#respect the arospec

[avgfandomguy]

Hc: Dewey Duck is arospec or aroace

In the episode, A Nightmare on Killmonger Hill, Dewey dreams up an ideal high school and his "love interests" is an over attached blob that he feels threatened by (specifically by the concept thus the blob)

I'm going to interpret that as aroace

[legglesscat]

Oh and, by the way, asexual and aromantic people ARE queer.

Yes, even if they are heterosexual/romantic.

Yes, even if they are cis.

Yes, even if they aren’t considered ‘fully’ aromatic/asexual (greysexual, demi-romantic, ect.)

Yes, even if they are aromantic and romance favorable and/or asexual and sex favorable.

Yes, even if they don’t ‘act’ asexual and/or aromantic.

They are valid.

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[mossy-aro]

ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.

when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!

that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.

but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!

joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.

and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.

tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.

[shmaroace]

i get that there's a lot of overlap with asexuality and aromanticism but i am also getting very tired of having the two communities be viewed and treated as the same when they're not the same thing. i want to be able to have aro spaces and ace spaces and not just aroace or aspec groups.

[canonically47]

the fact that vivzie allowed shipping of her aroace character because she “doesn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun” is incredibly arophobic but none of you are ready for that conversation

you can have fun with a character without shipping them. you can write fic, draw art, cosplay, sing, act or whatever the hell, without shipping. if you must ship a character to like them, you do not like them individually, you like just to shove two characters together because god forbid they end up alone. and again, that is very arophobic and a direct result of amatonormativity in our society - but yall are still not ready for that conversation

[aromantic-diaries]

Sorry ladies but the only "romance" I need is my chemical romance. The only "head" I want is radiohead

[antispopausandstuff]

this might be a hot take, but it feels like a light smack on the face to have Lilith as aroace rep and not include Willow.

now, i have no issue with Lilith being aroace. i love Lilith and there's no actual problem with her being labeled as such.

but in comparison to Willow, who hasn't shown true romantic interest or chemistry with anyone until s2-s3 kinda pushed it in there, i do feel a little bit salty as a questioning arospec person.

i don't particularly understand why there has to be one of every type, when the 'romance' between Willow and Hunter negatively affected both of their arcs and sidelined their true character as a whole. to only have Lilith as the aroace character, when she was an antagonist previously, can possibly send a weird message.

maybe none of this really matters and i'm just nitpicking, but i really would've loved to have Willow as the aroace rep too. there doesn't have to be one way or another.

[randomtheidiot]

Advice my mother gave me.

If someone asks for sex and you don’t want to fuck them, just say “no”. Don’t give them any sort of reason or excuse. I know it’s tempting to let them down easy by saying “I have plans” or “I’m not in the mood for sex” or “I’m not emotionally available right now”, but they will break down every excuse you give. Don’t bother with the polite, well meaning excuses and just tell them no without telling them why. They shouldn’t be asking why.

[just-trying-my-best-everyday]

Are you normal about aspec people or will you try to find ways to fit them into amatonormative standards regardless?

[vulto-cor-de-rosa]

I know that Brave gets a lot of hate from people (looking at you Schaffrillas) and I get it, but you also have to understand how important Brave was to me and to so many other little girls when it came out.

I remember going to watch that movie in the cinema when I was 6 and I remember just relating so much to Merida. I didn't know why I liked her so much, why she spoke so much to me, but I remember leaving that cinema with a new favorite princess. Merida was a princess but she didn't fit the image of a princess that me and so many others had. She was "rude", boyish, tough, loud, energetic, brave, and she didn't want to get married to a prince. And the most important thing for me is that, by the end of the film, she stayed like that. That, sure, those were considered "bad attributes" by her mother and Merida did change by the end of the film, but she was still her loud, boyish self and her mom learned how to respect that.

Now, you have to understand that I was a 6 year old girl who the only adult life that had experienced was your typical heteronormative relationships. Until that point in my live the only princess that I knew was the the shy, delicate, damsel in distress who always marry the prince in the end Disney princess. I didn't know that not getting married was a choice. I didn't know that I could be loud and rude and energetic and out spoken and Still be a princess. Sure latter on I figured out that I was aromantic and definitely not cis but that is not what this is about. I was a little girl, who shared all of those characteristics with Merida, finally being represented! By a Princess, non the less!

All of this to say that Brave may not be the best movie but by god is Merida my favorite princess

[knifearo]

loveless aros i am ride or fucking die for you forever

[fantasykiri5]

Fabian and Riz to me are like. They’re like the definition of “a secret third thing” to me but not like in a qpr way. Their thing is just Their Thing, like they’re inseparable they drive each other fucking bonkers they care so deeply and they’re stupid teenagers and I don’t think they would even really think about it at all. I don’t think either of them can imagine a world where they’re not at least around the other, and like whatever their thing is definitely isn’t allo but it’s definitely not regular besties shit. They just like being around each other, I don’t think either of them would really even think to put a name to whatever it is they’ve got going on, and I definitely don’t think either of them would ever put enough thought into it to even figure out what a qpr is, much less label themselves in one. They’re just Fabian and Riz. The Ball and Captain of the Owlbears. They’re just them I think. Idk man.

[lovelessrage]

A lot of people are completely disinterested in creating a safe space for all aros and aces because that would require letting go of being allowed to publicly shame things like sex and romance. There is a stark difference between repulsion/aversion and negativity, and that line stands where you treat those things as disgusting or as a personal fault/flaw. While I'm romance repulsed, I'm never going to go on my blog and call romance disgusting or gross, because it isn't; it's a feeling, neutral in morality, and a way to live your life if you so choose.

I don't think a lot of people get this or what the difference is. Anybody can be negative and anyone can have harmful ideas, favourable or repulsed. It's about how you treat it, how you express about it, and if you seek to demonise or make those things out to be disgusting, perverse, or deviant.

Even small things or "jokes" add up over time; put yourself in the shoes of someone who has to see those "jokes" made about their lifestyle and what's important to them every day, or even every hour. Would you still feel like they're lighthearted after even one day of reading over and over again?

[Not to say anyone who's done this in the past is a horrible, terrible person. You can change and grow as you take in info; that's just the life experience. But, to grow, you need to actively want to, and that means addressing biases and asking yourself "should I say this? Could this affect my peers?"]

[cosmicpadfoot]

cannot think enough about how disrespectful are these accounts posting sexual related contents in the asexual, ace and aroace tags here

i know some of them are bots but please let's try to make it a safe space!! get the hell out of here or post under your own tags

[bananahkim]

I can’t believe aromantic/asexual people actually have to explain that no, aromanticism and/or asexuality doesn’t make them miserable, it is not abnormal, and it is valid on FUCKING TUMBLR