#it had to be described

[moran-with-a-g]

[image id: a twitter screenshot of a post by Kumi (@/Kumistarr). The post reads "DNI list" with a pondering emoji and a screenshot of a long list of franchises.

A reply from the user sonata: randomly zoom in on one and that's the universe you'll be reborn in when you die.

The list of franchises in the screenshot is as follows:

FNAF, Dandy's World, Sprunki, Warrior Cats, Wings of Fire, voltron, Kipo: the age of wonderbeasts, My Little Pony, My Hero Academia, Sanrio, Demon Slayer, Bendy and the Ink Machine, poppy playtime, Yandere simulator, Mouthwashing, Minecraft, Hollow Knight, A Hat in Time, Detroit: Become Human, Borderlands, the promised netherlands, bleach, oyasumi punpun, rick and morty, dont hug me im scared, love is war, asobi asobase, Bee and Puppycat, Sekai Project, Vocaloid, Bones, Dress to Impress, Kirby, Heathers, Miraculous Ladybug, Danganronpa, Object Show Community, Total Drama Island, Disventure Camp, Brawl Stars, DSMP, cartoon cat, strawberry shortcake, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Touhou Project, Serial Experiments Lain, Super Mario, Pokemon, Regretevator, Webfishing, madoka magica, Arcane, Jujitsu Kaisen, Stardew valley, murder drones, Dandadan, Death Note, how fish is made, marvel, DC superhero's, hunter x hunter, Attack on titan, amphibia, owl house, star vs the forces of evil, gravity falls, sailor moon, South Park fans, country ball, omori, Hamilton, k-pop stans, wolf 359, Azumanga daioh, Nichijou, cookie run kingdom, bungou stray dogs, sonic, bluey, Hazbin hotel, helluva boss, Alien stage, Haikyuu, undertale, deltarune, sims 4, rainworld, Celeste, turning red, genshin impact, honkai starrail, zenless zone zero, mr beast, baba is you, Amazing digital circus, v-tuber, roblox, Naruto, spy family, smiling friends, plants vs zombies, Persona 5, Identity V, Lion King, One piece, Home Stuck, furries, villainous, parappa, ace attorney, doki doki literature club, needy streamer overload, creepypasta, song of saya, romantic killer, ranma, chainsaw man, higurashi when the cry, elden ring, red dead redemption, yakuza, Harry Potter, Hungergames, twilight, game of thrones, sherklock Holmes, bambi, yuri on ice, Doctor who, invader zim, Star Wars, SpongeBob, Steven universe, amazing world of gumball, adventure time, mega man, portal, avatar: the last airbender, other avatar with the blue guys, over the garden wall, jojo's bizzare adventure, spooky's jumpscare mansion, super smash bros, The Last of Us, Life is Strange, little witch academia, valorant, overwatch, wonder egg, Ergo proxy, perfect blue, Haibane Renmei, cowboy bebop, land of the lustrous, league of legends, goat simulator, dragon ball, night in the woods, little nightmares, terraria, disco elysium, binding of issac, cuphead, baldi's basic, shovel knight, dont starve, cult of the lamb, fear and hunger, lackadaisy, fundamental paper education, dogman, many Disney princess movie, you and me and her, class of 09, ghost stories, SMG fans, tom and jerry, Garfield, simpsons, family guy, GTA, yume nikki, in stars and time, garten of banban, Skibidi toilet, kintopet, Amanda the adventurer, balatro, fortnite, call of duty, just shapes and beats, block blast, fall guys, among us, half life, the dance of fire and ice, ENA, Until Dawn, candy crush, resident evil, The Quarry, Bocchi the rock, walking dead, phasmaphobia, animal crossing, silent hill, world of horror, cooking mama, geometry dash, incredibox, crossy road, Tetris and Puyo puyo tetris, bob's burgers, subway surfers, spider man, disenchantment, futurama, dead end: paranormal park, big mouth, paw patrol, inside job, ghibli studio, beyblade, how to train your dragon, slay the princess, minions, outlast trials, Taylor swift, cookie run ovenbreak or actually any game from them, fever, spider man, yu gi oh, black clover, from me to you, miss kobayashi dragon maid, Saiki K, school babysitters, Ouran host club, sound of the sky, Welcome to the NHK, Cardcaptor Sakura, wicked, Barbie, mean girls, legally blonde

/.End id]

why is legally blonde here

[the-sketches-lair]

I can't help, but wonder...

[thesnadger]

I have a question about this image of Xanathar's Thieves Guild.

Why does he have sexily lounging elf boys?

I ask because I cannot imagine a beholder being attracted to anything other than itself. Does he just understand Sexily Lounging Elf Boys to be a status symbol, and he wants anyone who visits to know he can afford Sexily Lounging Elf Boys?

Maybe I'm the asshole here for assuming. Maybe these boyfriends are master tacticians here to advise Xanathar, they happen to like wearing leather pants and no shirts and I should be less quick to reduce them to sex objects.

I don't care, I love it, this is all I can think of every time I see it:

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[tobyisave]

I just think his childhood must have been a little lonely

[uncanny-tranny]

Not to keep body positivity posting, but this unironically cured all my body ails and I need everyone to see this, too

[Video Description: A Tik Tok posted originally by user trevor_wagner_

The video is captioned: My current body type is that you can tell I workout but you can also tell I don't say no when someone offers me a cookie

Trevor is sitting in a truck, and he lifts the sleeve of his shirt to flex his bicep. He then lifts his shirt by the hem to show off his stomach, which, where he then pats it. The song Half on a Stack by Three 6 Mafia is playing in the background. /End of Video Description]

[inbabylontheywept]

Memories of Grandpa Dale

I was playing in the barn, but I was also hiding from my grandpa. I was aware that this hurt his feelings, but I didn’t know what else to do. Every year I’d ever visited him before, he’d seemed kind of mad at me, but I’d hoped still that year was the year that we’d finally be friends. I even made a list of things to do together. 

Unfortunately, the list did not fix things¹ so I'd been forced to acknowledge that if he couldn't be happy with me there, and he couldn't be happy with me gone, then perhaps he simply could not be happy. At least, not until someone invented The Secret Third Thing.

(But I was only nine. So. That someone would probably not be me.) 

Fortunately, being happy is a task that I've never needed to delegate - I’m actually quite good at it. I’d been sad in the barn for maybe an hour or so, but eventually that got boring, so I invented a new game where I would chase big clouds of shiny blue flies off the sun-warmed horse-poop and try to shoo them towards a corner of the barn that I knew had a large spiderweb in it. 

I was perfectly aware that this is not ideal for the flies, but I had just read Charlotte’s Web, so my empathy function was very biased towards spiders, who I perceived as patient and compassionate and slightly maternal women. Who just happened to have eight legs.  

(I, like most nine year old boys, would have personally been willing to fight a war for every patient, compassionate, slightly maternal woman I had ever met. If you, personally, have ever hugged a little boy who was trying very hard not to cry in front of his friends after skinning his knee, know that there is a child in this world that would kill in your name.)

(Now live with that knowledge.) 

I played my game with the flies for a long time. Long enough to get into a rhythm of running and laughing and then panting outside on my back while wallowing in the long green grass.

It was during one of those walks outside to lay in the grass that I noticed my mom. She was sitting on a hay bale, looking baffled. I don’t know how long she’d been there, but I was too young and confident to even feel odd. She asked me what I was doing, and I just kind of gestured to the ceiling, and said, You know, just. Feeding spiders.²

She nodded. I was feeding spiders. Of course. 

We sat there a few moments. It was an amicable silence, but I was still faintly relieved when she broke it.  

Your grandpa’s been looking for you, she said. He got some grapes earlier. Wanted to take you to feed the ducks.

I've always really liked feeding ducks³. Visiting them had actually been the next thing on my list. 

I was baffled by the effort. 

He’s mad at me, I pointed out. My mom, to her credit, looked genuinely confused. 

He’s not, she said. 

But he was mad when we picked blackberries, I pointed out. And when we went on that walk down to the prairie. And he snapped at me this morning when I asked if I could have some of his dried mangos. 

The mangos had been my last straw. The weirdest part was that he didn’t even say no, he just (angrily) said of course you can, as if it was an insult to his hospitality that I was asking when just the year before he’d yelled at me because I ate a tin of dried apples. Apparently, I was just supposed to know that those apples were exclusively reserved for The Apocalypse. 

(To be fair, my grandpa has always been very worried about the apocalypse, but mostly in the context of not having enough dried apples for it. There was a period of my life where I thought that The Apocalypse referred to some kind of prophesied biblical event where there would be No More Apples. This thought has stuck with me for a very long time⁴.)

Well. Yeah. My mom said. He’s mad. But he’s not mad at you. He’s just… Mad. 

I mulled this over. 

What about the mangos? I asked, and she shrugged at that. 

Alright, so that time he was mad at you, but that’s being mad one time in three days. Cut the man some slack, you’ve been asking him for permission before eating anything. 

I just don’t want to eat the wrong thing, I said. I’ve always been very defensive of my rule-following. Both because rules are important, and also because that #10 can of dried apples ripped through me like a shotgun full of razor blades⁵. That “snack” had 400% the recommended daily fiber for an adult man. And I was very definitely not a grown man when I ate it.  

It was a very painful experience is what I am trying to say. 

I know, my mom said. 

I don’t even like apples, I added. Still defensive. 

I know, my mom said again. She’s very good at saying it. It always feels like she’s agreeing with me, and not just trying to rush me onto The Point. Sometimes, people need to make detours from The Point in order to explain things. Like, hypothetically, why they once ate a very large number of dehydrated apples. My mom is wise, and she has always known this. . 

I just really wanted to eat something sweet, I continued. They don’t keep anything sweet in the whole house. The day before I ate those apples, I licked all the salt off a saltine just so I could eat the cracker plain. And then the cracker tasted just like a cookie. To me. That’s how crazy I was going. 

My mom nodded her head sympathetically. 

My first month of college, she said conspiratorially, I ate about a box of poptarts a day. 

There was another longish pause as both of us considered what led us to this point. 

My parents are crazy, my mom said at long last. It’s a very peaceful statement to her. I'm sure it was stressful when she first realized it, but she's had a long time to make her peace, and she's made it well.  

Will you go with me? I asked. To feed the ducks?  

He’s not mad at you, she said again. Reemphasizing her point. He’s just mad. It’s just how he is. 

But she went with me anyway.

I watched Grandpa Dale closely the whole way to the pond to see if my mom was right. She was. She almost always is.  He was angry while he drove, and he was angry while he parked and he was even angry while he strode purposefully towards the park. When we got there, he took several grapes, and he angrily put them in his hand, and angrily extended the hand towards the ducks, and he looked at me, and for maybe a tenth of a second he looked okay. Not exactly happy, but a little less mad. Then a duck bit the webbing between his pointer finger and his thumb.

He immediately, without hesitation, without even a second thought, hit the duck with a haymaker⁶. For a human, the punch would have been devastating, but the duck had the benefit of having essentially no inertia, so it just kind of moved sideways and looked perplexed. 

You son of a bitch, my grandpa said. This is a funny thing for anyone to say to a duck, but it was especially funny to hear coming from a former Mormon Bishop. 

Quack,⁷ said the duck. 

My mom started laughing. I'd felt a sort of holy terror at the anger my grandpa was exuding in that moment, but the moment she laughed I realized how absurd it was. I was watching a grown man beef with a duck. I was watching a grown man beef with the world. 

I started laughing too. In a better world, maybe my grandpa would've joined. Maybe he would've taken a good hard look in the mirror and questioned why exactly he was so angry. But he didn't. Instead he swore at the duck some more, and he threw his remaining handful of grapes at it overhand, like a baseball, and then the duck ate the grapes out of the water, and my mom actually laughed so hard she started dry heaving a little, and my grandpa had to go sit in the car for a few minutes by himself to regain his composure. 

¹ He managed to pick blackberries angrily

² Unfortunately, I do this kind of response quite a bit.

³ I got my first kiss from my wife because I managed to capture a duck. They're like, a motif for my life. Very lucky to have that.

⁴ I reference it again in this very weird short story.

⁵ I eat a lot of strange things.

⁶ My wife is concerned people will not know what a haymaker is. It is simply the most redneck kind of punch.

⁷ ...What did you expect it to say?

[teaboot]

Okay so I may have been struggling under a miscommunication issue

[aru-art]

sourdough rolls with homemade lemon curd what the absolute fuck man

[weepingfireflies]

I'm actually not particularly fond of the romance/sex-favorable/neutral/repulsed division as, like, a permanent identity for me because somedays I'm frolicking in romance and smut & other days I want to explode the world if I see ppl even mention a ship at all. I think it's good for a lot of people, but it doesn't really work for me unless I'm feeling repulsed or neutral or favorable

Edit: Everyone who saw this that was wondering if there was a word for this: I've been informed about the term sex/romance-ambivalent. I suggest searching it up. Thank you to the people who mentioned it, but please stop trying to label me. Whether I decide to personally use it as a label is up to me.

[unicornpopcorn14]

So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.

Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.

Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:

What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?

What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?

And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?

Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"

Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."

Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"

It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.

Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.

[reunitedinterlude]

the whole chicken coop

[nuclearanomaly]

Spite Loves...

[markscherz]

BOOPHIS SNOOT!

Specifically, an undescribed Boophis from the B. goudotii species group that I discovered in 2015/2016.

[tawnysoup]

two new critters just dropped

[s0fter-sin]

ghost who works with abused dogs because he can relate to their fear and anger and soap who's terrified of dogs but needs a service animal after he gets shot

ghost who's covered in just as many bite scars and scratches as he is scars from his childhood and the military, but he never holds it against a single dog

he knows what it's like to feel trapped and think you only have one way out

he sits through the barking and the lunges, steadily gets closer as he gently talks with each dog, apologises when he moves too quick and gets bitten because it's always his fault, never the dog's. no one bites for no reason

the pride he feels when he gets to share their blanket for the first time is only matched by the day of their adoption

it’s soap's friend’s idea to bring him to check out a dog to foster while his service dog goes through training. he knows he's uncomfortable around dogs - he never made a production out of it but you can only duck around someone so they’re in between you and a dog so many times before they pick something up - but he just thinks he's not used to them and being around one will be enough to calm him down

soap knows he needs a service animal; both for medical reasons and help with every day tasks but also for emotional regulation. he pings from depression to apathy to white hot rage so quick it exhausts him; he's so tired of blowing up at people just because he can't keep his head on straight

he needs a service dog

but just hearing the barking from outside has him so on edge, he's almost sick from it

a volunteer shows them all the dogs available to foster. his friend gushes over every single one; cooing about how cute and sweet they look, just darling things, encouraging them to jump up on their barrier and play tug with their toys, and “come on soap, say hello”

soap keeps his distance, smiling thinly as the volunteer introduces each dog

but ghost happens to be in one of the kennels working with his latest trouble case

and he can plainly see how terrified soap is, no matter how well he thinks he’s hiding it

he flinches at every bark, his hands fisted at his sides, but his friend just doesn't notice; too occupied with the lab mix he’s playing with. ghost can see just how tight he's winding up, the tension creeping up his spine, his “smile” twitching uncontrollably, and it doesn't surprise him in the slightest when he finally snaps at his friend to “just fuck off, alright!” after he keeps pushing him to get closer to the dogs

the abrupt silence is tight and judgmental; the friend giving him a wild look. soap gives a short apology, still angry even though if anyone just took the time to look, it’d be clear he doesn't want to be, and storms out while his friend apologises to the volunteer; dripping with shame and embarrassment that sets ghost's teeth on edge

he could've stopped a dozen times before soap blew up, should've seen the warning signs that he was getting overwhelmed and afraid long before he got to that point

he spreads out a few treats for his dog, both a reward for his patience and an apology for prematurely ending their time together, slowly getting to his feet. he heads outside to find soap in the alley beside the shelter, swearing at himself under his breath and looking seconds away from punching the brick

and when soap snaps, “enjoying the show?”, squaring up with his teeth bared, ghost just leans back against the wall; open and non-threatening and waits for soap to come to him

just ghost who knows what it's like to be angry and afraid and has the patience to help soap feel more in control of himself, never flinching from his bark or his involuntary bite, as well as help him through his fear in time for his service dog