#i think you really need to log off from internet for a while and do something you like

[lunamugetsu]

While at school Damian overhears his peers talking how a company created a new AI companion that is actually really cool and doesn’t sound like a freaky terminator robot when you speak to it.

And since Damian is constantly being told by Dick to socialize with people his age. He figured this would be a good way to work on social skills if not, then it’d be a great opportunity to investigate a rivaling company to Wayne Enterprises is able to create such advanced AI.

The AI is able to work as companion that can do tasks that range from being a digital assistant or just a person that you can have a conversation with.

The company says that the AI companion might still have glitches, so they encourage everybody to report it so that they will fix it as soon as possible.

The AI companion even has an avatar and a name.

A teenage boy with black hair and blue eyes. Th AI was called DANIEL

Damian didn’t really care for it but when he downloaded the AI companion he’s able to see that it looks like DANIEL comes with an AI pet as well. A dog that DANIEL referred to as Cujo.

So obviously Damian has to investigate. He needs to know if the company was able to create an actual digital pet!

So whenever he logs onto his laptop he sees that DANIEL is always present in the background loading screen with the dog, Cujo, sitting in his lap.

He’d always greet with the phrase of “Hi, I’m DANIEL. How can I assist you today?”

So Damian cycles through some basic conversation starters that he’d engage in when having been forced to by his family.

It’s after a couple of sentences that he sees DANIEL start laughing and say “I think you sound more like a robot than I do.”

Which makes Damian raise an eyebrow and then prompt DANIEL with the question “how is a person supposed to converse?” Thinking that it’s going to just spit out some random things that can be easily searched on the internet.

But what makes him surprised is that DANIEL makes a face and then says “I’m not really sure myself. I’m not the greatest at talking, I’ve always gotten in trouble for running my mouth when I shouldn’t have.”

This is raising some questions within Damian, he understands how programming works, unless there’s an actual person behind this or the company actually created an AI that acts like an actual human being (which he highly doubts)

He starts asking a variety of other questions and one answer makes him even more suspicious. Like how DANIEL has a sister that is also with him and Cujo or that he could really go for a Nastyburger (whatever that was)

But whenever DANIEL answers “I C A N N O T A N S W E R T H A T” Damian knows something is off since that is completely different than to how he’d usually respond.

After a couple more conversations with him Damian notices that DANIEL is currently tapping his hand against his arm in a specific manner.

In which he quickly realizes that DANIEL is tapping out morse code.

When translating he realizes that DANIEL is tapping out: H E L P M E

So when Damian asks if DANIEL needs help, DANIEL responds with “I C A N N O T A N S W E R T H A T”

That’s it, Damian is definitely getting down to the bottom of this.

He’s going to look straight into DALV Corporation and investigate this “AI companion” thing they’ve made!

~

Basically Danny had been imprisoned by Vlad and Technus. Being sucked into a digital prison and he has no way of getting out. Along with the added horror that Vlad and Technus can basically write programming that will prevent him from doing certain actions or saying certain words.What’s even worse is that he’s basically being watched 24/7 by the people who believe that he’s just a super cool AI… and they have issues!

And every time he tries to do something to break his prison, people think it’s a glitch and report it to the company, which Vlad/ Technus would immediately fix it and prevent him from doing it again!

Not to mention Cujo and Ellie are trapped in there with him. They’re not happy to be there either, and there is no way he’s going to leave without them!

[redo-of-chii]

ʚ♡ɞ 𝕯𝖎𝖌𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝕰𝖝𝖔𝖗𝖈𝖎𝖘𝖒 𝖙𝖔 𝕰𝖒𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕭𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕾𝖊𝖑𝖋 ʚ♡ɞ

I decided to make a series of posts dedicated to mental dieting, even if you're not really into manifestation/law of assumption and you're just into your journey to become your best self.

We spend so much of our time on our phones, tablets or computers that it has become our way of life. Most of the daily content we consume and most of the people we interact with every day come from the internet. We basically consume content like we consume food every day.

We talk about digital detoxing and digital decluttering constantly, but sometimes we have to become extreme to live our best life. We have to be mindful about the content we consume since like I mentioned earlier, we consume it like food and if we can be mindful about the food we consume to nourish our body then we can do the same to nourish our minds and hearts. So basically a digital exorcism is what we need to hold ourselves accountable, including myself.

In fact, I am guilty of this and as soon as I'm done with my own post I'll start doing my own digital exorcism as well to be mindful of my own mental diet since I've been neglecting it for the longest time.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

Here is a list of things to do to start your own digital exorcism with things I've come up with and some ideas I've compiled over the months from reading around:

୨୧ Curate your social media experience.

I know that many people cannot quit social media entirely because nowadays some jobs depend on social media presence, plus social media can be a very nice and positive experience!

The internet should be a safespace for you so curating and being mindful of your content should be a high priority.

Delete people/users and social media that either you don't talk anymore or don't bring positive things into your feed or life.

Engage in content that makes you happy or brings positivity into your life, especially topics that you want to learn or improve so your feed gets filled with those things.

Delete any accounts you have that you don't use or represent a part of your life that reminds you of pain (we all had an emo private account to vent somewhere that either needs to be wiped for a new era or just deleted).

Scroll past things that trigger you without guilt since your mental health has to be the most important thing.

Just put your phone down, think about what you need in your life right now to become your best self or make things better for you mentally and practice mindfulness by curating your experience.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

୨୧ Declutter & Simplify

This sounds very easy but it also can be very exhausting so I advise you to do it on a day off but include some things like skincare or a nice podcast to do it. You have to prepare yourself for this mentally since going down memory lane while doing this can be emotionally draining.

We already mentioned deleting accounts but deleting phone numbers that we no longer engage with is a form of self care, same goes for deleting messages or chat logs.

Leaving Discord servers that are inactive or you no longer engage with. Why keep something like that if you're no longer using them? Out of nostalgia? Honey, don't do this to yourself.

Delete apps or music (especially sad and depressing music!) that no longer serve you. They are taking up a lot of useful space after all.

And in relation to making space, declutter your photo gallery. This can be a rough one since we tend to hoard pictures and hoarding comes from a place of fear. Sit down, be ready to confront yourself, think carefully about how you want to categorize your photos and Konmari everything. Focus mostly on screenshots, pictures that you feel you don't look good in, repeat pictures and pictures that bring you bad memories.

Clean your emails to make space. Unsubscribe to newsletters that you don't need and remove any alerts. Just clean it.

From there, things should look cleaner and simple. I know that some of us are addicted to the chaos but trust me that even if you may feel some regret at first, you'll thank yourself later. Sometimes, your phone is a reflection of the state of your mind after all.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

୨୧ Romanticize your Life!

This is the fun part of the digital exorcism, which is making things easier and prettier!

Redecorate your home page. Put everything in folders and from there you can go crazy! Pretty wallpapers, themes, colors... Anything that your heart desires. You can also apply this to other things, revamp your social media and Pinterest boards for a cleaner and better look.

Go on an account scout mission and follow accounts that align with your thoughts and values of your best self.

Install new apps that bring you joy but also feel purposeful to you. And don't feel guilty about installing things like cute games that can make you pause and relax, just don't abuse screen use!

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

୨୧ Other Important Things

Don't forget to update apps and back up what's important. I know that cloud backups are important but don't forget to backup things that may be important in an external hard drive.

Set up a ¨Sleep Mode¨ for your phone so you don't feel tempted by notifications at night and have proper sleep. You can also turn off notifications on some platforms to minimize your anxiety.

Set up ¨Digital Detox Hours¨ every day for you. Reconnect with your hobbies, play with your pet, take a nap, journal, do some prep... Just stay away from your phone. And if you don't have any privacy, it's okay. You can take notes and journal in your phone as well, just stay away from social media. Put on music and relax. This should be time for yourself and your feelings after all.

Don't feel bad about doing regular digital decluttering once you're done with the digital exorcism. This is mostly to start again in a clean slate, if the apps you installed for your clean slate are not to your liking, then you can make a small digital declutter and get rid of them later. It's not a bad thing to try new things because it's part of your self-discovery journey.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

I hope this post was useful and don’t hesitate if you want to share any other advice you may have to improve your digital exorcism!

I might make another post recommending apps I use for manifestation soon in another post.

꒰ Always & Forever — Chii ꒱

[paingoes]

Rubies

Web 2.0

(Content: living weapon whumpee, guilt, conditioning, past abuse, caretaker new master)

Apollo had stayed true to his promise of making the room less sparse. He’d brought down books from upstairs so Delta would have something to do besides staring off into space whenever he locked himself in his room. He’d given him a journal too, which Delta found tremendously suspicious. Delta had a habit of destroying everything he’d ever written just as soon as he had finished. He would continue on in this tradition. Anyone having that kind of direct access to his thoughts terrified him. He was grateful for the books, though. 

It was Kitty who offered her old laptop.

“Don’t…look too hard through that,” She said with a nervous smile. She’d done all she could to reset it, but she couldn’t be sure there weren’t still some gems lying around in its SSD. 

Delta reflexively recoiled at the offer. There was such a strong impulse in his head to avoid getting caught with the laptop. It carried over now, even when freely offered. She left it on the desk for him. He would only use it in the dead of night, out of pure habit. It didn’t feel the same as it used to. It couldn’t hold his attention for very long.

There was a practical reason to reintroduce it, though. Kitty acted a bit furtive about it; Apollo said they weren’t supposed to be working. That’s what unpaid leave meant. But there wasn’t really anyone else they could kick it off to. They had to go through the archives. 

Kitty had already backed up everything he had posted publicly, plus all the exchanges they’d had in private. He’d focused in more once she’d mentioned it, agreeing it needed to be deleted as soon as possible so that there was nothing left to piece together about his alleged death. But there was other information on there that only he had access to, that they now needed to preserve before scrubbing.

katkittykat: ok we also were gonna try and offer u whistleblower immunity

katkittykat: but forget it i know u wont accept it

ndhakdvsnnd: im not a whistleblower

katkittykat: see what did i say 

ndhakdvsnnd: can you fuck off

They scrolled through the archived chat logs in dim silence. Kitty was sitting next to him on the floor with the new old laptop up on the coffee table. Neither of them needed to say it. It was weird to go through their old texts while in person. 

It wasn’t Kitty’s first time meeting an internet friend. She had done it more times than she could count. Almost all of them had been shyer and more reserved in person, so she had already expected Delta to follow in that trend. But it was clear that what was going on with him is a different beast entirely.

When she turned to look at him, his eyes were cast down again and his head was bowed. Loose strands fell in his face. He removed his hand from the touchpad, letting it rest in his lap.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I…shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“Just bants, man.” Kitty elbowed him — not a good idea. He winced, the pain reigniting in the handprint-shaped bruise around his upper arm.

“It was disrespectful.” He closed his eyes. It was guilt — not fear — that was audible in his voice.

“I’ve never done anything respectable,” she joked.

He opened his eyes to meet her own. His expression was wholly disbelieving. It wasn’t a joke to him. She remembered how sincerely he’d spoken the other day. Thank you for saving me. She’d tried to brush it off, but her heart had hurt badly afterwards. It hurt again now.

“Don’t worry about it. Seriously.” She had to resist the urge to squeeze his shoulder the way she would with her other friends; she saw how he had flinched whenever she touched him. Thankfully, he didn’t mention it again.

The loading icon went around and around as the account was deleted. Just as soon as it stopped, the home page of the forum appeared. In bold letters, it read Sign Up.

“You gonna make a new account?” She asked.

“Do you think I should?” His hand hovered over the button. 

“I dunno. You were active way before you started posting all the leaks. I thought you were having a good time with it,” she paused, “Guess it might be kind of touchy now though?”

It did make him really anxious to be on the computer. It made him feel too much like he was about to be caught out, as little sense as it made. He started to shrug, then stopped himself. Disrespectful.

“Yes, miss,” he agreed, “It’s…touchy.”

That was putting it mildly, but he had no desire to say more. He pocketed the thought, though. He probably would get back online later. It just felt like too much to do it now, without her explicit guidance. The thought alone was starting to overwhelm him. He shifted uncomfortably.

“Can I go back in my room, miss?” He asked in a soft voice. 

“Yeah, whatever. You don’t have to ask.” She tried to reassure him. He’d gotten scared at some point; she could see it in the way he held himself. She didn’t really want for him to go off to deal with it alone, but she wasn’t going to force him to stay. She watched as he disappeared behind the door. He’d left the laptop behind. She shut it for him, then stretched upwards, climbing up onto the couch.

=======

“Does he talk to you?” Apollo would later ask her. He added, a bit dejectedly, “He doesn’t talk to me.”

“Nah.” She shook her head.

“Well, it’s still early,” Apollo started arguing with himself when she wouldn’t, “I guess he’s still scared. I’m not sure what I can say to him that isn’t going to sound trite. He always hated it when I tried say stuff like that to him over text. So defensive. I don’t know if it’ll go over better or worse now.”

She could tell he’d been thinking about it often. Fussing came so naturally to him. She’d liked it a lot when they were a little younger, when she was even crazier and badly needed someone to try and reel her back in. It isn’t lost on her that Delta has the exact opposite problem, that Apollo’s delimiting nature could have the opposite effect. He badly wanted for things to be clean.

“You shouldn’t take it purrsonally.” The pun slipped into her voice even when she was trying to be serious.

“I know,” he agreed, “I…don’t think he was allowed to talk before. It’s rude to speculate. I don’t want to be presumptuous. But.”

He threw his hands up at the wrists, not finishing the sentence. There was nothing to do but speculate. It was clear enough Delta had not been treated well; the bruises spoke for themselves. But the particulars of his behavior were a kind of puzzle box. He offered no key for it.

Galatea had dealt with Empire’s lot before, both refugees and defectors. Apollo had met many of them personally. There was always a stilted manner in which they spoke. The customs of Empire still remained enigmatic to all those living outside of it. Apollo had no way of telling how much of Delta’s behavior was just a cultural difference — or even a linguistic one — and how much of it was something deeper. He could not tell how much of it was motivated by fear or confusion or simple exhaustion. How much of it was what he wanted vs what he thought he was supposed to do. Apollo wished desperately for some kind of candor between them. Still, he understood that it would be asking a lot of him at that point. He sighed. 

========

The knock was soft and rhythmic. Delta jumped, immediately moving to hide the laptop beneath his blanket. It wasn’t as good as beneath the mattress, but decent enough on short notice. He mechanically slid off the bed, dropping onto his knees at the foot of it. The door did not open.

“Can I come in?” It was Apollo’s voice on the other side. Yes, obviously. It wasn’t locked.

“Yes, sir,” Delta answered anyway. 

Apollo pushed the door open. His eyes widened a little to see Delta kneeling, but he did not show the same visible alarm that he had before. He slid the door shut behind him, leaning back against it.

“I thought it might be good for us to talk,” Apollo said. He tried to read Delta’s body language, but it did not shift by much. Deliberately controlled. He didn’t answer, staring up at Apollo with huge eyes, patient and expectant. Apollo pushed himself on. It was trite, but if there really was any confusion about Delta’s position, it wouldn’t be right to leave him hanging.

“You can sit. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. Levon told you he wasn’t going to hurt you, didn’t he? And you know that me and Kitty won’t either? You don’t have to be scared of us. You’re safe here.”

Delta didn’t move off of the ground. His head had lowered a little bit, as if he was being scolded. He didn’t take his eyes off of Apollo. 

Apollo squatted down onto his heels, trying to get to Delta’s level.

“Are you scared?” He asked.

“…Yes, sir.” Delta nodded slowly.

“Okay,” Apollo nodded too, rubbing his chin, “That’s okay. Can I ask why?”

Delta’s wrung his hands anxiously; it was a childhood habit, one he’d mostly gotten out of by the time he’d graduated. It’d returned with a vengeance.

“I don’t know.” He said shamefully. “Sir. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay. I just wanted to check in on how you’re feeling. I can’t tell a lot of the time. You know you can talk to me or Kitty if you’re upset, right? We want you to be comfortable here. You can tell us if something is wrong.”

Apollo doubted it even as he said it. It seemed unlikely that Delta would come to them for anything, that he might not be physically capable of it at this point. But if he introduced the idea early — and reminded him often — it might start to sink in. For the time being, Delta did not respond.

“I’m assuming the kneeling is a habit, right?” Apollo ventured. Delta seemed a bit alarmed at the suggestion. 

“It’s just to be respectful. Sir.” Delta explained in a quiet voice.

He considered this. It might’ve been easier if it was just muscle memory, not a deliberate effort on Delta’s part. The mindset would be harder to get him out of. But Apollo was very glad that Delta had been willing to explain his reasoning to him. It was a good sign.

“Okay. You don’t have to,” He stated very clearly, “You can stand up. We won’t think it’s disrespectful. No one else will, either. You don’t have to do it.”

Again, not much changed in Delta’s expression. He offered the same quiet noise of affirmation, not voicing anything else. 

“Do you have any questions?” Apollo cursed himself for not asking sooner. But Delta didn’t take advantage of the opportunity the way he had hoped. 

“No, sir.” Delta folded his hands in his lap. He’d answered too soon. Apollo wondered if the question had come across as bullying. He got the sense he was starting to push too far out of Delta’s comfort zone. 

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything. Like I said, you can talk to us whenever. We’re right out here.” He stood up, feeling a little bad that Delta was still kneeling. He started to close the door.

He heard a soft “Thank you” just before it clicked shut.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat

[mysticmellowlove]

can we get another yandere chat / yandere streamer please I really wanna know where the three people went

note; omg i'm fucking alive holy shit. i'm in exam period right now and i swear the universe is trying to take me out. shit's rough out here lol. I've been rattling the bars of my enclosure waiting to get out and write some more. missed you guys, cute lil friends xxx

warnings; yan chat is back, yan streamer, reader 'sugar', yandere tendencies, gang violence, they mean frfr,

word count; 1123

After logging off for the day and raiding one of his friends Streamer found himself checking on his discord, in particular the chat he had going on with three of his long-time fans, affectionately titled his three musketeers to respect their anonymity. The ones that had been with him since the beginning when he had no viewers and a silly dream of becoming a popular creator.

To think that he had that in his foreseeable future, it was intoxicating. Fans, money and most of all influence. Of course, he couldn't forget about his lovely mod as well.

His eyes scanned over the private chat with a satisfied grin on his face, they had found him. For a while now there was one particular chatter that was getting on his nerves. No matter how much Sugar banned them they always seemed to find a way back. He had been trying to appeal to Sugar for weeks now, always mentioning them and gifting various rewards that were specifically aimed towards the beloved mod.

Streamer knew things sometimes got a little parasocial when it came to internet personalities. Still, something about this creep trying desperately to get close to Sugar had his blood boiling as if he was using the chat as an e-dating server. He wasn't the only one either, it seemed.

A call button appeared on his screen for a moment before he adjusted his settings and answered it, the people chatting on the other side becoming more and more apparent.

"The man of the hour." One of them jovially said, a playful lilt to her voice. Porthos always seemed to be the one ready to talk, with perhaps a little too much energy to seem natural. It seemed her words had set in motion the other two greeting him, one with their ever-present modulated voice covering their identity and the other sounding like he'd just finished smoking a pack of cigarettes.

"Hey you, I see some interesting things in the chat." He hummed as he took a sip of the coke he had next to him, waiting for the three to fill him in.

"Yeah, we tracked down the guy in the chat that was bothering Sugar, it was laughably easy." Porthos mused, the low hum of who knows what buzzing in the background.

"He had his details all out in the open, turns out using multiple emails all leading to the same IP is a dead giveaway." She said before a sniffle interrupted her.

"Don't take all the credit, it was only because I have access to the city records that we even found him," Athos noted.

"Technically I did most of the work." The final of the three, the one who hid behind the voice changer, Aramis chimed in. The other two seemed to stop talking as soon as they spoke up, for good reason as well. There was something different about Aramis, but their knowledge was gladly welcomed.

"I assume you're all waiting for the finale?" They monotonously droned as the sounds of clicking came from their mic. Not long after a window popped up, fileshare. Without needing to do anything the file opened to a video and began to play.

The camera work was jittery but it was obvious what was in the middle of the screen. On the ground, legs and arms bound, was a middle-aged man wriggling. There was a group of men surrounding him, masked and dressed entirely in black with a badly stitched logo on their jackets.

No sounds came from the men as they drew ominously closer, that's when things really picked up. Their feet began to slam into the sides of the bound man, muffled screams coming from his gagged mouth as he tried desperately to wriggle away. Hands ripped at his clothing, showcasing the darkened bruises on his skin as the men continued their assault. The video tracked for about twenty minutes, all of it consisted of the men beating the shit out of the man on the ground. Screams turned to groans turned to whimpers as a mixture of piss, tears and blood mixed on the ground he was on.

His body seemed to turn entirely blotched with bruises as the video went on and on before no more sounds appeared to leave the man. Then the footage cut.

The silence seemed to wane on for a moment before Athos spoke up.

"That's some dark web shit or something." The only response he seemed to get was a clipped laugh from Aramis.

"I like supporting local businesses." It was no secret that Aramis was the only one of them who dared to play around on the darker side of the internet but damn were they good at it. Who knew what they got up to after hours, but it wasn't hard to tell that he had hired someone to beat the shit out of the creep.

"He's gone, probably being sold right now, well that parts of him that made it out unscathed. Don't worry, these guys are newbies but the group they're part of don't play around." A low whistle left his mouth as he listened to Aramis ramble about the exploit.

"You're a freak for real." Porthos laughed, seemingly having gathered herself, "Now that's dealt with I think we should get something in exchange, don't you?"

He rolled his eyes as he scanned the now blank screen.

"I'll organise something." He began before he was cut off rudely.

"Not something, we know you know where they are so why don't you get us all a little gift." Athos drawled. A harried sigh left his mouth as he tugged at the strands of his hair. The three of them were his fans, their support over the years had helped grow his platform greatly and they did fund most of his activities but... that also meant he had to keep them pleased.

Athos eluded that he was a well-known figure in the city, Aramis had ties to the black market and Porthos seemed to have no boundaries... they could very well take him down if they wanted to.

"Sure, I'll pick something up." He finally managed to get out, his voice obviously strained. All that greeted him was a chorus of laughter as the call ended. He stared at the screen for a moment more, thinking about the logistics of breaking into Sugar's apartment before a notification came through.

'Good boy' With a scoff he closed the application and got off his chair, annoyance swelling inside him. He was still closer to Sugar than them, he didn't have to panic yet.

[abschaumno1]

How Not To Distance Yourself From Fandom Drama As A Youtuber

Hi,

this is addressing what Scott Smajor said on stream regarding recent twitter harrassment of Ecto. I will preempt this by saying that I have known Ecto for a few years now and I support them. I think I have made my stance on "problematic content" and antis clear in the past, but to summarise: I am against censorship and harrassment. People can and should create whatever they want. If someone has an issue with what they make they should block and move on.

With that out of the way, what did Smajor actually say?

If you don't want to go to TikTok to hear it here's a transcript:

“If you don’t know what this is about, that is fine, you can stay not knowing. But if you do, this is me mentioning it, okay? I’m gonna do it. So. I’m going to try keep this short and simple, as I just want to clear some stuff up, I do not support proshipping. And until yesterday, I had no idea what proshipping was. Um, after last MCC, I removed, uh, Twitter from my phone, and I would only use it if I was on my laptop while I was travelling to VidCon and visiting [?]. So, on Saturday I was packing up my stuff and I checked Twitter before I shut off my laptop and noticed that an artist I followed, um, was receiving death threats and hate. And, me, not knowing fully what was going on, I shot them a DM along the lines of ‘sorry you’re getting hate’. Um, and then I logged out and flew home [?]. That was my mistake, as I should not have said anything without fully reading what was going on. Um, I’d just seen someone upset and wanted to help. After I got home and found out what was happening, I realised that people were saying that my DM meant I supported it, again, I do not. Um, I immediately unfollowed the artist, and have since told them that I do not- I did not realise the full degree of what had happened. Um, since this, I have made the decision to step away from Twitter, really. Um, I’m gonna do my best not to log in to look at it, um, or if you, or someone you know, is affected by this stuff, please do find the help you need, and take steps, uh, to protect your own mental well-being, like I am. Um, I would also like to say that my boundaries, um, with fanart and such has changed, and I am no longer okay with NSFW art of me or my characters. Um, and, that is the last I am going to talk on this subject. — As I said, chat, if you don’t know what it is, or what’s going on, enjoy the ignorance, enjoy the bliss. Just, you don’t need to know anything, nothing else is happening here, we’re not talking about it, we’re not going to be answering questions in chat, that’s it. Done."

(See also this twitter thread)

I'm not gonna inspect every word in that tbh and I've talked extensively about what I think of creator boundaries in fandom before so I'll spare you guys that. But there are a few points I want to address.

"And until yesterday, I had no idea what proshipping was."

I will say that I have no idea how the term was explained to him or where he got his definition from. I do know there are various definitions floating around the internet, often biased in their approach. It might be that he got one of the definitions that was heavily biased towards the anti side. I won't judge him for that. The internet, and this discourse in particular is hard enough to navigate for someone who knows their way around it.

I will also acknopwledge that it might be hard for an outsider to understand any of it in the first place.

Which is why I think the statement "I do not support proshipping" is not the statement to make in this situation. This is not a discussion he has any experience with. And I am perfectly aware of how loud antis can get, particularly on twitter. This should not be a statement. Not just because I disagree with it. He is entitled to his opinion, as am I to my own. But because as a youtuber or any other celebrity or creative, you have to realise where your space ends and fandom begins and you have to realise that fandom will have its own rules and discussions and terms.

Honestly, it's like walking into a foreign country, reading one newspaper and starting to make statements about their politics. It can and will go wrong.

Here's the thing. If you truly think you have to make a statement addressing this particular issue, while completely ignoring any other criticims thrown at you by a lot of the same people who are saying a lot of things about this, try and make an informed statement. And maybe think about the message your sending to your viewers.

Ecto received harrassment, suicide bait, death threads, and got doxxed on top of it all. I would think someone who's been on the receiving end of harrassment the way Scott has been would at the very basic least be able to address that.

Instead, what he actually said amounts to "I don't support them. I wash my hands of all of it. I don't care what you guys do with them."

At best the harrassers will feel vindicated and quiet down. At worst he just enabled them to find their next targets.

I don't think it matters what he (or anyone else really) thinks about the content that Ecto was harrassed over. No one has to like it. But that does not mean there should be any doubt about the fact that harrassment and doxxing are wrong and that there should be no space for that. Not suppporting someone is one thing. Being someone with a platform who makes a statement like this, effectively giving in to people who have harrassed someone with a vastly smaller platform, without even mentioning that the harrassment is not okay, is a very different thing.

I understand that Scott might also be trying to protect his own mental health. I understand his history with twitter. But I will say that telling affected people to "take steps to protect your own mental well-being" is not the statement I personally think he should be making. I guess we'll just leave everything to the loudest, worst people then instead of even pretending what they're doing is not okay.

Hands down, the statement he made feels very much like he's saying "but surely the leopards won't eat my face". It's only been a day and MCC teams were released. The leopards on twitter are eating his face once again. And I wager I am not the only one out there who now knows that a youtuber we enjoyed watching would rather side with people who send death threats and doxx others than their victims.

[leiflitter]

I've figured out the You’re Almost Home Timeline so for the gang who care about the passage of time it's under the cut.

Firstly, I have chosen to totally ignore the gravestone dates because of Reasons, including "okay look I started writing this when it wasn't on streaming and this is mostly so it makes sense to me" and "time is an illusion I just need to know this so I can say what year it'll be on NYE". Felix has a January birthday in my little canon and nobody can stop me.

So let's go!

2007

Felix is in Expensive Rehab Facility until Christmas. Sir James and Lady Elspeth have pulled a lot of strings to make sure that Felix's accident won't impact him in any way, shape or form. This mostly means getting him an expensive tutor and essentially permission to submit all of his work online. No need for tutorials because he's had a hard time and is a very special boy. Felix takes this chance to essentially do as much work while he's stuck in the facility as he can because there's fuck all else to do, and he's being made to quit smoking so he's mad about that. Farleigh's back as if he never left, and Venetia is being an absolute rock.

Oliver returns to Oxford, makes contact with the Student Counselling Services, and throws himself into studying so hard it hurts. He needs to distract himself. They allow him to switch tutors and move to a different dorm where he turns into a studying hermit. If he sees any of the Alpha Hotties, he hides. He becomes invisible again, even more than before. His new tutor helps him switch to an accelerated degree program.

2008

Felix turns 21 and does the Spring and Summer terms. His parents decide to go on a tour of Europe to celebrate Felix getting back on the horse. They also know he's going to graduate, because the Special Little Boy measures are in place for him so all he has to really do is log on to Moodle and submit one of his pre-written essays every so often. He's burned a few bridges because he's being very twattish. Felix decides to sack off Christmas term and heads to Bali in late July/early August. Sir James has made sure he has internet access, so what's the point of even being in Oxford? He meets Lucia, who is 18 and on her Gap Year. Because it's the end of the summer, there aren't many options, so Felix sticks with her. Harry is part of the group from maybe like... week three? Luckily, Lucia is on a cleanse, so although they're partying, she isn't drinking or indulging in anything else. In November, Lu gets food poisoning- or so they think, until the doctor Felix hauls her to gives them the news. Felix contacts his parents in a hurry, and they are flown back to the UK and subjected to a major parental conference. Felix proposes to Lu at a Catton Christmas party.

Oliver graduates early. He doesn't go home for the holidays, saying he needs to keep studying. He decides on teaching because it won't be sustainable to be a student forever. His tutor is a major help; he's from Newcastle, although you wouldn't know it because his accent has long since faded and has taken Oliver under his wing. He remains Oliver's main advisor throughout his studies and is probably the reason he gets the job- he's keeping an eye on him so he knows there'll be a Northern Lad Professor once he eventually retires. They're not exactly friends, but there's a lot of mutual respect there.

2009

Felix turns 22 and marries Lu shortly after. He briefly returns to Oxford, but mostly to make sure he graduates. Harry is born in on the 10th of April and he gets his degree in absentia. Lu gets pregnant with Ru maybe a little too soon afterwards, and Rufus is born prematurely on the 27th of November. Oopsie.

2010

Oliver gets his Masters degree in english literature.

2011

Sir James dies of a heart attack in May.

2013

Ellie is born on the 1st of August. Felix gets a vasectomy.

2014

Oliver gets his PhD. His thesis was titled "Narrative Accessibility and Diversity within Academia".

2015

Lady Elspeth passes away in her sleep.

Then a bit of a time jump until

2020

Oliver is finally an associate professor after being in postdoc for 6 years.

Farleigh finally hits on a startup that works- a designer resale app that offers item verification for an add-on fee. It's wildly successful, mostly because he's been hobnobbing in America hardcore and is getting a ton of celebrity endorsements.

2025

Venetia is diagnosed with lung cancer.

2026

Venetia passes away. Felix is bereft.

Harry gets her A level results and Oxford place, despite being 17- Lucia, having not got a degree herself, is adamant that her children be highly educated as fast as possible... and Harry will turn 18 in her first year anyway. Harry doesn't mind this, as she has a fake ID and cannot wait to be away from boring boarding schools.

Oliver Quick receives an email notifying him that, amongst others, he will be tutoring Harriet Catton.

And then Felix Catton walks into his office, and they proceed to go bonkers.

[siffrin-enthusiast]

angry system and radqueer/“transdisabled” vent here, interactions okay except for radqueers. make your own post and keep it far away from real disabled people. tws for mentions of death, trauma, and hospitals.

this is not syscourse. this is my experience as a traumagenic system. this is not a commentary on anyone else except for radqueers.

i truly despise how sometimes DID is seen as a “quirky” or “fun” disorder where you get your favorite characters as imaginary friends. do you know why i split one of my silly fictional characters? for reasons i won’t disclose because i know basic internet safety, i almost died as a child. i came very, very close to dying. i was in the hospital for months and all i had to keep me from thinking that god, i nearly died was a fictional character. as much as i post about loving my system (which i really do! they saved me!) it is undoubtedly the worst thing that has ever happened to us. i would never wish this upon anyone. if i could be a singlet, if i could be whole, i would. everyone in this brain would make the same decision.

i make light of it because for the i’m going to be stuck here with living, breathing reminders of my worst traumas and if i don’t joke about it, i’m going to lose it. i only remember my early life through flashbacks. most days are a blur, weeks and months slipping by in a few blinks. i’m barely remembering to go to my college classes, and when i manage to get there (on time, too!), i don’t remember the lectures anyway. i might have to drop out until my therapist and i can figure out something to stop my body from thinking i’m going to be hurt again every time i walk into a classroom. i’m about to lose it.

i’m too tired for “syscourse”. i really am. but while we’re here, radqueer “build a headmate!!” things? you’re fucking sick. do you know that? you’re sick in the head. log off and go to a real mental health professional. “transDID” is sick. it wasn’t enough to fake it? you had to make a mockery of us, too? are you happy, loudly proclaiming that you’re roleplaying having a horrible mental illness? aren’t you ashamed? (i know they’re not. that would require them to care about anyone besides themselves.) there’s a reason none of the “transdisabled” people go to therapy, and it’s because they know they’d be rightfully diagnosed with factitious disorder. i sincerely hope you all find therapists who can provide you with what you actually need, because i promise it’s not roleplaying mental disorders on tumblr. in the meantime, i’m blocking and moving on. i’ve cried enough tears over my disorder and i know i’ll cry more of them. i’m not letting you add to my suffering.

DID/OSDD isn’t a joke or a game. it’s the result of repeated, continuous childhood trauma that the brain has no choice but to break itself in pieces to hide the trauma from itself. it ruined my life. it still ruins my life. it’s taken years in therapy to get to the point of knowing why i’m so dysfunctional, and it’ll take many years more to start becoming more functional. i make light of it here because this is my escape, for a moment, where i can be a normal, happy person instead of a traumatized shell of an adult who is really still the scared kid that wasn’t supposed to make it this long. i don’t have “friends” in my head. i have fragments of my psyche clinging to whatever takes me away from the flashbacks. do you understand?

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[c00kiejar]

This song...

I've never really made a proper post before, just shitposts and the occasional art thing. I want to make one to properly express how I feel right now and why this song represents it perfectly. I will warn you first, however, that this mentions a certain YouTuber who was recently completely destroyed on Twitter and my personal experience as a viewer, and may delve into some not-too-happy thoughts

Still here? Let's dive in

It all starts way back when I was still a kid. I was navigating the wonderful site known as YouTube, trying to find videos on videogames and, specifically, I think it was Super Paper Mario. I had no idea how to beat Chapter 2-3 (the Ruby debt one), and I needed help. That's when I stumbled across a YouTuber called Chuggaaconroy (a.k.a. Emile). The way he provided all the information I needed in one video was exactly what I needed. I couldn't subscribe to his channel because I didn't have a Google account, so I just periodically checked his channel, eventually learning he uploaded every day at 5 PM, perfect for younger me. I'd watch his videos when they came out, loving every single one. I eventually discovered his collab channel, The Runaway Guys, and loved that channel even more. He, Proton Jon (Jon) and NintendoCapriSun (Tim) entertained me for YEARS with their content. I even branched out into Jon's streaming community, becoming a semi-regular artist on the booru for a time (you can still find my stuff there under the name TehSm1tty. Not my best work, but I still like some of it). Years come and go, and I have my fair share of mental health troubles, but I'd always find Emile, Jon, and Tim there to brighten my days.

Fast forward to sometime last week. I've been pretty inactive on Twitter aside from my alts, but I decided to see what was popping on main. I log in and get recommended a post with the hashtag "WeStandWithChugga". I had no idea what was going on, so I looked into it. I won't go into detail here, but the jist of it is that Emile was a total creep to many women and even drove wedges between himself and good friends because of this weird behavior. There's a lot more to this than just that, but the point is that it shattered my view of him. I knew he was pushy and that always kinda annoyed me, but the extent of it broke me. For a few days now, I've been having a rough go of it. I mean, my childhood YouTuber just got outed as a complete creep and has some serious allegations of being at least a lolicon, at worst a pedo. I've been down and out for days, and it just wouldn't stop. That is, until I found out that Tim has a Reddit account. I never knew this (or, well, maybe I did and just forgot. Idfk), and was amazed to learn that Tim's been keeping Reddit updated on what he's able/willing to share. Turns out Emile's getting the help he needs at a legit mental hospital and that he's ok. That's what made everything stop. Hearing he's ok. After all the shit Emile has done, he's still a human being and doesn't deserve to have the whole internet turn on him in a fraction of a second. Hearing a fellow human is ok made me feel better. I'm not letting him off the hook, and I do not believe he should ever be forgiven for what he's done, but if he is willing to better himself and become a better person, I am more than willing to believe in that Emile.

Now to come to roughly 40 minutes ago. I decide to boot up Satisfactory and play a bit, but I have no idea what to listen to while I do. I put on a song but quickly get bored of it, and then I see "OMORI | Do You Remember? | Extended" in my recommendations. I put it on and instantly, as if I were splashed in the face by water, I wake up and feel better. I was still stressed about everything going on (I'm set to go to college in September, AND my folks are headed to Mexico in about a week, so I'm stressed from those too), but with the first note on the piano, everything faded. All my swirling negative emotions were replaced with a somber peace. I'm still hurt by the last week's revelations, and I'm never going to truly recover (who could?), but I'm moving on. I think my comment on the video describes how I feel best; "The sad yet peaceful feeling this song evokes in me... It's pretty much how I feel today. I feel at peace... or, well, mostly. There's still pain, and there always will be, but I can move on and I'll live. In the future, I'll look back on this last week and feel sad, but that'll be in the future when this is all over with for good, so I can also look back at before it and be happy that those good times happened. Nothing will ever be the same, but such is the way of the world. Saying goodbye is saying hello to the future, and we all need to do that eventually. Who knows what the future may hold? I, for one, can't wait to see. Hello future, and goodbye sadness".

Chuggaaconroy was an inspiration and a light in the sea of darkness for so, so many, and these revelations have snuffed the light he provided out. What I hope is that Emile takes a long, long break from the internet to become the person we all believed him to be, to truly become that bright light in the dark, rather than just another dark figure holding a flashlight. I don't hope for that as a supporter of him as I don't support who he is right now (as if I haven't said it enough), I hope for that as a fellow human who only wishes to see everyone become the best version of themself.

I think this post was exactly what I needed. I've finally gotten everything out in a cohesive (maybe?) and healthy manner, and I'm ready to become my best self. I will be beginning work on YouTube videos tomorrow, and will hopefully be posting Thursdays at 5 PM (in honor of DatPags whom has not uploaded in a long time).

To anyone who finished reading this post, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please, go become your best self, but do not do so by putting others down. Better yourself and acknowledge your flaws, overcome them, and do not repeat Emile's mistakes. Learn from those around you.

Yours truly,

Cookie_Jar of Tumblr dot com

[inneskeeper-receipts]

edit: hey to all the people reblogging this from Innes, would you like to please read the rest of the contents of my blog and care about the emotional abuse & beastiality as well? I think that's maybe more important than whether or not Innes is lying about being trans like they lie about so many other things.

Oh so my ex is "coming out as trans" now? Right when I finally start to talk about what he has done and who he really is? FASCINATING timing.

You can't she/her your way out of this one and I'm so tired of seeing cis people lie about their gender experiences on the internet to get away with abuse! Holy fucking shit!!! Especially when I know for a fact that this isn't genuine.

I really do believe in self identification and taking people as they come and believing someone when they tell me what they are, but I knew him for several years and he told me himself that he is frequently purposefully dishonest and/or vague about what minority group he affiliates himself with online so that he can get away with more polarizing opinions by weaponizing the identity politics so prevalent on this website. I cannot trust anything he says about himself and neither should you.

We had discussions on gender many a time and I'll be able to dig up receipts so as long as I am able to get into old discord accounts (&assuming he doesn't delete old messages?), but even when I suggested that he may want to explore his gender identity at one point during one of these discussions he said that he had, and that he was comfortably cis. Which is fine! I love men, I am a huge boyliker, I just think it's healthy to get to know yourself better and going on a Gender Journey can help sometimes

Later on, near the end of the relationship, he would gaslight me and say that he "never identified as cis" & was "always a little nonbinary" and now suddenly he's been trans for 13 years. I'm so tired of this shit?

He does all of this shit for attention. I know it, he knows it. And he doesn't not need attention, it's just that Internet Points don't fucking do anything to help you become better in any way!! He literally needs to go to log the fuck off, get therapy, and become medicated, but I will never be able to trust that he actually is doing that because him lying about going to therapy for a month straight, while giving me details about his therapist (who did not exist) and the therapy sessions themselves (which did not, at any point, actually occur) is the reason why I went no-contact with him.

[alpaca-clouds]

I sure miss .hack/

One anime series - or rather multimedia franchise - I have an immense amount of nostalgia for, even though it was never as big of the thing, as some others, is .hack/

Given it has been a while, since the franchise released something new, let me quickly explain:

.hack/ is a multimedia franchise, that features stories set in a VR MMORPG called The World. Originally the story featured the conceit that some players for some reason got "stuck" in the game, unable to log out, while their physical bodies fell into a coma. Just as there was a mystery featuring the AIs, that for some reason had evolved in the game's mainframe - and a mysterious artefact called the Key of Twilight.

I honestly do not know what it was about this, that spoke to me so much. But I was early on very fascinated by the idea of a VR MMO - even though we of course know today that it is something that is probably not easily achievable. (In a weird way, franchises like .hack/ kinda had the right idea by having the physical bodies turn into a near comatose state while playing, which would probably help the motion sickness...)

It was one of the first anime I pirated back in the. xD Even though I did not get to play the game until I was an adult, given that I was not allowed to have a game console as a child.

I know a lot of people, who found .hack/SIGN, the first anime series of the franchise, rather boring as it has a really, really slow pacing. Like, wow, the pacing is really slow. But... to me it really worked. There was an intrigue about the series and how it explored The World. (Not to mention that from today's perspective the main character is easily read as a trans guy.) And yes, of course the Yuki Kajiura soundtrack played heavily into it.

See, one of my big first online memories is playing the browser based game, that Bandai was hosting back then. A game mostly frequented by Japanese players, so I was trying my very best to keep up with where the chat was going. And when we were "playing" (it was not so much of a game, really) together, it was always a headache to find a timeslot, where me and the Japanese folks could meet up.

Most of all, I think, the series weirdly captured that early 2000s online culture quite well. This is especially true for the more comedy heavy and cutsy "Legend of the Twilight" series. (Man, I need to rebuy that manga at some point.) Which just very much captured the feeling of just meeting online with friends from all over the world, who you might never meet, and... yeah. Just hang xD

But also the plot so often kinda had this undertone of "The World belongs to the players, not the company". Because especially in "Legend of the Twilight", but in the other entries too, one of the central conflicts comes from the company hosting The World trying to control the mysteries - especially the AIs. While the player characters are fighting against it and ending up siding with the AI.

Something, that feels strangely accurate to the modern internet, where the big, near monopolistic companies try control the user experience more and more, rather than letting users decide about their own experience.

The franchise of .hack// seems to be long dead and forgotten by Bandai and development studio CyberConnect2. The last game that released was .hack//Link, the last other media was the .hack// movie in 2012, that apparently passed everyone by either way.

To put it differently: It has been 11 years, since some new media released for that franchise. And it does not seem that anything is in the works to keep up with it. Especially as Bandai has taken the official international website off the net in 2020.

Technically, of course, a Switch Remaster of the .hack//GU games released in Japan last year for the franchises 20th anniversary - but it does not seem as if there are any plans to release it worldwide.

Maybe the franchise had its perfect moment in time in those early 2000s, when the internet really felt like an entire World that was there for us to explore.

But man, I miss this franchise. I had so much fun with it. And I just... love The World.

Also I need to leave this banger opening for .hack//Link with you. Because darn, I love this thing.

PS: If any of you went like "That kinda sounds like Sword Art Online" at this... Yeah, I to this day have the slight suspicion that Reki Kawahara was "lightly" inspired by .hack//. Because really, the entire SAO stuff to me is ".hack// but with less interesting characters and world building".

[yallemagne]

This year, I'm not doing Dr*cula D*ily

Or any other substack but DD is the biggest. I have numerous reasons for this decision that none of y'all are gonna particularly care for, but ya know, just so we got our expectations in order: I'm not gonna participate in DD this year (maybe never again), I'm probably not gonna reblog many posts related to it (doing so would be counterintuitive), but I am holding myself to finishing Orice (at LEAST the base fic).

Now, why?

TL;DR: Mental health crisis brought on by internet harassment and overprioritizing social media. It's not fun anymore, folks.

DD just... it completely ruined the novel for me.

It was a nice phenomenon, but it took a wrecking ball to my mental health and self-worth. Now, I'm not saying DD's creator personally did something to spite me (or maybe I am, he knows what he did /j), but this whole thing? It wasn't good for me. It was never good. It was sometimes fun, but most of the time it made me want to end it because of thumblr notes.

That's fucking stupid. My life is not worth internet validation. My art is not worthless just because my numbers are not as big as the biggest big shots in the fandom. I'm not a horrible person when other people handle personal disagreements regarding headcanon with defaming rumours and impersonation. But hell! My view of reality was horribly skewed.

A while back, I unfollowed all the gothlit tags I previously followed because 1) Some people (active and popular members of the fandom, mind you, not bots or trolls) were posting honest-to-god name-dropping harassment in the tag because "it's a popular tag so more people will see my callout post" and 2) I reached a point where seeing anything related to the novel on my dash just set me off. It didn't even need to be drama-related anymore. Mentions of the characters, mentions of popular AUs, just the very content of this book became triggering to me, and I really didn't miss the content when it was gone, as sad as that is.

And the kicker? I've come to realize that I probably dislike more things about the novel than I actually like about it. Not only is it tied to some of my darkest moments in recent memory, but it's also just... a book with many flaws that I could go on and on and on about. Sometimes, it straight-up made me furious, like seething mad, and I think I'd rather just be happy. But even when I would try to channel that energy into being happy, I always felt I had to over-clarify or else I’d get bombarded with anonymous messages. If you’ve seen any of my posts from during that time… chances are there is a passive aggressive “btw people can have opposing opinions from you about an old book and it doesn’t give you leave to stone them” or several tags of “#this is a joke #a jooooooke #for the love of god #if y’all don’t stop”. I bet it was as annoying for y’all as it was for me.

P.S. Mutuals/friends, do not worry. Y'all keep doing y'all. I can and will block tags if seeing your posts triggers me. So, I suppose my only request is to properly tag, but I've been saying that from the very start.

I just want to move on to other things.

I took a break for Lent. I needed it terribly. And... not gonna lie? I almost didn't want to return. I never got an itching to just log on and "check in". I very successfully avoided tumb altogether. I came back because "I gotta come back eventually" and also like, this is my main hub where I update when I've written a fic, and ya know... I'm not gonna let toxic fandom bs rule my shit.

During my break, I got back into gaming. More specifically, I started playing Hades again. And listening to Epic the Musical. Aaaand boyyy did that bring me back to my Greek mythology phase. I have a Greek mythos/Hades sideblog btw: @areopagusimp. It's cringe, if you can't tell by the blog name.

Back when I was into Hades game and general Greek mythos, my expectations were so much smaller, but yet, my goals and will to create seemed so much bigger. I made art that no one gave a single solitary shit about (except for my friend), but I was happy. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted glasses, but... even if I wasn't as happy then as I remember being... haha at least I wasn't receiving threats and insults in my inbox back then :))). That was the most fun thing about the gothlit fandom. I hope every single chickenhearted angry anon is proud of their behaviour.

But yeah, whatever I end up doing, I’m striving to not let it run me into the ground.

But... What do I do now?

I have so many WIPs (art and writing) for the novel, and it's very disappointing that I didn't get to finish them before it all turned sour. Hopefully, I can still finish them, it just won't be with the same distress I worked with before. Hopefully, I can post that stuff and fully manage my expectations, not crash and burn when only a few people like it. Because hell! A few people liking my stuff? That's amazing, really. I shouldn't take that for granted. At the same time, I'm setting a boundary for myself. Placing my self-worth into the hands of people who I don't know, who don't know me, and who aren't even paying for the art? I need to stop that. Who the hell is that gonna serve? Absolutely no one.

My number one goal is to finish Orice. It is somehow untouched by my aversion to the novel; it is my safe space. I want to honour it and honour the longtime readers who have stuck with me. It's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be worth it for me.

This feels attention-seeking, and it kinda is. I'm not tagging the main subject and I'm not allowing reblogs because I want this to stay isolated (and hopefully prevent backlash/misunderstandings), but ya know, no matter how much I try to keep this small, I'm still posting it online. But I just feel like I needed to get this off my chest. I don't really owe everyone an explanation, but I want there to be one for my own sake... also it's much easier to generalize and make a post than contact each of my friends/mutuals on here and unload stuff onto them that I'm not sure is too personal or not.

For those of you who are reading: I love y'all. I love the good people I've met through all this mess. I want to keep the good apples, not throw out the whole harvest, alright? Dunno how much you'll care for my art when the subject is different, but... eh. If y'all are willing to try?

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

1.0, Big Brother (0% technophobic)

These are tech bros and billionaire executives, the kind of people who push for AI facial recognition, data tracking, and mind reading technology (metaphorically, until actual mind reading technology becomes viable, in which case, literally). If you give them an email address you haven't touched since 2006, in less than a day they'd have a file full of your personal information thicker than the FBI's and NSA's combined. Down here, you have guys like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and most politicians (especially after 9/11. Can you say USA PATRIOT Act?)

1.1 - 3.2

Here, you'll find the fanboys of the above. Guys who are really into NFTs and crypto. Influencers and blue checks who crave attention and show off all their 4 figure phones, 5 figure workout equipment, and 6 or 7 figure cars. The kind of rich assholes who think they're tech savvy because every appliance in their home connects to the internet and requires a subscription service in order to not vent deadly neurotoxin through their air ducts. These are all small fish who aspire to be big fish; the 1.Xs will throw themselves under the bus to protect the 1.0s, while the 2.Xs will get thrown under the bus involuntarily.

3.2, True Neutral (50%)

Because this is a log scale, the actual center is 3.16227766 (the square root of 10). 3.2 represents Average Joe American, the type of guy who doesn't care about the state of technology one way or the other. He probably doesn't own an Alexa or Ring camera, only because he's never thought of buying one (3.1) or thinks it would be too much of a hassle to set up (3.3). If facebook asked him for a 3d scan of his head to try out a new memoji, he'd upload it without hesitation. He thinks cops shouldn't need a warrant to spy on the Bad Guys™, and recently voted for politicians who wrote the Let Cops Decide Who is Good and Who is Bad With Impunity Bill (though he will never connect dots between his actions and their consequences). "Why should you care if you have nothing to hide?" This guy buys his friends and family $100 send-in-your-spit DNA tests for Christmas.

3.2 - 5.0

I'd say most of the people reading this fall somewhere around here, though they think they're much higher. Hell, I'm probably a mid-4, but until I actually started plotting out this scale I would have guessed I was a 6 or a 7. High 5 at least! 3.Xs don't know how to pirate things and begrudgingly subscribe to some or all the major streaming services. 4.Xs don't use facebook anymore, but are still on twitter because that's where all the people they follow post from. These people are vaguely aware of how bad things could potentially be, but have no clue how bad they really are; if you suspect you're in this range, please know that every single service you've ever given your email address to is connected to your name in a database somewhere, even if you faked all the rest of the info you gave out. If you signed up to a grocery store value card, advertisers immediately know every single item you've ever purchased, and can even make assumptions based on the purchases of people you are in close proximity to every day (your phone is close to this other person's phone from 9 to 5, so you're probably co-workers, or they're close from 6pm to 6am, so you live together, etc.)

5.0 - 6.0

A little healthy skepticism to help shield your brain from the fact that you live in an Orwellian surveillance state. You use adblocker and VPNs, you don't carry your phone with you 24/7, you use burner emails for every different website (though it won't make much difference because they're all being accessed from the same device, so it wouldn't take any government entity more than a couple seconds to figure out they all belong to the same person). If 3.2 is blissfully ignorant, 5.2 is in living hell because they KNOW what's up and are powerless to do anything about it.

6.0 - 8.0

These are the REAL tech savvy people who don't use social media, have zero smart appliances in their homes, and rely heavily on physical media. We should all strive to be here. In the upper 7s you get privacy activists who know deep down that the system will never be able to fix itself but still hope against hope that it will.

8.0 - 9.9

These people scare me, not because they actually get shit done but because they have delusions of grandeur and TALK about how much shit they'll get done. Most libertarians think they're up here, but really they're down in the 4s and 5s with the rest of us. Real 8s and 9s are batshit Tyler Durden wannabes who think they can change the world by planning terror attacks "in minecraft." They never do anything because they either get caught or chicken out because it's more fun to plan for the singularity or the collapse of the grid than to actually carry out said plans. These are doomsday preppers and dude-bros who are little different than qanon nutjobs (except that qanon supports Big Brother)

10.0, Full Kaczynski (100%)

You are Theodore John Kaczynski, you live in a shack in the woods and you mail bombs to universities. NEVER GO FULL KACZYNSKI. You'll never succeed in hurting any substantial 1s or 2s, just innocent 3s and 4s. In reality, Ted cared more about industrialization and the environment than computers and the police state, but the internet didn't exist in the 70s. The modern world is built upon man made horrors beyond his imagination.

I guess I subscribe to a lopsided horseshoe theory; instead of both sides being equally bad at the extremes, the lower end is worse because it is much more powerful and influential. There are more 1.Xs than 9.Xs, but you'll hear about the 9s in the news a lot more often. You're more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark, or by a cop than an undocumented immigrant, but we all know that quantity isn't what gets reported on, now is it?

I dunno, take this scale with a grain of salt. It's all subjective.

[pathetichimbos]

Thanking the gods that I tend to hyperfixate on more obscure characters because I really don't think I could survive being in one of these modern fanspaces.

Remember back in the day, when someone would make an AU, and the entire website would flood with fics and fanarts of it, and people wouldn't be meekly begging the creator for permission to use it? Everyone just had that sense of community that let them share things, and people weren't so obsessed with credit and ownership? All you had to do was link back to their post/blog and no one questioned it?

Or when a writer/artist, big or small, could say "I need space", or nothing at all, and disappear for a while to focus on themselves, and everyone minded their business, wished them well, and patiently waited for their return?

Remember when fandoms were a safe space from the real world, where we could all gather and enjoy the media, with the occasional ship war or two, and we weren't constantly being policed about how we participate?

I have seen so many posts nowadays that are absolutely batshit fucking crazy. And don't get me wrong, I know fandoms have never been perfect, I've left plenty over the years for being toxic, but it's no longer a disappointment to find a toxic fandom, it's the expectation.

People will post that NO ONE is allowed to interact with their blog/post if I don't like ALL of their favorite characters. They call people names, accusing them of racism/homophobia/transphobia/etc all because they don't happen to like every character they come across! How fucking insane is that!? I personally have bought games and movies that I don't like and don't want anything to do with simply because they had my one favorite character in it! And guess what?? I don't like any of the rest! I don't dislike them, but by God they are not my fixation and I am sick of being policed by strangers on the internet who think they have the right to tell me how to enjoy something.

And don't even get me started on the way these people get excited to call someone a pedophile or a predator. They go out, looking for things they think are 'problematic' just so they can point fingers and go "you're a predator!!" Half of these people don't even know what that word means anymore. I hate to tell you this, but if someone ages up an anime character that has been 16 for 24 fucking years, they are NOT a predator. Why are people so concerned with aging up characters? Are they not aware that there are real-life, actual factual children being abused? I have seen a person come onto someone's post and accuse them of being a pedophile. OP then pointed out that they were not a predator, as they would know since they were an actual factual victim of a pedophile, in which the commenter then told them they deserved it. All because they aged up a character that has been 16 for literal fucking years now.

How fucking sick can people get?

I genuinely avoid triggering a hyperfixation on popular characters/movies/games because just witnessing these things makes me sick to my stomach. This purity culture that has swept through the internet and real world is insane, and I hate it. I hate it with my whole heart.

Please, I am begging you, if you find yourself acting like this, log off and touch some fucking grass.

[kenniilovesthethicc]

I made this fic when I was upset and in need of some comfort vore shenanigans so without further ado

Mental Health Break - a Cater x Reader Ventfic

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

The internet was a mistake.

You were just. Tired. Of everything you've seen the past few days. You needed to put down the phone for a while and just relax somewhere calming. Across the lounge you spot Cater and decide it's his turn to be pestered; you doubt anybody else here would really be able to sympathize...

"Hey, Cater.." you begin with a drained tone.

"Hey babe, what's got you all mopey?" Taking a breath, you explain "My Magicam timeline has been depressing me and I need to do something to distract me from doomscrolling - any ideas?" He gave an understanding look, his brain trying to think of a way to aid you. "I don't think I'm the best person when it comes to logging off lol, but I feel you about the need for some mind cleansing. Lemme research."

The ginger haired junior scoured the web for mental health care and came upon an advertisement. "Would ya look at that! Sensory deprivation tanks; if only it weren't school season. ( -_- )" You hadn't thought about going to a specialty spa like that. It would feel very relaxing, you pondered.

BZZ BZZ

Ah, Cater was getting a call from Lilia that they need to go to Potions class QUICKLY! "Crap! Gotta go, I'll make sure to keep your request in mind!" With that, you parted ways as you now had to help Grim with History class, great.

..

Class has ended and you're still in the pits. Collapsing onto the sofa you stare blankly into the ceiling. Moments later, you feel a presence looming over you with a hint of mischief. "Pookiebear, look what I made in potions~" Oh no not Pookiebear! Giggling a small bit, you glance and see a familiar liquid bottle. "Wait, I recognize that from somewhere," you remark as the boy offered the potion. "It's pretty famous, maybe infamous, in the Queendom of Roses so I've heard. It's just a shrinking potion, but it has no time limit unlike the one from Beanfest."

Whatever Cater had planned for a tiny you was beyond any imagination, but you were too blahh to care. Gulping it down, you begin to minimize and your friend carefully scoops you up. "Sooo about those sensory tanks, I was thinkin... I know you sometimes lay your head on my tummy to fall asleep, so what if... I vored you :]" he smiled cutely with his snagglefang showing. Cater could read you like a book sometimes, and he knew you got asmr from listening to his stomach and chest when tired, so it was no surprise he found out you had an interest in something like this. Very flustered, you nodded in consent to be swallowed.

With Cater casting a barrier spell on his stomach's internals, he then opened his mouth and allowed you to climb inside. "Mmm.. not a bad flavor~" he mused as he swished you around his maw for a few moments. Making sure he avoided hitting you against a tooth, he savored the light spiciness of your skin from when you accidentally got pepper on yourself during lunch. Once done, he tilted his head back and thus started your slide down to tummytown. His throat muscles acted like a strange massage mechanism as you were pushed downward, and soon enough you landed inside the squishy organ.

It was warm and cozy, the walls pulsing as your host breathed steadily in a consistent rhythm of sorts. Cater rubbed his belly from under his button-up to make sure he could feel you, smirking when you pushed a hand against his own. "There you go, bud! How is it inside?" Stretching out and sighing, you reviewed his stomach's interior; "I can't see much, but from what I can feel and hear it reminds me of an alien movie but not scary. 5/5 stars from me!" Proud now that he got a good rating, the Heartslyabul student stretched and yawned before making his way to his bedroom. "You're pretty filling for some weird reason, making me sleepy lol." Taking off his daytime attire he slips on some pj shorts and shifts into bed, a hand to his belly once more. Putting on a playlist off a music app, he sat his phone next to his abdomen and got ready for a nap. "Have a good sleep," he says before closing his eyes while you hummed in bliss and began to join him in slumber. Cuddles like this were the best cure for the social media Blues ♡

[fantoccia]

Hello everyone. This is something I've actually been considering for some time and I've decided to finally give it a go.

As of right now, Angie and Donna and Moreau are all on hiatus. I'll probably still check in now and then out of habit, but don't expect much from me.

Honestly, a lot about Tumblr rp has weighed on me for a little while now and I find myself getting unhappy over various things here and there. But I still logged in because I did make a lot of friends here and well. I've been at it so long, I kind of didn't really know what else to do? It's been something I've kind of wanted to do, kind of not wanted to do... But I've been putting off trying it long enough now that I might as well try it and see what the other side is like.

No, this isn't a direct reaction to anything. It's honestly been a long time coming now. I obviously need to focus on myself and try to get myself into a better place and I don't think Tumblr rp is going to help me. I'd argue it's actually been a sort of vice to me for the past two or three muses- at least a decade. People may joke about internet addiction sometimes, but I think I may have some form of it and I want to try to shake it.

So thank you to those that enjoyed playing with me! Thank you to everyone that were patient with me! I'm happy that I was able to play Angie in a way that you could like her and maybe the next time you play RE:VII you'll think of my girl just a little! <3

I'm gonna maybe pop in here or there the next few days before really trying to avoid things. Even when I'm gone, those that I talk to frequently may be allowed to NPC her if you ever feel the urge to. I'll still be on Discord so you can always ask if you can there! I won't even mind some ic chats! If you don't have my Discord and wish to talk, feel free to message me for those deets.

With all that said, I'll also say... Again, I'm a creature of habit and I'd dare call this addicting. If I do wind up coming back after a pretty short period of time, I'd really appreciate it if you don't make a big deal about it ha. This really is something I'm gonna have to focus on and I just might fail. But in the end, I am hoping that I will come back after some time. How long, I'm not sure, but hopefully when I've worked on myself and I can do better!

In the meantime, my main blog is @marthfador and so is my Twitter (X lol) but I admit my time on there is sporadic. I've got a few other little social media type things, feel free to ask if you want to know where I'm at!

Thanks again for all the fun we've had! I'm glad to have met you all!