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#im trying to heal with meds and therapy so i can work again
wodnes--coyotl · 6 months
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I can't even talk about this abuse bc i feel like people irl who talk to me on social media some of them have used this stuff against me either immediately or later down the road. I can't trust anyone. I hate holding shit in but I guess I "have to" because people always take advantage and say nasty shit. I'm so tired. I hate that my dad is always baiting suicide my entire life and treating me like a huge inconvenience and burden and problem while also begging me to take care of him and fix his life as if I "have" to even though I damn sure fuckin'g DONT. he couldve ended his life with any amt of dignity or tried to repair this relationship like ive tried to but instead just makes it worse and eventually he's going to die either way with a legacy of being a fucking asshole who no one loved and NO ONE wants that for him. NO ONE. but i cannot fix ANY of this and i am SO upset.
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moonlit-positivity · 2 years
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Ways To Cope: How to Handle Overwhelming Memories & Extreme Feelings
I. Controlling your environment
When you start to feel panicked & overwhelmed, try some of these things to make your environment feel safer:
White noise/comforting soundscapes like rainforest or ocean waves
Soft lighting/reduce the light source
Heating pad/warm wash cloth to face
Ask yourself, "how can I help ease the discomfort?"
Talk/ vent in safe spaces or to a pet or even just say it out loud to yourself
Allow yourself the physical body expression (ie face scrunching, crying, shake your arms, stuff that allows your body to cry too)
How do you define comfort? What sorts of things comfort you? Comfort foods, movies, TV shows, stuffed animals, blankets, soft hobbies? Or maybe you wanna be more destructive?
Stimulate your senses- perfumes, incense, candles, aromatics, lemon drops, sweet & sour candy, slime, play-doh, squeeze stress balls, rubix cube, fidgets, soft fabric, music, soundscapes, visual lights (if safe), darkness, fishtank screensavers on YouTube, just to name a few. Any ideas you'd like to try out?
Doomscroll to avoid ur feelings
Go for a walk
Stand up & stretch
Wiggle & dance
Take a nap
Change ur surroundings (walk to a different room)
If u struggle w suicidal thoughts & urges to self harm, re-evaluate ur home space to feel more safer. Remove all ur razors, ur weapons, knives, extension cords, glass, anything that makes u feel unsafe. Ask someone safe to hold your meds. Re-adjust your space accordingly (ie plastic silverware, surge protectors, disposable razors, etc)
Call ur therapist or call a local WARM line.
II. Controlling your inner voice
How you talk to yourself when you're stressed out & in a panic highly affects the way you feel. Thoughts like, "this is stupid. I shouldn't feel this way. I feel so useless. Nobody loves me." This is your inner child speaking from all the pain and misery that you endured. And you gotta learn how to be nice to your baby, because you were just a baby. When we are experiencing flashbacks & memories, that part of you that went through that-- that part is asking to be loved and held through that pain so you can finally feel it out.
So how do we comfort our inner child during this time? You might need to hear and say some of these things out loud to yourself:
Im so sorry you had to see that
It should have never happened
I know it hurts
This is so painful to go through
I love you
They betrayed us
We didn't deserve that
That was scary
I feel scared
I feel unsafe
I needed more from them
I needed you, too
That was horrible
That was horrific
I wish I could leave
I wish I could run away
No! Don't touch me!
I am not alone anymore
I will hold you safe
I will cherish every moment with you from now until forever
I will find ways to protect you
I will always listen to what you have to say
I will never betray you again
We can get through this together
We are safe now
That was exhausting
It may help to look into trauma therapy and other sources to help you talk about and understand what you went through on a deeper level. But at the core, these are the kinds of validation you need to hear to get through what you're going through. It hurts like hell that no one can really give you that or even understand what you're going through, so please try to be a little kinder and understanding of yourself through this process. You are worth the effort of healing. You can get through this. We can survive this together.
|||. Reducing the panic
The work is not done yet. Now let's take a moment to do some self care.
Take a deep breath
Notice the tension in your body- is your chest tight? Are your hands shaking? Is your body paralyzed out of fear?
Take another deep breath
Ask yourself permission to touch your body in this moment and honor your response.
If you're not safe with touch, proceed to the next step. If you are okay with touch, try these coping skills:
butterfly hugs- put a hand over ur heart and gently pat
Cross ur arms over your chest and hold ur shoulders
Rub ur shoulders in a soothing motion
Rub your legs in a soothing motion
What other ways would you like to be touched? Re-introduce yourself to safe touch in these moments. You are absolutely allowed to touch & comfort your own body-- but only if you'd like to do so.
If touch is a no-go, then there are still other coping skills we can do to help our bodies release these pent up emotions:
Sway gently from side to side
Stand up and stomp your legs
Allow your body to shake
Allow your face to scrunch up & express your pain/disgust/etc
Do a set of 5-10 jumping jacks if needed
Punch the air
Cry, scream, and shout
Allow yourself to make noise, exasperated sighs and moans of pain
Roll your neck
Wiggle your arms
Roll your shoulders
Clench & unclench ur fists
Remember to take slow deep breaths while moving
In the moments after a panic, you might feel exhausted beyond belief. It might help to take a break and do something fun. Video games, puzzles, snuggle w a blanket, something soothing from your list above
Keeping a journal can help you vent and keep track of your memories & progress
Talk with a trauma informed therapist about EMDR
Follow your favorite self help blogs that promote awareness for trauma recovery and somatic healing
Write down your favorite affirmations & stick em on ur fridge
IV. Random distraction techniques & coping skills
Hold a piece of ice in your hand; throw it down your back
Jump down a YouTube rabbit hole. My favorites are carpet cleaning videos, power washing videos, seafloor exploration, jungle living, stan twitter, etc.
Jigsaw puzzles
Reading a good book
Tv/movies
Video games
Baking
Gardening
Making jewelry/arts & crafts
Teach yourself something new
Word search puzzles, sudoku, wordle, etc
Card games like solitaire & free cell
Fantasy card games like Yu-Gi-Oh!, MTG, & Pokemon
Start a collection
Cry
Daydream
Learn how to cook
Be nice to a stranger
List your positive qualities
Draw/Color/Paint
Write a story or poetry
Join a fandom
Go for a walk
Find your local recreational center
Go to the park
Play Pokemon Go
Talk to someone you trust
Organize your space
Look for free classes at your local community college
Visit the library, they always have social events
Volunteer at an animal shelter
Volunteer at a retirement home
Stuffed animals
Get a pet
Volunteer at the local food bank
Be gentle with yourself
Tell yourself "I can make it through this"
Please remember that you are loved, you are safe, & you are worth the effort.
🌺
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curious-menace · 3 years
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Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.
SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .
i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah
post asswoop riddlers getting loves
Arkham riddler
He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.
I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.
when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.
He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.
he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.
he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 
Blacklight Riddler
He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 
even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.
he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 
He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.
He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.
 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.
BTAS Riddler
he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.
i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 
He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.
he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 
if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.
He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.
Original Riddler
this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.
actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”
good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.
he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 
he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.
i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 
Telltale riddler
this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs
he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.
after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.
i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.
the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.
its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  
Zero year riddler
INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.
he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.
he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.
he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?
one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 
he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 
nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.
theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”
someone needs to stage an intervention
got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜
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hedgiwithapen · 3 years
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could I ask for more metakitties in Young Justice? Please and thanks!
It had originally been, like most strange ideas that somehow worked out, Gar’s suggestion to bring animals to the Taos Metahuman Youth Center. Gar had spent a tense afternoon calming a scared boy down in the form of a Forest-green Retriever and a handful of support animals had swiftly followed. Dogs trained to do different support or calming tasks, a chinchilla for those with allergies who still needed something soft and warm to cuddle, an enormous tank of brightly colored fish to watch… and of course, the cats. Ed had been glad for them all. His job was certainly easier, if not easy, with the extra help, and the response from the other staff and the teenagers had been very positive. The Flash--who was a scientist, apparently-- was even talking about working on better allergy meds that wouldn’t interfere with the metagene, and there was talk of Bruce Wayne funding a new outbuilding for a stable. Of all the critters that roamed the halls, though, Ed’s favorite was a kitten Virgil had dropped off personally. One of several cats that had popped out of a Zeta Tube with no record or indication of how or why, the gray tabby had become a fixture at the center as easily as her littermates had latched on to the team or the justice league itself. He’d named her Shark for her sleek fur, the way her triangular tail was nearly always raised, and her habit of gnawing on everything she could get her little mouth on. She was speckled and soft and loved to lurk in the halls, following the unsuspecting to ambush them and demand pets, snuggles, or shoes to chew on. While most of the animals stayed in the wing of the center they were supposed too, the cats wandered as freely as the Metahumans, and Shark most of all.
Ed enjoyed the days when his friends stopped by. It wasn’t often. Asami and Tye managed it a bit more often than Virgil or Jaime, who had a lot going on with the whole side-gig-as-superheroes thing. They still tried; the zeta tubes made it easier to stay connected than Ed had thought, when they’d first all gone separate ways. It was nice to share company and stories, and sometimes a few of the recovering teens joined them. At first, they’d mostly stared, a little in awe, but over time, things had become more comfortable. Ed liked watching his charges realize that this could be their future-- healing, peace, friendship. The temperature dipped at night, though not much. Ed couldn’t sleep, as he often couldn’t. So he stretched and went to walk the halls. He didn’t have to walk anywhere, but he liked it. It was nice to see everything familiar. Turning the corner into the hall near the media room, Ed heard the explosion and kicked into emergency mode. He couldn’t see any sign of major fire, which should have been a good thing, except that it meant that whatever had happened had not just been another incident in the kitchens with an aerosol can of butterspray and the new pyrokinetic. One of the therapy dogs barked, urgent. The “clients”--the children and teenagers living in the dorms at the center-- ran, in pairs and small groups, to designated safe areas. One of the first things Ed’s dad had insisted on were protocols like that, and Ed had needed no convincing. He teleported through the rooms, clearing more frightened teenagers out. Satisfied that his friends and the other staff were on high alert, he headed for the panic room that was his responsibility to check. Every hall in the center had one, and everyone was well aware of them. His was the furthest from the zeta. His heart dropped as he popped in, and saw the door blown off the hinges. Half a dozen of his charges had made it here, some with power suppressing bracelets, some without. But all of them were up against the back wall, either unconscious or collared. Ed tensed and ducked the second he realized, avoiding the blow an attacker aimed at his head. He teleported again to put himself beside the cornered teens. Getting them out of danger, and fast, was top priority. The moment he materialized he had to call the golden glow up again, dodging left. This time when his feet met the floor, he was no sooner solidly there than something cold and heavy pressed against his neck. He called himself ten kinds of stupid, teleporting right into a planned ambush, right into the inhibitor collar. Ed scrambled backwards, eyes wide as he recognized the lone figure. Only one man might have been easy enough to fight, powers or no, but this was… not great. He wore a split color helmet, matte black and copper-orange, and held a sword in one hand that shone in the dim emergency lighting. Deathstroke. Slade. Ed wasn’t a member of the team, but he didn’t have his head in the sand, either. “You can’t have them,” he said, anger turning bravery bolder. He wasn’t about to let anyone cage those kids again--cage him again. “I’m not interested in you,” Slade said. “Move.” That made grim sense, because what meta trafficker wants to try figuring out how to hold on to a teleporter? Ed set his stance, gritting his teeth. He couldn’t win a fight like this, not without his powers, but stalling? He could stall, and buy his friends a few minutes to figure it all out. Jaime would be scanning everything, Tye could tear the place apart if he needed to, and Asami… Asami was scary-good at getting wherever it was she needed to be, no matter the obstacles. Slade moved forwards, raising the sword, and was met by a hiss. Shark’s grey mackerel markings had helped her blend in with the weak shadows. All her fur stood out on end, her ears pinned back, and she hissed again. Slade glanced down and sent her flying with a kick. One of the younger metahumans behind him whimpered. Ed’s gaze went harder than granite. “You’re going to regret that,” he said, his voice low. “I am not a man who
regrets my actions. Now move, or I’ll make you.” “You’ll regret that,” Ed repeated. “Why? Because I kicked a kitten?” Slade mocked. “I’m going to gut you and finish what was started with them weeks ago. You think I care about the morality of--oh holy shit, what the fuck--!” Shark had latched on just above his knee, her small teeth puncturing the material of his suit. She vibrated with something half growl, half purr, and all too large for her body. Blood dripped off the ends of her whiskers, and she let go only to bite again. And again. Slade, overcome by pain, bloodloss, and the shock of having suddenly less leg than he was accustomed to, hit the ground. Shark’s eyes glowed in the low light, and with her fluffy tail held high, she beelined for Ed, twining around his ankles and flopping over to request a belly scritch. He complied with shaking fingers.
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whata-basic-witch · 3 years
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CW: abusive ex, disordered eating, mental health
Typical day as a depressed single mom and business owner with disordered eating:
5:30-6 am: wake up, take meds and skinnyfit snack attack. Weigh in. Track progress. Let dog out to potty. Weigh in again bc maybe it was wrong before?? Lol
6am: coffee and cigarettes
6:30am try not to think about food. More coffee and cigarettes. Find thinspo and fitspo and altspo
7: wake up oldest for school, argue over shower and the need for a coat since it’s cold and he rises his bike to school. Wake up youngest, change diaper, dress her, do her hair really cute, get sippy cup of milk and her morning iPad time. Try not to think about food. More coffee and cigarettes bc now I’m hungry
8am: kiss my oldest before he leaves for school. Pray I can heal before my daughter realizes I have disordered eating. Take out trash. Argue with my autistic daughter over picking up toys, give up and decide to live in absolute toy chaos instead. More coffee and cigarettes and some alone time on the front porch for 3 minutes. Text my best friends good morning wishing them a happy fulfilling day even though I’m struggling.
9am: work time. Melt wax, pour candles. Make soap. Light incense and candles on my altar. Organize my business plan and finances. Order supplies. Check shipping on supplies ordered. Metamucil shot and more snack attack. Coffee and cigarette, business notes/call with associate. Argue with narcissistic abusive ex over visitation with kids, screenshot abusive messages, email lawyer. Therapy with BetterHelp
10am: finally my autistic toddler wants breakfast or meal replacement shake. She doesn’t like food textures. Try and figure out what she needs since she’s nonverbal with speech impediment. Try to calm my anxiety with more cigarettes and coffee.
11-1pm: nap time for my sweet baby girl. Take a minute to breathe. House chores. More work. More coffee. More cigarettes. Eat celery bc im so hungry and snack attack isnt enough anymore.
1-6pm: oldest returns from school. Chores and then vid games. Finish work and clean up. Think about dinner. Ex shows up to visit kids. Listen to him explain how bingeing isn’t disordered eating and I’m just chubby from having kids. Cry inside. Let the hate boil just below the surface. Make dinner. Feed kids and ungrateful ex. Avoid dinner with water coffee and cigarettes. Clean up put away food while fighting temptation knowing that I should eat something. Nibble on green beans, log calories while ex tries to tempt me with cannabis knowing it triggers a huge binge and that I’ll just purge later.
7-8pm: bath time, bed time. Ex finally leaves.
9pm: finally I can relax with my water, cigarettes and bojack Horseman on Netflix. Cuddle with my dog/bestie. Take meds and snack attack and vitamins. Fight the urge to binge/purge.
10pm: try to sleep.
Wake up and it repeats all over again
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supergirl-writingz · 4 years
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Kidnapped Part 2
B!D deals with recovery.
Note: the doctor being named dr grey isnt actually like mer or lexie i literally just watch too much greys and couldnt think of another name haha also THANK U FOR BEING SO PATIENT W ME im really proud of this fic tbh and i hope u guys like it:) remember requests are always open
Warning: trauma, anxiety, therapy
It’s been about one week since you were rescued. You were doing okay. Everyone was trying to convince you to see someone, to talk about what you went through. You didn’t get why. You realized you have been through something tragic, but wouldn’t it be easier to just put it in the past? 
Physically, you still had a long way to go. You were still cooped up at the DEO and you would be for a little bit longer. You had bruises everywhere, 2 broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken bone in your foot. But Lena assured you that you were healing properly. You trusted her.
Your least favorite part about everything, was the way people were treating you. They treated you as if you were glass, and if they spoke to loud or even held your hand, they would break you. You didn’t feel broken and you didn’t get why everyone wanted you to be. Lena was the only one who would tell you things how they were, straightforward with no holding back. You appreciated it. 
Lena walked into the room, “Hey hun can we talk?”
You nodded, “Of course Lena what’s up?”
Lena sat at the edge of your bed, “Darling I think you need to see someone, you-”
“Not you too” you interrupted rolling your eyes, “I’m fine, I don’t need to see anyone”
Lena was patient with you, with a calm voice she said, “Y/N you can’t keep bottling up your emotions, it’s not healthy. If you don’t let this out you’re gonna have a breakdown. You’re not fine and thats okay.”
“I am fine” you snapped at her.
“Y/N, you are scared to sleep without sedatives and you haven’t talked about what happened to you at all. Let me help you, please talk to me, or Kara or Alex or a specialist. Please”
You turned your head away from her. You were embarrassed but it was true, you were scared of going to bed without them.
“Don’t sedate me tonight, I’ll sleep just fine”
Lena sighed, “Okay”
As she walked out she turned around and said, “You know we’re all just trying to do what’s best for you right?”
You didn’t answer. Lena walked out looking sad and defeated. You felt bad, she’s helped you so much. But you were tired of people saying you weren’t okay. You thought about sleeping tonight without the sedatives, truthfully you were nervous but you didn’t tell anyone. Tonight was Kara’s turn to sleep in your room, and she always made you feel safe. 
Later that night, around 11, you finally fell asleep after tossing and turning for a couple hours. 
All of the sudden you woke up with a start not knowing where you were. You were screaming and your heart rate was through the roof. Kara instantly got up and rushed to you.
“Y/N baby it’s just a dream! You’re okay!” she said calmly but loud enough so it would get through to you.
It didn’t help. You were starting to hyperventilate. Kara put her face directly in front of yours.
“Look at my sweetheart, breathe like I do” Kara said, breathing in and out slowly for me to follow.
You looked Kara in the eyes and started following her breathing. 5 minutes later you were breathing normally. Lena and Alex came rushing in, someone must have called them.
“Baby what happened?” Alex asked with a concerned tone. 
Tears were building up in your eyes, “I- I was back there.. in my dream”.
“The room where it all happened?” Lena asked. You nodded, tears starting to come quicker
“It was so real, I could feel every punch, every kick. It was like I was back there.” you said, at this point you were sobbing. 
Alex came close to you and put her hand to your cheek, “You’re safe now Y/N, he can’t hurt you anymore”
You pulled Alex closer and cried into the crook of her neck. While Kara was strong and comforting, there was something about Alex that made you feel powerful and in control. She was such a good directer at the DEO, even if things in her life were bad. Even when everything was going wrong, she had control. You needed that. You needed to be in control of your emotions, but you didn’t know how. You realized now everyone was right, you weren’t okay. But you still didn’t like the idea of seeing a therapist of any kind. You just couldn’t imagine talking to a complete stranger about things you can’t talk about to the people closest to you. 
You started to calm down and stopped crying. You looked up at Lena.
“I’m so sorry Lena”, you said.
“Darling you have nothing to be sorry for” she replied softly.
“I was so rude to you, you were just trying to help” you replied guiltily.
“You’re struggling little one, whether you know it or not, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. After what you’ve been through, we’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling” Kara said.
“We just want you to feel better and we want you to know you have our constant support” Alex said.
You looked down and smiled softly. You didn’t know what you would do without these people. You didn’t think therapy was for you, but it seems like it would make them feel better, and who knows maybe it would make you feel better too. 
“I’ll see someone”, you said quietly, “if you guys really think it will be good”
Alex smiled and said, “We’re only asking that you try”. 
You got in a couple more hours of sleep before day time had come and it was too bright to sleep. You heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Lena and another woman you didn’t recognize. 
“Hey hun, this is Dr. Grey, she works with people who have been through trauma” Lena said, trying not to overwhelm you.
She smiled a bright smile and said, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you”
You took a breath and remembered how you told Lena and your sisters you would give it a try. 
You reached out your hand and said “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you too”
Dr. Grey shook your hand then told you that Lena or your sisters could stay in the room, or it could be just them. You decided to give it a try alone with Dr. Grey. Lena understood and wished you good luck before leaving. You took a deep breath, talking to this stranger was making you feel anxious. You and Dr. Grey started talking, and quickly you felt more comfortable. You guys didn’t talk much about the kidnapping, she mostly just wanted to know your home and social life. You told her pretty much everything, from your sisters, your friends, Lena, and school. Dr. Grey was pretty easy to talk to. The only time the kidnapping did come up was when she suggested that you talk to your sisters or Lena about what happened. She said if it was out in the open, you might feel better. She made it very clear though that you should wait until you were ready. And just like that, your hour session was over before you knew it.
“Thank you Dr. Grey” you said.
She smiled warmly, “So we’ll be meeting again?”
You returned her smile and nodded. 
About 2 weeks later, you were sitting in your bed at the DEO. You have been seeing Dr. Grey daily and it was helping a lot. All of the sudden Kara walked in and you smiled at her asked her to bring Alex and Lena into the room. Kara smiled and nodded, walking out of the room to get them. A few moments later, the three women walked in. 
“So Dr. Grey thought that I should talk to at least someone about what happened, other than her. And I trust you guys more than anyone, so I want to tell you guys” you say, starting to feel a little anxious.
“That’s very sweet darling but we don’t wanna push you into talking about something you’re not ready to talk about” Lena said concerned.
You smiled, “I’m ready”, and they nodded.
You told them everything, from you walking home from school, to the guy grabbing you, to your surroundings, and on and on. You told them how they wanted to know who Supergirl was, and you shot Kara a warm look almost saying, ‘This isn’t your fault’. Kara gave you a small yet guilty smile. You took a deep breath as you started to talk about the torture. Your hands were shaking so Alex grabbed them into hers. You didn’t even realize you were crying until Kara wiped a tear from your cheek. You told them everything... you told them the beatings, about the whips and taser. You told them about the hunger, and how cold it was. You told them how you were so hopped up on drugs, you couldn’t even remember how you got there. 
“The scariest part was when I lost hope, I truly thought I was gonna die there” you said. You finally looked up at them, Kara was crying just as much as you were. Lena and Alex had some tears too, but you could tell they were trying to be strong. You grabbed Kara’s hands and looked her in the eyes.
“But you saved me Kara, you’re the reason I’m still here” you said softly.
Kara pulled you into a hug and you felt her warmth and comfort, which then turned into pain from your ribs.
“Kara.. too tight” you said chuckling.
“Sorry” she laughed immediately letting go. The four of you sat there in silence for a while, enjoying each others company. Dr. Grey was right, you did feel better putting it all out there. 
A few weeks later, you were making great progress. You were still having nightmares, but not every night. The anxiety meds you were taking were starting to help with the panic attacks too. You were still at the DEO, but you were starting to walk around though, with a boot and crutches. Your ribs were almost healed and your concussion was all gone. 
You were doing great with Dr. Grey too. The only thing she was concerned with was that you didn’t want to leave the DEO. Of course you wanted to be at home, but you couldn’t get yourself to step out of the building. You felt safe in there. You had this fear that the man who took you would be out there, even though you knew he was in custody. Everyone tried to get you just to go on a simple walk outside, but your anxiety would kick in before you even got the chance. Today was going to be different, today you were determined to go outside. You haven’t been outside since Kara flew you to the DEO the day of the kidnapping, and you were barely conscious.. but today was different. 
You asked Kara, Alex, and Lena if you could all go on a walk. They gave a little surprised look but didn't say anything, they probably didn’t want you to overthink it, but they realized how big of a deal this was. You guys were having a normal conversation, walking through the DEO. You stopped when you reached the exit. You felt Kara give your hand a little squeeze, letting you know that it’s okay. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked outside. 
You were surprised as you felt the fresh air in your lungs. Everything looked greener than you remember. You spent so much time in the DEO, that you forgot there was life outside of the grey and dark building. You looked around at all the people, talking and laughing, and you were amazed at how good it felt. You quickly started to cry and turned back to your sisters and Lena.
“Oh baby why are you crying?” Alex asked softly, “Do you wanna go back inside?”
These were happy tears. 
“I’m finally free from him” you said smiling, wiping the tears from your face. 
They all smiled at you and were so proud of your strength and perseverance. You had a lot to work through still, but this was a break through. This was the first time since the kidnapping, that you were 100% sure that you would make it through this. You pulled them into group hug, silently thanking them for never leaving your side.
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oftheredmoon · 3 years
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my abuser abused me. after 10 years i broke my silence and told my childhood friend. i didnt want justice or anything bc i didnt want to destroy my family, i just wanted to confide in my closest friend. she immediately ran around town and told everyone. 2 years later, i found out random people knew about my trauma and were threatening my abuser as well as on the verge of involving my family. so i lied. and said i lied about the abuse. a lot of people in town hate me. ex-childhood friend hates me and victimizes herself; everyone takes her side. my abuser hates me and rather than be grateful that i took one for the team (since we both know what he did) he uses it against me. tells me he hates me because “you know what you did” on party chat in front of the handful of people who still speak to me.
i can never confide in anyone about this due to cultural reasons. i’m stuck living in a looped hell. people think im some mentally ill wacko who went off the deep end and tried to drag innocent people down with me. i dont do drugs. i dont drink. i dont have an escape. i dont have friends anymore. suicide is not an option. confiding in people is no longer an option. coping mechanisms dont work anymore. self-harm never worked and just made me feel stupid. moving out/running away is not an option. therapy didnt help, neither did meds.
i think the most painful thing is the blatant fact that i will never truly be happy.
i’m expected to get married and have children. i want to get married and have children. but how am i supposed to let my husband lay a finger on me without screaming and crying? how am i supposed to explain that the reason i breakdown everytime he compliments me is because nobody has ever paid attention to me before? how am i supposed to be a good wife and have a good job when im completely talentless and stupid because i spent my whole childhood in a locked room neglected? how am i supposed to a healthy partner when the very thought of him becoming slightly annoyed with me or ignoring me is enough to send me into a psychotic breakdown? how am i supposed to explain why im so mentally ill? why i have psychosis, ptsd, depression, anxiety, adhd, and borderline personality disorder. why im constantly dissociating. how am i supposed to explain why im so physically ill? my heart, my blood sugar, my ulcers, the migraines, the potential cysts, crohns disease, the fact that i can hardly eat without throwing up, the fact that my body has dealt with so much stress that its already giving up at 20 years old. i could keep going, but i wont.
its getting hard to feel anything anymore. i’m no longer in touch with reality. when i try to think about myself my appearance, my name and all the things that once defined me do not come up. im hardly human at this point. i wake up, eat, stare at the wall for 8 hours, eat again, maybe do some homework, and play xbox for a few hours before my abuser inevitably makes a comment and i get triggered and leave before i breakdown in front of everyone.
“just tell ur future husband!!” cant, its not that simple, im not from the west.
“find a supportive/understanding man!!” see above plus: no man is going to put up with a complete emotional trainwreck who can hardly function: thats a receipe for creating a cheater.
“find a friend group that your abuser doesnt hang out with!!” cant, everyone hates me, this friend group is the most successful one ive ever had, im scared of making new bonds, theyll all leave eventually.
“make online friends!!” i have very negative experiences with online friends, id rather not.
“seek professional help!!” already tried, didnt work, they would call the cops if they knew half the shit that happened to me, therapy is not the solution to everything.
“why did u say u lied in the first place...?” bc my abuser going to jail/being confronted by all of this wouldve destroyed my family. i couldnt let that happen.
“why did u expect ur abuser to be understanding and grateful..? they’re an abuser lol...” bc after the whole thing blew up and everyone hated me, we had a mutual agreement and understanding to make it water under the bridge in order to protect our family. guess i was wrong to think he cared about them.
“what do u want me to say then lol... ur not willing to help urself” i cant help myself. “my hands are tied” is the biggest understatement of the century.
this post is not to find my cure. i didnt make this post because i want people in my dms showing me that they’re concerned.
if ur concerned about me harming myself, dont be. you have my 100% guarantee that i will not self-harm or attempt suicide. i gave up on that years ago.
this post is to vent.
this post is for people who are in similar situations as me. people who cant find a way out. people who cant turn to escapes such as drugs. people who protect their abuser whether out of love or for the sake of others.
you’re not the only one. i understand. i know. its hard. you’re drowning. no one will grab your hand no matter how much you reach out. in the rare cases that someone does come you pull away. you’ve lost the best years of your life to trauma and mental illness. it feels like theres no point. nothing helps. nothing works. you’re practically a zombie. you often trigger yourself to cope. you just want the pain to end. you dont want to feel anymore. you want to feel something. you dont want to remember. you want to be loved. you want a sign that you belong here. you want to enjoy life. you want to die. you’re afraid of living but you’re afraid of death.
i’m so sorry you’re hurt. i hope you find peace and salvation in a safe manner. i hope you heal and enjoy life to the fullest.
dont really know how to end this. i hope we’ll all be okay. i hope everyone whos been traumatized can find peace on earth. i hope breathing can start to feel a little easier. sorry this is so long. take care of yourselves.
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blookmallow · 3 years
Text
back on the subject of that anxiety video again like. i think theres this… trend arising where people dont want to say “my mental illness is a struggle and i am always working on myself and finding methods to cope with it” because that somehow implies Theres Something Wrong With Me / You Cant Tell People To Change Themselves!!!! so people go to extreme lengths to try to be positive about mental illness to the point of outright denying symptoms. anxiety, depression, trauma, etc, SUCKS. its HARD. it hurts. it interferes with your life and it is a Lot to cope with. its not bad to admit that. its in fact A Good Thing to acknowledge that. you’re going through life carrying around a 50 pound weight on your back that other people dont have to deal with. its okay to admit that you’re struggling
“my anxiety is like super spidey senses for danger!!!” “my depression/trauma makes me creative/funny!!” leads into people refusing to seek out or accept help or even try to improve their quality of life. yes, most mental illness cant be “cured.” yes, not everyone has access to medication or therapy. but self care is important and you /can/ do things to manage your brainweirds.
im not saying “you gotta be normal so the neurotypicals dont get scared :(“ im saying do it for you. staying hydrated wont cure your depression but it’ll make you feel a little less shitty. my anxiety meds dont make me magically not anxious anymore but they do make me able to function on a basic level and not be so nauseous all the time I cant eat. please dont equate yourself and your entire identity with the parts of you that are hurting you. please dont deny yourself the chance to heal or even just to feel a little tiny bit better. you are not an incurable disaster destined to fail.
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xsugarysweetsx · 4 years
Note
Bam! Im gonna hit you with more various Honoka hcs.
⁃ So when Noka was a baby, neither her dad or Shirou knew what the hell to do with her wings.
⁃ Her first word was "Siro" which was exposed to be "Shirou"
⁃ She would fly around and their dad would make Shirou chase her down.
⁃ When Shirou and Noka were taken in by their uncle, he just slept and let her do whatever.
⁃ Their uncle, also known as Eraserhead, was a very kind guardian
⁃ He went to each of Shirou's ballet concerts, and did Noka's hair for picture day
⁃ If you looked through his search history it would be filled with "how to do a braid for beginners"
⁃ Aizawa bought Noka various art supplies and bought Shirou new shoes whenever they needed them
⁃ Didnt want them to become heroes
⁃ Cause he didnt want to see the two children he practically raised to be hurt
⁃ But because of their ties to All for One, the government forced both of them to become heros to "prove" that they had severed their bonds with All for One
⁃ Shirou's dream was to become a professional dancer and Noka's was to become a professional artist
⁃ And Aizawa was not happy that the two lights in his life were torn from their dreams
⁃ And so Shirou got accepted into the hero program, in class 1-A
⁃ He chose the hero name Shifter
⁃ Cause he could shift into any organic form
⁃ When he got 3rd place at the sports festival, Noka ran around her uncle's apartment screaming with joy
⁃ Noka is literally his biggest fan
⁃ Noka's first friend was a small purple haired boy name Hitoshi Shinsou
⁃ So naturally, she called him Toshi
⁃ And she refused to call him anything else all throughout middle and high school
⁃ Shinsou and Noka have sleepovers all the time and you can't tell me otherwise
⁃ When people would tell Shinsou that his quirk was villainous, Noka would always speak up cause she knew Shinsou wouldnt contradict them
⁃ Noka is always like that
⁃ Speaking up for others and herself. And her smart mouth tends to get her in trouble
⁃ Shinsou would fuss over Noka's wings. Like if they were dirty or a few feathers were out of place, Shinsou would sit her down and fix her wings.
⁃ "Toshi, your inner mom is showing"
⁃ "Its not my fault you cant take proper care of your wings"
⁃ When she told Shinsou about her acceptance into U.A's med course, he couldn't have been prouder
⁃ Noka is actually the one who encouraged Shinsou to train with her uncle.
⁃ But before that lets talk about Noka's time at U.A. so far
⁃ She was first introduced to class 1-A during the first combat training
⁃ Healed everyone who got very minor injuries
⁃ At the USJ attack, Shigiraki deteriorated part of Noka's hip. But her extremely enhanced natural healing abilities stopped the deterioration
⁃ So she has this big ass scar on the back side of her left hip
⁃ She wanted to absolutely murder Shigiraki for letting the Nomu loose on her uncle
⁃ But she doesnt have any damaging fire power
⁃ So she just tried to heal her uncle's wounds the best she could
⁃ Nearly gets herself killed many times with her smart assery
⁃ And gives everyone around her a heart attack in the process
⁃ During the sports festival, she helped RG heal all the students
⁃ Reprimanded Deku for overusing OfA
⁃ Oh yeah, she learned about AfO and OfA from her time with All for One
⁃ Is kind of like to Deku like Recovery Girl is to All Might
⁃ So fast foward to the internships
⁃ She interns with another oc of mine, Snow
⁃ Who is a healer but with incredible attack powers
⁃ Coincidentally, Noka was patrolling Hosu when the nomus hit
⁃ She recieved Deku's distress signal and ran to the scene
⁃ She didnt attack the hero killer, but ran to help Native and made sure he didnt bleed out
⁃ The hero killer didnt bat a single eye at her, deeming her not a threat
⁃ In the end, she didnt harm Stain so her hero guardian? didnt have to take any blame for her actions
⁃ Noka however did get nearly ripped in half by a nomu, so she had to stay in the hospital with Todo and Deku
⁃ So— Summer training arc
⁃ She just looked at her class and said "fuck this" and flew over the whole forest
⁃ She actually beat the wild wild pussycats back to the camp
⁃ She got to know Kota, telling him how she never wanted to become a hero
⁃ Kota may or may not have developed a kiddie crush on her 😳
⁃ But anyways, when everyone else saw her all nice and refreshed, needless to say they were upset
⁃ Some more than others
⁃ *remembers Bakugou nearly blowing off Noka's face because she cheated*
⁃ Aizawa just smirking at his niece cause shes so much like her mother
⁃ "DAMMIT TAKAHASHI. YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE YOU CHEATER"
⁃ "They said to use our quirks. Its not my fault your quirk is too grounded"
⁃ "WHAT— YOU WANNA FIGHT—"
⁃ "No I wanna eat, goodbye—"
⁃ Focuses on her attack and the healing capabilities of her quirk
⁃ Let me set the scene
⁃ At the beginning of UA, our Noka could barely heal up a small cut
⁃ But now, she can close up major wound with little to no effort
⁃ P r o g r e s s people
⁃ N e ways
⁃ So when they do the haunted quirk thingy
⁃ Hairi and Noka are paired up, to their delight
⁃ But they aren't able to go into the forest before the attack happens
⁃ Apparently, the league came for Bakugou and Noka
⁃ Cause the "master" wanted his first nomu to return to him
⁃ But all Deku knew was "they are after Kacchan and the master's first Nomu"
⁃ Nobody knew who the first nomu was except for Noka
⁃ See, AfO took and gave Noka various quirks, eventually ending up with her current quirk(s)
⁃ Eventually, Noka is cornered by Dabi
⁃ His fire power vastly out matches hers
⁃ But she puts up one hell of a fight
⁃ And Kurogiri took her before she woke up and fought back even more
⁃ So everyone was panicking when they couldnt find Noka
⁃ Aizawa was panicking them most
⁃ His precious niece was missing, no, taken by the league
⁃ The students had never seen their teacher so frazzled
⁃ The thing that broke Aizawa more was the look on Shirou's face when he told him that his baby sister was missing
⁃ His precious baby sister
⁃ His whole world
⁃ Shirou didnt go out of his room for days
⁃ He was there when they were to save Bakugou and Noka
⁃ All Might fought AfO, and won
⁃ But there was no sign of Noka
⁃ Shirou nearly tackled Bakugou, demanding, no, more like pleading for him to tell him where she was
⁃ Bakugou merely said "She's gone, and I dont know where she went"
⁃ The whole class was in a panic
⁃ Where was Noka? Was she hurt? Was she scared? Was she in danger?
⁃ And the question that hung on everyone's mind the most was
⁃ Is she alive?
⁃ The emptiness of Noka's desk was deafening
⁃ Their smart ass classmate was nowhere to be found
⁃ And they all felt guilty
⁃ But none more than Bakugou
⁃ For he was the last to see her alive so to speak
⁃ And her last words to him were "Forget about me ya big oaf, you hear me? I don't want you sulking, or I'll personally beat your ass."
⁃ Forget about her? How could he do that?
⁃ Noka was the only person who didn't put up with his bullshit
⁃ From day one she put him in his place
⁃ And honestly shes the closest thing to a sister he has
⁃ During the hero license exam, all of class 1-A decided that Noka would be really upset if they all sulked and failed their exams
⁃ But the fact that only Todoroki and Bakugou failed would make her fall into hysterics
⁃ When class 1-A met the big three, Mirio told them that Noka was strong and stubborn to a fault, so they shouldnt worry about things that arent in their control
⁃ To which they asked how he knew her
⁃ Apparently Shirou, Amajiki, and Mirio have all been friends since elementary school
⁃ So Amajiki and Mirio had been there a lot for many crucial parts of Noka's childhood
⁃ When the work studies started, Deku went on patrol with Mirio and Shirou, AKA Lemillion and Shifter
⁃ Shirou couldnt help but feel so much guilt crushing him when Eri jumped out of Deku's arms
⁃ Cause Eri reminded him of his little sister
⁃ Speaking of little sister
⁃ For the last 2 months, Noka had been experimented on by Kai Chisaki
⁃ In the mean time trying to protect Eri and building a loving friendship with the young girl
⁃ But ive alreadly talked about this part
⁃ So skipping to when they save her
⁃ It was a total shock for them
⁃ To see this wingless, pale, frail, bandage wrapped girl
⁃ And even more so when she spoke
⁃ Not having that bite that their Noka had
⁃ But a softer, more broken voice replaced her normally boisterous and confident voice
⁃ In the big battle agains Chisaki, Noka got slammed against a wall
⁃ Which in normal circumstances would be fine, but with her body in such a week state it immediately cracked her ribs and spine
⁃ Ochako helped get her friend to the ambulance as quick as she could
⁃ Shirou saw a fluff of pale pink hair out of the corner of his eye
⁃ He immediately turned to run towards the medical stretcher, but was stopped
⁃ He kicked and screamed something along the lines of "THATS MY BABY SISTER. PLEASE LET ME SEE HER"
⁃ In the most broken voice you would ever hear
⁃ In the hospital, after Sir. Nighteye had passed, Deku, Kirishima, Amajiki, Shirou, Ochako, Tsu and Aizawa were all waiting anxiously for Noka's surgery
⁃ When all of a sudden the door explodes open and the nurses and doctors are shoved out by an invisible force of heat
⁃ Noka was using her ability to set herself aflame and be healed in the ashes
⁃ But no one knew wtf was going on cause she learned the trick at the Hassaiki hideout
⁃ So p a n i k
⁃ But after the doctors confirmed her stablility, they all went back to school
⁃ The whole class bursted into tears when they told them about Noka
⁃ Jirou, Kaminari, Momo and Mina all being the most emotionally impacted
⁃ Bakugou was almost crying witb relief but he disnt show jt
⁃ They weren't allowed to see Noka for a whole month
⁃ Only family were allowed
⁃ She was hard at work recovering and going through therapy and they didnt want to disturb her
⁃ But when they (Kirishima, Deku, Ochako, and Tsu) did visit, they were shocked
⁃ There was this soft spoken, trembling, woman, and this was after a month of intense therapy
⁃ They hadnt event started physcial therapy yet, they wanted to get her tk the point she could be around others without going into a panic mode
⁃ Thus she needs the wheelchair
I have a bunch more random hcs but this is so long anyways. Im so sorry >_<
~Blurb~
It’s fine anon but seriously you gotta start posting!
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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 4 years
Note
Not a bi related question really...but I feel like my mental illness makes me hard to love. I always end up subconsciously pushing people away. I don’t feel like my antidepressants are working anymore and whenever I go to therapy I feel fine at the moment but go back to having breakdowns days later
hi nonnie. recovery is a process and it is easy to feel stuck or like things will never get better. i promise you that there are people in your life that love you regardless of your mental illness. & there will people in the future that you meet who will love you regardless as well.
i really recommend you talk to your psychiatrist about not feeling like your medications are working anymore. There are a lot of things that can be done to try and help that - theres a few different meds that work as antidep maximizers in that they help to kind of maximize/increase the effect of the meds you are already taking, and such. bloodwork might be helpful as certain deficiencies also worsen depressive symptoms - i had a massive vitamin D deficiency that i found out about after being hospitalized & going on prescription strengrh vit D pills for like a week really helped & so now i take a vit D supplement with the rest of my meds so that doesnt happen again. it could be a lot of things and your psychiatrist can help you to figure that out so that you feel like your meds are effective again.
another recommendation would be to try and record some notes about the breakdowns you have that you can use to reference when you see your therapist. honestly there have been times ive pulled up my private twitter or some tumblr posts that i wrote while i was upset to remember what exactly was my trigger or what i was thinking/feeling in that moment to discuss with my therapist. so in the intervals having a little journal or maybe drafts in ur phone or s/t where you can write a bit after the episode like "date/time, heres how i was feeling, & i think i was triggered by xyz". or something. i would also recommend talking to them about how you feel you push people away, because they could maybe help you identify some coping strategies or something to help you start to unpack that.
im sorry that you are feeling this way but you are definitely not alone. please remember that healing is not straightforward and to keep in mind the ways that you have already made progress - like ur in treatment ! thats huge and im proud of u for that ! it wont be like this forever and im rooting for you. ❤
(also please know that yall can always dm or message me at @warrenkoles if u need any specific mental health resources, help looking for treatment in ur area or that kind of thing)
Wes
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fuckthisblog · 3 years
Text
i tried to post a raw heart to heart calling myself out
and i somehow selected all the text and deleted it
and then accidentally clicked once when i went to click undo
so the undo just did the fuckin click
whatever
this is probably better, less words, more action
BULLET POINTS:
no more calling out of work unless ur dying, you can call in late if you have any hours left (i doubt u do..)
you need more nature in your life, you're dying without it, nobody cares how fat you are, just go for a fucking woods walk it will heal you---- if you need an excuse post on ur town list on fb//rover or some shit and find a dog that needs to be walked so that u cant back out. cant take ur dog cause she crazy but if its a last resort playing w her in backyard is great and you should do that more anyways
im serious im doubling down on the that point, you've been a nature baby since you laughed when you were baptized (what baby laughs when an old man appears to be attempting to drown them? you - cause ya liked the water) you need to swim, you need sun on your face, you need to feel the presence of living things around you without the pressure of those living things being able to communicate (ah the beauty of nature lol)
you need to establish basic daily tasks - you know what im talking about (*so basic its concerning you're missing them)
look into how expensive it might be to have someone come by once a week to take out trash
you need to see a doctor, something is wrong, it shouldnt be this painful to take out the fucking trash
apartment , cleaner, generally, you've always sucked at this so whatever just attempt it
stop drinking. you arent really. but stop anyways.
weed - problem? not a problem? idk but lets look into it. you stopped smoking and accomplished more than you ever have. you started again and you've been stagnant since. maybe a pattern, maybe a coincidence? either way it all leads back to seeing a fucking doctor because rn its hard to stop given the nausea and the pain
maybe throw your xbox into a river, just a thought
you dont need to know what you want to do in life, you just need to know what you want/need to do next
you're currently very alone and thats rough but a good thing, you've always been too codependent/too caring of what others thought/too needy ------ this is your time to go inwards. 27 years old. inwards inwards inwards.
IF YOU WANNA BE A GOOD PERSON THEN DO SOME GOOD FUCKING THINGS, VOLUNTEER FOR FUCKS SAKE
dont go on social media dont do it sadness lives there for you right now especially
CBT THERAPY IS HELPING A LOT KEEP IT GOING - YOURE DOING IT ON YOUR OWN AND THATS AMAZING IM VERY PROUD OF YOU BUT ALSO SEE IF MAYBE THERES ANY SUPPORT SYSTEM TO ADD IT COULD BE HELPFUL
STAND UP COMEDY- SAVED YA BEFORE
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
JUST ANY
MOVE
ALSO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS MORE YOU HAVE GREAT FRIENDS AND THEYRE SO SUPPORTIVE YOU'RE JUST AN ISOLATING ASS BITCH WHO WANTS WHAT SHE CANT HAVE
long story short ----------------
NATURE. MOVEMENT. CBT. GO INWARDS. ONE STEP AT A TIME.
AND POSSIBLY THROW XBOX IN A RIVER. (seriously youve never been a video game person, and now you are because youve cut off everything else - its a dopamine drain)
Done yelling now. Tasks for the rest of October through November. Go. Do. Succeed. Or try at least.
You have comedy tomorrow and Saturday to kick it off. And you just scheduled a mini road trip to another favorite comedian in new york for Nov 20th. You have a class (soon to be classes probably) starting in Nov which will help w the whole sense of purpose thing.
You can do this . You got this. Idk what "this" even means. I just know theres potential for more. A lot more. and you're really depressed right now, and meds can only do so much. You need to take..some form of action.
Even if it starts w just ... taking a fucking shower.
0 notes
saintvintage · 3 years
Text
idk y im posting this here but
i’ve had the night from hell. i had said my partner walked out on me yesterday morning. like, he literally walked out the front door with a trash bag containing some of his stuff. he’s a bad alcoholic with so much trauma it’d break your heart. i was angry. i’ve been trying to get him to stop drinking, it’s killing him. he’s got mental illness like you couldn’t believe. i just want him to get better. he drank all night and i caught him that morning, tried to de-escalate by locking myself in the bedroom. told him point blank “i won’t talk to you now. don’t drink anymore. sober up. i’ll talk to you when i wake up” it was about 6-7 am. i don’t sleep well. he had been up all night drinking. he wouldn’t leave me alone. knocked and knocked on the door. i refused to open it. he did this for so long, eventually asked me to let him in to get some clothes. with toothbrush in his mouth, he said he was gonna go to his therapist. it was sunday. i told him. i was angry. i threatened him to get out. he wouldn’t. he kept acting exasperated that  i was upset and wanting him to leave me alone, like he hadn’t done anything. i couldn’t take it. i know i shouldn’t have, but i didn’t know what else to do. i grabbed his arm and pulled him hard to the door, then shoved him with all my might through. he had had enough then. called a good friend of ours to pick him up. friend was going to church, wouldn’t be there til the afternoon i figured. ugly fight in the kitchen. i went out back to cool off. eventually, after he told me he was gonna move out, i went and helped him get his things. i was fuming. i took our pictures down out of the bedroom, told him to take everything. i would be bagging it up anyway. he refused. after he had gone back downstairs with his stuff, i locked myself back in the bedroom. i thought he was going to wait to be picked up. i heard him go out the door, but i thought i heard a voice so i figured he left. no, he did leave, but he just took off walking down the road, down the busy roadway outside our neighborhood. i told my family this and they went out to look for him. wouldn’t tell me where he was. eventually i got him on the phone, telling him my family’s out looking for him, crying and telling him they were worried about him and they love him and he was so drunk he kept interrupting me telling me he was fine, like it was stupid for us all to worry. i heard our friend was with him, so i knew he was going over there now, that he was in a car and off the road on foot. 
i was a mess, understandably. i tried to go out and not think about it. i got through the day alright, but that night was when the real horror started. our other friend, who is 1 friend’s gf, calls me to check on me. apparently she had been over there with them for a while and she told me all the terrible things were going on. he had been drinking hard liquor all day. friend 1 said later that he had probably drank $300 worth of liquor. i eventually got a call from him, and he told me he was going to kill himself. i texted her (friend 2) to tell her to tell her bf (friend 1) to go check on him because he was by himself outside. F1 did, and he hung up on me when it happened. in between the time i hung up and the time i took a call with F2 trying to get more info on what happened that day and generally see what was going on, my partner had gone into the kitchen and tried to slit his wrists. F1 and his brother drew guns on him to make him stopp. idk but it worked. they called the police who called the EMT. he refused to go to the ER (naturally) so it was up to me to go get him. which, the state my partner was in, it would’ve been a disaster. he had been talking shit about me all day, talking like that whenever he was drinking over there, had made the plans to move out already the last time we were there. he had been hitting on any female around (mostly F2 & F1′s bro’s gf) just.... it was a mess. i got my mother, a nurse, and my teenage brother who is a big kid, to go with me. it was horrifying when i got there. he was so drunk it was shocking. i had never seen him like this before. he was trying to get naked (which i also found out from last time we all hung out, i HAD done) the cops weren’t very helpful (shocker) they had been called twice and were gonna leave again if F1′s bro hadn’t said he’d just call back and have them sent out. they were supposed to escort us to the hospital but just drove off. 
partner’s being belligerent, combative, but randomly would get calm. it took a long time, but F1 was able to coax him into the car. child lock on doors and windows. good thing. he tried to get out several times on the ride to the ER. it was going fine until about a couple minutes away he wigged out. it was a literal fight to keep him still. he tried punching the windows out, kicking them, eventually bashing his head into it (there’s blood on my from something and i hope it wasn’t that). he started clawing my brother, tried to knee him, pulled his hair, and i couldn’t help myself but hit him back, try to stop him, it was terrible. when he pulled up, it was three of us trying to subdue him. my mom ran in and asked for “hands” per instruction of F1 who’s in med, a skinny little nurse comes out with a wheelchair. it took me having to scream out help someone help get someone out here to have three men come out there and detain him. i think one of those men might’ve just been a patient or someone in the lobby. as soon as he was out of our grip, he calmed down. i went in with him and checked him in, and talked with everyone a long while about what happened. i’m trying to forgive the flirting and shit-talking because he was drinking. they said he broke his phone, his toothbrush, broke some of their stuff, was trying to fight F1 and his brother, hit on F1′s bro’s gf, did smth to F2 that was inappropriate. it was a nightmare. i called the hospital this morning, and all they could say was he was okay, he was asleep. 
we didn’t leave that hospital until about 4 AM. i feel like i’m in a soap opera. i feel drained. it was awful, seeing him so drunk he couldn’t even talk straight. he glared at me. he mocked me. the hatred he had for me then was terrifying. i’m no saint. our relationship is far from perfect. but i didn’t think he had that much hatred for me in his heart. i think i’m a hypocrite for saying that, because i’ve said nasty things to him that i shouldn’t have. i feel partially responsible. i feel like i’ve failed him somehow. everyone kept telling me to stop apologizing and i wasn’t to blame, but that doesn’t feel true to me. i hate what happened. i hate that i couldn’t help him myself. i hate that i’ve been so mean to him in the past. i know, in essence, this anger and hatred isn’t for me, it’s for the abuse he suffered, but it’s still a painful thing to experience. i’m not mad at him, i’m so pitifully drained and tired and sorrowful i don’t even know who i am. 
now i’m just waiting for him to wake up and call me. i hope he does. part of me is afraid he won’t even want to talk or have me visit. he’s going to have to go in-patient somewhere. i’ve been trying for about 4 years to get a handle on this, to stop the drinking, get him to therapy, research ways to help him. i should’ve been kinder. i shouldn’t have let my anger explode out of me like that.  i’m ashamed to learn of what i did last time we were over there on his bday. what a disaster set of friends we are. i’ve got to learn how to make the both of us healthy. i’ve got to figure out how to get us as independent, healthy-minded people. i’ve got to help him get to where he can fortify himself and heal. i’ve talked myself blue in the face about how his past still haunts him and how he lives in this agony everyday and how he HAS TO process his troubles before he can move on. there’s been such little effort on his part. he blamed me for trying to stop him from drinking, at least that’s what they said he was saying about me. i nagged him. i just am gonna need a distraction and support and i don’t even know what i’m going to say when he calls. i won’t tell him what happened yet. i know for a fact he won’t remember it, and he’ll wake up in the hospital not even knowing how he got there. this is just so sick to me. but i have to help him. if i don’t, no one else will be able to. i’m just so grateful for our friends and my family helping out. if it wasn’t for them, i have no idea what would’ve happened. it wouldn’t been horrible, though. 
0 notes
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Here's the quick version of the story- I'm 21 and have just totaled my Altima on a rainy night, crashing into the back of a parked SUV, also totaling that. I have received a $700 bill for the ambulance, a $1200 for the radiography and, here's the kicker, a $24,000 bill for the hospital. I do not have medical insurance or medical coverage on my car insurance and will not be able to pay off the hefty hospital bill. What options do I have?""
How do you get someone's car insurance provider?
The accident happened at a house i dont know if that counts as privite property or not but I've contact my own insurance filing it under my own policy. I gave them the opposite partys number and tag and they did tell me he did give a recorded statement. The insurance does hold him responsible but he refuses to give up any insurance at all. Is there anyway you can get insurance company through a tag number?
Best and cheap major health insurance?
Best and cheap major health insurance?
Does anyone actually know if AIG/21st Century Insurance has been sold to Zurich?
Does anyone actually know if AIG/21st Century Insurance has been sold to Zurich?
I lost my wallet and need to replace my drivers license, do I have to have a form of car insurance?
Im in Texas. Also, how much does it usually cost to replace the drivers license?
Do I need an insurance broker?
What is the role of an insurance broker, simply to find you the best insurance price without having to do it yourself? Do I need to have a broker? I ask because I am trying to lower my insurance costs, but none of the insurance companies my broker deals with can give me a price I am happy with. I have got quotes from insurance companies outside of the ones my insurance broker deals with that are much more appealing financialy. So I guess my question is do I need an insurance broker? Or can I just cancel my current insurance and start a new policy with one of these other companies who can offer me cheaper insurance. thanks""
Health Insurance question?
Do any one know a insurance in California that cover pre-existing condition? I am eighteen year old with no insurance still living with my parent which have no health insurance. We had medical but it expired. I have heart problem the doctor said i need to get insurance that cover pre-existing condition. I have try getting quotes online. Or know any good insurance i should try giving a call to.
What is the cheapest but best car insurance for NYC. thank you.?
1967 dodge dart need insurance fast if you can please help.
Car insurance question?
I have basic liability insurance with American Family Insurance, About a week ago my boyfriend (who has a suspended license) took my car when i was sleeping, almost hit a deer and went in a ditch with my car and im pretty sure its totaled its a 97 lumina. I have a title loan on the car, will insurance pay it off?""
How to get cheaper car insurance?
I haven't yet passed my test, or even got a car, but was just researching to see if i could afford it. and the cheapest I could find was 3,000 a year which is impossible for me seeing as I'm at college. I was just wondering does anyone know of cheap places? or ways to cut it down by a bit? I have no one else in my house who drives, or even owns a car. thank you""
Auto insurance question?
I am looking into financing a 2007 honda civic coupe ex. It is a 1.8 liter inline 4 motor. Front wheel drive and automatic with almost 68,000 miles on it. In florida, you have to get full coverage until you finish paying off the car. I am 23 with 2 traffic tickets. One for a stop sing violation and another for no proof of insurance. Both tickets were given to me at the same time almost 3 years ago. Thats the only 2 tuckets ive ever had. I live in the country as well because i know that matters for a quote. But with this information, what would be a good estimate on how much full coverage insurance would be on this vehicle? Thanjs in advance.""
Selling a Car in Colorado With Expired Plates and No Insurance?
I have a car that has expired plates and no insurance as I haven't been using it for the past few months. The plates are expired since March of this year. Will either a dealership or private-buyer be able to purchase her? I am afraid to register the plates as I was told that I need proof of insurance. I am afraid to purchase insurance because I was told that the insurance company will report me for expired plates. How can I get around this issue without going to court? The car has been parked on private property for months!
Are there any specialized insurance company's that deal with young drivers?
I find it extremely annoying to type in all my details every single time I want to check the quote for a different car... ideally, I want a website where I can type in my details but NOT select the car and then it show me the quotes for each car so I can then CHOOSE from the list which car it is that I want... I'm 17, nearly 18 and have a full UK license and I'm looking at buying my first car. All the insurance quotes I've looked at are for over 1,700. Most of them are around 2,500. It's not like I'm choosing Ferrari's or anything either lol I'm looking at small run abouts, 106's, Saxo's, Polo's... I don't really CARE what the car is but I want a car. Any advice?""
I want a baby but don't have insurance?
My husband and I just got a new apartment and then got married courthouse style. We have both decided that we want a baby soon but right now we don't have insurance. Is there any cheap option that would cover the entire pregnancy?
Auto Insurance help thanks?
I am 16 thinking about getting me a car in the next year (17) can i get on my own insurance plan or try to get on my moms (me and my mom don't look eye to eye) so i don't think she wouldn't do it and if not how much would it cost if i get on my own insurance and what would be the best insurance for my age thanks so much.
What would health insurance catagorize a house call as?
I was on vacation, and got very sick. Small rural area, options were low, so the concierge referred Mobile physician housecall care to the hotel room. they did not take insurance, but told me to submit it to my insurance. I don't know what to put on the claim form??? not an office visit...E.R.? urgent care?? help please...thank you""
Where can i find affordable birth control?
i'm currently on my last perscribed month of the pill estrostep. my health insurance has been cancelled because i just can't afford it, we just bought a house and we're on a very tight budget. in order to get another perscription, i need to have a gyn appointment for an exam, but a visit is $200 without insurance, then another $50 a month for the perscription. any ideas?""
Do car insurances typically give lower quotes for married couples?
I'm going to be jumping on to my fiances auto plan [Progressive] and heard that insurance agencies give lower prices to married couples. Is this true? He drives a 1988 bonneville and I drive a 2001 sunfire. I am also in college, he isnt.""
How much is car insurance in ontario?
im just wondering, how much would car insurance be for a 1st time driver whos 19 and have to do it all on his owe as nobody in the family has a car lol. i dont plan on putting a car on the road till i get my g2, what isnt for like another 10months haha so i have been saving money up, Im Thinking it will proly be around $400 a month but not sure so does anybody else in ontario know how much it is? ps.. live in belleville ontario canada""
How much is my car payment going to be?
I'm a 16 year old girl, in Albuquerque, NM. And I am going to buy a Used 2007 Chevy Aveo with 39,000 miles on it. The car itself is $8,995, and I figured out the down payment is gonna be like 1,000 dollars-ish. But I really wanna know how much my monthly is gonna be, and I know, my first car should be a clunker, but I really need something that is gonna work and get me places since I am really involved in school and sports and stuff. So, how much is my monthly gonna be? and INSURANCE! I know Insurance is gonna be higher since I am a teen driver, but I don't know how much. And I wanna be able to ask my parents about how we're gonna split the payments and stuff, since I am getting a job soon and I want to be able to pay for most of my OWN stuff. Thank You :)""
What would insurance be on a brand new car for a first time driver?
I'm 21, and have been looking at the new 1.2 litre corsas. I've been looking at used cars, but I've done a few checks on the ones I'm interested in and they came back cat c, or high mileage, and if I had a new car ide get warranty and added extras. Just seems alot less hassle and having to worry if anything goes wrong with the car... But, would the insurance be really high with it being a brand new car and my first car? Thank you x""
Should I change car insurance?
So here how it goes. I want to get a new insurance for my Mom's car. She is 52 years old women who drives a Honda civic 2002 Sendan that was totaled and repair before. She is paying 1,600 a year and I think that's a lot for liability . She used to have a car before that was in an accident(my brother hit somebody else car) and we had to drop that insurance(progressive). Two years after my brother broke another car that my mother bought but this time the insurance company(state farm) did not find out. Right now we are back to progressive and a car hit me while driving and I did call the insurance. It was not my fault and I don't think anything changed because we are still paying 1,600 but I still think its a lot. It is the best I can explain the situation , so should I go out and try to find a better deal? Any advice is appreciated""
EX(executive) class model car insurance?
Is it true EX class model car have higher insurance rate? I want to buy an honda accord 2000 EX.
I got an insurance quote for a 1990 mustang gt at 225 a month. im 17 how do i get lower?
i want a foxbody so bad. nothing will stop me from getting one except insurance rates with my dad. he is being stiff about a mustang in general so i need a low insurance rate to ...show more
No insurance for high school sport?
What happens if you don't have health insurance and you wanna try out for a team? Will they disqualify you from even making the team because of it?
What are some cheap cars to insure for an 18 Year old?
What are some cheap cars to insure for an 18 Year old? I am learning to drive at the moment but I want to know what some cheap cars are to insure?
Does anyone know an insurance company that offers cheap/free SR-22's for license ?
need it to keep my lic. valid. ASAP... help please!
What would the annual insurance cost range look like for a Benz C63 AMG?
Would the cost be greater just because of the model? Say I upgraded a C300 so it reached the base price of a C63 - would this increase the cost of insurance? Or is it based solely on the model? So if I upgraded the C63 so the value bumped up 20k, would my insurance become more expensive? I am new to all this, and want to get an idea of these things for the future. Thanks.""
What's the best liability insurance for yoga instructors?
I will begin teaching yoga, and need to get liability insurance- what's a good inexpensive insurance""
Do you pay a lot of money for car insurance where you live?
Wher so you live an dhow much does it cost. I live in NY it the sh*t is HIGH.
I lost my wallet and need to replace my drivers license, do I have to have a form of car insurance?
Im in Texas. Also, how much does it usually cost to replace the drivers license?
Why do people hate Obamacare so much?
Because of this law, a lot of people are now able to get affordable health insurance. I'm one of those people. I can buy my epilepsy medication at an affordable price. Why do Republicans want to rip this away from me and go back to the way things were before? By the way, I was on my parents insurance before, but I moved out because I needed to be a man and get out on my own. Because of Obamacare, that is much more affordable now for me. Health care was a disaster before this law. What will Republicans do if they repeal Obamacare?""
How does a 18 year old buy a car without a license or insurance?
I want to buy this camaro from this guy because he wants to sell it because he has two cars but I have not took my drivers test because I work so much and I do not have auto insurnce. I want to buy the car so it can sit in my garage until I get my license then I can register it and stuff. Like is their any paperwork or legal processes I should know of because In my mind I just think I can Get my uncle to drive me out there and give the guy the money in return he gives me the keys and my bro drives it to my house or does it need to be towed?
How am I supposed to afford car insurance?
I'm driving uninsured right now because for me to get car insurance is $900 every six months. That would crush me financially right now. Between rent and gas, and what little Starbucks pretends to pay me, not to mention food (and sometimes that's one meal a day, and even then it may be stealing expired sandwiches and pastries from the garbage can at Starbucks). So, it's utterly naive of the government to think of driving as a luxury , when in reality- when you have to travel 20 miles a day to get to work at Starbucks- walking is unrealistic. The bus routes do not go by there, by the way. How the hell do they expect a 24-year old man to afford car insurance, when he has to work to earn the money to pay for it, and he has to drive to work, and in order to drive he has to drive illegally?! The @#*%ing system is completely screwed up if you ask me. Don't get me started on how the hell I'm supposed to afford gas these days, either.""
How do you get affordable Health Insurance at age 64?
I moved from AZ to CA and I am retired but very little income. How can I afford to pay for health insurance? Are there any organizations that can suggest places to contact.
What is the type of insurance that protects against the cost of injuries of others that's our fault?
What is the type of insurance that protects against the cost of injuries of others that's our fault?
How much would the car insurance be on a 2013 Dodge Challenger R/T.? I'm under the age of 25 so I know it will be pricey. Any opinions?
How much would the car insurance be on a 2013 Dodge Challenger R/T.? I'm under the age of 25 so I know it will be pricey. Any opinions?
""I was hit by an uninsured motorist, and I have an uninsured clause in my car insurance.?""
My car was totaled out, and since my car insurance had a non insured motorist clause then I just have to pay the deductible, and they will cut me a check. I was hurt in the accident, and I wanted to know if my car insurance (Progressive) will also pay out pain and suffering. I am considering taking this guy to small claims court, but if I do then I have no idea what the outcome would be. IF my insurance offers me a pain and suffering settlement then should I take it? can I negoiate for a higher settlement? Everyone is telling me to take whatever is offered to me because the guy that hit my car didn't have insurance, and could possibly claim indigentcy in which case I would most likely never see the money. I can get a pain and suffering settlement from my own insurance, but I believe that the person that hit me should have to pay it, and I am also assuming that I would get more money out of him directly than letting my insurance cover the pain and suffering. This is my first wreck that I have gotten into, in which, I was the party that was damaged (almost died), and the other guy only received a ticket. I know that life is not fair, but like I said before, this is my first car wreck where I was owed money and the other person did not have insurance. Any information will be much appreciated. Thank You Very Much.""
What health insurance can I apply for?
I'm in California, in my 30s, and just recently been laid off. Though my plans are to become a full time student this summer. What health insurance plans can I start applying for besides COBRA?""
How do I get cheap car insurance?
New driver at 21
Car Insurance Renewal Why Did It Make That Much Of A Difference?
My partner had his renewal quote through and we've been shopping around and haven't even come close to getting it cheaper elsewhere so he decided to ring them thinking by taking me off the policy it would make it cheaper still since I've only had my license just over a year and would think still be considered a high risk but it in fact increased the price by about 60 my partner got a speeding fine last year which gained him 3 points too so we knew that would have an impact on the price this time but the only explanation I can think of was that me being female and at 31 i'm not what is classed as a young driver either and a named driver on his policy helps to keep the cost down but aren't the insurance companies doing away with that criteria as it was discriminating? Can anyone shed some light on this as its all a bit confusing and am just curious to why I actually help to keep his insurance cheaper
I hit someones car (My first accident)?
I was pulling out and hit another car I was going under 5km/h backing up and I cut the wheel to much and hit a parked car How much is that gonna cost me We are not going through insurance How much would it cost to paint it
How do I know if my insurance company is treating me fairly?
I was recently in an accident. The offer that my insurance company is making is much lower than NADA and Kelley Blue Book values--the insurance company is offering 9,200 and the NADA value is 11,600 (KBB is 12,500). They said that their estimate was based on the local market value and was an average of private party and dealer values. They looked within a 100-mile radius and found similar cars. They then adjusted the value to reflect the mileage of my car, but I don't know how exactly they calculated this adjusted value. I bought my car from a dealership seven months ago--shouldn't the replacement value be the retail value? Also, I had a Subaru WRX and they compared it to WRXs and to Impreza Outback Sports. I looked on autotrader.com and on other Internet resources and found WRXs that were listed much higher than the WRXs in their market report, and I don't know what to do--I don't want to spend the money for a lawyer, but I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle.""
Should fat people and smokers get a discount on their health insurance?
Fat People Cheaper to Treat, Study Says Preventing obesity and smoking can save lives, but it doesn't save money, researchers reported Monday. It costs more to care for healthy people who live years longer, according to a Dutch study that counters the common perception that preventing obesity would save governments millions of dollars... -- AP/wired.com, Feb 6, 2008 http://news.wired.com/dynamic/stories/O/OBESITY_COST?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2008-02-05-02-58-08""
How can the American health care system be more affordable and accessible?
I want solutions, not a mere description of the problem nor who is to blame.""
What is the cheapest car insurance?
I passed my driving licence in August 2012 and i want a small cheap car?
How much does insurance on a Chinese moped cost?
I'm female, 22, 3 years car no claim bonus.. I was thinking about the Piaggio Zip 50 for 1000 but I'm now v. tempted and seriously considering buying a Guoben LB50QT-21 for 500. I've heard people have had problems with these bikes but I am buying it from an actual bike shop not just ebay. Does anyone know how much insurance I would pay on the cheap bike? Is it likely to be a lot more than a branded bike? Thank you!""
17 years old and my car insurance is way too high...?
I'm 17 years old and I live in the state of New York. A few months ago I had a little accident with my moms cars. My father said he'll buy me a car if I pay for insurance... but my insurance would be 3600 dollars per year which I won't be able to afford making minimum wage. Is there anyways I could lower the price for insurance? I really need some help thank you!
Where can I find cheap car insurance for Manhattan?
I recently moved to Manhattan and had to bring my car. I had plan on selling it, but with no luck. So now I have to keep it and now I have no insurance. The car is in storage right now. Can anyone suggest a cheap insurance company to me. I have gotten quotes from Geico, Progressive, All State, State Farm, Nationwide, who all either denied me for a lapse I have had or they cost twice as much as my car payment. I know that I am reaching for the stars.""
If my 17 year old son moves to another state will my medical insurance still cover him?
my son is planning on moving to california and he is a type one diabetic. so im wondering if he's in another state than i am if my insurance will cover him.
Car insurance question....?
A stray dog ran out in front of my car causing me some damage. My insurance adjuster writes his own estimate so he told me what the insurance would pay minus my deductible. He said the check would be sent to me, that I can have anyone I want to fix it and to shop around. Does that mean if I can find someone to do it for less I can keep the extra to help me toward my deductible????? even though I need to tell them who is doing it before the check is sent to me. (the check will have both names on it) My friend says if I can get it done for less that agreement is between me and who I chose so any extra is mine?????? I don't want to do anything wrong but I also don't want to give money away that I don't have to.""
""How does car insurance work in America, and how much does it cost on average?
just want to know how it works over in the USA compared to britain.
What is the best car insurance?
What Is the best car insurance for 18 year old. Im driving a 99 s10 blazer.
Insurance payout after lien paid?
My insurance recently sent my lien-holder, Chase Bank, the agreed amount for my totaled car. I owed about 3k less than what they paid out so am now left wondering when I will receive the difference. Chase received the payment a week ago.""
How much is cheap auto insurance for a 16 yr old female?
she would have a nissan maxima. how much would it be to have her under her own..with a co signer in VA
Does auto insurance cover a person or an automobile?What if someone drives your insured car and they have none
If you drive someone's car who has insurance on their car but you don't have any auto insurance and you get in a wreck does their insurance cover it or could you get a ticket ...show more
I lost my wallet and need to replace my drivers license, do I have to have a form of car insurance?
Im in Texas. Also, how much does it usually cost to replace the drivers license?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/uk-car-insurance-us-license-self-maus"
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we-glow-together · 7 years
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(1/^)i feel like im losing my mind rn, or well, for the last couple of months. mod angel might remember asks similar to this but im so desperate rn im sorry. ive been hearing my abusers voice in my ear and ive seen him around every corner, at this point every face is his. i have to see him every other day at school n things started getting better n i was able to cope but his girlfriend recently left him and hes trying to reach out to me again even tho i have him blocked on every social platform
“i have to see him every other day at school n things started getting better n i was able to cope but his girlfriend recently left him and hes trying to reach out to me again even tho i have him blocked on every social platform i have so its not like he can anyway. during our relationship/friendship he would kinda use his gf against me? like tell me how pretty she was and skinny and funny even tho he knew i was in love with him. but now that theyve split theres that small part of me going "we have another chance!!" even though ik thats wrong thinking and i dont want to get hurt again. but i just want everything to stop. i dont want to hear his voice anymore. i dont want to remember what he did to me.  i dont want to love him or miss him. and i sure as hell dont want to see him again, hallucinations or not. last night my mind wouldnt leave me alone so i relapsed. i havent relapsed in over a year and its all his fucking fault. i just want to die so badly but im too much of a fucking coward i hate this so much. i cant even get help bc ive tried!! my family thinks its nothing, they dont even know what ive done to myself haha, and they wont get me meds or a therapist -i feel theres honestly nothing i can do, nothing. i cant die, i cant get help, and i dont even want to fucking live lol. im sorry theres so many of these, but im done now"
Mod Monster here,It's very common when you've been abused to experience a lot of delusions about your abuser. Personally, I would have dreams about my abuser a lot and I couldn't stand to be around older men for quite some time. That being said, with what I can glean here, it sounds like he's really affected you and you have not had a real chance to get away, so I know it must be hard for you to recover and heal especially when you've only had to depend on yourself in person to heal. It's also very common to want to be near your abuser in some situations, especially when they've intentionally manipulated your feelings that were once positive for them. It's okay to feel this way, it's normal for someone who's gone through what you have, including the hurt he's caused by his abuse and his emotional manipulation (bringing up his feelings for his gf when he knows it hurt you at one time). I promise, you will get away from your abuser one day and you will heal. Healing takes time and it's okay to still being feeling and hurting about your abuse and abuser.
Moving forward, I'm so, so proud of you for getting as far as you have before you relapsed. Relapses, in my opinion, are a slide back, sure, but you have fought so long and you've been so strong, and you still are. Sometimes, it's okay to admit that the world was too hard. The best thing you can do right now is pat yourself on the back, forgive yourself, and start again. I think we both know that suicide is not the best option, and you are not cowardly for not doing it. It's not an option, and it won't ever be an option. We won't focus on that right now, because I think it's clear you, on some level know this.
I know the most clear options for you (medication, therapist, your parents) have not panned out the way you have expected and it's okay to feel hurt or disappointed, but I promise you, you always have options. You can continue to talk to us, and you can always come to me privately if you want (even if you want to make a throwaway tumblr or add me on skype, discord, etc. I work a lot but I'll try to be available as best I can). Alongside that, there are some free therapy options out there if you just want to talk it out. (7cups is one I can think of off of the top of my head) If you're still in public school, maybe talk to a counselour privately when you get the chance. They may have some options for you or may be able to talk some sense into your family about how serious this is.
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