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I genuinely think that any change in behavior starts w telling yourself that your worst days, worst performances, just worst moments in general aren’t who you “truly are.” It’s all about unlearning any thought process that essentially chalks up traits you aren’t proud of to “this is who I really am” “in reality I’m lazy” “in reality I’m just a bad person” bc not only is that never true, but it impedes your efforts to try to do better as well. Anything we struggle with has roots in things like childhood trauma, thoughts you’ve been fed before, your upbringing…. but never that you’re inherently a bad person. What I’m learning this year is that a lot of us doing better & being better & improving really comes down to self-talk—to disavowing the very notion that deep down we’re simply bad.
#Bc how do you work on “this is who I am”#It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy#If you keep telling yourself this is just who you are then every time you improve you’ll feel cognitive dissonance and self-sabotage#It’s important to operate not from “this is who I am” but from “this is what I’ve been nurtured to be but I can change that”
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Cognitive Techniques To Change Your Thoughts ✨✨
Cognitive techniques are strategies used in cognitive therapy to help you identify and change negative thoughts and beliefs. These techniques should be practiced regularly so that they become habits.
Cognitive Restructuring: This involves identifying and challenging negative or irrational thoughts and replacing them with more positive or rational beliefs.
Thought Stopping: When you notice a negative thought entering your mind, you can mentally shout "Stop!" This interrupts the thought process and gives you a chance to replace the negative thought with a positive one.
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. When you observe your thoughts without judgment, you gain insight into negative patterns and choose to let them go.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can help you process and analyze them. With time you can identify patterns and work on changing negative thought cycles.
Positive Affirmations: Repeating positive statements can help counteract negative self talk and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
Evidence Collection: When faced with a negative belief, ask yourself, "What evidence do I have that supports or refutes this thought?" This can help you see things in a more balanced way.
Decatastrophizing: If you tend to imagine the worst scenario, ask yourself how likely it is to happen and what other possible outcomes there might be. This can help you view situations more realistically.
Labeling: Instead of saying "I am a failure," label the thought as "a negative thought about my abilities."
Distraction: Engaging in an activity or hobby can divert your attention from negative thoughts and give your mind a break.
Scheduling Worry Time: Instead of ruminating on worries throughout the day, set aside a specific time to process them. This can prevent constant worry and allow you to focus on other tasks.
Challenging Cognitive Distortions: Recognize and challenge cognitive distortions like black-and-white thinking, overgeneralization, and personalization.
Visual Imagery: Visualize a place or situation where you feel calm and happy. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts.
These are very simple descriptions and examples of cognitive techniques. I listed the ones we can put into practice on our own. There are more in depth methods and practices used by doctors on different fields of study and practice. I can list, as well as add upon the information listed here.
#cognitive science#cognitive behavioral therapy#psychology#personal improvement#personal development#personal growth#self help#self improvement#self care#limiting beliefs#positive mindset#affirmations
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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#thoughts#spilled thoughts#emotions#emotional intelligence#cognitive behavioral therapy#self help#self improvement#self therapy#therapy#mental health#positivity#black moodboard#aesthetic#black girl luxury#black tumblr#therapyforblackwomen
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How I Deal with Tough Days When My Brain Won't Let Me Work
We all have those days where productivity feels impossible. It’s like no matter what we do, we just can’t seem to get started. I’ve come to realize that, for me, these days aren’t just about laziness or lack of motivation—it’s more complex. When I procrastinate, it’s often my creative brain, or what I like to call my “inner child,” throwing a tantrum.
Step 1: Understanding the Procrastination
The first thing I do is pause and try to understand what I’m running away from. Is it the overwhelming amount of work? In that case, I break it down into smaller, manageable bits. When the material feels boring, I add some fun—by creating colorful and funny interpretations of definitions or concepts. I turn words into weird characters, almost like a cartoon in my mind. Sometimes, I’ll turn it into a game, like seeing how many questions I can get right, or even trying new study techniques like rewriting a sentence or reading it out loud.
I find that when I’m bored, it’s a perfect opportunity to experiment. I might try drawing funny sketches of the material or use quirky interpretations to make it more interesting. The key is that I have to figure out what’s causing the procrastination—is it fear, perfectionism, or just the sheer volume of work?
Step 2: Naming My Inner Child
Once I understand what’s happening, I like to give my inner child a friendly name. This helps me communicate with it when things get tough. Every time I mess something up and feel like quitting, I know that it’s just my inner child reacting to the idea of perfectionism. Naming it makes it less scary, and I feel more in control of the situation.
A perfect example would be the time I noticed that my inner child shows up in my skincare routine, but not because I’m lazy—it's because I feel unmotivated when I don’t have enough of those colorful, trendy products, like the ones all over TikTok. You know, the Drunk Elephant skincare, with its fun packaging that every influencer seems to have. It taps into the same idea as “Sephora kids,” where even as adults, we’re drawn to overconsumption of things we don’t actually need, just because they’re colorful or trendy or aesthetically pleasing.
But I’ve realized that I don’t need fancy, colorful products to wash my face before bed. My inner child might crave those items, but recognizing that helps me let go of the unnecessary pressure to follow trends. I focus on the routine itself, rather than what’s missing from my shelf.
Step 3: Clearing the Distractions
Next, I clear my desk. Anything that’s not a school supply or a tool I need for work can be a distraction, especially if it’s colorful or unrelated to my task. I set a 5-minute timer and start working, just to show my inner child that it’s really not that scary. Once the timer’s up, I double it, taking short breathers in between. I repeat this until I feel like I’ve done enough for the day.
Step 4: Knowing When Enough Is Enough
After a certain point, I trust my own judgment. I ask myself honestly, “Is this enough for today?” If I feel like I’ve given it my best shot, I let go of the need to do more. I accept that some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. The important thing is that I’m not fighting my inner child, but working with it.
It’s a simple process, but it’s effective. Instead of battling myself, I’ve learned to communicate with that part of me that gets overwhelmed, bored, or perfectionistic. By understanding and breaking things down, I can get through even the toughest days without feeling like I need to drop everything.
P.S.: I’ve struggled to stay productive most of my life, and a part of that was because I didn’t grow up in one of those aesthetically pleasing, western-style homes you always see on social media. I live in the Balkans, and my bedroom looked nothing like that. It wasn’t perfectly curated or full of trendy decor, but over time, I grew to love my culture and my surroundings. Even though I wasn’t the richest or living the most "aesthetic" lifestyle, I’ve learned that what I have is enough, and it doesn’t define my ability to be productive or happy.
#productivity#productive#100 days of productivity#girlblogging#discipline#aesthetic#femininity#self care#self development#self help#self improvement#street style#bedroom#balkan#study blog#study motivation#student#studyspo#study aesthetic#study tips#study time#study#skincare#girl blogger#david goggins#psychology#cognitive#deep thoughts#ranting#study hacks
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Life is like a wall that you have to climb.
Some people are born with helicopters.
Other people have to climb from the bottom themselves.
Some people don't even have rock climbing equipment.
You can spend your time looking up at the people in airplanes and helicopters, envying them.
But you won't move any where.
They have their own problems. They crash into each other.
Or you can destroy the wall. Take it down and everyone else around you.
You're still at the bottom.
Or you can focus on where you are.
On where you want to go, and start climbing.
Maybe you'll collect some gear on the way. You'll see some nice views too.
If you rush, you're just gonna fall.
Take your time. Be in the moment. Be kind. Do your own thing. And live.
Love to all 🫶
#quotes#words#life#perspective#self care#self love#self growth#self worth#spirituality#positive#positivity#self esteem#affirmations#cognitive dissonance#faith#awareness#climb#self expression#spiritual#deep quotes#positive quotes#life quotes#quote#quoteoftheday#life quote#my words#love#growth#self improvement#life lessons
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...and the pendulum swings
Liked the wrong tweet, voted for the wrong candidate, praised the wrong movie, had the wrong opinion about Black Lives Matter, had a bad date, wore the wrong Halloween costume, and that was it. If you defended someone who wore “blackface” on Halloween once, you are a convicted racist, and you must apologize profusely or lose your job, sometimes both.
Who gets to stay and who has to go has been the sick little game we’ve all been playing, like we’re trapped in an episode of the Twilight Zone and are one wrong opinion away from being wished into the cornfield.
You, too, can now be humiliated in the public square. You can get your name on a list. You can get fired or not hired. Who would want a little monster like you on their team anyway? Not I, said the fly. Not me, said the bee.
Here we are, stuck with hundreds of thousands of young people graduating our universities who do not understand the difference between terrorism and war. So, who is teaching these kids?
These students didn’t “make anti-Israel statements.” They blamed Israel for the slaughter, suggesting it was justified. That’s like saying the Columbine or Newtown massacres were justified because the shooters had been bullied.
Or that the Manson murders were justified because Charles Manson had been treated so poorly. Or that the mass murder of children in the daycare center at the Oklahoma City Federal Building was justified because of what our government did to David Koresh.
Would you want someone working for you who said Hitler had a point in his mass genocide against the Jews because the United States did not deliver on its promise to help rebuild Germany after WWI?
Let this moment serve as a reality check and a warning to those naive young students that there is a difference between criticizing Israel, even protesting its war on Gaza, and justifying what Hamas did in Israel. Ignorance is no excuse. If your news is failing you, then find better news. Do the work. Educate yourself, as the kids like to say.
[...]
Welcome to the real world, kids. Remember all those “consequences” you’ve been shrieking about? Well, here they are! Come and get ‘em while they’re piping hot.
#awareness#personal development#mindset#israel#gaza#genocide#israel palestine conflict#consciousness#cognitive bias#free your mind#pro palestine#stop terrorism#cancel culture#doxing#doxxing#self improvement#reflection#healing#reality check#responsibility#spilled thoughts#campus protests#antisemitism on campus#queued post
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i desperately need to be able to save scum real life. let me save before i nap and then reload if i have bad rng and oversleep
#sleep improves memory concentration and cognition and lowers cortisol and inflammation so if it's balanced appropriately with study time#it would give me more of a stat boost than the equivalent amount of cramming#but the threat of oversleeping is too scary. hate this.
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I have the urge to finally write my ideas down about my stupid elves as a pastime. Unfortunately my thought process and reading comprehension is shredded cheese and I only have ideas involving random scenes.
#I think I'm dropping out of school tbh ):#Not pleased about my program going in a different direction than what I was paying for.#And I doubt my mental health/cognition is going to improve in a month.#There's an art program nearby that's a bit better than what my current understaffed university offers. But I might have to move.#And I need to get it together before I have the capacity to do that
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sometimes i wish i could turn off the logistical and evaluative parts of my brain because it isn’t necessary to make analyses everywhere i go
#rambles.#my mutual doesn’t need a reduction#that man in the grocery store doesn’t need me to apply a cognitive attribution based on my 10 second observation#😭😭#sorry. i’m journaling about needed areas of improvement LOL#i’m hyper aware of my incessant need to create and reference frameworks#the challenge is figuring out how to ✨stop✨
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Ways emotional abuse has affected me physically/mentally as a woman:
10/18/24
When I was talking to these toxic men, I was NOT aware of emotional abuse. My dad always gave me tough love growing up, so I guess I mistook all my exes criticism as “helping me” but it was actually taring me down 😨
I was depressed AND suicidal the whole time I was talking to these men and my recent ex, Andrew, especially made me believe I HAD ISSUES. I honestly believed I was mentally unwell and thought Andrew was the “normal” one accept loving him was soooooo frustrating and difficult. There was sweet moments often of “hey baby 😘 how is your day?” Buuuuuut I mean, most the time I felt he was distant and I couldn’t seem to get any closer with him. Prior to Andrew, I dealt with Cody who I believed just had major trust issues and so I was trying to force him to trust me basically working so hard to make him feel safe with me but NOTHING changed him.
Okay also during that time, I’m unknowingly seeking their approval and stressing so much about being “pretty enough” or “hot” 🥴 I mean, these men charmed me and I thought they were the hottest guys I had ever laid eyes on. Of course I want to impress them 😝 Soo…. I wear soo much makeup and half way through the relationship with Andrew, found myself wearing BLACK EYESHADOW! Straight up black and I would try to blend it with grey so I had a Smokey eye but I understand now the ONLY real reason I was doing that is cuz of how depressed I was in dating Andrew. A dear lady I know said to me at one point, “Sweetie, you don’t need all that black eye makeup. You’re too pretty!” Awwwww 🥺🥺🥺🙏🏻❤️🩹 I didn’t realize why I was doing that back then….
Cody ghosted me which really put me in a dark place and then Andrew was making me straight up miserable until I got away from him. Andrew put me through sooooooo much frustration and disappointment. Countless empty promises!!! Sooo now I’m desperately suicidal and tired of life. I prayed to God and decided to change myself completely. Not quite 2 years after I’m away from Andrew and married to someone else, suddenly I can’t wear makeup at all 😳 my eyes break out with scales every time I try eyeshadow and even my lips swell with lipstick. NOW, I do have very sensitive skin but I never had struggled with makeup before 😣 was so frustrating!
I had NO idea my exes were abusive and that’s why I felt so bad from them. The heartbreak from Andrew wouldn’t seem to go away plus I could not stop obsessing in my brain over intrusive thoughts of Andrew. However, I went full blown into church and God. I mean I was extreme because it was desperate not to hurt from my exes anymore. Not understanding there was emotional pain and trauma! I had been numb after Cody but could not understand it. When I met my husband, was like a pause on everything as all my focus was on meeting him but after marriage and we settled into our house, NOW notice something is truly wrong cuz I feel majorly disconnected in my relationships. Especially to my husband. 😔🙏🏻
At some point communication is hard in my marriage and I focus on church. I can’t wear makeup so I throw it all away, even my nail polish ❤️🩹 it’s as if I I want nothing to do with my appearance. I saw I started losing hair AND I started having stomach issues as lost so much weight. Had sores often on my body and I just stress none stop!!!! I had NO idea I was trying to get out of flight or fight mode. No one told me I had unhealed trauma. I learned about emotional abuse FINALLY and STILL don’t understand I have wounds to heal. I try to get myself back, even try makeup again and stress all over again with my appearance.
I have had mood swings, hot flashes, chills, stomach/digestive issues, came out of the brain fog eventually but often my short term isn’t as great as my long term memory so I make A LOT of reminders on my phone just in case…. I’ve had bruises randomly all over my legs. I fell off a ladder cuz I wasn’t as stable as I use to be. I’m more careful now. Been through stages of both grief and trauma bond!! Also, found myself needing perfection within myself or I beat myself up. 😳 Negative thinking about myself and putting myself down…. ALL fixable things that I’ve been working through now that I know. Worst of all, CRAZY eating disorders. One minute I want nothing to eat and then suddenly I’m soooo hungry I’m shoving food down my neck ☹️ BUT I have learned to start my day off with plenty of protein and vitamins 👍🏻😩 (magnesium for digestion. Make sure it’s magnesium citrate or else you’ll be sleepy)
Lack of energy and just sadness often wake up extremely sad BUT I’m trying to give myself compassion and love. I’ve tried to balance out my life between superficial and spirituality!! It’s not a perfect walk but I’m not giving up ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🙏🏻🥺
#emotional abuse#emotional wounds#betrayal trauma#healing journal#healing journey#mental health#well being#healing process#emotional barriers#my story#unpacking#self awareness#heartbreak#online relationships#healing from trauma#trauma bonding#cognitive dissonance#self improvement#self help#toxic relationship#ghosted#personal#SoundCloud
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Stop playing the blame game.
#cognitive behavioral therapy#self actualization#self care#self help#self improvement#self worth#self ship#self love
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Trauma is embedded within the body and ingrained in the brain. For lasting change, create strategies that address both the physical and mental aspects of trauma.
Physical Therapies:
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Leverages bodily sensations to navigate through trauma.
Yoga: Boosts bodily mindfulness and alleviates stress.
Somatic Experiencing: Helps discharge trauma-induced physical tension.
Tai Chi: Enhances equilibrium through deliberate movements.
Massage Therapy: Facilitates emotional liberation through easing muscle tightness.
Acupuncture: Activates the body's healing spots.
Craniosacral Therapy: Eases stress through soft manipulations of the skull and spine.
Breathwork: Employs breathing techniques for better physical and psychological well-being.
Dance Movement Therapy: Merges emotional expression with physical activity.
Mental Therapies:
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Bridges the gap between mental impacts and bodily reactions.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Aids in memory processing through eye movements.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Aims to transform harmful thought patterns.
IFS (Internal Family Systems): Promotes healing within different parts of the psyche.
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming): Modifies behavior via language and thought patterns.
Neurofeedback: Boosts brain activity for better function.
MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy): Combines mindfulness practices with cognitive therapeutic techniques.
Psychodynamic Therapy: Investigates the influence of past experiences.
Narrative Therapy: Helps individuals reframe their life stories.
Please remember that I am not a therapist. Speaking to a professional will help you figure out what course of action is better for you.
#mental health#emotional intelligence#mental wellness#health and wellness#cognitive behavioral therapy#self help#self improvement#self love#self awareness#self reflection#healing#feelings#personal improvement#personal development
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ok that was a new one
#trying to fall asleep half falling asleep and then instantly waking up in a cosmically dissociative state#that was not ok. it can't start happening to me without an adverse reaction to treatment ...#i can't remember when the other time in my life i experience a similar thing was....#one part of the brain fully awake but an entire other part still asleep and the rest conscious without it (NOT supposed to happen)#hellish stuff maan not ok not ok#i looked at my hands and recognized and understood them... but also recognized and understood the arbitrariness of their shape and number#and of the form of my mind and perception and place in time and errything.#cmon man you're only supposed to do that to people on random drugs not overstressed ppeople tryin to frickin sleep 😭#fuckin worst anxiety attack in a long LONG while fuckin hell.#i had to walk and wait for the rest of my brain to wake up and start perceiving so i could fuckin have the rest of my human context back#like where do you even hide man when the rest of your mind isn't there to run back to. it's like being stripped under the eye of sauron#the zones of my brain are too frickin detached and desynchronized i need to be neurologically sewn back together#i experienced temporary (~hourlong in ebbs and waves) broca's aphasia at treatment the other week. wild. and not ok#im gonna try tms again i think. it wasn't a silver bullet for me but it did help repair my cognition and memory and coherency for a bit...#til i lost it again at least#i miss josette. i played her game when rising on the brief crest of tms before my exhaustion started outweighing the few improvements#I'll revisit josette and sedona blue if i do that treatment again. J1 is too much of a slog to replay but J2 is a timeless precious gem#tms is so painful though it shocks my neuralgia#but im desperate i guess#ahahaahhh i need helppp. i ain bin this screwed since 2020 i think
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New Chapters
Haiii,
So, I finally caved and started this blog. Welcome to SuccessBlueprints—where I try to figure out how to get my life together while juggling this whole self-improvement thing… all while drowning in STEM life. Honestly, the name’s a bit cliché, but I guess that’s kind of fitting. I’ve been struggling with productivity and discipline for what feels like forever, and I’m over trying to pretend I’ve got it all figured out. This is my space to just be real about it.
You know those people who seem to have life on lock? They wake up at 5 AM, knock out a workout, meditate, journal, and somehow manage to conquer the world by lunchtime? Yeah, that’s not me. Most days, I’m just trying to keep my head above water with classes, labs, and deadlines that come at me like a tidal wave. And the worst part? That nagging feeling like I’m constantly failing because I’m not that person. STEM is no joke, and sometimes it feels like I’m on this never-ending hamster wheel of expectations, falling short, and guilt-tripping myself.
But here’s the thing—I’m tired of chasing this perfect version of myself that doesn’t even exist. So, SuccessBlueprints is not going to be about being perfect. It’s about the messy, slow, frustrating grind of making actual progress. I’m not here to preach some cookie-cutter “10 steps to success” nonsense or act like I’ve got it all figured out. I’m here to rant, share what’s working for me (or what’s not), and just be real about how hard it is to balance everything without completely losing it.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing at adulting or like you’re stuck in this loop of “shoulds” and “coulds,” then welcome to the club. We’re all just trying to figure it out. I’ll be dropping some tips, celebrating the tiny victories, and probably ranting about my many failures. This is a space for real talk, not judgment.
#100 days of productivity#producitivty#discipline#cognitive#adhd#girlblogging#aesthetic#self love#self care#self improvement#self development#ranting
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honestly i can't deal with the brain power needed to decide what to eat every day... like i can eat pretty much anything but i don't even want to go to restaurants because i still have to CHOOSE what to eat. every time!!! i thrive with a canteen in life and ive not got any of those any longer 😭
#imagine canteen breakfast lunch dinner? girl. blessed. the cognitive load id immediately get rid of#idc about quality of the food the quality of life would improve it immensely
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