#multi purpose photo

[loadinghellsing]

[hak]

another old photo!! these are the only animanga kewpies I own!! of courseeeee!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

[saeori]

Orlando Brick Pavers

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

50 Shades of Red || Chapter 3

pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

summary: Kate is excited and there's a photoshoot. And lots of gay pining and panicking. Mostly on Wanda's end.

content warnings: Vision being a weirdo

word count: 4.5k+

masterlist

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! happy reading ♡

Kate is elated. 

She’s almost too excited. Wanda finds it suspicious, and narrows her eyes as her roommate starts speaking quickly, her voice high and her words stumbling against each other in her haste to speak. 

“What was she doing in town? Wait, never mind I don’t really care. She totally came to see you!” Her excited voice blares through the speakers on Wanda’s phone. 

Wanda is in the stock room while Carol is in charge of the front of the store, attempting to count inventory while her mind replays every second of Ms. Romanoff’s visit an hour ago. She had shot off a quick text to Kate, asking if she’d like a personal photoshoot with the CEO, and her roommate had immediately called her, burning with questions. 

“I mean, no fucking way it was just a coincidence that she happened to stop by the only store in town that you work in. You don’t think that was on purpose?”

“She said she was visiting some department for research,” Wanda says, setting the pen down on her clipboard as Kate clucks her tongue on the other end of the line. She didn’t know why her heart sank slightly at the thought, cursing her excitement at the prospect of Ms. Romanoff purposely coming into town to see her. 

“Oh, that’s right. She’s giving the renewable energy research facility a 3 million dollar grant.” Kate’s voice cracks over the speaker slightly, and Wanda feels her eyes go wide. 

“How do you know that?”

“Dude, my job is literally chief editor for the University newspaper, keep up.”

“Oh,” Wanda shakes her head. That makes sense. She must be really out of it, distracted by Ms. Romanoff’s impromptu shopping trip. She changes the subject. “So do you want the photos of her then?”

Kate’s high-pitched screech sounds out, and Wanda jerks the phone away from her ear as the sound reverberates in her eardrum. She winces, making out the words Kate is yelling. 

“Of fucking course I want the photos. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Wands!! Ms. Romanoff never lets anyone take photos of her, and this would be a private photoshoot. We could have hundreds of personalized photos of her, do you know how rare that is?”

“Okay, okay,” Wanda laughs, hearing Kate’s harsh breathing sound out as she catches her breath. “We just have to figure out who is going to take them, and where.”

“Where do you think Ms. Romanoff would want to do the photoshoot? Like, will she judge us if it’s in some warehouse?” Kate asks, her voice starting to get more high-pitched. 

Wanda knows what that means. Her roommate is overthinking, and her hands are probably shaking as her mind runs a mile a minute. 

“We can ask her about a location, since she’s staying in the area.” Wanda’s voice is soft, and she hears Kate’s breathing calm slightly. It’s a start. 

“How would we ask her?”

“Well,” Wanda starts, hesitating slightly. She hears Kate moving around, probably busying herself with cleaning to release some anxiety over the situation. “I can just… text her and ask?”

“She gave you her number?” Kate’s voice is incredulous and bordering on hysterical. “The most elusive, most desired, hottest, eligible single woman in Seattle gave you her fucking number?”

“Um… yes.”

“Oh my god, Wanda. She’s totally into you, anybody can see it.”

“Kate, no,” Wanda protests, “She was just trying to be nice.”

As she says the words, Wanda knows that they’re false. Ms. Romanoff being nice? To some random girl who tripped through her multi-million dollar quartz doorway? Absolutely not. There had to be a reason why she was giving Wanda so much attention. Her heart stutters, filling with happiness at the thought. 

“We can ask Vision to take the photos, he’d do just about anything for you.” Kate’s voice grounds her to the present moment. 

Wanda feels her body shudder. She didn’t really have anything against the tall, nerdy blonde. He was nice, and in a few of her classes with her. But, he would always stand too close to her or would find any excuse he could to talk with her. His interest in her was noticeable and no matter how many times Wanda had hinted at her sexuality, he just didn’t seem to understand her disinterest in him. 

Honestly, she was one creepy, lingering look away from making a giant banner with the words, ‘I’m a lesbian!’ painted across it in pink glitter. 

Still, she had to admit that he was talented with a camera. 

“Fine, I’ll call him. I think you should call Ms. Romanoff. After all, it’s your article.”

“No way, you’re the one she wants.”

Wanda blinked at that, letting the thought warm her for a moment. Then, she shook her head. “You’re being ridiculous, I barely know her.”

“Out of the two of us, you’re the one who’s met her. And you’re the one she’s purposely sought out, so you’re calling her. Don’t argue with me on this.” Kate’s voice is firm, the click of her hanging up the phone surprising Wanda.

Slipping her phone into her pocket, Wanda pulled out the business card Ms. Romanoff had given her. Her eyes traced over the curves of the woman’s name, memorizing the phone number on the back as she felt herself start to smile. God, she felt almost giddy. It felt like she was back in high school, with a crush on a cheerleader who’d smiled at her in the hallways. 

“So, how do you know her?” Carol’s voice sounded out, her tone suggesting that she was attempting to be nonchalant. It wasn’t working very well. 

Wanda jumped, her heart rate spiking as she guiltily slipped the business card back into her pocket. Turning, she saw Carol setting down a box before the woman turned to her with curious eyes. She didn’t have to ask who Carol was referring to. 

“I had to interview her for Kate’s newspaper,” Wanda says, and her casual tone sounds just as forced as Carol’s. “She was sick so I went for her.”

“Impressive,” Carol muses, lingering in the doorway. “I can’t believe Natasha Romanoff was in my store. Valkyrie is going to be insanely jealous.”

She smiles widely at the thought, before seeming to remember where she was. “Listen, a few customers came in, so I could really use your help out there.”

“Right,” Wanda says, picking up her inventory clipboard. “I’ll be out soon, give me two minutes.”

She can practically feel the burning weight of Ms. Romanoff’s card in her pocket, and takes a deep breath. Maybe she can recite some poetry in her head to get rid of the ever-present replays of their meeting from earlier that day. Looking at the clock, Wanda despairs slightly. 

Only three more hours of her shift, then she can go home and study without thinking about the redhead at all. Not even a little bit.

—

“Wanda, you know my style,” Vision’s voice crackles slightly over the speaker, a whining sort of quality to his tone. Kate rolls her eyes from where she’s listening in on the conversation. “I only shoot places, not people.”

“Oh my god dude,” Kate says, ripping the phone from Wanda’s hands. She gladly lets her roommate take control of the situation, her stomach churning with every word that Visions speaks. “If you don’t do this for us, the newspaper won’t cover the opening of your show. Do you understand now?” 

There's a beat, a moment of silence that stretches too long to be comfortable. Vision speaks, “Fine. Send me the details once you have them and I’ll be there.”

“Awesome, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Kate says, and hangs up the phone before Vision can say anything else. “Your turn, call Ms. Romanoff.”

Wanda blinks, still processing the conversation with Vision. 

“What, now?”

“Yes, now. If I don’t sit here with you, you’ll never call. I know what you’re like with making phone calls. I’ll even hold your hand if you want,” Kate says, reaching across the couch with exaggerated grabby hands as Wanda chuckles and slaps her fingers lightly. 

Taking out the card, Wanda traces the familiar shape of Ms. Romanoff’s name before dialing the number from memory. It wasn’t that hard to remember, especially since she’d been repeating it subconsciously in her head for the past few hours. Her stomach twists, doing a funny sort of fluttery motion as the dial tone rings. 

She answers on the second ring, her voice clipped and calm. It’s slightly raspy, and Wanda feels her chest grow warm. 

“Romanoff.”

“Oh, um… Ms. Romanoff? This is Wanda. Uh, Maximoff. Wanda Maximoff. You gave me your card earlier?”

“That I did,” she says, and Wanda can hear the smile in her voice. “It’s good to hear from you, Ms. Maximoff.”

Her tone has changed, warmth flowing through the phone. She sounds pleased and almost surprised. Wanda is acutely aware of the way her face is slowly flushing with each low, raspy word Ms. Romanoff speaks. Kate watches, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Wanda’s pink cheeks. 

Standing, Wanda waves her hands in Kate’s direction in an unspoken order to ‘fuck off’, before making her way towards the kitchen for some fresh air. They’d propped the window open earlier, and Wanda eagerly breathes in the smell of freshly fallen leaves as she scrambles for something to say.

“We found a photographer,” she blurts out, before smacking a hand against her forehead. “For the photoshoot tomorrow. That is, if you still want to do a photoshoot. I didn’t mean to assume. Does that work for you, ma’am?”

Wanda can feel herself cringe slightly as the words spew from her traitorous mouth. 

“Ma’am? That’s new… I’m staying at the Hilton in town, does 9:30 work?” Ms. Romanoff asks, and Wanda can hear the amusement in each syllable. The woman’s slow smile practically seeps through the phone, and Wanda pushes down the giddy feeling erupting within her. 

“Yes, of course,” she feigns nonchalance, her voice too high-pitched to be convincing. “We’ll see you then.”

“I look forward to it, Ms. Maximoff,” she says, and Wanda can visualize the way her dark green eyes are glinting. She envisions the corners of her mouth turning up into that secret smile she had given Wanda earlier, and shakes her head quickly, returning to the present moment. 

“So do I,” Wanda manages to say, before she quickly hangs up the phone, practically slamming it down on the counter and staring at the screen like she’s expecting the circuits to light on fire. 

“Wow,” Kate’s voice sounds out, her tone a slow drawl. “You’re totally blushing, dude. Admit it, you like her.”

Whirling around, Wanda opens her mouth to respond. She stutters, the words of denial fading quickly as she registers the way her heart is beating quickly and the excitement and butterflies building within her at the prospect of seeing Ms. Romanoff the next morning.

Well, fuck. 

“Oh, come on. She has a million other things to worry about. She’s not focused on some college student who interviewed her. And it’s not a crush… I just find her intimidating.” Wanda can’t tell if she’s trying to convince Kate or herself, and based on the way her roommate raises her eyebrows, she’s not easily swayed. 

“Sure,” Katre says, her gaze pointedly glancing towards Wanda’s reddening cheeks. “I’ll arrange the photoshoot and give my manager a call.”

“I’ll make us supper, how does spaghetti sound?” Wanda asks, jumping at the opportunity for a subject change. Kate agrees, her knowing gaze telling Wanda that she’s aware of her tactic, but thankfully her roommate drops the subject.

That night, Wanda dreams of cinnamon and dark red hair, the weight of warm fingers against her skin, and a raspy voice echoing around her. She wakes up twice, burying her head in the pillow as she scolds her overactive brain for thinking too much. 

She just has to get through this photoshoot, then she can bury the thoughts of Natasha Romanoff somewhere deep inside her brain. 

—

The Hilton stands out among the other buildings, the white-washed stone a beacon of wealth. Wanda tries her best to not raise her eyebrows too far, but Kate doesn’t seem to care as she cranes her neck to look up at the building. The boys in the back, Vision and Paul, seem interested as well, and Vision winces as Paul leans over him to press his face against the window. 

“Damn, so she’s like really fucking rich, huh?” Paul asks, and Wanda internally scoffs. 

She’d looked up Ms. Romanoff’s net worth the night before, her eyes wide and her ice cream forgotten and melting in her bowl as she stared at the numbers on her screen. She’d found herself in a rabbit hole of research, if that’s what you could call it. She mostly just looked up any information she could find about the woman, her public records limited and her photos mainly sourced from various exclusive interviews. 

“Yeah,” Wanda muttered, “I guess so.”

Kate had managed to book a room in the Hilton, typically used for receptions. She’d struggled for a while, her call being transferred to various departments until she’d finally uttered the name Romanoff. After that, it was easy to book a room, free of charge. 

When they arrive, a nervous, young-looking man guides them towards the room. Vision lags behind, carrying his camera and equipment. Wanda pays him no mind, aside from the occasional forced smile in his direction. He’d been trying to talk to her in the car and not-so-subtly imply that they should go out on a date, but luckily Kate and Paul had redirected the conversation to much safer topics. 

The nervous man opens the doors to their rented room, Kate’s casual confidence shining as she directs Vision and Paul toward the back wall. They have about twenty minutes left to set up, and Wanda eagerly accepts Kate’s order to ask the hotel management for refreshments. 

Setting up the finger sandwiches and water cups is easy, and Wanda finds herself relaxing at the monotonous act as she watches the minute hand on the clock creep closer to 9:30. She stiffens when the scent of cheap aftershave reaches her nose, Vision’s lanky frame filling her vision as he leans against the refreshment table. 

“So, you went and interviewed this woman,” he says, leaning in. “Is it true that she’s really a lesbian?”

Furrowing her brows, Wanda opens her mouth to respond. To say.. something clever. Vision beats her to it, his eyes glancing down at her chest too many times to be a mistake. “I bet she hooks up with some really hot women, I wish I could photograph that instead.”

“Oh, maybe we shouldn’t talk about her private life-”

“Also, I was wondering…” Vision cuts her off before he straightens, his eyes glancing over Wanda’s shoulder. 

Wanda senses Ms. Romanoff’s presence before she sees or hears the woman. She watches Kate’s eyes go wide, her eyes flicking over to her as excitement fills her features. Turning slowly, Wanda nearly chokes on her own saliva as she takes in the woman before her. 

Ms. Romanoff is dressed in the most expensive-looking clothing Wanda has ever seen in person. Her cream-colored dress pants hug her in all the right places, and Wanda has to wrench her gaze upwards before she’s caught staring for too long. The white, silk shirt isn’t much better for her steadily-increasing inappropriate thoughts. Wanda blushes when Ms, Romanoff turns, the light catching her shirt just right to show the abdominal muscles flexing through the thin fabric. 

Forcing her eyes further up, Wanda feels a shiver run through her at the look in Ms. Romanoff’s eyes. At first glance, her dark-green gaze looks to be impassive, cold even. But Wanda notices the way her eyes are slightly crinkled in the corners, a private smile meant only for her. The woman’s eyes darken slightly and flicker down towards Wanda’s outfit, lingering just a half-second too long at her chest. She doesn’t mind, Ms. Romanoff’s gaze is comforting rather than off-putting.

“Ms. Romanoff,” Kate says, and Wanda immediately feels the loss of her heady gaze on her. “So lovely to finally meet you, I’m Kate Bishop.”

She holds her hand out, and Ms. Romanoff shakes it. It seems firm, and Wanda finds herself wishing that she could feel the woman's soft skin against her own. She wonders if her handshake is firm, and looks down at the floor as a hot, jealous feeling arises within her as Kate starts directing the woman towards the backdrop Vision and Paul had set up. 

Vision starts to say something, his fingers uselessly gesturing toward a spot against the backdrop. Ms. Romanoff ignores his stammering request, focusing on Kate as she directs the woman into position. Dark green eyes flicker towards Wanda, a sort of curiosity in them. 

“Wanda,” she says, a single finger beckoning her closer. “What do you think?”

“Oh, um. About the poses?” Wanda asks, the woman’s hot gaze trapping her in place. She feels her feet start moving towards the backdrop, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she feels her heart begin to race. 

“Yes,” Ms. Romanoff replies, tilting her head thoughtfully. “You're the only one here who's spoken to me before. So, you know me best. What pose do you think would capture me?” 

Wanda blinks, her mind blanking. She remembers the way Ms. Romanoff had leaned forward during her interview, her forearms exposed from her rolled-up sleeves as she regarded Wanda with intent eyes. 

“Roll up your sleeves,” Wanda says without thinking, feeling a flush rise to her cheeks at Ms. Romanoff’s amused, raised eyebrow. Kate glances back at her, a slightly proud smirk playing out on her lips before she turns back towards the CEO. 

Maintaining eye contact, Ms. Romanoff slowly unbuttons her sleeves, rolling them up with precision that speaks to years of practice. Her gaze is heavy, and Wanda feels the air around her grow hot as her heart rate picks up to a dangerous speed.

“Anything else?” 

Goddammit. Ms. Romanoff’s voice is low, her slight rasp sending Wanda’s mind spiraling into an unknown, fuzzy headspace. She suddenly has the urge to step closer to the woman, needing to be in her space.

Oh, those hands. Those fucking hands. Wanda watches the woman finish rolling up her sleeves, those hands resting casually over her knees with her fingers curled slightly. There are gold bracelets and fingers decorating the woman’s wrists and fingers, and Wanda has a sudden vision of Ms. Romanoff slowly taking all of her jewelry off. She’s well aware of the other three people in the room, one of them her roommate and the other a boy who is borderline obsessed with her. She doesn’t really care. Not when Ms. Romanoff’s attention is fully on her. 

“Lean forward,” Wanda says, biting her bottom lip. Green eyes track the movement, darkening slightly. “Lean on your elbows and look at the camera through your eyebrows. Then slowly tilt your head up until you’re looking dead set at the camera. Give us the barest hint of a smile.”

She turns to Vision, her eyes lighting up in excitement as he starts fiddling with the setting on his camera. “Make sure you get plenty of pictures as she’s slowly tilting her head up. This way, we get plenty of different expressions and angles.”

Vision nods, smiling at her. Wanda shudders, his blinding teeth throwing her off. 

Looking back at Ms. Romanoff, Wanda takes in the woman’s furrowed brows as those captivating green eyes glance between her and Vision. She suddenly has the urge to distance herself further from Vision, and steps closer to Kate. 

“Perfect,” Kate says, clapping her hands once. Wanda fights the urge to jerk at the abrupt sound. Paul startles, dropping one of the finger sandwiches. 

Vision takes several photographs, the click of the shutter sounding out as Wanda watches the woman intently. Ms. Romanoff seems to slip into a role, her expression professional and practiced as she assumes many different poses, her forearms exposed artfully in each one. 

The photoshoot is over before Wanda has fully processed seeing Ms. Romanoff, her mind replaying the closeness of the woman when she visited her store. The sight of those eyes is burned into her brain, the dark green color ingraining itself into Wanda’s memory. The faint scent of cinnamon wafts near her, and she feels lightheaded with need. 

Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with her. 

“Ms. Maximoff.” The words are commanding, and Wanda focuses. Ms. Romanoff is standing, her eyes focused on Wanda. “Will you walk with me?”

“Of course,” Wanda murmurs, ignoring the look and subtle thumbs up that Kate sends her. 

Walking quickly, Ms, Romanoff pulls the door open smoothly and holds it open for her. Her eyes are intent on Wanda, her hand just barely brushing her waist as she slides past her through the open door. 

The silence isn’t overwhelming, instead, it’s rather comfortable. Wanda is well aware of the woman beside her and fights the urge to look over at the way Ms. Romanoff’s hair curls gently over her shoulders.

“Would you join me for coffee?”

“What, now?” The words are out of Wanda’s mouth before she can think, and she blushes at Ms. Romanoff’s amused glance. 

“Yes, Ms. Maximoff. Now. I’ve been recommended a coffee shop just down the road.”

Wanda blinks. Is this… a date? Is Ms. Romanoff really asking her out? On a date? 

“Yes,” Ms. Romanoff says, drawing out the syllables. “This would be a date.”

Fuck. Wanda hadn’t realized that she’d said that part out loud. She almost says yes. God, she wants to, but she’d forgotten one crucial detail. 

“I have to drive everyone back.”

“Hmm,” Ms, Romanoff doesn’t look pleased. She turns to the side and waves a hand sharply at a man standing nearby. He’s dressed in a sharp suit and snaps to attention. “Taylor, can you drive the photographer, the assistant, and Ms. Bishop home?”

“Of course Ma’am.”

Wanda feels her eyebrows steadily rising in disbelief as the man steps into the room they’d just left. Of course, Ms. Romanoff had a personal driver. She probably had a chef and a housemaid and a… Wanda stopped that train of thought before she could think about it too hard. 

“So,” Ms. Romanoff murmurs, turning a corner and stopping at a window. There’s a nice view of their small college town, and Wanda turns to look at it. Anything is better than meeting those piercing, heavy, green eyes. “Are you available for coffee?”

“Why do I have the feeling that you won’t let me say no?”

“Oh darling, you can always say no. But that’s your decision to make.”

Wanda glances down, picking at her fingernail to avoid the heavy gaze locked on her. Something about Ms. Romanoff just makes her want to agree with everything the woman says, and the arm muscles flexing through her silky fabric isn’t helping Wanda stay focused. She takes a breath and looks back up, “So this is a date?”

“Do you want it to be a date?” Ms. Romanoff’s head is tilted slightly, her expression giving nothing away. Wanda feels her heart skip a beat. Her tongue feels too heavy in her mouth, and she feels herself choking on air as she begins to stammer out nonsense words. 

“I- well. I’m- I don’t know, I-”

“I would like for this to be a date,” Ms. Romanoff cuts her off smoothly, the corners of her lips quirking upwards. 

“Well,” Wanda mutters, feeling her face flushing even further as Ms. Romanoff’s smile widens. “I’d like that too.”

“Perfect,” she says, and Wanda wonders if she’s standing closer than before. She can practically feel the older woman’s body heat against her own, and that faint scent of familiar cinnamon wafts beneath her nose. She breathes deeply. 

“I’ll have Nick bring the car around. You should tell your friends that you’re unavailable for the rest of the morning.” Ms. Romanoff’s words are low and murmured against Wanda’s ear. She hopes that the woman doesn’t catch the full-body shiver that cascades down her spine, or the goosebumps rising quickly on her neck. 

Wanda nods at her, eyes flickering between Ms. Romanoff’s dark green irises briefly before she turns her gaze past her towards Kate. The older woman’s hand twitches, her fingers brushing lightly against Wanda’s waist as she steps around her. A full shudder threatens to run through Wanda’s already overactive nervous system, and she suppresses it with sheer will. Her roommate is in the middle of giving Vision and Paul instructions but turns towards Wanda with a raised eyebrow when she begins walking over. 

How the fuck is she supposed to explain a last-minute date with the country’s hottest, richest, and most eligible bachelorette?

Next Chapter

---

Dm or comment to be added!

Taglist: @alexawynters @msvenablesbitch @marilynthornhilllover @lifespectator @milkeeteaa @imnotawitch @marvels--slut @justabrokensunshine @dorabledewdroop @wandsmxmff @esposadejoyhuerta @captivepotato @justarandomreaderxoxo @godhatesgoodgirls @snowdrop1026 @maximoffmorale @noturlondonboy @wandaspuppy @xenaizogie @imjustvibingsworld @tobiaslut 

[germanpostwarmodern]

Multi-purpose Complex „Sonnenblock“ (1957-60) in Munich, Germany, by Helmut von Werz & Johann Christoph Ottow. Photo by Fritz Thudichum.

[planesawesome]

A V-22 Osprey aircraft from the "Thunder Chickens" of Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron 263 takes off from the multi-purpose amphibious assault ship USS Bataan. Bataan is conducting routine operations in the Atlantic Ocean. USNORTHCOM, AT SEA

07.08.2008

Photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Patrick Gearhiser

[zushikiss]

Happy birthday, dearest.

summary ; it's your birthday! and your boyfriend shows his efforts for you so much.

warnings ; fluff, scara and reader lives beside each other, use of the petnames love [ scara ] , hon [ xiao ]

pairings ; scaramouche, xiao, diluc x gn!reader

notes ; it's my birthday today so i thought this would be fitting to post !

─ SCARAMOUCHE

you're on your phone simply trying to pass time as you await for the time to finally hit the 12 am mark, it's a few minutes before your birthday and you simply haven't felt the need to sleep yet so you don't but when the clock finally strucks 12 am, signifying the start of the next day you hear small footsteps on your balcony.

you take your eyes off of your device as a familliar silhouette emerges from the darkness of your balcony, it's your boyfriend!

"Happy birthday, love."

he hands you a small gift, the wrapping paper in your favorite color along with a ribbon in his, you smile as he lays down on the bed beside you, pressing a kiss to your temples as you tore the gift open.

the gift is a picture frame, the frame itself decorated with your favorite flowers but made in clay, an envelope also falls, it was tucked behind the frame, however the thing that brings tears in your eyes is the photo itself.

it's a picture of 13 yr old you and scara during valentines, his friends and yours pushed the both of you to the marriage booth, leading you and scara to be "married" that day.

though the both of you were denying the fact that you both had very obvious crushes on each other, you still obliged by the rules of the class president, which was all "married" pairs had to stay by each other's side for the day, the both of you even went on a sweet and awkward date in your small school cafeteria.

it was a picture of you two sitting on one of the lunch tables, the table filled with snacks the both of you enjoyed, you were smiling in the photo, feeding scara fries while he slowly accepted it, with a blush on his face and while averting his eyes.

"I hope you like it, it was really hard to sculpt those flowers."

"Of course! Thank you scara, i love it.."

you hug him tightly as he presses a kiss to your forehead, you put the frame on your bedside table, as you lay back in bed to cuddle your ever so sweet boyfriend, little did you know the mess that was scattered on your boyfriend's desk, multi colored clay littering the desktop, different tools all semi organized in a cup he had solely for the purpose of holding his cute bright pink sculpting tools.

─ XIAO

when you awoke from your deep sleep, the smell of your favorite food quickly made its way to your room, and before you could even check the time on your phone your boyfriend slowly enters the room, carefully holding a tray with water, your favorite drink, your favorite snacks and as well as your favorite breakfast food.

"I'm not the best at cooking but i really wanted to show you that i tried, but pleaae don't expect a lot.. you know cooking isn't my forte."

the entire day xiao tended to your every need, even surprising you with a bouquet and a plushy you've really wanted, he couldn't help but also purchase a few in game things for you, knowing how much you love the game.

he tried playing for you, even going as far as making an account but video games wasn't really something he enjoyed, however you knew how much effort he put in so you appreciated it either way.

now with your favorite plushy in one arm and your loving boyfriend in the other, you were ready to fall asleep seeing as the day ended, but you could feel a pair of lips on your collarbone as you hear a soft "happy birthday, hon." you couldn't help but smile as he rests his head in the crook of your neck once again.

─ DILUC

as if being droven around all day, going on one too many dates for one day, and receiving plenty hugs and kisses behind closed doors wasn't the best gift then you could say it was this.

you were sitting on the couch, braiding your boyfriend's hair as you tell him a story about your workplace, he hums softly as he asks question, though his eyes were glued to the television, you knew that his attention was all on you.

as you finished braiding his hair you excitedly handed him a mirror as you whispered a quick all done, from the mirror's reflection you could see a small smile forming on his face before he stands up to plant a kiss on the bridge of your nose.

"thank you, name. i think it looks pretty."

"not just your hair, luc. you too, you're very pretty as is!"

"mhm, not prettier than you though."

[mydetheturk]

your requested reminder to post knives going nuclear on zazie when you can :)

ok so im going to be reblogging this to the body horrors week later cause. uh. well. knives. quite literally goes nuclear?

all of these screenshots are from the overhaul project cause i haven't managed to catch the dark horse digital editions on sale yet, though i'll provide the dark horse translations where i can because i have physical copies, and the dark horse translations are imo clearer here.

there are ids in all the alt texts for the photos, it's why this took several days longer than i'd originally planned -finger guns- alt texts might look a little weird in the first set btw - tumblr started eating the photoset and i had to spend an extra half an hour fixing it -finger guns-

the pages are volume 11, pages 90-92, and 114-17, because a lot of the pages in between are leadup pages and also have the zazie control worm. thing.

pages 90-2 are the distant explosion (you can click on the first image and see it in the photo viewer, if for some reason it will not view in dashboard mode. But it does exist!)

(on page 90, dark horse is a lot more specific, with "the northeast sky is glowing" instead of "the whole sky is glowing". the other two boxes with text read "what is--?!" and "oh my..!" respectfully as if they were cut off mid sentence.)

so uh.

knives went uh.

literal "nuclear bomb exploded just above a town"

because he kind of did. Unlike a true nuclear bomb, he did not form a mushroom cloud, but the metaphor is still there. that is a nuclear metaphor

per pages 114-117 (pages are from left to right, read the pages right to left. sorry)

(legato's speech bubbles on page 114 in the dark horse edition read: Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. What is about to happen now is a just a logical extension of that. Be very afraid. You are in his presence. Did you not notice, Leader of the Sand Worms?

It reads very differently, imo, more like Zazie was caught up in their own plots and schemes to realize the control worm didn't work. Legato is also telling Zazie that Zazie should be afraid of Knives. Okay? Not asking if Zazie is afraid. Telling Zazie to be afraid. Like some sort of reverse "Be Not Afraid" from the bible.

Zazie's thought bubbles on page 115 are translated as "the dark hole is swallowing the poison" which reads more like knives made a black hole. given the visuals? that sounds more likely. Black holes, as a real life thing that we know about and have tried to study, are often referred to as swallowing things that pass too close. knives made a mini black hole to eat the poison from the sand worm venom. knives has consumed the dependent plants.)

the fact is, as a metatextual read, plants are nuclear reactors. independent plants are walking nuclear bombs. Nightow did this on purpose. We're meant to read them as something nuclear.

This is, as i was saying to @needle-noggins the other night when i was working on it in an attempt to get more of the alt texts written, a casual display of power. Knives is throwing a hissy fit! Knives is throwing a multi-megaton display of power because Zazie tried to take him over with the control worm. Page 91 had needle-noggins and i speechless because on the low end that tower of debris from the explosion is (if we did the very, very rough math right) THIRTY MILES TALL. Twice as tall as the tallest mountain in the solar system, Olympus Mons! or roughly five and a half times as tall as Mount Everest. On the outside, because we figured its anywhere from 25-30 times taller than the cloud cover, it could be up to thirty seven miles

Over halfway to space on earth.

like.

I know we love the independent plants and all. But Holy Shit. just.

holy shit

[starflungwaddledee]

Hello I wanted to ask if its ok for others to include your magical signature headcannon to their kirby aus,it’s so cool and I wanna use it but I wanna make sure your ok with it first

{the headcanons in question}

oh, yes!! of course, absolutely! i don't think it's all that original, and you're free to take elements and change it how you like, but i'm also happy to elaborate a little on how it works in our specific worldbuilding in case it helps anyone!

as with everything i'd of course love to know if folks use this headcanon in their works!! if you like the idea of using visuals for them how i do, i grab free-use photos from unsplash!

i consider this whole thing to be an alien sensory ability with some synesthetic connotations. for some it could be auditory, for others physical or visual; for others a combination. despite this there is usually agreement on what individual signatures "feel like", regardless of how they are felt

magical signatures are basically just like voices, or faces, or fingerprints. some might be more appealing to certain folks for certain reasons, some might be stronger or more quiet than others (usually a stronger signature denotes stronger magic) but none are inherently bad; not even scary or "evil" ones

these magic voices are all unique, but they can change with time or be a little different in different circumstances. a related family or species might have similar traits in their signatures. folks who share magic very often may pick up notes from each other. life experiences could drastically alter your voice one way or another. someone could- given time, skill, and perhaps malicious intent- override your magic with their own

a stronger proficiency for magic makes sensing these signatures easier. most often they are sensed through touch, and it is generally uncontrollable- like feeling the temperature of your skin. you could initiate a share with someone who was unconscious or unwilling and in most cases still sense their true signature

if you are "sharing" (healing via a mild psychic magic link; imagine a multi-way electric current) your magic will be sensed by the other parties. waddle dees, who are social healers with a social sharing gift, are especially sensitive to the touch-signature

hiding or concealing or changing your signature on purpose is unusual. there's an essence of undeniable truth to it, like soul-seeing. someone like meta knight could learn to purposefully withhold the full strength of their signature, to avoid overwhelming others as an act of kindness. someone like galacta knight could easily do the opposite

the reason starstruck dee's signature in particular is off-putting is not because of the notes of her signature, though it is corrupted: a little unsettling and a little overwhelming; like a very loud voice. the problem is that her signature does not match that of a waddle dee. it's like encountering a dog that quacks like a duck, or touching something that looks dry but is wet. if she were not a waddle dee, most would have taken her signature in stride as simply 'alien'

similarly her ability to 'lie' through her signature is steeply abnormal and meta knight is actively teaching her to hone this skill. in the hope that she'll unlock her 'real' signature by trying on others. in the hope that she'll have a better time socialising with others if she's not so uncanny.

at present she's able to copy other signatures, or combine several into one "new one", but hasn't found one that feels right despite meta knight's tutelage. he's not a fan of how easily she copied his

[kathanglangit]

The Third Blade: Hinalung - Handheld Speartip

Five days left to go before the launch of the Gubat Banwa Kickstarter campaign! Gubat Banwa is a TTRPG that allows you to play as warrior Kadungganan in the Sword Isles, a fantasy setting as colorful and intricate as the Southeast Asian cultures from which it draws inspiration.

I've been posting the weapons I've been drawing for the game as kind of a countdown, leading up to the launch on October 10. I was planning to do this for Swordtember, but sometimes you gotta shift the goalpost a little bit. 3/7 blades down, behold the HINALUNG

This multi-purpose blade comes in a few different shapes and sizes, but in general they are symmetrical and double-edged. They don't get much longer than one's forearm, and more often than not have handles wrapped in rattan lashings.

(Blades by Tatang HImanggo and one of his students- a certain Arnold; As shared by Biboy's Sharp Edges) If I'm not mistaken, the term "hinalung" is Ifugao- referring to a certain group of indigenous peoples in the Philippine Cordilleras- though the usage of the blade itself was widespread across the mountains of north Luzon. Nowadays, it isn't just Ifugao smiths making them, and a number of contemporary smiths from across the region seem to lay claim to the blade. In any case, the blade is of the Cordilleras, unconquered by Spain.

(Blades by Ifugao Traditional Blades) One more thing of note is the open scabbard, which seems to be common among blades in that region- not just the hinalung. Some of them boast enough space for more than one blade to be sheathed, and are often sold as novelties. The first example below has a large hinalung in the middle, joined by a pair of pinahig. It can very quickly get out of hand. These X-in-1 sets are usually sold as novelties.

(Blades by Orinn Mongalini/Panday Anitu Mumbaki)

(Photo from Orinn Mongalini)

(Photo from Ifugao Artistic Blade)

Now for the fun part! You may be wondering why the handle is shaped the way it is, with that triangular opening near the base of the blade? Or perhaps you read the title of this post and you already know where this is going?

They double as spearheads! The handle itself is steel folded in to create a hollow socket, allowing the hinalung to be mounted on a wooden shaft, turning it into a spear. Supposedly, this spear-form was used for hunting. You can see the hollow socket more clearly here:

(Blade by HanYan Blades)

(Screencap from a video by AJ Blade Reviews testing the blade as a spear; Blade by Lakay Paul Dulnuan Sr.) As mentioned previously, the Philippine Cordilleras were never conquered by Spain, and as such were able to carry their traditions with a little more ease into the present day. It is very much apparent in the blade culture. Present-day smiths in the Cordilleras still forge hinalung, some of them stating they do it in the traditional way, others admitting to hewing to more modern methods.

(Antique from the Peabody Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology)

(Modern build by Lakay Pabian, photo by Ramon Bathan) Like I said before: Blade culture is alive and still developing. One of the Five Major Mahamandalas of Gubat Banwa pays homage to and gleans inspiration from living cultures like those I mentioned here. If you want to know what the first half of that sentence means, check out the game and its Kickstarter!

The Gubat Banwa Kickstarter launches in 5 days! Check it out here:

I've watched this game be started, written, and developed by like- one guy, who just managed to drum up enough interest and meet enough people willing to help shape the dream, and make it what it is today. It could not have gotten this far without all of them. Still, it remains a very small team of creators from the global south, with very limited resources. We would dearly appreciate any and all help in getting the word out about the game!

[mbm-artist]

Hi there hello, I'm sure you're wondering either

A) Why tf I just reblogged a bunch of stuff in the span of like 30 seconds

B) What's going on in general

C) What's the point of this post you're reading

D) All of the above

Well dear viewer, I'm gonna give you a TL;DR and then under the cut give a more in-depth explanation, I'll even cut it up into different sections to make viewing easier :)

⚠️ Trigger Warnings ⚠️

Randy (duh), a LOT of swearing (duh), suicide mentions, pedophilia/attempted grooming/etc mentions, queerphobia (transphobia, homophobia, etc), misogyny, mentions of sexual things, slurs, harassment, general 16+ content mentions

Disclaimer

Randy is a 14 year old minor (allegedly) as of the time this post was made, please DO NOT INTERACT with him, just block him and report him as many times as you want. This post's purpose is to spread awareness and maybe hopefully get him banned from Tumblr. Please do not go after, attack, or interact with him or his (supposed) "girlfriend" (he has her tagged at the bottom of his pinned post). I suggest you block (NOT REPORT) his "girlfriend" too, you can never be too careful.

As of the time this post was made Randy's father and school have been contacted, and we are waiting on an update.

Please offer all the victims of Randy unconditional love and support, they deserve that and so much more for all the bullshit this kid put them through, don't you dare even TRY to victim blame them. I will flame you if you attack them at all in any way shape or form, no excuses, ifs, ands, or buts.

I am also a minor in high school (not giving my age for my own safety), so take that how you will. My pronouns are they/them/he/him if you don't know already :D

One more thing before we get into it (if it wasn't obvious already),

GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY PAGE AND BLOCK ME IF YOU'RE QUEERPHOBIC (transphobic, homophobic, etc) OR AGREE WITH RANDY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT WITH ME EVER AGAIN.

Thank you, you may now proceed.

Links

The Google Doc (Alllllll the info about this guy in one place, most reliable source of info) | Randy's "gf's" tag, #proud randy supporter (Second-most reliable source of info, this has a LOT of updates on him in real time) | Randy tag, #randysworld-multi-fandom-fan/randysworld2009 (Second-most reliable source of info, all posts related to him will [hopefully] be here) | Randy's Interactions With Me (proof of him interacting with me) | Google Photos Album (just all of the screenies of proof in one place, I'm gonna tryyyyy to keep this updated as much as I can but no promises)

My response to the 1st ask he sent me | My response to the 2nd ask he sent me (pretty much the same as the first one)

The Short Explanation

So basically this whole fiasco is about @randysworld-multi-fandom-fan or otherwise known as randysworld2009

His crime(s)?

1. Hypocrisy

2. Queerphobia (transphobia, homophobia, the works)

3. Misogyny

4. Perversion (being a pervert)

5. Suicide baiting

6. Pedophilia accusations (all of which are false, and carelessly thrown around)

7. Attempted grooming(?) of fellow minors

8. Slurs (need I say more?)

9. Harassment (in case that wasn't obvious already)

Among other things

He's been interacting with accounts in the following fandoms (as of the time this post was posted):

The Amazing Digital Circus (TADC)

Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss, or HV/HH/HB)

Murder Drones (MD)

SMG4 (Super Mario Glitchy 4)

Yo Gabba Gabba (YGG)

TL;DR this guy is a 5yo Gen Alpha brainrotted kid stuck in a 14yo kid's body, and he's been harassing multiple (mainly TADC) accounts on Tumblr for a bit now, and just being a nuisance and damaging people's mental health.

That's the simple explanation, if you're still not convinced you need to block this guy (and his [supposed] girlfriend) and report him until your hands hurt and/or would like to know more thennnnn

The full explanation + evidence is under the cut ✨

The Long Explanation

Okay so I'm gonna be quoting the Google Doc a LOT here, you'll be able to tell which parts are quoted and which parts are me.

"Randy or randysworld2009 is a Tumblr user that appeared around TADC blogs in the beginning of 2024. Since then, he has built a history of harassing said blogs, mostly roleplay/askblog accounts and artists, forcing roleplay and specially spouting misogyny towards women mods and fem leaning characters, transphobic and homophobic towards queer people. At one point he started getting his information messed up, saying that he was super straight and then later on a “half-bisexual”, also often times approaching people with romantic/sexual intent and then getting angry when those same people state that they are not interested or are above legal age, which he supposedly is not. It is believed that Randy is 14 years old, but at this point, we can’t be certain of what information is true or false. For all we know, his blog could be just a troll."

So yeah, this guy is bad news. That was a direct (formal) quote from one of the victims.

If formal isn't your style, here's a more casual one

"Randy first appeared around the beginning of 2024. He began harassing tadc ask blogs then that led to harassing their mods. Eventually others got involved and Randy basically snapped. He got EVEN MORE batshit and started spouting misogyny, transphobia, and dilution. He's chronically online and believes everything is a roleplay. He's obsessed with getting a girlfriend and has sexually harassed many. he is the horniest bastard you could fucking meet omg"

Another direct quote from another victim, this one he treated the WORST.

(Some) Screenshots

There are more screenshots in the Google Doc and the Google Photos Album I made, but these will be a few tidbits of evidence that will hopefully convince you by now if you're not already. (With some additional commentary/explanation from yours truly underneath each screenie✨) Additionally, all the images will have links to their sources. (Please let me know if they don't work, I'll update this with usable links if that's the case)

Exhibit A - The Bastard Himself

(Mb for light mode jumpscare here, even more reason for your eyes to bleed when looking at this immature fuck's profile)

Just his profile (as of the time this post was posted) so you know exactly who to block and report as many times as possible Exhibit B - His Interactions With Me

This is some evidence of him interacting with me, there's more in the Google Photos Album I made of proof he interacted with me

(Mb for light mode jumpscare again, it's the only way I could show the post and the comments in the same screenie)

His comments on my pinned post, if you saw this or this you know I demanded that he delete his comments on here (while flaming the fuck out of him), so here's a screenie of what they were before he (hopefully) deletes them

The first ask he sent me, my response being the awesome giant rant where I DEMOLISHED him (I'm way too proud of it if you couldn't tell)

All his interactions with me from when he initially found me

The rest of his interactions he's ever had with me

Like the first ask he sent, I answered with the same thing, ANNIHILATING this fucker (still way too proud of it)

Exhibit C - Direct Victim Testimonies (to yours truly) These are asks that I sent to the main 3 victims I had gathered evidence from before gaining access to the Google Doc, they're my main sources so far (send all the love and support to them please [especially Sunny's system they've all been hurt the most from what I can see], they're very sweet outside of all this and more than deserve it)

Dia answered first, their answer helped me gain access to the Google Doc and get a HUGE chunk of the evidence I'll be showing here

Second half of Dia's answer, a summary of the wholeeee situation straight from a direct victim

Sunny was the second to answer my ask, this is what I mean when I say clearly Sunny needs the most love and support out of all the victims (as far as ik) cus like how can you not man- also this is how I found out they contacted Randy's father and school, very big piece of lore (and you'll see why they have soon don't worry)

Lilith was the last to respond to my ask, this being how I found out that it was them specifically that contacted Randy's dad & school (which I commend them for, it was a very good move so bravo to them man genuinely)

Exhibit D - Evidence

And now the moment you've all been waiting for, if this doesn't convince you then shit idk what will-

This post was my first exposure to what Randy is ACTUALLY like and wowee what a doozy man, it started me down the rabbit hole that lead me to making this post rn (make sure you look at the notes [both comments and the reblogs] too those also have even more info aside from everybody FLAMING the fuck out of this kid lolol) Also GO OFF ON HIM GLITCH GET HIS ASS WOOOOO

(Sorry for the light mode jumpscare yet again, evidence is evidence)

1. Misgendering. What the fuck. (Dia's pronouns are they/them) 2. EW. Need I say more??? 3. This post is how I found my main 3 sources up until Dia answered my ask 4. You'll start to see that this post and the following posts show that he's SPECIFICALLY targeting fem-adjacent blogs (including blogs that are run by enbies that he assumes identify as femme and promptly misgenders) and generally being a misogynistic and transphobic BITCH

This post is an example of Randy A) Accusing a fellow minor of pedophilia (very carelessly and incorrectly might I add) B) Not even getting their age right? Hello??? C) This kid clearly does NOT know what the difference between slang and genuine predatory behavior is which shows how fucking SHELTERED this kid must be oh my GOD D) Another example of him misgendering and being misogynistic/transphobic

This post is more proof of him being misogynistic and sexually harassing people, and might I add a HORNY ASS PERVERT Rabid is actually someone I followed way before all this dude, I'm guessing that's how Randy found me unfortunately

After this screenie Dia answered my ask, so all the screenies beyond this point are straight from the Google Doc (some had links to their original posts, some didn't for the sake of anonymity which is completely understandable)

This post backs up what I said regarding the other screenie where Randy assumed Lilith was like 20, istg this kid does NOT know what fact checking is holy fuck This was a certified screenie I got from the Google Doc might I add

This post, another one provided by the Google Doc, is an example of him A) Harassing TADC ask blogs (and it leading to harassing the mods) B) Sexually harassing people and being misogynistic in general He just doesn't know when to quit huh

(Sorry again for the light mode jumpscare this is the last one I promise)

This one didn't have a post linked to it so I only found it cus of the Google Doc (so yay ig you don't have to click the links to the OG posts for more info anymore beyond this point), the mod spitting FACTS

Once again lovingly provided by the Google Doc, wowee this kid sure loves slurs

Conclusion

I know this might not get to many people, but I'm hoping it at least has some sort of positive impact, because I want to try my best to warn as many people as possible and keep him from having any more influence than he already has.

To the victims involved in this: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE PLS PLS PLS LMK IF I NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING I TRIED MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO BE AS ACCURATE AND RESPECTFUL TO YOU GUYS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE I'D REALLY APPRECIATE FEEDBACK IF I GOT/DID SOMETHING WRONG

Thank you for reading my ramblies on this important news, have a cookie for getting this far and you're an LGBTQIA+ ally 🍪 (plus an additional scoop of ice cream if you're queer 🍦)

And Happy Pride Month, TRANS PRIDE BABYYY

Plus some Anti-Randy spray for the road (lovingly provided by Sunny and Lilith) ✨

(in case of any confusion, the colors kind of mean different things but not really, it's not that important- but red is for trigger warning stuffs/disclaimers and general important things, green is for section titles, blue is for links, and that's about it really-- and yes I did make a subtle RGB joke. Sue me, I wanna be at least a little funny to make light of all this grim dark stuffs. All those super super serious call-out posts can be kind of depressing so I want to find the happy middle ground between serious and lighthearted, it gets the message across and it still feels important without being too much of a downer yanno? Anyway do tell me your thoughts in the comments after dropping a reblog, I would appreciate feedback on what you think of my writing style here :3) (Oh, and if you're wondering what purple means? It's a secret 🥰)

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Was Meghan's messy wedding hair a clapback to the Queen and Angela Kelly? by u/Admirable_Brush_7470

Was Meghan's messy wedding hair a clapback to the Queen and Angela Kelly? As we all know, Meghan's wedding hair was an absolute disaster - it looked like it was about to fall apart any second, and for a royal bride, this was highly unusual, given they have access to the best hairdressers in the world.As we also know, Meghan & Harry clashed with Angela Kelly about access to the tiara before the wedding:https://ift.tt/aqeT1YE Markle and Ms Kelly reportedly had a disagreement involving the tiara and the future Duchess of Sussex's hairdresser, Serge Normant. [...] The book Finding Freedom alleged Ms Kelly ignored requests from Kensington Palace to set up a date for a hair trial with Mr Normant. [...] "She didn’t make an appointment with Angela but said, ‘We’re at Buckingham Palace. We want the tiara. Can we have it now please?’ "Angela essentially said, ‘I’m very sorry, that’s not how it works. There’s protocol in place over these jewels. They’re kept under very tight lock and key. You can’t turn up and demand to have the tiara just because your hairdresser happens to be in town'."Regardless of the clash, here is how Meghan decided to turn up to her multi-million, internationally-televised wedding on that fateful day in May, 2018.Meghan's loose hairBelow is an article with a quote from Meghan's hairdresser:https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/05/199792/meghan-markle-royal-wedding-hair"Before the ceremony, he wasn't sure what would be on Markle's head, aside from a tiara. Eventually, after storyboarding, they settled on something that was true to Markle's style. "'It's a messy bun, we call it," he continued. "Messy in a controlled way. Making sure it doesn't become a whole mess after a few hours! I don't overload the hair with products in general and certainly not on this day." Well that's a crock of shit, because her hairstyle was literally hanging by a thread and her photos are now forever marred as a result.But then we cut to the AFTERS, where we have a much more structured updo - one that could easily have been done for the ceremony itself, should she and her hairdresser have chosen to.More structured hair.The above hairstyle would have worked with her tiara and veil, without doubt. So, my question is, do you all think she requested the messy hair on purpose, to embarrass Angela Kelly? And make the Queen question Angela's judgment on the matter?After all, had the Queen said anything to Harry about Meghan's messy hair afterwards, Harry would have pointed to Angela Kelly and said 'it's her fault'.Interested in people's take on it. post link: https://ift.tt/BcAURHO author: Admirable_Brush_7470 submitted: November 03, 2023 at 03:39AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[baejax-the-great]

ao3 exists, plus it doesnt even matter what terms i search for on tumblr 100% of the time theres fanfiction. literally you can search any words on this website and some kpop guy/ reader fanfics flood the results every single fucking time. plus some of us are not here for fandoms??? your circus/clown analogy is stupid

So I'm incredibly allergic to shrimp-- to the point where if I ate a single shrimp I would die, to the point where I don't really consider shrimp food anymore--and it's the weirdest thing, yesterday i went to Target to buy hair conditioner, and they were selling shrimp. Don't they know it wasn't what I was looking for and I can't eat it anyway? Why would they do this? Totally fucked up of those shrimp catchers to try to poison me like that.

But analogies clearly aren't your thing, so let me break this down for you.

AO3 does indeed exist, but your suggestion that fanfic live there and ONLY there is akin to saying that imgur exists, so nobody should be posting images, whether they be photos or art, on any other website. Twitter exists (sort of), so really nobody should be posting shit posts or hot takes that are fewer than 140 characters or whatever.

Not everyone uses AO3. There is no law saying that if you write fanfic, you must post it on AO3 and nowhere else. There will never be a law that says that, because that's not how the internet works. Tumblr, one of the few social media sites that allows longform blogging, is in fact a great alternative to AO3 for one-shots. It's a little trickier for multi-chapter posts, but I've seen people make it work.

AO3 is not social media. People can't DM there, send asks, make friends, bump their post to the top of the feed (unless they are an asshole who is about to get blocked by half of fandom for pulling that move). Do you like social media? I mean you're here, on tumblr, bothering a total stranger, so you must see some value to it. Guess what--fanfic authors also enjoy being on social media and sharing what they've been up to, including their WIPs.

Things you aren't looking for being part of your searches is literally just life on the internet at all times forever. Earlier this month I was looking for a reference of draped fabric for drawing purposes. I googled 'chiton drawing' (chitons like the ancient Greeks used to wear), and all I got were drawings of molluscs of the genus 'chiton.' Alright, I did a google search for "toga drawing" and learned that there is an anime girl named Toga and people very much enjoy drawing her. Were the artists of the molluscs or the anime girl to blame for me having to slog through a bunch of irrelevant pictures to find one that could help me with my drawing? No. They correctly labeled what they were doing. That's just life.

Seeing fanfic in the tag doesn't harm you. At all. It doesn't matter if you find it cringe, or it's a ship you don't like, or it's xReader. For like ten seconds you looked at words you didn't particularly like, and then you moved on. How is that different from literally any other post on tumblr? I see bad takes and essays I don't care about on this site all the time. It's called scrolling. Again, this will be the case for every website on the internet forever. Are you telling me you read every tweet in your feed? Every reddit post? Sometimes you see irrelevant stuff. I guarantee some of my mutuals have already deemed this long ass post irrelevant and are scrolling on by. What makes fiction that much more abhorrent to you than the rest of the nonsense?

If you really hate seeing fanfic, tumblr has content blocking and tag blocking. You can block the phrase "x Reader." You can block the tag "fanfic." You can block all sorts of things, and if that doesn't work, you can just block the writers whose existence annoys you.

Sorry man, you personally not liking fandom and not using tumblr for it has really no bearing on what everyone else is doing. Like it or not, tumblr is a hub of fandom, and fanfic authors are going to be a part of every fandom on this green earth. Just because you came to the circus in order to admire the pretty fabric used on the tents doesn't mean the performers are in the wrong for doing their thing.

[germanpostwarmodern]

Kaiserbad Multi-Purpose Complex (1990-94) in Aachen, Germany, by Ernst Kasper. Photo by Ralph Richter.

[locke-writing]

We're making a web series with the purpose of expanding on the daily lives of Slenderverse proxies and we're low on funds to keep the ball rolling.

Even a dollar would mean the world to me and my partner; we are both working very hard to produce this for you and revive the Slenderverse community. If you cannot donate, please reblog this.

This will be one of the most high-budget Slenderverse projects on the internet. We are really trying to push the limit on quality. We have already dedicated several years to the project and have over 200+ pages of script written, hundreds of props, and an entire 50-page lore catalogue in the works. It is extensive. Your full donation will be put towards film and editing equipment, finding skilled actors, on-set accommodations, props, paint, material to build our monsters, renting out film locations, allowing special guests to join in, cross-country travel for filming, and so much more.

We are bringing the original Creepypastas back to life in our series as well. This has thematic ties to classics like Marble Hornets, TribeTwelve, and EverymanHYBRID. You will see adaptations of many familiar faces as well as many new ones.

If you live in the Asheville North Carolina area, we are looking for actors and actresses. We are also looking for voice actors with good quality microphones; this can be done long-distance. We are looking for professionalism and serious inquiries only. These are paid positions and we will provide food and necessities on set.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reblog.

We have several of our concepts, props and photos under the cut. Please feel free to browse.

There is so much more but I have run out of image slots for this post. If you want to see all these cool things in a multi-season psycho-slasher-analogue thriller, I humbly ask for your help. Thank you.

[chikaras-garden]

What are your tips for writing smut in particular? I wanna know how to write it and how to write it well.

As with any writing advice, these are guidelines, not rules. I’m also not the singular best smut writer in the universe, so please don’t feel like you have to do any of this; it’s just what works for me!

Read. A lot. And not just fanfic; find romantic and/or erotic novels you like and read actively, taking note of the turns of phrase (i.e. word choice and sentence structure) that stand out to you—then think about why. Is it the connection between the characters? The vividness of the descriptions? Not only will this help you learn effective writing, but you’ll also find inspiration you may not have thought of otherwise.

Know your characters, their personality, and their relationship to each other. This will help you write actions and, more importantly, reactions. There’s a difference between lovemaking and hatefucking. There’s a difference between Jason Todd and Dick Grayson. Are you writing comfort sex? Sleepy sex? “I’m so mad at you I have to fuck you” sex? How would Jason vs. Dick kiss a reader he’s in love with? What does each of them need to do or feel in order to be satisfied? Knowing how your characters feel and behave should guide every decision you make in your writing, whether it’s smut or anything else.

Characterize your reader. In the same vein as the above, your reader is a character. They should have a personality, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs—knowing this will help make writing their actions and dialogue flow more easily for you, and it makes the scene more interesting.

Smut is (usually) a multi-person ordeal. What I meant when I said that reactions are important is that one character isn’t acting in a vacuum and the other character isn’t, like, a sex doll. Character A and Character B should constantly be acting and reacting to each other, keeping their emotions, personality, and relationship in mind. In most scenarios, Character A is doing something with the express purpose of getting a reaction out of Character B. And even if Character B is submissive, a bottom, or even tied up, they shouldn’t be entirely passive. Their facial expressions, sounds (moans), and actions feed into what Character A chooses to do next.

Keep positions and anatomy in mind. Know where each person’s hands are, what they can reach with their mouth, and how other body parts like thighs, chest, neck, and butt, come into play. Don’t be afraid to use reference photos for this, and also keep in mind each character’s physical ability. Using Jason and Dick as an example: Dick is generally more flexible than Jason, but Jason is generally seen as having more brute strength. Their physical abilities would impact their instincts: Dick might be more inclined to twist himself to reach something, while Jason might simply move the reader where he wants them.

Slow your pace and focus on detail. Thinking about the vivid descriptions from the romance novels we like, “he sucked her nipple” is less impactful than “he made a cup of his fingers and lifted her breast to his lips” (I believe this was in The Governess Game by Tessa Dare). Why? Because we can better visualize what’s going on. The second sentence has movement that takes us though the scene instead of making us imagine it for ourselves: he made a cup of his fingers, then he lifted her breast to his lips, then (it’s implied that) he sucked her nipple. The word choice here is specific to his characterization; he’s explicitly being gentle with her, as compared to a character who would instead “bring her nipple to a stiff peak with several rough twists of his fingertips, then cover it with his lips” (I do not remember what novel this is from).

Spend some time on non-sexual intimacy. In my own writing, the actual act of penetrative or oral sex is maybe the last 33% of the piece I’m writing because there’s so much intimacy in foreplay. Sexual tension is your buildup, while the sex itself is really only the payoff, so give the same attention and detail to the kisses, touches, or even looks that get us to the main event in the first place.

Here are some more resources:

Smut terminology

Smut-writing advice

Ultimate guide to writing smut fic