#queer attraction

[genderqueerdykes]

its really funny that people struggle to realize that a bisexual man dating a woman is queer, and a bisexual woman dating a man is queer. have you met bisexual men? faggy. have you met bisexual women? dykey. those traits don't go away- still queer- regardless of whoever we're currently dating, if we're dating anyone at all- whoever a bisexual person is dating doesn't dictate the bisexual person's queerness, we are queer with or without a partner, whether or not we choose to date.

there is an inherent queerness to bisexuality that everyone loves to erase and i'm here to say: fuck that, bisexuals are queer 24/7, regardless of the given situation we're in. if you actually take the time to meet us, spend time in our company, and see how we actually behave and operate, you will see just how queer a bisexuals are no matter whether or not we date men, women, people or whomst ever. there is more to bisexuality than just who we date

[belinhagamer999]

Atypical marriage flags

[PT: Atypical marriage flags /END PT]

and queer marriage flags that I made

1: Green chrysanthemum flag, aromantic marriage, for aromantic couple

[IMAGE ID: The image features a color scheme of grey, purple, and black, along with the pictured central subject which is a purple flower. The flower is surrounded by a grid of alternating gray, purple lines, and black squares creating a checkered pattern. The overall impression given by the image is of a bright, fresh, and vibrant atmosphere. /END]

2: Violet flag, asexual marriage, for asexual couple

[IMAGE ID: The image features a color scheme of grey, light green, and green, along with the pictured central subject which is a green flower. The flower is surrounded by a grid of alternating gray, green lines, and light orange squares creating a checkered pattern. The overall impression given by the image is of a bright, fresh, and vibrant atmosphere. /END]

3: Sunflower flag, platonic marriage, for platonic couple

[IMAGE ID: The image has a color scheme of pink, light yellow, and orange, along with the pictured central subject which is a yellow flower. The flower is surrounded by a grid of alternating light pink, light yellow lines, and light orange squares creating a checkered pattern. The overall impression given by the image is of a bright, fresh, and vibrant atmosphere. /END ID]

colors are taken from the 3 original flags

[variousqueerthings]

I may be asexual but I am not immune to thinking about a hairy chest being gnawed at -- it won't be by me, but I hope someone is getting around to gnawing on those hairy chests. teeth marks and saliva all over them. it's what they deserve

[aberration13]

There's a lot of really good discourse out there helping queer folk realize themselves but something I don't really see spoken about that might help a lot of people is that attraction to different genders/sexes can feel vastly different to the point you don't even realize it for what it is because you aren't taught to expect it like you are with hetero attraction.

I think this is particularly useful to know for people who are bi/pan/or for lack of better phrase people who experience both hetero and non-hetero attraction but haven't realized the second part yet because once you understand what the hetero attraction feels like it becomes easy to dismiss things that don't feel the same as not also attraction. Society teaches you to expect yourself to feel the hetero feels and not to expect the rest and so when those desires present themselves they don't feel the same and often either aren't acknowledged or are assumed to be just platonic.

In reality you may have vastly different desires whether they be emotional desires, physical desires, specific body parts attracted to, or what you like about them, different internal emotional sensations or any number of things depending on who the attraction is to. We come to expect this on the small scale, but these differences aren't always small, there can be large differences in the intensity of attraction, the way that attraction makes you feel, and the way it presents itself.

[the960writers]

anon here asking about the post about queer attraction. thank you so much for looking for it, at least now i know for sure it was you who reblogged it! i'll just scroll your blog until i find it again haha. thanks again

I know it's been a million years but I found it! This is the post:

[theemomarshmallow]

Wendy! WENDY! You can’t be out here whispering, and I quote:

“I’m so close.”

MA’AM! This? The way it was whispered?? WITH THE ACCENT?? I damn near had a heart attack. I’m breathless thinking about it.

Oml I love women so much-

[teleportzz]

hey guys do the allos know that they can have qprs too? like do they know that being alloromantic doesn't mean they can't choose to be in a qpr anyway? because qprs aren't "romance-lite" for aros, they're an entirely separate kind of relationship that anyone can have. you can do this with fictional characters too. you can put characters that aren't aroace or are even canonically dating in qprs with each other just because you think that would be a cool way to play with their dynamic. it's actually very cool and you totally should.

[sweet-like-maribou]

After a mission...

... and that was Miles' bisexual awakening, i think.

[romancerepulsed]

aspec terms for beginners!

since it's trending right now, i feel like it might be helpful to clear up some basic aspec (but particularly aromantic, as we are the center of attention currently) terms. if you have absolutely any questions, i would be happy to answer, either in the replies, dms, or my inbox!

★・・・・・・★

the split attraction model (SAM): a model of human behavior that posits that, for some people, romantic and sexual attraction are not the same.

[most often this will come in the form of someone being aspec on one axis and allo (not aspec) on another. for example, a biromantic asexual may be romantically attracted to two or more genders, but sexually attracted to none. some people may even use SAM for allo identities– a bisexual lesbian may be sexually attracted to multiple genders, but only romantically attracted to women (note that this is not the only way that someone can be an mspec lesbian, just one way!). the SAM does not apply to everybody, not even all aspecs! there are non-SAM aros, for instance, who do not differentiate their aromanticism from their sexuality.]

aspec: a collection of queer spectrums centered around the lack of a certain attraction or identity. the most common spectrums under the aspec umbrella are asexual, aromantic, agender, and aplatonic, though there are many other ways to be aspec.

asexual: experiencing little to no sexual attraction.

[aces can still have sex– whether its because they experience some amount of sexual attraction or they just want to participate in sex because they find the act appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aces who have not and will never have sex. it is a spectrum.]

aromantic: experiencing little to no romantic attraction.

[aros can still have romantic partners– whether its because they experience some amount of romantic attraction or they just find relationships appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aros who have not and will never be in a romantic relationship. it is a spectrum.]

agender: having no gender or little relation to any gender.

aplatonic: experiencing little to no platonic attraction.

[similarly to aros and aces, apls can still form friendships if they so desire– whether its because they experience some amount of platonic attraction or they find friendships appealing in some other way.]

aroallo: combination of aromantic and allosexual– allosexual being someone who fully experiences sexual attraction. an aroallo, then, is someone who is aromantic but not asexual. aroallos often do not have a standard relationship with sex due to its romantic connotations and the stigma against loveless sex. someone having sex with someone else they do not love does not inherently make them aroallo, much in the same way that having a nonsexual relationship with a partner doesn't inherently make either participant asexual.

aroace: someone who is both aromantic and asexual. because aro and ace are both spectrums, an aroace may still experience some amount of attraction on either or both of those spectrums, or they may experience attraction of some other kind (platonic, tertiary, etc.), and that attraction may be only for a certain gender or genders– these are known as oriented aroaces.

queerplatonic relationship: a type of relationship that is defined only by the people within it. i have a post dedicated to explaining this in larger detail.

partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has and/or desires to have a partnership or multiple partnerships– romantic, queerplatonic, or otherwise.

non-partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has no desire to form a partnership of any kind.

romance/sex/plato favorable: an aspec who desires or would not reject a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship. they are also generally not particularly bothered by seeing these relationships in their day-to-day.

romance/sex/plato repulsed: an aspec who does not desire a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship and generally does not like seeing those relationships in their day-to-day. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily judgemental towards people who desire or participate in those relationships, they just do not desire them for themselves. repulsion often takes the form of discomfort or annoyance. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily cruel sticks-in-the-mud– they are perfectly capable of being respectful, and they very often are. repulsion does not always stem from trauma, though it certainly can.

romance/sex/plato positive: not to be confused with favorability, [x] positivity is the belief that romance, sex, and platonic relationships are human rights that should be supported and uplifted. someone can be [x] repulsed and [x] positive at the same time, because favorability/repulsion revolves around the self, and positivity/negativity extends to others.

sex/romance/plato negative: not to be confused with repulsion, [x] negativity is an inherently judgemental and harmful ideology. most commonly in the form of sex negativity, these ideologies are centered around the opposition to or personal judgement of people who engage in romance, sex, or platonic relationships. sex negativity in particular is embedded in western white supremacist societies and it is important for aspecs not to play into that.

those are the basics, but i have more information below the cut!

★・・・・・・★

> how are aspecs queer?

aspecs are queer because "queer" does not only mean LGBT. queer theory is about far more than just LGBT people– though they are undeniably a large part of it– queerness is any subversion of the traditional cisheteronormative standard. this includes things that cishets may take part in/identify with, because you do not have to be LGBT to subvert those standards. cishets who are gender-nonconforming are queer, for example. a good rule of thumb is that if you have to explain what you whole deal is to cishets, you're queer. queer does mean strange, after all.

traditional cisheteronormative conceptions of attraction, gender, and relationships do not account for aspecs. it is expected that everyone will one day form a traditional partnership with one other person, and that relationship will include sex (even if only for procreation, under some dogmas). virginity past a certain age is seen as a point of shame and something indicative of a larger problem in someone– in men, a red flag even. people past 30 without a relationship are pitied. our economic structure is build for couples and families– it's near impossible for someone to live comfortably alone. romance, friendship, and love are placed on a pedestal, treated as the meaning of life, the best thing anyone could ever experience. "love is the point of everything," as many posts on this site like to claim. people who reject these ideas are undeniably queer.

> i can get behind aros and aces, but the whole "aplatonic" thing feels like a stretch to me. how is not having friends queer? "platonic attraction" isn't even real.

aplatonicism is more than just "not having friends," and many apls have friends anyway, much in the same way that aros can date and aces can have sex. someone who does not have friends is not inherently aplatonic, they only are if they identify that little-to-no platonic attraction in themselves and choose to label themselves that way (just like how virgins aren't inherently asexual). still, apls who don't have friends exist, and they are all queer. what is a greater subversion of traditional cisheteronormative relationship structures than an outright rejection of what's seen as the most basic, fundamental relationship our culture has to offer?

you may not feel that platonic attraction is a distinct phenomenon in your own experience, and that's fine! ultimately, a lot of aspec terms exist for the utility and comfort of aspecs themselves. the SAM isn't for everyone, and platonic attraction isn't for everyone either. you do not have the authority to tell people what their own experiences are, nor should you care.

> i think it's sad that you're limiting yourself with these labels. you'll find someone one day!

for the broad majority of aspecs, our identities are not self-disciplinary, nor are they necessarily permanent. all queer people are capable of misunderstanding their identity or having a fluid identity– it is not a problem unique to being aspec. that being said, a lot of us may always be aspec and completely happy with it. being aspec is not a tragedy. the only thing i don't like about being aromantic is the judgement i receive from other people about it. non-partnering aspecs are not "missing out" on anything, because we don't even want the things we're rejecting in the first place. many of us are romance/sex/plato repulsed and are far more happy engaging with the world and with other people in different ways, because there is so, so much more to life than relationships, and it's wrong to presume that relationships are universally fit for everybody. telling an aspec that they'll find "the right person" one day is no different from telling a lesbian she'll find "the right man" one day. there is no "right person" for an aspec just as there's no "right man" for a lesbian. a lesbian is not "missing out" on a heterosexual relationship just because it's culturally perceived as superior and more fulfilling.

[disclaimer before anyone tries to do a "gotcha," i'm talking about a lesbian who is fully not attracted to men in any way. it's not like homophobes know the intricacies of gender identity and nonconformity as it pertains to homosexuality anyways.]

lastly, i wanna give a special shout out to the loveless aros and the relationship anarchists.

loveless aros are those who either feel little-to-no love as they understand it, or they are someone who supports the de-centering of love. they're worthy of a whole post of their own, but in summary: the loveless experience is all about finding joy in yourself and the countless things our world has to offer that are not dependent on the vague idea of love.

relationship anarchy is another concept worthy of its own post, but in essence it's an ideology aimed at abolishing the standard hierarchy of relationships (in the USA, depending on who you ask, its typically friendship < family < romantic partnership or friendship < romantic partnership < family) and allowing everyone the autonomy to define their relationships for themselves.

if i made any mistakes, let me know! and of course i'm willing to answer any questions anyone may have. :-3 thanks for reading my long ass post!

[genderqueerdykes]

this pride month take a moment to remember that bisexual and pansexual people are not enemies. the overlap between the two communities is massive and people choose terms based on their own personal comfort and description of how they identify and experience attraction. bisexual and pansexual people and any other mspec people are brothers in arms, friends, and lovers

[belinhagamer999]

Cannfofura

[PT: Cannfofura /END PT]

A cannibalistic attraction characterized by wanting to consume the person that you have cute attraction to so they can become a part of you, or vice versa, wanting to be eaten so you can become a part of them. This can be in a literal or metaphorical sense.

The suffix fofura at the end of the name means cuteness in Portuguese.

Flag, image id, and attraction templates made by @webby-mogai

[IMAGE ID: a rectangular flag with 13 horizontal lines. the 1st, 2nd, 12th, and 13th line are triangular. the 4th and 10th lines are wavy, and the rest are straight. line sizes in this order from top to bottom: 2 thick, 9 medium, 2 thick. the 4th line has been made to look like it is dripping from multiple spots. colors in this order starting from the top and reflected after the last listed color: salmon, reddish pink, lilac, light sky blue, pale cyan, baby blue, lighter baby blue, and snow. in the center of the flag is a heart shaped piece of meat with baby red, lilac, and shades of light blue flesh. /END ID]

[seebutdontblink]

My aromanticism is the queerest thing about me. You can't take that away from me. And you can't push me out.

[cluster-fandom]

Aroallos exist, don’t assume someone is asexual when they say they’re aromantic

[hussyknee]

I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.

Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have a history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?

Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.

Edit: I've amended the "long history" of Muslim persecution of Jews because it might be misleading in the current political climate. Zionism and antisemitic Arab nationalism are twin births resulting directly from Christian colonization, and Islamic empires tended to actually be more tolerant of other religions compared to Christianity, especially Judaism, which was considered a sibling religion. Antisemitism wasn't ideologically entrenched in Islamic tradition. It's simply that ethno-religious power will lead to ethno religious domination and intermittent cleansing of minorities, and Islam is no exception. Humans be humaning always.

[gothfatherr]

for an aro person, I fantasize a lot about intimacy. but not in a romantic context like smoochy ooky pooky boo-boo...hell no.

intimacy as in being completely emotionally open to/with someone, being so comfortable with them that you just feel safe and warm. I want to have that type of closeness with someone without having to feel guilty that I won't be able to give them romantic love.

it can be something so very deep within my core, but it's just...not romantic. is that so bad?

[neverquiteeden]

Sensual attraction got me questioning my entire life rn (could also have used the "is this a pigeon?" meme but oh well)