#my friends who are nd know how to fucking communicate

[mueslisoup]

I'm gonna get flamed for this (by *that* community) if I don't go anon

But I think aroace characters should just be aroace until they actually canonically SHOW INTEREST in another character

like if they knew they weren't completely aroace and just arospec they'd have a crisis but probably not know how to handle love 'normally' (LOOKING AT THOSE FUCKERS YEAH I SEE YOU) and do it in their own way because of their perception of love is different from well. Mostly everyone else's?

if they were truly aroace their world would be flipped like Jesus christ is this a crush??? Like it could just be an obsession because they don't have the normal Frame of reference everyone else has. It's even worse if the character is ND, because now they really can't tell if so and so is their friend, crush or whatever the fuck

this is to say I'm trying to learn aro culture and if I got anything wrong here PLEASE correct me

I'm not aroace myself but I'm pissed that some of the only rep you guys have is just... washed down the drain by the community

THIS!! I personally don't experience ANY sexual or romantic attraction, however I've spent years of my life talking to other aromantics and asexuals who DO occasionally experience these things so that I can understand my community and it's a BIG DEAL for them!!

When they start to experience this attraction they're usually uncouth in the way they go about accepting and acting on those feelings! And even more of the time they presume they're feeling attraction when in reality it was idolisation or platonic infatuation!

Drawing an aroace character in a sexual or romantic interaction with a character they've shown very little to no interest in and just sticking "I know they're aroace, but aroace people can do this too, don't be ignorant" in your captions doesn't make it alright for you to erase their identity.

I'm sick of people acting like its impossible for a character to not have sex and not be in a relationship!! Like they're not "whole" without someone else!!!

[visgrapplinghooks]

friendlinghood: a proposal

skip to "terminology" if you don't want the long explanation

QPRs are really difficult to talk about because of the way the modern queer community has kinda framed it as like "dating but without romantic attraction"

when that's not entirely true

I mean, you COULD say that's a kind of QPR but it'd be a mistake to frame all of it that way. this is in large part to internet misinformation and shit as well as amatonormativity from which a lot of relationship discourse is framed against

queerplatonicism, from my pov refers to what is essentially the natural byproduct of queer and neurodivergent people having close friends

the queer community has been aware for a while that its members would have close friendships that in some way violated traditional social norms for behavior outside romantic relationships or family, etc.

when you sit outside the neurotypical and patriarchal norm, the conventional social understanding of what relationships are kinda breaks down for you

you display levels of closeness and intimacy and affection that are "inappropriate" for neurotypical and patriarchal society. in most cases they're not formal relationships, but natural evolutions of friendships between queer and neurodivergent folks

cishet people actually do have variants on this like the concept of "blood brothers" where two men who love each other basically make a pact to always have each other's backs and be their support and they do the whole movie thing where they mix blood to bind them together (it's a very cinematic thing, but the point is it exists in the popular consciousness)

"romance" and "friendship" each refer to a set of social norms and expectations. there's like a whole narrative constructed around those concepts and people internalize and have their own versions of them

a lot of people probably have friends they want to fuck or kiss or cuddle or declare their undying affection for but it'd just be "weird" within the social boundaries of acceptability and so people pigeonhole their relationships into either friend or romantic partner.

queerplatonicism (from my pov) is essentially accepting or practicing relationships which are neither platonic or romantic or even strictly familial. many queer people have them with other queer people they're close to. if you know queer folks then you probably know what I'm talking about - the friends they have that they're not dating but seem intensely attached and close to. they usually have weird names for each other that go beyond friendship like they'll jokingly call each other wives and husbands and siblings and partners... but it doesn't feel quite entirely joking. they'll express a lot of physical affection in the casual way you might typically ascribe to romantic partners. they'll prioritize time with those people as much as any romantic partner they may have etc.

straight and cis people and neurotypical people obviously experience them to some extent, it's just that patriarchy was built around cishet neurotypicals in particular, so it tends to cling to their mindsets more strongly, and once you're already outside of the "bounds of normalcy" by being queer, ND, etc. then it's a lot easier to feel like it's okay for you to be in relationships that aren't "normal".

because like the idea of loving someone with your entire fucking being... it's so tied up in these cultural ideas on how to behave about those feelings and it never made sense to me, because if you just let yourself feel those emotions you start to realize there are people in your life that maybe you love so much more than friends. but "more than friends" is so washed up in romance that you force those feelings down and think "this is fine, I'm happy with being just friends, what else can we be?"

maybe I don't want to have sex or hold hands on a ferris wheel or get. married or kiss or any of that. maybe I just want to exist in the same room as that person know that that person is in my life and know that person cares about me just as much as I do them.

terminology

I've started to use the term "friendling" in my day to day life, now. the term is a portmanteau of "friend" and "sibling" and "loveling" (the english cognate of the German word "lieblings" which can mean "favorite", but is also a term of endearment).

to me, it's probably the most accurate way to describe the Everything All At Once feelings that are simultaneously your weird friends that are your found family and also "romantic" but twisted beyond recognition where the term stops meaning anything.

I'm just throwing this word and explanation out there for anyone who feels like me and wants to use it too. not exclusive to queer people or neurodivergence or anything, I just think it's often easier to be cognisant of those feelings when you are queer and neurodivergent.

that being said, I do NOT want this to be folded into another "attraction label". this is, as far as I can tell, not a unique form of attraction but quite literally the opposite. it's an abstraction of the core impulses of attraction that ALL humans experience without the labels or social structures built around it. I do not want the language that I've spent so long trying to find for my experiences losing all of its value and being reapporpriated into the amatonormative, allonormative, and cisheteropatriarchal framework.

"friendlinghood" - is what I see as an attribute of relationships and the extent to which they deviate from socially conventional definitions of a relationship.

"friendlingship" - used grammatically like friendship. referring to any complex relationship acategorically.

"friendling" - used grammatically similar to friend. referring to those involved in any complex relationship acategorically.

all of this shit is nebulous and doesn't really mean anything beyond what meaning you choose to give it. I think any relationship can have some amount of friendlinghood and I don't think there's a clear line between friendlingship and friendship or romance or family, because it's not a type of relationship in the first place. it's just silly words I made that helped me.

language and labels

so the biggest problem with terminology like this is you can end up creating labels. my point was to create personal terms for myself and my relationships because that's what helped me personally process my own feelings.

that's not to say everyone needs or benefits from them. you can just vibe and do whatever you want and many people are happy with that.

I don't think words like this being codified and standardized really helps anyone. it's unavoidable that we as humans like articulating feelings, but the entire point of my interactions with friendlinghood is about certain things defying labels and language. language in this sense is just a tool, it's a hammer for a nail. it's not embodying the concept itself, it's just useful shorthand.

I will still freely refer to friendlings as close friends, best friends, found family, and other words. as long as I know the intention behind it is all that matters. I just needed that initial bit of language to articulate the feelings before the other words felt right to me.

[vanderspeiglemd]

I post a lot about the ship but that's not even the worst thing that's not the thing that the show completely pissed on and hurt a lot of its viewers doing.

It's the ableism. It's Harry being turned into this antiquated disabled caricature solely to be laughed at. They know he's seen as autistic/nd. They all know, Alan especially knows and he has a large part in what Harry does says and is presented as given how much of Harry is improv.

Calling someone with Harry's traits a child just spits in the face of every real disabled/nd/autistic/etc person with said traits. Being so cruel to him for said traits is even worse. Watching the second half of s2 felt like a hatecrime and s3 is just a true blue sitcom out of the 80s. The act of making Harry like this in the first place for a joke is hurtful and so is the way he's treated in the show. The more disabled he became, the worse he was treated. Hitting him, calling him names/an animal, making fun of his voice/mannerisms/language, Asta's endless exhaustion rolling her eyes sighing on top of calling him a child when he does anything or tries to communicate, while she's supposed to be his friend. You're supposed to laugh at and think whatever he does is stupid, weird, wrong. If someone called him the r slur I'd be like yep that tracks for this show.

Season one made me feel seen, no one treated Harry like shit and if anyone was mean Asta would step in, people wouldn't make a huge deal out of his awkwardness it was just accepted, the humor of his failings felt like the writing was laughing with him instead of at him, we were meant to feel sympathy and closeness and believe in his better nature. There was SUCH a focus on being an outsider and feeling of not belonging, how that wasn't a bad thing and there were people who would accept you. The whole bond between him and Asta was about outsiders finding one another in a world that was cruel, but in Patience Harry could see the best in humanity and maybe not feel so alone. Breaks my absolute fucking heart that it's all gone, that people in the real world making this show said nope ableism and cruelty for our sitcom!

[swemory]

Messy CoD: Ghost's headcannons ::

on the topic of CoD charachters as animals, Merrick strikes me as a bear. dunno ENTIRELY why. i saw this other post montttthhhssss back(more like a year ago) of someone headcannoning that Merrick kind of instinctively starts watching out for the Walker brother's/doting on them more after Elias' death and i REALLY resonate with that.

he takes care of his cubs :) definitely gets protective of the two brothers after his best friends death. (also headcannon that Elias and Merrick were closer buds than we got to see. those two definitely drink beer together.) Merrick seems like the kind of guy to have never seen himself as a father figure, its just an instinctive move after Elias dies since the two boys are still pretty young adults. (dunno if the person said all this in their posts, i have zero way of finding them again 😭😭)

(i was getting stuffed animals from build a bear nd making them themed as CoD charachters and i have a bear one as Merrick because of this[lmk if you want a bear!Merrick reveal because i also have doodles of him with bear ears])

Merrick, Merrick, Merrick..

honestly dont really know what to say about this man. i feel like he's extremely un-tech savvy unless its military technology. definitely does that dad squint with his eyes while reading something/trying to figure out how tf a phone works.

OHHH and on the topic of being horridly bad with tech and internet shi, if Logan and Hesh were to ever show Merrick tiktok for any reason, Merrick would probably find himself an addict of the app and incidentally pick up a shit ton of Gen Z humor but have zero idea what ANY of it means.

catch him throwing around old 2019 jokes or being one of those awkward father's who try to relate to the younger demographic by using outdated slang. thats IF he has the confidence to use any of the humor. if anything, i feel like he'd be awfully self conscious about doing so due to his lack of knowledge on it all.

no idea where im going with these headcannons. it is 12am and i am doing my workout routine as i wrote this while sleep deprived. dw im going strong.

but on the topic of HEADCANNONS,,,

Keegan, i feel like, leaned alot on Elias (probably without realizing it). i just see a kinship between Keegan, Elias and Merrick. Keegan seems to be by Merrick's side ALOT and i feel like HE feels he belongs there. not reliant just.. connected. soul brothers, really.

and if it wasnt Logan and Hesh who were fucked up over Elias' death, it was Keegan and Merrick. Merrick lost a bestfriend, Keegan lost a friend maybe even a father/uncle figure.

mostly Merrick gives me uncle vibes, though. Elias is a father figure, someone to lean on / someone to really show you how to do something and help you through hard times with insanely good advice. and Merrick's just the awkward, un-tech savvy uncle. i refuse to elaborate any further.

my personal headcannon for Logan is that hes semi-mute. i dont, personally, headcannon him as someone with full mutism but i do feel like he doesnt speak 90% of the time and shocks everyone whenever he does speak.

Keegan going about his day, saying a brief good morning to Logan and the Walker boy saying a quiet ''morning'' back to the man. has Keegan freeze on the spot, taking a full minute before looking up at Logan. takes a glance at Hesh and the brother merely shrugs, used to Logan's rare speaking.

out of everyone, Logan mostly speaks to Hesh. whenever Logan does speak, i feel like its aimed, USUALLY, at Hesh and nobody else in the room. keeps ot brief but sometimes has an actual back and forth while Merrick and Keegan are just reeling.

Merrick, wanting to help understand Logan better and show he cares more after Elias' death, put time aside to learn sign language for Logan's 'no talk days'. definitely mixes up a few signs and still has alot to learn but it surprises Logan and the man feels heard. definitely better than Logan having to rely on Hesh fully to communicate what Logan's trying to say / Logan having to fumble and point out different things and use unconventional means to try and get something across.

no hcs for Hesh rn..i THINK. actually i think i do have some but i cant remember and am tired. i spent likr an hour writing this yw im so eepy

gonna make a post strictly for Elias hc's because i have ALOT. (can you tell i have daddy issues)

A/N:: if anyone else has done these hcs tell me, im losing my mind over if ive actually seen anyone else have the same thoughts as me or not.

[dyke-a-saur]

Finished watching Heartbreak High and I gotta say, I feel like they pulled off Gen Z High School really well. Like I could go to school with these absolute agents if chaos.

Okay but important business:

Amerie

I loved her the second she popped up on screen. Her energy, her personality, and her friendship with Harper. It was just the best. At times tho, I could see why the other characters antagonized her. After all, it was just as much her map as Harper’s and she put people in awful situations. Not to mention the reveal that she failed to let Harper in, then had the nerve to say she’d always be there. She even did the same to Malakai (tho it’s clear she acted out of trauma from her and Harper’s friendship gone sour)

Dusty

Fuck you. Youse a bitch, a snake, and truly a shit stain on the trousers of humanity. Work on yourself. Big soulful eyes tho.

Ca$h

Arguably the second most emotionally intelligent character in the show? Definitely better at it than Darren and his relationship was so refreshing? It was neat to see it not be a “I like dudes, oh no,” storyline and instead “I’m ace and just need to better express that to my partner who I love and adore”. Also that “I love you scene” was peak ghetto and I loved it. Darren’s Baby Daddy really behind bars, huh?

Malakai

This man. Is so fine. So sweet. And so funny. I love the way he gets to know Amerie and then befriends her and then becomes her first. And even if he handled the peer pressure to talk about the details poorly, he wanted to do right by her. I also loved how they explored the kinship he had with OTHER BLA(c)K CHARACTERS. It was nice to see how much he healed by being in his community and being surrounded by love for his culture. Missy being a big part of that was beautiful.

Harper

I did get the "spoiler" that she went through "something traumatizing" right before the start of the show, then later got more clues from Tumblr. So i had more patience with her character at the start, being honest. But goddamn it was so hard to watch her shut Amerie out and lash out at her. It also sucked seeing her antagonized in the second half because if she could've reached out or accepted people reaching in, then I feel like shit could've been handled better. But after seeing the events of "that night" I could totally get how and why she would want Amerie out of her life. Fake as hell for not owning up to the Incest Map tho. I was constantly whisper-yelling at my phone "girl, get it together!'

Quinni

No notes. Love her. She's the best. Also the most emotionally intelligent character (not a surprise and fuck you Sasha). She helps so many characters process their emotions, make up, figure out wwhat they want, and still stands on her own as a great character with her own life going on. I'm NT, but from what I've seen on Tumblr, most ND people see her as good rep.

Spider

Fuck this guy. Racist, sexist, (not as homophobic as previously assumed), and awful. But I love it. I love when he gets told to shut up. I love it when he's being awful and the other characters are like "yeah, fuck this dude". But also, he was weirdly complex? like the scene where he would've gotten it on with Amerie makes a lot of sense in context of the rest of his behavior. He's overcompensating because someone he genuinely liked, and cared for to an extent, hurt him in a vulnerable place and treated him like a dissapointment. Doesn't give him the right to react with daily verbal abuse, but his character makes more sense that way. I'd like to see him grow from that, but I'm not sure how.

Star of the Show

They're here, they're queer, they're unapologetically BLACK, they. Are. DARREN.

Okay jokes aside, I love this bitch. They're not only a great friend, but they (mostly) know what they want in life. It's sad to see Darren be dismissed as “too much” in their home, and you can really see how its affected the way they view their ability to be loved and cherished. So seeing them find that in Ca$h and watch the relationshp between the two grow was beautiful. It hurt to see Darren hurt Ca$h, like they gay ass ain't know what the "A" in "LGBTQIA" stood for, but that growth and intracommunity hurt was important to see.

Others

Ant annoyed me but he seemed like he could do/be better if he wasn’t around the rest of the guys. Sasha pissed me off, but I hope losing Quinni was enough to actually get her to look at her self-righteous tendencies and work on herself, I wanna see her go far. Missy was a fucking icon and I love her. Ms. Jojo is the love of my life and fuck Spider/Ant/Dusty (nigga) for screwing her over like that. Mrs. Spigot is my literal soulmate.

I think that’s all for now? But yeah go watch it if you haven’t already. It is another show focusing on the sex lives of teens but it feels more authentic than anything we’ve been given before.

[sonicexelle-junkary]

Dude, are you romanticizing awful people like Jeffrey Dahmer or Armin Meiwea by putting up this show? Y’know the families of the victims are still hurt over him to this day… or are you an edgy insensitive person?

Plus, isn’t making him ND and ftm is awfully disrespectful to people from both communities?! My best friend is ftm and he got broke down crying saying how he hates people putting trans people as villains when he saw this.

Not shitting on you or your AU cuz your art is great TBH, just really curious or worried if you’re a Jeffrey Dahmer sympathizer?

FUCK NO! THAT MAN CAN BURN IN THE CENTRE IF HELL FOR ALL I CARE!

Ahem, anyways. I should clarify a few things regarding myself, my aus and what I put into it.

TLDR; I am not justifying or romanticizing cannibalism or peices of shit people like Jeffery Dahmer. I am also not trying to vilanize the trans or Neurodivergent community. I am just having fun with my ideas and art. It is not my intention to cause harm to anyone. It is just me fucking around with ideas.

Sonic isn’t ND and Trans because he’s a cannibal. He’s ND and Trans because he’s ND and Trans!

I, myself, am trans, I am Agender (He/They) and am Neurodivergent, I was diagnosed at a young age. I don’t like to put myself out there because it’s not really anyone’s business to know who I am. I use my art and AU’s as a form of expression, to vent my feelings in bizarre ways. This is not saying that I do wish to cannibalize or kill people, because I DONT and I don’t wish I’ll will on people (who don’t deserve it) either. I am an avid horror and gore lover, and love to create stuff in that genre, though not all the time.

HungryHero.EXE is based on MY PERSONAL HEADCANNONS OF EACH CHARACTER AND SONICS WORLD. It is NOT MY INTENTION to vilanize or create harm to the trans or ND community, or any community in general. As I’ve said, I am part of the trans and ND community myself, and I personally believe that trans rep is needed, good or bad. TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE ASSHOLES CAN EXIST IVE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN EYES. Many other characters in HungryHero.EXE are also part of the LGBT or ND community as well, it’s not just sonic. Shadow himself is Agender and AroAce, even Tails is Autistic.

Sonic being the main character in HungryHero is just what I landed on, as I personally really like him, as well as he just happens to be the face of most Sonic.EXE AU’s. Him being trans and ND in the au was just because I just personally like the concept of him not being cis, as well as I see a lot of myself in him so I project myself onto him, it has NOTHING to do with vilanizing trans or ND people. I am also NOT ROMANTICIZING CANNIBALISM (intentionally). I know that it can be viewed in that way, but I PROMISE it’s not my intention to.

I think that absolutely disgusting people like Jeffery Dahmer should fucking get a punishment WORSE than hell. He has done the most DISGUSTING things I have EVER read a person could do and have not even a smidge of sympathy for others. People like that can die in a ditch and be burned alive for all I care.

If you are worried that HungryHero.EXE is my only au where I put my headcannons in, you’re wrong. I have TONES of AU’s that are not horror based and have Sonic characters being ND or LGBT, even if I haven’t explicitly said it yet. For example: my PIBTLW AU has him being openly gay and into shadow.

Please remember that this blog is just an piece of what I like. I don’t like to post really gruesome and gorey things on my main blog. This blog is not who I am as a whole, I am genuinely a very nice person, at least I try to be. If you still think that I am doing this to harm people, then I don’t know what else to say. You can block me if you like, but I’m not going to stop drawing things that I like to draw just to please people who think differently. I’m sorry, I won’t do that.

That’s all and have a good rest of your day.

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

the whole stigma against self-diagnosing or even recognizing "hey, it's very possible that i have X condition" has fucked me up so badly. everyone in my personal life, from friends i speak to once a year to my literal mom, tells me, "hey, you definitely probably have ADHD," but im so deep in the fucking hole that I won't even let myself THINK about it lest the fakeclaimers ATTACK

Thankfully most people in my experience are quite open to self-diagnosers because they know how difficult it can be to get an official diagnosis. The wait is long, in some places it costs money and yeah it can be quite tricky.

But yeah the video that sparked that was one I saw from a guy who, in his defence, did clarify he wasn’t anti self-diagnosis but a) he said self-diagnosis shouldn’t come from a TikTok (which is fair, but I don’t think the majority of self diagnoses do come from a single tiktok) and b) he was saying he felt some white people claimed to be neurodivergent or even queer because they felt having (white) privilege was a bad thing and wanted to exempt themselves.

When while yeah autistic and lgbtq+ folk can absolutely be racist - there is deffo a big racism problem in areas of the lgbtq+ community that I’ve noticed - their racism doesn’t necessarily mean they’re lying about being ND or their gender or sexual orientation. It just means they’re a shitty person and that their queerness or neurodivergency doesn’t change that.

I don’t even know if this guy was ND himself or queer but even if he is, it was just all round a questionable take imho. I don’t think he was necessarily being intentionally malicious, it just felt…kind of ill-informed.

I hope you are able to do something about it ❤️ I’m currently waiting on an autism assessment and thankfully haven’t experienced any fakeclaimers yet but deffo look into an ADHD assessment if you possibly can!

[monstersinthecosmos]

mother wounds & maker wounds !

So I’ve talked before about generational trauma with vampires and the nature vs nurture aspect of how some of it is behavior, but how maybe the Blood can create an epigenetic thing too that’s just gonna be baked in forever.

BUT LATELY I’ve been daydreaming a lot about the concept of The Mother Wound and how it applies to vampires!!!! And like when you read about Mother Wounds it’s described as generational trauma and it gets brought up a lot that it can be part of family cycles, ie: I raised my child this way because my mom raised me this way, ad infinitum. So I’m interested in looking at like, how the behavior of makers influences their fledglings and what types of assumptions we can make about what it does to you.

And I think if you take any vampire from the books you can kinda ask how it applies, how was their turning traumatic, how did the combination of their deadbeat maker + inherent personality influence their lives and their OWN fledglings. Like, Lestat and Armand for example have extremely different personalities and handled Maker Trauma differently. Lestat continues to breed because he is so desperate for love and afraid of losing people, vs Armand is convinced he’ll be a terrible maker and that it isn’t worth it to hurt your child, so he doesn’t bother. (Except that one time where it became a self-fulfilling prophecy bc he didn’t know how to deal with it after.) Armand is completely cynical about the entire concept that you could have a healthy relationship with your maker because he’s seen it fall apart at every level, from down in the dregs of existence in the cult beneath the cemetery, the meaningless decadent vampires of the Théâtre who barely understand immortality, and all way the up to the absolute ideal of civility and domestic mainstreaming that he got to experience with Marius.

I just find it wild how like, within VC where we are working with Big Brained Vampire Feelings and relationships that exist outside social constructs because of it, which makes the lines between parent/maker/lover very blurry. The love the vampires have for each other is so all encompassing and bigger than human labels & social roles (ie YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING), and yet as a maker you still have a responsibility to usher your fledgling into immortality in a way that doesn’t COMPLETELY TRAUMATIZE THEM and so few of them actually know how to do it.

There’s something hopeful about human relationships in the way we (at least my aro-ace ND ass does, don’t @ me) see the permanence of relationships and the way we measure the hierarchy of loss. Like the way we respect the pain of a romantic breakup and don’t talk about the pain of a friend breakup. It kind of tells us that friendships or romantic relationships can be fleeting, but family bonds are supposed to be permanent. It’s the same way people leaving abusive families or refusing to respect older relatives are shamed for harming the sacred family unit. So it makes me wonder like, when you think of a Maker/Fledgling relationship, especially in a universe where they might live forever, where do we put the permanence of this relationship and how to we romanticize its longevity? The solution in the later books of turning fledglings as a favor to each other seems to be a huge progression for them and a way to avoid some of this. It puts more boundaries between Maker and Lover, where the Maker is providing your life and immortality and doesn’t need to be there for the rest of it.

And especially because of the barrier, it’s like, you CANT be here for the rest of it. You lose the ability to ever truly know each other again. You have to actually develop your verbal communication for this to work and so many of these characters are too fucked up and not ready to do that hhaha. I think there’s a lot of substance in here about like, relating to parents as adults and how that relationship shifts when you grow up. Something similar happens when  you turn someone, maybe, like you’ve given them life and now you don’t know each other anymore. And yet something very antithetical to being a mother when you’ve taken their life in the same moment. HMM.

I just really like the way the universe presents these relationships and how complicated they are. Or maybe they’re decidedly uncomplicated because everyone is just “everything” to you. Your maker is your parent and your lover and your companion, they are your everything. It’s only complicated when you try think about it like a human.

Still, anyway, for funsies. Thinking a lot about Maker Wounds today and how it affected Armand, and how it affected his future relationships and sense of self worth. 😊

 I was reading this article on PsychologyToday.com about mother wounds if you wanna read it and learn more about what they are and what they do to you and how you fix them haha. BUT FOR FUNSIES, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CTRL+F AND REPLACE TO VAMPIRE WORDS?? 

 The best way to think of the maker wound is a loss or a lack of makering. This is typically a deficit in the maker-fledgling relationship that is passed down through generations, and it is a reflection on how we have experienced parenting and how we parent. While not a specific diagnosis, it is a way of looking at how current codependency behaviors may be linked to missing elements in the past.

(Lol MAKERING good word)

So anyway I’m thinking about this concept a lot regarding Armand and I’m sure you could really take any set in the series and look for some of these patterns. But my main thing about Armand that I think harmed him the most was that

- Marius was very rigid with the person he expected Armand to be 

- Marius never rescued him.

When you look back at some of the times Marius was especially cruel to him (I always think about when he hits Armand for crying about his dad or whatever lol) and like all of Marius’s bullshit about I WANT YOU TO CHALLENGE ME … but wait not like that ! it’s like, was Armand just floundering with the cult and wondering what he did wrong?  (See also: Armand’s defectiveness schema haha)

It’s a loss he can experience twice—on one hand, if he didn’t think Marius survived the fire, there’s no reason to think that he would worry about this aside from dealing with the grief of losing his maker. But if he believed Marius was strong enough to make it, or if he had any indication that Marius survived, that gives him a few hundred years to feel bad about himself and wonder if he’s not worth saving. Then of course, when he learns that Marius is alive (from Lestat’s book?) he can go through it again. 

Like there’s always going to be two sides to a reunion like that. Half might be: I’m so happy that you’re alive, and the other half is: Wait you were alive that whole time and never came to get me wtf

I feel like Armand’s early life and even his centuries in the cult are so rich with trauma and grief, though. He loses and loses and loses. He was devout as a human, ready to dedicate himself to living in caves, and it makes me wonder if the cult felt right to him, like he got there anyway. Maybe he looked at his time with Marius as a brief period of sin. It’s no wonder that he doesn’t know how to fuckin behave haha. 

But you look back at what happened with Marius and it makes sense that some of his wounds and insecurities show up the way they do. 

 These types of feelings reduce self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and feelings of worthiness to have a positive relationship. Individuals with a maker wound always feel incomplete and lacking in their ability to connect with others, while also having deeply rooted feelings about the need for perfection and control.

It feels kinda similar to the way Louis is like GUY WHO IS TURNED WHILE SUICIDAL, like they all have something that kinda sticks with them, I think. Like something about their mortal lives that gets written into their personality. Armand was not rescued! 

Here’s some other fun stuff from the article:

Signs of the Maker Wound

·  Never feeling they had their maker's approval or acceptance

·  Concerns about not being loved by their maker or not being loved as much as other siblings or family members

·  Difficulties in relating to the maker on an emotional level

·  Uncertainty about the relationship with the maker and if it could be lost with a mistake or an accident

·  Always trying to do better or to be perfect, to attempt to gain your maker's attention and acceptance

·  Feelings of having to protect, care for, or shelter your maker rather than them protecting, caring for and sheltering you

It’s funny like most of what we know about Armand’s relationships and how he behaves in them is from everyone’s POV except his own. So it’s almost like unfair to try to figure out how he is, how he feels, what last effect abandonment has on him when we’re not hearing it FROM HIM. But it’s like oscillates between being a needy baby or being a weird monster. I’m thinking of like, the “Love me” and pathetic way he threw himself at Lestat & Gabrielle, also the way he takes charge as a cult leader, also the way he introduced himself to Daniel. I just think there’s such a deep need for acceptance, but when that fails or when he’s too afraid to be vulnerable he’s gotta just be rigidly in control to cope with it. 

Anyway I don’t have a graceful offramp here, I just wanted to yell about this a little LOL. Also I wanna share one more bit from the article because it feels really potent to me:

These are makers who may provide for the physical needs of the fledglings, and even interact with the fledglings in a positive way, but simply do not provide the deep love and attention that all fledglings require. They may not have been abusive or neglectful, and they may never have engaged in negativity in their relationships with the fledglings, but they were also always distant and less tuned-into the emotional needs of their fledglings.

This one sums them up the most to me, I think. Like the way Marius provided for him even when it’s maybe not exactly what he needed. Giving him every material luxury he could need but slapping him because he’s sad. It’s such an enormous pressure to live up to. 

Rewinding back it’s so interesting because when you look at it as a family pattern like, Marius was abandoned by his maker too, even if it was a different circumstance. Marius would have also had to go through that loss more than once; if he ever imagined Teskhamen survived and couldn’t find him, or if he ever wondered why Teskhamen didn’t come to him sooner. Especially a vampire like Marius who was so known in the vampire world, and someone like Teskhamen who had connections to the Talamasca. But there’s sort of a thing here of like, my maker didn’t teach me how to vampire, I had to figure it out myself. But then he fucks up with Armand so bad that Armand falls into the “my dad sucks so I wouldn’t be a good dad” space. 

It kills me that we don’t know more about what happened with Daniel, when they drifted apart, how he wound up with Marius, etc. I tend to wonder if Armand fulfilled his own destiny by convincing himself he’d be a bad maker to the point where he barely tried. 

And where does that leave Daniel with all of this? Idk.

The thing ultimately that makes these stories so fantastical is that they have all the time in the world to heal, to grow, to get past grudges. This is what the article lists as solutions on how to heal this wound:

·  Exploring the feelings of the inner child and allowing those feelings of being ignored, unloved, unwanted, or not valued to be expressed in a safe, therapeutic environment.

·  Learning to validate and love ourselves creates a positive emotional and mental picture of our lives as they are in the present time, letting go of the past concept of self-developed by our interactions with our maker.

·  Setting boundaries—creating a relationship with the maker that is based on your needs and the ability of the maker to change and contribute to your emotional needs in a healthy, positive, and fulfilling way.

I wonder if Daniel has a hand in that, in bringing the two of them together. 

Personally I’ve always felt like, I don’t “””ship””” Armand & Marius because I think they’re awful for each other lol but there’s just so much unhealed baggage here. But, like I was saying, vampire relationships are so different from the real world. I would love if they could simply coexist, be there for each other as needed, love each other safely. I’ve talked enough so I don’t want to get distracted with like all the work they’d have to do to fix it and how they’d have to build a new version of their relationship that exists in the present but it’s nice to see that there’s a way through and I hope Daniel can help them.

I WONDER WHAT DANIEL’S FLEDGLINGS WILL BE LIKE — !!  🥸

[jakowskis]

s2 time! i'm not gonna be as thorough with it as i was w s1 bc i'm not a huge fan of season 2 ff but here goes

(this post's gonna be tosh/owen + some fragments talk, then i'm gonna reblog with a day in the death stuff, and then ill make a separate post for adam bc. woo nelly. that one warrants it.)

so lets start with the tosh/owen differences. a lot of their little scenes in s2 are markedly different - mostly as far as body language. there's a surprising amount of physical affection between them.

four separate occasions (eps 3, 4, 8, and 9) where there's physical affection between them in the script that didn't make it into the episode. i find this intriguing. tosh and owen are both very... non-affectionate people. both of them could be, with someone they loved romantically, but they don't strike me as the type of people who like to cuddle with their friends. they're both naturally very aloof and non-touchy, which makes that casual physical touch very ooc. i imagine that's why it didn't end up on screen. i figure the writers here knew the show was meant to push the tosh/owen angle in s2, but it's interesting to me that it ended up being a lot more subtle and... awkward in the show itself. i've already said i'm not a towen fan, for many reasons, but one is that there's just... zero chemistry between them (in s2, anyway). every interaction is forced and uncomfortable. it's weird enough that i was thrown off by it for a long time and couldn't figure out what the show was trying to do with them, lmao. i know that their awkwardness probably appeals to some people, and is cute or smth, but i dislike it personally. mostly i'm just petty the show reduced tosh down to that relationship tbh but whatever.

i can't help but wonder if they had this casual physical affection with each other, and if it fit in and didn't feel ooc for them, if i would like them as a couple more. but honestly i have thought about what the show could've done to make tosh/owen endear me, and i don't think uncharacteristic physical affection would be it. i do like that first scene, the way their communication styles clash a bit and they don't know quite how to talk to each other. i like owen awkwardly trying to comfort her, i love when he does that, how it's like a baby deer walking for the first time fhsdjfkds. im very endeared by the way owen's empathy is either out of nowhere and all-consuming, or something he has to force and is awkward about wielding. whenever he tries to be kind it's very tentative, because it doesn't come natural to him (anymore, at least), but he does care enough to try. i'm so fond of it. also hes sooo nd ehehe. tosh too.

will say this: i do appreciate owen getting hugs. he does need it. tosh needs it too. if the team WAS physically affectionate with each other they'd be better off, i think.

two more tosh/owen things...

see, this is what i mean when i say i couldn't tell what the show was doing with them. the SHOW can't even tell. this whole scene is written very vaguely, with little insight into owen's head, like the damn writer doesn't even know why he finally agreed. this is probably my, like, fourth favorite tosh/owen scene, which isn't saying much, 'cause i still don't really like it. it's cute in like, three spots, but mostly it just feels... weird. i don't understand what burn was intending with his acting choices, because owen comes across as insincere and slightly snide. it's weird and gross, and it rubs me wrong. i don't know if he's trying to be casual and play it cool or something, but the way he laughs at her makes me wanna punch him. the way owen treats tosh is just about the only place i legitimately can't stand him.

one last bit about it. see, 'fondly'. in the actual scene, i would describe the way owen looks at her in this moment as.... amused (at her expense) and slightly condescending. like he thinks she's laughable. it fucking bothers me. which sucks because i wanna like them, i do. i think they could be compatible. but the way he treats her in canon is nauseating and i can't get behind it.

right, and then two fragments moments i wanna discuss

all i really wanna say here is again (as mentioned in my end of days talk), chibnall didn't specify owen crying or anything, but he spends his whole segment of this ep in tears. point is i wanna thank burn gorman for the way owen constantly is teary eyed and miserable, with those big pretty brown doe eyes of his. it means the world to me. thats all

actually it's not all cuz i also wanna point out jack grabbing owen to stop him instead of owen collapsing into tears and sobbing into jacks chest while jack holds him. the dead man walking script similarly didn't specify the physical touch between jack and owen in the three places it appears, so i imagine that was largely something decided by the actors... i'm very compelled by the three separate instances where we see owen attack jack one minute / at one point in the ep and then sob in his arms the next. their relationship is sooo unhealthy fff

[beardedmrbean]

Hmm I was watching this video https://youtu.be/DHF8LdiFhW8?si=U3QcuoufihSLEONt

And in the comments they pointed out that parents of the 50’s were children on the Great Depression. Which got me thinking

As you know a lot of people who came from poverty goes crazy when they get famous or successful. The…black community is like that as we can barely comprehend so much wealth at once. Not all as many are slick enough to start their own record labels, clothing, etc.

But that comment got me thinking about the great generation. I can only imagine how crazy they went with the fact they grew up in the Great Depression and then boom the USA is on top of the world. Then they sent their kids to college who got brained that Kinsey studies was good for society.

Yes I know the previous generations prior to boomers had libidos, I mean look at Walt’s and his colleagues/competitors works when the female body got more defined in cartoons.

But we really need to look into the boomers upbringings and their parents prior to prevent another one.

I wish this was the stawman it looks like but I've seen this all before on here.

Wonder if they'd be terribly shocked at how much "GAY" was ignored in the 50's and beyond.

Couple of teachers at the Christian (ND but Pentecostal run) school I went to, ladies that had a duplex they rented next to each other and always had neither one married or dated that anyone knew of and they were just "really good friends" and had been forever. Both taught 5th grade too.

Didn't even click for me what was likely going on till I was in my 20's and they drifted into my head for some reason, but ya that was in the 80's that was going on.

The arguments about divorce and women not having their own bank accounts honestly hold a lot more water.

The…black community is like that as we can barely comprehend so much wealth at once. Not all as many are slick enough to start their own record labels, clothing, etc.

Herb from "Peaches and Herb" was working well here

"Once again, Fame returned to law enforcement and joined the U.S. Marshals Service in 1986 as a deputized court security officer at the U.S. Court of Appeals for Veterans Claims."

Big part of that I think was him getting shafted on royalties, but initial payouts still should have kept him comfortably middle class for life after the 3rd peaches.

Then we have MC Hammer and Mike Tyson, though being shit with handling money and the fame that comes with it isn't exclusive to any one group regardless of the demographic they're in.

Thankfully the lawyers and accountants are getting better at convincing people to knock it the fuck off so we don't wind up with.

To be fair to Willie his accountants had screwed him and there were some bad investments, oversight of accountants is also part of the bit above this with the getting them to knock it the fuck off part.

Ted Nugent ran into similar, but the accountants had made some really bad investments instead of just flat out not paying his taxes for years.

But ya guys like Dre, Jay Z, Beyonce, and Rhianna from that end of the spectrum have done very well, Michael Jackson for all his eccentricity made some great investments that should be enough to keep his grandkids doing wonderfully even. (as long as they still have half the Beatles catalouge at least)

As for libidos, we been horny since the dawn of horns it got played down some round WW1 or so and people started to reset their memories, there's some nasty stuff out there from the Victorian to Edwardian ages.

[alabasterandpitch]

This is probably gonna end up a garbled word salad. I'm just vomiting my insecurities, please don't take this too seriously

Realtalk, the Tumblr community is a wonderful place to find like-minded folks who share your fucked up interests and obsessions and mental illnesses, and it's honestly really nice to share that with someone as I start down the neuro-questioning rabbit hole myself. I don't think I really appreciated how closed-off I'd let that part of myself get these last few years.

But shit if this site doesn't make me feel like hot garbage as a (semi)straight man sometimes. And on some level I get it; even if we're not all oppressive agents of The Patriarchy™, there's a lot of privilege being seen as part of the in-group of society's Default Setting™. Even though I don't really fit the typical ideal of masculinity in a lot of ways, I'm still spared a tremendous amount of grief purely by virtue of being visibly male-presenting, so I'm hardly the target-demographic on Tumblr. I have my own axe to grind with societal perceptions and expectations of masculinity, but we'll save that for another day.

Tumblr is a community that focuses on uplifting and empowering marginalized groups and bringing together artists and weirdoes and eccentrics and people who might otherwise feel utterly isolated and alone, and that's such an amazing and laudable thing. I think it's more necessary than ever in the world today to have communities that celebrate all sorts of marginalized people that we don't see reflected in Mainstream Society's version of things, whether they be LGBTQ+, POC, ND, or anyone who wants to break free from the box of restrictive societal norms they feel trapped by.

Believe me, the absolute last thing I wanna do as a straight(ish) cis man is show up at The Designated LGBTQ+ Hellsite™ and start whining: 'bUt WhAt AbOuT mE?1?!?'.' But I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel a little shitty sometimes to rediscover such a vibrant community of people I can actually relate to, who makes my weird brain feel a little less alone, only to feel like I stumbled uninvited into a party nobody wants me at.

I guess I often don't feel like I'm intrinsically desirable as a man on the scrawny, introverted end of the spectrum (hardy har), and I know that's on me to deal with in therapy.

It would just be nice to see a little more male-positivity

To all the lads, boys, men -- whatever word you want! -- out there, you're fuckin killin' it dude and I'm goddamn proud of you. Don't hesitate to check in with yourself and dump out all the emotional shit from time to time, and for the love of all that is holy, don't give yourself a second less time and love than you would give to your dearest friend in need.

My asks are always open if you wanna vent to someone who knows the struggle.

[heartfucksmouth]

I know this is obvious but being a patent is really fucking hard. like,harder than it ever has been! and being chronically ill on top of it.... my support system is either OTHER chronically ill people or parents who are also struggling to stay afloat and never have time to use their phone to communicate either.

how. how do we fix this?! I'm not even good at having friends...

I didn't even think I'd be alive at this age. being alive, and a parent, and sick and nd and like just surviving what I've survived? I'm a great mom bc of who I am and then im also triggered/overloaded/meltdown bc of who I am lol

ughhh brain isn't braining good ever anymore and I need to wake up in like 6 hours. I hope I can nap tomorrow. I hope things get easier. my body isn't enjoying this phase of not-crawling but wanting to walk everywhere ASSISTED BY MOMMY ONLY. MOMMY IS GOD.

like thanks, tiny human. im the center of your universe and that blows my mind, but also you're beating the crap out of me and my back is going to crumble to dust.

(I'm just venting, he's amazing and yes every day is difficult right now but EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY is what's getting me through the day)

also I miss art and plants and sleeping and having bodily autonomy lmao

[here-kittykitty]

I'm sorry if this is too personal or offensive, but I had a question.

What's your experience with sex and romance as someone on the acearo spectrum? Like, how do you go about interacting with these things and what are your feelings? What are some boundaries and hard-nos?

I know not everyone has the same experience, but I feel like hearing a personal account would help me better understand. I just want to support everyone in this queer world we live in.

(ive also come to love an aroace character in a fandom recently)

Okay this is kinda complicated BUT

I have a really complex relationship with sexual and romantic attraction. Mental stuff like autism and bpd and bipolar influence how I go about my sex life and kinda muddle the lines between platonic and romantic and sexual in very confusing ways. Not to mention my sexual trauma and how that effects who I trust enough to have sex with.

I have a very fluctuating identity which I feel is very hard to solidly label so when I say I'm queer I mean it in a sort of I'm Everything way, but I am very solidly on the acearo spectrum. I don't feel a lot of sexual attraction but I do have a very high sex drive and I like chemistry and banter so I enjoy having sex if I know I'll have fun with them. Explicitly romantic relationships ick me out sometimes but if my autism-bpd combo latches onto you I crave it a lot, and outside of that I enjoy affection and showing love and having a life partner.

One of my "boundaries"(maybe?) is that I don't really fuck with neurotypicals lmao. I know that sounds weird and all but I have very specific needs when it comes to sex and how I need to be treated and from my experience ND (specifically fellow autistics) are better communicators when it comes to sex. I also need to really work up to the kink suff because again, trauma. So if it's a regular hookup it'd take like 4-5 hookups for me to feel comfortable with like degradation and impact play but if they're a close friend I've known for years I'd probably be chill with doing that after like, one fuck. does that make sense? probably not I have a system lmao. Hard nos are like, just kinda soft intimate sex unless that's an explicit part of our relationship and also like possessive degradation. Yknow that kind of "youre mine you belong to me" talk, that's got a lot of weight to it I feel

All in all it really depends on the person I'm with and what's discussed. If it's a fictional character then have fun with it!!! Look at their characterization and think about what they'd be comfortable with, what sort of person they would be okay with, if they'd even want it at all, do they enjoy sex but not romance, is it vice versa, explore some unconventional ship dynamics, the worlds your oyster babes✨✨

[sharkpetals]

Can we P L E A S E fucking talk about how "Haru's always smiling on the inside" is a FANTASTIC way to communicate flat affect to neurotypicals???

I made this comment on Twitter but needed more room bc I have so many opinions on this lmao.

One of these days I'll make a long post about why Haruka Nanase is one of the best autistic reps I've seen in anime, but that's another rant. Specifically right now I just have to marvel at how his flat affect is normalized and accepted in full by his peers, and how special it is that none of them insert a narrative onto his flat affect of apathy. It is so easy for neurotypical brains to misinterpret flat affect, because the NT brain is built with body language/facial expression literacy naturally, in a way the ND brain is not. So often NT individuals do not put in the extra time and energy to learn their ND loved ones' signs of happiness or sadness or empathy, even though ND individuals have to do that with NTs and frankly aren't given much choice in the matter (that's a WHOLE can o' worms lmao). The fact that Haru's friends not only understand him and accept him BUT ALSO successfully and succinctly communicate his flat affect with those who don't know him as well is SUCH a breath of fresh air. "Haru's always smiling on the inside" perfectly communicates the type of person Haru is and that it might not always show on his face, but it's there regardless. It seamlessly says so much with so little and without having to have an entire conversation about "why Haru is different from everyone else", which would alienate him rather than normalize a very NORMAL ND trait. It's just. It's so beautiful and makes me endlessly happy.

(As a note, I'm not talking out of my ass on ND v NT matters. I grew up with an autistic sibling who was nonverbal the first 8 years of their life and have worked with autistic youths a lot over the years in various contexts. I have confirmed ADHD myself, though I have not been officially tested for the ASD spectrum. It's a topic I'm passionate about and endeavor to speak about knowledgeably, though if anyone on the ASD spectrum finds anything I say offensive, I'm more than willing to listen.)

[madfantasy]

I cried my eyes out on and before my birth date, i thinking, reaching a new level of sudden burts of tears and dehydration – my throat felt like i had cold after. Its because I'm now a newer digit & nothing major have changed my whole life and only seems my resilience and power have declined to a point even drawing, which is my sanity,  my sanctuary,  my solace and fuel to live- the only thing I did consistingly for 8 hours a day or more, I can't do more than a few & in between days..

I prayed to God to take me, I'm still here clearly

One guardians also had the gall to ask me, while saying that they don't wanna anger me, now I'm 30 will I "inroll" for it now? For a split second I thought they ment I take a loan or something but no ofc its the same degeneracy of thinking that will never change. To marry and poop children. To restart the servant cycle that I have already endured with raising my 5 siblings that they completely checked out on the majority of the time and reached me a hazardous retching level of despising children and never really had a childhood because of it.

I was always the caretaker even with the people who I'm supposed to be friends with and I refuse to do so any more I REFUSE TO O REFUSE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

I screamed at them obviously, told them you already know my stance and how it hurt me every time this brought up, cuz already if u don't have family connections or you're poor, theres no chance. Just no chance. I know this society runs on the idea of pooping out family and supports no independence specially if u don't have the right peeing tools, even if its "advancing"..

Again they bring up its religiously required but they will not force it on me, I can't even bring up to them how the concept of sex makes me want to die rather then even consider it, but I stop myself and walked away, them still talking about how they only wanted to know

They at least know I want to live, I fucking did not have a proper underwear untill I started getting commissions, literally had nothing and still nothing, as I see my efforts fail horrendously to my fault lacking in my own surroundings or online social cues, school almost driven me mad so there's no hope for work or anyone to consider me.. I'm not even on square one of recovery, rather on -100

My other guardian unprompted told me that's not realistic, when later I told them I found something to hope for and it made me feel better.. I told them I need to have hope why u say this while our fucking life IS ALREADY UNREALISTIC YET IT STILL HAPPENING!! In a community u can't even walk 2 steps without everyone's in your business and social with u, weather u like it or not, yet we lived almost our entire lives completely isolated. Completely cut off the world to a point my latest baby sib having troubles speaking Arabic and understanding the concept of people. Poverty and having horrible extended family were the main excuses to this but they have not taken any chance to change anything, either.

Literally I couldn't tell my story to anyone cuz of how unbelievably exaggerated the issues are. And I can't do anything unless I want to ruin not only my life, but all of my sibs too. The previous  tries proved so..

.. so hopeless my chest hurt.. I can't get up from bed less my sib see my swollen face.. I still have to laugh nd play with them, nd only share my sorrow here

[austerlitzborodinoleipzig]

For @bacchianas who wanted sad stories from work.

M called me last week because she needs advice. What for? Well she's wondering whether she should dump her abusive boyfriend or marry him. When I say abusive guy has hit her, raped her, stolen her money, repeatedly insulted her and manipulated her.

P is pregnant. Another of our beneficiaries is the father. He wants her to keep it. She doesn't but is scared about announcing it to the guy.

Btw that guy ? We're worried about him because he's mostly dating 15 yo. The guy is 23. Granted with a mental disability which means he looks Nd thinks like a teenager but still. Showed interest toward another beneficiary but upon learning that she's 20 jokingly (?) said she's too old. P. otoh is 25, but still...

N. today as we told her that we got her an appointment with a nutritionist (she wants to lose weight) : "he's not gonna tell me to undress and then touch me, and he's not gonna yell at me for being fat ? I just had a bad experience once".

D. today talking about his brother: "oh yeah, dad threw him out of the house because he kept stealing mom's money to buy weed. He's living with grandma now."

The educator "is he getting any help" ?

D : "Nah, he's robbing grandma instead. Good for him"

The educator: "let me get this straight, robbing mom isn't ok but robbing grandma is ?"

D shrugs.

C's father reportedly beat the crap out of him for lending his sister his electronic cigarette. Sister actually took it without permission but the father wouldn't believe him.

A woman bringing her niece at the daycare today. She's tired, has scratches all over her face. How was the weekend I ask? Complicated she answers.

Worst is I'm furious at some educators because they want to suspend A. for being rude and for trying to hit one of their colleagues. Yes but y'all just changed A's daily routine without consulting and properly communicating with him. A is autistic. No he doesn't want to go eat with everyone at the Chinese restaurant. He doesn't care that it's a party. He also refused to go spend the weekend at the apartment because his friend who as supposed to go with him is ill and A doesn't want to be with people he doesn't know.

"who the fuck does he think he is?" Says one educator. And who the fuck are you ? He spent the morning with me in my office. I asked him to sort the keys which he loved doing. Then I just warned him that I had no issues with him staying with him but as I'm working I wouldn't be available to talk. He nodded and just sat there.