#it’s just something I don’t wanna deal w right now at this point in pregnancy

[semperreformanda]

should’ve just made a FAQ page for everyone’s questions about my baby/birth because it’s getting stressful answering the same questions and people throwing so many advice and unnecessary comments 🥲

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Wonderwall-part 2

Summary: Y/n find out something that changes the course of her relationship and life forever.

Pairing: tony stark x reader x bucky barnes

Warnings: angst and angst and angst, panic attack, swearing, some bitter sweet fluff,

note: I know its a weird change cause i went from she/her to you and stuff but i like writing you more than her so here we are pfft also i mention civil war but this story doesn't fit in the timeline it just fit for the scenario.

Wonderwall masterlist

You and tony sat on the ship with IVs being stuck into you. bucky sat next to you “hey... wanna talk about it? he ask softly. you shake your head. “not now not yet” you say with tears falling down your face. you had cheated on him. you cheated on the love of your life the person you'd been with for 3 years. Not only that but with someone who has tried to kill bucky on multiple occasions. Tony moved next to you. “Hey...” he said with a sigh. “Promise me we will never ever tell them about this” you say with a panic. he nods frantically. “that's exactly what i was going to say.” and with that you two spent the rest of the time in silence.

You sat in your room. It was 4 days after you got back. you felt weird and had been getting sick for the past few days. The others assumed it was due to your body still adjusting to being on land with consistent water and food. but you had other ideas as to why this could be happening.

Your hands shook as you paced the room. “fuck fuck fuck ok it'll be ok” you said to yourself. you walked into the bathroom and opened the pregnancy test box. panic was all you felt as you took it. you set a timer and walked back to your room. you continued to pace. what would you do if you were pregnant. what would you tell buck? what would you tell tony?! you two promised not to tell anyone. the timer went off. you put your head into your hands. “ok its probably negative i mean what are the chances” you say walking back to the bathroom. you heart was going at a pace that was scary. your whole body was shaking. you grab the test and flip it over.

positive.

you stared at the 2 lines. you felt tears fall down your face and your breathing become rapid. a panic attack that's what this was. you fell to the ground as your breathing became uneven. “no no no no no” you say getting louder. you curl up and feel your whole body shake. you try desperately to grab for every breath but its like inhaling nothing. you start to cough from lack of oxygen and tears. snot ran down your face. you grab onto your hair and scream into your legs. the door immediately opens and bucky rushes to your side. 

“hey its ok im here” he says putting his hand on your shoulder. “count with me ok” he says. you barely hear him it's like being underwater but you nod with what strength you have. “ now 1″ he says. “1″ you reply dryly your throat is dry and your lungs feel empty.

you two count to 10 slowly. you gradually catch your breath. the shaking stops and you feel more exhausted than ever. he pulls you close. “wanna talk about it?” he ask kindly. you look down seeing the pregnancy test and bucky sees it too. he grabs it and turns it over. his breathing gets deeper and he stands up. he walks back and forth and nods. “tony?” he ask with an angered tone. you nod. his nodding and pacing gets faster. 

he walks out the room. you stand up quickly and chase after him. “buck bucky don't” you say quickly seeing him walk towards the one door that would fuck up everything. he nods hard and fast. You feel the tears fall faster and faster. “bucky stop it!” you yell at him. Tony opens the door and immediately is met with a metal fist. “fuck!” tony says holding his nose. Bucky pushes him again which shoves tony down. bucky get on top and keeps hitting him. “bucky! stop!” you say going towards him you try to just pull him but that does nothing.ok next plan. you grab his shoulders “Stop!” you say using your powers. 

you keep pulling him and he does stop. he falls back into your lap. “you promised me you'd never use your powers on me” he says looking up at you. “i'm sorry buck” you say tears falling still. his head falls back onto your stomach. tony looks up at you his face bloody and beat. the metal fist definitely did not help. he looks at you confused. “im pregnant” you say to him. you see his eyes widen. “wha-what” he says shaking his head. 

“shes fucking pregnant with your damn child” bucky says trying to pull out of your arms. you panic and hold him with all your strength. “sleep” you say feeling him go limp in your arms. tony just blinks looking down at the floor. “your....” he says trailing off. his breathing gets deeper.

Doors open in the hall. natasha is the first to come out then steve. Bruce slowly emerges. Wanda and vision come out in a worry. Clint is the last to come out hes geared up ready for a fight. “what's going on?” nat asks. they see tony and bucky's bloody fist. “I thought we were past this?” steve ask in a panic. you look up at wanda and natasha. 

Steve takes bucky away from your lap and takes him to the main room and lays him on the couch. You stand up with natasha and wanda's help. vision,clint, and bruce still look concerned but less worried. “anyone gonna tell us what happened?” clint ask.  

Bruce hands tony a rag to put on his possibly broken nose. “uh let's go sit on the couch.”  wanda says leading you to the main room. bruce helps tony to the couch. “I should...” you say nodding to bucky. They nod as you slowly go to him. you put your hands softly on his head. “wake” you say and immediately bucky shoots up angry and tears edging his eyes.

“buck buck hey calm” steve says grabbing bucky's shoulders. Buck stares at steve angrily. “sooo?” clint ask sitting on the couch. nat and wanda sat down too. you were in front of all of them. “tony and I spent a month and a half up there.” you start off. everyone sits up more. neither you or tony had spoken of your time up there sense yalls return. 

“We saw no end and I was about to have a meet and greet with death himself. Tony was giving up his food and water to keep me going” you say looking down messing with your hands. “I don't understand why this led to bucky beating she shit out of tony.” Clint ask. “let her finish” steve said. “We got closer than ever and had agreed that there was no chance at us returning. We were desperate to stop the pain to just be with someone be cared for before the end. We slept together.” you state. bucky's breathing gets more rapid and his hands form fist. everyone starts to yell at tony natasha tried to silence it which only made her a target.

“Shut up!” you say yelling at them. They look at you surprised. “shut up before we end up with another battle and let me fucking finish what the hell i'm saying before attacking tony which by the way it takes two to tango so shut up please.” you say looking at the floor hands making fist. everyone turns to you and shuts up even bucky and tony.

“Now I am pregnant with tony child. Now before you all start yelling and attacking tony just try to understand the situation.” you say. “Understand the situation?!” bucky yells. steve tries to calm him. “no no just no ok. He mmm he saw her vulnerability and used it!” bucky says standing up and pointing at tony.

“Buck no that's not it he didn't do that. I saw a world without you with no one except me and tony on that stupid ship dying slowly and mercilessly.” you say feeling tears falling again. natasha stood up and walked to you. “I know your pissed as hell at tony and at y/n but right now” she points at tony “you are going to be a father” and she points at bucky “and if you stay, which i think you should, are going to be a step father so let's just try to deal with that right now.”

Natasha held you by her side. Bruce stood up “I’ll help it whatever way I can.” he said. “me too” clint said standing. “I will too” vision said standing. Wanda stood “You always got me.” she said with a small smile. steve looked at bucky then tony and then you. He sighed and stood up “you got me too” he said with a nod. 

you swallow “thank you all of you” you say softly then look to tony and bucky. “You definitely have me i'm not going to bail on my child just because its a complicated situation.” tony said standing up. bucky let a soft growl out. “buck?” you ask hesitantly. He looks up at you and shakes his head. He walks off and soon yall hear a door slam.

You dropped your head. “Give him time” nat whispered to you. you nod. she nods to steve and steve nods and walks after bucky. natasha takes you to your room nodding to tony who nods back and walks to the kitchen. sittin on your bed you look down at your stomach. there's a person in there well soon they'll be. nat sat next to you “how're you feeling?” she ask. “I don't know...Im going to have a child and it's not the child of who i always pictured it as. I broke the love of my life's heart and broke tony and I’s promise.”

“bucky just needs time is all steve is talking to him and i'm sure tony understands that you couldn't keep it a secret you two made that promise when you didn't know you were pregnant and don't worry you have all of us here to help and protect you.” nat said. “I’m an avenger...I had a father who used me as a testing subject and gave me powers i couldn't control till i was 17 how am i supposed to be a parent? Their father is a billionaire who is ready to die at any shot and their possible step father was born in 1917 and was brainwashed to be a murderer.” you spew out.

“you'll be ok we are all broken and a mess but together we can raise this child. I promise. We will figure it out” she says rubbing your arm. The door opens and in comes tony with a glass of water. “figured you could use this” he says walking towards you. nat looks at you and you nod. she stands up and walks out. 

Tony sits next to you. “i'm sorry” you say immediately scared of tony being angry. “no no don't apologize you had to say something its not like you could just avoid questions when your stomach grows.” he says with a chuckle. “y/n i want you to know i am going to be the best damn father i can be and if you and bucky stay together...because you and bucky will stay together i know he will have a huge role in that child's life and i'm so glad they get 3 parents who love them more than anything in this world. I will protect the with my life I will not die for them. I will live for them.” 

“Tony...” is all you can get out through choked sobs. you hug him holding him close. “thank you” you say pulling away “what about pepper?” you ask concerned. “I’ll tell her just need to let this” he moves his hand to the room “settle before any more people get mad” he says. the door slowly opens and an exhausted, messy haired, red eyed, wrapped hand, bucky opens the door. upon seeing tony he sighs.

“can I speak to her alone?” he says with no emotion. tony nods and walks past bucky out of the room. tony closes the door behind him and walks towards the bed.

he sits next to you and sighs. “buck-” you starts but he cuts you off “don't....let me speak” he says. “I am pissed as hell at you dont get me wrong...but i understand...you didn't see a possibility as being back here all you saw was death. I will be the best step father i can and the best boyfriend i can be. I am far from forgiving you but I still love you and I don't want us to end and this child is amazing news even if they aren't mine. I will be as much of a father to this kid as I can be and I will raise them as my own. I'm here for the long run.” he says looking at you. you smile and hug him. “I love you too bucky...thank you” you say. 

This journey was far from over but for now the world felt damn good. This kid would have 3 parents who love them more than anything or anyone in this world.

[blackenedwhite97]

Pregnant Panic- Poly! Erasermic x Reader

Hello! this was a requested fic from quite some time ago. I'll be catching up at some point, i'm in my final year of university so update will be more spaced out for the next few months.

Content Warning: Discussions of paternity, some medically accurate potentially a little gross conversations and mentions and depictions of anxiety and panic.

This story includes and Polyamorous relationship

Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

It was killing them. You’d think with how tired and unwell Shouta looked and how uncomfortable Hizashi seemed that they were the pregnant ones. Shouta was the most stressed you’d ever seen him, not because he didn’t want a child but because he was scared he’d be a bad father. You’d stayed up many late nights with him, looking out at the dark city skyline through the living room window, him drumming up ways he’d fail as a father and you countering them with rationale and reassurance. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be present. You all knew he was around the least; he was a teacher during the day and a full-time hero at night. Hizashi was usually home at night, at least.

Hizashi wanted two things. The first, to be as good of a dad as he knew Shouta was going to be. The second, to know which one of them had knocked you up. Hizashi, unlike Shouta had full confidence in Shouta’s ability as a father. Hizashi also had confidence in his own ability to be a father. Yet, and you assumed it was natural, the two of them compared themselves to each other constantly. They both felt like they had to fill a role that was usually filled by only one parent, a father. In regard to his second wish: It was driving him insane. Hizashi didn’t want to know for the reason of ascertaining who the “real” dad was, it was more of a who’s quirk we might have to deal with.

While it’s not a given that a child’s quirk is going to be the same as your parents, it’s still a possibility. A possibility some families count on so greatly that they arrange marriages based on quirk compatibility to keep their bloodline strong and on the top tiers of society. Your little mismatched family never worried about that sort of thing, whether this child was a telekinetic like you, made your ears bleed when they threw a tantrum like Hizashi or could shut his dad up like Shouta, or even if they were quirkless you’d all love them with every fiber of your beings.

This was going to be one lucky kid.

Hizashi was squirming around in his chair, his legs going from being slung over the arm rest to being tucked underneath him. Shouta was as still as a statue save the tip of his boot where his toes were wiggling with nervous energy. Hizashi shifted his position for the umpteenth time, his legs swinging around towards Shouta, their knees bumping. Shouta shot out his hand and gripped Hizashi’s knee, holding him in place.

“Stop squirming.” He grumbled.

Hizashi stilled and slumped back, splaying his limbs out dramatically. “Babe, come here.”

Hizashi looked slide long at you through his lashes and a grinned, waving you over.

“Sure, yeah. Hold on, lemme just-” you placed a hand under your swollen stomach as if that would help carry any of the weight and hopped off the examination table. You landed in a wide stance, almost losing your balance from the nearly one-foot drop. It was pitiful, since you’d started to really show it was almost like all of your hero training went straight out the door. Mind you, your hips were wider than they’d ever been, and you were twenty-seven pounds heavier than you’d ever been. You also constantly had a little critter kicking you in your bladder, which was very new.

You waddled towards Hizashi, the smallest of grins pulling at Shouta’s mouth as he watched you. He found your knew range of mobility highly entertaining. You stopped just short of Hizashi’s wildly splayed out feet, nudging one with the toe of your shoe.

“Can you stand behind me for a sec?’ Hizashi sat up straight. “I wanna try something.”

“Okay?” you raised an eyebrow but waddled around him anyways.

As soon as you were behind him he leaned back in his chair and propped his head back on your belly. He closed his eyes and sighed in contentment. “Now, I’m comfy.”

You stared down at him as he fought a stupid grin, trying to keep his face serene. Goof. “I’m glad our kid is already good for something.” You sighed, stroking the top if Hizashi’s head and smoothing his hair back.

Shouta blinked, his brows knitting together. “You are such a dad already.”

“Been practicing!” Hizashi quipped, shooting up and snapping one of his fingers into a gun.

Shouta rolled his eyes but couldn’t help himself and chuckled.

The door to the examination room opened and in walked a kind looking older woman with deep smile lines and dark shining eyes. She looked like she worked with babies for a living, there was a pure unadulterated kindness about her. “Mrs. Y/L/N?”

“Hi, yeah that’s me.” You turned towards her and stretched out a hand.

She took it with a smile and eyed the two men in the chairs. “Which one of you is the father?”

The three of you had agreed when this all started happening for the sake of appointments that weren’t with doctors you’d be seeing regularly Shouta was going to be the father. It was hard enough explaining that the three of you were together romantically anyways, add a baby in and the fact that you don’t know which one of them was the biological father and you have a proper scandal. Out of the three of you Hizashi was the most recognizable and had the closest thing you could equivalate to a fan base so Shouta felt that in order to keep a sense of privacy around all of this he’d be the place holder father. You’re doctor and OB GYN both understood the whole situation, of course they needed to. Both had been in favor of a paternity during the pregnancy, which you had wanted to fore go until after the birth. At this point in the pregnancy it would have to be an invasive test and with this being your first child the three of you were so nervous you didn’t want to even consider taking that chance.

Shouta cleared his throat and stood up, reaching out for a hand shake as well. “That would be me.”

Hizashi shrunk down in his chair, he had agreed to this prearrangement, but it still stung a bit. You placed a brief set of comforting pats on his shoulder and he straightened up a bit.

“Right,” the kind eyed woman took his hand. “everything seems to be going well and on track. If you wanted to go over specific we could step into another room?”

She eyed Hizashi, and curious look about her. It was probably rare to see a friend sitting in on any sort of appointment. You shook your head and spoke up.

“Oh, he’s here to help us keep track of everything. I have total baby brain and Sho gets… overwhelmed.” You smiled at her reassuringly, trying to normalize the situation.

“O-okay.” She looked down at the clip board in her hand and skimmed the page. “The only thing I would say is out of the ordinary is that all signs are pointing to a later birth than expected. This is completely normal, of course. There are a few options if we feel as though the little one if take their sweet time a little too seriously such as inducing birth.”

You looked down at your swollen belly, your little one didn’t even stir. Why would they want to leave anyways, the little shit was swaddled in warmth and had a direct line to all the caving food you were constantly supplied with. Aside from the waddling, miniscule range of motion, tiny bladder and hip and back pain you didn’t mind being pregnant too much. The boys were totally whipped, which you tried not to take too much advantage of. But you were human and Hizashi was getting really good at baking.

“Inducing how?” Hizashi questioned from his seat.

“W-well,” she looked at you and Shouta for approval before speaking, Shouta nodded. “there are ways to induce labour through hormonal injection as well as more slightingly invasive physical ways, however it all depends on the circumstances. We prefer the less invasive ways for new parents generally speaking.”

Hizashi nodded and there was an awkward silence for a few seconds. The woman looked between the three of you then looked back down at the sheet and began tearing slips off along the perforated lines. “Here are your prescription cards, signed off by Dr. Onishi.”

“Thanks.” You took the slips from her outstretched hands and she slipped out of the room, you could have sworn her polite smile slipped from her face as she closed the door behind her. She sniffed you three out.

“Invasive?” Shouta mumbled. “How invasive?”

Hizashi shrugged as he stood up, grabbing your jacket off the end of the exam table to help you into it. You turned around and let him help you into it, even putting on a jacket was harder when you were this pregnant.

“They’ll stick a plastic hook up my vagina a pop the amniotic sack thing.” You explained, expecting full well the boy’s reactions.

Hizashi shivered violently and let go your jacket, shaking himself out like a dog trying to rid itself of water after a swim. Shouta’s nose flared and his eyes rolled to the side as he frowned.

“Is that painful?” Hizashi asked, his voice still shaky.

“No one on google really said anything about that but it’s safe to assume is they won’t talk about it, it’s not good.” You shrugged.

“Ew.” Hizashi stuck out his tongue like a kid tasting adult food for the first time.

“Yeah, can we uh, stop talking about this?” Shouta, if it had been possible, had paled out. Throughout the pregnancy Shouta had gone from the toughest out of the three of you to the one that was the most squeamish about everything. Sure, Hizashi was over dramatic and very vocal about his thoughts and feelings but he always had been. For Shouta, the idea of your body literally contorting to stabilize itself only for it all the end in hours of screaming, crying and otherworldly pain was too much. Normal injuries? Doable. Anyone could get hurt. Giving birth? That was something only you could do out of the three of you and he didn’t like that.

“Sure.” You smiled at him and he hooked his arm under yours as you all made your way out of the building to the busy street outside.

“What’s up for dinner?” Hizashi asked, pulling up his collar against the wind. The winter was blowing in and Japan was in the early stages of grey skies windows and cool winds, not yet covering in heavy snow and frozen streets.

“Um, I kinda forgot it was my night.” You muttered. If you hadn’t been the pregnant you’d have been subject to a somewhat sarcastic lecture at the hands of Hizashi, but you were practically untouchable now-a-days.

“Let’s just pick up something on the way home.” Shouta grumbled.

“I gotta fill my prescriptions, though. We can just go to the grocery store, there’s a pharmacy in the back.” You said.

“I don’t want to make you cook.” Shouta sniffed, the cold air making his nose run. “Plus, it’s cold as hell and the grocery store is refrigerated, I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Sho I can-” you started to protest.

“Dad has spoken.” Hizashi chimed in, wrapping and arm around your shoulder. “We can split, Y/n and I can head home a grab food on the way, and you can go fill her prescriptions?”

“Nice try, Mr. “I-wear- a jacket- all- the-time-for-fashion”. You go get the pills; we’ll get the food. I’m fucking freezing.” Shouta poked Hizashi in the forehead.

“I can’t help that I like the layered look, Sho.” Hizashi huffed. You turned to his and gave him a peck on the tip of his nose, a dopey grin spreading across his lips. God he was easy to butter up, he was such a glutton for physical affection.

You took off you scarf and wrapped it around his neck and handed him your prescription slips. “Your assignment Present Mic.”

“Aye-Aye, Ma’am.” He saluted dramatically.

“You own me a warm drink when I get home!” he added over his shoulder at Shouta who was already wrapping his arms around you as you waited for the walk signal.

Shouta was a furnace as the best of time and a miniature sum at the worst of times. You’d taken his temperature before, worried that he had fevers or worked himself sick in the early days of your relationship. He was always around the normal base line, he just radiated heat like crazy. You sank back into him and let his thick wavy hair curtain around your face. You looked up and make eye contact with his smoldering dark eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey.” You said.

“Hey.” He hummed into your hair.

“What do you want to eat?” you asked.

“Hmm,” she closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “something warm.”

The cars came to a halt and the walk chime sounded as the pedestrian light lit up. “Ramen it is.” you chirped and skipped awkwardly froward, your splayed hips not exactly made for such enthusiastic movement. He trailed behind you; your hand clasped in his.

The Ramen shop on the way was the kind of shop you couldn’t eat in; it was a thin rectangular shop with just enough room for a line and the counter. You had never minded before but lately the lack of seating options as you waited was less than ideal. You and Shouta had to make do with leaning into each other, him trying to support you but making a makeshift seat with his thighs while she leaned against the wall. The cashier rang a small bell and called your order number with a polite thank-you. You scuttled to the counter and retrieved the expertly packed bags of lidded ramen bowls.

When you made it back to Shouta he was staring down at his phone, his normal peaceful tiredness replaced by an annoyed alertness. He was frowning and pulling away from the wall.

“What’s wrong?” you asked just in time for him to look up at you.

“Uh, there’s an emergency call for heroes. Like, three blocks from here.” He looked as though if he hadn’t been waiting for you to return he’d have already dashed out of the door. It was in his blood, Shouta was a hero and until one the assholes had knocked you up so were you. The splayed hips somewhat dulled that itch to jump into action, but you could remember how it drove you crazy.

“Go.” You nodded. “I can get home.”

“Y-you’re- really?” he turned towards the door and you could see him winding up like a spring action toy.

“Yes, go!” you waved him off. Without another work he was off, the door swinging in the wake of his exit. Although you hated to admit it, this kid had changed more than just your body. You never worried like you did now. You were never so afraid od the average mission or call turning into something catastrophic, you were paranoid about patrols in good neighborhood and rescuing cats from trees. Shouta literally rescued a cat the other night and when he was telling you about it all you could see was him toppling out of the tree and getting hurt. Whenever one of them left for work they would be setting up times to check in, and Hizashi being the chronically late guy that he is had to suddenly start keeping track of time. You didn’t want to raise this kid without either of them and while you all knew full well that it was a possibility with the life you all lived, it still terrified you to no end.

You tried to calm yourself as you stepped out onto the street, people were still milling about, and there was no thirty-foot inferno to speak of so things couldn’t have been that bad. You waddled the rest of the way home, bags of soup sloshing around in your hands, trying to stay calm. You weren’t doing very well. Usually you had at least one of the boys with you or they were together but no doubt Hizashi also had gotten the message. You groaned to yourself, knowing full well he’d also responded.

Your hands were shaking, hoping it was just the cold you rooted around in your pockets for your keys. Getting them in the door was an experience, both frustrating and upsetting in the only the way a pregnant person can attest to. Were the tears running down your face because you couldn’t get the key in the door or because you were a walking rage pile or hormones and anxiety? You whipped angrily at your tears and shoved open the building door, warm air washing over you. At least it was warm.

The building got more and more blurry as you made your way to your apartment, tears fulling your eyes until the lights were just wavering streaks. You were huffing breaths into what felt like air starved lungs, sobs pounding against your cheat trying to break free. You choked them down and rushed through our door, leaving the ramen in the hallway as you slammed the door shut behind you.

You really didn’t feel like being very very pregnant and having a panic attack. You started to pace around, running your hand through the soft blanket across the back of the couch and pressing your palms to the cool counter top as you went back and forth between eh kitchen and living room. Some tears fell but your eyes dried and soon enough your lungs stopped convulsing for air. You were still shaking and a knot was still tight in your gut but you had for the time being subdued the panic. With this new clarity you went you your room and pulled out you professional phone, the battery low having not been used in weeks.

You had also received the distress signal:

10 Ave and 4 St. Grand villain activity: League of Villain members sited at scene of disturbance. Requesting all back up in immediate area. Priority: Containment.

League of Villains. You’re stomach dropped, almost painfully. You gripped onto the sheets of the bed as you slid to your knees, panic rising in your chest again. You knew they were among other heroes, that Hizashi wasn’t a frontline fighter and Shouta would have a horde of heroes trying the keep him in play. You knew this. You also knew them, and that they could be stupid. Shouta had climbed a Goddamned tree the other night FOR A CAT. He could have fallen and died for a CAT. You choked down another sob. Hizashi was always the centre of attention and he did it on purpose. What if he tried to distract the villains and got hurt doing it? He’d done that once before on a mission and came home with a nasty concussion.

What if it was worse this time? What if the League was more organized?

You choked on another sob.

Warm arms wrapped around you and you jumped, trying to pull away.

“Hey, whoa, babe it’s me.” Hizashi hummed calmly. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s Zashi.”

He brought a hand to your head and held you against his chest, scooting closer to you in his crouching position. He kissed the top of your head and rubbed circles into your hair with his thumb and held you like that until you were able to calm yourself. “What happened?”

“I got scared.” You sniffed. “And I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” Hizashi chuckled, pulling back to look at you. His nose was still rosy from the cold and his hair was swept back in messy waves. “Sorry.”

“You should be.” You punched him the shoulder, once for every word.

“Ow!” he whined, holding his arms up in defense.

“You did this to me!” you wailed. Irrational, yes. Cathartic? Also, yes.

“I refuse to take ownership until we get that paternity test!” he laughed somersaulting away from you.

You were just about to give him a piece of your pregnant mind when you heard Sho enter the apartment and trip over a set of paper bags.

“Y/N?” he called. “Hun? Are you, okay?’

Hizashi jumped to his feet and darted out of the room, shouting wildly. “She’s angry!”

You tried to push yourself up to your feel but couldn’t, slumping back down onto the carpeted floor next to the bed. The threw your hands up in the air frustrated, all that panic from earlier having left your body. Being pregnant was a wild ride, whatever you felt was so strong and so consuming at the time, but it could fade just a quickly as it came.

“I’m stuck!” you pouted.

Shouta crept into the door frame, Hizashi hiding behind him. The two of them melting at the sight of you slumped, cross legged on the floor, belly swollen, unable to move. Shouta grinned, that same entertained grin from earlier. He made his way to you and grabbed your hands hauling you to your feet. You slumped into him, reaching out a hand to motion for Hizashi to join in. Not one to pass up a good group hug Hizashi happily wrapped his long gangling arms around you and Shout, ignoring your grunts and he squeezed.

“That didn’t take long.” You mumbled into Shouta’s chest.

“Illusion base quirk, I erased it and it turned out to be a bunch of low levels trying to make a scene to get away with some cash.” Shouta explained. “You okay?”

You nodded and hummed into his chest.

“You sure? There’s soup in the hallway.” His whiskers rubbed against your forehead.

“The baby got scared.” You muttered.

“Oh?” he hummed, as if in thought. He pulled away from you and knelt down, so he was level with you belly. “Listen up little one, there’s nothing in this world that your parents can’t handle so don’t so around worrying us like that okay?”

Hizashi stooped down and eyed your belly very seriously. “Especially, your mom. She’s already doing all the heavy lifting, dude!”

You dropped your face into your hands a laughed. Yeah, this was one lucky kid.

[lustfordespair]

always forever

SEASON 15 SPOILERS! Summary: You and Dean are a couple. Knowing what happens in season 15, this is basically you dealing with his death and the fact you were with child when he passed. The guilt of never telling him you were pregnant. It eats you up inside that you’ve lived longer than him but that wait pays off. Also, I listened to Always Forever by Cult on repeat writing this! It’s what inspired it too. Hope y’all enjoy! Warning: Angst, pure angst. Mentions of Death.  Mentions of Pregnancy. Teenager Things. Word Count: 2723

You and me, always forever. 

Say you’ll say never be seperate. 

She sat in the back of the impala confused on why the boys were taking a while, it was just a simple vampire nest to knock out, she knew they’d be able to by themselves due to the fact the Winchester brother’s have been in the hunting business longer than she had. 

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t she just do the wipeout with the boys? Well she had been keeping a secret, they didn’t question her though when she insisted on waiting. “Those damn boys, what could be taking them so long?” she said aloud, exiting the vehicle and making her way inside. 

Slowly walking in her eyes blinked several times in disbelief at the sight before her. Sam standing before Dean, who was . . impaled? 

“Sam.” she spoke, causing the tall male to turn around. “(Y-Y/n)” he began. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He continued to speak but her thoughts blocked him out as she made her way to Dean. “He’s okay right?” she asked, not expecting an answer. 

“He’s-” 

“No. He’s not!” she placed her hands on Dean cheeks with tears beginning to fall from her eyes, “Dean- Dean! You can wake up now! Y-You’re fine! I know you are!” she reached for his hand for a pulse only to be met with no heartbeat and a hand placed on her shoulder. She turned to Sam.

“W-What are you doing! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF-” she was sobbing at this point, yelling at the younger Winchester, doing as he was told although it pained him to pull his older brother's lifeless body off. He gently laid him on the ground. 

The two sat there for a while, Sam holding a crying (Y/n) in his arms. 

--------------------------------------------

It was the day after they had Dean’s “funeral”, burning it more was. 

(Y/n) made her way to the fridge, pouring herself a glass of milk and herself down at the table, silently reading a book to herself. 

“So were you ever gonna tell him?” 

She looked up to the door to be met with Sam’s gaze, “Tell who what-”

“Dean.” he spoke, holding up a pregnancy test he had found in the trash a few days back. Yeah a few days, he had knew but never really knew when to bring it up. 

She took a drink of her milk and sighed, a single tear threatening her eyes. “I was, yeah. Never got to though, you know?” Sam only nodded at her comment and proceeded to grab himself a bowl of cereal. 

Miracle soon walked his way in and barked, causing (Y/n) tp get up from her seat, “Don’t worry boy, I’ll get you some breakfast too.” She got out a pan and some eggs, even before Dean passed she’d always cook Miracle an egg or two. 

“Really you made the dog eggs but not me?” a deep voice asked. 

She turned and smiled, “Yes, Dean I did. Not my fault you didn’t want to get up a little earlier for breakfast.” 

The male made his way towards (Y/n) and gave her a kiss on the head, then the cheek, her nose, her other cheek, her neck.. and finally on the lips. 

“Ew jeez, if y’all are going to do that go back to your room.” Sam spoke, resulting in a laugh from (Y/n). 

“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Dean swept her off her feet and made his way out the kitchen and to their room. 

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)???”

She blinked a few times before looking at Sam, “What?” she asked. “Uhm, you okay? You drifted off a bit.” he spoke. She realized she was still in the kitchen, she took a deep breath. “Yeah I’m fine, sorry.”

With that the two proceeded on with their day. 

--------------------------------------------

“SAM! SAM! OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO SCREAM!” she shouted.

Sam rushed out of his room and ran to (Y/n)’s with Miracle barking behind, ‘(Y/n!) What’s wrong?” he spotted the girl with her hand on her stomach, leaning over her desk. 

She gulped and looked at the male, “It is damn time Samuel!” and with that Sam panicked. He grabbed the emergency bag they had prepared for the day and made his way to the impala, starting it and driving.

“I can’t believe it’s happening! I’m going to be an uncle!” he shouted turning to the passengers seat, “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” he turned the car around realizing he forgot the most important thing to the hospital: (Y/n).

“I’M SORRY I FORGOT YOU” he began, “SHUT UP AND TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL SAM!” “OKAY OKAY SORRY!”

They then made their way to the hospital, both of them knowing they’d remember the day the kid’s Uncle Sammy forget their mom when she was giving birth. Soon, they arrived.

There laid (Y/n) beginning to give birth, squeezing Sam’s hand and yelling at him for letting his brother get her pregnant, as if it was his fault. 

“Come on (Y/n)! One more push!” the doctor shouted. 

She cried, “I can’t.. I can’t anymore!” Tears were forming in her eyes, still holding onto Sam’s hand.

“Hey, you got this babygirl.” 

(Y/n) turned her head the opposite direction of Sam and stared at the love of her life, “Dean..”

“(Y/n), you got this.” he grabbed her hand, “You’re the strongest woman I know, so you push that kid out and be the best mother in the world!” he shouted. He then leaned to her ear and whispered, “I love you.”

She nodded and took a deep breath before pushing one last time.

--------------------------------------------

“Mary!!” 

Giggling could be heard around the house hold, along with Miracle’s barks. 

“Mary Deana Winchester you get your butt in here and put your shoes on now!” (Y/n) shouted. “No! Momma, no!” 

(Y/n) stood in the living room arms crossed, wearing a simple black dress, her hair up and heels. “Mary please, I promise you and I can have a burger night and watch any movie of your choice.” 

Suddenly, a little girl around the age of 4 made her way into the living room, Miracle following behind. “Can we watch Frozen..?” (Y/n) laughed, “Of course.” she made her way to the couch and sat down, watching as Mary grabbed her shoes and climbed up on the couch. 

“Alright little one, ready to go?” she asked, hearing Mary’s little yes in response. (Y/n) picked the little girl up, grabbed her purse and began to make her way out the door.

“You two look beautiful, especially you.”

(Y/n) looked at Dean and smiled, “You’re always for flattering, Winchester.”

He chuckled, “I know.”

“Bye Miracle! We’ll be back soon buddy.”

“Sorry we took a bit! Somebody didn’t wanna put her shoes on.” She spoke. 

“It’s fine! As long as my best man and flower girl is here.” Sam smiled and gave Mary a hug before hugging (Y/n). “Ahem, I’d prefer best lady” she smirked. Sam rolled his eyes, “Hey no matter what you are the best huh?”, “Well of course I am!” she smiled at the younger Winchester’s remark.

“Ah, she looks so cute!” (Y/n) whispered to Sam as Mary walked down the isle happily spreading rose petals around, even handing a few people some directly in their hands. He nodded in agreement. 

“Mommy?” Mary looked up at (Y/n) as they ate a burger, watching Frozen, the pair still in their outfits from the wedding. “Yes, Mary-Dean?” she looked down at the little girl. “Did daddy like burgers?” she asked.

(Y/n) smiled, “Your daddy LOVED burgers.” 

“Really?” Mary asked, “Yeah.” (Y/n) giggled at the girl, she had mustard on the side of her mouth, “Would make a mess like you too.” she spoke as she wiped the mustard off. 

“Alright kiddo! Come on, it’s time for bed.” 

“Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?” 

“Of course kiddo.”

--------------------------------------------

“I miss you.” 

“I know you do, babe.”

(Y/n) and Dean danced together, it was their wedding. She’d giggle when he’d spin her around and she’s apologize when she’d step on his shoe.

“She asks about you, you know. Mary.”

“Curious about her handsome father?”

She rolled her eyes, “Of course.”

Dean dipped her and pulled her back up. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek, her nose, her other cheek, and stopped.

“Hey! You missed the lips buddy.” she spoke. “I know.”

Dean placed his hands on her shoulders, a sad look on his face. “Why haven’t you let go yet?”

“What..?”

“Let go. LET GO. LET GO. LET GO.-”

“Mommy wake up!!” Mary shouted. 

“Wha? Huh?” (Y/n) looked at her daughter, “What is it Mary?” she asked

“You were crying in your sleep..”

--------------------------------------------

“Mary Deana Winchester! It is 12am, your curfew is 10:30 and you know that!”

“Sorry mom, jeez, I was just hanging out with friends.” Mary responded.

“I get that but I told you if you were gonna even be 5 minutes late to text me! Something could’ve happened to you and I wouldn’t know!” (Y/n) shouted.

“Jesus mom calm down! You act like monsters exist, I was just with friends, Avery remember?” Mary spoke. 

(Y/n) scoffed, “I know you weren’t with Avery, she stopped by asking for you while you were gone.” She crossed her arms.

“Fine mom, I was with Tyler what’s it matter?”

“Mary-Dean you know I don’t trust that boy!” 

“I don’t care! It’s my life!”

“Don’t you raise your voice at me little girl.” (Y/n) was furious at this point, which she hated. She hated yelling at Mary cause when she looked into her eyes she always saw Dean’s eyes.

“I can if I want to! And you know what! Sometimes I wish it was you instead of dad. He would’ve been cooler than you in this situation.” Mary made her way upstairs to her room, unaware that her sentence affected (Y/n) greatly. 

“You know she didn’t mean it, babe.”

“It doesn’t matter, Dean. It still hurt.” she placed her hand on her arm and rubbed it, the same way he would when she was upset.

“She’s just a teenager.” he spoke.

“I miss her being small.” (Y/n) turned to the male figure, “And I miss you.” 

--------------------------------------------

Mary and Dean, Sam’s son, always got along, no matter the 4 year age difference. Ever since Sam got married and (Y/n) felt like she wasn’t important to him anymore, they met up every Friday for dinner. Specifically her Dean’s favorite, pizza and burgers.

“Look at those two getting long, how old is Mary again?” Sam asked, beer in his hand.

(Y/n) sighed, “16. Which is so weird to say.” she looked at the kids talking to each other then to Sam. “The other day she said she wish her dad was still here and not me.” 

Sam almost spit up his drink, it wasn’t like he liked to drink a lot of beer anyways, “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” he reassured her. “You’re her only mother, she’s just growing up”

“Yeah and that sucks Sam.” she admitted, “I know, but it happens. We have to deal with it as we get older.” 

(Y/n) scoffed, “Did you just call me old?” Sam raised his hands and shook his head, “No! That’s not what I meant!” She chuckled at his reaction.

Soon, Sam’s wife walked outside with the pizza and burgers. “Mary! Dean! Come dig in!” she shouted.

(Y/n) looked at Sam and Sam looked at her, both with pizza in their hands. 

“Cheers!” they shouted.

“Cheers!”

(Y/n) looked at Dean and smiled.

“Dork.”

--------------------------------------------

Mary came home crying.

“Mary? What’s wrong?” (Y/n) asked as the girl ran to her room and slammed the door. 

She sighed, realizing she may know exactly what happened, what she predicted. 

(Y/n) grabbed the container of ice cream in the fridge and made her way upstairs, “Mary? Love, it’s mom.” she spoke.

“Go away.” Mary responded.    

Silence.

“I got ice cream.”

Just like that the door opened.

She made her way to Mary’s bed and sat down, “What happened, love?” she asked. “You were right about Tyler.” Mary sniffled, “He broke up with me for Avery.”

“Avery? Seriously- you know what I never liked that girl in the first place with that one weird tooth and the way she’d wear pig tails and-” Mary giggled at her mother’s comments and grabbed the ice cream and a spoon form (Y/n)’s hand. 

“I’m sorry about what I said 2 weeks ago..” Mary paused. “I love you mom.”

“I love you too, Mary.” she kissed Mary’s forehead and they both dug in.

“Ya know, I’d beat that Tyler kid’s ass for hurting my little girl.”

(Y/n) giggled “ I know you would Dean.”

“I know you would.”

--------------------------------------------

(Y/n) never thought she’d live to see the day. She always thought it was gonna be her next, not Sam.

She sat there in the church, Mary by her side, holding onto her hand.

She really couldn’t believe it. While most told her she was lucky to outlive the Winchester’s, they didn’t understand that- she never wanted to. She’s still living her life, she watched the people she’s loved pass and it affected her a lot. Especially today, being Sam’s funeral. 

“Come on mom.” Mary began, “Let’s get you home.”

Mary helped (Y/n) into the car and began to drive her home. She couldn’t help but notice her mother’s look on her face, “You okay ma?”

(Y/n) simply shook her head, “Both of my best friend’s are gone Mary..” 

Mary’s face was full of sorrow, she really did feel sorry for her mother. “Mom? Can I ask you something?” “Hm..?”

“Even after I was born, after all these years.. why did you never date? Never move on?” Mary asked.

(Y/n) looked at her before looking out the window, “No one could ever replace your father. He was the best and..” she paused, “Truly the love of my life.”

“As you are mine, sweetheart.” Dean smirked. 

--------------------------------------------

Mary sat there sadly, she knew the day would come but she never wanted it to.

                                                 (Y/n) (L/n)

                                Loving mother. Loving daughter.

Tears rolled down Mary’s cheek, “I love you mommy.” she spoke. 

She never thought that someone could truly die from a broken heart.

That’s what got to (Y/n), a broken heart. Mary knew her mother lived a eventful life, so it was no surprised when she processed what she had died from. Although she was sad now, she knew her mother was happy. She knew she was up in heaven with the Winchester brothers.

--------------------------------------------

(Y/n) walked around confusingly, she didn’t know where she was at but she did know she was young again. She stared at her hands and touched her (h/c) hair once again, no longer gray.

“(Y/n)?” a voice called out.

She turned out, “B-Bobby?” she asked.

The man chuckled, “Well it’s about damn time you got here.”

She tilted her head a bit, “Here?”

He smiled, “Heaven silly.” Bobby chuckled once again at (Y/n)’s reaction, “Yeah, ‘long time ago for you Jack changed the place up. We’re all together here.”

(Y/n)’s mouth opened a bit, “We’re?” Bobby nodded and began pointing, “Rufus lives there, The boys parents there.. speaking of the boys Dean sure damn hell has been waitin for you.”

Her eyes got teary, “Dean?”

“That’s my name doll, don’t wear it out.” 

“DEAN!” (Y/n) shouted and ran towards the male, jumping on him for a hug which thankfully he caught her.

“Sammy and I been waiting for you baby. Matter of fact we were just talking about you.” he admitted.

(Y/n) wasn’t even listening to him, just kissing him all over his face.

“Oh Dean! I’ve missed you!” 

“And I’ve missed you too (Y/n)” 

Dean planted a sweet kiss on her lips and pulled away, “Come on! Sammy and I are having burgers and beer tonight!”

She just smiled, “I love you, Dean Winchester,”

He smirked, “I love you most, (Y/n) (L/n).”

You and me, always forever.

We could stay alone together.

Author’s Note: OH MY GOODNESS I WROTE THIS IN A DAY. I was in fact, on a roll. I’m not even gonna lie I teared up writing the end cause Dean deserved so much :( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoyed the story! My hands hurt not aha! 

[padme-parker]

Keep On Loving You [AU!Anakin Skywalker x Reader]

Summary: After breaking up with Anakin nearly 5 years ago, you see him again.

Word Count: 6.1k+

Warnings: um angst, mentions of pregnancy and abortion, Anakin is an asshole in this one, fluff if you squint

A/N: This is a song fic, so listen to the cover of “Keep On Loving You” by Cigarettes After Sex while reading this! 

Also, I was never gonna post this but I wanna supply ya’ll with content while I try (and horribly fail) to write ch 3 of Collide. Fun Fact: This was actually THE first fic I ever wrote and completed (so don’t have high expectations lmaooo)

Walking into the grocery store, you noticed it was more crowded than usual. It was odd, you thought, no one ever really comes to your local grocer. You brushed it off, continuing your shopping. Although you shopped here often, the workers rarely changed where the items were located. You had already familiarized yourself with the baking aisle, so imagine your surprise when you realized the flour was now on the top shelf. You tried to grab it by hopping, but that didn’t work out. As you started to climb the shelves, a hand reached out and grabbed it for you.

“Thank you!” You replied cheerfully. You hadn’t even had the chance to turn around before you heard a quiet, “No problem.” Your body had tensed up. You could recognize that voice anywhere, it didn’t matter that five years had already gone by.

“Ani?” You turned slowly, hoping your ears weren’t deceiving you.

“Y/N?” The warmth had left your face, you tried to blink back the tears. The air had left your body, suddenly you couldn’t remember how to breathe. “Hey, Anakin.” You said with a faint smile

“My god! It is you Y/N. How are you?” You were surprised he had even remembered you.

“I’m good, just buying some stuff for myself.” you replied.

“Flour? I don’t recall you being into baking when we were together..”

“Oh, yeah. It’s something I..uh.. Picked up on after you left. I was just actually getting some ingredients for some cookies. What about you, how are you doing?” You told him, you couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes, so you chose to admire the floor instead.

“I’m doing pretty good, I would go into full details but I don’t want to disturb you.” He said, “Actually, how about we go grab a cup of coffee?” After he said that, you lifted your head to look at him. He must’ve thought the face you made was funny because the corner of his lips started to quirk up.

“Yeah, okay. Let me just pay for this and we can go. Same place?” Anakin simply nodded his head, and with that you were off.

-

You let out a loud laugh, amused by one of Anakin’s stories. It felt like everything was right. As if the two of you never broke up, just like the old times. You wrapped your hands around the warm drink, trying to warm up your hands.

“So why are you back in New York, Anakin? I thought you were in Los Angeles for your acting career.” You paused, unsure what to say next.. “Congrats by the way, I know how much it means to you.” Although it hurt to say it, you were truly proud of his accomplishments. You turned to look at him and for the first time, you admired his appearance. His hair had gotten longer and his eyes were brighter now.

“About that, I’m here for my wedding!” For the second time today, the air left your body. You felt as though the world around you was now crumbling to pieces. It might’ve been five years, but you could never be able to stop loving Anakin.

“W-wow, really? Who’s the lucky lady?” You asked, you tried to keep your emotions in check. Now was not the time to cry.

“Her name is Padme, she’s an actress, just like me. It’s funny, we were both working on the same movie, our characters were in love with each other but I could’ve sworn she hated me. Well one thing led to another and now we’re going to get married.” A grin made its way onto Anakin’s face, “What about you Y/N, find anyone special?”

You hesitated before speaking, “No not really, I’ve been busy with work, taking care of my dogs and-” The shrill tone of Anakin’s phone cut you off, “Hold on, Padme’s calling..” He then proceeded to answer, giving you a sheepish look. You could faintly hear her on the phone, she had been panicking which caused Anakin to swiftly tidy up, “Okay, okay Padme, calm down, I’ll be there soon.” He gave you an apologetic look before getting up. “Do you.. Um… perhaps wanna go? To the wedding?” He asked you.

“Me? Ani, you want me to go?” You were curious, the two of you hadn’t spoken for almost five years, why in the world would Anakin want you there?

“Of course I do Y/N/N, how could I not?” You swallowed the lump in your throat before nodding. In return, a bright smile was given. “Great, I’ll send an invitation to your address” you quickly corrected him, “Actually, Anakin, I don’t live there anymore.” He let out a quick oh in response. Getting out a pen from your purse, you wrote down your address on a napkin before handing it to him.

He took a brief glance at it before shoving it in his pocket, “See you tonight?” You were caught off guard, “W-what?” you asked.

“To give you the invitation I mean.” He replied

You let out the breath you were holding, “Oh yeah, I guess I’ll see you tonight.” He gave you a swift nod accompanied by a smirk, and then he was gone.

-

By the time night came, you had completely forgotten that Anakin was going to stop by, too engrossed with the cookies you were baking. You were just about to take out the cookies when the bell rang. With a curse, you threw down the rag and ran to the door. Hastily opening the door, you were greeted by Anakin.

“Hey, thanks for coming by. It really means a lot to me, Anakin” You told him

“It really is no big deal y/n, and it would mean a lot to me if you came to my wedding.” Anakin then pulled an invitation out, “The wedding is on Saturday, the ceremony starts at 3pm.” Given that it was Tuesday, you had three days to find a suitable outfit. Or just rummage through your closet and find whatever was good enough.

“Look, I would invite you in Anakin, but I’m currently busy. Sorry” Your eyebrows were raised and gave him a shrug, “Gotta go, my cookies are gonna burn!” You shut the door on him before he could respond. You pressed your back against the door and took a deep breath to compose yourself before going back to your cookies. Seeing that your cookies were about to be burned, you quickly took them out.

“Who was at the door?” Asked your roommate

“HOLY SHIT! What the hell, Steve. Are you a ninja now?” You whisper screamed, taking a quick glance at him only to realize he was nearly naked, “And why in the world are you almost naked Steve?”

“It doesn’t matter. Oooh, are those cookies?” Before you could reply he grabbed one and shoved the hot cookie in his mouth. “So are you gonna tell me who that was?”

“No one, just a-- it was nobody.” you say, trying to sound convincing. Steve then gave you a pointed look, indicating that he would wait all night for the truth if he had to. Giving in, you told him who he was. “That was..he’s..” your eyes begin to tear up, “Anakin, it was him. He was just inviting me to his wedding.” It seems like all you did now was cry. You didn’t understand why you were crying, it’s been five years. You should be over him by now.

“Anakin, as in Anakin Skywalker the-” you cut him off, “Yes, that’s him.” The tears were coming out of you like a river now. He let out a soft sigh before taking you in his embrace, he knew what had happened between you and Anakin.

You had been waiting all night for Anakin to come home. You knew that he was close to landing a lead role, so you had wanted to prepare a nice dinner for his efforts along with sharing some good news of your own. Just as you pulled the chicken out of the oven, the front door opened. Anakin set down his stuff with a sigh, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around you.

For a moment, you let yourself get lost in his embrace. You enjoyed the warmth he emitted, snuggling closer to him. Anakin was the first person you had ever truly loved. No one could ever compare to him.

“So, how’d it go Ani?” Expecting another rejection, you turned to cup his face. However you were proved wrong when a smile lit up the room. “I got it baby! I did it!” He screamed, lifting you up and placing kisses on your face. You screamed along with him, you were happy that he was finally being recognized for his talent.

“Anakin, that’s amazing!” You were jumping with joy, “I made roast chicken, let's discuss over dinner.” You began to plate the chicken along with the honey roasted carrots and potatoes. Anakin set up the plates and cutlery, getting two wine glasses and your favorite bottle of wine. Once you saw that he finished setting up, you put the chicken and sides down on the table. Taking out a knife, you cut out a piece of breast meat for him. You were quite excited for this meal, you tried a new recipe, resulting in the chicken looking juicy and flavorful. You then served yourself before sitting down. Anakin reached for the bottle of wine, pouring himself a glass first before reaching over to grab yours.

“Actually, Ani, I think I’ll stick with water tonight.” He gave you a questioning look, “I’m quite parched, and although I’d love a glass right now, water seems like the only thing that can quench my thirst. Thank you though.” He got up to get you a glass of water before returning to his seat.

“So, tell me about it Ani.” You started the conversation

“Well y/n/n, everything about it was great. After auditioning I was sure I wasn’t going to get a call back, but they did baby! They called me and wanted to discuss the role with me.” He continued, “We have to start filming soon but..” He paused

“But what, Ani?” you implored

“I’m going to be gone for a long time y/n, in Los Angeles…” that surprised you, he was supposed to be gone in LA while you were in NYC, “How long Anakin?” you asked, afraid of his answer.

“Almost a year, my flight leaves tomorrow at 4:35pm” you froze, how were you supposed… what if… you couldn’t think, so many thoughts and questions were running through your mind.

“Ani, you’re going to spend a whole year in Los Angeles..away from me.”

“Y/n, it doesn’t have to be that way.” He reassured you, “You can come with me, we can still be together.” He must have been joking, there was no way you were going to leave. “Anakin, you know I can’t! Everything that I’ve built for my career is here!”

“If you come with me, we can rebuild our future together. Nothing will stop us, we won’t have anything to worry about. Imagine it, you and I, walking down the red carpet together. Hand in hand.” You were appalled, was that all he really cared about? The fame and fortune?

“You can’t be serious right now, Anakin! Is that all you care about? The money and fame that comes with being an actor? We both know that the world doesn’t give two shits about people like us!” You screamed, your chest was heaving now.

“People like us? What do you even mean by that? Are you insinuating that I’ll never be successful?” By now his eyes were wide open, gone was the supposed celebratory night.

“No- Anakin you’re putting words into my mouth, I-” “THEN WHAT Y/N? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY MEAN?” You took a deep breath before opening your mouth, “Ani, all I’m saying is that the people don’t care about nobodies, and they never will.”

“But that’s the thing y/n, everyone starts as a nobody, yet the only person who can change that is yourself. I’m sorry but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in me.” His eyes glistened with tears, he sniffled quietly, “I’ll come back for my stuff tomorrow before I leave, but I can’t stay here tonight.” The awkward squeaking of his chair broke you out of your trance, you watched as he put on his jacket and collected his keys. Just as he was walking out the door he paused, “You know y/n, I would’ve gone anywhere in the world for you. I just wished you’d done the same for me.” He said before softly closing the door.

You got up from your seat and walked towards your bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, you let out a defeated sigh. You scanned the room, only now noticing how much of it was filled with Anakin’s things. His scent still lingered in the air. You didn’t realise you were crying until you felt a tear drop onto your hands. You wiped away the tears before reaching under your side of the bed and taking out a box. Gently grasping the picture, you took it out of the box before starting to cry again, “It was supposed to be us together, forever.”

“So what’re going to do y/n? Are you actually going to his wedding?” Steve questioned you. In response you gave him a shrug. You knew it was wrong of you to go, but Anakin had personally invited you himself. Even though the two of you hadn’t talked to each other for half of a decade, he was still someone you cared about. Hell, you and Anakin grew up together as best friends, you had to be there for him. It was the least you could do. “Yeah, I’m going, Steve.”

-

The day of the wedding, you woke up nervous. Who wouldn't be, the ex you’re still madly and deeply in love with was going to get married to someone that wasn’t you. You called out for Steve but got no reply. You let out a sigh before getting up to get your phone to text him.

You: Hey, wya?

Steve: Good Morning y/n, I’m currently out. I won’t be home until later today, sorry bug :((

You: What! I was relying on you to watch my kids

Steve: I know, I know, sowwy. Maybe you can text the babysitter?

You left Steve on read to quickly text your babysitter.

You: JAR JAR!

JJ: Yo, wassup. What can I do for you today? 

You: Can you take care of my precious children today? Pretty please!!!

JJ: Of course I can, I’d love to.

You: Great thanks JJ! Please be here before 2:05pm :)

You were grateful that you had Jar Jar on days like this, while you hadn’t spent much time with him, you trusted him enough with your kids. Hopping into the shower, you washed your hair and body, letting the warm water and steam unwind you a little. By the time you were done showering it had been 11:35am, leaving a couple hours to get ready and maybe have a little snack.

Walking over to your closet, you pulled out a satin champagne dress. It had a low cut, showing a little cleavage. The fabric on the left side of your hip wrapped around your body, coming back up to where it started, giving you a slight slit. Then you moved onto makeup, deciding on going for a simple look. After applying your foundation, concealer, and contour, you moved onto the upper half of your face. You carefully filled in your brows, making sure each swipe was precise. Taking a spoolie, you blended the brow product ensuring that your brows weren’t so harsh looking. Next, you took your favorite mascara and applied it to your lashes. While there was some volume, you decided to put on some eyelashes so your eyes didn’t look so naked compared to the rest of your face. You moved onto blush and highlight, deciding on whatever complimented your skin. For the finishing touch, you chose a mauve-nude lipstick along with a glittery lipgloss. As for hair, you slicked it back, putting it into a nice tight low bun. By the time you were finished, the clock was at 1:25pm. It took you nearly two hours to get ready, but you still had time to accessorize and grab a snack.

You grabbed the first gold necklace you could find and put it on, along with a pair of dangly earrings. The house was quiet, so you assumed that the dogs were still asleep or taking a nap. Creeping into the kitchen, you settled on having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a cup of yogurt for breakfast. Something quick and easy, it would keep you sustained until the eating portion of the wedding. If you had to be real, that was the one thing you were looking forward to. I mean who doesn’t love free food? After cleaning up, you went back to your room taking a quick second to check up on the sleeping beast on your bed. Seeing as it was still asleep, you went to the closet and pulled out a jacket along with strappy gold heels. It was nearing 2pm so you picked up your purse and made sure you had everything you needed. Makeup? Check. Phone? Check. Keys? Check. Invitation? Check. You walked into the bathroom and checked yourself out one last time. As you were heading towards the door, the doorbell rang, signaling Jar Jar’s arrival. You went to open it and invited him in.

“Alright Jar Jar, I’ve gotta run. You know where the food is if they get hungry, they’ve been napping for a while now so they might wake up soon, you know the drill.” You told him

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve got this under control. I’ve done this like a hundred times, duh.” He announced, you smiled at him. He never failed to lift your mood with his sarcastic and goofy attitude. You gave him one last nod before grabbing your keys out of your purse to lock the door.

Hopping into your car, you typed the address into your phone and started the journey to the venue. It took about 25 minutes to get there, you arrived at 2:30, giving you some time to find parking and a seat at the ceremony. The event was pretty big, given that both Anakin and Padme were famous, there had been many guests. You chose a seat in the middle of all the chairs, not too close yet not too far. You looked around, trying to spot anyone you knew but you couldn’t find anyone. Just as you were about to go on your phone to pass the time you felt someone sit awfully close to you. You looked up realizing who it was.

“Anakin!” You were surprised, shouldn’t he be up at the front? “Why’re sitting next to me? Aren’t you supposed to be at the front?” You took a glance at him, noticing how well his tux fit him.

“Well yeah, but I’m nervous y/n/n..” he replied. “What, why? Isn’t this supposed to be the happiest day of your life..?” you asked, you were starting to have second thoughts, maybe you shouldn’t have come after all. “I guess… listen I gotta go now, but you’ll be at the reception yeah?” you nodded, then he got up and walked away.

Before you knew it, music was starting to play but no one walked in yet, signalling that they were going to begin shortly. You took the time to admire the venue, there was a light lace fabric spanning from wall to wall, acting as a backdrop. The venue itself was a beautiful, dark brick building. Strewn around the room were fairy lights, making the atmosphere warmer. At the ends of every row were lanterns, containing light pink rocks and a burning candle. Across the aisle laid a white runway, each side having flower petals scattered, but left a clear path for the bridal party to walk down.

The doors swiftly opened and the music changed pace, one by one the bridal party began to walk down the aisle until the only person left was the bride. Each bridesmaid wore a different style of dress that complimented their style, but the color remained the same. Noticing that everyone was standing up, you stood up too, straightening out your dress. The orchestra played Canon in D, a wedding classic. Turning to Padme, you first took in her beauty. Her hair was curled to perfection, tied back only leaving a few hairs to frame her face. Her features were soft and angelic looking, you really couldn’t tell if she was wearing makeup or not. Your eyes drifted to her dress, it was truly magnificent. It was white with ivory detailing, her flowy sleeves made of lace. It was as if she was an angel sent from the heavens. You continued to admire her, then your eyes fell to her swollen belly, one hand clasped over it while the other was holding her bouquet. You were shocked to the core, Anakin really didn’t love you anymore, did he? Of course, you weren’t a silly girl, you knew that he was going to move on from you, but you hadn’t expected this.

Just as Padme took Anakin’s hand, you flopped down into your chair. The remainder of the guests sat down too, commencing the ceremony.

“Friends and family, we are joined here today to celebrate the wedding of Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker.” Hold on, wait a second. Was that Obi Wan? Your whole body perked up, looking for the strawberry blonde. You were surprised that they chose Obi Wan to be their officiant. Given the fact that they’re both famous, you’d assume they’d have an actual priest at their wedding. To ya’know, keep up their reputation and appeal to their audience. 

You should've seen by the look in my eyes, that there was something missing.

“Marriage is a pathway to a promise between two beings. That they will always love and trust each other. Creating a bond that can never be broken. So I’ll ask this now before we continue. If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.” For a minute, the world around you stopped. All you could see was him, your Anakin. His eyes met your gaze, as if it was a silent plea.

Tearing your eyes away from him, you sunk into your seat. Oh gods, why did you just have to go to the store while Anakin was in town. All of this could’ve been avoided if you had just gone shopping on Monday, but who the hell goes grocery shopping on a Monday?

“Alright, now that we have that out of the way, let's allow the bride and groom to share a few words.” Obi Wan handed the microphone to Anakin.

You should've known by the tone of my voice, but you didn't listen.

“You know Padme, never in a million years did I think I’d be getting married.” ouch, “Let alone to the girl of my dreams.” wow, it seems like Anakin was trying to make you more miserable than you already were. “So it’s so amazing that I’m standing here today, with you. Within the five years I’ve known you, three of them consisting of us being together, I’ve come to know what type of person you are. Padme is selfless, loving, and strong-willed. After our first movie together, I just knew that I had to have her. Every time I’d ask you out on a date, you’d laugh and say ‘Ask me tomorrow, Anakin’” cue the laughing, “so that’s what I did. Finally when you said yes, I felt like I was going to explode with excitement. After our first date, I just knew that I would love you forever, Padme.”

‘Cause it was us baby way before them.

The sun was softly shining through your curtains, you felt a hand brushing through your hair. Letting out a soft groan, the hand stopped, “Oh, please don’t stop on my account, Ani.” You looked up at him, a smile forming on his lips, “Good morning, angel.” You gave him a quick peck before saying good morning back, getting up to get ready for the day.

“So what’s the plan for today, Anakin?” You asked from the bathroom, picking up your toothbrush you applied tooth paste then proceeded to brush your teeth. Anakin’s arms suddenly wrapped around your torso, his chin resting on your head. “How about you go treat yourself, go shopping, maybe hang out with some friends, and when you come home, I’ll have dinner ready. How does that sound?” You pondered for a minute before nodding your head.

By the time you had arrived home, it was already 6:50pm. Unlocking the door, a delicious smell wafted from the kitchen. First you took off your shoes, leaving them by the door. Next came your jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. You snuck up behind Anakin, wrapping your arms around his neck. You could say sneaky snuggles were a daily thing in your relationship. “Whatcha cookin good lookin?” Anakin let out a snort, “Only the best for my girlfriend. How about you go sit down while I bring the food to the table.” You turned to the table, noticing everything was already set up. You took your seat just as Anakin laid down the meal. Chicken parmesan with homemade lasagna.

“Oh Ani, my favorite! You didn’t have to, what’s the occasion?” You squealed

“No reason, like I said, only the best for my girl.” He smiled, lifting up his wine glass, you mirrored his actions, “I’d like to make a toast dedicated to you, my lovely, beautiful, amazing girlfriend. I love you, forever.” 

And I meant every word I said, when I said that I love you, I meant that I love you forever.

You were full on blushing now, “I love you too, Ani. A toast, to forever.” The two of you joined glasses, a clink echoed in the near quiet apartment.

You were awoken from your flashback by loud applause, did you just daydream during the remainder of the wedding? You turned to the old lady next to you, “Is it over?” She turned to look at you, appalled by your appearance but nodded nonetheless. “Oh am I crying,” awkward laugh, “I always cry at weddings..” You turned to look away and instead focused on the bride and groom newly wedded husband and wife making their way down the aisle. Both adorning smiles on their faces.

The guests were ushered outside near an open bar area. You were encouraged to take pictures but chose to watch the workers as they changed the venue from ceremony mode to reception mode. You noticed they kept most of the decorations, only adding circular tables and necessities. The lanterns now became centerpieces while the flowers scattered down the aisle were now randomly placed across the room. There was a long, rectangular table arranged in front of the white backdrop. Obviously for Padme and Anakin, along with their bridal party and family. You looked around quickly before leaving to go to the bathroom. Once there you took a deep breath and looked at yourself in the mirror. A gasp left your mouth, your looks were beyond atrocious. You closed your mouth before you could catch any flies and touched up your makeup.

Walking out of the bathroom you had nearly made it to the bar before you stumbled into somebody, “Hello there.” Seems like you couldn’t run away from your past, “Hello, Obi Wan. How are you?” After asking him, the two of you had spent the next fifteen minutes catching up on eachothers lives. Finally, the staff had announced that the tables were ready. Obi Wan promptly excused himself, now by yourself you went to go find your seat. To make your life easier, you went to the table where they had a list of names and where you could find your seat. You were sat at table three, pretty close to the front for someone who R.S.V.P.ed at the last second.

When you got to your table, you noticed there were already some people seated, none that you knew though. Sitting down, you began to mingle with your peers. Making small talk until the buffet was ready.

It took a while, but dinner was finally ready to start. You’d waited all day for this moment and you couldn’t wait. Once your table was dismissed, you got in line with a plate in your hand. The first thing you noticed was the variety, which was a good thing for you because you could eat to your heart's content. After making yourself a plate, you went back to your table to eat. You shoveled the delicious food into your mouth, hoping to get a second plate but you were interrupted by the clinking of glass. Toast time you thought to yourself, a frown upon your face. Darn, you were really keen on getting that second plate.

You zoned out during the toasts and eventually their first dance, all you could think about was getting out of this damn dress. You couldn’t wait to go home and take a hot shower while crying your eyes out. Coming back to the real world, you noted how everyone was standing up, crowding around Padme and Anakin as a cake was placed in front of them. Great, I really need to stop zoning out.

“Okay, before we continue with the cake cutting, I’d just like to say that not only is this cake to celebrate our marriage, but it’s also our gender reveal cake!” fuck, Fuck, FUCK..you really shouldn’t have come. God you’re so stupid, I mean why the fuck would would anyone think going to your exs wedding is a good idea. The room fell silent, anticipating the color of the cake. Gasps were let out when the piece of cake was shown. Pink and blue? Are they having- “Twins! We’re having twins!” Anakin shouted. You couldn’t breathe, you needed fresh air. You hurriedly stepped outside, choosing to sit down on a bench to try and collect your breath.

You must’ve been outside for a while because before you knew it, Anakin was sitting next to you. “What’re doing out here, Anakin? Shouldn’t you be inside dancing with your wife?” You asked.

“I wish..” Anakin scoffed, his eyebrows were furrowed deep in thought. “What do you mean? This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. You just married the woman you love for crying out loud!” You protested.

Anakin let out a sigh, “Yeah, that’s just the thing. Padme was never supposed to get pregnant. We were never supposed to get married. The only reason why I proposed was because our agencies thought it would be good for our reputation.” This was some shocking news, you thought they truly loved each other. Well Anakin at least, you couldn’t speak for Padme.

“You know, the day after we broke up when I came to collect my belongings, I waited for you. I knew you were gone, waiting for me to finally leave. But I waited for you. For as long as I could.” You had no idea why Anakin was telling you this. Why would he bring something like this up… unless… no, it wasn’t possible.

When Anakin entered his your apartment, the first thing he noticed was how quiet it was. Sure, it was still morning, but you weren’t someone to sleep past 10 am. You had always enjoyed getting up early. It was before noon, so Anakin had just assumed you were out for brunch. He began to collect some of his belongings, only taking what was necessary. He didn’t want to take any of the pictures, just in case you missed him enough and wanted to longingly stare at them. So instead he took out his phone and took a photo of every picture he liked. The good, the bad, and the ugly; Anakin wanted to remember all of it. Entering your room, Anakin was quick to take what he needed. He almost left before he remembered the most important thing to him, his mother's ring. Anakin knew he couldn’t leave without so he went to find it. He searched high and low until he came across a box under the bed. Although the two of you were together, he never went through your things without permission. But Anakin was desperate, so he opened the box.

At first he was unsure of what he was looking at. Sure, the picture was simply black and white but he just couldn’t figure out what it was. Until his eyes drifted to the upper left hand corner, containing your full name, medical information, and the date. Was this what he thought it was? Were you pregnant? He took the ultrasound into his hands, forgetting about the ring.

He swore that at that very moment, he could’ve cried, and he did. What was he going to do now? He didn’t know if he should’ve waited for you to return or leave. On one hand he would be starting a family with you while on the other he would be following his dreams.

“So, you knew? That I was pregnant?” Anakin nodded his head, “..and you still chose to leave?” The words felt heavy on your tongue. “Believe me, I wanted to stay. For god's sake, y/n, I waited there for you. For HOURS! By the time I had to leave you still weren’t back. I had to choose between my passion and you. It wasn’t easy to make the decision, but you weren’t there and my future was awaiting me.” Anakin’s voice was quivering, it hurt him to think about this.

“Anakin, can I ask you a question?” Anakin nodded his head, motioning for you to go on. “The night we broke up, if I had told you that I was pregnant; would you have stayed?” His mouth opened as if he was going to answer, only for it to snap shut. Tears welled up in your eyes, you had your answer, “You know what, it doesn’t matter, it’s not like I kept the baby.” You shook your head, not wanting to cry in front of Anakin. You stood up, gathering your things and left without uttering another word to him. Everything he said to you was a lie, because if he had really loved you, he would’ve stayed.

And I'm gonna keep on loving you, because it's the only thing I wanna do.

-

By the time you had gotten home, you had much time to think. You’d spent the past five years dreaming of that exact moment. You would’ve told him you were pregnant, and in return he would’ve chosen to be with you. The two of you would get married and live a happy life with your children. But those dreams were shattered by the harsh reality. Anakin wouldn’t have stayed and he wouldn’t have married you.

Moving into the bathroom, you removed your makeup, seeing as it was ruined by your tears, again. Taking off your clothes, you hopped into the hot shower. You were going to cry but decided to give your eyes a rest since you had basically cried all the way home. After changing into your pajamas you creeped into your room.. Slowing making your way to bed, you got under the covers. Once you had almost fallen asleep, you felt something lay on your chest. You gently started stroking her hair, “Sorry, did I wake you, Shani?” you asked softly, a quiver in your voice.

“No, it’s okay momma. I was waiting for you to get home.” Her voice was quiet and delicate. “Are you okay momma?” Although she was barely five, she was a smart girl. She looked up, noticing your eyes were swollen. She must’ve heard the falter in your voice.

“Of course I am Ani, I’ve got my little angel with me.” She gently laid her head back down, her small arms doing their best to wrap around you. You continued stroking her hair until her breathing evened out, signalling she was asleep.

Soon after, you found yourself dozing off to the thought of what could’ve been.

I don't wanna sleep, I just wanna keep on loving you.

[cuttlefishkitch]

hello! i haven't talked to you before, but ron said that i could ask you for some advice on writing eds? (i'd like to know things to avoid/common things that could come up in everyday life that would be good to mention/the sort of aids and stuff they'd have maybe?/anything else you think is relevant)

Hi! Sorry this took so long, a combination of ADHD and chronic pain slowed me way the fuck down. Thank you for being patient! 

EDIT: WEIRD HEEL THINGS I FORGOT!!

So, before I get into this I should probably say I technically haven’t been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS for anyone reading) because it’s one of those syndromes that takes forever to get diagnosed with (it took a friend of mine’s mother over 30 years to get dxed). Many doctors, and everyone I know who does have EDS agree with me that it’s probably what causes my chronic joint pain and some of my other chronic issues. But just because three separate doctors have said “Yeah Probably” doesn’t mean I’m diagnosed!! Only a geneticist can do that!! And they had two-three year waitlists BEFORE the apocalypse happened.

I am diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Small Fiber Neuropathy, and potentially misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia (once I get properly tested for EDS I might get undiagnosed with this because I don’t have most of the main symptoms of Fibro, but I got diagnosed with it anyway because it’s what doctors misDX you with when they don’t know what’s wrong with you and don’t want to do more tests).

All that said, I’ve done a lot of research about EDS (mainly because it’s the only thing that explains all my symptoms since doctors seem incapable of doing so), and know a few people who have either confirmed or suspected EDS, so I’ll link to some stuff, talk about the symptoms that often come with EDS, explain how the symptoms I have affect me, because just because someone’s not diagnosed doesn’t mean they aren’t having symptoms, and probs elaborate a bit about writing physical disabilities and chronic pain in general because it’s super important to me! 

So RESOURCES aka how to make sure your post never sees the light of day because you’re linking things and tumblr hates it when people give other people information!!

Youtubers! If you want to know about the day to day of living with EDS or any disability or chronic illness I super suggest finding a youtuber that makes videos about their life. My EDS favorites are

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Annie Elainey

Amy Lee Fisher

Websites! If you’re asking random folks on tumblr I’m assuming (and hoping) you’ve already done the basic WebMD google searches and looked over the seemingly ridiculous lists of symptoms and related conditions, so here are a few websites that are made more for people than for doctors.

The Ehlers Danlos Society

OhTWIST (That’s Why I’m So Tired)

ChronicPainPartners (the fact that they have an entire section of articles called “Dealing with Doctors” should really tell you something)

Books! If you feel like doing actual reading! I suggest reading books written by people with Ehlers Danlos, to get a feel for how they portray themselves. I’m not saying steal, but it’s probably a good point of comparison to see how your portrayal feels. (haven’t actually read these b/c my ADHD doesn’t let me read)

Ria Ruse by Morgan S. Ray (a superhero book with a disabled super MC!!)

Mysteries of Maybelle by Imani Benfell (Imani is still in high school and has already written and self-published a book cause she didn’t have enough representation for herself how cool is she!!)

Bodies in Motion by Liana Brooks (tw for pregnancy problems and miscarriages in the link, because it’s a blog post talking about integrating EDS symptoms into the story without explicitly naming them as such)

OKAY, now for some rambling about EDS SYMPTOMS!!!

Ehlers Danlos is one monster of a genetic condition in complexity and variety. There are THIRTEEN different identified types of EDS, it often comes with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and/or POTS, and can lead to various other conditions like gastroparesis, chiari malformation, craniocervical instability, and/or bad teeth. So if you’re going to be writing a character with EDS consider what other comorbid conditions they might also have. I’m mainly going to be talking about Hypermobile EDS (hEDS) because it’s what I probably have and what I’m most familiar with. That said there is a lot of overlap in symptoms with the other varieties.

I started typing this section and realized I was going to have to break it down even more so we’re going to talk about Chronic Pain, Unstable Joints (Dislocations and Subluxations), Skin Things, Mobility Issues, and Other Weird Shit and how those things get addressed separately.

Gonna get the Other Weird Shit out of the way first. Because EDS is a malfunction of connective tissue it can fuck up all sorts of random things. For instance, I and many other people w/ hEDS have trouble swallowing. Shit gets stuck in my throat, I sometimes choke on and have to cough up food, and pills can be hard to swallow, which sucks cause I take A Lot Of Pills. If it doesn’t cause full-on gastroparesis it can cause IBS or other digestive problems b/c the digestive tract is mostly made of connective tissue. It can potentially cause heart problems even if they aren’t as big of a risk as in some other forms of EDS. Premature osteoarthritis is common because what you need is more joint pain. And Fatigue OH BOY THE FATIGUE. And of course the headaches, can’t forget those pesky migraines can we!

AND piezogenic papules!! I completely forgot!! Piezogenic papules are little white bumps that appear when you put weight on your heel. In some people they hurt, but in others they don’t. They’re technically tiny little herniations of fat peaking through the fascia in the heel. They were added as part of the diagnostic criteria for hEDS in 2017!

Now for Skin Things cause it’s not as big a thing in hEDS as it is in other forms. Basically, in a lot of forms of EDS, the skin is extra stretchy and extra delicate. It bruises and tears easily, people with the extreme versions of this can accidentally scratch something into an open wound if they aren’t careful. My skin is pretty soft and sensitive, I def have the typical velvety skin, and as is pretty par for the course of someone with hEDS my skin is a little stretchy, and sorta delicate. I’m not as tissue-papery as some people get, but I almost always have at least one mystery bruise or scrape b/c existing is hazardous. Most of scars are also pretty normal, unlike the extremely papery and atrophic scars (though I have a few tiny acne scars that are atrophic) that are common with other kinds of hEDS. Something that I DO have is Lots of Stretch Marks, all over my thighs, and even down to my calves. Which wouldn’t be abnormal, except for the fact that I’ve never been over 145 lbs and I’ve never been pregnant. Having a lot of stretch marks or striations in the skin without due cause happens because the structure of the skin isn’t as strong as it is in people with a normal amount of connective tissue.

I don’t have to worry as much about my skin but people that do are usually very careful with adhesives because they can irritate or tear the skin, which sucks when you need a lot of bandaids cause your darn skin won’t do its job.

Now on to the meatier stuff and since I’m mostly working backward let’s do Mobility Issues!! These can happen in loads of ways, but a lot of what causes these in people with EDS are the other two things I wanna talk about. Unstable joints lead to increased risk of injury when doing stuff people with fully functioning joints can do.

For context, I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk, but a lot of the time it’s better if use a chair. Mine is mostly for my POTS symptoms, but the fact that my legs aren’t also in absolute agony is a big plus. I use a custom manual wheelchair with a SmartDrive (b/c I’m very fucking fortunate and have good insurance) whenever I leave the house and have to be “walking” for more than a few minutes at a time. I can’t fully self-propel in a manual chair because it would be damaging to the joints in my arms and hands, but the smaller chair is easier to maneuver in less than accessible spaces (like almost everywhere). There was about a month-long span where I used a very cheap and very bulky electric chair while I was waiting on the ideal set up I have now. Before that, I also briefly used, and sometimes still use, an up-right posture cane.

People with EDS have widely varying mobility issues because of how uniquely it can manifest. My cane only gave me a little help with balance because if I used it in any prolonged capacity any pain it took away from my legs was relocated to my arms, and as an artist, my arms are more important to me!

If you’re going to write a character with EDS having mobility issues as a result of their EDS the best thing to do is to narrow down their specific needs. Are their knees complete and utter garbage but their shoulders and wrists strong? Maybe they can get away with using a cane. Can they not stand for longer than 5 minutes because of the vertigo from their POTS? Maybe they need a manual wheelchair. Would propelling themself damage their back and arm joints? An electric chair might be necessary! Plenty of people with EDS use all sorts of combinations of these aides to get around their life, consider how your character’s good and bad days would be. Do they have back up plans if they overestimate themselves? There can be a lot to manage, but don’t let it scare you off! Sometimes I try and make it into a resource management game (because I’m a game designer and that’s what I do), to make evaluating my energy and mobility needs more fun!

But now let's tackle some of the reasons those mobility aides might be needed. Unstable Joints.

Ever stepped wrong and rolled your ankle? It hurts for a few steps and then kinda fixes itself, or maybe it bothers you for the rest of the day and you put it up and ice it when you get home? When I was walking around outside my house that would happen AT LEAST once a month, usually more. Some times I’m sitting wrong and when I get up my knee isn’t a knee anymore and decides to just give out from under me. My knuckles are made of unruly popcorn and they Don’t Want To Stay Home!! Oh! And my shoulder is more often out a little out of its socket than it is fully in.

Unstable joints lead to Dislocations and Subluxations of varying intensity, and some people get them more frequently than others. Some can be severe enough to necessitate hospital visits and even surgery, some subluxations are so banal (like my fUCKING SHOULDER) that you just learn to live with the pain.

If a character is going to be in high action, combat-heavy scenarios, chances are they’re going to be popping out joints left and right. Hell, depending on the severity of their joint laxity they could be doing the same sitting at a desk. Again, it’s incredibly varied. I’d suggest setting some sort of baseline for yourself, of what a character’s joints can and can’t stand up to, and maybe do some research on which joints are most likely to pop out in general (hips and shoulders are big culprits being the wacky ball and socket motherfuckers they are). Then maybe have something pop out or hold up every so often when it shouldn’t cause hey! EDS is kinda just like that! Unpredictable!

Some ways people manage joint laxity is with braces, KT tape, and physical therapy. Braces come in many different forms, since I’m currently getting pretty much no treatment for my shitty joints I use mostly compression braces made for sporty people. It really is amazing how much a bit of tight fabric can do to keep my wrist in place.

More specialized braces often have solid parts to prevent the joints from hyper-extending (bending the wrong way) and causing further damage. If you ever see someone with what looks like diamond shaped rings around a bunch of their finger joints, chances are those are Ring Splints, and are there to keep the finger shaped like a finger. I want to get my hands on some and get some on my hands Very Badly, because my fingers hyper-extend SO MUCH when I type, and it makes my hand pain way way worse.

KT tape is another thing people often use. It’s stretchy tape you put on your skin and it basically functions kinda like a second ligament as well as reinforcing the joint and keeping the bones mostly where they’re supposed to be. The problem with this is a lot of people with EDS have very sensitive and fragile skin like I mentioned before, so KT tape can cause allergic reactions, chronic skin irritation, or just straight up take the skin with it when someone goes to remove it. Hence a lot of folks are really careful with it.

Physical Therapy is kinda the best (and only) treatment for joint laxity aside from Very Invasive and sometimes Highly Experimental surgery. It focuses on strengthening the muscles around the joints so they can do the work all those bone ropes made of body glue can’t. The problem is finding a physical therapist that 1) knows what EDS even is, 2) knows you have it, and 3) knows how to treat it without doing stuff that’ll Phucking Hurt You Worse!! Because exercising wrong with EDS can do Permanent Damage!!!

Again most folks use a combination of all of these things, or have next to no access to them b/c healthcare sucks.

Anyway, on to one of my favorite topics, Chronic Pain!! One of the reasons this post took me so long!!!

Chances are if your character has chronic pain as a result of their EDS there are gonna be some things they hate, including stairs, rain, thunderstorms, stairs, hills, uneven terrain, oh and did I mention stairs??? It’s going to vary person to person, but almost everyone I’ve met with pain from EDS has complained about their knees. For me the most debilitating pain is in my fingers and wrists. They’re by far my least stable joints but I use them constantly for stuff like drawing, typing, and sewing.

Because my joint pain is so wide spread, like most people’s with hEDS, it effects every single part of my day to day life. I can’t carry a heavy ceramic plate, open a bottle, or even use my computer without pain. It’s practically impossible for me to get comfortable in any position be it sitting or laying down, and as you can imagine that makes it hard to sleep a lot of the time. Moving too much hurts, but so does sitting still. I’m constantly taking braces on and off or cracking/stretching my joints so they pop back into place and hurt less.

Also being in pain makes everything else That Much Worse. I get tired way faster than I did before my pain was this bad (I had chronic pain for a while before actually realizing it wasn’t normal to not be able to walk down the block without feeling like your foot bones are trying to escape). My sensory issues and anxiety disorder are more easily aggravated because my base level of comfort is way worse. It fucks with my depression. And OH BOY does it make my ADHD worse because being in pain is fucking distracting as hell and makes it harder to make decisions and switch tasks. Also my ADHD often makes my other symptoms worse cause I forget to take my meds, don’t drink enough water, or can’t find my fucking braces because the item eating black-hole that comes with ADHD stole them. The intersection of mental and physical disabilities is probably a rant for another time though, so back to chronic pain.

Does it suck? Yes, undoubtedly. Is this incredibly debilitating? Of course it is, I spent the last several months unable to feed myself without assistance because there was a staircase between my room and the kitchen and I could only manage to climb it once a day. Is it overwhelming? Definitely, I’ve frequently broken down crying from a combination of pain and frustration because I’m having a bad day and there’s no relief to be found. Am I able to predict when it’s going to rain with uncanny accuracy because any change in barometric pressure makes me feel like every bone in my body is trying to kill it’s neighbors? You bet your fucking ass I am!! Does it sometimes make me irritable, angry, and occasionally dismissive of when abled people get cold or a temporary injury because the stuff they’re complaining about is my life every single day and all avenues of treatment and recovery I have could take years and still not entirely solve my issues? Yeah, and while I deserve a little extra patience I also have to be sure to check myself because I don’t want to turn into someone who’s nasty to be around. Do I sometimes need to sleep for 17 hours straight because it’s raining, I have migraine, and I’m in too much pain to be conscious? Yup, sometimes a few days in a row. Does living in constant pain mean I’m unable to do all the things I want to and does that sometimes make me wanna curl up in bed and never leave? Yeah, it happens.

But! And here’s the big important but, that’s not everything! I still write, draw, and talk to my friends!! It might take me a little longer but I get there. I’m still happy and excitable and make the time to write out five page long posts about EDS because it’s something I’m passionate about! My chronic pain doesn’t stop me. I refuse to let it. I never really wanted to go mountain climbing anyway, so I’m perfectly happy being able to make it up and down the six steps in my house, even if sometimes I have to sit and bump down them on my ass, or crawl up them like a cat. Chronic pain isn’t all I am. It isn’t a fate worse than death. It isn’t the only thing your character should talk about (though I do talk about my pain a lot cause I’m a complainer about almost everything). You can have your character be hindered by their pain, realistically they would be. You can have them seek comfort, support, and relief. Other characters can commiserate and be sympathetic, but it doesn’t mean their whole life is going to be one big pity party, that would be incredibly fucking boring. I know I’d be bored out of my mind.

All that said dealing with chronic pain, especially from EDS, is Complicated. Physical Therapy is the gold standard, but like I said before it can be a long and difficult process, and isn’t always accessible. Stabilization methods like I talked about before can help prevent pain, or reduce it by keeping bones mostly where they belong. Heat and cold help joints, relax muscles, and reduce inflammation but keeping them applied is rough and the relief doesn’t always last. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and sometimes even anti-epileptic medication to help manage pain, but everyone’s mileage with those varies. And I’m not at all qualified to talk in-depth about narcotics or other heavy duty pain-meds, but suffice to say the war on drugs fucked shit up for people that legit need that kind of help BIG TIME.

Now for my closer/bonus rant about EDS and Disability Writing in General!

Everyone always says write what you know, so if you really want to do disabled people justice, get to know disabled people! Make friends with disabled people, get involved with advocacy groups, consume content made by disabled creators both about disability and not! Disabilities are so fucking diverse, even EDS is such a complex disorder, and comes with so many potential co-morbidities, that practically everyone with it has a unique experience. There’s no way I can fully explain everything in a tumblr post. Hell, even if I could talk to you for hours probably couldn’t give you enough info to answer all your questions (especially since I’m still in diagnosis hell :,) ), so talk to a wide range of people with EDS and other disabilities!! I know it sounds like a lot of work but trust me, disabled people are some of the strongest, raddest, coolest, people you will ever meet that it won’t feel like it.

And don’t be afraid either, the fact that EDS and other disabilities are so wildly varied means that you have a little bit of wiggle room with your character’s experience. There’s so little disability rep out their I think people are WAY to scared to try their hand at writing it. So long as your character is a fully developed person in addition to being disabled, you give some logical thought as to how it would affect their life, and you don’t make their disability the butt of any joke it isn’t difficult to avoid ableist writing. PLEASE WRITE MORE DISABLED PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC PAIN/CHRONIC ILLNESS!!

Okay that’s it, again sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! My fingers were being little pests about it, and my ADHD (which is honestly more disabling than everything else a lot of the time lmao) was being an asshole! Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me more questions if you need clarification! It might take me a bit but I do love talking about this stuff.

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #27

Chapter 27: Burden

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[A quick recap]

My melancholy blinds me to my current surroundings. I only come out of it once a spotlight hits me.

"The hell...?"

Things look funny. No doubt it's a setup by Mettaton. But I'm unsure what this act is. I mean, it looks like a receptionist's waiting room. A desk and some random chairs.

"GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTS...!"

Mettaton zips in wearing a red suit and shoves me in a chair as he takes center stage.

"FIRST AND FOREMOST, WE HERE AT MTTTV WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LACK OF ME OVER THE COURSE OF THE PROGRAM. DUE TO THE LACK PREP WORK WITH MY COSTAR HERE, WE SADLY HAD TO FORGO A THRILLING ACT BACK IN LEVEL TWO INVOLVING HUNDREDS OF EXPLOSIVES!!"

I so freaking called it. I should let him have his moment...Nah!

"I thought you said that act was shit anyway?"

He extends an arm to cover my mouth.

"FORGIVE HER. SHE'S LOST A LOT OF BLOOD AND NOT ALL THERE MENTALLY."

I leer at him flatly.

"BUT...DARLING HERE IS GOING TO MAKE AMENDS WITH US ALL RIGHT NOW. IT'S TIME TO ANSWER SOME BURNING QUESTIONS."

I'm so confused as he lets go and leaps onto the desk, posing dramatically.

"IT'S TIME FOR..."

A large neon sign shaped like him drops from the ceiling.

"BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL WITH A KILLER ROBOT! THE LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOSTED BY YOURS TRULY."

Huh. Not a bad title.

"I thought you were working on a courtroom trial program?"

He scoots to now sit behind the desk.

"UNFORTUNATELY, WHILE I DO HAVE THE FUNDS, I DON'T HAVE AVAILABLE WORKERS TO MAKE SUCH A SET. SO...WE'RE DOING THIS INSTEAD."

"Heh...Must be hard to meet your expectations."

"DARLING, YOU HAVE NO IDEA."

A tense dramatic score plays.

"SO, DARLING...ARE YOU READY TO TELL ME EVERYTHING?"

Ah. I see now. Fine, Metta, have it your way. Just be careful what you wish for. You may not like it. Now don't get me wrong. I know my limits. I'm not about to tell him EVERYTHING. I'm not that stupid. But if he wants truth, he's going to get a version that's missing some characters and other junk.

"As you wish. You wanna know the truth? You want to scar the entire Underground? Sure. Why not. What else do I have to lose at this point since you exposed me? So congratulations! I hope you like the prize you've been longing to get. Because I sure as hell don't."

Let the show commence.

[Now our featured presentation]

"RIIIIGHT...ANYWAY...WHY NOT INTRODUCE YOURSELF. LET THE UNDERGROUND KNOW JUST A BIT ABOUT YOU."

I wave with a stupid grin to where I think a camera is.

"Howdy, monsters of the Underground. My name is Lynsie. Last I checked, I'm 5'8'', twenty eights years old, born November 7th, am a Scorpio, blood type A+, and enjoy long naps by the beach."

Am I introducing myself or recording a dumb dating profile video?

Mettaton whips out some cards from his desk.

"REALLY? YOU'RE THAT OLD? HUH."

"Yeah. Why?"

"YOU LOOK OLDER THAN THAT."

I sneer.

"It's the raccoon eyes. Insomnia is a hell of a slap to the face."

"THAT ASIDE...HOW ARE YOU FEELING? YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT SINCE THIS PROGRAM STARTED."

"I'm grateful to have this reprieve. It's nice to not be flung into fight after fight for a moment. I don't like fighting. I'd much rather avoid any conflict if able."

"SUCH A KIND GIRL. ARE ALL HUMANS THESE DAYS LIKE YOU?"

I eye him funny.

"WHAT?"

"Do mean 'kind' or 'stupid'? Because every monster has called me a fool for being nice."

"STUPID IS A STRONG WORD. NAIVE IS MORE LIKE IT."

I rumble lowly in my seat.

"But...To answer you properly, no. Not all humans are like me. Or...I'm not like most humans."

"OOOOH~, SUCH AN AMBIGUOUS ANSWER. FINE THEN, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE THAT, I'LL HAVE TO BE MORE BLUNT IN MY QUESTIONS. LET'S SEE..."

He flips through some of his cards.

"OH! HERE'S ONE...HOW DID YOU COME TO FIND YOURSELF IN THE UNDERGROUND?"

Blunt? I'll give you blunt.

"Easy. I tried to kill myself."

[SNOWDIN: Skeleton House in present time]

The mood in the room sours as the human continues.

"Yep. You see, Mt. Ebott has a reputation, a legend dating back lord knows how long, that those who climb the mountain never return. This has made it a popular place to die. Not as bad as the literal 'Suicide Forest' of Japan, but it does the job okay."

Mettaton's screen blacks out.

"Don't give me that look. You wanted this. You wanted the truth. So take it. Take the blunt no holds bar truth of the matter. And you know what else? It wasn't the first time either. I can think of at least five other attempts. Each more pathetic than the last. But, if memory serves me right, I do believe my very first try was when I was still so very small. Somewhere around age six to eight. I had learned that apple seeds contain cyanide, a very toxic poison. Of course, there's not a heck of a lot in a single seed, but if you ingest a lot...well...Kid me didn't know how many were needed. Just that it was deadly. As you can see, I didn't have enough and I didn't try that form of suicide again. I don't try the same kind twice. I'm too fearful of messing things up the second time. What if it only partly works and I end up surviving? Heh...Trying to end it all only to live but in even worse condition? The irony would be such a hilarious joke. Then again, that's my life in a nutshell. One big cruel unrelenting joke."

Toriel's eyes water. She knew her child had her demons, but she knew not just how far back they spawned. Mettaton's screen relights.

"I...I WASN'T EXPECTING..."

"Yeah, no one does. No one expects me to be so dark. But what can I say? I do a damn good job hiding it."

"BUT...WHY THOUGH? WHAT WOULD MAKE A CHILD THAT BENT ON KILLING THEMSELVES?"

She takes a deep breath and lounges back in her chair.

"You ever feel guilty for something? Something you have no idea why you should feel that way for but you just do?"

She runs her hands over her face.

"I don't remember why I asked her that question. Maybe I was just morbidly curious. I knew my siblings were unexpected pregnancies. The eldest never came to be, so whether it was a boy or girl is forever unknown. My brother came about in the randomness of my mom hooking up with my dad. She married my dad because, well, she did like him but also so that he wouldn't be deported once his school visa ran out. He and his family escaped their homeland to start a new life...but did so illegally. Even on the surface, there's no true freedom. Four years into the marriage, I was born. Things only seemed to spiral from there. Dad would stay out drinking. Mom would be pissed. Bro and I would hide in my room and try to keep the fighting out. Mom gave up on him, someone else charmed her heart and would later be the father of my sister. Eight years into this world and they divorce and months later sis is born. She was unknown and with how old mom was at the time, she now suffers from spontaneous seizures."

The girl looks up in thought.

"So a few years ago, I asked mom...Was I unplanned like they were? Was I another surprise baby?"

She looks back down, her face holding a more cold expression.

"No, she told me. You were the only planned one. ...I should've stopped there. *sigh* I then asked...Why? She answered..."

Emotion leaves her.

"We had you in the hopes that you'd fix our marriage."

Silence. Dead silence.

"So much pressure. And to put that on a babe? How was I supposed to solve your problems? How is it my fault you couldn't stand each other when things got rough?! How is a kid supposed to make sure you don't start taking drugs and acquire sixteen felonies?! How is it my job to make sure you don't regret loving someone else?! How is that fair?! Why not take some fucking responsibility for once in your god damn life?!"

She becomes irate, grabbing one of the chairs and beating it into another one till both are useless before ending with a guttural roar that pains the throat in its harshness.

Toriel recalls similar words from her not long after they became close and she found her.

"Child? You're trembling. Is everything all right? Child, please. Just speak to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I hate you! I hate all of you! You fucking pieces of shit! Why?! Why is it so hard for any of you to care?! I've been missing for days or weeks and none of you care! *sobs* Did you ever love me?! Why did you even bother having me if you don't even care that I'm gone?! *bawling* Why? Why? Someone tell me why...please..."

"I know this isn't the most pleasant of times to ask...But since we've come to know more about each other, I have been curious about something. The humans that fall down here...They tend to not fall down for the happiest of reasons. If it is not too painful...Can you share with me your reason? What made you come to a cursed mountain where none ever return from?"

"*hard sniffling* They used to care. I used to know what it was like to know others cared. I can't remember when they started to pull away. When I became invisible. I just want to know why. Was it something I did? Did I do something wrong? Did I not make them proud? I thought I did everything right. I was a good girl. *voice cracking* I'm a good girl. Aren't I?"

Even Grillby had memories of such talk pop into his head.

"You are an amazing person. You live in his cold place and open this bar to every sad face willing to cast aside their mean spirits for spirits of another kind. You put up with a lot of nonsense, a good bit came from me today, and I'm sorry about that."

"Where is all this coming from?"

"I'm not done. You have been nothing but nice to me. And doing that isn't easy in this world we live in. Since meeting you, you've shown me more kindness than I got from my own family, and this is only our second meeting. Heh, how pathetic is that? I fell into the Underground trying to die, only to end up wanting to live because of the few that showed me any decency. And for that, I give you my thanks."

"Pussycat?"

"I don't know if it was the punch or I'm just in a weird mood. I'm probably making things awkward. No one wants to hear someone ramble about lame junk when at a bar. This is a place people go to forget things. I know I've got a lot I want to forget. Like the three or four times I ran away from home but never had a plan and always had the cops take me back. Or the time I cussed out my grandma because I thought she lost my dog when it turned out my mom had dumped the pup at a shelter and told me it escaped. Or the suicide attempts..."

"Attempts?"

"Oh yeah, there was more than one. Hard to believe, but I'm a very sad person. No, that's being too nice. Depressed is more accurate. 90% of the smiles you see me do are fake. Just part of the mask I wear to hide how truly miserable I really am."

"God, I hate myself. I'm a sad pathetic mess."

Sans now gets a clearer picture of the baggage weighing on her.

"oh! and don't forget, you're making dinner. pap only let that slide because you were practically dead. so don't get any ideas thinking you can get out of it."

"Did you just really say that?!"

"the hell is your problem?"

"Did you really just insinuate she'd harm herself?"

"i dunno...maybe?"

"You can't say that kind of stuff to her!"

"why not?"

"You...You don't know how she came to the Underground, do you?"

"she told me that she fell."

"I'm not comfortable telling you this, seeing as she hasn't and I don't think it's my place, but I can't let you say idiotic things like that."

"okay, weed, you have intrigued me. if she didn't fall, then how did she get here?"

"Well...Falling is how she came to the Underground. But...She didn't fall from an accident."

"you're telling me she..."

"She fell on purpose. She...was trying to die. I don't know about her life on the surface. She doesn't tell anyone about that stuff, not even Mom. But I have been with her since the start and I can tell...Under all that toughness and pass the goofy dork innards...She's very sad deep down."

And that moment that recently happened at Grilbby's.

"enough with the act! you act all calm, with your little quips and remarks. making you look so well put together. but i know better. i know you're just as messed up as the rest of us. so why don't you get off your high horse and get out of my life!"

"You're right. This is an act. Every day, I wake up and I pretend to be this way. To play this role of the girl that never gives in and can smile through it all. I put on my mask and face this world as best that I can. But inside I'm dying. I'm being crushed by insecurities, doubt, depression, and so much negativity that I let myself fall into a pit hoping for the sweet embrace of death. I have attempted to end my life a good handful of times. Each more pathetic than the last. Even now, I'm just a few triggers shy of crumbling into a blubbering mass of tears. Yet there are few things that keep me from doing those bad things now that I'm here. And if putting on this act keeps me in, relative, ease...Then yeah. I'm gonna pretend my ass off that all is fine with me. Because I'm a fucking moron that is too afraid to open up to those closest to me and ask for help!"

Papyrus, of course, takes all this in as vital information he could use against the human. Her emotional and mental instability can be used to manipulate her. Grooming her to be more obedient to his will.

"I'm sorry."

"DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE SORRY."

"No...I mean, I'm sorry for earlier. It was wrong for me to hit you. You just...*sigh* How do I say this without sound like a dweeb?"

"JUST...SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. DON'T ALTER YOUR WORDS. THEY LOSE IMPACT THAT WAY."

"If that's true, then don't make a big deal out of this."

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I am an emotional wreck and going through so much internal bullshit that it ain't funny. So know that the stupid things I'm about to say are true because this is making me feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable which I think you feel too."

By now the human was breathing heavily over the shattered remains of once recognizable objects, slowly regaining her composure. She stares at the mess for some time. Mettaton doesn't even try to do anything that could get her attention while in such a state. Eventually, she drops the bits in her hands and takes a seat in the chair she spared. Slumping in remorse and holding her face.

"I'm sorry. That...That was shameful. I'll pay you back for the damage."

"DO YOU NEED A MOMENT?"

She rubs her eyes of faint moisture.

"N-No...No. I'm fine. That...That was just a moment of venting weakness. I normally cry this crap out of my system. But...I'm so sick of crying. Yet...That felt good though. So much pent-up bullshit I don't or can't let out was just dropped like weights off my back. ...Does this count as therapy? Because this feels better than that child physiologist mom sent me to after I ran away...the first time."

"SOUND LIKE YOU DON'T CARE FOR YOUR PARENTS."

"You'd think that, but no. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. They could've been far worse even with the flaws I've mentioned. Dad never missed work and made sure bills could be paid. Mom always made sure we could eat even if it meant she didn't and often broke the law to do so."

Her head lolls back as she lounges.

"It's easier to dwell in the negatives than the positives growing up. It can make for a bitter soul. This is just the tip of a massive iceberg, there is so much more crap hidden below. But now is neither the time nor place to dive deeper into those murky waters. I'll drown if I stay under too long. *sigh* I don't hate them for the life they brought me into. I'm just...disappointed. Disappointed by the choices they made and things they expected to get from them. Disappointed in myself for allowing all that to have so much of a hold on me. Disappointed...So very disappointed...*long drawn out groan* Could we please leave the personal questions for now?"

"VERY WELL."

He flips through the cards.

"YOU'VE BEEN IN THE UNDERGROUND FOR SOME TIME NOW. HOW HAS THAT BEEN? WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE A HUMAN AMONG MONSTERS?"

This gets their attention. The human knows better than to tell all. But she's so far been extremely open. They hoped she was of sound mind enough to remember to keep some secrets.

"Even after all the attempted murder...I prefer monsters to humans. Because at least once the fighting is over, things can be somewhat normal. It's like 'hey, I know I just tried to kill you, but do you wanna maybe hang out for a bit?' and then that happens. It blows my mind how there's no animosity or spite afterward. After Humans fight with each other there's no calm, no peace of it being over, hell, a war might break out if it was bad enough. You never know how bad someone feels after and if the grudge they carry will make them go to extreme measures to make them feel better. Well...Except for the Irish. Those lads can tussle and then be all chummy after like it was a bonding experience. Nice folk. Always fancied them. Heh...Kinda like Monsters. A tough outside but nice inside. Maybe that's one of the reasons they were persecuted too. ...God, my kind is trash. All it knows is hate. We even hate ourselves. And one day...That hate will be the end of us."

She moves some hair from her face. A small smile coming to her.

"Moments like this...It's nice. Brief pauses of reflection and repose. Typically I end up doing this kind of thing in my head or I talk to myself. Funny how that works, the mind I mean. It is a self-aware entity in itself that can be both you and not you at the same time yet won't confuse itself by doing so. Probably why the imagination is such vital part of it. *pause* Heh...My bad. Lost myself for a moment. Back on point...Sure, this all began with you nearly killing me and it's probably just leading up to something else. Something good or bad. Yet till that happens...This is nice."

"SPEAKING OF NICE...YOUR LV HASN'T GONE UP FROM ITS BASE LEVEL. WE'VE SEEN YOU GO INTO FIGHTS, SO IT'S NOT THAT YOU'VE AVOIDED THEM COMPLETELY."

"As I've said...I don't like fighting."

"YOU MUST BE AWARE THAT PACIFISUM IS NOT A RECOMMENDED OR AN EASY THING TO DO IN THE UNDERGROUND. IS IT HARD BEING NICE FOR YOU DOWN HERE?"

"Is it hard for a fish to swim or bird to fly? Nice is my default. I don't have it in me to be genuinely mean. I can be rude or even a bitch, but that's only if that was how I was treated first. The real hard part about it is getting others to understand this niceness is real. Some pick it up with no trouble. But others are difficult. Going so far as to think I'm trying to lull them into a false sense of safety as part of an evil human trap. Can you believe that?"

Sans eyes Papyrus who rolls his sockets at his brother, both knowing damn well she meant him.

"EVEN SO, HAS THERE BEEN A TIME WHERE YOU WANTED TO FIGHT BACK? SURELY EVEN I PROBABLY INCURRED SOME IRE FROM YOU?"

She looks at the mechanical machination with a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"Ire is a strong word. True, I'm not happy about this situation. Exposing me for ratings. One of your goons bashing me over the head. The creepy stalking behavior by watching me through cameras. The needless puzzles and fighting. All of it wasn't necessary."

"I DISAGREE. EVERY BIT WAS COMPLETELY NECESSARY."

"Bull crap."

"NOW NOW, LET ME EXPLAIN. REGARDLESS OF YOUR INTENTIONS, YOU HAVE TO AGREE THAT YOU BEING HUMAN DOES CALL FOR CERTAIN MEASURES TO BE TAKEN. HUMANS DEAL PHYSICAL DAMAGE AND MONSTERS ARE WEAK TO SUCH ATTACKS."

"I know that. Get to your point, Metta."

"MY POINT? VERY WELL. MY DATABASE CONTAINS THE COLLECTED INFORMATION WE'VE GATHERED FROM THE PREVIOUS HUMANS THAT CAME BEFORE YOU. EACH WEAKER AND WEAKER AS TIME PASSED. YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE BEEN DISPLAYING STRANGE ABILITIES..."

A monitor comes down, displaying the human in her earlier distress and giving off that strange energy.

"NOT TO MENTION YOUR SOUL HAS BEEN CHANGING IT'S COLOR WITHOUT MAGIC INFLUENCE."

The monitor shows the many different colors her soul was throughout the show.

"SO, DARLING, AS YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING HAS BEEN COMPLETELY NECESSARY. EVERY LITTLE OBSTACLE ALLOWED FOR MORE OF YOUR UNKNOWNS TO BE REVEALED. HOWEVER..."

The monitor goes back up.

"I GET THE FEELING YOU'RE STILL HIDING SOMETHING."

She glares at the robot.

"I repeat, this wasn't necessary. All you needed to do was ask."

She sits up straight and focuses. Her soul emerges...it is a deep dull blue.

"I don't know everything. Seeing as this whole 'soul' thing isn't known on the surface anymore. To use now, the soul is an intangible thing. It leaves when we die and does whatever since no one truly knows what happens after death. But...I do know my soul isn't normal. Not normal from what I've learned here anyway. I possess ten traits for which my soul can become."

Shock smacks them. Even Mettaton spits oil from some port.

"T-TEN?!"

She nods.

"Ten traits. Ten colors. Nine of which are completely fine."

Her breathing falters as she concentrates harder, forcing the soul to change color to her will.

"Blue, integrity. Cyan, patience. Green, kindness. Pink, passion. Purple, perseverance. Orange, bravery. Red, determination. Yellow, justice. White, hope. ...These are my main traits. The nine that make up my core personality. Yet...There is one, the last one, that I will not show you. No matter what."

A question mark appears on Mettaton's screen. Toriel and Sans know full well which one she means.

"WON'T SHOW? HOW COME?"

"That soul is too dangerous. One that I can't control. The black soul of relentlessness."

Papyrus sockets widen. Sans wasn't making it up after all.

"IF YOU TRULY EXPECT ME TO BUY INTO THIS BLACK SOUL NONSENSE THAN YOU BETTER FIND A WAY TO PROVE TO ME THAT IT'S REAL!"

"and how do you expect me to do that? have it triggered and let her kill half the town?"

"OF COURSE NOT! SHE'D NEVER GET THAT FAR INTO SUCH A SPREE ONCE I SLAY HER."

"YOU DON'T THINK I CAN KILL HER?"

"her? sure, you'd kill her no problem. she'd probably let you do it if things got really bad. but the black soul? that's a different story all together."

"YOU TALK AS THOUGH YOU'VE SEEN THIS 'BLACK SOUL' IN ACTION."

"..."

"YOU HAVE, HAVEN'T YOU?"

"that thing isn't something you want to mess with. don't go after something you can't handle."

"YOU DARE THINK THAT PITIFUL CREATURE CAN HARM ME?!"

"no! i don't think it would harm you! i know it would kill you!"

"I have no will over that trait. It consumes me utterly. Coldly targeting anything and everything as a threat, then calculatingly eliminating victims brutally with no remorse by any means. Pain doesn't phase it. It has no fear. But I do. I fear this soul. I fear becoming that...that thing. That beast."

The robot's screen blips.

"YOU MAKE IT SOUND TERRIBLE. IF IT'S AS BAD AS YOU SAY, HOW HASN'T YOUR LV INCREASED? SURELY A MURDEROUS SOUL LIKE THAT WOULD HAVE A BODY COUNT ATTACHED TO IT?"

"I have thankfully been taken out of that state when it happens. My brother down here, the flower you may have seen me with, he's the one that saves me. I don't know how he does it as I only barely register what happens when the Black Soul is in control. But it's one of the reasons why we stay together. He doesn't want to die and I don't want to hurt anyone, so it's a good deal for us both."

"AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS SUCH A STATE TO HAPPEN?"

"I'm not 100% sure but I have a theory. The worst of times. Moments when I lose all hope or can't take the pain. Mentally and/or physically. It takes over when I can't deal with things. And I guess it tries to 'solve' the problem...by getting rid of it."

Her demeanor is becoming more unsettled as she continues.

"I...I normally am unwilling to share this information. I don't like being personal with strangers. But since this is a live broadcast, and I've basically torn open a can of worms full of my emo baggage, I want this to be known. I need others to understand the danger. Because you all seem to view me as an easy kill. The dumb nice human that doesn't fight back. It'll be easy to get her soul. Hell, if it weren't for the black trait, I'd have given this thing to you guys ages ago. But it's not worth it. There's no point going to the surface, otherwise I'd be more inclined to leave and be subjected to the crap I deal with. And trust me...You don't want to know what I deal with."

Her eyes get dark and her expression serious to the point it's unnerving.

"The death that can possibly happen if the black soul activates and isn't stopped could be limitless. As the bearer of this curse, I remain here. Not because I see less harm if it triggers around monster, hell no. I trust my death to you because I have faith in monster kind being able to handle it. It's because I don't want to risk it being weaponized by humanity. Magic...REAL magic like this is gone from the surface. If it were to be discovered now...Magic will be coveted like any other valuable resource. Blood and dust will be spilled over ownership. The experiments to find a better means of harvesting it, the torture, the suffering, the endless cycle of hate feeding upon the lack of morality. I have no doubt monsters wouldn't even be seen as people. We've done it to different creeds of humanity throughout history, hell we still do it. I...I don't want that for Monsters. Part of me is saying I'm overthinking it, but I can't that optimistic side of me knowing all the fucked up shit Humans do. I don't want you guys to suffer. I don't want to cause harm. I don't want to see any more death! Please!!"

Her eyes are watering and her body trembling.

"I...I-I hate this feeling. This h-helplessness. I'm caged. I'm useless. I'm nothing on the surface. I'm a danger underground. I'm my own worst enemy and I don't know how to fight. *struggling* Why? Why didn't the fall kill me? Why can't I just die? Why am I so weak? I can't even bleed to death!"

She's a mess, weeping into her gloved hands. But Mettaton dismisses this display and keeps going.

"WEAK? YOU SELL YOURSELF SHORT. CLAWING INTO YOUR OWN BODY ISN'T A VERY WEAK THING AT ALL. COME TO THINK OF IT...IN YOUR ENCOUNTER WITH MUFFET, YOU TOLD HER WHY YOU DID IT. CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOU MEANT?"

A recording is played.

["I have just spent an ungodly amount of time trapped in that elevator over there having my soul violated by people that don't even exist anymore on this plane of reality. I have clawed my skin off to stop feeling their hands on me."]

Her face has the look of someone biting their tongue fairly hard to stay in control.

"What's to explain? I meant what I said and said what I meant."

"YOU'RE AVOIDING THE QUESTION, DARLING."

"No. You're refusing the answer."

"YOU SAID YOU'D TELL THE TRUTH!"

"I am!"

Agitation mounts.

"BULLSHIT! HOW THE HELL CAN ANYONE BELIEVE THAT?"

"I don't give a crap if you believe me or not! You weren't the one there!"

"JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!"

"It doesn't matter! You can't do anything about it! No one can! You can't stop people that break the laws of reality!"

Sans didn't like what he was hearing. And none of them liked that her still exposed soul was sparking with that strange energy.

"THERE ARE NO PEOPLE LIKE THAT!"

"How would you know?!"

"IF EVEN A FLY FARTS ANYWHERE IN THE UNDERGROUND, I KNOW ABOUT IT. IF ANYONE WITH ABILITIES LIKE THAT WERE HERE, THEY WOULDN'T BE UNKNOWN FOR VERY LONG."

"Did you not hear my words? They don't even exist anymore on this plane of reality! You can't find people that are outside time and space, you fucking idiot!"

"I'M THE IDIOT?! DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF?! OUTSIDE TIME AND SPACE?! YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A CONVINCING LIE!"

"I'm not lying, you insufferable ego-maniacal narcissistic jackass!"

"TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!!"

"I did! Accept the fact there is shit in life you can't fathom or comprehend yet is true! Like Bigfoot, life on other planets, or stigmata! Unexplained phenomenons are the backbones of reality! Deal with it!"

"THAT'S NOT AN UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENON! THAT'S A PURE IMPROBABLE IMMPOSSIBLITY!"

"By who's rule?! Are you God?! Do you know every infallible law the universe runs on?! No! You know nothing! No one does! So stop digging for shit that isn't there before something bad happens!"

"THEN GIVE ME A REAL ANSWER!"

"Stop...Please stop!"

"DARLING..."

"I s̷ái͟d͝ s̷t̢̛o̧͘p̀͟!̵̕͜!̧"

A surge of energy bursts from her soul, the flash whites out the screen and hurts the eyes. While blinded they all can hear the garbled sounds of pain and the sudden thud of weight hitting the floor. Their sight comes back to see the human writhing on the ground and gripping her soul, teeth bared in restrained growling.

"DARLING?"

She struggles to make her body move. Just slightly getting her head off the floor.

"Th͜i͞s͠...͜T́h̴i̵s̸ ̛įs ̕y̕our ̛f��aul͝t͏..̢.̴I͜ ͟a͡ske͝d ͠y̕o͏u t̷o͜ ͜s̛top..̢.̵"

The energy courses from her soul over her form, a brighter than normal light emanates from her clutched soul. She weakly pulls herself up to be supported by her free arm and the reason for the light is made clear, a crack has marred her soul. But that is far from the worst part. Sans spots it before Toriel but she's the one that points it out.

"Oh no!"

"What's wrong?"

"The darkness!"

Indeed. Black began to appear in the human's heart. The darkness corrupting the white light and faintly leaking out of the crack. The girl feels this. Panic flashes in her eyes but she's in no condition to handle so much on top of what has already happened.

"Wh̸en̢ wil̡l҉ ̛yo͡u̶ le͘ar͜n.͞..̡Y͘ou ̴fuc̀kín͜g id̴iot.̸..W͢hén wil̡l yoų ́a̶l̢l͜ léar͘n that͏ ̵y͘our act̵i҉o͞ns ͏ha͡v̛e ͘co͡n̴seq͘uenc͘e̶s͘?͘!"

The distortion. The off tone. The malice that seeped out. Perhaps it was enough proof for the automaton to believe her earlier words. For Mettaton seems to be distracted one second and then takes it all seriously the next. One of his hands snakes under his desk and the next thing to happen is the floor beneath the human opens up, dropping her into the unknown. Glitched roaring echoes as she plummets. A sickening crash leads into dead silence.

"WELL...THAT WAS INTERESTING."

His nonchalance about the whole thing is upsetting.

"SADLY, MY CO-STAR SEEMS TO BE HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE. NOT EVERYONE CAN HANDLE THE STRESS OF BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT, LIKE MOI."

His flamboyance is rubbing them the wrong way.

"HOWEVER, DESPITE HER TEMPER TANTRUM AND LACK OF COOPERATION, I WILL ASSURE YOU ALL SHE IS NOT DEAD. I MERELY GAVE HER THE SMALL BREAK THAT SHE CLEARLY NEEDED."

It's likely that the break involved her bones or some body part.

"BUT...I CAN GIVE YOU ALL SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO...THIS WAS THE LAST PRELEWD ACT. THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE US TOGETHER, IT WILL BE FOR THE MAIN EVENT. THE FINAL BATTLE APPROACHES, MY ENCOURAGABLE VIEWERS. DO NOT MISS OUT ON THIS HISTORICAL MAKE OR BREAK MOMENT."

The show shifts into a commercial break.

Toriel begins shaking. She can't deal with this much longer. Grillby does what he can to give her support, but he too has much on his mind. His pussycat unloaded a TON of things and a lot of it was incredibly concerning. Papyrus ushers his brother away from the other two as not to be overheard.

"SO...HOW LONG?"

Sans looks at him funny.

"uh...what?"

"HOW LONG WERE THE BOTH OF YOU GOING TO HIDE THIS PART OF THE SECRET FROM ME?"

"um...which part?"

"THAT POWER. SHE HAS TEN TRAITS, SANS. JUST HOW STRONG IS THAT GIRL?"

Sans scratches his skull.

"i honestly don't know, pap. i didn't even know she had that many. my main worry was always the black trait, so i never asked about others."

Papyrus folds his arms and shuts his eyes in thought.

"i swear, i ain't lying to ya."

"I KNOW YOU'RE NOT."

"then...what's wrong?"

"*HUFF* I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF THAT WEAKLING BEING POWERFUL."

His eyes open but look at nothing.

"I SHOULD'VE KNOWN SOMETHING WAS OFF THAT NIGHT...THAT PUNCH...SHE WAS HOLDING BACK SO MUCH..."

Papyrus clenches his fists into tight balls of rage.

"THAT BITCH."

"ya know she didn't want to hurt ya."

"THAT'S THE THING. SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD HURT ME. HOW WEAK DOES SHE THINK I AM? THAT'S WHAT'S PISSING ME OFF MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW."

Sans sighs. One day his brother will taste humble pie and not like it.

[HOTLAND: LAB]

Undyne finishes off her sixth bowel of ramen and looks at Alphys.

"Well...That wasn't how I thought it was going to end. Was it really necessary to tell him to drop her?"

Alphys takes a few more notes and ponders.

"Would you rather there be no main event? Besides..."

She adjusts her glasses.

"If what the human said is true, then the Black Soul being triggered in an open area would result in mass casualties. The zone in which the ending will be shot in is, for the most part, closed and under my remote control. So even in the event of something going wrong, which the odds of such are highly unlikely, then any and all threats can be dealt with in an optimum manner."

Undyne nods.

"I guess that makes sense. Still...I don't what I saw. There was real fear in the human's eyes."

"Good. She should be afraid. She should be very afraid of what's to come."

"And what's that?"

"That would be spoilers."

"Damn it. *sigh* A human soul with ten traits...Sounds tough. I wanna fight it!"

"It does raise a lot of questions. One, in particular, is on my mind."

"What's that?"

"If a human soul, deprived of magic, possesses ten traits and begins gaining magic...What will happen when it attains 100% magic?"

A cold chill runs through the captain.

[HOTLAND: SOMEWHERE ON LEVEL 3]

I am getting so sick of this crap. Why can't I just die at this point?

"*muffled* Lynsie?"

The voice and light jostling is bringing me back to consciousness. Damn it. Here I go again.

My eyes weakly open to the sight of dirt and rock. Just an inch away from losing the ability to see. Like I need a handicap in all this.

"Lynsie? Are you okay?"

Ah, Flowey. It's about time we met back up.

"*groan* H-Hey, bro. I missed you."

He smiles sadly.

"Are you okay? Can you move?"

I roll over on my back and check myself.

[HP ██████████ 10/40]

[HEARTBREAK level ONE in effect]

I figured that's what happened. No wonder the Black Soul was triggering. Thank goodness for the fall knocking my ass out or things would've gone bad fast.

"I think I'll be okay. Sore, but okay. I'm sadly getting used to falling and possible brain damage."

My answer has him pout.

"What's with the face, bro? You know I'm a tough cookie. I'll be fine."

His face gets full of concern.

"I...I heard what you told Mettaton."

Yeah, you and the rest of the Underground.

"I...I understand now why you didn't talk about your past. Why you kept to yourself. I'm sorry."

God, he's too sweet for this place. I reach over and gently stroke his petals.

"I love you, bro. You have no idea how much it means to me that you care. But don't pity me. I do that enough on my own."

I wearily sit up, shaking my head of all that baggage I brought up for the show.

"I wasn't pitying you. It's just..."

He fiddles with his leaves in a shy way but I cut his words off.

"Bro, I get it. I do. It's the same feeling like when you told me your history. Yet, let's be honest here, you're more mentally mature than me and I'm still not completely okay after getting all that off my chest. We can talk more about it later after this ordeal is over. Maybe over mom's cheesecake? Deal?"

"...You mean it?"

"Yeah. I promise."

He smiles brightly.

"Okay. I'd like that."

I pick myself up and stretch, taking a look around at where we are.

"Don't tell me he dropped me back at the start."

"Nope. This is still Level Three. In fact...I do believe MTT Resort is just past this place."

"...For real? Is it a safe space?"

"Yep. There are shops and rooms to rest."

I hear a heavenly choir sing in my head.

"Finally! The universe throws me a decent bone!"

I regret saying that the moment it leaves my mouth. Flowey looks at me funny.

"Don't take that out of context, you know what I meant."

"I don't know. You and Smiley Trashbag are eerily close."

My eye twitches. Things I wish Gaster didn't show me try to pop into my head.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to puke."

"Never insinuate something like that ever again."

He shakes his head at me. I try to change the subject before I have a heart attack on camera.

"So...Are you able to follow me to the resort? I'm sick of being separated."

"There's ground outside of it and parts I can reach beyond it, but the resort itself I can't get in without some sort of aid like a pot. Cement and tile flooring is a pain to break into."

"Damn, bro, you hella strong."

There's a deactivated reversed conveyor belt that's attached to the artificial platforms.

"Is it safe to cross? It's kinda giving me 'trap' vibes."

"You should be fine. This is normally the part where the colored tiles would be used again, but you know, stuff changed. It's probably off."

"Ah. Gotcha. I guess...See ya soon?"

"You bet."

He ducks into the ground so I take it as my time to leave this pit. The entire time I feel on edge. With my luck, the trap will turn on and I get screwed. Thankfully nothing happens apart from some jets of flame randomly going off in the distance and making me jump like a wuss. At least it got me to the stairs quicker.

After a quite the climb, I reach the top perturbed yet undaunted as a four-way crossroads greets me, though the two paths on the sides are blocked. More Royal Guards, a cat to the left and some kind of insect on the right, both in that imposing armor.

"Well if it isn't my best customer..."

The Ice Scream rabbit pops up from behind the cart I wasn't paying attention to.

"Fancy seeing you again."

As odd as seeing him here is, he's a familiar face that is a sight for my sore eyes. I approach.

"Hey, guy, what's up? Haven't been seeing you much in Snowdin Forest for a bit."

He leans on the cart like a cool guy.

"Yeah...Been moving around seeing if I can make mad gold somewhere where the weather isn't the same temp as my product."

"Any luck?"

"Waterfall wasn't so bad. Even started a new program with rewards cards. Turn in a card with ten punches and get a free doubling of your next order. Speaking of which..."

He reaches into his pants pocket and hands me a punch card. Some holes have already been made.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had the funds to get this far. So...Instead of starting your card full, I may have added your previous buys. Can't say I haven't gotten better at my wonderful salesmanship."

I can't help but smile. He's come a long way. I'm proud of him.

"Well then, wonderful salesman, I'd like to add some more holes please."

"Heh...sure. But I'm warning you, prices have gone up. 25G. Got to charge more here 'cause of the heat."

"Understood, my dude. Um...Just curious...Got fudge pops? Kinda have this hankering for something chocolate."

He shakes his head.

"Sold out. The Royal Guards bought those like crazy."

"Damn. Oh well. One blue, orange, grape, and blood. All bisicles."

He fills my order and I pay the 100G.

"Here you go. All five ready to enjoy."

I look at him funny.

"Five?"

"Yep. Five. I definitely didn't toss in a strawberry one because of customer loyalty. Nope. Didn't do it."

Must...resist...the urge...to HUG!!

"...Thank you. That...That means a lot."

He gives me a wink and I practically skip away up another set of stairs. I place the treats in my inventory for now. I know not what crap will happen from here, so healing items are a big help.

I am met by a large complex. Redbrick that's been tagged with graffiti, yellow-tinted windows with some broken, a gold MTT sign with two Mettaton images with devil horns, a black & white checkered awning over the door, two large plant potters that have dry withered flower remnants, and a blood-red or just stained that way rug embroidered with gold MTTs.

"Classy."

I'm about to head inside when something hits my leg. A paper airplane? I inspect it to find it's a note.

[Hey! Go up the creepy alleyway on the right for some great deals!]

"...I'm gonna get mugged, aren't I?"

It's against my better judgment, but this is a neutral zone, so I should be okay. I wearily creep around, following spray-painted arrows, to end up finding two girls gossiping among garbage. They notice me and straighten up.

"Hey! Check it out!"

"Yeah! Check it out!"

"So, like, what's up? I'm Bratty, and this is my best friend, Catty."

"I'm Catty, and this is my best friend, Bratty."

Oh no...More valley speak!?! Why is that a thing down here?!

Bratty is a tall, green alligator or crocodile monster that wears a primarily black shawl with yellow and red details on the sides. She has yellow hair that flows into curls and red lipstick.

Catty is a plump purple cat creature who wears a set of black overalls with yellow buttons and tufts of red fur with yellow highlighted tips coming out from under it on either side. She has black hair with a red streak in it and a yellow earring on her left ear.

"Uh...Hi? So...This is a shop?"

"Like, the best shop!"

"You should buy ALL our stuff!"

Catty gets this blanket out and opens it out to show me their items. They don't have much, just four things, but I can't turn away from these items.

[25G - Junk Food - Has a big bite out of it]

[350G - Rusty Revolver - Bullets NOT included]

[350G - Tattered Western Hat - ATTACK up when worn]

[600G - Mystery Key - Probably to someone's house LOL]

A gun...How the fuck is that here?

"Oooh! I know that look!"

"That's the look of some wanting something!"

"Bratty! We're gonna be rich!"

"Where did you find this stuff?"

"I mean, like, where does anyone get guns, or food, or..."

"We found it in the garbage!"

I so called it.

"It's GOOD garbage."

"It's like, really good garbage."

"Where do you get the garbage?"

"Like, the garbage store, duh!!! ...Waterfall mostly."

"I found a gun in a dumpster!"

I check my gold...I don't have anywhere close to 1,300G for their garbage.

"Um...Maybe we could work out some sort of arrangement?"

They glare.

"That's poor talk."

"You need WAY more money."

What I need is to get that stuff away from them. That stuff is bad enough with humans, I don't want monsters messing with crap like guns.

"Ladies, I'm sure there's something we can do. Shops run on trade. This is just a trade of a different kind. I can't give you the gold, but I can get you other things. There's gotta something you'd both want that I can fetch for you in exchange?"

They mull it over.

"Thanks, but we, like, don't really need anything."

"Oh my god, can you go get us some Dazzleburgers?"

"We don't. Really need. Anything."

"Wait! I'll pay you 1000G if you get Mettaton to autograph my butt!"

Catty seems to be the easier one here. Maybe I can work with this.

"While I do know the guy, I'm not sure I can get Metta to sign your butt."

"Damn."

"Wait...You know Mettaton?!"

Their eyes sparkle.

"...Yes?"

They squeal with fanatical glee.

"Oh my God. Mettaton."

"Oh my GOD, METTATON."

"He's like...My robot husband."

"Actually he's like...MY robot husband."

"I think we're like...both going to marry him."

"We're both like, ALREADY married to him. He just, like, doesn't know it yet."

They're insane.

"Okay...Can I ask what's a Razzburger? I could try to get that."

Their eyes widen in shock.

"You don't know what a Dazzleburger is?"

"Do you, like, live under a rock?"

Don't we all do since this is a mountain?

"Dazzleburgers are epic!"

"They're only sold in the resort."

Interesting.

"Inside huh? Let me guess...Very pricey."

Bratty nods.

"The stuff inside, is like..."

"TOTALLY wicked expensive."

"But, like, this stuff we found is like..."

"TOTALLY wicked cheap."

"You should..."

"Like..."

"TOTALLY wicked buy all of it?"

"Cheap? You're selling a random key for 600G!"

They giggle at me and I sigh. Bitches, man...bitches.

"So where inside am I gettin' them?"

"The MTT-Brand Burger Emporium."

"You have to get them from Bugerpants."

That name...That name brings back memories...as well as sore spots. Douche-cat...

"Burgerpants."

"Yeah, that guy from the store. Yuck, what a creep."

"Yeah! He's a creep! But he's kind of cute, too..."

"C'mon Catty, don't you have ANY standards?"

"Nope!!!"

...You need standers, Catty.

"Yeah, I met him. Not so much a creep but he is a massive prick."

"OK, like, the annoying thing is..."

"He'd be OK if he just treated us with some respect."

"But he just acts..."

"Really weird."

"And then acts like it's OUR fault he acts that way!"

"Like, when we asked him to get those Dazzleburgers..."

"He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything!"

"We were, like, going to share them."

"Really? I wasn't."

"Catty!"

This zone is full of awful people.

"One last thing...How many you want?"

Catty waves her paws.

"So many! Enough to fill a dumpster!"

"The mega value pack should cover us."

I give Bratty a thumbs up and leave their shady establishment. Now I enter the main building and this time I'm greeted by someone for once. It's either very diamond-like or very origami-like, but above all, it's a tiny monster.

"Welcome to MTT Resort - Hotland's biggest apartment-building-turned-hotel! Whether you're here for a night or still live here, MTT Resort prides itself on a great stay! Just passing through...? Nice! MTT Resort prides itself on being passed through!"

"Interesting business model. Does it work?"

"Oh, indeed it does, human."

"You know what I am?"

"Oh yes! The staff has been informed of your coming and instructed on how to handle you upon arrival."

Oh god, what now?

"Over on your left, we have a dine-in restaurant complete with a stage which hosts a wide cast of live acts. Either comedy done by locals or Mettaton entertains when he isn't too busy."

"Neat."

"If you're feeling like you hate yourself, behind me is the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Dazzleburger!"

Well, they know how fast food works.

"All further questions can be taken to my coworker behind the desk."

I scratch my head and shrug.

"Thanks."

I walk away and head for the other receptionist. It's not a bad-looking lobby at least. Red & yellow checkered tiles and the rug from outside continues forward into parts unknown. The obnoxious fountain of Mettaton is gaudy though. I reach the desk and the monster behind it is a weird one. It's blue and its head is a hand with very well manicured red nails.

"Yes, we know. The elevator music volume is super loud and the song is stuck on a three-second loop. We are working on it. Because of this incident, rooms are running at a special rate! 200G a room. Interested?"

Someone sounds grumpy.

"No thank you. I was told to come to you. I'm the human if that helps."

Their head fingers extend in alert.

"Oh! Sorry. I was instructed to inform you on where to go next."

"That would be helpful, yes."

It motions to where the rug is heading.

"If you follow the rug there, you'll be lead out back to the entrance of the CORE. Mettaton will be waiting for you at the top."

"Could I use the elevator instead? All this travel is exhausting."

"No can do. The elevator leads to the Capital and main residence of our people. You're not allowed to go there."

"Oh...That's fine. I didn't want to go there. Just trying to take shortcuts if able."

"*ahem* If you require a small rest, might I suggest renting a room?"

"I don't the gold, sorry."

"That's fine. Mettaton has pre-paid a room for you. One time only."

I'm stunned. Damn him! Why does he confuse me so much?! I want to like and hate him at the same time!

"Um...In that case, sure. Where are rooms?"

They motion again.

"Down the hall to the right."

I wait for them to give me a key or card but nothing is there except awkwardness.

"Is there a problem?"

"No...not really. But...uh...Isn't this the part you give me a room key?"

"What? Room...Key? No, we don't do that. If you leave your room, you'll have to pay again."

So if I enter I can't leave or else I'll have to pay? That's insane!

"On second thought, maybe later."

"Shame. Do let us know if you change your mind. Have a sparkular day!"

I'm getting the feeling they're being nice because they were told to be. Otherwise, I doubt I'd be given such a warm welcome. Oh well. Time to pay a certain someone a visit.

I stroll up to the emporium and find myself paused. I can go about this in many ways. The different choices and outcomes play out in my head super fast. After a few, I settle on something...something that'll leave an impression. I push the doors open. A digital bell sounds. I look at what appears to be a sadder version of McDonald's. And like a mindless corporate drone, he speaks while moping the floor before seeing "who" just walked in.

"Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Dazzleburger. Sparkle up your day (TM)."

He begins to turn around.

"What can I do to..."

His eyes widen seeing me, grinning sadistically at him like a lunatic.

"Uh...help?"

This hurts my throat to do, but it really sells this whole thing. I deepen my voice to imitate Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget and just laugh. He is unnerved to say the least.

"*menacing* No one will help you."

"H-Hey now...Don't think of doing anything funny."

I walk up to him and he backs away slowly before leaping behind the counter.

"Stay back! You can't hurt anyone in shops!"

I keep the deep voice.

"*menacing* Hurt you? Foolish boy...Why would I do that? It's not like you put a cigarette out on my wrist and bashed my head with a bat!"

That last part was done a bit too harsh and I end coughing. All seriousness leaves.

"*coughs* Nah, man...*normal* I ain't gonna do anything. For reals. I was just messing with ya."

He eyes me funny.

"Riiiiiight...What do you want then?"

"Preferably, my phone."

He flinches, his eyes looking quickly down then darting back up.

"I..."

"Metta doesn't have to know."

"What do you mean he won't know?! He knows everything that goes on here!"

"Look, you either give me my phone, or I'm gonna go back there and take it."

"You're not seri..."

My dead stare shuts him up. He seems to freeze up now. I sneer and put my hand out. He looks at my hand and then starts sweating. I'm beginning to lose my patience.

"You have five seconds."

His fur stands on end and he suddenly slams his face on the countertop, giving himself a bloody nose.

"Sorry, (Ha ha) it's against the rules to talk to customers who haven't bought anything. And talking with you this long has put me in serious shit. If you want this 'exchange' to continue, you're going to make a purchase."

I'm not happy.

"...What do you have?"

[60G - Sorebet - Very popular food.]

[120G - Dazzleburger - Very popular food.]

[300G - Mythical Villain - Anti-Hero Sandwich. ATTACK UP in battle.]

[500G - Biltong Slab designed to look like Mettaton - Don't ask. Please.]

I huff through my nose and shell out the 60G.

"That Sorebet better come with my phone."

"Yeah yeah. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Fuck you. I wear boxers."

He eyes me with a blush before heading into the back. Might as well chat him up while I can.

"So...Do you know the chicks behind the building?"

"Huh? Oh...Them. Yeah, I know them. What of it?"

"They were talking about you."

"The girls were...Talking about me...?"

Hooked him.

"They mentioned you threw burgers at them and ran."

"Bullshit! That is not what happened."

He comes back to the counter with a glass of frozen dessert and my phone.

"Care to enlighten me?"

He sighs and lights a cigarette. I wonder if he can do that while on shift?

"Never interact with attractive people. Unless you're 'one of them', they're just gonna take advantage of you. Those two chicks asked me to sneak them some Dazzleburgers. And I, the naive teenager that I was, said yes to them. Bad idea."

"What happened?"

He takes a dag and lifts the collar of his uniform shirt open, blowing the smoke in there.

"Does that really keep the smoke from spreading?"

"It's worked so far. *puff* So I went out to the alley to see those two ladies, and uh...you know, see what'd happen next."

"Like...Naughty stuff?"

"...Maybe."

"Nice."

He blushes.

"Anyway...Then my boss comes out of nowhere, sees me, and demands to know what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground. Not wanting to lose face to the girls, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was bending down, the weight of the remaining hamburgers...*puff*...caused my pants to fall down."

He expected me to mock him. But I can't feel anything more than pity for the guy. This surprises him and he continues his story.

"Then the girls laughed at me. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now. It's gotten to the point I can't remember my name half of the time. It's even on my name tag for fuck's sake!"

Poor douche cat.

"I think you're the first to not laugh at me or that story."

"Why would I laugh? That's...That's messed up, man."

He takes another drag.

"You know something...I misjudged you, human. I know it ain't much, but, I'm sorry for being an ass."

I rub the back of my head.

"I'll be honest, guy...Since the bar thing, I've seen you only as a prick. The idea of you having hard times and lashing out didn't cross my mind at all. That's my bad right there. Sorry on my part for being a bitch."

He smirks.

"So...You're really not going to tell Mettaton about this?"

He hands me my phone.

"Dude, this stays between us. Besides, he's kinda been pissing me off lately."

"Yeah, he does that."

He takes a deep drag before putting the cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe.

"Can I give you some advice? I'm getting on in years, so take it from me...You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life. I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever. But wait! There's one thing that keeps me going! If ASGORE gets just one more SOUL, we'll finally get to go to the surface! It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!"

"Maybe. So, what did you want to do before this?"

"Oh...I wanted to be an ACTOR."

"Neat."

"When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton. Well, be careful what you wish for! God, look what that idiot has done here. This place is a labyrinth of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says that's not how they do it on the surface. Oh! Right! Humans are always eating hamburgers made of RHINESTONES AND GLITTER."

"...I can assure you we don't eat that. Eating that would be very bad for our health. Maybe even fatal. Monsters don't really eat that...Do they?"

His eyes shift and I facepalm.

"And you guys think I'm gonna hurt ya?"

"You should probably get going. The boss will get his gears in a bunch if you take too long getting to the CORE."

"Fine."

I put the Sorebet in my inventory and remember my awkward side-quest.

"Oh! Before I bounce, can you help me with something?"

He tilts his head.

"What?"

"The chicks, Bratty and Catty, they have items I want but don't have the crazy amount of gold. They say they'll trade for a mega value pack. Any way you might be able to help make this trade happen?"

He sighs.

"Really? Do you know how much that is?"

"1300G close? Because that's how much I need."

"...What kind of shit are they selling that's worth that much?!"

I goofily shrug. He groans and rubs his face.

"I can't just give you that much for free."

"Catty thinks your cute."

"...For real?"

I nod. He fidgets, fingers tip-tapping and pitter-pattering.

"Okay, I'll tell you what...You score me a hook up with her and I'll give you the burgers."

Damn you rule of three in side-quests!

"Argh...I guess I can try. It won't be the weirdest thing I do today but it is on the list though."

His eyes light up with excitement. I can't mess this up now. How often does he actually smile like this?

"Thank you! *ahem* I mean...Cool."

I slink out of the emporium and head for the exit.

"Um, excuse me, human...The CORE is the other way."

I groan.

"I know. I'll be back."

Exit building, go into the creepy alley, and meet the girls again.

"Look who's back."

"Do you have the Dazzleburgers?"

I show my empty hands.

"Ha! I knew she'd blow it."

"Sucks to be you!"

"Hold up. He'll give me the goods. But..."

"But...?"

"Catty...Do you really think he's cute? 'Cause he thinks you're hot."

Catty's face flushes. Bratty rolls her eyes.

"For reals? He wants a date?"

"A date? A hangout? A simple meeting while he's working? I don't know. For all I know she can walk in, say hi, and that's it. All I need is confirmation and you get all those shiny burgers."

"Yes!"

"Catty...?"

"What a deal! A cute guy and free food! It's the score of a lifetime!"

"Catty, he's a loser. You hang out with him once, then he wants to hang out... All. The. Time."

"But don't you feel bad for him, Bratty? Poor Burgerpants...Think about how cool we are compared to him!!! We'd be saving his LIFE with our awesomeness!! His LIFE, Bratty!!"

"Uh, so?"

"Think of all the Dazzleburgers he could get for us!!"

And just like that, I feel like shit for doing this.

"...So is he free after work?"

"*huff* I'll be back...again."

Leave the alley, enter the building, meet up with Burgerpants.

"I don't like the look you have there. Did she say no?"

I can't lie to this guy.

"Dude, I'm really uncomfortable with this."

"What's wrong?"

"She said yes. But..."

"She said YES?!"

"I mean, she agreed, but please listen..."

"Ha! Ahahaha!! Yes!!! You've brought a tear to the eye of this old man."

I feel so bad.

"Dude, please...I'm, like, 100% sure she's gonna use you for free food and maybe gold."

"...So?"

I'm taken back.

"Look, you don't think I didn't think of that? I know she's probably going to use me. Everyone does. If it's for the food, I don't care. That's just another way I can stick it to my boss. Speaking of..."

He plops this cardboard case down on the counter.

"A deal's a deal. The mega value pack for the girl."

...Okay, they're made for each other. Everyone here is trash!

"So, uh, what time did she say she wanted to hang out?"

I hate everything about this!!

"I'll be back again."

Take food, leave, exit, alley. At this point, I nearly shove the shit at them.

"Oh my God!"

"Is that the mega value pack Dazzleburgers?"

"OH MY GOD!!! GIMME!!!"

"God, Catty. Try to have some self-control."

"Sorry..."

"'Cause they OBVIOUSLY brought the Dazzleburgers for ME."

"NO WAYYY!!!!!"

I point to the items.

"Trade. Now."

Bratty puts the key and gun into the hat before handing it over to me.

"Thank you."

I put the key in my inventory and equip the other two.

[You equipped the Tattered Western Hat]

[You gain 12 Defense and 5 Attack]

[This battle-worn hat makes you want to crew on straw for some reason. It also raises attack by 5.]

[You equipped the Rusty Revolver]

[You gain 12 Attack]

[An super old gun. It has no ammo. Must be used precisely, or damage will be low. Duh.]

[HP: 40 ATK: 62 DEF: 50]

I am becoming OP!!

"Oh! Give burger-boy this!"

Catty hands me a scrap of paper with her number.

"Fine. I'm just glad this is done."

Back to Burgerpants. I slap the paper down.

"Here's her number. I hope you don't regret this."

His face contorts in a weird way...Is he...Happy?

Sweet! I need to pick a spicy outfit for my little shindig later. Though, now that I think about it, I had to throw away all of my clothes to make room for the outfits Mettaton gave me."

"...What?"

"Don't take it the wrong way. They're just all these...Weird getups. 'Promotional' costumes. For 'holidays'. Or 'specials'. Or 'because he felt like it'. The thing IS though! Most of the time I'm the only employee who has to wear this stuff! Sometimes he even calls me into his office just to...Make me put something on...Then he laughs and lets me go back to work as normal."

My pity meter is breaking.

"Anyways, I won't sweat it. I'll take it casual. NEVER let hot people think you care. That's how they GET you."

And the pity meter dropped dead.

"Good luck with that."

I leave on that note. Fuck this resort. Fuck this quest plot. Fuck this whole damn thing!

Wanting this shit show to be over and done with, I do as instructed by following the rug's path out some doors that have a giant sign above that says "CORE". Lazy-ass designers, I swear.

Weirdly this leads to a balcony. A balcony that has been opened and a walkway built that connects to the massive facility. The light from the resort barely shows half of the path as the CORE itself surprisingly gives off the faintest glow. The CORE is an entirely mechanical complex that is largely black and yellow with red accents. The blah colors aside, what gets my attention are the two monsters that were minding the entrance that slip inside when I show up. I don't like this.

"Flowey, you better be able to get here. I have a bad feeling about this."

Approaching shows more of this crazy thing. The CORE appears to be the most industrial and modern region of the Underground. Ozone, a byproduct of electrical power, is omnipresent below the floor level of the CORE. This could mean the CORE might be made of stainless steel, titanium, or platinum; as ozone is highly corrosive to most organic materials. If this is the case, they could use this stuff. The CORE could be a source of ozonated water, which cleans clothes, sanitizes food, and purifies drinking water. This also implies this might be the greatest source of oxygen in the Underground as ozone simply decomposes into oxygen at high concentrations and temperatures. The only hazard I can think of is that oxygen is a shitty thing to breathe. Breathing pure oxygen at high pressures can cause nausea, dizziness, muscle twitching, vision loss, convulsions, and loss of consciousness. Breathing pure oxygen for a long time can irritate the lungs causing coughing and/or shortness of breath. Higher exposure may cause a build-up of fluid in the lungs and subsequent death. Guess how much more O2 is needed to do this to a person? 20% more. God, Humans are so freaking weak. I'll need to be careful here.

The lobby of the CORE has an elevator to the north and two paths to the left and right. Not a bad looking place, very lavishly decorated, the floors are engraved with intricate patterns and multicolored neon tubes serve as wall ornaments and embellishments. I check the elevator, which is disabled, I'm not shocked at this point. Not much else to do, I go to the path on the right, which turns out to be a small room with a square platform overlooking a pit of fire. Not bad. I do enjoy looking at fire. It's pretty. Moving on! Going through the left path leads to a rectangular stretch of wall-less hallway with a doorway at the end.

"Hmmm...My bullshit senses are tingling. I'm willing to bet a random encounter/ambush is about to happen."

As if cued by my words, something cracks the back of my head and then hits my gut as I turn.

"*wheeze* Called it..."

My attacker appears and my dull cracked purple soul is forced out to play.

[Madjick pops out of its hat!]

Madjick has a typical appearance of a wizard. It wears a curved wizard hat, a pair of boots, and two rotating orbs emitting cross-shaped particles. Madjick has a sly smile on its face, but a pair of bright eyes are hidden just under its hat.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[̴͝SP͜͞E͡L̵͜L͟͠͏]͘͢

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

I wonder if SPELL will work on this thing? ...N-No. No. Can't chance it. Stick to normal tactics.

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[TALK]

[STARE]

[CLEAR MIND]

...The fuck kind of options are these?!

[CHECK selected.]

[MADJICK – HP: 190 ATK: 29 DEF: 24 – This enemy can only speak in magic words.]

Finally! My states aren't shit compared to my attacker. Also, only speaks in magic words is the most fucking adorable thing I've ever heard.

"Abra cadabra."

An orb spawns off to my left and rapid-fires crosses at me. I dodge and the orb tries to cut me off by going where I'm headed. It fires about eight times and moving around is not so great.

[HP ████████████████ 16/40]

Thank goodness my defense got increased during all this crap. I could've been really messed up.

[Madjick flaunts its orbs in a menacing manner.]

It snickers.

"A smug one. I like that."

[TALK selected.]

"You know...I can do magic too."

It looks at me intrigued.

"Yep. I can make your smile disappear."

It pauses before sneering at me.

"See? I made it vanish before your very eyes!"

It didn't seem to like my humor.

"Hocus pocus."

[Madjick begins chattering to itself. Its gibberish dizzies you...Your DEFENSE drops by 1.]

My head feels fuzzy. Did it just jinx me? Are there more types of magic than what I've been told?

One of the orbs begins to chase me while deploying harmful but immobile crosses. Yet due to the jinx, my sense of direction is ass-backward. Left is right and right is left. Up is down and down is up. However...much to Madjick's dismay...I'm used to being incredibly dizzy. My childhood was filled with countless hours of boredom appeased by spinning around till I couldn't see straight.

[HP ████████████████████ 20/40]

Ha ha...Suck on those magic balls, wizard-boy!

"*slur* Is that what you call magic? Boo! Disappointed!"

[Madjick whispers arcane swear words.]

"*slur* Oh...Someone needs to put some gold in the swear jar. I'm gonna tattle!"

It growls.

"Eh eh eh. It's not your turn."

I slap my face a few times.

[CLEAR MIND selected.]

"I wonder where Flowey is?"

[You think of pollen and sunshine. Your confusion abates. Your DEFENSE increased by 2.]

"...What?"

"Alakazam!!"

It tries to surprise me with that following orb trick. But now that I know that move it's not so bad.

[HP ██████████████████████████ 26/40]

Huh? Am I auto-healing faster? Sweet! Surely that only means good things for me.

[Madjick peers at you with strange eyes.]

"What? You scared? My sick moves and auto-healing too much for you? No worries, wizard-dude, we cool. I got you."

The hell did I just say? Am I magic high? Fuck it.

[MERCY selected.]

[New options available.]

[FLEE]

[SPARE]

[SPARE selected.]

It looks at me funny. Then it looks at my HP.

[HP ████████████████████████████████ 32/40]

It flinches.

"Please and thank you."

Madjick accepts my act of mercy.

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 120 gold.]

The fight ends, my soul returns to my body and I give my opponent claps of approval.

"Good show, buddy. Keep up the good work."

It seems confused but nods, hovering away behind me towards the exit.

"Well...That was weird."

My head still feels odd. Nothing a few brain sloshing shakes of the old noggin won't fix. Anyway, no time to question strange feelings or whatever. I gotta get through this so I can get back to Toriel. Onwards I go.

Continuing forward, I enter a room with a bridge that is cut off by a tesla coil. Wow. Hadn't seen that in a long ass time. How much do I wanna bet there's a convenient off switch nearby. Oh, look! A super obvious switch right there on the wall. Who could've ever had guessed! I flip the switch and lasers fire at me! First blue, then blue again, and orange. Thankfully they're slow, so once I triggered the first blue laser I easily hit the deck to avoid the others that pass by.

"Setting booby traps on top of other traps now. Geez, Metta, I'm starting to think you don't like me very much. Well, that's fine. I don't like me either! So come at me already and quit this pussy bullshit!"

Calm down. No need to get riled up. Get through this and go home. Then I can just stuff my face with Nanny's awesome cheesecake and pass out happy. I march on, doing my best not to look down or notice how some of the walls and floors are chipped away. Now I'm paranoid about if any other laser that turns up is functional or decorative.

The path leads into a crossroads with a path to my left and a path straight ahead. My bullshit sense is tingling when I look at the left path. Straight ahead it is.

This room contains a bridge with many blue and orange lasers followed by a massive wall of blue lasers.

"Nope. Just nope. Screw the rules! I have plot armor importance and common sense!"

Fuck this outfit. Fuck this shit! I have lost all my fucks! I get down on the floor and combat crawl the long as fuck cold metal catwalk.

"*muttering* Stupid bullshit. Why do I have to be nice? If I wasn't nice, I wouldn't have to put up with shit like this. Bitches don't end up in laser catwalk traps. But no...I have to be a decent person. *getting louder* I have to be a good girl. I have to not give in to the overwhelming urge to punch assholes for being assholes because that's wrong for dumb reasons! *shouting* Why am I pissing myself off?! This is extremely counterproductive given my current situation! Fuck!!"

I blame all this on Mettaton. That's a healthy way to look at it. Probably not. But I'm not a mental health doctor! The fuck do I know?! After crossing the bridge, I storm grumpily along another walkway only to reach something called "Core Branch".

Turns out the "Core Branch" is a four-way intersection. Fan-fucking-tastic. Man, my mood is fucking sour. Maybe the digital sign can be useful and give me directions.

[North, the warrior's path. West, the sage's path. Any path leads to The End.]

"*growling* This is so...FUCKING STUPID!!"

Nope. Not falling for anymore of this. I choose neither side and go straight. This middle path of the "Core Branch" has me entering a vertical room with a right path leading to the eastern portion of the "Core Branch". There's nothing to my left. It just drops into the ozone, so it's certain death. I'm so sure this place followed all safety measures. There is a sign on the wall that is telling me to "Get lost...And stay that way".

"Wha...Why have signs telling me to leave when you told me to come here?! Stupid metal moron giving me dumb mixed messages."

I hate everything. No monster better encounter me while I'm in this mood. I take out a gold piece and flip it. Heads for straight and tails for the right. It lands on tails so right I go. This has to be the stupidest designed building ever! What the hell was Gaster thinking?! Was he on the drugs? Because this seems like he was on the drugs! 'Cause now I'm at another four-way crossroads. Only now I have two digital signs.

[To the East! This is The End.]

[I cannot fight. I cannot think. But, with patience, I will make my way through.]

A third, and hopefully final, tesla coil blocks what has been established as the exit. This means there's a switch somewhere. F that shit. Know what? You know what'll piss everyone off? I'm gonna do what that sign said. I'm going to be patient. Because if I know Mettaton, and I know massive egos very well, he won't want boring content to be televised and eventually spice things up. I plop my edgy tush under the sign and...wait. Using this time to chill. Let this negativity go and...

*Clank-clank-clank*

Oh hell no!

A large monster ominously approaches. Knight Knight is a monster that wields a great staff with a sun symbol in her right hand. She wears a suit of black armor and what resembles a horned helmet with a crescent moon emblazoned on her forehead. The helmet's eyepiece occasionally widens and un-widens as if it is her mouth. Her torso is dominated by a dragon face whose beak occasionally opens and closes, revealing a small eye. It is unclear whether which face is the true face.

"Let me guess...You're here to make me move?"

"Yes."

"No."

She's confused.

"...No?"

"Did I stutter? I'm not moving."

She readies her spear.

"Then prepare for..."

"Let me stop you right there. I get that you're doing your job and following the law, and blah blah blee bloo, whatever. I have been through one of THE worst days in my life. My mind, soul, and charitable goodwill have been pushed to limits that are very VERY thin now. I am in no mood to deal with any more crap. So I'm going to say this once because I ain't fighting you or moving from this spot till this electrical blockaded is gone...Turn around and go home."

She doesn't take me seriously and laughs.

"Heh heh...You have no power to give me orders, human."

She takes a step closer and I snap.

"I͏͟ ̧̀̕W͝IL͘͡L̴ ̶Ŗ͟͜I͝҉P͘ ̵O͜F̧F̛͞ ̸̀Y̧͡O̡͢U̡͠R ͠H̸EA̶͏D͏͢ ̸̕A͜N͢D S̢̛͜Ḩ̶Į͢T̵̕ ͝D̶̀OW͞N̷̴͠ ҉͞Ý̸̢O̡͡U̡͢R ̸ŅE̴͝CḰ̡̧!͞͞!̧͢"

She stumbles back in shock. The strange energy sparks off me. I regret everything.

"I̵'͘͟͏ḿ͢͞ ̧̕͞so̧̨͡r̴̢ŗ̷͜y̧.̵̛.̢͞.̛p̢l͝ea̷se͢.͟.́͢.leave me. I'm so sorry."

I seem to have disturbed her. She slowly steps back and turns around when she's convinced I'm not going to move.

"Adieu...Human."

She leaves me and I let out a shaky exhale. It's getting worse. I'm losing control. I can't do this for much longer. I haven't been given any proper time to deal with this shit. My internal bottle has been shaken too much! It's going to explode! I...I...

"What the heck was that?!"

Flowey pops up beside me and I'm too freaked out to be startled.

"Sis? What's wrong?"

I hold myself in an attempt to squeeze into a tiny ball of self-loathing. This only worries him more.

"Lynsie?"

I...I can't...I need a break. If only I had my music. I could drown out all this. Lose myself in the lyrics.

"B-Bro..."

"Yes? Talk to me. I can help. Tell me what you need."

"...H-How fast can you get to Snowdin?"

He frowns.

"You want me to get 'him', don't you?"

All I can do is nod.

"I...I can help too. You don't have to turn to him."

My eyes dart to the blocked path. He puts things together. He is a smart boy after all.

"True. Mettaton is that way and the room his encounter takes place in is an elevating platform. I can stretch from my roots pretty far but not THAT far."

He pouts.

"*huff* I guess there's no other option. He does have experience helping you out when things get bad. And he can teleport."

I feel bad that I'm making him do this...again. Like in the dead timeline.

"I...I'm sorry."

"Wha...N-No! Don't apologize. I understand. You're worried. It's okay. We'll get through this. Family helps family. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't do everything to help? Even if that means getting others to help when I can't."

"...I need a hug...please?"

It pains me to see him hesitate. But vines come out to wrap around me for a bit.

"Thank you."

The vines retract and he extends to nuzzle my cheek.

"It won't be like last time. I promise. You won't kill anyone. No one's going to die."

"H-How do you know?"

"Because you're strong. You just have to believe in yourself. I know I do."

...I needed that. I give him a smile.

"There we go. There's my sis. Now keep that smile. I'll get Smiley Trashbag and we'll be back home with mom in no time."

He really is too sweet for this world. He sinks into the floor and I forgot to ask how he was able to get through this floor. I mean, I guess he said he can get through cement so metal can't be too far of a long shot. Asriel sure is a super strong boy even as a flower.

*BUZZ*

The power to the coil suddenly is shut off remotely like I so knew it could be. Damn it. I was hoping to have more time. How impatient is Mettaton for this? Reluctantly, I get up and walk down this new road. Halfway along this bridge, I am blocked by three vaguely familiar monsters that look like tougher versions of monsters I see in the Ruins.

Final Froggit has spike-like protrusions on its head and eyelids, accompanied by a crown-like muff on top of its head. Its lips are marked with lines, as though wrinkled from age. Its "shoulders" are decorated with sharp excrescents, while the silhouette between its legs forms a face with a triangular smile and cross eyes.

Whimsalot has a more human-like appearance than Whimsun. Also, its antennae are thicker, and there is a muff on their head that branches in two. Whimsalot's appearance is also accompanied by a double-bladed spear and a knight mask. Its ghost-like torso is skinnier and shorter.

Astigmatism's body consists of a large ball and four spiked limbs. The ball is accompanied by two "horns" on each side. When idle, a large eye can be seen on the ball also with three eyelashes. However, it changes from this face to another where the eye hollow is changed with a smile. When having its eye closed, the two side eyelashes become Astigmatism's eyes, while the middle one simply becomes a marking.

I don't know what I must look like to them. Probably dreadful. Because they move aside with not a word being side. I nod in thanks, proceeding to the end which for all I know might be the most tragic moment of my life second to Grillby dying. No! Stop it! Do as Flowey said. Smile. Stay chipper. Think of something silly. Like how dumb this place is. Honestly, was Gaster high making this place? I'll have to ask him later. Nah...I'll ask Sans. Less hassle.

The bridge comes to an end, leading to a shadowy doorway and an elevator that probably would've been super handy but was out of order to pad out the length of this bullshit subplot. Augh...It's so much easier to think my life is a fictional story or internet abridge series. It's the only way my brain allows most of this crap to make any sense.

"So this is it, huh? The epic conclusion of this grand show. Heh...I want to feel accomplished for making it this far. Almost. But all I do feel is..."

I can't finish my sentence. The weight I thought I got off my back earlier begins pressing on me again.

"Nothing...I feel nothing. *sniffling* Damn it...Don't fucking cry!"

With a breakdown seconds away from happening, I enter the doorway to the room of darkness and a door shuts behind me then locks. There is no going back now.

Please...I made a promise...Please...Don't make me have to RESET...Please...I'm begging...Please...

[jungshook69]

Cold heart

DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t represent the members’ actions or the army’s actions in any manner it’s pure fiction. This is an original work, do not copy.

WORD COUNT: 3.9K

PAIRING/S: Yoongi X female reader ; Hoseok X female reader

GENRE: Divorce au

WARNINGS: Mentions of cheating and divorce and angst.

SUMMARY: “He doesn’t love me anymore. I gave him my heart as a whole, only for him to break it in return. I never knew my life would turn out this way. I never knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do such a thing. But I was wrong. I knew I chose the wrong person, but it was too late.”

A/N: I was really happy seeing the love my first fanfic received. Honestly I didn’t expect more than one note on it, but was pleasantly surprised considering it’s my first time on here. Well hope you guys like it and it does well:) Also I’m sorry in advance if there’s any spelling errors:(

Y/N’s POV:

Another day, another dinner left cold. I gripped the plate on which the now cold steak lay and placed it in the fridge. I don’t know why I worked so hard to make it when I knew, he wouldn’t be home in time to enjoy it. I wrapped up my cold dinner, which I was planning to eat with him too, and placed it in the fridge. I walked over to the couch in the living room of the big empty house and sat by the fireplace waiting for my husband to return home. Before I knew it I was out like a light.

I woke up when I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as I felt goosebumps line the skin of my bare arms. The fire had died out and the lights were also out. I checked my phone to see the time, 2.00 AM. Was he not home yet? I walked up the stairs and saw Yoongi sleeping on the bed, still dawning his work attire. He must’ve been really tired.

I shuffled over and removed his socks and tie and watch. I’ve been his wife for 5 years now, stinky socks is something I’ve learned to deal with over time. I also sensed the reeking smell of alcohol from his breath. Must’ve gone to the bar with the guys from his office. At least he could’ve told me, then I wouldn’t have put so much effort into making him dinner. I unbuttoned his shirt, as I knew he liked to sleep comfortably. When I was folding his shirt and keeping his belongings away I noticed a bruise on his neck. I leaned over to take a closer look and realized what it was.

It was a hickey.

My eyes brimmed with tears as I held my breath to not make any noise. I entered the bathroom and sank to the floor, leaning against the door, burying my head in my knees. I knew this time would come at some point, I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.

Me and Yoongi met in university. He was my first love, and I really thought he would be my last. The last 5 years of marriage had been rough. I gave him all my love, but he was still cold and distant. Talking had reduced from chatting about literally everything to a simple “I’m going be late home from work” between us. I loved him unconditionally but I didn’t feel the same being returned.

Over the last year or so it had gotten worse. I once even found an earring in the back of his car, and he claimed that he had bought it as a present for me. He often came home smelling like women’s cologne but I didn’t question it. It wasn’t because I was naïve. It was because I loved him so much that I didn’t wanna let him go. But now my suspicions were confirmed.

I tried to desperately steady my breathing and stood up and looked in the mirror. I then reached over to the drawer and picked up the pregnancy test I has stashed away. I stared at the two lines etched onto it. I was going to break it to him tonight. He always used protection with me because he told me he didn’t want kids. But I guess that one night we had when he had launched himself at me after he came back drunk caused this. I didn’t care if it was an accident. Because I wanted a baby. I never really complained since he didn’t want one.

I was thinking about how to address the situation at hand. I needed to let him know. I decided that I would reveal everything to him at our anniversary dinner. And maybe question him about his hickey the same night too. I ended up sleeping in the guest room that night, because I didn’t wanna be anywhere near that lying man.

TIME SKIP: NEXT DAY

Yoongi had just left for work after eating only half of the eggs and sausages I had made him. I picked up my phone and called the one person in this world who cared about me, Yoongi’s friend, but who had grown closer to me now, Hoseok.

“Hey Y/N, good morning” his sweet voice greeted me.

“Hi Hobi” I replied.

“Wassup?”

“Ummm nothing… are you busy?”

“Actually no, I was just gonna head out and get some coffee”

“Oh perfect can you meet me at café xxx in 10 minutes, I wanna talk to you.”

“Sure… you okay?”

“yeah… I’ll see you there”

“Okay byee”

I grabbed my phone and straightened out my attire and headed out. I saw him waiting at a table and joined him there.

“Hi Y/N, what happened?” he asked immedietly.

“I’m pregnant.” I whispered.

“W-what?!” He said choking on his coffee.

“It’s true…”

“It’s Yoongi’s… right?”

“Yeah of course, who else’s would it be?”

“No it’s just, I thought you guys weren’t that close anymore…”

“Yeah but it happened…”

“You need to tell him Y/N I know he may seem cold, but maybe if you tell him— ”

“I think Yoongi’s cheating on me” 

“WHAT?!” He accidently yelled.

“Hobi shush people are staring” I whisper-yelled at him.

“Sorry, but seriously what?!”

“I think its been happening for a year, they were always subtle things but after seeing a hickey on his neck last night…”

“I’m so sorry Y/N” he said, his eyes softening.

“It’s not your fault is it? But I am gonna confront him tonight.”

“If you ever need anything Y/N I’m just a phone call away…”

“Thank you so much Hobi I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Anything for you Y/N” He mumbled into his coffee cup.

I sipped on my coffee dreading to talk to him tonight.

TIME SKIP: SAME NIGHT

I waited. And waited. Like I always do. My pregnancy test was in my pocket. Dinner was served out on plates and the candle had almost completely melted away as I waited for him to arrive.

1 hour, nothing.

2 hours, nothing.

But luckily, I heard the familiar jingling of keys and the door opened to reveal a disheveled Yoongi. He made his way to the table and sat down in front of his plate without saying a word. He stared down at his plate. He didn’t reek of alcohol, so that was a good sign.

I didn’t spring the whole “Why are you late?” thing on him. Instead I asked, “Tired?”

“…” No words escaped Yoongi’s mouth.

“Well do you remember what today is? It’s our 6th anniversary!”

He didn’t say a word instead he got up from the table leaving the food untouched and opened his bag. He fished out a folder and placed it in front of me.

I grew curious and opened it to find a document inside. My heart stopped. My breath became short but in fear of harming the second heart beating in my stomach I steadied my breath.

There laid out in front of me were… divorce papers.

“Listen Y/N…” Yoongi spoke up “I’ve fallen in love with someone else…”

My heart shattered into a million pieces. I couldn’t fathom the words this man was uttering.

“I’ve been seeing someone else… behind your back for a year now… An- And she’s pregnant, and I cant just leave her alone, it’s my baby, so I’ve decided to raise it with her…”

I couldn’t find my voice. My words were stuck at the back of my throat and I began choking on the tears I was holding back.

“Listen if you want I can give you some things like my car in the divorce to help you out till you find a job… but she needs to stay in this house with me so…”

I picked up the pen in a blind rage and signed the papers. I slammed the papers in his face and took my crying mess of a face upstairs. I dragged out the biggest bag I could find and stuffed everything I could fit in there. My hands wavered on the pendant he had given me. Without a second thought I stuffed it under all my clothes.

I then dragged my suitcase down the stairs to see his eyes widen as they followed my struggling form down the stairs. I met his eyes for a second, mine overflowing with water, pouring down my face, while his remained stone cold with a slight hint of guilt ridden in them.

“Y/N…” He started.

“Yoongi… I loved you with all my heart. All I did was g-give and all you did was take from me. You n-never returned those feelings. I trusted you and you b-broke me. If you would’ve told me a year earlier I would’ve saved you a whole year of pain of living with me, and p-pretending to love me. This is the last time you’ll be seeing us again Yoongi.”

Without another word I walked out of that house. The house I thought would be filled with our children running all over the place. He didn’t try to stop me and neither did I expect him to.

I didn’t have parents. I didn’t have siblings. I had only Yoongi. I picked up my phone to call the only name I could think of, Hoseok.

TIME SKIP: 1 HOUR LATER

Luckily Hobi had picked me up and brought me over to his place. I was now sitting on his bed leaned into his chest as he snuggled me up in a blanket. A warm mug of hot chocolate provided heat to my shivering fingers.

“So you never got to tell him...” he said softly.

“I couldn’t Hobi, knowing that he’d fallen out of love with me, I couldn’t possibly lay this burden on him”

“Well he should’ve thought about it before sticking his— ”

“Hobi!”

“Sorry… it’s just… it’s his kid! And you’re gonna raise it alone?”

“Yes… I don’t have a choice”

“Listen, Y/N you’re one of my closest friends, and I know I’ve confessed to you before and you said no because you were loyal to Yoongi…” he said scratching the back of his neck nervously “but if it’s not too early to ask… I’d like to help you raise the baby…”

“W-what?” I said, utterly taken back.

“Yeah…”

“But why would you want to? I’m no better! I’m a burden! Why would you wanna help someone who rejected your kind heart just to stay loyal to her cheater of a husband, raise a baby that’s not even yours!”

“Because love is patient Y/N… I told you no matter what happened, even if you did reject my proposal, I would always wait for you… and no I’m not forcing you to love me back immediately… but I truly do want to help you raise this baby…”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I cried out as I engulfed him in a strong hug. He rested his chin on my head as he held me close to the warmth of his chest.

TIME SKIP: 6 YEARS LATER

I looked at the beautiful gold ring laying on my finger as I felt a smile creep onto my face. I heard a familiar giggle sweep through the air as I shifted my gaze up to see Hobi push Yoonji on the swings, a wide grin framing her beautiful face.

Every time I looked at her gummy smile, it reminded me of a certain someone, a certain someone who I had not seen for the last 6 years. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Yoonji’s loud squeal, “Mommy! Mommy!”

I held my arms out as she ran into my embrace and I sat her down on my lap. Hobi joined us and took a seat next to me on the park bench and laid his hand around my shoulders. I smiled at Hobi. I was so grateful he came into my life.

We then headed over to our apartment after Yoonji was done playing for the day. I held one of her hands while her other hand was held by Hobi. We lifted her off the ground as she soared high up before jumping back down. Her giggles filled the air around us. Everything was perfect. Too perfect.

As soon as we reached home I put Yoonji down to bed because she was tired from running around in the playground all day. I was in the kitchen when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist. I felt a soft kiss on my neck. I turned around and gave Hobi a peck on the lips.

“Babe…” he started.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you want to rent this place?”

“Yeah I’m sure…”

We were currently living in a cramped small apartment. But over the last 2 years me and Hobi have been working really hard and we had finally saved up enough money to buy a bigger house.

“Well I wanted to remind you that the new family is going to come over tomorrow morning to see the place”

“Oh right! Thanks for reminding me honey”

“We’re going to buy our first house together…” he said leaning against the kitchen counter, a smile spreading across his face.

“Baby…” I said turning towards him.

“Yeah?”

“I want to… I want to start a family… with you…”

“We already are a family…”

“No I mean… I want to start… trying…” I said a blood rushing to my cheeks.

Hobi had talked to me about kids. He wanted to have a baby of his own. Not that he didn’t love Yoonji. He loved her with all his heart. But he loved me and wanted to expand our family and bring a child of his own into our little family. But I wasn’t ready just yet. Although he remained patient and didn’t bring up the topic ever since.

“W-with me? You want to?” He said his eyes wide.

“Yes” I said looking down at my feet.

“I love you so much Y/N!” He said picking me up off my feet as he twirled me around and planted a kiss on my lips.

“I love you too Hobi”

“Let’s get ready for dinner! Then it’s baby-making time!”

“Yaaahhh!” I said flustered as he left to wake up Yuna for dinner. After dinner we went to sleep early as we were all exhausted and I awaited the next day.

TIME SKIP: NEXT MORNING

Yoonji was still asleep as it was pretty early. I got dressed in some jeans and a sweater and me and Hobi waited for the family to arrive.

“I really hope they accept the offer” I said anxiously rubbing my palms against my thighs.

DING DONG

We walked to the door and I was greeted by a pretty woman with hazel brown hair. She was dressed in a coat and a knee length dress and pointy heels and pearls adorned her pale neck. She held onto a smaller individual’s hand who hid behind the woman’s legs.

I felt a bit under dressed but didn’t think much of it. I bent down to the kids level and said, “Heyy I’m Y/N what’s your name?”

I watched as the little boy uncovered his face and looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes. The woman, who I presumed was his mother spoke up, “His name is Minho”.

“Well hi Minho” I said holding out my hand. I felt his tiny hand cup two of my fingers as he shook my hand.

“Hi” he spoke up in a tiny voice.

“Cute” I said standing back up.

I soon led Minho to Yoonji’s room as she had awoken, and had laid out a few toys for them to entertain themselves with.

I slightly closed the door to Yoonji’s room leaving it partially ajar so as to not disturb them. After we had provided the lady with some coffee I asked, “So… just the two of you?”

“Actually my husband is going to be 10 minutes late… he’s running late from work… I think he’ll be here any minute now…”

“Oh okay…”

As Hobi began talking to her about the square footage of the house I heard the doorbell ring.

“That must be him” the woman said.

“I’ll get it” I said making my way to the door simultaneously drinking my coffee.

I opened the door to meet an all-too-familiar face. I froze as I lost the grip on my coffee cup. It shattered to the ground. Hobi became alarmed and ran to help me but froze too when he saw the woman’s husband standing in the doorway mouth agape.

Yoongi.

After we had all comeback to our senses Hobi had seated everyone in the living room. I had excused myself to the bathroom. I couldn’t hold in the few tears that traced my cheeks now. But I gathered myself together and wiped my puffy eyes as I made my way outside. Hobi was only talking to the woman who I think was oblivious of who we really were about the price of the apartment. After an uncomfortable amount of silence the woman brought Minho out and was ready to leave. The whole time I could feel Yoongi’s gaze burn a literal hole in me.

“Baby, should we leave?” she said addressing Yoongi.

“Umm… gimme a second I want to talk to Mr. Jung here about something for a second. Take Minho and the car home, I’ll come over later by a cab.”

“But—”

“It’s okay go” he said nodding.

Without another word she left with her son. Then Yoongi finally spoke up “Hi Y/N, long time no see”

“Hello Yoongi”

“Hey Hoseok”

“Hey” he said, a slight bitter undertone to his voice.

“So Y/N… how are you?” he nervously began.

“Why’re you here?” I said finally snapping, my voice breaking as I tried to hold in my tears.

“I just wanted to ask how you’re doing…”

“You didn’t seem to care when you left her alone without anything 6 years ago…” Hobi mumbled.

“Excuse me?” Yoongi said side-eyeing him.

“You heard me”

“For your information I was talking to Y/N”

“Well she’s not comfortable, so get out” Hobi defended.

“Who do you think you are to tell me that?”

“Get out!”

“Make me” he said grabbing Hobi’s collar without hesitation.

“Stop it! Leave him alone Yoongi!” I said screaming, tears pouring down my cheeks “Don’t talk to my husband that way!”

“Your husband?” he said loosening his grip on Hobi’s collar.

“Mommy?” a soft voice broke the tension in the room.

“Yoonji please go back inside, mommy and daddy are just talking to a friend okay?”

“Okay…” she said walking back inside her room.

“A kid too?! Wow you couldn’t keep in your pants could you Hoseok!” Yoongi snarled.

That’s when I lost it. I slapped him.

“For your information Yoongi, Hoseok has been nothing but a literal angel to me! Get that through your little pea-sized brain! He helped me when I was broken, he took care of me when you left my broken self alone!” I said heaving “And guess what?!”

“No Y/N don’t…” Hobi softly whispered.

“SHE’S YOUR BABY!” I yelled out to his face.

“W-what?” he said his eyes wide “Y-your lying!”

“Why would I lie about something like this? Yes Yoongi I was pregnant. Remember the day of our anniversary dinner? When you threw the divorce papers in my face? I was going to tell you that night!”

“Well why didn’t you?”

“What would you have done if I did tell you huh? I knew you wouldn’t love me like you loved your now wife. I’d rather raise my child alone, than with someone who doesn’t love her.”

“Y/N…” he tried to speak up.

“D-don’t… just don’t Yoongi, I have a happy family now… please leave…”

A heavy guilt settled in his heart as he spoke up “Can I at least see her?”

I looked at Hobi and he gave me a small nod.

“Yoonji, come out sweetheart…”

She walked out and Yoongi dropped to his knees. For the first time, his eyes looked broken from the inside.

“Meet mommy’s friend…”

Yoonji walked over and said “Hi, I’m Yoonji” and held out her hand. Yoongi took her hand is his and squeezed tightly. I could see his eyes moisten up “Hi Yoonji, you’re very beautiful… just like you’re mother…”

“Yoonji please go back inside dear…” I said.

“You should leave now” I said addressing Yoongi.

“Can we talk?… please…” he said with pleading eyes.

I looked at Hobi and he led Yoonji by the shoulders to her bedroom after giving me a slight nod.

“I’ll walk you downstairs.”

With that we left the apartment. We seated ourselves down on the steps leading to the apartment building.

“I really hurt you didn’t I?” he spoke up breaking the silence.

“Stating the obvious… but yes you did.”

“I promise if I’d known, I would never have left you… like I did”

“I understand, it’s not your fault… you fell out of love with me, I wasn’t enough…”

“No Y/N you were always enough, it was my fault, and… I’m sorry…” he said sighing.

After a minute of silence he spoke again, “So Yoonji huh? Is it because…?”

“Yes Yoonji – Yoongi your right. That’s why I named her that. Every time I look at her, I see a reflection of you smiling back at me…”

“I’m sorry, I truly am” he said breathlessly. “I forgive you” I said a small smile forming on my lips. What’s the point in holding an endless grudge? I was in a good place in my life so why not forgive the sins of the past?

I felt his hand land on my thigh as he turned to look at me. I turned my gaze and looked him in the eyes. For once I saw warmth and compassion behind them. He leaned in, our faces dangerously close. I felt his warm breath fan my lips as I felt him slowly closing the space between us.

I placed a finger on his soft lips, stopping him inches away from meeting mine. “I love Hoseok, and I know you love your wife… this is wrong…”

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh well my cab’s here… I’ll see you around Y/N”

“Yoongi wait” I called out and I reached down to my neck and unhooked the necklace hanging off of it. It was the charm Yoongi had given to me back in university, when he had first asked me out.

I placed the necklace in his palm and closed his fist with my fingers curling over his.

“Bye Yoongi" I said.

“Bye Y/N" Before I could react he planted a small peck on my forehead and ran over and hopped into his taxi. Without another word, I watched the taxi drive away.

I stood there alone on the street thinking about my life as the cool breeze flew by. I could’ve given up pretty easily 6 years ago when Yoongi left me. I could’ve given up on life. But thankfully I had my special someone who brought me out of my dark thoughts and had helped me believe that I could still live a better life ahead of me. Just because Yoongi was my first love, my heart had forced itself to ignore all the flaws in the relationship. And look at me now, I had a beautiful family with Yoonji and Hobi awaiting me upstairs in my apartment.

Always remember, your first love isn’t always your last. Life isn’t a fairytale. Destiny can be cruel. But it’s your job to pull through and make it count. To never give up. Anything is possible, if you’re with the right people.

*A/N: I hope you guys liked it:) Smile for me:)*

Don’t forget to follow @jungshook69​ for more content:) You can check out more works of mine here. Have a great day:)

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 30: The Best Uncle

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 1964

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy, cussing, light fluff.

A/N: This did not turn out as good I wanted it to be, but it still gets the point across. Oh, and also, don’t let the GIF deceive you. This is obviously still a Steve fic!

“Y/N?” Tony called out as he opened the door to her bedroom, which he had to override the locking system to get into. It wasn’t something that he took pride in doing, but she hadn’t left her room in over 48 hours, and he knew that she wouldn’t unlock it on her own.

The whole team, or at least what was left of it, was extremely worried about her. Sure, Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Wanda leaving meant something to everybody. But for Y/N to loose her husband was an especially big deal.

“Y/N?” The man called again, not being able to see anything in the pitch black of her room. All of the lights were off and all of the blinds were shut, despite it only being 6:00 in the evening. “N/N?”

An audible groan came from the middle of the space, making Tony realize that she was on her bed. He turned on the flashlight from his electronic watch, courtesy of his very own Stark technology, and made his way towards her bedside table, switching on the lamp.

“Turn it off.” The girl whined, rolling around to face away from him and burying herself deeper under the covers. She was still wearing the same clothes that he had found her in two days before, when he gave her the letter and essentially broke her heart. “Go away.” The man heard a small sniffle. “Please, just go.”

“N/N,” Tony spoke while still hovering over her bed awkwardly, “we really should talk about this. I know how much it hurts, but you can’t stay in here forever.”

She shook her head, just clinging harder onto the pillow that she was holding in her arms. Steve’s pillow. “P-Please go.”

The man finally realized that she was crying, instantly making him wonder if she had been doing so for the full 48 hours. “We have to talk about this, Y/N.” He sat down on the edge of her bed.

“I don’t ‘wanna.” She said while wiping her eyes, finally turning around to face him. It wasn’t hard to see the guilt painted on Tony’s face, and she now felt just as bad. Y/N knew that her husband leaving wasn’t Tony’s fault; Steve was plenty old enough to make his own choices.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie.” The man gave her the biggest smile he could muster at the moment. “I know that my apology won’t bring him back, but I just wanted you to know that I truly am sorry.”

The girl shook her head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” She inhaled a shaky breath and absentmindedly rested her hands on her still flat stomach, a small habit that she had developed over the last couple days. “Maybe if I had-”

“Hey, hey, hey, N/N.” Tony sternly interrupted. “This is in no way your fault.”

She slowly began to sob again, the topic being too hard for her to bear. “I-I-I’m just...” she sniffled, “I’m just so sad. A-And I want to be angry. I don’t want to be bawling my eyes out, I want to be cursing his name. B-But I can’t, Tony, I can’t.” The girl hid her face behind her hands, too embarrassed to be seen by anybody. “Because all I do is miss him. Oh god, I just miss him so bad, Tony.”

The man hadn’t even noticed that he started to tear up as well, just the sound of her devastated voice making him feel so horrible. “I’m sorry, N/N. Incredibly sorry. But I don’t know what to do. How can I help? Just tell me, hon.”

She sniffled. “Well, there is one thing you can do.”

“What is it?” Tony’s face immediately lit up, happy that he could help her in any way.

“Grab me a Kleenex?”

The man let out a small chuckle before leaning over to her nightstand, grabbing a couple of tissues and handing them to her. Y/N sat up to lean against her headboard as she dried her eyes and cheeks.

“Thanks.” She gave him a small smile.

The pair became quiet, the only sound in the room being the girl’s laboured breaths from all of the previous crying.

“I-I’m scared, Tony.” She breathed out after a minute’s time, now beginning to play with the tissues in her hands out of nervousness. “I’m really, really scared.”

“Of what, N/N?”

“W-What if he never comes back?” She spoke, meeting his eyes with a sad gaze. “A-And I know that he hurt you, so I don’t know, maybe you don’t even want him to come back, but I really need him here.”

Tony shook his head. “Yes, he hurt me. But I do care about you, and I hate that you have to feel like this.”

Y/N nodded, feeling grateful to have such an amazing friend. She knew that he deserved to know the full story of what was going on with her, but was just a bit too scared to say. What would he think? Would he be excited? Would he become more stressed? Would he think of her as nothing but a burden? All of these thoughts ran through the girl’s mind, before she ultimately decided to just go for it.

“I have to tell you something.” She blurted out, feeling more tears threatening to fall. Damn hormones. “I-I... oh, goodness.”

“What is it?” Tony questioned. “You can tell me.”

“I know, it’s just-”

“I’ve walked in on you on the toilet, N/N.” The man added, hoping to lighten the mood. “It can’t get anymore embarrassing than that.”

Y/N quietly giggled, sniffling right afterwards. She felt him grab her hand in support, finally feeling secure enough to let out her big secret. “I’m pregnant, Tony.”

She saw his eyebrows furrow and head shake back and forth in denial. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.” She stated again while using a more confident tone of voice, greatly contrasting how she felt on the inside. “I found out two days ago, only several hours before you handed me that letter.”

“I-” He was at a loss for words. “Oh my god, Y/N.”

“Just great, right?” She said sarcastically, looking up at the ceiling to keep the tears inside her eyes instead of falling down her face. “My husband and I have been trying to start a family for months, and when we finally do, he leaves.”

“Here.” Tony spoke while passing her the whole tissue box. He saw her wipe her eyes once again, feeling his heart clench at the sad sight. Poor Y/N.

“And it’s not like he knew, obviously.” The girl continued on. “It’s just, fuck, the first time we ever discussed these accords together, he told me he’d stop working for a little while if I got pregnant. If I had just known a little bit sooner-”

“Don’t dwell, Y/N.” The man cut her off, still in complete shock. “It’ll just make things worse.”

She scoffed. “As if things can get worse.”

Tony rubbed her arm soothingly, looking into her glistening E/C eyes. He didn’t want to sound rude, but the question just tugged at his mind. “Are you going to keep it?” He watched her quirk her head to the side in confusion. “You know, the baby? There’s always adoption, or-”

“I want to have the baby.” Y/N told him. “I want to keep the baby.” She shook her head slowly, bringing her hands to her middle once again. “I already love him or her so much.”

Tony slightly smiled, stretching out an arm for her. “Come here.”

The girl took this as a clue for her to cuddle in, and she did exactly so, wrapping her own arm around his waist as they sat on the edge of her bed.

For one of the first times in their whole friendship, the man wasn’t making any jokes. He wasn’t poking fun, saying sarcastic or witty comments. He was just being there for her; hugging her, holding her. Y/N had never before felt more gratitude towards him than in that very moment.

“I don’t want you to worry, sweet pea. You have a living being in you, that’s stressful enough as it is.”

She sighed and briefly closed her watery eyes. “I-It’s just so hard, Tony. I just miss him, and it’s his child too.”

“I know, honey, I know.” The man nodded, running his hand up and down her back, before he came upon a realization. “There, uh, there might be a way for us to contact him.”

“Huh?” Y/N’s ears suddenly perked up. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he gave us his new number in case we need anything.” Tony explained. “He programmed into an old flip one, that way any calls can’t be traced back to us directly.” He heard her puff out a breath, clearly surprised at this new information. “We can call if you wa-”

“No.”

The man was taken aback at her quick response, honestly expecting to hear the opposite answer. “‘No?’”

“Exactly. ’No’. He clearly has better things to do than talking to me.” Y/N stated quite resentfully.

“N/N, you know that’s not true. He loves you more than anythi-”

“Really?” She spoke shakily. “Because last time I checked, men who love their wives don’t leave their wives.”

“Y/N-”

“Look, Tony, I’m not debating on this with you, or anyone for that matter.” She lifted anther tissue to her eyes, dabbing lightly at the now red skin. “He made a choice. I’m not to going to sit at the phone and beg for him to return. Do I think that he would come back if I told him about the baby? Yes. But I don’t want him to resent me, or even his son or daughter for getting in the way of whatever was so important. Steve can decide for himself whether or not I’m important enough for him to return. If the only reason he comes back is for feeling guilty the baby, who’s to say what he’d actually rather be doing.”

Tony just nodded, not wanting to argue with the clearly very emotional woman. Everybody knew that Steve would rather be with Y/N than anywhere else, but she was probably just too distraught to see it right now. “Well, don’t worry about doing this on your own. Okay? You’ll always have me, and you’ll always have the rest of our team too.”

She smiled, genuinely smiled for the first time in a couple of days. “Thank you, Tony.”

“No problem.” He grinned back. “Now come on,” Tony spoke, rubbing a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I was about to make dinner.”

“You?” Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, but I’m already having enough trouble keeping things down.”

The man sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll order us dinner.” He shook his head with a small chuckle. “I see your attitude is still in place, though.”

“Sorry.” She shrugged sheepishly while Tony just brushed it off.

“I was kidding. You’re pregnant, so, uh, be as mean as you want.” He watched as Y/N giggled before standing himself up, offering her his hand to get off the bed as well. “Now, it’s been way too long since you’ve had a good meal; judging from all those candy bar wrappers, anyway. So come on, you’re eating for two now. You have to stay healthy and stro-”

Tony was suddenly cut off by a big hug, which he instantly sank into. He ran his hands up and down the girls back, feeling her gradually calm down in his embrace.

“Thank you.” She quietly spoke against his shoulder, giving his torso another squeeze filled with gratitude. Y/N took a deep breath, feeling safe and secure inside of his arms, and finally having the hope that things will all work out okay. “You’re going to be just the best uncle.”

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!

Taglist: @crist1216 @songforhema @the-obsessive-fangirl @stressedandbandobessed7771 @straightforwardly @fruitypebbles34 @krazykatkay456 @the-kang-bang @uhh-katie-griffiths @mcuclintasha @capsiclesdoll  @allsortsofinterests @nova3312 @tyes-girl @kind-sober-fullydressed @mschrisaholic @shirukitsune @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @mccloudchloe @notyourtypicalrose @spider-captain @jesseswartzwelder @firecatcher007 @ctrl-alt-jeon @dixonluvv @may-machin​ @elew223​ @fallenoutofrose​ @secretsihideinside​ @kaetastic​

Tell me if you want to be added!❤️

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the  S E C O N D  HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start  r u n n i n g   a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

:)

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

[comicteaparty]

March 30th-April 5th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from   March 30th, 2020 to April 5th, 2020.  The chat focused on  Crypts and Cantrips by Kieran Thompson.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Crypts and Cantrips by Kieran Thompson~! (http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until April 5th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Just starting the first chapter...hmm, what is the establishment hiding, that they're so against the idea of making new maps?

And I'm intrigued by the idea of a society that's frankly & cheerfully accepting of trans people, but also, doesn't know that lesbians exist? Or has a fixation on a super-narrow PIV-specific idea of virginity. Or both? If the issue was "this person can't be allowed to get pregnant before the arranged marriage or it would be A Scandal," that would be a logical reason to divide up which sexy things are "safe" vs. which aren't, but it isn't framed that way...

Okay, end-of-the-chapter blurb says that is what it's about. It's just odd that the dialogue was coy about "the issue is pregnancy" while being so blunt about other things. (I was just reading another comic with a trans princess character, and wow, what an awkward plot twist that could lead to. "So, the good news is, there wasn't an accidental pregnancy in the direction you were afraid of, but...")

"I made a fantasy trope in this comic work the way I wish it worked in a certain other canon" is such a great motivator.

Geez, this kid's only been adventuring for 5 minutes before someone gets murdered in front of him. Poor guy.

...on the bright side, oh good, the princess is aware that lesbians exist.

Loving this axolotl dragon art. http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/comic/chapter-3-extras-17/

And the orca dragon that follows.

Have now read through the Dramatic Twist. Not gonna go into details for the sake of other first-time readers, but it's more complicated than these plots usually seem to get in fantasy settings, and I'm into it.

warriorneedsfood

I like the comic. The relationships are fun to watch develop. I found the character introductions a little awkward with the announcement of their various types of sexuality. But after establishing them, I found their personalities interesting and was looking forward to reading more.

RebelVampire

What I liked about the beginning of the comic is kind of just how quickly it starts world-building with stuff like the issue of discrimination in the market or just the general name dropping of stuff. All of it felt pretty natural, and as I consider world-building vitally important for fantasy, I really liked the comic didn't hide its punches. My favorite moment was actually when the stranger on the road said "please come help my wagon" and then it devolved into them being attacked. This is like one of the most stereotypical fantasy things to happen, but that's kind of why I liked it. It added familiar comfort food with all the new stuff, and I liked just having something like that 100% met my expectations for what was about to happen. My favorite character right now is definitely Taneli. I love just how sweet and accepting she is. But I also kind of like she's just really...not entirely capable because she's lived the sheltered palace life and not gotten out much. Usually that's something I'd find annoying, but something about Taneli just makes it work so I absolutely adore how overall innocent she is even in spite of being stuck in an arranged marriage. I like seeing Kitov and Taneli interact the most. They have a beautiful, touching, and supportive relationship going on and I like how theyre similar in regards to world experience. It doesn't make it feel like either of them is somehow superior or has the upperhand, so it's just communication between equals.

RebelVampire

As for the art, I really like the character designs. They aren't overly complicated, but are each very unique as well, and I think overall they got that right fantasy DnD vibe to them that just really suits the story being told. I kind of like that the story is exploring the theme of duty and arranged marriages. Usually when it comes to arranged marriage, 90% of stories write protagonists that do everything in their power to escape and express their individuality and freedom. But I like that this story is kind of exploring the idea of duty and how we as people deal with the concept. I also just in general like it's exploring the political things surrounding it. Like I love that frank conversation Taneli had with the king about marrying him for the kid to become the ruler, and he was completely unoffended seeming. This was just a real refreshing approach since as much as I love freedom, I also love talking about when duty needs to override freedom. As for what I like about the comic's story is that this really feels like a tabletop campaign. So many stories claim to be tabletop rpg-like, but they really deviate from the feel I imagine when I think of such a story. So I kind of like that this comic captures that spirit of adventure perfectly. As for the comic's overall strengths, for me it's just kind of the whole fantasy package. Between the art, the world-building, story's feel of being a tabletop, I think the comic is like the epitome of high fantasy and hits all the notes I personally believe high fantasies need to hit. So if someone said fantasy comic, this would be at the top of the list for a comic I would think of.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Why do you think King Rishor was murdered, and why was Taneli seemingly framed in the process? Also, how do you think Leo got involved in everything, and how big of a role do you think he had in the plot?

10. What do you think will happen to Kitov and company as they search for answers and try to avoid capture? Will the group be able to find Leo, and if so, will that be enough to clear their names of suspicion?

11. Given Kitov and Taneli are both similar in regards to their experience levels, how do you think the events of the story will change them and their perspectives on the world? In what ways do you think they’ll remain the same?

12. How do you think the world itself will be affected by King Rishor’s death? Could it escalate into a war, or might Minash Turgal change for the worse? How will this affect characters like Lirre who helps Kitov and company out?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I get the impression King Rishor was probably murdered for two reasons. Once, to destabilize the country/kingdom/w/e you wanna call it, and two to start some sort of war (hence why you frame Taneli). Leo I think is just the pawn of someone else. In some ways, I kind of feel like Leo is a victim of great pain and that pain was somehow manipulated for nefarious means. As for Kitov and company, I think they'll find Leo, but heck no will that clear them of suspicion. You can't just escape and have no consequences or continued suspicion. That will not play into their favor. SO they're gonna have to just dig deeper and deeper into the plot and still run from the law at every turn. Though I do kind of feel they'll wind up back home at some point and find out things are bad there too somehow. As for the world itself, since I already mentioned this, I do think there's gonna be war brewing. Maybe not get to the point where it happens, but people will be scrambling around to prevent it and there'll probably be lots of angry people causing havoc in Minash Turgal cause these are the sorts of things where people need someone to blame. I think Lirre will probably be fine because I don't want to think about bad things happening to Lirre O_O Finally, regarding Kitov and Taneli changing. I think they're both gonna gain some smarts from this. I feel like Kitov could learn some more street smarts and learn that not every nice seeming person is a good person and that it's okay to distrust people you just met. Meanwhile, I think Taneli is just gonna learn the struggles normal people go through outside of the sheltered life she's lived, and that she'll be much wiser when it comes to politics. However, I think they'll both remain lovely people who are sweet and have that twinkle in their eye.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I feel like the murder of King Rishor was foreshadowed on this page: https://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/comic/twelve-4/ With the whole "obviously the people like me, because if they didn't, they'd vote to replace me" bit. Like, sure, that's true on a country-wide scale... but votes are majority rule, not unanimous. And sometimes... the smaller group of people who disagree with you can be very vocal.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Taneli's my favorite too. She's very sheltered, but her heart's in the right place and she's adjusting as fast as she can, and she's active and enthusiastic which is great for plot motion. Plus, she gets the best clothes. I like the worldbuilding of "actually, our country has all kinds of mold-breaking things like non-hereditary elected rulers and public transportation." Here's hoping it catches on more widely. Leo's plotting is...complicated. Escorting the Princess gave him a great opportunity to get close for the assassination, and since he had the stuff in the luggage, it seems like he was plotting it the whole time. But the fact that Taneli was a Princess at all was supposed to be a secret from everyone except Kitov, right? The others were all surprised when it came out. Was it a plan that only came together when he arrived, and the poison was just planted to frame the others? Or was the poison in the luggage all along, and the secrecy of the whole mission was compromised from the beginning? Unrelated, I thought the sexual-orientation references were well-done. It's not like the whole cast sat in a circle and announced a list of identities each -- it came up naturally in one conversation with a few people, and they mentioned the parts of their experience that were relevant. Also really liked "masculinization potion." Some of the trans-related vocabulary stuck out from the rest of the dialogue, but this feels natural -- like, of course, those are the words a Medieval D&D Fantasy Person would use for it.

RebelVampire

What I'm most looking forward to seeing in the comic is probably just more of the plot revealed as to why assassinate the king and finding the whole motivation behind everything. Just because I'm hoping it opens up more questions to explore and also helps build the world. My final words are simply that this is a lovely comic with likeable characters and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes in terms of plot since the plot has definitely caught my interest.

Kytri

Hi, uh this is my first post here. I'm the writer/artist of Crypts and Cantrips. The week is over in about half an hour in my time zone, and I just wanted to stop in and say thanks for including my comic and for everyone's kind words.

My comics tend not to spark much discussion or feedback so it was a really nice change of pace.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Crypts and Cantrips this week! Please also give a special thank you to Kieran Thompson for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Crypts and Cantrips, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://cryptsandcantrips.Kytri.net/

Kieran’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Kytri

Kieran’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/itsKytri

Kieran’s itch.io Store: https://Kytri.itch.io/

Kieran’s Teepublic page: https://www.teepublic.com/user/Kytri

Kieran’s TWITTER: https://twitter.com/Kytri

[dynowrites]

500 follower special

Big thank you to @giraffe-puppy for editing this for me. ❤️

Word count: 1,794

Amelia: 7 1/2

Dante: 3 3 /4

Lorenzo: 1

Sophia groaned as she looked at the time on the clock. She rarely ever woke up before her alarm, but today was different. She felt sort of sick, like she was coming down with something. She’s been like this the last few days but thought nothing of it until now. Thankfully she had the entire day off and could spend it at home taking care of herself.

Sophia finally got up to the subtle cries of Lorenzo from his room. She sighed as she crawled out of bed, out of Sonny’s grip and into the nursery. Ren was standing on his bed and reached his arms up to his mother once he saw her. Sophia smiled and carefully picked him up and gave him kisses all over his face.

“Doll?” Sonny called or tiredly. He was rubbing his eyes as he made his way into the bedroom.

“Sorry, Sonny. Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to.” Sophia frowned at her husband but he just placed a kiss on her temple.

“I heard Renny crying and came to check on him.” Sonny said. Lorenzo whined before reaching for Sonny.

“Dada! Dada!” Ren said as Sonny quickly scooped him into his arms.

“You should go put some clothes on, Sonny. Remember the last time Mia caught you in your boxers.” Sophia laughed some. Sonny rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Dante used to run naked around the house but if daddy is seen in his boxers, it’s ‘so gross.’” Sonny quoted their almost 8 year old daughter. Sophia rolled her eyes as she pointed towards the door.

“I’m going to get breakfast started. You wanna wake the kids?” Sophia asked. Sonny nodded as he looked at Ren.

“Let’s go get some pants and a shirt for daddy before we wake your brother and sister, Renny!” Sonny said as he carried the boy to his and Sophia’s room to put on some pajamas before waking his two other kids.

Sophia quickly got to work on making breakfast for the family, waffles, eggs, bacon and even some sausage. Once Sophia began to cook the bacon, she began to feel nauseous. The last few days she’s been like this but never threw up which was probably just a sign she was hungry. But she knew she wasn’t going to be able to eat something before she had to run to the bathroom. The moment Sonny walked into her kitchen, she handed him the spatula for the food before rushing to the bathroom.

Once she finished up, she quickly flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth. Sophia didn’t like that she was dealing with a stomach bug, especially with three kids in the house. She quickly brushed her teeth before heading back to the kitchen where Sonny already had the kids eating breakfast.

“You alright, Soph?” Sonny asked. He was always worrying about his wife when she was was sick. She nodded her head with a smile.

“I promise I’m fine.” Sophia said as she sat down at the table. Sonny smiled as he placed a plate of food in front of her. Sophia thanked him quietly before she began to eat.

Amelia was talking all about school at the table while Dante was talking about playing some soccer at preschool. Ren was sitting in his high chair just eating his tiny pieces of waffle and fruit Sonny had given him. Sophia was only half paying attention to the conversations as she was thinking. She knows that she had just turned forty in February and that her body was changing, but there was still a chance she could get-

“Mommy? Did you hear me?” Amelia’s voice called out. Sophia turned to looked at Amelia with a raised brow.

“Sorry, sweetie. Mommy zoned out. What were you saying?” Sophia asked. Amelia smiled as she watched her mother.

“We has a spelling test last week and I got a hundred on it!” Amelia said excitedly. Sophia smiled at her daughter.

“Mia, I’m so proud of you! You’re such a smart girl!” Sophia said as she tried to eat more of her breakfast. She began to feel nauseous again and tried to ignore it but she couldn’t. She set her fork down and tried to concentrate. When she realize that she wasn’t going to be able to keep her breakfast down, she rushed to the bathroom once again.

“Daddy, is mommy okay?” Amelia asked. Sonny frowned as he looked at his daughter.

“I don’t know. Let me go check on her.” Sonny said as he stood up from the kitchen table to head to the bathroom. When he heard his wife inside, he gently knocked on the door.

“I’ll be out in a second.” Sophia’s voice called as the sound of the toilet followed. Sonny frowned and leaned against the door.

“You alright, Soph? I know you haven’t been feeling good the last few days. Do you need me to go to the store?” Sonny called through the door. Sophia stared at herself in the mirror and sighed.

“I’ll go. Find some medicine and stuff. Maybe bring home some candy for the kids.” Sophia said as she quickly washed her hands and brushed her teeth once more. As she opened the door, Sonny frowned down at her.

“Call me if you need me to come get you, Soph. Alright?” Sonny said, and kissed her forehead. She nodded as she went to the bedroom, quickly changed before sliding her shoes on and leaving the house.

Sophia kept thinking of the possibilities of why she was sick. One thought kept running through her mind and she couldn’t shake it, there was no way. It just had to be some kind of bug. Once she parked at the store, Sophia grabbed a basket and began to grab a few things. She grabbed some ginger ale, crackers, some candy for the kids and Sonny before making her way through the store for a few other things.

Once at the checkout, Sophia put all the stuff she bought on the belt. She waited her turn in line and the cashier began to ring Sophia up, but stopped for a moment before looking at a few items, to Sophia and back to the items a few times. Sophia didn’t know if she wanted to cry, tell the cashier to mind her own business or what, but she just wanted to get home. She paid for everything before heading to her car and going home.

The moment Sophia walked into the door, she noticed Sonny and the kids all on the couch just watching TV. Amelia was cuddled up to Sonny’s right side, Dante to his left while Lorenzo was sitting in his lap, sucking on his thumb. Sophia smiled before throwing the bag of candy in their direction. Amelia instantly pulled her bag of gummy bears out of the bag as Sonny grabbed the other bag for Dante and Lorenzo to share. Sophia placed the ginger ale in the fridge before placing the crackers on the counter. The rest of the stuff in the bag, she had taken to the bathroom.

Sophia sat there and pulled a box out for the bag and looked it over. She remember her doctor told her that any pregnancies after Lorenzo could be hard on her, especially with her job. Sophia slowly opened the box and let out a sigh. She’s taken pregnancy tests several times before and this time wasn’t going to be any different. She was just overreacting. Her body was changing and she probably just had a stomach bug. She wanted to just make sure.

Sonny had checked the time on his watch and he noticed Sophia had been gone for quite a bit. As he stood up to check on his wife, all the kids whined as he sat Lorenzo on the couch. “I'll be right back, I'm gonna check on Mama.”

As soon as he walked to the bathroom, he could hear his wife sniffling and crying some. “Sophia? Are you okay?” Sonny asked. She quickly dried her tears.

“Y-yeah! I’ll be out in a second!” She called as she hurried and cleaned everything up. Sonny frowned as he knocked on the door.

“Let me in, Soph. I want to make sure you’re alright.” He heard a click before the door opened up. “Baby, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.” Sonny said as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She slowly lifted her arm and pointed towards the sink.

“Go look for yourself…” She whispered. Sonny raised a brow as he pulled away from his wife and walked over to the sink counter. There sat two positive pregnancy tests.

“We’re… having another baby?” Sonny asked quietly. He turned to look at his wife and smiled widely. “Soph, we’re having another baby! That’s great!” Sonny said as he went over to kiss his wife. Instead of kissing back, Sophia burst into tears.

“Sonny, my doctor told me if we had any kids over forty, there are health risks. And I-I don’t know if I can’t deal with that! W-what if… you know what happens again. Like what happened before Dante.” Sophia never brings it up, but after that happened, she was afraid to have anymore children after Amelia.

“We can wait to tell everyone, baby. Just like the boys if you want. I just… don’t understand how this happened. When?” Sonny asked his wife as he held her close. Sophia stood there and thought about it before looking up at him.

“When we went to Boston for the Fourth of July. He took the kids to get ice cream with Helena.” Sophia explained. Sonny thought about that and then started laughing.

“You never told your brother that we fucked on the couch, did you?” Sonny laughed. Sophia pulled away and slapped his chest.

“I don’t plan on it. If Enzo knew, he’d kill you.” Sophia said. Sonny chuckled and kissed her softly.

“After three beers, you were so hot. I couldn’t keep my hands off you baby.” Sonny said as he looked at he wife. She smiled some as he dried her tears.

“I’m gonna try to schedule an appointment for Monday, alright? You think you can you can talk to Olivia and see if she can give you a half day?” Sophia said as she turned to clean up the mess. Sonny nodded as he helped.

“I’ll call her right now. I can’t wait, Sophia. Another little one running around. I'm so excited..” Sonny placed a kiss to her temple before walking to join the kids back on the living room. Sophia smiled some at the thought of another little Carisi in their family...

Tagged: @giraffe-puppy @obfuscateyummy

[darkwinterchild]

Re:Malcolm & Moira’s affair

@maxpowersimpsonskywalkerspock

Okay so I just wanted to clarify a few points about what I think happened there, because idk that other post felt kinda messy. Ignore this if you want.

I think their affair truly was a one-time deal at first, but not because of Moira, because of Malcolm:

“I think we both needed someone that night. I felt so bad about betraying Rebecca’s memory that I left Starling. Left Tommy behind.”

It makes no sense for him to lie to Moira about their own affair, so I gather what happened was: Malcolm was feeling awful because of Rebecca dying, Moira was feeling awful because of Robert cheating, and they sorta fell into each other’s arms looking for consolation. Then Malcolm freaked out and ran away, leaving Moira behind, pregnant with his child.

Thea was born January 21 1995 (according to props) or early February (according to season 1′s timeline and my calculations?). Which means they had their affair circa end of April 1994. Malcolm left right after for one-two years. So what’s interesting about this is that Moira really didn’t have much of a choice w/ passing Thea off as Robert’s daughter. Malcolm basically bailed on her: he wasn’t around when she found out she was with child, he wasn’t around during her pregnancy, and he wasn’t there for the birth of their daughter. Robert was. Moira probably didn’t even know whether Malcolm would ever come back to the son he left behind, let alone the daughter he didn’t know he had. By the time he did come back, Robert had already fallen in love with the baby. Thea was his in all the ways that mattered and there was no way Moira would have done anything that would have broken their family. She had every incentive to lie to them both.

(Not that she wouldn’t have lied to him had he been there. Maybe she still would have. But it would certainly have been harder, and telling the truth would at least have been an option, yk?)

Fast-forward a dozen years. They’re still friends. She’s still married to his best friend whom they both know is still cheating on her. They’re still attracted to one another and still flirt easily (point of my original post). So did they ever screw around?

IIRC, the actors have said in season 1 interviews that they played them with the idea that something definitely happened between them. Whether that one-time affair covers it or not is up to interpretation, I guess, but fwiw I’m not the only one who noticed the weird “romantic” tension between them. In-story, 12 years old little Thea did too, and (how ironic is this?) resented them both for it:

Thea: A couple of months before you and dad went on the Gambit, Mom and Dad were arguing a lot. Oliver: About what? Thea: I don’t know. But she was having a lot of these lunch meetings with Mr. Merlyn. And now Walter’s gone too and Mom and Mr. Merlyn are back at it. It’s gross.

You don’t just go on lunch dates with your ex-lover to talk about your failing marriage with his best friend unless you’re hoping for (or hiding that there is) something more between the two of you, right? I mean, it’s not like he was Moira’s only friend. Was he really the only one she could talk to? That would make what happened to them and their friendship (what he did to her) really sad and awful. Well, I guess it’s sad and awful whichever way you wanna see it - whether they were screwing or almost screwing or just really good friends.

Like, I think they probably had a few “lapses” after Malcolm’s return from the league, based on their behavior and the way the affair was treated during Moira’s trial in season 2 (like we already discussed). But I’m willing to accept other interpretations. And also, whatever was going on, I think it’s important to keep in mind that she was raising their daughter right under his nose and never told him the truth. She watched his son grow up and interact with Thea and hid the fact they were siblings. So, I feel like at best he was sort of her plan B, but Robert was still very much her first choice. Every time Moira talked about Robert, you could see how much she loved him for being a good father to her children:

“Robert was always so good at getting through to you. I was always so jealous of that.”

“That poor boy you went with. Oh, Robert scared him to death!”

“I know you thought he walked on water, but you see that's how I wanted you to remember him. As a good man who loved you. That's how I want Thea to remember him.”

“It wasn't about your age. It was about preserving your memory of your father. He loved you. No matter his faults, he loved you.”

“Thea is innocent. She loved Robert. Please don’t take that away from her, I’m begging you.”

Her children were always her priority, so for that reason I think that no matter how much of a shitty husband he was, Moira never would have divorced him willingly (at least not until Thea and Oliver were much older and no longer living with them).

[justagoddamnbranch]

Halloween Part 6 - Final

(Part 5)

Sal giggled, putting a hand down to reach for leo before oscar pushed them to sit on the bed “your drunk ass is gonna fall, stay put.” he walked to the door, pausing, he felt bad for leaving petey out, but he figured petey didnt really like him, and he’d prefer not getting hit again for pushing unwanted affection on him, so he walked out with a “see ya.” he probably would flirt with any frat boys that looked at him on the way out, he got a kick out of it and liked the attention.

sal stuck their tongue out as oscar left, but decided to listen and not lean over the side, bouncing slightly on the bed “goodnight leo! trick or treat!”

“Goodnight, dad.” Petey tensed up a bit, hoping Oscar didn’t hear that last bit. Or at the very least, that he was joking.

“Have some nice dreams, Sal. Happy Halloween.” Leo mumbled, curling up in his blankets.

Petey real quick grabbed up his toothbrush and stuff and went off to the bathroom. When he came back, Leo was already dead asleep. He flicked off the light and climbed up onto his bunk, trying not to rouse Sal too much. “Goodnight you damn fools.”

Oscar didnt think much of peteys choice of name, thought he was surprised he’d call him that. it was his title most of the time though.

———-

sal probably snuggled up to petey at some point in the night. they woke early the next morning, not sleeping very well on the alcohol, sitting up and rubbing their face, they didnt feel very good. they crawled to the edge of the bed, forgetting it was a bunk bed, and promptly fell over the side, hitting the ground with a thud and then letting out a loud sobbing wail into the floor, not moving to get up “mom was right!”

Leo and Petey both woke with a start, Petey looking over the side and Leo flipping over. Leo winced from the movement due to a massive headache, but he leaned towards them, “you ok?“.

Petey climbed down, he was hoping they didn’t hit their head on anything. He didn’t check on them though, he went immediately over to his desk since there were band aids in there. Just in case. He could get ice from the nurse’s office if they needed it.

Sal had mostly fallen on their hands and knees, though they’d hit their chin on the floor, their dark tone wouldn’t make a bruise there very obvious. Sal didn’t get up or answer Leo, face to the floor and weeping. Due to a ‘condition’ they had, their body was having a hard time dealing with the large amount of alcohol they’d consumed, along with no food to help, not yet in hangover mode, they were still on the drunk side. And being a very sad drunk at that.

"Awright come on.” Leo pulled them up onto his bed. He laid down and curled up next to them, his tail making him into a semicircle. He couldn’t quite have them lay in his stomach, he figured the angle would make them sick, so he hoped just putting his arm over them in a half hug would suffice. He pat their back as they cried, unsure if he should ask what was wrong. Well, other than falling about 5 ft.

“Ya need some ice?” Petey asked, already pulling his pants on. He was gonna get ice regardless

Sal shook their head no, still crying, but snuggling close to Leo. It’d take several minutes for them to calm down, at which point they’d sit up sniffling and holding their stomach “w-where’s the bathroom…?”

“It’s down the hall,” Leo stared at them before realizing what was gonna happen, “I’ll show ya.”. He didn’t want them getting lost and making another mess.

Upon reaching the bathroom, they didn’t hesitate to lift the toilet seat and immediately barf. They somewhat started half crying again, mumbling more about something along the lines of “mom was right.” only because she’d said no to Sal having a bunk bed as a kid because they would fall off. they’d stay seated next to the toilet for the next hour, heaving several more times and sobering up some. Well, they wouldn’t be drinking like this again, that’d for sure.

Leo stood outside the stall, just in case Sal needed him. He’d texted Petey to tell him to not worry about the ice just yet. As much as he didn’t want to, he sat on the ground. He leaned his tail against their leg, trying to be supportive, and propped his head against the stall door. A dude got out of a stall a few down, and looked over at Leo.

“Izzat your girlfriend?” The guy knew of Leo a bit, since he was the only straight guy on this floor of the dorms.

Leo nodded, “yeah, rough night.”

“Sounds like morning sickness to me.” The other guy joked before going on to wash his hands and leave.

Leo didn’t take it as a joke though. It was morning, after all. And he couldn’t remember what happened last night. And Sorcha didn’t like him, so maybe their mom told them not to get a boyfriend because they’d just end up pregnant. Is this why they were saying their mom was right? Did he get them pregnant? How did they know?! He swallowed hard. Once they were done he finally spoke, “you uh, you ok in there?”

Sal wasn’t exactly listening to anything going on around them as they heaved. When they’d felt like they weren’t going to barf anymore, they responded to Leo “y-yeah. I’m ok.. God i need a shower…I need to go home..” they wiped the tears from their face and walked out, feeling embarrassed and filthy, recalling the previous night along with starting the morning like this. They shifted on their feet in front of Leo “erm…I-I’m sorry, for all this…I don’ think i shoulda drank that much..” they started making lists in their head, they had a ton to do “I need to clean up and change and get all these…and your clothes, washed…” listing mentally they also needed to take their meds.

“You don’t have to worry bout my clothes, it’s alright.” He put his hand on their hips as he walked, “just pick up your things and I’ll drive you home.”. He opened the door to the bedroom for them, and found that Petey had wrapped up the piss soaked bag up a plastic garbage bag. Petey wasn’t there though, from the clock it looked like he was in class.

Sal sighed, leaning on Leo when they were in the room, they’d recalled a lot in the last hour of barfing, and they still couldn’t believe they’d pissed themself, and on Leo for that matter. Along with saying they loved him. In a filthy abandoned building. after pissing on him. God, that was such an awkward memory for the first time, they wondered if Leo remembered. They held his hands, playing with his fingers. Maybe he didn’t. Though would now really be a better memory for it? They decided to stay cautious, “um, other than the…messes…was…was the night ok? I’m sorry if I was obnoxious or anything, I oh jeez, I wasn’t really thinking…and I’m sorry if I said anything, um…stupid…”

Leo tried his best to remember what had happened last night, a few vague pieces coming to mind. Mostly being afraid of a ghost coming to get them and them having 'fun’. And them…saying they loved him. Oh god, oh no. He hoped that didn’t mean they bonded souls or something. He looked down at them, trying not to show how goddamn nervous he was. “It’s ok,” he kissed the top of their head, “we’ll deal with it. No matter what though, I still love you.”

oh jee, Leo did remember. They covered their face at first, embarrassed and flustered before putting their arms around Leo’s neck and hugging him. Obviously a kiss was out of the question, they needed to brush their teeth, especially after barfing. And so did Leo, probably, even if they hadn’t barfed, being clean was important. “I love you too, Leo!” they of course had no idea what Leo was thinking about pregnancy, they were just excited their feelings were returned and not a drunken slip of the tongue. They pulled away, holding his hands again and smiling at him apologetically “please take me home now though, I really really need to get clean..”

“Absolutely, here.” Leo grabbed up their stuff, “you wanna borrow a pair of my shorts or are you ok without bottoms?”. He was fine going without a shirt, but he figured they would want something more than just boxers.

“Ah, yes please, I’m not sure the other people in my building would appreciate me walking in underwear.” they’d take whatever was offered to them, sure they probably wouldn’t fit well, but they’d work for the trip home.

Leo looked Sal over, checking their size, and made a tough decision. He knew Petey was gonna kill him later, but he grabbed one of Petey’s pants out of his laundry. He looked Sal in the eye, “please don’t tell him.” and handed them to Sal.

Sal smiled, laughing a little at how serious Leo was about it, maybe Petey didn’t like sharing clothes. “Oh gosh, ok. I promise I’ll return them clean and unharmed.” they held onto the table, feeling a little unstable still, as they pulled the pants on, ready to go home and wash themself for probably 2 hours.

Once they were ready Leo led them out to his piece of shit car and drove them the few blocks home. He couldn’t help but look down over at their stomach when he helped them out of the car. “You, uh, need help to make sure you get to bed ok?”.

Sal tilted their head, thinking Leo was sweet for being worried about them, though not understanding the look over. “don’t worry, I’m ok Leo. and it’s much too early for bed, i have things and work to do after I get cleaned up.” hangover was kicking in, but they weren’t willing to sleep it off, that’d be a waste of their day. They gave him a kiss on the cheek, “would you like to come over tomorrow and watch a movie?”

“Y-yeah I can do that.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. He suddenly felt stupid for offering. It wasn’t his place. He said goodbye to them and went to his car, but didn’t quite start it yet. He just sat in the front seat a second, thinking. He pulled up his soul, no new marks. No new marks. He put it back in its place before propping his arms on the steering wheel and resting his forehead against it. It wasn’t his place.

[lollytea]

How would Guy Diamond and Sating react to an unplanned (but not necessarily unwanted) pregnancy? I need more of this couple sorry.

(Hey kiddos. Who wants to see our favourite sparkly idiots dealing with adult situations? Nobody? Okay, I wrote it anyway. This is completely hypothetical btw.)

Vivid, painted lips curled and puckered. “Oops.” Satin uttered, tightening the fold of her arms, a white stick dangling over her elbow. “Oops? That’s all you’re going to say, is it?”

He was sat on her bed, his entire frame stiff. Guy Diamond slowly shook his head, eyes glassed over, his bottom lip hung loose and quivering gormlessly to find the right words. “I…uh, I-I don’t know what else to say.”

Satin sighed, his lost expression adding pity to the unconventional mix of uncertainty, frustration and panic that was swirling around in her stomach. She couldn’t say she was mad at Guy. They were both equally responsible for the mistake after all. Nervousness may be overtaking her patience here.

“How about ‘Sorry for getting you pregnant, Satin.’” She attempted to exaggerate an imitation of his voice to hopefully lighten the mood.

“Sorry for getting you pregnant, Satin.” He parroted, his pretty features still contorted in shock. After a pause, Guy blinked repeatedly, his brow twitching with a twinge of irritation. “No, no. Let me do that again. That didn’t sound sorry, did it? C’mere,”

Satin gravitated towards his outstretched hand, like a magpie attracted to his glittering rings. She lowered down upon silken sheets, with a slight squeak of the bed as both sets of fingers intertwined.

He faced her. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly, with the upmost sincerity in his steady gaze. “This-this was not something that was supposed to happen and-and I really don’t know what else I can say to you about it. This was my fault and-and I-”

“Do you want to keep it?” Satin cut him off, even her gentlest tone capable of bringing Guy Diamond’s usual prattle to a staggering halt.

“Do I-? Satin…” Guy began, rolling his tongue around the inside of his cheek as he internally pieced his words together. “This… this is something you should get to decide. Like you’re the one who’s gotta…” He gestured vaguely to her stomach. “Y’know, do all the hard stuff. I’m just the dumb boy toy here. I don’t wanna make this decision for you.”

“Firstly, stop calling yourself a boy toy.” She ordered, lightly poking his chest with a sharpened nail. “Secondly, I’m asking you because I have no idea. Guy, I’m not Poppy. Like, she knew she wanted to be a Mom for years and when it finally happened, she-she was totally ready. But I’m just….” Satin threw her hand up hopelessly before it fell to her knee with a jangle of shimmering bracelets. “This wasn’t part of the plan. I was thinking that maybe someday when I’m older but… right now? I’m a designer, I’m an entrepreneur, these are things that I’m certain that I am… but a Mom? Am I a Mom?!”

“Do you, uh, do you want the honest answer here?” He questioned cautiously.

“Please.”

“Now, I dunno if you want to be a Mom but…” Guy met her eyes, almost hesitantly. “I think you’d make a pretty good one. I’ve thought that a couple of times, really…”

A long stretch of silence followed, and it became clearer just how synchronized their breathing had become.

Satin hummed. “Do you know what the weirdest part of this is?” She asked, her fingers having explored upwards to run thoughtfully through his snowy puff of hair.

“What?” He mouthed, squeezing her hand tighter.

“I don’t…. not want it. The baby. I don’t not want the baby.”

For the first time since she told him the news, Guy Diamond chuckled. A warm and welcome sound. “Let me help you out with your phrasing, here. I think what you’re trying to say is ‘I do want the baby.’” It took him a lasting four seconds to process the sentence before his jaw dropped. “W-wait, you do want the baby?! Like-like keeping it?! You wanna keep the baby and be the mom?!”

“Yeah.” Satin said, surprising not only Guy, but herself. “I think I want the baby.” She felt a tinkling laugh escape her throat at his humorously stricken expression. “Is there a problem with that, Sparkles?”

Guy Diamond immediately shook his head as he bent over the end of the bed. “No, no just…. it just hit me. You’re-you’re gonna have a baby.” He wheezed.

“Just me?” Satin raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow, scooching just a little closer to him. She placed a hand on the line of his jaw. His face, instinctively eager for the soft of her touch, was led easily towards her as she met his gaze. “Not us?”

“Us?” It took him a moment to understand before he nodded hastily. “I- of course, yeah. I’ll help you with the baby. I’ll do anything you need me to do, I-”

“Guy. I’m not asking if you’re going to be a babysitter. I’m asking if you’re going to be a Dad.”

“A… Dad?” Guy whispered, his pupils dilating at a rapid rate.

Satin nodded patiently.

“A Dad.” He repeated, as if testing the taste of the word on his tongue.

“Are you okay?” She asked, choking back a snigger at the look on his face.

“A DAD!” He yelled, his entire body bucking backwards. “Holy fuck, Satin! If you have a baby, I’ll be a Dad!”

“I’m glad you figured that part out.”

“I’m like thirteen years old!”

“You’re twenty-four, you ditz.”

“Even worse!” Guy cried, wringing his glittering hands. “How the Hell am I gonna be a Dad?”

“Well, getting me pregnant was the first step-”

“This-this is like grown-up step number five. I haven’t even gotten to step two yet!”

“What’s step two?” Satin cocked her head in confusion.

“Well, I’ve been trying for months to save up for that ring but I’m still not getting any closer because-” Guy stopped, seeming to realize just how loose his lips had become in the heat of pregnancy-induced panic.

“There’s… there’s a ring?” She asked softly.

Guy Diamond shrugged, eyes rooted to the carpet. “I mean, I guess that’s up to you. It was meant to be a surprise but I’m an idiot so…” He peaked up. “There doesn’t have to be a ring if you don’t want one.”

“Of course I want the ring, you beautiful dumbass.” She teased, slapping a hand down on his knee. “But… we can put the ring on hold for a while. We…” They both took this moment to glance at her abdomen. “We have some other stuff on our plate right now.”

Guy nodded, his face ashen. “I guess I’m investing in some childcare books.” He managed a strained smile.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Satin murmured.

All it took was a soft question for him to crack. “Am I too immature to be a Dad? I mean, I’m still trying to figure out how this whole adult thing works. But now, a kid? I don’t-”

“Do you want the baby, Guy?” She asked.

He opened his mouth to vomit out another ramble before Satin continued.

“Just think about the baby for a minute.” She pointed to its current location. “The one in my belly right now. The one that we made. Our baby’s in there. Do you love our baby?”

Guy was staring transfixed at her stomach before taking a deep breath and nodding. “I do.” He said with finality. “At least I think I do. I just… I’m just afraid I won’t be able to-”

“Jokes.” Satin said bluntly, laying back against the bed and propping a hand under her chin.

“What?”

“Bad jokes. You’re constantly making them. I might even call them Dad jokes.”

Guy Diamond furrowed his brow in mild annoyance. “Satin, just because I-”

“Although,” She carried on, as if she didn’t hear him. “You’re not all bad jokes, are you? Under that bleached as Hell mop of yours, there’s a brain, isn’t there? What is it Poppy calls you again? Sparkly wise man friend? Well, isn’t a good Dad is a wise Dad?”

He rolled his eyes. “Satin, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I-woah!”

In one swift motion, she had yanked him by the jacket and pulled him into a lying position next to her. The bed groaned in protest.

“And let’s not forget the most important thing.” She said playfully, pecking his forehead as her hands wound around his neck. “You love and you love and you love. Babies need a lot of love, y’know?”

Guy gazed at her, as if trying to hold on to his worry but he was very unused to seeing her smile without smiling himself. He cracked a grin. “Okay, I might have some of the Dad stuff down. But not everything just yet..”

Satin nodded, beaming as pulled him in closer. “And, hey. We still have nine months, don’t we? Whatever we’re not sure of, we’ll figure it out.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Guy repeated softly, their lips bumping together.

After a moment of settling acceptance coupled with budding anticipation, he pulled apart from their kiss. “I just realized something.” His fingertip ran along her cheekbone. “So, this is one of the most beautiful faces on this planet, yeah?”

“Obviously.” Satin scoffed.

He gently took one of her hands and guided it across his own face. “And so is this?”

“Of course.”

“Satin…”

“What?”

“You’re going to give birth to a fucking deity!”

“Holy shit, you’re right….”