#okay a brief story/rant time

[varjopeura]

.

[unknownunidentified101]

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

SCENARIO || In which he confines in you after experiencing so many lifetimes of you

WARNINGS || angst to fluff . Spoilers from the story

CHARACTERS || Rafayel, Zayne and Xavier

𝗭𝗔𝗬𝗡𝗘 ||

In his eyes he witnessed a blurry yet clear person ahead of him. The more he reached out, the more they seemed to walk away. “ forget me..dear Zayne” they muttered as a farewell. That beautiful tone was one that Zayne could never forget

Zayne reached out a hand, his chest felt like stopping right there, as if to keep the moment frozen in time. “ wait..” he manages to break his silence

The figure ahead spares no glances to him and continues into the ever lasting light. Zayne reached out his hand, his feet unable to move before he hears a voice call out to him

“ Zayne?” A worried tone cooed over him. Zayne’s eyes blink and they adjust to his surreal environment. “ your awake! Thank god, thought you were dead” he hears your voice

“ what..?” He manages to find his glasses beside him. “ you never sleep. Usually your awake” you grumble to the bewildered man

Zayne tries not to sound rude or harsh, “ what are you doing here?” He tries to back track to what he was doing before

“ I was worried. You haven’t picked up my calls. You haven’t ate either! And I’m pretty sure it’s time for you to go home” you rant. Zayne finds his lips curving upwards

Your voice still sounded like heaven to him.

“ now that you’re fine, I’ll leave this to you, the nurse told me to give it to you.” You sensed the silence Zayne was emitting. It felt suffocating.

Zayne’s eyes follow you as you quickly shuffle to his door. He then realises the person in his dreams were you. He still didn’t want to let you go just yet.

“ wait-“ Zayne springs out his chair and tugs your wrist

“ huh. What is it Zayne?” Your stare averting. His eyes weren’t as cold as before, they seemed to carve for something something. “ please…stay for a while” Zayne found himself silently begging

“ where’s this behaviour from?” You find yourself giggling at his request. “ …okay!” You give in after some silence

Before you could take another step, your eyes stuck out to him.

Your gaze was familiar, Zayne engulfs you into a tight embrace. “ I want you to look at me with those eyes forever ” he whispers in your ears

He means the eyes you gave when you were in awe or in love. He adores your eyes, just like in his past life, those eyes gave him so much closure. It didn’t matter who you laid your eyes on, he just wanted your eyes on him

You didn’t get him now, and you thought you would never get him. “ what eyes? ” you pat his shoulders

XAVIER ||

“ I don’t get your obsession with stars” you huff, crossing your arms

“ stars..?” Xavier repeats after you, his tone lacing with worry. “ I don’t know, you always look at those star charms and I saw some stickers in your apartment” you remark

Xavier’s lips quiver, stars. He smiles at your comment. You looked completely clueless to him, considering you started his obsession with stars a long long time ago.

“ their cute” he only states

“ cute? Okay..” you try to hide your excitement

“ does it bother you?” Xavier’s head tilts downward, his curiosity peaking at your sneaky comments. “ it’s just…I got this for you” you pull out a star charm

Xavier’s lips part, he is more than shocked at receiving a gift from you, it all happened so fast. “ I thought you would like it, considering you like stars” you try to hide your embarrassment

Xavier pauses for a brief moment, his memories haunt him like the flu. ‘ have this’ he still remembers your voice. The voice that offered him the very same charm. No matter how far he was from the stars, he would find you again and again.

He would go above and beyond to finally lay his eyes on you. No matter how you part, you will be reunited with him

“ do you not like it?” You were met with mere silence. Xavier snaps out of his daze and looks back at you. “ I love it” his tone is sincere

“ really..?” You felt proud

Xavier hides the sadness in his tone, “ I love it. So much” he adds. “ can I hug you?” He questions

You are a bit taken back at his comments. “ hug me?” You repeat

“ yes, as a thankful gift” Xavier waves his new charm to you. “ okay” you nod. Xavier pulls you closer without any more questions.

He wanted to be bound to you forever. No matter how many lifetimes it took him.

His hands lay on your head and waist. Now that you couldn’t see his face, his eyes soften. They threatened to cry

“ I knew you would come back.”

RAFAYEL ||

“ poor fish” he dismisses, only giving a glance to the fish in the tank. “ trapped without any freedom” he crosses his arms

“ reminds me of someone” you mutter, your fingers gazing over the glass

“ what makes you say that?” Rafayel’s interest is peaked, he looks back at you

“ I don’t know. I just felt like saying it. I don’t even know what I mean” you found it silly to think such thoughts

Rafayel takes a moment to admire your laughs. Reminds you of someone? Did you mean him? It all made sense considering what happened in your past life. Yet you didn’t remember an ounce of it.

Poor Rafayel. He hated waiting and for you to forget him made his heart ache uncontrollably. Yet, at least you were back together

“ at least the fish has someone with it” Rafayel points out a valid point. The fish was not alone in that tank, swimming with another fish. “ perhaps” you agree, staring back at Rafayel

“ is there anything else you wanted to do today?” You wondered, your mind thinking of all the possibilities. “ thinking about me my bodyguard ?” Rafayel teases

“ well you insisted today was special. So I took you out as a gift” you pouted, unaware today was the day you made a vow. A special vow with Rafayel before he could walk

“ what if I asked you for a even more unique gift?” Rafayel tilts his head. You look at him, clearly confused

“ can I get it right now?” You looked around for any stores. Rafayel shakes his head and takes your hand in his, stroking it softly

“ you’re the only one who has it you know” he trails off. “ what do you want?” You were keen to know what he wanted

“ the rest of my life with you” he mutters back.

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Hello there! 👋🏽 If you don’t mind, I was wondering if I could make a request with Tech? With maybe a bookworm reader if that’s okay? I feel like it would be a cute dynamic! Thank you and have a good day! 🙏🙌

Bookworm

Tech x Reader

Summary- You and Tech have a moment alone on The Marauder. What better way to spend it than reading! Accompanied by Tech on his datapad, of course.

A/N- It's totally okay!!! I figured the best format for this kind of request was bullet point- but I am not very good at those. So, i compromised with this! Hope you enjoy, thanks for requesting!

Word Count- 990

Hunter, Omega, Wrecker, and Echo had all left the ship to go look for some dinner. A job you all completed recently left you with some spending money. You figured everyone deserved a real meal for once.

It left you and Tech alone in The Marauder. You could have easily went to hang out at Cid's bar, but you couldn't stand to be around her. You hated the way she poked fun at Tech's goggles.

Only you were allowed to call him 'goggles.'

The thought only temporarily distracted you from your book. You quickly resumed reading, only to realize you had to restart the whole page. This time actually process what you're reading! You thought to yourself.

Grumbling, you squeezed your eyes shut and straightened up in your seat. You happened to take a spot in the co-pilots chair. Tech always sat in the pilots.

"Something the matter?" Tech asks, not looking up from his datapad.

It was sweet, that he noticed your small movements. "Just trying to focus, I lost my place." You finally found a comfortable position, situating your book back in your hands.

"It can help to fidget with one hand, to increase your chances of focus." He informed, per usual.

You smiled up at him, he glanced up from the pad when he felt your gaze on him. He flashed a very brief smile- more of a grin, it was all you needed though.

You listened to him rant about his findings on 'focus' for a few minutes, knowing anyone else would have shut him up by now. Him talking never bored you or made you uncomfortable, despite many others complaining.

"Thank you, Tech." You simply said, returning to your book. He seemed pleased enough and went back to tinkering on his datapad.

A newfound silence came over, you read your book in peace. The story of the thieves with powers fighting the government amused you. What amused you more was the fact you had personally been on more dangerous missions, yet the book still captured you.

It was nice to imagine yourself in their place, even when you wouldn't change what you have for the word.

You'd go on a million death defying missions if it meant you were with Tech.

While you typically could put down over 50 pages in an hour, Tech interrupted you again. Not with any other intentions than to please you.

"Yes?" You responded after he called your name.

He reached in a compartment to the left of the console. A place Tech used to store his latest experiments.

He pulled out a neatly wrapped gift. It had swirls of color on the paper that wrapped it. He said nothing, just handed the rectangular item to you.

"For me?"

"That would be correct."

You tried to fight the corners of your mouth rising, but it was no use. Tech watched you violently, showing little expression.

You gently took the paper off, not wanting to make a mess of his careful work.

You slowly revealed it to be a new book, the fourth book in the series to the one you were just reading.

"Tech, I- I thought it was a limited edition! There was only a hundred made across the galaxy!" You looked in his deep brown eyes.

"Yes, it is." He confirmed.

"H-how did you get it!" You were baffled, the thought he put into your gift- and for no special occasion.

"It was not difficult. I was able to track all the shipping numbers to their respective planets, and when we had a mission on one- I located the book through its buyers." He said, nonchalantly. Like he didn't easily buy one of the most rare books you knew of.

"Why? Did I miss an anniversary?" You were slightly confused on why he gave you the gift. You hoped you weren't supposed to also have a gift prepared.

"Uh, no. You mentioned exactly 129 rotations ago that you wanted the book. I saw no problem in getting it." He remembered...

You were moved to small tears, now flowing down your cheeks.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yes, Tech. Of course I am." You rose to your feet, throwing yourself on him in a big hug. He hugged you back. While he didn't completely understand your acclimation to physical affection- he didn't mind you doing as you pleased to him.

He gently patted your back, and you pulled away. "Thank you, i'm going to have to finish this book quickly now. I can't wait to read it..."

"You are welcome." He responded, you let him be and lifted yourself off of him. He grabbed his datapad and clicked away.

What you didn't know was that sometimes Tech would watch you read. In times like these, when you found yourself sitting or laying next to each other. You reading, him on his datapad.

He would study your face, taking in every expression. He would think about what you were reading- was it sad, happy, thrilling? Feelings were a trivial matter to him, but he was always thinking of ways to make you happy.

He loved it when you read, sometimes out loud to him. It was soothing to hear your voice when he worked on a project or was fixing a part on The Marauder.

The way you tapped your foot, or bounced your leg when you got to a complex part in a book. Or, when you were both laying down together and accidentally hit Tech in shock at a twist in the story. He loved every bit of it.

You turned back to your original book, now more determined than ever to finish it.

You did, however, catch Tech staring this time. You met his gaze, a wide smirk on your face. You couldn't help but giggle briefly. He gave you an odd look, but went back to his datapad. Just as you went back to your book.

A/N- Thank you so much for reading! Requests are about to be open, just one more to fulfill! As always, I am open to constructive criticism.

Tags- (LMK if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @knight-of-flowerss

[angelofsmalldeaath]

If i could be extremely indulgent i’d love to request a fic.

Reader in in the last few weeks of her internship (nursing) and also graduating. Mentally and physically so tired but a lot left to do. Andrew starts making her food to take with her, when she falls asleep on the couch in the evening takes her upstairs or just listens to her rant about the horrible assignments left.

ps. I love your stories they bring me such joy

okay so i'll be really honest, i have no idea how nursing internships work. i've tried my best to look it up but i'm sure this is riddled with factual errors. regardless... i hope you enjoy ♡︎

cw: nothing i can think of apart from brief mentions of food, fem!reader

“can i come in, darling?” he knocks on the door softly, peeking in first to make sure she’s awake. she is. barely. trying to shield herself from the sunlight streaming in by hiding her face in the pillow. the sight makes him smile. “i got you something to eat.”

a lump shuffles under the blanket, a head peeks out followed by a soft hmph. 

“come on, darling, it’s four already,” he closes the door behind him and walks up to her. then he sets the bowl on the table and sits on the bed. 

“fuck, already?!” she grumbles, and moves away from the pillow only to squish her face in the side of his thigh. 

“can i have five more minutes?”

“are you sure you can afford that?”

she groans again, louder than the last time. “i hate this internship!”

“no, you don’t.” he laughs and slides some of her hair off her face until he can see at least a bit of it. “come on, now. if you get up now you can eat in peace before you have to leave.”

with great effort, she peels an eye open and looks at him, blinking against the sunlight. “what did you get me?”

“why don’t you get up and see?”

“ugh,” she pouts, “traitor.”

he waits patiently after that, stifling a giggle when she hisses against the direct sunlight on her face and stretches like a cat before propping herself up against the pillows. his heart aches a little too—there are bags under her eyes and tired lines etched onto her face. the last few weeks really have been the hardest on her. 

“gorgeous,” he smiles, and kisses her head softly. 

she grins at him, toothy and infections and looks to the nightstand for food. her eyes fall on the bowl, a gasp echoes in the room. 

“you peeled me a pomegranate?!”

“two pomegranates,” he corrects proudly. “they were quite small.”

“awww,” she grabs his face, kissing him sweetly, “you’re a mother hen!”

he watches her when she pops a few seeds in her mouth—six, just like persephone. even though it’s not enough to make her stay. “good?”

“delicious…”

for a while, she’s quiet, eating spoonfuls of the pomegranate seeds. he declines when she offers him some. these are for her, he’s just content watching. 

“when will you be back?” he traces a circle on her knee and takes the bowl from her once she’s done eating. 

she pouts again, this time in earnest. “not until tomorrow. 8 am i think.”

“oh…”

“you have to sleep alone tonight. and…what was that? the birds—”

“don’t chirp,” he finishes for her, laughing. “the colours dim. it’s a proper tundra.”

in the quiet of the room she buries her face in his chest. he can even hear a little sniff, but he doesn’t tease her about it—for one he’s busy burying his nose in her hair until all the air in his lungs smells like her shampoo. 

“thank you,” she whispers. 

“for the fruit?” 

she snorts and nods. “sure. and everything else. for carrying me to bed when i fell asleep on the settee, for letting my cry out my frustrations.” she pulls back a little and cradles his cheek. “for taking care of everything in the house so i’d have time to rest. seriously—”

he tuts when she chokes a little and swallows roughly. “you’d do the same for me. you have done the same for me. when i’m so close to album deadlines i don’t even have the time to breathe, when i’m so tired from being on the road i can’t even lift my head. we are a team, sweet girl.” 

she nods, lets him steal a kiss. her skin is sun-warmed by now, gorgeous and glowing in the golden light. she need to get up and start getting ready if she has to leave on time. but the thought of letting her out of this bed breaks his heart. 

“a few more weeks,” he whispers in her hair and kisses her head again. a few more weeks. it’s for him just as much as it is for her.

“and then it’s over.”

“you’ll miss it when it’s done,” he teases. “i know you.”

“i can still complain about it now though!”

he laughs at that, kissing her knuckles one last time when she finally gets out of bed, groaning and stretching, on her way to get ready. “as much as you want,” he smiles. “i’ll sit here and listen.”

[darkrooklobby]

🦜Apollo Justice trilogy (the rant/analysis)🎵✨

Welcome! Allow me to specify what this rant is about:

The game, Apollo Justice (2007 - 2008)

The characters (Apollo, Phoenix, and the Gavin brothers)

The wasted potential (i.e. the other games) (I'm most familiar with AA1-4 the others i've briefly looked at)

Just angry thoughts at 3am

[⚠️SPOILERS FOR APOLLO JUSTICE + TRILOGY!⚠️]

[also the ⚪bulleted points⚪ are facts, the rest is my subjective yapping]

Before I begin my rant, here's some basic information about the game's development:

It's the last game directed by Shu Takumi. The rest of the trilogy is directed by his assistant (Takeshi Yamazaki) meanwhile Shu was busy with the Professor Layton crossover + The great ace attorney.

Capcom literally demanded to insert Phoenix into the game. Shu was against putting Phoenix in, feeling that his story has already come to a natural conclusion, stating, "I felt that Phoenix's story had been told, and that the series should not continue. Knowing when to end a story is very important and I wanted to avoid dragging it out and having it become a shadow of its former self." (Takumi)

In the end, Shu was forced to put Phoenix in, and we got hobo Phoenix, or as I like to call him, Beanix.

Okay so, a brief pause. From what we already know, there is a conflict of interests during development. We have a small group of artists that did a small project called ✨Ace Attorney✨ and then the corporate realized they're sitting on a goldmine. Capcom did not want their mascot, their cash cow, Phoenix Wright, to go just yet. Shu (who wanted a fresh start, and creative freedom) was torn, his team was torn between letting Phoenix go and bringing him in, and you notice that in the game as it goes back and forth. It goes between Phoenix being a main character, interfering, or disappearing for long periods of time. It was on and off, just like their arguments - corporate vs. creative freedom, old vs. the new.

It creates an... odd atmosphere throughout the game. This indecision and forcefulness. Opinions vary 🙃

The corporate unfortunately won. We had Phenix back, not in his former glory, but as a character. (Result? Apollo feels less like a protagonist, suffering, feeling irrelevant in his own game. Not always, of course! But most of the time...)

Facts continue! Apollo Justice (AA4) is the last game with 2D sprites, with some rare 3D elements. (Like Cheeto Klavier🧡)

btw, here's some name puns and meanings:

Apollo is literally named after the god of truth.

"Klavier" means "Piano" in German 🎹 - his Japanese name, Kyoya, means, "to echo/resound".

Kristoph's Japanese name, Kirihito (霧人), when reversed (人���り - hitokiri) literally translates to "the killer".

Trucy's name pun, Trucy Wright, is supposed to sound like "see-through" (tru-through cy-see)

Lamiror = mirror, Wocky Kitaki = Walkie-Talkie, Drew Misham = Draw-me-a-sham, etc.

Okay, so. About the 1️⃣first case1️⃣: It's a widely accepted opinion that the first trial is the best one, and it's hard to disagree. It's a completely new thing (almost as if Shu was planning on starting an entirely new trilogy without Phenix Wright! Can you imagine?!--) and because the first trial is so good, with a great twist and a fun conclusion, other trials pale in comparison. Let's see, we have a new quirky protagonist (he's fine) a gentleman for a mentor (a character with depth, as we will come to know) a fallen attorney with shady history (Mr. Phenix Wright) along a complex, yet understandable, mystery. What is lovely about the first case is that it makes you think just enough, the trial flows nicely for the sub-plot to come out, and the twist is perfect.

Of course, I imagine that Japanese players might have seen the twist coming a bit earlier, looking at Kristoph's name-pun, but all-in-all it's a great start! The question is - is it a great start for the new franchise that Shu wanted to make? Is it a great start for Apollo as an attorney and as a character? ...Or, is it a great start, for the old greedy company to push good old Phoenix back into spotlight and collect more money? 🤔🤔🤔

Here's some facts about the direction the game hoped to take:

The game delved into darker themes on purpose, like a "grown up" version of Ace attorney for the next generation. It was hoping to shift the tone from the previous three games more towards realism. (AA1 was a bit comedic, we cross-examined a parrot, the crimes were less complex compared to AA3. With AA4, the idea was to make AA3 but better.) It tried to set Apollo as a more independent lawyer, trusting no one, without any mentor (like Mia in previous games) coming back every other case.

With the first case, Apollo becomes independent in a sense, but... well.

Apollo basically third-wheeled in Phoenix/Kristoph divorce. That's basically what happened in that trial. Somehow, we managed to shift all the attention from Apollo's character growth into these two men. Apollo's independent now because he got left alone in the trash while the AA team tries to figure out what the fuck to do with Phoenix and how to shove the whole thing together.

The entire game was made with the idea of change, a fresh start & fresh blood in mind! We don't get much character growth from the main characters AT ALL because, at some point in development, there was a decision made: They thought they will make a sequel. AA games so far relied on story continuity, chronological events, time passing, characters evolving, events making an impact on the characters, etc.

Apollo Justice, a beginning game of a trilogy, was written specifically in a way to have a sequel. There were things left unanswered for a reason. They took things slow, and the idea of the sequel was planned to go more into the Gramarye troupe, Gavin brothers, and Apollo's family. (Shu even had an entire backstory written for the Gavin brothers, but it was scrapped by the new team) (I'll get into it later.) This was also the reason why the game had potential, but never went all the way. The plot was more complex, and was made specifically with a direct continuation in mind, which never came to pass. We instead got... an entire rework. (again, i'll get into it later 😂)

Some art facts, since i'm an artist: They were thinking over a few variants of the character designs before they settled on the current ones. They wanted to have a protagonist more energetic than Phoenix, more blunt, an idealist, less bluffing, like a new generation kid kinda-thing. Apollo has distinct spiky hair, is different, is less tall, has a wide forehead... did you know, the design team had a few designs with different forehead wide-nesses? Wild. Apollo's color scheme is Godot's inverted, and as far away from Phoenix's dark blue design as possible (gee I wonder why...)

(Also, the Gavin brothers originally had two mirrored pointy hair-swirls, resembling pharaoh head covers, and I think that's dope as hell)

Either way, you must admit that the designs for this game are more detailed, colorful, animated, and beautiful. Honestly!!! 💖 The art direction did splendidly, and I'm glad at least that aspect wasn't affected by the disagreements of the company vs. writers :)

Fun fact: The game sold well, actually. Back in the day, people were into original ideas, instead of everything getting a live-action remake nobody asked for, an animated reimagining, and an unnecessary second part. (...Can you tell I'm dissing Disney? You can.)

Now that I'm at a point where I can speak of continuations, let's see what happened: The game released as is. It had a story, sometimes a bit awkward because of the team vs. company disagreements being physically felt through the script. People bought it and the fandom was immediately split down the middle into various factions. (Again, I was young, but this point of contention is strong even today.)

People who liked the new ideas, characters, and plot, and liked Phoenix Wright being there.

People who liked the new ideas, characters, and plot, but disliked Phoenix Wright's presence. (my stance right now)

People who disliked the new things because they wanted the same old Phoenix Wright games. They wanted everything that has already concluded, to continue. (my stance 6 years ago - Since it wasn't believable that a guy like Phoenix Wright, with so many friends, would end up like this. It was so unrealistic to me, so odd, that I refused to see this game as canonical. Literal denial 🥲🥲🥲)

People who disliked the game despite being ready for new content, just because.

Next up, 7 YEARS PASS.

Yup. The disagreement, the dissatisfaction from the creators vs. company, split fan reactions, despite a fine profit, caused a change of direction, and a rift. Characters and story-lines forgotten. Literally.

The next entries after Apollo Justice don't mention the events of it -because of a company-enforced "no spoiler/connection" restrictions. Capcom created the restriction to appeal to new fans, while not spoiling previous games so they might be compelled to play them. (Again, corporate wins over… continuity, this time.) - Which means the bare minimum of character growth and history we could have seen IS NOW GONE and will never be brought into relevancy again. (unless I missed something from the 3D games, in which case let me know.)

And we get a complete overhaul, while going back to the classic AA, but this time we get a new cast to focus on and begin again and we pretend Apollo Justice doesn't exist! (Rant number 4, here we go 🥴)

My main rant so far would be about wasted potential and creative differences. Yes, they weren't strong enough to do a clean break from the past (Capcom forcing Phoenix back, not letting him "die" even though his story concluded) Yes, there's wasted potential because character growth of the protagonist is stunted by greed and confusion (Capcom demands? Fine. Phoenix must be here to appeal to all fans, for all the money. Ok. Cool. We can't be creative anymore and original ideas are shunned! 2008? Bah, nothing has changed in 2024!) and yes, the game's story suffers because of this, despite being very pleasing to look at (the sprites & animations don't hit quite the same anymore.)

I'm not even gonna go into how Apollo was forgotten and suddenly he has four backstories because he failed to establish himself solid in his introductory game without a planned sequel, and Capcom was like "Oh shit this guy exists, um, what do we do" - while also refusing to address and build upon plot points existing in the main game: Apollo had history in court. He had a character building event of incarcerating his mentor. Apollo already had family, which hasn't told him anything yet. He had Trucy. He had a courtroom rival, which he promised to rid of darkness. He gained a new mentor, a shady one, who he punched to the face! He saw the dark side of the law. He saw the "dark age of the law". He saw a better way to do things and fix the system with a jury, which was used once and forgotten about. He had a goal. He had potential... - but then he has been rebuilt and redesigned four times, given things he already had and replaced them and Capcom pulled a nonexistent best friend out of their ass out of nowhere just to give Apollo fake-depth and use (i had to look him up) CLAY TERRAN as A ONE-OFF PLOT POINT and I HATE BAD WRITING LIKE THAT, MAKING A CHARACTER that's just there for that one purpose and---🤬

I'm also not gonna go into the fact that a case-specific NPC gets more character growth than the main cast.

And I also won't rant about the 3D continuations of AA. All I'm gonna say is that, they shouldn't be under a name "Apollo Justice Trilogy" because, what the fuck happened to that guy. Who is he even? What? What game are you basing this on? Who?

The game was like a failed start to do something new... and not achieving it, stopping short of crossing the final line bravely.

This was 3 am. yapping, I hope to inspire discussion, roast my opinions I love to argue over nerdy shit 💖🥰💖

(sources: Ace Attorney Wiki, VGfacts, NezumiVA, AA_Facts on Twitter)

[fencecollapsed]

once again thinking about Hey Melissa because this story lives in my brain like a little worm that wants to slowly kill me. anyway I've thought of exactly what changes I think would've made the story work better in my opinion so uhh here's my Hey Melissa script doctor I guess djskfjdsk

cut Paul's dog story. I get what the intention was, it's meant to be a full-circle thing at the end, but I just don't think it works the way it was meant to. it muddies the story too much and makes Melissa's motivation more complicated than it needs to be. if in every timeline she's trying to kidnap Paul to keep him as a dog (and she hates and kills dogs), why is this framed as her breaking point? why does she like him at all? and why does him just meowing convince her? cut all that, simplify it. Paul's a cat from the start. give her little club a bit of a clearer and simpler base logic: men they hate are kept as dogs, men they like are kept as cats. Melissa's been wanting a cat for so long, and she's had her eyes on Paul, and she's finally got him where she wants him.

Paul still denies that he's as good of a person as Melissa thinks he is, but instead of telling the dog story, have him just. lose his temper and be kind of a dick to her. he wanted to let her down easy, but she just keeps pushing. goddammit Melissa, he'd like you more if you'd drop this. he's made it clear he's not interested. she's not his type, he doesn't like the things she does. they're not compatible. and he's dating Emma right now anyway. can she please just let this go and stop pestering him so they can at least stay friends? Melissa's clearly upset, barely holding back tears, but says she understands. Paul now feels guilty, asks if there's anything he can do. Melissa asks him to feed her dog. the dog is Ted, and Melissa knocks Paul out. Paul wakes in the cage, afraid he's going to be defingered like Ted, but Melissa assures him no, she would never declaw a cat. Ted's a dog, see, he's a nasty, filthy dog pretending to be a man, he needed to be taken off the streets to keep everyone else safe. but Paul? Paul's a sweet kitty who's just confused and thinks he's a man, thinks he knows what he wants, thinks he's happy. thinks he doesn't like her back. he broke her heart, but that's okay, he's just a feral cat who doesn't understand that he's safe with her. he bit and scratched her because he doesn't know what love really is. he just needs to be trained and socialized. in time he'll understand that all Melissa wants is to love him, and he'll come to love her, too.

add like. one scene or moment to ground the tone and force the viewer to sit in how horrific this would actually be. one mention of Ted's wounds being infected, or the guys being cold and malnourished. just like, a single line, or a brief exchange between Ted and Paul would be enough. keep it light and absurd the whole rest of the time, but one moment that takes the situation more seriously would add a lot, I think.

have Emma bitch Melissa out after their exchange. do not have her just walk away crying, let her get MAD. let her rip into this freak who's boasting about having stolen her guy. who does Melissa think she is?? someone who deserves a cup of milk to the face, Emma thinks. it's full of spit, by the way. fuck you. and fuck Paul. you assholes deserve each other. and Emma starts crying then, at the end if her rant, and realizes she's. a lot more hurt than mad, actually. more hurt than she'd expect to be about Paul. fuck, she'd thought there was something special about him. but he's just another asshole. and then she storms out crying.

foreshadow Paul's decision to stay with Melissa. one moment of him starting to kind of like being here. she's scratching his chin, or petting his hair or something, and he's enjoying it a little. has to snap himself out of it, like he forgot for a moment that this is a waking nightmare. would give the ending more of an ambiguous terror, that maybe it's not just the bump on his head, and there was something in him that was being won over, because we saw it.

at the end Paul apologizes to Melissa for breaking her heart, thanks her for being patient with him. he always wanted to be a good man, but he never believed he was. but Melissa believed he was a good cat, and now he is. she made him what he could never be on his own. and to make up for hurting her, he'll be hers until he dies.

[agendabymooner]

pag-ibig, traducido (love, translated) || cs55 fic

carlos sainz x ofc (filipino!content creator!ofc)

EXTENSION TO RIDE HOME

Summary: Magdalena ‘Magda’ and Carlos Sainz can bring the two worlds together through words and actions. OR, moments in which the Filipino woman and her Spanish husband learned to love each other while learning more about what they know about themselves. 

Content warning: Use of explicit language, shitty Tagalog/Filipino and Spanish translations, a lot of Spanish colonial and Filipino history jokes, parental abandonment, brief reference to religious and cultural practice (weddings), mentions elopement, secret marriage, briefly mentions PR relationships/girlfriends, time skipping, what is beta reading lol

Note: The last part of this story is loosely based on the idea given to me by @clairalle and the song 'Paninindigan Kita' by Ben&Ben so thank you so much! ❤️

Letting you all know that some Filipino dialogue here are translated based on how I know it in both English and Tagalog language??? And also, there are some words in here that are the same in context BUT written in two different spellings - some of the words are spelled based on phonics or how it sounds. Enjoy xx

masterlist

i. 2016 — shit, ayos ka lang?

Ramona Magdalena normally had the patience for Tesco. She wasn’t sure what it was, but everything had her seething with no apparent reason. She tried to figure out what went wrong. 

It was only 3 p.m., for goodness sake! 

Her third year at the university was supposed to make things easier, but the way she clenched at the handle of her shopping cart as she sped through the aisles of Tesco showed nothing of the sort. 

She was so tense, her jaw clenching as she asked herself repeatedly if there was an actual reason for her getting worked up over something. 

Her mother, Alma, was being herself; she was merely calling to see how the university was for Magda. Alma only told Magda about her cousins in the Philippines and how they were looking forward to getting the “balikbayan” box in August, only for the younger woman to respond grumpily. Alma was a dear— so clearly Magda’s grumpiness had nothing to do with her mother’s daily check-in. 

She appreciated her mother’s efforts to keep up with Magda’s well-being; after all, Alma did everything she could as a single parent who immigrated to the UK long before she took Magda. 

So no. She loved her mother so much that she wouldn’t get unreasonably cranky towards her. Not easily, at least. 

But her questions withered away when her speed walking was interrupted by her shopping cart crashing into a figure. Her eyes widened, and she shook herself out of her thoughts. 

“Mierda!” Shit! An accent escaped out of the man’s mouth. 

Now, Magda had been a citizen of the UK for a while now— she knew when to speak English and how to utilize her vocabulary in a reasonable manner. But everything seemed to be in panic mode as she exclaimed, “Shit! Ayos ka lang?” Are you okay?

The man was still groaning, bent over as he clutched to his stomach. He glared at her for a moment as he asked, “¿Por qué no observas a dónde vas?” Why can’t you watch where you are going?

“Hah?” She cocked her head slightly. She only picked up on the first two words. Por qué? Why? 

He’s Spanish, Magda deduced. She stepped away from the cart and walked towards him, “I’m so, so, so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—“

“Obviously—“ he muttered hastily, still touching his aching side. 

“I’m also in a rush, and I’m so frustrated and tired. Three years into adulthood and I can’t make shit right,” Magda hadn’t even realized that she was ranting to a stranger as she rambled, “GCSE clearly didn’t do shit to me because I’m still here bitching about what to cook— punyeta naman kasi, ‘di ba.” What the fuck, am I right?

He stared at her for a moment, not even interrupting her as she spoke. But the silence made Magda pause as her face flushed red, earning a soft smirk from the man. “Mama said I have a problem with speaking too much without thinking.” 

He chuckled at her rambling before sticking his hand out, “We can call it… truce— I think is the word?” 

“Yeah, okay, truce,” she reached out and introduced herself while shaking his hand, “I’m Magdalena.” 

“I’m Carlos.” 

“So, like… you’re Spanish, right? Or do you just speak Español? I’ve only picked up on some words because they’re quite similar— or I suppose I learned it through some song from years ago.” 

“I am actually Spanish; good guess. And you said puñeta— I can assume you also speak Español?” 

“Oh, hah, about that— no. That’s not spoken in Spanish. That’s— yeah, that’s something.” 

ii. 2017 — irog means love

“Ate Magda! Totoo ba?” Is it true?

“Jowa mo galing Spain?” Your boyfriend is from Spain? 

Magda almost died laughing as she FaceTimed her cousins, who were certainly supposed to be asleep at this time. The Philippines was seven hours ahead, and with her cousins being awake at two in the morning, she could assume that they had a holiday. Everybody always sleeps in if it’s a long weekend or a national holiday. 

But she hadn’t expected their night to be spent gossiping about Magdalena’s boyfriend, Carlos. 

“Niño, bakit ‘di mo gamitin yang utak mo sa school kaysa sa jowa ko?” Why don’t you use your brain for school instead of my boyfriend? Magda huffed out her laugh, making her other cousin Paloma laugh next to Niño. Paloma’s laughter caught Magda off guard as she called out, “Oi, Lomi, don’t be laughing— ikaw ang nagpasimuno nito. Akala mo ‘di ko alam?” You started this. You think I didn’t know?

“Papa brought it up,” Paloma defended herself with a cry, “he kept calling you a national hero, and I had to ask why.” 

“Ano ba naman ‘yan,” what the hell. Magdalena cried out as her head slumped against the couch, raising it to look at her cousins on the screen, “Tell your papa to keep his mouth shut. I love Tito Gerry— I do, but he needs to stop making jokes about that.” 

“—About what?” Magda seemed to be more drawn towards her uncle’s joke that she hadn’t heard her boyfriend enter her flat with a curious look. He had just arrived from Milton Keynes, and this was a surprise as he normally arrived later than this. 

Carlos had taken off his shoes and placed his bag down, walking around the couch to sit next to Magda as he pecked her lips. “Hello, cariño. How was your day?” 

“Hm, good! I’ve finished my paper,” Magda grinned. 

They were so caught up with each other that the only thing they heard was gagging from the phone that the Filipino woman held. Magda and Carlos peered down on the screen as they watched the two teens exaggerate at the sight of the couple being too sweet for each other. 

“Reparations,” Paloma gagged jokingly, “but at what cost?” 

“Matulog na nga kayo!” Go to sleep! Magda exclaimed.

“Okay po, master,” Niño rolled his eyes before waving at the camera, “nice meeting you, Carlitos!” 

"You're Niño, right?" Carlos grinned as he kept his face in front of the camera before waving, "Nice meeting you too!"

“Yeah! Buenas noches, Don Carlos!” Good night, sir Carlos! Paloma giggled, the other side of the call abruptly ending before Magda could berate the pair even further.

She sighed heavily and tossed her phone aside, giving her boyfriend a look of despair as he giggled at her. 

“What did they mean by reparations?” He asked her, genuinely curious at what they were joking about. 

How was she going to explain it to him? Did they even teach at Spanish schools about their country’s history of colonialism? Magda didn’t have an answer to that. 

“Oh, just you know…” She mumbled, “Filipinos were originally Spanish people living in the Philippines. Apparently, dating you made us a deadly combination. Enemies to lovers, or whatever trope that is.”

“Reparations? Oh… OH!” Carlos exclaimed in realization, earning a nod from his girlfriend as he murmured, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah, I understand now, mi corazon.” 

“Irog,” Carlos said aloud, making Magda hum in a questioning tone. “Irog, bébé.”

“What’s that, bé?” Magda asked mindlessly as she stared at the screen of her computer. 

Carlos turned his head in her direction as he said, “I don’t know. You’re the one who speaks the language.” 

She paused from doing her work, looking up at him before she pondered the first word he brought up. Then she let out an ‘ah’ before nodding. 

“So…? What does that mean?” Carlos asked. One year of relationship and his thirst for knowledge was an obvious factor that came with it.

“It means mahal,” Magda answered, remembering the word. She continued to read Filipino literature as she grew, not wanting to stay away from it regardless of the fact that she spent her last school years in a British school. She asked her mother questions whenever she didn’t have a single clue what a word meant, so this was a helpful thing to do, especially now that Carlos continued to ask her to teach him how to speak her language. 

“Mahal, like expensive?” Carlos asked for clarification. 

Magda shook her head, “No, not that mahal. Like mahal— you, mahal.” 

“Oh,” Carlos let out before he reiterated what she said, “mahal, like love?” 

“Yes, mahal,” she snickered quietly, calling him by the term of endearment. “Like love.” 

“So irog means love?” 

“Yes, bébé. Irog means love.”

iii. 2018 — patata, patatas. what’s the difference? 

“Oh! Hey, Mr. Alonso, you’re here just in time,” Magdalena grinned. The older man, who just arrived, shot her a confused look as she stood there with her lips spread out to a grin.

“Magda, hija, call me Fernando. It’s also nine in the morning,” Fernando Alonso sighed quietly, his hand running through his face as he looked back at the girl in the white McLaren shirt. “I think it’s too early for your optimism.” 

“You’re right,” Magda’s shoulders slumped, and her smile fell, her face showing nothing but defeat as she walked towards the Spaniard, “but don’t let my sadness get in the way of your duties today. My supervisor said that you have to do your filming for the next two videos of the channel— and you cannot, I mean CANNOT, back out this time.” 

“I can’t,” Fernando smirked playfully, “or can I?” 

“Mr. Alonso, with all due respect,” Magda sighed heavily, “I started this year. And if you continue to ditch your duties because I cannot convince you enough then I’m going to have to leave not of my own will. I did not last four years at the university just so I can have a manchild act so sassily at the person who’s merely trying her best, so please—“

“Calmaté, Magdalena. Are you okay?” Calm down. Fernando asked, reiterating his question and emphasizing the word you. 

Magda had anything but an answer; her lips pursed as she shook her head. “Can I… shit. Sorry, can I be excused for a moment? It's been a morning for me.” 

“Take all the time you need, querida,” Fernando told her with a smile, patting her on the shoulder as she gave him a grateful look before she walked out of the McLaren garage with a heave of sigh. 

Fernando Alonso pursed his lips as he caught sight of the young British reserved driver, calling him with a whistle as Lando Norris looked in his direction with a questioning expression.

“Norris, you know Carlos Sainz, yes?” Fernando asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Lando replied with a nod. “He’s a friend of mine.”

“Do me a favour, if you don’t mind,” Fernando requested, “will you please tell him Magdalena’s on break?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Lando obliged before his curiosity got the best of him as he asked, “Is she alright?” 

“I think McLaren broke her.”

“Leche,” she swore quietly as she stood behind the McLaren motorhome. Thankfully, nobody else was there to witness her on the verge of breaking down. Otherwise, that would have been embarrassing. 

She had a bad habit of pleasing people. Living in the Philippines, with her mother working overseas and her biological father being a dickhead fuck knew where Magdalena grew up wanting to appease her friends and family. Her immediate family cared very little about the achievements she reached — they were proud, sure, but how she got there was beyond what they wanted for her.

Some kids who grew up in a Filipino household aimed to please, and Magda wasn’t an exception to that. She, however, did more than what she should have been doing. All thanks to the father she had never interacted with before or ever.

Much like now. She aimed to please. Maybe that was why she got to this predicament now; crouching with her head down as she tried to keep her composure. 

She knew that everyone would kill to be in her place— working for a racing team. But for some reason, her urge to please was replaced by her fear of discomfort and disappointment. Being in a relationship with a Formula One driver taught her a lot about the sport, and she landed herself a job in a team based in England.

Being able to travel with him was a plus, but she felt that she had disappointed him. She didn’t feel as good as he told her she would when she first announced McLaren’s offer to hire her for the season. 

Was this what most Formula One wives and partners felt? Or have they embraced that lifestyle long before the drivers became so popular? She wouldn’t make a good girlfriend for everyone should they find out that she had nothing but anxiety in her system as she graced the grid with her presence. 

She was a disappointment of a Carlos Sainz fan.

His cologne lingered in the air as she witnessed him crouch down in her level, his fingers pulling her hair tie off her head, letting her long dark brown hair fall as she smiled grimly. 

He was in his Renault fireproof, his race suit hanging off his waist. He made things more angelic than normal, and she loved him so much for it. His lips pursed as his fingers continued to massage her scalp. 

“Few more months, mi vida,” Carlos murmured, his soothing voice making her feel at home. “You’re doing so good for them. Don’t let them say otherwise.” 

Sure, she could be at the hotel with Ben&Ben blasting on her phone and her figure crying in the bathtub. She could be falling into the deepest depth of her sadness, but with Carlos ditching his team before the free practice — she would rather be here than be in their shared hotel room. 

“Now c’mon, mi corazon,” he pulled her up, “I’ve managed to get my manager to come drop off some pancit to the motorhome from the hospitality.”

“Pancit?” 

“Malabon,” Carlos beamed at her, pressing his lips to her forehead. “One of the caterers gladly took my request to have some pancit malabon at the menu. It took them a couple of weeks until they finally got tired of my constant asking.”

“Hm, you’re the best, my love,” Magda told him lovingly. “Though, I prefer palabok, remember?” 

“Eh,” Carlos paused, “patata, patatas. What’s the difference? Pancit is pancit, mi amor.”

iv. 2019 — magda, maldita 

“Carlos, bebe, mahal kita. Mahal kita sobra.” I love you. I love you so much. Magda sighed as she glanced over the notepad that her fiancé left on the end table of the side of her bed— their brainstorming notepad. “But do you really want to get married in a church? In the Philippines while you’re at it?” 

“It’s an idea, mi amor,” Carlos said while he continued to do whatever he was doing in the bathroom, making her listen from the bed as he spoke, “Just how bad is it?” 

“It’s nothing bad,” Magda said quietly, “it’s just something that I wouldn’t personally do. There is a lot of paperwork to do when getting married in a church. Did you know that? Not only that, but we’d have to attend seminars about family planning— which is not right up my alley, seeing as my mother is an unmarried single mother.” 

“Paperwork is what you are worried about?” 

“Why can’t we just elope instead? My Lola grandmother and Lolo grandfather did that, and look— they have my mom, my tito uncle and tita aunt,” she suggested out of the blue. 

“And risk getting killed by either of our mothers?” Carlos scoffed, “I think we should stick to the church idea, yes, mi amor?” 

“Did you not hear the story of my grandparents, love?” Magda asked him, thankful that he couldn’t see the baffled look on her face. 

“More than I can count, mi corazon,” Carlos answered, “they ran away from home, didn’t they? Got married and had your Tia Maria, then your Mama after? They eloped because they weren’t close with their families— but we’re both very close to ours. We can’t do what your grandparents did.” 

She sighed. He wasn’t even wrong. 

The Spaniard walked out of the bathroom, his face now clean-shaven as he sat next to his fiancée. “Look, we don’t have to do the church thing. It was just an idea, hm? I know you don’t want to get married in the Philippines either, so that’s alright. We’ll just send your cousins, your aunt and uncle to wherever we’re going, then we’ll get married. Don’t worry too much.” 

“‘M sorry,” Magda murmured, her fingers fidgeting with the gold engagement ring as she continued, “I’m a killjoy.” 

“No, you’re not,” Carlos huffed out and clasped his hand with her left hand, “you’re the bride. The bride is more than permitted to weigh out the options. If you don’t want the Philippines, that’s okay.

“Truthfully, I just want to marry you,” Carlos murmured as he pulled her closer, “if we didn’t have such scary mothers, I would’ve already married you. You and your YouTube channel.” 

Magda’s chuckle vibrated in his chest as she perched on his lap, “I don’t even know if that will even work out.” 

“I am sure the wedding plans will. If it doesn’t, our marriage certainly will work out for you and your channel.”

“You are a dickhead, mahal.” “I can’t speak the truth now?” 

“There was no need to bring up the channel, dumbass.”

“Mabuti nalang may passport yung mga pinsan mo,” It’s a good thing that your cousins have passports. Alma San Pedro, Magdalena’s mother, brought up as she sat across the aforementioned woman.

Magda skimmed through the spreadsheet laid out on her laptop’s screen, keeping her eyes on the things Carlos typed out on the guest list as he actively listed who’s responsible for the catering.

Alma continued to speak, “Why didn’t you want to get married in the Philippines? You’ve always wanted to get married in the Tayabas basilica— I could have had your Tita Marie look into it.”

“That was mainly because I thought you got married there,” Magda glanced at her mother before leaving a comment on the name that Carlos had just typed down on the guest list sheet.

“Lando Norris” — Magda San Pedro (monamagsp) commented: “He finally RSVP’d?”

Carlos Sainz (carlossz) replied: “Yes. He said he forgot to do it, but I managed to get him to fill it.”

He was still at Monaco for the race, but between the busy days of partying and racing he decided to abandon his friends and stayed at the hotel to plan his wedding with Magda instead. “Besides, Ma, the wedding’s in two months. Travelling is also time-consuming for most of us.”

“You’re so picky, anak,” child. Alma replied with a playful scoff.

“And you’re not married, Mama,” Magda shot back with the same amount of humour in her tone. “People complain about both, but we can’t find ourselves to care, hm?”

“Hay nako, Ramona Magdalena,” Alma rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. A rhetorical question escaped her mouth, “Bakit ka kaya maldita?” Why are you so cheeky/sassy? 

Mona shrugged, “Tita Maria didn’t take any shit from my private school teachers, Ma. She’s the one who took care of me while you worked here, remember? Go figures.”

“I can’t believe you’ve invited me to the wedding,” Lando’s eyes glimmered under the warm light of the ballroom hall as he excitedly spoke to Magda. “I know we didn’t speak as much last year, but the fact that you allowed Carlos to invite me? I’m so grateful, mate.”

Magdalena San Pedro— or wait, Magdalena Sainz stood across from the British man with a grin as she tucked her hands into her pockets (she had pockets on her wedding dress that she began to think that God was treating her right today).

The San Pedro-Sainz wedding ceremony took place in the Westin Palace of Madrid. With the hopes of celebrating the love that they shared for years, Carlos and Magdalena managed to get through the hour-long ceremony without a fuss. The romantic venue created an environment full of celebration while keeping it as intimate and private as it could be for their guests and themselves.

Carlos had already made his name known to the Formula One world, his talent being recognized by every fan as the season went on. But nobody knew who Magdalena was to him, and he intended to keep it that way — thus prompting him to keep his marriage a piece of confidential information. Everyone behind the scenes knew he was in a relationship, and with the hopes that he’d get even more popular, PR relationships were introduced and tossed in his way. 

None of the women he was put in the spotlight with ever lasted, and he was slowly earning the title of a Casanova. He didn’t care; he was just doing his duty and driving his car around the tracks while he worried about his partner, who now worked for a designing company based in London— where they both lived. Nobody else in the grid nor anyone in the motorsport community knew who he was romantically involved with. 

Magdalena was another story. She only began to record some videos about her lifestyle as she continued to work for some local designing firm, telling whoever was watching her videos about what she knew about this field of work or what kind of food she’d eat on certain occasions.

She wasn’t as popular as him, but she continued to keep his identity a secret. She lived an average life and she was quite content with it. She’d rather post a video of herself fucking around, but they’ve made a choice to stay private for as long as they could. 

Now Lando Norris was known to be a blabbermouth, but Magdalena had grown quite fond of him when he was still a reserved driver for McLaren as she worked as a PR coordinator for the team. They rarely spoke, sure, but she was certain that she could trust him with anything and he wouldn’t blab about it. Carlos was also friends with Lando, and they continued to be close friends, so Magda never protested against Carlos’ idea of inviting the younger man to the wedding. 

Lando then said, “I find it quite enjoyable— your wedding, I mean. It’s clearly not as big as I would have expected because well… Carlos told me that Filipino weddings are often big, but I love it! I’ve learned more about your wedding traditions than I have in sixth form about geography.”

“Gah, don’t even say that,” Magda rolled her eyes, earning a giggle from Lando as the woman continued, “It’s barely there, I think. We tried not to pour our hearts out into what they would normally practice in the Philippines or here in Spain. Some Filipino things are here — the food, my dress and my family — but it’s just something superficial, you know?” 

“It’s not even just the wedding that taught me a lot!” Lando exclaimed as he laughed, “Your cousins, Lomi, Niño and Lucia? Yeah, I sat with them during the whole ceremony so they kept telling me about wedding traditions and some superstitions: like how you shouldn’t have any relative marry at the same time as you because it’s cursed.” 

“Really? I’m surprised they haven’t said anything mundane,” Magda saw Lando nod at her statement.

“They also started to say that you took one for the team—“ Lando’s forehead creased as he said, “I asked them what they meant by that, then they only said you’re heroic.” 

“Diyos ko.” My god. Magda scoffed. Her cousins spelled nothing but trouble and god did she despise them at times. 

“What? What did that mean, Mags?” Lando asked.

Magda sighed exasperatedly, and with a defeated tone, she answered, “Making up for the challenge we’ve lost, apparently.” 

“Huh?” 

“It’s— just ask Carlitos,” Magda waved off, “I’ve had to explain the concept of colonialism to too many people before. I think it’s time Carlos did it for me.”

v. 2024 — paninindigan kita (stand by you)

Mamahalin kita buong-buo. I will love you completely.

“So, tell us about yourself.”

“I’m Carlos Sainz— or wait, do you want me to speak Tagalog?” The Ferrari driver asked as he stood in front of the camera, his linen shirt in the view of the lens as he waited to be instructed.

“Directing this music video is the dumbest idea I could’ve ever made,” Magda deadpanned from behind the camera as the videography crew laughed alongside the band members, her voice being picked up by the microphone easily.

Their Philippines trip, which they should’ve made a while ago, was something of an experience for the couple.

It was the first time they’d been seen in public— with everyone finding out about their marriage after Carlos’ Instagram story slip-up when he accidentally posted a photo of Magdalena’s selfie that she sent when she travelled to the country long before this. 

It really was an accident if you were to ask him. But it was something inevitable, and all Magda could do was laugh and make her presence known not only to her fans but to those who were more than interested to know about her. His fans. 

Now, they were in an Airbnb somewhere in the Quezon Province as they filmed some form of documentary. It was meant to be a storytelling music video about their relationship and the romance that came with it, but after seeing Carlos’ script reading at the Shell commercial, Magda practically banned him from acting.

She was a popular content creator in the Philippines regardless of her living situation; she lived in Madrid with her husband for almost five years. And with her popularity in the Philippines came acquaintances who were more than willing to collaborate with her. The folk-pop band called Ben&Ben asked if she was more than willing to shoot a music video with them. Direct it, even. 

The song they released practically spoke about her life with Carlos. At first, she didn’t think too much of the lyrics and just enjoyed the rhythm of the song, then she realized how similar it was to their relationship, from the courtship (and her outward refusal to continue this romance with him at the very beginning) to their vows to love each other as they grow old, and decided that perhaps it was time to show to the world how they truly love each other. 

Carlos agreed, knowing that outside of his life as a Ferrari driver and a Formula One figure, he had nothing else in life but her and her alone. He knew that she was the one thing that he kept from everyone to provide security for his wife. He waited patiently for her — and it was now paying off. Now, he was standing in front of a camera, waiting to be filmed for his interview. 

It was better than the countless documentaries and the Netflix series that he had to do interviews and filming duties for. Because this time, he got to discuss his wife, Magdalena Sainz, instead of his car. 

“Can I speak Tagalog?” Carlos repeated, his typical confused expression being displayed before the others.

Magda shook her head, “You’ll butcher it, Carlitos.”

“Excuse me, Ramona,” Carlos gasped in mock offence. “I can speak it!” 

“Clearly not good enough,” Magda shot back, making the others laugh at the banter between the pair. 

“Your Español isn’t any better then, mi vida,” Carlos scoffed, placing his hand on his chest. 

Magda said, “There’s a reason why I only listen to you and your family when you speak, honey.” 

“This is what I have to deal with every day, by the way,” Carlos pointed out to their audience, making the others burst out laughing as he offered his wife a playful glare. 

One of the videographers spoke before Magda could make a comeback, “Wait, the camera’s still on.”

“Oh shit,” Carlos and Magda both swore before they both laughed. Their banter was caught on camera and they were laughing about it.

It took them good ten seconds to return to their composure as the camera stopped recording. 

Magda cleared her throat, clapping her hands as the camera began recording, and she instructed her husband, “Carlos, we can both speak English— it’s fine. Just speak in English, alright?” 

“Okay, fine,” Carlos rolled his eyes and muttered, “mi esposa. Muy quisquilloso.” My wife. So picky. The microphone attached to his shirt picked up on his comment.

“This is so going to the music video,” one of the band members giggled. 

Magda then continued with the recording segment as she spoke to her husband while she stood behind the camera, “Alright, please state your name and how long you have been with your partner?” 

Carlos nodded and beamed slightly as he stared back at Magda, who was smiling as she expected his answer. With a cheerful tone, he said, “My name is Carlos Sainz. I have been with my wife, Magdalena San Pedro Sainz, for seven years and three months and have been married to her for four years and six months.” 

“What prompted you to stand by her?” Magda asked as she continued to beam at him, not even noticing the heart eyes of the other people in the room. 

Eight years and still extremely in love. 

He answered, “Her determination, wits and her ability to stand by me no matter what kind of disaster came and went made me realize that falling in love with her was worth the effort to make.”

It was no wonder people thought their relationship had nothing to do with two worlds colliding.

Even with their constant light bickering, Magdalena and Carlos Sainz learned how to love each other through words — whether it was their native languages or their secondary ones. What mattered was that they understood the meaning of their love, regardless of what kind of language they had to translate it to.

fin.

[prettygirleli]

Smoke Session, Hobie Brown.

so this is my first lil snippet, (have mercy on a poor soul) and I lowkey have no idea what to do to make this as good as the stories I be reading, so imma wing it and hope it isn't ass.

contains: mentions of marijuana, a little kissing, Hobie being a bit of a bully, n-word usage, it's gonna be a poc reader cus that's what I am, please enjoyyy <3

.

.

.

.

you laid on your stomach, your chin resting on your folded arms as you watched Hobie intently. he was sitting across from you on your bed, rolling up as Jhené Aiko played in the background. "Bee?"

"yes?"

"I can smoke wit you this time?"

he raised a brow questioningly, glancing up from his work to eye you for a second. not answering, he brought the paper up to his lips to lick, ignoring your gaze which was heavy on his skin. he'd often roll up and smoke a blunt (sometimes two) when he'd come over, but you'd never smoked with him. lately, though, you became curious, and wanted to try it out.

"Hobie." he looked at you again, finishing up with the blunt in his fingers. "yea, love?"

"can I smoke wit you?"

"are you sure you want to?" you deadpanned, glaring at him with an incredulous look on your face. "you think I woulda asked a nigga for something if I didn't want it?" he smacked his teeth, fumbling in the sheets for the lighter he had taken out earlier. "ight, now, low it. it was a question. have you even smoked before?"

you looked down, playing with a loose seam in your blanket. "once. in my freshman year."

"oh my days-" you threw a pillow at him. "shut up!"

he laughed, deflecting the pillow with his forearm as he looked at you amusedly. "freshman year?" he laughed again, gripping the black tank top that covered his torso loosely, giving you brief flashes of his chest whenever he moved.

your cheeks grew hot as you rolled your eyes. "that's not that long ago. can I smoke wit you or nah?" his laughter quieted down to barely concealed chuckles.

"yeah, sure you can, pretty thing. c'mere." you sat up, and the both of you scooted closer to each other, ruffling the sheets and blankets before finally settling.

"I'll even let you have the first hit." he held the blunt to your lips, and you looked down at it apprehensively, a bit unsure of yourself. you took it from his fingers as he held the lighter up to the end of the blunt, setting it aflame for a small second.

"ight, j's take a deep breath in, hold it in for a bit, and let it out, pretty." he watched you closely, eyes glued onto you as you let the smoke leak slowly out of your pretty and plump glossed lips. you hit it one more time before passing it back to him, and watching him take his hit.

.

.

.

.

"y'know, school was really just a scam set up by the government to keep us trapped in this mindset-"

you groaned, interrupting Hobie, this being the millionth time you've heard this rant.

"whaaat? it was, and it still is-''

"okay, but you're ruining my first high in years. can't we just sit here and look at each other? be all romantic and shit?"

he smirked, letting out a low chuckle as he leaned back against the wall and held his arms out for you. "c'mere. I can be romantic if you want. y'know I love looking at you, pretty thing."

with a roll of your eyes and a barely contained smirk, you crawled over to him and climbed into his lap, your legs straddled over his hips. he ran his hands down from your waist, to your ass, and down your thighs, his warm and lengthy fingers spread over your soft skin.

Hobie's eyes were low and red as he stared into yours, leaning his face into your hand on his cheek. the LEDs in your room were a low pink, almost, complimenting the atmosphere nicely, along with Masego playing quietly.

"goddam, love." "what?"

he let out a quiet laugh, a deep one that came from his chest. he began running his thumbs along the back of your thighs before speaking. "you're just so damn stunning, yeah?"

your face grew warm and you looked away, smiling slightly as he brought his hand up to your face and made you look at him. you both kept your eyes locked onto each others, and you felt hypnotized by the deep, rich brown of his irises.

"and I'm absolutely enamored with you."

you let out a long, slow breath, your eyes flicking down to his full lips, his eyes doing the same to you.

"Bee?"

"hmm?"

"I really fucking love you, man." he chuckled at this, wrapping his long and lanky arms around your waist and pulling you flush against him.

"yeah? I really, really fucking love you too."

you placed both of your hands on the sides of his face, bringing his face closer as you kissed him, his lips soft against yours. he let out a quiet and contented groan as he slid down the wall, slumping against your pillows and blankets so you were right on top of him as you two made out. the pace was slow and lazy, but hella passionate and loving. you sat up, your hands on his chest for grounding as you smiled down at him a bit breathless.

he furrowed his brows in confusion as he looked up at you. "what'd you stop for?"

you giggled and tilted your head as you spoke. "I really love this so-"

you were cut off by the music stopping, and your speaker powering off.

"oh, you bitch!"

Hobie's loud laugh echoed off the walls in your room, and you crossed your arms and frowned at him.

'it's not funny." "it's hella funny, love."

[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

Macaque: First Meeting.

Masterlist | Next--->

You didn't visit Pigsy’s Noodle Shop as often as you’d liked, but whenever you did, you heard countless and seemingly endless tales from Tang about either the Monkey King, which you already knew since you were there for them, or MK. It was a no-brainer that Tang had a thing for you and wanted to impress you with his vast knowledge, but sometimes it was too much. You were pretty sure everyone knew of it, but you never had the heart to shut him up and risk hurting his feelings. You were grateful that MK had Pigsy and Tang looking after him, but sometimes you really hated hearing Tang talk about the same things: how you had been, Monkey King and MK. 

You were proud of the kid, sure, but hearing about it every single time you visited reminded you quickly of why you barely ever visited in the first place. Thankfully, Pigsy was always quick to shut him up for you and reminded you of the reason you do visit; the mouth-watering noodles and homey atmosphere Pigsy and MK brought.  

At the moment, it was MK who was talking, mostly complaining, about someone named Macaque; someone that Monkey King apparently knew from way back. You'd never heard of such a name in the time you’ve known the Monkey King, which was a very long time, so he obviously piqued your interest greatly. 

“So, what's so special about this ‘Macaque’ person?” Your question made MK scoff and he seemed to be in his own little world as he ranted.

“Nothing. He just thinks he's all that because he’s all-powerful and stuff,”

“Uh huh…” you mused.

You listened to MK in silence as he told you of the times that he ran into Macaque… but from what you heard, the male didn't appear to be the bad type of person he seemed to be at the beginning of the Monkie Kid’s story. He sounded less like the villain after the Lady Bone Demon was terminated. Something you, unfortunately, hadn't been able to help with since you were abroad handling some personal business.

“Seems to me that you, despite stating he wasn't that great, actually learned a lot from this Macaque person,” you stated as you ordered another helping of noodles.

“Well… I guess,” MK rubbed the back of his head. “Looking back, I guess there were times he was an okay teacher, but most of the time it was just to get what he wanted!”

“Wow, you think I was an okay teacher?” a foreign voice startled you both from behind you. “I appreciate that, kiddo,” the monkey you guessed was this ‘Macaque’ person chuckled.

To put it frankly, the emo-looking version of Monkey King was rather handsome. His dark theme was truthfully very attractive; you couldn't help but look at your noodles to hide your blush. 

“What are you doing here?!” MK questioned as he got over his brief scare.

“And who’s this little one?” he asked MK, ignoring his question as he looked at you with interest. “Oh~ I see, you must be the famous (Y/n) I heard so much about.”

“Pity that, before today, I've never heard of you,” you glanced at him then slurped your noodles as he chuckled. 

“Ouch,” he said, “then let me officially introduce myself,” he said as he held out his hand to you with his other hand in his pocket. “The name’s Macaque. Well, Six Eared Macaque… is my full name.”

“Hm,” you had to admit, the slightly shy way he said his full name was very adorable. You sighed softly and shook his hand. “(Y/n) (L/n),” you introduced yourself before going back to finish your noodles. Macaque stared at you with a small smile for a good while before he looked at MK as he finally answered his previous question. 

“I wanted to check on my favourite student, is that a crime?” he mused. 

“I'm not your student,” MK stated, which made you look at him with a raised brow. 

“I'll see you guys next time,” you said and paid for the meals you had. 

“Awe, leaving already?” MK pouted as he looked at you disheartened, but you knew he was trying to guilt trip you.

“Yeah, plum, stay a while,”

“Yeah, don't call me that,” you said as you looked at him with an unamused look. Internally… it made you scream and made your heart beat faster. It sounded much better than Wukong calling you Peaches… maybe just a little bit. Maybe it was because of his voice? “I got stuff to do,” you smiled at MK with your usual smile. “I'll visit again soon, I promise.”

“Yeah, last time you said that, you didn't visit for two months,” Pigsy huffed as he called you out.

“Well, I was busy,” you blushed as he called you out like that. “But, I'm not as busy as I was before, so I promise I’ll visit more often than before,”

“It was nice meeting you, plum,” he tilted his head a bit to try to see your face.

“Uh, yeah, you too,” you said but tried your best not to look at him, you couldn't bear to see that look again or risk him seeing your flustered expression.

“I hope to see you soon,” he said.

“Mhm…” you nodded and quickly made your exit. You could feel his eyes on you as you left the noodle shop up until you made a right.

“She's nice,” Macaque looked at MK in amusement. MK looked at him with an unamused expression… but he had to admit that that was the most he’d ever seen you talk to a stranger. He was impressed yet clueless, but Pigsy was suspicious as he looked at Macaque.

“Now, what do ya really want?” He folded his arms.

“Nothing,” he chuckled and shook his head as he passed his hand on his jaw and mouth to find he was smirking. 

“Nothin’, huh?” Pigsy didn't buy it for a second, but he recognized that dazed expression of a man anywhere.

He did lie though… but it wasn't that he genuinely came for nothing. It was that he couldn't exactly remember what his reason for coming to the noodle shop was in the first place. Maybe it was to check on MK? He did say that, right? Or maybe it was to annoy him a bit? Macaque couldn't remember… you had plagued and completely taken over his mind. 

“Things just got a bit more interesting,” Macaque mumbled to himself with a smirk of disbelief at your effect on him. He’d just met you yet this was the effect you had on him? Interesting indeed.

“Huh? What do you mean?” MK looked at him in confusion.

“Nothing,” Macaque chuckled and shook his head. “I'll see you later, kiddo,” he looked at MK before he disappeared through a portal he opened below himself. 

[ebonysplendor]

TOUCHSTARVED (Demo) 💔🫴

TL;DR: People are always saying "Touch grass" but even that might be dangerous in this scenario. If you thought Mike Tyson's hands were lethal, wait until you find out how our hands work.

Game Link: https://redspringstudio.itch.io/touchstarved

Notable features: Self-Insert, Multiple LIs, DnD vibe, MC backstory selection, Multiple endings/routes, Choice-Heavy Spiciness: 3.5/5 -- Nothing too explicit and no sex scenes or anything like that, but it does get pretty suggestive and there's some flirty jokes and comments here and there, especially with one particular LI LI(s) Red Flags: ...I mean, aside from one of them being a suspiciously smooth talker and the other essentially implying that they'd corrupt us, the biggest red flag is one of them having the cleanest pickpocket skill in history

Wanna know more? Meh, there's not an age limit, but the game pages does say it's for older audiences so, me personally, ... I'd say at least sixteen, but the older, the better. Anyways, let's get into it!

Okay, I'm sorry, but I have been coming across some damned gems lately!

Once again, this was one of the visual novels I downloaded forever ago, and what the heeeeeell, this was so good! Like, no, it was REALLY damned good. I'm not going to get into my ranting and raving like I tend to do because then the intro will get all long, but just know that, once again, I am geeked. Like, why have these game developers been going in so hard lately?!

I honestly have so much more to say, but I really want to get to the summary and the review portion, so I'm going to half-ass this intro and leave it here. That being said, this is NOT a yandere visual novel; however, it is a dark romance visual novel, so, it's still not the super teeth-rotting, cutesy, fluffy stuff.

Anyways, I'm going to tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself (like usual). Be mindful that, because it's a demo, there's not really an "end" nor is it even leading up to the end. The best way that I can qualify the demo is deadass...a demo. Like, it's a literal introduction and acts as a showcase to the rest of the game. More accurately, it flows exactly like how you'd think the prologue to a story would, "Chapter 0", honestly speaking.

Anyways, I'm done yapping; let's summarize. Just a heads up, though, it's gonna be a little lengthy, so...get comfy. All right, now let's get into it.

So boom.

In the spirit of keeping things as brief as possible: We're cursed, and that curse flows throughout our hands, front and back; it is for this reason that we keep them completely bandaged to ensure our own safety (kinda) and for everyone else's sanity. We believe that we can find a cure in this city called "Eridia", which is known to be this city of vast knowledge, and within this city of vast knowledge is this place called "Senobium". Senobium is where we're hoping our answers lie.

Lmao, I know that's a hell of an opener, but that's quite literally what's going on. We have been cursed since the start of forever, and we're essentially tired of feeling no sense of belonging anywhere, so we're trying to fix that; however, shit goes very left, very fast.

As we're on the way to this oh so great city of knowledge, we get hit with this ominous fog, and everyone who's travelling with us immediately knows: this is not good. No sooner than later, we're pretty certain that we hear someone getting killed nearby and the carriage that we were in is suddenly flipped over and blood gets shed very quickly. As expected, and for plot purposes, when the carriage got flipped over, our ankle took some extra damage which makes running a very unlikely option. Because of this, this terrifyingly dangerous creature wastes no time approaching us. Wanna see what it looks like?

That, my friends, is what is referred to as a "soulless", and it can rip you to literal shreds within seconds.

For whatever reason, this thing darts past us and disappears into the mist, but we don't ask questions; we just bolt behind the carriage for cover, and we're thankful that there is still someone alive after the attack. It would be much more comforting, though, if the guy wasn't praying, because that meant either one of two things:

We were very much so fucked, and he was trying to put in a good word for himself real quick before he potentially met his maker

or 2. We are very much so fucked, and the only thing that is applicable in this scenario is to pray and hope it disappears

but either way, we are very much so fucked.

That being said, we simply can't accept that. We don't pray, because we don't have the time. We've literally come too far to get taken out right outside the very city that holds our salvation, and that's all the reminder that we need when we see those city lights through the haze.

That reminder doesn't last long, though, because remember that soulless that vanished? Well, it came back, and the guy that was praying essentially brushed up against our hand, trying to get us to dip out with him because, duh, situation kind've popping off. Now, you remember that curse I mentioned? Well, our bandages kind've tore off during all of this ruckus, and all it takes is the slightest touch to make a person go from this

to this.

Yeah, so...not good.

Anyways, the situation essentially keeps escalating until we're one hit point away from death...but it never happens, because the next time we open our eyes, we see him.

Maybe we are dead, because hello~! Lookin' like an ethereal being in all of that white and attractive features! Like, gyatt DAMN. That is one fine ass angel!

Honestly, there are a lot of guys, and a lot of swooning, and a lot of introductions, so I'm going to kind've rush through those parts, especially since I don't want to ruin too much.

So, to get back on topic, essentially what goes down is that he -- his name is Kuras, by the way -- found us pretty much dead where the attack went down and brought us into the city to treat us. Now, this isn't because he's a hero or anything, but because he's a doctor and helping and healing is quite literally his entire thing, and damn, did he heal the hell out of us...suspiciously so.

Kuras tells us that, in Eridia, knowledge and secrets are what really fuels the area because it's so valuable. That being said, he can't get into exactly how he healed us so damn near perfectly. That also being said, he pretty much implies that the Senobium isn't all that's cracked up to be and that we aren't likely to find what we need there. Now although, we aren't fully believing of this due to desperation, he does point us in the direction of someone else. Some guy named Leander that we can find in some place called "The Wet Wick".

We follow Kuras' directions...but who the hell is--

--LEANDEEEEEEER~! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! ...Yeeeeah, this is the one I'm gonna romance first lol. Kuras is gonna have to chill for a second.

Anyways, we're here with Leander, and what happens here is...he is so obviously a playboy, but the man is smooth as shit. I mean, damn, the man gave us flowers as soon as he laid eyes on us and was talking about some "New here? I'm certain I would've remembered a face as lovely as yours". A classic playboy line, a fuckboy move, possibly, and I always manage to gravitate towards/pick them in these damn multi-LIs stories. Back on topic though, we ask Leander about the Senobium, and, much like with Kuras, he tells us that it's not only a taboo topic, but that the place is bad news.

That being said though, he's pretty confident that he's able to find an alternative to our ailment, but that we'd have to be willing to trust him a bit, which is a tall order considering the backstory we may have chosen. We bite the bullet though, because we discovered earlier that he was a pretty damn good mage, and we're really desperate. We give into his confidence...and it actually panned out well. So well, in fact, this man, once again, takes the opportunity to spit game and puts the gold in our hands next to the gold on his coat and be like "Look, we match". That man is smoother than damned butter, and I'm down bad.

Anyways, he gets us a room to sleep in for the night, and tells us to go explore, but be careful. So we do, and we run into this guy.

Yeah, so, remember that room that Leander got for us? This guy, monster, thing just swiped the key. Lol here we go...

The thing is, we could easily get it back, but something feels...off...about him. So, we play along with his game for a bit before we're just like "A'ight, can I just get my damn key?" but he kind've avoids the topic and, of course, our desire to reach the Senobium comes up. As expected at this point, he's flatly like "It's overrated" and to simply forget about it. Well, damn...

The encounter goes for a bit more before Vere -- we finally got his name after someone called him out for causing trouble -- leaves with the someone who called after him. Despite all that we've heard about the Senobium, we can't help but see it up close and in person to at least make the journey and trials and suffering worth it.

And we do, we make it there, and we see this figure there.

But when someone calls after us for gawking at the building, the figure disappears as quickly as we saw it. Aside from this though, a feeling of hopeless kind've takes hold and we're just...it's just like damn at this point, ya know? But then something kind've weird happens.

This red-eyed woman, who is clearly supposed to be dead as apparent from this gaping hole that she showed us on her body -- no, you don't get it. It was a literal hole that you could see through -- spoke of this seaspring that could cure, quite literally, anything. Not having much faith in the Senobium anymore, but still desperate for a cure, we follow the woman and receive directions to this mysterious seaspring and are told about some gang leader named Ais.

We get there, and we come to the conclusion that someone probably lives here. We call out, there's no answer...you already know where this is going.

BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS MAN TO BE THIS DAMN FINE. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Okay, okay, okay, okay, so I'm going to romance Leander first, DEFINITELY this daddy second, and Kuras is gonna be my solid third. Okay, moving on...

He -- this is Ais, by the way -- pops up and scares the shit out of us. Actually, it wasn't him that scared us, it's his loyal pack of red-eyed soulless that scares the shit out of us, and for obvious reasons. Anyways, for the sake of trying to keep this from being longer than it already is, he's actually a pretty chill dude. Once again, he is also anti-Senobium, but he is straightforward in that, "Yes, that seaspring will literally clear up whatever you've got going on, but boy, is it going to drive you batshit crazy". Well, not batshit, but it makes you a part of this thing called a "groupmind"; that explained the red-eyes. Ais described it as "one big happy family in your head". Oh...okay, so...not a good idea. Guess we weren't as desperate as we thought. He gets one of his trained soulless to take us back towards the city.

After everything that had went down today, we decided that we should officially call it a night. On our way to the room Leander funded for us, we run into some...complications.

Ah, yes. Why would we have been able to just walk across the city and to our room? That would've been too easy. Any chance that this one is tamed, too, and Ais is just messing with us again?

Oh...oh wait...this one doesn't have the red eyes. ...Yeah, we bolt. What makes this whole situation worse though? As fast as we are running, this soulless is keeping up pretty damn easily. Also, did I say that this was the worst of it? It's not, it gets so much worse actually. Tell me why, in our panic, we literally ran ourselves into a dead end. Beautiful. What are the odds we'll survive this thing a second time around?

Pretty damn high apparently. Bless this person because we were about to get one-hit'ed!

They help us up and...wait...didn't we...?

Oh yeeeeeeah! This was the person from the Senobium! ...Damn, they're short lmao. That being said, we were all:

"Yo, you were at the Senobium!"

And they were all:

"So what if I was?"

Mmm...a feisty lil stallion. Big sass. I would be, too, if I was that short. Like, damn, they are not as tall as the baes. Kuras could take their ass out with one stomp if he really wanted to.

Anyways, they scold us about being alone at night and how it's not safe and all that. We follow them for a bit, and granted, we saw that they meant business, but it's still weird that if it's so dangerous, why were they travelling alone and why did they stop to help us?

"There was a bounty on that Soulless; you were just in the way. Not killing you isn't the same as helping you." Wha--?

Well, fuck you, too then! You get romanced last, Shorty McDouche.

We essentially get spicy back, and now, they're all blushy and shit as they start walking us back to our room. Yeah, take that shit, Mhin -- their name is Mhin, by the by -- but we don't have to deal with their sass for much longer because guess who comes along?!

IT'S BAAAAAAAE!!!! .....gyatt DAYUM Mhin is short. Then again, they could be taller than or the same height as us, but we did mention that everyone was significantly taller while Mhin was "Huh...they're shorter than I thought".

Anyways, they both escort us back to the Wet Wick, and wouldn't you know it?

Not only are all the baes here, but they all apparently know each other! All those different personalities hanging out together? Well, isn't that a wild concept. Even still, since they're all here...

Maybe we can get to know one of them a little better...

END OF DEMO LOL. Well...actually there's more after this, but of course, it depends on who you go to talk to. This is definitely long enough, though, lol; you'll have to play the game yourself to find out more, not to mention all the details I left out.

Whoo, FINALLY. The summary was long, but that was because the demo was long, and it had a lot going on. I swear I excluded so much detail, you have no idea, but guys...

When I tell you that this game was so good.

When I tell you that this game was so good.

FRIENDS. When I tell you. That this game. Was so. Good.

I don't think I can emphasize that enough, and I'm not even going to lie to you, at first, I was not feeling it. It's crazy to say that now, but I swear, I was not feeling this game at first, because it was feeling real Dungeons and Dragons, and as much I want to get into that...I can't. It just never vibes with me, and it's like I can't ever effectively get into it. That being said, it was rough at first, but then--!!

Listen. The story started storying, and the baes were baeing, and I was like, there is a visual novel to be played here. I knew it was a demo when I had started it, but when I tell you that I was legitimately upset when that "Thanks for playing!" message came up? DISTRAUGHT.

Anyways, my take on the game (as if it wasn't clear enough): it was great. Fantastic, even. It's just really odd how it flows like a fantasy story book but a DnD map at the same time, and yet they made it work so beautifully. The art style; those of you that have been rocking with me know how I feel about art style. Absolutely enthralled with the art. It looks straight out of one of those DnD campaign or character books. The baes! Don't get me wrong, all of them aren't my cup of tea, but the baes that I'm feening for?! Even the ones that I'm not feening for, honestly. They are sooooo handsome. Like, I want them al-- well, I want like 3 of them, to be best friends with 1 of them, and to throw hands with the other one lol. I mean, like, they're a'ight; I'm gonna have to get to know them because they a lil' too slick at the mouth lmao, but we all know that's probably going to be the sweetest of the bunch.

But yeah, this game is legit. Again, absolutely going to spend money on this one, if that's what the full version will entail. Now, just to add a bit of degeneracy...

IF THE DEVS MAKE THIS INTO AN 18+ GAME WITH A SPICY SCENE. MY SOUL. WILL BE THEIRS.

Okay, okay, okay, anyways, but like, the game really does have mad potential. Like, look at this:

You can pick your back story, and look at what it looks like when you pick your LI!

There are routes! You pick your LI by route! Can you imagine how huge this game is going to be if there are routes for each character and choices within those routes? I am literally so excited! Run me the full release, dev(s)!

Anywho, this post is waaaaaay long, and I could ramble way more about this game, but I shall not. If you'd like to give this game a playthrough yourself -- and I'm telling you that you need to -- I'll put a link to it right here for ya. If you'd also like, you can give the dev(s) that ever desperate "Please. I need more. This game is so good. I will literally sell you my lung and both of my kneecaps. I beg" and let them know what it is! Donations are also super helpful should you be in a position and mindset to do so!

All righty, that's finally all from me! Sorry about the length on this one, but there was so much that needed to be said, and I could honestly say more. For the sake of length though, I'll leave you with this:

Play this game, but also, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

TOUCHSTARVED (Demo)

[cod-dump]

Hope your head has stopped trying to commit a crime, so pardon my bothering.

This is the Simon Riley has a grave anon here with more concerning it! (because for some reason it randomly popped back into my head and I must share)

There's a new recruit about to be sent to train on the 141's base, but is delayed due to personal hardship. His grandfather had just passed, and he needed some time. This recruit never had a father, and his grandpa just filled that role so easily, so losing him was hard. Turns out, this recruit is also from Manchester and his grandpa is buried next to one "Lieutenant Simon Riley"

Recruit gives a brief salute to the "deceased" lieutenant as he asks him to be a good neighbor to Pop.

Once he's back on base, he's heard stories about "Ghost" already, even before being on base, when he first joined and was told where he would be sent to. He's nervous about meeting him, especially given he's a week late and doesn't know anything else. And it's during his first training session with his new lieutenant that really freaks him out. Ghost is in a sour mood, and snaps at this recruit after not recognizing him.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Private Tyler Maverick, sir." Ghost eyes him suspiciously.

"You're a week late. Better be for a damn good reason." Ghost clearly was not present at the base to be informed of why Maverick was late.

"Had to bury someone, sir." There's an awkward pause as Ghost stares at him. Ghost just grunts in response before turning away and pretty much ignoring Maverick the rest of the day. Later that day, around dinner, Maverick is told to meet the lieutenant in his office. When he enters, Ghost is leaning against the desk, arms crossed and given no hint of what he wanted Maverick for.

"You asked for me, sir?"

"Wanted to apologize for my comment earlier. I had only just rolled in the night before and didn't get briefed on the new recruits very long." Maverick shakes his head.

"Nothing I can't handle, sir. If I can't handle a comment about burying a family member, then I shouldn't be here." Ghost narrows his eyes in questioning.

"Doesn't make it right, though. Burying family is a nasty business." Maverick shrugs, not really wanting to go into the whole thing, but it seems Ghost has other plans.

"How you holding up? I hear you only had a couple days before being shipped out."

"Fine, honest. Been kept busy the whole time so I guess it hasn't really hit yet." Maverick nervously rubs at his neck, starting to see where Ghost was going with this.

"Some of us move on faster than others, especially depending on who they lost." Ghost comments, and Maverick wants to curl in on himself. He'd heard stories about Ghost's uncanny ability to read someone with pinpoint accuracy, but he never thought he'd be the subject of it.

"Lost my grandpa. He was more like my dad, never got to meet the real deal, ya know? Died when I was young. For a really long time, Pop was all I had. Mom worked all the time and I was an only child. Now I'm here, and he's buried and it all just feels so surreal but in a bad way. I don't know, but I'm okay, sir, honest." Maverick rambles, tripping over his words as he tries to rush up in case his little rant had upset Ghost.

"Yeah and I'm the bloody Queen of England. But, fine, I'll go with it for now. Tell me when it gets to be a problem, though. Can't have my soldiers compromised." Maverick nods.

"Yessir. And, if you don't mind, I never got to properly meet you, sir, so I never caught your name."

"Simon Riley." Maverick pales almost immediately as recognition of the name dawns on him.

"You all right?"

"It's got to be a coincidence." He whispers and Ghost cocks his head at him.

"What is?"

"There's a lieutenant buried next to Pop with the same name as you."

"Manchester?"

"Yessir. Hell, I even asked him to be a good neighbor." Maverick mutters the second sentence, hoping Ghost wouldn't hear it.

"S'alright, I'm a pretty quiet neighbor." If it weren't for the deadpan way Ghost had said it, or the absurdity of the situation, Maverick would have passed out right there.

"I-I'm sorry?" He asks between nervous laughs.

"Name Ghost comes from somewhere, ya know. Dismissed." Maverick has never left a room so fast in his life.

He does eventually get an answer, and loads more questions, about the grave from Gaz.

"Oh yeah, it's a long story. Don't worry, Private Bones is also a good neighbor, even if he is an alcoholic."

Maverick has officially decided to never question his superior officers ever again, and he ends up being the one recruit they can fuck around in front of because he'll just blink at them before going back to whatever he was doing and never mention anything again.

He definitely makes sure to tell Pop how interesting his neighbor is every chance he gets.

(this turned into an actual something, I'm sorry, didn't mean that to happen but it is what it is)

Adding Tyler Maverick to the list of recruits that Ghost has adopted unintentionally.

I love this!!

And I'm feeling much better than what I was this morning, thank you <3

[polandspringz]

Thoughts/Brief Rant about Tadaima Okaeri (I like the show I promise)

I made a thread about this on Twitter, but I've been following the show since it released, although I have yet to watch this week's new episode yet. I saw the pheromone clip on Twitter though, and all I could think was FINALLY and so it made me want to discuss something that has been bothering about the anime since the start.

I honestly feel like its REALLY under utilizing the omegaverse concept.

I have not read the manga, but I know the first episode cut out Hiromu being a bit more possessive around Masaki. I have also heard that apparently this series was made as part of a magazine project that was supposed to help introduce Japanese fans to the concept of omegaverse to begin with, so I understand it wanting to do a softer approach to all the world building. However, most episodes of the series, I find myself ask- "What is the point of this even being set in omegaverse?"

(This may just be a case of the anime changing things and toning down the omegaverse stuff for TV, and the manga may have more, but at the moment I am only judging the anime.)

Although this series has the trope of "omegas being lower class" or discriminated against in society, I have not seen an omegaverse before where it is the overwhelming NORM of the society to favor same designation couples (so Alpha/Alpha, Beta/Beta, Omega/Omega) and for an Alpha/Omega pairing to be considered abnormal. Omegaverse is built around the alpha/omega pairing traditionally, so I was surprised by that. If Alpha/Alpha is common place, then that tells me the viewer that this is a world where everyone must be able to get pregnant, or that Hiromu's parents must have had an omega surrogate, since they are Alpha/Alpha.

I understand that what this show was trying to do was probably create an allegory for the discrimination that same sex couples in reality face in Japan, but do it in a fantasy world setting where it wasn't actually about them being same sex. The only time we see someone point out "a male/male couple" is Yuki in the first episode or so. Everyone is actually alpha/omega-phobic instead. So this is a world where its okay to be gay, you're just discriminated against for A DIFFERENT reason. I almost found it funny because having alpha/omega being problematic almost was like... wouldn't that be the equivalent of being straight in terms of omegaverse. With it being opposite instead of same-designation attraction. I digress.

My confusion was furthered by the episode where Masaki goes into heat. While I understood him going to the hospital for suppressants (I am aware of the difference in Western vs Japanese omegaverse in terms of how our health care systems is reflected in these stories), I found it out that Hiromu mentioned not being sure how to help Masaki through his heat. To be frank, USUALLY when an omega is in heat, they need sexual relief. While I didn't expect that to happen ON SCREEN, since I understood the show was going for a more wholesome approach, and it is understandable that when an omega has their heat, that doesn't mean they always are consenting or wanting for sexual activity, Hiromu's wording felt strange to me. It seemed like because Alpha/Omega pairings are so rare, alphas don't understand what a heat even is. It seemed to imply to me that its more common for omegas to help each other through their heats.

The reason this doesn't make sense to me, is now with the pheromone scene in the newest episode, the show seems to have reverted back to TRADITIONAL omegaverse tropes, but it feels contradictory towards everything else thus far. If an alpha reacts so strongly to an omega's pheromones, it seems like that biologically, it is designed that an alpha and omega would be together. So then why has society decided to go against that and insist upon same-designation couples? I feel like pheromones should have been more of a thing in the beginning, because then we would see how Alpha/Alpha pairings work with their own pheromones.

What I'm trying to get at is it doesn't feel like it makes sense, and I wish the show would explain the why behind this in the world. If the biology of Alpha and Omegas causes them to be attracted to one another, then I want to know what made society decide to oppress omegas to the point that we've come to a point where no Alpha wants to be caught dead with an Omega in the event they pass on the omega gene. I can understand that maybe omegas are repressed because they were- well, similar to woman's status in society throughout history, expected to be mothers and give birth and take care of the house. And if this is a world where everyone can get pregnant, then yeah why would you need omegas. But then why are they discriminated against to begin with. And if biologically all pairings can get pregnant by each other, then we should see more pheromone reactions that draw attraction to each other besides just with the traditional Alpha/Omega.

In conclusion, I have no clue why I care so much about omegaverse. It was just very frustrating to me as a viewer to seemingly be given contradictory information. I felt like the anime was not explaining things very well. Hell, I did not even KNOW Yuki was a beta until I looked it up just now. I almost thought he was an omega for this long because of how Masaki said he was reminded of his past self in Yuki. Perhaps that was just one detail I missed in the show, and hell, maybe I've missed a ton of things and am completely wrong, which I will admit is entirely possible! Please don't get mad at me if so, and just direct me to the timestamps in each episode so I can clarify things for myself. Overall I just found this series, while enjoyable, sort of pointless in its attempt to use the omegaverse concept. I feel like you could remove the omegaverse world entirely from this series, and it would still work. Masaki could be transmasc to explain the pregnancy, or hell its just an mpreg universe without omegaverse. The caste system type of discrimination is common in omegaverse, but I could see just Masaki still being oppressed and shamed his whole life for a different reason, creating his low self esteem, and disapproval by Hiromu's family as well.

TLDR: I went into this show wanting omegaverse. While I enjoyed the found family immensely, I came here for omegaverse, dammit. And it didn't really deliver.

[just-antithings]

you know whats so bullshit about antis? (well, everything tbf but i have something to rant about)

i fucking was that hypothetical example they always bring up of a young child reading dark content that they were too young to be reading. and guess what? it did more help than harm.

i didnt have any sex education until i was 16. nothing explained from my parents aside from a brief explanation of a period when i got one. nothing from the shitty southern school district.

that wattpad fic was my first time learning about what consent was. and if i had never read it, if stories like didnt exist, i wouldve never realized that what i'd been through wasnt okay.

obviously im not advocating for 9-10 year olds to read about sans aus raping eachother, but when antis bring up that possibility as a reason for why stuff like that is bad and shouldnt exist, it makes my blood boil.

.

[a-cilantro-leaf]

god im autistic. [Sodapack Rant]

DISCLAIMER:

- I personally can't judge others for liking or disliking a ship. All of the characters are morally grey in some way, shape, and/or form. - I am not a proshipper at all. I do not like ships that are illegal in an way. Same with borderline abusive AND problematic ships. They romanticise the problem and can cause harm in real life at times. You cannot convice me otherwise. End of story. If you are a proshipper you will be blocked without warning. - Writing toxic/bad/problematic behavior/relations on the other hand is okay. Though only as long as you have done reasearch on the topic at hand and have portayed is as toxic/bad/problematic.

Now that is taken care of, it's onto the rant.

So Sodapack is a good ship. I love the concept of it. Its excellent, chefs kiss. Though Fanon has defintely made an impact on said ship. People tend to forget/mischaracterize/etc each Bryce and Liam.

Brief Reminder Incoming.

(These are my personal interpretations of the canon characters. I am not denying it. However this is as close as I can get.)

Negative Canon Liam Traits:

Selfish

Revenge Orientated

Unintentionally(?) Manipulative

Traumatized

Impulsive

Negative Canon Bryce Traits:

Traumatized

Stubborn

Hot-Tempered

Fickle

Hyper Independent

If Bryce and Liam are together immediately after the events on HFJOne, its toxic. Its a trauma bond.

Liam, whether he does it on purpose or not, is gaslighting, critizizing, and breaking Bryce's set boundries. Bryce's fickle nature causes him to resign his boundries that he sets in the show.

Bryce and Liam need to learn to heal on their own before getting into something like a romantic relationship. Both have suffered and getting into something like that is just asking for unintentional hurt to happen.

So why do I consder it a good ship if all these flaws exist?

It's because people can change and heal. Its just human nature. Both Bryce and and Liam have hurt eachother. One more than the other *cough-Liam-cough*.

Its going to take time to forgive, yes. Hell, you can't just forget what happened either. I know from experience.

However!! If these two were to heal properly? I can see the ship being extremely cute. A friends to lovers type of thing.

Conclusion/TLDR;

tldr; Sodapack is good,. HOWEVER, people need realize that trauma bonds exist and are extremely harmful. Both Liam and Bryce need time to heal from what happened. They have the potiential to be a really cute pair if this occurs.

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I'm back with another request and it is stu again(I'm sorry I'm in a phase rn) . In this request I was wondering if we could get Stu walking the reader from class to their locker, waiting for them at their locker, and then walking them to their next class. I know you've mentioned it before yk with Stu waiting for the reader and I'd just love to see the casual intimacy like in the last request (and also I hope you're feeling better after the break down you went through I'm not sure if this is a good time for request for you and if not thats so understandable I'm so sorry take your time, obviously if you do do this request I'd appreciate it but if you don't thats so okay i mainly sent this in bc you said you were in your Stu era and what kind of loyal reader would I be if I didn't indulge one of my favorite writers by tricking them into writing/talking about one of there current favorite characters :)

A/n hi, i'm feeling better now :)) i'm home so that always helps and done with school until close to late january so that definitely helps lol

also side note, i try to keep the appearance of the reader as vague as possible but at the beginning i do mention the reader having long enough hair to be tied back/up with a hair tie 

this took a minute but i hope it’s worth it!! 

----

You're practically bouncing on the balls of your feet once the bell rings, more akin to a little kid getting ready to run across the park than a student simply getting a few minutes to move from second period to third. It feels a little silly, especially when you intentionally keep your freshly graded test on top of your folder instead of tucking it away, but it's become a bit of a habit.

You'd think about breaking it if it wasn't for the fact that no one ever gives you a reaction quite like Stu. Sure, he's purposefully over the top, oversaturating his enthusiasm with his tone and teasing humor, but it's nice. Comforting in the way it never dwindles no matter how many things you bring up that you don't think anyone else would have the energy to even pretend to care about.

Out in the hallway, you adjust your hold on your math textbook and the plastic folder that's resting over it. Your head turns left, towards the row of lockers that he's always waiting near. Only, this time Stu's not there. Not looking through his actual locker or talking to Billy or Tatum or anyone. He's not there. At all.

You're more confused than you should be, it's not like Stu owes you his presence, but it is weird considering that this is the first time he's ever not been there since your tradition started. You frown, a little offended by his absence. Things with Stu are more intentional than he wants them to seem, a fact you picked up pretty quickly after meeting him, but something insecure within you twists at the thought that maybe he just forgot. Or decided he just didn't feel like it today.

Even though the hall is quickly flooding with teens, you crane your neck in the direction of Stu's second period. Stu has a tendency to stand out, too tall and too much of a force to blend in if one makes up their mind to look for him. It shouldn't be hard to--you bite your tongue to avoid yelping as some firm force settles on your upper hip.

You've heard too many stories, seen too many girls rant or tear up in the bathroom after some entitled guy thought it'd be funny to grab or grope under the guise of accidentally bumping into someone thanks to overcrowding. For a brief second, the contact feels pointed and wrong. You turn stiffly, eyes wide until they settle on a familiar grin.

Panic fading almost immediately, you exhale. "Stu."

When you don't melt , Stu drops his arms, offering you a halfhearted, "...Boo."

You roll your eyes, half stepping back. "You scared me."

“Should’ve been paying more attention,” he mumbles, expression slightly scolding. 

A retort about how you were just looking for him because he’s always waiting across the hall rises and dies on your tongue. There’s no normal way to explain that, and even if the fact that you were waiting for him wasn’t totally mortifying, your sure he’d find a way to tease you. One of those jokes about how he didn’t realize the two of you hadn’t gotten so serious and since when were you such a ball and chain? 

So instead of saying anything like that, you tilt your chin up, “You snuck up on me on purpose and we both know it.” 

“I’ll make it up to you later.” The suggestive wink earns him an eye roll. 

“Sure,” you mumble pointedly, “Guess what?” The question is rhetorical enough that you don’t even have to wait a full beat to answer, “We got our tests back!” 

You lift your paper, careful not to cover the red A+ circled on the first page. Stu’s mouth falls open briefly in a look that’s just a little too amazed for a reaction to a math exam. “Wow,” he takes the packet from you, leafing through it without taking it in fully, “This is some complex shit, too.” 

He sets the test back down over your folder before ruffling your hair in a way that’s nearly too affectionate, harsh enough to make your head move at an angle that strains your neck. “Harvard bound.” 

You brush him off with a barely contained smile, softly pushing against his hands before attempting to smooth out the mess he made. “Okay--knock it off, I actually liked how my hair looked today.”  

“It’s not fair that you’re the smartest person in the room and the prettiest.” The blatant compliments without their usual layers of implication and subtle-not-so-subtle innuendos are enough to get you to pause. 

Stu briefly squeezes you to him before taking the textbook from your hands. It’s easy to let go now that the habit’s been established. You rarely carry anything in between classes anymore, Stu either making up a silly excuse to take your textbooks or doing so silently. "Someone’s too smart to carry things.” He forces mock irritation into his voice. 

“I didn’t ask you to do that.” It’s half accusing, but you make no move to take your books back. 

“Uh-huh,” he hums dismissively, “Whatever you say, smarty.” 

----

You can’t remember the last time Stu’s house felt so hot, maybe it has to do with how overly humid the outside world is today, but you’re struggling to feel fully comfortable despite your contentment.

Stu’s talking, reiterating everything wrong with some low budget horror film he stumbled onto last night. You’re listening a little less than you’d like to and you honestly feel bad about it, but you can’t help the way the heat on the back of your neck distracts you. 

Billy sits up a little more, “I’m not surprised, your movie instincts are awful.” It sounds like the start of one of their debates that are better off without your interference, and you’re okay with that. This week has been long and this is the first moment that’s allowed you to really breathe. You don’t mind absorbing that for a second and just taking in their presence and the easiness it brings you. 

“They’re not worse than yours.” 

“Even Y/n picks better.” 

Something about the way Billy’s eyes focus on you makes you feel like it’s a genuine attempt on Billy’s part to bring you in a little more. Even though you don’t feel insulted, you still sit up a little more, “Thanks.” 

“Ouch, man.” The fact that Stu’s basically dropping the argument in order to add to the jab at your taste is enough to get you to turn your head. 

You glare, shoving his shoulder. “My taste is not bad.” They exchange a look that has you feeling like you’re on the outs of some joke. “You guys are the worst, I have no idea why I hang out with you.” 

“’Cause you love us.” Stu nudges his foot against yours, bumping your knees in the process. 

The additional closeness reminds you of the warmth of the room. To avoid crossing your arms or doing anything that would get them to accuse you of pouting, you begin to pull your hair away from your neck. The hair tie against your wrist smacks against your skin. Loud and stinging a little too noticeably. It’s not painful, but surprising enough to make you drop your hair. “Stu.” 

He ignores the harshness of your voice, instead choosing to chase after your wrist with one hand. “Give it.” There’s something about the way he says it that stands out to you. It’s reminiscent of a child noticing a brand new toy and instantly deciding that they want it. 

Before you realize what he’s asking for, Stu pulls the hair tie off of you and takes a second to stretch it between his fingers. What he’s trying to do finally sinks in when Stu slides the band up his wrist. You’re not in the mood to redefine how tender scalped you consider yourself to be, but there’s no way to say that in a way that won’t make Stu moody. 

“Turn.” It’s a command so gentle you listen instinctually despite your reservations.

You barely have a second to adjust before Stu’s pushing your hair back. “Are you--” His touch is surprisingly focused, not tugging on the strands in the way you’d expect him to. “Are you putting my hair up?” 

“Yep,” he pops the ‘p’ casually, like there’s nothing weird about this. 

He drags his palms against the top of your scalp a little clumsily. It’s not that weird. Not really, you decide, just different. Any type of ponytail or loose bun would have never taken you this long and it’s clear that Stu doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but it doesn’t hurt. He’s being restrained, gentle.

“You’re letting him do your hair?” 

You shrug at Billy’s comment, feeling a little awkward as Stu finally reaches your scalp. “The good thing about hair is that it always grows back.” Stu tugs at your hair pointedly. “Ouch.” 

"Rude.” 

“Billy started it.”

Billy half scoffs. “Just asked a question.” 

A pointed question. You’re about to point that out, but then you hear the tell tale snap of a hair tie being pulled off of a wrist. Stu twists it around your hair carefully and you ease. He lingers, fingertips brushing against your neck before releasing you.

You tilt your head slightly, surprised at how well your hair is pulled off your neck. Not tight enough to feel pulled or like the start of a headache but not loose enough to be annoying. Even though there was some hesitance, he did a lot better than you thought he would. Better than most boys would have done. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have assumed he had never done anything like this before. You know about his older sister, and while she’s a sore subject now, maybe there was a time when she wasn’t. And even if that’s a stretch, Stu’s a total flirt that’s been circling around a relationship with Tatum for a minute now. 

 Your fingers brush against the end of your hair. “You did good.” 

“Give me some credit, babydoll.” You wrinkle your nose at that and Stu grins. “I’ve had a lot of practice. When a girl gives he--” 

“Ew.” And just like that, the moment ends. “You’re gross, I hope you know that.” 

“He knows,” Billy mumbles, tone extra casual to compensate for his slight smile, “Gets off on it, too.” 

You snort, an ungracefully sharp laugh as you sink further into the couch. Stu lets out a sound of protest, shooting a glare in Billy’s direction. “Fuck off.” You laugh again. “Both of you.”

Stu scoots away from you. With a sigh, you reach forward. He plays up his pain for a second but eventually relents, letting you tug his hand into the space between you two. 

---- 

It’s twisting--the world, your mind, the blank spot of the wall you’re tying to focus on. All of it. Swirling at a rate that’s practically nauseating as emotions you can’t fully label in your current state spur on the feelings. They’re a fog, disorientating and complicated. You don’t want to figure out each hue of your feelings so you label them under one umbrella: bad. 

You take a breath that’s meant to settle you, but it does the opposite. Your unsteadiness leaves you instinctually wanting to reach over, to grab Stu’s arm and stabilize yourself. But he’s standing there with that same illegible, yet clearly irritated expression. You’re not sure if it’s the beer on an empty stomach or what happened five minutes ago or the silence, but the yellowish tinge of the bathroom’s light adds something to Stu’s features. Something bordering on eerie. 

Part of you wants to speak, the rest of you feels like the best thing you can do is just keep standing there. You’re not convinced that Stu’s anger is fully directed at the third party. He’s at the very least annoyed at you. 

Leave it to Stu to think that you’re taking the side of the guy that kept hitting on you despite how visibly uncomfortable you got just because you didn’t want things escalating. It wasn’t worth it. Was the guy an annoying asshole? Yes. But you had it under control and Sidney and Tatum were right there. It wasn’t exactly dire. 

The quiet is ebbing at your patience. There’s probably some perfect thing to say to shatter the tension, but you can’t think of anything clever or tactful and the last thing you can handle right now is a fight. Your mind tunes into the music that’s softened by the closed space. The thumping base is both terrible and familiar. “I hate this song.” 

Stu blinks, gaze shifting towards you. He doesn’t quite ease, but he lets out a breath that could be considered a form of lighthearted acknowledgment. You’ll take it. “Last one was worse.” 

You let yourself smile. “Definitely competition.”

He pretends to gasp. “No argument,” he shoots his reply back so quickly you nearly get whiplash, “Color me shocked.” 

The theatrics do little to take away from the lethal levels of aggression pressed into his words. That did seem too easy. “I--I didn’t--” You don’t want to explain. You shouldn’t even need to. You were keeping his ass out of trouble. “I just didn’t want you to get in trouble. It wasn’t worth it.” He’s silent for a second, which you can’t make your mind up about. “He wasn’t worth it.” 

Stu scoffs, pushing himself away from the wall. “You’re defending hi--” 

“I am not.” Ugh. Can he not hear you? If there’s anyone in this situation that you’re trying to defend, to protect it’s Stu. You try to swallow, but your throat still feels overly dry. 

“You heard the shit he said about you.” 

Okay, speaking calmly is not working. “I don’t care about the shit he said about me, I care about you.” The blowup immediately fills you with regret. “It wasn’t that big a deal. You’ve said worse while we were literally in class.” 

Stu straightens in a way that makes his full height unignorable. You doubt that it’s intentional--he can’t help that he’s objectively tall, but noticing it now...And the way he’s looking a little beyond you with a hardened stare that feels more sober than it did a second ago. “The way he was looking at you and then he grabbed your arm.” Stu’s voice changes with no warning, taking a dark edge that nearly startles you. 

You blink, biting your tongue to keep from admitting that you had barely noticed. That sounds like purposefully playing oblivious, but it’s true. You had hardly looked at the guy until his clammy fingers were around your forearm. That had been scary. Even Sidney and Tatum had reacted. “Thanks for getting him off of me, by the way.” It feels awkward, but saying it takes a weight off of your check. “Even though the weird, testosterone match the two of you had after was totally unnecessary, it was nice of you.” 

Stu tilts his head, taking in your inability to look him in the eye. A flash of genuine shyness despite what you’ve had to drink. He can imagine your thoughts, the running of different words together to make sure you don’t say anything that he could turn into something embarrassing. It’s cute. You’re all fidgety and still a little tipsy. A rush of fondness strikes him with no warning. It’s dangerous, distracting when paired with the little alcohol he did let himself drink. 

It’s too much and he’s not used to it. The feelings are a web and his mind tangles around all he could say. A mix of the obscene kind of jokes that always make you role your eyes fondly and genuine comments that all burn down to the same, general meaning: “I’d kill for you.” 

Great. The words come out at the exact second Stu recognizes the truthfulness of it. He scrambles for some kind of joke he could make to change the subject before you can think about it too much. The more you know, the more at risk you are. And this is the exact kind of slip up Billy always gives him shit about. 

You smile, either unaware of the intensity behind his words or just choosing to ignore it. “Then it’s a good thing I wouldn’t ask you to. You’re too pretty for jail.” 

Your casual acceptance makes it easy. Stu lets himself smile for just a second before letting his mouth fall open in mock hurt. “I wouldn’t get caught, babe. I’m slasher material.” You raise your eyebrows in a silent challenge. “And you’ve seen these guns.” He flexes one arm, waiting for your attention to settle on that before reaching for you with his still free hand. Your yelp is more of a laugh than anything else. “I’d be fine.” 

Stu pulls you away from the bathroom door and towards his chest. You halfheartedly fight against him, twisting your wrist back in a way that’d be more efficient if it wasn’t for your laughter. “Stu.” 

“What?” You push back, Stu’s fingers tighten just slightly. “Just proving my point, sweetheart.” Another laugh as his first hand finds your waist. “Practicing what I preach.” 

After a second of play fighting, Stu gets you close enough that there’s no point in resisting. It’s somehow farther and closer than a hug, especially when Stu angles his head downwards. 

You like the closeness more than you should. It makes your head feel too jittery, but the rest of you so warm you almost don’t mind the awful music. “This party sucks.” Stu’s eyes focus on the slight pout of your lips. “Want to go and watch a movie or something and then pretend that we stayed here until later so Billy never has to know that he was right about how much this party would suck?”  

Stu tugs on your arm, placing a quick kiss to your forehead. “Trying to get me back to your place?” You bite your tongue to avoid giggling again. The last thing he needs is encouragement. “Trying to take advantage of me? Because I promise you won’t have to work that hard at it.” 

You roll your eyes, half debating pulling away. “I’m taking back my offer.” 

“Hey--no take backs,” he squeezes your arm slightly and you resist for the sake of it, “C’mon, I’ll let you pick the movie if you sleepover.”

The offer surprises you as much as it doesn’t. Stu invites you more and more the longer his parents are out of town. He never says it, but you feel like it’s his way of keeping people around, reducing the quiet in his almost perpetually empty house. 

“Deal.” 

[ahdkshax]

A Brief Rant about House of Leaves

House of Leaves is a book written by Mark Z. Danielewski written by Zampanó and edited by Johnny Truant. This is the story of a story of a house where the space inside doesn't match what it should be outside. It's most well known for the "Navidson Hallway," a hallway from a closet that spans 5 and a half minutes long, despite the exterior of the house never changing. This brief oddity of the house sparks the beginning of The Navidson Record, a (home? hollywood?) film chronicling these spacial anomalies and all that comes with them.

But you probably already know that.

...

I just finished House of Leaves and I have a lot to say. As in an extraordinary amount to say. And I want to get it out before I lose my mind.

This rant will spoil major aspects of House of Leaves. I recommend reading the book before viewing this post, especially if that brief synopsis intrigued you. But, if you know what the book is all about or it's not for you for various reasons, you're always welcome to read this too. I won't mind.

Here are content warnings for topics this post will review:

Unreality and Unfiction

Brief mention of suicide

Violence/Death

I lied. This won't be brief.

- A Crash Course in Chekhov's Gun Factory

One of the first things I noticed in House of Leaves was the usage of setups and payoffs, not simply in the simple "this feature is here in the beginning and so will be paid off in the end (which does happen)" but more of the kind of horrible realization.

Take, for instance, the earliest Explorations. There's the one part where Navidson wanders into the hallway and finally discovers the Atrium, a space so large it can't photograph. In this exploration, Navidson nearly gets lost in the house, ever changing and turning him around endlessly as it groans on and on. This section was terrifying to me, not just because of how skilled Danielewski's writing was at this point, but because of a few pages earlier.

See, in House of Leaves, you know there are the Johnny Interludes as I will call them: times where the editor interrupts the story to talk about something with himself, treating his footnotes as more of a diary in these instances. And, just before this interlude, the book decided to talk about echoes--specifically the science of echoes, the science where you need over 50 square feet in a room to hear an echo back.

Take my fear when, after this Interlude, we are shown that Navidson is lured back home not by light or wire, but by echoes in a house that is far too small for such a thing, and these are echoes of his terrified daughter, written hauntingly to have the beginning of the word cut off to clue the reader into what was said, yet keep that weight of an echo on us in this instant.

These happen everywhere in House of Leaves, to the point that I would get nervous looking at an Interlude wall because I was scared the payoff would hit too hard. Then, more payoffs happened, of the children's drawing of their house being a black square that was referenced in a footnote about children in traumatic times drawing their houses. I know this is a staple of storytelling in general, but just the way it was done, the distraction and payoff with the intent of letting the reader sit with the gun on the mantle and think about the thousand of ways for it to go off, only for it to blow and a second, smaller gun coming out. Maybe I just don't read enough, but this was an amazing use of setup and follow-through.[1]

The final segment to this echo setup, of course, is found on page 73, where Navidson has escaped the hallway and records himself talking about last night, where he is interrupted by his daughter. As a quote from the book:

""Come play with me Daddy." Navidson lifts his daughter onto his lap. "Okay, what do you want to play?" "I don't know," she shrugs. "Always." "What's always?" But before she can answer, he starts tickling her around the neck and Daisy dissolves into bursts of delight.

"Despite the tremendous amount of material generated by Exploration A, no one has ever commented on the game Daisy wants to play with her father, perhaps because everyone assumes it is either a request "to play always" or just a childish neologism. Then again, "always" slightly mispronounces "hallways." It also echoes it."

(House of leaves, page 73)

[2]

- Scientific Horror

There's going through and telling about how echoes shouldn't exist within the walls of the house--but there's showing the scientific reasoning behind why.

This is something that shares common ground with middle school me's favorite book, Jurassic Park: Scientific Horror, explaining why what I'm reading is terrifying. My first encounter with it was with the echoes mentioned in the previous section, where the readers were given a definitive number of the minimum size of the hallway, but this is not my favorite way it had been used.

In Exploration #4, the rescue mission, Navidson and his brother Tom were working together to bring the character Reston up from a flight of stairs previously thought to have been bottomless. When Tom lowered the rope from the top that he used to pull Reston up, the world around the three of them suddenly changed and we see, in real time, the house change its shape, turning a 20 foot deep hole into something much, much deeper.

Navidson stands at the bottom of the hole waiting for the cue that Reston made it up safely: a quarter dropped to the bottom of the stairs. He waits for an hour before finally hearing the coin hit the ground.

The only problem?

Shortly after Reston vanished from Navidson's sight, Tom had pulled him to safety and dropped the coin.

An hour later it hit the ground.

Normally, this would be freaky in and of itself, but it's made a thousand times more nerve wracking when you look down to the footnote and see in those small letters that this coin had been falling for 27,273 miles. 2,371 miles longer than the Earth is wide.

This also means Navidson is trapped.

- The Importance of Layout

I felt it's important that the most famous part of House of Leaves gets its own segment in this rant. For justice, I am linking it here so I am able to show examples of the various text layouts and what they mean in the book.

But, as a TL;DR for people who do not want to click on the link for one reason or another, I will write this:

The various textual layouts not only give an extremely good insight into how the characters feel and see their surroundings at various points of the book. Not only is this a fascinating way to show instead of tell and a brilliant way to control pacing, but it also mirrors a footnote in the book about how the hallway in the house reacts to people, leading to the interpretation that the book itself is the house in the story.[3]

- Keys of Black and Grey

One thing I noticed while reading was the prevalence of black and grey in the book, not only on the distinguished cover, but in the book entirely. Every facet of the house that is, for lack of better term, physically incorrect, turns an ashy color. Maybe that's the reason behind Ash Tree Lane.

But beyond that, black and grey are often seen in the book. Black as the parts Zampanó wanted removed from the book. Black as the stakes Johnny removes from Zampanó and he is cursed with a desire to finish the Navidson Record. Black as the ink that Johnny spills over the scientific section regarding the wall samples where he has finally crossed that threshold from losing his mind because of the book to it being completely and utterly lost. Black as Holloway's body is absorbed into the house, black as Tom is dragged deep into the house then plummeting to his death.

To find out everything related to black, I'd have to reread the book again, which I will do (just not right now as this took me a month to read) but there is a theme. Maybe its the show absence. Maybe its to show madness. Or maybe it's just black.

- A Love Story

House of Leaves is an ergodic horror novel. That was the intent with writing it.

But, as I finished the story and I wiped the tears from my face, I realized something else.

House of Leaves isn't just a horror novel. It's a love story.

If you've gone this far down the post without reading the book, unless you cannot read it in any way, I suggest you leave now. This spoils the very ending of the book.

At the beginning of the book, it's said that Will Navidson and Karen Green move their family into the small home on Ash Tree Lane to become closer as a family.

Through the book, through the trials and tortures the family endures, they break apart. Despite the dozens of times Navidson holds Karen and carries her around through them knowing each other, they break apart.

Karen becomes extremely claustrophobic.

Navidson goes crazy.

Navidson returns to the House one more time after writing a suicide letter to his wife and telling her just how much he loves her. He mourns the loss of his brother who saved his children in Exploration #4, where he was consumed by the house. He mourns the young child he took a photo of instead of helping. He mourns what his life was and he wants to at least try and make things right before he leaves for his final journey.

Karen goes after him. She returns to a calm house, like they left it, no hallway to be seen and in the walls she hears Navidson speak, and she stays, despite acting as if she hadn't a care in the world, she stays for the sound of his voice when no one else can hear it.

His clothes appear in the children's room along with some tapes.

Karen watches them.

Navidson reads House of Leaves.

And the back wall reveals an all too familiar void to which Karen lights a lantern and she enters in.

The void closes.

And the two are outside.

And Karen is holding Navidson in her arms, just like he does to her.

The purpose of the house was always to bring the family together. It just took a while for it to finally happen.[4]