#my mum tries to get me to say I’m a lesbian every time I see her

[bloodclotbitch]

Having to come out as not straight is a funny concept cause literally every time I’ve told someone I’m bi their reaction has been ‘oh…you’re not gay!?’ like me personally I’m having to come out as hetero

[jadedxrealityw]

-Rivals- Hermione Granger x Female Reader

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody: I’m using the owls grading system for the story so if that’s not right, sue me i guess idk. 

    Movie/Show: Harry Potter, ignoring the storyline

    House/Year: Ravenclaw / 7th year

    Request:  Can I request a bold ravenclaw reader (her attitude almost could pass as a slytherin ngl) she's been Hermione's rival when it comes to grades and they DON'T get along very well. Reader is the opposite of mione's reserved personality. But rivals don't kiss and make out with each other secretly in the lavatory 😭 pls enemies to lovers (with some tension;) ykyk and then one day, they walk the great hall hand in hand and everyone is like don't they find each other insufferable?

    Possible Triggers/Warnings: if you don’t like lesbians get the hell off my page, sexual tension, enemies to lovers trope, cursing

    ☼-☪-☼

    love came unexpectedly at times, you learned that at young age from fairy tales and such. Well all kids did, but kids eventually grew up and came to the realization that fairy tales were exactly what they were, fairy tales. Fiction. Not real. 

    people could call you cold hearted or rude, but you would describe yourself as blunt or brutally honest. Never afraid to speak your mind or point out injustice when you saw fit. To put it simpler terms, professors at Hogwarts preferred you didn’t speak at times. 

    “Your too outspoken Ms. L/n” 

    “Stick to your academics Ms. L/n”

    “You wouldn’t be in detention so much so if kept your mouth shut Ms. L/n”

    merlin, you were exhausted of hearing your own last name. You guessed the only reason you weren’t reprimanded as worse as the Weasley Twins was because you were one of Hogwarts brightest witches, always excelled in academics, in every subject. 

    you couldn’t explain it to others even if you tried other then it just came naturally. Your parents, when they were attended Hogwarts were both just as naturally skilled in there studies as you were. So you must have inherited there ‘big brain’ as your mother said many times before.

    you were never one to gloat though, it was never your style. You were more humble about what you could accomplish. That was until she got involved. That egoistical, hypocritical, Gryffindor girl. Hermione Granger became the bane of your existence early into your fifth year. 

   until then Ms. Granger had been the top of all her classes, no one even came close to her intelligence, naming her ‘The Brightest Witch At Hogwarts’ and Hermione wore that title with pride. Being a Muggle born put a target on her head as well as stereotypes.

    most students and some staff almost immediately came to the conclusion she wasn’t capable of achieving goals that regular half or pure bloods could. It was a terrible way to think, but it was unfortunately the reality of being involved with the wizarding world. 

   Hermione was lucky to have friends like she did that cared about her no matter who she was or what she became, but it didn’t stop her need to feel validated in her academics. It was the one thing no one could giver her shit for, because she was the best at it and no one else was. 

   until that fateful fifth year that was mentioned earlier. It was the time when you finally got your mind and heart into your studie. You blew past most of the student body rather quickly, earning the title of the fastest turn around at Hogwarts.

    it was nice

    then it wasn’t, for Hermione of course 

    ☼-☪-☼

    fifth year / past

    “It seems we have two students with an Outstanding this time around” Professor Flitwick spoke as the exams from the previous week had landed neatly onto the wooden desk in front of you. “congratulations Ms. Granger and Ms. L/n”

    Hermione’s head perked up like a cat who had heard a bag of hard food shake from the nest room over, eager. She had never heard that name before, it didn’t come as much as an surprise though considering how big Hogwarts was. She leant to the left where Harry Potter sat. 

    “Who’s L/n? Do you know her?” she asked, casually though Harry knew her better then most. He gave her a half hearted shrug “No clue, try Ron” he suggests. Hermione nods once before leaning over to the right, where the Weasley sat, scowling at his exam. 

    “Mum’s going to kill me” he muttered, bringing no reaction to Granger’s face. He never studied. “Ron, do you know who this L/n is?” she repeated the question she gave to Harry. Ron turns his head away from the parchment and to Hermione. 

   his brows furrowed as he searches the corners of his mind for where he had heard the name from, until the visible light bulb popped over his head- well not so visible actually. “Oh um- Y/n L/n. she’s a Ravenclaw, her parents are certified geniuses. They work at the ministry. Department of magical education”

   his words did not soothe the wracking thought in the young Granger’s mind. “Certified geniuses?” Hermione echos. “If that’s so how come she’s only getting Outstandings now? she must have cheated somehow” she thought aloud. 

    “I surely didn’t cheat”

   like an owl Hermione’s head turned over her shoulder, her two Gryffindor pals doing the same. In her sight was a girl, her age, in a Ravenclaw robe. She had S/C skin with H/L H/C hair and E/C eyes that were staring back at her. Hermione was almost stunned into silence- keyword being almost. 

    “the explain the good grade all of the sudden, L/n?”

   you looked rather confused. You had never met the girl and she was accusing you of cheating because you had never gotten an Outstanding before? Was this a prank of some sort or fever dream? “I studied for once. You have no right accusing me, i don’t even know you that well”

    Harry placed a hand upon Hermione’s shoulder, signaling for her to stop before she caused a scene. Looking back, she should have listened “No right? I have a right to point out people who are just trying to cheat their way through school while people like us actually care about our grades”

    what the Gryffindor girl wasn’t expecting was for you to start laughing. Her friend, Cho Chang joining in, finding it just as equally hilarious. Hermione’s face turned just as bright as Ron’s hair. “What is so funny?” you and Cho slowly come to a stop, breathing in and out. 

    “what’s funny is that your ego is so incredibly large, so much so that it can’t comprehend that someone, not a Gryffindor either was able to match your intelligence. Now shove off ” you said it all with a grin on your face, because you certainly knew you were right. 

    and from that day, you both despised each other

    ☼-☪-☼

    seventh year / present

    and with every exam, every questioned called on by a teacher, you fastly became Hermione’s rival. It was a term Cho used, but you didn’t really see it that way since you weren’t competing with her. You never studied harder to make sure you got the same grade, never tried to sabotage her in any way. 

    you didn’t care much about it actually

    but you did quite enjoy her face, the way her nostrils flared up an her cheeks turned a bright red in anger. It was cute seeing her so mad. Sending er a wink or sly grin when she glared at you became a daily routine as well. When at first you ignored her you now loved annoying her.

    never having to say a word was probably your favorite part. 

    that’s probably when feelings began to mix into it, but you either didn’t notice or refuse to acknowledge them at all. You genuinely thought you hated this girl, so why in the world would you ever think you liked her? Makes sense, right? Were not even going to mention the questioning your sexuality.

    “Sit still while i pass out your exams from yesterday. Once you recieve your paper you may get up and leave” 

    “You think if Snape got laid he wouldn’t be such a prick?” the Slytherin boy spoke, leaning towards you. turning your head ever so slightly, you lock eyes with Draco “Why are you even sitting here?” you whisper back, giving him a mock astonished look.

   he rolls his grey eyes, shrugging his shoulders “You never talk to me outside of class anymore” he grumbles. Is he- Is this- What is happening? “That’s because your a little shit and pushed Neville in the hallway yesterday” yeh, you caught his dumbass. 

    Draco’s eyes widen a bit, not knowing you had been in the hallway during the crime. “You saw that?- what are you his protector?” he says, clearly as an insult, but oh little did he know that you were indeed exactly what he just said and would say it with pride.

    ��Yes-”

    “Ms. L/n, Outstanding as usual as well Mr. Malfoy. Good work, the both of you” Snape places the exams in front of each of you, but you were both to busy staring in shock. This bitter, old, mean, crude man just compliment you. Merlin, you had finally gotten fathers approval

    (what in the fuck am i writing)

    “Is this heaven?” Draco questioned, staring bug eyed forward. 

    “No”

    “How do you know?”

    “Cormac is here”

    “Yeah your right, feelings over” both you and Draco sighed, turning to look at each other before laughing quietly. He was a pretty chill dude sometimes. “What!?” the loud screech filled your ears. All heads turned behind you, so you followed that and saw the one and only Hermione Granger. 

    she was huffing and puffing. You feared for the stick and straw houses in the world for a moment. Harry quickly stood up and pushed her shoulders down, forcing her back into her seat “I've never gotten an Exceeds Expectations before” Hermione sputters out. 

    she

    got

    what

    now?

    oh this was rich, absolutely hilarious, so much so that Draco had already began to laugh. “Poor Granger, guess you really aren’t the brightest witch” he taunted. Hermione looked up, glaring daggers at the Slytherin. Merlin, he had such a big mouth.

    then her brown eyes strayed to you, but you only pursed your lips together, providing her no emotion to work off of. In a haste, she collected her things, leaving the cursed exam on the table nd rushing out the door, both Ron and Harry calling out for her. 

    fuck

    standing up, you grab your bag and look down at Draco. His laughter comes to an end and he looks up at you “What?” he asked. You copied his dementor singers from third year, making him look at your hands. You took that time to reach down and flick his forehead. 

    he pulls away, his palm rubbing his head in circles “Bloody hell, what was that for?!” he exclaimed. What an idiot. “This is why we don’t hang out” you deadpan before finally going to exit the classroom, leaving a grumbling, mumbling Draco. Something about you being  ‘mean friend’

    ☼-☪-☼

    only having ten minutes until Charms class you began to search the halls. Merlin where had she run off too? The school wasn’t THAT big- okay maybe it was. You had almost called quits, making a mental note to check up on her during lunch when you passed the restroom.

    sniffling and crys were heard. You’ll admit, it kind off hurt to hear. Taking a few steps backwards, you use the palm off your hand to slowly push the door open so it wouldn’t creak like the old shit it was. When it was open just enough for you to fit through, you slip in. 

    gazing around, you see Hermione bent over the sink, sobbing. You could hear her voice becoming rougher by the second as she destroyed her vocal cords. “Granger?” you say, staying a few feet behind her. Hermione looks up in the mirror, spotting you behind her. 

    her distraught expression quickly shifted to anger “You” she seethed. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Me?” you say back, crossing your arms. “Leave me the hell alone L/n!” she shouts, angry tears flooding down her cheeks. Raising your hands, you offer your surrender.

    “Shit, sorry. I was just trying to see if you were okay” you admit. Hermione turns on her heels, facing you directly this time before speaking “Oh so now your my friend, your a bully! All you do is step on my toes and try to make me look like a fool!”

    “Are you on fucking drugs Granger? Not once have i ever gone out my way to harm you of any sort. Your the one who is obsessed with trying to be better then me and i never gave a shit. I never wanted to be your rival for three years and i certainly never bullied you!”

    the words you spoke went out one of Hermione’s ears and out the other. For someone as smart as her, she could be quite dense when angry “You don’t get to play the saint, L/n! I have spent those three years studying as hard as i can and you don’t even have to try!” 

   throwing your hands up in the air a crazy person because she was honestly starting to make your brain hurt quite a bit, you laugh loudly “Oh my- no one asked you too! What is so wrong with us being the same?! ” you shouted, finally raising your voice as much as she had.

    “Because your not a Muggle! You don’t know what it’s like to have everyone you meet already assume your not worth their time just because your parents aren’t witches or wizards!” she crept towards you and which each step she took you took a step right the fuck back.

    this chick wasn’t going to hit you, right?

    “I have never judged you for your blood status Granger, i frankly could care less. What i do judge you for is you know, the giant ego thing” you spat back only causing her to gasp in offense “I do not have an ego!” she yells, stepping into your boundaries basically.

   you had tried to back up like before, but you were pressed up against a wall at this point. “Yes you do and it’s as big as Hagrid!” you reply. Hermione grabs the collar of your white uniform shirt, pulling you down a bit so her face was inches from yours, trying to intimidate you.

    “Take it back!” she threatens. In that moment your eyes scanned her face, noting her almost perfect skin, her brown eyes that looked more hazel up close then far away, and her lips. They looked so soft and inviting. You couldn’t quite understand why you were thinking like this all of the sudden.

    but it felt right, so right

    in a swift motion you place your lips on Hermione’s. You had thought she’d pull away, but only half a second later her arms were wrapped around your neck, pulling you as close as possible to her. You tangled one of your hands into her light brown wavy mess and the other pushed on the small of her back. 

    the kiss was messy and sloppy, not amount of anything really could make it appropriate. How did you two go from fighting to almost ripping each others uniforms off? A question no one could really answer but yourself as well Hermione. 

    it was over as soon as it began with Hermione pulling away, leaning her forehead against yours. You could make out the small smile on her face, it made you smile as well. “That was-” she started to speak, but was stopped by her own laughter. 

    “Yeah” you breathed out. What had just happened?

        ☼-☪-☼

    four months later

    ever since that day you and Hermione would casually meet up in the lavatory to kiss and feel up on each other after, btween, during classes. Anything really. You both had also not interacted at all outside of these visits. Just stayed away from each other as much as possible.

    most people thought you two had either made up after three years of rivalry or had decided to no longer interact with each other at all. Little did they know right? Speaking of that, you pull away from Hermione, panting for air “We have divination in three minutes” you spoke. 

   her face turned to worry instantly making you grin to yourself “Godric, i have to get out of here. Wait a couple minutes” she gathered her belongings and rushed out the restroom not even leaving you with an goodbye kiss. How rude. After about five minutes or so you leave as well

    once you get to class you look around the room and spot Hermione already sat with Harry and Ron on one side of the arch like sitting area for the students. “Y/n!” oh not again. Turning your head to the right, you spt the Slytherin boy with his mates.

   this guy just doesn’t quit. You plop yourself next to Draco Malfoy “I thought you were going to ignore me again” he admits. Ignoring his statement, you gaze around the people at your table “Where’s Parkinson? If i’m going to be stuck with you gits and Theo i rather it be with her” 

   Theo cracks a smile while Draco rolls his eyes “She’s sick, stuck in her dorms” he explains. You nod mindlessly and look over at Hermione. She was brushing through her hair with her fingers, trying to make it look like you weren’t tugging on it just minutes ago. 

    “What’s that on your neck?” Harry asks, moving the top part of Hermione’s robe with his finger, causing her to swat his hand away “It’s just a bug bite” she says with haste. quick thinking, that’s kinda cute. For some odd reason you liked seeing her explain her way out of a hickey that you gave her. 

    class soon started, but you kept your inventive gaze on her. It was adorable how she would catch you staring and turn a nice shade of red. It brought a smug smile to your face each time. Professor Trelawney had called upon Hermione to ask a question, but she seemed to be too busy avoiding your gaze. 

    “My dear, Ms. Granger” Trelawney said for maybe the third time until Hermione finally fell back down to reality. She looked at the Professor who gave her a kind smile “Oh um-” the Gryffindor put on a nervous smile, her eyes looking to you. You sent her a wink.

    merlin you were such an asshole

    Hermione looked at her lap, trying to muster up the words, any words actually. Her savior wore glasses “Hermione isn’t feeling to well. Can Ron and i take her to the hospital wing?” Harry asked. What a buzzkill. Trelawney nods, waving her hand to the direction of the door. 

    Harry tapped Hermione’s shoulder while Ron grabbed her things and off they went. 

        ☼-☪-☼

    a week later

    “I have to head to dinner, you should too. I saw that you didn’t eat during lunch” Hermione spoke, buttoning her uniform shirt. You smile, looking into the mirror so you could fix your hair “Watching me Granger?” you ask, turning away from your reflection.

    “You know i worry about your health” she said, which only made your smile wider “What is that stupid smile for?’ Hermione questions, an amused laugh in her tone. Shrugging, you lean against the sink counter “Stupid? I thought you liked my quote on quote ‘Goofy smile’” 

    Hermione shakes her head, grabbing her bag from the floor “I better see you at dinner or i’ll drag you there myself” she said playfully. An idea popped into your mind. “Then drag me” you smirk, tilting your head to the left. Hermione looks at you, shaking her head again. “You know i can’t”

    “Why not? It’s been four months. I would like to be your-” you stopped mid sentence. You both had never really gave each other labels before. It was always just the casual make out and flirting, but now you were much more. Fuck it “I would like to be your girlfriend in public”

    Hermione’s brow eyes went wide as she heard those words. It becoming a little too real. You saw her conflicted face and immediately felt some sort of shame. Averting your gaze to the ground, you take a deep breath. “Forget i said anything” 

    “No!- i mean. I’m ready. Plus i’m tired of being distracted by you during class” Hermione lightened the mood just a tad. You look back up at her, cracking a half smile “I’m most likely still going to distract you” you point out, making her chuckle. Cute.

    she inhales sharply “Let’s do this” she states confidently, letting out the breath. She reached out, opening her hand for you to grab. In that small gesture, you knew you would be with this woman for as long as you lived. Grabbing her hand, you intertwined your fingers with hers. 

    ☼-☪-☼

    hand in hand, you walk into the great hall. Heads turned and pupils dialated at the sight of you and Hermione walking in together. You honestly felt a little self conscious until you saw the bright smile of Cho and Luna as well as Draco who gave you a hidden thumbs up.

    both you and Hermione took  seat at the Gryffindor table. “So Hermione, how long as this been going on?” Harry asked. Hermione glances at you before her best friend “Four months, one week.” she said, gleaming with pride at her memory. 

    Harry looked taken aback at the time, but gave you both a smile “Well at least you both are getting along finally” he says, Ron nodding beside “Yeah- getting along” the Weasley jokes. You laugh a bit before leaning over to kiss the temple of Hermione's head. 

    rivals am i right?

        ☼-☪-☼

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    @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @queeriacs @marrymetheonott

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody- Aye look its 10 am and i haven’t slept. Good night, my requests are open blah blah. Anyways, peace. 

[stargazedmoony]

Excerpt from a story I’ll never write: Wedding preparations.

“Why don’t you tell me something about the groom?”

Lily, caught by surprise, turned red on her cheeks. Through the mirror in front of her, she looked at the faces of her three best friends, who were now starting to giggle. “Oh, shut it,” she said as she turned around on the platform she was standing on, showing off a lovely, plain and white wedding dress.

She turned to the saleswoman. “Excuse me my very childish friends,” she laughed. “They’re still not over the shock of me being the first one to get married.”

“That’s not true!” Marlene objected. “Mary was the only one who thought that. And you—” She turned to Mary. “—still owe me three Sickles for it.”

Mary shook her head and grunted. “I can’t believe I made that bet with you. But I really thought you were going to get married first!”

“How can we?” Dorcas sighed next to Marlene. “Lesbian marriage is not even legal.”

“Yet.” Mary shot her a strict look, but then she quickly looked up, looking quite bewildered. “Oh!” she gasped with her eyes on the saleswoman who was eyeing the conversation with great interest. The woman friendly shook her head and said: “No need to worry. I don’t judge.” She gave them a small smile. “I’ll search for a few more dresses, alright, ladies?”

The four of them nodded and the woman left. Mary snorted. “I didn’t even mean the gay marriage thing when I looked at her,” she said. “I’m ready to fight anyone who disagrees on that. I was really just thinking about how she has no idea what a Sickle is.”

Marlene laughed and then looked up to Lily. “Yeah, how are you going to pay exactly?”

“Don’t be silly, Marls,” Dorcas said, shoving her girlfriend gently by the shoulder. “Lily’s still got Muggle money.”

“Yeah, I do,” Lily stepped in. It had been her idea to buy her wedding dress in a regular Muggle-shop. It made her feel close to her family and her origin. “Mum insists on paying for half of the dress,” she continued. “Euphemia and her keep fighting over it.” She was looking carefully at the dress on her body as she was talking, letting the fabric slip through her fingers and stepping right and left on the small platform to look at it from every perspective. It was really just a plain, white dress — very casual and quite traditional. It was also the third dress she was trying on and just like the other two, this one didn’t suit her either. She pursed her lips. “This is not it, right?” she asked the girls behind her, eyeing them in the mirror. Dorcas frowned. Mary shook her head at once. Straight up as she was, she said: “It makes you look very short,” and Lily laughed at her directness.

“It’s a nice dress—” Marlene started politely, but Dorcas cut her off. “Oh, shut it, McKinnon. It’s quite a boring dress.” Dorcas laughed at Marlene’s face and quickly grabbed her girlfriend’s hand to kiss the palm of it. Marlene’s face softened. Mary grunted.

“I can’t believe I’m the only one not in a relationship,” she said.

“You’re welcome to join us,” Dorcas winked playfully.

“No, she’s not!” Marlene gasped loudly. Dorcas’s roaring laughter filled the room with such delight that the rest of the girls couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“I might have to pair up with Peter after all,” Mary said, still smiling but looking rather weirded out by the idea of settling with Peter Pettigrew. “Oh, come on,” Dorcas said. “Peter’s fun, he’s just—”

“A bit of an idiot? Short? Always eating?” Mary filled her in.

“I was going to say “quiet”, but damn, he does seem to be eating all the time, doesn’t he?” Dorcas chuckled while Marlene shrugged her shoulders. “He’s just stressed. And can you blame him? With everything that’s going on?”

“What? Lily marrying Potter?”

“No, I mean with the war.”

The room fell quiet. Lily looked at the ground. She hadn’t thought about the war all day, being too caught up with wedding preparations and looking at gorgeous wedding dresses. Suddenly, she felt very guilty that she was feeling happy and loved when there was a world out there being wrecked and destroyed. “Oh, Lily, I’m sorry,” Marlene said, noticing Lily’s uncertain look. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” Lily said, smiling softly. “I’m going to find the saleswoman. To tell her this is not the dress.” She stepped off of the platform as she said this, leaving Marlene looking guilty and Dorcas comforting her by wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Lily didn’t blame Marlene for talking about the war. It was all everyone could talk about. But Lily really needed something good in her life. The danger that she was in, being a Mudblood, and not to mention her family being in grave danger as long as she was connected to the wizarding world; it was sometimes too much to bear. There were nights when she couldn’t sleep at all, because images of her friends’ dead bodies were whirling like insects in her head. This wedding was all the light she had right now.

In the back of the store, Lily found the saleswoman. “Ma’am?” she said quietly. The woman looked up. “Oh, hi darling!” she said friendly. “Call me Maria, please. How can I help you?”

Lily smiled. “Well, I just don’t think this dress is going to be it,” she said. Maria nodded. “That’s OK!” she said enthusiastically. “Come with me! I’ve put a few more in your dressing room in case you wanted to try on a different one.”

Lily followed the woman to the dressing room to, indeed, see a few more dresses hanging on hangers and filling the empty space of the disappointing dresses she had tried on earlier. Lily waited for Maria to zip down the back of the current dress as she looked at a beautiful mild golden-white coloured dress that was hanging right in front of her. “Wow,” she breathed under her breath. Maria helped her out of her dress and put it back on a hanger. Lily, fully aware that she was almost entirely naked, pointed at the dress. “Can I— May I try that one?” Maria looked up, a smile creeping on her face. “Of course! I thought you might like that one.”

It took a while to get into the dress, but once it was on, Lily gasped for air. She could simply not believe she was looking at herself in the mirror. On her skin, the dress seemed to be a fine lined-colour between golden and off-white. It made her hair flair up, looking redder than it had ever done before, and it made the freckles on her shoulders stand out, like Autumn leaves on bare ground. She laughed, stunned by her own beauty. Surprisingly shocked by how comfortable she was, Lily kept on staring, knowing that Maria was watching her with curiosity and delight. “I— I look beautiful,” she stammered eventually.

Maria chuckled. “You do, sweetheart,” she said kindly. “Shall I dress you up a little more? Put your hair up, maybe? I brought a few veils that might go well with this dress.” Lily nodded, not entirely hearing what the woman was saying.

It was an A-lined long dress, embracing her belly around her waist and showing off her figure in a way she was sure would make James’s his jaw drop. The golden glow of the satin in combination with her red locks reminded her of the Gryffindor colours back in the old common room at Hogwarts. The body of it came with lace off-the-shoulder long sleeves, leaving her freckled arms in a glamorous pattern of flowers. She stared in disbelief at the dress and then at Maria. The woman was eyeing her with a small smile on her lips. “Tell me something about the groom,” she said, repeating the question she had asked earlier that afternoon.

Lily bit down her lip. She couldn’t believe the buzzing of butterflies awakening in her stomach by only hearing James’s name. “His name’s James,” she said, quite shyly and stroking the lightly sparkling dress on her body. “He’s very sportive, I guess. And he loves the Beatles.” Lily laughed as a memory came flying into her thoughts— James hearing “Come Together” on the ‘magical music box’, as he liked to call the regular radio, for the first time two summers ago at her parents’ house. “Who is this?” he had asked, eagerly. “Are they in the music box? Can you summon them out?”

“Oh, he’s just lovely,” Lily smiled, caressing the memory in her head. “He’s a real knob head sometimes, but he’s the most loyal friend and boyfriend you could ask for. He’s charming and… and endearing and he’s caring and he always makes sure that I eat or that I’m warm enough, and every night before bed he gives me this little kiss on my forehead. “For sweet dreams,” he then says to me. I don’t think he could possibly imagine how loved that makes me feel. And sometimes he—” Lily stopped talking, noticing the bright smile on Maria’s face. “Oh, I’m sorry! I bet you didn’t mean those kind of things, right?”

Maria chuckled. “Oh no, dear, please,” she said, carefully placing a veil on top of Lily’s hair that Maria had apparently decided should just fall onto her shoulders. “I was adoring the way you talk about him. I treasure these kind of moments with every bride I talk to, you know that? It causes magic to appear in between these walls.” Lily smiled at the choice of words, but let the woman continue: “Men don’t care for that kind of talk, so when women come here, they tend to really get lost in their feelings. It’s the look in their eyes that sparks my happiness. I just saw it in yours. It’s why I come to work every day.”

Lily smiled. “I think you’re a wonderful person. Thank you for your kind words,” she said. She could’ve sworn Maria reddened on the cheeks as she laughed. Lily leaned in, a bit to Maria’s surprise, and hugged her, and Maria hugged her back. “I think I’m ready to see my friends now.” Maria nodded, took the lower part of the dress in her hands to prevent it from catching dust or dirt, and guided Lily back to the platform. There, Lily was welcomed back by gasps of surprise and shock and small screeches of happiness. It was a noise that made Lily’s insides fill with her very own kind of magic. It was love.

by: @stargazedmoony :)❥

[ntamain]

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

[therectoress]

yennaia + gamer au

This was supposed to be three sentences and definitely not crack but I just had to... sksjsjssksjjs.

Yennaia prompt: Gamer AU.

LINK TO ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IN THE REPLIES.

Word count: 1.8k+ Pairing: Yennaia. Rating: T.

Tissaia really had no idea why she was doing this. Perhaps to appease Rita. Perhaps because her addiction to nicotine had worsened over the course of one year of a bloody Continent-wide pandemic and she was loath to use her credit card every time she needed a new pack of cigarettes. Perhaps she was going through a midlife crisis to cope with the fact that being the Chancellor of Aretuza College was already stressful enough without half the generations there trying to fool her subordinates into thinking cardboard replicas or even mannequins counted as attendance or simply because the rest of the Board of Governors (Stregobor) couldn't differentiate between what could be said through an email and what required her to clean her entire house so the background of her call was pristine.

Her controller vibrated in her hands, (Why, for the love of the Gods, couldn't that setting be turned off?) her knuckles turning white from gripping it so strongly. "Oh, for fu- heaven's sake." There, she had been ambushed. Again. A funny and wholly unexpected thing happened, though, one of the users turned on her companions, offing the lot of them with clean headshots the brunette definitely couldn't pull off in the span of twenty seconds.

"Uhh..." What does one say when your virtual saviour just betrayed her entire party on a whim and was being cursed at obnoxiously loudly and vulgarly for it?

Yennefer ignored Sabrina calling her names that absolutely applied to her and her hormonal reaction to a lovely blue-eyed MILF the likes of which she had only seen in her dreams. "No thanks needed, love. I was getting tired of seeing you frown like someone had keyed your car every time you got killed. A pretty thing like you should only have cause to smile." Oh, Gods, now she sounded like a creepy old man that lived in his mum's basement. Great. Good job. Her Social Studies major was an absolute hit. Fuck her life. Fuck Oxenfurt College. And fuck Sabrina's witch-like cackling while she was at it. "Name’s Yennefer." She choked out miserably.

Tissaia scowled at her laptop. Hackers. Amazing. This was the best day of her new normal life. "Mind telling me how you broke through the most expensive antivirus in the Continent, dear? Because now I really need a refund." Now she also needed to contact Aretuza’s IT team on a Saturday night, because she was not about to mess any further with these blasphemous machines, thank you very much.

Wait, what? "That wasn't me... You left your camera on." The woman legitimately squealed at that, her oversized jumper sliding down her left shoulder and exposing just a glimpse of her collarbone as she pinned up her hair into a bun with... were those pens fashioned as swords? Oh, bugger, this was so not the time to get turned on! "Are you alright?" Mercifully Sabrina, Renfri and Phillipa were already accosting someone else, else she was sure the brunette would've completely lost it, more than she already was doing, anyways. "Hello?" No answer.

Tissaia was fishing for her boots when she started ranting, “Oh, don’t you worry! I’m fine! Just dandy! This is exactly how I wanted my life to go.” She motioned with her hand to the space around her. “I wished for nothing more than dealing with complete morons from nine to six, five days a week, whilst trying to make sure my sanity doesn't desert me.” Biting her lower lip for a moment she began checking that the ends of the laces were the same length when she pulled them up. “Running right after to my local grocery store to buy more instant meals that are probably going to give me cancer in five years if the bullshit articles my mother keeps sending me-”

Yennefer had told herself she wasn’t going to allow this wasn’t going to get any creepier than her misguided comment but she still had a gift code for that nice liquor store which conveniently had retailers popping up every six blocks everywhere for the last few months, especially in Thanned isle, only Gods knew why. “This bloody succubus of a twat that is my best friend has been forcing me to constantly use this cursed game by changing the password for my email and then Aretuza’s server and then-” Bingo. One text to Philippa and they had her IP address, with a mortified Triss already calling Jaskier since she was the only one that had managed to get a decent scholarship at that posh college.

This was her future wife who was about to jump from a bridge from the looks of her and they just had to do humanity a great service by saving her from herself and from sobriety.

“Can you believe that tosser? I am a lesbian! I spent my teenage years clad in flannel until my girlfriends staged an intervention kind of lesbian! Yes, Vilgefortz, I will sue you for harassment in the workplace and I will blacklist you. No, Vilgefortz, I don’t want to break quarantine to go on a date with you and I definitely do not want your disgusting cologne anywhere near my-” Tissaia’s head shot up, her doorbell was ringing and she pinched the bridge of her nose, reaching for a new, disposable, mask.

“You stay right there.” She threatened the girl, who had the most beautiful violet… Perhaps she really ought to let Coral get her a therapist. It rang again. “Gods-damn-it.” She thought.

Her plan was going marvellously. She would only have to sleep with a knife under her pillow for a few weeks for blackmailing Sabrina (Who honestly hadn’t the slightest talent to pass off plagiarism as a sudden stroke of genius in her final project without her aid.) into going along with this. The blonde was lighting the candles around the monitor without trying to burn her hair off and had given away her best bottle of cheap but still good wine for the cause. Thanks to Renfri and her frankly psychotic, owl obsessed, girlfriend she already knew what she would be replacing her trauma-ridden last name with! Splendid!

The brunette shut the door on Jaskier’s face after taking the brown paper bag from his hands, spraying the bottle of vodka inside it with so much disinfectant that it dripped down onto her carpet. Taking off her gloves and disposing of them, she grabbed a knife from the counter and ignoring the annoying blue light that came from the kitchen table, “Oh, shit. You’re soulmates. I’ll tell the rest of the girls we’re all fucked.” Tissaia cut off the upper part of the glass in one smooth hit, like Calanthe had taught her when the then teacher could still be considered fun by her groups of friends.

“Shut up, tiddybug!” She heard Yennefer sing-song.

Feeling like being crass the blue-eyed woman took a rather large swing directly from the bottle. Sitting back down, she sighed. Yennefer took a dignified sip from her wine; she could do balanced when her significant other to-be needed to let loose. “Did you like the bottle? It has good reviews from… wait a minute… apparently several alcoholics who don’t know what a budget is.”

Tissaia’s face paled. “I thought you weren’t a hacker.” The woman muttered. She didn’t fancy getting kidnapped and… No, no, no. Fucking Rita. What was the cost of moving, again? If she slept four hours less a day and split her cleaning time in two she could probably trade this house for Stregobor's in-

“I am not!” Yennefer cried. Bloody hell. “You just mentioned that you worked at Aretuza and-” Sabrina had probably started a group call and Phillipa was indeed hacking into her computer to save her arse. The Redanian was currently writing a script for her to follow. “Your username in the game is your surname. My friends and I tried to get into that school a few years back and I do remember that the Chancellor is a woman and that her last name is de Vries.” Her username wasn’t her last name, it was actually something that suggested she was an Ice Queen of the highest order. Queen Elsa from the movie Frozen would be intimidated kind of Ice Queen.

“Everyone is aware the highest-ranking members of the faculty live in chalets near the castle, pardon, the building.” True. According to Triss, that was a part of their contract that if unfulfilled prohibited them from working there ever again. To Yennefer that seemed borderline cruel, forcing them to be available at all hours like circus animals for juniors that didn’t deserve their spots.

“My best friend is a student there and she knows which one is your home because she wants to eventually be a teacher.” Partially true. Until that day came, Triss, like any rational individual, avoided the Chapter’s Village like the plague lingered inside, and wouldn’t be caught dead there unless she had to stop Sabrina from doing something stupid because of the anarchist phase she was going through. Jaskier was an acquaintance of hers of sorts because Triss had tutored his boyfriend Geralt in Biology and being daddy’s boy, he knew which one was Tissaia’s house because he had almost gotten expelled like fifteen times.

“I honestly just wanted to do something nice for you, you sounded like you needed it and… I know quarantine hasn’t been lifted once in Temeria since it all started.” Philippa wrote then that she would probably make for a decent actor without flashing her breasts to the audience every five minutes. She pursed her lips and replied in the mock post-it note to fuck off.

“I… I… Thank you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed- I’m sorry, darling.” Her pale cheeks flushed at the term of endearment that slipped her tongue and Tissaia bowed down her head, red-painted nails caressing the glass bottle almost reverently. “Say, why don’t you tell me what your email address is and I send you my mobile via chat? The explosions in the background aren’t that, uhm, comforting to listen to when I’d much rather be hearing your voice.” Should she have looked up she would have seen the smile that threatened to split Yennefer’s face. “Only if you want to, of course! I- what am I even saying? Never mi-”

“No! Wait!” She placated. Sabrina squeezed her shoulder as she went to retrieve her phone charger, offering her a genuine smile. “I’d love to.”

“Okay.” Said Tissaia, an awed sound leaving her throat when blue finally meet with lilac. Gods, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Rita could have whichever bottle, all the liquor she wanted from the school’s cellar for indirectly enabling this.

Was one week a proper enough courting period to then buy the engagement ring? Or should she just have Philippa get her the best, costliest one from that jewellery eshop they all liked through some minor fraud that would take her like half an hour at most, today? “Good.” Yennefer de Vries had such a nice ring to it.

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[booksarelife-stuff]

The Story of Us- Chapter 5

Jily (James Potter/ Lily Evans), minor wolfstar

Word Count: 3,999

Modern Muggle AU. When Lily Evans meets the man across the hall due to a fire alarm, she has no idea that a new chapter of her life has begun. Featuring a librarian Lily and sports journalist James.

Masterlist    Read on A03    Chapter 6

Chapter 5- but we were dancing

The options Mary presented to Lily were amazing. Lily didn’t think she could pull them off, despite Mary’s insistence that she would be stunning. In the end, Lily settled on an emerald green velvet dress that Mary insisted would look amazing on her and bring out her eyes. 

Lily had gotten Dorcas to come over to do her make-up because Lily was hopeless at eyeliner and she didn’t feel like winding herself up by re-doing it ten times before it only came out decent. 

“Can I see your dress?” Dorcas asked, lightly blending out the blush on Lily’s cheeks. 

“Sure,” Lily said, glancing at her analog clock on her bedside table. “We got time.”

“Do you know what James is wearing?” she asked. 

“Probably a suit,” Lily replied. Dorcas snorted. 

“Yes, probably,” she agreed. “I bet he is going to look dashing. Better than that walrus Petunia is marrying.”

Lily knew for a fact that James at his worst would look better than Vernon, but she didn’t even want to think about James and how dashing he’s going to look. 

“You’re all done!” she announced after putting some highlighter on the tip of her nose. She held out a mirror and Lily couldn’t believe how good she looked. The winged eyeliner and bright red lipstick were a bit much for the “natural” look Lily wanted, but Dorcas’s work was amazing. 

Lily told her as much as she went to her bathroom, the dress in the bag hanging from the door. Mary had already pressed it and made sure it fit her measurements, but Lily still hadn’t opened it. 

The dress was off the shoulder, so it exposed her collarbone and shoulders. There was a ruffle along the bust and sleeves to make her bust look bigger than it was.  There was a slit that opened up to her knee and Lily was thankful it didn’t climb higher.

When Lily looked in the mirror, she realized that Mary was right. The dress hugged her beautifully and her green eyes were shining. Her red hair stood out as well, even though Dorcas had pulled it up until an elegant knot on the back of her head, with a few pieces curled and framing her face. 

Dorcus gasped when Lily stepped out of the bathroom.

“You look drop-dead gorgeous,” she said, as Lily reached for her shoes. 

“It’s not too much, is it?” Lily asked. 

Dorcas shook her head. 

“No, but I don’t know how James is going to feel,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face. 

Lily spun around. 

“What does that mean?” 

“Oh come on Lily,” Dorcas said. “You have got to be joking.”

“I’m not.”

She sighed. 

“He couldn’t take his eyes off of you at the party,” she started. “You guys have lunch, what twice a week now? He watches Outlander with you! Outlander!”

Lily turned away and tried to focus on putting her heel on. She tried to ignore the implication of what Dorcas was saying because then that would cause her heart to start racing. 

“I’m just saying, if it isn’t into you, then I don’t know what he’s doing,” Dorcas said. 

“What if I’m not into him?” Lily whispered. 

Dorcas scoffed. 

“Then I’d be doubting your sexuality Lily,” she said. “I’m a lesbian and I think he is quite fit.”

“I don’t know yet,” Lily said. “I really like him but…”

“Scared?”

“A little yeah.”

“I think you would regret not trying,” Dorcas said, a tone of finality in her voice. Lily didn’t say anything more as Dorcas began checking her face and seeing any final touches that needed to be made. 

It wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door. Lily felt butterflies erupt in her stomach as Dorcas went to go answer it.

“James! You clean up nicely,” she heard Dorcas say. Lily took a deep breath and walked out of the hallway towards her living room where her front door is located. 

When she stepped in, her breath caught as she got sight of him. He was wearing a grey suit, one that had to be tailor made because it fit perfectly on him. His hair was a little more tame, but artfully messy. When Lily met his eyes, he was looking at her with wide eyes and his mouth open a bit. 

“Hey,” he said, breaking the silence. 

“Hi,” Lily replied. 

“You look gorgeous,” he said. 

“Thanks. Mary and Dorcas really came through for me,” Lily said. “You look nice.”

Lily wanted to kick herself. That was the lamest thing she could have said. 

James didn’t seem to mind as he smiled back. 

“Well, I should get going,” Dorcas interjected. Lily looked at her, a little ashamed to admit that she had forgotten she was in the room with them. 

“Bye! Thank you for the make-up!” Lily said, giving her friend a quick hug. Dorcas patted James on the arm before leaving. 

“So, ready to go?” James asked. Lily nodded and grabbed her phone and her keyes. She realized that she didn’t have anything to carry them in, but James took them and put them in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. 

Lily liked that he offered his arm to her as they waited for the elevator. She also liked that he volunteered to drive them there after Remus told him that Lily was a tiny bit scared of driving. He helped her into the car and Lily thought her heart was going to burst. 

“So I made a road trip playlist,” he said. “I put some bangers on there. I hope you don’t mind.”

Lily turned to him and smiled. “No I don’t.”

The drive was fun and it alone almost made Lily thankful this night. She was surprised that James knew every lyric to the Taylor Swift songs he put on the playlist. They had just done a wonderful rendition of “Better than Revenge” when James pulled into the parking lot of the ballroom that not doubtedly, Vernon’s family rented out.

“So why did her sister decide to have a black-tie engagement party?” James asked, turning his car off. 

“To show that she's better and classier than the rest,” Lily replied, rolling her eyes. 

“If this is the engagement party, I wonder what the wedding will be like,” he replied. 

“Probably the most outrageous thing you’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t know about that,” James said looking at her. “Some of the kids I went to school with are having some crazy weddings. One of them had the whole bridal party on horses.”

Lily laughed. 

“Don’t tell Petunia that. She’ll get ideas.” 

James opened his door and stepped out. Lily went to open hers but James was too quick. He hurried over to her side and opened the door for her and offered a hand to help her stand. 

Lily didn’t expect to be jumped on by her mother the second they walked in. 

“Lily, dear!” Rose Evans yelled, making Lily jump. She barely had time to drop James’s arm before her mother’s arms were around her. 

“Hello, mum,” she said, hugging her tightly. Her mom pulled away and inspected Lily. 

Lily looked awfully like her mum, but in a slightly different font. Lily was a head taller and her dark red hair was the obvious difference, but other than that, they had the same nose that turned up and eyes. 

Mum was looking her up and down. Lily inspected her as well. She was still looking good in her willowy frame. She was wearing a light pink dress that was only fitting for the mother of the bride.

“You look beautiful, dear,” she said. She looked at James, and her eyes widened. Lily could see the excitement in her eyes. “You must be Lily’s boyfriend Tuney talked on the phone with!”

“Mum-” Lily started, purposely not looking at James. “He’s not-”

“You are dashing! What’s your name, dear?” Rose said, talking over Lily. Lily felt her stomach drop.

“James Potter, ma’am,” James said, not missing a beat. He flashed her a charming smile. 

“Lovely! It’s been awhile since Lily has brought anyone over to meet the family!” Rose said, looking like she was on cloud nine. 

“That’s because-” Lily started. 

“I’m a special one, what can I say?” James said. 

“Well, go get your seats! There’s gonna be a toast before the party kicks off,” Rose said, ushering them forward. 

James smiled and nodded and grabbed Lily’s hand. He laced their fingers together. 

“I did not tell Petunia you were my boyfriend,” Lily whispered as soon as Rose was behind them. 

“I know,” James said. “But I couldn’t dash your mum’s dreams.”

Lily snorted. 

“Was charming mothers a class at your posh boarding school?” she whispered. 

“Yes, actually. It was after ‘How to smile like a politician,’,” James remarked. 

Lily laughed a little as they walked to the main ballroom. 

Lily couldn’t believe how much Vernon had dished out for the engagement party. Lily knows there was no way Petunia could afford it with her career as a make-up saleswoman for that pyramid scheme she worked for. 

The centerpieces were huge, filled with roses that were painted gold. There were fancy name plates in a cursive that was barely legible. Petunia’s colors were an awful combination of hot pink and a bright orange. The table cloths were alternating between those colors. 

There was a live band that was setting up, composed of cellos, harps, and other instruments that indicated to Lily she was not going to be able to dance to the Cupid Shuffle tonight. 

“Wow, this is something,” James said. Lily could tell she was holding back laughter. 

“I think that pink is bright enough to burn my eyes,” Lily whispered. 

There was an usher, who guided them to their seats. Lily wanted to roll her eyes at her sister, placing her in the back corner and probably with Vernon’s cousin who they had deemed to be lesser than them. 

James pulled her seat out for her. Lily rolled her eyes at him. 

“What a gentleman, thank you,” she said. 

“My Mum would have my head if I didn’t act my best today,” he replied, sitting next to her. 

“Does your mum know you’re here?” Lily asked, looking over at him. He nodded, his black curls bouncing a little. 

“I tell my mum everything,” he said. Lily wondered what that must be like. “Speaking of which, you have been invited to an event of mine.”

Lily raised an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“Yep. Sirius and mostly likely Remus will be going,” he said. Lily hummed. 

“What kind of an event?” she asked. 

“It’s the Potter’s annual charity event and auction,” he said, like it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s more laid back than this, like a cocktail party if you will.”

Lily blinked at him. 

“How rich are your parents?” Lily asked. James glanced at her, smiling a bit. 

“My father is Fleamont Potter, Lily,” he said. 

“No offense, but am I supposed to know who that is?”

“I’d be surprised if you did. He invented hairspray,” James said. 

Lily laughed. 

“Okay, you got me,” Lily said. “What did he really do?”

James took a sip of his water, his eyes not leaving Lily’s. 

“You have got to be kidding.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, my pretend girlfriend.”

“Give me my phone.”

He handed it to her and did a Google search, only to see that James was absolutely right. 

“What the fuck?” she whispered. 

“Language Evans!” 

She handed her phone back to him, staring at him with wide, unblinking eyes. 

“Crazy, I know,” he said. 

“Why didn’t you mention this?” she asked. James shrugged. 

“Didn’t seem important.”

Lily rolled her eyes. Only James would think it wasn’t important that his father had invented the very product she had sprayed all over hair for most of her life. 

Turns out they were seated with Vernon’s cousins who they had deemed untowardly. Surprisingly enough though, they were the ones that Lily actually imagined having a shot at getting along with. 

James had so much charm, it was practically oozing out of him. He had charmed the socks off of Vernon’s cousin, Elizabeth with a simple tale from his uni days. 

Mingling was not one of her strong suits, but James made it a lot easier. 

Lily’s gut twisted when the speeches started to kick off the night. The first one to go was her sister’s best friend from secondary school, Makayla, who had assisted in making Lily’s life a nightmare. 

Her speech was fine until they started talking about the “good ol’ days.”

“One of my fondest moments from our friendship early on was when we found her sister eating alone outside,” Makayla started. Lily’s breath caught at the mention of this and she stiffened. 

She felt James grab her hand. He laced his fingers through her’s and squeezed once. 

“We felt so bad for her! So we decided to sit with her,” Makayla continued. “We knew it would damage our reputation, but that’s what you do for family.”

There were a few laughs.

“That was until Lily started to get smart with her mouth and Petunia dumped her lunch all over Lily!”

Lily remembers it like it was yesterday. She had been reading a book, when her sister’s hoard of girls descended over her. They were spewing fake compliments, Petunia’s backhanded ones as well, Lily had had enough and looked straight at her sister and fired back at her. 

Lily had beans in her hair for the rest of the day. 

No one laughed, but Makayla trucked on to the story of how she met Vernon. 

Lily’s pulse rate was up and she could feel her cheeks flush with anger. She almost wanted to leave the room, but James was holding her hand. She squeezed it and James leaned over. 

“I take it, that's not the whole story?” he whispered. Lily shook her head stiffly. 

She didn’t pay attention to anyone else’s speeches. She kept her eyes down and was content to staying in a bad mood until James started a thumb war on her lap. 

He had just won for the second time when everyone started standing. Lily looked around in confusion. 

“I think we can get up and mingle now,” James said. “Or maybe we’re supposed to go greet the bride and groom?”

There was a line forming in front of Vernon and Petunia. Lily’s eyes passed over them and on to the snack table that only a few others were at. Lily eyed the champagne. 

“Snacks?” she asked. 

“Lead the way.” 

James, once again, lended Lily his arm as they made their way through the crowd. 

“What kind of party doesn’t have a chocolate fountain?” James asked as they neared the snacks. 

“They probably thought it wasn’t posh,” Lily replied. 

“I’ve been to plenty of posh parties and there has always been a chocolate fountain,” James replied. Lily laughed a little. 

“What about a cheese fountain?” she asked. 

“That sounds disgusting.”

“You can grab a tortilla chip and cover it in cheese.”

“Nasty, Evans.”

James grabbed a plate and let Lily fill it with whatever she wanted. She made sure to grab enough for both of them, James only turning down champagne. 

“Well, I’m going to need a lot to get through this night,” Lily said, taking a sip. 

“I wish I could,” James said, sighing. 

“Thanks for driving,” she said, smiling at him. 

“You only use me, Evans,” James lamented before popping a strawberry into his mouth. 

Lily was about to reply when Makayla walked up. She was looking at James though, like Lily was completely invisible. Lily fought the urge to grab James and run but Makayla was quick. 

Lily wasn’t in the business of hating other women, though it was hard to fight the societal pressures that had been pushed upon her since she was a kid. She didn’t hate Makayla because she was pretty or because popular in school. She hated her because Lily had spent many days crying and fearing her presence. 

“I don’t believe we met before?” she asked, extending a hand to James. “Are you one of Vernon’s cousins?”

James almost snorted, but Lily could see he was fighting his prep school education. He shook her hand. 

“No, I’m Lily’s boyfriend,” he said, smiling widely. 

Lily didn’t miss how her face fell a bit. She took a big gulp of her champagne. James put his arm around Lily and brought her closer. 

“Oh! I didn’t know Lily had a boyfriend. Petunia failed to mention that,” she said.

“This is the first time I’m meeting the family,” James said, smoothly. “We haven’t been dating long.”

“Oh well, this is a perfect occasion for that,” Makayla agreed. She finally turned her gaze to Lily. “How have you been Lily?”

“I’ve been good, thanks,” Lily said, forcing herself to smile and keep her tone light. 

“Still in school?”

“Post-grad,” Lily replied, evenly. Makayla hummed and turned her eyes to James again. James quickly stuffed food in his mouth, avoiding having to answer another question. 

“This has been lovely, but we really should be queuing to see Petunia and Vernon,” Lily said. “See you later.”

James followed Lily as they walked to the back of the queue. 

“I’m offended,” James said when they stopped. “She thought I was related to Vernon.”

“I bet she didn’t,” Lily mused. “She probably used that as an opener.”

James scoffed. “That’s a bloody fucking horrible opener.”

Lily laughed. They shared the snacks and Lily told him about the people she was recognizing. She didn’t have any cousins and her aunt had passed sometime ago, so it was only Vernon’s family and she didn’t know much about them. 

The couple in front of them started talking, revealing them to be Vernon’s cousins who had been shunned because she had gotten a divorce. It was nice bonding by being the family outcasts. 

Lily didn’t feel nervous until she was staring at her sister. 

Petunia was wearing a dress that Lily could admit was very pretty, but the sneer on her face is what made her ugly to Lily. Vernon was wearing an black suit with an orange shirt that blinded Lily’s eyes. 

“Lily,” Petunia said, stiffly. “How lovely to see you.”

Lily was determined not to live up to Petunia expectations, no matter how much she wanted to yell at her. 

“Lovely to see you as well,” Lily replied. “And Vernon as well.”

Lily saw Vernon eyeing James. 

“I’m James,” he said, a posh smile on his face. “I’m Lily’s date.”

“Or boyfriend, as you had decided to call it,” Lily added. 

“What do you James?” Vernon asked, shaking his hand. 

“Oh, I’m a trust fund baby,” James said smiling. “I don’t really need to work. I may go get a job at a McDonalds though. It’ll keep me on my toes.”

Lily bit back a smile as Vernon started to turn red. 

“Really?” he gasped. 

“No, just kidding,” James said. “I’m a journalist.”

The way Petunia’s jaw dropped, Lily would think that someone had committed a horrible sin right in front of her. 

“Is this the company you’ve been keeping, sister?” Petunia hissed. 

“Yep. Every night. We live together now,” Lily said, knowing it would make Petunia blow a gasket. It worked. 

“Vernon and I aren’t even living together yet! And we’re engaged,” she whispered scandalized. 

“Hm, maybe we shouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy scare?” James said, turning to Lily. 

Lily pulled him away as Petunia let out a little shriek. Lily was holding in a laugh as they walked through the tables. 

“Too far?” James asked. Lily shook her head. 

“No, just far enough,” she said. “They’re going to think you’re a sinning vagrant like me.”

James rolled his eyes. “If anyone here is a vagrant, it’s me Evans.”

Lily’s mother was waiting for them by their table and Lily’s laughter stopped. She hoped her mother wasn’t going to be stern with her. She felt like a kid again. 

“What did you say to get Petunia so mad?” Rose asked, swirling her glass around in the cup. 

“Oh, normal stuff,” Lily replied. Rose smiled. 

“I can’t believe you found a willing accomplice,” Rose said, gesturing to James. 

“I prefer partners in crime,” James replied. 

Rose smiled. 

“I’m going to ask that you guys stay for about an hour before you sneak out,” she said. 

Lily huffed as she was just about to ask James if they could leave and go get McDonalds. 

“Fine.”

With that Rose left, giving them a small smile. Lily and James some more snacks and soon the little band was playing. James stood up and offered his hand. 

“Uh,” Lily said, staring at it. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Not a problem. I’ll teach you.”

The truth was that Lily could probably get the gist of it fairly quickly, but the issue was that she had never danced with anyone before. Like never, ever, danced with anyone before. Not even at the little dodgy dances that school threw. She went to one and no one had asked her. 

For some reason, it was nerve racking, being that close to James. Sure, she sat next to him on the couch, shoulders bumping, their legs touching. But this seemed intimate.

Too intimate for their friendly relationship. 

James squeezed her hand as he led her to the dance floor. He gave her his wide, easy smile. It made her feeling comfortable, knowing that he was going to be embarrassed by her as they danced. 

They ended up doing the stereotypical slow dance that wasn’t really a dance. Just swaying with their arms around each other. 

Petunia only seemed to have picked ballads for this occasion because not a single song went to an upbeat tempo. So their position was cemented, one hand with their finger’s threaded together, his other on her waist and her other resting in between shoulder blades. 

“I’ll teach you to properly dance,” he said. “One day.”

“When will I ever need that?” she asked, smiling a little. James smiled too. 

“If you are accompanying me to any and all Potter events, you’ll need to know.”

Lily groaned but she wasn’t bothered in the slightest. 

It fell silent between them. Lily looked up at him, taking in his jaw and the way the lights of the room reflected in his glasses. 

Another ballad started and Lily realized she liked this. A lot. She liked being this close to James, she liked grabbing his hand, she liked sharing laughs between them. 

She liked James. A lot. More than she ought to. She wondered how this snuck up on her like that. She didn’t know the exact moment she started feeling that way, but based on the intensity, it had to have been for a while. 

James glanced down at her and she averted her eyes, staring at his tie. 

He adjusted their position. He encouraged Lily to get closer and she obliged. Her arm went around him and she rested her head on his shoulder while his hand rested on her back. He kept their fingers threaded together though. 

Lily’s heart was thumping and she hoped James couldn’t feel it, as there was no room to speak of between their bodies. She could hear James’s thumping.. 

She could melt right there in that very spot, that’s how close they were. She wanted to be this way forever. 

Lily forgot that the back of her shoulders were bare from how the neckline of the dress was until she felt James’s hand gently trace a circle on her bare skin. It made her body start to tingle and long to feel his hands everywhere on her. 

The song changed and Lily realized she was going to have to do something about this. But not right now.

“I think it’s been an hour,” she whispered. 

“Wanna get out of here?” 

“Yes please.”

[ciggylungz]

Summer bummer pt.2

y/n x harry pairing

summary- y/n and Harry are part of a cast of a reality show called ‘summer bummer’ that’s a uk version of the jersey shore and things are chaotic

pnot proofread, not sure if its any good pt.2

_3.9k words

 Waking up smooshed between a warm body and a hard wooden wall was what Y/n was currently experiencing, but soon the pounding headache and nausea took the front seat in her brain as she let out a low groan shifting in the hold of the man beside her as she sat up rubbing her eyes, mascara from the night before flaking onto her fist getting another irritated groan to bubble in her throat.

“quiet, try’n sleep here” Harry mumbled and turned over as she climbed out of his bed yawning and stumbling to the bathroom, peeing and taking off her messy makeup from the night before, taking a quick shower and going back upstairs to her shared room to change into some comfy shorts and a big sweatshirt pulling the hood over her damp hair to help block the brightness that’s making her head pound like a drum.

Y/n made her way into the confessional room, sitting on the couch in front of the green screen and turning on the camera the producers had there for them to do their periodic self interviews.

“so it’s like noon, I just woke up and I realized ‘holy shit, im in bed with Harry’…” she made a point to tilt her head and widen her eyes at the camera showing her bit of shock at the situation. “I was blackout wasted last night, the last thing I remember was dancing and making out with him so I’m gonna wait till he’s up to ask if we did the deed or not because I don’t remember, god first day in the house and I’m already blacking out.” She paused to laugh at herself a little before continuing, “ugh, we’ll see. My moms gonna kill me when she see this episode_- fuck_”

She sighed as she turned off the camera and went back out into the living room where some of her roommates were, all of them sleepy and hungover chatting to themselves but Y/n raised an eyebrow when she noticed Tommy give her a side eye and stop talking when she walked into the room, the camera men that were in the house filming panning their cameras between the two young adults.

“what? Why are you looking at me like that?” she didn’t waste any time in brining attention to his behavior, not in the mood for the pricks little attitude problem getting a scoff and a snarky little turn of his lips as he waved her off like a dog, and Y/n was having none of it. She stood up straighter, squaring her shoulders and pointing at the man. “Obviously you have a fucking problem so say it, fuck are you acting like a little bitch for? Thought you were a fucking tough guy.” She wasn’t scared of that guy In the slightest, he had the most punch worthy face she’s ever seen and god was he making the urge more prominent with every move of his ugly face.

“shut the fuck up bitch, you talk too fucking much. You talked shit about me at the club last night, probably just mad because I was making out with other girls and not giving your ugly ass any fucking attention you stupid bitch.” He glared at her giving her a disrespectful little smile and every other person in the room was now staring at the pair, engaged and waiting on the edge of their seats for what was gonna happen next.

Y/n couldn’t stop the laugh that came from her mouth, looking at Tommy like he was the stupidest person on the planet, because right now he sure did fit the description. “You’re joking right? I was saying how I felt sorry for those girls because you’re such a piece of shit wanker. You hit on me from the moment I walked in this house and pouty like a fucking baby when I told you to fuck off after dinner, it was on camera you prick. I’m perfectly content having you and your non existent lips far away from me.”

She was annoyed, but also amused. This guy had no fucking clue how much everyone already hated him and she loved it. He stayed silent for a minute and she took the chance to get closer to him pointing her finger right in his face, making eye contact with him, “watch who the fuck you call a bitch around here Tommy because I’ll punch you right in your smug fucking mouth, lets see how much of a tough guy you are when you get your teeth knocked in by a fucking girl.”

At this point Ryan was up off the couch and making his way between the two when he saw both of them getting even more agitated, Tom standing up and Y/n refusing to back down as he tried to intimidate her.

“alright guys, chill out. Drop it, it’s not a big deal don’t fight over stupid shit like this.” Ryan stuck his arm between them Tommy trying to push it away while Y/n started to tie up her hair yelling back and fourth with him as Ryan tried to keep them apart. “what you gonna fucking hit me Tom? Huh? You gonna hit a girl? Makes sense, you’re a pussy and act so tough till you’re throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your way. Gonna go cry to mommy because I didn’t want anything to do with you or your 2 inch dick?”

This comment of course got the reaction she was hoping, his face grew red and his body tensed just making her smirk more. “the fuck did you just say to me?” he was pissed, and Y/n was loving how she got him so mad over her comment, that’s how she knew she struck a nerve because it was definitely true. She even got some laughs from the roommates who were sitting around watching the show. Ryan turned so his left arm and part of his body was between them, looking at Tommy raising an eyebrow at him. “Watch it mate, you’re on thin ice. Lay a hand on a female in this house and you’ll never get to walk this earth again.”

Tommy clenched his jaw flickering his eyes between Ryan and Y/n like an angry child who didn’t get their way, and god was Y/n loving how he’s embarrassing himself and he doesn’t even realize it.

The pair continued to argue back and fourth, him trying to insult her and her pushing his buttons – (because lets face it, he was too damn easy)- and in the midst of it Harry decided to emerge from his room, hair a mess and all sleepy. His tattoos were on full display as his shirtless body started advancing towards the arguing duo. Y/n gasped when Harry pushed her back a bit to get right in Toms face using his large body to completely cover Y/n’s as he looked down at Tommy with stone cold eyes.

“Mate I suggest you fucking keep it moving because I’m not gonna put up with you being disrespectful to anyone in this house, let alone a younger girl who didn’t do anything to you. I won’t let her fight you, but I sure as hell have no problem pounding your face in. Step off before I make you, I promise you that you don’t want that.”

Harry’s tone was serious, his muscles were taunt and flexed as he towered over the other man. Tommy of course tried to play it off and muttered a ‘whatever asshole’ as he sulked off to his room, but everyone in there knew he was almost shitting his pants from how afraid he was of Harry.

Everyone took a second to take everything in before they really spoke. Ryan gave Harry a pat on the back, “Thanks mate, dudes a proper prick. And Y/n, you’re a bad ass fuckin’ girl, that was crazy!” he chuckled and shook his head, plopping down on the couch again as Harry turned to the girl raising and eyebrow as he looked down at her. “try to not get yourself involved in any more trouble, at least until I’ve had some fucking coffee. Was sleeping love, bit rude to wake me up for a brawl.”

Y/n laughed a little and pushed his chest, “Hey! I didn’t wake you up, I could have taken him I didn’t need you to jump in.” she put her hands on her hips and gave him a sassy little face, the man laughing in return. “ ‘m sure you could have, babbled last night about how you’re brothers taught you boxing growing up, but if that kid was to try to fight you I’d go down for a murder charge. Me mum taught me to respect women and women beaters aren’t in my good graces. Now you, miss thang need to keep your ass out of problems.”

Harry gave her the stern bossy eyes and she caved, nodding her head and pouting a little as he went into the kitchen and grabbed himself a Gatorade and some crackers nodding his head to the deck door,           “ ‘cmere rocky, need to talk to you.” Harry teased her with the name, getting laughs from everyone including her as she walked out on the deck with him sitting down on one of the couches as he fed himself.

“need to talk to you about last night.” He mumbled through a mouthful of sports drink getting a nod from Y/n as she tried her best to ignore the camera getting a little too close for comfort. “Wanted to ask you about it too, was waiting till you got up..i’m just gonna ask, did we bang?” she twisted her stray hairs around her pointer finger as she asked, slightly nervous for the answer.

Harry shook his head laughing a little bit to himself. “Nope, told you I wasn’t gonna do anything when you were drunk unless I talked to sober you about it first. Plus, love if we would have fucked you would still feel me. wouldn’t have to ask because your trouble walking would answer that question for you sweetheart.” Harry wore a slight smirk on his lips as he said it, watching the younger girl roll her eyes and lick over her lips. “god you’re such a boy.”

“No, sweetheart. I’m a man, a gentlemen actually. Not like the little boys where you’re from, I’m a grown man love and I’m cocky because I know I have the skills to back it up. Maybe you’ll get lucky to experience that yourself sometimes little girl.”

Y/n was a bit in shock. She was turned on, overwhelmed and a little bit offended by his attitude but god if she wasn’t turned on. “Oh my god. I can’t, guys are too much for me right now. I might have to take up Selena’s offer and become a lesbian over summer because you guys are stressing me out!”

Y/n smacked his arm playfully and Harry grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand to his mouth and kissing her knuckled. “Yea, let’s see how long that lasts since last night you were almost In tears any time I broke the kiss to open the damn door. You’ll be knocking at my door by the end of the week guarantee it.”

“Ok mister confidence, shut up.” Y/n covered her face with her hands to hide her smile and growing blush, both of them just talking about the night before until the camera crew left for a while before they were going to go out that night.

“hey Harry?” Y/n stood in his doorway, calling out his name as he rummaged through his suitcase to find whatever he was looking for. “Whatsup love?” he peered at her for a second to let her know he was listening before going back to what he was doing “about what you said, sober me says if neither of us come home with someone we can fool around a bit, you have my permission. Just know I fully plan on bringing someone home tonight and I already called the spare room. I wanna start my summer off with good booze and an orgasm.”

Harry let out a little snort, pulling the brush he was looking for out of his bag and turning to Y/n, “I’ll keep that in mind, good luck with your plans tonight, I hope you get your wish and don’t end up with some dude who doesn’t know where the clit is.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, “Don’t speak that into existence asshole, if he fails me I’ll just do it the old fashion way.” This got the mans attention and his eyes to meet hers, “Old fashion way?” he rubbed his stubbly chin a bit, moving the brush between his right and left hand, “yea, just masturbate in the shower or whatever. I brought some tools that could lend a helping hand in that. I’ll make do.”

Harry had to stop himself from groaning. His mind flashed with images of her in the shower using toys on herself, biting a wash cloth to keep quiet since everyone’s here. He was able to collect himself after a few seconds and give her a playful smile nodding “sounds like a plan love, now get out of here it’s time to get ready.”

__

The music was blaring and the booze running through Y/n’s system made it ten times better, she was dancing- not caring about anything as she danced on this nice looking guy she met and who she decided she was gonna bring back that night and occupy the spare room she’d already called. He was tall, dark hair, tan just a typical good looking guy and the vodka helped make him look more attractive. She just hoped that he could give her what she so desperately needed. A good fucking.

“ ‘cmon, lets go now so we have extra time before my roommates get back, I wanna play.”

Little else was said between the two as they darted out of the club and back to the shared house, clothes coming off quickly as they got up the steps and now she’s panting, groping her tits while the stranger who she can’t remember the name of is tongue deep in her cunt. He’s average at giving head, but she’s desperate and so horny she doesn’t care.

Her hips rock against his mouth as he brings her right to the edge before stopping, Y/n let out a loud protest at this feeling the coil that was forming in her stomach and about to come undone fade.

“what the hell?!” she was pissed, and between her legs was aching at this point from needing attention. “I’m sorry, mouth got tired and I wanna fuck you now..” the man slipped his shirt off while Y/n laid under him, irritated but hopeful his cock can give her the relief she really needs.

But just her luck, it doesn’t. He lasts 5 minutes before he’s cumming into the condom and panting leaving Y/n angry and horribly deprived, and so she wasted no time in kicking him out and storming into her room, grabbing her black vibrator she had brought and marching to the bathroom turning the shower on getting it nice and arm before she stepped in.

__

Y/n had her head resting against the tile as she sat on the shower floor, legs spread and vibrator rubbing up and down her needy slit while her free hand was plunging 2 fingers in and out of herself. She always loved being fingered, but she wishes her fingers were just a bit longer as she worked herself letting herself be loud since no one else was in the house, but she just couldn’t reach the spot she needed to. It was so close yet so far, and she was so upset she was almost close to tears.

She was in the middle of a fit of cursing everyone in existence when a knock on the bathroom door made her jump, her heart almost burst from surprise and now she was wondering how long she’s been in here since her roommates weren’t coming back till at least 6 am.

“Can I come in? it gotta pee” the voice on the other side of the door asked loudly so she could hear them over the water, and when she realized it was Harry she yelled out an agreement, as soon as he opened the door she peaked her head around from behind the curtain to look at him while still shielding her body.

Harry chuckled a little bit and gave her a funny look, “Can I take a leak in private please?”. Y/n groaned and stomped her foot on the shower floor like a child. “Fine! Please pee and then get in the shower with me, I’m so horny it literally hurts and that guy lasted 5 minutes and I swear to god if I don’t get to cum I’m going to cry please!”

Harry stared at her for a moment, letting her words sink in pushing his hair off his face and shrugging. “what do you want me to do love?” he could see just how desperate she was, eyes close to tears, lip stuck between her teeth and he felt both bad for her but also so fucking turned on.

“Anything, please finger me? play with me? please I need it my fingers aren’t long enough and you said you’d play with me, I’m not even that drunk please Harry.”

Y/n didn’t care about the cameras in the hall that were probably picking up the audio, or how desperate and crazy she sounded, she needed his touch.

“Okay..Okay doll relax, let me do what I need to do and then I’ll join you alright?”

Y/n nodded and moved back behind the curtain, she took her original place sitting on the cool tile floor of spacious shower as he went to the bathroom before stripping down to his boxers and pulling the curtain back seeing the younger girl naked, legs spread a bit giving him a glimpse of how swollen and flushed between her legs was letting him know she was probably a bit too rough on herself when she got frustrated, which only made her problem worse.

Her tits sat perky on her chest, her nipples pebbled with water droplets running down over them before dripping off onto her thighs. Harry let out a low groan at the sight, “Have m’ boxers on just because I’m not gonna fuck ya’ , honestly don’t think I even can because I got whiskey dick right now. Need to lay off the booze so I can take care of you properly next time. Cmon, stand up sweetheart.”

Harry held his hand out to the girl who took it, standing on wobbly legs as he stepped in the shower with her, skin tight black boxers covering his goods which disappointed her a bit but she couldn’t care too much since there was so much else going on.

His big hands ran up and down her back, thumbs digging into the dimples right at the base of her spine as he pulled her closer to him, kissing down her neck, mumbling into her skin about how pretty she is, and promising he’s going to make her feel better.

“Pussy is all swollen doll, gotta be careful. Don’t want you to hurt yourself just ‘cause you get frustrated, that’s no fun…” His voice was deep, slow and made her stomach tense from how it vibrated through her getting a whimper and tug on his wet matted locks.

“Talk to me darling..tell me what you want, tell me what you need baby” his fingers were trailing downward, squeezing her ass and brushing his finger tips on the backs on her thighs. “need you to touch me, please put your fingers in me I need it”

Her voice was pathetic and she knew it, she was needy to the highest capacity and almost let a ‘daddy’ slip through her lips but she managed to bite her tongue just in time. Harry hummed as he brough his right hand around her front, moving it between her thighs and coaxing them open wider while he brushed two digits up and down her slit, mouthing at her neck while he gets a feel for her exterior, taking the vibrator from her hand and setting it down on the rack holding their shampoos and soaps while he tapped the pad of his middle finger against her entrance before sinking it in.

Her reaction was immediate. She dropped her head onto his shoulder, a long relieved moan falling from her plush lips as he slipped a second one in with ease from how eager her body was. “Got t’ give me a minute to find tha’ special spot love, deep breaths don’t need ya’ passing out on me.” Harry was on a mission to find that spongey spot inside her that would have her cumming in no time, and Y/n was practically riding his fingers as she stood in his grip, her body going rigid when he pressed against the spot she needed the most attention on, mumbling a low “found it” as he pressed on it again, rubbing over it as he fucked his fingers in and out of the younger girl who was holding onto him for dear life as he massaged her G-spot with vigor.

“There you go, that’s a good girl Y/n you’re doin’ so good love, know you’re close can cum whenever you feel it. Know you need it baby, let go.”

Y/n could barely hear him as her body started to tingle, everything was muffled and her mind was hyper focused on the pleasure pulsing through her core. She was gearing up for a strong one, she hasn’t had one quite this big since the winter when she had a 4 week dry spell and finally got some action the day after Christmas, she soaked through the poor dudes sheets that night.

Her moans and gasps picked up, frequent bursts of pleasured moans passed her lips as she started to pant her nails digging into his tattooed shoulders while her held her to him so she didn’t fall.

“Doing so well, almost there huh? Almost there…” his fingers moved with purpose and unfaltering speed as he massaged her special spot faster, her legs becoming jelly as she started to cum. She couldn’t help the loud moan that shot out of her throat, Harry quickly grabbing the wash cloth and stuffing it in her mouth since he knew Ryan was here. He cooed in the girls ear, talking to her the entire time she was cumming feeling her cunt squeezing his digits while her own juices dribbled down his wrist.

She was dizzy, tired, spent and completely drained. She finally got what she needed and was now dead weight clinging to Harry who peppered her face with kisses as he withdrew his hand from her cunt rinsing her off down there and kissing her lips a few times.

“That was fucking amazing… god Harry you’re gonna make me fall in love with you with fingers like those…”

He only chuckled at her dazed comment before shutting the water off, wrapping the girl in a towel and sitting her down on the counter

“Lucky for you, you have all summer to do so, I might just be up for it too.”

[artificialqueens]

Whenever I’m Alone With You (Tia/Veronica) - Juno

Summary: Tia and Veronica take an eventful day trip to the seaside. They start the day as friends. Will that be the case by the end of the day?

(A/N: It’s taken me a little while but I’m finally happy with this so here is some Greentia for anyone who wants DRUK stuff. No CWs it’s mostly fluffy with some h/c. I hope you enjoy.)

Brighton was supposed to be well-known for having the best beaches in the UK. Student city? Sure. Queer-friendly? Yes. But the beach? Mostly stones. Stones as far as the eye could see along the coastline.

Disappointing, Tia thought to herself as she leaned against the intricate Victorian iron fence surrounding the beach. I expected white sand and palm trees from the way the uni welcome pack hyped it up. I’ll give it a four out of ten.

Still, the seaside was alright. It almost felt like being back in Clacton. The usual fairground rides, a Ferris wheel, the pier out over the sea littered with people, and seagulls brave enough to steal your wallet let alone your chips.

It was October and for some reason it was sunny and warm this Saturday, and Tia had come to the seaside to relish what would probably be the last warm-ish day of the year. What seemed to be the entire population of East Sussex had also taken that view, and the beach was crowded with people chasing the last strands of summer sun.

Tia preferred to be here on the pavement above the beach, breathing in the salty sea air, and listening to the waves, wondering how something so forceful sounded so peaceful.

“Nice day.”

Veronica’s soft voice behind her served as a reminder that Tia wasn’t alone.

Out of her three new housemates, Veronica hadn’t been Tia’s first choice in wanting someone to spend the day at the seaside with, but Aurora and Ellie had already gone out. They’d only lived in their halls for just over a month, but Aurora and Ellie were already almost joined at the hip, spending all day together when they weren’t in lectures.

There were four of them on their floor of the halls, all women. Tia had instantly bonded with Ellie, who bubbled with fun and was most content when she was making people laugh. It had taken a little longer to get to know Aurora, who was hard as nails but whose loyalty to her friends was endless. And then there was Veronica. Veronica had avoided most of the freshers’ social activities, barely leaving her room, and in doing so, became something of a loner.

She’d asked Veronica to go with her out of politeness, but also out of some vague fascination with her. Tia knew they were friends - if the last month had shown them anything, they were definitely friends - but she didn’t know enough about Veronica to know if it would be a fleeting friendship or a lasting one.

After all, Tia thought to herself as she watched Veronica getting black lipstick all over the cone, we don’t really have much in common on the surface.

“Yeah, it’s a really nice day,” Tia nodded at her finally, taking another lick of the ice cream Veronica had bought her.

The quiet resumed between them; not an uncomfortable sound, Tia noticed, but one that simply didn’t need to be filled with noise. It made a change from Ellie, always game for a laugh, and Aurora, who had an opinion to give on everything. But Tia liked the quiet time they shared. The only sound was the rush of the sea, and Veronica humming some tune that Tia recognised vaguely, but not enough to know.

There was a clatter as Veronica’s parasol dropped to the ground beside her. Veronica smiled apologetically as she leaned to pick it up. Tia knew some people with some - interesting fashion choices, but Veronica was the only person she knew with an actual parasol, black like the rest of her outfit.

“Do you always wear black?” Tia asked.

Veronica’s huff and rehearsed reply said it all. “Yes, I always wear black, I sleep in a coffin, and it’s Halloween every bloody day.”

“I mean - don’t you get really warm in summer?”

Veronica seemed to consider the question. “Not really. The skirt is quite thin material, and -“

“But it’s all black.”

“So?”

“Well, it traps heat,” Tia said.

Veronica looked down at herself, cocking an eyebrow, turning back to look at Tia. “Yeah, I suppose so. At least I look, you know, hot.”

Tia blinked at Veronica, who held her gaze expectantly.

“No, sorry, Vee, that was just crap. That was such a bad dad joke.” Tia shook her head in exasperation. “Honestly! I thought goths were meant to be funnier than that.”

Veronica sighed. “Yeah, well, me too.”

Her contemplative stare out to the sea was evidently meant to be intense, but no one, not even someone as goth as Veronica, could ever look too intense while eating an ice cream.

“Is that why you bought me an ice cream in the first place?” Tia asked, still teasing, trying to coax Veronica to open up a little more. “Were you trying to make up for your dad jokes in advance?”

Veronica managed a smile. “Partly. And - partly to say thanks for sticking up for me last night.”

Last night. Tia cringed internally.

“Yeah, well,” Tia muttered, shuffling uncomfortably. “You were homesick. You didn’t need that.”

Veronica’s stare was fixed on the horizon as she continued. “I … don’t think I realised how homesick I would be.”

“It’s normal, Vee. You’re not - you don’t have to put on a hard front just because you like wearing black; you’re allowed to be emotional too. It’s not like the rest of us haven’t been homesick as well.” Tia gave her a nudge in the shoulder. “You saw me bawling about it, didn’t you?”

——

All it had taken for Tia to get homesick was for that Doja Cat song to come on Tia’s shuffle while she was waiting for the kettle to boil.

It was Thursday morning, the week after lectures started, and Tia was already feeling like shit. The reality that she was here to study had kicked in, and she’d spent half the night awake worrying about her first assignment. But when the song had come on, Tia had been instantly flooded with the memory of her mum attempting that TikTok dance with her, falling about in laughter when she’d failed. That had been enough for Tia to break down, sobbing so hard that she didn’t have the energy to finish making her cup of tea.

Aurora hadn’t come home the previous night, spending the night at Tayce’s halls after Wicked Wednesdays at the union bar, and Ellie’s 8.15 lecture had already started; so Tia knew that when she heard a creaking of the door in the hallway that it would be Veronica.

“What’s up, love?” She’d whispered cautiously, but Tia had just cried harder at her words, so she’d simply rubbed her back and shoulders and made her a brew as Tia had tried to stop crying.

“D’you miss your mum?” Veronica had asked, peering up at her in concern, Tia’s free hand clasped tenderly in both of hers.

“I’m sorry, I’m being stupid,” Tia had managed to mumble through her tears.

“Don’t say that, you’re not being stupid at all,” Veronica had soothed, looping her hand into the crook of Tia’s elbow. “Tell you what, come into my room and we’ll put on a film, eh?”

“I - I have a lecture at 11 -“

“You’re not going anywhere, someone will get you the notes.”

Tia was surprised at how determined Veronica was to take care of her, pulling her into her immaculately tidy room and setting the tablet up with Netflix. She hadn’t expected Veronica’s first choice in a comfort film to be Finding Nemo, or for Veronica to toss the blankets over both of them and curl up next to Tia, handing her tea and the pack of Hobnobs that she’d only bought the day before.

They didn’t really speak at all.

Tia felt herself calm down gradually, laughing and tearing up at the film, passing biscuits back and forth with Veronica, sharing the progression of emotions with her as they came and went.

It was a depth of care that Tia felt to her bones.

Not that the other two girls on their floor would have been bad company. She knew that Aurora would have given her a hug and a peck on the cheek, told her she was amazing and she was smashing it and how much she herself was feeling the pressure of being away from home too. She knew that Ellie would have cracked a few jokes and tried to make her laugh, maybe telling her a funny story of something she’d seen Aurora do, or one of the scores of new friends she’d already made.

They both would have tried to be helpful in the best and most loving way they knew how.

But Tia wouldn’t have been able to take in encouragement from Aurora, and she didn’t want to laugh even if Ellie had succeeded in making her.

Somehow Veronica knew that Tia didn’t need someone to make noise for the sake of noise. She didn’t need hugs. She just needed … company. She just needed someone there to be with her.

“Thanks, Vee,” Tia had said finally, unable to meet Veronica’s eyes. “I - I feel a lot better now.”

“It’s alright,” Veronica had murmured, threading her fingers into Tia’s and squeezing. “Come back any time.”

——

“What made you want to come to Brighton?” Veronica asked, breaking into Tia’s memories.

They had moved to a free spot on the beach itself, sitting on a towel under Veronica’s parasol - seriously, why did she have a parasol? - the heat now starting to break as the evening drew in. Tia was taking a swig from her bottle of water, while Veronica was digging into the sand with her hands, pulling up handfuls and letting the grains slip through her fingers.

Tia shrugged in response. “The course. Being by the coast. Lesbians. The usual.”

“Oh.” Veronica stifled a laugh. “Like me then. The usual.”

The forced nonchalance of her tone made Tia snort with laughter.

“Where are you from again?” Tia asked her.

“Lancashire. Took five hours for my dad to drive me down here last month. Five bloody hours.” Veronica held up five fingers as if she hadn’t given enough emphasis already. “I wanted to come here for a bit of a fresh start, I suppose. No one I know from school went this far south. I thought maybe I’d have - I don’t know. A reinvention. A renaissance, fitting on my History course, eh?”

“Yeah,” Tia nodded.

“But you can’t shake off the old habits,” Veronica muttered darkly.

“What do you mean?”

“People - just thinking I’m stuck-up.” Veronica sighed, digging back into the sand. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

——

The previous night had been tense. Aurora’s friend Tayce had asked about the roommate who never seemed to leave her room, and Aurora had groaned an exaggerated groan, running her hands through her hair.

“I’m so sick of Veronica’s martyr act,” Aurora had declared at the sound of Veronica’s name, her voice ringing in the kitchen and through the open doorway to the hall.

“Don’t be stupid,” Tia had said, nudging Aurora in the ribs. “She’s not a martyr.”

“She is. She’s playing the martyr. I mean, she’s nice when you speak to her,” Aurora had shrugged, “but she doesn’t really want to talk to us, does she? She doesn’t make an effort, it’s always us making the effort with her. Like she’s too good for us. We’re just normal and she’s special just because she likes some bloody moody bands from the eighties.”

Tayce had raised her eyebrows, grinning her usual wolfish grin and sniggering silently behind her hand.

“She doesn’t think she’s special,” Tia had retorted, but Aurora had just rolled her eyes.

“It annoys me. People like her want to be different but they are all the same as each other. They want to conform to show that they don’t conform. How does that make sense? She just wants the attention.”

That was when they’d all heard the door slam.

“Good going, Aurora,” Tia had hissed. “She must have heard you.”

Aurora had chewed her tongue nervously, a flush creeping up her neck, but she stood her ground. “Whatever. I’m not wrong, am I?”

“You are wrong, actually,” Tia had replied, her voice suddenly louder than Aurora’s, “because you just don’t give her the chance. She’s not playing anything. She’s just - I don’t know, shy. And missing her home. And I bet you’re not making it any easier for her to feel like she can come talk to you. Leave her alone.”

Tayce’s sniggers had become too loud to cover up, and she turned to bury her face into Aurora’s shoulder. Aurora, her face now red as a tomato, had chewed her lips and shaken her head in exasperation.

“Whatever.”

With that, she’d swept away to her own room, Tayce on her heels. Tia had hung back, remembering Veronica’s kindness towards her, knowing that she was probably going through it as well. Ellie and Aurora had both had tough days, too. They all had.

Tia had stopped outside Veronica’s room and knocked gently at her door.

“Vee?”

But Veronica didn’t answer initially. Tia knew it was wrong to barge in, but she’d found the door unlocked.

“I’m opening the door - tell me to go - or I’m coming in -“

But Veronica had called “Come in” in the smallest voice, and Tia pushed the door open.

Veronica was curled on her side on the bed, staring at the wall, tracing the paint on it with her finger. When Tia had pushed the door closed and sat on the bed next to Veronica, she could see that her face was red and patchy and her eyes bloodshot.

“Is that really what they all think? That I’m an attention-seeker?”

Her voice had broken as she spoke. She rolled onto her back to face Tia, searching her eyes for honesty, and Tia thought she seemed as angry as she was upset at the way she had been spoken about.

Tia had shaken her head. “I don’t think that. I think -”

I think you’re really lovely.

The words wouldn’t come out, and Tia realised that they went deeper than she’d previously thought. But Veronica’s eyes had softened, and she’d laid her hand on Tia’s, almost as if she’d heard her thoughts. “Thank you.”

——

“They’re nice, you know, Aurora and Tayce are,” Tia replied, and Veronica looked up at her. “Just - I don’t know - don’t be scared of them.”

“Aurora’s got some preconceived idea about me because of how I look.”

“Okay, but you do too,” Tia sighed. “You think Aurora and Tayce won’t want to talk to you because they’re the coolcrowd. I get it, I feel like that too sometimes. But Aurora just takes a bit of time to get to know, and trust me, she’s just tough for show; she’s really sweet and caring underneath it all. Like you,” Tia added.

“I guess.” Veronica muttered.

“I mean - you’re right, things don’t just change when you move away, you have to make them change.”

Veronica huffed.

“You know I’m right,” Tia said.

“Yeah, I do. Sorry.” She shrugged dismissively. “Dad always tells me off for being stubborn. Maybe Aurora had a point.”

A seagull landed dangerously near to Veronica, and she kicked out at it. When it didn’t immediately fly away, Tia sat up on her knees and waved a hand, until it scurried away to a safe distance.

“This place is giving me lots of Clacton vibes.” Tia stretched out her legs again. “My mum used to take me there every summer, and it’s the same as here! Some sand, some chips in a cone, seagulls shitting everywhere, a few rides, you get the idea.”

“Rides?” Veronica spun to Tia at that word, her eyes lighting up suddenly. “I didn’t know if you liked rides! Do you want to go on a ride on the pier? Or the Ferris wheel or something? Is there a waltzer? I love the waltzers, oh my God -“

“I don’t know, do I! I’ve only lived here for as long as you have!”

But Tia couldn’t have resisted the spark of joy that came to Veronica’s face if she’d tried, holding back laughter at Veronica’s sudden burst of enthusiasm. She got up and pulled Veronica to her feet, and Veronica hooked a hand through Tia’s arm in what was becoming a wonderfully familiar gesture, to pull her along the seafront towards the pavilion and the amusement arcade.

“Waltzers!” Veronica cried, squeezing Tia’s arm and pointing at the waltzers fifty yards away. She dragged Tia towards them with surprising strength for such a tiny woman.

But Tia was worried. Is this the time to mention I’ve never been on them? That I hate spinning round and round?

“Am I gonna vom?” Tia asked nervously. “I don’t want to vom. Do they spin you?”

“Yeah, they do, but you won’t puke, promise.”

“You sure?” Tia eyed the waltzer, but Veronica nodded earnestly.

“Yeah, I’m sure. My brother gets car sick and he loves the waltzers too, come on, you’ll be fine.”

Partly, Tia was watching the other people in the booths shrieking with delight as they spun in their booths, but mostly, she saw a happy side to Veronica that she hadn’t seen a great deal of, and found she wanted to experience it with her.

Things don’t just change when you move away, you have to make them change.

“Alright, I’m coming on.”

The next three minutes were a blur. A fast, dizzying blur. Tia just remembered screaming until her throat hurt and clinging onto the bar for dear life as she leaned into Veronica, who screeched loud enough to wake the actual dead, the g-force sticking them to each other and the back of the booth like glue.

But it was so fun that Tia wanted to go again.

“Vee,” Tia muttered, as they stepped back off, “I’m covered in your nail marks, hun.” She showed Veronica her forearm, where her nails had dug in, leaving tiny crescent-moon indents in her skin.

Veronica grimaced. “Sorry. Can I make it up to you?”

“Another ice cream?”

“I was thinking of Spoons.” Veronica pointed to the pub on the seafront. “It’s getting too cold here now for ice cream.”

——

The sun had set and the seafront had a definite chill in the air as Tia and Veronica sat together on the terrace outside Spoons. They watched the people around them as they passed, the ride operators for the kids rides as they packed away, and the daytime folk, as a handful of teenagers started to appear, getting on the rides themselves.

The rush of the waves as the tide crept in, and Veronica’s persistent humming, filled the space between them. Veronica had shuffled her chair right next to Tia’s, and the song was irritatingly familiar, but Tia couldn’t quite remember it.

“What is that song you keep humming?” Tia asked Veronica finally.

“Oh - nothing.” Veronica swallowed hard.

“Really?” Tia grinned at her. “Is it The Cure or something?”

“Yeah - yeah, it’s The Cure.” Veronica said quickly. “Disintegration. Great album.”

“It sounds like it,” Tia nodded, secretly hoping she’d never have to be subjected to it. Veronica fell completely silent after that, a little self-conscious, and Tia felt a little uncomfortable for the first time that day.

“That woman’s the fortune teller at the Pavillion,” Tia motioned as she passed, trying to ease the tension. “Tayce got her palm read by her at freshers’ week. She thought Tayce was from Yorkshire! She couldn’t even read her mind and see she’s Welsh!”

“Fortune telling?” Veronica shook her head. “Just a cheap trick, cold reading more like.”

“I can do it! Give me your hand and I’ll show you.”

Tia took Veronica’s nearest hand that lay on the table, and pulled it towards her. Veronica shuffled in even closer, leaning into Tia’s arm. She was much shorter than Tia, her chin only just resting on Tia’s shoulder, and Tia found her warm weight more distracting than she thought she would.

“So,” Tia mused, stroking her thumb slowly down Veronica’s palm, “this line here, that’s your life line, this long one here in the middle of your palm. See it?”

Veronica didn’t speak, but she gave a hum of agreement, her lips perking at the corners into a dreamy smile. Tia caught a hint of the surprisingly light floral perfume she wore, a vague scent of apple from her hair.

“This line here,” Tia mumbled, rapidly losing her train of thought, running a thumb along the palm of Veronica’s hand. “This line, it’s - your life line. I said that already. Erm. It means that you … spend your life … in lines. All sorts of lines. Lines for rides, lines at the shop, Tube lines -“

“Give over.” Veronica sounded almost a little disappointed. She took another swig of her drink, almost draining the glass.

“Your love of lines has been exposed now, Vee. You can’t hide it any longer.”

To her surprise, Veronica was laughing.

“I like that you’ve given me a nickname. No one else does. It’s nice. Feels like …” Her eyes were pensive, and she shrugged, unable to think of a word. “I don’t know. But I like it.”

Veronica’s tone was light and airy, but Tia felt goosebumps spread on her neck and arms at the sound of her voice, and her chest fluttered, filled with sudden butterflies.

This moment felt pivotal, like a turning point.

Are we - catching feelings?

Sure, Veronica was interesting enough, and kind - if a little stubborn - and every time they had been alone together, they seemed to have an instinctual connection that Tia couldn’t explain. But it felt quite fast, and still, Tia wasn’t quite sure what Veronica was feeling for her.

After all, Tia thought to herself, I’m just a maths nerd who makes crap jokes sometimes.

“And this line …” Tia moved her thumb up over Veronica’s palm, “this is the … the Bakerloo line and it means … there is maintenance over the weekend so plan your journey well in advance.”

Veronica nearly choked on the mouthful of her drink, instantly breaking the spell. “That makes no sense at all! Anyway, I’m more interested in this one,” Veronica added, putting down her glass and pointing, “that’s the love line. I know that much. What does that one say?”

“I was just getting to that one. Save the best for last and all.” Tia feigned exasperation as Veronica’s face grew more and more red even under her makeup.

“Your love line is here,” Tia began, looking back at Veronica, staring enraptured at her hand in Tia’s, her smile a mile wide. “And it says that … you … I don’t know, you’re going to meet a tall, beautiful stranger.”

Tia meant that to be casual, but Veronica curled her fingers around the thumb that was still stroking her palm, and gave it a squeeze.

“Alright,” she said softly, “maybe palm reading isn’t all bollocks.”

——

Tia found that she hadn’t wanted Veronica to let go of her hand.

Luckily, Veronica didn’t seem to want to let go, either.

Tia wasn’t the biggest fan of physical contact, and she hadn’t thought Veronica was either, until this evening, as they walked home, hand in hand this time, after the wine was drained. One glass of wine each wasn’t enough to make either of them drunk, but both of them were light and happy, even as they got back to the halls.

“Thanks for asking me to come with you,” Veronica said, her smile lighting up the rest of her face.

“Vee, you don’t have to thank me. You’re … I don’t know.” Tia sighed. “It was a fun day.”

The hallway was quiet and dark. Ellie and Aurora were still out evidently, and in the half-light, Tia was conscious that Veronica still had her hand, a gesture that felt so familiar and so exposed for them both.

Tia cleared her throat. “Alright. Night then.”

Veronica nodded. “Night, Tia.”

Neither of them moved.

Tia hadn’t really noticed before how intense Veronica’s stare was, or how bright blue her eyes were underneath the layers of black eyeliner; but she felt it now even though it was getting dark; and it felt like Veronica was trying to tell her something, drawing her into her eyes.

Wait. This is uni. There’s no going home after a day out. We live here together. We can do what we want.

“I mean -“ Tia shifted from one foot to another. “We don’t have lectures tomorrow, it’s Sunday isn’t it? Or are you tired, do you want to get to sleep?”

“No, I’m not tired - what - what did you have in mind?”

“Finding Dory this time?”

“Can do,” Veronica tilted her head as if pondering the idea. “Yeah. You set up, I’ll take my makeup off.”

Within fifteen minutes they were both in their pyjamas, curled up together in Tia’s bed this time, passing Veronica’s Hobnobs between them. The tablet played Finding Dory, balanced on Tia’s knees. The night had turned colder and Tia had insisted on Veronica bundling under the covers with her.

Tia left her hand out of the covers, in full view, and Veronica took the cue, grabbing her hand and interlacing their fingers. The film didn’t last long before Tia became distracted by Veronica running her thumb over Tia’s knuckles, as if in a dream, not even looking at the screen any more.

As the film came to an end, Tia realised she barely remembered the plot at all. She and Veronica had curled into one another, Tia’s head resting on Veronica’s, still clasping her hand. They didn’t move, Tia feeling their breathing fall into rhythm, until she felt Veronica’s deepening and realised it was pretty late.

“Are you tired, Vee?” Tia whispered.

Veronica hummed, stretching out her legs and yawning. “Yeah, a bit. I should go to bed.”

Tia missed the warmth of Veronica from the bed, the steady weight of her hand, from the moment she’d slipped from under the covers; but she followed her out, getting up to go to the door and lock it.

“Well. Night, Tia.”

Veronica reached to hug Tia, who had to bend to reach her, being a good eight or nine inches taller than Veronica. But when the hug lasted much longer than expected, Tia didn’t complain.

Nor did she find it strange when she felt Veronica’s lips softly graze her cheek, right by her ear. It wasn’t a familiar, friendly kiss. It was curious, testing the waters, wondering if this was really happening.

Tia’s heart fluttered when she returned the kiss, again on Veronica’s cheek, as if to answer the question.

But when Veronica pulled away, her eyes were fearful all of a sudden, and she seemed to lose her nerve, spinning round to make a quick exit, slipping away without another word.

Tia locked the door, now humming the tune that Veronica had been humming all day to herself.

It isn’t The Cure. I know it too. God, what is it?

Tia had to hum a few more bars to herself before she finally recognised it, and started singing the chorus to herself.

‘I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead.’

God, Tia thought to herself, not just me then.

[goldenraeofsun]

we can follow the sparks

More of this verse!

As they sit down to lunch, Alicia asks in a hushed voice, “Have you guys seen the new Latin teacher?” 

Josephine shakes her head as she bends down to pull out her history textbook. She’s one of those miraculous people that can study, gossip, and eat all at the same time.

If Alicia tried that, she’d dump bits of tomato on her book, ask “what?” every two minutes, and absorb zero percent of the reading.

“I have Latin tomorrow,” Aidan says as he digs into a container of leftover spaghetti.

“Oh, you don’t count,” Alicia waves him off and nudges her brother with to pay attention. Max looks up from haggling with Krissy for half of her pastrami sandwich.

Aidan's brow furrows. “Why?”

“Because you’re straight,” Alicia dismisses.

Krissy dumps the pastrami in front of Max and grabs half of his grilled tofu and veggie sandwich and his kale chips in return. Max’s face falls.

Aidan scowls at Alicia. “What, is the new teacher hot or something?”

Alicia scoffs, “Or something.”

Max’s face lights up hopefully. “Hotter than Mr. Winchester?” 

“Mr. W isn’t hot,” Krissy points out, nose wrinkling.

Alicia rolls her eyes. “You are literally the only senior who thinks that.”

“The only student,” Max corrects as he takes a hearty bite of pastrami.

Alicia holds out her hand, which Max slaps obligingly. Thank god Alicia has her twin. 

“Maybe Kaia has had him,” Josephine points out as Kaia takes the only free seat at their lunch table, Claire close on her heels. They both squeeze in, content to practically sit in each others’ laps.

Alicia rounds on the newcomers. “Have you had Latin?”

“I take Spanish,” Kaia says, shrugging. “Why?”

With her nose already buried in her book, Josephine supplies, “Alicia says the new teacher is hot.”

Claire chokes on her own spit.

“I heard from Patience he also teaches French and Spanish too,” Max says in a hushed voice.

“Oh,” Kaia says with a sidelong glance at Claire, “I have Spanish tomorrow.”

Claire silently hands Kaia half of her wrap, saying, “I’m not taking a language this year.”

“You can do that?” Krissy asks.

Kaia passes Claire her yogurt without looking at her because they are truly the most disgusting couple ever. Claire shrugs. “I was taking Mandarin at my old school, but obviously I can’t do that here.”

“At Carver,” Aidan spits.

Claire ignores him. “I’m taking AP English and Creative Writing instead.”

“Nice,” Max raises his fist for her to bump, “double Mr. Winchester.”

Claire makes a face. “I’m with Krissy on this one. I don’t get the appeal.”

Max shakes his head despondently. “Of course you don’t. You’re a lesbian.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes,” Claire snorts. “He’s old.”

“Nobody’s had Latin, French or Spanish yet?” Alicia asks, aghast.

“Hey!” Adian calls, “Alex!”

Alex looks up from the next table over where she’s squished between Patience and Tracy Bell. “What?” she demands, annoyed at the interruption.

Aidan smirks and says out of nowhere, “Do you think Mr. Novak is hot?”

Patience giggles and elbows Alex in the side as she splutters, “No!”

“That’s a yes,” Alicia says smugly.

* * *

Josephine approaches Mr. Novak’s desk cautiously, a little nervous to be talking to her new teacher one-on-one for the first time. She tries, “Professeur?”

Mr. Novak pauses wiping down the board. “Est-ce que tu as un problème avec les devoirs?”

Josephine shakes her head, saying slowly as she mentally translates, “Je n’ai pas ma copie de l'étranger. Je l’ai acheté le weekend dernier, mais il y a un… delay.”

“Retard,” Mr. Novak translates for her. He smiles and adds, “Pas de problème. Je garde toujours une autre copie dans mon bureau. Si tu voudrais bien me suivre.” He gestures for Josephine to follow him to the Language Office, but they stop short at the sight of Mr. Winchester standing in the doorway, staring at Mr. Novak with wide eyes.

“Dean,” Mr. Novak says in surprise. “Qu’est-ce qui s’passe?”

Mr. Winchester goes bright red. “Cas?” he asks weakly.

Mr. Novak gives his head a little shake. “My apologies. It’s been a long day. Is there something you need me for? I was just about to give Josephine my office copy of The Stranger.”

Mr. Winchester’s mouth opens and closes before he stutters, “N-no, it’s nothing. I’ll just… catch you later.” 

Josephine glances up at Mr. Novak as they turn the other way down the hall, towards the Language Office. “C’est bizarre,” she mutters.

Mr. Novak laughs lightly under his breath. “Peut-être il a oublié ce qu’il voulait me demander.”

Josephine inwardly frowns at the suggestion that Mr. Winchester “forgot” why he stopped by Mr. Novak’s classroom.

Josephine had Mr. Winchester for English as a freshman. He never forgot anything. He had an endless supply of Vonnegut quotes on hand, and he always remembered to ask Krissy how her dad was doing after he had a close call with cancer over spring break that year.

This time, he didn’t look like a man who couldn’t remember something; he looked embarrassed.

“Peut-etre,” Josephine echoes because she wasn’t about to just say all that to a new teacher. And in French.

In his office, Mr. Novak hands her a copy of Camus. “Voilà,” he says, completely straight faced. “Si tu as besoin d’autres choses, viens me voir.”

Josephine bobs a nod. “Merci beaucoup.”

“Au revoir,” he says with a little wave as she leaves the office.

Josephine meets up with Krissy by the front doors, half-heartedly fending off Aidan’s shitty flirting. “Hey,” she says. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No problem,” Krissy says easily. She pushes off the wall. “Aidan was keeping me company.” She smiles at him, and Aidan perks up like Pavlov’s dog hearing the dinner bell. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Aidan says faintly as Krissy and Josephine take off towards Josephine’s car.

Josephine waits until Krissy is buckled in to say, “You’ll never believe what happened after French today.”

* * *

Krissy has never regretted taking German more in her life. Edlund’s a pretty small high school with a little over 500 students in total, so all anyone’s been talking about for the first two weeks in September is the new language teacher, Mr. Novak. 

Alicia and Max think he’s hot.

Josephine thinks he’s nice.

Aidan thinks he’s cool.

Kaia thinks… well, she’s been pretty mum on the subject, but she’s not the gossipy type, so Krissy isn’t surprised.

Only Claire rolls her eyes every time Mr. Novak’s name comes up.

Krissy hasn’t met the new language teacher. If she’s lucky, she can catch a glimpse of messy hair and a rumpled suit while she speed-walks from Calculus to World History.

While investigating Mr. Novak himself might be difficult, Krissy is close with Mr. W. 

She can still remember how Mr. W’s footsteps sounded down the hospital hallway in the oncology wing; how her heart pounded in her chest the first time she got in his car; how he talked for forty-minutes about “his baby” all the way to Josephine’s house.

Once a week for a month in freshman year, Mr. W chauffeured Krissy from the hospital on Tuesdays (Josephine’s parents took her on the weekends). Occasionally, he stopped in to talk to her dad, since they both went to Edlund High years ago. Edlunders, as Mr. W said, always took care of their own.

On the car ride to Josephine’s, they talked about Vonnegut, surrealist fiction, dystopian sagas… They only skipped over classic literature, since Mr. W thought everything written before the 20th century was boring as fuck. Mr. W did allow Shakespeare, though, because of all the dick jokes. 

Krissy knocks on the door to the Language Office three weeks into the school year. While she’d like to pretend to herself her visit is to get Mr. W’s opinion on Mr. Novak (his opinion would be more reliable than Alicia, Max, and Aidan combined, and on par with Josephine’s) she can’t pretend the mild haze of panic clouding her head has anything to do with a teacher she doesn’t even have on her schedule.

“Come in!” Mr. W’s voice calls.

Krissy steps inside, nodding to Frau Allen at her desk by the window. Otherwise, the office is empty.

“Hey, Krissy,” Mr. W says with a smile as she fiddles with the strap of her back, hovering by the door. “You wanna take a seat? Cas already left for the day.” He gestures to what Krissy assumes is Mr. Novak’s desk, next to his.

Krissy sits. “Thanks.”

Mr. W’s lighthearted expression turns serious as he reads her face. “Is everything okay? Your dad doing well?”

“Oh yeah,” Krissy says quickly, “still in remission. Everything’s looking good.”

“Good,” he says emphatically, and he means it, not like Ms. Masters or Mr. Trent after the news went around school that her dad was sick.

Krissy taps her fingers on Mr. Novak's vacated desk. “What happened to Mr. Turner? Did he finally retire?”

“Mm hm,” Mr. W hums. “He still goes fishing with Bobby - Principal Singer - so I heard he’s doing well.”

“How’s the new guy?” Krissy asks as she spins the seat around.

Mr. W frowns at her question. “He’s good,” he says as he pins her in place with a long look. “Why the interest? Don’t you take German?”

“I’ve been considering switching,” Krissy lies. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Frau Allen make a face.

“Because that makes sense,” Mr. W says, clearly not believing a word. “Aren’t you in AP German?”

Krissy ignores the question. “I heard Mr. Novak came from Carver.”

“He did,” Mr. W says cautiously. “So what?”

“Maybe he’s a spy.”

“This is high school, not the USSR,” Mr. W says with a snort. “Plus, Cas was an Edlunder first.”

Krissy blinks. “He was?”

“He was a student in my year.” He smirks. “He actually tutored me in Latin, if you can believe it.”

Krissy mulls that over. “So you know him pretty well.”

“Well enough,” Mr. W says, back to being cagey as hell. “I know he’s a good teacher and this school’s lucky to have him.”

“Okay,” Krissy says dubiously.

Mr. W rolls his eyes. “Now we’ve got that out of the way, and god knows why you wanted to talk about Cas, why are you really here?”

“Everyone’s talking about him!” Krissy protests.

Mr. W leans back in his chair and surveys her with a cool eye. “Since when have you been interested in gossip?”

“Uh…”

“That’s what I thought,” Mr. W says, satisfied. “Just spit it out, kid. I promise it can’t be that bad.”

“Would you write me a recommendation letter for college?” she asks in a rush. “Please.”

Whatever Mr. W had been expecting, it wasn’t that. He laughs, and Krissy almost dies of embarrassment before he says, “Well duh. I have a draft of the thing I’ve been sitting on for two years.”

“Really?” Krissy asks, her eyes round.

Mr. W nods. “After everything with your dad, I thought this might come up. And there were parts I didn’t want to forget so I wrote ‘em down.”

“Great,” Krissy says faintly. She shouldn’t be so surprised. Mr. W told her he always liked to be prepared. A true boy scout, he’d say before laughing to himself. 

When she’d voiced her confusion - Mr. W being a boy scout wasn’t all that outrageous, if you take away the minor swearing (he was a lot worse when she was a freshman). He said they didn’t take men like him.

Krissy tactfully changed the subject, but the next week she went to GSA for the first time.

It was worth giving up her Thursday lunch period to see Mr. W smile when she walked into his classroom for their weekly meeting. 

* * *

Max winces as Krissy elbows him in the ribs. He’s giving up his Thursday lunch hour for this?

Alan Corbett’s been going on and on for the past twenty minutes. Sure, he’s President of GSA, but that does not mean everything he says is worth listening to. It’s a shame. He’s too nice for anyone to tell him how boring he is. 

Kaia and Claire are playing footsie under the table.

Thank god Krissy gets it. As their only Straight rep of the Gay-Straight Alliance, Max was highly skeptical when she signed up at the end of freshman year. But Mr. Winchester liked her, so it was enough to convince Max not to give her the cold shoulder when she sat next to him. Plus, whatever Mr. Winchester says goes, since Max could listen to him read the dictionary with that ruggedly deep voice of his.

Max doubts Krissy’s heard a single word out of Alan’s mouth. Instead, her whole attention has been riveted on Mr. Novak, who’s attending his first GSA meeting. He sits off to the side, by the big poster of Game of Thrones (Mr. Winchester says it’s based on a book, so it counts).

Krissy scrawls in all caps on the back of a history assignment: HEART. EYES.

Max subtly shakes his head and picks up his pencil. WTF?

Look at how they’re looking at each other!

They’re not tho

Exactly! Krissy taps her last message forcefully. They keep look at each other when the other one is looking the other way

Why do you care?

Krissy frowns.

If I wanted gossip, I would’ve stayed in the cafeteria with Alicia

It’s Mr. W. I know you like him

I like to look at him Could care less about his love life I thought you were the same What gives?

You only pretend to be a shallow man whore I know you like him You started this club with him 3 years ago

How else could I find questioning dudes to fuck?

ew

But all I ended up with was… Max nods at Alan in disgust.

Krissy hides her smile behind the fist propping up her chin. You have the best gaydar in the city limits. So does Mr. W have a chance with Mr. Novak?

Mr. W flipped a closeted Republican, so… And I’m not talking about politics.

Seriously?

You didn’t hear it from me

You don’t even like gossip Who the hell told you that?

Alicia. Who else? She knows everything.

Max smirks as he starts his next note.

It’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.

Krissy doesn’t manage to stifle her laugh in time.

Mr. Novak frowns disapprovingly, but Mr. Winchester doesn’t notice since he’s too busy staring at Mr. Novak.

Maybe Krissy’s onto something.

Max looks down at their notes to find another message: Josephine told me Mr. W has it bad for Mr. Novak

Max scrawls incredulously, Josephine??? Since when does she pay attention?

That’s what I’m saying He’s got it so bad even Josephine can see it

Aromantic Josephine, who took a year to figure out Aidan was into you

Yup.

I bet they’ll be banging in 2 weeks

Can you not

$5 says I’m right

Make it $10. 

* * *

Aidan sulks against the wall of the gym. He finally got Krissy to agree to go to a dance - Homecoming! - and all she wants to do is hang with their friends.

And fine, it wasn’t like he expected them to sneak out and make out or do more stuff when they were alone… but he kind of did.

At least he got a couple of dances in. Before Krissy dragged him away, he even got to grind up against her. It was fucking magical.

Now, he’s at a table with Kaia and Josephine. Krissy is waving over Alicia, so Max can’t be far behind. Only Claire is a no-show, but Krissy told him a few minutes ago she was in the bathroom. Girls always take a bafflingly long time in there. Maybe there are snacks?

“Where’s Max?” Aidan asks loudly over the music. There’s only two of them; the Y chromosome reps gotta stick together. 

Alicia vaguely waves her hand toward the dance floor. “I think he mentioned something about Ennis Ross.” She spins the folding chair around to straddle it and rest her arms on the back.

Aidan draws up short. “Ennis is gay?”

Kaia snorts. “Does it matter?”

“Not to Max,” Krissy says with a grin. “You know he’s always happy to play the baking soda volcano.”

“Huh?” Aidan asks.

Krissy rolls her eyes. “He’s always happy to be someone’s experiment.”

“Oh.”

Alicia’s lips purse but she doesn’t comment.

“Did you see Mr. Novak and Mr. W?” Krissy asks, tipping her head towards where the two teachers lean against the wall underneath one of the basketball hoops, talking with their heads bowed together.

“They are cute,” Alicia agrees, looking grateful for the subject change.

Mr. Novak dressed up for homecoming with a tie the school colors, and Mr. Winchester has Edlund's mascot, Peppy the Pigeon, painted on his cheek.

“Do you think if Aidan spikes the punch, it’ll,” Krissy waggles her eyebrows, “make things happen?”

Josephine frowns. “I don’t think Mr. Novak could ever be drunk enough to make a move in front of students.”

“But Mr. W for sure,” Krissy says.

“Oh yeah,” Alicia says.

“Hey,” Aidan protests, holding his hands up in the T formation for timeout. “I’m not giving up my booze.”

“Speaking of,” Alicia holds her hand out, “Gimme some.”

“What? No! Get your own.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” she asks, eyebrows raised. “Mom doesn’t even allow Coca Cola in the house because it brings ‘negative energy.’”

Krissy nudges Aidan in the ribs with a pointy elbow, and he sighs. He fishes his flask out of his suit pocket and hands it over. Alicia takes a swig and promptly passes it to Josephine, who gives it to Kaia.

“Hey, save some for the guy who brought it!” Aidan says as he snatches it back.

“Not too much,” Max’s voice says from behind him. He grins as Aidan jumps. “Whiskey dick is a real thing.”

“Hey,” Josephine greets. “No go with Ennis?”

“Got spooked right as we were getting to the good stuff,” Max says with a shrug.

“Sorry,” Kaia says sincerely.

“It’s alright,” Max says as he throws himself into the last empty chair. “I only got one more year here, and then there’s gonna be a whole freshman class of questioning dudes ripe for the taking.”

Krissy wrinkles her nose. “You do you, I guess.”

“Thank you, Kristine, I will,” Max says.

Alicia rolls her eyes.

“We were just talking about Mr. W and Mr. Novak,” Krissy says, jerking her head to the basketball hoop. “Huh,” she says, her eyes widening a she scans the gym, “Where’d they go?”

“Probably to go make out,” Aidan says bitterly with a significant look at Krissy. She frowns.

“We can only dream,” Alicia says wistfully.

The song changes to something with a thumping baseline and a catchy chorus, and there’s a deafening cheer from the dance floor.

Aidan glances around, but nobody at the table moves to join in. He taps his feet to the beat. A few of the teacher chaperones have meandered closer to the dancing group, eyes peeled for inappropriate activity.

“Wanna get some air?” Aidan says in a carrying undertone (the music is very loud) to Krissy.

Max groans. “Yes, please.”

Aidan glares.

“Where?” Alicia asks.

Adian's mood sours further. He is never going to touch Krissy’s tits at this rate.

Kaia sets her phone down on the table. “Claire’s already out by the football field. She says nobody’s there.”

“Alright then,” Josephine says as she gets to her feet and stretches.

Krissy holds her hand out to Aidan. “Come on, you,” Krissy says with a small smile, “This was your idea.”

Aidan grumbles but follows the group. The halls are weird in the dark, still festooned with banners and streamers from Spirit Week. Everyone is oddly quiet as their footsteps echo off the rows of closed lockers. They pass one of the lab rooms, and a shadow moves across the window, accompanied by a hushed giggle.

Max smirks. “Wanna bet how many are getting it on right now?”

“I’d steer clear of the supply closets,” Alicia says with a shudder.

“Talk about a cliche,” Krissy complains as they round the last corner before the large double doors to the field. “If I was sneaking around, the roof is the way to go. No one ever looks there.”

Aidan files that fact away for later.

The fall breeze hits them squarely in the face as they step outside. Aidan shrugs out of his jacket and puts it around Krissy’s shoulders, ignoring her eye roll and smiling at Josephine’s thumbs-up behind Krissy’s back.

Max gallantly gives Alicia his jacket too, and Josephine and Kaia huddle together as they pick their way across the field, stepping over bits of confetti, torn bits of streamers, and a few abandoned signs. The crowd had been particularly enthusiastic since they’d been playing Carver Preparatory.

Edlund High won, of course. For the fifteenth year in a row. Carver sucks.

They find Claire at the top of the bleachers, wearing her normal leather jacket over her midnight blue dress.

“Hey,” Kaia says, kissing her on the cheek. “What’re you doing up here?”

“I don’t like crowds,” Claire says, hugging her arms to her chest.

“Me either,” Josephine says as she sits next to Claire. 

“You didn’t have to bring the cavalry,” Claire complains to Kaia.

Kaia shrugs. “They wanted to come.”

“The dance was lame,” Max says as he bounds up two bleachers at a time.

“Because you’re too cool to do the electric slide,” Alicia says as she plops down on the row below.

Krissy wanders around, searching for the best spot to sit out of the wind, Aidan’s coat still wrapped tightly around her shoulders. “Hey,” she hisses, hand flapping in their direction. “Look!”

“What?” Alicia leans over to see what Krissy’s spotted. “Holy fuck,” she breathes.

Aidan, Max, and Josephine peer over the railings to see the shadowy area below, leaving Kaia and Claire to their whispered conversation.

Holy fuck is right. That’s Mr. Winchester. And Mr. Novak.

“What are they doing?” Aidan asks before he can stop himself. It’s not like he doesn’t know what a heavy duty make out looks like. 

Max snorts.

Alicia throws him a despairing look.

Krissy swivels around to face Claire. “Did you know they were down there?”

“Yeah? So what?” Claire says, frowning. “I wasn’t about to perv on a couple of teachers.”

Krissy’s mouth falls open as she stares at the group as a whole. “Do you think this is the first time?”

Max sneaks another peek. “Probably not,” he says critically. “Either that, or Mr. Novak’s way more randy than I ever gave him credit for. A real freak under that suit.”

Claire’s face spasms.

“Or maybe Mr. Winchester just brings it out in him -” Alicia starts.

* * *

“They’ve been dating for three years!” Claire explodes. 

Everyone turns to stare at her.

Two months. Two goddamn months of this. 

When she transferred to Edlund from Carver, she thought the worst part would be her family’s disapproval. They all told her it was stupid to throw away her future at a good school for a girl. They always said it like that, like Kaia didn’t have a name. At least Uncle Cas supported her, not that he had a single leg to stand on, since he was switching jobs and taking a pay cut to be with Dean. Claire would have preferred if her uncle didn’t follow her from school to school like the dorkiest duckling ever, but it was nice to have him in her corner.

But no, the absolute worst part was all the gossip she had to listen to. About Uncle Cas, aka the biggest doof on the planet.

Maybe Grandmother was right, and Edlund was filled with a bunch of idiots. Claire throws up her hands, saying through gritted teeth, “Castiel transferred from Carver to spend more time with Dean.” 

“How do you know that?” Krissy asks, her mouth falling open.

Claire purses her lips. “Castiel’s my uncle.”

“Your what?” Aidan gapes.

Claire rolls her eyes. “He’s my uncle. Dean’s his boyfriend. They’re gross together all the damn time - but not in school because Uncle Cas has opinions about it.”

“If Mr. Winchester could make out with him all the time, he’d do it,” Kaia adds because she’s had dinner at Uncle Cas’s way too many times and has seen it for herself.

Krissy leans over the railing. “Get it Mr. W!”

Alicia cackles as Dean and Uncle Cas jump apart, glancing around for the voice.

Dean’s Peppy face paint is nothing but a smear of grey and black on his cheek. Double gross. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters as he spots the group on top of the bleachers. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” 

“I wanted to make out with my girlfriend,” Aidan complains. Krissy rolls her eyes, but Claire doesn’t miss the regretful expression on her face before she turns back to the pair of teachers below.

“Just getting some air,” Josephine explains pleasantly as she aims a kick at Aidan’s shin.

“Don’t let us interrupt!” Max calls wickedly.

Dean runs a hand down his face and nudges Uncle Cas with his shoulder. “We should escort them back, right?”

Uncle Cas sighs. “It would be irresponsible not to.” He glares at Dean. And even in the dark, Claire can see how red his face is. “I told you sneaking off was a bad idea.”

“Be thankful we didn’t get to my real bad idea before the Scooby Gang found us,” Dean says, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

“We can still hear you,” Claire reminds them loudly.

“Alright, alright,” Dean says, flapping his hands at them like a giant mother hen. “Get down from there and back to the dance. I heard someone spiked the punch.”

“Really?” Aidan asks as he offers Krissy his hand to help her down.

“No,” Dean deadpans. He mutters to Uncle Cas, “I can’t believe we got cockblocked by a bunch of kids.”

Claire makes a noise of disgust as her feet hit the ground. “Are you incapable of whispering?”

Uncle Cas shoots Dean a warning look before saying calmly, “Nothing was going to happen. We were, ah, getting some air.”

“That’s not all you were gonna get,” Dean says in an undertone.

Claire groans.

“Stop,” Uncle Cas tells Dean reproachfully. “I know you’re goading her. It’s inappropriate.”

“I’ll show you inappropr-”

Uncle Cas actually slaps his hand over Dean’s mouth. “Not another word, Dean.”

They are the worst. Claire pretends to trip Dean up as they pass her, and Dean flips her the finger when Uncle Cas looks the other way.

Claire waits for Kaia and the rest of the group, dawdling after the pair of teachers. Bemused, she watches as Krissy, Max, Aidan, and Alicia hand Kaia money. “What’s going on?” Claire asks.

“Your girlfriend fleeced us,” Aidan complains as he pockets his wallet.

Claire raises her eyebrows.

Kaia shrugs, but her face is as smug as Claire has ever seen it. “I just bet everyone else was wrong.”

Claire’s mouth falls open. “Were you betting on them?” she hisses, pointing at Uncle Cas and Dean.

“I thought it would take them two weeks to sleep together,” Max says.

“I bet two months,” Krissy adds.

“One month,” Alicia supplies.

“A year,” Aidan says with a helpless sort of look.

Claire swivels to glance at Josephine. “What about you?”

Josephine raises her hands in a gesture of innocence. “I had no idea, which is why I didn’t get involved.” She studies the pair ahead of them for a few steps, her eyes narrowing as Dean reaches over to ruffle Uncle Cas’s hair. “I would’ve said something stupid like ten years.”

Claire bursts out laughing.

“What?” Krissy asks, annoyed.

Claire nudges Kaia, who looks stricken. “Come on, you know she nailed it.”

“I did?”

Claire snorts. “They got together after their high school reunion,” she says as Josephine’s face lights up. “It took ten years for those dumb fucks to get their shit together.”

Without missing a beat Uncle Cas calls over his shoulder, “Claire, language!”

Kaia smothers her giggles into Claire’s shoulder.

[george-mackay-macfine]

Arguments

Requested

Synopsis: George and Y/N’s evening goes astray when George says the wrong thing to Y/N’s mother. 

Word count: 1,600

A/N This is heavily based off P.S I love you, I wanted to play off the opening scene with George being the lead because George with an Irish accent does things to me. 

I grunted as I pushed open the heavy door to George and I’s apartment building, feet crashing onto the concrete stairs as I began the climb of the five-foot walkup ahead of me. Body trembling with anger as I began the walk. 

“I know I should know this darlin’, but are you mad at me?” I didn’t turn as the sweetly accented voice float up the stairwell to me. “Baby?” 

Just ignore him Y/N, just wait until your in the apartment before you lose it.

Three floors to go. Just keep calm. Three floors to go. 

“I did something, didn’t I? I did something bad, right? Should… should I know what it is?” 

The third floor, nearly there. 

“Or is it something maybe you just think I did?” My foot stopped mid-step, I looked over my shoulder at him. He held his hands up stepping down a single step. “No, no, no… I did it! I did it, and I am so sorry love.” I turned again, walking up the stairs. “It was a bad thing I did. I’m so sorry.”

Two floors left, nearly home.

“Y/N wait.” I heard George’s feet hit the concrete as he bound up the floor. “Come on will you.” He stopped me. “Baby, you have to let me in on it. Are you waiting until we’re in the apartment to talk to me?” I nodded my head. “Are you going to make me sleep in the bathtub again?” George smirks. I ignore him spinning on my heel walking up the final step. I fiddled with the lock in the door, pushing it open, storming inside. 

“You said it! You know you said it!” George enters behind me, he shuts the door gently. I began to flick on the lights as we walked into the apartment. 

“I don’t know what I said, but I’m sure I didn’t mean it.” He tried, his hands untying the tie wrapped around his neck. 

“Yes, you did,” I screamed back, hands fiddling trying to unzip the dress on my back. “You mean everything you say,” 

“No, sometimes I mean nothing when I say something.” He held his hands out. 

“Something is never nothing.” I cried. “It’s always something.” “No, most of what I say is nothing, it’s just something to say.” I roll my eyes and begin to pull down the blinds. Once I’d finished I go back to awkwardly unzipping my dress, it’s normally a lot easier when George helped me. His hands worked the zipper down easily, often letting his fingertips tease my skin. 

“No, men say it’s just something to say to get away with saying something but they know they’re saying something every time they say it.”

“That makes no sense.” George finally began to yell, matching my tone. “Say what! What did I say?” 

“You said at my mother’s tonight you would have a baby, but that I’m not ready. TO MY MOTHER!!” I chucked the shoe I was holding at him. “You might as well have told her I was a lesbian.”

“Well, I am the only man you ever had,” George smirked triumphantly, I chucked another shoe at his head. He dodged it quickly, the stiletto flying over his head. 

"I dated Timmy Scofield for four months before I met you!” I spat out, unable to find a better comeback. 

“Isn’t she a woman now?” 

“You told my mother I didn’t want children!” I screamed, unable to believe I was fighting with this guy over this, why couldn’t he just admit I was wrong. 

“I didn’t say that…” 

“You said exactly that...Yes, you did.” 

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t say ‘you weren’t ready’ for a baby right now. I said you wanted to wait.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Which means I don’t want one now!”

“Right.”

“Thank you.” I began to put my things away, unable to continue to fight with him when he pulls that adorably confused face. 

“Wait a minute. Did I just lose that point?” George began, unable to comprehend what had happened. “I’m confused.”

“You’re not confused, you’re just wrong! 'Y/N’s not ready’... We had a plan George, to wait to have children until we could afford to buy a house… to put 25 per cent of each paycheck into a separate joint account. Why didn’t you tell my mother that!” I snatched the pillow from him, chucking it to the side.  

“Each paycheck? You only just started getting regular paychecks. You quit five jobs in two years.”

“Well, I can’t work for idiots.” 

“They can’t all be idiots.”

“Yes! They can!…and  why didn’t you tell my mother about the business loan you and Dean took out without asking me.” I lent across the bed, glaring at him. 

“Finally, the truth comes out.” George threw his hands up in the air. “I knew that was why you were angry. It’s like pulling teeth out with you,” He pulled at his hair. “Just tell me what it is, instead of playing these dumb games,”  

“That’s not the reason I’m angry.” George rolled his eyes. “It’s not. I just think we should have waited,”

“Waited for what? I’ve been doing stages for other people for years. Dean and I buy the equipment, and a warehouse and use our connections then that’s a career right there!”

“What if it doesn’t work out? What if we always have to live here? And what about what I want? What if I wanted to quit my job? Huh? You think I want to be a school teacher? Maybe there are other things I want to do in my life.” 

"Like what?”

“I don’t know! Other things,” 

“Like what Y/N.” 

“I don’t know, things.”

“You want to quit, then quit. The job makes you crank at home every bloody day anyway. You want have a baby, let’s do it.”

“See, I hate when you do that.” I pulled at my own hair. 

“Do what.” 

“Let’s have a baby,” I began to mimic George. “In a five-floor walk-up, we can’t even move in.” I pointed over my shoulder to the window. “I'll change the babies nappies on the window sill.” 

“Baby…” 

“Why do I always have to be the responsible grown-up who worries? Why can’t I be the cute carefree English guy who sings all the time?"

“Because you can’t sing without making dogs bark?” I spun to glare at him. “Baby, people have babies with no money all the time.” He pointed to my shoes.  “You want to save money, you just have to stop wearing designer clothes.”

“It doesn’t count if your wearing Marc Jacobs from eBay.”

“Do you want to have a baby?”

“Do you?”

“Yes. I do.”

“See, there it is.” 

“See what?” 

“I know what your say George even when you don’t say it, George!” 

“Oh, you mean the two conversations thing? The one we’re having and the one you think we’re having.” George began to unbutton his shirt, I momentarily forget what we were arguing about as I saw his six-pack.  

“You said that to my mother because you’re mad at me for not wanting children yet,” I screamed. “And because I’m not fun anymore. And we don’t have enough hot... nasty... sex… I know what you’re really saying” I threw another pillow to the ground.  “And I’m always bitching about bills. That’s what you’re really saying! Why don’t you just be honest and say it!! Say what you mean!”

“All right. I want to have more hot nasty sex.” He pulled his shirt off. 

“George.” 

 “Or the other kind is fine,” 

“What you’re really saying is this isn’t the life you wanted, is it?"

“I never said that. Is that what you’re saying?”

“And what if this is it, George, This is all there is to our life!”

“What does that mean?" 

“It means this is it! We’re a married couple who own a limo service who may or may not have children. End of story.” 

“What other story do you want?”

“I don’t know,” George walks towards me, I walk backwards my back hitting the wall. George’s hands go on either side of his body. 

“What do you want?” He screamed. “What is it?” He lowered his head.  “Cause I’m tired of trying to figure it out. You want a bigger apartment. I’ll take a second job. You want a child. You don’t want a child. What!... I know what I want because I have it in my hands right now. Do you? Do you know what you want? Because you better tell me now if I’m not it!” I grabbed his face and pulled him into me, unable to bear not being close to him. His lips moved quickly against mine his tongue pushing into my mouth. His right hand went to my hair, his left pulled me up pushing me against the wall. “Baby.” He mumbled against my mouth. “I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing to your mum. I still get nervous around her. I still think after nine years she doesn’t like me. I know I’m being stupid.”

“You’re not being stupid. She doesn’t like you.” I whispered pushing my lips against his even harder. “I do want you, always. You know how I know? Because after all this time, I still wake up every morning just so I can see you again.” I pushed my hand down towards the bulge in his pants. 

“Is the hot nasty sex still on the table?” George whispered lips on my neck. 

[thevelvetseries]

The Heart Wants What It Wants

Summary : The Ackles oldest daughter Y/N has been growing up hiding a secret from her whole family and the entire world. She tries her best to keep it hidden, until one day her secret is released to the world.

Pairing : Jensen Ackles x Daughter Reader / Danneel Ackles x Daughter Reader / JJ Ackles / Arrow Ackles / Zeppelin Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki

Warnings : Lesbian Reader, Forced Out, Swearing, Drinking

A/N : I had just finished reading the book ‘Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda’ and really enjoyed it. After watching the movie with a few friends it gave me the idea to write a short one-shot about a female reading being outed.

Main Masterlist

I was currently sitting in my last period of the day at school. We had 10 minutes left until the end of the day. I was meeting Bram, Alexandra, Hannah, Nick and Marcus we were heading to the mall after school to look around get dinner and see a movie like we do every Friday. Once the bell rang, I put away my books and picked up my coat and leave the classroom and head over to my locker to grab the rest of my books to take with me for the weekend. While I was placing books in my bag Hannah bounced up to me.

“Hey Y/N” she says while leaning up against the locker next to mine. She was wearing a light blue top with black skinny jeans and some simple sneakers. She looked amazing she always did. They way she would do her makeup and hair everyday she looked beautiful.

“Hey Han, have you seen the others.” I say while closing my bag, placing it on the floor to put my coat on.

“They are walking to us now” she points behind me and I see Bram, Nick, Marcus and Alexandra walking our way. I close my locker pick up my bag and we all had outside. Since there is 6 of us we take two cars, in the mornings I pick up Hannah, Nick since they live on near me while Bram picks up Marcus and Alexandra. We get into our cars and head off to the mall for the night.

Around 8pm I get home. When I pulled up in the driveway I noticed that Jared and Gen were over. I park my car and turn off my engine. I take an deep breath, and lean my head against the headboard and closed my eyes. After 5 minutes I grab my bag and head inside. I open the front door, took my shoes of sand hanged up my coat on the hook by the door. I walk into the kitchen place my bag on the counter and grab myself a bottle of water. I had drank about half the bottle when dad walked in the room.

“Hey kiddo, how was school today?” He asked while giving me a kiss on the head while continuing over to the kettle and tuning it on.

“It was ok, nothing out of the ordinary.” I say while putting the lid back on my water bottle. “I saw the Padalecki’s are here” I say while pointing to the living room.

“Yeah, they decided to come over tonight.” Jensen says while making coffee.

“I’m gonna say hello and head upstairs.” I say walking out the kitchen. I say hello to everyone in the living room and head upstairs to my room and start to do my math homework. After about an hour I make my downstairs to get myself a snack. I walk into the kitchen and see dad and Jared sitting at the table talking.

“Hey Y/N” Jared said while drinking some of his drink.

“Hey J” I say while grabbing myself an apple and joining them at the table.

“How’s school been?” He asked.

“It’s been fine. Nothings really changed” I say while biting into my apple.

“Got a boyfriend yet?” Jared says while dad gives him a look.

“Hey”dad says while putting a hand on Jared’s shoulders “She’s 16. She doesn’t need a boyfriend.” Then he looks at me. “You don’t have a boyfriend do you?” He asked me.

“No dad, I don’t” I say. What he didn’t know is that I didn’t want a boyfriend or a husband when I got older. I wanted a girlfriend, and a wife. I’ve know this fo a long time. Like when me and my friends would watch TV shows or movies I would always pay more attention towards the actresses.

“Well good. Wait until college or after college.” He says. I give me a smile and tell him I would. It was a way to keep him off my back. I get up from the table and head into the living room where mum and Gen where with the little children. They were watching Frozen and eating popcorn. I make my way over to mum and snuggled into her side. She gives me a kiss on he head and continues o talk to Gen and watch the movie, at some point I’ve fallen asleep.

When I woke up I was in my bed and it was light outside. I look at my bedside table and saw it was 6am. I get out of bed and make my way downstairs and find mum and dad in the kitchen cooking breakfast, JJ and the twins where in the living rom watching cartoons.

“Morning sweetie, did you sleep ok?” mum said while cracking some eggs into a bowl to whisk them together.

“Morning mum, dad.” I say while sitting at the table and yawning.

“Oh, is it still ok for me to go to Jessica’s party tonight?” I’m ask to the room. Mum and dad both agreed so when I finished my breakfast, I sat with my family in the living room for a few hours before heading upstairs and texting my group asking if they were going to go. We all were. We decided that I was going to head over to Alexandra to get ready with her and Hannah since she lived closer to where the party was being held. Jessica used to go to out school before she transferred when she moved last year but everyone still loved her.

Around 9pm we arrive at the party. We head to the kitchen to get ourself some drinks. By 12am I was drunk. I wasn’t really sure what was going on, all I knew was that I was with Hannah and Alexandra in the car and was heading back home. They pull up to my house I grab my bag and head inside. I quietly enter the house and close the door and went upstairs to my bed. I had a good night, but what I didn’t know was that my life was going to change when I woke up the next morning.

My head was pounding like crazy. I slowly open my eyes and immediately shut them when I come contact with light from my windows. Yes, I was definitely hungover. It wasn’t the first time it had happened but never this bad. After about 20 minutes I was finally awake enough to head downstairs. It was 10am. I left my phone by my bed. When I reached downstairs I saw JJ, the twins and their three little Padalecki’s in the living room while mum and dad and Jared and Gen where in the kitchen talking with a laptop in front of them. When I enter the kitchen they all look at me. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and turn around and looked at them.

“Why you all staring at me like that?”I asked confusedly while opening my bottle of water.

My dad looked at me and asked my to take a seat. I sit down and now I’m starting to get a little worried.

“When we woke up this morning there was an article wrote about you. It looked like someone took some photos of you at the party you went to last night.” Dad said while looking at me sweetly.

“Ok. That’s not bad. Is it.” I ask nervously.

Mum turned the laptop around and I could hear my heart break. The headline was the first thing I saw ‘Y/N Ackles seen kissing a mystery girl’. No, no no no no no. Fuck no. I start to scroll down and I see a photo of me kissing a girl. Tears start to build in my eyes. Why was this happening, for the past 3 years I’ve kept this hidden inside me. I look at up and a single tear runs down my face. I didn’t know what to do, they were all staring at me. 

I got up from the table and ran up to my room ignoring the calls for me to come back. I enter my rom and lock the door and crawl into my bed. My phone was blowing up with missed calls and texts from my friends asking if I was ok and I just broke down crying.

I could hear my dad and mum, outside my room knocking asking for me to let them in. I couldn’t move. I stayed in my room all day.

When I woke up the next morning I woke and immediately hated the day. It’s Monday. School is in 2 hours. I head to my ensuite took a shower then go dressed, did my hair and makeup and went downstairs. When I enter the kitchen I see mum and dad and JJ eating breakfast. When they saw me dad looked me in the eyes. We hadn’t talked since they read the article. “Would you like a waffle sweetie?” He asks I just nod.

I seat down at the table not talking. I know I need to say something I should just tell them they already know. Dad placed my waffle in front of me and sat back down next to mum.

“I want to talk to guys about something.” I say. They both look at me, JJ was bus eating her waffles. “Well… I… I.. I like girls. And I don’t want you guys to think anything different. I’m still me.”

Mum jumped “of course you are sweetie” she said. “It’s ok hunny.” I give them both a small smile. “I loved you”

“We love you too” dad said. “Come here” he put his arms out. I get out my chair and walk over to him. He gives me a big hug and kissed my forehead. Then mum comes from behind me and joins the hug.

2 weeks later. Everything was great. I’m not sure why I was so worried in the first place. Nothing has really changed in my life except everyone knows my little secret, my family and friends still loved me everything was ok. I’m not sure why I was so scared too begin with. I’m was now myself. Who cares, the heart wants what it wants.

[idio-cies]

Right, I need to go on a rant because lockdown is still getting to me and I am fed up with the same comments I hear every time I allude to my sexuality (mostly ace) towards my family.

So story time: today my Nana was showing my mum about princess Gertrude or something being married in an old Ball gown of the Queen's and how it was altered a bit and as an a fly away comment of me being pedantic I said "having a wedding dress is over-rated anyway" to which my mum gave a mock shocked face saying that of course I would say something like that (My family joke about me being cold-hearted as I don't cry at sad films or books, and can just lack empathy to certain things). So I laughed to continue the joke but what I intended was that you know why a dress? Women can be married in suits or two-pieces if they wish? Like what's the fuss. Oh hell, the men could wear flounces! Also upcycling yay for the environment! So I continued, starting to say the colour, my mum saying about how my older sister will be in Ivory and I said "Come on, that's off white! But I mean Chinese get married in red" and she continued "in India they get married in all sorts of colours" and I said "exactly! Why white?" And she said before I could continue "I suppose you would get married in black" so I scrunched up my face and said "if I ever get married" and then came the usual "you might not say that as you get older" you know. That golden nugget of a line that is told to many people who are aro/ace or whatever the identify as. Some people just do not wish to be married. I also said "whats the point in having a dress you only wear once, anyway" which, as I expected was returned with "you could pass it on to your children". My mum continued saying how her best friend used to think like me and now is married and has had two children, then she left to go do something. My Nana then joined in saying how I don't want to not give my mum grandkids, to which I shrugged, she continued saying how what if my husband didn't wanted kids what would I do then? This is when I started to get mad but with this situation I always try and brush everything over considering I know from experience how things will go (will get brushed with the aforementioned comments, stereotypes etc). So I shrugged and said "well then it wasn't meant to be" in my head I was thinking what if I don't want a husband, what if I have a wife, or a partner who identifies as non-binary or genderfluid? What if I just never marry, or just live the rest of my life with my friends? What if, if I do change my mind about kids, I adopt. But I couldn't say that. My nana continued by saying "well, I guess you wouldn't marry if that was the case" and I'm just sat there stewing.

See, my problem here is that my parents certainly are more liberal, and the reason why I make jokes that allude to me being ace is because they have also made jokes about saying how they probably will never have grand kids, or that I don't go for that sort of thing and I had hope. My sister is a lesbian and they knew for ages and still love her and want the best for her, but my mum never understood why my sister was so hesitant to come out and I explained to her how people coming out always have that fear, that even if their parents or their friends are liberal, they still may not be fully accepted for who they are. Plus, my sister has had bad experiences with friends being homophobic or use her in the face of her coming out, but my mum took this explanation as me hiding something about myself.

When I had my first boyfriend a year ago my mum thought the perfect time to bring up sex would be as she placed food in front of me. I legit choked on my food and as she continued I had to tell her right there and then that I believed myself to be ace and she had nothing to worry about and she didn't understand, so I had to explain. This was the first proper time I heard her deflect that "I might change my mind". When I stayed overnight at his, my dad was teasing me asking whether I needed rubbers and kept on asking me. The thing is, it was always jokey but I'm pretty sure he was concerned. Then my sister thought more happened between him and I when he broke up with me, indicating that we probably had sex, because of how upset I was over it all. I'm pretty sure a couple of my friends thought that too. However, one of my friends said what I was thinking which was that part of the reason why he broke up with me was because I wouldn't have sex with him which was the case considering when I told him that my dad joked about getting rubbers he asked me if I did all excited and I said no with a confused expression like "we've been over this, I thought you understood" and he looked away disheartened with an "oh" thats when I think I knew this wasn't right. To be fair I should've known about "oh, so you're a celibate" and loads of other things like believing I liked something when I didn't or I wasn't sure so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ I was young and it was my first boyfriend so you know, I was naive. The reason why I was so broken-hearted was because I'm pretty sure it was because I was ace, and because of that I felt like I would never be loved, or respected. What's more is he tried to take advantage of my friend when they were together whilst she was drunk! So he is just a huge dickhead anyway.

Anyways, I guess for my grandparents to understand is trickier and as far as I'm aware they don't know that I said to my mum who probs told my dad that I'm ace. I always get told that they won't change. My grandad I think still believes my sister isn't fully gay by the fact that he refuses to say "girlfriend" and also slander her girlfriend a bit, and he never believed she showed signs, though why should that matter if she "showed signs"? And my Nana said she did and is a little more accepting of my sister's girlfriend (btw, this is not my older sister who is getting married). I hate being told that people who are older (especially my grandparents) won't change their minds or see things differently. I don't understand how people can go through life like that? But I guess that's because I'm a more open-minded person who makes sure I have several perspectives on certain things.

The thing now though is that I'm scared that I'm under the category of ace where the stereotype is that I'm a robot because I lack empathy and am cold-hearted and such. I know that for my Nana and also for my Nanny that they ended up abandoning their careers for the sake of raising a family and for me, that just feels like an epic loss. I also think that my grandparents first impression of my mum was not approving as she had a baby when she was 20 out of wedlock and had an abusive partner.

After this spiel, if you are still with me, I just want to let you know that this is life is complicated. Heck, I even queried about my best friend being ace, but I think that is because I never thought someone so close to me could have the same feelings about that topic and also because I am constantly questioning myself, probably because I have had "oh, you may change your mind when you're older" most of my life. Oh, I know I could, but for what feels my entire life (when I gained consciousness of myself and was making choices for myself without having this stereotyped life conditioned in my brain) was that I never personally want to have kids. Ever. I understand I may change my mind and if I do I will adopt because I would like to think that I could make a child's life better, and also we have a dense enough population as it is. I do not care if I have a partner with me in my life. I can quite easily get by independently in life. I'm not adverse to having a partner, whoever/whenever/and whatever status it may be.

What I find hilarious though is that I'm very nonchalant about my sexuality, but I do not wish to tell my gay sister that I am queer on some scale. She has had too many run-ins of me slipping to say that I'm not straight or my friend legit said a joke about how my hair is as straight as me (it's curly) because I have made that joke around her before about myself. TERRIFIED. She has jokingly confronted me about it as well and I remained nonchalant as I always do.

So I guess what I'm trying to say that even though people can be liberal in mind, it is always tricky to tell your family and (after stereotypes and assumptions have been placed on me) friends. I have even had a friend who told me that basically I wasn't ace sinply because I didn't know how to answer him in something related to do with sex. I AM ALMOST 19, I DO NOT HAVE MY LIFE FIGURED OUT. I AM STILL QUESTIONING MY OWN EXISTENCE LET ALONE MY SEXUALITY/ORIENTATION.

I would love to go through my life with no labels whatsoever. Whether I'm female, that I'm ace, or that I'm most likely pan. I've always been weird with labels. I simply do not care about that, but I also care about it too much. I do not want societal pressure to tell me that I need a partner in my life, that I need to have children in order to be happy and be worth something. That is not what makes a life. I want people to understand this, especially my family, but I'm afraid they won't even if they are aware that they know it's not for all people. The life I want is to be with the people I love and I can trust and engage with. That I am successful and can stand up for who and what I believe in. So this is my message to people out there. Take all the time in the world to discover who you are. Whether you prefer labels for it or not. To not let societal pressure get to you too much. I know it's hard and the nature of the world and its people are complex, but please be true to yourself and I'm sure you will find your people and your way in life.

[writing-wolf]

I did it; I watched and read After by Anna Todd

Alright, I’m going on a rant, kinda. 

I’m very single, very touch-starved and quarantine makes me pick up on my guilty pleasures: reading/watching crappy romance. So far I’ve read like 4 bad romance books besides the After series, and I’m thriving. We love a cheesy, cliché romance at 2 am, yes we do. 

I read the whole series before watching the movie, and I’m kinda glad I did. The movie was, surprisingly, somewhat better than the books and I’ll tell you why. 

The books were pretty much garbage. Like, I’m not talking about the garbage that romance books made for young adult women with a fantasy usually are (although I secretly kinda like em), I’m talking Wattpad Y/N garbage. I know that’s to be expected because it is a Harry Styles fanfic, buuut a part of me hoped that with it being published as a real book, the ignorant, horrible parts would be cut out. Yeah, nope. 

Spoiler Alert: I’m going to discuss the story under the cut.

First book was kinda bad, pretty dramatic, but like, it was your kind of mindless ‘bad boy’ story. Red flags were starting to show in the relationship (they keep fighting, Hardin’s pretty much a horrible jealous jerk when he’s drunk, and kind of when he’s sober tbh), which kind of made me a bit unhappy. You can’t start off an entire series when it already seems like the main couple is toxic as all hell. The cute parts get overshadowed by the fighting and lies, secrets, violence, double standards, etc. The bet was disgusting and I just couldn’t get behind Hardin. 

At this point, I’m kind of invested in the story though, and I want to see how the hell Hardin’s going to get back with Tessa (because of course they get back together) after this virginity bet, and I read After We Collided. It’s starts off with this Zed guy, and we see the whole aftermath of the bet, with Tessa swearing she’s over it before seamlessly transitioning back into this ‘non-relationship but actually pretty much a relationship’ (this will be an ongoing theme in the next books) when Hardin’s mum shows up. They get back together over a bracelet and some other stuff. Blah blah, book’s kind of forgettable at this point. Hardin’s a selfish dick who doesn’t want to marry, have kids or move to Seattle with his girlfriend, whilst she’s just doing really hurtful things to spite him and hanging out with a couple of random dudes. Somehow she catches feelings (only a lil, because we know she only loves Hardin) for Zed, which is incredibly illogical. But the latest thing we can hope for is character development. The cute moments are actually cute, and they give me feels, but then 5 pages later they’re fighting again, so idk why I even bother. At the end of the book, somehow Hardin gets a tattoo for Tessa, and they meet her estranged, alcoholic dad. Cliffhanger....I guess?

After We Fell is the longest book in the series and OH MY DAYS, IT’S HOT GARBAGE. I couldn’t wait for this book to be over. There’s Hardin asking her to marry him so she doesn’t go to Seattle (he’s drunk, surprise?). Well, shit gets weird, because Hardin, Tessa and Hardin’s family go to Seattle for the weekend or smth. There’s a lesbian couple that has to represent Hardin and Tessa, but better, and that was decently well-done. They have sex, she drinks underage again, he tried to get sober but fails because every time they break up it’s the same story: he drinks and trashes the place, she cries and hates his arse, vows to stay away, they get back together and he promises to do better. And then it starts again. Dysfunctional as shit, basically. There’s huge signs of a toxic, unhealthy, possessive relationship between both of them. 

Hardin sabotages Tessa’s move to Seattle, she looks through his phone (something she’s done before). For the first time though, I end up disliking Hardin a little less than Tessa, because I kind of understand his point? The whole dysfunctional family thing did a part on him, and I get it. She’s also pretty toxic, pointing out his insecurities and being self-centred and wants him to change so badly. I just. By the end of this book, I maybe want them to end up together? Not really, because they’re almost (or maybe even actually) emotionally abusive to each other. But when they get their shit together, I’d like them to have a good, romance novel fuelled love story. Anyways, it was shit.

Last one, After Ever Happy (I didn’t read Before because I was tired of this shit and I don’t massively care). Starts off with this whole thing at Hardin’s mum’s wedding and whatever. He ends up leaving her and stays in London so she can return to Washington alone and he can get high with his ‘delinquent’ buddies from back in the day. She finds her father, overdosed, in their old apartment and that’s what it takes for him to come back to her. I know. Horseshit and I still hate them. He somehow tries to fix all of this, Zed’s a manipulative asshole, Hardin asks her to marry him but Tessa’s depressed, grieving and really not ready to get back into this tumultuous relationship (and honey, I really don’t blame you). I ended up liking this book the most because it felt human. It felt like Tessa was finally growing up and making choices that wouldn’t restart the fucking cycle again. She still drank too much, but I like the change when she left for NY. At that point, I could say I liked the story. Hardin changed a lot and became a capable man/boyfriend. They end up not dating until years later, and I have to say, good for them. Neither of them were ready for a relationship, so I think it was nice that they got the time apart to live first. Epilogue was wayy too rushes and kind of meh, but I was glad it was over. 

The reason I liked the movie was because it was mindless romance and not despite, but because it was so different from the book. Not nearly as toxic and just a lot more calm. Sure, it wasn’t amazing cinema, but it was cute, and the actors weren’t that bad. The main couple looked mad cute together too. The bet got changed and you could see that Anna Todd had made decisions in her book that she probably regretted and tried to rectify. And it was decent. I’m glad Hardin isn’t as horrible, and I’m glad that it seems like they’re in a relationship I could root for, however bad it started. Because that’s romance. Encouraging the audience to love the couple is so important, and the books just forgot about that imo. I still don’t love the series, but I’d be lying if I wouldn’t watch the rest. As a break from good, meaningful cinema and literature, the movies will do just fine. 

[thepersephonecabin]

Questions of Faith (fic)

Short daisy/basira fic about daisy stepping in when some Islamophobes in the station have something to say to basira.

Just as a heads up, I’m not a Muslim, so I’d love input from Muslims about Basira’s characterization and how Islamophobia is dealt with in this fic!

Check out full list of warnings and notes on AO3

The Hunt was the only religion Daisy had ever known, even before she’d known it had a name.

But that didn’t mean she had never had a crisis of faith.

Being a gay cop, even after the Thatcher era, was never easy. Turns out, that even if you did replace the bastards who led the witchhunts and raids on gay bars and BDSM clubs back in the day, it didn’t erase centuries of systemic oppression, no matter how hard you tried.

Believe it or not, Daisy first joined the force for that exact reason. To take out the trash.

She’d gotten the idea in the late 90s. She was sixteen at the time, and had snuck into a local gay bar with a fake ID. It was her first interaction with the gay community, the first time she’d tasted beer. She was so naive back then, a baby butch with a fresh boycut and leather jacket she wasn’t allowed to wear with her school uniform. Not that that had ever stopped her. In truth, she was rather proud of herself when the school’s nuns ripped her a new one for donning it over her green plaid skirt and white blouse, even if the traditional sweater was cozier.

 She’d always been a bit of an agitator, just like her Dad, a staunch Welsh nationalist. So she did the things most “bad” kids did. Listened to loud music, snuck smokes outside the school gates, kissed girls she shouldn’t. Mum and Dad didn’t like that last one one bit.

 But she did it anyway. Really, going to the bar was just the next phase of her teenage rebellion. She was pretty excited about it, too. At least until the butch bartender caught onto the fact that she was underage. That bartender was about halfway through manhandling her out the door saying, “Look, kid, it's nothing personal. It's just sometimes things go down in places like this that a kid shouldn't be here to se-"

 Daisy was about to tell her to take a goddamn hike and that she'd seen plenty of things no one her age should've seen anyhow, thank you very much, when a whole squadron of police officers burst in and chaos erupted.

 Long story short, an hour later, Daisy was sitting in the police station wearing a pair of handcuffs surrounded by a dozen or so drag queens and kings, men in leather, and assorted other characters from the club- the bartender, a young lesbian couple barely older than her who looked scared shitless, leaning on each other for support as much as their restraints would allow. The police were responding to an “anonymous tip” about a drug deal in progress, but from the looks on the faces of the others who were taken to the station with her, it seemed that this an excuse they’d heard many times over.

 They were booked one by one, but it seemed that she was the only one shepherded into the captain’s office after fingerprinting.

 The chief- Reynolds, collar number PC2729 according to his uniform and badge- was a white man with grey hair and facial hair that was still a tad brown in some places. He had smile lines and crow’s feet, and for some reason that made her angrier than anything else did.

 He gave her a smile as she was pushed into the room and onto a cold, metal chair in front of Reynolds’ desk. Daisy sneered at the officer that had brought her in, pulling her arm from the woman’s iron grip with a little more force than necessary simply for the sake of being contrarian. Reynolds’ smile widened.

 As the door shut behind the female officer, leaving Daisy alone with Officer Reynolds, the man cleared his throat and said, “Alice Tonner, sixteen years old, no priors. Booked on possession of a false driver’s license, underage alcohol consumption, resisting arrest, and assaulting an officer. Normally, for someone your age, a first-time offender, I would simply confiscate that fake ID, call your parents, and let them handle it.”

 “But?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

 “But, assaulting an officer is a very serious charge, Alice. According to the briefing my officers gave me, you struck one officer in the face, elbowed and kicked several others until you were tackled. It makes me wonder if this is truly your first time getting into things you shouldn’t, or if you are simply a repeat offender who hasn’t been caught until now,” Reynolds said.

 “Don’t see how it’s your business anyhow,” she challenged. “Maybe I have done something like this before and maybe I haven’t. If your subordinates can’t do their jobs and stop crime, that sounds like your problem, not mine. And if your subordinates didn’t assault innocent civilians in that club first, I don’t think that I would have had to defend myself against them.”

 “When criminals pose a significant threat, it is sometimes necessary to use appropriate force to subdue them,” Reynolds said calmly, and still smiling. “It’s simply every officer’s duty to enforce the law.”

 “Sure,” Daisy laughed, shifting forward in her chair. “Enforcing a tip from an ‘anonymous do-gooder?’ I don’t think so. Dispatch records and calls to the authorities are public record, after all. Charge me if you want, but the first thing I’m doing if you do is calling my father’s attorney and submitting a FOI request. Do you really want to pretend that I’ll find a call from some worried mum that would justify- what did you call it? Appropriate force?” Maybe having a nationalist parent wasn’t so bad after all. At least it taught her her rights.

 Reynolds wasn’t smiling now. “How does a nice little girl like you get wrapped up in a place like that anyway? If you’re so concerned with the quality of policing in your-” he made a face, “      community    , maybe you should try our jobs and see just how easy it is, Alice.”

 Daisy saw red. “My name is Daisy, actually, and if you knew anything about me at all, you’d know this little girl isn’t so nice,” she snarled. “Thanks for the tip, 2729. Maybe I will try your job, and maybe when I do I’ll come for criminals in higher places. Like this office, for instance.” She took a minute to appraise the room exaggeratedly. “Nice trophies.”

 Officer Reynolds stared her down for a moment. Daisy didn’t know what he saw, but whatever it was, the next thing he did was call the female officer back in and say, “Officer Nicholson? Take Miss Tonner up front and telephone her parents to pick her up. She’s free to go.”

 Officer Nicholson wasn’t exactly pleased with the decision to let someone who had struck several of her fellow officers only an hour ago free without even being formally charged, but in the end it wasn’t her call. Daisy was released to her parents with nothing more than a slap on the wrist and a stern warning noted in her permanent record. All things considered, if mouthing off was all it took to get out of an arrest, it made a little more sense now why Calvin Benchley had gotten away with everything for so long.

 Two years later when she appeared for her police academy interview, and the officer in charge asked why she wanted to be an officer, she remembered Reynolds, and his too-wide smile and his crow’s feet. She was coming for him. Maybe not even him, maybe just the very idea of him.

 At first, it was tough. The other officers made no secret as to how they felt about a dyke like her in their ranks, but Daisy was more ruthless than any of them could hope to be. She closed more cases, by any means necessary and left those impotent, rent-a-cop, busybodies in her dust. When she got sectioned, it almost seemed like the natural next step for a person like her, but now she had scarier suspects to go after.

 Years passed, vampires burned, and Daisy never really considered that along the way she might have started to become the same type of monster she joined up to stop. By the time a new officer fell into her precinct, the homophobic pricks that had fueled her for so long were afraid of her. They were at least smart enough to keep their slurs to the locker room. Whenever she did catch wind of them running their mouths, she made sure to give them a scare, and she reveled in the way they fled with their tails between their legs. Or she did, at least for a little while, but soon, it felt like it wasn’t enough. It was getting boring.

 The new officer, Basira Hussain, was a new sort of breed, she thought. They didn’t know each other well at first, since at first, Basira wasn’t sectioned like her, but Daisy liked Basira. She liked the way her name rolled off her tongue-      Ba-si-ra    , she would whisper to herself in the comfortable isolation of her own darkened rooms at night, just to taste the shape of the syllables. But most of all, Daisy was surprised to find that she liked the way Basira wasn’t afraid of her. It was refreshing, she thought, to finally have someone around with a backbone.

 When she wasn’t tracking, interrogating, or disposing of suspects, Daisy dedicated her time at the office to dissecting Basira’s movements and habits. It gave her an excuse to ignore the paperwork.

 Unlike her, Basira likes paperwork. Once when Basira was happily depositing reports in the proper outbox, she caught Daisy staring and demanded in a teasing voice, “What? Unlike you, some of us actually complete our reports, and even enjoy getting work done. Shocking for you, I’m sure.”

     She’s been watching me, too    , Daisy thought with a delightful thrill. Daisy plastered on a playful smirk, and stretched her arms over her head, catlike and languid. “What’s that old saying? Something about working hard or hardly working?”

 Basira rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth quirked up. “Mock me if you want, Tonner, but I don’t mind the tedium of it. It feels nice, to be able to mindlessly do a task and check it off your to-do list.”

     How adorable    , Daisy thought.      How positively quaint.    “I suppose I can understand that. But if you ask me, desk duty’s a waste of your talents. Also, you can call me Daisy.”

 Basira raised one perfect eyebrow at her, “And what talents are those,      Daisy    ?”

 Daisy shrugged noncommittally, hoping it wasn’t entirely too obvious how something deep inside her purred at Basira saying her name like that. “Well, you don’t seem to mind me being around, so I assume that means you’ve got balls. Someone like that should be out there,” she jerked her chin at the window, “handling the real police work. Not stuck inside.”

 “Filing reports is just as important to our job as handcuffing people,” Basira retorted. “Otherwise, how would we account for everything, and make sure we’re not taking advantage of our authority.”

 “And do you think everyone is truthful on those reports?” Daisy asked, leaning forward on her elbows, the way she did in interrogation rooms.

 Basira was silent for a long time, appraising her, and finally she said, “You’re strange, Daisy Tonner.”

 Daisy wasn’t sure she knew what that meant, but she categorized it as a win and moved on.

 After that, Daisy and Basira were a bit closer, trading playful conversation whenever Daisy was actually in the office. It was strange, how Daisy was usually itching to go out on assignment, always ready for a stakeout, but now, she actually missed the opportunity to sit at her desk across from Basira for a while.

 One day, she came into the office to find Basira crouched behind Daisy’s desk, facing the wall. She was rolling out what looked like a small rug, and tensed when she realized Daisy was standing there, watching.

 “Sorry,” Basira blushed. “I just need a place to pray. I usually do it here since the position is right and you’re usually out. I can find somewhere else, if you like.”

 Daisy blinked, feeling dumbfounded, “No, no, it’s fine. Carry on. I’ll be quiet.”

 As she slid into her chair, and heard Basira shifting, and then begin muttering to herself softly carrying a quiet harmony, Daisy pondered this.

 Daisy had never really spent much extended time around Muslims before Basira. She knew Islam was the second most common religion in Wales, but her community had been predominantly Christian. In London, of course, things were a lot more multicultural, with a high population of immigrants and asylum-seekers. But still, she’d never found herself thinking that much about it.

 Suddenly, she felt overwhelmed by how much she really didn’t know about Islam, and she was a bit discomfited by it. She didn’t like feeling like she was fumbling around something, and she liked the knowledge that she’d spent a few months sitting across from Basira without giving any thought to her culture even less. Now she was sitting on her desk flipping through a folder and not taking in any of the information, just to stop herself from Googling stupidly obvious questions about Islam while Basira was right behind her.

 Unluckily, she didn’t have much time to stew in this, because some of the other officers, Shadley and Packwell, her mind helpfully supplied, began stalking toward them with intent.

 Daisy looked up from the file, brows furrowed, glare on, but Shadley and Packwell didn’t notice her at all, their gaze was decidedly fixed on Basira. A quick glance told Daisy that Basira was tuned out, still in the motions of raising and lowering her body to the ground in prayer. Daisy whipped an arm out, and moved to stand, to prevent the other officers from interfering, but she was a second too late, and Shadley pushed right by to stand inches behind Basira.

 “Hussain, get back to work,” he ordered loudly. The whole room had to have heard him, but horrified, Daisy looked around, and everyone- every single person but her- was ignoring it, steadfastly going about their business with their heads down.

 Basira’s brows furrowed, but otherwise, she made no sign of having heard Shadley. Clearly, she was used to this.

 “Did you hear me, officer? Someone’s got to go over these traffic reports.”

 “Step off, Shadley,” Daisy growled, fists clenched. “She isn’t bothering anyone. Go do your own damn reports.”

 “She’s bothering me,” Shadley retorted.

 “And me,” Packwell pitched in.

 “I’m warning you,” Daisy told them, doing her best to shoulder her way between them and Basira. “Walk away.”

 “Or what, Daisy dyke?” Packwell asked. “Got yourself a little girlfriend?”

 Daisy ignored that. This wasn’t about her. It was about keeping Basira safe.

 But then quick as a flash, when her eyes were on Packwell, Shadley reached down, put his hand on the headscarf Basira wore, and      yanked    .

 Red flooded Daisy’s vision, and distantly she heard Basira make a surprised, pained grunt. Daisy’s body was on autopilot as one hand reached over, grabbed her leather jacket off her seat and tossed it at Basira, and her leg kicked out and smashed into Shadley’s shin hard.

 Shadley howled with pain, but Daisy didn’t give him time to recover. She wrapped her hands around his collar and threw him up against a file cabinet with an audible bang. A dispatcher manual toppled from the top of the cabinet from the impact, but Daisy didn’t hear it over the almost inhuman growl that ripped through her throat.

 “Don’t fucking touch her,” Daisy snarled, putting her nose right up to his, “or the next time I swear to everything, I’ll rip you limb from limb, do you hear me? Do you hear me?”

 Shadley whimpered, pathetic, and nodded. He was shaking. She liked that.

 “I don’t want either of you to say a word to her unless it’s specifically related to a case. If I catch you so much as looking at her with ill-intent, you’ll regret it. Now get out of my fucking sight.”

 She pushed him with all her might at Packwell so that they collided and toppled to the floor messily. They both scrambled to their feet and got away as fast as they could. The other people in the room hastened to look away, pretending as if nothing happened once again.

 Daisy was still seething, sneering at the place Packwell and Shadley had vacated. She wanted to hit something, she wanted to      kill    something.

 Then, as suddenly as they came, the thoughts dissipated as she felt a gentle but firm hand on her shoulder, and heard Basira say, “Daisy.”

 Daisy let the tension in her shoulder release, and foggy through the adrenaline, she turned to look at Basira’s stern face, her hijab readjusted so it looked as if it had never been out of place at all.

 “It’s alright,” Basira said. “I can handle myself.”

 “I…” Daisy began, and then blinked a few times to clear her head. Shame began to creep in. She hadn’t meant to overstep her boundaries. “I know you can, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made such a scene.”

 There was something unreadable in Basira’s eyes, but her mouth twitched, and she said. “It’s alright. It’s good to know you’re looking out for me. But maybe next time, don’t assault another officer in the middle of a police station with everyone watching, yeah?” She pressed Daisy’s leather jacket into her hands. “Thanks for letting me use this, by the way.”

 Daisy was too stunned to make heads or tails of how quickly the mood had shifted, and soon Basira had gathered up her prayer mat, and had returned to her own desk, quick as you please.

 The next day, when it was time for Dhuhr (Daisy had spent some time that night looking up the proper times for prayer throughout the day), Basira gave her a nod as she walked around Daisy’s desk and rolled out her mat. This time, Daisy stood once she was through, and made herself a physical curtain between her desk and the file cabinet, so no one would get through. She idly looked over and ticked boxes on the report she’d been working on before Dhuhr started, but mostly she just stood, feet shoulder width apart so she was ready to protect if anyone tried anything, throwing looks at anyone who passed by.

 When she was finished and had rolled up her mat, Basira asked, “What are you doing now?”

 Daisy tried to sound playful, but also a little submissive as she spoke, wanting to show Basira that she would listen, if Basira told her to stop. “Doing my paperwork as you’ve so frequently recommended, Basira, dear, and stretching my legs of course.”

 “I see,” Basira said, quirking a smile. “And the timing of your leg stretching wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with yesterday, would it?”

 “Of course not,” Daisy said with mock surprise. “Not everything is about you, you know.”

 Basira rolled her eyes and snorted, “Sure, it’s not. Whatever, see you again at afternoon prayer.”

 “Looking forward to it.”

 From then on, during all their time at the Met, whenever it came time for Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib, and oftentimes even Isha, because Basira so frequently worked late, Daisy stood watch, and they never had any incidents like the one with Shadley and Packwell again. Basira often rolled her eyes at Daisy’s “guard dog” nature as she called it, but never objected to it. Daisy knew she was being overprotective, and territorial, but as long as Basira was safe and happy, it didn’t matter.

 No, Daisy Tonner had never known a religion but the Hunt, but she was beginning to think whatever she had with Basira could be one.

[notthefilmreview]

Reacting to THE HALF OF IT TRAILER on Netflix

Hey, it’s Dana!

As you can tell from the title I’m going to watch the trailer to THE HALF OF IT and deliver my thoughts and predictions while going through the trailer.

So read on for more!

https://youtu.be/B-yhF7IScUE (here’s the link to the trailer if you’re interested).

Just from the first bit of the trailer, we can obviously tell that this is going to be one of those nerdy-girl tropes which have been played out many many times before. 

Another main highlight (which is also the main reason why I wanted to review this trailer) is that Ellie is ASIAN! I do love how Netflix has started introducing more diverse main characters in teenage movies like these because it just shows that, yes, we too experience the same romances and struggles just like every other white teen in the universe.

(However, she does fit into the nerdy-Asian-girl trope which is a bit offputting, especially with the stereotypical glasses and all, but I guess it doesn’t matter *that* much).

Squahamish? SQUAHAMISH?

Who would name a town Squahamish, let alone decide to *live* in a town called Squahamish?

Is it even a real place?

Well, it turns out no - but there are many places called Squamish, particularly in Canada.

Okay, kind of unrelated, but the actress who plays Ellie (Leah Lewis) has a lovely talking voice. It’s really calming, almost velvety and caramelly. I actually advise you to go and watch the trailer just to listen to her voice.

Also, I like that in sync eating with her dad because just by looks and mannerisms you can tell that she and her dad seem alike reflecting how close their relationship may be.

However, this does bring up the question: where’s Ellie’s mum? She might either be dead (to be blunt) or her parents are divorced. I’m leaning towards the former more because that’s such a trope to give a character more depth and add in a little emotional scene.

Ooooooo okay, my girl’s an entrepreneur at the age of 17 - you go, girl!

Here it is, our designated love interest to come and swoop nerdy Ellie away *YAWNNNNNNN*

He’s probably going to ask her to write an essay for him and then they’ll fall in love and kiss and break social boundaries and live *happily ever after!*

DisGuSTaNggGg

This is such a beautiful wide shot.

Nevertheless, I can’t help but wonder how far in the countryside is this Squahamish??? Because the town looks quite lonely.

Only 10???? Ummmm...Ellie, honey, essays take *effort* and if you’re doing multiple different essays at once then I would definitely charge A LOT more. Seriously, I can barely do my own essays so I don’t know how she’s getting through her own work and all those other essays from other people. 

I am wondering if Ellie might get caught by the school for helping other people to cheat because she obviously has written about the same essay topic multiple times for different people and thinking about good points are hard to come up with. There are also other factors like the tone of voice while writing because certain people write in a certain type of way.

Also, this is a teen movie so there should be some aspect of a “moral to the story” and Netflix can’t promote cheating so Ellie may get caught during the climax of the movie.

So here it is, the guy wants Ellie to write this letter to Aster and then he and Ellie are going to fall in love in the process. GENERIC!

But, on a side note, Aster is very pretty so if she’s available at the end of the movie I’m available too so...

HIT ME UP, GIRL?

I hope they don’t make Aster a bitch but I know that if they go through with the generic storyline of the guy realising he wants Ellie instead of Aster then they need to make her unlikable.

I mean, who names their child Aster Flores???? 

Wait -

WAIT!

Is that a...meet-cute? Between Aster and Ellie? Are they going to fall in love? Is Ellie going to be gay? Are we getting a gay Asian?

Omgomgomgomgomgomg - YES!

I really didn’t want this movie to be generic and it looked as though it was going through that path but 44 seconds into the trailer and this movie is *definitely* anything but.

So now, after seeing this interaction, my prediction is that Ellie and Aster are going to bond just as Ellie’s friendship with The Guy (who I still don’t know the name of) blossoms so she’ll have that big conflict between helping him out with helping Aster fall in love with him and her own feelings for Aster.

If they actually make this a thing then I will be so happy; omg they just look so cute together.

BUT I do hope they don’t make The Guy the main kind of “villain” of the movie because we do need some solid male-female friendships in movies just to show guys and girls can be purely platonic without it turning into something more.

Okay, now I’m really excited!

Awkwardddddd...

Okay, so what I’m thinking is that Ellie’s love letters are going to help The Guy and Aster go on a date but when they actually go on the date, The Guy realises he has zero in common with Aster and says “hey, Ellie, I think I just liked the idea of dating Aster - but it’s you who she actually really likes and has stuff in common with!” 

Or something like that.

(Basically, I’m just trying to save The Guy’s friendship with Ellie as much as possible because he does look pretty sweet).

(Also, another side note, I love the colours of the film; they just look very simple and pleasing to the eyes).

So I’m thinking that maybe at the end of the movie, Ellie might leave Squahamish to go and explore the world (possibly with The Guy or with Aster, or both!)

Why do all these blonde girls look just a tad bit *too old* to be in High School?

Not to be rude or anything but it’s just a tad offputting to have Leah Lewis look like an ACTUAL 17-year-old and then have these side characters who look like mums they’ve decided to take their daughter to school to meet all her friends.

Seriously, look at that look on Aster’s face - she looks like her 4 mums are strutting into school, holding her hand, and completely embarrassing her!

But back to the review: Aster seems to be a popular girl (and her friends seem to be stereotypical popular bitches). But it seems as though Aster doesn’t like her popularity so she might just ditch her friends to hang out with Ellie and The Guy, then by the end of the movie they become a friendship trio (with Aster and Ellie dating because duh).

The trailer does end up revealing that The Guy finds out Ellie likes Aster (as we were all waiting for).

He does look quite betrayed but at the same time, I think he’s also angry at himself for not actually realising Ellie’s feelings before.

This might come after they become good friends so it looks as though The Guy seems (possibly) willing to give up his crush on Aster for the sake of their friendship (I hope).

Awwwww FRIENDSHIP! 

OMG yes, Netflix! I am proud of you!

This little phrase is kind of changing my thoughts on the end of the movie because I don’t think Ellie would actually go and date Aster right after The Guy tried to date her because - BRO CODE.

So, the movie might just focus on the development of their friendship and then Aster might join them to make them a trio, leading up to the possibility of Ellie and Aster getting together in the future.

Is this making sense???

DisGuSTaNggGg

Well, I don’t think The Guy got the message about bro code...

So this will probably be the height of the conflict where Ellie and The Guy fight over the fact that he knew she likes Aster yet carried on dating her.

This seems like a really cute moment but also a bit dangerous because, like, that’s a *train*. I don’t know about Squahamish but if I decided to walk across the train tracks in the UK, I would get crushed by a train, or (if I don’t die) get arrested or something.

Awwwwww he’s a JOCK!

Jock-nerd friendship goals omg that’s too cute.

Netflix do not mess up this friendship! They are too pure!

So overall I am super excited to watch the movie for the male-female friendship and the lesbian love story.

My initial reaction, as you read above, was that it was just going to be a generic heterosexual love story between this nerdy Asian girl and this white jock. 

HOWEVER (and this is a big however), when I watched the rest of the trailer, the story became anything but generic. The story seems complex, interesting, and really fitting to the lives of teenagers now.

So I urge you all to watch THE HALF OF IT on the 1st May 2020 on Netflix (and I’ll make a reaction post to the movie).

But as for now, keep binging - bye!