#she should actually KEEP doing fucked up things that people wont like and i will cheer

[criticalbeauregard]

i truly commend and admire marisha ray to no end because someone with less confidence or thinner skin (probably myself included) would've shied away from these big character choices after the way keyleth was treated but following keyleth up with beau and then LAUDNA is a true feat. she has never once backed down or diluted herself to be more palatable or even to just avoid catching the brunt of completely misplaced and blind hate from many "fans" + baffling misinterpretations of her actions. sometimes i get really upset about how some viewers talk about her choices and characters and then i just have to remember that she literally doesn't give a single fuck and neither should i.

[hazelfoureyes]

Alastor in Rut (one shot)

Rutting Alastor x Fem Rabbit Reader

Less than confident and lacking much in the way of assertiveness, you find hell to be scary. But, a very kind and helpful deer demon has a solution! Just in time, as an unexpected rut hits him and he feels the need to reel you in.

this is pure self indulgence. Shout out to @jazzmasternot , @lustylita , @sugoi-writes , and @minkdelovely for keeping me sane and horny (with art lol)

「Warnings/Promises: actual warning - mentions of accidental vehicular homicide and reader's death, Marathon Smut, p in v, finger almost in a?, anal is considered, knotting because fuck it, attempt at breeding, womb flooded, not dubcon but everyone in the hotel thinks it is, slightly repetitive fucking because he wont waste semen on other holes, Alastor would fuck anyone but you’re the most amusing, Alastor doesn’t think he’s the good guy which is honestly kinda cute, deadass talk about making you carry his fawns?? Why is it so hot?? Knock me up deer man bleat bleat bitch, implied previous relationship with a human man, plans to cuckold your ex, heat, blue fire isn’t hot, you’re tricked into a deal with Alastor, kinda size kink, demon Alastor, minor aftercare, a little sexual choking (as a treat)」

Hey--- we're all here for something. This is 10000 words, 5300 or so is smut. Smut starts at the bright green divider for you impatient and horny deeries.

MINORS YOU KNOW THE DRILL DNI

The line for reception was long, but that was to be expected. After the extermination ended early and Adam killed on television by a maid, the Hazbin Hotel had been busy. Or so you overheard others saying. You’d only been in hell a day, lucky enough to catch the advertisements and hear the gossip for the hotel soon after your descent.

You recognized the princess immediately, but not that tall man beside her. He wasn’t doing anything, just staring and smiling. Was he friendly? Were there friendly people in hell? Truly friendly. Not high school girl friendly. Or hungry witch friendly. He had witch vibes.

“Hiya welcome to the”, she took a deep breath in, “Hazbin Hotel! I am Charlie! This is Alastor! What did you do to bring you to hell? Gotta know so we can cater your redemption activities to your sins!”

She was staring at you so happily, pen over paper. Your eyes nervously shot to the man, who leaned down in response.

“I fell asleep driving and killed someone, and myself.”

Everything about Charlie was frozen still except the sudden glossiness forming over her eyes. “You… you… were you like, a thief or… did you…… push old ladies into traffic?”

You shook your head no.

“Gluttonous? She asked.

“No, I wasn’t a fan of overindulgence.”

“Prideful, then?” 

“Unfortunately… I don’t think too highly of myself. Living or dead.” Your hand came to your down turned rabbit ears, sad and limp. Even in death you weren’t the right kind of anything.

“Uhh,” Charlie clicked her pen furiously again and again, “Lustful?”

“Just the one partner. My highschool sweetheart.”

A sweat was forming on Charlie’s brow, “Sloth?”

“I did fall asleep behind the wheel… but it was from working 25 hours of overtime this week.”

Charlie put the pen down, “I don’t think you belong in hell. You made an accident. That’s not how sins should work…”

Your eyes bore holes into the desk, avoiding eye contact, “I don’t think heaven cares much about that.”

“Poor thing. Let’s circle back, Charlie.” Alastor’s large hand rested on your head, patting twice. 

She nodded, “Good call. I’ll just,” her tongue stuck out as she began to write, “make a new category just for you! Other.”

Yeah that made sense, you thought. That was fitting. This truly was hell. Finally you stood out, as the one who didn’t fit in. You supposed that’s what a wallflower deserved for murder. 

“Follow me little one.”  The tall Alastor instructed you as he snatched a key from the hook and walked past you.

Happily. Small tail uncontrollably swishing as you followed a foot behind him.

A hum of approval, Alastor noticing the distance you kept.

“You obey instructions well.”

You always did. “Thank you.” Tiny and soft, your response made his shadow shift and smile.

It wasn’t a compliment, but the fact you took it as one interested him. Subservient. 

Fun. 

“I take it that you really were a good girl in life, weren’t you?” He swiveled on his heels to face you, the sudden change causing your face to run into his lower chest.

A song of apologies fell from your mouth as you backed up, tripping over your own pathetic attempts at platitude and falling back onto your ass.

He was tall before but now he towered over your, hand outstretched to help you up. You offered a thank you before taking it.

Clawed fingers tightened around your palm. Not letting you pull away. “You’re new to hell, right?”

A glance around, no one else in the hallway, “Is it obvious?”

“Yes. But also, you mentioned work this week.”

A nod, “It’s been maybe a day.”

Delicious.

“Could I offer you some advice?” He leaned down, hand tightening further. Wide eyed and a little frightened with the change in atmosphere, you just nodded again. “It’s very dangerous out there for little prey animals like yourself.”

“Aren’t you also a prey animal?”

His hand uncurled.

A moment of tension, Alastor leaning down further.

A strange sound was coming from his microphone, the best approximation you had was a car radio going haywire skipping through the channels.

“Room 243!” His body popped up and he held the key out for you. The hallway lights seemed to be glowing brighter now.

You grabbed the key, “Thank you!”

Two fourty three was just past him. A small tremble kept you from getting the key in on your first and even second try. 

You didn’t even stop to turn on the light, just pushing the door closed behind you as soon as your body was through the threshold.

The relief barely left with a sigh when you heard it, “You know…”

Frozen, your eyes adjusted to the darkness enough to see the shining of his red and pink eyes in front of you.

“I’m somewhat of a deal maker. For a small price, I could help you. Perhaps, you’d like a change of appearance?” His voice seemed to be coming from the walls, above and beside you all at once.

Something lifted a floppy ear. But his eyes were too far from you for it to have been his own hands. A small scream as you smacked at the appendage.

“What do you say? I can use a little magic to make you happier with your new form.” A dark whisper into your right ear. 

Your hands flew to your head before you dropped to your knees to escape the hidden things touching you. 

“What do you want?” To your left now. “Let’s make a trade. A deal.” Above your head. 

His eyes were gone. Just darkness and a soft laugh echoing around you.

Your mind was reeling through possible answers, what did you want? At that moment? In general? 

An answer tumbled out, too quietly.

“Hmm?” His eyes reappeared closer to you and glowing a bloody red. “Speak up, my ears are quite a bit higher than your mouth.”

A second attempt, “Safety. I wanna be safe.” The laughter got louder, mocking you without words.

“A little tougher of an ask.” The sound of something slithering near your feet made you pull your knees tighter to your chest. “But! I’m here to please. In exchange for protection from the more nefarious of hell’s citizens I’ll need something worth my while.”

Of course, that is how deals work, right? A promise with compensation. 

“I don’t have any money, or possessions yet. Maybe I should try again later?” You were lost in the light of his stare and found the darkness deepening around him.

A considered hum, “Well, you’re already dead. You’ve no need for your soul. Damned as it is, give it to me instead. To keep safe. And I’ll always answer your calls for rescue when in harm's way.”

Why would…what use was a soul, you wondered. Was he right? But if he wanted it, surely it had value. You were too new to this world, scared to say yes and part with what little you had. 

At the risk of angering the demon in the darkness of your room, you whispered to yourself and hoped he would hear it, “I think I shouldn’t.”

Hissing in your ear, “Disappointing.”

The lights flickered on, an empty room. A bed. A nightstand. A closet. A bathroom. No tall smiling dealmaker.

A tremor stayed in your hands through the night. 

To your surprise, when you ran into Alastor the next day he was more than kind. He was eavesdropping when you asked Charlie if the hotel needed any staff. Not only did you want to be of use, you were hoping to earn some money. He quickly slid beside Charlie suggesting things you could do. 

Wow, you thought. He didn’t hold a grudge at all. Maybe he had been trying to help before? 

It took a few weeks, but you found a groove. You were a floater between the staff, helping Husk with the restocking of his bar, following behind Niffty with supplies her tiny arms couldn’t carry, and keeping notes for the activities Charlie held. It was vital for you to feel needed and everyone seemed happy to have you around. Hell wasn’t so bad.

“Dear,” Alastor found you holding a basket of towels in the hallway on a rather standard weekday, “I need an errand runner. Do you mind?”

You had been finding Alastor’s presence enjoyable, a little secret you held. He was always smiling, which made you smile in turn. And his manners, well, perfect. You couldn’t understand why such a sweet man was in hell, but then you considered you were also in hell. Mistakes happen, perhaps he was also damned by technicalities. 

Not that you would ask him, you barely spoke a word to the deer demon. Every time he was around you your throat would close up. Oftentimes you would pull your hands behind your back to shield the wiggle of your too-honest tail. 

When he would speak to you, you would get so focused on the sound of his voice and watching his mouth move you’d actually not hear a damn thing he said. You must have looked like an absolute airhead, always replying, “What?” every time he finished a statement. 

“Hellooo, anyone home in there?” He knocked gently on your skull. Ah, those big hands again. He watched the pink bloom across your cheeks, your hands coming to your ears to pull them down as your mind wandered off.  A snap of his fingers finally brought you back.

“Sorry, what?” Your eyes were bright as you finally made the journey all the way up to his face.

“Welcome back. I need some stuff picked up from a shop downtown. I can’t leave right now, mind hopping over for me?” The grin he offered you made you melt.

“Of course!” That damn tail shaking behind you, “What am I picking up?”

He waved his hand, “Not important, it’ll be all wrapped up and waiting.” The radio effect of his voice grew, “I’ll write down the address.”

Terrible handwriting. You could barely read it, but didn’t want to insult him so you just nodded as he followed you to the doors. Pausing, you realized it was your first time leaving the hotel alone. 

“What’s wrong? Not up to it?”

You shook your head, “No! I can do it. Thank you.”

A pounding in your chest made you question if you were actually dead. But despite your concerns, no one bothered you beyond some catcalling and intense glares. Staring at the paper, you struggled to decipher the address. Was that a 7 or a 1? A 4 or a 9…? You were in the general area, the street name lined up and the first couple numbers of the address too.

You brought the paper closer to your face, maybe if you really inspected it you could figure it out. 

A shriek, dropping the paper to felt a small goblin-like creature pushing at your knees. Another, then another, began to appear from the shadows of the street. Black and white little creatures pushing and pulling at your legs until you tumbled over.

“Help!” You thought it was a shout, but it came out as a soft spoken request, the tone itself adding a ‘please’ to the end. 

They weren’t hurting you, just knocking you over every time you tried to stand up like grade school bullies. You managed, the creatures relenting momentarily before a stockier one materialized. A step back, what did they want? Money? You pulled out your wallet and opened it but the large one smacked it to the ground. 

That quick heart skipped a beat when your back hit against something solid. As your head bent backwards, you could see those red and pink eyes looming over you. 

“Oh dear. Trouble already?” 

You could cry. You did cry, a little, at the sight of a familiar face. With a flourish of his hands, those previously unseen tendrils whipped from his back and flung the aimless attackers away. 

Rescue! You hugged his waist, a chorus of ‘thank yous’ and ‘Oh, Alastor!’ into his chest. 

“Now now, can’t even be a proper task rabbit. You really do need some safeguarding.” He peeled you off him, brushing his coat off. Your mind thought back to the offer. “And I don’t see my purchase… didn’t complete the task either?”

You shrunk, you’d entirely failed him. His smirk was one sided, eyes half lidded and expression dramatically disappointed. Alastor sighed and turned to walk away from you. You’d let him down. He’d been nothing but accommodating and gentle.

“I’m sorry! Alastor!” You grabbed his wrist, eyes shut so you didn’t see the green glow of arcane symbols floating up around him. “Can I please have that deal? Please. I’m sorry, you have my soul as payment.”

Painless, selling your soul. With a handshake, a little light show, and a whirling of magic, you had done it.

“Excellent choice!” Alastor patted your head, “I’ll come to your aid when you’re scared for your life! Aaaand in return, your soul is mine. Easy peasy, yes?”

Fine, not an issue in the slightest. “Do I need to do anything?”

“About what?” His eyes wandered to inspect his fingernails.

“My soul.”

A barking laugh, “No. You’re tied to me now, dear. As for my end, just call my name when you’re in danger and I’ll,” a flourish of his talons, “rescue you.” His smile strained as he peered down at your little face, “Why are you crying?”

“I’m so happy to have the help, thank you Alastor! You really are just, amazing. Your mother raised you right.” Your hands were holding your cheeks, grateful and feeling a little less alone.

The mention of his mother made his back straighten, a bloom in his chest he knew all too well to be pride. Finally, someone was vocalizing his better qualities. Well, other than Charlie. But impressing Charlie was like making a dog think you’d thrown a ball. Just a little quick whirl of your hands and a couple sweet words with a smile and she’d be all wagging tail as she ran to retrieve nothing. 

But he supposed you were very much like Charlie, easily tricked and distracted. Had you really not noticed those goons were his? Or that the address wasn’t real? Were you stupid or naive? His head fell to the side unnaturally as he watched you talk. He wasn’t listening, though. He took in your features, slight but average. His hand came out absentmindedly and felt at one of your long and limp ears. He didn’t see you blush or caught how you stiffened. 

Naive. Terribly naive.

Perfectly usable. 

He dropped your ear and turned to leave. “I won’t rescue you twice in one day. Best to follow me home if you value your life.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You hadn’t told anyone about the deal, a secret for yourself to keep. Partly because you were embarrassed you needed the help, and partly because you had been warned extensively to not make a deal with the deer demon. Everyone had such a peculiar idea of Alastor, it seemed to you. Even after making a deal, he was still…Alastor. Always offering a joke, or playing something jaunty in the shared spaces. You could vent and whine and Alastor would hum as he read. Always offering a gentle pat to the head when you were sad or did something he liked. 

So when Alastor suddenly left the group in a sweat, hands shaking and body rocking slightly side to side, you were quick to follow behind him. He bumped off the walls a couple of times before making it to his room and falling forward past the threshold. 

You waited for the door to close before running down the hall and knocking. 

“Are you alright?” You pressed your cheek against the wood and listened for any reply. 

Alastor was still on the floor when you knocked, which worked out well. He leaned against the door, ears flat with his condition. He took a deep breath, voice dropping an octave and carrying easily to you, “Just— an out of season rut. Unexpected and unwelcome. Without any does nearby it’s quite odd.”

“Oh, are deer not like rabbits? Rabbit does are always in estrus! Mating actually triggers their ovulation. Neat, huh?” Silence, Alastor’s ears turned forward focusing on every other word.

Does, always, oestrus

Mating, triggers, ovulation 

“I had pet rabbits when I was little. Isn’t that funny though? That they’re also called does.” You worried he thought you were weirdly interested in rabbit sex. “We had them as pets. So….,” a silence you misinterpreted as awkward.

Alastor tapped a long claw on the door before dragging it down the wood. A line was etched behind, “Is that so?”

You knelt down to get comfortable, “How long will it last?”

“Ah, hard to say. I've only suffered through a few. Alone, perhaps a week.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“With an appropriate partner, a deer demon would rut for two days. One for mating with his doe, one for guarding his doe from rivals who could still interfere with conception.”

His doe. You both found your throat running dry at the words. 

You nodded, “Oh wow, I guess that’s why you always see bucks locked together in fights.”

“Precisely.”

“But...can sinners actually conceive?” You gulped, the idea was a little naughty to you. The entire conversation was actually making you uncomfortable. The kind of discomfort that made your breath pick up. The kind of discomfort that shifted to hunger with just a few words or a well placed look.

“No, but that doesn’t matter. Once fully in the hold of a rut or heat, demons aren’t motivated by logic.”

You nodded again, forgetting he couldn’t see you. “Oh okay…” the idea of Alastor rutting into his own hand desperate to fill a womb made your knees come together. “Must be hard for you. As an asexual.”

A hum, confusion breaking his creeping fog for a second, “A sexual what?”

“Nevermind.” You shook your head, shaking off the topic with the motion.

Alastor could smell your arousal wafting under the door. A feverish chill ran through him, drawing the fog back into the recesses of his mind.

“Well… I’ll let you rest. I know you can’t call me, so I’ll stop by to see if you need anything.”

His mouth opened to correct you— he could call you in a sense, and he didn’t need help as he had minions he could summon with a snap. 

“That sounds lovely, what a helpful thing you are.” The words came out strained, his jaw tensing. How much longer could he hold out? The thinnest lie held in place that he’d suffer alone through the week. Already compromised by his errant shadow, flat against the carpet beneath your thighs. 

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Within hours Alastor was lying on the floor with his limbs splayed out. The sweating was the worst, not the heat. He could feel ticklish drops dripping down his stomach. His hair was sticking to his face, adding to the mounting overstimulation. Wet, hot, clothes clinging to his body like a second skin. A clawed hand pulled off his bow tie. His fingers shook too much to handle the tiny buttons of his shirt so he gave up and ripped it open. 

It fell into a pile with the bow tie and soon his pants and socks joined. Sitting up on his elbows he looked down at his underwear, he wasn’t hard yet but he knew the smallest touch could trigger what could be days of painfully swollen erections.

He fell back to the floor with a huff, hands raking through his hair and gripping his ears a little rougher than he’d meant to. A gasp, red tipped talons feeling down his ears and slipping around his already growing antlers.

Alastor’s eyes rolled back, strong hands squeezing his prongs, tugging them forward as he imagined anyone riding him. Using his appendages as a handle while he bucked up into them. His hips were already moving, lower back rising off the carpet as he rolled his body up into the imaginary mate he despised his desperation for. His mind flicked through faces. Husk’s pained but satisfied expression, Vox’s tears as he whined, Carmilla’s lusty eyes paired with surrendered sighs. He lingered briefly on Angel’s smirk as his hands roamed down his chest and his thighs in tandem. 

But through the darkness of his imagination he saw two watery and timid orbs, tears welling as eyebrows rose in confusion. Pleasure making the features soften. Soft. Soft velvet ears he could tug on in turn, a little bushy tail he could grip. 

A doe. 

The only doe he knew of in the hotel. 

The radio on the writing desk flipped through channels, piecing together the sounds to form the words he was trying to forget, a magazine ransom note cut from sound bites.

....out the windows

 ....always and forever, 

....in yesterday. 

....rusty cage 

May you never....

Hating how I....

....pull the trigger

....say you love me?

....congratulations 

The relevant sounds spiked in volume, mocking him. 

He walked to the radio and hurled it across the room. Aggression. Already he was losing himself to hellish biology. 

A minor part of him didn’t want to use you. You always looked at him with such adoration, which he’d come to look forward to when others weren’t giving him adequate attention. You also seemed to genuinely see him as a friend, as much as he didn’t directly feed that idea.

But using people was how the world worked. Everyone was using someone. You had said how much you wanted to help… Alastor leaned on the desk with both hands and watched the sweat fall onto the wood and leather writing surface.

How was his body leaking from every pore but his mouth was so dry?

His shadow reached for the thrown radio, the light flickering on. That dark doppelgänger using a song to offer another piece of torment for him, ‘you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.’

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You had been speaking to Husk about what you could do to help prepare the bar for the weekend when a green light began to form around your neck. 

“Did you— Did you make a deal with him?!” Husk dropped the dish rag, hands shooting to your shoulders, “Hold on! I’ll— fucking hell. Fuck!”

“Wait what’s wro-,” you were standing inside an unfamiliar room, just at the door, before you could figure out why Husk was panicking. Looking up, you locked eyes with Alastor. The room was dark, curtains drawn shut and ceiling lights off. A slight glow from a roaring blue fire to your left. His eyes were those familiar glowing red orbs in the darkness of his large canopy bed. “Oh, Alastor.” You finally noticed the third light source. A neon green large linked chain was wrapped around his fist. Following the squared interlocking pieces down the length of the bed, across the carpet and up as you looked down to find it ending on you.

Your hands touched your neck, feeling the cold metal of your collar. 

Alastor took a deep breath in, a shaky exhale following.

Oh. You’d heard from Angel how his deal with his boss often materialized as a series of smoke rings linked and attached to him. 

Before you could question it any further you were sliding across the floor, hands and feet struggling to find purchase as he reeled you toward the bed. Alastor lifted you by the glowing chain around your neck, evidence of the deal you so easily accepted.

“Can a deer breed a rabbit?” He mused, breath ragged as he struggled to remain in control of his impulses, “Doubtful. But I’ll give it my sincerest efforts, regardless.”

“Alastor-! You don’t want to do this, it’s just your rut.” You pulled back, legs kicking and piling up the blankets. It was fruitless. 

He laughed, incorporeal radio studio audience joining along. You couldn’t stop from glancing at the straining fabric of his black boxers. Setting a small hand on his chest to better attempt to push away you gasped, “You’re burning up!” The fear of the moment left you entirely, replaced with deep concern. 

He gripped your wrist with his free hand, not letting go of the chain in his right, “The fever is unbearable. My mind is slipping away.”

“Is this normal?!” Your hands came to his cheeks, his forehead, his neck. You remembered how your grandmother always checked your temperature, and pressed your lips to his sweat slicked brow. “You poor thing…”

When you pulled back you were met with the bright and blown out pupils of Alastor’s gaze. He was staring at your mouth, the green of his magical connection to you reflecting off his glossy eyes.

“Poor me.” He’d been sitting with loosely crossed legs but got on his knees. His face rose until he was looking down at you, hand now holding your chin, “You promised to help me.”

Your eyes were looking everywhere but his face. 

His hand on you tightened, cheeks squished together as he pulled your head up, “Are you a liar?” Of course not. His hand made your head shake left to right.

The trembling of your hands was obvious to you both. A cruel laugh, “Do I scare you, little bunny rabbit?”

In life you weren’t popular. No one hated you, but, well, you never had much luck attracting the men all the women seemed to want. No one of power or consequence ever paid you any mind.

Alastor was scary. But were you scared? Someone strong wanted you. Someone people feared was saying you were good enough for them.

Tears welled in your eyes as you felt your tail wiggling side to side. Your body always betrayed you. Your own death had been the doing of your body’s inability to listen to you. 

He couldn’t see the tail but the way your face screwed up in shame tipped him off. Letting go of your face, super heated finger pads slipped down your back. He slotted your tail between two fingers. There was no reason for it to be such an intimate action, but your entire body trembled.

Another deep sigh from Alastor, closing his fingers around the base and pulling gently. A test. Your head dropped to hide your reaction.

“Ah ah, eyes on me.”

He hummed happily as you did as you were told.

But the moment was cut short, you jumping when a rough knock came to the door.

“Alastor!” Vaggie was turning the knob despite knowing it was locked, “Is she in there? Open the fucking door.” A kick, a threat, “Now.”

“I’ll need your answer.” He leaned back onto the pillows piled behind him. Making a point, he lifted your chain and dropped it. It dissolved into nothingness before it could hit the bed.

“I’m here!” You said barely loud enough to be heard through the wooden door. Your eyes were drawn to Alastor’s lap as he pushed down his underwear to free his deep red cock.

His hand tenderly touched his base, hissing with the contact.

“For fuck’s sake Alastor!” Vaggie yelled, “You have three seconds to open this fucking door before I rip it off the hinges.”

Alastor’s head fell back with a moan, stifled as he bit down on his lip. 

“One!”

As his fingers slid up his length and touched his leaking slit his entire body violently shook.

“Two!”

He opened his eyes just barely. You hadn’t noticed the antlers on his head were quite a few times larger than normal. 

“I’m okay!” You shouted, the loudest noise you’d made since your death, but not the loudest you’d make by the end of the day.

Silence.

Mumbling.

 Vaggie spoke up again, “Are you sure? Come out and talk to us first.”

His hand began stroking himself, precum spilling down. Something soft and fuzzy was settling over the front of your brain.

You scooted backwards off the bed, eyes staying on his lap. The light color of his inner thighs. The little bit of red and black tail you could see squished down under his ass.

“Hello!” You opened the door just enough to shove your head through. “Hi there gang.���

Husk’s arms were crossed and his foot tapping, “Are you really okay? No matter the deal he can’t fucking make you stay in there with him.”

While you weren’t sure that was actually true, it wasn’t an issue, “I wanna stay! He needs someone to watch his fever and-,”

A brief rush of cool air up your shirt before a hot mouth was pressing into the small of your back.

Vaggie’s eyes narrows, “and?”

“And! And. Yes.” Your eyes shut, “and take care of cleaning up after him.”

They shared a glance, “He can just make his little creatures do it.”

A surprisingly long tongue ran up your spine.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Oh my god! No! I couldn’t let my friend,” you sucked your bottom lip in as his hands wrapped around your waist and undid the button of your pants, “rely on strangers.”

Husk sighed, “Alright, just… like, call us or something? If you need anything.”

You began to nod but the door was shut and locked by Alastor before you could reply.

₊✧˚﹕︶︶︶﹕૮₍ ⸝⸝´ ꒳ `⸝⸝ ₎ა﹕︶︶︶﹕ ˚✧₊

Your face hit the wall as you lost balance when he pulled down your pants and panties with one yank and buried his face into your crotch. His tongue licked at the wetness pooled at your entrance.

Any moans would probably still have been heard by the other two so you tried to keep quiet. Alastor didn’t seem to care though, growling into your skin.

The fever seemed it would spread skin to skin, but when he pulled away you found your body quickly cooling. Taking a moment to breath before turning back, you wondered if you’d made a great decision or a terrible one. When you turned, Alastor was settling back into his previous spot. “I could rip the rest off of you or you could undress yourself.” He wasn’t looking at you as he said it. You made quick work of removing your shirt and returning to the bed as you had before.

"Turn around."

You turned to face the door.

"On your hands and knees."

You paused briefly, but did so.

As you bent over, little tail high and trembling, Alastor’s clawed thumbs spread open your bottom lips. Perhaps it was embarrassment or just the nerves but you were twitching open and close.

You heard a low “Fuck” before the feeling of heat dripping onto you made you jerk forward. One of his hands came to your shoulder to hold you in place, the other kept your hole open as his seed continued to dribble down onto it.

He hadn’t been trying to cum, but his body was already responding to the opportunity before it; a breedable and submissive doe.  His cock trigger-happy at the sight of your pussy, inside pink and clenching.

A tiny yelp as he fell over you, joining you in an all fours position but larger body caging yours between his limbs. He laughed again when the back of your head hit him square in the chest. 

“You are uselessly small.” His body rumbled over you. “Clever girl to make a deal for protection.” 

A burning stiffness slid down your folds. You could feel from even how little contact he made he was too big. Was it a bad time to tell him you’d only had the one partner on earth? A rather boring but sufficient sex life. If Alastor was hoping for a sex kitten he’d be deeply disappointed in you.

He hummed imagining dropping his weight and feeling you fruitlessly squirm under him. 

“Mating triggers ovulation, I recall you said. I just need to fuck you into it, right sweetheart? Maybe if I do a good enough job,” his hands gripped the flesh of your ass, “your body will actually respond. Your belly will swell with the evidence of my virility.” Both hands slipped down your hips and came to nestle above your womb, tenderly caressing the protective layer of fat there, “could your little form handle it?” Little form? Not quite. But to him everyone was little. Claws leaving faint red marks as he dragged them up your ribs, around your sides and pressed your back down to get your chest into the bed and ass in the air.

A squeak, your legs flailing with what little motion they had as you turned your head, “Well that’s for actual rabbits not--.”

His hand came over your mouth, “Shhh, there's safety in the quiet. Don’t you know? We’re most vulnerable when we mate.” On the utterance of the word you’d been avoiding to even think about Alastor’s still hard cock squeezed its way into you. Your body was willing, but your pussy wasn’t ready to accommodate him. Not that your living partner had been small, but he wasn’t a seven foot tall rutting deer demon. And with height came a girth and length you’d not anticipated. You had seen it, yes, but that didn’t translate to much once Alastor was entering you.

His hips were snapping back as soon as he sank in. It frustrated him endlessly that he wasn’t trying to fuck you with such a lack of control. He couldn’t have been sure he’d have done it any differently had the circumstances been changed, but he liked to think he’d  retained some skills over the long years alone.

The way he whined made him sound like a weak man, which he was in that moment. You wanted to call out his name, do the things you were used to doing during sex, but his hand was still over your mouth.

As if he heard your thoughts, his fingers spread open over your lips. Pinky under your chin to keep his hold on you. 

“Alastor,” the tenor of your voice surprised you.

“Stick out your tongue.” He sounded far away, despite being right behind you. When you did as he instructed his hand shifted. Two long fingers went into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue. Immediately his fingers and your chin was dripping with drool. He whined again, louder, the noise growing into a growl as his speed began to pick up. 

You could feel the thin flesh at the bottom of your entrance stinging as it was failing to stretch enough for him. It would have bothered you more but the way his burningly hot cock's head was pressing into your cervix was making your eyes lose focus. 

Without ceremony, you felt a rush of heat deep in you. Your shins lifted from the bed as you squirmed, weak attempts to escape the deep press.

His hand left your mouth and you felt it working on the base of his cock that was not yet in you. He mumbled something, it sounded like an apology, before you felt him pop the rest of himself in. You choked on your scream, not knowing what he had put in you. 

It throbbed, new and stronger spurts of his seed felt against an indescribable place. 

A brave hand reached between your thighs and felt at the space between your bodies—- well, would have felt at that space. But there was none. You were flush against his lap. Your fingers slid down to feel taut balls pulled up into his body. 

He shivered as you traced between them, checking neither were …  inside you. 

“I should have warned you, but my ability to speak wasn’t—,” he waved his hand around, “available.” You tried to pull away but found you both were locked together. “A knot. Not an accurate representation of a deer… and technically useless.”

That word meant nothing to you. “Is it normal?”

His thumb pressed at the virgin tight ring of muscle just above your pussy, you instinctively jerked away but just made yourself gasp as that large knot in you threatened to further tear you if you kept it up. “I don’t normally do it so early in a mated rut.”

You surrendered, trying to relax your upper body into the bed. “How do we get it out?”

A mocking chuckle, “It’ll deflate, so to speak, in a couple minutes. It’s just keeping my little doe in place while I finish filling her up.” He patted your ass. 

It was mortifying to be suck in that position.

“Have you ever used this hole?” He rubbed some of your wetness up to your asshole. 

 Your tail lifted, “My boyfriend didn’t like anal.”

Alastor massaged around the puckered ring, “I didn’t ask if he used his.” Your head turned to look at him, shaking it ‘no’. You noticed his face looked less strained now, and that his finger didn’t feel like a fire was just under his skin. “Ah, well. I won’t need it today anyway.”

He didn’t see the bright blush that came over your face. He spoke so easily about the topic, a topic you’d never heard him speak on before. One you’d been told he had no interest in.

An error you made, assuming a lack of interest meant a lack of knowledge or experience. 

When he finally could pull himself out of you, you felt a rush of warmth down your inner thighs. Looking under you, past your chest and between your legs, you saw the thick white semen escaping from your stretched entrance. 

You’d never seen such an opaque release before. You wondered if it was a hint at his…potency. You wondered more what was happening in your body at that moment. 

“Will it come out on its own or do I need to clean it?” Finally sitting up, your fingers felt the mess still dripping out of you. 

Alastor leaned back onto his legs, ears turning in your direction as you asked, “Is this your first time? Your little boyfriend never finished in you?”

Crossing your arms, you turned to him, “Don’t be patronizing to him. And no, okay?”

He felt the heat rising from his gut again, cock twitching at every bit of the scene before him. Insolent body language, an attempt to scold him, and an admission. You watched him sit back up, a sudden reminder how much taller he was as darkened eyes looked down on you. The blue of the fire cast half of his face in shadows. “What’s this? My obedient doe wants to defend another man in my bed?” 

Your hands nervously came to the ends of your ears, “I didn’t mean it like that.” A finger twirled, telling you to turn around. You hesitated. Did he want you to leave? He didn’t want to look at you? You hadn’t—, “I’m sorry.” 

With a blink, his eyes were black.  His fingers longer as parts of him seems to stretch between the joints. He twirled them again as his smile grew wicked.

Desperate to show him you hadn’t wanted to upset him, that you wanted to stay, you turned around. The fear of not knowing what he would do next was sending waves of electricity to your lap. You realized you hadn’t touched yourself yet, not that this was the time to start. 

One by one, those freakishly long fingers curled around the small of your waist and lifted you off the bed. The tops of your feet were sliding across the dark maroon blankets beneath you both.

Your heart was pounding in your ears as he pulled you against him. He positioned you above his renewed erection, your legs opening a little in instinct. 

Grateful now to be turned around, you let your face run the full range of feelings as they washed over you. Fear, arousal, anticipation.

“What a wasteful man.” He brought you down with a painfully slow speed, head just now meeting your sticky wet hole. “He never flooded your soft cunt?” He pressed in a little easier this time, but as you sank to take him all in you felt a sting where you’d slightly torn earlier. “When he dies, I’ll be sure to find him.” Cruel. “And make him watch me breed you.” You clenched, yet another betrayal by your body. 

You were reduced to gasps as he stayed stock still and moved you on and off his cock. “Am I bigger than he is?” You could feel his breath against your back as you were lifted and brought back down again slowly. 

You nodded. A terrible liar, you didn’t even try to fib.

He stopped with his head barely in you.

A squirm.

“I’m sure I just didn’t hear you. Try again.”

“Yes.” You were full again as he got his answer. A creaking sound you didn’t recognize startled you.

“Do I fuck you better than him?”

Ah you understood. Your hands held at his fingers digging into your body. “Yes.” Another creaking sound as he quickened your rise and fall.

Alastor’s antlers were wide and multi-pronged as your affirmations jostled around behind his eyes. Your ‘yes’ somehow made you tighter, wetter, hotter around him. His hips started moving again to meet yours. Perhaps he his dick grown a little during his shift to a more demonic form, or maybe you enjoyed the line of questions. All he knew was you were squeezing him like your body didn’t want him to ever pull out again.

Blood dripped from his lips as he cut his own skin, through gritted teeth a final question, “Do you want my fawns?”

Your legs pressed together, you knew there was only one answer and yet you asked yourself. Did you want that? To carry his children? A moan cut through your thinking, “Yes!”

The fire roared, a response to his own reaction.

Alastor felt his mind slip under again, noticing the wild way his shadow was dancing around the walls before his senses all dulled except touch.

The bed drifted away from under his knees and the walls melted like spent candles. Just sounds echoing off space as your moans deepened. As if learning, you began to whisper ‘yes’ to yourself as you felt a building pressure in your stomach. 

Every thrust into you further separated your brain from your body. Your eyes lost focus as you watched the door bounce. No, wait, you were bouncing, right? Bouncing up and down the stiff rail of Alastor’s arousal. Your head fell forward, gasping as you felt him harden further while buried deep in you. He was going to cum again, you could feel it, you would feel it. The thought made your body shake as a pressure grew steadily in you. 

Not a new sensation, but a different one. 

“Louder,” another thinly veiled demand from Alastor that seemed to come from somewhere else entirely. Your eyes noticed a small light on the floor near the wall. A radio, buzzing with the same crackle as his voice.

“Yes,” you ground out, his hands were slippery with sweat as his nails dug in to ensure he didn’t lose his grip on you. “Yes, yes, yes.” He brought you down entirely and only let you off a little, an unspoken fear he would release too close to your entrance and he’d lose precious seed he needed your body to receive. “Yes! Alastor!” You weren’t sure who was talking now, as it surely couldn’t be you. You’d never —

“You’re better than him. You’re bigger and stronger and and he never —- he could never…”

He was suddenly regretting the position, unable to watch you fall apart as he so lovingly spread you open. 

With a shriek, your back crashed into his chest as Alastor fell backward into his pillows. He didn’t miss a beat. He continued fucking up into you but let one hand reach your clit. When you whined, he breathed into your hair, “I need you to orgasm.” Other hand pressing down on your womb, “Many cultures believed a woman couldn’t get pregnant without finding her release first. Surely it’ll take. Cum for me my doe.”

You shook your head, “Alastor that isn’t possible.” Not that you were arguing against the way his finger was rubbing up and down on your swollen clit, you just felt the need to remind him of the obvious. Your eyes wandered up and back to see the hauntingly wide antlers now. His transformed face barely visible in the shadows.

“I thought you were a good girl.” His mouth kissed at the base of your ears, hand over your womb pressing in and exaggerating the feeling of his cock bulging from under your skin. “Darling,” he groaned, “Are you ready for my knot?”

You moaned at the words. No, of course not. 

“Yes,” you got quiet, embarrassed again. Your hand snaked up and behind to hold his shoulder for stability. 

“Relax,” he hissed, feeling your body tensing in anticipation.

You tried your best, but between his strumming finger and the sting still at your entrance you struggled to let things go limp.

This time you felt it growing beneath you. Alastor was ready as well, pushing it in before it was swollen so large he’d have to force it or just suffer with it outside.

Lubricated with the multiple loads already fucked into and then out of you, the knot pushed past your entrance with ease. But then you felt it expanding in you. Eyes crossing as they rolled back with the foreign sensation. It didn’t hurt, but a little alarm was going off in the back of your brain. How could something natural feel so unnatural? And how—

Your body locked up, muscles from thighs to neck tight. Alastor’s finger hadn’t stopped, and as the second knotted release flooded you with his feverish need, as his knot trapped every drop and forced it up past your cervix you tripped into your first orgasm. Different from your own hand and toys, the build up hadn’t been a slow ratcheting climb. No, you were rolling through waves of nearly pained pleasure. The spasming forced your body to feel him even more, pulling him deeper, triggering another wave to crash into you.

Alastor wanted to praise you, a rush of hormones and ego expanding his chest but the sensations had him so overwhelmed he was manually breathing. His hand didn’t want to stop, because then the way your pussy was positively sucking him in would also end. But your little cries and moans got increasingly choked and strained.

The calm briefly offered by knotting a mate during his rut came to your rescue, Alastor dragging a still barely moving finger up your body and going slack into the pillows.

Deep breaths, both of you fighting to slow them down. Alastor was experiencing another moment of clarity, only slightly upset he had doled out so much tenderness.

But for you, there was no deep fog of a heat to numb the sensations and let the more bothersome bits of consciousness turn off. Your mind was just as clear as normal. A little lusty, but nowhere near Alastor’s altered state. As you laid against his chest, waiting for him to be able to pull out, you could feel the pains and aches setting in.

Alastor summoned a minion, food set down on his desk under a silver cloche. Your eyes caught the black and white creature before it was whisked away.

Sitting up, you flinched but fought against the pain, “Alastor. What was that?”

His hands pulled you back down by the shoulders, skin on skin, “My minion. One of many.” 

 Exhausted, you could only sigh, “So, the errand.”

His hands went up defensively, “Oh come now, did you really think I was the good guy?” You didn’t reply. The silence began to bother him. Odd, given he usually didn’t give a fuck.

But he’d asked a lot of you, and you agreed willingly. You did as you were told. A little twinge of concern he had actually upset you wiggled between his ribs.

His hands slipped down your waist and settled over your stomach, “…Are you hungry? If you stay like this, I can help you eat.” You took a deep breath in, but didn’t even move to look at him. He squirmed ever so slightly, “I can only assume you’re… quite sore. Perhaps a bath? But I can’t guarantee we’ll make it out much cleaner than we are now.” His smile was smaller, just lips; no teeth. As his antlers withdrew and his limbs all returned to their proper places he could turn his head enough to look at your face.

Alastor felt relief wash over him to see you deeply asleep in his arms. It wasn’t a bad idea, to sleep before the next spell hit him and he was too far gone to think about baths or meals.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Alastor awoke in the dark. He found his hands and ankles tied behind his back, his body naked and sweating. He was on fire, pieces of himself lifting in the hot breeze and blowing away. He could feel his body fragmenting. You were just a little ways away and he tried desperately to reach out to you but as his eyes adjusted you were suddenly too far. If he could just get you to take a single piece of him, a shard of himself, he would live still. Even when the rest of him was dead and gone, he’d be alive in your hands. A raging stress, the fire now reaching his bones. It wasn’t too late. He still had time. Just a sliver of his existence was all he needed to get to you.

When you woke up, your body was at the foot of the bed. Looking over you saw Alastor lazily stroking his painfully hard erection. His gaze downcast, vision cloudy with unmet needs.

“Alastor?” With shaky arms you lifted yourself. You were hot. Was it the fire? No, before it had no heat. A little damp outline into the comforter formed where your body had been. 

“You’re awake.” He reached over and grabbed your ankle, pulling you towards him and rolling you onto your back. Hand still around your ankle, he pulled your leg against his chest.

“Alastor.”

He sunk into you without hesitation, hips rolling into you roughly. Your body was rocking against the bed, wood creaking against wood with the steady force of his thrusts.

It felt good. Better than before, your walls felt soft and puffy around him. Alastor’s head was low, groaning every time he bottomed out. You could see just enough past him to watch the bed canopy swaying above you both before he folded you in half and leaned fully over you.

His eyes were unfocused like his mind, staring into the bed. A large palm at either side of your head, his back curved as he angled his hips to reach deeper yet.

“I’m so hot.” You were struggling to get the words out. It felt so good, the deeper in you he reached the more you seemed to be melting away.

Your hips were lifted off the mattress, held up entirely by his cock as he continued to rut into you. He could feel the fever in you rising. 

Bent and tangled together, his head was nearly above yours. He was sweating, hair stuck down and ears folded back. A bead fell from his cheek and hit your forehead. He was working so hard. Such a strong man. A strong buck. 

Something in you snapped. Something twisted and burned in your belly. You brought the other leg up to let yourself be folded in half completely, and his eyes wandered to your face. Your frontal cortex was just static as the lights were shutting off in most parts of your more human faculties. 

Everything got quiet in you, a deep seated feeling of security creeping up your legs and sinking into your bones. With Alastor in you, nothing bad could happen to you. If you were carrying his offspring you’d be guaranteed a new level of protection. You needed it. You wouldn’t survive if you weren’t fucked and bred by the overlord. 

How could your body be wrong when the feeling was so natural? So intensely confident?

“Alastor!” Your nails dug into biceps, hands clamoring up his arms to cling onto him, “breed me, please.” 

He was caught alight, mind on ablaze with his raging fever. Your plea was a magnifying glass concentrating the sun into him and sparking a wildlife. Alastor was defenseless against the way your words affected him. 

He could feel it, he could smell it, your heat triggered finally. His lips caught yours as his hands slipped up the blanket with how he had to contort to reach your mouth. You moaned into him, teeth on teeth as neither of you had any ability to finesse things.

“On your knees,” he instructed. You scrambled to turn around as he briefly left your body. A desperate whine in the seconds that stretched on, the emptiness unbearable. It hurt to have him anywhere but balls deep in you.

His hands slipped around your tail that still tried to swish side to side. When he tugged you gasped, the closest sensation you had was having your hair pulled. Chills ran up your spine. You nearly fell forward, but a strong hand wrapped around your neck and pulled your head back. He lined up, adjusting his legs wider to get down to your level.

“Are you feeling it?” He nipped at your shoulder, “Your heat?”

You pushed your ass back and pressed his tip into you. The sound that tore through your chest was answer enough for him as you tried your best to move along his length all on your own.

“You’re okay,” he squeezed lightly around your neck, pussy twitching around him as lightning snapped through you. “I’ll take care of you.”

Words that made your head spin. His body on yours felt like security. Everywhere his skin touched yours was a gulp of cold water in a drought.

A cliche, as he began to move again and his cock hit your g-spot every couple thrusts, you couldn’t tell where you ended and he began. His fever was matched to yours, no heat exchanged as warm and wet flesh moved around warm and wet flesh. Was that your hand or his on your stomach? Both were searing, both soft and slick. One of your hands was reaching down to hold his arm for support.

Eyes slipping shut, you imagined this was what being high felt like. You were out of your body entirely, feeling his dick slipping in and out of you from a different plane of existence. There was a sense your mouth was moving but no awareness of what you were saying. Truly just babbling as Alastor’s speed hitched. A clawed hand on your hip cut into you as he pressed deeper with every thrust.

He guided you down onto your stomach, hand now resting on your right shoulder to keep you in place. You were entirely flat, his knees parting your legs so he could get flush against your core. 

His knot was in place as he began to swell. You felt it again, him flooding your womb as he released directly into your twitching cervix. A euphoria filled you so totally you were sure you could feel the cells of your body humming.

Like a cool breeze had blown down, your fevers broke nearly immediately.

“Oh,” you squeaked, Alastor’s hand releasing you as he lied on top of you. The weight of him was oddly arousing as it gave a clear comparison of your smaller size. “I think you’re right. Estrus.”

He nodded, rolling you both onto your sides, “Would you like the good news or bad news first?”

Resting your head on his extended arm, you tried getting comfortable despite the sticky feeling of your skin and the burning in your thighs, “bad news.”

“You won’t be walking straight for days.” He said it with a heavy tone of pride.

“Oh geez…,” you could feel his knot still throbbing between your hips, “The good news?”

“Your heat is going to make me even more desperate to fill you,” his free hand ran down your sides and slipped between your legs to feel where you two were connected. 

You turned your head the best you could, “That’s not good news, Alastor!”

He laughed, “I lied. Oh well!”

While the good news had been a lie, the way your body’s shift into meeting Alastor’s instincts upped his feral responses was not.  You nibbled on fruit and bread and cured meats in the small windows the clouds around your humanity parted.

But when they’d roll back in, a tempest of feral wants crashing into you both, you’d find yourself clinging to the deer demon.

You could have had an apple in one hand and be mid bite when his musk would reach you and your grip would loosen. With just a moan and a lifting of your hips Alastor would be dragging you closer, crawling over your body, mounting you wherever you two happened to be.

It wasn’t that you’d become confident by the end of the day, but that you’d lost all semblance of shame and embarrassment.

When Alastor pulled you onto his lap and placed your hands on his peach fuzz covered antlers, you didn’t need verbal instructions. It took all of your arm span to reach them, so you held tightly as he thrust up into you. None of his noises had been as intoxicating as the ones he made when you were leaning over him and squeezing his prongs with every jostle of your womb. Perhaps he’d lost his shame too, loud and long moans the other residents had to have heard spilling from his open mouth. 

The wet slap of your ass coming back down onto his thighs as he bounced you was barely registered. Head hung low to meet his black engulfed eyes, you didn’t notice his smile was gone for the first time since you’d met him. Pinhole red pupils were locked on your face and imperceptibly roamed around your lust filled expression. 

One hand reached up and rubbed the soft skin of your downturn rabbit’s ears between his thumb and index finger. Soft. Velvet. 

A sensation that was wholly pleasant, not sexual in any nature but feeding the comfort provided by Alastor’s cock buried to the hilt. He wanted to enjoy the smile it gave you but he could feel his orgasm climbing exponentially.

There it was again, the darkness of your combined heat and rut slinking in. Body to body, your own sounds harmonizing with his and losing distinction. “Alastor–,” eyes drifting shut, “Please. I feel empty.” His previous loads dripping down your thighs, then down his own, and soaking into the carpet. “Fill me up. Please, can you breed me?”

His hand pulled down on your ear, “That was never in question.”

You let go of his extended prongs, arching your back to take a kiss. More. His tongue in your mouth, another hole full of Alastor. His hands both reunited on your ass and used the flesh there like handles. He fucked up into you, withholding the growing at his base, until he felt you cumming around him again. As your body sucked him in with rolling spasms, he pressed you down on his upthrust. A pained moan as it was pushed in a little late. 

Lightning behind your eyelids, your mouths hanging open and pressed together. 

Both of you a pile on the floor, a cold blue flame and soft music playing from the still broken radio. Uncharacteristically, Alastor’s arms wrapped around your smaller form and clung to you. The sensations were popping up one by one. Sticky skin, sweat rolling down your face, hair sticking to your neck and forehead. You’d have to peel each other apart. Which you did, eventually. When Alastor could pull out, he followed through on the bath he’d been thinking about. 

You protested, reminding him you’d be soaking the floor with displaced bath water as soon as the next urge to mate came around. But he laughed, smile back in place as if it had never left, “Sweetheart if I do my job right you won’t even realize you’re not in bed until you’re knotted and knocked up.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

He hadn’t been lying about the protective second day. But what he hadn’t anticipated was just how long that aggressive desire to keep others at a distance from you would last. While your deal had been in place for a little while before his rut, it wasn’t until after your time together in his room that it seemed to ever be used. 

But you didn’t need to call out for him, like he had said. No, anytime someone even looked at you with a nasty thought, you were graced with his presence. Most people figured it out quickly enough, but occasionally new and brave idiots would approach you with trouble. 

So when a tall and imposing creature cornered you in a shop, hand holding something sharp and shiny and asked, “Scared, little hare?", you could only smile as your face was lit up by a green glow and offer a little advice, “No, but you should be.”

deleted scene ˗ˏˋ Masterlist ˎˊ˗

˖  ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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[marlshroom]

came to the fucked up realization after finishing gravity falls again last night the parallels of the dream bubble bill made for mabel and the literal state of delusion he keeps himself in.

in the book of bill on the page where bill cipher describes how he figured out a way to manipulate her into giving him the rift, it says:

"Summers ending, my guy. Ending to death, bro. She'd do anything to make it last just a day longer. Probably something RASH and OUT OF CHARACTER, even!"

as we know, mabel cannot handle the fact that she will be growing up. that the relationship with her brother is going to change. she is scared of high school.

bill then says "That was it. She'd never make a deal with me. But she'd make a deal with someone she believed could give her more time. The dream was done. I had her."

bill then creates the dream bubble for mabel, he makes every one of her dreams come true, a place where time is still and she can be a kid forever. a lie so great that she wont have to face the truth.

in journal 3 on one of the pages bill is writing in code, we see this:

[ID: "I ask you, why must[should] time only move forward? Why must cause preceded effect. Who voted on the law of physics."]

my friend helped me break down what bill means by this:

why can we only move forward in the 4th dimension of time. why does something have to make another thing happen, why must cause come before the effect. why cant you move backwards, in the other direction, change the decisions youve made.

how interpret this is bill asking why he is not able to back and stop what he did to his family. he says to ford that he tried and failed to undo the past.** why did him wanting people to acknowledge his advantages instead of suppress him lead to the destruction of his whole dimension?

**(i just want to point out that this is probably the time where bill is the MOST open to anybody, or at least the first. to his henchmaniacs he had been telling them that he liberated his dimension until the oracle discovered the truth. here, to ford, he got so much closer to telling the truth. he SHOWS ford the last atoms of his world. he says that it was destroyed by a monster, not that it was liberated! destroyed)

back to when bill says "I had her" about mabel, he had her cause he knew exactly what needed to happen to trap mabel in a delusion because it is exactly what he is doing to himself. creating a fake narrative of what happened to him, that he was vindicated in killing his whole dimension. only ever doing exactly what he wants because confronting the truth is too scary for him(good fucking lord). the morality page offers good insight into this too.

i am actually just going to quote the whole page and highlight the important part. it speaks for itself really

"THE POINT IS it's[morality] is a very flexible concept! But parents and presidents don't want you to know that, because then you might start asking other questions, like who put them in charge, anyway? So they cram your brain full of guilt and regrets for transgressing the laws that they just made up(the laws that they made to prevent the destruction of their dimension, regardless of if the law + the wrongful medication of a fucking baby triangle did any good to actually prevent it). Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all that baggage down? Quell the shame that follows you everywhere for a lifetime of crimes? MAKE THE SCREAMS FINALLY STOP? The good news is you CAN silence that annoying voice, and here's how!

DENIAL

Works 100% of the time in every situation. What you you mean there are people who disagree? I can confidently say there aren't!

RATIONALIZATION

If you can do it, you can justify it! "Truth" is open-source code and anyone can edit it anytime! Want to be like me? List 3 "evil" things and then 3 "reasons why they're actually good." You'll be rationalizing like Bill in no time!

DETACHMENT

Did you know 100% of your human cells die and are replaced every 7 years? That means that anything you did 7 years ago wasn't even you-it was some dead loser! You can't be held accountable for what a dead person did! What? You think this is just another form of rationalization? I DENY THAT!

THE BILL CIPHER DECISION METHOD!

Working over the eons, the voices in my head teamed up and worked out a foolproof method for making any decision in any situation.

DO WHATEVER I WANT."

ooooooooooooooooooh boy.

he is fully admitting here that he is living in a completely different really in order to justify doing whatever he wants. he gives mabel the tools to deny, to rationalize, to detach herself from the reality of it all. that time has to move forward. and he thinks it will work because it worked on himself.

but it doesn't work on mabel because she understands that she needs other people. shes vunerable, she lets people in, admits when shes wrong. and bill cant do that because it would destroy the fantasy he's created for himself.

[lowkeyremi]

such a random thought but like...

U college!eren and his friends are playing truth or dare (cuz everything happens during truth or dare) and some bitch is jealous bc eren is feeling you and not her. So she's like "I dare you to have sex w someone rn" cuz last time u said truth and they asked u who ur best fuck was and u said no one cuz like u never got past making out

and u start stressing tf OUT cuz aint no way u fucking anyone there. but eren's goofy ass is like "come on let's go fuck" and ur just wide eyed staring at that mf cuz huh???

said bitch is getting mad like "cmon eren someone else should do it, u dont have to pity her"

bro's like "i want to" so he drags u away to his place n is like "we dont gotta fuck, i was just helping u out. wanna fill condoms w lotion?"

uhhhhh "why?"

"proof, armin aint gon believe us if i just give em my word." so u n eren spend the next hour making it look like yall fucked. im talking messed up his sheets, filled condoms, three for good measure. you did end up making out w him cuz like you need realistic hickeys, make up aint gon cut it also he's hot who wouldn't wanna kiss him

he wet his hair to make it look like he showered and changed his clothes.

"take off ur bra"

"what the hell, no"

"it'll be more believable if u "accidentally" left ur bra at my place cuz my dick is so good"

"ur full of shit, u just wanna keep it"

"can i?"

"its one of my cute ones so i'll come back for it, turn around so i can take it off" he turns around, he can hear u shifting around so he takes a lil peek only to see ur back he's lowkey upset cuz he wanted to get a look at those tiddies

eren brings u back to where t or d is going on, n honestly the bitch is mad that eren "fucked" u

yall just acted like it was normal and nothing happened. when u were getting ready to leave armin pulled u aside and said, "ik u guys didnt fuck but ill keep ur little secret."

"how'd u know??" did eren say something

"if u actually had sex w him im sure u wouldn't have come back, eren tends to leave people fucked out."

"why do u know that?"

"threesomes are a thing" he smirks

"i'll keep ur secret if u n eren promise me a threesome, i wouldn't wanna pass up on someone as pretty as you."

you gush a lil bit, "maybe, i wont fuck unless im comfortable."

remi's note: i wanna write this but i also dont lmaooo, this been on my mind for a little bit. dead ass how fun would it be to make evidence w eren, i feel like you'd be helping mess up the sheets and he'd throw a pillow at u and its not soft either he full on fucking body slammed u with a pillow

[lovemyromance]

idk why but i think itll be forced if gwyn and az get together. Like say elain accepts the bond and gets with lucien and azriel knows he has to step back and then suddenly he likes gwyn and they started to form a bond and get together. like... no. thats not it at all. like at least do some type of slowburn for gwynriel if elain and lucien get together. (Idk why but I keep thinking itll be like a forcing thing if elain and luc get together because they know they are mates. LIKE IT JUST WONT HIT THE SAME) But, I think thats why im so built up on elriel and cant fully ship the other ships because theres nothing for me to fully ship.

My meeting got cancelled just now and I'm in a silly goofy mood so let me just say this: if I were SJM and I for some reason DID intend to write Elucien or Gwynriel, I would not have done it this way. I don't think any writer would've done it this way.

The way the books are currently written, it is a clear setup for Elriel. People who deny that are those who still hold out hopes for their preference of ship, but the writing does not support that. It has not supported that since ACOWAR.

Not that I am in any way SJM equivalent but here's how I would've done it, starting from ACOWAR, which was when she started actively planning Nesta & Elain's spinoffs. (And this is in no way Anti Lucien or Gwyn. But I'm tagging it anti because I don't want them getting any ideas lmaooo)

1. The second they got back to the Spring Court, have Lucien grow a backbone and tell Tamlin he's going after Elain. Not simply "Get her back" but "I'm getting her back." (Ring any bells?)

Not wait for Feyre to leave and tag along to see if Elain was "worth fighting for", not simply think about how Elain had been thrown at him, not even think about Jessiminda. I would've had Lucien take action himself. He would've left to go after Elain immediately, and Feyre would've followed HIM - or waited till she got the spring court fucked up and then followed him.

2. Have Lucien be patient with Elain. Have more than just one awkward conversation with Elain. Have Feyre observe multiple moments between them. Have Elain slowly soften to him or get used to his presence. Have Lucien sit in the garden with Elain. Have him frown at her words and bring them up to Feyre and actually try to help her. But most importantly I would've had Lucien figure out her powers. (Sound familiar? Good. It should.)

3. Have Azriel go volunteer to find Vassa, not Lucien. Perhaps he goes into the library to research (starting the foundation for Gwynriel very subtly). Have Lucien join the IC as they fight at SC, have Lucien join them at the HL meeting. Have Lucien go into an angry rage at seeing Graysen and how that man's words hurt his mate. Have him comfort Elain and say "I'll wait - however long it takes."

4. Have Lucien save Elain from Hybern's camp. Have Lucien go feral and break the wards around the camp - setting up for his parentage plotline - and winnow in and save her. Have Elain kiss his cheek. Have Elain finally see him in a different light. (Wow where have I seen this before?)

5. Have Elain willingly invite him to Velaris at the end of ACOWAR. Have Lucien take her up on that offer.

6. In ACOFAS, have Elain & Lucien get each other presents. Elain does not get Azriel a gift, just Lucien. She appreciates the gardening gloves. Gets Lucien ... a fishing rod or hair tie or something idk "here's a rod: for all the fish that you catch with your hands" 🤣🤣🤣 Lucien laughs and Feyre thinks "wow I've never seen him so happy"

7. Continue to develop their relationship in the background of ACOSF. Lucien offers to help Elain train her powers in the background (idk how he would but still). He is there at solstice and gets her another gift. Cassian thinks Elain is sneaking around with him but won't admit it. Lucien goes with them to Hewn city and gifts Elain a dress that suits her better and is from the Day court or whatever. There's a bonus chapter with LUCIEN's POV where Elain & Lucien are about to kiss but they get interrupted and Lucien feels bad he pushed her too far so he says sorry this was a mistake. Miscommunication trope ensues.

8. After ACOSF, start their book with a major conflict that comes up immediately. For some reason, Lucien & Elain go to Day court to research and train her powers - maybe they have a Seer there idk. make something up, a la CC3 translation bean. Their friendship has been steadily growing since ACOWAR, and now it turns to love.

I would've set Elucien up for a slow burn, friends to lovers romance from the second Elain got chucked out that cauldron.

But again, SJM did not write it that way. She wrote all those key pivotal moments with Elriel, not Elucien. It would've been so easy to do the storyline above. It would've made us root for them more by the time their book came around. Lucien was a main character since book 1 (before he fell off) so their story would've been eagerly anticipated.

And I could do this same thing for Gwynriel, but she didn't exist until ACOSF so it would be much much shorter and basically would be Nesta noticing ACTUAL romantic moments between Gwyn & Azriel (not "bye Shadowsinger" or "you're new ribbon Az" but actual romantic attraction - like Azriel physically helping Gwyn cut the ribbon and touching her - with her consent ofc - and Gwyn blushing at him). Like - do the antis realize how EASY that would've been? I dare say it would've been easier for SJM to write Gwynriel than any moment with Elriel at that point in ACOSF, because Nesta spent more time with Gwyn.

There's absolutely no way SJM wrote the books this way with all this Elriel buildup, just so she could have a shock factor (?) of "Elain & Lucien are mates but she avoids him for 3 books and gets with Azriel but SURPRISE- Elucien is actually endgame! And Az gets with Gwyn!"

That just doesn't make any sense. At all.

[asteroidzzzn]

more than just a dream - spark, 004

pairing: college!ellie x reader

synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.

a/n: dina bonding time!

genre: social media au, fluff

series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter

bria 🧚

hey!

dina 💋

hi whats up? :)

bria 🧚

im bored and everyone else went out but i dont feel like drinking rn..

can i come over?

i know the two of us arent super close but this could be our chance to bond outside the group 🤞🤞

dina 💋

omg ofc!! i was feeling the same i just wanted to chill and stay in today 😭 but ya come over whenever

bria 🧚 ❤️ a message

we can watch mission impossible if ur into that!

only if u bring snacks...

bria 🧚

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THATTTT OK im omw now ill put the best i have in a bag 🙏 cya!!

dina 💋 ❤️ a message

bria 🧚

hey dina, sorry i had to leave right away

i have to study for the first unit test later today

wish i didn't, this is so boring

how are u?

dina 💋

im fine

good

im good im great actually

but i really think we should talk about it

what happened last night

bria 🧚

later, ok?

sorry

i need to go right now stepping into class

dina 💋

oh ok, bye :)

dina woodward

hi y/n im literally going insane r u free to talk

y/n

omfg 😭 whats going on

dina woodward

you'll never believe what happened last night

y/n

ughhh i wish i was there! sorry i wanted to stay in to get some sleep, i have a test next period

dina woodward

oh no worries i actually stayed in too so this isnt ab the outing

do u know who bria volentas is?

y/n

yeah i do!

shes really nice ill sit next to her in history in a few minutes actually

dina woodward

oh 😭😭😭 i wanted to talk to u ab this bc i thought u were the only one in the group that didnt really know her

can u keep a secret? just need to get this off my chest

y/n

u can trust me :)

dina woodward

sooo... ive had a crush on her since the dawn of time

y/n !! a message

and we hung out last night alone!!

y/n

!!AWEEE yall will be so cute together i can see it now

dina woodward ❤️ a message

also im so glad u said that bc i wasnt ab to be the one to com eout first 😭😭

dina woodward !! a message

dina woodward

YOUW AHT?!?!?!?!?!?

i didnt wanna assume but i secretly knew.........

y/n haha a message

y/n

🤝🤝🤝

OKOK GET ON W UR STORY

dina woodward

we were watching mission impossible bc ellie ditched me (i wont forget) and she goes 'im cold' so bc shes the actual loml i let her under my blanket

y/n

awwww

dina woodward

then our feet kinda touched then our hands kinda touched and we were getting rlly close... then we fucked

y/n

AHH????

that went from 0 to 100 sO FAST

dina woodward

I KNOW LIKE IMS TILL SO IN SHOCK RN

y/n

SO YGS ARENT TOGETHER YET THO?? HAVE U TALKED AB IT ALL??? FYB? ONE TIME THING?

dina woodward

IDKK I HAVE NO IDEA

this is the average wlw experience i say while dry heaving and crawling onto the roof and howling

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

LMFAOOO it literally is tho we have it so difficult

dina woodward

HELPPP ME AND BRIA ARE IN CHAT RN BUT WE'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING

SPEAK UP WOMANNN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

i said i wanted to talk ab last night and she was so avoidant so she BETTER say something rn

y/n

yall rn

lurking in chat.....

dina woodward

😭😭😭

i need to be distracted rn

eye starts twitching

tell me smth thats going on w u

y/n

ok u trusted me w ur crush so i can trust u w mine right..

dina woodward

ofc ofc

y/n

so u know her actually like really well from what i know

BLEEEH I HATE TELLING PPL I LIKE THEIR FRIENDS

is ellie williams gay..

dina woodward

take a look at her what do u think

yes she is gay! AND U LEIWFAGJEDFANJ YOU LIKE HER??

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

angels harmonize and descend from heaven

BLESSS 🙏🙏

yes i like her... i think. its been hard to like anyone since my last relationship but im feeling rlly hopeful about us

im heavily delusional tho she was prob just being friendly when we hung out

dina woodward

she recently broke up w her ex too, and shes been kinda staying away from relationships :(

ur amazing tho youd be so good for her

if she acts like a bitch to u ONCE run

y/n

damn jesse warned me ab her too 😭 what happened with her and her ex? if u know or if ur ok with telling me

i know its not really my business

i just wanna know what lines i cant cross

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

yeah i totally get it

i actually dont know all the details

i think she only told jesse bc theyre way closer than me and her

if u want to know everything, id ask him or get it from ellie herself

just get closer with her and she'll tell u everything, and u can decide what to do from there

y/n

ok , thats a good idea

ill just use my amazing charm and incredible beauty to captivate her in chemistry

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

HEHEHEHE

speaking of,, she sucks at chemistry. u could get closer to her by tutoring her if youd be up for that?? shed appreciate it sooo much

y/n

#1 wingman award is presented toooooo dina woodward!

dina woodward ❤️ a message

ill def talk to her ab that ill be like heyyy u need help 💋

shit gtg now, test time!

dina woodward

good luck!! with the test and ellie🙏

y/n ❤️ a message

a/n: a lot longer than the last chapter!! but i had a lot to say in this one :D love in the future for my girl dina!!! love to see it

hope u enjoyed as always (✿◠‿◠)

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyels @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @toesorhoes @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86

[catwyk]

tsv finale spoilers below. i wrote this during my first listen through. its long as fuck. im dead im ruined.

cull calling out to rane instead of faulkner.... rane is truly the real leader now

FAULKNER......

"katabasian rane? sister thurrocks?" im gonna be sick

"hes basically a cow" spit your shit carp

"people in my life keep leavin to serve a cause i just cant understand" BASHES MY HEAD ON THE WALL

"we must love them for fleein from our touch e must not run after them" oh baby :(

this is actually fucking destroying me right now oh poor faulkner. failed by the world.

"of course i recognize you. youre carpenter's ghost" // "yes. i am" // "that must mean that im being punished. arent i?" he sounds so small and young oh my god

"if this is my punishment, then why am i smiling?" OKAY PARALLELS TO HIS VISIONS IN S2. OKAY. IM NOT GOING TO CRY. I WONT.

his monologue is ruining me actually oh god.

"they invented their own faulkner. and they forced me to be him" THATS WHAT IM SAYIN

he called her his sister...

im sure hes gonna die

"you crashed a car??" // "yeeah. i crashed a car." i love her

"they need to fix you, they need to make you better, and ill, ill watch over your bed, ill be there, carpenter. ill pray, ill pray and pray for as long as i need to" christ alive. i need to lay down RIGHT NOW.

méabh de brún too good at acting like shes in pain im abt to dial an ambulance

EM??? EM MENTION. EM MENTION

ok this is fuelling my hc that faulkner reminded carpenter of em in some painful and undefinable way

"i should tell paige that story, if i get to see heg again"

"OUR paige?" CRYING FOR A MILLION YEARS. AND HIS "HUH" AS WELL WHEN CARPENTER CONFIRMS

twin mouths truther forever

"i hate you too, faulkner, i truly do. and i love you, too. in spite of everything" // "always on the very precipice of understanding one another"

faulkner's "DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" is fucking me up b narr the voice actor everrr

SHES GONNA LEAVE HIM A CAIRN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"there'll be a place for you, and itll be beside me" DRIVING STRAIGHT INTO A LAMPPOST AS WE SPEAK

NO HES GONNA TRY AND KILL HER ISNT HE

"yeah. perhaps thats it. do you?" again. coolest fucking character on the planet

"this is when the waters parted, and at last..! at last he understood!" jesus christ. jon ware the writer that you are

"say you were raised in the service of a god of fire. so you feel like the world would be a much better place if more things were on fire" i busted out laughing WHAT a tone shift

"dennis duplace helped. hayward.. dad.. carpenter.. im leaving all of you behind" i am a husk of a person. lucille valentine knocking it out of the park

"best feeling in the world, seeing you walk away" holy fucking shit this is DAMAGING ME.

i wanna write every quote thats making my heart sting but the transcript is already up so theres no real point

every single va is popping the FUCK OFF by the way. i have to keep reminding myself theyre acting so i dont like. kill myself

val saving hayward was NOT on my bingo card what the fuck

"and before she died... she remembered who she was" OHHHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDD

hayward doing his own rites of the cairn maiden for himself :(

no gods coming for hayward but "fuck it. this one's not... for any of you. this ones for me"

WHY IS FAULKNER BACK. NONONO ITS ONLY GONNA BE BAD. PLEASE NO

i never realized the parallel between faulkner's gardener father and his gardener god

carpenter meant so much to him :(

"Sister! I love you! Where are you going? Dont turn your back on me! Dont you dare- Sister! I need you! SISTER! SISTER! MARCO! MARCO!" FAULKNER NO NOT LIKE THIS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU JON WARE (<- COMPLIMENT)

THE FAULKNER BODY FAKEOUT. SEE ABOVE POINT

carpenter's scream...... oh god.. oh méabh de brún the woman that you are

"he could be a face from my childhood. or his" charlie.......

HES BEEN BLOND THIS ENTIRE TIME????????????? i should have fucking known

"but no matter how it starts, no matter how it turns out for us, it can end with love, cant it? it can end with love. it can end with kindness." i said oh my god out loud

the delivery of "and then i let him go" why not just drive a railroad spike through my lungs

"the river is vast, and no dam can block every channel, and ours is a world of miracles." i said jesus christ out loud

i wheezed when she just. got back up this old bitch cannot die can she

not nana glass' song............

FUCKING TAINSLEY. CHEKHOVS TAINSLEY.

oh my god. a final heartbreaking credits scene

i had to just sit and lean back for a second. what a fucking ending. what a fucking podcast. this is one of those pieces of media that takes up residence in your brain forever. im never gonna stop thinking about this

[thenixkat]

love how much DC consistently just hates the idea of prison reform, prisoner's rights, and treating prisoners like people…

folks in the Batfam debating about murdering the Joker.

again these are the kinds of things I think about from Barb's end on the whole pressuring Ted back into his costume. She doesn't want to be tech support she wants to be on the field with like half the writers for her Oracle run. And sure some of them are just kinda ableist.

also Barb took one break date and the Joker starts a prison riot

also all of these villains just… following the Joker's lead even tho they should know it wont go well if they do and it doesnt b/c he jokerizes them all (which makes them more dangerous b/c the Jokers just the biggest bad ass ever right after Batman) of course the metagene inhibitor gas mixed with the compound that made the villains throw up turns into Joker venom for reasons

totally the prison using those to control the dangerous super prisoners wouldnt have tested shit out b4 hand

and joker venom makes everyone joker b/c reasons even the folks that are not human or have radically different anatomy and physiology due to their meta powers

RIP to Ted, man is not allowed to be in good comics regardless of whether or not real snakes have ears, Copperhead should still be fucked up by the sonic vibrations shaking the shit out of his organs

b/c that's the correct lesson. Never take a single day off of superheroing and vigilance. Sure you will burn out but if you dont stay vigilant then bad shit will happen to yer friends and family

heheheh good for Orca I hopes she gets to eat as many prison guards as she pleases

why do the Joker's plans involve creating a gravity well?

also i guess we had to Jokerize everyone otherwise the villains might not want to listen to the Joker after getting their power dampening collars off king shark is here too

huh Nightwing keeps getting sexually assaulted and that's likely part of why people call him a slut/slutshame him

like I know he got raped by Harley Quinn in one animated thing and folks thought it was funny and also slut shamed him for getting raped so how much of his comic reputation as a slut is just people slutshaming him for getting sexually assaulted by ladies?

of course Batman and Nightwing can outrun a gravity well forming

everyone knows collapsing gravity is slower than a man carrying another human being can run

of course Ted wouldn't know anything that's happening. It's not like the Bug is a state-of-the-art listening device that would have picked up on all of the nearby radio signals like folks communicating. And its not like the Bug doesnt have dozens of Snoopies, mini Bugs for spying on shit that could have been deployed

"The Bug isn't built for speed and power" bullshit. The Bug is built for power as much as stealth and can top out at 600 mph. Also I like how Batman and Nightwing have no issue outrunning a gravity well but the Bug, a vehicle that is built with an antigrav device that is literally how she flies has an issue escaping from a gravity well

just the fact that no one is allowed to upstage Batman, the Batman understudy, or the Joker and how obviously other heroes have to get nerfed to make this happen or how other villains have to get turned into Joker to make shit happen is just so… blatant

see the problem that i dont believe that the Joker has the influence or ability to coordinate shit on this level.

The USA needs to pay reparations to the people of Rapa Nui for the shit the Joker and the jokerized villains did

They can explain the jokerization shit in-universe all they want, they wont convince me that this wasnt an ass pull

Like why the fuck would being jokerized make all of these villains subserviant to the Joker and all work together instead of clashing and not wanting to be ordered around by this one Joker if they;'re all Joker man Harley Quinn looks so much better in an actual clown suit

also the Joker wants an heir so plans to fuck Harley, her consent is not an issue for him. I'd care more if she werent also a rapist

right.. Lex Luthor is president i think Oracle you use a wheelchair why is yer floorspace this cluttered?

anatomy

Oracle you can't hit your boyfriend just b/c yer upset. That's called abuse

also folks still debating about killing the Joker, who's currently dying of a tumor, when like between yall superhero and the USA penal system the Joker should have been sentenced to death ages ago. He's literally not insane, that insanity defense shit should not have worked for him the first time he got caught again after breaking out of Arkham

Nightwing, the Joker is literally a special case. With the sheer amount of his body count and the fact that the justice system has continuously failed with dealing with this asshole. If you dont want to kill him, that cool, just stay out of the way while other people kill him

The fucking slippery slope argument for not killing a dude who's got thousands of murders under his belt. Like… idk this is not the moral quandary that Nightwing is trying to make it out to be.

half way through Joker: Last Laugh like imagine if Nightwing tried that same argument to a crowd of people who've been victimized by the Joker or had a relative killed by him? He'd get mauled half to death like Jason did in Legends

[cattonicdragon]

Hey love your stuff could you do mantis tigress viper po shen and tai lung x a camel spider reader that can manipulate wind.

Mantis,tigress,viper,po, shen and tai lung x camel spider reader who can manipulate wind

I'm glad u like my stuff!

Also here a reference image for those of you who didnt know what a camel spider is,bc I'm going to be honest I never what it was until now and I both love and hate it

Proof read-ish

My tumblr isnt lagging to much for once ☺️

Also ty for requesting some kfp villains 👹

^camel spider

Mantis

Now I'm not sure how big camel spiders are but I assume they're possibly a bit bigger than a mantis so

Mantis is happy that someone is around his height

He finds you very menacing though,hes not going to lie about that

Hes actually surprised when you tell him your fangs arnt poisonous,they do still hurt but arnt venomous

This makes him feel abit better but hes still abit weary

You make for a good opponent,considering your size and everything it makes a fair fight for mantis

Your both really small,fast and talented so you make for a powerful duo.

You scare of quite abit of people,If you dislike this mantis will do his best to comfort you

The fact that you can manipulate and control wind is so fucking cool

If people thought you were a hard opponent to beat before,well they'd be in for a surprise

One time you managed to trip monkey with your wind manipulation,mantis found this hilarious,after making sure monkey was okay of course

Your a dangerous and menacing enemy and mantis is all for it

He likes cuddling you alot

He wonders if you can spin silk

Tigress

She has alot of respect for you

Despite being small you make a worthy opponent

Your also one of the only ones who's able to beat her

Shes impressed with how much raw strength you have despite being so small

Your wind manipulation plays into how easily your able to best her

She likes to train with you and push your limits

She wants to improve the both of you,pushing the limits of your powers and pushing herself beyond her own limits

If shes ever a little to hot she can feel a small breeze come her way

She likes picking you up and placing you on her shoulder

She'll never let mantis on her shoulder but she will absolutely let you

Should anyone ever threaten to step on you they're going to be stopped immediately

Tigress wont let disrespect like that slip past her

Shes also surprised your fangs dont hold any poison

She likes to softly pet your fuzz

Viper

She loves your fuzz so much

She likes to slither around with you on her head

The fact that you can manipulate wind is so fascinating to her,your so small and yet you can controll such strong air currents

Shes weary of your fangs at first till you disclose that they arnt venomous

She dosnt find the fact that your a spider scary she loves it

She likes to spar with you every so often

You help her put the flowers she has on her head

She wonders what the world looks like from your pov

Shes incredibly sweet with you and softly pets you with her tail

She finds it adorable when you put your front legs up when you try to be menacing

She honestly finds you more cute then menacing(probally because shes a snake)

She likes to put little things on your head like acorn tops and small flowers so you can match her

If you let her dress you up she'll happily hold you up like a kid who just dressed up a cat

Po

Hes thinks your cool but finds you abit scary

Keep his distance from your fangs

He had a hard enough time beating mantis and you have wind powers?!

He dosnt spar with you to often(probally bc he knows his ass is gonna get kicked)

He likes picking you up and putting you on his shoulders or head

When you use your wind it can actually be pretty peaceful aslong as hes not getting flung around by it

He likes to softly brush you fuzz with a finger

Will try to handshake with each leg of yours

When sparing he trys to be as careful as possible

He trys to see things from pov

He trys to learn wind manipulation as well,let him have his fun

He likes to play with his action figures as you watch

He likes to ramble about the things he likes and just talk in general

He tries to make a tiny house or dummy for you,they either end up to big or to small but it's the thought that counts

He likes to learn about what you can and cant do as a spider

Shen

Hes surprised how a little thing like you is so strong

He loves to spar with you and push your abilitys

He dosnt learn for a long time that your fangs arnt poisonous

Hes surprisingly careful with you,dont mention it though

He will sit you on his shoulder and will almost forget that your there

If anyone stares at him or you when you are he'll glare at them harshly

He makes sure your as respected as him

He sees you as his equal no matter your size

Hes fascinated by your wind powers and will constantly ask about it and try find out how far you can go with them

If you ever need help getting up somewhere he'll hold out his hand so he can help you get up

He's affection deprived so he dosnt know how to ask for it,he'll give subtly hints though

If hes annoyed with someone in the room theyll suddenly be escorted out by a sudden strong wind,how strange

Tai lung

He has a tone of respect for you

He sees you as one of his worthy opponents

He loves sparing with you way to often

He finds you wind manipulation interesting and sometimes hes a tad bit envious of it

Needs reassurance sometimes of how great his is

He also likes to pet your fuzz

He asks you to watch or join him train

He likes to make accomplishments with you

Hes fascinated by the fact your fangs arnt venous and even thinks that you had your venom switched out for your powers 💀

He likes to put big things on your head just to watch you pull it off with an annoyed expression

When you hold your arms in the air he finds it funny and actually has a hard time believing it's a defense mechanism

Holds you close to him as a makeshift hug

He will try not to hit you with his tail

It can be hard though since your so tiny

[mommyashtoreth]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR FIC PRETTYPLEASE (holds bowl out like a starving orphan) 🥺

YAYYYY okay I'm gonna like. dump a whole bunch of stuff that bestie @blackmarketjoy and I have been thinking about and working on and stick it under the cut BUT a little amuse-bouche: I'm currently workshopping a goodomens fan-minisode fic Thing that's set in the 1910s where Crowley is disguised as a live-in maid tempting Some Rich Guy into greed and financial ruin with her demonic wiles and sexy ankles, and Aziraphale is disguised as a war nurse who's been quartered in the same Fancy Rich House with some wounded soldiers under her care because you could just do that sort of thing back then. It's a liiiittle Nanny Ashtoreth/Brother Francis-esque but not quite as pre-planned. Okay that's enough to get you goin here's all the extra nonsense (as Aziraphale and Crowley are both presenting as women in this Thing, she/her pronouns will be used for both throughout):

This whole concept actually originated from a DREAM I had that included Crowley in a vintage nurse's uniform because if I am known for anything it is my ability to be happy, big, and sexually normal. My friend Mifs then was like Oh what if Aziraphale was in a vintage maid uniform lol and that festered in my mind for a while. We ended up switching the roles around because it makes more sense with the timeline (since Az would have her bookshop by this time period and typically isn't wont to leave it for too long unless there's an extenuating circumstance) and is generally more in-character for Aziraphale to have the Helping People role.

As I've said before on this blog, I think it's Easy and therefore boring to reduce Crowley's skill of "temptation" to something purely sexual, especially when she's in girlmode. This isn't to say she's completely nonsexual in this fic thing, it's more fun for me if she isn't, but she's not specifically aiming to, idk, "inspire lust" or whatever. She's merely, idk, convincing this Rich Guy to make extremely bad investments while sitting in his lap or something, AND to reveal how much of an asshole this guy is. I don't know what the hell people invested in in the 1910s but I'm sure she'd pick something absolutely disastrous. Maybe she knew about the upcoming Great Depression

Meanwhile I think Aziraphale is here by complete accident, mostly bc I think it's funny when the universe pushes them together. Also because I'm imagining some sort of "Ugh, you again. What are YOU doing here?" "ME? I'm saving LIVES. I should be asking what YOU'RE doing here, foul serpent" interaction and I love it when women argue because they want to fuck each other

This whole thing is set during the winter because that gives Lots and lots and lots of opportunities for huddling for warmth, hand-holding, dramatic fireplace lighting, etc.

^ Related to huddling for warmth, I think Aziraphale (a little bit too excitedly) offers to room up with Crowley in idk, The Help's Quarters or whatever and they end up sharing a bedroom. Hayden idk if I've told u this but in the book Crowley sleeps despite not needing to (I don't Think this is ever mentioned in the show but like if a book thing isn't directly contrasted by a show thing it's canon to me) while Aziraphale doesn't, so I'm kinda just imagining Az spends all night reading while Crowley sleeps. But since it's cold as fuck Az eventually starts to like. read in bed under the covers while Crowley spoons her "for warmth." Also I know they don't Need light to see but I keep imagining Az summoning some kind of Holy Light to read by (maybe it's just one of the little human preferences they develop over time) and Crowley bitching about how bright it is and kinda pushing her face into Az's neck or shoulder "to cover her eyes." Yuri

Going back to some of the Rich Asshole Guy stuff. I think he's like, creepy and pervy and does a lot of Leering at both Az and Crowley, but is especially bad with Crowley since like "she's leading him on" or whatever. Both the Job minisode and the Edinburgh minisode can pretty easily be described as including some kind of "lesson" (almost always for Aziraphale) and I think it'd be fun to do a version of that where unfairly GOOD things (material wealth) are given to a BAD person, rather than the standard opposite. Ultimately the story would end with Rich Asshole Guy making some kind of unwanted advance and Crowley, having successfully driven him to ruin via his own greed, takes off her glasses and shows her eyes (I imagine he's asked her repeatedly to show her eyes, yknow in a You'd Be Prettier If You Smiled sort of way) and hisses and etc., Putting The Fear Of God in him before she and Az leave. Az could, idk, smite the guy or something too he'd deserve it

I think Az is like veeeery repressed sexually, somehow even moreso in girlmode than she is in guymode, and since Crowley is being Vaguely Sexy it's just the perfect yuri storm. Hayden u already saw the snippet I wrote about this but I'll recount it here anyway: Az pulls some like weird pseudo-victim blamey stuff on Crowley like "I don't know why you're surprised that he tries to look up your skirt, I don't know what you expected, pulling it up that high" bc she's working thru some stuff okay and that's the only way she can process the fact that she notices how much leg Crowley is showing at any given time. She knows better obviously and will admit as much it's just that divinity is a performance, yknow, and she's still trying to pretend to be dedicated to that.

IIIII keep imagining something with like Az smuggling human food and Crowley smuggling human alcohol and they have a little yuri dinner in like the courtyard or something, and Crowley gets to tease Aziraphale for stealing. And then Mifs added onto it this is All their ideas but it's really good so I'm paraphrasing it here: 1) Aziraphale gets sick of eating shitty watery period-accurate Soup For The Poor and decides to finally do something about it 2) since Crowley is a maid she'd have more access to the kitchen and leftover food and etc and since Aziraphale is a nurse she'd have more access to idk wherever rich people put alcohol because it's the 1910s and medicine is fake. So it's like them stealing bits and pieces away for each other yknow... themes

I think Some Rich Guy (who needs a name I'm very open to name ideas for all these side characters) should have kids so Crowley can kinda subtly turn them against him because idk, "honor your father and mother" is a Commandment and all that and therefore not doing so is A Sin even if your dad's a dick (Aziraphale can have a little Moment about this, I love putting her through Moments). I'm imagining this less in like a proactive Nanny Ashtoreth way (Hayden I know u haven't seen the show but Crowley's purpose as Nanny Ashtoreth is to instill as much evil into the child they believe is the antichrist as possible) and more in a "purposefully turning a blind eye and letting kids 'misbehave'" sort of way.

"Why doesn't Aziraphale just miracle her soldiers' wounds better" because she wants to spend as much time with Crowley as possible and she's enjoying the maid/nurse roleplay. Obviously. (When Crowley asks her about this she lies through her teeth, of course)

Another idea from Mifs I'm just gonna stick in here: Az has some kind of crisis because one of her soldiers is getting worse and Crowley has to calm her down about it. Shoulder grabbing, face grabbing, eye contact, hand-holding, etc. Very very psychosexual for them both. Also Crowley ends up doing something to help the dying guy, filling her Niceys quota for the minisode (but she's NOT nice! She's mean and she means it!)

OH working title for this courtesy of Mifs is "Of Lace and Lacerations" which I LOVE. Currently the Google doc I write all my ideas on is called "you like kissing girls don't you"

Idk how explicitly romantic (and possibly even sexual) this Thing is going to be, like the romantic tension is obviously obviously there but idk if there'll be kissing. I need to think on how "canon-compliant" I want this all to be (as romantic tension is very canon-compliant but explicit kissing and etc. is not so much). I've been thinking about a bonus feature at the end that's just nasty woman sex so stay tuned for that

And uhhh I think that's it! This is Way longer than I expected lmao but hopefully u enjoy it Hayden ily <3<3 and hopefully some other people enjoy this too! I'm very excited about how this has been shaping up so far and I really hope to write a real actual long-ish thing. This has been a really good exercise for me in story development, I think having the minisode structure to work within helps my ideas fall into place so much more easily (since I usually have a ton of problems with structure). Goodomens yuri forever I'm giving us the yuri minisode we never fucking got

[icallhimjoey]

Hi lovely! (I just realized I don't know your name or pronouns 😅) I hope you're having a great day.

So, I'm feeling a little messy and was wondering if you could write something a lil bit angsty with Joe and reader where one of them is jealous or gets a tiny bit possessive after someone flirted with the other at a party or any place you'd like.

Thank you for your stories, i love them ♥️

hiiiiiiii my pronouns are she/her and idk, call me bestie, or girl, or bitch if you're really excited (but only if you're excited, i wont allow it otherwise) thanks for your request! Wordcount: 2K

---

Last Ones Standing

“Is everything all right?” your question was casual, hoping it wouldn’t sound as if you were scared there was something actually wrong. Logically there shouldn’t be, the party had been great fun, you’d seen and heard Joe laugh throughout most of it. But Joe was distant. Unusually so. 

“Yea. Yea, ‘course it is,” his voice was so flat, it was almost comical to you. Your repressed smile didn’t help the situation at all. 

“Okay... so it’s not. Talk to me.”  

“Everything’s fine,” Joe had his eyebrows raised high, eyes on the set of keys his was swinging around by the keyring around his fingers.  

You had felt it the moment you left the apartment of Joe’s friend and made your way to the lift. You pulled your hair out of your coat and straightened your scarf so it wouldn’t drag over the floor before jogging to Joe to fall into step with him, but when you reached for his hand, he was quick to use it to scratch at his chin, and then he’d slid it into his pocket.  

You didn’t want to read into it. You’d both been drinking. It was late. Tired. But when the lift doors had closed, Joe had sighed deeply.  

“Cool, okay. That’s perfect then. I love it when my boyfriend is fine.”

Joe was absolutely lying to you and you knew it, but you weren’t going to press it further if he didn’t want to spill what was on his mind. So you changed the subject.  

“Ugh, my feet hurt a little... hey, did you hear what happened to-”  

“I saw those eyes.” Joe interrupted you trying to recount the party. You looked at him, his jaw tense and eyes averting you.  

“Eyes? Whose eyes?”  

“Yours.” He nodded up at you, almost challenging you, but then stepped out of the lift immediately when the doors opened, leaving you to follow him like dog. If he was trying to piss you off, whatever he was doing was certainly doing the trick.  

You sighed, groaned almost, annoyed at what Joe was doing.

“I’m sorry for bringing them, I’ll leave them on my bedside table the next time we go to a party together.”  

The clicks of your heels echoed against the tall buildings, the two of you were the only people in the street. It was only a ten to fifteen minute walk to your apartment so you’d decided to just walk there, knowing it would sober you up a bit which should technically help your hangovers the next day. You regretted it now, not looking forward to keeping up with Joe’s quick pace in the shoes you were wearing, trying to talk him out of whatever mood he was in.  

“Not necessary.” Joe said, turning his head to check it was safe to cross the street before doing so. Oh, Joe was mad mad. You couldn’t remember a time where he hadn’t reached for your hand when he was about to cross a street with you, even if there weren’t any cars around. 

“I won’t bring my girlfriend next time,” The comment felt like a stab in the chest. 

“Can you please just tell me what the fuck I did wrong so I can apologize for it?” You couldn’t have said a thing more wrong, apparently.

“What do you expect of me?” Joe’s voice was far too loud for this part of London at this time of night. You made big eyes at him that were meant to communicate for him to shut up and lower his voice, but his reaction to your face turned your big eyes into eyes that asked him what the fuck was wrong with him more so in the general sense. Joe looked at you as if you were the one being unreasonable, and you weren’t having it. 

“I expect of you to communicate with me like a normal person!” you hissed. “What do you expect of me?” you shot the question back at him, bent forward slightly at the hip in your arguing. Joe didn’t like it.

“I expect that when I take my girlfriend- my fucking girlfriend to a party of one of my friends that she acts like she’s there as, oh I don’t know, let me think about it- oh, as my girlfriend!”  

Gross. That was way too possessive for your liking. You knew Joe’d been drinking too much, but he was shouting at you with his face way too close to yours. In public too – sure, it was late, but you were out in the streets and anyone walking or driving past could see and hear him shout at you. Absolutely unacceptable.  

You shook your head at him, decided to step around him and kept walking. He was quick to follow. 

“Were you aware that you were absolutely engrossed in conversation for two and a half hours? Two and a half hours?! Come on! I was asked by literally everyone there what was going on with the two of you,”  

“Literally everyone? Okay, Joe.” Your eyes had already shot up at the sky in dismissal before you could stop yourself. 

“Honestly, what the fuck was so important for you to-” 

You stopped walking, turned, and held your hand out that placed itself on Joe’s chest as he walked into it.  

“Did you have fun?” you asked him, brows furrowed at him. Joe thought of a second. “Yes, it was fine, but-” 

“Great. So did I. We went to a party and we both had fun. What’s the issue here exactly?”  

“You had fun without me!” Joe spat at you. 

“Aww poor baby Joey needed my attention, did he?” you mocked him and it was snarky and mean but you felt he deserved it for shouting and spitting at you. 

“Fuck off,” he scoffed, pushing your hand from his chest, and stepping around you to continue the trek home like you’d just done before. 

“You’re an adult, Joe! Stop acting like a fucking teenager,” you called after him before following him at your own pace, not caring about catching up with him.  

Joe was fast. He took maybe fifteen huge steps before turning around and just as quickly marching his way back to you. It made you stop in your tracks.  

“You know what, no. Nope. I’m not going to do this.”  

“Good. Me neither.”  

But then he walked right past you and you watched him walk away in the opposite direction. 

“Where are you going?”  

“Home.”  He’d not get there until at least an hour and a half later if he really was going to walk all the way to his own flat.

“Joey, stop. Stop!” you called, and to your surprise, he listened and stopped, but his legs didn’t stop moving. He paced around the same four pavement tiles for a few seconds, his arms held up high as he held onto his own wrists that rested on his head.  

“He’s going to break up with her.” You revealed why you’d been so busy talking to one of Joe’s friends that night. You were the only other girl besides her in the friend group who’d been involved for years, so it felt completely natural for Joe’s friend to come to you for advice on his predicament.  

“What?” Joe asked on an exhale, shellshocked by the news. 

“You’ve all been making jokes about when he’s going to propose or knock her up… but he wants to break up.” You had promised him you wouldn’t tell anyone to at least give him time to figure things out for himself. They’d been together since secondary school – this was a huge decision. You knew Joe was too good of a friend to not say anything about it to him if you’d tell him, especially if the whole ordeal was going to take a few days, or even weeks. So, your plan really had been to keep it to yourself.

“He’s going to dump her?” Joe started taking smalls steps back over to you. He absolutely couldn’t believe what he was hearing. From this group of friends, she and you were the only girlfriends that had lasted as long as you had. If Joe’s friend was really going to break up with his girlfriend, it’d leave you as the last girlfriend from way back when and Joe hadn’t expected it. He always thought everyone would stay together, like he always intended to do with you. But, as Joe learned over time, including this revelation tonight, that didn’t seem to be the case.

“Was I supposed to just pat him on the back and wish him luck?” you asked Joe, arms held out wide in a huge shrug.

“Of course not,” Joe seemed annoyed by the way you suggested that, because obviously that wasn't what you should’ve done.  

Joe stopped in front of you, and you tried to make eye contact, but Joe rested his gaze on your shoulder. Then he brushed a piece of hair from it, but held onto it and let his fingers play with it, slowly twirling the lock in his hands. “Why does he… why is he going to-”  

“There’s 2,5 hours’ worth of reasons,” you joked, making Joe wince at the way he’d held that over your head earlier. “But it comes down to the fact that he just doesn’t think he can spend the rest of his life with her, you know?”  

Joe nodded a little, his anger for you already forgotten. It had completely been replaced with worry and empathy for his friend. And for his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, too.  

“He’s honestly heartbroken,” you said, explaining why you had chosen to sit and listen to Joe’s friend all night. It made you feel good that you could be of service; be a listening ear, give a word of advice and just be kind to one of Joe’s friends that trusted you enough with information he didn’t feel like sharing with anyone else just yet.  

“I should call him,” Joe went to reach for his phone, but you stopped him by grabbing hold of his wrist.  

“That’s exactly what you shouldn’t do. I’ve been sworn to secrecy. He can’t know that you know.”  

Joe looked at you, slightly bewildered. He realized that you could’ve easily told him straight away to completely avoid the fight you’d just had. It would’ve prevented Joe from screaming at you in the street. But you hadn’t told him because you’d promised his friend you wouldn’t. You were trustworthy like that. Joe plummeted into heavy guilt and his squeezed his eyes shut as he groaned at himself for being an awful boyfriend to an amazing girlfriend.  

“I’m the worst,” he started, taking hold of both of your hands and brought them up to his mouth to press his lips against them. His apologetic puppy-dog eyes looked over them, and there was no way you could stay angry at him when he looked at you like that. As Joe softened, so did you, and you understood how Joe must’ve felt, eyeing his girlfriend from across the room engrossed in a deep, serious conversation with another man for most of the evening. Especially if people had really come up to him to ask him about what the deal was. You had checked in with Joe a couple times, looked over to see him laugh and banter with others, and you’d felt like he’d been fine without you. And he had been! But he would’ve liked it so much better if you had joined him for more of the evening.

“Me too,” you laughed. “I think it’s why we work so well.” You lent in and Joe met you halfway for a quick kiss.

“I’m sorry.” Joe said, kissing you again.

“I’m sorry too.” You replied, accepting every kiss you could get out of him.

“So… do we know anyone we can set him up with?” Joe joked; eyes narrowed, gaze aimed over the top of your head, as if he was thinking it over deeply.

“Oh my God, stop,” you laughed. “They’ve not broken up yet!”

Joe put his arm around your neck and turned you around, pulling you along with him, back on track to your apartment.

“Did you at least try to talk him out of it?” Joe asked, now falling into the chat you had wanted to have earlier, recounting the party with you.

“Why did you think it took me so fucking long?”

Joe curled you into him more and kissed your forehead. “Last ones standing, hey?”

“Last ones standing.”

---

The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl @kylakins88 @paola-carter - add yourself

[twstmagica]

Magical Girl Yuu's First Day pt 5.2

***Back to Yuu at Ramshackle ***

She was gathering the least grubby pillows, cushions, and drapes when the rain started. This place was already depressing, between the chilling drafts and foreboding shadows Yuu’s nerves were already on high alert. 

The pitter-patter of rain quickly became a harsh pounding against the walls, and served as the last prop needed to turn this dismal building into the set of a horror movie.

Seriously, Yuu was half expecting a fiend to jump out from around the next corner. Or behind her. Or perhaps from above…

**BANG**

Right on cue the noise reverbs through the building, quickly followed by frantic scratching.

Yuu’s scepter is out and ready faster than you could say “jump scare”.

Ain't no way she’s going down like some extra in the first ten minutes of the movie!

The building rattles and moans, starting quiet but slowly picking up volume.

Yuu approached the hallway exit, weapon drawn and body away from the door. Nudging it open she slowly pans her view (gotta slice the pie!) and fires a low energy bolt inside.

“Nyeh-!”

Gottem!

Wait. She recognizes that voice.

“Gah! It’s you again!”

Fire catcoon!

“What are you doing here!”

[spiderman pointing at spiderman]

In order to escape the storm Grim had broken into the nearby building. 

Soggy and tired, he didn't have the energy to do more than some token threats. 

For her part, Yuu was feeling pretty worn out. 

This may not have been the worst day of her life, but the kidnapping/enrollment to mystery boarding school was still pretty stressful. 

Neither party was eager for another fight, but that wasn't up to them.

While the two were posturing the rattling had only gotten closer.

“Oho? Some new residents?”

“A ghost?!”

The disturbance is a lot closer now

“I’d love it if we could play…”

Two more ghosts phase through the wall, escaping whatever was making the racket on the other side.

“...But, ah, now isn't really a good time.”

The wall breaks as a being of dread and bloodlust enters the room.

Grim freaks out.

Yuu freaks out.

“Oh shit that's an upyr!”

“A what!?”

“It's a type of fiend made from dead people,”

It takes a swipe but the group is already running

“They're weak to light and fire based attacks!”

This one looked different from the pictures. Kinda raggedy, like it's malnourished.

“Hey kid, you seem familiar with this thing. Think ya can lend a hand?”

“Sure can, this is what I’m trained for!” Theoretically that is. 

Actually, this was Yuu’s first time seeing a upyr in person.

 But the one before them is looking pretty mangy and worn out. Like a humanoid representation of the building they're in right now. So she would probably be fine.

Guess I should do my thing.

[Hope’s Guiding Light, Ardent Dream, Awaken!]

My uniform shimmers into place around me

“What the fuck?”

Guess he’s never seen a magica before.

The catcoon was so caught off guard that the upyr nearly got him.

Thankfully one of the spooks blasted them out of the way.

“Mya! Don’t hit me!”

“Better a kick to the butt than to kick the bucket!”

I got you fam

[Dreamer’s Blessing]

A spray of butterflies engulf Grim and the ghosts.

The group exclaims about feeling stronger.

I love support spells, the best way to heal someone is to make sure they wont need healing.

“Ghosts! Harass the fiend and keep it distracted! Grim blast your fire! If we stall it long enough I can charge up my [Hope’s Smite]”

“How are you doing that with your voice?”

“Doing what?”

No questions, just fight.

Thanks to our incredible teamwork, but mostly the upyr’s already terrible state, we actually managed to destroy it, along with the building.

“We did it! Myeh? What’re you doing?!”

Yuu had begun to stomp on the upyr’s remains, before kicking the leftover ashes into the wind.

“Just in case” she says before sitting with a tired huff.

Grim gets to watch as the pink costume disappears with a sparkly light.

On one paw, Grim really wants to demand answers.

On the other paw…. It's been a really long day.

Crowley shows up to find Yuu and Grim huddled under some rubble.

“What have you done!?!?”

Great timing birdman.

Yuu and Grim trip over themselves to explain how this instance of property damage wasn't their fault.

Crowley remembers that ah yes there were ghosts here but that they wouldn't have done this much destruction.

The duo insists that they were fighting for their lives.

Then the ghosts come out and corroborate that there was a monster attack.

Ghost B explained that something had broken in a couple days ago and they were searching for the intruder to ‘play’ with them.

At first it just hid, but with each sunset the trespasser grew bolder, until it started outright attacking them at night.

The Ramshackle ghosts were worried that it was only a matter of time before the intruder started attacking, and possibly killing students.

And Crowely would know all this if he paid more attention to his school.

“Yes, well-!”

Ramshackle has been vacant for so long! How can he be expected to pay attention to such an obsolete part of the campus?

Please ignore the fact that he had tried putting Yuu here…

What is more important is the fact that this fiend, as Yuu named it, had reached the school in the first place.

The headmaster revealed that for the past decade similar creatures had been appearing in Twisted Wonderland, but the authorities have been working to keep this out of public view. 

Even S.T.Y.X had gotten involved due to the blot-adjacent nature of these beings.

Well, Yuu doesn't know what blot is, but her home has been dealing with friends for centuries.

Crowely tries berating Yuu, saying this was supposed to be her residence.

She’s like dude chill I can just set up some sheets.

It'll be just like camping.

Birdman backtracks and says she'll just have to spend the night in the infirmary.

He tries to shoo Grim away, but Yuu is still feeling solidarity from the attack and insists the catcoon stays with her. 

For his part, now that he knows there might be more fiends out there, Grim isn't super psyched to go back into the forest.

Crowely gives in, with the caveat that Yuu is responsible for Grim’s behavior from now on.

“Yeah sure whatever.”

Ends with Yuu and Grim saying goodnight in the infirmary.

[allamericansbitch]

Listen I’m a big believer that celebs should shut the fuck up most of the time but the thing with neutral artists who never take a stance, especially white people is that they will unknowingly invite a very racist fandom. 

As a poc in this fandom, I’m used to swifties being racist but my god over these last couple of weeks, seeing big accounts cyber bully a Palestinian swiftie for wanting Taylor to sign a ceasefire letter is so mind-boggling. They always make hypothetical scenarios where they’re like “It’s gonna put her in danger, what is they b0mb the stage?! You can’t expect Taylor to speak about everything!” And it’s just so tone deaf, rude, and insensitive. 

We reach a point in this genocide that a lot of Palestinians no 1 ask for the rest of the world just to amplify their voice because a lot of the donation trucks are not allowed to enter Gaza and the ones that do, the UN are selling the donations instead of giving them for free. So why is it such a wild concept for racist swifties that a lot of people are asking Taylor to speak up? This is the biggest thing happening in the world right now, she literally wrote “It’s time to use your voice” in her latest story and we’ve seen time and time again how big of an impact Taylor has. 

saying arguably the most famous person on the planet rn should not speak up about palestine is not only admitting they don’t care about what palestinians IN palestine are asking for but they also care more about a pop star than the life and death of millions

this is so well put and i completely agree. taylor's silence provides comfort and a safe place for hateful people because she does not give them a reason not to feel supported, her silence creates space for them whether she knows that or not. and this can apply to politics in general because she's gone fully silent and hasn't taken a stance on anything in like 3+ years, but specifically about Palestine.

The fans who are making up hypotheticals about the terrible things that could happen if taylor dares to say anything about Palestine are some of the most ignorant, unself aware people i've ever seen. 'what if she becomes a threat' 'people could get hurt' 'they could bomb a show', hey guess what... all of that stuff is currently happening. at this very moment. to Palestines. They are being bombed, targeted and threatened as we speak but thats not what they care about, they care about the hypothetical scenario of a billionaire not being safe. A billionaire who, within seconds of any hint of a threat has an abundance of resources to keep herself and everyone around her safe. Palestines cannot even imagine that privilege those fans are ignoring. Imagine looking at a Palestinian and saying 'sorry she cant speak up and support you, her safety might be threatened'. All of the worst hypotheticals they can imagine happening to Taylor are currently happening to Palestinians but they dont matter as much to them i guess.

Fans will really expose themsleves and how little they actually care about real life cruelty in order to defend a women who will never be their friend. 'her saying anything wont change anything', it might not, or maybe it will.... so human life isnt worth the chance of finding out? 'she's not a politician she's a singer' so singers cant care about genocide? singers are above the deaths of a nation? 'she might get hurt' so you care more about the hypothetical hurt of a stranger than the real life hurt of thousands, mostly children. Fans speaking on behalf of or dismissing the suffering of Palestinians to make their fav pop star not look bad is indeed a disturbing thing.

Taylor first hand knows how powerful her fandom is, with the re-recordings, breaking records, being on the biggest tour of her career and it selling out immediately all over the world. she knows her fans can move mountains, she saw it with voter registrations going up and spiking the second she finally spoke up about politics. she knows her words are some of the most heard around the world and her choosing to not denounce genocide says a lot about her, none of it surprising. that environment of indifference and silence invites hateful people and a hateful environment for those who want morality and change. people will bend over backwards to protect someone who doesnt protect others less fortune and privileged than she is. we know she probably isnt gonna say anything about this, she cant even take a stance on american politics, not even on a state level. denouncing a genocide is too much for her, it might make people mad at her, god forbid. she values ticket sales and her popularity over morality and change, it's that simple. And she’s found a fanbase that feels the same way.

[nerves-nebula]

op I am obsessed with your kidnapped AU please when you have time (I know you're busy, no pressure!) please infodump about it I am fascinated, so curious, I want to study the AU like a scientist studies a newly found organism (/compliment!)

Oh, you flatter me :> You’ve also given me permission so uhhhhhhhhhhh heres some random stuff bout the 

*~*~*~Kidnapped Caleb AU~*~*~*

Hunters upbringing:

Hunter was kidnapped from the hospital in his mothers room by Philip, who kind of just picked him up and walked out with him (prolly while dressed as a nurse)

Philip names him “Caleb” cause he’s fucked up like that (but I’ll be calling him Hunter when describing him, to avoid confusion)

He’s been responsible for most of the upkeep in the house and has been since he was about 9 years old. (cleaning, taking out trash, organizing stuff, doing laundry, and occasionally cooking- though he couldn't follow recipes that were too complication)(starting going on grocery runs around 10-11 years old)

He’s also responsible for cooking whenever the cult gets together and has a Big Meeting with food and everything. He became responsible for this at around 13-14 years old cause his uncle realized he was Really Good at Cooking.

He likes birdwatching, it's one of few things he can do from inside the house that lets him interact with the outside world safely. Philip fucking hates it but lets him do it anyway.

Nobody in the cult is aware that Hunter’s been kidnapped, except Kikimora, who overheard it one day while snooping like she always is. The ones who know about Philips brother assume he’s dead because Philip barely ever talks about Caleb. And when he does, he does it in the past tense and doesn’t use his name. 

Nobody knows Hunter is Philip's nephew, as Philip insists on being called “father” while others are around. (except kikimora once again, because shes Just Like That)

Hunter doesn’t find this that weird because other cult members also refer to Philip as “father” on occasion 

The Cult: (name pending)

    This might be the least developed part of the AU. My knowledge of cults is mostly about Weird American Fundie stuff, and a few instances of big cults from like the 80s that used a lot of spiritual language and perpetuated a lot of abuse. And The Family International (I went down a rabbit hole about them a while ago.)

I don’t want to be insensitive about how I portray the cult either, because I know there’s kind of a problem with people not taking cults as seriously as they should be taken. So if I have the time I might wanna flush out the cults structure a bit more later. 

Soo keeping that in mind, the cult is gonna be mostly based off of christianity. I might get some things wrong/weird since I was raised Catholic and most cults I know about are more fundie based, I think.

But the basic ideas I have right now are these:

Philip is the head of the cult, obviously

Hunter is his right hand man but isn’t actually given a lot of power in the cult, just duties and chores to run

There are a few smaller branches of the cult across Gravesfield, but they all get together for big celebrations and stuff

There is some sexual abuse that happens but I wont go into graphic detail or anything. It’s mostly just crossing people’s boundaries and making them feel humiliated and stuff.

A lot of crossing ppls boundaries in general, under the guise if bringing people closer together

Physical abuse, verbal abuse, spiritual abuse, honestly just about every kind of abuse you can imagine. Some of it is ritualized, especially when Philip makes 

NO PETS. ESPECIALLY BIRDS/MAMMALS. If you have a pet, they can never be in Philips presence or you won't hear the end of it. Something about keeping animals under the same roof as humans being “dirty” or something idk

A somewhat loose hierarchy system, mostly based on how much Philip likes you. Except for Philips “Eyes and Ears” which are initiated with an official ceremony (eyes and ears = coven heads but there are no “covens” so they’re tasked with being his Eyes and Ears instead, to make sure everything is going good and report back to him if not. I might change this name later cause I just came up with it)

A lot of talk about what to do specifically to save your soul, how much income to contribute to the cult, how much time and labor to give to the cult, how to get other people interested in the cult yadda yadda yadda u get the point 

I’m toying with the idea of Camila nearly joining the cult after Manny died, since the community seemed very comforting and offered her a support system to help take care of Luz. But I haven’t thought about it much yet.

The CATTS: 

OK SO I’ve been thinking about Raine a lot. Sort of. I’m just thinking, because Raine, Darius, and Eberwolf are actually anti-Coven ppl in TOH. Which makes their role in this au a bit confusing. My first thought was that Raine could be some kind of investigative journalist who’s in the cult to take it down or expose it or something. They’re a relatively new recruit who heads their own branch of the cult, and is in charge of the music for get together and like drum circles and stuff. 

They know Philip had a brother, but haven’t realized yet that said brother is still alive cause they haven’t gone looking into Caleb much. Right now, they’re mostly focused on trying to uncover anything super illegal, specifically about whatever weird machines Philips always tinkering with. If Raine had looked into Phillips family history more, they probably would’ve found the story about Calebs kidnapped kid and put two and two together about Hunter.

The thing is though, they probably wouldn’t have gone to the police immediately even if they found out Hunter was kidnapped, cause they have a very bad feeling about whatever Philip is using those weird creations of his for. They’d be worried that if he gets busted for kidnapping, then whoever he’s collaborating with on his creations will get away scott free and Raine will never find out what they’re actually for.

HONESTLY idk if that’s how investigative journalism works. Maybe a real investigator would go in knowing everything about Philips background and would begin to suspect things immediately when they saw Hunter. But for now Raine doesn’t know about Hunters kidnapping.

Anyway, I don’t see Darius or Eberwolf as being in a similar situation, I think the two of them joined the cult genuinely and are still a bit caught up in it, but are now a bit disillusioned with its leader for whatever reason (god knows there are plenty of good reasons but I’ve heard it's hard to break out of a cult mindset so I’ll have to think of a really good one later.)

Kikimora is a diehard cult member from a rough family background who is desperate to please Philip and hold power over others. Just like in canon! I'm also excited to develop Caleb (the real one) more, but I’ve run out of steam to write about the AU so that’s all for now.

[crimeronan]

dogbird asker, i meant luz as the dog and hunter as the bird. unsure how i messed that up. anyway here is some lyrical analysis:

"Sorry that I’m scared of thunder like a dog I know that you love rain But I cry when something shakes the walls Tail between my legs I scratch while you relax Ruffling feathers watching storm clouds pass Hoping I’ll make you hate the thunder too Digging in my claws will make you hate me too"

this ENTIRE first verse is very much luz considering EVERYTHING she does that even slightly hurts him an act to hurt hunter on purpose. definitely. and that last line - yeah. she wants him to hate her so bad.

"I wish I could take you back to California Where you’ve never heard of creatures like me Little Bird won’t you fly away Little Bird won’t you fly away"

this entire part of the chorus.. mmm. i wish you had never heard of creatures like me (humans) and you need to leave. please leave for your own sake.

"And sorry that I roll over to my folks It’s not that I’m ashamed"

luz being forced to isolate hunter and bend to belos's whims for so so long to protect him. she has to roll over unless he gets hurt.

"I’m a hunting breed And bird is all they eat If they sniff you out, they gnash their teeth"

luz feeling so SO fucking guilty about being human. all she knows of humans is that they hurt witches like hunter (im a hunting breed). she thinks its in her blood to hurt him too now. oh baby...

"I’m a coward scared of living outside Even if it means I crush you at my side"

luz cant ever live outside. she wont let herself leave the castle, the isles, because of her duty, and therefore hunter has to stay too. even though hes miserable. and she feels like shes destroying him, at her side..

"Don’t you fear me? Hunting songbirds in my sleep"

luz murdering hunter nightmares, do i need to say more.

"Sorry that I don’t treat you like I should I only lick my wounds Teeth bared, and snap “You’re all that’s good”"

luz being so stuck handling her own issues that she cant help him, even though he helps her so much. he keeps giving but she knows hes gonna go empty, she knows it. but hes all thats good.

"If I chase you away I’m back to chasing tail Running circles after what was real And maybe one day I’ll catch it, and I’ll cry Wishing that little songbird was still mine"

this last bit admittedly doesnt fit the best. but its too me her fear that she'll end up like belos. what if he comes to his sense and escapes and she hates him for it? what if shes just like him, what if she'll go in circles trying to recreate hunter? running circles after what was real like belos? she'll catch a "hunter" and she'll fucking hate it because it isnt her hunter?

WAHH.... my girl.... yeah.... :(

your mixup was actually pretty serendipitous given JUST HOW STRONGLY i saw hunter when the POVs were swapped. just goes to show how deeply luz and hunter are wrestling with the same feelings, just through slightly different lenses....

i'll swap you the hunter POV thoughts i had!

"Sorry that I’m scared of thunder like a dog I know that you love rain But I cry when something shakes the walls"

everything when they were kids, hunter trying to keep luz out of trouble, hunter being the one who's always SO keyed up and aware of danger around them

-

"Tail between my legs I scratch while you relax Ruffling feathers watching storm clouds pass"

every early bit pre-horrors where luz notes how tense and anxious hunter gets around belos, around other people in the castle, around conflict, around all these things that have (at least she'd like to believe) never hurt luz

-

"Hoping I’ll make you hate the thunder too Digging in my claws will make you hate me too"

the push and pull between "i need to keep you safe and none of the things we do are safe" and "if i make you follow the rules i'm gonna suffocate you"

-

"I can’t stand you in my bed You’re too gentle I need you to hurt me back instead"

self-explanatory. the "you're too good for me" goes both ways baybey!

-

"I wish I could take you back to California Where you’ve never heard of creatures like me Little Bird won’t you fly away"

HE WANTS TO GET HER OUT OF THE CASTLE SO BADDD.... he can't quite wish that she'd never come to the isles but he's sick with himself for that because he's sure she'd be happier with a human life.

also bonus in that hunter doesn't actually Know about all the grimwalker horrors, but wow. it Sure Fucking Would Be Nice for luz to have never heard of creatures like him, huh,

-

"And sorry that I roll over to my folks It’s not that I’m ashamed But they keep me on the leash to choke"

this is also hunter about belos. love that these two kids are so completely fucked up because of that guy. leave them alone!!

-

"I’m a hunting breed And bird is all they eat If they sniff you out, they gnash their teeth"

hunter knowing how much luz loves wild magic and how much wild magic loves her and being Fucking Terrified of belos finding out about that. and fucking terrified of belos hurting her in general.

also. hunter the hunting breed indeed

-

"I’m a coward scared of living outside Even if it means I crush you at my side"

hunter feeling guilty that he never ran away with luz when they were kids or otherwise Got Her The Fuck Out Of There...

-

"When the bell rings My mouth waters I’m a habit That won’t alter"

hunter in the present day where the timeline is at right now feeling like he's drowning because he doesn't know how to apply his Protect Luz skillsets when belos is dead and luz's greatest enemy is herself...

-

"I’m an instinct Don’t you fear me? Hunting songbirds in my sleep"

not quite as neat a nightmare parallel for hunter, but wow this can just be. Boy Who Has Killed So Many People

-

"Sorry that I don’t treat you like I should I only lick my wounds Teeth bared, and snap “You’re all that’s good”"

every fight they've ever had with hunter going "why won't you accept that i love you. you are the only decent person in the entire world" and luz going "THAT IS WHY"

-

"If I chase you away I’m back to chasing tail Running circles after what was real And maybe one day I’ll catch it, and I’ll cry Wishing that little songbird was still mine"

boys who are So Fucking Freaked Out by the thought of any kind of future without luz. while also forcing themselves to be okay with it as long as she's alive and happy somewhere. it's Fine. It's Fine. It's Fine...

[johannestevans]

i was reading your post abt asab at the doctor and my brain tried to go into solution mode as it is wont to do, but i realized like. there is no solution. at least not one that isn't a complete overhaul of the medical system, including research fields.

i've been on t for a year as of tomorrow, and a few months in i noticed my adhd medication stopped working. it got so bad that when i would take it, i would have to fight to keep myself awake. i couldn't figure out what was going on and my doctor just said 'just keep taking it and maybe it'll level out.' several months later, i still felt like absolute shit when i took it to the point where i felt better when i didn't take it. i asked to up the dose but she said it would be 'too much of a shock to my system.' i eventually just stopped taking it because even though i barely function without it, i didn't function at all with it on that dose. i talked to a friend last week who is also on t and he said 'oh yeah your dose is too low. your metabolism can change on t, so it's likely you need to up your dose.' so like not only was this a situation where if i was a cis man my concerns likely would have been addressed immediately, but it was a failure of my doctor to actually understand how trans bodies on hrt work and what they need. so how exactly would having "afab" on my chart have helped??? bc there is no difference in initial dosage between male and female patients, the starting dose is usually 30mg across the board (my doc had me on 30mg initially then lowered my dose to 20mg after i lost access to it for a month??????), the thing that affected me wasn't my fucking vagina or ovaries, it was a change in my endocrine system!!!

and i feel like this heavy reliance on asab makes doctors lazy. they don't do regular blood tests, they don't test your metabolism, your hormone levels, they just assume based on the f or m what your levels should be, or they see that you're fat so they assume you have high bp, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. (cannot tell you how many times i've had nurses take my bp numerous times bc they refused to believe it was average, and i still keep getting hounded abt my blood sugar and cholesterol despite the fact that every single test has come up normal.) like i don't think any doctor has ever even bothered giving me blood tests until i started t, they just assumed from the f on my chart and my body size. i remember getting put on metformin when i was young with no blood tests simply because i was fat, and i still have kidney issues because of it.

anyway sorry for ranting in your inbox, that was kind of all over the place, but your post just really struck a chord and reminded me how much i hate the medical system.

YEAH EXACTLY. I'm so sorry, it's just like... ARGH.

Like especially the weight problems and like... Doctors desperately want to go based off of people's ASAB and what their weight is and not what's normal for them! Same for racial assumptions, especially assumptions doctors will make about Black people and anyone who's dark-skinned and/or has natural hair.

Plus disability! Addiction! Mental health issues! They'll just make assumptions based off any other aspect of their identity - any excuse to dodge talking to the patient and treating them like they're a human being, or acting like as a doctor they're a human being rather than a god and commander.

Like, all these specific metrics rather than what the actual patient's experiences are, and what they're saying. A lot of medical professionals just think the world will end if they actually talk to and listen to one of their patients, and it's infuriating!