#ok yeah sure fuck it i can deal with the consequences in the morning

[autism-disco]

i got lossed by desmos what the hell

[onboardsorasora]

Writing Prompt

You press your gun against the back of a man walking down an alley “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you and rob your corpse.” He replies “I have no reason that would satisfy you but if you take my life, you must take on my unfinished business. The bucket list is in my pocket.”

this spiraled lol 1700 words

So like Daniel’s been having a tough few years; a downward spiral of his life that lead him to this point. He didn’t want to kill this guy but he’s the only witness to him killing some other guy. A killing that will have disastrous consequences for him if he’s caught. 

So, he kills him and takes the bucket list from his pocket along with any cash he had and a ring with a horseshoe on it. The bucket list only had one item on it ‘tell Max I love him’. 

What the fuck?

Daniel searches the guy’s pockets again because well, that’s vague as fuck? Who is Max? Why is a declaration of love a bucket list item? This all felt very problematic all of a sudden.

He found a small handgun in the guy’s other pocket and that just raised way more questions than answers and well, Daniel’s gotten himself into more fucked up situations before, hasn’t he?

So he disposes of both bodies, continuing his night the way he had intended originally– just with an addition. 

Hes sitting in his flat in the early morning hours looking at the ‘list’.

Tell Max I love him

Who the fuck was Max?

Does it have to be a specific Max? Can he just find the first Max he came across and do the deed? 

Because let’s be real; Daniel knew that the moment he killed the guy he accepted the quest. It was either have a witness or accept a fucking deathbed quest and well….he couldn’t have a witness.

“Some direction would be really helpful.” He muttered into the quiet of his space before throwing the piece of paper on his coffee table and going to sleep. He’ll deal with that later. After he’s checked in and gotten everything else sorted.

It was two days later when he was smoking on his balcony that he felt a tug in his chest. He stumbles out of his flat and down the stairs, the tugging was insistent and he knew this was the fucking quest that he couldn’t stop thinking about. He didn’t even get to put on shoes or whatever. He’s standing at the curb looking around when he hears a chorus of laughs; there were some guys walking down the street jostling each other and clearly having a grand time.

“Max you dickhead.” One said, and the blonde of the group laughed harder.

So that was Max, well best to get this shit over with. 

Daniel stumbled towards the group, trying to ignore how warm and not clean the sidewalk was. Also trying to ignore how he knew he probably looked fairly homeless in his ratty shorts and a stained oversized tee. But again– the quest curse thing didn’t really give him an opportunity.

They’re looking at him weirdly–because of course they are. But Daniel walks confidently up to ‘Max’. He’s cute; bright blue eyes, wide lips, square face. 

“Max?” Daniel asks – just to be sure. The blonde nods, his friends look extra weirded out. Because, of course they do.

“Ok good. Max I—” Daniel stops. Coughs. His eyes narrow and he clears his throat. That was weird.

He tries again. “Max I—” He makes a strangled noise and closes his mouth.

“Are you ok?” Max asked.

Daniel clears his throat again, “yeah, I just…sorry.” He mutters. 

“Max we should go.” One of his friends insist and drags Max away from a stuttering Daniel.

What the fuck was that?

Daniel stumbles back to his home and grabs up the annoying piece of paper and looks at it from all angles like he’s been doing for the past two days. The only words on it remained Tell Max I love him

Well he just fucking tried

He threw himself onto his couch and well what the fuck does he do now?

So he goes about his life, because what else is he supposed to do? And his chest aches sometimes. He eventually realizes that that means Max is nearby. He doesn’t do anything with that information at first; determined to just…ignore the quest. Since it refused his fucking straightforward way of doing things. 

He still works for his boss, Christian, but he’s been trying to like…not. He doesn’t want to kill people for hire anymore– he didn’t in the first place. And then since he killed that quest guy he’d been feeling like maybe he strayed too far, y’know?

So he started taking some classes at the university nearby. It's not much and it's subsidised anyway so he can do it part time or whatever. He dropped out when he was 20. He’s like 28 now so– it's fine.

His chest has been hurting him consistently now, its like a dull ache. Daniel sees him a bunch; Max. with his friends across campus when Daniel’s hustling to his evening class or leaving because he has to meet with Christian.

It's fine.

They end up having a class together, if Max recognises him, he doesn’t let on. Things continue on like that. Daniel’s doing less and less work for Christian, and going to more and more classes. He calls his mom more now because, well– he's been feeling like less of a failure recently.

He also can’t stop thinking about Max. 

Tell Max I love him

Like was he even gonna complete this quest? He’s already tried the once. And he spent a lot of time saying “Max I love you.” in his flat to know he can fucking say the words. He doesn’t even know why the quest stopped him in the fucking first place.

Life fucking goes on.

They get a group project to end the semester and of course he gets paired with Max.

Tell Max I love him

“Uh, hi.” Max is awkward around him, so that means he remembers him. Daniel isn’t sure if that's a good or bad thing yet.

“Hey. Uhm…sorry about– yeah.” Daniel apologises because well, it was weird.

They end up spending a bunch of time together, Daniel is doing even less jobs for Christian because he can’t really get away to kill people when he has to also not fuck up his or Max’s grade. 

And well, he likes spending time with Max. He’s fun. He’s sweet. And they have a blast together, laughing at everything. Daniel sometimes spends time with Max’s friends, the ones who he had to promise he wasn’t homeless or weird.

Its fun when he doesn’t have to cut himself off from people. When he can just….be himself.

So the semester is over and they’re still hanging out. Max comes over sometimes to watch movies and to like get out of the dorms. They hang around and learn more about each other and and. Max is amazing. He’s fucking beautiful and kind and fuck.

Tell Max I love him

So Daniel’s now crushing. Wonders if he should try to complete the quest again. His chest has been hurting him a while now, so much so that he rubs it unconsciously and people ask about it and he says it's fine. Because it's fine.

He doesn’t bother with the quest anymore because he doesn’t know what will happen when he does. Will he still be able to spend time with Max? Will he have to like leave? 

The internet is shit at giving him information on what happens after you complete a quest. It’s like no one is allowed to speak about it. And thats fucking frustrating. 

So that's that. He just….won’t.

They’re hanging out on Daniel’s balcony when

“Hey so. I have this family thing this weekend, could you maybe come with me?” Max is hesitant to ask and Daniel’s never heard him like this really. So he agrees before he even knows anymore information.

The weekend comes and Daniel pries more from Max while theyre on the way; “well, my father. We’re estranged, but he’s been missing for a while and my family wanted to hold like a— how do you say it? A memorial? A vigil? And I don’t want to go alone. The guys don’t really…like get it.”

And Daniel’s blood runs cold.

Tell Max I love him

Well, Fuck.

So they go to the vigil and Daniel sees all these pictures of Max’s dad and its the same witness guy he killed. The fucking bucket list quest guy. Fuck.

He killed Max’s father. 

Tell Max I love him

He turns to Max quickly. He’d been silent the entire evening as people hugged him. Daniel was introduced to Max’s mom, sister, aunt, nephews. He felt sick.

Tell Max I love him

So he pulls Max aside. Like, ready to confess. And Max just— breaks down. Daniel hugs him close and lets him cry on his shoulder. And Max is sobbing and saying how much he misses his dad even though things hadn’t always been good and he’s so happy for Daniel to be here to support him.

And Daniel thinks, well maybe the quest was to literally tell Max that his dad loves him. So he goes to try, then stops because…what’s gonna happen when the quest is over?

He still doesn’t fucking know. 

So he says nothing, just holds Max close and whispers reassurances and supports him.

More time passes and well, Daniel can’t deny the pull he feels to Max. He’s been crushing on him for so long now its just a part of his being now. He loves Max. He knows it. Its fucked up, but the quest brought them together.

He’d completely cut ties with Christian. He’s been going to classes full time now. His parents send him money so he can keep his place. Which is good because Max kinda sorta maybe moved in?

Not officially, but he’s there all the time now and the guys come over to see them and not just Daniel.

They’re laying on the couch together, some show is on. And Max is talking about maybe wanting to get cats in the future. And Daniel is so in love, he’d do whatever Max wants. If he wants cats, fuck it…he can learn to like them. 

Max crawls on top of him, smiling that crinkly smile that Daniel loves so so so much. And…well it just slips out really.

“Max, I love you.”

Max’s face goes slack with shock and Daniel tenses beneath him. But before Max has an opportunity to literally do or say anything. Daniel’s vision whites out.

Daniel wakes up in his bed, his alarm is going off.

“Fuck.” He scrambles out and puts on some clothes, he had a meeting with Christian this morning and he was fucking late. He pulls on some clothes and just goes.

Life goes on. 

[evafhernee]

I present; 99 Castoff Incorrect Quotes. Don’t ask why

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3 (this one))

(67)

Rori: I'm quick at math.

Arianna: Ok, what's 38 times 76?

Rori: 24

Arianna: That wasn't even close.

Rori: But it was quick.

(68)

Vector: Am I in trouble?

Arianna: Take a guess.

Vector: No?

Arianna: Take another guess.

(69)

Frankie: Wow, it sure smells like wrong dog in here!

Vector: Oh buddy…

Frankie, already sobbing: ASK.

(70)

Rori: You can take away my rights, but can you take away my lefts?

(71)

Vector: What scares you guys the most?

Frankie: Werewolves!

Marina: Sharks.

Sage: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.

Sage:

Sage: Arianna.

(72)

Arianna: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.

Frankie: Arianna, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

(73)

Frankie: Oh, hey, I didn't see you come in! You should have come by and said hello!

Arianna: Oh! Yeah, I uh...

Arianna: Didn't want to bother you.

Arianna: Or talk to or listen to or be around you.

(74)

Frankie: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Arianna way.

Vector: Isn't that the wrong way?

Frankie: Yes, but it's faster.

(75)

Arianna: We wouldn't last two minutes without Frankie.

Arianna:

Arianna: Don't tell them I said that.

(76)

Arianna: Why do you hang out with me?

Vector: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Arianna: ...

Arianna: I feel a bit sorry for you.

(77)

Frankie: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Rori: Please, just say fuck.

(78)

Vector, texting Marina: sends a voice message

Marina, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?

Vector: No, don't worry, just listen later. later

Marina: presses play

Vector's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-

(79)

Marina: You need to stop swearing so much.

Arianna: Shut the fuck up.

Marina: Yeah, that's not how you do it.

Arianna: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.

Marina: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.

Arianna: Shit the beep up.

Marina:

Arianna: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

(80)

Frankie: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.

Arianna: Oh don't worry, you'll be fine.

Vector: Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?

Frankie, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

(81)

Arianna: fast-forwards all the way through the movie

Frankie: You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Arianna: I don't have time for their problems.

(82)

Marina: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Arianna?

Arianna: No.

Frankie: I do!

Marina: I know, Frankie.

Frankie: I'm sad.

Marina: I know, Frankie.

(83)

Arianna: When do I get my own gun?

TheStarfishface: I wouldn't trust you with my kid's lightsaber.

(84)

Arianna: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions.

(85)

Arianna: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Squad: Awwww-

Arianna: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Squad: Oh.

(86)

Rori: Ha! What are you gonna do? Stab mе?

Five minutes later

Rori, calling 911: HELP, IVE BEEN STABBED.

(87)

Rori: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Rori: slow-mo walks out of the room

(88)

Frankie: Hey.

Arianna: pissed off You... complete ... ASS, Frankie! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say "hey"?!

(89)

Sage: The dinosaurs didn't rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn't have.

(90)

Rori: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Vector: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can't just say blue because there's more than one blue.

Rori: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

(91)

Rori: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first.

Vector: Rock.

Rori: Paper.

(92)

Frankie: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

Marina: ...What???

(93)

Marina: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Rori: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

(94)

Arianna: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

(95)

Vector: What does "take out" mean?

Frankie: Food.

Marina: Dating.

Arianna: Murder.

Rori: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

(96)

Vector: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

(97)

Rori: on the phone Hey Marina, do you know my blood type?

Marina: Of course, it's B-.

Rori: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

(98)

Frankie: Vector, I'm afraid.

Vector: Just stay close to Arianna.

Frankie: That's why I'm afraid.

(99)

Marina: What did you two do?

Rori:

Arianna:

Marina: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Friday, February 23rd, 2024!

7:55am: I slept for so long and woke up with no alarms this morning :) feels amazing. Still had a huge orange chunk come out of my nose but it's less than before, I just don't know when it will stop lol (I literally had to get up while writing this and do another one). Last night I had to go to sleep unexpectedly early bc I had a milkshake and it made me so bloated omg. I think I'm officially at that age where I really can't just be eating anything 😂 of course I can bc I'm an independent woman 💅 but not without The Consequences. Also I just popped my BC in and I'm ready for my period to stop and also for the stomach issues to stop omg it's been rough out here. It really feels like spring break should be today, but the pros to it being next week are that it's one week closer to the end, I won't be on my period at all, and hopefully it will be warmer!! I'm tired of this cold ass weather!!

I feel good today besides the random brain thoughts that I don't particularly want. I need to figure out how to replace those thoughts with ones I do what. This journaling, as much ranting as it is, definitely helps me I guess regulate my runaway thoughts. I really want to take a post poop nap though those are the best so ttyl lmao.

10:47am: omg I continued to sleep until 9:50am I don't know how to explain to people how much sleep I really feel like I need. Idk it's probably depression but that's literally ok I'm just doing what I can. I still miss him and that's ok too. I don't really miss him I literally miss just having someone to talk to. But he fucked up and it's his loss, not mine. He lost a genuine person, and I lost a liar who cheats and steals money and nothing he does is genuine, it's all fake to get people to like him so he can use their shit for all it's worth. What's crazy is he's so fake he doesn't even care about these cats after he kept saying he misses them oh boohoo me it's like losing two kids, then blocks me so he'll effectively never fucking see them again. He's literally so fake AF. I take pride knowing I'm not a fake ass bitch and I don't lie to people. Doesn't matter if people believe me or not because I know I'm not lying about anything. If you think I'm lying, you just have something else going on in your life that you have to deal with clearly. This image of them getting on the bike together I think will stay with me for a while, I guess visuals are really my downfall. I know I'm the bigger person bc I literally said yeah y'all are cute together before he stopped speaking to me and everything was chill. It was chill because I made it chill. I made this entire friendship what it was and I'm really convinced of it now tbh. I don't like him, I like me and how I act towards him 😂 I like nice people, aka myself lmao.

If everyone likes me except for you.... Sorry I don't think I'm the problem boo 😘 just a matter of time before he does some more stupid shit I'm sure I'll hear about 🙄

Happy Friday!!

1:02pm ate my ramen leftovers and my boss is buying me CFA Cobb salad for work later :') people are awesome ❤️

10:09pm: JFC my feet hurt like hell. I wish I had a guy to rub my feet fr but one day lol. I just realized he didn't block me on sc so I could technically add him back whenever, I wonder if he's waiting for me to do that?? Hmmmm he's such a narcissist it's wild, plus the whole posting at me when I'm technically blocked on ig is actually crazy af. I bet $200 if he adds me back on ig that post will magically be gone or the caption would change. He's so petty and acts like a little bitch. Literally can't relate 💀

11:40pm: finished my law assignment and I'm so tired I think I'll eat my salad leftovers and literally pass out. My eyes are literally burning.

I really just be out here gaslighting tf outta myself. I'm sitting here like wowza I wish I had "guy" to vibe w me after getting done with my hw.... But it's been so long it's funny that I forget, that man in particular would NOT want to chill with me after I'm finished with my hw!! Name literally one time when he ever fucking did that?? Literally he never fucking did. I'm so gaslighting myself into thinking we'd be doing anything rn, he would've pissed me off all night and then would probably be asleep rn. There would not be random drive thru trips bc he's on a lame ass diet and won't stfu about it and there wouldn't be cuddling bc he would've pissed me off the entire afternoon sitting on his ass making fucking messes instead of contributing anything ever to the home we share and it would infuriate me!! That's not attractive 🙄 so yeah gaslighting tf out of myself to think that would be happening 🤣 it's been so long I forget how exhausting that bullshit was!! Don't go back sis you literally hated it!! Wack AF and manipulative tbh.

One day, there will be a man, he will rub my feet when I get off work, even better he'll see the insides of my shoes, know that I'm too busy/ADHD to remember to get insoles, and would surprise me with new insoles for my shoes ❤️ that's what care and love looks like. We will have a cute snack and then probably fuck before bed bc we are both grown and not scared of a little period fr, and he would get me a towel and draw up a shower for me afterwards and I'd come back into the clean bedroom with no dirty shit on the floor and get into my made bed and snuggle with the real love of my life who loves and respects me 🥰 manifesting lol 💕

[lessthanpure]

Evandria and Certak Chapter 3

Fandom: Original Work

Tags: modern royalty, a/b/o dynamics, werewolves, forced marriage

Summary: Full moon and politics.

Notes: There’s werewolf sex in this chapter, so if you don’t like that, it’s between asterisks.

Wordcount: 7366 (so close to a good number [7363], though this one is pretty good)

AO3 Link

Kyle loses track of time. At least until his phone chimes with a calendar alert at 8 AM. He checks it, confused. Fuck, had he forgotten a meeting? He’s not prepared for one, but he’s always been good at bullshitting- his heart drops when he reads the event. Full moon. “Shit!” He’s lucky Skylar is gone, otherwise she probably would have questioned him. He doesn’t want to lie to her. But this…this will be hard. 

Kyle paces at the foot of their bed once he’s dressed. Skylar must have woken up early because she left a note- ‘Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t want to wake you. Text me when you wake up.’

Kyle takes a deep breath and opens his text window. ‘Hey. I’m up, but I have to see my father. Talk soon.’

Kyle pockets his phone and walks away. He secures an audience with his father. 

“Yes, Kyle,” King Rowland asks. 

“I didn’t realize we’d be here this long,” Kyle hedges. 

“We can hardly leave so soon,” King Rowland points out. “It hasn’t been a month yet. It would seem odd.”

Kyle sighs. “I haven’t…spoken to Skylar about this.”

King Rowland hums. “That was foolhardy.”

“I know, but I lost track of time.”

“I see. Well, you’ll have to deal with the consequences of your actions.”

“I know,” Kyle sighs. “May I take my leave?”

“Yes.”

Kyle bows and leaves. He checks his phone, which he had put on silent to talk with his father. Skylar had texted back. ‘No worries! I’m in the informal dining room, having breakfast. Wanna come?’

‘Sure.’

Ray intercepts him when he’s halfway there. “I wonder,” Ray muses. “What will your pretty new bride think about what we are,” he cocks his head. “After all, I doubt you’ve told her,” he smiles dangerously. “Will she run?” Ray leans in and speaks softer. “Will you chase?”

Kyle snarls, the sound ripped from his throat. “What my wife and I do is none of your concern.”

Ray puts his hands in his pockets and strolls away. Kyle feels his wolf way too close under his skin. He rolls his head on his shoulders, tense. 

Kyle walks the rest of the way to the informal dining room. Skylar is facing the door and looks up when he walks in. “Hey,” she smiles at him. 

“Hey,” Kyle says, trying to keep his voice light. He isn’t successful, going by Skylar’s look.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kyle lies. 

“I hope I didn’t wake you up this morning. I couldn’t sleep, so I went to a guest room to watch TV and crash.”

“You didn’t wake me.” Kyle curls his hands over the back of the chair directly across from Skylar. “I have a problem.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

Yeah. By not freaking out when I transform in front of you without warning.

“Skylar, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Anything,” Skylar nods. She puts her plate to the side and gives him her full attention. 

Not this. Kyle steels himself. "Skylar, I-"

"Skylar, there you are," her mother comes into the room. "I've been looking everywhere for you." 

"What's wrong, mom," she asks. 

"Oh, it's nothing. I don't want to intrude on you and your husband," she says, glancing at Kyle. 

"Kyle, could you hold that thought for a bit," Skylar turns to him. He nods, at once both relieved and more nervous. 

Skylar walks away with her mother. 

Kyle paces in their room. He hasn't seen Skylar all day. It's almost dusk. 

She comes into their room, leaning against the door and exhaling. "Sorry," Skylar says. "I didn't realize it would take so long. Just taking care of some estate things," she waves her hand in the air. 

"Skylar," Kyle says, fists clenched hard.

"What's wrong," Skylar asks, approaching him. He takes a step back. "Kyle, what's wrong," she asks, getting worried. 

"I should have told you this a long time ago," Kyle says. "Skylar, I-"

The sun sets. Kyle shudders and falls onto his knees. "Kyle!"

"No, stay back," he cries out, then falls onto his hands, forehead pressed to the floor. 

Skylar doesn't listen. She kneels next to him, touching his shoulder. Kyle's head snaps up, smelling his Omega so close. He pants. "Kyle, are you sick? I can get a doctor," she soothes him. But her voice is full of fear and Kyle can smell it in the air. 

Kyle shakes his head. "No, this is what I was trying to tell you," he forces past the shift. But it's too late. He wrenches away from her and runs to a corner, curling up in it. 

“Kyle, tell me what’s happening,” Skylar pleads, following him. He can’t think anymore, not the way he has to to talk. He’s shifting too quickly to even undress, and Skylar’s eyes grow wide and she stumbles back from him. Soon, he’s at his full height, staring at her. She gulps. 

Kyle growls quietly, stalking forward. The Omega’s eyes dart to the door, and he gets between her and it. She walks backwards slowly, hands extended. “Kyle, it’s me,” she tries. He growls again and she turns and sprints for the bathroom. He chases and easily catches her, grabbing her by the arms and whirling her around to face him. He bends to her height, eyes now level with hers. Her heart is rabbit-quick, and he wants to find where her pulse is the strongest, press his tongue against it, feel her heart beat against him. “Kyle,” she tries again. He leans forward, smelling her. She smells good. She smells like his. Scared, yes, but nothing a good knot won’t fix. 

He presses his nose right to her skin, taking deep greedy breaths. She whimpers, and he nudges her jaw with his nose to make her tilt her head. He trails his nose down her jugular, inhaling. She whimpers again. He gets on his knees and smells down her body. Her chest is heaving with how she’s panting, and he presses his forehead to her stomach, inhaling between her thighs. She tries to nudge him away, but he snarls. She jerks her hands back, pressing them tight to her body. He sniffs them next, even though they’re clenched into fists. He noses at them, but she doesn’t uncurl them. He growls, warning, and they fly open. Good. She’s obedient. He licks her palms, trailing his tongue up her left arm and to her collarbone. She’s wearing too many clothes. He can fix that. He lifts his left hand and curls it, pressing the back of his claws against her skin and ripping her clothes down the middle. She yelps. He rumbles, pleased, and sniffs her again. She’s terrified, but she still smells good. He licks the sweat from her skin, rumbling in pleasure. He drags his nose back up and makes her tilt her face away so he can taste the side of her throat. He wants her. 

He pulls back slightly, letting her right her head. “Kyle, please,” she says, looking into his eyes. She’s strong. Determined. He likes that. 

He shoves her onto the bed and gets between her thighs. He groans, feeling her body touch his. “Kyle, no,” she cries. He looks in her face, confused. She’s his mate, why doesn’t she want him? “Kyle, please, we have to talk. Can you talk,” she begs.

Kyle huffs. He can’t, not like this. He can understand words, more or less, but werewolf form isn’t for talking. It’s for taking. He lowers himself again, letting go of her arms to clutch her sides instead. He sniffs her arms, making sure he hadn’t accidentally clawed her, but there’s not a drop of blood. Good. 

*************

He slinks down her body, working his shoulders between her knees. He inhales deeply, and she whimpers. He extends his tongue, licking up her thighs. She jerks against him with a yelp. He presses her back down and continues to lick. Eventually, he smells slick. He rumbles, pleased his mate is showing her appreciation for his efforts. He slowly licks the source of the wetness, and she whines. He rumbles again, tilting his head so he can shove his tongue inside her. She screams. He can taste her sweetness, and he licks more of it out of her. 

“Kyle,” she cries out. Good. He wants her to scream his name. He shoves his tongue in deeper, and she cums on it. He licks up every drop. She whimpers and he pulls back slightly, checking on her. He licks his way up her stomach, and she pets his head. “I’m ok. I’m ok.”

He rumbles, soothed. He closes his eyes, enjoying the feel of her hands raking through his fur. She reaches behind his ears and rubs, and he groans. She laughs and rubs more. He presses into her hands. She hums and pets him. He puts his chin on her chest and inhales. He’s tasted her now, and she smells like him. He wants to make her drip with him. He reluctantly pulls away from her hands. He inches up and presses his forehead to hers instead. She looks into his eyes, frowning in confusion. She presses her hands to his shoulders, raking to his back. He groans. He slides his nose past her cheek and buries it in the crook of her neck. His hips twitch against her. “Fuck, Kyle, are you serious,” she asks quietly. He licks her neck. She inhales shakily and nods. “Ok.”

He holds onto her hips and lets his cock come out, shifting up until it’s level with her hole. His head ends up well above her own. He hitches his hips until the head catches. She inhales shakily again and he slowly pushes in. When he’s not even halfway inside, she cries out, but it’s muffled. He looks down at her face, and she’s biting her lip. As he watches, a single drop of blood drips out. He whimpers and ducks to nose at her mouth and doesn’t leave her, and she releases her lip with a gasp. She holds onto his sides, shaking. He slowly inches in more. When he’s flush, she breathes heavily. He noses at her temple. “I’m ok. Just give me a second.” He settles himself by concentrating on the wet heat around his cock. She’s not tight, which means she’s enjoying this, but she still clings to him. He growls a question, and she nods. “Ok. I’m ready.”

He slowly pulls halfway out and then pushes back in, and she moans quietly. Encouraged, he does it again. She lifts her hips to meet him, and he rumbles. He slowly increases his pace, encouraging more pleased noises from her. Soon, they’re rocking against each other and she’s moaning almost continuously, hands clenched on him. “Kyle,” she sobs out. He buries his nose in her pillow and pants, fucking her hard. She cums again and he growls, pulling out until only the head is inside and then slamming forward, locking his knot in and flooding her. She whimpers and shivers. He licks her head, and she nods. “I’m ok. I’m ok.” He settles on her, and she pets his arms. He noses into her hair, the strands fluttering with his breath. She’s his completely, at last. She mutters something and shifts, and he moves with her to not hurt her. She must find a more comfortable position because she settles. He runs his hands down her sides and she purrs. He rumbles back. She turns into him and her breath evens out. She fell asleep. 

His knot deflates and he reluctantly pulls back. She clutches at him as if to keep him inside, but he has to pull out of her. When he’s completely out, he ducks his head to check if he hurt her. But there’s no blood, just their combined cum. He stretches out next to her and noses into her. He falls asleep. 

*************

Kyle wakes up the next morning, fully human again. He looks beside him, but Skylar is still fast asleep. She’s finally claimed, and that will get his father off his back. He traces his eyes over her, enjoying the view. She’s naked still, and he can smell that she’s soaked with his scent. His wolf rumbles, pleased, at that. He can smell her on himself, too, and that makes him happy. He can’t believe she let him do that to her. That she actually seemed to want his wolf. He stretches out a hand and gently skates it across her stomach. She hums and turns into him, nosing under his chin. Her breaths puff against his throat, and he wraps around her. He can wait until she wakes up. 

Skylar wakes up slowly, wincing. She’s a little sore, and then all the memories come flooding back. She can feel skin against her, not fur, and that calms her significantly. But she still half can’t believe what happened last night. Kyle had transformed in front of her, and that was terrifying. But then…he had been as gentle with her as he could. She shivers, remembering what they had done. Kyle, even in that form, was desirable. She carefully pulls her face away, and Kyle is already awake. “We need to talk,” she says. He nods. He pulls away, and she wants his warmth back. She sits up, pulling the sheet around her chest, and Kyle sits up as well, sitting cross-legged and keeping his half of the sheet in his lap. “You should have told me.”

“I know, but there just never seemed to be the right time,” he sheepishly admits. “It’s not exactly easy to tell someone you’re a werewolf. And I lost track of time. I didn’t realize the full moon was tonight until this morning.”

She nods. “And I get that, but you scared the shit out of me last night.”

He nods. “I’m sorry for not warning you.”

They’re silent for a minute. 

“I’m also sorry for what we did,” he blushes.

Skylar ducks her head. “I’m not.”

Kyle’s breath hitches and he reaches out, nudging at her jaw so she looks up. “You told me ‘no,’ and I’m so sorry that I didn’t stop, but when I’m like that…I’m all instinct.”

She nods. “I get it.” He raises an eyebrow. “Ok, maybe not ‘get it,’ but kind of understand. We’re married, right,” she says, and he nods. “Your wolf probably saw me as…his. Am I right?”

“Yeah. As his mate.”

“And what, exactly, does being a werewolf’s mate entail?”

“I imagine the same things as being a werewolf’s wife entails,” he smiles. “It’s not a possession thing, I promise,” he assures her. “You’re not mine like my clothes are mine,” he tries to explain. “You’re mine like you’re my person,” he shrugs. “Like you’re the first one I want to tell anything, and how…I hope I’m yours,” he trails off. She leans forward and cups his jaw, stroking it with her thumb. She gently kisses him, and it’s nice for her first kiss despite the morning breath. 

“You’re mine,” she breathes against him. “And I’m yours.”

“I’m yours,” Kyle says quietly back. “And you’re mine.”

She smiles and opens her eyes, finding Kyle’s warm brown eyes already looking at her. 

Kyle laughs lightly and she just looks at him in curiosity. “We’re doing this all backwards, aren’t we? Marriage. Sex. Kiss.”

Skylar laughs with him. “Now come on,” she invites, taking his hand. “I feel kind of gross, let’s take a shower.”

Kyle follows her, leaving the sheet behind. She sets the shower to hot and leans against him while it warms up. She blushes when she feels his release start to trickle out of her now that she’s upright. He strokes her sides, rumbling. It’s not as deep as it was last night, but it still makes her shiver pleasantly. “God, I’ve never been so glad my parents are Betas,” she laughs. “I do not want them knowing anything about last night.”

Kyle chuckles and reaches out, checking the temperature of the water. He nudges the cold water knob and coaxes her into the stall. She keeps touching him, savoring their closeness. “I don’t get that same luxury, unfortunately,” he says as he hands her her body wash. “Even werewolf Betas have enhanced senses of smell.”

“So, who knows you’re a werewolf,” she asks as she starts to wash up, blushing as she washes herself out. 

“My whole family is,” he shrugs. “The closest royal advisors. The court. A handful of trusted staff. Not many others.”

“I assume no one from my side.”

“Not a soul except you.” She nods and washes up. Kyle puts shampoo in his hands and starts to wash her hair, making her hands still and a purr start in her throat. He chuckles and noses against her neck as he washes her hair leisurely. She eventually gets clean and turns around, helping him wash, too. His hair isn’t long enough for it to take long to scrub, unfortunately, but he seems to enjoy it when she does it for him. 

They rinse off and she turns off the water, and then they step out and dry off. She wraps a towel around herself and he wraps a towel around his hips. She laughs when he turns her around and ducks his head, pressing kisses up the side of her throat until he gets to her lips. She anchors a hand against the back of his neck and licks into his mouth, making him rumble. He walks her backwards into their room, and then he goes to her neck again.

“Well,” a voice says, and she yelps and whirls. Kyle snarls viciously. Ray is standing there. “I guess last night went well.”

“Ray, get the fuck out,” Kyle demands, standing in front of Skylar. 

“I just wanted to make sure Skylar was alright,” Ray covers. She hides herself more behind Kyle. “You finally claimed her. Your father will be pleased.”

“Yes. Now get out.”

Ray leaves, and the door closes sharply behind him. Kyle turns and gathers her into his arms, nosing into her hair. Skylar curls into him and lets him soothe her. He rubs her arms and then pulls back. 

“We have to get dressed,” he says reluctantly. “I don’t trust Ray to tell my father that I claimed you.” She nods and they get dressed.

“Won’t he be your advisor,” she asks him. He nods. “Why don’t you trust him?”

He snorts. “As I’m sure you’ve noticed, he always seems to have an ulterior motive. Now come on,” he says, extending his hand. “Let’s go have breakfast.”

Skylar nods and takes his hand, walking with him to the dining room. They sit side by side and eat, and King Rowland soon comes in. He sniffs the air and nods. He locks eyes with his son, who holds his gaze. King Rowland smiles and his gaze slides to Skylar, who is blushing and won’t look at him. He approaches and Kyle puts his arm around her. King Rowland pulls out the chair next to Skylar and sits. “I’m glad you were claimed,” he says, and she blushes harder and nods. “Was it really last night?”

“Father,” Kyle complains.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Skylar says quietly.

“And you saw he was what we are?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

King Rowland nods, contemplative, as he stands. “Good. Kyle, I want a private word after you eat.”

“Yes, Father.”

King Rowland walks out of the dining room. Skylar relaxes and leans into Kyle. They finish their breakfast and Skylar stacks the plates together so it’s easier for the staff to clean up. 

Kyle presses a kiss to her cheek and squeezes her hand before he walks away. Skylar walks around to find something to do. She turns the corner. She jumps back and yelps when Ray steps out of an alcove, eating an apple. “So,” he says. “My cousin finally claimed you.” She wants to ignore him, but she’s polite.

“Yes.”

She keeps walking and he falls into step beside her. “I’m surprised it was last night,” Ray admits. “Tell me- was it before or after the shift?”

“All due respect, Royal Advisor Raymond, but that’s none of your business.”

“After, then,” he smirks. “I’ve never fucked anyone fully-shifted. It must have been terrifying.” He grabs her arm and stops her. She goes to pull out of his grip, but he tightens it so she can’t. “Tell me,” he leans in. “Did he force you? You don’t smell like you bled,” he looks down. She resists the urge to knee him between the thighs and settles for pulling away. 

“Again. None of your business.”

“Ah, so you were actually willing,” he laughs. She turns her back on him and walks away. He follows her. “I never thought anyone would actually want to take a monster’s cock,” he says easily. “He must have put you on your hands and knees so you took it like a good little bitch.” She whirls and slaps him. He grins despite it. He even has the audacity to laugh. “Oh, you were on your back,” he realizes. “You probably even enjoyed it.” She walks on. He follows her again. “I’d be better,” he growls into her ear. She jerks away from him. “I’m older, I have more experience with Omegas. You’d beg for me.”

“Fuck off.”

Ray clicks his tongue. “That’s no way for an O to talk.” She shoves him against the wall, snarling despite herself. She’s never succumbed to her instincts like this. He leans forward, into her face. He cocks his head. “Feisty. I like that.”

“Listen to me, and listen closely,” Skylar says, and he smiles. “I am Kyle’s wife. You will not talk to me this way. If you continue to, I will go to your King myself and tell him.”

“You think he doesn’t know,” he raises an eyebrow. Skylar backs up a step, concerned. “You see, Kyle wasn’t his first choice. If the King had his way, I would be your husband. And if I were your husband,” he drags his eyes down her body. “It would be my cock you took last night, and you wouldn’t be able to walk today.” He smirks. “Take care, Skylar.” He walks away. She all but runs to the staff’s quarters. She knocks hard on the door and Cherise, the head of the female staff, opens it. 

“What’s wrong,” Cherise asks, concerned.

“Where’s Kimberly,” Skylar asks. 

Cherise lets her in and she goes to Kimberly’s room. She knocks on the door and the girl opens it. 

“Skylar,” she says, surprised. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I come in,” she asks. Kimberly nods and steps aside. Skylar paces and Kimberly sits. “Kyle and I had sex last night.”

“Did he force you,” Kimberly demands.

“No, nothing like that,” she assures her. Kimberly relaxes. “But his cousin, Ray, is being weird,” she admits. 

“Weird how?”

“Weird as in he just told me he wants to fuck me,” she says.

“He what,” Kimberly exclaims. 

“And I want to tell King Rowland, I do, but Ray said that he already knows, and would rather I be with Ray than Kyle.” Skylar sits in the other chair and rubs her face.

“He could be lying,” Kimberly points out. 

“I know, but you know how I can doubt myself.”

Kimberly sighs. “This is serious, Sky,” she says. “Talk to Kyle, see if he’ll go with you to talk with his dad.”

Skylar nods. She stands and so does Kimberly. They hug and Skylar leaves. She walks to the gardens and sits. She lets the sunshine soothe her. 

She texts Kyle, letting him know where she is when he’s done.

Kyle comes to find her an hour later, sitting next to her on the bench. “What’s wrong,” he asks, picking up her hand to lay a kiss on the back of it. She settles further. 

“Can we talk privately in our room?”

“Of course.” They walk there. When the door is closed, she sits on the settee and he sits next to her. “What’s wrong,” he asks quietly. She breathes for a few moments. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

“I think we need to talk to your father.”

“About what?”

“Ray.”

“What did he do,” he growls, the air souring with his anger. She turns on the settee to look at him, cupping his jaw. She kisses him softly, and he relaxes a little. “What did he do,” he asks again, slightly calmer.

Skylar sighs, rubbing her thumb along his jaw. “Promise me that you’ll do nothing about it except talk with your father with me.”

“I promise.”

“He told me that he should have been the one with me last night,” she admits. Kyle snarls and jumps to his feet. “Kyle, listen,” she says, and he paces in front of her.

“That asshole,” he snaps. “You’re my wife, Skylar,” he looks at her. “Mine.”

“I know. I’m yours, and you’re mine. We talked about that this morning,” she says as she stands, reaching for him. He pauses but steps into her hands, letting her rub from his shoulders to his elbows. She has to make a few passes before he calms down enough.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” he admits, looking at her.

“I don’t either,” she whispers. “Maybe your father will talk sense into him. Get him to back off.”

He nods and steps close, leaning down to scent her. She rubs the back of his shoulders and buries her fingers in his hair, letting him. She turns her nose into his neck and closes her eyes. She breathes him in, letting his pine scent soothe her.

“Ok,” he says, lifting his face. They pull back to look at each other. “Let’s go.”

He takes her hand and leads her to the visiting council room. There are guards standing on either side, lances straight up. “Tell my father we’re here to speak with him,” Kyle says.

“I’m sorry, Crown Prince Kyle, but King Rowland isn’t available right now. He’s talking with King Windham.”

“We can wait,” Skylar strokes down Kyle’s arm. 

They do. It’s nearly two hours later when the door opens. King Windham steps out, frowning at Skylar and Kyle. “What are you two doing here,” he asks.

“We just need to talk to my father, Your Highness,” Kyle says.

“Alright,” he smiles. “As long as nothing is wrong.” He walks away, guards following him. Kyle leads Skylar in. 

“Father,” Kyle calls, and the man turns. 

“Kyle. What do you need?”

Skylar strokes her thumb over Kyle’s hand. “We need to talk to you,” he says.

King Rowland nods and sits at the table. Skylar stays at Kyle’s side as he stands near his father. “What is it?”

“Ray is becoming a problem,” Kyle says.

“Why?”

Kyle looks at Skylar, and she nods. Kyle takes a half step back, and she takes a half one forward. She’s now slightly in front of Kyle.

“Ray is being disrespectful, to both me and Kyle’s and I’s marriage.”

“How so?”

She pauses, trying to think of how to phrase this. 

“I appreciate plain words, Lady Skylar.”

She nods. “He is insinuating that he should have been the one to wed me.”

King Rowland meets her eyes. “If I had my way, he would have been.”

She stiffens. “Father,” Kyle says, standing in front of Skylar once more. “What are you talking about?”

“Kyle, as much as this alliance means for our country, there are other potential alliances that are more important. If King Windham hadn’t publicly asked me to allow you to marry Lady Skylar, and instead offered behind closed doors, I would have offered Ray instead. He is high-ranking enough that it wouldn’t be seen as an insult, and then you would have been free to marry someone else. Someone from another country that would be more…helpful.” He turns his attention back to Skylar. “Lady Skylar, I mean no disrespect at all. But you are not high-ranking enough to marry any prince, let alone a crown one.”

“Father,” Kyle snaps.

“Silence, Kyle.” His hand tightens on Skylar, but he doesn’t continue. “As I said, I mean no disrespect,” King Rowland says. “But you are the youngest daughter of a lord. A high lord, of course, but a lord nonetheless. Kyle should have wedded a princess. Someone more befitting his status. Even an eldest daughter of a high lord would have been preferable. King Windham should have offered your sister instead.” He scoffs. “He is far too concerned with matching ages closely. As if that should matter.”

Kyle’s hand squeezes hers. She squeezes back. 

“Lady Skylar,” King Rowland continues. “You seem to be a lovely girl. And I know I told Kyle that he should claim you, but I regret that. If he hadn’t, I would be within my rights to pair you with Ray. Kyle would rather I didn’t, but he has a country to think of. And so do I. You would be a far better match for a royal advisor.”

“Your Highness, if I may,” Skylar starts.

“You may not.” She stops, dumbfounded. “As I said. I mean no disrespect, and you do seem to be a lovely girl. But you are not good enough for my son.” He stands. “Good day to you both. You know the way out.” She and Kyle stand for a moment. “Go,” his voice darkens.

Skylar bows and turns, gently tugging Kyle’s hand. They leave the room. Skylar drops Kyle’s hand and whimpers, walking quickly. 

“Skylar,” Kyle says, following her. She goes to their room and he closes the door behind them. She finally breaks down into sobs. “My father is being an idiot,” he says, sitting and pulling her into his lap. He buries his nose behind her ear. “I’m not letting you go.”

She clutches his shoulders and buries her face in the side of his throat. He rocks her, making soothing sounds. She eventually stops crying, sniffling as she leans back and wipes her face. “Kyle,” she starts, voice wavering. “He’s right.” Kyle stiffens. “You should have married someone else,” she says, shaking her head.

“No, I don’t want someone else. I want you,” he says. 

“Since when does that matter in royal families?”

“Skylar-”

“I’m not royal, Kyle. Yes, my father is a lord and yes, I live in the king’s castle for half the year. But only half. I’m the youngest daughter, I had almost no hope of getting a husband.”

“Skylar,” Kyle starts again.

“Kyle,” she cuts him off. “Maybe it is better if I go with Ray.”

“No,” Kyle snarls. “You’re my wife. You’re my mate . I don’t want you with anyone else.”

“And I don’t want to be with anyone else, either,” she assures him. “But it’s for the best.”

“No.”

“Kyle, we both have our countries to think about,” she tries to urge him. “I care about my country deeply, and I have no doubt you do too. Your king is right, there are far better matches for you.” She smiles ruefully. “My country is small. We’re not a military powerhouse, we don’t have colonies. There are other, more powerful, countries that you should make alliances with.”

“I don’t give a fuck! For once, I want something just for me,” Kyle says. “All my life, I’ve been doing what my father wanted. And finally, finally, I get something, some one for myself. Skylar,” he says, taking her hand and putting it over his heart. “I love you,” he professes. She closes her eyes. “You’re my wife, and I intend on keeping you.”

“I love you too,” she admits, opening her eyes. A tear escapes.

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing,” he smiles. He wipes the tear away.

“Because it makes this so much harder.”

“No, Skylar, please,” Kyle says. 

She shakes her head. “This is for the best.”

“Not for us,” Kyle snaps. “I don’t care about match-making or politics. I don’t care what my father wants. Your king wants us together, and so do I.”

“Kyle,” Skylar says. He leans forward and kisses her, and she kisses him back. She rests her forehead against his when they pull back. “Please.”

“No.”

“Kyle, don’t you see ,” she demands, getting off his lap. “I will never be accepted by your family. I will probably never be accepted by your country. I refuse to be the wedge driven between you and your father.” She shakes her head. “I can’t take that.”

“And what, you’ll take being a pawn,” Kyle demands.

“I’ll take what’s expected of me. And so should you.”

“Skylar,” Kyle says. “Please.” He gathers her into his arms. She burrows into him, pressing her face to his chest. “Don’t do this to us.”

“I have to.”

“No, you don’t. I can abdicate.”

“Don’t,” Skylar says, pulling her face from his shirt.

“If that’s what it takes to keep you, I’ll do it,” he leans down and kisses her softly. She opens under him, and he kisses her deeper. He pulls away, keeping contact with her. “If my father continues to try to drive us apart, I will.”

“Talk to Joseph,” she says. “See what he thinks.” She doesn’t know what she wants Joseph to tell him. 

He nods and kisses her forehead. “Come with me.”

“Kyle-”

“Please.” She sighs but nods. 

They go to Joseph’s room and knock. His voice bids them to enter, so they do. Joseph is sitting at his desk, writing something, but looks up when Kyle shuts the door.

“Hey,” he smiles. “What’s up?”

Kyle pulls Skylar under his arm, and she goes, laying her head on his shoulder. 

“My father wants to pair Skylar with Ray.”

Joey sighs and drops the pen. “I was afraid of this,” he admits, standing. “Your father is a good king,” he says. “I was surprised when he allowed you to wed Skylar in the first place.”

“Joey,” Kyle starts.

“Please just let me talk.” Kyle stops. “I don’t know why King Windham asked publicly to let you two marry. But I do know that your father is smart, especially politically. He would want Skylar to be with an advisor instead. That would leave you free to marry a princess.” Joey sighs, folding his arms. “But you seem happy,” Joey says, leaning in slightly. “I’ve never seen you like this,” he smiles.

“Joey, I’ll abdicate for her,” Kyle says.

“I would advise against telling your father that,” he says.

“Joey, I love her.”

“Since when does that matter,” Joey asks, smiling sadly. “Look,” he says, sitting on a couch. “I get it, Ray isn’t the best person,” he shrugs. “And he won’t make as good a husband as you do, Kyle. But it might be the best choice.”

“No. I’m not giving her up.”

“Kyle-”

“No! I’m not giving her up.”

Joey sighs and bows his head before he nods. He looks up. “Skylar,” Joey turns to her. “What do you want?” 

“I want to be with Kyle,” she admits. “But I know it might not be possible.”

“Ok. I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you,” Kyle says.

They leave Joey’s room. 

Ray is summoned to his king’s council room. He stands in front of King Rowland, waiting patiently. “I was told that you’re pursuing Lady Skylar,” he says.

“Yes, my King.”

He sighs. “You know that I’d rather she be with you than Kyle. But my son is being willful about this. He normally does what he’s told. I don’t like that this girl is bringing this out in him,” he scowls, standing. “I told them that I want you with her. Kyle didn’t like that at all.”

“So he won’t give her to me.” He can’t hide his disappointment.

“No,” King Rowland sighs. “It would be so much easier if he would.” He looks at Ray. “You’re a fine match for Lady Skylar. I will do my best to maneuver around my son.” Ray smiles.

“Thank you, my King.”

“Go.”

He bows and leaves. He takes a circuitous route around the castle, walking past Kyle and Skylar’s room. He briefly pauses outside, but they aren’t in. Shame. He walks to his own room. 

Ray locks the door. He hadn’t expected Skylar to take Kyle when he was shifted, especially for their first time fucking. The idea arouses him as much as it angers him. He should have been the one to fuck her. But if he and his king have their way, he’ll have her soon enough. He smirks, thinking of a put-out Kyle. Unfortunately, it seems as though Skylar is as taken with Kyle as he is with her, so that will take some doing to fix. But he’s sure two or three nights with him will be more than enough to turn her affection towards himself. He smiles, imagining it. 

He’d probably have to treat her gently at first, but as soon as she warmed to him, he’d be able to fuck her like he wants and she needs. Because all pretty girls like her deserve to be fucked hard against every surface. He’ll ensure that she enjoys it, of course. Make her cum as many times as he can before he locks himself inside her. He imagines being buried in that sweet cunt, feeling her gush around him. She had taken Kyle in his shifted form, he has no doubt she’ll take him, too. He pictures bending her in half, pounding into her, and he hardens in his pants. He strips and lays in bed, lazily wrapping a hand around himself. She would mewl and gasp, cum at least three times under him. He would knot her, fill her with himself, watch that cum pour out of her when he softens enough to pull out. He would tip her back, keep that cum inside so she can dig it out of herself to eat. He growls quietly. She might push him back, wrap that pretty mouth around his shifted cock to let him fuck her mouth and cum down her throat. Moan as she fingers herself as he does so. She would drip with him, and Kyle would be able to smell how satisfied she is with Ray and not him. Ray smirks. 

He might even turn into a full wolf, fuck her like that. Let her feel like the bitch she is, taken by an animal. He squeezes his hand as he drags it up, and tilts his head back against the pillows. Fuck her so hard she won’t walk for a week, let alone the next day. She’d eventually crave the soreness, love being fucked open. Beg for him to bend her over a table and have her between meetings, almost getting caught. She’d make the most delicious noises- whines and mewls and little moans. She’d be the perfect lover, put all the rest of them to shame. And when she’s in Heat, oh Lord. He would fuck her full, watch her swell with his child. He growls, fucking up into his hand. He cums in his fist. He pants as he opens his hand. He’ll have that pretty Omega. Even if he has to get Kyle out of the way first. 

King Rowland rests his chin on his hands, thinking. His son is being stubborn. He’s never been like this, and it’s all that girl’s fault. He never should have tried to speak with Kyle. He should have just taken her away from him and given her to Ray. He’ll be a good husband to her. Now that Kyle has claimed her, this will take more finesse. Technically, he could force the issue. But that would just anger Kyle, make him more willful. No, the best course of action is to get Kyle to willingly give her to Ray. Make him see sense. He thinks of what country would be best to ally with. He reluctantly thinks that maybe Kyle would be more willing to part with Lady Skylar if he had someone closer to his own age. He’s only four years her senior. Maybe that’s the reason he’s so drawn to her- more things in common. Though what he could possibly have in common with a simple lord’s daughter is beyond him. She isn’t even an eldest daughter, she’s a fourth child. Fourth! She most likely wouldn’t have wed at all if King Windham hadn’t pressed the issue. 

He scowls at the memory. He had had to agree- Evandria might not be powerful, but its allies are. But King Windham still should have offered marriage in private. He agrees with his fellow king- a marriage would bind their countries in friendship. But a Crown Prince and a lord’s daughter is far from an equal match. King Rowland would have even accepted one of Windham’s daughters to marry Kyle- there are only a few years before the oldest one is of age. And Kyle would have done what he was told. Like he always did before Lady Skylar. He scowls again. He doesn’t know what is so special about the girl. Yes, she’s beautiful, but so many other girls are. She hadn’t seemed comfortable in the corset, like she hardly ever wears one. And he’d seen pictures of the girl- she’s more often than not in jeans and a denim jacket. She’s been seen with friends of both sexes, laughing and joking. She’s dyed her hair unnatural colors, she’s shaved the sides close to her skull. He wouldn’t be surprised to learn she isn't a virgin. The girl is a rebel, and he doesn’t need her pouring poison into his son’s ears. Even today, when she stood in front of Kyle and looked a foreign king in the eye, she was much too bold. She had stopped when he hadn’t permitted her to speak, which is something he supposes, but that she even had the audacity to say ‘if I may’ when he was clearly not done was infuriating. The only reason he hadn’t said anything to her is that Kyle was there. If they had been alone, he would have punished her appropriately. She shouldn’t be half as daring as she is. Her father must be incredibly weak or even more incredibly stupid to allow her to act that way. Once they’re in his kingdom, she’ll learn manners.

There’s a knock on the council room door. “Enter,” he says. Joey opens the door and comes inside, closing it behind him. He approaches and stands respectfully. “What is it, Joey?”

“Kyle and his wife came to me. I understand the political side,” Joey says. King Rowland is astounded- Joey is normally even more obedient than Kyle. One conversation with the girl and she’s turned him against his King. “But Kyle is happy with her.”

“That doesn’t matter,” King Rowland says.

“Your son is happy, my King. Doesn’t that mean something ?”

“No,” King Rowland says. “Kyle will get over it when he weds his new bride. Ray will make her a fine husband,” he tells him. “And she’ll be a good advisor’s wife.”

“My King-”

“You know the way out.”

Joey pauses but bows and leaves. 

Kyle curls around his wife, holding her close. He won’t let her go, no matter what. He wants her, just as she wants him. And it isn’t just because she accepted his wolf, though that was huge- she’s just so different from every other girl his father made him speak to. They were nice, but Skylar just seems…genuine. Like she means every word she says. And she doesn’t care about politics, doesn’t say things just to impress him. She’s her own person. He resolves to thank her parents tomorrow. Skylar turns in his arms and presses her nose under his chin, still asleep. He warms internally- she seeks comfort in him, even unconscious. Joey will help his father see sense. If he doesn’t, if he continues to suggest that he give her up…he’ll abdicate. It’s never been what he wanted, but he’ll do it. For her. He settles down and closes his eyes, finding sleep himself.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Because Of You (Pt.5)

Summary: Rue decides what she really wants, once and for all.

Trigger warning: this is a mature/dark series including drug use, mentions of mental illness, overdose, domestic disputes, the works. These are very real and serious issues that people face and I am not glorifying them in anyway. If you or anyone you know is struggling please reach out to a professional for help.💜

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

In the beginning, when Rue and Y/N first got together, Rue was happy. Probably the happiest she’d ever been. Y/N loved her, really loved her. Harder, better, deeper than anyone else.

She wished Y/N could’ve met her Dad. That those two huge pieces of her life could’ve been one, instead of shattered into separate segments. Before and after.

Rue couldn’t wait to see her, hug her, kiss her…anything with her. Y/N made her feel good, just because she liked making her feel good. She made her feel alive and showed her how good things could be.

And every year, on April sixteenth, Y/N would raise a toast to her best friend and love of her life, for another twelve months sober.

Y/N made Rue sure for the first time that she could keep going. She made Rue want to live. If for no other reason than to be with her. Y/N filled all the broken parts of Rue with love. And then she took it away.

The worst part was, she didn’t even mean to. It was one of those things in life that just sort of happened. Y/N grew up. She made something of herself and Rue watched. Rue played her part. She cheered her on, because that’s what you do when you love someone.

She watched her walk out the door each morning knowing she’d come back a little later than the day before. Rue pretended that was ok, because that’s what you do when you love someone.

Y/N stayed up late with her, making up for lost time. Leaving their bed tired the next morning while Rue got to sleep in. She went to get ready for the day with a kiss to Rue’s head and a grumbled ‘I love you,’ from the brunette. Because that’s what you do when you love someone.

Rue painted on a smile when Y/N talks about their future. About dreams of hers and hers sinks, the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and growing old together. Rue never allowed herself to want those things. But now, here the light of her life sits, telling her that she can have them.

Rue’s scared shitless, but she realized that was exactly what she wanted. Because she loved someone a thousand times more than she loved herself.

Y/N caught her around the waist in their kitchen, making her dance to the sound of silence and their laughter and Rue thought, ‘I can do this. I want to do this.’ For the rest of her life.

The night that Rue hit up Laurie for a few lines of coke and fentanyl she knew it was a mistake. She’s made deals with the devil before and the consequences are always greater than the reward. But she was older now, she can afford what she wants.

“You sure that’s all you need, Rue?” Laurie asked, bringing out an assortment of drugs that would’ve made Rue salivate ten years ago.

She knew that she was about to ruin her perfect life. She thought, stupidly, that it would be a one and done deal.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Ok,” the woman replied. “Well if you change your mind you know where to find me.”

“Thanks,” Rue slid the cash onto the table between them. Stuffing her stash deep into the pocket of her jeans as she stood up.

“Hey, how’s your girlfriend doing? The real pretty one with the Y/H/C hair?”

Rue’s pulse jumped. Y/N was off limits. They don’t talk about her. “She’s good.”

Laurie pursed her lips. “You know, if she ever wants to make a quick buck-”

“No.” Rue cut her off. That was the end of the conversation. If Laurie so much as looked at Y/N wrong Rue would kill her. She wouldn’t hesitate.

No drug could numb Rue enough to see Y/N and the look on her perfect, beautiful, face when she discovered that Rue fucked up. But still Y/N doesn’t toss her out on her sorry ass.

Y/N loved her. And somehow that made Rue feel worse. More anxious, more depressed, because how was she ever going to deserve that kind of love?

How can she be the person that Y/N fell in love with when she doesn’t feel like her anymore? Rue felt like a new, unfamiliar version of the person Y/N wanted her to be. How was Y/N going to love Rue for who she is when Rue wasn’t even sure who she is?

“Rue,” Y/N whispers. Shaking her shoulder, pulling Rue from her thoughts.

“Huh?” She jumps, having taken more narcs than she should’ve. It’s all she can do to keep her eyes open.

“Let’s go home.” Y/N pulls her upright, tossing Rue’s arm over her shoulder for support.

“What? No.” Rue drawls, “I was just taking a piss. I’m good to go again.”

“You were taking a piss slumped over the tampon can?”

Rue laughs it off, “I mean-“

“Please just tell me you didn’t snort off it.” Y/N is funny, funny and beautiful and too perfect for this world. Let alone Rue.

“I’ll do you one better,” Rue leans in to whisper. “I’ve snorted nothing all night. Everything is,” Rue moves a hand to demonstrate, “whoop. Right in my mouth.”

“Nice,” Y/N nods.

“How long do you really think it’s gonna take you to forgive me for all this?”

“I haven’t thought about it.” Y/N admits. She’ll get Rue through this and then worry about forgiveness.

“It’s gonna be bad, isn’t it?” Rue groans, throwing her head back in exasperation. “Like years.”

“Doubt it.” Y/N shrugs, “I never could stay mad at you.”

“I am sorry.” Rue says.

“I know.”

“And I do fucking love you with every cell in my body.”

“Every cell?” The Y/H/C repeats, “that’s a new one.”

“It’s a true one, baby.” Rue gives her ‘the’ look. She thinks she’s slick.

“Oh my god.” Y/N rolls her eyes.

“You know, even when you’re high. You’re like steady. Really steady and I know that I can trust you.”

“You didn’t trust me before?” Y/N cocks her head to the side.

“I always trust you.” Rue thought she knew that by now. “But would you trust me right now?”

“Yeah,” Y/N tells her. “I trust you.”

She shouldn’t. “When you start coming off that benzo you’ll probably want another. I’m not gonna give it to you.”

“For all the times you claim to enjoy vanilla sex, you are deeply, deeply sadistic.” Y/N smirks. “We should explore that.”

“Now?”

Y/N turns to Rue, brushing long curls over her shoulders and away from her face. “I’m strip searching you when we get home and flushing all your baggies down the toilet. You’ll have nothing but aspirin to take the edge off.” Y/N informs her. “The recommended dosage.”

“Sick bitch.” Rue pulls her in for a heated kiss, their tongues rolling together.

Y/N breathes her in, pulling her closer as they stumble into the wall.

“If you wanna wreck me, do it. It’s easier than trying to fix me, I promise.” Rue pants against her mouth.

“We are fixing this, you and me.” Y/N murmurs, hitching Rue’s leg up around her hip, causing the brunette to gasp. “Gonna domesticate you; take care of you, make you happy. I love you so much, Rue.”

“I love-“

“Oh wow!” A voice shouts.

“Lexi?” Rue squints at her, letting her leg slip down from Y/N’s hip.

“I’m sorry,” Lexi keeps both hands over her eyes. “I didn’t realize-“

“We have to uh,” Rue clears her throat, “keep the magic alive.”

“Well that’s…great.” Lexi lowers her hands slowly to her sides. “I’m really glad to see you’re doing well.”

“Still going strong.” Y/N chimes in. “Go team!”

“I have to,” Lexi jerks her thumb toward the stalls.

“Of course,” Rue salutes her, “enjoy.”

Even Y/N does a double take at this. The pair of them dissolving into laughter. Fingers linked together as they move down the hallway, Y/N and Rue against the world. The way it always has been, the way it always will be.

For the first time in a long time, Rue feels permanence in it. This relationship. This life. This forever love. It was silly, running from it and then back to it for all these years.

“I think we scarred her.” Y/N giggles as Rue wraps her arms around her from behind. The two of them waddling down the hallway with Rue’s chin resting on Y/N’s shoulder.

“I’m sure she’s seen worse.” Rue presses a kiss to her jugular.

“You think so?”

“Well Nate said she was here with Fez, like together, together. So I assume that she knows about the birds and the bees.” Rue has a point.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Do you still love Fez?”

“I care about him.” Y/N reaches back to twine her fingers in Rue’s curls. “But I’m not in love with him.”

“Are you sure?” Rue whispers against her skin.

“Totally.” Y/N’s brows furrow. “I’m actually in love with this really beautiful woman. She’s a little bit chaotic, but that’s part of what makes her extraordinary. I lost her for a minute. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“You didn’t lose me. I lost me.” Rue tells her, “I never meant to put all this on you. It’s just that you’re the first person who made me feel like it was ok to share some of whatever the hell is going on up here.” She taps her temple. “You make everything less heavy.”

“As long as I live you’ll never have to do this on your own.” Y/N seals her promise with a kiss to Rue’s cheek. “If I’m moving too far, too fast and you need me, tell me, I’ll be there. I won’t get upset or frustrated. I’ll just slow down.”

Rue nods. “When I uh- when I detox… I don’t think you should be there.”

“So you’re open to doing it in the hospital?”

“No, no hospital.” Rue knows the way that goes. The way they’ll look at her. The way they think about her. She doesn’t want to be that person again. The one the nurses gossip about at lunch, how sad it is. Blah, blah, blah.

“Maybe a rehab center.” Y/N suggests. “I’m sure Dr. Sandford can point me in the right direction.”

“No.” She doesn’t want that either. “I want to stay at home.”

“Like alone?” Not gonna happen.

“Elliot and Jules can take turns checking on me.” If they’ll agree to that…after last time.

“You don’t want me to be with you?”

“I say the worst things in withdrawal. The more I love somebody, the more disgusting the words are.” Rue hates herself for it. “I won’t mean them. I’ll apologize and you’ll forgive me. But I know you, you’ll play them over in your head every night before you fall asleep. Every morning when you wake up. I can’t do that to you. I won’t be able to live with myself.”

“If I leave you while you’re going through hell, I won’t be able to live with myself.” Y/N whispers.

“Is this the part where we compromise?” Rue grumbles.

“I’m not budging.” Not this time.

———————————————————————

When they get home things feel different. They feel…settled. They have a plan. The pills are flushed, the cocaine is gone. Now the real work starts. The withdrawal. The puking, the screaming, the shakes, the shits.

For Y/N it’s different, when she starts coming down from the benzo she’ll just feel everything that she’s been numb to. The drugs will wear off and she’ll be clean.

For Rue it’ll take days. Days and nights spent in hell until everything leaves her system.

Y/N is the one that’ll be in the room. Her support system. Elliot and Jules will be on standby in case she needs back up. To do damage control if people start asking questions about where they are. To call an ambulance if Rue taps out or goes into cardiac arrest.

“Before you start, I need you to write down every drug you’ve taken since you relapsed.” Elliot was an addict. He knows exactly what questions the paramedics will ask if it comes to it. “Zero judgement, just be honest, in case we have to call an ambulance. They need to know exactly what you’re on so they can treat you.”

“Elliot, do me a favor.” Rue replies, numbly. Feeling her high begin to dwindle.

“Yeah?”

“Grab me a piece of paper.” Rue motions to the desk drawer.

He does, laying it in front of her with the pen.

Rue wraps her fingers around his wrist, leaning her head against his forearm. “Don’t let Y/N see unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

“I told you I’m done lying.” Elliot strokes a patient hand over her hair.

“I’m not asking you to lie,” Rue turns her gaze up at him. “I’m asking you to protect her.”

“Fine,” he breathes. “But this is the last time.”

Rue nods, jotting down the names of everything she’s gotten her hands on. It feels liberating in a way. A last hurrah. Just a long list of words that hold no power over her anymore. “Last time.”

Part 6

[the-iceni-bitch]

Territory Getting Hotter

Pairing: Carol Danvers x enhanced!Fem Reader

Words: ~2.9k

Summary: You’ve made another mess for the Avengers and they find out about your relationship with Captain Danvers

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fe receiving oral sex, use of toys, squirting, overstimulation, light dom aspects), mentions of canon level violence, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: I love these two!!! Dom!Carol is it you guys, wow. Also, reader is such a massive pain in the ass and I love her for it, I can’t wait to piss off every single Avenger with her antics.

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist here!

You beamed at Carol when she walked into the kitchen, still bleary eyed from sleep as she stretched and ran a hand through her hair.

“Hey babe!” You grinned at her. “Guess who made pancakes?”

“You’re the best sweetie.” She murmured, wrapping around your back and nuzzling into your hair. “We’ll make a housewife out of you yet.”

You laughed as she moved to pour herself some coffee when there was a sudden pounding on the front door.

“Danvers!!” A low voice shouted through the door. “Open up, its Rogers!!”

“Shit!” She hissed, looking around frantically as she tried to find someplace to stash you.

“Would you relax?” You said as you rolled your eyes at her. “He has to find out sometime.”

“Yeah, but not today! He already sounds pissed. One second!!” She shouted back, throwing on some sweats. “Just find somewhere to hide, I don’t feel like dealing with this today.”

She moved to open the door as you shook your head at her, weighing your hiding place options.

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” She said, nonchalantly as she let him inside.

“What’s up? Have you watched the news yet this morning?” He seethed as he stormed into the kitchen.

“Oh no. What did she do?” Carol said, taking a deep breath and cursing you in her head for whatever shit storm you’d started now.

“I can’t even talk about it, I’m so mad.” He growled, moving to pour himself a cup of coffee without even asking. “Even Stark was pissed, and he’s usually pretty lenient.”

“Uh-huh.” Carol said as she chewed on her lip and nibbled on a piece of bacon.

“She managed to drag Thor into it, too. We may have to move her to a full time handler, one that she can’t corrupt.” He said, starting to calm down a little bit. “We’re having a meeting about it in 30 minutes, just wanted you to be prepared. How would you feel about taking her on?”

Carol heard a snort from somewhere in the apartment and did her best not to whip around to find you. Unfortunately Steve heard it to with his damn super soldier hearing.

“What was that?” He hissed, his eyes darting all over the quarters.

“Uh, my smoke alarm’s been acting up.” Carol muttered, trying to usher him out the door. “I’ll think about it, see you soon!”

She slammed the door closed and started searching for you.

“What the fuck did you do, baby?” She asked, scanning the apartment for you.

“Y’know, I think I’m gonna leave that for a surprise.” She heard from above her head and shot her gaze upwards.

You had somehow managed to wedge yourself into a tiny corner in the ceiling of the hallway leading to her bedroom. She was giving you a disapproving look as you dropped to the floor with a grunt and grinned at her.

“You think you can handle me babe?” You said as you moved to the bedroom to get dressed.

——————————————————————————

The two of you were sitting across from each other in the conference room half an hour later, trying to act like you didn’t fuck each other’s brains out every chance you got.

Or, at least Carol was. You were sliding your foot up the inside of her leg as she glared murderously at you and you just grinned like an idiot. She shook her head at you and turned to look at the giant screen where Tony was pulling up the surveillance footage as the rest of the team gave you exasperated glances.

“Oh, here we go, we’re getting to the good part.” Tony said, giving you a meaningful look as he slowed the footage down. “Now who’s this guy you just punched in the face and then threw across the club like a rag doll?”

“I think that’s the Duke of Edinburgh.” You said with a shrug, leaning back in your chair.

“No, that’s the Duke of Sussex, y’know, the queen’s nephew.” Nat said as she took a long drink of her coffee, looking exhausted.

“Oh shit, really?” You said, still grinning like an idiot. “Whoops.”

“And wait, here’s where Point Break blows all the lights in the club, which he says was your idea, so the two of you can make a run for it.” Stark said when the video suddenly went black.

“We weren’t making a run for it, we were pursuing our suspect.” You said, staring daggers at Thor as he tried to sink into his chair.

“Uh-huh, and did you catch your suspect?” Steve said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, he’s in holding right now.” You said with a shrug.

“What?! Why wasn’t that in your report?” Rogers said as he started to dig through the pile of paperwork in front of him.

“I haven’t completed the report yet, Captain Rogers.” You said lightly. “I made sure to update Captain Danvers though.”

“Let’s not get off track, this is about you assaulting a member of the royal family.” Tony said as he tried to redirect the conversation.

“He assaulted me first! He grabbed my ass and made some very ungentlemanly comments about what he would do if he got me in his car.” You said, pouting as you rested your head on your hands.

“He did grab her ass, Stark. I saw it.” Thor piped up before Rogers shot him a look and he went back to inspecting his coffee.

“So you threw him? That seems like a bit of an overreaction.” Tony said with an uncomfortable shrug.

“It’s a reflex, Stark.” You said, your eyes rolling back in your head as the other women frowned at him. “Sorry, I don’t think putting up with sexual harassment is in my job description.”

“Ok, ok fine. Nat, is there anyway you can spin this?” Stark said, turning to Romanoff as she let out a deep sigh.

“Yeah, the man is a pretty notorious dog, shouldn’t be too hard.” She muttered.

“Great! Excellent meeting team, see y’all at the next one!” You said, starting to stand up before Steve turned his attention to you.

“No, we still need to discuss your recklessness, Y/L/N.” He seethed, shooting you a scowl that you returned with a mocking air that had Carol trying to hold back a snort. “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think the best course is to have you under more direct supervision. I considered splitting up you and Odinson but I feel like that would just spread the chaos around after how much you’ve corrupted him.”

You shot a grin and a wink at Thor that he returned as the two of you finally relaxed, but Steve was still talking.

“So, Danvers is going to be accompanying you on your missions now. I feel like her levelheaded attitude is just what’s needed to keep you two in line.” He said with a satisfied smirk.

“Uh, you sure Danvers is the best choice there, Cap?” Tony said whole Nat snickered into her coffee.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?” Steve said as he looked around at everyone’s amused expressions with confusion.

“They’re fucking each other Steve.” Nat said nonchalantly, sending Steve into a spluttering fit as you started cackling and Carol just rolled her eyes and groaned.

“What?!” Rogers roared, his eyes moving frantically between you and Carol as you grinned at him like an idiot. “How long has this been happening?”

“Six months.” Carol said resignedly, taking a gulp of coffee as she shrugged uncomfortably. “Didn’t really feel like dealing with the paperwork.”

“Si... six months?” Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands. “And you didn’t think that might be a conflict of interest?”

“Don’t worry Cap, Danvers is quite the disciplinarian.” You said with a wicked grin as you waggled your eyebrows suggestively.

Carol growled at you and gave you a meaningful look, and you just rolled your eyes at her before leaning back on your chair and propping your boots on the conference table.

“Well... shit.” Steve sighed, running his palm over his face in exasperation. “I guess Bucky can probably oversee some of your ops, and I’ll take over the rest of them. What?”

You and Thor both groaned at that, rolling your eyes at each other.

“Just, Barnes? Could you pick a bigger stick in the mud?” You said with a shrug. “I mean, we get it dude. You were tortured by evil scientists for years who turned you into a mindless killing machine, who wasn’t? And, I love you Steve, but do you even drink?”

“Ok, we’re gonna head out now.” Carol said as she frowned at you, stepping between you and Steve before a real fight broke out. “Guess we’ll report to HR as soon as we can.”

“Uh-huh.” Rogers mumbled, pouting a little as she ushered you out of the room.

Nat followed after the two of you lazily, shaking her head at Steve and Tony as Stark and Thor tried to assure the Captain that he was loads of fun to be around and a blast at all their parties.

“Congrats again you two.” She said with a grin as she split down a different hallway to her own quarters.

“Thanks Nat! You ever gonna tell him about you and Wilson?” You yelled after her, laughing when she flipped you off over her shoulder. “Told ya they knew, babe.”

“Yeah.” She mumbled before grinning at you. “So, you beat up a royal?”

“Shit. In my defense, I didn’t know he was a royal until after I threw him.” You said, following her down the hall back to her apartment. “I thought he was just a smarmy asshole.”

“That’s the problem, sweetheart.” She purred over her shoulder. “You never consider the consequences of your actions.”

“That’s all I think about, babe.” You said with a wicked grin as you waited for her to open the door.

“And now you’re dragging poor Thor into your messes.” She tutted, shaking her head at you as she closed the door and stripped off her jacket. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you had a little crush on that himbo.”

“If you didn’t know better?” You beamed at her, starting to unbutton your jeans and step out of your boots. “Honey, he’s a literal god. I have a massive crush on him.”

“Oh, are you trying to make me jealous?” She ripped off her tank top and threw it aside. “Cuz I’m already pissed at you.”

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do about it?”

She stepped forward and gripped your jaw tightly, smashing her mouth to yours as she started steering you towards the bedroom. You yelped when she tossed you on the bed, grinning as she climbed on top of you.

“You’re such a bad girl.” She growled at you, ripping your bra off in one quick motion.

You screamed when she slapped your tit harshly, the stinging sensation warming your chest while she bent to open the top drawer of the nightstand.

“I am. I’m fucking horrible.” You gasped as she rifled around. “What are you doing?”

She grinned at you as she straightened back up, holding a set of extra shiny looking restraints.

“These are vibranium.” She cooed as she grabbed your wrists and dragged them above your head, hooking them through the headboard as you panted underneath her. “I stole them from R and D, and there’s no way even you can break out of them.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” You said around a smirk, giving your hands a test yank and nodding appreciatively as Carol shackled each of your feet to the opposing bedposts.

She bit her lip as she stared at you, your legs spread wide over the bed and making your back arch. You moaned as she tore off your panties and slapped your pussy, your muscles twitching as arousal seeped out of you.

“Mmm, you look so good like this.” She mumbled, sliding down until she was laying between your thighs. “Can’t decide whether I should edge you all night or make you come so many times you forget your own name.”

She ran her tongue over your slit in a heavy stripe and you let out a shriek as you came as soon as she reached your clit. She pressed your hips into the mattress as she lashed her tongue against your bundle of nerves, making your legs quiver with the strain of your orgasm.

“Looks like you made my decision for me.” She grinned at you before diving back in.

Her tongue swirled through your folds expertly, sucking your lips into your mouth and humming against you as your pussy started clenching around nothing. She wrapped her lips around your clit and you came again with a sob as your limbs pulled against the restraints, your body trying to arch off the bed.

She shoved her tongue inside you and you screamed as another orgasm crashed over you when her teeth brushed against your tiny bundle of nerves. Carol kept curling her tongue inside you as you vibrated underneath her, moaning as your release flowed into her mouth and soaked her chin.

“Fuck, Carol!” You whined as she sat up between your legs and lightly ran her fingers over your inner thighs. “That was almost too much.”

“Oh, we’re not done yet.” She smirked as she watched you panting underneath her, reaching for the bedside table again while you squirmed.

“Hey!” you exclaimed as she pulled out a massive dildo from the drawer of toys. “Is that my stormbreaker? I’ve been looking for that!”

“Yeah, well I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” She murmured before dragging the length on the thing through your slick coated folds, making you keen. “Did you know this thing comes with a thruster?”

“Yeah, why do you think I bought it?” You teased before your eyes rolled back in your head as she shoved it inside you.

She started fucking you with the toy at a punishing pace, grinning as you came apart like putty in her hands. Tears started leaking down your cheeks when she turned the vibrating function on and angled it so it was teasing against your clit with each push.

You whined as she bent over you and wrapped her lips around your nipple and swirled her tongue around it. She grinned against your chest as you tried to arch into her mouth, your restraints still holding you in place.

“Mmm, you gonna come again baby?” She muttered, nipping at the curve of your breast as your body started twitching, your release looming over you as you sobbed wordlessly. “Do it, you look so pretty when you fall apart.”

She twisted her wrist and you shrieked as your pussy fluttered wildly, your release leaking out around the dildo and pooling on her sheets. Your cried as she kept fucking you through it, wet sloshing sounds filling her bedroom as the toy slid in and out of you easily.

You let out an inhuman wail when she turned on the thruster and you felt the tip of the toy punch you in the cervix, coming again immediately as your body writhed wildly.

“Shit, I see why you love this thing.” She smirked as she kissed her way up your chest, still shoving the toy into your overworked cunt as your body went lax, your head polling to the side and drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. “You think about Thor fucking you when you use this, babe? Maybe I should bring him in here to fuck you stupid while I watch, would you like that?”

You just mumbled stupidly as your body shook with another orgasm, sinking into the bed in your fucked out state. Her slap snapped you out of it, making you take in a sharp breath as your brain rebooted.

“I asked you a question.” She growled as she twisted the toy again and you let out a low moan.

“I feel like this might be a trap.” You gasped as she palmed at your breast and laid down against your shoulder, still thrusting the toy into you viciously.

“That sounds like a yes to me.” She purred, nuzzling into your neck as she gave the toy a final push.

You screamed as she pulled it out of you suddenly, your release squirting out of you in a violent rush. Your body thrashed violently with the power of your orgasm and Carol cursed as you snapped her headboard and bedposts, the bed frame shuddering before one of the legs gave out and it sank to the floor with a crash.

“Holy fuck, you ok?” She asked, sitting up and grinning at you as she assessed the damage you’d caused.

“Yeah.” You said, swallowing thickly as you moved your limbs with a groan. “At least we know the cuffs work! Sorry about your bed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She murmured, grabbing the key and unlocking the restraints before pulling you back against her chest. “We’ll just use yours I guess.”

“Are you gonna move in with me? I think that may give Rogers an aneurysm.”

“He’ll get over it.” She shrugged as you nuzzled into her chest. “Now, how do you think we should approach Thor?”

“What?! You were serious?”

——————————————————————————

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[mrwinterr]

So Happy

Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader

Summary: After a night with your favorite artist, you’re left wondering where you both really stand. 

Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual, but unprotected sex, oral [male & female receiving], vaginal penetration and fingering, size kink and dirty talk). Language. Light mentions of substance abuse. Lying asses. Internet toxicity (I hate it here sometimes). Angst, I guess...TIME SKIP...and absolute horrendous fluff (that’s not my brand, alright).

Disclaimer: You can read part 1 here! It would make some sense. 

A/N: This follow-up is still based on some true events. Can’t hate the players, hate the game. For the most part it’s made up because some of us deserve the ending we think we deserve. I’m dedicating this to @shawnie--jo​ for all the love, enthusiasm and the patience because this took me a while. It’s a doozy! & with that note, enjoy!

“You owe me,” is the first thing you hear your friend say the moment you stepped foot back into the hotel you had booked for the night before. It was in a much different tone than of the one she had in line for the concert.

Frozen in place, you turn your attention to her sitting figure on one of the single couches of the lobby. She wasn’t happy that much you could tell judging by the expression on her face and the way she sat impatiently, one leg over the other and her arms crossed against her chest.

The bag next to hers on the ground adjacent to her feet were your belongings. The way it was misshapen suggested she had hastily shoved your things back in it for you. She must’ve been in a rush to leave before checking out or…

“You owe me $50 for the late check out fee,” she clarifies, ceasing all thoughts of why she was currently pissed at you.

Now begins the walk of shame. It wasn’t something you were used to. Could you even call this that? You had no reason to feel ashamed because you were completely aware of last night’s events. You defended your decision as so! Then why did you feel this way?

Perhaps it had to do with you just now returning to the hotel you were supposed to have been checked out of hours ago, but instead you’re greeted to your more than displeased best friend staring daggers at you for a different reason.

Sheepishly bringing a hand to rub the back of your neck, when you’re close enough to her, you open your mouth to begin apologizing, but she wasn’t done as she got up on her feet to level with you.

“You said you would be back before check out,” she said voice slowly rising in volume, no matter the distance between you two was close or not, you could tell this was just the start of a catalyst, “and it’s...oh,” she stops to look down at her phone, which shined bright revealing her lock screen and more importantly the time, “...only three hours past check out!” Yup, not happy with you at all.  

“I know you’re upset,” you start with the obvious, “and you have the right to be. I said I would be back in time, but I wasn’t,” maybe admitting you were wrong would allow her to see you were indeed aware of your mistakes, soften the blow to come a little bit.

“Upset? I’m disappointed!” she says, her arms falling to her sides and with a look of disbelief but is quickly washed over with indisposition. “Some sell-out rockstar invites you over to see him and you lose your sense of mind?”

“Look, I’ll pay you back. It’s no big deal.” At least on your end, you’re trying to remain calm even when her tone and choice of words get under your skin. You didn’t need this weekend to end on a bad note.

“This isn’t about the money!” She proclaimed.

“Then why are you bitching at me? I’m a grown adult! I know what I did-” Yeah, at least you were trying to stay composed, right?

“Do you?” She challenges. It’s one of those rhetorical questions, in which she didn’t need an answer to, but you were still going to give her one.

“Yes, ok. I slept with Bucky and I don’t regret it.”

The defense you put up so quickly around you weren’t something your friend was used to witnessing...maybe to your parents, yeah, but not at her. Sure, you’ve both had the occasional quarrels, but your relationship and sexual life was different because she really cared for your wellbeing and would be damned if someone hurt you.

“I’m just worried,” she admits for her initial brute front, “what you did was totally unlike you and I…”

“What?” You interrupt her, growing more tired of this conversation by the second.

“I don’t trust Bucky.” She blurts out.

You scoff at that reasoning, “you don’t know him-”

“And you do?” This time she interrupts and catches you off guard on that one. “You’re right. I don’t know him, but you said it yourself. Bucky meets tons of people every day. He’s on the road a lot. It’s easy for him to get lonely.”

There it was again. The self-conscious thoughts questioning everything about last night’s events. In a pathetic display of defense, you start counter-questioning her with some of the statements Bucky said to you. Why would he tell you all those sweet things and pretty promises if he knew he could have you so easily? Why would he think you weren’t like the other women out there who exposed their escapades for their 15 minutes of fame? What made him think anything of you? There were other girls in the crowd.

“He’s going to tell you things he wants you to hear to get what he wants.” She really believed that. She knew what some men were capable of. She had more experience than you and you often turned to her for things like this.

Her last sentence was something to let sink in. The way last night played out and the last few hours you spent with Bucky; you were blinded by a rose tint world.

Earlier that morning...

“You know,” Bucky starts with his gaze first set on your face, slowly starting to drift down your body trying to catch a glimpse of uncovered skin that the blanket was doing a horrible job in concealing. You watch with bubbling desire the way he bit his bottom lip and eyes growing darker, ”...if you ever need anything. I’m here to help. I can get you out of that town and you can stay with me in Brooklyn. We’ll find you a place to work in that’ll appreciate you more.”

He was a dream. He was so sweet, but you weren’t going to deny it. As much as you adored what little you knew about the real Bucky, a part of you that was always so careful was also skeptical. That voice in the back of your mind, whether it was your parents, teachers in the past, PSA spokespersons or your best friend, was still trying to tell you Bucky wasn’t an exception.

Then on the other hand, you were finally getting what you wanted. You weren’t a little girl anymore. You could take care of your own heart. Why couldn’t you have some fun? Indulge a little. Life is too short to sit around and wait. If he was serious about any of the things he said, then great! If not, oh well, you’ll live. What’s life without experience, right?

You just never imagined any of the harmless mentions or replies through social media were going to get you in bed with him and so smitten.

When Bucky pulls his lips away from you, he repositions himself on the bed to lie on his back and bask in the comfortable silence. You’re still on your side, but your eyes suddenly widen as you curiously take a peek over his frame and notice the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. The curtains were drawn shut, so you had no trace of the actual time of day.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, but was no use. It was just you and Bucky in the room and he’d definitely wonder why you’d grown frantic.

“Whoa. What’s the rush?” He says slowly sitting up, still exhausted, and watching you throw the hotel comforter over your body to get out of bed. You didn’t even care that you were naked in front of him. He’d have a souvenir to remember you by.

The sex tape was the least of your worries though. You fucking missed check out! You can only imagine the look on your friend’s face when you reunite.

“I missed check out,” you respond while momentarily being thrown off course in search of your underwear, but then instantly remembering how Bucky tore it off of you, and you did your best to push aside last night’s activities.

“What?” He asks, rubbing his face trying to rid himself of sleep. He had to get going too. The band was off to play in the next city in some hours. Unfortunately, you didn’t have enough time to take off from work to follow him.

“The hotel I’m staying at. I missed check out and my friend is going to be so pissed at me,” you explained beaten. You can’t for the life of you see where your clothes were in the dark room.

Drawing the curtains open or switching the light on without warning wouldn’t be ideal to the both of you and not only that, the effects of the substances your body was coursed through, the physicality of you and Bucky’s actions last night, the consequence of it all topped with the lone fact that you’re now standing naked in front of Bucky starts to seep in.

You try not to stand there awkwardly and do the only thing you can do. Inhibition creeping back in, you cover your face with your hands and breath in and out, hoping the floor would swallow you whole so you could escape this embarrassment and your friend’s pending wrath.

“Look,” Bucky says now in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face, he’s naked too, washing away some traces of vulnerability away, “you’re already late. You can’t change that. We can only keep moving forward,” he says, his arms slipping around your body to pull you close to his.

The sudden jolt from the skin-to-skin contact quickly subsides with the warmth of his body transferring onto yours. You hold onto his biceps and nod in acceptance. Any attempt to rush back to your hotel wasn’t going to do you any favors now.

“So then, what do you say we get cleaned up and try to enjoy our time together?” The way his head tilted to the side, a not-so-subtle hint in the direction of the shower in the bathroom, his smooth voice and his eyes half-lidded, ready to get lost in you one more time.

You said it yourself, life was short, so if you already knew your friend was going to chew you out, why deny yourself of its pleasures right now, especially if it’s coming from Bucky. 

“Can we just get going? We’ll catch traffic on the way back to the city if we just stand here and keep putting each other down,” you ask, slightly shaking your head of the early morning activities and straightening yourself up, bending forward to pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

This little spat would eventually pass. None of the arguments you two had were ever threatening to your friendship with each other. You’ve both fought over things much more critical that it’d be a shame to let it be over someone like Bucky.

Before you could turn back around to exit, your friend grabs a hold of your arm and stops you. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. I could be wrong. Bucky could be the one, but I want you to be smart about doing whatever you end up doing with him. I just want you to ultimately be happy,” she says wholeheartedly.

You knew she was only coming from a good place. She only ever encouraged you to do your best and the right thing. She was the one you sought out advice from and she never led you astray. In the end, you knew you couldn’t ever truly be mad at her. You owed her more than $50 alone.

“Thanks. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know your intentions are in the right place and I really appreciate you for everything. You even agreed to come to this show with me! But I’m only human and I’m going to make mistakes along the way,” you say and notice the fallen look on her face, but you don’t give her long enough to feel sorry for you with your follow up statement, “...if I get hurt, it’s going to suck, but I’ll get back up, learn from it and move on. Plus, I’ll have you there by my side to tell you I told you so...again, and we both know how much you enjoy that!” You end it on a joking note.  

A look of hope creeps back in on your friend and she’s pleased to see your resilient attitude again. You give her your best steadfast smile and it seemingly proved to be successful enough for her to accept your answer as she pulls you in for a warm hug.

You wonder, what Bucky’s motive was? He was Bucky Barnes. He could have anyone. Why did he trust you enough to be intimate with? What was his game? You just had to keep telling yourself for your sanity and wellbeing, with or without Bucky, in the end you’d still be happy.

The months to follow after that tour, you and Bucky had continued to stay in touch. You genuinely felt happy. He was giving you attention! From daily texts and long phone conversations or video calls, some rather suggestive than most, you were able to really learn a lot about each other. While you minded his glamorous lifestyle, each interaction erased all notions of it and he was just another normal human being.

If you were being truthful, a part of you was hoping whatever the two of you had was exclusive. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were in a way reserving yourself for Bucky because you felt there was something between you two and maybe he was just like you and too shy to be the one to bring it up first.

At times you’d find yourself being the one to initiate conversation...especially when the communication started becoming less frequent. They then reduced to just Holiday texts and suddenly they’d become unresponsive and you’d even be left on read. He never flew you to Brooklyn. He never followed you back on social media. You’d accepted he was most likely busy and the excuse of not wanting to attract unwanted attention to you, but the reality of it was he had seemed to move on.  

It’d been close to a year and things were really quiet. The Avengers hadn’t released anything new nor did they have an upcoming tour to rehearse for. You’re trying to not let Bucky’s silence bug you and do what you’ve always told yourself - keep living your life. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you were angry at first for letting him get to you like that and realize that boys will be boys. They would never grow a real pair and be straight with women. They always had to go and sugarcoat everything. You had to accept it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You were just a one-night stand and the worst part of it was that you consented to it, so you couldn’t hold anything against him.

Things picked back up in your life, work demanded more of your time and you were dating again, taking it very slow and casual. You knew nothing more would come out of it, but it was enough to distract you from Bucky. Life was slowly returning back to normal, even though it never truly could be, until you notice Bucky is posting regularly on his social media accounts again.

It’s not so much that but is one of the comments from another user that is a constant in each sporadic post. You recognize the user as an international model from another country. Curiosity gets the best of you and you decide to check out her profile, noting all the photos of them together and realizing that while you thought Bucky went M.I.A., he was spending his free time getting cozy with her in exotic places.

Her comments start out harmless in the beginning, but quickly become more and more persistent until one sets the record straight. It read, “that’s MY man” followed by a number of heart eye emojis.

You didn’t even know Bucky and the model knew of each other, but why wouldn’t they? He was exposed to extraordinary people, so finding someone in the business was a better bet than settling with you. They lived in a totally different world than yours.

There’s a plethora of thoughts that run through your mind. This is why he isn't responding to you. He had a girlfriend, who was in a much different league than of your own, and he didn’t really go public with it on his end. It made you sad, that much you could admit to yourself because you held back for him, but you weren’t going to admit this feeling to him or your friend or the world. You were going to prove to them you’d do the same thing - move on. 

It’s a rather slow day at work and you’ve resulted in mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed, but growing tired of lame memes and life updates from people you haven’t spoken to since high school, you switch over to Twitter for a more different kind of news and also a bit of some entertainment.

You’re not expecting the particular topic to be trending - #BuckyBarnesIsCancelled. You’d manage to move on from whatever it was between you and Bucky and returned back to your daily routine. You tried to remain a fan of The Avengers, but it wasn’t the same. The fling, if you could call it, with Bucky wouldn’t let you. You’d always be grateful for how their music impacted your life, but you’d have to keep living your life despite what transpired.  

Sitting up from your slumped position in your office chair, you ponder for maybe two seconds before clicking on the hashtag. Things were still pretty quiet with The Avengers, with the exception of paparazzi photos here and there, but this seemingly came out of nowhere. What stupid thing did he get himself into?

“No way,” you mock at the headline. Claims of Bucky being mentally abusive, and an addict were being made left and right.

You scrolled through the timeline and threads of replies to find the source of it all and you were shocked that it came from none other than his own girlfriend...well now ex-girlfriend you assumed. The vindictive side of you only allowed a small part in finding some humor in this, but if Bucky was any bit of the Bucky you spent the night with and got to know for those few short months then this was sad for him.

There wasn’t much you could do though. What were you to do? Send him a message of condolences of some sort? He’d probably just leave you on read. Whatever you two had was long over.

Bucky’s agency did well to defend him and save his reputation. They released one statement to clear things up. There’d been images before of him partying and no doubt high on some substance, but that didn’t prove he was an addict. Then again, did you ever really know him? You’d been exposed to that stuff around and because of him. Some people just had more access to certain things than others did.

In some time, when things leveled out once more, he seemed to be back in the clear, but at a rate where people have already decided whose story they believed over the other, whose side they were on, the damage had been done. If there was a recurring theme here, Bucky had one thing to do after the scandal - move on with his life.

It felt a little strange being here again. If you take into consideration some of the things that had already happened, a lot has really changed since you were last in a line to see The Avengers live.

The band had taken a short hiatus to let the fire die out from Bucky’s scandal. It was probably a smart move - to let people cool their jets and forget. It was last reported Bucky had turned a new leaf...something about getting help. Steve took time off to focus on other projects...something about humanitarian work. Sam released some solo stuff...something with a different sound, but still as successful. The time off was probably the best for the guys.

There weren’t as many people it seemed, but enough for them to play in one of the city’s largest venues. You suppose that’s what a span of three years could do to an artist. When the tour was announced you weren’t sure if you should buy a ticket or not, but it’d been some time since you had a night where you could forget about the stresses of the world for a few hours. Never mind the short stint between you and Bucky, you were still a fan of their music and the joyous feeling you got from it was timeless.

This time you were alone. You didn’t even tell your friend they were touring again. Bucky was almost a nonexistent topic for a good while now. Plus, she had her own life to live and couldn’t always be there next to you. You were the bigger fan after all. On top of that, she would’ve most likely have advised against you attending.

Your attire was not to impress, electing on something casual and comfortable with a simple pair of jeans, a leather jacket over a nice top that did a better job at controlling your cleavage than the last one, and cute boots. Yeah, a lot had changed, but the scene didn’t as there were still a mix of fans, old and new, over and under dressed.

The guys still had it. They looked great! They definitely belonged on the stage for the world to see. They even played a 3-song encore. You could tell they loved doing what they did and anyone who was a fan could feel the passion and energy they poured out in the performance.

You’re currently sitting in the seat of your car, head resting against the headrest as you try to unwind a little from standing for a few hours and from the walk back to the parking garage when your phone vibrates and chimes loudly.  

You glance over at the device you placed next to the driving console and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the name that appeared. Bucky Barnes. You’d never deleted his number and his text message thread had remained at the very bottom of your messaging app all this time. A sense of apprehension flows through you as you wonder what he could possibly want. How do you just text someone after ghosting them for over a year? Not to mention to someone you did something so intimate with and made all those promises to in the past. How does one do that?

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer or slip into restless thoughts about Bucky again because it wasn’t a walk in the park to forget about him, you open the text. It asks if you were in attendance because he claimed to have seen you in the crowd. This time around you’re not overthinking about what to respond with, you simply say yes. He’d been quick with his next message asking if you were still in the area to meet up.

The wise thing would probably be to reject the invite, but you find yourself once again staring at a hotel door waiting for him to open it. Initially, you’d suggested he tell you what he wanted to say via text, but he said it was something that had to be told in person. So, having been through what you had as a result of meeting up with him in the past, you had some sense of mind this time, you’d just have to make another mental note to not jump into bed with him again. If you were being truthful to yourself, the sex tape left you feeling a little cheap. He didn’t even send it to you as some form of fucked up courtesy or assure you that it wasn’t ever going to get leaked and luckily it hasn’t. You hoped he’d deleted it.

It was almost like Deja vu. You might as well have been reliving the night the first time Bucky invited you over to his hotel room. In the beginning it was kind of awkward and quiet, and it was exactly that years later, just with added history of course.

You’d chosen to sit on the end of one of the beds while Bucky moved slowly around the room trying to gather his thoughts and where to start. He notices the change in you. You were more confident and as you should be. Bucky Barnes couldn’t intimidate you this time. He had more to be embarrassed about than you did now.

Even though you had nowhere to be in the morning, it was getting late and you really would just like to get this meeting over with and Bucky was stalling.

“Bucky, why did you invite me here?” You say, the one to break the ice. He finally stops fidgeting around and focuses on you.

“I...I wanted to apologize,” he starts off, and you’re unmoving silence allows him to continue, “I realize how much of a complete dick I was to you…”

“What do you mean?” You ask. It’s not like he spread any dirty rumors about you or anything. He didn’t need to apologize for anything that you’re aware of. Maybe for leading you on, but you came to terms some time ago that maybe he didn’t owe you an explanation or perhaps you’d never get one. Yet here you both are.

“I used you,” he explains, now you’re confused, and he can see you’re not getting it entirely, which pains him. You didn’t think anything he did with you was wrong because you consented to it. It took two to tango, right?

Except it wasn’t like that at all and he wanted you to know how he strung you along all just for a quick fuck in the beginning and to cover his tracks he acted like he cared in getting to know you afterwards not realizing something purely good could come out of it for him. The confession wasn’t meant to hurt you again, but for you to realize your worth. He messed up with someone so special.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I remembered you from years before when you tripped in front of me,” there’s a small trace of happiness in the fond memory, “...and when I saw you in the crowd that night, fuck you looked so good and you still do…” he ended up a flustered mess after that small admission.

“Where is this going?” You ask hoping he’d get back on track and reveal the rest, trying to keep the fact he admitted an attraction to you in the back of your mind.

“Right...I’ll admit my ego got the best of me. The band was doing so well, everyone noticed us! I was getting attention from all kinds of people! I got hooked to different things,” suppose those articles were true then about him getting clean, you thought to yourself, “...it does get lonely on the road and I was so desperate for anyone,” oh you hoped and prayed he wouldn’t say what he was going to say next, but he does, “...and I knew there wouldn’t be that much effort on my part to get you to sleep with me.”

Great. Your friend was right then, and he was just like any other house name artist.

“Um...okay, that’s not something I was wanting to hear about myself,” you said after letting that sink in. Did you still appear to look easy?

“No, I’m sure it’s not, but when we were alone together everything was just easy-”

“Yeah, I got that. I’m easy!” You interrupt, and now you’re angry. As he’s trying to explain his actions, you started thinking about how mad and hurt you were when he started ghosting you. You couldn’t be upset about him getting a girlfriend, but the fact that he didn’t think he could continue even being your friend and instead just chose to ignore you was the better option was hella annoying.

“That’s not what I meant!” He says trying to justify his choice of words.

“Then how did you mean it?” You demand, and Bucky is a bit stunned with your new attitude. He foresaw that he would have a difficult time in explaining himself, but he didn’t think it’d be this hard dealing with how much his actions affected you.

“Everything was easy with you because you made it easy to feel,”

“I don’t know if I understand,” you say and attempt to get up, “...maybe this was a bad idea.”

“No, please. Let me finish,” Bucky is quick to get in front of you as he pleads for you to stay. You give him a slight nod and sit back down.

“Things with you were easy in a sense that being around you I was able to just be myself. I’ve never said those things to girls before you! I didn’t have to impress you with anything flashy. I even forgot I was some rockstar! You’re an incredible person, really-”

“I’m sorry, Bucky, but I just can’t,” you say, hating to interrupt him again, but you’re not ready to hear any of this, “...none of this still doesn’t sound right. It was just one night and then how do you explain just ghosting me the moment you get a supermodel girlfriend?” that last part came out unintentionally feisty but might as well let him know how you’d felt, “You couldn’t even be my friend when you were with her! I guess it was easy to just forget me too…”

Bucky lowers his head ashamed of how he handled that and just nods in acknowledgement of his actions, “you’re right. It doesn’t make sense, but what I feel is even harder to explain...”

“None of this accounts for her,” you demand. A part of you just wanted to know where she came from. How did it happen? Who asked who out? It wasn’t important information to know about, but the urge of human curiosity was large.

“She wasn’t even my idea,” he muttered, not really wanting to talk about her.

“What?” You ask.

“Getting with her was the label’s idea,” he admits, hating he was coerced into the idea of an on-screen relationship.

You scoff at the stupidity of fake relationships in the Entertainment industry. Why did people get their rocks off over it? Were OTPs really that a big deal? Are people so bored with their own lives that they have to push corporate into bringing two people who don't have feelings for each other together? However, Bucky thinks you don’t believe him and given how little you developed in trusting him with things, he’s not entirely wrong.

“I know it was a dumb thing to agree to and it’s one of the horrors working in this business, but I know now I should’ve just been forward with you,” Bucky says, voice still riddled begging for forgiveness.

“Why couldn’t you then?” You interrogate and notice the creases of distress on his face soften. “If I made it so easy to feel, then why wasn’t it just that to tell me the truth?”

“I-I don’t know,” he replies.

“Yes, you do,” you retort, and pretend you’re going to leave, but by doing so you know it’ll only get him to spill the beans quicker.

“I was scared!” He admits, stepping in front of you and keeping you still in your place on the end of the bed.

“Scared? Of what? Me?” You ask incredulously looking up at him.

“Yes!” He says and kneels down in front of you. “You’re so perfect! You’re real! You don’t treat me like I’m some celebrity. You didn’t even participate when people started cancelling me or whatever! You could’ve and you had every right to expose me, but you didn’t!” Your act did the trick, because the words just kept coming out of Bucky.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring you, for not telling you I was with her, but the more I got to know you, a part of me got really scared that I couldn’t keep being the kind of man you deserved because of my problems,” by this point, Bucky has placed both his hands on either side of you, his arms trapping you, “...trust me, I had a lot of time to think about everything I did wrong and what harm my reckless lifestyle has on others…I just feared it was already too late, but the one thing that I always thought about that helped me get through it was the lone night I had with you. I was so happy! I wanted that again...I had to get back to that, so I invited you back to try,” you didn’t even realize how close his face was to yours. He looked so torn and you hated seeing him like that, but there was nothing you could say that could fix things right now.

Bucky now felt vulnerable and almost pathetic. Just because he wanted another shot of happiness, and with you of all people, what made it okay for him to think you wanted to try again? You weren’t so certain of what you wanted with him anymore.

“Wow,” is all you give. You’re not sure what more you could add. After all that, he actually liked you? Were you still sure you weren’t living in some fanfic world? You needed some time to think about that and much to Bucky’s expectations, you weren’t going to come to a conclusion before you left this room tonight.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” You offer him the floor, and he gets it. You’re not going to say anything particular to his confession, at least not now. He’s not upset at all. It was a lot to take in. He had time to think, and he had to respect the time you’d need now.

He nods and backs away, realizing the close proximity, “just one question,” you nod this time and let him ask, “do you regret it?”

You know what he’s referring to, sleeping with him, the sex tape, the countless conversations, meeting with him right now - everything.

“No,” you answer honestly.

He lets out a weak smile, looking down sheepishly and adds, “I’ve never done anything like this with anyone before, I promise.”

He could promise and swear up and down all he’d like, but how could you be really sure? The only response you could give him is a small, neutral hum in acknowledgement.

Bucky knew this conversation wasn’t going to go as he had hoped. He really didn’t have a plan, he just really wanted to see you again. He goes silent and you know at this point, everything was all laid out. Time would tell the rest if this was worth saving.

“I can forgive you. I know I can because in a way part of moving on allows one to do so but completing a session or doing time in rehab doesn’t really prove anything,” you said brutally honest with him, he looks up at you almost defeated and just waiting for the final blow.

“You said a lot of promising things back then and you said a lot more tonight,” you add on, and gently begin to remove his hands from the spots either side of you to let you free, and get up to head out, however not with one more thing he could reflect on, also giving him hope, “...you need to show you’ve really changed,” then the conversation was over.

In some ways, these events needed to happen. He had to hit rock bottom to learn from his mistakes and kick out the bad habit. He knew now that he had to work hard to give you a reason to trust him and maybe even in the long run be with him.

On the other hand, you had to go through this whole thing in order to not base your happiness on someone else. You could be happy on your own and open enough to be with someone that wasn’t Bucky. 

For the next few months, to your surprise, Bucky had actually made an effort to keep in touch with you. It wasn’t overbearing and he minded your space as well as he could from a distance, given that he was still busy with the band and other duties that came with his status.

While at times he could be flirty, you learned it was part of his charm. Your friend wasn’t entirely thrilled when you’d admitted to her that you visited Bucky that night. You might’ve not shown it, but she knew how much his past actions affected you. Granted it did its job in teaching you a lesson and in return allowed you to be more confident and to not take anyone’s bullshit, she’d be damned if Bucky tried to pull another act like that around you again.

By now, you were comfortable enough with him to even tell him about random dates you’d gone on; none proving to be long-term, but it was nice to confide in someone else other than your best friend and get an opinion from a male perspective.

You weren’t going to lie, there was a part of you that still liked Bucky more than a friend, but you weren’t sure when it was okay to willingly go all in again with him. Sure, you’d given him another chance, but just how low could people really go to get what they wanted? Some people could just be really manipulative, and you weren’t wanting to ruin what you’ve both rebuilt for yourselves. Either way, you’d be happy with him in your life even as a friend, which is how it could’ve gone if he’d been honest from the get-go.

The year was coming to a close and you’re at your job’s annual Christmas party. You’d managed to convince your friend to be your plus one, but she claimed she didn’t need bribery because your company always ordered outstanding catering and who in their right mind would turn down free food anyways?

Aside from pretending you were having a great time talking to your co-workers, most of which whom you barely spoke to at the office and as faux-friendly as they were tonight, you felt stupid for glancing at your phone every now and then hoping to get a message from Bucky. He’d been keeping you entertained the first half of the party until he just stopped responding.

Your friend had ditched you to take advantage of the open bar several minutes ago, so you were sitting at a table alone trying not to look pathetic. You started thinking of when an appropriate time would be to leave when the Market Manager of your job took the mic. Too late, you thought to yourself and decided to get comfortable in your seat and listened to what cheesy Holiday speech they had to give, but what you hadn’t expected was a surprise guest.  

“What the hell?” You said to yourself as you watched Bucky, Steve and Sam shake hands with one of your bosses before settling into what would appear as an acoustic performance.

How’d they manage to get in contact with your job? Who gave them the in? Bucky knew what you did for a living, but you never stayed on that subject long enough to think much about it. Then your friend slides into the empty seat next to you, a drink in one hand and a knowingly smirk on her lips, one that suggests she was definitely in on this act. You didn’t realize how long you’d been staring at her with a stupid look of disbelief all over your face until your name is echoed throughout the speakers.

It snaps you out of your trance and you focus your attention to Bucky on stage, a huge smile on his face. All formalities set aside, he highlights you and your friendship before jumping into their new single, which was widely popular right now. Normally, you weren’t one to take compliments easily, not used to so much attention, but the whole world disappeared with Bucky.

Once their little set was over, the majority of your colleagues enjoyed the performance and asked for photos, to which the guys were more than happy to appease to. Your friend had managed to escape your clutches once more, this time abandoning you for the dessert table. You’re not alone for long as Bucky occupies the seat left open next to you. You look around your surroundings, hoping there aren’t any more surprises in store, and practically attack him with a big hug.

Bucky’s chuckle is muffled, his face buried in your hair, as he wraps his arms around you to return the gesture. When you pull away, you’re almost left speechless, but you’re dying to know how he managed to get here. He was technically still on tour and this was not one of the passing by cities.

“How?” You ask.

“Hi to you too,” he said with a cheeky grin, to which you playfully slap his arm, and he responds with your friend’s name. He explained how he’d wanted to see you and how much he had to grovel for your friend to trust him. She’d helped him arrange a meeting with your boss, who turned out to be a huge fan of The Avengers, and even sneak them inside the building all under your nose. She wasn’t easy to persuade, but if she was convinced enough to work with Bucky on anything then you knew this meant something more.  

The initial notion of wanting to leave the party immediately vanished and you wanted nothing more than to just sit there in Bucky’s company all night. Steve and Sam greeted you and you never realized that this was actually the first time meeting them formally and not outside of a venue. They weren’t rockstars to you any more than you were just a fan to them. They were Bucky’s friends, of course he’d confined to them on his end as much as you did with yours.

At some point they had excused themselves to catch the last flight headed back to Brooklyn, but Bucky had decided to stay longer. When it was time to leave, you found out Bucky hadn’t planned long enough to where he would stay the night in your city. The original plan was to fly back home with the guys and pick up on the remainder of the tour. They had a few days off, but it was just a few days shy of ending, and he couldn’t wait that long to see you.

It’s funny how life works because this time you’re the one inviting him to your place. You weren’t going to blame it on the open bar or how late it was or the underlying tension that was surrounding you two, but one thing was certain, it was mutual, and you both weren’t going to deny the attraction any longer.

You’d missed the weight of Bucky’s body on yours more than you’d realized as your hands held his face, keeping his lips attached to yours. You could taste the remnants of the unfinished drink he’d abandoned at the coffee table on his tongue. Bucky’s hands hiked your leg over his waist to get you to lie flat on your couch.

You’re the first to attempt to remove clothing by popping open the buttons of his button-up shirt before completely ridding of the item leaving him in his thin undershirt. You feel his hands slide up from your hips along your back as they dig into the minimal space the arch of your back had created for him to slowly unzip the back of your dress. With your lips both still attached, you manage to sit up, your dress falling down and bunching at the waist in the process, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to see you in an outfit that would not work with a bra.

Bucky curses breathlessly when he pulls his lips away from yours for a quick breather, but in the process, he takes a peek at your half naked body. You can tell he’s just itching to touch you and you take the commanding lead and place his hands on you. The atmosphere grows thicker, him kneading your breasts, you smash your lips on his in a sloppy lock.

You push Bucky down on his end of the couch and manage to kick your loose dress all the way down your legs and off your body. Bucky’s hands travel down to the curve of your ass before he grabs a handful of flesh, causing you to moan into the kiss. Your hands rake through his styled hair, the product he used unstiffening and his hair falls limp in your grasps.

Bucky’s hands started to aid your hips in moving roughly against his clothed member, desperate to relieve some friction, and you internally blushed remembering how thick he was, how full it felt to have his cock stuffed inside of you. You didn’t remain celibate during the hiatus of your relationship, you both had urges, but Bucky had really ruined others that came after him.

Your lips drifted down Bucky’s body, kissing at the skin of his chest in the pattern following the swoop-line seam of the undershirt that he was still wearing. You skipped the expanse of his toned stomach, until you’re met with the small amount of skin that peeked between his bottoms and hem of his undershirt. You slightly lift the material up and place small pecks at his lower abdomen, which causes a low groan to rumble in Bucky’s throat.

Your fingers deftly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, with the zipper pulled apart, you’re marveling at the imprint of his hard cock, already twitching and staining his boxers. You manage to break your gaze and look up at Bucky, who is desperately pleading with you to proceed. Your eyes never leave his as you lower your head closer to his member, tongue darting out to the dark spot of his boxers, tasting the precum.

The contact causes him to squirm and lips form in a tight line. You pull down his pants and agonizingly peel off his boxers slowly, dragging it down to his thighs, just enough to expose him enough for you to work with before you wrap a hand around his length. Bucky’s upper body is supported by his bent elbows so he could watch you.

You kiss the tip of his leaking cock, a small string of his precum sticking to your lips when you pull back, to which you run your tongue over. Bucky’s head falls back just in time when your lips enclose the head, tongue twirling around the ridge and teasingly at the slit and loving the sound of his breath getting caught in his throat. You inch your mouth down his length and your vacant hand gets quick to work on what you’re not able to intake while the other runs up his exposed abdomen, your fingers curling in and lightly scratching down as it runs down to massage one of his thighs. You can feel the muscle in his thigh flex at your touch the more your head bobs up and down on him.  

A plethora of curses spew from his mouth, but the rush of sucking his cock, the gurgling of your spit mixed with his precum and occasional choking noise when your throat contracts around him, is all you can hear from your perspective. When you part from his member, you’re breathing intensifies, desperate for more air to enter your system, eyes slightly watering, lips swollen, your hand lazily slathering the wetness all over him.

“You’re so good at that,” Bucky comments and he finally manages to pick his head back up to look at you. He reaches forward to swipe at the mess on the corner of your chin, but you’re hungry for more, and you move your head to the side to suck on his thumb, eyes closed as you hum at the taste of his skin and essence.

Your soft tongue running against the pad of his somewhat calloused thumb, it pops lightly when you release the digit, a small, devious smile on your lips as you scoot away to lie on the other end of the couch. He’s almost at aghast by this, but even back then you were just always full of surprises around him and he wasn’t going to deny the appeal of your sexual allure.

Bucky is quick to get to your side, completely riding himself off the rest of his clothes - the undershirt, pants and boxers - he had dressed to impress but right now nothing more than but overdressed. He gently parts your legs, kissing up your calves and thighs, until settles between them, you can feel his warm breath fanning against your scantily covered core.

Unlike last time, you’re not afraid to watch him and he sends you a knowingly wink, quickly ascending up to give you a sweet kiss, while his fingers slip inside your panties and between your lips. Your hips eagerly thrust upwards hoping his fingers slip in.

“Baby, we got all night,” he says cradling your face in his other hand. You let out a small whine, but regardless attempt to be patient. Bucky studies your face, mesmerized by every structure and unique feature, then what felt like an eternity, but in reality, was only a few seconds, he sinks a finger inside your wet pussy.

As soon as the gasp leaves your lips, his lips swoop in and tongue instantly dipping in search of yours. The heated kiss only heightens the sensation in the pit of your stomach, your hips losing control and every buck up into his hand, your clit rubs up against his palm, invigorating it. The curl of his finger, lightly probs at the right spot inside you, you uncontrollably squeal against his lips, with a hand against his chest you gently push his body away from yours.

“Oh my God! Fuck, Bucky…” you say with your head tilting back to the curve of the couch’s arm. You feel Bucky’s lips kiss and suck at your exposed neck as his fingers continue their handy work, the lewd noises causing your eyes to roll back.

His lips find their way next to your ear, gently nipping at it, and you could just drown at the sound of his husky breathing and filthy words. “Can I taste you?” He asks. You’re not sure why he was asking, you’d want nothing less. You nod almost instantaneously before allowing him to remove your panties.  

Bucky’s hungry eyes remain fixated on your glistening core, “oh, I missed this pussy,” he comments before his tongue fondles the lips. He has a hand lying flat against one of your legs, pressed on the couch to keep them spread apart, the other blocked by his body. His routine contrasts his old with how his tongue moves in slow and calculated laps. His mouth was very talented, given whatever style he chose to play.

You’re tethering on an orgasm and Bucky wanted nothing more than to watch you come undone for him. Bucky’s fingers and tongue work in tandem and fast to help you reach a climax.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Bucky manages to ask in between, eyes peering up at you. You don’t actually answer because you can’t concentrate from the pleasure he’s bestowing and the impending release. “Good. I want you to cum. I want all this pussy has to give,” his voice hitting a different low, even his fucking voice was so sexy. Your hands clutch on fistfuls of the couch cushions when you feel the first wave of pleasure wash over your body, your hips stilled in place as Bucky laps up at your arousal.

“The sweetest thing ever,” Bucky mutters mostly to himself, but hearing that comment only feeds your ego, which never is a bad thing in an intimate setting. Your chest heaves up and down from the impact. Just as Bucky is about to crawl back up to parallel, you stop him with a foot at his chest. He grabs your small foot in his hand and blinks at your resistance.

“Sit back,” you command. He drops your foot and watches as your body maneuvers around to climb over his. He didn’t even realize his body had complied to your demand, absolutely hypnotized by you.

You lean in for a deep kiss, one that leaves his brain a mush, yours too almost that you have to steady yourself with one hand on the couch armrest. You reach a hand down between your bodies and grab a hold of his hard cock. Your fingers tracing along the vein before you start rubbing his head through your sensitive, wet folds. Bucky’s hands lay lightly on your hips, trying with all his might to not force you to take him all the way in. A large part of him liked this dominant side of you. There was so much about you he was dying to unearth.

“Baby, please…” he begins pleading as you barely press the tip of his cock just at your entrance before you slowly lower your body down to engulf his entire length. You sit still once you’re sure you’ve bottomed out, not noticing Bucky’s fingers digging into your hips, sure enough to leave crescent marks and tiny bruises.

Bucky’s face is buried in your neck, your cheek pressed against the top of his head, lost in the mop of dark hair. You feel his cock twitch inside of you causing your hips to ground on his. He was in so deep, you weren’t sure how long you were going to last in this position, but you’d be damned if you denied it.

You start with slow swivels before sliding back and forth on his cock. Bucky’s hands released their death grip from your hips, one travelled to the front to grope at your breasts while the other supported your body settling itself on the small of your back. Your hands set themselves on the back of the couch on either side of his head, using it as leverage to ground down harder on him.

“Mm, I missed fucking this big cock,” you lean down to whisper right in his ear, “you’re so deep, Bucky.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he spits out curse after curse at your dirty words. “You gonna cum on this big cock, hmm?” He asks. The question comes as a challenge and you weren’t ready to give up the ropes to him.

“Yeah, is this big cock gonna cum inside this tight pussy?” You counter the question, speeding up your gyrations until you start to feel the burn in your thighs and stomach begin to twist. He lets out a low, long growl, his eyes lulling shut and head falling back against the couch, ready to succumb to euphoria.

“No,” you say, suddenly ceasing all movements to pull at his hair. The sharp pain in his scalp causes his eyes to snap open and look up at you. “Keep your eyes on me,” you command much like how he did with you the first time. You watch him swallow the knot in his throat and give him a wicked smile before picking back up where you left off.

Your hands are sprawled on his sweaty chest as you bounce up and down his length. Bucky’s senses are on overdrive, the way your pussy naturally hugs his cock, walls squeezing occasionally, your breasts swaying right in front of him, your skin shining from the layer of sweat coating your body, and the look of immense pleasure written all over your face because of him.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he says over and over as some form of warning, hoping you’re not far behind.

The way his face contorted in ecstasy, lips parted, sweat building up on his forehead, the tip of his cock stabbing at your sweet spot, you were about to cum too. His words become a muffled mess when you attempt to silence him with a bruising kiss just as you reach your high, pussy clenching tight around his cock milking him of everything he’s got. Each spurt of his hot cum that shoots inside you causes your hips to stutter in response. Bucky attempts to keep them at bay with a hand pressed against your back, keeping your body close to him and in the process also instilling his seed is rooted deep inside of you.

“God...damn,” Bucky says short of breath when your body lies limp against his. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, you haven’t attempted to move just yet as you both sat there with his cock still buried in. When you manage to sit up, you stare back at Bucky with tired eyes, but there’s a smile on both your faces. It only slightly falters at his next words.

“I love you,” he says earnestly. Thankfully your silence doesn’t bother him, “...you don’t have to say it back,” he adds, “I just wanted you to know. You’re so special,” he proclaims and your heart leaps at the very admission. You only nod for now but give him another reassuring smile because in time you knew you could allow yourself to love Bucky and be loved by him in return. It wasn’t a conventional meeting, but this was your life, not everyone else's.

When you finally manage to pull yourself off his cock, it slips out fluidly with a trail of his cum following in suit. You knew you’d curse yourself later on, but you’re both too tired to clean the mess right now. The pair of you settle into a lying position, facing one another, encased in each other’s arms. It’s a moment of bliss as you both just lie there, his eyes closed and a smile seemingly permanently etched on his face, only around you.  

“Hey Bucky,” you pipe up breaking the silence. He hums in response, “I want to know something...” you start out with.

“Anything,” he says, eyes still closed, his hand running up and down your arm, an indicator that he’s present and listening.

“What happened between you two?” Curiosity getting the best of you once more, you’re hoping this doesn’t ruin the moment, but you had to know. What went wrong? Besides, if this was going to work, he was going to have to be honest.

“Uh, she saw something on my phone…” he said cautiously, “...that involved you.” Your eyes widen at that. It couldn’t have been the sex tape you hoped.

“Bucky, no!” You gasp, sitting up and just hoping he doesn’t confirm it.

“Relax!” He says pulling you back down with him, “She was psycho. She went through my texts and saw some of the photos we used to send to each other. She must’ve thought they were recent.” He explains like it was no big deal.

Your heart stops racing slightly, you’re a bit relieved that she didn’t go as far as posting any of the photos on the Internet. You knew you were risking it by sexting with Bucky, but what was that saying? Hell hath no fury…and in a blind rage, she lashed out only on Bucky, but if she was a psycho, who knows what else she might’ve found on Bucky’s phone.

“Bucky?” you figure you might as well know now.

“Yeah…”

“What did you do with that sex tape?” You’d been dying to know if it was safely stored away or if maybe he even still watched it or just deleted it.

A big toothy grin spreads across his lips, his pearly whites on full display as he laughs at the question before he reaches over to the table next to the couch, where his cell phone rested on.

“Want to make a sequel?” He asks suggestively with a smirk on his lips and waving his phone at you, to which you playfully attempt to snatch from his grasp. He’s too quick, but nonetheless he replaces the phone in its original spot before focusing his attention on you alone.

“You don’t think this is all weird?” He questions almost hesitantly while tracing the outline of your jaw delicately. You’re not thinking that at all. You’d both been through a lot during the last few years that the only thing that was normal now was what you both had.

You shake your head in response, too tired for words, and drowning in the blissful moment. Bucky nods before declaring, “good because you make so happy,” then ending the night with sweet kisses. 

“Hey, it’s me. I know you’re busy at the studio today...” you start, cell phone pressed against your ear. You’re attempting to leave a voicemail to your boyfriend, who was expecting your arrival later that day, “...but I just wanted to assure you that this isn’t weird, and I can’t wait to see you...I love you, Bucky,” you finish up the message and stuff the device into your bag just in time to hear the voice of the airline staff making the pre-boarding announcements booming loudly from the speakers.  

Now boarding Group B for flight #107 to JFK Airport...final destination Brooklyn, New York.

A/N: We’ve been in quarantine for so long, I don’t remember how airport announcements are like anymore and I was only in Brooklyn last Spring…RIP to the good times.

A happy ending was weird to write in the end and I actually don’t like this particular Bucky so it could’ve gone really bad, but I said to myself, no, not this time, I can do what the title says and let them be just that - happy. I too can be happy if you give this a like, reblog or comment! Thanks for reading!  

[infinitysgrace]

Adrien and Lila mirror meta

ok fine 

Alright, let’s do this. Let’s talk about Adrien and Lila’s weird as fuck chess game that was Season 3. 

With Lila and Adrien mirroring each other, Season 3′s arc with Lila goes from “Adrien learning how dangerous Lila is” to “Adrien just not being threatened by her and he and Lila are just playing the weirdest game of chess ever, and Lila got outsmarted.”

Chameleon. Something’s different from the last time they’ve interacted back in Volpina. Now he can tell when she’s lying to him, and she knows that he knows as well because he flat out tells her as much. At this point, he knows that making giant angry call out scenes about her lying will make her upset and get her akumatized. So what does he do? He tries being nice about it. He gives her an out with no consequences and the only condition was “please don’t lie to me,” and what does she do? Gets akumatized and goes after him in particular. 

He learned three things by the end of this episode from all of this. He learned that direct confrontation doesn’t work with her at all. he learned that she lied to Ladybug earlier that episode when she said that she wouldn’t lie and pretend to be someone she isn’t to get people to like her. He gives the first part of this to Marinette to help her, she takes the advice and what happens? Lila gets caught in one of her lies, her hold on Marinette was shaken, and uh... this meme:

anyway I digress 

The third thing he learned was that she will play into her own self destruction if she keeps this up, which is something he warned her about earlier in the episode but actually saw in the classroom scene at the end. 

With Lila and Adrien being mirrors this episode becomes less about Marinette battling against Lila while the whole class is blind to what’s happening, and it turns more into the set up of these two setting up their pieces up. Lila chooses to keep lying, and for the first time it blows up in her face while Adrien chooses the truth, stands by Marinette, and gets his seat next to Nino in class back. This is the point where they’ve started the game, but neither of them know how it’ll go. At this point, Lila doesn’t know that he’s playing at all, and Adrien doesn’t know how far she’s willing to go yet, but that changes in... 

Oni-chan. I don’t have nearly as much to say about this episode as I did with Chameleon (that’s a lie). 

We start this episode with Lila for once, we see that she’s alone in the morning and her mother won’t be home until late while her mother’s voicemail tells her everything she needs while she’s gone. This is different than usual because normally when we see a kid being alone while their parent more accurately their parent’s mouth piece to them is relaying information about their day in the beginning of episodes, it’s Adrien. And then, it only makes sense that when Nino sees her down he asks her what’s up because he’s seen this before, and giving Adrien someone to talk to helped him so there isn’t a reason for him to think it wouldn’t work with her. But, Lila already chose her course back in Chameleon. She chose to lie, and it’s cemented here when she lies to Nino instead of opening up about it. 

Moving on, Adrien at this point hasn’t realized how far she’s willing to go to get what she wants, and still hasn’t by the time she lies herself into the hell house by potentially putting him in a situation where he’ll get scolded by his father and Nathalie. He lets it go (for now), but keeps in mind that Nathalie and Gorilla got in trouble because of it. He’s going to use that later.

Now we’re getting to Kagami’s akumatization, and what Adrien says to her when she shows up at his window. With mirrors in mind, Adrien’s excuses for what she does “she’s not dangerous she just craves attention” and “Maybe she’s just looking to be less lonely” before with Plagg aren’t just excuses anymore, they also serve as an view of how he genuinely views the situation with her. That’s why it’s important that he NEVER retracts those statements even after he has a better understanding of her. Suddenly it goes from “Adrien being naive and oblivious to the damage she’s doing” to “He's figured it out and he still genuinely does not view her as a threat despite everything she’s done up to this point” by the end of the episode.

From his perspective, he’s not dealing with anyone that he hasn’t dealt with before, and that makes sense. He was raised with Felix and Chloe, and his father is Garbage Agreste, and that man eats gaslighting for breakfast. Why would a more obvious and less experienced version of him be a threat to his son?

We end this episode with Adrien scolding her at Cat Noir, and warning her as Adrien not to mess with people he cares about, and it’s a warning that Lila blatantly ignores and doesn’t take seriously. She messes with Chloe, which Adrien never finds out about and then...

We get to Ladybug (the episode).  

Putting the episode right up next to Chameleon, you can really see how they match up and how very different the circumstances are. Ladybug is the episode we find out why he doesn’t consider her dangerous. We go from Adrien having a vague understanding of how she operates and trying to keep others from her crossfire to him actively knowing what she’s doing and figuring out how to successfully work around it. 

Like, really think about the fact that she is so not a threat that he confidently tells Plagg that he’ll help Marinette later meaning he already knows what he’s going to do at this point, it’s only a matter of when. They’ve been playing the game this whole time, and at this point Lila still doesn’t know he’s playing it. She still thinks she’s in control, and hasn’t realized that she made a mistake. She still doesn’t realize that he isn’t a pawn in her game, but is actually the person she’s been playing against this whole time, and Adrien uses that to figuratively back her in a corner by the end of the episode.

I’ve made SO many posts about Adrien’s threat at this point that I’m just gonna summarize it if you don’t mind. 

Adrien threatening Lila was just as much a surprise to Lila as it was to a lot of the people seeing this episode for the first time, and the same thing applies in both cases: it shouldn’t have been. Ladybug (the episode) is Lila realizing that he understands how she works and understands how to manipulate that if she steps out of line again. The episode is her realizing she has to be more careful if she doesn’t want Angrien over here ruining everything because his word has more weight than hers, and it always will, and now she has to consider that he will use it against her if she fucks up. She was once again the player of her own self destruction from keeping up on her path of lies and Adrien once again watches it happen just like in Chameleon but this time he’s actively making sure it happens instead of just watching it from the back of the room.

Anyway, idk how to end this, but uh... yeah. That’s all I’ve got.

[dragon-of-dreams]

Puzzling

My Masterlist

Part 5 to Cracking a Code

1;  2;  3;  4

Pairing: dark!Steve Rogers x Reader (fem)

Warnings: Swearing, gaslighting, stalking, aftermath of noncon, noncon touching, caregiving, but like by Steve, so not really, self-harm references (previous chapter, not premeditated), discussion of eating

Summary: Steve takes you home to “take care” of you.

A/n: I’m not super happy with this chapter… and maybe I’ll redo it sometime in the future, but I just wanted to give you an update. Sorry, that everything takes so long!

Word count: 2,300

The rest of the drive passed in a blur. Steve’s hand hardly left your thigh and you let him. You were so exhausted, you didn’t have the energy to fight him off anymore. You felt yourself retreating into your body, away from the reality of being groped in the fancy sports car of America’s bravest hero.

Steve helped you up the steps to your apartment. You’re entire body was shaking, leaving you on unsteady feet. If you didn’t know better you’d say you were coming down with a fever. But the reason for the shivers coursing through you was so much larger. Not something a few pills could fix. Steve gently led you into your home, almost as if he owned the place, deposited you on the couch, and covered you in a blanket. As he tucked you in, his hands respectful and his touch kind you surfaced for a brief second out of the hole of despair his comment in the car had put you in.

“There you are, angel.” Steve smiled as he noticed how your eyes started to focus a bit. “I’ll make you something to eat. I’ll be right back.” With that, he leaned in and placed the gentlest kiss on your forehead, before retreating to your kitchen. You watched him rummage around in the tiny space adjoining your living room. He looked at ease, at home, and oh so loving. Did yesterday really happen? you wondered. There they were again. Those thoughts you had to brandish all day yesterday as well. You started to stare off into the middle distance; once more slipping away from reality and the physical pain left in your body. You heard Steve tut slightly, the fridge door opening and closing, then the same sound from a bunch of your cabinet doors. Just as you wanted to call out to him, to ask if he needed help, a robotic response drilled into you by your mother, Steve appeared before you almost as if out of thin air. His gait as silent as any other predator’s.

“Darling,” he sounded concerned, “did you eat yet?”

You looked up at him, doe-eyed. “I.. uh… I must have. I have some overnight oats in the fridge, so if there are only three glasses in there, then yeah.” To be honest you couldn’t remember, nothing made sense.

“There’s four, darling… You really gotta eat breakfast! It’s important to keep your strength up, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah… I usually do. I promise” Why do I not wanna make him sad? Why do I want him to be proud of me? You thought bewildered, as you looked into Steve’s worried eyes before all semblance of structured thought left you again to the tide of confusion washing over you and pulling you under.

“Ok, babe, I trust you. I’ll make some now, okay? You just sit tight.” All you could do was nod. It was like it was all happening to someone else. You weren’t really here. You were so far away and so present at the same time that it hurt.

As Steve left you your mind went to war with itself.

Steve wasn’t a good guy. He wasn’t the hero on those posters, was he? But he was making you breakfast, he tucked you in. He sent Bucky to check on you. No… No, he sent Bucky to make sure you didn’t go to the police. Right? Right.

You could feel your mind shut off, drawing you down with it. All that happened, Steve’s non-linear behavior pushing you over the edge. Nothing made sense.

You barely noticed as Steve fed you breakfast, bite by bite, all that registered somewhere deep within you was his calm, deep guiding voice: “One more bite, there you go, good girl” all his encouragement mushing together in your brain, a soothing sensation flowing through your pain-addled brain.

After breakfast, you could feel Steve manipulate your body, as he wrapped himself around you and put on your favorite movie. As you lay there engulfed in the arms of this giant man, accompanied by the sounds of the movie you had watched a million times, you slowly started to become aware of yourself again. The body heat was so soothing and Steve’s deep humming voice pushed the fear that had kept you paralyzed further and further away. Making way for a seething rage, fickle but growing. As you tensed and readjusted your limbs Steve leaned forwards and kissed your temple. “I knew you were still in there, angel. I made some tea. It should still be hot. I put it in a thermos. Let’s talk okay?” Steve carefully helped you sit, every touch his, stoking the anger burning through you. Then, oblivious to the shift in your mood, he got up to grab the tea and cups as you looked around as if you were seeing your place for the first time. It no longer held the feeling of safety that comes with any good home. All you could see was Steve controlling you, in the TV that was slightly turned, the smell of his cologne on your couch, the dirty pans in the sink.

When Steve came back, your head was much clearer and you carefully reached for your cup and made sure to keep your distance from Steve as subtly as you could. Whatever was to come, was going to be important.

“You know darling, you will have to be nicer to Bucky. He’s only trying to help when I can’t be there. New York is dangerous, always has been. No one knows that better than me and Buck. He texted me, saying you were really rude on the train this morning, and quite frankly, darling, I’m disappointed that I even have to say this, but you have to appreciate what we do for you, okay?” Steve’s voice is calm, collected, and rational. There is nothing but honest concern in it for a moment it disrupts the anger building within you. “It’s time to play nice with Bucky now, okay? Be nice to him, maybe even as nice as you have been for me, understand?”

It’s the last sentence that sets you off, Steve’s expectant gaze, belittling you, that makes you blow your lid.

“What? What are you talking about? Play nice? I wasn’t being nice to you! I don’t want your protection or your attention, or Bucky’s for that matter!” Your voice is rising, as you grip your cup of tea so tight its heat sears your palms. “Get out of my life!” you yell. Then like a bucket of cold water realization sets in. Every muscle in Steve’s body tightens, you see his body expand with the change, looming over you, blacking out the window. You expect Steve to yell, beat you up, but when you dare to look up at his face, it is almost passive, but there is danger burning beneath his façade.

“I understand this is difficult for you.” Steve’s voice turns harder with every word. You notice the missing pet name like a slap to your face. “But I am getting pretty tired of this conversation. You need to rain in that attitude of yours, okay? Because I won’t tolerate you being a spoiled brat who doesn’t see what’s best for them. I’m looking out for you here, taking care of you, something you apparently struggle with,” with that Steve gestures at the remnants of your breakfast, the one he had to make for you, “and all I expect in return is some gratitude, towards me and towards Bucky. This is not up for discussion. And if you can’t behave, you’ll have to deal with the consequences, young lady. Is that understood?” By the end of his speech, Steve has risen to his feet, towering over you, his voice booming to fill your apartment, while you cower into the sofa. Your breathing is shallow and you are petrified. It feels too much like last night. When you didn’t have a choice either. And everything he was saying was making sense. New York was dangerous. And you really were terrible at feeding yourself correctly… Those oat thingies were just the newest thing you were trying in your never-ending quest to live more healthily… Usually, your job took preference over clean living. And Bucky hadn’t done anything to you either. He’d just been there to watch out for you… Steve, well… Steve really had done that, but he also held you today, when your brain shut down and made you food. He could have just left you at work, where you surely would’ve gotten nothing done or even caused trouble if you fucked up your work…

Shakily you nod and watch some of the tension leave Steve’s body and he crouches down in front of you. “Good, I knew you were smart like that. Now we can either go have a bath and soothe your body or you can freak out again and then I swear I’ll make you bear the consequences of your behavior for real this time. So what’s it gonna be, princess?”

You stare at him for a second. How is he so rational? Why does this all make sense? Authority has always been your weakness, and so you just nod because what the Captain says goes, and you learned that the hard way, and let Steve lead you to the bathroom. Maybe you will get to lay in his arms again and hear him praise you. It felt so good when he held you on the couch. You were safe in his arms. All you want is to be back in his embrace. Where the harsh reality can’t hurt you. So you allow Steve to strip you down, as hot water pours into your tub.

Suddenly Steve’s grip on your hip tightens painfully, as yanks your jeans off of you. You look down, scared, and find him staring at the bruises you must have caused yourself in the shower this morning when you were trying to wash the night away. “What is this? Explain, now!” he seethes and turns his scorching gaze towards you.

“I, when I showered, I, I just wanted to get clean…” you stammer.

“Clean? Clean! You hurt yourself! Jeez! How dare you do something like that to yourself? I really can’t let you out of my sight for one second, can I? Gotta watch you like a little kid!”

You feel a pang in your heart. You weren’t trying to be bad! You want to tell Steve, but he just turns off the water, grabs your upper arm, and drags you from the bathroom into your bedroom. As you stumble after him, you try to figure out what is happening.

“Steve?” you plead as he sits down on the bed and puts you over his lap.

“No, darling, not anymore. I have been way too kind to you so far, but apparently, the nice approach doesn’t work with you. So discipline is what you get.” He thunders, and then his hand is hitting your bum with enough force to make you scream. It happened so fast that your head is spinning.

As you lie across his lap everything felt like it’s wrapped in cotton. So much skin-to-skin contact fries your over-worked and touch-starved brain into submission as Steve’s hand is raining down on your ass, painting it crimson. You burst into tears without any control over yourself. “Steve,” you sob, “Steve please, I didn’t mean to, I swear, Steve!” and just as those words leave your mouth, he stops, picks you up, and hugs you close. Your nerve endings sing at the close contact and you sag into him, all tension leaving your body. His hands draw soothing circles on your back as he holds you tight.

“I got you baby.” Steve whispers as he settles you on the bed, “I know that hurt, but I needed you to see, you know?”

You cry and nod, burrowing into his hulking form hovering over you.

“I’ll make it better baby, I’ll make it all good, now,” Steve murmurs, as he leans in to kiss your forehead, while his right hand comes down and starts to play with your clit. “Oh darling, look at you! You’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Only then do you register the slick coating your thighs, embarrassed you want to turn from him, but Steve cages you in. “It’s okay babe, no reason to be shy about it. There is nothing wrong with wanting your man. Really, it just shows that you understand my discipline with you. I’m real proud of you, angel, real proud.” He mutters as he spreads your lips and slips two fingers in. You can’t help but moan and arch into him.

Steve is nothing but kind and soft with you as he readjusts both of your bodies until he sinks into your heat, and you both moan in unison. “There we go, darling. See how good I can be for you? There we go.” As he starts moving, slow and deep within you peace settles over you. “I’ll make you forget all that pain, babe, it’ll all be gone in just a minute now.” His fingers are rubbing circles around your clit while he keeps murmuring sweet encouragements into your ears as you climb and climb towards an orgasm that is so deep that it leaves you boneless in Steve’s arms until he finishes with a broken grunt deep inside of you. As Steve settles you in his arms after you can’t remember the last time you felt this sated, as you drift into a deep sleep with Steve’s spend slowly trickling out of you. For a split second, before you fall asleep the horror of what is happening to you is clear in your mind, but then, thankfully, once more your exhaustion pulls you under.

[marauders-venting]

Gay Secrets and Fabulous Hair

pairing: jily (james x lily), wolfstar (remus x sirius)

genre: fluff FLUFF FLUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFF

warnings: minor panic attack

words: 4508

“What’s up, Evans?” Sirius said, coming into the common room and sitting on the couch beside Lily.

“What? Oh, nothing,” she said.

“Come on, spill,” Sirius said. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just Potter—”

“Ah, got James on your mind now, have you?” Sirius said, smirking.

“Shut up, Sirius,” she said, but she blushed and looked at her hands, giving her away entirely. “He’s just getting on my nerves is all.”

“Hmm, what did he do this time?” Sirius asks.

“Ok, this is going to sound dumb. But he won’t shut up about his hair and it’s giving me a headache. He’s just so self-absorbed. It was fine when I hated him because I didn’t have to listen to him rambling on about it all the time but now that we’re actually friends… it’s quite irritating.”

“Yeah, he hasn’t shut up about his hair for about seven years. Although I suppose I’m being a hypocrite right now cause, let’s be honest, neither have I.”

“True, true,” Lily said. “It just annoying, you know?” But she had a small smile on her face. She tried to hide it but Sirius saw it. He knew Lily fancied James. It was beyond obvious. But while she refused to admit it he could still have some fun, couldn’t he? Besides, it wouldn’t be long before Lily and James got together. He should take advantage of this opportunity before it’s too late. And he just had the perfect idea.

“You know,” he started, grinning mischievously at Lily, “we might be able to fix that.” Lily turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“I’m listening.”

---------

When James wakes up the next morning, Sirius is still asleep. Predictable. He changes and goes downstairs to breakfast but before he leaves the common room, a new notice on the noticeboard catches his eye.

Society for Witches and Wizards with Hair More Fabulous Than Life Itself

Exclusive invitations will be given to those with outstanding hair by tonight

If you wish to join and were not given an invitation, you may come to the auditions that will be held over the next two days and we, Lily Evans and Sirius Black shall decide if your hair is spectacular enough to join our club.

Again, it was predictable that Sirius would start a society for people with fabulous hair. But Lily? She was always going on about how James was too self-absorbed. This seemed pretty hypocritical. Although, in all fairness, Lily did have fabulous hair. James Potter, of all people, would know that.

All day, James waited for Sirius or Lily to invite him to join their society but neither one of them mentioned anything. Lily invited Marlene at lunch and she accepted, giving Lily a bewildered look until Lily whispers something in her ear and they both giggle and keep whispering together. James edges closer to where their sitting and tries to be as quiet as possible. Lily’s laugh was the most angelic sound James had ever heard and every time he heard it, it filled him with a sense of warmth and bubbly happiness and excitement. He knows that Lily doesn’t like him like that but he can’t help treasure these moments where he can appreciate all the little things about her that somehow nobody else seems to notice. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes.

James didn’t want to be in love with Lily. Loving someone who could hardly stand you was painful enough, but to become friends with her and realize that she’s more incredible than you could’ve ever imagined… that was a type of hurt James never thought he would experience. No, James did not want to be in love with Lily Evans. But it baffled him that there were people — living, breathing people who existed in this world — who had not fallen in love with her. James thought it was unavoidable.

He didn’t tell Lily any of this, of course. James had asked Lily out but she had turned him down. And that was it. He respected her decision. But that didn’t mean he could fall out of love. Because he was sure that it was love that he felt for Lily. True love or soulmates or whatever you want to call it. But this was it. This was the real deal. The only trouble was that it was only real for James.

It was nearly eleven at night when James finally asked Sirius about his invitation. He had given up waiting for either him or Lily to approach him and decided to just ask Sirius.

“I mean, I know we share a room but don’t you think you’ve waited a little too long?” James said. “Marlene got her invitation at lunch.”

“Um, Jamie, I don’t know how to break this to you but…” Sirius started, “you weren’t invited.”

“What?” James said. “But I have spectacular hair!”

“Just… come to the auditions tomorrow if it means so much to you, ok mate?” James merely shrugs.

The next day James still hasn’t decided if he wants to audition. On one hand, he knows he’ll pass the audition because, well, have you seen his hair? But on the other hand, he doesn’t want to give Sirius the satisfaction of knowing that James actually cares about his hair. Because he was sure that Sirius didn’t invite him on purpose. What other reason could there be? It certainly wasn’t because of James’ hair. That he was certain of.

It’s during lunch that James makes up his mind, after discovering that both Mary and Dorcas auditioned.

“They score you out of ten,” Mary explained to him. “I got a 7 but they said that isn’t a high enough score.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mary, you have beautiful hair,” James reassured her. Mary smiles at him like he’s a little kid.

“Thank you, James. I don’t really care, to be honest; I was just curious to see what they’re doing,” she says shrugging. “What did you get, Dorcas?”

“I got a nine,” Dorcas said.

“Good on you,” James says, clapping her on the back.

“Thanks, James,” Dorcas said laughing. “Are you going to audition?”

“Probably,” James said, shrugging. He tries to look nonchalant but he’s determined to go now.

When James finds the classroom that the audition is being held in, he knocks on the door.

“Come in,” says Lily’s voice. She and Sirus sitting behind a desk with quills and parchment. James enters and stands in front of their desk.

“Ok so how does this work?” he asks. “Do you just score me now or…?”

“Potter, you get a two out of ten,” Lily says, writing something down on a piece of paper. “Not nearly close enough to join. You’re dismissed.”

“What?! How? I have the best hair out of all of you!”

“Because Potter, your hair is messy and sticks up in odd places and it looks like you’ve never bothered to run a comb through it in your life,” Lily says.

“Sorry mate, she’s right,” Sirius said. He’s got a hand over his mouth but it’s clear he’s laughing.

“Wha— I… fine,” James grumbles. He points a certain finger in their direction and stalks out of the room, outraged.

---------

“Remus!” Remus turns around at the sound of his name and sees James walking towards him.

“Oh, hey James,” Remus says.

“Hi, Moony, my new best friend,” James says, swinging an arm around him. Remus looks at him suspiciously.

“What did Sirius do?” he asks.

“What makes you think Sirius did anything? Can’t a guy decide that no longer want a… a… annoying person as their best friend?”

“Really? Annoying person? That’s the best you can do?” Remus says, rolling his eyes.

“Give me a break, I’m not used to actually insulting Sirius,” James muttered.

“So what did he do?” Remus asks again.

“Did you hear about his and Lily’s Society for fabulous hair?”

“Oh yeah,” Remus said, laughing. “Oh. Did you not pass the audition?”

“It’s so unfair!” James bursts out. “I mean you and I have perfectly good hair.”

“Um, James…. I was, um, I was actually invited,” Remus mumbled.

“They invited YOU?!?!?!” James exclaims. Remus holds back laughter and nods. Benefits of fucking one of the founders of the society, I guess, Remus thinks. He nearly says it out loud but stops himself. James goes on to ramble about his hair but Remus isn’t really listening anymore. He’s thinking about Sirius (no surprises there).

If Remus is being honest with himself, he’s tired of sneaking around. He loves Sirius. He loves Sirius more than anyone. And he wants people to know it. He’s not saying they should go around broadcasting their relationship but being able to hold hands in public or make jokes (such as these) around their friends would be nice.

His whole life Remus had done nothing but hide his identity. When his friends found out he was a werewolf it was an enormous weight lifted off his chest. When he told his friends he was gay, not only were they all incredibly supportive, but it had given Sirius the courage to come out to Remus as well. That was how they got together in the first place.

Neither he nor Sirius had been ready to share their relationship with the rest of their friends back then. But Remus was ready now. But he didn’t want to push Sirius into anything. Sirius wasn’t out to their friends and if his family ever found out the consequences could be dire, even though Sirius no longer lived in Grimmauld Place. And Remus wouldn’t risk Sirius’ safety for anything. When Sirius was ready he would tell him. And Remus would wait. He’ll wait as long as it takes. He’d wait forever. Because nothing can compare, nothing can even come close, to the all-consuming happiness that Remus feels when he’s with Sirius. And he wouldn’t give that feeling up for the world.

---------

But Sirius was becoming tired of being closeted too. He used to be so afraid of leaving the closet. He felt the fear in his bones; it would make him shiver. It had been a safe place for him. Safer to hide his feelings, to bury them, than to risk his family finding out. Or worse, his friends finding out and hating him. But now the closet felt small and suffocating. Sirius was tired of hiding who he was. He was tired of it. When he was with his family he wore a mask of confidence and rebelliousness to protect himself. But when he was with his friends he had always been himself. Unapologetically himself. Keeping a secret this big from his friends, especially from James, felt weird and unnatural. But the threat of his family hung over his head like a vulture, waiting for the perfect excuse to strike, not only at him but at the Potters now too. And Sirius was afraid that this would be just the excuse they were waiting for.

---------

Lily and Sirius kept up the society for a couple of days before deciding that they had dragged it on long enough. They told the few people who had joined that they had been playing a prank on someone and thanked them for playing a vital part in it but it was over now.

Later that night, Lily was in the library working on her Charms essay with her friends, although they were doing more talking than working.

“Ugh, Lily, I can’t do this,” Marlene complained. “Please help me.”

“I can’t, Marls, I’m sorry,” Lily said, checking her watch. “I have prefect rounds soon.”

“You mean Head Girl rounds,” Alice corrected.

“Eh, it’s the same thing,” Lily said. “They’re equally boring.”

“Really? Even when you get to spend all that quality time with James Potter,” Dorcas said, winking at her.

“Shut up,” Lily said, blushing.

“Speaking of spending quality time with your crush—” Mary started.

“He is not my crush!” Lily insisted.

“You don’t really think we believe you, do you Lils?” Alice asked. Lily sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” she said. “I like him and I would also like to not make a big deal of it. You were saying, Mary?”

“I was just going to ask where Remus is,” she said. “He could help us with this essay if he wasn’t… preoccupied.”

“Yeah, he and Sirius disappeared after dinner,” Marlene said, smirking.

“Yeah, they’re not fooling anyone any more than you are Lily,” Dorcas said.

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” Lily insisted. “Am I?”

“Not quite,” Dorcas said, laughing.

“But that’s not saying much, Lils,” Marlene said.

“Ugh, now I really have to go,” Lily said. “But I can check your essay later if you want me to Marlene.”

“Lily, you’re an angel. I love you. Seriously, thank you so so much,” Marlene said, hugging Lily.

“Of course,” Lily said, laughing. “See you guys later.”

She hurried back to the Gryffindor common room to put her books away and find James. The first sign that something was wrong was that James wasn’t waiting to greet her at the entrance. Every day without fail, James would wait for Lily to be ready for their rounds, unable to hide his excitement. But today she finds him sitting alone in the common room, biting his nail and doodling on a piece of parchment while staring into the fire, seemingly absent-mindedly but Lily can that something is bothering him.

“Ah Potter, don’t be so upset about the hair thing, ok?” she says, coming up from behind him and ruffling his hair flirtatiously before she sits on the couch beside him. “It’s nothing personal. Well, actually no, it’s very personal but it’s all just a joke, right? It’s over now anyway. We called it off.”

“What?” he asks, looking at her. “Oh, yeah. I mean, no that's not why… you know what never mind.”

“What is it?” she asks.

“It doesn't matter,” James replies.

“Potter, something is obviously bothering you. If it didn’t matter you wouldn’t be thinking about it. What's the matter?”

“Fine,” James says. “It’s… I’m worried about Sirius.”

“Sirius?” Lily asks. She was confused. Sirius seemed fine to her. Happier, in fact, than he had been all of last year. Happier than he had been in a long time. She had thought that this was because he had left his family and moved in with James over the summer. But perhaps James had seen something that she hadn’t. “What about him? He seems fine, doesn’t he?”

“He seems fine,” James says. “But he keeps sneaking around at night and disappearing during the day—”

“Isn’t that custom for you two?” she asks, smirking.

“Yeah for us. But now he’s going alone. And every time I ask him about it he has the worst cover-up stories. I mean, there’s only so many times you can go to the bathroom in one day. I’m worried that he’s… I don’t know. He’s never done this before. I don’t want him to do something stupid and get himself hurt.”

“When you say sneaking around and disappearing… do you mean when he goes with Remus?” Lily asks, slowly.

“What?” James asks. “I mean, I never really thought about that. I just always figured Remus was going to the library to study or going somewhere with you or Mary or Alice. Like he does all the time. I didn’t think what they were doing was connected. Do you?”

“Um, Potter,” Lily says, starting to laugh, “you are really the most oblivious shit on the planet, aren’t you?”

“I am not!” James insists. Then after a moment, “what do you mean?” Lily rolls her eyes.

“I can’t believe I actually have to tell you this,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Remus and Sirius are dating.”

“What?” James says. Then after comprehending the words that Lily just said, he jumps up to his feet. “WHAT?” Lily starts laughing.

“How the fuck did you not realise that?”

“No way,” James said. “No fucking way. Sirius isn’t even gay, Evans.” Lily just laughs harder.

“Oh god, you really are stupid,” she says. “Fine, if you don’t believe me, go upstairs to your dorm right now, quietly, and see what Remus and Sirius are doing. If they aren’t making out, I will give you five sickles. If they are, you have to give me five sickles. Deal?”

“Deal. You’re delusional, Evans.” So they shake on it and James goes upstairs.

---------

The door is locked. James casts Alohomora non-verbally and creaks the door open. And there they are. Locked in a kiss, Sirius pressed up against the wall, his shirt hanging open, Remus’ jumper on the floor. James stands there, his mouth hanging open at the sight of his two best friends making out. Suddenly they break apart.

“James,” Sirius says, suddenly and Remus whips around to face James as well.

“Holy shit,” James says. “Holy shit. Um.”

“Oh god. James, we’re so, so sorry,” Remus said. “We didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

“No, don’t be,” James said. “I’m sorry I— Sirius, are you ok?” Sirius’ whole body was shaking and his face was as white as a sheet.

“Sirius?” Remus said, turning towards him. Sirius just shook his head and bit his lip, hands trembling uncontrollably. “Come here, love,” Remus whispered. “Sit down. It’s going to be fine. I promise everything is going to be fine. Just breathe, Sirius.” James hurried towards Sirius and hugged him tightly.

“Sirius,” he said, pulling back and looking him dead in the eye, “it’s ok. I promise you, I don’t care. I don’t care if you like guys or girls or both or neither. I don’t care. You’re still my best friend. You’re still my brother. You’re still you.” Sirius nodded and he seemed to calm down a little. He closed his eyes for a moment.

“Try to breathe,” Remus said, softly. He was holding Sirius’ hand, tracing slow comforting circles in his palm. James smiled at their joined hands.

“So,” he said, as Sirius started to calm down. “You two are dating?” Sirius nodded and Remus said a quiet, “yeah.”

“So that means you’re gay too?” James added to Sirius. “Or bi? Or something else?”

“I… um,” Sirius started hyperventilating again.

“It’s ok,” James said quickly. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I just…” Sirius closed his and took a deep breath. “I’m pansexual.” James was silent.

“I–I don’t really know—”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t know,” Sirius said, nodding. “It’s ok, though, I don’t mind explaining. Basically, it means I like people of all genders. Like… I like them for who they are regardless of gender. If that makes sense.”

“Yeah,” James said. “Thanks for telling me, Pads. And I’m really sorry that I… y’know, walked in on you and freaked you out.”

“It’s fine,” Sirius said. “We meant to tell you anyway, we just…” He glanced at Remus. James nodded.

“You–you really don’t mind this?” Remus asked, biting his lip.

“Of course not,” James said. “I love you guys. You’re my best friends and I want you to be happy. And if being together makes you happy then I’m happy for you— wait, fuck!”

“What?” they asked at the same time, looking alarmed.

“No, no, it’s no big deal. Just now I owe Evans five sickles.”

“What?” said Remus. “You were betting on… what?”

“I told her that I was worried about you guys because you kept sneaking around and disappearing and she said that you’re together but I didn’t believe her. So yeah, she bet me five sickles that you two are dating.”

“Damn, I thought we were good at sneaking around,” Sirius said, shaking his head and laughing.

“You were,” James said, “but Evans is… she knows everything.” A dreamy look came across his face and Remus and Sirius exchanged a smirk.

“Proud of you, mate,” James said, snapping out of his daze and clapping Sirius on the shoulder. “You too, Rem.”

“Thank you, James,” Sirius says, hugging him, “for… you know. Being so supportive. It really means the world to me.”

“No, you shouldn’t be thanking me,” James says, hugging him back. “I should be thanking you for sharing it with me. See, that’s the problem with our world. Well, one of the many problems but those are to fix another time. Moony, come here, it’s group hug time.” Remus rolled his eyes but smiled as he joined the hug.

“Okay, um, I’ll… let you get back to… you know,” James said, gesturing towards the bed. Remus goes redder than James has ever seen but Sirius grins. James leaves the dorm and goes back to the common room, sitting down next to Lily, who is holding out her hand expectantly. James high-fives her and she rolls her eyes and smiles slightly. He fishes five sickles out of his pocket and hands them to her. She cackles.

“I told you so,” she says.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re always right and I’m oblivious and dumb.”

“Come on, Potter,” she says. “Time to patrol the corridors.”

“Ugh, do we have to?” he asks, pouting.

“Yes, Potter we have to. Stop complaining, I’ve been doing this since fifth year. And my partner got replaced with an annoying little shit so—”

“Rude!” James said.

“But true,” Lily said laughing.

“Ever heard of a white lie, Evans?” James says, smiling and standing up.

---------

They cover half the castle while making jokes and laughing, not really paying attention to whether or not students were out of bed or not until Lily decides she has to bring it up.

“Potter, what’s up?” she says.

“What?”

“What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head.

“Come on,” Lily said, poking him in the side. “I helped you with the last thing, didn’t I? You can tell me.”

“Ok. It’s just… when I walked into the dorm they were kissing. And then Sirius saw me and he completely freaked out. Like he really thought that I wouldn’t be ok with it. He really thought I would hate him or something. And… I don’t know. I mean, after everything he still doesn’t trust me?”

“James…”

“It’s stupid, I know. This isn’t even about me. And I’m not trying to make it about me, I swear. I just… I don’t want Sirius to feel like he can’t tell me stuff. He’s my best friend. I tell him everything and I want him to feel like he can do the same with me. I don’t want him to keep secrets from me because he’s afraid that I’ll hate him because of it.”

“Ok, first of all, it’s not stupid at all. I get what you’re saying. But you have to understand where Sirius is coming from, too. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. He would trust you with his life, James. He does. But usually, it’s the people we love and trust the most that it’s hardest to come out to. Because we think they’ll accept us but there’s always the chance that they won’t, you know? And if they don’t, how do you keep going from there? It’s taking a big risk. Sirius just wasn’t ready to risk his friendship with you. It means too much to him. Trust me, James, it was the same for me when I came out as bi. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. It’s that he loves you too much to be ready to risk it.” James’ eyes were watering. He turned away so Lily wouldn’t see as he blinked them away.

“You really think so?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah,” she said. “But you can ask him if you want. Ask him if you can talk about it.” James nodded.

“Thanks, Evans.”

“Any time, Potter.”

“You called me James before.”

“So what if I did?”

“You never call me James.”

“I know,” she says. “Don’t get used to it.” Then after a moment, she adds, “I still can’t believe you didn’t know they were dating. I mean you literally spend all of your time together, you share a fucking room with them for Christ’s sake.”

“How did you know?” James asks. “Did they tell you?”

“God no,” Lily says, shaking her head. “You really think they would tell me and not you?

“I suppose not,” he replies. “How did you know then?”

“Well Potter, see I have these things in my head called eyes that I use to see. And then the things that I see go to my brain, where I string two and two together. Although, I suppose you wouldn’t know about that seeing as you don’t have a brain.”

“Oh, very funny,” James says, rolling his eyes. “Really witty. Your jokes are worse than Sirius’ puns.”

“Now that’s just mean.” And they both laugh. Lily has to bite her lip to keep from sighing. Ugh, his laugh is just too cute! she thinks. God, this is so stupid! Lily knows that James likes her. She knows that. And she likes him too. So what’s holding her back? She thinks for a moment and then the answer comes to her. Nothing. In this moment in time, right now, nothing is holding Lily back. She stops walking.

“Evans?” James asks, stopping as well. “Why’d you stop? Is everything ok? ” She leans forward slowly, not breaking eye contact with James. Lily waits until she sees the realisation grow in his eyes as he realises what’s about to happen and then she kisses him. Her hands find the back of his neck and she pulls him closer as she feels his hands in her hair. And then his hands are on her cheeks but only for a moment before she feels him pull away; he’s looking her dead in the eyes.

“Is this another joke?” he asks. “Because if it is it’s not funny.” Lily shakes her head quickly.

“No, it’s not a joke,” she says. “I swear, it’s not a joke.”

“Really?” he asks, his hazel eyes lighting up.

“Really,” she replies, smiling warmly. “I just really wanted to kiss you because… I like you, Potter.”

“Is this a dream? I mean, it’s gotta be a dream, right? Because there’s no way you just—” Lily laughs.

“No, Potter, it’s not a dream,” she said. “I really do like you and we really just kissed.”

“I— I… wow,” James said. “I mean, you know I like you, Evans, I’ve liked you forever. I just never thought I’d be lucky enough for you to like me. I mean…” James sighs and cups Lily’s face with his hands. “I love you, Lily. I mean, you probably already knew that but… I wanted to say it anyway.” Lily smiles warmth spreading from her cheeks to the tips of her fingers.

“I love you too, James,” she said, moving her body into his.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks.

“Yes,” Lily nods. And he does. Lily’s heart raced in her chest as James’ lips connect with hers and she tangles her fingers in his fabulous hair.

a/n: the part where James says that he should be thanking Sirius for coming out to him and not the other way around is based on my friend’s reaction when i told her that i’m bi. so yeah she deserves credit for that cause she’s the best

also regarding the part where sirius explains pansexuality to james,, please know that i am not pan and the explanation is something that i found on the internet. obviously, every pan person has a different experience but i hope i portrayed this fairly. if something doesn’t sound quite right to you please let me know because i dont want to spread a wrong image of pansexuality! thanks

[twonderland]

are the orders open? I would like to ask for a little imagines of the leaders of the houses reacting to discovering that daring is Crewel's niece

Ooooh shoot 😂 ♥️🖤🤍♥️🖤🤍

Dorm Leaders request

♥️ You have been partners for some time now, he likes your sense of style and thinks of you like someone elegant and with good taste, also really clever, something that captured his attention. You specially had ability for potion class , memorizing everything really fast and even sometimes exempting some tests for too many extra point you got in practices

♥️ You study together, some of the students in NRC think that you two are so powerful ! It’s even intimidating sometimes ...

♥️ Until one day in potion class Divus got to your place while you where mixing some herbs and weird stuff in the cauldron, it seemed to be that something was not right ...

“OMG (y/n) what did I taught you ? The fly wings go after the gnomes nails, not before !!! Bad puppie ! “

“UUGH UNCLE !! I know it, I just didn’t want it to have such a fluid consistency, I wanted to try - blah blah blah”

Meanwhile you two were discussing Riddle that was, as always, next to you was like “wait wHAT”

♥️ After that incident he was kinda nervous, -how should I approach her now ? How didn’t I noticed ???? OMG I ALWAS CASUAL AROUND HER MEANWHILE HER UNCLE WAS PRESENT- all this thoughts crossed his mind but didn’t say anything. You were no fool and noticed it, also proceed to clarify that yes you were his niece but there was no reason he should treat you differently, after that....he relaxed.... kind of 😂

♥️ Even if he knew that there shouldn’t be any difference in your relationship, he still gets kinda nervous around his teacher, not because you are in fact his niece, but because he wants to have a good impression with Divus

♥️ Fun fact : Divus already knew you two were dating but is pretty chill about it, actually really happy that his niece is dating someone so gentle and well mannered as Riddle ☺️

🦁 This one right here , he’s a person + lion = wich means he has some really acute senses such as smell and as weird as it sounds he kinda ... felt like your smell was kind of similar to Divus ...

🦁 This kept bugging his mind for some time now until he bluntly asked you “hey herbivore, if you have done something with that old bicolor man it’s better if you tell me now or else you are gonna face the consequences” ... to what you answered really confused that you didn’t have any idea of what was he talking about, and he also was being a jerk

🦁 “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT??” “well I don’t now herbivore, maybe because hIS SCENT IS ALL OVER YOU !” “Ugh, Leona! How could you say that , he’s my UNCLE “

... 😳

Leona feels rlly stupid rn

🦁 Ashamed and confused, Leona couldn’t even process what was happening “u-uncle?”.

OK LET ME EXPLAIN, have you ever heard of how animals recognize their babies because they have a certain smell that makes them “part or the pack” ? Well, that’s what happened here 😂

🦁 Right after this happened everything made sense, your smell that was similar to Divus’s, your good fashion sense, etc. he apologized while holding you from behind, burying his face in the crook of your neck so you wouldn’t be able to notice the blush on his cheeks

🦁 Lets just say that the atmosphere of the next classes with Divus were strange, Leona is a confident young man, but this situation took him unprepared so he tries to avoid eye contact with his teacher, just give the big cat some days and he will come to his usual self 😂

🐙 He has knew it all this time 😂

🐙 no, but seriously, since the moment he met you Azul started to investigate your past, likes, abilities, after all you were the only girl in NRC and a possible client, he had the eel brothers on your back ...

🐙 The reason he has never come to talk or ask about it is because he doesn’t see the point in it, not to be rude, but he doesn’t care who your parents or relatives are, Azul likes you no matter what and if you are his profesor niece, then that’s no big deal

Until

“RAAAA LALA LA LAAAA RARA LALA LaaaAAAAA~ “ ヽ(´▽｀)/

“ASHEGRONTTO-SAN is it really necessary for you to sing throughout the WHOLE class ??? BAD PUPPIE , STAY STAY !!!!”

🐙 poor baby just wants to be good bf material and impress your uncle 🥺❤️

🐙 -is it possible to sign a contract with myself so I can become the perfect bf? - he thinks, while you are watching his serious face and somehow you feel like you know what’s he’s thinking “.....Azul, stop” 😐

🐙 You talk with him, making sure he understands that he’s in fact the perfect boyfriend. He feels more confident now that he knows he’s doing just great but that doesn’t stop him to win your uncle’s approval 😂 COME ON HE’S AZUL ! Actually, Divues comes to like him even more after he starts to doing favors such as helping him to care some papers, making sure the ingredients for the potions are in order, etc.

He’s as always really sly 😅

👑 OK

👑 Now , this is a power couple 😂

👑 SERIOUSLY like, imagine Divus’s niece walking through the corridor in high heels next to Vil FUCKING Schoenheit going to potion class just to excempt like a boss

👑 He ... suspected something when he saw you two interacting, Vil is someone really observant and actually noticed that you have some similar mannerisms to Divus Crewel, such as rising your voice when something is well done, specially potions, your fashion aesthetic, cof cof hair color cof cof Your way of speaking and laughing, your ability in potions in general, etc.

👑 The moment he asked was smooth yet he felt kinda nervous since the very thought of it was possible but nevertheless kinda awkward “darling ... is professor Divus .. a relative of yours ? “ you stoped for a sec, remembering that you never really told him about your blood relation with Divus but also noticing your bf amazing intuition

👑 “Y-yeah, he’s my uncle actually” “....I see” he’s a little bit silent, thinking about why wouldn’t you have told him earlier ? Maybe you still don’t trust him that much... he had a thousand thoughts but before he could get depressed about it you said “He’s my relative, but I never thought it was something really important to mention, after all I’m another student and I can assure you that he has never had preference for me just for being his niece !”

👑 He... actually didn’t thought about that last part, he knows you are someone brilliant and doesn’t need the help of preference of your professor even if he’s your uncle, watching the worry on your eyes he showed you a gentle smile and pated your head “ I could never think of you that way, you are perfect without any help”

👑 I think Vil would be one of the most chill bf if he knew Divus was your uncle, he gets nervous when your professor is present but is good hiding it, outside of that Vil doesn’t change his attitude towards you or Divus

☀️ This sunshine never noticed it 😂😂😂

☀️ One day he was doing schoolwork with Jamil and his friend told him “ Kalim, have you taught about what will you give to professor Divus for his birthday ? “Mm? Well... not actually, but I can think about something ! Help me Jamil ☺️” “ok, remember that making Divus happy will also make (y/n) happy” he’s not understanding what is his friend saying rn “umm... but why would that make (y/n) happy ? The present will be for the professor” “well I believe that seeing his bf giving a present to his uncle would be a good detail”

☀️ her what now?

☀️”W-WAIT A SECOND JAMIL WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!” “I said that it would be nice if you gave a present to- “ “NOT ABOUT THE PRESENT ! Is Divus (y/n)‘s uncle ?!” ...”I thought you already knew 🤨”

Devastated

☀️ Jamil has this info since the day you started dating Kalim, of course he had to knew who was romancing his master, looked for info and walla ! Look 👏🏻at 👏🏻that 👏🏻 you are Divus’s niece 😂

☀️ As I said before, it was Divus’s birthday, the day started quite normal, you two attended class when suddenly Kalim went as fast as he could to your place “(y/n) ! I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPYJUST WATCH !” You are like ...

“... uh hu .. what is happeni-“ but before you finished your sentence sunshine boy went as fast as wind again to Divus “PROFESSOR ! Happy Birthday ! I wish you have an amazing day and that this presents please you !” Confusion was clear on the teacher’s face, one second before he could even start to ask the young man what was he talking about a strong rumbling and also the sound of what it could be a stampede could be heard from the classroom

☀️ “THREE ELEPHANTS, FOURTEEN CAMELS AND SOME PEACOCKS !! Oh ! And some dancers !! The perfect present to enlighten a soul isn’t t it ? Gyahahaha ~ ! “

Meanwhile Divus had his mouth agape from the impression while he sees all his presents arriving from a window, you are in the back trying to understand the whole scenario

“KALIM WHAT IS THIS, WHAT IS HAPPENING ???!??”

☀️ long story short, the “presents” dissapeared , Divus was ... happy that his little pup thought about his birthday but was also really shocked, and well, you and your bf had to talk about this .... event. Kalim got the idea but sometimes still wants to impress your uncle

💀 Chill when he’s alone, anxiety attack when you are present 😂

💀 That was at least the first reactions he had when he met you, it’s just that your are so fancy and gorgeous... actually Idia sometimes finds himself wondering how could he get a bae that’s so WOW

💀 Idia being Idia wich means staying in his room 24/7 gave him LOTS of time to make theories about everything and anything, one of those was you. The investigation begun because he just wanted to know more about his gurl ☺️❤️ but ended pretty chaotic 😂

💀 Imagine walking throughout the corridor and when you walk pass Idia’s door you hear a what it seems to be a high pitch scream followed by other strange “human” noises

💀 YUP he discovered it 😂

💀 The next day he found out you approached him naturally, it was morning and just wanted to give your bf a nice and cute greeting ☺️💖 but when you are just some steps from him, Idia flinched... you thought it was normal since he is easily scared when he’s outside his room, but when it’s you he’s most likely to be relaxed 🤔

💀 It took him all day to ask you about your connection with Divus, it impressed you that he was actually pretty certain that you were his niece he had a whole document with photos and all that proved his point 😂

💀 Overall he listened to you carefully, Idia is a good boyfriend, let’s you speak and say everything you need to explain, you were astonished when he gave you a proud smile when you finished your story, telling you how amazing your bloodline is and that he is really lucky to have such a beautiful and brilliant girlfriend 🖤

🐉 Mal is also pretty chill about it, being the most relaxed out of all the dorm leaders

🐉 He himself has his family in NRC too, Lilia for example *you are my dad ! ~ Boogi Woogie Woggie* srry 😂

🐉 So he understands the feeling of having around relatives in school, Malleus gets interested in you even more after you bring Divus into the conversation, he admires all his professors since he a good boy ☺️💖

🐉 Also, being Divus’s niece means you have some similar traits to him which is true at some extent, he asks you about your likes for potions and Malleus listens carefully, with a tender smile on his face. He is fascinated by your aura and all the stories you narrate about Divus and you

🐉 Everything went smoothly until the next day after you have talked about your relation with Divus, you were reading a recipe to make a potion in classroom, waiting for Malleus to arrive. He was pretty puntual to all his classes, so it was kind of weird he took his time that day. The minutes passed and you began to worry about what could have happened to your bf, was he alright ? Where was he?

🐉 “Professor Divus” it was his voice, looking up from the book you saw him handling your uncle a giant green gem with a straight face

“I hope our relationship develops placidly and for the good of our beloved (y/n) we could get along well”

The entire class was like 👁 👄 👁

- What on earth just happened ?!- you thought, Divus was struggling to carry the beautiful gem, while Mall some seconds ago was holding it like it was a piece of paper. You didn’t want to embarrass or trouble your bf with more questions since all the class was watching him confused and amazed, making the atmosphere weirder than it already was

🐉 You waited until class was over to ask him what on earth happened, he told you about how dragons give a little piece of their treasures in a form of “alliance” with the beings that they think are trust worthy, and Divus being your relative... well, he wanted to get closer to him

🥺💖

🐉 You thank him and give him a bear hug, he couldn't be any more sweeter 💕

Thanks for your request

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[dilfbane]

Your Weeping(Your Need For His Touch)

Summary: When things go south on a mission, you have to confront more than just the sketchy town, cartoon villains, and one-bed hotel room you’re forced to share with Loki. You have to come to terms with not only the consequences of being captured, but also the God of Mischief’s feelings for you - Because for all that he might be an asshole, sometimes, he really does have a heart. Written for the Picture Is Worth A 1,000 Words 6k Follower Writing Challenge by @startrekkingaroundasgard 

Pairing: Loki/(Female)Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries and medical treatment, as well as discussions of the inevitable mindset around sacrificing oneself for the mission that I feel like being part of the Avengers would entail. Also swearing, because at its core, this story started out as a bit of a crack! fic. 

Word Count: 7.8k. 

A/N: So apparently when I have mental breakdowns they result in me writing crack-fic that takes a 180 veer into angst and fluff for absolutely no reason. For the sake of the crack-fic, in this timeline Loki was forced to help the Avengers take down bad guys directly after the end of the first Avengers movie, so… Is that a confusing plot hole I didn’t know how to account for except by making this AU? Maybe. Did I do it anyway?…. Yeah. This really was meant to be a crack-fic about Loki and the reader confessing their feelings set in the bizarre world of meme culture, I didn’t realize there were going to be feels in it until it was three in the morning and all of a sudden this happened. That being said, your girl went there, so enjoy! 

“Oh, shit,” You say, as you take in the grimy hotel room. The walls all smeared in what looks like dried blood, the putrid smell of rotten eggs, a crack-screened television with a fine dusting of some suspiciously white powder. And, of course, “There’s one bed.” 

“Hmm?” Asks Loki, turning towards you, briefly, from unpacking. He had dumped his suitcase(Magically plucked out of a chaotic liminal space) unceremoniously on the bed’s scratching, pilling coverlet without so much as a second glance at the rest of the room. And why do you need a suitcase, anyways?? You wonder. It isn’t like we’re planning to be here that long. In fact, you hoped with every fiber of your being that you’d be here for as little time as possible, because this town might actually be the sketchiest place you’ve ever seen in your life; no small feat, for a bona-fide member of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

You’ve kicked alien ass on a mutated purple Mongolian death-worm three thousand feet over New York City. You’ve run reconnaissance to rescue debatably-magical items sequestered away in an ancient cave labyrinth plastered in paintings and untranslatable runes, gunfire and what could only be described as the baying of hellhounds in the near distance. You’ve fist-fought a gigantic hive-mind robot in a field of artificially sentient feral steel suits - You’ve even survived Tony’s parties. 

Yet none of those scenarios hold a candle to this fucking town. 

And Loki, the asshat, seems utterly, competently - no, maniacally - unfazed. 

“There’s one bed,” You repeat, into the air. 

“Ah,” Says Loki, straightening. 

“You don’t see that problem with that?!” 

“Should I?” He asks you, walking across the room in long, graceful strides to stand in front of you. He wears the same expression he always wears, amused and indifferent, but this time with the addition of a single, elegantly-arched eyebrow. You drop your head, refusing to meet his somewhat-curious gaze. It physically hurts, how attractive Loki is. Not for the first time, you curse whatever god decided that you and him would once again be mission partners - in this case, you belatedly realize, and choke back a thick laugh, said god is, unsurprisingly, Thor. 

If you survive this, you make a note to beat his head in with Mjolnir. As it is, you are here in this room with Loki, with perhaps twenty IPP agents and a reckless poisoner dogging your every move, and there’s a high chance that you won’t live long enough to navigate whatever the hell sleeping with your crush-who-has-murdered-men. Ok, so ‘murdered men’ isn’t entirely accurate. More like ‘caused the murder of men inadvertently through his schemes’. It doesn’t seem to make much of a difference, right now. 

And what about Loki? He is still staring you down, like you’re some wind up toy moments away from going off. Funny, that, you think. If ever there were a time to not have a mental breakdown, it would be here, with him. You’ve crossed a lot of moral lines in your life, but you will be damned if you let Loki Laufeysson see you cry. Loki is graceful. Composed. Sarcastic. Lithe. Rolls his eyes at almost every statement that comes out of somebody’s mouth. But he is, also, beautiful. Shockingly comforting, in his own nihilistic way. You don’t know what it says about you that you find comfort in statements like, Try not to die, you know that I hate funerals. Part of you - most of you - doesn’t want to. But it gives you strength, somehow, to shrug off the day and ground your flailing mind in evading Loki’s calculated manipulation. I won’t show you my weakness, you think to yourself. It’s not enough, but it’s a start. 

“No,” You tell him - too quickly, he’ll pick up on that - “You’re right, you shouldn’t. It’s fine. We have - a lot to deal with, is all.” 

Loki nods, seemingly accepting your answer, but his eyes are still narrowed, watching you like he’s calling your bluff. You talk right past that look - have to, to keep yourself sane, to not think about the one bed that looms large over this entire conversation. It doesn’t even look like a comfortable bed. 

“We have two days,” You say, to stop yourself thinking of it. And, also, to talk your way through your disarmingly disjointed thoughts. Loki nods. It would really help if you said something, you think. Swallow the thought, hot and thick, down your throat. What’s the point of a mission partner if you can’t even soundboard off them? “The Pink Cobra could strike anyone, anytime. The IPP is planning something in New York - “ 

“Isn’t everyone, these days, planning something in New York?” 

He sounds regretful, and for half a second you want to offer him the reassurance that his very presence offers you. But you are sure he doesn’t know what he does to you - with his words, with the sidelong glances that you’ve felt linger on your form far too long in the heat of a fight. If you didn’t know any better, you would say Loki worries about you. 

“We have to shut him down,” You say. Focus on the Pink Cobra, because honestly, that’s easier. “Find out where he manufactures. Not get poisoned,” You add, at the end. 

“Yes,” Loki says, tone dripping with sarcasm, “We should certainly try not to get ourselves killed. Failing that, I suppose, we can at least request that no one in H.Y.D.R.A gets autopsy access.” 

“Loki?” You ask. Rhetorically. “You’re not helping.” 

He smirks at you, then. He knows. 

“What do you propose that we do then?” He asks, taking a step towards you, getting so close that you can feel his hot breath. “About the Pink Cobra?” 

“Find him.” You say, fumbling, blush rising high on your cheeks. 

Tonight? 

One bed? 

You are screwed. 

                                                             ***

When you were a kid - think really little, Capri Sun pouches and still believing that true love wasn’t complicated - your father told you that every story needed a good supervillain. You aren’t sure if the Pink Cobra counts as a good supervillain, but he’s the least confusing one that you have to deal with - and, as far as villains go, a fine enough challenge to face. He’s like a madman out of some high fantasy novel, with dark eyes and a sable-sewn cloak and a penchant for poisoning. He is adept in all the arts of the woman’s murder; he has a keen grasp on the side-effects of arsenic and camphor and tansy and cyanide and strychnine. He’s been found to have dropped crystal phials filled with belladonna and ricin while fleeing a scene. If all else fails, he’s more than practiced with daggers. 

In other words, he’s the kind of villain that none of you, with your flying suits and telekinesis and super-strength, are anywhere near prepared to waylay. 

The plan, as far as team Avengers is concerned, is easy: 

You and Loki. This town, where the webs of his manufacturing production and the few glimpses of information that Thor has totally legally excavated out of his captured minions has led to. Two days until some undefined grand attack bears down on the city you live in. Two days to find the Pink Cobra and kill him. The more time passes with no headway, the more you think that this is an impossible task, but you know what Tony would say. We have our best minds on it. 

The thing is, you aren’t sure that that’s true. The minds that have been set to this task are you and the God of Lies. It’s hardly the best they could have come up with, considering your track records. Actually, you take that back - Loki was a good choice for this mission, because, not three hours after arriving in this hellhole of a city, he seems to have somehow developed the ability to read minds. More specifically, yours. And that could prove stunningly useful. 

The scene, as it stands: Loki, sprawled across the lumpy bed, three pairs of crisp white shirts, a plaid scarf, and a full set of Asgardian battle armor neatly hung in the mothball-infested closet, flicking through channels on the grain, cracked television with an apathetic expression and one arm thrown haphazardly over bent leg. Propped up in such a way that he could jump or spin or parry at a moment’s notice, yet perfectly, devastatingly languid, leafing through Nick Fury’s dossier on the Pink Cobra. He looks at you like a god, you think, and then remember. He is one. 

You, on the floor, because on top of all the other things this hotel doesn’t have, like two beds, there isn’t anything even resembling a desk, shifting through a glowing, holographed file archive from headquarters that barely runs on your severely outdated laptop. It’s a point of pride to you, keeping the laptop - not because it’s good, but because it’s survived five years of being an Avenger, which is something not even all the Avengers can claim to have done. You’re also fairly certain that Tony’s attempts to update the firmware had infested it with some sort of renegade virus. Elevated above your screen, the files are split into two groups, the sum total of everything that you know about both of the groups that are avidly trying to kill you. 

There’s the wealth of information containing the Pink Cobra’s poisoning sprees, but those aren’t the files that interest you, and you know that Loki’s not much interested in them either. That honor falls to the fanatics at the IPP, the Imminently Predictable Psyops organization, which you know even less about than you do about the Pink Cobra, chief among which the fact that they need a new name. Imminently Predictable Psyops?, Tony had said, when you’d finally apprehended one of their proxies. What do they think this is? Some type of ARG? 

What you’ve gleaned, from months worth of studying the network, is that they operate as a sort of cringe-oriented death cult intent on ‘reshaping the universe through meme agents’. They’d been on S.H.I.E.L.D’s radar for a long time - upwards of a year - before anyone at team base learned they existed - which, you can almost hear Loki saying, was a failure in the extreme. Currently, it was your job to obsessively worry over whether they were going to send ‘meme agents’ to bust through the door of your seedy hotel room and off you both. You hated - truly loathed - how casually Loki was taking it all. 

He’s acting like nothing was wrong with this situation, when, in fact, you’re ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that this night will end up with one or both of you dead. It is, to say the least, disconcerting. 

Kill switch, the holograph files read. Cross-referential Neil Cicierega acoustic weaponry. Your mind sees the words, but doesn’t comprehend them, and you run a hand up to rub at your bleary eyes with annoyance. You risk a glance upwards; on the bed, Loki scans page after page after page with disinterested nonchalance, punctuating the flipping over of each document with a noncommittal hum; as if to say, I understand you. As it to say, This could be worse. You try to slip into that mindset. Certainly, things could be worse. 

Actually, though? Not really. 

Because, for all the world, the holo-file in front of you just said ‘Pepe The Frog Chaos Banking Laser Initiative’. 

“What the fuck does that even mean?!” 

“Sorry?” 

You whip your head around. Loki, raising an eyebrow. Damn that - perfect - eyebrow. 

“Sorry,” You echo back at him, rubbing your eyes again, perversely glad for the break, even if it is this awkward. “I … said that out loud, didn’t I?” 

“Marginally,” He tells you. “Yes.” 

“Sorry,” You - well, it’s not a whine, not exactly. You’re tired, and there’s no way you’re going to sleep tonight, so you feel like your tone’s justified. “I didn’t mean to do that. I think I’m just - this is. Completely nonsensical.” 

“Show me?” He asks, and you snort. He could totally just look up, but - 

“Do you have a P.h.d in memes?” You ask him, and, before he can answer, “Because unless you have a P.h.d in memes, I don’t think you’ll be able to help.” 

“You’d be surprised,” Loki says. Vaults over the bed with the speed and grace of a panther, filling the air with a cringing wheeze as the rusty springs bend underneath him, and landing in front of the holo-file, pushing you aside slightly to get a better view. When his fingers brush against your side, cool and firm, you flinch. 

“Tired,” You offer, when he shoots you a momentarily concerned look. “Just. Need to sleep, later, I think.” 

But Loki is already scanning the file, and when he looks up, not five seconds later, you want to hit somebody. Preferably, you think, him. 

“I would assume,” Loki says, “That they’re using time travel in order to obtain and store monetary value by way of a Pepe-the-frog inspired laser array.” 

“Oh,” You say. You blink once. Blink twice. Still have no idea what that means. “Right.” 

“Do you not know your memes, love?” He asks you, smirking. And oh, if you don’t feel things. 

“I don’t go on the internet, much,” You tell him. “Too busy, you know, trying not to get killed.”

 Loki shrugs. Sidles away from the file. The groan and squeak of those springs tells you he’s back on the bed, giving you some well-needed space, but you can’t bring yourself to look. 

“You can sleep,” He says, “If you want.” 

“Ha!” You yelp/choke/embarrassingly bleat out into the room’s stale silence. Underneath the rotten eggs, you catch a whiff of bong-water. “No.” 

“There’s a bed,” Loki says, cocking his head pointedly and patting the lumpy covers. 

“Yeah, that’s - kind of the problem.” 

“Why?” He asks you. 

“You - really?” 

“I was only asking,” Says Loki, re-focusing his attention on whichever Pink Cobra document’s next in the folder. “If you aren’t comfortable telling me - I merely thought, seeing as you were tired, you might take this opportunity to rest.” 

“Yeah,” You  tell him, “Of course, that’s - nice of you.” 

It comes out stilted. Patently off. If he notices, he doesn’t say. 

“Are you going to - um. Do you need help, with the rest? The ones I have seem kind of hopeless. I mean,” You say, when he doesn’t look up, “I don’t think that we have to worry about getting demolished by trans-dimensional Agarthian wormholes.” 

“Of course not,”” Loki says, scoffing and incredulous, gaze, you are sure, on his page. “If they wanted to kill us, they’d send someone with a gun.” 

In reality, it’s several someones. 

                                                             ***

“You jinxed it,” Is the first thing you tell him, when the men leave you. They’ve thrown you into a one-room warehouse, rickety shelves stacked with cartoonish tubs of green goop and mildewing boxes filled with grenades and machine guns and what appears, at second-glance, to be twelve-fingered latex gloves. You’re tied wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle, and your throat feels uncharacteristically parched. Fear, you tell yourself. Apprehension. “Can’t you just - use your seidr to magic us out of this?” 

If you could see him - which you can’t, because you’ve been tied back to back - you’d swear that Loki was glaring. 

“Do you - do you have a plan?” You ask, after a moment. 

“I’m working on it,” He says. 

“That’s all?” You say. “We were dragged out of our drug-dealer’s hotel room by a bunch of robed men with guns and the only thing you have to say is ‘I’m working on it?’” 

“I’d get it done faster,” Says Loki, “If you wouldn’t interrupt me.” 

“Ok,” You tell him, “No interrupting you. Got it. That’s - Alright.” 

Unfortunately, not interrupting him is easier said than done, because without the sound of your voice, you are left to your thoughts. 

The men had broken in nearly immediately after Loki’s glib, sardonic retort to your worries, shooting the glass out of the room’s already half-smashed-in window and kicking the door in simultaneously. A bit much, isn’t it?, Loki’d asked, and you had wanted to smack yourself on the forehead. Really not the time, you had hissed, but Loki hadn’t seemed to hear you. Do you do this with everyone they send you to assassinate?, he had asked, instead. The men had been dressed in long, billowing cloaks of bright red, embroidered with orange snakes framing a picture of Beaker from the muppets with early 2000’s emo hair. Chaotic meme agents, you had thought to yourself. So that’s what they’re supposed to look like. 

You hadn’t picked up, until now, on the snakes. 

“They’re working together,” You say, when you can’t stand the playback of Loki being disarmed after spinning and tossing his silver daggers at the men, of the men kneeing him in the balls and twisting your arms behind your back, holding a gun to your head to stop you from trying to fight. Waking up in the back of a van that smelled like microwaved fish. Being tossed like garbage onto the floor of the warehouse, painted in bruises and cuts from the small pieces of glass that had dug their way into your skin. “The IPP and the Pink Cobra.” 

“Obviously,” Loki says. Sharply. 

“Did Tony not -“ 

“Stark,” Loki practically growls, and, ok, you’re not losing it but that did make you jump in your skin, “Is an idiot. He wouldn’t know how to connect the dots if they were presented to him in a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode.” 

“That’s - You had that on Asgard?” You ask him, momentarily distracted. You wish that you could see Loki’s face, and are very glad that you can’t. 

“That isn’t the point,” Loki says. 

“I know,” You tell him. You’re scared that your voice is trembling. Scared that he can tell, even though he’s not facing you, how badly your fingers are shaking. Scared that he knows your worst, biggest secret - 

That, despite being an Avenger, you are anxious. That, despite him being Loki, despite him being here, and wonderfully, infuriatingly himself, he cannot help you, this time. 

You are going to die, covered in cuts and abrasions, on the floor of a meme network’s headquarters, at three a.m in the morning. They are going to come in with umbrellas that shoot poison darts or the ex-presidents Point Break masks and mow you down, and Loki has no fucking plan. You feel the ropes tighten where they’re knotted, itchy and fierce, and you have to fight to keep yourself from whining in terror and nerves. Whining isn’t what Loki needs right now. Whining’s not going to save you. 

What is going to save you, you try and remind yourself, is Loki. If you can shut up. If you can let him decipher what needs to be done. If he can figure out some way to do it before the blowtorch-wielding robed vigilantes or some disincarnate meme god comes back and draws their electronically-sharpened fingernails across your throat hard enough to split skin and sinew, send waves of blood down the front of your shirt like a river of sweet, thick red honey and toss your corpse in a ditch by a highway and - 

“Y/N?” It is foggy, barely-heard. Posh. “Y/N!” Louder, this time. There are fingers on your wrist, bent backwards to grip you. Squeezing, insistent and there. “Breathe.” 

Fuck, you think. You’d started to hyperventilate. To shake, with a full-body tremor that forecasts a great, unstoppable wave of sobbing panic. And Loki had noticed. “I need you to trust me,” He says. “Trust me to get us out of this. Can you do that for me, darling?” 

He has never called you darling before, but God how you’ve wanted him to. You feel like you’re being stabbed in the heart - because there is no way he means it, no way that this is anything other than a desperate and cruel attempt to get you to calm down. Something that belies how obvious you are. How needy you are. How pathetic. And yet - 

And yet, he doesn’t say it meanly. He speaks like he cares about you, and in the face of your impending death, you want to think Loki cares. You’d let him say anything, do anything to you, right now. More than that, though, more than any of that - as you think back to meeting him, to your blossoming late-night friendship and twitchy banter and the quiet moments you’ve shared with him in-between battles - 

“I trust you, Loki,” You tell him, and feel your breath quiet in you. Feel yourself growing still and calm with the certainty that Loki will do as he’s said. 

That you will survive this. 

That -

“Good,” Loki says. Not relieved, but determined. Leaving you no room to argue. 

“So what do we do?” You ask him. 

“Nothing,” Says Loki, and you can hear his wide grin. 

“Nothing?” You ask him, gawking.

 “Nothing,” Says Loki. He gives your hand a tight squeeze. 

And then the Pink Cobra walks in. 

                                                             ***

This will end badly, you think. It’s about the only thing that you can think, preoccupied as you are with - 

It might be easier not to - 

Fuck. 

The thing is - and you really do try not to move, not to groan, not to scream - the thing is, you thought that when Loki said he had a plan, that said plan wouldn’t involve you being collateral damage for a LARP-er who’d most likely broken out of an asylum. I wish that we could be back in that shitty one-bed hotel room, you think to yourself, and - alright, not the best timing, but it rips a laugh out of you, spiraling and unhinged, before you feel the Pink Cobra, resplendent in coral cloak and villainous swagger, slug you one in the jaw. It hurts worse than you’d thought it would - you’ve never really gotten injured on missions, you’re usually good at talking yourself out of things, which is why the Avengers keep you around. You can speak any language, as long as you’ve heard it once, and your customary daily awkwardness can shift into persuasion like flicking a light-switch on. 

Usually, though, you had an opportunity to speak, and weren’t rendered speechless by - 

Loki, if you’re being honest. How much you want to kiss him. How much of an asshole he is. Trust me, he’d asked you. Can you do that for me? The Pink Cobra’s grip is sharp and bruising on your side; he’s slipped his fingers up your shirt and is pressing the point on your side that threatens to make your knees buckle, making bile rise up in your throat, driving you wild with the aching need to flee. He has one hand clasped over your mouth, now that you’ve quieted, and you can feel something - pain, and a pill - pressed snugly into his palm. He will force it down you, you know, if Loki so much as sighs wrong. 

You’ll never trust him again. 

You wish that you knew what the time was. If you end up dying at 4:20, you’re going to throw fists with somebody in hell. 

You wish, also, for aspirin. Avengers training has left you woefully unprepared for the reality of getting punched in the face. You can already feel your jaw starting to swell, taste an egregious amount of blood. You’re pretty sure that the force of the blow knocked a tooth out. 

What strikes fear into you, though - a fear somehow deeper than the absolutely bone-chilling, blood-curdling knowledge of what the Pink Cobra might do to you - is the look you’d seen on Loki’s face in the seconds after he’d grabbed you, before it fell into practiced, amused apathy. He’d gone white, and his eyes had blown wide. His fingers had spasmed with anger. 

He’d looked as scared as you feel. 

And you have no idea why. 

It isn’t like you’re anyone special. Not any more than the rest of the team. Less so than most of them. You aren’t a god, like Loki and Thor are. You don’t have stealth-assassin training, like Bucky, or super-strength like Steve. You can’t seamlessly pilot mechanical suits over the New York skyline like Tony, or use a crossbow like Clint, or beat thirty people in single-hand combat like Nat, or change into a nitro-fueled rage machine like Bruce. 

You can’t do anything, much. 

Except, apparently, die.

You squeeze your eyes shut, not letting yourself look at him. You won’t let Loki’s disinterested face be the last thing that you see. It makes the Pink Cobra’s words all the worse, when he speaks. His voice is dark and sick and timbered, and you feel maggots crawling over your skin as he slots you closer to his body, tightening his already painful grip on you so that you can’t move even an inch away from his tensed, coiled muscles. 

“So,” He says, “You are superheroes? How long did it take me, to apprehend you? Ah - three and a half hours? Tell your boss-man, do better next time.” 

“I’ll pass it along,” Loki says. His voice sounds different. You can’t place why. Still won’t look. 

“You won’t,” The Pink Cobra says. You can feel his shoulders rise, then fall. Feel him smirk. You love Loki’s smirk - secretly delight in drawing it from him, sometimes - but the Pink Cobra’s only fills you with yet more terror. You’ve pursed your lips tightly shut against the intrusion of his hand, but when Loki speaks he forces your bruised, bleeding jaw open and shoves the pill into your mouth. The pain of your injury tears through you like white lightning and you thrash, trying to escape. A keening sound claws its way out of you, fevered and anguished, and you feel your hands, still bound up in ropes, trying in vain to push off and away. The man behind you sighs, and then aims a swift kick at the back of your knees, which sends you down before you can so much as yelp. Your knees hit the floor, and he’s holding you by your hair now, twisting it so hard that you’re almost sure he’ll scalp you. He’s pulled something - too big to be be a knife, some kind of shortsword?! - Out from beneath his cloak, and is pressing it up against the column of your throat. You feel the weight of the capsule between your teeth heavily now, and realize what it means in the split-second before the Pink Cobra bends and whispers, Your choice; stale and rancid into the shell of your ear. 

Next, he addresses Loki. 

“You’ll be wanting to know what our plan is,” He says. Our, you think. We were right. “Hmm? I know how you people are. Always wanting to know. Tell me this, Mischief Man. What will I get, if I tell you? What price are you willing to pay?” 

You know what this is. You know it like the ache in your heart when Loki brushes you off. Like the safety you feel in his arms. You open your eyes. Take in Loki’s face - he’s trying to hide, but you know, you know how he feels. You know what he’s going to choose. 

And you know that you can’t let him choose it. 

“You’ll let her go,” Loki asks, “If we let you leave here?” 

“The thing could be managed.” 

No, you think. No, Loki, don’t! Whatever the Pink Cobra’s going to do, whatever the IPP’s planning, knowing’s worth more than your life. 

“One thing I want to know,” Loki says. He’s twirling a knife of his own, a slim silver number he keeps on him at all times, and you feel the blade on your own throat start to dig in - not enough to draw blood, but enough for you to feel it. The threat of it. The promise of it, and the coldness of the gleaming metal. “You and the IPP? How does it fit?” 

“You want information from me?” The Pink Cobra asks. Lets his blade bite you, just barely, and the strength it takes for you not to scream is more strength then you’d known you possess. 

“Yes,” Says Loki. “It’s not like I’m asking for much.”

He meets your gaze. You meet his. You hope that he cannot read it. His eyes are so worried, so desperate, you nearly break down. 

“I suppose,” The Pink Cobra says, “That you’ve earned it. Getting here - getting this far - it must have been no easy task. Fine. There is no Imminently Predictable Psyops organization. They were a - what do you call it? Red herring? A scent of blood for the shark.” 

“You fabricated them,” Loki says. “Why would you fabricate them?” 

He is losing his composure, you can tell. You will never be ready for this. He will never be ready for this. You hope that he will forgive you, and you know that he never will, and you swallow the pill in your mouth. 

“Because it was fun,” The Pink Cobra says. 

And then your body knows pain. 

                                                             ***

“He didn’t think I would do it,” You say. Your mouth feels thick, clotted with blood and shock, and your body is one raw, gaping wound, but the giddy feeling of victory has begun to course through your veins. Pure, unfiltered adrenaline. You had waited for the moment of death to come, and it hadn’t. The pill is fake, your mind had screamed. But there’d been one thing left, that might work. You had breathed as slowly as you possibly could, forced every muscle of your scared, writhing body into single-minded limpness, rolled your eyes backwards into your head,  drew one last breath in, and fallen. Twitched, for a few seconds, like a rag-doll. Then made yourself still. 

Loki had slit the Pink Cobra ear to ear, beaten him within an inch of his life as he bled out, screaming like a man deranged. He’d left him a wet, bloody mess on the floor, and the blood had run down the not-quite-steady plane of it, pooling around you and mixing with the blood from your jaw, from the evening’s earlier glass cuts, from the deep, burning stab wound the Cobra had got on your arm. 

You breathe, and your body knows pain. 

You look at Loki, and your body knows pain. 

He is shaking. Visibly shaking. His hands are clenched into fists at his side, and he looks as pale as bleached bones. His eyes are shot red - he had sobbed, when you fell, and a howl had torn through his body. You don’t know what to do, what it means, what the hell even to say to him. His cheeks are tear-stained, his breaths ragged. 

You blink, and your body feels pain. 

“We won,” You croak out. “Loki, we won.” It hurts worse than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. “I think he broke one of my ribs.” 

You don’t mean to say that last part, but you do, and you are the one crying now, because it feels like he probably has, and you can barely even stay awake through this pain. It feels like the Hulk is pulling you limb from limb. Like all of those nightmares you’ve had where Loki decided to leave you - to go back to Asgard, and never speak to you again. 

Stupid, you think. He won’t, again. Not after this. 

Loki still hasn’t spoken. He’s looking at you, and his eyes are wild. Desperately, jaggedly roaming your body. His fists twitch with every new part of your body they land on. 

“That bad, huh - Oh, fuck.” 

And just like that, the tension leaves Loki’s body. The dam that had held him firmly in place is broken, and he’s running towards you with none of his usual grace. Dropping down by your side. He hoists you, and you hiss, and the tears won’t stop coming, so you bury your face in his shirt, nose pressed at the crisply ironed collar. Don’t care that it’s bleeding, because Loki’s here now. Holding you. Keeping you real. He’s got one hand stroking your hair and his touch feels right, nothing like the Pink Cobra’s, and he’s whispering: You brave, precious, idiot, how dare you, how dare you throw your life away like that?! 

“It worked,” You exhale - it’s the most you can manage. You would laugh, if it wouldn’t shred you to pieces. Loki cradles you fiercely, hands grasping at the sweat-and-blood soaked fabric of your shirt, running over you as if he doesn’t believe you’re alive. “It - hurts,” You get out. Barely. “Loki, it - I can’t -“ 

“Don’t,” He tells you. His voice has gone brittle, choked with thorns. “Don’t talk. Don’t - Don’t ever do that again. Do you hear me? You will never do that again.” 

If I need to, I will, you think. And you wonder if that’s why you’re here. Wonder if that’s why you’re strong. You wonder, and hurt, and believe. Feel the strength of him, clutching you like you’re the only thing in the world, taking in greedy lungfuls of your weeping, your need for his touch. 

You can’t talk, anymore. It hurts too badly. But you surge, upwards, up into where he’s holding the back of your head, pressing your forehead into the dark, warm space under his jaw that smells like smoke and peppermint. Loki is taller than you are - you fit right into the curve of his neck, and his long curls curtain you in a bubble of warmth and content. 

“Promise,” You say, but it comes out unintelligible, and Loki’s hands are running, so gently, over your skin. 

“What was your plan?” You ask him, forcing it out of your body. 

“Hush,” Loki says, “Later.” 

There might not be any later, you think. Not like this. 

                                                             ***

In the hotel room, an ocean of scattered pages and ceiling mold and blessed privacy, you balance, cross-legged, on the bed. The wind blows wet and cold from an earlier rain through the busted out window. You have managed this out of sheer stubborn-ness, because it is the most that Loki allowed you to do. You’d passed out, twice, on the journey back - he had magicked you there, though it had taken a considerable amount of effort that you weren’t sure you really deserved - and had immediately propped you up on the pillows and stooped to ruffle through his suitcase, emerging not long after with binding tape, cat-gut thread, and a needle so sharp you could feel it slicing your flesh. You had opened your mouth to protest, but Loki had silenced you with a glare that could fell Director Fury. So you had gone quiet, and caved, letting him kneel over you on the distinctly lumpy mattress and begin inspecting your wounds. It had taken a few tries and a Please to convince him to let you sit on your own, and it hurt much more than the manner in which he’d arranged you. You were starting to, slightly, regret it. 

“You don’t have to do this,” You say, pulling it from bleeding lips. He shushes you with a harsh, stern tut. “You’re not my mother,” You tell him. 

“You could have died,” Loki says. There’s a snarling undercurrent to it that you can’t even start dissecting. “What were you thinking?” He asks. It is easier, though still painful, for you to answer him - he had used nearly half of his Thor-limited magic reserve to perform a basic stasis spell on your injuries, but the spell wouldn’t last forever. You’ll need stitches, he’d said, choking it out like he was the hurt one when he’d seen the number the Cobra’s blade had done to your arm. 

“I’ve had worse,” You say, grinning weakly. 

“Are you lying to me?” He asks you, with the tone of someone who’s distinctly not in the mood for joking. 

“I thought,” You say. Steel yourself. “I thought you weren’t going to do what needed to be done. So I - Did it myself.” 

“What needed to be done.” Loki says, enunciating every word. 

“We couldn’t let him walk away,” You say, meeting his eyes. Emerald, clouded with fury. You don’t let yourself flinch from that anger. You don’t let yourself run from your choice. “You know what he would have done.” 

“I don’t,” Loki says. “I know nothing. I know - I know that you think that your life means so little I wouldn’t care if you were gone. That I could - Live, without you.” 

That’s… different. 

“And I know,” Loki continues, “That I told you to trust me, and I meant it.” 

“I do,” You say. There is no hesitation. “I trust you - Loki. Of course I trust you. It’s not - it wasn’t -“ 

“Stop talking,” He snaps. Gentles, when you jerk your head away, blink back a fresh wave of tears. “You need rest,” He says. “And - This is. This is going to hurt.” 

You nod. 

“Best get it over with, then.” 

“You should keep your eyes closed,” He says. 

“No! I want - I need to look.” You bring your eyes up to your arm, which he’s settled onto bed’s chewed, scratchy quilt without you realizing, but Loki tilts your head up with a barely-there graze of his fingers, achingly gentle to avoid aggravating your swollen jaw. He holds your gaze for a long time. Doesn’t look mad, anymore. 

“Are you sure?” He asks you. Like all of this could be over with, if you wanted. 

“How bad it could it be?” You ask back. 

The injury is horrendous. You’d thought - honest-to-God, you’d thought the pain was terrible, but you weren’t ready for what your arm has become. The line of the wound runs in a craggy jigsaw from just under your shoulder to the tip of your elbow. Small wonder you can’t move it, can barely think through it at all. 

“Y/N?” Loki asks, “Are you -“ 

“Fine,” You say. Blink, and your body knows pain. Try not to let how scared you are show, when you look back up at Loki. The Pink Cobra’s dead. You shouldn’t be scared, anymore. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?” 

Loki sighs. Long and low and sad. 

“Will I have to - “ 

“Bite,” Loki says, and shoves something - the sleeve of his shirt, crusted in blood which you realize, sickeningly, is yours - into your mouth. “It’ll help.” 

It doesn’t, but he holds your hand through it, hushing you through the pain with furrowed eyebrows, thread and needle flying deftly through skin, air, skin again. His fingers move precisely, deliberate,  quick, and when, on one stitch, you audibly whimper, he pauses to lean down and press a soft, utterly unexpected kiss to your hairline. You are unable to fully express how much it means to you, so you do the next best thing and kiss him yourself, pressing him back once he’s finished the last of his stitches and breathing all the the words you can’t say into him. You press every fear and gratitude and lingering nerve into the warmth of his lips, wending your fingers through his dark hair despite the pangs of agony still thrumming through every inch of your body. Your face hurts, but the kiss is all you’ve ever needed and more, and Loki is so, so gentle with you, pulling away with creased eyebrows and a look of genuine concern. 

“I wanted to,” You tell him, mustering all of your strength. “It didn’t hurt.” 

“Stop,” He tells you, voice cracking, “Stop lying.” 

“I’m not,” You say. “I wanted to, Loki, I did.” 

“And you wanted to -“ 

“No.” You are vehement about it, for a broken-ribbed, broken-jawed, freshly-stitched person coming off the high of his teeth and his tongue. “Not that, I swear, never that.”

 “Why did you do it, then?” Loki asks. He has steepled his fingers under his chin, and his narrowed eyes pierce through you to the soul. You couldn’t lie to this man, you think, if your life depended on it. 

You know that you have to tell him, this time. Really tell him. You don’t. 

“”Why didn’t you use your magic?”

“You know why,” He says, and you do. You’d remembered it as the white pill turned to white powder in your gums, as the Pink Cobra’s knife had carved its way into your flesh. Thor had put a set limit on it, as condition of Loki’s release - Proof, he had said, We can trust you. Loki had thought to save it for later, that you wouldn’t need him right then. He had thought you’d talk them out, to safety. 

You’d failed him. 

“You didn’t,” He tells you, voice raw. He goes to grip your chin, to force you to listen to him, but with a glance and ill-concealed wince at your purpled jaw he thinks better of it. “You think that you failed me? You let yourself be - be beaten and stabbed - just so people you’ve never met in your life wouldn’t die, and you call that a failure?” He runs a hand through his hair. Bites back a snarl. Drops your arm. “I need you to listen to me,” Loki says, “Very, very carefully. You’re going to tell me why now, love. And then we’re going to fix it.” 

You raise an eyebrow. Worse than he does, you’re aware. 

“Sleep,” He amends, with a pointed look at the bed underneath you, “And then we’re going to fix it.” 

“There’s only one bed,” You tell him, “And I feel like I just got run over by a truck.” 

Loki huffs, a puff of warm air that you feel, from how close he still is. A grin twitches at the edge of his lips. It sets off sparks inside you. 

“I thought -“ You say. Shake your head, and restart. “You would have let the Pink Cobra attack. You would have let him just walk away, and I couldn’t just - let that happen.” 

“Enlightening.” 

“No,” You tell him, “I mean it. I couldn’t - I’m not - I’m not worth more than anyone else. We’re the Avengers. It’s our job to save people, Loki.” 

He’s regarding you carefully, eyes still narrowed, all vestiges of softness gone from his face. When he opens his mouth, it’s to close it. Form thoughts. Discard them. Exhale. 

“My mother once told me,” He finally says, “That I would never know what it meant to be human until I found the person who made me want to bleed the world dry. Take all of its’ suffering, all of its’ cruelty, and leech it out of the very fabric of time, just to keep that person from anguish, from harm.” 

“I don’t -“ 

He holds a hand up. You still. 

“She never said they would infuriate me,” Loki says. “She never said they would make me laugh, or smile, or question my sanity on a regular basis. She never said that they’d try and get themselves killed, and that I’d have to watch, and that I would feel like my heart was being ripped from my body and torn to a bloody pulp; that I would make the sky rain blood and fire at the sight of it alone. But she was right about one thing - Many things, but also this. She told me that it wouldn’t matter. That I would - love you - anyway.” 

“You don’t,” You say, not daring to hope. It’s an automatic retort. 

“Foolish girl,” Loki chides, and you blink back fresh, stinging tears. How long have you wanted to hear Loki say that to you? How many sneaky looks have you stolen in the heat of your missions, just to see his smart mind and tricky magic at work? How many nights have you sat up together, sequestered from your insomnia in a bubble of hard-earned banter and peppermint tea, fighting the tight, coiling urge to push aside your steaming mugs and pull him into your needing? 

He could not - he can’t - feel the same. 

“Loki,” You say, stumbling over the words, “You can’t - This is - This is me we’re talking about.” 

“Is there anyone else here,” Loki asks you, “That I could be talking about?” He seems nonchalant, now, as if this - this cruel fucking joke, when you already feel you’re on fire - is merely a fact of his life. “We’re going to leave this excuse of a town, and get you - proper care. Fix it. Because I will not, on my honor, watch you suffer in pain. But first, you’re going to sleep.” 

“There’s only one bed,” You tell him, and feel your resolve as it shatters. You cling to the statement like it’s the last remnant of the girl you were and the woman that you’ll never be, “And the shower doesn’t work. And I’m covered in blood.” 

But when you look at Loki, his eyes twinkle, mischievous. 

“Will you stay with me?,” You ask him, biting your lip. 

“You astound me,” He tells you, and rolls his eyes, and it feels - it feels normal. Good. A tender heat unfurls in your heart like orchid petals in the sun, numbing the persistent ache in your ribcage. “To even think that I would do anything else.” 

Later, you will ask him why. Why do you love me?, you will ask, and Loki will hum, low in his throat, curled around you just like this first night; your back pressed into his chest, your legs tangled up hopelessly, his fingers tracing nonsense patterns onto your spine in the dawn-light’s syrupy gold. Because, he will tell you, trailing a line of soft kisses up the scar on your arm - an ugly thing, but it functions, mostly, and only ever seems to hurt on the days when he isn’t there - I was given no choice. 

But if you’d had one?”, You will ask, and spin around, propping yourself on your elbow. 

You tempt me, He’ll tell you, baring his sharp teeth. Shouldn’t you know better than that? 

You will lie there, next to each other, not needing a single word. Because you will know. Because he will have told you, a thousand times, a thousand ways, exactly how he feels about you. 

Tonight, though, isn’t that night. It takes a moment to get settled in his hold, and the rain spits and drums against what glass remains in your window, slicking the carpet with dark, greasy splotches. It figures, you think, that even the rain in this city has the smell and the texture of oil. You feel like a bag of bones, stretched too thin. But safe, in his arms, in a way that you’ve never felt, before now. Loki is with you, you realize. Wrapped around you like a traveler’s cloak, the comforting weight of a slim, balanced blade at your side in a fight. He is cool, around your afraid. Warm, where his clever fingers whine and needle their way through your skin to your heart. 

“I hate you,” You tell him, “You know that?” 

Loki laughs, a deep, rumbling purr. 

“Go to sleep.”

[ramp-it-up]

Sundancer

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Minors DNI, Some pictures, Angst, Pining, drinking, explicit language, oral sex (female/male receiving), love fluff. All errors my own.

A/N: This an ask from @honeysucklechocolatedrippin​ from the 100 smut prompts ask list. I got caught up with this one because I went back to the Show Runner AU.  I kinda love these two.  Hope you enjoy. Read Show Runner.

-------

This press tour was going to be all work. No play. 

Those were the strict rules that you were given.

This was the premiere film and television festival and January in Park City could be a fun, wild place and time, but you were on the clock. 

There would be no open flirting, touching, or even covert fucking while the cast was there. 

You listened to the lecture and smiled and nodded when appropriate.

Truth be told, you really weren’t paying attention, just waiting on your knees, naked and wet, to suck the shit out of his dick. 

When he gave you permission to of course.

You were determined to suck all those stupid ideas out of his brain along with all his cum when he gave you the chance. 

And Rafael was, indeed, without much coherent thought when you were done.

_____

Wednesday 

That conversation was of no consequence to you four days later when you landed in Park City. 

Daveed and Rafa had been there for two days and the rest of the cast was trickling in. 

You gathered your bag while answering a few questions from the paps and headed to your hotel alone, following the driver who held your name up outside baggage claim to a luxury suv.

You texted Rafael that you had landed, to which he just replied, “Good.”

No, ‘how was your flight,’ nothing. 

You sighed, assuming he was busy. 

He had been texting you nonstop for the past three days and now he wanted to play you. 

That was cool.

You relaxed as you took in the snowy scenery of snowy Park City. 

You were taken to a stunning tiny little chalet at the edge of the city and halfway up the mountain. 

The views were spectacular, the cute cozy kitchen fully stocked, and the fireplace was bomb.

As you took in all the antler decor, you texted Rafa again, hyped at the accommodations.

This is dope!

You made sure your cleavage was right in your v-neck sweater and took a selfie of you from above in the bedroom. 

I can’t wait to be on my knees for you later.

You saw the thought bubbles, but no response.

Cool cool cool. 

If that’s what he wanted. That’s what he would get. Ice.

You shook your head and looked in the refrigerator for water. You also found your favorite snacks. 

Production thought of everything. You’d thank Gwen later.

You relaxed on the couch until it was time to get ready for the mixer. 

The car was ready to go at 6:45, in time to get you fashionably late to the Television mixer at the Waldorf Astoria at 7.

Because of all the traffic, you didn’t arrive until 7:30, but you were chilling. You spotted your crew immediately, partly because they were the loudest. 

You loved this new family you made.

“Ayyyy! What’s cracking! We thought you’d never make it. Late flight? You want a drink?”

You laughed at Daveed, seeing that he was on his way to getting lit.

“I’ll have what you’re having.” 

He raised his cute ass eyebrow at you. “This grown folks shit. You sure?”

“Yes. I’m grown. I need to catch up to you! I misjudged the time to leave my chalet. What time did you all leave yours?”

“Ummmm. I walked downstairs like 20 minutes ago. The whole cast is staying here. You’re the only one staying on the other side of town.”

“Oh.” 

You didn’t know what to say as Daveed turned to go get your drink.

You looked around and saw a lot of actors you’d love to work with, some you already had, and some you knew to stay away from.

You spotted Rafa’s golden hair on the other side of the room. 

You weren’t going to go after him, and you didn’t need to, because some of your cast mates enveloped you and Daveed brought you a drink.

You were having too good a time to worry about Mr. Artistic Integrity.

You two circled the room, never really ending up in the same place. You finally saw him with Gwen and got a chance to talk. Rafa saw you approach. He nodded.

“Hey, Long time no see. You make it in ok ?”

You looked at Rafael for an extra beat. He’d seen you up close and personal three days ago when you’d ridden his face. 

But you were an actor. You could play this game.

“Hey Casal. Yeah, I got a few hours ago.” 

You turned to the logistics producer. 

“Gwen! My chalet is so dope!”

She raised her eyebrow at you. 

“That’s great! So, you wanted peace and quiet and away from the rest of us, ay?” Gwen laughed as you and Rafa smiled politely. You were seething. 

“Trying to avoid all the parties. I get it now, although I thought it was weird that you declined accommodations.”

“You know our girl, always a loner.”

Rafael took a sip of his drink, looking at you over it. Your blood boiled but you turned and smiled at Gwen.

“Yeah. On my INFJ shit. What’s the lineup for tomorrow?”  

You made small talk to avoid cussing Rafael the fuck out. He stood there for a minute, listening and being an adorable muthafukin asshole. 

Other people came up and you didn’t even notice Rafa step away. But you spotted him, in a corner with that little twat Ava with the tight little body. Just his type.

He saw you stalking out of the mixer as he chatted her up.

—-

Two hours later, you were cozy in the hot tub, smoking some kush to relax, scrolling your phone. 

A TMZ post from your explore page caught your eye. 

There was a picture of Daveed, next to Rafa and Ava, who looked pretty close and fucking beautiful together. 

The gossip site gushed over the picture of the Bay Boys, noting the ‘adorable couple’ and their mingling at the mixer and somehow sneaking in a not so subtle hint that they were staying at the same hotel.

That was the final straw. You saw it all. Rafa wanted you far away from him while he fucked this little miniature Bratz doll. Bet.

It was only midnight. You were going to get your own plastic action figure for the night.

——

Thursday 

The next morning, you met up with the crew at the suite which was set up for the series press day. 

You went straight to Chelsea who was set up in the bedroom of the suite.

You gave her a hug and took off your sunglasses. Your eyes were puffy.

“Damn girl. You did have fun last night. I got just the thing for those circles.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and let her work her magic.

You emerged ten minutes later and went and got something to eat and a bottle of water from the catering station set up in the kitchen. You watched D and Rafa charm the interviewer. 

You took a deep breath. You could do this.

Ten minutes after that, you find yourself sitting in a chair with the cast lined up, somehow seated next to Rafael.

As the first interviewer was setting up, you got comfortable in your chair. Being a professional.

“I see you had fun last night.”

You looked over at Rafael as if surprised to see him there.

“I’m sorry?”

He smirked at you.

“I said it looks like you had fun with Michael last night.”

He held up his phone and you squinted at a post of you and your new friend, a highly sought after actor who had been in one of Rafa’s favorite movies. 

The pic was from after you went back out to the club last night. You were hugged up close.

You looked in his eyes and saw that he felt some kinda way. He had some fucking nerve.

You smirked. 

“Yeah. He’s really truly a dope person. Not just beauty, but brains too. I love an intelligent man. We… talked all night.” 

Rafa’s smile slipped. You sat back and put on a megawatt smile for the reporter.

The entire day was filled with your secret shots and animosity toward Rafa. 

You couldn’t wait to talk to him in private and tell him not to call your cell phone ever again.

Reporter: “This show has many complex relationships, and you are at the center of two of them that are just developing as the series begins. What do you do to ease into a new relationship?”

You leaned back and crossed your legs.

“That is a great question. Let’s just take an example of, say, meeting someone at... a club?”

Daveed leaned in front of Rafa and said, “This is not a true story from last night by the way.”

“Of course not,” you quickly replied and winked. Everyone laughed, everyone but Rafa.

“What I’ve found recently that works wonders is: ‘Oh my god you’re so much better than the last person I was with.’”

Everyone was dying laughing.

Rafa choked on his water. You leaned over and patted him on the back. “You good?”

He just glared at you. You shrugged and kept it moving.

“No, but really. You should start off in a relationship where you can be open and honest. There’s really no relationship if you can’t have that.”

Rafael cleared his throat, but you refused to look at him.

The press day continued.

After eight hours of interviews, you were ready to get out of there, so while Rafa and D were playing host, you managed to get out and to the car. 

You were exhausted of the tension.

On your way to the chalet, Rafa texted you.

‘We need to talk.’

You huffed. Now he wanted to talk. 

Well, tough shit. 

You blocked his number. 

You couldn’t function like this right now. You and him could break it off next week in LA. He was right, you were on the clock.

That night at the Midnight showing, you sat with Michael. 

Might as well try to have some fun. The paparazzi were snapping lots of pictures with you two.

While Mike took a quick interview, you made your way to the bar alone.

“You’ve not answered any of my texts. Or my calls.” 

You rolled your eyes at Rafael.

“You’ve texted and called?” 

You shrugged and took a drink.

“Look. We can do all that back in Cali next week. Gotta keep it professional here, isn’t that the deal?”

You downed your drink and walked back over to Michael, Rafael boring a hole in your back. 

He left you alone after that.

——

Friday

The next day and night were much the same, a cast interview and screening of two episodes during the day and another industry party at night. 

Rafa being so busy made it easy to stay away from each other.

You got back to your place with a bottle of tequila about midnight. 

You were flying out the next day and you should have some fun, even if it was not what you’d envisioned before you arrived in Park City. 

You hated Rafael Casal. 

But you refused to cry. Again.

An hour later, you looked up from your drunken haze to see Rafa standing over you. 

He looked so damn good in this dream.

“You shouldn’t drink a whole bottle of tequila in a hot tub, especially alone.”

“What the fuck do you care? You’re probably fucking Ava ten ways from Sunday right now.”

Dream Rafa raised his eyebrow at you and shook his head.

“Why would I want to fuck Ava?”

“Right? Especially when you could have all this.”

You stood up, almost falling and showing off your wet, naked body.  You giggled as he appreciated you, his eyes sweeping down your body.

Dream Rafa moved closer to you and grabbed your hand as you wobbled. 

“Let’s get out and get you some water.”

He helped you out and wrapped you in one of the huge white fluffy robes that you’d found in the closet.

He led you to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

You drank, your head clearing, but just a bit.

You kept staring at Dream Rafa, who was regarding you steadily, a weird look on his face.

When you finished, he walked you to the bedroom and watched as you lay down. You looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was 1:30 am.

You opened your robe and turned to see Dream Rafa in bed with you.

“How convenient. I’m so so horny Dream Boy. Haven’t had any dick since last week.” 

You untied the robe and grabbed your breasts, squeezing them and rolling your nipples, arching your back.

Rafael watched you hungrily.  

“Help me to get off. Fuck me, Dream lover. The real Rafa doesn’t want me anymore…”

You moved your hand down to your core and started playing in it, moaning and watching Rafa watch you.

As he licked his lips, you brought your hand up and let him taste the wetness on your fingers. He hummed, then took your hand in his.

“Not like this. I want you. Fully present and clear headed. But I want you. And we need to talk.”

He kissed the palm of your hand and covered you with the robe again.

You groaned and turned away from him.

“Even the Rafael of my dreams reject me? I can’t believe I’m in love with such a jackass.”

You didn’t feel Rafa pull you close as you started shoring.

—

Saturday

You woke up alone, mad at the sunlight. Your head was pounding. 

Your mouth was parched, but you found a bottle of water on the bedside table. 

You grabbed it, grateful that you got it on the way to the bedroom last night. 

As you sat up and drank, you groaned as you thought back to your dream. 

You had to get him out of your system.

You got up and went to the kitchen, halfway expecting to see him there. 

You sighed with something that must have been relief when he wasn’t there. 

You took your water and some grapes to the little kitchen bar and sat there, eating and drinking slowly with your head in your hand.

You jumped when you heard a key in the front door and stared when Rafa let himself in. 

“Look who’s up. Bet you’ve got a doozy of a headache.” 

You just continued to gape as he put his bags down on the counter. He handed you a bottle of aspirin.

“You’ll need these.” He put some pedialyte in front of you. “And this.”

“Wait. Did you just let yourself in? With a key?”

“Yeah. This is my chalet. I own it.”

Your mouth dropped open. 

“I thought you had a hotel room.”

“I do. This is business so production put the cast up there. D and I decided to join.”

Your heart clenched at the fact he did not want you there too. What was this reality? Then you thought about the dream.

“Wait. Were you really here last night?” 

You were confusion.

Rafa smiled at you. 

“You want something to eat? Gotta get something in your stomach besides tequila and grapes.” 

You groaned and held your head at the realization that last night was not a dream.

“Fuck. Did I say all that? Did I do all that? Out loud?” 

You peeked at him through your fingers.

That smile. “Yeah.” 

You were mad. He looked to fucking happy. 

“Well, don’t take it personal. I was zooted. When I’m sober, I hate you Rafael.”

He frowned. “Are you sober now?”

You opened the bottle of aspirin and drank some pedialyte. 

“Unfortunately, yes. Very sober.”

Rafa moved next to you.

“I’m going to come closer so I don’t have to yell.”

He tipped your chin up with two fingers.

“I can’t believe I’m in love with a fucking brat.”

You were ready to fight.

“I’m a brat? I’m a BRAT?” 

You leaned back, your hands on the counter behind you to get some space from the electricity bouncing between you.

“You ignore me as soon as I land in the same city as you, and then you put me out here in this secret hideaway so you can fuck with that Ava chick.” 

You closed your eyes because you’d be damned if you cried right now. 

“I thought we agreed that we’d talk to each other before we tired of each other and got with other people?”

Rafa leaned close to you, caging you in with his arms on the counter beside yours. 

You could barely breathe, the emotions were getting the better of you. You just wanted to kiss him.

“Who told you that I fucked Ava?” 

This time you raised your chin on your own.

“No one had to tell me. I saw the pictures of you two together. I can read, Rafa.”

“Not very well in this situation, I’m afraid.”

Rafa shook his head and looked down. Then looked back up at you with those damn eyes.

“You also don’t listen. Did you even hear what I said? I just said I love you.”

You just stared at him.

“Wait… what?”

Rafa brought his hips closer to yours, standing up tall. You wanted them on you.

“I love you, you fucking brat. Why would I want Ava when the woman I love has all this.”

And he reached for you, opening the tie on your robe. He sighed as he moved his hands on your brown skin. He was home.

“I want you to listen. Listen before you jump ahead and try to argue.”

You were about to say something and clamped your mouth shut at his warning glance.

“I told you, this was work. And we agreed not to go public with our relationship yet.”  

He saw you wanting to protest.

“We agreed.” 

His hands spread against your stomach, thumbs on your warm nipples.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I was controlling myself. I wanted to meet you at the airport, but the paps are swarming.”

Rafael's blue eyes were now dark.

“And I didn’t stash you away because I wanted to fuck Ava, but because this is my home and I wanted you in it.” 

Rafa finally kissed you, and you took his tongue in your mouth, wanting to own a part of him.  Your moan while you kissed was getting him even harder.

“And when you sent me that picture of you in the bedroom, I wanted to run over here and take you in every room,  but I couldn’t. Still working. Just had to jack off when I could. To that picture.”

You moaned as his words made you drip down your thigh.

He pressed his pelvis to you and you could feel how hard he was. You took a ragged breath and forced your hands to remain on the counter. 

But you looked up into those burning blue eyes. You were wet and ready.

“It was killing me knowing that you were so close, sleeping in my bed without me, naked in my hot tub without me, and that I couldn’t touch you, hold you. Fuck the shit out of you. Hear you scream my name.”

“Tire of you? God, I wish I could get tired of you. I want you all the time, I can hardly function when you’re not around.”

He kissed across your collarbone to the other side of your neck. You were definitely weak.

“I was coming over that first night, but I saw you going out. To the club. Where it seems you hooked up with Mike.” 

Rafa bit down on your pulse point.

“Rafa, I…”

Rafa licked the spot he just bit. 

“Shhh. I know you didn’t get with him, but you were a bit of a bitch at the Q and A day. And then you took him to the midnight screening.”

Rafa was appraising your body possessively now.

“You tried to make me think that you were with him; that he was touching you like this.”

Rafa grabbed your breasts and squeezed your nipples between your fingers. You arched into his hands.

“It was like you were teasing me.” 

His hands moved down your torso and around to your ass, squeezing and pulling your cheeks apart and ghosting your intimate parts with his fingers.

“You know I don’t like to be teased.”

He released you and took two steps back, leaving you feeling bereft.

You were panting in the middle of his kitchen. You felt what it was like to be teased.

“Rafa, I’m sorry. Please…”

Rafa was two steps ahead of you. He was pulling his Oaklandish hoodie over his head. Then he shook his head at you.

He bent his head to your breast as he lifted it roughly to meet his lips. He drew your hard bud between his lips and grazed it with his teeth. 

Rafa nipped and sucked your flesh roughly as he licked the fingers in his other hand and reached between your legs.

“Did you want Mike to touch your cunt like this?”

“No...only you Cash…”

He traced his fingers between your wet lips, causing you to shudder and moan. Then he started to tease your clit.

“Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me you love me.”

“I..I…” You didn’t know when it happened, but it did. “Fuck it. I love you Rafael.” 

You sigh in relief and with desire as he pushed his fingers deeper into you.

He moaned softly in your ear as he pressed you back against the island.

“Good girl. Now tell me more. Tell me you love what I’m doing to you right now. Tell me you love this shit.”

“I love it so fucking much,” you squeaked, holding on to his shoulders for dear life, your nails digging in.

As he pumped his fingers, you wriggled and started to grind against his hand. As you wriggled more, he cursed under his breath.

“Fuck! Stay still.”  

His tongue licked up and down your neck as his hand went faster and faster, playing you like an instrument.

You were getting so close, and Rafa could feel it. So he stopped and stepped back again, panting while he tasted his fingers and leaving you quivering and emotional.

You refused to beg, but he knew what you needed.

“I want to punish you for not listening to me and your heart, but I can't because I’d be punishing myself.”

He walked toward you again, put his hands on you and slid down your body as he knelt before you.

Rafa looking up at you like that made you fall in love all over again. 

He leaned forward and kissed your lower lips oh so tenderly. Then, he licked them, and you had to hold on to the counter again. Then he started talking.

“I’ve been hard for you ever since you texted me that you touched down.” 

He kissed each of your thighs and lifted one up and rested it on his shoulder. You were not ready.

“I was so pissed off all day. Until I saw you that night.”

Rafa lightly licked a long stripe between your legs.

He pulled back and looked at your pussy, as if entranced.

“But, I stayed away from you at the mixer because I knew I would drag you to a bathroom and bend you over the sink…”

Rafa slowly rolled his tongue over your slit. You held your hand over your mouth as you watched him.

He looked up at you and chuckled. 

“No close neighbors. Let me hear you.” 

He sighed as he looked at you again. 

“I wanted to take you in the bedroom at the suite during the press day and put your ankles around your ears to dig out that attitude.”  

Rafa licked you again, making you tremble and moan loudly.

“I decided to come and give you an ultimatum last night, but I get here and you were so cute and drunk and said that you loved me.”  

He graced you with a smile. You smile back and brush his hair out of his eyes.

“I know you said that I don’t own you. But you own me. Body and soul. I’m starving for you.”

And then he dove in, making you gasp as he eagerly parted your lips with his tongue and started to flick it back and forth over your clit, grasping your ass and your leg to support you and keep you in place.

This time he didn’t stop. He licked and sucked and swiped, his head moving back and forth as he ate. He did it until your eyes rolled back into your head and you were screaming his name. He increased his pace and intensity until you were a quivering, moaning mess. 

You come on Rafa’s face in the middle of a ski chalet in Park City, Utah.

You were still quivering as you watched him stand up, take off his shirt and wipe his face with it.

“So, you can take your flight back to LA in a couple of hours, or you can stay until Monday and we can be seen together tonight. In public.”

Your face lit up as he led you to the bathroom. You were catching on.

“And we will be ‘good friends’ for a few weeks until we let on.”

“Now, you’re listening.” Rafa was smiling wide now.

“Wait, does Diggs know about us?” Rafa started taking off his pants. You needed what was inside.

“Nevermind. I know the answer, Jackass.”  

You ignored Rafa’s laugh as you began to make up for lost time.

-------

Read the next part, Scene Stealer Tagging: 

@theatrenerd86 @lonelydance @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri  @theselilwonders @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @ivycomet @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @curtainremote @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @peaches-and-mangoes​​​ @delaber @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @einfachniemand​

[mindswriters]

Next Morning - jj maybank × reader

Summary: y/n and jj are friends with benefits for a couple months ago, in secret of course, but after a night where the blonde could not control himself, you guys have to chase after a next morning pill.

Pairing: jj maybank × reader

Warnings: a tiny bit of smut, unprotected sex [no glove no love my friends], swearing, pregnancy scare, probably typos.

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: this is "low" key inspired by otis and ruby from sex education, i thought they were cute.

gif by @toesure :)

"Oh fuck Y/n, you're doing so good" JJ grunts as you speed your pace bouncing your hips against his shaft, riding him like your life depends on it.

Tonight was being just another boring Thursday night at the outer banks, at least until your best friend, JJ Maybank, calls you saying that he was alone at the chateau, and asked you to come over. A few months ago you guys updated your friendship with some benefits, and since then a day without your other Pogue friends means a huge opportunity to enjoy yourselves together, so why not.

"You fill me up so nice J" you moaned tugging his blonde locks while you sank yourself on his cock one more time.

Incredible as it sounds, this is the first time you're riding JJ's cock. After lots of tries, he finally left out his dominant side and let you take control of him, but obviously at some point he would buck his hips and meet your thrusts, making it feel even better. Honestly, he wasn't expecting it to be this good. He loves the way your breasts are pressed against his chest while you move your hips roughly, this position basically gives him a free pass to cover your neck with bites and hickies. And all of this plus your moans filling up the room are driving him insane.

"Fuck, I can't" he breathed out under your ear but you kept with your pace, looking for your high, and you could say it wasn't so far "Y/n, I think I'm gonna- oh fuck"

"What the actual fuck JJ?" you cursed panting when you felt the stick liquid scratching your inside walls and reached your high too.

At the beginning of this 'thing' you were still two good kids who always protected yourselves, but as deep as you dived in each others lusts, you discovered that neither you nor JJ were the biggest fans of condoms, so you made a deal, you can do it without them, as long as he don't release inside of you. And by the looks of it, he just broke the deal.

"Did you just came inside me?" you just aren't freaking out because you're still dizzy from your orgasm

"Shit I think I did" he said by passing his hands through his messy hair and heavy breathing.

"This is not a joke, JJ. Didn't you felt it coming?" you asked in a hard tone while reaching for his shirt to clean yourself up

"It was impossible not to feel it" the blonde answered with a smirk

"Then why don't you warned me, pulled off or whatever?" you now have a worried tone in your voice

"I tried! but come on Y/n, I'm mild high and you were having no mercy with me!" he exclaimed throwing his hands on the air

"Don't put this all on me" you ran your hands through your face and trying to stay calm, realizing the big problem you had just created.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay, even though you were riding me like a goddess, it was my dick who painted you so..." he said getting close to you and wrapping your naked body with his arms.

You softly giggled relaxing a bit with his touch, you know he's worried too, his brain is only a little slower than yours to process information, but you're sure that once he remember that one of the consequences of this "slide" could be an unexpected pregnancy and you becoming parents with 17 years, he'll freak out.

"So what do we do now?" he asked caressing your hair

"Since we're on the cut, without the twinkie and there's none 24-hour drug store in here, we'll go to sleep and wait until tomorrow morning to go buy a next morning pill." you explained what seemed to be the best option now.

"It means you're staying over?" he asked and you nodded smirking "Sounds good to me then"

After that, you guys took a quick shower just to free your bodies from the sweat and other things even more disgusting, and didn't even bothered in putting back your clothes, you just cuddled and fell asleep naked under a thin blanket, because above all, his body's heat still makes you feel safe.

¤¤¤

You can't say that you slept like an angel this night, you were too worried for it. So as soon as you saw the bright light from outside trespass the room, you carefully reached your phone on the nightstand and checked the time, it was almost 8 in the morning. Considering you don't want to be naked with your best friend in the spare room when John B arrives, and that the sooner you take the pill the better, you decided it was time to get up. You slowly pulled JJ's arm away from your waist and stood up without waking him up. You picked your underwear from the floor and put them on, along with your jeans shorts from the day before and lent one of JJ's shirts, the one with a Kildare Marina print. The boy only woke up when you got back from the bathroom, and opened the curtains, basically torturing him.

"Oh come on, what time is it?" he grunted scratching his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Time to fix the previous night, sweetheart" you answered picking up some clothes that were still on the floor.

"Can't we just wait a little more?" he yawned.

"No, we can't, unless you want to increase the chances of me having a mini you on my uterus" you stared him cocking your eyebrows.

"Okay, right, I'm up" he stood up quickly, but he wasn't 100% awake yet.

"Uh, try to put some clothes on, I'll be in the kitchen" you faked a disgusted face pointing to his not too little exposed friend.

While JJ was doing his morning routine, you started looking for something you could eat, but the old pizza slices, mold breads and cereal wastes didn't seem at all attractive to you and your lack of hunger. At that moment the feelings that consume you most are those of concern and guilt, concern because you know that the next morning pill isn't 100% effective, and you definitely can't handle having a baby now, you are too irresponsible for this, and that's why you also feel guilty, because if you wouldn't had accepted that goddamn "no condom" deal, nothing of this will be happening. But suddenly you were dragged away from your thoughts by the sound of the Chateau's front door opening, you could say that John B was trying to be quiet, but it didn't work very well, since the doors of the house are old and creak with any movement.

"Shit!" the brunette whisper-shouted placing a hand on his chest when he entered the kitchen "Wow Y/n, you scared the shit out of me, what are you doing?"

"Uh.... breakfast?" you quirked your eyebrows showing him the cereal box in your hands

"Yeah I can see you're doing your breakfast, 'what are you doing here?' is what I meant" he said placing his keys on the counter.

"I'm waiting for JJ, we have some important things to do" you said staring your cereal bowl, avoiding to meet eyes with your friend.

"JJ? Doing important things this early in the morning?" you pursed your lips in a suggestive smile and nodded your head "And why are you wearing his shirt?"

You almost chocked with milk at the question, stuttering to find a plausible answer "Because... I- spilled toothpaste on mine?" it definitely sounded more like a question.

John B was about to question you again but thank God JJ finally joined you, now wearing his classic boots and cargo shorts, and some random shirt.

"Oh hi Jombie" he said scratching his eyes with the back of his hand.

Before your friend could even answer, you stood up and made your way towards JJ "Finally sleeping beauty, can we go now?" you said linking your arms.

"I was actually craving for some breakfast first" he pointed to the table, where John B was putting some cereal for himself.

"You know what might happen if we get late, don't you?" you whispered quirking your eyebrows and giving the blonde a serious look and heading to the front porch.

"Ok, breakfast can wait, see you later JB, oh and we're taking the twinkie" he grabbed the keys John B had previously dropped on the counter and hushed to meet you outside.

"See ya weirdos" John B shook his head and rolled his eyes seeing the antics of his two best friends.

The drive to the drugstore was silent, but not an awkward silent, more like a reflexing silence. The more you tried to stay calm and shrug off all the "what ifs" in your head, the more the anxiety took hold of you. For JJ, you were going to take the pill and everything would work out, but you know it's not like that, these emergency methods don't always work, and if it doesn't work this time, you have no idea how to deal with a possible pregnancy at 17. What your friends will think when you come clean and tell them about your escapades and that they resulted in your pregnancy? How would you explain this to your parents? How would they react? How JJ's father would react? All this thoughts were zoning out in your brain when a gentle touch stopped you from freaking out. You moved your gaze from the window to JJ's hand rubbing your tight, and then you looked at his face to see a reassuring smile, like saying "it's going to be ok" but without words. You smiled back, feeling the anxious feeling leave your body and mind. It didn't take long for you guys to be parking the van a few meters from the drugstore.

You were about to enter the store when something clicked on your mind "Wait!" you said grabbing JJ's arm, making him stumble on his feet.

"What's wrong?" he frowned staring at you.

"JJ we live on an island. What if someone sees me buying next morning pills? I don't want the whole obx gossiping about me and my sexual slides" you said crossing your arms and looking away from him.

"Okay, I'll do it then" he said and you immediately stared at him, surprised and trying to figure out if he was being serious, just when you were about to complain, he gently squeezed your shoulders "Wait here, I'll be right back"

And just like that you were left alone in front the small store, you looked around, thankfully the street was pretty empty, so you decided to sit down on the curb and wait for him to come back. Which was faster than you expected. As soon as you heard the bell, you got up and waited for him to give you the box that he had in his hands.

"These are just bubble gums" he shrugged rolling his eyes.

"Bubble gums? What the hell JJ?" you laughed in disbelief.

"She said she couldn't sell it for me because I don't have a fucking vagina" JJ protested trying to not be so loud.

You sighed licking your lips. But is better to deal with buying the pill in person, to deal with having a baby. You opened your purse, looking for your sunglasses and when you found them you tapped JJ's shoulder "stay at the door, you'll be my look out"

"At your disposal, boss" he said holding the door while you two entered the store, you put on your glasses trying to disguise a little smirk in your lips.

You slowly walked between the hallways, pretending to be some random costumer, not that you weren't, you just don't want to seem so desperate. When you finally reached the cash counter, you looked over your shoulder to see JJ nodding and giving you tumbs up.

"Hey, can I have a next morning pill?" you mumbled twitching your nose.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you" the woman on the cashier said.

"A next morning pill, please" this time you were clearer, masking the awkwardness with an even more awkward smirk.

"When did you last have sex?" the cashier asked.

"Last night" you stated, isn't it obvious? you thought to yourself.

"Did you use contraception?" the question made you stomach turn. Why did you have to be so irresponsible? Stupid deal.

"No" your whisper could barely be heard by you, let alone the woman behind the counter.

"Miss, did you use contraception?" she repeated the question after your lack of response.

"No, we didn't" your eyes widened when you heard JJ's voice coming from a few meters away.

Both you and the cashier stared at him, who immediately regretted the previous words "Sorry, I'm just the look out" he scratched the back of his neck.

Returning the attention just between you and the mild-age woman, she made a few more questions and after finishing to fill up your form, she finally gave you the little box with all the prescriptions to take the pill. You also asked for two Pepsi cans for you and JJ, you were about to pay the woman when you felt an around your waist.

"What do you think you're doing, lady?" JJ asked taking your wallet from your hands.

"Well, if you please give my wallet back, I was going to pay for those things" you stared at him trying to reach his other hand behind his back.

"No way, I'll pay for it" he returned the wallet for you and grabbed his own one on his pocket.

"J, you don't have to, it takes two to tango remember?" you protested biting your inner lip and giving him non-intentional puppy eyes.

"Then we should at least split it" he definitely has a point now.

"Okay, fine, you win" you rolled your eyes giving up and earning a grin from your best friend.

¤¤¤

After you and JJ have paid for the pill and your sodas, he said he wanted to go somewhere else, so he drove the twinkie to the old forts on Battery Jasper, some kind of cliff or mountain where we could almost see the entire Outer Banks. You guys sat on some old big rocks and while you struggled against the wind to try to read the pill bull, JJ decided to break the silence.

"Do you think we should break the deal?" he hesitantly asked.

"You mean the 'condom free' deal or all the friends with benefits deal?" you chuckled looking at the paper in your hands.

"Do you want to stop what we've been doing? 'Cause if you do I'm not stopping you, it's just- I really enjoy spending time with you and..." he started rumbling but you soon interupted him.

"Hey! chill out blondie!" you giggled cupping his face with your right hand "We don't need to stop it, even because I like messing around with you too, a lot. We just need to be more careful" you explained.

"Okay..." he relaxed with your touch and you two shared a smile and stared at each other for a few seconds.

You cleared your throat when you remembered that you were the one hurrying him up and now you almost forgot that you have a pill to take asap. You opened your Pepsi and medicine, putting the pill on your tongue and taking a sip of the drink to help you swallow. JJ watched you and while you were drinking again you heard little laughter coming from him.

"What?" you gave him a suspicious look.

"Nothing" he giggled making you narrow your eyes at him "I just imagined us being arrested for killing a poor little baby"

"So would you prefer waking up at 3am to changing diapers?" you laughed arching you eyebrows.

"Ew, no" you both erupted in laughter, you love the way you and JJ never feel awkward, not even in scary moments like these.

When you recovered from your crisis of laughter, you took a deep breath and felt a grip on your tight, you looked up to see JJ staring at the horizon, and you could say that he was thinking about something.

"You know, I would like to have a baby with you" he said with a shy grin.

"Oh come on J, give it a rest" you shook your head chuckling and taking another sip of your drink.

"No, I meant it! Of course not right now, but if we reach our thirties without meeting our perfect pairs, we could marry each other and just maybe have a little bit of kids" he said nonchantly.

"A little bit of kids?" you smiled and stared at him, trying to figure if he was being serious or not "I can't believe you're real Maybank" you giggled.

"What? Have you never heard that people are happier when they marry their best friends?" he suggested.

"Maybe" you shrugged looking away.

"So what? Do we have a deal?" he bit his lip quirking his eyebrows in your direction.

"I'm not making anymore deals with you, blondie" you said, immediately seeing his happy face fall to a sad one "But maybe, just maybe, I liked your idea" you smirked turning your face to look at him.

"I knew it!" he cheered with a kiss on your cheek and clicking your cans he said "To our future possible marriage"

"Cheers" you gave a little laugh, which was interrupted by your phone ringing.

As soon as you unlocked your screens, you were surprised with dozens of notifications on your twitter, and also 2 messages from John B, you opened them first.

Jombie 🏄‍♂‍: so is that the "important things" you guys had to do? am i missing something?

Jombie 🏄‍♂‍: 📷 Photo

When you downloaded the file, you came across a screenshot, it was from Topper's last tweet: a picture taken from outside the drugstore, through the glass wall, you and JJ standing in front of the cash counter, his arm on your waist, and thanks god, only the two Pepsi cans could be seen on the counter. Your eyes widened even more when you read the caption "Looks like Maybank and Y/l/n finally assumed their shit! What would those lovebirds be doing on a drugstore this early in the morning?"

"What happened?" JJ asked seeing how your expression went blank looking at your phone.

"Weren't you supposed to be the look out?" you said turning your phone to him and pointing to the screen blowing with notifications, but still showing the picture on Topper's tweet.

"Shit."

They have some things to explain now, or maybe some good excuses to came up with.

taglist: @blueflame2778 @outerbongs @maybebanks @k-k0129 @dani-c20 @jjsmaybcnk @wicked-laugh @wallflowercal @obx-pouges @alwaysasadaesthetic @marvel-ousnesss

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Forever

A Very Rogers Christmas. Part 2- You Gotta Be Kitten Me.

Summary: Christmas draws ever nearer and the two eldest littles in the Rogers household break up from school from the holidays, and Jamie is given his first taste of independence…and brings a few surprises home as a consequence.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad language, talks of violence…a little bit of actual violence and Katie acting like a hell cat!

A/N: You can find Part 1 of my Stark Spangled 2020 Christmas special- A Very Rogers Christmas. HERE.    Part 3 will be posted next week.

SSF Masterlist // WIYPT Masterlist 

Katie walked into the bathroom where Steve was stood, his top half bare, towel round his waist as he gently examined his face. Katie stopped to take him in, his broad shoulders still beaded with drops of water from his shower, his back muscles rippling as he turned this way and that way, tilting his body as he stared at his reflection.

Katie could see in his eyes that he was lost, battling with those little doubts that every now and then would niggle away in his brain ever since he had noticed the changes to his body some two years ago. He was petrified the serum was going to disappear overnight and leave him back to his previous state, small and weak, but both Katie and Banner had reassured him that wasn't going to happen. What he was seeing now was it gradually depleting, a process Banner had predicted from various tests would take twenty more year or so. And besides, as Katie had reminded him, there was nothing weak about Steve Rogers. That said, she understood as well as anyone what it was like to deal with your body changing. Having carried four children she now had wider hips, a soft stomach, bigger chest and she knew full well that by the time Christmas was over she'd be about twelve pound heavier and be on a diet for two months to shift said Christmas weight, but she was beyond the point of caring. Where once it had made her feel sick to look at herself, now, seeing her kids each day was a reminder of just why she had changed, and what was a few extra inches here and there when you had a gorgeous family to show for it?

Plus Steve adored her. She knew that. He took any and every chance he could to touch her and remind her how beautiful he thought she was. And she felt the same about him. Whilst he wasn't quite as defined as he had been once upon a time, his hard, chiselled abs had been replaced with a flat but softer stomach, his pectoral muscles also ever so slightly less pronounced, he was beyond perfect to her. She loved his softer body, and yes he complained his knees cracked and ached a little if he over did it on the running, and sometimes his back gave him a twinge every now and then, but he was fit, healthy and had a physique most men would die for. He was also still ridiculously strong. He could roughhouse with Jamie all day long, he could sweep Rori up in one hand and tuck her under his arm whilst she squealed with laughter, he could throw Emmy over his shoulder with easy, he could lift Harry and Flossie up one in each hand with no trouble, and he could pick Katie up and toss her around the bedroom like she was a ragdoll, which suited her just fine. With a smile, Katie gently dropped the clothes she was carrying into the hamper and moved behind him, her hands slipping to his belly, spraying flat against his skin as she pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder. "Get out of your head, Soldier." Steve gave a soft smile as his hands lay over hers, as she peeked round him, their eyes locking in the mirror and he let out a sigh. "I was just thinking, that's all." "I can tell." She nuzzled the top of his arm "You had your thinking face on." He gave her another smile, his right hand teaching up to his chin and he gently rubbed his beard "I was just debating whether or not to shave." "Don't you dare!" Katie narrowed her eyes and he chuckled. "Yeah, didn't think you'd take it well." "Why do you wanna shave?" She frowned. "You've had a beard now for years. I thought you liked it as it keeps you on the low mostly." "I do." He shrugged, tipping his head to the side slightly. “But I don’t like all this grey that appears to get worse every morning." Katie arched an eyebrow as she slid round to face him, Steve stepping back to allow her to stand in the space between him and the basin unit. She glanced up, examining the dark whiskers which adorned his chin and cheeks, spattered intermittently with lighter blonde, auburn and an increasing amount of grey. "Well, I’m a big fan," she mused, standing on her tip toes to brush her lips over his jaw, the pads of her fingers cupping his cheeks. "And I also happen to think you're fucking gorgeous either way. If you wanna murder it, go ahead." "You talk about it as it it’s a living, breathing thing." Steve scoffed, his hands falling to her hips. "Well it’s that glorious it could be." She smiled and he laughed. "Look, I promise you, the only person who’s noticing it so much is you, but if it's bothering you why don't you just trim it a little before you completely get rid? Then you can see how you feel when it's shorter."

“Yeah, maybe.” he glanced at the mirror again as Katie’s hands slid to the top of his shoulders, smoothing up and over until they reached round his neck, the fingers of her right hand gently tangling in the strands of his hair at the back of his head.

“As long as you don’t shave all this off when it starts going grey too.” She teased and he rolled his eyes and gave her an exasperated look as she pondered something. “Actually, you’d probably suit a buzz cut.”

“Shut up.” He looked at her and she grinned as her eyes flashed mischievously.

“Mind you, I like having something here to tug.” she pulled his hair slightly causing his head to tip back a little before she released him, biting her lip, a cheeky glint in her eyes.

“You are incorrigible.” He smirked, dropping his head to catch her lips.

“Shut up and put that silver on me, Soldier.” She grinned against his mouth and Steve couldn’t help the little growl that rumbled in his throat at her words. In an easy movement he’d picked her up and perched her on the unit in front of him, causing a dirty little giggle to fly from her lips which he swallowed with his mouth. He kissed her, long and hard, his hands splaying on her back as her legs locked around his hips, the pair of them laughing in between the kisses and just as Katie’s hands moved to untuck the edge of the towel round Steve’s waist they heard Rori yelling that she couldn’t find her Snowman sweater and Steve gave a groan, his forehead resting against Katie’s, his eyes closed.

“You know, I love out kids, I would die for them but sometimes, well I swear to God they get their bad timing skills from your brother, her especially.”

Katie chuckled as her eyes opened and locked onto Steve’s which were twinkling with good humour.

“Yeah, there’s no doubting she has a lot of Stark in her.”

“Not to mention she’s a dramatic ass.” Steve snorted as Katie laughed

“Yeah that too.”

“You know, your dad would have been crazy about her.” He added as he stepped back to allow Katie to hop down from the unit.

“Maybe, I don’t remember enough about him to agree or otherwise,” she mused, “but I know if Tony were still here he would adore her.”

“Yeah, he would.” Steve agreed. “And as a result she’d be calling me Capsicle instead of Daddy.”

Katie laughed and gently gave his cheek a kiss “I’ll go start breakfast, can you sort Harry and Floss?”

“Sure.” He kissed her gently watching as she left the room.

Katie found Rori’s sweater, much to her daughter’s excitement and then they headed downstairs where Jamie was already sat eating a bowl of cereal. She smiled at him and he wished her good morning before he offered to get Rori’s cheerio’s for her. Rori grinned at him and nodded so Katie left the two of them to it whilst she threw some toast in for her and Steve and turned to see Jamie had also grabbed Harry’s bowl from the cupboard and was busy measuring him some cereal out for him too.

“Thanks Jamie.” She smiled.

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. There was a moment’s pause as Katie threw on a pot of coffee before he spoke again. “Actually, mom, I kinda wanted to ask you something.”

Katie paused, and turned around smiling “You buttering me up?”

“No, that’s not…” he began floundering for excuses the same way Steve did before he rolled his eyes when he saw Katie grinning. “Rude.”

She laughed “Okay, sorry sweetie. What is it?”

“Well, I was wondering if me and Seb could go to the park after school.”

“I wanna go to the park, too!”  Rori nodded and Katie shrugged.

“I don’t see why not. Sure your dad will take you for an hour when I make dinner.”

“No, I mean on our own.” Jamie looked at Katie “I thought we could like walk home and stop off for an hour.”

“You want to walk home from school, with Seb, and go to the park?” Katie clarified and Jamie nodded. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

"Why not?"

"You're ten." She said flatly as she mixed Flossie’s porridge and moved to the microwave. "I know you're growing up now but..." "I'll be with Seb" Jamie pleaded "It’s not that far to walk, and I’ll call you.” His eyes lit up as if he had found some kind of huge bargaining chip “Like, when I'm leaving school and when we get to the park and then every ten minutes after. And we’ll be home for five for dinner. I promise.” Katie sighed, shutting the microwave door as she bit her lip. She has been dreading this day, when Jamie staked his first claim on wanting some independence. And here it was, a request to go to the park after the schools broke up for Christmas.  It wasn't that she didn't want him to go, far from it. Her and Steve were keen that, despite their background, the kids all had as normal an upbringing as possible. But now she was torn. Jamie was pushing eleven and would start middle school next time round. She wanted to give him a little more responsibility yet in the same breath also wasn't sure she was completely comfortable with the idea of him and Seb walking home from school alone.

At that point Steve walked into the kitchen, Flossie in his arms and a dressed Harry bounding behind him as he was gabbling on about something.

"Everything okay?" He frowned, instantly spotting the look on Katie's face.

"Jamie wants to walk home today, via the park." She said, looking at him and Steve took a deep breath "And I'm not sure I like the idea."

Steve shook his head."Neither do I."

"But daaaaad!" Jamie groaned “It’s Christmas."

"That doesn't mean all rules get suspended, or that you can simply do as you please." Steve shrugged, dropping Flossie into her high chair as Harry scrambled up to the place at the table his cereal bowl was waiting for him. "Besides which it’s freezing outside."

That was a crap excuse, and Steve knew it, as it wasn't like he couldn't wrap up or that he'd never been allowed to play out in the snow before. Jamie groaned and as Steve shot him a look, his shoulders slumped and his eyes dropped down.

"Fine. It doesn't matter. Forget I asked. Can I leave the table? I need to get dressed."

“Me too.” Rori added and Katie nodded. There was the loud scraping of chairs across the floor as they both moved and Jamie stood up and walked dejectedly out of the room, Rori following behind. As soon as they were gone Katie turned to Steve and gave a sigh.

"Are we being too harsh?" She bit her lip as the microwave dinged and she turned to open the door. "I mean..."

"Honey, don't do this." Steve looked at her, as she mixed the porridge around before testing the temperature. “You always second guess your decisions"

"I just feel bad." She shrugged as she carried the bowl over to the table. "I mean he doesn’t ask for a lot, he never gets in trouble or causes any problems, not like that Diva upstairs. Maybe, oh I dunno, ignore me. You're right."

“Here, I’ll do that.” Steve said gently, taking the bowl from her, allowing her to collect Jamie and Rori’s empty dishes. He sat down next to his youngest where he started to feed her, Flossie making excited noises at the first spoon full and Steve grinned, his face positively beaming as the baby eagerly took her porridge.

A minute or so later Katie placed a plate of toast and coffee down for him before grabbing her own and settling down to eat.

"You got many meetings today?" Steve asked, he himself having finished work the previous week.  Katie shook her head.

"Just going in to clear my inbox and wish everyone Merry Christmas. I'll be done by lunch. Not even worth me going to the Tower, but I want to say it in person. Plus Pep's gonna be there so..."

"Well, how about me, Harry and this little sprout come with you?  I can take them round Central Park for the morning and we can get something to eat when you're done." "Sounds good." She smiled. "Just don't tell the other two. Rori was already kicking off about the fact they get to stay home with you and she doesn't."

"Well Rori can get over herself." Steve scoffed taking a bite of toast as Katie snorted.

"That as maybe, but I’d rather not deal with a second disappointed kid this morning if I can help it."

"Don’t let it bother you.” Steve shook his head and Katie swallowed her coffee and wrinkled her nose.

"I just don't want him thinking we don't trust him. I mean is the park really a hard no? It’s not in a bad area and we can practically see it from the rooms upstairs."

Steve pondered for a moment. "I guess not. But it's a fair way to walk home from school. It’s a good twenty minutes or so. And there's a lot of roads to cross, not all of them safe."

"So maybe there's a compromise?" Katie looked at him. "What if we said no to the walk but yes to an hour or so play time? That way give him a little leeway, show him we trust him."

Steve took a deep breath "What you thinking?”

"Maybe if we dropped him and Seb at the park or something. I'll call Seb's mom, check she's okay with it, I mean he's staying here tonight but I don't want to do anything she isn't happy with. If she is then..."

Steve pondered what she was saying for a moment, grappling with his inner voice. On the one hand he knew Katie was right, Jamie was a good, responsible kid. On the other hand he worried. It was common knowledge Jamie was the son of two Avengers, and it still petrified him that it could result in someone using him to get to them. That said, just as with Emmy, he knew he couldn't bubble wrap him forever.

"Okay." Steve nodded. "See what Sebastian's parents say. If they’re fine then I guess we can run with it."

**** Half an hour or so later, Jamie and Rori were ready for school, Rori bounding around loudly singing ‘All I Want For Christmas’ whilst Jamie was a little more subdued, and Steve could tell he was fighting his desire to sulk at the fact they'd said no to his earlier request. Unlike Rori, Jamie rarely threw temper tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted. He merely retreated into himself a little, but recently he'd grown up even more and simply tried to get over whatever it was that was irritating him without trying to feel hard done by. Another sign he was growing up.

As he thanked Katie, albeit a little quietly when she told him she'd packed him an extra few pieces of cake to share with his friends, she glanced at Steve who nodded to her and she loudly made a show of taking Rori, Flossie and Harry to the car leaving Steve and his eldest boy alone as he locked up the house.

"Jamie," Steve locked the door and turned to him as Jamie stood patiently waiting at the bottom of the stoop. "Me and your Ma have had a chat, she talked to Seb's mom and we decided you can both go to the park." "Really?" Jamie's eyes lit up. "Yes but on a couple of conditions." "Sure Dad. Anything." "I pick you all up from school. We'll walk home, and I'll drop you off on the way through." Steve said, "You and Seb can walk behind or ahead of us, whatever, I don't care. Then you have to promise you call us to check in every fifteen minutes and it’s for an hour tops. And, as you said, dinner at five so make sure you're home." "Okay, I promise." "I trust you." Steve looked at him, nodding "So does your mom, don't give us reason not to"

"I won't." Jamie beamed at him as they walked to the car "Thanks dad."

Steve smiled and reached out, ruffling his hair which earned him a moan of complaint as Jamie pulled away.

"You're ruining my style!" He hastily shoved Steve gently in the side as he pushed his hands upwards to flatten it all back down and Steve chuckled before he studied his eldest boy, a conflicting feeling of happy sadness washed over him.

They were all growing up far too fast. **** At just gone midday, Steve strolled into the reception area of the once more named Stark Tower. He could have gone in the back entrance from the underground car park but Katie had told him to bring the kids into the foyer so they could see the tree, and he instantly knew why. It was stood next to the plinth in the middle of the large entrance rotunda which bore one of Tony's Iron Man suits that had been arranged in his signature palms out pose a few years back as a permanent memorial to his brother in law. The tree was huge, decked out in scarlet and gold, and the Iron Man suit had a Santa Hat on its head. He smiled, remembering the Christmas in the tower where he, Clint and Bruce had all taken it in turns to deck the Iron Legion bots out in the same hats, much to Tony's exasperation at the time.

"Look, Daddy!" Harry exclaimed excitedly as he spotted the hat "Uncle Nee is Santa!"

"I can see, buddy!" Steve chuckled as the young boy ran towards the suit, staring up at it. "Think it suits him?"

"Yep!" Harry nodded, his eyes focussed up before he turned to Steve. "I need one"

"A hat?" Steve asked, looking at him. “Well, I’m sure we can find one-“

"No, not a hat!” Jamie giggled “ A Iron Man suit."

Steve scoffed "No chance."

Just as Harry turned to look back at the suit once more, the elevator door opened and Katie walked out with Pepper. Pepper, as always, was dressed in a crisp grey suit and a pair of heels whereas Katie was in a pair of jeans, a Stark Industries hoody and a pair of knee high boots, her hair pulled back into a pony tail. Her coat was open and her scarf was loosely looped around her neck, woollen hat in her hands. Steve smiled at her as she greeted Harry who ran towards her and she picked him up. He gave his mom a kiss before he leaned over to wrap his arms around his Auntie's neck.

"Hi Sweetheart." Pepper beamed at him

"Hi Auntie Pep." He grinned before he wriggled a little so Katie placed him down as Steve approached giving her a soft kiss before he pecked his sister-in-law on the cheek.

"Hey Pep." He smiled as she gave him a hug.

"Hi Steve and hi baby!" She waggled her fingers at Flossie who beamed back and mimicked her actions. "God she's so big now."

"Yeah she's mastered the art of crawling. Poor Stark bolts from the room now to hide." Katie chuckled as she did up her coat.

"Auntie Pep, who put the hat on Uncle Nee?" Harry asked and Pepper looked at him, then to the Iron Man suit and snorted. "Your mommy"

"Why am I not surprised?" Steve looked at Katie and she shrugged.

"Tone loved Christmas much as me, he would approve." She tightened her scarf around her neck before she turned to Pepper "Can I change your mind about lunch?"

Pepper shook her head "I need to finish a few things then get to pick Moo up. But you guys enjoy and we'll see you in a couple of days for Christmas Eve."

"Sure?"

"Positive." Pepper nodded.

After bidding Pepper a good bye the four of them headed out into the cold December air and took their lunch at a little Italian not far from Grand Central. It was a nice way for Katie to finish work for the holidays and when they’d finished they took a walk so the younger kids could go and see the tree by the Rockefeller Centre. Flossie was mesmerised by ice skaters, Steve lifting her from the stroller so she could take a closer look whilst Harry tugged on Katie’s hand, pulling her closer to the tree to investigate.

Eventually it was time to head back to pick Jamie and Rori up from school. Katie dropped Steve by the gate where he collected them, plus Seb, and they set off on the twenty minute or so walk back, the two boys staying slightly ahead of him and Rori. As predicted, she begged for some time on the park and Steve acquiesced and they bounced from the swings to the slide before he told her it was time they headed home. He gave the boys strict instructions not to get into trouble or be late, and he left them to it, a gnawing, anxious feeling brewing in his chest as he made the three minute walk back to their house.

However, it all seemed to be okay. Jamie rang like clockwork as promised after fifteen minutes, then thirty, then forty-five, and when the security system sounded at the gate to announce that Jamie was home at three minutes to five, Steve finally relaxed.

That was until he heard Katie scream from the hallway.

“Jamie! Oh my God! What the hell happened?”

In a flash he was off the rug where he had been colouring with Harry and hurried into the entrance hall, stopping dead, his chest constricting as he saw his boy with a split lip, an already bruising cheek and eye and a slightly torn jacket collar.

“It wasn’t his fault Mrs Rogers.” Seb started to protest as Katie gently cupped Jamie’s face to examine his bruises.

“Are you hurt, Jamie?” Harry frowned as he looked at his brother from where he had followed Steve and Jamie shook his head.

“I’m okay Harry.”

“You don’t look okay.” Katie’s face was contorted in worry as Steve strode forward.

“Mom, I’m fine.” Jamie assured her “Honestly.”

“The other four boys aint.” Seb sniggered and at that Katie balked.

“Four? You were fighting with four other boys?” she stuttered and Steve gently touched her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down a little. Jamie was roughed up, he could see that, but after his initial shock he’d fast realised his boy’s injuries were superficial, and that most of the blood on his grey jacket wasn’t actually his…

“Honey, why don’t you go grab-“ Steve began but Rori cut him off, shocking Steve a little as he hadn’t realised she’d joined them.

“What’s in your coat?” she demand, pointed to the front of Jamie’s jacket. Steve glanced down and noticed that there was a slight bulge there, and it was moving.

“Jamie?” Steve nodded to it and Jamie looked up at him.

“They were hurting it.” He said softly, undoing his zip to reveal a tiny black and white kitten with bright blue eyes, and behind him, Steve heard Rori give a gasp.

“A kitty?”

“That’s why I got in the fight.” Jamie ignored his sister, his eyes fixed firmly on the kitten before he looked up at his mom. “I told them to stop but they were throwing stones at her and when she tried to run away they grabbed her tail and pulled her over. I think her leg is broken.”

“It’s true.” Seb insisted as Katie let out a sigh, gently reaching out for the cat which gave a loud shriek in protest as she picked it up.

“How do you know it’s a her?” Rori asked, her eyes fixed on the cat as Katie gently held it close to her chest.

“Because she doesn’t have a penis.” Jamie shot back and Steve gave an exasperated groan.

“Jamie!”

“What?” his son looked up at him. “It’s true!”

“Okay.” Katie cut over them both. “Take her by the fire to warm up.” She instructed, passing the protesting animal to Steve. He gently took the kitten, frowning as he could feel her bony spine as the tiny animal shivered in his large hand, from fright or cold, possibly both. “Jamie, into the kitchen so I can clean you up.”

“Mom, I’m sorry.” he sighed “I know you’re gonna be angry I was fighting but they really were hurting her.”

“I’m not mad.” She assured him, shaking her head “You did a good thing just…” she sighed trailing off “Go, kitchen.”

He looked at Steve who gave him a nod and he trudged off, Seb following.

“Hey, he’s okay.” Steve looked at her and she ran her hand over her face “Looks a damned site better than I used to when I came home to my Ma after a fight.”

“He was fighting four of them.” She practically squeaked and Steve took a deep breath.

“And from the looks of it, he came off better.” Steve mused, before Rori tugged at his jeans.

“Daddy can I see the kitty?”

“Me too!” Harry nodded eagerly.

“Go grab her a blanket from the cupboard under the stairs.” Steve instructed “And you can both sit with her in the lounge okay?”

“Okay!” Rori bounded off and Katie shook her head before she wandered into the downstairs bathroom and came out with the first aid kit. Without another word she headed into the kitchen where Jamie was shrugging off his jacket.

“Sit.” She instructed him, before she grabbed a bowl and filled it with warm water. Jamie obediently parked himself on a chair, Seb taking up the one on the other side of the table as Katie pulled a chair round and sat opposite her son and began to gently wipe his face with the cotton wool. He winced a little as she mopped the blood from around his lip and the dirt down the side of his face, taking care to be gently around his bruising cheek and eye, but other than that he showed no sign of injury. Just as she’d finished, and was retrieving an ice pack for him from the freezer, Steve walked into the room, stopping to examine Jamie’s face.

“That’s going to be an impressive black eye, son.” He mused, before he sighed, moving so his back was resting against the kitchen island, arms folded “So, what happened?”

“We were just about to head home, as it was cold anyway and we thought we’d come back a bit early but as we passed the corner there were four boys from the elementary school by the bush and they were prodding something with a stick.” Jamie began to explain, pressing the ice pack to the side of his face “When we passed I heard it crying so I told them to stop. They just swore at me and then one picked up a stone and threw it. That’s when I saw the cat and it fell over, making a horrible noise.” Jamie swallowed and bowed his head “Then when the pulled its tail, I just kinda lost it. I know I shouldn’t have done it but I pushed the one who had thrown the rock over and went to grab the cat, but then they all just started punching and kicking us.”

“I got a jab in.” Seb said, almost excitedly as Steve looked at him, arching an eyebrow, “But Jamie, man, he was something else. Took two down, WHAM, and then then pulled the third away from me. Then they all kinda ran away after that.”

“Elementary school.” Katie swallowed “How old were they Jamie?”

“One of them was Lisa Bradley’s older brother, she’s in my class.” Jamie mused, the ice pack pressed to his face “I think she said he was like 13 or something?”

“Not that it matters.” Seb grinned “Jamie’s like the same size as them, bigger than one of them actually.”

“I didn’t hit him.” Jamie shook his head “Just pushed him away when he swung at me.” He looked at his dad, pleading with his eyes for his father to believe him, which Steve did. His son wasn’t a liar. “I didn’t want to fight with someone smaller. You told me bullying is wrong.”

Steve took a deep breath, the pride welling in his chest “It is, son, but it sounds to me like he’s a bully, not you. Size isn’t everything all the time.”

Jamie shrugged, then his shoulders slumped “I ruined it didn’t I?”

“Ruined what?” Katie asked.

“You trusting me. You’ll never let me go to the park on my own again.”

Steve looked at Katie, before he turned to his son “I don’t recall us saying that.”

“But I got in a fight, and ripped my jacket. I know that was expensive and-”

“Jamie, we don’t care about your jacket.” Katie shook her head, “The rate you’re growing at it most likely won’t fit you for much longer anyway.” She sighed, “Look, hitting people isn’t right. And no, maybe you shouldn’t have started it but, we’re never going to get mad at you for standing up for yourself or someone, well something in this case, that needs help.” Katie looked at her son, smiling gently. “You did a good thing, fighting…well, I don’t like the fact you were involved in one but…”

“So you’re not gonna ground me?”

“No.” Steve shook his head.

“Even if their parent’s come round and start shouting and stuff?”

“We’ll worry about that if or when it happens.” Katie spoke, her voice was calm but Steve noticed her shoulders draw back a little and he had to fight the smirk on his face. She was an absolute hell cat where her kids were involved and he almost pitied the first parent to complain about Jamie’s behaviour. They’d feel the full on wrath of her Stark temper, and it wasn’t going to be pretty. With a deep breath she stood up, “Now, you boys thirsty? I got some peach tea if you want it?”

“My favourite!” Seb beamed “You’re the best Mrs R!”

With a soft smile, Katie gathered the bowl of dirty water and cotton pads and turned towards the sink. As she passed Steve he gently pushed away from the counter, reaching out to stop her. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she took a deep breath, as she saw the tension leave her body before she continued across the kitchen.

“I’ll go check on the cat, make sure Rori hasn’t dressed it in a tutu or something.” He said, making for the door.

“I think she needs to go to the vet.” Jamie looked at him, “She was hurt real bad.”

Steve looked at Katie as she had pulled the jug of tea from the fridge. “Okay, if she needs to go I can take her whilst you guys have dinner.”

“You sure?” Steve looked at her and she nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll call them, see if John Mason is working.”

“I like him.” Jamie nodded “He was really kind with Lucky, and he’s nice to Stark too.”

With a nod, Katie moved from the room, calling out to Rori and Steve made to follow, stopping by Jamie as he did so, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, Son.” Steve’s head cocked to one side as Jamie looked up at him “We both are.”

“Thanks Dad.” He smiled softly.

“Just, maybe try not to take four of them on at once next time.” Steve arched an eyebrow. “Not that there should be a next time, but if there is…just don’t. You’ll give your Ma a heart attack.”

******

 “It’s not broken.” John Mason said, looking a Katie. “Just dislocated. To be honest the malnutrition and dehydration is more of a worry along with the nasty infection she has in her ear. Poor thing has been through the wars.”

“Yeah, she feels very skinny.” Katie sighed “She going to be ok?”

“Next forty-eight hours will be critical.” The vet straightened up. “We’ll get her on a drip and see if we can locate an owner. She’s not chipped so chances are that won’t happen. But if she makes it we’ll get her in at the shelter.”

Katie nodded “Could you keep me updated on how she is? My son got into a bit of a punch up during his efforts to rescue her.”

Mason smiled “Absolutely.”

“Thanks. Oh and you can send the bill to me. I’ll front it, not the rescue.”

“That’s very kind Mrs Rogers.” he smiled “I’ll be in touch.”

Katie left the vets, rubbing her temple. She had a banging headache and needed a fucking stiff drink. She drove the short distance home, and frowned as she pulled up their drive. Steve was stood on the stoop, in full on Captain mode if his body language was anything to go by. His hands were on his belt buckle, broad shoulders squared, face set in a furious expression as he faced off against a pair of people stood at the bottom of the steps, the woman waving her hands excitedly. Katie let out a groan, as she would lay odds on these being the irate parents of one of the boys Jamie had been in a fight with, but her groan turned into a growl as the woman stepped up to Steve, pushing him in the chest. In a flash she was out of the car and ran over, gripping the lady by her hair and yanking her backwards down the stoop before she released her, shoving her harshly on the shoulder. The woman stumbled back a little, into the man who was stood there looking completely abashed, like he would rather be anywhere else. Katie pulled herself upright and glared at the pair of them before pointing at the sharp-faced woman, her eyes blazing with anger.

“Touch my husband again and I’ll break your arm.” Katie snarled, looking the woman up and down “Who the fuck are you?”

“Your son kicked the crap out of my boy!” The woman shrieked and Katie grimaced, her voice was as irritating as nails scraping down a black board. “I want to know what the hell you’re going to do about it.”

“As I pointed out, if your son hadn’t been part of a group throwing rocks at an animal, this wouldn’t have happened.” Steve’s voice was calm, but laced with authority.

“So you’re saying he deserved it?”

“I told you, James has been made perfectly aware that violence is not acceptable.” Steve avoided spitting out the yes that had flown into his mind, instead remaining as diplomatic and as calm as he could “But as far as we’re concerned, that’s end of the matter. So, if you don’t mind, I think you need to leave.”

“End of the matter?” the woman exploded “My son has got a broken nose, a black eye and he’s shaken up to heaven!”

Steve bit back the smirk that was threatening to spread across his face, the amusement that his ten year old really had managed to kick the crap out of a boy three years his senior really wasn’t appropriate but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t like bullies, in any shape or form.

“Oh, my heart bleeds.” Katie wasn’t quite as subtle, not that Steve expected anything else. As predicted, she was in full Momma Bear mode. Just like she was whenever anyone messed with her kids. “Go tell someone who cares, because I sure as hell don’t.”

"You know, it makes me want to barf the fact we’re all supposed to kiss your ass after everything that happened.” The woman scoffed and Katie simply looked at her, rolling her eyes. She’d heard it all before. “Fucking Katie Stark, married Captain America…” the woman continued, “parading around like she owns the place. God, you think you’re so special don’t you?”

At that Steve groaned as he saw Katie stiffen even more, her shoulders rolling back a little as she drew herself to full height, her body language one of a snake ready to strike, and he’d seen it countless times before, none of them ending particularly well for the other person involved.

“Not special, no.” Katie shook her head, her voice low and steely “But I’m certainly better than some piece of shit parent that brings their kid up with an attitude which makes them think it’s acceptable to not only harm a defenceless animal but be part of a gang of four boys who pick a fight with two kids three years younger than them.” She then stepped forward into the woman’s space and at that Steve hastily made his way down the stoop steps, ready to break up what he sensed was going to become another fight. “Now I suggest you get the fuck off my property before I drag you out of the gates myself, and trust me, patching up your son’s bruised ego at having the crap kicked out of him by a ten year old will be the least of your worries if that happens"

Steve slid his arm between the two women and gently moved Katie away. She acknowledged his touch, taking a step back but her eyes, which were blazing with anger, never left the woman in front of her. 

"Come on, Hallie..." the man next to her spoke

"Yeah, go on Hallie," Katie hissed, unable as usual not have the last word, "fuck off back to your troll cave and mark my words, your son goes near mine again and I’ll be the one stood on your door step. You got me?"

The woman swallowed, her face slipping before she turned and left, Katie’s eyes following them out of the gate.

“Stupid bitch.” Katie spat as she spun to Steve who shook his head, “What?”

“You’re scary when you’re angry.” He stated simply, raising an eyebrow.

“What do you expect?” She blazed. “Coming round here, shooting her mouth off, shoving you in the chest. I don’t like people touching my stuff. Fuck her.”

Steve chuckled and wrapped his arm round her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple and quickly changing the subject. “How’s the cat?”

“Vet says in a bad way but we’ll see. Her leg wasn’t broken but she’s poorly” Katie sighed, her demeanour calming somewhat as they stepped inside the house. “He said he’d call me when they have news.”

“Rori’s already been asking if we can keep her.”

Katie groaned “Why am I not surprised?” she paused as Steve shut the door. “So were they the only ones to turn up then or-“

“Yeah.” Steve nodded “I took a call off the parents of two others, but both were very apologetic when I explained what had actually happened.”

“How are you so calm about all this?” Katie stopped and looked at him. “It’s normally me that’s level headed when it comes to stuff they’ve done but-“

“Honey, I got my ass kicked all over Brooklyn.” Steve smiled gently, shrugging “As I said before, my Ma saw me in far worse states than Jamie came home in, and whilst I don’t like what happened, rightly or wrongly I’m kinda pleased that he’s way stronger than I was and can stand up for himself. Gives us a little less to worry about, don’t you think?”

Katie pondered his words for a moment before she let out a soft sigh. “I need a drink.”

**** Three days later on the Monday, after lunch, the entire Rogers family sat in the large living room watching Home Alone. Katie was curled up on one of the sofas her feet resting in Steve’s lap as he absentmindedly traced circles on the skin just above her right ankle, his eye focussed on the TV. Rori lay tucked up against his other side as she nestled into him, her legs hanging over the arm of the sofa whilst Emmy, Pete and Harry were sat on the larger sofa opposite, Harry perched on Emmy’s knee. Jamie was sprawled in the large armchair with Stark, his hand tangling in his faithful dog’s fur and Flossie was napping in her pack and play to the side of the room. Katie loved moments like this, having all her kids together, laughing and joking and chatting as they watched, every so often Steve making some kind of ‘dad’ remark that would earn him a groan in response, or cause Jamie and Emmy to exchange exasperated glances whilst he turned and winked at Katie, knowing exactly what he was doing.

This was what the holidays were all about to them both. Their family.

Feeling her phone vibrate, Katie shifted a little to locate it from down the side of the cushion and Steve looked at her, questioningly as she glanced at her phone.

“Be right back.” She said, leaving the room so as not to disturb them.

“Mrs Rogers, its John Mason.” The vet greeted her as she answered, shutting the door to the kitchen. “I just wanted to update you on Erica, the kitten you brought in.”

"Erica?" Katie blinked and the vet gave a little chuckle.

“Sorry, yeah, one of the vet nurses kinda nicknamed her and it stuck." The man's tone was almost apologetic. "It’s short for America. Cat-tain America to be specific" Katie let out a little groan of a chuckle “You know you'd really get on with my eldest daughter." The man laughed "Well, despite the odds being stacked against her I’m pleased to tell you she pulled through. She was extremely weak when you brought her in but she's healthy enough to be moved to the shelter tomorrow where they can continue to look after her until she hopefully finds a home" "Well I appreciate it. Thank you for letting me know. Are you emailing the bill over?” "No, there's no charge." The vet replied. "It’s Christmas after all. The time for good will and all that." Katie smiled "Well in that case I'll give an extra donation to the shelter. We normally take them something this time of year, especially seeing as that’s where our dog came from." "Yes how is Stark after we last saw him?" "He’s good." Katie turned her head to eye up the mutt in question who had followed her into the kitchen in the hope he was going to sneak some coveted human food, not a care in the world at the fact the last time he had snatched something he shouldn’t, it had cost them almost four hundred bucks and a Jamie melt down. "The sickness drugs obviously worked as he was fine. No chocolate poisoning thank God. I’d like to say it taught him a lesson on not eating things that are not meant to be eaten by him but sadly no, he still sticks his nose into everything, including my shoe closet. The vet laughed “Yes, they keep us on our toes. Well, lovely talking to you Mrs Rogers. Hopefully, no offence, but we won't see you soon and I hope you have a lovely Christmas." "You too. And thank you."

With that she put the phone back in her pocket and headed into the lounge.

“That was the vet.” She said.  Steve looked up at her, and the paused the film, all eyes turning to her. “The kitten is fine. She pulled through.”

“Well that’s good news.” Steve smiled, as Jamie gave a little grin and Rori cheered.

“They’re going to take her to the shelter tomorrow.”

“But it’s Christmas.” Rori said gently, her face falling. “She’ll be all alone.”

“She won’t” Katie assured her, knowing full well that she was as much of an animal lover as Jamie. “She’ll have other cat friends. Hey, they even gave her a name, they like her that much so…”

“What?” Rori asked.

“Erica.” Katie grinned, her eyes flicking to Steve “Short for Cat-tain America.”

At that Steve let out a groan as Peter and Emmy both snorted, Jamie howling with laugher but Rori’s face remained deadly serious.

“They should have called her Emmy.”

“Why?” Emmy looked at Rori who gave a shrug.

“Because she’s like you.”

“What, has a furry face and whiskers?” Pete quipped, causing Jamie to howl even more. Steve gave a grin as Pete easily dodged the blow Emmy aimed to the back of his head, his spidey senses telling him it was coming.

“No.” Rori rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically “I mean because she was all alone too until Jamie found her, just like you were until momma and daddy found you” she looked at her sister, the expression on her little face serious as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Steve and Katie exchanged a look, both of them sideswiped by Rori’s comment.

“I just hope she’s as lucky as you were.” Rori shrugged. “And that she finds a family that’s kind to her.” With that she turned back to the TV. “Now, can we finish the movie?”

“Erm, yeah.” Steve pressed play again and Katie excused herself to start dinner. He waited a few minutes before he headed out into the hallway to see Katie hastily pulling on her jacket.

“I need cheese for the lasagne.” She looked at him and he arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah, right. Cheese.”

She shrugged and headed out of the door, and Steve turned to see Jamie stood behind him.

“Ten bucks says she’s coming back with the cat.” Jamie spoke and Steve snorted.

“First rule of gambling, you bet on a cert not against it. No deal.” He folded his arms as Jamie grinned “Not a word to your sister until your mom gets home or we won’t hear the end of it.”

***** About forty minutes or so later the system announced that Katie was home and Steve and Jamie exchanged a look. A few moments later Katie called them all out into the hallway and Steve watched as Rori and Harry shot out first, the rest following, as they heard Rori gave a shriek.

“Are we keeping her?”

“An early Christmas gift from Jamie to everyone.” Katie smiled as she crouched down and opened the little cat carrier and reached in for the kitten, which looked a damned site better than when Steve had last seen her.

“Jamie, you’re the best!” Rori turned to her brother and hugged him tightly. Jamie grinned and hugged her back before Rori turned round and held her arms out, Katie handing the kitten over.

“Hi Erica!” Rori beamed at the cat who looked at her, then around the room blinking before giving a tiny meow.

“Okay, look, if the cat’s staying can we at least think of a better name?” Steve pleaded, before he smiled and looked at Katie “What about T’Challa?”

Katie laughed as his suggestion was met with a resounding chorus of protest.

“Nope.” Rori shook her head, looking at him. “It’s bad luck to change an animal’s name. And now we have a dog named after Uncle Nee and momma, and now a kitty named after you.” She shrugged, her attention turning back to the cat and Steve watched Erica batted slightly at the little coloured woollen balls that adorned Rori’s sweater. Rori gave a giggle, gently pressing her nose to the cat’s head.

In the corner of his eye, Steve noticed a flash of white and tan fur but before he could do anything, Jamie grabbed Stark’s collar to stop him jumping all over Rori and the kitten.

“You’ll have to take them into the lounge so they can meet each other.” Katie instructed and Jamie nodded.

“Come on, I’ll help.” Emmy smiled.

“Me too, I love cats!” Peter grinned, and together they all headed into the lounge, Rori talking excitedly about all the tricks she was going to teach her new pet, leaving Steve and Katie alone in the hall.

“Funny looking cheese.” Steve quipped, as he looked down at the bag of items from the pet store, finally meeting his wife’s eyes with a smirk as she looked at him, her expression a little sheepish. “And after all that abuse you gave me last week over saying maybe.”

“Shut up.” She mumbled, and then with a grin she moved and slipped her arms round his neck. “I’ll make it up to you later.”

“Oh, I know you will.” He smirked, his hands resting on her hips. “And for the record, the next time you say that our little Diva knows how to play me, I’m totally gonna remind you of this.”

“I don’t doubt it for a second, Soldier.” She grinned, pulling his head down towards hers, kissing him deeply, “But for the record, it was the name that totally did it.”

“Sure it was.”

“That and the fact it’s black and white.” She grinned, a mischievous look in her face “Like your beard.”

“Well for that I’m definitely shaving.” His lips brushed against hers and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Please don’t.” she whispered, her teeth nipping at his jaw line, her mouth sliding softly down his neck and Steve gave a little moan, his fingers flexing on her hips.

“Well, maybe you can convince me to keep it.” He spoke softly, as once more his lips claimed hers.