#most gender affirming thing I’ve ever done

[adamarks]

WAIT EVERYONE LOOK AT MY NEW TATTOO

[i-miss-breathing]

I started binding and- I didn’t realize just how much I hunched over?? It was a looottt. Like a tonnnn. I didn’t even realize I was doing that. No wonder my shoulders are sore 25/8.

Also I feel super hot with a flat chest I spent like 10 minutes in front of the mirror admiring myself

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling my boyfriend babygirl

let me clarify upfront: my boyfriend has never expressed discomfort with this, and says he likes it, so it’s potentially a non-issue, but it’s still bugging me. this has been ongoing for a little over a month and i feel like i’m going nuts. forgive me if any of the language i use here isn’t correct, i don’t know how else to get the ideas across - feel free to correct me if i could be saying things more inclusively. sorry that this is rambly also. small nsfw warning (nothing too explicit)

i (22m) have been dating my boyfriend (19ftm) for a little over a year. i’m cis and he is trans. admittedly i’m not like… the most well versed in trans issues but i love him more than life itself so i really try to be respectful of him. he was bullied pretty severely in highschool, not just for being trans but his gender identity was no small part of it, and even though he’s not super dysphoric day to day he’s definitely got some boundaries about it. there are certain compliments he likes and some that upset him (he doesn’t enjoy being called pretty or cute, typically) and he’ll snap at people for referring to him with feminine names or titles like “sis” “girl” etc even if it’s done jokingly.

the thing is he’s rarely, if ever, done that with me? i call him pretty and cute all the time (because he is) and he’s always been fine with it. admittedly the first time i did it i didn’t know it was something that usually bugged him, but he’s never said anything to me about it. everytime i have he’s seemed happy. he’s very outspoken, i pretty firmly believe if it was a problem he’d say something about it - again, he has no issues being firm about this boundary with any of his other friends and family. i was doing this before we started dating, so after we started dating it sort of bled into pet names

again, it was never something i asked him about expressly, but at some point i started calling him, like… princess, babygirl, etc. i only ever do this in private, when its just us or when i’m pretty sure only he can hear me, for a few reasons. my boyfriend doesn’t really pass (entirely his choice. he doesn’t bind his chest and he doesn’t want any gender affirming surgeries or hrt - again, he’s not super dysphoric day to day, he only gets upset when it’s commented on and he can bounce back from it pretty quickly) and again, it seems like it’s always made him happy. at the risk of tmi, it especially seems to make him happy in the bedroom, which is another reason i avoid dropping these pet names in front of anyone else. it’s private and i don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

so. to put this mildly. we went to a house party together recently and i got super smashed. it was a pretty big party so we were sticking by each other, and when you’re drunk and your partner is there… well, yeah. i was admittedly being pretty handsy. he didn’t tell me to knock it off or anything, he was reciprocating. at some point he started talking to his best friend from highschool (19mtf, i’ll call her Z) so i reigned myself in but i was definitely still drunk and horny and being clingy. i don’t know Z all that well - she and my boyfriend are very close but she can be pretty harsh, and i appreciate all she does for him so i like her, but we never talk unless he’s there. i’ve had maybe one one-on-one conversation with this woman ever.

they’re talking. i’m also there. i’m not trying to rush him but i definitely want to get home. the conversation lulls and i take the chance to ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave soon, and because i am aforementionedly drunk and horny i drop one of those earlier pet names. before he can respond to me, Z snaps at me. she says not to call him that and that i was being a creep - this alarms me and was kind of frustrating since i wasn’t even talking to her, and i recognize i’m not in a headspace to argue? with her? so i just tell my boyfriend to come find me when he wants to leave and i wander outside. he finds me about 5-10 minutes later and we head home.

it doesn’t get brought up again that night but a day or so later i text Z to ask her what she meant by me being a creep, because it was bugging me. she says that it’s obvious i’m fetishizing my boyfriend’s gender identity, that the fact i call him those things brings up major red flags, etc. i tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with it. she says it doesn’t matter and asks me why i want to call him those names in the first place, and posits that maybe i don’t actually want to be dating a boy - that i just like the idea of dating a boy and actually want to be with a woman. i’m gay, so this is VERY out of pocket to me. i tell her my boyfriend is not a woman and end the conversation there, but it DOES stick with me. so, very belatedly, i ask my boyfriend what he thinks of all this. i adore him so much and i hate hate hate the idea i could’ve been treating him like that, even unintentionally. he says the pet names never bothered him and he’s never felt like that, and that he’s fine with me specifically doing it because he trusts me and knows i don’t see him as a girl.

so, whatever. she has a problem but me and my boyfriend don’t. i try to move on, but the next time i see her she asks if i’ve apologized/reflected at all. i tell her no, because my boyfriend said i have nothing to apologize for and it seems like a non-issue. she is now avoiding me, refuses to be in the same room as me, and will declare to anyone who asks that she doesn’t want to be near someone who fetishizes trans people and she doesn’t feel safe around me. my boyfriend tries to talk to her but she insists i need to apologize at the bare minimum, but to who? even if i did apologize to my boyfriend i wouldn’t mean it and he wouldn’t want it. Z is his long-time best friend, i can’t exactly go the rest of our relationship just avoiding her. so i have no damn idea where to go from here.

on some level, i worry she’s right? i honestly don’t know why i started calling him those things. i think it started as a joke but i just kept doing it when i noticed he seemed to like it. in hindsight that was maybe shitty of me, but i trust him to tell me when something i do is making him uncomfortable. it’s not like i can do that over, but if he ever told me to stop i would. it’s definitely true that if you saw my boyfriend on the street you’d probably assume he’s a woman, but i’ve never been attracted to anyone who actually identifies as a woman before. i’ve only ever liked men, and no matter what he looks like he is a man. this whole situation did make me think about how i think about him, and i’ve realized that, like… i want to have kids with him one day, and ideally i’d like him to carry them. ideally, but id never make him. if he decided tomorrow that he wanted to medically transition and go the whole nine yards i’d support him. he’s my whole world, i just want him to be happy. but does the fact i want him to carry children prove her right?

i’m just. confused. i feel like i’m running myself in circles. Z knew him in highschool so she was there when bullying over his gender was at his worse, so i get why she’s protective. she’s also trans herself so she undoubtedly understands this stuff better than me. but i’ve heard it’s normal for trans people to have complicated relationships with gender, so it’s normal to be okay with gendered language from some people and not others (like only letting close friends use certain pronouns for you). i figure it’s like that, but it’s not my gender so… i don’t know. should i just stop calling him those pet names altogether, even though i know at this point he enjoys them, to be safe? am i an asshole for calling him those things in the first place / would i be an asshole if i kept doing it?

What are these acronyms?

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: okay now this actually is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE post that I’ve ever done ... I was literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this ...

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

SFW🌿

Wanda is such a sweet partner. She has so much love and she just needs a person to give her love to. What better idea than to have two people to love?

Nat felt hesitant at first. But got more comfortable with the idea when she saw you and Wanda interacting. 

You have Mummy issues? They’re healed. They’re gone.

Wanda is the type of person to call you out of the blue, even when you’re at work.   “I just wanted to hear your voice!”

Whereas if Nat called you out of the blue, you’d start to panic

The amount of support and encouragement in this relationship is out of this world. 

Whenever you have a bad day, there is always someone ready to make it better

You guys have favourite tv shows and movies that someone will put on randomly, even if no one is watching it. All three of you agree that it’s for comfort; background noise is a must in the household. These are: → Gavin & Stacey: a british tv show that Nat originally thought was ridiculous but now you all do the accents → Modern Family: Wanda LOVES this show, she likes the family dynamics and that they’re always there for one another → Peaky Blinders: This is Nat’s favourite, she loves Tommy Shelby. There are certain aspects of the show that she can connect with → Vikings: all three of you like this show! Especially Lagertha; all of you have a crush on her.  → Elf: yes, Wanda knows it’s a Christmas movie, but when she first saw it, she couldn’t stop. So Nat had to put a ban on it unless it’s near Christmas (which Wanda said was November 1st) → Mamma Mia: All three of you know the words to EVERY ABBA song. Once Yelena slept over and you had the movie playing and she became OBSESSED.  → Every single Harry Potter movie: Wanda sees herself as a Hufflepuff (is actually a Slytherin), Nat knows and accepts she’s a Slytherin → Practical Magic: comes on during the start of Autumn/Fall and stays playing until the 1st of November

Wanda is an amazing cook, especially when it comes to baking. She usually makes a different sweet at the beginning of the week. 

You literally don’t have to lock your house up because you’re protected by the two most formidable women on the planet 

Nat’s love language is acts of service and secretly words of affirmation. She absolutely DIES whenever you say “I’m proud of you” or “You did a great job!”

And Nat is always the one to fix tires, lightbulbs and get rid of spiders

You might think that Nat would be against living in a cottage, but she absolutely adores it. It was your idea, and Wanda fell in love with it

There are many pets in your household, Nat felt like they were liabilities at first. She wasn’t used to a breathing thing continuously dependent on her

Wanda was a tad unsure as well, but she folded almost instantly 

Your pets are:  Trix: the newest addition to the family, she’s a little black kitten who is absolute chaos. She runs up and down the hallways, doing those weird little cat stances. It makes all three of you laugh. Malachi (nicknamed Mal): An Irish wolfhound who had been at the pound for years and was about to be put down Alf: grumpy ol’ fluffy cat who likes to sleep in the sun all day every day. funnily enough, his favourite human is Nat. 

Alf bit Sam Wilson when he came to visit and he was so offended because usually animals LOVE him. 

There are so many panic buttons around the house in case it becomes a target 

Yes, you guys have your own rooms. But they’re basically where you keep your belongings. 

Nat works a lot at night, so it’s usually you and Wanda at home by yourselves. When it’s bedtime, you sleep together

Nat’s pet names for you are: ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’, ‘honey’

Wanda’s pet name for you is: ‘moja ljubav’ meaning ‘my love’. It’s in Serbian which is the official language in Sokovia, where she grew up.

Wanda hums a lot, it’s usually a lullaby from her childhood. It calms her down, especially when she’s worked up

Nat and Wanda like to slow dance in the kitchen. Wanda’s head gently leaning on Nat’s chest, their arms wound tightly around each other. The pots and pans on the stove completely forgotten. 

Yelena visits often! She loves Wanda’s cooking, talking with you, and getting to see her big sister. You always beg her to sleep over, and most of the time, she does!

Wanda’s love language is physical touch and quality time. She loves when you kiss her face; peppering small kisses over her nose, cheeks, chin, and forehead.

When Sam comes to visit, he usually brings Bucky and although he starts off as moody, he soon comes to love staying over. He and Nat have a lot in common and chat about their pasts. 

Wanda does your and Nat’s nails. She begs Nat to let her do pink but never wins 

As a joke you bought everyone matching pajamas, and although it was very funny, you all wear them unironically

Wanda uses her powers for a lot of things, and you absolutely love it. It’s so handy! If something breaks, Wanda can fix it, if you’re out and guys are harassing you, she has the ability to LITERALLY CONTROL THEIR MINDS. 

Nat is the least likely to hold grudges, then you, then Wanda...

You’ve all decided that you want to travel the world together. Nat may not appear as excited as you and Wanda (she’s already traveled the world, but that was for missions.)

Wanda wants to go to Disneyland. Can you imagine Nat and Wanda with the mickey ears on?!

Theme Song: 

Gimme All Your Love by Alabama Shakes

Relationship Tropes: 

  ✧ Moon (Nat) x Sun (You) x Eclipse (Wanda)

  ✧ Tragic Past x Ray of Light (this goes for everyone)

  ✧ The Impulsive (Wanda) x The Hyperactive (You) x The Unheeded Voice of Reason (Nat)

[badchoicesworld]

omg hi i love your blog so much!! could you please write a story where the reader is trans and healing from surgery but his suit is making it uncomfortable and they’re on a mission together as spider-people and reader’s chest hurts and he has to explain to his boyfriend noir that he’s trans and shows him his scars? :) fluff and wholesomeness ensue etc etc

thank you!!

spider-noir finds out you’re transmasc on a mission !

omg tysm ur so sweet !! so very happy to do this for you, my friend !! hope you don’t mind i’ve done it in this format

im assuming you’re from a more progressive dimension in comparison to Noir, something more modern or even a little advance

that being said, if you ever find yourself recovering from surgery, let your body heal !! and don’t try to be spider-man at home plz

warnings: none, just noir being the most oblivious man alive and then being a golden retriever boyfriend

requests are: open !

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

so, let’s set the scene rq. you’ve finally managed to undergo the gender affirming surgery that you’ve been entitled to your entire life, all’s well and it’s incredibly accessible (one can only dream)

but, you’re also your dimensions one and only spider-man.

naturally, you rationalise that oh dear god what will the multiverse do without me ? you’ve gotta get back out there as soon as you can, even if it means popping open, like something busting at the seams.

tight spandex, whatever accessories you’ve got on, supporting your whole weight in one arm while you swing from place to place isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing in the world now, is it ? so uncomfortable that it absolutely effects your performance, one would assume

but, since this is something that you’ve went through independently and without sharing with those you find dear, it was only a matter of time before Miguel sends you on your merry way to carry out some kind of mission with your dearest: spider-noir.

now lets be honest, Noir’s probably clueless when it comes to trans issues and top surgery. not in an arrogant way but I imagine his reality isn’t exactly caught up with the times yet.

that being said i don’t think he’s never heard of them, considering he’s been around more modern spider-people and has likely been exposed to some kind of media about it

still, when you two are out on your mission together and he notices how much you’ve been awkwardly and as discreetly as possible pulling at your suit, he’s probably gonna side eye you a bit until he recognises the discomfort in your face too.

i imagine Noir would rather not see his boyfriend in discomfort for long at all, so pulls you aside into whatever’s nearest- an alley, anything for a little privacy

gentle as ever, examining the suit that you’ve been tugging at all day long while gently patting you down to see if there’s anything that he can identify

probably firing an ungodly amount of questions like “what’s wrong?” in several variants

most likely makes some kind of reference about your tugging that you’ll never understand, slang from his era. is probably assuming that you’ve washed your suit wrong and is in fact suggesting that while he pats you down, but mumbles about it not being pilly so is at a loss

finds nothing, but hears the clear hiss of discomfort when he pats the sides of your torso that are still healing.

you’ve gotta face the music someday, right ? but this is your boyfriend, and Noir is nothing but accepting and open minded to new things

so, deny all you may at first and insist everything okay. your suits just a little uncomfortable today, you say ? yeah after that hiss, he’s not buying it.

Noir’s gonna coax the real answer out of you if you’re not already willing to share right off the bad, he wants to understand you.

Reminding you of his trust, calling you as many pet names that you’re comfortable with. “Come on, sweetheart. Honey, who am I gonna tell?” super persuasive, who can resist the man ?

only, and ONLY when you’re feeling secure and comfortable enough to share this part of yourself with him will things still make absolutely zero sense to Noir

absolutely clueless. if you say “i’m trans” as simply as that my guy is just stood there not knowing what kind of riddle this is, but he knows this much: he doesn’t know wtf that means. trans…ition ? i mean yeah technically

if you go the step further right off the bat and show him your scars, Noir’s colour blindness is straight up preventing him from noticing the subtle difference in your scar tissue and healthy skin.

he’s stood there with his eyes as narrow as a thread while those cogs turn away in his head. until you finally explain it, Noir has forgotten his own name

actually explain it to him, and Noir’s perception of you just does not budge. his thought process is just “boyfriend is still boyfriend, good” after you’ve explained to him all about being born in the wrong body and all that

admittedly does not understand that concept. poor baby can’t fathom the idea that you’re anything but what you’ve told him- you’re a boy, says you, therefore you are a boy !

cosmetic surgeries however were gaining traction during the 20’s and 30’s thanks to war, skin graphs and all that

naturally, gobsmacked after it clicks in his head that you’ve managed a mission after surgery considering his dimensions surgery is a lot less advance

will now not let you swing and insist he’ll take care of the mission. if there’s ever a point where a fist fight breaks out, Noir’s throwing insults like usual, references no one understand because it’s the 30’s and says something along the lines of “my boyfriends watching, you better make me look good” before absolutely thundercunting a car at them

will let you walk independently but is happy to carry you- this includes swinging

if you’re still uncomfortable in your suit it’s incredible how fast this gentleman is wrapping you up in his coat if you wanna tie the top half of your suit around your waist. Still not ideal, but it’s less friction.

when you two get back to whatever you both call home together, Noir is likely to be super delicate with the actual subject and is kinda treading on eggshells. figured that, you never talked about it before, would you be okay talking about it now ?

still has a little bit of a hard time understanding the importance of gender affirmations since you are simply a boy to him, why do you need to be reminded ?

would probably be really sheepish about asking if he could touch your scars, since he can’t see them all too well. With your permission and ideally when they’re less irritable and sore, he’ll like to trace his thumbs over the scars as gently as possible with his gloveless hands. May not understand the exact significance of them, but he appreciates all of you regardless

is probably amazed at the advancements in surgery

"honey? i may not understand, but i'm trying" he loves you so much

we learned from the first movie that Noir is an extremely open-minded person who’s willing to learn about new things (like the rubix cube) and he’s determined to understand. he wants to understand you, even if just a little bit more

won’t tell a soul about you being trans. honestly forgets a lot of the time, actually. not out of arrogance, it’s just as simple as you’ve said you’re a boy, so that’s how he sees you. that being said, it’s hard for him to identify when people are intentionally transphobic because it just doesn’t make sense to him. it’s obvious you’re a boy, idiot

but when it clicks, the guy can’t control his temper “NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND, YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE TRANSPHIBIANS!” close enough, Noir. we love you.

yeah anyway, is willing in that moment to go to jail for you

show him the trans flag, watch him crumble as he guesses the colours

overall, clueless but supportive nonetheless and loves you unconditionally.

when he does eventually learn for you and it finally sticks, he starts to make a conscious effort to start asking people their pronouns through an incredibly rigid and rehearsed dialogue tree you helped him come up with. uses his lil detective notepad to keep track of peoples preferred names and pronouns with little doodles of the people so he can differentiate

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i hope this is okay, i'm not massively confident with my noir capabilities

[rabbitsrams]

I see a lot of girl!dad and boy!dad schlatt HCs out and I absolutely love them to bits and pieces!

But what about queer-kid!dad schlatt HCs? Like I see some brief of mentions of the kids being gay and schlatt being supportive of that but not really much else.

Like what if his son is into girly things like barbie, makeup, dresses, and is a little bit more sensitive than your average manly man. He’d ofc be sad that his son isn’t interested in baseball or most/any of his machine stuff, but ultimately he just wants his son to be happy and if that means being somewhat of a girl!dad to his son then so be it!

And he’d do the same thing with his tomboy daughter, but he’d be pretty excited if his daughter’s into baseball and/or his machine stuff.

And if his comes out as queer, I feel he will be incredibly supportive… like to that point of it being embarrassing.

His kid brings home his same-sex or gender nonconforming partner? Be sure that he WILL bring out the gun and do vague threats towards the ‘lucky’ kid. Especially if they’re a guy or a masc leaning kid.

Heartbreak? He will be there for every one, wiping away every tear that pours down his baby’s face. Even if his son’s traditionally masc, he’d still do it because he’s doesn’t want his son to bottle up his feelings like he did when he was younger.

If his kids is somewhere in the aroace kingdom? He’d be supportive of that too, I’d feel that if his kid’s on the more extreme end of the aroace spectrum… he’d be more relieved then anything because that’s one less thing that he’d have to worry about.

Kid’s now somewhere under the trans umbrella? You bet you’re bottom butts that he’s gonna get ANYTHING that his precious angel needs! Wardrobe changes? They’re stocking up on all of the kid’s preferred clothing like it’s the fucking apocalypse! Pronouns changes? Will contently correct oneself until he gets it right! Puberty blockers? Gotcha covered! Hrts? Already on it’s way! Top surgeries? Bottom surgeries? Any other gender-affirming surgeries? It’s scheduled as soon as they turned the legal to do so and as soon as the kid shows interest in surgeries! Not interested in any surgeries or hormones? Still will love his baby no matter what they do.

And if there’s bigotry or bigots out there? He will fight everyone of bigots tooth and nail if it means his kid will be happy (even if it means getting the gun out).

And god forbid his kid, HIS FLESH AND BLOOD!!! Is ever HATE-CRIMED!!! He will rain the fury of a thousand suns upon those idiots who decide to hate-crime HIS BABY!!! If he knew the identities of those unfortunate people… let’s just say he wouldn’t be so civil with those ‘people’…. and they’d probably end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

ya…

Anyways! I said my piece here, so feel free to add anything but I think I’ve went over the most important things. -🍓🫐anon

hey there! wow, this is amazing. so nuanced and i so agree! he'd love his kid no matter what. i loved reading this it was super sweet and captures schlatt's essence so very well. well done nonie <3

i'm not queer (i'm a cishet ally) so i'm not really sure if it's my place to continue on this or speak on queer kids' experiences, but i def want to boost queer voices regarding this topic (or anything related to it too ofc). if any LGBTQ+ writers want to continue this, hit my line! tag me in anything or send me an ask and i can read & boost it <3

but i do wanna add a bit to the girly things son and tomboyish daughter part bc that was my brother and i's experience: we kinda had a mix of everything lmao, i was a bit of a tomboy and he was more sensitive and not rly a "manly man" (gender roles who)

his daughter being super into old video games from his childhood and loving the consoles. schlatt being OVERJOYED and playing with her. she gets better at the game than he does lmfao (i'm just imagining mario kart wii idk why)

if she's more crafty with fixing up cars/machines/etc he'd love to help her out. buys her parts she needs and when she's done he's showing it off to everyone

and like i said before, schlatt 100% would go to all of his daughter's games if she was on a sports team ofc

and if his son wanted to get dolls or other girly toys he'd get it for him in an instant and even play with him!!! (my brother would always play dolls w/ me hehe)

also you teaching him how to do makeup (if u know how ofc) if he wants to learn <33

you and your son doing makeup on schlatt and him looking AMAZING. he's SO proud that his son made him look so good :D

lowkey though gender roles don't exist in this household, as long as the kid is happy then schlatt's happy <3

[kdinjenzen]

Above all else I think becoming a Werewolf VTuber has to be one of the most gender affirming things I’ve ever done as a trans woman.

[hms-no-fun]

This is probably gonna be a longer and potentially more spicy ask than usual so apologies for that. I've been reading through the new chapters as they've been released (great stuff by the way) and I've noted the frequent switching back and forth of jade/silverbark going by her original name (jade) or her moniker/title (silverbark/harbinger silverbark ) depending on who she is currently talking to, the nature of her relations with the person and the context of the conversation. One example being her last conversation with karkat at the end of the latest chapter. This along with the nature of deunistic radiation you mentioned previously and the theme of divergence/character divergence throughout this series so far, makes me wonder if eventually we may reach a point where she drops her original name and goes solely by her moniker/title (at least for a while anyway).

i've got two responses to this. the first is

but the second is a bit more credulous. only a bit though. yes, godfeels has given multiple characters the opportunity to change their names, and this is partially a result of my desire to get away from the iconography of homestuck so that we can focus more on unpacking the themes of homestuck while telling a more “original” story. but i’d caution against the assumption that changing one’s name is the natural endpoint of self-actualization in godfeels.

is silverbark plural? is jade a mask she puts on around other people? is what we see in A1 the code-switching of an autist or a manipulator? these are excellent questions to be asking! but on the matter of names as such, let’s remember that silverbark is thousands of years old. a name change and gender realization is one thing for 22-year-old june egbert because she’s young and inexperienced. we see “june” as the hatched egg, the evolved form, the destination. but what if we fast-forwarded another hundred years, and she’s had all that time to live and be comfortable in her own body. would she remain rooted in transfemininity? would she still feel like “june”? does one break their gender or identity once, and no more?

among the many themes in its bucket, godfeels 3 is about change. changing people, changing times, changing expectations, changing lives and homes and friendgroups... and i’ve lived long enough to see the barest jagged tip of the truth that no two people “grow up” in quite the same way. “growing up” isn’t a static thing either, it isn’t affixed to age and it’s not a one-way street nor is it a bridge you can only cross once. i tried to show this in microcosm with dare in ch8, how they keep having life-affirming epiphany after life-affirming epiphany, only to backslide and start over from a place of only minimal progress. people can get better, and then they can backslide, and then they can get better again, and on and on, and nothing is ever done until it’s dead.

all of which is to say that i’m not interested in repeatedly showing the same types of change when i’ve got such a wildly weird cast of traumatized blorbos to poke and prod at. if june’s name is her planting a flag in her own identity, then perhaps to silverbark names and titles are a means of maintaining the area around that flag? what is “mary” to kanaya, what is “risk,” what is “dare” except a shield put up around something that needs protecting? or that’s worth protecting? for different reasons, to different ends. it’s all relative.

lastly, i would also caution against looking at a character changing their name and going, “ah, denexustic radiation!” not because it’s necessarily wrong (at least according to what VV said in the ch8 epilogue), but because it’s the boring lab-coated science officer answer to a profound philosophical question. which, you know, isn’t really an answer at all. there may be times when denexus is the culprit, or at least partially, but in most cases it’s the difference between wearing a glow in the dark radon watch for a few months when you were a kid, vs airsurfing in the radiation cloud of the chernobyl nuclear disaster.

anyway, i’ll leave us on a passage from the homestuck epilogues that is very important to me:

[flowercrowncrip]

hey echo, i'm really relieved you made it through the weekend and i'm so excited for your merfolk costume! i've always loved swimming and mer and, since becoming a wheelchair user myself, i've found imagery of mers using mobility aids creatively inspiring. i may have to try my hand at crocheting an eel or shark tail blanket for halloween

what i'm really writing in to say is that i had surgery a few weeks ago, intersex reconstructive surgery (stage one) under the "guise" of gender affirming surgery (for insurance purposes!) and i haven't been able to use my wheelchair at all during recovery. the farthest i can walk is to-from the restroom, but that's very dangerous, painful, and exhausting. i may need a revision to allow me to ever comfortably and safely use my chair again - this is, in part, the fault of my surgeons for not also consulting with a durable medical equipment specialist pre-op/providing one for me to consult with, but i also failed to opt out of a choice that was bundled into the surgical package normally and, for me, is FULLY cosmetic and not essential to function.

i'm really upset with myself for making the best choice for my health and mobility, and upset with my surgeons for not properly advising me as a patient. this is fixable however, i just... have to tolerate a reduced quality of life, reduced mobility, increased risk to my health, and of course the expected risks of a person with severe rheumatoid arthritis undergoing further surgery. i talk to my surgeons this week about revision! however, i was wondering if you had any advice for dealing with... feeling so frustrated with yourself over things like this? it is so, so unlike me to make such an impactfully negative choice regarding my health and mobility, and i can't help but feel stupid. my therapist (who is a trans woman herself) is very sympathetic, but isn't chronically ill, and doesn't fully grasp how impactful this is. i can't even go outside... ):

thank you so much echo, sending you all my love

That sounds like you’re going through a lot and that it’s very raw and emotional right now, which is totally understandable.

Every disabled person I know has made decisions that have harmed them. And I really mean everyone. Sometimes we don’t know what the consequences will be, sometimes it feels like the benefits will outweigh the risks, sometimes we’re pressured into making the decision that ultimately hurts us, sometimes we don’t realise how bad it will be, there’s so many reasons

I’ve certainly done it – in small ways that lead to temporary flares and in big ways that have permanently changed my body. I’ve also made decisions that could have impacted me really badly and came away, by pure luck, without anything bad happening.

I definitely have regrets over some of those choices, but I have gotten to the point where I don’t hate my past self for making them. I hope that with time you can get there too

Absolutely nobody goes through life without making choices they later regret. As disabled people we’re unlucky that a lot of our choices have higher stakes than non disabled people, but we’re still human and we can’t expect to be perfect and always get things right. And that’s okay

It doesn’t sound to me like you chose to be unable to use your wheelchair, it sounds like you chose to undergo surgery you thought would improve your life in different ways. A lot of people – most likely me included – would make that same choice. And I’m sure there are many possible worlds where you made the same choice and could still use your wheelchair safely.

I know (albeit through very different circumstances) how devastating it is to be without a wheelchair for longer periods with no clear end in sight and I offer you all the sympathy I can. I hope you can find things that bring you comfort and interest in less than ideal circumstances. I don’t know if you want advice about coping with being unable to get out, so I won’t offer any here but I’m happy to share what helped me if you ever want to know.

I wish you all the best with recovery and whatever your next steps are – whether they include revision or not.

On a less serious note I would absolutely love to see a crocheted eel or shark tail if you make one! They both sound amazing! (Or any craft projects – I love seeing what people create)

I’m the same with being inspired by how much disability comes into the stories of merfolk – chronic pain, speech loss and mobility aid use are so tied up in them that there’s so much room for disabled imagination. (And also queer imagination!)

That’s definitely a huge part of why it’s my pride outfit, and I’m really looking forward to wearing it out. I got a rainbow bubble machine today to add some extra fun to it all!

Sending you so much love in return 💜

[queermatters]

Starting HRT

Around this time last year, I went I ordered the first piece of clothing I ever wore that pushed my comfort zone but also affirmed my gender: my euphoria hoodie. It was a thick, bright bright pink unisex hoodie. I ordered it expecting to hate how I looked in it and to send it back, but even if I did like it, that I wouldn’t leave the house with it on. It arrived days later. I tried it on… instant euphoria. Then I casually left my dorm to meet with a friend at the library.

What felt like such a big deal in the run up, ended up being nothing, but better yet, a euphoria inducing experience.

The year that would follow would be a myriad of unimaginable challenges for me to surpass with respect to my transition. Everything felt impossible. I wasn’t even sure I wanted HRT, but paradoxically felt so drawn to it, and even slightly envious of the results my friends had got off of being on it.

I had my first private appointment with a psychiatrist to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis in September. My endocrinology appointment was booked soon after for the 20th of December. In this liminal space, my transition felt weird. I had said to my psychiatrist that:

I’ve explored all the avenues I can explore socially for my transition. I keep looking to medical transition for answers. The things I want, fat redistribution, change in emotional landscape, softer skin etc, can’t be achieved through social changes alone. There’s more to be had, and I feel HRT will help me get that.

He agreed and diagnosed me. The appointment on the 20th was spent discussing the different forms of HRT I could go on, and what my care plan would look like. After the appointment, my endo send a link to an online pharmacy to buy my HRT from. I ordered it and it arrived 2 days later, just before Xmas.

In the days running up to the patches arriving, I was so SO excited. But also apprehensive. That anxious part of my brain wanted to overthink everything: “have you thought about this enough? What if it makes you feel sick? What if you get fatigue? What if what if what if”. I’ve spent nearly 3 years on this gender exploration journey, spiralling in and out of doubt, I cannot be accused of not thinking about the step I was taking next enough. That’s when a dear friends words echoed through my head: “What if it all goes OK?” .

The patches arrive. I lay in bed, slowly waking up, nervously excited for putting on the patch, while simultaneously being autistically anxious about the unknown. What would it be like? How will I feel? How long will it take to notice? What if it all goes wrong?

I open the box. There they are. I grab my 50mcg patch, holding it with anxious anticipation. I pace the house for 30 minutes before tearing it open. Now I would need to put it on.

My mom arrived back home, and being so lucky to have such a supportive parent, but also one who has also been on HRT, I asked for her help putting it on. I could have figured it out, but given that I’m doing this privately for now, I can’t afford to waste any!

She showed me how and I managed to get it applied correctly. I felt fine. The sky didn’t fall in. I didn’t give off a blood curdling scream and drop dead. My nerves lifted and I just felt… normal.

I go out for lunch and return home with a sense of calmness over me. I didn’t know if it was because of the HRT or because I had finally done something I had been so anxious about.

It’s been 4 days now. That blanket of calmness still envelops me for the most part. For the first time in over a whole year, that nagging sense of unease and dysregulation has lifted a little. The sharper emotions of stress and anxiety have changed in quality a little. Things feel ever so slightly more mellow.

Is 4 days too few to experience any changes? Probably. Especially without a T blocker (for now). But I’m proud of myself. This time last year, I was scared of those around me knowing who I really am. Now? I’m fully out to those around me, and I’m on HRT. I’m excited for the future and to see the changes come round.

To any trans folx reading this who want to go the medical route: know that you’ll figure it out eventually. If you don’t feel sure, remember that you’re allowed to feel that way, and that one way or another, you’ll find your path. Mine has just started, and yours soon will too. Until then, please take care of yourself. It sometimes may not feel like it, but you deserve compassion and patience while you figure this out 💖

[marlesisdumb]

So apparently I, as one of the very few not terminally online people on twitter/tumblr have to make this post. So then, let’s talk about keffals. This post is going to assume you already know the situation with her getting doxxed and harassed. If you don’t there are numerous posts/ videos on the subject. let’s start off with the basics. No one deserves to get doxxed. “bUt sHe sAiD sHe wAnTeD oThEr pEoPlE tO gEt dOxXeD” if you actually watch the clip in which she says this, it is blatantly obvious that she was joking. Is it a good joke? Fuck no. Did she deserve to get doxxed and harassed for it? Also fuck no. Are you all so god damn brain dead that if someone makes a bad joke you doxx and harass them?

Next, the “s3xu41 pr3454101” claim. This claim is incredibly baseless. For all I can tell what happened is she had a clearly 18+ part of her discord server and *allegedly* minors got onto it. As a minor, on the internet, while there maybe should have been a better screening process, that is the fault of those minors. *To all my fellow kids, if something is 18+ and you go on it and see something or something happens on there that is 18+, don’t bitch and moan about it, you went there while knowing it was 18+*. This is also CLEARLY a transphobic dogwhistle. I even saw someone say that it’s interesting that she left Canada while her hard drives are being held by the Canadian police. This isn’t true, she got all of her stuff back as the claim was clearly faked. Now onto the doxxing, a bunch of people have said that keffals changed her story. A. That’s what trauma does to the mind and B. We know for certain that it happened as the police chief himself has come out and apologized for it and keffals has shown the evidence bags and more.

Now let’s focus on the good she has done. On top of being a prominent trans politic streamer, she has shown me and many other disillusioned trans people that we can organize and fight against people who are attacking the community. She has also shut down kiwifarms which will save the lives of possibly hundreds of trans/neurodivergent people. She has also fought for gender affirming care which again directly impacted me as I have friends in Texas where gender affirming care is being made illegal. Now let me tell y’all why shutting down kiwi farmsis so vital to trans women like me. I’ve had people attempting to dox me before. I was a prominent skinseeder for the past few years. I had harassment for MONTHS and so did the rest of the mods on @.dusksnothere. It caused us to shut down the account and abandon ship. While (thank fucking god) kiwifarms never seemed to get involved (to my knowledge) it was an ever looming threat that caused most of the mod team on that account to leave the internet forever. Especially as this was during the harassment campaign of multiple other trans people and we were an account of 5 trans people posting leftist content online. This lifted a weight off my shoulders I didn’t know was there.

in conclusion, thanks keffals for fighting the fight, and please for the love of god, do research before you accept things as fact especially when trans people who are being attacked and silenced are involved.

[mincedgirlic]

listen ok im a cis girl who just started doing drag and i cannot emphasize enough how wonderful and affirming my whole experience has been. i have spent my life feeling like i wanted desperately to be a girl but was always doing it wrong and doing drag brings a feeling of joyful womanhood that literally nothing else has done before. it makes me feel happy to be a girl. it makes womanhood feel like a gift instead of a curse. the way drag queens play with gender and expression is the most beautiful inspiring thing i’ve ever seen and i am so thankful to get to be a part of that, even a small one. and i am so thankful to be part of the queer community because i have never felt safer to explore my personality and my gender than i do with my brows blocked and my face painted. the moral of the story is that being gay on the internet is great but being gay in real life is even better

[mitamicah]

So, what are you guys’ opinion on socially changing your name more than once? 

More under the line

I have gone by Marco now privately for a year and five months and openly since January. At the same time I have had days where I’ve felt that this name actually doesn’t suit me as much as I want it to, and when people call me Marco, I will not feel a strong connection to it anymore? like the first times I heard it spoken out loud, the euphoria was real; now I react because it is my name but half the time I feel at most as I am an excuse when having to explain why my name sounds so masculine when I am nonbinary.

So yeah I have been experimenting with a few other names, today finding the name Dominique. It seems very fitting. It is gender neutral, I can get it in my country without having to sign a contract saying I feel like the ‘other gender’ (Denmark has gender specific name list so you cannot choose a name lets say if you have a feminine ID but the name is considered masculine; then you can only choose a feminine or unisex name - don’t ask), and when I look myself in the mirror I can definitely picture the person looking back as a Dominique. It seems to fit both to the days I feel a bit too feminine and the days I feel good and masculine. It might be the newness of it, yet it seems it feel more or less right. 

Yet at the same time I am scared. I have already done so much when first changing my name socially. I’ve come out publicly (on facebook), changed my e-mail to fit it and ordered a name tag for my new apartment - I finally have gotten my mother to call me by something other than M (for context: Marco and my birthname both started with M). I have written Marco on job applications and introduced me by this name for ten months. I think my biggest worry is that if I figure out that Dominique is actually a better fitting name for me, that this will be seen as I am indecisive, unreliable and fleeting. After all I couldn’t even keep a name for a whole year, what else am I unsure about? Maybe they’ll start questioning if I really am nonbinary like my imposter syndrome already make me do on a daily basis myself. Maybe they won’t believe that it is worth affirming my gender or my name anymore since who knows who long I’ll keep it this time? 

It might also be even worse of a change since Dominique is farther away from my birthname and initials than Marco ever was. My mother will probably take forever to learn it and might not even want to put in the same effort thinking I might just change it again. I even fear that people at my annual summer camp (aka the one space I have always trusted people to have my back when being my authentic, weird, autistic self), will start loosing faith in my words since I just only came out to them this year as Marco and if the first thing I tell them next year is ‘oh I go by Dominique now’ they’ll be even more confused and I’ll loose their trust, I am not sure I can handle losing my one space I have ever felt safe enough to be myself. 

Maybe this Dominique thing will blow over within a few days: I’ll figure out it was a fluke and go back to Marco - but maybe it will not and then what? Would it be alright to try it out maybe with a small amount of people at first and then when it feels right tell the public? 

For context I haven’t legally changed my name yet (thank God) so it is only socially I’ve been going by another name. 

TLDR  is this: I had one name I kind of felt fit me but now I am questioning it and want to try another; any other people tried something similar, and what’s your experience? 

[hedgewitchgarden]

It’s Pride Month and I’m Scared

 Jessi-James Grey

Posted on June 23, 2022

When I decided to write something about Pride month again this year, I struggled to decide how I wanted to approach the topic; I have written quite a bit about Queer topics, ranging from coming out and celebration to solemn remembrance, to the importance of chosen family, community elders, and (a snippet of) our history. In the hellscape that was 2020, I wrote about reigniting “true spirit of Stonewall and reclaim Pride as a rebellion against the oppression of ALL of our intersecting communities, rather a corporate-sponsored party.” Each time I’ve written on these topics, I’ve outed myself—explicitly or implicitly—to the Sweatpants & Coffee community and I’ve often disclosed aspects of my personal experiences as a Queer person; in fact, this community has witnessed me evolve as I have realized and began to embody my genderqueer identity.

What I haven’t done yet: express my fear. That fear has grown over the last year and I need to acknowledge it.

Not long ago, I was browsing Facebook—like you do—and I came upon an ad for a trans-owned clothing company. I clicked through and began browsing that website and a shirt caught my eye: a black muscle tee—absolutely my aesthetic—emblazoned with the words “visibility is vulnerability.” Maybe I hadn’t been able to find those words because of the extent to which I overthink things but, upon reading that shirt, it clicked: that is the most accurate and succinct way to articulate my growing unease. I have made myself very visible online and in meatspace and, as the political and cultural landscape has become increasingly hostile to marginalized communities and identities of all kinds, that means I’ve made myself quite vulnerable too. And, as is the case with all kinds of vulnerability, it’s scary.

In addition to being Queer, I am also chronically ill, which means I interact with medical institutions A LOT. Most of those interactions are with a major university medical system. I’ve recently had the pleasure of contacting that medical system’s chief audit and compliance officer to lodge a formal complaint against one of the clinics I attend regularly because they continually, even after repeated correction, misgendered me and used my birth name—mind you, they have ways of noting both in my record and this is a medical system that, supposedly, offers gender affirming care. As I put it in my letter: “I am, during visits to the office, routinely addressed by my birth name and referred to as “Miss” and “ma’am”—most embarrassingly (and, in an increasingly hostile social climate, potentially dangerous) for me, in the waiting room in front of other patients.” Living in the home of the infamous HB2 “bathroom bill” and a shiny, brand new “don’t say gay” bill, the potential threat to my safety is real—though it is mitigated by my whiteness, which is important to acknowledge because visibly Queer and gender expansive BIPOC are much more at risk of discrimination and violence than I am.

I was contacted by both Patient Services and the clinic about my complaint. Patient Services apologized and said they were taking my complaint seriously. So seriously, in fact, that they shared my letter directly with the clinic which is great because now they are aware of what exactly the problematic behavior is. It scared the ever-loving crap out of me, though, because they know who made the complaint and, while they may have easily deduced that it was me just because of the nature of the complaint, I am visible. For what it’s worth, someone from the clinic called me to apologize and I was told they were taking corrective action. I suppose I’ll find out if that is actually the case when I go to my next appointment at the end of next month.

Since the death of our mom last year, I’ve tried to be very diligent about visiting my sister quarterly(-ish). That means that I regularly make a ten-hour drive through The South. It’s a beautiful drive, if you don’t count the two enormous Confederate battle flags I have to drive past—seriously, they’re two of the largest I have ever seen. I pass through the Great Smoky Mountains and gorgeous, rolling countryside. This last trip, the weather was perfect and I drove the whole way with my windows down and my music up and it was just pure joy… until I had to make a stop somewhere. I make sure that I only stop in populated areas or at large gas stations and truck stops with camera surveillance and more staff than just one person at a register. I do this because I know how I look, I know that I don’t pass as cishet anymore—I am visible and, therefore, vulnerable—and I live with the threats of “corrective r*pe” made against me since high school hanging over my head.

Visibility is desperately important for all marginalized groups. Visibility is necessary to fight against the willful ignorance of the white supremacist, Christian dominionist, ableist, cishet patriarchy. Oppressive cultures are not going to acquiesce to the righteous demands of marginalized groups for our safety, civil rights, and the respect due us as human beings if they’re not regularly confronted with our existence. And though visibility is vulnerability, it is safer for some of us to be visible than it is for others—as I mentioned before, my whiteness insulates me to a degree, so does my being child-free. It is important to me that, despite how scary being truly visible can be, I use the relative safety that my privilege affords me to be seen, to protest, to demand, to fight because there are so many in my community who can’t without much greater risk to their personal safety.

So, here I am before you, this Pride month. Visible. Vulnerable. Scared. Righteous.

And demanding that you look past the glitter and rainbows and chants that “love is love” and “love wins” to see that Queer and trans folks are in danger. As I write this, we’re only half way through Pride month and, already, there have been numerous threats of violence against, dangerous disruptions of, and narrowly-avoided attacks at Pride events across the country—all of which have been organized—not just random mob violence. This is not something y’all can write off as “lone wolf” situations. I need y’all who “identify as” allies to stop calling yourselves allies and actually be allies: be aware of the political climate; participate in state and local politics, which is where so many of the dangerous, anti-Queer and trans policies are being made, AND object to those policies before they become law; call out the stochastic terrorism of churches, politicians, and influential community members and organizations that all but guarantees violence against trans and Queer folks.

It is Pride month. And I am frightened.

[meeowdrey]

Nathan Explosion SFW and NSFW Relationship Headcanons

Not much Dethklok stuff out there to feed my perverted mind, so i guess I’ll provide some food to this dead fandom :p. Hope you like it! Warnings: Sexually explicit content, mostly gender neutral but mentions reading have boobies at the end

Anyway, hope you enjoy :3!!!

SFW:

-Nathan is a very possessive man. It’s pretty goddamn adorable. The first time you two went on a date, he took you back to Mordhaus.. instant regret on his part. He doesn’t know what was worse, Toki’s unintentionally adorable dialogue that sent you into a fit of giggles, or Skiwsgaar’s not so subtle flirting. If you couldn’t already tell from the constant uncomfortable “hm” and “ergh’s” coming from his side.. he’s pissed the fuck off. Expect him to be very quiet after, but don’t think it’s because he’s mad at you! 

-Nathan, much like the rest of the band (excluding Toki), isn’t very open about his feelings. When the two of you became an item, you had to teach him it was alright to express his emotions and that it was actually very healthy doing so. Despite his blank stare and occasional mumbles during your explanation, inside he felt the connection between the two of you grow stronger and it led to him making many awkward and adorable attempts at trying to ask for help. “Um, hey babe. Can I, uh, talk to you?”… “I don’t feel my best right now..”

-A lot of the things the band would usually call “not brutal” in a relationship, Nathan probably enjoys on the low. Cuddling, receiving words of affirmation, sensual love making? Oh yeah, he loves it. The first time you realized it, you told him he was the most gorgeous man alive while stroking a strand of his hair. You could literally feel his heart rate increase as well as see his eyes shift to the side. If you’re lucky, you’ll hear an occasional mumbled “thank you”. 

-Cuddling with Nathan is definitely a treat. His favorite position is the one where his arms envelop your upper body, holding you close to his chest while your head stays nuzzled in the crook of his neck. His long, dark locks are beautifully sprawled across his and your face. Another favorite of his is when he lays his head on your chest. Nathan described being able to hear your heartbeat as “brutal”. 

-Nathan enjoys the contrast between his and your body. He’s a pretty tall dude with a stiff and broad form. Despite the pudge he has around his stomach, he still has some pretty toned arms and legs. Your body is much softer than his and has dips and various curves that he doesn’t. Those calloused fingers of his like to adventure, exploring across the softness of the skin on your neck all the way down to your hips.

-Unintentionally embarrasses you. Talks about how “hot” you are to the guys and even goes as far to talk about what the two of you have done in bed! It may seem like he wants to embarrass you, but it actually comes from a place of pure obliviousness. The others definitely seem to enjoy it, though. “Yeah, ____ is so fucking hot. Last night after the concert they surprised me with one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had.” He can say some pretty sweet things too.

Nathan: “____ is so pretty”.

Toki: “Yeah! Theirs so nice to mes! I like thems a lot-“

Nathan: “Okay I get it, Toki.”

Pickles: “Geez Nathan. Yew dohnt hafta be so rude”

Toki: “Yeahs”

Nathan: “Hmmmr…”

NSFW:

-Nathan, although very hesitant in doing so, is fucking great at eating you out. In the beginning of your relationship with him, eating you out was completely off the table, but one whimsical night he said “fuck it” and went at it. Spreading your legs easily with his thick arms, his large tongue sloppily worked at your sensitive clit, running down your inner labia until he could insert his slick muscle into you. The sounds you made…”Oh.. Nathan”, the look of pure pleasure on your face, the way your toes curled until they cramped, the fucking grip your had on his scalp. He realized something.. He’s turned the FUCK on and nothing has made his cock throb harder.

-His favorite position to fuck you in is the “‘mating press”. There’s nothing Nathan likes more than spreading your eager legs as far apart as possible and pounding away like a caveman. The sound of his heavy ballsack slapping lewdly against the skin of your ass, putting his entire weight into each thrust, the dribbles of cum that leak out of you and onto his crimson silk sheets, his animalistic grunts and growls mixing with the soft whimpers and gasps of your voice. Your poor legs are always left shaking, his thick seed oozing down your thigh. 

-Nathan is a very verbal man, he usually grunts, growls, groans and makes other animalistic noises, but he does enjoy dirty talking too. It ties in with his breeding kink. Oh yeah you heard me. Breeding kink. They don’t call it a mating press for no reason. He wants to keep his kids in you. Any cum that manages to slip its way out of your aching hole gets shoved back in or replaced with even more of his steamy seed. 

-Nathan’s cock is above average length, about 8 inches. Not only is his cock blessed with a mighty length, but it’s also pretty thick too. The tip is plush and tints to a pinkish color when aroused. He’s uncircumcised which makes watching him jerk off an even funner experience. The way the sensitive skin glides up and down as he thrusts into his calloused, rough hand. His cold, green eyes locked onto yours as if reading the desperate thoughts that stirred up in your head. 

-Most of your sensual and slow intercourse takes place in the shower. Nathan is more of a fan at violently stirring your guts with his fat cock, but slippery, slow, soapy sex is pretty damn great in his book too. One moment you’re scrubbing your body down with a foamy luffa, the next moment it’s replaced with Nathan’s large hands. He feels like the luckiest man in the world when he’s able to massage your soapy tits, his hardening cock poking in between your heat. Is there anything better than this? Yes. Watching your wet ass bounce up and down on his cock. The sight of his throbbing dick disappearing all the way into your throbbing cunt sends him into a shock of pleasure, throwing his head back as a result. As your ass meets his pelvis, a grunt escapes his throat. It’s the simple things that make your pussy throb a lil bit more. 

-Fucks you SILLY! Like I’m talking eyes rolled to the back of your head, mouth hanging wide open, drooling all over yourself kind of fucking. Nathan’s facial expressions aren’t too shabby either. When he finally fills you up with his cum, cock pulsating and hips twitching, his teeth sink down onto his lower lip. His eyes roll to the back of his head and a loud, deep roar escapes his lips.

[jackmfvegas777]

Trans Guy Tips #5; Dressing Good

Today, we're going to talk about basic fashion, and some things trans guys specifically need to know when buying a new wardrobe.

Some of these rules can always be broken, it's your body and your choice what to put on it!

However, this is a guide for passing better, so feminine and androgynous looks will not be covered here, only the traditional masculine. I will most likely make a guide out on dressing that way later.

1. Match colors, but don't be afraid to throw in some accent detail colors! Usually when you think of fashion, you think of making everything match, however some things will go better with some contrast rather than plainly matching!

As long as it still has some similarity, it doesn't have to be the same.

The most basic rule you need to learn dressing as a man, is that you wear your belt to your shoes.

If your belt is brown, so should your shoes be.

If your belt is black, they should be black.

Usually most fashion rules can be broken, but this one seems to be very important, as it can throw off the whole appearance of an outfit to have mismatching shoes and belt.

2. Use what I call the finger trick.

When selecting a shirt, specifically a dress shirt, put your fingers in the collar between your neck and the collar.

If you can comfortably fit two or even maybe barely three fingers in there, then that's a perfect fit shirt around your neck.

If you can fit four or more fingers, it's loose and will make you look baggy and overweight.

If you can fit only one, or feel any pressure on your throat, you need a looser shirt because it's too tight.

3. Somewhat similar, but when buying pants, this may be the most important thing of all.

If you get the right set of pants, it can disguise even the biggest of curves.

You want to get what's known as a straight-leg jean pant, you can make it a cargo pant if you wish, either one looks very masculine and good.

I would usually recommend bootcut pants if you wear longer shoes, like boots, or combat boots, or anything you need to tuck the jeans into.

Always get pants that don't feel constricting, and always get them where they fit comfortably with a belt, but don't need a belt due to fitting good already.

But straight-leg type is so important to go for, it's one of the things that makes a boxy figure like a cis man's.

4. I'm not sure if this is obvious or may come as a surprise to some people, but even if you like dressing femininely, if you wish to pass, I would suggest always shopping in the men's section.

They have shirts and pants and everything else under the sun that shaped specifically for men's bodies, making yours look even more like a cis man's, which is very gender affirming. Also women's jeans are made to support the butt and make you look feminine and curvy, while men's are designed to be straight, boxy, and comfortable, usually with deep pockets too!

5. Similar to the matching rule before, you can match a busy pattern shirt with a plain pair of pants, or busy pattern and pants with a plain shirt. However if you put too many busy patterns, or too much plainness, either way makes you look not as good.

Try to balance the detail with the simplicity.

6. Overall the most masculine thing you can wear especially pre-t, is either a formal or casual suit.

You can even wear just a dress shirt with a tie or bow tie, with some dress shoes and pants, and you're good!

This just generally makes you look super masculine and it's hard to mistake.

7. if you're like me, where you like to dress flamboyantly, but you're also super dysphoric about it, wait until you get testosterone therapy.

If you end up having it and you start seeing positive effects before dressing femininely, it's great!

I did this and now I feel totally comfortable with it, as no one ever misunderstands me even if I wear the most feminine things ever.

So if you're going on t, feel free to dress more extravagantly during because you will pass even so!

8. Another way to check shirts that are long sleeved, particularly dress shirts, is to tuck it in like usual, and then lift up your arms really high like you're reaching for something.

If it untucks or lifts the fabric in an unflattering way where your armpits look huge, it's cut wrong and is not something you should buy.

9. This may be surprising to some, but yes, cis men will wear feminine designs on masculine outfits.

I can't count the number of times I've seen men wearing bright pink suits. Other times there's been crop tops, painted nails, hair done, everything.

So if you really like that button up with the flowers on it, but are feeling hesitant due to the feeling that people might judge you, don't worry!

Maybe some will, but a lot of people wear unique clothing, and no one will be as bad as what your thoughts say to you.

10. I have somewhat of a warning, as good and fun they are, t-shirts can be very revealing when it comes to showing your chest, even through your binder! Something about them isn't cut quite right, even if they come from the manliest man's site or store.

If you still wish to wear t-shirts like I do, I would recommend getting a short-sleeved or long-sleeved Dickies button up jacket/shirt that you wear open over it. Or any jacket thing, really. This covers your chest completely and negates that effect.

11. This is sort of more hygiene base but still has to do with getting dressed. Always use men's soap, and men's cologne, and men's essential oils, and men's lotion, if you have them.

Also use some aftershave, it's helpful if it has lotion mixed in and moisturizes as well.

You can even shave even if you're pre-t, due to it making a clean feeling due to there being no feminine peach fuzz on it. This can help support dysphoria relief, as well because it feels like you're shaving a beard, at least until it comes in.

When your moustache and beard do come in from testosterone, if you take it, make sure to oil it lightly with natural oils like argan oil or coconut oil, the stimulates hair growth and follicle health.

And I would recommend shaving just once as it starts developing, so it develops thicker, stronger, and more handsome.

12. If you're planning on going on t, buy at least some of your clothing a size or a few sizes up, or getting a duplicate that's larger.

You will grow, so if you buy all your clothing in a smaller size, you'll probably end up unable to use any of it.

13. Always position your belt buckle in the center of your stomach, the way you can tell if it's positioned right is if it lines up with the buttons of your button up perfectly.

14. When wearing a suit try to always keep the bottomless button unbuttoned. That button isn't actually there to be used, it's meant to be unbuttoned and it makes it look so much better.

The reason it looks so much better is because it makes it flattering and thinning. If you button all the buttons, it will make you look heavy due to it tightening around your waist and stomach.

15. You should always have at least two pairs of dress shoes. one pair that's black, and one pair that's brown. Same with belts. It's also recommended for summer that you keep one pair of masculine flip flops or sandals or sneakers around.

16. This is more of a suggestion than anything, however it's manly as fuck, and people love it.

If you carry a work knife, a pocket watch, a small portable multitool, and a handkerchief.

Possibly even a pen and small notepad with you at all times.

This may seem odd at first, but it's what men used to do constantly in the older days.

These items can come in very useful. A work knife can open packages, open letters, be used in place of scissors occasionally, and even used to defend yourself and others.

A pocket watch is just fancy and shows you're always trying to be on time.

A multi-tool shows you're ready for any task, and it can be a lifesaver in many situations!

Meanwhile a handkerchief is important, because if you ever come across someone crying, or someone wounded, you can lend them or give them your handkerchief, which is a very gentlemanly thing to do, and it can help you pass better, as well as it just being a kind thing to do for someone.

The pen and small notepad is always good to carry on you regardless of any gender, due to you needing to write things down often.

17. Ironically, although socks with sandals seems to be a fashion 'no-no' to most people, I quite like them, and it seems like I pass better with them.

Men tend to wear those slip-on flip flop things, and when you wear socks with it it makes you look very masculine, even if it may look silly to some.

Personally I like it a lot.

18. If you do wish to do makeup & nails, I would suggest doing it as black and gothic as possible, as that's the most common style guys do it as, and if you do it in a certain way, it can come out looking way masculine.

And that concludes my fifth part of this Trans Guy Tips series!

Thank you for reading, and I hope anything I said helped!