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#ive been thinking of this joke for literal weeks it would just not leave my brain
builtbybrokenbells · 1 year
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Gold Dust Woman | iv
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Driven to the brink of insanity, y/n turns to her best friend for advice in her time of need. A Sunday brunch paired with day drinking leads to a world of new information she hopes will help her to better understand the new world she is caught up in.
Read part three here
Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 12.5k
Warnings: sexting, sort of phone sex I guess, dirty talk, name calling (ish?), pet names, touch of praise, teasing, drinking, swearing, gossip (is that a warning? idk anymore guys), mentions of cheating, but nothing super heavy for this chapter! sorry if i miss any!
in my hungover state I present you with this! I’ve been waiting to write this chapter literally since I’ve started this. it’s super important to the plot and I think clears up a lot of stuff!! plus it’s a good little summary of everything leading up to this chapter. also id just like to say a super sincere thank you for the love i have received on this series. it was a big step out of my comfort zone and i was really worried that it wouldn’t be enjoyed, but you guys are so kind and supportive. i <3 you all. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻
The tiny diner was overcrowded for its size, but still as welcoming as ever. Cheer and comfortability radiated through the air from the minute you stepped inside, never failing to brighten spirits. The small booth in the very back corner was routinely reserved for you and Danny on your Sunday outings. Brunch, always, but it was normally followed by some sort of wholesome activity to fill the afternoon. Then again, it didn’t matter what you were doing; time spent with Danny was always wholesome, and quite fulfilling. His friendship was one of your most prized possessions, mostly because you never really experienced anything like it before him. The conversation was never dull, radiating a type of safety that made you feel like you could tell him anything. Jokes were always well timed, advice was free-flowing, and a gesture of comfort was routinely available if needed.
Sundays were your favourite day, because you got the opportunity to spend time with him. Sometimes, the other boys would join, but that was rare. Even if they opted not to, you were fine with that, because you knew that the booth in the very back would always be reserved for two. That day was no different; you picked Danny up from his apartment at the usual time, and you both showed each other new music discoveries from the prior week. After the high stress of the weekend, you were happy to return to some type of normalcy, even if your regret for your careless decisions were constantly looming over you. When you arrived at the diner, the familiarity of the scene wrapped you up in a warm hug.
When you settled in to the seat, you placed your purse beside you and your phone face down on the table. The morning had started in a strange way, still leaving you frazzled hours later. After yesterdays activities, you had woken up tangled in the bed sheets and wrapped around Jake Kiszka. You never thought you would find yourself in such a state, but the reality of it was all too overwhelming to ignore. Although it wasn’t a bad start to the day, you were still aching with residual stress from the entirety of the situation. When he woke, too, the feeling seemed to wash away. There was a few hours where things seemed perfectly right, instead of troublesome; laughing and kissing your way through the earliest hours of your day, cooking breakfast and sharing cups of coffee along with stolen glances and smiles. It was beautiful in its own twisted way, making you genuinely believe you could spend the rest of your life doing just that. Once he’d left you on your lonesome, the guilt creeped back in like a disease, eating away at every part of you and taking you for its own. It had yet to satiate, even with Danny in front of you and a promise of a good day.
“You look terrible.” He stated, taking a sip out of the coffee mug the waitress had quickly delivered. Your eyes snapped up to him, shocked at the blunt statement.
“Thanks?” You furrowed your eyebrows, a small laugh stuck in your throat.
“No, not like that.” He corrected, placing his menu on the table. There was no need for it; you both had tried the entirety of the menu the restaurant offered, settling on your favourites long ago. “You always look pretty. I mean, you look like you just saw a ghost.” He was right, you couldn’t deny it. The bags under your eyes were darker than ever, skin pale and eyes distant. You were a mess, definitely looking like yourself but a mostly just a shell of it. It didn’t take a detective to figure that out.
“Yeah,” you chuckled, unsure of how to respond to his statement. “Guess I just haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Penny for your thoughts?” He shot back, his gaze unwavering. You shifted under the stare, feeling like he had already picked up on your predicament. You hated that about him; he always seemed to know there was something on your mind, even if you exhausted every way to hide it. It was just a Danny thing, and you had picked up on that long ago. He cared too much, noticed too much. Secrets didn’t exist around him, and perhaps that was why you were so excited for this particular outing, subconsciously hoping you might be able to get at least something off your chest.
“I don’t know if there’s enough time in the day.” You grumbled, taking a long sip of water from your cup. “I wouldn’t want to make your ears bleed.”
“I’ll strike you a deal.” He offered, causing you to look up at him. “Bottomless mimosas on me, and a shoulder to cry on.” You eyed him, nervous to agree but comforted at the thought of speaking your mind. “What’s said at brunch stays at brunch. I’ll drive home.” His invitation was very tempting. As much as you felt like you should keep the turmoil to yourself, the idea of advice or even just to confess your mistakes was overwhelmingly alluring. After a moment, you decided you would have to say something, even just an elusive idea to get some kind of answer to your internal debate.
“Deal, but it stays between us.” You finally said, realizing that if you didn’t speak your troubles aloud, they would eat you alive. Besides, there was nobody in the world that you trusted more than Danny. You knew you could probably confess murder and he would only ask how to help. “But my lips are sealed until those mimosa’s get here.” You smiled.
When the waitress came to check in and take orders, you both settled on a meal and Danny was sure not to forget your drinks. As you waited for her return, you struggled to arrange the thoughts in your brain. You had no idea how to explain the situation to him, or even where to begin. You were scared he would think differently of you, even though deep down, you knew he wouldn’t. The whole thing was sick and twisted, and you were so on edge that you thought you might combust. The last thing you wanted was to lose your friendship with Danny because of your inability to understand your own feelings. When the champagne flute was finally in front of you, your stomach churned with unease. You looked up to meet his eyes, but found he was already waiting in anticipation.
“So, what’s going on?” Before answering, you grabbed the glass and made quick work at finishing the liquid in one go. You figured you’d need the courage to tell this story.
“Remember that lesson we were talking about?” You asked, checking the flute to make sure you didn’t miss any alcohol before setting it back down.
“Vaguely,” he smirked “but I don’t think you ever told me exactly what it was.”
“Yeah, because I still have no idea what the fuck it is.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I made a really big mess of things, and I have no idea how to fix it.”
“Okay, don’t panic. We can work through it together.” Your heart warmed at his words, feeling a little better just at the thought of his input. Even if he were to tell you that you were an idiot, you knew you deserved it. There had never been a time where advice from Danny hadn’t helped, even if it was only for a moment. And, although you hated to admit it, he was almost always right. “What kind of mess?”
“A big one.” You said, unable to find a better way to describe it. “I guess I probably have to go way back to the start for anything to make sense.” You sighed, placing your head in your hands. Your plan for keeping your feelings quiet had crumbled long ago; if you were going to tell him anything, you would have to explain it all. “The lesson was Sam. I’ve been in love with him for months.”
“Mhm,” Danny nodded, pausing his response as the waitress walked over to replace your drink. Once she was out of earshot, he spoke. “I had an idea.”
“Was it that obvious?” He quickly averted his eyes, not wanting you to see his face as he reacted to your question. You could tell he was trying not to laugh, finding your inquiry quite funny. “Oh, god.” You groaned.
“No, not exactly obvious.” He lied. You let out a groan, embarrassed that everybody seemed to know about your crush. “I don’t think he did, though. He’s pretty oblivious.” He comforted you, the second part of his statement much more genuine. “Why is that such a big deal?” You audibly laughed at his comment, realizing that he had no idea the extent of the problem.
“He never gave me any idea he liked me back. Flirted with girls at my house, acted like I was just another one of the guys. I never really felt like I meant anything more to him.” You explained. “And I was too much of a coward to say anything. Thought it was better if I kept everything a secret. I didn’t want to risk losing you guys as friends. I like you all too much.”
“We like you too, y/n.” He smiled, finding your worry silly. He knew that whatever happened, he still wanted to be your friend. You were his solace away from the chaos of his band mates, and to him, it was the best thing in the whole world. You gave him a soft smile, taking a moment to sip at your drink again. “No matter what, you’re always going to be my Sunday brunch date.” He assured you. You let out a long breath, now preparing to get into the deepest part of the conversation.
“So that night, after you and I talked, I figured that I had to snap out of it. I spent every weekend watching him, hoping he would make a move, or even give me some sort of hint that he acknowledged I existed in any way other than a friend. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to have fun, so I asked you to play beer pong.” He hummed an agreement, letting you know he was following. “And I partnered with Jake.” And what a grave mistake, that was. “I was drunk, and at first it was friendly, no different than usual. Then he started looking and talking to me different. It wasn’t bad, obviously, but he was very clearly flirting.” You paused, noticing the small smile he was fighting back. You tried to ignore it, not liking the way he was looking at you. “I was really drunk, and it felt really nice to be noticed. I shouldn’t have entertained it, but I did. I played along with him, thinking it was harmless. The game ended, we went out separate ways, and I figured that was the end of it. It should have been the end of it.”
“It wasn’t, though, was it?” You shook your head at his words. The conversation was stopped by plates of food in front of you and another replacement for your empty mimosa. You took a break from the grievous topic to have a bite to eat before continuing. After a few moments, you answered.
“Nope,” you sighed, popping the p to accentuate the impact. “We talked for a little while longer, then I went to the bathroom. Heard someone playing my guitar in my room, so of course I had to check.” You cursed yourself for not knowing better. “There he was, playing so well that it draws you in without a second thought, looking as pretty as ever.” He got a laugh out of your statement, never hearing two compliments sound so much like insults. “I joined him and we talked for a while, completely normal stuff.”
“You guys hooked up?”
“Ah!” You snapped, pressing your finger to your lips, silently telling him to keep his voice down. He let out a hearty laugh at your dramatics, knowing that nobody in the vicinity gave a single care about what you were talking about.
“So that’s a yes?”
“Yeah, sort of, I guess!” You said, exasperated at the thought of recalling that moment aloud, especially to someone so close with Jake. You took another long drink, hoping the alcohol would calm your nerves. “I went to bed, and I didn’t know what to think. Part of me was thrilled, but a bigger one never wanted to do it again. I felt so guilty, almost like I cheated on Sam even though he had no idea I liked him. How stupid is that?”
“It’s not stupid, y/n. I think it’s pretty normal, actually.” He shrugged. “We live in our own head, and when we like someone so much, especially for a long time, it kind of starts to feel real. I think you feeling guilty is actually more normal than not caring. Means you really do like him, and it’s not just a surface level thing.” The confirmation was nice, but also made you feel even worse. You felt as though you shouldn’t be allowed to have feelings for Sam anymore, especially after how you spent your morning. “I take it that’s not the end?” He chuckled, picking up on your sullen expression.
“No,” you groaned, burying your head in your hands again. “I wish it was, but no.” He reached over, looping his fingers around your wrist and gently pulling your hand away from your face. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes, noticing his smile.
“It’s okay. What’s said at brunch stays at brunch.” He promised. You gave a slight nod, letting your hand fall into his. He rested them on the table, giving yours a reassuring squeeze.
“When I woke up and only saw you three in the living room, I kind of thought he regretted it, too. Figured he sobered up and… yeah.” You laughed, not feeling a need to get into your insecurities. “I was nervous, still feeling pretty guilty, but we were all hungover so I just blamed it on that. Things felt normal for a minute, when we were all just sitting and falling asleep. Then he came back. From the minute I saw him, I knew he didn’t regret any of it. He gave me my coffee. My coffee, exactly how I order it. He remembered, and I don’t even think I’ve ever told him.” You mumbled, feeling a blush rise at the memory. “We ended up going to the basement, and nothing happened, really. We kissed and talked, and we kind of agreed he would stay after everyone left.”
“That doesn’t sound bad.” He reassured you. You narrowed your stare, causing him to back down instantly.
“Aside from the feelings thing, no.” You admitted, feeling bad for giving him such a harsh look. “While we were playing songs, everything felt fine. It was fun, I wasn’t nervous or worried about anything, and I thought that maybe things would be fine. I know Jake isn’t the bad guy; he’s not someone I wouldn’t want to fall in love with. I think I’d like it, actually, if the situation were that simple. He’s always been kind to me, he’s funny, he remembers things about me that nobody bothers to. He cares about the little things. He pays attention.”
“And Sam doesn’t.” He affirmed. You nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.
“He never has. I feel like I wasted months loving someone who didn’t give a shit whether I was around or not.” Danny looked like he wanted to protest, but bit his tongue instead. It was your time to vent, and he wanted you to say what you needed without interruption. “I went to the kitchen to get more coffee, more comfortable with everything. I thought maybe if Jake and I spent enough time together, the feelings for Sam would just be… obsolete. I’m sure it would have worked, too. But, he just had to follow me.”
“Sam?” You nodded, giving him a bit of clarity. You were so worked up that you were rushing yourself through the story.
“Yeah, we just chatted for a minute, both drank our coffee like normal friends. Then he tried to hold my hand! And then tried to hint around that he liked me, too!”
“He did not,” Danny sat back in the booth, letting his head slump against the seat, internally cringing at his best friends terrible timing.
“Sure did! The whole confession was pretty funny, actually. Not to me, but definitely to someone! It was like god was sitting up in the sky laughing at me while it happened.”
“He’s so stupid.” Danny groaned, clearly exasperated himself. Danny was so unapologetic about his secret love of girl talk, and it made you incredibly happy. He really was your best friend in every sense of the word.
“Yeah, and I was a little pissed off! It made me feel like I was only worth loving when he was afraid he couldn’t have me. We argued for a few minutes, and he basically pried the confession about Jake out of me so he could use it for his own personal agenda! Then, he got this grand idea that he’d make it into a competition between him and and his brother to see who can win me over.” Danny gave a wince at the thought, already aware of Sam’s thought process before you even said it aloud. “I told him it was a bad idea, and I meant it. It is a terrible idea.” You clarified before telling him any more. After a few moments of silence, his eyes were urging you to continue. “We kissed.” You sighed. He let out another laugh, like what you had said was a joke rather than something you deeply regretted. His hand squeezed yours once more, another gesture of comfort. “What’s so funny?”
“No, no. You tell your story, I’ll talk later.” He assured you. With an air of discomfort, you accepted the deal, deciding to purge yourself of the last bit of the story so you could get it over with.
“It was fantastic. Something I’d been waiting forever to do. It almost felt wrong because it felt so right. So I planned on ending things with Jake. It was the right thing to do; I know if Sam had kissed me even a day sooner, there would have been no problem or conflict. I would have been over the moon.” Danny gave a hum, understanding what you meant, but not certain he agreed with it. Still, he held his thoughts back until you were finished. “You guys came in, and Sam left. Jake was still in the living room, because I told him to stay after everybody went home. I went in to talk to him, fully prepared to end things, but when I saw him, it was like it disappeared. He’s just so… captivating. Like, when I’m around him, he’s the only thing that exists.”
“Yeah, he does have a pretty big personality. Hard to ignore. He’s quiet, but I think that’s part of the charm.”
“Yep, because everything that comes out of his mouth is perfectly thought out.” You snipped, angry at the thought of his perfection. “He started talking, and he knew Sam and I had done something in the kitchen. I didn’t even have to say anything to him. There was a lot of back and fourth, kind of unimportant. I don’t even think I could explain it, anyway. But, he basically said that they both had feelings for me and they decided that they should both have a fair shot at winning me over. Isn’t that fucked up? That they decided that on their own, and didn’t tell me?”
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“That’s what I thought! Anyway, whatever. Doesn’t matter now, I guess. He said some cryptic shit and I told him to leave, but it was mostly just because I was pissed off. I don’t think I really wanted him to go. Like I said, it doesn’t matter, because he stayed the night, last night. He left before I came to pick you up.” You sat back in your seat, defeated still, even after talking through the whole thing. The words being spoken into the universe only seemed to make you feel worse about the predicament. The only hope you had left was that Danny would have some sort of miracle advice to help you out, but you didn’t want to keep your hopes too high. “I think Jake’s been feeling the same way about me as I feel about Sam.”
“Okay.” Danny said, showing you that he was sufficiently aware of your predicament. “My turn?”
“Please.” You urged, finishing the last of your drink. You barely had the glass back on the table before the waitress was there to replace it. You were starting to feel the buzz of the liquor, realizing that you were genuinely getting day-drunk just to forget about your own mistakes. You were at an all time low, you decided. Your usual attitude towards relationships had continually assured you protected yourself, never letting anyone get to close, and never falling for anybody too hard. It was lonely, but loneliness was much preferred to how you were feeling in that moment. Now, in addition to a broken heart and a guilty conscience, you were scared you were going to lose the only true friends you ever had.
“I’ve known Jake and Sam for a long time. It’s a blessing and a curse. I love them to death, they’re family. Fun to be around, great friends, all that mushy shit. But, after so many years, you pick up on the bad stuff, too.” You were intrigued, now. As the fourth glass of the heartache remedy slid down your throat, you felt yourself leaning in closer to the table, not expecting a response like such. You thought Danny would call you on your bullshit, tell you that you were an idiot. You prepared yourself for that, still, because the conversation wasn’t over. It was still a possibility, but you certainly didn’t think his advice would lead in with the Kiszka’s baggage.
“You mean to tell me they’re not perfect? That god didn’t hand craft them and put them on earth just to make the rest of us feel bad?” He had another hearty laugh, finding your tipsy smile hilarious. Your ability to joke even through your turmoil was heartwarming.
“Seems that way sometimes, but no. At least I don’t think so.” He reassured you. “Jake and Sam are a lot more alike than everyone thinks, and not just physically. Sometimes, they’re more alike than Jake and Josh, which is incredibly hard to do. I mean, they’re brothers, so it’s expected, I guess. I didn’t notice it when we were in high school, but Jake wasn’t around as often. Once we all graduated, we started making music and spending a lot of time together. I think that’s when I realized how similar they were.”
“Mhm,” you agreed, wholeheartedly believing him. The two were strikingly similar in lots of ways, despite a few blatant things that offset their shared traits. You could even tell through their touch, or the small interactions that left you guessing if they previously conspired what they were going to say to you, or if it was just their Kiszka nature.
“Their taste in girls has always been one of those things. Over the years, girlfriends or flings caught interest in the other brother, or vice versa, and it was always a bit messy. It seemed like if you fell for one of them, you’d eventually fall for both of them. Or if one of them fell for you, the other would, too. It’s really fucked up, actually.” He gave a little chuckle, trying his best to explain the observation. “They caught on to it pretty soon, and fought over it once or twice, but it never seemed to cause an issue between them. They’d be mad for a few days, then they would move on like it never happened. I don’t know if they accepted it, or if they just didn’t care. Personally, I couldn’t do what they do. It would drive me crazy.” He added, clearly letting on that whatever he was leading in to was common, very deeply rooted and still pressing. You could see in his eyes that the idea was unsettling to him. “For a year or so, whichever way it went, the other just admitted defeat and moved on.”
“Oh, wow.” You breathed, trying to wrap your head around his words. It felt like you were learning deep lore about them that you weren’t supposed to know.
“I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I felt like I shouldn’t be, but it seems like they’re back to their old ways. Trust me when I say it’s much harder on you than it is on them.” You nodded, agreeing with the statement. The whole twisted relationship had given you nothing but turmoil since it had begun, and you were desperate for insight on how to fix it. To them, it just seemed like another day’s work. “Our first real tour, Sam fell super hard for a girl we met at a bar one night. Like, I mean head over heels, stars in his eyes, the whole nine yards. He got her number, and they were in love before we even left the bar. They ended up getting together, and things were really great between them. She even came along with us for a few weeks. They were happy for a while, but then Sam let tour life get to him, I think. He fucked up, hooked up with a random girl and threw the whole thing in the garbage. It was absolutely his fault, and I’ll never defend him over it, but he was young and had no idea how to handle the fame, even if we weren’t that big back then. He seemed to cling to every bit of attention he got. I know he regretted it as soon as he realized what he did, but obviously it was too late. I don’t blame her for leaving.” He shrugged. You were watching intently, immersed in every word.
“Now, I don’t know for certain what happened. Nobody talks about it anymore, and we never really did back then, either. It’s in the past, and everybody wants to keep it that way. But, that girl ended up in Jake’s bed after the big blowout. I don’t know if she initiated it, or he instigated, but it didn’t really matter, anyway. Sam found out and went insane, and he wasn’t interested in knowing who started it. They fought, like really fought, fists and all. We thought that would be the end of the band; they didn’t speak to each other for weeks. Rehearsals and concerts were constantly tense. The girl wasn’t even in the picture, anymore, Sam just felt betrayed and Jake didn’t want to admit he was in the wrong. Before, I don’t think he was ever really in love with anybody, so it didn’t matter as much. But that time, Sam reached his breaking point.”
“Holy shit,” you didn’t care about anything else happening around you. The story was captivating; both boys were very closed off, never giving too much away about themselves. They’d always answer questions if asked, but you never really heard much about the past, especially relationships. You were realizing why, now. “Poor Sam.”
“I guess.” Danny shrugged. “In that situation, yeah, but he’s not innocent. After they made up, he never let it go. He wanted to get back at him, and he did. Ever since then, Jake never had a chance to have a relationship. The minute he showed interest in someone, Sam was already trying to win her over. At first, I think it was just a coincidence. They’re similar, they like the same type of girls, obviously that can cause some issues. After that, it was different. Clearly intentional and meant to be hurtful. I stopped feeling sorry for them a long time ago. They know what they’re doing, and neither of them want to be the bigger person and apologize. Over the years, it’s just grown into a big mess.”
“So that’s why they’re doing this?”
“Yeah.” He felt no need to lie. “They’ve always been competitive. It’s a brother thing. Sam more than Jake, really. I think it’s because he’s younger, maybe feels inadequate sometimes. But to be competitive over girls with real feelings… I don’t like it. After so long, they learned to take the loss and move on. Better luck next time, to them. They mope around for a few days and then they’re back to best friends like nothing ever happened. The girls always end up getting hurt in the end, and that’s the fucked up part. They can hurt their own feelings as much as they want, but I don’t think it’s right to do it to anyone else.”
“That’s why Jake knew what happened in the kitchen. And Sam was so certain he was going to win me over. They’re masters at the game.” The whole wicked, devil-like persona’s were making more sense, now. Every move was thought out, meticulously planned and executed with grace. They’ve been playing this game far longer than you’d even been a part of it, and you were curious if they even had real feelings at all, or if it was just a part of the spiteful process.
“Masters, I’m not sure about. Cocky and annoying, absolutely. I don’t care what they have against each other. They have to settle that between themselves, not bring anyone else into it. All of us consider you a friend. A best friend. What they’re doing hurts everyone, but clearly it’s been hurting you the most.” You finished your drink, looking around for the waitress to get another refill. You were in information overload, more questions and worries filling your head with every second that passed. He picked up on the nervous energy, giving your hand another small squeeze to bring you back to reality.
“Do you think they even care about me, or is it just to piss each other off?” His eyes widened, realizing how easily you could have interpreted that from his story.
“No, y/n, not like that. I can’t speak for certainty on everything, but I am pretty sure Jake’s head over heels for you. He always perks up when we talk about you, and he’s the first one ready when we’re going to your place. Most of the time, he’s begging us to hurry up. I can see it in his eyes. We all see it, and I think that’s why I got so excited when I saw you guys flirting on Friday. Hoped that he’d finally get the courage to make a move.”
“Okay,” you whispered, scared to ask anything about the other boy, unsure if you even wanted to know the answer.
“Sam likes you, too. He told me himself, and not just yesterday, either. I’m not picking a side, or trying to get you to choose. Just telling you what I think you need to know so you can stop beating yourself up.” He explained. “I don’t know why Sam didn’t speak up, sooner. I told him you liked him, gave him encouragement, but he never said anything. He acted like he was oblivious, but he knew. Everyone knows you have feelings for Sam. I love you, but it was obvious.” Your cheeks turned rosy, embarrassed at your own inability to hide your emotions. “I think they both really like you, and they were scared of the same thing. They didn’t want the other to steal you away, but they fell into routine again and they’re doing exactly what they wanted to avoid. When Sam saw you with Jake, It probably lit a old fire in him, which is why it all happened so fast.” As much as you wanted the knowledge to give you reassurance, it only made the dread grow even larger.
“I don’t know what to do, Danny.” You sighed, closing your eyes to ward off the stress headache. You retracted your hand from his, missing the comfort of the hold almost immediately. You brought your fingers to your temples and gently massaged the area, satiating the ache slightly. “I never should have started anything with Jake. I had feelings for Sam. It was selfish, and I know that.”
“I think you had feelings for him, too. Maybe you just didn’t realize it.” He offered. “It’s not like you to start something like that without any reason. Plus, like I said, if you like one of them… history tends to repeat itself.” He said, keeping the truth light.
“If I didn’t, I sure do now.” You let out a humourless laugh, pushing the food around on your plate with your fork. “I feel like I maybe put Sam on a pedestal because I had such a big crush on him. I always thought I was in love with him, but I was never with him. I didn’t know anything beyond the surface, never experienced anything more than friendship. Not even an idea. Now, I’ve been with Jake. I know him, and I feel like maybe what I felt for Sam was just infatuation.”
“Could have been.” He shrugged, unable to answer that one for you.
“But when I’m around him, both of them, actually, they have this pull, like the earth is forcing me into their arms. It’s impossible to think clearly with them around, and I think maybe I just have to take a step back to figure it out.”
“Good luck with that.” He joked, eyes drifting to your phone on the table. “Your phone’s been going off all day, and I’m pretty sure I have an idea who it is.” You couldn’t deny anything, mostly because you knew he was right. Intermittently, another vibration would sound, and you knew if you picked it up, it would be one of the brothers you were trying so hard to ignore. “I don’t care if you ignore them, as long as I still get to see you. Wouldn’t give up our brunch dates for the world.” He sent a playful wink your way.
“Let’s just run away, get married and have mimosa’s for the rest of our lives on a cute little porch while we watch the sunset.” You grinned. “Don’t have to worry about anything ever again.”
“Don’t tempt me,” he smirked. “If I get involved in this, I’m definitely winning.” You both shared a fit of giggles, happy to ease the tension with light jokes. “But seriously, if that’s what you want to do, do it. I know how hard on the head they can be normally, so I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your position.” He sympathized. “It’s not fair to you. I think maybe that’s why Jake tried to be so secretive about it, he wanted to make the move and start something before Sam could get involved. But, it’s like some weird brother thing; they can always tell.”
“I don’t know what to do. I feel like I ignored too many lessons, and the universe is super mad at me right now.” You sighed, your attention grabbed by the waitress dropping another drink off. You mumbled a small thank you before she disappeared again. “I like them both, but I don’t want to hurt either of them. I don’t want to get hurt. The whole thing is fucked up.”
“May I offer my opinion?” He asked, mischief laced in his tone. You gave a nod, figuring that anything would help at this point. “I don’t think you’re going to hurt them nearly as bad as you think.” He assured you. “Yeah, obviously, however this goes, someone is bound to be disappointed, but they’ve been playing this game for years. If you like both of them, play the game with them.”
“Encourage it?” You were in disbelief that he would even suggest it.
“Yep.” He confirmed, no hesitation in his voice. “Listen, they started this whole thing. They think it’s okay to play with your feelings, so play with theirs, instead. Maybe teach them a lesson.” He explained. “Don’t let them run things. You’re in control here, even if you don’t think you are. Have fun with them, and hopefully they’ll see what they’re doing is wrong.”
“You’re evil, Daniel.” You contemplated the idea while finishing your final mimosa, feeling positively tipsy.
“No, just think it’s time they got some karma. They have to learn eventually, they can’t do this for the rest of their lives.” He said, throwing his cutlery and napkins on his plate. “As long as you think you can do it without hurting your own feelings.”
“I’m so pissed off at them that I don’t even care about that.” You chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. The statement was completely truthful.
“So teach them, and then we can eat our brunch in peace. When you do, hopefully they’ll never do it again.” You weren’t expecting Danny to side with you in the matter, but you especially weren’t expecting for him to cheer you on. As you listened to his story of the years he spent dealing with them, you understood why he was telling you to do it. Knowing Danny, you could only assume that there had been many instances where he had to do damage control because of Jake and Sam’s childish behaviour, and he was sick of it. Plus, he seemed quite annoyed with the amount of broken hearts that have ensued because of the brothers tyranny.
Part of you thought it was crazy, that there was no way you could do that to the boys. The other, angrier part of you thought it was a great idea. After only two days of turmoil caused by their behaviour, you were in shambles. Now, knowing that they were completely aware of their own actions, you had no issue handing it right back to them. “Okay.” You agreed. The liquor definitely had an impact on your decision making, but not enough for you to worry about it.
“There. Problem solved.” He smiled. “Maybe that lesson you were dreading wasn’t really your lesson after all.”
You both left the diner with a little more pep in your step than before. Your fears were settled, but not fully resolved. Still, the sense of doom that was looming over you seemed to ease up, and you accredited it solely to Danny. Without his words, you would still be drowning in your own misery. You spotted your car, making a move to get in the drivers seat. As you reached for the handle, you paused yourself, realizing that you were in no state to drive. You reached into your purse, fishing out your keys, and turned to see Danny already holding his hand out for them.
“All yours,” you said, dropping them in his palm. “Forgot.” You let out a giggle.
“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, sending a playful smile your way. You walked to the other side of the vehicle, getting in to the passenger side. Once you had your seatbelt buckled, he began the journey home. You connected your phone to the speaker, clumsily tapping the screen to unlock it. You hit shuffle on your playlist, not having the mind to scroll through and pick a song.
You turned your head towards the window, letting your eyes take in the sights as you passed by. Your mind was spinning with thoughts, but none stuck out as they passed through. Most were a jumble of topics from the previous day’s events, no coherent nature to them. You wanted to check your missed messages, just to see what they’d been saying, but you couldn’t find the strength to do so. You were angry, still, upset that they had no issue involving you in their mess and seemed to have no remorse over it. Even so, the urge to talk to them, to be with them, touched by them, was growing more urgent by the second.
Danny was right; it would be impossible to ignore them. That left you with two choices; play along, or let them play with you and get hurt in the process. You still weren’t certain that the first option would keep your feelings safe, but it was worth a try. Even if it didn’t, hopefully it would ensure neither would pull a stunt like such ever again. “I think I drank too much.” You stated, another giggle laced in your words. He glanced over at you from the drivers seat, giving you a grin.
“Guess that was my fault.” He chuckled.
“No,” you shook your head, smiling softly. “You helped, a lot.”
“I’m glad.” He replied, turning down the street your home was nestled on. “I’m always available for free therapy and alcohol.”
“I always appreciate it. I appreciate you.” You said, watching your driveway creep into sight.
“I appreciate you, bug.” He shot back without missing a beat. The pet name made your heart warm with affection. He really was your best friend, always your biggest comfort and favourite person. Nobody else compared to him, and you hoped that no matter how the situation played out, you’d still have him by your side. A small, selfish part of you wondered why you couldn’t just fall for him; he was funny, sweet, and genuine. Any time spent with him was worth more than the world, and he was beautiful, too. For some reason, it was written in the stars that he was to be your best friend, but that was more than okay. A life with Danny as your best friend was a certain promise of a good one. As much as it sucked dancing with the devil, or the Kiszka brothers, rather, it was meant to be. Even while you wished it away, hoped you could fall out of their grasp and into someone else’s, there was a part of you that loved being loved by them.
He parked your car in its usual spot, getting out to open your door for you. He walked you to the house, stepping inside and closing the door behind you. You both went to the living room, collapsing on the couch with exhaustion, as if you’d just ran a marathon. “You’re stuck here.” You laughed, finally realizing that he didn’t have his own car with him.
“I’ll call a cab, don’t worry.” He assured you, grabbing his phone to do just that. As he found himself busy telling the company the address, you reached over to the chair beside the couch, grabbing the acoustic guitar Jake had been playing earlier that morning. As he hung up the call, you plucked at the strings mindlessly, eventually switching to a chord progression that you had grown to know very well. “Dinner and a show?” He teased, still in awe that you had hidden your talent for so long.
“You know, it would be a lot of fun to come with you guys.” You thought aloud, dismissing his joke.
“You should.” He affirmed your idea. “Even if you just came for a part of the tour.” You let out a low hum, letting him know you heard him without having to respond. Instead of pushing you further, he leaned back into the couch and watched you as you played. Once you were certain he wasn’t going to speak again, you began to sing along to the music, to the song you loved so much. Jake had pegged it as your nickname, and at first it was endearing, but the more you listened to it, the more the words resonated with the ache settled deep in your chest.
“Rock on, Gold Dust Woman
Take your silver spoon, dig your grave” you looked to the fretboard, feeling the need to focus harder because of the alcohol swarming in your system.
“Heartless challenge, pick your path and I’ll pray
Wake up in the morning, see your sunrise loves to go down
Lousy lovers pick their prey but they never cry out loud.“
You sang the rest of the song, breathless by the time you were finished. Danny had a smile stuck on his lips, understanding that sooner or later you would agree to their offer. He could tell how badly you wanted to say yes, but your anxiety was holding you back. You were thinking of the offer, too, but something more pressing came to kind in light of the song choice. Or the mimosas. Or both, maybe. You weren’t sure. Either way, Jake Kiszka had inevitably made his appearance in your thoughts once more, but it wasn’t like he had left in the first place. His presence was always existing within your brain somewhere, even if it wasn’t at the forefront.
It was horrid, never being able to escape him, but it was phenomenal all at the same time. In the last twenty-for hours, he helped you feel more alive than you ever had before. His touch was still lingering in your skin, electrifying every nerve. The memory was fantastic, but nothing compared to the real thing. He was addicting; his company was no longer a want, but necessary for survival. You wondered if you would ever be able to live without it, quickly realizing that you never wanted to find out. Before, the thought of not having Jake around was terrifying, but after having him so intimately, the idea was debilitating, stealing the air from your lungs and crushing you under its weight.
“I could listen to you sing all day, but I gotta run.” Danny broke you from your thoughts. “Plans for tonight, can’t get out of them.”
“Cheating on me, Daniel?” You let out a tsk, showing your displeasure. He let out a laugh, shaking his head.
“Could never do that to you, darling.” He said, as dramatically as possible. You put the guitar to the side, standing up with him so you could give him a proper goodbye. You pulled him into a hug a bit tighter than usual, catching him off guard. It only took him a second to return the gesture, wrapping you in an aura of comfort.
“Thank you for everything. I feel a lot better.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” He assured you. “I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon?” You nodded, head still pressed to his chest.
“I love you.” You said, parting ways with him. “And yeah, I’ll update you.” You smiled, your secret plan solidified by your words.
“Give them hell.” He said, a tone of pleading hidden in the joke. With a wave, he disappeared around the corner and the front door sounded a moment later. The second the door shut, the emptiness of the home already started to seep in.
You gathered your thoughts, shaking away the haunting feeling of seclusion, and made your way to your bedroom. Once inside, you switched the power on to your record player, resuming whichever vinyl you had left from this morning. You let your eyes flutter closed at the hum of the song cutting through the silence. Another vibration from your phone caught your attention, suddenly remembering the messages you had intended to ignore. Now, with Danny’s words sounding in your mind, and your first chance at alone-time, you channeled a new courage to reply. Your fingers pulled the phone from your pocket, eyes immediately drifting over the screen. There were a few texts from your own band mates, and when they could come over to practice. You made a mental note to respond to them later. You moved on, seeing Sam’s name adorned on a missed call. You opted to focus on him later, your eyes seeking the contact you wanted to deal with first.
The notification bar from Jake had three messages. When you tapped them, you expected to be met with filthy words to fuel your desire to get back at him. Instead, the first was a small message of thanks for letting him stay the night prior, confessing his enjoyment. It was simple, not detailed, but enough to make your heart beat a little faster and a blush to make its way onto your cheeks. The second message was a well wish for your lunch date with Danny, saying he hoped you had a good time. The third was much different, more on par with what you had expected from him.
Jacob
Let me know when you want to share some more secrets, Gold Dust Woman
You felt a surge of emotion rush to your stomach, the words so simple, but the feeling so large. It was so easy to give in to him; he barely had to look your way and you were jumping at the chance to be noticed by him. It was crazy how fast the dynamic changed, how quickly he became so important to you. Without a second thought, you were already typing a response.
You
What kind of secrets would you like me to share, Jacob?
You hit send, not expecting a response considering you had waited so long to reply. Before you could even shut the screen off, the text bubble appeared on the screen, signifying his presence in the chat. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips, happy to see that he was on your hook just as much as you were on his.
Jacob
I can think of a few
You
I’m sure you can. Care to elaborate?
His response was almost immediate, as if he’d pre-typed the words in anticipation of your question.
Jacob
Still wearing that red thong from earlier, or was that just to show off?
You enacted a plan as soon as the text was delivered and you processed what it said. You threw your phone on your bed, quickly shimmying out of your clothes and discarding them on the floor. The alcohol was still buzzing through your veins, your decisions heavily reliant on the false confidence the champagne bestowed upon you. You retrieved your phone, making a move to stand before the mirror on the opposite side of your room. You pulled up your camera, taking a few pictures from different angles, clearly showcasing the red fabric he was so curious about. The pictures that included the matching bra was just out of generosity.
You sifted through the pictures in your camera roll, picking the ones you thought were the best. You swiped back into his chat, reading his message over again. Instead of saying anything else, you sent the few photos you deemed acceptable. You went to the kitchen, unable to find a care to put your clothes back on, and turned your phone screen off. You scoured the fridge, finding a bottle of wine unopened and patiently awaiting your arrival. As you poured yourself a glass, you listened to the repetitive vibrations of incoming text messages. You looked to the clock on the wall, noting the time. Then, you took a seat in a chair and enjoyed the beverage you had fixed for yourself.
After a few moments, the texts ceased, leaving you to sit in silence and ponder your actions. You sipped away at the bitter liquid, refusing to give in to the temptation of answering him. When your glass was half empty, the vibrations resumed. This time, it was an incoming call. The ticking of the clock caught your attention, realizing you’d left him on edge for about fifteen minutes. You figured if you let it go much longer, he would show up at your front door. The thought itself wasn’t terrible, and you certainly wouldn’t mind the company, but you decided you wouldn’t push him that far. His incoming call ended, but it wasn’t long before another one sounded. With a smile on your lips, you picked up your phone and accepted his attempt to reach you.
“Hi,” you said, cheerily, as if you had no idea he had been blowing up your phone. “What’s up?”
“Ignoring me, sweetheart?” His voice was low, no angry tone or hint of annoyance. The soft inquiry sent a rush of arousal through you, just knowing that you had bothered him so badly was enough to send you spiralling.
“Why would I do that?” You asked, tipsiness laced in your voice. He picked up on it almost immediately, thinking your new-found confidence was a result of the alcohol. In truth, he wasn’t completely wrong. Although you and Danny had devised the plan, the execution was heavily reliant on intoxication. For some reason, sobriety did not help your case with either brother. Their charm and wit held you in a chokehold, any time you had the courage to retaliate, they made another move to make you submit. Despite your lack of control, it was still quite enjoyable. Now that tables had turned, that he was the one sitting and thinking about you and slowly driving himself to insanity, you had to admit that it was enjoyable, too. Maybe even more so, if you had to choose.
“Don’t be a tease, angel.” He hummed, the sound of his voice through the phone sending a shiver through you. You thought you might give in, throw the act away and beg for him to come over, but you bit your tongue and powered through.
“I thought that’s what you wanted to see, baby.” You played innocent, taking another sip of wine to keep the spirits high. Your head was buzzing, swimming with many thoughts. Most were filthy, focused mainly on how badly you wished he was in front of you, rather than on the phone. It was ridiculous how fast he consumed your entire being. Thoughts of his hands, his tongue, and how good they felt when they were on you. You missed him, even if you opted not to say it aloud. It had only been a few hours, but it was much too long for your liking. “Was that what you wanted, Jacob?”
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, bothered by your use of the pet name, bothered by the sultry tone you were speaking in. A smirk formed on the corner of your lips, cocky enough to know that you had power over him, too. “Yeah, it was, baby.” He conceded, unwilling to argue the point. “You still didn’t answer my question.” He stated, not willing to let you off the hook so easily.
“What was your question?” You asked, one last attempt to get under his skin. He let in a long breath, trying his best to stay calm while you made it a point to piss him off.
“Why were you ignoring me, angel?” He was heavy on the terms of endearment, leaving you unsure if it was because they were genuine, or if he was using them to coerce an answer from you.
“Wanted to piss you off.” You admitted, feeling no need to lie to him. “Did it work?”
“Mhm,” he mumbled his response wordlessly. Even without an explicit affirmation, you could tell it did just by his tone change. He had expected the answer, but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better. “Didn’t know you were such a brat.” He noted.
“Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.” You snipped back almost immediately. He let out a chuckle, but it wasn’t because he thought your words were humorous. It radiated a tone of shock, as if he was trying to tell you that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.
“Careful, sweetheart.” He warned. “Don’t make me come over there and fuck that attitude out of you.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You teased. He could hear the smile on your lips through your words, making it difficult for him to keep up with the act. He found your joy infectious, and the teasing fun, in a greater sense than just sexual. He enjoyed all conversations shared with you, even if there was no sexual gratification. He just loved being around you.
“I would, but I don’t think you would.” He said, simple enough to get the point across, but powerful enough to worsen the growing ache between your legs.
“Maybe you’re the sadist.” You theorized, throwing his own idea back in his face. If only he knew how badly you lived to please him, his previous accusations of sadism would be laughable.
“You’ll have to wait and see. I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.” His voice was soothing, even if the topic was filthy. You could listen to him speak all night and never get bored. He was devastatingly perfect, and he made it easier to fall for him every time he opened his mouth. Without thought, you opened your mouth to speak, letting the wine take control of the conversation.
“I miss you.” The statement was quiet, but impactful. In reality, the three words were barely loud enough to catch a normal listeners attention, but the sound was deafening, to him. When you were met with silence, a fizzle of regret formed in your chest, wondering if you took it too far. You would take it back, pretend you never said it or bury it so deep down that could never surface again, just to ensure he wouldn’t hang up the phone; the last thing you wanted was to scare him away.
Although drunk, your feelings were true. You did miss him: you wanted to stay wrapped up in him forever, whether it be just with basic comfort or with sexual nature. You didn’t care, as long as he was with you. In three days, his presence had not only caught your attention, but made home within the walls of your house. Feelings for him were blossoming from every angle, immersing you within them and tying you down with their roots. It only took three days for Jake to make you a fool for him, three days to produce a feeling that rivalled your feelings for Sam. If you thought you were in too deep before, you were drowning, now.
That’s the funny thing about love; it cares little about who it’s next victim is, only about the fatalities it leaves in its wake.
Despite equal consent to the game, fatality was most definitely the prize. By choosing to be ignorant to risk, all three of you willingly sealed your own fate. No amount of repent could save you from the consequences. Deep down, you were well aware of that fact, but the sin was so pleasurable that it no longer mattered.
“I miss you, Gold Dust Woman.” The words only solidified your desire to ignore the risk. It was the most beautiful statement you had ever heard, and it was laced with sincerity. Imbedded with so much emotion that it made your head spin, wondering if it was even possible for someone to speak with such unwavering clarity. As if he, too, realized the extent of his vulnerability, he quickly spoke to cover it. “I miss being inside you, more.” The sweet tone quickly turned into one of desire, but both of you knew it was a lie. He desperately missed the mornings activities, his arms wrapped around your waist with a kiss placed to your neck while the smell of coffee lingered in the air. Smiling and laughing, singing along and poorly dancing to the hum of the record player. Taking turns playing guitar for each other, him dedicating every song to you but leaving it unspoken. He missed the moments of silence, more comfortable than any other, where he could hear your breathing steady while your eyes fluttered closed, enticed by the idea of falling back into a slumber. He missed the fleeting feeling of you being his, and his alone. Even if the idea wasn’t wholly truthful, he liked to pretend it was.
And in a way, you were. Every part of you belonged to him in some sense, even if other forces were trying to pull you away. But neither of you would ever speak those thoughts aloud, scared of the same things, even if the ones you focused on were not the biggest threats. Instead, you played along, sad that he felt the need to discredit such a genuine confession, but relieved that you didn’t have to explain your own. You both fell in step with the devil once again, ignoring the ache in your hearts and covering it with animalistic attraction and half-truths. If only you could both hear how loud he was laughing, pleased that you carried on just how the devil intends.
“You know there’s always a place for you between my legs, baby.” You whispered, the low tone shaking him to his core, settling in his bones and breaking them under the weight of the statement. It was unspoken that the confessions of emotion would be ignored, as always. It was just the way things were. You could practically hear his need for you through the phone, even if he didn’t say anything.
“Is that what you want?” He posed the question in a derogatory manner, as if he was trying to make you to feel shameful for wanting him so badly. You could see through it, knowing that he just wanted to hear you admit your desperation for him. “You want me, baby?”
“Mhm,” You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. As you realized that, you also realized how badly you wished you could see him. Before responding any further, you clicked the FaceTime icon on his contact. Within seconds, he accepted. The screen lit up with his face, immediately giving you a sense of relief. You took in the sight, noting he was sitting in his living room. You had only been to his apartment a handful of times, but you knew it well enough to recognize it. “Hi,” you smiled, almost forgetting the nature of the conversation.
“Hi, beautiful.” He disregarded the vulgarity for a moment, too, just so he could admire you. The blush that spread across your cheeks caused a smile to break out on his lips, too. He noted the wine glass in the frame before his eyes inevitably landed on your attire, the adoration in his eyes quickly fading into lust. The distant look let you know that he was already imagining what was beneath the flimsy red fabric. Remembering what lie beneath. As much as his expression enticed you, you couldn’t let him get away with it without making a comment.
“Eyes up here, Jacob.” You scolded, catching his attention again.
“Expect me not to stare when you look like that?” He asked, a smile still lingering on his lips. “Sadist.” He smirked, the word bouncing between you both, accompanied by pointed fingers and accusatory tones. Perhaps both of you were the sadists by continuing your entanglement without caution or worry about the future.
“I know how much you love the red, but I think you’ll love what’s underneath it, more.” You said, eyes never leaving his face. You could see the muscle in his jaw tense at the thought, proving you were correct.
“I think red is your colour, sweetheart.” He noted, disregarding your words. As bad as he wanted you to remove the clothing, he’d be caught dead before admitting you were right. “Sit back, baby. Let me see the rest of you.” The order was firm, making sure you knew that it was not a request. You propped your phone against the wine bottle, obeying the instructions and leaning back in your chair, allowing him a better view. He let out a sigh, content with the sight of your mostly exposed upper body.
“Like this?” You asked, bringing your hand to your chest and gently running your fingers over the edge of the cup on your bra, gently pulling it down in the process. It was enough to tease him, but not enough to show him what he was hoping to see. You let your finger linger for a second before releasing the hold. The fabric drifted back to its original position and you let your fingers trail down your bare torso.
“Just like that.” He affirmed, visibly bothered by the show you were putting on. “Be a good girl and take that off for me.” His plea was covered with dominance in attempt to hide his neediness, but it wasn’t working. Part of you wanted to give into the request; with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to want to deny him of anything. But, that little devil in your head was as angry as ever, now fuelled by the knowledge Danny had given you.
“Come over and take it off yourself.” You replied, trying to remain unbothered by his pet names. His eyes flashed with discontent, fed up with your continuous disobedience.
“You want me to come over?” He asked, playing into whatever game you were trying to start with him. You gave a nod, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to withstand the temptation for much longer. “You need someone to take care of that ache between your legs? To make you feel so good that you can’t remember your own name?” His tone was soft, sympathetic almost, but the flame ablaze behind his pupil and the slight tension in his jaw led you to believe he was being quite misleading.
“Yes, please.” You pleaded, ignoring your worry about his honesty. The arousal pooling between your legs was beginning to feel uncomfortable, like a constant, dull pain that would eventually drive you crazy. Something about Jake always led you to believe that life without him would lead you to the brink of insanity. The constant talk of want, or desire was quite minimal compared to how you truly felt about him. Necessity was closer to correct, depending on his touch more than your own heartbeat to keep you alive.
“You need someone to take care of that pretty little cunt,” he deducted, taking in a long breath at the sound of his own words. He was just as worked up as you, debating throwing his plan in the garbage and getting in his car that instant. “And you know I’m the only one who knows how to do it right.” He finished, finding the strength to stay seated and continue his merciless taunts.
“Please come over, baby. I need you so bad.” The words slipped out easier than any you had said before, the strength you had to endure his words was breaking apart every time he opened his mouth.
“I know, angel.” He hummed, soothing you for just a moment. You thought he was going to give in, to tell you he would be there in a minute, but when he spoke again, you wish you’d never started the battle in the first place. “I want to help you out, but you haven’t been very good for me. Being a tease doesn’t get you what you want, baby. You know that.”
“Jake, please. I’m sorry.” You begged, that feeling of familiar dread filling your stomach. “I’ll be good for you, I promise.”
“If I give you what you want, you won’t learn anything.” The irritation that grew from the smirk he was wearing was unbearable. You couldn’t genuinely believe that after the entire call, he would have the nerve to deny either of you the pleasure of spending another night together. “Go take care of yourself, sweetheart. Just think of me when you do.” Your teeth were clenched, frustrated that your efforts seemed to have no effect on him.
“Just come over, baby.” You tried once more, but his mind was made up.
“If you do what I say and behave, I might come and see you later.” So that was his plan; like always, he was willing to give in, but he felt the need to ensure you would suffer, first. “Another picture might help, too.” He sent a wink your way, so subtle that you almost missed it. Before you had a chance to respond, he had ended the call and you were met with the disappointing sight of your screensaver, wishing you had one more minute to admire the sight of his face.
You had two options: deal with the issue yourself, wait it out and hope he would feel generous enough to pay you a visit after a while, or call a cab and go to him, first. As much as the second option was tempting, you knew if you did so, it would only fuel his ego even further. He was well aware of the power he held over you, and running to him would only solidify the idea in his mind. Waiting to see if he would come over might do the same, but at least you would have the upper hand. By the time he showed up, your overwhelming need for him would have time to simmer. Then, you could give him a taste of his own medicine.
So you sat, sipping away at your wine, thinking that it wouldn’t be too difficult to wait it out. The closer the bottle got to empty, the more confident you felt about the situation. If he wanted to be an asshole, you could be, too. His request for more pictures would go unanswered, and he would have to give in. Even in your drunken state, you were aware of the power you had over him, too. Confidence did not equal satisfaction, though. You nursed the last of your wine until he showed up, or until you found something better to do, quickly realizing that time would not satisfy your craving for him. With every minute that passed, you hoped the feeling would fizzle away, but the more you ignored it, the worse it seemed to get.
Eventually, as you drained the last few drops of your glass for the second time (you had to make sure it was completely empty, of course), you heard a knock sound at the front door. A jolt of energy surged through you, realizing you had won the battle without putting any effort in at all. You stood, leaving the empty bottle on the table for decoration, and wasted no time following the sound of the knock. When you reached the front door, you ran your hand through your hair, straightening yourself out to look the best you could for him. Before opening the door, you ever so slightly peeked through the blinds.
In your drunken state, it seemed blatantly obvious that it was Jake standing outside. The tuft of brown hair that caught your eye was so familiar, immediately showering you with relief. But, if you looked for a moment longer, you might have clued in that opening the door in your current attire was a mistake. Had sobriety been in the question, you would have noticed the distinctive difference, how the body was taller, a bit more slender than the boy you were looking for. Maybe, it was possible you did notice, but we’re too blinded by excitement to cognitively understand that Jake was not the one knocking on your door. You wished to see him so badly that you overlooked any possibility of it not being him standing there.
When the door creaked open, you had a smirk on your lips, ready to throw his bluff back in his face. Instead of grasping the feeling of satisfaction for Jake’s failure, dread bled into every nerve in your body. It took a moment for both of you to understand exactly what scene you had found yourself in, but when you came back from the shock, you couldn’t even find the right words to express how you were feeling. Your limbs were frozen, unable to shut the door again and your heart was stuck in your throat. Sam’s wide eyes and parted lips showcased his matching emotions, also void of a proper response. Even in his complete surprise, he couldn’t help but feel his gaze drifting over every exposed part of you that was offered. If you wanted to be dramatic, you could even go as far as to say he was drooling at the sight of you.
After a moment of staring, you took a step to the side, covering as much of you as possible behind the solid door. “Do you greet everyone like that, or am I interrupting something?” He said, clearing his throat, joking to subtly to pass off his blatant gawking.
“Um, no… and no, I guess.” You squeaked, cheeks red enough to match the fabric that was barely concealing you.
“Expecting someone else?” The corner of his lip upturned into a smirk, finding humour in the awkward moment. He knew you were likely expecting his brother, but his cockiness allowed him to use the knowledge to his advantage.
“No,” you said after a long bout of silence, trying to sound confident. The alcohol was sending the devil in your head into a drunken rampage. Your plan to play into their game was bouncing around within your skull, urging you to take the embarrassing greeting and make it into something better. If Jake wasn’t willing to give you what you needed, you were sure that Sam would have no problem helping you out. If they wanted to involve you in their mess, you should have no issue using it for your own benefit. You were both playing with fire, but the heat was gradual; welcoming at first, and only burning you after the fact, once you were too far in to turn around.
“So I showed up at the perfect time, then?” Your anxiety washed away, even finding yourself able to produce a genuine smile at his ridiculously childish response. Your eyes drifted over his face, taking in the details of his expression. He had recovered from his nervous state, too, but his eyes were still glistening with appreciation at the beauty of you before him. You could have shut the door, turned him away with an apology and let the memory die, but his beauty was captivating, and you were drawn in by the way he was watching you. If you had found yourself in the situation with a lower blood-alcohol content, the whole thing would have been ridiculous and terribly wrong. Maybe it was the wine, or the brunch conversations that lead you to the conclusion in which you were headed towards. It didn’t matter, anyway, because you had already made up your mind. You didn’t want to turn him away; you were eager to let him inside.
“I think so.” You agreed, playing into him.
“Red’s your colour, princess.” He noted, trying to catch another glimpse of what you were trying to hide from him without being too obvious. Just another blatant show that Sam and Jake were in fact brothers, and brothers indeed. Too alike for their own good, and too foolish to see the problem. “You should wear it more often.” His voice was quiet, much different than his usual chipper tone that sounded through an entire room. You had never heard him speak in such a way, except for the small moment shared in your kitchen. It was enticing, perfectly alluring and dangerously gratifying.
“You should come in,” you stated, not as a request, but a fact. He watched you for a moment, attempting to convince himself that you were serious and not just pulling his leg. When you kept your composure, no hint of anything other than a genuine nature, he made a move towards you. Once he was inside, you closed the door behind him with little thought.
Perhaps too much carelessness for such a grave decision that would ultimately seal your fate.
Lousy lovers pick their prey
but they never cry out loud
TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld
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emoangel44 · 7 months
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HI RAXZ IT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED AS IT'S BEEN A WEEK BUT!!! DURING ALL THAT I DIDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR FIC/S It's just one of those pieces of fanwork that leaves so much of an impression on someone, that it just ends up sticking and changing what you initially thought of a character, because of how well done the things most would just move aside or chalk up for simple reasons. you seem to be the only person who really does get Chara like no other, and I hope it's not strange to say you write them almost as if you know them or you are them that I'm sorta afraid nothing else will live up to how you written them and asriel in ur fan fic LOL but no matter... i will prevail. I love how you were able to portray charas self hate and self harm, i love how you didn't hold back on the ugly side of it and how far and disturbing it can be especially for someone as young as chara. There's just something so realistic about it that don't see alot anywhere else. 
I also like how you made asriel be childish, childish in a way a kid can be bratty or selfish(?) in the first half, that might not be a good descriptor but my puter is lagging from the many many words I've written for this ask so I'm making do </3 the point is you really know how to write these kids. Also enjoy that the tone of each fic is starkly different from one another, asriels pov feels grounded in comparison to charas inner thoughts
HOPEFULLY this all makes a little sort of sense, I've read both of ur fics three times so I'm praying it does, amen. ANYWAYS……. Love ur brain, would love to hear any thoughts you have on utdr in general if you ever decide to share em…. godbless. perhaps i couldve worded this better in a diffrent time but oh well, we ball. i hope u have a great day emoangel44🫡 will be looking forward for ur new utdr stuff
FIORE!!! i have been waiting for this day.. thank you so much. ive had several people say that i really get chara including like, literal veteran chara fans. its very nice to hear, theyre pretty important to me as a character. which is rather funny because the only analysis ive ever actually written on them that wasnt fanfiction was an essay on how i think theyre kind of actually a little poorly written LOL. to understand someone you have to know their weakpoints i guess... even if on a meta level.
for my asriel interpretation i try to incorporate a lot of "flowey-isms" as i say. the way i see asriel is that he was always a bit of a bratty, selfish kid that struggled with low empathy. he chooses to do what he thinks is right because he knows its right and not because it provides him with positive feelings himself... i think thats even more admirable. as opposed to this is think chara is high empathy which is part of the reason they did what they did. asriel is just way more of a people person than chara and so comes off as more understanding, charas just naturally a bit off-putting no matter how hard they try not to be.
chara and asriel are quite different people so i tried to make that clear in how i write their perspectives. chara is kind of stuck in their own head and lives in a world with walls of misery and think prose. theyre very direct but also very metaphorical. its a weird combination but it gets easier to write when taking in account their canon dialogues (one day youll get a fic from me with a more light hearted tone where chara will get to make their dog puns and nerd jokes. maybe). this is also the reason i write them with a strange mix of first and second person. it just feels natural for our narrator.
asriel on the other hand is much much more of an emotional person and is much less formal in how he thinks. he has a lot more filler words and "i-think"s and "i-feel"s and such.
i figure ill write a bit on what inspired each fic.
for my chara fic, i actually started writing it while bored in class. it was inspired a narration line in one of the fights in undertale, the one i used for the summary. the main thing i wanted to play with was metaphors and metaphors upon metaphors. mainly related to charas self hatred though the lense of soil and dirt and flowers and gardens because of course.
for my asriel fic, the main thing i wanted to play with was, quite obviously, writing from asriels perspective. i had already written 2 fics from charas perpective (the 1st one isnt as good as the other two and was mostly written as a characterization and perspective test) so i figured it was time to give him a turn, especially since it we only realy got a peak and asriels personality through charas eyes and i wanted to show it off more. the other thing that the fic ended up centering on is something my friend said to me about how they felt my chara characterization was screaming to be understood under all the hurt. basically the thesis of this fic is "asriel did not fully get chara but he was also the closest anyone ever got by a long shot which counts for something".
if youd like to see my other undertale stuff, here is some poetry ive written about chara (and asriel), here is my art tag which is full of stuff with them (alternatively, just use my undertale tag if you dont want art of anything else), here are my chara and asriel playlists that i always listen to while writing, and here is that chara essay i mentioned.
speaking of my thoughts on utdr... i actually dont post the majority of them. but id absolutely love to talk about them. so if you (or anyone else) have any questions about my thoughts on utdr or want to start a discussion about it Please do. Im actually begging you. i need more engagement guys send me asks. thank you for reading this absurdly long response
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Dating Tam Song headcanons for the poor please? Also, are you excited for the shadow and bone cast q&a? Cause I certainly am.
DATING TAM SONG
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  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FANDOM: keeper of the lost cities
  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FORMAT: headcanons
  ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: one teeny tiny angsty mention, like technically a few spoilers??
  ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: HI ALICE!!! i am over the moon for the shadow and bone cast q&a ive never been more excited for anything ever in my life
kotlc masterlist || masterlist || navigation
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BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE I STARTED THIS BLOG
okay so he is like the greatest most awesomest boyfriend ever istg
he seems like his love language would be acts of service
and also he’d genuinely be upset if you walked into a room without him opening the door for you or sat down without him pulling out the chair
he’s a gentleman let him be one <3
you’re required to be friends with linh
if she doesn’t like you it’s an immediate red flag (unless your rayni)
sophie WILL make you take a 325 question quiz to see if you’re right for her bsf
no i’m joking it’s 5 questions
anyways
he’d like shows from like the 50s-early 70s
so you’ll walk in on him watching something in black and white and be like “what’s this” and you better sit down because he’s gonna tell you the whole plot
it’s so interesting watching him talk about stuff he likes <33 his eyes light up and he starts rambling
you can tell he’s passionate about it
THIS MAN IS A BIG CUDDLER BTW
your legally obliged to not tell anyone especially keefe this but he thrives on cuddles
like even if it’s for 5 mins in the most uncomfortable position ever it’s enough to make his whole week
hed also make an insane effort to keep you away from both the neverseen and his parents
hes lost enough and you don’t need to be added to that long list <3
okay um anywyas next
hed call you the most weirdest names ever
“hey i brought that thing you wanted” “thank you baguette”
he basically just calls you foods
also we’ve seen how protective he is of linh right??? yeah that but with you is 10x worse
will quite literally follow you around
and like it’s not in a “i don’t trust you” way it’s in a “i just want you to be safe” way
he’ll back off if you ask him too
the thing is he has that “anything for you <3” mentality but it’s more like “ANYTHING for you. <3”
more threatening basically
also so help me god if someone tries to hurt you in some way
they like can’t even look at you afterwards
okay next set of hcs!!
i think he’d like
LOVE to read and hed like go to the library every other day to get 15 new books
and i have this cute little idea of him going there because you go there and it gives him an excuse to stare at you for several hours <3
its probably how you met him
but then again he seems like he’s more likely to fall for someone who’s known for a few months/years
also he can sculpt because i said so
so if you like sculptures/mythology he makes you little statues
will let you mess with his hair and braid it and put it in pigtails and stuff
after much convincing
he’s like super shy at the beginning of the relationship but as it progresses and he becomes more comfortable you can tell how much he really does like you
linh tells you not to be alarmed cause he’s just getting comfortable
also when he gets excited he has this little look in his eyes
they become all sparkly and glittery
now it’s 5x more sparkly and glittery when he’s talking to you
OH HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE A LOT
i kinda like the idea of him and a childhood friends to lovers and like he comes to your house a lot so he doesn’t have to go home
hed love holding your hands btw
no matter if they’re warm, cold, rough, soft, small, big, he loves them
will constantly be grabbing your hands and dragging you around (affectionately)
he loves kissing them also
before he’s about to leave to go do something he takes one of your hands and gently kisses it before skeddadling
he could talk to you for hours
theres times in conversations where someone will be talking and he internally WILL NOT CARE AT ALL but as soon as you have your own input/opinion he’s listening intently
also imagine going to something with him where you need to dress fancy and he sees you in your fancy pretty outfit and is like awestruck
unable to form words
thinks you are the most amazing person ever like he’d kill for you if you asked
also would love doing your hair
okay it’s 12am i have to sleep
he’s such a good bf i love him
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mydemonsdrivealimo · 11 months
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Hello! From this list for J/B.
What is the first thing they notice about a stranger?
Who would they quote?
What could make them change their mind?
What are their guilty pleasures?
What is something they're staunchly against?
If they ever cry over a song,
What is a song that will always make them cry?
(I think I may have been worse than you lol)
im actually gonna get around to answering all the asks i have sitting around woo
What is the first thing they notice about a stranger?
okay so this one was hard but honestly, for both of them, i think its queerness. ive realized that i do this and it absolutely fits them too. like if there are indicators that any stranger is queer they will instantly like them a little more than anyone else in the room. besides that though asdfghjk if any stranger has cool fashion, whether that be jewelry, a shirt, etc. theyll usually take note of that just bc its something theyre interested in
Who would they quote?
neither of them are really big on the shitty inspirational quotes, so realistically in the day-to-day itd be random tv show characters, lyrics, or comedians. and for bryce he also adds in random tiktoks that stick in his head. for jensen i assume he, like me, quotes john mulaney at least a few times a week, usually w "thats the same joke twice" and various other things (ik hes controversial but that man has cured multiple depressive episodes for me so i gotta take it where i can get it). for bryce i absolutely think he does the crazy? i was crazy once bit whenever the opportunity presents itself.
What could make them change their mind?
pftt each other? but anyway lol jensen is a facts and evidence person. he doesnt do as well when emotions are in the mix, and if theres undeniable, untampered evidence, that would change his mind pretty easily. though, there are people he has soft spots for. bryce, of course, but also people like liyah and his mom (especially his mom). hed be willing to throw evidence and facts to the wayside for them if he really needed to (again, his mom)
bryce is a little harder to convince. hes not stubborn, at least not as stubborn as jensen, but he would rather stick by the sides of people he knows and cares about than look at the facts (if they go against them). convincing him to change his mind is definitely the way to go, but it has to be from someone he trusts without a doubt
What are their guilty pleasures?
oh this one is hard. i think jensen is a really bad doom scroller. it tends to start with him looking into news or something hes interested in for a quick second, but it very quickly turns into an hour or more of just the worst shit imaginable, and a lot of the time its shit that can and/or will trigger his ocd
and bryce watches bluey. thats it.
What is something they're staunchly against?
okay i could say the obvious "dont be a pos person" shit but we all know that so heres some fun ones
jensens is wearing outside shoes in the house. if you wear outside shoes in his house you WILL be cleaning it up. he thinks its gross and rude and if he convinces himself youve brought in a disease that will kill him then thats totally unrelated to his ocd. he is happy to provide socks or youre more than welcome to leave a pair of inside shoes there, but dont wear your outside shoes into his house
bryce has a deep-seated dislike for anything that comes in the color yellow. he does not own one thing with yellow on it. he doesnt know why either, but if its in yellow, its almost a guarantee that will not like it
What is a song that will always make them cry?
jensen doesnt have any, and bryce doesnt have one song that will Always make him cry. but, if hes in the mood, he will be sobbing to literally everything. some that come to mind would be oh noel by idkhow :), my love mine all mine by mitski, and news at 9 by peter mcpoland
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rainbowgaez · 1 year
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youtube
this video is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
it's not the thing ive made with the highest view count, but this fucking doom 32x ost fart joke video has outlasted literally everything else ive done, and has by far the furthest reach of anything ive ever made. on more than one occasion, my friends have sent me videos that use this as a joke, and ive spotted that in the wild multiple times on my own. in my youtube analytics, it is always my highest viewed video and has consistently been ever since i uploaded this in march of 2017—six whole ass years ago as of this post. i have not gone any longer than probably a few weeks without someone leaving a comment on this video. by now, i have heard every single possible scatological doom-related joke/pun anyone could possibly think of. all the good jokes have already been made so through the last few years the comment section has been languishing with people making the same comments everyone else already has, or trying to make new jokes that just don't land. i would venture to say a good 15% of comments mention taco bell at least once. when i spent an afternoon trying to figure out how to replace midi instruments with samples in my DAW, i never imagined this stupid fucking joke i was making a video out of—replacing the instruments in At Doom's Gate with fart (d).wav—would get this many views, nor did i think it would appear in so many other places online, nor did i think i would be getting waves of comments on it for the rest of forever
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spindash · 2 years
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embarrassing but i jusst need to talk ok.......... under the cut because iknow itll be long um im talking abot cancer and animal death and dog like. i dont knw. attacks. & other kindof awful things so no pressure to even look or read anything. loveyou forevr
My uncle isnt going to make it the next two years even with the two surgeries and chemo the brain tumor is too much and he just got the news the beginning of this month that hes not going to make it. we all kindof knew that woukd be the case even w his last surgery but nobody knew it would be so soon. hes literally like my best friend he has been ever since i was little and he means the world to me. he got diagnosed august of last year and its been like a fucking nightmare ever since. And on top of that i lost agnes like less than a fucking week aftwr i got the news about my uncle its literally been crushing and its hard for me to want to do anything at all and nobody even wants to TALK about it im just supposed to deal alone and my dad will not stop pressuring me to finish getting my degree and get a job and i know i should and i want to but its impossible to do anytbing at all im so exhausted like physically i can barely stay awake and i just feel so isolated. And then we've been taking care of my uncles dog for the last year obviously since he cant and shes never liked me too much but she tolerates me because Im a sucker and i love giving her little treats like peanut butter and any nibbles of what im eating aslong as its safe bht i dont know whats happened in the last few weeks she has completely flipped the switch and i genuinely cannot leave my room anymore without her baring her teeth at me and growling and lunging for me. shes gotten me really bad a couple times thats what that bruise was from and i have some nasty gashes and scars on my feet and legs like ive never bled that much it soaked thru my sock and all over the floor she completely scares the shit out of me i cant even be near her without bawling my eyes out anymore. my parents are like yeah yeah well we'll talk to your uncle soon about getting her some training but not now and dont mention it because youll upset him. Like i think hes going to be more upset that his dog is trying to fucking kill me or something than you asking if he would pay for her to go. somebwere i dont know anywhere. i dont want anything to happen to her like putting her down shes not a bad dog atall she just had such a hard time with different owners as a puppy. it makes me feel awful to say but i wish to fucking god she was anywhere but here not just cuz she scares me but Im scared for the cats too. shes surprisingly aloof towards them but i dont know. i thought she was fine with me too and now. Sprry this is all crazy personal and like batshit to post online if you read all of this um. sorry do you still like me etc i dont have any joke to wrap it up with literally every good thing in my life is crumbling around me and i cant do anything about it nor do i have to tools to deal with it emotionally and i want to blow my head off 👍
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midnighteloquence · 2 days
Text
den
im gonna kms
this hasnt been saved
for the THIRD FUCKING TIME
okay lets do it again i guess fucking bitch i had such good writing in here
heres my code names up to date i guess 🙄
(leaving A out til the end :3)
Friend B: i will never have anything negative to say about her. shes literally in the top three list of people i love. shes the reason im still here. shes my day oner frfr. im so glad she pointed out my bag that one day two years ago, because idk where i’d be if i wasnt her friend. being friends with her has brought me so many other people, so much of my personal development, and in general shes just amazing. not to mention shes so pretty. she makes school actually bearable. in the morning i’ll be pissed off about waking up and she’ll pick a crane fly off the wall or smth and my mood is immediately lifted. i love her with my whole heart
Friend C: oh boy where do i start
the main subject of this rant blog. every other rant on this blog is about him. i will admit that there was a time i liked him. but that was before we even knew each other. it all started going wrong when we became friends.
i admired them because in my eyes they seemed cool. we shared similar “alternative” interests, and they had so many stories to share. but now? i wish i could stop myself from being their friend. i hate their guts, i admit that, but maybe theres a different universe out there where i could like them. where they didnt hug me non consensually, or verbally attacked me as a “joke” (because of how much they love me 🥺), or made sexual jokes about me, or would ask repeatedly for things instead of accepting i said no, or lied pathologically, or did anything of the sort. but thats not this universe, and so in this one i can have and express that i dont like them and theyre a terrible human being. i hope you burn, but i also used to like you.
got melodramatic there whoopsies
Friend D: i admired them alongside C. ironic how admiring people from afar caused them to be terrible people. i hadnt noticed D’s red flags until a couple weeks ago, where i was properly educated, and now im pissed off. theyre scum to me. not in degrading way, theyre a genuine terrible human being. which is such a pity since they seemed like such a reasonable person. did not seem like the typa person to do these typa things (i have a rant here explaining). oh well, ill live. i barely talked to them anyways. theyll stick to thinking theyre not the problem, and ill stick to ranting about them in my tumblr posts.
Friend E: blast from the past wowoowowowowowiw
i was close to them like last year summer, but dropped them ages ago this year. i had my reasons, and obviously made sure that i told them my reasons instead of just leaving because i knew that was the right thing. tbh? idr what half of those reasons were. im sure most were reasonable, but also i was extremely petty back then. nowadays i dont rlly care for them. im neutral. like if they chatted to me i would be fine with it and chat back, but i dont wanna be their friend. and its fine because they understand that and dont wanna be mine either. its the first breakup (friend breakup) ive had that ends with communication instead of leaving on read.
Friend F: yippee some positive sprinkle in yo life! i dont talk to her often but shes so cool and admirable as a human being and generally really bubbly and fun. shes the reason i ever found out im autistic! which thank you for that. they dropped D for their mental health and that’s soooo admirable and respectable of them. i admire them from afar and wish we talked more. even if we arent in the same friend group anymore, i still think theyre neat!
And finally…
Friend A: a bitch /j
okay okay for serious they are the reason im alive. im not exaggerating when i say you saved me. youre an actual angel (if not a wholeass goddess) sorry im dumping a “if not for you id be dead!” thing whoops. NEWays she makes my life and school life so much better and is so entertaining to talk to. not to mention pretty like??? im going to actually confess here and now that there were a couple times i needed you to repeat what you said because all i was thinking about is “how can someone be this pretty?” /gen /ily /p
bulleting holes- points because you did so >:3
the most creative mf on the planet when it comes to plotlines, lore, character designs. AND THEN YOU STILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE MORE PLOTLINES AND CHARACTERS???? insane dude
your make actual schedules which is maddening considering i cant even think of what im having for dinner
pretty…
hilarious because why you got me giggling and kicking my feet at your texts
CAN SOMEHOW PUT UP WITH ME YAPPING
super duper duper passionate about interests >:3
distance
science is so boring without you come back…
your remarks are so funny man like genuinely how do you come up with stuff like that on the spot
i lovevevevvrvevevevvevevvevec your clothing style ahhhh im gonna steal your clothes
i love you
thats a bullet point
ily man never forget 🤙
I think thats it! (i excluded mario, friend 1 & 2 because cba)
bye bye if tumblr doesnt save this im loading a glock
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1d1195 · 5 months
Note
I've never seen the show Glimore Girls! Ive heard good things about it though so i'll add it to my list to watch! I'm not a coffee drinker because it just makes my anxiety hell lol I wish I could though sometimes its SO tempting. The tea leaves are very common in Mexico and are even used in some dishes but personally I think it tastes so gross lol
NOT THE DOGGY PADDLE BAHHAH i chose to do that one too lol
15 MINUTES!? THE WHOLE LENGTH OF THE CAMPUS!? that sounds like a dream😭 Yeah no my campus cannot be walked in 15 minutes lol I think we all makes those jokes haha and what's wild is that I know someone who DID get hit by a student driven bus and she did not get that free tuition lol We have access to campus owned buses and regular city buses/trolley so there's a lot of movement going on which make it insane trying to get to class! Also who doesn't love carbs?! I LOVE pasta and for the past few months garlic bread has been the food i've been hyper fixating on lol The one place i do frequent a lot is the Target that my campus has solely because they have this Kombucha brand that I like. Plus I love target so any little in convince that happens on campus I go straight there hahah
Take your time with Ding! If your still in a place where you need backstory and just setting up the overall story THAT'S OKAY! It makes it so much better when there's build up and tension! I love when stories are a bit of a slow burn, it makes all the action very satisfying to see and there so much character development involved! I know it can be scary to post anything on here but this your blog Sam! You are in control of this and you can do whatever you like!
I've already read part two but im gonna give my thoughts in another ask bc it will be a long one lol so you don't have to respond to this one if you don't want too!-💜
I should NOT drink coffee for the anxiety reason but caffeine dependency is NOT a joke. I don't even feel the caffeine anymore. I love Gilmore Girls some of the jokes haven't aged well at all so please ignore those.
I would fill a swimming pool of alfredo sauce and I would eat garlic bread morning noon and night. I think about Target like once an hour. I think that my longest Target drought was two weeks (I don't even remember why I didn't go).
I'm so glad you mentioned it, because I REALLY am trying to do a slow-burn but I fear I will not be able to make it burn long enough. I am itching for them to smooch already which might be a record. I appreciate your kind thoughts! I think part of me forgets that it's not real life and I can make them literally do whatever I want? Like I don't have to explain the time it takes for them to fall in love if I don't really feel like it 😭💕😍 (I peeked ahead and saw your 2 months comment hehehehe) It was a choice but I needed a bit of time to space some things out. I don't think you'll see a time jump like that again in this one. Or at least not pointed out like that.
CAN'T WAIT TO DIVE INTO YOUR BRAIN ABOUT PART 2!
xoxo
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aromanticle · 1 year
Text
on top of that i also have to admit that every single bad experience i've had this past year + few months with people were all really my fault
i literally cannot blame someone for not knowing they were making me uncomfortable and hurting me especially when i encouraged them so much
i had a very bad night yesterday at sagu's boyfriend's house and this night her other bf was here while i was putting on my makeup and he was like mostly joking around but instead of telling him to stop i was just. honestly straight up encouraging him to make me as uncomfortable as possible. not directly but i know he couldnt have possibly known i was feeling pretty awful. neither could the guy last night when i willingly went to his house and said "yes im staying the night" and gave zero signs that i actually wished i was anywhere but there, because deep inside that's not true and i wanted to make myself feel bad so much that instead of asking him to drive me home i stayed in his room sitting on the floor next to the outlet because i felt too uncomfortable and unsafe to sleep. if i actually didn't want to feel unsafe i wouldn't keep coming back to people who treat me badly and couldn't care less about me, i wouldnt have accepted marcus's proposal, i wouldnt keep making new meeff accounts and wandering away from my friends and trying so hard to make the shadiest looking guys in any given place notice me. no matter how you look at it im the only reason i keep having really bad experiences every other week.
except for this time, which i guess is what makes it so infinitely worse and scarier and more traumatizing and its why i have been cryiing in anger and disgust and shame and why the moment i walked into a safe place those memories were instantly blocked and repressed and maybe even entirely forgotten. ive been actively looking for awful things to happen to me and ive put so much effort into making myself as vulnerable and easy to hurt as possible to satisfy my own desires that i forgot how it feels to experience things i actually don't want as opposed to things that would be terrible in any other context except for this very specific one, where even though i feel awful, its the kind of awful that brings back a certain sense of comfort and possibly nostalgia.
this, somehow, makes the whole situation so much worse. to think that all this time i thought i was re-living my early childhood in a way that would help me get over it when in fact i was just suffering for no reason and now that i got to experience what it really was like back then i realize it is as absolutely devastating and horrifying as i thought. i should have known because it hasnt even been that long. in fact, sometimes i randomly feel really bad and immediately know why. i should have known my silly little attempts at making myself the victim of several different things do not feel the same as actually having something really bad happen for real. i guess i just thought i was over it and it didnt hurt me anymore but i only felt that way because i was intentionally putting myself through it. in conclusion im so stupid i regret everything i dont want to ever leave my house again im in pain i want to sleep i want to go back in time i want to have never been born but i also know none of this will stop me from going right back into doing everything i just said i regret
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purelyfictitious · 4 years
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someone asks me my opinion on girls and i’m like ALL OF THEM???? and then refuse to give them a real answer
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wizkiddx · 3 years
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hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl
part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !
summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)
warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues
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read part 1 here!!!!
That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.
The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.
It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.
"Oh! Er Y/n?"
"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.
"Toms not-"
"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.
“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”
Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.
"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"
"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.
Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.
"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"
Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.
"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.
"Your answer to everything is tea."
Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.
"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."
The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.
"How have you been then?"
"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"
"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.
"Yeh sorry about that."
"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."
That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.
"He say that?"
"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."
"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.
"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."
This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.
He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.
"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."
Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.
"What'd he say?"
"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."
"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.
"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"
Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?
Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."
Hmmm.
You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.
And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.
And yet, Tom was a grown man.
"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"
"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "
Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.
"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.
"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"
"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.
It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.
"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.
For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.
"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"
"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."
"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."
"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."
"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.
Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.
"So."
"So."
"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.
"You never called."
"Didn't think you'd want me to."
You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.
"I wanted you to say something."
"Say what?"
"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.
"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"
You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.
"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"
The bloody cheek of it.
"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.
"You want to talk about this now?"
"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.
He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.
"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.
"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."
Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"
"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."
This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.
"I love you too."
"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.
The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.
"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.
It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.
"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."
You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.
"But why don't you want to move in then?"
There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.
You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.
?give tom a final chance w one last part?
feedback is always v v appreciated <3
tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08
people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes
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hwangsies · 3 years
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zephyr
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(n) a gentle breeze
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pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)
genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha
warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking
wc: 10k
enjoy <3
-
September
"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.
You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.
And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.
You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.
"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.
"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.
"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.
"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.
"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.
She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.
"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"
"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"
"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.
"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.
You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.
"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.
She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"
So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.
Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.
"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"
Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.
"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"
"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.
"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.
"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.
"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.
"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.
"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.
"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"
"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.
"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.
"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.
"i dont kno-"
"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.
"you know chris" you rebuttal.
"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.
"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.
"please please please" she jumps once more.
You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.
"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.
"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.
"lia" you groan.
"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"
"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.
"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"
A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"
-
The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.
Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.
“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.
She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.
“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”
“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.
“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.
You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.
The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”
“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.
The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.
“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.
Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.
You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.
“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.
“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.
“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.
“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.
Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.
One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.
Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.
“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.
“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.
“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.
“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.
“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“
“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.
He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.
His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.
“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.
“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.
“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”
“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”
“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.
“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..
“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”
“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”
Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.
“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.
You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.
“I bet” you joke with him.
“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.
“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.
“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.
“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.
“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”
“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink
“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.
“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”
He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.
-
Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.
Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.
“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.
Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.
“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.
“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.
He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”
“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.
Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.
“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.
“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.
Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.
Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.
Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.
Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.
“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.
“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.
“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.
“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.
“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.
“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.
“yea” he nods.
“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.
“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”
“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.
“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”
“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.
“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.
“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.
“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.
Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.
“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.
“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.
“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”
He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.
You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.
“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.
“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.
“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.
“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.
“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.
“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.
You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.
“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.
“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.
“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.
You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 
His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.
“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.
“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.
“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”
“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.
“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,
“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.
Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.
After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.
“where are they going?” you huff.
“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.
You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.
“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.
“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”
“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.
You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.
“any reason why?” he leans back again.
“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”
“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.
You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.
“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.
You open your mouth to speak but-
“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.
“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.
“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.
“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.
“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.
His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.
“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.
“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.
“what the-” he splutters laughingly.
“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.
He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.
“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.
“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.
“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.
“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.
“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.
The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.
You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"
He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.
"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.
You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.
His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.
You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.
He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.
You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.
“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.
“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.
Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.
“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.
Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.
“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.
“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.
“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.
For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.
“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.
-
This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.
But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.
You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.
A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.
But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.
You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.
Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.
“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.
“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.
“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.
“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.
You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.
“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“
“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.
“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”
You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.
“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.
“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.
“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.
“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.
 October
You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.
When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.
lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm
You roll your eyes, typical you think.
you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm
You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.
lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm
You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.
“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.
“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.
“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.
“hi” you smile timidly.
“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.
“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”
“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”
“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.
“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.
You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.
“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.
You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.
-
“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.
Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”
“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.
After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.
“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.
“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.
“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.
“why?” you ask back.
“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.
“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.
“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.
“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”
You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.
“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.
He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”
You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”
“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.
You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.
Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.
“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.
A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.
He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.
You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.
“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?
Yes. Yes you do.
So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.
“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.
“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.
Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.
He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.
“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.
He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.
“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.
You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.
“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.
He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.
“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.
“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.
“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.
“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.
“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.
Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.
“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.
-
“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.
Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.
“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.
“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.
“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.
“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.
“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.
“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“
“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”
You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.
“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.
“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.
“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.
“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.
“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.
“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.
“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.
“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.
“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”
You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”
She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”
“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.
“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.
“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”
“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.
“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.
“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.
“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.
“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.
Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”
  November
 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.
You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.
“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..
You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.
“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.
You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.
His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.
“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.
You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.
“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.
You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.
“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.
After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.
You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.
“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.
“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.
He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”
“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.
“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.
“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.
You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.
“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.
Woah, wait.
You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.
Mayday. Abort mission.
“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.
You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.
“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”
“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.
“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”
“shut up” you chuckle.
“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.
“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.
You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.
“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.
“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.
"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.
“alright, see ya” you shrug."
And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?
You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.
“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.
“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.
“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.
“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.
“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.
“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”
“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”
“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.
 -
 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.
“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.
“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…
“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.
“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.
“wow, hi” you hug him back.
Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.
You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.
By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.
After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.
His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.
“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”
He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.
“so do you” he grins.
“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”
“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.
“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.
“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”
“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.
“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.
“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.
“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.
“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.
“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.
“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.
“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.
“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.
“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.
You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.
“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.
“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.
-
 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.
“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.
“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.
“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.
Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.
Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.
You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.
“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.
“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.
“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.
“on me” he smiles down at you.
“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.
Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.
“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.
“who?” you ask curiously.
“tim” he grins.
“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.
“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.
“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip
“what?” you chuckle.
“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”
“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”
“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.
“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.
“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.
“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.
“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.
“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.
“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”
“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.
“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.
“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.
“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.
“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.
You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.
When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.
You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.
When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.
That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.
“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”
But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.
However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.
They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.
Oh.
There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.
“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.
The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-
“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.
“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.
You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.
“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.
You force out a smile.
“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.
“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.
“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.
“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.
“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.
“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.
Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.
“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.
“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.
“true” jisung quips.
“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.
“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.
You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.
“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.
“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.
“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.
“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.
“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.
“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”
“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.
“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.
“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.
You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.
“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.
“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.
After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”
“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.
“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.
“alight see you later” chan nods.
“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.
“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.
 December
”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“
“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”
You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.
“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.
“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”
“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.
-
You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.
“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.
Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.
Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.
“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.
You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.
“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.
After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.
The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.
Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.
“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”
“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.
“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.
“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.
“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.
“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.
A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.
“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.
“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”
“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.
“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.
You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 
A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.
You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.
He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.
“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.
“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.
“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.
A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.
The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.
“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.
“nice” he grins, nodding at you.
“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.
“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.
“from the front row, baby”
-
a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)
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taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie
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hualian-blessing · 3 years
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why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc
if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!
remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.
as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.
now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.
heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:
1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”
heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 
take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.
2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”
sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 
also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.
3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”
utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.
like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.
4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.
(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.
if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)
you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.
what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.
edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.
ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!
just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!
when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.
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malfoysstilinski · 4 years
Text
girl in the mirror | DRACO MALFOY
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MASTERLIST
PAIRING: Draco Malfoy x Muggle!Reader
WORD COUNT: 2.1k 
SUMMARY: in which draco and y/n are soulmates and can hear each others’ music, and you’ve been blasting sad songs all week, worrying draco. 
WARNINGS: one mean joke about americans sozzles 
A/N: based on the tiktoks where soulmates can hear each others’ music. i dont think ive seen an imagine like that on here so i thought i’d write one :)) also set in 2010s 
In the Wizarding world, on your thirteenth birthday, you are officially bound to your soulmate. This means different things for different wizards and witches, depending on what they valued. For example, when Blaise Zabini turned thirteen, he was able to see his soulmate in mirrors-- fitting considering how self-obsessed he was. 
Draco, however, heard music. You must be obsessed with it, he realised. He found out he was right pretty quickly, waking up to the sound of your playlists muffled in his ears and falling asleep to them too. 
It was always Muggle music too. You must be a half-blood, or even… Merlin forbid, a Muggle-born. Realising that his soulmate wasn’t going to be a pure-blood like his parents had planned, Draco kept the news to himself and worked on his vocabulary. He tried his best to bite his tongue around Granger, ignoring his friends when they made fun of their ‘dirty’ blood.
He didn’t want to hurt you when he got to meet you. 
It took Draco longer than it should have to realise you definitely didn’t go to Hogwarts. How could you when he’d be sat in assemblies, the room so silent you could hear a pin drop, and all he’d hear is the thumping of your music in his ears as if he was underwater?
“She’s probably an American,” Pansy pretends to gag, the others laughing with her. 
“Could be a Beauxbaton,” Blaise suggests. 
Draco doesn’t like to make assumptions, but he thinks you are definitely a Muggle. It’s rare, but not unheard of in the Wizarding world, especially nowadays. For the Malfoys, though, it would be an outrage. 
You play your music the most when he’s eating dinner in the Great Hall or when he’s getting ready for bed. 
At first, he hated it. He hated your music, he hated how his head was rarely ever quiet, and he hated that he didn’t know who you were in order to beg you to take your headphones out for once. 
However, Draco learnt to love your music. Songs and bands he’d never heard of before quickly became his favourites and eventually, he found himself humming your Muggle tunes in the common room or quietly singing along in his dorm when the other boys were out doing whatever. 
He learned to love having your music in his head, especially as the years rolled on and his life became harder and harder. It made him feel like he was never alone, your muffled melodies making a home in his head and pushing out all of his anxiety and depression. 
Draco wanted to dance with you to them. He liked to lay in bed at night and listen to your songs and imagine that you’re lying next to him. He bets you have a nice singing voice. Maybe you can even play an instrument or two. Maybe you could teach him how to play the guitar, and maybe he could show you how to play his favourite pieces on the piano. 
Your music is never too upbeat, but today Draco feels like he hasn’t heard a single song that wasn’t about being sad. As he trudged from class to class, Draco couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong with you. It had been going on for the past few days, and the music stopped altogether on one of the days. 
He went to bed with an empty head for the first time in a few years, staring at his ceiling. He plugged his iPod in and went to the Muggle section, playing a few of your favourite songs. It wasn’t the same. 
“What’s up with you?” Blaise demands as Draco doesn’t touch his meal for the second time that day. 
Draco glances to his friend and looks away, shaking his head. “Mind your own business, Zabini,” he mutters weakly. 
Blaise’s soulmate, a Slytherin in the year below, joins them at sitting on the table and Blaise immediately forgets all about Draco, the two of them giggling as they hug each other. Draco thought he could throw up right there and then, shaking his head in disgust. 
Green was Draco’s colour and Merlin was he jealous. 
Why did you have to be a stupid Muggle?
Draco immediately feels bad for even thinking it. He wants to hug you and kiss the top of your head and mutter apology after apology. The soft feeling makes him feel weak. You did things to him that nobody else did, and he doesn’t even know who you were. The fact that you were most likely going through a rough time right now made it ten times worse. 
“What’s wrong with Draco?” He hears Zabini’s girl whisper. 
“Why don’t you ask me yourself?” Draco snaps, lip curling in disgust. “Instead of talking behind my back like a coward!”
“Draco,” Blaise growls. “I don’t know what’s up with you, mate, but you need to calm down.”
“It’s your soulmate, isn’t it?” Pansy quirks an eyebrow from opposite them. “Are they playing that rubbish song you hate on repeat again?”
“No,” Draco hisses in defence of you. “I like that song, thank you.”
Pansy holds her hands up. “Okay, whatever. Sorry, Malfoy. What has got your knickers in a twist, then?”
He hesitates. He doesn’t like talking about you to anybody else but he’s really worried and he thinks maybe one of them might be able to help. 
“She’s…” Draco’s eyes drift to burn holes in the table in front of him. “She’s been listening to sad songs.”
Goyle snorts, making Draco’s head snap to him in fury. 
“Sorry, Malfoy, sorry… But that does sound ridiculous, mate,” Goyle admits. “She’s probably just into that… genre?”
“No, you don’t understand,” Draco huffs and shakes his head. “You don’t know her like I do. Something’s wrong with her, I can tell.”
“Well, why don’t you visit her?” Blaise asks, grabbing a grape and popping into his mouth. 
“What?” Draco spits. “Is that a joke, Zabini? I don’t find it funny--”
“I’m not joking,” Blaise frowns. “Merlin’s sake, Malfoy. Do you not pay attention in Charms?”
“Of course I do,” Draco hesitates, lying. “But what are you talking about, anyway?”
Draco feels ridiculous as he stands in front of the mirror in the bathrooms later that night. It’s silent since it’s the middle of the night, but Draco knows you’re awake because of the glum music playing faintly in his ears. 
He wants to visit you like Blaise told him to do, and as he stands in front of the mirror and casts his incantations, he can’t help but wonder if this is a setup. He doesn’t give his hopes up, doesn’t hold his breath that when he opens his eyes you’ll be on the other side of the mirror. 
But he wants you to be. He wants you to be there so badly. 
Draco does sort of believe it so he put on his black turtleneck and black suit and combed his hair like usual, replacing the uniform and robes he’d been wearing all day. He doesn’t want you to see him and be disappointed. 
He knows he won’t be disappointed no matter what you look like or what you are. 
Draco takes a deep breath as he lowers his wand and closes his eyes. When he counts down and opens his eyes, he’s stunned into silence by the sight in front of him. His heart skips a beat and he nearly chokes on his own spit. 
Staring back at him in the mirror is not his own pale reflection but what looks like a bedroom. The mirror glows orange from the lighting and he can see that it’s decorated with posters and records and other Muggle things. Draco doesn’t even process that you’re a confirmed Muggle at this point, he doesn’t care enough about that. 
On a single bed in the middle of the room, sat up in the very centre with headphones in and a laptop in front of her, is a girl his age. She’s got beautiful y/s/c skin and y/c/h locks that have been thrown up into a messy bun, her y/c/e trained on the screen in front of her as she watches what he assumes is a film or a tv show. 
She’s wearing a school uniform, not quite as posh as Hogwarts’, and it’s slightly crumpled from sitting in her bed with it on. Her polished black shoes are nowhere to be seen, rips in the bottom of her tights no doubt from wearing them thin five days a week. 
Draco can’t believe he’s looking at you right now. He reaches his hand out, eyes widening when his fingers seem to slip past the glass and he’s sucked into another world-- your world. He wasn’t expecting it to happen, a small yelp leaving his lips as he tumbles straight out of the mirror hanging on your wall and onto your carpet. 
You both scream as you make eye contact and you’ve thrown your laptop about in a panic. There’s no music in his ears now that he stands in front of you. Draco breathes heavily, unsure what to say. 
“Um, hello?” He offers. 
“What the hell?” You yell. “What are you doing in my bedroom? Who are you? My laptop!”
You ignore him as you dive off of the bed and pick it up. The screen is smashed making you glare at him harder. 
“I’m sorry!” Draco practically squeaks. “I- I have Galleons--”
“Who are you?” You cut him off roughly. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Draco keeps repeating, hoping you will calm down. “I-I’m Draco Malfoy.”
“Draco Malfoy?” You repeat with a mocking laugh. “Is that a joke?”
“No,” he replies, voice pitched higher than usual with offence. “What’s your name?”
Normally you wouldn’t tell a stranger your name, but this situation is anything but normal. You stare at the boy for a few seconds, wondering why he feels familiar. There’s something about him that has you relaxing under his gaze, which is weird because he literally just appeared out of nowhere. 
“Y/N Y/L/N,” you reply sceptically. 
Draco smiles, “beautiful name.”
“Are you like a nonce or something?”
“Nonce?” Draco crinkles his nose in confusion. 
You narrow your brows at him. “You’re literally British-- how do you not know what that means?”
“I’m not… I don’t really come from your kind of England,” Draco doesn’t know how to explain there is an entire world she’s been hidden from-- this is the first Muggle he’s ever had a conversation with. 
“Are you Welsh?” 
“Do I sound Welsh to you?” Draco cocks his head to the side, already amused. 
“Sometimes I can’t tell the difference, not gonna lie,” you reply. “But no. I’m sure you’re English. You sound like you’re a private school kid or something.”
“I guess I am,” Draco replies quietly, looking around your bedroom and taking in all of the colours that it has. 
You seem to snap out of whatever daze you were in. “Hey! You distracted me. Now tell me what the hell you’re doing in my bedroom before I call the police.”
Draco’s tongue darts out to wet his lips as he contemplates his next words. He hesitates and sits down on your bed next to you. You can smell his cologne-- it smells much more expensive than the Lynx sprays the boys at college seem to be obsessed with. 
“Do you ever hear music in your ears?” He asks, watching your eyes widen in conformation. “You do. That’s… that’s me. My music. I hear your music too. You listen to it all the time. Um… normally a lot of bands and stuff.”
There’s a long silence. “Do you have me on Spotify?”
“What’s Spotify?” Draco’s nose crinkles. 
“You probably just see what I listen to on Spotify!” You claim, standing up as you become weary of the boy on your bed. 
Draco still doesn’t quite understand your Muggle terminology, but he gets the gist of what you’re trying to imply. 
“That doesn’t explain the music you hear in your head from me,” Draco tries. “Or how I just came out of your mirror.”
You look overwhelmed. “What are you?” You whisper. 
“We, Y/N, are soulmates.”
...
yuh
PART TWO HERE
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Text
Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)
Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin
•—–—–·†·–—–—•
Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.
Let's start with the Sirens.
Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.
"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy
"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).
"Is she alone?" - Ivy
"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.
"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy
"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"
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Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.
•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•
Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.
"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.
They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.
They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.
•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•
Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.
"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time
As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.
"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman
Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.
"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda
"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities
"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.
"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine
Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.
"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile
"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria
"ehh close enough." - Harley
"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman
"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley
"Cool." - Maria
"Harley." - Ivy
"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman
"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley
'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman
"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley
"Sure." - Maria
Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.
"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley
Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.
"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.
"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.
"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman
"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria
"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley
"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment."  Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.
"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."
"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley
"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy
"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman
"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley
"Oh sh-t." - Maria
"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.
"He's gonna kill me." - Maria
"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy
"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria
"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley
"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman
"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley
"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman
"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley
"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman
Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.
•—–·–—•
"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria
.........
"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley
"The poor chicken." - Maria
"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.
.........
"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley
"That depends." - Ivy
"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.
"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley
"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria
"I'm good with that." - Ivy
And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.
Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.
…………………………
Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.
"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.
"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.
"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.
"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.
"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.
"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.
•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•
"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony
"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce
"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony
"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce
"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony
"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce
"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.
"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.
•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•
Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.
"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina
"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria
"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."
•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•
"Selina I need to ask-"
"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina
"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason
"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce
"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina
•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•
Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.
"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina
"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria
"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley
"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.
"Where was she last seen?" - Selina
"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce
Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.
"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina
"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony
"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.
"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina
•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•
The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.
"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason
"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick
"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason
"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick
"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim
"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick
"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce
"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony
"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.
•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•
Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.
"... Harley?" - Maria
"Yeah hun?" - Harley
"I can't sleep." - Maria
"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.
Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"
"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.
After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.
"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley
"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria
"Yes Maria" - Mullo
"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.
"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley
"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria
Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.
"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley
"I've got a plan." - Multimouse
…………
Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.
"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse
The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.
"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."
"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse
"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.
"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.
"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse
"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley
…………
They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.
"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse
"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley
As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.
"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina
"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley
Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.
"... You didn't." - Selina
"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley
"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy
"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.
"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background
When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.
"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse
"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse
Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.
"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man
"Multitute!" - Multimouse
Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.
"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin
Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.
"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley
"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.
"Where to?" - Multimouse
………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.
"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse
"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley
When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.
"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred
"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley
"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred
"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley
"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara
"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred
"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph
"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria
"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph
"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria
"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred
"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley
"Thank you Alfred." - Maria
"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara
…………
In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.
"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph
"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara
"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria
Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.
"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara
"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley
"Good idea Harley." - Barbara
"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley
"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara
"Then let the games begin." - Maria.
•—–—–·†·–—–—•
Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞
〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
1st Place★: @animegirlweeb ☕ , 2nd Place★: @jumpingjoy82, 3rd Place★: @zalladane, 4th Place★: @jayjayspixiepop, 5th Place★: @arty-shadow-morningstar, 6th Place★: @smol-book-nerd, 7th Place★: @irontimetravelflower, 8th Place★: @fandom-trapped-03, 9th Place★: @meme991001, 10th Place★: @buginetye, 11th Place★: @blackroserelina, 12th Place★: @jessigurl-design, 13th Place★: @adrestar, 14th Place★: @moon5608, 15th Place★: @little-bluestar, 17th Place★: @myazael, 18th Place★: @our-preciousss, 19th Place★: @wolf2118, 20th Place★: @nyx-in-line, 21st Place★: @kking13, 22nd Place★: @lunerlover2024, 23rd Place★: @moonlightstar64, 24th Place★: @corporeal-terrestrial, 25th Place★: @kashlyn, 26th Place★: @tbehartoo, 27th Place★: @heart-charming, 28th Place★: @solangelo252, 29th Place★: @t1dwarrior-of-earth, 30th Place★: @lady-phoenix-of-tardis, @lupagrimm
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manias-wordcount · 2 years
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hey you !!! thank you!!!!!!
hi guys this is a little late to the party but ummmmm,,,,,,,, thank you so much for 2K followers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
(me, lowkey invading the spike spiegel/reader tag on ao3):
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life and my household have been very hectic lately, but seeing so many people enjoying my work makes me really happy even when i can hear my sister rant to her boyfriend about me through the walls. anyways
i started writing fanfic a long long time ago (think baby mania era) but ive only started back up right before the pandemic (literally the last week of 2019 whewwww) but its crazy to think that i started this blog back in novemeber 2020 and now have 2K followers !!!!!!
okay scroll past this if you dont care for mania lore bc im just ranting to make myself tired before finally heading to bed BUT
 i think i mentioned this a little bit before but everyone, especially my mom, assumes that i've always been a math/science gifted kid (spoiler alert !!!!!!!!!! im not babey !!!!!! never was !!!!!!!!! send help !!!!) so whenever i would write short stories to show her, she'd basically tell me to leave the english stuff to my sister bc i just was not good. jokes on her though !!!!!!!! bc in writing this shit and trying to post as much as i can, i really feel like im proving everyone wrong while honing my skills !!! im also taking a creative writing course at school during my fall semester (unless i drop it oops) so expect better quality work soon !!!!!!!!!!! 
i hope.
okay mania lore drop over. maybe you’ll get more later. if promise you it’s both interesting and boring. and not worth your time
BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY AGAIN THANKS YOU GUYS. and this doesnt go to out to just my followers but any and everyone who has read and enjoyed my work!!!!!!! its crazy to think i have people have a silly lil moment over smth i wrote about their favorite set of pixels. im happy you guys are enjoying yourselves and im happy i can make help make your favorite characters reach out to you !!!!!!
OKAY MY BACK PAIN IS BACK MANIA OUT BYE
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