#literally the only thing i can think of is around the same time this started is the same time i started going off one of my meds

[nightwolf14292]

What I think the Batfam's love languages would be:

This is not necessarily canon, you can take this as the love languages of my personal versions of the characters if ya want-

Bruce Wayne -

How does he show his love?: I think that if you two were casually going out, seeing each other on occasion for a date but not actually officially dating or anything, he would show his love through giving gifts. I mean, it's the billionaire thing to do—just dump a bunch of money on you and let you buy stuff. Then when you started officially dating he would continue to give you gifts, but I also think he would use acts of service.. Whether that be dressing up as Batman and beating up someone who threatened you, or being Bruce Wayne and making your boss give you a promotion. Then if your relationship got extra serious, like you were moving into Wayne Manor serious, I think he would finally start to warm up to physical touch and would slowly get more touchy with you over time.

What type of love does he respond best to?: Quality time. Just having you around while he's doing mundane things, you sitting with him in the Batcave while he's working a case, going grocery shopping together. Depending on his mood he'll also respond well to words of affirmation, but if you catch him in the wrong mood he'll get annoyed and upset by them because he'll feel patronized.

Dick Grayson -

How does he show his love?: No matter what stage of the relationship, his biggest love language is always going to be acts of service. He's a people pleaser at heart, he loves doing things for others even if it's detrimental to him. If the two of you were casually going out I think that he'd use a lot of words of affirmation on you, just being really sweet to you in general. When you started officially dating he'd make an effort to spend as much quality time with you as possible and get a little more touchy, starting to get used to hugs, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, etc. If you got extra serious he'd become much more comfortable with physical touch, and start to lay more heavily into his acts of service.

What type of love does he respond best to?: Words of affirmation—but only if you do it right. Dick, being the people pleaser that he is, lives for praise and being told that he's helpful and good. Words of affirmation in the sense of 'I'm proud of you', or 'You did great out there tonight,' work wonders for him. However, words of affirmation in the form of compliments about his physical appearance have an adverse affect if you're still early on in the relationship. After all, Dick gets his looks complimented a lot and most of the time it makes him uncomfortable. He'll feel like you're only looking at his body and not who he is as a person. However, he's more accepting to physical compliments when you get into a more serious relationship.

Jason Todd -

How does he show his love?: Well to be honest if you're casually going out, he.. Doesn't- I mean that early on, he has no real reason to believe that he should. After all, he's never had any experience with this sort of thing, and why would you ever want to date a literal crime boss/murderer? He thinks that you're totally a spy and that you're going to betray him or something. If you manage to progress to the officially dating stage, he'll start to open up just a tiny bit. He'll become a little more protective of you, making sure his goons won't attack you if you're out in Gotham late and 'taking care of' anyone who gives you trouble. He might get you a gift here and there, pay for dinner, but he'll still stay somewhat distant. And if you eventually manage to get to the serious stage, he will become incredibly attached, lots of quality time, lots of gifts, lots of acts of service, and SO much praise over any little thing you do.

What type of love does he respond best to?: Physical touch, but only if it's serious. To get through the first part of your relationship you pretty much just have to stick around and not be an ass, because he'll be absolutely flabbergasted that you want anything to do with him, but he'll eventually get used to it and become attached because you're the only person(that isn't the Batfam) who's been with him this long. But if it gets serious, he'll love physical touch. Hugs, cuddles, sleeping in the same bed, putting an arm around your shoulder, massaging your thighs.. Just touching you whenever he can.

Tim Drake -

How does he he show his love?: Quality time, and by quality time, I mean he stalks you. You won't know it, at least not until much later into the relationship, but if he actually likes you he'll stalk you from the beginning. Stalking your social medias, tracking your phone's location, watching you in the Batcave on the Gotham security footage. Maybe hacking into your security cams and watching you in your house/apartment if he's particularly lonely. Aside from that, early on he'll pay for dinner, buy you flowers, maybe get you some little trinkets that he finds cool.. As you start dating he'll start to help you with school/work, putting his smarts and skills to the test to help you out with things. He always seems to know when you need help, somehow? (It's the stalking). When you get serious he'll warm up to you fully and start just being his weird lil' self, no longer masking his odd behavior around you.

What type of love does he respond best to?: Physical touch(but usually only when he's sleepy), and words of affirmation. He doesn't mind physical touch usually, but it won't always do much for him except for when he's feeling sleep deprived, in which case he craves your warmth and touch. He especially needs the words of affirmation, because he's sort of lacking that in his life right now (Though, his family[-Damian lol] are trying hard to make up for that, they're working on it), and it makes him feel useful and wanted. And like his own person for once.

Damian Wayne -

How does he show his love?: In the first two stages of the relationship he won't really show that he cares, he might be a bit less aggressive to you then everyone else, but he's still not exactly the nicest. However, if you manage to get to a serious relationship, you'll have proved that you're actually there for him, and you'll notice a more dramatic change. He'll become much more open, start smiling more often, get a little more touchy, shower you with beautiful art he painted of you.. You were the one who helped him learn to be less violent, so by extension he's willing to rely on you.

What type of love does he respond best to?: Words of affirmation, because he has an ego that needs to be stroked. Even when you get serious and he becomes more open, Damian is still at his core a pretty narcissistic and arrogant guy, and he still acts on impulse thinking that he's better and smarter then any of his enemies. So, if you want him to be all flattered.. Just compliment his fighting skills.. Or, y'know, tell him how much better then Tim he is.

Y'all can add the others if you want, I don't know enough about the other characters to do them yet :]

[octoberautumnbox]

Yuri is lucky that she could go to Hyewon's place whenever she needs to washup lol. Can't imagine Yuri's face when she discovered the roach in her bathroom 🤣🙈

What if Yuri goes over to Hyewon's place...

And Hyewon still insists on giving you head when Yuri is only a short distance away in the shower 😳

"Hyewon... Ah...Now's not the best time, Yuri will hear us! She could be coming out anytime soon!"

"So what? Who said the bathroom is the only thing I'm sharing with Yuri today 😉"

Yuri's look of hunger when she sees the moment you're cumming uncontrollably inside Hyewon's throat. Your eyes watery and Hyewon has her whole face pressed against your crotch while your body spasms from the stimulation 🙊

Even though I'm gonna embarrass myself horribly, I don't think I could turn down Hyewon's offer 🤤

a/n: thanks for the ask frisky! to this day it's still wild to me how they did a post-bath/shower scene in Yuri's photobook but im literally the last one on this planet to complain 😋

~~~

"Aish, you two," Yuri says while running her fingers through her hair. "You couldn't wait for me?" She takes a seat next to you and leans her head on your shoulder, staring lazily at your cock.

"You were taking forever. He was getting bored." Hyewon licks her lips as she says it, savoring the taste of your cum. She makes a show of it by dragging her tongue all along her plump lips, and the blatant attempt to try and get you hard again is regrettably working.

Your reply comes in the midst of ragged breaths: "Don't... pin this all on me. I wanted to... wait for everyone to... be ready."

The older girl takes your hand and starts sucking your index finger, giving it the same love she gave your cock just moments ago. The younger, on the other hand, giggles at her valiant efforts to get you going again and decides to help her out.

Yuri takes your other hand and places it over her breasts, only a thin fabric in between her chest and your fingertips. Even then, you can feel her soft and perky tits through her top, and the playful pinches you deliver on her nipples cause them to stiffen in pleasure. You watch as they start to poke against the fabric, and she catches you ogling her. With a smirk, she let's out a cute moan to signal her pleasure.

Hyewon, not wanting to be one-upped, takes her place on your other side. She pulls her top off, revealing in tantalizing slowness of the skin of her tummy and chest. Once it's all off, she takes the same position as Yuri and makes you cup her boobs too. Her nipples stiffen in the same way, and her moans at how you play with her body spur all three of you on.

With a knowing look shot at each other, the girls decide wordlessly on a two-pronged attack. Hyewon's delicate fingers wrap around your cock and give long, slow strokes, while she goes in and takes your lips with hers. At the same time, Yuri leans down and starts licking and kissing the tip of your dick, making sure to leave her spit and help her unnie out.

Your tongue and Hyewon's swirl around each other, forcing more moans out of her, while Yuri's soft lips place kisses on your head and shaft wherever she can reach. She takes your cock in her mouth as best she can, trying her hardest to share with her unnie's hand instead of taking you all the way to the back of her throat for herself.

You wonder for a moment how you got two of the most beautiful idols on the planet this needy for you. How on earth did you get to the point where they're so willing to share you between themselves, allowing you to grope their bodies and suck your cock as if they were your own property to do what you please with?

But that doesn't matter now. You find both Hyewon and Yuri with two of their own fingers inside their cunts, rubbing their walls at the pace you set as you play with their boobs. Hyewon grows careless with her kiss, growing sloppier by the minute, not caring how much of your shared saliva falls out of your mouths. Yuri's moans deliver just the right vibrations to your cock growing needier with each lick of your slit. She frantically tries even harder to take more of you into her mouth, her common sense slipping away from her.

You try to warn Yuri that you're close, but Hyewon never lets up. Each time you try and pull away, all she does is pull you back and make you squeeze her soft tits harder. You do the same with Yuri, pinching her nipples harder and groping her more roughly, and it drives her wild. You're not sure if it delivers the message you wanted it to, but you slowly forget as your orgasm arrives.

Hyewon feels the way your cock throbs and immediately lets go, only to force Yuri down onto your crotch. Yuri welcomes it and takes you all the way, licking your shaft as much as she can, savoring your taste and the hard work she put into this load she's about to take. You don't disappoint, and suddenly her mouth is flooded with your thick and warm cum. She tries taking all of it in, but inevitably she lets a few drops fall out with the sheer amount of it. Still, her tongue works overtime to extract every single drop you can give her, and each thrust into her mouth-pussy sends away another thought in her head to be replaced her desire for you and you alone.

Two orgasms so far into the night, and they haven't even started getting serious. You start to get nervous, but they reassure you that everything from here on out is all just mindless fun.

"Don't worry, oppa," Yuri sighs dreamily, obviously still in the ecstasy of getting her face fucked, "we're gonna have so much fun."

"Yeah, just relax and fuck us like you always wanted to." Hyewon punctuates each word with a kiss on your neck. "I promise we'll play nice, unless you want us not to."

~~~

a/n: holy shit wait a minute is this my first threesome fic??

[sailor-aviator]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

[alcalystrasz]

Stranger Things 5 spoilers:

We're discussing theories.

So we knew that the first episode was called "The Crawl" because The Duffers posted a tweet with the script title. However, for the other ones... that's crazy.

So remember there are 8 episodes in total, and we possibly only have 6 of their titles. Let's try to understand them together.

EP1 - So, for The Crawl I personally don't have theories for it. I just thought maybe it was going to be about escaping from someplace, or to get to a place.

EP2 - The Episode 2 is the most intriguing, "The Vanishing of ***** Wheeler." It reminds me a lot of the first episode of season 1: "The Vanishing of Will Byers" so it may have a sort of link. So we know it's a Wheeler, but who. If we count the starts there are 5 of them, maybe it's a random number or maybe they did this on purpose so we can know the number of letters in the name. So, Karen has five letters, Holly has five letters too, Nancy also and Mike and Ted are excluded. So only the women could vanish. Between these 3 characters, we know one has been recast: Holly. So maybe, Holly will be the one to disappear, because in a previous spoiler/leak it has been said that Holly was going to be a target of Vecna, so far we thought it was fake but it could turn out to be true actually. So if it's indeed Holly who disappears, and it could make sense because Will vanished when he was 11 and she's going to be around 8, I have a question, will she also get some sort of powers just like Will in the end when we find her?

And now that I think about it, maybe "The Crawl" is Holly's to try to escape from Vecna but she ends up in the Upside Down anyway?

I think Holly is the most possible Wheeler to vanish. And it has been said many times that Holly can be linked to Vecna in some ways. Lots of fans said that Karen could be Henry's sister and Holly is his nephew. Maybe? He would kidnap her to put pressure on Karen, because we know the parents and especially Karen will play a bigger role this season...

EP3 - "The Turbow Trap" is probably something against Vecna, I don't have anything, except maybe it could be made by Dustin because he's a genius at making stuff (He made Cerebro).

EP4 - "Sorcerer." I don't know why but I feel like it's either Vecna, because he's a sort of sorcerer, or maybe it's Will. Remember that in DnD, Will plays a sort of wizard/cleric. I don't know what could happen but... maybe it's also something else. It is probably in this episode that Holly comes back because they could all try to confront this Sorcerer, so Vecna.

EP5 - "Shock Jock" makes me think of "Trick or Treat, freak" an episode of season 2. The episode's name is kinda similar, I don't know how to explain that. But it's a goofy title to something dramatic like in the Halloween one. Jock could be Joyce. It's a shock to Joyce? Maybe something could happen to Will?

EP6 - This episode has probably the weirdest title of them all. "Escape from Camazotz." So... Camazotz is a Bat, more precisely a God who's form is a bat. He's a creature with the head of a bat and the body of a human, really weird to put this in the show. It's from the religion of the Maya, he's associated to night, death and sacrifice. But that's in real life. In DnD, Camazotz is the "Demon Lord of Bats and Fire." He literally likes hunting the mortals in the darkness. Just like Vecna. And in the Upside Down we saw there are in fact Bats, demobats, but is Vecna controlling them? He can't be both Vecna and Camazotz at the same time. Maybe Vecna is just a puppet of this unknown dimension?

The second edition of DnD was introduced in 1974, and Vecna was introduced in this edition. Which explains why they used this name for Henry. But Camazotz wasn't, it's probably in the 3rd or 4th edition.

Who are we gonna see? Camazotz, from the Maya or Camazotz from DnD?

I have some theories.

The first one is, somebody's going to sacrifice themselves to save everyone else. As I said in my previous theories, I had the idea of Robin and/or Jonathan that sacrifices themselves. In this context, I don't think Robin's sacrifice would happen for this sort of thing. However Jonathan's could be. It could be a big twist for Will because I have this idea where he's going to be either stuck, or he's going to stay in the Upside Down in some ways, along with Mike. So this could be one of their conversations later, it could ruin Will so Mike would be there to comfort him.

The second one is, someone's going to get killed by Camazotz, which explains the word "escape" in the title. Maybe Robin, Jonathan, Max (if she isn't already dead) or one parent like Karen or Ted.

The actor of Ted answered a question in an interview. Someone asked something about him not being mentioned by Vecna when he showed Nancy that her whole family is going to die, and the actor simply answered: "Oh. You noticed?" With a wink.

So maybe Ted knows about Karen's link to Vecna. Maybe it isn't their story isn't like what Nancy said to Jonathan in season 1. The whole "Perfect" family is probably a lie.

This could actually explain why Vecna showed what's gonna happen to the Wheeler family, to Nancy. Because she's the one who got this "Perfect family" idea. We never saw Mike talk about it to anyone. So.... this is all a little blurry...

But I think, in this episode, there has to be 1 death. Most likely Robin, because she was only introduced in season 3 and she's a recent character, compared to the other ones who were here since season 1.

I have this theory, what if the end of ST5 is the beginning of ST1. What I mean is that, we go back to the beginning like how it was before everything happened even though it actually happened. It's like, everything ended and now we're back to how it was. So it means, only the 4 boys, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Hopper and Joyce. Eleven wouldn't be, because she's one of the reasons it all started, and it would be such a good ending if she dies saving Hawkins. Barb doesn't count cause she'd dead. And every characters introduced later died so far: Billy, Max (half dead), Bob... Only Murray and Robin are left. Murray will def die that's for sure and Robin, for me, has to die too.

Now, I want to talk about BYLER.

Remember the episode 3 of season 3, with Will and Mike's fight under the rain? Guess who it was directed by:

Shawn Levy.

And who's going to direct episode 6 of ST5?

Shawn Levy.

He didn't only direct that, but he also directed the sauna episode. And what happens in the sauna episode?

Will: I can feel him....

Mike, looking at Will's lips: Max get away from the door...

So, if Shawn Levy direct the episode 6, we'll get byler. And was I thinking? Byler kiss episode 6, that was my theory. With 3 or 4 intimate moments between them before episode 6 and the kiss during this episode.

There is one director I didn't talk about, it's Frank Darabont. He's a director who made a lot of horror movies, and we know how Stanger Things can be disgusting sometimes. Right?

So if Frank directs 3 episodes, they're going to be very scary or atleast be special in a disgusting way, maybe? But it's definitely going to be horror for these episodes.

I think he'll probably direct episode 7, that'd make sense, maybe 8 too.

Anyway, that was it. Tell me what you guys think about these two spoilers/leaks. I hope the directing one is true. And the titles are still possibly to change in the future, but the episode 2 really caught me off guard. I bet it's gonna be Holly.

And by the way, I hope they can bring back Sarah, Hopper's daughter. The fact that her and Holly look alike, isn't a coincidence for me. Maybe Sarah is more important than we think she is.

[ninjakk]

Hey!!

I recently saw someone claim that Wei Wuxian was starved of conversation on his journey to Yiling with Lan Wangji and Wen Ning and so board he needed to chat to people before they ascend the mountain. I hadn't really noticed this until it was mentioned. What do you think of that scene?

I love your meta and fics btw. You use your understanding of the novel in your writing and it's just *chef's kiss*

Hi anon 👋🏻

Personally, I've not seen any comments regarding the above - but we can certainly look at the text in question 😊

Let's take a look at the scene in question:

Several days later, they arrived in Yiling.

The Burial Mounds were less than five kilometers ahead of this small town. Although they didn’t know exactly what awaited them there, Wei Wuxian had a feeling it wasn’t anything good. But Lan Wangji was right by his side, his gait steady, his gaze cool. Wei Wuxian had never been one with any sense of crisis to begin with, and with the way Lan Wangji looked, he was even less likely to get nervous at all.

Passing through the small town of Yiling, he was awash in the sounds of the local accent. It was invigorating and incomparably endearing. While he wasn’t planning on buying anything, he couldn’t help but strike up conversations in the local dialect with the street vendors. Only after he’d had his fill of socializing did he get down to business.

“Hanguang-jun, you remember this town, right?”

7S translation

So the scene opens with WWX gushing over how safe and happy he feels around LWJ. He's just so thankful to have someone by his side, someone he can fully depend on and is there for him, should he need it. This very much echoes his thoughts from when they began their descent from the Cloud Recesses, at the start of their journey here. For someone nearing the place he met such a gruesome end at previously, he seems incredibly content and calm - all thanks to LWJ. So straight away, we are reminded of how WWX feels around the other man. It's there for a reason, to set the scene. WWX is relaxed and enjoying himself because he's with LWJ.

They have just arrived in a city he is very familiar with. It's the place he both lived as an orphan and frequented as a man while residing at the burial mounds. He is surrounded by the accent of his "home" for the first time in over 13 years and it's making him feel sentimental. I also think it's a great parallel between when WWX finally visits Lotus Pier in the coming chapters and how desolate and subdued the place has become since JC became sect leader.

I think the above reaction is very normal considering the emotional impact it obviously had on him. WWX has already stated on numerous occasions that LWJ makes him happy and he enjoys his company, but he's also very sociable and likes to look around markets and chat with vendors - there's even a scene in the novel which states as such and many other examples. Although WWX is running around chatting and exploring the stalls, LWJ is still by his side. Doing so does not subtract from his obvious enjoyment of having LWJ's unwavering presence.

We see more than enough evidence that WWX happily chats to LWJ and that he, in turn, even responds and asks questions also. There seems to be this mind-boggling misconception that LWJ literally doesn't speak, and if he does he's like some caveman that can't communicate effectively, when it's the exact opposite. LWJ talks when necessary and is very succinct with his words - he's a true gentleman of their time. Of course, in comparison to WWX, he's much less chatty - but when he does talk it's sincere and relevant. WWX loves this about him! He's also an incredible listener and doesn't miss a single thing WWX says, which WWX also appreciates! Hardly anyone listens to all his ramblings and holds them all so dearly!

It's funny, because although WWX chats to anyone and everyone, it's obvious he enjoys conversing with LWJ the most. He treasures the fact they are on the same wavelength and understand each other implicitly 🥰

Aww! Thank you so much anon! I'm glad you are enjoying my meta and fics ❤️

I hope I managed to answer your question! Have a lovely day 😘

[tirralirralirra]

something I love about having read/watched frieren and dungeon meshi concurrently is getting to see that, despite their similar broad genres (fantasy, DND-esque settings, failure op elf girls /lh), they are two very distinct stories that ultimately achieve the same* thematic goal through different narrative means.

like you have frieren's contemplative, almost slice-of-life style storytelling that focuses on how the connections between people make an impact, and how it's beautiful to cherish the memories of those we love, even the small ones (especially the small ones), and that being alive is so, so beautiful because of those things. Then juxtaposing this with the overall narrative of a literal journey to a land beyond in order to meet with the dead, while not losing focus on those that are alive. Frieren as a story takes time to explore the small things that make life beautiful (fields of flowers, the beauty and not the power of magic, stargazing and sunsets with your friends).

and then you have dunmeshi's tight narrative arcs that are built around urgency (saving falin, first from digestion, then from...chimera-ization), but also continually return to the same concept as a core tenet to both the literal narrative structure around meals and the overall story: to eat is a privilege of the living. That there is joy to be found in eating because it means you are alive, that you survived. That taking time to take care of yourself is honoring your life. That death is a part of life through the acts of killing monsters to eat, and that the dungeon's condition where a soul remains tethered to the body is unnatural.

For that last bit, I love how we're just introduced to the concept in the beginning as a bit of world building, something you might just take at face value of, "oh, I guess this is how this works in this story", and over the course of the story the characters start to interrogate that reality, culminating in Marcille's realization at the end that they took death for granted because of the dungeon's condition:

[ID: Manga panel of Marcille looking down in thought and saying "Look, this might sound a little weird, but...I think the entire point of this journey we went on....was learning how to accept death.]

(Panel is from the ehscans version, will update with official eng when the final volume releases)

I also love that the story takes the time to say, look, you can be in a hurry, but you still need to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, What will you achieve in the service of yourself or others if you don't take care of the most basic qualities to survive first? The most recent episode is a good example of that with the focus on shuro vs. laios, and then there's this reinforcement of the idea by the end:

[ID: Dungeon meshi manga page showing Laios, Chilchuck, and Senshi shouting "A balanced diet!!" "R-regulating our daily rhythms!!" "And moderate exercise!!" respectively, followed by the three in various poses in front of the word "VICTORY" and Laios saying "If we watch these three points...we'll naturally work our way to strong bodies!!"]

Anyways this is all very disorganized and I have other things I need to do and I could write a more cohesive, actually organized thought piece on all of this with like, coherent points, but I don't really like to delve into literary analysis on my fandom account. it just lives in my head, rent free. thank you for coming to my ted talk tumblr. don't expect to see more of this, lol.

*I say same goal, which is not to say the only goal. stories can have more than one theme, it's ok if you disagree with me on this, but please bear in mind that I'm speaking very, very broadly.

[tokyo-debunkers-headcanons]

Hello! omg i'm glad there's already someone writing for Tokyo Debunker 🥹🤲🏻💕 thank you very much omg!

also, can i please ask hcs about what's it like to date jabberwock ghouls? 👉🏻👈🏻

Wooo finally! Something for these three! Thank you for sending in a request!

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 3! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

HARU SAGARA

If you ask me, date night is literally just MC joining him on a tour of the safari park. And sometimes its taking care of the anomalous animals together. What could be more romantic than cleaning animal cages together!

He's a little bit of an airhead and I don't necessarily think he's the brightest, but he's kind of like Mammon from Obey Me I think. If it has to do with money, he's suddenly a math GENIUS. So he knows where to get the best deals on things, ie gifts for his partner.

MC is the ONLY ONE that Peakaboo will cuddle with and it melts Haru's heart every single time. He has so many pictures of them cuddling and its his lock and home screen picture.

I hope MC is okay with having a "where's my kiddo" tracker on them. He just gets really worried about them and he wants to know they're okay.

TOWA OTONASHI

Towa is an interesting case in more ways than one. He is very affectionate with his partner but there's a part of him that doesn't know if it'll last. Not because he doesn't like/love MC, no not at all. But things in his life have skewed his perception of love so he's always worried something will break them up.

He will keep calling them his dandelion and every time he finds one he will either feed it to them or he will have them hold it so that he can eat it. Very romantic.

Whenever MC is around its always sunny and happy. If they're having fun but MC has to leave it WILL start to rain and finally if MC is hurt or someone makes them cry.....expect a full on thunderstorm.

Towa dates could literally be anything: cuddling on his favorite hill, making lunch, playing with animals, etc. He just loves spending time with them.

He is their new ride or die. He will do almost ANYTHING to make sure his dandelion is safe and happy. He just loves them SO SO SOOOO much!

REN SHIRANAMI

Ren gives me STRONG germaphobe vibes. So it might take some time and some convincing to hold their hand and to cuddle. He eventually grows to enjoy it though.

Date nights consist of the both of them doing your own thing in the same room, gaming together, or making fun of bad horror movies together.

If MC isn't a gamer he will do his DAMNEST to try and get them onto it. It might take some time for him to join a guild with them (he can't just nerf his rank for them sorry) and I mean like MMORPGS, FPS games, etc.

If they are a gamer he will be VERY competitive with them and challenge them to games whenever he gets the chance.

He'd never admit it but he likes it when they visit him at work at the diner. It makes his shifts a little more bearable. So it becomes their thing. They visit him and work and hang out.

[lowkeyrobin]

Can u do like general dating bill kaulitz headcannons I swear I only ever see NSFW

yeah of course!!! ; and dw I feel the same way 😭 I beg of fandoms in general to at least just use the smut tag properly that way ppl can filter it / just tag smut instead of ___ smut lmaoo ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!!

BILL KAULITZ ; dating shenanigans

summary ; dating stuff with Bill!

warnings ; language

word count ; 430

masterlist

matching piercings are a must I'm afraid

you share clothes religiously, especially if you have opposite clothing aesthetics, it just be that way

lots of matching jewelry too, if not, then bracelets at least

belts are just a universally traded item for you two idk

he loves just getting to know you more each and every day, like the music you listen to, he'll participate in your hobbies with you, you'll go shopping together etc etc

he always brings you along for shopping trips / sprees, he needs to make sure he looks hot 😔🙏

lovesss taking pictures with you 🫶

you 100% have matching tattoos (took like three or four years to get them though, obviously)

he does the hugging you from behind and stuffing his hands in your pockets thing 🤞

you met at an instrument store/workshop whatever you call it

tom needed one of his guitars re-stringed and he came along

you were restocking stuff around the shop and his eyes landed on you

BAM

instantly fell in love. you're literally like the love at first sight / friends to lovers dynamic

tom obviously caught on and gave his brother the balls to go talk to you

he doesn't even know why he's nervous, probably because he doesn't know how to start conversation, but he decided to compliment your hair

most the weird parasocial fangirls aren't your biggest fan but the nice ones adore you

you never even really went 100% public, you were at most just hanging out in public, everything else stayed private for a multitude of reasons (understandable)

tom is literally your biggest shipper

georg and gustav are like your nephews 💀

got a whole family out of one dude fr

you confessed first

he didn't think you'd like him back so he gave up on his crush on you

like sir stuffing a crush away and continuing to basically love that person isn't gonna help

you got him some flowers and got him a signed cd from one of his idols and asked him out

literally freaked out 😭

"do you wanna go out sometime?"

"YES! YES! OH MY GOSH YES"

finally, songs that would kinda summarize your relationship!

love on the brain ; rihanna

give ; sleep token

take me back to eden ; sleep token

the summoning ; sleep token

every time you leave ; i prevail & delaney jane

him ; tokio hotel

angel eyes ; new years day & chris motionless

1000 years ; bush & amy lee

alkaline ; sleep token

as young as we are ; tokio hotel

love who loves you back ; tokio hotel

[tgmsunmontue]

Caring, Keeping and Collecting Transformers - A Guide 2/?

Maverick is unknowingly surrounded by Transformers. He knows something is up though. Just not quite what it is exactly.

Bradley and Jake, having never met, are embarking on their own journeys and will have to learn to deal with the fact that they've both been adopted by Transformers.

Despite having years more experience, Maverick is no help at all.

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

                Bradley knows his car isn’t normal.

                The fact that he has never once had to buy gas is the biggest red flag if he ever saw one, except it’s not really red, because his car never stops working. Only works for him in fact, which he had thought was a joke that Maverick had started jokingly when he was younger. Except his car refuses to start for anyone else. No one can borrow it. He’s tried all of one time, handing the keys to one of his college friends when they’d asked if they could borrow his truck to move. He hadn’t thought twice about saying yes. And then they’d come back over an hour later saying it just wouldn’t start.

                So now everyone thinks his car is either cursed or possessed, in a joking way, the same way Maverick had, except Maverick had sometimes eyed it like he believed something else. And as much as he hates Maverick, he also doesn’t think he’d have let Bradley get into something that could potentially hurt him. Had seemed glad that it had started for Bradley, and Bradley alone. He hadn’t thought the car was maybe sentient or something until he’d lost the keys and thought he’d… beg.

                “Will you start for me buddy? I can’t find my keys and I really need to get across town to my classes…”

                He knows that later he’s going to think he imagined the wave of shuddering his car gave, like it was shrugging its shoulders or something. Except of course his car doesn’t have fucking shoulders, but it still starts and the radio flares to life and he doesn’t recognize the song playing at all, but he listens anyway… It's things I do for you, In return do the same for me. Okay. He doesn’t know what the hell that means, unless he’s meant to take the things I do for you literally.

                “I’ll give you a really good wash and polish okay? Oil wherever you want…” Bradley says, and he feels a little stupid, talking to his car, rubbing a hand along the dash, but his car just started because he asked it to so he’s past the point of thinking himself crazy. God he wishes he could talk to Maverick about this.

…            …            …

                When Jake’s accepted into USNA his family are all proud of him, then he gets into flight school, his dream of becoming an aviator one step closer. He has his degree in mechanical engineering and he knows better now. Knows more now, about how things are meant to fit together. How things work. This plane he’s been working on, playing with, since he was a kid doesn’t fit any of the stuff he’s learnt and he wonders if he simply fucked it up that badly as a teenager trying to do it up.

                He goes on a bit of a fact-finding mission. Talks to his uncle, finds out the original body came from a fair distance away, up past the Arctic circle in Canada. The fact his uncle had it transported all the way down to Texas is impressive, but his uncle is a truck driver and has travelled the breadth of the continent. He runs his hands over the body skeleton, knows he’s imagining the humming vibration beneath his fingers even if he wishes it were true. He’s been gone for years, away at USNA, and then flight school. While he’s been gone more bits of scrap have accumulated beside it, and no one knows when or how it got there. He hasn’t had time to dedicate to trying to fix her up properly, but looking around it’s almost like all the pieces are there.

                Hell, it’ll give him something to do while he has time to kill between deployments, his parents won’t mind storing it in an old barn if it means he comes home. It’s not like he has anything better to do.

                “You realize it’s never going to become airborne…” his father says, coming to stand beside him as he stares at it all, somehow just as big as it had seemed when he was a kid.

                “I don’t care. It’s good practice for me, and I enjoy it. No harm right?”

…            …            …

                The first time the Bronco reappears at the hangar Pete nearly has a heart attack. He definitely has a panic attack and has to breathe through it before grabbing the phone and ringing Ice.

                “Bradley. Is Bradley okay?”

                “Mav? What’s wrong?”

                “Just… I know I told you not to tell me. But can you just tell me he’s alive?”

                “Yes. I know he is. He left on his first deployment yesterday. Five months.”

                He breathes easier, thanks Ice for sharing that information with him and then turns to just look at the Bronco. It’s a bit dusty but it looks well maintained. Shiny and well cared for. A little before five months later when he wakes up the Bronco is gone and Pete finds himself more than okay knowing where the car’s true loyalties are.

…            …            …

                Bradley doesn’t believe in magic.

                Magic doesn’t exist.

                Any yet sometimes he wonders.

                Because he doesn’t know how to explain it.

                He’d left his car in Virginia Beach, fairly certain that it was going to be there when he got back. It’s not like anyone else can even drive it, let alone steal it. Although a part of him wonders what would happen if someone tried to steal the tires. And if he could film it.

                Getting off the carrier in San Diego he’s heading toward the transport to take him to base. He’s organized a flight back to Virginia Beach, and he’ll take his leave on the East Coast. Except the sound of a car horn has him looking and this, this is why he thinks his life is somehow got a touch of the eldritch or something. The Bronco is sitting and waiting. Waiting for him specifically, windows down, because no one else can drive it.

                But it can apparently drive itself and it came to pick him up.

                It’s a hell of a homecoming and he kisses his fingers and then taps the fingers to the dashboard as he gets in.

                “Good to see you buddy. Missed you.”

                He hopes no-one sees him talking to thin-air, but he’s also pretty sure his car can not only hear him but understands him. It occurs to him that he now has to cancel his flight transfer back, and he still somehow has to get to himself and his car to Virginia Beach, because he doesn’t want to be hanging around San Diego and bumping into anyone.

…            …            …

                “Thanks for the new bike…”

                “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

                “Love you too.”

                Tom frowns. Are people just dumping their old junkers at the hangar now?

                Well. At least it’s keeping Pete busy.

…            …            …

                “I don’t want you driving that late at night when you’re that tired. We aren’t in our twenties any more Pete…”

                “So you bought me a trailer? So I can sleep at the hangar?”

                “Well, not just sleep…”

                “Ooohhh… yeah okay. Let’s go give it a test drive huh?”

                “Sounds good.”

…            …            …

                Jake is tired. That has to be why he’s seeing a giant walking plane staring down at his plane, his do-it-upper that he’s had for over fifteen years now. He thinks and dreams about planes and flying so much he’s now seeing them when he’s awake. He should probably go back to bed. Then the thing is turning, bearing down on him and snarling.

                “You. Human. Did you do this?”

                “Holy shit…” Jake says.

                “Answer me!”

                “Did what exactly? Build it? Yeah. That was me. I’m trying to fix him up. Who are you? What are you?”

                The machine’s eyes flick over him, clearly assessing or looking for something and Jake stands where he is, scared shitless but refusing to show it.

                “Who I am does not matter, but my name is Starscream. This is… my friend. Jetfire. What happened to him?”

                “Uh. I don’t know. I’ve been collecting pieces and rebuilding it… is… Is Jetfire like you?”

                “Jetfire is better than I. I failed him. He will need his wings and some power.”

                Jake looks between the pile of pieces which form a very rough body of a plane fuselage and then at the towering body of… Starscream.

                “Wait, are you saying he can be bought back to life?”

                “Of course. We will finish rebuilding him.”

                “Holy shit,” Jake says again. “You’re serious. What are we going to need?”

                Starscream looks at him, and he doesn’t look happy.

                “We…” he looks even more disgusted at the word. “Are going to need help.”

                And yeah, okay. Jake can appreciate where he’s coming from.

[designernishiki]

aight im just gonna say it. some folks really gotta stop treating nishikiryu like they’re actually related and considering anyone who’s so much as Okay with them as a pairing of being incest apologists. like. that’s a legitimately fucked up and serious thing to accuse someone of just because of your view of two factually unrelated fictional characters.

[knifegremliin]

on my hands and knees begging for my body to let me sleep. please. please. just let me fucking sleep what do you WANT FROM ME.

[the-breloominati]

ignore the messy braeburn on the left I he’s my warm-up i guess. lol

anyway look at my boy!!!!!! the he!!!!!! committer of grand theft gender!!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Don’t know if you’ve seen this post on corruption vs redemption, its appeal, and that it’s basically the same power dynamic - influence. I thought you might like it because I think there’s something to that with thasmissy or…thasaster in general (should that probably be thazaster or thasmaster sure, but it looks like ‘disaster’ and that’s what it would in fact be).

Cus Yaz likes being in charge, likes (wisely) using her power etc. so now you’ve got her with a corrupted ‘Doctor’ that unlike the real corrupted Doctor, might be more evidently responsive to her influence. Very validating.

Then Missy as a corrupter being redeemed - enjoying corrupting the Doctor and disposables as ever, but also learning that maybe just having influence on someone in general, good as well as bad, scratches the same itch (like training Clara, and as we see in ‘Mischa’ later).

And control-freak 13 making this an internal dynamic. 13 who doesn’t actually choose to do much ‘teaching’ with Yaz; has no ‘i can save you let’s run off together like when we were kids’ etc. with Dhawan!Master; and who’s managed to distil the Doctor vs. Master stuff to its self-hatred/love/control bare essentials by actively corrupting herself without the middleman.)

oh yes!! completely this is it! yes because it's intensely about power right? like in the core the doctor/companion/master dynamics we've had, 13/yaz/master, 12/clara/missy, youve got the way the doctor's power over the companion and the way it...... i forgot what the word is. feels bad? like clara actively fights the doctor on the choices he makes for her and yaz doesnt challenge that power imbalance but it's equally as present

and then theres the power struggle between the doctor and the master where if you throw that companion between it it becomes sorta like one of those things that are like a cross between a seesaw and a swing and a merry go round. which ive actually only seen one of in my life so i have no idea if thats a clear reference

[yamikawas]

Heeeeey! Mwah! Did you feel that? It was ME!!!! KISSING you through the screen!! I just wanted to check in on my cute little darling <33 I love you SOOOOO much!

From your Yoomie ⚡

PS. I'm watching you <3

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AWAWAWAWAWAHSFHDHD YOOMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HI YOOMIE DARLING THANK U FOR THE KISYYYYYYYYYY CAN I HAVE LIKE 374837483758 MORE PLEASE<3<3<33<3<3<3<3PLEASE PLEASE KEEP WATCHING ME FOREVER I LOVE U SO SO SO MUCH MY DARLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG<3<3<3<3<3<4<4<3<3<4<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<233<3<33<<3<33<33÷333<3<<3

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.