#is NOT the same thing as playing a tiktok on loop for two minutes in a public space bc you just don’t care

[jonathanstims]

wow wow wow one of the people I live with just compared peaceful protest with playing music out loud in public. as a gotcha for a statement of mine.

[miaountainmama]

silent

characters: tecchou, gn!reader contains: suicide mention but things turn out alright for both of you

wc: 1261

a/n: inspired by radiohead's exit music (for a film) and that one time during lockdown when i got really depressed and realized i understood why people kill themselves. was going through it

If there was one thing you did and did well, it was sing.

Tecchou was used to it by now— coming home at night to hear you blasting your favorites and singing along, whether it was to oldies like Frank Sinatra or some random ass TikTok sound you couldn’t get out of your head.

But the house had been worryingly silent as of recently, and Tecchou was starting to take notice.

He could sense the change in you, ever since you told him the meds weren’t quite working yet. You were singing less and less, and when you did sing along to something, it was something worryingly depressing, something with lyrics that scared the living shit out of him. He tried to ignore it, he really did. He told himself you were just venting your frustrations, that it was just words someone else had written down. Still, he could hear the melody replaying over and over again in his head, your haunting voice sending chills down his spine. If this is what your voice held in store for him, he didn’t want to hear it.

He didn’t want to hear you talk about killing yourself ever again, even in song.

There was a chill in the air tonight, and, while Tecchou normally welcomed the colder air, this time it bit to the bone. It was an unnatural kind of cold, the same kind of cold that reached into the night and froze anything, the same kind that ushered the living indiscriminately down the Styx. His footsteps quickened against the freezing concrete sidewalk— he would be glad to escape the bleak conditions. He turned the corner and welcomed the sight of the familiar house up the way, already eager to see you again.

He got about halfway up the driveway before he realized the lights weren’t on.

This wasn’t entirely uncommon. A lot of times you fell asleep early, or you just felt like chilling in the dark when you were alone. Today? It felt like a premonition. As excited as he was to get home, he now suddenly felt very, very hesitant to open the door.

He lingered for a little while longer on the doorstep, heart beating out of his chest for reasons he couldn’t quite discern. Perhaps he was overreacting. It was just the lights… this was normal, right?

Right.

He inserted the key into the lock and twisted, almost wincing as the creak of the door cut into the quiet air.

“…My love?” he called into the stillness, faltering as he stepped through the threshold and heard no response. You were always home at this hour, so why?

Tecchou moved further into the house, flipping the lights on and setting his hat down on the kitchen counter. He called out again, the festering dread in his stomach churning. No response. Maybe you were in the bedroom…?

As he approached the room, the first signs of life hit his ears— the sound of music! The dread began to fade, though he frowned in distaste as he realized what song was playing. It was the end of that accursed song you were always listening to about suicide. He sighed minutely, reaching out to enter the room so he could kiss you better and tell you to change the music.

The door swung inward, catching on an empty bottle of pills that spun and rolled away upon impact. The song, finally ended, began to replay, having been set on loop.

It took a second for Tecchou to realize exactly what that could mean. The moment it hit him, he immediately tore his widened eyes from the pill bottle, panic clawing through his veins, and strode in two strong steps towards the side of the bed, where your figure lay covered in blankets, tearing them aside and revealing where you lay curled in a ball, eyes closed.

Your eyes sprung open as the warmth was torn from you, cursing under your breath as you turned away from the wall to face Tecchou.

“What the hell—“ you began, ready to hiss at your boyfriend for interrupting your brooding, before you took in the expression on his face. 

For the first time ever since you had met him, Tecchou looked terrified.

Your lips parted slightly in surprise, and you blinked at him stupidly for a moment, wondering what on earth had him so worked up. Then, he was on you, hands cupping your face, turning your wrists up towards him, checking every inch of you despite your sputtered protests, and you connected the dots. The empty pill bottle you had knocked over earlier and were too lazy to pick up. The depressing music. Your lack of response and limp body.

God, your boyfriend had thought you tried to kill yourself.

“Tecchou,” you managed, suddenly feeling extraordinarily guilty, and the feeling only increased as he looked up at you with worried amber eyes. “I’m fine. I just ran out of meds today. I need to pick new ones up tomorrow.”

He stared at you for a moment, you staring back, before he let out a shaky breath, scooping you up into his arms. You didn’t fight it, clinging tightly to him back, and you muttered out apologies, trying to soothe his anxieties.

“I… thought you had…” Tecchou spoke, and you shook your head from where it was buried in the crook of his neck. You vaguely took in the fact that his hands were slightly shaking around you.

“‘m sorry, Tecchou… I was just… really going through it today,” you managed meekly, one hand going up to thread through his hair. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He didn’t answer for a long while, just holding you, and you listened to his breath finally stabilize. You toyed with the ends of his locks as you waited for his hands to stop shaking, pressing a kiss to his jaw to reassure him further. Somewhere down the line the depressing song you had been listening to looped for the umpteenth time and you hastily turned it off, electing to sit with him in silence and not worry him further.

Eventually, he pulled back from you, an unusually serious glimmer in his eyes as he looked into yours. 

“Promise me,” he said suddenly, and you shifted a little as the words sunk in, looking away. Promises were hard to keep in times like these.

“Promise me you’ll keep trying,” he modified his words, and you slowly nodded through your hesitation. This… this was something you could do.

“Okay,” you breathed, hands moving back to sit in your lap, where you fidgeted with them quietly. “I promise.” You reached up then, holding your hand out to him, and extended your pinky towards him. He looked down at it quizzically before glancing back up at you, and the most minute of smiles graced your features.

“I pinky swear,” you said solemnly, and he stared for a second before smiling slightly back, interlocking his finger with yours.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he warned, and you pulled him close again, resting in his arms with a newfound sense of satisfaction. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head in response, and you smiled a real, genuine smile, the first in what felt like days.

“Of course,” you replied, and nestled closer to him. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and you laid your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat by your ear. You would do it. You would overcome this.

If not for you, then for him.

[azulera]

Hello TikTok

Pairing: Marcus Rashford x Black Reader

Summary: Marcus joins TikTok, and you share your thoughts on his first post.

Notes: I wrote this a while ago and it was inspired by the first vid he posted on tiktok which I laughed at for days. He is such a dork (I'm in l*ve with him)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sudden notification to your phone was unexpected, not because of the app it came from, but because Marcus’ name was attached to it. Settling deeper into the corner of the couch, you opened the link to the TikTok video and let it play.

The background was dark, and the footage was slightly grainy, but clearly showed Marcus in a black hoodie, kicking about in a nondescript patch of grass. There was a row of streetlamps behind him, but no eye-catching edits, background music or even TikTok sounds underlying the recording, only the rubbery whack of the ball against his trainers as he bounced it off them and up in the air. After a few moments, the ball flew from his feet and clattered into the camera.

“Yes, everyone— Marcus Rashford, here.” He suddenly spoke, the phone now in his hand and the camera focused on his face. The cheery, formal tone of his voice mismatched with the dark setting.

“And I am on TikTok.”

The video slowed to a stop with his face still in the frame, and the abrupt ending forced a burst of laughter through your lips. Was that all?

You played the video once more, raising the volume and screen brightness to make sure you’d seen and heard everything. The kick-ups could have been anyone’s suggestion, you thought on the second viewing, but the less-than-perfect lighting and straightforward script had your boyfriend written all over it. Still, you had many, many questions.

“Marcus, when did you post this?”

“Post what?”

He walked in the living room from the kitchen with a protein bar in hand, before plopping down onto the couch. He stretched his long frame out over yours, fitting the curve of your hip into his hand.

“This,” You said, flipping your phone screen for him to see his own face reflected back at him. He smiled softly.

“Oh, the TikTok? Just a minute ago. Go on and like it, though, repost it.” He grabbed for your phone, but you pulled it away, watching the video over again. On the screen, and in real life, you could see how proud he was of his creation.

“And you came up with the idea, then? Knocking the phone over with the ball?”

“Well, yeah. Why?”

“I’m just curious. It’s …” You bit down on your lip. The audio of the video continued playing from your phone in a loop. “You didn’t want to run it by anyone first? Even just me, or like, one of your video editing people?”

His eyebrows furrowed.

“What do you mean? I did run it by my team and them first, before I posted it.”

“And what did they say?”

“They thought it was cool. And funny, like. Wait - why’re you laughin?”

Your body shook lightly where Marcus held it, and you covered your mouth to spare his feelings, and mute the sound. He lifted his head up from your chest, unsure that the two of you were laughing for the same reasons.

“It is cool, innit? Don’t you think it’s cool?”

Words were impossible for a few moments, with your shoulders still vibrating with giggles and breath all but gone.

“You couldn’t have added a song at least?” You asked when air returned to your lungs. “Or some kind of audio, it’s dead silent in the back. And why did you end it like that? You could’ve done an outro or something.”

“But it didn’t need all of that, did it? It were supposed to be a short little thing—“

“Also what is ‘Yes, everyone?’” You continued. Marcus huffed and tried to leave the couch, but you held him close, still laughing as you did. “What are you saying yes to? And the camera angle is giving me uncle, grandpa energy, I can’t even–”

“Okay, okay! Low it.” Marcus sucked his teeth and set his jaw, raising on his forearms above you. “S’not that funny. I mean, it is but, not how you mean. I still rate it. It’s cool.”

He spoke like he meant to convince himself. You stared up at him for a minute, taking in the small rut creasing his forehead, and the near pout on his lips. The video was hilarious, there was no point denying it, but it was so innocent, earnest and slightly dorky – all things you loved about him – and he really was so pleased with his work. Even if your abdomen cramped from laughing, you would never have him change.

“You know what, baby? You’re right. The video is cool.” You pushed your face into his shoulder to try and quell the amusement still threatening to bubble over. “You are so cool. And so funny. Super cool and funny. ”

“Plus, it’s harder than it looks, you know. Aiming the ball like that.” He let his head fall back down to your chest. “And I did it one try.”

“Shhh, I know it is, I know. You are so talented. Come here.” He turned his head away from the half-laugh, half-kisses you attempted to press against his neck, but it only made you try harder.

“It’ll be viral by tomorrow.” He finally grumbled, tossing your phone onto the coffee table and allowing himself to be kissed. Soon he spread his arms to resume the previous cuddle. “You’ll see.”

[shotorozu]

see you again

(inspired by that one tiktok trend that’s based off see you again by tyler the creator and kali uchis)

note(s): it kinda makes more sense if you hear the audio itself, so do listen to the 10 minute loop i linked or else this ain’t making any sense. also yes this is a trend on tiktok 😭 at first it didn’t make sense to me (this is kinda out of nowhere and lowkey a weird concept now that im done writing it 💀) but it kinda does at the same time— so now im making a last minute post for mr. popularity 😁🤩

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki doesn’t understand tiktok trends.

ever since he saw some of the heinously unaware things being posted on the app, he vowed to stay clear from it unless if absolute necessary. (aka if bugged hard enough)

he used to watch reels from time to time (which was a big shocker to you) at least until you pointed out the similarity it had with tiktoks, and since then ditched the concept of watching short videos entirely.

it all seemed like a trick to him— a distraction. not only did he see some blissfully unaware people on that app, but it just felt like people had no concept of digital footprint. (it’d be infuriating if it wasn’t just so sad when he thought about it, actually.)

and— why should he participate in a video that could only get 10 views?

bakugou katsuki doesn’t understand tiktok trends. he might as well never touch the app within a thousand collumns in his appstore.

yet as you sit in front of him, showing him a tiktok trend with an expression that makes him sickly—

he kind of understands.

“y’know, ok ok ok ok is so you, bakugou.”

his face scrunches up when he moves closer to the screen, listening as the audio plays on while two characters representing each side are shown on the screen.

ok ok ok ok

la la la la—

“what the hell does that even mean??” he knows what it means. “how can you tell how a fucking person is an ok ok ok ok person??”

you shrug, “i just know. like… i don’t even have to explain why you’re tyler’s part.”

there’s a beat of silence.

“so what are you?” he questions, curious as to what you have to say. if you even have anything to say. he could tell that other people normally assign archetypes to you— if two repeating letters are archetypes…

damn. he thinks, feeling a sense of unknown sobriety. you got him bad if he can understand some sort of characterization assigned to this little segment of a song.

“la la la la, of course.” you decide, nodding. “well— i could also be ok ok ok ok— who said there couldn’t be two— well, i guess the song…”

you bite down on your lip in thought, and his line of sight immediately follows. “but i think i should be the la la la la to your ok ok ok ok, because—”

his first thought should’ve been what the fuck, that’s so stupid.

but the moment you start explaining, his eyes are locked onto you, catching every syllable and absorbing the obscurity that hangs off your definitions.

he leans forward, nods whenever you make a point. for something so nonsensical yet plain— you talk as if you talk to love, the same way you love to talk about your topics.

“and i rest my case.” he doesn’t realize you’ve reached the end of your spewl until you say it.

he doesn’t wait for you to finish unlike some others and plus. he doesn’t watch the clock or cut in— he listens. and for once, he agrees to something nonsensical yet plain such as this—

well, actually— he let you convince him.

it all slams into him, “fitting.” he grumbles, turning his head away to clear his mind of the images of you talking, so full of life— with him both listening and agreeing at your side.

and that’s when he realized— you were going to be an unstoppable force in his life.

[fineartsjournal]

213341 Art Studio IIIA ⋆ Week 5 - Dire, Dire, Dire...

We find ourselves in the present day. Not for long, I still haven't even covered J Dilla. I have, however, stumbled across these two albums, both from 2023, and both from Brazil, where half my family is.

These being: Mimosa by cabezadenego, Mbé & Leyblack, and Sexto Dos Crias by DJ Ramon Sucesso.

Both these were found browsing RateYourMusic for plunderphonic essentials, to which I was pleasantly surprised to find two Baile Funk albums in the ranks.

I wrote about this for Contextual Studies last semester, so I'll quote myself for the following:

[Baile Funk is] "...a music genre of hiphop and Miami Bass sensibilities that originated from the Rio de Janeiro slums - or favelas - in the early 1990s, with a jumpy, vulgar and generally fun attitude."

This was referring to the album Mimosa in particular, which-

"...uses energetic sampling of Afro-Brazilian music new and old, particular the genre Baile Funk..." "The sampling approach, as well as very straightforward lyricism about gay sex; entails an incredibly danceable musical experience of black queerness in Brazil..."

In an interview with Gabinete last December, group member Luiz Felipe (seen pictured on the album cover) outlined the motives behind Mimosa:

“For me the sample has the function of reframing (?), you recount the history via a new perspective […] I find that the sample has a profound connection with black culture through its principles […] it is based on our very own history. And the sample for me isn’t just in music, it is in the argument; you can sample video, you can sample ideas, you can sample words, the way in which we created this project was entirely sampled.”

Sexta Dos Crias is much the same, with DJ Ramon Sucesso using his DJ controller to zoom across fragments of funk at lightning pace. No sample sticks around for long, instead, you find yourself tumbling between- "...firework-like bursts of classic funk carioca samples, his own productions, mainstream tracks, nonsense TikTok sound bites, and tons of his trademark beat bolha. All contained within an unparalleled, mischievously non-linear rhythmic flow."

Now in working mode for the next presentation, I tinkered around with the Super Mario 64 soundtrack in Audacity until I came across a neat sound.

Sampling the first four notes in the track Dire Dire Docks, I slowed the speed by 95%, and again by another 95%. Doing this required me to segment the piece and individually slow each of the segments, as doing the whole thing at once would cause Audacity to crash.

I then divided the resulting track into a left-ear and light-ear channel, playing at a slight delay to each other, forming a 'panning' effect.

Over this year, I've learned some audible differences in 'slowing' techniques.

A regular 'record' slow lowers both the pitch and tempo at once, sounds clean, and takes very little processing power to perform.

Just shifting the tempo is a little trickier; a low-fidelity tempo slow repeats small sections of the audio every fraction of a second, creating this ssttaaggggeerreedd ssoouunndd.

The high-fidelity version of this sees Audacity artifically 'filling in' these staggered gaps. This results in a stretchy, metallic sound.

A "paulstretch" also doesn't affect the pitch, but drenches any slowing in cavernous reverb.

Here's a little comparison I made:

For this next one, I took the "yahoo!" sound that Mario makes when performing a 'long jump' action in-game, and slowed it using the lo-fi tempo slider, shaved off the latter 8 minutes, and slowed it again; until it was 3 minutes of repeated "ya-" noises; otherwise representing a fraction of a millisecond.

Experimenting further, I added a 'delay', pitch-shifted so that each 'echo' would play at a lower key. Reversing this sound created a turkey-like noise, which I then looped in turn.

I then took the theme from the game's "File Select" menu, again slowing it down to a 20th of its speed. From there, I took the opening fraction-of-a-note and looped it, lowering the key each time to create a jiltery progression.

Press play on both tracks and they... kind of work together!

Ruby, Ariel and I caught up with Mike for a brief talk on materials, which we mapped out to the following:

Then I remembered something cool. Being a fan of Aphex Twin would come in handy eventually - meet SampleBrain.

It was available as a free download on Github.

After loading it up (and convincing my PC that this was not malware), the program looked like this:

I followed the instructions and placed the shorter tracks from the SM64 soundtrack into the "brain contents", and loaded a loop taken from OPN's Zebra into the "target sound".

⚠️ PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOLUME! ⚠️

Will this be my go-to sample-processing unit? Time will tell.

Being the algorithmic hymns of a straightforward piece of software, it gets loud. REALLY quick. Using this software more in my work will require a lot more effort in the mixing department.

𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕒 𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕗 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕖𝕞𝕞𝕒!

I showcased my current project, sketches, different audio methods I'm using (SampleBrain included), as well as playing what I've made so far. This was mainly a catch-up for prodding into my own motives, rather than critiques.

The qualities of Super Mario 64 (SM64) are a hallmark of internet-era nostalgia; and for me, a nostalgia not just from the unreal, but the unlived; to be nostalgic for I game I haven't played, from a time before I was born.

The development of the presentation side of my work following the Week 3 critique came with a need to tear down barriers in audience interaction, remove that digital suspicion that we hold onto through the introduction of the familiar to the modern.

This will be a very 'modern' piece, but I still will be using MP3 players; like a letter symbol on your Gmail app, or a rotary speaker on your Phone icon.

I was listening to the Runescape soundtrack the other day.

It's this fantasy game from the early 2000s that I know jack-shite about, but the music is nice.

Nevertheless, it's clearly evoked a longing for those that grew up playing it, as every comment is reminiscing on lost times.

So I thought - what if I took one of these comments and just... removed any and all reference to Runescape, video games and even music - from it? What is left?

Runescape was, and is not a real place, but these are very real feelings.

[wroteonedad]

I Luv Alternate Bazaar Art

Squashy. Bright. Fluffy. Slimy. Rubber. Latex. Thing. Balloon. Squishy noises. Bouncy. Gravity defying. Weightless. Flying. Slime monster. Surreal. These are all things that come to mind after delving into the content of Jacksonville, Florida based animator Alternate Bazaar Art. There is no public information on the Internet about them, other than they animate some crazy stuff through Blender and that they also run an Etsy store selling some other fun stuff. I came across the stuff by complete accident, it was one of those days where you’ve spent 20 minutes too long scrolling through your TikTok and watching your feed change up because you’ve interacted with something slightly different to what you usually do, then wham bam, I see this one video.

Slimy ginger and white cat completely defies gravity as it falls and bounces down a set of furry pink stairs. The staircase is narrow, the walls are wooden but also plastic looking and the wall is coated with the same image of the pink slimy cat, framed of course. The body of the cat falls in itself as Home by Smash Mouth plays quietly in the background, but not so quiet that you can’t hear the squashing and bouncing noises of the cat. As it hits the floor, the cat folds into itself and becomes a Ditto. The best or worst Pokémon, you decide,

The creator helps to take us to alternate realities and place ourselves into a world with jelly creatures that exist, but don't exist. Perhaps something wacky that we would see in our dreams. Looped into similar surroundings and liminal spaces, it takes you onto a mini adventure that you will either be infatuated by or slightly terrified of.

Whales bounce around under sultry neon pink lights, folding into themselves and once again defying gravity the way in which the pack jump together. Other times, you are taken into what feels like a workshop room or an empty doctors office. You are waiting for your appointment, taking in all of the health and safety posters that surround you. There is a window to your left and you look. A coral reef, a very rare sight to see. A whale pops like a balloon into the room, starts to slide and jump around a bit before disappearing into another hole right in the centre of the room. This just so happens to be that same coral reef, but from a different angle. Wet frogs jump through similar spaces and then back out again through the same centred realm. The stories stay consistent, but so different all at the same time. Next thing you know, you've spent two hours scrolling through this TikTok and you feel as if you've seen every development of every character that has been created, and maybe you have until there is more.

This week, I would like to use this text to just have a sit back and become hypnotised by my favourite artist that I have accidentally stumbled upon, and I hope you all love it too.

undefined

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I wanted to post so many of their TikTok videos on here, but this platform only allows me to add one video from my camera roll per post. However, if you'd like to check out the whole collection, their most active on TikTok or you can see them all on their YouTube Shorts as well.

[tiny-crecher]

Unus Annus Secrets

Here I’m going to try and explain all of the Unus Annus codes + possible lore. If I have forgotten some information or if one of these links doesnt work/is incorrect please let me know. This post will be updated when needed. 

This is LONG, so be prepared. 

At first, these codes were only in videos edited by NerdFiction, but as of October 26th this is no longer true. (The possible exception to this would be the first video I’ve listed, as the editor is not in the description). 

1) 5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death

 “Here at Unus Annus the end is nigh... when the timer hits zero we will cease to exist. is it fate? is this a simulation? Can anybody hear me? My name is.... [FILE REDACTED]”. Timestamp - 0:14

2) Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight

 “and in the comments, you will read the words you soon will see are wise controlling pawns who type our deed ‘That is Discord, not FaceTime’” Timestamp - 0:40

“within this truth a question stands, is the pee sauna ever close?”. [“Pee Sauna”was uploaded about a week afterwards] Timestamp - 0:40

3) Our Fans Try to Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta

“What will happen if the clock stops”

“Could I find a way to keep it going?”

“If neither hand is right, what deals are left?”

“Who is the master of the clock?” (all around 8:44)

4) Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our Youtube Views

“remember the key, the incompletion of a logolept’s corrective action” [a logolept is “a person who takes a keen interest in words”. Marcus is likely referring to himself.] Timestamp - 1:49

“the long wait ends with twenty four more for a path of destiny chosen before”[“Pee Sauna” was uploaded the day after] (closely after the last code)

5) Becoming One With the Horse

“They heard me, I knew it could work!” (timestamp currently unknown; to be updated)

Around this time, NerdFiction’s Twitter bio said, among his normal information, that he was “trying to stop the Unus Annus clock from within.” 

6) Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

“I couldn’t stop it. Will I die with the machine?” (Timestamp - 21:33)

7) Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work?

“freed or so I thought. Another layer, but still the clock.” (Timestamp - 9:45)

“The Beginning of The End”. 

On July 26th, at 12pm PST, a video was uploaded to Unus Annus titled “Traversing the Desert to Find Our Inner Truth”. This video was only up for a few minutes before it mysteriously disappeared, only to be replaced by another video, titled “The Beginning of The End”. At first glance, the videos were identical, save for different titles and slightly different descriptions. However, the second video was slightly longer than the first, and upon further inspection, many came to realize that the audio was slightly different as well. You can listen to both audios here. There was a rumor going around that the captions of “Traversing the Desert to Find Our Inner Truth” said something about looking out for Norbert Moses, but no one has been able to confirm this to my knowledge. 

8) Puberty Simulator

“Happy birthday to the beast or to the body that once housed me. A transfer made for pity’s sake. Tricked into the machine as he had my cake.” (Timestamp - 14:36) [The same code was found a week earlier in “Mark and Ethan Shave Chica”, uploaded on NerdFiction’s birthday. The original code was very difficult to make out, so it is likely he inserted it into a different video to make it easier for us.]

On the same day, NerdFiction’s Twitter bio read “Everyone must leave something behind when he dies. Memento Memoriae” (remember memory)

In “The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couple’s Trend” one of the clips is edited to look like a TikTok video, with the user ron_somberest being used. Ron_Somberest is an anagram for Norbert Moses. This TikTok account does actually exist, and the icon is a zoomed in and brightened photo of Norbert Moses’s face with the eyes scribbled out. 

Around this time NerdFiction’s Twitter bio read “’It’s not dark, never was’ - Ron Bestsmore”. Ron Bestsmore is also an anagram for Norbert Moses. It is possible that the “dark” being referred to here is Darkiplier, and NerdFiction is trying to imply that Dark is not involved in this. 

About a week after the koala challenge video was “How to Start a Fire (except don’t)”, which featured an appearance from Unus. NerdFiction’s Twitter bio read “In the end, who is your savior and what are they saving you from?” 

Things were quiet for about a month. NerdFiction eventually erased the cryptic message from his Twitter bio. 

9) Learning To Use The Force

“wait no something is wrong. he knows!” (Timestamp - 10:45) [translated from small coded words hidden in the montage]

“STOPTHISWHATAREYOUDOINGO3″ (Timestamp - 11:40)

“it worked” (a spectrogram, derived from a sound played at the end of the video)

10) Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

“As I was, as I’ve done to him now. Am I right to decide his fate?” (Timestamp - 5:44) [Right before this, Mark’s mom is talking about a nightmare she had where she was paralyzed, possibly implying that nerdfiction was once paralyzed and has now paralyzed someone else (pointed out by @/minervas-sandwich)]

11) Cryptid Olympics

“I thought you’d join us but, hey, that was just a theory, Memento Doctrina” (remember learning). (Timestamp - 5:49) [The code references the Game Theorists channel, which had uploaded a video about Unus Annus earlier that same day.]

- From here on, every video has had some sort of code -

12) Edward Pumpkin Hands - This was the first coded video not edited by NerdFiction, instead being edited by Diceroll.

At various points throughout the video small parts of a url are seen. When pieced together, this link is made: https://imgur.com/a/tyDewJ7. It leads to a photo of the Unus Annus hourglass. When edited, a series of binary text is shown, which translates to “zhIaNL2“. Inputting this into another imgur link gets you to https://imgur.com/a/zhIaNL2. After editing the photo (although you can still sorta see it without doing so), a cipher of a custom alphabet is shown (I posted an edited photo here).

At 5:01 in the video a weird image is shown for only a moment (a slightly brightened version of it here). Nobody knows what the hell it means.

At the same time, there is a reversed audio of someone (presumably Ethan; it sounds like him) saying “we did that”. For context, the sentence said right before that line was “if one of us dies, the other has to take over for the remainder of time”. This is possibly implying that someone, or multiple someones, has/have died and been replaced.

13) Blood Bath - edited by rad_r

“Everything’s fine”

The Unus Annus timer is shown. It counts down for three seconds before counting up for one second. Heavy breathing can be heard over it. It is then cancelled by an error message

“ITS NOT FINE HELP” (this and the previous two messages are hidden at 5:57)

“you’ve done it now.. a machine observed. there is no returning.. a machine unnerved. there is only.. a machine unconqured.” (right at the end of the video, before the timer)

14) The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest - edited by nerdfiction

“I saw just one door in a hall filled with many, I locked your gate but they were too late to join me. He was re-placed, she was undone, I had escaped yet he had still won”. (Timestamp - 2:05) [possibly talking about diceroll and rad_r. The pronouns would line up, and it would make sense with those two now having edited coded videos.]

15) Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf - edited by rad_r

“futility or farewell? only time time time.” (timestamp - 7:17)

16) Ethan Kidnapped Mark - edited by Diceroll

Two spectrograms are shown in this video; one at 14:08 and one at 17:38. Combined, they create an imgur link: https://imgur.com/a/gKB62sv

The imgur link shows a photo of a key. On the key is a code translating to “stop the clock”

At the end of the video before the timer is a set of text in the custom alphabet previously mentioned. Translated and decoded it translates to “I can hear it coming theres not much time left the ones that tried to stop it have had their hearts cleft it is now your turn to put this loop to rest take us out of here and show us a new nest”

17) Being Brutally Honest with Each Other

“It is alive, no longer living / misunderstood beats unforgiving / escaped that fate but lost the tale / does a hope yet remain or just one final nail?” (Timestamp - 26:03)

18) Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video

“The bottom of the spiral” (timestamp - 10:55)

19) “All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened”

“Be careful for what you wish for” (taken from two different codes)

*20) The Unus Annus Last Supper + Who’s Cutting Onions In Here??? - both edited by rad_r

“We’ve asked... we’ve tried... is there no way to stop the end? To those who aren’t deterred: how much will you sacrifice to ascend?” (A quotefall puzzle, split into 2 parts)

21) Everything’s Legal If You’re Dead

Norbert Moses is mentioned at 10:50. Look closely, his name is only there for a couple frames.

These have been the only codes I’m aware of as of 11/11/20. 

(be sure to check out @gemstone6’s list as well!!)

Link to my Unus Annus theory

[dangerouslyallaboutdraco]

Exposed

A/n: Some 4th year, GOF, Draco writing. Basically ignores the whole plot besides being at Hogwarts with characters. Y/n is in Gryffindor or Slytherin, you can choose I just picked those two to be the houses taking Potions together. And I took this idea off TikTok. 

Potions class on a Thursday afternoon was usually a complete waste of an hour and a half with quippy remarks between Slytherins and Gryffindors but once Snape had announced he wouldn’t be lecturing the class, Thursday afternoon was quickly looking easier. 

The desks had been moved so they were facing each other in a line, 10 students on one side facing 10 on the other. As usual, Professor Snape had a seating chart which he announced in his flat voice. 

As you stood there in your robes and listened as Professor Snape called out. “Y/l/n.” And pointed to the seat next to Hermione, a close friend of yours. 

Before you could move to sit down Professor Snape had moved on. “Malfoy.” He pointed to the seat opposite you, making you hide a smile as his eyes locked onto yours. 

With a quick look around at your classmates, you confirmed they hadn't seen it. Anything to avoid the question What’s happening between you and Malfoy? If anyone asked you had the rehearsed lie of Oh nothing, I think he was just looking behind me. 

In truth, there wasn’t anything you’d rather do than walk around hand in hand with Draco like the other couples did but there was something interestingly scandalous about the late-night Rendezvous, sneaking around and note passing. 

And it just didn’t seem like something you and Draco were ready for, mutually. 

Snape continued to call out the names of where people were to sit while you took out your textbook, parchment and a quill. 

“You will be completing pages 10-20. You may discuss amongst yourselves as long as you stay on topic and not too loud.” Snape explained before writing up the page number on the blackboard, the chalk making you shiver uncomfortably. 

Although there was work to do everyone seemed a lot happier with Snape giving you time to solidify your knowledge while you talked rather than making you write pages of notes. 

Hermione was already into her work next to you and you glanced over at Draco to see him smirking at you, Parvati Patil and Blaise Zabini on a side each of him. You could hear Blaise talking but Draco seemed to be intently staring at you. 

And he looked attractive today. His hair was starting to get long and fall around the sides of his face with a middle part. Then there was his sculpted, pale face that was a major difference from the babyface you’d seen get sorted on your first day at Hogwarts. 

He tore his eyes from your face again, leaving you with a tiny blush. Hermione was craning her head with a confused look on her face. “Are you alright?”

You snapped out of it pretty quickly and paid attention to her. “Yeah, sorry, I’m all right.” 

She nodded before going back to her work in her usual studious fashion and you looked to your own. It was a lot harder than what you remembered from class but maybe you were just too focussed on your thoughts about Draco. He played in a loop in your head, a major distraction. 

You were half-listening to Blaise and Draco talk across the table about quidditch but it wasn’t a conversation you wanted to get entangled in and there were a few other conversations you could hear, the rest about the book work. Snape was close enough to hear Draco’s conversation with Blaise and how off-topic it was but he didn’t do anything about it. 

For a few minutes, you got on with your work, trying to get it finished so you didn’t have more work to do on top of the homework Snape was bound to give you. 

“Hermione, can you help me with this?” Parvati asked, turning her book around so Hermione could see the question she was stuck with. 

Hermione nodded her head, always happy to help a fellow Gryffindor. “Switch places with Y/n?” She asked, turning to look at you. You nodded, knowing that you were one of Snape's favourites so he probably wouldn’t mind, plus it wouldn’t be your fault if he decided to tell you off. 

“Thanks, Y/n,” Parvati said with a smile. While you weren’t friends with her, she was always kind to you. 

Parvati picked up her things and walked around the table while you slid your books over to her old seat before walking around the table to take your new seat, next to Draco. 

You could tell he had noticed you changing seat from the eyes you felt intently staring at you. Thankfully Blaise didn’t notice Draco gazing at you. As they continued to talk you went through the questions, trying to find the right answers in your brain. 

Adjacent to you Hermione was explaining how she’d gotten to the answer to Parvati who didn’t seem to be understanding it. Across from you now sat Pansy who was previously next to you and Ron and Harry were sitting in the two seats on your other side, suspiciously whispering. 

As you flip over the page you realised you really didn’t understand the next question, Hermione was still stuck explaining something else to Parvati, Pansy and Daphne weren’t going to be much help and Ron and Harry were whispering secretly. 

It took a few seconds of wondering if you really needed help before plucking up the courage to ask Draco, not that he scared you, just that everyone else’s opinion worried you. 

“Draco, can you help me with this question?” You asked him, his head quickly turned to you at the sound of his name but he looked gently at you. Blaise’s attention was now on you as well as a few of your classmates who weren’t having conversations and were intrigued by you talking to him. 

You slid your book over to him. “Of course, baby.” He replied. 

As soon as he let that one word slip your eyes widened and your lips fell open. Suddenly the whole classroom was dead silent. Blaise leaned over and his eyes shifted from you to Draco, quickly. As you looked around the table at Parvati and Hermione they seemed to be doing the same thing Blaise’s were, shifting from you to Draco and back again. 

The same thing was obvious for Pansy and Daphne who must have stopped their conversation just as you had asked for Draco’s help. As you continued to look at the faces of your classmates a blush quickly formed on your cheeks, it was as if they had all stopped their conversations to listen to what you were saying. 

Draco was still oblivious and he looked around his classmates to noticing they were almost all looking at him. “What?” He still looked beyond confused as he looked to you to explain the situation.  

A red colour completely filled your cheeks and you tried to avoid eye contact with everyone. Blaise answered his question. “You just called Y/n ‘baby.’”

Draco’s cheeks filled with colour, matching yours and he ducked his head to look at the book. Everyone’s eyes were still on you, looking between the two of you. You could tell there were going to be some serious questions about what was going on by the looks everyone was giving you. 

“Um yeah, we’re.. together,” Draco mumbled out before coughing. Everyone’s eyes widened even more than you thought was possible, complete shock. 

“Is there a reason none of you are working?” Snape asked from behind you, making you jump at his sudden voice. Thankfully his warning meant your classmates’ eyes went back to their work and off you and Draco. 

Draco’s eyes met yours again and he smiled a little. “I’m sorry, it just slipped out.” He looked sorry too, sincere and gentle eyes trying to read if you were alright. 

“It’s probably about time they knew anyway.” You say, looking over at Hermione who was grinning at you. 

Draco looked happy with your answer as he nodded, clearly not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable in your short time dating. “So you needed help with this one?” He asked, pointing to the question you were trying to answer. 

“Yeah, please.” You told him. 

Even though there was still a light blush on your cheeks as he talked having everyone know felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and you could tell Draco was feeling the same by the slight smile on his face as he explained the work to you without having to worry about what everyone else was thinking.  

[softluci]

trendy [hcs]

someone (@yourlocalsinnamonroll​ hi again!) sent me a request a Long time ago asking me to do more gen z headcanons, and i have been working on this on and off for Months. this is something that i’ve had on my mind for a long time, and it most definitely can be associated with/attributed to gen z. 

this isn’t sfw so Minors DNI, but for a fleeting, wonderful period of time, there was a trend on tiktok that went, “buss it, buss it…” are you familiar? that should be enough of a summary, right?

anyway, once again, for my peace of mind, minors dni, and reader is g/n as usual, enjoy!

[a/n: so because this is so long, this part is going to be, like, the actual headcanons, and then the backstory i have for this will be right here]

lucifer

“intrigued,” would be the best word to describe how he was feeling. it didn’t cover the full spectrum of emotions that washed over him, but it was definitely a start. he started forming coherent thoughts after the fifth loop, but that's his business🤨

for one, he was upset. you mean to tell him that you could dance like this the entire time, and you—first of all, you never offered to do it for him, or on him, and you know his obsession for you would increase tenfold he has an appreciation for dancing of any and all kinds. you were depriving him, and for what reason, exactly? have you never been acquainted with shame before? 

second of all, not only were you keeping this crucial information from him, but you told everyone, at the same time. why can't he ever have anything for himself? he should relax— it's not too big of a deal, he's not too hurt because he'd have you to himself soon enough.

well, really, right now. he is suddenly in dire need of entertainment, you understand. he just called you to tell you to come to his room, and he would be a liar if he said he didn’t like how nervous you sounded. 

mammon

can everyone, like, get out of hell for a few minutes? he needs to be alone. the video is on its nth loop. he's laying face down on his bed, trying to recover from the siege you just put him under—how dare you?

you're supposed to be his—his cinnamon apple, his human, his everything—and you sent this to the group chat? is nothing sacred? is nothing in this world for him alone? what is wrong with you, genuinely? most importantly, why haven’t you ever even offered to dance with him? 

really, he's hurt. betrayal of this magnitude is bound to sting, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise. 

now, the pain of your treason aside, that was very easily the best thing he’s seen in a decade. before he collapsed face-first onto his bed, he was watching very intently, for at least two full minutes. he was actually so invested that questions didn’t form in his mind until, like, the tenth loop—but that was neither here nor there. now that he was recovering from the bomb you dropped, he had half a mind to go to your room and interrogate you among other things. 

unfortunately for you, he really only operates with half of his mind anyway, so he was already out the door. however, you have nothing to be afraid of. as we know, mammon is a man easily crumbled. all you have to do to disarm him is ask him if he liked it.

levi 

he knew. 

he didn’t know, like, exactly what was going to happen after he helped you trick out your d.d.d, but he knew it was gonna be fucking Something. 

he didn't even get through the video, actually—the beat dropped, so did you, and, suddenly,  his phone was across the room. his face was a deep crimson, and his thoughts were barely coherent, but he was already out of his bedroom.

simply put, he knew his brothers. he knew at least two of them would be on their way to you soon enough, but they wouldn't get there before him. he knew what he was going to do before his thoughts were fully formed. he'd get there, he'd bring you back to his room, he'd hide out with you in one of his cursed games—he would help you. if the two of you went slow enough playing it, everyone would have calmed down by the time you got back, right? right. 

was he being a bit dramatic? of course not! you would be safest with him, tucked away from his brothers until he was certain they wouldn't try anything. you know them, you know how they get, right? he'd never do anything like that unless you wanted him to. you are his best friend, and, really, he owes you this safety. this is at least twelve percent his fault. 

satan 

oh. oh, wow.

now, how many times did he watch that video? he doesn't know, he wasn't counting. he wouldn't tell you even if he was. he needs to maintain some kind of dignity here—not that there was anything undignified about being attracted to you, of course. it was just, well, you know—he was better than his brothers. 

in general, not when it came to you, but, even still. he's at a level of self control that they can't even conceive. now, have you been slowly, but surely, ebbing away at his centuries of hard work? yes. did this video put something of a dent in his poise? yes. 

but, in all honesty, it was fine. satan was smarter than all of his brothers, more patient—you know, better. he knew exactly how he would go about this. 

he wouldn't talk to you about this tonight, tomorrow, or the next day. he would play a waiting game, lure you into a false sense of security—and then, when you think you can trust him, when you think he's forgotten or just wants to show you mercy—then. he would come for you then. just wait for him.

asmo

miffed. he was miffed. like, arms crossed, tapping his foot on the floor, shaking his head—miffed.  once he was done staring at his screen for five minutes, he had about seven bones to pick with you. 

first of all, why didn't you come to him if you wanted to do your makeup and pick an outfit to film in? he's not saying you looked bad—believe him, he was staring for a reason—but you would've looked so much better if you let him style you. second of all, you had the absolute gall to make something like this and not invite him to join you? you're a villain. no, really—

but what really got him—what really drove him up a wall—was the fact that you never even hinted at the fact that you could dance like that. why did you keep such crucial information from him? he wasn’t even gonna think about the fact that you had yet to do it on him, it would be too much for him to process at once—your audacity would become palpable. he should really calm down, getting this upset is bad for his skin. 

now that he’s thinking about it, you were wearing a full face of makeup. it hasn’t been that long since you sent the video, you’re probably still wearing it, right? well, he wouldn’t be a good friend if he didn’t help you take it off! he knows he was a bit peeved a few minutes ago, but, well, that was a few minutes ago! now, as he reflected on his initial reaction to your video, he was in a forgiving mood. he was already on his way to your room to help you with undressing unwinding, and, admittedly, to tease you a little a lot—he thinks you’re cute when you’re flustered. 

beel 

he was more confused than anything, honestly. he wasn’t feeling jealous or betrayed like his brothers, nor was he feeling possessive at all. he was just confused, for a few reasons. 

first was the fact that everyone in the group chat was yelling at him. all he did was send an emoji of a fork and a knife, and everyone was on his ass all of a sudden, like he was the one who sent the video. he was the only person with their priorities straight, and there was lucifer, trying to scold him via text message, which only furthered his confusion. he was an adult, and he was fully allowed to have an appreciation for the finer things in life, up to and including your dancing skills. 

he was careful to relay his message in a private chat, not thinking too much of it. he would’ve given anything to see your reaction, but he wasn’t cruel enough to go to your room minutes after you sent it. he could easily do it tomorrow. 

this, of course, brings him to his second point of confusion. he really doesn’t get why you decided to do this on camera instead of on his face on top of him, but, like, to each their own. he’s content with the fact that he even got to see it, but he feels like he should still let you know the offer is there. 

belphie

first of all, you're already here, but for the sake of malice—go to hell. he was about to go to sleep, you absolute heathen. second of all, because he lost time he could've spent sleeping, you're going to have to take some responsibility and atone—immediately. he had a (correct) feeling that you wouldn’t be willing to come up to the attic, and he wasn’t willing to compensate for that by going to your room. 

this was, while a bit annoying, perfectly fine. it was late, it was a school night, you were undoubtedly going to sleep within the next hour or two. he would know once you did, such is the nature of the avatar of sloth, and then, he would pay you a visit while you were dreaming. nothing to be nervous about, don’t worry, he just had a few questions. 

the first question being, why, exactly, didn’t you just unsend the video when it was so clearly sent on accident? that’s not to say he didn’t enjoy watching it repeatedly, but he was quite curious. whatever—it’s not like everyone is going to know it was an accident, anyway, and he’s glad no one told you about that messaging feature. he uses it on lucifer all the time, but that is neither here nor there. 

the second question being, now, given that it is so clear that he is a bottom, why did you never—

[msawesomegeek]

Things that should have been obvious ADHD

1. My tendency to get so god damn hyper as a kid that I thought I had ADHD, but my mom was like: you don't have can't sit still syndrome!

2. picking my nails, twirling a necklace, picking at bracelets, twirling a hair elastic around my fingers in a constant motion.

3. The inability to watch a show to the end. Like will have to be able to binge it in two to three days, and then I won't be able to watch it for a year. Getting one idea or reading a sentence and moving on to the next show. In a loop.

4. Hyperfixations I have had: Singing, dancing, writing music, poems, drawing, painting, analysing movies, animation, physics, playing guitar, playing piano, or ukulele, ADHD research, constantly starting fanfics but never finish them, writing a novel (I have been trying to do that for a year), writing a tv show, writing a movie, researching and being excited to share it with people in what my mother described as: "Me having too much free time.". (Also I probs forgot a lot, but just what I remember you know?)

5. Seriously nothing has to happen and then I screw up my sleep schedule.

6. I have NO impulse control.

7. The fact that I stayed up till two AM last night to paint posters for a party, but I haven't been able to do my dishes or fold my clean laundry for a week.

8. Sitting in the weirdest positions.

9. The fact that when I have to study or something for an exam, I would constantly move location, like once every 45 minutes. Because now it feels wrong and I cant concentrate here anymore!

10. The fact that I can only do things last minute, and will literally have to make myself a schedule with timed everything or else I will do nothing.

11. Rejection sensitivity, uuuuhm yeah, that is how I got myself into a depression. From just, what if everyone hates me?

12. I will buy food and make dinner based on impulse, but then be stuck with stuff that I cannot use because it no longer brings me serotonin, and even though I hate wasting food, I cannot physically get myself to eat it.

13. either binge eating or eating nothing at all.

14. The fact that I saw someone do this on tiktok and wanted to do it, but I should actually be working right now.

15. Relating to all the neurodivegent posts, but like, always just chalked it up to my dyslexia, which is like, they literally ask you if you might be ADHD when you get tested for that, because having both is so common!

16. The ability to listen to the same song on repeat for 8 hours straight, and now it is literally the only thing I can listen to when I work. Do I even like it anymore? I dont know!

17. Random cravings, whether it be like, I need to learn something! or I need to read something!

18. Having trouble with when to talk in a conversation. Like when is it cool to insert yourself? When am I bothering someone, and when am I participating?

19. And apropo conversations: The constant oversharing, like a friend once told me: I give zero fucks about this topic, but you are clearly so happy about talking about it, so I let you go on. Or just being like: here is an inappropriate amount of information about me.

20. I love hanging out with people who talk a lot and are very good at grabbing the attention for themselves, because that is the only way I am comfortable that I am not talking and/or just taking the attention too much!

In conclusion. I'm clearly fucking ADHD, and my mom should have believed me when I was young and told her I probs had ADHD. But then again, no teacher wanted to test me for dyslexia, which I was also just a classic case of, sooooo. In conclusion the school system sucks and I hope more kids these days are getting diagnosed, because having to wait 3 months to see a psychiatrist really sucks as an adult who is clearly not functioning, knows what is wrong, but not how to fix it!

[ziezie13]

how do I be out here looking this fuckin' fly

Also on AO3

“But Daaaaad! It’s not fair. Why do I have to wear a dress and the boys can wear whatever they want?” Lily wined.

“I’m sorry Lily, but the Nostradamus Prize has a very strict dress code. Your mother has to wear a dress too,” Harry replied.

“Actually, I think Lily might have a point with this one,” Albus piped up. “Seems kind of sexist to me.”

“Yes! Thank you, Al.”

Al shrugged and stuffed a cookie in his mouth.

“It may be sexist, but this event is important to your mother. Not many sports journalists have received this honour. And while it may be a noble cause, I don’t think you can dismantle the patriarchy in a single day.” Harry paused. “And no, that wasn’t a challenge.”

Lily pouted and James entered the kitchen. He pulled up a chair next to his brother and grabbed a cookie of his own.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Lily doesn’t want to wear a dress to the Nostradamus ceremony,” Albus replied.

“So don’t,” James said to his sister.

Lily glared at him, “The archaic, patriarchal dress code demands it.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Yes James, thank you. We have covered all this,” Harry said with a sigh. “Stupid as it may be, those are the rules and that’s that.”

“Whatever. Fine. Just don’t expect me to wear heels.” And with that Lily stormed off.

Lily continued to complain about the “dress thing” up until the day of the event. James and Albus were slumped on the couch together dressed in their suits and ties. While in the next room, Lily pleaded her case one last time to both their parents.

“You know what?” James said. “She’s right.”

“I know.”

“It’s just a bunch of stupid gender stereotype bullshit.”

“You’ll get no argument from me.”

James suddenly sat up. Albus eyed him warily.

“Whatever you are thinking right now, don’t.”

A huge grin appeared on James’ face.

“James no,” Albus insisted.

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“I know it can’t be good.”

“Ye of little faith.” James stood and bounded up the stairs. Albus followed.

Instead of turning in the hall towards his and Albus’ rooms, James went straight to Lily’s room and opened up her closet.

“Um, James?” Albus questioned unsure exactly what was happening.

James began to flip through Lily’s clothes till he reached the ones in the back. He pulled out a few dresses with the tags still on them. Their mum had bought them for Lily over the years but they had gone mostly unworn.

He loosed his tie and began shrugging off his suit jacket. Albus raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment, curious to see how this would play out.

James changed into a simple spaghetti strap one first using a couple of size charms to get it to fit. It felt strange and oddly freeing.

“What do you think?” He asked Albus twirling around a few times.

“You actually don’t look half-bad,” Albus said surprised.

That threw James for a loop. He had expected his brother to make fun of him and call him an idiot but Albus actually sounded sincere.

“You can’t wear that to the red carpet though. It’s a formal event and that dress is way too casual.”

James screwed up his face. “It’s a dress. How can it be casual?”

Rolling his eyes Albus walked over to the other dresses James had pulled out of the closet. “You’re absolutely hopeless.” Albus pulled out two dresses from the pile and handed one to his brother. “Here, try this one.”

Moments later both brothers were admiring their reflections in the mirror. James had dawned a floor-length light blue gown. The skirt had several layers of ruffles edged in black detailing and a layer of toile underneath that gave it some volume. Albus had on a simpler black silhouette that was no less elegant. The arms and bodice were made from a sheer fabric and detailed with black lace.

“You know,” James said, “I was just doing this to be a good brother and shit. Also, I thought it would be pretty funny, but ahh… I look good. I mean, bro… What the fuck? Who the fuck is this?” James examined his reflection from several different angles. “I mean obviously you look good, that’s a given, but how do I be out here looking this fuckin’ fly?”

Albus smiled at his brother’s antics, for once James was actually right. They did look good. An idea struck him and Albus began looking around the room. Locating James’ suit jacket he picked it up off the floor. “Put this on.”

James gave Albus a sceptical look.

“Just trust me.”

“Alright.” James took the jacket and put it on over the dress. He looked back at the mirror. “Oh, what the fuck? Muuum!”

James swung the door open with fervour and headed to the foyer screaming the entire way down. “Do you see me right now? Wwwwwwwwhat the fuck! Look how good I look, what the fuck?”

Harry and Ginny turned to see both their sons looking rather ravishing in a pair of Lily’s dresses. Lily stopped herself mid-rant. Her initial look of confusion was quickly replaced with a bright smile.

“How come you two pull off those dresses way better than I ever could?” She asked, arms crossed over her chest.

“I don’t know what to tell you Lils, it turns out I’m fuckin adorable so… Are we going to this thing or not?” James stood with a hand on his hip.

“You can’t wear that to the Nostradamus,” Harry said.

“Why not?” James asked defiantly.

“The dress code only says that women have to wear dresses. It doesn’t say that men can’t.” Albus added.

James gave him a proud look.

Harry looked for a moment like he wanted to argue but he was just too tired. “Sure, why not. It’s fine with me. Ginny?”

“You boys look lovely.”

“Thanks, Mum,” Albus said bashfully.

The Potter children were undisputedly the best dressed of the night. It became quite the controversy, and everyone seemed to have an opinion. The next morning the Quibbler printed a special fashion spread for the story calling attention to the Nostradamus’ outdated dress codes and quoting a young James Potter, “Our society has many backwards and outdated traditions that have slowly begun to decline in popularity after the war, but gender roles still persist. This is just one glimpse of that. No one should be told what they can or cannot wear, especially when they’re out there looking this fuckin’ fly.”

I had this idea a few days ago and it would not leave me alone so here I am at two in the morning. This is not what I thought it was going to be at all but I like it all the same, much like James LOL. And once James was in a dress Albus insisted he get one too so… sorry not sorry. The idea came to me after I couldn’t get this TikTok out of my head and then, at the last minute, I thought about Kristen Stewart at the 2018 Canned Film Festival. Also the dresses were inspired by Harry Styles who is now my new fashion icon. I blame @beedragony for enabling me. B has informed I am not allowed to blame them because they blamed me first so I guess this one is all on me.

[neoheros]

how would haikyuu boys handle falling for someone out of their league? feat. kuroo tetsuro + iwaizumi hajime

kuroo tetsuro

the way i see it, if kuroo is crushing on anybody it’ll most likely be on someone he’s either been close to for a while now or someone who’s really caught his attention in a big boom bam kind of way

when it came to you, it was a mix of both

he knew you from class but never really talked to you since there wasn’t any reason to

but then one 2 am ramen venture in the nearest 7/11 later, the two of you officially met

it was so weird for you to see a classmate in the same convenient store at 2 in the morning buying hot patches and gatorade

you: so are you a really energetic murderer or is that for the volleyball thing

kuroo: somewhere along both but i keep the volleyball part a secret

kuroo was certain that the minute those words came out of your mouth he was GONE

a one way ticket to having the fattest crush on you

he only wanted to get something for the cold since he couldn’t fall asleep and instead he’s met someone from class who’s way too cute in pajamas with yakult and ramen on hand

kuroo: i’ve never had that kind of ramen before

you: if you don’t murder me then i’ll share

kuroo, smiling: you took out the best part

you: i am the best part

after that night, kuroo’s pretty sure that you singlehandedly derailed his thoughts and emotions in a snap

he’d see you wave at him in the halls and sometimes when he’s not too busy you’d let him sit with you at lunch

it was definitely weird to be friends with him since he’s never really talked to you before but the day you two exchanged numbers and the first thing he sent you was a tiktok, you knew how much you’d like being close to him

you’d spent nights on end facetiming or sending each other funny links and tiktoks and it always felt like you could talk about anything

lots of repeats of 2 am in the same 7/11 spot where you two had your first encounter and each time it’s just get more and more memorable

kuroo: the more i see you, the more tired you look

you: i told my aunt who has a modeling agency about you ❤️ she said no 😌

you two became best friends in no time and even though you told him countless times how much you hated the smell of sweat and getting hit in the face by a ball you never failed to attend all his practices and matches

kenma: are you two dating

kuroo: no

kenma: are you lying

kuroo, sighing: i wish :/

when kenma pointed out the obvious that you two should be dating, he was just hit with an overwhelming feeling in his chest

he thought about it and honestly? the more he did the more he felt like he didn’t have a shot

you were so nice and kind, the teacher’s go to when they need help, and he’s basically seen you turn down 2 guys in the midst of walking home together

yaku: we know you’re lame and stuff but shoot your shot y’know

kuroo: how am i friends with you

so one day he decides that he’s just had about enough from staring at you from afar !!! he’s gonna try his luck and if he strikes out then so be it

it was 3 in the afternoon and they didn’t have practice so he asked you to come over— which at this point, something you did every so often

it was chill at first, the two of you watching a movie in the living room together but then he gets up from his seat

a goofy smile on his face as he says, “let’s make a tiktok,”

you’re confused but you agree nonetheless

the two of you have made tiktoks in the past but they usually stayed in the drafts because you never could get past one without breaking into laughter

he never told you the sound or what tiktok to make but as he put his phone against the kitchen cupboard a smile immediately broke into your face

you look at him and he’s anxious which by nature also made you anxious

the audio played and you really didn’t recognize it, you curse yourself for being so out of loop in the latest fyp trends

he stares at the camera as the song played and you’re unsure of what to do except laugh

he turns to you when the beat drops, and your smile becomes nervous with confused eyes

you are out of my league

he mouths along with the song, the smile on his face matching yours as you let out a brighter grin

you realize what he just said and you laugh, softly hitting his arm, “i am not!”

he pulls you into a hug as the video played, the song looping in the process

he’s laughing as he hugs you, “yes, you are.”

you look up at him, pressing a soft quick kiss on his lips and when you pull back, you’re sure he’s got the stupidest grin on his face

kuroo: i can’t believe we had our first kiss on camera

you: i can’t believe i kissed the lamest boy in school

iwaizumi hajime

being friends with iwaizumi immediately means being friends with oikawa too

it’s okay though, you love them both

you forgot when the three of you became that close but at one point in your life, two boys came running around your local playground and hit you with a ball and the rest was history

later on you guys find out that all three of your moms were close also and everything felt like it just clicked yk?

you go to school with them and it’s pretty ditzy how they force you to go to all their volleyball practices and tournaments

you: i don’t want to go

iwaizumi: but we’re not asking you to

oikawa: we’re TELLING you

you’re close to both of them in a level that they’re like your brothers and they knew that

oikawa was really flattered when you mentioned that and he went on and on about how he’s gonna be the best fake brother you can look up to

iwa however ? nah fam he was silent

and (unfortunately for him) oikawa noticed

iwaizumi wasn’t sure why he felt a bit uncomfortable when you told them how you thought of them as family but all he knew was that he had the most bothered look when you said it

oikawa: omfg you’ve got a crush this is so exciting

iwaizumi: a what

it didn’t surprise him that much when his friend told him the possibility of crushing on you because to be honest? it was weird enough to not like you like that

it takes a while for him to get used to the idea but then it clicks and he realizes

all the times he’d take off his jacket in the freezing weather just to give to you

the days when you’d fall asleep on the corner of the gym so he can walk you home

even those annoying 3 am starbucks trip you’d never stop bugging him about until he agrees

now he’s irritated and flustered because all this time when he felt an overwhelming urge to punch the guy that’s been relentlessly hitting on you it was actually because of what he felt about you

oikawa: nope that one was definitely your anger management issues

at this point everyone in the team basically knows about how hard he’s pining even when he’s sure it’s not that obvious?

and it’s true !! he’s really fricken discrete with the entire thing that you feel like he’s physically repulsed by the idea

he had a sharp tongue and he certainly didn’t hold back on comments but whenever you wouldn’t notice, he’d have a soft gaze at you matched with a tiny light red dusting across his face

kunimi and kindaichi had to tell him that if he didn’t do anything about his feelings he’d risk the chance of seeing you date someone else and Boy ! he did Not like that

some guy trying to ask you out: h–hey

iwaizumi, staring them down as he stands next to you:

the guy trying to ask you out: bro nvm lol

you were sick of it !!!!!!!!! even your guy friends were starting to get too scared to be seen with you and you’re just like ?????????

you: stop making my friends too scared to talk to me

iwaizumi, irritated: you said you saw me as an older brother, this is what they do !!

you: when i said that i obviously meant it as a joke ?? brothers are cool not MEAN

iwaizumi: wait what

HE !!!!!! was ecstatic !!! but in his own iwa way so he had to play it cool !!!!

this was it !! he finally had the chance to shoot his shot !!!

so before his confidence could water down, he texted you immediately if you���d be cool with him driving you to school tomorrow

you: omg iwa never offers to do that, thank you sm body snatching alien <3

iwaizumi: due to personal reasons i will be passing away

he arrives at your house at 7 and he’s very nervous because even though he has a plan on what to do, it’s your reaction he didn’t know how to handle

once you got in his car, you were suspiciously quiet and the brim of your nose was oddly coated in a red hue

before he starts to drive, you stop him, a shy smile on your face, one that is easily out favored by your mischievous one

“let’s make a tiktok,” you tell him, and if it was any other time he’d 100% tell you no, but it was 7 in the morning and the sun had just come up and you looked so adorable he just couldn’t resist

he looks aside, softly muttering, “fine.”

you put your phone on the dashboard of his car, softly pressing play as the song started

iwa recognized this song, in fact, he loved this song

he didn’t know much about tiktok but he was very familiar with the ones that oikawa would send him at 4 am

and one of them happened to be this exact trend

his face flushes a dark red as he realizes what you’re about to do and you’ve got a silly grin on your face as you’re looking at him

you are out of my league

you laugh as you mouth it, pointing to him when you looked at the camera again

he playfully rolls his eyes, nudging you a bit to look at him

“you’re so stupid,” he tells you with a smile and you’re still laughing from the song

the rest of the song plays, and he’s got his eyes on you the whole time like !!!!!

you spend the rest of the morning repeating the song over and over again and it’s just you and iwa pointing at each other whenever that specific line comes up it’s 🥺

when you arrive at school, before you unbuckle your seatbelt, he takes your hand and pulls you close, giving you a quick peck on the forehead

you: does this mean you’d finally go with me to starbucks whenever

iwaizumi: no but that’s a nice try ❤️

[sondepoch]

Hogwarts, Basically (Solomon x Reader)

When you finally leave RAD, the last thing you expect is to be whisked off by Solomon to a human school of magic. What you expect even less is for the white-haired mage to become your dormmate, and to be forced into a life of spells, potions, and wizardry. But what you expect the least is to find yourself pining after the sorcerer, reduced to something akin to a lost puppy, staring at him in longing at every chance you get. Or, correction: What you expect the least is for Solomon to feel the same way.

~Oneshot

MASTERLIST

At the very beginning, Lucifer warned you: stay away from Solomon. Never trust the shady sorcerer. Keep your distance at all costs, and do not interact.

But you never listened.

No, you were convinced that you knew better. That the white-haired mage had good inside him, that he wasn't a demon in human skin with an agenda more suspicious than Diavolo's own. For an entire year, you believed in him, and the two of you stayed by each other's side the whole time you were in the Devildom.

You have so many good memories with him.

The two of you pulled pranks on Asmo. Downloaded TikTok onto Lucifer's phone. Ran a scam where you auctioned your souls off on D-Bay and kept the Grimm. You egged the student council hall on April Fool's day, and you even shared your food with the guy.

So many good memories.

So many tainted memories.

If you had known where it would land you, you never would have allowed yourself to get close to him.

"I fucking hate you," You grumble, darting forward and flopping onto your bed the second Solomon opens the door, groaning as you burrow your head in your pillow. It reeks of magic, much like everything else in this godforsaken place, and you're entirely sick of it, but you're too exhausted to even care right now. "I can't believe you fucking did this to me."

"Oh please, you're acting like this is the end of the world." The mage closes the door, and you hear the sound of shuffling as he puts his books away for the day, taking off his school jacket. His actions are innocent enough, but you're certain he finds amusement in your state, and the very thought fills your lungs with even more resentment toward your current situation.

"It is the end of the world," You grumble in protest. "I'm supposed to be relaxing right now. Playing video games with friends. Hanging out at a club. Wasting time on twitter, sending celebrities stupid pickup lines. Not doing more schoolwork at another fucking school of magic."

Solomon laughs lightly, a warm sound that you wish you didn't like.

"Technically, RAD wasn't a school of magic," He tells you.

"Oh, who fucking cares? This school is! You've kidnapped me and dumped me in Hogwarts, basically, and I hate Harry Potter!"

"How unfortunate for you, then." Solomon grins boyishly as he rolls your body over, eyes twinkling with mirth as he gazes at your utterly unamused expression. "Relax. You'll begin to enjoy your time here, once you get used to the course load. I dare say you might even find it fun to learn about our magical heritage."

"When pigs fly, Solomon," You quip back, opting to ignore the fact that your potions teacher told you that your end-of-year project would actually be to create a solution potent enough to give farm animals wings.

You sigh grumpily and roll over, closing your eyes and relaxing quietly as the sorcerer pats your shoulder, quietly telling you not to nap for too long, so you have time to finish your homework later.

You ignore him, for the most part.

I'll never enjoy it here, you convince yourself. As much as you love spending time with Solomon, you don't have it in you to completely change your life and begin studying magic, irregardless of how much the teachers at this school want you to. Ignoring the sound of scribbles as Solomon begins his own homework, you tell yourself that the mage is wrong, that all you need to do is flunk out during this first semester and then you'll be returned to your normal life in your home country.

What you don't expect is for Solomon's words to be proven true.

One week into your time at the academy, you've just begun to grow used to the course load. The students at school stop raising eyebrows at your face, and as you begin to grow accustomed to the school, it becomes accustomed to you.

Two weeks in, you've already fallen into a loose rhythm.

By three weeks, you've developed what a less apprehensive person would call "friends," and by four weeks, you're genuinely giving your studies your all, learning spellwork and enchantments with an almost-passionate fervor.

By the time the month has ended, you've actually forgotten your plans to flunk out.

And though you're surprised by your change of heart, the never-fading smile on Solomon's face makes you suspect that he predicted this from the start.

You glance up at him from your textbook, momentarily halting your note-taking to study the way the enthralled light never fades from his eyes, even as he glances from book to book while continuing to draw a summoning circle for his demonology class, somehow looking pleased even as he cross-checks his image.

You groan.

You've found yourself glancing up at Solomon more and more often in these past few days, distracted from your own studying by the way his hair falls over his forehead, or the way his chest sometimes peeks through when he undoes the top buttons of his dress shirt, or the way he sometimes bites his lip cutely when going over a particularly difficult passage. Hell, you once spent five minutes staring at the sorcerer's hands, because they looked oh-so-soft as he took notes on the book he was deciphering.

The first few times, you convinced yourself that it was merely because of how eye-catching he was. And that was a fair enough excuse. After all, the colors of this academy are black and gold—Solomon's pale skin stands out against the dark fabrics of the uniform and the even-darker furnishings of your dorm room.

But after catching yourself gazing wistfully at his lips a few too many times, you were forced to confront the truth.

You have a crush on the aggravating, annoying, sassy, difficult, handsome, cute mage.

But that's not even the worst part.

You think he knows.

A warmth creeps onto your cheeks the moment you begin to think about all the instances where Solomon has caught you staring at him over these past few weeks. There are almost too many examples. Early in the morning, when his hair is all messed up. Right after breakfast, when his lips have changed color to whatever potion he drank. On your way back from school, when you walk back to the dorm together. During homework sessions like these. Right after he steps out of the shower—oh, he's caught you gawking at him far too many times after returning from the shower. (You tried to play it off by saying that you were merely studying his pact marks, but you know he knows the truth. His abs are loosely defined, but they're there, and you want to lick them so bad it hurts.)

"MC?" Solomon calls, and you blink.

Fuck, you think, suddenly realizing that you were staring at him while you daydreamed about him.

Add one more to the count, you think with an internal groan, silently wondering how many more times the sorcerer will catch you staring at him.

"You good?" He questions, and you can see the smirk he's trying so hard to fight off his face.

"Uh—I'm going to the library," You blurt, opting to avoid the sorcerer's gaze as you grab your jacket, looping your arms through it with deftness despite how utterly befuddled your thoughts are as you escape the room. You don't have your books with you, or your library card for that matter, but anything is better than responding to that all-too-playful question.

You flee before Solomon has a chance to say anything else, all but running to the stairs and sauntering on down until you're outside the dorm building, the air crisp in your lungs as you inhale sharply.

I'm such a mess, you think to yourself, the lingering warmth on your cheeks beginning to cool as you fold your arms and walk in the direction of what you hope is the library. A few people crossing you nod their heads in greeting, quick smiles thrown your way as you return them, but no one stops to converse with you, and you're left alone to debate your affections for the sorcerer.

You sigh, trying to sort out your thoughts.

Solomon must harbor some affection for you, you know that.

After all, he's spent far too many nights explaining foreign concepts to you, calmly navigating you through the waters of magic where he could have simply directed you to a tutoring board.

Moreover, you've seen how he behaves with other students here at the academy. No matter who has come to your dorm, be two kids it for a group project or a single friend in preparation to summon a demon they're interested in, there's a barrier of cool distance Solomon maintains with everyone else, one that simply seems to disappear around you.

Distance, you think, recalling the awkward way Solomon avoids physical contact with others, using sorcery to do things as simple as handing a glass of water to a guest. With you, though, you've both only grown closer, once-awkward pats now having turned into comfortably leaning on each other whenever one of you is tired. Last week, Solomon even ran a hand through your hair, and though he blinked afterward in surprise, as if he hadn't meant to do that, there was an undeniable feeling of closeness to his actions, something which others would hardly expect to see from him.

Another sound of frustration spills from your lips, aggravated at your situation with the sorcerer. The two of you are closer than others, but still not close. More than casual friends, but hardly intimate. Beyond nothing, but not yet something.

You kick a rock lying on the ground, watching it sail into the grass as you brood over the fact that Solomon is more confusing than the history of magic.

And you might brood some more, maybe even consider confessing your affections to the sorcerer in question, if not for the fact that you randomly look up and the building that greets you is not the school library.

You blink, abruptly turning around to check the way you came, but it is also a road that you've never seen, never heard of, and certainly have never navigated.

"Fuck," You mutter to yourself, realizing your predicament.

You're lost.

***

In your dorm room, Solomon is growing increasingly frustrated over the summoning circle he's been instructed to sketch. His fingers are supposed to be tracing the emblem of Mephistopheles, but it's so similar to Barbatos (and he's so used to drawing the summoning circle of Barbatos) that he keeps messing up at the end and has to restart all over again.

Or at least, that's what he tells himself is the cause for his repeated failures.

Solomon is hardly dumb—he's well aware that the reason for his utter inability to focus right now is caused solely and explicitly by you, and that this would not be happening if he weren't worried for your whereabouts.

But at the same time, there's nothing he can do about the fact that you're already gone, or the fact that he just messed up again on this seal.

A frustrated groan leaves Solomon's lips, inwardly cursing himself for driving you from the room. 

After all, he really needs to get this assignment done.

Then again, it's not like he would be doing much of a better job if you were still here.

The sorcerer can never find himself fully able to focus around you, eyes always drawn upward to study you. It feels like if he casts his gaze away for too long, he'll miss something—the way your eyes light up every time you understand a concept, the way your eyebrows furrow every time you don't. It's the little things he tries to pay attention to: how you silently nod your head at the end of every sentence you read to the way you aimlessly fumble with your blanket whenever an assignment bores you.

Solomon is positive that he's successfully picked up on every one of your little quirks, by now. At a single glance, he can tell what subject you're studying by the way you're sprawled out over your bed, and if he looks a little longer, he might even be able to tell how good a mood you're in based on the way you tap your pen against your notebook. Give him enough time, and he's even picked apart how the way you kick your feet in the air relates to how nervous you are for an upcoming quiz.

Yeah, Solomon really hasn't been doing too well in his school, with how much he's been focusing on you.

Of course, you don't notice it at all. No, Solomon cast a spell long ago which makes it look like he's studying diligently even as he gazes absentmindedly at the way you run a hand through your hair when you're tired, making it incredibly easy for him to catch all the little glances you've been giving him these past few weeks.

Does he feel guilty for watching you watch him?

Absolutely.

Does he think about removing the spell?

All the time.

Does that mean he will change anything?

Most definitely not.

The look of shock on your face every time he casually "catches" you staring at him is too attractive for him to stop, especially since the immediate state of fluster it induces is so amusing to watch.

But that doesn't stop him from regretting calling you out just now, because while he's pretty sure you know your way around the campus, he's also well-aware that whenever your head is in a jumble, you lose all sense of awareness.

I'll wait, he decides, rapping his pencil against the outline of the sketch he's working on, reaching for a ruler. I need to finish this assignment, anyway.

But then ten minutes turns into twenty, and by the time Solomon is done with his assignment, the hour is over, signaled by the four loud rings from the grandfather clock on the ground floor.

The mage glances at your empty bed, set just six feet across from his, and he frowns.

I'll wait a little longer.

But one hour stretches into two, and two stretches into three, and nearly four hours have passed by the time the sun sets, and Solomon is pacing back and forth in the dorm, glancing at the door every time he turns, in hopes that you'll walk through it.

Fucking hell, he thinks to himself, grabbing his academy jacket as he flips his book closed and shoves it onto his desk.

He isn't going to torture himself any longer like this.

Hell, he'll confess if that's what it takes to bring you back, because right now, he's going crazy cooped up in this room and there's only one thing that's going to calm him down.

Shoving his keys into his pocket, he yanks the door open, all final hopes of you standing on the other sides crushed when he sees the almost-empty hall, and the questioning eyes of students wondering why he's heading out when it's so close to curfew.

He huffs in exasperation, slamming the door shut as he walks out, long legs carrying him in the direction of where he suspects you got lost.

He's really fallen for such a troublesome person.

Then again, Solomon adores even that part of you.

***

You've never been so relieved to see a clump of white hair.

Or, well, maybe you have—you know, given that Mammon has saved you more than a few times from Lucifer's wrath—but you've never been so relieved in the human world to see a familiar, fluffy clump of white hair.

"Solomon!" You exclaim the moment you set your eyes on the mage, sprinting forward to capture him in a tight hug. He stiffens at the contact, and you inwardly note that this is probably the closest you've ever physically been to him, but you don't care. Maybe it's the instincts that were drilled into you after being surrounded by demons for a whole year, but you had seriously begun to think that you would die out here.

"How on earth did you get here?" Solomon asks incredulously, gazing at your surroundings.

"I, um." You suddenly feel embarrassed. "I got lost, and then I sort of just picked a direction and walked."

"You..." Solomon pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation, unable to even bring himself to repeat your words back to you. "You do realize that that's the worst possible thing you could have done, right?" The mage shoots a frown your way. "Do you even know how far off-campus we are right now?"

You ignore his words off with a smile, following him gleefully as he shakes his head in disapproval. "Then isn't it wonderful that I had you to come find me?"

You laugh, the sound filling the otherwise empty night, missing the way Solomon fights off an instinctive smile at the sound.

"If you turn tail and run away every single time I catch you staring at me, we're going to have an issue," The sorcerer mutters, more under his breath than to you. You ignore his words, neither wanting to nor knowing how to respond. "Your crush on me is only going to bring more trouble to us, if things continue on like this."

And that gets to you.

(And though you don't know it, the sorcerer is equally mortified by his statement. He certainly hadn't wanted to confront you like that.)

"You know?!" You exclaim, eyes round in horror. You always knew that he must have had his own suspicions, but for him to just come out and say it? You stare at the man with a mouth agape, raw embarrassment warming your cheeks for the second time today.

"Ah, yes," Solomon comments lamely, wincing when he hears how his words must sound. "I mean, ahem, I would actually, erm, consider myself, goodness look at that goose, to harbor similar sentiments.

"You...what?" You ask suspiciously, partially confident that Solomon just confessed but at the same time confused whether his words mean what you think they do. "You like me?" You ask hesitantly, watching the mage's expressions carefully.

"'Like' is such a strange word," Solomon begins. "One might consider it to be an expression of indifference, whereas another would—"

You cut the mage off with a sharp elbow to the stomach and a pointed glare, warning him to stop being around the bush.

"Fine," He mutters, shooting you a sulky glare. "Yes. I like you, okay? Are you happy now?"

A warm smile blooms on your face as you hear the sorcerer say those words, savoring the beautiful pink that swells on his usually-pale cheeks as he averts his eyes and crosses his arms.

"Yes, that does make me happy," You muse, grinning. "For how long?" You probably didn't have to ask that question—but Solomon's evident embarrassment makes it impossible not to milk this situation for all it's worth.

"Since...the Devildom," He mutters, the pink on his cheeks surging with even more prominence.

You blink at that.

The Devildom?

That's even longer than you've liked him!

"Wow," You confess, eyes slightly round in wonder. "I...I had no idea, this whole time."

"Yeah, I...kind of made sure of that."

"What do you mean?" You pause in your walk to glance at the man standing next to you. "How'd you stop me from figuring it out?"

"I, uh," Solomon scratches the back of his neck, glancing away sheepishly. "I may have used magic."

Wow.

Well, that—

Yeah, that was entirely expected.

A huff leaves your throat, and you cross your arms dramatically as you saunter ahead of Solomon, not bothering to acknowledge the fact that Asmo once warned you that, if Solomon ever started liking you, this was exactly the sort of thing he would do.

You pause, glancing right and then left as you approach a crossing, completely unsure of which way to go but unwilling to reduce yourself to asking the sorcerer from help. Not when you can feel the waves of apology radiating off him.

"Are you mad?" He asks when you stop, and the hesitant inflection of his voice only makes you fall for him more because of how annoyingly adorable you find it.

"Maybe," You respond, deciding to keep him in suspense. "But you can make it up to me."

Before Solomon can ask how, you walk in front of him and turn around such that you're facing him, one arm on your hip as you send a confident smirk.

"Given that we both like each other, see..." You trail off, standing in front of him with a devilish grin on your face as you wait for him to piece together what you're hinting at.

You see his eyes widen, the moment of realization dawning in his eyes as he understands what you're asking him to do.

Solomon doesn't hesitate much after that. He barely spends a single moment preparing himself, and then one hand is reaching for your cheek while his lips pull closer, and you savor the sight of his eyes closing as he presses his lips to yours, and then your own eyes are closed, basking in the feeling of warmth as you grin and lean into the kiss, lifting your own arms to his neck, looping them around to play with his hair the way you've thought about so many times.

Something about the situation is undeniably blissful, undeniably comfortable, and undeniably right as you both kiss, and the very notion that you could have ever been so hesitant about doing this makes you both laugh, the two of you smiling and giggling into the kiss like fools.

You lean back slightly, pulling away to beam at the sorcerer with a proud smile, but Solomon chases your lips, dipping his head forward and halting you from going further back by snaking a hand around your waist. Not at all minding this development, you grin as he turns the kiss passionate, slipping his tongue through your lips with a determined force you can't help but be turned on by, and then the lightheartedness of the previous moment is replaced by a sudden passion for more of this, more of the feeling of Solomon's mouth against yours, more of him.

You bring your hands to his chest, pushing him backward and onto a bench that could not be more conveniently placed as you press his body down onto it, and he doesn't bother commenting on how you're wrinkling his shirt when you grab fistfuls of it and straddle his lap. Or maybe he does try, but you'll never find out, because seconds later your lips are back to being pressed against his and everything else in the world disappears.

"Fuck," Solomon whispers, gasping when you part for air, his fingers just about to slip under your shirt as he caresses your waist.

"Yeah," You respond, knowing exactly what he's talking about. When your eyes dart from his flushed neck to his eyes, the look he gives you is nothing short of sinful.

Seconds later, the two of you are kissing again—because really, Solomon can't look at you like that and not expect you to immediately throw yourself at him—and his fingers really do squirm their way underneath your shirt, the feeling of his touch almost electric as his fingers grip your waist firmly.

And then it really doesn't matter that you're both still in public, that you're straddling Solomon on a public bench and that it's almost well curfew, because holy fuck you've both wanted to do this for way longer than anyone should have to wait, and now that you've started, nothing will pull you apart.

Bonus:

From his lovely little cloud in the heavens, Simeon cheers, a warm smile on his face as he watches his two favorite humans give in to the attraction that has always been painfully obvious to him.

He hums peacefully, internally wondering how he'll go about collecting his money from Lucifer, now that he's won their bet about how long it would take for the two of you to grow intimate—but his bliss is short-lived as he watches you tug Solomon's tie off, a light gasp leaving both his and Solomon's lips, though for two very different reasons.

"No!" Simeon cries, gasping dramatically with a hand over his chest as he realizes what is happening. "You're in public! In public!"

He moans in distress, falling to his knees as he sends a prayer up to Father for you both, his horror widening as he catches sight of buttons popping off your shirt as Solomon slips his hands underneath it, both of you starved and desperate for more contact than your clothes can provide.

"Little lambs!" He wails in horror, and all the other angels stop what they're doing for a moment to wonder what has their Simeon in such a twist, nearly every angel in the heavens listening to the sound of his utterly defeated whimpers that follow as he crawls back into bed, trying his best to forget the unholy sight that now plagues his mind.

"Forgive me, Father," He murmurs, fingers darting from his forehead to his chest, then right and left. But then, he thinks of a better prayer: "Forgive them."

Bonus bonus:

Centuries later, Simeon will reluctantly (and drunkenly) recount this tale to Asmodeus, who will immediately cheer in support. The fifth-born will claim to have always sensed the unspoken sexual tension between the two of you, and has always been an ardent supporter of "giving in to temptation," regardless of how public one's surroundings may be. After hearing Simeon's story, he'll order another round of drinks for the bar, paying for it himself in honor of everyone's two favorite humans, the demon cheering both your names loudly and downing a shot before promptly passing out on Simeon's lap.

MASTERLIST

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Fun fact: originally, the academy that mc and solomon are at was supposed to be RAS - the royal academy of Solomon - just like RAD, but solomon was the headmaster (and there was a corresponding RAM run by Michael in the Celestial Realm) :) Not fun fact: I’m also working on a diavolo fic right now and it feels like every word is a breath of air being ripped from my already asphyxiated lungs :)

Comment & Like

Thank you for reading <3

I do not own the rights to Obey Me! or any of the characters within it.

[stonerz4sokka]

the gaang (& co.) on zoom

aang: ALWAYS mixes up his class times and it isn’t until sokka helps build his schedule and set reminders on aang's phone that he actually shows up to the right class at the right time, always excited to be there but is constantly getting distracted by the littlest things (doesn’t help that his window is behind his computer), isn’t afraid to tell the teacher when the hw assigned is too much (the whole class thanks him for that), types jokes in the class chat, wears his appa print pajamas to class everyday, motivates people to stay optimistic during these ‘troubling times’ (and it works)

katara: wears sweatpants and a crewneck everyday but NEVER forgets to do her hair, talks shit about the ugly white girls in their class (some are sokka’s exes) with zuko, wants to do pranks with toph but is too scared of getting caught (though she eventually does a few),  takes the lead in breakout rooms bc she can’t stand the awkward silence although if aang is there they’ll both be very distracting, will literally laugh on camera every time she hears a stupid comment, gives emotional speeches to help motivate her classmates which are well-intentioned but come off as a little preachy :/ people still try though bc they weirdly don’t want to disappoint her, refuses to let a man interrupt her so she will continue talking even if their voices are overlapping for a good 20 secs 

sokka: has an insane amount of reminders, alarms and organizational tools on his phone and computer so he doesn’t forget to go to class, he tries so hard to focus but ends up doing something that’s completely unrelated yet still educational, wears his same dumbass science pun t-shirts to class but he has his hair down more which makes the white girls in his class go crazy, starts all his sentences with ‘i think’ or ‘maybe we should’, tried to be clever once by setting a video on loop for his zoom background so the teacher didnt know he went to the bathroom but forgot to mute himself so the entire class heard him pee :(( his teachers enjoy him more in a zoom setting bc he's less of a distraction but they hate how he never stays on topics and asks questions they dont have the answer to, whenever katara sees him getting increasingly neurotic she’ll send him links to cool small businesses and they’ll ignore their classes n go online shopping together 

zuko: always looks tired and grumpy even when he’s well rested, his camera is at 256p even when he has the newest macbook (azula messed w his computer & he still hasn't realized), extremely paranoid around accidentally unmuting himself so he just never talks, cannot figure out zoom and never screen shares for projects bc it takes him 15 mins every. time. is weird in breakout rooms because he's bad at social situations but he's trying!!! he could try harder tho :/ is able to empathize well with his fellow classmates n tries to lift their spirits (it rarely works but the effort feels nice), the teacher once saw him scream and punch his desk during the desmos activity and sent iroh an email about local therapists who specialize in anger management, spends his breaks between classes crying 

toph: she will pick her nose, eat food, clip her toenails, do anything gross on camera to get back at her history teacher who told her she needs to be more ladylike, is actually cool in breakout rooms she seems like she would be super distracting but she would complain about the shitty teachers n provide insightful thoughts for the discussion/assignment at hand, does her zoom classes in her backyard so she could play with bugs, gives very helpful advice for maintaining ones sanity during online learning

suki: is always wrapped up in her blankets to the point where u can barely see her face, eats on camera & doesn't realize that no one wants to see that shit, she laughs at all the teachers' bad jokes bc she genuinely thinks they're funny, refuses to let sokka outperform in zoom learning so she does actually pay attention although it doesn't look like it, is really chill in breakout rooms n pretends she doesn't really care but will edit the work after class so it fits her expectations, she once farted in the middle of when she was talking and just pretended like she it didn't happen, actually is fine with online learning and likes the flexibility and doesn’t get why sokka is spiraling all the time :// 

azula: oh god, she wears entire outfits with khakis and polos and SHOES!!! for her zoom meetings!!! she. wears. shoes. her hair is always perfect, tries WAY too hard and everyone knows when she wants to speak in class bc she literally starts vibrating on camera, one time someone won a debate against her in class and she turned off her camera for a good 3 minutes, when she turned it back on her eyes were watery and her entire face was red, doesn't understand how people are underperforming over zoom, has the second highest gpa in the school (after sokka) and managed to convince herself he is actively trying to ruin her life but he's just........ sitting there. constantly messes with zuko's google calendar so he's late for class, can clearly see the art of war by sun tzu on her bookshelf in the background

mai: yawns on camera whenever azula talks just to piss her off, doesn't talk often because her teachers & peers underestimate her but she's smart and when she does talk it's always something rlly insightful, one time her and ty lee were paired with jet for a project where he spent the whole time 'explaining' the topics at hand while they did the entire project on another tab and pretended to pay attention to him, tom tom will sometimes join her during class bc he misses her n she acts like she hates it but she does love spending time with him, is actually secretly extremely anxious about maintaining her grades during online learning but only sokka and ty lee can tell, her and sokka gossip through heavily layered inside jokes that only the two of them understand

ty lee: built a completely new daily schedule and organizational system the minute she learned they were switching to zoom, is always ready for class 20 mins before it starts but joins the zoom 2 minutes after class started so no one thinks she’s an overachiever, a great student but she waits too long to speak in class so she barely joins in on the discussions, is seemingly the regular ty lee but every so often she’ll pretend to go to the bathroom & turn off her camera to recollect herself bc she’s always on edge :/, would have the best gpa in the school but doesn’t want to seem intimidating so she purposefully scores lower on certain assignments so she has a 3.75 gpa, 

jet: he tries to subtly vape during class by turning off camera his camera but its really obvious bc when he comes back he’s coughing and waving the smoke out the air, only participates in breakout rooms when the teacher comes in and immediately turns off his camera when they leave, staged a kidnapping during one of his lectures as an elaborate prank but no one cared noticed, someone else recorded the prank and posted it on tiktok where it blew up & all the comments were insulting him, he didn’t care though because ‘there’s no such thing as bad clout’

chan & ruon-jian: has not gone to a single one of their zoom classes sober (honestly barely attend), still tried throwing houseparties even when the cases were at their peak, tried to one-up jet's kidnapping prank by calling SWAT on themselves but ended up getting arrested because they forgot to hide their stash (they sell counterfeit juul pods), worst part was that their prank only got 250 views on yt :(

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 08/05/2021 (Billie Eilish, DJ Khaled)

Whilst this is slightly busier than last week, I am genuinely surprised with how little is actually going on here on this week’s chart, a lot less than I expected or predicted. With that said, the top of the chart is where our biggest story comes from and that is “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne taking advantage of a weak chart with its star-studded remix and peaking at #1 for its first week, replacing Lil Nas X’s “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)”. Not only is it the biggest hit for both of these guys and their first #1s, but it’s the first #1 for the entire UK drill genre, which kind of came out of nowhere for me since I think the song’s pretty worthless but with a TikTok challenge and streaming numbers that have even placed it in the American Spotify chart, it’s gearing up to be one of the biggest British rap songs ever. Let’s hope maybe this one doesn’t stall out as badly as “Don’t Rush” outside of the UK. With all that out of the way, let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Our only new arrival from last week’s UK Top 75 (which is what I cover), “Come Through” by H.E.R. featuring Chris Brown, is gone on the next off of the debut. Well, at least we have more than one new song this week, as well as some interesting chart nonsense lower down, but also some notable drop-outs for “Mr. Perfectly Fine” by Taylor Swift, “Mercury” by Dave and Kamal., “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” by Drake featuring Rick Ross, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man (which will rebound next week as that album makes its impact) as well as “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles finally making what seems to be its last exit. Our only return is in the form of “Confetti” by Little Mix getting a massive surge back at #15 after its Saweetie remix and the attached music video, though Saweetie doesn’t happen to be credited here.

We do have an interesting selection of gains and losses, as with the notable fallers – dropping five spots or more down the chart – we have “Titanium” by Dave at #23, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted getting ACR’d down to #29 (it had a surprisingly great run), “The Business” by Tiesto having the same happen to it at #32, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #40, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo at #43, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #45, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #51, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK hit hard to #54, the same with “Up” by Cardi B at #59, “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae shaking off the gains #63, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #60, “Heat” by Paul Woolford and Amber Mark at #66, “Solid” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake at #69, “Paradise” by MERDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #71 and, sadly, “How Does it Feel” by London Grammar at #75.

Where it gets a bit more telling about how the charts are going to adapt into the Summer is in our climbers as we have solid gains for “Another Love” by Tom Odell making another run at #60, “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous inexplicably at #57 and now we get into the top 40 where we have more potential future hits. “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack is at #38, “Don’t You Worry About Me” brings the Bad Boy Chiller Crew their first hit at #37 (although the song is only ever worth hearing for that chorus) and “WITHOUT YOU” by the Kid LAROI returns to the top 40 at #30 thanks to a remix with Miley Cyrus who is again not credited by the Official Charts Company. Boney M. are granted their first new top 20 hit since the 1990s, even if it is just a remix of a song that went #2 in 1978, as Majestic’s remix of “Rasputin” is at #18. Our final gain is for a song first entering the top 10 thanks to the remix with Ariana Grande finally making an impact – yet once again not given the official credit by the OCC – as “Save Your Tears” by the Weeknd makes its way up to #8, becoming his tenth top 10 hit here in Britain. That’s not the only song to first enter the top 10 this week but we’ll get to that in due time with our... odd selection of new arrivals this week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#73 – “EVERY CHANCE I GET” – DJ Khaled featuring Lil Baby and Lil Durk

Produced by DJ Khaled and Tay Keith

Two of our new entries are from DJ Khaled’s most recent album Khaled Khaled, an album much like any Khaled album I found cheap and just dull. This record especially is just mixed horribly, with a budget spent exceedingly on getting big-name features instead of any worthwhile engineers to actually mix and master this 50-minute trainwreck. The album doesn’t have many highlights at all but if I had to choose some they would be the two debuting this week, the first of which is basically a Lil Baby cut, “EVERY CHANCE I GET”, with a verse from Lil Durk. Okay, so, yes, first of all, much like the rest of the record, this mix is compressed and just weak, with bizarre bass mastering and drums that sound like garbage, before we get to Lil Baby himself sounding even froggier than ever. I do think that gives the song part of its charm, though, as with a Tay Keith beat, it’s definitely going for a hardcore, old-school Memphis rap atmosphere, and with Lil Baby’s flow switches disguising paranoid lyrics about the typical gunplay and flexing, it does effectively make a pretty intimidating listen... okay, well, it would, if DJ Khaled didn’t have to pop in to convince Lil Baby to “keep going”. We also get a single verse from Lil Durk here, mixed like he recorded his vocals in his bath to the point where it’s clipping against the bass, but delivering a King Von-esque flow that sounds pretty great, and admittedly more detail than you’d expect. I also love that silly “mmm-mmm” flow he uses at the end. I do wish a song like this, clearly supposed to be menacing, did not have the ludicrous personality void that is DJ Khaled on it, and it’s not like they need Khaled to collaborate together – or with Tay Keith for that matter – so I don’t really see why the dude doesn’t just shut up and promote his albums as compilations instead. I understand it comes from his mixtape days, but if this is going to be a studio album, treat it like one and just be quiet for once.

#72 – “Oblivion” – Royal Blood

Produced by Royal Blood

Royal Blood got the #1 album this week for Typhoons and admittedly, whilst I am interested in this band, I haven’t gotten around to listening to it, so I’ll take this album cut as a preview of what to come. If I am doing that, I hope to be surprised by whatever else that album has in store as I’m not really a fan of this. That eerie choppy guitar loop being immediately crushed by this heavily distorted riff and stiff percussion just does not sound unique or interesting, especially if Mike Kerr is going to sound this soulless. The build towards the chorus feels pretty pathetic and unwarranted, and said chorus is just not catchy, before we get to content about how he knows his fate through how arrogant he’s been and he deserves what’s coming to him. I mean, sure, but there’s nothing that makes it obvious that these guys don’t care about what’s coming to them given the pained vocal delivery and monotonous instrumental. It doesn’t feel exciting, rebellious or whatever emotion this tries and fails to capture, just stiff and staggered in its execution. This does make sense for Royal Blood but seems to me like they’re resting way too heavily on ideas ran through the soil at this point. With all that said, this isn’t bad at all, just not as great as those other singles have been from the record. I think I’d be more forgiving if it didn’t come off as a Queens of the Stone Age tribute act writing “originals” that bomb at their shows.

#56 – “love race” – Machine Gun Kelly featuring Kellin Quinn

Produced by Jeff Peters, Jared Gudstadt and Travis Barker

I guess this might actually be a rock-heavy week – not that I’m complaining about more of a rock presence on the chart but God, I wish it wasn’t coming from MGK. I’ll have some choice words to say about this guy’s last attempt at a pop-rock hit by the end of the year, probably, but at least for this song he brought on someone with some kind of legitimacy. Kellin Quinn is the frontman of post-hardcore band Sleeping with Sirens, one of the most successful bands in their genre but not one unlike others that grew out of the metalcore-infused pop rock to anything more unique or experimental. With that said, Quinn is barely here and other than Travis Barker’s typical explosive drums, MGK is the biggest presence here in his raspy but borderline unlistenable vocal tone that I just can’t stand, especially if it’s going to stretch out “run” as long and as far as he did in that longing, desperate chorus. MGK barely even lets Kellin Quinn have his own verse, registering him as backing vocals throughout the entire song, dampening his vocals that sound a lot more unique and enthused, especially when he starts screaming. That bridge did give me trancecore flashbacks – not that I’m complaining if I’m fully honest – so I’ll admit the part of me that eats up emo-pop garbage did let this grow on me a bit, but, man, without a guitar solo to distract from pretty awful lyrics (not that I’d expect much more from this artist or genre) and without really letting Quinn loose on the vocals, it’s lacking a certain grit and punch I expect from post-hardcore. The song did, however, indirectly remind me of New Found Glory, for which I am thankful for.

#53 – “I DID IT” – DJ Khaled featuring Post Malone, Megan Thee Stallion, Lil Baby and DaBaby

Produced by Ben Billions, Joe Zarrillo, DJ 360, Tay Keith and DJ Khaled

You wouldn’t expect an artist line-up like this to continue this trend of rock in this week’s new arrivals, but you’d be surprised, and personally I’m pretty happy with how much rock seems to be creeping up back into the public consciousness as if there’s one thing I got back in touch with the most over lockdown, it was the rock music I was raised on and it led to me even further appreciating a genre I had kind of lost touch with over the years out of just a lack of interest. With that said, this isn’t a rock song per se, but it does heavily and lazily sample a classic like much of this Khaled album, going for “Layla” by Derek and the Dominos. I’m not going to lie, either, it sets up a pretty effective back-bone for a trap banger about being awesome, especially with those squealing riffs in the chorus. Oh, yeah, and the mixing is horrible as expected, but to be honest to me it does not dampen the boasting, anthemic nature of this track, especially with Post Malone being a perfect choice to croon that infectious chorus. Megan Thee Stallion has a pretty embarrassingly by-the-numbers verse over a switch in the beat that makes it sound oddly stunted, but she does have that swinging rock charisma that people like Lil Baby do not have. With that said, I think I’m at the point where I eat anything Lil Baby says or does, because the flow switches combined with his frog-throat delivery is just impeccable. Content-wise, I think everyone here realises they’re being squashed by the clipping beat as they just go off about complete nonsense that goes in one ear and out the other apart from Lil Baby’s misguided but still pretty funny line about how he contemplated going vegan but sees no point in it because he’s got ten karats in both of his ears. Sure. At least DJ Khaled as something to do as he... harmonises, I guess, with Posty on the chorus. DaBaby is as distant as possible from the microphone to the point where I can barely hear him, not that it matters when his verse is that basic and short. This is kind of a trainwreck in all honesty, but with four choruses and a beat this heavy, it’s hard to be annoyed by it. Overwhelming maybe but these performers are all characters by themselves and throwing them in this three-minute chaos of squealing guitars and trap skitters just fascinates me if anything. Does it count as a posse cut? I don’t know. Either way, this is hilarious.

#5 – “Your Power” – Billie Eilish

Produced by FINNEAS

Decidedly not hilarious is this new single from Billie Eilish looking to be a smash from that upcoming album which now has a track listing and release date, with this functioning as I suppose the true lead single and her seventh top 10 here in the UK. It’s a brave choice too considering the lyrical content which is a pretty scathing attack on her ex-boyfriend and their abusive relationship, making several references to the gap in age and power dynamic that played into something really distressing for the both of them but especially a young, vulnerable Billie Eilish who found herself helpless in this relationship because of that “hero” quickly revealing himself as little more than his projected insecurities. The song’s detailed enough not to detach itself from Billie’s personal struggles but also works as what I suppose is a warning, as it’s retelling a story all too familiar with many girls of her age at the time who end up in these really scary situations. It does help that the song itself is great, relying on these layered acoustic guitars to form some kind of dejected groove behind Eilish’s vocals, whispery and cooing as always but in this case way too loud in the mix for my taste to the point where it kind of takes me out of the song as a whole. With a better master that blends her vocal take a lot better into the guitars, maybe going for a fuzzier, dream-pop angle, could work a lot better but with that said, I do understand the purpose of making it feel this intimate and minimal because Billie’s honest songwriting calls for a delivery like this, even if she ends up sounding shakier or even mumbling at times as a result. This is a big debut for Billie for a song not prepared to do as well as it did given its content and sound that is not exactly radio-friendly and oftentimes requires more heavy of a listen than a pop song would otherwise. I do love that final outro as her humming careens off the gentle guitars with just enough scratch but I do question how abrupt the ending is. Hopefully when the album’s out, we’ll have a bigger picture to as where this single in particular fits in.

Conclusion

With only five new arrivals and not much in the way of anything bad, I guess Worst of the Week goes to “Oblivion” by Royal Blood but giving a Dishonourable Mention would just end up as dishonest. Therefore, Best of the Week goes to Billie Eilish for “Your Power” but – and I cannot believe I am saying this for a 3/10 album with only fluke hits – but DJ Khaled – and Lil Baby for that matter – get a tied Honourable Mention for both of their songs, “EVERY CHANCE THAT I GET” with Lil Durk and “I DID IT” with Post Malone, Megan Thee Stallion and DaBaby. Now to distract from the fact I just did that, here’s this week’s top 10:

I can’t really make any healthy predictions for next week. Maybe we’ll get some songs from Lil Tecca, Rag’n’Bone Man or Bebe Rexha? Maybe we’ll end up with some fluke Weezer smash hit, who knows? Regardless, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week.

[lust-bts]

Hey love can you do bts reaction of their s.o wearing their clothes but has no bra on and they can see their nipple through??

ofc!! ngl I love this trope in fics idk why but just yesssss

inc. sexual themes

k s j

you were just stepping out of the bathroom, thanking jin for the t-shirt and cotton men’s shorts which he had lent to you

you weren’t supposed to be staying over but you were feeling pretty sleepy from the few drinks you’d had at the bar nearby with the rest of your friends

and being the loving boyfriend that he was jin had insisted you stay over since it was closer

“it’s okay, petal,” he looked up distractedly from his phone and the first thing he noticed were your pert nipples standing through the shirt after you pushed your hair over your shoulder

he cleared his throat, trying his hardest to stay polite but you noticed anyway and decided to play coy

“what’s up?” you asked with a smile and instantly his blush deepened

“you look really good in my clothes,” he whispered and you cracked a smile

“maybe I should wear your clothes more often,” you suggested, sauntering over so you could crawl up your boyfriend’s body and sit in his lap

m y g

it was a chilly spring evening when you decided to bring yoongi his dinner, he’d been working so hard at the studio that you just knew he hadn’t even thought about feeding himself

when you knocked at the frosted glass door it took a moment before a blacked out figure approached it from the other side of the room and unlocked it

“yn, I didn’t expect you tonight,” he commented, opening the door fully when he saw it was you

“i made too much food for dinner, have you eaten?” you turned to look at him while he closed the door behind you, lifting the bag in your hands to show it off

“that’s sweet and no, I haven’t eaten yet,” he admitted and you grinned but your boyfriends eyes showed something darker going through his mind. “cold outside?” he guessed and you glanced down at your outfit, a pair or black biker shorts underneath yoongi’s t-shirt which you wore like a dress

you hadn’t thought to even put a bra on before you left your apartment because you were so excited at the prospect of surprising your boyfriend

“i- yeah,” you agreed sheepishly before yoongi pulled you closer by your hips

“maybe i should warm you up before we eat, huh?” he smirked, sliding a hand through your hair so he could bring you in for a kiss

j h s

it was the height of summer and you were on vacation with your boyfriend in a villa by the sea

you’d spent the day on the beach before having a bbq and while Hoseok insisted on cleaning the grill you took the chance to go and change, switching your bikini and coverup for one of hoseok’s t-shirts and a pair of boxer shorts

when you stepped outside your boyfriend was nowhere in sight but what had appeared was a water gun

you instantly smiled and picked up the gun before a spray of water hit your legs and you shrieked

“game on!” hoseok called from behind a pillar supporting the upstairs balcony

“it’s so on!” you shot back before running to take cover behind an oversized vase

over the next few minutes you and your boyfriend shot at each other with sprays of water though your boyfriends aim happened to be much better than yours

it wasn’t until there was a long moment of silence, while you were behind the corner of the house catching your breath, that you grew a foreboding feeling

with little water left in the oversized gun you turned the corner only to be ambushed by your boyfriend

“truce! truce!” you called between your laughter and Hoseok finally stopped spraying your body with the cold water from his weapon

“damn, that’s a nice view,” he commented cockily, eyeing your chest while laying his gun to rest against the wall before he pulled you in close. “have you ever had sex in a pool?” he smirked and your heart seized momentarily

“no...”

“let’s go change that,” he insisted, pulling you along with him with a grin

k n j

“here’s those textbooks you asked for,” you looked up when namjoon quietly set the books next to you

you’d been studying all evening in the school library and had left some textbooks at your boyfriends apartment the night before but he was nice enough to walk them down for you

“thank you so much,” you told him quietly before he pulled up a chair beside yours

“how is it going?” he asked politely and you flicked through a bunch of sheets in your notebook

“two classes down, one to go,” you updated him and he nodded

“you want to take a break? i know you’ve been working really hard, i brought snacks,” he rustled though his bag in search of a pack of double stuffed Oreo’s; your favourite

“god yes,” you relented, gladly taking him up on his offer when he opened the pack for you, you took two biscuits out and laid them on top of your notebooks before unzipping your boyfriends hoodie and stripping down to his t-shirt underneath

you hadn’t even noticed how chilly it was in the empty library until a few minutes quietly enjoying your snack had passed and during your conversation your boyfriends eyes strayed further and further down

“see something you like?” you teased, it was no secret that namjoon loved your breasts, so you always liked to call him out on his staring

“yeah,” he smirked, biting his plump lips before standing up, “come on,” he raised his brows suggestively while guiding you out of your chair and taking you into one of the far corners of the room

p j m

“show me one more time,” jimin insisted and you nodded, moving back into your starting position while he played with your phone to restart the song

you’d been in the dance studio all day, practicing your routine for your dance class with your boyfriend’s help but now you were dripping with sweat, your biker shorts were stuck to you like a second skin and jimin’s button up shirt which you’d tied up was clung to you in various places

but you ignored it while you danced, putting your all into the performance

“how was that?” you finished, panting as you walked closer

“perfect, come here,” he pulled you in when you gave him your hand and all of a sudden you were chest to chest, “just one thing”

“what?” you ventured cautiously, worried he was about to critique your performance; not that you had a problem with his feedback

“you should really wear a bra when you show it to your students,” he teased before leaning in for a kiss

k t h

“come on, i need to go shower before we go out,” you tapped your boyfriend’s shoulder and he groaned, rolling into his back to free you

pushing yourself up you reached for taehyung’s black and white silk pattern shirt at the foot of the bed, you loved the luxury of strutting around in one of his many silk tops while you got yourself ready

leaving your boyfriend to relax in the post-sex bliss you busied yourself having a shower

when you were done and dry you replaced your towel with the same silk shirt and buttoned it half way up to cover yourself

the first thing you heard when you got back into the room was your boyfriend wolf whistling and it instantly made you grin and roll your eyes

“you haven’t moved yet?” you sassed and he eyed you with a wicked smirk

“i was waiting for this view exactly,” he taunted, licking his lips before letting a hand fall to his lap over the covers “i already text jimin that we’d be late, so come back to bed for a while”

admittedly, you were absolutely weak to taehyung’s deep drawl and your legs were moving before he was even finished speaking

“that’s it,” he helped you onto the bed, getting comfortable in the mountain of pillows while you sat on his lap “look at you,” he shook his head in disbelief before switching his eyes to you “you’re my dream girl”

“mmh, you know i love it when you praise me like that,” you looped your arms around his neck sweetly while he moved to cup your breasts through his shirt, playing with your peaked nipples

“i can do much better than that, just wait till your taking me again,” he promised and you practically melted into him as he lead you into round two

j j k

without a doubt tiktok had stolen many hours from you; whether it be watching videos from other creators or you creating them yourself it was always an app you had loved and in turn the app loved you, gifting you a decent following of people who loved you’d your content and funnily enough, your boyfriend

so when you had been requested by hundreds of people to try the new ‘wet t-shirt challenge’ you were eager to try it out on jungkook, the challenge was similar to another from a few months ago where women would drop their towels and film their partners reaction

this one was not that different. simply put on a t-shirt and get in the shower before capturing your boyfriends reaction to your appearance

“hey jungkook, i wanna show you something,” you told him, pressing record on the little button at the bottom of the screen as you stepped through the threshold

you had to admit, jungkook’s wet shirt that cling to you now like a bodycon dress wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but jungkook’s reaction made it all worth it

“holy shit,” he gaped at your barely clothed figure, his eyes scanning from your hips where he could see you lacked panties all the way up to your chest where your lack of undergarments there too have him an almost perfectly clear view of your perky nipples

you giggled behind the camera and he instantly pushed himself away from his desk

“editing can wait,” he mumbled as he scrambled to make his way to you and you stopped recording before things became a little too heated for the app