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#i love rat aunt
lostandbackagain · 9 months
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I don't mind when books have a lot of sex but it might be nice if this one had maybe some normal sex for once
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner
#rat rambles#oc posting#warriors posting#spiraling upwards#long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds#I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated#and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them#oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much#and for good reason get his ass#alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones#aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit#so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another#honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that#most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will#and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan#but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot#she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic#but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated#some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them#instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding#it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming#out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits#that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion#she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit#so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards#now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while#for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place#she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy#but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up#and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly
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unforgivingchorus · 1 year
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I can’t read wings au fics very often despite loving them because the adhd/autism hits and I inevitably find myself reading about birds instead
#AimeeSpeaks#fanfiction meta#ao3#wing au#my friends are mostly on the better empathise with animals than humans side of autism but I’m firmly on the I oppisite side#I don’t really get the humanisation or like. empathy sympathy thing for animals#I’m not cruel and I like. respect that animals have boundaries and free will and deserve respect#like I know everything in theory I just don’t feel any real attachment to animals unless it’s like rare cases#I would never support the abuse of animals which I’m already afraid people thing when I say this stuff#I just don’t emotionally connect with them at all#plus despite all my friends loving rodents I’m extremely afraid of them and hate them#all rodents. rats and mice elicit such genuine fear in me it’s not normal. I can’t think about them or I’ll get too paranoid.#I can’t touch hamsters or rabbits or stuff and would much rather not be in the same room as them#I’m neutral on most other animals. soem I don’t like and some I respect#but overall very neutral#we used to play a game on long art days where my friend would name animals and I would state my stance on them#people who were around it a lot became desensitised to how many animals I’m nuetrual or not liking on but some people expected me to love th#the point of this is not even cats or dogs intrest or elicit emotions in me.#I respect cats but find alot of them dirty (anxiety trigger for me) and am neutral to dogs#my aunts dog is generally loved by the family but sometimes I feel guilty that she seems to really like me because I like#I respect her and can like. logically guess what she’s feeling and so I can pet her when I’m overwhelmed and let her sleep next to me#when I nap at family events but. I get really guilty that I don’t feel that same level of friendliness back to her. just vague acceptance#my friends dog is the only animal I’ve ever emotionally connected with. he’s a shithead with extreme anxiety and I was very drunk.#but the point of this is I like birds#liek not just respect them like cats and lizards I like them#I want to own one#I can sympathise with them easily I don’t think their dirty and I didn’t them extremely interesting#so I can’t read about them without the autism really kicking in and making my hyperfixate on actual bird reasearch
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vogelmeister · 2 months
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re reading the climax scenes of a story i wrote five years ago and i think the frankfurt tower scene might be up there with the best scenes ive written.
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wellthatschaotic · 9 months
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i want. a creechur friend :(
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calowlmitygoddess · 1 year
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im thinking about Imay relationships with Aster and Raine. She was sent to live with them by Akila as a way to further her studies of Neautra, as Aster is one of the most powerful mages in the mortal realm (and Akila was frankly tired of looking after her niece so trow the burden to someone else) and Imay HATES it.
Aster at least is easy to hate, hes abrasive, strict and snobish, its easy to dislike and resent this overglorifed shut in. But Raine is a diferent story. Raine is nice, she doesnt care that Imay treats her like ass like she does to everybody, she genuely cares for Imay, does things for her whitout Imay asking, brings Imay to help with her garden or play with Amalla, offers to help Imay look after herself, fix her hair, find nice clothes.
And Imay feels conflicted, its the first time in years someone has been genuely nice to her, looking after her, it reminds her so much of when she had a family that she ends up resenting Raine more than Aster for being annoying.
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helaintoloki · 1 month
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The Unbearable Truth
pairing: Five Hargreeves x reader
warnings: angst with no happy ending, spoilers
notes: so i actually hated this storyline in the show but i also recognize angst potential when i see it so here’s this
summary: after getting lost in the subway system, Five comes to a grave realization
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Five Hargreeves doesn’t love you anymore, and you’re completely oblivious to the fact.
You’re in the kitchen of Lila’s home baking holiday treats with your niece while awaiting the arrival of the rest of your family to begin the festivities. You smell of cinnamon and pinecones, and for the first time in years you actually feel content and happy with where your life is now. Sure, there’s technically a looming apocalypse hanging over you right now, but it’s nothing you haven’t handled before. You’re actually part of a family now with a man who adores you, and it’s all you’ve ever wanted.
“Alright, Grace, would you like to do the honors of putting the gumdrop buttons on the gingerbread men while I check on the sugar cookies?”
“Yes, aunt y/n!” The girl exclaims cheerfully before immediately diving into the candy bowl. You laugh at her eagerness and turn towards the oven only to be met with the sight of Five in the kitchen doorway. He looks disheveled and unnerved, but you’re too engrossed in your own joy filled bubble to pick up on it right away and instead mistake him for being tired and overwhelmed with the situation surrounding Ben and Jennifer.
“Hey, you made it!” You say with a smile as you press a chaste kiss to his cheek before turning your attention to the sugar cookies. Five can only stand there stiffly as he clings onto the ghost of your lips against his skin. He had hoped that by seeing you again, by being in your presence and showered in your love for him, the feelings he once held for you would return.
But as he stands there in the middle of the kitchen watching you run about, he realizes that he feels absolutely nothing.
Initially, he had wanted nothing more than to return home to you and his siblings. Five had fought tooth and nail trying to figure out a way to get out of that damned subway system so he could have you in his arms again and tell you how much he missed you even if for you he had only been gone a couple hours. But a man could only take eating so many subway rats and being shot at so many times. He had grown tired, weary, and depressed. For a moment it seemed they’d be stuck there forever, and so he decided that maybe it was time to make the most of it.
What he didn’t expect was to fall in love with his brother’s wife.
A woman he had once hated with his entire being now was his sole companion, and whether it was due to some sick twist of fate or a moment of weakness, he had begun to look at her the way he once looked at you. With complete adoration and care as well as a fierce need to protect her and keep her safe. He knew the chances of ever seeing you again were highly unlikely, and the next logical step would be to move on. So he did.
But now here he is, back in his original timeline left to deal with the aftermath of his decisions.
In what was seven years for Five and three hours for you, the boy has fallen out of love with you. Your smile still may be as beautiful as ever and your scent of red berry plum and jasmine may be intoxicating to any other man, but he feels absolutely nothing when he looks at you. The spark is gone, and unbeknownst to you your relationship is about to fall apart.
“Where did you run off to?” You ask him after setting the freshly baked sugar cookies onto the cooling rack nearby.
“I had an… errand to run,” he utters carefully, growing stiff when you wrap your arms around his torso and rest your head upon his shoulder. Calculatingly, Five hesitantly rests a hand on your back while the other comes to comb his fingers through your hair. It’s a familiar motion that he is easily able to replicate in order to portray himself as the same doting partner you know and love. Lila had sworn him to secrecy, but he wasn’t sure just how to break it off with you without telling the truth. So for now he would go through the motions and hope to god you didn’t pick up on the fact that something was completely wrong.
“I’m happy you’re here,” you profess earnestly, peering up at him with fluttering lashes and a devoted smile. “I love you, Five.”
His chest tightens in agony at your words, his hold on you tightening in an attempt to ground himself as he harshly swallows down his discomfort. He meets your adoring gaze and smiles, carefully tilting your chin upwards to meet his lips in a tender kiss. It’s believable enough to keep you feeling secure and oblivious to his detachment, and he hopes that maybe if he keeps this up he can forget all about Lila and go back to normal.
Even if it means he’s just playing a part.
Pulling away, he meets your loving stare and offers you a small smile. Hesitating, as if he has to force the words out of him, Five murmurs out a quiet, “I love you, too.”
And you believe him.
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nebulaafterdark · 2 months
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The Rats (Pt. 5)
Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
Summary: Aegon attempts to make peace with Rhaenyra after being forced to usurp her throne. Lucerys’ death complicates things.
18+ ONLY, MDNI. Targcest, smut, angst, violence.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
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Two days pass before Y/N is called to stand round her mother’s council table and discuss strategy for their return to King’s Landing.
“With Aemond and Helaena gone, they have no dragons. But they do have a formidable land army, it would be my great honor to return on dragon back and present your terms. Once they agree, I will send word here.” Aegon says.
“And if they won’t agree?” Daemon arches a brow.
“How we proceed from there will be left up to the Queen.”
“We’re supposed to trust you?” Daemon sneers, “this is your fault.”
“For the sake of the seven, Daemon.” Y/N throws up a hand, wincing as it pulls the scabbed flesh of her side. “After all he has done for my mother’s cause, can you not afford him the smallest bit of grace?”
“He still breathes our air, does he not?” Daemon drawls, “this is a concession made for you, daughter.”
“I shall go with him to King’s Landing then.” Y/N offers.
“No,” Rhaenyra says, immediately. “You are my heir, the risk is too great.”
“Then we offer our terms by raven,” Y/N insists. “After they agree, our fleet returns together. Aegon swears his allegiance, on bended knee and you ascend the throne as our rightful Queen.”
“Who’s to say Alicent will not ignore the fucking message?”
“Aegon is her King.” Y/N narrows her eyes at Daemon. “One does not ignore letters from their fucking King.”
————————————————————————
“Mother?” Dahlia tugs at her skirts.
Y/N blinks away the fog clouding her mind. “Yes, my love.”
“You look sad, or frightened.”
“Forgive me.” Y/N forces a smile, “I am expecting a message. You know how I dislike waiting.”
Dahlia nods, plopping into her mother’s lap, as her father plays happily with her siblings. “Do you think it has to happen?”
“What, my darling?” Y/N wraps both arms around her.
“That brothers and sisters must fight for the throne?”
“No one is fighting,” Y/N assures her.
“I saw what the bad men did to Aunt Helaena.” Dahlia whispers, “it was because of Uncle Lucerys…when he went to the heavens. Uncle Aemond sent him there, because Luce took his eye.”
“Who told you this?” Y/N demands. “Alicent?”
“Grandmother did not tell me a thing. No one ever does.”
“Because you are a child, and this burden is not a child’s to bear.”
“I hear things,” Dahlia tells her, “and I see them. Though I would rather hear them from you or father. At least you are kind about it.”
“Has someone been unkind to you?”
“Not to me, but to father, in front of me.” Dahlia leans into her mother, “and sometimes to you, in front of me.”
“I apologize, my darling.” Y/N kisses the back of her head, “our family history is…a unique tapestry, by no fault of yours. There are many people we love dearly who’ve been hurt and those who’ve hurt us.”
Dahlia says, “if that is what it means to sit the throne, I do not want to.”
“That is not what it means to sit the throne.” Y/N explains, “your great grandsire, Viserys reigned peacefully, all his years. But I will not force it upon you.”
Dahlia nods.
“You are my daughter first and my heir second. That is how I was raised, equal to my brothers in every way.” Y/N presses on, “I do not believe that brothers and sisters must fight. I think rather, it is a tragedy when they do.”
“So father and grandmother Rhaenyra are not at war?”
Y/N sighs, pointing to Aegon, blowing raspberries on Laenor’s belly. “Does your father appear to be at war?”
“No.” Dahlia shrugs, fighting back a grin.
“We needn’t fret then.”
Aegon the fourth begins to fuss, having been left to his own devices too long.
Dahlia climbs off her mother’s lap, tapping her youngest brother’s nose. “Shh.”
The babe grabs for her finger, holding it tightly in his grasp, as Dahlia coos at him.
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“Is everything alright, my dearest love?” Aegon asks his wife, when they are finally alone in their quarters. “You were awfully quiet at supper.”
“Do you know what your daughter asked me?” Y/N turns to Aegon, as he strips down to his small clothes, for bed.
“Gods only know,” he laughs, “which daughter was it?”
“Dahlia.”
“Dahlia,” he repeats, fondly. “What did my girl ask you?”
“Whether or not brothers and sisters must fight for the throne.” Y/N informs him, “she also presumed that you’d be going to war against my mother.”
Aegon sighs, “and what did you tell her?”
“No, of course. But she’s overheard a great many things in her life. I’m not sure the simple answer will suffice.”
“The whispers round these halls are insidious.”
“It is every hall,” Y/N shakes her head. “She watched that man hold a knife to Helaena’s throat.”
Aegon abandons his sleep clothes on the chair to comfort his wife.
“I have failed her.” Y/N sprawls out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
“You have not.” Aegon climbs in beside her, wrapping her carefully in his arms; mindful of her injury. “You are a wonderful mother, my love.”
“I’m meant to protect her.”
“You did.” Aegon insists, “you protected our children and my sister’s.”
Y/N nods against his chest, “why then do I feel so awful?”
“Awful mothers do not spend their nights lamenting imagined shortcomings.” Aegon presses his lips to the top of her head. “Our children know love and that they are worthy of it. I think it speaks volumes she was comfortable enough to raise this matter with you.”
“Do you truly believe that?” Y/N leans up on her elbow.
“I do.” Aegon meets her eyes.
She leans down, pressing her lips to his, before turning over to make herself comfortable with her back to his chest. “This is the longest we have not lied together, save for the weeks following the births of our babes.”
“I’ve no desire to cause you more pain.” Aegon murmurs, “but if you are feeling up to it…”
“I think it might help me find sleep.”
Aegon wastes no time reaching round her hip, hiking up her nightgown and slipping a hand beneath her small clothes, rubbing slow circles over her pearl until she is wet and wanting. “This is good fortune, you know?”
“Of course,” Y/N laughs, indulgently.
“Laugh all you want.” He groans, low in his throat. Shoving the pesky garment down past her knees and easing his cock into her from behind. “Your cunt has gifted me the greatest winning streak in all the realm.”
“And how is that, my love?” Y/N sighs as his fingers continue dancing along her pearl.
“Four wonderful children and years of happiness. Though I’d like to make it five.”
“Get to work then.” She reaches back, to bury a hand in his hair. “Ow,” she hisses, moving for her bandage, but Aegon’s hand is already there.
“Shhh, shh, shhh.” Aegon hushes her. “Be good for me, darling girl. Be still.”
“I can’t.”
“Try for me.” Aegon breathes, fucking her slow and deep, watching her sweet fingers curl around the pillow instead. “That’s the way,” Aegon praises, “lie there and take me.”
Y/N relaxes into the mattress.
“I love you.” He breathes, against her ear.
“I love you.” Again she begins reaching for him, only to be caught by his hand.
Aegon laces their fingers together. “Whilst your mother is Queen, we will spend many a day lazing about our chambers. Entertaining our children, creating more, watching them grow. We’re going to live happily together, the way we’ve dreamed it.”
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Before first light they are called to an impromptu meeting of the small council.
“There’s been word from King’s Landing.”
“And?”
“Alicent has agreed to our terms,” Rhaenyra announces. “Her only request is an audience with the acting King and Queen before the declaration of allegiance.”
Aegon’s mouth is agape when Y/N turns to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“This is wonderful news.”
Daemon rolls his eyes.
“Indeed,” Rhaenyra beams at Y/N. “We will fly out within the hour. The four of us,” she motions to her daughter, half brother and husband, in turn.
“Oh happy day,” Daemon grumbles.
“The children will remain here, until the transition of power is complete. Then we return for them on dragon back.”
“Too easy.” Daemon rounds the table to Aegon. “Surely a trap, laid by your bitch mother.”
Y/N slaps her palm against the table, “you may not speak that way of my husband or his house. My daughter has overheard, the servants whisper in the halls.”
“Then see their tongues removed.” Daemon sneers.
“Enough.” Rhaenyra holds up a hand. “We are a family. Aegon is my father’s son, your brother’s child, my daughter’s husband. With grievances of his own, surely; yet here he stands.”
“We’re supposed to forgive all of it? Clouding my brother’s mind with milk of the poppy, usurping your throne, forcing you into such a state of distress that we lost our unborn child?” Daemon shakes his head, “and Lucerys?”
Rhaenyra blanches.
“You are innocent?” Y/N scoffs. “Tell my mother how I came to be here on Dragonstone. Tell her what my little girl saw the men you hired do.”
“I did not order them to harm children!”
“As my husband did not order the murder of my brother.” Y/N says, pointedly.
“We cannot hope for a better future if we cannot be better ourselves.” Aegon looks to his uncle. “I am not asking for forgiveness, nor your kinship. I am asking for peace in the space between us, and I swear to you, it will be a significant amount of space.”
They are dismissed then, to don their riding gear before meeting Rhaenyra and Daemon near the dragon pit.
“Good morrow, my girl.” Y/N greets her dragon, passing a hand over her scales.
Sunfyre butts his nose against Aegon’s chest, smiling as he does.
“Hello, there.” Aegon grins, patting his snout. “We’re off to King’s Landing, shortly.”
Stormborn waits her turn to be greeted by Aegon, enjoying her rider’s affection as she does. When Aegon does come to her, he is met with a content hum.
“There we are, sweetling.” Aegon pets her bowed head.
“Good morrow, Sunfrye.” Y/N steps over to the golden dragon.
He does not sing for her, the way he always does, glaring as he leans into her hand.
“You’re still angry with me, aren’t you?” Y/N sighs.
The golden dragon huffs.
Aegon chuckles. “Now, now, Sunfyre. Infuriating as she is, we love her.”
Sunfyre blinks at Y/N, expectantly.
“Forgive me, my friend. I do not intend to take Stormborn from you again. That is why we fly together this day.” Y/N says, leaning her forehead against him.
Sunfyre begins crooning.
They will tell stories someday of a Queen and King Consort, so deeply in love their dragons could not bear to be parted; and how their marriage, born of duty, saved the mighty house Targaryen.
Taglist: @callsignwidow @fallout-girl219 @syraxnyra @vickynephilim @jeondeluxe111 @geeksareunique @arya-brooke @7minutes-tomidnight @ninastyless @aleemendoza2425-blog @livingdead-reilly @whenmypartysover @darlingisntit @nayaniasworld @uniquecroissant @spacexdrago @kaysav608 @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @wolflover384 @jaydemon99 @minttea07 @lightdragonrayne @baybaybear1 @oh-you-mean-me @niyahnotnia @holymusicalmothman @lxdyred @godofstory @cloud-toast @jankityjankjank @lenadoerrer
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doberbutts · 9 months
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Curious about something you mentioned in your post last week, you said that in your opinion all drugs should be legal and I’m curious about how that would be a positive at all? Like I get weed bc it’s pretty harmless but when I think of drugs I think of cocaine and heroin, which have destroyed so many lives. If it was widely available wouldn’t that end up hurting more people than helping? That’s just my opinion but I’m curious on the other side
I do think all drugs should be legal. This is said knowing that addiction runs in my family and that the only reason my older sister is my *sister* is due to drug use and addiction. Otherwise she'd be my cousin.
Making drugs illegal does not stop people from getting high. It does not stop drug related crime. And it certainly does not stop drugs from tearing families apart.
Addiction is a symptom of a larger problem. Solve the problem and the addict problem goes away. Solve the addict problem and drugs stop ruining lives and destroying families and creating massive amounts of drug related violence. Places that have roled out decriminalization strategies effectively have seen an overall reduction in crime rates across the board, a reduction in recreational drug use, and a reduction in bloodborne illness like HIV. Creating safe needle exchanges as well as safe places to get high with medical staff onhand has also created a locale where very few people die from overdose.
Most people hear "decriminalize all drugs" and think I mean a free-for-all. I don't. I think the drug market should be regulated. I don't think you should be able to get ketamine or heroin over the counter at a walmart like you can get asprin. But I think it's time to stop putting people in jail for getting high.
My aunt tore her life and her family and her health apart for years while she was addicted to heroin. My sister, her daughter, needed to be removed from her care due to the amazingly bad choices she made as a mother due to her addiction and her prioritizing drugs over the health and safety of her daughter. My aunt has had multiple heart attacks from the damage the constant drug use did to her body.
My aunt is more than a decade sober and do you know why? It's not because she got a wakeup call when her daughter was taken away, because at the time she willingly and freely signed her over to my parents because that got her "out of [her] hair". It's not because she had a heart attack, because she went right back to it the moment she was out of the hospital. It's not even because she spent time in rehab and prison, because the moment she was out she was using again.
No, my aunt got sober because her life changed. She was put on a better pain management plan. She got out of her shitty marriage to her shitty husband. She completed some education to make her more hireable so she didn't have to rely on less than safe means of paying her bills. She reconnected with my sister and reforged their relationship once she was 18. She bought her own house. She found love with someone who didn't give a shit about her past and brought out the best in her.
My aunt was a deeply unhappy person. Heroin made life more tolerable for her. Until she couldn't tolerate life without it. Until she'd do anything, anything, to get her next high.
A lot of addicts are addicts because they are self-medicating for something else and their drug of choice has chemical properties that makes their brains crave it more. If you fix the "deeply unhappy" part, you create a healthier environment for that addict to take control over their life again. Without it, they are far more likely to continue to relapse.
Knowing this, why would I then want to add the threat of prison and jailtime- life-ruining things themselves- to an addict's list of concerns?
Look up rat park sometime. In the rat paradise, drugged water was freely offered, and occasional a rat here or there would take a hit or two, but rarely enough to even get high and almost never habitually. Addiction literally didn't exist even though the rats were taking addictive substances. But the rats in cages, seperated from each other, with no enrichment, crammed into small spaces and stressed to hell? Those rats took hit after hit after hit until they overdosed and died. The addict rats were deeply unhappy. The drugs were their only escape. The paradise rats had to be lured in with sweetened drugs to even consider and even then they rejected them. The caged rats did not need sweetner, even though the drugs made the water bitter.
If we can see such a stark difference in rats having their needs met vs rats experiencing isolation and stress, what would happen if we showed human addicts the same consideration?
I think a lot better results than continuing to jail deeply unhappy and desperate people for doing the only thing they can think of to cope.
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year
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On the subject of Damian and the axolotl, I feel like people do send him pictures of animals and stuff and he gives a rating, idk tho
Stranger: I thought you'd like to know that Lacey had her puppies. *sends a pic*
Damian: For once, a mother who should be proud. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: *sends a derpy cat pic* This is my cat Momo, short for Movie-Theater Mozzarella-Sticks. He just turned 3 and likes to eat pillow feathers.
Damian: Truly the cat of all time. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I think I saw Krypto the Superdog on my way to work. *sends blurry video of Krypto flying*
Damian: There goes Metropolis's hero. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: *sends a pic of a lizard in a pointy hat* This is King Gizzard, my lizard, as a wizard for Halloween.
Damian: I would give him all my candy. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: *sends a video of their parrot*
The parrot: Polly loves crackers and Damian.
Damian: Tell Polly I love her too. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: Bruh there are so many gophers at Gotham U. *sends pic of gophers chilling in the quad*
Damian: 10/10. Good for them, living their best life.
———————
Stranger: Do fish count? If so here's Bubbles. *sends video of a goldfish*
Damian: They absolutely do. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I went to my aunt's farm and got to ride the horses. Meet Dash. *sends Instagram story with a horse*
Damian: A fine specimen. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: Opinions on this stingray? *sends scuba diving footage*
Damian: Superb. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I found a worm. What should I name him? *sends pic*
Damian: He looks like a Kevin. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: This is me and my stepdad with the hens we've been raising. *sends pic*
Damian: What lovely ladies. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I went to a butterfly garden today. *sends video of a butterfly landing on their hand*
Damian: Stunning. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I just got back from a safari. *sends album of savannah herds*
Damian: Next time take me with you. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: *sends a Ratatouille GIF*
Damian: Don't tell my family but I'm training my rats to do the same. 10/10 by the way.
———————
Stranger: This is Herbie, our class bunny. *sends a pic with the teacher fumbling in the background*
Damian: He looks more intelligent than your teacher. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: *sends pic* Got bored and bought a frog. I'm naming him Toad.
Damian: I hope your life is as dull as ever. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: Tzu Tzu keeps leaving her laundry everywhere. *sends video of a snake shedding its skin*
Damian: You're her assistant. Do your job. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I finally got a hamster!! *sends video*
Damian: Now treat them like royalty and get yourself some tubing. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: Ideas for decorating my hermit crab's shell? For context his name is Juan and he likes the color yellow. *sends pic*
Damian: I suggest black and gold. 10/10.
———————
Stranger: I saw a turtle on my morning walk. *sends a pic*
Damian: Ethereal. 10/10.
———————
Bruce: *sends a family photo*
Damian: *blocks and reports*
1K notes · View notes
strang3lov3 · 1 year
Text
strang3lov3’s masterlist
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I do not give consent for anyone to copy, plagiarize, translate, post my work elsewhere, or put my work into AI chat bots.
all fics are f!reader and I’m a sucker for cream pies. Just pretend Joel’s shooting blanks.
Updated 09/09/2024
Joel Miller
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One shots
Lookalike - Joel finds your dirty mag and makes you get off in front of him.
Everyday I’m Shufflin’ - Joel is horrified to find out that you cannot shuffle a deck of cards, so he teaches you in a rather unorthodox way.
A Learning Process - When it rains, it pours. Shit hits the fan the first day you’re alone with your infant son, and Joel comforts you.
Tis’ But a Scratch - Too stubborn and proud to admit your mistakes or that you may need Joel’s help sometimes, Joel decides to teach you a lesson.
For Science - Joel helps to alleviate your period cramps. You know, for science.
Sleeping Beauty - Joel realizes you’re dreaming of him and wakes you up in the best way possible (his head between your thighs)
Self-Indulgent Tendencies - (dbf!joel) Joel finds you skinny dipping in his pool, and gives you two options. He can call the cops on you or he can punish you himself. You choose the latter of the two.
Phone a Friend - a story of two assholes and how they resolved their sexual tension (alternatively, Joel is sick of hearing you masturbate night after night)
Cup of Sugar - (dilf!neighbor!Joel) Joel catches you rifling through his belongings when you’re frantically searching for batteries after your vibrator dies.
Joyride - (dbf!joel) when your car breaks down, Joel decides to give you one of his. He just has to make sure you can handle a stick first ;)
Have your cake and eat it too - (brat tamer!joel, mean!joel, dom!joel) when you make joel bust in his favorite pair of jeans, he makes you clean your mess.
Cream (horny husband!joel x reader) Joel is insatiable. He convinces you to get it on at his aunt's house on Thanksgiving. He's also got a lot of dirty Thanksgiving jokes he thought of last year that he's been saving to annoy you.
Fighting Fair - Joel doesn’t know what or who started this fucking thing, but he’s finishing it. Tonight.
Love Spell - (Sex pollen) After eating some mysterious berries, you and Joel spend a very memorable and unexpected Valentine’s Day together
Enjoy the Silence - You trespass into Joel’s house in search of some peace and quiet so you can get yourself off. Joel catches you in his bed in a compromising position.
Chevelle - (virginity loss) Joel figures out that you’re the one who hit his baby, his precious 1964 Chevrolet Chevelle. He needs you to make it right, but he doesn’t want your money.
Play Stupid Games - who woulda thought you could make Joel come by playing with his nipples?
Dirty Laundry - Joel's best kept secret is the washer and dryer he's not supposed to have. Your best kept secret is that you've been using that washer to get yourself off.
Click Here - You and Joel both know how he got that virus on his computer, and you can’t help but to relentlessly tease him in more ways than one…until Joel’s had enough.
Bite Me - You learn two things on a particularly boring patrol shift - Joel loves to bite and you love to be bitten.
Seeing Red - Joel’s sorry that your period sucks, but he's reached the end of his rope with your attitude.
On Display - You crave more than just Joel’s eyes on you, so he gives you an audience.
Safety First - While camping, Joel insists on thoroughly checking you for ticks. Safety first, after all.
Catnap - Joel interrupts your nap on his thighs.
Dinner and a Show - A corrupt FEDRA soldier catches you and Joel sneaking back into the QZ. He’ll look the other way, but you’re gonna make it worth his while.
Bad Habit - Joel helps you to quit smoking.
Series
Lather (incomplete) When Joel injures his shoulder, he needs your help washing his hair and getting off 🚿🧼💦 part one, part two
Mall Rats(complete) Joel keeps track of you as you search your way through an abandoned mall. You don’t make his job easy. First stop is Victoria’s Secret. Masterlist
Brain Scramblies (complete) after sustaining a concussion, you tell Joel how you really feel about him. You don’t remember a thing the next day. Part one, part two
-
Ezra (Prospect)
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One Shots
Lavender - Ezra gives you a pleasurable massage.
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Frankie Morales
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One shots
The Real Deal - Frankie demonstrates why exactly he’s less than impressed by your rose toy.
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Roman Roy
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Because my Roman audience is so small, I have a taglist for him. If you leave me a kind/excited comment/rb/ask about my Roman writing I tag you on the next fic 🩷 you’re also welcome to send me a message/ask to join or leave it.
One shots
Invisible Line- boundary after boundary is crossed when your boss is left with no choice but to share his bed with you.
Raise - Roman will increase your raise substantially, so long as you don't lose his game.
Indecent - Roman manspreads in the hot tub.
Dinner and a Show - Roman, a corrupt FEDRA soldier catches you and Joel sneaking back into the QZ. He’ll look the other way, but you’re gonna make it worth his while.
Series
Stepdaddy!Roman -(incomplete) You have a weird thing with your stepfather.
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maxillness · 2 months
Text
Write Me A Song || Piastri!Singer!Reader x Mark Webber
Summary: Yn's been spending a little too much time with her brother's mentor
Warnings: Talk about pregnancy and pre-eclampsia, yn is besties with taylor swift
Face claim: Isabel LaRosa
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Tagged oscarpiastri, aussiegrit
Liked by oscarpiastri and 28,893,894 others
ynpiastri It's giving son and father on the first school day, and I'm here for it... I'm in the paddock this weekend... If that wasn't obvious
aussiegrit It's pretty obvious
ynpiastri Nobody asked you, kangaroo
aussigrit You're Australian too...?
ynpiastri You've just gotten un-invited to my concert
aussiegrit Wow... What a loss
taylorswift Say hi to Nando from me 😘
ynpiastri Will do, baby ✨
user Never beating the taylor x nando allegations
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Tagged ynpiastri
Liked by ynpiastri and 421,983 others
aussiegrit Showed up anyways
ynpiastri You know, un-invited, means not invited, right?
aussiegrit Does it look like i give a rats ass?
ynpiastri Kangaroo
user Can we just talk about how two of the pictures he took is where you see pretty much EVERYTHING?
user Man's got a crush
user Imagine that though 💀 Mark Webber having a crush on his protégé's older sister
user Right out of a fanfic
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Tagged aussiegrit, oscarpiastri
Liked by oscarpiastri, aussiegrit and 29,182,982 others
ynpiastri Some much needed summer vacation
user Can we just talk about why yn's at a grill party where mark is half naked??
ynpiastri Oscar was there too
user But you took a picture of mark HALF NAKED
ynpiastri Oscar's in the picture too... The person to the left wearing a black shirt
oscarpiastri Mom's trying to call you
ynpiastri I know... I'm watching it ring
aussiegrit Is that photo absolutely necessary?
ynpiastri I don't know what you're talking about
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Liked by oscarpiastri and 29,298,983 others
ynpiastri Took home a stray after yesterday's concert (jk. he's a friend)
oscarpiastri You have friends?
ynpiastri Man, don't even talk. You only have Lily and Lando
oscarpiastri ... And mom
user A friend you say? Kinda look like webber if you ask me
user Mark and yn are friends?
user But why would she take him home with her?
user You got me there
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Liked by oscarpiastri and 241,289 others
aussiegrit Who ever said it was a good idea to date someone younger is lying
ynpiastri @/oscarpiastri You knew about this shit?
oscarpiastri I knew he was dating someone, just not who
user Guys, yn's so confused, i don't think it's her
user Could be a bluff, though
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Tagged taylorswift
Liked by taylorswift and 29,389,367 others
ynpiastri I love you @/taylorswift, and thank you to the person who took that photo of me and my boyfriend
oscarpiastri Boyfriend?
ynpiastri You're not the only one in a stable relationship
taylorswift I love you too, mami 🎀
user We need to find the person who took that photo so they can tell us who he is
ynpiastri Jokes on you, they promised not to say anything 😉
user Damn it...
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Liked by aussiegrit and 29,441,492 others
ynpiastri Early mornings are the best
user This is actually so cute 😭
user I keep my ground. Man looks like @/aussiegrit
aussiegrit Fuck you mean? I woke you up at 10 am once, and you called me a whore and kicked me out of your room because it was 'too early'
ynpiastri You are a whore
user 💀
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Liked by taylorswift and 29,598,345 others
ynpiastri We've decided to reveal our relationship when I give birth in about 5 months time
oscarpiastri THIS is how i find out you're pregnant?
ynpiastri Well, if you would actually pick up your phone
user Mother is pregnant?!?!
taylorswift I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE YALL
ynpiastri Jeez, you're more excited about me being pregnant than I am
taylorswift I'm gonna be the best aunt there is. Watch me
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Tagged aussiegrit
Liked by aussiegrit, oscarpiastri and 29,698,346 others
ynpiastri Early in my pregnancy, I got pre-eclampsia and my doctor told me to stay in bed. It gave me time to write more songs, so I wrote this just for you, my kangaroo.
I know you'll be a great father for our little kangaroo
user Mother, you can not get me to cry like that 😭
ynpiastri Sorry, love ❤️
oscarpiastri I don't care what @/taylorswift says, he's my nephew
taylorswift If he was my nephew, he'd have bad blood
ynpiastri You just couldn't help yourself, could you?
taylorswift 🎀
aussiegrit I love you, darling
ynpiastri I love you too, kangaroo
user Honestly, nobody is surprised it's Mark
user What IS surprising, is that mark now have a kid
user And yn as well. We're not lying when we call her mommy anymore
221 notes · View notes
tossawary · 10 months
Text
Every time I see or otherwise imagine a Daemon AU (a story borrowing the concept of "physical soul animals" from the "His Dark Materials" book series), I get distracted thinking about aaaaall the logistical issues and cultural changes that would happen if the world was different in this way. Especially if it's a story that's set in the modern day!
Mostly, I'm distracted by cultural changes that are, uh, let's go with "silly". Like, I think people would put in cat doors and ramps for their daemons. I think people would put their turtle daemons on hot wheel cars and let their rat daemons drive miniature cars. I think some miserable people would be unreasonably outraged by "assistive devices" for daemons and call it unnatural. I think people would post online like, "I just watched my grandma's elderly dog daemon spend ten minutes trying to climb onto the couch." I think that there would be Tumblr polls asking: "Are daemons allowed on the furniture in your house?" And some people would be like, "Absolutely not, that's disgusting," and other people would be like, "Yes?! Of course?!?!?!"
I think some people would put their daemons in outfits. I think some people would wear MATCHING outfits with their daemons. I think there would be a huge market for daemon accessories like collars and scarves. I think you could find someone who would argue to their dying breath that putting a collar on your daemon is a form of abusing yourself. I think there would be daemons who would straight up hate wearing anything, especially the daemons of young children, and shed collars immediately. I think some people would get their daemon's ears pierced.
I think people would take photos of their daemons getting stuck in stupid places. I think people would take photos of their daemons making silly expressions. I think these photos would be used as memes. I think this would be included in the "don't take photos of strangers and post them online???" arguments. I think some people would try to get animals that are the same as their daemon forms so that their daemon could have a "friend". I think the exotic pet trade in this world would be horrible, especially in relation to modelling and acting industries, and that some people and their daemons would work as "substitute daemon actors".
I think that people would judge other people based on their daemons, sure. I also think that daemons are incorporated into things like astrology and matchmaking in ways that our world can't imagine. "Oh, I only date guys with dog daemons. Guys with cat daemons are too feminine," would be a constant sexist / homophobic sitcom joke and also a real thing people would say. There would be sex books written taking daemons into account and I'm not going to get into it more than that except to say...
The furry "discourse" that must exist in a Modern Daemon AU is operating on a level that we cannot possibly fathom.
Most of this stuff is not relevant for most Daemon AUs, but I feel like when doing any kind of cultural worldbuilding, we must face the fact that many people love and hate nothing more than to sincerely and insincerely get into extensive Twitter arguments over pointless bullshit. And also, on a lighter note, that "Draw yourself and your daemon!" would be a classic Day 1 of school activity for children. Confession blogs would have people saying, "My mom and aunt and grandma all have parrot daemons, so until I was four, I genuinely thought all women had bird daemons. When I met a woman with an iguana daemon in a grocery store, I asked her what kind of bird it was supposed to be. My mom has laughingly brought it up every few weeks for the past twenty years."
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mae-gi-writes · 1 year
Text
rile you up | lee Minho (xo kitty)
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You’re Minho’s latest form of entertainment and he cannot just get enough of riling you up.
Genre: romcom, slice of life, school!au, minho is a little dick
———
“Fuck you, Minho.”
“What a ray of sunshine you are on this fine day.”
You grit your teeth together, almost grind them to nothing, and repeat the words with even more conviction, “I said fuck you.”
”Watch that tongue sunshine, might fall out if you’re not careful,” Minho’s grin just widens at the way your eyes have narrowed into slights. If looks could kill, he would’ve been shot int he head twice, revived, and shot once again. But thankfully for him, your narrow-eyed stare is nothing scarier than a cute kitten ready to take her claws out.
It’s a boring, rainy and muddy Wednesday afternoon and you really don’t want to be here, in English Lit, listening to professor Lau drone on and on about love and friendship in the verses of Lord Byron’s poems and how, if you read in-between the lines and analyze the intonations, the words, the onomatopieas, you’ll find a much deeper definition of Lord Byron’s feelings.
And Minho sitting right beside you is not making it much easier.
“You’ve got a pimple growing on your left cheek,” Minho squints at your face as you turn away, cupping your face with your hands as your eyes find the lock tick, tick, ticking at the far end of the classroom. Thirty more minutes of this torture.
“Can you just stop hyper-analyzing me like I’m some kind of lab rat?I’m really not in the mood for this right now.” You snap back.
“Woah,” Minho sighs before he shakes his head, “you really did wake up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
“And you, my friend, need to mind your own business.”
“Minho and Y/N.”
Professor Lau’s voice causes both of them to wince, physically, before looking up to see the said old man with bespectacled glasses, the book of poems in his hand and his eyebrows raised as though he expected better.
If you’re being honest, you really do enjoy Professor Lau’s classes, normally. Normally.
But not today. Today, you’re having a completely off day. You woke up late, you couldn’t sleep at all last night, and all the coffee had run out by the time you’d made it to campus. Your grades are suffering and you’re currently trying to ploughing through all the assignments without drowning.
And the worst of it all, you miss home.
You miss your mom. You miss your family, your brother with whom you would fight with at every occasion and play Mario kart with. You missed your grandma, your aunts, the food they cooked, the shared laughter, the smiles…
You’re in so deep in your thought process that you haven’t even registered that Professor Lau is telling you off until he calls for your name that brings you back to attention.
“—yes?” Your eyes flit up to Professor Lau’s and a wave of emotion suddenly takes its toll on you. You try hard to blink back the sudden burn of tears at the corner of your eyes, crawling up your throat.
“I was expecting better of your behaviour, miss Y/N,” he says, pointedly looking between you and Minho with pursed lips, “in my office after class. You’re up for cleaning duty.”
Great. That’s exactly what you need. After everything.
Fucking. Great.
———
“These pretty hands cannot clean,” these are Minho’s first words as the rest of the class files out to leave you two alone on cleaning duty and as you had predicted, there are papers all over the place, test papers and pens and pencils, “I’ve taken care of my hands all these years. I am not ruining it just to clean a classroom.”
“You are so freaking dramatic,” you roll your eyes, standing up to find the cleaning supplies that are stacked at the back of the class, in the storage closet, “let’s just get this over with and we can both move on with our lives and I won’t have to see you again for the rest of this week.”
“What’s up your arse, dude?” Minho follows you, one hand leaning on the doorframe as you start pulling out the duster, the cleaning rags and the shiny new broom that Professor Lau is currently obsessed with, “you’ve been acting really weird.”
“What?” You scoff, proceeding to hand him the broom because you know he’s never going to be the one on his hands and knees cleaning the floors, “I’m not. I’m just tired.”
“No, you’ve been acting off all week. You’re all snappy, your dark circles are so prominent you look like a walking zombie and you keep asking me to go fuck myself,” Minho rolls his eyes, “also, how do you use this?”
“Jesus chri—“ you make a move towards him, grabbing the hand holding the broom while struggling to circle his back and grabbing the other, “you keep that thing steady, then you brush the dirt from this one—“ you grip his hand and shuffle it over the floor in a sweeping motion, “until it goes into the pan. Got it?”
It's only then you realize the warmth emanating from Minho's back. If you move a little closer, you could press your cheek against him. He smells like something citrus and fresh mint and man.
Somehow, it makes goosebumps explode all over your skin. You step back abruptly, noting the heat searing through your palms where you had touched him just as he turns to face you, "you seem to be a natural at this. Why don't you do it?"
"I'm gonna take care of the floors," you're glad for the distraction that comes in the form of the rag, for there's a knot of heat in the middle of your chest and you're not quite sure how to deal with it, "let's just get this over with."
There's a long moment of silence as both of you focus on your tasks, which helps to calm down your nerves. Somehow, the sound of Minho's brush is conforting to hear.
Until he speaks up, "so you're gonna tell me what's wrong?"
"Why should I tell you, of all people?"
"Because there's nobody else around and seeing you all mopey makes me actually feel bad for you."
You wipe off the dusty corner by the teacher's desk, "Do you have any ounce of decency in you somewhere?"
"Not when you're involved," Minho snickers.
You whip around, throw the balled-up rag at him and smirk in satiafaction when it hits him square in the head, "ow--what the fuck, Y/N?!"
Glad that you managed to piss him off, you turn and continue, "oops sorry. My hand slipped."
It's not ultimately Minho's fault that you're more anxious, more easily irritated than usual. So you can't really take it out on him. But he doesn't make it any easier either.
Thankfully, the rest of the cleanup goes smoothly as butter and he parts ways with the excuse that he needs to go find his aupposed lunch date, to which you merely rolles your eyes and headed for the dining hall alone.
It doesn't normally bother you to be alone. On the contrary, you relish in those silent moments of freedom without having to hear an earful from Kitty and Q, or having Yuri complain about yet another one of her life's family miseries.
But as you find a vacant seat by the door, you can't help but suddenly feel a little small in a room full of people who seem to be right where they should be. And something in your heart constricts and clenches so hard it causes a soft sob to die at the back of your throat.
You grip your spoon a little tighter and bite down so hard on your lip that you feel the tangy taste of blood.
It feels lonely.
------
You're kind of sick.
Not physically sick.
Just sick of hearing christmas carols ringing all over campus. Sick of smelling hot chocolate in the air, sick of seeing luggages being dragged on vacation.
Sick of being here.
For an international student, returning home for Christmas was never an option. The airplane ticket is too expensive for your familt to afford, and you wouldn't ever impose that on them. But if you had to admit to that selfish part of you; you wished you were privileged enough to get to fly out at every chance you got.
Alas, that is not the kind of life that you live.
So when the doorbell rings at seven-thirty in the morning on Christmas Eve, you're more than surprised to find none other than Minho standing by your door with his hands in his pockets.
"Wh--Yeah? What do you want?" You frown upon noticing the lack of luggage behind him. Knowing Minho, he packed like a diva.
He hums and peeks inside your flat, causing you to shuffle into his peripheral vision, "what do you want Minho?"
"You're not packed."
"Wise observation, smartass."
He brushes past you and strides inside, taking his shoes off casually by the door, "why not?"
"None of your business."
He throws you an exasperated look, "you gonna keep being like this?"
"I don't know, are you gonna keep annoying the hell out of me?"
He can't help the grin that spreads over his face at that, "you're fun to mess around with."
"Well for your information, it's not fun. Not for me," you don't hesitate to walk over before grabbing onto his arm and tugging over to the door, "really. I'm fine. Now leave."
"I'm surprised you're not going home for Christmas," he continues as you're pushing him out of the door.
It stings, "why?"
"International kids usually do," he folds his arms, proceeds to lean into the open doorway and you got another whiff of his scent, "what? Daddy didn't want to pay for you this time?"
"My dad died. Two years ago."
There's surprise first, that flashes through his eyes. Then realization slowly dawns.
There’s some kind of weight in your chest. Like your heart has just broke.
"What?" You laugh but it's dry and twisted, "cat got your tongue? Too shocked to speak? Poor little Y/N, who doesn't have a father to pay off her credit card bills, right?"
"I didn't know--"
"Of course you didn't. You never asked."
"I'm--" he swallows, looks away, "—sorry."
You scoff, "don't. It's okay. I've been over it for the past two years."
It's not what he says but rather the way he looks at you that makes your insides shrivel up with dread and fear and the idea that he'll never look at you the same way ever again.
Because the thing is, no matter how much Mjnjo teases you, bullies you into oblivion, you do enjoy the attention, the banter. It's almost as if it's better than just being ignored altogether.
And amidst all his teasing and his annoying personaity, there are bite and smidges of Minho's kindness smattered in-between, flecks of tenderness that makes your heart soar, your brrath
To have such a man look down at you, pity you, makes you want to be sick.
"Y/N--" you cut him off before he can even try to make it up to you, "it's fine, Minho. Just drop it--"
"Wha--I said I was sorry, don't give me that look--"
"I said drop it!" You swerve around on him, anger bubbling from deep within your chest as blood pulses through, rushes through you, "for one goddamn second, can you just leave me alone?! I don’t need this—this constant bullying of your part! It’s tiring and it’s just so goddamn frustrating and humiliating so will you just stop?!”
The shocked silence that follows your sudden outburst is heavy. If the tension had been thick before, it’s now so hard you can barely cut it with a knife. You try to regulate your staccato breaths, try not to let your body take over your mind as you focus on breathing in, breathing out, breathing in. Breathing out. Just like that.
Calm. Like water. Like you’re a river that never stops.
“Just go, Minho,” your words are bitter. You can barely look his way, an overwhelming surge of irritation, guilt and hurt swimming through you.
Thankfully, the young man seems just as surprised as you are and leaves without even a backward glance. That’s when you finally cave in and allow your legs to crumble to your floor. Pressing your head against the door, your body instantly gives into the sadness that crumbles through you like used up tissue, soaking in all the tears that are suddenly cascading down your cheeks without restraint.
You cry yourself to sleep that night.
———
“Minho, I’m really sorry about my behaviour.”
You stare.
Your reflection stares back.
Shit. This doesn’t feel right. You close your eyes, exhale a soft breath, and open them once more only to find a set of familiar brown eyes gazing back at you.
It’s just the day after Christmas and though the majority of your friends were still off campus, you’re well aware that a certain Korean young man has decidedly stayed back because of his mother’s offshoot shooting commercial.
However, you still hadn’t gotten the guts to go back and ask him for a formal apology yet. Did you even need one when he’d been the one prodding you with a stick like he would with a nest of aggressive bees?
Oh well. You decided you’d be the bigger person and make the first move. As always.
So you look back to your reflection with renewed determination, take a deep breath before forcing the words out, “I am really sorry for my shitty behaviour, Minho, I should’ve—no,” you shake your head, start again and clasp your hands together for good measure, “I’m really sorry if I offended you in any way, I was hurt—no. God. I sound so pathetic.” You can’t help but curse at the mirror.
Inhale. Exhale. Deep breath. And you try once more, this time adding a small smile.
“I’m really sorry for everything that I said. I was being a bit insensitive and wasn’t in the right headspace—“ you break off with a frustrated snarl, “god! Why is it so hard to apologize to the dude?!”
“The dude’s standing right here.”
Shocked, you swivel around only to find none other than the said question in person leaning against your doorway, eyebrows raised and a semblance of a smirk lining his lips.
“M—Minho,” you feel like slapping yourself for sounding like a stuttering goldfish. Quickly, your hands smooth down your sweater, hiding them in the big bell sleeves as your eyes find everything — anything, to get off his face, “what—what are you doing here?”
“I was looking for you, actually.”
“Why?”
You’re still not looking, deciding that the faint crack in your dorm room is much more interesting.
Minho’s footsteps approach as he strides close, close enough that you get a whiff of his expensive cologne and restrain yourself from sighing out loud.
The bastard smells too good, you feel like crying.
“Why?” He scoffs, “isn’t it obvious?”
“Not really.”
“Alright. Fine,” you’re still not looking at him, which is why you almost jump out of your skin the moment you feel the gentlest graze of his fingertips at your jaw.
“Wha—“ you stutter, eyes flashing up to his on instinct.
Dark brown meets swirls of maroon. You almost lose your breath.
In the mid-morning light with sunshine falling over half of his face, Minho looks like he’d just walked out of some fashion magazine.
“What are you…doing?” You manage to murmur out. Barely.
It’s hard to concentrate when he’s right there, in your personal space, looking a little too dashing for his own good.
“You’re right. I was being a selfish dick to you two days ago,” his grip on your chin is firm, his dark eyes even firmer, “so I’m sorry if you took it the wrong way.”
You laugh, “wait—is Minho actually apologizing? To me?”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“But this is a legendary moment,” you fake a mocking gasp at him, “I should record this right now.”
“Don’t make me regret it, Y/N.”
Chuckling, your eyes crinkle up as you allow yourself to roam over his features, “okay okay, I’ll stop.”
Minho fidgets and doesn’t say anything back. Weird, considering that he has a comeback for everything. You feel his hand drop from your chin as he takes a step back, lips pressed together and face looking like he’s uncomfortable being here.
Do you make him uncomfortable? It’s not a sight you’re used to seeing. Something tugs at your heartstrings but you try and ignore it.
“What is it?” You ask instead.
“There is…” his eyes dart away, “something I need to tell you.”
“About?”
His hand drops. Instantly, cold swoops in.
“About me. And you.”
You squint, “Minho I swear, if this is one of your stupid jokes again—“
“I like you.”
You blink.
He gazes back. His eyes. They’re gazing straight at you. Focused. Intense. Hot.
So hot it causes a flame to burst in your chest.
Wait…your mind backtracks, what?
“You—“ your mouth opens. Closes. Opens once more, "I'm sorry--what?"
His eyes answer in his stead. Dark orbs swirling with a depth that makes your skin explode in goosebumps. You realize, all too soon, how close you are, how -- if you want -- you can diminish the space between just with one single step forward.
"I like you," he says it honestly. Somehow, you relish in the way he says it. Clear and transparent. No inside games, no beating around the bush, "maybe more than a little."
You sense a but. "And?"
He rolls his eyes, "and maybe I just don't know how to show it."
"You mean, acting like a five year old boy who bullies his crush for fun because he likes her?"
"Something like that."
"Okay," you drag out the word in hopes that it will hide the way your heart suddenly skips a beat, the way your legs feel weaker at the knees, "so what--what now?"
"Well, that's the part where you tell me you like me back--" Minho catches himself upon seeing you raise a brow at him, "--or not. Your choice, your rules, doll."
Doll? You can feel the flame bursting through your chest and squeezing your heart. It aches so much it hurts, though it seems that your smile can't help tugging at the corners of your lips as you watch him and despite his seeming nonchalance about the whole matter, there's the slightest sheen of pink that gives him away.
Cute. Your brain chants.
"Well," you tilt your chin up in what you hope is a confident manner, "you normally take a girl out to dinner first."
"Is that a yes?" Minho smirks.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes, yes I heard alright. Fine," he sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, "tomorrow night. Dinner. Be ready by six. I'll pick you up."
"Tomorrow? But wait I--"
"You better be there, doll."
And with that, he swivels on his feet and walk away while whistling a soft tune, leaving your heart flooded with a tide of mixed emotions that erupt through your chest and butterflies running along your skin.
---
Minho: I'll come pick you up by six. Be ready then. Wear something cute but casual. Nothing fancy.
Y/N: i like how you're telling me how to dress up when you're the one who's supposes to be wooing me.
Minho: oh you don't have to worry about that.
The way he replies so smoothly has goosebumps running along the back of your neck and you squeeze your hands into fists. You're still sitting on your bed, trying to digest all this new information as another flurry of messages burst through your phone, probably fron Kitty's latest reaction your news.
Kitty: what?! Minho?! And you?! He asked you out?!!! Omg how did I not see this coming!!!
Y/N: i thought you were a matchmaker.
Kitty: well YEAH before he went and ruined it!!! Anyway, what are you WEARING?!
Y/N: i have absolutely no idea. He said something cute but casual, so I'm guessing there's not gonna be any fancy dinners or anything.
Kitty: omg!! Minho and casual doesn't sound right. Maybe he really is trying to woo you!!
Y/N: should I wear shorts? Pants? A skirt?
Kitty: definitely no pants. Maybe that cute skater skirt you wore to Yuri's party last semester?
So you do. The skirt's baby blue colour contrasts well with the simple white tshirt you decided to wear with it, and throwing on a beige cardigan and some white sneakers complete the look. You add a small blue bow into your hair to match, and take one last look at yourself in hopes that you're looking exactly how Minho wants you to--
No. That's the wrong way to go about it. Minho likes you. Yes. You. Not the girls he's always so uses to seeing. You don't have to impress him.
That’s how you meet him right outside your door, with your newly-found resolve as you catch the simple white tee and ripped jeans, hair styled just the way he likes it, just enough to make every woman’s heart swoon.
His eyes do a once-over, “not bad, Y/N. You clean up nice.”
“Not bad?” You scoff, “I’m sure there are much better adjectives to use.”
He grins, “we’ll see.”
Minho brings you over to the Han river by electric scooter, with you standing in front and holding on to the handlebars as he guides you across the street even though it’s technically illegal for people to do such a thing. But with the wind in your hair and Minho’s warmth at your back, you don’t find yourself complaining.
“Han river?” You raise a brow at him as he parks and pays for his e-scooter ride, “really? So cliche.”
“The Han River is a classic,” he looks at you pointedly, “and I’ll have you know, I’ve never brought anyone here before.”
“Ooh, does that mean anything?” You wriggle your brows and he scoffs, looks away, “shut up.”
You weren’t expecting him, of all people, to be a fan of romantic gestures such as this. But when he parks his scooter in favor of walking alongside you by the trail — even with his multiple complaints about the dirt being too dirty and people needing to revisit their wardrobe fashion — you can’t help but wonder how much effort he’s putting into just being with you. Because knowing Minho, walking on crushed grass and having his shoes in dirt is quite a big deal.
“Look, do you want to be swooned or not?” He replies when you ask him the question, even looks offended that you’d dared ask such a thing, “I thought girls loved it when boys brought them here.”
“Yes I know that,” your grin is so wide that you’re surprised it hasn’t broken your face in two yet, “and don’t get me wrong. I love it, but I never thought you—of all people — would bring me here, of all places. It’s just not…”
“Not what?” He scowls.
“Just not you,” you confess, and then, seeing that his frown seems to take a permanent fixture on his face, you quickly add, “so the fact that you’re doing it…thanks. It means…something. You know?”
Heat springs through your cheeks at the sudden confession and you quickly look away, anywhere, but not before glancing at Minho to see that he has a faint smile dancing across his lips.
As the evening wears on, you get to talk about everything and anything; from worries about your future and the rigorous routine of adult life, about which game box is better and which restaurant serves the best korean noodles, which Minho argues does not exist, considering that every single noodle joint in Seoul is a pro in making them.
"We're the city of noodles and gimbap, obviously there's more than one good noodle stop."
"You speak like someone who hasn't tasted Uncle Cha's food yet. You know, the snack from across the road to campus."
Minho's nose wrinkles, "nah I'm good--"
"Oh no you don't," you grab onto his arm before he has a chance to run away, "nu-uh. Let's go get them right now, actually."
Surprisingly awed by Cha's cuisine, Minho has no other choice than to grumble out a faint agreement. It's no secret that it makes your day.
"But the environment--" Minho shudders, "I think I saw a cockcroach scuttling about in there."
“Oh yeah,” you let your eyes follow the wall and trail back up to him, pointing at his face, “there’s one.”
Shoving you playfully, he pulls out his tongue in such a childish manner you can’t help but burst out laughing.
You decide to take the walk back along the Han River even if it makes a detour, stopping by a coffee shop to grab some hot chocolate. The city lights now illuminate the city like stars scraping the earth’s surface and you can’t help but feel amazed by how beautiful the scenery is, with the wind trickling through your hair and soft music from busking sessions in the background.
“I’ve never actually walked along the Han River before,” you confess to him as you gaze down at the black waters sloshing against the river edge, “thanks, Minho.”
He has the look of a satisfied five year old child who got a gold star for his best behaviour, “you’re welcome.”
“Who knew you’d be the one to bring me here?” You jostle his shoulder playfully before taking a sip of your hot chocolate.
“What’s that you’re implying?” He frowns.
“That you’ve surprised me and my expectations.”
“And that’s supposed to be a compliment?” He looks horrified and dramatic, “you’re harsh, Y/N. I’ll have you know, I haven’t—“ he stops himself just in time for you to swoop in and push, “yeah? You haven’t what?”
“Nevermind,” he sips his own drink and you notice the way his ears have turned red.
You giggle, “tell me, have you gone on dates before?”
“Wha—of course I have! What kind of question is that?!” You keep on laughing and laughing at his face, shaking your head as you try and muffle your chuckles the best you can, “oh god—oh my god, you never have. It’s written all over your face—“
“You talk too much,” he mutters into his drink and turns away from you, ears as red as a fire engine.
You nudge him, smiling, loving that side of him that he’s never really shown anyone before. Because you all know the cool, confident Minho. But this, this side of Minho is uncharted territory.
And you’re all here for it.
“Why not, though?”
His eyes narrow as he looks back at you, “what?”
“Why haven’t you brought anyone out before?’ You fidget with your cup, glad that it’s warming your hands so you can busy yourself with something, “because I’ve seen you, with different types of girls. All the time—“
“Yeah that didn’t mean anything.”
“But you still went out with them.”
“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?”
“What?” Heat flushes through you, “no, I just—“
That’s when you feel it. His hand, fluttering up to yours. He pries your hold from your cup gently before bringing it down between you, fingers entangling with yours like they’re meant to be there in the first place.
And when your eyes flutter to lock onto his, there’s liquid warmth in those pools of brown, a tenderness you’ve seldom seen before.
“This is new too,” he murmurs then, “all of this.”
Your heart skips a beat. There are no words to be said.
You swallow thickly, look away, and don’t miss the soft chuckle that falls from his lips as he keeps swinging your hands back and forth between you, his smile a permanent fixture on his face. One that your lips mirror faintly as you keep walking back towards your dorms in comforting silence.
———
“Was that romantic enough for you?”
Minho’s question is met with a chuckle from your part as you finally reach your dormitory. A few stray students are still studying deep into the night, some already asleep on the deep blue couches in the common room as you make your way through, hands still entertained from earlier.
Your heart has been skipping and rollerblading into ecstasy ever since.
“Hmm,” you hum, even tilting your head in thought, “guess so. Though if I had any complaints—“
“You wouldn’t tell me, because there aren’t any,” Minho finishes for you, “right?”
“Oh i have plenty, but I’ll keep it for another time,” you flash him a mischievous smile. You’ve reached your corridor by that time, your words causing Minho to shoot you a suggestive look.
“another time?” He repeats with a cock of his brow.
You bite your lip and look away to avoid the fact that there’s a faint, yet growing smile on your face, “yeah. Maybe.”
The said young man’s lips pulls into a small smile, “I can work with that.” He murmurs, and something warm pools in the middle of your chest.
It’s hard to control yourself around Minho especially when he’s not being a little shit. Because the fact is; he’s very enticingly charming and likable.
“Well, that’s me,” you’ve reached your door then, glad that for once your dorm room is free of activity since both your roommates have gone home for the Christmas season, and turn towards Minho.
“Thanks you, for tonight,” your cheeks are warm with heat but you can’t resist grinning up at him, “I had more fun than expected.”
Minho sucks in a dramatic breath, “wow. I think i finally got a compliment out of your mouth.”
“Trust me, that’s me being nice.”
“I know,” he flashes a grin at you and before you know it, his arm has gone up to press against the doorway, caging you in and suddenly making you feel smaller than you are already. His body heat rolls into you in waves, the scent of his boyish cologne making you dizzy as your body leans into him unconsciously.
“So,” he breathes. He’s so close, so close that if you move just a little, your noses would brush, “since I’ve taken you out on a date, do I get to kiss you now?”
Air stills in your lungs. Your teeth find your lower lip.
“It depends,” your whisper is so soft he barely catches it, too enthralled by the way your mouth curves and moves with the words, “will you take me out again?”
“If her highness wishes,” Minho chuckles, tilting his head so that your noses brush. Electricity zaps through your body, goosebumps raising at the back of your neck, “I’ll take you wherever you want.”
Your eyes lock. There’s warmth, want. Desire swimming through his own pools of brown.
“Sounds like a promise,” you breathe, “so when will that—“
“Y/N.”
The way he says your name has a knot tightening in your stomach. Your body tenses in anticipation.
He’s gazing at you as if he’s only just seeing you. His lips are so close, you can feel his breaths on your lips. Hot against cold. He smells divine.
You’re so lost in your own daydream that you respond a few seconds late, “y-yeah?”
“Do me a favor?”
One hand cradles your cheek. You freeze.
“Hm?”
“Stop talking.”
And before you can do anything else, his mouth presses against yours.
Fireworks explode. Behind your eyelids. Through your body. Blood races and your brain goes fuzzy with want and desire as Minho’s other hand wraps around your waist to tug you in, his other hand clasping your jaw firmly as he kisses you. Once. Twice. He’s a good kisser, yet so gentle and tentative.
You’re taken by surprise for a few seconds, before you finally melt into him and kiss him back. A sigh escapes you as your hands go up to wrap around his neck, and the groan of satisfaction he lets out makes your entire nerves buzz with delight.
Tilting his head to the side to kiss you deeper, longer, you let out a gasp against his mouth as he pulls you even closer still, as if he can’t get enough of you. You haven’t realized you’re pressed to the door until your back meets the hard wood underneath and you yelp softly at the way his tongue swipes over your bottom lip to ask for entrance.
He kisses you softly, yet so firmly as if you’re the only thing keeping him alive, satiated. His hand at your hip moves up, tracing the back of your spine, the side of your rib cage before brushing against the corner of your bra and making you squirm while your hands curl into his hair. You tug, causing a grumble to echo out of Minho’s chest. His tongue darts in and you part for him like melted butter so that he can kiss you and ravage you without restraint.
Everything falls away, with only Minho being your anchor. You smell him, feel him against you, and want nothing else other than the dizzying rush that makes your stomach erupt with fireflies.
Your mouths part with a pop and he takes this chance to nip at your jaw, littering kisses down your neck before suckling on a soft patch of skin. Your body reacts instantly, curving into him as your lips part in a soft, minuscule moan. That’s enough to snap him back to attention.
He gazes up at you, chest heaving and all heavy breaths. His lips are swollen and red and just so beautiful. Hair tousled like he’s just tumbled out of bed and you quickly decide that’s the look you love best on him.
The curfew bell sounds and he curses.
“Minho,” you murmur when he leans in, noses brushing to capture your lips into his once more. You sigh, eyes falling shut as he takes your next set of words away.
It’s almost as if he’s drunk on you, as if he just can’t get enough.
The thought makes you shiver. Your heart swells with emotion.
“Minho,” you murmur once more against his lips. He groans, pulls away onto to bury his face into your neck and humming, “yeah?”
“Curfew’s in two minutes.”
“I know,” he’s pressing open-mouthed kisses over your collarbone and you can’t help but whimper and cradling his head closer to you despite trying to make sense of your thoughts.
“Y—You should go,” you stutter out but it’s almost like you’re talking to yourself. He’s clearly in his own world, suckling onto your skin and leaving purple marks to claim you as his. He pulls away, groaning appreciatively at the sight you make.
“Do I really have to go?” His dark eyes — darker than you’ve ever seen them — flickers over your features. There’s a kind of hunger to them that makes you shiver.
“Yes,” you stammer out, heart almost bursting out of your chest when the boy merely tugs you close before he rests his head atop yours. He holds you, breaths you in, and your eyes close on their own accord, taking in the moment like it’s the last.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” his whisper grazes the shell of your ear and you shiver. He pulls back and there’s the kind of crooked smile that makes your heart tighten, “goodnight, Y/N.”
“Good night, Minho,” you murmur and dropping a last kiss atop your temple, you watch him walk away, raising a salute with his hand as he does so.
———
A/N: GAHHH IDK WHAT I WROTE AND I GAVE UP AT THE END I HOPE IT’S ALRIGHT BUT ANYWAY I’VE BEEN OBSSESSED WITH MINHO THESE DAYS.
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janeyseymour · 6 months
Text
Won't You Be... My Neighbor?- pt 1
@schemmentis threw out the idea of a reversal of LTN, so... here it is. I hope it delivers.
WC: ~3.3k
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When Melissa Schemmenti had said “for better or for worse, til death do us part,” she had wholeheartedly meant it and believed it. She had seen the way that her parents had fallen out of love and divorced, and she swore that she would learn from their mistakes and find a real and true love- that she would fight for her love and her life, and that she would never end up the bitter divorcée like her mother, cursing the father of her child in front of said child. 
But here she was doing everything she promised herself she wouldn’t and packing her bags along with her son’s after she caught Joe in bed with his babysitter. And then he had the audacity to tell her that they needed to divorce- that he was in love with Alyssa and couldn’t keep this charade going.
“Fuckin’ asshole,” Melissa grumbles as she hold her son on her hip. “Sleeping with the nanny… fuckin’ babysitter fucker.”
“Momma.”
“I’m sorry Joey,” the redhead mumbles as she presses a kiss to the little boy’s head. She curses the day she let her idiot of a husband convince her to name their son after him. “I’m sorry… Momma’s just… mad.”
“Really mad?” the newly four year old asks.
Melissa just nods once before continuing to pack their bags.
“Momma?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re getting out of here,” the teacher sighs. “Daddy decided that we aren’t good enough for him anymore, and you know what? We’re better than him… so we’re leaving, and we’re goin’ to be real happy.”
The last thing that she packs before they leave for the night is the divorce papers. She shows up at Kristen Marie’s doorstep praying that her sister will be kind enough to let the two Schemmenti’s stay on her couch.
“Melissa? Joey?”
“Please don’t say his name,” Melissa groans as she rubs at her temple with the hand not holding her four year old. “I- I can’t right now without wanting to take my bat to that rat bastard’s car.”
“Rat bastard?” Joey echoes through a yawn. He reaches over for his aunt.
“Don’t repeat what Momma just said,” the blonde Schemmenti sister sighs as she takes the little boy into her arms. “What happened, Mel?”
“Asshole slept with the nanny, and then even after I forgave him for the sake of our son handed me divorce papers at dinner,” the redhead huffs. “Can we crash here on the couch for the night? If I have to look at him one more time tonight…”
“Stay as long as you need,” Kristen tells her sister as she roams further into her townhouse. “And you damn well know I ain’t letting you sleep on the couch when I have a perfectly good guest room.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” Melissa sighs softly. “Thank you.”
That was three months ago. In those three months, Joe had promised to give Melissa absolute hell when it came to the divorce and settling everything, claiming that Joe Jr. needed to be with his father. The redhead was adamant that their son, who she now called strictly “JJ”, would be staying with her. This divorce was getting intense and messy, and everything that the second grade teacher had hoped it wouldn’t be- but when there’s a small child involved, of course it would get messy.
In those three months though, the Schemmenti sisters had used their powers of knowing many different guys who were able to help throw together a decently sized apartment for cheap, and she was able to get a steal in terms of rent.
The two had just finished setting up JJ’s bedroom when Kristen Marie finally called it a day. And that leaves Melissa and her son. Her son who is absolutely starving and exhausted and not yet used to this new place that he was supposed to call home.
“Love,” the redhead sighs as she tries to soothe his wailing. The second grade teacher is positive that this place had thin walls, and her neighbors are going to hate her if he continued to cry like this.
“I want to go home!” JJ cries into his mother’s shoulder.
Melissa lets out a shaky breath. “This is home now.”
“No!” his little balled up fist collides with his mother’s shoulder blade. It takes everything in the redhead to not groan out in pain.
“JJ,” Melissa warns. “We do not hit Momma.”
“I don’t care!” he shouts as he does it again.
“Joseph Alexander,” the mother says sternly. She hates that her son shares a first name with his father, even more so now that they’re in the midst of a dirvorce.
The redhead closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Maybe we need to go on a walk. What do you think? I think that sounds like a great idea,” she thinks aloud. The woman knows that walking around with him while humming softly is almost a sure fire way to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep for at least thirty minutes while she makes dinner, and it has been the perfect way to lull him to sleep since he was born.
She steps out into the hallway and begins to bounce him gently as she walks up and down the hallway, mindlessly singing her favorite tunes softly. When she starts to sing “You Are My Sunshine” though, something else takes over in her body, and she can’t help the tears that form in her eyes. They fall down her cheeks so delicately, and with her son in her arms, she is unable wipe them away. There’s something different about the song now that her marriage had turned into a failed one, and Joe is truly trying to take her little boy, her sunshine, away.
And that’s when you just so happen to be making your way out of your own apartment from down the hall. You immediately hear the soft and sad tune that you’ve had memorized since you were little, and your gaze follows the voice. Your eyes land on a stunning redhead that you’ve never seen before who is holding a now sleeping little boy- and then you see that her eyes are sparkling with tears. Deciding not to overstep and say anything when it looks like this woman is clearly in distress, you simply wave at her gently with an encouraging smile before heading for the elevator.
Once Melissa is sure that JJ is out for at least a little bit, she heads back into the apartment and sets him on the couch. The mother drapes a blanket over her dozing son before pressing a soft kiss to his chubby little cheek and making her way into the kitchen.
It’s much later when you return back from the gym and freshen up in the shower. As you go to sit on the couch with a glass of wine to unwind for the night, you frown. Maybe you should check on that neighbor of yours. You’re familiar with everyone else who lives on your floor, so you know which door to knock on in order to find that beautiful emerald-eyed woman from earlier in the evening with a second glass of wine in hand to offer to the woman that you don’t know the name of.
Inside the apartment, Melissa is sitting on her new couch with a bowl of popcorn and a rather heavy pour of red wine as she watches her reality television show that she hasn’t had time to watch in the midst of the move. 
Your knock startles her. It’s loud enough to get her attention, and she grabs the bat that sits next to her for protection. She approaches the door with her bat in hand.
“Who is it?” the redhead yells just loud enough for you to hear, but not loud enough to wake the little boy in the other room.
“You the woman that just moved in?” you call back.
“What’s it to you?!” she asks, and her grip on the bat just gets tighter, although she knows it’s probably nothing worth worrying about. Your voice was light and sweet, even at the volume you were using.
“Saw you had a kid. Was wondering if you needed help with anything. You looked real stressed.”
At that, she opens the door just a crack, and she recognizes you as the woman she saw a few hours earlier. Her bat lowers, and she opens it a bit more.
“The help would’ve been nice while I was moving in,” she retorts.
“Trust me, if I were around this last week, I would’ve offered to help,” you sigh softly. “Away for work… but it’s nice to meet you now.” You offer her the glass of rosé wine that you had brought from down the hall.
“I’m already ahead of you there,” she sighs with a bitter chuckle. “Thank you though.”
“Yeah,” you laugh softly as you tuck a hair behind your ear. Now that you can see her up close and personal, you see that she really is stunning- beautiful red hair, sparkling jade colored eyes, straight teeth, and you would be lying if you hadn’t stolen a glance at her figure. “I thought it might be a nice way to introduce myself and welcome you to the second floor. If I- If I had anything for your little boy, I would’ve brought it over too, but I wasn’t aware that the new neighbor had a little boy.”
She purses her lips. “You don’t gotta act like you care about the new neighbors.”
“I don’t,” you give her that. “But I always go out of my way to try to make the newbies feel welcome- especially when I see that the new neighbor is upset in the hallway with her little boy on my way to the gym.”
That gets Melissa’s false bravado to break just slightly. “Sorry if that disturbed you. It’s the only way I can get him to go down for a nap when he’s like this- all riled up from the move.” 
You just raise a hand and shake your head gently. “No need to apologize. Your singing is a lot less disturbing than the sex I can hear my other neighbors having.”
The redhead can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous comment you just made. “I more meant his crying.”
“Little kids cry- my sister’s kid cries all the time. I’m used to it,” you chuckle softly. “Now seriously, do you need anything? How can I help?”
“I think I’m okay,” she tells you. “But I do appreciate the check in… Sorry I approached the door with a bat.”
You wave a hand in dismissal. “I get it. Being in West Philly by yourself as a woman can be scary- I have to admit I would’ve done the same thing.”
She just smirks at you.
“Well,” you sigh. “Have a good rest of your night, neighbor. Welcome to the second floor.”
You turn on your heel and start to head back down to your own apartment when her voice stops you. “Wait!” You turn back to face her. “I- I never got your name.”
“Y/N,” you smile at her.
“M- Melissa,” is all the redhead can stammer out as she takes a moment to memorize the name to the face. “And my son is JJ.”
“Well, it was really nice to meet you, Melissa. If you need me, I’m just two doors down at 208. Don’t be a stranger,” you wink at her before heading back into your own apartment.
The redhead stands there for a second, not quite knowing how to feel about you. You’re odd- the only Philadelphian who has given her the time of day, and then you wink at her? It’s different, and entirely the opposite of how most Philadelphians are, and somehow, she’s intrigued by you.
It’s the next day when you’re heading back from work that you stop at the Target on your way home to pick up groceries. When you pass the children’s section, you pause before turning your cart down that way. You throw a thing of Play-doh in before continuing down. If you run into Melissa today, you’ll give it to her for her son.
You do end up running into her as she’s trying to unlock her door. She has her son on her hip again, but she’s on the phone this time. She’s shouting into the phone as you pass her with the bags you’ve brought up. You dig through your bags before you hand her the little container filled with the clay for JJ, and she gives you an odd look. You just nod and smile before making your way into your apartment and unloading your groceries. 
When there’s a knock on your door, you jump just slightly as you pull the handmade pizza out of the oven. You set the dinner on the stove before making your way over to the front door. You glance out of your peephole, and there is Melissa with JJ on her hip and giggling with glee as he plays with the Playdoh you bought for him.
“Hey,” you open the door with a smile.
“We thought we would just stop by and say thank you,” the woman bounces the little boy on her hip gently. He giggles, but his eyes don’t leave his hands. “JJ, say thank you to Miss Y/N.”
“Thank you!” he grins as his eyes finally leave the dough in his hands.
Your smile only gets softer as you see how adorable the little guy is. “You’re so welcome. I’m glad you like it!”
“Like it?! I love it!” JJ squeals and kicks his legs with glee. “It’s my favorite color too! How did you know I loved blue?!”
“Thank you,” Melissa tells you gently. “You really didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t have to,” you shrug. “But I wanted to.”
The emerald-eyed woman doesn’t quite know what else to say, so there’s a bit of an awkward silence that washes over the two of you.
“Would you two like to come in for dinner? I made homemade pizza,” you offer, hoping to cut the tension and perhaps get to spend a bit of time with your new neighbors from down the hall.
“Pizza?!” JJ’s eyes light up at the word.
Melissa looks down at her son. “Baby, I thought you wanted pasta.”
“But Momma, pizza!” he shouts with enthusiasm.
Green eyes meet yours, as if she’s trying to find whatever game your playing. But you look genuine with your invite. “Are you sure we wouldn’t be intruding?”
“Positive,” you tell her softly. “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure.”
Dinner is nice. Melissa is guarded at first, but her walls slowly come down as she truly sees that you have no malicious intention inviting her and her son in. JJ adores you immediately, telling his mother that he’s never had such good pizza. She has to admit too, your pizza is one of the best she’s had. She doesn’t know that your cousin owns a shop down the street, and you’ve tweaked his recipe to be better than the pies he sells.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” you chuckle softly as you start to clean up the meal. Then you glance to his mother. “Care for another glass of wine?”
“As much as I would love to,” she sighs. “I’ve gotta get my little man to get bed.”
“Ah, yes,” you smile. “I totally understand. Well, thanks for coming over.”
“Thank you for having us,” the redhead says genuinely as she wipes the four year old’s face clean of the sauce that’s spread all over. She wipes his hands, and then holds out her own for him to take.
He doesn’t take her hand though, and he instead runs over to you and hugs your leg. Your hand immediately goes to his back and pats it gently with the softest smile on your face.
“Thank you, Miss Y/N.” JJ looks up with you, and his eyes sparkle the way his mother’s do.
“Of course, sweetheart,” you tell him gently, voice warm and smooth like butter. You crouch down to his height and hug him properly.
Melissa watches the two of you with a bit of a twinkle in her eye. She’s in awe of how well you handle him. You’re definitely younger than her, but you have such a way with JJ- maybe it’s because you have a niece or a nephew, she remembers.
You give him one last gentle squeeze before letting him go. “I think your momma’s waitin’ for you, hun.”
He giggles before running over to the redhead and lifting his arms up with a soft request for, “Uppy.” Of course, the mother settles him on her hip with ease, and she tosses a thank you over her shoulder as she makes her way towards your front door. Something stops her though, and she turns back around into the kitchen where you’re washing dishes.
“If you want, you can pop over any time after 7:30 for a glass of wine,” she tells you. “JJ will be down for the night by then.”
“I’ll see you at eight,” you tell her softly, and you wink at her again. 
As Melissa tucks her son in for the night, she can’t help but wonder if you’ll show. There’s a big part of her that hopes that you’ll make your way down the hall, although she can’t quite place why she’s taken such an interest in you. She indeed has taken up an interest in you- you’re meek and mild, a sweet lady who has nothing but the best intentions from what she can see (and that’s quite hard for her to not be pessimistic about you, but you’ve managed to make her believe that you might just be good at the root of it all). You’re completely the opposite of her ex-husband and entirely not her type.
And at eight o’clock sharp, you show up at her door, a bottle of wine in hand.
“Hey,” you sigh softly when she opens the door for you. “I brought wine.”
“Wine’s on me, hun,” the redhead rolls her eyes. “You make dinner on a night where I really didn’t want to cook, so I provide the drinks after. What do you like?”
You shrug. “I’ll drink whatever.”
She pours a glass of red- and while you aren’t necessarily a fan of any type of red blend, you take it and sip on it. It tastes much better when it comes from someone as beautiful as her. 
“So,” you start as you settle on her couch. “Do you wanna talk about that rather heated phone call I caught you in the middle of earlier today?”
She closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath.
“Hey,” you say gently, and you reach a hand out to lay over hers. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, we don’t gotta.”
“Shit soon-to-be ex-husband,” is all she says, and you immediately understand. The frown that washes over your face is one that you can’t hide.
“I’m sorry,” you tell her immediately.
She shrugs. “Caught him fucking the babysitter. He handed me the divorce papers three months ago, and now I’m in a damn custody battle over my son… like hell is he going to get JJ.”
“Custody battle?”
“Yeah,” the redhead groans. “And my lawyer is taking his sweet ol’ time, so right now, I’m shit out of luck.”
“I- I may be able to help you with that one,” you tell her. Her brows raise, and that’s when you reveal what you do for a profession. “I’m a lawyer… specifically in family court.”
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A Brother for Cyril
Alfie Solomons x Wife!Reader, fluff
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733 words; Alfie is tricked into getting you a new dog...and it's all Thomas Shelby's fault.
Warnings: Swearing.
“Now Tommy… what the hell is that?”
“It’s a dog Alfie. A very sweet dog that you will love.”
“You silly boy that is not a dog. That thing is a rat. Cyril, now that’s a dog yeah? That thing is smaller than my boot, and I can’t even see it’s rat face. There’s nothing there. It’s a ball of hair.”
“Well it is a puppy Alfie. And it isn’t a rat, they call it a shi tzu. All the finest ladies have one.”
“...Are you trying to tell me something Tommy?”
Tommy Shelby rolled his eyes, “I’m trying to give you the dog. Lizzie refused to take it and Polly doesn’t want animals in the house. So I thought, ‘Hey. Mrs. Solomons is a beautiful woman, and Alfie could probably use help spoiling his wife.’ You’re welcome Alfie.” 
Alfie leaned forward, with an accusing finger twitching at Tommy, “Listen to me yeah? Don’t talk about my wife, in fact don’t even think about Mrs. Solomons alright? That woman is an angel, and there is nothing holy that goes around that twisted little mind of yours. Now, regarding the… thing. I can assure you that Mrs. Solomons will not want -”
“What won’t I want darling?”
Both men have their heads snap to you in the doorway, with a soft smile on your lips, and a curious twinkle in your eye. Alfie quickly looked at the clock, 2 p.m, he should have been home an hour ago for lunch with you. Despite Alfie’s insistence that you don’t come to the office on weekends, even when he was here, he knew that you would always disobey to come fetch him. Before Alfie could say anything to you about going back home with Ollie, Thomas Shelby beat him to the punch, “Alfie was just saying how you will not ever want to be parted with this… adorable little animal.” Thomas held up the small ball of fur, as little whimpers began to emanate from the puppy. 
“Oh my goodness Alfie you shouldn’t have! Oh darling he is precious! What a sweet precious baby! Oh now Cyril will have a little brother won’t he! Alfie you spoil me so, thank you so much darling!” You immediately took the little dog into your arms, pressing kisses to the top of it’s head, and the dog nuzzled its small face into your chest, soon falling into comfortable sleep. 
Alfie stared at you, mouth agape. For someone who could be so vicious with her words when the occasion called for it, you really babied the animals you came across. You walked behind the desk to kiss Alfie tenderly, “I was so upset that you didn’t come home for lunch, I’m so sorry my love, I didn’t realize that you were picking up such a darling little thing.”
As you kissed his cheek, Thomas Shelby smirked in the face of Alfie’s scowl. Once again, Thomas Shelby had manipulated the situation to his benefit, and now Alfie was left with this… dog. A happy wife too.. But also another dog that Cyril could eat. But how could he say no to you when you were so incandessently happy and kissing him the way you were? “That’s right my darling I was bringing you a gift, and you are most right, Cyril does need a brother to look after, earn his keep yeah? Now my dear, what do you think you’re going to name him?”
“Hmmm, he does look like a Bartholomew to me. And we can call him Barty for short.” 
Thomas began to cover his mouth to smother his laughter, a ridiculous name for such a runt. But Alfie just scowled at him, if you gave the name it was perfect, “A wonderful name treacle. Now let’s get home and introduce the boys to each other yeah? Tommy? Get the fuck out, I’m taking my wife home. Ollie!? Get the car we’re going home.” 
As Alfie wrapped his arm around you to lead you out with him, you turned your head to look over Alfie’s shoulder at Tommy, “Goodbye Mr. Shelby! See you soon! Give your Aunt Polly my love.”
Tommy tipped his hat with a smile, “Goodbye Mrs. Solomons, a pleasure as always. Enjoy Barty. See you Monday Alfie.”
Alfie just grunted and pulled you closer, wanting to get away from the thorn in his side. 
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