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#it's probably not realistic but it's funny and i enjoyed writing it
kanerallels · 7 months
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Kanera, retirement home or seniors community
This is almost certainly not what you were intending when you sent in this request, but my sister gave me the idea and it was too amusing to resist
Working at a senior’s community was a fairly unpredictable job. But Hera was pretty sure that finding a guy around her age climbing out through the window was a first.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, staring at him.
The man paused, one leg already out the window as he stared at her. “I… live here?” he offered tentatively.
Hera stopped at him for a long moment, until his shoulders dropped in a sigh. “Yeah, that was pretty bad.”
“It was,” Hera agreed. “And you have about two minutes to give me a better answer before I call the cops.”
Wincing, the man said, “Yeah, please don’t do that. Okay, so I’m here to see my great-grandfather, Stellan— you know him?”
“I do,” Hera said, frowning. “He’s talked about you— you’re Caleb?”
“Right, but he’s one of like two people who call me that,” he said. “You can call me Kanan.”
“Well, Kanan,” Hera said, “you haven’t exactly explained why you’re climbing out the window.”
“Um. I’m technically not allowed in here because I kind of accidentally kidnapped Stellan and his two best friends out for lunch once.”
Hera rolled her eyes. “Somehow, I’m already unsurprised by that.”
Grinning, Kanan said, “Yeah, not my best move. But I can’t miss our weekly poker games, Elzar would never forgive me. So… any chance you can let me go this time?”
Hera considered for a minute. He did look familiar, like she’d seen him in some of the family photos in Stellan’s room. And her gut was telling her that he was probably telling the truth. “Fine,” she said. “But next time I expect to see you coming in through the front door. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Kanan said, shooting her a grin before hopping out the window and out of sight.
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drifloonz · 2 months
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your steven interpretation is boring and fits into the fanon characterization of steven, i wish you would be a little more unique with how you write him :(((((((
i do Not feel like this is true bc fanon steven is like nothingburger sexy guy or yandere... esque?? or things like that that make him very shallow and one note . And not super depressed and mentally ill as he would be. literally like Fanon Steven is Not my steven and my steven is also very near and dear to my heart bc hes a comfort character who i had when i was going through a lot of shit! Like Actually! I think about him a lot! And a lot of the things i do w him are lifted from canon and the ways i interpret and analyze the og story. not a lot of the fanon or fandom stuff ... Does that. a lot of it is very divorced from stevens struggles and story and the fact its a tragedy in favor of shipping or whatever else. they do not give steven realistic struggles.
also bc i havent properly written steven in ages. idk if you read my headcanons or analysis'. Read Those if so. I dont actually write shit almost ever especially now i do not write him as a character bc i like to think about him and how hed do things, i dont like to Write him.
my keyboard is broken i am tired and depressed and dont really have many ideas for things to write with him bc i exhausted a lot of them. i still think about steven daily though, im mostly focused on my self indulgent shit i write because thats all all of this was. sharing my self indulgent shit with people who are fighting for Crumbs of steven.
i think ab him more than almost anybody else seems to in this fandom other than a few people i personally know ( shout out to like 3-4ish people ) and a few others i dont personally know. There are not many people i know who have the same headcanons and a lot that did i think took it from me? which is kinda funny. i dont own steven having bpd but i think its a thing i popularized more for example afaik. i see little bits of my headcanons rippling into other peoples and its fun
Also what the fuck do you mean 'boring' what do you want the depressed adult ass man to do when hes isolated. Sorry that he is not dancing for ur entertainment? Sorry that hes not a crazed serial murderer!!! when... he.. Wouldnt be he only really killed mike and nobody takes doors open as canon ever bc its stupid. I have no idea what you mean by boring. the fuck would an 'interesting' interpretation be. i am not interested in entirely redoing his concept as a character or his story nor am i fucking rewriting strangled red or am ever interested in it bc i think its fine on its own and whenever anyone tries its usually... Not good. Even ( and especially ) when smr did it LOL ( thankfully he never got to strangled red proper ).
i dont like a lot of people that do that unless it has a reason because i think the og story is perfectly fine untouched even if some parts could be elaborated on or explained better, but i dont think you have to shove super big changes to things like 'missingno is actually a conscious entity that talks to him!!! mike DID kill her' Like this detracts from a lot of the story and things that do that at least in my opinion make it.. more boring. its fine if people like that but its not for me. you dont need to make strangled red more dramatic and explain away everything. some of the vagueness is the fun of it.
i just wanted to share headcanons and my own projections that i think would fit him to the world bc nobody really thought about steven in the way i did.
i know a lot of people really love my steven interp and think hes unique so i think you just dislike it. Which can be a thing you can do i dont give a shit. I would also probably dislike whatever yours is! Im very picky with steven interpretations! ok not really people just dont genuinely write him as a full-fledged character very often. i am not making 'content' for people. im just sharing what i want to. if that doesnt appeal to you make your own shit! You probably wont find a lot of people writing whatever you want steven to be so you should do it for yourself bc thats how i got here.
if im taking this very personally or sound like it im mostly jsut really confused. and also bc i half-am but i dont care that much. Bc like. What do you want me to do...? Im not going to suddenly rewrite the entirety of my own personal interpretation of a character ive loved for almost 2 years straight now for someone else. i barely use this blog anymore! except when i want to post analysis or headcanons. its self-indulgent! but i still sure do think about steven deeply and intimately even if it for some reason feels like i dont. i think the autistic analyzation of the og writing should paint that im like serious about it.
anyways, there was not much of a reason to send this if youre so upset i dont write steven content the way you want ( and you probably would also have a lot of ideas i wouldnt agree with. ) Then send me 50 dollars NOW! [ if it wasnt obvious this is a joke. ]
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forever-rogue · 2 years
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yayy now that ik you're open to write for joel, i propose smth angsty along the lines of "you came back for me" bc reader and joel got into a really big fight before getting separated. i just want the angstttt pls crush my heart tear it apart then put it back together by ending really fluffy plssss
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AN | The inevitable has arrived - here we are foraying into Joel territory. Enjoy ❤️
Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Language
Word Count | 2.4k
Masterlist | Joel, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“You’re really stupid sometimes,” it was an exasperated huff that had your hands on your hips as you looked at him. You didn’t mean it - not really anyway. Joel was probably one of the smartest and most resourceful people you’d ever met. He hung his head with a heavy sigh before turning back to you. His expression was entirely unamused, “so foolish and - and stubborn!”
This got a laugh out of him, a bark of unamused laughter but nonetheless. He crossed his arms over his chest, “I’m stubborn? Have you met yourself? You don’t get what you want and you act like a petulant child!”
“I am not,” you hissed, trying your best not to stomp your foot; you didn’t need to help prove his point any further. Maybe he was a little right…Joel often was. But you also felt like your point was right too. Even if this was the middle of a weird zombie apocalypse you were now living in, you should be able to take some time out for yourself. Especially now that you had a more stable living situation, “it’s always work this and work that with you. We should-”
“We should do what we need to in order to survive,” he cut you off, refusing to meet your eyes. He knew, begrudgingly, that you also weren’t entirely wrong, “that is the most important thing.”
“What about us-”
“There is no us,” he insisted and damn. Those four little words broke your heart more than anything. All this time spent together, getting to know each other both on a physical and emotional level meant nothing to him. You should have known. It was almost funny in a horrible way. The older man refused to look at you and you couldn’t help but think him a coward. Maybe he was right after all - maybe you were just a child, “get that in your head and let’s get this over with. We’re losing daylight.”
He took a few steps forward, dirt and gravel crunching under his boots. You shook your head, more to yourself than anything but didn’t follow him. When Joel didn’t hear your footsteps behind him, he turned around, “I’m not going with you.”
“C’mon,” he insisted, “don’t be like this. It’s dangerous for you to be out here by yourself.”
“Well, how am I ever going to learn to survive solely on my own if I’ve always got you or someone else leading the way?” He was correct in reasoning though. It wasn’t safe for anyone alone. It was also recommended that people go out in pairs for that reason, “just go on and I’ll find my own way back.”
“Stop acting like this,” but you just shook your head and took a step further back, “can you just listen to me for once?”
“Actually, Joel, for once it would be me not listening to you. So…you do whatever it is you need to do, do it. I’ll go back and patiently wait. Then you can come back and tell me what to do,” you offered him a sticky sweet smile before turning on your heel and heading back in the direction from which you came. You took off before Joel could say anything, biting your lip in order to keep from making any extra sounds or letting your tears fall down your cheeks. 
You heard him call after you, your name falling from his lips in an increasingly exasperated tone. You heard him come after you for a few moments, but eventually he stopped, his signature sigh falling from his lips. But eventually he moved on and you continued back towards Jackson. 
Realistically you’d just proved his point by acting in such a childish manner. But you didn’t care, not right now. He’d hurt you, and you didn’t even know if he’d meant to or knew the effect his words were having on you. 
“Dumb, stupid girl,” you groaned at yourself, “had to go and mess everything up. And now you’re going to get yourself lost.”
Admittedly, your sense of direction wasn’t the greatest. But the path you’d taken to get to this point, the point where you’d picked an argument with Joel, had been a fairly linear path. Surely you couldn’t fuck that up.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
And yet…you managed to fuck that right up. 
It was dark and you weren’t back to Jackson yet and you knew that was wrong. It shouldn't have taken so long to get back. You should have been back already. Somewhere along the line you had either taken a wrong turn or missed a turn but you found yourself wandering aimlessly. It was too quiet out here, not even sounds of nighttime creatures reaching your ears. If there were anything out there with you, they’d probably hear you in a heartbeat. You’d just have to hope that there wouldn’t be any runners or stalkers or worse - clickers. You were glad you’d remembered to stash an extra knife in your boot and still had the shotgun slung across your back. You’d never taken one on your own, but you figured you could manage. You were going to have to. 
But you just hoped that you wouldn’t come across everything. You’d just camp out in one of the abandoned buildings you’d found until daybreak and then make your way back. That seemed like the most logical and smart thing to do. 
You went to check the front door of the building and, naturally, it was locked. Luckily there was an open window nearby that you figured you could use to get in. Hopefully that was a good sign that nothing else was able to get in either. You jumped the little bit of distance that you needed in order to climb up, catching your hands on the window sill and pulling yourself up. You managed to get in, but suffered a less than graceful landing as you plopped on the ground. And…managed to roll your ankle in the process. 
“Fuck,” you cried, clutching at your ankle in pain as you tried to stifle your whimper. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you slowly sat up and tried to massage the pain in your ankle away, “shit, damn it. Fuck!”
As soon as the words left your mouth, you slapped a hand over it to try and keep any further sound at bay. You sat still, and listened for a few moments to make sure you didn’t hear anything. After a few tense, still minutes had passed, you relaxed; it didn’t seem like anything was there with you. 
Crawling towards the corner, you made yourself as small as possible, sitting with your back against the concrete wall, and hugging your knees to your chest. Anything to make yourself as small and unimposing as possible. It was probably a stupid idea to sleep, alone and vulnerable, but it had been a long day and you needed some rest. Your eyes grew heavier and heavier and before you knew it you had succumbed to sleep’s siren call.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
By the time your eyes opened up, heavy and dry, it was the morning. Daylight was streaming inside the room and you let out a relieved, but shaky sigh. You’d made it through the night. That in and of itself was a good sign that you’d make it back. It was safer in the light and you might even meet someone from Jackson on the way back. 
As you tried to stand up, you quickly remembered what had happened. The stabbing pain your ankle causing you to yelp as you leaned against the wall, using it to help support yourself. Okay, okay, okay - this was going to be trickier than you thought but you’d be able to get yourself out of there. Your survival instinct was stronger than that.
But before you could do anything or plan anything else you heard it. It was your name being called out in the distance. Gooseflesh erupted all over your skin as you tried to pick out the voice. It came closer and closer and it didn’t take long to figure out who it was. Joel. It made your heart jump before you remembered what had happened. You could just - fuck it. You needed him to survive and while you were stubborn among a whole lot of other things, you were willing to put aside. 
“Joel!” you held onto the sill so tightly that your knuckles were turning white. You poked your head outside and looked around until you found him a short distance away, “Joel.”
He stopped at the sound of your voice, and you could see the evident relief that washed over his features. He jogged over to you, and you offered him a tentative, nervous little smile. He shook his head when he realized that you were safe, running a hand through his dark hair. Joel exhaled slowly before looking at you, a hard glint to his, “do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” you rolled your eyes lightly.
“This isn’t a game,” his voice sounded between annoyed, worried, and relieved all at once. He reached over and gently touched your face, his hand resting on your cheek, “you thought you could just go off on your own and find your way back? You couldn’t even do that. I got back and you weren’t there. Do you even know what I thought? I-I…”
“I’m okay,” you promised, putting your hand on top of his and giving it what you hoped was a reassuring little squeeze. He wasn’t looking at you, instead looking up at the blue sky. It was almost funny in a way; if you looked up, staring into the bright blue sky, it almost seemed like nothing was wrong and the world was as it had always been, “look at me, please. Joel.”
“I thought something had happened,” he swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes met yours. There was a hard edge to them, but they were still soft, “I thought I’d fucking lost you.”
“You came back,” you took his hand in yours, admiring the feeling of his calloused fingers against your surprisingly soft skin, “you came back for me.”
“Of course I did,” he said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “that was never a question. You should have just come with me and none of this would have happened. You stubborn, foolish girl.”
“You…” it all seemed so trivial and silly now. Now that he was back and had come for you, “I…’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just left. Not with my sense of direction.”
“I’m sorry too,” he admitted and you raised an eyebrow in surprise. That was not what you had been expecting to hear. Joel Miller was a hard man and he didn’t generally didn’t experience situations in which he had to apologize, “I shouldn’t have said the things I did.”
“I shouldn’t have just assumed that you and I were…anything,” your voice dropped as you tried to blink back the tears that threatened to well up, “it was stupid of me and ended up causing both a lot of trouble.”
“You are extremely important to me,” his voice was gentle when it broke the silence that had fallen over the two of you. You couldn’t help the small smile that ticked up the corners of your mouth, “even if I didn’t make it seem like it. We’ll…figure it out, okay? But I want you to know that…I…”
“I know,” you did know. You knew exactly what he was trying to convey, exactly what was going through his mind. It was the same thing you were still scared to say, “me too, Joel.”
He brought your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, “c’mon. Let’s get you back home and we can…go from there.”
“There’s, um…just a small issue with that,” you put on a sheepish smile as Joel looked at you expectantly, “when I found this place last night - the door was locked. I didn’t want to make too much noise so I didn’t try to force it open. Instead, I climbed in through the window.”
“I can get you out of the window-”
“I hurt my ankle.”
“Of course you did.”
“Joel-”
“It’s always something with you,” he tutted at you, but there wasn’t any anger or malice behind the sound, “what am I going to do with you, huh?”
“Keep me around because I keep you on your toes?” you tried and he couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. You looked at him with a gentle smile, “can you help get me out of here?”
“Of course,” he promised, “sprained or broken?”
“I dunno,” you looked at the swollen joint and grimaced, “I think just sprained. But I’m not a doctor so…”
“Kid,” affection laced the nickname that he liked to tease you with. He came closer to the window and held his arms out to you. You quickly wrapped your arms around him, letting him tug you closer to his body before he picked you up and swung you through the window. You thought he would set you down, but he didn’t. Instead he held to you his chest, “you’re okay. I’ve got you.”
“Thank you,” before you could stop yourself you kissed him tenderly on his scruffy cheek, “thank you for coming back for me.”
“I’ll always come back for you,” he promised and you knew he meant it, “always.”
“I know,” you hugged him tightly, “me too. I mean, if the situation were ever reversed. Which I doubt it would be, but you know, the sentiment is there.”
“I know, Kid,” you could feel the laughter vibrating in his chest, “I know."
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maychorian · 6 months
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Found Family Anime Recs
I recently reblogged a list of found family anime recs and was a bit surprised by how many reblogs and likes it got. I had really reblogged it just so I can find it later to watch the shows I hadn't already seen on the list, but apparently I have a lot of followers who are interested in this topic! Well, I've watched a lot of anime, so here are ten found family anime shows that I absolutely love. These are in no particular order.
Buddy Daddies
This show is similar enough to Spy X Family that you might be tempted to call it a rip-off. It's really quite different though. There's a lot less comedy (though there's still SOME comedy) and a lot more healing from past trauma. The animation is gorgeous, and the relationships really tug at my heart. It's more realistic than Spy X Family, in some ways, though it's still pretty ridiculous. The melodrama in the last couple of episodes did annoy me a bit, but it's still a very satisfying show. It's like a fanfiction I would write, which is really the highest recommendation I can give, haha, because that means it's exactly the kind of story I would like. 
2. Samurai Champloo
This show was made by much of the same team that created Cowboy Bebop, but for some reason it never got the same cult status, which is really too bad. I love Cowboy Bebop, but I love Samurai Champloo more. It's about two ronin and a teenage girl traveling through Edo-era Japan to find someone the girl is looking for. Throughout the series, the three form a very strong bond, despite all of their communication difficulties and past traumas. I've rewatched this show probably more than any other anime. It's brutal at times, but so very satisfying.
3. Natsume Yuujin-cho
Natsume lost his parents as a young child and was passed around from relative to relative, most of whom couldn't deal with him because his ability to see yokai (Japanese folk spirits) made him a freak in their eyes. As the series starts, he's finally taken in by an older couple in a rural village who actually want him, and he's finally able to start forming connections with other people and find a support system with his new caretakers, his peers, and the yokai he tries to help. It's a very sweet, sad series, much more sentimental than the first two entries on this list, but a very soothing and lovely watch when you are in need of some relaxation. Warning, though, the flashbacks to Natsume's past families can be truly gutwrenching. He was not treated well for a very long time, and it's hard to stomach.
4. Barakamon
Handa is a calligrapher who gets essentially exiled to a remote island after causing problems on purpose. He has a hard time connecting with people and is struggling with his art. Over the course of the story, he forms relationships with his neighbors, especially an adorable child with possibly the best child voice-acting I've ever heard, and slowly rediscovers his joy in creation again. It's cute and funny and beautiful, and it makes me want to live on a remote Japanese island.
5. My Roommate Is a Cat
Subaru is a young novelist who recently lost his parents, who were pretty much his only connection to humanity. While trying to recover from this massive loss, he adopts a stray cat who quickly becomes the most important creature in his life. Through the cat, he begins to form relationships with other people, as well. The show is unique in that the first half of each episode is from the human's POV and the second half is from the cat's POV. It's a very lovely and soothing show. Pets are family, too!
6. Haikyuu
Haikyuu was the show that opened my eyes to the aspect of found family in sports anime. I know a lot of tumblr enjoys Haikyuu for the shipping, but to me it's more satisfying to view it through the lens of found family. Each team is essentially their own found family, in their own unique way, and the relationships are particularly realistic and well-depicted by this mangaka. I love Tanaka being a big brother to the first years, Kuroo and Kenma's mutual protectiveness and support, all of it. 
7. Kuroko no Basuke
This is the silly basketball show, and in my opinion it's not as good as Haikyuu, but I love the relationships here as well. Especially between Kuroko and Kagami, of course. Their mutual protectiveness is just chef's kiss. But the whole Seirin team is really great. I love them so much. The teamy goodness is what makes the silliness watchable for me.
8. One Piece
What is there to say about One Piece? This is, like, the ultimate found family show. All of the pirate crews with any kind of goodness at their core are found families, but especially the Strawhats. Luffy is just going around looking at people and declaring, "Okay, you're in my family (on my crew) now." If you've never watched One Piece before, I'm going to make an unorthodox recommendation and suggest you watch the live action Netflix adaption first. It does a really good job of capturing the feel and aesthetic and just pure loveliness of this story in a much more compact and approachable way than the anime. However, if you like it, I do recommend that you watch the anime from the beginning, because there is a lot of expansion on the themes there, and the characterization is slightly different. Usopp in particular kinda got shorted in the live action, so you'll understand him a lot more if you watch his introduction arc in the anime. But honestly both versions are great. I'm on my third rewatch of the live action version already, and I will watch and rewatch the anime until I die, probably. One of my favorite stories of all time.
9. The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash
I found this one slightly annoying in how it was obviously carefully designed to tug at my heartstrings, but it's working, so I don't have much right to complain. It's about a little kid driven out of her home who gradually gathers a found family of both monsters she tames and adult adventurers and guardsmen who take one look at this lonely child and go, "Well, guess I have a baby now." The isekai element is very lowkey, in that she basically just has a voice in her head giving her advice, and I like that it's about fighting local corruption instead of a demon army or what have you. I want more shows like this and less shows like every other generic isekai, haha.
10. Dungeon Meshi
This show is blowing up tumblr right now, so you've probably already seen it a billion times, but I'm going to make one more appeal for you to watch/read this story. It is so, so so good. And in my opinion, it is much MUCH more about family, both born and found, than it is about shipping. I could write a whole essay about Marcille and Falin's relationship that has nothing to do with romance, as I could for any other two (or three or four) characters in the main party, plus those outside. There is a LOT going on. I've been playing RPGs and LARPs for twenty years, and one reason I love the hobby so much is for the joy of creating found families with my best friends in new and different worlds, over and over again. This is the first piece of fiction I've found that really captures that particular aspect of party-based fantasy stories, the relationships that form and grow, the tight-knit bonds that keep everyone moving forward despite the monsters you must face (and consume). 
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literatureloverx · 2 months
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Hello! Inspired from that recent ask somebody said about fyodor "making exceptions" if his S/O was completely opposite to him, I wanted to ask, what does fyodor think about women.. who don't act quite feminine?
You know, those women who are brave and bold, swear and cuss, mentally and physically strong, talk and laugh loudly, have a lot of male friends, go completely crazy while having fun.. I wonder what fyodor thinks about women like them..
I know you said something like he probably wouldn't care or would be annoyed/distant but I wanted to know your specific thoughts about fyodor's take on women like this..
Would he ever date a woman like them?
Oh my, oh my… my dear, I am genuinely trying to stay as objective and realistic as possible in my interpretation of Fyodor’s character. ❤️ But I will try to write the things down that come into my mind.
The problem is... I don’t see it happening from a purely logical perspective.
I've explained thoroughly why I don’t see such a darling fitting for Fyodor, but I don’t want to dwell on the negatives because I don’t want to demoralize anyone. =>HERE
———————
Regarding your request: we have to consider that Fyodor is very, very old. He probably has a very old-fashioned view on relationships and expectations of women.
I don’t see his thoughts on such women as romantic, but rather friendly and neutral. Not negative, because, as I mentioned before, I believe he cherishes genuineness.
I don’t think he’d be against it; he just wouldn’t care much because such a darling wouldn’t possess the key aspects to becoming the object of his desire.
However, on a natural scale, I believe he would enjoy this person’s company sometimes. He would definitely admire a brave woman.
Regarding boldness: boldness about their feelings and emotions? He would find that adorable. I don’t see him caring about the physical strength of a woman at this point.
Now, having male friends is another aspect he wouldn’t appreciate. Don’t get me wrong; he is absolutely confident in himself and his abilities to pull your strings if you dared to try anything funny (but then again, he wouldn’t be with you in the first place).
There we are: this is why the ideal type seems so important to me. He wouldn’t like you spending time with other men just because you’re his. When I say he is possessive, I mean it. He is possessive in a very natural and old-fashioned way.
Now, I still think this type of darling is fitting for many characters, just not Fyodor.
I believe that Nikolai would appreciate such a darling very much, as well as Dazai. Even Chuuya, perhaps? There are many possibilities, and there are many characters who tend to be neutral about the personality of their darling and go with the flow.
The problem is that Fyodor isn’t one of them.
The main reasons are his seemingly never-ending lifetime, his idealistic views on beauty, philosophy, and art, and his dominant personality.
In conclusion, I don’t see him ever dating such a woman, at least in my interpretation of his character. ❤️
However, this shouldn’t discourage anyone from writing about Fyodor with such a darling in the slightest! It is only my interpretation, and Asagiri never clarified Fyodor’s ideal type in detail.
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restinslices · 9 months
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If requests are open how abt teens lin kuei brothers x brat male reader? (Also teen)
I tried my best but I’m actually so bad at writing dom characters, it’s insane. After Bi-Han, my brain shut off. If this was a paid service, you’d need a refund gang. You said teens but I kept them as adults cause although ik minors engage in those activities aswell, I’m an adult soooooo😃
Bi-Han
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Some people are probably expecting me to say some wild shit like he's the worst, he doesn't respect boundaries, he's always angry at you, doesn't listen to the safe word, ect ect. 
I don't think that's true 
Am I saying he's all soft and squishy? No. But Bi-Han is not a terrible dom. 
Bi-Han is a perfectionist so any precautions beforehand are definitely gonna be dealt with. What he wants outta this, what you want, limits, ect. 
Onto dealing with a brat though, we already know Bi-Han has a short temper so any bratty behavior would noticeably annoy him 
Smth that would guarantee a punishment would be acting out in front of other Lin Kuei or just in public. It'd be discreet enough that no one would really notice what's going on, but obvious enough that he'd know you're being a brat on purpose 
Questioning certain orders, doing things extremely slow, talking over him, the list could go on. Being bratty around people especially when he's supposed to be “professional” is the quickest way to get a punishment 
I kinda see it as a storm. You know it's coming, you see the signs, but when it happens you still go “dammit. I can't believe it's raining like this”
Does he warn you? Yes. But he only does it once. If you keep going, he mentally writes it all down 
Now Bi-Han doesn't strike me as someone who particularly likes physical touch all the time but punishments don't have to be the typical spanking or harsh fucking. He can be more creative 
I feel like he enjoys punishments that have to do with humiliation. There's so much control in telling you to do something and you just follow it. 
Very much a “ride my boot” type of guy 
The type to make you orgasm over and over again and you don't stop until he's satisfied (obviously keeping your safety and what you can take in mind though)
Takes bratty behavior seriously. He's not making funny little jokes or nothing of the sort. He's putting you in your place 
His punishments would linger. For example he'd tell you to tell him whenever you got horny and why for like, a solid week. This seems small but if you get hormonal easily, you're going up to him a lot and he's shaming you everytime. 
His arms? You're that easy? How could you even survive without him?
The best part of this is you don't have to tell him any of this. Realistically you could ignore this or not tell him every time you're hormonal, and he makes sure to taunt you and remind you of this. 
Humiliation punishments are his go to
Rewards would probably be allowing you a bit of control, like picking any toys you'll use or letting you pick the scene 
A brat would probably fit him well cause he gets to constantly put you in your place, which can be a good way to relax for him 
Kuai Liang
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Is also very organized. So organized I think he'd have a secret way to tell you he's actually not in the mood or too busy for you. 
“Go take a walk” means “not right now” 
Bratty behaviors that would bother him the most I think would be doing dumb shit. Like, below average IQ type of things. 
It bothers him because you're not stupid so stop acting stupid. If he says do A, don't do B
But it's fine. You wanna play stupid? He can do that. 
I know I said Bi-Han’s punishments sometimes linger but it really ain't got shit on Kuai Liang’s
If you wanna act like you don't understand basic orders because you wanna act out, then he's gonna act like he doesn't understand anything you want. 
You say “I need you” but he goes to do something else. What's the problem? Clearly you were saying you needed him to do laundry that day. 
You say “touch me” but he touches you everywhere except where you really need him 
You could say something as clear as “please make me cum” and he'd bring you close, but would stop. Why are you upset? You didn't say what day to make you cum. You'll do it later. 
Every single request you have for him turns into something you didn't want and he watches with satisfaction as it slowly drives you insane. 
And doing other bratty behaviors to try and get a response outta him doesn't work because the more bratty you act, the longer he's gonna keep this up. He has the patience to do this too. 
This won't stop until you're on your knees begging like a madman for him to do anything to make you feel good and promising you'll behave from now on. 
And even then he's not satisfied. You have to actually show you're gonna start behaving. He won't actually give you what you want until you behave for at least a week or two straight. No problems. No complaining. No issues. 
You both know you'll act out again but for a good chunk of time, he's enjoying his peace 
Tomas Vrbada
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I honestly cannot imagine this man as a dom but for you, I will try 
Tomas is a nice guy and this nice guy shit is how the problem would start 
Taunts would be the way to get to him. So when you say “can't you do better or are you too soft?” it gets to him 
Tomas’ version of punishment would be doing nothing at all. 
He's too soft? Ok. That means he's too soft to touch you, to whisper any dirty things, to tease you, ect. 
Kuai Liang is interacting with you but is doing the exact opposite, Tomas is straight up refusing to do anything. 
You can try to seduce him all you want, you're getting a smart ass “we can't do that. I'm too soft for all of that”
Legit becomes the biggest prude when it comes to doing anything with you. Has no problem touching himself and telling you you can't touch cause he “couldn't handle it”
He takes taunts literal. “I could fuck myself better”, ok then he won't touch you at all for awhile. You got it. “You could do better”, you are completely right. As a matter fact, how about he practice on himself or using a toy and making you watch. Ya know, just to have a third party to inform him if he's doing well. 
Just a real petty bitch in a cute package. 
Probably needs the most breaks when it comes to a brat though cause sometimes he's fr not tryna hear that shit and just needs someone to be there. Which is fine. 
I also imagine he’s possibly new to being a dom so this whole thing is trying shit out. He’s willing to experiment with different kind of punishments, rewards, schedules, all that shit.
When dealing with a brat Bi-Han is strict, Kuai Liang is patience and pettiness wrapped in one and Tomas is just petty 
Looking back there’s no mention of male anatomy and it’s so short. Idk why dom characters make my brain short circuit. We will attempt dom characters at a later date but for now, this is all I got.
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Something I’ve been thinking about lot lately are movies that I would introduce to people who haven’t seen many (or any) movies from Classic Hollywood.  If a friend came to me and asked me to recommend old movies, what would I choose?
What do I consider Old Hollywood “gateway movies”?
*Originally was going to stick to movies made before 1960, but one 60′s movie could not be ignored.*
Roman Holiday
I’ve heard this referred to as a “reverse Cinderella story” and I think that’s a great description.  It’s about a woman who just wants to get away from her stressful life and have fun...even if for only one day.  It really has it all...it’s lighthearted, funny, romantic and bittersweet.  And while these are in no particular order, this would probably be the first movie I’d suggest to someone.
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On The Waterfront
To me, this works as a great introduction because it actually is a bit of a transition movie for Hollywood...and by that I’m referring to the acting style.  Nearly every actor in this movie came from The Actor’s Studio, bringing the more grounded, realistic approach to acting that modern audiences are used to (compared to the more presentational style of the 30′s and 40′s).  So, this movie is a great way to ease them into Old Hollywood.  And the story still feels relevant today...trying to find the courage to stand up to the big guy who has his foot on the back of everyone’s neck...and risk alienating your friends in the process.
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The Adventures of Robin Hood
Of course, I was going to recommend this one!  This movie is just...so much fun...even if a person is new to Classic Hollywood, they are guaranteed to find something they like about this one.  Even if it’s just the swordfights or the score...but honestly, everyone I’ve shown this to has really enjoyed it (even people who don’t like adventure movies).
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Casablanca
Yes, this seems like an obvious choice, since it’s one of the greatest movies ever made.  But there’s a reason for that.  The acting, directing and writing are iconic and you really can’t ask for more.  Plus, one of the main points of the story is about sticking it to the Nazi’s.  I think we can all (hopefully) agree that that’s a point in this movie’s favor.
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12 Angry Men
Another movie that still feels timeless and relevant even after all these years.  It discusses themes of class, parent/child relationships, justice, ignorance and so much more, you’d believe it was written today.  And the performances from every single actor in that room is outstanding...there are some scenes that are so electric as you feel the tension rising.
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How to Steal a Million
Another Audrey movie!  This is a perfect option is someone wants to watch a fun, fluffy comedy.  It’s light and relatively low-stakes...it almost feels like a send-up of heist movies, except they don’t wink at the camera.  It’s just that instead of stealing something because the fate of the nation depends on it, or to stick it to the man...Nicole just wants to steal back something she already owns.  And the way they go about it is absurdly hilarious.  The chemistry between our two leads helps a lot, as they are so much fun to watch.
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Summer Stock
If I was only going to recommend one musical from back then, I’d have to recommend Summer Stock!  Not just because it’s one of my favorites, but because I do think it’s a fairly good choice to ease someone into older musicals.  It’s not super elaborate and grand...no Busby Berkely musical numbers or elaborate sequences...just a bunch of people trying to put on a show.  And the love story between Joe and Jane feels so real and grounded...no love at first sight, no enemies to lovers...just two people who happen to be perfect for each other, and were lucky enough to meet.  This is Gene Kelly and Judy Garland at their best and I want other people to see it.
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Rear Window
And if they wanted to see a Hitchcock movie, but maybe aren’t super into horror...I think I’d start them off with Rear Window.  This isn’t a traditional scary movie...as with most Hitchcock movies, it’s all about the tension.  But it isn’t released with jump scare and music stingers.  And around the tension, you have this romantic drama between James Stewart and Grace Kelly, which is so fun to watch (and we can’t forget Thelma Ritter and her one-liners!)
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And once they become hooked, the next round of films I’d suggest would be: A Streetcar Named Desire, The Maltese Falcon, Psycho, The Philadelphia Story, The Heiress, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and Meet Me in St. Louis.
Any that you would add?
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infriga · 1 year
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I convinced my mom to try the live action One Piece, because she's the type to like this style of show even though she isn't into animation and would never read manga, but I didn't think I'd be able to convince my dad because he's usually a stickler for more grounded and realistic stories (his favourite genre is war movies, his favourite movie is Saving Private Ryan, for reference). But, when I brought up with him how I figured it probably wouldn't be his thing because it was fantasy, he mentioned to me that he does enjoy some fantastical stuff if it has like an internal universe logic, like Star Wars, and the more I thought about it, the more I remembered that he also enjoys campy fun action adventure stuff that doesn't take itself too seriously like Indiana Jones or Pirates of the Carribean.
And One Piece has both that internal logic for why people can perform crazy feats (even if it isn't explained right away) which I mentioned to him (just that there is a reason why people can do crazy things in this world), as well as the campy fun action adventure thing going for it, especially in the Live Action (the fight against Morgan's base even has a major Indiana Jones vibes ngl). So I explained that to him and asked if he wanted to try it, and he agreed to watching the first episode with me to decide if he'd watch it with my mom and me.
AND HE ACTUALLY SAID IT WAS INTERESTING SO FAR!! Like, he is NOT the kinda guy to enjoy anime or manga or even western cartoons, always refuses to watch anything anime and doesn't show any interest when I talk about it (I've managed to convince him to watch a few movies like Sword of the Stranger but it's obvious that even when he's not bored or doesn't hate it, it still doesn't catch or keep his interest), and he's really picky about anything fantasy or SciFi, if it like sets off his bullshit meter too much he starts nitpicking the logic behind certain abilities, or decisions, or explanations, etc. I once tried to get him to try Gravity Falls and he wanted to stop after the first episode. He's THAT picky.
So the fact that he actually laughed several times while watching the first episode of OPLA with me, commented about Luffy's character positively several times (he seems to think Luffy is really funny which surprised me cause I thought he'd be the most entertained by Zoro but I mean I can't blame him it is Luffy after all), never cringed or criticised or said anything about how ridiculous it was, means a lot coming from him cause he's always really blunt and honest about his opinion on this sort of stuff (which is fine I don't want him to pretend to enjoy stuff when he doesn't). He actually watched the whole first episode without it losing his attention, and seemed to have fun! And he agreed to watch the rest with my mom and me!
This sort of thing is one of the reasons why I dislike when people just dismiss the idea of live action adaptations entirely. I get that people are jaded with past failures, and don't like when live action is treated like a replacement for or improvement from animation when it isn't. But it is a valid medium just as much as animation or comics or writing are, and can be used to produce some amazing things. And the fact is, there are people who have a hard time connecting with other mediums who will otherwise never engage with this media in its original forms. Live Action, when done well and done right, can reach new audiences and welcome them into the fold in ways the original formats never can.
One Piece didn't need the live action to be popular, obviously, and the live action cannot and will not replace the original, nor should it. But I love that we get to have it alongside the manga and anime. It's just more of what we love, it's the cherry on top of an already stellar multi-layered cake. It complements the original rather than taking anything away from it. And for the first time in over a decade I might be able to share One Piece with my parents, who would only ever have a chance of experiencing it and enjoying it in live action. There's just something so awesome about that for me personally. I just wish more live action adaptations would understand what the One Piece live action understood about the adaptation process, and that's how to keep the heart of the story in-tact, so more people from more fandoms could have a chance to share something they love with more people who it would otherwise not reach.
Anyway, thank you Oda and the OPLA cast and crew for doing live action right for once!
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Would you write a smut fic with ghost x dom reader x soap??(reader can be fem or gn and make both boys submissive maybe a moment where they fuck each other and the reader watches them and controls them).IDK WRITE IT HOWEVER YOU IMAGINE IT. I just dont have the skill to write so i am requesting it here.I hope its not weird.
I got you (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
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Ghost x Dom!Reader x Soap
Ghost and Soap find themselves crushing on the same woman on their team, a friendly bout between two comrades to see who you'll choose, only your answer's not one they'd expected to hear.
NSFW 18+, Shameless Smut, Porn With Plot, very little plot, MMF, P in V sex, Tons of Teasing, Steamy Makeouts, Groping, Grinding, Double-Penetration, Anal, Ceampie, Explicit Description, Graphic Language, Dom!Reader, Sub!Soap, Sub!Ghost, Sexual Tension, Some Ghostsoap moments as well, Playful Banter, Bickering, Flirting, Build-Up, Jealousy, Soap and Ghost are fighting over the same girl, but it's friendly competition, ends in a three way too so, will do more proofreading I promise!
WC: 7k ~
Author's Note: This took me way longer to type than it probably should have. I hope it makes for a good read. It's total nonsense, and probably not very realistic (though I do try). It's not exactly like the anon, I'm sorry! But hopefully, it's still good. Please, please, please enjoy, and thank you so much for reading my things!
Masterlist
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The front door shut close, leaving the living room just a bit more silent now that its previous company had just departed. You look back towards your remaining two house guests, the smile already unable to stop from forming on your face. You'd been hoping for some alone time with both Ghost and Soap, and it seems fate would smile on you tonight, for now, you had both of them here.
You invited the whole team back over to your place for the weekend, after having just come back from an op with both Price and Gaz, which lasted damn near over a month. The whole thing had been rather uneventful, to say the least; some reconnaissance and leads which went mostly nowhere (well, nowhere for your team; Laswell definitely had a heyday from the sound of things).
With how mind-numbingly dull the whole assignment turned out to be, everyone couldn't be happier to finally sit back and relax with some drinks and good company once back home. All night you spent recapping the events of the mission, including all the monotony which had conspired.
At one point, the most entertainment you could find out there had been both you and Gaz slowly "misplacing" Price's things -- unimportant items that wouldn't do any harm if left unnoticed. You had bets on how long it'd take for him to notice things slowly going missing everyday.
Surprisingly, you nearly got away with it for a whole week, until one morning when he finally questioned the funny look you two had on your faces when he'd been scratching his head, completely perplexed by the absence of his things. Price was in a better mood retelling the story than he had been in the moment.
Eventually, everyone started to disperse as the night went on -- Price got tired and left first, maybe an hour after that Gaz called it a night as well. Once they'd left, you found yourself in your living room with the only two mates you'd been thinking about all day, Ghost and Soap.
Only unbeknownst to both you and each other, both men had deliberately been trying to stick around, having shared the sentiment in wanting some long-awaited alone time with you... except the night keeps getting later, and they both keep giving each other increasingly odd looks, impatiently waiting for the other to leave so they could finally make a move on you.
Both Ghost and Soap have wanted you for a long time now, longer than either men cared to admit. Funnily enough, it was Ghost who'd caught feelings first.
It came to him as randomly as a Tuesday morning. You were just doing what you normally do. However, it had been your mundane actions that somehow drew him in initially. How you go about life with a smile and good attitude, the way you look at him when you found something funny, and the slight lilt to your voice when you talk and get excited. He would feel a lucky man indeed to be yours.
However, Soap had been the one to be more upfront about his interest in you, after developing feelings of his own. The Sergeant's likings to you came suddenly and without warning, but once they'd developed, it couldn't be more obvious that he was down BAD.
More often than not was he finding little excuses to touch you, whether it be a passing hand on the small of your back when squeezing by, or a congratulatory hug after a successful mission. Soap's suave charisma made it easy to do. And with the touching, it was always followed by some sly little line that would have you blushing and pulling at the fabric of your sleeve all shy-like.
He's slowly ramped the flirting up the more time passes, and Ghost knows if he doesn't at least say something now, then it won't be long before Soap takes the chance himself. Tonight had felt a perfect enough opportunity to finally make some waves, though, Soap was fast proving to be a formidable opponent.
"Jeez!" You stretch your hands over your head and yawn dramatically, both men's eyes luring a bit longer than they should have on you as you did so. "I didn't realize how late it was getting."
"Aye, same," Soap lets out a little yawn as well, making himself more comfy on your couch. "You don't mind though, no?"
"Not at all," you say. If only they knew how many nights you've spent letting one of the two men be your idle bedtime fancies into slumber. Wondering what it was they could be doing at that moment in time, and if they'd been thinking of you too. "I missed you guys."
"Aw, we missed you too, lass," Soap smiles at you, before his gaze drops over to Ghost's, who'd begun to glare.
He often forgoes the mask in more domestic environments like this with the team, the others having already seen him before. Though it didn't stop the man from forgetting not to wear his emotions on his face like he still had one on. You thought his eyes were expressive, but little had you all known it was only the tip of the iceberg.
Keeping calm and remaining stoic in combat is one thing, however, anger and disapproval came easy to him, in which case he rivaled for having the worst poker face you'd ever seen.
The Sergeant had taken this fouled expression for disagreement in his statement, even as the look had been for an entirely different reason altogether. Soap merely goes on, "Or, I missed you at least. Ghost might feel differently."
Bastard. Putting him on the spot like this; Ghost almost chuckles, the cheeky fuck. He knew what Soap was trying to do: subtly make himself look better in your eyes so that you choose him over the other.
Had he known better, Ghost would think Soap might actually be aware of the lieutenant's crush on you, by the way he smirked in his direction after saying it. He admits he hadn't expected Soap to partake in such petty games either; then again, this was a first, the two of them liking the same woman like this.
If this is how he plays, then Ghost thought only one thing -- Game on.
"Oh I'm sure you missed me too," you stand up from the couch now, twirling over to face him. "Right, Si'?"
"And then some, love," Ghost says.
Your smile brightens, and the man is ashamed to say that it gives him the warm fuzzies in these late hours. The way the living room lighting curved over your neck had also been a sight worth eliciting something deep within him.
Ghost takes a quick glance over at Soap, catching his less-than-excited reaction to the lieutenant's successful line. He has to remember not to grow too expressive at that moment. Not with you here at least.
You excuse yourself to the restroom shortly after, having paid no mind to the growing tension between your comrades. You'd all but taken the soothing atmosphere with you, leaving instead an awkward aura Ghost and Soap willfully drowned themselves in.
It's Ghost who speaks first, his dark eyes having watched your backside make its way down the hall and round the corner. The more drink he had in him, the less subtle his staring grew. Soap has noticed as much tonight especially.
"It's gettin' rather late." Ghost straightens up in his seat before finishing off his Bourbon and placing it back down on the coffee table. "Damn near one in the a.m. Yet you look proper cozy, mate."
"Aye, I am," Soap says rather proudly, further making his point by getting comfortable on the couch and taking another swig of his tequila. "Been too long since I been 'ere. Was startin' to miss layin' on the ol' thing," he rubs the cushion as though he were petting an old dog.
Ghost leans back in his seat now. "You stay over this late often, then?"
Soap pauses, having to double take that question, until his blue eyes fell on Ghost's brown ones, and he saw clearly what he was asking him.
He asks the man right back, "Do you, mate?"
A cocky little grin forms on the Scotsman's face. Had Ghost not been so wrapped up in you, it might have brought him to a pause there. Soap always did have a nice smile.
Soap didn't have to be a genius to know Ghost liked you though; he goes all but slack-jaw anytime you walk by him. Not to mention it wasn't a common thing for Ghost to be the one sticking around late during a get-together. He's normally the first to call it a night, in fact.
Only tonight, that hadn't been the case for him at all. No, Ghost was as planted in his chair as Soap was; they both might as well have sprouted roots. And they both had enough drink to muster up the right amount of bravado needed to keep this sudden, little interrogation going.
"I asked you first, Johnny," Ghost says, his deep voice laced with something more playfully cunning.
"And I answered you," Soap teases back.
"With a question."
"It's still an answer, no?"
Now Soap was just being deliberately obtuse. Ever since he knew he could do it, Soap's enjoyed pushing the lieutenant's buttons and getting a rile out of him. It's only increased tenfold over the last year, not that Ghost has tried to stop him.
Ghost leans forward now, resting his arms on his knees and furrowing his brow. "A'right, out with it, then," he says. "What's your game 'ere?"
Soap's brow furrows rather facetiously. '"I'm sorry, sir?"
"Don’t play dumb Johnny." The playful tone Ghost once used before has now since cooled, growing darker. "You know wha' I'm askin'."
Soap merely smirks, resting his arm back against the couch. "The same game you're playing, yeah?"
"And what game is that, Johnny?"
Soap can't help but laugh now, growing more and more cocky with each loaded exchange. On a normal day, Ghost might manage to intimidate the Sergeant every so often with his sheer presence, let alone his words. However, when it comes to women, Soap couldn't feel more in his element, especially up against his superior.
"One I'll beat you in."
Now it's Ghost's turn to have a laugh. A subtle thing, trapped beneath the burliness of his chest, though its deep rumble is audible enough, having warmed the Scotsman's cheeks at the sound.
"I doubt that," Ghost says.
"You underestimate my charm L.T."
Soap puckers his lips and kisses the air between the two men mockingly. As much as Ghost tried to hide it, the sight had made the air catch in his throat for a second. It's that usual, competitive nature about the Sergeant that really gets Ghost's blood pumping during these mutual bouts of bickering.
"My last statement still stands," Ghost chuckles. "So what? You thought I'd leave and you two would just go at it then?"
"I wouldn't say it like that," Soap says. "...But I was hoping to have some alone time with her, yes."
"And you figured on waitin' for the rest of us to vacate before making a move..." Ghost shrugs with affirmation. "...Clever man."
"Yeah, well, what about you?" Soap asks. "Clearly we're both still here for the same reason. What's your "game", L.T.?"
"It's not your concern."
Soap groans, sinking back in his seat, though he hadn't been surprised by his response. "Suppose it isn't, then," he says. "It's hers."
"That's right," Ghost agrees. "We can't both have her."
"Can't we?"
Ghost brings his eyes forward to Soap's, having thought his comment been a mere joke. However, once their gazes matched, Ghost could see that his Sergeant was dead serious.
Personally, Soap's never been opposed to the idea of a threesome. He'd even be lying if he said he hadn't fantasized about it from time to time, as boyish as it sounds. Adding Ghost into that equation hadn't tripped him up much in the slightest either; Lord knows the lieutenant would be next on Soap's list if you weren't at the top of it already.
Still, Ghost had a hard time even picturing a scenario where something like that could happen, let alone with all three of you. No doubt the man had been interested in you, and for a while, he'd even felt something for Soap as well, feelings that haven't necessarily gone away.
Something with all three of you would no doubt be perfect, however, it just seemed...
"Let's be real here, Johnny." Ghost leaves it at that.
"Suit yourself," Soap merely shrugs, before a light bulb moment suddenly lets off in his eyes. "How about we bring this to the source then? Hey Y/N!"
"Soap-"
"Oi, calm down, mate," he smiles at him. "No point in beatin' 'round the bush, aye?"
You reemerge from around the corner, having heard their voices vaguely through your door this entire time, but not being able to put full words together. Not without having your ear pressed to the wall. From the "uh-oh" look you had on your face, though, something told the two men you were already preparing for them to say something crazy.
"What's up?"
Soap gives Ghost a final look, waiting to see if the man will protest. However, when he sees that he doesn't speak, Soap grins, turning back to you.
"If you had to pick between Ghost and I, who're you choosin'?"
"Pick for what?" you ask, certainly needing clarification. "For battle?"
Soap bursts out laughing, just now feeling how awkward it was going to be explaining this to you. "No," he says. "Like if you had to pick one of us to... I don't know, go out on a date with, who would you pick?"
You keep smiling at Soap like he's joking, waiting to hear him laugh, but once you see he hasn't budged, you feel your heart begin to race.
Your eyes grow wide, now suddenly embarrassed to have the spotlight on you. "You're seriously asking?"
Soap nods. "I am."
You look over at Ghost now. Surely this was just another one of Soap's antics. "You too?"
Ghost shrugs. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious."
You were hoping he wouldn't say that. But, if they were asking, then may God be your witness as you answer them.
Placing a hand to your chin, you pout to yourself and look back and forth between your teammates, sizing both men up for every physical feature they had to offer.
Your mind immediately goes to the gutter, not being able to help it. You've found them both distractingly good-looking ever since you joined the team, and you've more than thought about this before. Just never in comparison. Or out loud.
Soap looks like he'd be fun to play with -- he's eager, energetic, and even better, open-minded. Not to mention he was cocky too; you always liked a man who could talk his shit and back it up. With those big arms of his, he could just box you in against the bed and pin you down good and firm, as he drills into you, cooing that sweet little accent of his in your ear like he would. It made your body tingle just thinking about it.
And then there was Ghost; if there was any voice you wouldn't mind having growled in your ear while being fucked senseless, it was his. Unlike Soap, you just knew you wouldn't get it rough like you would from Ghost. You've lost count of how many times you've caught yourself gawking at him during sparring sessions or while out in the field, watching that bulking mass of muscle of his he called a body, manhandle any and everything in his way. Having him do the same to you in a more intimate sense never failed to make the lower parts of yourself start to throb at the thought.
After giving both men a good, long look, you sigh, letting your arms fall back to your sides.
"I can't choose."
"Ah, don't be shy now, lass," Soap says. "If you're worried about hurtin' our feelings-"
"No it's not that," you cut in. "It's just not an easy choice, you know?"
Ghost raises an eyebrow now. "Oh?"
"Oh, don't act all surprised, Simon."
"You like us both then?" Soap asks cautiously.
"I'd say so." You begin to smirk. "Why? What's going on here?"
The two give each other a look, before Ghost goes to explain things to you.
"We're just trying to figure out which one of us has a shot."
"Figures you should be the deciding vote, seeing as you're the subject of interest, lass."
You imagine you look pretty stupid standing at the center of your living room all wide-eyed like you do, but frankly, this just feels too good to be true. It hadn't been one of them that was supposedly into you, but both of them. If you could do a backflip, you'd do twelve right now, no questions asked.
But before you get head over heels about this, "So you're saying you both want me then?"
"In more ways than one, darlin'," Soap teases.
You glance over at Ghost this time, having taken note of his sudden silence. "You too, Simon?"
He hadn't necessarily been prepared to confess his feelings to you, not like this, and much less in front of an opposing audience. Still, Ghost wouldn't have his own Sergeant show him up so easily. Plus, the way your eyes lured at him this whole time had a chill running down his spine, making it hard to concentrate. So he nods, "That's right."
A devilish smile slowly creeps over your lips.
"Well, can't I just have you both?"
"Aye, that's what I'm sayin'!"
"Problem solved then, right?" You laugh.
"If only," Soap says. "Ghost didn't seem up for it when I brought it up earlier-"
"You puttin' words in my mouth now, Johnny." Ghost cuts in.
"Oh, don't switch up now L.T.-"
"Boys," you cut in before they've started going back in forth again, a playful smile still painting your lips. You were eating this up, if you were being honest. "Relax," you say. "We can... get to the bottom of this, yeah?"
Both your eyes shift over to Ghost, who now sits awkwardly to himself on the couch, hands resting motionless on his large lap.
"Well Simon?" You ask him. "Are you down?"
"I'm not one for sharing, love," Ghost coos at you.
You slowly make your way over to the lieutenant, your eyes looming over him like a panther that's just found its next meal. Ghost feels himself hold his breath, watching as you've paused just in front of him, your back now facing Soap, though you can feel his eyes on your backside, taking in the nice view of you, and feeling himself grow harder in his pants.
This close, having smelt your scent on the way over, and felt the remnants of your breath in the air between you two, Ghost could feel his mind beginning to slip out from itself, heading into dangerous territories.
He could see in your eyes you knew exactly what you were doing too. Exactly what you wanted to do. The ball was in your park, and that made you in charge from this point on. The only thing they needed to do now was listen. And Ghost was sitting at the edge of his seat, waiting to hear you.
"Come on, Si'," you say so playfully. "Don't be greedy."
Ghost merely scoffs, an awkward smile forming. "How can I not?"
As though to then challenge the man, you step even closer, placing yourself right at the brink between his legs, having now rested your dainty hands over his muscular thighs like a ledge to lean on. The man can't even stop himself from letting his hands rest on your hips, your body naturally shifting just a little closer as he's done it. Every little thing you did had him ready to tear you out of your clothes and devour you whole.
No, the man knows he's too greedy for his own good. If he had even the smallest taste of you, he wouldn't want your attention on no one other than him. Howbeit, looking back over towards the Sergeant only made him want to throw that caution out the window.
Soap doesn't see the man staring daggers into him at first; his blue eyes have been glued to your ass since you turned your back to him. For the short second he does glance up at the lieutenant, he grins daringly. Taunting him to go home and tuck tail so he could have you all to himself instead. Make this easier for him tonight.
That's just what Soap wants, Ghost thought. Here the opportunity was now to have you, and he's fumbling it away all because he feels he can't share with Soap. Saying it again in his head like that gets him thinking though. If that's the only hurdle between him and you fucking, then it seemed easy enough to step over.
He won't back down that easily, even if he has to "share" you. If you want him like he wants you, then you'll have him, however way you like, just as he'll have you.
Ghost brings his hands down and lets his fingers graze your ass just enough for the Sergeant to see since he couldn't keep his eyes off you. Sickly enough, he hopes the sight is driving the Scot mad. God knows Ghost feels mad enough himself.
The minute you've felt his touch on you, you hum pleasantly, stepping even closer, so that he could take better hold of your bottom and have your small body caged between his large arms and legs like walls, his face only inches or so from yours.
Ghost could feel himself getting more comfortable with the idea of sharing. At least when he had you to himself like this. Especially with how your hands have begun to leisurely rest over his shoulders now, keeping the man just as close.
"I knew you'd come around," you praise, your words now having the man feeling giddy, ready to take them to further levels.
"Just takes the right convincing," he hums.
"I'm feelin' awfully lonely back 'ere," Soap chimes in, doing the best he could not to sink so low as to start touching himself before being given the OK by you first, wanting to hear the words leave your pretty, little mouth. Even as his cock was already throbbing in his pants for some relief.
You merely chuckle, cocking your head back to look at the Sergeant. "I haven't forgotten about you, don't worry," you coo. "You just be a good little lad and wait a moment, yeah?"
Though he wanted to protest, step over, and take you all for himself, Soap did as you told him to and stayed put, continuing to let his eyes have their way with the parts of your body he's all but only been able to steal quick glances at before. He could only hope his patience would be rewarded; and so long as you keep talking to him like you are now, he'll wait until the sun rises if he has to.
You turn your attention back to Ghost, not having forgotten about his hands which oh so nonchalantly groped the cheeks of your ass, kneading and massaging his fingers into the backs of your thighs. He wanted nothing more than to keep letting his hands roam until they've found the center of you, his mind already playing the short gasps and moans you'd make with his fingers knuckle deep in you.
He knew you'd only make him regret it if he so much as did anything without your say-so first.
You reveled at seeing both men so eager and receptive to listen, given how fast this all went down. Frankly, it's got your head spinning so fast that you feel like you've just been drugged. However, rather than let that adrenaline crumble you down, you instead use it as chaotic fuel to your lustful actions.
You climb onto Ghost's lap like a backward chair, straddling him down with your thighs and rocking yourself against him. As he's felt you grind generously so, a tattered breath escapes his lips. Broken and faint. His expression does all it can do to remain as still as possible, only to fail, as his gaze lowers, bouncing between your eyes and lips.
Having his hands grow a mind of their own, Ghost lets them slide to your back, encouraging you to keep moving against him, which you do gladly, the lust bubbling down your lower half like a chemical reaction.
"Fuck, love," Ghost huffs out. "You're really takin' me for a ride right now, aren't you?"
"Hope you're buckled in," you tease, following it with another smooth sway of your hips, giving the man a deep grind hard enough to leave him breathing heavy.
Just when he's about ready to kiss you, you look back over at Soap, smiling. Your index finger lifts innocently, beckoning the man. "Come along now, big boy," you say.
You don't have to tell him twice.
In a matter of seconds, the man is behind you, towering over you and keeping you now sandwiched between both him and Ghost.
When you see they're both waiting on your next word, you chuckle to yourself, the power now starting to go to your head. To think, you had two of the deadliest men on your team damn near drooling, ready to fuck you. How could you not let it get to your head?
"Well," you give both men a final lurid, look, and say, "I'm waiting."
Soap and Ghost exchange wary looks, suddenly unsure of what to do with themselves now that they had you like this. Evidently, despite you already sitting on the lieutenant's lap, it's Soap who swoops in for the kiss first.
You feel his large hand push past your hair and curve around your jaw, his fingers grazing your neck before he's cocked your head back to give you a proper eye-fucking, before he's leaned down and smacked his mouth against yours, Ghost be damned.
You wiggle on Ghost's lap, your legs tightening over his thighs in an attempt to keep balance as the Sergeant all but swallowed you whole, his hands cupping around your face, keeping you from escaping.
Using the Sergeant as further support, you stretch your arms over your head and let them rest against Soap's shoulders like a warm wall, your hands cupping his face and keeping him just as pulled in, your tongues trading the taste of each other and your body unconsciously rocking over Ghost's crotch, feeling two sets of arousal brim in you from top to bottom.
Having you bouncing over his cock like this was driving Ghost feral, getting off on just the sight of you. Of course, watching you make precise work with Soap's mouth soon had the lieutenant wanting more, growing impatient waiting for the Sergeant to let up.
Ghost instead lets his hands cup over your breast, groping and massaging them generously through your shirt. His mouth finds your neck bare for his teeth, sinking them in lightly each time before he's left a heated kiss in its place, letting his lips travel down your neck until he's felt his tongue graze your collarbone, complimenting the kissing Soap gave you above.
Your mouth may be occupied by the Sergeant's, but your body belonged to the lieutenant, so long as you continued to bounce on top of him like you were.
He lets one hand leave your breast, sliding his fingers and letting them dig against your clothed skin, until it's ducked between your legs, beginning to fumble with the buttons of your pants.
It's here you've parted your mouth from Soap's, the man looking down at your doe-eyed expression, hungering for more. You see the tinge of excitement that lights up in the sky-blue of his eyes as he watches your hands make their way toward his belt, swiftly undoing it and pulling it from his waist. If Ghost would have his way with you, then you would have yours with Soap.
Ghost has slipped his hand into your pants just as you've sprung Soap's cock free of its trouser, his large member sitting in your palm like a heavy, third limb. Soap can barely enjoy the sight of you holding him so close before you've let your tongue tease over the head of him, sucking lightly at the tip and tasting the remnants of his precum on your tongue.
Soap lets his head cock back pleasurably, groaning out to himself with a smile. "Ah," he groans, "You're too good to me, Bonnie."
Soap lets his hands rest at the side of your head rather brutishly, lightly nudging your mouth further down onto his cock, his abs tensing as he listened to the light gags you let out. Despite his persistence, you kept control of yourself, making sure that your movements had the man locked into your touch. It hadn't helped that your mind was caught in two places right now.
Ghost let his two fingers massage against your clit as though he were tasked with his life to see the job done properly. The tips of his fingers dip between your folds and tease your hole, before letting your slick lubricate him, soon to return rubbing against your bud in ways that made the entire lower half of your body feel sore with lust.
And it hadn't been enough to have his hand down your pants making a ruined mess of you. Ghost's other hand very much continued to pluck and roll at your nipple, having slipped beneath your shirt at some point during the interaction, holding against you as you rocked yourself against his hand, your moans humming over the Sergeant's cock and sending a wave of euphoria down him as well.
With one hand still free, you decide it's time that Ghost enjoys himself as well. He watches your single hand with hungry eyes, slightly shaken and erratic from both his fingering and Soap's cock a mere inch away from hitting the back of your throat, the man's groans of approval like music to your ears. Your hand travels down to his belt and undoes it with ease before you've slipped him free of his jeans as well, your fingers taking in the very shape of him.
Your thumb grazes his dripping tip, letting it slick down his shaft before you've begun to pump at him, feeling the man's body tense at your touch. It makes his fingers against your clit lose their rhythm, but only momentarily.
"Fuckin' hell," he breathes out. "Just like tha', love."
The Sergeant glances down at the lieutenant, catching his dazed eyes locked on your bobbing mouth, taking in a full review of your work on the Sergeant's cock.
He could see it in the man's eyes, he was jealous, envious that he had your mouth all to himself while he had to settle for your hand. Granted your fingers danced about his shaft like an angel in her craft, though even he couldn't resist the allure that was watching your saliva dribble down his subordinate's cock, imagining the warmth of your throat struggling to take his entire length. You've felt his cock throb in your hands just at the thought, his hips faintly chasing your purposefully coy grip on him.
Soap chuckles, not being used to seeing his superior so awestruck and drunk with lust, hearing all sorts of noises and groans from the man he could never have imagined.
"Enjoyin' the show there, L.T.?" Soap teases, quickly following it by readjusting his hand on the side of your face, taking light hold of you to help further steady your already perfect rhythm.
In response, Ghost slips a third finger in you, listening to the carnal noises your cunt made at each thrust of his fingers, watching your mouth twitch over the Sergeant, momentarily struggling to suck him off through the moans that clawed out of you. That gets you to put more attention back on Ghost, your hand taking better hold of his cock and dancing over the large girth of him, keeping a steady motion until you've seen the wave-like rising and falling of his chest.
Through his light panting, Ghost taunts, "Got the best seat in the house, Johnny."
"Oh, is tha' righ', mate?" Soap licks his lips, and lets his eyes drop noticeably down to the lieutenant's cock, watching your single hand continue to pump at him, barely able to hold it all in one hand. It makes the Sergeant let out a teasing groan. "Shall we put it to the test then, L.T.?"
Ghost stares at the Sergeant, hungry for the man just as much as he starved for you.
"Be my guest, Johnny."
Hearing the two go back and forth had you giddy to see what both men had in store for each other. However, it had you just as eager to join in on the fray yourself.
After what felt like an eternity of having your drool dribble itself over the Sergeant's cock, you let your lips part from him, and with your other hand, remove yourself from Ghost as well, giggling at their kicked-puppy-dog expressions.
"I have a better idea," you say. You reach for the bottom of your shirt before pulling it over your head and discarding it at the edge of the couch. Once removed, both men fell on the same page rather quickly.
Soap's hands hastily fumbled at the clasp of your bra, before the fabric has fallen loose and your chest now lay bare for Ghost's full perusal. He hardly any time to truly enjoy it before you've momentarily climbed from him to rid yourself of the rest of your clothing, now standing a dripping, naked beauty of a woman.
Both men could do nothing more but stare, hands subconsciously stroking oneselves at the sight of you.
"Now," you say. "I can't have you both feeling so left out while the other fucks me."
"It would be cruel," Ghost quips gruffly, his eyes having been glued to your chest since he's seen your breast bounce so freely before him.
You step back over to Ghost, retaking your place over his lap and letting his cock rest thick beneath you, your sopping folds hugging warmly over him, sending a shiver down his entire body. You grind slowly, letting your fluids paint him, and wetting yourself good for what you were dying to have.
Ghost leans in, letting his hand rest on the small of your back and his lips caress the shell of your ear. "This is much crueler," he whispers. His hands immediately cupped over your breast again, recapturing the feeling of you and letting his hips lightly rock, chasing every part of you he could.
You lean forward until you've felt his nose brush the tip of yours and his breath tickle your lips.
"Don't get pouty now, Si'," you coo.
"Aye," Soap chimes in. "You're the one goin' first."
You look over at Soap playfully, leaning forward to pull him back in close by the hem of his shirt.
"I already told you two not to be greedy," you let your hand retake hold of him, your fingers curving over his girthy length gently. It shuts him up quickly, coming back in so closely to you both. "You two can share."
"What's your plan then, love?" Ghost asks, already having let his hand dive back down between your legs, gripping over his cock so the tip of his head could tease at your hole, wetness and slick coating you both.
You take your hand and you rub it against yourself, making sure every bit of your parts below had been lubed. You bring that same, dripping hand back up to Soap, before dressing his cock with your warm fluids, massaging the man, and feeling the grooves of his veins against your fingers throb.
"Now be a good little spotter and watch my back," you say playfully, before letting your eyes dip back down to Ghost. "I think the lieutenant's got the front covered."
Soap chuckles to himself, before you've felt his large hands rest gently against your bare shoulders, his callous fingers running down slowly to take a hefty handful of your ass, gripping the cheek tightly. He spreads you roughly, his eyes growing large at the sight of you, already knowing his cock would be more than a tight fit for you and devilishly longing for it.
As you've felt Soap rub his cock between your ass, letting your cheeks hug him, his hand digging possessively into your skin, you feel Ghost's hand lock over your neck, holding you there gently in front of him. That way your eyes could stay on him as his cock continued to gently nudge at your hole, only a single thrust away from finally entering you.
"You sure you can take us both?" Ghost asks.
"Wouldn't want to hurt you, lass," Soap adds in.
You position yourself better over Ghost, ready to retake your seat.
"I can handle myself, boys," you say. "Now, show me who wants it more."
You lower yourself on Ghost's cocks, feeling your folds begin to stretch and the grooves of your walls run by every vein and shape of him. It's too much at first, and he can see it in your wincing face, however, you keep lowering yourself, powering through that initial pain and instead letting that pressure boil in you like nothing you've ever felt before. It was overwhelming, and it had your lips quivering with silent moans already.
Just as you've felt your pussy start to take the full length of him, you've felt Soap tease at your second hole, his cock rubbing playfully at you, the tip dipping in ever so slightly, giving you a completely new feeling altogether. His cock stretches you just as much as Ghost's, both men easing your body to the shape of them all at once, and both waves of pleasure complimenting each other in ways that had your body shaking over them, unable to string words together.
"Fuckin' Christ, you're tight, Bonnie," Soap groans.
"Don't... stop...," you say desperately, wanting to squash any reluctance they may feel. The pleasure your body ached for was just now beginning to reach its peak. "...I can take it."
Once your body adjusted, it hadn't grown long before this slow easing had turned into an organized attack, both men pounding savagely into you.
You sat, nearly sandwiched between two men, your chest pressed against Ghost's as he hugged you to him, his cock bullying into you powerfully, the base of himself smacking against your pussy at each thrust.
In rhythm, Soap rests his chest against your back, planting kisses at your spine each time he's let himself thrust just a bit deeper inside your ass. Your hole gripped his cock so tightly it nearly pulled at him each time he came out, only to crash another orgasm-inducing thrust into you, both him and Ghost going back in forth like well-trained machines.
"That's right lovey, there you go," Ghost praises you, his breath fanning your ear. "You're takin' us so well."
In the midst of both men's vicious pounding, it felt as though every bit of you all had been entangled in some way. Hands clumsily felt, hugged, and tugged at one another, chests heaving and moans forming an opera within your living room.
When your tongue wasn't dipping itself into Ghost's mouth, then you're head was cocked back, having a few more kisses be stolen from you by Soap. At some points even, when you're face was buried in Ghost's chest attempting to muffle your moans, you've felt both men lean in to keep each other company in the meantime, rough lips pressed harshly to one another in a passionate kiss you only wished to mirror once they've parted.
Mouths part just enough to concentrate on breathing, each gasp of air being halted by yet another thrust from both ends of you.
Both men have felt an animal-like fury come out of them at each orgasm they've pulled, feeling your body tighten over their cocks and your limbs shake with pleasure, drool, and tears leaking from you, your mind completely scrambled after eleven straight minutes of this.
It isn't until Ghost has opened his eyes again, finding your face twisted with pleasure, and seeing the Sergeant's love-drunk expression -- eyes half-lidded with lust, biting his lip -- that Ghost feels himself finally at his end.
His fingers claw harshly into your skin, his pace growing punishable. Seeing the lieutenant move so carnally clicked in the sergeant's mind quickly what that had meant, already being at the brink of a climax himself.
You hug yourself over Ghost's shoulders, your body so exhausted you could pass out right now before they've even finished. Even so, you couldn't get enough of this sensation; this could go on for another hour if they wanted it to.
"...I'm ready for it," you moan. "Give it to me..."
Both men's cocks pulsate in you, your holes being filled to the brim with their cum, as it drips from you sloppily once they've pulled themselves out.
With heavy huffs, everyone in the room falls back onto the couch, taking a moment to themselves to regain their air. You still couldn't believe that just happened... that any of this had happened.
"So," Soap pants out, about ready to crash on your couch again. "Which one of us did'ye think wanted you more?"
You give Soap a sly look, baffled he would even ask you that right now. "I don't know."
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Author's Note: The behemoth has been slain! I'm NEVER typing a request that is longer than 3k words ever again (this took me almost a month and a half to type due to my schedule). However, I am open to any requests for prompts with the CoD boys, though preferably none that are straight smut (I'm kind of burnt out on it atm :/).
I do hope you enjoyed this, however, and please feel free to leave a comment or any feedback! Thank you again!
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sharpth1ng · 1 month
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what would squilliam and shoehorn think of the stab movies?
So in-universe they're considered kind of bad and trashy when they come out, and from what we see they play in to a lot of the cheesy slasher tropes that scream subverts (ex. turning Casey's death into a shower scene for no reason). Later on in the franchise we find out they've developed a cult following, and from what we see of them on screen they're very campy. There's lots of movies IRL that follow this pattern going from bomb to cult classic: Dead Alive, The Thing, Slither, Phantom of the Paradise, ect, ect.
We also know that at least the first 3 Stab movies are directed by Robert Rodriguez who is a real (and kind of awesome) director known for stuff like From Dusk Till Dawn, Spy Kids, Machete, Sin City, and Planet Terror. I genuinely like a lot of his work but its pretty over the top, over campy, silly, fun so I think that gives us a sense of how those first three Stab movies feel.
We also know that Stab 8 was directed by Rian Johnson, director of Knives Out, Glass Onion, and the TV show Poker Face- all stuff that can have a bit of a lighter tone, not devoid of camp, but generally movies that take themselves a little more seriously. To illustrate the difference between these guys I could imagine Rian Johnson actually directing a modern Scream movie, but I can't really see Robert Rodriguez doing the same. This is far from an insult to Robert Rodriguez by the way, I just think his style is better suited to other stuff. So I think probably the later Stab movies feel a bit more like the Scream movies, while the earlier ones exist in a different media space.
To recap, based on what we see in the Scream movies, Stab is a bit cheesy and trashy, pretty campy, but they do ultimately develop an audience later on. So far, this sounds like something Stu would be into tbh, I think he likes the silly stuff as much as the really fucked up stuff, and the fact that its based on his own story would be hilarious to him. Like he would find it so fucking funny that they inserted a random shower scene in for Casey, and he would find his own portrayal by Vince Vaughn to be hilarious.
Billy is another story. I do think that Billy can enjoy a sillier slasher, especially if it has other stuff going for it (eg. gore, creative kills ect, insane body horror), but he can't buy in to the same amount of ridiculousness as Stu can. Beyond that there's the fact that the Stab movies are a bastardization of his story, like Billy already considers the massacre his movie, so the Stab movies are a bad remake to him. I think especially the idea that his killings aren't being taken seriously would aggravate him.
And then there's the fact that he's played by Luke Wilson. And like. Listen. I don't have anything against Luke Wilson, I know very little about him but I know Billy Wouldn't be happy about this:
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Honestly I don't know who they could have cast as Billy that wouldn't have pissed him off. I think that as much as he would want the notoriety of his story being adapted into a movie, he would functionally enjoy being portrayed by someone else.
In the context of my writing, where he and Stu survive this is especially true because the Stab movies in Debaserverse will have Billy and Stu as final boys. Realistically this means they'll be shoved into tropey archetypes, a number of which Billy would hate for himself.
Stab is absolutely going to come into play in WoM by the way! I won't go into much detail about that right now but let it be known. There will be Stab.
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demonictumble · 3 months
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fic rec list (1/??? )
this is a fic recommendation list for whomever wants a good read. All of these are on AO3. I have not provided links, so just search them up!
If you do end up reading any of these, or really any fic in general, remember to leave the author comments!! They deserve them, esp because they do this for free and they deserve to know how beautiful their writing is and how appreciated they are.
My PSA: COMMENT ON FICS AND DONT TAKE AUTHORS FOR GRANTED
DC..
IMPORTANT NOTE I am not a religious fan where I only like a fic when it adheres to canon characterization or texts. I can enjoy fics even when they completely throw off what's actually canon and that's okay for me, but it might not be for you. So just keep this in mind and the back button exists for a reason if you don't like something.
Buy Back the Secrets by Sundiscus (incomplete)
Tim Drake and Kon El centered!! OH MY GODS. I could rave on and on about this fic all day but I'll have to keep it brief. I've reread at LEAST 5 times. It's brilliant. The writing, the plot, the characterizations!! They are incredible. If I had to use a phrase to describe it, it would be "identity shenanigans and timkon" but that simplifies the absolute masterpiece that it is SO MUCH
Executive Assistant to the Batman by heartslogos (complete)
Tim is basically Bruce Wayne's assistant and is desperately trying to avoid letting them know that he knows. This is complete crack, but it is hilarious. The writing is so funny and It's what I need after a bad day or anything tbh. It may not be completely true to characters or whatever, but it makes up for it a thousand times over in spirit and the laughs it's produced from me.
anything (not the title because literally ANYTHING) by IzzyMRDB
I can rave about them all day because the dc/batfam fics I have seen them right are all so delicious and I devoured them far too fast and momggg its just so good. and I love their writing style <3
Reverse Robin AU by yellow_cabellero (complete)
I CANNOT DO THIS SERIES JUSTICE WITH MY WORDS. IT is a must read for me. The writer writes spectacularly and the characterization, even though its a reverse robin, feels on point, especially considering the circumstances (Im a huge believer in circumstances shape a person's personality, which is what I think occurs beautifully in all of these fics). They're just so GOOD.
Also this author has a STEPH FIC that is stunning. 10/10. Steph is a character that doesn't get the appreciation she deserves, so this fic was especially more touching for me. It was terrific seeing her girl bossing in the 90s (IT ALSO FELT SO PERIOD ACCURATE CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT). Not to mention, the author shows off character flaws in a believable manner and nobody is a Mary Sue and it's just EVERYUTHING IS JUST *chefs kiss* by them.
The Fishbowl by LordLuxury (complete)
This is Dick Grayson centered. THEY HAVE MADE A MASTERPIECE. I genuinely mean it. Dick is constantly trying to pull the family together, he is trying to be the glue as everything tries to go the opposite. LET THIS MAN HAVE HIS FAMILY. This had me in shambles. Bad Dad Bruce hurt me, but it was just so realistic. That's what gets me. The whole dynamics portrayed in The Fishbowl are so goddamn realistic and it feels so real. Everyone is flawed in their own way and its just... PLEASE READ IT I BEG OF YOU.
Love and Bruises by Acin_Grayson and Hoebiwan (complete)
Despite what the title may suggest, this is actually funny! Jason thinks Batman is abusing Bruce. And I just remember dying of laughter as I read this. Terrific! Would read and Will read again
Marvel (I am a movies fan so most if not all fics I recommend from here on out will be probably based on movies!)
Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man and Friends by ciaconna
GREAT FIC. Harley (potato gun kid in one of the iron man movies for those who don't remember) gets an internship with Tony stark for college application reasons and its to help Spiderman. Peter Parker and Harley whateverhislastname is such a funny duo and they made the fic spectacular. Terrific writing omg.
Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights
I THINK THIS FIC HURT ME. I don't really remember much bc its been a year and a half, but I think my emotions remember because I feel mildly sad when I think about it. Peter is on the raft and bonds with the ex-avengers also on the raft. The premise of a teenager possibly spending the rest of his life in prison is terrible, but I swear this fic has funny moments and the conversations that occur are to die for because the WRITING. WHEW.
O Brother, Where Art Thou? by theskeptileptic
Tony survives and it's set after No Way Home. Where I'm pretty sure the only people dead are May and Pepper. Morgan saves the day by remembering her big brother (Im a sucker for big brother Peter arc). Peter is kind of a mini Tony in this one I think, which is such an interesting take. And it's such a coming home story and its just so beautiful.
Cross Overs:
Even Heroes Have the Right To Dream by Bounemr (complete)
mlb/dc crossover!! where marinate and Jon are retired superhero and go to college together! Great writing and plot with a good ending. Fluffy for the most part as far I as I can remember (it's been a year since I've read it so you know it's good if I can still remember)
Hired Hands by neighborhood_yogurt (incomplete)
Percy Jackson/ DC crossover!! It's been a while since I've read this one too but It's stuck with me. It's hilarious and I need to reread it but Percy is accidentally on Penguin's payroll because he's just a dumb blonde at heart, but it's okay we all love him. And Shenanigans occur. I don't remember exactly what happens so reminder to read this again for myself as well!
(IDK if any of these authors have tumblrs, if they do, someone please tag them and I will forever be in your debt)
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kaycynyrs · 3 months
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Let's talk about Christopher Diaz in fanfic
I want to preface this by saying I'm pretty new to the fandom. I joined a few months or so before season 7 started dropping. So I'm probably not the best source for information when it comes to the show, but I definitely wanted to throw my hat into the ring. I'm aware that Chris is aging during the course of the show, and that he was much younger when he was first introduced, but it seems to me that a lot of fanfic writers and/or people in this fandom kinda struggle to realistically write and/or portray accurate representation of a preteen/early teenager as Chris is now.
I have absolutely no idea if maybe it's some kinda weird way of seemingly (kinda horribly) trying to portray disability, or maybe people in the 911 fandom just do not spend time around pre-teens, but as someone who does spend a lot of time with a pre-teen (specifically my 12 y/o brother) I definitely figured I could give some insight into this topic.
Now I do want to clarify before I begin, that in no way shape or form am I talking about the disabled portion of Chris' experience. I don't have the knowledge or firsthand experience or anything like that to even begin to try and be a voice on that topic, and if anyone else could give insight into that portion of Chris' experience, I welcome it gladly. Especially because it's an integral part of him and introduces some experiences that other pre-teens won't have to deal with which can change how Chris reacts/deals with situations.
What I can accurately talk about though is the things I've noticed in my brother as he goes through this phase of his life. I can also compare his experiences to what I remember from when I was his age, and I'm noticing he's going through certain things that I went through too. I know everyone is different, but hopefully this insight can help some people begin to understand Chris as he is now.
Now, on top of all the slow but noticeable bodily changes, these little sass masters are emotionally volatile. As in, the littlest things seem to be the end of the world. Especially if he's (my brother) is overtired. He tends to have tunnel vision, and he wants things to go his way. If it doesn't immediately go as planned, he tends to get very very frustrated. When that happens, he tends to blow up then go into his room until he's calmed down. After he's calm, then productive conversation can happen.
Kids Chris' age also tend to enjoy video games (like Roblox, or console games) more than they do coloring or legos or any physical toy. Not saying my brother has stopped playing with them all together, but it's definitely slowed down. If he were to play with legos, it'd more likely be a complicated lego set. Or complicated arts and crafts. His most recent projects being origami swords and origami paper dragons. Like, please don't forget that Chris is a good artist and is capable of drawing accurate human hearts.
I've also noticed that kids will go through a collecting phase. They'll collect anything and everything and it'll be the weirdest shit you could never predict. My brother when he was a bit younger literally stole every single sock in the house for his "sock collection" and stuffed an entire drawer full of them. Now he's moved on to collecting golf balls.
And, whether we like it or not, these kids are on the internet. My brother at least is very very influenced by online trends. Half the things he's interested in he saw on social media first. But that means that these kids have a rich meme culture. They have their own in jokes and concepts, same as we did growing up. And sure, some of the jokes are the same. I mean heck, my brother won't shut up with the "your mom" jokes, but they also have things like skibbidy toilet, chippi chippi choppa choppa, and other memes. (I have a list of current tween memes in my notes, but that can be a separate post if people truly want it)
Like it's such a missed funny opportunity! To have Chris reference current memes or current sayings like "gyot, what the sigma, and womp womp," and just having every single adult within the immediate vicinity be confused as fuck, and of course the kids won't explain, because why would they. It's funny to them that the adults are confused. Which also pairs with the amount of sass contained in their tiny orifices. Their come backs are insane and not to be trifled with. My brother has burned me so many times and so well that for all intents and purposes I should be a pile of ash on floor, honestly and truly.
Now, when it comes to romance, I have no idea when that changes. I think Chris is around 14 in the most recent season? And he's gone through a little heartbreaker phase, but currently, my brother at 12 is absolutely disgusted by romance. I myself am demisexual so I'm not a good reference for that, and can't really comment on when people start feeling attraction for others. But considering it's being portrayed in the show, I think it could be something to lean into as well.
All of this to say, Chris won't be this picture perfect baby all of the time. He'll get angry, frustrated, sad. Give people the silent treatment. He'll be weird and strange and say stupid shit. He'll also probably occasionally get confused over certain sayings he's never heard before. (E.g similes commonly used in writing) He'll try to get out of chores, and homework, and he'll whine and complain. His body is changing, he's probably experiencing growing pains, and he's probably starting to discover more adult things. But he'll also have his moments of insightfulness and humor. He's a little adult! And he should be allowed to be portrayed that way! Let Chris be a multidimensional character! It's what he deserves! And just to make it clear, this goes for every pre-teen on 911. I've just noticed the infantilisation of Chris a lot more than say Denny.
Please let me know your thoughts on this matter! I'd love to hear them! Have a wonderful day!
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i-am-focused · 1 year
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KÖNIG (NSFW Alphabet)
A/N: aaaaa sorry I've been gone for so long this was not intended!! I've just been busy and I'm starting a new job soon. I'll be posting some more stuff soon as I get my thoughts out onto paper, expect some soapghost.
Warning: this should be obvious from the title but 18+ ONLY. This is literally just a guideline for the smut I will be writing about him. NOT PROOFREAD (i wrote this at midnight).
ANYWAY, here we go.
Enjoy :)
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
He loves it. He is very large (in all ways) and he worries about hurting you so he will thank you and praise you for taking him well and making him happy. He will also probably apologize instinctually because of his paranoia about hurting you. 
B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He’s struggled a lot with insecurities about his own body but he really likes his back and he especially likes feeling you claw at it or leave marks on it in general. He is 100% a thigh man. He loves people who have a bit of meat on their bones and would absolutely love being suffocated between someone's thighs while he’s eating them out. 
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He can cum multiple times, and often does, and he loves to eat you out after he has come in you because he likes to taste your release mixing with his. 
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He wants you to hold a gun to his head while you make him do things to himself and to you. He has grown accustomed to the threat of death and as much as it is anxiety inducing he also does his best work under pressure, and he thinks you would look really hot holding any of his weapons. 
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Honestly, he gets no bitches. I mean bitches want him, but he is scared of bitches. Essentially in order to get him to engage with you you have to slam him into a wall and make him look into your eyes. He is socially anxious and oblivious (and realistically he’s probably a virgin or close to that, but for the sake of this alphabet we’re ignoring that).
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
He loves it when you’re on top in any way shape or form. He likes to look up at you, it is the only time he feels small and it really turns him on when someone else is in power. He loves it when you’re riding him, especially if he’s tied up and cannot do anything to stop you. Most of the time he is more submissive, but on the rare occasion he takes control, I’d say he would like to have you against the wall. No reasoning really, just vibes. 
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
I wouldn’t say serious, it’s more that he is so bewildered at what is happening he can’t even form the thought of a joke in his mind. He is just so fucked out of his mind that he cannot think of anything funny or even laugh at what is happening to him. 
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He is somewhat well groomed just for his own comfort but he is not shaved, it's maintained short but he has a significant happy trail. The carpets do match the drapes and the drapes are dark brown. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 
He struggles to get into the rhythm of intimacy but once he's in, he really desperately wants to please you and so he takes very good care of you and will do anything you ask him and more to make you happy. He is also in love with you the second you don't hate him so he will be anxious but he will kiss you until he forgets how to speak. 
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) 
He is VERY loud. This means that he often can’t find time or place to do this while he is working or on a mission (not that he would be that irresponsible anyway…) this means that when he comes back he is pent up. Before he met you he would just take the whole next day to spend purely getting off, thinking of every possible way to make himself cum. Sort of a reward for still being alive. Now that you’re here he doesn't do that as much anymore but he loves to jerk off under your instruction, while you’re watching, while he's watching you, etc.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
He loves to be edged and then overstimulated beyond belief. He just wants to be tortured. He likes things to start off fast, then he gets edged, and by the end doesn’t even want to be able to form the words “Please stop”. On the rare occasion that he is more dominant he loves to do no penetration at all (dry humping) or clothed sex. It’s partially out of habit because usually when he gets out of a mission he doesn't even take the time to take off his clothes before he’s all over you. 
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Secluded locations are his preference because he is extremely anxious but if it is a secluded enough location in public he might be cool with it, or as cool as he can be with you. He would never initiate in public but he also finds it extremely difficult to turn you down. 
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He is an absolute fiend for degradation/praise. He loves backhanded compliments like “You're so good for me, it's pathetic.” It’s what he thinks about when he gets himself off. But nearly anything you say can turn him on if it is in the right tone (and if he picks up on it) he also likes it anytime you take control. 
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He would NEVER hit you. He would also never do knife play/blood play with you unless he was the one it was used on. He does not want to cause you any harm and he would be sick to his stomach if you asked him to hit you for fun and he went too far. He is extremely afraid of his own strength, it is not because he thinks you’re weak. 
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
This guy will whimper like a mother fucker the second you take him in your mouth. If you ever did cockwarming he wouldn’t last. He absolutely loves it when you take him down your throat and toy with his cock but he loves it equally when you pull his hair and tell him how good he’s being while he eats you out. He loves both and he couldn’t live with one without the other, he's also very good but he will get you absolutely drenched with his mouth so if you don’t like it wet, he’s not for you. 
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) 
It really depends on the situation. Most of his kinks and turn ons involve foreplay and after-orgasm activity so he likes to get through it fast and rough sometimes to get to the fun part (even that takes time though because foreplay is essential with his size). However… he loves to take it slow, drawing it out is also one of his favorite things to do, or for you to do to him, and he cannot get enough of it. 
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Extremely rare and he isn't a huge fan. If he's on top it's possible because usually that's when he is full of heated emotions, but he doesn’t enjoy it as much when he’s fast and neither of you are able to get worked up fully. Intimacy is already difficult for him so he likely shies away from this. 
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He is willing to try just about anything you want to do to him, as long as he's in the comfort of his own home or another safe location where he feels comfortable. He can be a little hesitant to try things on you because he’s already afraid of hurting you but he loves it when you experiment on him. 
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
As long as you want. Simple as that. He loves to be overstimulated so he will stick around as long as you want. He lasts longer the more often he fucks you, so first day back from a mission might be 10 minutes or less before his first orgasm, but on a normal day without any extenuating circumstances he can probably last a long time. Especially if you ask him to. 
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He has a bullet vibrator actually, he uses it to edge himself and he usually like to hold it against the bottom of his tip until his cock turns purple from the stimulation (seriously he loves overstim) he has used this on a couple of partners but most of the time he just likes it when they use it on him. Also has a cockring to help him draw things out longer. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He doesn’t tease at all usually, he wants you too bad. But he loves it when you tease him. The only time he does tease you is when you give him a big enough ego boost that he takes over the power position. 
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He is loud as fuck. He has been gagged by a partner before and sometimes gags himself to make himself keep it down. He whimpers, moans, groans, grunts, everything. He also begs a lot, pleading in both English and German. He cannot shut the fuck up, he breathes heavy too, he cannot be quiet, unless gagged or you choke him and he can’t breath. 
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
His eyes roll back when he cums. His orgasms in general are somewhat dramatic, there's always him rolling his eyes back, gripping you, thrusting into the air or you etc. but his facial expression is memorable and desperate. 
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) 
He is long. Girthy for any normal cock but on him it doesn’t look like hes super thick relative to his length. He could hit you in spots you couldn’t reach- and he will. Though it is still very visible even with pants and clothes on, he is a grower. 
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He kind of kills his sex drive purposefully after that first day back from a mission, but he will fuck whenever you want, he just won’t ask you to. But he does jerk off (or at least just cum in general) daily. 
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 
He passes the fuck out, he does aftercare but then immediately passes out, often on top of you which can be very inconvenient because of his size, but you dont mind it. All of the overstimulation and edging takes a lot out of him and it's really hard for him to not fall asleep after he comes down from his high, especially when he has a nice pillow like your thighs to sleep on.
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namig42 · 2 months
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Was chatting with my lovely mutual @mortalasystem about my Wyllstarion fic Just One Yesterday and some of the inspo that got me started on it, and I thought why not share those things with people who might be looking for good recs? With that, here are some of the biggest inspirations for my super involved story!
Friday Nights by @sadinasaphrite
So the first and probably most prominent inspiration for a modern au is this wonderful Bloodweave fic called Friday Nights over on ao3. I really loved the chemistry between Gale and Astarion in this one, and Gale's perspective was very interesting, especially with the mix of magic still in this au. Wonderfully written, very considerate of Astarion's circumstances as a sex worker, and a happy ending to wrap it all up nicely!
Read it on Ao3
Sex worker/Charity worker Halstarion AU by @malacandrax
This comic has nine parts as of now that are all little snippets of Halsin being a concerned social worker and Astarion as a sex worker in a 70s/80s UK setting. OP really took a lot of consideration writing this one and portraying realistic steps that someone in Astarion's situation could take, and I love how they really captured both characters so well. The progression between the Astarion and Halsin is really nicely done, even in such small snippets. 11/10, definitely recommend.
Link to Part 1 here
Perfect Slaughter by @imagineitdearies
This is a Tavstarion fic that honestly captivated me so much from beginning to end. It's a long form fic that is incredibly compelling and is an alternate au prequel to the events of BG3. Tyrus, the protagonist, is a very compelling original character, and his relationship with Astarion in the hell that is Cazador's palace was so well crafted. This was the story that had me wanting to explore more relationships with Astarion in my own writing, focus on dark topics and give them the respect they deserve such as trauma, abuse, and torture, and try my own hand at writing something long form. It's gotten a great deal of praise, all of which is well deserved, and I cannot recommend it enough.
Read it on Ao3
The funny thing about my Wyllstarion thing was that there was actually very little Wyllstarion inspiration. I saw some good art here and there on tumblr, but not very much at the time. My dash was mostly bloodweave if anything. Still, there was just enough of an inkling in my head of Wyll and Astarion, and then a dumbass idea came to me one day.
I wrote it in the first chapter's notes on Ao3, but the thing that kicked this multi chapter obsession into gear was...
Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy
A song off a ten year old album. That's what did it. Specifically the lyrics:
Anything you say can and will be held against you,
So only say my name. It will be held against you.
Those two lines had my brain swimming with a one-shot smut fic of a police officer Wyll and a sex worker Astarion, but a one shot wasn't enough for the romantic that is Wyll. I couldn't write him having a first meeting kind of fling. I wrote out the original one shot idea, let it sit for a couple months, and then suddenly, something clicked in my brain and the whole thing took off from there.
Still, without this lyric, the story wouldn't exist at all. Honestly, going back and listening to the whole song after everything I've written so far, I think it's a fitting title and song in its own way. Highly recommend giving it a listen if you aren't familiar!
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That's all the big ones. If other things come to mind that I missed, I'll reblog this and add onto it. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking these things out and showing the artists some love! Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you found something new to enjoy!
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facewithoutheart · 2 months
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Ten Questions for Writers
Thanks for the tags @shrekgogurt, @artsyunderstudy, @youarenevertooold, & @roomwithanopenfire I’m enjoying all this navel-gazing a whole bunch actually & I’ve done this before but it’s been awhile… sooo
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 169 (niiiice)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? ~950k (yikes) although some of that is Birthday Man and collabs with people from WIP fest. Don’t ask me to do the math tho; that’s mean.
3. What fandoms do you write for? I’ve written for HP, Check Please, and RWRB although right now I’m mostly a CO writer with a toe dipping into 9-1-1. I have one Captain America fic posted and some WIPs I don’t know if I’ll finish. Nobody look at that AFTG fic; it’s pure crack.
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Whoo boy do I have thoughts here. I want to be the kind of writer who replies to comments and I harbor so much guilt that I’m not; I know I miss out on opportunities to connect with readers, and I genuinely appreciate comments so much; I hoard them in my inbox like a greedy lil affirmation dragon. I write to engage and connect. So, like, I know I should but at the same time I hate forcing interactions. I like them to spawn organically. I keep my circle small because I get really emotionally overwhelmed and then I feel guilty when I can’t give people what they deserve. And I’ve also never been comfortable with compliments or gratitude, I don’t trust them. So here’s a bulk of emotional trauma no one asked for to say: I don’t reply to comments as often as I feel I should and I’m trying to release the guilt I feel about this while also recognizing that not commenting probably has a direct negative affect on my ability to meet my goal of connecting through writing and at the same time my mental health probably couldn’t withstand the pressure I would need to place on it to get to where I’m replying to comments regularly. Hi I’m a mess who’s trying to love herself and often falls short of that goal; aren’t we all?
5. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No.
6. Have you ever co-written a fic before? So many actually! I didn’t think I’d ever get to a place where I trust someone else to the level this would take but I’ve been really lucky to work with some amazing writers even if not all of those works went anywhere. I actually don’t even think I could realistically tag all the people I’ve collabed with bc I’m afraid I’ll miss someone and isn’t that amazing? Personal growth; we love to see her.
7. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Oh man. I want to just be lame and say it’s me and Mr. Face 🤣 I shipped us when no one else did. Um! Snowbaz is always going to have a special place in my heart, but I’m really leaning into Buddie right now because of age and wanting to explore people in their 30’s still figuring out their lives while battling PTSD and late-in-life sexuality realizations. For, um. Reasons.
8. What are your writing strengths? I do like my dialogue a lot; dialogue is often where I start my scenes and I develop from there. I think I’ve done a good job of honing my ability to vary action/dialogue/internality a lot. I also think I keep people engaged or maybe I just keep myself engaged which is good enough for me. Sometimes I’m funny although sadly not as much recently.
9. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with remembering to add in physical descriptors. (Like oh shit have I ever mentioned this character has eyes?) Logistics are a frequent source of pain. (Wait, where were their hands?) I think my plots are kind of basic and boring; I don’t come up with really vivid and detailed concepts. I use the wrong words for things. I really hate detailing out backstory. I have to reread my fics a million times to maintain character consistency. Etc.
10. First fandom you wrote for? Hey Arnold. I wish I could find those fics; I bet they suck.
Tagging 10 peeps @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thewholelemon @palimpsessed @aristocratic-otter & @you-remind-me-of-the-babe
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punch-love · 21 days
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Hello!! I’m in your inbox because I want to ask of what advice you may give in writing a heated argument that sounds realistic and genuine instead of cheesy/ shallow?
I think your fic love-punch has some really amazing lines of dialogue where the two character are able to fit both a genuine hostility for each other as well as hilarious banter, and the combination of the two is just so potent and rich with character dynamics?? (Also acquired taste with the back and forth of deadpools intimidation and Peter trying to maintain his composure with deflection and jokes)
Just wanted to pick your brain on how you come up with those kind of lines since I’m always struggling with imagining good dialogue for characters
Sorry if this was confusing to read I wrote it pretty late into the night
I've been thinking on this and I think my biggest advice is make it personal. I think what makes a combative conversation sound shallow or cheesy is when the dialogue is so nondescript that you could swap out any number of characters without the audience noticing. If you think back to a fight you enjoyed on-screen, can you remember what the characters were saying? Why?
If you can, it's probably because what they were saying was personal enough to give you something of a reaction. Think of a couple fighting in public, there's a pretty typical script that couples go off of ("you're always late! you never pay attention to me! you never compliment me!") that we kind of treat as background noise, but when it gets personal (re: interesting) that's when our nosy nature catches attention. He did WHAT? She said WHAT?
When it gets personal, when it gets outrageous, when it gets genuinely fucked - that's when we lock in. Your dialogue should reflect that. When you read something, you're essentially a fly on a conceptual wall. Your job as a writer is to keep the fly in place, enraptured by the view. What would make someone stay to listen to your fictional argument?
It's also important to consider the characters and how they deal with high-stress, high-risk situations. Are they funny? Are they defensive? Do they try to psyche their opponent out? Do they get more or less talkative depending on whether they're winning/losing? Then, profile the person they're fighting and figure out where they're similar and (this is the most important part) where they're different. I like to approach dialogue as a sparring match. The opponents aren't always evenly matched, but they usually have very different approaches to the fight and when they play dirty, things get more interesting.
Also, to be transparent, I think a good sense of humor and wit helps a lot. It's important to understand tone, delivery, and most importantly - the audience. If you're not someone who tries to make people laugh , then observe people who do. If there's someone in your life you find really funny, take a second to figure out why. Is it the emphasis? The way they're able to turn anything into a joke? Humor is an intellectual practice, it takes some degree of smarts to be actually funny. If you are someone who likes to make people laugh, then consider your process and figure out how you can translate that into writing.
I think to sum up: think about what grabs your attention and capitalize on it, make the fight personal enough that you couldn't swap the dialogue out and have it be between two entirely different characters with little to no difference. Understand what makes you funny (or the funniest person you know funny) and figure out the patterns. Understand the characters approach to conflict and how it's similar and how it clashes, and capitalize on the clash.
Ultimately, when it comes to writing dialogue, I don't actually don't think too hard about it when I'm doing the actual writing. I think about it a lot during the editing process, though. If it doesn't make laugh or drive my attention, I will re-work it until it does. Don't be afraid to work at something until it clicks.
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