#peter doesnt give a shit

[ljlokijinx]

Steve: Spidey, you are BLEEDING from a STAB wound!

Peter: Do I look like I care?

Steve: Not really no..

Peter: Why do you think that is?

Steve:....

Peter: It's because I'm a bad actor bitch.

Steve: I walked right into that one didn't I?

Tony: Yeah, you really did.

[awhoreintheory]

I need someone to write a feral 14-year-old, freshly dead uncle, angry at world, pre-vigilante Peter ending up in gotham

Because??? Can you imagine the chaos???

Peter gets dragged into DC, maybe a switch up of the circumstances on how he ends up in gotham? I'm thinking like. Either a futuristic science thing or magic, and Dink's DNA is placed in it (deliberately or not) and it's supposed to pull the closest alternate variant, but it malfunctions and knabs whatever shares the DNA

Peter falls through a portal and immediately starts cursing people out, maybe he punches someone, who knows

"Who is this spicey teenager and why are they calling me a bitch?" And Bruce looks at him and he's literally his first Robin

OR flip the angry grieving teen and you can have a complete shut down??

Honestly, however you think a newly super powered and grieving teen would react in general

[junibgoode]

something about how just. white miguel is in the comics like in the way he's drawn is always just so odd to me. bc here I am in like 2021 discovering omg latino spiderman comics? and he looks like this

listen im a paler latino but idk. not even a little tan dawg 💀

(this isn't a statement on what hispanic people can or can't look like, I'm the last person to say that. but I'm allowed to read comics and want to see someone who looks more like me)

[mouseratz]

ah. so like issue 31 is where ASM gets actually good and not in the "weird sixties stuff" way. I think it would be worse without the buildup but the buildup isn't particularly special- but this shift in storytelling is pretty obvious despite having many of the same elements. i see why this stands out as a big one

[slutforgarlogan]

"You can check if you like" | Peter Maximoff x F! Reader

Summary: Peter comes back from a mission with a wound and you patch him up. He takes the opportunity to tease you.

Warnings: nsfw content, fingering, teasing, Peter being a cocky asshole

"Oh my god what happened to you?" you jump up from your seat when the team gets back from their mission, noticing the bleeding coming from your boyfriends head. You'd be lying if you said he didn't look hot all bloodied up, but you were too concerned with his wellbeing to indulge in the urge to make out with him.

Peter gives you his usual cocky smile, ignoring your concern "I'm fine babe, its just a scratch." You aren't convinced, but you know he wont go back on the statement, ever the cocky bitch despite his constant dramatics. You raise an eyebrow at him to indicate you dont believe him, "Please just let me look at it anyway"

Peter rolls his eyes and groans, smiling at you playfully while he does so - but he doesn't protest and takes you to one of the bathrooms with a fwip.

Though he does that all the time, you never expect it - and the speed always makes you feel ill and disoriented. You take a second to ground yourself, before getting the first aid things out of the bathroom cabinet to sort him out, and speaking to him as you rifle through it. "You're okay everywhere else yeah, nothing got through your suit?"

"You can check if you like" His tone is suggestive and he wiggles his eyebrows, and you roll your eyes at his answer - taking that as a no. He watches you for a second, and then sits down on the closed toilet lid before you have the chance to tell him to.

You move to stand in front of him, subconsciously situating yourself between his legs where he was practically manspread, and you push his goggles onto the top of his head, trying to make sure his hair stays tucked under them and out the way. The cut looks deep, and you wince a little thinking about it. You lock eyes with him as you pick up a little cotton pad and alcohol to clean the wound - you've done this a fair few times and he knows the drill, but you warn him regardless. "It's gonna sting a second Quickie"

You press the alochol soaked cotton pad on the wound, making sure to be gentle, and Peter grips onto the nearest thing when you do so, which happens to be your thigh. The feel of his hand on you shoots to your core immediately, and your breath hitches for half a second before you catch yourself and ignore it. You keep cleaning the wound, eventually moving on to clean the dried blood around it, and Peters leg is bouncing as he starts to get bored and restless.

You lock eyes with him and lean back a second. "Peter, sit still, find something in here to distract yourself im nearly done i promise" There's a certain look in his eye when he looks at you, and you can see an idea forming in his head, and you worry slightly what ridiculous idea you've accidentally caused him to have, but you get back to what you're doing anyway.

As you grab a roll of bandaid and scissors to cut it down to fit the wound, you feel a hand at the top of your thigh, fingers hooking into your panties to get them down a little - you try to ignore it and focus on finishing what you're doing, holding the roll up unrolling a little bit to see how much you need.

You hear a little cocky laugh from Peter as his finger prods at your folds and you could have ripped his suit off him there and then. But you try not to react, steadying your breathing before you look at him. "Whats funny"

He looks up at you, a shit eating grin on his face. "You're so wet and i haven't even touched you"

A pink shade dusks over your cheeks as you roll your eyes, in your head you know exactly what made you wet, but you know he'll poke fun at you for it so you don't tell him. "Shut up"

You cut a bit of a bandaid off the roll, big enough to fit the wound, and as you do so, he slides a finger into you, thrusting it in and out at a painfully slow pace - but he doesnt take long to slide a second finger in. He is still in his suit, and the gloves of the suit feel weird. The feeling is foreign but good. Your breathing goes a bit shaky as you try to concentrate, putting the roll down and picking up the bit you cut off, flipping it around to peel the back off, struggling a little fiddling with it.

Peter speeds up his fingers, curling them inside you to hit the spot that makes you whine a little, earning the same shit eating grin as before as he makes sure to keep hitting that spot. He brings his other hand to circle your clit as you finally get the back off the band aid, and you moan out as he draws figure 8's over the sensitive bud. "Fuckk Peter"

You stick the band-aid over the wound carefully but quickly, placing your hands on his shoulders as soon as you're done, breathing heavily and whimpering a bit. "Peter please"

He speeds up the finger on your clit, practically vibrating it and you moan loudly, legs shaking as you try hold yourself up properly and your walls clench around his fingers a little.

Thats when he stops. You look at him with pleading eyes "What the fuck"

He laughs a little "You've finsihed patching me up"

You look at him dumbfounded and annoyed, you open your mouth to protest but he speaks before you.

"You wanna check under my suit now?"

[stuckydrewx]

Saw that some people were talking about Peter and Bucky being father and son, so i wanted to rec some fics about them being father and son and also them being good pals :))) i really recommend reading all of these. <333

(14/05/25, updated with a few more recs and the fics are properly linked)

Bucky being a father figure

taking my time but i don't know where This one might be them being good pals but i think of it as Bucky being a father figure

timshel (series) This is a series but the first one, is the one i rcommend the most, its about Peter growing up in Hydra with Bucky, warning for a lot of angst (espescially the first one), when i first read it, i read it all in 3 hours and cried throughout the entire thing XD

broken wing. This one is another Hydra Peter, it's post-civil war, it's mainly Steve being a parental figure to peter, but Bucky is still there, anyway its very good and steve and bucky are pining idiots (but who's surprised?)

Beautiful Ghosts This one is about Bucky living on his own pre-civil war, and he doesnt have any memory of anyone until one day he remebers, and its sad but has a happy ending :)

Bucky Barnes, the Good Dad (series) This one's a short series and so soo cute, its baby peter and dad Bucky

Astronomy In Reverse AMAZING. oml it's soooo goooddddd, it's pre-civil war (pretty fuckin angsty btw, but i mean, its bucky barnes and peter parker)

Stucky Shares Custody of Peter Parker (series) This series is so fucking good, the first fic is my fav, Bucky escapes from hydra with peter (who's 12 in this series im pretty sure), and gives him to steve, it's so good. Bucky also saves the Maximoff twins and they all become a family its so fucking cute, and obviously angsty, since y'know, hydra.

longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak This one also has irondad but i still really enjoyed it (again, very angsty due to hydra shit)

5 Times Peter met the Winter Soldier SO GOOD. So cute, i loved it.

Bucky and peter being good pals

The Falcon & The Winter Soldier + Spider-Man This one is set during TFATWS (its basically peter tagging alongside Sam and Bucky, uninvited) and it has sambucky.

so this is christmas (war is over) This one is set after No Way Home where only Clint and Bucky remember peter

anger managment This one is sad & angsty, Peter was kidnapped by hydra for a while, and this is after he gets rescued, Bucky helps him recover

Baking at the Witching Hour Peter tries baking. Bucky is horrified. They bake together.

Peter & Bucky are Pals (series) Ohmylord, this series is so cute and amazing, its set in the same universe as owlet's Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail series (which i extremlyyyyy recommend oml its amazing and a classic) but you don't need to read that to understand this one, and this one has irondad but its so minor and Bucky is--in my opinion--much more of a father figure to peter and you can easily skip over the irondad parts if you want.

Based off of Peter & Bucky are Pals (series) Short series, Bucky and Peter are so cute, as always. Set in the same universe as the last one.

You can definitely find more but these are the ones i have bookmarked

I really hope you enjoy reading these! :))

Tags: @chiseplushie @myladyship

[kingorqueenofnarnia]

TCON HEADCANON

.

Peter used to be the tallest of the four, until Susan turned fourteen and shot up to six feet— one inch taller than him. It earned him weeks of teasing from his three little shits until he hit sixteen and and shot up half a foot, reaching an astounding six feet four inches. This was in the middle of a campaign against the Raiders of Korentha, and even he did not realise he had grown until he returned home from war and suddenly he had to tilt his head down to look at Susan. Susan sulked for days, and was only appeased when Peter gifted her a beautiful pair of high heels. Peter likes being tall, even though he's not as tall as a Centaur— Susan likes his bear hugs, and he gets to make fun of the younger ones for being tiny squirts. Lucy regularly climbs him like a jungle gym until she hits her own growth spurt.

Susan cut an imposing figure at 15, with wide shoulders and a slender torso, standing at an impressive 6 feet even without her famous heels. She hated it at first— girls from England were short, much shorter than her, and so were many of the men. She always felt a little self conscious in a crowd because of how she towered over the average human. In Narnia, however, it was different. Druids and Naiads and Dryads regularly reached six feet, and centaurs were rarely shorter than seven. Fauns were short, but Bears stood on their hind legs and towered over her only to hand out the warmest hugs Susan had ever experienced apart from Peter's. Secretly though, no matter how much she teased Peter about being shorter than her, she was glad when he grew taller than her. (His hugs aren't as comforting if you're taller than him, alright?)

Halfway through Edmund's fifteenth year of existence, he was both shocked and pleased to find out he did not need to tilt his head back to look at Peter anymore. Peter was 18 and a giant, bear-like warrior king, his furs and long braids and armour making him look even larger, and Edmund was a lanky teenager with remnants of baby fat still on his cheeks and wiry muscle wrapped around thin bones— both of them were the same height, but Edmund looked boyish where Peter looked manly. It took him till he was in his early twenties to match Peter's bulk, but he stayed as tall as Peter for the rest of his life, not an inch here or there. (and Peter thanks the Fates for that. He doesnt know if he could withstand the amount of heckling that would come with being shorter than his brother.)

Lucy was the shortest of them her entire life. Until she was 14, she was about 5ft 4 inches, at which point she started growing like a weed and stopped at the very admirable height of five feet ten inches— just two inches short of Susan's height. It infuriated her to no end; being shorter than everyone was annoying, and even more so when you weren't actually short at all, just shorter than your siblings. At 5'10, she towered over many Narnian species as well as her classmates when she returned to England and went through puberty a second time, but she loved it. She loved being taller, loved that she was only shorter than her siblings— they may annoy her by teasing her about their heights, but being smaller meant the hugs were better, and really, why would she give up on a chance to climb Peter like a monkey so she could sit on his shoulders? No, Su, she doesn't care that it looks uncouth.

[sourgreenlupin]

james being convinced that remus and sirius are together even though they’re not

remus: hey sirius, do you wanna skip next class with me?

sirius: yeah obvi-

james: ARE YOU GUYS SKIPPING TO FUCK ???

sirius: james what the hell-

remus: james fucking merlin-

james catching remus looking at sirius while sirius has a sucker

james: do you wish you were that sucker moony?

sirius: (throws the sucker at james)

remus: (bashing james’ head into the table) hey! next full moon do me a favor and stay human!

remus and sirius being asleep on the couch in the common room, on opposite ends so they’re not even near each other

james: psst evans, do you think they’re dreaming about each other?

lily: i think they’re dreaming about digging your grave and burying you alive. merlins sake, leave them alone!

sirius: she’s right.

for sirius’ birthday james gets him a heart-shaped locket with a picture of him and remus. it has their initials carved into it.

sirius: james, i know you think me and moony fucked off from class one day and ELOPED ?? but if you dont knock it off, i swear im going to feed you to the squid.

and then when remus and sirius do actually get together, they were in sirius’ bed. remus just ‘hey. what if james was on to something?’

and they have their moment, but james saw remus sneak over, and prepared as always, is quietly pulling out a camera, just in case.

remus and sirius had just finished their emotional confessions, and were sitting there, remus’ hand still clutching sirius’ shirt collar, sirius’ hand on his jaw.

and james catches a picture of them staring at each other in this position. sirius and remus see the brightest light they’ve ever seen as the flash goes off, and remus falls to the floor while james is jumping up and down and screaming and waking up the entire floor. and hes yelling about finally having proof and finally proving lily wrong.

peter is throwing everything he can find at james to get him to shut the fuck up. there’s been 12 knocks at the door and various screams of ‘ITS 4 AM’. remus has scurried his way underneath sirius’ bed. and sirius is on the floor in tears laughing.

then james drops the picture on the ground cause something peter threw knocked it out of his hands. and remus immediately sets it on fire.

james drops to his knees and starts crying so hard he throws up. sirius is still losing his shit on the floor and remus is trying not to laugh from his spot under the bed. peter ends up just leaving and sleeping downstairs.

remus ends up having to give james a formal apology, agreeing to let him take another picture, and he agrees to name his firstborn after him. (remus doesnt mention that him and sirius cannot anatomically have children)

[weebsinstash]

As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

[ljlokijinx]

Peter at some point probably, after having half a syringe of an unknown liquid injected into him: What the fuck is this shit?

The enemy: Oh it's just a tid bit of cyanide, you know like twice the amount needed dose to kill you. If you want the antidote, give up.

Peter: *cackles menacingly* I drink litres of Foxglove tea because it tastes good and gets me high unlike coke or vodka. This is like what *takes out the syringe still in his neck and takes a sip out of it* 50 mg of cyanide mixed with water? I won't even get tipsy from it!

Tony: Peter please-

Fun fact I actually helped myself with Google for the measurements. When I Googled the cyanide the answers where "mental health help" and suicide hotlines 😘

[barty-batty-crouchjr]

intro post

what up fuckers its barty crouch jr

he/they, gay fuck, 17, Slytherin

the best bitches i know

Evan - @m0re-th0rn-than-r0se the best fuckhead ever

Pandora - @ghostwhispererpanda chill bitch fr

Regulus - @fadingst4r my bestie fr awesome dude

other bitches

Sirius - @scorchingst4r regs loser brother

James - @prong-plural cant play quidditch

Remus - @where-isthe-wolf nerd and somehow doesnt get caught for shit

Peter - @peterpiperpettigrew shy dude ig

Lily - @it-girl-lily idk seems chill enough

McKinnon - @mckinnonfromars gay chaos bitch love to see it wrong house tho

Mary - @bigmacmary idk some gryffindor

Xeno - @weedosmokingweird absolute lad gives me the best weed

Alice - @notinwonderland-fortescue seems chill ig idk her really

rp blog message @prong-plural if you want to join

[regulusmoonbeam]

listen. LISTEN. im a peter pettigrew fan. fan peter pettigrew my son. HOW R PPL HATING ON THIS.

baby.. im gonna hold ur hand while i say this... i dont give a FUUUCK about canon..

u see my peter wouldnt do what canon peter did (not exactly he's still a little shit 😭😭)

and with this i can appreciate peter n regulus friendship!! they would be hellspawns 2gether

ALSO. DO I SHIP PARTYVAN?? NAH NOT RLLY. BUT. LEAVE MY PARTYVAN LUVERS ALONEEE!!!

"It doesnt make sense 😒😒" BITCH THIS IS MARAUDERS 😭😭 IF WE R GETTING TECHNICAL IT COULD MAKE MORE SENSE THAN SOME OF OUR OTHER SHIPS CANONICALLY SEEING AS THEY WERE ALL DEATHEATERS!

outside of a bartylus universe barty has def hooked up w peter. so has evan. unfortunately peter gets around 😭😭

[stevenrogered]

I’m sorry it’s just so crazy to me that tim would let the funeral leak and then have the audacity to give an interview saying he didn’t think there would be any interest in them filming?? My brother in Christ you literally let a dude livestream the entire thing

okay walk with me in the delusion that bobby is alive for a second here lol

that white flash after chimney got injected with the cure SCREAMS coma dream. not to mention that the show ended with him saying the last words of the episode, not athena or even buck

you know how in shows they always like to show the person's face as they zip up the body bag? guess who's face WE DID NOT SEE? sure we saw the body bag, but not who was in it

eddie not being there. regardless of how this turns out, doing this entire arc without eddie was fucked up. theres no nice way to say it. maybe im giving them too much credit here but purposely leaving him out of this storyline and completely off camera for the entire thing does not sit right with me

and idgaf what tim minear says, i do not think they would have been stupid enough to film his funeral out in the open, with MULTIPLE people taking pics and video, that weird dude livestreaming and the cast signing autographs and such. the show is on abc, they have a huge budget, you're telling me that a main character's death/funeral wasn't given ANY kind of secrecy or privacy? ESPECIALLY after they were legitimately mad/upset that the buddie goodbye hug got leaked when eddie moved to texas? thats not adding up

the fact that this isnt a season finale and theres 3 entire episodes left and we know theres another season coming too? if they were going to permanently kill off a main character, they would have done it in the finale.

this creates a ton of buzz for the show, and not in a good way. but if they reverse it, everyone will watch. even though peter's giving exit interviews and stuff, they can still have bobby retire and peter leave the show (even if i dont like that either) but to go from a show where no one dies (which, lets be real, is a big reason why people love the show. there's always risk and you can put them through a bunch of shit but we know they'll be okay in the end) to this just for shock value is dumb af and WILL make you lose a good chunk of your audience.

the main general audience doesnt give af about buddie or bucktommy or ship wars or whatever. they watch for angela and peter

[i-cant-sing]

Whispers in your ear like a devil on your shoulder: you should make the Miguel O'Hara scenarios. Think of the hot dad energy he would emanate :))))))

Jokes aside, it is truly up to you what to write and I would always read it, but I am begging on my hands and knees for you to tell us the platonic yandere Miguel O'Hara scenarios you have thought of.

Nooo stooopppp girll- *puts on Miguel's theme music in the background* ahh shit here we go.

Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara as a dad:

Okay, so im just gonna word vomit here and yall make sense of it, but like the first thing that comes to mind when I think about yandere dad Miguel is that him kidnapping daughter reader from a universe where he doesn't exist, so he's technically not breaking canon or whatever and really, it doesnt even matter if you're his bio kid or not, like u could be a literal random civilian but if he is drawn to u, then he is. And while some of yall say "oh come on, Miguel cant be like that. He doesn't make careless/thoughtless decisions like that" I'm sorry, but is this not the same person who had the nerve to step in as his dead self from an AU and sleep with his parallel universe's wife and father someone else's kid??? Granted, they did end up dying but really, the only difference between that decision and this decision to kidnap u is to make sure that u don't end up dyingggg.

Moving on, he kidnaps u, makes up some bs about your life being in danger and blah blah blah, you HAVE to stay by his side, okay??? And at first, reader is like "umm okay?" because who tf wouldnt agree with SPIDERMAN??? (especially one who looks like Miguel? he is already giving dad vibes)

And the thing with Miguel is that he super protective (because PTSD) and he's possessive too, so the only person you're allowed to hang out with is Mayday (she is the cutest, i would die to have a kid like her ngl) because he doesnt see her as a threat (someone who could take u away from him). ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with Miles (because he hates that kid, pain in his ass/bane of his existence) and pretty much all other spiderpersons as well because all of them are sarcastic and he does not need them rubbing off on u. The only other person he would trust u with is Peter B, probably when Miguel needs a babysitter (because u learned to mess with his tech-typy-locks and traps, so u need an actual person to keep eyes on u. curse the universe for u being smart like ur papa), and the biggest reason he does trust peter with u is because since peter is a father himself, he would definitely know that while miguel's methods are wrong, in his own way, he is protecting u, and peter b knows that he would do absolutely anything to keep his daughter safe too. Also- since peter has mayday, if he were to actually take u away from Miguel, then Miguel would 10000% kidnap mayday and use her against peter too until he inevitably has to return u to him.

Now Miguel is emotionally crippled due to his trauma, so he's not great at expressing his feelings, at least not when you're awake. When you're asleep, maybe his eyes turn a little softer, maybe he cups your cheek, some guilt and sadness swirling in his eyes when he sees your tear stained cheek (because u missed ur family. or maybe u got told off by Miguel in front of everyone), presses a soft kiss to your forehead and mumbles something in spanish ("you will understand in due time, mi hija.") Definitely has cameras in your room, so he looks at you through the screen and sighs when u flop on the bed and stuff your head in the pillow and start crying, heart slightly heavy with guilt.

Except from interacting with others and leaving the spider society/his apartment (idk where he lives), every need of yours is pretty much taken care of IF you follow his rules. If you behave, u get everything. If u yell at him, try to break out of his place etc, privileges are revoked and BAM, you are now confined to your room with no access to entertainment or any of your hobbies he allowed u to have. Those novels u liked to read? Too bad, they get thrown in the fireplace. Gaming console? Broken in his hands. Liked to cook/bake? No access to kitchen because u are now locked in your room.

Miguel has one important rule- you MUST obey him, under all circumstances, no questions asked. If he tells you to go to your room, honey go before his eyes turn sharp and he has to manhandle you. If he tells you to eat dinner with him, you need to eat food even if you are full. And if he's forbidden you from going to the locked room in his place that's full of info on you and your old fam, then its best for everyone for u to obey.

Now, while Miguel does have trouble expressing emotions (i mean, the most affection he's shown is head pats and if u are really really sad, then yes, smooches on the forehead.) but he has no trouble expressing anger and rage. If u mess up real bad, in the sense where u disobey him and end up hurting yourself (no matter to what degree), GIRL HE IS SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF AT YOU (like the scene from the movie where he's yelling at miles). I mean, he's so mad, he legit picks you up and hauls you to your room, where he's yelling at u even more, using the terms "child" "kid" and patronising tone because you may think you're a grown up (u might even be) but he will ALWAYS view u as a kid- THE KID he lost, the child he promised to protect and somehow get redemption, or at the very least, fill the empty hole in his heart.

And since nobody thought to inform me that my man Miguel is a literal VAMPIRE and that his fangs are not just for show to attract all kinds of viewrs, we gonna talk about that as well. Does he use them on reader when she finds out that Miguel actually fucking murdered her real fam (maybe not directly kill them, because he is a hero after all. Maybe in the sense that he knew they were gonna die, you would too unless he took u away, he just didnt bother calculating the repercussions if he did indeed save your family.) and reader is now hyperventilating and trying to claw her way out of his arms but muscled arms only pull u tighter against his chest and he just bites ur neck to let the venom paralyse you long enough for him to not only offer an explanation for his actions, but also put a tracker in you and chain u to your bed.

Does Miguel's heart absolutely shatter at your body wracking sobs and distressed state as you realise you have lost your family? Yes. Does he apologise? Never. Does he like seeing you in pain? NO. Will he cause you even more pain? ...yes, if circumstances change.

Hurting you is the last the thing he's do, but its still something he would do. He wont enjoy it, but if u messed up real bad (escaped and endangered yourself) then Miguel, with a very heavy heart will snap your ankles and limit your ability to walk for months (if not for life). This is one of his harshest punishments, and punishments are immeadiately followed with comfort, so Miguel does put your fractured bones in a cast and wipes the tears from his eyes, shushing you gently as he softly explains why he did what he did, how you dont need to worry about anything because since you took your punishment so well, Miguel will help you (he will carry you around everywhere), and maybe if you're in too much pain, he may give you some drugs(or even his venom) to put you to sleep right away.

He has lost too much, too many times. His wounds are deep and still fresh, he is not taking any chances... especially not with you.

okay thats all i have for now(its a lie, i just need to pee) but feel free to send in ur asks/thoughts/scenarios.

[mysexy-anxiety]

random marauder hc: part time/ summer jobs i think they’d work (based on all the jobs ive at)

james potter definitely works at chick fil a during the summer. mainly is either drive thru cashier and stands outside majority of his shift or is back of house on fries. when he is back of house he gives lily a little thing of fries every few hours.

sirius black definitely works at spirit halloween every year and picks up odd jobs here and there. he loves dressing up during spirit week at spirit halloween and wins almost every year, marlene won one day and ruined his streak.

remus lupin ABSOLUTELY works 2 jobs because hes bored. works at an art store as an inventory coordinator and a camp counselor. buys all types of arts and crafts supplies for the kids at the camp. works specifically with 5-6 year olds and is teaching them how to read.

peter pettigrew would work at a barbecue restaurant, closing shifts specifically, and is mainly on drive thru duty. definitely takes extra food home and rarely goes grocery shopping. goes maybe twice a month. gives dorcas food from the back whenever he goes to clock out.

lily evans would definitely work chick fil a, specifically bagging and front of house shifts, only closes if she’s taking someones shifts. james will send in blank orders that say ‘i love you lily <3’ after a rush. she always takes a picture before clearing the screen.

regulus black is a server at an upscale restaurant. makes more in tips than he thought he would so he starts putting it aside for hogsmead trips. 1000% gets written up because of his loud face. a customer asks a dumb question? his face immediately turns sour and its obvious he doesnt want to serve them anymore. most definitely is a hit with the older customers.

marlene mckinnon, 100% works at spirit Halloween every year with sirius, and spends the summer as a lifeguard/ camp counselor. is the type of lifeguard to not actually look at the pool and kinda just blows the whistle every couple minutes. if shes manning a waterslide, she definitely talks shit on the walkie talkies about the park drama.

for spirit halloween, she tries to win the spirit week contest and always ends up losing by like 2 points.

mary macdonald works as a party planner at an arcade. also does babysitting on the side. absolutely compares tips from both jobs. she is a great employee and her employers definitely try and keep her longer.

dorcas meadows is wholeheartedly the host at the same barbecue restaurant as peter. they see each other for less than 5 mins for shift changes. she refuses to close. always gets a lunch from peter and she drops off starbucks for him to close while she munches on the food he gave her.

barty crouch jr doesnt work during the summer but gets bored so he gets first aid certified and starts working as a camp counselor. sticks around the 9-12 year olds and laughs when they ask stupid questions. “why is your hair green?” “you think i can make a nether portal with this obsidian?” “because i dyed it.” “no thats a rock you found under the tree.”

evan rosier tutors kids during the summer for egregious prices. $250 for an hour and they finish the work in 20 minutes. he most likely gets bored and is happy that its a temporary situation.

pandora rosier became a pharmacy technician and spends the day counting and organizing medicines while whimsically talking about nargles and other animals. her coworkers think shes weird and they only keep her there so they dont have to count.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

Remus and sirius both fancy James so bad but remus is a loser and stupid and thinks he has a chance, but j ans s have been fucking for months (obv but remus was in denial or smth) so he keeps trying to seduce James and keeps asking Peter for help but Peter doesn't rly want to because HE wants James OR he's all for it cuz he wants sirius and James and separating them gives him a chance. (Either way it doesn't work)

HELP YES LMFAOO . sirius yearning for james is his natural state so like even thought herye fucking hes like sigh i love him. j&s both think remus knows bc theyre open abt it and j thinks remus is just beign nice ("he had oil!!" "for a massage" "an anal massage??") and sirius like knows remus is beign a shit but he's like ykw its fine bc he doesnt feel jealousy bc he knows no one will evr choose anyone over hm let alone JAMES choose REMUS (this isnt remus slander i swear) , peter also knws j&s r fucking and he knows everything hes smart he knows remus wants james and he knows sirius knows and yes omg hes in love w sirisu so hes like egging remus on bc if james looks at remus too long sirius wd b mad at him and hate remus so hed have to rely on peter and sure james wd b back but by then sirius wdve surely realized peter wd never look at any1 else bthim ??? it doesnt work bc james doesn't look at remus for "too long" bc hed rather gouge his eyeballs out blend them make a smoothie and drink them before looking at anyone who isnt sirius