#maybe I'll redo this a year from now who knows

[explosivedarling]

Once again I find myself revisiting my Fallout 4 verse and now having actually played it, I feel like my original two passes of this verse are unsatisfying to me. So here's probably the final update to her Fallout 4 verse separated into two first one is following the logic that Toni is the LW/Courier, the second would be following the logic that Toni is neither and follows her Wastelander verse detailed here

Wastelander Verse

Originally from the Capital Wasteland, Antonia hitches a ride with a caravan headed to the Commonwealth, mostly due to a growing wanderlust after her little adventure with the Lone Wanderer, she leaves Rivet City behind with the blessing of her parents.

While she knows her way around a pistol Antonia isn't a fighter normally but can defend herself if push comes to shove and earned her passage through her ability to repair clothing and basic items. Once the caravan arrives in the Commonwealth, she parts ways with them to strike it out on her own where she eventually ends up in Goodneighbor.

Antonia offers her services as both tailor and seamstress to the population at large, she travels to Diamond City a lot and can be encountered there or at Goodneighbor. In Diamond City she has a modest stall in which she offers her services.

She will ask the Sole Survivor if she can join them as she's growing restless sitting around doing textile work and wants to see what else the Commonwealth has to offer, they can choose to decline Toni's offer in which case she goes off on her own regardless of their intervention.

Like other Wastelanders, Toni fears the Institute but still advocates for an evacuation order to be issued and doesn't approve of its destruction without the Sole Survivor doing so, begging them to think about the senseless destruction of lives just because of the actions of a few.

She views the Brotherhood of Steel a lot more charitably than others would because of her experience in the Capital Wasteland and what the Lone Wanderer and by extension the BoS did for the population at large.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

Canon

Toni stayed in the Mojave for six years before she leaves it all behind having grown restless she returns to the Capital Wasteland where she lives in relative anonymity though it isn't long before people catch wind of her arrival and she's forced to leave again. Toni desires nothing more than to live a quiet life, she leaves the Capital Wasteland once again before the rumors are ever confirmed.

She hitches a ride to the Commonwealth by caravans earning her keep as either a caravan guard or courier. Once she arrives, she settles down very briefly in Bunker Hill before making her way to Diamond City. Once there she establishes a little stall once the Sole Survivor shows up she will ask if she could join them on their journey or pays them to let her join them, though either way the Sole Survivor can choose to turn her down.

Antonia will leave The Sole Survivor's side if they ally themselves to the Brotherhood of Steel, she's doesn't leave unless the following conditions are met: Madison Li is recruited to the Brotherhood. She has no ties to the Railroad outside of helping Harkness out but she is sympathetic towards their cause. Toni also has neutral opinions about The Institute, she will, however, become hostile and leave if The Institute is destroyed without issuing an evacuation order.

Destroying the Railroad also causes her to become immediately hostile once again due to the fact Antonia is vehemently against the wanton destruction of lives.

She offers no companion quest and only vaguely alludes to her adventures in both New Vegas and the Capital Wasteland at high affinity. If taken to the Prydwen or the Boston Airport she will ask to be left behind and seems paranoid at being around the Brotherhood of Steel, passing a difficult speech check allows the Sole Survivor to know that Toni was once affiliated with the BoS and passing another difficult speech check has her being honest about just how deeply involved she was with both East and West Coast chapters though she still won't tell anyone that she was the Lone Wanderer back in the Capital Wasteland and those who were around during her time there may or may not know who she is.

[raining-violet]

— 015; stars at dawn v2

Download here <3

stars at dawn v2 is a free to use, 6 page, single muse, google doc template. This is a revamp of my very first doc from well over a year ago featuring a pink color palette and lots of sparkles, and as usual lots of space to write any information about your muse.

Notes on use

To edit the doc once opened, click the three dots and then file. Then click make a copy. This doc is not mobile friendly as it uses drawings. Please don’t request editing permission! It sends an email to me every time and it’s annoying, please stop thanks <333 Also! Please do not redistribute my docs without credit, remove the credit, claim my work as your own, or copy any of my work!

Other notes

Song lyrics are from Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan (happy pride btw)! Images are of Pauline Bigniak. As usual, if you use my doc, likes, comments, and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

Look at me, I actually posted this one on time yipee. I have no clue when my next post will be, honestly, cause I have no ideas but I'll figure it out. Stars at dawn was my very first doc and I've been meaning to redo some of my older work for a while now. I plan to revamp a few others, too, so who knows maybe it’ll be my next project. I'm super happy with how this one turned out and getting to revisit my old work is always nice. Thank you everyone for all your support, it means a lot <3

[forestshadow-wolf]

It's raining, ghost idly notes. Technically he should be focusing on the field briefing that they're getting, but they'd already gooten one when assigned, one before they left base, and one on the plane ride here. So really, they're just talking in cirlces now.

Price is at the front of the table explaining the plan, which they have to wait four hours to even begin acting on, standing next to the open laptop showing all the documents they need.

Gaz is trying very poorly to act like he's listening. Poorly because he's been flicking wadded up pieces of paper at price (who is ignoring it pretty well)

Ghost usually doesn't sit during briefings, he gets distracted, so he takes up a spot by the wall.

But soap, uncharacteristically is also leaning up against the wall next to him. Usually he playing footsies.with gaz across the table, but not today.

Price is still droning on about the mission blah blah blah, ok well not blah blah blah but it's nothing he hasn't already memorized.

He watches soap squeeze tightly at his knee again, for the third time in the last 20 minutes, as far as he cam reach without making it obvious. Ghost also notes that he's stiffer than usual.

He leans into soap's space just a bit, "you 'kay?" He whispers. Soap nods almost imperceptibly.

"Yeah, why?" He hisses.

"It's just... you know you can sit down right?" He says, gesturing slightly to the 3 open chairs at the table. One of which would normally be occupied by a certain scot anyway.

"Yea- I knoe tha', I chose to stand for a reason."

"Well- I was jus' sayin', ya look uncomfortable, s' all."

"I am, tha's why I'm standing."

"Yeah, 'cus that makes sense-"

"Are you two done arguing yet?" Price cuts in. Soap looks just as chastised as Ghost feels, which... is really only enough to fake it.

"Yes, sir." They both respond, and peice goes back to his rambling.

The meeting ends soon enough, and they're finally released to get ready or whatever they need to do.

"You sure you’re okay, johnny?" Ghost catches a stiff legged soap just before he leaves.

"Aye, s' rain s'all" Ghost isn't really sure what that has to do with anything, and he says as much. "I fucked up my knee a few years ago, it's fine now, the rain just makes it act up a little. Something Something low pressure atmosphere, basic science, I think."

"Okay, well you know you could sit down. Would probably help." Ghost suggests... again

"Yeah and I'll not stand up again, not with this wanker" soap snorts at him, referring to his knee. Ghost frowns.

"Well... anything I can do to help?", soap shifts from one foot to the other.

"Not unless you got me some new knees. It's fine, Ghost, I'm still mission ready if that's what you're worried about. I actually had to redo the fitness tests once I healed up just to make sure I could still do my job."

"..."

"What?" Soap shifts hsi weight again

"... that's really.. not what I was asking about."

"Aye, well- what do you brits say- 'cheers, mate' I'm fine. Swear it."

"And that's why you're limping around?" Sure, maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but it's not technically inaccurate.

"I'm no' 'limping' around, and even if I was it's hardly noticeable. Why do you even care so much, it's no' you're problem." Soap sasses back.

"Well, I'd like to help if I can-"

"How? You gonna shout it outta me? There ain't shite you can do for it. Just leave it be, aye?"

"... fine, but I can help if you let me."

"Aye, I'll keep that in mind, thanks." And then he was walking away, off to do whatever he need to do before their mission.

Ghost makes a note to himself to ask about it again after they're back on base.

[i-dont-even-know-anymore976]

things i need from season 8

the diaz sisters - at this point the only thing that can help eddie is the not-so-silent judgement of a younger sister. ideally, one of them will show up and be like "you left chris with mum and dad?????? wtf??" and for him to flounder while she tells him chris is now spending the summer with his other aunt and cousins while she deals with whatever "this is" as she makes vague gestures towards him

a pet for buck - maybe dog but honestly i think he should adopt a number of the ugliest cats you've ever seen and have it be an ongoing joke that no-one ever sees the same cat so you don't know how many he has (truthfully i want someone to give that man a baby but ugly cats are the next best thing) (if we could get one shot of him [and tommy😉] waking up in a bed completely covered in cats it would make my year)

karen to be allowed one free punch at councilwoman ortez (and obvi to get mara back)

hen also gets a free shot but i almost feel karen deserves it more - she puts up with so much shit

taylor kelly redemption - maybe its just that i imprinted on her like a baby duckling but i want them to bring taylor back and have her do an expose on ortez & gerard

recast michael and bring him back - give bobby back his friend and let them resume their shenanigans!!!! honestly maybe they do the initial research into ortez&gerard and poor taylor has to work with them to make it into an actual news story

previously stated monster truck accident

more ravi - i need a ravi, begins episode more than i need oxygen

just like more silly calls - a toddler who's got their leg stuck in a stair railing, a grown man stuck up a tree trying to get down a cat (the cat jumps down easily by itself right in the middle of the rescue), MOUNTED POLICE!!!! i have just recently learnt that there are mounted police in LA (thank you the rookie) and WHY we haven't had a call with them and buck being a secret horse whisperer i'll never know but i need it

athena/bobby honeymoon redo - they deserve one nice vacation okay!!!!!

hostage-negotiator!may - i think the actress has gone to uni (good for her) and i also don't know how long it takes to learn to be a hostage-negotiator but i just think that she would be good at it and it would be fun (also i really just want may back! i love and miss her 😭)

and more jee!!!!! i love her too!!! and the enormous wendy house i hope buck, eddie, and tommy build for her

[manicdiana]

my purpose, my will to live and to not k1l mys3lfve (yet)

I will get skinnier in a sk1ns and 🦴s, deadly, emanciated, tragic, supermodel, poetic, iconic and inspiration story with before and after pictures way. And then if I don't die of the physical complications fast enough then i'll k1l mys3lfve or something. J7mp1ng or öv3rd0s1ng

I want it. I will get it. I already did very extreme things so i'll do it again, because they don't see anything anymore now. They just see my overweight ass confort eating constantly, hiding in the bathroom, miserable and insufferable, staying inside all day in bed and never moving because of social anxiety...

I have so much hatred, soo much sadness. My body will take it all. And everyone will see, the portrait of my distress and melancholy in a metaphysical horrific way, or more like of an artistic work that will make it nearly impossible for them to take their eyes away from me. Because my body IS a temple, it's just that it's a basic one... one without History. What makes a temple of ruins alluring is the knowledge of past glory and History. That's why saying that it looks normal is one of the biggest insults ever. Because think of it.. we are all artists, in this community, the 3dtumblr community. We craft our body into oblivion, visible bones defined cheeks, shades of grey under our eyes... We have our own set of pencils and brushes ; diet coke, sugar-free gum, precise forms of exercice, precise c0unt1ng 0f c4ls, precise ritu4ls around m34ls, even just the use of d1et1ing

I don't want to be nothing. I don't want to be a black piece of paper. I want too to have a legacy. But it takes some work for a blank piece of paper to become shades of complex blues... I think that's what I failed to realise prior to writing this post, I spended the two last months painting with my eyes and my head instead of my hands... I want to be more than a mere insect who's only relevency is the disgust that could come from looking at it a bit longer like i've been feeling like since the past 2.. 3 years? It takes some form of will to take action. Oh my dear lord, I wish so much that I was a exercice obsessed bitch. How can people have depression and a restrictive 3d at the same time? Personaly, I can't. Or at least I couldn't for the past two last months, the worst months of my life alongside the worst birthday day I had personaly

I also want people to leave me alone in some way, to the voices and anxiety to fuck off. I honestly cry every single day, there's really no exception... instead the days in which I f4st, I suddendly feel so numb when I f4st, and it's not even in a bad way it's genuiely in a good way, like "yay" "i'm alive!" "I still don't like life in general but in this present moment i feel really ok!"

F4st1ng is a way to cleanse your body globally, to pause and make a "summary", a redo, a rebranding, a rising sun. To reorganise all the google and youtube tabs left on your computer so that your device can be faster and more organised. To take all the raging colors and merge them into pure white or pitch black, shades of grey maybe?

This post is full of angst, I feel like i'm going to cringe in the future looking back at this post and have trouble sleeping at night knowing some people would have seen it nooo

Anyways, staying cold when i'm alone on purpose and taking cold showers is harsh, like i'm on a survival based tv reality show lol. And purposesly not sleeping at night so that I can sleep during the day or just be really tired so that i have less chances to think about or to actually eat food...

[redflagshipwriter]

Reassembly 3

ch1 ch2

Masterpost

Peter pushed his bangs back for the billionth time. They immediately fell back in front of his eyes as he hunched over the library computer. He'd spent all day trying to get his bearings in this universe. Eventually, his stomach had gotten attention. Even with the stuff from the hotel buffet, he was so hungry it was distracting.

That had made him realize that what he needed most was money. He needed access to a steady stream of money. When he left here he could try to make the best decision possible about the little bit of cash he had, sure. But it wouldn't last long.

He had the spiteful fantasy of taking the money he needed from the LOA company that had been funding …whatever they'd done to him. An all-expenses paid kidnapping was only fair. 

But it was only a thought. Whoever they were, they were dangerous. He shouldn't provoke them or give them any clues about him. Whatever experiments they'd been doing with him must have been expensive. They probably wanted him back. He needed to know more before he risked getting their attention.

Instead, Peter started up a resume. He put his real name at the top and then stared at it in indecision. He swallowed. 

Was that a good idea? He… he didn't exist here, so it seemed fine. But maybe he should use a fake name? 

Peter strained to think of a reason to use a fake name now that he knew he didn't exist here. How could those people possibly know his name? He definitely hadn't told them. It was probably smarter to be cautious, but it was his name. The idea of losing it made him feel like throwing up.

"If I think of a reason I shouldn't use it, I can change that." Peter muttered to himself quietly enough that no one seemed to notice. He took a few minutes to search around for high schools in the area. It was so weird that Midtown didn't exist here. He felt like a fraud as he entered the information for the school he thought would have been his school district. He double checked the year (and it was so weird that it was 5 years in the past here) and back dated his graduation 3 years. Then he grimaced and made it 5 years. 

No way would anyone who saw his face believe that. But he'd need to pretend to have a university degree to get this kind of work, so it couldn't be helped. 

'People lie on their resumes all the time,' Peter told himself. He still felt like crap about it. He still… he still hadn't graduated high school, and he probably never would. 

It was fine. He knew enough that he was never going to stick out as less educated than a high school graduate.

'I'll get the college degree, though. If I really am here for a long time, I need an education.' 

Peter deliberately picked an innocuous university to claim for his fake Bachelors in Computer Science. It took a while to find a place with a sufficiently not-prestigious program but enough graduates for him to have been lost in the crowd. He'd have to redo the resume with the real degree later. 

Oh. Wait. Peter went back up and deleted his name. That was his reason to use a fake name for this work. 

He was going to get a real degree in his own name. This resume was just to make some money, not to establish an identity. He watched the cursor blink for a while, trying to think of a name. It needed to be something that he could remember. Ned Leeds? It would make him too sad. Same for Tony Stark. But…

Peter slowly typed out James Barnes and huffed a laugh through his nose. 

He'd recently escaped unethical scientists and found himself lost in a new world where he had no friends or family. It seemed appropriate. 

"Hey," grumbled the mental Bucky Barnes that Peter's subconscious had apparently generated for some reason. "You little shit." 

That was fine. Peter ignored the rising evidence of a mental breakdown and finished falsifying a resume. He used it to apply for several contract jobs in web design. He took a deep breath to counteract the urge to make a joke with someone, anyone, about how it was funny for Spiderman to get into web design.

Man. He was lonely. 

There was no point in hanging around the library longer. The sun had set and it was close to closing time, 6:00 pm. He couldn't check anything out, not without an ID, and he wasn't going to get any emails back immediately.

Peter shuffled out and walked at random down the street. The sound of cars and pedestrians and crosswalks soothed his hindbrain. 

He used the time to think. To plan. 

He needed to refresh what he knew. The library would be a great start. He'd come early tomorrow and read some computer science books. That aside, he also needed to start working on a long term identity and getting into university. 

'I'm going to want a scholarship. If I can do that, I won't have to work too much.' 

The trouble with that was that Peter couldn't go to any random school. He needed to be somewhere with a significant budget for the sciences. If he was going to get home, he needed access to some serious technology. 

'That's a big ask. Why would a prestigious school offer full scholarships?' 

He felt defeated before he even started. But it was worth asking. That was the kind of question that the librarians wouldn't be suspicious of at all. He was actually in the right age group to look into college admissions. 

'Okay. I need an ID. Birth certificate? That's the first ID anyone gets.' 

Well. Time to see if the city administration buildings were where he remembered. How hard could it be to break in, print a birth certificate, and backdate and file it? He was Spiderman. 

…And Spiderman really shouldn't be using his super powers for crime. What would Aunt May think? Peter grimaced and rubbed at his face with both hands.  

Was it really that bad? 'I'm not stealing anything or hurting anyone,' he defended himself. 'I'm doing what I need in order to survive.'

The part that he felt worst about was lying about his education. But he had the skillset and qualifications, he just couldn't explain his internship to a genius that didn't exist here and extracurriculars at a school this universe didn't have. 

'That's barely even a crime,' Peter thought. 'Breaking and entering isn't great, but I'm just fixing my own paperwork. I really was born. So it's not a fake ID.' 

With that logic ironed out, Peter made his way to the vital records office. The building looked like he remembered, thankfully. 

So. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and walked around the block to see the building from all sides. 

It didn't exactly look super secure. It was an old brick faced building with a lonely camera angled down the stairs of the main entry. There was a metal detector visible from outside, and he knew from experience that there were maybe 3 security officers on the first floor.

'That's easy to get around if I enter from a higher floor. They'll probably have a security team in at night but they won't expect that. If they do a walk through, I'll hear them coming up the stairs or elevator.'

It seemed doable. Sort of.

'I need to know what birth certificates from my birth year looked like, I guess? And if the ones from today look the same. Or maybe I don't need to worry about it, as long as I enter my information digitally. I doubt they keep a paper copy for every birth. The building isn't even big enough. And you can get a copy printed whenever you need one, so… it being new-looking shouldn't be a problem.'

Okay. Alright, he could do this. He could do some paperwork. 

It wasn't nearly late enough for that kind of crime, though. Peter shoved his hands in his pockets and decided to spend a little of his money on food. 

Long term, getting pre-made food with limited finances was a terrible decision. He knew he should be getting like, beans and rice. But for now he went into a bodega and got the cheapest thing that he thought would make a dent in his hunger– a microwave burrito and a cola. Calories were good, right? He wolfed it down outside the store and ducked back in to throw away the trash immediately. 

It still wasn't late enough. 

He walked around the city for hours, waiting for an idea to hit him. There had to be a great solution. If he could only think of it, there was going to be something that he could do that would fix all his problems. His throat was hot and tight and his eyes were burning. He didn't cry.

God, he was tired. He eventually gave up. He was so tired and he had no idea where he was going to sleep but he really needed to because he was exhausted -

"Stop. Stop spiraling," he told himself. He sniffled. Aw, no, he wasn't catching a cold, was he? Crap. He hoped not. 

He didn't know what time it was, but it felt late enough. He made his way back to the vital statistics office to record his own birth.

Weirdly for a plan devised by Peter, it went smoothly. He entered from a 4th floor window without setting off any alarms. He found and powered on a computer in the right office (thanks for the labels!) and looked up a few birth certificates before he felt confident. He entered his data into the system and printed a copy before powering everything down. 

He was out the window within ten minutes of entering the building. 

Okay. That was step one. Birth certificate accomplished. "Congratulations, it's a boy," Peter muttered to himself. He patted at the bag to hear the reassuring crinkle of paper inside. Okay, that was great! It was progress. He felt better already.

What was next? 

…A driver's license. No one actually went around with a copy of their birth certificate to show when someone asked for ID. He needed a driver's license. 

He walked to the DMV and pulled off basically the same heist. The nerve wracking part was turning on the lights to take the photo. His stomach twisted and he was absolutely certain that someone was going to come and see why the lights were on. 

No one came. He backdated his license to the appropriate year and printed one typed up information for James Tony Barnes, saying that he was 22. Then he altered the birth year back once more to say he was almost 18.

Nobody in their right mind was going to look at his 15-year-old face and think he was 22. They'd just think he had a fake license. Which he did, so he needed them to think the fake license was real. He let out a deep breath and victoriously hit print.

It returned an error message.

…It wouldn’t print. Why?

He scanned until he found the field he’d messed up. Peter stared at it.

It was the social security number. He’d typed up his real one out of force of habit. It had been flagged as a mistake because it already belonged to someone in the system. 

Caught by a morbid curiosity, he looked up who it belonged to. It was a girl, actually, younger than him.

He wanted to cry. It was such a silly thing to cry over! He wasn’t emotionally attached to his social security number– it was just a string of data. But he sniffled. He wiped something away from his eyes that he didn’t think about. Don’t think about it. He wasn’t in a safe place to think about it yet.

It took a few minutes to calm himself. He erased everything he’d done, turned off the computer, and left the way that he’d come.

He couldn’t get the license yet. He needed to get a social security number first. That probably meant that he needed to do some research. Did the office of vital statistics issue them? It didn’t seem right, since each state had to be coordinated. Surely there was some kind of national office that handled all of it.

For lack of anything else to do, his feet took him back to the library. He was so tired that his eyes were aching. 

Peter looked at the opening hours. He licked his teeth. He thought about it. 

It opened at 10am. It was.. it was… 

He decided to risk powering on the evil janitor's phone. It was 11 pm. That was plenty of time for him to sneak a nap on the couch in the quiet space.

"I'm not hurting anyone," Peter said aloud. It was very quiet. He spidered his way up the back wall of the library, pried open a window, and guiltily stretched out on one of the sofas. He set an alarm for 8am. That was definitely earlier than staff would come in, right? Pretty sure. 

He slept like the dead. But specifically, like the restless dead- his spider sense woke him up. Peter had no idea what time it was or why he was awake. He blindly grabbed his bag and the phone and leapt back out the window. He was shutting it when the light turned on inside.

He blinked blearily at the sunlight. He checked the phone.

7:21 am. Wow. Okay. Library workers were diligent. Maybe they had to dust all the books or something. He powered the phone off, and wondered how long the battery would last. He didn't have the charger for it. 

Well. It seemed like a good time to go to a different hotel from yesterday and check out the buffet. 

The hotel he went to had a less exciting buffet. There were a couple kinds of sliced bread and packets of margarine and jelly, as well as coffee, water, milk, and two types of juice. Still, it was free food, so he smiled at the clerk like he belonged there. This time he took a lot less food. Like, a lot less. He didn't want to clear out too much of their stuff. 

Two pieces of jellied toast, a water, an orange juice and a coffee later (blegh, it was burnt), Peter was back outside and at loose ends. 

He didn't want to turn the phone on to check the time. He guessed it was maybe around 8am. He had a couple hours until the library opened up again. 

Well. He sniffled his clothes experimentally.

He should work on that. This outfit wasn't smelly yet, but it would get there. He needed a change of clothes.

He took everything he owned to a rooftop and spread out his work kit. That was a rather grand way to say "three pilfered sewing kits." 

The scissors that came with them were absolutely tiny. Peter picked one up and marveled at it. It wasn't going to cut fabric, no way. It would cut thread and that was it. 

But woven fabric always tore along the seam line, right? Peter took out his dumpster shirts and found the one with the worst damage- the red shirt. He picked a spot and tore with his hands. 

It tore a straight line.

"Yessss," he cheered. He muscled through the seam and then went back to make another tear a little bit above the other one, so that he was basically holding a crop top, a bottom part, and a two inch strip from the middle that was unusable because the scissor cut had been jagged. He wound that up and put it in his bag because he didn't know what else to do with it. 

Now he felt nostalgic, so he took out the blue shirt and did the same thing. The cut hadn't been in exactly the same spot, so the shirt with the blue top and red bottom strip was going to be a little longer than the other shirt. But that was fine, right? 

He pinned the majority red shirt together using the pins from all 3 packages and painstakingly threaded a needle with the dark blue thread. Then he got to work. 

It wasn't hard, honestly. It was more meditative than anything else. He was mostly done when he had the feeling he was being watched. Peter lifted his head and looked down. Then around. Finally, he looked up. "You fly," he said, impressed. "That's cool." 

The flying teenager cocked his head at Peter and floated down. It was- honestly, it was kinda creepy and uncanny. Flying shouldn't be silent. There should be, like- an engine running or wings flapping. 

He tried to keep the unease off his face. This wasn't his universe. He'd look like a weirdo if he acted surprised about it. He tried to look normal. 

"What are you doing?" The guy asked.

Cool, he must be pulling it off.

Peter lifted his sewing project and turned it to show off the seam where red met blue in a neat line. "Customizing my wardrobe," he said, like a freaking dork would. If he said it confidently enough it would sound cooler, right? He eyed up the other teenager. He had spikes on the shoulders of his leather jacket. "I guess you do that too. You uh…. You do that yourself?" 

The guy touched the studs on his leather jacket self consciously. "No, I bought it this way." He leaned in. "I didn't know you could do that." He seemed impressed. 

Peter flushed, discomfited as he tied off the knit and cut his needle free. This guy was way too cool looking to talk to Peter like that. "Yeah, you can do anything to your stuff," he said. Wow, so eloquent. He cleared his throat and tried to look busy turning the shirt inside out to show how it looked. Luckily it had turned out well. "I like your piercings." And the fade was cool too. Wow, no one at Midtown looked like that. Even their jocks were actually nerds. And this guy was a jock for real. He was huge and handsome. 

The guy got real close, looking at Peter's bi-colored shirt.

Peter squirmed. The scrutiny was enough to make him feel paranoid about it being in Spiderman's colors. But this guy didn't know about him. Right? No way, there was no way. He stuffed it in his bag and tried not to look sweaty and suspicious. No underage vigilantes here. Just two normal guys on a 35th story rooftop. 

"Teach me." 

His head flew up at that imperious demand. "Teach you what exactly?" Peter was too surprised to moderate his tone. It came out too high, too nerdy. "Like- sewing in general,  or- your jacket? Do you wanna customize your jacket more?" Oh, man, he was nervous enough that he couldn't speak straight. So embarrassing. Peter forced himself to smile and waited for the reaction with a cringe. This felt like the moment before he got put in a locker.

Man, this dude had intense blue eyes. And he was holding so still. Was he even breathing? "I want more metal in my jacket," he decided. "And- could we make part of it mesh?" 

Peter was mostly just glad the guy had started breathing again.

'Mixing leather and mesh doesn't seem structurally sound. Plus, isn't leather meant to be kind of protective?'

…"If you pay for supplies, we can try," Peter said, because this might as well happen, and now he knew someone. Now he knew a normal human being from this universe who he could lean on for cues. He latched on- metaphorically. In reality, he just started packing up his supplies and hoped the guy didn't recognize them as hotel kits. Peter was used to the mortification of being poor, but this was a bit much even for him.

"Yeah, I have Luther's credit card." The guy whipped one out of nowhere and flipped it between his fingers at a dizzying pace. He slapped on a lazy grin and watched Peter intently as he did his weird little dexterity trick.

That was what broke his nerves. That? That was the kind of thing that Ned did in his practical magic phase. 

'Is he trying to be cool?' Peter wondered, incredulous. 'He's trying way too hard. He's not actually that cool. I mean, he's definitely cooler than me, but it's not as bad as I thought.'

Awesome. Peter could work with that. He relaxed tremendously. He was just gonna think of this guy as a really muscular Ned. He was pretty sure that Ned would still hang out with Peter even if he'd gotten that tall and strong after puberty, so it was probably a fair comparison.

"That's great," he said, pretending he knew who Luther was. The guy's stepdad or something, probably. Why else would he have a credit card from someone he called by their name? "You wanna go now?" He paused. "I'm Peter, by the way." 

The other boy's hand was weirdly warm and firm when he reached out for a handshake (what? Teenagers shake hands here?. That was so uncool and he'd never have guessed it). "Kon." He flashed his perfect teeth again. "Yeah, let's go. Wanna walk or fly?" 

Peter shrugged. "Whichever is cool," he said. He hoped Kon didn't expect him to be able to fly. If he needed to he could like, parkour, and pretend that was just his preference. 

"Flying it is!" Peter yelped and just barely aborted a dodge as Kon cheerfully grabbed him in a bridal carry and swooped out into the open air. 

Kon and Peter, both wrong at the arts and crafts store: "I have successfully befriended a normal guy in my age group. I can copy him surreptitiously to learn to blend in better, as long as he doesn't learn that I'm not a cool guy like him."

[aqours]

anyways if i'm going this deep in lemme share this teen mom Ashley fic idea i had i'd love feedback on the idea

this is completely unrelated to my other idea regarding this this is an entirely different can of worms i'm putting this under a readmore just bc it's a bit long and also filled with dead doves so only open and eat it at your own discretion

so basically the idea goes like this- when they were teenagers (her 14 and him 16) Andrew and Ashley got into some kind of big fight (still working on it) most likely due to him having a girlfriend in hs at the time. during this period, in an effort to make a point and piss him off, Ashley gets a boyfriend of her own (who just so happens to have messy black hair and green eyes wow what a coincidence) who was in a class with Andrew. some incident happens where Ashley "accidentally" leaves her phone with explicit texts on view (but also tis like the 90s so maybe i'll redo that) and Andrew talked with his classmate and then uh there was another second missing person, and after an intense argument Ashley and Andrew "slept in the same bed" and anyways a month later Ashley announces she's pregnant casually at the dinner table putting the pregnancy test she put right on it.

"Huh. Not the reaction I was hoping for."

"Forgive me for not being particularly fucking thrilled at the idea of being a grandmother at 32, Ashley."

"You know, if my kid has a kid at 15 and their kid ALSO has a kid at 15 you could be a great-great-grandma at only 75."

"Please shut the fuck up, Ashley."

and Andrew is in complete denial it is. it's been 6 years and every single person except Julia refuses to believe it isn't. at one point when Alexis "Alex" Graves is a baby she makes a comment she has her father's (green) eyes with a wink and grin at Andrew. during the Burial Route when Mrs. Graves is trying to plead with Andrew she finally says "... If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your ------------------" and it's like his brain physically blocks out any insinuation with he's the father with white noise. so he's been living as the kid's uncle officially and has no idea how to act around this kid most of the time.

Ashley is not a good mom by any means and has had CPS called on her more than once but incompetence won't remove the child entirely and she does like. actually love this kid but her obsession with Andrew is clearly more important to her, the fact this kid keeps him tethered to her even if he won't admit, and also because she spoils the kid however she can to try to prove she's a better mother just because her daughter is happier than she was, when learning Alex hit another kid to get their candy she was outright like fuck YEAH if you want something take it!!! girlboss gatekeep gaslight to this four year old and Andrew at least tried to teach the kid right from wrong in response. during her first birthday Mrs. Graves asked Ashley if she was gonna do anything and Ashley didn't see a point the kid is 1 they won't remember the birthday there's nothing they'd want and she doesn't seem to process the point of a birthday for a baby isn't about toys and fun but to celebrate their life. when Ashley suggests they can get by on mugging people Alex says she can pose as a homeless sad kid and for the first time in a while at her Ashley lights up and says THAT'S why you're mama's favorite <3333

babies don't make everything better the co-dependent toxic satanic demonic summoning cannibal incest game's plot now also includes a 6 year old that has also eaten people now with two of the most awful parents imaginable around her and if anything Ashley might get colder once her mom is dead because now there's no way

thoughts? i really want to write this but i'd love feedback

[fainthedcherry]

When I was a child in 2013, visiting Nickelodeon's site and finding a treasure-trove of Spongebob, Winx and TMNT flash games was like magic to me. BUT MAN. The TMNT flash games are one of the best ever to me I've played in my life. (on an aesthetic stand-point! Turtle Tactics and Dark Horizons are so awesome man, legendary flash games to me.)

Since I am utterly autistic about 4 green alien turtles and their rat dad...Here we are again. With me posting OC cringe 2016 me would've killed myself over :V (cry about it 11 yo/ me, afraid of cringe culture back then, it's DEAD NOW)

Gonna sneak-post my redo of that ancient drawing I did of Alex 2 years ago, for the base-post : D

2 years ago, I used flashpoint to replay it for the first time in years and I remember crying of glee LOL (I still play Dark Horizons and turtle tactis to this day btw). I played Dark Horizons and Turtle Tactics and also TMNT: Throw Back (NO I DID NOT NAME THIS LIKE A MEME THIS IS ITS NAME. I STILL BURST INTO LAUGHTER LIKE A CHILD OVER THE NAME AGING POORLY DUE TO INTERNET LINGO)

Those 2 flash games are just so...Technically advanced?? For its time?? LIKE A FULLY FLEDGED 3D FLASH GAME WITH UNITY ENGINE BASIS? DAMN. And then Dark Horizons? CHEF'S KISS I LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH. AESTHETICALLY AND THE COMBAT FEELS RLLY NICE TO ME IMO, AND JUST...Everything about THAT flash game, god TIMELESS CLASSIC I COULD YAP ON FOR HOURS ABOUT THIS NO JOKE.

I am enthralled by the designs and art of Dark Horizons, it's why I made this drawing. The game just..Speaks to me on so many levels. IT'S JUST SO PLEASING TO SEE ALL THE ARTWORK I EXTRACTED. As far to my knowledge- it never got released, so I might make a post of just a few favourites I liked from the game. :D

I just wonder if I can post those in the first place, it's after all, not my artwork, from a flash game, and TMNT, so yeah, legal IP and stuff. I unfortunately don't know who the artist if of the flash games, but if I can find that out via googling or digging for credits in the game or the files, I'll see if I can credit them, so that posting will be fairly accredited!!

OH YEAH RIGHT ALSO QUICK BANTER ABT ART SORRY I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THOSE FLASH GAMES AS YOU CAN TELL,,,

I studied the in-game sprites for a good few hours back then, and did my best to replicate it to the best of my abilities!! I think Mushu maybe could've been done better looking back at it, but I think it was the best that I could do back then. :D Plus, I remember being really happy, excited and proud of this piece, as it reflected something, my childhood self always wanted: For Alex to like.."fake" being an official character LOL. I had sooo many dreams where Alex was hanging out with the turtles and Ninjago and throwing in Power Rangers for good measure, just...Everything I liked as a child, I somehow connected in my dreams via either "OH YEAH THE RAINBOW FAIRY!" or "OH YEAH SUDDENLY PORTAL AND MY MARY-SUES JUST BRAVE IT WHILST THE OFFICIAL CHARACTERS DRAMATICALLY TELL THEM NOT TO GO"

^I had vivid and....Creative dreams as a child to say the least, sometimes even Darth Vader and Eggman appeared as the bad guys, despite TMNT and Power Rangers and Ninjago w/ the snakes and lord Garmadon or however you spell him (I never checked + I'm German so ofc his name might be different in english)- I- do I have to go on about the dreams I FULLY remember I had, as a 6-9 yo/, until I told myself at 10 how embarassing my dreams are and stopped doing so? I DIGRESS. I..Need to be more professional in these, instead of such pure fandom trash oml, I feel bad for whoever actually has to read through my blatant autistic interests as a child and thinking "wtf is he on about" dfgklfdg

ANYWAY NEKST POST IS THE BASE. I SWEAR. SORRY I LOVE RAMBLING

[syntethizinglove]

DEVLOG #11 - Updated UI

Almost a week has passed since the latest announcement and I managed to get some work done.

For now the main menu and textbox will look the same, as I think they still look good even with the updated UI, but I'll consider redoing them in the future for the complete game. 

The rest has changed considerably! The menus now have much more personality and are quite colorful, acting like a sort of personal diary/notepad for Hannah. Everything works as intended (I'm only missing the "confirm" screen and the language selection button) but I had to put the credits screen on hold until I reach a point when I know exactly who to credit.

I'd like to change a few things, maybe work more on the music, add sfx and have only custom made backgrounds. I also plan to polish the writing a bit, mainly in the first part of the game which people found pretty boring, but hopefully it's just a matter of deleting a few sentences, so that I can still use the translations from last year. I feel bad for all the people who helped me and still can't see their work put to use because I felt too overwhelmed to continue the project. Certainly I wasn't in a good place mentally but I have to admit that Tyrano's unwillingness to collaborate wasn't helpful. Yes, the only reason this game even exist is because of that engine and I'll always be grateful for that, but its strenght of being so easy for beginners was also its weakness. 

I'm still a newbie in game development in general and with Ren'Py, but after my first Ren'Py project "Sprint down memory lane", I already learned so much and I'm able to design and code UIs that I never even thought were possible to do! As I probably already wrote in the past, the main protagonists of this game have been my OCs for years so I want to write this game's story by myself at all costs, which means it probably won't be the best so let me apologize in advance! I'm just stubborn, I want to be able to do everything and asking for help feels like cheating, although it totally isn't. I'd like to collaborate with a writer in the future to bring my stories to life, I know I'll definitely enjoy the process more if I won't have to worry about people disliking my writing ^^"

Anyway, I digress! This is all I can show you for now and I won't hide that I'm so proud of myself, comparing these screenshots to the current demo! Next I'll add all the text in the game (which will be so, so much easier this time around T.T) and then polish it as best as I can. In the meantime, I should think of a plot for this year's Yuri game jam...

See you soon!!

[chartreuseian]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter ❤️❤️❤️

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

28!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

607,203

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sanctuary!

4. Top five by kudos

Mr & Mrs - 127 (aka train fic)

Love Don't Die - 46 (bad future fic that got away from me)

Sturdy - 30 (aka desk fic)

With Interest - 30 (I honestly have no idea why I wrote this one!?)

When Will Failed the Perception Test - 19 (Will is a goober)

All, shockingly, Helen/Nikola.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Sometimes I'm slow, but I try to respond to them all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote one once where Helen was dying? It's pretty sad.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lololol all of them?

I mean, as a general rule, I'm going to go for happy endings over sad. Train fic is turning out to be the fluffiest/happiest (just you wait for that last chapter!!!).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Back in the Olden Days and in a different fandom, but not in our happy little family these days 🥰

9. Do you write smut?

Mwahahahahahaha...

Yes. Almost exclusively these days. Though I am working on a non-smut story!

10. Craziest crossover?

Cross overs aren't really my vibe, soz.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Hmmm... No? I don't think so. I mean, I've written tags or additions to other people's stories, and other people have written additions to mine, but not proper co-writing.

14. All time favorite ship?

Helen/Nikola but I don't think that's shocking to anyone.

I am getting more and more invested in Helen/James though...

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Ha (looks awkwardly at the eight year hiatus...)

I'm going to try and finish everything I start, but my dreams of redoing She Had Him At Hello dwindle every now and then just because it'd be such a huge workload.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Description. And perspective. I think I'm very consistent and clear and I've gotten out of the head jumping habit. Also punctuating direct speech. I never used to be great at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Knowing when to stop! I keep writing stupidly long scenes that have no business being that long.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I work had to find work arounds. Sometimes I'll include one or two words, but for longer pieces I spend a lot of time consider whose perspective we're in. If it's the person who is speaking the other language, then I'll just put it in English and say that they've said it in another language in the speech tags. If it's from someone else's perspective, I'll just say that they spoke in the other language (because that person doesn't understand it anyway).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ooof. Private Practice.

20. Favorite fic you've written so far?

Lessons series maybe? I'm fickle though - my favourite is mostly what I'm working on at any given time. So right now my modern AU and all the cute smooshy feels its giving me.

[dootznbootz]

Sparta royal family headcanons?? Any generation.

I HAVE A LOT AND PROBABLY HAVE TO RESEARCH MORE BUT I DO!!!! >:D Thank you for the ask!!! *headbonks*

So we don't know much info with Hippocoon and how that went down yet other than basics YET or if I plan for him to be a half-brother to Icarius and Tyndarius. BUt Icarius and Tyndarius are opposites in that Tyndarius is a worrywart and Icarius is just vibing most of the time. Tyndarius is also just dealing with more stuff...they're their generation's version of Agamemnon and Menelaus in a way with how one brother takes a lot of the brunt for the other except both have a happy ending :'D )

Also, neither are the best fighters as while Sparta was pretty big on military they were exiled for a bit. Another thing with them, being half-naiad, (and being surrounded by others like them), it makes it kind of easy to tell when one of your kids is fucking with one of your advisors as they can feel the water being moved as well. It's harder for Icarius though as his children are more naiad than him. It's easy for Tyndarius as Clytemnestra is less naiad than him. Kind of go into that here, just not with the specific family dynamics :D Also might change some things

I didn't plan for naiads and naiad-born to really have scales but now I'm kind of coming around to it because I just KNOW Tyndarius picks at them and Leda has to do the whole "stop that". (might have to redo that post I did on naiads because of it, or maybe just have a poll just for the homies :P might be skin colored and just be different skin texture. idk for sure) Also while Icarius and his whole family are pretty okay about water and spend a lot of time in the water as Periboea is a Naiad and all his children are 3/4th naiad, Tyndarius often forgets that he needs to get into the water every once in a while. Leda doesn't technically need it and his children are only 1/4th so they don't need it as often.

Leda: Dear, when was the last time you went for a swim? You've been looking over those tablets for a while, I'll take over. loosely based on clay records found at Knossos :P I think they're neat. LINEAR B, BITCHES! Tyndarius: Oh, it has been a bit! Let me finish this one up before I do. Leda, getting annoyed at him scratching at himself just dumps a pot of water over him: Better? Tyndarius: Yeah, actually! :D

It's...sometimes a bit of a problem when you're a person who needs to be damp often and two of your children kind of always have a lot of static electricity :'D

I know Leda and Tyndarius have affection for one another, but I don't really have a plan for how they got together :P I DO kind of for Icarius and Periboea though! :D All I know is that Icarius being a runner, it's really funny to me to think this guy, being half-naiad, just fucking RUNS on water for funsies, which annoyed Periboea when he's back from exile. Plan for them to have a pretty happy marriage, though sadly, that's not the case for all their children :') and that's part of the reason why he tries to get Penelope to stay in Sparta as he's overprotective of them all while also desperately not wanting them to have feuds like what happened to him and Tyndarius.

Lil bit of spoiler but...Hermione was 5 years old when her mom was kidnapped and she was a bit traumatized by it. :') as she kind of got to see it happen

[loftec]

It's a tag game! Thanks to @deedala for tagging me :D

Name: Elin

Age: 37

Location: Sweden

What's one of your go-to karaoke songs? Singing by yourself in the car or in the shower totally counts. I once learned all the words to Kyu Sakamoto's Sukiyaki just in case I'd ever end up in a karaoke situation, but I haven't yet. My dream karaoke song would be Resistansen or Delikatessen, but what are the chances they've got those on roster?

If you had the power to control one of the four elements, which one would it be and why? Air, so I can turn the winds in my favour when I'm biking somewhere. That's how that works right?

Think of one of your defining personality traits - which animal embodies it? Someone once told my I have the same kind of calm aura as a capybara, I'm not sure that's true but I want it to be.

Are there any fan theories that have stuck with you? Think of the infamous "Scooby and the gang are all actually high"

I feel like there must be better theories that I believe, but I can't think of any now besides "Shrek didn't have a name and made one up on the spot when Donkey asked him".

Name a movie you watched or a book you read as a kid that you were totally not supposed to watch/read at that age.

I don't know about "not supposed to", but I definitely watched Rob Roy at an age that I could not handle it. Seriously, I could not stand seeing Liam Neeson in anything for maybe 10 years after, and I realised only recently that actually it was Tim Roth's fault.

Name a food or drink that you totally hated as a kid and now you really like. My tastes are pretty much the same. I only learned to love cilantro as an adult, but I don't think I ever tried it as a kid.

How about one you still hate? I don't like rosehip soup, or the little dry almond cookies they give you with it, stop assuming I'll like the cookies!!

What's your least favourite chore? Dishes. Every day. More dishes. I am my own worst enemy.

Do you have one that you actually enjoy? laundry and weekly grocery shopping, I have a nice little morning out every Saturday.

And to close it off, share a lyric or two that really resonate with you.

This is from a Swedish version of Frazey Ford's "September Fields". I would cite the original which resonates with me very deeply, but this swedish interpretation has made me ugly cry more than once so... It's a combination of having listened to the original for years and years and feeling it in my soul, and then hearing someone's interpretation of it and it just like... getting it.

Över fälten i september, skiner sommarns sista sol Vi är redo, redo att åldras Vi är redo, vi är redo att tro Vi tror på varandra, det räcker mer än nog

Tagging @the-rat-wins @damnnmilkovich @beckyharvey29 @wehangout @captainjowl @wideblueskies @thisfeebleheart @arrowflier @whaticameherefor and anyone else who wants to do it!

[the-blind-geisha]

Onward to 2024

I know I have a few days till the year ends but meh. I'll write it now!

This year was far more productive for me after the prior year tried to take me out several times. While my new found health issue which may or may not persist left me in a state to constantly produce stuff in worry I'd never get the chance, it was still nice to look at the WIPs I got done.

Having finished The Demon King of the Desert was my main goal. I was so happy to have it finished, and be it on AO3 or Wattpad, I am glad it was loved as it was. ♥ While I would love to go back, revise, and pimp it out to be something far more explored in some areas, I plan to wait a moment before doing so. The original ending was something a bit different and the beginning was so rushed because I only hoped it would be 10 chapters. But, well, things run away from me.

The characters are still very much alive in my heart, and who knows—maybe I'll do the in-between idea of what Demiurge and Gerdu were up to during their absences (as well as do a ref sheet of Gerdu).

I do want to work more on my Patreon. I wanted to work on one for years, and now I have reasons to work there behind the scenes.

While all my mature things will remain there, the rest will gradually become public. I do have some comics I want to work on, that'll begin there and slowly drift to public spaces in due time. ♥

The King of Boos as well as a few other scenes I'd love to turn into comics from my King Boo / Reader story will be there. Sadly, as it stands, the first one won't be released till I am done with You're the Inspiration. Just because of how the two coincide with one another a bit. But it will eventually!

Because of my desire to dive into my childhood once more, I will be working on a few things with Violetta, my new Mario OC, and maybe make a self-insert OC in general since I want to do something with Rosalina too. She's my queen, sorry. ;^;

In general, I want to get some comic-ing done. I love comics, even if they take me forever to do at times. I figure Patreon will be my go to!

I also have some monster stories (and ref sheets for some of my boys, gals, and in betweens) in the works. I just have a massive to-do list that's bigger than my backside, so stuff will come out as needed!

I will do my best to try and work on using my artist tablet more over my mouse. While I want to continue using my mouse just so a broken tablet can't stop me from ever doing digital art, I do want to try and feel comfortable using an artist tablet all the same. ♥

2023 really opened up a lot of ideas for me. I redid my reference sheets too, which I am glad I didn't get far in those, or I would have screamed at the many I'd have to redo. But I plan on redoing the old ones and moving to a better future with them.

Oreana and Ignatius' story will continue at some point as will another story I may put into comic format if I can draw creatures better again. ♥ It's an old idea inspired by a fanfic of epic craziness that I still have a fondness for that was done in my pre-net days when I was a kid.

Anywho! Hoping for a brighter, just as productive, new year! Stay safe, everyone, and thank you all for your support!

[inkofamethyst]

June 21, 2024

Okay so I started working through some problems on a website I discovered called Rosalind. It's several bioinformatics coding challenges. Harder ones unlock as you complete easier ones. It's pretty fun! Each problem has taken progressively longer to complete, sure, but I'm really loving getting back into the problem-solving mode. The one thing is that they don't give you aaaaaany coding help or hints or suggestions, so that will probably make things really difficult down the line (the best way to learn!!! (I need to maintain optimism)). Currently (almost) everything has been within my skillset, so mostly string manipulation and simple operations, and even though all of my work was probably worth a combined five hours on the eight problems (only finishing seven because I couldn't figure out probability), they ultimately weren't too bad. This will probably be what I spend my time on in the office to keep my coding skill up when I have nothing else to do.

While I should probably be learning R... I simply don't want to right now. Maybe in July after I get back from home idk.

I've also started watching music theory lectures (as opposed to just the interactive online textbook thing), and I really enjoy them! The circle of fifths is really clicking now for the first time in my life lol. I might try to also use downtime in the lab to write out my scales since I have a better understanding of how they work (kinda). It presents the textbook content in a slightly different way which I kind of appreciate, and then I can take that perspective back to the online textbook exersizes which I do for a few minutes daily. When I go home (so very soon!!!) I'm going to have to bring out ol' girl Melody and try some things, I think.

On that note (hehe), I need to think of a name for my bass!! My flute is Melody, my sax is Jasmine, my uke is Lulu... which are admittedly not very creative but I think they got a little better over time :P (Melody because flutes play melody (I was twelve, okay?), Jasmine because saxes play jazz, and Lulu for Honolulu because ukes are from Hawaii). So I think that, in keeping with tradition, the name has to be a little cheesy. I have one idea, but I don't think it's clever enough.

I haven't been eating very well lately. I'm in the process of restocking my pantry. I think I sort of just.. ran out of steam for cooking for myself. So it's been an embarrassing amount of chef boyardee, uncle ben's, velveeta... but tomorrow, I'm shaping up! Meatball stroganoff. And I have a plan for future meals, so I'll keep an eye out for sales, etc etc. Gonna get restocked! I'm shaping up! Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a walk in the morning! Maybe before even picking up my phone! Who knows!

Today I'm thankful that it's cooling down!!!! And also for the rain :) And also that the pollen is gone!!!!! After a month of suffering it was suddenly just no longer blowing into my open window :D

wait one last thing, circling back, even though I want to give my brain a break from the bioinfo problems, I inherently still feel that I've left something undone, as in I started working on problem 7 but couldn't figure out the right formula to even do the probability by hand, and even though I want to give myself a full weekend break, my brain is still passively thinking about it because I feel as though I didn't come to a satisfying conclusion. i wasnt even supposed to finish problem 8 tonight but i couldnt let it go.

so i need a distraction.

crochet it is (I'm working on my vest! it is suuuuper cropped (I'm about 2/3 through the front panel right now) and I fear my tiddies will not make it in, but hopefully it will be done before I go home so I can block it and maybe fix it? [edit, two days later: the front was just wonky because this is the first thing I've crocheted in years and I hadn't figured out my tension yet; def gonna redo it i think]).

actual last thing: surprisingly, I'm actually actively working toward several goals. like i always set them, but the past couple of weeks have been a bit of a lull. now I just feel craaazy energized.

[miawstic]

oh hey!

it's me! I'm back!

lots of folks are flocking over from twitter right now, so now seems like a good time to start again for myself as well—though I've actually been thinking about starting again for a long time now. a lot has changed in my life and in return I've changed a lot about this blog, so I'll be talking about it all for a bit.

there'll be a tl;dr at the bottom if you don't feel like reading it all, but I'd appreciate if you did!

so, hey. I thought for a long time about what to do with this account. this place spawned and held a lot of memories of people who did me wrong and the mistakes I'd made, and it was bad enough for a while that I just didn't want to look at it at all.

it took a long time to accept what happened to me and that it shouldn't have happened, and that I shouldn't be protecting and supporting the people who were involved anymore. but, yeah, I think I was kinda groomed. that sucks, and I won't go into details about it. I'm thankful to have the clarity I have now as an adult to come to terms with it.

I considered wiping this account entirely and moving to a new account—both to try to erase what happened and to have a more appropriate place to house the new type of content I've moved onto. but, I've had this account since the day I turned 13. I'm 22 now. it's been my home and I'm not letting any assholes' influence taint it and take it away from me. also, I can post what I want, lol.

that all being said, though, I have updated the look of this this place to match my current tastes! I'd like to do even more, but I'll need to draw stuff to do that. so, while this blog has already been hugely overhauled, it'll continue to be a work in progress until I get the time to make some assets for it. I also wiped a large chunk of my old posts because, frankly, nobody needs to see all of that. and, y'know, memories of being groomed and all that, lol. I'd like to totally redo my about as well—maybe make a new one entirely somewhere else?

speaking of Blogs and Posting, I should probably let you all know that I'm not going to be posting anymore megaman content anymore—neither through my own posts nor reblogs. I've grown out of that fanbase, and I think it's time to move on for everyone's sake. if that disappoints you, I'm sorry, but also, I'm not sorry because this is the best thing for me. I don't need it anymore, but I'm grateful for all the growing I did while being into it. you're entirely welcome to leave if cookie run and my ocs aren't your jam—thanks for staying with me all this time! and to those who choose to stay regardless, you have my whole heart. thank you to both!

I can't say how often I'll be posting here, as I've gotten a lot of things in my life now that eat up my time (this is a good thing, in my teenage years I would've never imagined having the responsibilities I have now!). on top of two jobs, I also co-own the cookie run kingdom wiki now! managing and improving that place takes a LOT of my time, seriously. it's made me slow down significantly in making my art, but that's alright—I seriously love it there, and I've met so many amazing people and built a lot of other skills from being there. like coding! I can do that now! I'm responsible for coding and designing a very big portion of the templates and extra styling on there, and I'm very, very proud of it! being a representative of the wiki, you can always feel free to ask me about the site, its policies, etc. here. also, I'll probably be going back to school soon...

but anyways, oh yeah, art. I've got a pretty good backlog of completed drawings that I'll be posting to here. I'll be queuing the posts to come out at probably a rate of one a day until they're up, though. no more posting 7 pieces in one day and posting the next in 3 months (at least for now 🤔). like I said, I don't have a ton of time to draw constantly like I used to, but I'll do what I can in making more in the future. as for what I'll be drawing, I mean, probably cookie run. maybe some ocs though, because I've got a few ideas. maybe things from my other interests? we'll see! I've also been sculpting a lot, actually...

and yeah, don't let the seriousness of this post fool you; I'll certainly still be reblogging dumb, non-serious posts like I always did. fixing up the look of the blog itself is enough professionalism I think 😵‍ also! I'll be letting up on all the trigger warning tags I had used in the past—scopophobia, animals, food, that kind of thing—because I've literally never been asked to tag anything like that. I mean, feel free to let me know if you do need things like those tagged, but, starting now, I'm going to take it a little easier with the tags. very common triggers (blood, abuse, so on) will still be tagged, of course.

I think that's it? yeah. nice to be here again, it's much more relaxed and individualized than twitter! I think I almost felt intimidated by tumblr for a long time since it almost feels like posts need to have more "purpose" than tweeting on twitter. but, like, I'm older and give less of a shit now. my house, I post silly thing.

---

thanks for reading if you did! here's your tl;dr:

I've deleted the majority of my old posts and revamped the look and theming of my blog to have a fresh start, to cut rotten ties, and to have a place that suits my current self. also so I don't have to be embarrassed every time I post.

no more megaman! in terms of art, it'll be cookie run and maybe some ocs, or whatever else. art won't be frequent, though, because I'm always busy with work and the crk wiki.

I'll be posting my backlog of completed art over the next few days.

I'm no longer tagging the more specific trigger tags like scopophobia (unless you really want me to???).

you should commission dani.

[karizard-ao3]

Clueless Teens is such a long story. Reading it, I was wondering if you had tidbits or ideas that you thought about but didn’t write in, or maybe written ideas that didn’t make it to the final version? Or even your your headcanons about it? Thanks!

Actually, yes! I do have a separate doc where I put deleted scenes I thought I might be able to revive and put in the fic later. I ended up writing and scrapping a lot of little bits that just didn't work, and even ended up having to redo part ten entirely, because what I had planned when i started writing Clueless Teens just wasn't right for the characters when I got to the end of it. They'd changed too much.

I've actually considered a few times whether to share any of the deleted scenes, so I'll take this as a sign and share one with you all now!

Deleted Scenes From Armin's House

(context: Armin is getting ready for his date with Sandra)

Armin had been concerned that it would be weird hanging out with Eren and Mikasa now that they were going out, but nothing had really changed except that they kept finding excuses to mention that they were together and Eren may or may not have superglued Mikasa’s palm to his, because they were pretty much always holding hands. They were both over at Armin's apartment now, helping him pick out what to wear for his date with Sandra the next evening. Armin really only wanted Mikasa's input, but Eren was the one sharing his opinions while Mikasa quietly looked through Armin's clothes.

"I mean, you can't go wrong with a button up, right?" said Eren, the boy who did not own a single t-shirt because his mommy did not buy them for him. 

"We're going to the arcade," said Armin. "Wouldn't a button up be a little formal?"

"Not if it's plaid!" said Eren. 

"I really just want to know which of my clothes make me look the most… You know. Hunky."

"Oh, I don't know then," said Eren.

"What do you think, Mikasa?" Armin asked. 

Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him. "Do you own anything besides cargo pants?"

"No," said Armin.

She sighed and went back to rummaging through his bureau. 

"What's wrong with my pants?" demanded Armin.

She just shook her head. 

"You should get some Dickies," said Eren.

"You don't even shop for your own clothes!" Armin protested. "Why should I listen to you?"

"I don't know. My mom just bought me some and they're really comfortable and I think they look pretty good on me," said Eren, sullenly.

"They do look good on you," said Mikasa. "You looked really hot when you wore them on Tuesday."

Eren turned bright pink. "So, yeah. I was just thinking you should get some Dickies," he said, a goofy smile spreading across his face.

Mikasa gave up on Armin's clothes and sat down on the edge of his bed. Eren plopped down next to her and took her hand. "I don't know how I'm supposed to pick an outfit for you when everything you own is fourteen variations of the exact same thing and then a random assortment of different sized suits," Mikasa said. "Why do you own so many suits?"

"My aunt has gotten married a lot," explained Armin. 

"Just wear whatever's clean and has the least wrinkles, I guess," said Mikasa. "Sorry I couldn't be more helpful."

Armin sighed. "Thanks for trying."

"So what are we going to do tomorrow?" Eren asked Mikasa. "I still have a bunch of gift cards. I can take you out to dinner."

"Don't you want to save them?" she asked.

Eren shook his head. "My grandma will just send me more. She wins them at Bingo."

"Dinner sounds good," said Mikasa. "Do you want to hang out at my house for a bit first? …Before my parents get home?” She batted her eyelashes coyly.

"Yeah," said Eren, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Mikasa giggled.

Armin was a little bit grossed out and a little bit jealous, but he didn’t say anything. He was mostly happy for them. They’d been dancing around their feelings for almost the entire school year, and now they were finally together. He wished that things had worked out a little bit more like that for him with Annie, but he guessed that was life. Besides, Sandra seemed really nice. She was a big Naruto fan and she liked playing video games, which were both huge plusses, she thought Armin was funny, and, most importantly, she wanted a boyfriend. Armin wanted to be a boyfriend. He’d gotten a bit of a taste during all of his not-dates with Annie, and he liked the feeling. 

***

(context: Eren and Mikasa are holding hands non-stop and Armin is a little fed up with them)

It would have been cute, Armin supposed, but Mikasa was supposed to be filming for her YouTube channel right now and it was hard to game one-handed. 

“Why can’t I play Animal Crossing?” Mikasa complained. “It’s so cute.”

“People don’t want to watch you play Animal Crossing,” said Armin, trying to be patient. “They want to watch you play Call of Duty.”

“What about Zelda?” said Mikasa as Armin rolled his eyes. Mikasa glared at him. “You don’t let me play the games I’m interested in.”

“You only like them because they look cute,” accused Armin. “You don’t know anything about the gameplay.”

“Well, yeah,” said Mikasa.

“Meanwhile, I’m working hard trying to get you fans.”

“Well, I want fans who like the same games I do,” grumbled Mikasa. 

Armin threw up his hands. “Okay, fine..”

***

(context: Eren and Mikasa are obnoxious and dumb)

"Oh, by the way," said Mikasa. "My boyfriend and I were wondering, if your date goes well, do you want to go on a double date together next weekend?"

"Your boyfriend?" said Armin, sarcastically. "Do I know him?"

Mikasa frowned at him, looking perplexed. "It's Eren," she said.

"Yeah, she's talking about me," said Eren, glaring aggressively. "Who did you think she was going out with?"

"Did we not tell you we got together, Armin?" asked Mikasa, looking worried. "It happened on Sunday."

"I'm literally holding her hand right now," Eren continued, building himself up into a rant. "I thought you were smart."

Armin cackled, interrupting Eren as he was preparing to really lay it on him. Eren clapped his mouth shut, looking flustered. "I'll ask Sandra what she thinks," Armin said.

"Okay," said Mikasa. "Just let us know."

"Hey, are you and Annie still friends?" Eren asked.

***

And that's it for now! I have to go to the dentist, so I just picked a section really fast. I hope you enjoyed it!