#it's so bad i am allowing myself to think about it like a normal person

[dylanlila]

one cool life thing is how it will send you a person who is not even remotely close to your usual type and you'll be like woahhh how do i like you better than any of the guys that supposedly did fit the description

[g0thsoojin]

📓🦇

[princessmyriad]

.

[merrinla]

Portrait spamming

Recent discovery. If you click on the portraits of the characters like crazy, they will react to it. And the developers had a lot of fun coding these reactions xD

Tav / Dark Urge

normal - I'm awake! Mostly. - I'm starting to get a headache. - Must be the tadpole. - Quit knocking around in there! - A thousand needlepricks in my rotten skull.

combat -Ahhhhhhhh! Okay, I feel better. - I have an itch in the worst place. - Is being a mind flayer so bad? - Just waiting to venture forth here. - I'm maiming as fast as I can!

stealth - What's that ticking? - Is it me? Am I ticking? - Bomb in my head about to go off. Great. - Ah, well. I had a good run.

Astarion

normal - Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities. - Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit. - More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny. - Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?

combat: - I'm trying to focus on murder. - *Humming.* - I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die. - I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.

stealth - Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts. - Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. - Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots. - I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.

Karlach

normal - NOTE TO ACTOR/DIRECTOR: Blow a raspberry at the player. - Don't. Poke. The Karlach. - Who am I? - My eye!

combat - Eyes on the prize - we need to win this! - Not every soldier should've made it out of training. - Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner. - I ought to just burn this whole thing down.

stealth - My back can't take much more of this. - Not now, I'm being a sneak! - I'm getting too old for this nonsense. - I'm not built to crouch.

Gale

normal - I hope Halaster takes good care of Tara while I'm away. - Sembian wine; Cormyrian boar; Waterdhavian conversation. It's the little things you miss while on the road. - Oh, what a tangled Weave we web! - All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.

combat - Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails. - Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you. - Get. Out. Of. My. Head. - I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.

stealth - You made me hide, don't make me come seek you. - Gods, it's like trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room. - A little privacy please. - Stop it - that tickles.

Wyll

normal - Could do for a brew. - Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'. - Ever get the sense that someone's watching? - So two halflings walk under a bar...

combat - Can't hear myself think! - Wear your scars proudly. - As my father once told me: 'Can we get on with it?' - I find moderation is key.

stealth - Bad time for an itch. - Could do for a brew. - So two halflings walk under a bar... - Shush. No, really. Shush.

Lae'zel

normal - Must everyone be so exhausting? - Weapons high. Standards higher. - Is perfection too much to ask? - Pride is a virtue.

combat - I will know my queen! - There is no right or wrong, only truth. - What is the point, if not victory? - You are right to fear me.

stealth - Hush already. - There is no wisdom in madness. - Is perfection too much to ask? - There is but one way. Vlaakith.

Shadowheart

all modes - I wonder how I'll feel when I remember everything. - Strange. I've had more freedom this past while than my whole life... - Have to keep focused. Can't afford to get attached - to anyone. - If I succeed, maybe I'll be allowed a pet... ugh, stop being silly.

Halsin / his voice is currently bugged :(

normal - What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb... - Such attention... I never realised I was so popular. - Are you feeling lonely, perhaps? - Unwise, perhaps, to poke a bear this much...

сombat - Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe. - Perhaps try attacking the enemy? - Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities. - You are insistent, are you not?

stealth - Most consider it unwise to poke a bear. - My, you are eager, are you not? - Please. I am trying to be stealthy. - Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.

Jaheira

normal - Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too. - I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want. - My, such strong wrists. - Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you? - Please go poke the ranger instead.

combat - You have my attention - now do something with it. - What? What do you want!? - Do you know, I begin to wish they had never brought me back. - Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.

stealth - Dry those sweaty palms and let us try this again, shall we? - Argh, my knees! Oh. It was a twig. - Would that I could hide from you, too. - Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.

Minsc

normal - ARGH! My EYE, Boo! They went for my EYE! - Know that if you poke Boo, no higher dimension will keep you safe! - Heehee. Heeheeheehee. - Well, Boo? How do you want to do this?

сombat - Are you perchance a squeaky wheel in need of a kick? - I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness. - I begin to grow annoyed. It is well for you that Boo does not let me learn the bad words! - Ignore them, Boo. Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.

stealth - A little to the left? But not so hard you make me giggle. - Boo...? Are you dancing down there, or...? - Hush! I am surprising Boo for his birthday! He is... uh... eh... how old do hamsters get...? - I am the night. A pity, then, that it is so bright out.

Minthara

all modes - You had my attention, now you have my fury. - Phlar Lolth ssinssrickla. - Your suffering will be spectacular. - Stop, or die.

[furiousgoldfish]

I have this reoccurring problem where I feel like I've found a friend in someone, and then some time later, this person does something to hurt me, and rather than apologizing, they snap at me, act like I'm awful and a nuisance to them, and generally get very angry with me. First it makes me feel guilty, and I go over everything I did to see how I deserved this, but then I realize I didn't do anything, they just hurt me and snapped at me, made me feel like it's my fault. And then I get scared that this person could do that, because I can't even imagine doing that to anyone, it's so deeply unethical and shitty, but people do it like it's their second nature. Once I realize that this person scares me, I know I have to get distance and move away from the friendship if I don't want to live a very anxious and triggering life, so I do that. And thus I have no friends anymore.

Now for me, this occurred easily over 30 or 40 times with different people, to the point where I've started to wonder if I maybe draw this behaviour out of them. Because I will usually pick people who I believe would never do that, who seem to be kind, understanding, gentle, funny, easy going, I go for that almost every time, and still they snap at me. I'm wondering if it's because everyone in their mind thinks there's one person somewhere they're allowed to snap at, and since I'm very mild tempered, easy going and understanding, it feels to them like snapping at me couldn’t possibly have any consequences?  Again, I don't understand this, I would rather never snap at any person in my life.

My problem is that sometimes, I end up very bonded to these people, and I start building hope that maybe I could be normal, have friends, function in society, just because it feels for a bit like I'm accepted, I'm allowed to socialize and chat and joke around and tell things to someone, and this means the world to me. I've lived in an environment where I was not allowed any of that. So when these specific people snap at me, my hopes crumble to the ground, and I'm back into the place where I don't feel like I'm a person anymore. Even worse, I get triggered back into my childhood, where my parents screamed at me telling me how disgusting I am, how nobody will ever want anything to do with me, and how I'm the worst thing to ever exist on the planet. That's how I end up feeling when anyone turns against me, or abandons me. I keep it to myself, because I don't want the triggers affecting the friendship. But they affect me deeply.

That feeling of someone I care about finding me disgusting and awful and poisonous gives me so much pain I want to curl up and disappear. I want to not exist anymore. I would rather be alone forever than experience more of that. And that's exactly what I do; I curl up in my own little corner and don't socialize out of terror that more of this will happen, because it does happen so often and I still never see it coming.

I know on some deeply logical level, that people are snapping at me because it's easier for them to do that than to face that they've done something wrong, that they've hurt our friendships and acted badly towards me; they need it to be my fault so they'd feel better about themselves. Taking it out on me is just an easy route because I have zero vindication in me and probably won't ever snap back or get angry in return; I'll just withdraw. I'm always too worried I've genuinely done something wrong when it happens, I'll apologize a thousand times, I'll spend a while trying to figure out what's the truth, and then before I even think about getting angry, I'll be swallowed by pain and sorrow that this happened to me again.

Has anyone found any ways to have people not snap at you when they hurt you? What kind of change in attitude would achieve this? Do I just have bad friend-picking skills? Is this just a normal part of life that other people can handle because being snapped on doesn't make them suicidal? Is it considered normal that your friend will sometimes snap at you when they hurt you? Is it not a glaring red flag? In some cases people will not only snap but also gaslight me about what happened, and I know gaslighting is way over the line. Has this been happening to others? Please give me any opinions or experiences of this, especially if you found a way to deal with it.

[fudgelling-away]

Dating Start!

The visual novel fan game.

I watched the gameplay on YouTube.

All possible choices...

The writing under the cut starts with exclamations of my distress, and ends with a coherent commentary on how experiencing such virtual scenarios can benefit the player.

I don't think there are spoilers... Other than the fact that you can go multiple ways through the game.

The genocide route plus the attempted pacifist route afterwards.

HORRIBLE.

OMG.

And when you try to do the pacifist route again? Did you see how it ends?

MY GOD, NO. No. no. no no no.

What a sickening turn of events. This is... Ugh, I am nauseaus even thinking back to it.

No. No.

Ewwww noooo what the f-

I have been upset for DAYS after watching it. And the pictures and the dialogue is still burned into my mind.

TERRIFYING.

DISGUSTING.

EVIL.

Congratulations to the creators - and I mean it.

That is... so well made. Just... perfect punch after punch after punch to your heart. The creators ripped me apart into pieces.

Great job - again, not ironically.

That is a very, very well made game.

They knew exactly what to do to make it as painful as possible. To get all tears out of the player and to traumatize them for some time.

It's not brutal or cruel in a mindless way, no. No, no. It's way more intelligent than that. It creates such a horrific scenario, paired with the horrific pictures, that I don't think I'll ever forget it. And I only saw a YouTube video.

In comparison to Dating Start!, the normal UT Sans fight is like a happy picnic in the park.

"But it's just a game, aren't you overreacting?", you could ask. Well, no. I am enjoying artwork like pictures, movies, games to get immersed into it and experience it all. If I keep my shield up and do not allow myself to feel what the characters are feeling... then what's the point?

What's the point of even approaching art if I refuse to feel any of it?

So Dating Start! is obviously a game, but if you imagine it being a reality, imagine yourself holding that knife, it gets so painful that I want to wail and scream my lungs out.

That being said, I appreciate artists who create these kinds of difficult works so much.

I believe we choose a variety of art for ourselves because we need different stimuli. If our life was 100% fluff, we'd drown in it and become numb.

So we consume angst, tragedies, horror and other unpleasant works.

We consider those scenarios.

We think of the possible choices.

We come to terms with our worldview, or challenge it.

We grow.

We process those real emotions and learn so many things about ourselves and problem solving.

We keep developing our sense of conscience.

--------

And, to sum up I will say something to make sure I am understood correctly:

Let people explore all sides of humanity within the safety of their fantasies.

It is NOT possible to judge a person by what they create and what art they enjoy. Human mind is not black and white.

Choosing to perceive it like that: "violent art = violent person" is INCREDIBLY IMMATURE. Ridiculously childlish and small-minded.

So I am absolutely NOT judging anyone who for one reason or another enjoys doing the genocide routes in games. I enjoy to be the "bad guy" in games as well.

No judgement from my side. That should be... obvious, but I think it's not, so I am making sure to include that in my post.

[kaemixx0]

I'm bored so why not some tips that have helped me (:

☆ The motivation is strong, but the discipline is more; You have to resist even if you don't want to. Search thinsp0, look in the mirror, think about the progress you've made!

☆ At first it may sound difficult, but once you fall in love with the feeling of being hungry, of being tired, of feeling like you haven't eaten enough, everything gets better, as I said, it's about discipline more than motivation.

☆ Drink a lot of water; that helps me a lot with the craving, feel full and just for distraction. Although I don't know how healthy I am in this regard, I usually drink more than two liters a day :)

☆ Don't forget your goals. Every time you feel hungry, think about all the previous times you have felt it and that didn't mean you ate, you have to be in control, it is your decision.

☆ I don't know how good this is, but I know it's horrible that you like sweets so much and can't eat them because you're ⭐️ving. Resist as long as you can, but if you really crave it, you should eat a small amount, enjoy it, and forget about it. Once in a long time of effort will not be bad, is much better than the frustration make u binge.

Personally, there is always one day a week when I usually eat more than my limit because family gatherings, I have to eat enough so they don't worry, so you too and could take it as a meta day –I have read that it helps maintain in control of your metabolism– and most importantly don't immerse yourself in guilt and frustration about this!

When you eat more than your limit bc you went out with friends, or your family, or maybe you had a good time with someone you love, forget it, our little happiness matters; tomorrow you will do it better.

Adding more:

☆ Download games that keep you focused; I usually play cod mobile, sometimes also while I walk around my house to increase my steps taken haha.

If your parents / family worry about u / u are afraid that they will notice:

☆Of course, if you can, try to eat before or after ur family so they don't notice how little you eat.

☆ Distribute your meals well according to your calorie restriction and how many times or how little your family allows you to eat, for example; I eat two meals a day, my limit is 500 kcal, so I try to make my breakfast very low in kcal because lunch is prepared by my mom and it usually has a lot of calories —you will realize that to achieve this you have to start observing and planning more, hun.

☆ Personally; I usually tell them that I want to take care of myself, being healthy and that I will not eat ultra-processed foods, junk food, etc., they understand that; I don't tell them that I want to lose weight, just want to eat healthy.

☆ Fix your attitude; Idk about you, but after the first week I radically start ⭐️ving myself, they noticed it by my mood; I was constantly irritated, upset and looked very tired, now I try to pretend normality.

☆ It helps me a lot to be active at home, at least now that I'm on vacation; I mean, there are some chores that I do every day —it helps me stay active and my parents think I'm fine :)

☆ In my case, I lost weight in a very short time, it wasn't much but it was noticeable, my parents noticed it, so I decided not to wear tight clothes anymore, normally only oversized t-shirts and loose shorts, that way, they won't notice so easily when I lose weight quickly and they won't worry.

♡ I hope this helps you even a little, stay safe

[fandomnerd9602]

Wolf Spider pt. 2 (set during Scream VI)

Sam Carpenter x Spider Man!Reader

For @deafeningsharkslimeempath

Halloween time had come at last. And yet all was not calm for the Carpenter sisters and you, their friendly neighborhood Wolf Spider. The city was filled with masks and people in costumes. You knew all too well that anyone could wear a Ghostface mask, slash, and blend back into the crowd.

Trouble arrived the night before All Hallow's Eve. A murder of a film school student and his roommate. You snuck into the crime scene, Detective Bailey greeting you politely.

"Normally I wouldn't work with vigilantes" He intones.

"Well we're not under normal circumstances." you answer back. "knife?"

"Matches the slashes we found on that film studies teacher" Bailey answers back. His face goes ghostly pale.

"Ghostface"

"We don't know that yet!"

"Need more proof?" you head to the nearby ledge and swing out into the open air. You knew what it meant for your beloved girlfriend Sam and her sister Tara.

Your ear bud rings with the sound of your cell phone. A glance down to your phone reveals the caller id of Sam herself. Speak of the succubus herself.

"Hey honey" you answer the call. "How was your day?"

"My therapist was a total dick" she huffs.

You keep up the conversation while webswinging through the New York skyline, "Sweetheart, if i know a thing or two about blood, it's that you define you."

"But what about that incident with Richie?"

"I know several heroes who kill bad guys, it's only if you went after some innocent person that I'd get worried"

"Are you swinging?"

"M-Maybe"

"What have I told you about texting while swinging?"

"Well I'm not texting-" WHOOSH! A semi zooms right past you as you course correct your swing. "and that's why I love you so much, Sammie"

"Can you check on Tara for me?"

"Send me the party coordinates" you sigh as you swing toward NYU.

You found Tara drunk and being flirted with an obvious predator.

"Hey the lady and I were heading upstairs" the drunk college student continued pulling on Tara's arm. "Nice costume by the way"

"Sorry pal, you're heading downstairs" you sock the drunk predator straight in the jaw, knocking him clean out.

"I can handle myself, Y/N!" Tara intones before storming out of the party. "You're as bad as Sam sometimes!"

You quickly give chase. And so does Chad and Ethan. You charge after Tara and scoop her up before swinging off into the night.

"Where'd they go, dude?" Ethan asks your confused friend Chad.

"Put me down!" Tara drunkenly orders you.

"Well if you insist" you drop her from the height of your swing. Tara screams on the way down before you swing and scoop her up again.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Drinking's bad for your health and your grades, Carpenter" you offer a smirking smile under your mask. You come and set her down on top of the apartment's roof.

"Why can't you or Sam just allow me to make my own decisions?" Tara huffs.

"When you can start making the right ones." you huff back. "I don't mean to scare you but I can't let you wander the streets alone anymore."

"Why not?"

"Three murders recently." you remove your mask, "I think it might be-"

"Ghostface." Tara immediately sobers up before hugging you tight. "Thank you"

"You're like a sis to me, kid, I won't let anyone hurt you"

"What are we gonna tell Sam?"

"I don't know" you sigh, "could you tell her? I'm still on the hook for the whole texting and swinging incident"

Ghostface was loose in the Big Apple. You already knew who the targets were. Luckily, they had a Wolf Spider to back them up.

To Be Continued...

[resowrites]

Daredevil - oneshot.

Summary: Henry’s overprotectiveness drives his pregnant wife crazy…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, dialogue heavy, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 1765

A/N: My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Daredevil - oneshot.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Henry's voice startled her and she almost lost her footing. "Careful, you're going to fall!" He dashed forwards, catching her as she teetered backward from the ladder.

"For God's sake! I almost fell off thanks to you!" Henry quickly helped her down, taking the large box from her hands as he did so.

"Well, what on earth are you doing?! You know you're not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting!" She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous, I had to get a start on clearing my office or we won't be able to make it into a nursery--"

"Then why didn't you just call me for help? I said I'd do it at the weekend, there's no need for you to be carrying heavy stuff or going up and down ladders--"

"Henry, you promised not to start becoming a fusspot--"

"How am I being a fusspot when my pregnant wife is scaling heights while juggling a load of boxes?!"

"So I'm not meant to move for the rest of my pregnancy am I?!" He folded his arms.

"Preferably, yes!"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous! I'm allowed to carry on as I would normally, you know women can even do weight training throughout their pregnancies?" Henry's eyes went wide.

"You're not planning on doing that, are you?!"

"Well, maybe. After all… it's better to be in good shape ready for the birth."

"You're are joking? You're not seriously going to lift weights in the gym?!"

"Well, I thought having a personal trainer come here would be better. Just let me know when you're not using the weights and I'll schedule the session." But he was in no mood for her teasing.

"You mean to tell me you're going to have some random guy come over and help you work out?!" She smirked.

"Oh, so now it's about the trainer? What if it's a woman instead?" Henry sighed and led her by the hand into their bedroom. Carefully, he sat her down on the edge of the bed and took a seat beside her.

"Ollie, I know you're a headstrong person but I must admit, I'm getting worried about how that's showing up in your pregnancy--"

"Aren't you being a tad dramatic? I mean, I haven't been advised to take any precautions so far--"

"And what if that changes? Will you follow the advice you're given?"

"Of course! Why are you making me sound like some irresponsible lunatic?"

"Well, I don't know about irresponsible…" She smiled.

"I'm serious, what risks do you think I've been taking?"

"Well, take a couple of nights ago. You got in the bath despite barely being able to keep your eyes open!"

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" Henry sighed and took her hand in his.

"Ollie, you have to accept that our lives are changing. And there will be some things you just can't do anymore." She jumped to her feet and angrily crossed her arms.

"Henry, I'm not an idiot and I would appreciate it if you stopped treating me like one--" she turned to leave only for him to catch her by the sleeve.

"Whoa, there. I neither said nor implied any such thing. But what would have happened if you'd fallen asleep in the bath Ollie? I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you or the baby…" Henry's eyes seemed to glaze over temporarily and she felt bad about being so defensive.

"Oh, Henry. I had no idea you were feeling so anxious…" She sat back down on the bed, taking his hand once again.

"I'm not anxious!"

"Look, I'm worried about the responsibility of becoming a parent as well--"

"I'm not worried, either. More… concerned. I mean, there's only so much I can do to protect you both."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's my job as a husband and father to keep you both safe. And if I can't even do that before the baby gets here… it hardly bodes well for the future."

"But Henry you do protect us. Every day, in fact. You make sure I'm eating well, and getting enough rest. I can't even leave the house without you holding my hand or walking between me and the road!"

"And what if that's not enough? I won't always be around…"

"Well, I'm sure we'll manage--"

But it won't be easy for them to have such a handsome, famous father!"

"What do your looks have to do with anything?! And I'm not a china plate Henry and neither is the baby. There's going to be accidents, injuries… times when we're sick. It's just a part of life." Henry looked down, shifting slightly from one foot to the other.

"I know, I know. But just promise me you'll take it easy. At least until you're past the twelve-week mark?" She looked into his pleading eyes and could see it was useless trying to disagree.

"Fine, but only if you promise to try and relax a little. Who knows what the future will bring but I want us to both enjoy this pregnancy. Before we know it, it'll all be over."

"You're right. It's just tough feeling so powerless…" An idea suddenly popped into her head.

"Well, why don't we get a fetal doppler? That way we can listen to the baby's heartbeat at home."

"Can we really do that?!" She nodded eagerly.

"From twelve weeks onwards, yeah. And you're also welcome to check in with as many times as you want each day, no matter where you are or what you're doing." Henry visibly relaxed and placed his hands gently on his stomach.

"Do you also promise to tell me the minute anything feels off? Even if you're not entirely sure what it is?"

"Of course, darling. I know it's just as important for you to have that information as it is for me. But please try and relax, there's no use worrying over what we can't control. Now give me a hand with these boxes, once they're up in the loft I can start moving the furniture out of my office as well." He jumped to his feet and came between her and the door.

"Oh no you don't! You're not lifting any more boxes. And if you want things moved then you'll have to ask me."

"But then how will I turn the loft into a workout room?" Henry's mouth fell open. "I'm kidding! You are far too easy to wind up these days. Anyway, I thought you didn't like it when I bossed you about?"

"Well, you just said to stop worrying about things we can't change…" She bopped him on the arm. "Ow! I think somebody's overdue for a nap, don't you?" As if on queue, she yawned.

"Henry, if I wanted a nap, I'd take one…" She yawned again and Henry just shook his head.

"Into bed now, madam. And if you're good I'll bring your dinner up later as well."

"Are you going to cut it into little squares and give me a fruit shoot as well?" He smirked as he made his way around the bed and pulled back the covers.

"Ollie, you can argue with me all you like, it's great practise for when we have an actual toddler…" She grabbed a pillow off the bed and chucked it straight at Henry.

"The only toddler here is you, it's why you're so good at antagonising me all the bloody time!" He patted her spot on the bed and she reluctantly sank into the sheets. Henry then lifted up her feet and pulled them around so she was laying straight. "What's next, are you going to sing me to sleep?"

"What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of being right--"

"How are you right?! I told you, I'm not a bit sleepy." But her heavy eyes betrayed her. He then settled in beside her, rubbing the base of her stomach the way he always did to help her to sleep.

"Come on mama, time for beddy-byes…"

"Hey, do you think the baby sleeps when I'm asleep?"

"…They'll be awake more than that." Though her eyes were closed she thwacked Henry on the chest.

"You know, just for that, I think I'll do a motorbike jump over ten London buses at Wembley Stadium…"

"Have you been reading my Evel Knieval biography?"

"Well I had to find something to do between marathon training and shotput practise…" He rolled his eyes.

"Well don't go getting any ideas… you're a danger to yourself as it is."

"Oh stop it, I was actually reading it to get inspiration…"

"For what?!"

"Baby names."

"You are not naming our baby after some mad stunt performer!"

"But Knievel Cavill sounds lovely!"

"Go to bed missy, before I launch you out the bloody window!" She curled up closer to Henry.

"Ooh, now you're talking. I like a bit of danger. Maybe we should put together a knife-throwing act…"

"Don't bloody tempt me. Now close your eyes and think calm thoughts, our baby needs all the help they can get."

"I will not! I don't want them turning into a nerd or I'll come home to find the two of you painting those bloody figures!"

"Warhammer, woman! And far better they do that than be some hooligan!" She giggled. "Can you imagine them having a goth phase like you did?"

"I was never a goth!"

"You had dreadlocks! And listened to Megadeath!"

"Oh God, what if they get the worst of both of us?!"

"What, like loving air guitar as well as online player games?"

"Exactly, throw in your third nipple and they'll be an outcast!"

"It wasn't a third nipple, it was a cyst--"

"Oh Henry, I can't bare the thought of them being teased--"

"They won't be! Besides, with the kind of school they'll be going to, there'll be much better targets."

"I suppose… do you really think our lives will change that much?"

"I guess so, yeah."

"But what about us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what if we change? I like the person I am now and it took a long time to get here…"

"Darling, I promise you will be just as uncool when the baby's here as you are now. Now go to go to sleep, you can't even keep your eyes open."

"Fine, but keep rubbing my tummy…"

"Will do, after all the more love our child feels the less likely they're turn to heavy metal." She kicked him in the shin.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo

[adviceformefromme]

Hi girl. I kind of have a problem. I get jealous easily. And I get jealous of people that are amazing to me and that I love. They just have something that makes me jealous, I can always identify what aspect I'm jealous of but I'm jealous of such stupid things that I don't even recognize myself. Because of that jealousy towards the people that I love, I litetally feel horrible. When I feel like that towards a great friend (or loved person) in my life I feel so guilty. I'm not sure where it's coming from and why I feel like that but I can't control it and I NEED ADVICE so bad ngl. I just want to stop constantly and constantly comparing myself and getting FOMO and being absolutely thirsty for any type of... validation? I personally don't think I crave validation but I don't really know do I? I know you're gonna help me girl. Thank you💓🤍😭

Hey sweetie, perfect timing for this as I woke up to a message from one of my girlfriends who's just got engaged. Some years ago, this most likely would have triggered some jealousy because marriage and family has always been my dream. And even though I am yet to meet my husband, seeing the pictures and reading the message this morning I felt so happy and overjoyed for my friend, for her future, for her happiness.

So how do you quit being a Jealous Jemima?

When you have no direction and purpose you will look to others. You are not focused on yourself so it's easy to observe how far others are moving along, how much better others are doing. And that's because you are not focusing on yourself. When you're walking in purpose. When you are obedient to what is in your heart. As simple as your inner voice guiding you to the gym but you ignore it and scroll for the morning. This is how you stay stuck watching others living their best life. So stepping into purpose is going to get the focus on you, and away from others.

Personally, for me keeping my faith with God. Trusting in God's timing has allowed me to TRUST. To know I am on my own path, and not watching anyone else because I already seen the beauty God has created in my life, and I believe in my heart my dreams of marriage and family are awaiting for me. So by trusting I need not worry about anyone else. I can be happy for others who have the things I desire, in fact seeing them makes me inspired, because I know God is just showing me what's available. So by deepening your trust in God, in the unseen you can relax knowing the people around you are just a reflection of what is available, not to make you jealous but to see what is possible for them, is possible for me too! Learn from them, see what they are doing to get to where they are, the things they have. Remove the lens of jealousy and turn it into trust and faith and curiosity and you will have already shifted your energy.

My final suggestion would be delete social media. Wild I know. But I am almost 12 months no instagram, and I cannot rave about this enough. It is not normal to be consuming so much content, to know everyone's business, who got married from school, who is wearing what, who got spoiled by their man. Literally get out of the circus, social media will re-affirm any feelings of jealousy and amplify them. It's harmful and toxic to your energy. Remove yourself and watch how peaceful life becomes. And you might be wondering what to do next.

You start focusing on you. On becoming your best self. You use your energy to expand with love. You deepen your connection with God, you pray for healing. You transform your life. You let your trust in God and walking in purpose be your foundations for freeing yourself from the low vibration of jealousy. You learn to meditate. You read books (I recently published my healing book here), you do excercise consistently, you improve your diet, your skincare, you give back and support your community, you ensure you are looking and feeling your best, you get therapy if needed, you travel and explore the world, you meet new people and have new conversations. You grow. What you do not do is stay stuck, stay still. Stay complaining, stay jealous, stay carrying bad energy.

[anauro]

I’ve been going through my Google docs and found this alternative ending to ch20 of Drugs and surgical scrubs aka what would happen if Regulus didnt blurt out “the Barty and Rel thing”

“You know how sometimes friends decide to fuck up the friendship with sex?” Evan didn’t wait for an answer, before carrying on, “they say it’s just gonna be a one time thing, that it won’t change anything, but it actually does change pretty much everything. And then the other person expects things to get back to normal and I want it too, don’t get me wrong, I really do. But I can’t.” Evan looked at him pleadingly. “I can’t.”

Regulus felt anxiety weave its way into his brain. He set down his coffee and looked Evan in the eyes.

“What exactly are you telling me, Evan?”

In the peripheries of his vision, Regulus could see Evan’s nails digging into his palm. His breath hitched in his chest as Evan opened his mouth.

“Me and Barty slept together.”

Oh.

The air got knocked out of Regulus’ lung and his vision went black as Evan’s words settled in.

Evan and Barty slept together.

His two best friends. Straight. Fucked each other.

This better be a fucking joke.

But Evan didn’t look like he was joking. Instead, he mirrored Regulus’ terror, both of them staring at each other with pure fear.

Regulus cleared his throat. “Come again, sorry?”

“I slept with Barty.”

The pain that exploded in Regulus’ heart was overwhelming, each heartbeat spreading it further around his body.

“But…but you’re both straight,” he managed to squeak out.

“No, that’s the problem, Reg.” Evan reached forward and grabbed Regulus’ hand. Regulus allowed it, too shocked to protest. “I don’t think I’m straight and it scares the crap out of me,” he said in hushed voice. “I… you’ve known me since I was a little kid, so tell me. Am I different now? Does this change anything?”

Regulus wanted nothing more than to run away from here and be sick in some bathroom and then challenge Barty about this new development.

The pain in his chest was not easing off and Evan’s fingers around his hand felt like blades, seeping the poisonous venom into Regulus.

The same fingers held Barty’s hand. Touched him.

Regulus closed his eyes shut.

“Liking men isn’t a bad thing, Evan,” he forced the words out of his mouth. “It doesn’t change who you are. You were always like this, you just didn’t realise until now.”

“So I lived over twenty six years of my life without knowing? What other things am I hiding from myself then, huh? From you?”

Regulus shook his head, biting on his bottom lip. He didn’t want to have this conversation with Evan, least of all now. But when he opened his eyes and saw the desperate look on Evan’s face… Evan was still his friend. Even if Regulus hated him at that very moment.

“I’m gay, Evan.”

Surprised flickered through Evan’s face.

“You… what?”

“I’m gay, Evan,” Regulus repeated, wringling his hand free. “I’m gay and I always have been and there’s nothing wrong with me, so there’s nothing wrong with you either.”

Evan watched him, utterly astonished.

“Don’t give me this look, Ev,” Regulus sighed. “I didn’t tell you before, because it wasn’t relevant. You guys were doing your girls and I… I was hooking up with men all along.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Regulus scrunched up his nose. “What are you sorry for?”

“For making you feel like your sexuality wasn’t relevant. For not being enough of a good friend that you felt safe coming out to. For that… I’m sorry.”

Oh.

A warmer feeling started to spread through Regulus’ body, originating at the fingertips Evan held just a moment ago. It eased Regulus’ heartache, an aloe vera to his soul.

“It’s okay, Evan,” he said quietly. “It was me who didn’t want to come out to you guys rather than you doing anything.”

“Man, look at us,” Evan mused. “We could have been having awesome gay sex all throughout uni.”

Regulus swallowed down the bile that was coming up his throat.

“Yeah. We could have.”

He could have had Barty all along. For years, he could have had him.

If only he had said something.

“How did it happen?” The question was out of Regulus before he realised.

Evan gave him a confused look. “You mean me realizing I like women and men?”

“I mean you and Barty.” Even saying the words out loud burnt in Regulus’ throat. “How did it happen?”

“Oh.” Evan’s smile faltered. “It… just kind of did? I said I’ve been having thoughts about men and he offered and I agreed.”

“He offered?” Regulus all but choked out.

Was that how easy it was to get Barty all this time?

All he had to do was ask and Barty would offer?

[theobsessedcookiefan]

...early yay-

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hypnotic..

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Part Three: Deal.

I tried to speak but only bubbles were coming out of my mouth, the cookie in front of me shook his head as he smiled. "You shouldn't waste your breath that fast or you'll lose consciousness and have no chance to save yourself." Save myself? Was there a chance? I raised an eyebrow at that which caused my companion to laugh. "Don't give me that expression, you knew about the dangers of following a mysterious voice." He said as he placed a hand on his chest. "I must say I'm a great actor, I've managed to lure thousands and thousands and thousands of stupid cookies into the trap, they usually give up and leave to die as they can't find their way home but you.. you're persistent aren't you? Even the danger of the water didn't stop you from trying to get there." That was good? I should be proud of myself? Wait... Shouldn't I have drowned by now?

I looked around me, noticing that the dark of the lake had changed, it now looked like something luminescent. It was strangely beautiful, before I could look any further he grabbed my chin to make me look him in the eyes, he looked annoyed now, a somewhat drastic change from the cheerful and somewhat creepy personality he showed before, maybe he was annoyed at not being the center of attention. "Don't get distracted, your eyes always on me, I'm offering to save your life." The luminescence of the lake allowed me to observe him better, his bluish mass and his hair... He wasn't exactly ugly... Especially those eyes of his, they were like two crystals of different shades, but still, they attracted me like a moth to a light.. Shit I got distracted again- I nodded quickly at the mention of "not dying" putting both hands together in an attempt to convince him, again that change in his expression, he looked happy again. "Good! Normally I would ask you for something in return but seeing that you made it this far I think it would be a shame if you died-" He tapped me on the forehead before continuing. "-that would definitely ruin the fun." I unwillingly closed my eyes and a moment later I woke up again, I was in the library again, what happened? The last thing I remember was being about to meet my maker and out of nowhere.... Did I dream it? Maybe. Still I couldn't get out of my head such a cheerful and playful voice... That intense blue color of two shades, I couldn't get it out of my mind.

[Time skip]

Several days had already passed, I still couldn't stop thinking about that blue color that occupied my mind day and night, it wouldn't let me sleep, I had to find out where it was from, where I had seen it. I decided to visit the library again, looking through all the books for a clue as to where that hypnotic blue could be; I found something? Not really, but I did learn about the history of the kingdom, apparently there were five heroes who were falling into madness because of their own powers. It made me have a bad feeling, a very bad feeling...

Days of investigation yielded no information so I simply resigned myself to not knowing anything anymore.

That's what I would have thought if I was a pussy and easy to give up... which I am not! I started asking everyone about it, no one seemed to know anything until a neighbor told me that she had seen when I had gone out at night, she confessed to me that she thought the False Light had already claimed me for having disobeyed the Light of Truth.

"What? I never disobeyed it!" I replied, crossing my arms angrily, to which my neighbor; Red Berry Cookie sighed.

"Of course you did, if you had listened to her warning you wouldn't have gone out late at night into the clearing of the Silver Forest." Silver Forest? I had read about that place before in the library! That got my attention. "And what specifically is there?" I asked, moving closer to my neighbor who became nervous. "You know.. Trees and bushes, the usual stuff in a forest.." I didn't believe a word she said. "Please tell me the truth, I need to know, if for some miraculous reason I am still alive I want to know why." She looked like she wasn't going to tell me anything but sighed. "In the Silver Forest is the Seal that contains the beasts; The Great Silver Tree.... Unfortunately not all magic can be contained and the ancient wielder of the Light of Truth manages to lure helpless cookies into the lake in front of the tree.... Needless to say what happens to those cookies, almost none of them make it and die on the way, but he with every bit of Life Powder grows stronger and stronger, who knows if he will be able to break the seal soon." Wow... That was... Tetric- "And why didn't he kill me there? Because I'm still alive?" I asked, to which she shrugged. "Maybe you got so far and caught his attention and that's not good, you shouldn't leave the village anymore, not until the purification next month"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[jewish-vents]

My Anti-Social Personality Disorder is helping me cope with the spike in antisemitism - I've been told I'm not a person, I don't have a soul, people like me shouldn't be allowed to have kids, I should be euthanized, everything someone with ASPD does is secretly evil or manipulative and every person who sucks secretly has ASPD, etc. - but it's not helping me with the one thing I need it to. I need to protect my great-grandmother, my only living relative, the one who raised me after my parents died, who fought tooth and nail to get me out of the foster care system. I need to shield her from all this bad news and make sure she doesn't realize how violent and dire things are. She always protected me. I have to do the same for her. I have to keep her happy for however long she has left on this Earth.

I love her more than anyone or anything in the world. I would take a bullet for her if I had to, but antisemitism is more like a sea of landmines that keep detonating all around us. I try to get out in front of everything. I buy her silky summer scarves because she loves them and they cover up her Magen David. Instead of going to the summer music festival here, which I know attracts a lot of country good ol' boy white supremacists on top of the left wing antisemites, I bought us tickets to a classical violinist she's a huge fan of. She asked about my girlfriend breaking up with me and instead of telling her about how antisemitic my ex is I blurted out a truth I've been hiding for years, which is that I'm asexual but not aromantic and that's made dating hard sometimes. I've sought out, downloaded and burned DVDs of all kinds of her favorite movies from the black and white era so she'll be distracted away from her time spent normally watching the news by that. In spite of my dyslexia, I've recommitted myself to learning Hebrew because she helps me and that pulls her attention off of the news and the realities I don't want her to face.

And yet it's not enough. More and more of the news of antisemitism rising around the world filters through to her. I'm doing everything I can but it's not enough. I am not enough. I am insufficient. ASPD comes with being acutely aware of your own high intelligence but what no one ever tells you is, to quote an anime I watched recently, "You can't recover from something you can't escape." There's too much for me to shield her from all of it.

I'm used to being treated as if my personhood is conditional and can be revoked at any moment. That's my whole life. That was not her whole life. She's a survivor of the Shoah. Her whole life has been spent seeing progress made in antisemitic attitudes in many countries after witnessing the worst it could get. My brain is uniquely (mal)adapted to process and disregard people's cruelty as normal. Hers is not. She expects people to have humanity. They don't. And I can't protect her from that. I can't save her. I can't keep this from creeping into her spectrum of awareness.

Sometimes I wonder why Hashem even bothered giving me heightened intelligence if I can't manage to use it correctly to help her. What is it good for? What is it worth?

Sometimes I think this must be a skill issue. If I just tried harder, surely, with my IQ, I could keep her safe and oblivious to everything. I need to be doing more. But what?

Sometimes I just look at goyim and - and I am aware this is not something you're supposed to admit to/is bad, I just don't care - I think, "I hope someday someone treats you exactly like you've treated others. I hope you get back exactly what you've put out into the world, and you get as little sympathy and help in that moment as my great-grandmother is getting right now."

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. If you haven't already, I strongly recommend that you reach out to your local Jewish community. If you don't have one, or you for any reason don't feel comfortable with the local community, seek out community online.

There is only so long that you can shield your great-grandmother from the world. I understand the urge; we all have it, but no one has the power to keep their loved ones from ever being hurt.

What you can do is support her through the pain, and find other people who will help support her.

This will not be the first time your great-grandmother has experienced antisemitism. She may be better equipped to handle it than you fear.-🐞

[dayangaytransman]

Warnings: mention of Transphobia, Homophobia, Self harm, Suicide, Gender Dysphoria and depression

I translated this with the help of AI so I don't know how much of it is correct. Sorry for bad english

I just want to share this; otherwise, I might do something that makes everyone upset

I am a Trans man/Transmasc/Genderfluid person. I use any pronouns except She/Her.

In my country, they won't let me transition, but they also don't want me near them pre- transition

I tell doctors and people who say they can help me that I need testosterone.

But they tell me if they give that to me, I will have a beard and I will regret it! I want a beard! WTF!

A doctor said to me that he cannot give me testosterone, but I can buy it and inject it myself! They don’t sell medicines like that without a doctor’s permission.

I look like a woman, or a 12-year-old cis boy.

I am 19 years old

And when people meet me, a grown man, they see a child and act accordingly. They call me little and short, and I can’t tell people in public how old I am, but they always ask.

I hate myself because I don’t look like the grown man I am. I am 153 cm and 42 kg. I am short, skinny, and have a baby face.

I sometimes present as feminine, and when I do, people in public say unkind things to me. They even try to harm me.

I live in a place where the government executes gay men and I am afraid when they see me as a gay boy.

I live in a Muslim country, so they expect me to wear a hijab, even though I am not Muslim.

I can’t transition here, even if they allow it. The doctors don’t know what they’re doing. I don’t want to be a laboratory mouse. Once, the most famous doctor was accused of killing a person just from a mastectomy! I want a healthy, beautiful, normal body.

I can’t travel for transition because I am very poor, and in my country, even $10,000 is a lot. Even with 100 years of working, I couldn’t accumulate that much money.

But they won’t even let me work or study! Many LGBTQIA+ people here have been expelled from school.

In my country, a trans person is a psychopath. Many of us don’t have an ID ( of our true gender) , and we can’t live like this.

I can’t attend classes, such as an art class, or visit any doctor. They require an ID, and even when they don’t, I don’t want to out myself or have them touch and examine my body.

I experience all forms of dysphoria that exist. I am dealing with depression, childhood trauma, ADHD, social anxiety, among other issues.

I tried to kill myself twice. I have left school. I don’t want to leave the house, but I am trying to change these things, and I can’t seem to do so.

And you know what? Nobody cares!

Do you think all transgender individuals speak English and reside in countries that are friendly to the queer community?

I cannot create a GoFundMe here; there is no supportive organization or similar entity available. Everyone here hates me and can easily kill me.

I am gay, and my relationships have always been toxic.

Men do not perceive me as a man.

My father left me; my mother just doesn’t care about me, and my brother is my biggest enemy.

I cry every day, and I don’t know if I want to be alive anymore. When I tell all my friends and family, even those who can see my tears, they don’t care.

I don't know what to do.

I see people on the internet who just need to turn 18 to transition, try a little bit harder, or travel to another city.

I do not have these privileges. I have wanted testosterone for four years and have tried to obtain it in the way the government indicated, but they have not provided it to me.

I hate my chest, My high, My face, My... My everything

I feel inadequate because I am unable to study, work, or even travel to see my boyfriend and best friend.

I remain alive because if I were to die, there would be no one to feed my cat. He/it is all I have in this world.

People often ask whether I am a girl or a boy. They always tell me that I am short and small, and insist that I can’t be older than they are.

I AM A GROWN ASS MAN!

Imagine calling Tom Ellis or Henry Cavill cute, little, and girlish.

And when my gender changes because I am genderfluid, it gets worse. And I don't feel like a woman.

Nobody here understands what ‘non-binary’ means.

They don’t understand the meaning of ‘trans’ either.

They refer to us by a term that I cannot repeat because it is an offensive word. A bad word that means: a person who is a prostitute has two genitals and is mentally insane. And they want transgender individuals to fully transition. Otherwise, they won’t give them an ID. And who do you think are the ones who say who is trans and who is not? The government! Actually, it’s the psychologists, but mostly the government. You need to prove yourself to them, and I tried hard, but I failed.

Even my family doesn’t see me as an adult—a man who is 19 years old.

Most of the day, I talk to AI because it is kind and knows what it is doing.

Here people think we are sex workers. That Trans people are always horny!

I have dysphoria, so I am not horny, even when I want to be. I can't even masturbate. I can't even look at it.

Here if they find out, they can send me to jail because I am an AFAB person without Hijab. All the people here are transphobic and I can't do shit about it.

And... Nobody in the world cares... I have no doubt that you do not even know the geographical location of my country.

Queer people in my country are the most miserable people on the planet. And they are against each other more than anywhere else. Gay men don't want me around them here ,same as Trans men. And they all hate non-binary people, Polyamorus people and people like me who have more than 10 labels.

I want to grow one day and become an artist, a writer, and an LGBTQIA+ activist. But also I want to kill myself. I want to become manly, sexy, hairy, and big But on the other hand, I want to hurt myself. I want to study philosophy, literature, and languages, but I also hate them because they don’t include someone like me.

I want to write LGBTQIA+ stories in my native language to contribute to my community. But this is illegal here.

I want to do anything and everything, but I know all of this is a dream, and just a dream

All I can do is cry and wonder if I should kill myself

I am sorry if this makes you upset, but I need to say these things to the world.

I wish I were AMAB, or if not, a wealthy person so I could transition. And if not that, then Canadian, European, or even American, so the transition would not be just a dream. Or if I am none of these, at least to not have all the dysphoria in the world, from top to bottom, from voice to face, to height to hips to…

Why? Just... Why?

[graceraindrops-blog]

I have a question for you regarding the whole seriesbof Diabolik Lovers.

Is it wrong to like the series?

The whole series falls under the dark romance troupe. But many people do not like it due to the fact the constant abuse and torture Yui is put through, how the tragic past of brothers the doesn't justify their actions towards Yui, and the romancitization of a abusive relationship.

Not using Stockholm Syndrome because it doesn't have any psychological trials but was coined by a police officer to discredit a female hostage during a bank robbery.

https://apnews.com/article/stockholm-syndrome-history-origin-023ddcd3a14ac00a0ba88feb838574b3

First of, thanks for the question anon because I really wanted to make post about this exact topic so this is the perfect opportunity!

As of your question, I think we really have to understand, as a fandom, that diabolik lovers is not for everyone and is targeted at a very specific demographic, so of course it makes perfect sense why there's people who would not like the content diabolik lovers has and criticize or hate. Personally, I think that as long you don't normalize, justify, or romanticize the actions of the male characters, as long as you understand that a lot of the stuff the characters do to the protagonist is not okay and is NOT ROMANTIC, you know why there's people who feel uncomfortable by Diabolik lovers and in general you don't defend these types of behaviors and don't view them as romantic..it's not wrong to like Diabolik lovers and I don't think liking it makes you a bad person or a person with questionable morals.

I think anyone should be allowed to like media with problematic stuff without being questioned about their morality as long as the media in question doesn't normalize the questionable things. Which, unlike popular belief, I don't believe diabolik lovers normalize those horrible things, but that's a topic for another post. Anyway, I think we also have to take into consideration that a lot of the people in the fandom got into DL because of the anime (which is a more censored version compared to the games) and not really because of the games (myself included) and not all of them are aware of the bad things the diaboys did to the MC so that's why, till this day, some of them still defend the diaboys, even if its a small minority.

Anywho, I know there's a huge debate (that I personally won't get into) about whether fiction affects reality or not, and because of that a lot of non-DL likers believe DL fans think that type of behavior is okay and that justifies serious situations like SA or torture, which is the opposite (I would like to say that compared to other fandoms, the DL fandom ACTUALLY is aware of the bad behaviors of the characters and do call them out, which you can see countless of posts doing so) because we, in fact, do not (though there are people who justify the actions, but again, it's a small minority)

Is it wrong to like diabolik lovers? No, at least I don't think it's a bad thing. I think DL is one of those series that show you perfectly how victims of abuse can become abusers and do bad things and that not all abuse victims become good people. of course, I agree with anyone saying that their abuse doesn't justify their actions towards Yui but again, it's more of an explanation than a justification, it's the reason why they behaved that way. I think we should also take into consideration that a a fair amount of time has passed between the first games and the diaboys no longer behave like they used to and are way kinder with the mc (at the end of the day, it is an otome game so it makes sense).

I am a firm believer that creators should have the freedom to add a problematic thing (as long as it doesn't normalize it, of course) without spoonfeeding the consumer of how the bad thing in question is bad constantly, because the consumer should already know that and because the media makes it clear that it's bad, and I believe diabolik lovers does that. While reading the translations I always thought that the game made a very clear distinction between what actions were supposed to be romantic and what actions weren't supposed to be romantic. I believe that a lot of the actions of the diaboys did were supposed to show us how bad their past trauma affected them to the point it affected their personality and the way they treat others (not only MC). I think DL in general makes it clear that the behaviors of the diaboys towards the mc aren't okay and, believe it or not, the diaboys do suffer consequences from treating the mc like dogshit lol.

I know a lot of people are not going to agree with this particular take, but taking into account you asked me, I just wanted to put my two and two together on what I personally thought regarding this topic. if you don't like Diabolik lovers and you hate it for being problematic, I don't blame you and I understand why, at the end of the day it's extremely disturbing and definitely not for anyone. Even as someone who has been consuming DL content for years now, it does make me very uncomfortable sometimes and disturbed me to the point there are a lot of translations I never finished reading because I got creeped out lol, but the character development of this game makes it up for those times.

To conclude, no it's not wrong to like DL as long as you're aware that none of the behaviors displayed by the diaboys are not normal nor in any way justified.

[hannahssimblr]

“Evan, can I sit?”

He glances up at me and shrugs, patting the ground next to him so I slump down heavily on it and take a healthy gulp from my bottle. 

“You good, man?”

“Yeah, amazing.”

“I, uh, I see you were chatting to Leah, there? You know each other?”

“Nah.”

“Really? Well... she’s a weirdo anyway, you’re better off getting away from her, like, I just sell her weed and stuff, I don’t really like when she hangs around too long.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” 

“Was she being weird with you?” 

“Nope.” 

We’re silent as we watch the flames. I begin to wonder what time it is, and whether I've stayed long enough now for it to be acceptable to go home. As I watch all of the other friends around the fire have fun together I’m struck by how much of an outsider I really am. Sure, Rob and Katie are nice, but will any of that niceness extend into normal life with the eyes of everyone else at school upon us? Surely they will go back to the steps at the back of the school while I go back to the rugby changing rooms, or the library, as it may be and things will resume as they are, as they've always been and always will be. Realistically, would they ever be seen with me? Would I ever be seen with them? There's this weird, empty feeling in me, a feeling that just compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, and it's like I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. I'm just floating in the in-between, and who even am I? What does it mean to even-

“Hey,” Evan interrupts my spiralling inner dialogue, “I meant to say to you that it’s cool that you came along, you know, even when Jen and Michelle didn’t.”

This takes me by surprise, “You think?”

“Yeah, I mean, I suppose I kind of thought you were just hanging out with us sometimes because of them, and that you didn’t really want to be there, but,” a shrug, “I suppose that isn’t true.”

“No, I like hanging out with you.”

“And it’s not just because you’ve been ostracised by your other friends?”

I hesitate for a beat, “No.”

Evan laughs, “Wow, I’m so convinced!”

“No, come on,” I rock to the side and nudge his shoulder with mine, “Like, yeah, sometimes it’s nice to have Jen here, but I’m fine, I can handle myself around the emos… and as for Michelle, well, she hates me, so it’s actually kinda comfier when she’s not here, and- oh,” I realise immediately what I’ve said, “um, well I don’t really mean that, it-”

“No, it’s okay,” Evan says, “I know that you two aren’t exactly best friends or anything.”

“Ah, so she’s talked to you about me.” 

“Nah, you’ve honestly never come up in conversation.”

“Somehow that’s worse.”

He snickers. 

“How are, um,” I pick at the beer label with my thumb, “How are things going with you guys? Like, the last time we talked you were feeling kinda…”

A sigh, “Oh, yeah, it’s the same. Like, she’s so nice but sometimes I don’t feel like I get enough from her.”

“Uh huh.”

“I kind of get a bit annoyed about it sometimes, like, how are we supposed to be together properly if I hardly see her? Like, man, she’s allowed to come to my house like, once a week. In the afternoon. And that’s the only time we can… uh, hook up or whatever. It’s so annoying.”

“Just from an outsider's perspective, you know, you seem pretty happy.”

“Yeah. She’s definitely into me,” He musses up and fixes his fringe, “I dunno. It’s fine, just sometimes I wonder about shit. You know what I mean, right?”

“I’m probably not the best person to ask, seeing none of my relationships have worked out so far, and I’m also fairly drunk, so…”

“But you know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t give you the things you needed, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“So you do get it.”

“Mm, I suppose,” as our conversation tapers off I let my mind drift into thoughts about love and loneliness and the hollow disappointment of all of my relationships. These are bitter, useless, self destructive thoughts as usual, made even worse by the fact that I’m not exactly capable of rational thought while inebriated. Is drinking bad for me? Am I a miserable drunk? I have to physically shake myself out of my own head before I start talking myself into a hole again.

I turn to Evan to start saying something else about, I don’t know, whether he’s ever tried pranking someone by turning their school bag inside out and putting the books back into it or something stupid like that, but I see he’s distracted by something else across the bonfire. 

It’s that girl with the pink hair. She’s leaning over a bag to rummage for more beer, and her short skirt rides up when she’s bent over like that so that her underwear is visible through the sheer material of her tights. I frown at the dirty little smirk on his face, the way hungry eyes follow her movements, and the look between them as she glances over her shoulder and sees him watching her. I nudge my knee against his to interrupt whatever is going on.

“Wow, nice legs, huh?” 

He looks at me, surprised, but lets out a rough laugh, “Yeah, for sure.”

“Is she into you or am I just seeing things?”

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, c’mon, no, I’m just messing with you, she just looked like… I dunno.”

“Like what?”

I shift awkwardly, “You know what, don’t mind me, I’ve had too much to drink, I thought I detected flirting, or whatever, I guess I was wrong.”

The girl kneels onto the ground and starts asking around for the bottle opener, and Evan doesn’t take his eyes away from her. “She’s pretty though, isn’t she?”

“Hm?”

“Carlie. That’s her name. She’s pretty, do you think?”

“She’s single?”

“Yep.”

“So are you trying to set me up with her or are you just pointing that out?”

“I’m not trying to set you up.” Evan seems agitated by this idea that I might try to date pretty Carlie, who, by the way, treats me like I am contagious. As though it’s any of his business what she does, as if he should even care. Something sour settles in my gut, but I can’t tell whether it’s that I'm weirded out by this conversation or if the alcohol is nauseating me. 

“Right, well, she’s not my type,” I watch his face carefully, “Is she yours?”

“She’s pretty hot.”

Maybe he's looking for my approval or my agreement, which I don’t give him on purpose. To see where it leads me I respond with a benign, “Oh, you think?”

“Uh huh,” They catch eyes again and she smiles coyly and quickly looks away to resume her conversation. That’s flirtation. She’s flirting with him, and him back, right in front of my face. 

“You know, a lot of people would consider your girlfriend to be pretty hot too.” It’s true, I’ve heard those rugby boys saying it before, the only time they ever had anything remotely complimentary to say about any of the emos was to point out the things they fancied about Michelle and what they might like to do to her if she A. wasn’t emo, or B. nobody knew, so that they wouldn’t have to suffer the social consequences. I feel disgusted again at this memory. I know where I was, sitting on the bench lacing up my boots and saying nothing while they spoke casual filth about a girl I know. 

It’s a similar feeling to the one I have now at this bonfire with Evan, and maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk, maybe he just gets a bit… leery, but when he stares across the fire at someone who isn’t his girlfriend I swear I am looking at Willy FitzHerbert. 

He waves my comment away, “Yeah but at least Carlie is interested in sex.”

“How do you know that?”

He leans closer, “Obviously because I’ve done it with her.”

“Yeah?” I say, “When?”

He smirks and says nothing.

I push him again. “A few years ago?”

He lowers his voice and looks at me with eyes that glitter with salacious excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever once seen another boy look so pleased with himself as he says: “Try a month ago.”

It takes all my self control not to react. I just pause for a second as a shock of revulsion rips through my body, I feel it from my feet to the top of my head, and then, when I decide to speak, my voice is strange to my own ears, “While you were with Michelle.”

A shrug, “It just happened on a night out when she wasn’t there. I dunno.”

“She doesn’t know?”

“Course not. She’d break up with me.”

“And... you don’t want that.”

“No, because we’re in love. This stuff with Carlie, it was just… you get what I mean. It’s not like that with her.”

I sigh, “Uh, yep.”

So it appears it is the same for Evan as it is for all the others. Michelle is the virgin, Carlie is the slut and he wants it all at the same time. A girl worthy of love, and a girl interested in sex, two things that cannot converge. There is no girl that can be both.

“It felt good to let loose with someone who knew what they were doing, and like, not have to think so hard about making the other person all safe and comfortable and, blah,” he rolls his eyes, “Carlie is cool.”

“Right, yeah, she seems it.”

“You get me, right? Guys like us, you know, we need to be able to just relax sometimes, not think so hard…”

“Yeah, for sure… Guys like us, huh?”

“Hell yeah!” He clinks his beer bottle against mine, “I knew you’d get it, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should say something but I feel good now that you understand what I meant.”

I try to laugh but it sounds weird and strangled, so I bring the bottle to my lips in the hope that drinking will disguise my discomfort, or at the very least numb it a bit. I finish the last two thirds of it and toss it somewhere amongst the miscellaneous rubbish, remnants of a hundred other miserable bonfire nights on Dollymount strand.  

Then, after a minute or two Evan nudges me again. It’s hard to look at him but I force myself to because it is what I would do if this situation was normal, “You’re not going to say anything, right? Like, to Michelle or Jen? Like I know you probably won’t...” A laugh as he adjusts his fringe, “That'd be insane, I know, but I wanted to make sure.”

“Me? Nah,” I say, “Why would you even have to ask? Don’t worry about it,” I scratch the back of my head, “your, uh, your secret is safe with me.”

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