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crazedhatesoul · 1 year

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@wanderinglcst @inxthexshadowxofxdeath

Matt: Matt looked at Hobbes across the way on the couch and frowned some at the hat on his head. "Do you ever wash that thing? I can smell it from here." He leaned over and knocked it off his head before turning back to the match they were watching today. Hawk was at work so instead of sitting around bored, he had radioed Hobbes to come over.

Hobbes: Hobbes was hyper focused on the television, edge of his seat as he watched the play only to be rudely interrupted. "Awh, what the fuck?" He snatched his cap before it could fall to the ground, "Nah, I rather it age like fine fuckin' wine -- of course I wash it!" He waved the hat in Matt's direction with one hand. "Look, I work in the goddamn woods, Matt. We had to burn a bunch of debris today and the smoke stuck to my clothes." The other arm stretched out to his side in a 'sue me' fashion. "It just so happens I was on my way home to shower before you radio'ed me." He put on a bad British accent, throwing the back of a hand over his forehead dramatically, "I'm so lonelyyy, come visit meee, Hawk's at workkk…"

Matt: "Still, you smell." Matt shrugged then rolled his eyes at the explanation. "Yeah, yeah. Excuses, excuses…" He couldn't hold it back any more and laughed at the impression. "Next time I won't fucking bother you arsehole." He was still laughing though and gave him a rough shove then picked up the nachos to eat and watch.

Hobbes: "Look, man your the one who interrupted me mid-route to my shower so unless you're offering yours…" He caught Matt's sleeve when shoved, "-- Oh, c'mon, baby don't be that way. This is tradition. You, me, the boys," he motioned to the tv, "There's somethin' sacred about this practice and you know it…" He paused. His own loneliness always snuck up on him. He turned his attention back to the tv. "…Honestly, rather be here than be home…"

Matt: He shook his head. "No, too late." Matt was still chuckling though as Hobbes had hold of his sleeve. "Fine fine, you've won me over." He slumped back into the couch. "I don't blame you. When I lived in the commune I felt super lonely despite being in a house full of people." Then he looked over again. "Why don't you use our shower? The towels are in the cupboard. I'm sure Hawk won't mind."

Hobbes: He considered Matt's words for a moment, hand moving to comb through his hair. "…My place used to be so much… brighter. There was always background noice. And crayola on the walls. And I was always stepping on fuckin' marbles and race cars." a slow exhale through his nose at the memory. "And now it's just silent. All the time. -- Sorry. Yeah. I think I will. Thanks." His mood had dropped exponentially, so he stood. Maybe a shower would help.

Matt: He looked at Hobbes as he spoke and didn't say anything until he was finished so leaned over and gave his knee a comforting squeeze. "Okay." Matt sat back again. "I'll be here watching this." He gestured with a smile.

Hobbes: The hand was a comfort, and Hobbes surprised himself by lifting his own to wisp over Matt's knuckles before standing. He didn't have the words to say thank you yet. He promised himself he would figure out a way to after his shower. Even if he clumsily stumbled through it.

Matt: The touch didn't go to miss and he tried his best to not react to it because he was super affectionate and loved nothing but being touched but it wasn't the right place nor time for it so he sat, eating the nachos for a little while, listening to the game then when he heard the key in the door, Matt dumped the food on the table and climbed over the back of the sofa. "Babe!"

Hawk: hawk was just getting home from what felt like a longer day then it should've been and he wanted nothing more than to just curl up next to matt and relax the rest of the night so when he heard the 'babe' after walking inside he smiled and closed the door behind him making sure to lock it. "hey baby," hawk walked up to matt and wrapped an arm around his waist not noticing anything else just yet, "how was yer day?"

Matt: He practically threw himself onto Hawk when he got closer and draped his arms around him, smothering his face with kisses. "Boring, Sugar sent me home early." Then he kissed his lips. "I just want a kiss from you and the world's all right again."

Hawk: he set his keys down on the table right before matt draped his arms over him and started laughing at the smothering, "alright alright i get it ya missed me," hawk teased but gladly kissed him back. "bummer she sent ya home early though." he finally looked over into the living room and spotted the nachos and drinks on the table then looked back at matt with a raised eyebrow, "did ya have company over?"

Hobbes: Hobbes had been rehearsing what to say, finding it increasingly difficult. He was so good at talking when he was saying nothing at all but when it came to the important moments he struggled. Towel wrapped around his waist he stared himself down in the mirror and told himself to get over it and that it wasn't that hard to let somebody know that you appreciated them. The only issue was that when you started appreciating people being around it hurt so much more when they weren't there anymore. But when he was with Matt he felt little need to be anything other than just Hobbes (be it goofy and hyperactive or exhausted and sad). Not many people had that privilege.

He hadn't heard Hawk come in over the shower head. "Hey, Matt? Listen…" He pushed wet curls off his forehead, "I just wanted to say thank you, for, you know…" His voice trailed at the sight of the two together. His sleepy gaze easily met Hawk's. "Oh, hey. Welcome home."

Matt: "I do actually it-" then Hobbes was speaking so he turned to face him with a smile when he started to thank him. "Yeah, Hobbes is here to watch a game, I hope it's okay that I let him use our shower." Matt stepped away from Hawk then grabbed a beer off the table, holding it out to him. Yeah, Matt did look for a second but it left as fast as it came. "Here you go, it's home brewed."

Hawk: hawks gaze met hobbes back after he'd realized it was him, trying not to stare or have a reaction at the fact he was just standing there in a towel but he did notice that matt had a look himself, then looked back at matt. "yeah that's fine i don' care," he said grabbing the beer. "and hey hobbes," hawk added taking a swig of the beer. "you two and sports, i don' get it sometimes."

Hobbes: Everyone seemed to take interest in Hobbes in his towel other than Hobbes who was currently more concerned that now he had to start his whole 'thanks you for being a friend' spiel over to Matt at a later date. "S'why you're never invited." Hobbes responded with a lazy smile. He leaned against the hallway wall arms crossed, "Since Matt takes such issue wit' my work gettup, it alright with either of you if I borrow something to…" He motioned to his torso, "Cover up?"

Matt: Matt pointed at Hobbes when he said that. "Exactly." Then he laughed some. "It's okay though babe, that's why Hobbes and I like hanging out so we can watch sports and be manly." When he said that, he flexed his arms then dropped them. "Yeah, course. I'll get you something of mine because his will swallow you." Then he vanished into the bedroom to fetch a t-shirt for Hobbes, bringing it back out shortly. "Here you go."

Hobbes: "I know what you just said to be true but I'm still upset about it." He snatched the shirt playfully, pulling it over his head, words muffled. "It anything. They'd be too long. That's all. You remember that."

Matt: He grinned. "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you, Hobbes? You're small." Chuckling, he pushed away from Hawk then sat himself back down on the sofa. "I'd rather they be too long than too big."

Hawk: hawk just watched the two of them go back and forth and thought to himself 'what the fuck is happening right now' before he shook himself out of his head. he kissed matt on the head after he'd sat down and laughed, "ya forgot to get him some pants dumbass." it was always said with love as he ruffled matts hair and disappeared into the bedroom, changing out of his work clothes and into his own sweatshirt and sweatpants, pulling out an extra pair of sweats for hobbes. hawk reappeared not shortly after and tossed the sweats at hobbes, "there, now ya can get out of the towel." not like he minded it anyway but he wasn't about to admit that now as he sat down and threw an arm around matts shoulders.

Hobbes: Hobbes leaned against the back of the couch where Matt sat, "I might be shorter than you two. But I'm definitely not small." he patted Matt's shoulder with one hand and caught the sweats with his other. He slipped them on and hung up his towel, returning to Hawk in his seat. He'd allow it. Tugging gently at one of the hoodie's laces he commented, "I never seen this before. You're always all dressed up when I see you." Or, before, all dressed down to nothing. Hobbes realized then he'd never really seen Hawk like this before. Sure they've hung out at the bar or on one of their porches but never had they sat on the couch together like Hobbes and Matt did. It was… nice. "Matt this is the softest fuckin' shirt I've ever worn." He looked down at it and found it comforting, fingers brushing over the bottom hem. "You might not get this back." Perhaps this was something like why his wife would always weasel away with Hobbes' henleys. 'I just like you close to me' she would say. He ignored the thought.

Matt: Matt glanced up at Hobbes when he leaned behind him and shook his head. "We'll have to see about that won't we." He teased then grinned when Hawk came back out, for some reason he didn't stop smiling every time Hawk entered the room and when he sat with him, Matt shuffled right up against him with the nachos, offering them for him to eat one by one. "It's my favourite hoodie. I keep telling him he should dress like this more in public but you know how he is." Matt sighed dramatically. "Why don't you keep it?" He offered after the statement about his shirt being soft. "I have others, it won't kill me to have one less shirt."

Hawk: hawk looked at the hand that tugged at the string for a moment and shrugged, using his free hand to pick at the nachos matt had offered him. "i don' know, jsut don' like dressin' this way in public. can' let people know i might actually have a soft side." he tried to joke but it came out sounding a bit too sincere. hobbes and matt were really the only two who ever got to see this side of hawk, occasionally his family depending on the situation but he felt comfortable being himself around these two. he rolled his eyes at the dramatics and gave matts shoulder a quick shove as he laughed. "it's not like he's wearin' his own clothes anyway, he practically steals everythin' i wear," hawk commented about matt.

Hobbes: He almost responded 'Hawk knows' before thinking better of it. Now was not the time. There were strict boundaries, rules to be followed. Otherwise, the easy order of what Hobbes had built with both of them would crumble. "You mean that?" Hobbes asked in response to Matt's offer, glancing at the man with raised brows. He looked back down at the shirt, "…Thanks, Matt…" It was a soft shit. And it smelt faintly of Matt too. There was something almost too comforting abut how they were set up now, too familiar. It reminded him of how he and his wife used to hole up on the couch with monsters and junk food. She'd rest her feet on him and yell at those stupid shows where they made a big to-do about who was or was NOT the father. He hadn't had that in so long…

When he reached for his beer it was almost sudden, finishing the one he had open before taking a swig of a second. "…I don't want to intrude or nothing if… you know… y'all want to spend time together. I get it. We can always finish the game another day Matt. Really I was just supposed to keep you company til' Hawk got home…"

Matt: He took Hawk's hand and made him hold the plate of nacho's now so he didn't need to keep holding onto it. "Having a soft side, as we've learned isn't a bad thing, babe." He rolled his eyes some. "I'm swearing his jumper right now." Matt flapped his arm then looked over at Hobbes. "I mean that, keep it." He confirmed with a smile.

"You're not intruding, you're our friend. Sit and stay." Matt patted the spot next to him on the couch. "I'm sure this one won't mind if we finished the game, will you babe? You don't even need to stick around if you don't want to. I know you're not a fan."

Hawk: hawk took the plate of nachos in his free hand since matt didn't want to hold them anymore and kind of made a face at matts comment, "yeah i know yer right just hard to get outta my shell i guess." hawk admitted. he rolled his eyes right back at him but for hawk it was about the fact he was wearing his hoodie but made no comment on it.

he frowned a little at how quickly hobbes seemed to want to leave since he'd gotten there. "when have ya ever intruded hobbes?" hawk added onto matts comment. "no i won' mind and it's fine, i wanna stay. i wanna learn more about the things ya like." was that directed towards the both of them? a little bit.

Hobbes: “Well we never really did this before…” Hobbes responded, “And you never…” he paused. Hawk never had a partner and he and Hobbes hadn’t really talked about it. Matt and Hobbes being friends complicated things slightly. It was easier for Hobbes to keep people in boxes. Since Hanna died he pushed most ‘friends’ away and kept the people he did interact with safely at arms length. Dedicated to them but never letting them worry about him. Duck was a good example.

Hawk had always been smoking, drinking, and the occasional fuck. It was almost methodical. Matt now acted as a soft, warm, binder between the two of them. Hobbes was loyal to a fault, and when Matt asked him to come over or sit and stay he had a hard time saying no.

He took a moment before sliding onto the couch, sandwiching Matt between him and Hawk. He ran a hand over the back of his neck.

“We’ll finish the game then, then I’ll get on down the road.”

Matt: Matt looked between them with a raised eyebrow but said nothing, none of his business, if they told him, they told him but honestly, Matt wasn't stupid but still said nothing.

When Hobbes sat next to him, he cheered and threw his arms around their shoulders and brought them closer to him. "Two very warm bodies." Matt gave them both a squeeze then kissed both on the heads and finally turned his attention back to the TV.

"Okay, we're watching some rugby because that's my favourite sport."

Hawk: what hobbes meant by ‘he never’ hawk would remain clueless about which was fine, maybe it was better that way anyway. it was easy to tell that matt was catching on that there might’ve been more to hawk and hobbes than what they’ve let on because they weren’t exactly being subtle about it but then matt threw in a curveball which made hawk raise his own eyebrow in response.

he looked behind matt’s head trying to see hobbes reaction to what just happened and noticed his ears were bright red, the same way they get with him sometimes. “what’s rugby?” hawk asked trying to fill the silence while hobbes seemed frozen in time which made him chuckle a little. since his arm was already around matt’s shoulder and he’d just pulled hobbes closer it was easier to do this, hawk flicked hobbes ear gently and smiled over at him, “earth to hobbes, ya good over there dude?”

Hobbes: No, Hawk. Hobbes wasn’t good. Because Matt just kissed him on the goddamn forehead.

He smacked Hawk’s hand. Shaking his head to toss his damp hair to cover his ears.

“Shut the fuck up. You know what rugby is.” He knew and Hawk knew he wasn’t telling Hawk to shut up over rugby. “S’like football but also not at all. — Sorry. S’like American football.” He added for Matt. As someone who’s played both it was easy enough for Hobbes to point out the differences. “Matter fact, it’s probably closer to soccer.” Again he added for Matt, “— or football. Happy?” He couldn’t help buy miss having Matt’s arm around him. It had been literal years since he had someone crawl onto the couch with him to cuddle. He tried to ignore how much he missed it. But now it was hard.

So he would force himself. He leaned back, resting his elbow on the arm of the couch. It was an attempt to keep himself on his own cushion. If his knee still brushed next to Matt’s it was merely a coincidence.

Matt: Was he a snob about the terms used? Yes so when Hobbes added both, he smirked a bit. He did let him go though and focused on getting closer to Hawk instead, leaning right up against him.

"It's a good explanation." Matt nodded with approval then kissed Hawk on the cheek, slipping his hand into his. "So this is just a recording of one of the six nations matches."

Hawk: hawk tried to process everything they were saying and just got increasingly more confused at hobbes changing from football to soccer to american football and all the which ways this man does not know sports terms let alone the difference in sports between countries.

when he noticed that matt had let him go and hobbes sunk to the arm rest he couldn’t help the slight frown, but smiled at matt, getting closer to him as well. hawks arm stayed around matt’s shoulder and the back of the couch as he watched and it was almost as if it was on instincts that hawks fingertips found hobbes shoulder letting them rest there gently. “so this is what you two do when i’m not around?”

Hobbes: Hobbes rested his chin in the palm of his hand. He exhaled through his nose at the fingertips resting on his shoulder.

His instinct was to excuse himself to smoke but he couldn't. So he chewed on his bottom lip instead, brow slightly furrowed as he tried to stay focused on the television.

"When you're not around we're usually screaming at the tv." He eyed Matt, teasing, "He's acting all sweet now but just wait til the referee does some dumb shit. Turns into a lil British monster."

Matt: "We also shag." Matt teased then laughed. "What the fuck are you on about mate? I am sweet as fuck." He reached over and pushed Hobbes for that. "Fun fact for the pair of ya, when I was in my 20's, me and some of me mates used to go to Liverpool in our Man U shirts, stand outside Liverpool's stadium and piss the fans off for fun. I got arrested for trespassing once, I only put my leg up over a barrier because Liverpool fans are pussys." He nodded once he finished his story then cleared his throat.

"Anyway… I like the footie ok? I like rugby too and shouting at the ref is a national past time at home." His accent had shifted back to normal now he was finished with his story.

Hawk:: "oh trust me i've seen when he's not sweet," hawk commented, rubbing at his chin to try and hide the smirk that was trying to form on his lips and focused in on the tv. then at the tease hawk chuckled a little unable to help himself, "without me? rude."

he really did try and understand what matt was saying but man was it hard, something about being arrested and whatever the fuck footie was so hawk just stared at matt confused, "i've not a clue what ya just said babe."

Hobbes: "He just confirmed what I said." Hobbes responded, adding a mumbled, "(I think…)" A half smile against his hand at the shove. He wasn't watching the game anymore, eyes staring at nothing for a moment. "No, we don't fuck, Hawk, don't worry. But he does beat me up. Can't speak on what kind of sick pleasure Matt gets out of that though." No wonder Matt and Hawk were together. They both were gluttons for punishment. He took a swig from his beer at such a realization, eyes finding anywhere else to look at and landing on the curtains. "…Shit." He pulled out his phone - it really just served as his watch now and a photo album. "It got late." He stood to peek through the curtains, "I should probably head out now if I want to get home." again he glanced at the time, "If I can get home…"

Matt: He glanced between them, expecting them to know what he was on about but when they didn't, he shook his head some. "You Americans." He nodded, confirming that he does indeed beat him up. "You don't have to leave, there's a spare bedroom and it's gonna be dark in a little while." Matt didn't want Hobbes to have to run home and still get caught out there. "I can make up the bed in no time."

Hawk: hawk ruffled matts hair about the americans comment and watched as hobbes got up to look out the curtains, god did he hate when people did that but that was his own personal issue. he wanted to pretend the night didn't even exist in this town and got well enough in ignoring the whispers that would try and lure him out, especially those of his brothers. hawk got up and off the couch, heading for the front door making sure he'd locked it before and now standing in front of it to block hobbes from leaving. "i'm not lettin' ya go home now, it's way too late, like matt and said and like ya already know i've got sparerooms." he was protective of the people he cared about, hawk was scared of loosing either of them in anyway and the thought of hobbes trying to run home and still possibly getting caught made him feel sick as he pointed back at the couch, "so sit yer ass back down." he might've sounded a little more stern than he was intended but if it got the point across then it did its job.

Hobbes: "If I left now I could get home…" Hobbes began in response to Matt when he turned to face Hawk who was now acting as some sort of barricade. For a moment he was at a loss for words. He should have left when Hawk got in. And yes, it was silly. Yes, Hobbes had stayed over Hawk's in the past but only in very specific capacities. Yes, he knew Matt and Hawk were together but Hobbes had never been witness to their domestic home life. And that was easier for him. Because it didn't remind him of what he lost.

Now the balance was completely thrown and it left Hobbes feeling anxious, and sad, and frustrated.

His eyes narrowed.

"…Since when the fuck do I take orders from you, Hawk?" He took a step forward into Hawk's space, "If I want to leave and go home, I'm going to leave and go home. I don't have an issue movin' your ass. How bout that?"

Matt: Matt watched carefully then winced some when it started to escalate but he hung back a little. "Babe… maybe you should just let him go then." He suggested calmly. "It's still light enough and those things will still be far enough that he'll make it." Matt then got off the couch when Hobbes stepped into Hawk's space.

"Guys, come on. We're all supposed to be friends here hanging out." He moved closer just in case one tried to punch the other or something, he was fully prepared to pull off whoever starts it. "Hawk, have another beer and let Hobbes go."

Hawk: "since yer tryna get yourself fuckin' killed hobbes," hawk took a step back now pressed against the door when hobbes stepped into his space not wanting to fight him. he glanced at matt at the suggestion and felt.. almost angry that he'd even suggest something like that so close to dusk. "have you seen how fast those things can run? no one has a chance i don' care how fast someone says they can run they're not human."

and then matt was suggesting to let him go again , "would you quit tellin' me to let him go?! no! the answers no! i'm not lettin' either of you step outside of this fuckin' house right now, not anymore. i can't. i won't." hawk was in full panic mode at this point but was trying not to show it so much. he knows hobbes strength despite his size, he knows if hobbes really wanted too he could easily move hawk from the door and maybe that's why he chose to be pressed up against it. "would you just fuckin' listen to me for once hobbes?" he was looking down at him, quite literally pleading with his eyes before whispering, "please."

Hobbes: Hobbes hands rose to run over his brow, frustrated for no reason. He knew Hawk was right but couldn't form the right words to explain what was bothering him.

Of course Hobbes didn't want to hurt Hawk. He would never.

"Alright." he responded quietly, "Alright."

He didn't know what to do with his hands, curling them into his palm tightly then releasing them then curling them again. Stuck in place, unsure what to do he chewed down on his bottom lip again til it bled.

"Sorry. I don't know what's fuckin' wrong with me…"

Usually when Hobbes had moments of panic like this he was alone. Trembling by himself in an empty house. And they were the most miserable awful feeling. Now Hawk and Matt were there and he wasn't sure if that was better or worse yet.

Matt: "There's no need to shout at me, Hawk! He's clearly feeling trapped right now, now move." Matt went over and took hold of Hawk's arm, gently guiding him away from the door then took his hand, giving it a squeeze before slowly pulling him into a hug, clearly something had been going on there to cause him to panic. "It's okay." He shhed him softly then glanced over at Hobbes.

"Like I said, I can make the spare room up for you in a bit." He sighed heavily. "You're just frightened, I can see that. It's a lot safer here but if you really want to leave then the door's there." Matt pointed to it. "If you don't, then go sit somewhere and calm down." He kept his voice soft and steady for both of them. "Everything's fine."

Hawk: hawk never shouted at matt before and the moment he pointed it out he felt instant guilt as he looked at his feet, letting matt move him away from the door and hugging him back tightly as if it was his way of apologizing for it. he wasn't used to being vulnerable around either of them and was only just getting used to it with matt so when he felt like tears were about to spill over he glanced at hobbes after matt pointed at the door. "please stay," hawk whispered, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him into the hug as well even if that's not what hobbes might have wanted, "i can't lose you. i can't lose either of you." he mumbled resting his chin on matts head.

Hobbes: Hobbes was going to leave. He needed to break and smoke and drink and be alone to figure out why this all was such an issue or (more realistically) ignore what happened entirely. It would be fine. He’d leave tonight and then the next time they could fix this. They could set things back to normal they could…

But Hawk had caught his hand and was even more upset than before. His eyes found Matt’s then.

This is why I shoulda left.

When he spoke again it was almost like he was in a trance. Like he had some form of deep silent revelation.

“I know where the spare room is.” He spoke directly to Matt. “You stay with him…” he pressed Hawk’s hand into Matt’s. Then made his way to the spare bedroom.

Matt: Matt took hold of Hawk's hand, watching Hobbes leave to go to the spare room and frowned some. After a couple of minutes, he pulled away from the hug for a second. "Leave him, he'll show his face when he's ready to again. Come on." Matt led him over to the couch and sat down, pulling Hawk down with him so he was lying against his chest. While he sat there with Hawk on him, he stroked his hair and decided to continue watching the game while he waited for Hawk to calm down.

Hawk: hawk just nodded as he watched hobbes disappear into the spare room, moving with matt to the couch and wrapping his arms through the cushions so they could be wrapped around matt. he closed his eyes and just focused on matts heartbeat to ground himself from everything until he opened them again to look at the tv. "i'm sorry," hawk mumbled against his chest, "i just.. i thought of him gettin' attacked by one of the monsters and i panicked."

Matt: He sat in silence for a little bit, stroking at Hawk's hair still, he seemed to be calming down judging by the fact that his breathing was no longer panicked. So he glanced down when he spoke. "I know, it's okay to be concerned but you went about it wrong and you know what? So did he." Matt shook his head a little. "You didn't have to yell at me, you know? I was just trying to stop you from practically throwing your body on Hobbes' to stop him from leaving but I get it, you panicked, it's okay now. Are you feeling any better?"

Hawk: ‘you went about it wrong’

that seems to be the only thing hawks good at doing is going about everything the wrong way no matter who it was, a stranger, family, someone he cared about, he doesn’t know the right way. “i know,” he whispered looking up at him finally, squeezing him tighter again when matt said he didn’t have to yell at him.

that same guilt from before hit wanting to retreat into himself and hide. “i’m so sorry i yelled at you, i’m really fuckin’ sorry.” now he hid his face into matt’s chest trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him, “not really but i’ll be fine.” at least it wasn’t his heart this time.

Matt: Matt sighed softly as his features softened up too, he couldn't stay like this with him for long, clearly there was something more going on here. "I forgive you." He told him softly then put his head back on the couch. "Can I ask you a question though?" Matt glanced at him again. "And I really need you to be honest with me because judging by your behavour then, there's something more going on?" He asked straight up, unable to hold the question back any longer.

Hawk: hawk was able to crack a small smile as matt forgave him but that was soon taken away when he wanted to ask him a question and felt his heart start racing all over again. he ran a hand through his hair and stood up from the couch, reaching out for matts hand. "not here," hawk had every intention on being honest with matt, he always was and always will be no matter what and what he was about to say he didn't want hobbes to potentially overhear. he waited for matt to get up and led him to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them and sat himself on the bed letting go of matts hand to let him choose if he wanted to sit or stand.

"hobbes and i, we hooked up in the past, it was usually when one or the other needed to just fuck to forget," at least for hawk it started off that way, "we haven't done anythin' since you and i got together i promise you that but." he had to pause and look down at his hands afraid to admit the next thing in fear it'll push matt away, "at some point i realized i liked him the same way i liked you, not love but i know i feel the same way i felt about him that i felt about you when we first got together."

Matt: Matt got up and followed Hawk into the bedroom, closing the door behind them then crossed his arms over his chest, listening to what he was telling him and letting him finish before speaking. "Okay, one, I figured out that you guys had fucked like five minutes into meeting Hobbes, so that isn't anything new just a confirmation if anything and two, what do you wanna do about it?" He asked now.

Hawk: he looked up at matt now, well that was one way to know that matt already knew and he was being honest that him and hobbes haven't done anything since then. "i-" hawk furrowed his eyes a little looking back down, "i don' know." he shrugged a little, "i wanna respect that you said you want it to be just us, i don' wanna push ya into anythin' cause then i'll just feel worse about it all."

Matt: He moved his hands onto his hips now then glanced up at the ceiling before heading over to Hawk and kissed his lips. "We'll see, ok? But fucking hell, you have to tell him at some point, the tension that comes off you around him is tense, relax." He put his hands on his shoulders. "Everything's ok, I'm not mad, I've forgiven you and heard you out."

Hawk: hawk wrapped his arms around matt as he kissed him and rested his head against his stomach for a second before moving his head back to look up at him, "no, i can' do that, not to hobbes. you saw how he got out there i don' wanna make him feel that way, not again." even though he really really wanted to tell him but he wasn't sure how it'd go and was afraid to find out. hawk nodded and took a deep breath in, using the hands on his shoulders and matts words to keep himself grounded. "can you go check on him? please? i'm sorry if that's askin' a lot i'm just… i'm worried." that and he needed a moment alone.

Matt: He rested a hand on top of his head and stroked his fingers through his hair, honestly? He didn't even know what to say about the entire thing and finding out the guy you love also likes someone else? Matt knew what he was but it didn't stop it from stinging any less. At it was now out in the open between them. "Ok, alright. Well, I'm leaving the choice to you because it's not my thing to tell him." He shrugged some. Matt leaned down to kiss him a little more deeply. "I love you." He kissed him once more then pulled away, nodding. "Of course I will." Matt had to get one more kiss in before leaving their room to go check on Hobbes.

Hawk: god when the fuck was the guilt going to stop? no matter what he said or the more hawk said he didn't feel any less guilty for admitting to the man he loves that yeah he has feelings for someone else. sure he'd told matt he was poly but he wasn't expecting this conversation to hurt as much as it was in this moment. who wouldn't feel hurt about hearing that kind of stuff? hawk was at least glad matt had agree'd not to tell hobbes because maybe eventually he'd tell him himself. "thank you," he whispered right before matt kissed him, kissing him back just as deep and sighing softly against his lips. "i love you too," hawk held onto the back of matts neck to have their foreheads touching just needing that contact in that moment and let go as he kissed him again.

he gave matt an appreciative smile since he'd said he'd check on him and waited for matt to leave, closing the door behind him and climbed back into bed. matt had never seen hawk when he hits one of his lows and if he had anything to say about it, it would stay that way while he climbed back into the bed and barried his face into the pillow, holding onto it as he just silently let the tears fall now that threatened to spill over earlier.

Matt: When the door closed, he just stood there silently for a couple of minutes then took a deep breath and headed down the hall to the other rooms, the first one he checked there was no Hobbes in that one so moved to the next door and knocked on. "Hobbes? Can I come in?"

Hobbes: He’d been siting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands for he didn’t know how long. His hair had dried by the time Matt called to him, voice muffled by the door.

His head shot up.

“Yeah.. Course…” he exhaled.

Was it better that Matt came to check up on him rather than Hawk? Like most everything about tonight it was a complicated prospect.

He waited for the door to close behind Matt before running a hand over his mouth.

“…I’m sorry. About. Whatever the fuck happened out there.” He forced his gaze from the wall to look at Matt, “Remember when you asked me about Hawk? When we first met? Yes. We were fuckin’ but it was just sex. It was supposed to be just sex. And us? Hangin’ out was just supposed to be hangin’ out and now I’m in your shirt and that’s the only fuckin’ thing keeping me grounded right now. That’s fucked.” He stood, pacing, his voice hushed, “And now… now I’m… I’m fuckin’ worried that…” he shook his head, willing himself to stop, “…Forget it. Bottom line is I’m a fuckin’ asshole. And Hawk loves you. I’m sure I’m just getting all worked up for no reason. So I’m sorry.” He pushed curls off his forehead, “You’re a really good friend that’s what I was trying to thank you for earlier and I’m the asshole.”

“You’re always so good and sweet to me and I’m freaking the fuck out over nothing.”

Matt: He waited for confirmation before going in (what do u mean? He's still polite) and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

Matt shrugged some. "It happened, you wanted to leave and Hawk tried to stop you… in a way he shouldn't have but we spoke." He put his hands in his pockets, not moving from where he was leaning while Hobbes spoke. "Worried about what? You can tell me, it's only me." He gestured to himself. He shook his head when Hobbes called himself an asshole. "You're not an arsehole, clearly something happened but you're still not an arsehole."

He moved closer now and put his hands on his shoulders and gave them a squeeze, hoping it would help him calm down more. "Well, I can't help being good and sweet. You've seen outside and the shit we've got to live in, why add to the collection of arseholes who will have no trouble throwing others out there if it meant saving their own skins."

Hobbes: “Worried that the lines had blurred.” He answered honestly. When hands found Hobbes’ shoulders one of Hobbes’ own rose to rest atop Matt’s. It happened without him even thinking about it, continuing with a shake of his head, “But how fuckin’ full of myself can I be, huh?” He looked back up at Matt then, small smile pulling at his lips.

“You’re a good man, Matt.”

There was a parallel there.. between ‘throwing people out’ because it was easier and how Hobbes pushed people away in attempt to protect both parties from what he felt was inevitable pain, because that was easier than loss. But Hobbes was too many beers in and too tired to think about that right now.

“He’s a lucky guy.”

Matt: He sighed a little, maybe the lines were a little blurred now after what Hawk had told him, his feelings for Hobbes. Matt turned his hand around and gave Hobbes' a squeeze before taking it away and sitting himself on the bed. "You and Hawk need to talk this through." Matt glanced at him. "But leave it till the morning when you're both, hopefully feeling better emotionally."

"He's an extremely lucky guy." Then he dropped a hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze. "You good? Do you need a hug too?" He offered.

Hobbes: Matt’s answer didn’t help ease Hobbes’ concerns. His brow furrowed.

“…Why’d you sigh like that?”

He followed Matt to the bed, sitting next to him.

“Extremely? Now that might be an overstatement.” He tried for a joke, responding to Matt’s question by wrapping his arms around him. Hobbes couldn’t remember the last time he went out of his way to hug someone. Not a half hug, a true hug. It very well might not have been since before Hanna passed.

“Don’t change, man.” He murmured into Matt’s shoulder. His eyes closed for a moment, savoring the moment. “No one calls me this. And it feels like a shitty time to tell you. But if we’re bein’ honest tonight I might as well…” he pulled away, “My name’s Ruben. Hobbes is my last. Just… realized I never told you that. And feel like you should know.”

Matt: He shook his head in response because what Hawk told him wasn't stinging any less right now, he knew he needed to come to terms with it and he will sooner or later.

"Oh please, we both know I'm out of his league." He joked back with a chuckle. "Oh." Matt hadn't expected Hobbes to just launch himself into the offered hug but wrapped his arms around him anyway, giving him a proper hug.

"I tried to be a football hooligan once, it didn't work out so it's safe to say I won't be changing any time soon." He shook his head a little then raised a brow slightly after he told him that and dropped his arms. "Hm, you don't look like a Ruben. You look more like a Mike or a Tyler." He was kidding of course and sighed all dramatically. "I guess I can accept this information."

Hobbes: Matt still wasn’t telling him something, Hobbes knew that.

His hand involuntary moved to his back pocket for a pack of cigarettes that wasn’t there anymore. Instead he found a mint, popping it in his mouth and almost choking when he laughed.

“Mike?” for the first time a full smile appeared on his face, hand moving to push hair off his forehead, amused, “I know I’m I dumb athlete but sheesh.” Next Matt’ll say he looks like a Toby or worse a Cody.

Arms now free he leaned back on his elbows on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Anyway the only people who called me Ruben were my folks. And they’re dead… And Hanna called me Roo.” And Matt knew she was passed, “Feel like I’m not really a Roo anymore either…” like a part of him had died with her and that was a depressing thought.

“…Hawk ok? I should probably go apologize to him too, huh?”

Matt: As much as Matt wanted to tell him, it was Hawks business and he needed to tell him himself so all Matt could do was suck it up and push those feelings down.

"Mike." He repeated with a smile and didn't even help when he nearly choked on the mint. "I think it's the blonde more like." He chuckled some.

"It's okay if you don't feel like Roo any more, things changed for you. I think Hobbes is very fitting." Matt looked down at him.

"Hawk's not okay but give him some space till the morning okay? I'll cook some breakfast to lure him out of bed."

Hobbes: “Oh, so I’m a dumb blonde now.” He teased. His voice trailed however as Matt continued, “… It’s less I don’t feel like Roo anymore.” He searched the ceiling for answers, “More like he’s been lost for a long time and I don’t know how to get him back… If I can…” sleepy gaze returned to Matt’s, “That make sense?”

He examined Matt’s face for a moment.

Don’t push.

But at this point Hobbes wasn’t sure his his original strategy of not pushing too hard or asking too many questions was the real problem.

“Why don’t you wake me up? I’ll help you.” He held Matt’s gaze, “I mean it. I’m not good in the kitchen but, wake me up, ok?” He waited for confirmation, sat in silence for a moment.

He shifted to his side.

“What about you? You ok?”

Matt: He listened and nodded some. "Maybe he'll come back to you at some point." Then Matt got off the bed. "Fingers crossed." Then he headed to the door.

"We'll see." Matt gave him a smile. "Maybe the smell will lure you out too." Now he raised an eyebrow at the question. "I'm always okay." Matt opened the door. "Get some rest."

Hobbes: His brow furrowed.

“…You’re allowed to not be, Matt. Hold on.” He stood now but stayed put by the bed. He thought better of going after him. The last thing he wanted was to crowd Matt. “……Alright. You too.”

Matt: Matt didn't actually go bed that night, just stayed up, cleaned everything up and watched more matches until the sun came up. That's when he left the house.

Hobbes: Hobbes didn’t sleep much either. He was a light sleeper anyway, and was often up early for work. He waited for the knock from Matt that never came before venturing into the quiet house.

He poked his head into Hawks room where only one body laid sleeping. Then fo the kitchen. Then to the living room. Then out to the front porch.

“Shit… Fuck.”

He pulled on his hat then work jacket over the borrowed clothes, pulling on heavy duty boots when he went back to Hawk’s room. He wondered if he had time to search for Matt before waking Hawk but knew that Hawk getting up to an empty house would be equally as stressful.

“Yo, Hawk. Wake up. Hey.” He shook Hawk’s shoulder, “Does Matt go on morning walks?”

Hawk: some point during hawks silent cry while matt was talking to hobbes it turned into exhaustion until he eventually passed out for the night. it was a weird sleep almost as if even unconscious he knew something was missing.

maybe that’s why it was pretty easy for hobbes to wake him up by just shaking his shoulder which usually wouldn’t. hawk jerked awake, staring in front of him silently as if the words that were said were foreign to him until they finally processed. “what?” he looked up to see hobbes then looked next to him to the empty bed, jumping out of bed now. “no he doesn’t.”

hawk wasn’t trying to seem like he was ignoring hobbes when he went past him and into the kitchen where the was of course no matt to be found and the panic he felt last night came back in that moment. “where the fuck is he, where did he go, hobbes i fucked up man this is all my fault i fucked up. where is he?!”

Hobbes: He followed after Hawk, grabbing a pair of the man’s shoes ans holding them out.

“I already checked the house. I don’t know, Hawk! That’s why I woke you. — You want to take the commune, I’ll take the garage?” He asked, already in go-mode.

Hawk: he grabbed the shoes from hobbes and put them on quickly, shaking his head, “no, you should take the commune. i cant promise i won’ fight some fucker while i’m there cause i know one of thems gonna say somethin’ smart.”

Hobbes: “Copy. I’ll take the commune. — Hold on…” He pulled out his talkie as he bounded down the front porch stairs, “Ay-O. Miss Sugar. This is Ruben Hobbes. Radio check. Over.”

The mechanics’ voice was static but clear enough over.

“Go ahead!”

“Matt come into work today?”

“Negative.” A pause, “Why?”

“If you see him can you let him know we’re lookin’ for him Miss Sugar?” He responded without going into detail.

“…Roger.”

“Thank you. Out. — Not at the garage.” He called to Hawk, “I’d start wherever else he likes to go in town. You got a radio on you?”

Hawk: no point in changing obviously there was more important things to worry about so his sweats and hoodie are there to stay, listening to the conversation while he thought of where matt might be.

hawk held up his radio in response, “always,” it came out as a mumble.

“i’ll check the diner and video store first, let you know if i find him there. let me know if you find him at the commune yeah?”

Hobbes: He merely nodded, one hand firm against Hawk’s bicep. It was his way of saying, We’ll find him before bounding off towards the commune.

Hawk: hawk didn’t react to the hand on his bicep, not right now, not with the way he felt about this all being his fault

’i shoulda just let him leave then nona this would’ve happened.’

he shook that thought away real fast, following hobbes out the door and off in the direction of the diner first.

Matt: Matt rounded a corner with two bags full of produce, chowing down on the strawberries. He paused when he saw them about to split off to find him so raised an eyebrow. "Hey guys, what you doing?" Matt offered them the strawberries. "I got up early to get the best produce of the day." He held up the bags that were draped over his arms. "We didn't have any eggs for the breakfast I wanna make but hey, now I do." Then he looked between them. "What?"

Hobbes: Hobbes literally made a little dent in the top soil when he skidded to a stop. He took his sunglasses off to run his hands over his face.

“Fuuuuck me.”

A hand shot out to rest against a nearby tree, the other found his knee. He felt like he was going to throw up. Like he’d just run a god damn mile and needed to catch his breath.

Hawk: all hawk could do was blink when he saw matt just casually walk up to them right before they parted.

he grabbed matt’s face with both his hands, pulling him into a kiss and then pulled away, smacking him upside the head in the process.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?! you couldn’t have left a note?”

Matt: "Hey babe." Matt smiled and kissed him back before flinching at the smack. "Hey!" He couldn't even rub his head then looked between them. "Were you worried about me? Sorry, it's Saturday, I usually go the market at this time and get some fresh produce. You're usually sleeping like a log, Hawk that you don't even notice when I'm getting dressed and leaving. Hobbes is our first overnight visitor. Sorry guys, I didn't even think about leaving a note."

Hobbes: Hobbes exhaled slowly through his nose. “Yeah, Matt. We were…” he moved back towards the house to grab his backpack, hefting it over his shoulder.

“Thank you for the clothes. I’ll wash em and bring em back next time. Think I’ve overstayed my welcome.” This was the feeling he’d been trying to avoid, that ache in his chest. “I know we,” he motioned to Hawk, “Gotta talk at some point. But it don’t got to be over eggs. You two enjoy your breakfast.” It was almost like… a switch went of in his head. He was speaking to them like civilians, like he was Deputy Game Warden Ruben Hobbes and not… just Hobbes. Silly, tired Hobbes. No… he was just tired.

“You know where to find me, man.” He said, only briefly meeting Hawks gaze before finding Matt’s, “I’m glad you’re ok, Matt. I’ll see y’all… Whenever you want me.”

Hawk: as much as hawk wanted to stop hobbes, the last time that happened it did not go over well so he’d leave the trying to convince him to stay up to matt and just nodded. truthfully he didn’t want to talk to hobbes about it but knew either him or matt were gonna get sick of him not saying something anyway but that felt like a future problem. “i guess we’ll see ya around then hobbes.”

he grabbed the groceries from matt, leaning over to whisper, “talk to him,” then kissed his cheek, going inside with the bags now.

Matt: Matt watched as Hobbes gathered his things and proclaimed that he was going home, that's fair enough. Then he was left alone with him, why did he have to convince him to stay? Matt watched Hawk go back into the house then looked at Hobbes. "I'm making eggs benedict." He shrugged his shoulders some. "I'm a banging cook but it's your choice, I'm not gonna stop you from leaving."

Hobbes: He shook his head, having overheard Hawk’s request but not stopping to turn til Matt spoke.

“Matt, enjoy your morning with your boyfriend.” And with that he threw his sunglasses back on, offered a gentle, “I’ll see you.” Before heading out “Oh and thanks for everything.”

#hawk:threads #ft. matt #ft. hobbes #long post #it's so long im so sorry #if you find typos or mistakes mind your business

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