#obviously it's a joke.

[jellieland]

Cub is starting to feel like he isn’t a very popular person at the moment.

It’s odd. People give him wary looks, and step back when he steps closer, and politely end conversations with him. But everyone seems very hesitant to actually say anything about whatever it is that’s bothering them so much.

It's true that it is, on occasion, a little difficult to concentrate on what people are saying. His hearing has been a lot sharper recently, especially with the extensions of himself that he’s placed around the server to help spread the skulk. But unfortunately, given how widespread they are now, it has become quite difficult to concentrate on any specific sounds – even, on occasion, those being made right in front of him.

Still, even without any specifics, he’s been starting to get the feeling that he isn’t exactly… welcome, here.

He’d seen False, the other day, in Hermitopia. As far as he can tell, she’s appointed herself as protector of the hermits. He doesn’t think she’s consulted anyone else about this.

Not that he needs any protecting, obviously. Why would he? He can take care of himself.

But that… look that she’d given him. He’d almost turned around, at first, as though she might be looking at someone behind him.

There was no need for that, though. If there was someone behind him, he’d have heard them.

False, though. Back to False.

He’d never seen her look at him like that before. Not even in the worst moments of the Convex.

It was a calculating look. As though every moment, she was considering the best way to strike, and weighing it against the danger of overextending herself. The kind of look you might give an unnervingly powerful mob, perhaps. But one he'd never seen her give to Doc, or to Cleo. The kind of look you give to something other.

“Hey, False!” He called, and smiled.

Her eyes narrowed. “Hey Cub.” Her voice was controlled and level. “What’s up?”

“Oh not much, not much. Just the usual – spread the souls, spread the skulk, you know how it is.” He held out a few skulk catalysts. “Care to join me?”

“I… No. No, I’ve got- other plans, sorry.” She took a step back, but kept her eyes fixed on him. “Why don’t you… go do that, then.”

He shrugged. “Sure. Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I won’t.” It was harsh. Sharp. After a moment, she seemed to realise this. “I mean- fine. I’ll let you know.” It was less a peace offering to a friend than it was a deliberate concession to an enemy. He knows how to tell the difference.

“Good, good. That’s good to know.” Just because she’d decided she didn’t like him anymore for some reason, didn’t mean he had to follow suit.

She watched him from a distance, eyes like ice, until he left.

She watched him like a tightly wound spring, like a coiled snake.

But she did not strike.

So, yeah. That has been a little odd.

He thinks that if it weren’t for his newfound lease on life recently, that incident would have rattled him. So it’s a good job he doesn’t have to worry about that.

It still seemed worth investigating, though, if it made people less willing to embrace the skulk as they should.

So then, there was the incident with Xisuma.

This one, he thinks, was the most confusing of the lot.

There were some more looks – some from Jevin, Oli and Sausage as well – when they fought the withers together.

He was fairly confident that Xisuma wasn’t the biggest fan of the skulk. At least – he had been fairly confident.

But it wasn’t Cub who suggested trying to spread the skulk further in the End with a sweeping edge sword and some endermen.

And even after that, he’s pretty sure Xisuma’s been removing a fair amount of the skulk around Hermitopia.

There had been Impulse, too, unnerved and wary, asking Cub to dispose of parts of himself safely, rather than taking them and doing it himself.

And with all this came a growing… not discomfort. Why would he be uncomfortable? More a curiosity. How, after all, was he supposed to change their minds if he didn’t know their minds?

Joe- Joe was his friend, he had thought. Joe would get it.

And then he did.

It felt a little like missing a step, although to be fair that wasn’t necessarily uncommon in interactions with Joe.

He hinted, and Joe nodded and went along with it and was appropriately impressed.

Later, he was sold back the parts of himself that Joe had unearthed, both of them quite clear about where they had come from, and told that he could do whatever he liked with them as long as they didn’t end up back in Pix’s area.

He shouldn’t be surprised, really. Joe did tend to enjoy seeing where the chaos went. Why would he even want to intervene?

But then there are still sometimes those looks. When Cub is adding more skulk catalysts around Hermitopia, and Joe is quickly ducking in and out of the place because it’s not one hundred percent clear whether he's still an enemy of the state at this point or not.

When they’re doing that.

Sometimes Joe looks at him like he wouldn’t mind it if none of the Hermits told Cub when they left.

Sometimes, when he forgets himself a little, Cub wonders whether any of them would, anymore.

It seems like a double standard. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, he’s sure. He hasn’t found it yet, though.

Why, if he didn’t have the skulk to keep him company, he might even be feeling a little hurt lonely irritated.

It takes Xisuma replacing the entire floor of the tower for him to start to understand.

They say they hate it. Oh they say they hate it. Not out loud to him, most of the time, but they do. But they never get the roots.

They clear it away, and they leave the surface clean and new, or they leave it unrecognizably maimed by the scars they made themselves. Some of them even dig up the catalysts. But none of them get the roots, because Cub is still here, and so it will always come back.

None of them have even tried.

So that can’t hate it that much, can they?

They just don’t want it near them.

Well, he thinks.

Too bad.

He’s not very good at giving up.

[therealslimstrider]

You can call Roxy mom as weird as that shit is. You are not calling me that.

[bewarethecircles]

Neil Gaiman: "in season 2 the fan-favorite angel/demon couple will fall in love, overcome great adversity, and eventually defy heaven and hell to run off together to the stars :)"

Fans: "cool! I can't wait, does Aziraphale confess first or does Crowley?'

Neil, holding Gabriel and Beelzebub figures and making them kiss: "Does who do what now?"

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[corgiteatime]

I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"

[jay-wasstuff]

LA's environmentalist lawyers pulling up to Universal:

Update:

Well then, I guess:

[drulalovescas]

CASTIEL'S LEGACY SHOULD NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

and no I'm not elaborating idc idc

[st-hedge]

I hand in my cv to paint the backgrounds for the 2d Zelda movie

[hellsitegenetics]

Imagine you make a text post and it gets reblogged on this blog and its like "STRING IDENTIFIED. CLOSEST MATCH:" and then it's your full name and a photo of you attached to it

String identified:

ag a a tt t a t gt gg t g a t "TG T. CT ATC:" a t t' a a a t attac t t

Closest match: 308 Negra Aroya Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104

[vjola]

i don’t have any red flags. i have a white flag. i give up

[whomst-the-hell]

when i learned jedi kids r raised communally i suddenly understood the anakin | obi wan conflict so much better omg its only child vs kid with like 8 siblings. obi wan is like anakin ur so fckn stupid (smiles fondly) and anakin is like he thinks im stupid 😡

[egophiliac]

ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU

I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.

like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?

[braxiatel]

I am not here to police anyone’s characterisation, but I will just say I wish more people would acknowledge that Mumbo isn’t just anxious he is also

1. full of violence

2. Autistic

3. homosexual to his very core

[angstydiaz]

sorry to ppl who are normal about their ships but if I'm not tearing my skin off, literally about to bounce off my walls, eating something inedible and getting close to having an aneurysm cause of them i do not care that much. i need dialogue that sends me into oblivion just seeing it typed out lmao. i need to be insane about them sorry