#shes gonna be so scared and its gonna be painful and i hate everything about this

[iwasraisedfromperdition]

.

[thewosoway]

Gone again (part 2) // Alexia putellas x reader

Part 1

The day was lovely sat with alexia and nala. You all cuddled on the couch together and ended up ordering dinner so you didn’t have to move. It all felt perfect in your eyes but in alexia’s it wasn’t. She felt uneasy like something was wrong and that she needed to go.

And go she did.

The next morning she was gone. Alexia putellas had gone again. When you woke up and the bed was empty and cold except for the ball of fluff at the end of the bed that occasionally made a noise when you moved her to fast, you and nala were alone again. After getting up and looking around the apartment for her you called mapi. No answer. You called ingrid. Twice. The second time she answered asking if you knew how early it was. “ Ingrid she’s gone again. Ale.. she’s gone again.” Silence. That’s all you heard from ingrid she was silent, probably trying to process it.

“Maps. Mapi. Maria. get up.” You wanted to laugh hearing the struggle of waking the Spaniard up. But you couldn’t help starting to cry. Wishing it was you and alexia, struggling to wake her up in time for training. It wasn’t. “We’re on the way y/n. Just wait where u are. We’re coming” she ended the call. And you broke down crying. If there was one thing you knew it was that people in the shows you watched with mapi that said about missing loved ones, they severely underestimated how much pain it can cause.

They came over as soon as they could get there and made sure u were ok before coming up with any ideas. You sat on the couch cuddled into Ingrid trying to think of all the possible places she would have gone. It took a little bit but you all had some ideas and started going to different places trying to find her.

After a few places when you were all stood in the middle of the beach mapi looked at the ocean “has anyone thought maybe she went to a football pitch” both you and Ingrid look at mapi “I remember that when we were younger and she needed time for herself she played football cause she said it was relaxing for her” with that you all got up and went to the training grounds.

The walk in was quiet. No one was there and then as you rounded to corner to the pitches u saw the lights “its ale she’s here” soft whispers coming from Ingrid not wanting to cause her to run again. You all made your way to the pitch that alexia was on, standing for a minute watching her take shot after shot at the goal. Mapi took it upon herself to join alexia. You and Ingrid hanging back to allow them to talk for a minute while they passed the ball to each other.

You watch as mapi and Alecia talk about everything that’s been bothering her and why she keeps running away. “I feel like I’m holding her back, I’m trying to help. I didn’t mean to cause any problems mapi. You know I struggle talking so I shut down and go away. I hate it but I can’t help it” you start tearing up hearing how alexia feels. You and Ingrid walk over slowly when mapi hugs alexia and tells her ur here.

“Ale, love. Ur not holding me back, I’m sorry u feel like that. I’m always here for u. There’s nothing to worry about.” There’s tears in her eyes. Knowing alexia she doesn’t show her emotions too much so this was something you didn’t see often. “I love you ale. There’s nothing about you I don’t love, it’s always gonna be you” she was all yours and u just have to make her know she’s special to you.

“You don’t have to go home straight away and even if you do there’s always a spare room one of you can sleep in” Ingrid reminded both of you as you hugged each other. “I’m sure there’s a very excited puppy at home waiting for both her mamas” alexia looked up at Ingrid “nala. She’s home alone how stupid of me for leaving my baby” everyone looked at alexia.

“Let’s go see your baby ale” she took you hand and kissed the side of your head “I’m sorry love. I got scared” everyone smiles. “It’s ok I know amore”

With that said you all went home. Ingrid and mapi came to yours and stayed the night to make sure everything was ok. You fell asleep in each others arms with nala on alexia’s lap.

Your little family. You, alexia and nala. With the added bonus of mapi and Ingrid. It was perfect for you all

———————————————————————

If anyone wants a part 3 just let me know. Sorry for the delay, I lost track of time and forgot to write. Lucy x reader will be out hopefully by the weekend or early next week.

[applejuicefruit]

do you write angst? in case can i ask for some angst with kylian where reader is his girlfriend but he’s having another relationship with a model because of pr and reader feels like she’s not good enough because she always has to hide and she can’t go in public with him and she gets tired of it so they break up ? like some toxic kylian who cares more about his career and then realises how stupid he was but it’s too late? thank uuu

in my lana del rey moment

kylian mbappe x reader

The other woman

“Do you really have to go?” you asked him as you were watching him getting ready in your master bedroom.

Kylian was invited to some kind of football event and, of course, he was attending it with his fake girlfriend instead of bringing you. You knew how it worked but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Yes mon amour…I have to go” he said not even looking at you while he was wearing his black leather jacket.

“But with her?”

“Y/n…we’ve been here a lot of times…I don’t wanna fight tonight” he said turning his head over you.

You hated it.

You and Kylian have been dating for over a year now and even if all of your family and friends knew about your relationship, the public eye didn’t know. At first, it was you who asked him to keep your relationship private because you were terrified of how the media would portrait you and a couple of months later his manager agreed on faking a relationship for Kylian just to help a new model rise.

A lot of Kylian fans knew that this relationship was fake, they saw how Kylian faked being happy around her, they even suspected he was in a relationship with someone else and that made you feel a little bit better.

But it was the constant fake kissing or holding hands in public that made you feel uncomfortable and jealous, only because she was able to do something you couldn’t.

You talked about it with Kylian and no matter how many times he reassured you, saying you were the one he was coming home to, the only one who had his heart and the only one who made his heart beat, you always felt inferior when he was with her.

“I don’t wanna fight too Kyky…but it’s just, what if the roles were inverted? What if I was the one dating someone else just for stunt! Wouldn’t you be jealous?” you asked him.

“Of course I would be jealous mon amour…but it’s not about you, we both agreed on keeping this relationship between us, what’s changing now?” he asked sitting on the bed next to you.

“The fact that we’ve been dating for a year now and never once you took me out of this four walls? The fact that you spent valentine’s day with her this year just because your manager told you so? When I was here waiting for you to come back home but I haven’t seen you until the morning after? It feels like I’m the only one in this relationship Kylian and its tiring” you said completely breaking down.

“Let’s not start this now…I really have to go, we’ll talk about it when I come back home okay?” he said kissing your forehead.

“You’re not even listening to me Kylian!” you screamed, so mad at the fact that you just gave him your heart, talked about your emotions and what was scaring you and he simply shoved you off because - apparently - this football even was more important than you.

“I said not now y/n…” he tried to keep it low but he was getting irritated.

“If not now, when?” you asked, not even caring if you were a sobbing mess.

“I’m running late…when I come back home we’re gonna talk about it okay!” he shouted at you.

“When you’ll come back home I’ll be somewhere else Kylian…” you warned him but he simply scoffed, not believing a word you were saying.

“I’ll be back in a few hours” he said closing the door behind him and leaving the apartment.

That gave you two or three hours to pack everything you had in his apartment and leave.

You had no time to cry or throw a tantrum even if all you wanted to do right now was sitting in your shower and let the water wash away all the stress and pain you were feeling.

You opened your spotify and put some good old Lana Del Rey songs and started packing your clothes in the suitcase you kept under your bed.

The moment your heard “The other woman” starting on your playlist your heart missed a few beats. You’ve never understood the lyrics of the song until now, until now that you were the other woman even if she was supposed to be the other woman.

But you remembered your mom’s words - “if a man makes you cry not tears of joy then, that man doesn’t deserve you at all”. Was this your case?

You’ve always been happy with Kylian but everything started going downhill a few months ago.

Once you finished packing your clothes you called a taxi and waited for it to arrive. You had no idea where you were going to stay but you wanted to leave that apartment all for once.

You decided to stay in some hotel for the night and then calling a friend of you in the morning, seeing if she could host you for a few days until you decided what to do.

Kylian came home around 2 am and he was greeted with silence.

He thought that maybe you were sleeping but when he saw the bed that was made and the closet half empty he knew you weren’t kidding when you said you were leaving.

“Where are you baby?” he texted you.

“Y/n please answer me I’m worried” he texted a few minutes after.

“I’m worried baby please come back home” he texted again.

Truth was that he was mad at himself for completely ignoring you and made you feel like your feelings didn’t matter. He knew he messed up badly when you started crying earlier, he knew he shouldn’t have left when you were feeling bad, he knew he acted as a complete dick when he put his career and that stupid football event over your emotions and now he was paying the consequences of his own actions.

“I’m fine but stop texting me, I need time” you texted him back.

“Time for what?”

“Y/n?”

“Baby answer me please, I’m so sorry”

“Okay I’ll give you space if you need it but please know how sorry I am, I never meant to make you cry or feel uncomfortable. Please believe me. I hope you’re safe, have a good night, I love you” he texted you and you left him on read.

You cried reading his last message, you knew Kylian was saying the truth but what hurt you the most was that he realised his love when it was too late.

[lains-reality]

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.”[source]

please give yourself the grace of forgetting, of being sad, of failing, of fearing. you are allowed to. all is Self. you are okay now and here.

allow yourself to look at the insecurities, shame, guilt and fears.

give yourself the chance to respond, not react.

let vanessa be. vanessa is just a person like anyone else. thinks they are born and will die. every vanessa, no matter how well off they are, is scared shitless. but you treat your vanessa so badly.

you hate it. you want it gone. you see the body and mind as a cage without a key. it hurts. you curse it and nothing changes. you try to convince it and nothing changes. you curse it more.

It is not a matter of enduring, it is a matter of you being so crude to Vanessa, and expecting so much of her when she has no power. Do you feel the same way about the homeless man on the street corner? Do you constantly chastise him in your head, blame him for his circumstances? Even if you are the kind of person to judge based on appearances, you do for a moment and move on with your life. That's because you never thought he was you so how could you feel pain on his behalf? You may do the opposite and feel bad for his situation for a bit, but you still leave the matter alone as he's none of your business and you have your own things to worry about. - post source

vanessa is doing the best it can. it sings, dances, loves! it bleeds, it shudders, it hurts. all is the wide expression of Self.

and yet you hide from the pain, from the hurt, from the thoughts, the feelings. this is not the fullness of Self.

forgive yourself. let go of the shame and guilt. stop shaming vanessa for exsiting just like any other person in the street. stop carrying all responsibilities of the world. it's already taken care of.

you breathe with no help, you shit with no help, you eat with no help, you sleep with no help. and even if you do need help, the inability to do so, happens without your help. your amazon package comes through, your sibling grows 2 cm, the sun rises and falls, the seasons pass by. all by itself. what's orchestrating it all? Self. what other reason have we given ourself the world, other than out of love?

Leave poor Vanessa alone and stop assigning her the responsibility and accountability of everything that the dream shows. The entire dream is all an expression of the Infinite Being, not hers (the ego) which she is just one more creation of. And it doesn't have to be your (the Self's/I AM's) dream anymore when you stop identifying with it. - post source

its already out of vanessa's hands. vanessa can't do anything. let that be a celebration: all is taken care of. unconditonally.

"why is it all taken care of?"

"why not!"

"but why should *i* get the world?"

"why not?"

"but-"

its already all here for you. its already as it is. what is vanessa gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?

Treat it with compassion, stop bullying it, it's not its fault you're not where you should be. You think he's in the way so you get mad, you get frustrated it's not following instructions or refuses to step aside. But the ego is not the problem, nor in the way. Your attitude toward it is the problem. Let it be, it doesn't know any better! - post source

give yourself the permission to exist as you are. give yourself permission to be as you are, right now. start asking 'did i give permission for this?' you'll find how much stuff is not even your choice. as ada said its just tolerance and endurance of the forced vanessa.

now you realise you don't have to be a forced vanessa. so you go completely the other direction and try to (forcefully) change the vanessa. you're still holding up standards, ideas & roles to yourself. the things that made you hate vanessa in the first place. just maybe, for this moment hold nothing. drop the knife.

“Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself, even awaken yourself. Let go of letting go. Stop trying to fast-forward the movie of your life. It gets so exhausting, doesn’t it, always trying to get there, chasing futures that never seem to arrive, living on second-hand promises. Instead, bow deeply to yourself as you actually are. Be here. Honour this present scene in the movie. Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your deepest longings, your fearful thoughts, are not mistakes, and they aren’t asking to be healed. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving arms of present awareness…” — Jeff Foster

[normal-internet-user]

Hello! Can I plz ask for the ROTTMNT brothers (separately) react to their s/o being cute and innocent? Like they love watching animated movies, become a blushing mess if there's a kissing scene or in real life, love to draw, cook/bake, and dance, also are curious about everything. Oh, and they don't understand dirty jokes and if someone curses they put a hand over their mouth and look flabbergasted. They also are shorter than them and have small hands.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO CUTE I'M CRYING!!

RISE BOY'S WITH AN INNOCENT S/O

Mikey:

Oh mi gosh,

You two are the most wholesome couple this side of anywhere.

Literally two peas in a pod.

Disney movies every movie night,

You bake together,

You draw together,

And he loves watching you dance around.

One of your favorite things to do is to walk around the city at night,

Just to see what you'll find.

He loves how easily flustered you are,

He thinks it's just the cutest!

Mikey thinks it's hilarious how shocked you get when someone swears.

You'd think someone just killed your grandmother!

The first time it happened is a treasured memory for the whole family.

Leo had fallen off his skateboard and smacked his face on the ground.

"Shit!"

*Le gasp* "Language! Oh my gosh!"

Everyone just kinda looked at you then started laughing.

Mikey loves how much shorter than him you are.

I mean sure, it's only a few inches,

But he likes to rest his head ontop of your's.

Leo loves to make "That's what she said" jokes around you,

Mikey hates it,

He's scared you'll lose your innocence.

But everytime Leo goes, "That's what she said!"

You'll just look at him and say, "That's what who said? Who is 'She'? And why won't anyone tell me for gosh sake??"

"I'll tell you when you're older Cutie Pie."

You and Mikey are literally the sweetest couple, like, ever!

Donnie:

He finds your innocence impressive.

With the excistence of the internet,

He assumed there were no innocent teenagers left.

But you are on a whole new level of innocent.

And he thinks it's adorable.

Donnie does his best to shield you from Leo's jokes,

Because he is not about to let you be ruined by his brothers' crude sense of humor.

So imagine his surprise when you come ask him what one of these jokes mean.

He looks at you,

Then sighs,

You look at him confused as he stands up and grabs his tech bo

"NARDO!"

*Que screaches of fear*

Donnie loves that you dance too.

You guys have small disco parties every Saturday night.

He also loves how naturally curious you are,

Because it usually leads to him answering your endless questions about a ceratain topic.

But he doesn't mind.

He likes it when you ask him questions.

He also thinks its adorable how easily you get flustered.

Especially when it's over something as little as a movie scene.

He will tease you,

Just to fluster you even more.

And holy truffle mac & cheese,

You're so small!!

He has a habbit of resting his elbow on your head.

Kinda like how he leans on his tech bo.

You'll usually wave him off, and grab his hand instead.

Raph:

Raph loves your innocent nature.

It just plays into how sweet you are,

And Raph loves him some sugar.

He's more than happy to participate in your hobbies,

Especially if it means you're trying to teach him something new.

You just look so cute when you're concetrating!

Like Donnie,

He does his best to keep you from Leo's awful jokes,

And like you,

He isn't very fond of swearing.

He'll act just as flabberghasted as you if one of his brothers were to swear.

Like, ExCuSE mE??

WaTcH YoUr MouTh YoUnG MaN!

Now when it comes to how much smaller you are than him,

It really depends on the day for how he feels about it.

On the one hand,

You are so tiny and adorable and he could just hug you for hours like holy crap.

Then on the other hand,

He is terrified he'll hurt you.

Human skin is just so friggin fragile,

And he doesn't want to be the reason you're in pain.

Just make sure your sweet self reassures him,

He'll get over it pretty quick with your help.

Leo:

Oh my god, this boy teases you endlessly.

His favorite thing ever is to make you all flustered and stuff.

Whenever you two watch movies together he'll always pick some cheesy romance flick,

Just so he can watch you hide your face in your shirt whenever something romantic happens.

Leo loves baking with you.

Even if he's only allowed to watch.

(He set the kitchen on fire the last time he tried to actually help and in turn was perma banned from cooking.)

He likes trying all the sweet treats you bake up for everyone.

He also enjoys making jokes he knows you won't understand,

Because you look so cute when you're confused,

Your face gets all scrunched up while you try to figure out the joke,

And to him it's the cutest thing in the world.

Leo likes it when you freak out over swearing,

He thinks its funny.

You'll fan yourself with your hand all taken aback.

And your voice goes up an octave when you adress it,

"PARdon me?"

"I said fuck, (Name)."

"LANGUAGE!"

*Wheeze*

............................................

[yuseirra]

I went out for a walk and it helped me organize my thoughts, let me be bold about my theories/assumptions because I CAN and it's a now or never thing till it's proven wrong. But when I write these, I am confident to a degree. I get worried later, but I feel sure when I write them.

I believe Kamiki lied to Aqua to save him the pain of feeling sorry for him, the way Ai was very harsh when she left him.

Also, I believe Ai picked the right guy to love. This guy has a really tender soul. Or at least used to be, I think. He's very gentle in nature. Uh huh, he'd have been really good with their kids if he had the chance to raise them, him and Ai would have made a sweet family the way Ai pictured it to be. This guy's polite and sweet. Let me explain, okay?

I looked back at those segments in 154 when there's a flashback of Ai leaving Kamiki and Kamiki talking about Ryosuke, and the way things are laid out looks really similar to each other. I'd say it actually looks like parallels to each other. The sides of their faces appearing(and we don't see their eyes) and then their backs turned at the viewer. When expressions are concealed like these, you can't read what the characters are actually feeling. And this comic has really powerful expressions that are very on point and let the reader "understand" and feel what the characters are going through.

that entire page where Kamiki talks to Aqua about having wanted to scare Ai? I think 80% of it would be all lies. The only part that I believe is the actual truth would be that he did give Ryosuke the address and he didn't know that he'd kill her, but that's probably something that's slipped out by mistake. The explanation he brings up for having done such an action is utterly ridiculous and dumb. There are so many ways to "make someone despair", and needless to mention that it's so wrong and terrible to do, its also not something that's guaranteed to work, nor is it practical in the first place. It's an action that has really low probability to achieve the said desirable effect. That's why I keep making speculations about this, it does not make sense. I bet most of the fandom would have felt the same way about what he's said as well, saying stuff like: "How could he have never seen it coming?" Yeah, right?? I think he isn't responsible for this happening to begin with. Any person with a sane mind would feel this way, and he doesn't seem that insane. I think Nino could be irrational to some extent but not this guy!!! That's why I'm convinced that it wasn't this guy who could have done this, but Nino after she's been thrown into the picture.

Kamiki would know what he's saying doesn't make quite a lot of sense himself. He's a fully-grown adult!! Over 30 now, and he should know enough to realize what he's talking about. He's just trying to push through because he's been used to lying for other people's behalf and he's pretty confident that he can fool people, the way he used to be ever since he was so little.

What he's saying is just a flat-out lie to save his son from feeling the slightest amount of guilt for having to socially kill his own dad. I think so. Him and Ai are a liar couple. Ai lied and made it really harsh, I think, in order to save her boyfriend from feeling too terrible about the breakup, she wanted him to hate her for it and move on from her quickly and save himself. What Kamiki's doing here's similar. He doesn't want someone he cares about (he does care about his children btw, gonna discuss about this later) to have any remorse or concern over him. He'd feel better if his children just plain wants him dead, that's his way of loving them, the way Ai was for him.

Aqua's reaction towards Kamiki's ridiculous claim is so blank and unmoved, he should have been ANGRY, grabbed him by the collar, scold him, make inquiries, but Aqua just moves on to ask if Kamiki believed Ai's words. And then we see Kamiki's face with eyes, in acceptance, saying he did, continuing to say "everything Ai's said is the norm." That's a totally different approach to the claims he's made earlier, it contradicts it, because just a second ago he claims he wanted to have Ai feel the same despair as him and scare her for having claimed she can't love him, but then, he says what she's said (the fact that she can't love him) is understandable and right. Those two reactions, I believe, can't be simultaneously established at the same time. What he says later is how he truly feels about the situation. He just plain accepted that he was never loved. It wasn't something so surprising for him.

I said this in another post yesterday but he's as much as a liar as Ai is, they both constantly smile to pretend they're all right.

That smile he floats is consistent through the entire time he's shown in the story and the only times it breaks is when it has to do with Ai and when she sees him through. And it starts to break the moment he sees her talking about him. Every expression he makes when he sees Ai in the video are his true feelings. His smiles, on the other hand, are his coping mechanism and are all masks.

If you see his behavior patterns, Kamiki smiles when he's in distress, that's his way of coping when something he can't fully comprehend happens. He cries as he smiles as he seeked for Ai's help in a flashback in 153, and he tries to float a smile when Ai says she's going to leave him. And the way he responds to these tough situations, when he faces them, are... soft. He tries to calm himself down and inquires Ai "Why.. is that so?" and his reactions after that too.. are very far from aggressive. He was always far from being so during the times we actually see him do things.

I don't know how his way of speech is in Japanese, but I have a feeling he'd be the type that speaks in a very polite way. When him and Ai meet for the first time, I think he used honorifics to her and attached a -san to her name? He was pretty polite when he talks to Yura, too, and I mentioned this once but he EVEN ADDS A -KUN AND -SAN TO TRASH LIKE RYOSUKE AND AN ABUSER LIKE AIRI. The guy killed the love of his life and the woman.. I don't even want to bring up what she did to him, he has all the right to show signs of bitter hatred towards them, but.. he doesn't... This attitude of his is also consistent of how he was as a child. As a little boy, he was mistreated but he tried to endure it thinking 'but they're happy'. I don't think that part about him has changed so much. He finds it really hard to hate on people, even when it can be justified. That's why, I don't think he would have harnessed any hatred towards Ai. He didn't even do that to Ryosuke and Airi!!! They're terrible people!!! If he can't do that to those scumbags of individuals, would he to Ai?? Would he?? There are people who are selfish and are strong towards the weak and weak towards the strong but I don't think that would apply to his case. Nope, I don't think Kamiki originally has it in him to harm ANYONE at all.

I wholeheartedly see why Ai really wanted to protect him. He's just so.. vulnerable and maybe even too kind for his own good. Ai has a lot of protective instinct and she's really caring towards others in the ways she could. Seeing a guy like this.. would have really made her wish 'oh, I really want to help him.' AND that's exactly what she does!!! She's even left a message to her kids about this!! Help this guy with me, she says.

Continuing on with the polite and kind bit, this characteristic of him is ACTUALLY THERE in his interactions with his children. He didn't get to be with them, but I think he was happy he got a chance to approach and talk to them, he probably wants to give them their mother back with everything he's got from what I'm guessing. I think he may have just wanted to pet Ruby's head that one time his eye sparkled white and smiled. He could have been a proud dad, he praises his kids every time he meets them, says they're pretty, they made a good movie, congratulates them, says they shine. He understands Aqua's character and pays attention to Ruby when her career soars.

It's similar to how Ai was really proud of her children and wanted to spend more time with them but couldn't. I feel they would have been loving parents if they had raised their children together. It's just as how Ai's pictured it. She knows what kind of guy her boyfriend is. She's the person who'd understand him the most out of anyone, ever in the world and she wanted to be with him while being aware of it. He says he is willing to give his life for her, he STATES that as a quote. So, she did find someone who's pretty good! The guy had sweet nature, is good with kids, also had good looks(she had to mention that as she left lol.. that too is also what hurt him though, she knew exactly which strings to pull to render him speechless), doesn't have that much aggressive tendencies, is polite, a good actor, shares a similar past and could relate really well to her,

he did suffer a lot and that made him a bit insecure but he genuinely loved her and she did too, and if things brightened up a bit.. if he could have been lifted of those burdens he had..they really could have had a future together. The important thing here is that HE is the one she wants. Ai is very serious about love, and she's intelligent, I feel. She figures what's good for her and she gets what she wants. And she wanted to be with him. I don't think her being with him would be concluded as a mistake. There's been so many horrible things that were thrown to the both of them but, they were both essentially good people who found each other and wanted to love. I want the story to end with that sentiment. The more I try to analyze the guy, I feel he may not been that bad... he actually seems to be a pretty tender person inside. If only they could have been happy... idk how, but maybe they can still, you know? Because as they say in the first chapter, this story is fiction, but most fiction has a happy ending. Also, what I could infer from the movie arc when that was brought up again was that "love" isn't fiction. It's something very real that can't be brushed off as fake. Kamiki knows Ai's always loved him now, and he'll try to do something from his end. Love goes both ways and theirs will too, in the very end.

[selineram3421]

An Ansgty fic about Platonic!Angel Dust with a 13 y/o fem!reader that has very bad trust issues but they somehow manage to form a strong big bro <--> lil sis bond??? Maybe he comes back to the hotel all bruised up thanks to Valentino (ugh, how I hate that man 👌👁👄👁) and when reader tries to help him he snaps due to the stress of the situation and yells at her/throws something her way and now the reader is scared that Angel might hurt her, so he reaches out slowly trying to make it up for his error but the reader flinches away from him, running stairs down to lock herself in her room and to not came out for 1 week only letting Charlie and Nifty enter her room??

I agree, Valentino is literal garbage.

You Ok?

Angel and Child (T) Fem Reader

Platonic Oneshot

Warning! ⚠

⚠ using she/they for reader, trust issues, trauma/ptsd, Valentino being a piece of shit, injuries-blood/bruising, yelling/throwing things, mentions of murder, hurt/comfort ⚠

~

"I'm gonna head to work.", Angel says, picking up his bag with work items and putting on his jacket.

"Ok.", you nod, carrying Fat Nuggets.

"If ya go out, make sure you ain't followed. Keep an eye on your surroundings, be sure ta take your phone and a weapon.", your older brother says and pats the top of your head.

You nod again with a smile.

"Good. You have my number and the hotel staff is around, 'kay? Make sure ta tell 'em somethin' if some guest is being an asshole to you.", he says and kisses Fat Nuggets on the top of their head. "There's a twenty in my vanity drawer, bye!"

Once he leaves, you and Fat Nuggets look at each other.

"Wanna raid the candy pantry?", you ask, earning an oink in return. "I didn't hear a no!"

Putting the pig down, you go out of Angel's hotel room and close the door behind you two.

"Ok, on three.", you get ready to run. "One, two.."

The pink little pig also readies himself.

"Three!", you shout.

Both of you race down the hall.

.

"What did I say Angel baby?"

The spider demon backed up till he hit a wall, having no where to run. Valentino steps closer, placing a hand on his employee's cheek.

"I told you not to talk when dancing. You know how much costumers like quiet pretty things.", the moth demon coos softly.

Its a false sense of security.

The soft touch turns into a violent one when Valentino clutches onto the spider's jaw tightly.

"Ack!", Angel gasps and tries to push the demon's hand away.

"Let's teach you again, yes?"

🕸

Hours have passed.

You and Fat Nuggets lay on the lobby couches, bored out of your minds.

There was not much to do.

You were sitting at the bar with your pig companion, playing find the broken glass. But Husk quickly told you to beat it and that he didn't want to deal with anyone today.

"He deals with random demons all the time! Dang cat works at the bar for Satan's sake!", you huff.

"Oink oink", Fat Nuggets snorts.

"Yeah, yeah. I know.", you reply and turn to lay on your side. "Charlie is doing whatever, Vaggie is with her, Niffty is..somewhere, and the red guy doesn't like being around me or Angel.", you list of with a groan. "And Pentious is annoying."

The pig rolls onto his stomach and sniffs at you with little snorts.

"I just wish there was more fun around here. I can't really do anything.", you mumble.

The sound of the lobby doors opening catches your attention, making you sit up from the couch and look to see who walked in.

Its your brother, covered in bruises and blood. He wears a pained grimace as he limps into the lobby.

"Angel!", you shout, rolling off the couch and run up to him. "Are you ok? What happened? Oh god, your eye is swelling. Let's get you some ice and-", you reach out to him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!", he snaps, hitting you away with his bag and letting it go.

The bag slams into the wall and falls to the floor, the room becoming deadly silent.

.

Angel just got back from work and everything hurt. Valentino kicked him out for the day since the bruises wouldn't look too attractive to costumers.

All he saw was red but his other senses were on high. So the spider demon reacted on instinct when there was a loud voice and a hand coming toward him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

He knows the bag hit someone before flying to the wall. When he takes a second to calm down and looks at the small demon backing up, he realizes who it was.

"Oh shit-", Angel gasps, letting your name slip out with guilt. "Kid, I didn't mean to-", he moves forward with a hand lifting up towards her.

She flinches back clutching their arm, shivering in fear as tears roll down their cheeks.

"Don't touch me!", she manages to get out before running off.

"Wait, kid!", he tries to go after them but hisses at the pain coming from his leg.

Stumbling over to the wall, Angel leans against it and slowly lowers himself onto the floor. The spider demon doesn't notice he's crying until Fat Nuggets comes up to him to lick off the tears that have fallen on his hands.

"I'm sorry.", he whispers before closing his eyes tightly and sobbing, covering his face with two of his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!", his other set of arms wrap around his legs as he balls himself up before whimpering out another apology.

🕸

You locked yourself up in your hotel room and the little door for Fat Nuggets. Not wanting to risk it, you also angled a chair under the doorknob. Just the thought of Angel kicking down your door and beating you was terrifying.

Not again. I don't want that to happen again. You think of how your living life was and close your eyes. They're dead! I killed them twice! They're gone!

There was some comfort from holding the pillow and burying your face into it. All you wanted to do was stay hidden away until he forgot about you.

A knock on the door made you jump.

"Hey, you ok in there?", the voice of the princess comes through. "I brought dinner."

You slowly get off the bed and quietly make your way over to the door. Taking a peak through the gap on the bottom of the door and feeling the vibrations on the floor, you confirm that its only her outside.

Upon the door opening slowly, Charlie smiles at you in relief.

"Alastor made your favorite.", the blonde says.

"Thanks Ch-Charlie.", you stutter and quickly take the plate, widening the door gap for a second to bring the food inside, closing the door and locking it.

"Oh. I wanted to talk, is that ok?", she asks.

"I don't really want to go out and talk right now.", you say, moving the chair back.

"How about just talking like this? You don't have to leave your room or open the door.", the princess offers. "I just want to make sure you're ok."

"I'm..ok.", you say, rubbing your arm.

"Mentally?", she asks.

You stay quiet for a few seconds.

"Is anyone mentally ok in Hell?", you answer her question with a question.

She sighs and you hear her shift outside the door. You sit down, leaning your back against the wall and pick at your food.

"That is a really good question.", Charlie says. "However the answer is obvious."

You eat a bit of the food.

"Can you tell me what happened?", she asks after a bit.

"Angel-", you take in a deep breath before continuing. "Angel came back from work all beat up. I was worried a-and reached out to him but then he..", you take another breath, feeling your chest ache at the memory. "He hit me with his bag."

Your curl up into a ball and hug yourself.

"Is he ok?", you ask in a whisper.

"Vaggie took care of him, he's ok.", she says.

"That's good.", you hiccup, hugging yourself tighter.

"I'll come back in the morning, or I'll send Niftty to check up on you, ok?", Charlie says.

You can hear shifting outside. She probably sat on the floor too.

"Thank you for telling me. That took a lot of courage.", she says before saying goodnight and leaving.

.

Angel skipped work.

He didn't want to go back, and he also needed to apologize to you. Problem was that you didn't leave your hotel room for almost a whole week, only opening the door for Niffty or Charlie. The princess suggested that they'd do a therapy session, but he didn't want to do that. It would make it seem forced and he wanted his sister to know that he was not forced to apologize.

So on the seventh day of her being locked up in her room, he got all of their favorite snacks and went over.

Angel knocked on their door, but she didn't answer. "Hey, I got you some snacks.", the spider demon says.

Nothing.

"You ok kid? You've been in your room for a week now. Everyone's been worried. Heck, even Husk!", he waits for a response, but still doesn't get one.

Sighing, he goes to sit down and leans his back against the door, placing the snacks next to him.

"I should'a came by and said this earlier but I'm sorry.", he says and looks down at the floor. "I didn't mean to hit you, I reacted on instinct. It..", he bites his lip before continuing. "It was a trauma response. I heard you being loud and when you tried to touch me I freaked out."

He looks up and covers his eyes with one of his arms, trying not to cry.

"I just want you ta know that I'd never hurt you on purpose. And-", he sniffs and starts wiping the tears that start falling. "What I did wasn't ok and I understand if you don't trust or forgive me, I understand if you hate me now and never want to speak or see me again.", the mascara he had put on earlier was now ruined. "I just want you to know its ok. All I want is for you to be safe. I'll be happy with just knowing that you're ok."

Suddenly he falls back, before he can hit the ground, he's engulfed into a hug from behind. The spider demon feels her hold onto him tighter and also as she leans her head against his back.

"You're ok, right?", they mumble. "You're not hurt anymore?"

"I'm ok.", he confirms, moving an arm back to pat the top of her head. "Are you ok? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

His sister nods and sniffles.

"C'mon. Sibling cuddle therapy.", he says before moving them into a proper hug, letting her rest their head on his chest. "Let's watch movies and get sugar high, we can even do some pranks on the girls.", he lists off, petting their head with one hand and rubbing their back with another as the other set of arms just holds them.

"Mhm.", she hums in agreement.

"Ok, I'ma pick ya up now. 'kay?", he says and lifts them up after they nod, making sure to grab the snacks as well.

He carries them over to his room.

"Fat Nuggets misses ya.", he said before opening the door.

"I missed him too.", his sister replied. "I missed you."

"I missed you too kid."

~

Charlie and Vaggie saw the whole thing on the security cameras.

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

@ducky-died-inside @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb

ML for Angel Dust🕸

[multifandombullshitbabes]

21

24

27

And

30

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thank you so much, I shall answer these prompts NEOW

21: Fics you wish you could find more of?

Oooohhh more fics involving Gwen, that's for sure. When she's written right she's one of the strongest, most relatable characters imo, 'cause all she wants is for the world to be right and just and kind and everything wants to prove her wrong, but she won't back down from her views. I would also adore more Elyan, just in general. And complete rewrites of the show 'cause the one I'm reading right now is so good I might do one as well. Also modern au's where they're all like secret badass spies or smth, 'cause those are so fucking cool (i am accepting fic recs for ALL of this, please feed me y'all)

24: Everyone knows that fandom doesn’t like uther but what are your feelings about gaius?

I think 1) we need more concrete info about how he was when he was younger, but 2) i think he is severely complicated and wanted what was best of merlin and morgana, but failed the two while also giving them a ton of love. With morgana, he just didnt want her to pursue her power lest she become uther's next victim, cuz gaius cares for the pendragon siblings like his own. With merlin, he was just trying his best with his overpowered nephew, who alos has a destiny regarding his people's genocide's son, and he just doesn't know what to do half the time, kinda like merlin. I didnt like how he lied to merlin n morgana, how he gaslit her and how he made merlin hide and become so anxious abt his magic (and we see what that looks like season 5), but i get it. I really get it. I dont know what i wouldve done if one wrong move could mean the death of two kids he considers his own. I bet he was scared all the time and hated himself for it.

27: Modern Merlin headcanons, if any?

OH BOY. OHHHH BOY. So many. It really depends on what au i have for modern merlin, but I'll give you a few generals:

he's a teacher of sorts; i like the idea that he's kinda collecting magical anomalies and teaching them how to understand their powers and being, since he knows what its like to be afraid of urself, so he's a personal magic teacher. I also rly like my magic elementary school au, since its merlin teaching magic to a bunch of kids, which is adorable

he has officially one cat, a black one called Midnight, that accidentally became immortal along the way and now hes severally attached. I say officially since hes also friends with any other animal that he might come across and they recognise him if he passes them again. disney princess fr

he's figured out his gender and he can turn into a woman if he wants; she looks exactly like merlin, same height, same weight n muscles, the hair is longer cuz merlin likes it that way and her voice is deep and gorgeous

his favourite weapon is a staff or any long distance fighting weapon of the sort; also he looks cool as fuck fighting with it, but thats just a bonus

I'll stop here but i have SO MANY MORE

30: Side character death that makes you the maddest?

Elyan. There was, quite literally, no need for it. I was gonna say Lancelot, since we did not get enough of him, but his death made sense for his character. Elyan? What the fuck was that? It was just for pain and nothing else. What did it add to the story if not just a sad funeral scene and thats it? It just felt like they wanted him gone n found a way, and that pisses me off. I feel like him saving gwen and living would've given such a complex situation when she turns evil, 'cause what if she "confides" more n more in her brother, creating a rift between arthur n elyan, which then creates a rift between arthur n the knights, which would just isolate him further n make him suffer, which is what morgana wanted!! we couldve had protective brother elyan! I think i just wanted more knights in general.

Thank you so much for this ask, I yapped a fuck ton but it was funn

[10underoot2]

My take on the saddest scene in Queen of tears yet. This is the long version I'll post a shorter one for those who don't want read so much. I love this scene so much cause It always makes me feel so many emotions and I'm so scared years down the line I'll forget why I love it so much. So here's everything it makes me feel and what I think it makes these two feel as well.

We can't start this scene without context. It's set at the end of the day. It's the same day the audit report came out. The same day Haein went to the funeral of her employee. And the same day she met Hyunwoo for a brief while and obliterated him.

Haein To Hyunwoo: 'Why did you send the flowers? And the condolence money? Stop playing. You digust me. Even if I forget my memory down the road, I will never forget what you did to me. You let go of my hand when I was the most helpless. I will never forgive you. Try all you want but I will resent you till my dying breath. So all you need to do is stay still and get lost when I tell you to.'

Cut to the end of the day when she's almost home and Hyunwoo sees her in the rain.

First things first, notice how he immediately places the jacket despite hearing her say just a few hours ago that his really heartfelt gesture is insincere as she claimes to hate him. Hyun woo knows that anything he does now she'll think of it as a fake act and not genuine at all. Yet he really did not care. He said F that, I'm still gonna take care of you. [From this point on everything italicized is my commentary on their emotions/actings or just my thoughts]

HI: 'What about you? How did you know I was here?'

He hasn't caught on. He thinks its one of her moments where she's just came to and is offering him a tidbit just cause he's there. After their last conversation the tone, the question, the happiness to see him doesn't make sense to him.

HI: 'Did you maybe recognize this Umbrella? Do you remember giving it to me? I was really dumbfounded back then.'

An umbrella I don't think he's seen in 3 years or knows that she's held on to. The fact that she randomly caries it is ndjdjsjdj. Girl, literally just came back from dinner 😭. She carries the umbrella HE GAVE her 3 years ago when he told her he likes her. Gah this woman and her love.

HW: 'Hae ina...'

I think he's a little dumbdounded by her behaviour at this point. He's calling her cause something's off. He's catching the trace of that bubly, beautiful Hae in he fell in love with. Something he hasn't seen or experienced in 2 years. He's detecting the warmth and happiness of their collective past.

HI: 'Don't give me that look -

The look of worry and pain? The look of thousands of un-said emotions? Insert as many as you can here after looking at Hyunwoo cause imagine what she did see to ask him not to give her that sad look. It's a look she recognises having been married to him all these years. So she continues to reassure him;

'I can go to Germany and receive treatment.'

And here it clicks. Oh. She doesn't....... remember. But how - why is she still so kind to me? Surely she said she'd never forget that she....hates me. She's smiling at me now as if nothing in the world is wrong. Like this disease is nothing but a mere pebble in their way.

BW: 'Haeina.... '

He's so confused and dumbfounded. He can't comprehend or understand. It is this really happening? Maybe he just needs to call her and she'll come back to like she always does. Is it really that bad now? Why isn't she coming back to herself?

HI: 'Why do you keep calling me?'

He's hardly holding it together here and then she moves forward to touch him. Softy and gently pats his shoulder dry just like she probably used to. There couldn't be a surer sign that she cares. But that's not all she then wraps her hands around his holding the umbrella. Physical touch. He's forgotten the last time she was so unrestraint in her touch. Believing that he is indeed hers, like she had every right to touch him. Was it 3 years ago? Nothing could have prepared him for what comes next;

'Right you know, Ye-na right? She got into a car accident two days ago......[continued whole story]'

And I think this is what truly, utterly breaks his heart. He can't hold it in any longer.

Her sickness is at the forefront here. He's reliving a conversation with his wife he's had a few days ago. His meticulous, amazing, sharp CEO wife is repeating a conversation to a man she's sworn to hate.

The particulars of the conversation are ringing in his ear again. That's what he tried to do when this wife - who loved him so softly, loved him enough to hold onto an umbrella from 3 years ago, loved him enough to remember her love for him even when she's forgtting her memories - told him that she was going through a disease so terrible. And the worst part ... He wasn't there for her, he's made her think he hates her.

HI: 'Are you crying?'

HW: 'I'm sorry' It's all he can say. There's nothing else to say really. What excuse can he give. He's just filled with regret and so so sorry.

HI: 'What are you sorry about?' She says it so softly while touching him AGAIN. She's so oblivious to any fault of his in this moment. She asks him in a 'what have you ever done to be sorry about' tone.

She hugs and he truly lets go. Does he remember being hugged like this? Probably not. It's been 2 long years. Does he finally remember what made it all worth it?

HI: 'Are you really that worried?' He must be mentally wreaking himself. Yes I am this worried. But I can't show you just how much. Why wasn't I this worried before?

'Dont you worry.' How can he not?- this episode she's having is far from comforting and he knows this disease isn't getting any better at this point and he's running out of time so fast. So much is going through his head. But then she delivers the final blow in all her innocence;

'Baek Hyunwoo, I love you'

She love me....shes loves me? She loves me! She loves me. She. Loves. Me. She loved me...... All this time.

Doesn't it hurt so bad to forget, Hyunwoo?

HW: 'I wish this moment wouldn't end. I wish you'd continue to smile at me without knowing the truth.' [proceeds to bring her up to speed]. There are times when people completely forget things even if they're not sick. I was the same. I had forgotten it all.'

Favourite line. It backs everything I've written above because that's literally why he's been brawling his eyes out these past 2 Minutes. Also captures all his emotions and bad decisions so perfectly. He'd simply forgotten and that made all the difference.

When he tells her about the divorce here, isn't he essentially telling a Hae in so totally in love that he's divorcing her: somewhat exactly liek it happened in Germany. Doesn't her reaction make so much sense now for us and for Hyunwoo.

Also I think this is a big stretch but respect was a major reason in him telling her the truth and bringing her up to soeed about them but maybe another was that he couldn't bear her looking at him with so much love after all the bad decisions he had made.

When she refuses to believe him he says: 'Then try to remember what I did to you and how much you resented me.' It's physically painful for him to say it but I think it's also him trying to get her to find her will to live again. What he doesn't see is that he didn't need to. This scene is really screaming Haein's thoughts 'I love you and that's reason enough for me to fight to live' but I guess he really misses out on it in his grief.

Totally side note but he was such a bastard for what he said to her in Germany while trying to get her to live. It's literally so painful to watch especially as a flash back here.

The step back she takes after realizing and remembering. I wonder did she remember she told him I love you not a few moments ago? I think she does which is why she's even more embarrassed, hurt and angry.

HW: 'Haeina -'

HI: 'Stop I remember now. I remember how much you hate me and how miserable your life has become. It must have been entertaining to watch me not remember anything and spew nonsense.'

He's so confused here help. He can't help but betray his true feelings. He's desperate to have her not misunderstand but why he just made her remember her hatred for her.

HY: 'No, Haeina I wasn't -'

HI: 'I was miserable because of you too. It wasn't just you. I was miserable too. I can't spend the rest of my life next to you I want a divorce let's separate our ways.'

Do you think this was because she realised his malice towards her in this scene when she remembered back what he had said to her. Haein remembered everything - how he was miserable, how he was making her miserable despite her loving him - and just said enough. Time to let go for all our sakes. Time to end his suffering maybe he'll resent me less like this. Please notice her tears afterwards cause she's clearly in so much pain. She doesn't want divorce him because she indeed does still love him. Also Haein must be so confused cause he said he wanted to divorce me so why is he crying now?!

This is why this scene is the most heartbreaking scene for me in this series yet. It's so painful.

Also this scene is set in rain, has a beautiful transition from when he first asked her to marry him, and reminds me of the pride and prejudice confession scene as well. Enough reasons to like it I guess.

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

not metatron just casually handin out 30000 coins

b- bro. i. uh. ahshagsga. yes sir 🫡. anything fo u dokja kim.

hahahah

:((

DUMBASS. god i fucking hate him

AS SHE SHOULD THIS DUMBASS SUBJUGATED A KID TO THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF ISOLATION ALSO KNOWN AS THE WORST FORM OF MENTAL TORMENT AND FOR WHAT? SO HE COULD GET A LITTLE LUCKIER EARLIER ON? THAT MAN IS AN ASSHOLE AND THE WORST AND I HOPE HE DIES MULTIPLE GRUESOME DEATHS

NO NO DOKJA DONT JUST LET HIM DIE JUST LET HER KILL HIM

AFYZYSFAUSTJXKTCTISRUAQUFUG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH SHEEEET

ok the thing about this is up to this point theyve basically only referred to eachother using their full names, first+last but here joonghyuk only calls him dokja and it gives the vibes theyre close enough to refer to eachother like that so...he cares no denying you cant hide from my perceptiveness i can see everything

BROOOO HES TRYING TO HOLD HIM UP NOT LET HIM FALL OVER CUZ HES GONNA DIE AND DOKJAS JUST GRABBING ONTO HIS ARM AND ITS NOT INTENTIONAL ITS INSTINCT AND AHSHAHSGS SO MANY WORDS THEY DENY IT BUT THEY CARE AND DOKJA WAS PROBABLY DIGGING HIS NAILS INTO HIS ARM CUZ HE KINDA IS MISSING HIS ENTIRE LOWER TORSO AND EVEN WITH FOURTH WALL THATS GOTTA BE SO PAINFUL AND YJH JUST IS FINE WOTH IT AND DOESNT CARE AND HES WORRIED ABOUT HIM AND SNAJSJWJSJDBSI

bro he has a giant hole where his stomach should be

also i thought you hated and wanted to kill him

THIS JUST SHOWS HE CARED THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE HE KEPT TRYING TO KILL HIM BUT THE SECOND DOKJAS ACTUALLY GONNA DIE HES ALL LIKE NO NO NO NOT TOO LATE EVEN THOUGH DOKJA LEGIT DOESNT HAVE A LOWER TORSO AND THERES NO LOGICAL WAY FOR HIM TO SURVIVE BUT HES STILL IN DENIAL HED ONLY BE DENYING IF HE CARED AHAHAHAHHAHAHSBWHABSH

dude he looks so scared for him im gonna cry 😭😭😭😭. like hes looking him in the face with the most terror ive seen for him i cant wtfffff

no shit

never seen him so angry he even has the glowy main character eyes ✋

bro there aint no way he wasnt in love w dokja cuz he was perfectly fine with letting seolhwa die even tho he like dated her last regression and here he is only having spoken to kdj a few times and ready to fucking kill everything for him

YEA YEA UHUH HED PISSED CUZ YOU KILLED THE GUY HE WANTED TO BE HIS BF YEA YEA JOONGDOK CANNON THESE BITCHES GAY THEYRE ANNOYING AS ALL HELL AND THEYRE GAY

[mikichko]

Ghoap anon (I feel like I should use a different name but we will put a pin in that) - “all the best things i could have got. because i didn’t let the bees scare me away.”??!!!?!!? I literally had to stop reading to type this message. I’m spinning around in circles to catch my tail so I can hold something as I blink my tears away. He got his happy ending, despite the pain and the fear and the anxiety, and his life is just gonna keep getting better as Zach grows up and Reader enters into their lives, first as just finally someone to help his baby in the way he needs and then as another Angel sent lover to complete his home. Him thinking that his mom sent him Johnny to keep him going, Tommy sent Zach to remind him of the innocence of love and so Simon could have the experience of being a father that he never got to complete, and Beth sent you to round everything out and make sure all her boys are now taken care of (Joseph sent Clover because he thinks everyone should have a dog. In a year or two he’ll decide he wants to see what a baby is like and send one down to surprise Uncle Simon, Uncle Johnny, and Auntie Reader because he knows his cousin Zach is gonna be the best big brother).

Ghoap anon! My sweet little baby welcome back!! I'm so happy you're here :D

I am a sucker for happy endings. I had to make sure that Simon got his happy family ending. Like after everything he's been through, the violence he's endured he finally gets to rest, his own family that he was robbed of, and his own chance at happiness. I love that you see my vision for this Reader and how she helps round out this little family. Not to say that the Riley-Mactavish family isn't a whole on its own, there's a lot of love there. But our Reader is a love that all three boys didn't know they were missing until they found her.

I love that you brought up Simon's backstory because I think it weighs a lot on him. There's another mini piece where I talk about Simon's fear of becoming a father that's a peek into how his past still haunts him. But I absolutely love the way you think about them sending him something that he needs to experience because they've been watching him all this time. They know he's not been living a proper life but just, enduring. Because it's all he's ever really known.

I don't know if you believe this but they say that every time you see a butterfly it's a loved one that's passed on visiting you. I like to think that every moment before something good happens to Simon he sees a butterfly.

His mom's butterfly is a large white and he spots her out while sitting in Alexandra Park. He's more confused than anything when it lands on his knee, its white body stands out against the black of his pants. The cold's barely started to leave the air, flowers aren't even fully blooming yet and this little fragile thing is on his knee. It's looking at him, he thinks, the antennas facing him for a few moments before it turns and faces forward with him. A few minutes pass before the butterfly walks forward on his knee and then flies away. He meets Johnny a few days later when he's back on base.

Tommy is a peacock that interrupts them on a run around Rouken Ren Pond. (Simon wants it known that he hates that fucking pond because of the fact it's near two golf courses. But, Johnny always buys him a full English at the boathouse after the run so he sucks it up.) Tommy really fucks with him when he visits him. He flies right into his face, around him, and keeps pace with him for a good chunk of his run. It gets to the point where he has Johnny check if he has a flower on him to see why the fuck this butterfly keeps bugging him. Tommy's having a blast but also trying to let Simon AND Johnny know that they have good news on the way. They get the call about Zach.

Beth is a holly blue that greets Zachariah first out in the school garden. It's the first time he's seen this kind of butterfly so he calls for his Papa to get a picture. "Means someone from the past is visiting ye." Zach gasps and tries to get close but the wings startle him. His daddy ruffles his hair a little and smiles at the butterfly he swears has the same color of blue Beth loved to wear. It's only a few moments before they have to move on, it's the first school drop off of the year after all.

Joseph is a brimstone who quite literally brings Clover to Simon. He thinks its a fun meet cute! The poor pup thinks the butterfly is a leaf with a peculiar floating pattern. Joseph, a tricky little thing, times Clover's escape right as Simon happens to be walking past the shelter. Literally delivers her in his arms, the all black puppy now fully focused on licking every single new surface she sees. One of the volunteers rushes out and starts apologizing but all Simon asks is what the requirements are for adopting her.

[chimkin-samich]

Hello there! Hope you are having a wonderful day, evening or night!

I just have a quick question, how do the other animatronics and staff members (besides Tari) treat Sun, Moon & Eclipse?

Hello! Oh I really like this, we have so much world building even with the other character and staff ocs we created that we never get to share

Ima do a read more cuz I have a feeling this is gonna get long lol

Edit: I FORGOT TO POST THIS BUT ITS HERE NOW

Ok to start with the animatronics

Freddy: he’s obviously friendly with them, he’s FredDad so of course he is, he helps Sun and even Eclipse with their anxiousness, he even tries to coax Eclipse out with Tari at times but he won’t push, he tries to do check ins with all 3 of them even if Moon gets snarky with him, he cares about their well beings just as much as he cares for all the others

Chica: She might as well be Suns bestie, always coming to give him the latest gossip of the Plex or even a customer, he like to gossip about his own run in with Karen’s as well. Moon is also a friend of hers but it’s a love hate thing lol they like hanging out with each other as much as they enjoy fighting, sometime even Sun joins in with verbal play fights with Chica. Eclipse to her is a big baby and must be cherished as one, but if she can rile him up enough to get playful with her and snarky she will

Roxanne- Sun doesn’t really interact with her but he’s friendly, Roxanne acts indifferent but doesn’t mind his presence as long as he’s not hyperactive. Moon is a hit or miss, she either wants to strangle him or has no problem, it’s up to him how she feels lol, Eclipse she isn’t really sure how to feel, but she tries not to treat him any differently than she treats the others, considering the positive responses she gets shes just glad she doesn’t have to change to avoid an incident with him

Monty- Monty is wary of Sun, after having a violent episode towards him, he’s afraid of how Sun could possibly respond back if he missteps, he knows Sun isn’t stupid or naive and he’s rather not test his luck. Moon is a complete nuisance for him, the two are always fighting for any and everything even if there’s nothing to fight about they’ll find something to fight about, Eclipse scares him on the other hand, he brings the same unease that sun brings him but he’s scared because he knows he’s unstable and could lash out whenever especially if he sees Monty as a threat towards Tari, he tries to keep his distance when he can

DJ and the minis- the minis and DJ like all three of them, tho the minis tend to gravitate towards Moon more due to them always hanging out in the vents looking for more tea or chaos, DJ enjoys Suns presence more mainly because he’s just as energetic as he is but he likes Moon just as much, The minis and DJ both enjoy Eclipse as well, him being unpredictable is a good thing for them, they never know what their gonna get and they enjoy the unknown of him

Vanessa- She’s just more exhausted than anything with them, she’s aware they have their issues but with all the complains she gets about them it doesnt really help her be as sympathetic as she’d like to be, Moon is just a pain for her but it’s easier once he prefers to stick around Tari, less complains from staff and paperwork of getting repairs done after another fight with Monty. With Sun she hardly interacts since she really doesn’t go in the daycare but as long as she doesn’t get complains from staff she’s indifferent towards him, the same goes for Eclipse

[molarbeardoc]

So I just found out that it’s pretty a popular headcanon in the fandom that DrRETRO was placed in solitary confinement/a padded cell while being blindfolded and shit

So I’m gonna TRY and include that into the story the best I can

Erm yup! Any who!!!!! Forgive me if I mess something up, I did a bit of research on this before deciding to write (and while writing) so I hope this isn’t dogshit 💔💔

Anyway enjoy! Or don’t you do you idk

Everything had gone wrong.

Everything was overwhelming despite nothing being around.

She couldn’t see.

She couldn’t move.

She could barely speak without cold and sharp metal poking her mouth.

The silence was deafening. She could hear everything and nothing at the same time.

And it scared her…

Every few blind steps she took she was met with soft, padded wall.

She felt like a caged bird, desperate to spread her wings and fly only to be met with the bars of her small enclosure.

Her breathing grew laboured as she struggled to keep calm.

What had she done to deserve this? Why was she being punished like this? She followed the rules, did what she was supposed to, and yet she was still forced to endure this cruel fate.

She wanted to cry, to scream, to lash out, but that would only extend her time. She didn’t wanna spend any longer in this plushy hell, she refused to stay longer.

She hated it here. She was innocent! Why was she being punished for something she didn’t do?! She felt a twinge of frustration itch beneath her skin, her ears flattened as she let out a guttural growl whilst leaning against the wall.

She wanted revenge, to get back at those who lied about her. She wanted them to feel the same way she did.

But how could she?

She was the one trapped within a rubber cell. She was the one stuck in pillowy prison. She was the one who had been locked away…

An overwhelming wave of emotions washed over her, drowning her within its currents. Despair, frustration, sorrow, anger, all mixed into a depressing cocktail that she was forced to drink.

Before long she found herself crying silently, weeping as each breath became more irregular than the last. But there was at least one plus…

No one would be able to see her state of weakness… At least not yet…

DrRETRO let out a groggy meow as her alarm clock went off, jerking her from her painful nightmare into the real. Time to get up already?! She swore just went to bed! Then again, staying awake would probably be the best decision for now… But GOD that constant beeping was more annoying than Poob’s party horn. If it weren’t for the fact that they were so darn friendly, she would’ve definitely done something about that now.

The katball swatted the clock with her paw, sighing as it was finally silenced. If it was broken, she’ll suffer the consequences later, for now, she was too tired to deal with it.

Rolling out of bed, she trudged to her bathroom, physically and mentally preparing herself to get ready for the long day ahead of her. She could only assume what the others would get themselves into…

Once ready, she put on her coat and grabbed an energy bar for breakfast. She had no clue what time it was, but assumed she had no time to sit down and eat. Besides, she’ll probably stop by the RedBall Diner or somewhere for a proper meal in the afternoon. She carefully descended down the machine’s spiral before approaching the elevator, humming quietly as she pressed the button and opened her snack.

Before she could even get a bite in, the doors had opened revealing an overly curious robot who smiled politely at her.

"Woah! A giant cat! My sensors are telling me a lot about you!"

"…"

"Based off the information I have received from my database you are apart of a species known as Katballs correct? Oh! And you speak a language similar to that of regular domesticated felines!"

"Mrrow…" «Uh, yeah…»

"This is wonderful! BZZT! Ah! Pardon me, a large stone man taught me that it is considered impolite to engage in conversation before introducing oneself. My name is Prototype!"

"Meow…" «Hello… Prototype…»

"Hm, I can’t properly translate your message, perhaps, if you don’t mind, I could stay with you for the time being and learn it? Or maybe you could teach me as to avoid language barriers in the near future!"

The katball stared at him, he was sickeningly sweet and clearly eager to learn, she wasn’t sure she could deal with that right now, especially after going through that horrible nightmare. Just thinking of it made her fur rise.

"Is everything alright? I am detecting an elevated heart rate and body temperature. Was my request too strange? I apologize for intruding! I’m just so excited!"

"Meoww…" «No you’re fine. Ah wait, you can’t understand me… Oh well.»

She signalled to the robot that it was okay with her paws, nodding as she stepped into the elevator and sighed.

"Ah… So is that a yes..? Everything is alright?"

She nodded.

"Does this mean I can stay with you for now?"

She hesitated before reluctantly nodding.

"WONDERFUL-! Oh sorry! I did not mean to shout. I was also told that shouting is impolite!"

She already regretted her decision…

The two ascended together within the elevator, Retro eating her energy bar and Prototype watching her with intrigue.

"Is this what your species eat for nutrition?"

She shrugged.

"So it varies? That’s so interesting!"

While he was a bit more active than the others, she found their enthusiasm adorable in an annoying way.

"Does this imply katballs do not have the same carnivorous diet as domesticated felines? Would this not make you omnivorous?"

He asked a LOT of questions though…

Before she could properly answer, the elevator came to a stop, letting out its iconic ding as the doors opened, before she knew it, an exhausted lamp stepped onto the elevator along with his sickly friend.

"W04H! h3llo R3tR0!!! :D"

"Good morning…"

The doctor only gave the two a curt nod, she knew that Lampert would possibly try and pester her about Infected, per usual, but as she mentally prepared herself for his questions, Prototype had spoken up.

"Oh! Are you also a robot? You seem to be artificially made! Just like me!"

"What-"

"My scanners are so far confirming my theory as well!"

"Don’t do that.."

"Huh? May I be mistaken? Are you not artificially made?"

"I am, but I don’t appreciate being scanned. It’s weird to do that without at least asking first."

"So would it be considered… impolite?"

"Uh yeah I guess."

"It seems I have many things to learn about the mannerisms of this elevator and its riders. I apologize for my impoliteness. I should have asked."

"It’s fine. Anyway… DrRETRO-"

"Meoww." «If you’re asking what I think you’re asking, I already told you there’s nothing else I can do.»

"You didn’t even let me finish."

"Mrrw.." «You’re very predictable.»

"You’re rather growly today…"

Lampert was tempted to question her, but didn’t bother pushing his luck. There weren’t a lot of things he knew about Retro but he knew enough to know not to press her buttons. So instead, he sat quietly, listening as Prototype and Infected interacted with each other.

"s0 y0u’r3 l1k3… 4 r0b0t??? y0u’r3 n0t g0nn4 try 4nd t4k3 0v3r th3 w0rld r1ght?!?!?!?!!!!"

"Uh no, I don’t think so. I don’t understand why you would think that. I want to learn about the world! Not conquer it!"

"0H!!!! th4t’s s0 sw4g br0!!! XD"

"I don’t understand this terminology, however I am assuming ‘swag’ is a good thing right?"

"h3ck y34h m4n!!! y0u’r3 4ctu4lly 4lr1ght!!! :]"

"Thank you!"

Lampert glanced back at DrRETRO, watching her quietly from the corner of his eye. She was staring at blankly ahead, her expression was difficult to read but he could tell something was troubling her. As he opened his mouth to speak, he was harshly stopped before her could even get anything out.

"Hisss…" «Lampert… Don’t…»

"Well excuse me for wanting to ask if you’re okay."

"Mrrraow.." «It’s none of your business.»

"You’re acting like a cornered lion. I think making sure you don’t lash out at anyone is my business."

That was most definitely poor wording, he swore he saw her flinch before snapping her gaze towards him. He noticed the slight pinkish tint in her pupils, growing nervous, anyone could tell you what that meant…

"HISS?!" «ARE YOU CALLING ME A THREAT?!»

"Wh- N-No! I was just making an analogy. Not trying to offend you."

He took a step back. By now Infected and Prototype had stopped talking and were instead watching the two with questioning or concerned expressions.

"… Meoww…" «Just stay out of it..»

He nodded, watching the pinkish tint die from her eyes as she looked away. An uncomfortable silence filled the elevator before being disrupted by its doors opening.

"Ah… This is our floor, come on Infected."

"1c3 cr34m f0r br34kf4st!!! s0 epik!!! >:D"

DrRETRO watched as they stepped out, being left alone with the curious robot as the doors closed.

"… Are you okay..?"

She nodded.

"But-"

She let out a warning hiss, glaring down at him with annoyance. He may have not understood her tongue, but he understood that hissing typically meant anger or annoyance within cats.

"Okay… My apologies for pestering.."

The elevator was filled once more with heavy silence. As they stopped at floors, prototype would either enthusiastically greet people or watch DrRETRO do her work. He had no clue that she was skilled in the medical field. Perhaps he should’ve done a deeper examination of her. Perhaps he should do it now. But it’s impolite to do so without asking… He’ll just ask now!

"Uh… DrRETRO? That is your name right?"

She turned towards him.

"I was wondering if you could allow me to scan you one more time? Just to add some extra information to my database!"

She stared for a moment before nodding, though she relaxed slightly as she noticed his excitement.

"Thank you!"

There was a lot he had missed about her now that he took a deeper look. She was Brazilian and had a medical license! How interesting! Her birthday is in October, specifically the 10th of October.

"I’ll have to get something for your birthday!"

She shrugged in response.

As he continued, he found some… questionable information. A warrant for arrest. Perhaps she could answer a few questions of his.

"Excuse me? Were you perhaps arrested in the pa-"

Before he could finish, she let out a hiss.

"Huh-? What’s wrong? Is that an uncomfortable subject?"

She snarled, tail lashing as she glared at him.

"I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be intrusive!"

She snorted, turning away from him. Guess that meant leave her alone for now…

As they progressed, he watched her quietly and subtly. They had eventually made it to his floor of which he gave a small goodbye and left without another word.

DrRETRO was left alone, and she was pretty glad that. She just wanted to get her rounds done and go home, maybe even take a small nap. Who knows?

As she continued to ascend, she couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease and fear. She felt like she was being watched, as if something were going to happen. She felt vulnerable and she hated it…

Each floor she stopped at, each person she treated, she felt worse and worse. Her fur had begun to rise as she rode the elevator, nothing she did could distract herself from that nightmare. Maybe she just needed someone to hang out with, just talk to! Yeah! That could help..

As she reached out to press the button to pick a floor, the elevator stopped, its doors opening to reveal a familiar caterpillar holding a small bag of apples.

"Oh… Hello!"

Pilby gave her a nervous smile, waving with one of their arms before stepping onto the elevator.

"Meowww." «Hello Pilbert."

"How are you, doctor?"

"Meow." «I’m fine as usual.»

"That’s nice! Have you been doing your rounds?"

"Mrrow." «Just finished.»

"That’s good! Where are you going now?"

"Mew…" «I was going to go see Mach..»

"Golly! Is something wrong?"

"Miau." «Just… wanted someone to talk to.»

"I get that. Mach is a great listener! But gosh, if you’ve got a problem she’ll sniff it out faster than Wallter can drink a can of grey stuff! I wonder what’s in those cans anyway… I don’t see the appeal but everyone’s got their own taste, right?"

"Meow." «True.»

Pilby nodded, falling quiet as they hummed quietly to themselves. It was rather ironic, DrRETRO was the one stressing out and panicking internally while Pilby wasn’t as much as a nervous wreck as they usually were. Perhaps it was due to the fact that the feline was aboard as well, they had gotten used to being around her after all, she typically defended them from Gnarpy when xe got aggressive or Bive when she went on her rants and rambles.

As the elevator dinged and its doors opened, the two looked outside at the floor, though Pilby was the first to exit.

"Mew…?" «What’s this..?"

"Mach’s office."

"Mrrrew?" «Since when did she get an office?»

"She’s always had an office!"

DrRETRO followed after them, the doors closing behind her as she remained quiet and glanced around. She tilted her head as she stared at the pedestals, confused by what she saw. There so many strange objects, most of which glowed. Did she like glowy things? Was she part moth or something? At least she knows the qualifications to meet to get her gift in the future; make sure it glows.

"Meoww..?" «So uhm… Where is she?»

"Probably up- Oh there she is!"

The doctor looked up, staring at the deity who watched them from, as it was called beneath the window, the living quarters. It was ominous in a way, her top-hat left a shadow on her face as he red eyes glowed dimly, her face was its usual neutral expression as she gripped her hammer in her hands.

Retro swore her heart had skipped a beat for a moment, it truly was terrifying, even though she knew she had nothing to fear. She gave a small wave, forcing a nervous smile as Mach repeated the action. Within a blink of an eye she appeared in front of the two, staring down at them as she tilted her hat upwards.

"Hello."

"Meow." «Hi..»

"Hi Mach! Uh… I got you a snack from the shop!"

"Thank you Pilby, sit it on my desk for now."

The caterpillar nodded, hurrying over with the bag and placing a bag of mini donuts on her desk before leaving the two alone. To be honest, the feline would’ve preferred if they stayed, she’d prefer more than just one other person around. It’d make her feel a bit safer and less exposed. Her tail lashed as she lifted her ears, forcing her fur to lie flat for the time being.

"What’s wrong?"

DrRETRO was jerked back to reality as Mach spoke, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side as she questioned her.

"Meow! Mrrow." «Nothing! I was just bored and wanted to just talk with you.»

"Are you sure?"

"Mew.." «Yes..»

"Are you lying?"

"Mrraow!" «No!»

"Alright. What do you wanna talk about?"

"…"

"Mw.." «I didn’t think this far ahead..»

"Tsh.."

Mach couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh, sitting in her swivel chair as Retro sat on the crates.

"Seriously?"

"Miauuu." «You try thinking of topics on short notice.»

"I will. Here’s your first one: seen that stupid rock recently?"

"Mew… Meoww mow merow." «Okay firstly, screw you… Secondly, surprisingly no. I thought that it’d be bothering me eventually today.»

"Hopefully it’s gone for good. I hated it, really annoying honestly.."

"Meow! Mrrw…" «Yeah! Plus it makes my job harder, if you only knew the amount of burn scars I’ve had to treat…»

"I can only imagine.."

DrRETRO purred, feeling better from before as she forgot of her early morning reminder of the past.

"Meow! Meew." «Oh! Met some new robot today.»

"A new robot?"

"Meowww. Merrw mwww." «Yep. Called himself Prototype. Very sweet actually, just way too impulsive as well as asking a lot of questions.»

"What, did he bother you?"

"Mrraw." «No. Not really. Not on purpose at least.»

"What do you mean not on purpose?"

"Meow." «It’s nothing don’t worry about it."

"That just makes me worry more..."

"Mrrw." «Aw, you really do care.»

"Retro.."

"Meow?! Mrroww?" «What?! I can’t joke anymore?»

"Is something bothering you?"

"Mew.." «As I said before, don’t worry about it..»

"Doctor RETRO Katball…"

"Maow…" «Uh oh full name…»

"What’s wrong?"

"Meow." «Nothing.»

"I know you’re lying and I swear I will use the hammer on you if you don’t fess up.."

"Mrrew." «Such an empty threat.»

She purred quietly before falling silent as she saw Mach grip her hammer tightly.

"How much are you betting?"

"…"

"Exactly."

"Meeow…" «Really, darling, you don’t have to worry about it. I’m fine…»

"The last time you said you were fine you collapsed on the floor from exhaustion while coughing and dry heaving."

"Meow.." «Well I was fine until then..»

"You had a fever and stayed hunched over the toilet for the next two hours!"

"Mrrow." «It was certainly an unpleasant experience…»

"Retro…"

"Meow?" «What?»

"I’m being serious about this. What’s wrong?"

"Mrraow." «You wouldn’t understand.»

She shrugged, trying to push down the swelling emotions in her chest. Unfortunately for her, Mach was persistent, gently cupping her cheeks with cold hands. Perhaps she should’ve heeded Pilby’s warning from earlier…

"Then help me understand…"

The katball pause, placing her own paws against Mach’s hands as she held her gaze. Even with her neutral and cold expression, she could still see the concern that glittered within her eyes.She let out a shaky breath, swallowing hard as she struggled to find the words.

Since when was talking about your problems so difficult?!

"It’s okay. Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready…"

"…"

"Mrrow…" «I… had a uhm… dream, well nightmare, last night. And it’s… It’s been bugging me all day…»

"What happened in it?"

"Meow… Mrrowww Miau." «Just… Uh… Reminded me of prison ya know? Just kind of… relived one of the worst moments of my life."

"Oh, Retro…"

"Mrrw! Mreow…" «I mean at least it’s over! Don’t understand why I’m worrying over it so much…»

Mach stared at her, her concern growing as she went on. She couldn’t even begin to comprehend how the katball felt right now. She had never been herself but she imagined it was a traumatic experience.

She sighed before pulling her close, holding her tightly as she took a deep breath.

"I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of it. Just know, if you ever need anything, I’ll be here…"

The katball fell quiet, her ears flattening as she took the time to process her words. She let out a shaky sigh, her grip onto the other tightening as tears slowly streamed down her face.

Mach continued to hold her, gently caressing the doctor’s head and back as she tried to comfort her to the best of her ability.

"Mrraoh…" «Sorry for bothering you with my issues while being a giant crybaby...»

"Don’t apologize. Cry all you want, you’re not bothering me…"

"Miauu…" «Okay…»

She fell quiet, tears continuing to flow as she trembled slightly. Despite her earlier feelings of vulnerability and fear, she felt safe at the moment. She felt as if nothing could harm her, not here at least. She liked that..

"Mrrow?" «Mach?»

"Mhm?"

"Mew…" «Thank you…»

"Don’t worry about it.."

RAHHHHH YURI!!!!!!

I started falling asleep (it is 3:30 am here) towards the end so sorry for any mistakes and stuff I’ll fix them when my brains not silly and thinking of croissants. Hope you enjoyed Schmiles

[14th-century-verona-queer]

Sokka HC’s (trauma edition)

just some stuff that I think is true abt Sokka idk

I haven’t watched ATLA in literal years so please correct me if some of my info is wrong

Some of these are probably obvious but I just wanted to give my take on them lol

Ever since the night of the fire nation raid, he’s terrified of fire and even more scared of the smell of bodies burning and the sight of ash. Because although fire is what took his mother and a lot of the tribe members away, the smell of bodies burning and the sight of ash reminds him of the sight he saw that night, and how he was useless to do anything about it, that now burns forever in his memory. Because while Katara is traumatized at seeing the death of Kya, Sokka is traumatized of seeing his tribe members killed and burned in front of him. He’s the kind of guy to break down after the fact of whatever just happened, so he can still fight fire nation soldiers and everything. But the minute he gets off of the battlefield and the adrenaline wears off and hes alone? He makes some excuse about “needing to plan where they’re going next in the peace and quiet because fucking toph and aang make it hard to focus with their earthbending lessons” he breaks down, sobs racking his body and an inevitable panic attack coming as he relives the worst night of his life over and over again for hours, acrid smoke and burning flesh all he’s able to smell, screams of pain and heartbreak all he’s able to hear. (when Zuko comes along it gets a little bit better because he can remind himself the Zuko is a fire bender and hes safe and warm and would never do anything to hurt me. So he just kind of melts into his best friend’s boyfriends arms and it becomes a routine for them. More on that on the zukka post i will get to writing..eventually)

He has abandonment issues because of how unexpectedly Kya died and left him to take care of Katara while she was grieving, and then Hakoda left him to take care of the entire tribe by himself. This is probably why in that one episode (i dont remember which one and im too lazy to find it) Sokka was so adamant about refusing to let Katara go and try to save Haru and his dad, because he was scared that she wouldn’t leave until she got everyone off of the ship, eventually get captured, and spend the rest of her days there, leaving him behind.

(This ones cannon I think but here’s my take on it) He has self-worth issues because of his constant expectations that have been set on him, by himself and by other people. A lot of people reading this are gonna be like well yea he had to take care of the entire tribe by himself! Which, true! Not exactly the best move Hakoda, but what’re you gonna do i guess. But i think his self-worth issues stem more from his need to be the perfect “chief”. What i mean by that is that if he’s doesn’t catch enough fish for the tribe (even if they probably have enough to survive because always working too hard) he hates himself because he isn’t doing enough and they look so skinny and its all my fault because i just can’t catch enough fish. And if the people are cold, or if they’re sick, they expect him to take care of them, but they dont see that he’s a 16 (or younger, he was acting as chief for a couple years before Aang came along i think) year old boy trying to do everything himself with no help. Every day he hears the same thing: “Sokka, we don’t have enough ______! Can you please get more?” So he never ever thinks he’s good enough no matter what he does because there’s just never enough. even if he catches 100 fish for the whole village to eat, he’ll still beat himself up about it because sure they were able to eat today, but they’re not eating enough and he still needs to get more furs for everyone because the winter is only getting colder and they’re getting sicker and they’re all going to die because he’s so useless and can’t do anything right

because of him having to do everything himself, he absolutely hates being offered help. He refuses it practically every single time, because he’s so used to people younger than him counting on him to do something, and if they’re counting on him that means that he cannot fail, and asking for help (to him) is one way of failing. If he asks for help that means he couldn’t do the one thing Hakoda asked him too. It’s super simple Sokka, just take care of the village of like 15 people. And he can’t even do that.

He’s an absolute control freak and micromanages everything, and Katara (the hypocrite, smh) hates it. He needs to be in control of everything because that means that nothing can go wrong unless he makes a mistake. (Which he knows he will make a mistake but at least its his fault and he can find a way to fix it) If he relies on other people that means they’ll make mistakes which means something that needed to get done won’t and he’ll fuck up again and he’ll be worthless, because planning and fixing and engineering and fighting is all he has, all he thinks hes good for. He would rather be solely blamed for not being good enough and screwing up than letting someone like Zuko or Katara or Aang be told that. He was never in control of the war or his mother’s death of Hakoda leaving or anything, so he find some kind of solace or coping mechanism in being able to at least control the village and having some semblance of control (idk how else to explain this! Im so sorry!)

Also because he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it right lol. He’s been taking care of the whole village for such a long time that there’s a very specific way you supposed to do this Katara! It took him such a long time to finally get a rhythm going, get used to how to take care of 15+ people at a time, so any little change to his routine pisses him off and makes him panic because he’s lost the control of the situation and now he’s in an unknown territory where he doesn’t know how to do anything which makes him a liability.

(I’ll probably continue to update this post because im probably not done, and/or make a pt 2 if y’all wanna see that. Won’t be restricted to just trauma next time!)

[shewhowas39]

chapter 19 sneak peek!

working on chapter 19 of Juniper & Starlight! not sure yet when this will be up. Monday or Tuesday, i hope? but this one is gonna get spicy. here's a little preview before the spicy bits start. the lead up, if you will.

***

“Are you all right?” she asks. 

Astarion has to resist the urge to wince at the genuine worry in her voice. He’s still not used to people showing concern for him. It’s part of what he wants from her, of course, and yet it still itches, like a shirt made of cheap fabric. 

“Oh, yes, quite fine,” he answers. “My backside might be a bit bruised, however.” 

“Sorry.” June scrambles off of him and gets back to her feet. “I didn’t mean to knock you down. I saw you struggling to close the book and I felt a whole lot of necromancy and I got real scared something bad was about to happen to you and…” She trails off as Astarion also stands, dusting off his trousers. He watches her eyes dart to the book and then back to him. “How’s that going, by the way?”

“It’s a unique read, certainly,” he says, tossing a glare at the book. The two dark amethyst gems on hte cover seem to stare menacingly back at him. “A tome of necromancy guarded by spirits.”

“I take it those were the voices I heard when I touched it?” 

“Yes. They became louder when I opened it, surging into my mind. I can’t reason with them. They exist to protect that book.” He walks over and picks up the book, grimacing at the faint sound of whispers, taunting him from the shadows. “Someone went through a lot of trouble to protect this tome,” he says, more to himself than to June. “It has to be something more than a book of cantrips.”

“Astarion.” June takes a step closer to him, her eyes the color of midnight in this dim lighting. “I know you’re hoping to find something useful in there, but that thing is dangerous. I can feel it. I ain’t telling you not to read it, but please be careful.” She offers a smile that seems rather sad. “We already got one crazy person in the party. Don’t wanna add another.”

“You’re right,” he says. “I’d hate to be as mad as Lae’zel.” He’s pleased when that earns a little chuckle from her. “But perhaps you’re right. It may be best to put it aside for now.” Astarion sighs and scowls down at the book. “I still think it may have the key to giving me an edge over Cazador, but I can’t learn anything as long as those spirits remember their mission.”

“We’ll figure it out,” June says. “I promise.” 

He raises an eyebrow at her. “We?”

“Of course. I ain’t just gonna leave you hanging out to dry when all this mindflayer business is done with. Like I told you, Astarion, you’re my friend.” 

Her friend. 

Astarion moves his gaze back down to the book and away from June’s face. He needs to be careful. Last night, he’d nearly confessed everything to her. He’d been so surprised by her easy trust in him and so confounded by her declaring herself to be his friend that he’d nearly let the monster crawl out of the void in his chest and claw its way up through his throat. He’d nearly let the guilt he’s been avoiding looking in the eye go free. 

Thank the Gods she’d had one of her visions and hadn’t heard the first part of his admission. And thank them again that she’d kissed him and shut him up completely. 

In theory, he already has what he wants. She is concerned for him, she trusts him, she seems at least somewhat invested in his well being. That should make him feel good. It should mean his plan is working. Or perhaps even that it’s unnecessary at this point. But Astarion doesn’t trust it. He doesn’t trust that it can be that easy. And he certainly doesn’t trust that, if he told her the truth of his intentions, she’d still call him a friend. 

No. He needs to be careful and keep that guilt chained up in the darkest part of his soul, away from the light of day. He needs to not feel it. To not feel anything. 

But, by the Hells, June, with all her painful sincerity and her big, sad eyes, really makes that difficult sometimes.

“Well, if nothing else, perhaps I can beat Cazador to death with it,” he says, waving the book around theatrically before shoving it into his bag and silencing the voices in his mind. “But you came over here looking for me. Did you need something?”

“I actually came to see if you needed something.” June says, gesturing to her neck. 

“Oh!” Astarion’s mood instantly picks up at the prospect of her blood. “Now that you mention it, darling, I am feeling rather peckish.” He sidles up beside her, slipping an arm around her waist. “Your tent or mine?”

***

readers of J&S know that things get a little steamy once these two are alone in a tent together... this chapter is gonna take that to a new level. i'm excited!

[shibainu2006]

You're not alone

This is that idea I got! I can't go without writing it!

Author's note: I had way too much fun with this.. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Honorable mentions

@killersweetie

@vtoriacore

@vtoriacore-rbs

@atcordare

@the-dumber-scaramouche

@eccedentesiast-sapphic

All the cheating... Harming others... It was mind-boggling to her.

The prefect didn't understand the purpose.

Savanaclaw had finally been caught red-handed, and now she and her friends faced the housewarden and his boot lickers.

He'd given up so quickly that it felt almost too easy...

Her dreams were certainly enough to tell her this wouldn't end so cleanly.

Was she a prophet? No.

Despite that, she was still shown just who would be a problem next. Or at least what dorm.

Everyone in this school was such a nuisance...

Savanaclaw had done nothing but waste her time and energy.

All this over one stupid sport... Such sore losers...

Not even a solid hour in, he was saying all kinds of unjust things to the people who willingly helped him! Believed in him!

The very people who practically worshipped him!

"For all the talk about 'the world watching,' this is still just schoolkids playin' a game." Leona spoke with so much apathy that it made Reign's stomach churn....

"All you wide-eyed tenderfoots talkin' about your dreams... Pfft. The whole thing amused me, so I threw you a bone. That's all this was."

How dare he...

"What do you mean? What happened to working together to turn the world upside down?" Ruggie was in disbelief...

"Are you seriously still goin' on about that? All right, fine. You wanna hear the truth?" The housewarden's expression turned to an unkind one. It was never kind to begin with, but it worsened...

"You're a hyena who grew up in a dump, and I'm a secondborn prince who won't ever be king. And there is NO turning that around!"

Ruggie obviously had qualms with those words, and spoke against them quickly, "What? You gotta be kidding me! What is this? You can't just quit after we've come this far!"

Another student spoke up, "You can't do this to us, boss!"

Why did they bother with him at this point? It made no sense...

"You're gonna play, even if we gotta drag you there kicking and screaming!" Another exclaimed.

Leona was only getting irritated...

"Bah, I'm so sick of this nonsense. Shut UP, you nobodies!"

Dust kicked up, almost as though a sandstorm was brewing..

Leona had gripped Ruggie's arm, and the skin began to crack...

A pained noise erupted from his throat, but it was choked out and dry...

"Everything the housewarden touched is turning to sand?!" Jack was visibly concerned for the wellbeing of Ruggie.

"That'd be my signature spell. The King's Roar." Leona spoke in a sinister tone... "Ironic, isn't it? Nothin' the savanna hates more than a drought." His grip on Ruggie tightened..

"Yet its prince's magic desiccates everything—reduces it to sand."

"B-boss... It hurts...!" The hyena managed to speak.

Reign was getting close to losing her temper...

Deuce's eyes widened, "Ruggie's arm! The skin is cracking!"

"Your spell can legit dry out a HUMAN BEING!?" Ace was in awe, but he was scared.

Seemed like Riddle had just about enough, "Leona, I cannot allow this to continue! Off With Your Head!"

Instead of his collar stopping Leona... it bounced off.

"Myah!? Riddle's collar bounced right off!" Grim exclaimed, clearly surprised.

Leona gave a dark chuckle, "Maybe you're some kinda prodigy, kid, but don't go thinkin' you're smarter than your elders. I aced my Protective Magic classes in my sleep."

Riddle gritted his teeth at those words...

The lion barked out a laugh, "Hah! How do you like that, Ruggie? Does it hurt? Is your mouth too dry to keep licking my boots? That was your finest talent, too."

Jack was almost shaking...

"If we don't stop him, Ruggie's gonna..."

Reign exhaled, stepping forward, "I've seen and heard just. About. Enough from you..." She was fuming..

"Hah? And what can a magicless herbivore like you do?" Leona glared at her, "Since the day we met, you've done nothing but challenge my authority..."

"I ain't scared of some wannabe king who can't even get his act together!" Reign spoke firmly, "You're nothin', but a coward in my eyes!"

Leona glared at her, and they locked eyes, neither backing down for even a second...

Riddle spoke once more, "I don't get it! If you have that much power, why do this?!"

Leona chuckled at his question, "Why? What do you care, kid? You gonna scold me? Try to talk me down?" Leona spoke grimly, "Don't you get it? Power alone ain't enough to make waves in this world. Look at Ruggie here. He's like a muzzled dog. Pathetic, ain't it? Hard not to pity him."

Ruggie was choked up, already struggling to stay alive.

Jack finally had enough, "That's enough! Unleash the beast!!" He cried, and his form shifted into that of a wolf.

Everyone was startled by this!

Even Leona, who had completely lost focus.

Riddle saw this as an opportunity, "Off with your head!!"

Now, Leona's magic could do no harm.

Deuce got Ruggie away from Leona, now at a safe distance.

Sebek and Silver got the wounded out of the stadium.

Leona was fuming now, "No... NO! You can't collar a lion! And Jack! How did you... Transformation potions are forbidden! Where did you get that?"

"I didn't use a potion—that's my signature spell." Jack explained, "With it, I can transform myself into a wolf."

"Ha! What's that saying? Every dog has his day? Well, I guess you had yours!"

Reign glared into Leona's very soul.

Listening to him speak was becoming irritating...

"Housewarden Leona, I want you to know... I only came to this school because of how much I admired you! What happened to the man you used to be?" Jack questioned him.

"Shut up... Your dreams got nothin' to do with me!" Leona snapped.

Riddle took a moment to try and defuse the situation, "I understand the irony of me being the one to say it, but it pains me to see you like this. You'd be wise to confine yourself to your room and try to calm down!"

Leona glowered at him, "What do you know about how I feel?!"

Lilia stepped up, having a grin on his face, "Would that the lion king of the savanna could witness this absolute farce." He started, "No, if you ask me, the collar suits you far better than a crown ever could."

He was being far nicer than Reign planned to be...

"Huh!?" Leona was still holding onto his pride, but a few more words... that would be all it took...

"You may bemoan the fact that you're not higher in line to be king. But with that sensitive ego of yours? That so quickly directs all your petty anger at your retainers..." He continued, "Well, the idea of you ever contending with a REAL king like our Malleus—is absolutely laughable. Even if you COULD defeat Malleus, so long as that's how you choose to conduct yourself? You would never be fit to rule!"

And with that... Leona began to laugh...

"Hah... Ha ha. Yeah, you're probably right. No, you're EXACTLY right...! Ha ha ha ha! I will never become king. No matter how hard I try!"

Reign could sense the bad vibes leaking right off the lion... Another overblot...

"Myah! My fur's standin' on end!" Grim felt his fur bristle.

"The magic power within Leona is surging... I don't think my collar can hold it!"

Lilia had come to a realization, "No... that isn't magic power." He said, "That's negative energy. Which means..."

Reign's brows furrowed, "Fuck..."

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!" Cater exclaimed.

Riddle's collar was sent flying through the air.

Leona was so deep in anguish and rage...

"I've been loathed since the day I was born. I've never had a place, never had a future! None of my hard work is ever rewarded! How could any of YOU possibly understand? MY disappointment?! MY pain?!"

Upon hearing those words, Reign felt a sting in her heart.

Suddenly, Leona was nothing but a mirror to her...

She knew...

She understood...

All that pent up aggression.. All that saddness...

He was hurting, and now she could see it clearly.

Her inner empath took effect, and suddenly, she could feel his very heart.. How tainted and damaged it had been..

How unfair life had been to him, just as it had been to her.

Leona let out a powerful roar, striking fear into the hearts of many..

It was time to fight.

Reign stood tall, fully willing to take him on herself if need be.

A few words were exchanged, and the battle began.

.

.

.

Almost halfway in, Reign had suffered quite a few injuries, almost more than the others.

He was targeting her... Almost as though to be punishing her for her insolence... Punishing her for challenging him the way she always had.

Of course, she didn't care for that, until he came right for her, gripping her forearm.

The others were too focused on the blot monster to realize that she'd been grabbed.

Reign stiffened, shuddering.

Was this the end?

She closed her eyes, visibly afraid, but she didn't feel any pain aside from his tight grip on her arm.

"Where's all that fire from before...? Lost your nerve?" Leona chuckled darkly.

Reign opened her eyes, looking directly into his..

"You're hurting... aren't you?"

That was all she said. There was no anger on her face... Only sympathy.

Leona growled, "What are you talking about?"

"I know how it feels... To not be accepted by everyone around you.. I know it hurts to be beat down like that..." She didn't bother fighting against him.

The lion gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on her, digging his claws into her arm, making her wince, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW!? YOU AND I ARE NOTHING ALIKE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUGGESTING!!" He roared out, "I AM THE LOATHED SECOND PRINCE! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND!?"

"I can understand plenty!" Reign spoke firmly, "I went through similar! I know damn well how it feels!" She was genuine in her words.

"You don't feel like you're good enough, and you've spent your whole life trying to impress just for one goal! I know what that's like!" She told him.

Leona clenched his jaw, "YOU KNOW NOTHING!!"

He threw her down to the ground, and she yelped.

She had no stamina left to continue to fight...

The pain in her body was becoming too much for her.

Leona stood over her weak form, "I'm going to kill you... then I'll turn the rest of this pointless world to sand... If I can't rule it.. then I'll destroy it."

He reached for her, gold magic swirling in his hand.

Seeing this, adrenaline rushed through Reign's body, and she gripped his wrist, kicking him in the stomach with a powerful leg, knocking the wind out of him.

The magic in his hand faded, and she pulled him down to the ground, pinning his hands behind his back and digging her knee right into his back.

"I refuse... To die here..." She panted.

Leona growled, struggling to get her off.

His head hit the ground pretty hard, and he could feel pain in his body.

The blot was getting to be too much.

She wouldn't budge, but she felt her body giving out...

She was exhausted..

Reign fell over on her side, panting.

That was the last bit of energy she had...

Leona sat up, "You... I commend your bravery... but now it's over..."

Before he could even do anything to her, he was hit hard by a wolf.

Jack had saved her life!

Leona seemed pretty out of it, too...

Slowly, the blot monster disappeared, and Leona fell to his knees,"I just.. wanted to be king..."

And with that... the battle had finished.

Finally.

.

.

.

.

.

It had been weeks since Leona's overblot, and Reign had gotten the proper rest needed.

Her arm was pretty messed up, so it was bandaged.

She wandered into the botanical garden, holding her sketchbook, searching for the perfect thing to draw.

Reign felt something under her foot, and a familiar growl.

Oh... not again...

She sighed, lifting her foot to see the same tail she'd stepped on a month ago.

Leona sat up, "You again..?"

"Sorry..." Reign huffed, knowing he'd probably wanna pick a fight.

"You gotta watch where you're going..." Leona sighed, lying back down.

The prefect was surprised, but she didn't question him, walking off.

Leona thought back on her words...

"Hey.."

Reign turned, looking at Leona, "Yes?"

"When you said... that you understood me... What exactly did you mean by that..?"

She smiled a bit, "I meant just what I said... Nothing more, nothing less. You're not alone in this world... That much, I can promise you."

Leona sucked in a quiet breath at her words.

He wasn't alone...

Someone finally understood him...

Just like that, Reign made her way further into the gardens, humming to herself.

Maybe the prefect wasn't so bad after all...

The end!