#i love so many swear words though like i truly think swearing is one of the greatest facets of language and i mean that genuinely

[hella1975]

Hella whats your favorite swear word

cunt is like a sister to me

[kookslastbutton]

what love feels like ༓ myg (m)

✑ Summary: Being a mother to a beautiful baby girl and wife to an adoring husband is the most rewarding feeling in the world. But you also work a full-time job, are overtired most of the time, stressed, don't have any alone time, look very different than eight years ago, and sex? Well, that hasn’t happened in weeks. The gravity of the situation weighs on you until one day, all of your deepest insecurities rear their ugly head–that your husband might not love you as much anymore and someone could take him away from you.

Pairing: husband!yoongi x reader

AU/genre: angst, fluff, smut, marriage au

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 6.7k+

Warnings: swearing, both Yoongi and oc are in their 30s, mom and full-time worker!oc, reserved!dad!yoongi, lack of intimacy, mentions of body insecurities post-pregnancy, mentions of fear of abandonment, mentions of jealousy. irrational worries, built-up stress, light fighting, silent treatment, stubbornness, lots of reassurance, nightmares, cute backstory of how they met, a lot of ily, Yoongi and oc being good parents 🥹, Yoongi calls oc doll, and explicit sexual content

sexual warnings: swearing, kissing, neck kisses, pleading, banter, dirty talk, doll petname, asking for consent, b**b squeezing & sucking, hair threading, penetration, f*ngering, big d*ck!yoongi, growling, missi*nary, eye contact, tearing up, c*ming together

Now Playing: Breathing by Anne Marie

a/n: Okay this was for Yoon's bday. Based on the poll, husband!Yoon won. Was intended to be a Drabble but well...heh 😅 Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this fic and Yoon is just such a good hubby for responding well to these very relatable insecurities. (Low-key love this couple...) I'm sorry for any typos or warnings i missed! I checked and double checked but a few might have slipped. Enjoy! Anyway please enjoy! 🥰

“So, you're Jia's father, huh? I don’t think I've seen you here before, and I’m sure I would have recognized you.”

With his back straight and arms folded, Yoongi gives the woman in front of him a quick once-over. Mid-40s, freshly single, and definitely in need of some companionship. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out; she’s been talking his ear off for the past twenty minutes like he’s some kind of remedy to all her problems.

Honestly, he just swung by to pick up his four-year-old from daycare after another grueling day at work. But the moment he walked in, it was as if all the single moms latched onto him like a flock of hungry geese. This one’s name is Sandra in particular.

It reminds him of his college basketball days, how the cheerleaders all too eagerly swarmed around him after sinking the winning shot at the championship game. Shame he was too busy eyeing the girl in the stands to care, her face buried behind a book twice as big as her head. Who reads an 800-page novel during the playoffs anyway?

Fate, as one may call it, intervened about a week later when his best friend became said girl’s lab partner. Yoongi didn’t make any sudden moves at first, but well, he did make her his wife three years later.

“It’s just so nice to finally meet the father of such a sweet child. Especially considering how many dads tend to take a backseat in their child's early years.” Is she still going on? Yoongi does his best to stay present, though it’s proving unsuccessful. “And Jia truly is an angel! It’s clear you’re doing a wonderful job raising her, even with a full-time job and all.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows knit together at the somewhat odd choice of words. “Thanks,” he drawls out, noticing her pupils dilating with every breath. “Most of the credit goes to my wife though. She’s a great mom to Jia.”

“Jia’s m-mom?” Sandra stutters, her mouth slightly agape. Yoongi senses the gears turning in her head as she struggles to process the unexpected presence of his wife. Tempting as it is, he holds down a smirk. Of course, he’s a happily married man–for nearly eight years now.

“Yeah,” he replies simply. “She’s usually the one to pick up our daughter from daycare, but she’s been working a lot of overtime lately. I thought I'd come instead so she can get some rest."

“Oh, well that’s very–“

“Daddy! Daddy, you’re here!” The sound of a familiar high-pitched voice, along with a light pattering of feet, diverts both adult’s attention.

“Hey kid.” Yoongi effortlessly lifts the small child once in front of him, securing her in his arms. “Have fun today?”

Jia gives an enthusiastic nod, bright red ribbons in her hair bouncing cutely as she does. Proudly, she shows him the drawing she made.

“See? It’s me, you, and mommy!” She makes sure to point to each part of the picture with her pointer finger.

Yoongi gently takes the artwork from his daughter’s hand and lets out a soft chuckle. “Now this is what I call a masterpiece! Mommy’s gonna love hanging this one on the fridge. How about I hold onto this and you go grab your backpack, okay?”

As soon as Jia’s feet touch the carpeted floor again, she races off to her cubby in the far corner of the room. Yoongi shoots Sandra a final glance before slowly following behind. “We got to get going, but nice meeting you.”

“You…too.” Sandra’s response is more than disappointed as she watches the father-daughter duo make their way out of the building. Evidently, Min Yoongi isn’t the single dad she originally assumed. Funny, she swore there wasn’t a wedding band in sight. Maybe she missed it.

“No, I’m sorry but I’m certain we haven’t used any of your services in the last six months. My husband canceled it in late October.”

With one hand, you grip your cell phone up to an ear while the other pops open the dishwasher. You’ve been on the phone with the cable company for half an hour, trying to make sense of an unexpected charge that appeared on your bank account this morning. You consider yourself more patient than most, yet after working all day, a pile of laundry waiting to be washed, and dinner threatening to burn on the stove, the last thing you have time for is arguing with your old service provider.

“I understand, ma’am, and I apologize for any confusion. I’m taking a look at my records and they’re all showing me that—oh wait a second.”

The young man on the opposite end of the line interrupts his own thought, piquing your concern in the process.

“What did you say your last name is?”

You answer and in an instant, you’re met with a thousand rushed apologies; something about getting the account names mixed up in their system. It’s difficult to decipher everything you hear with the front door being thrust open that very moment.

“Mommy, where are you? We’re home!” Your daughter not so subtly announces her presence from the foyer. She kicks off her shoes, hangs her backpack on the designated wall hook, and then rushes to the kitchen upon catching a brief glimpse of your shirt.

“It’s alright, these mistakes happen.” You hang up the call and turn around to find Jia only steps away, a big goofy grin on her face. Infectious, you break out into a smile yourself and swoop her up.

“Hey honey, I missed you so much!” You kiss the side of your daughter’s head as she wraps her small arms around your neck. “You look so pretty with all these ribbons in your hair! Daddy did a good job, didn’t he?”

Being that you were called into work earlier than usual this morning, Yoongi was the one who got Jia dressed and ready for daycare. You’re delightfully surprised by the results.

“Mmhm,” Jia nods, twirling a couple of strands of hair between her thumb and forefinger. “But Daddy pulls too much!”

“Maybe if someone had listened and stopped fussing when I told her, I wouldn’t have accidentally yanked on her hair when I was reaching for her favorite Hello Kitty scrunchie.” Yoongi joins you both in the kitchen, walking over to press a quick peck on your lips while tenderly caressing the small of your back. The gesture soothes you of your earlier frustrations. “Who was that on the phone? Cable company?”

“Yeah, they canceled the charge. Wrong account.” As you reiterate the entire mix-up, your eyes wander all over your husband. He’s especially handsome tonight, given his perfectly tousled black hair and navy blue blazer flowing over his body. It’s tastefully oversized with a clean, white top paired underneath. You, on the other hand, are sporting a raggedy old t-shirt and stained sweatpants.

There was a time when you used to put a shit ton more effort into your appearance. It was before you got pregnant with Jia, back when you and Yoongi were going out on weekly dates. Neither of you has that kind of time anymore, or energy for that matter. You didn’t believe the other moms when they told you the romance takes a nose dive after you have your first kid. Yet here you are, proven wrong again.

Being parents to a beautiful baby girl is likely the most rewarding feeling in the world for you and Yoongi. You don’t remember the last time the two of you got real quality alone time though. And sex? Well, that hasn’t happened in weeks. The gravity of the situation weighs more on you with each passing day to be honest. Sure, you’re not the same person you used to be eight years ago, but shouldn’t you and Yoongi still make time for at least a little intimacy?

“How was picking up Jia by the way?” You look at Yoongi who merely shrugs nonchalantly in response.

“It was fine. Nothing too out of the ordinary,” Yoong gives you another peck before heading up the stairs to your bedroom. “I’m gonna go get changed. Why don’t you show Mommy the drawing you did Jia?”

“A drawing?” You shift your attention to your daughter whose eyes sparkle like diamonds upon mention. “We should put it up on the fridge then. Let’s take a look hmm?”

“It’s in my backpack! My new friend and I were drawing together. Her name is Mi-Sun.” Jia continues telling you all about her friend Mi-Sun as you make your way to the front door where her backpack hangs. You’re fully engaged until the very end. “Daddy made a new friend too!” she joyously claps her hands together, not realizing the depth of her remark.

“Oh, who’s Daddy’s new friend honey?” You ask, staying as calm as possible.

“Ms. Cho! They were talking for a really long time today.”

Ms. Cho? You think back to all the moms you’ve met at daycare. Somehow you can’t recall ever hearing or meeting a Ms. Cho. She must be a single mom, you deduce. Was she new? What did she look like? And why didn’t Yoongi mention her when you asked?

This has to be nothing but a little small talk, an acquaintance at most. Besides, the moms at Jia’s daycare are quite a chatty bunch and Yoongi wouldn’t dare overstep any boundaries.

“Do you know what they were talking about?” You don’t enjoy asking your child for details about your husband, yet you can’t seem to help it this time.

“I dunno,” she shrugs her shoulders. "Daddy was laughing a lot."

Suddenly, the self-assurance you gave yourself earlier slips away; seemingly useless given the queasy feeling building in the pit of your stomach.

For the remainder of the night, you purposely dodge every attempt your husband makes to kiss, touch, and hold you. You’ve even begun responding to his questions in one-word answers and at times, with nothing at all.

Yes, you’re being petty; more than usual. The silent treatment frustrates Yoongi to no end and it isn’t very mature of you, but neither is refusing to tell your wife that some single mom was flirting with you in front of your kid! Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration. Maybe it all sums up to a harmless conversation, but it’s not like you know either way with Yoongi being as reserved as he is. It brings you back to your early dating days when he wouldn’t think to tell you about various aspects of his day; who he ate breakfast with that morning or the one classmate of his that wouldn’t leave him alone for two semesters.

Truth be told, you're simply hoping that your husband will bring up the topic first, without having to be the classic nagging wife. You’re a jealous person by nature so it’s not a simple task. Even now as you fold the first batch of laundry on your shared bed, him on the other side doing the same, you struggle to keep from blurting everything out.

“So,” Yoongi fluffs up a clean pillowcase before sliding it onto one of the bed pillows. “How was work?”

What a basic question, you grumble internally. Is that all he’s got? “Was okay,” you reply. “The usual.”

“You must be tired from the day. Did you get to lie down at all?” Yoongi picks up another pillowcase, repeating the process as before. When he glances your way, it’s clear something’s on your mind. You’ve started pairing Jia’s socks far more aggressively than normal and you’re holding back your responses. “Did you hear me, doll? Or am I going deaf here?” The sarcastic chuckle distracts you from your task, forcing your attention.

You’re about to respond when your eyes briefly flicker down to his hands, his left one in particular. Where's his wedding ring? Yoongi always wears it no matter what. The same sick feeling from before returns tenfold. No wonder that Ms. Cho was all over him–she must have thought he was single.

“No, I didn’t get to lie down Yoongi. I worked all day, came home and made dinner, called the cable guy to get that stupid bill figured out, and now I’m doing the second load of laundry. I’m really just not in the mood to chat.” It comes out a blur as you snatch the empty laundry basket and head for your washer and dryer, your eyes welling up with tears.

“__, wait.” Yoongi tosses the last pillow near the headboard and stops you in your tracks, his hand firmly gripping one end of the laundry basket. The intensity of his stare softens as he speaks. “I'm sorry if it seems like I'm forcing you to talk. I know you've been losing a lot of sleep recently between work, Jia, and upkeeping the house. We just don't get a lot of time to see each other anymore and I miss you…I miss talking to you."

With every ounce of self-control remaining, you hold back any tears that risk spilling out. You don't know why you're acting like this, why you're crying over something that seems so small and insignificant to the rest of the world. Yoongi loves you. He's said it a million times and proven it to you over and over again, for eight years now. He wouldn’t cheat on you, yet you still get so worked up about the idea that someone could take him away from you. Someone half your age, more attractive, or hell even the opposite sex if it means fewer dark circles under their eyes.

"Why- why aren't you wearing your ring?" Your naturally confident voice dwindles to the whisper of a mouse. It's completely out of character, nevertheless, here you are.

"I..." Your husband's voice wavers. His gaze flickers to his left hand, where his ring should be, but isn't. "Shit...I took it off in the shower this morning," he confesses, frustrated by his forgetfulness. "I was in such a rush to get Jia to daycare, and me to work, that it completely slipped my mind. I'm sorry—I fully intended to put it back on." He pauses, then perks up. "It's still in the bathroom. I'll be right back, okay?"

You watch as he makes a beeline for the master bathroom, eager to rectify the situation as soon as possible. You should have kept silent what you say next, but you don't.

"No wonder the moms at Jia's daycare were so drawn to you."

"What?" Yoongi stops in his tracks. The dumbfounded expression on his face tells you that you've caught him off guard again.

"Jia told me about someone named Ms. Cho," you reluctantly continue. "The two of you were laughing and talking and–"

"Baby, don't worry about that." Seizing his chance, your husband walks back over to you and sneakily pulls the laundry basket from under your arm. He sets it on the ground after, then reaches to take your hand in his, but stubbornly you cross your arms.

"Her name's Sandra," he starts explaining. "She's a new mom at the daycare and she didn't know anyone, so she started talking to me. I got the sense she was a little overly friendly but it was all small talk, nothing more."

Still largely unsatisfied, you remain unmoved. "If it wasn't a big deal then why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because nothing serious happened. The majority of the conversation was her venting about her ex-husband and me wishing you were right there next to me. Please believe me. All I could think about was finally being able to come home to you after a long week with Jia in our arms."

"Really?" Well, now you're feeling guilty for avoiding him in nearly every way tonight. Guilty for believing such wild assumptions that he'd leave you for someone else over one measly conversation. Guilty for letting yourself get so worked up over a situation you, quite frankly, knew few details about.

"I mean it doll." This time, when he reaches out to grasp your wrist, he succeeds. He intertwines his fingers with yours and leads you to the edge of your bed, gently pulling you down to sit on his lap. "Do you really think I could look at anyone else the way I look at you? Or think about you the way I have for the last eight-plus years we've been married and known each other?"

You hesitate your answer, averting his eye contact. "I know but…"

"No, don't finish that. Look at me," he intercepts. "You and our daughter are the only women on my mind–24/7. I can't get either of you out of my head and I don't want to. I'm so sorry I forgot to put my wedding band back on this morning, and again tonight. I feel awful about it and I'll be more careful from now on. And another thing, when Sandra and I were talking I mentioned you multiple times. So, it's clear to her that I'm a happily married man."

The last bit of information manages to perk your ears. "You talked about me?" Your eyes widen as you finally shift your full attention to him. Yoongi eyes widen with you, amused by your sudden change of heart to look at him.

"I said my wife is an amazing mother, works too hard for her own good, and needed to rest today. Give or take a few words."

That's all? You huff to yourself. Would it been nice if your husband also thrown in that you were beautiful or stunning in that mix of compliments? Yes, yes it would have–again, you're pettiness clouds your better judgment. You're not as pissed off as before, but rather semi-irritated.

"Okay…well I guess it's fine then. I'm sorry for being short with you earlier. I shouldn't have made those rash conclusions about the ring and that woman from the daycare. It wasn't reasonable of me." You get up from his lap, yet Yoongi isn't entirely convinced that you're okay.

"There's still something you're not telling me. I can tell."

"No, there's nothing else." You waive him off, placing your hand on your bedroom doorknob "You told her you had a wife so it's fine. I need to switch the second load of laundry.”

"Come on, doll. Let's not leave things unsaid now."

Sighing at his plead, you find yourself giving into all your repressed thoughts and emotions. It swallows you up, like a tidal wave you can't stop. "Look at me Yoon. I'm sweaty, I have dark circles under my eyes, stretch marks, love handles, my hair's a mess, and all I wear are old sweats covered in stains. I'm nothing like I used to be! No wonder we aren't intimate anymore."

Yoongi rises from the bed at once, offended by the sudden digression. "Is that what this is all about? It’s not even about that single mom from daycare is it?" The truth of the matter sinks in as he speaks.

"I guess maybe so…though I'm still annoyed about that too." Great, you're back to square one again.

"Come with me, I need to show you something." Your husband gestures you to follow him, which you slowly concede to.

"What are you doing Yoon?" You both walk into the master bathroom, stopping in front of the large mirror above the sink.

"I'm showing you the woman I'm in love with and have been in love with for nearly eight years now. Sweats and all." Yoongi makes you face the mirror directly, hands around your shoulders. You have trouble stomaching the sight.

"Yoongi please, I can't. The laundry ringing off." You avoid looking into the mirror and make a move to leave the bathroom.

"Just stay with me a minute, please?" Your husband refuses to loosen his hold on you, turning your body so you're looking eye to eye. "No, you're not the same person as you were and neither am I. We're parents to a beautiful daughter now, who we love and adore. We're also overtired 90% of the time, juggling a million things at once. But there's one thing you can count on to always stay the same–my loyalty to you. I'll always be in love with you __, no matter what age you are or however way you look. There's nothing you can do to change that, so why fight it?"

Dammit. A single tear rolls down your cheek as you take in his heart-melting speech. It's not his words alone, it's the sincerity behind them. How he's repeated similar countless times before throughout your entire relationship.

"I love you, Yoon..." you choke out the words, composure fleeting.

"I love you so much, doll." He wipes the wetness of your tear with his thumb. "As far as us not being as intimate anymore, that's my fault. I don't ever want you to feel like I don't desire you every day. Why don't we send the kid to my parents this weekend and let me start making things right hmm?"

"I don't know if we can this weekend. Jia has a playdate on Saturday."

"So, I'll ask Mom to take her. She'll be happy to, trust me. We can finally watch that movie you've been dying to show me since what? December?"

"You're serious?" Your eyes light up at the mention of what is essentially a movie date. The show Yoongi's referring to is one you've been craving to see for months, yet neither of you has found the time to watch. "I've been talking about it for so long, Yoon."

"I know you have, it's why I suggested it. I've been wanting to watch it too with all the trailers you keep sending me. Plus, I'll be able to keep my beautiful wife in my arms for over two hours. That's a lot for us, especially with you being such a busy bee. I can never get you to light in one place! What's up with that, huh?"

Feeling your natural self re-emerging, you throw a playful swat to his arm and scowl at his teasing comment. "You're one to talk! You're basically a workaholic! Besides, you knew who you were marrying when you met me."

Yoongi chuckles and brings both hands to cup your cheeks, squishing them slightly. "A cutie who reads 800-page novels at a basketball game?"

"Stop babying me!" You pull his hands off your cheeks and rub them, trying to regain some composure. "I don't regret my choices, I like books. It's why I'm such a boss at work!"

"Okay, boss," he laughs. "What about what I suggested before then? I can call Mom tomorrow and ask her if she could watch Jia for the day. She'll take her to her playdate, then they can spend the rest of the day together."

It does sound nice, having the whole day with your husband.

"Okay," you agree. "Let's try."

"Good." Yoongi slides his hands down to your hips and pulls you flush against his chest. "How about we seal it with a kiss now?" You nod and he leans his head down, pressing an amazing, tender kiss to your lips. It makes you both giddy on queue.

"Read one more story, Daddy!" Jia leaps off her small, twin bed and bounds for her bookshelf. She lets out a series of giggles when a large pair of hands catch her, lifting her high into the air.

"I already read you three books kid," Yoongi says, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Bedtime." He then tucks her into her fluffy comforter, plugs in her teddy bear nightlight, and closes her bedroom door.

The next second, Jia comes running out of her room, latching onto his right leg. "I don't wanna go to bed. I wanna play!" Figures she'd be hyper at this hour.

Yoongi sighs and picks her up. "Daddy told you to go to sleep, it's not playtime. You'll have lots of time for that tomorrow when you get to see your friend." He then carries her into her room, yet she fusses in his arms; thumping her tiny fists into his chest.

"No, no, no, Daddy. I want to play!"

Sighing, Yoongi looks at his child with sharp eyes. "Jia–"

"Hey," you interrupt, entering your daughter's bedroom upon hearing the commotion down the hall. "What's going on?"

"Kid doesn't want to go to bed."

You give an empathetic look and saunter over to the pair, gently taking Jia into your arms. Yoongi places his hands on his hips as he watches you reason with your daughter.

"Jia, you know tomorrow's a big day right? You and Sana are going to go to the playground together." The child nods. "You don't want to be tired when you're playing do you?"

"No..." She shakes her head. "I want to be awake!"

"Then you need to listen to Daddy and go to sleep. That way you'll be full of energy tomorrow when you and Sana go on the swings or slide down all the big slides." You smile as Jia starts rubbing her drowsy eyes, yawning in the process.

"But I...okay," she slowly concedes, eyes fluttering shut as she gives into her sleepy state. Unsurprising to you and Yoongi, she was tired all along. But like most kids, hated going to bed.

"See?" You lay Jia in her bed and pull the covers up near her chin, giving her a light kiss on the side of her head. Yoongi bends down and does the same after you. "You just gotta talk to her a little, she'll typically fall asleep on her own."

"But I read her three of her favorite books." Yoongi shuts off the overhead light, along with the door to Jia's room, and follows you to your bedroom.

"That's different Yoon," you argue back. "Books excite her."

"She takes after you that way then." Yoongi pulls his t-shirt off, leaving him bare-chested, and climbs onto his side of the bed. You join him shortly after with your head resting on his chest and an arm thrown around his waist.

"I'm so exhausted," you yawn.

"Go to sleep, baby. I'm right here." Your husband places a hand over your wrapped arm, sending you off into a deep slumber.

Well this is just ironic. Almost 2 A.M. and you're wide awake.

What initially started as a nice, relaxing dream quickly turned into a terrible nightmare. In the dream, you woke up alone. Yoongi was gone. Jia was gone too. You can't exactly make sense of it, except for a vague memory of Jia calling another woman 'Mom'. You couldn't see her face very well, so it could've been anyone. You couldn't speak either, so even when you tried approaching the three, they couldn't hear you. You've had nightmares plenty of times, but this one is new. It's a clear projection of all the underlying concerns upheaved from earlier; insecurities, abandonment, loss, and it has you unsettled.

You glance over to your husband's side of the bed. He's fast asleep, no longer cuddling you due to you both flip-flopping in your sleep. You decide to slide closer to him, needing to watch him for a while. It might sound weird, but you love watching him sleep. He's so handsome and you feel a great deal of comfort doing so. Maybe if he was awake, you'd tell him about what you dreamt. Then again...maybe not.

"I love you Yoon," you whisper as quietly as you can, tracing his every facial feature with your eyes.

"'m, I love you too."

Is he-was he awake? As if caught red-handed, you quickly flit your face away in favor of the blank ceiling above. You weren't expecting him to answer at all, and in such a hoarse voice too. You're a little turned on by it to be honest.

"Can't sleep?" he speaks up again, eyes still closed.

"No, I''ll be okay though. You can go back to sleep. Don't worry."

He grunts, a tad unhappy with your dismissal of him. "Do you want to talk about it? Your dream?"

You whip your head in his direction. "How–" You pause, seeing his eyes blink open.

"I didn't meet you just yesterday, doll. I know they keep you up. Just know, I'm always here okay? Always." He reaches for you with delicate fingers as he continues. "Now, come here. Seems we got separated in our sleep."

You accept the offer and cuddle into him again. This time your noses nearly touch and his arm wraps around your lower waist. You feel the growing urge to kiss him, wanting to forget your nightmare entirely. But perhaps silly, you ask permission first, seeing as he's close to drifting off again.

"Yoon?"

"Mm."

"Can we kiss?" Your cheeks flush a little at the request. Why are you acting like this? You've been married for years.

"Sure, 'm tired but I could go for a make-out right now." A small smirk graces his lips as he teases you. You give him a classic 'Yoongi!' in reply. "I'm kidding. You don't ever have to ask me that," he finishes.

"Hmm, maybe I don't want a kiss anymore." You feign stubbornness, just to see his response. And a response he gives you, more than you're prepared for.

"You're ridiculous," he grumbles, capturing your lips in one fell swoop. He moves his lips against yours as the hand on your waist grips tighter. The tiniest of moans escapes your lips.

You attempt to break the kiss first, thinking it will only last for a few seconds. Yet Yoongi slips a hand behind your neck to bring you into another kiss. One that's deeper than the last. You feel your breath being taken away little by little, especially when his tongue licks into your mouth. God, you haven't kissed like this in an eternity. A wetness soon gathers between your thighs.

"'m, Yoon," you gasp when his cool fingers sneakily make their way under your shirt, tickling your bare skin. They travel the expanse of your waist, stomach, and up along your back. "So cold."

Yoongi pulls away from the kiss and retracts his fingers. He then lazily moves his body until his chest hovers over your own, rolling you on your back in the process. He's a bit of a blur due to the dimness of the room, yet you can see the whites of his eyes a bit better than before.

"Help me warm them then," he says, folding his hands on top of yours from where they rest on your stomach. "You're really burning up, doll."

His observation is right. Ever since you woke up, you're body's been hotter than normal. The stress is clear and it's only increasing due to the unexpected turn of tonight's events; your husband seemingly wanting to make love to you in the middle of the night.

"So I am," you reply, staring straight into his eyes. "Must be because of all the sudden surprises today. My body's finally responding to it all."

Yoongi nods, following your implication. "Well let's do something to calm it down, shall we?" He waits for your final go before making any abrupt movements.

"But...you haven't seen me–"

"Naked in a while?" he predicts your next words, unfazed. "I've seen it all, each time better than the last because I love you. You're beautiful to me, no matter what. Let me love you __. I've missed you. I've missed us."

"Okay...please," you sigh, desperately needing his touch. "It's been so long since we've been this close."

Neither of you has it in you to delay another second as you dive into another fiery kiss, your hands wandering up and down each other's bodies. You love his hair the most, so you run your fingers through it repeatedly. Your husband's soft grunts remind you that it's as pleasurable for him as it is for you, and as if to counter, he latches his lips to the curve of your neck.

"Yoon," you moan, shivering at the feeling of being peppered in open-mouth kisses. Your eyes automatically roll up as well.

Yoongi nips at your jaw next, featherlike, yet deadly to you nevertheless. He doesn't allow himself to linger more than a second, though, preferring to keep you on your toes. So with careful fingers, he begins lifting the bottom of your shirt.

"Can I?"

You hum in approval and lean forward for him to remove it.

With your nipples now exposed to the brisk air, stiffening due to arousal, Yoongi brings both his hands up to caress your boobs. He's incredibly gentle, telling you how beautiful you are once again until his thumbs start circling your peaked nipples. A rush of sensation shoots up your spine as he rolls them harder, flicking them once in a while.

"Fuck," you swear.

"Feeling good?"

All you do is nod fervently in response, which Yoongi takes as his signal to lower his head to your chest. He squeezes both breasts in his hand before wrapping his mouth around a nipple, licking and sucking relentlessly. He repeats the same to the other.

"Yoongi, I need you. Please." You're core tightens, thighs struggling not to rub together, as you plead with your husband to relieve you. You are so wet and getting wetter.

"I'm here, doll, I got you. Fingers first hm?"

He pushes part of the comforter towards the foot of the bed, then gestures for you to raise your butt. Any shred of mystery of how worked up he's gotten you slip away as he pulls your underwear and pants down your legs. They both get tossed on the floor, per usual.

Bare pussy exposed, Yoongi guides your legs further apart and brings a hand down to your entrance. One of his long, slender fingers traces up your folds so smoothly that you buck your hips upon the touch. He smiles lightly at the subtle response, pleased that you're finally enjoying yourself; too often you put your needs last. His finger slowly sinks into your well-lubricated pussy, velvety walls clenching around it.

"Oh, g-god," you give a shaky moan as his finger pumps and curls in you, stimulating your g-spot. "Need you now, Yoon, so bad."

"Mm not yet, we need to stretch you out. You haven't taken me for a good three or four weeks," he smirks at your eagerness, sliding a second finger next to the first. "This pussy is drenched but not enough. I need you to come. Can you do that for me?"

Fast, quick movements follow suit as your husband works you up to an orgasm. Oh fuck, oh fuck, you chant in near whines. Your pussy is spasming around him, walls tightening with each push and pull. You know when he draws his hand out that it's covered with your come. Messy, sex is messy and both of you are too far gone to care; the pleasure sweeping over you.

Finally, in what feels like an endless tease, you have your first orgasm of the night. You feel your body relaxing into the mattress again, yet your breath remains short. Yoongi, on the other hand, groans seeing your release dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets. For a split second, there's a slight darkening in his eyes while he takes in your post-orgasmic form. The two fingers that had been inside you are sensually brought to his lips, slipping between the seam before being cleaned off.

You're taken aback by the action, though you've witnessed it before. Something about watching your husband willingly follow through with a gesture so lewd makes your head spin–you want him to fuck you right this instant. He must share the same feeling because you don't even need to sound the words due to his hands already making quick work of his pants.

"You drive me mad, you know that? Can never get a break with how sweet you taste. Your lips, your come. All of it makes me go mad." His full length comes in view, hard and tip leaking with pre-cum. You try not to let yourself stare at the thickness but hell, you must've forgotten the extent of your husband's size. You don't remember it being this big before.

"Well," you gulp. "You're not making it easy on me either, looking like this."

Yoongi climbs over to you again, settling into a straddled position, and looks deep into your eyes. "Who's fault do you think that is?"

"It's your fault." You bend your legs and wrap them around his mid-section. You can feel the tip of his cock tease at your entrance. The anticipation is beyond grueling.

"No," he says, aligning himself up to your weeping hole. "it's yours." He then thrusts his hips forward, his length sinking into you so perfectly it has you completely satisfied.

"Y-Yours," you whimper out, unable to form a steady sentence.

"Fine." He picks up his pace. "Let's just agree we both fuck each other up on a daily---ah fuck!" Yoongi growls and gives you a suspicious look when he feels your pussy suddenly clench around his length.

"I didn't do it on purpose this time! You're fucking me too good is all."

"Really? You're not just teasing me?"

Yoongi is slow to believe since you've purposefully clenched countless times before, simply out of playfulness. Tonight is different than those nights though because you're telling the truth–he's truly fucking you so good.

"What the hell," he concedes. "You feel so fucking fantastic, I don't even care." He continues his movements, thrusting into you with deep groans and labored breaths. His fingers grip the mattress harder with the veins in his neck bulging out.

Both your bodies move in sync as the familiar sound of skin slapping on skin echoes off the walls of your bedroom. You do your best to keep your moans low, not wanting to risk waking up your daughter.

"Yoon, fuck! I need to come, it's gonna-fuck-happen soon," you swear, pussy throbbing at the feeling of being so full after weeks of abstinence. You can tell you're reaching your high with the bundle of nerves in your core threatening to snap at any given moment.

Of course, you're wet too, extremely wet.

"I'm. Nearly. There." He barely sounds the words out, jaw clenching. "Just another minute, and we can finish together."

Your eyes, which haven't left his since he entered you, begin to glass over with tears. It's overwhelming; his love for you. No matter the doubts that tell you the opposite, you can't give in to their ugly lies. You'll continue to struggle, naturally, but you won't ever let them win. Yoongi's never once given up on you, and neither should you.

"I love you, Yoon...I love you with all my soul," you choke the words, falling apart all at once. "I'm sorry for today. How jealous and irrational I got."

"Don't apologize, doll. I shouldn't have let it go so far, our lack of intimacy and alone time. I promise we're going to make it all right okay?"

Giving you one last thrust, you both have your release at the same time. Yoongi helps ride your orgasm out by lazily continuing to grind into you. Yeah, you might need to shower and switch out the sheets after tonight, but you don't regret it one bit.

"In all seriousness baby," Yoongi speaks up, guiding your legs back on the soft mattress until you’re comfortable. "Don't feel like you have to apologize for everything. I understand your feelings and where you were coming from. I will say, the silent treatment kills me though. I'd rather you yell at me than not talk to me at all."

"It's not easy for me to raise my voice like that, Yoon." You throw your arms around his neck and sigh softly. "But I can try talking to you more, or at least tell you I need some time to process before I'm ready to have a conversation. I don't know, am I making sense?"

"Plenty of sense. I'll share more about my day with you and who I'm talking to as well. We'll also carve out time to have together. I love our daughter, but I don't see the harm in reaching out to our friends and family to babysit once in a while."

"Well, this sounds good to me," you hum.

"Me too." Yoongi smiles wide and goes in for another warm kiss. Your eyes flutter shut in unison.

This is what love feels like.

a/n: LMK what you think 🥰

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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[itgirl-111]

OFFENSIVELY ATTRACTIVE VAUNT

Why do I have to be so offensively attractive? Everything about me from top to toe is perfection. You've never seen a face as pretty and flawless as mine. No cause why do I have to look this hot? I'm fr the hottest girl on the planet. Everything about me from top to toe is pure perfection, my individual features are perfect and flawless but when they come together they are so harmonious? Like everything just fits my face so fucking perfectly like it's meant to be there. Every inch of my face and body is gorgeous and flawless. I am a walking masterpiece, I'm a work of art. Everyone is obsessed with me the first time they see me, I am so drop dead gorgeous that people literally double take and gasp once they lay their eyes on me. I mean, I'm always the center of attention because why wouldn't I be? I high key give off real main character vibes, it's like I straight up walked out of an anime. It's near impossible for someone to look this humanely beautiful but I do because I'm just too damn stunning. I literally take everyone's breath away. I am so offensively attractive, people find it difficult to not look at me, I swear all eyes turn only to me because I'm literally the most beautiful ever. It's only once in a blue moon that you'd get a chance to see a person as attractive as I am, Im once in a lifetime afterall. I get complimented every single day, I hear everyone call me beautiful more than my own name. I am too painfully attractive, it's indescribable. I'm the typa girl who you see once and never forget. I literally got everyone feeling some type of way they never felt before. I am literally so utterly mesmerizing. I got everyone simping for me fr. I'd be literally breathing and everyone would be down bad for me, Literally down bad. I got universal sex appeal, meaning everyone regardless of sexuality is down bad for me . I am so sexy people genuinely cannot get over it and everyday I just get 100x trillion times hotter. I am just sooo damn fine like I've got too pretty of a face and even more powerful vibe. I believe in my supremacy fr. Sometimes it's just so hard to grasp the fact that a person as attractive as I, is living on the same planet as everyone else, everyone is damn lucky to be born in the same generation as I am. It's ridiculous how many simps I have, like damn I really got everyone down bad for me huh. I am the pinnacle of God tier beauty and charisma.

There's something about my vibe which is just so uniquely mine, like my vibe and energy is so one of a kind, everyone can feel my vibe even before I walk into the room. I give off an expensive, powerful, hot girl vibe who straight up walked out of an anime I swear lol. My energy is way too magnetic and irresistible, it speaks volumes. My presence is literally out of this world. The way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I do things, the way I think, the way I look, my energy, my mannerisms, my habits, all of it is way too unique to be replicated. Everyone wanna study me like their favourite subject. It's impossible to mistake me for another one, I stand out and outshine literally everyone with my beauty, charisma, and interesting personality. The fact that it comes to me so naturally and effortlessly? Even better. I've got such amazing wit and humour, I'm so personable that people genuinely love to be around me even though I may seem intimidating at first. I always know how to spark interesting and amazing conversations, I know when to speak and be quiet, I got that perfect balance between loud and quiet confidence. My intelligence and the way I keep learning new things so easily? Even hotter!. I am an ICON. My energy is actually so magnetic, I have that little something, that is just so insanely attractive and captivating that it cannot be described in words, only felt. I truly believe in my own supremacy.

[generalsmemories]

HELLOO THEREE!! i love how dedicated you to jing yuan!! Can i have req for 1k event???

Fluff sentences "8" + fluff scenarios "4"!!

Thank you so much!!

I keep looking forward to your JY work!!

Bedrest

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompts: Not letting the sick one move an inch + playing with their hair until they fall asleep & "You're going to get sick if you keep coddling me." "And you're just going to get worse if I don't" || 1k event also requested by @/thetwinkims

✧ content: fluff, established relationship, i swear it's just fluff like for once there's no hidden angst over here.

✧ a/n: hello fellow jing yuan lovers, i'm still alive. this was once again written at 1 AM and not edited at all so if there's any writing mistakes, no there isn't. the initial plan was to keep this one in the drafts while I also write other WIPS to feel productive but i have honestly starved ya'll for months at this point i'm so sorry i'm back with milk.

have soft jing yuan just giggling, is he delirious, sleepy or just in love? we don't know.

If you could describe Jing Yuan in one word other than mischievous, it would be stubborn. The General of the Xianzhou Luofu is too stubborn for his own good, you don't know if this stubbornness of his is rooted in his desire to protect Luofu from danger, or from the fact that he just dislikes when people wish for him to do something in particular.

In any case, his stubborn and mischievous nature could very well be linked to that of a feline - which he himself has been told that he share similar traits of, despite being fully human.

You just wished that he would be less stubborn when it also came to his health.

"Jing Yuan, how many times have I told you to just lay down…!" you say whilst gritting your teeth, using almost every ounce of your strength to push the general back down on the bed. Jing Yuan merely lets out a quiet chuckle, still trying "playfully" wrangling with you. "I'm injured, not sick, dear." he says, to which you merely roll your eyes in exhaustion.

Jing Yuan truly loves it when you finally forego your usual gentle demeanour to a more brazen one. It's usually a side of you that only he can see, more so because he's the only one who can annoy you enough to make you realize that gentle words and probing won't get you anywhere.

"I don't think someone with a temperature of 40 degrees is only injured, darling. Now can you please just lay down before you reopen your wounds?" you plead once again, pressing the heels of your palms further down Jing Yuan's broad shoulder which shook in quiet laughter at your desperate struggle.

"I'm wide awake after having taken numerous naps because per your request though?" he informs, finally settling back down on the bed which finally allows you to lean back to sit on the edge of the bed again. "Last time you insisted that you were fine, I had to get Mimi to help haul you up the stairs because you could barely move." you remind him with a huff, Jing Yuan turning over on his side to face you, his already messy bangs sweeping over to the side to almost cover his right eye.

He didn't say anything, his arm was still laid behind his head to act as another form of cushion while the other rested lazily over the bedsheets. You could however see the golden eyes peering deeply into your own between the grey strands. A silent request that he didn't dare utter to you.

Jing Yuan rarely requested things from you after all.

With a sigh, you turn your body over and hoist your knees over the bed. Nudging Jing Yuan's arm aside with your hands, "Move them." you quietly demand, the same golden eyes that were peering at you blinking in slight confusion. "What for?" he questions softly while moving his arm upwards.

You don't reply, merely raising the thin blanket up to lay down beside Jing Yuan - making sure that you were hoisted a bit higher up than he was. You snake one arm around Jing Yuan's neck, a silent request to make him scoot closer to you.

When he's close enough, you hook your chin over his head while pressing his face towards your chest, the other arm wrapping around his hair. "There we go."

A few beats of silence passes by, you can feel Jing Yuan take in a few more breaths than normal whilst his eyelashes brush against the material of your shirt, the material thin enough to feel every movement of his face that's pressed against the upper part of your torso.

And then he's shaking in another quiet chuckle, "You're going to get sick if you keep coddling me at this point, darling." he says, and yet the arms that snake around your waist and the way he snuggles deeper into your chest indicates that he won't let you go now that he got you within his grasp.

He can tell that you're rolling your eyes yet again. You decide to answer his jab with a small peck on top of his head, mostly focusing your attention to the locks of hair in between your fingers, curling a particular strand around your finger whilst your other thumb is busy rubbing soothing circles at his hipbone. "And you're just going to get worse if I don't."

The general merely huffs out a laugh, replying to the peck on his head with kiss against your shirt. "You spoil me way too much." is the last thing he whispers, before he quickly falls into a deep slumber.

Because you both know that Jing Yuan truly never sleeps unless you're near him.

[starkeyisthelastname]

okay but i need a part two of frat boy rafe, who takes interest in the reader, convinced her to go on a date and it ends with a round two

When Rafe Cameron had asked you on a date, you had automatically assumed that it was a joke. Casual sex was one thing. A date was a whole different ballgame, especially for someone like him. You didn’t exactly know why he had asked you out, always hearing around campus that he never was in a committed relationship. Literally using girls as a something to get his cock warm.

Just like the first time though, you had a hard time saying no. It was insane the amount of charisma this man had over a damn text or maybe it was your wishful thinking about getting dicked down again. Whatever it was, you found yourself now sitting across from him as you looked over the menu at the expensive restaurant.

He looked good. Light blue polo that was snug against his broad upper body, hair gelled to perfection and that cocky smirk on his lips as you looked up at him after setting your menu down.

“So.. what made you ask me out on a date?” Your voice causal as you asked the burning question on your mind.

Sitting down his drink, he looked at you. He couldn’t pin point exactly why he wanted more from you other than your amazing pussy. You truly were striking to look at, but there was something else there that he wanted to know more about. He hadn’t ever been in a serious relationship, at least not one that meant anything. Maybe it was time to explore that option. However, that pussy was definitely his tonight.

“I really don’t like getting into all that sappy shit, but I don’t know..” He said, glancing over to the setting sun that made his blue eyes stand out. “There’s something about you that is different and I like that.” He said, eyes focusing back on you.

Something about hearing those words from frat president himself, the same one that never gave any girl more than one night, had you feeling butterflies. That is exactly why you found yourself a few hours later with that same monstrous dick inside you once again.

“Shit.. tightest fucking pussy I’ve ever been in.” Rafe groaned, all nine inches sliding into your hole, this time from behind. He relished the feeling of your pretty cunt wrapping around him and how good you fucking looked bent over.

You had of course remembered how big Rafe was, but nothing prepared you for the new angle. You immediately felt him hit your sweet spot, letting out a moan as you buried your face into the duvet. “Oh fuck..” You mumbled, arching your back more as he began to move his sculpted hips.

A heavy hand slapped your jiggling ass cheek as it moved with each thrust as the tall boy began to move faster, one of his knees coming to rest on the mattress to get a deeper angle. “You like that big dick.. Huh?” His voice raspy, an underlying nasal tone making it sound even hotter to you.

You were sweet by nature and always a little naive. Somewhere you knew that Rafe Cameron was bad news on the other hand you wondered if he was serious about not wanting you to just be another one of his throw away girls. The thought of him putting his magical dick in any other girl made you jealous. You had to have him as yours.

“I love it..” You whimpered. “Need it forever.”

Rafe had heard many girls tell him how they needed his dick forever. He usually would ignore them or bring his hand to their necks to shut them the fuck up. Hearing you say that made the blood rush straight to his balls, making him want to nut right then and there.

“Oh baby.. What are you doing to me? Gonna make me put a fucking ring on you and shit. Maybe have my baby. Gonna take you to meet my family after this.. I swear.” He rambled, falling hard and fast for the girl who was so sweet.

[nonstoplover]

all of my heart ~ carlos sainz (cs55)

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

pairing: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader

summary: a short story of carlos becoming a father

words: 2K

warnings: one tiny swear word in spanish ig, otherwise nothing, just fluff fluff fluff and dad!carlos which deserves its own warning tbh

a/n: i know you love the dad!driver trope, @vetteltea, which is why i dedicate this blurb to you (though i think you'd maybe prefer this to be with seb now that i think about it), as a thank you for all the amazing fanfic you provide this fandom with. i love you so much, you're so talented, so inspiring, and i truly wish to be like you. <33

please, don't be a ghost reader, leave a comment or rb!

Carlos is still a little out of breath when he hears it for the first time.

A delayed red-eye flight and an excruciating traffic jam caused him to almost miss this appointment. The first he finally has the chance to attend – having had a race when the initial one happened –, and he almost missed it.

As a drop of sweat rolls down the side of his face, obvious sign of how only seconds ago he was still running up the stairs of the hospital, a smile forms on his lips. Looking at her, lying down, the screen beside the bed showing a picture of their baby.

Well, at least they say it's that. For the love of God, Carlos can't see anything on it. He still nods along with a wide smile when the nurse asks him if he sees it. The focus shouldn't be on him and whether he can see it or not, but on his girlfriend.

God, this woman. He hasn't seen her in over a month now. And this is how they meet again: when they meet the little one officially as well, though on a screen only. Hell, the last time he saw her, they had no clue of this wonderful piece of news. From watching her wave with a smile through the glass at the airport, before he turned a corner towards his flight and disappeared, fast forward to now, when he catches sight of her lying form, just as gorgeous as ever, if not more, with a baby growing inside her. A creation by him and her.

They're gonna have a child, Carlos thinks, and as if it's the first time he realises this, his heart stops for a second. In happiness, in awe, in fear.

Because as the image on the screen gets displayed, and Carlos gets lost in-between words like embryo and transvaginal scan, suddenly the doctor announces that the baby indeed has a heartbeat, listen, you can hear it. And this one sentence, followed by the almost inaudible little thuds, is enough to make everything feel real.

Of course, he already knew what the positive pregnancy test meant, the one she showed him first on a FaceTime call, then sent as a separate picture later. But this, hearing that tiny heartbeat, it made everything even more real. They had actual proof now of what is going to happen in the near future. It might not have been planned, but it doesn't make it any less sweeter.

With his heart beating away in a rapid rhythm, he feels his facial muscles pull as his lips curve into a smile, so wide that it even showcases his pearly white teeth.

When he sees her the next time, the first thing Carlos does is place his palm against her tummy. The bump is already visible – well not in the hoodie she's currently wearing, but it's there underneath, he knows –, and he's been dreaming about holding it for many, many days now.

She lets out a giggle, throwing her head back a little, having expected a kiss upon her arrival, not this. Carlos practically doesn't pay her any attention, his sole focus is on talking with his baby.

Later on in the car she inquires jokingly the reason behind why she's not the first to be greeted by him, and he explains with a serious tone why that's the priority. "You get all this time to speak to her and bond with her, and she's already inside you which is a bonus, but she has to know exactly who her father is."

"She, huh?" she raises a teasing eyebrow, and he simply smiles, shrugging in a nonchalant way.

"I can feel it in my bones."

He looks so self-assured that she can't help but lean in and press her lips against his cheek. She still can't believe she'll get to have a kid with this man.

Doubt starts rising in his mind when they reach the third trimester. The date underlined in bright red in his calendar creeping closer and closer, making him more self-conscious and unsure than he's ever felt.

What if he won't be a good father? What if his job gets in the way of his child really feeling close to him? What is he supposed to do anyway? He already has no idea what he's doing in this whole pregnancy, safe to say, how is it going to be when he finally gets to hold the baby as well?

He's read multiple long articles, spending every flight he's had to take nose deep in his phone, until his eyes hurt and words started to lose their meaning. He wants to be the best father he can be.

This even includes several calls to his parents, asking for advice from them as well, trusting and valuing their words far more than the ones he can find online. He knows that his parents proved already that their methods work, they've been good parents to him and his siblings.

Still, the only thing that seems to reassure him is that they – the baby and him – have her. His superwoman of a girlfriend, who simply seems like she was actually born to do this, to be a mother, taking every obstacle in their way with a cheerful step and a smile reaching from ear to ear on her face.

How did he deserve her?

As he's gritting his teeth to stop himself from letting out a groan while the pain he's feeling in his hand spreads – mierda, this woman is strong – he repeats one sentence as a mantra. Only to keep him from worrying his heart out for the love of his life, who's currently letting out loud gasps and occasional curses, her eyes teary and her cheeks red from the strain of pushing and pushing and pushing.

I hope the baby looks like her.

Why is this so important to him? He has no idea. He doesn't even know why the thought popped into his mind in the first place. He just knows he has to keep on repeating it to divert his mind, otherwise he'll lose his sanity.

Simply, he has to focus on picturing a baby with her eyes, her hair colour, the elegant line of her nose, the curve of her lips, her rosy cheeks. Every inch of their baby looking like a mini-her. Because what would be better than looking at his girlfriend and marvel at her beauty? Of course, looking at her and his daughter, and seeing the exact same beauty? Sure, it would be nice to have a tiny detail of him in their baby girl somewhere, just so that it would be obvious to the whole wide world that this is his baby, that the woman giving birth to her now is his woman. Maybe the exact copy of his eye colour? Or his locks of hair, silky and thick? It doesn't matter. Honestly, who cares about how she looks, he will love her no matter what. With his whole heart, with more love, a deeper connection than he's ever felt before.

Minutes pass, then some more, until it feels like an eternity has gone by since they arrived to the hospital. But then he hears it – crying. The unmistakable baby sound, entering the haze of his mind like a sharp knife, bringing him back to reality in a millisecond.

Everything seems to quicken up, and the next thing he knows is that the bundle of his child is placed in his arms, and after that initial wave of slightly terrified chills running through his body, immediately a mixture of relief, joy and tranquility spreads in his veins. He has no idea why he was so scared this whole time. This is... subconscious. Instinctive. Meant to be.

In that very moment he wordlessly promises the baby to always be there for her, always looking out for her, always caring and loving her with all of his heart. He won't let any harm ever reach her.

"Congratulations, Mr. Sainz, on the birth of your son," the doctor approaches him, and that last word bursts the bubble Carlos has been surrounded with.

Son?

His eyes widen, lips fall slightly open in shock – right until he hears the exhausted sounding but unmistakable giggle coming from the bed. "I told you," she grins.

"A boy," he mumbles dreamily, glancing at his girlfriend, lips curving into a smile matching hers.

"Good thing I came prepared with boy names as well," she continues, slight pants leaving her lungs still.

The memory when she practically wanted to force him into choosing a male name as well, just in case – because he was so sure about their baby being a girl that he didn't even want to spend a moment thinking about names for the other sex –, pops into his mind, and he shakes his head. He was wrong.

Tiny feet patter on the floor, growing louder and louder, before a second later they suddenly cease and get replaced by a high-pitched giggle.

She glances up just as Carlos appears in the doorway to the kitchen, their son hanging from his arms, his little cheeks red from all the laughter. Her heart swells at the sight and sounds, her eyes shine bright, connecting with his easily – the love of her life.

Miracle. That's what the little boy is in their lives.

Watching Carlos be a father has been the best thing she's ever had the chance to witness. The way he plays with him, practically going back to being a child, his sole focus being on entertaining his son.

The Sainz household they established not too long ago is filled with laughter every day, the walls reverberating with the joyous sounds until they fill their hearts.

"When's dinner ready, mi amor?" Carlos leans in, pressing a loving kiss on her temple.

She cheerfully smiles, her fingers moving to caress the impossibly soft, dark brown hair on the little boy's head. "A few minutes," she replies, catching her fiancé's eyes once more. "If you two help me set the table, we can eat sooner."

Her son nods eagerly, as much as his three-year-old energy allows, and waves his tiny arms to wordlessly tell his father to put him down on the ground. Carlos obeys, then opens the cupboard to find the appropriate plates – all plastic, reserved for the times when it's only the three of them eating, to allow the young one to help them without the worry of him breaking anything.

She watches from the corner of her eyes as her two boys move towards the dining table, where Carlos lifts their son to stand on a chair, this way allowing him to reach the tabletop. His hands never leave the boy's waist, just in case, and when he's finished setting the plates, helps him back on the ground.

"Good job, chiquito," Carlos holds his palm out at the proper height.

"Gracias, papá," the little one slaps into his father's hand eagerly, making his mother smile so wide it's close to actually hurt the muscles in her cheeks.

They walk back to the kitchen counter with proud looks on their faces, and she places the bowl of salad in Carlos' hands. "It's too heavy for you, pumpkin," she explains when her son opens his mouth to complain.

"Te adoro," Carlos steals a melting kiss from her lips as his fingers get a hold of the bowl, before leaning back and fully taking it from her. I adore you.

With her heart fluttering with nothing but pure happiness and blood rushing to her face, she enjoys the way that bashful smile forms on her lips that only he can achieve. Her gaze follows his movements, the way the T-shirt clings to his arms, to his back muscles, and how the soft material ripples with every move he makes. He is breathtaking. He truly is, because unawares, she lets out a soft gasp watching him and has to endure the knowing glance and that smirk he casts her way above his shoulder. He knows her too well.

She shakes her head, attention going back to her son still standing by her feet, patiently waiting for his next task. A perfect mini-him, way more than she could've ever asked for.

A perfect child, a perfect man to call the love of her life, a perfect life. And it's all hers.

a/n: i'm back baby!! i've been gone for the longest time ever (since last summer) but i'm in my final year of uni and i had to write my thesis too so hopefully that's a good enough excuse. writer's block ain't fun still. it really just feels nice to post something again.

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

[spookyserenades]

Trouvaille - Chapter Fourteen (M)

Pairing(s); BTS OT7 x Reader

Genre/Themes; Hybrid!AU, themes of the supernatural and the occult, religious themes, violence, hurt/comfort, horror, romance

Rated; 18+ for swearing, violence/gore, future sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Word Count; 22.3k

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Updates on the 7th of each month

HELLOOOO BESTIES!!! I'm so so so excited to share this update with you all. We've got the angst, the fluff, the feels, the conflict, and... SMUT! I've worked really hard on this update, and I'd love to know what you all think 🥺 Thank you for supporting me, sending me wonderful messages, and HAPPY ONE YEAR OF TROUVAILLE AHHHH!!!! 💕💕

As an additional warning/reminder, for the smut: the scene is explicit, and is only intended to be read by those over the age of 18. Please practice safe sex, and readers please have discretion!

Much love from Dana, enjoy!!

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek raw, gawking stupidly at Seokjin and Hannah tearfully embracing several feet away. The moment felt so private, so intimate, that every instinct in Y/N’s body was screaming at her to look away or bolt back to her car. Under the awkwardness she was feeling, itchy envy was crawling all over her skin, the sherpa coat she was wearing beginning to feel stiflingly hot. 

She watched as Hannah gracefully touched her feet back to the ground, the cat hybrid’s hands frantically roaming over the front of Seokjin’s lavender puffer jacket, her light eyebrows pulled together, almost as if she was checking to make sure Seokjin was truly in front of her. 

“You were bleeding…” Hannah murmured, Y/N realizing that she was probably trying to find lingering injuries from the Cirque Mystique incident many months ago. “I thought you were…”

Seokjin grasped at Hannah’s wrists gently to halt her hands from tracking all over his coat, a look of regret on his face as he began to recall the night of the tent fire, without a doubt. 

“I didn’t know what happened to you, either,” Seokjin appeared to be squeezing Hannah’s wrists tightly, the two of them in their own little bubble. 

“Han, sweetheart, why don’t we head inside? It’s freezing out here,” a young woman emerged from behind a silver SUV, approaching Hannah and Seokjin with a kind smile. Y/N assumed the woman must be Sarah, Hannah’s adoptive guardian, and upon her interruption of the moment between the two hybrids, Y/N regained the ability to move her limbs again. 

“Oh, you’re right,” Hannah broke away from Seokjin sheepishly, burying her hands in the pockets of her peacoat. “Jinnie doesn’t like the cold, I got a little ahead of myself.”

Something about the way Hannah used the nickname “Jinnie” rubbed Y/N the wrong way, no matter how unfounded her jealousy seemed to be. Seokjin was always irked whenever Hoseok called him that, but he didn’t seem to mind it coming from Hannah’s mouth. Physically shaking the thought from her head by plastering a friendly expression on her face, she approached the three who appeared to have forgotten Y/N was even there. 

“You must be Y/N! Nice to meet you,” Hannah was the first to spot Y/N after she delicately sniffed the air and turned to her, the cat hybrid brushing past Seokjin and surprisingly pulled Y/N into a hug. “Thank you for taking care of Jinnie!”

Y/N willed herself to not be stiff as a board, immediately hugging Hannah back as she was aware she was being watched by Sarah and Seokjin. Hannah smelled like spring flowers and fresh laundry, and her silky strawberry-blonde hair tickled Y/N’s chilled cheeks. She could feel Hannah purring with Y/N’s palms pressed to her upper back, Y/N certainly not expecting Hannah to react to her presence in this way. Perhaps Hannah could trace Seokjin’s scent lingering on her, even though it had been several months since Seokjin had last given her a bite. 

“O-oh, don’t thank me, Hannah. I think most times, he takes care of me,” Y/N was embarrassed, Hannah pulling away with a chuckle. “It’s nice to finally meet you, too!”

“That’s Jinnie for you. Like a mother hen,” Hannah bit her lip, Y/N being unable to do anything but silently agree. “Let’s go inside before we have to defrost him!”

Y/N nodded quickly, peering over Hannah’s shoulder to see what Seokjin was doing– he was talking to Sarah shyly while blowing warm air into his fists. 

“Come on, Jinnie,” Hannah skipped back to the jaguar hybrid, Y/N soaking in how tall and lithe Hannah was, looking like the perfect match for beautiful Seokjin. 

When the cat hybrid hooked her hand around Seokjin’s elbow to lead him towards the entrance of the brewery, Y/N desperately hoped she wasn’t filling the parking lot with the scent of jealousy like toxic gas. 

“Y/N, I’ve heard wonderful things from Ben Alpin. I’m so glad we could get these two together before we move,” Sarah began to walk in-stride with Y/N, trailing after the two hybrids in front of them. “Hannah was so excited, she hardly got any sleep last night.”

“Same for Seokjin. I think he must have texted me six different outfit options in the middle of the night,” Y/N glanced at Sarah, who appeared to be in her early thirties, closer to Hannah and Seokjin’s ages than her. She had curly brunette hair, shocking gray eyes, and a sort of confidence that she had only really seen Ben possessing before. Maybe it was a lawyer thing. 

Y/N made small talk with Sarah from the time they walked into the brewery to when they were seated in a booth, not wanting to disturb the hybrid’s conversation. Y/N paused before the booth that the hostess led them to, not knowing where to sit until Seokjin promptly slid into the spot beside Hannah, Y/N’s heart in her throat. She tried not to look too weirded out when she took her seat across from her jaguar hybrid, who usually fought tooth and nail to get a spot beside her in any other scenario. 

Though Seokjin had assured her that whatever romance he had with Hannah was long since over and done with, Y/N couldn’t help but analyze every single interaction between them with unease. She knew she was being ridiculous, possessive, and a bit selfish– for Christ’s sake, Seokjin didn’t even know how Y/N felt about him, but her emotions were impossible to rein in and control. Hannah was bubbly, funny, sweet, and absolutely gorgeous; freckles smattered across her cheekbones and button nose, a full, pretty mouth with a deep cupid’s bow, and her eyes were a paler version of Seokjin’s copper penny irises. It was impossible to not feel a little jealous of the cat hybrid. 

“Have you been here before, Jinnie, Y/N? Any recommendations?” Hannah flipped through her menu, bottom lip between her teeth as she scanned it. 

“We came here a little while ago, with the others and Y/N’s friend Alice,” Seokjin replied, his looking so pleased Y/N swore his cheeks were rosy with delight. “I like the soft pretzels, and the house burger was pretty good!”

All Y/N wanted was a fat pint of beer. She was going to need it if she was going to get through that lunch without having to excuse herself to the bathroom to have an anxiety barf. 

“Y/N, you should get that citrusy beer again. You liked it so much last time,” Seokjin read her thoughts, Y/N feeling like strolling to the bar and opening her mouth under the nearest tap. 

“Mm, that’s what I was thinking, too, honey,” Y/N murmured, gluing her eyes to her menu. 

“Good afternoon, welcome to Salem’s, can I get you started on something to drink?” Their waiter appeared, and thankfully it was an older gentleman with a pot-belly, rather than handsome Lindsay-Buckingham-lookalike from last time. 

With drink orders in place, Y/N opting to stay away from the beer flight lest she become drunk and bold by ordering a simple pint, she fished around in her brain for some kind of conversation topic that would occupy everyone until the beers arrived. 

“So, Y/N, Jinnie told me that you used to work as a veterinarian, that’s how you knew how to treat his injuries,” Hannah broke the ice first, though it seemed that Y/N was the only one actually feeling the iciness. The other three at the table looked merry and at ease, and Y/N could only hope she didn’t look as rigid as she felt. 

“Yeah, I was. Right before I adopted him, that same night, in fact, I took my leave from the hospital I was working at. I wasn’t sure at the time if the job was the right fit for me, so I wanted to take time to sort out my feelings…” Y/N rambled, Hannah’s pretty face open and kind as she nodded along to her words. “Seokjin wasn’t in too bad of shape, he had a fever that had spiked and a gash on his side, but both were treated quickly before he got an infection.”

“Hannah, weren’t you hurt too? That night…” Seokjin took the attention off of himself, a blush forming on the apples of his cheeks. 

“I was fine. Just a sprained ankle, miraculously. The company was only going to let me take two nights off, and that’s when Donovan gave me Sarah’s card. I called her right away,” Hannah patted Seokjin’s shoulder fondly, using her free hand to gratefully accept her beer from Y/N across the table. 

“Donovan?” Sarah cocked her head quizzically. Y/N wondered if Sarah was as much in the dark with her hybrid’s past as she was– with all seven of them, nonetheless. 

“Donovan is one of the only members of the company that actually cared about us. Even though he worked there with ticketing, he always made sure that we had as many comforts as he could smuggle in for us. Extra blankets, food, books. He even got us an old TV with a stack of DVDs one time. He helped a couple of us out when we’d get injured, I guess he caught wind of your office and you in particular around the city, how you take on cases for hybrids free of cost,” Hannah’s fingers danced around the wooden table as she explained, before landing on top of Sarah’s hand and squeezing with a wistful smile. 

“We owe him a lot,” Seokjin added quietly, tracing an index finger around the rim of his beer glass. 

“I’d like to think our new lives, a chance at happiness, is repayment enough for him,” Hannah shook her head, Y/N once again feeling like she was intruding, the gravity of the conversation making her squirm in her seat. She took a steady gulp of her beer, and thankfully the waiter had returned to take their food orders. 

“Hannah and I were thinking,” Sarah began after the waiter ambled away, stirring her gin cocktail with a little black straw. “Once we’re settled in New York, perhaps mid-spring, you and Seokjin can come to visit? There’s a hotel right by our new apartment, so please feel free to bring the rest of your family, too. Maybe we could go see some live music in the area, get good food? What do you think?”

Seokjin immediately made eye contact with Y/N, hope rounding out his sunset stare, and she felt everyone at the table waiting for her response. In all honesty, it was a nice idea– a little getaway would be a lot of fun for both her and the hybrids, and there was really no excuse to disappoint Seokjin by saying no. While she was certainly jealous of the close relationship between him and Hannah, it would be cruel to separate them indefinitely. 

“That sounds like a great time! Maybe around the middle of April? I’d have to give notice to my boss, but I think a trip would be lots of fun,” Y/N perked up, thinking about all of the activities she could focus on during their vacation rather than the fact that she had a little green monster raging around in her stomach. 

“April would definitely work! I should be settled in my new office, and Hannah will have her routine with the gymnastics team, as well, by then,” Sarah shaking Hannah’s hand excitedly, Y/N realizing that they had been holding hands for quite some time. The sight had her thinking about how Seokjin always threaded his fingers through hers, almost constantly. 

“It’s settled, then. Can you send me the information about the hotel, please? I’ll book rooms as soon as I get the time off for the vacation,” Y/N couldn’t help but grin fondly at the way Seokjin and Hannah’s shared gleeful expressions, Hannah leaning her shoulder into Seokjin’s. 

After a bit of discussion surrounding activities in the town Sarah and Hannah were planning to move to, the food arrived, Y/N giggling when Seokjin cut half of his steak to divide into three, delivering a slice to each woman at the table with a concentrated pout. 

“See? What did I say? Mother hen,” Hannah remarked, popping a French fry into her mouth with a smirk. “I always used to say Jinnie’s love language was sharing his food.”

“You shouldn’t tease your friend when he has food in his mouth, Han,” Sarah scolded, but there was no real reproachfulness in her tone. Seokjin was in the middle of trying to wash down a piece of steak that got lodged in his throat with a swig of beer, taken off guard and apparently very embarrassed. 

“Y/N and I are going to a cooking class next month,” Seokjin quickly changed the subject after he recovered, his eyes still slightly watering and ears pressed flat against his head.

“Really? That’s something you’ve wanted to do forever,” Hannah set down her burger, looking from the jaguar hybrid to Y/N, Seokjin furiously nodding. 

“She got me tickets for my birthday,” Seokjin confirmed, now staring at Y/N with an expression on his face that had her heart racing. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Hannah casting a look at Y/N’s chest, one of her peachy triangular ears flickering. “One of the other hybrids we live with, Yoongi, has been teaching me some basic cooking skills.”

  Y/N fumbled for her phone in her purse, preparing to show Sarah and Hannah some pictures of her other hybrids when they asked about them. Ben, evidently, hadn’t told Sarah exactly how many hybrids Y/N had adopted. 

“Wow, Ben wasn’t joking! You’ve got a big family, here,” Sarah exclaimed, grinning at a picture of Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jimin feeding the chickens in the backyard– the rooster nipping at Hoseok’s heels and the other two pointing and laughing at the fox hybrid. “You all get along?”

“For the most part,” Seokjin answered honestly, dabbing his mouth with a napkin as he polished off the last of his entree. “Hannah, you’d like Hoseok. He’s a lot like you.”

“Oh, a clown?” Hannah cracked a self-deprecating joke, Seokjin rolling his eyes but nodding in response. 

“Oof, that wolf hybrid… he’s a doll,” Hannah pointed at a picture of Namjoon Y/N had snapped of him outside by his van; wrapped up in a scarf with the tip of his nose pink from the cold and snowflakes dusting his hair and ears. Seokjin snorted, muttering under his breath. 

“Joonie? Yeah, he’s handsome,” Y/N agreed without thinking, zooming into Namjoon’s face, able to make out tiny snowflakes clinging to his long eyelashes. “All of my boys are.”

Sarah and Hannah chuckled, Y/N handing over her phone to let the two of them scroll through her camera roll by themselves, returning to her meal with a warm feeling spreading in her chest. At that point, since the adoptions, she had well over a thousand pictures of all of the hybrids, and she had half a mind to get a bunch of them printed for a scrapbook. 

The odd sensation of being watched washed over her suddenly, Y/N taking her attention off of the two with her phone to look for the source of it– finding Seokjin studying her carefully, appearing deep in thought. She smiled at him, tentatively, considering she wasn’t used to Seokjin eyeing her in such a serious way, and he snapped out of it quickly, grinning cutely back. 

The four of them ordered another round of drinks after the entrees were cleared away, Y/N wanting the lunch to last a little longer than normal for Seokjin and Hannah’s sake. It would be a few months until they’d get to see each other again, Y/N taking a sip of her beer calmly as she noted the two hybrids exchanging phone numbers. Sarah was in the middle of sending Y/N all of the information she needed to book hotel rooms for her and her hybrids in April. Y/N supposed the issue of how many rooms she’d need to book and who would room with who would be a headache for much, much later. 

“Let’s split some desserts! Want to share the lava cake, Y/N?” Hannah flipped through the small dessert menu, her speech a little loosened from the two pints of beer she had drank. Hannah was pretty slight, so apparently it didn’t take much for her to get tipsy. 

“We got that last time,” Seokjin informed her, Y/N giggling at the way Hannah rolled her eyes at Seokjin. “I wanna try something else.”

“Then try something else. I was talking to Y/N,” Hannah slid the menu towards Y/N, a smirk on her face. 

“I split it with you, Hannah. It was really good,” Y/N lightly nudged Seokjin with her foot under the table when he began pouting pathetically. “Get anything you want, honey, if there’s leftovers you can just bring it home for later.”

Y/N encouraged Seokjin to order whatever he wanted, Hannah snorting at how much Seokjin perked up after Y/N spoke. Y/N could see why she and Seokjin had become so close over the years; there were several similarities Y/N had noticed Hannah had to Hoseok, and that was likely why Seokjin was able to become such good friends with the fox hybrid right away. Y/N could even see Hannah fitting in well with her own friend group, with her, the Santos twins, and Ben… Y/N found the longer she sat in the booth and got to know the cat hybrid, the more she liked her. Whether or not that placated or heightened her jealousy, Y/N couldn’t decide. 

“Keep in touch, until April, alright?” Sarah placed a friendly hand on Y/N’s forearm, as they stood outside of the brewery’s bathrooms. “I’m going to use the bathroom before we hit the road, can you stay with Hannah?”

Y/N nodded, comfortable enough to be alone with the cat hybrid by now, considering Seokjin had also disappeared to wash his hands in the men’s room. Y/N turned, lingering around the hostess’ booth with Hannah, the young woman already looking at her– in a similar way Seokjin was studying her earlier. 

“This place is pretty good, huh? Isn’t that lava cake delicious?” Y/N began, Hannah nodding with a soft smile on her face. “It was really nice to meet you. Seokjin told me so many wonderful things.”

Hannah chuckled, though she still looked a little serious, her shoulders squared with importance. Y/N could feel her phone buzzing in her pocket with several texts, but ignored them once she realized that Hannah had something to say, unease curling in her gut. 

“Y/N, I want to thank you again for taking care of Seokjin. He seems really happy with you,” Hannah took up one of Y/N’s hands, her skin like warm silk. “I should tell you though. He has a soft heart, please be careful with it.”

Y/N blinked stupidly, torn between being offended and grateful. Hopefully masking those emotions, Y/N simply nodded, wondering if it was obvious to Hannah how Y/N felt about Seokjin. 

“Seokjin had a lot of… um, incidents with fans of the circus. People who claimed to love him, bringing him gifts, making him promises. He was always let down in the end. It chipped away at his confidence, I think. I’m not saying you’re like that, but I don’t know if he’ll survive another heartbreak.”

Y/N felt the smile melt from her face, soaking in what Hannah had to say with nausea beginning to take over. She didn’t even know what to say in response to that, and Hannah’s expression was guarded as she caught the agitation coming off of Y/N in waves. 

“I’d never… treat him like that. Seokjin is safe with me,” Y/N composed herself, understanding where Hannah was coming from, and all at once feeling sad for Seokjin. “I care about him, about all of my boys, more than anything.”

Hannah’s guarded expression softened a tad, hearing the fierce sincerity in Y/N’s words, squeezing her hand once before letting go. 

“Thank you. I believe you,” Hannah murmured, Y/N nodding once and trying to steady her galloping heartbeat. “You’re a good person, Y/N.”

With that, Hannah looked over Y/N’s shoulder, a blush forming over her cheeks as she gave Y/N one last hand squeeze, Sarah returning from the bathroom wrapped up in her coat and scarf. The fondness that she’d sometimes see lighting up her own hybrid’s faces was mirrored in Hannah’s expression when the cat hybrid saw Sarah, which had Y/N forgiving her for being so forward with her. Truthfully, she was just trying to be protective of Seokjin, in her own way, and Y/N couldn’t be too upset with Hannah just for that. 

Seokjin appeared moments later, and Y/N was confident he didn’t hear her and Hannah’s conversation considering he was in sky-high spirits, zipping Y/N’s coat for her with a grin and making sure the collar covered up the vulnerable skin of her throat. 

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the four of them were saying their goodbyes, Sarah leaving to warm up the car while Seokjin and Hannah shared their last few moments together. Similarly, after bidding Hannah a goodbye, Y/N made somewhat of a beeline to her car to avoid watching the two hybrids emotionally embrace again, grumbling at the way her phone was blowing up in her pocket. Once in the icy cab of her car, jacking up the heat all the way, she fumbled for the device, squeaking at the messages crowding her screen. 

Before she could check to see who was trying to reach her so desperately, her phone started ringing– and it was her boss, Judy, who never typically bothered her on a day off. Promptly, she picked up, keeping an eye on the blur of lavender making up Seokjin’s coat. 

“Hi, Judy, is everything alright?” Y/N cleared her throat, which was rather dry after the interaction with Hannah. 

“Everything’s fine, dear, I was just checking up on you. About your decision, have you talked to your two hybrids about doing the investigations and cleansings?” 

Shit. Between everything with Yoongi and tip-toeing around, finally solidifying that day’s plan at the brewery, and the holidays, she had forgotten to ask Namjoon and Jeongguk about how they’d feel about making a little cash on the side with her. Exhaling slowly, Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“I’m sorry, Judy, I haven’t gotten around to it yet. The holidays were a little overwhelming. I can talk to them this evening, though.”

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. Our holiday season this year was quite busy, as well… relatives coming from all corners of the country. I’m only asking, however, because there’s a young mother who has contacted me about an entity in her home, bothering her children. She’s desperate for a consultation, and I think that you’d be able to help her.”

Y/N bit her lip, feeling her phone vibrate against her cheek with yet another message, starting to worry there was some kind of emergency back at home. 

“Oh, I’ll talk to them tonight, then. When I come in on Monday, I’ll hopefully be bringing good news,” Y/N conceded, feeling bad that she hadn’t given that conversation with Namjoon and Jeongguk too much priority. “If there’s children involved, I want to be able to help right away.”

“Alright, Y/N. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, I’ll forward you the mother’s email that was sent to me.”

Hanging up, Y/N thought about how to round up Namjoon and Jeongguk and try to convince the latter to break away from his free time enough to travel around the state with her and Namjoon. Sighing, she opened her messages with her eyes squeezed shut, thankful for the long-winded goodbye Seokjin and Hannah were in the middle of. 

Yoongi 👼🏻: We’re going to have to talk, soon

Yoongi 👼🏻: Sweetheart… I think some of them are starting to figure it out

Yoongi 👼🏻: Namjoon won’t let me out of his sight. I think he can smell you on me or something

Yoongi 👼🏻: Tonight, you and I have to talk, music room. Midnight

Yoongi 👼🏻: We’ll figure it out together, we can’t hide it from them forever

Yoongi 👼🏻: You can’t hide from them forever, either

Y/N felt the bile that was already boiling in her stomach from earlier rise to her throat, picturing Namjoon’s wrath, the idea of having to break the news of her and Yoongi’s relationship to her other six housemates, and dealing with the aftermath of that. So caught up in possibility, Y/N swore loudly when Seokjin yanked the car door open and hauled himself inside, pressing a hand over her chest. 

“Whoa, what’s the matter? Are you okay?” Seokjin panicked, hands shooting out to cup Y/N’s face with urgent, concerned hands. In consequence, Y/N’s phone clattered to the floor mat, and thankfully it was locked when Seokjin freed one of her cheeks to scoop it up for her. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just startled by the noise, that’s all,” Y/N replied a bit breathily, leaning into Seokjin’s palm heavily, breathing in his eucalyptus body wash in order to soothe herself. “Sorry.”

“Please,” Seokjin scoffed, tucking hair behind her ear and rolling his eyes. “You know how I am with loud noises. If anyone gets it, it's me.”

With that, Seokjin pulled Y/N in for a hug across the center console of the cab, using a hand on the back of her head to direct her winter-chilled face into the crook of his neck. Heartbeat stuttering a few beats, she felt herself go limp in his strong arms, worries dissolving into nothing as he held her tightly. 

“Thanks for arranging the meet for today. Hannah really likes you,” Seokjin mumbled into her hair quietly, Y/N able to feel the upturned corners of his mouth pressed into the tresses. “Just like I thought she would!”

“I like her too. She does remind me of Foxy, a little bit,” Y/N admitted, trying her best not to let her lips brush against Seokjin’s throat, though she had been harboring a desire recently to sink her teeth into the strong expanse of it. “April will be here before you know it, and we’ll get to visit her.”

“Mmph,” Seokjin returned noncommittally with his lips buried in her hair, tightening his hold on Y/N.

“What was that, honey?” Y/N giggled, pulling her face out of Seokjin’s neck, mouth still slightly watering with the idea of biting marks into his flesh. “Aren’t you excited to take a trip?”

Seokjin made a sad little purr when she maneuvered herself out of his arms, the bright color of his irises flashing once she leaned across the cab to buckle him into his seat securely. With a click, he was belted in, Y/N booping his nose that was still cool from the outside air. 

“Yeah, but I think I’ll probably miss home while we’re gone,” Seokjin admitted quietly, surprising Y/N as she backed out of her space and threw the car in drive. “I never really liked traveling.” 

Y/N processed that statement, thinking about how Seokjin had been dragged from coast to coast for years. It was likely that he enjoyed having some roots in place after essentially being a vagabond, and that was yet another similarity between him and Hoseok. 

“We’ll make it fun, I swear. I’ll rent some kind of camper van that we can drive up, we can get greasy breakfast sandwiches, make a road trip playlist…” Y/N thought aloud, picturing Namjoon in the passenger seat with an old-fashioned map, Jimin passing out snacks to everyone with his bright smile, and the eight of them crammed into a camper. 

“Why don’t we take Namjoon’s van?” Seokjin suggested, capturing Y/N’s right hand as soon as she moved it off of the gear shift, his palm warm despite being outside for quite a while. 

“It’s not big enough to fit all of us, and besides, there are about a hundred books in there. I’m not sure how Joonie and Jeongguk even hang out in there together, there’s nowhere to sit,” Y/N felt Seokjin lace his fingers with hers, the jaguar hybrid humming in acknowledgement. “Regardless, we’ll have a good time.”

“As long as I’m with you, it’ll be okay,” Seokjin sighed, squeezing her fingers gently. Y/N stole a glance at him out of the corner of her eye, a tiny smile on his lips as he gazed out of his window, Y/N’s heart threatening to break through her ribcage. 

“What, no take out for me?” Hoseok opened the door for her and Seokjin, a deep frown on his face once he realized Y/N wasn’t holding any bags. 

“No, Yoongi is making chili tonight. Pub food doesn’t travel well, anyways,” Y/N shrugged off her coat while kicking off her shoes, using Hoseok’s shoulder to balance while he grumbled. Y/N knew that he was just pretending to be annoyed, judging by the merry sway of his tail. “How was your afternoon, Foxy?”

“God, you’re calling me that now, too?” Hoseok narrowed his eyes, Seokjin snickering while he hung his and Y/N’s coat in the closet. 

“What? I think it’s cute,” Y/N replied, poking one of the little dimples above the corners of his mouth when his lips were flattened into a line. “Are Joonie and Jeongguk outside? I have something to discuss with them.”

“Yeah, they’re in the van. Probably talking about bigfoot or some shit,” Hoseok said, Seokjin’s snickers turning into full-blown squeaky laughter, Y/N dragging both of them into the kitchen where Yoongi was dutifully chopping celery. 

At the sight of him, Y/N’s chest squeezed, sensing his stress simply by noting how his shoulders were tensed up. She wasn’t looking forward to their chat at midnight, but at least she’d have some alone time with him. Promptly, Seokjin reached for his set of knives on the counter, Yoongi pointing to an onion for the jaguar hybrid to chop. After Y/N gave Yoongi a quick cheek kiss to greet him, she shuffled outside in her slides, ignoring Seokjin’s complaints that she wasn’t wearing a coat. 

In the driveway, she could see exhaust coming from the tailpipe of the van, Y/N skipping up to the side door and knocking three times. In two seconds flat, Jeongguk cracked open the door, hissing as he yanked Y/N into the toasty van with his hand wrapped around her wrist. There were old reruns of The X-files playing on Namjoon’s tiny little TV, and there were snack-sized bags of chips littered all around.  

“Are you fucking crazy? It’s like 20 degrees outside,” Jeongguk scolded, Y/N smacking his hand off of her wrist with an eye roll. 

“Says the one in a tee shirt,” Y/N shot back, glaring at the Metallica concert tee he was wearing with disapproval. “Nice to see you, too. Hi Joonie!”

Namjoon was seated in one of the only spots free of books and tapes, the booth by the kitchenette, appearing startled that she swung by to talk to them. He offered her a wave, setting the pen he was using down and straightening up from his slouchy position. 

“So, you met up with Seokjin’s girlfriend?” Jeongguk returned to his own seat across from Namjoon after he took a disinterested sniff in Y/N’s direction. Irked, Y/N used her foot to push Jeongguk further into the booth, plopping down beside him. 

“Ex-girlfriend,” Y/N corrected, Namjoon lifting an eyebrow at her and leaning back in the booth. “What are you two up to? Is this the headquarters for a secret club?”

“The wolf has a pretty decent collection of books about the occult and shit. Got nothing better to do,” Jeongguk shrugged, fiddling with the sword pendant around his neck. “Why are you here?”

“Because I have something to ask you, brat,” Y/N seethed, the elk hybrid’s attitude not a very good indication that he’d be willing to hang out with her more than necessary. “I have a proposition.”

Namjoon’s ear flickered, leaning forward on his forearms so he could listen closely. His gaze lingered on her throat, where the necklace he had given her was still clasped around securely. 

“The answer’s no,” Jeongguk smirked lazily when Y/N stared daggers at him, a teasing glint in his dark eyes. “What do you want?”

“My boss, Judy, remember her? She actually offered me a new opportunity, I’ll end up making more money and doing things that don’t require me to sit on a stool all day bored out of my mind,” Y/N began, eyes on the paper Namjoon was writing on– he must have been taking notes from the book she had gotten for him on his birthday, judging by the occultish doodles amongst his notes. 

“You’re asking for career advice?” Namjoon asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Well, let me finish, Joon,” Y/N chuckled, teasingly nudging his shin under the table. “Basically, she wants me to take over the consultations and cleansings for customers who come in and have issues with the paranormal. She asked me if you two would be interested in helping me with that, and you’d get paid, too.”

Namjoon froze, before his expression dissolved into pure excitement, something Y/N hardly ever saw on his face unless there was some kind of pastry in front of him. Like she predicted, Namjoon seemed to be totally on board, the van filled with the sound of his tail thumping against the cloth booth they were crammed into. 

“So… we’d go to work with you?” Namjoon inquired, gripping the table with white knuckles and stars in his eyes. “Three times a week?”

“Well, no, just when we’d have cases to work on. I suppose I could talk to Judy about you coming with me during my regular hours, though, you could help me shelve inventory if you want,” Y/N replied, noting that Jeongguk had yet to offer any sort of response. “What do you think?”

“Jeongguk, it’s like what you did before, with that investigation team,” Namjoon pointed out, Jeongguk drumming his fingers against the table contemplatively. “You were just complaining that you had nothing better to do.”

Jeongguk looked from the wolf hybrid to Y/N, both staring at him expectantly, Y/N unable to decipher exactly what he was thinking due to the blank look on his face. 

“I need more information before I agree to anything,” Jeongguk cleared his throat, angling his body so he could face Y/N better, scratching one of his tapered ears with a grimace. 

“Sure. Judy said we could pretty much run the whole ‘operation’ however we wanted. We’d probably take the car from house to house, do the consultations with the client, and then brainstorm together to make a tentative plan for cleansings. Anything we’d need for rituals we could get from the shop,” Y/N felt the van rock as Namjoon squirmed in his seat. 

“Don’t you think we’d need to do an investigation before we’d be able to come up with how to get rid of the haunting?” Jeongguk asked in an almost condescending manner, Y/N sucking her teeth in annoyance. 

“Thought that went without saying, but yeah. I figured that’s the part you’d be the most interested in, with your new camera, your experience, and all that,” Y/N kept her cool, concluding if Jeongguk didn’t want to help, she’d still have Namjoon. “Joon, you have a wealth of knowledge, too, and all these books to consult. I think the three of us make a good team, and we’d be helping people.”

Namjoon stood, beginning to pace around the tiny van with his hands on his hips. 

“Let’s say after a consultation, we have a night where we investigate the property with the client elsewhere. After the investigation, we review findings, come up with a plan on how to best correct the situation, and then we execute it within the home,” Namjoon thought aloud, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater as he paced. “As for transport. Let’s use this van. It’ll be easier to transport equipment and tools, and be more comfortable for longer trips.”

“Whoa, wolf. You’re serious about this?” Jeongguk gaped, and Namjoon looked deathly serious in response, so the elk hybrid changed tactics by addressing Y/N. “I don’t know, kiddo. Aren’t you worried about things that might attach themselves to you again? We just got rid of that hag.”

Both Jeongguk’s concern for her and the nickname he had begun to use on her every once in a while had Y/N nearly swooning into his lap beside her, but she managed to keep it together somehow by biting down hard on the inside of her cheek. 

“I’ve been on top of my protection magic lately, you know that,” Y/N nudged Jeongguk’s shoulder with her own, significantly softened after his display of concern. “Whatever happens, I know we can handle it. We’re like the supernatural dream team!”

With that, Jeongguk scoffed with a head shake, but the way his frame sagged Y/N knew that he was moments away from giving in. 

“Fuck it, let’s do it,” Jeongguk put his head in his hands, Y/N excitedly grabbing one of his forearms and shaking it in triumph. “I’m not starting a fucking podcast with you two, though.”

“Of course not. The world needs less podcasters anyways,” Y/N snorted, getting up from the booth with a grin. “We already have a ‘case’, Judy’s sending me the woman’s email with the complaint. I’ll keep you two updated and I’ll find out more on Monday.”

“You’re leaving?” Namjoon halted her by the door, and Y/N could have sworn there was a whisper of disappointment in the downturned corners of his full mouth. 

“Ah, yeah. I want to shower before I have my call with the twins,” Y/N became sheepish, shriveling up under the weight of the wolf hybrid’s gaze. “I’ll see you in a little bit, Joon, okay? Thank you two for being on board with this, too. I think we’ll learn a lot from one another, maybe even have some fun!”

“Unless The Nun comes for you,” Jeongguk drawled sarcastically, yanking one of the van windows open so he could light up a cigarette already poised between his lips. 

Giving him the finger, Y/N smiled warmly at Namjoon as she exited the vehicle. Both optimistic and excited to be able to spend quality time with her two more bristly hybrids, she hurried inside before she could totally freeze to death. 

Yoongi wasn’t in the kitchen anymore, nor was Seokjin or Hoseok, but the chili simmering away on the smelled heavenly and had Y/N’s mouth watering, even if she was still full from her lunch with Seokjin. She tried not to pout too much that nobody was looking for her on the way to her bedroom, and with that, Y/N wondered if she was becoming too codependent; and further, she wondered why she didn’t give a shit if she was. 

Y/N found herself waiting around for midnight that night so she could have her secret meeting with Yoongi, and because it was only a Wednesday, her and the hybrids took it easy with the nightly cocktails– so she was waiting anxiously and fully sober. By 11 PM, she was practically vibrating, gnawing on her nails until they were jagged and unsightly, and she decided to just crawl up to the music room and wait for Yoongi.

Everyone else had gone to bed already, between those who had sports the next day, and Jimin so he could get up early for the animals. Y/N wasn’t worried about bumping into anyone, but she still felt like she was creeping around like an intruder. Once she was up the stairs, her mouth dropped open in surprise seeing light spill from the threshold of Seokjin’s bedroom door. Unfortunately for her, on her way to the music room, Seokjin must have caught her scent, his door creaking open and his head popping out into the hallway. 

“What are you still doing up?” Seokjin whispered into the air, Y/N having no choice but to let Seokjin usher her into his bedroom, the soft pink walls lit up with gentle lamplight. 

“Oh, I just felt like listening to some records before I go to bed. I haven’t tested out the new system yet,” Y/N fibbed, Seokjin easily buying the lie and tugging her further into his bedroom. 

Getting a good look around, she breathed in the familiar scent of Seokjin’s body wash perfuming the room, a neat collection of books from the library book club lined up on his dresser, folded laundry sitting on the chair by the window, and his stuffed alpaca sitting on his bed. It looked like she caught Seokjin while he was reading in bed, The Silmarillion sitting on his pillow and the pink quilt pulled back. 

“You can’t sleep?” Seokjin questioned further, manhandling Y/N by her shoulders and getting her to sit on his bed. He was purring, the sound deeper than normal, and Y/N noticed a sort of wicked gleam in his vibrant eyes. 

“No, that’s not it,” Y/N breathed, Seokjin looking unfairly amazing in just a pair of plaid pajama pants and a simple white tee shirt. “Just not ready for bed y-yet.”

Y/N stuttered when Seokjin sat beside her, his tail automatically wrapping around her waist possessively and his expression growing more dangerous by the second– like he was going to eat her alive. 

“I liked the dress you wore today,” Seokjin leaned back on his palms, dragging his eyes up and down her frame. “Pretty.”

“Um, thank you?” Y/N had no idea what was going on, stiff as a board sitting on the edge of Seokjin’s bed, while he toyed with her emotions. “Guess you like the color pink, huh?”

Giggling nervously, Y/N forgot all about meeting Yoongi in the music room, getting lost in Seokjin’s heady gaze, his tail curling lazily behind him. Desperate to escape his scrutiny, she scrambled to find something to talk about, fisting her hands in his quilt. 

“Wow, you’re a-already on The Silmarillion? How did you like the original trilogy? We should watch the movies together soon–”

“Y/N,” Seokjin purred, using a fingertip to trace a line up the inside of her wrist, watching with interest as goosebumps followed his path. Before she could squeak in response, Seokjin pounced, knocking the wind out of her as she was pinned to his mattress in the blink of an eye. 

“Oof–” Y/N wheezed, eyes wide as she processed what was happening, hands scrabbling on the quilt as she registered Seokjin’s knees framing her thighs, keeping her put as he stared down at her hungrily. “Jin!”

A low growl came from the back of his throat as Y/N whimpered out his nickname, an elbow coming down beside her shoulder so he could bring his face closer to hers, his minty breath washing over her face as she stared at him owlishly. Regaining some of her motor functions, her hands grasped onto his broad shoulders, preparing to push him away before she lost all sense and kissed him, but as if he sensed this, Seokjin swiftly grasped her wrists in one of his hands. Tutting, he held her wrists above her head easily, his eyes becoming lidded as Y/N’s heart began pumping frantically. Then, as he was using his free hand to graze his fingertips under her jawline, it dawned on Y/N. 

Unable to break free from the ironclad grip on her wrists, Y/N could only watch Seokjin above her, his cheeks flushed and his mouth slightly parted, adrenaline coursing through her veins as he settled his weight on top of her. The way his hips were flush with hers had a strike of white-hot heat flashing over her skin, but Seokjin didn’t seem to notice as his thumb traced over her pulse point, a satisfied look on his face as he felt it racing under his touch. 

Last time Seokjin scented her– the first and only time– he was overcome with a fever, desperate, and shaky. This time, he was coiled, predatory, and dangerous, Y/N’s breath coming out in pants as he assessed how quickly he reduced her into a mess. Suddenly, his face was in the crook of her neck, Y/N squealing when she felt Seokjin lick a graphically long stripe up the side of her neck, his lips bending into a smile at the sound. 

“Smells so good,” Seokjin mumbled, nudging his nose along the dampened flesh, his tail thrashing behind him as he soaked in her scent, his chest rumbling with purrs as he kept her pinned to the mattress. “Pretty girl.”

Y/N’s half-closed eyes shot wide open, her stomach flipping over at the growled pet name, her captured hands aching to reach out and touch the jaguar hybrid. Mouthing at her throat, Seokjin’s tongue periodically swiped at her pulse point, Y/N’s eyes rolling into the back of her skull as she prayed she wasn’t filling the room with the scent of  her arousal. It was difficult not to arch into him, and distantly she was grateful that he was keeping her pinned down. 

“Stay still for me, pretty, okay?” Seokjin whispered into her ear, his voice thickened with honey, Y/N squeezing her eyes shut and going absolutely still obediently, egged on by the pet name. 

With a gentle kiss to her throat, Seokjin bared his teeth, swiftly sinking them into his chosen spot with a hum. Y/N felt the edges of her vision go fuzzy, not even feeling the pain of his incisors in her neck, instead focusing on the way Seokjin’s grip on her wrists tightened, his other hand bracing his weight beside her face. 

Floating to the ceiling, Seokjin pulled his teeth from the mark, loopiness taking over Y/N as the jaguar hybrid cauterized the wound, catching stray droplets of blood with his tongue. Finally, he let go of her wrists, Y/N immediately diving her fingertips into Seokjin’s hair, the jaguar hybrid purring loudly at the sensation. With him still very much on top of her, Y/N didn’t move an inch. If it weren’t for the fact that she still had to talk to Yoongi at any moment, she probably would have gone to sleep with a smile and the jaguar hybrid laying on top of her like a weighted blanket. 

Nuzzling his face into her neck, he gave the bite one last goofily loud peck, making Y/N giggle deliriously. Wrapping his arms around her middle, Seokjin rolled sideways with Y/N pressed to his chest, and Y/N couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling up in her chest due to the post-scent haze. 

Pulling away a few inches, Seokjin’s eyes twinkled in amusement as he watched her dissolve into hysterics, cupping her face like he did earlier that day, and to Y/N’s astonishment, began planting loud kisses all over her face, heightening her delight. Seokjin was affectionate, but never to that degree, and once again she felt herself growing shy under all of the attention. 

“Aw, look at you. Blushing,” Seokjin cooed after placing one last kiss on the tip of her nose, looking far too pleased with himself. “Sorry if I caught you off guard. I needed you to smell like me again.”

Blinking, Y/N watched Seokjin become bashful, scratching the back of his neck as he helped Y/N sit up, one of his arms still hooked around her waist securely. 

“What do you mean, honey?” Y/N felt like she had cotton stuffed in her mouth, leaning into Seokjin as he smoothed her hair back into place.

“My scent on you. It was almost completely faded, so I would have had to do that soon anyways, but I wanted to get rid of what’s left of Hannah’s scent from earlier today that was still clinging to you,” Seokjin explained, Y/N’s mouth dropping open. 

“Oh,” Y/N blurted, Seokjin’s ears fluttering at the sound. “Why?” 

With this, Seokjin frowned, ducking his head so he could make eye contact with her, apparently confused that she would even ask such a thing. 

“You already smell like six other hybrids. I don’t want to add a seventh to that bunch, besides my own,” Seokjin said seriously, Y/N’s skin on fire. With that statement, her jealousy towards Hannah earlier that day all but disappeared– the sensation replaced with butterflies soaring in her stomach. 

“Oh,” Y/N repeated softly, Seokjin’s grin returning as he helped her to her feet. 

“Speaking of scents. I smell Yoongi, I think he had the same idea as you,” Seokjin kept an arm around her as they headed to his door, Y/N’s knees like jelly as she remembered the conversation she was about to have. “Maybe he’ll play you a lullaby before bed!”

“That would be nice, Seokjinnie,” Y/N sighed, thankful for the calmness that came over her post-bite. “You should get some rest, too. Your eyes are almost completely shut!”

Facing him before she departed, Y/N felt her love for the jaguar hybrid almost completely drown and overwhelm her, him seemingly so at peace and soft around the edges at that moment. And in that moment, she allowed herself to pretend they were together, and all of the messiness was long behind them. 

“Mmm. I forgot how much that can take out of me,” Seokjin blushed pink like the walls of his room, shifting from foot to foot. “I had a nice day with you today. Get some sleep after Yoongi plays that lullaby for you, alright?”

Unable to help herself, Y/N gently yanked on the front of Seokjin’s tee shirt, pressing her face into his chest and squeezing him around his middle. Deep, relaxed purrs vibrated against her cheek, Seokjin squeezing her back with equal amounts of force with his arms clasped around her hips. 

“Okay, goodnight, honey, see you in the morning,” Y/N mumbled into his chest, reluctant to let him go. However, she was running a bit late to her meeting with Yoongi, and if she stayed in Seokjin’s room any longer, she’d never leave. 

“Goodnight,” Seokjin whispered, releasing her and watching her shut his door as she left, her heart still galloping and vision a little fuzzy post-bite. The last thing she saw was the feline glow of his eyes in the darkened hallway. 

Slipping into the music room, nothing indicated that Yoongi was in there besides the battery-operated candles littered around the room, illuminating his form by the window, looking out into the backyard. Y/N had managed to compose herself during the short tip-toed walk from Seokjin’s room to her original destination, securely locking the soundproof door with a small expulsion of air, 

“Angel,” Y/N hummed, sitting heavily on the loveseat and waiting for him to join her, the leopard hybrid moving noiselessly from the window to the couch, Y/N barely able to make out his features in the low lighting. 

“You’re late,” Yoongi scolded, though there wasn’t much force behind the words as he sat beside her. “And you’re covered in Eau de Seokjin.”

“Um, sorry?” Y/N offered, Yoongi shrugging indifferently as Y/N cuddled up to his side indulgently. 

“No you’re not,” Yoongi teased, one of his arms draping over her shoulders as she curled into him, rolling her eyes. “Lucky for you, he’s dense.”

“So, he’s not one of the ones you’re worried about? Don’t think he’s caught on to… anything?” 

“I’m not sure. If he has, he’s not letting me near enough to come to that conclusion,” Yoongi replied, letting Y/N snuggle into his shoulder. “It’s Namjoon you need to worry about. He’s watching me like a hawk. If he flies off the handle and gets in your face again, I’ll break his fucking legs.”

“You absolutely will not. I’ll make you foot the hospital bill with your earnings from Daisy’s lessons if you do,” Y/N poked Yoongi in the chest, the leopard hybrid growling as if in warning. “Joonie’s softened up anyways. I’m worried about Tae. You know how he follows me around, how he can close himself off.”

“Yeah, me too. He’s really attached to you, I don’t see him reacting well,” Yoongi sighed, pinching his nose bridge delicately. “On the bright side, I don’t think any of those idiots are aware you’re in love with them.”

Y/N flinched, that being the first time Yoongi didn’t beat around the bush when it came to her feelings about the others, gawking at Yoongi with alarm. His expression was neutral, like he had just given her a 10-day forecast. 

“Jesus, Yoongi,” Y/N breathed, pulling away from him so she could rub her arms that were now covered in a chill. “Way to cut to the chase.”

“Well, it’s late. I don’t want to keep you up for much longer, so it’s better to just say things plainly,” Yoongi deadpanned, tugging her back into his arms by her shirtsleeve. “Come here, love.”

“What should I do, then?” Y/N redirected the conversation, Yoongi playing with the ends of her hair. 

“Just… talk to them. If you don’t want to confess your feelings yet, fine. But they have to know about us before we get caught.”

Y/N grumbled, tracing her fingers along the silver chain around Yoongi’s neck contemplatively. She was preparing herself for a total shitshow; Namjoon could go either way– furious or indifferent– Taehyung could withdraw, her easy friendship with Hoseok may become strained and awkward. The whole situation had her sick to her stomach with worry, and there was no way she could come up with to break the news that wouldn’t cause a glaring rift.

“What do you think about Jeongguk, Jimin? How do you think they’ll… take it?” 

“I don’t think Jeongguk will give a shit, to be honest,” Yoongi responded after a pause, shivering when Y/N’s fingertips grazed the sensitive skin of his throat. “Jimin is another one who has caught on, I think. Haven’t you noticed he’s sort of been avoiding the two of us?”

Y/N stilled, going over her memories of the past few weeks. Jimin had been outside more than usual, going on long rides around the property’s trails with each horse they had in their stables, clearing away brush in the area he wanted to place the garden beds in the spring, and repairing the old greenhouse in the backyard. Y/N could only remember him being indoors at night, usually with a book, and he definitely didn’t put up with mindless chit chat with Hoseok like he used to. Worrying her lower lip with her teeth, Y/N felt like talking to him in the morning would be a good idea.

“I think Seokjin will be fine, too. You could smack him across the face and he’d still dote on you,” Yoongi pointed out, Y/N grimacing at his amused expression. 

“I’m glad you’re finding this all too amusing, angel,” Y/N frowned, crossing her arms over her chest while Yoongi’s rumbled with laughter behind her. “I’m gonna have a nervous breakdown.”

“Hey, don’t worry too much. It’ll all work out eventually, you know. They can’t resent you for being in love,” Yoongi turned off the theatrics, smoothing a hand down her back. “Besides. I’ve got you.”

“I know,” Y/N murmured, reaching up to cup one of his cheeks and kissing the other gently. “I’ve got you too.”

“Talk to them this week,” Yoongi pressed his forehead against hers, his hand coming up to wrap around the wrist that was still beside his face. “You have to, alright, love?”

“Yeah. Don’t wanna sneak around anymore,” Y/N’s expression turned wicked, hand moving from Yoongi’s cheek to the back of his neck, tugging on the long locks of his hair. 

“Impatient little one,” Yoongi chided with a snicker, giving her a chaste kiss on her mouth, Y/N thinking that wasn’t nearly enough. “Go to bed, now.”

“Can you play me a lullaby first?” Y/N used her best doe-eyed expression, Yoongi melting instantly, grabbing her hand and letting her lean her head on his shoulder while he played her a gentle, lilting tune. 

Even though she went to bed late, Y/N got up weepingly early, wanting to catch Jimin before he disappeared into the backyard the entire day. Bundling up in her warmest sweater and jeans, she covered up Seokjin’s mark on her throat with a scarf, following the scent of coffee into the kitchen. Yoongi wasn’t up yet, but the coffee maker was on an automatic timer, so Y/N helped herself to a to-go cup, feeling cozy and warm in the coat Hoseok and Seokjin got for her. No one appeared to be awake yet, and all Y/N could hear beside the whistling wind outside was movement coming from down the hall where Jimin’s bedroom was. Deciding to just wait for him, Y/N perched herself in the breakfast nook, admiring the crystalline frost covering the grass in the backyard. 

It was the coldest winter Y/N had experienced in a while, the sky gray almost every single day, the pond in the backyard frozen solid and icicles clinging to the eaves of the roof. Sipping her coffee, not even bothering to stir cream and sugar into it at that point, Y/N heard the heavy thunking sounds of Jimin walking through the foyer in his steel-toed boots, the sound stopping when he was in the threshold of the kitchen. Y/N tore her gaze from the backyard, smiling at the coyote hybrid brightly, pure astonishment on his face when he saw her sitting there in her coat and boots. 

“Good morning!” Y/N greeted Jimin cheerfully, his yellow eyes wide with shock, Y/N trying not to giggle as he attempted to disguise his expression. 

“What are you doing awake so early, Y/N?” Jimin asked, his voice still rough with sleep as he composed himself, tentatively reaching the coffee carafe with his ears alert and cautious. “I thought you liked to sleep in on your days off.”

“I wanted to help you out with the animals this morning. You know, earn my keep,” Y/N joked, Jimin snorting softly. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Jimin spun on his heel, cocking head with color in his cheeks, Y/N unable to help the smirk growing across her face. Jimin was very easy to tease, no matter how much of a smooth talker he could be. 

“You’ve been trying to figure out where to put the garden beds too, right? Maybe I can help!” Y/N continued, getting up from her seat to get closer to the coyote hybrid, who was pushing a hand through his blonde hair with a nod. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I know you wanted to talk to me about what you want to grow, too,” Jimin replied, appearing torn between wanting to hang out with her and being a little jittery about it. 

“Okay, let’s go then!” Y/N hooked her elbow with Jimin’s, fingers grappling with the soft suede of his jacket as she pulled him outside, Jimin able to take about three sips of his coffee before she was dragging him away from the warmth of their home. 

Following the paving stones towards the back of the property, Y/N clung as close as she could to Jimin’s warmth, both of their breaths making clouds in front of them in the frosty air. The sun was low in the sky, truthfully still rising, but it looked like another overcast gray January day. 

“Looks great out here, Jimin! I can’t believe you were able to clear out all that brush in front of the pond. Now we’ll be able to see it when we have lunch on the picnic table in the spring,” Y/N squeezed Jimin’s arm, the coyote hybrid’s ears flattening bashfully. 

“Well, Taehyung helped, of course,” Jimin admitted, his boots making the grass crunch beneath his steps. “He filled in that mud pit with the gravel, too.”

“It’s shaping up back here! I’m going to call a contractor and see what they can do with that little guest house. I think it would be nice to turn it into a place to watch movies in the summer, like a fort! What do you think?” Y/N nudged Jimin’s hip with her own, crossing over the little bridge over the brook, the stable in her sights. 

“I like that idea,” Jimin grinned down at Y/N, one of his pointed incisors flashing at her. “Why call a contractor though? I think we have renovations down to a certain science.”

“Fair,�� Y/N agreed, breaking free from Jimin once they reached the chicken coop, the hens coming out of their little house like they sensed Jimin’s presence, the rooster squawking loudly. “Eek, Bandit scares me. I think he wants to eat Hoseok.”

Y/N pointed at the black rooster, the thing squawking at her again out of spite, Y/N thought. Jimin laughed heartily, turning on the tap so he could fill the chicken’s water trough with a hose. After blowing hot air into her fists, Y/N reached for the bag of chicken feed, giving Bandit a wide berth as she scattered food around the pen, humming merrily. 

“Y/N, here’s the basket for the eggs. I’m going to check in on the horses, alright?” Jimin reached over the fence of the pen with a wicker basket in his hand, encouraging her to take it. “Watch out for Bandit, he’ll go for your ankles when you least expect it.”

“Gee, thanks,” Y/N mumbled, watching Jimin stroll away with a smirk on his face, taking it upon herself to stare at the way Jimin’s jeans hugged his legs. 

She felt around the coop for eggs, gently nestling them in the basket as she went, using a free hand to shove Bandit away when he came snooping around her pant leg. She thought about maybe making a frittata for breakfast with the sheer amount of eggs she was pulling from the coop, fist-bumping the air when she placed the final one in the basket. Urgently leaving the pen before Bandit could chase her into a corner, Y/N set the basket down, gazing around the backyard curiously. 

The brand-new exercise pen was made up of wood that was still a pale, power-washed color, and Jimin had stacked materials to construct the garden beds nearby, where the old-fashioned green copper penny greenhouse was several yards away. Jimin had certainly kept himself busy in the past few weeks, stacks of bagged soil already beside the greenhouse and rakes strewn about. He had even replaced the milky, cracked glass on the greenhouse, the new windows shining in the early morning sunlight. 

Clicking her tongue, she made her way into the stable in search of the coyote hybrid, the building a few degrees warmer than the outside air but still drafty. Jimin had once explained to her that horses didn’t need space heaters, which Y/N wanted to get for them, with barely-contained amusement on his face. Shivering, she spotted Jimin with Vista towards the back of the stable, placing a blanket over her back. 

“Whatcha doing?” Y/N eyed the bridle he was holding, giving his horse a pat on her neck. 

“I was going to take her out and practice her jumps. It’s been a while, and I don’t want her to be bored,” Jimin expertly placed a saddle on her back, eyes flashing to Y/N making a tiny braid in the horse’s mane. “Why don’t you tell me what kinds of things you want to grow in the garden, so I can order seeds?”

“Ooh, let me think…” Y/N continued braiding Vista’s mane, hoping that Jimin didn’t mind. “We’ll have to do things seasonally, some things grow at different times of year, which I’m sure you know.”

“Actually, I don’t have too much experience with gardening. I’m better with animals and general landscaping, I think,” Jimin chuckled, leaving Vista clipped to one of the straps on the wall that kept the horse in place, grabbing a pitchfork to shovel fresh hay into Willow’s stall. “We’ll do some research, just snowball some basic ideas for me.”

“Hmm… cabbage, definitely. It’s hardy, we can make kimchi and stews with it. Leeks, peas, those are early spring veggies we can grow, too. I know Yoongi really loves tangerines, and Jeongguk likes bananas, but we don’t exactly live in a tropical environment so we can’t do that. Later on, though, we can grow strawberries in the summer, maybe even some blueberries, tomatoes. Carrots, celery, and onion for soups?” Y/N rambled, gazing towards the lofty ceiling of the stable as she went. “Ooh, and I want to make a smaller garden bed for all kinds of herbs, so we can use that for cooking and my practice. I think it would be nice to plant some flowers in one of the beds, too, to attract pollinators and butterflies!”

“Sounds like you’ve given this quite a bit of thought,” Jimin said, surprise coloring his tone. “I’ll have to get started on the beds. Thankfully we can use that greenhouse to sprout the seedlings.”

“Will you let me help you make the garden beds, Jimin? I know you’re worried I might injure myself with a hammer or something, but I did renovate all of your bedrooms prior to even knowing you. And the kitchen. A simple garden bed will be nothing for me,” Y/N jut her lower lip out, wondering if pouting worked on Jimin like it did with Yoongi. 

Jimin blinked, placing the pitchfork back in its spot, approaching her and Vista again. By then, she had braided half of Vista’s dark mane mindlessly, the horse placidly letting her do what she wanted. 

“If it’ll make you happy, then sure,” Jimin conceded, pulling his jeans up by his belt. “I don’t underestimate you. I apologize for making you feel that way, Y/N.”

Taken aback, her pouting working a little too well, Y/N put her hands up in alarm. 

“Oh, shit, Jimin. You don’t have to apologize, you’re well aware that I have clumsy tendencies. I’m not insulted or anything, I swear,” Y/N blurted, Jimin’s eyes going wide as soon as an expletive left her mouth. “Sorry for swearing. I regret to inform you that my mouth is just about as filthy as Jeongguk’s…”

After a beat, Jimin’s shoulders started shaking, his eyes turning into slits as he laughed at her, Y/N spellbound by his joy as always. 

“I know, Y/N. It’s funny though, you’re always trying to watch your mouth around me. I grew up with ranchers, remember? Crude as they come,” Jimin’s voice was strained in between his laughter, unclipping Vista from the wall as he spoke. 

“So you’ve been letting me act like Anne of fucking Green Gables for months for your own amusement?” Y/N exclaimed, Jimin’s laughter growing louder and more untamed. “You all love to fuck with me, huh?”

“What does Hoseok say?” Jimin gathered Vista’s reins in one of his fists, guiding her forward towards the stable’s exit. “You make it too easy.”

Muttering, she followed Jimin outside, realizing the only hybrid she adopted that didn’t tease her whenever he got the chance was Namjoon. Even Seokjin had begun to show his cheeky, prankster-type side, but the wolf hybrid was a bit too stiff to crack jokes at her expense. 

“It’s all fun and games until I start making cowboy jokes,” Y/N threatened, Jimin lifting an eyebrow at her as if to dare her. “I didn’t even notice those hurdles, did you make them yourself?”

Y/N watched Jimin unlatch the gate to the exercise pen, eyes on the freshly painted hurdles scattered around the area, all with varying heights and widths. The coyote hybrid was certainly making use of the Home Depot gift certificate he got in his stocking for Christmas, as well as the company’s delivery service. With a swish of his sandy tail, Jimin led Vista in the pen, Y/N unsure if she should follow or hang out by the fence and simply watch. 

“Yeah, I learned how to make those when I was a kid. Simple enough,” Jimin replied, the morning sun crawling higher in the sky, making his hair look even more honeyed than usual. “Here, take a seat.”

Jimin let go of Vista’s reins, the horse obediently staying put as he approached Y/N casually, and before she could ask where exactly she should sit, she was hauled into the coyote hybrid’s arms, feet dangling pathetically in the air. Yelping, she struggled in Jimin’s grip on her body, the hybrid promptly placing her sideways on Vista’s back, Y/N immediately beginning to quake. 

“Jimin!” Y/N hissed, instinctively swinging one of her legs over the horse’s back so she was seated in the saddle properly, arms around Vista’s neck in a desperate attempt not to fall off. 

“Relax, Y/N,” Jimin snorted, gathering the reins and offering them to her. “You’re fine.”

“The closest I’ve ever gotten to riding a horse is when my dad made me get on a donkey at the zoo when I was seven,” Y/N protested, taking the reins like they were a lifeline. “Is this payback for the cowboy joke threat?”

“Relax,” Jimin repeated, using a stirrup to expertly hoist himself up, Y/N growing even stiffer when the coyote hybrid settled himself behind her, arms coming around to place his hands over hers on the reins. “Straighten up, lean back, if you’re nervous. I won’t let you fall.”

Doing just that, Y/N pressed her back into Jimin’s solid chest, shakily squeezing her thighs on either side of the horse’s body, Jimin’s hands rough but gentle on top of hers. 

“Good. Progress,” Jimin murmured into her ear, a note of smug satisfaction in his tone. “You mentioned that you wanted to learn how to ride. Better to catch you off guard before you talk yourself out of it.”

“Right,” Y/N replied weakly, Jimin giving her simple instructions on how to get the horse to move forward, turn in certain directions, and stop. “You know, this reminds me of that picture of you and your sister. What’s her name? You never told me.”

They were making slow circles around the exercise pen, Jimin’s presence behind her protective and soothing, his rugged voice in her ear. 

“Her name is Seonmi, she’s three years younger than me. About your age,” Jimin replied softly, Y/N feeling his hand’s squeeze over hers. “She was nervous about riding at first, like you. But now she does the bulk of the horse training.”

“Seonmi is a pretty name. I bet you miss her lots,” Y/N said, Jimin sighing behind her.

“Of course I do,” Jimin started, the two making their fifth lap around the pen. “But like I said before, I don’t have any regrets.”

“We could visit your family soon, if you’d like. I had Ben do some digging, and there’s nothing that says you can’t visit with them, as long as I’m with you and we bring your adoption certificate,” Y/N proposed, thankful for Jimin’s warmth as a biting breeze rolled by. “What do you think? When’s the weather nice in Montana?”

Jimin fell silent, nothing but the sound of Vista’s hooves clomping away on the beaten-down earth emphasizing the lack of Jimin’s response. Y/N gave him time to process, as she pretty much dropped a bombshell on him, his left hand retreating from the back of hers and his forearm curling around her middle snugly. 

“July, it’s the warmest and when the park looks the most beautiful,” Jimin’s voice was throaty, his hold on her tender. “I– didn’t know that you were looking into that for me. You’re serious, we can visit?”

Y/N craned her neck to the side so she could get a look at Jimin’s face, and it was much closer than she thought it was, the coyote hybrid seeking eye contact with her through his light eyelashes. Able to smell his lavender shampoo from such a short distance, Y/N found herself staring right at Jimin’s mouth, his lips tempting and nearer than ever.

“Of course I’m serious, it’s your family! We’ll go whenever you want, however frequently you want, too,” Y/N insisted, her thighs beginning to ache from straddling Vista for so long. “Just say the word, I’ll get us flights.”

Jimin cleared his throat, staring straight ahead, appearing to try and push down overwhelming emotion. 

“Want to try a jump?”

“Huh? Jimin, I’ve barely learned how to steer her, you want me to try a jump?” Y/N spluttered, surprised that he changed the subject so abruptly. 

“I’m behind you, nothing will go wrong. I’ll tell you exactly what to do,” Jimin’s easy confidence made a comeback, Y/N picturing a smirk on his face as he squeezed her around the middle. 

With that, Jimin told her how to lift herself out of the saddle, lean forward, and stay in position during the jump, Y/N feeling less nervous with Jimin behind her and his clear expertise. Besides, there was something freeing about the idea of sailing through the air, so Y/N began to get excited as they approached one of the hurdles, her heart racing. 

“You can do it,” Jimin encouraged, giving her hip an encouraging pat, Vista speeding up and Y/N lifting herself out of the saddle with her back still pressed to Jimin’s chest, whooping loudly as Vista successfully flew over the hurdle. “That’s it! You’re a natural.”

“Yeah, if you weren’t behind me, though, I would have fallen on my ass,” Y/N was riding the high of his praise, enjoying every second of her time with Jimin even if she was frozen solid. 

After a few more jumps, Y/N’s thighs were truly starting to go numb, humbling her by how out of shape she was. She knew she should probably head back into the house soon to have some breakfast, her stomach growling loudly once they landed a final jump. 

“Ah, you should go in now. Don’t want you to get frostbite, and by the sounds of it, you’re famished,” Jimin brought Vista to a halt, swiftly and gracefully sliding off of the horse, his hand outstretched for Y/N’s. 

“Are you going to come with me?” Y/N asked, trying to keep the whine out of her voice at the thought of parting with him, his citrine eyes twinkling with amusement as she placed her hand in his. 

Using his free hand, Jimin hooked his forearm around Y/N’s lower back, lifting her gently off of the saddle and setting her down on her feet, keeping his arm in place as she shook the feeling back into her legs. His ears were perked up as she groaned softly, the blood rushing to her stiff muscles and giving her pins and needles. 

“I’m going to take the other horses out for exercise, too. It won’t take too long, I’ll come in for lunch later. Have a few more windows to replace on the greenhouse,” Jimin scratched the back of his neck, again looking a bit conflicted. Yoongi was right, Jimin was definitely trying to get some distance, using tasks outside as excuses. 

“Oh, alright,” Y/N watched Jimin pat Vista’s neck distractedly, his nose twitching. “I’ll see you then. Thanks for the riding lesson, it was a lot of fun!”

“Anytime, Y/N. In the spring, we can take longer rides on the trail together,” Jimin’s nose was still twitching, Y/N wondering if he could smell her suspicion that he knew something about her and Yoongi, but his sweet smile gave nothing away. “Head in now, don’t forget the eggs.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Y/N watched the coyote hybrid usher Vista back into the stable, scooping up the basket of eggs by the coop before she started back to the house. 

Y/N thought that she’d be able to tell right away if Jimin knew anything, as he typically was easier to read than a book with his earnest expressions. The only indication that something was awry was his insistence on hanging outside for hours on end. Thankfully, she thought, he was just as laid-back and friendly as he always was, and if he did know something, it wasn’t preventing him from treating Y/N normally. 

As she approached the house, she saw that Taehyung and Yoongi were in the kitchen, the former changing out the lens on his camera for a different one. Yoongi, however, was in the middle of stirring coffee in two separate mugs– one of them, she assumed, for her. 

Monday night, Y/N came home with a packet of information about the haunting her, Jeongguk, and Namjoon were going to investigate, sighing blissfully as the scent of homemade pasta sauce filled the house. Kicking off her shoes and hanging up her bag, she was too beat from helping Judy with the busy sale they had that day to discuss more mystical subject matter with the two hybrids, so she kept the packet in her bag. All she wanted was to sink into the couch with a bowl of pasta, numbing her brain with whatever show the hybrids were binging that day. 

“Hi, angel,” Y/N padded into the kitchen, finding him by himself, stirring the pasta sauce with a wooden spoon. “How was your day? The lesson with Daisy?”

“Good. She learned Twinkle Twinkle faster than you,” Yoongi winked at her, Y/N tugging on a lock of his hair in retribution. “You? You look exhausted.”

“Yeah, we had a pop-up sale today. 60% off on crystals, 30% on jewelry. Place was jammed with ladies that look like my mom,” Y/N complained, mouth watering at the scent of tomato and basil. Or perhaps it was the smell of Yoongi’s spicy vanilla cologne. “Where is everyone?”

“Taehyung’s in his darkroom. Ghostbusters are outside, Foxy and Jimin are sawing wood for whatever project the coyote cooked up this time,” Yoongi hummed as Y/N wrapped an arm around his waist as he cooked, leaning her chin on his shoulder tiredly. “Seokjin’s in his room.”

“It’s getting dark, I’m worried that someone is going to lose a finger sawing,” Y/N peered over her shoulder to look outside, but she couldn’t really make anything out with the waning sunlight. 

“Don’t sweat it. They can see better than you in the dark, silly girl,” Yoongi set down the wooden spoon, turning on his heel and grabbing Y/N by her hips, threading his fingers through the belt loops of her jeans. “Missed you.”

“Oh, did you?” Y/N pushed hair out of his face, tucking a strand of it behind his ear, playfully flicking one of the hoops threaded through it. “Careful, baby…”

“It’s fine, no one’s here,” Yoongi pulled her closer, Y/N bracing herself by placing her hands on his chest, his voice gravelly and quiet. 

Blushing, her eyes fluttered shut, secretly thrilled that he was being so bold, and maybe by the possibility of being caught, even if it caused a total shitshow. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she sighed softly at the feeling of Yoongi’s lips on hers, sweet and soft. One of his hands cradled the side of her face as he kissed her, Y/N’s arms looping around his neck as she attempted to deepen the kiss by swiping her tongue over his lower lip. 

Things came to a shattering halt when the slider to the backyard was yanked open, Y/N springing apart from Yoongi with utter horror. Apparently, throwing caution to the wind had thoroughly fucked her. 

“Oh shit, wolf, you called it. How much do I owe you?” Jeongguk strolled into the kitchen cockily, arms crossed over his chest as he looked from Y/N to Yoongi. “Twenty bucks?”

Namjoon was behind the elk hybrid, his expression made of stone as he watched Y/N grapple for the countertop so she wouldn’t pass out. Neither of them seemed pissed, but Y/N had absolutely no idea what to say. 

To make matters worse, Jimin was leaning against the coffee bar after slipping inside behind Namjoon, and Hoseok was standing in the doorway with huge, shocked eyes and letting frigid air into the house. 

“I– I,” Y/N panicked, noticing the slight disappointment all over Jimin’s face, and the way Hoseok was standing so stiffly, it was like he was being electrocuted. “Um, I, we–”

“Were kissing as friends?” Jeongguk rolled his eyes, wrestling a beer from the fridge. “Please.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Yoongi hissed, Y/N stiffening as he put an arm around her waist, squeezing tightly. 

“Y/N… you… do you like him?” Hoseok snapped out of whatever was keeping him stationary in the doorframe, hastily shutting the slider. 

There was silence, Jimin looking at the floor, Namjoon simply watching with a neutral expression, and Jeongguk sipping his beer with an amused smirk. Feeling bile crawl up her throat, there was no escaping her current situation, the only thing holding her upright being Yoongi’s strong arm around her. Through her embarrassment, though, she was comforted by the leopard hybrid’s presence, and it was enough to spark some bravery. 

“I love him,” Y/N admitted, her voice wobbly but sure. 

“Jesus,” Jeongguk shook his head, picking his nails and glancing at Namjoon across the room. “I guess I owe you forty bucks.”

“I’m sorry, you two made bets?” Hoseok composed himself, looking absolutely incredulous. “What the fuck? How did you even know this was going on?”

“You’re not very perceptive,” was all Namjoon said, still not giving Y/N any idea how he was feeling. “I noticed weeks ago.”

Quaking, Y/N felt her lower lip tremble, not knowing if she was going to cry or not. 

“So, what. Are you two just gonna be together from now on?” Jeongguk inquired, Y/N astonished that Yoongi was completely right– Jeongguk didn’t give a shit about the two of them being romantically involved. 

“That a problem?” Yoongi spoke up, a growl low in his throat. 

“Not for me,” Jeongguk drained the rest of his beer, getting up from the barstool he was sitting on and walking by Namjoon, tossing two twenty dollar bills at the wolf hybrid’s chest. “Let me know when the food’s ready, I’m gonna shower.”

With that, the elk hybrid left the room, leaving Y/N reeling. 

“Um, the rest of you?” Y/N chewed on her lip, glancing at the other three hybrids scattered around the kitchen. Jimin had a difficult time looking at her, and Hoseok was being weird, rolling an apple from the fruit basket on the countertop back and forth. 

“Do what you want, Y/N. It’s your life,” Namjoon answered smoothly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Can we talk about the case later, though?”

Completely caught off guard that Namjoon, too, didn’t seem to care, nor did he fly off the handle, Y/N blinked at him, shakily nodding her head. Once that was confirmed, Namjoon took a seat in the breakfast nook, pulling out a book from his hoodie pocket and taking himself out of the conversation. 

Hoseok shrugged, returning the apple to the basket, heading towards the foyer with his sunny grin back on his face– always managing to bounce back. 

“I second what the wolf said. None of my business, and if you’re happy then that’s all that matters. Keep the making out in front of me to a minimum, though, I don’t wanna see you like that, Yoongi,” Hoseok jabbed, whistling his signature tone, leaving the room. Seconds later, Y/N heard the TV turn on in the parlor. 

Jimin, out of the four who walked in on them, was definitely the most perturbed. Gently, she eased Yoongi’s arm off of her, approaching Jimin slowly, and finally he made eye contact with her. 

“Jimin, are you upset?” Y/N asked tentatively, and he shook his head after a short pause. 

“No, Y/N, I’m not upset,” Jimin placed a hand on her forearm, though his lips were still downturned at the corners. “I just wish you had told me sooner. You didn’t have to sneak around.”

Flinching, she hardly recognized the hurt in his voice. Y/N realized he must have taken the “sneaking around” as not trusting him enough to divulge her feelings, and with a pat to her forearm, Jimin made a move to leave the kitchen, too, but not before adding one last statement. 

“You deserve to be happy, Y/N,” Jimin offered her a half-smile, and with a swish of his tail, he was gone. 

“That went remarkably well,” Yoongi broke the silence, Namjoon snorting from his spot at the breakfast nook, rolling his eyes. “Thought you’d be pissed, wolf.”

“I learned my lesson the first time beating the shit out of Taehyung. Solves nothing, and I’m not about to tell Y/N how to live her life.”

Blushing, Y/N was impressed by how much progress Namjoon had made in regards to taming his temper, sheepishly trudging back over to Yoongi. Yoongi, for the first time in weeks, looked relieved, giving Y/N a kiss on her forehead. 

“But… Seokjin, and Tae. Still have to tell them,” Y/N was embarrassed that Yoongi kissed her in front of Namjoon, but the wolf hybrid was absorbed in reading The Secret History and didn’t appear to notice. 

“No you don’t, they definitely heard,” Yoongi grimaced, Y/N flinching again. “Everyone knows now.”

Over the course of the week, everything… pretty much went back to normal, for the most part. Y/N refused to engage in PDA with Yoongi in front of the others, being far too shy for that, but Hoseok was back to his normal self, Jimin had forgiven her for the deception, and Namjoon and Jeongguk acted like nothing had changed at all. 

As for Seokjin, things were a bit awkward, at first, and Y/N noticed that he wasn’t as clingy anymore. Yoongi theorized it was because Seokjin didn’t want to come between him and Y/N, but Y/N didn’t wholly agree. When he came down for dinner on Monday night, he didn’t say anything about her and Yoongi, and he said nothing when Yoongi took the jaguar hybrid’s normal spot beside her. 

Taehyung was an entirely different story. He acted indifferent, but he stared at Yoongi with so much contempt, Y/N thought the somewhat new friendship between them pretty much went up in flames. While Seokjin wasn’t as clingy anymore, Taehyung stopped clinging altogether, going from his photography club to mealtimes to his bedroom. He had been avoiding Y/N all week, much to her dismay. 

Thursday, after work, she corralled Namjoon and Jeongguk into the wolf hybrid’s van to discuss the paranormal case, packet in hand. Trying to push down how weirded out she was that Seokjin and Taehyung were being so distant, she focused on the two hybrids that treated her the same as they did before walking in on her and Yoongi. 

“So, I told Judy that next week we can travel to the family’s house for our first consultation. I’ll make sure it isn’t on a Monday, so it doesn’t conflict with the book club meeting, Joonie.”

She handed Namjoon the packet of information, his grip eager, while Jeongguk lazily lounged in the booth beside her, playing a phone game. 

“The Sanders family. Single mother Erika, her 13-year-old daughter Julie, and 10-year-old son Thomas,” Namjoon read off the top page of the information Judy gave her, waving cigarette smoke out of his face with annoyance. “Do you have to smoke in here?”

“She’s blocking me in this booth, and I don’t want to move,” Jeongguk replied, tapping the ash off of the cigarette into the glass ashtray Y/N had bought for him at a thrift store. “Keep going, I don’t wanna be here all night.”

“The activity started in December. Knocks on the walls, doors opening and closing on their own. The daughter reported seeing a shadow in the shape of a man in her room one night. Odd smells tend to linger in the air, seemingly coming out of nowhere…” 

“Demon,” Jeongguk commented helpfully, turning off the phone game he was playing. “Sounds like a script from a movie.”

“I haven’t even read it all, yet. You think everything is a goddamn demon,” Namjoon snarled, tossing the packet at Jeongguk’s face, his ear twitching in agitation. “It seems that most of the activity is surrounding the daughter.”

“Further proves my theory. Demons tend to prey on adolescents,” Jeongguk flipped through the packet, using a highlighter on various sentences printed out on the paper. “Maybe she was messing around with a Ouija board, or hanging out with her friends in a cemetery or something.”

“We won’t know until we interview her,” Y/N pointed out. “I agree with Jeongguk. It Sounds like it might be a demonic haunting. We’ll have to do a cleansing of the entire property, do protection magic on each family member, and put up wards for them.”

“Good, a tentative plan,” Namjoon relented, using a legal pad to jot things down. “I’m gonna make a list of materials we might need.”

After an hour spent with the two hybrids coming up with a plan of attack, Y/N headed back into the house, hoping to catch Taehyung when he arrived back from the photography club. Her mother took him, Hoseok, and Yoongi to the rec center for their activities, and would be dropping them off any moment. 

Hanging up her coat, she took a seat on the staircase, spotting headlights pulling up to the front of the property. Squirming in her seat, she hoped that Taehyung would allow her to talk to him, and as the front door swung open, Hoseok bolted inside, smiling brightly at Y/N and ruffling her hair, cheekily grabbing her hand to haul her to her feet. Though covered in sweat, he still looked handsome, the ends of his hair damp on his forehead. 

“How was it today?” Y/N let go of Hoseok’s clammy hand, the fox hybrid whistling. 

“Hard. Ran like four miles. I gotta shower, Yoongi said I reek,” Hoseok complained, though Y/N could tell he had a good time. 

 Next though the door was Taehyung, his eyes going wide once he realized Y/N was blocking the way of both of his hiding spots. Smirking, Hoseok ditched her, skipping down the steps to the basement while whistling a tune. 

“Hey, Tae,” Y/N tried her best to act natural, Taehyung’s fist tightening on the bag containing his camera. “I’ve been missing you, lately. Working hard on photos for the next expo?”

Taehyung didn’t reply, shifting from foot to foot, relief washing over his face as Yoongi appeared in the foyer, dressed in his athletic wear and similarly as sweaty as Hoseok was. However, once Taehyung realized it was Yoongi, his face became screwed up with an unreadable expression. 

“Hi, baby,” Yoongi went right up to Y/N, Taehyung going stiff as he watched Yoongi plant a chaste kiss on her mouth with a devilish smirk, pulling her in for a very sweaty hug. 

“Ah! Angel, you’re all sweaty,” Y/N exclaimed, her fingertips slipping against the damp flesh of his biceps. Once Yoongi pulled Y/N into the embrace, there was enough space for Taehyung to squeak by her, and he did, bolting up the stairs like he was on fire. 

“You did that on purpose,” Y/N accused, eyeing Taehyung’s form disappearing into his bedroom. 

“What, can’t kiss my girl?” Yoongi blinked innocently, though the corner of his mouth pulled upwards gave away his mischievous intentions. 

“Go bathe, I’m making dinner tonight,” Y/N muttered, poking his shoulder and gesturing to the stairs. 

“Okay, baby,” Yoongi shot her a wink, Y/N’s mouth drying up at the sight of his arms flexing as he gripped the stair’s bannister. “Try not to burn yourself in my absence.”

Giving him the finger while his back was turned, she watched him slouch up the stairs, butterflies in her stomach. 

The next day, Friday, Y/N had off, and she nervously checked her appearance in the mirror before she worked up the courage to meet Yoongi in the music room for her lesson. She was unsure as to why she was feeling jittery, as she swiped some berry-flavored lip balm on, she had had dozens of lessons with him, but that day, circumstances were different. Now that everyone knew that they were together, they didn’t have to hide. They could…

Shaking her head, she tossed whatever dirty thought that was beginning to form aside, jerkily adjusting the elastic band of her loose fabric pants. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, making her take her attention off of her reflection. 

Yoongi 👼🏻: coming?

Unable to put it off anymore, Y/N left her room, scampering upstairs. With mostly everyone else either outside with the animals or hanging out in Namjoon’s van, Taehyung editing photos in the downstairs office, she didn’t bump into anyone on the way to the music room. Like always, she promptly shut and locked the door behind her, gritting her teeth at the sound of Yoongi snickering from across the room. 

“You’re always laughing at me,” Y/N griped, turning to get a good look at her leopard hybrid. He looked amazing, even though he was in simple gray sweatpants and his wine-colored henley. “I just don’t want a repeat of Monday night.”

“Hmm… I get it,” Yoongi put his hands up, using a couple of crooked fingers to beckon her to him. “Though, all things considered, everyone seems to be taking the news well.”

“Yeah, except for Tae,” Y/N said. “Thanks, by the way, for scaring him off yesterday. I really need to talk to him.”

“He’ll come around. I think he wants some space,” Yoongi responded, plopping down on the piano bench. “What do you want to learn today?”

“You’re letting me pick?” Y/N gasped dramatically, getting comfortable beside him. “Wow, you’re not trying to butter me up or something, right?”

“Just pick a song and stop being dramatic, sweetheart,” Yoongi groaned, lifting the fallboard off of the keys. 

“Um… okay, how’s this?” Y/N began seriously, Yoongi reading her features with curiosity. “Bella’s Lullaby.”

“Oh, come on,” Yoongi lightly shoved her by her shoulder, Y/N giggling like a maniac. “I said be serious!”

“If you don’t want to teach me, I could just Google the score,” Y/N sassed, a frown growing on his face.

“Don’t be a brat,” Yoongi snapped, grabbing Y/N’s phone from her and tossing it on the chair across the room. “If that’s what you want to learn, I’ll teach you.”

Y/N was busy trying to get her stomach to stop from flipping over when he called her a brat, praying he didn’t notice her thighs involuntarily pressing together. Grumbling, Yoongi started to scribble notes on blank sheet music, his tail mindlessly curling around her hips. Y/N took her time studying him while he worked, his hair falling into his face and his lower lip tucked between his teeth.

 Continuing her visual perusal of her leopard hybrid, her eyes dropped lower, skimming the elegant column of his neck, the shiny chain clasped around it, lowering her gaze even further to gawk at the way his shirt hugged his biceps. Licking her lips, she focused back on the sheet music, watching the way he gripped the pen, his other hand, she realized, gripping her knee gently. Yoongi’s hands were beautiful; pale, veiny, and strong. Without thinking, she began to trace the veins with her fingertips, Yoongi purring in response. 

“You have pretty hands,” Y/N complimented, fiddling with his index finger as Yoongi shook his head with a smile. 

“Thank you, baby,” Yoongi squeezed her knee, Y/N humiliated that such a simple action sent an electric shock of arousal through her. This time, Y/N was positive Yoongi could tell she was turned on, subtly sniffing the air and eyes darkening a shade. “That’s all?”

“What do you mean?” Y/N shivered at the sound of Yoongi’s deep voice, flames licking her cheek as she felt Yoongi’s hand slide upwards a few inches on her thigh. 

“Nevermind, then,” Yoongi’s tone turned teasing, withdrawing his hand from her thigh, rolling his wrists to warm them up. “I have the first few bars. I’ll have to look up the rest later.”

“Stop teasing me,” Y/N ignored the sheet music he placed on the piano, squirming on the bench. “Yoongi.”

Going still, Yoongi cocked his head at her, ears flattening to his skull as she swung one leg over to straddle the bench, fully facing him now. His sight dropped down, the sound of his purring cutting off as Y/N hoped he got the hint. She was tired of waiting, she wanted him now. 

“Baby,” Yoongi cooed softly, almost in warning, setting his pen down and leveling a charged stare directly in her eyes. “What do you want?”

“Want you,” Y/N answered immediately, without hesitation. “Don’t wanna wait anymore.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi’s gaze turned sharp, feline. “But you were being so patient.”

The leopard hybrid’s touch returned, both of his hands settling on her thighs heavily, Y/N’s breathing beginning to come out in short pants. It was pathetic, truthfully, how quickly she was dissolving into pure want, but she didn’t care, not when he was looking at her like that. 

“My patience has run out,” Y/N hardly knew what they were talking about anymore, tugging Yoongi closer by the collar of his shirt. “I want you.”

Growling, Yoongi’s mouth was on her’s in a heartbeat, his hands gripping her thighs tightly as she wound her fingers into his hair, using the locks as an anchor to prevent him from pulling away. Not wasting any time, Yoongi tilted his head, his lips parting, Y/N mirroring the action to deepen the kiss urgently. Whimpering when she felt his tongue slide against hers, she drank in his taste; sweet from the tangerines he had with his lunch. Tongue sweeping over her gums, exploring, Y/N pressed her chest into his, desperate to be as close as possible. Before long, Yoongi pulled away, Y/N gasping for breath as one of his hands traveled to her lower back, making her spine arch in his grasp. 

“You drive me fucking crazy,” Yoongi grunted, hand on her thigh rubbing up and down the length of it. “Want you, too.”

Mewling into his mouth when he dove back in, her flesh tingled where his fingertips were crawling up the back of her shirt, seeking. She was swelteringly hot and freezing cold at the same time, trying to keep up with the way Yoongi was kissing her so thoroughly. By now, she could feel her underwear starting to stick to her, Yoongi no doubt being able to tell, judging by the way he was groaning against her lips. 

Accidentally, her grip on his hair slipped when he moved to attack her throat with equally passionate kisses and nips, grabbing onto one of his ears. Yoongi hissed against her skin, biting down particularly hard on her collarbone but not breaking the skin. Crying out, she tugged on his ear again in response, Yoongi moaning into the crook of her neck, his heart pounding so fast Y/N could feel it against her chest. So hybrid ears were sensitive, she thought distantly, using her thumb and forefinger to rub a few circles against the silky fur. Meanwhile, Yoongi was busy sucking a bruise into the base of her throat, Y/N’s thighs clenching around the bench, and she wondered if she had already soaked through her panties and her pants. 

Abruptly, Yoongi pulled away, a feral look in his eyes as Y/N’s grip was lost on his ears, her hands reaching to tangle into the fabric of his shirt before her wrists were gathered in one fist, Yoongi lifting them in the air. Confused, she whimpered in protest, wanting to touch him, but Yoongi caught her by surprise by reaching for the hem of her sweater, peeling it upwards quickly and tossing the garment across the room as soon as it was off of her. 

“Yoongi!” Y/N squealed, the leopard hybrid ignoring her as he let go of her wrists, mercifully, her eyes and head rolling backwards at the sensation of Yoongi’s mouth back on her, this time, his attention on the other side of her neck and his hands settling on the small of her naked waist. “Oh.”

Sighing, her eyes slipped shut, unable to prevent the whines of his name coming out of her mouth steadily, weakly gripping his shoulders to keep her tethered to earth. Dragging his tongue along the dip of her collarbone, beside the choker she was wearing, he purred, nipping her once before straightening up. Getting a good handful of her hair, Yoongi angled Y/N’s face back to him, sucking her lower lip into his mouth. 

“So beautiful,” Yoongi murmured in between kisses, a few of his fingers tracking the band of her bra, Y/N gasping when she felt them slide under the fabric. “Need you…”

“Please, Yoongi,” Y/N could hardly recognize her own voice, sounding so wrecked already.

“What is it?” Yoongi asked darkly, plucking up one of her bra straps and letting it smack against her skin when he released it. 

“Touch me,” Y/N begged, nearly ready to pin him to the ground out of frustration. 

Grunting sharply, Yoongi finally snapped, both hands joining each other behind her back, pulling the clasp of her bra free and chucking it to the side without a thought. Normally, in that position, Y/N often grew shy, but there was no room for that when it was Yoongi looking at her like that. Eyes sweeping over her torso, Yoongi’s fingertips traced the sides of her waist with reverence, Y/N’s chest heaving in anticipation. 

Experimentally, his touch migrated across her ribcage, right under the curve of her breasts. Pausing, Yoongi glanced up at Y/N, her lip sucked into her mouth and eyebrows pulled together, he watched, transfixed, delight taking over her expression when his thumbs brushed over her nipples. 

“Fuck,” she whined, arching even more into his touch, her fingernails cutting into the skin of Yoongi’s shoulders even through the fabric of her shirt. Encouraged by her reaction, he pinched one of the buds, growling when she began to tremble and moan his name desperately. 

“Sensitive, baby?” Yoongi hummed, the scent of her arousal starting to make him delirious with lust. Before Y/N could reply, however, Yoongi surged forward, pressing kisses across her chest, and when his lips wrapped around one of her nipples, Yoongi swore she was nearly weeping beneath him. 

“Yoongi, oh–” She managed to grind out, Yoongi flicking the nipple that wasn’t tucked between his lips, loving how responsive she was to his touch. “Oh my god.”

Before he could have too much fun, however, Y/N was yanking him up by his shirt, her eyes wild and lidded. 

“You too,” she panted, tugging on the material of his henley, Yoongi busy admiring the marks he had left all over her throat and chest. Distractedly, he reached behind him, yanking his shirt off and letting it drop to the floor. 

Like he had with her, Y/N soaked in every inch of his chest, automatically tracking her hands all over his skin, the muscles of his stomach clenching at the chill of her fingers. Mouth watering at the sight of him, in just sweatpants and his silver chain, Y/N hooked a finger around the necklace and pulled Yoongi in for another searing kiss. 

Y/N moaned at the sensation of their bare chests pressed together, Yoongi sucking on her tongue, and she was now positive she had soaked through her pants. Moaning again, this time in protest, considering Yoongi was getting off the bench and pulling away from her. Mouth dropped open to ask where he was going, she squeaked when he dropped to his knees in front of her, forcefully moving her leg so she was sitting on the bench properly, the leopard hybrid sitting between her parted knees. Attempting to close them, Yoongi shot her a warning look before pushing them apart again. 

“You’re so perfect,” Yoongi sighed, hands once again on her thighs as he trailed kisses down her sternum, stopping for a moment to lave over one of her nipples. He was painfully hard at that point, her endless string of mewls and moans making his head spin. “Being so good for me.”

He continued his path down her body, stamping open-mouthed kisses over the soft swell of her stomach, her hip bones, Y/N’s hips involuntarily twitching as his hair started to tickle the skin around her most sensitive areas. One hand keeping her still by gripping her hip, Yoongi teasingly dipped his fingertips into the waistband of her paints, Y/N imploring him to do something with dollike eyes. 

Daring to look between her legs, Yoongi purred in surprise, realizing she had soaked straight through her pale blue cotton pants, the material a darker blue, clinging to her center. 

“Angel,” Y/N whined, a note of embarrassment coloring her sweet voice, her hips bucking upwards as his fingers slid further past the waistband. 

“Want me to touch you?” Yoongi didn’t know who he was becoming, but his voice sounded dark and wicked. He could soak in that moment forever, and he’d be a happy man. 

Nodding furiously, Y/N looked torn between bashful and eager, a pretty layer of sweat coating her skin under the candlelight of the room. Behind her, somehow in the frenzy, the fallboard of the piano was put back in place, Y/N’s elbows braced on the wood. Somehow, the image of his lover, pliant and waiting for him, leaning against the very instrument that they had spent many afternoons playing together, was almost too much to bear. It was that image, one that he wanted burned into his eyelids, that had him springing into action. 

“Hips up,” he ordered, Y/N’s knees shaking as she did what she was told, Yoongi pulling her pants from her body and using a firm hand to have her settle back on the bench. Left in just a pair of white lacy panties that matched the bra she was once wearing, Yoongi wondered if she had planned for this to happen. 

Now that her pants were off, the scent of her arousal was nearly enough to knock him out. Sitting there in just her panties, that were so damp with her juices they were see-through, Y/N tried to close her legs again and rub, Yoongi lightly tapping her thigh with a growl. 

Thighs shaking, Y/N hissed sharply when Yoongi sunk his teeth into the meat of her thigh, sucking a deep bruise into it, feeling his tail thrash behind him and his boxers becoming unbearably tight. Taking deep breaths through his nose, trying to drink in the scent of her as much as he could, Y/N was begging above him– please, please, please. 

“Want me to touch you here?” Yoongi’s eyes flicked up to hers, his fingers ghosting along the lace just above her folds, not touching, but close enough to feel the heat coming off of her core. “Want me to kiss you here? Make you feel good?”

“Oh, please, baby,” Y/N’s voice was strained, scratchy, and there were tears gathering at her waterline out of pure frustration. “N-need you so bad– ah!”

Her watery eyes paired with the begging were enough for Yoongi to stop toying with her, his hand finally cupping her through soaked lace, cunt pulsing against his palm immediately. Hands flying into his hair, Y/N gasped, so far past the point of being so embarrassingly desperate she let her head fall back against the piano. 

“Fucking soaked,” Yoongi remarked in awe, using his middle finger to trace a line over the center of her panties, more wetness seeping into the fabric. “You must have thought about this, huh? Me touching you like this?”

Y/N’s hips canted upwards into Yoongi’s hand, chasing more pressure, more pleasure, egged on by Yoongi’s filthy mouth. The heel of his palm pressed into her clit, her toes curling and a wail leaving her swollen lips, the grip she had in his hair stinging his scalp. Without a word, Yoongi pushed the gusset of her panties to the side, not bothering to take them off, the scent of her smacking him square in the face. She was dripping by now, thighs soaked, Yoongi unable to believe how wet he had gotten her, and he was just getting started. 

Holding her breath, Y/N stared at ravenous Yoongi’s face between her legs, yelping when he pulled one of her thighs over his shoulder, and before she could process that, Yoongi licked a long, torturously slow stripe up the entirety of her pussy, moaning at the taste of her. 

Y/N’s spirit left her body at that moment. Spine arching sharply, she cried out at the sudden onslaught of his tongue on her, cheeks burning. A strong hand pressed to her lower stomach, the other holding her panties to the side, Yoongi used a thumb to swipe over her clit, feeling more of her wetness seep onto his tongue. Y/N’s cries of pleasure grew in volume, prettier than any song he ever heard, dipping his tongue into her spasming entrance, her hips pressing into his face with force. 

“Taste so fucking good, baby,” Yoongi mumbled against her core, though Y/N barely heard him through the noises he was pulling from her. He was disgustingly good at what he was doing, alternating between licking through her folds and brushing his lips over her clit, Y/N somehow already close. “Mine.”

“O-oh, your’s,” Y/N agreed, Yoongi satisfied with that reply, simultaneously wrapping his lips around her clit, sucking, and sliding his middle finger into her entrance, her hips jerking into his face with a shriek. 

“Tight little pussy,” Yoongi hummed, curling his finger just so to have spots blacking out Y/N’s vision, marveling at how tightly her cunt wrapped around his finger, squeezing. “Fuck, baby.”

“A-Ah! Yoongi, I, I,” Y/N was shaking, sweaty, and looking positively ruined, a choked whimper cutting her off when Yoongi added another finger to the mix, her wetness slipping down his wrist, at that point. “Close!”

Humming again, this time with his lips wrapped around her clit, he sped up the fingers fucking into her heat, his other hand pressing down hard on her lower stomach, determined to make her explode. Babbling incoherently, Y/N shakily laced her fingers with Yoongi’s splayed on her abdomen, the squelching sounds of Yoongi’s fingers pistoning in and out of her making the tips of her ears burn. 

“Come on, my love, cum for me, won’t you?” Yoongi purred, Y/N’s vision going white when his lips returned to her little bundle of nerves, sucking hard, his fingers curling viciously against her G-spot. With that, she came with his name ripping from her hoarse throat, Yoongi swearing as she clamped down on him like a vice, her body contorting and writhing on the piano bench. “That’s my good girl, shit, you made such a mess.”

Yoongi worked her through her orgasm, gaping at how her wetness had dripped over the bench, covered his chest, and even made a small puddle on the hardwood floor. When a pained whimper left her mouth, oversensitive, Yoongi pulled his fingers from her pussy, giving her mound a soft kiss, soothingly rubbing one his palms over her quaking thigh, popping his soaked digits into his mouth. 

“Oh,” Y/N tried to catch her breath, face flushed, “My god.”

“Good?” Yoongi smirked, rising from his knees and planting a kiss on her sweaty forehead. “You did so well, sweetheart, love you so much.”

Preening at the praise, she dragged him close by his neck, feeling how feverish his skin was while she tasted herself on his lips. Position a tad awkward, Y/N got to her feet by using Yoongi’s chest for balance, hands slipping over the combination of his sweat and her juices that spilled onto his skin. 

“We don’t have to do anything else, that was a lot,” Yoongi murmured against her lips, arm around her waist as he tucked hair behind her ear. Instantly, Y/N frowned, gazing down at the very obvious tent in his pants. 

Without a word, she snatched up the leopard hybrid’s wrist, dragging him to the leather loveseat, Yoongi making startled noises as she shoved him onto it, cheeks flushed and lips glistening with saliva and cum. Then, it was Y/N’s turn to drop to her knees, Yoongi stuttering out a swear as she bit his collarbone, hands dragging heavily down his toned chest. 

“My turn to make you feel good,” she whispered against his skin, Yoongi gathering up her hair and placing it over one of her shoulders. 

Teasingly, she ran a fingertip over the little trail of hair leading into the waistband of his sweats, Yoongi releasing a breathy sigh while she mouthed along his neck. 

“Baby,” Yoongi stiffened at the sensation of her tits pressing against his chest, groaning. She took him completely by surprise by dipping her hand into his sweats, hand wrapping around his cock through his boxers. “Fuck!”

“Big,” Y/N commented, in awe, experimentally tracing the length of him through his boxers, smirking at the wet patch by his tip. “Want you in my mouth.”

“Holy–” Yoongi’s eyes rolled back, not expecting his sweet little girl to have such dirty thoughts about him. Grumbling at the barrier between her and his cock, Y/N shucked off his sweats, taking his boxers with them. 

“Wow,” Y/N breathed, watching his cock spring up and hit his lower abdomen, and Y/N swore she had never seen one so pretty. Chest heaving, Yoongi was staring at her with utter shock, gripping the couch with whitened knuckles. 

Without hesitating, she wrapped her hand around the base of him, a groan coming from the leopard hybrid, Y/N watching with rapt interest as precum leaked from his tip, swiping her finger through it and licking it off of the digit, Yoongi letting out a tortured moan. Humming at the taste of him, she wanted more, maintaining eye-contact with him as she brought him to her mouth, licking a similar, slow, long stripe up the underside of his cock, much like he had done when he was eating her pussy. 

“Little tease,” Yoongi accused, his chest growing pinker by the moment, long hair sticking to his neck. Wanting him to eat his words, Y/N moved quickly, suckling the reddened tip of his cock into her mouth. “Y/N–!

Yoongi, again, gathered her hair in a fist, wrapping it around his wrist, his eyes slipping shut. Addicted to the sounds he was making and the look on his face, Y/N released him from his mouth, and in a moment of pure confidence, spat on his cock for more lubrication. Yoongi, swearing under his breath, writhed on the couch, Y/N having mercy on him and angling him back into her mouth, taking him deeper this time. Swirling her tongue around his tip, Yoongi moaning and pulling at her hair, she stroked what she couldn’t fit in her mouth with a free hand. 

“What the fuck– hngh, sweetheart,” Yoongi managed between pants, eyebrows pulled together in pleasure. “Who knew you could be so naughty? Fuck, wanna fuck your mouth so bad.”

Y/N wanted that too, giving him her best pleading look, Yoongi pushing a hand through his hair with a humorless chuckle. 

“You’re fucking unbelievable, my perfect girl,” Yoongi thrusted his hips upwards, Y/N gagging slightly as he hit the back of her throat with the tip of his cock, holding her head in place by her hair as he fucked into her. “Letting me do all these things to you…”

Y/N could already feel her thighs getting slicked up again, thanks to the filth flying from her lover’s mouth, resisting the urge to touch herself to the show he was giving her. After one particularly deep thrust, Y/N purposefully swallowing around him, eyes watering, Yoongi tore himself from her throat, panting wildly. 

Finding herself hauled up onto the couch by her wrists, Yoongi tore her panties off, the material actually ripping under the force, Yoongi kissing the wind out of her, his hands everywhere. Shuddering with him on top of her, slotted between her legs, Y/N began to ache, winded from his cock down her throat and how he was working his tongue against hers. 

“Want to be inside you when I cum,” Yoongi growled into her ear, Y/N digging her nails into his back as she clung to him for dear life. “Are you…”

Sobering for a moment, Y/N realized what he was getting at, softening and pecking his lips gently. 

“I have an IUD,” she told him, and once she did, he dropped back into his intense lust, kissing her deeply. Pressed together so tightly, Y/N didn’t know where her body ended and Yoongi’s began. “Please, Yoongi.”

Using a hand to brace his weight on the armrest above Y/N, she watched him grip the base of his cock, Y/N whimpering brokenly when he dragged the thick head through her folds, catching on her clit. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, mouth dropping open when he repeated the action three more times, her arousal clinging to his length. 

“Fuck me,” Y/N begged when he brushed against her clit the fifth time, so crammed full of want it was starting to physically hurt. “Please, baby, I need you.”

Yoongi stiffened, catching the tear rolling down her cheek, deciding to stop teasing her, for now. Besides, if he held off any longer, he was worried his dick would fall off. Positioning himself, he lowered down to an elbow, caging her in, lips finding her as he pushed in, slowly at first. 

Y/N keened into his mouth, biting down on the flesh of his lower lip, Yoongi breathing heavily at the sensation of her walls desperately trying to squeeze down on him. He went slow, not wanting to hurt her, but she took inch by inch in stride, sloppily kissing him back. Once his hips were flush with her, Y/N feeling herself frantically fluttering around his cock, she whined, long and reedy reaching up to grasp on Yoongi’s necklace. 

“So tight,” Yoongi snarled through gritted teeth, taking everything in him to not pound her into the couch with the way she was clenching down on him, and the wrecked look on her beautiful face. 

“Y-yoongi,” Y/N felt him brush away the tear that had tracked down her cheek. “Move, please move!”

Pulling out until there was only about an inch of him still inside her, Yoongi rolled his hips forward, setting a slow, but hard pace to start, Y/N clawing at his back every time her body jerked back due to the force of the thrusts. She was moaning his name again, and Yoongi didn’t think he’d ever tire of that sound, burying his face into her neck and giving her yet another bruising bite. 

“So fucking perfect, love you so much,” Yoongi was out of his mind, surrounded by the scent of her, and regretfully, he knew he wasn’t going to last as long as he wanted to. In the back of his mind, however, he didn’t care– there would be plenty of other times he could draw out their pleasure. “Taking me so well… made for me. You’re mine. Fuck, you’re so wet.”

Yoongi couldn’t help himself, with the sounds she was making and the stinging sensation of her fingernails marking up his back, he sped up the pace, rutting into her with abandon. With the quicker pace, Y/N could hardly breathe, every cell in her body alight with pleasure, and it wasn’t long before she felt a second orgasm building low in her abdomen. 

“Y-yoongi, you’re gonna– ah! You’re gonna m-make me cum again,” Y/N wailed brokenly, the leopard hybrid sitting up somewhat while still drilling into her, grasping either of her calves so he could fold her in half, ankles over his shoulders. The new angle had both of them moaning loudly, Y/N feeling him so deeply it was like he was in her throat again. “Ohhh my god, fuck!” 

Yoongi was determined to get her off again, watching her face screw up in intense pleasure, affection and possession coming over him all of a sudden, turning his face slightly to kiss one of her ankles gently. Hand snaking down her sweaty body, his thumb found her clit again, easily slicking it up and rubbing firm circles around the bundle, Y/N actually screaming at the sensation. 

“Gonna cum, love?” Yoongi egged her on, his balls tightening as he raced towards his own finish. “Come on, you can do it. Let go, baby.”

Capturing one of her nipples between his teeth, that was all it took, Y/N coming even harder than she did previously, clamping down on his cock so tightly he gasped, feeling her pussy drench his length. She had her mouth dropped open in a silent scream, convulsing in his arms. It was undoubtedly the sexiest thing he had ever seen, his cock throbbing inside of her as he slowed the pace of his thrusts a bit, the hand that was working her over coming up to rest over her throat. He didn’t squeeze, but the weight of it prolonged Y/N’s orgasm, tears spilling over her cheeks uncontrollably. 

“That’s it, take it,” Yoongi cooed, his hips stuttering as he found himself getting close. “Fuck, gonna fill you up.”

Remarkably, he felt her cunt clench around him again, Y/N’s eyes going wide at the thought of him cumming inside of her. Yoongi bit his lip, kissing her sloppily once more, his thrusts becoming irregular in their beat. 

“Ooh, you liked that, huh? Want my cum?” Yoongi’s voice was so gravelly, Y/N shuddered at the sound of it nodding, she reached for his hair, and before he could stop her, Y/N’s fingertips pressed firmly into the base of his ear. “Oh, f-fuck…”

Yoongi went still, pushing himself inside of her as far as he could go, dropping his face into Y/N’s neck as he came, spurt after spurt warming Y/N’s insides, whimpering weakly at the foreign sensation, and perhaps enjoying it a little too much. Y/N was shocked at the sheer volume of it, her pussy a bit battered and tender. For a moment, all they did was catch their breaths, Yoongi collapsed heavily on top of her, Y/N weakly stroking through his damp hair, inhaling the smell of his cologne. Still tucked into her neck, Yoongi was purring with content, giving the skin tiny, tender kisses. 

“I love you,” Y/N was the first to speak, realizing she hadn’t said it back to him in quite some time, soothingly running her hands down his back, over the raised scratch marks she had given him. “I think you broke me, though.”

Yoongi chuckled tiredly into her skin, lifting his head so he could peck her cheek. 

“You’ll be alright,” Yoongi insisted, his face flushed as if he was flustered. “I love you, too.”

Cock softening inside of her, Y/N winced as Yoongi carefully pulled out, giving her sides gentle, reassuring squeezes. Squeaking at the sudden overstimulation of Yoongi’s fingers inside of her, she grabbed his wrist, not ready yet for another round. Yoongi halted, raising an eyebrow, Y/N opening her mouth– to find it effectively shut, Yoongi’s cum-coated fingers shoved inside. Bewildered, she tasted the combination of their releases on her tongue, Yoongi smirking down at her. 

“Mmph–”

“What? I thought you said you wanted my cum?” Yoongi teased, a wicked gleam to his hazel eyes. “We should get you cleaned up, though.”

Once Y/N sucked his fingers clean, he pulled them from her mouth, sealing it with a kiss to her upper lip. 

“Can’t move,” Y/N complained, feeling boneless. “What about the others? It’s not like I can stroll out of here looking like this.”

“I’ll check to make sure no one’s up here. You can throw on my boxers and shirt, and I’ll carry you to my room, you can shower in my bathroom,” Yoongi helped Y/N sit up, dressing her like a paper doll in his henley, and helping her shimmy into his boxers, Y/N grimacing at the sloppiness between her legs. 

After he pulled his sweats back on, Y/N watched him head to the door, unlocking it and peeking his head outside, ears alert as he listened for any of the others. Y/N took the opportunity to ogle his bare back, the pale, perfect skin marred with red scrapes. 

Yoongi made his way back to her after a moment, collecting Y/N in his arms and carrying her like a baby koala out of the music room, apparently no one else was upstairs, and he deemed it safe to walk around in their post-sex apparel. Gently, he set Y/N down on her unstable feet, her eyes suddenly going wide with horror when she remembered something important. 

“Wait, didn’t you say I made a mess? Shouldn’t I clean that up before someone sees?” Y/N panicked, Yoongi’s eyes scrunching up as he laughed at her, covering his mouth. 

“Yeah, there’s a puddle on the floor,” Yoongi told her, Y/N blanching in mortification. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’ll clean it up after we shower. No one goes in there but us, and Taehyung’s been locked up in the office all day.”

“I-if you’re sure,” Y/N mumbled, still humiliated. Yoongi simply shook his head, leading her into his en-suite, with their hands tangled together, turning on the shower tap. 

She let him strip her again, but this time it felt sweet and domestic, holding her hand as he helped her into the shower, Y/N sighing at the hot water sliding down her back. He was quick to follow, letting her hold onto his shoulders as he used a soft, fresh face cloth to mop up the mess they had made between her thighs. Once that was squared away, Yoongi lathered up his loofah with body wash, both taking turns washing each other’s skin, Yoongi even washing Y/N’s hair for her with his spiced vanilla shampoo. Y/N felt like she was glowing, floating, dreaming. She had never felt so cherished in her life, Yoongi gently combing conditioner through her hair, both of them wrapped up in comfortable silence. 

After the shower, Y/N giggled when the leopard hybrid bundled her up in a fluffy towel, picking out a pair of his sweatpants and a cozy tee-shirt for her to put on. Once he was dressed, he left the bathroom with a few cleaning supplies to take care of the… mess, Y/N using his hair dryer in the meantime. Her eyelids felt heavy, fatigue taking over after Yoongi pretty much fucked her brains out, waiting for him on the end of his bed. He returned shortly thereafter with a trash bag, shooting her a wink. 

“Wanna take a nap? You look beat,” Yoongi peeled his comforter back, motioning for Y/N to crawl into his bed. 

“After all of that? Of course I look beat,” Y/N retorted, though crawling across the bed anyways and getting cozy. There was no way she was missing out on that opportunity. “Come here, take a nap with me till dinner.”

Snorting at her grabby hands, Yoongi shuffled around the bed, collapsing on his back and dragging Y/N close so she could rest her head on his steadily-purring chest. Completely content at that moment, Y/N traced shapes over Yoongi’s chest, his arms around her securely. 

“So, hybrid ears are really sensitive,” Y/N teased, Yoongi pinching her hip in response. “Duly noted.”

“Go to sleep,” Yoongi grumbled, Y/N laughing freely into his chest, but obediently closing her eyes. 

“Love you,” Y/N reminded him, cozy under his big comforter and in his strong arms. 

“Mm, too,” Yoongi replied, though it sounded like he was already half-asleep. Grinning to herself, she nuzzled into his chest, falling into a similarly peaceful sleep. 

If her other hybrids knew anything about what had gone down between her and Yoongi, none of them said a word about it, even when Y/N winced in the mirror at the colorful bites decorating her neck. Dinner was pretty normal, even when Y/N showed up dressed in Yoongi’s clothes, probably smelling like him overwhelmingly so. 

The next day, she had a bunch of running around to do, dropping Yoongi and Hoseok off at the rec center for morning practice, picking up groceries by herself, and standing in the DMV for two hours waiting to fill out applications for Namjoon, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi to get their driver’s licenses. By the time she made it back from the city after picking Yoongi and Hoseok up, it was already evening, the sun disappearing behind the house. 

While the two hybrids who had practice left her at the door to wash up, she cocked her head, hearing loud, jazzy music coming from the parlor. Curiosity taking over her, she headed in that direction. The fire was blazing, and Y/N stopped short when she assessed the scene in front of her: Youtube was playing jazz music videos on the flatscreen, the couch was messy like someone had been laying on it all day, and there was a half-drunk bottle of gin on the table with an empty tumbler. Y/N bought that gin the previous day, which made her nervous to see who had plowed through half of it. 

Right on cue, someone stumbled in from the entrance to the kitchen, tread clumsy and heavy. Whipping her head around, she saw Taehyung, pink in the face, dressed messily in a hoodie and sweats, drunker than he had ever been. 

“Oh, you’re back,” Taehyung noticed her standing there in shock, his eyes half-shut and his speech slurred. “Nice. Listening to music.”

“Jesus Christ, Tae,” Y/N lurched forward to catch him before he stumbled over a pillow strewn onto the floor. “You’re not a big drinker, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. Wanted a drink,” Taehyung yanked his forearm from her grasp, pouring gin straight into the tumbler and downing a shot. Hissing, Y/N grabbed the bottle, stashing it on the bar cart with her hands on her hips. “Wasn’ done, Y/N.”

Taehyung complained, frowning deeply at her. Cringing at the loud saxophone coming from behind her, she used the remote to turn the volume down, turning around to see Taehyung stalking towards her. 

“You’re ready to talk to me now that you’re shitfaced?” Y/N asked, peeved that he let himself get to that state, and even more peeved that he was giving her the silent treatment. 

A shadow crossed over Taehyung’s face, Y/N realizing he was backing her up against the wall, a palm coming to settle on the drywall beside her face. Gulping, the strong scent of botanical gin washing over her as Taehyung got in her face, she blinked at him nervously, not used to the ticked-off look he was giving her. 

“What’s there to talk about, Y/N?” Taehyung responded, sounding a touch more sober now. 

“Why are you so angry?” Y/N breathed, Taehyung’s eyes flickering down to her mouth, a thumb coming up to pull down on her lower lip. Heart going positively still in her chest, she felt panic flood through her, not wanting anything like that happening between them while he was in such a state. However, she couldn’t move a muscle when he neared closer to her mouth, but a breath away.

“Tae, you’re drunk–”

Y/N heard stomping coming into the room, and she saw a familiar hand wrapped around Taehyung’s arm, forcefully pulling him away from Y/N’s space. Yoongi, his hair dripping wet, was standing there with his jaw tense. Taehyung blinked, realization dawned on him, and without another word, he stormed out of the room.  

Taglist; @blancflms @grazysf @sbromp @jaxavance @sunderlight @ot7nem @mageprincess7 @wittyreader @drenix004 @mayla548 @skyys-universe @ddaeng-angmoh @trtlthts @exfolitae @kalala22 @xiusmarshmallow @bangtans-momma @zae007live @paigetj @singukieee @lilacdreams-00 @dreamerwasfound @ninjacups @osakis-gf @itwillbealways-d @xthefuckerysquaredx @momowantscats @molshole @gooooomz @uarmyhore @lopprhe @oopscoop @xicanacorpse @i-like-anime12 @hemziii @demarie04 @im-sinking-in-mud @talkyoongitome @bangtxnbxunch @primrose2507 @kihyunniesmonbebe @7evensin @lilmxchis @00ihatesnaku @neverthefirstchoice @missyoueverysingleday @cathy-1997 @prybts @doublebunv

Please do not repost or translate my work. Thank you!

[cerridwen007]

Hard pill to swallow.

*pics above are from pinterest and are used for aesthetics only.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 2.4k (18+) MINORS DNI!

Summary: Joel helps you fix your problem with swallowing pills.

Notes/Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Soft!Joel vibes, lowkey daddy Joel vibes too, Joel being a teasing, filthy mouthed menace because I said so, mentions of pills (vitamins and hayfever), mentions of gagging/gag reflex, Joel lifts reader, but Joel is huge and hella strong so he can lift anyone, cumplay, oral (m receiving), finger sucking, praise/ nicknames, swearing, no y/n.

A/N: Disclosure, this is fully self indulgent and based on my struggle with swallowing pills and me wanting Joel Miller's dick in my mouth all waking hours.  Was meant to post this before Valentines, but time got the best of me. But I suppose you can consider this my Valentines present from me to you, even though it's not related to valentines at all. I swear this is the second time that writing about my struggles in a fic with Joel, it’s pretty much solved them. He is truly that man. Quickly edited, as always, so sorry if there are any mistakes. Anyways, enough babbling, I hope y'all enjoy, and any interactions with posts are very much appreciated, and I love yall so much. Have a good day bebes. 🫶❤️

*********

You were embarrassed, to say the least, and annoyed and frustrated. For all of your life, you could never do that one thing that was a simple skill for most people, a simple and usually essential at that. You couldn't swallow pills for the life of you. Many frustrated mornings, well into your early adult years, were spent at the breakfast table with your parents, growing more and more impatient and irritated at your ‘talent’ for not being able to swallow pills no matter how hard you tried. And It's not like you didn't want to swallow pills. No, not at all. 

In fact you wish you could, it would have made your life a hell of lot easier. You would take swallowing pills over having to grind up the assorted pills for hayfever and vitamins into your drink and being forced to intigest the horrible tasting yet beneficial substances, the ones that made your eyes water and your stomach gurgle with just how bad they tasted. 

And trust me you had tried everything, sticking the pill right down your throat, damn near breaking your neck with the force you tilted your head back (to catch your gag reflex “off guard”) nearly watering boarding yourself a couple times, thinking the more water you swallow the easier right? You felt like the oblong white tablets were just ridiculing you at this point. 

You had achieved so much in your life yet you were brought down by your inability to swallow a tiny little thing for your benefit. You had not managed to find a shortage of adults and family members alike telling you, “it's all in your head” and suggesting unwarranted advice. Advice you ended up trying over and over again, knowing it wouldn't work. “It's just like swallowing food” they would say. But you knew damn right it wasn't. I mean you couldn't even swallow gum, so how were you supposed to swallow this?!

Because of all these judgemental looks and passive aggressive comments when it came up in conversation that you couldn't swallow pills, you tended to avoid the topic of conversation completely. It wasn't till a handsome man named Joel Miller came into your life, did you finally manage feel comfortable and unjudged about your inability. 

It had been a while that the two of you had been dating, nearly a year and you had never felt happier. Recently you had moved into his place and had just unfinished packing. It was a peaceful morning in Joel’s and now your own house, the morning sun shining down, warming up the frosted green grass as the birds chirps and, the smell of fresh brewed coffee filled your nostrils. The two of you sat opposite each other, drinking in the peaceful morning. This movie-like paradise was soon brought down in mood as you remembered it was time to take your daily vitamins and tablets. 

You sighed, a frown growing on your face as you anticipated yet another painful morning attempting to swallow some tablets. Joel's face mimics yours when he looks over at you from across the breakfast table. 

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked, concerned.

You sigh before explaining yourself.

“I just..I just suck at swallowing pills and I almost always end up having to crush them into a drink or whatever I'm eating and then it's disgusting. I know I'm an adult, I should be able to swallow them by now but I just can’t.” 

You try to blink away the tears from frustration as you talk, not wanting Joel to see you get so upset over something so little and stupid.

He listens with a soft frown on his face and you half expect him to scoff at you and belittle you for not being able to do something so easy. Then he locks eyes with you and sees your watery eyes and instantly his face softens.

“Aww baby, come here.” He holds out his arms and you quickly get up walking round the table to straddle his lap, burying your face into his shoulder, seeking his warming embrace to comfort you. You look up at him, when you feel the tears aren't going to spill out.

“You're not making fun of me or think that I'm being a baby?” 

He cups your face, forcing you to keep his warm gaze. “Now what would make you think that I thought that darling?” He questions.

You feel your throat constricting as you try to explain yourself, cheeks growing hot with embarrassment.

“I don't know…I just thought maybe before… you were frowning cause you don’t believe me or something.” You softly respond, embarrassed over the state you're in all over some silly little pills.

“Sweetheart of course I believe ya. I was frowning cause I hate to see my girl upset and struggling, and I was trying to think of some way to help ya.”

You sigh with relief, before resting your head back on Joel's shoulder, you sit there holding each other for a while before you're interrupted by the soft rocking back and forth of Joel's chest as he tries to quietly chuckle underneath you. 

“What’s so funny.” You ask, feeling a little irritated.

“Oh, nothing.” He responds, still with a wide grin.

“No, tell me.” You say, pouting.

He clears his throat and before he speaks in a dark tone, close to your ear sending shivers all throughout your body.

“Just thought of how good of a girl you are when you suck my dick, and how you don’t seem to have a problem swallowing my cum, do ya honey?”

Your eyes widen with the sudden lewd topic of conversation, your cheeks heat up and you lightly slap his chest.

“Joel!” you warn him, but you can't help but let the corners of your mouth lift up a little.

“That's different though.” You say quietly after a beat.

“Oh yeah? Why's that?” His eyes pierced through you, waiting for your answer.

You feel your cunt fluttering at his question, your panties dampening.

“Cause…cause I actually want to swallow your cum.” You softly admit.

He breathes in shakily as a growl-like sound softly rips through his chest. His head falls back and he slowly grinds up into your needy clothed cunt. 

“My dirty little cum slut, aren't you baby?” He groans as he cups your face with his hand.

You nod and he puts his thumb on your bottom lip, slowly dragging it downwards. Your tongue shoots out to lick it before your head dips it to take it into your mouth. You start sucking on it, needily. Needing to have some part of Joel in you.

“Needy too, apparently. Just how I like ya.” He murmurs to mostly himself as he pushes his fingers in deeper and pushes down on your tongue.

Your cunt is throbbing now, but the only thing you can think of right now is taking Joel’s fat cock into your mouth. You try and tell Joel as his thick fingers are stuffed in your mouth, so it ends up coming out as a garbled mess.

“What was that baby?” Joel teases you.

“W-wanna sl-suck your c-cock d-Joel.” 

“Can’t get enough of this fat dick down your throat can you sweetheart?” Joel growls as he removes his fingers.

You shake your head, your hands trailing over Joel's strong chest and biceps. You suck on the spot on his neck that drives him crazy, his hips start lightly thrusting up into you as a result. You grin devilishly, seeing and feeling Joel become a vulnerable mess, under your control is one of your favourite sights in the world. 

You slowly make your way down Joel's body, feeling and touching on every part of him that you can, except where you and him both want too most. When your knees finally hit the floor, you look up at him with an innocent smile. Although Joel knows your the exact opposite, he can’t help his breath stuttering and his heart racing at the stunning sight below him.

You bite your lip as you look to Joel belt, his prominent bulge just below it, silently asking for permission. He nods, spreading his legs wider. You place your hands on his knees and slowly trace your hand over his legs up to his hips, your eyes switching between looking up at Joel and his bulge that has your mouth watering. 

You unbuckle his belt, slowly, loving to tease him. But taking your time and going slow seems to make you more impatient than Joel himself, so you make quick work of unzipping his jeans and shucking them down his thick thighs, while your mouth waters. You swallow harshly, as you uncover Joel's thick and rock-hard package perfectly framed by his black boxers. 

Reaching below his elastic waistband to pull out his cock, you find yourself transfixed once again by his beautiful cock, tip flush dark red, shaft slightly curling upwards as it heavily bobs, just begging to be sucked. Your tongue darts out to slicken your lips. Your hand carefully grasps his length, Joel softly gasps, before your thumb traces over his slit and the white drop of precum, oozing out of it. 

You grin as you lower your head, placing a few teasing kisses around his head before you raise his cock up high enough that you can lick from between his balls all the way up to his slit. He shudders above you, his hand gently caressing your hair, grounding himself and connecting himself more to you, as if his dick in your mouth isn't enough. 

You let your saliva gather to the front of your mouth before slightly parting your lips to let the warm glob drip onto his flesh. You see his thighs flex from the corner of your eye as your palm encases him, spreading your moisture all over the veiny muscle. Starting out with slow hard strokes, and building it up faster, your hand struggles to meet around his girth. 

Your mouth finally latches onto his tip, tongue swirling around the bulbous head, making Joel groan deeply. You help unleash even more depraved sounds from deep in Joel's chest when your other hand reaches out to massage his hefty balls. All this encompassing stimulation has Joel racing towards the edge, his mouth spewing out dirty words and praises as he comes oh so close to his high.

“Ugh. Fuck yeah. Atta girl.”

“Just like that baby. F-fuck me that feels g-good.” 

“Fuck… I love the feel of your hot, wet mouth on my cock.”

“Going to make my heart go out on me, with how fucking heavenly your making me feel, baby.”

He clenches the muscles in his body as he tries to starve off his release long as possible, needing to tell you something first.

“Sweetheart, look at me. I-I’m going to need you to hold all my cum in your mouth baby when I finish-h. C-can you do that for me s-sweet girl?” He chokes out.

You nod slightly and moan around him, before returning to bobbing wildly on his pulsing cock. Loving the salty, musky taste of him, your pussy clenches thinking about the even more salty and delicious load soon to be filling your mouth.

You take him as deep he will go, your eyes tearing up as your throat constricts around him. You feel his balls tighten under your hand and you let his cock out ever so slightly so only his tip is encased by your stretched lips.

And before you know it Joel’s coming, a long string of curse words and moans pouring out his mouth as he does so. Your hand continues to stroke him, milking him for all he's worth. Till he is hissing through his teeth, his now spent cock sensitive and raw. 

The urge to swallow his spend is strong, but your need to listen to and please Joel stands stronger. You keep it all in your mouth, cheeks bulging out a little with how full they are.

Joel, still breathing heavily, bends over you so he can inspect your warming checks and watery eyes, you look completely wrecked and he loves it. He hums in delight seeing you patiently sitting beneath him waiting for his next instruction.

He reaches over the table to where you were sitting before leaning down closer to you again. His thumb and forefinger reaches out and takes a hold of your chin, tilting it a bit higher.

“Did so good for me sweet girl, but I need you to do one more thing for me, okay?” He whispers, his warm and inviting eyes making you melt further into the floor.

You nod in response, watching his other hand come down in front of your face, opening up to reveal your pills. He softly demands you to open your mouth, to which you oblige, before carefully placing the few pills into your cum filled mouth.

He tilts up chin so your mouth closes and seals your lips with his thumb, before moving his hand to the side of your jaw, rubbing soft circles over your cheekbone.

“Okay, I'm going to need you to be a good girl and swallow that for me.”

You give the best soft smile you can muster with a mouth full of cum before you begin to swallow Joel’s cum in small amounts, your eyes fluttering close in concentration.

 “That's it…. Good girl. Swallow it all, baby. Don’t wanna waste a drop do ya now?” He encourages you, eyes transfixed to your throat swallowing all of his cum and the pills.

The pills going down so easily you didn't feel them shocks you, as you open your eyes to a smiling, starry-eyed Joel looking down at you softly. A wide smile mimicking his, spreads over your face, before you open your mouth to reveal it, now empty, to Joel.

He reaches down to pick you up from your armpits, placing you on his lap again. You giggle as he places lots of kisses all over your face and nuzzles his nose into yours.

“I’m so proud of you my sweet, darling girl. Did so good.”

“Thank you, Joel.” You coo back, sighing softly with relief and happiness over your achievement.

“Guess we know now how to get you to swallow your pills every morning, don't we baby?” Joel teases you, holding you close to his chest as he kisses your temple.

“Indeed we do.” You reply, giggling, before resting your head on Joel's warm and sturdy chest, basking in the love and warmth of your lover.

***********

[vxiphoid]

SERENE SHENANIGANS

❨ summary ❩ twst › waking them up to tell them stories that don’t make sense

tags ✧ fluff, crack, savanaclaw boys, defo not proofread its like 7 am, cursing but nothing out of the ordinary, ooc(?), ruggie calls you a little shit like once (affectionate), jack is whipped for you

amanuensis’ message ⊹ I LITERALLY LOVE DOING THIS??? my friends hate me for it. but anyways hiii im back after like my month hiatus, how are thy sleeplings?😋 mb guys writers block has been really kicking my ass, i was spitting blanks on paper… i’m gonna hopefully post another pastry emporium soon for scarabia so stay tuned for that‼️

⌜ 300+ e/chara ⌟

♫ sunset boulevard - hohyun

twst masterlist

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

— “leona… pspsps….”

— he hums gruffly when his name was called the first time, only opening his eye thinking you called him a second time when it was really just noise that you would make to get the attention of a house cat. he instantly pins his ears back. how dare you. “hmm?”

— “so i took our snail for a walk and i had accidentally left my feet here to wash the dishes because the grass was blue.”

— huh? you could see him trying to process everything you just said as you explained, his lips parting and eyebrows furrowing. it took everything in you not to laugh. he does one of those blinks, the really delayed ones, one eye opens before the other…

— he’s half asleep too so the confusion is just adding up altogether. if chicken scratch wasn’t a writing term, this is literally it in words. its like the books back at home he picks up to read (derogatory) its, what, 4 am? dont do this to him😭

— you’ve never seen him so expressive💀 this definitely makes his eye and ear twitch at the same time. what type of fucked up fever dream is this?? its usually a blessing seeing you as the first thing he wakes up to, not when you wake him up with some bull strung up in a sentence with your beady eyes staring at him while he sleeps. he loves you, yes, but what does he even say to this…

— “what…”

— your forehead met with his chest as you struggled not to laugh at the uncharacteristic break in leona’s voice. how many cups of coffee did you drink? he asks you to repeat yourself even though it kinda a mind mush decision so you did and by the end of it, he looks absolutely restless.

— “that’s… yes. that’s great, herbivore. can we go to bed now?”

— you note that leona is surprisingly patient when half asleep

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

JACK HOWL

— deep sleeper. tug his ear. though he practically springs up before your hand makes contact, giving himself whiplash.

— “jack?”

— almost instantly relaxes when he realizes its you, tail wagging subtly☹️ “hi, baby. s’something wrong?”

— “hiii, do you remember a year ahead ago when i had to go to the dentist to get my spine fixed and the cats were barking at the flying dogs because the sky was in the water?”

— bro feels like he just had a stroke💀 he’s blinking rapidly, rubbing nose bridge as you explain. he really wants to understand, he does, but wtf did you just say??? it was the innocent “hi” before you unapologetically bashed his head in with the entire dictionary. its so ridiculous he couldn’t help but laugh.

— “jack, this is serious.” even as you told him that, your voice was not steady at all which made his shoulders shake violently in silent laughter.

— “im listening, i swear. tell me one more time?” yk his ass is not listening. he pulls you into his lap while his thumbs idly rubbed your sides, responding to your stories with “uh-huh” and “yeah?” with a lovesick smile on his face.

— eventually holds your face and starts pressing heart squeezing, fluffy kisses all over your face which truly made you more tired then you were. you honestly start forgetting what and where the story was going.

— jack only pauses his kissing attack to respond when you take a small break but even then he doesn’t pull away fully, he’s just speaking against your skin

— “—and the duck had my arm while i was taking it on a walk because gran tammy was in a flying shopping cart.”

— “oh wow. and then?”

— he’s listening but he’s not, mostly because he’s like two seconds away from dreamland and his brain isn’t registering half the shit you’re saying. he wants to see how many stories you can jumble up.

— “yeah, i think it’s bedtime for us…”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RUGGIE BUCCHI

— omfg he wakes up like a mom. like yk how you would barely touch them and they would gasp like they were just given cpr?? he wakes up like that.

— and you’re just standing there awkwardly 👁️👁️

— takes a quick look around before looking at you. “what happened? is it time to wake up leona already?” you shake your head and ruggie flops back, an arm draped over his eyes. “you scared me… come, lay down with me?” he held his free arm out for you and you did take your place cozied up against his side. to your surprise, you did actually scare the living shit out of him from how fast his heart was racing.

— “ruggie, yk i just found out you’re related to turtles, right? and i had to take uncle bobby to the vet to get a dna test because the fish drowned in air.”

— slow roblox turn towards you but instead its his head as he cranes it down to stare at you. you can practically hear the gears in his head turning and you literally could not look at him or you’d blow your cover.🧍🏾

— “i’m sorry,, what the fuck??”

— he’s genuinely confused, asking you questions about your story while his brain tries to put together the pieces. each question he asks, the more its harder to speak in full sentences other than wheezes

— “what are you laughing at, ya little shit? explain this to me!”

— “i’m trying!”

— and you are😭 its like when you have to explain the family tree really slow bc you cant say, “my father’s girlfriend’s son” without him like ???? and you’re trying to explain it to him slowly, eventually forgetting what you said in the first place…

— “…and the fish drowned in air.”

— “yes.”

— “sweetheart, you still haven’t explained how i’m related to turtles—”

[tkwrites]

Summer Decisions - Quinn Hughes x ofc

gif from gabelandeskog

Title: Summer Decisions - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts

Warnings: Highly emotional, angst. mild fighting, lots of anxiety, swearing, crying, fluff. If I missed anything, please let me know. 

Summary: An invitation to his family reunion over the fourth of July has Quinn and Sarah tumbling into a long conversation about their future in the off-season and beyond. Though the ensuing fight is resolved, the reality of their commitments vs. their love for each other is put to the test.

Word Count: 4,600

Comments: I’m back with some highly emotional goodness. This fic was halfway done for a long time until your overwhelming reactions to my WIP ask game really got me in gear to start writing again. I really like the way this turned out, and I hope you do, too. It's, like, 98% dialogue, so if that's not your thing, I won't be offended if you skip this one, but it is setting up all of our off-season fics.

If you enjoyed this, please let me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. 

I love Quinn and Sarah, and I’m constantly blown away that so many of you love them, too.

Summer Decisions

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

“My parents want to know if you want to come to our family reunion over the 4th of July. It’s in New Hampshire.”

“Oh,” she said, voice quiet. 

“Is that not okay?” 

“It’s just a big step,” she said, “meeting your whole family.” 

“I’m meeting your family in June, aren’t I?” he asked.

They’d discussed him coming to visit when she went home for a few weeks after school. Were it not for the Canucks making it into the playoffs, she would have bought a ticket for the Monday after her classes would be done. Instead, she pushed her visit back until mid-June, wanting to be in Vancouver to support him through the entirety of their run, however long it may be.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” 

It was a little strange to her how comfortably serious they were, but she couldn’t imagine life with Quinn any other way. It was that fated belonging she’d talked about so much when they first met. Even still, it was a little jarring to think about him meeting her family or meeting his before they even hit the six month mark. 

The phrase, ‘when you know, you know,’ never made sense until she met him. She knew, and even though it felt too fast and scary sometimes, she knew it would all turn out okay. 

“So we’ll fly out from Van, what? The night before?”

“I’ll have to fly out from Michigan.” 

“Michigan? Why?” 

“I thought I told you we train in Michigan in the summer.”

“You did, but I thought… I thought maybe that changed?” 

“Why?” 

“Because of us?” she gestured between them. 

“I mean, I’d love for you to come with me.” 

“I can’t do that, Quinn.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t just pack up and move to Michigan. I still have my research work, and if I’m not working or in school for more than 6 weeks in a quarter, it violates my education visa. Not only will I have to move back to the States, I won’t be able to finish my degree.” 

“Then I’ll fly you out every weekend.” 

Pricked, the old wound split open, and she couldn’t quite hide the annoyance in her voice, “so it’s up to me to fly to you?” 

Shit. He hadn’t taken her schedule into account again. “Sorry, no. Of course I’d come here, too.”

The annoyance still fresh in her mind she found herself asking, “why do I have to remind you my time matters for you to take it into account?”

Quinn winced. “I know your time matters. I’m sorry, it’s not fair for me to assume you could just pack up and move or fly out every weekend.”

“Then don’t bring it up again,” she said. 

Okay then. 

“I’m trying here, Sarah. This is all new to me, too.” He’d never felt close enough with June to figure out a summer situation. They saw each other once or twice when he was gone, and that was enough. Looking back, that should have been a huge sign about the trajectory of their relationship.

“And yet, I assume because I have a vagina, I was raised to take other people into account.” 

“That’s not fair,” he said. 

“No? Then why do you always jump into me coming to you? Into me changing my plans? Into me inconveniencing my life before you do?” 

Fuck. This wasn’t supposed to go this way. This was supposed to be a nice, light conversation about how he wanted her to meet everyone he loved. 

“Maybe we should just break up for the summer,” she said when he didn’t say anything.  

“What? No!” Quinn sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, hurt and disgruntled she would even suggest such a thing. 

“What would you suggest, then?”

Instead of answering her question, he asked one of his own. “Do you want to date someone else?” His voice was hesitant as he braced himself for the blow. 

“No. Of course not.” 

“Then why do you want to break up?” he asked through the relief easing his mind. “Why would you even say that?” 

“Because we won’t be together.”

“That doesn’t mean we should just call it off. Why do you always jump into ‘we should break up’ or ‘I should go’ when something hard comes up?” 

“I…” Sarah broke off, caught. “I don’t know.” 

“Maybe you should figure that out because I’m willing to put in the work here,” he said, gesturing between them. 

“That’s not fair.”

He raised his eyebrows instead of throwing her words back in her face. 

“I’m sorry, Quinn. I am trying, and I know you’re trying.” Tears pricked at her eyes, “I’ve just…” her mind whirred, trying to find the right explanation. In the end, as it always did with Quinn, the truth won out. “I’m scared I’m going to fuck it up and I don’t want to lose you.” 

Bridging the space between them with one big step, he pulled her against him. When they boiled down to the heart of the problem, they were both scared of the same thing. 

Tucking his nose into her hair, he breathed in the calming, smokey scent that was uniquely hers. “I don’t want to lose you, either,” he said. “We can still be together. Just separately.”

A laugh snorted from her nose, and she pulled back, “what?” 

“Long distance?”

It was Sarah's turn to suck on her lip. “I’ve never done that before.”

“I have. It's not easy. But I think we're both committed enough to make it work. Plus, we'll see each other pretty often.”

She had her thinking face on as a pregnant pause passed, so Quinn didn’t interrupt.

“What would that look like?” she asked, finally. 

“We’d talk on the phone and video chat a lot. I can come see you every weekend.”

“That doesn't make sense, Quinn. You go to Michigan to train and be with family. If you're flying back here every weekend, won't that mess with those things?”

“Probably, but —”

“Then it's out of the question. You need to do what you need to do.” 

He felt whiplashed. “I thought you wanted me to come here.” 

“Only in equal measure to me coming to you. I won’t let you give up your summer training for me.” 

It stuck him how much care and understanding were laid out in that statement. 

“Just like I know you wouldn’t want me to give up my research for you. It wouldn’t be fair.” 

Still wrapped in each others arms, Sarah rested her head on his shoulder as they thought. 

Tucking his face into her hair again, Quinn breathed deeply. As always, that smokey, vanilla scent was so calming to him. He couldn’t ever get it out of his mind. 

“This fucking sucks,” he said, voice muffled.

“I know,” she agreed. “I wish it could be different."

It couldn’t. They both had commitments that needed to be fulfilled, and they just didn’t match up.

“I wish I’d known. I would have made different plans.” 

“How would you have known?” she asked. “We only met four months ago.” 

“Has it only been that long?” he asked. The reality of the swiftness of their relationship hit him full force. “I feel like I’ve known you forever.” 

“I know. I do too.” 

“I don’t want to go the summer without you,” he said, caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. 

“I don’t either,” she agreed, “but it’s not like it’ll be five months where we just don’t see each other.” 

“Four,” he corrected. 

“What?” 

“Four months, I come back in September.” 

Well, that was a relief. 

“Okay, four months. I mean, we already have stuff planned. Let’s talk through what we do have,” she suggested, breaking away from him all together and pulling her planner from her bag. Flipping to the summer months, she lay it on top of her comparative physiology textbook and sat at the table. The urge to make a plan itched beneath her skin. 

He sat next to her, leaning in.

“So we have my family in June,” she said, pointing out the 10 days she had blocked out for her visit, “I sort of expected you’d come on the weekend?”  

“Yeah, that sounds good. And our reunion over the forth,” he said, flipping the page. “Then, we’re going to Hawaii at the end of July. You can come. I’ll get you a ticket.” 

“Hold on, have you talked to your family about this?” 

“No, but it’ll be fine.” 

She shook her head. 

He couldn’t believe she was turning down the option to spend two more weeks together. 

“That’s your family vacation, Quinn. I’d love to come, but I don’t want to go inserting myself —”

“You’re not inserting yourself, I’m inviting you.” 

“And I’m telling you I won’t come unless all your family is okay with it. Including Jack.” 

Even though Quinn had assured her Jack was a good guy and very devoted to his family and would come around once they met, he was still aloof anytime she happened to be around when he and Quinn were talking. Even Ellen had said as much, but Sarah still felt hesitant. Until she saw it from Jack himself, she wasn’t about to jump into an already planned vacation. She knew what it was like having a new person join the family. She didn’t want to make it any harder than it had to be. 

Quinn huffed. 

“The last thing I want is to come between you and your brothers,” she said gently.

His expression softened. “Okay. I’ll talk to them about it when they’re here.”

“So, it looks like we’ll see each other every three weeks or so, depending on when you come to Nevada and what Hawaii looks like. At least until August.”

Every three weeks felt like too long. He could hardly stand a week on the road, and they weren’t even living together. Yet. 

“I’d like you to come out to Michigan,” he said, “meet the guys. See the house.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “And you can come back here sometime here,” she said, her finger circling over a few weeks in August. 

Quinn nodded. It certainly wasn’t going to be easy, but it did feel better to have a plan.

“Are you renting this place out for the summer,” she asked, “while you’re gone?”

“I kind of thought you might move in here.”

“What?” 

“I mean, it’s just going to be empty, and I’d really like to live with you when I move back.” 

She couldn’t believe he could drop such a huge bomb so easily. As she tried to reconcile what he was saying, she repeated, “what?” 

“I mean…” he paused, voice and expression suddenly hesitant, “only if you want to.” 

Her brain finally caught up, “it’s not that. It’s just…we haven’t even talked about living together, and now you have this whole plan about how I should live here over the summer.” 

“I just thought there’s no real need for you to pay for rent anymore, since you spend so much time here anyway.” 

“I…” she was struck with the care in that statement, “that’s really sweet, Quinn.” 

He beamed.

“But I can’t live here alone all summer.” 

Expression falling, he opened his mouth.

“I just —” she interrupted before she lost her nerve. What was one more in a series of already vulnerable conversations? “I’d love to live here with you, but I can’t…I don’t know how my depression will act up if I live alone for that long. I’ve never lived on my own before, and I don’t think a summer where I’m missing my boyfriend is the best time to start.” 

The thought that she’d be here alone hadn’t crossed his mind. Not in a concrete way. Like, he knew she’d be here, and he knew he’d be in Michigan, but he never thought about it like she would be the only one in the apartment.

“Oh,” he whispered, taking her hands in his, “then of course not.” 

His immediate acceptance made tears rush to her eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Quinn asked as she took a hand back to wipe her face. 

Smiling despite the tears on her cheeks, she shook her head. “I just really love you.” Her voice sounded full, almost like she had a cold.

“I love you, too,” he said, feeling a little confused, “but I don’t know why you’re crying.” 

“Just…” How could she explain something like this? “The way you accept and trust my needs. It’s really nice.”

“The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy, Sarah.” 

This brought on a new wave of tears, and she tucked her head into his shoulder, trying to pull herself together. 

Quinn still felt a little whiplashed but tried to roll with it, running a soothing hand over her back. 

“What?” he asked when she mumbled something into his shirt. 

Pulling back, she wiped her nose before repeating, “I’ll have to sign a new lease. It comes up in July.” 

“I’ll buy you out of it,” he said as if it was the simplest, easiest solution to any of the problems they’d discussed that day. 

“I can’t let you do that, Quinn. That’s a lot of money.” 

Her eyes went wide. They’d never discussed money so concretely. She knew he made big bucks. All pro athletes did, but, “eight million?” she asked. “What do you do with it?” 

He hated having this conversation, but it needed to be had. It was actually a little surprising to him that it’d taken this long for it to come up. June had asked him about it a month into dating.

“Sarah, I make eight million dollars a year. I can buy out your lease.” 

“I have a financial advisor who’s helped me invest most of it,” he said, “and I don’t really have all eight million available all the time. But I paid off my parents and some of our families’ houses, and I give quite a bit to charity.” 

She’d seen the way he was with money. He never worried about it, but he certainly didn’t throw it at anything and everything. He wasn’t irresponsible. 

Opening her mouth to say something, she found her mind still reeling and closed it again. 

The annoyed look he would give her when she paid the dinner bill flashed in her mind. No wonder. He made so much more than she did. All the same, she wasn’t about to become some sugar baby. That went against nearly everything her parents had taught her.

“I still want to pull my weight,” she said.

Quinn was a little taken aback by the fierceness in her voice, “what?” 

“If we move in together, I still want to pull my weight.” 

His lips pursed, and he held back his initial response in favor of gathering more information. “What do you mean?” 

“Like, if I make $80,000 a year, I want to pay whatever percentage that is of what you make.”

“You only make $80,000 a year?” he asked. 

“No. Right now, I make $50,000 a year from my research stipend. It pays for my schooling, too, so it’s technically more, but $80,000 is a general base salary for a marine zoologist.” 

“You’ve been living on $50,000 a year?” 

“Yes, and I’ve been fine,” she said, giving him a look that stifled any follow-up questions he may have had. “My point is that if —” she paused to correct herself, “when we live together,” he beamed and she lost her thought for a moment before continuing, “I want to pull my weight, even if it is just a small percentage of the household. I don’t want to be some beholden trophy wife.” 

“Beholden?” he repeated, an amused smile playing on his lips.

“Yes, I don’t want to be some kept woman. A lot of financial advisors that I listen to say you should split the household and each pay the percentage compared to your salaries. How much do you pay here a month? Do you rent? Is it a mortgage?” 

“It’s a rental. It’s not really smart for me to buy a place when there’s a chance I may get traded in three years. It’s not enough time to build adequate equity on a home.” 

Sarah stuck a mental pin in that to come back to, “and how much is your rent?” 

“12,000.” 

“A year?” she found herself asking, even though she knew that couldn’t possibly be the answer.  

“A month,” he said with an indulgent smile, knowing it was her shock speaking more than anything else.

She wasn’t quite sure why, but this fact struck Sarah harder than anything else they’d talked about. She knew she’d never be able to afford an apartment like this on her own, but this was insane. More than a fifth of her yearly salary went to Quinn’s rent each month. She counted herself lucky to find a private room for under $2000.

“Okay, so if I make,” she paused, doing mental calculations - moving decimal points. Her voice was flat when she spoke again, “one percent of what you do…” She trailed off, looking into his face, “Quinn, this is insane.” 

“I know,” he agreed. “I’m happy to just pay, but if you would feel better paying whatever, I’m happy for you to do that, too.” 

 “So, I’d pay one percent of the household expenses.” Saying it out loud, it sounded so silly. One percent? That seemed minuscule, too insignificant to matter. “Maybe I could pay ten percent? One feels too tiny.”

“Sure,” Quinn said, knowing this was important to her. Unless she was storming in, trying to take over all the bills, he was happy to have her contribute in whatever way she wanted. “If you want to do that, let’s do that. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” 

They sat quietly for a moment, and he gathered his thoughts.

“I know it’s important to you to contribute,” Quinn said gently, “and I’m not saying you shouldn’t - but I just want you to know I’m happy to pay for things. I know I’m insanely blessed to make the kind of money I do to play a sport that I love. I’d really, really like to live together once I move back. So if that means I need to buy out your lease, I’m happy to do it if you’re comfortable with that.”

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she thought. If Quinn paid off her lease, she wouldn’t have to put off moving in with him or live on her own in this giant apartment or find a place to live for the two months between when he was home and when her lease was up. 

She wondered if this was one of those instances her grandmother often talked about. “Sometimes,” she would say while they were cleaning the basement or kneading dough, or working in the garden, “life showers you with blessings. And it’s up to you to catch them.” 

She always accompanied this wisdom by shaping her hands into a bowl as if to fill them with water. 

Sarah did the same now, pulling her other hand out of Quinns to cup them together. 

Eyebrows knitted together, he glanced from her hands to her face. 

She giggled and told him the story. 

“I should start doing that every morning,” he said, cupping his own hands together. 

“Every morning?” she repeated. 

“Well, every morning that you’re here. When I wake up next to you, I feel like the luckiest guy alive.” 

Despite it being incredibly cheesy, Sarah couldn’t help feeling moved. “Quinn that’s really sweet,” she said. “I feel like that, too,” she paused, feeling like she needed to add a caveat. “And I want you to know your money isn’t part of that. I would love you no matter how much money you were making.” 

“I know,” he said, leaning in to brush his lips over hers, “I’ve known that from the start.” 

His hands found her waist as their lips connected. 

A while later, that pin she’d stuck in for later snapped back into her mind, and Sarah pulled away. “What did you mean about getting traded?”

Well, they might as well have all the hard conversations all at once. “I’m in contract for the next three years, but after that, or even before, there’s always a chance I could get traded.” 

The trade deadline had already passed for the season, and Sarah had watched, fascinated, as players were moved around from club to club, like pieces on a chess board as organizations tried to build the best teams possible. Now, she had a new level of understanding, knowing lives and families were being uprooted in the process.

“But they love you here.”

His smile was wide and genuine, “I love it here, too. I don’t really expect I’d be traded anytime soon, but I can’t say never with what I do. I could get seriously injured, or my game could crash.” 

She gave him an incredulous look. 

“Its happened before.” 

“To you?” 

“No, but it has to people I know. I really like it here, but I can’t guarantee I’ll play here forever, or even for the next three years. I think I will, but I can’t say for certain.”

“What happens if you get traded while I’m still finishing my degree?”

“I don’t think that will happen, but I guess we’d make it work apart until you were done. Most players get traded right at the end of their contract, so we’d be apart for the rest of the season, and then we’d decide what to do moving forward. If I was moving clubs by choice, we’d decide where to go together. ”

She nodded. “Do you get any say in trades?” 

“I think I probably would, but it doesn’t always work out that way. I mean, Bo had a monster year last season, but they couldn’t come to an agreement, and so he got traded, and I know he would have liked to stay. It’s just never guaranteed.” 

“How do you live your life like this?” she asked. 

He shrugged, “you just kind of have to get used to the idea that things could change tomorrow.” 

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.” 

The concerns his parents had expressed when they were here snapped into place, and a sudden, consuming worry that she might not want this kind of life overwhelmed him.

“Are you,” he paused to lick his lips, trying to find the right phrasing, “I mean, do you think you could be okay with that?” 

Even as it was racing with anxiety, the worried look on his face melted Sarah’s heart. It was difficult to reconcile the fact that while it felt steady now, his life had the possibility of being in flux all the time, and that where he chose to work was only partially up to him. At the same time, she didn’t want to be without him. The pull between them was too strong, too fated in a way she couldn’t deny. She was too in love with him to be scared of the reality of his life. 

There was only one thing for it. “It’ll take some getting used to, but I think I can,” she said. Perhaps this wasn’t even something she needed to be worried about. Thoughts buzzing, she tried to think of players on Quinn’s level who’d been traded recently. She couldn’t remember any off the top of her head. She’d have to look it up. 

He gave her a relieved smile, and she saw moisture shining in his eyes. 

“Oh, Quinn,” she said, her hands coming up to cup his face. The course hairs of his beard tickled her palms. “I think I’d probably move to the ends of the earth with you.” The words just fell out of her mouth, and once they were out there, spoken aloud for everyone to hear, she realized how true they were. For someone so practical, it was strange for her to have such a frivolous thought mean so much. 

His face split into a beaming smile, and he pulled her into a hug. Tucking his nose into her hair again, he let a few grateful tears fall. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” he said. 

“I don’t know either.” 

A sudden, surprised laugh barked from his chest, and he pulled back with a raised brow.

“Oh no,” her hand went to her mouth as a blush blazed over her cheeks. “I meant that I feel the same way.” Shaking her head, she wondered if she had ever said something so stupid. “You’re the most understanding, accepting man I’ve ever met, Quinn. I’m so glad the Universe brought us together.” 

He nodded, “me too.” 

Looking into his eyes, which seemed more hazel than usual to the point that she could almost see a ring of green near the iris, the reality of what was coming hit her square in the chest, “this summer is gonna fucking suck.” 

“I know,” he said, pulling her into his lap. 

Arms around his shoulders to bring herself closer, her feet hung awkwardly off the sides of the chair. Though she knew her toes would be tingling from lack of blood flow within a matter of minutes, she didn’t readjust, savoring the feeling of his solid chest against hers. 

The deep breath she sighed out moved her whole body against his. “We’ll get through it together, right?” 

Tightening his grip, Quinn agreed. 

As the minutes passed, his hands traveled over her back in slow, calming waves that put her totally at ease. 

“Do you have homework?” he asked quietly, almost as if he didn’t want to hear the question himself. 

“Yeah, but it can wait a while.”

A pleased little hum filtered up his throat, and he pulled her tighter against him. 

“Can we move to the couch, though?” she asked. “My feet are falling asleep.” 

Laughing, he stood, hands cradling her butt to keep her wrapped around him. When she hooked her ankles around his back, Quinn filed the position away to try later. 

Halfway up the stairs, Sarah unwound herself from him. Sure, he was an athlete, but carrying her up the stairs was still taking a toll. 

She lay down on the suede couch and held her arms open for him. He gratefully lay on top of her, his head on her chest. 

Running her fingers through his hair, Sarah replayed their relationship in her mind. Knowing what she knew now, both about Quinn’s celebrity status and his quiet nature, the fact that he came up to her at all was a miracle. He could have any woman in the city, and he’d stuck his neck out for her. It was overwhelming to think about sometimes. She hoped she was living up to his expectations. 

Half an hour later, Quinns phone chirped with a notification, bringing them out of their sleepy reverie. By that time, they’d switched places, and Sarah was draped over him. 

“It’s 6,” he whispered into her hair. “I’ve got to get up to make dinner.”

Even as she whined, Sarah pushed herself up. This soft, caring version of Quinn was always her favorite, and she didn’t want to let him go. “I love you,” she said, looking down at him.

“I love you, too,” he said, standing and hugging her to him again before they had to get back to real life.

Her arms tightened around him. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you, Quinn Hughes, but I’m so glad you’re mine.” 

Tucking his face into her neck, he pressed a few soft kisses there before telling her, “Sarah Roberts, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Daisies and Talks

Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

Hi lovelies! Lia here and I know this pic is a bit misleading but I SWEAR on you that Simon doesn't die in this one, IT'S A HAPPY STORY OKAY. I was debating on making this a part two of Ghostie's parents progressed and though you're free to think that, I thought it would be much cuter to leave this to stay as a story on it's own.

Ghost's mum plays a big role in this one though so if you're not very comfortable with mentions of death or anything then I suggest leaving this one out and skipping. Two posts in one week? Are y'all lucky or am I just emptying my drafts? Y'all will never know.. AHAHAHA.

My CoD Masterlist

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld

I'd like to think that everyone is familiar with the saying "You never know what you have until you lose it", many of us having it said during childhood but you never truly experience that till your older right? Wrong, that couldn't be more wrong for a man like Simon Riley, the man who lost it all at a young age, no one left to care for him but himself.

He always used to hear that from his mother, over some the toys she used to make for him that he cherished and loved so much as a kid. Simon knew his family wasn't up their with the middle class but he also knew they weren't exactly poor, though his father might prove that wrong with how much he's driving the family into debt.

Due to this, Simon always taught himself never to get attached to another person though he tried working on it, he doesn't know what he'd do if he does. That was before you came along skipping your way into his frail heart, making all the walls her built crumble with just a few words and a soft stare, someone who was patient enough to stay.

Simon can't let you go, he took that saying that his mother used to chant and took it to heart. He didn't need to lose you to know you were so fucking important, like that the man held onto everything that you were.

Cherishing moments with you although sometimes wishing his mother could see you. He wanted his mom to know that he found that person that only is in fairy tales she used to read him to at night. Maybe you were sent by her, that's it right?

Because all Simon could think about staring at your face while you sleep next to him was "how?". How were you able to wiggle your way into his heart so easily? You make him feel so alive and full, sometimes it causes him to be self-destructive, starting fights simply because he doesn't think he deserves you but you were so patient, holding him as if he was the whole world after every fight.

Because of you, that part of Simon slowly disappeared, knowing that he should change his ways because you deserved better. They say there's one moment in someone's life where you know for sure that, that is the person you want to spend your life with. Do you wanna know what that moment was for Simon?

Every death anniversary of Simon's mother, he visits that grave, sometimes a little later than usual. You've been in a relationship with this man for a little over a year now and to say you've grown attached to that man like he did to you was an understatement. He saw you there, leaving flowers.. Daisies in particular, he told you those were her favorite.

You sat next to the grave, absentmindedly staring up at the sky, it was beautiful out that day. You talked to yourself, more like his mother really, greeting her quite casually as if you've talked to her before. Simon at first found it a bit odd, though he did tell you everything regarding where his mom was buried and dates when he'd visit her.

You've been doing this secretly for at least once a month for a couple now, not having the heart to tell Simon but it just so happens that he was a little earlier there than he usually does go. He hid himself behind among other things surrounding the grave, listening to the conversation you've been having with his mother's tomb stone.

"He's been doing better now.. I'm sure you're so proud of him because am I, I know you're watching over him and I promise to do my best to make Simon happy and make sure he's cared for, he deserves all that and so much more"

Simon listened, on and on as you continue telling his mother updates on his life and how he's been doing. He put two and two together slowly realizing that you've been visiting her grave for a while now.

"Thank you, if it weren't for you then I wouldn't have Simon. My Simon.. someday I'll help him create the life you'd want for us, I know he'd just say that you would want what we want and I know that for a fact. I wish you were here, I would've loved for you to see Simon smile again."

You looked back at the grave. "You know Mrs. Riley, I feel safe here, are you the one doing that?" Smiling as you looked up and rested your eyes a little.

You leaned back a bit with a satisfied sigh hum after a deep breath, Simon's deep voice making you jolt up, "You know she'd want you to call her mom right? Or at least Ma Riley is what the other kids who she practically adopted in the neighborhood call her" he walked out from wherever he was hiding himself.

"Simon I-" You were cut off by seeing the tears running down his eyes, you stood up from where you were sitting, not bothering to dust off your backside that probably had grass stuck to your clothes.

You immediately wrap your arms around your boyfriend and gave him a tight squeeze, letting go only to cup his face in your hands and wipe his tears with your thumb, Simon leaned his forehead on yours, looking at your eyes with his teary ones.

"Oh Simon, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done this without asking for your permission. God I'm so stupid, you hate me now, don't you—" Before you could even continue what you were saying, Simon cut you off with his shushing, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead.

You knew it must've meant a lot to him, he didn't have enough words to describe how grateful he was for you. Unbeknownst to you, whenever Simon did talk to his mother, he'd always find himself worming to you somehow.

One of the reasons he had brought the ring between his fingers at that very moment, coming to ask his mother's grave for guidance on how he's going to do it..

[bloatedandalone04]

Illicit Affairs

➪the one where leon is yours entirely, even though he is married to someone else.

Warnings: cheating, affairs, swearing, unprotected sex, fluffy sex, mentions of cheating, angst, smut, toxic relationships, small amount of ada slander since that is actually a warning i found out, mentions of divorce and all that fun stuff

Word Count: 3.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Left the door unlocked, just in case. I hope you had a good day.

That was the text Leon is met with as he enters the house he shared with his wife. His thumbs ghosted over the screen, his mind trying to come up with a good enough answer that wouldn’t leave you feeling cheap. There was nothing he could say through text, he decided, and he ended up pocketing his phone and heading towards his bedroom. 

Ada was sitting against the headboard, picking at her freshly painted red nails with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Her engagement and wedding rings reflected off the bedside table lamp, and Leon wished he cared enough to remember where he had placed his own wedding band after taking it off many weeks ago, but it held no meaning to him. “Late again, Leon,” she muttered, glaring at him as he entered the room. “What was it this time?” 

Leon huffed as he walked towards the dresser. “Work,” he answered and he was being completely truthful, not that she’d ever believe him - which is quite hypocritical, if he had to be honest. He was well aware of the many times she came home late, and the many more times she never came home at all. She was just as bad as him, maybe even worse. “Like last time.”

Ada scoffed, tossing the sheets over her body and crossing her arms. “Liar,” 

She was trying to get under his skin, something she has always been able to do, even back when he was twenty one years old. Now at the age of twenty eight, he had no idea why he still continues to put himself through this. 

He was so sure that what he felt for the woman was love, but after four years with her, he quickly found out that it was lust. He met her when he was just starting out and had no idea what love even was, but he knew that it wasn’t what he felt for her. 

At first he was infatuated with her. It was a cat and mouse game that left him feeling like he could never truly and fully have her, and that was still true to this day. 

He married her, and yet she still wasn’t his. 

The guys she met at the bar. The men she ran into on missions. The rookies who had information she wanted, but didn’t need. She was all of theirs, as well as Leon’s, but never in full. 

Leon kept his back to her as he rolled his eyes and rummaged around in his drawer. “Whatever, Ada,” he muttered, grabbing his grey sweats before opening another drawer. 

“Don’t whatever me, Leon,” she seethed. “Don’t act like you haven’t been sneaking around on me. We both know you have. Some poor, naive girl who thinks you’re actually into her but probably doesn’t even know you’re married to me.”

Leon hated the way she was talking about you, and she was once again getting under his skin. He slams the drawer shut loudly after grabbing a black tee, turning towards his wife with a fire in his eyes. “You’re one to talk,” he growls. “You’ve been sleeping around since before we even got married. You haven’t changed, and I was dumb enough to believe you would.”

Ada’s eyes widened a bit but she tried to hide it by sitting up a little straighter.

He caught her, though. And they both knew it. “Yeah,” he laughs, the sound lacking any humor. “Haven’t been as discreet about it as you thought, huh?”

Leon turns to leave the room, but she wasn’t done playing with him, clearly. “Oh, come on, Leon,” she called out, dropping her attitude and making her voice sound sultry. “We both know how good we are together. Just come to bed with me. We can forget all about this.” 

She pushes the sheets off her body and crawls over to him, kneeling on the bed and running her hand up his arm. “Ada-”

“Shh,” she purrs, reaching her hands up and capturing his lips in a messy kiss. He doesn’t move at all, even though he wants to pull away, he also wants to prove a point. The fact that this was the first kiss they’ve shared in months should be a clear enough sign that this was completely over. She smirks when she pulls away, licking at her slightly wet lips. “See? You feel that?”

Leon didn’t know what he was supposed to be feeling, but he knew that she was trying to coax him into bed with her so he can fuck her and then pretend like their relationship was a normal and healthy one. 

When her hand wanders down his body and is about to touch him through his jeans, his own shoots out and his fingers wrap around her wrist, successfully halting her advances. “I don’t feel a thing,” he says, his voice so serious it had her eyes narrowing as she ripped her hand away from him. 

She sat back in disgust, crossing her arms again. “You can’t leave, Leon,” she states, unaware of just how far gone he is from her control over him. He’s detached from her completely and felt nothing for her but resentment. And maybe a little anger at the years he’s wasted chasing after her when she didn’t want him at all. 

“I want a divorce, Ada,” he says, voice monotone as he turns away and leaves the room. 

She yells harsh words after him but makes no move to stop him, further proving the point that she didn’t care. And neither did he.

Leon hates how much time he’s wasted with her when he could’ve been with you. You could’ve been his, officially, had he not been so afraid to let go of something he’s spent so much of his adulthood holding onto. 

He grabs his keys from off the counter, where he had tossed them not even ten minutes ago when he arrived home, and leaves the house, his mind on you as he hastily types out a reply to you and starts his car.

-

I’m sorry.

You read the text over and over again as you lie on your side in bed. 

What was he apologizing for? For stringing you along? For promising he’s going to leave his wife but never does? For not showing up tonight? 

The night was still young, so he might still show up, but the fact still stands. 

You felt terrible. 

Leon’s marriage was an unhappy one, and you knew he found happiness with you, but he hadn’t made it official yet, nor had he broken things off with Ada yet. Was it all a lie? Does he only come to you for an easy lay? For a sense of normalcy? 

You weren’t sure you wanted the answer. 

Falling in love with him was slowly breaking your heart, but you really didn’t have a choice. Leon was every girl’s dream and only became unfaithful when he grew sick of the lonely nights where his wife went off and fucked half the town. 

From what you know, you’re the only person he’s seeing, and that was enough for you to keep on inviting him to come over and escape from that environment. 

How Ada could ever take him for granted was beyond you. 

You shut off your phone and set it on the nightstand beside you after reading the time. It was nearing twelve in the morning and you were beginning to feel a bit like an idiot after sending that text to him. 

It was an invitation to stay at your house, and you even threw in a dumb line about his day, all because you knew Ada didn’t care enough to ask him that herself. 

As you begin to get more comfortable in bed, the sound of the front door opening then locking pierces your ears. Your mood lifts considerably at the fact that he had shown up after all, but you also knew you would be met with the same old line of ‘I’m going to break up with her, I promise’. 

You really weren’t sure how much more your heart could take. 

Quiet footsteps neared your bedroom, where the door slowly creaked open. “Y/n?” His soft voice called out and you just shifted to let him know that you were still awake. Leon kicks off his boots and drops his sweats and tee onto the top of your dresser before pulling the covers back and moving to lay behind you. “Sweetheart.”

“Hi,” you greet quietly, keeping your back to him. 

“Hi,” he says back, wrapping his arms around you. “I missed you.”

You stiffen slightly. “Did you?” You ask harshly, instantly regretting it when he doesn’t respond. You turn your head and look back at him, seeing guilt swim in his blue eyes, even in the dark room. Sighing, you turn back around. “I missed you, too.”

Leon could hear the tiredness in your voice, and he knew it wasn’t because of how late it was. He knew it was because of his broken promises of leaving his wife, but never sticking to them. Until now. “Baby,” he called softly, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the side of your head, smiling at the way you lean into his touch. “I asked for a divorce.”

That had your eyes widening and you tried to turn around, but his arms kept you still. “Really?” You ask as you settle against him once again. When he nodded and hummed, you added, “When?”

“Before I came here,” he answered, tangling his legs with yours under the sheets. 

Your lips tremble as you try not to get too ahead of yourself. “Leon,” you nearly whisper. 

“It’s over,” he confirmed, kissing your head again. “I promise, this is the last time. She doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” 

“And me?” You felt selfish for asking, but you needed to know that you weren’t the only one feeling this between you and him. 

Leon’s hand slides under your shirt as he pulls your body closer to his. “You’re my girl,” he mumbles. “And I love you.”

Your head turns again and you keep your back to his chest as you grin. “You love me?” 

He nods, leaning in and brushing his lips against yours. “So much,” 

Reaching behind you, your hand tangles in his hair as you pull his head closer to yours. “I love you, too,” you confess, pressing your lips to his afterwards in a kiss that was all smiles. “I missed you, Leon.”

Leon runs his hand higher up your body and strokes the undersides of your breasts. “I missed you, too,” he says as he kisses along your neck. “I thought about you all day.”

“Leon,” you hummed, gripping his hair tighter as his fingers began to tease your nipples. His thumb and index finger gently pinch and pull at the buds, making your legs squeeze around his. “God.”

With the arm that is pinned under your body, his fingers continue to tease your chest while his other hand slides down your body. “I need you, sweetheart,” he nearly begs. “Please.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this about Ada, and it was clear that you had completely changed his perspective on what a real, happy relationship looked and felt like. 

You remove your hand from his hair and wrap your fingers around his wrist, sliding his hand lower down your body until he is softly rubbing your clit through your panties. “Take me, Leon,” you request in a whisper, reaching behind you so you could gently palm him through his jeans. “I’m yours.”

Leon kisses you deeply, sliding his hand in between the lace and your skin so he could properly tease your clit. “All mine,” he stated when you pulled away and moaned. “‘M all yours, too, baby.” 

You whimper when his index finger gathered up your wetness before sinking into you knuckle deep. “Leon,” you moan quietly, struggling to unzip his jeans from the position, but somehow managing to.

“God, you’re so perfect,” he murmured, kissing your shoulder blade. He thrusts his finger a couple of times before adding his middle and allowing his thumb to rub bruising circles onto your clit. “Everything I could ever want.”

This is how it’s supposed to be. 

You never pressured him to do anything, never forced anything or broke his trust in any way. It felt so right with you, like how a relationship should. 

He didn’t have to force himself to love you, that was something that came naturally, and quite quickly. 

Running into you at that bar nearly seven months ago was one of the best things that has ever happened to him, and he wouldn’t take that day back for anything in the whole world. 

“Leon,” you moan and it’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. “Please, fuck, I need you.” 

“I’m right here,” he promised, kissing the side of your head as he slowed down the fucks of his hand in order to help your own rid him of his uncomfortable jeans. “You want this?” He asks, just to be sure you weren’t thinking this was all he came here for. 

Really, he would’ve been completely content with spending the night fully clothed and in your arms, but he was also more than okay with ending his day with you wrapped around him. 

“I want this,” you kiss him deeply, the angle making your neck hurt a bit but you don’t care. You kick off your panties as you ask, “Do you?”

Another thing he wasn’t used to, the question of consent that sounded so sweet coming from you. “Always,” he answered, kissing you again when you reached back and pulled him free before guiding him to your slick entrance. He slips into you with a deep groan, the quiet gasp you emit making his head spin in the best way. “I love you. I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

You shake your head and reach back to grip his hair as he pulls your leg to rest over his. “I think I would’ve waited forever, Leon,” you confessed as he began to slowly rock into you. 

He grunted quietly at your words and felt his whole body heat up, as well as his heart begin to race. He had never felt this way before, and he was glad he had found the person to experience this with at a still young age. 

Leon didn’t ever want to let you go after the first night he met you, and that only intensified as the months went on. “Yeah?” He asked as his hand settled on your hip, his other arm wrapping tightly around you. “I can promise you this, baby, I wouldn’t have made you wait that long. But I love you for telling me that.”

You lean back and kiss him, your brows furrowing at the slow fucks of his hips. “I love you, too, Leon,” you say back, placing your hand on his that was still tightly gripping your waist. “I just want you to be happy.”

He kissed along your neck, his teeth nipping at various spots. “You make me happy,” he rasped, pulling your body impossibly closer to his as he loved on you in more ways than one. “I’ve never been happier.”

You moan at his words, your heart swelling with pride and a bit of shock at the fact that you were, it seems like, the only person who truly has his entire heart, and the only one who has made him feel like this. 

At the sound of Leon’s quiet grunts, you allow yourself to lean back and against him completely, the assurance that he was yours entirely after tonight at the front of your mind. 

“You make me happy, too,” you say as you bury the side of your face in your pillow. Leon hums in response, pushing your hair away from your neck with his nose before kissing the skin there. “Leon…can I?”

He opens his eyes and looks down at you, noting the way your head was turned so your lips were ghosting against the base of his throat. Without you even finishing your question, he knew what you were asking, and he somehow got even more turned on at your request. 

A deep grunt leaves his mouth as he nods, gripping your hip tightly and thrusting into you. “Yeah, baby,” he answered. You smile and moan quietly before kissing his neck, your lips teasing his spotless skin. He grunts again, tilting his head a bit and exposing more of his neck to you. “Do it, baby. Please.”

You give in and suck a mark onto the base of his throat, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat against your lips as you stay there for a bit. He groaned loudly, and the thought of Ada seeing the hickey when he returned back to her with divorce papers sent his mind into a frenzy. He wanted her to see it after seemingly assuming that he had no one other than her. Oh, how wrong she is.

Pulling away with a lopsided grin, you bury your face in the pillow again when he sped up the pace of his hips.  

He couldn’t wait for this to become his normal life soon. The sound of your sweet moans filling your room played on repeat in his head whenever he was away from you, and your kind smile was the only thing he thought about when he went to sleep. 

“You’re everything I want,” he promised as his hand slipped from your waist and found your clit once again. Your body shuddered against his as a loud moan left your mouth, and you reached a hand down to grip his wrist. “Everything to me.”

“Leon,” you whimper and arch your back a bit as you feel your high quickly approach. Your hand wraps tighter around his wrist as your moans increase in volume, chanting a multitude of “Please.”

“You close, sweet girl?” He asked, already knowing the answer as he felt you clench helplessly around him. 

“Yes,” you replied in a breathy whisper, pulling his hand from in between your legs and pressing it against your chest. “Please, Leon.”

He wraps his hand around your breast, his thumb rubbing against your nipple through your shirt. You cry out and he feels your walls spasm a bit as you come around him, your core sucking him in even deeper and begging him to mark it as his own. “Good girl,” he praised, kissing all along your neck while you writhe against him. “Good girl, baby.”

“Leon,” you whispered, leaning back into him again and turning your head so you can brush your lips against his. 

“I know,” he rasped, fucking you through your sensitivity. “‘M gonna come, too, baby.”

“I want it,” you begged, tangling your hand in his hair. 

And he would never deny you of something you wanted. 

He groaned and cursed under his breath, his thrusts halting altogether as he leaned down to kiss you again. You moan against his mouth, your fingers gently massaging his head as you both came down from your highs. 

When he pulled out of you, your body turned to face his. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you kiss him deeply and tangle your legs with his again. “You really mean it? It’s really over between you and her?” You ask quietly when you break the kiss, your fingers gently tracing his jawline. 

Leon turned his head and kissed your fingertips as he nodded. “It’s over, sweetheart,” he swore, kissing your forehead after. “I’m all yours. I always was.”

[saturnville]

bite, l. hamilton

pairing: he (lewis hamilton) x black best friend oc (anvika dawson) content: in which two friends cross a line people have been waiting for them to cross. warning: 18+ content song: bite by njzoma an: y'all know I don't write smut fr, so ntm. but I hope y'all enjoy it. wc: 2,498 tags: the girlies who were hyping me up to post this @boujiestpoet @mauvecherie-writes @saintslewis @greedyjudge2 @vile-harlot @emjayewrites

“Just because we’re attracted to one another doesn’t mean we need to sleep together. I’m off that. Plus, we’re friends.”

Anvika prided herself on being a woman of self-control and discipline. Though it did not come easy, years of abstinence grew dreary and at times, very lonely, her hard work was not something she was willing to risk. Her decision to step into abstinence wasn’t one she took lightly, nor was it one that she planned, but once Anvika began the journey of healing from a heartbreak, intimacy with another man wasn’t the priority. Though that had been over four years ago and she was well over the situation, she could admit that while it was difficult to maintain her self-control, not having to worry about anyone’s snot-nosed son brought more peace than she could ever imagine. 

“Even more of a reason to let it happen. Everything happens better when you have a solid foundation first. Everybody thinks you two are together anyways. He truly cares for you, in more ways than one.” 

Anvika hummed and rolled her eyes as she brought the slender champagne fluke to her full lips. The liquid went smooth down her throat. She shrugged. “Then let them think that. Lewis is a good man, a good and attractive man, but…”

Her friend, Onyx, sighed and downed her drink with a wave of her hand. “I don’t know how you do it! I would’ve lost my mind by now. I commend you.” Onyx bowed playfully which pulled a light laugh from Anvika. Though she was joking, she couldn’t help but sense the truth behind her words. 

Though swearing off men and intimacy had become a more common practice among women, many people found it taboo and unrealistic. She soon began to ponder--what if she’d never find anyone that could give her what she wanted because of how she chose to navigate her dating life? She shook it off internally. That would be a problem, but none that would be hers. 

Before she got the chance to respond, her phone rang against the glass table that held their expensive lunch on it’s back. LH flashed across the screen. She smiled softly which caught the attention of Onyx, who gave a teasing smirk. For someone who was insistant on keeping a strong boundary between herself and her closest friend, she surely smiled like a fool whenever he called. 

“I told you I have a lunch date with Onyx today,” she reminded the racer lowly, using her index finger to draw doodles in the condensation her water glass sweat off on the table. “Everything alright?” 

“Everything’s fine, angel,” he spoke smoothly. “Just wanted to make sure you were still wanting to join me for the event on Friday.” Anvika hummed and nodded as though he could see her. He was attending a gala in London and of course, offered his plus-one to Anvika, as he had done since their friendship had begun years prior. What was his, was hers, including access to rooms and events that would grant her opportunities to further her career as a branding and marketing consultant. 

“Yes,” she replied excitedly. “I still haven’t found a dress. What color are you wearing?”

There was shuffling in the background before he spoke again. “Blue. Don’t worry about it,  I’ll handle it.” Her heart fluttered. “Enjoy your lunch. Tell Onyx I said hello and call me later, alright?” 

Anvika’s teeth trapped her bottom lip. “Alright. Talk soon.” 

“Bye, love.” 

Anvika turned her phone on its face and looked up, catching Onyx’s playful eyes. Her thick eyebrow touched her forehead. “Friends, right?” Anvika gave her a look. Onyx raised her hands in defense, “My bad, my bad.” 

-

Lewis Hamilton was a gentleman. Sure, this was universal knowledge, but something about him being gentlemanly with her made her heart flutter and her stomach clench with desire. And it almost made her question Onyx’s point, “he truly cares for you; in more ways than one.” It’d typically be something she’d deny, but as she stood in front of the mirror with her hair done by a hairstylist he arranged to come, her nails done by a nail technician he’d flown out, and a dress he arranged to be custom-made to suit her body, how could she deny it any longer? 

“Don’t think too deeply into it,” she scolded herself, slipping out of her robe. She walked toward her dress, pulled it off the hanger, and carefully slipped into it. “You’re friends. Close friends who care for one another. That’s it, that’s all.” 

They met at the paddock six years prior. She was invited to her first Formula One race through her consultant agency, which took her team on an all-expense paid trip for their hard work. She wasn’t aware of Formula One, just of familiar names. Then, at the end of the match, she had the chance to put a face to the infamous name of Lewis Hamilton. 

“You raced well,” Anvika noted, taking in the slightly disheveled appearance of the raceman. “I’ve never been to a Formula One race; good job on giving me a reason to come back one day.” 

The man’s eyebrow raised in interest. He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscular build on display. “Is that so?”

Anvika nodded. 

“We can make that happen whenever you want.” 

It was Anvika’s turn to raise an eyebrow. A smirk played on her lips. “Is that so? Tryna be my friend, Lewis?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. Friends wasn’t too bad. Anything to get to know her. “Any man would be a fool to refuse that opportunity, Anvika.”

That marked the beginning of an inseparable union.

Anvika continued to mumble and grumble, doing whatever she could to keep her mind eased. Her self-conversations were halted by a knock on her door. Lewis. “Coming!” Holding her dress to her chest. She turned the doorknob, and the familiar scent of his cologne filled her nose. “Are you…oh. Oh.”

Closing the door behind him, Lewis’ eyes were trained on her, the most beautiful woman he’d laid eyes on. The dress, complementary to his suit, was perfectly designed and tailored to her. She was a fan of long-sleeved dresses, so that’s what she got. It was constructed with a heavy, luxurious velvet material and it hugged every riff, edge, and curve on her body. The neckline showed the swell of her breasts and her beautiful collarbone. The mermaid-like tail further accentuated her shape. 

Her hair was parted to the side and curled to perfection. The makeup complimented her features--thick eyebrows, full lips, and a round nose. And her scent, goodness, it suffocated him. The jasmine and almond notes filled his nostrils and he wanted to nuzzle his face in her neck and inhale like she was the air he needed to breathe. 

“You look beautiful,” Lewis managed to speak. His voice was so low that she almost didn’t hear his compliment. With a bashful smile, she thanked him and led him to her room where she wandered toward the bathroom, which had a series of jewels across the counter. “Help me pick a necklace?” 

Anvika turned to face the jewelry and fought hard to ignore the heat that radiated from Lewis’ body as he moved to stand behind her. From over her shoulder, his eyes followed the line of jewels the stylists brought. His eyes landed on a silver necklace; a thin chain with a multi-carat teardrop diamond. “This one.” 

Lewis took the necklace in his hands and placed it around her neck. Anvika lifted her hair to grant him easy access and shivered as his cool fingertips brushed against her skin. She inhaled deeply. “Stunning.” His breath was warm against her neck. They locked eyes in the mirror ahead of them. The tension was thick. Suffocating. His brown eyes, usually so full of love and warmth, were filled with something she couldn’t quite identify, but it made her body heat like wildfire. 

“I’m ready,” she announced, careful not to let her voice waver. She turned, purposefully ignoring the groan he released when she brushed against him. Her lips quivered as she tried to give a steady smile. What the hell was happening between them? Anvika placed her hands on his chest and soothed the non-existent wrinkles on his suit jacket. He was so handsome. “You look great, darling.” 

“Thank you…” his words came out as a whisper. He was too distracted by her. Six years of friendship and what he felt from the time he met her at the paddock all those years ago had reached a breaking point. He’d boiled over. 

Anvika tried to smile as she pressed a kiss against his cheek, but with how he reacted, her lips landed at the corner of his lips. She took a step back. “Let’s get ready to go, yeah?” 

Lewis swallowed thickly. He held his arm out for her, which she grabbed instinctively, and together, they were out the door with a million and one thoughts swimming between them. 

-

“And that beauty you’ve brought?” an older man questioned Lewis, who had his eyes on Anvika as she danced through the siloes of people in the room. The gala was nothing short of a popularity function, a random event on a random weekend for the host to flaunt their money and connections, Truthfully, his desire to attend dwindled once he saw her in that dress. She was the only thing on his mind. 

“Anvika Dawson,” Lewis said, nodding in her direction. “One of the best branding and marketing consultants in the industry. She’s amazing at everything she does. You’ve got a business, don’t you?” And that’s why he was a good friend, Anvika noted as she began to walk over, hearing him advocate for her in front of the man. 

“You flatter me,” she said with a smile as she took a position under Lewis’ arm, which slid around her waist. “Anvika Dawson, nice to meet you.” 

The older man, who had went by the nam Eli, shook her hand firmly and nodded in interest. “Well, pardon me, but the two of you would make a wonderful couple.” The young adult chuckled lightly; the comment was nothing new to them, but it seemed to bring them both discomfort given the fact that they had a very intimate moment just an hour before their arrival. Before Lewis could speak up, Anvika thanked the man sweetly then they were whisked in another direction. 

They were joined together at the hip for the remainder of the evening. And, on the rare occasion that they were apart, they stole glances from across the room like teenagers in a romantic sitcom. Soon, the event wrapped up and they were in the backseat of the car, sitting in a thick silence. 

Anvika sat at the right of the car, her knees turned inward and her legs crossed. With every bump in the road and swerve of the car, the tip of her heel brushed against Lewis’ leg. His breath hitched. She said nothing. 

The car came to an abrupt stop and the doors were opened for them. Before her foot could touch the ground, Lewis’ hand was awaiting. “Thank you,” Anvika said softly, and allowed him to guide her into the hotel. 

He still hadn’t said much. The walk to the elevator was quiet, yet, he hadn’t let go of her hand. What was he thinking about? If it was the sudden shift in their interactions, it didn’t go unnoticed by her either. 

The elevator doors peeled open and Lewis guided her in. He pressed the button, 10, that would send them to the floor their rooms were on. The elevator ride seemed slow as each ding indicated they’d entered another floor. 

Anvika cleared her throat and decided to speak up, “I enjoyed tonight. And again, you looked great. I love blue on you.” 

He couldn’t remember what happened between her compliment, her back against the elevator wall, and his lips on hers.  The only thing that forced him to key in was her hands pressing against his abdomen and his name falling from her lips. “Lewis…” What he’d heard time and time again in his dreams had finally become a reality. His stomach churned; could he get her to say it again? “What are you…” She cut herself off when she fell victim to the wonderful feeling of his lips against her jaw. 

“I just…” Lewis settled his face in her neck. “One night, Vi. Let me have one night with you…” Her heart pounded in her ears. What the hell was happening? 

“Lewis…” Her hand slipped and fell just above his belt. She extended her arm just slightly. “We can’t do this. I-I don’t want to mess up our friendship and you know I’m not going all the way with anyone--” 

Lewis hummed. His eyes sat low as he looked at her. She looked completely worn out as if he’d done to her what he truly wanted. Her forehead glistened with sweat, her lipstick was smeared, and her chest heaved. “Nothing will change for the worse, angel. And I don’t want to go there with you, just want to make you feel good…always have.” His left arm circled around her waist and his large hand palmed her backside. She whimpered. “Can I?” 

“Someone might see...” 

He ignored her. “Can I make you feel good?” His tone was stern as he repeated his question. Suddenly, the gala was out of her mind and the only thing that clouded her thoughts was him. Him and him only. Lewis Hamilton had infiltrated her mind and she finally stopped fighting it. 

The elevator dinged. “Yes…” 

-

“Should I…?” her hands reached for the necklace that shone beneath the dim lights of the hotel suite. Lewis shook his head and peeled his jacket off his shoulders, revealing a crisp white wife beater. He shed that too. Anvika’s breath hitched. “Keep it on. Lay back for me, angel.” 

Anvika looked like an angel surrounded by the comforter. Her undergarments were long discarded, save for her underwear which he kept in the pocket of his pants. The pure white of the sheets were a stark contrast to the richness of her complexion. Her hair was sprawled against the pillow with a few strands covering her face lazily. The look on her face was one of comfort, relief in one way or another. 

She welcomed Lewis’ body between her legs as he crawled on the bed and his lips against hers as he hovered above her. For the first time that night, Anvika’s hands didn’t tremble when she touched him. She welcomed the feeling of every ridge of muscle, every raised scar, and every mature tattoo. 

Their hands moved frantically over each other’s body, and it felt amazing. She hadn’t realized how touch deprived she was until she heard his chuckle in her ear. Her face warmed. She felt like a teenager. “It’s okay…” his lips ghosted against the shell of her ear. “Make all the noise you want.” 

Anvika didn’t respond--her mouth wouldn’t allow her to. As Lewis moved down her body, she sat on her elbows, watching and waiting. God, he was so handsome like this. His head was dipped between her thighs and his tattooed glistened under the dim lights. Slowly, he lips created an intentional trail from her belly down to the treasure just centimeters away from his mouth. 

Her fingers clawed at the bedsheets as the anticipation rose. She was becoming impatient. He was giving attention to every other place except where he wanted her. She huffed. “Lewis…” 

He hummed, clearly unbothered by her frustration. He glanced at her, “Yes?” She whimpered. “Talk to me.” He was amused, very amused. She was desperate for him. It was evident by the way her arousal seeped onto the bed. He gathered some on his fingers, using it as a lubricant as he finally began to touch her. 

Anvika gasped. His movements were slow and meticulated but they were enough to set her over the edge. He brought his lips to hers again, which she accepted sloppily. Her jaw fell slack as he continued to work her to her first release of the night. It came quickly, quicker than she would have liked. When his fingers hit that spot within her, her hips jerked and she squeaked his name. 

Lewis chuckled, “That’s it?” He prodded that spot again. “Right there?” Anvika nodded. He removed his fingers. She groaned in frustration, “Lewis, please!”

“Please what?” He brought his fingers to his lips and moaned at the taste of her on his tongue. If this was just the beginning, he couldn’t imagine how mad he’d go in the coming moments. “Tell me what you want.”

She clocked it. He wanted her to beg. Anvika wasn’t the begging type. She may have been far removed from having sex, but she always got her way, especially with Lewis. Her hands trailed down the muscular planes of his stomach. Her fingers hooked in his belt and pulled him forward. Her fingers curled around his neck and her nails toyed with the faded hair there. She brought her smeared lips to his ear, her tongue dancing against the shell of it. He shudder. “I want you to make my legs shake and rock my world. Can you do that, Lewis?” 

Her voice. The way her voice dropped in octave but increased in seduction had his head spinning. There were a few moments of silence as he fought hard to gather himself and the more she spurred him on, the most difficult it became. But then, she heard it, “Yes…”

-

“Right there, right there! Oh my…” He was a lover of music. Being in a studio, creating melodies to go with lyrics, was his favorite pastime. But this took the cake. She created her a song better than he could have ever imagined, and was it addicting. 

Her moans, cries, and screams were melodic and his name was the only lyric she knew. He hated repetition in music, but loved hearing hers. So addicting. So well created. So beautiful. 

Her legs trembled around his head and her hands were buried in his braids. He fought the urge to bend her over when she whispered out the faintest, “Baby, please…” She’d used terms of endearment before, but in this context, it was different. “I’m close!”

Her body, damp with sweat and covered in bruises created by his mouth, jumped and jolted as she grew closer to her peak. Lewis sat up, replacing his tongue with his highly skilled fingers. He used his arm to stabilize his body as he hovered over her. What a sight.

Her hair was completely sweated out, pooped and frizzy at the roots. Her makeup stained the pillows and her lips were swollen from her biting and his intense kisses. Her neck was dark with love bites. Her eyelids were hooded but he could see the fire behind her eyes. If only he could capture her and keep the picture in his pocket forever. 

“Doing so well for me,” he whispered, kissing against her cheek and jaw. His fingers made quick work of the huddle of nerves between her legs. “Taking it like a good girl.” Her moans grew louder, higher in pitch, and full of air. It was becoming too much—her hands pushed against his arm, trying to run. “Don’t run now. Isn’t this what you wanted?” 

“Lewis, I’m—“ she cut herself off with a high pitched scream that seemed to ring on forever. Lewis chuckled lightly and worked her through her orgasm. “That’s it, baby.” Her body shook as she tried to come down calmly.

He spent a few minutes between her legs, caressing her gently as an act of comfort. Her loud noises had diminished to soft whimpers as she came down from cloud nine. When she finally opened her eyes again, he asked, “You okay?” 

She was better than okay. Though they didn’t cross all the lines, Anvika had gotten the best orgasm she’d received in her life from a man’s mouth and hands. She’d deal with the consequences later, but in that moment, she felt amazing. 

She nodded and smiled lazily. “I’m okay. Are you…do you want me to…?” Her eyes fell to the evident bulge that strained against his pants. He shook his head.

“I’m okay. Let’s get you cleaned up…”

-

What was supposed to be a shower to clean her up resulted in her on her knees giving him the most intense release he’d experienced in months. It left him panting, shaking, and whimpering like it was his first time all over again. 

Once again, she looked angelic with her now curly hair flat against her back and big brown eyes staring at him as she worked him like the expert she was. He came in her with with a groan, his fingers in her hair. She stood to her feet, smiling innocently as she showed him there was no remnant of him left in her mouth. 

“You’re nasty,” he announced, grabbing her jaw to place a sloppy kids on her lips. 

“Mhmmm, just the way I like it.” 

They migrated to her bed shortly after, laying together in a comfortable silence. Anvika’s head was against his bare chest and herfingers traced the tattoos on his body. Lewis’ arm was around her waist and his hand massaged her plump bottom. 

They were tired, exhausted even. But, they fought sleep like children, internally afraid of what the morning would bring. All actions had consequences whether good or bad. It was a mutual hope that what they’d done wouldn’t bring on the latter. 

“Lewis?” Anvika called after some time. 

“Yes, angel?” 

“Are we gonna be okay?” Her voice trembled slightly. They’d crossed a line--a big one. She had wobbled on her boundaries. There was a lot to discuss and a lot to consider. It was an amazing experience, she couldn’t lie, but her biggest fear was that she’d lose him as an important person in her life if reality didn’t set in the way they intended. 

Lewis gave her a squeeze and brought his lips to her forehead. Sensing her worry, he reassured, “We’ll always be okay.” And she believed it.

[lis-likes-fics]

Your Delusion

Pairing: dark!Dream of the Endless x Reader Word Count: 4.8k words Warnings: NSFW, dubcon, somnophilia, fingering, oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, forced(?) breeding, swearing... A/N: This was to get me out of Writer's Block. Kind of worked? Dream is a bit (ridiculously) delulu in here. He's doing some mental gymnastics in here, and I applaud him cause same. Anyway, enjoy this strange, strange man.

You look so beautiful like this.

Wrapped in your sheets with your eyes so delicately closed, lips so delicately parted, breaths so delicately passed, you look like a dream. My dream.

And you shall always be mine.

No matter what you may believe.

Your rejection was a white hot burn in my chest, a clawing in my throat. The searing courses through my veins, but I know that I cannot blame you for what you had said. You meant only the best, you meant only not to worry me.

But you shouldn't need to worry. Not about such things.

When I saw you in that field, my field—Fiddler’s Green—I knew then and there that I could await our union no longer. I had to have you, I had to keep you.

You turned when you felt me near, and your eyes filled with confusion for just a moment before the recognition of my presence replaced it. You always knew it was me in the end. No matter how many dreams you dreamt.

“Dream lord,” you greeted me, with a smile so soft and true. Oh, how I love your smile.

I took slow steps across the green grasses beneath me, slowly approaching. “It has been a while since you have come here.”

I usually find you with the brothers of the First Story, or perhaps with Lucienne in the library. Other days, you would wander through other fields or amongst the waters of the Golden Rivers. But not then.

Then, you stood in the flowers of Fiddler’s Green. The very place we first met.

“How are you?” I wondered.

You glanced away. It was a shy little gesture, and a quick one at that. In no time, your eyes were back to me and it meant the world. “Better now,” you mumbled, placing your hand against a tree. “I almost forgot how beautiful this place was.”

Though I would usually acknowledge your words, I cannot help but to stare. “I have missed you.” I cannot always find time to see you with all the work I find myself caught in, but when I do, you never disappoint. It had been a couple of nights since last we saw one another, but it was a couple of nights too long.

“I missed you, too.” You said it as though you truly meant it, and that was all I needed. “How have you been doing?”

“Thinking.” I moved closer. There was still too much distance between us.

You tilted your head gently. “About?”

“Many things,” I shrugged. “But mostly you.”

You seemed almost taken aback by what I said, but you remain as kind as ever. “Me?” you chuckled—a bashful thing, really.

My eyes never left you. You're so beautiful, I mustn't ever look away. Perhaps I may lose you if I do…

“I can't keep you from my mind.” I watched as your smile faltered and your face shifted. “Every moment, I think of you.”

You tried to take a step back, but I grabbed your hands and held them within mine. I let the words spill, and I confessed what I had been holding in all this time. “You come and you go from my realm as you please. You smile and laugh as though any being could resist falling for the very thought of you. I look at you, and I know that what I feel is true.”

You looked away from me, down at our hands joined so firmly in one another. You close your eyes shut, and you squeeze them tight. “Dream, I don't think I understand.”

Then I would help you understand. You needed to know how much I need you, how much I crave you.

“I long for you,” I confessed. “Your beauty, your touch, your heart… And I can't keep from you any longer, my dear.”

I stepped even closer, the distance nearly squashed as I set my forehead against your own. “Dream,” your voice seemed so far away, so uncertain. But you mustn't feel that way.

“Be mine,” the desperation began to become clearer in my voice. “Join me as my wife and queen.” My thumb brushed the finger where your wedding ring would be placed. I would almost feel it now… “I shall protect you with my life and love you with all that I am–”

“No.”

The icy chill of your disagreement, the stern tone of your voice, it created a sour taste on my tongue that I deeply resented.

I did not break away from you, though my grip on your hands may have tightened a bit more than they should have. “What?” My voice is low, upset and full of disbelief. You pulled your hands from mine, and I knew that I had to let you or else I may have hurt you.

“Dream…” you sighed heavily, like it pained you. “I can't.”

My eyes fixed on you, and I thought you could see the sudden darkness in them. Perhaps you did, but it wasn't enough.

“Why not?”

“Look at you.” You gesture toward me, taking another few steps away to establish a distance that left me cold. Your voice was not as steady as I'm sure you hoped it would be, but it was firm nonetheless. “Look at me.”

Your hand slapped back down to your side. It was a defeated movement. Hopelessness filled you in the form of tears, and that's how I knew you cared.

“You are the King of Dreams,” you continued, “one of the Endless, the fucking—ruler of sleep and unconsciousness, who's been alive for eons.”

Your brows knitted together, and your hand reaches across your frame. “I'm some…human you've been talking to for the last year.”

I swallowed thickly, the sourness turning to a bitter agony. “Don't you love me?”

I sound pathetic asking, but I simply could not go another moment without knowing.

“Of course I love you!” you exclaimed, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. The leaves in the trees around us shook incessantly, yet there was no wind. Your voice was weaker when you spoke again. “How can I not?”

Hope filled me, if only for a moment. If you loved me so, then why do you choose to deny me your hand?

“But I can't have you,” you explained. “I'm mortal, you're Endless. I will die, and you will go on living for damn near the rest of eternity.”

If time was what concerned you, we could take it away.

“I can get you immortality.” I tried to step closer, but you stepped away.

You shook your head. “It's not mine to take.”

It was times like these where I wish you weren't so good. It was times like these where I wish you were more selfish, more possessive.

“Nonsense,” I disagreed. “If you were mine, the whole of the Dreaming would be yours.” You grunted with such frustration that my own crawled up my neck and into my teeth.

“Morpheus.” I still don't like the way you said it…with such a stern resolve, so bitter and broken. “I can't… I've heard about what happens to those who love the Endless.”

I nearly scoff. “Is that what this is about?” I shake my head.

If danger was what concerned you, I would quash the threats set against my love.

“As I said, I can protect you.”

“I'm not afraid for me,” you urged, “I'm afraid for you.” Oh, my love, you hurt me so. “You've lost so much, I can't hurt you like that.” You took tentative steps away from me, looking down and finding it so difficult to reach my gaze. “It is easier for you to let me go and move on, than to humor this ‘relationship’ and get the both of us hurt in the process.”

You looked up, despite the pain, and you moved forward to take my face in your hands. I must close my eyes to relieve the ache of you so close to me now. Oh, how deeply you cut…

“Forget about me,” you insisted, trying to smile for my sake. I could see how much it hurt you. “I know it's not fair, but it's how it has to be.” When my hands land on your waist, you drop yours from my face.

Reluctantly, you set your hands on my wrists and pulled them slowly away from you. Your voice was soft, wavery. You were trying not to cry. “I am not meant for you.” You take a deep breath in. “And you were never meant for me.”

I didn't know what to say. Though, I suppose it did not matter, for the next moment, you were gone. You left from the Dreaming, and you were lost from my sight.

But that was days ago. You have been avoiding me since.

But I've been there. At every turn, I have been there. And I know you feel me, you know that I am always there—lurking, watching, waiting.

You know it's me when you glance over your shoulder for the shadow in the corner of your eye. You know it's me in the shiver down your spine, the phantom billow of my robes as I ghost past. You know it's me in the faintest sound of breath out of sync with your own.

And I can tell that you know it's me now, in the walls of your bedroom while you lay fast asleep. You look so beautiful, soft and serene. To be in your dreams is one thing, but to watch you lost in your sleep is something else. To know that my realm has so much power, so much influence over something as perfect as you… If only I could watch you sleep forever.

Perhaps I could… but I shall not.

I don't understand how you were so sure of how deeply we did not belong, but I did know that you were wrong. Of course you're wrong.

We are meant to be together. We always were and we always will be. I am not prepared to let you go.

You worry so deeply about us, my well-being and yours if anything were to happen. But as long as there was a gap between us, we could never be together. If our eternal marriage wasn't enough to fill that, then I would just have to find something else.

Something deeper. Something more important than bands on our fingers.

And every kingdom needs its heir.

I shed my robes, the sky hidden beneath them as black as the darkest sapphires. My gentle steps are silent as I approach, the moonlight glinting on your skin now blocked by my frame.

Slowly, I sit on the bed beside you, and I cannot resist the touch of my hand against your cheek. You're so soft and sweet, especially when you lean your face into my hand. I smile, and I know you love me.

I lean down ever so slowly, and my lips press to your forehead. Your head shifts, a little keen against me. Oh, how you beg for my touch, my darling.

And I shall give it.

I remove the covers from your body, revealing you to me. Your shirt rides up your belly, exposing the soft expanse of your skin to me. I place my hand there, and hear you sigh. I slide down, my fingers caressing your skin until my hand dips below your shorts and presses to the cotton of your undergarment.

Your breath hitches when you feel my fingers against your clothed clit, brushing so gently, it's like a phantom touch. Still, you do not wake.

Spreading your legs for me, I cup your perfect little pussy in my palm and sigh. Just as I thought you'd be, warm and wet and waiting for me. I tease, stroking gently with my fingers to bring your arousal further. You squirm against my touch, but still you do not wake. You know I am here, you have no reason to fret.

I knew you loved me.

I lean down and kiss you, though you're so tired you do not kiss back. But that’s alright, you are all I need.

I pull away from you, standing once again and standing at the foot of the bed. I grab at the waistband of your shorts and pull them and your panties down your legs, pausing when you stir too much. When you no longer shift, I pull them off completely.

Oh, you are lovely.

My hands stroke the expanse of your smooth skin, and you sigh at my every touch. Your brows knit together, a far off focus in your dreamland. My fingers tease the seam of your sweet cunt once more, delving between your wetting folds to feel how hot you are around me.

You begin to stir again, but my hand to your stomach eases you. I do not want you to wake yet. Not yet. Soon.

Your walls clench around my finger, and I reward them with another. A tiny whimper slips through your lips. I massage my fingers in and out of you, deep and slow movements that coax more and more wetness from your cunt. My thumb presses to your clit, and your hips roll against me very slightly.

I can no longer control myself. I move onto my knees and hold your legs apart. I just want to taste you. And when my tongue meets the arousal seeping from your lips, a deep moan rumbles within me.

Such sweet honey you make all for me, only for me. I suckle around you, licking and sucking and tasting you with a growing enthusiasm. Your tiny whimpers are becoming moans, broken and needy as you keen into my touch. Your fists clench and unclench, your thighs try to close, your hips roll against my mouth. But I keep you steady, steady and still and open wide for me.

As I suck around your clit, I can feel you clenching around my tongue, which licks in and out of you and laps up your sweetness. You're so close, I can feel it, I can taste it. Your desperation for a release is a potent syrup on my tongue.

Your body shakes and your mewling moans fill the room when you come undone. You gasp, a pitchy, wonderful sound that makes me suck harder around your pulsing clit. You try to break away from me, but I only pull you closer, drunk on your taste and refusing to let up until I have had my fill.

It's a wonderful thing, watching you cum for me so deep in your sleep. I can see flashes of your dreams behind my eyes, skin against skin and warmth and passion and even brief images of me. I feel you tremble beneath me, shuddering and whimpering so sweetly.

I work you through your brief overstimulation, groaning around your pussy as your taste overcomes my senses. The intoxication is a precious salve to my hunger for you, but it does not last long. No, I will never not hunger for you.

And I soon shall never have to find myself starved of you either.

The next time you cum, your back arches off the bed and your mewls mix with your heavy gasp. When I hear the sound of your quickening heart and feel the tug of your slowly building consciousness, I pull apart from you.

Shh. Not yet. Sleep, my love. Soon you shall awake and see me giving you all that you desire.

I place my hand to hold your cheek, and your fluttering eyes steady once more as they seal shut in your returning slumber. And when all is right, I smile. Your slick allows my fingers to glide right through.

Perfect.

I move away, stripping the both of us until we're nothing but skin. The bed dips under my weight, and I pull your thighs over my legs.

Taking my cock in my hand, I hiss lightly. You've truly made a mess of me: hot and hard and leaking. I lean down to you, pressing my lips to the side of your face and dipping down into your neck.

“Don't worry, my love,” I whisper in your ear. “We shall be together.”

I line myself with you, and holding my breath, I thrust inside. Warmth blossoms along my body, and I shudder at the tight heat which welcomes me. “All of us.”

You whine as I push farther inside of you, going deeper and deeper until you've taken me all the way. A thick sigh heaves from my chest at the way you clench, and my hips stutter at the feeling. I pull back and thrust in once more, building a steady rhythm that grows with my passion and desperation for you.

You whimper and moan, squirming beneath me as you stir beneath the slumber I've placed you in. The images in your mind—our bodies, our lips, flashes and breaths—they mix like a cocktail that further my intoxication.

My thrusts are perhaps a bit too rushed for our first time together, but I cannot help it. You are better than I have ever imagined you'd be. I want to savor this, to take my time with you, to cherish each feeling and each taste and each sight…

But we shall have plenty of time for that in the future. Right now, I must ravage your body lying so pliant and willing for me.

I kiss your neck, taking the soft flesh between my teeth and sucking. You taste like flowers and honey, a precious taste I shall never tire of. I rut into you, listening to the sweet sounds of your slick along my cock, listening to your weak moans, your needy whimpers. I'm determined to make you cum with me as I rub your aching little clit with the pad of my thumb.

My need for you trumps everything else. I want nothing more than to bury myself as deeply inside of you as I possibly can and fill you with my love, a love that would take root within you and grow our dearest child. I hook my arms underneath your thighs and put you in the perfect position to receive it, chest to chest as I bury my face in the warm column of your throat.

“Oh, my love.” The words spill out of me as the pleasure grips my throat, and I thrust deeply inside of you. In the same thrust, your back arches off the bed and you actually shake in my arms as you cum around my cock, squeezing me so tight that I have no choice but to cum inside of you.

A rough groan tears through my throat and into your ear. As your tight pussy trembles around you, you gasp as the pleasure rips through you. I feel the harsh tug of sleep being taken from you, and you fully awake with me still buried so perfectly in your cunt.

You choke on my name, and the sound is so sweet that my hips stutter in a half-thrust that pulls a moan out of you. I smile, pulling back without pulling out and looking down at you. You're so beautiful like this, dazed from the pleasure, still coated in sleep with the confusion of it all.

“Dream,” you whisper again, your voice thick with sleep and something else. “Dream, what–?”

You don't have time to speak because I have already begun fucking inside of you again. I'm not quite done yet—I want to make certain that you shall carry my heir in your belly, certain that I shall claim you forever.

And I'm already so addicted to the feeling of your body. To be without it would be a crime.

With the relief of a release, I can focus now as I gaze down at you. My hips thrust in and out—a steady, quick, rough rhythm that has you moaning with loud and helpless sounds that are music to my ears. Your hands reach up, clenching my arms with an uncertain goal.

You struggle to speak, so driven by your lust for me that all you can do is form wordless words as I fuck you. You curse and swear, glassy eyes on me as I hold you close.

Suddenly, I pull out of you, and the most pathetic whine slips from your throat. I flip you onto your belly, spreading your legs and pushing your chest down as I enter you from behind. You welcome me, as I knew you would. My perfect girl.

“Hello, my darling,” I whisper through a groan after a particularly rough thrust. “Did you miss me?”

You mutter something of my name, and I smile.

“I missed you, too,” I say. I press my chest to your back, bringing my hand to wrap around your neck so gently. “But I shall never leave you again. And you shall never leave me.”

You try to say something but it doesn't matter. I pick up my pace, my strength. I hold you tightly and fuck into you with everything that I have. As my fingers circle your abused clit, you moan and gasp for breath as all the pleasure stacks on top of you, one right after the other.

“You're so good for me, my love,” I sigh. “You're always so good for me, as you sleep and as you wake.” Another whimper resounds.

I've longed for this moment for so long. This moment where you would be beneath me, moaning my name and welcoming me into your intimate warmth. Your body moves against me, seeking me out and shuddering under my touch as I give you everything you need. All the slick has built with the addition of my cum dripping out of you, coating me and the sheets below in white. The sounds we make together—the moans, the creaks, the smacks—it's a beautiful cacophony of sweet music. I could stay here forever, locked in this room with you and your body and your love, fucking you with all my passion and making love to you with all my heart.

Your hand reaches out to grab something, settling for the pillow, which you grip so hard, it looks as though you may tear into the fabric. The pictures in your mind have become so much more muddled. Now they're flashes of white, the vague movements of bodies and the vague sounds of groans. It's a mess, a beautiful mess of tangled thoughts and watered down cohesion.

Your moans shudder like cries when I pull another orgasm from your weak little body. As I fuck you through it, the pleasure becomes all the better as you go blinded by it.

“So perfect, my beautiful dear.” I pull out of you, and you sigh as I do, as if you think this is over. I turn you back onto your back.

My knuckles smooth gently down the side of your face as you stare up at me, your eyes glazed over. I kiss you, a deep, bruising kiss filled with all of my lust for you. It takes you a moment, but you kiss back. It's a wonderful feeling.

As our lips are joined, I join our bodies once more. You gasp into my mouth as my cock fills you once more. I trail my kisses along your jaw and back to your neck, painting you in love bites and taking you as mine.

My hips snap into you, my hands hold you tight, my lips lave along your skin. Oh, how I love you so. It shows in the way that I thrust, in the way that I sigh, in the way that I kiss, in the way that I hold you close to me. I can't let go.

A couple of stray tears slip down your cheeks, and I kiss them away. Poor thing, so full of pleasure that you're crying for it.

Without giving you much time to recover, my thumb is at your clit again. I've become utterly intoxicated with the sight of your undoing: the way you tremble and shake, the way you gasp and sigh. I love you.

And for a while, we stay like this, rocking and grinding and moaning into one another. The sight of our faces are drenched in utter bliss, and I bask in the moment. I can feel the beginnings of a second release prickling within me, and my steady thrusts begin to falter.

“I want to hear you say it.”

Your dazed eyes look up at me, your question interrupted by a moan. “Say–ah! Say what?”

“Tell me that you love me. As I love you.” I press my forehead against yours, rutting into you with all my strength as I begin to lose control. “Tell me, my darling. Tell me.”

“I…” You clench your jaw, arching your back as you struggle to speak through your pleasure. “Fuck, Dream.”

Your mouth is agape, and your eyes are closed so sweetly. But I need to hear you say it. I need it. “Say it.” My grip on your hip tightens, my thumb on your clit becomes more ruthless.

Lost in euphoria, you gasp and nearly choke on the words you give to me. “I love you.” You huff out a heavy breath, holding me tighter as your lips search for my skin. Their sloppy contact slides against me, wanting nothing more than to feel my skin against you. “I love you, Dream. Fuck, don’t stop, I love you.”

I sigh at the pleasure it gives me to hear those words on your delicate lips. “Again. Say it again.”

“I love you.” A whimpering sound mixes with a groan. “I love you, Dream.”

My fuse is running out, and with the way you tighten around me, I don’t stand a chance as my rough thrusts bring the both of us even closer to our highs. I can taste it on my tongue. The taste of your honeyed flower skin and your sweet arousal is my own personal wine.

My voice is barely a whisper in my haste. “Say it.”

“I love you, Morpheus.”

The dam breaks as I spill inside of you, shoving my cock as deep as I could possibly reach. Your gasp joins mine, and our sounds mingle with heaving breaths, your pitchy moans mixing with my deepened ones. You hold me as close as I hold you, and our lips slot together in the white noise of our ecstasy.

My hips continue their endless pursuit within you, desperate rolls thrusting within you just to make certain we’ve created our heir. For a while, I lay there on top of you, sparing you my weight but offering my warmth as I stay comfortably sheathed within you. Our gasping breaths have settled to gentle sighs, and you lay limply beneath me as you stare up at the ceiling. Contemplating.

When the time has unfortunately come to remove myself from you, I do as I adjust some hair from your face and kiss your forehead.

There was a fog in the room that I had not noticed before—not a physical one, of course. It’s beginning to clear in the aftermath of our combined pleasure. Your eyes slowly find mine, glazed still but the clearest they have been all night. Now that the blinding bliss has settled and you’ve fully awakened, there’s a clarity you’ve suddenly gained. You take in the sight of my face and I smile down at you, brushing my thumb over your cheek.

“Dream,” you mutter gently, to which I hum. “What have you done?”

My smile grows. I place a kiss to your lips, one that you seem to have trouble returning. Hooking my finger under your chin, I ensure you see me as I speak softly, a gentle hum that I know you shall hear.

“No one shall steal you from me now. Not even Death, no one. You are mine and only mine.”

Your eyes are glossy now, unshed tears gracing them that I hope to wipe away. “Dream,” you whisper, holding onto me with a tight grasp that I embrace. You look like you’ll say something, something dire and important. Instead, you close your mouth and smile, the kind of smile that must be pushed for.

“I love you,” you whisper. There’s an undertone to it that I dismiss. You’re tired, that’s all. I know you love me, and that’s all that matters.

I smile, kissing you again with all the love in my heart. My hand on your waist tightens, and I must remember that you are human. Pulling away from your lips, I brush my finger over your bottom one.

“I love you, too, my darling wife.”

Nothing can take that from us now.

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[onlyseokmins]

lusty gallant • c.s.c.

Pairing: choi seungcheol x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), roommates!au, fwb!au, lil angst if you squint

Warnings: monster dick cheol <3, swearing, breeding (mentions of pregnancy), size kink, lots of cum and cumming inside, fingering, bantering ofc, choking, lil bit of praise and degradation, hair pulling, man (dick) handling, prolly unhygienic sex tendencies, teeny possession heh, basically reader and cheol are pussy/dick whipped and heathens, sassy, and lil shits (affectionate). pls lmk if i missed smth I'm sleepy

WC: 2.6k

A/N: happy birthday to my beloved soulmate @duhnova <3333 you've been such a lovely presence and have become one of my favorite people from tumblr ❤️ ty for always matching my pace and being so loving and bright always! i really hope you like this heh i tried smth a lil different and we all know I'm secretly feral for cheol and love you lots <3 hope your special day is the best day ever! also happy 1st fic of 2023!! Many more to come I promise 💖 update: 9/6: sequel

When Seungcheol walks through the door with the biggest shit-eating smirk on his stupidly handsome face, you know he's up to something. It makes you want to tear off the beanie snug around his head. Oh. And maybe the rest of his clothes too.

"What is it?" you grouse out as he stands expectantly in front of the television screen. "This better be important because I'm missing the finale."

He knows this but still blocks the screen. Because he's also unbearingly smug, aware of how you can't stop checking him out. Where else are you supposed to divert your eyes when he's in the way though?

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Seungcheol has the audacity to wink at you through his clear-rimmed glasses, "you'll like it lots."

You easily feign disgust. "Why in the world do you think I will?"

"Because," he rocks back on the balls of his feet. Hands burying deep inside the pockets of his gray sweatpants only helps exemplify the outline of his big, long, thick dick inside. "You like me."

"Please. I've kept my end of the bargain so don't go assuming that I haven't."

It's the way his smirk grows wider that stops you from throwing even more daring accusations his way. You also know what kind of man he is. It was very obvious what you signed up for after agreeing to be his roommate. 

To ignore all his minor inconvenient and annoying tendencies in exchange for basically living without having to drop a dime for rent or groceries in a nice apartment.

"You like my dick."

Oh. And free cock. The best and biggest kind of cock you might have ever encountered and probably will ever again. No strings attached.

Except everyone knows that those nonexistent strings very much so exist. And are attached. To Seungcheol's cock. Not the man himself. Definitely not. He knows it. Your best friends know it. His own friends might know it too.

Even the couch knows. You grimace. Thinking back to the night before. And the night before that. And last week — 

Yeah, the couch definitely knows.

"Yeah occasionally, and?"

You continue to glower straight at Seungcheol's crotch as it seemingly moves closer to you. Every step he takes causes his cock to jostle slightly in his pants. Your jaw aches instinctually and you know you're probably drooling.

Disgusting.

But you are a dedicated whore.

"Occasionally, my ass," Seungcheol mutters in disbelief, more to himself if anything, already half hard. 

It's truly unfair how you frown cutely, seated below him so prettily with a rebellious glint in your eyes. Oh, how he loves to fuck that attitude out of you. Even now, the way your lips curl down in faux disgust causes his hips to jut forward.

"You're insatiable," you mock when he shifts even closer until his clothed cock nearly presses against your nose. Suddenly enveloped in his scent, you can't help but go ahead and nuzzle teasingly against his bulge.

"Says the one who begged to be filled up this morning."

His words make your hole clench pitifully, causing you to purse your lips. Soaked and stickied fabric sits between your legs. Not just from being constantly wet around this man. But the same stupid man who had naughtily pulled your panties back up to cover your poor spent and abused pussy after a long, hard sleepy fuck to ensure not a drop was wasted after cumming deep inside.

And you loved it. There was something special, something you treasured about feeling full of his messy release coating in and all over your cunt. It surely beats the warmth of his arms you've never felt when he nonchalantly throws the covers over your shoulders and saunters out with a literal bounce in his step.

You wonder why Seungcheol even bothers paying and staying in a two bedroom apartment when you both end up in the same bed. Maybe the variety of wondering who will crawl under whose blankets makes it all worthwhile.

"What did you want to show me?" you fire back.

"Oh," an eyebrow raises, "you think you deserve to see?" 

The feeling of his hand pushing your forehead back is harsh enough that your tongue automatically pokes out with the expectation of a heavy cock laid upon it. Instead, his fingers that stroke your cheek are gentle. Seungcheol is not a kisser. But the featherlight tracing of circles along your neck make up for it.

Your eyes roll back when his thumb rubs along your throat, the rest of his fingers wrapping around with a gentle squeeze.

"Hm?"

"Of course."

"I don't think so." Seungcheol's decision makes your jaw drop but he's not finished yet. "Always acting out and misbehaving like a total brat. Have I still not fucked you hard enough?"

You wince, shifting in your seat lightly, because that statement is not entirely untrue. For sure, you can't recall the last time you weren't at least a little bit sore, struggling to sit comfortably with how brutally he's had his way consensually with you. Still. Nothing will ever be enough to fully rid you of your brattiness.

It's simply a part of your wonderful personality that everyone should appreciate more. And Seugncehol does. He adores everything about you.

Not that you would know. You don't even attempt to understand the pondering look in his dark brown eyes while he casually squeezes and releases his grip around your throat. Unaware that he's thinking about purchasing that cute collar and leash set he saw. Gifting it to you as a one-year anniversary celebration present since you moved in. Wondering what color would suit you best.

"Shirt off, wanna see your pretty body."

It's easy to maintain eye contact and a naughty smile until the shirt has to be pulled off your head. There's no need to wear a bra at home, nipples already perking up before your upper body is bare. Surprisingly Seungcheol doesn't focus on your tits as expected and you meet his eyes again with a questioning stare.

"Show me," he coughs, changing his tune, "show me if you kept your tiny lil hole filled up."

Your cheeks burn. Not out of shame. It's just his stupid effect. Legs already shaking, you stand. He backs up, giving you space and crosses his arms, eyebrows pinching together as he observes every single movement. Your trembling hands tug at your sleep shorts that barely cover anything.

"Turn around."

You obey, of course. Sucking in a harsh breath and bracing yourself as you throw your shorts on the floor, sticking your ass out on purpose. You're sure your panties are an absolute mess to look at — you can feel it — and Seungcheol's loud grunt only confirms the truth that it's a visual to die for.

Even though the best part hasn't even started yet.

Continuing to bend over, you ease them down slowly. Slower than necessary. Every slide down further and further makes the fabric stick to your center, a filthy mixture of arousal and Seungcheol's cum drenching it. A clear string of your essence clings to the material when you finally get them off and his low curses only make your pride swell, pussy lips fluttering and pushing out more of a mess.

"You touched yourself." His disappointed tone is obvious. But the pleasant reminder of flicking lazy circles on your clit over your panties while dipping an occasional finger to play and move around the cum inside makes your body thrum in pleasure. "Seriously? And you thought I was insatiable?"

"What's the matter? I was bored while you ran your silly errands and left me all alone," you purr. "You can just fill me up again. Maybe try and keep your dick deep inside this time. Or let me cockwarm you after, promise I won't waste a single drop."

When you lick your lips and wiggle your hips, Seungcheol scoffs. "Desperate little thing."

He shuffles closer, taking time to lick his palm like a heathen before roughly cupping your pussy. It's not like there's a need to wet his hand. But the heady way you can't help but watch how stupid sexy he looks through your eyelashes only eggs him on. Fingers spread your lower lips so the rest of the thick white globs can fall out and then he's slipping one inside your cunt.

"Not like much can fit in this tiny hole. Surprised you aren't pregnant yet after being stuffed full." Feeling you squeeze and suck his finger in more taunts him to add another. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? That's why you keep asking for it."

There's no time to adjust to the way he curls his fingers just right that you're already dizzy with pleasure. And then he speeds up, shoving them in at a rapid pace that fills the room with loud squelching sounds and whimpering moans.

Your hands brace the back of the couch for dear life, upper body already lurching forward with the way Seungcheol can render your body to his will completely. You're sensitive but it feels so fucking good. Any twinges of discomfort are drowned out by fuzzy pleasure.

Then suddenly, you're left empty. There's not much time to complain about it though before he's rubbing his hand across your ass, smearing it with the glistening sheen coating his fingers. Watching how your cheeks jiggle in time. 

You hear a hum, a tickling sensation tracing down your back before he's pulling you up by the back of your neck to lay flush against his chest.

Hips rut against your ass, betraying his desperation and messing up his sweatpants — not that the man cares. He probably revels in it. There's something that makes you weak in the knees, though, with Seungcheol fully clothed while you wait naked and bare for him to make the next move. 

One moment his hand slides from the back of your neck to the front in a gentle chokehold, muttering something about "had to make sure you're nice and empty to take another load" and the next moment the world spins as he pushes you down on the couch.

You land on your back, supported by his strong arms so you barely actually fall. Hovering above you, he finally rips off his beanie and you gasp when pink strands flutter out down to tickle your nose.

"You dyed your hair?"

"Yeah, thought it'd look prettiest between your legs." Your pussy flutters at the mention and so does your damn heart. "Besides, you know what the color is named?"

"What?"

"Lusty gallant." Seungcheol beams when you erupt into delighted laughter. "See, isn't it perfect?"

"It really is!"

"Knew you had a crush on me."

His pompous smirk makes your teeth grind and you spit out, "Where did that come from?"

"You think I'm gallant. Brave. Heroic. A gentleman."

"Did you know?" Your finger pokes at his firm chest, sliding down, down, and down. "It also means a big… fucking…" you grab at his cock hard, "flirt. Yeah, it is perfect."

He hisses at the harsh contact. "I'm not a flirt!"

"Hm, sure."

Of course, he relents when you squeeze him even tighter. "Alright… maybe just with you, though. You know you're the only one I fuck. Can't help but rile you up, it's sexy."

You stick your tongue out in pure spite at him only to quickly retract it before he can pull at it like he enjoys. 

"You kept it long?"

It seems like such a hassle. You remember him pouting about doing something new with it and figured it'd be easier to cut before coloring it.

"You like pulling at it, so…"

"You like me pulling at it."

"Takes two to tango," he grins and leans back to tug off his pants. His cock slaps against the t-shirt covering up abs. Red. Hard. Angry. Oozing loads of pre-cum. "I could sit here all day instead?"

You go to sit up, ready to ride the smirking man into oblivion and shut him the hell up but he clicks his tongue, caging you in between his arms and keeping you on your back. 

"No, sweet stuff. I'm on top today. And you're gonna have to put what you want inside you yourself." 

As if it's a challenge. You bite your lip to try and stop your coy smile from lighting up your face. One last, tight clutch around his thick cock for good measure before you rub it along your outer pussy lips. 

"No," Seungcheol huffs out, "no teasing." 

It's a goddamn power trip for this man to be so close to losing control. You guide the large head inside your hole, knowing if you take it a bit too far any longer, you'll be in trouble if he has to beg. 

Despite the slow pace you take to ease his fat girth inside, once he bottoms out with his balls settled against your asscheeks — the brutal thrusts of his hips begin. They snap at an unbelievably fast pace, so much so that your body jerks uncomfortably against the scratchy material of the couch. Head dangerously close to bumping against the arm rest. 

"Hold on to me, baby." 

Unlike most cases, you don't grab onto Seungcheol's shirt or even cling to his powerful shoulder blades. Instead, you grip onto the long pink strands of hair on the back of his neck. 

His head jerks back with a deep groan echoing in his throat before he buries into the crook of your neck. Biting as he also buries his cock deep within in your sweet cunt, hitting that spot only he is able to reach every single time. 

"Knew you had a thing for hair pulling." 

"If you're able to talk nonsense," he sits back, holding your hips harsh enough to bruise. "must not be fucking you hard enough, again." 

He says, "Sorry, baby," dripping in a copious amount of pathetic degradation that you clench so hard around him like a vice. Seungcheol chokes. But when you start to moan non-stop, he smiles like a victor. 

"Could fuck this tiny pussy so many times but it never loosens up. Gotta relax for me or I won't be able to fill you up properly." 

The bastard isn't helping much, the dirty talk and desperate need to be bred only making your head spin more. Legs wrap around his waist to pull him in even as your pussy threatens to push him out. 

Seungcheol falls silent himself, too entranced by the creamy ring forming around his cock where your bodies connect. 

Promises of filling you up finally fall from his mouth as he nears his peak. Whispers of "mine" and "yours" he thinks you can't hear in your state but you always do. Reminiscing over them when you're alone at night. 

But that's not what matters at this moment as white noise fills your ears, almost blanking out as another incredible orgasm rocks your entire body. Seungcheol's release hits right as yours finishes, pelvis pressing close against yours to make sure you take every single drop as promised. 

He hates to even move away. But a couple shallow thrusts are enough to satiate his need to ensure your sweet pussy won't waste even a little bit until you whine from the oversensitivity. 

The urge to kiss your forehead is strong as you come down from your high. Instead, he simply stares at you with starry eyes in the vulnerable moment. 

One day, Seungcheol convinces himself that he'll be brave enough to utter what traitorously rings through his heart and entire being when he's with you. He's sure it's not the after-nut feelings but maybe it's best to wait until he's not balls-deep inside, too blissed and fucked out that he accidentally blurts it aloud. 

Perhaps he will when he gives you the collar and leash, a diamond-encrusted heart with his initials on the front and yours on the back. Tilting his head, he still isn't sure if pink, black, or red suit you best because you're too perfect. 

Maybe he'll consider white? Totally not a thought influenced by the gorgeous stains coating your most intimate parts and inner thighs. 

Definitely not. 

taglist:

@joshibambi @junhui-recs @pandorashbox @rubyscoups @woozluv @nonrevblr @charcharfairy @httpswonwoosglasses @yeosayang @buffhoshi @horanghae8star @noraehey @misssugarlips @onlymingyus @tinkerbell460 @aceofvernons @dejavernon

onlyseokmins: January 2023 ©

[fanfictilltheend]

❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 2:  ♪Remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥

Hi I apologize that a lot of these reference pics are just of white girls. I tried to find "aesthetic" images that go with the story but so many of them are just of white people and I want to call myself out for this because in the fic's only descriptors are that she has hair and is AFAB -- nothing about race. I also realize that all of the girls in this are skinny too and Y/N's body type is never specified. Sorry fam!! These images are just to get the creative juices flowing and don't truly depict anything from the fic!!

A/n: It’s here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I’ve ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (smut this time tho!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)

Summary: Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier.  SMUT and feelings <3 Also check out this playlist of music that’s in the fic!!!!

Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, pov change, Infidelity, threats, age gap, dressing Joel up (swear I wrote this before he wore that outfit to the SAG awards — the mr.Darcy-core one), racist comment (from Y/N’s douchey boyfriend), douchey boyfriend, confidence issues, feelings, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), kissing, penis in vagina sex — unprotected (wear a condom), lightest hint of ass play, scar worship?? kinda??, daddy issues, daddy kink, using music lyrics to move the plot, multiple orgasms (m and f), religion and god discussions, stepcest (kinda bc technically he is divorced from her mother), tagging psuedo-incest just to be safe!!, use of y/n

Word Count: ~13k

PART 1

AO3 Link

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a little crush on Joel Miller. How could you not have? The first day you’d met him had been like some kind of fucked up yet extremely satisfying whirlwind of a daydream. He’d come in, broad and tall and strong, and saved you from your evil (though you do love him somewhere deep, deep down) older brother’s onslaught. Protected you like a knight in shining armor from his punching, beating fists. Treated and touched you so tenderly, so many miles different from how your own father did that you’d been hit with whatever the pleasant opposite of whiplash is. And the way he finally punished Aiden after years of his reign of terror, the violence of it, the justice of it. You didn’t have words for it then, but the way you looked into Joel’s eyes when he was doling out that righteous punishment became some kind of strange secret understanding between the two of you. Maybe it was the first sign of love? You aren’t sure.

As a kid, he’d given you what you like to think of as quiet butterflies. They were always there when he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you, beat the shit out of your father and brother for you, but they were faint enough that you could ignore them. It was a comforting, fluttering kind of love, a gradual understanding of your loyalty to one another. But then puberty hit and the insects became incessantly loud when you thought of, wrote to, or talked to him. They ate at your heart day after day while Joel was in prison – the longing, the missing. Aiden told you that you were obsessed with him. Your mother told you to forget him, that he would forget you. But somehow, he didn’t. You wonder if those bugs live in him too. You wonder if they are quiet or loud and if they gnaw .

You think that they are probably loud. You think this for a few reasons. The first is that you know for a fact, you can feel it in the lining of your soul, and from the evidence of his constant correspondence and care for you, that he is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. The second reason is the fact that you think but aren’t one hundred percent sure is that the last time you’d hugged him he’d gotten a little hard (you don’t want to think too much into that because he is only a man who had been deprived of touch for a long time – but still you wonder…). And the third is the way he looks at you like you are the universe like you are the last drop of nectar and he is the last butterfly left on Earth in a famine. 

That’s how he’s looking at you now in the passenger seat of his old, clunky pickup. You know that he wanted to drive, but you wanted to show him how well you could because he had never seen. Never had the chance to see how well you had fixed, maintained, and took care of his baby and of course he gave into you like he always does. He's smiling at you quietly, but his eyes contain multitudes. Right now mostly pride at your driving.

Joel is a bit different than how you remember sitting near him in the truck the last time you were together, him as a free man, you as a little girl. Somehow, even though you are obviously bigger now, he still seems massive and broad and stronger than ever. His biceps are huge – probably from all the time he had to work out in prison – and peeking out under his blue t-shirt that you brought for him, you think you see the outlines of some tattoos. You look a little closer. On his right arm is text in curvy black ink. You think it reads, “Sarah.” You smile softly at that. On his other arm is a strange orange shape that you have to squint at to understand. The edges of the object are jagged but they form a shape like a badge – and then you know what it is! It is the guitar pick you made for Joel as a child. The one that had pricked his finger and drawn blood and he stuck it in his wallet. You can’t articulate how honored you feel that Joel loved you enough to tattoo something you made for him on his body, permanently, forever. 

“ Well , the light only turned green damn near eons ago,” he complains about your driving, but you know he is just teasing.

There is hardly anything wrong you can ever do in Joel’s eyes. He grins at you a bit lopsidedly and you smile back. You also can’t help but notice the greying of his brown hair. It’s a bit longer than it used to be too and the length gives it a little bit less of a shaggy look. You think it suits him, makes him look a bit older and more distinguished than when he first came into your life twelve years ago. 

Objectively, you know it’s weird to think that your ex-stepdad who is a convicted felon is hot, but it’s just something you’ve always known and thought like that the sky is blue or that orange is your favorite color. You know it’s weird to think of someone who was? – is? – supposed to be a father figure to you that way, but it’s already second nature at this point. You’ve had a few boyfriends (luckily all of them had treated you right), but none of the feelings you’ve ever had for them have compared to the cosmic-sized love and affection you have for Joel and you’ve never known anything different. The years you spent longing, missing, loving, obsessing over, and aching for him in every way under the sun, can’t be healthy, you know this, but they have eclipsed practically every other relationship in your life. No one has ever made you feel as safe and protected and loved as Joel has. No one else has ever looked at you the way he does. No one else’s entire existence has revolved around you the way his has. The sheer devotion in his gaze is enough to make the butterflies inside you scream and beat their wings against your insides like hungry bats. 

And you especially know you shouldn’t have these feelings about another human being violent enough to be capable of taking a life – inebriated or not. You’re grown now and know the man he killed was a scum-of-the-Earth child predator, and secretly you’ve always wondered if there was more to the story than Joel told the police in the official court transcripts you’d read as an adult, maybe even something to do with you since you had been there that day in the repair shop when they met , but you haven’t pressed because you’re sure the whole thing is quite traumatic for Joel and if he ever wants to tell you, you know he will. And more importantly, you don’t really care. Drunken, violent idiot or not, you were already deeply invested and never intended on wavering in that. You’re not sure there’s anything Joel could do to get you to stop loving him and that both terrifies and excites you. 

“Okay, whatcha wanna eat?” you ask, reaching out to rub Joel’s shoulder gently. “Now that you’re free you can have whatever you want! On my mom’s credit card of course. Swear I won’t tell her.”

Joel grins.

“Deal,” he tells you. “I was thinking of a nice steak dinner.”

***

You pull into the fanciest restaurant you can find in the tri-state area and sit down to order a regal, all-American, full three-course steak dinner (though you’re both woefully underdressed – not that you care – though the host gives you a dirty look). All the while, you tell Joel about your major (psychology) and how you want to become a counselor for abused children.

“That’s sort of beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you with a genuine smile that used to be so hard to coax from him, but now seems to float over to you so easily and gently like a kiss from something as soft as the wings of a butterfly. “Wanting to help defenseless children. You’re kinda like a guardian angel for them, ya know? Damn proud of ya! Also, these mashed potatoes are goddamn delectable!” he exclaims after taking an experimental bite. “Have I mentioned that prison food is shit?”

You smile bashfully and want to tell him that he is your guardian angel (you wonder if he thinks the same of you) and inspiration in a backward sort of way for wanting to help kids in the first place since he was so good at protecting you for the most part (though you obviously don’t believe violence is the correct answer in your line of future work). But kids need protectors. Somehow you know that deep down you forgive him for all of the violence he caused because you would forgive him for anything. And him being proud of you? You don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world than that! You burst with pride. Your real father never said that to you, but Joel doesn’t feel like your father now. He is something different entirely. Something that entirely belongs to you.

“And you’ll meet my boyfriend, Max, tomorrow,” you nod as Joel moves onto the steak and lets out a soft moan at how good it tastes. “He’s heard a lot about you.”

Joel’s face flattens.

“And who is this kid exactly?” he sneers a little, attacking the steak with his knife. 

You smile internally at the obvious jealousy he’s trying to hide from his voice.

“Hey, Max is a decent guy!” you insist in his defense. “He’s pre-law. Real smart. He’s gonna be an important person someday, I know it. You’ll get on.”

That last part is a bit of a lie since you’re not sure the two will actually like each other. 

Joel examines your face, looks deep into your eyes.

“All I know is, just because someone is important, don’t mean they’re good to you or for you for that matter.” 

You can’t help but think of your father, the most “important” man you know and how much of a degenerate he is compared to someone ostensibly average like Joel who didn’t even have a status symbol like a college degree and how perfect of a man you think he is, despite his obvious flaws. You blush a little, scrunching up your nose. 

“Just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart,” he continues, smiling at the way you do. “He ever fuck with you – he ever break your heart, you know just where to send him, alright?”

“Yeah, Joel,” you grin. “Don’t need you getting any more jail time though, alright?” “You may have made a valid point,” he concedes with a smirk. 

***

When you two enter your shitty, one-bedroom apartment it’s already dark outside. Joel actually grins when he notices his and your guitars have both been mounted on the wall. 

“We can play ‘em tomorrow,” you tell him excitedly. “If you want to, I mean…”

“Hell yeah, I do,” Joel smiles. “Wanna hear ya singing for me, honey. I missed that.”

You smile to yourself.

“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” you decide, getting back to business. 

“No way, babygirl. I ain’t taking your bed.”

“Joel, you’ve literally been on a prison mattress for eight fucking years! Can’t imagine that’s been very comfortable.”

“That’s exactly why I won’t mind the couch. That’ll feel like heaven to me. Don’t want you messin’ up your back, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth, but Joel beats you.

“And that’s that,” he insists. 

“Alright, alright,” you concede, knowing by the look on his face he’s not budging. If one thing, Joel has always been stubborn, but you like that about him. “D’you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Actually, baby, if ya don’t mind, I’d like a quick shower. Been dreaming about taking a real, private one for ages.”

“Yeah, of course!” you nod, motioning toward your bathroom door. “Towels are under the sink.”

Joel makes his way inside and soon steam is billowing out the bottom of the door. 

You busy yourself with some homework, but just as you walk past the door to grab a glass of water, you think you hear Joel singing.

You listen more closely over the fall of the running water and make out him singing the chorus of an old ABBA song with a deeper, sadder tone to it,

♪ “ Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in her mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / She keeps on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time…” ♫

You feel like such a sap, but you feel a tear forming in your eye at the way Joel must be thinking about his and your relationship and everything he missed in your life. You aren’t mad at him, but his absence hurt in a way you didn’t know you could feel. And you’ve never blamed him, really, but the lack of him for eight years of milestones really did kill a piece of you. You can’t help but imagine a butterfly at the bottom of your stomach with its wings pulled off. That’s how you felt all that time without Joel – like a butterfly without wings. A writhing worm of a human being, senseless and lost in a giant world full of forces you couldn’t control. 

You listen to Joel’s beautiful, deep voice until you hear him turn off the tap and you scurry away and act innocent. 

Joel emerges from the bathroom then with nothing but a white towel around his waist, steam from the shower floating lazily into the room behind him like precession. And oh, wow, is he ever a sight to behold. His hair is wet, dark brown flecked with grey, and starting to get curly from the moisture. You also can’t help but notice his broad chest, the expanse of it, the dark curls of hair, his bulking, muscular tattooed arms, his soft, hairy tummy, the V-shape of muscle that descends beneath the towel, his happy trail. You are overwhelmed by the soaking beauty of him. You’d seen Joel shirtless before, sure, but it had never felt like this . 

“Gon’ grab some of those clothes you bought for me and then maybe we could watch something?” Joel asks as you try so fucking hard not to stare at him.

“Sure!” you squeak, staring down at your notebook at the kitchen counter. 

You think you see a smirk from Joel, but you're not sure because your gaze is averted as he grabs some clothes to change into and disappears back into the bathroom.

When he reemerges, dressed in a wifebeater and shorts that accentuate his form, you two sit next to each other on your cushy sofa and surf the TV for something to watch. You feel Joel’s hairy knees against your jean-clad one and your heart flutters.

“Can’t believe I’m really here,” Joel says softly as you pass re-runs of Full House, a dog show. “Like I gotta fuckin’ pinch myself to know it’s not a dream.”

Suddenly you feel a large, weathered hand on your cheek.

“Missed you so much, babygirl,” he murmurs, looking into your eyes, massaging the line of your jaw ever so lightly, trying to hold your skittish gaze. “More than I even have words for.”

First, you avoid looking at him a bit bashfully, but then you stare up cautiously into those big brown eyes that feel like a familiar kind of home and you’re such a goner. You lean into his warmth, the warmth of his hand.

“Missed you too, Joel. So much,” you admit, never wanting this moment to end or him to let go of you. “More than anything.”

He leans forward a little and for a second you think…but then he’s leaning in and planting a heavy kiss on your forehead. A kiss that has weight to it – not those soft, weak ones that Max gives you haphazardly when he’s drunk or high – the only time he’s brave enough to be vulnerable with you. This kiss says something, means it so sincerely too. 

“Love you, honey,” he tells you. Then his face falls. “Sorry I…wasn’t quite there to say that to you enough in person.”

“It’s okay, Joel. I forgive you,” you insist. “I love you so much, dummy. More than you even know!”

But you truly do appreciate the sentiment. 

***

You settle on an old, black and white classic, Paper Moon, that’s playing on the TV Land channel.

Joel wraps a big arm around you and you snuggle close. You’re pretty sure there isn’t a better feeling in the world than being this close to him. Even after all these years he still smells like Joel; like home (and, if you’re being honest, a bit like your vanilla shampoo) .

You lean against him, your cheek pressing into one of his firm pecs. You begin to feel sleepy, drunk on the steady sound of his heartbeat, alive and beating against you and really here . 

You nod off.

***

At first, you don’t believe it, but you feel someone with strong, firm arms lifting you into the air, cradling your back and the insides of your knees in a bridal-style carry. The movement wakes you, but you don’t open your eyes because the safety and security you feel is too good to give up. Joel carries you to your bedroom and lays you down gently in your bed. You’re still in day clothes and shoes so Joel takes off your worn sneakers with a feather-light touch and places them at the foot of the bed – you can tell from the soft thumps it makes. He maneuvers you so tenderly under the covers and tucks you in with love and care. You wonder the last time someone did that for you and pull up a blank. If anyone ever did that for you it was probably Joel. Maybe your mom did when you were really young. Certainly your father nor Aiden ever did – your father hadn’t liked to touch you except out of anger – kind of like you had some kind of weird, contagious disease. Aiden’s hands had almost always hurt too, but not Joel’s – never his. 

He breaks you from your thoughts by pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are still closed so you aren’t sure, but you think he watches you for a second and lets out a long sigh. 

Then you hear your bedroom door close softly so as not to disturb you. You smile, you can’t help it, and drift back off into a peaceful sleep.

***

You wake up to a mumbling, grunting sort of sound. You look over at your clock and read 3:42 a.m. You sit up. You can kind of hear some muffled noises coming from outside your room. At first, you feel a little concerned – like maybe Joel is in pain or something as he is the only one who could be making the noises. The walls in your apartment are paper-thin. Like you could hear him sneeze clear as day if he were to because sound travels through the shitty walls so easily. You should have told him that. But what the fuck is he doing up at 3 a.m.? 

You creep (and you mean creep) silently to the door of your bedroom and open it the tiniest crack. The way your apartment is laid out, the back of the sofa is the first thing you see and the back of Joel’s head about six feet away. He doesn’t sound in pain the way he’s groaning and then you understand exactly what he’s doing. Of course the man is jerking off! After being in prison, stuck around people for so long of course he wanted a good, private wank. He isn’t looking at anything from what you can tell, no magazines or anything. Must be using his imagination. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he’s gotten good at that over the years.

You should turn around, slink back into bed, and cover your ears with a pillow so the man can have some privacy. But, fuck, the way he’s grunting. His voice is so fucking deep and sexy and then he lets out a soft, vulnerable moan and you feel heat envelope your whole body. You think you hear a soft fuck roll off his tongue and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. You can hear the lewd slapping of his fist on skin getting louder and more intense. Then you hear a soft take it, fuck. And Jesus, you are so fucking wet between your thighs. You ought to be ashamed. Instead, you reach down your hand feverishly beneath the band of your jeans and soaking underwear instinctively to stroke yourself ever so slightly. You sigh in relief, but you are fucking gushing, your fingers covered in your slick. You can’t see anything besides the back of Joel’s head, technically, so this couldn’t be that wrong, could it? He lets out a soft groan, you can tell he’s holding back so as not to be heard, but the desperation in the pathetic little noises this hulking man is making is turning on every switch inside you. Oh how you want to go over there and take him in your mouth, to taste him. God you are so fucked up! You’re still touching yourself gently, not really fully going at it yet, considering the possibilities that could follow if you went over there. But before you can decide to do anything, Joel positively whines, moans, and grunts fuck, unh, and you think but aren’t sure, babygirl, and finishes.

You stop dead still in what you’re doing. Did he really say “babygirl” or was that just your horny-ass imagination playing tricks on you? You’ve never heard Joel call anyone babygirl except you. Was he really thinking of you? On the one hand, if true, mega fucked up. On the other, wow, incredibly hot. You think about going over there and asking him to finish you off or something as crazy as in all those dumb romance novels you used to read in middle school, but just as quickly as the idea comes to you, you hear another noise: loud snoring. Joel is asleep.

Typical.

You snort to yourself. That was so quintessentially Joel. You don’t want to disturb him now. The moment has passed. And only then is when you remember you have a fucking boyfriend. 

That doesn’t stop you from closing your door softly, crawling back into bed, and reaching your hand down beneath your panties to touch yourself. You stroke your clit, imagining it is Joel’s rough hand rubbing against you. Holy fuck. You haven’t been this wet since you used to touch yourself thinking about him in the past. It’s like he can reach every part of you, every layer in a way that no one else can. You know the whole thing is so fundamentally fucked up, but you can resist sinking into your favorite fantasy. The smell, the touch, the feel of him. You imagine the noises he was making so beautifully on the couch, feel heat coil through your entire body, and immediately cum hard without even sticking a finger inside yourself. 

The pleasure you feel is so unparalleled and real you have to cover your hand with your mouth not to scream out your powerful orgasm. 

Sweat drenches your whole body as you come down. 

God, you are so fucked.

***

The next morning you wake up to the wafting smell of someone cooking eggs. You emerge from your room a little sheepishly from last night’s events to find Joel behind the kitchen counter making eggs and toast. 

“Mornin’, babygirl,” he grins, his eyes shining like he’s excited about something.

And then you realize: that something is you.

You grin back.

“Good morning, Joel,” you beam at him.

You were so afraid things would feel awkward after what you heard last night, but nothing ever feels awkward with Joel. In some ways, he’s still just your average dorky, friendly old ex-stepdad, convicted felon. In other ways, everything about him sets your heart on fire, but it would be stupid to ruin what you have with him because you think it’s remotely possible he might be interested back. You know this is dramatic, but if he flat-out rejected you, you think you might die. Truly. Like those butterflies inside you would beat their wings so hard they’d burst your heart.

“‘Membered you liked ‘em poached,” he nods, breaking you from your thoughts. 

He scoops two poached eggs onto one of your plates and grabs a piece of toast from the toaster which he smears with butter like how you used to eat toast as a kid. You can’t believe he remembered.

“Thanks so much,” you tell him.

He grabs a few eggs and toast for himself and sits beside you at the counter. 

“Nice to be able to cook me ‘n you some real food,” he remarks. “If I eat one more cup o’ noodles in my lifetime I swear to God Almighty…” he trais off.

He’s looking at you like you put the goddamned sun in the sky. Your heart melts as you stare at his features, the faint curls in his hair. Oh, how you want to reach out and touch him. But that just isn’t how you operate. You won’t ruin what you already have.

The butterflies in your chest howl. 

***

` You lay out the day’s schedule to Joel. You have plenty of time to hang about (you see him eyeing the guitars), and then you need to go shopping for some actual clothes for Joel since the things you brought for him don’t constitute a proper wardrobe. Then you will go out to dinner and meet Max. 

Joel grunts a nod at that last part. He doesn’t seem too thrilled.

“Wanna show me what you’ve been playing?” he asks hopefully as he gets up to put both of your plates in the sink,

“‘Course!” you nod enthusiastically. “Max says I need to work on my fingerpicking so I can’t promise it’ll be all that good.”

Joel rolls his eyes.

“Show me what you’ve got.”

***

You sit down on the couch right next to Joel, each of you holding your respective guitars in hand, across your laps. 

Joel looks ecstatic to have his guitar back in his hands. He fiddles with the tuning and finger-picks a faint melody.

“Haven’t played one since the prison band. But then some dumb motherfucker clobbered another sorry son of a bitch to death with a saxophone so that ended our music privileges,” Joel explains. 

“Jeez,” you reply.

Joel is sitting so close you can feel his body heat. You just want to hear him sing, but he insists on hearing you.

“Joel,” you try as innocently as possible. “D’you remember how to do an A-flat? I forget and I need it for my song.”

“Sure, baby. Lemme help ya. Now put one finger on this bit of the 4th fret here,” he begins, snaking a big arm around your shoulders so he can maneuver your fingers to the correct position. 

His touch is electric. He feels so good and warm. You feel the intense urge to climb into his lap and embrace and stay there forever. His big caloused hand full of scars places your fingers correctly for the chord. The same hand that must have jerked himself to completion last night…You can’t help but wonder how much cum there was…The truth is, you know how to make an A-flat. You just wanted to feel him.

He backs away and you whine internally at the loss.

“There we go,” he says soothingly, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “That one can be tricky. Now where is my performance?”

Your nerves are squirming around inside you but you begin to play and sing to the best of your ability. 

You look into Joel’s eyes.

♪“ You've got a heart on fire / It's bursting with desire / You've got a heart filled with passion /  Will you let it burn for hate or compassion?” ♫ you sing. 

Joel watches you intently, sitting up straighter. 

♪ “What's the point with a love / That makes you hate and kill for? ♪

You sing as best and as seriously as you can. You look up and think you maybe see a tear in Joel’s eye.

When you finish, it’s clear Joel is finding it hard to select the right words to convey what he’s feeling. 

“I–” he tries. “That was…well, let me just show you how I can answer that if anyone ever could to a performance as beautiful as that.”

You blush. 

He begins to finger-pick a familiar tune, Instantly, you are transported back to eight years old in the back of Joel’s old pickup truck, listening to one of his many cassette tapes. It’s “I’ll Never Find Another You” by The Seekers. The original version of the song is pretty happy and upbeat, but the way Joel sings it slowly in his deep and weathered voice makes you feel sad and achy inside. The emotion behind his voice is palpable.

♪ “But if I should lose your love, dear / I don't know what I'd do / For I know I'll never find another you / Another you / Another you…” ♫ he trails off.

It’s your turn to tear up a little. It’s crazy to know he means every word he’s singing too. He sings like every word is his last breath. When he finishes you are crying a little.

“You oughta record an album,” you sniffle, leaning into his shoulder, throwing him a side hug.

“Wanted to be a singer,” he replies with a small grin, leaning his head against yours. “Back when I was young.” 

You sit back up straight.

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Don’t tell nobody really,” Joel replies, looking a bit sad you left his immediate proximity. “Just a stupid dream ‘n all that crap.”

“‘S not stupid,” you tell him. “You really have a beautiful voice, Joel. It’s like if I could take it, hold on to it, and keep it forever in my chest pocket next to my heart, I would.”

“That’s where I keep you, baby,” he tells you honestly.

He reaches up a big hand to yours and guides your own to place it right on his heart over his plaid shirt. You can feel it beating steadily below your palm to the rhythm of something as delicate and ferocious as the beating of butterfly wings.

“Right here.”

***

You take Joel shopping. At his insistence it is nothing fancy, just the local department store. That doesn’t stop you from dressing Joel up in ridiculous outfits of your choosing. You make him try on a Hawaiian shirt, some golf polos like your dad liked to wear, a pinstripe suit and he lets you because saying no to you has never been in his vocabulary. He acts grumpy on the outside, but you can tell he is amused. You know in the end, you’ll just end up buying every flannel shirt and jeans combo they have in the store, but it’s just fun anyway. You watch the fabric hug his torso, his tummy, the slight bulge at his waist. At one point he comes out shirtless and you try very hard not to swoon as you stare at the hair lining his chest and his adorable little tummy that you for some reason have the urge to bite. The band of his Hanes boxers sticks up past his jeans and he looks so good. He even lets out a genuine smile. The middle-aged sales attendant who is helping you even takes a good look at him which makes the butterflies inside you swarm possessively. 

Finally, you make him try on a proper white-collared button-down shirt and black dress pants with matching black shoes and he looks so good you’re actually at a loss for words when he asks you what you think. They hug the curves and lines and planes of his body so nicely. All you can do is ask him to put on a black tie to match and he does at your behest following some customary griping that he would never wear such a monkey suit in the first place. The effect that a fully dressed-up Joel has on you is not one to be reckoned with. He might as well be wearing the men’s version of lingerie for how it makes you throb and ache between your legs. He looks like a force of nature, commanding and tall. It makes you weak. All you say is,

“Looking good, old-timer.”

He snorts.

When you finally ditch all the fun clothes and grab the essentials, Joel offers to go pick up the car while you pay. He tries to give you his eight-year-old credit card, but you insist on treating him on the condition he buys the “monkey suit.” After a bit of prodding, he gives in and you go to the sales attendant to pay at the counter. 

“Your dad is really cute,” the sales attendant giggles to you as she rings up the pile of clothes. 

Your cheeks go a bit red. You don’t really care enough to correct her.

“He’s my guy,” is all you say absentmindedly as you fish out your wallet from your purse.

The sales attendant hands you the receipt and on it, you see a scrawled phone number.

“For If he’s single,” she explains. “I’m Barb from sales.”

You look her over. She’s close to Joel’s age and conventionally pretty with long brown hair. The exact kind of woman Joel should be dating should he choose to get back in the game. Your stomach twists and the butterflies howl inside you.

You take the receipt, thank her, and join Joel back in the car (who is more than happy to be driving this time). 

“What took so long?” he asks casually. “You two writing a novel in there?”

You think seriously about what you should do. You consider letting the bugs have their way and tearing the receipt with Barb’s number on it to shreds. But you want good things for Joel. The chance of you two ever being together the way you wish is so far-fetched that you know you shouldn’t even be thinking it. A literal pipe dream. He was your stepdad for christsakes. He literally fucked your mother! (Gross!). Barb is exactly the kind of woman Joel should be going after if he’s up to dating right now. You hand him the receipt begrudgingly. 

“Sales Lady likes you,” you sat flatly. “Name is Barb.”

“Oh,” he says softly like he’s a bit flattered. 

He looks back at her through the glass door of the store and she waves at him. He waves back politely. You feel your stomach twisting into knots. 

“You think…you think you’re gonna call her?” you finally ask as casually as humanly possible, dreading the answer. 

Joel looks over at you, his gaze sweeping over you. Then looks back at Barb through the window. He looks her up and down.

“Nah,” he says with a smirk, looking back at you. “She ain’t my type. Only need one girl in my life right now anyways,” he winks.

Was that Joel flirting? With you?

Regardless, you smile back and then sigh in relief and grin to yourself as you two drive away. 

Much to your satisfaction, Joel crumples up the receipt and throws it out the window for good measure. 

***

You get ready for dinner, to go to a nice Mexican-Japanese fusion restaurant that Max picked out. You wear a red dress that accentuates your figure and matching heels and to your shock, Joel reemerges from the bathroom in the white button-down shirt and black dress pants you picked out for him (you had been sure flannel would be part of his ensemble). God, he looks good. A part of you wants to ditch Max and just stay here with Joel forever. He looks you over, his dark eyes sweeping over your frame. You think there is a tinge of possessiveness in his voice when he says,

“ Christ, you look beautiful, babygirl.”

***

You arrive before Max and sit down at the fancy white table-cloth-covered table next to Joel, a booth facing you. Max finally makes an appearance a half hour late and sits down across from you, sweeping his hair out of his face, sliding into the booth. Joel is frowning and the butterflies beat their wings inside you nervously.

“Sorry I’m late,” Max announces, puffing out his chest a little and smoothing out his collared shirt as he looks down at his watch and then over at Joel. “Hey, baby,” he says to you. Then, “And, uh, nice to meet you. Joe, was it? Heard a lot about you.”

“Joel,” Joel replies flatly, eyeing Max.

Max is a good-looking guy, everyone says so, but he looks more like a little boy than you’ve ever thought as he squirms uneasily in his seat under Joel’s unrelenting gaze and launches into a tirade about his frat’s inter-mural lacrosse team practice and how his team should have totally won the scrimmage and that’s why he’s late. And of course, he was the one to score the most goals.

“And the taxi cab driver was a nightmare. Only spoke Spanish. It’s like, if you come to this country speak fucking English, am I right?”

You notice Joel’s jaw tighten and his fingers clench. 

“Max, that’s so rude!” you tell him, frowning. “We’re at a fucking Mexican restaurant!”

“Anyway,” Max continues, rolling his eyes at the interruption like he barely even heard you, smirking. “Where’d you go to school? What do you do for work, Joel?  Besides making license plates, I mean. Kidding!” he insists as you stare daggers at him. 

Joel leans forward ever so slightly but you slip your leg over his to hold him back and he calms down a fraction. It’s like when you touch him, everything tense in him melts away. 

Joel sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you, stretching his arm across the back of your seat protectively like it’s a casual thing and not an unconscious sign of possessiveness.

“I’m a mechanic,” he grunts unceremoniously to Max. “I mean, I was anyways…Didn’t go to school.”

Max frowns ever so slightly. 

“You didn’t go to college? You must’ve gone to trade school at least?”

“Nope. Picked up what I know over the years. Not everyone gets a free ride from their parents,” Joel smirks.

“Free ride?” Max snaps. “I’ll have you know I spend every summer interning at a law firm!”

“Yeah, your dad’s,” you can’t help but snicker.

Max’s cheeks turn a bit pink.

“At least I’m not a psych major,” he shoots back. “I mean, no offense, babe!”

“What’s wrong with psychology?” Joel snarls, his eyes darkening. “You ought to be proud to have such a thoughtful and intelligent girl like Y/N studying such a topic.”

It’s your turn for your cheeks to go pink. 

“Joel–”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Max sneers. 

That makes you feel a bit better. 

“I’m just saying, she could have inherited the second-best law firm in the tri-state area from her pops if she was pre-law like me,” he smirks.

Your smile fades, used to hearing this kind of shit from him. He knows you and your father don’t get along at all, but not the full extent of it. He also knows you don’t have an interest in pre-law. But you swallow down how you really feel.

“It’s fine, Joel,” you tell him, placing a hand down on his thigh.

It’s not that you enjoy the way Max has been talking to you, but you are so used to it from the men in your life that it feels like the common denominator must be you. And sometimes it feels like maybe they have some kind of point. And fighting back only makes things worse. You’ve learned that over the years the hard way.

“It’s not fine!” he snaps like he’s trying to get you to see sense, looking deeply insulted on your behalf. Your heart thunders in your chest. “This boy has never worked an honest day in his life and he’s telling you what you ought to be doing? Bet his hands are soft as a baby’s ass. He doesn’t know shit about you, babygirl.”

You may not know the hardship of labor that Joel has taken on in his life, but your hands are not smooth. They are full of scars. And Joel is right. Max’s are soft like silk. You look down at the most prominent, ugly scar on your middle finger. You don’t even know which man in your life gave it to you. But you do know it means something. Shows you survived something. Survived your stupid father too, not that Max seems to care.

But Max never loses. 

“Whatever,” he smirks dismissively. “Sorry I’m not some, like, common blue-collar worker. But I guess I should be taking advice from someone who became a fucking convicted felon ‘cause they drank too much one night,” he shrugs with a terrible sneer.  

You know it’s over then.

But Joel surprises you. Doesn’t immediately strangle Max like you thought he might. Simply stands up tall and silent over Max’s frame which has suddenly begun to shake ever so slightly in obvious fear, his blue eyes widening. Joel’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides. 

“Wouldn’t mind them sendin’ me right back in, ” Joel growls low. “Drunk or not.”

You shiver and Max positively cowers. 

“Got something to say? Don’t wanna take it outside?” Joel leers, smirking ever so slightly at the trembling boy before him. “I’d even let a little boy like you take the first swing.”

“Your stepdad’s a freak, Y/N,” Max stammers, not taking his eyes off of Joel. 

“Joel, it’s fine, okay?” you growl, not wanting him to actually hurt your boyfriend. Let alone in public! “Shouldn’t talk about Joel like that though, Max! Jesus!”

“Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” Max tries, eyeing back and forth between you and Joel. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t get what you see in him with a real Dad like yours! Your dad has so much to give you!”

Look out for you? So much to give you? What could he possibly give besides a stupid law firm and two black eyes? 

Max looks a bit desperate. Him apologizing for anything is actually a new concept for you. Your heart twitches ever so slightly. He must actually like you a lot. But Joel would never do anything to hurt you if it was in his power. At least not intentionally, unlike your real father. 

“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Joel snarls moodily, turning around. “Don’t want to do things I might regret to Mr.Future-Corporate-Lawyer over here. Have fun with him .”

Joel looks deeply hurt. Like you are choosing Max over him or something. That’s never what this has been about, has it? Doesn’t Joel know you’d do anything for him? That the hurt on his face hurts you more than anything you’ve ever felt. Ever.

“Joel, wait!” you decide and disappear after him, leaving Max behind at the table.

“Babe, what the fuck!?” Max yells, but you don’t care. “Come back here!”

***

You ride back in silence, Joel’s hands turning white against his grip on the steering wheel. 

When you break through to the front door of your apartment, Joel finally snaps, the anger on his face directed at something that feels like you for the first time in your life.

“You really love that little son of a bitch, don’t you?” he sneers, uncharacteristically harshly towards you. 

“So what if I did?” you shoot back, a little shocked. “It’s none of your business, Joel. What the fuck?”

“It is so my business,” he snaps back. “That kid is no good for you, Y/N. He doesn’t understand you. You deserve someone much better than that who will actually go to the ends of the earth for you. He wouldn’t do anything for you.”

There is a desperation and vulnerability in Joel’s words and tone that you’re not sure you’ve heard before. He sounds like he had been waiting the whole car ride to say this, maybe even his whole life. You aren’t sure.

“Max does give a shit about me,” you try to convince yourself, getting angrier. “I mean at least he was there for me while you were gone.”

Joel flinches.

“How do you know what’s so good for me and what’s not when you dipped out of my life for eight years?” you continue harshly. “Because why? It wasn’t because you were drunk, was it? It was because you couldn’t control your anger. You never could.”

He stares at you.

“I controlled it for you,” Joel says so quietly you almost miss it. “ You are the only reason I did any of it.”

“What?” you stammer, not sure you want to hear more. “W-what do you mean, Joel? Any of what?”

A million thoughts begin to run through your mind, but you push them aside. Theories about the case and your ideas of Joel’s true nature all threaten to drown you but you push them away.

“Do you want to know why I really killed that sick son of a bitch?” Joel asks dangerously after a long moment of silence. You stare at him, your body frozen. He looks down at his hands, flexing them like he can still feel them punching or around that disgusting man’s throat. “Why I killed him all those years ago? It was no accident, I’ll give you that. Manslaughter, my ass. I killed that scum of the Earth because he threatened you . To do terrible things to you with those disgusting hands of his. So I broke each one, but it wasn’t enough. I killed him because I didn’t want you to get hurt and because I didn’t want you to live in fear of him. I was tired, Y/N. Tired of being afraid for you in a world that doesn’t let you do shit except fight back. I loved you so much, Y/N, it hurt me. It scared me, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you again, not him, not your father, not Max, not anyone. You have to understand. I love –” 

And then it’s all over. You’re not sure who moves first, but you think it might be you. The butterflies are rustling and thundering and screeching inside you and you kiss him. And Joel kisses back, devouring your mouth in his. You grab the back of his graying brown hair and pull him as close to you as you think is humanly possible. He cradles the back of your head so gently you almost lose your breath. And you are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. There is nothing else in the universe except this kiss. You have never felt anything like this in your life. It is like every butterfly inside you has gone silent. It is like the world has stopped just for you and something new is forming inside you.

Joel killed that vile man for you. To keep you safe. Like he always said or showed that he would. He gave his life away for you. He did the unspeakable for you.

He bites down on your bottom lip and all your brain can manage to coherently think is: more, harder .

But then Joel is breaking away from you slowly.

NO! your heart cries out, the delicious pleasure and pain draining away from you. The butterflies swarm dangerously inside your chest, worse with every inch he travels from your lips.

“Joel,” you whine. “What? You…you don’t want–”

“Don’t even say that, Y/N,” he growls dangerously. “Of course I want you. How could I not? I have spent my entire life wanting you in some capacity, baby, but I ain’t no good for you either, alright? I…” he says slowly like it takes every inch of his body to agree to say this. “I am not a good man, Y/N. I never have been. I’ve done wrong in every chapter of my life. You deserve someone much better. I don’t want to hurt you. Physically or mentally. Our history… The damage I’ve done…” he trails off.

“You don’t understand,” you swallow, tears forming in your eyes. “You have already loved and hurt me more than any human being on planet Earth. And yet somehow there is nothing you could do that would keep me away from you, don’t you get that? The Joel Miller I love is not a good man and I don’t care. I want all of you. All of the pretty and crooked pieces you try to hide away from me. You killed a man with your bare hands, arguably one of the worst things a human can do, and I don’t care. I still want you, Joel. Maybe even more because of it. No one has ever loved me the way you do and that is the love I want and it terrifies me.”

A single tear falls down Joel’s right cheek. You reach up to wipe it away, but Joel grabs your hand on the way reflexively, so you help him wipe his own tears away. 

“I love you,” you whisper.

“I would move the Earth for you,” Joel whispers back.

“I know,” you nod. “I’ve always known. I–”

But he is kissing you again before you can say another word, like a man starved. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingers caressing his stubbly beard. 

“ Joel,” you whine when you break for air.

“I wanted this so badly,” he says softly, grinning a lopsided grin. “Can’t believe this is real.”

“Me too,” you giggle.

You have to lean up a bit, but you press your forehead to his gently.

“Oh, baby,” Joel smirks. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive, ya know that? You like

it when I go a little rough, honey?” he smirks down at you in satisfaction, reading your mind.

You have to stop yourself from getting lost in the warm pools of his brown eyes, your panties soaked.

He reaches an affectionate hand down to rub your side softly.

“This okay, babygirl?” he coos, massaging his hand down your torso.

“I’d let you do anything to me, don’t you know?” you snicker. “Pain or pleasure, it’s all the same to me. I like all of that. I just want you so bad.”

“Think a safe word is in order,” Joel grins, leaning down to kiss your neck. “How about ‘butterflies?’” you suggest. 

“Sounds good to me, baby,” he grins, looking genuinely happy for the first time in hours. 

He leans down and places a calloused hand around your throat, not squeezing (yet – you hope) and plants soft kisses and bites down your expanse of skin. 

“All mine,” he mutters into your skin. “My beautiful babygirl.”

You feel his erection pressing against you through his black dress pants which makes you moan softly.

His hand trails over your crotch and he starts rubbing over the tight fabric of your red dress.

“That okay?”

“Yes,” you whine. “Want more, Daddy.”

Oh shit. You don’t mean to say it like that! You know it is about ten levels of fucked up to call Joel that, but how is it your fault that in every fantasy that’s how you think of him? You figure you’re probably past the point of weird and every other standard of decency, but you’re still afraid.

“Sorry…” you mumble. “I–”

“No, no, baby,” Joel says quickly. “It’s alright, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

“You think it’s weird,” you mumble again, further stupid tears forming in your eyes.

He snickers. 

“Baby, I think we’re beyond weird at this point. Let me show you how turned on it makes me.”

Joel takes your hand and places it on his crotch. He takes your left hand, the one with the scar and you cringe a little, but he is rock-hard.

That’s good because you’re positively drenched.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Daddy likes that more than you know, alright?”

You take your hand back, smiling, but you cover your scarred finger, shocked he will allow this fantasy for you.

“Whatcha hidin’ from me, baby?” he asks, noticing the positioning of your hands.

“I hate that scar on my finger. ‘S so ugly,” you admit.

Joel looks flabbergasted. 

“That’s the last damn thing I think of when I look at you. Ugly? Who in the fuck told you that?”

“How it got there is ugly. It’s marred skin, looks gross,” you mumble.

Joel moves to take out his cock, and when you nod he unzips and unbuttons his dress pants, pulling out his length. You have fantasized about his cock for god knows how long so you are more than excited to see it. He reaches to place your left hand with the scarred fingers around the length of his dick, which is thick, but longer than you expected. The leaking head is almost purple and your mouth begins to water as you stroke him gently.

“It’s part of you,” Joel tells you, his eyes connecting with yours. “I love it. It shows you survived. Gonna jerk off to it, Daddy loves it so much. And when I’m done you’re gonna love it too. Swear I’ve got so many over the years I can barely even count ‘em. Even got a few on my middle finger. Maybe even one from a certain guitar pick you made me. Nothing like that could ever make me stop wanting you, ya know that, right?”

You smile and take your time stroking him, wanting to show him how much you love and care for him, scars and all.

He grunts softly, closing his eyes, but then shoos your hand away with a feverish kind of want. 

“Yeah, touch yourself now, baby. Daddy wants to see how wet you are for him. With that scarred finger. C’mon, now. ‘S gonna make you feel so good.”

You do as you’re told and reach down underneath your dress and begin to touch yourself, especially with your middle finger. You stroke your clit and then your dripping wet slit. You moan softly as Joel’s eyes rake over you, taking in every sigh and groan you emit. The butterflies are forming something big inside you, which presses against the inside of your tummy and ribcage.

“Daddy,” you whine.

“Enough, little one,” Joel whispers. 

He takes out your hand and begins to suck the slick off of each of your fingers, groaning deeply, making intense eye contact the whole time.

“Fuck, angel,” he moans, having a tough time keeping himself together, you can tell. “Taste and smell better than like how I pictured. Like you were fuckin’ made for me, I swear.”

He reaches a hand of his own down to stroke himself and his moans become more desperate. Finally, he sucks on your middle finger covered in your slick and groans so deeply you feel like you might cum untouched. He stares into your eyes. 

“ Mine, ” he growls possessively. “Oh, shit! Gonna–”

Then he takes your left hand and leads it to meet his throbbing cock. You stroke him, harder this time, fisting his thick length, moaning softly and that does it for him.

Joel cums all over your hand, oozing white globs of cum over your fingers, once, twice, three times. 

“Fuuuuuck, babygirl,” he groans. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Couldn’t help it. Yeah, suck it off, baby. That’s it,” he commands, and you do, licking up all of his cum, even the part that got on your middle finger. 

When Joel comes down he still looks half-crazed with desire.

“Sorry about the, uh, early release. It’s been a while since anyone touched me,” he babbles in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed pink. “But I don’t wanna hear shit about your gorgeous hands ever again, you hear me, babygirl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you nod, snickering. 

He looks like that one word has set his entire universe back in order again. You honestly don’t care at how fast Joel came. You love how much it shows he wants you. And his heady taste is making you weak. You could taste him for days and days and never get tired, you’re sure.

“Can still get you off though, don’t worry. Shoulda let you cum first, but I couldn’t help it with the things you do to me. Goddamn. Can Daddy eat your pussy, baby?”

You grin, but then your face falls. 

“Didn’t shave,” you admit, feeling dirty. 

Max hates your hair down there.

Joel looks at you in confusion.

He laughs, his face scrunching up.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I care about that? Only little boys give a shit about things like that. Not men.”

You shiver.

“Really?”

“Of course I don’t care. Didn’t ya hear what I just said? C’mon now. You can lie down on the couch.”

You follow instructions, pulling your dress over your head to reveal white lace panties and no bra. 

You move to take the panties off, but Joel stops you, staring at the lines and curves of your body. 

“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, taking you in.

You think you see his cock twitch ever so slightly. He palms his softening length instinctively.

“Beautiful,” he snarls, pushing you back on the sofa. 

You happily fall backward. 

He lies on top of you, his white button-down shirt pressing against your naked body tantalizingly. 

He bites your lips roughly and you groan against him.

“Daddy’s mouth,” he commands against you.

“Yeah, duh, Daddy,” you snicker.

As if he even needs to say it! 

He kisses down your neck expertly and you begin to shiver and whine, your pussy aching with need and neglect.

He stops at your breasts, sucking and biting each one.

“Daddy’s tits,” he declares, snaking a finger over the lace panties that protect your clit. “Of course,” you respond, moaning softly, grinding needily against him.

He continues lower, licking down your breasts and over your tummy which he plants with kisses that tickle and then one hard bite on your hip that leaves behind teeth marks.

“Daddy’s body,” he impresses upon you.

“Yes, Daddy. Only yours.”

“No more of that little shithead, Max,” he snarls, an inch above your clit.

“No more Max,” you repeat as he presses kisses down your pussy, still covered by soaked white lace panties. 

“Only Daddy.”

“Only you.”

“Good girl,” he growls.

He finally removes your panties and begins to eat and suck your clit and pussy so hard and enthusiastically, swirling his tongue around your bundles of nerves that you grow exponentially closer by the second.

“Joel,” you whine. “Oh my God.”

It doesn’t take long. The second his calloused hand is pressing a finger and then two inside of you it’s over. You were so needy for him that you could have even cum from just his mouth alone, but his hands are what send you over the edge. And something different happens as orgasm crashes down upon you. The butterflies all join together and transform into something bigger and softer, caressing your insides, cooing. It feels like a breathing white dove is spreading its wings inside you, the tips of its feathers brushing against your rib cage. And you cum harder than you ever have in your life. 

Pleasure engulfs you in currents, facilitated by the gentle flapping from deep

inside your body.

“ Joel,” you moan. “Oh my God. Daddy, pleaseee–”

“Please what, baby? Make my princess cum again? I would eat that pretty little clit and

pussy every day for the rest of my life if I could, fuck. God, so perfect and you’re so fuckin’ tight. Look how fucking hard you make me, angel.”

He takes one of your hands and places it on his half-hardening cock. Not going to lie, you are partially shocked at his recovery, but another part of you seems to know that if there was anyone in the universe that could do that to him it had to be you. 

“Never got hard again from anyone I’ve ever fucked before…” he trails off dreamily like he can read your thoughts. “You’re so gorgeous, babygirl.”

“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” you tell him lazily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth as you pull him closer to you. 

The heat from his body keeps you so warm and tender and for a moment you lie on the couch, Joel’s still-clothed body pressed to yours.

“Can you fuck me, Joel?” you ask, squirming against him needily.

“You can’t say that shit to me, baby,” Joel groans, his cock getting harder. “Not quite ready yet.”

“Lemme help you out,” you offer, pouting. 

You reach down and stroke his half-hard length and then bend over and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock.

Joel swears, staring down at you with so much adoration it pours off his face. No man has ever looked at you like that before. You’re certain. Perhaps no man ever will again? Not like that.

“Shit, baby,” Joel babbles stupidly, his eyes threatening to swallow you up in that beautiful shade of umber. “Never gonna forget this moment,” he grunts as you begin to suck his cock properly, feeling it slowly get hard enough to throb between your lips with each thrust of your head and gluck of your throat. 

You stare up at him, your eyes wide and wanting and Joel lets out a soft, vulnerable moan as you begin to really suck him and take him down the walls of your throat.

“ Unh , babygirl, fuck,” he whines and you have never quite heard Joel so desperate before. “Gotta pull out or I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck.” 

It sounds just like it did the night you accidentally spied on him jerking off. 

“You’ve been thinking about me a lot, huh, Daddy?” you ask, releasing Joel from your mouth like he wanted, though his hips buck forward ever so slightly with desire, the tip of his cock just barely scraping against your mouth. He grunts.

“Maybe so,” he replies, looking a little guilty. “Don’t know how not to these days.”

“Heard you on the couch last night,” you whine yourself. “Had to touch myself ‘cuz of it, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Joel reaches out a hand to cup your crotch and rub against your slick pussy.

“That’s so fuckin’ naughty, baby,” he groans. “Look how wet that made you. All for me.”

You steal a glance at his cock and find that the tip is weeping too. And he is so fucking big compared to the size of your hand. Fuck!

“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?” you whisper.

“All about you, baby,” Joel nods in agreement, his hips twitching ever so slightly. “‘Bout touching you just like this.”

He slinks two big fingers inside you and you moan deliciously, the feathery wings of the newly-formed dove fluttering against your insides. 

“Gotta stretch you a bit more,” he grunts into your throat, pushing in a third finger. “Daddy’s so big and you’re so tight, angel. Don’t wanna hurt ya. Not too bad at least. Not yet…That’s it, pretty girl, fuck,” he grins when you slide back on his thumb in pleasure which had traveled to the rim of your asshole “Good girl, so good for Daddy. So naughty too. Don’t think Daddy won’t punish you.”

“Want you to hurt me, Daddy,” you moan. “When you fuck me. Please fuck me hard. I want all of you – pain and pleasure. One hundred percent Joel. Joel, please, I need–” 

And Joel does stop for a moment.

“Never hurt you in a way you didn’t beg for,” he tells you seriously. “You know that right, baby?”

You stop your rutting against him and look into his eyes.

“Are you kidding? You would protect me with your dying breath. I know that, Joel. Never been afraid of you since I’ve really known you. Not once. I mean: fuck; you gave up your whole life for me. To keep me safe, for fuckssake. In every word you say and don’t say to me I can feel how much you love me.”

 “I do love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, nuzzling your forehead. “If I had to, I’d do all of it all over again if it meant I’d get you. I’ve made mistakes, big ones, but protecting you, loving you was never one of them.” 

Warm tears trail down your cheeks, but Joel licks and kisses them away. 

“Wanna feel me inside you?” he asks. “Don’t wanna go too fast, but I need you, baby. Needed you for so long…Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for Daddy, huh? Gonna fit me just like a glove, I just know it — if you wanna…”

“Yes, please, fuck me, Daddy! Please, Joel Wanna feel you—ah!” you moan as Joel shoves his entire length into your pussy in one hard thrust eagerly. “Oh my God, please fuck me harder!” you moan, reeling from the deep blend of pain and pleasure of him sinking inside you, clenching down around the thickness of him. “Joel, please!”

He pauses, sweat glistening on his brow, sneering.

“You really want harder?”

You shiver. The way he says that makes your heart beat wildly in your ears.

“Because babygirl, I would treat you like porcelain if you want it so. I will never hurt you, my angel, my gift from god, my goddamn sweetest heart please know I will break my fucking hands before they would hurt you, before I would ever hurt you in a way that you didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt me. Do you understand me?”

“Of course, Joel. But you want it too,” you smirk. “You aren’t innocent in this, are you?”

“Fuck, of course i’m not innocent. I want you, babygirl. In every way there is to want another. Want every inch of you, inside and out. Wanna mark you up so the world knows you’re mine, honey. Want everyone to smell me on you and know I marked you, moved in you, darlin’, please, see, I’m no fucking Hemingway, I didn’t go to college, I’m not like you with words, but I need you to understand that I mean this with my whole chest and heart. Really, I’m not a big talker, never was, babygirl, but I need you to understand I—”

  “I do, you dumbass fucking fool!” you shout, giggling at his desperation. “I’d understand you even if you were speaking another language. You’ve made your intentions loud and clear. I don’t want a Hemingway, I want Joel Miller!”

You pull him in for a kiss and he thrusts in you again a second time and you end up moaning clumsily in his mouth, but you can feel him smiling , smiling like some dumb idiot against you and maybe you called him the correct insult because he is a dumbass fucking fool for you. And it turns out you must be one as well because you are smiling like an idiot for him too.

“ Joel,” you moan as he begins to move inside you, hitting deep places that Max or any of your previous exes never went. Pleasure is tracing itself along the line of your stomach. “Oh my god, I love you so much,” you babble and you’ve never meant that more than you do now.

You can feel Joel coming apart above you, plowing into you, sighing deeply. His grunts and moans and thrusts spur on the intense pleasure. 

“More!” you moan. “Oh my god. Harder, please, I need–”

Joel plants rough bites on your neck and kisses too like he’s trying to consume every inch of you. 

He places a large hand around your throat questioningly and you nod.

“Beg for it,” he commands in his deep, sexy voice — the voice that’s been in every wet dream you’ve ever had. You think you might just pass out from the sound alone. 

“Choke me, Daddy,” you whine as pathetically as you possibly can, batting your eyes. “Oh, please, I could cum from just this, but I want more. More of you. All of you.”

“As you fuckin’ wish, baby,” he snickers in amusement. “Bet no little boy ever fucked you like this, huh?” he growls, continuing his rough pace, slamming against your walls, his eyes growing wild.

“They don’t compare to you, Joel. It’s always been you. In every orgasm. Fuck, never felt like this! Shit! Shit!”

Joel reaches out his large scarred hand and applies gentle delicious pressure to your throat. You know even something like this can be dangerous, but you crave that feral look of violence in his eyes and the power that comes with it. You want him to own you completely – every inch of you. You want him to mark you just like he said he wanted to because he is yours and you are his and has it ever really been any other way? You can’t remember properly from the pleasure rushing through you, the white dove inside you spreading and fluttering its wings, cooing softly. You think it’s only ever been what you feel now.

“Joel, Joel, fuck!” you scream, orgasm building in you.

“I know, babygirl. I know,” he coos himself into your mouth.

He pulls you closer, presses his nose to yours, his lips to yours, biting and kissing like a starving man possessed. He looks into your eyes and it’s there! That look of pure predator closing in on its prey, that look of ownership but also the most intense love you think you’ve ever witnessed. You would recognize that look anywhere. Your starved brain cries out for oxygen beneath his iron grip. 

“Gonna cum again, angel,” Joel growls. “Gonna make you cum so hard you’re never gonna forget who you belong to. Whose pretty pussy this is.”

He is pounding so hard against your cervix and his dick is so big inside you and the pressure of his hand squeezing around you is so overwhelming and the scent of him could make you faint straight then and there, but you let go and feel yourself cumming in enormous waves as you squeeze down around Joel’s prick, the pleasure more intense than any single bodily experience you’ve had.

“ Daddy ,” you whine breathlessly, tears trickling out of your eyes. “Oh my god!”

“You’re mine, babygirl, always have been–FUCK!” he shouts into your throat, collapsing on top of you.

And then you feel him starting to empty himself inside you, painting your sensitive insides with trustful after trustful of hot cum. You’ve never felt so helplessly full and sticky in your life, the brilliant pleasure billowing through every inch of you. You want to feel like this every day, stuffed full of Joel’s cock, so close to him you can feel his heartbeat against yours, the one true place you belong. 

“So beautiful, babygirl,” he whispers in an exhausted type of awe.

When your words come back you reply,

“Shut up, you’re the hot one,” through a snicker. 

You look down at your body, covered in purple bite marks and bruises forming like galaxies across your body. 

Joel snorts. Then he sits up on the couch and you lean your cheek against him. You lean up to kiss his cheek and he blushes ever so slightly.

“I said a lot of stuff, Y/N, but I want you to know that I meant all of it,”

“Yeah, you probably said more in the last hour than you’ve ever uttered in your entire life,” you tease, sitting up.

“I’m serious,” he snickers.

“I am and was too,” you nod. “I’m so glad that you’re here with me — that we did this. I know that our…origin story is weird and unconventional and some might argue straight up wrong, but I need you, Joel. I don’t care about that or think I could go back to pretending to be what we were.”

“You think I’d want you to act like that?” he asks incredulously. “You think I want this to just be a one-time thing?”

“Of course not,” you smirk. “But as close as we are I can’t actually read your mind. I mean…how are we going to be together realistically?”

“I’m not sure,” Joel admits, frowning a little. “For now it has to be a secret unless you want your mother or brother in jail for murdering me this time around. But someday, I dunno. It’s dumb…”

“What?”

“I just have these thoughts sometimes about you ‘n me. I…” Joel’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Had a lot of time to think in prison, you know? And I’d Imagine us living on a ranch somewhere quiet out in the country with a flock of sheep. I could work at the tractor and auto-body repair shop that’d be out there, you know, in this dream of mine, and you could be a counselor at a local school if that’s what ya wanted. I don’t know, l know it sounds silly, but nobody would know or bother us there. But I want you to finish school and have the best life possible, babygirl. I’d wait a thousand years for you, but if you didn’t want me anymore the way we are now, I’d respect that. And if you’d allow it, I’d still be there for you just in a platonic sense — or just there for you however you want because I can’t imagine my life with you in it. I’d do whatever it takes, brokenhearted or not. I just can’t be separated from you like that again. A day longer in prison and I could’ve keeled over and died. And it’s crazy how much I mean that.”

“I don’t ever want to be separated from you again, Joel,” you agree. “I know the original plan was for you to find work and get an apartment of your own and I would love for that to still happen, but with you being intimate with me in every way – even if it has to be a secret. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I need you in mine. I’ve never needed something more than I need that. Understand?”

Joel pulls you into a hug and leans his chin on the top of your head. He kisses it then your forehead. You lean up and plant a kiss on his throat and then his Adam’s apple.

“Don’t mean to get too ahead of ourselves now. We can take things a day at a time,” he mumbles into your skin.

You yawn contentedly, the tiredness clawing at your eyes, so unbelievably spent.  

“I like hearing about your dreams and I’d go anywhere with you, Joel. But I am kinda dead from how good you just fucked me. Take me to bed?” You ask exhaustedly into his chest.

“Of course, babygirl,” he smirks down at you.

***

You don’t let go of Joel all night long, burrowed up against his chest, his heartbeat against your ear. And he doesn’t let go of you either. After the most intimate night of cuddles and snuggling you’ve ever experienced as well as the deepest and most restful sleep you’ve had in ages, you wake up to Joel gone from the bed. You frown, having wanted more than anything to wake up in his strong arms. Fear grips your insides as you wonder if he finally realized last night was a mistake and that you were never meant to be together in the first place (what you fear more than anything). A stupid vulnerable tear comes to your eye, but then you cock your head and hear music playing. Guitar music. 

You think of your apartment as shitty, but truthfully you care deeply about your little private space and one of the things you do actually love the most about it is the tiny balcony that overlooks a measly courtyard and part of the city. That’s where you find Joel in the deck chair holding his guitar, strumming it lazily.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says, fingerpicking a melody that scratches at the back of your mind with familiarity. 

“Morning, handsome,” you tell him softly, plopping your smaller hand down on his shoulder. 

The city hasn’t woken up yet, the soft glow of morning shining beams of light onto you and Joel, filling you with warmth. You sit down in the deck chair next to him, bathing in the sunlight.

“Whatcha playing?” you ask curiously, crouching to sit up on your knees.

“You know the song ‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen?” Joel asks in that beautifully deep voice of his. 

He isn’t even singing yet but you could listen to him forever. 

“‘Course,” you nod. “It’s a classic. You used to play it for me once in a blue moon.”

“Know what the word ‘Hallelujah’ actually means?” he asks. 

You think about it for a second.

“It’s about praising god and all that, right? Why d’you ask?”

He pauses, both his words and fingerpicking. 

“Babygirl,” he begins and you can tell he’s about to say something serious. “You know I’m not too good with words, but I need you to know this: I’ve never had much to thank god for in my life, except for Sarah, you know? But then He took her away…”

You place your hand on Joel’s and he looks at you sadly, but appreciatively. He flips it over and holds it in his giant paw of his own marked-up hand. 

“And I was so fucking angry. Nothing left in me. The only good part of me gone. I was a broken man. And I hated Him. But then He, despite the shit I’ve done…He gave me you . And I know our road hasn’t been easy or fair, and the pain you’ve felt and I have felt but…I guess what I’m trying to say is you are the reason I believe that any type of…goodness— of holiness— can exist in this universe. And I’m not a religious man, I don’t believe in most of that dogmatic type of shit, and I don’t think you do either, but I do think someone or something is up there and I wanna thank them for you. Does that make sense? Do you wanna hear what I mean? I just feel so damn grateful.”

A tear you hadn’t noticed was there rolls down your cheek. 

“Of course it does and of course I do,” you tell him.

You think perhaps this is the closest thing he can do to bearing his soul to you. 

And then he leans over and kisses the tear away and begins to fingerpick the familiar melody.

♪ “I heard there was a secret chord…”♫

You listen to his deep weathered voice as the sun grows higher in the morning sky, casting both light and shadow over Joel’s wrinkled, handsome face. The light trails over you too. You feel the dove inside you cooing contentedly, dusting its wings gently against the edges of your insides. 

♪There's a blaze of light in every word / It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah…”♫

When he finishes he places his large, scarred, calloused hand in yours and you hold it between your own scarred fingers.

“Thank you, Joel,” you tell him, meaning every word. “I think there’s hope for us, you know? I don’t believe in hippie-dippie type stuff, but something in this universe did bring us together. And I’ll be forever grateful for that too, ya know?”

Joel squeezes your smaller hand, his big fingers engulfing yours as the dove coos louder inside you.

“Babygirl, you know that I ain’t a good man, or a rich and educated one like maybe you thought you’d end up with, but I am less of a broken one because of you and I’m never letting you go. If we’re together, I think we have a chance.”

A/n:PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING DID THE SMUT LIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS????

PART 1

PART 3 (coming soon)

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

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