#lex texts

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[thesuperheroesnetwork]

Texts From Superheroes

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[bruciemilf]

Headcanon that, every year on their birthday, Kryptonians get new superpowers.

Clark doesn’t really keep track; That’s Bruce’s job, for the most part. This year? Mediumship.

me·​di·​um·​ship

/the capacity, function, or profession of a spiritualistic medium/

“Communication with spirits,” Bruce has this habit of nicking his thumb with his teeth, pretty, hazel eyes glossy with thought. Clark doesn’t need supervision to see how beautiful he is when his mind’s at work. “Fascinating.”

“Yep,”

Clark watches Thomas Wayne’s ghost give him the glare of the century behind his son’s back.

The skin of his jawline is entirely ripped off, peeled by Joe Chill’s gun, like the news article said. Sincerely, the Wayne glare scares Clark more.

“Fascinating.”

[itsdefinitely]

comfort item

[superbat-love]

Imagine people saying “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Superman?” and Clark nearly has a heart attack. He thinks his days as Clark Kent are numbered because Lex Luthor is standing right there and he wouldn’t put it past the guy to get him fired from his job and make his civilian life miserable. Then Bruce Wayne answers that he gets that all the time and Clark almost spits out his drink.

Luthor is rolling his eyes and wonders why this Daily Planet reporter standing beside them is so excited about the possibility of Bruce being Superman. As if this himbo Brucie is capable of tying his shoelaces together, much less save the people of Metropolis. The man would probably fold faster than a napkin if Luthor did as much as flick him with a plastic spoon.

Clark quickly recovers from his blunder and remarks that it must be annoying to get mistaken for the superhero so often. Bruce tells him that he usually gets called that in the bedroom and asks if Clark wants to confirm it later, Luthor is daydreaming about kryptonite spoons and Clark is rethinking his choice of drink for the night.

[pearlcatcher]

[sassylittlecanary]

Smallville + text posts ➡️ Clex edition

[yourobedientserpent]

My friend @teidar did a thing.

[jammingjaem]

hi if requests are open can i get a yangyang fic/fake texts? you do them so well <3

yangyang as your bf texts.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | kind of? suggestive at the end.

[isogenderskitty]

more of these because they're really fun to make

[mamawasatesttube]

im sleepy so i can't put my finger on the punch line exactly but there is a joke to be made about how fanon batman is actually just canon lex luthor. like think about it:

racist against metas and aliens

really controlling over who can associate with his daughter

not just rich but also famous and very recognizable in pop culture

obsessed with coming up with ways to take superman down, to the point of always carrying kryptonite

... and (probably) more!

[rueisblue]

Lex: son I want you to come to work at Lex corp with me.

Kon, staring behind Lex to Bart who has a comically large fly swatter that he’s reeling back like a baseball bat: Let’s not do that.

[thesuperheroesnetwork]

Texts From Superheroes

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[kryptonbabe]

Best of Blue Ribbon Digest 36, 1983

Some Kryptonites not on the handbook:

Platinum Kryptonite ➝‬ Gives Kryptonian super-powers to humans permanently (Batman Secret Files #1, 2018)

Black Kryptonite ➝‬ Strange and unpredictable effects on Kryptonians (Smallville series, S4E1 Crusade, 2004)

Pink Kryptonite ➝‬ Sexual / gender bender (Supergirl Vol. 4 #79, 2003)

Purple Kryptonite ➝‬ Began as a coloring error / Hypnotic effect, it can control the minds of anyone that is near it (Adventure Comics #171, 1951)

Kryptonite-X (Kryptisium) ➝‬ Not lethal, it restored Superman's powers, but caused him to absorb solar energy too rapidly making he lose control of his powers (The Adventures of Superman #511, 1994)

Slow Kryptonite ➝‬ It affects humans the same way Green Kryptonite affects Kryptonians (Batman Secret Files #1, 2018)

Magno-Kryptonite ➝‬ Tracks objects from Krypton including Kryptonite (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #92, 1966)

Anti-Kryptonite / Fool's Kryptonite ➝‬ Pre-crisis: Looks like Green Kryptonite, but It's harmful to humans and is harmless to Kryptonians / In Post-crisis: it is the power source for one version of Ultraman, Superman's evil counterpart from an antimatter universe (Action Comics #252, 1959)

X-Kryptonite ➝‬ Granted Streaky the Supercat his superpowers (Action Comics #261, 1960)

Red-Green Kryptonite ➝‬ A synthetic Kryptonite created by Brainiac to mutate Superman, it made him grow a third eye on the back of his head (Action Comics #275, 1961)

Krypton Steel ➝‬ A harmless form of Kryptonite that only Superman could break (Super Friends, S3E30 Rest in Peace, 1978)

Opal Kryptonite ➝‬ Synthesized on Earth 2 this variant can apparently drive Kryptonians temporarily insane (Earth 2 #0, 2012)

Krimson Kryptonite ➝‬ Artificial construct of Mr. Mxyzptlk that eliminated Superman's powers temporarily (Superman Vol. 2 #49, 1990)

Orange Kryptonite ➝‬ Provides super-abilities to any animal that comes into contact with it for one day (Krypto the Superdog #4, 2007)

Periwinkle Kryptonite ➝‬ It turns the victim's skin and clothing periwinkle and causes them to completely lose their inhibitions (Superman Family Adventures #9, 2013)

Amber Kryptonite ➝‬ It removes Superman's powers and grant them to someone else (Dark Nights: Death Metal The Multiverse Who Laughs #1, 2021)

Synthetic Kryptonite ➝ Various effects / In Superman III (1980)‬  it caused Superman's morality to change turning him into an evil and destructive being (Multiple origins)

Bizarro Kryptonites:

Bizarro White Kryptonite ➝‬ It heals Bizarro, curing his instability (Superboy, S2E7 The Battle With Bizarro, 1989)

Bizarro Red Kryptonite ➝‬ Affects humans the same way Red Kryptonite affects Kryptonians (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #80, 1964)

False Kryptonites:

Yellow Kryptonite ➝‬ Began as a hoax by Lex Luthor / Unknown effects (Action Comics #277, 1961)

Silver Kryptonite ➝‬ Began as a hoax by Jimmy Olsen / It causes hallucinations on Kryptonians and possess mystical properties (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #70 1963)

Kryptonite Plus / Ultra-Kryptonite ➝‬ fake Kryptonite planted by aliens on the moon (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #126, 1970)

Fake Kryptonite ➝‬ Superboy's friends are selling these crystals labeled as "fake Kryptonite" to raise money for charity (Superboy, S2E17 Brimstone, 1990)

Purple Spotted Kryptonite ➝‬ Exclusive to the Krypto the Superdog cartoon, it made Krypto chase his own tail (Krypto the Superdog, S1E34 Streaky's Supercat Tale, 2005)

Blood Kryptonite ➝‬ Fake Kryptonite magically manipulated by Felix Faust to drain energy from people (52 #13, 2006)

[itsdefinitely]

Why hello there weary traveller, If you're still taking requests, Lex Foster would be so cool- I love your work it's all absolutely edible.

what being a single mother does to a woman

[superbat-love]

Lex contemplates how he, like many others, is drawn to Bruce’s animal magnetism despite the man’s efforts to make Lex dislike him. He knows how passionate Bruce truly is behind the mask.

Then we’re shown Superman when he’s talking about Bruce’s desire.

And Lex wonders if he could fill Bruce’s hole.