Welt: You're a loose cannon, Stelle.
Stelle: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
March 7th: I think you play by your own rules.
Dan Heng: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
Dan Heng: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Stelle: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Caelus is a loose cannon.
Caelus: *smashes a chair*
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Alex: Kara? What's wrong? You look like you're about to cry.
Kara: No, nothing. It's just... something that happened with Lena.
Alex: What did she do? Is she evil after all? Did she cheat on you? Do I need to kill her??
Kara: *sniffling* She just- she-
Alex: Woah, hey it's okay. Take a breath, then tell me what happened.
Kara: We were baking a cake for when Ruby and Sam come to visit. Everything was going great, we were having so much fun, and then I turned round and saw it...
Alex: You saw WHAT Kara???
Kara: The bowl! In the sink! Full of water!
Kara: I'd maybe have understood if she'd scraped it out herself rather than sharing it with me, but she didn't even eat it! She just... washed it up.
Kara: All that lovely cake batter, washed away down the drain like it was nothing. I'm not sure I can ever see her quite the same way after this.
Alex:
Alex: ...you eat the raw cake mix?
Kara: *clutching her heart dramatically* ET TU BRUTE?!
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Smiling Critters incorrect quotes
Dogday: What is the code etomologists use for "I stepped on it, I'm so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small?"
Bubba Bubbaphant: "Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions."
Catnap: "Impromptu dissection" is an alarming phrase in any context and I thank you for it.
KickinChickin: What’s biologist for "the little f⭐️cker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex?"
Bubba Bubbaphant: "The specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses."
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hoppy Hopscotch: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
KickinChickin: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.
☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
Hoppy Hopscotch: Nothing in life is free.
Bobby Bearhug: Love is free.
Bubba Bubbaphant: Knowledge is free.
Craftycorn: Friendship is free.
Dogday: Self-respect is free.
KickinChickin: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.
The Squad: ...
PickyPiggy: Kickin, that's illegal-
Hoppy Hopscotch: No, let him finish!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Bubba Bubbaphant: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Are you calling me short?
Bubba Bubbaphant: I'm calling you vertically challenged.
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
KickinChickin: You have Crayons?
Craftycorn: Yes, I have—
KickinChickin: You're— how old are you?
Craftycorn (in tears): YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨
PickyPiggy: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?
Catnap: I accidentally fell down.
Bubba Bubbaphant: CATNAP PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HIS part of our rent!
Dogday: Catnap bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.
KickinChickin: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Dogday.
💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡
Dogday: I love you.
Catnap: How many people have you said that to?
Dogday: Everyone.
Catnap: What?
Dogday: I told everyone that I love you.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
Craftycorn: Why does Picky always do the laundry so loudly?
Bobby Bearhug: So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house.
PickyPiggy, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*
🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎
PickyPiggy: So Hunny-bunny, how did your first time cooking dinner go?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Pretty good if I do say so myself.
PickyPiggy: Oo! Okay, what are we having?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.
PickyPiggy: A whole potato?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!
PickyPiggy: These just look like big slabs of black.
Hoppy Hopscotch: Because that's what they are!
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for desert, we have chocolate.
PickyPiggy: These are just chocolate chips?
Hoppy Hopscotch: They sure are!
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for drinks, we have toast!
Hoppy Hopscotch: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!
🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻
KickinChickin: I have a plan.
PickyPiggy: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.
KickinChickin: …
PickyPiggy: …
KickinChickin: I no longer have a plan.
🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶
PickyPiggy: why can’t any of y’all ever come up with a plan that doesn’t involve breaking the law?
Bubba Bubbaphant (awkwardly looking over at KickinChickin and Hoppy Hopscotch): Picky…You do realize that three of us have been to prison before, right?
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KickinChickin: Have I ever told you that I love you like the mom I never had?
PickyPiggy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
KickinChickin: Mean.
🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰
Hoppy Hopscotch: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
PickyPiggy:
Hoppy Hopscotch: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
PickyPiggy: Hmf! 'Sorry' ain’t never gonna bring back my f🍎cking M&Ms.
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
Bubba Bubbaphant: What do we think of Dogday?
*pause*
Hoppy Hopscotch: *shrugs* Nice pal.
Bobby Bearhug: I think he’s gay.
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
KickinChickin: That was so hot, Bubba.
Bubba Bubbaphant: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
KickinChickin: I'm so in love with you.
🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱
KickinChickin: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...
Catnap: Only as their rodeo clown.
🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
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Luke: *is trans, has a trans wife, looking at a positive pregnancy test*
Din: *just trying to drop his kid off for preschool* Oh? Why are those clones arguing in your office?
Luke: Those are my uncles. They’re talking to my Uncle Ben’s force ghost to try and get his remedy for Stewjoni morning sickness tea, since I can’t hold anything down right now. Leia thought it was funny and took a pregnancy test too and both of them are positive. She’s annoyed because she just got her milk to dry up.
Din: …oh my god…
Luke: I know. It’s a fucking mess over here, I don’t blame you for skipping out early-
Din: Oh my god I need to leave before I catch it too.
Luke: Ummmm to be fair, both me and my sister have the parts-
Din: I do too.
Luke: …okay. Yeah. You might wanna leave before the force decides it would be funny to make your implant fail.
Din: Karking manda ossik- Grogu, come give Buir a hug before he leaves!
Luke: *looking through his office window where Cody and Rex are arguing with Uncle Ben, deep sigh, gags a little at the feeling* his morning sickness tea better work.
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Text:
Legend: I don't always remember what people have said and done to me in the past.
Legend: But I do remember how they made me feel.
Legend: And where they live.
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Here is the result of the poll! There are so many pyromaniac Links in the group that I had a hard time deciding who would be the best for this bit. Thank you everyone for helping me out! I was honestly surprised to hear that Legend blowing up someone's house was canon. You learn new things every day!
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Bonus comic for our second and third place winners.
Have a great day everyone!
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