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kitashousewife · 11 months

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we're in trouble now

an: Halloween vibes? but not really? idk sort of kind of based on bad, bad, bad by LANY

pairings: geto x fem!reader

warnings: MANGA SPOILERS (vol 0, geto's past/high school years) mentions of: killing, curses, death, blood, police, crime, throwing up/gagging. sorcerer au, reader is not a sorcerer. established relationship, pet names, angst to comfort kinda? geto is just a little troubled, lowercase intentional

geto has been...off lately. and you're not sure why. he's been coming home later and later each night, causing you to lie awake in your shared bed, staring up at the ceiling, worried out of your mind.

it must be his job.

you've been dating for three years now. you knew before you started to date that he was a jujutsu sorcerer. he told you one night at the fanciest restaurant in tokyo, flushed cheeks and stuttering over his words. you couldn't care less, though. if anything, it was fucking hot to have a sorcerer as a boyfriend.

his job never got in the way of anything, though. he had amazing friends, who you've spent lots of time with. he was always home before dinner, never leaving on missions any longer than two days, even offering to take you along.

the last time that happened was about five months ago.

now it's 3:30 am, and you've found yourself in bed by yourself. again. calling him again, the line goes to voicemail almost instantly. you huff and throw your phone on the bed, watching it bounce before it lands face up. to your surprise, he's calling you back. rushing over, you leap onto the mattress, answering as quickly as possible.

"s-sugu? baby, are you alright?" your voice shakes. you're not sure why your chest feels so tight, why your breaths seem harder and harder to take.

geto feels the same way. he always does after he finishes off another one.

phone between his ear and shoulder, geto stands in front of a public restroom sink, scrubbing his hands for the third time in a row. the cheap soap does nothing to get rid of the blood that stains his fingers, deep in every crevice of his skin. looking at himself in the mirror, he feels an incredible sense of guilt.

"yeah, i'm fine baby. hey can you do me a favor, sweetheart?"

you can hear his voice echoing, almost as if he's in a pool.

"s-sure, where are you?"

geto feels guilty. he doesn't mean for you to be this upset. he also doesn't want to lie to you.

the four bodies behind him in the open stall are making it a little tough.

"oh i've just been finishing up work," one of the bodies, eyes still open, stare right at geto through the reflection of the mirror as he speaks. "i'll be home soon though, darling. i promise."

he hits mute as a shaky sigh leaves his lips. he peeks at his reflection once more, watching as the shirt worn by one of the dead bodies soaks up more blood. one of the bodies lets out a liquidy gurgle that echos off the tile walls. geto can almost see the last bit of life escape them, floating up into the air to join the rest of those that died the same way these ones did.

"what was the favor you needed?"

geto feels sick now. your voice so sweet, so innocent and airy. he can't you're with someone like him.

a killer.

sneaking out of the bathroom and to his car, he unmutes himself.

"could you grab a couple suitcases from the closet? pack up enough for a few days, and could you pack a little for me as well?" he buckles himself in and just as he starts his car, the sound of sirens appear in the distance.

"yeah, i can do that," you stand up, heart still racing. did you have a trip planned?

turning down different back alleys, stalling for a second as the sirens get closer, geto takes a deep breath.

"you're an angel. i'll be there soon. i love you, my perfect girl."

you end the call and begin to do as you were asked. filling the suitcases as quick as you can, you don't pay much attention to the outfits you've created. you don't even know where you're going, anyway. you smile, picturing in your mind a quick little getaway for the two of you. sightseeing, sleeping in, and spending time away from work.

you still feel a little off.

where was he?

the door bursts open, presenting a very flustered geto. his bun is almost out, dark tresses barely hanging at the nape of his neck. the pieces that fell out stick to his face from what looks like sweat. his pupils are blown wide, mouth slightly agape as he breathes heavily. you drop the t-shirt of his out of your hands and scramble to your feet.

"s-sugu? oh my god, what happened to you? did you get mugged? d-did someone try to kill you? oh my god," you gasp, hands reaching for every part of his body to make sure he was in one piece.

geto swallows back the guilt induced vomit that sits at the back of his throat. "no, baby, not at all," he coos down at you, but his eyes look anywhere but your face. they check each window and door, before eyeing the suitcases. "thank you so much for doing this. we're going away for a few days, is that alright?" he says with a smile. cupping your face ever so lightly with his slightly stained fingers. he's thankful you forgot to turn on the lights.

"of course, suguru. are we going far? let me make something to eat," you pull him towards the kitchen, but he tugs you back.

"we can eat when we get there, i promise. let's just get going," he speaks quickly, eyes still checking the windows.

"is everything okay?" you say, copying his stares out the window. he notices and grabs his suitcase and yours, before heading towards the door. he almost throws up again, torn between telling you everything and keeping you in the dark. he swallows hard.

"the car is on, i can explain everything later. we'll be just fine, i promise." you smile, feeling a little more at ease. with a nod, you grab a jacket and head out the door.

as soon as you get to the car, geto opens the passenger door for you and puts the suitcases in the back with speed. you haven't even buckled your seatbelt by the time he starts to drive away.

"it's 4:30 am baby, we don't need to race! it's not like anyone is on the road," you laugh and reach your hand to hold his. he jumps when you touch him. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean to scare you," you mumble, and he gives you a small smile, which fades as soon as the faint sounds of sirens fill the air. his stare jumps up to the rearview mirror, and he takes a sudden sharp turn that has you jumping in your seat.

"suguru! what is going on?"

he turns down another street and speeds up a little bit.

"angel, i've gotten myself into a bit of trouble, okay? everything is gonna be just fi-"

"what did you do?" your voice is stern, but geto gives you a smile, eyes softening as he drives down a back road.

"i'll explain everything later, just like i promised. for now, i need you to trust me, okay?"

your mind and stomach scream no no no at you, but your heart takes over.

"okay, i trust you."

you must have fallen asleep at some point on the drive, because when you open your eyes you're met with sunshine and costal views.

"there she is, good morning darling. we're almost there."

blinking a few times and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you realize that you have pulled into a small town next to the ocean. geto appears to be more relaxed. you reach around for your phone, but you can't seem to find it.

"are you looking for your phone?" you nod. "i put it in my bag for you. i thought it would be good for us to stay off of our phones for the next couple of days. just time with each other, how does that sound?" his face beams at you from the driver's seat. you can't say no, especially not when he's being so kind and sweet.

"i think that sounds lovely."

you pull up to a motel, which looks as if it doesn't get a lot of business. you start to feel a little uneasy, and geto can sense that.

"wait right here, i'll get us checked in," he kisses your cheek and walks towards the motel office. now that you're a little more awake, you start to become hyper-aware of your surroundings. based off of the looks, you're at least four hours from home. you start to think a little more. was he running from the cops? what type of trouble is he in?

he returns quickly, room key in hand. he grabs the suitcases out of the car and you follow close behind him all the way to your room. as soon as you enter, he quickly shuts the door and locks it behind him. you have a seat on the old motel bed without a word.

feeling a little more relieved, he sighs and looks at you. worry all over your face, wringing your hands that are placed in your lap.

"isn't this nice? our own little place, right on the ocean. i know how much you love the ocean, we could even go check out the shops later!"

you don't say anything. geto begins to panic.

"are you hungry? would you like me to get some food for us? if you want, we could go-"

"why did you take me here?" your voice is nothing more than a whisper. you feel sick, you know something is terribly wrong. he kneels in front of you on the floor and grabs your hand.

"sweetheart, do you think humans are good people?"

you give him a confused look. "maybe not everyone, but most people i know are good people," you think out loud. geto's stomach feels a little uneasy.

"your asshole manager? you think that guy is a good person?"

"no, not him. but my other coworkers are great people, remember? you've met them!"

of course he has. he's been to many work dinners and events.

he also killed one of them last night, but he won't tell you that.

"darling, why do you think there is so much crime in the world? so many good people like you say, having their lives ruined by these terrible humans. wouldn't the world be a better place if they just...went away?"

your mouth opens slightly and you blink at him a few times. you start to sweat a little bit, and the room feels like it's caving in on the two of you.

"what are you suggesting?"

he comes to sit next to you on the bed and holds you in his arms.

"do you know what i do for work?"

he feels you nod into his chest. "you fight curses, right?"

"that's right. do you know why curses exist?"

you shake your head.

"because of humans. regular humans, like you, who can't fight or see curses. curses only exist because of them. they are able to flow through people and hurt them, which makes my friends and i come in to save them. that doesn't seem very fair, does it?"

you disagree. you know deep down that this isn't right, what he's implying is evil.

"w-well no, but-"

"do you know hard it is to fight curses? to even be around curses?" he stands up, voice raising. hot, angry tears fill his lash line. "do you know how disgusting my cursed technique is?"

your mouth opens and shuts, unable to form any words at all. you want to speak, but you simply cannot find the words to say. you know there is nothing. you can say to help him feel any better.

"i don't know but i want to, i want to understand you better," you mumble, lip quivering and voice cracking slightly. you feel terrible, you had no idea how much pain geto has been in. he paces back and forth in front of you, wiping his tears with his hands. suddenly he stops.

"you'll think that i'm gross, that i'm a monster," he rambles. you stand up, grabbing his hand and holding him close.

"i promise i won't. i love you,"

he takes a deep breath and backs away, leading you back to the bed to sit down. you continue to hold his hands in your own, attempting to provide any sense of comfort.

"i can summon curses. i can call them to help me fight, whenever i need them," he starts, glancing at you to see your reaction. to his surprise, you're completely neutral.

"that sounds really cool, sugu. what do they look like?" you ask, eyes wide and full of curiosity. geto can't help the smile that grows on his face at how innocent you are.

you are exactly why he wants this perfect world.

he raises his hand and a small curse appears. something kind of silly looking, much like a kids drawing with wings. you look at it for a second, before he interupts.

"can you see it?"

you nod. "that's good. some humans can see them, and some can't. this little guy is harmless," he waves his hand and the curse flies away, out the door and into the world.

"can you make bigger ones?"

he chuckles. "yes, some ten times his size, maybe even bigger. they all have different abilities, some are stronger than others," he looks at you once more, relieved to see that you're smiling.

"how do you get them, do you make them?"

geto doesn't say anything, but continues to stare at the carpet at his feet.

"i swallow them," noticing your confused face, he elaborates. "it turns into a ball, fits right in the palm of my hand, almost looks like a crystal ball," he swallows hard. "then i just...swallow it."

you nod and stroke his back. he shivers a little at the thought.

"it tastes so vile, so disgusting. i can't even describe the taste," he shakes his head, tears brimming his eyes once more. "tastes like death. which make sense," he sniffles.

"why, sugu?"

he looks at you, tears streaming down his face at this point. you brush them away with your thumb, but they keep falling.

"i'm a killer. you don't deserve me. i try to make this world a better place, one where i don't have to watch my friends die. one where i don't even have to worry about curses, one where i don't have to think about ever losing you," he raises his voice, each word coming out through choked sobs.

"i want to keep you safe. i want to be away from this, from everything. i want to protect you," he cries, and you pull him close. "god, everyone probably thinks i'm so fucked up. they probably thing im ruining your life,"

you shake your head. "people can think whatever they want." with a nod, he lays back down on the bed. you push the fallen strands out of his face, playing with them a bit to help him calm down.

"how long do you want to stay here?"

he wipes his face and props himself up on his elbows. "i dunno, couple of days at least,"

you nod. the two of you sit in silence. geto has run out of things to say, as have you.

it’s light outside, sunny and bright. the exact opposite of the mood inside of the dingy motel room. seagulls sing outside as they perch, happy tunes that almost make you laugh. you’re not sure what to think, what to feel.

“are we gonna be alright, sugu?”

he sighs. “i think so.”

#this has been sitting in my drafts for an entire year #geto x reader #geto suguru #geto suguru x reader #geto angst #jjk geto #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen

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cruyuu · 15 days

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I'm reading japanese comments and it seems they also suspect Sukuna might be alive. Their interpretation is that the dialogue doesnt mean Sukuna rejected the offer. Actually rereading it the part where Sukuna implies Yuji is a liar (tsundere lol) it's like Sukuna saying

"you are lying, if you took me in, you would only despise me and hurt me anyway"

Hi anon!

They're not wrong for thinking so. Sukuna doesn't say yes or no, and hence the answer isn't clear. He does release Megumi (first part of the deal) but we don't see him return to Yuuji's body (second part of the deal). We just see him evaporate after Yuuji says "Let's try again" so it's likely to say that his death is not certain.

Considering just how underwhelming his "death" is... yeah. We don't hear or see anything about him and I feel like that is the biggest red flag there is. Now, I know some would argue that Sukuna should remain a mystery, never to be cracked open because that's his point as a character- that he cannot be understood- but I beg to differ, considering that everyone in this manga had been understood (and their character arcs reached their conclusion) no matter who or what they are.

If we take that into the account then Yuuji should also remain a mystery and his actions towards Sukuna unexplained. They cannot be, however, because how did Yuuji go from "I'd do anything to kill that creep" to "Let's try again". How did Yuuji go from desperately hung up on saving Megumi to, in the end, hung up on trying again with Sukuna? From trapping him in a domain to spend time with him and ask him to come back to then still asking him to come back afterwards, finishing off everything with "Well... we can always try again."

He says "Even if no one can accept you, I can. I alone can live with you."

So... how did we go from this:

to this:

Does Yuuji need reminding who he's fighting? Does he remember he called himself a murderer over this guy? He is inhabiting the body of the person Yuuji cried over so... exactly what is going on here?

All this needs an explanation, one which Yuuji can give and should give. Like... it's a big mess and it isn't being addressed at all. Both of them are just spinning in circles. From indifference to hate to what might be acceptance (coming from Yuuji, but I can't say the same about Sukuna- again, it needs to be directly stated.). I cannot even call Sukuna a hater because he was busy praising Yuuji the last couple of chapters and now... here's right back to "hating" him.

The only one who truly stopped running around in circles was Yuuji. What about Sukuna?

Is it fitting for a character to stay the same or to evolve? Yuuji had evolved completely- from being reluctant to kill, to embracing killing, only to say that his life has a purpose outside of just that. Outside of roles and things which others or "the world" deems necessary. This talk eerily fits with Sukuna's role as a monster in this story, considering his appearance and unrivaled strength. He's been cursed by birth, as was Yuuji (his words), and hence why Yuuji could understand him.

Well, what about Sukuna? Do we get an explanation from him? What about his contradictory behavior which clashes with his statements? His whole relationship with Yuuji which truly cannot be defined? His ties to Yuuji (coming from reincarnation)? His deal with Kenjaku? His continual survival despite the fact that he had gotten his fill even back in the Heian era?

There is something there and it needs to be addressed.

Now, it was Yuuji who said, "Let's end this cycle" yet the one who still considers himself a curse is Sukuna. So what cycle exactly got ended?

Sukuna evaporates after this, commending Yuuji on keeping up this act all this time (and this is the first time he calls him by his name instead of just "brat"). In one translation, he says "Do not look down on me" but in the other, he says, "Don’t underestimate me." I'd roll with this second one because it fits Yuuji's "you are me" speech way more so than the first translation.

This fight directly draws parallels to the fight against Mahito yet in this fight, everything is reversed.

It isn't the cold-hearted Yuuji who's facing down Sukuna, but one who is kind. It isn't Yuuji who's equating himself to a curse (like he did to Mahito), but equating Sukuna to himself– to a human. In the fight against Mahito, Yuuji embraces the idea of killing and living as a cog meant to eradicate curses but here, he shrugs off all of his roles, says that life matters outside of that, and asks Sukuna what he will do.

"I can kill you."

"Release Fushiguro, come back to me and I'll spare your life."

He gives him a choice.

Yuuji doesn't give Mahito any choices, even if he says that they are the same. He'll kill him again and again, no matter what, no matter when. There is not an ounce of sympathy or understanding there.

The difference between these two fights is... quite notable. Sukuna is being babied while Mahito had to run for his life. Sukuna is given a choice while Mahito had none. Sukuna got "Let's try again.", Mahito got "I'll kill you again and again."

Why? When both of them laughed at him. When both caused him trauma. When both took so much from him.

[Side note: No, Sukuna being reduced to a blob won't make me see this as any sort of humiliation. Yuuji appears far more kinder than he did in the fight against Mahito (even a bit concerned) and besides, he comes and scoops him up in his arms, telling him that they can try again. If the point of the fight was to give Sukuna the same treatment then I do not think it was successful because Sukuna got such a loving treatment that it straight up made me laugh. Keep in mind that Megumi (the person Yuuji was crying over and was fighting hard to save) is lying like a couple of steps from Sukuna unconscious, yet Yuuji came and sat down next to this curse that he supposedly despises (his words in 265, not mine) and told such lovely things :) ]

If Sukuna is supposed to die for the cycle to end, Yuuji giving him a choice to be spared would make no sense. Also Yuuji telling them they can try again also makes no sense. If he's dead, isn't that just repeating the cycle?

The way this fight parallels the Mahito fight (Nobara is there, and the way Yuuji first uses Divergent Fist and then Black flash to rip both Mahito and Sukuna out of their forms) remains of interest to me.

Mahito, once knocked out of his form (what he calls his birth), ran to Kenjaku. Kenjaku asks him if he wished to be saved, but in the end, ended up consuming him.

Worthy of mention, also, is that Mahito sought out Sukuna (touched his soul two times) but wanted to kill Yuuji, kinda like how here Yuuji sought out Megumi (touched his soul two times), but wanted to kill Sukuna. Again, it's the whole vessel situation which is being paralleled and contrasted. If we take Yuuji from that fight as Sukuna's parallel here (considering both have a soul inside of them), then, again... it's interesting because in that fight, it was Mahito who lost. Yuuji won.

By drawing parallels to the fight against Mahito, and placing Sukuna in Yuuji's spot (considering he, too, now has a soul alongside his, perfectly paralleling Yuuji), it's still suspicious that Sukuna would just disappear. Sure, you could argue that the point is for him to "die" but that would be boring now, wouldn't it? Besides, we're not here to discuss his certain death but theorize if he may still be alive.

The first possibility is for Sukuna to reincarnate later on. He dies here finally, and gets reborn with no recollection of anything as a human.

The second possibility is for Sukuna to reincarnate but with his memories intact. It's kinda unlikely considering... well... the breaking of the cycle, but then again we still don't even know what the hell that cycle is supposed to represent... nor how curses truly came to be, mind you!

The third possibility is for Sukuna to still be alive via... well, a plan crafted by his intelligence.

I don't consider someone like Sukuna (who took gambles and devised strategies) to just accept dying or, for that matter, be stupid. One of my friends thinks Yuuji taking Sukuna out in 265 (in his DE) is a strategy to get him off his game and "ruffle his feathers" because Yuuji is severely affecting Sukuna, that is true. It could be a tactic to simply make him angry and therefore not allow him to think and have time to counter-attack or devise a strategy.

But... this entire explanation makes absolutely no sense considering Yuuji's last words to Sukuna are practically what he had been stating to him in 265. There truly is no manipulating or pretending... it was pure honesty both there (in the DE) and in the real world.

Here's a list of ??? moments from the recent chapters which do make Sukuna's survival still probable:

Yuuji spends more time convincing Sukuna to live than actually killing him.

"Let's try again" Okay but... now? In a thousand years? When????

Sukuna calling Yuuji by his full name (yes, even tho that might be character development it's still weird he doesn't call him brat when he always refers to him as such. It's especially weird he'd call him by his full name when he had called him "brat" when talking to Megumi at the beginning of 268)

Blobkuna... Why does Sukuna's bodyless form lowkey resemble how the Merger might look like? Why doesn't he appear like those finger bearers of his do and then evaporates? Is it because of Kenjaku's insurance? So many questions...

Related through reincarnation. Nothing about that. Nothing at all.

Yuuji is able to transfer his soul into fingers (just like Sukuna) and he practically embodies him. Killing him is equal to killing Sukuna. Does nobody in this manga care about this fact??????? We saw him see Nobara through Sukuna's finger (the one he ripped off was taken by Rika). By this logic, Sukuna cannot truly die as long as Yuuji is around because Yuuji still remains as an active vessel housing a piece of Sukuna's soul.

All that planning... just to accept death? Sukuna isn't someone who would accept death. That thing is so obvious that even Megumi points out that he fears dying in 268. He survived countless of years within those fingers and if he did, he must've done so for a purpose. Not a bland purpose such as "killing everyone and crushing Yuuji's spirit" but a more meaningful one. Considering just how hung up he is on Yuuji, how he doesn't want to have an equal and that he ate his twin because of that... there must be something more to it. Especially because of Yuuji's own words to him.

And there might be more but I'm busy and can't really hunt for panels nor re-read jjk now. All in all, it just feels... kinda confusing and empty. His death isn't fulfilling as all others have been. While everyone else gets to talk about everything about themselves, Sukuna doesn't get a word out and he just peaces out. It would be funny to me if I didn't care about him as a character but I do, so I still have hopes.

#melanswers #jjk #sukuna #sorry for the wait!

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 8 months

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My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it.

BL - Currently Watching

7 Days Before Valentine [11/12] - Unlike some other shows, this one is actually getting better towards the end. I appreciate that Sunshine did some self reflection and became a better human being and I really enjoy the visuals here. Also, 7 days before valentine we will watch the finale, so that's neat.

Cherry Magic Th [7/12]– I like what the thai version is doing with the source material, I think they are being really smart and I'm so happy I got to watch the shopping date and the helicopter ride that were missing from the japanese live action.

Cherry Magic Anime [4/12]– I'm enjoying all the parallels way too much. Part of me wishes that it had stayed closer to the manga but since I get that also from Thailand, I can't complain.

Cooking Crush [9/12]– My expectations weren’t as low as maybe other people because I'm a OffGun fan but I am enjoying this show way more than I thought. It’s so refreshing to see good communication and well rounded characters that are given the space to work stuff out and be honest with each other. I feel for Samsee, cause, been there.

Dead Friend Forever [6/12]– this show continues to surprise me every week. I’m a big horror and slasher fan so for the premise alone I was gonna watch it. But I’m liking the way they chose to structure this story, moving from the slasher bit to the past at that moment was really smart. The visuals are so strong in this and I’m enjoying the communal murdering impulses towards the original friend group.

Ossan's Love Returns [3/12] - It’s chaos but the kind that only Japan can get away with for me. That season opener alone would’ve made me stop watching if it wasn’t for that. But the thing about these characters for me is that they get to be this ridiculous because it’s all grounded in such heart and kindness towards each other. It's a balancing act that only Japan can deliver at this level.

Playboyy [10/14] – I applaud the effort to make something new and out of the bl box, I think the show is trying to talk about interesting things and there are moments where the visuals are very strong. However, the acting is the weakest part of the whole thing and so I cannot connect to the characters, which leaves the whole experience kinda empty for me.

Although I Love You, and You? [3/10]- Japan my beloved. What’s there to say? Sakae is my new favourite boy and I’m really enjoying these two bridging the gap in their personalities.

The Sign [10/12]– Phaya and Tharn are delightful. Yai is the bestest boy ever. But there’s too many loose threads considering we only have 2 episodes left. There’s still to much going on and the investigation part of it just seems too disconnected for me to care. I really hope they're not counting on a special or a second season to wrap this up.

BL - Finished

Last Twilight – No need to repeat myself. here and here

Love for Love's Sake - What a wonderful surprise this was. Yeo Woon is one of the most adorable characters of all time and I seriously cannot handle it. From the beginning there was always a cloud over the whole story and I think in the end it all came together really well, to give us a happy ending that feels earned. Also really appreciated the way the story dealt with the triangle. Most of the time I hate them with a passion so I was really happy that Sang Won didn't just disappear and stayed in the group and kept teasing Yeo Woon. And now I'm just suppose to move on?

Night Dream – I liked the beginning a lot, but, as it’s becoming increasingly frequent, it dipped as it approached the end and although I liked how it finished I wasn’t a fan of the path to get there. Time skip once again not used well.

Sahara Sensei to Toki-kun - I have not seen the finale yet but I didn't want to wait so I might update this post when I watch it. However, Toki is my favourite boy, and I just want him to be happy.

VIP Only – Cute but ultimately forgettable.

Rose Watches OJBL

So this month I started my journey into older jbl stuff in order to have a bigger understanding of the landscape and what came before. With the help of the amazing @twig-tea I've started this journey with 2 films: Ai no Kotodama (2008) - Such a wonderful way to start this adventure. Really enjoyed this film. Without spoiling it, I understand that the beginning of the film might turn some people off of it but I think it's actually really smart and purposeful. I would definitely recommend it.

No Touching At All (2014) - Also really enjoyed this one. The direction is really interesting I thought. I feel it's all very intentional and it reflects very well the characters state of mind.

And because Cherry Magic opened the anime gates I also watched:

Given (2019) - This is SO GOOD. This show rewired my brain. Just now I was listening to THE SONG and I got emotional again. Every once in a while I enter this mindset where I feel like nothing that I watch can surprise me anymore. Then I watched this show. My thoughts after watching can be found here.

Not BL - Watched this month

The Killing Vote Taxi Driver 2 Vigilante Fermat no Ryori

Well, that's it I guess. Now I have to go and make some Love for Love's Sake gifs because I just can't move on and need to live there a little longer. Speaking of gifs, I'm always happy to take gif requests so let me know.

💜💜💜

#rose rambles #rosy watchlist #7 days before valentine #love for love's sake #pit babe the series #playboyy the series #although i love you and you #cherry magic th #cherry magic anime #no touching at all #Ai no Kotodama #given anime #the sign #ossan's love #cooking crush #multi bl #Rose Watches OJBL

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my-fancy-hat · 1 month

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A couple of days ago I finished reading Dungeon Meshi, so this post has the objective of offering a general review of my experience and opinions of the manga. I will try to avoid doing an in-depth analysis (gonna fail anyways ik myself) from the perspective of someone who have been observing the fandom from a backseat and does not intent to participe in it much (I've learned my lesson). Even though I couldn't resist spoilers during the time I planned to read it, I loved it! and it frustrates me a bit the idea that maybe I'd have enjoyed it more going full blind, but it is impossible to resist the online osmosis of information esp when its anime aired.

This manga has its story and characters clear, its writing is straight to the point, precise and clever, it trusts and respects the inteligence and feelings of its readers, giving us the essential utensils and ingredients to allow us cook our experience, and to continue cooking and eating for those who want to continue enjoying this rich story. The main dish, the essential theme is to butcher the multifaceted concept of eating. Through its volumes, one gets to discover and savor, in a divine comedy/hero's journey-descent from the circles of hell type of story, the owning of the ultimate primitive truth: the inherent and unstopable need to eat, the principle on which life is sustained, the element of addiction and connection.

I loved how dungeon meshi touches on complex conflicts related to the interpretations that can be given to its premise: devouring as a metaphor for oppression and destruction of rights between races, as can be seen in the subtle yet constant racial clash between long-lived and short-lived races. Eat also stands for desecration and usurpation of the self, embodied in the winged lion nurturing, creating emotionally dependent channels of power with the lords of the dungeons climaxing in the transgression and vore of their desires, the consummation of their intrinsic life essence, can't help thinking of it as groom and SA metaphors. We can also elevate our heads to christianity and eating becomes the way of in which humanity "devour god" and proclaims its death and independence from his unconditional goodness, crowning their place at the top of the food chain, in how Laios eats the winged lion’s desires and brings humanity back to the finite. Every living being yearns for the infinite, the dissolution of uncertainty and resentments through the promise of ethernal fullfilment. But eating, or rather, the deprivation of food, its absence as a symbol of slavery in Thistle, who had to intoxicate his soul and his people for a love that has already withered and rotted centuries ago, constipation of the innate desire to want something more, for the sake of someone's else wants, Delgal and his fear of dying.

But not everything can be catastrophic, on the act of destruction is the rejoice of creation. Eating calls for the act of cooking and connection, acceptance, as Falin, Marcille and Izutsumi accepted that to live they must continue accepting the unpleasant things on the menu, added pain and suffering, is on us if we want to swallow these sour diches in orden to appreciate its miracles. It's also about reconnecting with desire and living selfishly, for the ones who live for others or for a cause, thus reclaiming their humanity and inherit right to wish for more, like Kabru, the survivor's guilt character, making his first selfish act confessing his desire for friendship to Laios, or Mithrun, who like leftovers from a buffet in which him wasn't "appetizing" enough, compotes can still grow under care and compassion and reborn, your new life starts here. In Dungeon Meshi, cooking is sharing love, caring for others and pass on our work and wishes for those in need and cherish, like Marcille feeding a comatose Falin, Senshi to his teammates and the orcs, and Chilchuck and his union. The one who is able to provide and care, is the one who deserves to stand at the top, and that's why Laios' conclusion is beautiful writing. Even though he did indeed have to sacrifice in order to gain, had let go of his dream of a kingdom where humans and monsters could live in harmony (and the monstrosity of his new body), he created a kingdom where every human and demi-human is assured their right to have a plate on their table everyday, because eating is the privilege of the living, and in order to live we must eat. Because more than food, it's the will, the desire to eat when we don't want to, to live even if we are troubled to, whoever wants to survive will do so, because hopes and desires don't die. And as long as your desires exist, there'll be a will that remains in the world and continues to feed it.

Every character in this story (including secondary and tertiary extras) share an inherent desire to continue existing, to take and claim the selfish act of consuming. I mentioned addiction earlier, because it also struck by what it means to consume when there's no need, gluttony, reflected in the winged lion's path to humanization, which makes him quite a tragic character to me. A ilimitless entity dedicated to nurturing and fulfilling humanity's dreams for millennia, he approached and mimicked humankind and consumed desires until he created his own: to fulfill them and be his own master, he decided to subjugate himself descending to earth, to the rules of biology and abandon infinity. In parallel to Laios, who desired monstrosity and sacrificed his humanity, as if it made any difference, he choose the most fitting form for a man who failed to belong, the pain of betrayal of have desired to connect with his species, is one of the most memorable moments in my reading to see the embryo of his monster emerge from his back like a shell or butterfly coming out of its cocoon, a macabre rebirth. However, the winged lion failed to understand humanity, he failed to understand Laios, he underestimated their cruelty and desire for self-destruction "they'd be happy as long as they had their stomachs full" seen in his flashback, and failed (or manipulated Laios into believing so) to understand his kindness. Every meal, every step and bitterness Laios went through, he always tried to understand the unknown, his enemy, he respected his prey and all those who helped him on his way. He respected Thistle's wishes to the end, he accepted that his menu would not be to everyone's liking (Marcille, Kabru) and admired deeply their determination to help him finish their portion, that it's possible to be accepted, even him. Laios loves monsters but he also wants his love for humanity to be mutual: if he wished for the extermination of humanity, why would he want to create a kingdom where everyone can share the meals they like with the people they love? it's a fascinating dichotomy.

Among the things that I "didn't like" or rather say, my personal preferences, are the vast extra content this story has that, at least some of it? could have perfectly been included in the main story. I have read some extras and fun facts of some characters and I think if there were included in the main plot (making sense with the timeline ofc), would have enriched the experience more. Such as Kabru's complex of believing he's half monster/succubus and the fact this belief made a butterfly effect in dragging his mother to Utaya and she dying later. I would have loved to have an entire chapter dedicated to Utaya's tragedy from Kabru or Milsiril's pov, or Mithrun pre and post Lord of the Dungeon days, getting to know more about the cannaries and such. Nonetheless, I am still satisfied with what we got. I'm more than happy to see that Mithrun, Falin and Kabru meet their conclusion with a beginning of a new life ahead.

To grap up this all, (excuse the messiness of this lol but I wanted to write this in the most sincere way!!) I loved this story and I'm currently obsessed with these people, it's been a while since I felt an entire cast like this. it's great and a treat for anyone who likes to read with their mind and heart open, or to just have fun with a dynamic cast, exciting plot twists and rich world-building and a bittersweet but well-deserved ending. This could have been such a more darker story (i'd fw it too) but I'm possitively surprised and glad it maintained it's tone to the end. It makes everything more unique and loyal to its theme of cooking=bonds/nurturing/love. It makes me immensely content to leave this story with the promise of them growing old together like a family. Senshi, Chilchuck, Izutsumi and friends keeping at close, Falin, Marcille, Kabru and Yaad helping Laios in his new life as king of Melini. He will never feel lost or alone again.

#top 5 obv in no particular order: laios mithrun marcille kabru thistle #thistle reminds me of ymir fritz aah #smth that i didn't mention is that i love how dm use foreshadowing. marcille's nightmare=her becoming the next lord of the dungeon #and laios' succubus+WL dream=marcille trying to convice laios to join her as a medium for the WL through his desire of monsterhood #have read the last page with nope by michael abels ost made me tear up likeeeeee #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #reading #long post #sorry in advance if my wording is all over the place translating is exhausting

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lightning-storm-studies · 1 year

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No-stress Summer Learning Challenge 🌞

Where did the idea of the no-stress summer learning challenge come from 🤔?

I see do many posts about summer studying, that it makes me worried. People spend their time studying during summer holidays, already preparing for the upcoming semester/school year. It's your free time and, as someone, who already has a full-time job (and is trying to finish her thesis to get a master's degree), I can tell you, that you probably won't have that much free time in the summer once you start working. Yes, it's sad and unfair, but unfortunately, it's real 🙁. So please, take your time, use it for something else, than worrying about exams, preparing for school and getting stressed and burnt out before school even starts. Don't waste your energy sitting in front of your PC/laptop, or with a course book, learing stuff by heart, while the sun ☀️ is shining outside, children are playing and other people are going out with their friends and families. And if you already work full-time, but also are still a student, don't use whatever free time you have on summer to study even more. Unless you absolutely have to, of course (I'm in this kind of situation, I have to write my thesis during summer, because the deadline is in September), but even then, don't use all your time for schoolwork. Although I consider summer studying an unnecessary stress factor, there's a difference between studying and learning. Studying is for school, learning is for yourself 🙂. I'm not telling you to be lazy the whole summer, but to consider learning something, that doesn't include schoolwork. It may be related to what you're studying in college/at school, or it may be something totally different. It may be something about technology 🔌 (programming, robotics, electronics...), art 🎨 (drawing, painting, embroidery...), nature 🌱 (gardening, foraging, birdwatching...), music 🎶 (singing, playing an instrument, making electronic music...), foreign languages 🗺️, sports ⚽, cooking 🍲, baking 🍩, kintting 🧶, sewing 🪡... the list is endless. So, as an alternative to summer studying challenge, you can start a no-stress summer learning challenge.

The main rules 📑

The main purpose of this challenge is to find motivation to learn for yourself 😀 again, so no exams, no homework, no grades, just you and your goal .

You're free to choose what you're going to learn, based on your own passions, dreams and ambitions 😍, without worrying about other people's judgement and expectations.

It's supposed to be stress free 😌, so there are no fixed schedules or deadlines. It's up to you to plan your learning and decide, how long it's going to take you.

To stay focused, please choose one topic and stick to it. It doesn't mean, you can't learn anything else. Actually you should, because staying concentrated on one thing for too long can make you burn out quickly, but have one main goal 😎.

Remember to take proper breaks 🥱. Learning all the time will only make you sterssed and tired. It's not school, so you don't need to worry about any fixed due date or preparing for a test.

Don't be too hard on yourself and remember that mistakes are a part of learning 😯, not a failure or shame.

Preparing for the challenge and completing it 📚

Think about, what do you want to learn this summer. It doesn't have to be very specific at this stage. For example, it can be something like "I want to learn about cats 🐈", or "I want to learn to draw 🖼️", or "I want to learn about tea 🫖".

When you know, what you want to learn, do your research, to be able to set a more specific goal. Read about this topic, watch some videos, maybe try to find people, who have more knowledge about it, than you, and talk to them. Let the "I want to learn about cats" become "I want to learn proper cat care 😸", the "I want to learn to draw" become "I want to learn to draw manga 🎏" or the "I want to learn about tea" become "I want to learn, how to brew various kinds of tea 🍵".

You've done the research, so now it's time to find your "why", because to stay motivated, you need to remember that you're doing it for a reason and that this knowledge is useful. The "I want to learn proper cat care" becomes "I want to learn proper cat care to make my cats healthier and happier 😻", the "I want to learn to draw manga" becomes "I want to learn to draw manga, because I'm interested in art and Japanese culture 🌸" and the "I want to learn, how to brew various kinds of tea" becomes "I want to learn, how to brew various kinds of tea, because I like tea and I want to make it even better 🍃".

Once you find your motivation, look for the learning resources 💻. It can be an online course, internet articles, scientific papers, books, YouTube videos, TikTok videos... whatever, depends on what you're going to learn. You can also contact someone, who is na expert in what you're learning, and ask them for help. While learning from blogs, videos, etc., remember to check the sources, to make sure the person, who created this content, knows what they're talking/writing about.

When you know your resources, plan the whole thing ahead 📝, considering your other summer plans (like traveling or going out with friends), to make sure, that you have enough time for learning and that the time you're going to spend working towards your goal is fairly evenly distributed to avoid stress and burnout, but remember to make your schedule flexible, so you don't have to worry about learning at a fixed time. Again, it's not school.

You've planned everything, now set reminders in your phone 📱 and/or write it down in a planner 📔 or on some post-it notes 📄... whatever works best for you to remember about your goal and the time you've decided to spend learning.

To minimize the risk od procrastination, divide the tasks into smaller tasks. You can write to-do lists ☑️ (either digital, or on paper), so you can see your progress and know exactly, what needs to be done.

To avoid getting burnt out 🤯, step away from what you're learning once in a while. Don't overwork yourself, you're not preparing for an exam.

To ensure you have enough energy ⚡, take care of your health, both physical and mental. Take breaks, sleep long enough 😴, go out with your friends, stay hydrated 💧, exercise 🏃🏻‍♀️, spend some time in nature 🌲.

Last, but not least: remember to post regular updates about your progress on your blog. It can be every day, every three days, once a week... you decide. It can include photos, but doesn't have to. Just make it regular and tag it with "no-stress summer learning challenge" or "no-sslc" 😊.

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selfproclaimedunicorn · 10 months

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MORE QUESTIONS

what other fandoms do you enjoy outside of ASOIAF?

Lmao, the big list of Things Misa Enjoys

I very much enjoy anime & manga. I got infected with those brain worms back in high school, & they simply will not leave. Particularly into Sailor Moon, which I haven't stopped thinking about since 1999, (I have OCs for that & a fic I'm gonna one day sit down & plot out beyond This Is The Vibe. I have a few things floating around in my brain, but I just haven't made the time to do anything with it. Maybe since I'm at reception for 6 hours I'll do that 🤷🏻‍♀️) & JoJo's (I also have OCs for this one, but no fic. I do have a homebrewed ttrpg system to run a JoJo's campaign with, though. But I need to finish statting enemy Stand Users & some character design. Also it's not a priority because I have an asoiaf campaign trilogy to finish running). I don't read or watch anything with the quickness, so I haven't watched a ton of newer anime or made that much of a dent in my reading of Berserk, but I do enjoy both newer stuff and Berserk. I even have a couple figures from Demon Slayer, which is probably my favorite newer series? It feels very nostalgic to the series I grew up watching.

I was into the Netflix Witcher series, but I haven't been able to bring myself to finish season 3. No amount of Joey Batey tits or confirmed pansexual Jaskier can really build my hype back up when I've heard the last bit of s3 sucked & I know I probably won't watch season 4. I have collected all but the last book of short stories though, so once I've worked through more of my books I need to give a fair shake before donating I plan to start those & get into The Witcher proper.

The Elder Scrolls is very good & fun, & I know the plots of all the mainline games even though I've only ever actually played Skyrim to completion. I have...I have so many OCs for that. And a fic I'm slowly working on that tells the story of the Dawnguard DLC by way of Lapsed Viglant Of Stendarr & Werewolf Vampire Hunter Are Forcibly Adopted As Serana's New Parents (and also I am confirming Serana as, like, eternally 19 because she feels very teenagery/early 20s-y to me). Fun fact: two of my current very close friends (my Platonic Wife included) were made by way of TES (and then another friend was introduced to me by a TES friend). So, thanks for your service, Todd Howard. Y'know, I guess.

It feels very "What are your hobbies? / Magnets." to say, but, like, dolls in general. I've collected porcelain dolls since I was little (but that collection got pared down massively when I moved from Texas), & I'm currently working through a clean/restore/dress/display of my old Bratz dolls. I've also dropped real adult money on dolls to (out of box, bc it sparks joy) display in my apartment. Specifically the Sasha (my best girl) Rock Angelz repro I waited almost a full year to see drop, Heather Greyson from Shadow High, & The Pride Bratz (I had a giftcard). I need to finish cleaning my old Bratz before I drop money on more though. So I know my shelving situation, lmao.

I am not not into Dragon Age, but I also complain about it all the time. I refuse to engage with it in a multimedia way. What I cannot learn by playing the games/have told to me in those games is simply not for me to know. Just...the way the franchise is handled & how it feels very obvious that Bioware wants to tell an incredibly specific story (while still allowing for character creation?), all the lore decisions they're making that feel like retcons/throw away everything I got invested in early (hello the dwarves & the dalish & Alistair's everything), & the increasing non-optional nature of the comics & books...it brings my blood to boil. The games are fun though! I have fun playing the games! And my personal Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor trios can be pried from my cold, dead hands!

I'm gonna be real, I know much more about Th Old World Of Darkness than Vampie v5, but I am into Vampire The Masquerade. This is, again, a "I have learned everything in bursts of hyperfixation that last a varying length of time," but I would very much like to take one of my two special vampire boys out for a spin one day. Because they're there! They exist & they are appropriately melodramatic, & I love them. Evil, fucked up, Hecata thug & flouncy, Catholic For The Aesthetic Toreador music producer my beloveds 💕

#ask #im also casually into batman & the flash #and star trek #but not enough to really make NOTE y'know

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archives-of-camelot · 7 months

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Surprise Gifts

Characters: Eli, Evelin (@nimue-hidden-lake)

Series: Evelin Anniversary

Eli was working once again, early one morning. Freelance editing always ensured he could make money on the side. Plus, he enjoyed doing it. It helped that many of his clients put the good word in to those in their circle, meaning he had a steady flow.

Some even wondered why he didn't utilize his talents for himself, and he couldn't exactly give an answer. He might be able to make it big one day with a channel of his own, but he was content doing what he loved, and getting paid for it.

Clicking and sliding, his work was interrupted by a knock.

"The doc's in" he said, his usual response.

Evelin walked in, carrying something behind her back, though Eli had yet to see.

"Have you eaten yet today?" she asked, looking at his screen.

"Mhm. Before I even started" he said with a smile, pointing to the dirty plate next to him.

"That's good" she nodded.

Finishing up an edit, he took off his headset and turned to face her.

"What's up? Something you need me for?" he'd ask, stretching.

"You might say that"

Finally taking notice of the box behind her, he tilted his head, before smiling again.

"Oh, your package came in. What'd you get?"

"It's not for me" she answered, pulling it out and handing it to him.

He stared at the box in his lap, unable to tell what it could possibly be, other than the somewhat small box it was packaged in.

"W-Wait, what's the occasion?"

She only shrugged lightly, staring, seemingly eagerly. To some it might look like her usual stare, but there was a slight intensity to it. Taking that as a hint to stop asking questions, he opened the box.

Aside from the parchment paper protecting and holding it in place, he saw something. A blue device, no bigger than a phone possibly. Emblazoned with a red symbol on the front.

"Th-This is...no..."

Eli took the device in his hands and examined it. It was in great condition. A merchandise relic from his favorite game.

"A...PET...? he asked, wide eyed.

She nodded.

"B-But this had to have been expensive. These go for like, hundreds!" he sounded worried, concerned at how much she must've spent on it.

"I found a post from a mom cleaning out her children's old toys online. She sold it for cheap"

"In this good of condition?" still wide eyed.

She nodded again.

"I dunno what to say...thanks Evelin" he put the PET down and hugged her.

"No problem" with a slight smile as she hugged back.

A real PET. Something he's wanted since childhood! But...even though she said she got it for cheap, he still felt guilty. He never was good with gifts, not receiving them anyways.

Later, he thought to himself (after thoroughly playing with the PET of course). What could he do...? He had some money set aside, but he didn't have the foggiest clue what to repay her with. So, he went searching. Hours went by, until he found it. A local book store had just what he needed.

He just had to hope they still had what he was looking for.

. . . Later . . .

Evelin was sat by Pinro's dish, petting the cat as she ate her food, purring all the while with each stroke.

"Hey, uh...hope I'm not interrupting" he said with a wave.

"Not at all" she said, looking up while still petting Pinro.

"So, I really appreciate what you got me. The best present I've ever received" he said with a warm smile. "And no rules say I have to but...y'know, I'm no good at this, so just take a look" as he handed her the bag.

She examined the bag, before reaching in and pulling out a book. It looked to be a manga of some sort. It showed a knight with cat ears, holding a glowing turquoise blade, accompanied by a spirit manifesting from said sword. He was about to face off against a giant black dragon, surrounded by flames of darkness. The cover read:

Tales of the Neko Warrior - Vol.6

Her expression changed ever so slightly, her eyes sparkled with excitement as she took in the sight of her favorite book series.

"I was saving up money to get the PET. But since you got it for me ahead of time, and the most recent volume's translation just releasing, I figured why not?" he said with a smile.

Wordlessly she hugged him, and he swore, if she was a cat, he might've heard her purring. He chuckled and hugged back.

"You like it I take?"

"Yes...thank you" she said, not letting go.

Masterlist

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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 years

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Not sure if it has been done but Glaciator 2...

Gale poorly explains: Glaciator 2

(Paris having all of the ads now have LADYNOIR KISS) Ladybug: WE ARENT A COUPLE!

Chat noir: But we do look cute

Ladybug: Oh no I forgot, I need to take out the trash (Yeets Chat noir into trash bin

(Decimates Glaciator then yeets trash can on roof)

Ladybug: (Annoyed) So what were you saying earlier?!

Chat noir: Okay I over stepped with a joke when you werent in the mood. To apologize I will just stop flirting and just move one. I am sorry

Ladybug: (Still angry) Good

(Cue depressed adrien montage)

Alya: You cant make me delete my babies

Marinette: Do it.

Alya: (Removes all the ladynoir photos)

(More depression)

Shadowmoth: Oh damn there is a MEGA DEPRESSED KID. I gotta capitlize on th... its adrien. Wow, what a mood killer. He should be home anyway.

_____________________________________________________________

Marinette: GASP! DEPRESSED ADRIEN! I GOTTA CAPITALIZE ON THIS. I need to find the gift for this occasion.

Adrien: Oh hey marinette.

Marinette (Dream mode): I got this for you

Adrien: A pottery wheel?

Marinette: NO! WRONG GIFT. (Yeets in trash and runs)

Adrien: Marinette's right, I need to throw out my feelings.

(Kagami pulls Marinette into car)

Kagami: Your attempts to seduce adrien are garbage

Marinette: The f***

Kagami: You need a practice boy, There are books about it (hides manga)

Marinette: Thats actually a really smart idea

________________________________________________________

Gabriel: Hey Son... are you okay?

Adrien: Yes father.

Gabriel: Okay good.

(Adrien leaves)

Gabriel: I am gonna treat myself for being such a caring father. (Places father of the year mug on standing desk)

Adrien: Okay I need to obliterate every billboard in Paris, the last thing I want to become is my father.

_________________________________________________________

Marinette: Oh look, its chat noir. Since he is so in love with Ladybug he would be the perfect person to practice on

Tikki: (the only one aware of the f***ed up situation) why is he here though

Marinette: Cats like rooftops. HERE KITTY KITTY

Chat noir: Marinette? Whats up?

Marinette: I need to confess to you

Chat noir: But I am not in love with anyone.

Marinette: (missing his internal crisis) Perfect I can use you as practice.

Chat noir: Okay

(Cue cringe confession)

Chat noir: That is cringe

Marinette: Really? You of all people calling it cringe?

Chat noir: (Proves why its cringe)

Marinette: Damn it, youre right, want to take a break.

Chat noir: Im down

(Cue not date that Andre ice cream man thinks is date)

Marinette: Heartfelt explanation on why its hard to confess

Chat noir: Heartfelt explanation on feelings for ladybug

(Umbrella scene)

Andre: as Ladynoir trash I MUST RECTIFY THIS INJUSTICE!

Glaciator: THIS IS A NOTP!

Chat noir: Marinette go hide.

(Cue car chase)

Chat noir: Ah Ladybug, my associate who I fight crime with

Ladybug: Okay I am going to need you to cut that s*** out right the f*** now.

Chat noir: But you said.

Ladybug: Look, I just want you to not push things when I tell you to stop. If its too much, I will let you know. If I say stop, you stop. Deal?

Chat noir: That is reasonable and probably should have been said 10 minutes ago, you know how the salters are

Ladybug: Just drive

(Glaciator is defeated)

__________________________________________________________

Adrien: So I learned I shouldnt give up on Ladybug, but I should probably ease up on the jokes about being shipped with her

Plagg: Probably

__________________________________________________________

Kagami: Marinette MY PLAN WAS BAD! I JUST FINISHED THE MANGA AND...

Marinette: Manga? Did you seriously use manga as a reference for real life.

Kagami:... Yes

Marinette: You sweet summer child, dont do that again. This is the real world not a manga or tv show

____________________________________________________________

BONUS:

Nathalie: Sir, a Mr. Kubdel is calling about a mug you stole

Gabriel: Tell him to f*** off

#ml #miraculous ladybug #glaciator 2 #gale poorly explains

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hamliet · 3 years

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Hello good morning, I really like your CFC ask so I come here with one after today’s chapter… especially because I don’t know how to feel in regard to 203 after HY’s reveal. What do you think? I like HY, I kinda had an inkling he either had something along the lines of the ErHa flower or he was undercover, but after 203 I discarded this idea, albeit not completely and now I’m kinda conflicted cause 203 was non-con and… yeah 😓 I trust you cause you’re very eloquent and can out into words what I can’t

Hi! So... my thoughts aren't super positive, unfortunately.

I'm really strongly reminded with this present arc of what happened during the final arc of the manga Tokyo Ghoul:re. Those of you who have been with me since then already know my Strong Opinions on it, but the short of it is that the author was under so much stress and pressure that he lost the ability to taste and smell, wasn't sleeping, and feared that if he took a break he'd never finish the story, so he rushed the ending. I've always held he did the right thing for himself. Please don't think I'd ever think otherwise. He's a genius writer of unique talent.

However, that doesn't make the story itself any better. The rushed ending was done in such a way that the main theme got utterly broken. The framing was contradictory chapter to chapter, and it ultimately took its powerful message and inverted it to something I personally found triggering and offensive. Even my personal feelings and triggers aside, it was objectively not well written.

I don't know what's going on in Meatbun's personal life, and I'm not gonna speculate. But the novel itself is a thematically contradictory mess at this point, and I don't know if it is salvageable. I'm inclined to say it's not.

This is a shame, because honestly I feel like Case File Compendium started off as by far the strongest of her novels, and up until the fight scene it pretty much kept impressing me. It took themes and concepts from 2ha and Yuwu but refined them, expounded on them in ways that felt fresh and unique, and offered powerful messages on redemption and the meaning of life. The story perfectly straddled the line between realism and cyberpunk/sci-fi.

That's kind of all gone now. It feels like everything plunged into an acid vat, and I mean colloquial acid.

The framing of 203 completely contradicts the entirety of the story before it.

So let's back up a bit. Framing is what tells you how to view a plot device, character choice, moment, etc. It indicates authorial intent in some ways. For the record, I can read pretty much anything if it's framed well. I am all for those enemies to lovers who try to kill each other, have killed a loved one, kidnap each other, whatever. But, it needs to be framed in a... morally defensible way for me to enjoy it personally. Meaning, it should be dealt with.

But, you say, the story might just not be for you, Hamliet! That's very true. It's all fine to write what you want and frame it how you want. However, it's also true that no story occurs in a vacuum, and the issues CFC explores (sexual assault) are very, very serious, and often triggering. Still, competing needs are a thing, and it's not morally wrong to read or write a story that frames it as less than a horror (it's a trope in romance, and LGBT+ media for a reason--gee, it's almost like fiction aimed at people who are societally conditioned to not express sexuality might find the concept of what's initially forced sexuality leading to hope and romance and new life resonating with them).

The problem with this in CFC is that it has made the incident in the 50s one of the inciting incidents of the novel. Now, the framing of the Club Scene actually bothered me way less than, in theory, the framing of QJJ's first sex scene between Yao Wenyu/Qiao Tianya did (it wasn't consensual, but it was not framed as a violation). However, the QJJ scene is not a major scene in the novel.

The Club Scene was always the big "can we come back from this?" moment. He Yu's own arc started when he realized how wrong he'd been to treat Xie Qingcheng so, and there was such regret and suffering--think of He Yu writing I'm sorry, XQC over and over and over again over a significant length of time. We even had a repeat where He Yu goes back to the club to self-destruct and Xie Qingcheng decides he's not afraid this time and marches in to haul He Yu out. It was framed as deathly serious.

Now that's gone. Listen, maybe 203 is in retrospect supposed to be read as dubcon, if Xie Qingcheng really did know all along--it could, because I don't read Chinese, so clearly I'm limited in my understanding. But, I haven't heard anything from people who do read Chinese that indicates it was readable as dubcon. And even if that is the intention, which is my understanding at the moment... it feels icky.

Why would you bait readers with a serious topic that was previously framed as such a serious moment? Why is that the topic about which to pull a sudden switcheroo? It's not a good twist. It doesn't add anything to the story that revealing it earlier would have not added. It just makes us feel confused. There is 0 narrative point to keeping Xie Qingcheng and He Yu's situations a secret other than to just get off on noncon p*rn but then whoops, don't worry, it's fine. It doesn't work with the previous framing wherein it was seriously dealt with and gut-wrenching to read.

It undermines the previous handling of the topic. It just feels cheap. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

#ask hamliet #cfc #bab #bing an ben #case file compendium #he yu #xie qingcheng #tw

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sugurus-slxt · 3 years

Note

Hello love! I have an emergency request if you have the time. May I request hc of Bokuto, Tendou and Kenma comforting their s/o after their cat suddenly passed away? I'm struggling to cope and in need of some comfort. If this request makes you uncomfortable or you don't have time, it's okay to ignore it!! Thank you in advance if you write it and have a great day or night!

Comforting Their S/O when their Pet Dies

A/Note: I’m really sorry about your cat, may they rest in peace. I hope this makes you feel better. I’ve never written comfort for death but I hope this is alright. I kind of tried to make it for pets in general f that’s ok but Kenma’s is specifically for a cat. I hope you have a great night or day as well. My condolences, Love <3 ~ Sar-chan.

Warning: Mentions of death and use of the word pussy (once)

Bokuto Kōtarō

Bokuto has you in his arms in a heartbeat once he’s near. If he is far he runs all the way to you because he knows you need the comfort.

He’d hold you on his lap letting you bury your face in his chest, while he strokes your and rubs comforting circles on your back.

Bokuto doesn’t mind if you stain his shirt with tears, he’ll let you cry but he might start crying too. His hair will deflate seeing you liked this, also because he adored your pet.

I’m sorry but I honestly think Bokuto is the type to accidentally say, “We’ll get you a new one.” If he sees you tear up more he’ll constantly apologise over and over.

Bokuto does have a good read of people and is very perceptive but I think he might call Akaashi to figure out how to help. Because it’s not that he doesn’t know he’s just torn between opting to distract you but he doesn’t want you to feel invalidated or letting you continuously wallow, considering it might help you release it all.

He is constantly reassuring you and telling you comforting things. He opts for a mixed idea because he does want you to release your emotions. Bokuto thinks it’s better that you do not bottle it up. But he doesn’t want you to keep crying because he hates seeing you like this.

----

“Baby?” he’d quietly call you to look up at him. “Hmmm,” you hummed in response, and he’d capture your chin tilting your head to look up at him. Bokuto wipes the tears from your eyes with his thumb and places a kiss on your forehead, “I know this is hard on you and I’m sorry about what I said earlier baby. I know they were irreplaceable and super special, I wasn’t thinking,” he apologised, his regret viable in his eyes. “I- it’s ok Bo. I- I k- know you didn’t mean it,” you tried to reassure him breaths shallow from crying. “Thank you, baby. I know you can’t control your emotions but you need to stop crying even if it’s for a little bit. You’ll get a headache and your eyes will hurt. how about we wash your face, clean that nose, and I’ll get you some ice cream?” he suggests hopefully, he just wants to help you.

“I’m sorry-,” you start off but he stops you. “Hey. Hey. Hey, there is no need for you to be sorry, this is completely valid, I just wanna help you. We don’t have to if you don’t want to baby,” he pulls you to his damp chest again stroking your hair. “Well um I don’t wanna get a headache either but I’m afraid I already have one,” you laugh a little, “I don’t mind ice cream, that would be nice but thank you. Thank you for everything.” He smiles at you so warmly, “This is nothing ok. I’m here for you always, now let’s get some yummy ice cream and we can talk if you want. I love you, ok. Always.”

Tendō Satori

Tendou definitely makes you chocolates, because he knows comfort food and sweets tend to help bring up a person’s moods but he won’t rush you to eat them as soon as he gets there.

He definitely is someone who tries to lighten the mood with humor; he’ll tell you jokes to make you laugh and smile but might just get it wrong.

Tendou wants you to express yourself but he also thinks this is an experience to make you stronger so he will definitely remind you of your strength and to remember that you had good times with your pet.

He’ll remind you that you’ll always carry that memory of them and as long as you remember you can keep their spirit alive.

He doesn’t want you to forget but he will try to help you accept it, he’ll brush your hair out of your face and wipe your tears then he’ll give you kisses and hugs to remind you that he’s going to be there for as long as you need.

Tendou will encourage you to talk about your feelings or get them out in a way you think best. He wants to help you move on because he knows holding on to pain doesn’t exactly do anyone good.

-----

“RIP that pussy ayyy,” he jokes causing you to giggle just a bit but not for long. He quickly sweeps you into his arms apologizing, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I was tryna make you laugh, and well it did kinda work,” you continue to sob into his chest, “I’m sorry I’ll stop and let you, for a while,” he just gently holds you, while whispering words of encouragement and love.

“Sweetheart, I know they meant a lot to you. I saw the way just petting them made your eyes light up but you have to be strong ok?” you nodded into his chest as combed his fingers through your hair. “I know it’s hard, all the moments and memories but you can’t forget. They were part of you, they weren’t just some pet and I know you know that. Hmmm,” he feels you clutch his shirt tighter. “I know but it hurts. I- I miss them,” you sob as he continues to play with your hair and places a kiss on the crown of your head. “That’s alright but this is an experience too, this moment is one in many to make you stronger than you already are, I know you can’t accept it now but you have to, ok. But take your time. How bout we eat some chocolate hmm?” he asks looking down at you. “Mmmmk but can we maybe watch a movie? I kinda want to ease my mind but I will talk about it later. Th-,” you go to thank him but he stops you. “No need sweetheart, I’m here for you and I’m honestly sorry about the joke but admit it, was kinda funny,” he sees you smile a little as he holds as chocolate up to your mouth.

Kenma Kozume (cat specified)

Kenma is straight forward and he will lay the facts on you as they are.

Although I think at first he’d not know what to do, maybe he’ll awkwardly pull you into a hug and offer a short it's ok, I’m here.

He will however distract you and try to keep you occupied whether it's video games, a movie, a new anime, or manga for you to read.

Kenma will probably ask his followers and subscribers to send you love and support, he thinks it's best he try to surround you with positive energy.

He’ll invite over your friends and maybe the team to help, he wants to brighten your mood and he’s sure Kuroo will say something dumb enough to make you laugh.

What he doesn’t account for is Kuroo making him wear cat ears and parading him around as your new cat.

-----

“I invited the guys over umm I don’t know if that’ll help. If you want them to go back I’ll tell them,” he asks looking at you unsure. You shake your head no, as you wipe unshed tears and blow your leaky nose, just as you finish the front door open. Lev rushes in and pulls you into a hug lifting you off the floor, and Yaku scolds him to put you down. All of them have sat you down and shower you in hugs while giving their condolences. Kuroo and Kenma are nowhere in sight and it causes you to mix feelings of worry into your sadness. Lev jokes about them being cats and maybe they’ll see him in heaven because of some weird bond causing your expression to fall and your front to fall. Suddenly Kuroo voice rings out, “I present to you, Kenma.”

Kenma walks out with a pout and then you notice the cat ears, the belled collar, and the tail, honestly you thought this funny. But your brain was clouded and you weren’t sure if to laugh or cry and you kind of ended up doing both, Kenma rushes over to you taking you into his arms, “Kuroo you made her cry again,” he scolds Kuroo who now has a look of regret gracing his features “Hey baby, it's ok I’m sorry. I’ll kill Kuroo’s cat in Minecraft later, it’ll kinda be even.” He rubs your back as Yaku scolds Kuroo . When you finally found your bearing, “Do- Don’t kill his cat. He’ll be sad like me, but he did make me laugh. I was kinda laugh-crying. You look cute and I know I can’t do anything about my cat dying Ken. It just hurts and I know your tired your best earlier. Damn, I still feel like crying but thank you all for this. Thank you Kenma,” you say burying your face into his chest. Kenma smiles and everyone starts pointing it out only for him to shout at them yet again.

I hope this helped :) I'm sorry if it didn't come out the way you'd hope.

If you liked my writing, maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee?

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nyxxon · 4 years

Text

I'm Glad You're Okay (Bakugou Katsuki)

» Minor Manga spoilers (Ch.285 and Ch. 298). It's kind of vague, but probably still spoil-worthy given it's somewhat the scenario—if you aren't caught up (at least with those chapters), I still recommend skipping it unless you don't mind some summary.

It had been a few days since you had been at the hospital��surprisingly being excused to stay for such an extended period—as you waited for Bakugou to wake up from his injuries.

Todoroki had given you a small rundown of what happened when you had gone by his room to check on him along with some of the news outlets that had covered the big fight that had happened involving Endeavor, Todoroki, Midoriya, Bakugou, and many others as they had gone head-on against Shigaraki and the other League of Villains or now more commonly known as the "Paranormal Liberation Front."

No one had come out unscathed. Everyone involved, even the villains so you heard, had a small injury or another; however, only Midoriya and Bakugou had yet to awaken from the fight among the hero side of it—the ones you cared for anyway.

With that said, Midoriya was by far hurt the worse out of the three males, the doctors were unsure when or even if he would even wake up given his state. Visitation with him was also off-limits besides a handful of people.

Todoroki was fine in general though he was still knocked up pretty badly, having bandages all around his body in almost every area. He had been the only one you were allowed to see when you first arrived since the other two males had been in extensive care at the time.

Lastly and second-worst off between the three: Bakugou.

According to Todoroki, Bakugou had jumped in front of Midoriya—taking a hit originally meant for him. He had been horribly injured . . . pierced through the stomach to be more exact.

But even so, he had eventually been removed from the extensive care unit and brought into a room that you were able to visit freely since it seemed he had shown signs of high recovery which you were heavily thankful for.

With that said, the doctors had said he should at least wake up sooner or later though they were unsure when exactly. So here you were, currently patiently waiting for him—your boyfriend—to do just that . . .

You hadn't left his side since given free access to his room.

Nor had you eaten—not that you were hungry given the situation.

You hadn't even slept either!

Your eyes were growing heavier and heavier as the days passed by. You were even getting noticeable dark bags underneath them.

But you couldn't sleep . . .

You had to be there when he woke up—you just had to.

You tiredly glanced up at Bakugou, his face covered with an oxygen mask, his chest rising and falling at steady intervals. Similar to Todoroki, he was also covered in bandages—mainly his arms and you were sure his stomach.

Your hand subconsciously squeezing his own as you saw the pitiful state he was in albeit he looked just a tad bit better than the first time you had seen him.

Maybe a few minutes wouldn't hurt though . . . you'd just close your eyes for a little while and be right back up to resume your waiting.

Yeah . . . that sounded like a good plan.

With that in mind, you leaned over and laid your head down on the edge of the hospital bed—your hand still gripping his own—before slowly shut your eyes, instantly being grasped by the much-needed sleep you should have been getting the past few days.

However, the few minutes planned had soon turned into a few hours. And within the few hours, you still had yet to wake up while continuing to snooze away—deeply one might add. But because of this, you failed to notice or be alarmed by the slight stirring beside you . . .

Slowly opening his eyes, it took Bakugou a minute to adjust to the glaring white bright light. His eyes soon widened as he jolted up, a searing pain shooting through his abdomen as he removed the mask from his face with his free hand—his other one still clasped with yours though he had yet to take notice of you yet.

"Ouch!" He began to look around, taking notice of him being in the hospital, "What the–" But he stopped his words once his eyes landed on your sleeping form.

His eyes widened slightly as he finally took notice of your hand clasping his bandaged one. He could tell you were asleep. He wondered how long you had been waiting. With that said, he wondered how long he had been here. But from the dark circles under your eyes still that he could see, he didn't doubt it had been a bit.

But why the hell was he here?

With that in mind, he looked down at his stomach for a moment before placing his free hand over it. He instantly winced and hissed before quickly moving his hand away as he furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes.

That was right . . .

Slowly, the events that took place began to flood his mind:

Him, Endeavor, Todoroki, Deku, and other heroes had been facing that head of the original "League of Villains," Shigaraki. It had been a long and grueling one, too. Every single one of them had gotten pretty knocked about through the entire fight.

The majority of the meat of the fight was a bit foggy in his mind still, though he had the gist of it. It had been a struggle, that was for certain if the short memories that passed through his mind had anything to say about it.

He looked back down at his stomach. But the events that had led him to his current situation . . .

His . . . his body had acted on its own. It was like he had zero control when he had jumped up and pushed Deku out of the way when the tendrils had originally meant to course through his form—not him.

His brows twitched before he glanced back over where you were still asleep, having not even moved an inch and just stared over at you. It was obvious you had most likely been here the whole time he had, not that he expected any less of you.

"Hey." He slowly released his hand from your own—which wasn't hard to do—while he soon ran it through your (hair color) locks.

The action caused you to stir as you clenched your eyes tighter before they reluctantly began to open, the world around you a bit blurry as you didn't fully open them right away because of the light. But you managed to catch a slightly unfocused and blurry image of a person sitting up in the bed in front of you.

"Katsuki . . ." You sleepily muttered as you lifted your head up a bit, squinting your eyes still—it seemed you were still a bit groggy.

He kept his hand on top of your head, "Hey, idiot . . ."

You just stared at him for a moment, still trying to process your surroundings. But it didn't take much longer as your eyes began to widen and you instantly stood straight up causing him to instinctively retreat his hand.

"Katsuki, you're awake!" Out of instinct, you flung yourself at him—your eyes squeezing shut as tears pricked the corner of your eyes.

His eyes widened, having not expected you to get so excited, "W-Wai–"

But his words came too late as you soon made it on the bed with him and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He instantly groaned in pain from the force and tightness of your hold.

"Oh!" Your eyes widened, having forgotten about what Todoroki had said to you about what happened to him, before letting go of him and moving a bit back though you stayed on the bed beside him, "I-I'm sorry!"

He narrowed his eyes at you though there was pain evident on his face, "B-Be more fucking careful!"

You bit your bottom lip as you looked down, "Sorry, I forgot. B-But . . ." You looked back up at him, your lips forming into a quivering smile, "I'm . . . I'm just so happy to see that you're awake."

As much as Bakugou would like to be mad at you, he just fucking couldn't. You were his girlfriend after all. So you got a bit of leeway with some of your actions.

He sighed before straightening himself back up, "How . . . fucking long?"

You frowned as you answered, "Two days."

"Two days . . ." He repeated your words lowly as he looked to the side and narrowed his eyes, "Where..?" It wasn't that he didn't know where, but he wanted to know the specifics.

"Central Hospital."

He turned his gaze back to you, "What about Deku, Todoroki, Endeavor, and Aizawa..? What happened to everyone?"

"W-Well . . ." You knitted your brows as you swallowed.

With that, you began to explain everyone's current conditions from what you had managed to get from Todoroki. Bakugou listened intently to every word so he could fill in some of the missing points of his memories and the after-effects he had no possible way of knowing.

"Tch. So they're unsure if Deku will wake up . . ." Bakugou squeezed the sheet of the bed.

"That's what I heard."

"That idiot better not fucking die or I'll fucking ki–!" But he didn't manage to finish his sentence as he winced from the pain shooting through him.

"I-I'm sure Midoriya will be fine . . . but y-you need to calm down!" You placed your hand on his arm as you leaned closer to him, "You should be getting rest."

"I already fucking have, for two days!" He argued.

"It's not enough, you're still hurt!"

"You're the one who should be getting some fucking rest, idiot."

You blinked as a bead of sweat appeared on your cheek, "Huh..? What do yo–" You soon let out a yelp as Bakugou gripped your arm and pulled you down with and against him as he laid down. Your face started to warm at the closeness, "Katsuki, w-wha–"

"You've probably been here the whole fucking time."

"W-Well, yes . . ." You grasped his hand and encased it with both of yours—feeling the warmness that naturally radiated from them because of his quirk, "But I just wanted to be here when you . . . when you woke up. I-I was so worried about you." Your grip tightened on his hand.

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "Why do you always get so damn mushy?" He groaned though his hand squeezed yours back, signaling he acknowledged and appreciated your worry.

"Because I love you."

"Tch." His cheeks warmed at your words, "Just get some damn rest, idiot."

You hummed as you pondered his words before pressing a bit closer to him, "I am a bit tired." You admitted.

"That's what I fucking thought."

"Also . . ."

"What?" He raised a brow.

"Were you about to say if Midoriya died, you'd kill him?"

"Yeah?"

"Well . . . I don't think that'd work."

"Huh?" He blinked a few times until he realized what you meant and narrowed his eyes at the ceiling before clicking his tongue, "Just shut up and go to fucking sleep."

You gave a small and weak smile even though he couldn't see it as you snuggled even closer to him while closing your eyes, "I'm glad you're okay . . ." You mumbled against him before sleep overtook you—the room becoming silent aside from the sound of your soft breathing.

Bakugou looked down at the top of your head, a frown gracing his features. He knew you had been fucking exhausted. But he only hoped you'd get some much-needed sleep before the class 1-A calvary—that was destined to soon come—popped up.

With that said, he was—as much as he hated to admit it—worried for Deku for the fact that the doctors were unsure he'd even wake up from the injuries he had sustained from the fight.

But for now, he'd stop worrying about the things he couldn't fully control and spend this temporarily quiet moment with you in his arms . . .

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physicalturian · 3 years

Text

[G] Gentle summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader - Part 8

[Contains spoilers from the movie, and the manga] [No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Words : 8662

Archive of our own

Warning : mention of suicide (follows the manga, you might know which one) mention of fear of dying

— Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

On the morning following the moving night I had with Rengoku, we had to wake up early to train but managed to have breakfast together. Everything seemed different and yet, nothing had changed. Everyone around us was still training, diligently so, never stopping until they would fall exhausted on the ground. People would come and go from the place to get ready under different Pillars than those who had stayed at the Butterfly estate. Rengoku and I were the starting point of the training, we were the ones to get everyone slowly acclimated to the fighting, but it was only a matter of time before they were sent to coach under Uzui to better their stamina. Oh, and the look of pure horror on their faces when they would return from those days of training, face long and muscles sore.

Those who would train with Gyomei were too far away to return to this estate and would stay at a nearby place, along with recruits that would train with Mitsuri. More traumatized trainees would come back from Obanai’s training, their gaze devoid of any emotions as they’d shiver at the mere mention of the Pillar in question. I had heard his method was drastic to say the least, mortifying if I listened to those who would return to the mansion at the end of the day. On the first day I had returned, I realized that this was no simple training; something was at stake, they had to improve, they hadto get better by the end of this or they would not last a fight with Muzan and his remaining henchmen.

Coming back to reality, I looked at Rengoku and asked with a bit of worry laced in my voice, “Is there a reason why the training is so intense this year? I thought Pillars were only supposed to train those who would inherit their will?” I had asked, seated right next to a very awake man while I was still half-sleep, shivers running through my body from the cold of having left the futon only minutes ago. “Ah yes! Well, to start, if we defeat Muzan, there will be no need for Pillars anymore.” He said with a big smile, my heart clenched in my chest at the mention of the famous demon we had been training to defeat for too long already. “Why, yes… But it seems like some very intense training. Not that I mind, we could all use some, but it also seems a lot different.” I replied, observing the recruits outside. “At the swordsmith village, something unbelievable happened, we are trying to reproduce that.” He hummed, focusing on his food, still smiling.

Nudging Rengoku’s elbow, I gestured for him to explain. Realizing he had forgotten to continue, he nodded, took my hand and scooted closer, his knee touching mine as he proceeded to explain all about the mark they had discovered; how Tanjirou had been the first one among them on which it had appeared, followed by Muichiro and Mitsuri. He added that when they returned from the village they had a meeting, but he could not attend it due to the state he was in; he was told they had decided to reproduce the conditions in which the mark appeared. “Giyuu told me young Tokito was the only one who was able to properly explain what had happened.” He said happily while taking another bite of his food—as he did so, his hand slid to my thigh and he absent-mindedly caressed it. “Young Tanjirou and Mitsuri lacked a way with words, and I heard it angered Sanemi, but they still managed to agree unanimously on the course of action to take, which was to work hard to reproduce those conditions.” He finished, nodding to himself.

Kyojuro tried to recall what else was important to say, but I interrupted him by leaning over, my hands resting on his opposite thigh while I looked in the court in shock. “Kyo- Kyo-” I hit his knee a few times, “The demon girl is in the sun! She shouldn’t-“ Sprinting out of the room, I crossed the veranda and rushed to her side. My bare feet hit the pebbles and grass full force, making me wince at each step. Upon reaching her side quicker than I expected, I took off my haori in panic and threw it on her. Both girls that accompanied her looked in confusion and waited a moment, so did I as I tried to catch my breath. “Get her back inside! Why are you letting her-“ Smiling in the most adorable way, the demon girl said my name and lifted the haori from her head to grin, “Thank you!” She seemed to be stammering, clearly struggling to speak but she continued, “I can walk—in the sun.” She pointed at the sky, in case I hadn’t understood her.

I stood there in awe and hesitantly removed the haori from her form, still frowning in confusion. Not knowing what to say, I stood in front of her, unmoving; she did not seem bothered and waited for me to ask anything or to leave, she was patient. “How?” I let out under my breath, my gaze never leaving her. Never in my years as a slayer had I seen this happen, it could change so much.

A hand on my shoulder startled me, a gasp leaving my lips. I recognized the feeling of the hand before turning around to look at the person. Rengoku slid his hand to rest it on my waist and pulled me closer, smiling. “Nezuko can now walk in the sun, she sacrificed herself for the village and for some reason, well…” He explained confidently, gesturing at her smiling face that he mirrored gladly. The two girls accompanying Nezuko tried to usher her away, but before leaving, the miraculous demon girl grabbed my hand and bowed, thanking me again before leaving. I smiled, unsure and embarrassed at my actions then bid her goodbye. “It does not make sense…” I muttered.

It made Rengoku laugh fully while he guided us back inside, “Do not worry, I do not understand either. I am simply very happy that young Tanjirou’s sister is getting better. His will to find a remedy to her condition is doing miracles, is it not?” He asked, his eyes ever so wide and bright. Staring back at him, for a moment I forgot what we were talking about and simply got lost in his beautiful eyes; I couldn’t help myself from cradling his face and kissing his cheek lovingly. “I missed your laugh, and your smile.” He beamed, flustered and happy, and cradled my face back to kiss my lips with just as much love, if not more. “So did I, my love. That does not mean I will go easy on you when we are training the recruits.” He winked before kissing my forehead and sitting back down to finish eating.

Once we were done eating, we went to train the recruits. It was good to be distracted for most of the day, only doing what your body told you to, which was to fight back. Since none of the present recruits of Rengoku’s had been able to hit him, he told them that if they could land a hit on me, he'd give them a chance to strike him. They were fueled up for some reason, probably thinking it would be easy, but I did not have that teacher aura Kyojuro had. I felt no regrets in tackling them to the ground when they did not think and would act rashly. It made their determination falter each time, only Rengoku’s words could cheer them up, “Come on, get up and fight!” he would say, or even, “Don’t back down in front of an obstacle! They hinder your path to toughen you up, stand tall and try again!” He indeed had a way with words and was the only reason the trainees still had hope, he kept their morale up. I admired him for doing so much for all of us.

I made sure to talk about it to him on that evening when we had eaten and were now walking outside under the stars, just like our first evening. “Kyo?” He perked up at his name, his hand tightening around mine with a hum echoing from his throat inquisitively. “Thank you, for being…” cheerful? Hopeful? Determined? Optimistic to a fault? “You. For being you. You are probably the sole reason those recruits think there is hope.” I said confidently, making him huff a laugh. He brought me closer, his steps slowly coming to a stop as he pulled me against him, his back now resting against the wall. “We are all working hard, every Pillar has hope we will make it through. Give them some credit, my dearest.” He said with a beautiful smile. I felt my cheeks heat up and shook my head, “I suppose you are right, I have yet to see them train them,” I started, placing my hand on the fabric on his chest where he delicately slid it under his kimono and onto his chest, a stupid smile adorning his features.

Ignoring his playfulness, I added, “I was talking to myself. Hearing you be so determined is getting to me, in more ways than one but mostly…” I trailed off, my eyes meeting his again. I removed the patch from his left eye and looked at both of them, smiling. “It seems you have managed to give me hope, and I cannot say it does not scare me.” Blinking in surprise, his eyes widened before glimmering with pure happiness. His hands that were resting on my lower back brought me in a tight hug that I returned in no time, “Fear is inevitable, but we have to work with it not against it. If it paralyzes you, find someone that will push you to take that one step, if it makes you lose your determination, find someone that will lend you their strength. And if it makes you lose yourself, then I’ll find you without failing.” He whispered, only I was meant to hear this, it was not a secret of any sort but that intimacy we had was not to be shared with the world. It was him and I, at this very moment it was just us, no one else around, we were alone together.

Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I felt my heart soar in reassurance and pure fear, a mix I could not get rid of no matter how hard I tried. Each passing moment spent with him made this entire fight scarier, I dreaded losing him, but I could not doubt his skills, and hearing him talk like that made me believe. “That way with words never disappears, does it…” I mumbled jokingly against his chest, the rumble of his laugh sending warmth coursing through my body. “Well, I would not want to lose it if we were to pair up to be great entertainers once this is all over.” He beamed; the idea I had thrown at him the night prior seemed to have stuck in his head. All while caressing my back, Kyojuro continued, slowly lowering us to sit on the parquet outside. “Since we both agree I am good with words, here are a few suggestions of very affectionate names you can call me,” His tone was light and humorous, but I knew he wanted to be called something and not just Kyo like I had found myself in the habit of doing a lot recently.

“My love seems to be obvious enough, dear and dearest are definitely agreeable,” He nodded, pondering for more, I looked up from kneeling between his legs and felt my lips curl into a smile as he continued, “My heart, definitely love that one-“ Seeing my face, his expression was suddenly flustered, and he continued a bit more quickly, “I do not mind if you prefer to call me Kyo! I am simply throwing ideas-“ “Sunshine?” I cut him off, grinning. “Would that be alright? After all, you are like the sun, warm, bright and your smile does brighten my day. I would say it is suitable.”

He turned shy, for a moment I had rendered him mute. The first time I had a very silent Rengoku in front of me was on that beautiful gentle summer night with his gaze locked on mine. The smile on his face was growing silently as he looked at me with an emotion I could not quite decipher, but he got himself together fast and leaned over enthusiastically, making me lean back in surprise, his face was now almost touching mine, “I love it. I love you, I love your idea, say it again!” he breathed a small “please” without ever looking away. Knowing that I had all his attention, I could not help but feel my body heat up, there was no reason to feel embarrassed, but I still suddenly felt awkward. “Sunshine, would you please kiss me?” I said softly, not wanting to wake everyone up. We were outside and seeing where we had walked, I believe we were outside Uzui’s room.

Clasping his hands on my cheeks, he kissed me once, twice, three times, then kissed my forehead, my cheekbones, I had to stop him. “Enough, enough, sunshine-“ “Say it again, louder! It is such a sweet name, I do not believe I will ever get enough of it, say it again.” He pressed in such a cute way, his hands wandering to mine as he helped me stand up while doing it himself. Chuckling, I shook my head and whispered back, “No, we should head back and get some sleep. I would not want to wake everyone up.” I said with another huffed laugh when his expression fell and he pouted innocently, it left his face when Uzui slid his door open and gave us an angry look, “I’m not in the mood to hear you two be cute and shit, go the fuck to sleep.” His speech was slurred, his hair disheveled, he looked different, but he clearly sounded like his usual self, grumpy and scolding.

Laughing, Rengoku nodded and bowed him goodnight before pushing him back inside and closing the door, he did not miss the opportunity to say a bit louder and playfully, teasingly, “What a grumpy old man, no wonder he retired-“ “I will gut you, Ren!” Uzui’s grumble echoed when the door slid open brusquely before we rushed back to our room, stupid giggles muffled in our mouths as we tried to keep in it while running. We held back until we reached the bedroom where we burst out laughing, I had to shush Kyojuro seeing how his face was turning redder from laughter, he fell to his knees still laughing. I knelt in front of him and covered his mouth, still chuckling myself, albeit more discreetly. “Stop, you are impossible— breathe through your nose you foolish man.” I told him with a smile, shaking my head when he wasn’t stopping. I waited for him to calm down to free his mouth and see how out of breath he was from his fit of laughter.

“Feeling impish tonight, are we?” I asked when he had calmed down and was now sitting properly in front of me. With a beautiful, childish smile, he nodded, “He interrupted our moment, I do believe some payback was due.” He said jokingly before leading us to the futons we had placed next to one another to have enough space for the two of us. “Well, I could have done without running more after such a long day, you are lucky you have a pretty face. It must have saved you from a lot of trouble during your childhood.” I said lightly. Bringing my pillow next to Rengoku’s, I settled comfortably; for a moment I hesitated laying my hand on his stomach to cuddle up to him, he grabbed my hand and placed it on him wordlessly and replied, “If you like my pretty face, you should see Senjurou’s! He is the cutest little brother—he would like to become a swordsman!” “Like his big brother? It is understandable, you must be quite the role model.”

There was a short pause, “He likes to help people, and I suppose all he has known is my father and I being swordsmen… However, I believe he would make a great healer, I wish he could see things my way.” Humming pensively, I pondered his words, perhaps just as he was. Senjurou probably wanted to take down demons, that’s all he has heard his entire life so I said, “If we take down Muzan, there will be no need for him to learn swordsmanship.” The hand resting on my waist gripped it even tighter when Rengoku turned his face to look at me from an odd angle, I could see his smile even like that. “You are right!” he muttered it again, then added, “We will change things, no matter what.” He said, determined. I held back my darker thoughts, not liking the words he had spoken. I knew him, his will and his determination knew no bounds, I was aware he was ready to sacrifice his life if it meant winning, and that is the exact reason why I did not want to think about it.

If the opportunity to sacrifice himself does not show, he will not die… I will make sure of that.

We talked more about Senjurou afterwards, falling asleep quite fast.

After that first day, a routine had settled. In the morning we would wake up at ungodly hours and have a peaceful breakfast—or as peaceful as it can be with the older Shinazugawa brother yelling at his pupils. Once we were done, we would go to the open court and see some of our recruits going to train with a different Pillar once they had reached the goal set for them. It was nice to be busy the entire day, it cleared the mind somehow by filling it with tasks easy to manage. Breaks were given during training, it allowed me to spend some relaxing time with Kyojuro. It would not always be quiet, recruits would sometimes come in and ask questions, forcing us to be more discreet in our display of affection to not make them feel awkward. A few times I was the one called away from training, by the Pillars that were already here at the mansion to try to have me awaken the mark, each time was in vain.

The time I had been told that someone had come to visit and I had to bring her to Master Ubuyashiki was the first time I had seen her and got caught off guard when I understood she was a demon. I had to walk with her alone through the forest to reach the estate in which the Master was resting. He had decided to lay far away from us, to keep the worry away. My guard was back up quite quickly, but I greeted her nonetheless and brought her to the room of the young Master. I had never seen the state he was in until now, it broke my heart to see him so incapacitated; his condition had worsened, and I knew from my gut’s feeling that he would not last long. Both the demon woman—I later learned her name was Tamayo—and I were conveyed to come nearer. Following the Master’s orders, we shuffled closer and sat by his side. He had said my name first, taking my hand in his and smiling kindly. I could not see his eyes because they were bandaged, but I knew how kind his eyes were, how gentle the young man was, and I felt it in how warm his hands were.

“I can feel your uncertainty my child, your aura is disturbed. So is your heart?” It felt like a déjà-vu to hear someone mention my troubled aura. The man depended on more than his eyesight to read people, just like Gyomei did, but I was always amazed at how good he was at it. Glancing at Tamayo, I felt a bit shy having this conversation with Master Ubuyashiki with her there, but I hummed, “Do not trouble yourself, I am more than focused on training and fighting, I will not falter on the battlefield.” I stated, determined. His delicate laugh echoed, it slowly turned into a cough; Nichika, who had been by his side the entire time, helped him sit up and handed him a handkerchief. Drinking some water after his coughing fit seemed to have helped a bit, at least enough for him to smile kindly and say, “Reliable as always. Perhaps you should be focused on getting your mind off things? I am certain someone would be more than willing to help distract you…” He trailed off playfully.

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I gave him a look of surprise, knowing full well he was being mischievous on purpose. My delayed response made him smile. “Young Master, I am sure you have more important things to do than worry about my... romantic affairs." I replied diplomatically, still at loss as to why he would mention Rengoku. The blind man chuckled once more, “I have important matters to attend to, indeed, however I care about the wellbeing of all my children.” He explained, ever so caring. I took a moment to ponder, perhaps too long since he added on a humorous note that had an underlying serious tone, “Would you indulge in a dying man's curiosity?” Gasping silently, I felt a knot form in my throat and held back from saying “You are not dying” out of despair. He was, we had been told since the very beginning he would not live long, but being reminded of it truly stomped my mood for a short moment.

“Hopefully I’ll satisfy your curiosity enough to bring you back.” I said playfully, albeit sadly too. He would not want us to treat him differently, and he was very close to us in age after all; I was allowed to be slightly playful. With that, I proceeded to tell him about everything. Tamayo even partook in the conversation; I was surprised to see how kind she was and how knowledgeable too. Calling the both of us together was odd, but seeing how the Master and Tamayo got along I suppose he needed some company. At first that was what I thought, yes, until he dismissed me once we were done, and his expression turned more stern when he looked back at Tamayo. She was the important matter he had to attend to, she had an important part to play in this fight and he had to make sure she was ready.

After that meeting, I returned to my lover and tried to distract my darkening mind. I had a hard time getting rid of the negative thoughts that plagued it, but being with him helped; it was easier to forget about everything when he started gushing about Tanjirou’s prowess in training, he was passing all the tests at an incredible speed which amazed more than one.

That was added to the routine, I could never emphasize enough how much I needed those relaxing moments in the evening when we would talk absent-mindedly about everything and anything as if everything was normal. As if an inevitable death was not coming, as if we were sure we had a tomorrow after the final fight.

Days went by fast; the routine was only broken a few times. One time when one of the swordsmiths had made its way to the estate with a well-wrapped sword in hand, I rushed to their side and knew from the determined steps and the mask who it was. “Hotaru, to what do we owe the pleasure of-“ “What else but a sword? I can’t believe how easy it is for all of you to ruin the beautiful swords we make. Do you not realize the amount of time put into making those beauties!?” He grumbled, as usual. Ignoring his complaints, I offered to bring the sword to the one who needed it, but he pulled back and said he would do it himself, adding “There is no way your brute hands are touching this masterpiece, get me the Fire Pillar, he’s the birdbrain who broke his sword.” Tilting my head to the side, I tried to recollect when it could have happened and felt very defensive suddenly. “I do believe that birdbrain took the most damage when your village got attacked, did he not?” I stood tall in front of the strong man, knowing full well he could take me down too, but I did not budge.

“Are you a guard dog or something? Just get me the Fire Pillar—you know what, I’ll get him myself.” He pushed me aside to try and find Rengoku himself; instead, both of us bumped into the man in question when I tried to grab him to stop him from walking away. An annoyed sound escaped Hotaru, he was very close to throwing a fit when he saw the man in front of him, his posture straightening as he bowed and handed the sword with his arms extended in front of him. “Do not break it this time.” He simply said. Kyojuro met that remark with laughter, he was careful in removing the cloth and grabbing it before skillfully twirling it around once he had stepped back. “It is so much lighter! Thank you so much-“ “Don’t be sweet, look at the hilt, you better thank me for that.” Doing as he was told, Rengoku paid attention to the hilt that I now noticed had changed. It was still a vibrant color, but it was a different shape.

Hotaru handed the old hilt to Rengoku, “I kept it since you seem like the sentimental type-“ the grumpy man was interrupted by the lion-like man’s tight hug after he had sheathed his sword away. The entire interaction was painful to see, the swordsmith had to push away from Rengoku’s tight hug with brute force; even if I could not see his face, I felt like he did not mind, if he had he would have beaten the blond up. “Do you know how hard it was to make that hilt?”

I interrupted, “A poppy? It seems simple enough.” “Oh, it’s not hard, but when the wounded, half-asleep idiot,” He smacked Rengoku on the top of the head, making the younger man wince, “...who requested it only described it as the red one, the flower at the top of the hill, well, it makes the entire process harder.” Upon hearing his words, I met Kyojuro’s gaze and felt my cheeks heat up, but I held back from speaking. Hotaru did not. His eyes jumped from my lover to me, at least that is what I think they were doing since all I could see was his face going from the Fire Pillar to me, “I’ll be taking my leave,” he said awkwardly, all the anger having left his voice suddenly. He grabbed Ren by the collar and brought him close to whisper something I could not hear before bowing and bidding us farewell.

Once he was gone, I joined Rengoku’s side and asked, “Why did you choose a poppy?” I had a feeling I knew why, yet I could not bring myself to assume it was about me. “Why do you think, songbird?” a stupid smile made its way to my lips, I knew it, but I could not stop it. Nor could I stop myself from touching the hilt of the sword, taking a good look at it instead of looking at Kyojuro. “It is the flower you gave me at the fireworks-“ “The first flower, I plan on giving you many more! But you are very correct.” He said happily, tilting my head up to look at him before kissing me softly. I kissed him back longingly then broke the kiss, my hands having slipped to his shoulders without me realizing it. “It is a coincidence too, but the meaning of poppies is dreams, luxury, and other things too. But the most important thing is!” He grinned and leaned over, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear, “That you are a dream come true and definitely all I can dream of.”

He pecked my cheek gently, looking at me with the proudest expression that had ever crossed his face. “Smugness is a fine look on you, I have yet to decide if it was smooth or corny.” I smirked, bumping his shoulder with mine to signal we should return to the recruits who had not stopped working. Looking at Rengoku who was now walking behind me, I thought all the sweet things he would do or say made me swoon without exception. It was all those small things that made me want to have all of him. I held back of course, as hard as it was, but it was good practice to act more… civilized, instead of displaying affection openly in front of everyone.

Time went on as usual afterwards, the trainees were improving greatly. Not all of them had the same pace, some were slower and others, like Tanjirou and Inosuke, surprised all of us with the speed at which they were improving. I found some resemblance between Genya’s and Tanjirou’s mindset, not exactly the same but something similar at least. I had not talked enough with Inosuke to understand what his motive was, but I knew both Genya and Tanjirou wanted to protect the one they loved. The birthmark boy was determined to find a cure for his sister, while Genya was dead set on proving Sanemi he was worthy. It always pained me to see how Sanemi treated his brother, even after the many attempts the latter did to show he was not useless.

As if I had manifested it, while walking back to the room I shared with Rengoku, I was thrown on the ground when a body hit mine. I let out a grunt, but did not have time to complain before the body moved from my form, and I was able to move the door that had been kicked from its position and had landed on the ground. The soft voice of Tanjirou then echoed, “Stop this!” What is going on? I thought as I observed without interrupting, stepping back to let them talk. Listening more, it seemed like Sanemi was using brute force once again to make Genya understand he should leave the corps. There was no need for me to interrupt, seeing how Tanjirou was defending Genya beautifully, but while his words were deep and meaningful, Sanemi did not do emotional.

He did violence. It’s all he knew. And it showed when the brunette’s words reached him enough to annoy him, his usual frown was deepened into a scowl. Only seconds after, he was grabbing him by the throat and lifting him from the ground. “I’ll incapacitate you first, if not him.” He gritted through his teeth; I saw Zenitsu grab Genya’s hand before running away with him while the recruits around stared in shock. I was the first one to stand up, they followed my motion and jumped on him to stop him from attacking Tanjirou; there was nothing much he could do against all the recruits, so he let go of the brunette. Once the latter was out of sight, I ordered all the trainees to leave and was left with a seething Sanemi. Without wasting much time, I dropped my haori and tied my sleeves out of the way. “You utter moron, when will you learn that it is not the proper way to express your affection to your brother?” I spat.

He scoffed, pulling out his sword—I did the same; it was different than the training in the dojo because this time he was filled with ire. “What affection? I don’t have a brother.” “Then why do you care if he is in the corps?” I asked, frowning. He ran at me with full speed and as usual, a dance ensued. Dodging, slashing, dodging, kicking, those were the steps, the tempo was set erratically by his thoughtless actions, completely letting the frustration lead. “You’re always so fucking nosy, let me deal with my shit.” He grunted; I had a hard time believing his constant nonchalance. If I took a good look at him, I could see the worry painted in his eyes, how he hated the choices his brother made, how he wished he could do something. But being unable to do anything made him react in the most idiotic ways.

“It stops being your shit the moment you start harming the people you’re supposed to train, understood?” I said sternly. His gaze turned into a mocking one as he slashed my way again, “I don’t see how that’s your problem, you’re not a Pillar, you’re not that great at fighting, you’re nothing, you have nothing to do-“ “Oh, I did not know we were going down the petty road.” I stated before blocking his hit, I tried to grip his hand and open it to make him drop his sword, but he held tight and scoffed. I continued, “You are being so reckless and immature. It is surprising, even coming from you.” His words echoed in the back of my head, but I fought them by wording more positive thoughts out loud, with a scoff, “I thought it above you to use your status as a show of power, do you not realize I am still standing even after all your attacks?” Those were the wrong words to speak. His stance changed drastically, I quickly understood he was serious now and not just letting the steam out.

There was no helping the nervous giggle that escaped my lips. He was not thinking at all, he was blinded by rage he had built up on his own, he was running at me like a fool, clearly not caring if he got hit by my sword. The best thing I could do was twirl my sword around so that the hilt would hit him instead of the blade. Only seconds after, upon impact I was thrown to the ground. The tip of his sword was grazing my throat, I did not dare breathe. “Shut your fucking mouth, fuck you’re annoying, can’t you keep your head down and-“ “Sanemi, my friend, it’s enough.” The grey-haired man did not glance at the voice that was heard, I did not dare look either in fear he would act during that split second and kill me or perhaps because I just wanted to keep an eye on him.

“Drop the sword, my friend.” Rengoku’s gentle yet stern voice reached my ears again, I knew he would not let me get hurt but I also wanted to yell at him for trying to talk sense into the fool that had a blade at my throat. Sanemi’s response was to grin wider, I did not have time to see that smile widen into a manic laugh that he was kicked off of me. I was fast to sit up and crawl backwards to the veranda to let them fight. The Wind Pillar stood up fast, his expression thrilled, “Rengoku, get the fuck out of my way. Your diplomatic fuck needs to learn when to-“ he was cut off by the Fire Pillar punching him in the face and bringing him down by hooking his foot around the angry man’s ankle. “Watch your mouth, the girls are watching!” His tone was light, but his expression, from what I could see on the side, was dead serious. I saw from the corner of my eyes Kiyo, Naho and Sumi peeking from behind the wall, ever so worried. Returning my eyes to the men in front of me, I scooted to stand in front of the girls in case they decided to continue fighting.

The ginger gripped the wild man’s collar and lifted him from the ground, his smile disappearing slowly as he leaned in, “You made two mistakes, the first one was attacking your brother, your blood, the boy who is trying so hard to be worthy for you. What kind of role model are you? Do you not realize the luck you have to have him by your side? Fix this, or you will regret it.” He spoke from experience, not that he had a bad relationship with his brother, but he missed him, and I knew he was working hard to be the best role model for Senjurou. Rengoku was a man keen on bonds, on keeping good relationships with people and never in his life would he let things get this bad with his brother. I could read it in his eyes how angry he was at Sanemi for acting like this. Sanemi kept his mouth shut, which was a step forward to calming him down since he was now listening, “The second was fighting dishonorably.” He spat before letting go of Sanemi's collar and gesturing for him to follow, “Let’s finish this somewhere else. Only then will you return to your recruits.” It was not a suggestion.

Watching them leave, I did not say anything. I started thinking of how to thank him for having my back, but as I thought so, Rengoku called my name, getting my attention, “Do not forget our recruits! Get up and go train them, I will join you shortly, my love.” He winked with his usual grin, my face suddenly felt hot at the name he had used in front of so many people, it made him laugh. While the girls patted my shoulders, telling me to get up, I saw Rengoku hit the back of Sanemi’s head while they walked towards the forest. How quick were they to get friendly again? I suppose Ren had that effect on people, he was calming to be around and forgiving too, it was hard to feel bad around him.

That fight was quickly forgotten, everyone had other things to think about. Most of the recruits thought it was usual for the Wind Pillar to be mad like that and were not even disturbed. Only the other Pillars and Tanjirou’s little clique knew what had truly happened and that Sanemi and Genya were in fact brothers. It was not an information everyone needed to know, hence it was kept for very few people to know.

The countdown until the fight with Muzan was going; in the blink of an eye, we had reached the day before the fight. It was not a day of festivities, we had all agreed on winning and only then would we be celebrating. We were fully aware that we would not all be there by the end of it, but none of us would mention it. It was an unspoken fact, one that wandered about, weighing the air we breathed, making everything more glum. No matter how hard we tried, we were aware of it, even if it was just in the back of our minds while we waited for the time to leave the estate and head to the territory before sundown.

It was hard not to think about it, people were playing games, others had gone to sleep the day away. I found myself walking about the estate in the late afternoon, not knowing what to do and overheard a discussion I knew I should not have heard. Perhaps getting caught off guard at the mention of Shinobu killing herself was what made me let my stealth down. My name was called by the delicate, strained voice of Kocho telling me to come in. I had to take a moment to calm down and slithered inside, my mouth shut tight when I felt a wave of sadness rush over my body. She proceeded to explain the strategy she had in mind to kill the demon that had killed Kanae, her sister. I paid attention, trying to find a fault in her strategy, trying to find anything to convince her to change her mind but it made sense. She knew what she was doing, she was determined, I hated it, I felt heavy in my chest. She taught me a lot, she was not my closest friend but we were close enough for me to feel this pain.

At the end of her explanation, she smiled at Kanao and dismissed her. I was about to follow when she told me to stay seated. We then waited for the younger girl to leave. Once we were sure she was away, I breathed out, “Is this a goodbye, Shinobu?”

She hummed. I looked up from my lap and saw her strained smile, her determination was unwavering, she knew what she had to do but I saw her hands clenched on her lap. “There is no way to change your mind, is there?” She shook her head, her smile still present, her eyes closed with wrinkles at the corners from how hard she was forcing that smile on her face. “There is no need to act tough with me, you have seen me cry many times. I believe it is fitting to cry on your last day alive, don’t you think?” Those were the words that made her crumble. In an instant, I was in front of her and was holding her tight as she mumbled it was the right thing to do but it is hard to let down Kanao, to leave her alone in this world. “Alone? There is no way I am dying out there, I will keep an eye on her. And you are not letting her down, you are doing what is most honorable, she will battle by your side resolutely.” Shinobu was not one to cry, she did not stay in my arms long. As she pulled away, she smiled to herself sadly, “I wish to be the only one who dies out there.”

I could not promise that, we were going to lose many people, I knew that, she knew that, we all knew that. “But it will not be that easy,” she continued, lifting her head to look at me with a sincere gaze, “I will welcome those who will fall during battle, no one will be alone. You must stay alive and keep living, no matter what.” It sounded like she was repeating herself, but I knew what she meant. Do not let the darkness take over, do not lose your mind over the losses this battle will bring. “That is quite a huge favor, I am not sure-“ “You will, you have to. You are the one who has the most to look forward to once this is over.” There was no need to remind me of that, if I had things to look forward to, it meant I had things to lose and that scared me. So, I tried to distract myself and chuckled, “Do you wish to hear a funeral speech? I am not very familiar with living funerals, but I can try if you wish.” That made her laugh; thus, I spent the following hour with her. Making jokes, bantering and remembering the good times. It did not make the goodbye any easier but it was nice.

At around 4 in the afternoon, the sun was still high in the sky, so we still had a few hours or so in front of us before the plan Master Ubuyashiki had set would take place. For those remaining hours, I had called Rengoku to our chambers and decided to spend as much time with him as possible.

Upon entering our chambers, Rengoku undid his kimono and started stripping without much care, “Do you believe we should dress for the occasion? A battle like this calls for-“ “It is a simple battle, a battle we will win. Nothing has to be different; it is but a bigger demon.” I stated, looking away from his naked form. Did I believe the words I had spoken? Barely, but I needed to hear them, even if it was last minute, I needed to convince myself it was going to be alright. “You are very right; I see you are already dressed in your slayer attire.” He noticed, his voice soft and carefree. It probably was an act, but I enjoyed it, I needed it. As I looked down at my black outfit, I felt a whiplash at the realization of how close we were getting to that fight we had been preparing for so long.

Ignoring my thoughts for the umpteenth time, I gestured for Rengoku to follow me as I moved to the cabinet and grabbed a comb and a ribbon. He understood and sat in front of me, ready for me to take care of him. I did so in silence rather quickly, his hair was a lot less tangled than usual, as if he had taken the habit to brush it. It made me smile for a short moment as I threaded my fingers through his hair. Once I was done, I threw his braid over his shoulder and as if on cue, “With that, I’m sure to win! Nothing will get in my way.” He said enthusiastically as he stood up before saying, “I am quite glad it is the last time we are wearing this attire.” He pinched his shirt to emphasize when we stood up, but I interrupted him and glared at him, not thinking twice before saying, “Do not say that! We will win!” A lie, I did not believe those words, why was I getting that desperate? Why only now?

Rengoku’s eyes widened as he finished buttoning up his shirt; he then walked up to me and cradled my face to smoosh my cheeks and stare at me for a long time. “I meant that once we have defeated Muzan, there will be no need for the corps. We will retire, in a beautiful house near a big field.” He said, never letting go of my face.

I stared back, feeling stupid for my outburst. He was right, but deep down I knew that no matter the outcome, it was the last time we would wear this uniform. Kyojuro must have read my mind, or read my expression, my gaze getting lost in his from overthinking the situation. “Please, stop overthinking.” “I can’t do that. My mind is riddled with anxiety, I am conflicted between blindly trusting our skills or getting used to the idea we are all going to die.” I said, tears pricking the corner of my eyes. Rengoku’s brows knitted together in sadness at seeing me like this. I moved his hands away from mine to wipe the tears to calm down, thinking he should not have to carry the weight of my gloominess out on the battlefield. But I could not help the words from flooding out of my mouth, “I am so afraid of losing you, there is so much more I wish we had done, I regret not-“ “Stop right there,” He pulled me close to him and held me so tight I thought I would break. His head was resting on my shoulder as he hugged me in a bone-crushing embrace. “There is no regret; all that has happened, happened the moment it should have.”

Still holding me tight, he said, “Perhaps fate has other plans for us, perhaps it will try to separate us, but I love challenges, and if I have to defy fate to be with you, I will do it.” I laughed at that, knowing it was impossible, but this man was known for doing the impossible. He was himself impossible, untamable in the best way, the freest mind I had ever encountered. If there was one person who could go against fate and win, it would be him. “I would like to say the same, but at best I will defy Muzan himself, fate seems a bit too hard to beat but-“ “Easy enough for me! I am very skilled,” He said happily, his hands moving to mine as he pulled me with him, our arms extended lazily in front of us as he dragged me around the room all while talking, “I once caught a fish with my bare hands—well it jumped right back in the river, but I caught it!” He said cutely, almost tripping onto the futon behind him, I quickly pulled him towards me and held him close as I looked at him fondly.

“Skilled? Your balance is lacking, perhaps you should have taken dancing lessons.” I said playfully, one of my hands moving to his shoulder while one of his slid to my waist, bringing my hips closer. “My mother taught me how to dance, she was the most delicate when dancing with beautiful flowery dresses,” He smiled genuinely before kissing me and whispering, “Sing me a song, I will show you.” Lost in his glimmering eyes, I simply looked at him in awe, enjoying the warmth of his hands on my body. After a few moments had passed, he reiterated with a chuckle, that’s when I asked, “A song—yes. Which one? I know so many, maybe-“ “The one you were singing when I woke up the first time.”

Taken aback, I gulped and nodded, taking a few seconds to compose myself before starting. It was not made to be a concert, no, it was loud enough for both of us to enjoy and bathe in the serenity it brought us. As I sang, he brought my head to his chest and hummed along, a few notes were off but it made my heart burst with love to know how much he remembered it. I could hear his heartbeat and I hated myself for thinking it could be the last time I did so. Must it be so hard to brandish a sword and defend the ones you love? Must the price of failure be their death? How did we end up here, risking our lives for something none of us had asked for? For a moment, I wished we had been in a reality where we were entertainers, something we were anything but.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, my words had come to a stop for I was now simply humming and so was Kyojuro. His head was resting against mine and we were slowly waltzing across the tatami, enjoying the moment, perhaps our last together. His embrace was like home, a home I did not wish to leave, it was welcoming and reassuring, a place I wanted to protect and go back to when this was over. It made my heart twist in the most horrible way at the thought of not being able to, of being alone without him by my side, of not hiring a painter to follow us on our adventure, of not having a dog with a silly name. “I am in love with you, please do not die, sunshine.” I sobbed against his chest, his arms tightening around my shoulders as he reassured me.

His answer did not stop the tears and was carved in my mind even hours later, after the explosion of the mansion in which Muzan was, after the Pillars had run there to help, after we had split in teams to all go to our assigned area. The words flashed vividly in my mind as I set foot on the battlefield, shambles surrounding us,

“Let’s live on, let’s do our best to live on, no matter how lonely it gets.”

[Part 9]

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

Text

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Hijikata Chapter 5

This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share…. and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.

For some very strange reason, I decided to watch the xxxHolic stage. i mean, i don’t even remember the plot of the manga (or the last time i even read it for that matter), and since my understanding of spoken Japanese is worse than abysmal, I didn’t really understand what was going on so it probably wasn’t a good idea to watch in the first place... though in fairness, i just had it played in the background as I was mostly focusing on something else at the time. lol. yeah, im weird.

anyway, enjoy!

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Hijikata Chapter 5

Translation by KumoriYami

Yukimura: Pickles, and freshly brewed tea for Hijikta-san...... Nn.

There was steam wafting from the tea that had been placed on the tray, and it tickled my nose [reword later].

After a trip to the kitchen to secure the pickles and tea, I headed straight towards Hijikata-san's room.

Yukimura: It would be nice if Hijikata-san could enjoy this.

I muttered quietly with anticipation, and stopped at the door in front of Hijikata-san's room.

Although it wasn't a bad idea to bring food, what if I got in the way of his work and he kicked me out?

While worrying about this, I took in a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak through the closed [im assuming it's "sliding". check later] doors.

Yukimura: Um, Hijikata-san. It's Yukimura.

…………

Yukimura: I'm sorry to disturb you while you're busy. I made you some tea...

…………

After asking several times, there was still no response/signs of movement from the other side of the door.

Yukimura: As expected, it wasn't good to bring tea over......

I was hoping this would make him happy/cheer him up, but the tea had now become cold/had cooled down.

As I listlessly hung my head as I looked down at the tea leaves floating in the teacup——

Hijikata: Hey.

The voice that I had been expecting to hear suddenly came from behind me for some reason.

Yukimura: Eh?

Hijikata: I was wondering who it was, and it turned out to be you, Chizuru. What are you doing standing in front of someone's room?

Yukimura: Hi-Hijikata-san!?

Being in such an unexpected situation, the tray almost fell out of my hands.

After reaching for the tray to keep it steady, Hijikata-san sighed.

Hijikata: Why are you so surprised. It looks like you've seen a ghost.

Yukimura: It, It's not that/N-No, I thought you'd be spending the entire day in your room working.... .!

Hijikata: Well, I was thinking about doing that earlier.

At the same he finished those meaningful words, Hijikata-san glanced at me and went into his room.

Seeing that I was still standing there dumbstruck, Hijikata-san glanced at me.

Hijikata: Weren't you looking for me? If so, don't just stand there and come in.

Yukimura: Ye-Yes!

As soon as I entered the room, the first thing that came into view were the documents and letters scattered all over the place.

After gathering up the things that had scattered to the floor, HIjikata-san sat down.

Hijikata: Well, I just wanted to ask you about what you're carrying in your hands right now...

Yukimura: Ah, yes. I was thinking that it was about time for you to take a break, so I prepared tea and some snacks for you.

Hijikata: You specifically prepared it for me? I'm sorry for troubling you.

After I put down the tray, Hijikata-san immediately reached for the pickles.

After he put the pickles into his mouth, he seemed to be chewing them carefully, as if to taste them slowly/slowly savour them.

Hijikata: Hm? This taste...

Yukimura: Yes. I heard these pickles were brought/sent over from Hino.

Hijikata: I see. No wonder why they taste familiar.

Hijikata:——Ah, these are really delicious. The taste from my hometown is really different/special.

As if he were thinking of his hometown, Hijikata-san looked off into the distance as he sipped his tea.

That's good... he seemed to be happy.

Yukimura: Where these pickles were delivered from——Hijikata-san's hometown is the same as Kondou-san's hometown right?

Hijikata: Yeah. Haven't I mentioned this/it before? I used to learn the sword at a run-down/poor [word i have is 'poor' but i think run-down makes more sense... though i also can't think of any other word at the moment] dojo in Tama with Kondou-san, Souji and Gen-san.

I've heard several stories about that time.

The dojo that Kondou-san was the dojo master of ——. [reword later? 'dojo' repeats twice]

It was where the other executives met.

Yukimura:...It must have been a friendly dojo.

Hijikata: That's because the owner of the dojo is/was a good person. Thanks to that/him, the number of freeloaders increased while it became more and more poor...

Hijikata: At the time, all you could eat for a meal were sliced pickles.

Hijikata: How about it, Chizuru, why don't you try a slice too?

Yukimura: Is that okay/Can I?

Like Hijikata-san suggested, I brought a slice to my mouth.

When I bit into it, a salty taste spread inside my mouth.

Yukimura: They're/It's delicious/Delicious......

Hijikata: Yeah. [So?] You also think that they're delicious......

Seeing how my eyes had widened, Hijikata-san smiled.

I couldn't help but feel fascinated by that smile.

Yukimura:…………

Hijikata: What/What is it? Is there something on my face?

Yukimura: N-No, that's not the case... but, I was thinking that Hijikata-san had a very tender/gentle expression just now...

Hijikata: Huh.... I couldn’t help it since you were praising the flavours of my hometown.

Hijikata-san looked away and whispered softly to himself.

...Perhaps he was feeling embarrassed.

Then/After, as I saw Hijikata-san stretch by lightly turning his neck, I nervously opened my mouth.

Yukimura: Um, speaking of which, Hijikata-san, you've been working all day... If it's alright with you, can I massage your shoulders?

Hijikata: No need to massage my shoulders. Rather, I wouldn't want such a sight to be seen by Souji [reword later? awkward].

Hijikata: If he saw that/you doing that, he would definitely say something to me about retiring/about how I should retire.

Yukimura: Yes/I see...

I lowered my head.

Perhaps it was because he couldn't bear to see my pitiful appearance, but Hijikata-san bitterly smiled and shook his head.

Hijikata:......I changed my mind. Well, in fact, my shoulders are [feeling] very stiff/sore.

As he spoke, Hijikata-san turned his back towards me.

Hijikata: Then..... I'll leave it to you.

Yukimura: Y-Yes! Excuse me then!

I tried to hide my nervousness as I put my hands onto Hijikata-san's shoulders.

When I touched him like this, I once again realized that he was a man again [????].

Hijikata-san's shoulders were much wider/broader than mine, and the muscles in his shoulders were as hard as rocks.

With what little strength I had, I worried that I wouldn't be able to do anything...

While I thought that, I used as much strength as I could as massaged his shoulders.

Yukimura: Is, Is this okay?

Hijikata:…………

Each time I pressed my palms into his shoulders, Hijikata-san's normally stern face seemed to loosen because of how comfortable/relaxing this was [to him].

Although he didn't answer my question, the sigh that escaped his lips was enough of a response.

I might be overstating it, but it seemed that he trusted me [???]....

Seeing his wholly relaxed/comfortable and defenceless expression, I couldn't believe that this was the same Demon Vice-Commander.

Yukimura; You seem really stiff. Thank you for all the hard work you do every day. So, will you be continuing to work after this?

Hijikata: Yeah. I was originally going to work all day today.... that's how it was supposed to be.

Yukimura: Supposed to be?

Hijikata-san glanced at me again with another meaningful look in his eyes/Hijikata-san glanced at me with the same meaningful eyes he had before.

As I blinked my eyes, not knowing what he meant, Hijikata-san's lips lifted into a smile.

Hijikata: In fact, I was going to ordering uniforms, estimating the cost of repairing the leak in the roof... But it seems like the work I was supposed to do was done by someone else.

Yukimura: Th-That/Th-Then...

I finally managed to figure out the situation.

Then, almost as if he were waiting for it, Hijikata-san gently put his hand on the top of my head.

Hijikata: I rarely have free time.... but it wouldn't be bad to go out.

Yukimura: Ye-Yes!

Hijikata: Tell/Call me when you want to go to the festival. If you like, I'll accompany you.

Seeing that Hijikata-san was cheerfully smiling/cheerfully laughed, I also smiled.

Since I could go to the festival with Hijikata-san, what should I/we go do now——

-end of chapter-

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki yuugiroku 2 #Hijikata Toshizou #Yukimura Chizuru #hakuoki game translation

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karasunology · 4 years

Text

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ KUROO TETSUROU & KOZUME KENMA BEING A DAD HEADCANONS ! ❞

✎ . . . all those dad headcanons are making me so SOFT 🥺✨🥺 do you think you could make some for kuroo, akaashi and atsumu as dads if u haven’t done them already??

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

✎ . . . i'm happy that your requests are open ! and for dad headcanons?? i am right here to serve my braincells for you ma'am. what about dad! sugawara & kenma? thank you in advance 🤓😘

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ kuroo tetsurou & kozume kenma <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA VERSION. ] [ BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATSUMU VERSION. ] [ IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . someone send me cute dad suggestions because i am running🏃out of ideas💡 i'm also finaly done with dad! akaashi hcs in my notes, so feel free to request ( even non-dad related ones ) because i lowkey have no life👉👈🗿

KOZUME KENMA.

➜ it would come as a shock to him honestly ─ you guys used protection and he was atleast careful despite having lazy smex half of the time

➜ but what shocks YOU the most was that he didn't want to get rid of the baby ─ he just couldn't, it was a child he co-reated with the love of his life, how could he ?

➜ you were quick to come with an agreement with him, his soft smile tugging on his lips to form, the smile 80% of the time would come out only for you ( shoyou & kuroo )

➜ he was also lowkey excited, he texted shoyou and kuroo about it as they both congratulated him and were already trying to do dibs on who'll be god father

➜ and you've noticed that he was bit more affectionate with you when you were in your pregnancy, his head on your lap as you play with his hair ─ which he usually doesn't like people doing?? and would every now and then kiss your tummy while playing his games

➜ i want to h*ld his hand

➜ and k*th him

➜ he's like a mother cat on pregnancy, but with you ─ never lets you do work, saying that he already has it under all on control, very protective of you and literally hisses at other people coming near you LMAO WTF MAN

➜ tries to be as knowledgable for your pregnancy as much as possible ─ just like the other dads in my hcs, they want YOU to feel comfortable with EVERYTHING and want YOU to feel supported

➜ has already bought EVERYTHING you needed, even extra ones and has booked appointments left and right

➜ like mans hasn't done this much effort after volleyball ngl

➜ but just like everyone else ─ he's terrified, he doesn't know alot of these things and of course you're the only woman he has ever gotten pregnant and he doesn't have any experiences in these type of thing whatsoever

➜ doubts were not uncommon ─ if he ever was going to be a good father to his child, if he was even a good fiancé to you, was he even worth to have a child with ?

➜ this bb boy CRIED when he heard you guys were having twins, TWINS; like as in a girl and a boy

➜ when kaori and kazu were born, kenma wasn't aware that he could fall in love all over again

➜ is this even worth mentioning because everyone probably knows this?? he s p o i l s them big time

➜ whenever he's working late at night, he'll always be the one telling YOU to go back to sleep and he'll be the one to take care of the kid for the night

➜ and by kid, i meant kazu because somehow??he??got??his??father's??sleeping??schedule??

➜ and it's how he sleeps by

➜ sometimes whenever you wake up, you find yourself alone in the bedroom and whenever you look at either the game room or your childrens' room, you would always find kenma lying with his children on couch-bed ─ kozu and kaori on each side of his head, kaori having her small little fingers holding and sometimes tugging onto her dad's hair

➜ and sometimes you would also join them

➜ but most of the time, you would head to the kitchen and make some breakfast

➜ and usually kenma would wake up and put his kids back to their crib and he'd go look for you, finding you cooking as he would wrap his arms around your waist as he hugs you from the back

➜ i just wanna get myself a gamer boi kenma

➜ since he gets a lot more clingey whenever he wakes up

➜ whenever he's streaming USUALLY, kozu would sleep on his lap like a cat while kaori is sleeping in his head?? Idk how??

➜ while his fans literally PAY him to show his adorable kids, some even commented how they're all so cat-like and alike with their father

➜ one time while streaming, he was probably ranting tf out of a game he wasted his money on and warning his fans not to buy it because it's basically a scam

➜ and while he was in the middle of ranting, his daughter comes in while holding a blanket on her as she rubbed her eyes looking so much like a small kitten, he literally STOPS DEAD ON HIS SWEAR WORD AS HIS EYES WIDDENED while the people in the chats are either fangirling how CUTE his daughter was or DYING because mans was almst about to swear and interrupted himself

➜ before he could react a bundle of energy comes into the gaming room, you hot tailing on his tracks as you came into the room while trying to retrieve kozu

“ kozu!! don't come in there ahH ─ ” you blushed as you looked at both your boyfriend that has an amused eyebrow cocked up, and onto the camera before laughing and smiling at it since his fans ADORE YOU

➜ when you finally got your hands on your son, you smiled at your daughter as you signaled her to come over to you

➜ but before she could come to you she was already lifted at her father's lap

“ it's fine, i'll have her with me ” he said as he nodded at you, placing her gently in the middle of his lap as his arms encaged her while he played his games

➜ before leaving with a pouting kozu on your arms you threw a peace sign at the camera for his fans, closing the door on the way out

➜ let's just say that it lowkey went viral because it's literally so cute

➜ sorry i just HAD to reference that interview that got viral before

➜ one time where you fell asleep with both of your children curled up to you in the bed, kenma just finished a long stream as he walked to the bedroom hoping to fall asleep ontop of you yet finds two cute cat looking children cuddling you

➜ he quickly took a photo or two and made it both his home and lockscreen before sending it to shoyou

➜ and then sliding himself onto the covers as he, himself, nuzzled himself onto your warmth

➜ the relatable dad, idk why but i really see him getting along with children especially when they're teenagers ─ i just, i COULD SEE IT

➜ especially kaori😭 since she inherited his introverted and somehow shy side??

➜ kaori : *slids down the chair after coming home from school* i wanna die

➜ kenma : same

➜ he would introduce video games to his children AHH

➜ would even play violent games with them because why not?

➜ you'd prolly have to scold him after though

➜ the biggest achievement was when both of his children listing game consoles on their christmas lists

➜ and it was on the top of the list

➜ but kenma, being the kanbe(kambe??) daisuke he is, he bought all the things on that list

➜ he knows his kids are supposed to be studying at school ─ he knows it, he really does, that's why he made them go to school

➜ but he couldn't help but play along with his children on the imessage games when he DEFINITELY knows that they were in the middle of history class

➜ and you'll just find out it through the family gc seeing them spam the chat with games and screenshots of their scores while comparing them😭

➜ he always knew how to communicate with his children ─ perhaps it was because of the reason that they are his children

➜ but whenever his daughter comes to him complaining about human interactions and wanting to stay home while his son complains about school being in the way of gaming ─ he's just like : WE SEE EACH OTHER

➜ baby boy is a lazy bum, but he will never hesitate to participate and contribute to his children's life ─ not only through things, but also with just his guidance and presence

➜ your pregnancy may have come across as an accident, but it was never a mistake to kenma.

KUROO TETSUROU.

➜ after getting married for two years now, you couldn't help but want to start building a family with kuroo

➜ LIKE WHO WOULDN'T?? this is kuroo tetsurou we are talking about

➜ unlike oikawa and bokuto ─ YOU were the one having the baby fever

➜ your friends and colleagues already having or talking with their partners to start or adopt

➜ but of course you were lowkey insecure, why wasn't he even mentioning that he wanted a family with you? does he think that it was a waste of time? or maybe he doesn't want to start it with you ─ maybe you were the problem?

➜ but unbeknownst to you, tetsurou also wanted to start a family with you ─ he wanted a lot of children, actually. but he doesn't want you to feel pressured ─ since you guys are still youthful, there's still a lot of time to think about it

➜ and most of all, he doesn't want to start a family with anyone else BUT YOU

➜ whatthefucksanaol sir eye ─

➜ and he's already talking to bokuto behind your back about wanting to start a family with you ( and of course kenma )

➜ but BOKUTO IS JUST SCARILY GOOD AT ADVICES

➜ it's quite eerie honestly

➜ you, thinking it was only just a slight baby fever with all your friends wanting them as well, tried dismissing your thoughts

➜ but your mind said nO❌🚫 RIGHTS✅💢

➜ and kuroo could notice the slight change in behaviour with you, it was subtle but he was quite perceptive

➜ with his cat eyes intently watching you as you tried avoiding his gazes because all you could think is HAVING A BABY WITH THE SAME EYES AS HIM FIIFJJCJC

➜ HELP ME

➜ it was fine until he confronted you about it

➜ kuroo ─ for me, is someone to face a problem head-on, it's just his personality, so it wasn't a surprise that he seriously yet carefully and nonchalantly confronted you while you guys were about to sleep as you layed your head on his lap, taking in his warmth

➜ and that's where mans dropped the b*mb💣

“dollface? is everything alright with you?”

➜ just imagine kuroo's concerned voice is all that you could hear along with the palpitations of your heart as he caressed your cheeks, brushing off the hair covering your face as he puts down science pun book he had on his hands on the nightstand

➜ now i can't help but imagine that scene from the special/bonus chapter from bj alex with chanwoo and MD on the bed, that scene where he tries to confront chanwoo about that bruise on his face? ughshshsj

➜ all he heard was that you wanted to start a family with him👉👈 and now he's seconds to going FERAL and push you down the matress

➜ 😳🔞

➜ SIR CALM DOWN PLEATHES

➜ I CAN'T TAKE IT

➜ but mans was quick to get himself back to reality, a bashful smile tugged on his lips as he nodded at you, kinda disappointed that you had to be the braver person in the relationship to bring out the topic and it wasn't him

➜ mans is competitive okay

“ . . . why don't we start now? ” he slyly grinned, y'know, that cheshire cat grin

➜ let's just see you guys didn't sleep at all that night

➜ kuroo was, though not surprisingly, good and knowledgable with pregnancy, not like he secretly researched about it that one time when you guys got a pregnancy scare that started all his wild thoughts about you carrying his child um ─

➜ and this is kuroo we are talking about lmao

➜ i think he has his insecurities but was never doubtful of himself being a father, LIKE MANS HAS TAKEN CARE OF A WHOLE ASS VOLLEYBALL TEAM ─ but he knows there is a difference between being a father to his child and being a good one

➜ i wanna m*rry him too😡

➜ you gifted him a daughter, his first born. the first time he saw her, GOD WAS THIS THE BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN HIS LIFE

➜ like who knew you guys could create someone so beautifully mashed of both him and you ─ but you disagree, as even by the youngest age of four months or three, you could see the literal resemblance of your husband on her

➜ and it was uncanny, her eyes were the ones you dreamed of your children having ─ molten golden ones of tetsurou's, her cat-like grin and sly personality

➜ she was always quick to lean on her father's warmth, and that made kuroo CRY and you kinda jealous

➜ but nevertheless, you knew that there were plenty of times to make one that loves you just as much taiga loves tetsurou

➜ and you did get it, second born after only half a year, was tamaki, which has taken both your personality and tetsurou's, while having your appearance.

➜ but you were quick to notice to comment that tamaki has gotten kuroo's shy personality while he was young, he would always shy away from his sister that kept clinging onto him since she has never had a playmate other than her uncles from nekoma's old volleyball club

➜ kuroo was to say the least, really happy when he sees your two children getting along with each other since he, himself, has grown up alone with no sibling and without a mother

➜ and as he looked at you playing tamaki and taiga as tamaki got you all wrapped around his finger while taiga was looking for her father, he couldn't help but smile

➜ believe it or not, taiga first said your name ─ not tetsurou's

➜ in your face kuroo

“ come on, say dada !! ” your husband patted his thighs to make a sound as he sat on the bed while your daughter just ─ once again, leaned on his touch, nuzzling her face onto his warm thighs while giggling

➜ he dropped his phone to the bed whining, “ mama! look at her ─ ”

“ ─ mama!! ” your daughter imitated his words, both leaving you guys stunned and wide-eyed as you laugh in shock while tamaki was jealous you gave his sister more attention and now tugging softly at your hair,

“ . . . mama? ”

➜ KUROO WAS SO DONE, HIS COMPETITIVE LOWKEY PETTY ASS WAS DONE

➜ also belive it or not, tamaki was the one who got his father's sleeping habits of having two pillows on both sides of his head

➜ HE'S THE TYPE OF DAD THAT USES A VACCUM CLEANER TO STYLE YOUR DAUGHTERS HAIR LIKE THE ONES ON THOSE VIDEOS ON YT SNSJJSNZZ

➜ and it actually??comes??off??nice??and neat??

➜ at the age of 7, your daughter was already picked to represent her class on a science fair AND YOU BET TETSUROU IS SO PROUD OF HIS DAUGHTER

➜ would be such a supportive dad

➜ visits tamaki and taiga's volleyball games ─ like atleast all over them, and would bring along his old teammates to it maybe just to relive old memories because you BET that they're attending nekoma

➜ would always have these little traditions and inside jokes with them and you

➜ especially science ones

➜ what do we expect? HE'S LITERALLY A DORK

➜ AND SO ARE HIS KIDS

➜ they just vibe with each other ngl, like kuroo is just a down-to-earth guy and could get along with BOTH your extroverted daughter and introverted son, since he was both of them in a moment from his life

➜ uncle kenma would always bring in gifts for them because they're literally now his cats because they are now cats

➜ sorry i don't make the rules

➜ my husband, kenma, does😋

➜ your kids LOVE HIM though, especially tamaki being a bit like kenma ─ both, growing a soft spots for each other

➜ whenever some of his old teammates would visit, taiga is always on uncle lev's back while yaku scolds him to put her tf down or else she'll fall

➜ tamaki on the other hand, is just safely sitting beside his uncle kenma while he watched him play games ─ which he has also grown to love

➜ doesn't let your kids forget to eat and makes them eat even if taiga's in the phase of wanting to be sexy gorl tingz ─ DADDY KUROO SAYS NO RIGHTS🚫

➜ overall, kuroo couldn't ask for more, he was so proud of his children no matter what they do through and through and of course you too ─ for carrying his children, bringing them into the world and being patient with them

#kuroo tetsurou x reader #kozume kenma x reader #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu smau #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu drabbles #kuroo tetsurou scenarios #kozume kenma scenarios #kozume kenma smau #kuroo tetsurou smau #kenma x reader #kuroo x reader #hq headcanons

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