#it's the disconnect and apathy for me

[anewp0tat0]

maybe it's because of the worse image quality, or maybe it's cause Ciel is drawn to be much more ÙwÚ baby nowadays in comparison. but I swear, other than older, he used to look scarier

[geryone]

Doing my laundry & feeling a longing for love so deeply & painfully that I remember I’m alive

[icharchivist]

i mean i get why it sucks but i've been having an existential crisis that keeps me up at night for most of my life too and i'm not producing people expressly to abuse them and use them as tools about it. Astrals are just on something else i guess

i'd say it's a question of scale in general, as in an existential crisis coming so deeply from a whole different life in your head would fuck someone up much more. but anyway i keep saying Lucilius' way to treat other is bad, in those same posts in fact, just that his issues with depersonalization/derealization are also extremely compelling and actually make me feel bad for him. Those two feelings can coexist, and i don't mean that you have to be nicer to him or anything. i'm just saying he's still an interesting character.

[eric-the-bmo]

[head in hands] oughghgghhhhhh

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Talk on nihilism.

I just find it funny how most of society/the world sees nihilism as just not caring or being too depressed since nothing matters. Or how a lot of people see it as bad cause "if you don't care then you'll love a sad life!"

While I'm over here like apathy and nihilism has allowed me to better cope with my trauma. I tell my mom and she thinks it's sad that I don't care like I used to. But it's so freeing to not care about every little thing.

Like yeah, there's downsides with it and some people can become severely depressed from it (I know I did when I was much younger.) But knowing that nothing matters has helped me feel more in control, learn to unmask, as well as inspired me to live the way I want to. Nothing matters so why can't I identify however I want? Nothing matters so who cares if people stare when I stim in public? Nothing matters and I will never see these strangers again that are probably judging me.

Obviously it's not perfect cause I have disorders that seem to be opposites and it's just how it is. But apathy and nihilism has given me such a sense of freedom and helped me better cope with my disorders in many ways. And of course apathy and nihilism have their bad parts. Too much of anything is a bad thing of course. But this post is directed towards people that see it as entirely bad like my mother. I've found freedom in not caring. I've gotten better at caring for myself and unmasking because there is no point to life, because none of this matters. This isn't going to matter when I die. How I felt embarrassed that one time when people stared at me cause I "acted weird" is not going to matter when I die. It's given me a lot of friend and allowed me to better unmask not only my autistic traits, but also to unmask my demonized traits like me being narcissistic or arrogant or all the parts of me I've been made fun of for. It's helped me learn to be okay when posting online or making comments and to be more unapologetically me. I've been on the side of caring too much for so so so long and had it used against me many times. So for me, personally, becoming apathetic and allowing myself to feel that way, feel hollow, feel things less instead of thinking it makes me a monster is freeing. And for me personally, seeing how nothing matters and we all die eventually so what's the point has given me more of a lust for life than when I thought I HAD to have a purpose.

This is just my experience and my thoughts and feelings. But for me, it gave me control over my life when I had none and helped me to work through a lot of my issues. It isn't perfect, but it helped a lot. And it helped me be okay with a lack of control and learning to let go.

Edit: wanted to add I have had points of apathy and lack of emotion where you feel extremely detached and like you can feel nothing. Yes it has been too much and it has been bad for me. So this is merely me celebrating something that I have been flat out told is bad and means I have a sad life. This is not to ignore that actual problems can come with apathy too and how it can feel to just not care. Cause I do have those moments too :p

[tigoteus]

actually hysterical how i could have had an 8th grade emo phase if i'd been 1% less apathetic about the fact that i had 0 friends

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Oh to have someone who would notice when I haven't showered in a few days and ask if I'm ok without making me feel bad about myself...

Like yeah man I know my hair looks like shit and I smell gross I really don't need to have another person point that out to me I am aware and I feel yucky but I'm just kind of out of it and everything feels like too much and idk what to do

I know I would feel better if I get clean, but showering just sounds like so much effort somehow and I feel oddly avoidant about it, especially knowing that once I'm in I really won't wanna get out, but there are other people who live here and I can't just hog the bathroom all day

Besides, I'll just feel all gross again tomorrow or maybe the next day if I'm lucky, so what's even the point?

[sy-on-boy]

Real talk: the fact that Anya expects to read Demetrius’ mind but sees nothing is kind of sad because Demetrius saw his 6yo brother approach and congratulate him, and had zero thoughts in his brain. But that doesn’t mean Demetrius doesn’t care about him. When Damian stutters, Demetrius initiates conversation by talking about Damian’s grades, showing that he indeed pays attention.

Demetrius seems almost resentful by Damian’s insistence to impress Donovan, giving out a snarky, passive aggressive, teen appropriate response: “How would I know? It’s not as if I’m in regular contact with him.” This is like the passive aggressive version of whatever is going on with Melinda. Damian is a relatively innocent 6yo kid seeking his father’s approval, but both his mother and his brother appear to be seriously affected (in a bad way) by Donovan, and they avoid talking about Donovan even as Damian repeatedly mentions him. Demetrius doesn’t understand Damian’s desire for their father’s approval. He also doesn’t understand his father, hinting at some sort of disconnect between them.

What also saddens me a bit is how Demetrius barely acknowledged Damian’s friends talking to him. Like, they’re six year old kids trying to make a good impression. Still, Demetrius didn’t completely ignore them, just gave a meaningless “oh” and decided to stop thinking about people. It’s very much giving “stressed (and depressed) to the point of apathy”. When facing the innocence (ignorance?) and optimism of 6yo kids, Demetrius doesn’t understand. (And maybe he doesn’t understand friendship, which is what Damian has?)

I mentioned before that characters Anya met are probably “good” characters on the side of Forgers or at least are sympathetic to readers. Because if Anya met a “bad” character and read their mind, she would be too OP and the plot could be quickly solved. It’s like how we all thought Melinda was suspicious when she met Yor, but then Anya met Melinda and read her mind to reveal that she cares about Damian (even if it’s in a twisted way). Demetrius is interesting because he subverts what I said above by thinking very little, so Anya cannot really read him. But so far, I think his portrayal is that of a typical middle schooler with middle school angst, and he cares about Damian even if he has zero thoughts on his brain (and doesn’t like the way Damian craves fatherly approval). He is still a child and presumably a victim of his father’s parenting.

The framing is also interesting. Damian telling his friends to go on without him while he waits for Demetrius. The panel of Demetrius towering over a stuttering Damian. Demetrius going away, showing a panel of him as a small figure in an otherwise blank background. That panel when Anya thinks Damian’s relatives are weird has her looking at Damian while he’s some distance away from her (and the rest of his friends). The brothers feel disconnected. Damian is both eager and nervous to talk to Demetrius. Demetrius is nonchalant and apathetic, but not impolite or outwardly wholly dismissive.

Given Damian’s wacky family situation, I’m glad he has friends at Eden. Ewen and Emile of course are steadfast and loyal companions, always eager to back up their beloved boss man. Anya can read his mind and she knows about his insecurities (and also his weird family).

Becky is also good as a friend because she doesn’t care about sucking up to Damian, she often calls him out, but she also supports Damian when he deserves it. A sweet scene here is Damian saying he’s a Desmond so he’s expected to get a star, and Becky adding “it’s still a great achievement. Congrats!”. Becky is validating his success and telling Damian it’s okay to be proud and happy for himself. Even though she’s usually judgemental towards Damian, she’s still kind to him because that’s who she is as a character.

In the end, Damian still wants his father’s attention. He had no idea Demetrius wasn’t that close to their father… I would assume Demetrius spent most of his time at Eden and this is Damian’s first year at Eden, so he actually gets to interact with his brother instead of hearing things about him?

So far, Demetrius seems like a very jaded character in contrast to Damian who feels like a beam of sunshine now. He’s the heir so he’s got more troubles. But it’s nice that he’s finally debuted and no longer in mystery. Can’t wait to see what Endo has in store for him :)

[sunkissedchld]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one has the silver airpods, pile two is the pink cord phone, and so on and so forth.

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".

this PAC is a collab with @icanseethefuture333, so be sure to check out their post also!

good luck to you, reader 🌷

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Signs:

"i don't forgive you", harboring anger towards someone, heavy fire (aries, leo, sagittarius) in birth chart, red, passion, danger, hera, broken marriages/family, non-committal, metatron, spiritual power, turtles, tigers, turkeys. broken headphones, "you're not listening"

Shufflemancy:

"Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" by Lil Nas X

"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen

"Blow Us All Away" from Hamilton the Musical

"Intro" by J. Cole

"Angels We Have Heard on High" by Pentatonix

"Sorry, I Love You" by Stray Kids

Cards:

Four of Cups, Knight of Cups (Rx), Six of Swords (Rx), Two of Wands, Five of Wands, Seven of Coins, The Fool (Rx), Turtle (Rx), Tiger, Turkey

Reading:

For those who chose pile one, one lesson you will encounter will be in regards to you seemingly sitting on the sidelines in life. At one point, you may feel disconnected and apathetic about life; you may think, "what's the point of doing what I'm doing if I'm not seeing any results for it." There will be times when people will try to help you enjoy life more instead of being moody and unhappy with what you're doing, but J. Cole says it best when he asks, "do you wanna be happy?". Someone might literally ask you that (or people have done so in the past), and you often say "no" without saying no by not taking action to be happy. 

Those who chose this pile may have a lot of unresolved emotional baggage they refuse to acknowledge, but your lesson will be in recognizing that baggage and unloading it. You may have been resisting a transition period in your life for as long as possible, and in 2024 that won't be allowed anymore. Saying "no" to happiness will not be an option; you will be thrown into tackling your anger, former traumas, apathy about life, etc. head on. The only real thing you can decide at this point is whether or not you're going to plan for it now that you know it's coming or allow life to take you through it however ough that may be. 

You will be pushed to be competitive about what it is you want. There may be a lot of conflict, and you may even feel jealous of others at one point; you may think, "why is it that my growth and transition is so much harder compared to everyone else's?". There may even be a point during the year where you feel as if you're guides or the universe or whoever/whatever you believe in isn't listening to you, but the truth is everyone experiences growing pains, and you have to figure out how to persevere and get over your fears the same way everyone else does. As stated before, refusing to grow and transition is not an option, but your attitude as you experience it is a choice you make; you can make it easier or harder on yourself by having an open mind. 

This year, you will be going from being a turtle to a tiger. You will no longer be allowed to take your time in regards to things in your life that are keeping you from growing into someone who is healthier and happier: mentally, physically, emotionally, and everywhere else. You will be stepping into your own power and your attitude will determine if you step into it gracefully or not. Overall, your lesson will be in learning how to free yourself from your own chains.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Signs:

"be free", the sun, heavy fixed sign energy, ceres, gemini, pluto, neptune, feeling disconnected from venus placement, having trouble speaking, 111, manifestations, "coming in", "i'm walking", "be realistic", mercedes, goose/geese

Shufflemancy:

“Love Like Woe” by The Ready Set

“One Step At a Time” by Jordin Sparks

“Are You That Somebody” by Aaliyah

“This World” by Ateez

“Can You Stand the Rain” by New Edition

“What Comes Next?” from Hamilton the Musical

Cards:

Eight of Coins (Rx), King of Swords (Rx), Five of Wands (Rx), The Hanged Man, King of Coins, Seven of Coins, The Sun, Fixed, Ceres, Sagittarius (Rx), 111, Mercury (Rx), Venus (Rx), Neptune, Pluto

Reading:

If you chose this pile, your lesson for the year deals with your self-worth and self-determination. “One Step At a Time” by Jordin Sparks seems to fit your energy best for this next year. It seems some of this energy may be lingering from last year also, but during 2024 you may feel as if you’re doing a lot of work but receiving no benefits from it. Eventually, this lack of success and recognition could wear on you, and you could wonder if what all you’re doing is even worth it. With your work, it could seem as if you do so much, but it’s just not quite enough to other people - even if you’re trying your absolute hardest. You could end up feeling unappreciated and as if you’re not advancing anywhere. 

It seems someone could be turning people away from you. For some people, this is a literal person who you may get along with, but you don’t really confront them when it comes to what they’re doing. For others of you, this is the universe purposefully blocking things from you because you’re trying to speed up the time you get certain things, and it’s telling you, “this isn’t how that works”. Regardless, there is someone or something in a higher position keeping you from reaching the success you think you deserve. This conflict will frustrate you throughout the year, and it could prove difficult for you to deal with. 

With the Hanged Man and Five of Wands (Rx), you’re being asked to compromise and re-think why you think you deserve recognition or success in a certain way. Is your reasoning valid or in good faith? Is your way really the only way you can gain what it is you’re wanting? Is what you’re wanting the best for you? I’m reminded of the meme (I guess is what it is) where a little girl is holding a small teddy bear or something, and Jesus is asking her to give it to Him, and she’s refusing, but the audience can see that He has an even bigger teddy bear for her; I feel like this will represent how your success for this year will be. You may have one view of how you want it, but that result keeps getting pushed back or thwarted because you’re thinking too small. 

The action of patience will be your most important lesson this year. “Can You Stand the Rain” fits really well for this closing part of the reading. You will be learning how to wither the storm of seemingly being overlooked and having your ideas of abundance not being given to you how and when you want in exchange for even better and more success to meet you at the end. As is always said, “patience is a virtue”.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Signs:

222, swan, itchy left palm, losing items, “i’m so sorry”, prominent sagittarius and/or gemini placements, heavy mutable energy, neptune dominant or many aspects to neptune, ducks, water, lust for nostalgia, being lost in your memories

Shufflemancy:

“In Love with Another Man” by Jazmine Sulllivan

“needy” by Ariana Grande

“Halazia” by Ateez

“Home” by Todrick Hall

“6 Foot 7 Foot” by Lil Wayne (feat. Corey Gunz)

“Put It On Da Floor Again” by Latto (feat. Cardi B)

Cards:

Queen of Cups (Rx), Six of Cups (Rx), Ace of Wands, Ten of Coins, The Sun, Six of Coins, The Emperor, Memories (Rx), Mutable (Rx), Sagittarius (Rx), Planetary Retrograde (Rx)

Reading:

For those choosing pile three, your lesson during the year will relate to you recognizing yourself more. Those who chose this pile may feel disconnected from their emotions or feel very emotionally drained last year and entering the new year. You may be very used to letting people utilize you in their lives however they want while when it comes to you needing people, they often are away or too busy to care about you. You could be prone to co-dependent relationships where you feel like you need to be needed or of help to someone and they to you, but you let them give you the bare minimum while you give your all. 

Earlier, I thought you might be someone who doesn’t like remembering things or has a hard time with their memory, but it’s actually the opposite! You’re someone who loves to get lost in the past and what used to be; the song “Could’ve Been” by H.E.R feels relevant. For some reason the energy for this pile feels very connected to a relationship that you may miss during the year. It seems you will eventually come to the realization that you’re losing yourself to the past and recognize you need to garner up the willpower to keep going for the present. You will gain the energy to begin doing things for yourself instead of for the sake of pleasing others. You will be recognizing how important you are to yourself, and/or you will be building up that importance. 

During this year, you will be building a new foundation where you do things for you. You will be focusing on your own growth and prioritizing self-care. You will learn how to put your happiness above other people's, which might be an issue you have been avoiding for a while. Rather than relying on others for emotional stability and to qualify your self-worth, you will likely end up doing a ton of introspection to discover what makes you happy solo. If you’re someone who is chronically in relationships, you may take a well-needed break in order to discover yourself like you’ve been putting off doing. 

Overall, your lesson for the new year involves being your own rock so to speak. You will be learning how to set boundaries to protect yourself from people who are no good for you because they want to be like vampires in using you. Instead, you will focus on yourself and your ideals, wants, desires, and emotions. Your lesson this year will be learning how to focus on you.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Signs:

having a lot of conjunctions in natal or solar return chart, heavy fixed energy, being born on a new moon, heavy uranus energy, “i don’t forgive you”, heavy fourth house placements and energy, “i don’t forgive you”, (oak) trees, miracles, unicorns

Shufflemancy:

“Focus” by Ariana Grande

“Hello” by J. Cole

“Lonely St.” by Stray Kids

“On It” by Jazmine Sullivan (feat. Ari Lennox)

“Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen

“New Money” by Leikeli47

Cards:

Ace of Cups, Four of Coins, The Devil, Temperance, Knight of Coins, King of Cups, Judgement, The Fool, Conjunction, Fixed, New Moon, Uranus, 4H, Trees, Miracles

Reading:

Those choosing this final pile, your lessons this year may relate to embracing new beginnings and a fresh start. For you, I’m reminded of all these rituals people are engaging in as we all enter the new year: eating black eyed peas, not washing clothes, having someone with money enter the house first, eating grapes under a table at midnight, and everything else. It seems you’re in the energy of “new year, new me”! With that, your lessons seem to relate to putting that quote to the test and seeing if you’re actually ready to embrace what comes with newness. 

You could be losing things and people this year; maybe you fall out with certain people in your friend group, or you lose your job, or you graduate from school, or you’ll find a whole new group of friends. In general, the concept of not getting so attached to things or people to the point where you’re unwilling to separate from them comes to mind. Not that you can’t also develop strong attachments and relationships! But, when it’s time to let a situation or person go do not spend so much time trying to get them to stay. “When it’s time to go; it’s time to go”. 

Do not become obsessive about things and people you come into contact with this year. The phrase, “there’s a time and season for everything” is very important! “Be flexible” is the best advice I could give for those reading this pile. Being flexible does not entail not working hard though; find a balance between being hardworking and putting in effort and also being open to change and loss. There is a major emphasis on balance and being in control when it comes to your emotions but also overall this year. 

Overall, your lessons deal with being open to the change that comes with a new year and declaring that you’re ready for new things. You still need to put in work and go about life and strive to achieve what it is you want - in relationships, friendships, work, your daily life, and more, but you also need to be willing to let people and things go when the universe tells you they’re no longer serving or helping you. Truly, be open to the new beginnings you’re saying you want. 

[headspace-hotel]

a friend of mine said that the environment would be better if everyone lived in cities and basically left the rest of the natural world alone... i felt like there was something wrong with that argument but i really dont know enough about it to have a real point against it. i might be biased though cause i love being around nature and want to be able to live rural without killing the environment? idk im just wondering if she's right and how to live in a way that isnt negatively impacting the world

love your blog btw, it's been the thing that's helped me understand ecology for once

the idea that humans Are Bad for the ecosystem—not that particular activities or practices have particular negative effects, that just humans existing harms the environment—is in fact the worst idea ever

I mean, first of all, where does your friend think food comes from?

"Food" is one of the problems. It's one of a lot of problems. Some other problems include "all other natural resources besides food" and "human rights."

It's not just your friend, this kind of thing has been suggested in varying ways by self identified "leftists" a bunch of times, and I genuinely hope they're mostly random laypeople who can't really be expected to know more than they can learn from being terminally addicted to Twitter, because otherwise I will call them "dumber than a sack of hammers" in those exact words.

No offense to your friend. Your friend is a laypeople. And sadly, non-experts end up with ass-backwards ideas about how conserving the environment works, because of all this commonplace nonsense about humans being a cancer upon the planet. I'm not angry about those people, just sad.

But my serious answer is—The world's most intact and best managed ecosystems are found on land owned and managed by Indigenous people, who do what with the land?

LIVE ON IT.

And these groups of people learned to manage and care for the land how?

BY LIVING ON IT.

Conventional (white, Western) intuition holds that human management of an ecosystem should reduce biodiversity, but what science shows—I mean what study and observation and data and more study and more observation and more data shows—is that indigenous land management practices can do better than Nature can on her own.

I mean, for one thing, if you don't live in a place, you don't observe it every day. You don't see how the ecosystem and its inhabitants change over time. You can't learn about it, and therefore you don't know about it.

Disconnection from nature is ignorance about nature and ultimately apathy towards nature, and that's the worst and most disrespectful thing we can do.

And like I hope it's clear that even in the imaginary scenario where everyone lives in a city, even if this was possible (it's not), the city dwellers who are separate from nature are living a silly little lie. You're part of the ecosystem. Don't like it? Go become a rock in space.

The electrical signals moving through your brain right now are rays of sunlight that were soaked up by a plant that grew in dirt. Do you know fruit? Do you enjoy fruit? I enjoy fruit, I'm drinking a smoothie right now! That fruit y'all love so much was pollinated by a bug.

A bug did that for you! Because you're family! Because you're part of this world, because you belong to this intricate and ancient community of living things that need each other, that were shaped by evolution to need each other, and nature cannot abandon you.

But more on the cynical side of things, even if you don't know where the hell a berry grows or how, someone has to grow and harvest and ship that berry to you, someone who has to live somewhere, and you should care who is doing it and how they're being treated and paid, and ultimately you should want for them the same things you want for you.

Urban life is just rural life with extra steps my friend.

Like, @ all the "put everybody in cities" crowd, what is the plan here? Fancy ass indoor aquaponics systems notwithstanding, we're not technologically at a point where we can just, like, build giant multi-story factory buildings where we grow food under special lamps, and even being at that point wouldn't make it a good idea. With all the hype about solar power, you'd think people would look at plants (have been using solar power just fine for like a billion years) and think, "Neat how those things can just make food when you stick 'em in the sunshine."

I'm sorry, I'm never going to be psyched about technological innovations that are like "We took a plant and put it inside."

There is so much I could say here. The brainrot in the wake of "cottagecore" discourse where a bunch of well meaning white people got convinced that farming was racist. The idea that rural people are somehow more complicit in colonialism than urban people, and that rural land is, I don't know, landier than urban land, and the correct and moral thing to do if you live on stolen land is to....what? Live on land that has a protective layer of concrete in between it and your racist feet?

Land ownership is a whole fucked up beast, but you're not cultivating a non-exploitative relationship with land by living in a city. There's just extra steps in between you and the land.

"Homesteading" as seen on cottagecore boards on Pinterest has a lot of white supremacist wet dream mixed in, but listen: It is not only okay, but GOOD, to want to live in close relationship with the land, with the food you eat, with the trees and plants that fill your lungs when you inhale. It's IMPORTANT. It's VITAL.

What has to change is that this relationship can't be based on ownership and dominance. Ecosystem is community and that ain't it.

My ancestors were colonizers, the land I live on right now was violently stolen, the ecosystem that once was very carefully managed so that it flourished with life was ravaged, and I don't even know the names of most of the life-forms that ought to be here. What now?

You belong to the ecosystem that takes care of you. You can't wash your hands of this and run away.

I feel like I'm getting off topic, but it's very much on topic actually. What I hope for the future is that we would stop entertaining the silly little lies that imagine we can just...opt out of participation in something that is underneath our every footstep and in our every breath. It would make us feel pure, but it wouldn't be real.

I do think that forcing people off the land that is their home is bad, in general. I don't think those people have to be indigenous for this to be bad—and successfully claiming otherwise is a bit of conundrum, since as far as I know, the political and social phenomenon of indigenous identity has a lot to do with the being forced off your land thing.

Obviously people like me don't have the same deeply central cultural relationship to the land, but the "we should all just go live in cities and leave nature to itself" proposal implies that such relationships are unnecessary or even bad.

I've said this before but I find it weird when environmentalists accommodate indigenous ways of life in their visions of the ideal future as like...a special exception granted because it's like, the nice thing to do for a historically marginalized and violently oppressed group. Not because there is value or merit in those ways of life. Like "Oh I guess indigenous people should be allowed to hunt because it's part of their culture" ????? And it's part of their culture because...why?

Maybe because it's a sustainable way of doing things and has been for millennia???

Like don't listen to me, look at the research, indigenous folks participating in ecosystems and managing them worldwide know what they're doing and the rest of the world should be looking to them as examples. Key word here is participating, because you can't competently manage an ecosystem with your head all the way up your ass with the idea that you're somehow not part of it.

Humans aren't a cancer upon the planet. It's capitalism and colonialism. It's the practice of seeing the world as a disposable resource to be exploited.

Humans lived in the place I called home for 15,000 years. Within the past 200 years, almost every forest was razed to the ground, and almost every large animal extirpated or damn near to it.

"Humans" did that! These humans are so terrible!

But I have to remember.

There are descriptions of this place from before that, and they describe a lush, teeming heaven-like paradise that the adjectives provided by English trembled to capture, so perfect and bountiful that the observers assumed this land was never tainted by Adam's sin.

Humans did that, too.

[uma1ra]

Ask Allah by His Names

YA WADOOD!

I ask You for Your love and the love of those who love You, and for the action that will cause me to attain Your love so make Your love more beloved to me than myself and my beloved.

YA GHAFFAAR!

Rinse my soul of sins that hide beneath the skin – the sins that no one knows of, except You…Separate the layers around my bones and wash my heart from the evil that makes it dark.

YA RAHMAN!

Grant me mercy that I starve my soul of. You have more mercy in You than the sin in me so free my soul of self-limiting beliefs so I can feel as light as a feather.

YA HAAFIDH!

Protect me from the perpetual civil war within me in which many souls are fighting to survive – torn between dunya and aakhirah, destroying each other in the process…

YA MUSAWWIR!

Colour me a purposeful self so I can comprehend the reason why am I here in this dunya and utilise this limited time in my hands for what yields forever…

YA MU’TEE!

Free me from the endless longing of human warmth, acceptance, and approval – so I can depend on no one but You, so I don’t chase after dunya and my heart long for you – even when I have everything from the dunya in my mortal hands.

YA NASEER!

Help me out of every constriction and reduction, obstruction and destruction, addiction and affliction. And help me hang onto the hope that the help is near when I rush through the process.

YA JAMEEL!

You’re Beautiful and You love beauty so beautify my soul that beautifies the vessel it’s kept in. Help me see the beauty in things when everything seems ugly.

YA RAFEEQ!

You’re Gentle and Kind and you have put beauty in generosity, so when I lose my patience and I’m pushed to the edge of my kindness, pull me back and pour buckets of softness in my heart so it can pump with ease and let others breathe the breeze…

YA RAQEEB!

You’re closer to me than my jugular vein, but if I pull back and my heart disconnects, pump the blood through my veins so I can feel the pain – the pain of being far away from You and the pain of being so numb. The pain of apathy and the pain of a cold heart.

YA MUJEEB !

You respond whenever a servant calls upon You so please accept…accept…accept!

[meenah]

actual thoughts on new upd8:

1. i did laugh. this is a bar i need passing for homestuck. it made me feel things beyond bored numb apathy. laughing is an emotion i felt.

2. considering we have an all new team, i am willing to give this a new shot. for now, i'll take things in good faith. if this burns me, it burns me, but i'll still give it an honest shot

3. i really enjoyed the art this update! it felt very classic act 4-5 homestuck, which was fun to look at! it was very weighted and flowed well with the words on the page (something i really had issues with in previous postcanon content - i felt like a lot of panels felt disconnected continually with the words under them, and generally didn't have much emotional beat or comedic timing. this update had both!)

4. i liked sollux in this update. him and jegbert never talked one on one in homestuck original. this was a funny look at their first person to person interaction. i think sollux is the only dude in homestuck who is qualified to call jegbert bitchless and a bitch also.

5. i really miss second person pov writing homestuck narration. wish terezi's section had it. it's okay it didn't. but i hope we get it in the future.

[strawglicks]

Talking About Cathal's Flaws Because Why Not

cathal is my whole world my whole universe they are allowed to do anything they want they can end the world and i will stand by their side i adore them. ok now that i got that out of my system let me genuinely talk abt his flaws and analyze it a bit more in depth

To Be Real, He's Very Spoiled.

Now, it wouldn't be fair to demean Cathal to just some spoiled brat. But, to be fair, the only reason they've gotten as far as they have is because of their dad holding their hand through it all. Cathal's dad is the only reason he has a job, is the jr V.P, and hasn't gotten fired.

Their dad wrote their personal statement to ensure they were hired.

Their dad specifically makes sure, no matter how many disciplinary records they have, that Cathal doesn't lose their job. This line may actually imply that they HAVE almost lost their job (which makes sense due to the amount of rules they've broken) but their dad stopped it from happening.

Not to mention, even when made aware of his son slacking around, Allan straight up lies to management. He claims he'll disconnect the cable immediately, but according to the following lines in Cathal's battle:

...Allan didn't do anything about the cable like he said he would.

Due to all this, it makes sense Cathal is spoiled. They just have their whole future handed to them on a silver platter without them even needing to try. And because they're not even given the chance to learn, grow, or develop new skills, they wind up rather depressed and apathetic. Which leads me to another point.

Cathal is Extremely Apathetic/Careless, Which Affects Themselves and Everyone Around Them.

A huge aspect of Cathal's character is his laziness, procrastination, and carelessness. But I think it's important to dive into the "why" of these qualities.

Like I said before, Cathal has their career handed to them without even lifting a finger. There are several times he slacks off, doesn't show up to work, doesn't DO his work, etc., yet he keeps his job because of his dad and nothing is done about these problems. This is likely one of the biggest reasons he's so apathetic and doesn't care to get around to his work anyway. If there are no consequences, what's the point of following the rules?

And that's where most of this behavior drives from. "What's the point?"

If the toons won't attack Cathal, what's the point of Cathal attacking the toons?

If their dad just keeps getting repaired, what's the point of destroying him in the first place?

What is the point of any of this?

Cathal seeking a meaning and finding none leads to their apathy and carelessness, which then causes them to slack off and make things harder on their fellow coworkers. This is shown in things like this comic, featuring a skelecog who's overworked just to do a simple, minimal effort task just because Cathal didn't feel like it.

What's the point of doing ANY work when he can have someone else do it instead?

Which leads me into another point-

Cathal is Quite Selfish and Doesn't Value Anyone's Time But His Own.

There are several instances of Cathal being pretty self-centered, specifically about their time being wasted. Almost like a certain someone...(graham. its graham. im talking about graham. these two are like two sides of one coin but thats another post for another day)

Many of these instances can simply be found in their fight dialogue.

They give total attitude when you interrupt their shows, rushing to get back to it because they find it much more important than their actual job: fighting the toons.

They're shown to generally be impatient and rude whenever they feel their time being wasted. (This handful of lines also displays some of Cathal's attitude and snarkiness, which I think goes WAY unnoticed in the community)

Cathal doesn't even seem to have any shame in the fact he wastes time. As a matter of fact, he almost seems prideful of it, like no one seems to understand how pointless this all is except for him. It almost gives him a bit of an ego (almost like a certain someone.)

That All Being Said, I Don't Think Cathal Has Any Malicious Intent.

I think they're young, spoiled, and inexperienced in the workplace. Their only real jobs have been helping their dad with small chores around the office rather than working for a massive company as a whole (not to mention being next in line as Jr. Vice President of said company. it's a lot of responsibility to spring onto someone so inexperienced, and it's a big responsibility to just hand to someone who clearly has no interest or passion in it.)

Cathal's never been given a real chance to find something to be passionate about, or given any real motive to be passionate about the things he DOES have. I don't think it's an excuse for him to sit back and make everyone else's lives harder, but it is an explanation.

I think Cathal is an important character to mention when discussing Cogs. Inc and how capitalist companies like this tend to destroy people. All it's done for Cathal is drain him of any passion or motivation whatsoever, if he had any before. The one thing he seems to be passionate about is his Dad, which is why he puts up with all this in the first place.

Anyway that's all I had to say. Cathal's an extremely important character to me, my absolute top favorite from TTCC (alongside Graham) and is heavily underappreciated and underdiscussed.

Here's a drawing I made a bit back of Cathal gaming because. This has been sitting in my files and I haven't found an excuse to post it LMFAO

[madpunks]

some thoughts about our experience with Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder

i got diagnosed with DPDR as well as DID again last summer. it is possible to have more than one dissociative disorder, and it makes sense given that my experience has been different from other peers who experience DID. i thought i'd talk about how it affects myself and my system and what it feels like

we have no memory of anything before the age of 10. even at this point, i remember most of our life has been in a fog. we've felt detached from everything, as if in a dream-like state for just about our entire waking life. nothing feels like it's really happening- it's disturbingly easy for me to shrug things off and laugh because of how detached i feel from the world and people around me.

i've questioned if i'm emotionless, or if i fall into antisocial personality disorder territory with my level of apathy and disconnect, but i was made to realize it was from how detached i feel from how hard i'm dissociating. i don't ever feel like i'm 100% in control of my body. a lot of the time i feel like i'm standing just behind it, watching my life play out before me like a movie or a dream.

it's hard to get emotionally attached to specific people because interacting with folks can all feel the same when i feel so detached and unaffected. it's not like i want to feel this way, i just can't feel the emotional drive to be attached to those situations because i feel like i'm physically not there. if i'm not present, who is there to get invested?

it's hard because i want to be more present. i want to feel more awake and aware and like i'm involved with the lives around me, but i feel like a ghost most days. i feel like i haunt the walls of the place that i live, like i stop existing once other people go away. it's an isolating feeling that leads me to spend a lot of my time by myselves. i do socialize with my system, but communication with them is also difficult due to having bad dissociative barriers between one another.

getting diagnosed with DPDR was an interesting experience. i can't say i felt much, but it was nice to have it confirmed, even though this is difficult to live with, and leads me to feel very empty most of the time. if you are curious as to how DPDR could possibly feel, here is one account. i hope this helps someone. i don't see it talked about much and felt like i could lend some insight.

[poppy5991]

Varying representations of responder PTSD symptoms in MHA characters:

MHA does a really good job at realistically showing how people who work in response fields might manifest PTSD. It shows a variety of ways this can occur and hits on a lot of the less palatable symptoms or more nuanced symptoms that aren’t really shown in media often.

Enji:

Ok, I know he’s a controversial character but I’m starting with Enji/Endeavor bc I love this character and his arc. His character is shown having some of the less palatable symptoms of PTSD and it really reminded me of my experiences with it. I think it’s really cool to see that representation.

Intense Anger

Functions perfectly at work, but cannot function outside of work (if my brain cannot find the threat, it will make one- I.e. hypervigilance)

Lashing out at loved ones

Feelings of guilt and shame over the anger

Intense mistrust of others

Reliving negative experiences and ruminating on them constantly

Inability to rely on others

Inability to verbalize or identify negative feelings

Fear that you are a burden on loved ones

Fear that your loved ones will get hurt or die

Fear that loved ones will betray you or are lying to you

Obsession with having control over negative outcomes

Unreasonable standards/expectations for self and others

Fear that you cannot save everyone/are not good enough

Self-isolation

Deliberately sabotaging your relationships

The ‘death of self’

All Might:

Overwork

Lack of a personal life

Inability to rest

Working through injury

Inability to rely on others

Keeping experiences and feelings a secret because you believe them to be too burdensome to share

Unsupported belief that you will die young

Flippant about own safety and mortality

Deku:

Working through injury

Putting self in dangerous situations

Obsessiveness about work and replaying situations over and over

Flippancy about own safety and mortality

Inability to rest

Self-isolation

Keeping experiences and feelings a secret because you believe them to be too burdensome to share

Existential horror/dread about the state of humanity

Apathy

Losing parts of your personality/losing joy/losing idealism

Nightmares

Hawks:

I also really love this character and how Horikoshi explores him. I relate to a lot of his symptoms as well even though they are much more subtle.

Using sarcasm and dark humor to eschew real negative feelings

Refusing to process negative emotions or intellectualizing your trauma

Loss of affect

Belief that your sole value is in your usefulness to others/belief that you have no inherent value

Overwork

Fear that you cannot save everyone/are not good enough

Moral injury

Unrealistic expectations of self

Flippant about your own safety/mortality

Unfounded belief that you are secretly a bad person

Splitting: i.e. views on good and bad becoming overly simplistic

Anger and resentment about systemic failures/leadership failures

Feeling that your were not adequately trained or equipped to do your job

Mistrust of others

Trauma bonding to coworkers

Belief that other people cannot understand your experiences

Emotional distancing

Wanting to escape your present reality/focus on a ‘future’ where things are different and inability to be in the present moment.

Dissociative traits- I.e. disconnecting from the self to complete difficult tasks & acting out ‘performative’ emotions for the benefit of others

[my-fancy-hat]

I can definitely see the vision that Yoshida's perse Denji's personal arc and relationship can be read as the queer closeted experience too as some people have pointed out in these past chapters. Both who share the same feelings of disconnection with their environment, in addition to an inherited social ineptitude and naivety about what it really means to be normal, in which they assume that the origin of their frustration and sadness comes from their weirdness and not from the rejection that the same scheme who ignored them now inflicts on them. This uncertainty of knowing that, despite the fact that you are doing what the manual says, what the majority does, you still do not get the same results of satisfaction and personal fulfillment that everyone gets, is what increases this frustration and pilled anger against their surroundings and against each other; Yoshida has faith that this is the path to take, that the results are guaranteed by logic so tries to persuade Denji to trust on his good intentions, while Denji is submerged in an existential crisis from said normality that feels more transgressive than comforting, even though he already has what he wished for and maybe what Yoshida envy of him. Them forcing each other to do things they both know it won't make them feel any different from the usual apathy and sense of losing themselves in the progress with so little reward such as doing the expected of their asigned gender roles (men always wants girls, always wants sex) for example, only increasing their solitude as a result.

Like, we all know the obvious, that all of this comes from their respective backgrounds and duties, Denji as the extremely poor orphan kid forced into child-labor and, taking Yoshida's subtle wording, it makes you think he's not so different from him, like a child soldier raised by the state similar to Makima and Reze. These feelings of the uncomfortable normality that secures your place as the "social failure" despite your desperate attempts to prove yourself to be worthy of acceptance and/or be normal are very common around a lot of groups incluiding the one mentioned on here, as on top of that is so valid to take in consideration the not so-subtle tension (and poor tasted jokes), misunderstanding but at the same time complicity between Yoshida and Denji makes this interpretation really interesting, to me.