#im guessing its the same time as emergence...

[solphuruz]

when is sleep token gonna drop the song... even in arcadia is gonna kill me. its gonna kill me dead i swear to god....

[nerdie-faerie]

I be like 'bitches want what I have' and it's just doing a 30 minute walk in 13 minutes with luggage

[funlovinzara]

“Speechless” Turbo!ken and Okarun x reader

I didn’t know id cause so much trouble, but in the end i met someone who touched my heart…i don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love him.

Warnings: none really

A/n: im back divas 💜 IM SICK AGAIN

______

Okay, lets not start off with “im just a normal person, who attends a totally normal school.” Because its stupid and dumb and i really really just want to explain this whole situation. This school is weird. Ive been experiencing some supernatural things happening to me and i dont feel safe wherever i go and i think something bad might hurt me. I walk home after school one day and i notice the air getting thicker and thicker and i just feel the tense pressure of something following me

I rush home and all i can do is ponder about whats going on with me, am i mental?? Is this some of condition?? Im having nightmares and i cant take it anymore. I cant even talk to anyone about this because i hardly talk to people at this stubborn school…

Besides all the crazy things happening to me, theres this guy I’ve had my eye on, not romantically or anything i just keep seeing him wherever i go and he just sticks out like a sore thumb. I think his name was Ken….im going to talk to him, he seems like the only person who wouldn’t judge me.

I walk up to him and before i could even mutter a “hey” a girl comes first and speaks to him, it seems like they’re close. Suddenly everyone must have a friend besides me, thats so annoying. I’ll speak to him at lunch then. And as i expected, that girl was there again. So i guess i’ll just speak to him afterschool.

“Hey..” i tap his shoulder while walking out the gate of the school. He swiftly turns around looking at me in surprise and quickly blushing. “O..oh hello!”

“I wanted to know if you’d like to be friends…you look really cool and i thought it would be nice.” His face flushes even more “Cool..? Me? Oh- yeah s-sure we can be friends thats totally awesome! Yup! Cool!” He was geeking out, and it was really cute

“Can w-“ before i could speak again he cuts me off. “How about we talk together at lunch tomorrow or if we have the same class..? Its s-super nice to meet you. Im Ken takakura!”

“Oh im y/n l/n, sure we can talk tomorrow” he bows and runs off home, i mean at least i’ll be able to actually talk to him. I start to walk home and the sun starts to set, i really don’t want that feeling to come back again. But it’s not my choice is it..

While i walk home i start to feel it again, the feeling that im being watched. But no it’s way worse this time. My ears start to ring, and i hear footsteps slowly pick up behind me. I start to run home, it wasn’t far anyway, i could make it! I run into a neighborhood I’ve never seen before, but I’ll do anything just to get away.

A blue light appears above my head and i turn around to see 3 large men with a horrifying smile standing behind me. I turn again to sprint for it until they catch me in a millisecond. “What a fine specimen!!! We shall take your banana for inspection.”

“What the heck does that even mean??? Let me go!!” I hear another pair of footsteps and i see..Ken? And that other girl..

“Get em okarun!!” The girl exclaims, and before my own eyes i see okarun leap forward to one of the men holding me, transforming into something so unknown. The aliens are caught off guard and unhand me while i see that other running behind us, a big set of translucent blue arms emerge from her back and grabs on hold on one of the men and slams him.

“Okarun!! Take the girl somewhere else!! I’ll be safe i promise!” This new…person that is ‘okarun’ sighs in laziness ��such a drag..” he picks me up bridal style and starts to speed away into a secluded area where the strange men were sure not to search. He lays me down on the concrete floor and i think i recognize this area, this is a part of my neighborhood thankfully!!

I look up at him in disbelief, “your…ken..?” He was prepping to sprint back to where the other girl was but he looks at me instead “in the flesh.” What was up with his lingo..

“..how are you able to do that?” It’s absolutely incredible, i was totally mesmerized, he’s beautiful! “Dunno, i gotta go. Stay safe babe.” He pats my head and then gets into a crouching start position to run, he sprints off and into the night he goes. What just happened, and he called me babe? How am i going to even talk to him tomorrow??

It takes me a minute to get back up and into shape, i make my way back home and i was later than usual. I make myself comfy, shower and change, and hop right into bed. I shut my eyes and start to recap.

‘Alright, what the hell was going on today. Ken is some secret transforming boy, and i guess his nickname is okarun? This other girl has magical powers and i almost got kidnapped by some disgustingly terrifying ‘men’. Based on what I’ve seen today, were those even men?? Im speechless..’ I continue to yap on in my head until i drift off into slumber.

—

I wake up the next morning trying to figure out if i should just stay home today, but then again i need answers. I quickly hop out of bed and get myself ready while having something small to eat for breakfast. I make my way to campus and i see Ken and that girl again, i really need to get her name..

“Hey Takakura.” While he was speaking to that girl he turns around to look at me, she gives me a glance and her face brightens, it seems like she recognizes me. “Hey y/n, is everything alright?”

“Um yeah no, what even happened last night?? That was totally insane! Do you guys know what was going on it freaked me out, and you turned into some creature and that girl had big arms coming out of her back-“

The girl giggles and cuts me off “okay i know it’s crazy, and I’m momo! What you saw yesterday wasn’t normal i know, it’s a long story. But those men you saw were aliens, thats why they looked so weird. Okarun here has this new ability to transform into something completely new, i have psychic powers.”

My face must have been absolutely confuzzled because they both started to giggle “Don’t worry, we’ll talk more about it at lunch! By the way whats your name?”

“It’s y/n l/n, nice to meet you.” She smiles and rests her arm on my shoulder “Sweet! Cmon okarun, let’s head to class!”

He follows right behind us and my smile fades a bit, that person okarun was…i can feel my heart start to strain. This isn’t good, i think i might like him but every-time i see Okarun and Momo together, they just seem like an unbreakable bond that stays together forever and i might be tinkering and getting in the way of that. I want to go home already.

“Hey y/n, matter of fact how about you come to my place after school? Then we can totally go over everything you’re confused about.”

“Oh, yeah sure! I don’t mind.” They day goes on as it fades into the mist of night. Her house is more larger than i thought, i enter and it has this calming feel to it. I spot Ken taking off his shoes and my hear starts to race a bit, this is making me insane. “Alright Okarun, show em!” I watch him transform again and i see that boy…wow he is so alluring. His droopy sleep eyes and tall slim frame would have anyone at campus falling head over heels

“So this is what you saw yesterday, this form is when he blah blah blah blah…”

I really should have payed attention but i was lost in his thoughtless eyes, and he was staring right back at me. I wonder does this form have the same mind as Okarun or is it someone else? While momo continues to talk, without her noticing he nods his head up at me in a “sup” motion, with his hands in his pockets. He was trying so hard to be cool and he really was. I feel my brain melt to my toes as i nod my head back at him.

“So do you understand?”

I snap back into reality, “Yeah..so what can he really do?”

“Well he can only run really fast, he has no good fighting skills yet.” “Wow, harsh.” He said while leaning back on the wall. Momo takes out her phone and looks at the time, she jumps and shrieks “its really late! Hey how about this, you can come over again tomorrow and we can go over how you’re able to see things like this. Okarun since it’s dark outside and you’re a fast runner, take em home!”

“whatevs, I’m the fastest yo.”

We head out the door and he lets me get on his back. “later y/n!”

Ken gets into the crouching start position again and speeds to my neighborhood “quick, where do ya live” I whisper my home into his ear and he quickens the pace all the way until the destination. He slows and gets down, allowing me to step off his back. I was hesitant to walk into my home and i turn around right before he was going to speed back to momos place.

“Cya on the flip side babe.” Seriously does he call everyone babe…but then i realized he was leaving and as he took off i managed to shout “See you tomorrow!!” I see him wave his hand in the air while he ran, this wasn’t so bad. I lay back in my bed ready to disclose for the night, this is crazy.

Will he be someone i can love or am i just going to be a nuisance..?

—

GUYS I JUST finished watching dandadan please i had to write something y’all idk it set something off in me for real!! bye DIVAS 💜

[lacucarachapisser]

give me your honesty colin zabel x f!reader

warnings : smut, oral sex fem! receiving, make up sex, fingering, fluff slash angst, cringe lol, edging i guess, pwp? reader have pubes leads to insecurity, overstimulation, um yeah pretty much thats all. 1.3k wc.

a/n : im trying to get back into writing and ngl this is actually um for me since yknow, somebody has to keep writing for him. i decided to write for part two of this fics, you can read the first chap, but this could stand alone so you dont have to read the first, suit yourself. every like, comment and reblog are very appreciate, i hope you all enjoy this. and apologies if its suck. sorry.

colin holds your body tight, his fingertips pressing onto your back, afraid that his grip might slip if he loosens it even scarcely a little. your fearful thoughts, about his feelings possibly changing, his silence, and the thousand excuses he’d given are nothing compared to his fear of losing you. not again. he doesn’t want to be left again.

“i should be the one who say sorry. i was so stupid.”

you gently stroke his back with your hand, drawing gentle circles against his broad back before slowly pulling away from his embraces, however still in the same position, sitting side by side on the couch.

“you know i love you,” his voice sounds like a whimper, sad and desperate. do you know he loves you? for a split second, your mind assure you that he does, but the rest is filled with doubt about whether his heart is still truly yours.

“i got so caught up,” he crouched closely beside you, clearly unbothered about the fact that you just draw back from his body. “it’s been a really terrible time at work, i’m exhausted and became such a complete ass when you’re certainly trying to be just there for me, i’m so ungrateful. never thought about making you feel left out. i never meant to. i’m really sorry.”

you let him continue his monologue, listening and nodding all along. colin gently moves a strand of hair away from your face, slips it behind your ear. his gaze fixed on you, as if waiting for you to say something. “baby, look at me,” he says.

his brown eyes are flickering. even the lines at the corners of his eyes make him seems even more woeful. “i’ll take a day off, and we can do anything you want, together. what do you think?” you didn’t respond but it put a small smile on your face, and he returns it.

“maybe we can go to the new coffee shop with all the puppies you mentioned earlier, hm?”

no. it doesn’t feel exciting anymore.

“anything you want,” his grip on your waist becomes a little firm, lips lightly starts traveling your face, planting soft kisses on your cheeks and the tip of your nose. you remain silent. colin’s apologies have always been like this. his sorry was just like a routine, continuously repeating. there’s a long pause after those kisses drift across your face. you stay still, fidgeting with the thread in the edge of your shirt.

“let me make you feel better, yes?” he asks, slow and soft as possible. you haven’t even respond at that yet he makes another assertion “come on let me make it up to you” his eyes hungrily scanning your body and face, as if he tries to expose you. “baby, say something.” he sighed and took your face in his hands and turned it towards him.

hearing him saying how he wanted you for making a voice makes you frustrated. now that he talk. where was him all along?

“what do you want me to say?” your silky voice came out like a whisper.

“say you want me,”

he shoots you with his big brown eyes, serious but gentle. his hands start grabbing your hip making their way up slowly to your waist.

“…i want you,”

the smile emerges like a blooming flower, his eyes shone like someone actually got their first jackpot. colin pushes you slowly on the couch to make you more relax. his eyes never leave yours as he gets down and sit on the floor so now that his body perfectly wrapped in between your spread thighs.

“wait, here?” a short hesitation vibrates through your voice.

the unwillingness of waiting sparks through his expression. he nods and quickly unbuttoning your pants, working hard to pull it off. at that moment, the only thing that troubled your mind was, are you clean? like down there? and suddenly never in your entire life you have wanted to take a bath so bad.

in a blink, you have no idea where’s those fabric that supposed to cover up your private. he shamelessly leans his right cheek to your bush. it somewhat abashed you to witness him this way, clinging onto your thin curls and delicately spreading butterfly kisses across of it.

using his skillful jaw, he begins to get your thick lips apart to another. passionately making out with your fold in a very slow motion. he relentlessly hold your labia in his mouth, slightly biting and creating the most obscene sounds you have ever heard. there’s nothing you can do besides squirming and moaning, listen to the slurping sounds he made with your aching cunt.

he grasps your both thighs to prevent you from moving, face pressed to your abused pussy. he starts to add his talented tongue to play around, kitten-licking your clit causing you to jolt in surprise with intense pleasure. the smooth and sweet chuckle which leaving colin’s lips sending a sweet buzz inside, body jerking while gripping his shoulders hard.

“baby, stay still..” he speaks softly, lips still connected to your pussy which criminally doesn’t help to make you stay still at all.

“relax, enjoy it,” he continues to drown his face.

“c-colin…” body arching even more as you writhe, and that didn’t make him stop. he breaths a moan while vibrating his tongue inside you, and it feels like your head is consumed by a huge clouded cyclone.

his eyes flickering back and forth from your core up to your face, watching your reaction when he brutally gobble it up, sucking you as if a baby is suckling at their mama’s.

he starts pushing his two fingers inside you, pumping you slowly. the ecstasy sensation makes your toes curl once more, legs instinctively close, worry you might crush his head between your thighs.

“mm’ taste so good..” he mostly sounds so sweet and cute when talking, but this activity surely make him a bit different. he enjoys every respond you have made. your eyes light up and roll back uncontrollably, imagining those fingers as a violent flesh entering you with a sharp blow, touching your sweet spot over and over. thus makes you grab his hair hard and scream even harder.

“ah colin.. i’m close..”

he quicken the pace and the orgasm feels so much better when he does that. even after the long orgasm, colin still kissing you there. tasting every drop of your honeyed hot syrup that can cause him high, he definitely doesn’t wanna waste it.

“too much.. too much..” you choked and its like an electric shock escalates in every part of your body, hitting hard on your sternum. he smiles and slowly pulls away.

“i’m taking such a good care of my little girl,” he whispers, more like talking to himself rather than to you. the admiration sculptured on his face, another art that he proudly created. “you’re doing amazing, sweetheart,”

it almost makes you work up again listen to his mesmerizing voice, lips so close to your tired pussy, deliberately blowing the hot breath. he did that effortlessly, he always managed to get you work up so easily. the soreness ate your limbs and muscles you can’t move your body properly. the only thing you can do is just draw up a sluggish lazy smile.

“you okay? how was it?” still with a soft smile, a gazing wide brown eyes concerned towards you.

“hm..’mazing like always,” you both let out a little chuckle and he looks exceedingly satisfied.

“let me take you to bed, okay?” you nod and with a last strength you had, you open your arms to welcome him. he places your hands around his neck as he slips his big arms beneath your body, grab and scoop you up in one swing whilst he gets up. he affectionately kisses you on your temple before walking to your shared bed.

“good. i need to get you more comfortable,” you come up with nothing as you think about what’s gonna happen next, whether he’ll let you rest or he’ll take his turn, either way you’d end up take it gladly.

•

•

•

another notes: yes i do remember someone asked me to do pt 2, literally only one person and of course why not. this is for you jazzy @lockedxroses not sure if you remember hehe but yeah this also for all colin’s wives out there. love yall sm<3

[caelyne]

The Watcher ʕ 👀ʔ Thoughts

im going full spoiler here, so please dont read further if you have yet to play or care about that sorta thing. tldr, i liked it. Rain World is always a tricky game to recommend because its weird.. its very very good and i love it a lot, but theres so many elements about it that dont play out well for a lot of people. understandably so. this same sentiment applies to the dlc, even moreso, possibly. ill get into it below!

ive finally finished it after pretty much playing this game nonstop since it released on friday lolllll. im normal, alright? i'm not sure how i wanna structure this, but ill start with the opening.

the game begins in a surprising location, though you wont realize it at first. Hydroponics, the new subregion for Industrial Complex. when i emerged above the Outskirts karma gate, i admit i was a bit concerned. where was the new stuff? why am i here? it was disorienting. but i figured id start with the basic story beats: let's go see Looks to the Moon! i figured i'd run through drainage for the fun of it and keep an eye open for anything strange on the way. after running into a few king vultures and red lizards in outskirts, i was beginning to prepare for the worst in terms of enemy spawns and so i was taking it slow and easy.

then i found the rot. strategically blocking the only path to drainage. i then realized what was happening, and i freakin Loved it.

i really loved how they place you in an unfamiliar location, immediately setting your expectations that you are exploring completely unknown territory.. only for that facade to break as you realize you're still in the base game map. and then Further playing with your typical expectations of knowing to visit the Plot characters (Pebbles and Moonie) and very smartly controlling your movements by blocking off the paths to the iterators. Where else is there to go? The echoes.

Or, echo, in this case. i do want to go back and reread the dialogue from our strange friend a bit further, but off the bat it was cool how manic and, immature? this echo was. a stark contrast to the echoes we're used to! they even look different.. in their appearance and the way they hover there. totally different mood from the Pompous, Egotistical echoes that could not pass the veil.

i liked how they slowly began to open up to you and you learn more about their plight. after knowing this game for as long as i have (pre DP!!), the mysterious nature of the echoes had lost their luster a bit. they're still utterly horrifying and beautiful, but theres only so many times you can see them and the mysticism begins to become normalized. it was nice to feel like you could unravel a bit of the mystery behind this particular character, who ultimately is a child from an ancient society that failed to ascend. i loved it.

i guess i should talk about the actual gameplay though? i mean this IS a game after all….. and this game..?

well, this game started off as a maze runner in early development, yeah? and it still IS that in its final iteration on release, but theres also more to it with regards to the world it built. there's so much to unravel in base rain world when it comes to the environmental storytelling of the regions and their original purposes and locations, the pearl dialogue with Moon, buddhist memes, the ecosystems, etc etc etc etc. so so much. if you're reading this, you know already.

watcher doesn't have a LOT of that. each region you visit are not physically linked, but are instead done so via warp tunnels that you find or create yourself. i see a lot of people being disappointed about that aspect, to which i can understand. it leaves out a lot of potential for the aspects that are integral to base Rain World that i just mentioned. but honestly? i dont really mind it all that much.

in leiu of that, we have an interconnected web of regions/dimensions/worlds/realities that are all linked in specific and highly confusing ways that serves as the campaign's stage for a large game of hide and seek with our new echo friend. a Maze, if you will.

despite the map on the sleep screen being quite confusing and overwhelming at times, i thought it was a very cool way of handling this dlc's universe. a big criticism that i have is that since things are so Physically disconnected, it ends up being difficult to remember where a lot of key features are. karma flowers, static warp tunnels, Daemon entrance tunnels, it was A LOT. especially once you start figuring out what you're supposed to be doing and what youre looking for. in typical rain world fashion, the game doesnt hold your paw much at all outside of a few brief and essential tutorial explanations on how to use The Watcher's abilities.

the echo placements are something im a tad mixed on. since the saint has a function that immediately tells you there is an echo within the region you enter, i have to assume that the decision to not use this indicator is an intentional design choice. on my first playthrough, i had a few dry spells of endless and endless wandering until finally i managed to happen upon the echo, upon which i'd be transported to a new world and run into a string of finding their new hiding spot nearly back to back. i'm unsure if thats just good fortune on my end? or if there is a tendency for the echo to teleport you to places near their next spot, but thats how it ended up working out for me in a few cases. as i type this, i honestly think i'd settle for some kinda indicator on the region map that at least tells you where a previous echo has been found, because gosh it is DEFINITELY overwhelming to keep all that stuff memorized. you could always write this stuff down ig, but it wasn't immediately obvious to me that the campaign's objective was to locate this guy again and again. i'm fine with this objective overall, but yeah it woulda been cool if there was something to help you keep track of your progress in that regard.

so ultimately, its a big game of hide and seek in a maze-like region, where each region is a small part of a larger maze, all the while you are still a slugcat that is fighting to stay alive in a strangely familiar, yet alien universe with new threats we've never seen or encountered before. I liked it. it was very cool.

what other criticisms do i have.. uuaahhh.. i guess the inclusion of modded regions isnt my favorite. mind you, i also dont really mind it either. idk, its difficult to articulate. the sense i got is that… in The Watcher's (campaign) context, there was less of a focus on world building and moreso on providing us stunning set pieces to explore that are Rain World.. but different from what we've ever seen before. which makes sense! we aren't in Five Pebbles anymore after all. its vague as to Where we are of course, though i believe the echo dialogue implies we're jumping through different stages of history. or perhaps alternate timelines? maybe alternate universes? all of the above? i guess i'll leave the rw scholars to disassemble all that. but anyway, the modded regions are fine, i suppose. theyre a nice way to reach out to the community and in terms of gathering potential temporal/extradimensional locations within the rain world universe, it works fine imo.

i also dont love the possibility that the expansion was rushed to meet the 8th RW anniversary. by all means, it feels SOLID as is, but if theyre planning on adding more content (which was explicitly stated by James, eventually culminating in the console release), i think i woulda just preferred to have waited until it was Finished with a capital F. it is what it is.

ough, and ive already seen posts from people thats essentially just soyjack shit that centers around the world map discussion and boils down to old thing is for smart people, and new thing is superficial and not good. i just hope most people can distinguish between personal preferences and expectations to the actual quality of the expansion.

anyway. other stuff i liked!! gonna just bullet point this:

i LOVED THE MOTHS!!! GRRR!!!!!!!! i love how theyre docile up until the point where violence breaks out and they just fly you into the sky and drop you back to the ground. i also love that vulture are just On Sight with them. they're so cute too. their little head tilts… aaahhh.. i wanna draw them!!!!

the music slapped. next.

signal spires. utterly gorgeous. those structures in the background.. the whales.. aaa

the warp tunneling and cloaking effects were also SUPER cool. i also actually kinda predicted that the cloak could be upgraded and provide additional movement options since there was a LOT of areas that seemed to be impossible to traverse without loading yourself up with spears.

the new 'karma' symbols are water ripples

the ending was just very sweet and i loved getting to see a brief glimpse of that ancient society. this might also be entirely cope, but as someone who likes to think of slugcats being bout the size of a large cat, i have questions about the scale of Ancient Urban. for gameplay purposes, i think theres a level of abstraction, in addition to the fact that it was also explicitly mentioned by VC that it is left intentionally vague, to the size scale of the game, but that room with the shop and the storage closet and the bedroom and the void baths and the rooftop bridge and the pipes connecting each room together was.. inconsistent? i think? this doesnt even mater i just have autism, but its F*CKIN with my brain!!!!!!!!!! HOW BIG ARE SLUGCATS JAMES. PLEASE

THE PRINCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually outer rim is also just super fucking cool too. im soooo intrigued on whats happening there. i actually got the rot ending first lmfao. i couldnt stay away. by the time i realized what was happening with the rot, it was too late, so i just went IN on it. also he looks like videocult guy.

huahh!!! that was long.. turns out i have a lot of feelings abt this game. I GOTTA FINISH THOSE LAST PROMPTS TOO AAAHHHH EXPECT ART SOON

[acanth3]

The Sound Of The Stars English Translation

EPISODE 12/14

A Few Hours Later After The Test

Jun: Kagehira-san, you really are depressed after all. You headed straight back to your room.

Well, of course, he’s been working so hard but can’t get the results he wants

(I know very well how hard Kagehira-san is working for this)

(Even if it was a request from Ibara, to stay with Kagehira-san as much as possible until the space travel date)

(In order to gain physcial and muscle strength, I overworked my body alot. I cut time to study english and cram the material into my head.)

(The diets are also thoroughly thought of to maintain health, he’s trying hard but its not enough)

(I can’t stand it and im frustrated so its now wonder Kagehira-san feels even worser)

(.....Kagehira-san is being crushed.)

“So much people are expectin’ alot from me, Whatever I have to do, I can do it…”...

I didnt mean to push pressure on Kagehira-san from saying that

But, I still want our childhood dreams to come true

Haa..this is no good~ The more I overthink about this I don’t know what to tell Kagehira-san

I have to check up on Kagehira-san state now, this is his room isnt it?

Kagehira-san I need to speak to you, do you have time?

…..? Have you already fallen asleep? I guess it’s a bad time…?

Ritsu: Who is it at this time?

Jun: Oops, sorry Sakuma-san. Sorry for disturbing you at this hour. Is Kagehira-san asleep?

Ritsu: Aaa, Naminami.  Mika-rin is already asleep~

I’m matching a futon with Mikarin…

Jun: Oh that’s right. I came at a bad time

Ritsu: It’s okay~ you were worried about Mikarin, so Naminami came to check. It was very depressing

Ritsu: Mikarin is sound asleep now…huh?

Jun: What’s wrong?

Ritsu: Somethings strange. Naminami come in here

Jun: Eh…Kagehira-sans bed is empty!?

Ritsu: Eh, I didn’t think his bed was empty

Jun: Wait a minute. It’s already midnight where could have Kagehira-san gone?

Ritsu: Hmm, don’t you go for a walk at night to clear your mind…?

Jun: Ah, a call at this time? From who? Nagi-senpai?

Excuse me, Sakuma-san

Hello, Nagi-senpai why did you call me so suddenly?

Nagisa: [.....Shu-kun has disappeared]

Jun: Haa? Itsuki-senpai missing!? Isnt this an emergency!? 

Nagisa: [.....I dont know, I woke up and Shu-kun was missing.]

Jun: Uhh, what if he’s just eating breakfast somewhere…

Nagisa: [.....I waited for a few hours but Shu-kun didnt come back so I asked the landlord for help]

[.....He said Shu-kun left his room alone last night and asked me to stay here for a while]

[.....So apparently Shu-kun has gone somewhere while I was sleeping]

Jun: Huh..what could be the meaning for all of this

It’s uncommon that the two of them in Valkyrie suddenly went missing. Where on Earth could they have gone?

Mika: Nnnn~, I thought I did okay this time but..

I really did drop my brain somewhere this time

Or God forgot to put a brain in the first place, it explains everythin’

I’m so pathetic, nothin’ good happens

No matter how hard I try, I can’t reach for those stars 

Ahaha…..how ironic. I can the stars pretty well today

Speakin’ of which. The night I met Oshi-san the night was beautiful with stars

—It’s the same as then

I chose to do this but I just ran away…

Nnn, Oshi-san, I said I would do it but I couldnt do anythin’ no matter how much it took, it was a failure

Then theres also the opportunity Oshi-san gave me to make mah’ dream come true. Everyones time and money spent on me.

The expectations of the world and everyone is one me, I’m goin’ to waste it all and throw it away

I thought I could do it, I’m sorry, Oshi-san, everyone…

Shu: Why are you apologizing, Kagehira?

Mika: Ehh..!? O-Oshi-san!?

Shu: I knew I heard a sobbing voice and a shadow over here, I didn’t know it was you. 

Mika: What, why is Oshi-san here?

Shu: That’s my line. Why are you here at a time like this…

Mika: Aha, I got it. Im seein’ an illusion, how convenient a hallucination! 

It’s why Oshi-san is here in a place like this, how could Oshi-san come to the back on an alley like this?

Shu: This is not an illusion, Kagehira.

If you’re going to run away from reality, let me pinch your cheek to wake you up. 

Mika: Ouch….!

Huh, it really does hurt, is Oshi-san really here!? 

Shu: I’ve been saying that for awhile now. It’s like talking with a child.

Mika: Uh….I dont know why Oshi-san is here

Shu: …Its obvious why I’m here, isn’t it?

Mika: Obvious…? I’m an idiot so just tell me properly I dont know 

Shu: Yes, that’s right. It’s useless to use extra words to tell you I’m here for your forgiveness.

Mika: …..Forgiveness?

Shu: I'm sorry, Kagehira!

It’s all my fault this time, so please just forgive me….!

[badomensgoodomens]

RIFFS AND REGRETS - noah sebastian - part two

part one here

______________________________________

hi, i have ultimately decided that after a week i absolutely hate this storyline and believe i can do better lol. i had intended to progress further after this chapter, but it is suitable to stop here.

_______________________________________

Hadn’t planned on waking up in a shitty emergency tent during the festival of a lifetime, much less the angry danielle who was standing over me lecturing me. 

“Are you fucking stupid?? You were so dehydrated that the adrenaline made you faint!! We talked about this- that is the number one rule of touring-” “danielle-” “you had me worried sick!! That is so not cool-” “danielle!!” i shout, overwhelmed. “Fuck- did i hit my head on the way down?” i ask, rubbing my face.

 “Uhhuh, leo said you went down like a ton of bricks, hit your ribs on the fuckin toilet bowl.” i groan, leaning my head back. “He was watching you, yaknow.” she says. I pause, looking up at her in utter confusion. “Who?” “noah. From the artist tent.” i close my eyes with a sigh at that information. “Thanks for sharing.” i mumble, trying to ignore the stinging coming from my ribs. 

“You can't keep ignoring him, you know.” she says, shifting her weight from one foot to another, hand resting on her pregnant belly. “He broke my fuckin heart dani.” i reply, too exhausted to put up a proper fight. “Oh please. You didn’t even date.” she says, vic comes up behind her. “Who?” he says, wrapping his arms around danielles stomach. “He who shall not be named.” dani retorts, leaning her head on his shoulder. “She STILL stalks my insta. I am NOT talking to him. Hes probably cheating with poppy anyways. Shes pretty.” i say, sitting up a bit. “Arabella, you're one stupid bitch.” 

____________________

The next morning i have a much needed shower, i stand infront of the foggy bathroom mirror in nothing but a plain black set, admiring the nasty ass bruise that littered my left rib. Yikes. I shimmy into a stage outfit, now ruined by the bruise i adorned. 

I managed to limp backstage with the help of vic, who set me down on a random, rundown couch with a bottle of water. I lean back with closed eyes, until the weight shifts that is. I crack an eye open, nicholas sits next to me. “So i’m just ticking you all off one by one huh?” i murmur, closing my eyes. “You could say that i guess. Hey i heard through the grapevine about what happened yesterday. You okay?” i take a sip of water, allowing the cold liquid to soothe my throat before speaking again. “This water is good.” “you didn’t answer my question.” he uncrosses his arms, leaning back a little. “I don’t want to lie to you” i shoot back. He grins. “Ive missed you, bella.” he side hugs me, narrowly missing my bruise. I just hum in response. “Hows the rockstar life?” i ask, he tilts his head. “Its okay i guess. I really do miss having you around bella-” he starts again. “Hey, we’re on in five.” noah calls out, briefly walking past the room, he avoids eye contact. 

Its almost like im a thorn in his side. 

I probably am, honestly. 

______________________________

I can’t even lie, bad omens stage presence is phenomenal. Its exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. They give every concert their all, its admirable. However, unfortunately we were allocated the time slot AFTER them. I hobble towards side stage, taking deep breaths. Leo gives me one of his bullshit pep talks. “I’m not even anxious, just unsure how im supposed to do this.” i laugh, pulling myself up the stairs. 

“Hey australia how we feeling!!!??” I call out, genuinely trying  to muster up ANY ounce of energy. “So yesterday i took quite the fall, and now im covered in bruises, so i need YOU guys to give it your all!!” 

We launch right into our set, the crowd menacing once again. During each set i allocated 5 minutes at the end to play whatever song i please. 

“So i intended to perform doomed today, because i know yall love oli sykes. But considering im uhhh a bit.. Limited. We are gonna sing a bit of sleep token.” 

Gene begins to play the opening chords to “the love you want” 

Everyone and their mother knew how much i loved sleeptoken, how much noah did. However i was dumbfounded when i spotted him standing side stage, his gaze boring into the bruises on my left side. Fuck. this just got an awful lot more awkward. I finish off on stage, managing to slip past him in a timely manner despite being injured. I collapse on to a leather couch, exhausted. 

I lay there for a while, watching the different bands filter past. Eventually, i hobble my ass out of there, humming mindlessly. 

“Give by sleeptoken huh?” 

I actually nearly shit myself, my heart falling to my ass. 

“Can i help you?” i respond, turning around to face noah. I can’t pinpoint what flashes across his face. “Its been a while arabella.” he shifts awkwardly. I nod, we stand awkwardly, the wind picks up. “We should really talk.” he breaks the silence, taking a step forward. 

I step backwards, muttering “ill think about it.” before escaping to my bus. I shut and lock the bus door, sliding down it. Shit. Shit. I just fucking ran away from him. 

“You good?” leo asks, handing me a beer. “Just ran into noah.” i breathe out, taking a sip. He joins me on the floor. “How’d that go? You wanna talk about it?” i sigh. Gene and lucy join us. “What even happened between you two” lucy questions, cradling a vodka cruiser. 

“He started dating this girl and got really distant. She told him to drop me, eventually i got so sick of it i tried to walk out and we got into an argument. He said… some stuff, so i got the hell out of there.” i summarise, avoiding eye contact. Leo elbows me, “you wanna say the rest?” 

I cringe, the whole situation not having been my best moment. 

“Okaywellyeahihadacrushonhim butineveractedonitsoidontknowwhyshewassomad-”             

Leo laughs. 

“Im fuckin doomed for eternity, he wants to talk” 

____________________________

“I think you should.” danielle says, crowded around a bar table in a bustling underground joint. I shake my head. “Do i even bother though? How do i know hes not going to just reprimand me for what happened?” i groan, my head in my hands. Vic hands me a much needed drink. I sigh, unsure of what to really do with myself. 

A couple drinks in, vic whisks dani away to the dancefloor, leaving me alone. I toy with the straw of my drink, running my fingers over the rim. Somebody sits opposite me. I look up, meeting the eyes of folio. “You okay?” he asks, signature grin slapped across his face. “I’m good, you?” i answer, trying to make smalltalk. He replies with a nod, downing the rest of his drink. “Shouldn’t you be with the boys?” my voice is quiet, small. “Nicholas and noah are god knows where. Jollys chatting up some girl. Didn’t wanna kill his vibe. Plus you looked sad so….” 

Right. He was only here because he pitied me. Just like the rest of them. “”Nick, it was great talking to you but i think im gonna head back to the buses.” I say, packing my things up. “Oh- okay. Get there safely.” he smiles, pulling me into a hug. I step out, exhausted. I slip towards the side alley, reaching for a cigarette in my bra. I lean my head back on the cold brick wall, the night air was cold compared to the short dress i was wearing. I was honestly a mess… this was all so…. Confronting. 

I wait patiently for my uber, wanting to get the hell out of here. “You got a lighter?” i gulp, turning around. Im face to face with his chest. Fuck i forgot hes a fucking giant. I look up at him, nodding. I watch him light a joint, leaning on the wall next to me. “You wanna talk.. Or..?” 

I take a deep breath. Contemplating every single life choice.

“Are you and her still together?” i ask, rubbing my hands on my thighs anxiously. He shakes his head, taking a drag. “I broke up with natasha four years ago.” i hum, so they stayed together a whole year after i left. I look up at the night sky, unsure of what to say next. 

“Im sorry for what i said to you.” 

Im almost immediately agitated. “You hurt me noah.” he rubs his face, handing me the joint. “You don’t think i don’t know that?! I watched you walk out that door knowing there was nothing i could do-” “there was SO much you could fucking do.” 

Its silent for a moment. 

“She threatened me that day.”

“What?” 

“Natasha. She slashed my tires.” 

Hes honestly.. Taken aback. 

“Sorry?” 

“She told me you’d never love me. That i was pitiful for thinking i had a chance.” i swallow, avoiding eye contact. 

“Bella-”

I take a drag. “I’m sorry noah.” 

“What for..?” he says, almost holding his breath. 

“I told you that i hoped you’d feel sick to your stomach when you hear my name.” i laugh bitterly. 

He nods. 

“Uhh… not exactly far from the truth.” 

We sit in comfortable silence, just smoking. 

“I broke up with her because she cheated on me. Shes a tattoo artist now, atleast thats what ive heard from nosey interviewers.” he says, effectively breaking the silence. 

I don’t say anything, staring at the ground. It starts to rain. 

“We weren’t supposed to end like this.” he speaks again.

“Atleast not in my dreams.” i laugh. 

“Chase two girls, lose the one.” noah says, looking down the alleyway. 

I look at him quizzically. 

“Wait. you liked me?” 

“Like.”

fuck this. I need to go, i need to get away from him. Fuck. fuck im going to fuck something up. I shouldn’t of done this. 

My heels click as i begin to run away again, wiping frantic tears. He reaches for my wrist, his fingers warm compared to the coldness of the night. pulling me back to him like a safety net. Almost immediately i wrap my arms around his waist, sobbing. 

“I don’t hate you” i wail, he sighs, stroking my hair. 

I shouldn’t be doing this. 

“I know bella.” he murmurs, tightening his grip on my waist. 

“I should.” i sniffle, looking up at his doe brown eyes. 

“You should. And it makes me the luckiest bastard in the world that you can’t manage to.” 

[nicolovespancakes]

Why does NO one ever talk about the fact that THE MASK (LIKE JIM CARREY'S) is in the ROGUES podcast???

He has a lot of DC crossovers!

He's made by Dark Horse comics.

WHEN WAYLON MEETS THE, MYSTERIOUS SAVIOR FROM THOSE POLICE MEN.

Just. Look at the transcript for a sec-

All the stuff that almost entirely proves it's The Mask is highlighted in green.

"???: Gotham’s Shady Underbelly! Are the police on someone else’s payroll? Or is there more to this story than meets the eye? More at 11!

OFFICER: Who the fuck is this guy?

???: BUT FIRST! It’s time to get… JUICY!

OFFICER2: Take him down! [Our hero smacks two guards out cold]

???: Tonight in Gotham, a group of six police officers were seen attacking a single green man. [gunshot]

???: Ooh! Make that five officers. Is this racial profiling, or a justified act? Your comment!

OFFICER3: I.. uh..

???: WRONG! [punch] BA-DA-BA-DA-DA-DA! [CHEERS] That’s three down, with one player on timeout from a little friendly fire! It’s two against one in this BATTLE ROYALE ON THE STREETS OF GOTHAM CITY! BUT WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS!?

OFFICER2: Who are you?

???: I’M THE YELLOW FELLOW WITH THE MELLOW BELLOW! HERE TO SAVE MY BELOVED CITY, WHILE LOOKING SSSSSSSSMOLDERING. Is that overdone? I CAN NEVER TELL! [takedown] OOOOH! ONE LEFT. The pinnacle moment! YOU CAN BREATHE, YOU CAN BLINK, YOU CAN CRY, BUT YOU CAN’T OUTRUN THESE BUNS, HUN! HA HA HA!!! [knocks the guard down]

OFFICER5: Please! Let me go!

???: Sure thing, spanky! Just… one more question. Earl Grey or Orange Pekoe?

OFFICER5: What?

???: BECAUSE HERE COMES THE TEABAG! [AIRHORN] [crack] Oops. Guess that’s why they call me THE NUTCRACKER. Here’s a band-aid, son. Should stop the oozing.

[Waylon grunts]

???: Oh my dear soul. It’s not easy being green, but HERE! It’s dangerous to go alone, take THIS!"

The Mask INFAMOUSLY turns green when the mask possess their person (all of the comments about being green make a lot more sense now, right?), and within the comics he regularly wears a yellow suit (See comic cover above), thus the comment about being a yellow fellow.

And the, SSSSSSSSMOLDERING comment is a callback to the movie(?) I believe.

He's also bullet proof, from what I know, so when the police shoot at him it either bounces off or goes right through him. Hence the death in that scene too-

The Mask, from his comics, is generally known as an all-over-the-place type character in the same kind of world, but it is some of the FUNNIEST and most over the top idiot revenge fantasies I've ever read. I got into the mask as a character when I was but a smaller tween. It was perfect for a rageful kid like me. The movies were my favorite things for a long time.

SO THE FACT THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE MASK BEING IN THE ROGUES! PODCAST MAKES ME THINK THAT EITHER; PEOPLE DONT KNOW, OR THEY DONT CARE.

AND EITHER OPTION IS SOMETHING I CANT LET STAND. BECAUSE THE MASK IS HILARIOUS.

@codotafterdark @voiceboss I NEED TO KNOW IF IM RIGHT.

ITS THE MASK, RIGHT? RIGHT?

IM FALLING INTO LUNACY.

[kens-ramblings]

okay so for background i work in first responder land, not as a first responder but my job deals with them on a regular basis. so basically here is my opinion on what kinda of first responder each of the batfam would be with little to no explanation :D

Alfred- maybe retired EMS? i know he does medical stuff with the bats so it just makes sense to me

Bruce- he’s a cop. idk what else to say he’s just such a cop and you can take that however you’d like🤨😐

Dick- 911 operator. i think he canonically was one at some point(please correct me if im wrong tho i am very slowly getting through comics) and its also one of the ones that just makes sense to me. like he wants to help but he does not want to do it on the same way B does and has always been good with people. so i feel like he’d probably enjoy it

Jason- maybe this is controversial but i’d say firefighter. like yes he died due to smoke inhalation but i also feel like he’d want to work through that trauma(bc bats can’t just go to therapy like normal people nooooo) by helping others to yk,,, not die in fires?? also it’s just another one of the ones idk how else to explain it the vibes are just there yk

Tim- I think he’d work in emergency management somewhere. like yes they are not exactly first responders and his character is a front lines guy, but we’ve also seen that he is a PLANNER. emergency management’s whole job is planning for what to do when things go to shit. plus they still go on scene as needed so he wouldn’t have to deal with JUST being a guy in a chair

Babs- i originally wasn’t gonna do her because i don’t really know her character all that well. but,,,, as i was writing tim’s i was like “oh this is also probably babs a bit ecspecially after her accident. like she was probably some sort of first responder,,, maybe cop to follow in her dads footsteps?? but also maybe not? like i said not exactly one of the characters know best,,,, but anyways after no longer being able to help on the front lines she joins gothams emergency management agency because they also help coordinate when big things happen so it makes sense to me

steph- another one i’m not super sure i know her characterization all that well outside of fandom, but im giving it my best go. i feel like she went into EMS. she spent some time with leslie and in a lot of normal capes aus i’ve read it seems like she’s always a med student so it makes sense to me

Cass- i’m actually kinda stumped on her. like realistically she could do any of the jobs she wanted because yk she’s highly skilled in damn near everything. like idk i just can’t picture her as anything other than kick ass vigilante. but if i had to choose,,,, maybe 911 operator, she could help with other languages and dispatchers really run this shit from the shadows. so final answer dispatcher i guess? but i feel like it is kinda a waste of her fighting talents but yk it is what it is

duke- he is another one i’m not 1000% on characterization, i don’t think he’s been in any of the comics i’ve read other than wayne family adventures. but anyways, my gut instinct was cop, but like in the way that he’s trying to change the system from the inside out. but then actually the whole gang thing came to mind and duke is def an ACAB kinda guy. like couldn’t stand to wear the uniform probs, so im actually gonna go with fire fighter. i also can’t really explain this one it’s just what my heart says.

Dami- he’s another one i think is a cop, but he is because he wants to be like Bruce. he starts out doing basically whatever B says but he eventually finds his own way. honestly i feel like after a stint he quits and joins like an EMS service for animals(i actually do not know if that’s a thing, but it is now) bc i think he would genuinely enjoy that and still feel like he’s helping yk?

[patricia-taxxon]

heya! i just rewatched your sc2020 video…again… and then found out you're on tumblr and, of course, immediately went to look if you've posted anything about sj aswell and found that post from *checks notes* 1.5 months ago - so, i guess what im here to ask is, would you mind elaborating on that?

im unfamiliar with marble blast (im so sorry i do not have the brainpower to watch your essay on that...yet) so the comparison you make is not particularly useful to me :v

also for context, i did contribute to sj, specifically playtesting and programming, so i do have Opinions™ (that im gonna keep to myself due to lack of anon ask (not a bad thing! i understand why you have it off)) and i wonder if those happen to bleed through to the player experience or if your gripes with it are something different entirely.

well, firstly, i have developed such a deep seated hatred of the celeste community that i haven't opened the game in months and i've considered just deleting my spring collab video multiple times, I'm not finishing any more of my maps because I don't want to make anything for these people. so i didn't actually finish SJ, I did everything up to & including the easy half of the grandmaster lobby though, and my take is that even with the few miracles I found within the map list, it would not have inspired a video essay on the level of the spring collab one if I'd played it first. it's just not as interesting, and not as rewarding to study. it represents a horrible misattribution of priorities that permeates the entire community.

in that video, i confidently say that spring collab is ALWAYS interesting, because modding culture is interesting even if it's interesting for being a little bad or revealing something about the author's proclivities. strawberry jam represents a near unanimous drive to remove authorship and make levels that are impartially agreeable, to make Celeste 2. it's only interesting when the mapper does something interesting on purpose, like Paint, Pointless Machines, Undergrowth, Summit Down-Side or Flipside Cliffside. a path of least resistance emerged in the time between SC2020 and Strawberry Jam, and experiencing it in this quantity made me forget what I liked about this game or this modding scene in the first place. the volume of creative gimmicks and varied aesthetics is huge, but each one starts to feel identical after being ground through this particular jank-averse process. I still have strong opinions about every map in SC2020, even the ones that might seem unremarkable, I can only barely begin to quantify the entire fucking C tier of my SJ tierlist. it's diverse on the surface but the substance is homogenous, especially intermediate through expert.

also in my SC2020 video, I talked about a certain tension that arrives once you get to the expert lobby, where the mappers had to create uncommercial levels of difficulty that rubbed against a similar apparent drive to make the player feel like they're actually doing the challenge & not just watching it. strawberry jam arrives at this conflict far earlier, the INTERMEDIATE maps and onwards are the ones that seem to pull between making interesting challenges while also having the player be an agent in those challenges. they want the intermediate levels to feel hard, look cool, and the solution is to just make them ridiculously constrained so the only way is the ~satisfying~ way. that's why I won't make a video about strawberry jam, because many segments in my spring collab video already serve as criticism for strawberry jam. it made the same mistakes again, but worse, and with far less of the things that made me love spring collab in spite of its flaws.

here's my tierlist, if there are any questions i'll try and qualify any of these takes with what i can remember from playing it. however, for reasons stated previously I won't be playing more so this is probably gonna be it.

[pumpkinsy0]

SHEPARD GANG HCS PLEASE 🗣🗣🗣🗣

PONY HANGING OUT WITH SHEPARD GANG HCS TOO PLEASE 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

ur gonna have to speak up sonny i cant here u what was that👴🏽

•a good part of the gang just DO NOT like pony, like at all, straight up hate the guy, they also do not like curly bc they see him as the equivalence of a nepo baby, to have both of em hanging out w em?? aw yea theyre messing w em bad, they will even go out their way TO mess w em but curly rlly does try protecting pony from em

•unlike the curtis gang, the shepard gang dont hang at the shepards place, if anything unless its an emergency they r NEVER allowed there, never ever ever, even if its for a place to crash, this house is terrible for that if u think about it, tims saving them

•most of their gang is POC, part of the judgement they face, IS bc of racism (yes however also bc most of em r rlly not innocent ppl and have done pretty bad things)(im mostly saying this for the gang members who r like 17+, 16 and below for rn u r a VICTIM of SOCIETY and CAPITALISM!!!)

•they have “official” colors, its red and black!! tim didnt make that a rule or anything, its just something that gang adopted and tim doesnt care what they wear as long as its not ridiculous (same w the uniform i say they have!! they dont have a rulebook, if u look intimidating its fine). other gangs also do have their own colors and way of dressing, the curtis gang is just the only one who lets anyone wear whatever they want

•everyone the gang is seeing is pretty scarry/intimidating to some degree, while u guessed it, to them, ponyboy isnt, so while ponys seeing curly, theyve tried to find ways to “make pony prove he deserves to b near them” and will find pony outside and lowkey jump the dude im ngl. not beat him up but push him around here n there, they dont punch or anything at most semi hard hit the back of his head (this is mostly the younger members)

•literally nobody in that gang looks their age, they all look older. when curly took pony to meet ppl in the gang that were around their age, pony didnt believe him one bit and was keeping to himself the whole time, fuck a small convo😭

•curly is NOT tims second in command but tim does put him in charge of telling him anything that goes wrong or of someone gets out of line. tim is curlys brother and he trust him w his life, some of the gang will see curly as a bit of a snitch but curly wont care, he has tim protecting him its either u follow what tim says or get out, this is a tight ship they run

•the shepard gang has their own slang, its not something thats taught exactly, they just pick it up. they even influence how some ppl (who arent involved w em) talk bc they want to seem tougher than they rlly r, for those ppl the shepard gang takes them aside and let them b a member for a day to show them what its reaalllyyyy like and scare them straight

•pony tries dressing up more #hardcoregreaser (aka he just threw dallys leather jacket on) to b more respected by those heathens and save himself the teasing, but they immediately clocked it wasnt even his and that it was dallys. they were all split on liking dally or not, they tried taking it off him to fuck w him and tim (thee tim) himself had to step in

•if u make a pass at angela, tims just kicking u out the gang thats nit even debatable

[ghostsvacuumcleaner]

Hello! i was wondering if you could write me a req bc i saw your reqs r open (bc I ✨respectfully✨ suck booty at writing)

basically, reader made friends with Ghost while working together on deployment, and became friends, they hang out sometimes bc they live kinda close, blah blah blah. then, Ghost doesn't hear from reader in months (which isn't normal, bc they text like once a month, just to make sure one another is okay when they can). then, one day, in the middle of a meeting Ghost gets a call from an unfamiliar number and almost ignores it until he sees that the area code is the one reader lives in, so he decides to answer it. boom, guess what? the reader is in the hospital, sustained r/srs injuries, and is in need of emergency surgery, and the reader made Ghost the emergency contact (lets also say they traded dog tags bc fluff?)

homie gets all sad bc Reader might die and is in a mini coma, blah blah blah, realized he r in love w the reader, and uh

you can decide whether or not the reader dies and what happens next

i fr scream YIPEEE when i saw your req open, i adore your writing, like top tear, makes me cry but laugh and scream bc how are you so good?! srs, im so jelly of your writing! okay anyways, hope you have a lovely day, you dont have to do this is you dont want or if im jus a silly fucker and mis read and your reqs r closed or sum

Hellloooo! Thank you SO MUCH for the beautiful compliments and for this request <3 I loved it so much I started writing the day you sent it to me. But since it's very emotionally charged, it took me a little while to finish and I'm sorry bout that, and I rly hope you're still around and eager to read it!!! Well, there it is, my take on ur req, hope you like it.

Take me back (to the night we met) | Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

✦Word count: 2.1k ✦ Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley xf!reader ✦Summary: Simon gets a call from the hospital saying that you are hospitalized, in a coma and in great life risk. ✦ TW and general warnings: sensitive topics, lots of angst, fluff though, death implications, open ending, sad af read at ur own risks cuz i'm crying in my room rn;

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

“Johnny and I make our entrances fast. I clear the way, he goes front, three of you get in by the back and we surround the site to get enough space for the hostages to come out. Any questions?” Ghost asks sternly, as is the usual of his tone especially coming down to work. He was being brutally professional at the moment - if there was rather a sign of an existing Simon, it was gone the moment he got inside the briefing room. Silence follows for the next seconds while the crew seems to be pondering over what he said, analyzing the map over the big round table sticking to the center of the room.

As it is expected, no questions. He nods with his head assuming by the silence that they’re all understood.

“Our orders are to neutralize any individual we find on the site whose face doesn’t match with our hostages, which means we do it fast before they get the chance to call for reinforcements. We don’t wanna make a mess out of this.” Price then continues his own talking, marking X’s over the tactic map and giving the next orders to every one of them. It is when Gaz opens his mouth to say something, that Simon’s phone rings for the third time in a row. He curses mentally - he muted his phone the first time; now, it was vibrating in his pocket. Awkwardly, the vibration itself is heard by everyone in the room and they turn their eyes on him almost instantly.

“Hell.” He curses out in a low voice before shaking his head. “My apologies, Captain.” His voice tries its best not to come out too annoyed, but he fails and it does; despite the timing being inconvenient, no one seems to be bothered. Johnny furrows his brows in concern, and looks over at Price, who seems to have the same, perhaps even more intense, look on his face.

Ghost mentions to pull out and turn off his phone once again, but Price is quick to intervene.

“Riley.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Third time in a row; seems like somethin’ serious, get out and pick up.” He states comprehensively.

Despite being slightly reluctant, Ghost agrees - it must be something serious. What, he couldn't come to imagine - but if for a moment in his life he had something close to a hunch, it was now, and it said he should take that call.

“Alright, one minute. Move on without me.” He nods and leaves the room, phone in hand and a worried sigh leaving his nostrils. When the door closes behind him and he walks a bit further down the hallway, he picks up.

“Yes?”

“Is this Lieutenant Simon Riley?” A feminine voice asks from the other side. Sounds in the background, beeps and small, muffled voices.

“Affirmative, who’s this?” He frowns.

“This is from the Special Forces Manchester Hospital, are you familiar with the name- hmm…” She seems to be taking a couple seconds to read, and continues saying your name. 

He freezes in place.

How long has it been since he last heard this name? How long has it been since you vanished like thin air, disappeared, stopped calling or answering? Busy. That’s what he thought. Busy with work, busy with anything. The two of you had always been two busy people, in a desperate need for time.

For a moment, in those torturous seconds of silence, Simon found himself praying to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in, that this nurse wouldn't tell him you’re dead.

“Yes.” It’s all he manages to say, with his eyes running down to the ground in a dead stare. Dead eyes. He gulps, after the despair in his chest makes him speak once again, “Why?”

“Well- sir, you’re her emergency number, we’re calling because we couldn’t manage any family members… She’s in a coma. She was severely injured in combat, and [...]”

His heart stops, like it never did before. He doesn't react, his eyes look around as if he's searching for something - as if searching for his own reaction hidden somewhere within that empty hallway. The weight of your dog tag around his neck seems to be suffocating him now. 

To his silence, the woman continues.

“[...] it’s… currently sort of impossible to predict her state within the next few days, she’s fighting but struggling lots; can you come over?” 

“Yes.” He sharply replies, immediately. His eyes are still on the ground as he closes his eyes, and nods. “I’ll be on my way, yes.” 

“Good.” She replies, and he turns off.

For a moment, he stops to breathe; Ghost wipes his hand over his mouth in a somewhat guilty expression, he should have reached for you. He should have reached you the instant he missed you, your calls. 

“Hell…” He shuts his eyes for a moment, his heart stings like he’s poisoned, it hurts - some sort of pain he swears to god, he probably never felt before. Not when he lost his training dog, nor when he lost friends before - maybe because there were always a lingering possibility between the two of you. It was nothing but a friendship, never had been - but every word, every phrase was full of underlines of sentiment, an immense desire to reveal his interior and spit out the fears he refused to speak about to anyone else.

It's the possibility that kills him now. Even after all this time, not for a second did you cease to exist in his troubled and saddened mind. Suppressed by all the worries and feelings he thought were more important than you.

Not for a moment did he stop thinking about that pleasant end to his career, the retirement he knew he deserved, a house at least isolated from the rest of the world with trees and streams, the snow falling when winter comes and the sun scorching the land. land when summer finally arrived. You, on the front porch. 

You.  You.

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You were leaning back on the sofa, your legs stretched out by the small table that marked the space between you and the balcony railing of his apartment.

The rain fell calmly, some thunder, but few drops. The sound of them falling against the roofs of the houses below the level where you were was echoing in your ears, and he seemed busy drawing patterns among the heavy clouds that covered the sky. 

He gave up trying to find any stars in that rainy sky and found comfort in finding your eyes instead. They were already watching him, almost expecting him to say something, even though the silence between two of you usually speaks volumes more than words itself; you’ve never been good with them, much less him. 

Simon looked down at your dog tag, lying brightly on your bust exposed by the tank top you wore. 

“What do you want to do after retiring?” He asked, his voice calm, his eyes almost closed. He took your necklace between his fingers calmly, and watched your shiny name exposed on the icy metal.

“Gotta be honest with you, can’t see myself retiring.” You replied, with your usual brutal honesty - something he particularly always liked so much about you. “What about you?” 

You don’t mind him, you allow.

“Don’t know.” He was, too, brutally honest. “Seek fuckin’ forgiveness for my sins before I die and end up in hell, I suppose.” 

You laughed.

“Oh, fuck. Gonna die trying to find that, mate.” You admit, raising your eyebrows in another big sip of your beer. “We’re all going to hell… At least we’ll all party there together.” You sounded fun, and your eyes turned into little lines with the genuine smile you let out when noticed that he too laughed at your joke. 

“We’re partyin’? Tell me Johnny isn’t going…”

“He’s my first guest.” You laugh harder.

“Thought that’d be me.” 

“You hate parties.” You raised your eyebrows.

“I don’t hate you.”

You silently smiled and looked away. 

“Fair enough.”

When it came to the two of you, there was nothing but connotation.

You could spend hours in that apartment alone with him - and you did. Did plenty of times, and yet, among subtle touches and heartfelt conversations, the end would be the same. Not in his bed, not in yours: by the door, with a rueful look and smile on your face. 

With a held back hug you never gave, a held back kiss you never allowed and an uncertain goodbye before departing on a mission that could take your or his life.

There was a phone call, once.

He called you late in the night. He was drunk. Too drunk. 

“I’m scared.” His voice was low, fluttering, like those cold days he’d be waiting for his dad’s arrival in his bed, under the covers, terrified and alone. “I’m scared. Can- can I see you? Can I come over, please?” 

As you hugged him on the couch in your own apartment now - that huge, strong, self-sufficient man collapsing in your lap like a baby in need of comfort, your heart was never right about anything like it was right about loving him. In that moment you knew it, you were fucking lost, taken, desperately in love.

You departed; you gave him your dog tag, he gave you his. A memory, an attempt. Do not forget me, you said. Don’t you dare forget me if I die, Simon Riley.

“I didn’t.” 

He looks at you with regret. The devices that help you breathe keep him from seeing you fully, whole - but still behind all those hospital beeps and sounds, you're still as beautiful as the first time he saw you.

He wants to go back to the past. Reverse everything he did, redo it from scratch; the first time he saw you, the first time he felt his heart ache listening to you talk about another man, all the times he repressed his feelings and swore not to love you.

“I want to be with you.” He mutters, his eyes emptily stare down your almost lifeless hand resting over his. “After I retire. I want to be with you.” He says again, closing his eyes, shutting them tight like he’s trying his very best to repress the tears he wants so bad to let fall. 

“I fuckin’ need you- I- how did this happen, how did you…” He gasps as the clock ticks, low, the sound of the hands ringing like doomsday inside his head. Every second that passed was one less with you. There are twenty minutes left for you to enter that operating room, and maybe you’ll never leave it again.

His eyes water and his legs give out, he kneels beside the bed, his suppressed voice sounding like a low, painful moan. The cry of a child who lost everything he had; of a confused teenager who would become a soldier, cold, dead inside, incapable of love - who loved you. Who loves you. “I’m scared. I’m scared- I love you.” He’d mutter, praying to all known gods to not take you. Take anything, anything from me; anything but her.

When the doctors came into the room and hurriedly moved your gurney to the ward in a desperate attempt to get your heart working again with the transplant, Simon sat in the waiting room with his face buried in his hands, his legs trembling. and the false hope that you would come back.

That you’ll be on that front porch, resting ever so happily, a bottle of beer in your hand and the dogs running around. He will have gotten rid of the mask and the habit of wearing it and you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy. You’ll be alive.

“God, please.” He mutters. “You’ve taken so much from me, now please, not this.”

He stands up as the doctor calls his name, with his heart on his hand and regret flashing his face off, he just wants another minute with you, another second with you, enough seconds so he can tell you he love you - he had, for most of his life and now, and he will, for the rest of his days with or without you.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met.

[sleptwithinthesun]

a personal (and very extremely late) fill for the🤞and 🥰 prompts on the spring prompts list, written for t/im d/rake from d/c c/omics. yes, i'm aware it's summer. however, i started this fic over two years ago and it needs to be done.

2K words, next part of the t/imber college au. hope you like it!!

"Look at me for a second?" Bernard asks, tapping the eraser end of his pencil against his notebook a couple of times, just to ensure that he has Tim's attention. It lands just to the right of his half-finished sketch of his roommate, who's typing a lab report up on his laptop on the other side of the library table. 

Tim complies, glancing up and making brief eye contact to show Bernard the slowly-emerging freckles scattered over his cheeks and the ever-present, bruise-like bags under his eyes. They've been getting worse lately, probably due to the arrival of the spring season and its various allergens, even though Tim started taking Benadryl towards the beginning of March. They're now a week into April, with allergy season in full swing.

Bernard's gaze sweeps over Tim's face, and then he squints down at his drawing. After a moment of deliberation, he goes back over Tim's lash line and carefully shades a touch lower and darker than he was previously. "Thanks." 

"No problem," Tim replies, coughing quietly into a fist a second later. It sounds chesty, same as it has been for the past few weeks, and Tim just keeps going, like someone's scratching at his lungs. Which, to be fair, is probably how he feels about the whole thing. He's been getting worse at night recently, waking both himself and Bernard up at early hours in the morning with coughing fits. 

There's not much either of them can do about it, though, and Bernard's not been sleeping well, anyway. Not to any fault of Tim; he's just been… wondering. About some things. Regarding Tim, sure, but not because of him. Nevertheless, he's been staying up with him until his roommate manages to fall back asleep congested snores emanating from his side of the dorm. 

Not for the first time since they'd arrived at the library, Tim suddenly drops his chin towards his chest, eyes pinching shut tightly before his shoulders give a minuscule jerk forwards. He barely manages a shallow inhale before the motion repeats twice more, and then blinks a few times, sniffling quietly into his sweatshirt sleeve. Also not for the first time, Bernard murmurs, "Bless you."

"Ugh, sorry, I don't think I'm dohh—" He cuts himself off with another silent double, and then a third pair for good measure. "Oh, fuck me," Tim mutters, a bit breathless. 

"Christ, bless you times... how many even was that, seven total? They're so quiet; it's hard to tell." Tim nods to confirm the number, his eyes bleary from sneezing as he rubs a knuckle against the side of his nose to quell the remaining itch instead of responding verbally. "Bless you times seven. Why do you sneeze like that, anyway?" 

Tim blinks at him, clearly confused. "Like what?"

"Like… you're completely stifling to the point where they're silent." Bernard fumbles to explain, trying to find the right words without sounding insane. "I don't know anyone who can do that without using their hands or something. It's kind of... uh, impressive, to be honest, but can I ask, why do you sneeze that way? Is there a reason, or is it just...?"

"I don't know," Tim says, then shrugs. "I never really thought about it. It's polite, I guess, to make them quieter. Doesn't bother anyone else."

And Bernard-of-several-months-ago would have simply been content to have even gotten an answer out of Tim in the first place, would have accepted his word without a second thought. But Bernard-of-now can see the little flicker in Tim's eye, the one that means he's lying to him, which makes no sense, because what does Tim have to lie about?

It's a sneeze. There's no backstory to it, as far as Bernard is aware of. It's simple, it's thoughtless, it's inherent. Sure, he knows that people can hold back their sneezes if needed, but at it's base, it's a reaction, and one that's hard to control. The level to which Tim can manipulate his own, though, speaks to something far more complicated than Bernard can even begin to form connotations to.

For now, he has to let it go. Everything about Tim is a mystery, and the code to deciphering him is written between the lines of Dick's offering of his and Jason's phone numbers. So, unless Bernard texts one of them to ask why Tim sneezes weirdly, which is quite possibly the most bizarre question he could even raise, he's on his own.

Don't let it be said that Bernard Dowd doesn't love a challenge.

-

Over the remainder of the week, Bernard keeps an eye on Tim as if he's a sentry assigned to stand guard over him. He does feel weird about it—almost stalkerish, which, honestly and a bit embarrassingly, isn't exactly new to him—but it's not like Bernard's trying to learn anything he didn't already know about Tim's personal life. He lives in the same room as Tim, for crying out loud. Objectively, he's not doing anything wrong. At least, that's how Bernard justifies it to himself.

He's aware that he's being all Bernard about it, looking too deeply into it when, in reality, it's probably nothing more than Tim preferring not to draw attention to himself. At the same time, Bernard can't help but feel as if there's something more to it. After all, Tim decided to hide the fact that he was missing a whole-ass organ for a semester; he truly wouldn't put it past Tim to somehow have a buried trauma about sneezing. It would only make sense for him.

To be perfectly honest, though, Tim is boring.

Bernard didn't notice it in their fall semester, when Tim was being avoidant for the most part and didn't trust Bernard enough to reveal anything about his personal life. Apparently, he wasn't missing out. Tim studies more than anything, and even when he's not studying, he's doing homework or reading or something equally uninteresting. It makes his observation of his roommate very dry.

Until the moment where he invites Tim to sit outside.

They're moving through the quad together, Tim having just attended his linguistics class and heading into a free period while Bernard's done with classes for the day. The April weather is gorgeous, with a nice breeze cutting through the heat of the day. It's so nice, in fact, that Bernard asks—

"Want to stay outside for a bit?"

Tim's steps pause for a moment, hesitating. "Why?"

Bernard can barely stop himself from staring in shock at him. Sure, he grew up in the city, but he spent every moment that he could in the park. "it's... nice?" he ventures. "Plus, you could use more sun."

"First, rude. Second, if you insist." Tim sighs, glancing around for a place to sit. "As long as we're not directly in the sunlight."

Bernard rolls his eyes. "Sure, whatever. Vampire."

Tim scoffs at him, following Bernard as they move to take a seat in the shade underneath a tree. He only seems vaguely annoyed, meaning that he does actually care, at least a little bit. They're not at the point yet where Tim's comfortable being jokingly annoyed or mad with Bernard, since Bernard did it to Tim once and ended up sending Tim into a spiral for the next day over whether he was actually upset.

So. His annoyance here is at least vaguely interesting.

"hn'x! ngt! hnk'tt!"

"Bless you," Bernard murmurs. Tim shakes his head and immediately goes to sneeze again, sitting up with his head tipped back slightly, eyes half-shut, mouth partly open as his breath hitches quietly.

"hh...hi'h? hHhh—" He's trying to hold it back and is failing miserably. "—hk't! hxxt! hn'gt! h'hHn'gt-sh!"

"Bless you."

"Why'd you want to be out here?" Tim asks, voice nasal. His head immediately bobs down toward his chest again, nose pressed into the crook between his thumb and pointer finger to at least give himself a semblance of modesty. This set is even more numerous than the first, each sneeze coming in rapid succession.

Bernard sits up straighter in alarm. "Uh... exactly how allergic are you to pollen?"

Tim's response is another rapid set of sneezes.

"You need to get better at putting your foot down," exclaims Bernard, grabbing Tim by his free wrist and hauling him upward as Tim sneezes again and again, each perfectly stifled and barely making any sound. The only reason, Bernard reflects, that he can hear them is because Tim's sneezing too much to fully have control.

"You're—gxt'sh!—telling me," Tim gasps out. Mockingly, he attempts to add, "You could use more su'h'nxt! hxt'ch!"

"Okay, Sneezy, let's get back to the very climate-controlled indoors," says Bernard, hastily dragging him toward the building.

-

Tim's lying down on his bed when Bernard walks into their dorm, three days after the incident, absently staring up at the ceiling. There's nothing taped up there—Bernard checked.

"You okay?"

"Fine," replies Tim. "Just... thinking."

Bernard sets his backpack down next to his bed, placing the binder in his hands down on top of his comforter to ensure he doesn't forget about the homework in it. "Anything in particular?"

Tim shrugs, which is his way of saying Yes, but I don't want to talk about it. Bernard had given up on trying to interpret all of Tim's nonverbal signals on his own and reached out to Dick the day after Tim's allergy attack; Dick had informed him that reading Tim was like learning a new language. He wasn't very communicative at best, even with members of his own family, and it took Dick years to figure everything out. Jason is still struggling, apparently, which Dick attributes to Jason being in college while Tim was adjusting to living with the Waynes. He's gradually been passing tips onto Bernard, trying to make his living experience a tad easier.

Uncertainly, he walks over to Tim's side of the room, stopping just short of sitting on the bed with his roommate. Looming over him feels like an equally terrible option, and Bernard just stands there for an awkward moment.

"This is a little creepy."

"You're one to talk," Bernard says before having the chance to properly filter himself. He's trying to get Tim to open up, here.

Tim huffs out a laugh, then sniffles quietly. "Just sit down."

Bernard does. Neither of them say anything for a long minute, with the silence frequently broken by Tim's soft sniffles as he continues fighting off the pollen in the air.

"You know you can sneeze, right?" he blurts out. Tim doesn't blink. "Like, around me. I don't mind, I promise."

When Tim doesn't respond, Bernard keeps rambling. "It's just that, every single time I've seen you sneeze you're stifling. No matter what. Even if you're alone in the room, you don't make any noise, and, like, it's worrying me. It's not, um, normal. Not that you're not normal, obviously, but—"

"Bernard."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Bernard rolls his head to look at Tim. His roommate is still looking at the ceiling instead of at him, but he's talking.

"I was..." He pauses, starts over. "My parents very much believed in the adage of children being seen and not heard. To them, my silence wasn't an expectation, it was a strict necessity for me."

"Tim..."

"For whatever reason, they included normal bodily functions in that." Tim scoffs, but it's devoid of any feeling, as if he's making the noise only because he's expected to show disapproval toward his parents. "Coughing, sneezing, anything like that was taboo. So, I learned to keep quiet."

"You know that's not okay, right?"

"I've heard that nearly a thousand times from Dick and Jason." Now, he turns to face Bernard. "I'm aware."

Bernard sighs. "Do you believe it?"

A moment of silence. Three different emotions pass over Tim's face, too quickly for Bernard to parse through them all, but something sad is certainly there. "I'm working on that," he says eventually.

"That's good," replies Bernard, and they fall back into silence before Tim sneezes adorably, much like a baby kitten.

"hk'sh'iew!"

"Oh my God."

"Shut up!"

[st4rgiirll]

injuries

anthony lockwood x injured!gn!reader

warnings: blood, fluff!, lockwood being incredibly full of himself (as per usual)

synopsis: you cut your hand with your rapier while tracking down a ghost, having been caught off guard. lockwood comes to your rescue, patching you up once you arrive back home.

a/n: im so srry its short, i had no motivation but i did at the same time. i also changed the plot half way through writing and i couldn't be bothered to change the first half.

lucy, lockwood and you walk through the door, you were lucky lucy carries around a small emergency first aid kit, you would've thought you'd bleed out by the time you got back to 35 portland row.

lockwood grips your unhurt wrist, dragging you softly up the stairs to the bathroom. you hop up onto the counter and wait for lockwood to gather the supplies he needed.

he eventually finds them, after a few minutes of rummaging around the bathroom. he gently grips your injured hand, being extremely cautious.

lockwood wraps your hand lightly, careful not to hurt you. "i thought you were supposed to be an expert with your rapier..." he teases.

"i got scared, she just jumped infront of me and i got startled.." you roll your eyes. "technically wasnt my fault."

"i think that means it is your fault, darling," lockwood tells you, smiling at your response. still, he keeps tending to your wound, being sure to avoid hurting you any further.

"you know, i wouldn't have been scared of that ghost," he says, trying to comfort you by showing how brave (and also just awesome) he is.

"full of yourself much locky?" you smirk with a small blush on your face, knowing how annoyed he got by people calling him that.

he only ever let one person call him 'locky' and he told you many great stories of her, of flo bones. the legend herself.

he smirks in response to your retaliation.

"plus, the ghost had an ugly face" you shrug. "AND she just randomly popped up infront of me, she could've touched me and you would be sobbing so hard over me." you tease, a small smile on your face since you knew he would be upset.

you and lockwood had been in a relationship for a few months now, it was fairly new but you knew you loved eachother. you didnt want to wait for anything, any of lockwood and co. could die at any moment, you prefer to spend as much time as humanly possible with all of them, which is fairly easy since you all live together.

he chuckles a bit, even he knew it would be true.

"well, good thing you arent dying on me any time soon." he says, he seems to be reassuring himself with the statement.

you smile at him as he finishes up wrapping your hand.

"thanks locky." you laugh, hopping off the counter.

"i love you y/n." he smirks, you blushed.

he knew exactly how to get you to blush, he was quite proud of the fact honestly.

"i love you too." you smile, reaching up to kiss his cheek.

"why're you so lanky?" you mutter, pulling away from his cheek.

"i dont know love, genetics i guess." he winks.

"well, m' gonna thank genetics for making you so handsome" you say.

"im gonna have to thank em' for making you so perfect love" he smiles, leaving you standing in the bathroom a blushing mess.

[reggieswriter]

Microfic

Warnings: Blood, MC death, hurt/angst, let me know if there's more please!

Word Count: 1.3?

1-18-2063

A car crash. Pieces of the car littered across the road. A small red car and a big pickup truck. The red car is flipped upside down and lying on the grass. It's wet and slippery outside. Shards of glass lay surrounding the small car like a protective circle. It reeks of gas or perhaps oil? Something is spilling out of the pick-up truck. The pickup truck is on the other side of the road, only on its side. The truck driver gets out. He scrambles out of the truck. He's young. You can tell because of the way he freaks out, and he grabs his phone from his pocket immediately. He's panicking badly. If he wants the other driver to survive, he needs to remain calm and call emergency services. It's the logical move. Instead, he dials a family member or friend. It doesn't matter he called someone to pick him up so he can leave the scene. Even though it's stupid and his DNA is everywhere and the trucks even registered in his name, he still tries to run and hide. He doesn't notice the red car that is lighting on fire or how the car is eerily silent. No. He's too scared that he'll get into trouble for being on his phone while driving to realize that the other driver hasn't gotten out yet. His simple choice of leaving the scene causes larger consequences. He's selfish. A selfish young man. Once he notices, he'll help though, right?

Wrong.

The other driver finally wakes up. He winces when he tries to move, and there's a pounding in his head. He probably thinks it's just a headache, but it's actually a concussion. When he finally goes to open his eyes and realizes the situation he's in, he attempts to unbuckle himself. Even after struggling, he still can't get the seatbelt off. Then everything is black again for him. The car blows up. He dies because of a selfish driver. He dies every single time. I can never seem to save him. I will this time. I have to.

He was my boyfriend. Regulus. That was, no, is his name. We have been dating for 6 years. 6 years and I still never proposed out of fear of committing. We only met because of a new feature the government added to our phones. Time travel. It was simple and expensive to get, but we had both bought it. We met in the 1980s. I hadn't realized he was the same as I was until he asked me bluntly. I guess I was too obvious, but he didn't seem to mind. It was all history after that. He knew of my fear and still stayed. Well, until he couldn't. Which brings me back to now. The government has 2 rules:

Stay safe.

Don't mess with the timeline.

I'm about to break number 2. It's not fair how he died. It's not fair that I didn't get to say goodbye. So I'll save him. I'll get him out of the car or stop the man from driving in his lane. Anything it takes. Only it won't save him. I keep trying and trying, but even when I save him, he dies. Whether it be by brain bleeding or getting hit by another car when walking across the road. He always dies. I've gone back over and over, but he always dies and it's not fair. I should be able to save him. I've memorized everything down to the car license plate number, hoping to fix it. But nothing ever works. I know I have little time left. The government will find out what I'm doing and then im truly screwed. I won't stop until I'm killed and they know it. I jump out of my thoughts at the sound of a crash. It's time. Before I can move from my crouched position hidden behind a bush on the side of the road, I hear a click and something cold pressing into the back of my head.

"Don't move."

Someone says quietly, careful not to alert the two people on the road. The voice is cold and harsh.

"Hands above your head."

I do as the man says for a moment before he grips my hair and pulls back. I see a glimpse of him. He's old. Gray hairs and old school, which is probably why he's using a gun. I wince and stare at him. He's obviously going to kill me. I saw his badge shining earlier.He's with some type of government agency. It doesn't matter which one, they all do the same thing. Handle people who mess with the timeline. I knew they'd trace me at some point. I had been doing this for 6 years. It was only a matter of time. I'm surprised he hasn't already shot me. I feel him dig the gun into the back of my head.

"Watch."

I pause. Did he just say watch? Does the man mean to watch him die? He knows I can't allow that. I'll try again. Why would he-

"I said, watch."

I open my eyes and stare at the scene before me. I had it practically memorized. Burned into my memories forever. The scene is almost comforting, as it is gut wrenching. I watch as the young man climbs out of the truck and panics. He calls a friend or family member and they come pick him up. They leave the scene and then I see Regulus' hand. His soft bloodied hand reaches out the upside down car's window and struggles. I know what happens next and I go to move. The man hits me down.

"Don't make me repeat myself."

I stare with wide eyes as the car explodes. over and over I've seen this happen. Watched him die in so many ways and yet it always kills me. My body shakes as I watch. Before I can react or speak, he twists me around.

"Now that that's settled, it's time for me to do my job."

I stare at him. His badge shines and I just stare. I'm not getting out of this situation. His eyes are cold. Disconnected.

"We can't stay. Give me your phone."

I'm still frozen in place and he sighs and grabs my phone before clicking a single button to bring us back to the present.

1-18-2069

I fall down like a rabbit hole until I'm on my couch. The man still stands in front of me and he flashes me his badge. His name is Stanley. It's a basic name but suits him. I blink out of my frozen state and stare at him. I go to speak but he beats me.

"Don't try to reason with me. You die right here no matter what."

I snap my mouth shut and just stare,

"Why?"

I know what he's asking. Why go back to the past over and over for 6 years in a row? Why not give up and settle down? At some point, most people lose hope. They stop trying and give up. Not me. Not for him.

"I love him."

I answer back quietly. He stares at me for a moment before sighing.

"Is this what he would want?"

His question has me pausing. Is it what he would want? He was always very generous and kind. Quiet of course. But always was kind. Would he truly want me wasting my life trying to save him over and over?.... I don't have a life without him. I know my answer.

"Just do it."

The man stares at me for a moment and notices the look in my eye. He mumbles something under his breath and rolls his eyes. He's probably ridiculing me for being some lovesick idiot, but I don't care.I know my fate and I accept it. I kept pushing myself to save him over and over. I pushed and pushed even when I knew I shouldn't have. It was my only issue. My only problem. I tried to change fate. I smile, closing my eyes as he presses the gun into my forehead. Maybe I'll finally save Regulus. Save myself. Then it's all black.

[tea-and-secrets]

my long distance girlfriens wants to help me get my space picked up so so so bad so she does her best to remind me and reassure me and i love her to death i dont know how to tell her that even the thought of someone Expecting me to clean something hits so many triggers at the same time that my brain just shuts down. thats no way to live i cant subject her to clean up after me for the rest of my life. but ive been trying to work on this one for like six years i dont know if its ever gonna get better. but it has to, i cant make her do that, i cant be that kind of boyfriend! im not going to make a housewife out of my girlfriend, thats disgusting! but no matter what i try wanting is apparently not enough to keep the scared little kid in my brain from freaking out and pressing the emergency button whenever responsibilities and cleaning are mentioned in the same sentence i guess!

.