#just because you’re Aro doesn’t mean you’re ace

[grimaussiewitch]

empires s1 jausage for the aro ship bingo?

Oh wow I haven’t watched empires s1 in so long. Compared to season 2 I see them more as a enemies to friends. But it definitely gives me the vibes off “maybe in another universe we’re better together” and whether or not that’s romantic or not is up to you. I really need to look back at season 1 now lol.

[literalcyborg]

Everyone is all for sex positivity until aroallos want equality, huh?

Everyone is all for stopping the sexualization of women until they’re ace, hm?

Everyone is all for community and openness until cishet aces or aros want to be rightfully recognized as queer, right?

Stop the aphobic bullshit and take a step back. Look at your biases. Look at the language you use and realize how mean you’re being. Learn from your mistakes and become a kinder person.

I used to be aphobic. I didn’t understand how someone could feel little to no romantic attraction especially, and it was because I am very alloromantic. But that is exactly how homophobes look at the rest of the queer community. Since they don’t experience the attraction we do, the choose to believe it’s not real.

Just because you don’t fully understand what it’s like to be aspec doesn’t mean you should be hating aspec people. They are queer too. Fucking treat them as such.

[hazelfoureyes]

why smut with an ace character?

This person was a minor so I won’t reply directly. I would love to discuss sexual orientation and the wibbly wobbly nature of attraction and pleasure to someone who I think needs a space to discuss it but as an adult stranger? That’s not my place and I would be wildly uncomfortable doing so directly. But! For anyone who does see my blog and wonders why, I’ll have this set on my master list to save me time

Heheheheh MY TIME HAS COME

closing in on 5 months of being on tumblr and this is my first “BUT ACE!” Comment/inbox

so, why?

✦Alastor is canonically Ace! The aro aspect was mentioned by an important staffer but has been left off as a descriptor by Viv herself and no accepted as canon. She gave her explicit permission to write them as we are comfortable with.

✦Asexuals can and do fuck! 💦 (my source? My ace spec partner!)

✦Alastor’s ace spectrum is often times an important aspect of my stories!

I always have Alastor motivated into sexual situations for non-sexual reasons.

Closeness, intimacy, fulfilling a partner’s needs, a biological imperative, for power, for control, putting someone into a submissive to embarrassing position. It’s to see someone break and bend to his will (with consent).

But lets shift into asexuality now --- how I write him isn't a representation of all ace people! It’s just how I view his place on the spectrum. Being Ace doesn't mean you can't ever want sexual pleasure in any form, it doesn't mean you never think about sex or enjoy seeing it.

Letting people explore the range of being asexual is as important as with any other sexual orientation. If you feel people being non-sex repulsed and being Ace is making your own identification harder to make clear to strangers —- well then I wonder if the label itself is more important to you than the community we all desperately seek and need when we publicly acknowledge our sexuality. We publicly say we’re LGBTQIA+ because these labels are for self identification and signal to like minded people and allies we're here. This is how I love and how I want to be loved. Maybe one day a different word will exist to separate the spectrum but we’re living and working with what we have today and how we find each other now. “Why not call him grey ace?” It’s each individuals decision how they wanna identify!

Full circle. Why do I write SO much smut about an ace character? Of course I think that animated deer man’s personality is hot lmao but also because I love this character and identify with him a lot! Being ace doesn't mean he doesn't ever have sex or ever enjoy physical pleasures! Writing about someone seeking out pleasure for non-sexual reasons is very fun for me as someone who doesn't identify with the romantic aspect of sex many people put on it. Do ace people fuck for romantic reasons? Yes! Absolutely! Being Asexual doesn’t mean you’re Aromantic!

Why not write fluff or QPR? Because I'm aromantic and it's harder for me but I am trying and am getting better at it because I want to write more things that meet the needs and wants of many kinds of people. As for QPR, I'm still learning what those relationships look like and learning how to idenfity them in my own life!

And finally— it’s valid to write him as any form of Ace or even not Ace at all! I prefer to keep him Ace spec but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to make him not. He’s not real and the creator has given us permission to do so. 👌🏼

[archivomeow]

here are some harmful aro stereotypes 💚🤍🩶🖤

there are probably so many more stereotypes, but those are the ones that i see more often! also i already posted same post about bisexuality, so check it out —> here.

aros are heartless — most people think that, because they assume aromantics do not love, they love. they can love their family, their friends, their pet or even themselves (this one is specifically for my afamilial & aplatonic folks). there is so much more complexity to love than romantic love and anyone who puts romantic love above all else is lame. like im sorry, but romantic love isn’t somehow better from self-love or love to your friends or family.

aro and ace are the same — this is also about asexuality, but aro ≠ ace. i see some people use the term asexual to describe both the aro & ace experience and to me it makes no sense since they’re completely different things. aro & ace can co-exist and one person can be on both spectrums, but that doesn’t mean all people are the same, not all aros are ace, not all aces are aro. so what is aro & ace? both are a spectrum. if you are aromantic you do not feel romantic attraction OR feel it under certain circumstances only (ex. when you know someone well, when someone likes you you like them back or until someone likes you back you like them). if you’re asexual that means you do not feel sexual attraction OR only feel it under certain circumstances.

aros can’t date — aros can in fact date, some people on the arospec experience attraction (rarely or under certain circumstances) so it makes sense they can date. there are also aros that do not experience romantic attraction, some date even though they do not experience the same feeling. they can like the person, care for them deeply and affectionately, but it is simply not romantic love, but they can chose to date the person. not all aros are loveless or romance repulsed.

i can ship xyz, aros can date — this is targeted tbh, i keep seeing people bring this up in Yelena Belova discourse about her aromanticism, while it is true aros can date, some chose not to, some are simply not interested in it and if a character in canon is showing no interest in romance or is repulsed by it, they don’t need to be fixed, they don’t need to be put in a relationship, they can just exist in peace. i especially dislike allos shipping aro/ace characters because they just see them as allo at that point, like im sorry, but they don’t give a shit about aros if they can’t listen to them explaining why you shouldn’t ship a specific aro character.

aros aren’t valid — bs. just bs. they are valid, whether you’re a man, a woman, a gender outside of the binary, whether you’re asexual as well or not, whether you want to date or not, you are valid as long as the definition applies to you!!! honestly here’s how i can explain being aro: if you are straight you are only attracted to opposite gender, so you don’t like same-sex, so just like you don’t like same-sex, aro’s don’t like same-sex & opposite gender.

[scretladyspider]

Asexual and aromantic are not “spicy straight trying to be special LGBT”.

This argument, much like “you’re not really bi/pan if you are with someone of the opposite gender”, asks for visibly performative queerness then ignores the inherent queerness in these experiences.

If being straight is being allosexual, heterosexual, heteroromantic, alloromantic, and cisgender, all at once, then a person only needs to not be one of these to call themselves queer if they want to.

This always ruffles feathers, but..cishet isn’t the inherent opposite of queer.

Allosexual — not ace or under its umbrella

Alloromantic — not aro or under its umbrella

cisgender — aligning with your gender assigned/designated at birth

Heterosexual— sexual attraction to the opposite gender

Heteroromantic — romantic attraction to the opposite gender

If all aces and aros were cishet, which we’re not but just for the sake of this example, how would this detract from the queerness inherent in asexuality and aromanticism? Each are complex spectrums of a fundamentally different experience than the world teaches us we should have.

Aces, aros, and bi/pan people in “straight passing” relationships are often lumped into cishet as a way of delineating “not queer”, regardless of other factors. But this dismisses queerness and asks for specific, unnamed perimeters to be met for it to be recognized.

When presented with ways that experiencing little to no sexual attraction, or little to no romantic attraction, are in fact in opposition with the expectation for everyone to have both (allonormativity and amatanormativity or amanormativity respectively), people don’t accept it. Or rather, they don’t accept it as a thing on its own. Sometimes this means getting treated as if you’re just trying to be edgy, as if proclaiming you’re part of a marginalized group gives social media clout or something. Other times it’s just not treated as enough on its own by other queer people.

This happens in ace and aro spaces too. Cishet is used often as shorthand for “not queer”, directly pushing away aspecs who may be cishet and also ace and/or aro. It doesn’t seem intentionally exclusionary, but unintended exclusion is still exclusion.

This reflects, also, the expectation of performative queerness that is thrown at bi and pan persons both in and out of queer spaces. There are also many aces and aros who are bi and pan, and who may or may not be cisgender.

The reality however is there is no way to “perform” queerness that is satisfactory to all who demand it. The result this odd sort of existence where when one appears queer “enough”, that is used as weaponry against them, but when it isn’t, it’s used to exclude queer people from queerness.

And the real kicker is asexual and aromantic are enough. Bi/pan folks are still their orientation regardless of what their relationship looks like. Gender is it’s own thing, separate from the others, but related because this all ends up being a pile of queer identity spaghetti.

Regardless of how queer a person appears to you, or if you understand their individual experience… Ace is enough. Aro is enough.

The demand for performative queerness is used to try to defend from harm, but it ends up attacking anyone not visibly queer enough to the beholder.

We need to be more explicitly inclusive — especially in our own spaces, but also outside of them when talking about how queerness operates. If someone else’s queerness makes your idea of queerness more complicated, that’s not a bad thing. Learn from that, and let them be.

If you see someone is ace or aro and then see they’re more like you than you thought they could be, or that they don’t engage with it how you expected, that’s not a reason to be exclusionary. It’s a reason to try to expand what you include in your idea of queer.

Once, you needed someone to include you to feel comfortable in your queerness.

Set your ego aside and extend a hand to those you don’t quite understand. Be inclusive. Especially if someone’s relationship to their queerness challenges what you thought was possible.

thank you for reading if you like this please consider contributing to my moving expenses, there’s $425 to go and anything and everything helps

you can also find my blog, my links, my socials, read/listen to interviews, or just say hi here on my linktree

thank you again for reading and remember to be inclusive! Other queer people are not your enemy. have a nice day!

[evamaury]

RANT!!

i hate that the one time aro/ace stuff is being recognized as an orientation is to excuse aro/ace erasure by saying that aroace ppl can still date and what not

like… yeah we can… but the character is clearly repulsed 😭 whenever something is implied for a characters sexuality, everyone immediately says it’s canon unless the implication is that the character is aromantic/ asexual repulsed istg

usually ppl say that talking abt this sorta stuff is pointless because the fandom will just do whatever they want anyway, and you’re right, but that doesn’t mean that i’m not allowed to feel upset?? like let me speak my truth girl

i can literally go on a whole tangent with how i feel abt everything just in relation to this. aro/ace ppl have had such bad and minimal representation for like ever so it just feels so invalidating seeing a once in a life time occurrence of an aro/ace character being a thing just to be dwindled down into an allonormative character all under the guise of “aro/ace ppl can still date / have sex!” like, obviously, but you’re missing the point.

tbh, i feel like we just need more aro/ace repulsed characters in general just because romantic and sexual relationships are so normalized and just EVERYWHERE.

like i would love demi, grey, aego characters and so on but the world is just not ready for characters lacking/ not feeling romance and sexual feelings yet so baby steps i suppose

also before anyone comes at me for “invalidating” aspec ppl im literally asexual and cupioromantic myself sooo 🤓

[frozenjokes]

long list of mcyt ships and my dumbass opinions this post was getting too long and I have so much more to say

skizzpulse: needed to write about this because I don’t ship them at all but something is deeply weird about them in a way that is neither platonic or romantic. They have transcended human definitions of Relationship to me. No they’re not a QPR either. They’re weirder. Whatever you’re thinking they’re weirder. Do not separate. Attached at the hip.

etho: etho is in a realm of his own where I simply can not ship him. he’s not doing the romance. he’s not doing the qpr. he’s not doing shit. And it’s not because he can’t pull bitches; he is swagless and a loser in a way that brings ALL the boys to the yard (as opposed to Grian who is similar except he can’t pull anyone), he’s simply getting weird with it. He walks right past any sort of relationship into something deeper; resident sopping wet animal. aro/ace also but this isn’t nearly as relevant as the autism

cubscar/convex: favorite hermitcraft ship and it is not even close. It is NOT EVEN CLOSE. in the way scarian are both covered in lighter fluid and holding matches, convex are also doing that except it’s become a game of who can set the other on fire without being lit up themselves, and they’re both having the times of their lives (ends with both of them on fire every time without fail and it’s usually scar’s fault). they’re insane about it. the vex shit???? insane. their minds are beautiful and deeply wrong. I think they should kill each other.

solidaritimes: I will never forgive Scott smajor for separating scar and Jimmy in secret life he has no idea what he took from me. In a world where Jimmy is often the butt of the joke (by his own volition, I understand) the sheriff deputy thing was fucking beautiful. Sunshine and rainbows, love and support and adoration and everything good and healthy. A massive breath of fresh air and easily my favorite part of the hermitpires crossover. They mean everything to me. I’ve never seen such losers be so in love. Failgirl power.

redscape: another banger. These guys are GOOFY and I think Scar hits a magical combination of being Completely Exasperating vs Setting Off Mumbo’s Bullshit Radar which makes them bounce off each other in a lot of fun ways. They are versatile as a couple between banter and shenanigans and dedication, it’s a pairing I generally think of as very healthy and fun and if you also like all of these things don’t read my Boatem Ghosts AU because I make redscape awful and Mumbo pays the full price! Whoops! I love to think about them falling fast if I am writing them as romantically/sexually inclined characters, where Scar is frustrating but at the same time charming and silly in a way that draws Mumbo in. Mumbo on the other hand challenges Scar and chips away at his facade in ways he finds exciting. I like a Scar that wants to prove himself to Mumbo, win him over, where Mumbo is just lightly exasperated about the whole thing.

cleo/cub: probably the only pair on this list that I think are friends normal style. I just really adore normal style friends cleo and cub feuding about their museums so I had to tell you. I need to write them as friends more often. I love thinking about cub helping cleo fix up her stitches as well as other maintenance on their body. guys who nudity doesn’t matter to they’re both just chilling with their shirts off. special platonic dynamic to me.

ranchers: I don’t care about ranchers

moonrot: I don’t normally ship cleo and pearl in most of the smps or whatever. However. The specific dynamic they have in my boatem ghosts au makes me a little insane I really like them together. Pearl is a little bit deranged in her Wanting Revenge On Scar but ougghg that pirate scar’s hanging out with… she’s so cool… and then Cleo brings them to the ghost island and Pearl thinks she’s even cooler cleo is So Awesome ougghggh and then she gets worried because Scar is a Ultra Murderer TM so she’s quite protective over Cleo and doesn’t like Scar being around them AT ALL but her ass is dead so she’s not doing shit about it. The pining once Scar is out of the picture is Out Of Control. I should write a one shot about this.

ethubs: I think this is the only ship I can honestly say has ever been too weird for me. I think they’re deranged in a way that makes my skin crawl. I am deeply afraid of them. They’ve never kicked it normal style in their lives. I look at them and I don’t know what I’m seeing. It scares me. I respect this ship deeply and leave freshly slaughtered sacrifices at an altar once a week in a hope that will be enough for ethubs to leave me alone.

[babiebom]

Hello hello. I just recently stumbled across your blog and in celebration of the 1.6 update (and also just outta pure curiosity), I wanna ask about the SDV bachelors reactions to a farmer who's ace/uncomfortable with intercourse but still wishes to pursue a loving relationship with them. If this ask isn't up your alley, feel free to disregard it. Hope you have a good day ✌️

A/N: hiiiiiiiii!! Obligatory I am not a part of this community(I am cishet lmao) so I am just going to have to try my best!! I am not ace or aro or anything but like never feel bad for sending an ask like this!! By the time you see this it’ll probably be like next week or something bc I do take little writing breaks so it isn’t absolute trash but I hope when you see this you enjoy it!!

Tw:mentions of sex, some cursing maybe,

Bc: idk at least 5 or 6 for each bachelor

Stardew Masterlist

Sebastian

Is this a joke?

No? Okay.

Would be disappointed at first because let’s face it dude is constantly horny

But would get over it rather quickly like just because you don’t wanna have sex doesn’t mean he can’t run one out

And now that you’re dating it’s easier than ever to do that because he finds you so attractive.

So not really all that disappointing when he thinks about it, really

Sam

Dude for real? Like ever? I mean I guess that’s okay

Sex isn’t the top thing on his list so it’s fine

Like yeah he would like to have it but it’s whatever

Would rather give up skateboarding and music than give you up so not having sex is easier than that by a long shot

Can he still get kisses tho??? That’s all he’s really worried about

Shane

I think the least affected and disappointed out of the bachelors

He has more things to worry about than having sex

It’s not that he isn’t attracted to you

It’s that you loves you for you and sex is the last thing on his mind when he’s thinking about bettering himself and taking care of Jas and his chickens the list goes on

Would actually be so chill when you have this conversation like “yeah okay, that’s fine.” And would never make you feel bad about it because he honestly doesn’t mind

Elliott

Tries not to react on the outside.

I think before you two start getting hot and heavy it probably wouldn’t have come up

Because I think Elliott would want to be a gentleman and not bring it up until you do

And during a particularly heated makeout session he tries to take it further to test the waters when you stop him in his tracks

And he’s like oh…okay!

He’s good with whatever you give him

Sometimes he’s disappointed when he gets the urge but gets over it very quickly because he obviously knows how to handle those feelings himself.

Alex

“Like…at all?”

Would be high key disappointed because dude likes to fuck tbh

BUT at the same time you aren’t just some random whose pants he’s trying to get in

You’re quite literally the love of his life (if anyone asks him he will never say he believes this because he’s scared of rejection)

So it takes a minute but he accepts this with literally a “welp back to using my hand” mentality

Like when he thinks about it, sex is literally the least important aspect of your relationship, he fell for you because of who you are not because he just wants to fuck.

Harvey

I think he wouldn’t really be disappointed but like dang y’know?

Like he doesn’t care that much about sex to really be disappointed

But does enjoy the act of sex, especially with a person he’s connected to like you two are

So it’s not as far as disappointment but is still like oof okay.

Out of all the bachelors understands the lbgtq+ community better than the others so isn’t really all that surprised when you talk to him about it.

He knows what it is and doesn’t mind, you don’t have to explain yourself, you’re valid how you are he doesn’t mind and he won’t and doesn’t want to force you to do anything.

[devine-fem]

I wanted to talk about Damian’s sexuality.

That comes out weird, I know but this is prompted more so because I saw someone post about how he’s always been straight and op didn’t understand how people were so surprised when he started dating Nika. Then someone took a jab at Damijon + another person who said they didn’t understand the concept of Damian not understanding queerness.

I think that Damian doesn’t understand queerness but I’ll get into it toward the end of the post.

This will be put in two parts. One for Damian and how he feels about his sexuality and Damian’s internalized homophobia.

Let’s start with his canon love interest; Flatline. Flatline unlike his other attempted love interests was supposed to be taken seriously and didn’t suck. Compared to the others on this list, we should be rejoicing at Flatline.

Then this person used panels where it suggested that Damian had a sexual interest in a woman.

Almost every single person Damian has been interested in has been treated like a joke and not taken seriously. Some women are much too old for him and just awful picks.

Katana… why… stop please. Another example of them only doing it as a joke. This is so weird considering she’s much older.

Supergirl. Another joke. And much older.

Djinn… I don’t even know why…

Cassie Sandsmark… in a Earth, nice one Tom Taylor.

He has a couple more one off ones that weren’t taken seriously as well.

I know he got a cheek kiss from Emiko. He also dated Raven in an animation but I feel it was more a plot device. Also there are a lot of sexual jokes about Damian and I hate because he’s supposed to be ten by that time… there were some weird sexual impilcations when he teamed up with steph and I don’t know why writers do that instead of exploring the potential of their characters together and relationship…

Now let’s get into how Damian personally feels about his sexuality.

He jabs at romance and the concept of it a lot.

In Robin 2021 he also was very against romance but it was more as a way to sheild himself from his feelings. The only real confirmation that Damian is attracted to woman is Nika. So thank you, Nika. Anything other than that is just comphet to me at least.

This is also why he’s hc as Aro, Ace or Demi because he literally shows no interest in romance and the only times he does it feels like the writer has forgotten his personality.

TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT.

People don’t talk about that time Damian was kind of drugged/mind controlled and sexually assaulted… I’m not sure if people don’t perceive it that way but it seemed like SA to me.

She’s much older than him. He’s a ten year old. The way she’s speaking… her being naked. Damian telling her he doesn’t like it. Him not being in his right frame of mind… it reads this way to me.

Listen, I don’t understand how you can interpret Damian as any sexuality anyway when he’s so young. Only when he’s thirteen/fourteen can it truly be explored.

Although, Damian saying he won’t/can’t feel that way also proves my case.

He’s never really shown a whole bunch of interest in anyone.

—— End of trigger.

Now for the internalized homophobia.

So, the arguement is “he’s too smart not to know about queer culture…” What? What part of not knowing about queer culture makes you stupid?

Damian grew up in a very controlled environment where he was taught how to survive, taught how to lead and how to feel. What part of his schedule would fit in learning about queerness?

Internalized homophobia is in no way a bad thing and personally, as others do as well, see it as another way to queer code because its something a lot of queer people experience. This doesn’t negate the attraction to woman by the way but that doesn’t mean Damian can’t be interpreted as some other type of queer.

There’s also people who like to negate and ignore this part of Damian’s character but… why? These moments are part of important comics with his character. Damian was young and didn’t know much about well, anything. If you’re not personally queer yourself then you have no real incentive to learn about queerness.

There’s nothing really wrong with it. Even if Damian used gay as more of an insult. I doubt he knew what being queer was outside of “When boy likes boy.”

Also, he makes some comments often that come off… not the best.

I still really don’t think its bad and can be interesting if explored.

This also coupled with his culture shock, probably adds to his confusion on certain cultures.

I mean, he doesn’t know all that much. He’s not exactly mister super genius when it comes to real life things as well.

He doesn’t know what laffy taffy is… come on.

All this evidence doesn’t even matter anyway because it’s confirmed that when he does go to pride that knows literally nothing about it and has to be EXPLAINED by a friend about how it came about and how it works but people get so upset about that.

I don’t know what Damian’s sexuality could possibly be but I just don’t personally think he knows either and that has nothing to do with Damijon or any ship, but with canon.

I wanted to go more indepth to this but yeah, internalized homophobia Damian is very close to me.

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Some people need to understand queer coding opens character identities and relationships up to a solid queer interpretation, but that doesn’t equal “this character 100% fits my headcanon and if you disagree you’re a [REDACTED]”

From a literary analysis perspective, as long as your interpretation is reasonably evidence-based it’s valid. As this is fandom, I’d add “sincere” to that since unlike an academic setting we get bad faith actors but that’s it.

So, to have a valid “interpretation” you have to do the work in good faith, and you have to be able point at the text to support your interpretation. If you can’t, or don’t want to, that’s a headcanon, and it’s totally fine.

“But this character is a lesbian she likes a girl!” There’s more to queerness than straight and gay. You could reasonably interpret a girl who likes another girl as plenty of different things:

Lesbian

Bi

Ace/aro and something else

Straight and closeted trans

Straight and lover is closeted trans

And so on.

So when you have an interpretation, someone might tell you, “I think this other thing.” The polite way to handle this if you don’t like it is to say “that’s so cool we can see different things in the ambiguity of art”. Maybe blocking each other if you dislike their interpretation that much.

That’s of course unless you both want a debate to further refine your understanding of the text or just like to argue or whatever. Which is fine! As long as it’s not overly bitter or whatever, it’s fun to discuss.

“So how do I know which interpretation is more canon than another?”

See, that’s the thing, you can’t. Canon is kind of shaky in the first place. The canon is just what’s written that’s recognized as true/correct text, not the way to understand it (and not what the author says is true, some people take Word of God as canon because it allows the following of one concrete interpretation instead of acknowledging multiple, but strictly speaking it is not). You can only interpret the canon.

For example, 4-komas bonuses of serialized manga are usually non-canon because they are jokes and not meant to be taken seriously as a part of the story’s text. That’s what canon actually is for, originally it’s to talk about which books are genuinely part of the Bible and which are to be deemed offshoots that shouldn’t be taken as a Catholic Church-endorsed religious text.

I guess that’s what gets people confused? That there’s no actual truth to imagined worlds, only what happens in the eyes of the beholder when they interact with art?

Because that’s what it means, canon often has nothing to do with who’s “actually a lesbian” short of them saying it directly. An onscreen wedding is said to “make a couple canon” precisely because there’s only so many ways you can interpret a wedding, but all that means is that the text says they’re together at a point in time. One way I can think of having a canon sexuality would be a canonical character sheet, or an omniscient narrator saying so, but everything less is basically an interpretation.

Note that interpretation obviousness can go from “that’s a stretch but I like it”, to “you only need eyes to see it”, they’re both still interpreting. Even a character talking sexuality technically only makes canon that they’re willing to say so, but that’s when critical thinking comes in.

If you hear a character say “I’m a married lesbian” and think “they’re just confused” with no evidence, you look like an idiot. You absolutely can argue which interpretation is more valid or likely by pointing out inconsistencies, stretched evidence, or that one interpretation has a higher volume of evidence/etc. This is how you avoid relativism and “nothing the text says matters” trolls.

Occam’s Razor is another way you might be tempted to try and determine whose thesis is stronger. This technique works through figuring out which interpretation requires the least amount of assumptions (saying something arbitrary is true as a basis) but it doesn’t make anything canon, or more interesting, it’s not a concrete sign of superiority. Just means it has stronger fondations.

However… your interpretation being stronger, more popular, better worded etc. or you thinking someone else’s is immoral, stupid, etc. doesn’t give you license to be a bully, to call people names, to dox them, dig up dirt to make them look worse, and so on and so forth. Thinking you’re right and they’re wrong does not make you above basic respect, politeness, or consequences. You’re not better than everyone else.

As a child, I used to think I was always right because I was logical, and I clearly made logical sense so there was no way for there to be a logical reasoning that arrived at a different conclusion. (Newsflash: Child me was very wrong! Sometimes multiple things can be equally valid! And even if they were not equal, that didn’t give me license to deride people publicly!)

Queer coding is by its nature interpretative. Coding is the author leaving hints about their characters by using a “code”. Some hints, almost everyone in your section of fandom might have the exact same interpretation about. Some hints might be dead obvious. Some hints might leave you overjoyed. Some hints you might ignore because they make you uncomfortable.

Some people will disagree with you about how they interpret the coding, or might even just state that they believe people have a right to interpret the canon however they want, even in ways you don’t like. That is normal. That is not a threat to your interpretation.

Don’t be a petty cunt about it.

Essentially,

[42-clocks]

💚 a zine on aromanticism 💚

^an informational zine on aromanticism I made for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week

feel free to share/print!

(pages and image IDs after the break)

Image ID 1: the front and back cover. The front cover reads, “informational zine — Aromantic: What Does That Mean? — by Peter Z.”

there are two simple arrow shapes between lines of the text pointing in opposite directions.

The middle of the page has a long stripe with the colors of the aromantic flag, which extends to the back cover. the back cover side lists what each of the colors represent: green — aromanticism; light green — the aromantic spectrum; white — platonic and aesthetic attraction; gray — gray-romanticism and demi-romanticism; black — the sexuality spectrum.

The back page reads, “more resources!

TAAAP.org

Aro Spec Week.com

gsrc.princeton.edu (SAM)

aromanticism.org (AUREA)

Elizabeth Brake (aromanticism)

Aggressively Aro Spec Tumblr

Aromantic Guide.com”

End text. Two gray silhouettes of lily flowers act as embellishment. End ID 1.

Image ID 2: pages 1 and 2 of the zine.

Page 1: “Aromantic — or just ‘aro’ for short — refers to someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction to anyone — or experiences it in a different way than others. Alloromantic is the opposite — one who does have romantic attraction.” The text is green and dark teal with light green boarders around the sections.

Page 2: small letters says “this might help to understand” and arrow points to the title “Split Attraction Model” — “a way of understanding attraction by separating it into types: sexual, romantic, platonic, alterous, aesthetic, etc.

“Sexual Orientations: bisexual, heterosexual, asexual. Romantic Orientations: biromantic, heteroromantic, aromantic. — sometimes they match, sometimes they don’t! Words like biromantic and heteroromantic commonly refer to both S. O. and R. O.” End ID 2.

Image ID 3: pages 3 and 4.

Page 3: titled “A-spec Community”. Below is a Venn diagram, the left circle labeled “aro”, the right circle “ace”, the overlap space “aro ace”, this is all within a larger circle labeled “a-spec”.

“Aromantic is not the same as Asexual (little to no Sexual Attraction to anyone at all). The identities and communities are related but distinct”

Page 4: titled “Myths” with dark teal flower silhouettes on either side. Myths include “hates all romance, childish “late bloomer”, not LGBTQ+, unemotional, wants to be alone, can’t be in a relationship, afraid of commitment, can’t also be gay/hetero/etc” End ID 3.

Image ID 4: pages 5 and 6.

Page 5: “Are you aro? some common experiences: made up crushes, flirting doesn’t make sense, hard to identify romantic feelings, dating isn’t a priority, don’t like romance heavy media, dating because you’re “supposed to”, rarely if ever “fall in love”, don’t have celebrity crushes. *these are not exclusive to aros though!”

Page 6: the top of the page has the shape of an umbrella, the text inside reads “the Aromantic umbrella”. The body has four microlabel examples;

“Gray-romantic — romantic attraction rarely or weakly.” Next to it is a small rectangular flag with 5 horizontal stripes: green, gray, white, gray, green.

“Demi-romantic — romantic attraction only after a bond has formed.” Rectangular flag with a wide white stripe, narrow green, and wide gray stripe, and a black triangle on the left side.

“Allo-aro — allosexual and aromantic, no romantic attraction, has sexual attraction.” Rectangular flag with even horizontal stripes: green, light green, white, yellow, dark yellow.

“Aro-ace — aromantic and asexual, no romantic or sexual attraction.” Rectangular flag with even stripes: orange, yellow, white, light blue, dark blue. End ID.

[davekat-sucks]

Okay! Hi! So I have something fun to say! I read the anon talking about Karkat being headcanoned as ace. It made me remember the person who runs this blog saying Dave is uncomfortable with sex. I have a narrative reason as to why Dave would be uncomfortable with sex. Two actually! I decided to reread a certain chapter and I realized something. It’s big! The biggest scoop this fandom has ever had!

I think you guys would love it! The fandom is going to have a rude awakening someday. You guys are going to be SO HAPPY! Let’s watch this thing burn down together and hold hands singing Kumbaya My Lord Kumbaya! Fuck I’ll bring stuff to make s’mores!

This me going off about the homestuck epilogue DaveKat scene again and there is some brutal topics covered in here, you’ve been warned. I imagine Dirk was in control of the some of the narrative when Karkat and Dave had sex. I think Dirk had a lot of control over what happened but not all of it. Free will is still a thing. Here is Dirk saying as much! He says he likes using persuasion!

Did you guys catch a certain part of this when reading it? The non stop animalistic fucking part I mean. That’s weird to say about your family. Moving on.

Dave and Karkat don’t really admit that they like each other romantically… seems like they don’t want to. Right that’s what the fandom must have picked up on. It’s hard for them to date because of the Ace/Aro thing. Or. They DONT. They don’t want to date. They never did. They’re forced to. In meat, it looks like Dirk just wants Dave to top this guy.

Here. Read what Karkat says.

Then Karkat says “I’m glad you’re my friend.” “I don’t have to wonder what is missing!” Karkat doesn’t have to wonder what is missing! We’ve got everything we need here! But wait! they’re not just friends! They are… best… friends? Karkat sounds unsure of what to even say here? He sounds like he doesn’t know where this is going. What he’s even being pushed to say. He said what he meant already. Dave is the one asking him if they are more than friends.

Look. If someone with the powers of a god is compelling them to talk about their feelings and this is the most Karkat can say, it means there is NOTHING ELSE THERE. Dirk is losing his shit here.

Here’s an excuse! “Maybe relationships isn’t a thing Karkat does!” Hold on to that thought Dave! If it makes you feel better about having animalistic sex with a guy! I’ll come up with anything to make you think that.

“HE WANTS IT! YOU WANT IT!” Karkat wants it! You want it too, Dave!

It’s nothing to worry about Dave! You two can do it right here on the couch if you want! Please want that! I mean he loves you so much! See you two are so so so close! He’s going to bust it open for you! Dave he wants it! Dirk wants it. He is excited at the idea of it. Karkat doesn’t seem to care and diving into Karkat’s head to convince him he loves Dave isn’t Dirk’s goal. Karkat falling in love has nothing to do with anything. Why would Dirk even care? Dirk only cares about Dave having sex here. Dirk isn’t really influencing Karkat either, he doesn’t get into his head at all.

I don’t know how much Dave wants Karkat. I’m not able to really discern that. Though I wouldn’t count this as a confession. Dave is drunk! Or at least tipsy. He has someone else chatting in his head. He can even hear hear what Dirk is saying.

Dirk is saying all sorts of things in Dave’s head. Dave is stressed to the point of sweating. What was Dirk going to say before he was cut off? A threat? It sounded like a threat. Is it supposed to be encouraging!? Either is fucked!

The let me do this myself bit reads more like an act of defiance. Let me see if this is right or not, Dirk! Though if you’re under the influence and someone has been fucking with your mind to fill it with what they want for you, do you think that isn’t ABUSE?! Brainwashing? Do you think Dave is being lead to believe Karkat actually wants to date him? I think all of those things are true here.

It all reads like Dave and Karkat are forced together. Like that’s even what the writers are trying to fucking say. It reads like they are spitting on the couple and using them as a narrative tool. Someday in the future they have to address Dirk and Dave’s relationship.

When I read this line it conformed for me something I was certain of before and I’m certain that is what is being said here. I think there is a clear reason as to why it was put into this chapter. What Dirk’s intentions are. Read it and see if you can catch what I’m going to point out.

There it is. This is what the epilogue is going with.

Born again virginity. Dave didn’t have his virginity before he died at 13. Why even bring up a line like that if meant nothing. If was a joke?

Why was Dave willing to pay Dirk respect for killing himself in Candy?

For that matter! Why is Dirk so into Dave topping some guy? Isn’t Dirk a bottom? Why is Dirk so into talking about his son and/or brother having animalistic sex with one of the few male characters left alive? Karkat is someone the fandom would have loved to see Dave end up with since they smiled at each other once in Act 6.

So. Here’s what I want to get at. The to long didn’t read version of what I wrote!

What’s the two narrative reasons Dave doesn’t want to have sex?

1. Dave doesn’t want to have sex with someone if Dirk is just going to come into his head and get off to it.

2. Dave isn’t comfortable with having sex because of unresolved trauma.

What was the scoop? The big scoop that would tear the fans apart?

Karkat and Dave aren’t in love. They never were. Karkat wanted to say he appreciated having someone who put so much faith in him. It meant something to him. He said he feels content with that. He doesn’t have to wonder what is missing.

Karkat is Dave’s best friend. They are close. I love that. I want them to have a normal relationship, but they don’t. And they can’t. Even the running for president plot line was introduced so we could have Dave backing Karkat and giving him support. But that, once again, may have just been the narrative fucking with them, setting them up to have a moment like this. This is the problem with meta fiction. How much of this is the characters? The writers? The gods overseeing them? They have Calliope and Dirk picking at these assassinated characters like vultures. Just like how Calliope had John and Terezi get with each other in his dad’s car. John might have liked her but he was dying in that moment. Narratively, that was setting Terezi up to want to bring him back to life. To think they could be lovers in some way, and maybe they can. I don’t know. How much of that was John being fucked with? This story is a horror story. No one here is happy. Nothing here is good. Nothing is clear.

The one thing I am sure of is that born again virgin line meant something. Dave was holding onto his new founded virginity. Maybe he didn’t even feel comfortable saying he liked men because that is like saying he might have in someway enjoyed what Bro did to him. Maybe he didn’t want to have sex because of a terrible experience he had. Maybe the writers of the new homestuck content will pivot, maybe they will undo all of what is being set up here. But why do that? They like the drama!

I can see them containing with this theme. Dave was molested before homestuck even started. That is what is being said here. Bro molested him. Dirk feels horrible for it. He wants Dave to be the one to decapitate him too, like it’s closure.

The true to long didn’t read is basically this: Dave and Karkat is only canon because it’s forced. The writers are even announcing it! Thanks for the years of us having to listen to people falsely celebrating DaveKat! Now we’re going to just sing our hymns and celebrate their destruction.

That actually makes sense. It is fucked up if all along that Ult Dirk and by extension Hussie, WhatPumpkin, James Roach, HICU, and the fanbase itself, are forcing the two without their consent and they can't escape it.

It was so obvious from the start and yet people accepted it for what it was. This kissing in the laundry scene now gives a different meaning now that these boys did not actually want this but are forced to anyway without their say.

[iwoulddieforienzo]

I do not like Frederick Chase in the slightest, don’t get me wrong, but I do sympathize with him and other Athena mortal parents. I mean, with the other gods, there’s usually some kind of relationship beforehand - even if it’s just a one-night stand, there’s still some kind of situation that could, feasibly, result in a kid. Dropping single parenthood on someone is an absolute dick move, obviously, with little to no support and a child who will likely die before they hit 25 making the whole deal extra rotten, but there is, if nothing else, the knowledge that what you are doing could result in a kid. Like if you had a one night stand with some lady and a kid shows up on your doorstep then you’re at least aware that this was a possible consequence, even if you don’t know about the god thing.

Athena doesn’t do that. Athena doesn’t date or have sex with anyone. She meets a mortal who she likes the brain of and just… makes them a kid?? With supposedly no prior knowledge or consent from the other party. They have no way of knowing that their 3-hour debate with Some Smart Lady will make them a single parent. What’s crazier is that Annabeth says Athena kids are claimed from BIRTH. Which means they’re attacked by monsters from birth.

So like, imagine you’re a college-aged kid and you meet some lady that you enjoy being around and debating with. You have a nice, solid relationship that sort of resembles a couple but is solidly platonic. She helps you get into University and pass your classes. You have never done anything romantic, and she was very clear on her status as ace/aro (not in those exact words). Then she reveals her status as a God, drops a kid on your front door, tells you that she is yours to deal with and she will NOT be taking her back because she has to be raised by her mortal parent, who is you, by the way, congratulations, (don’t ask how she has half of your genetic material despite never having sex with this woman) oh and also monsters will be attacking her (and by extension, you) literally from the moment she opens her eyes. (They are already open, by the way.) Then she dips, never to be seen again, no child support in sight, and now everyone thinks you knocked up some poor woman who couldn’t handle the pressure. You Did Not. Also the kid is smarter than you and you’re like 23. Like Frederick is an absolute DICK, don’t get me wrong, but I do sympathize with him.

Of course, it’s possible that she informs her chosen mortals about her status as a god, as well as the children they will be receiving. But considering Frederick is said to have begged her to take Annabeth back, this implies that she either didn’t tell him about Annabeth, OR she DID tell him about her, he said no, and then she made Annabeth anyway and forced him to take her even though he didn’t want her. She definitely told him about being a god eventually, but we have no way of knowing if she was upfront about it or waited for who knows how long. (Considering her rrverse personality, I’d assume she’d tell him - and by extent, the other mortals - early on, but there really isn’t any way to know)

….yes I know about Darren and Apollo. Who knows how that went down, honestly. I like to think Apollo at least told this guy about the kid beforehand. I’m curious why he did that in the first place, honestly?? What is it about this Specific Guy that made him be like “yeah I need to have a kid with this dude.” Does he do this to all his male lovers?? Was Darren Informed?? Mr Riordan I have Questions

[our-aroace-experience]

My aro-ace experience:

my friend was really sad because the guy he had a crush on for a while turned out to be a bad person but he couldn't stop having feelings for that guy, meanwhile I was trying to comfort him, (telling him that feelings are hard and all that) he then looked at me and said "what do you know about this? You are aroace. You have it easy".

It kind of broke my heart because I'm an aromantic that deeply desires to have some kind of feeling towards someone.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't aroace :(

i’m so sorry to hear that. you could try telling that friend that just because you’re aroace doesn’t mean you can’t want a relationship. i hope this helps at all, and my inbox is always open if you need to vent!

[thedailyplatypics]

Controversial I guess: I think Perry getting canon ace by one of the Co-Creators has somehow singlehandedly destroyed everyone’s idea in this fandom of what exactly an Ace person is. 

Like, yeah, asexual people can still date other people, be attracted to people, be gay, lesbian, pan, etc. There’s also an entire spectrum open to headcanons on what type of asexual Perry even is, asexual, Demi, Aro-ace, or others, but I guess y’all just like talking over queer people or other queer people with 0 research because you don’t like their headcanons?

Plus canon material doesn’t automatically mean headcanons are not allowed.

Headcanon debate in general is so stupid honestly because one of the main reasons for headcanons is so that people from marginalized groups can relate to their favorite characters more and find more comfort in them specifically because they feel underrepresented in media. Don’t act like representation doesn’t matter either. When people constantly act like you’re not normal and all you see are straight characters, it’s nice to have a character you see yourself in and find normalcy in.

Like, no maybe I don’t entirely think Perry is trans personally, but I’m all for the trans Perry headcanon because I’m so happy people find other ways to appreciate my favorite character and find more comfort in him. Why wouldn’t anyone else be happy about that??

[rosypenguins]

Day 30! LGTV Headcanons! (Jomies Edition!)

💛I’m sorry, but I can’t see Jake as anything other than straight. He is after ladies and ladies only. And in all honestly, I feel he’d pretty much know nothing about the LGBT community. (Along with the rest of the Jomies tbh.) Like, he only knows straight, gay and bi. Anything else is completely foreign to him. (I can totally see a conversation between him and Luke regarding Luke’s sexuality. Jake’s like: “So, you’re gay too?” And Luke responds with: “Oh, I’m pan actually.” And Jake just buffers for a moment like: “Pan? Like- like a frying pan? What the hell does that mean? You like pans???” And you can just see Luke’s soul leave his body.) (He’s not trying to be insensitive he genuinely just doesn’t understand this stuff.😭)

🖤Drew’s biromantic. Because no way his feelings for Jake are platonic. I can also see him having crushes on other guys in the past, but he never really registered those as crushes. Just… very close friends. Also, don’t really think he (or any of the Jomies) has a problem with other people being gay. But in Drew’s case, I feel like that’s something he personally doesn’t think he’s allowed to be for whatever reason. Like, he’s so set on the idea that he’s straight he cannot fathom the idea of being anything else. It’s what he has to be, basically. (Internalized homophobia baby! ✨) Oh, and I also like to think Drew’s ace, because… uh, vibes, I guess? I don’t really have an explanation for this, I just think it’s fitting. (And I just want more ace characters in media that still want romantic relationships it makes me feel seen.😭)

❤️Both Liam and Henry are the type of guys to be like: “I’m straight, but- 20 bucks is 20 bucks-” (And even without the incentive of 20 dollars they still do the gayest shit ever so no one really knows what they are. Not even them.) (But I do imagine Liam’s bicurious.)

🩷Zoey’s honestly an enigma to me. Because literally, anything works. Straight? Lesbian? Bi? Aro-ace? All of it makes sense.

💜Lia’s a lesbian. She’s always liked girls but is in complete denial of it. Her almost obsessive crush on Jake was just her trying to convince herself she liked guys. But she doesn’t. It’s always been girls.

🤍Bonus! Daisy’s bi, and Sadie’s a lesbian! (And I also like to think Sadie’s transfem because I saw someone else headcanon it and the idea of that’s been living in my head rent-free since.)

This’ll be the last day of Freakblr month I’ll be doing. I don’t really have any ideas for Day 31 other than “Is Drew a Twink?” so I think I’ll be leaving this off here. This was so much fun to participate in, though! I love rambling about these sillies and seeing other’s thoughts on them too! 10/10 would participate again.