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#im not that great at explaining my thoughts sorry-
aboringredmop ยท 3 days
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k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!
(edit: here's the full recording! )
Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)
they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)
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they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)
they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show
they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol
they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)
they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock ๐Ÿ˜”) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.
Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"
Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)
they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)
also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key
they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically
also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho
they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck
lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)
international release of the show soon!
Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it
3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!
they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them
they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background
then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends
the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs
the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)
Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it
I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am
edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)
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(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)
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yoonyeon0 ยท 1 day
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Omg I js discovered ur blog โค๏ธ
Can I request relationship headcanons with Gaolang? Iโ€™m so in love with that man :((
THANK YOU <3
never wrote for Gaolang but I tried my best ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ™ thank you for the ask!
Kaolang/Gaolang Realationship Hcs!
letโ€™s go!
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It was kinda of hard to get into a relationship with Gaolang, he was very quiet and kept to himself and he most likely didnโ€™t even get the hint that you were hitting on him at first. But once you finally got into a relationship, everything felt easier.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
I feel like Gaolang dates to marry so he will definitely have you move in with him within the first couple of weeks. Of course you wonโ€™t have to lift a single finger during this process.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolong spoils you but with caution. He will get you whatever you want but be ready because after that youโ€™re gonna have to wait until Christmas.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolang (unintentionally) introduces you to Saw Paing. Of course, it probably went down with Saw bursting in while you are at home alone waiting for Gaolang to come back from grocery shopping and naturally, you thought it was an intruder. So you can guess how that went. You and Saw definitely went on a bumpy start but ended up being VERY close.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolong INTENTIONALLY introduced you to Karo. Youโ€™re not as great friends with the large fisherman but you definitely like and enjoy his company as much as Gaolang does.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolong is the ideal househusband. Even though you both work, Gaolang still and will make time to prepare you a meal. He might clean but he expects you to do the laundry. Either way, itโ€™s more like youโ€™re the husband and heโ€™s the wife. ๐Ÿค—
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolang trains you. I mean, he never wants you to join in fighting arenas like he does but it does come in handy; being able to fight for self defense. Heโ€™ll teach you the basics of boxing and maybe a bit of Muy Thai.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
I feel like Gaolang doesnโ€™t want kids. Mostly because of his dangerous lifestyle but also because he is barely there at home to attend to you, let alone kids. All the stuff with the underground fighting and the boxing championships keeps him busy so heโ€™d have a lot of guilt if he couldnโ€™t see his kids because of that. โ˜น๏ธ
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolong is INCREDIBLY patient. If you ever get in a dispute (which happens literally NEVER) Gaolang will wait until youโ€™re calm before explaining to you his side of whatever the problem is and talking it out.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
If Gaolang could get a penny for the times youโ€™ve asked him to meet Rama heโ€™d have 7 pennies, which isnโ€™t a lot but it annoys him slightly. Eventually he caves and introduces you to him and of course, like you do to all of his friends, you become super close.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
I feel like Kaolang shows you his phone without any reason. Even if you ask, heโ€™ll give it to you without even thinking about it. He knows heโ€™s loyal and doesnโ€™t blame you for thinking that heโ€™s doing something because of the late hours he comes home. Obviously you never find anything.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Kaolong has you as his lock screen and home screen, he wants anyone that sees his phone to see you.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolang is very romantic. He will have a candle light dinner with you if youโ€™d like or if you want, heโ€™ll play with you in the rain. He likes showing his love to you in ways in physical terms rather than verbally.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Gaolang definitely has a playlist he made for you. He doesnโ€™t even listen to music much but he listens to that playlist and does it once a day as a reminder of the luck he has to have you.
โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ  โ€”โ€”โ€” โœ 
Definitely gets a matching necklace that he never ever forgets to wear. Heโ€™d be pissed if he did.
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this ask was responded to SO LATE im so sorry ๐Ÿ˜ž
๐™–๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ง๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ๐™จ ๐™—๐™š๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ค๐™ฃ! ๐˜ฟ๐™ค ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™–๐™ก, ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฃ๐™จ๐™ก๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š ๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ .
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k0ushii ยท 5 months
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Hi, if you donโ€™t mind, could you give your opinion on whether Tokyo Debunker is currently worth playing? Iโ€™ve been sitting around and watching, and so far Iโ€™m not sure a good story is worth putting up with the horrendous gacha and currency systems Iโ€™m hearing about. Thank you!
When it comes to the pros and cons of the game, this post explains it better than i could.
As of now, the gameplay isn't that great so i wouldn't recommend playing tokyo debunker if that's something that would bother you. If you really want to get into the story but don't want to deal with the whole gacha and currency nonsense, you could watch it on youtube. (i think someone already uploaded the prologue there)
Personally it wasn't a huge issue for me since the story and the characters were interesting enough to keep me playing. I definitely don't recommend spending any money on this game though (apparently the cards dont even have stories on them so theres that)
If you're still unsure on whether its worth it you can still give the game a try. you can always delete it if it's not for you
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reel-fear ยท 4 months
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
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5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
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Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
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7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
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He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
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So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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townslore ยท 4 months
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discovery of the day
#im sorry i do Not see what everyone sees in this movie. although from the years of browsing the internet ive began to realize#that i actually dont know if people actually like the movie or not#why is everything so rushed#their romance felt like nothing to me because i dont KNOW what they see in eachother#listen you dont have to tell me straight up into the camera why they love eachother#but the aggressive kissing and cut sex scenes arent telling me much#i get that it came out in 2005 but cutting mostly every gay sex scene? even the kissing for the most part?#but oh we NEED to see this happy husband and wife doing it. yes im bitter#a german movie by the name of summer storm came out the year before this one and actually shows something that feels like actual passion#i sound like i need to see people doing it in these movies all the time I promise thats not it#but even the kissing? the thing i Actually like the most? the thing that makes me feel things? felt like nothing at all#and oh i forgot that this is a tragic gay movie where one of them dies. Oh yeah. forgot.#mentioning summer storm again: it actually has a relatively happy ending. feels good that i dont need to be reminded of how gay people are#doomed 24/7.#the romance started good. with jack telling the guy whos name i already forgot to get his ass in the tent already.#the Pulling his arm over my body thing. it was going great#THEN IT WENT SO FAST! WHY WAS HE SUDDENLY SO INTO IT! WHY WERE THEY BOTH SUDDENLY DOING IT#im sorry i expected a slighter slow burn than this!!! calm down cowboys i have no idea why you two like eachother all of the sudden!#i seriously thought they would show these little moments of tension#and it just growing bigger and bigger#until they couldnt take it anymore#that would explain the aggressiveness of it! why they were so desperate! but it literally just HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!#im sorry i. I expected more of this movie that i hear so much about.#the most it made me feel was at that moment that turned into a meme where i thought โ€œHop on fortniteโ€#chuckled. that was it. did i cry? did my heart race at any moment? was i worried about what was gonna happen? not Once#im so. Disappointed.#after this i wanted to watch summer storm but netflix removed it. Its a german only movie no one knows from 2004. where the hell am i gonna#๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ that#AAAGHHHH!!!!!!!#not being able to watch summer storm made me cry more than this movie did What the hell
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noxious-fennec ยท 2 years
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PLEASEEEE tell me about the symbolism in your drawing Oh i am dying to know
HII why thank you for asking!! I'll try my best to answer concisely but Tl;dr I'm not normal about either cwilbur or flower symbolism :) it also must be noted that a lot of my decisions are entirely based on my personal cultural experience so I hope if anything you find it interesting.
For an overview, The peice is inspired by art nouveau, namely alphonse mucha and henri privat livemont, and is mostly based on this hamlet production poster by the former. The composition however is not based on said illustration, and is slightly inspired in part by stained glass and fences of the movement. The clothing cwilbur is wearing is from the edwardian period, if I've got my references correct it's earlier in the period, though not any year in particular. It differs drastically in the fact that the colors are very vibrant (I can't help putting cwil in shades of red, ho16 permanently changed my brain chemistry), and that the Cape part of the inverness cape is entirely too short. Otherwise I've attempted to keep the general silhouette accurate.
Now the plant symbolism:
First: Arabian jasmine (which fun fact are not actually the same as the 4 petal vine yasmine, has a different name, Full (ูู„), and they grow on shrubs) and the Damascus rose go together because of two reasons: 1) i didn't know other flowers to put there and 2) they're very closely tied in my brain. If you try to find their symbolism you'll find a lot of things about beauty and purity, as is common with any white flower or rose, but my reasoning differs. Without going into too much detail, I intended for them to symbolise community and belonging.
Daffodils (the ones depicted are the ones most common in my region, they may not resemble the expectations but they are indeed daffodils) mean death rebirth and hope, its a flower i generally associate with cwil. Same meaning goes for the white lilies. And poppies have a heavy association with war and generally symbolise remeberance and hope for peace, and thus, l'manberg association.
The next five are flowers that represnt certain characters strictly based on cwilbur's preception of them, but they can be applied to others as well, i just thought these were most important:
Freesia: especially when yellow, usually means thoughtfulness, trust and friendship. represents cranboo.
Orange/tiger lilly: pride, hatred, status, tenacity.ย  Cquackity
Lilly of the valley: cmon we all know this one, ctommy
Boat orchid: virtue and morality, a gesture of respect and friendship. Ctubbo
Gladiolus: diminutive of gladius(sword); strength of character, moral integrity and rememberance. ctechno
pomegranate tree and fruit: pomegranates have a very different connotation in Western media, from what I can glean, as opposed to what I'm used to them being perceived as (I won't derail this but I can elaborate if needed). In short, I've chosen to take advantage of this double meaning and so its here to represent life death and resurrection while the tree is for family and home.
On a side note, I was originally going to do night blooming jasmine (ู…ุณูƒ ุงู„ู„ูŠู„) but it wasn't working, the symbolism of it however still stand: its a flower many love and think smells amazing, but rarely do they actually want the burden of having it in their own yards because of how deathly strong it smells. I was intending on using it to symbolise the complicated nature of cwilbur's relationship with the important people in his life.
And finally, the olive tree: aside from its meanings of peace and friendship, olive trees also mean olive oil which is a product with many healing properties that is not too easy to make and requires a lot of work. i chose it to mean healing and the process thereof.
So yeah that's it, hope it's up to expectation and thanks for the interest means a lot to me <33
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chisatowo ยท 2 years
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Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun
#rat rambles#^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Momentโ„ข#Im ok just kinda emotional#and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not#I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area#if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk#Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd#but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit#like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow#like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff#but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself#I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go#or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh#it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying#Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled#sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional#now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh#idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like#again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice#like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships#and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such#but again its all theoretical rn ๐Ÿ˜”#anyways I need to shower bro its so late#rat vents
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aromanticdayout ยท 7 days
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#fuuuccckkkk#guy i went on a date with kinda insinuating hed only wanna be with me and like okay#thats cute as fuck and i was like damn right you only want me#which ??? okay wtf brain i thought we were considering poly lifestyle whats this now#its been one date get a grip#but okok the dilemma is#ive a fwb and they used to live ages away so we've only hooked up a handful of times#and they have a gf (poly) so its not like this was ever goin towards dating#but they this week moved to where im from for an unrelated reason and were so excited to hang out more#nd obvi hook up more#and i was hype too! so hype! sex with them is great#and ik its literally one date as i said its not panic time rn but it will be sometime soon#cause this boy is likely not gonna want me to keep seeing fwb for sex#but hopefully hell be okay with me seeing him to just hang as friends cause idk if i can handle dropping my fwb as a friend#even tho i could handle dropping the wb bit#but this has happened before for me with two diff ppl so im scared that if this boy becomes my bf im gonna lose a friend#and also dunno how to explain to fwb#but also do i fuck fwb one last time before it gets serious??#is that scummy to do when ive been non stop texting the boy since our date and our next dates planned??#and like yh i could be a good communicator and tell him abt them#but as i said its been one date i dont think he needs to know rn#i just needed to rant that out sorry#not expecting anyone to read all that or have any advice but yeah
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lost-prince-x ยท 1 year
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Fucking hell I'm about to fight a bitch
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portgasdwrld ยท 10 months
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โ˜… Hickeys
เณƒโ€โžทdo they suck (lol) at hickeys, giver or receiver?, how? all answered down below by your beloved Tomieโœจ
เณƒโ€โžทPsss this is a head-canon, take it lightly~
เณƒโ€โžท Suggestive, implied f!reader, NSFW language
เณƒโ€โžท monster trio + Law+ Ace
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: ฬ—ฬ€โž› Luffy
Heโ€™s the type to receive them more than to give
When he realizes he has hickeys, heโ€™s just gonna wonder how itโ€™s even possible and if smth hit his neck during a fight๐Ÿ’€
Probably gonna bug Chopper about it, until he brushes him off mentioning itโ€™s nothing
Then when youโ€™re making out and you linger on his neck, it clicks into his mind. He yells a ยซย ooohh, It was you! ยป after realizing that, it surprises you and you almost bit his skin-
Heโ€™s down to try it when you explain that you want them on you too
ยซย You want me to suck your skin a little until it bruises? A bit like when you bruise after a fight?ย ยป
ยซย Ughโ€ฆ not the same but you got the spirit?ย ยป
Heโ€™s dense, but he tried and he didnโ€™t do as bad as you thought
: ฬ—ฬ€โž› Law
LMAO?? Wouldnโ€™t he be the type to lowkey hit you with a scientific facts that hickeys can kill you if done wrong๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ˜ญ
Ik he would. Im so sorry๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ
On another note, tbh I feel like heโ€™s just sooo into it, when his mind is fogged by lust. He will be making out with you and damn, heโ€™s now leaving wet kisses all over your neck. That itself, just awaken some type of possessive strike and youโ€™re left with hickeys a bit everywhere.
Will quietly eye them when yโ€™all are cuddling after sex. He wonโ€™t comment on it beside if you point them out.
โ€œThey look great.โ€
It would be the most reaction you will get out of him. Heโ€™s so hot though- intrusive thoughts but they are real ๐Ÿ˜”
He doesnโ€™t mind at all if you leave some on him fr. Like if itโ€™s done within the right vibe and yโ€™all are just kicking it and youโ€™re riding him or yโ€™all in lotus position, he might even groan and moan a little louder and curse under his breath.
: ฬ—ฬ€โž› Sanji
Oh his mouth is ALLL OVERR your body. Heโ€™s kissing, praising, leaving hickeys all over your body. On you chest, between your thighs, on you collarbone.
Heโ€™s almost in a trance while he loves your body and mark it. Heโ€™s gotta to enjoy his pretty lover and you bet heโ€™s gonna make it known that you are his and heโ€™s the lucky man who has you!!
Heโ€™s so sweet about it, with sweet compliments, but itโ€™s a bit messy too. Wet patches, mumbles from his muffled lips.
Heโ€™s SOOOOO down if you wanna do it on him. He gets very excited and canโ€™t stop smiling and touching your body.
โ€œYes of course Iโ€™m down! Wanna try it rn? We got time yk..โ€
Best boy ๐Ÿคง
เณƒโ€โžท Zoro
His neck always has some hickeys from you. He thought he hated it, but he quickly got over it and finds it hot now.
He doesnโ€™t care too much if someone stare at them, but he will throw a curse out with a deadpan expression, if someone made a snarky comment.
He also has this possessive strike, so you bet youโ€™re gonna have some type of bruises-hickeys on your body after yโ€™all are done. Because he doesnโ€™t go easy on you, he will be thrusting deep into you, while silencing you with his fingers deep in your mouth. Along with that, his mouth is nibbling on you neck and all your sensitive spots.
Itโ€™s an overstimulating mess.
He smirks satisfied when he sees you marked up, moaning his name and completely lost into his touch.
เณƒโ€โžท Ace
Oh, this man here has the biggest possessive strike out of all the men here.
I touched on the subject a little on my NSFW head canon, but he definitely love giving them. He whines when you do, because heโ€™s apparently allergic to shirts and get slightly annoyed when each of his friends on the ship makes some jokes.
He loves that everyone knows youโ€™re his. Because he gets to have one person for him, that actually feels love toward him and someone he can trust??! Thatโ€™s the life prize!
Every time he fucks you, he makes sure that hickeys are created everywhere on your body.
He will shower you with attention and cocky comments as he sucks on to your skin.
Itโ€™s his specialty๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ
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plutolovesyou ยท 3 months
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Okay.. but like, loser ellie but sheโ€™s also a stoner and explains the entire lore of spider man to you while youโ€™re trying to have seggs and sheโ€™s like stoned out of her mind and yapping about literally spider man ๐Ÿ˜ญ
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before you read!!
โ˜†: THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM CRYING LMFAO had me dying for like 10 mins straight. this is longer than intended bc im a yapper as we know, and i kinda don't know much of the spiderman lore (and you can def tell oops)โ€ฆBUT I LOVE THE WAY YOUR MIND WORKS NONNIE.
โ—‡: sfw but suggestive themes. warning: FAR from my best work, just wanted to keep momentum going ig. basically just fluff, lots of buildup as usual SORRY i have to establish a plot before we get to the good stuffโ€ฆthey're of age obviously, their relationship is left vague/up for interpretation so fill in the blanks w/ your own thoughts! โ€œbabeโ€ pet name usage, consumption of weed, duh. ok i suppose that's all. OH AND SBWM REFERENCE HAHAHA (shameless self plug :3) + 1.0k wc.
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One nice, regular night, chilling at Ellieโ€™s humble abode, getting high, the usual Friday evening activities. You both were laying down in her bed, wrapped up in her dinosaur bedsheets of course, you were resting your head on her chest, occasionally coughing and swatting away the residual smoke that lingered in the air.
The weed had made your head fuzzy and your mouth drier than the Sahara desert, but despite all the not-so-great things, you loved to get high with Ellie.
Sometimes you'd fuck, sometimes you'd talk about life and reminisce about the good, the bad, and the ugly, and sometimes you'd just lay there to enjoy each other's company.
She was so warm and comfortable, you simply wished to merge bodies and become one with her, to make a home inside her ribcage even. You'd be perfectly fine just napping there on her cushiony chest, listening to her steady heartbeat and slow intakes of breath, if it wasn't for the familiar ache of need between your legs.
Shifting to look up at her, she was so incredibly zooted out of her mind, you found it hilarious. Chunky glasses covered in fingerprint smudges and sitting crooked atop her nose, eyes blood-red and so heavy lidded, you'd have thought she was asleep had you not taken a closer look.
You lifted yourself up and pressed your lips to the side of her pink cheek, repeatedly kissing her soft, smooth skin. She let out a husky giggle, her voice all hoarse and crackly from the substance. โ€œHiiii.โ€
She dragged out the vowel, grinning widely at you. Her smile was infectious, and you laughed at her state. Burying your face again in the crook of her neck, you mumbled, โ€œHi Ellieโ€ฆyou're so cute.โ€
Tangled up together, you kissed her some more on her neck, wanting to be as close as possible to her. She sighed, and angled her head to give you better access to more surface area. โ€œThat feels nice.โ€ She'd slur, and you were pretty turned on at this point, to say the least.
It was worth asking. โ€œEllieโ€ฆdo you wanna fuckkk?โ€ You whisper against her ear, and watch in delight as the bright-red blush spreads across her entire face like a wildfire, even reaching her collar, and spreading underneathyour shirt. โ€œUm, yeah, duh. Cโ€™mere.โ€
You pressed a sloppy kiss to her lips, tangling your hands in her auburn locks and parting your puffy lips to invite her tongue in, not noticing the spit dribble down your chin where your faces met. Her breathing quickened immediately, and she whined into your mouth, the kisses getting even messier to the point where your teeth were clinking together, so you backed away for a breather.
The two of you shifted positions so she was now on top of you, resting her hand on your hip, thumb rubbing small circles. She moved in to initiate more lip-locking, but pulled away abruptly.
โ€œBabe I forgot to tell you, so yโ€™know Peter Parker, right?โ€ And there she goes.
โ€œYeah, yeah I know him, can you just-โ€ You try to rush past the beginnings of her rambling, because you knew once she got started, there was no end in sight. At least for a while.
You tried pulling her in to meet your lips again by the back of her head, but were met with lots of resistance. She seemed to look more alert now, a miracle. The power of superheroes!
She shuffled off of you and sat upright, assuming a cross-legged position, clearly not noticing your exasperated huffs and purposely obnoxious eye rolling, and the fact that there was a whole-ass human, half undressed, horny girl on her bed right there in front of her, who was slowly losing patience.
Ellie just went to her own world. Her eyes sparkled with passionate wonder as she thought about the series so dear to her heart. โ€œOkay I rewatched all the movies a few days ago and I noticed something newโ€ฆโ€
You were ready to give up what you originally had in mind, she was too far gone. She talked and talked endlessly, and you had to feign interest, nodding along and murmuring, โ€œMhm, yeah Els. Wow that's cool. Huh, never knew.โ€ As enthusiastically as you could, so she didn't feel like she wasn't being listened to.
It was worth noting too though, when she started info-dumping about her interests she really was adorable, an excitement in her grassy eyes you never see otherwise, gesturing wildly with her hands and mapping out ideas to make it easy for someone who's never seen any of it to digest all this new information.
โ€œ...And then, in the movies Into the Spiderverse and Across the Spiderverse, there's this character called Gwen Stacy.โ€
She stops to cough and clear her throat, now seemingly appearing to completely forget that you were even there.
โ€œAnd- oh yeah! She's also in the comics and ugh she's awesome, I really love her suit. It's got a hood on itโ€ฆif I were to have a spider suit, it would be her style. Hm, it would also be mostly like, greenโ€ฆwith red accents, ah I'm gonna show you all the sketches I made of it. But anywayโ€ฆโ€
To be completely honest, you've been out of the mood for enough time now, and you've come to the realization that it actually didn't bother you.
This was Ellie, and you loved her for her! There was always next time you two met for a smoke session, you just loved spending time with someone so treasured such as her, and you'd be lying to say the Spiderman world wasn't a little interesting.
"That's so cool, wait. Okay can you explain the timeline of it all, oh and also how do all these different movies interact, is it the same universe, or something like the multiverse I think you mentioned?โ€
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nereidprinc3ss ยท 5 months
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do you believe me now? | 4
in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.
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18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses
(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!
โ€œThree million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.โ€
Youโ€™ve lost count of how many stupid math questions youโ€™ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think youโ€™ve finally stumped him.ย 
โ€œThat one is complicated.โ€
You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye.ย 
โ€œYouย donโ€™t know.โ€
โ€œI do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you arenโ€™t a math person.โ€
โ€œBullshit!โ€ You scoff, โ€œyou donโ€™t know!โ€
โ€œIt would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. Itโ€™s a really big number.โ€
โ€œOh,ย really big, huh?โ€ you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. โ€œUmโ€ฆ what numbers did I say?โ€
Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign.ย 
You look at it.ย 
And then you set your phone down.ย 
โ€œI was right, huh?โ€ he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your poutyย wrongness.ย 
Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is anย e? Why are we doing algebra?โ€
Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside.ย 
โ€œThe e stands for exponent. Itโ€™s to the power of ten.โ€
โ€œEver heard of aย rhetorical question?โ€
โ€œYes, I have.โ€
Itโ€™s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re annoying. Letโ€™s do something else.โ€
You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, heโ€™s still in his suit from workโ€”heโ€™d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment.ย 
He looks good. Almostย tooย good.ย 
โ€œSomething like what?โ€ he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek.ย 
โ€œSomethingโ€ฆ naked?โ€
His grin widens and he shakes his head.ย 
โ€œMe naked or you naked?โ€
Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth.ย 
โ€œMmโ€ฆ why not both?โ€
โ€œHm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?โ€
The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencerโ€™s to kiss him.ย 
โ€œBecause youโ€™reย soย smart, and you think itโ€™s a great idea.โ€
He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.
โ€œYou sound sure of yourself.โ€
โ€œBecause I am!โ€ You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. โ€œIt doesnโ€™t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I donโ€™t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.โ€
He grabs your wrist carefully.ย 
โ€œIt is notย moral,โ€ he scoffs. โ€œWe havenโ€™t even talked about it yet.โ€
โ€œReally? Because I feel like weโ€™ve talked about it aย lot.โ€ย 
He begins to reply, but you realize you donโ€™t want to get into a debate over whether youโ€™veย technicallyย talked about it yet. โ€œI donโ€™t even care! If thatโ€™s all thatโ€™s standing in your way, then letโ€™s talk about it. Right now.โ€
Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek.ย 
โ€œFine. But I have things to say youโ€™re not going to like.โ€
โ€œSo business as usual?โ€
He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best.ย 
โ€œI know you probably wonโ€™t see it this way, butโ€”sex is different than everything else weโ€™ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connectionโ€”thatโ€™s all true. Which is why, inย my opinion, itโ€™s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because itโ€™s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust andโ€”andโ€ฆ care about.โ€
A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.
Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. Youโ€™ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesnโ€™t ache just a little in your whole body.ย 
You cover his hand with your own.ย 
โ€œAre you going to break up with me anytime soon?โ€
Spencerโ€™s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion.ย 
โ€œWhat? No!โ€
โ€œAre you going to cheat on me?โ€
โ€œAbsolutely not, Iโ€”โ€
โ€œThen Iโ€™m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.โ€
โ€œHoney, I just want you to be 100% sure that Iโ€™m what you want.โ€
โ€œOh my god,โ€ you groan, flopping onto your back once more. โ€œI haveย beggedย you to sleep with me onย multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about itย literallyย every time I see you. I donโ€™t know how toย beย any surer.โ€
Itโ€™s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal youโ€™d been anticipating doesnโ€™t comeโ€”instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning overย you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies.ย 
โ€œEveryย time?โ€
โ€œโ€ฆyes, every time,โ€ you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks.ย 
โ€œInteresting. And what is it that you think about exactly?โ€
You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way heโ€™s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because youย knowย itโ€™s a false pretense.ย 
โ€œUgh, I donโ€™t know! Donโ€™t make me answer that!โ€
โ€œYou said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,โ€ he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. โ€œTell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.โ€
You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this.ย 
โ€œIโ€ฆ I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.โ€
Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something soย un-sexy.ย 
โ€œIt might, sweetheart. Thatโ€™s one of the reasons weโ€™ve held back. Iโ€ฆย reallyย donโ€™t want to hurt you. I donโ€™t even know if I can.โ€
You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel.ย 
โ€œSometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.โ€
He kisses your palm.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™ll be okay. It doesnโ€™t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, youโ€™re resilient.โ€
โ€œExactly. Soย youย have to get over yourself.โ€
Spencer laughs like he wasnโ€™t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.ย ย 
โ€œYeah. Yeah, maybe I do.โ€
Heโ€™s smiling again as he leans down and kisses youโ€”a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him.ย 
โ€œPlease?โ€ you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you.ย 
โ€œWhat is it that you think you want? You donโ€™t even know what youโ€™re asking for.โ€
โ€œTell me,โ€ you beg, chasing his lips. โ€œTell me what youโ€™re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.โ€
Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly.ย 
โ€œYou want to know what Iโ€™d do to you?โ€
โ€œYesโ€”โ€ you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesnโ€™t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds.ย 
โ€œWellโ€ฆ we both know how anxious you get,โ€ he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. โ€œYouโ€™re hard to get out of your head when youโ€™re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute youโ€™re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch youโ€”so first I would touch you like Iโ€™ve touched you before. Iโ€™d make sure you know howย prettyย you are and how good you deserve to feel.โ€ You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. โ€œYouโ€™re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?โ€
As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no.ย 
โ€œI mean I need you relaxed and wet. Youโ€™ll excuse my crude language.โ€
You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on itโ€™s almost painful.ย 
โ€œWhat are you gonna do after that?โ€
โ€œWhat else is there to do but fuck you after that?โ€ he breathes. โ€œYou want me to tell you how Iโ€™d fuck you?โ€
Something about it makes you whine salaciously. Youโ€™ve heard him curseโ€”youโ€™ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when itโ€™s low in your ear and youโ€™re covertly undressing him and heโ€™s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly.ย 
โ€œYes, please.โ€ย 
He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting.ย 
โ€œI would have to take my time with you. Youโ€™ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you wonโ€™t, but you will. Iโ€™m going to have to be so,ย soย careful with you, angel. Itโ€™s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.โ€
โ€œWhy careful? I donโ€™t want that.โ€
He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine.ย 
โ€œYeah, you do. Youโ€™re going to want me to be careful when Iโ€™mโ€”โ€ he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. โ€œRight here. Approximately.โ€
The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almostย sick๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝwith it.ย 
โ€œPlease donโ€™t make me wait anymore. Just do it,ย please, Spencer. I need it to beย you, I donโ€™t want it to be anyone else. I promise Iโ€™m ready.โ€
Itโ€™s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. Heโ€™s finally going to give you what youโ€™ve been begging for.ย 
Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmeringโ€”
And then his phone rings.ย 
You both freezeโ€”he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present.ย 
Heโ€™s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€
Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.
โ€œThis is Reid,โ€ he says, lackluster.ย 
If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is sayingโ€”but you donโ€™t bother listening. Itโ€™s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem.ย 
โ€œOkay. Iโ€™ll be there in an hour.โ€
He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfullyโ€”taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest.ย 
โ€œI have to go right now,โ€ he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place.ย 
You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipperโ€”though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand.ย 
โ€œI know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.โ€
He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?โ€
You force a smile.ย Great.ย So youโ€™ll be spending the night in his bed after allโ€”just without him.ย 
โ€œSure. Thanks.โ€
โ€œYeah.โ€
Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful.ย 
Soon youโ€™re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ he sighs again.ย 
โ€œSpencer, itโ€™s fine. Itโ€™s yourย job. You donโ€™t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.โ€
โ€œI know, butโ€ฆ itโ€™s easier in theory than in practice.โ€
You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesnโ€™t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and heโ€™s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you.ย 
But itโ€™s not their fault. You just want someone to blame.ย 
Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you.ย 
In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound itโ€™s like a chemical reactionโ€”everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. Itย isย a fever dream. Itโ€™s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul.ย 
โ€œSpencer?โ€
โ€œHm?โ€ย 
Itโ€™s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin.ย 
โ€œIโ€ฆโ€
Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesnโ€™t change the fact that heโ€™s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is aย terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential.ย 
He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands.ย 
โ€œYou what?โ€ He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuckโ€”you feel soย observed, now. Like he can read your mind.ย 
โ€œI forget.โ€
FUUUUUUCK.ย 
Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake.ย 
He knows.ย 
He knows you didnโ€™t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and heโ€™s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity.ย 
Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like.ย 
โ€œWell, let me know if you remember.โ€
Itโ€™s too gentle and at the same time he canโ€™t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.
Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly theyโ€™d interacted before.ย 
You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bedโ€”though you donโ€™t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.
But perhaps this is all an overreaction. Itโ€™s not like you owe it to him to sayย I love you, or anythingโ€”it was bad timing, anyway. And why canโ€™tย heย say it? In fact, whyย hasnโ€™tย he said it?ย 
Maybe you have it all wrong.ย 
Maybe heย doesnโ€™tย feel that way about you.ย 
You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick.ย 
24 hours go by.ย 
24 hours go by and you reallyย hadย meant to leave his apartmentโ€”it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldnโ€™t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadnโ€™t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries youโ€™d used up.ย 
Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure.ย 
Before you know it, itโ€™s midnight, and youโ€™re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush youโ€™d bought at the storeโ€”maybe this whole situation hadnโ€™t beenย entirelyย unwitting on your part.)
Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If itโ€™s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how youโ€™re able to doze off.ย 
Youโ€™re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern whoโ€™s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because youโ€™re half asleep, you answer without checking.ย 
โ€œHello?โ€
Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep.ย 
โ€œShit, did I wake you?โ€
โ€œSpence?โ€ you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed.ย 
โ€œโ€ฆ yeah,โ€ he chuckles. โ€œDid you not check who was calling before you picked up?โ€
โ€œI was asleep,โ€ you pout. โ€œKinda.โ€
โ€œOkay. Go back to sleep, honey. Weโ€™ll talk tomorrow.โ€
You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone.ย 
โ€œNo! No, Iโ€™m awake. Whatโ€™s up? Why did you call?โ€
A longer stretch of silenceโ€”youโ€™re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadnโ€™t said.ย 
โ€œI just needed to hear your voice,โ€ he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room.ย 
โ€œOh. Is everything okay?โ€
โ€œAs much as it can be.โ€
โ€œRight.โ€
More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you havenโ€™t had with Spencer in a while.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorryโ€ฆ I donโ€™t really know what to say.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s okay,โ€ he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, โ€œwhy donโ€™t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if youโ€™re too tired.โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t ask me about my day,โ€ you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs.ย 
โ€œWhat? Why?โ€
โ€œBecause if I tell you youโ€™re going to think Iโ€™m super weird and youโ€™re going to break up with me.โ€
Laughter tapers off into gentler tones.ย 
โ€œI already think youโ€™re super weird. Itโ€™s actually one of your most attractive qualities.โ€
Blood rushes to your cheeks.ย 
โ€œBut itโ€™s likeโ€ฆ borderline crazy.โ€
Immediately, he replies, โ€œfor better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.โ€
โ€œThank you for calling me crazy and super weird,โ€ you grumble.ย 
โ€œI also called you attractiveย twice. Tell me.โ€
When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and itโ€™s sort of raspy and low because itโ€™s late and heโ€™s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his faceโ€”you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphoneโ€”you have a very difficult time sayingย no.ย 
โ€œFine. Guess where I am right now.โ€
โ€œUm, I wouldย hopeย youโ€™re in bed?โ€
You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly.ย 
โ€œGuess whose bed.โ€
Silence.ย 
โ€œWhat anย interestingย question.โ€ That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. โ€œIf itโ€™s not mine or yours, weโ€™re going to have issues.โ€
โ€œBut if itย isย yours? Youโ€™re not going to call the police on me?โ€
โ€œWhy would I call the police? To tell them thereโ€™s a pretty girl in my bed and I donโ€™t want her there?โ€
โ€œTo tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holdingย hostagesย there.โ€
Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.
โ€œIf you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.โ€ The idea of beingย handledย has your thighs clenching. โ€œButโ€”yeah, donโ€™t invite anyone else in.โ€ More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. โ€œHaving people in my space makes me anxious.โ€
โ€œBut not me?โ€ Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencerโ€™s reply is soft, as if heโ€™s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.
โ€œNo, not you. You are always the exception.โ€
โ€œGood,โ€ you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. โ€œBecause I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.โ€
Spencer groans.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re killing me.โ€
โ€œWhat? What did I do!โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t talk to me about myย bedย and myย shower. I might start to think youโ€™re intentionally being a brat.โ€
โ€œYou asked me about my day! Iโ€™m just telling you what I did!โ€
But youโ€™re also intentional teasing him forย sure.ย ย After a pause, he sighs in defeat.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.โ€
โ€œWell,โ€ you begin, all too eager, โ€œI had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, andโ€”โ€
โ€œOkay.โ€
โ€œOkay what?โ€ you frown.ย 
โ€œTell me what this is.โ€
โ€œIโ€”I donโ€™t know what you mean.โ€
Lying to a profiler is usually pointless.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.โ€
Caught red-handed.ย Your skin heats up.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t know. I miss you.โ€
He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.ย ย It changes the frequency youโ€™re vibrating at. Itโ€™s hypnotic.ย 
โ€œBut thatโ€™s not really why youโ€™re being intentionally provocative, is it?โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ you admit quietly. โ€œIโ€™m still upset you had to go last night.โ€
โ€œSo youโ€™re frustrated and youโ€™re taking it out on me?โ€
Your brow furrows.ย Well, when he puts it like thatโ€ฆ
โ€œIโ€™m not taking anything out on you.โ€
โ€œI think you are. And I donโ€™t appreciate that, because Iโ€™m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being inย myย bed withย you?โ€
Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes itย appealingย in ways you donโ€™t understand.ย 
โ€œYour bed with me,โ€ you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket.ย 
โ€œRight. So why donโ€™t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?โ€
โ€œI wasnโ€™tย punishingย you,โ€ you mutter.ย 
โ€œNo? You werenโ€™t intentionally talking about usingย myย shower and sleeping inย myย bed and putting onย myย clothes so that Iโ€™d have to think about what I canโ€™t have right now?โ€
โ€œIโ€”โ€
โ€œBelieve me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I canโ€™t have,ย all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you canโ€™t say anything about yourself that is evenย closeย to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts Iโ€™ve been having about you forย seventeen hours.โ€
The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges.ย 
โ€œWhatโ€ฆ what thoughts?โ€
โ€œNone that you need to concern yourself with.โ€
โ€œYou canโ€™t just say something like that and then not tell me!โ€ you insist. Heโ€™s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and itโ€™sย fairย but it doesnโ€™t mean you have toย likeย it.ย 
โ€œI can do whatever I want,โ€ Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because heโ€™s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within youโ€”a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it.ย 
โ€œFine. Then so can I. And thereโ€™s nothing you can do to stop me.โ€
โ€œI wouldnโ€™t dream of it even if I could.โ€
โ€œSpencer,โ€ you warn. โ€œIf you donโ€™t tell me what you were thinking Iโ€™m gonnaโ€”โ€ you look around the room for ammo. โ€œIโ€™m gonna look through your nightstand!โ€
โ€œGo ahead. Iโ€™ll warn you, itโ€™s not very interesting.โ€
โ€œSounds like what someone who has something hide would say,โ€ you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer.ย 
Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contentsโ€”a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, andโ€”
โ€œSpencer Reid,โ€ you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, โ€œwhat areย these?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know. I canโ€™t see what youโ€™re referring to.โ€
โ€œTake a wild guess.โ€
โ€œOh, I have one. But Iโ€™d like to hear youย sayย it.โ€
You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff.ย Wellโ€”they donโ€™t say karma is a bitch for nothing.ย 
โ€œWhat are you doing with a box ofย condoms?โ€ย 
He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you.ย 
โ€œThose are years old. Iโ€™ve used three since I bought them.โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t tell me that,โ€ you whine. โ€œI donโ€™t wanna think about all the other women youโ€™ve seduced.โ€
โ€œYou wanted them to be for you, huh?โ€ย 
You flush. Honestly you hadnโ€™t evenย thoughtย about that.ย 
โ€œIโ€ฆ I donโ€™t know. I kind of just assumedโ€ฆโ€
Itโ€™s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadnโ€™t evenย consideredย protection when youโ€™d imagined sleeping with him before.ย 
โ€œYou assumed what, honey?โ€ he asks, voice soft.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s dumb. I canโ€™t tell you.โ€
โ€œYou can tell me anything. Iโ€™m not going to think itโ€™s dumb, I promise.โ€
You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest.ย 
โ€œWhenever I imagined itโ€ฆ we didnโ€™tโ€ฆย use anything.โ€
The words make you cringe even as youโ€™re saying them. So does the quiet that follows.ย 
โ€œWhen you imagine us sleeping together, we donโ€™t use a condom?โ€
โ€œAh!โ€ The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. โ€œYou didnโ€™t have toย sayย it! You make me sound so weird!โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not weird,โ€ he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, โ€œI just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That saidโ€ฆ we would definitely use protection.โ€
โ€œDo weย haveย to?โ€
The quiet words take even you by surpriseโ€”and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts.ย 
โ€œWe really should, baby. Thatโ€™s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.โ€
โ€œBut youโ€™reโ€ฆ youโ€™re good, right?โ€
Thankfully he picks up on your meaning.ย 
โ€œI am. I wouldnโ€™t touch you if I werenโ€™t.โ€
โ€œAnd Iโ€™m good. So...โ€
โ€œHm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?โ€
You groan in frustration.ย 
โ€œSpencer, Iโ€™m being serious! There are ways to negate that.โ€
โ€œHoney,โ€ he murmurs, โ€œI understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, butโ€”โ€
โ€œIโ€™m telling you itโ€™sย alreadyย dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.โ€
The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaksโ€”to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous.ย 
โ€œThat isโ€ฆ good to know. But even soโ€”Iโ€™m setting a dangerous precedent if Iย alwaysย let you getย exactlyย what you want.โ€
โ€œIs it such a bad thing that I just wannaโ€”I wanna know what it feels like? You donโ€™t want that?โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s not what I said. I want to knowย exactlyย what you feel like. Iโ€™m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.โ€
You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them.ย 
โ€œYou know what I was thinking about?โ€ you ask. Spencer hums curiously. โ€œI was thinking about when you let me, umโ€ฆ when you let me touch you how you touch me.โ€ He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.
โ€œWhen you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?โ€
โ€œWhen Iโ€”yeah,โ€ you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. โ€œAndย ย how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel likeโ€ฆ inside me.โ€
He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like youโ€™re not touching yourself just a little bit.ย 
โ€œYou want me to come inside you?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice.ย 
โ€”
On the other side of the line, Spencer isnโ€™t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and itโ€™s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you donโ€™t seem to realize youโ€™re making.ย 
โ€œReally? That would beย veryย messy, baby. Iโ€™m surprised thatโ€™s what you want.โ€
โ€œBut I really want it,โ€ you breathe. Heโ€™s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This wasย notย how he intended for this call to go, believe it or notโ€”but heโ€™s here now.ย 
โ€œYeah? Is that why youโ€™re touching yourself right now?โ€
You go silentโ€”which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, twoโ€”
โ€œโ€™M not.โ€
Now, he could explain how he knows thatโ€™s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesnโ€™t feel like explaining any of that.ย 
โ€œI know thatโ€™s not true,โ€ he murmurs. โ€œYou know what? It wasnโ€™t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I donโ€™t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.โ€
You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers.ย 
โ€œWhere are you touching?โ€
โ€œUmโ€”over my clothes.โ€
Cute.ย 
โ€œGo under them for me. Tell me how it feels when youโ€™re touching yourself like that.โ€
It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until youโ€™re whispering, โ€œfeelsโ€ฆ it feels good. I wish you were here.โ€
He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base.ย 
โ€œI know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. Iโ€™m right here.โ€
Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines whatโ€™s happening inย hisย bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut.ย 
โ€œI need them inside,โ€ you whine, and he knows youโ€™re referring to his fingersโ€”the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock.ย 
โ€œYou can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?โ€
โ€œIย amย readyโ€”โ€ judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, youโ€™ve proven yourself right. What surprisesย Spencerย is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. โ€œSpence, it doesnโ€™t feel the same.โ€
โ€œWeโ€™re different sizes, honey. Your hands arenโ€™t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.โ€ย 
He almost says,ย 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower thirdโ€”in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reachโ€”but he refrains. Heโ€™s not sure if thatโ€™s good dirty talk.ย 
โ€œYou have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. Itโ€™s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?โ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. Thereโ€™s a quiet moment. โ€œI canโ€™tโ€”I donโ€™t think I can rโ€”oh,โ€
The moan is so pretty Spencer canโ€™t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump.ย 
โ€œDid you find it?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. โ€œOh myย god.โ€
โ€œBeย gentle,โ€ he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. โ€œYouโ€™re really sensitive there. If youโ€™re not careful youโ€™ll make yourself sore.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t careโ€”holy shitโ€”โ€ the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. โ€œOh my god, Spencer,โ€ in that same strained, high voice. โ€œโ€™M gonnaโ€”ah!โ€
He gets the general sentiment.ย 
โ€œWhat, baby? Youโ€™re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?โ€
โ€œMhm!โ€
โ€œYeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?โ€
โ€œYes,โ€ you cry.ย 
โ€œSee? You donโ€™t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you canโ€™t stop squirming. I donโ€™t knowย howย you think youโ€™re going to take my cock.โ€
โ€œSpencer!โ€ย 
He knows.ย 
โ€œCome, baby. Let me hear you.โ€
The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his ownโ€”grunting as he comes all over his fist.ย 
โ€œJesus,โ€ he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. Heโ€™s lightheaded and heโ€™s created a mess and it all happened soย quickly. โ€œFuck,โ€ he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel heโ€™d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. โ€œYou conscious over there?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m conscious,โ€ you slur, breathing heavily. โ€œIโ€™ve never had an orgasm by myself before.โ€
โ€œAre you proud of yourself?โ€ Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure heโ€™s otherwise clean. โ€œYou should be. I am.โ€
Heโ€™s barely kidding.ย 
โ€œIโ€™ll be proud when I can do it without your help,โ€ you tease.ย 
โ€œBut Iโ€™ll always want to help you with that.โ€ His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what heโ€™d said. โ€œSorry I was so vulgar.โ€
You laugh. He blushes even more.ย 
โ€œAre you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I wouldย neverย speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and Iโ€™m genuinely appalled.โ€
โ€œWell, donโ€™t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.โ€
โ€œYeah, I think Iโ€™m corrupting you. You probably shouldnโ€™t enjoy it.โ€
The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but heโ€™s pretty sure his voice alone doesnโ€™t betray that and you canโ€™t sense it through the phone.ย 
โ€œOh, my god. Doย notย do that falling on your sword shit. Iย likeย being corrupted by you. If you stop Iโ€™ll be very upset.โ€
โ€œWell god forbid you getย upset,โ€ he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason heโ€™s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide.ย 
Or if it was something else. It could also be something else.ย 
For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you.ย 
โ€”
A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, youโ€™re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencerโ€™s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine heโ€™s really here.ย 
You think about what he saidโ€”his apparently mindless vulgarity.ย Did it mean anything?ย Or was he just rambling to get you off?
โ€œSpencer?โ€ you murmur.ย 
โ€œYeah?โ€
โ€œCan I ask you a question?โ€
He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, โ€œalways,โ€ through the little metal rectangle on your chest.ย He likes me and my questions are important to him,ย you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength.ย 
โ€œIf Penelope hadnโ€™t called, last nightโ€ฆ were you going to have sex with me?โ€ย 
Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like heโ€™s about to speakโ€”and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ he finally admits, lamely. โ€œThat wasnโ€™t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.โ€
โ€œBut why canโ€™t it be your plan?โ€ Itโ€™s an almost whine, pouty and childishโ€”but the next words are quiet and pained. โ€œIs it something Iโ€™m doing wrong?โ€
โ€œNo, no! Itโ€™s not you. Youโ€™re perfect. Itโ€™sโ€”itโ€™s complicated. Itโ€™s a me thing.โ€
Such trite wordsโ€”such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know heโ€™s capable of all the eloquence in the world.ย Itโ€™s not you, itโ€™s me.ย Itโ€™s ridiculous.ย 
โ€œOkay. Let me simplify this for you,โ€ you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. โ€œI want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or weโ€™re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sexย ever. If you want toย ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have toย doย it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And Iโ€™m not eternally patient,ย Reid.โ€
Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue.ย 
โ€œWatch your mouth,โ€ he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. โ€œWhen you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also acceptย Doctorย Reid.โ€ You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. โ€œYou know what I want. Iโ€™ve been very clear with you about that. Butโ€ฆโ€
โ€œButโ€ฆ?โ€
Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared.ย 
โ€œButโ€”but to be completely honestโ€ฆ I worry that youโ€™ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and Iโ€™m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and itโ€™s incredibly intimate and I donโ€™t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.โ€
The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing himโ€”that you couldย never, everย regret anything about himโ€”one thing stands out.ย 
โ€œYou regret your first time?โ€ย 
Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell heโ€™s not annoyed at you for asking so much as heโ€™s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does.ย 
โ€œYeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The personโ€”she didnโ€™tโ€ฆย likeย me as much as I liked her. And I was really,ย reallyย in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasnโ€™t in love with meโ€”or maybe she was, I donโ€™t knowโ€”but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about meโ€”thatโ€™s fine. Itโ€™sย fine. I donโ€™t want you to feel bad if we donโ€™t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, itโ€™s different, Iโ€”I just donโ€™t want us to do something we canโ€™t undo because I donโ€™t want to relive that. And Iโ€™m not saying it will never happen but I just donโ€™t want you to make this choice whenโ€ฆ when right now, I think weโ€™re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I donโ€™t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differentlyย after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didnโ€™t understand. Iโ€™m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But Iโ€™ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.โ€
Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the worldโ€™sย worstย case of whiplash.ย 
Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins.ย 
What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling himย I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesnโ€™t feel the same.ย 
Youย wantย to scream bloody murder.ย 
But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, โ€œoh.โ€
Maybe thatโ€™s worse.ย 
Spencer doesnโ€™t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence.ย 
โ€œI didnโ€™t realize youโ€ฆโ€
I didnโ€™t realize that you donโ€™t love me back.ย 
I didnโ€™t realize I like you more than you like me.ย 
I didnโ€™t realize youโ€™d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later.ย 
If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesnโ€™t love you theย whole time, he isย not who you thought he was.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ he lamely says again, like it could ever help.ย 
More silence. Now you canโ€™t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does.ย 
โ€œI realize how awkward this is. I really didnโ€™t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when Iโ€”god, Iโ€™m stupid. Iโ€™m sorry. But can weโ€”can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?โ€
Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why heโ€™sย not in love with you?ย Is he going to break up with you?
What does one even wear to a breakup date?
โ€œOkay,โ€ you whisper. Your eyes sting, yourย everythingย stings, like youโ€™ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds.ย Youย feel like an open wound.ย 
Spencer sighs. Itโ€™s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more.ย 
โ€œOkay. Iโ€”okay. Thank you. Umโ€”Iโ€™ll let you go back to sleep, now.โ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ you repeatโ€”as if any of this were okay. But you canโ€™t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if itโ€™s not, youโ€™re silly and dramatic and youโ€™re just proving him right.ย 
โ€œGoodnight,โ€ Spencer whispers, and you canโ€™t help but feeling that itโ€™s the last time youโ€™ll ever hear those words from his mouth while youโ€™re in his bed. And heโ€™s not even fucking here.
So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because theyโ€™ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Likeย youย were never here.ย 
โ€œGoodnight.โ€
-
part five
2K notes ยท View notes
crescentmp3 ยท 2 years
Text
hiii im home! ^-^
#school went surprisingly well for the agonies (joints burn if moved)!#i got to rest my eyes enough to get rested (in a way) and got to talk with my friends!#also some fun lessons today if we dont count arabic (<-he understands but does not enjoy)#i do love my arabic teacher! she is very sweet. i would love the lesson too if she gave more praise but she does not so i do not#that sounds selfish typing it out. im sorry i run on praise from authoritive figures. or others in general but less so#we had math after that! we're doing roots again. this time its funkier#i quite surprisingly understood VERY well and made no mistakes in the example questions the teacher gave! which im proud of#i used to hate roots actually. i guess my teacher then didnt explain it well enough for me to understand#now that i understand them theyre really fun!#and astonishingly simple for what i thought of it beforehand. actually#oh then we had english! english my love#im sorry i love the teacher so much. one of my favorites i cannot lie#shes so sweet and gives great advice and GOD she dresses so pleasantly (usually closer to gothic blacks but sometimes more colorful)#hehe while we were writing vocabulary and i was already done writing them down and everyone else was writing she/#/sat down next to me and did a fun little quiz on me asking me to translate them all! and i did for most ^-^#some were harder to translate for their vague or multiple meaningsโ€š or just not crossing over wellโ€š but i did it!#it wasnt as much a quiz as it was a way for us both to not get bored! she is very much friendly for a teacher which i really appreciate#oh then we had health education. with can (pronounced jan btw) hoca ^-^ love him#he was very VERY rude to me yesterday and broke my poor little heart (made the entire class do as many push-ups and sits ups/#/as they can and i failed miserably (zero on both) and my muscles hurt so bad now (god help me))#but! he is very funny#most of the lesson was moreso the class having conversations with him than actually learning anything but thats for the best.#makes it more fun and easy to consumeโ€š really! for some reason the actual lesson stays in mind better. dont know why?#anyway! then we had geography#HATE the lesson even though i understand it cause the teacher is TERRIBLE at explaining anything. but im her favorite/#/so i cannot complain whatsoever. i know i know i shouldnt enjoy her having a bias for me. but i quite am to be straightforward#but anyway thats how it went today!#eating a hamburger right now (mom made it!) which is great.#my aches have gotten better so thats nice! my back is still on fire and i still cant flex any muscles near my stomach without pain though#โ™š โ€” rambling !
1 note ยท View note
beomboomboom ยท 5 months
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Morning run
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genre: fluff, established relationship
pairing: Mingyu x reader
summary: You wanted to join Mingyu on his daily morning runs so you could watch him workout, not to be carried on his back, though you're not complaining about that either.
warnings: none!
note: I suddenly felt the idea for this fic come to mind when I was studying for my final exams (๐Ÿ˜ญ im dying) and I kinda wrote this in a rush, so I apologize if there's any mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading the fic <33
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"C'mon let's go," Mingyu says with a smile while holding the front door open, patiently waiting for you to finish tying your shoes.
This was a mistake.
You had agreed to join Mingyu on his daily morning runs because you thought it would be an great opportunity to inconspicuously watch your hot boyfriend work out.
If only you had realized sooner that agreeing to run with Mingyu entailed the requirement that you run too.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," you reply while fumbling with your laces, trying to make it look as if you're struggling to tie your shoes. Stalling for a few extra seconds as if it'll help you avoid going with Mingyu on his morning run altogether.
"I know you're stalling," you hear Mingyu interrupt, his voice unimpressed. Huffing out a breath and shaking his head, he leaves his position near the doorway to walk over to you. "You have no excuse now," he teases with a laugh while crouching down and gently tying your shoelaces for you.
"The run isn't even that bad," Mingyu begins to explain while leading you out of the house. "We'll just run for about 30 minutes, I'll go slow."
Letting out a breath of defeat, you succumb to your fate.
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Truthfully, it wasn't all that bad at first. It was rather relaxing to be honest. It felt nice to feel the wind against your face with each step you took. And, of course, watching Mingyu's muscular back and shoulders move as he ran was an added plus.
It wasn't until you felt a pain shoot up your ankle when the morning run went from relaxing to downright unbearable. "Baby, I-I-can't anymore," you mutter in between gasps for air.
Slowing down, Mingyu turns around, concern etched all over his face when he sees you clutch your ankle in pain. "What happened? How bad does it hurt?"
"I think I sprained my ankle," you reply while wincing in pain as you try to stand on both feet, only to let out a hiss as you feel the pain in your ankle increase tenfold.
"C'mon," Mingyu says, crouching down with his back facing you and his arms out.
"What?"
"Get on my back, let's go home," Mingyu explains.
"But, your morning run-," you begin to say, only to be interrupted by Mingyu's soft but stern voice.
"Your wellbeing is more important than my morning run. Now, get on my back."
Reluctantly, you climb onto Mingyu's back and wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "Sorry I had to ruin your morning run like this, I just wanted to be with you and watch you workout," you mutter glumly as Mingyu begins to carry you back home.
"If you wanted to watch me workout you could've just asked, I would've let you in a heartbeat," Mingyu says with a teasing laugh as you can only hide your face in Mingyu's neck in embarrassment. "Now let's get home and get you all fixed up."
847 notes ยท View notes
star-sim ยท 9 months
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"nooo! she's taken!" โ˜† enha maknaes
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โ˜† non-idol! bf! enhypen maknaes x celebrity! fem! reader โ˜† summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. โ˜† genre: fluff, another poor attempt at humor, it's very silly โ˜† warning(s)? none! lmk if you'd like to see this w the hyungs! hyung ver.
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sunoo โ˜†
so youre a famous actress
you have your official instagram account
and then your personal one, that you only allow family and personal friends to follow
sunoo, your bf, also has an account on instagram
since most of you friends and family know him, it's not uncommon for him to take your phone and post on your personal account
one of those "hai guys i stole her phone ๐Ÿคญ"
all in good fun
so one night, you and sunoo and cuddling
it was one of those vibey nights
the lights were dim, candles lighting up the room with their orangey hue, light music playing in the background
laying on you and sunoo's shared bed, his face buried into the crook of his neck while you run your fingers through his hair
its honestly so soft and warm and comfy :]
the two of you aren't really talking to each other, just basking in each other's presence
and eventually you begin to doze off
at first sunoo was like "baaaaabee!! why did you stop touching my hair"
but then he realized you were asleep
so after givng your cheek a soft peck, and tucking you into the soft blankets
sunoo physically goes >:]
he takes your phone and decides that he's going to spam your personal account
because tbh he does this a lot and it's funny for everyone involved
sunoo takes very silly pictures of you and him
pictures of you sleeping, ones at very silly angles (ik he takes the most FOUL 0.5s)
on your story he posts them with also very ridiculous captions
theres one of you sleeping with the caption "mimimumuimuiu"
another fisheye lens one of sunoo with the caption "hai i stole [name]'s phone ๐Ÿ˜ˆ"
but he also posts some sweet ones
like one where you're dozing off in his arms w the caption "she's so cute"
sunoo gets mushy at some point
like his captions go from funny to "im so happy that i get to call myself [name]'s boyfriend, i feel so lucky to be with such a beautiful and talented woman"
that's great!
really!
that's wonderful!
but.
there's just one problem
one
teeeeeeensy
weeeeeeeeeensy
problem
he was using the wrong account.
he was posting all this on your official, business, 7.8 million follower, instagram account.
and not your personal account.
!!!!!
๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
he doesn't notice until 20 minutes later his phone blows up with articles and text messages
and when he notices
sunoos like OH SHIT
he shakes you awake
and poor boy is so apologetic :(
"baby i'm so sorry i didn't mean to out our relationship like that i should have been more careful-"
but when he explains it to you
you kinda just laugh
and go back to sleep
HELP
sunoo deletes the stories but people already screenshotted them
yeah... so this blows up
i feel like they would become memes
like the ones of you sleeping become reaction memes or even worse part of those tiktok meme slides LMAOAOAO
a lot of people think it's adorable
and you do too
but sunoo is so embarrassed
poor boy
he was writing out entire think pieces on your instagram story oml
OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TERRIBLE
there's definitely articles that come out about this
and yk how on articles theres a title page with images
one of the images is of you ofc
all these news outlets use your super professional HD MODEL pictures of you
like ones where youre a goddamn SMOKE SHOW, the "who is she?" ones, the ZOOWEE MAMA ones...
and then they use one of the foul images that sunoo takes of himself that are like 3 pixels
like the 0.5 lens ones ๐Ÿ˜ญ
nevertheless, there is a happy ending
everyone thinks its so sweet
including you
and when people bring it up on interviews you're able to just laugh about it
<3
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jungwon โ˜†
we joke abt jay and sunghoon and sunoo having mad side eyes
but i think we forget the FATHER of INSANE SIDE EYES
YANG JUNGWON HIMSELF
you're a singer/artist
and you just released a new EP!
on tiktok, you're making promotional videos to promote your new songs
looking like a cutie, popping off, as you always do!
anyways in many of them
you're in front of a glass door
or a mirror
so as youre being an absolute cutie promoting your song, in the background in the reflection you can see jungwon making faces
NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAKING FACES AT YOU
but bc sometimes there's ppl walking by and being judgy
jungwon is giving them mad stink eyes and it's caught in the reflection of your videos
i don't think a lot of ppl notice it until someone points it out
and when they do
theyre like
WHO TF IS THAT ๐Ÿ˜ญ
ppl are making tiktoks simply zooming into his face LMAOAOAO
and then a few days later
the paparazzi released pictures of you walking with jungwon, holding hands and on a date
and when ppl see it
theyre like
hmm...
that guy looks a lot like the guy in the reflection...
and then the dots connect
like sunoo, i think jungwon is embarrassed
everytime someone brings it up jungwon hides his face in your neck
and he wears that cute little bashful grin
but honestly it's cute
so just hug him and kiss his lil cheeks and he'll be okay
it kinda becomes viral on tiktok
so you make a few video stitches about it
you stitched the og video that pointed out jungwon's face in the background
your stitch was just a video of jungwon being embarrassed and freaking out
like bro was on the floor, hands in his hair
jungwon was in the trenches sorry ๐Ÿ˜ญ
there's another stitch where jungwon explains himself
he's dressed in a suit and tie and speaking so formally like he was making an apology video or something
"i would like to address a recent clip of me making inappropriate facial expressions-"
"babe you don't need to be so formal, it's a tiktok"
"you shant say that, i must do this for this is my will"
BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE โ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธ
#freejungwon
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riki โ˜†
youre an actress that's very popular
except some ppl hate you bc they think hating popular people makes them interesting *eye roll*
safe to say.... riki is your NUMBER ONE DEFENDER
like he is the ring leader to all of those [name] stan twt group chats
he's the one leading those discord raids on your hate groups OH MY GOD ๐Ÿ˜ญ
he has multiple accounts and he fights every person that dares tarnish your name
twitter is his battlefield and the keyboard is his sword
anyways one day riki is so deep into an internet fight that he GETS DOXXED ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
like it wasn't even graceful
i think he'd make fun of one of your haters
and the hater goes "wanna see something funny? :)"
and BOOM
ADDRESS
IP ADDRESS
FULL NAME
PERSONAL EMAIL
PHONE NUMBER
dont actually dox people guys its not funny
when riki gets doxxed they get his full name right
and the hater, his assailent, and their little posse start searching his name on social media to further dox him
and BOOM #2
THEY FIND HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT
now riki isn't stupid
so his ig acc is private
however.....
the profile picture of his acc is a selfie of you and him kissing
they also did research on him and found out that you and him went to the same high school...
in fact they found miscellaneous pictures posted online of you and him a few years back... holding hands n shit....
OH
SHIT
this goes viral over night
like
its so bad that even news headlines are covering it
"TWITTER USER @[NAME]LUVER1209, HOT ACTRESS [NAME]'S MOST NOTORIOUS INTERNET DEFENDER, IS REVEALED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ"
i feel like the public's reaction to this would be really light-hearted
like i think mst ppl would be cheering riki on
"he's so real"
"oh my god i think i was mutuals with @[name]luver1209"
"this is what true love looks like"
you have super loyal fans and riki's mutuals so they support you too
except i do think theyd be in shambles, but in good fun
"i just found out [name] has a bf im going to flush myself down a toilet"
"i can't believe she chose @[name]luver1209 when his fancams are so shit... THAT SHOULD BE ME!!!'
"i've been here waiting in line for three years and this random @[name]luver1209 swoops in and takes my woman..."
riki's stan account gains a lot of followers
and so with your permission
he posts a selfie of you and him
probably with a cheeky caption like "KISS MY ASS!!!!"
i feel like people go back and watch old talk show interviews and stuff
and if you zoom in
you'll see riki in the front rows cheering the loudest ๐Ÿ˜ญ
bro is everywhere
in the future there's def a moment where like
you're at a live talk show
and the host asks you about the fiasco
and you can literally just point to him in the audience like
"yeah my boyfriend's right there-- hi baby!"
and riki from the audience, behind his phone that he's using to record you like its a fancam, is like "hi baby!" back
i dont think the media even calls him riki, he's stuck as @[name]luver1209 forever
not that he minds
๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
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hyung ver.
2K notes ยท View notes
happilykrispypirate ยท 2 years
Text
Don't touch her
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Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x hufflepuff!reader
Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood, tw! abuse, bullying, and my shitty writing
Summary: Y/n has two older brothers in Ravenclaw. Both are little entitled shits that love treating their sister like shit. When Mattheo finds out when they take it too far... Well, we all know what he'll do.
A/n: @victoriapedroza thank you for requesting! Im sorry if u didn't want me to make the reader a hufflepuff, I just thought it was a good idea. It's not my best, but do let me know what you think of it.
-
Y/n smiled happily as she saw Mattheo waiting for her after class.
"Hi love," Mattheo smiled as Y/n came to a stop in front of him, he pecked her lips before taking her hand in his as they walked down the corridors to the Great Hall for lunch, "How was class?"
"Great! I helped Hagrid with the nifflers and one of the babies gave me a gold coin. Have you ever heard of anything like it? A niffler giving instead of taking something shiny. I feel honoured," Y/n smiled brightly.
Mattheo felt a warm feeling bubbling in his chest as he watched her smile brightly.
"That's amazing, baby," He said kissing the side of her head.
"What's also amazing is that I heard a certain someone won the potions competition again," She smirked as she eyed her boyfriend, "Another vial of liquid luck that is going to collect dust?"
"Why would I need liquid luck if I have my lucky charm right here?" Mattheo smiled as he brought their hands up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.
"You're cute, you know that?" She smiled kissing his cheek, "Oh! I completely forgot I have herbology next. I have to go get my books. I'll see you at lunch. Tell Pansy that she has to finish that story that she told me earlier."
"I will," Mattheo smiled before kissing her, "Now hurry back."
Y/n smiled at him before she hurried towards the hufflepuff common room. When she rounded the corner she bumped straight into someone.
"Watch where you're going!" She looked up and saw Gavin and Phillip, her two older brothers. Phillip was the oldest and Gavin was only a year under him. (Btw, the years might not make sense. However we're here for the story, not math)
"Oh, it's you," Phillip said.
"Sorry, I was in a hurry. I have to get my her-"
"Yeah, we don't care," Gavin said interrupting her.
Y/n stood up and brushed her robes off, "No need to be rude," She mumbled.
"What was that?" Phillip asked harshly.
"Nothing, forget it. I'm going," She said and started to walk off before she was pulled back and pushed up against the wall.
"You've been lucky until now, you little bitch," Phillip spat, "That little boyfriend of yours has always been around. Where's he now, huh?"
"Let me go," Y/n begged, tears threatening to fall.
"Aww is little Y/n going to cry?" Gavin said mockingly.
Phillip then laughed, "I'll give you something to cry about," He said before he threw her on the ground and she landed against one of the pillars. He then proceeded to kick her in the stomach.
She went to grab her wand but Gavin stepped on her wrist. She cried out in pain.
"Don't even think about telling anyone, or you're dead," He spat before the two of them walked away.
Y/n had to move quickly to get to the common room and back to the Great Hall, all the while making sure there was no evidence, just so that Mattheo and the rest don't get suspicious.
"You took a little longer than expected, love," Mattheo said as she plopped down next to him, "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, just had to look for it," Y/n said, "Room's a bit of a mess."
"As always," Mattheo said chuckling.
Y/n smiled at her boyfriend and kissed him before pulling away and looking at Pansy who was in front in of her explaining the story she had told earlier. Just behind her, on the other side of the hall sat Gavin and Phillip who were both glaring at her.
She immediately turned away.
-
It was a few days later the bruises on Y/n's hip and wrist got worse and were sore. So, sore that she couldn't move without cringing in pain. Something she had to do internally because she couldn't show it, she didn't want Mattheo or anyone else to find out.
Thank Merlin, it was winter, or they would've gotten suspicious if she wore a long sleeved shirt.
She sat with the rest of the Slytherin gang in the Slytherin common room. She was allowed to be there. She insisted on getting permission instead of sneaking in all the time and risk getting caught and getting detention.
"I'm so ready for the weekend," Enzo said, "I can't wait to get fucked."
"Fucked as in fucked or drunk and high?" Theo asked.
"Both," Enzo said.
"I could do with a drink right now," Pansy said.
"I can help with that," Y/n smirked as she stood up. Mattheo glanced at her confused, and as she stood up her shirt lifted slightly and he could see the big purple bruise.
Y/n then pulled two bottles firewhiskey from her bag.
"Holy fuck," Enzo laughed as he took one of the bottles from her, "Hufflepuff's becoming one of us."
"Shut up, I just thought we needed something to make us feel better," She smiled as she sat back down.
She went to open the bottle but her wrist pained. Mattheo watched as she struggled and saw the bruise.
"Looks like I'm not strong enough, you want to help me babe?" She asked smiling as she held out the bottle to him.
Mattheo took the bottle from her and opened it. Deciding to ask her later and not in front of everyone.
Later then came as Mattheo was walking Y/n back to the hufflepuff common room.
"Love," Mattheo said.
"Yeah?" She replied looking over at him.
"Why are their bruises on your wrist and hip?" He asked.
Y/n's heart began to quicken.
"Uh," She said before laughing nervously, "I was holding a bag that was stacked full of books. I was cleaning my dorm of course and then I bumped into the table. Guess I'm a little fragile."
Mattheo nodded, not believing her. She knew Mattheo didn't believe her, and she was glad he didn't asked anymore questions.
-
Y/n once again forgot her book in her room, and the same thing happened last time. She bumped into her brothers.
This time, she didn't submit to defeat like she has always done. This time, she pulled her wand out.
"Ohh, someone's brave," Gavin said as he pulled his wand out.
Y/n looked around to see if anyone was coming. Why was the hall always empty when she runs into them?
"Just leave me alone," She said as she started to back away.
"How could we? You keep bumping into us. You need to stop running down the halls, forgetting your books," Phillip said.
"We should teach you something about that," Gavin said.
"Like... this!" Phillip then shot a spell at her but she deflected it.
Then Gavin shot a spell and she deflected it.
Soon both started shooting spells trying to disarm her. She couldn't take much because it wasn't long before her wand was thrown to the other side of the corridor.
"Now, you should know not to pull your wand on your older brothers," Phillip said, "Crucio."
Y/n fell to the ground and screamed in pain. Gavin walked up to her and started kicking her. He even threw in a punch. In her face.
"Alright that's enough," Phillip said and all the pain stopped.
Y/n felt like she could breathe again and coughed for air, and there was blood when she coughed.
"Oh that's fucking disgusting," Gavin cringed.
"Come on, let's go before someone comes along," Phillip said before they vanished down the corridor.
That's the last thing she saw before she passed out.
"I wonder what's taking Y/n so long?" Pansy said. Lunch was almost over and Y/n stilled hadn't returned.
"I'm going to go find her," Mattheo said as he stood up.
"See you guys later then," Theo said before Mattheo walked out of the Great Hall.
He rounded the corner and at the end he saw someone lying on the ground.
"Y/n," He realised as he ran over to her. She was beaten up badly. He gently picked her up before running to the Hospital Wing.
-
"Who would do such a thing?" McGonagall asked Dumbledore as they stood in front of the hospital bed that Y/n was laying in. Mattheo sat next to her, he refused to move until she woke up.
"There are many that envy her," Dumbledore said, "But none that would hurt her like this."
"Well obviously someone did, we have to find out who. There is no place for bullying in this school," McGonagall said before they left.
It wasn't long after that, that Y/n opened her eyes.
"Shit," She said as she realised where she was.
Mattheo's eyes shot up, "Hey," He said once he saw she was awake, "I'm here."
Y/n turned her head to him, "Hey," She said.
"Love, who did this to you?" He asked, "Don't lie to me this time. I know when you lie."
Y/n sighed, "Gavin and Phillip," She said, "They've been doing this for years. Gotten worse and worse."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Mattheo asked.
"They're my brothers. I'll never escape them," She said.
Mattheo remained silent. He only remained calm for her, but he wasn't going to hold back the next time he sees them.
-
A week later Y/n was healed. Mattheo never left her side.
They were all sitting outside under the big tree in the courtyard. It was a peaceful day.
However that peacefulness didn't last long because Gavin and Phillip arrived.
Mattheo glared at them before he stood up from his where he sat and walked over to them.
"Oh dear," Y/n sighed as she watched Mattheo punch Phillip.
"What the fuck dude?" Gavin said before he himself got punched.
"Don't you ever fucking touch her again," Mattheo said as he kept throwing punches at Gavin. Phillip tried to pull him off but instead got himself landed under Mattheo receiving multiple punches.
"We should probably stop him," Pansy said.
"Nah, this is fun," Y/n said.
"What in Godric's name is going on out here?" McGonagall asked as she rushed outside. Mattheo got up and glared at the two boys whose faces were covered in blood.
"Just making sure these two never hurt touch their sister again," He said.
"They're the ones that hurt her?" McGonagall asked and Mattheo nodded, "I'd like to see you two in my office the second you're out of the hospital wing. You'll also get 3 months of detention. Every day."
McGonagall then turned to Mattheo, "As for you Mr Riddle. Five points will be taken from Slytherin for your act, but 25 points will be rewarded for standing up for your peers," McGonagall gave Y/n a wink before she disappeared with the two bloodied up boys behind her.
Mattheo walked back over and sat down again before pulling Y/n into her arms and kissing the side of her head, "That'll teach them never to touch my girl ever again."
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