#so I'll just pick up healthy snacks that I do like

[narcan-necromancer]

I hate that I can't have junk food at all in the house because I just end up eating it all in one sitting. I understand that I'm thin, but I have gained weight that I don't feel comfortable with and I want to get rid of because I've been overeating. Tonight was a good lesson in that and hopefully I can be better moving forward.

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 60 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Your bachelorette outing and Bradley's bachelor party are both hosted by the same person, but they couldn't be more different. Spending an evening at home with Noah is reminiscent of your babysitting days, but now he's asking you some pertinent questions.

Warnings: pregnancy topics, swearing, smut, drinking, angst, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4500 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Natasha was outside in her SUV on the driveway, ready to pick you up for your bachelorette outing. You refused to call it a bachelorette party since it was just the two of you going out for the evening, but Bradley made sure his best friend knew to spare no expense when it came to anything you wanted.

"It's just pedicures and pottery," you whispered against Bradley's lips with a smile as he held you close so he could feel your round belly against his body. "I'll be home in a few hours."

He grunted softly, kissing you a little deeper before releasing your lips. "We'll still miss you," he murmured, letting his hands roam along your hips while Noah sat on the area rug and worked on one of the new coloring books you picked up for him. "And don't overdo it." When Natasha started honking her horn, he let his forehead rest on your shoulder. "She's the worst."

You just laughed and kissed his cheek as you said, "She's the best, and you know it, Daddy."

It would have been impossible to dispute that fact. She was the one who took care of you when Bradley wasn't stateside. "Go have fun."

"Bye, Mommy!" Noah said, popping up to give you a hug when Bradley released you. He scooped his son up since he didn't want you lifting anything, and you gave Noah a kiss on the forehead.

"Have fun with Daddy," you told him, kissing him once more before heading outside to Nat's idling SUV. 

Bradley stood on the porch with Noah and waved until you were out of sight, and then Noah asked, "Can we get Mommy a coloring book?"

"Hey," Bradley said, nudging the door open while also making sure Skittles didn't get outside without her leash on. "That's a great idea, Bub. Maybe a Princess coloring book? You can give it to her for the wedding?"

His son looked so much like a tiny version of himself, and he had to stifle his laughter as Noah nodded stoically and said, "Yeah, she'd like that. I have so many great ideas."

Bradley took him back inside, and they ended up stretched out on the floor together. Noah continued with his masterpiece while Bradley started searching for options on his phone. After a few minutes, he found an independent shop that made coloring books with different themes based on photos that you send to them. "Do you like this?" he asked his son, holding up his phone.

Noah looked at the sample pages as Bradley scrolled through them. He nodded and said, "Mommy is prettier than that."

"She absolutely is," Bradley replied as he realized the wedding was in a week and didn't know if a custom book could even be completed in that short amount of time. "Let me see if we can get something like this for her. If not, we can always save it for her birthday."

His son started to pout at the mere mention of having to wait longer for it, so Bradley started typing up a message to the owner of the shop, hoping that he'd be able to explain that it was for his wedding. Once that was done, he checked the time and asked, "Do you need a snack before dinner?"

"Ants on logs," Noah replied without missing a beat. Bradley had no problem with the healthy snacks you somehow tricked the two of them into eating, but he was always told he never got the peanut butter proportions right.

"Yeah, okay. I can try to make them the way you like-"

"Mommy left some in the fridge."

Bradley chuckled as he stood up, coaxing Noah to abandon his coloring project for the time being. "Of course she did. She's the best." Somehow even when you weren't here, you had everything covered.

-----------------------------

"Okay, so if you could ditch Bradley and marry a celebrity, who would you pick?"

You burst out laughing in the pedicure chair next to Natasha with your hands resting on the roundest part of your belly. "Who said I would? Even if I could?" She gave you a look followed by an eye roll before you said, "You'll laugh at me, so I don't even want to say my answer."

"Just say it," she prompted as you dragged your foot through the warm water.

You groaned and said, "I like all the older, DILF-y actors."

Natasha started cackling as you covered your eyes with your hands. "You have a type!" she said amidst her laughter. "And your type is Rooster!"

You thought back to all the time you wasted with Greyson and other guys your age and grimaced. "I don't think that was always my type. It's a more recent development, and I'm not mad about it." You moved your hand on your belly and added, "Boy suck. Men are at least marginally better."

"Well," she said, leaning a little closer to you like she had a secret. "You found a good one. Or rather, I kind of found you for him. But regardless, he's a keeper. Kind of because he has Noah."

"Mostly because he has Noah," you told her, and then both of you were laughing.

After your nails were painted a vibrant purple, Natasha took you out for dinner and let you eat until you were full. You could tell your body and appetite were changing by the day, but you refused to feel self conscious about it in front of her. The two of you were sharing a slice of cake for dessert when you said, "He really did plan almost everything for the wedding. All I did was help him pick out matching suits for him and Noah to wear. And I picked out some flowers and my dress, but that's it."

Natasha hummed as she took another forkful of dessert. "I'm telling you, he'll always be good like that. He's a planner. Very responsible."

You felt silly telling her what was on your mind, but you said it anyway. "He pays my credit card bill. Not that I spend a lot! I try not to! I usually just buy groceries and things for Noah." She nodded like your words weren't as startling as you thought they were. "I kind of wanted to surprise him as a thank you, but if I buy something, he'll see it on the credit card statement."

Maybe you should have been wary of the smirk that found its way to her lips when Natasha said, "What if I rally the boys one night this week and take him out for a little bachelor party?"

"Oh," you said softly. "You'd do that? Just something lowkey?"

"Super lowkey," she agreed with a nod.

You could easily imagine them going to Top Golf or out for some drinks. "I think he might really like that."

"Or.... and just hear me out," she said, holding up her hands innocently after handing her credit card to the waiter. "Or, you let me absolutely roast him for the night."

You studied her face; how bad could it be? She was Bradley's best friend after all. Even if she was giving him a hard time, she'd probably make it fun. "What did you have in mind?" you asked as the two of you left the restaurant and headed for the pottery boutique down the block.

"A few things I'm going to need your approval for," she replied casually. And while you worked on making yourself a mug that said Noah's Mommy, you listened to Natasha's not-so-lowkey plans for Thursday night. By the time your mug actually looked like a mug, you gave her full approval.

"I almost feel bad about this," you told her with a laugh.

"I don't."

-------------------------------

The following evening after Noah was in bed, Bradley set you up for a nice shower while he cleaned up the kitchen from the chicken enchiladas you made for dinner. When Nat called him, he held his phone to his shoulder with his cheek and kept working.

He answered the call and asked, "Hey, what's up?"

"Your bachelor party with me and the guys starts at six o'clock on Thursday evening."

He laughed in response. "It's funny that this is the first time I'm hearing about it."

Bradley could practically feel her rolling her eyes through the phone. "Just be ready to go."

"Ready for what?" he asked, knowing better than to just trust her with this. The dating app was one thing, and that had turned out great in the end, but he wasn't going to blindly go with her on this.

"Uhhh... just some stuff."

"Natasha."

"Bradley."

"What did you do?"

There was a brief pause before she said, "Just be ready for dinner, booze and some strippers."

With a deep sigh, Bradley closed his eyes and said, "I'm going to have to check with my wife-to-be about the strippers, Nat." You had to know by now that you had nothing to worry about, and he wasn't even all that keen on going to a strip club, but he didn't want you to be upset.

"She knows the plan."

He froze as he loaded the dishwasher. "She does?"

Natasha laughed, and Bradley swore he felt his skin crawl. "She does. Be ready for six o'clock on Thursday."

"We have work on Friday-" 

She already ended the call. Bradley finished cleaning up when he heard you getting out of the shower. "God damn it, Nat," he muttered as he turned off the kitchen lights and made his way back to the bedroom where you were all wrapped up in a towel.

"Hi, Daddy."

He groaned at your words and your little smirk. "Hey, Baby. Can we talk for a minute?"

Your eyebrows shot up as you held your towel around you a little tighter. "What's wrong? Is it something about the wedding? Did the marriage license not go through? We only have six days."

"No, no," he promised, reaching for you. "It's not that. It's... I just got off the phone. With Nat."

You looked relieved as you leaned against him. "Good. I was worried for a second."

Bradley didn't quite know how to approach this topic now that he was here. Natasha would be as tenacious as a junkyard dog about her plans, so he had to say something. "You don't have anything to worry about."

You laughed softly. "That sounds nice."

He cleared his throat and said, "Nat called about my bachelor party night?" 

It came out more like a question than a statement, but you just nodded and said, "Dinner and drinks and the strip club."

"Yeah," he rasped. "You approved this whole thing?"

"Mmhmm. To be fair, it was all her idea. I just told her it was okay."

Bradley tipped your chin so you were looking up at him, your face fresh and perfect after your shower. "If this plan is not okay with you, then I'm not going."

"It's okay with me," you replied easily. "I trust you."

He studied your face. "I feel like I'm going to end up babysitting everyone on a work night. Two days before the wedding."

You snorted in response. "You'll have fun. And so will everyone else. You should go."

"Yeah, I'm going," he groaned. "Nat will just have the guys drag me out if I don't go willingly. But I don't really care about looking at strippers. I got you and your perfect tits right here at home."

You didn't stop him when he slowly tugged your towel from your fingers and pulled it open. And yeah, your tits looked perfect, but so did the swell of your pregnant belly and your soft skin. He was hard as soon as the towel hit the floor. 

"Daddy," you whined softly, shivering in his arms. It was December, and the nights were chilly in San Diego; you had taken to snuggling with him even more than usual in your sleep. "Now you need to warm me up."

"My pleasure," he replied, scooping you up and dropping you carefully onto the king sized bed that you picked out for the room. "Let me start right here," he whispered before he kissed you softly, covering your body gently with his. "Feeling warmer?"

You shifted beneath him, spreading your legs wider so he was nestled against your pussy, his cock straining against his jeans zipper. "A little bit," you whispered innocently. 

Bradley smirked, and when he brought his hand up to stroke your breast, he said, "I told you, I got these perfect tits right here."

"Bradley," you giggled as his fingers skimmed along your skin, but when he stroked his thumb across your tightly furled nipple, you arched your back and made a raspy gasping sound. Your eyes went wide as you looked up at him. "Oh my god," you moaned.

"Are you okay?" he asked, pulling his hand away, but you were already nodding vigorously. 

"It felt really good." The words rushed right from your lips as you rolled your hips up to meet his. "Different, I guess. I can't explain it."

When he rubbed your nipple between his thumb and index finger, he smirked. You were instantly squirming and moaning, reaching for his zipper with one hand and his hair with the other. Your eyes were wild even though he was being gentle, and he dipped his head down to whisper in your ear. "You're extra sensitive right now. It's the pregnancy hormones." He plucked and stroked as you started panting. "God damn, Princess. You like that?"

"Yes!" Your voice already sounded broken, and he'd barely touched you.

"Shh. Keep quiet like a good girl." But his words and hand seemed to have the opposite effect on you, because you just got louder. Bradley reached down to where you had his cock free from his zipper and pulled your hand up to his lips. He kissed your fingers before shoving them a little rough into your mouth. "You have to be quiet if you want me to play with you."

You moaned around your own fingers but nodded your head, and at least you were quieter now as Bradley kissed his way from your neck down to your tits. He didn't know how he was going to manage you when there were two kids in the house trying to sleep, but at the moment, he didn't really care. You were going to be his wife in a few short days. That thought alone had him bucking his cock against the bedding as he ran his mustache along your peaked nipple, inhaling your wildflower scent.

When he pulled your nipple into his mouth and sucked, he could tell your breasts were already a little bit bigger than before. Soon you'd be bigger everywhere. Getting even more sensitive by the day. He was painfully hard right now, listening to your muffled screams and tasting you. He licked and sucked until your tits were both damp from his mouth and overstimulated from his mustache. 

When you started bucking up, Bradley eased his hand down to cup your pussy and found that you were soaked. He couldn't remember Meredith getting quite like this as he dipped his middle finger into your slick and easing it down to your hole.

"Daddy," you gasped as you pulled your fingers from your mouth. "I'm going to come."

You looked shocked by your statement as you sank down around his finger. He could already feel your tight pussy fluttering around him as he whispered, "You want me to make it so good?"

His only answer was a whimper as you bit your lip, and he knew he'd make sure you were always taken care of in every way. Carefully, he added a second finger and started to circle your clit with his thumb. You were shaking a bit, your pretty tits bouncing softly as he ran his nose down the valley between your breasts. 

"Be a good girl. You know where to put those fingers, Princess," he coaxed, watching you slip them between your lips. Then he let you have his mouth on your tits again, while his hand worked at your pussy. He carefully drew a shaking orgasm out of you as you slobbered on your own fingers, not stopping until he was afraid you'd be too far gone soon.

"Daddy," you whined around your fingers as he ran his tongue flat across your nipple.

"Let me fuck you," he begged, realizing he was already close and needing to be inside you. "Please, Baby."

You reached for his cock and guided him home, and he fucked you with his jeans barely pulled down, coming inside you after just a few strokes. You were the picture of sated perfection with his cum oozing out of your pussy and your wet fingers skimming along your swollen belly and breasts. You were his young, pristine babysitter and his pregnant wife-to-be and everything in between. "I love you."

"Keep me warm all night, Daddy."

---------------------------

As you sent Bradley off with Natasha, you shared a conspiratorial look with her. You only felt slightly bad for keeping the bachelor party plans to yourself, and ultimately it made you feel good when Bradley went out for the night in an old pair of jeans and an uninspired shirt. He didn't look the part of a man who wanted to try to dazzle some strippers, and you loved him for it. 

"Bye, Bub," he said, kneeling to kiss Noah where he stood at your side. "Be good for Mommy." Then he stood and kissed you deeply. "I won't be out late, okay?"

"Stay out as late as you want," you told him, running your fingers along his cheek as he pulled away from you. "Just don't have a hangover on Saturday."

He smiled and focused on your face even as Nat and the guys yelled at him from Javy's car in the driveway. "Our wedding day. It'll be perfect. Like you."

"Go," you told him with a laugh even as you had butterflies in your belly. "Have fun. We'll be here when you get home."

With one more kiss, he was off and jogging down the walkway. You watched him climb into the backseat, then they all waved at you as Javy backed out of the driveway with Natasha in the front seat. You were wondering how long it would be until Bradley called you to tell you he had in fact been taken to see a bunch of male strippers. The guys had apparently all been so excited when Natasha mentioned the strip club, she had a hard time holding in her laughter. The plan all along was that she'd take Bradley and the rest of them to dinner and then to The Tiger's Cage- San Diego's premier male review.

But you didn't hear from them at all while you and Noah ate macaroni and cheese together. You still didn't hear a word as the two of you took Skittles for a short walk to look at Christmas lights. You even let Noah dip his hands in green paint to make a Christmas tree art project to hang on the refrigerator, but nobody called or texted you.

"Mommy?" Noah asked as you got him changed into his dinosaur pajamas. "Are you going to adopt me?"

You smiled and kissed him on his chubby cheek. "I am," you promised. But when you looked at his face, his brow was pinched with worry.

"Is it going to hurt?"

"Oh, Noah," you said with a surprised laugh, pulling him into your arms and holding him against his growing younger sibling. "Not at all! It won't feel like anything."

"Then why are you going to do it?" he asked, face muffled by your shoulder.

You soothed his back with your hand, considering his question. For all intents and purposes, you really were his mom. Bradley added you to his will; if anything happened to him, Noah was solely yours. "I kind of want to have a little piece of paper with an official signature that says we get to be together forever. Does that sound okay?"

"That's adoption?" he asked. 

"That's adoption."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed with a little shrug before climbing into bed. "Can I sleep with Skittles again?"

The pup appeared in the doorway, always excited to hear her name. "She can stay in here until Daddy gets home." You set the dog in bed with him and gave him a little kiss on his forehead as he yawned. "I love you."

"Love you, Mommy." He was half asleep as you turned on his night light and left the room. When you checked your phone, you smiled, having finally received the message you were waiting for. 

Bradley Bradshaw: Nat brought us to The Tiger's Cage. My name is on the marquee. It says CONGRATULATIONS DADDY BRADSHAW

You were doubled over in laughter, holding your belly and trying not to wet yourself. Because he also sent a picture. All of the guys were lined up under the marquee sign, and you were pleased to see that they all looked like they were being good sports about the entire thing. Bradley was the only one who looked slightly mortified.

You texted back Go have fun, Daddy Bradshaw!

Natasha sent you some random photos as you got ready for bed. You were surprised Jake was there, given your history with him, but even he looked like he was having fun. You laughed at a picture of Bradley drinking something pink and blended, and then the photos stopped. 

You wondered what was going on, but you kept yourself busy. Bradley told you not to clean up, promising to take care of everything tomorrow night before the wedding in the backyard on Saturday afternoon. Since you had the time and the privacy, you tried on your wedding dress one last time, sliding the fabric along your legs and zipping it up your side. You grabbed your purple paper crown, which was looking a lot worse for the wear now, and set it on your head. 

When you looked in the mirror, you smiled. The dress fit like a dream and hugged your bump. The crown looked fun at the moment, but you wouldn't wear it on Saturday; you were pretty sure Bradley considered it a 'bedroom' item at this point anyway. Mostly, you looked happy. Like someone who was accepted in this perfect place. Like a woman who was needed here. And you needed the Bradshaw boys to be your family.

You wore the dress around for a few minutes before carefully unzipping it and getting ready for bed. It was late now, but you requested the day off tomorrow, and you wanted to see Bradley when he got home from his bachelor party. After you checked on Noah and Skittles, you curled up on the living room couch. 

Every time you stopped to think about the wedding, you got a little anxious. When you asked Bradley what he had planned for dinner for the reception, he just told you he had everything under control. He said all you had to do was show up with some sort of wedding vows, but he didn't tell you anything that he had planned. 

You dozed off on the couch, somehow still exhausted all the time, and you had no idea how late it was when you woke up to the sound of laughter and a key in the front door.

"You smell like Axe body spray. I can't believe someone is marrying you."

"Jesus fuck, Nat. I smell like Axe because you took me to see male strippers."

"Well, I know I had a great time tonight," Natasha cackled as she guided Bradley inside, and you stood up with your hand clasped over your mouth. He was a swaying mess, and he was holding a huge wad of cash and a bag from a convenience store.

"Princess," he crooned softly when he saw you, and your heart skipped a beat at the look in his eyes.

"Hi, Daddy."

And then he was on you, so gentle in his overindulgence, it was almost surprising. He was looking around like he wasn't sure what to do with everything he was holding, trying to touch your belly.

"I'll see you on Saturday," Natasha said with a smile as she closed the door behind her, and then you were alone with him. 

"What's in the bag? Are why are you holding a roll of cash?" you asked as you guided him to the couch. 

He sat down hard and handed everything to you as you stood between his splayed legs. "The strippers were dudes. I made Nat and Javy stop so I could get you some Skittles. I'm really drunk. Can we get married soon?"

When you looked in the bag you found six packs of your favorite candy. "Wow, you must be very intoxicated if you bought a pack of Sour Skittles too."

"Did I?" he asked before stretching out on the couch. "Shit. I'll eat them. Come here."

You sat on the floor next to him and handed him the bag of Sour Skittles as you counted the nearly seven hundred dollars you were holding. "Bradley, where did this come from?" you asked in alarm.

But he just crunched on some of the candy in response. "Oh, these are fucking nasty. Baby, can we please get married?" he rambled, dumping more Skittles into his mouth.

You pushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him there. "Were getting married in like thirty-six hours. Now can you please tell me where you got this money from?"

"Huh?" he grunted like he'd never seen it before. "Oh. Oh, that." Then he casually dumped the rest of the Sour Skittles and chewed them up while you laughed and shook his arm.

"Bradley!"

He swallowed and dropped the wrapper on the floor before pulling you up onto the couch with him. "Jake got tips for stripping, and Nat made him give me the cash."

"I'm sorry, what?" you asked with in shock as you tried to settle into a comfortable position on him.

"They tried to get Daddy Bradshaw up on stage. I pointed to Jake and said it was him."

You couldn't stop laughing now. "But you got the cash?"

"Yeah," he said, eyes drifting closed as he propped his arm behind his head. "A wedding gift. For the honeymoon."

Just as you settled your head on his chest, you popped back up again. "Are we going on a honeymoon?" You started to feel a little apprehensive about going away for an extended trip without Noah while you were pregnant, but Bradley brought his big hand up to settle on your back as he snuggled in a little more.

"Next year. After the baby's born. Anywhere you want to go."

He really did kind of smell like Axe body spray, and he definitely needed to take a shower, but you let him hold you for a few minutes while he slept.

------------------------------

Part 61 will be their wedding! Thanks so much for reading and letting me share this family with you! We're almost to the finish line. Thanks @caitsymichelle13 for the request about the coloring book; stay tuned. And thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 61

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[prettieinpink]

 ♡ PRETTIER HIERARCHY ♡

HAPPY 1.2k+ TO PRETTIEINPINK! Thank you guys for the support, here’s a lil gift from me to you. 

If you don’t want to read all of this, I created a hierarchy of everything you need to do to glow up, right at the end!!! But I recommend reading everything first <3

I’ve been trying to ‘glow up’ like forever, but there was no actual content out there that helped me glow up. Most people sugarcoated, or their lifestyles of glowing up just weren't sustainable for me. So, I created this post for everyone planning to glow up or maximise their prettiness! 

DISCLAIMER – THIS POST IS NOT DETAILED. I wanted to do a simple outline to give you guys an idea of what to do to maximise your pretty. A little help to plan, especially as we enter 2024, but I’ll expand on these individual topics in the future. 

GRADE 1 – HEALTH

Being healthy can make you SO pretty. Being healthy is the foundation. There are other ways to be physically healthy, but after doing these 4 the rest usually fall in place.  Here are some simple ways to become healthier, and then eventually prettier!

HEALTHY EATING.

 I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone + Please consult with your doctor before taking any extreme advice. Though, I'll tell you a bit of things that helped me !!

Stop drinking soda. Please, it's so unhealthy and it's full of so many sugars. Even the ones that are 0 cal, have weird chemicals that I don't trust. Many more alternatives taste just as good, like coconut water, herbal drinks, smoothies etc! Especially because nowadays most large calories and sugar intakes are from sugary drinks 

Stop restricting, moderate it. I am a big fan of dairy, yoghurt, milk, and cheese, I love it all. However I acknowledge that dairy isn’t the healthiest, so instead I always ensure I'm eating in moderation. E.g I put a tablespoon of shredded cheese in my omelettes instead of a handful. You will enjoy healthy eating so much, but only if you're not restricting. 

Have one serving of fruit, vegetables, or both with each meal. It provides so many good nutrients, makes you fuller and keeps you hydrated. Measure with your palm to ensure you’re eating enough. 

Know that just because one food has fewer calories than the other, does not mean it is the healthiest. I struggled so much with this, especially because many weight loss accounts will mention this, but it is so wrong. White bread has fewer calories than brown bread, but brown bread is higher in nutritional value. 

Plan snacks. Planning snacks for throughout the day, instead of spontaneously eating is so much better. I recommend this for anyone who gets hungry during the day but not enough for a meal (like me!)

Drink more water. Not 1L a day, because it is so much more ideal for you to have a glass of water with each meal + when you feel thirsty. 

Start educating yourself. This is as much as I can tell you, im not a nutritionist or a dietitian but if you plan to ensure that healthy eating becomes your lifestyle, educating yourself is essential!! 

EXERCISING.

Once again, I'm only going to go surface level with this because it is only based on my personal experience + Consult with your doctor before doing anything extreme. 

Start aiming for 5k+ steps. I see a lot of people advertise 10k+ steps as the standard, or what's active, but it's not sustainable If you're a busy person with a sedentary life or a beginner at exercise it is gonna be hard to sustain that. But walking is so good for you and simple too.

Join your local sports! Such a fun way to socialise while still exerting energy. 

If you can't do that for whatever reason, there are many ways to exercise at home. Research and pick a workout that you like and is sustainable. E.g. jump rope, pilates, home exercises, weightlifting, biking

Start standing more, it exerts energy. While very little, it still is very good. 

That's it, but remember to always start small with exercising, and RESEARCH!

BETTER SLEEP

To me, it doesn’t matter how much sleep a person is getting, but much more rather the quality of said sleep. So, here are some tricks and tips to get better at sleeping!!

Investing in a good quality pillow is so good for your sleep, the more comfortable you are, the better + it reduces the chances of poor posture or hump necks 

Research about different sleeping positions, as some positions at night promote back pain, difficulty breathing or poor posture. 

Start sleeping in complete darkness. Remove all sources of light or invest in good light-blocking curtains OR binders. Though, binders seem to be much more effective but are more pricey. If you cannot do either of that, buy a good sleeping mask. 

Sleep in the cold. Your body easily falls asleep if your environment is cold, and you’re less likely to wake up in the middle of the night. 

It is ideal for you to stop using devices an hour or two before bed, but if it is not sustainable for you, wear red blue-light-blocking glasses instead of clear ones. Red ones are more effective. 

Avoid large physical or mental tasks before bed, use that time to unwind and tell your body it's time to go to sleep. 

Avoid napping for longer than 30 minutes, or it can disrupt the sleep you have at night. 

Go to sleep at similar times every day. If you go to sleep earlier or later than this, you will ruin your sleep schedule and feel groggy. 

I expand more here. 

ORAL HEALTH

This is a step many people will neglect, but the most important in my opinion. Your teeth are the only body part that fails to regenerate after a certain age. Here's how I take care of mine!

Brush your teeth for longer. Brushing your teeth should not be a sped-up process, put actual thought into it. 

Start flossing. Floss removes plaque, and reduces the chances of your teeth yellowing! Do this ideally after each meal.

Brush your teeth before you eat. Brushing my teeth is the first thing I do when I wake up because brushing your teeth is supposed to protect your teeth from the food, not wash away your food. 

If you have the means, buy an electric toothbrush, as this gets in the little nooks and crannies that a regular one cannot. 

Use a tongue scraper or your toothbrush to get rid of any bacteria on your tongue. 

Use straws to drink coffee or any heavily coloured drinks. This avoids the premature yellowing of teeth. Make sure you put the straw on the side of your mouth to avoid your teeth. 

Use good mouthwash. A total game-changer, makes your breath fresher and your gums healthier. 

If need be, definitely use a purple teeth serum as a whitening treatment.

GRADE 2: STYLE 

I do not mean literal clothes and style, that's in grade 3. This is all about basic grooming and such. This is 2nd most important, especially if you're somebody who’s never been invested in beauty.

SKINCARE 

Get a basic skincare routine, cleanser and moisturiser.

If you have other skincare concerns e.g. dry skin, hyperpigmentation, acne, or blemishes, invest in a serum. 

Avoid touching your face frequently.

Wash makeup brushes & pillowcases often.

Dermaplaning to help skincare absorb better. 

Use sunscreen!

HAIRCARE

 Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner for your hair type.

Use a good hair oil, it doesn’t have to be for growth, but just for nourishing your scalp

Sleep with a good quality bonnet on.

Find which type of hairbrush works the best on you!

Use warm water to remove product build up and dirt, but use cool water to rinse.

Buy spray suncsreen to put on your scalp during hot weather.

Once again, research. Hair is just too much of a broad topic for me to thoroughly talk about.

EYEBROW & LASHES

Trim your eyebrows regularly to avoid too many stray hairs

Tint your eyebrows and lashes. If you already have dark eyelashes and brows, try a lighter look. I seem to prefer a dark brown look to a black 

Invest in a good lash & brow serum or use any oil

Don't use Vaseline on your eyelashes.

 Limit how much you wear mascara. 

I talk more about this here. 

BODY & HANDS 

Have a daily shower routine which consists of washing, exfoliating and moisturising your skin. 

Using scented products is such a game changer, smelling good is like being a magnet 

Doing manicures, my routine is a cuticle scrub, file, buff, polish, paint then cuticle oil. 

Shave on the areas you want to. Having smooth skin is nice, but to ensure your shave lasts longer, watch a video. 

I post about creating a good shower routine here. 

LIPS

Invest in a good, portable lip balm. I prefer the ones that burn your lips to give it a more fuller effect

Make your lip scrub. Sugar, honey and turmeric are my go-to. Helps remove dead skin.

If you have hyperpigmentation around the lips, use glycolic acid, only a little.

GRADE 3 – FASHION

My favourite grade, because it is so fun and focuses more on the aesthetic side of things. However, they're not essential, which makes it all the more fun!

CLOTHES 

 I have a post about wardrobe essentials here. 

Find out about what season colours you are. This helps with using colours in fashion to enhance. ( if you don't like your colours it is okay, it doesn’t change much if you do not wear them) 

Figuring out your undertone colours for jewellery. 

Figure out what works for your figure. Experiment with necklines, bottom length etc. 

Find out your general style too, what you feel confident in and more assured. 

MAKEUP

Research and only watch tutorials of women who look like you (trust me). 

Dear Peachie has a bunch of videos of how makeup works, for beginners to more advanced artists!

Then make your signature look for every using your knowledge. 

FRAGRANCE 

Invest in a good eau de parfum and eau de toilette. Cheap fragrances suck. 

Invest in a good-scented lotion. My favourite brand is Vaseline.

Using a good nice fabric softener for laundry makes you feel and smell fresh

Using an expensive scented body wash doesn’t matter, invest in a good body lotion. 

HAIR STYLING 

Hairstyles that enhance your face shape, not shield it. 

Having a simple signature look for everyday

Experimenting with your hair is ideal, but if you can't for whatever reason once again research.

GRADE 4 – PERSONALITY

The way you seem to others can make you so much prettier. Fake it till you make it as always~

POSTURE

Having good posture makes you stand out, makes you look prettier and is generally good for your health

Chin is parallel to the floor, shoulders are down and relaxed, rib cage is elevated, pelvis is tucked in, your knees straight and flexed, and the weight on your feet should be in the center.

You can stretch for good posture, there are many videos on this on YouTube.

Ensure your sleeping position is promoting good posture, not poor. 

Buy a back brace to reinforce good posture.

BODY LANGUAGE

Learn how to move your body during conversations to seem more self-respected and confident.

Train your facial expressions for different situations, but especially for taking photos.

There are tons of books and videos on this, won’t expand because this is all about how you want others to perceive you. 

ELOQUENCE

Improve the way you communicate with others. Be fluent and clear to understand 

Expand your vocabulary, know how to substitute words on the spot and make sentences. 

Knowing what to say in like any and every conversation makes people like you more, and the best way to be more eloquent is just practice. 

There are so many good books about this.. read.

GRADE 5 – MIND

Personally, having a good mindset does boost your self-perception of your prettiness + being happier in general makes you more inclined to take care of yourself = being more pretty!!!

MENTAL HEALTH

Start journaling as a way to organise your thoughts and to truly analyse your emotions. There are a lot of journaling prompts on Pinterest and such!

Meditation as a way to clear the mind when needed is so good. There are a bunch more meditations for other purposes though like body image, productivity, focus or just general relaxation.

Go to therapy, or just have at least one person you can talk to when life becomes tough.

Cut back on social media. There's misinformation, trolls and a lot of content that isn't nourishing your mind. 

Get some sun! Simple and doable, but has a huge effect on the body. It can improve the current mood. Wear sunscreen. 

Start learning how to process situations, instead of bypassing the emotions that come with them. 

Start surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Seriously, being around people who are just too different is draining. 

MINDSET

Embrace growth and reject all forms of comfort. Being uncomfortable with something is growth. 

Don’t do things because you ‘have’ to do this, do them because they benefit you and see it in that way. E.g ‘I’m going to clean my room because I deserve a clean place to rest and work’ instead of ‘I have to clean my room’

Become detached. Stop letting everything that happens in your life affect you, start observing instead of consuming. 

Self validates yourself. Tam Kaur did a wonderful video on this that I think everyone should watch.

Stop believing that everything and everyone is out to get you. Your subconscious mind believes this, do not feed it, starve it.

There's a lot to say about mindset, but I recommend watching some mindset YouTubers who explain everything in depth.

and now,,,, here's a ANOTHER gift from lanny because u read her post. And liked it. And reblogged it. And followed her.. pleaseee

[sulumuns-dootah]

Taking the WHB demons (+ angels) to the Zoo

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: It's my b-day! And as a treat to myself I went to visit a local Zoo so ofc I'll write about how our demons (+ angels) would behave if they got to go too! ^^

Characters: All of the demons + the Seraphs

   ༺☆༻

With Satan in your group, you don't have to worry about being suffocated in a crowd of people. In a true Satan fashion, they all get a healthy dose of his boots to their behinds if they get even remotely close. And no, children are not safe from him.

Sitri is the snacks and drinks provider. No need to buy overpriced slushies and ice-cream when as soon as you get a craving, something sweet is being handed to you.

As unathletic as Leraye is, you'll see him speedwalking from an enclosure to enclosure. Oh, but if the Zoo has a tropical house with storm sounds for the immersive ambiance? Good luck getting him out of there.

Paimon takes photos of everything and anything. Every few enclosures has to take a break to pick out the best photos and delete the rest to clear out space for more.

Interestingly, Belial - or moreso Jjyu is really quiet. Maybe because someone told him that if he doesn't learn his manners, he might end up as food for one of the animals. This also might be the first time Belial has had such peace and quiet since he first got Jjyu.

Please, tell Astaroth to keep his snake at home in advance. The last thing anyone wants is to argue with the staff that it's really his snake and that he didn't steal it.

You barely notice Zagan even being there. Well, if he didn't leave his talismans everywhere, that is. Despite being practically expresionless, you can see him softly smile while watching animals do something cute.

Ppyong acts like a toddler. In the beginning he'll fly around all excited, happily exclaiming at the actions of the animals. Then he gets all tired and whiny, so Zagan someone has to carry him around. Once he's all rested up, it's back to square one

   ༺☆༻

"Oh, that's you favorite animal? M'kay, gimme a second to look up how much it costs." - Mammon

"Look at them, all they do is lay around and do nothing and we still have to pay to see them!" - Bimet

Eligos nearly buy out the plushies in the souvenir shop. Can't balme him, tho, they're usually super cute (and expensive x.x).

Do you feel guilty for dragging everyone around just to see your favorite animals? Valerfor is more than happy to be dragged around! Just give him enough time to read the info plaque so the two of you can have an interesting convo later.

   ༺☆༻

Oh boy is it hard to get Leviathan to come with you. And honestly, I wouldn't recommend at all. The people make him anxious and the fact that the animals get all of your attention instead of him? How he wishes he could hang them all.

Foras is probably the best Hades noble to visit with. He's eager to see all the animals the place has to offer. Also doesn't mind being dragged around.

Scheduling tip: make sure the day is overcast. If it's rainy, Barbatos will refuse to go anywhere. If it's sunny, there's no way you can keep his clothes on and with all the kids around... yikes.

Glasyalabolas will hang around the predators and vultures. If he's not there, he's probably about, scaring unattended children.

A Zoo is an amazing place to release Orias back into the wilderness. Just let him loose to disappear amongst all the other children at the playground. There's a chance that some unfortunate parent will mistake him for their own kid and take him home.

   ༺☆༻

Beelzebub is excited to try out all the food at the food court/restaurant within the Zoo. If there's a queue, he'll just walk up to the front. In such case is handy to have Satan with you to kick everyone out of the way.

Our poor Bael tries to coordinate the whole trip with you. The whole time he's holding an itinerary with time spans that you can spend on certain sections so you can catch as much commented feedings as possible.

Stolas has you to stop at every stall with snacks. So what, Sitri has a whole bag of them? Those he can have anytime, but these are only available at the Zoo (they're not)

The only one who's allowed to tour the Zoo on his own, separate from the group is Naberius, because nobody's willing to stop at every enclosure so he can read the plaques and commit them to memory. The only ones he avoids are canines bc they count as his family or smth and he hates to see them caged.

Oh lord the amount of times you've accidentally left Amon behind because he fell asleep while sitting somewhere in shade on a bench. Only once Beel returns from his food tasting will Amon stick with the group, so he can spend time by his side.

   ༺☆༻

Similar to Glasyalabolas, Ronove likes to hang around vultures and animals known to scare people. If there's a night exhibition, he'd also enjoy that. Partially because when people get startled when they enter a room and see him just silently standing there.

Phenix is kinda a hard one. Obviously, in their state it's difficult to go out anywhere in the human world. They agree, so they're content wiht just seeing Paimon's photos.

Another demon, who better be left at home is Dantalian. Sure, he can pass as a human, but you'd have to have him on a leash or keep an eye on him constantly. The moment he's out of your sight, he'll just try to get into an enclosure of some dangerous animal.

   ༺☆༻

Taking out Belphegor could be actually funny. Get him a wheelchair and take turns witht he rest of your group pushing him around. Just make sure to not leave him anywhere, just like Amon.

Beleth loves the house of felines. He's the exact opposite of Naberius. He's aware how endangered some large cat breeds are and he's happy to see some of his nearly extinct relatives safely protected.

Our floor gremlin Gusion has the answer to every question you might have about an animal. How? He's literally looking at the plaque rn. (*tired side-eye*)

A trip? Bathin very much cuncurs. Actually, why even go to a local Zoo when you can go to the one at the other side of the country? But don't get surprised if he gets a bit too excited iykwim.

Andrealphus spends most of the time in an area dedicated to bees and showcasing beekeeping. (my zoo has it and it's super adorable) Most of the animal enclosures have a stench to them and the pollinating flowers are so soothing to him. Also there's something about the constant buzzing that helps calm his mind.

As long as Belphegor doesn't go, Agares is happy to join you. He's taken over his country and now he would like to take over your attention? Not happening. It's either him or Belphie.

And as a loyal servant, Vassago refuses to go anywhere if his king is not going either. If you end up going with these two, however, I would avoid commented feeding since they could technicaly count as a speech.

   ༺☆༻

Being there since the begining, Lucifer's seen all the animals on earth as they were made by God, so he doesn't really see a reason to go to a Zoo, but eventually agrees to go when the others keep talking about it.

Morax is the best demon to take with you. All animals tend to naturally flock to him and so whenever you approach an enclosure, the animal will walk as close to him as it can, giving you the best view and if it's safe to, you can even pet it.

Big cat lover no.2 AKA Marbas! Will wait unti it's the cats' feeding time and then just watch as they tear their meal apart (it's usually a whole dead rabbit from what I've seen).

Buer would much more preffer a quiet getaway to maybe do some yoga or meditation, but nobody really asks him. As long as it makes you happy, he's happy to tag along. You'll probably find him later on with Adrealphus in the bee field.

Ooh, Gamigin loves snakes! They remind him of dragons (notice how he doesn't think they're related). "Wow, look at that one! I was that size when I was about 1000 years old!"

   ༺☆༻

Gabriel will most definitely decline your invitation to come along from the get go, so here's what you do: instead of a trip to a Zoo, you tell him that you're going a place where humans celebrate all the different types of God's creations. If he actually endures the whole schebang is a whole different question, though.

Been there, seen the animals before. Michael isn't interested in going anywhere where humans congregate. Though, it would make wiping them out easier.

Raphael is actually happy to go along with you. The whole experience is like reading a book witht he author's commentary. "Oh, that one was my idea. Can you tell?", "Yeah, I was telling Michael that it was a bad idea, but he wouldn't listen.", "Ahah, that one is scary to you? Gabriel made that one!"

[oddballwriter]

The Sweetest Thing

Summary: Your hobby of baking causes an issue for the boys. Not because of anything with you, it's a matter of control with themselves.

Warnings: Nothing really.

Author’s Snip: I bake as a hobby and while making brownies earlier I thought this up.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 816

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction (you can join the taglist, just ask)

It was a problem. Not for you. You were just acting out your hobby of baking and there was nothing wrong with that at all. The problem was with the boys and the fact that they couldn’t resist eating whatever you baked. Whether it be brownies, cookies, cupcakes, bonbons, pies, anything.

You wouldn’t call yourself a top baker, but the boys always sang your praises and wanted the first taste every time. But you seem to always have something freshly baked and fresh out the oven.

Steven was the least likely to tell you no when you offered him a piece of what you’ve made, always having the subconscious intuition to start baking so that when it was all ready it could be pair with his tea. And it would be nice to have something with his tea. And you always go through the trouble of using a vegan recipe.

“Oh, I really shouldn’t.” Steven says to himself as you offer him a few cookies you just finished, “I can’t be eating so much sugar all the time.” he warns himself. “Just one won’t hurt.” Steven excuses.

But one turns into two, and then an extra third that he didn't realize he was eating until he was just about done with it.

"So much for 'just one'." Steven scolds himself.

"At least I know that they were good," you remark.

"Thank you for letting me try them though, love. They were delicious. But next time I'll just grab one and leave the rest of the container alone." Steven says.

It's worse when Marc just got done working out. Gained some muscle, shed a good amount of calories. But then he walks in and the flat smells like a damn bakery. Out of all of the days and times that you could have baked, you chose the day that Marc goes to the gym and the time he comes home. And you're there smiling at him.

"What's for dessert this time?" Marc asks as he walks over to you and kisses you on the cheek. "You giggle, "Cinnamon rolls, I found an easy-to-follow recipe a few days ago and wanted to give it a try." you explain.

Marc sighs, "Why do you always have to make something to make me regain all the calories I just lost?" he questions. "You don't have to eat them today if you don't want to." you say, "Plus, they aren't done yet. They need to be done baking and I need to make the frosting." you add.

"You can have one once they're complete and cooled down." you offer him. "That's the issue. If you're the one who made them then I'll get up eating more than one." Marc explains.

"Sometimes having a little bit of a little snack pouch is okay as long as you're healthy." you half-joke.

Jake hardly does anything about it though. He couldn't care less if he gained a pound or two if it meant getting to enjoy your baking. Matter of fact he's right there when you bake. Arms wrapped around your body while you measure and mix, but he hardly really helps in your opinion.

"Are you just going to hold me the whole time or are you going to do something?" you question playfully. "I help by licking the spoons and bowls." Jake replies.

You huff in amusement before picking up the teaspoon that you used a second ago, "Then do me a favor and 'clean' this for me." you request as you hand it to him. Jake takes it and gives it one lick before trying to spit in an immediate reaction. "What the hell was that?" Jake exclaims. "I used that for the vanilla extract." you say simply.

"That was mean." Jake says with a fake pout. "You saw me use it a second ago, I don't know how you fell for that." you laugh.

"I just like watching you work, I don't pay attention to what exactly you're putting in. You could poison it right in front of me and I probably won't catch it at first." Jake says before he slightly changes the subject.

"Speaking of watching you bake. I would love to help you open up a little bakery and have a little section where I can watch you make everything." Jake mentions as he holds you closer and kisses your neck. "I don't think I'm that much of a baker that I could have a business." you comment.

"I'd disagree. I think once someone gets a taste of what you make then they'd be flocking for a single piece." Jake says.

"Jake I use recipes I find online and then write down if I like them." you mention.

"Well then maybe it's time that you experiment with making your own." Jake fires back, "I can taste test for you while you try to nail it." he suggests.

[being-addie]

Morning Routines

We're all looking at those Instagram influencers who somehow manage to wake up at 5 am, do meditation, journal, do a 15-step Korean skincare routine, and go to the gym. And then they make a green smoothie and avocado toast, get dressed in a Chanel outfit and then sit at their fancy desk with a vanilla latte and a croissant.

This is not realistic. You probably already know that, but it likely won't stop you from trying to change your routine bit by bit to look a little like theirs. That didn't stop me, at least.

But now I've come to realise that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to have a routine like the ones I see online. Because it doesn't exist. It's all curated for aesthetic appeal and generates a sense of false productivity in the watcher's brain. We feel motivated looking at those videos and never get around to changing our own life because we're too busy living vicariously through our phones.

Here's some things you should add to your morning routine, not to be fancy, but to feel better. This is coming from someone who's tried the unrealistic routines, and I now incorporate all of these into my routine. You can skip or add things according to your schedule.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H: Do your body a favour and loosen up your muscles. Nothing better than having a good stretch that wakes your body up.

Drink water: Before you put anything in your system, drink water. Not coffee, not tea. Plain warm water. And I don't mean lemon water. Some people might not agree, but lemon water strips your teeth of the enamel. It also is acidic, so all that bullshit they talk about it being "alkaline and pH balancing" is nonsense. Warm water is the way to go.

Make your bed: A clean bed should be the first thing you do after you wake up. At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself because it will be clean, and fresh and you can fall into bed immediately.

Hygiene: Wash your face to get rid of crusty eyes and sleep. Do a basic skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer) so you'll feel fresher. Brush your teeth and hair.

Move your body: It doesn't matter what you do, even if it's for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, do a Zumba workout, or squeeze in a HIIT session. You can find lots of tutorials on YouTube (Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Chloe Ting). Either way, working out will help you feel more motivated and happier. It's the endorphins.

Clean yourself: Set aside some time for showering, slathering on lotion, and doing your (real) skincare and makeup routine. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Eat something: ALWAYS make some food. Your body has been famished for hours on end, give it some fuel. Make a healthy breakfast, or prep one the night before. If you don't get very hungry in the mornings, have a banana, and pack a mid-morning snack beforehand so you don't reach for chips.

Do 3 things: Make a to-do list of everything you need to do today. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then, knock off 3 easy tasks from the list that you can do quickly. You'll be filled with a sense of motivation, and it'll be easier for you to complete your list. It can be chores, it could be some assigned reading. Just get it done.

Gratitude or prayer: You don't need to sit for 15 minutes to practice gratitude. You can think of things your thankful for on the way to school or work or practice deep breathing/say a small prayer on the subway or bus. You don't HAVE to do it, but it definitely makes you realise how much you have in life and appreciate it more.

Kindness: Start your day with kindness. Compliment your barista, smile at the old lady on the street, pet the stray cat. There's so much love in the world, and you have so much love inside you, and it's beautiful to be a part of it.

No longer will I be stuck in a rut. I cannot be confined to being a bitter, unhealthy person when I know there's a smiling, healthy, happy version of me in the future. Deep breaths. You'll get there babe.

<3

[i-cant-sing]

I was rereading some of your works and this line stuck out to me

‘Enji is keeping up with all your cravings, no matter how weird. You're craving ice chips? Alright. You want ice cream at 3 am? The fridge is stocked with your favs. Oh no, you want soft serve? Its okay, princess, I'll drive us there. I'm sure they'll open the store for the no. 1 hero.’

I immediately pictured him, banging on the front door of the shop, absolutely panicked because his “baby” is hungry for ice cream and is worried that she’ll cry because of pregnancy hormones

HAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSS and like u can't blame him??? He's already so protective of you as his daughter, but not that you're pregnant with Ratsuki's baby, his protectiveness increases ten folds. Who knows what that devil's spawn is doing to your poor body???? How much pain you're in because of Ratsuki's baby????

Ugh, he just- even if you tell him how excited you are to gave this baby, Enji just can't stop fretting over you because you're his baby! Always were, and always will be!

Yandere dad Enji with pregnant daughter reader is literally so cute because there is nothing that will stop this man from making sure that you are healthy and comfortable and yes, he will still hold you whenever you're feeling down, baby bump or not, you weigh nothing to him🥰

You're feeling emotional and end up calling Enji (instead of Katsuki cause he's busy with work) and he hears a wobble in your voice? BAm, papa is at your door step in 10 minutes with ice cream and snacks and warm cuddles. Feel free to bitch about Katsuki to him (actually dont, he will kill him)

Ever since you got married and moved in with Katsuki, Enji had been missing your company. And once you had returned from your honeymoon and visited him, he realised just how terribly he missed you. So of course he grabs any opportunity to spend time with you. Baby checkup? Okay, papa Enji is coming to pick you up. Grocery shopping? How odd that he's also out of groceries. Cmon, lets shop together, and maybe some cute (SUPER EXPENSIVE, LUXURY BRANDED) maternity and baby clothes to spoil you. Nothing to do at home? Well, you can always help out dad at his work! Enji's sending a car to drive you to his company 🥰 And its like, even if you do have plans with Katsuki, Enji will pull some strings to make sure that Katsuki gets stuck at work while you sulk at home, awaiting your husband. But Enji will come to console you, cry on his shoulder baby. Sometimes, Enji will drop by unannounced, especially if he finds out that you're spending the weekend with Katsuki's parents. He'll be bringing in a boquet, kissing you on the cheek, before wrapping his coat around you, telling you that you must come home with him right away. And you're all like "??? Dad! I'm here with my in laws. I cant just up and leave-!" And he pulls the big sad eyes and says "Its Rei." and you automatically sigh and nod before going to apologise to Kats parents for cancelling your plans with them, claiming there's a "family emergency", which isnt a lie because yandere Rei is an EMERGENCY at all times. Its just, you've always known your mother's mental health was detoriating, but the rate at which it detoriated increased ten folds when you moved out. She's always been protective of you, because of all the trauma and because you're her youngest, so of course... she took it the hardest when you left her side to be with Katsuki. And before your marriage, you swore to your father that you'll always be there to help him with Mom, whenever needed, no questions asked. Its the only reason Enji gave you his blessing marry RATsuki. So whenever he misses you too much, he tells you that Rei is having another "episode" where she's screaming your name, crying that someone took you away and is hurting you, is resorting to harming herself, etc. And sometimes Rei does have these epiosdes, other times she doesnt, but it doesnt matter to either of them because if they want u home, you will come. And as soon as Enji has brought you to the Todoroki estate, your're running (or waddling) inside, immeadiately engulfed by your mother who will now proceed to coddle you and fret over you non stop for the next couple of days (spoon feeding you her food, brushing your hair until you dose off, rubbing your baby bump while humming lullabies. Enji's having the best time too becuase he gets to tuck you in at night and wake u in the morning and have more daddy-daughter ice cream dates with yall) until she's better or... well, your husbands comes to fetch you.

And Rat- KATSUKI, sees through all their BULLSHIT! But you dont and thats why he cant call them out on it. Thats why he must be the more patient one between him and your greedy parents.

[slptkns]

Predicament

[Aether/AFAB!Reader/Dewdrop]

Summary: After several instances of being oblivious, you are faced with the fact that Aether and Dewdrop like you. Both of them happen to be going through their rut at the same time, giving you the perfect opportunity to help help them.

Warnings: OH BOY 18+!!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Oral (f! and m! receiving!), PiV sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, threesome, not so friendly ghoul banter (they love each other i promise), horribly translated italian probably (please let me know if i forgot one, I'm forgetful and do not mind fixing it!!)

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: I love all the nameless ghouls, so i'll be writing more! This is my first fic for Aether and/or Dewdrop, so please go a lil easy on me thanks! This started out as something silly and became something way more than I imagiened.

You were sitting in the Ghouls’ den, snacking on some fruit Copia had gotten for you. You were sprawled across the loveseat, and noticed Aether and Dewdrop staring at you. You looked at them and tossed a grape in your mouth.

“Would you like some, Aether?” You asked him first, as he was closest.

“Why not.”

You leaned over and put out the bowl of fruit towards him. He picked out a raspberry and plopped it in his mouth. You smiled widely at him and looked at Dewdrop. You sweetly asked if he would like some as well.

“No thank you.”

And it was in that moment, you decided you were going to fuck with him. You pouted at him and pulled the bowl back towards you. You huffed and looked at him through your lashes, angrily. “Is it not good enough for you?”

“I said ‘no thank you’-” Dewdrop was confused, and you immediately interrupted him. “It’s healthy for you!” “I’m being polite!” He snapped at you. And when you frowned at him, he sighed. “Fine. Give me a fucking strawberry.”

Your frown dropped and you stood up, giving him a deadpan look. You walked past Aether and over to Dewdrop. You grabbed a strawberry from the bowl and Dewdrop extended his hand towards you. You, while still showing no emotions, stuck the strawberry in your mouth. You harshly sucked on it, and then pulled it from your mouth. The ‘pop’ echoed throughout the room.

“Here ya go.” You gave him a shit eating grin.

There was a heavy silence, Aether and Dewdrop both watching you. Aether looked from you, and then to Dew, seemingly knowing what he was about to do. Dew snatched the strawberry from your hand and threw the whole thing in his mouth. He looked up at you from his seat and you watched in horror as he swallowed the strawberry you had just sucked on.

Aether let out the loudest laugh you had ever heard when you turned to him with nothing but pure terror in your eyes.

“That strawberry was actually better than a regular one, cara. Grazie.”

“I don’t know why you expected something different!” Aether was almost doubled over at the look on your face.

“I- I just-”

Aether calmed himself and gave you a soft look. But, you could tell whatever was about to come out of his mouth was going to deal psychic damage to you. “Can I try one like that?”

You inhaled sharply and looked around for a way out. “I think I just heard the Cardinal calling,” You began to make your way towards the exit of the ghouls’ den. “I’ll, uh, see you later.”

A few days later, you were caught up with Dewdrop and Aether again. It was slightly more normal. Until it wasn’t.

You were goofing off with them, messing around after one of the rituals. You were back in the ghouls' den, and had been hanging out with all of the ghouls after their celebration. You were slightly tipsy and having the time of your life.

You hiccuped and let out a little laugh. Dewdrop’s head snapped towards you, and he asked if you were alright.

“Yeah, why?”

“I thought you gagged.”

“Oh no,” You shook your head, and smiled, “I don’t even think I have a gag reflex.”

Everyone stopped and turned towards you. You were too tipsy to even care that they were staring. You furrowed your brows and, unknown to you, Aether and Dewdrop tensed. You may have missed it, but the other ghouls did not.

“What do you mean ‘you think’?” Swiss questioned you, “Isn’t that something you’re supposed to just know?”

You shrugged. “Haven’t had to gag in a while, it’s like…  way back there though.”

The ghouls were losing their minds. Swiss crouched towards you, extended two fingers, and outstretched his arm, laughing. “I can test it for you.”

When you responded with an ‘okay’ and an open mouth, Swiss wasn’t sure how to respond. Dewdrop and Aether sure did know how though. Aether pulled you away from Swiss and Dewdrop inserted himself between you and the other ghoul. You let out a giggle and fell back into Aether’s arms.

“I think it’s time you retire to bed, cara,” Aether looked at Swiss with an anger you did not register. Swiss gasped and plopped back down on his ass.

“Why, we’re having fun! I wanted to play games! I mean, I thought we were still celebrating.”

“We can play them next time.” Dewdrop’s eyes did not leave Swiss. “There will be plenty more times to celebrate.”

When you did register that you were still in Aether’s arms, you were sure they could hear your heart begin to race. You almost sobered, almost. You tried to stand and Dewdrop helped you up.

“Maybe I do need to rest.”

And with that, you left, headed back to your room.

The next day, you woke up remembering the night before. You lied in bed and groaned. You sat up and scratched your head, wondering why the fuck you were going to let Swiss gag you. You ignored that and got up, getting ready for the day.

You walked towards Copia’s room and once you reached it you knocked on the doorframe. He sat there playing his game and once your knock resonated through the room he looked over and paused it. He waved you in and you obliged. He motioned for you to sit down and he immediately grew uncomfortable.

“Um,” He rubbed his hands down his clothed thighs and you furrowed your brows at him, “I wanted to warn you.” Then he paused.

“Copia?” You cocked your head, “You can’t say that then stop talking! What’s wrong?”

“A few of the ghouls, uh,” he couldn’t look you in the eyes, “they are going through it-”

“Can I help? Which ones-”

“No, I don’t think you should. They are in their ruts right now, it may be dangerous for you.” You wanted to intervene and reassure him they wouldn’t harm you, but Copia seemed to understand you were about to say that. “I know they would never intentionally hurt you, but this is for everyone’s good, amore.”

You quickly remembered what a rut was and began to ask a question. You were stopped.

“Please do not ask me any more questions about it.” Copia was uneasy, “Now, if you don’t mind, there is cleaning that could be done-”

“Yes, sir,” You got up and excused yourself from his room. You were going to find out more about this from someone else.

Your mind was reeling. You had been cleaning here and there, while also keeping an eye out for someone, anyone you could ask about the ‘ruts’. You had seen Sister Imperator first, but decided that approaching her about it was a horrible idea, so you gave her a gentle smile when she spotted you and kept going on about your business.

Then, your eyes hit Swiss. He was out and about, so he was definitely not being affected by a rut. You approached him with an awkward smile and the memories of his fingers coming for your mouth resurfaced. He gave you his toothy grin when he saw you and noticed you wanted to talk so he began to make his way towards you.

“Swiss,” Your paused, lips slightly parting, then closing again. You decided to get right into it. “What’s a rut, and who’s going through it right now?”

Swiss grinned wider, if possible, and seemed absolutely ready to have this talk with you. “I’m not sure where you heard that, but I’m assuming you aren’t allowed in the den right now, are you?” When you shook your head Swiss let out a guttural laugh, “Ghouls, we have heats or ruts. Aether and Dewdrop are going through their ruts right now.”

“I’m assuming that means, they’re just extra horny? Why can’t I go in there? I like hanging out with all of you-”

Swiss laughed louder, cutting you off. “They’re not just horny, cara (Y/N), they’re looking for a mate. They will do anything and everything to get one, and it wouldn’t be very pretty if they started fighting over a human. Especially one they both adore.”

“They adore me?”

Swiss grabs your shoulder, “You’re so funny!” His grip tightened a little bit, “Oh, you’re being serious… I thought it was obvious with how they acted- You want to go in there don’t you…?”

You gave him a small smile and nodded.

“Well, you’re lucky you found me first. I’m already fucking tired of them moaning and wailing out for you. And no one else is in the den right now, should be easy getting in.”

You nodded and began to follow him down the hall towards their den. You weren’t sure how much you believed the ‘wailing’ thing at first. Swiss did seem annoyed, but it had only been overnight their ruts really hit, how long could they have been wailing for anyway?

When you reached the door of the den, Swiss fished for a key to unlock it. He looked back at you and his eyes peered at you through his mask, “Are you sure? No turning back once you’re in there. You’ll be locked in.”

You bit the inside of your lip and nodded. Swiss unlocked the door and opened it for you. You walked in and the door was immediately slammed behind you, a click coming from the otherside, indicating it had been locked. You inhaled sharply and stood there a moment, back against the door.

Your eyes scanned the area and you noticed how trashed it was. It looked like someone, presumably Aether, had turned it upside down. You took a step forward, then you heard it. The screams, or ‘wailing’ as Swiss referred to it. It was haunting. You realized Dewdrop was the one howling out for you and your stomach flipped. Your heart was in your throat and your breathing was heavy.

Then it went silent.

The howling, the creaking. Everything stopped. You turned back to the door and jiggled the knob, really testing if Swiss had locked it. Definitely locked. You rested your forehead against the door and let out a soft whine.

Closing your eyes, you exhaled slowly. Then you felt it. Something was pressed against your back and hands were on either side of you on the door, blocking you from leaving. Your eyes shot open and you froze.

“Hi?” You couldn’t even turn around, but you knew it was Aether caging you in. You could tell by his forearms alone.

“What are you doing?” His voice growled into your ear. Every bit of air pushed itself from your lungs. His nose hit your shoulder, the one Swiss had grabbed, and you heard another growl. You realized he wasn’t wearing his mask and your heart was pounding against your ribcage. “Swiss let you in?”

You nodded, no words coming out. Aether nuzzled your neck and inhaled your scent. “I think you would smell more delightful without his scent on you.”

“Aether!” A loud howl came from across the room and down the hall. Dewdrop.

You felt Aether shift, but you did not dare move. You had never seen one of them without their masks, much less two of them. You did not want to intrude. Even though you most definitely already were. “Who’s fucking heartbeat-” He stopped. His footsteps, his words, everything stopped.

“Oh, by Lucifer…” Dewdrop knew it was you. You let out a nervous laugh and felt Aether growl against you. Your eyes widened and you remembered what Swiss had said. You did not want them to fight.

Aether moved, facing Dewdrop, and you stood there. Dewdrop let out a low guttural noise and you knew it was about to get ugly. “Wait!” You yelled, still facing the door, forehead against it, and eyes shut. They both stopped and looked back at you. You could feel their eyes on you. “I didn’t ask to come in here for you two to kill each other over me.”

“You asked to come in here?” Dewdrop snorted.

“Yes, I heard the den was off limits, and Copia wouldn’t share why other than ‘some ghouls are going through it’, so I asked Swiss-”

“Swiss?”

“And he explained that you two were in ruts, and I asked for him to let me in. So I could help… Help the both of you.”

“You won’t even look at us,” Dewdrop snarled, “How are you supposed to help?”

“I thought it’d be inappropriate to look at you without permission-”

Both of them laugh, “Inappropriate? You’re throwing yourself at us. And you don’t want to be inappropriate?”

“Well, yeah…” You pouted. “I mean, I can call Copia and get him to come let me out-” They both growled at that. You smiled to yourself.

“Turn around.” They both spoke at the same time.

You were slow to do so. Your arms fell from the door and to your sides. You inhaled shakily and exhaled loudly. Your eyes locked with Aether’s first, and then with Dew’s. Both of their eyes were dark, full of a hunger and lust you had never, ever seen before. Your back hit the heavy door and you stared at them. They wore nothing but boxers. And you could tell that they had to put those on to even come out to see you.

Dewdrop smirked at you. “Aw,” He feigned sympathy, “not having second thoughts are we?”

“No.” You snapped back at him.

“If you do, let us know. I’m not sure you are aware of how serious this is…” Aether looked at Dewdrop.

“I mean, you just wanna fuck, right?” Everything Swiss had told you earlier had gone in one ear and out of the other. Dewdrop and Aether looked at each before looking back at you. Dewdrop took a step forward, predator towards prey, and you could not back up any further.

“Oh, amore mio,” Dewdrop’s voice dropped, leaving you weak in the knees. He placed his fingers under your chin, getting you to look at him, and he continued. “We are not just wanting to fuck, we are looking for a mate. And that just so happens to be you-” He angles your neck up further, causing your breath to hitch.

“What does that entail… Exactly?”

Dew swallowed hard at the thought, “Well, a ghoul’s mate is serious. You would become mi-” He stops himself when Aether growls at him, “Ours.” Dewdrop rolled his eyes.

“Okay,” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“Okay?” Dewdrop questioned you.

“I’m all yours. Both of yours.”

That was enough to send them into a frenzy. They were both on you in an instant and you were sent reeling. Dewdrop was quick to pull you from the door and go for your mouth, his tongue easily slipping between your lips. Aether, on the other hand, ended up behind you and attacking your neck; his fangs almost breaking your skin.

Nails clawed you and you easily became puddy between the two of them. You moaned into Dew’s mouth as Aether nipped your soft flesh. He smiled into the kiss. One of your hands grabbed Dew’s left forearm, while the other reached back for Aether. You needed to know it was real, that it was really happening.

Dew pulled away and looked down at you. His hands cupped your face and tilted your head back, in turn, leaving your neck more exposed, giving Aether more places to bite and suck on. Dew placed his nose to yours and ever so slightly tilted his head.

“You taste way sweeter than that strawberry,” He smiled at you. He looked towards Aether, “Would you like to try?”

No answer was needed. Of course he wanted to try. You leaned back for him and Aether eagerly kissed you. His hand moved to cup your cheek and you realized how much gentler he was than Dewdrop. He was still slightly rough, but he seemed to be more careful, to have more control, than Dew.

Dewdrop momentarily stepped back, and you turned your body to Aether, getting wrapped in him instead. You cupped his face and deepened the kiss. Your hands fell to his neck and slid around it.

“Ok,” Dewdrop snarled, “That’s enough.”

No response. You kept kissing Aether. Dew’s lip twitched and he let out a low hiss. Once again, no stopping. As if Aether was about to let you go, after all that waiting. But, Dew had done his waiting as well.

His hands moved towards your hips and he pulled your ass towards him. He let out a low grumble in your ear and began to grind against you. Dew, Aether, and you were going at it against the door. Leaving all of you out in the open. That didn’t really bother Aether or Dewdrop. But, you on the other hand, were very vulnerable already.

“Excuse me!” A bang came from the other side of the door.

Your eyes shot open and you pulled back from Aether. Cumulus…

“You’re in the way! I’m assuming that’s Aether… And-” She stopped. “Oh… there’s another- Oh.”

You swallowed hard and Aether pulled you from Dew’s grasp, the other ghoul’s nails scraping you as you left his reach. Dewdrop looked ready to attack as Aether began leading you away.

“You can come in now.”

The door slowly opened. Cumulus picked up her pace, stepped in, and slammed the door behind her. She began to walk towards you and Aether, when Dewdrop snarled at her.

“Don’t-” She snarled back. “Sister is looking for (Y/N).”

“It can wait,” Aether and Dewdrop responded, one response a little more violent than the other.

“What did she need?” You tried to turn to ask but as soon as you stopped walking Aether picked you up and kept going.

“I’m just the messenger. I don’t know. Seemed important though.”

“It can wait,” you replied this time, causing Dewdrop and Aether to smile.

Cumulus grumbled a ‘whatever’. You weren’t sure if she’d cover for you, but you didn’t care. Not at the time. That was something for future you to worry about. You heard the heavy door shut and lock again.

“I think it’s funny how they lock you in-” You giggled as you reached Aether’s large room.

“It’s to keep people like you out.” Dewdrop informed you.

“People like-” You’re stopped. Aether set you down, steadying you and you looked at him and Dewdrop. They both watched you with an amount of lust you were sure a human would not be able to feel. Your stomach flipped and your legs buckled. “How do you wanna do this?”

The weight of the situation at hand hit and you were positive your brain briefly short circuited. You were in front of two ghouls, ready to give yourself to them, body and soul. And they were more than willing to take it. While you were fully clothed –you knew that wasn’t going to last much longer– you still felt vulnerable.

Your arms wrapped around you, tightly, and your eyes fell from theirs and hit the ground. Dewdrop and Aether tensed, very quickly picking up that you were suddenly very closed off.

“Are you needing to leave?”

“Cumulus literally just locked that big ass door!” You answered without thinking. “But-” You put your hands up, “no, I do not need to leave. I was just,” Your hands fell to your sides, “I’m very excited!” You knew they could tell that. “I’m also- Uh, I’ve never done something like this before.” You motioned to the ghouls.

“Non preoccuparti, amore. We will take care of you.”

“You’ll never want to be with any human ever again.” Dewdrop dripped confidence. You believed him, you knew it wasn’t just the confidence. “Now,” Dewdrop stepped towards you, “how about we get you out of your clothes?”

You let out a squeak instead of an actual answer, and nodded. Aether and Dew were on you once more. Tearing at your clothes, like rabid animals, it wasn’t long before you were standing there in your underwear. Aether had dropped down to his knees, littering kisses across your soft stomach and making his way towards your panties. Dewdrop was kissing you, ravenously, bruising your lips.

You were brought back to reality when you felt your panites being pulled down your legs. Your legs clenched out of instinct and Aether’s large hands gently pulled them back apart. You let out a soft mewl as his fingers pushed past your folds and into you. With half lidded eyes, you looked down at Aether. He was kissing your thighs, one of his fingers moving in and out of you.

Dewdrop’s lips moved to your jawline, and up to your ear. He nipped your earlobe before whispering into your ear. “Sei bellissima, amore mio, and you are going to look even more beautiful sucking my cock.”

You did not argue. In fact, you nodded in agreement. As Dewdrop stepped back from you, Aether shifted under you. Suddenly, he was lying flat on his back and he was holding you above his face. You gasped at the change and then realized Aether and Dewdrop must have been on the same wavelength..

You were at eye level with Dew’s now exposed cock. Your thighs were tense as you held yourself above Aether’s face. His hands were on your outer thighs, holding you himself, but you were all the sudden self conscious and could not relax. His grip tightened and he brought you down to his mouth.

Dewdrop’s hands tangled in your hair, “Relax, Aether would rather enjoy you sitting on his face.” His words made your breath catch in your throat. You swallowed hard and allowed yourself to fully relax. As soon as you did, you did not regret it. Aether’s tongue was working wonders on you. You reached out for Dewdrop, to hold onto something, and his hips were the first thing you grabbed.

Dewdrop took his chance. “How about we check that gag reflex?” His chest rumbled. You looked up at him through your lashes and he smirked down at you. You were eager to take him in your mouth once you were able to concentrate on something other than Aether licking stripes up your pussy.

One of your hands moved from Dew’s hip and to his dick. You held the base of it and licked up the vein. You looked up at him as you took him all the way in your mouth and he reached the back of your throat. You let out a loud moan, Aether’s thumb connecting with your clit, and Dewdrop lost his cool momentarily.

Dew’s hips bucked and he was fucking the back of your throat. Your jaw went slack and you choked as his hand, tangled in your hair, kept you at a steady pace. Tears pricked your eyes, everything easily becoming too much. The feeling of having your clit sucked while being throat fucked was one you hoped could be reoccuring.

“Fuck,” Dewdrop hissed, his hips bucking a little harder as he came close to cumming. You let out a guttural noise, sending Dew over the edge. He came inside your mouth and tried to swallow as best you could, but some escaped, slipping down your chin and onto your chest.

“I’m gonna-” Your eyes rolled in the back of your head, Aether’s tongue not slowing. Your hands fell from Dewdrop and onto the floor, a little above Aether’s head. Your eyes locked with his and you let out a sob, your orgasm hitting hard and fast.

Your stomach knotted and every inch of you was tensing. You cried out for Aether, sure that if the ghouls’ den wasn’t soundproof the whole Clergy would have heard you. Once the wave of ecstasy passed, Aether’s tongue slowed. You were twitching on top of him, leaned over and whining.

Aether easily picked you up, and placed you in his lap. You rested your head on his shoulder and caught your breath. And then, hit the realization this was nowhere near over, you peeked back up at him.

Dewdrop made his way towards you and crouched down. Two fingers pushed inside you and you gasped, unaware what he had even walked over for. His fingers were quick to withdraw and he popped them in his mouth. You locked eyes with him and he smirked.

He pulled his fingers from his mouth, “Next time,” he looked at Aether, “(Y/N) gets to sit on my face.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Aether rolled his eyes at the other ghoul, “Right now, I think a reward is deserved though. Especially after dealing with you.”

Something tells you to not laugh at that comment. Dewdrop let out a grumble and mumbled what you could only guess was Italian swears. Aether placed his attention back onto you, his fingers tracing up and down your arms.

“You’ve been so good for us,” Aether stood and picked you up, carrying you towards the wall. Your back touched the cool surface and Aether pressed himself against you, “I can tell you’re still wound tight,” Aether angled his hips with yours and you swallowed hard, “how about I help with that?”

“Please,” Your voice broke, “please fuck me-”

Aether pulled back a little further and, with one swift movement, he thrusted inside of you. You let out a strangled whine as he kept thrusting in and out of you. One of your legs was wrapped around his hip, while the other was barely touching the floor. You were on your tiptoes. Your arms were draped over his shoulders, and your nails scratched at his bare skin.

“Scream for me,” Aether’s pace quickened, “I want everyone to know who’s fucking you.”

You did not have to be told twice. His name fell from your lips, every bit of air on your lungs releasing for him. You were seeing stars. You had never felt that amount of immense pleasure all at once.

Words became hard to form, until eventually the only thing understandable was ‘Aether,’ and even that was becoming difficult to say. Your brain was becoming mush with every thrust. You felt him lift your hips slightly, and you were positive he was somehow going deeper.

His forehead pressed against yours, and the sound of his groans and low rumbles were sending you over the edge.

“Look at me-” He didn’t even sound out of breath. You opened your eyes and found purple ones staring right back at you. “Cum for me.”

You would not deny him that. His thrusts became more animalistic. You cried out for him as you orgasmed, everything in you on fire. In your mind were begging and pleading for more, but you were sure the words were not coming out the way you wanted.

“You- ugh- Cum inside!”

A primal sound came deep from Aether’s chest. You felt him release, his thrusts briefly sloppy. He never faulted holding you up though. Even as he came, you never slipped away from him, you were not about to get away. 

Your head leaned back, and Aether placed a soft kiss on your neck. Your breathing was ragged and you were leaning all of your weight onto Aether now. His grip tightened on your thigh, “You take me so well-”

“Fuck off, Aether,” Dewdrop reminded the both of you he was still there, “My turn.”

Aether’s eyes darkened and he looked over his shoulder, “You can wait.”

“Uh- Maybe I should go see Sister-” Aether and Dew both look at you with a possessiveness, Aether’s grip tightening. “Maybe I shouldn’t go…” They both relaxed, “How long do these ‘ruts’ last?”

“About a week. Now, please, Aether, let (Y/N) go.” Dewdrop sounded like he did not want to ask again. Especially not nicely.

Aether really did not want to let go. His instinct was to not let a single drop get out of you. He was going to stay with you pinned against that wall for a little longer.

Dewdrop let out a groan, “You’ve done practically everything but mark-” Aether let out a growl and Dewdrop laughed.

“What is he talking about? Mark? I’m assuming he doesn’t mean bitemarks and hickeys…”

“No, when we mate… We mark the mate, letting others know they aren’t to be messed with. Normally there is one mate, but-”

“You’re stuck with both of us. I’m not about to fuck off, and neither is he. So, you’ll have two mates and we’ll have to share.” Dew was smirking at Aether, trying his best to fuck with him.

“That’s fine,” Your answer shocked them, “We have a week to talk about it!” You gave them a genuine smile. “But… maybe I should talk to the Cardinal and, uh, tell him my predicament…”

[narcoticwriter]

Primogems & How They Predicted the Most Devastating Plot Twist of the Game

This item may be the bane of every F2P player's existence and the whale's minor inconvenience to acquire, but I believe that in terms of lore and what the future of the story holds, it can possibly be one of the most blatant warning flags in the game.

Before I go into this specifically, I would like to show you where this post is coming from in earnest.

The one on the left was the beta version of the primogem icon and I have the current one adjacent to it as a comparison.

This? This right here? This is just a slap to the face, a true insult, dare I say a gauntlet thrown on the ground in front of me.

You don't know me if you think I'm going to take that shit, so of course, I'm picking it up and I'll have my pistols. Tell me where and when because I'll be there with receipts.

Not only will I argue that the beta design was quite pointed and intentional with how often this specific shape shows up with characters, lore, and the game at large, I will blatantly declare that it is the key to figuring out where this story is going to end.

If you've been here before, you know what to expect from this, and if you're new? Strap in with some snacks and a healthy appetite for questioning the lore because on this blog, we go ham or we go home.

What is a Primogem Anyway?

According to the wiki, the description of a primogem is as such:

"A primordial crystalline gem that's beyond the mundane world. Shines with the condensed hopes and dreams of universes that once were."

The information here is already intriguing in the sense that the words 'hopes' and 'dreams' are used in relation to their appearance as well as the word 'primordial', which roughly means 'from the beginning of time'.

So with that, we have to ask ourselves one question: how do you even get something like that in the first place?

How Do You Acquire Primogems?

Before I go into this, the ways that I am providing are (in my opinion) the only canonical ways that make sense to acquire primogems at all as they have lore, in-game quotes, and things that point to what I believe will tie into primogems either through other topics or their uses.

Genesis Crystals

To start off, the description of a Genesis Crystal is as follows:

"An energy crystal from the very origin of the universe. Formed from within nothingness out of pure potential and hope, it contains enough energy to create a newborn star."

If one looks at the definition of a primogem, one can see that this Genesis Crystal is used to make primogems. This is evident by the in-game application of the '1:1 Ratio' conversion of Genesis Crystals to Primogems.

It should also be of note that the distinct shape of the crystal is defined as the 'triquetra'. This symbol has a relation to infinity and interconnectedness, which is interesting as the crystal is used as a source to create a condensed byproduct in primogems, something decidedly 'star shaped'. So with that, you also have to ask how one could acquire such a thing in the first place.

The Blessing of the Welkin Moon - New Moon

Please note that this is not in reference to the product that you can buy in the game, but instead, the new moon variant that one can get in web events. This, however, doesn't mean that the lore is not inclusive of the said products either.

I have an ask that went into some more detail about this in a more speculative nature, but for the sake of this, I will put the description of this object below:

"A ritual prayer, recited on the rising of the first new moon, to ask for the moon's blessing in the form of wealth and good fortune. For your purposes, the new moon you shall pray to is the first-ever new moon in Teyvat, since it's the first one you've seen here."

So, with this, we can assume that:

There is a 'prayer' one must make to acquire both primogems and Genesis Crystals

The moon plays a significant role in this process as the said object only last 30 days (roughly the same length as the moon cycle)

Something else of note that I would like to point out is that the new moon is when the cycle starts specifically. Over these 30 days, one can acquire a total of 2,700 primogems and 300 Genesis Crystals, the same as the standard Blessing of the Welkin Moon you can buy.

This image of The Welkin Moon shows a few symbols that we've already seen, such as the primogems themselves as well as the triquetra, so we can firmly establish that this is indeed a valid way of getting these things. But in relation to the moon cycles and lore that incorporates that as well, one must stumble into places you wouldn't typically expect to find those or primogems at all.

Spiral Abyss - Moment of Syzygy

Primogems? In my Sprial Abyss? It's more likely than you think.

The Spiral Abyss is split into two distinct sections, the Abyss Corridor (Floors 1-8) and the Abyss Spire (Floors 9-12) and as such, I'm only going to go over The Abyss Spire in-depth as they replenish their primogems every cycle (15 days).

A physical description of the Spiral Abyss states plainly:

"A grand underground corridor which leads to an unknown spiral constructed by a great empire that has long gone. What treasures await deep in the palace, and what monsters lurk in the shadow..."

"Surrounded by mysteries, the inverse tower is now known as- Spiral Abyss."

With this description, I believe that this 'great empire' is not Khaenri'ah, but something affiliated with the 'Lunar Palace', something that existed and fell into ruination long before the game is set.

With this context in mind, one can see why the snippet called 'Moment of Syzygy' would say:

"The cycles of the moon elucidate the turning points of fate, and as the gears turn at the beginning and middle of the month, the treasures hidden at the end of the spire shows itself."

From Moment of Syzygy, one acquires 600 primogems per cycle of the Abyss, so given the presence of 'treasure' and the heavy emphasis on the moon, one can assume that you would absolutely find primogems even in such a place and if you don't think so, there is proof.

For example, the word 'syzygy' is defined as 'a conjunction or opposition, especially of the moon with the sun'. This is another term for an eclipse, a phenomenon that also includes three celestial bodies (the moon, the sun, and the earth).

Another example of this is something called 'Blessing of the Abyssal Moon'. These come in distinct phases (every 15 days) and are labeled as the 'Waxing Phase' and 'Waning Phase' respectively, granting boons to any characters fighting in the Spiral Abyss, this imagery is further emphasized by the accompanying images of the Corridor and the Spire respectively:

Further on, this Abyssal Moon seems to be a variant of the 'Blessing of the Welkin Moon' as the word 'welkin' means 'the sky or heaven'. So now we have the Heavenly Moon and the Abyssal Moon, two direct opposites in terms of definition and distinct as to what is granted as a blessing.

So yes, you could acquire primogems here with some difficulty. There is, however, another way to do so, though this one might be the most interesting one of all.

Batte Pass - Gnostic Chorus

Please note that I am only referencing the 'Gnostic Chorus' in the teaser trailer and not the purchasable one in the game, although like I've said before, the content in each can be inclusive to each other.

I had some back and forth in my mind concerning the addition of the Gnostic Chorus in this classification, but after looking at the provided dialogue from Venti, I believe it has its place as where one could acquire primogems. The said dialogue is as such below:

"Once, there was a glorious kingdom established among the heavens. From that kingdom came a crowned heir, tasked with seeking out the Genesis Pearl from the Kingdom of Darkness."

"The first crowned heir began her journey of seeking the pearl. But she was deceived, and the memory of her noble origins faded. She now believed that she was the queen of the Kingdom of Darkness." 

"But take heart, a second crowned heir had already taken up the path where the first had stumbled. This is the story of your journey, of your tale to be told."

Immediately, one can clock the term 'Genesis Pearl' and can relate that to 'Genesis Crystal', which we have already defined as something essential to how one can acquire primogems as well as going into what it is in its core.

There is also the imagery of the star-like things on top of the city in the heavens and this mountain specifically, which also lends credence to the presence of stars.

This 'Kingdom of Darkness', however, is up for some debate, as it could be Khaneri'ah, the Spiral Abyss, the Abyss itself, Teyvat itself, or something that we haven't come across yet, so I don't have anything conclusive to say about this particular matter.

From the Gnostic Chorus, you can get 680 primogems per pass acquired. As to why I chose to include this boils down to the fact that the story being told in the dialogue is the Traveler's. The story at large can easily be applied to the Traveler as the way the canonical story goes is that Aether is the one to pick up the task. While there are many theorists that think this isn't the case, for the purposes of this and how this will relate later, I will stick with this view.

Why Does All of This Matter?

To summarize what we've gone over, you can get primogems from

Genesis Crystals

The Blessing of the Welkin Moon (New Moon)

Spiral Abyss (Moment of Syzygy)

Battle Pass (Gnostic Chorus)

And the reasons why you can get them from there specifically is because:

A tie to the essences present at the beginning of the universe and frequently emphasized to be from beyond Teyvat

The frequent allusions to the moon and its cycles

The presence of hopes and dreams as material as opposed to abstract ideas

Symbols and lore that coincide with the topics already established

So in this sense, Primogems are not to be understated in any way as they can all be canonically acquired from this.

However, one thing that I haven't gone over until now is what one can do with Primogems after they've got them.

What to do With Primogems?

A primogem's uses are described and laid as such:

Replenish Resin

Unlock levels of the Battle Pass

Acquire Fates (Wishes)

While at first, this may seem like a system in which the game itself operates, the lore that I've also provided points to more of what to expect in the future as well as how the main character (Traveler) interacts with Teyvat at large as there are certain objects only primogems can make:

Original Resin

Acquiant Fates

Intertwined Fates

All of these things have importance to the lore due to how they influence the world around them and how they are used, the original resin being one that brings many things into question.

Original Resin

The uses of original resin are for ley line outcrops, domains, normal bosses, and weekly bosses. However, I will only really be focusing on ley line outcroppings as they are related to the ley lines themselves.

The description provided for original resin is as stated:

"It is said that the roots of all the Irminsul trees and blossoms in the world are intertwined at the deepest, most hidden place in the earth, and that the pattern the root system makes defines the Ley Lines of the world."

It is also necessary to define Ley Lines and the respective outcroppings (also called Blossoms), which are:

"A mysterious network that links the whole world together, within which flow the elements..."

"A flower blossom known as "Revelation" which grows from the Ley Lines in response to someone's desire for battle. Perhaps the treasures within it can help one recall the perils that they have experienced once before..."

"A flower blossom known as "Wealth" which grows from the Ley Lines in response to someone's desires. Perhaps the treasures within it can satisfy a person's monetary desires, for now..."

So to clarify, the original resin would naturally be a part of these as well as the outcroppings and as such, I do find it quite interesting that a certain number of primogems can replenish the Traveler's supply of it at any time it's acquired. This is important because the implication suggests that in theory, the Traveler can do this whenever they'd like.

This original resin can also be used to make something called condensed resin, which is described as:

"Crystal filled with immense energy. The silver-white Irminsul trees and blossoms are connected to ley lines that have become blocked over time. The energy contained in tree resin can purify the obstructing substance."

This implies that with enough of this resin, one could purify (enhance the bounty from the ley line blossom) any unnatural thing that could be obstructing the ley lines, something that primogems could expedite quite speedily in decent amounts. This, however, is nothing compared to what comes next.

Fates

There are no words that can describe how absolutely broken this is in terms of lore and implication, but I can give it a shot.

In short, wishes are the gacha system in the game, but as I've broken down the lore for every item in the game that I have here, it's only natural that acquaint fates and intertwined fates will have some lore of their own as well.

So to start off, the acquaint fates are used on the permanent standard banner. There's a brief description provided here:

"A seed that lights up the night. No matter the distance apart, guided by the stone's glimmer, the fated will meet under the stars."

This likely indicates that this certain type of fate is meant for the standard characters on the banner which will come regardless of the time that passes.

However, one must also take into consideration that the design of the acquaint fate was different from the CBT yet again.

As a result of this, I can no longer believe that the triquetra design is simply a coincidence. Primogems are naturally going to be used to make acquaint fates in this instance as the Genesis Crystals have this motif of infinite interconnectedness and primogems are a part of that cycle.

The intertwined fate lends credence to this statement as its description state:

"A fateful stone that connects dreams. Its glimmers can entwine fates and connect dreams, just as how its glimmer links stars into the shapes of a heart's desires."

This is painful to me. As if it could not be more obvious than this. We get it. Crystals = Primogems as Triquetra = Infinity. I suppose it had to be changed for that reason, then.

So this description is obviously calling people out every time they pull for the character they want, but a fateful stone that connects dreams? At this point, I'm being handed the motifs and themes within the story without even having to work that hard for them.

As I've stated before, dreams are described within the crystals and the primogems and as such, they are going to have to do with the intertwined fates. However, I will also make the point that this is the first time that it has blatantly said anything about the stars. As the primogem is meant to resemble that shape a bit, the connection is also there.

It is also interesting that the act of using these is typically described as wishes, so in the sense that primogems are described as condensed hopes and dreams, that isn't as far from the truth as one would think.

Byproducts

Speaking of stars, the byproducts of using these fates manifest in objects called masterless starglitter and masterless stardust. These are the remnants of fates and are described as such within the wiki except a point of note would be that they are referred to as a 'surplus of destiny'. This likely refers to the characters and objects acquired.

The descriptions are also more akin to off-hand comments such as 'perhaps it can create new destinies when in large enough quantities' or 'perhaps it can light up other corners of the universe.'

It should be noted that these objects can be used to buy more fates, but it takes a somewhat substantial amount to do so. Depending on which characters are acquired, you can get a decent amount of these, which can be used to buy things from 'Paimon's Bargains', which segues almost perfectly into this final section.

The Bottom Line (+ My Theory)

After taking into consideration everything I have gone over in the eight hours I have hyperfixated on this theory of mine, I have one conclusion and one conclusion only. This starts with a question. A small one, a seemingly innocent one. One that you wouldn't usually pay attention to but with all of this? You have to now.

Why is Paimon, of all people, able to convert starglitter and stardust into fates?

Well, I believe it is because of what has been established over and over again in the entirety of this post. Take a moment to look at her for a second or two.

What do you see? Is it familiar? With all that you know now, does it strike a chord within you?

It should, as Paimon is the only character in the game to have both the four-pointed star and the triquetra on their person and character design, and if the 'genesis crystal=primogem' ratio is to be made manifest within the speculation, this means that this little person may be unaware that they are a segment of the universe itself.

People have been saying that Paimon is the Unknown God. People have been saying that Paimon is the final boss of the game. People have been saying that Paimon will betray the Traveler in the end.

Well, I believe that every single one of them is wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen of the viewing party, I submit to you that Paimon is none of those things at all. I submit to you that such petty labels and titles mean absolutely nothing to her in the grand scheme of things. I submit to you that she is simply above them all.

We can discuss Teyvat, Celestia, the Abyss all we want but if this information brought forward is right and primogems really are the established way in which it can manipulate the world for our dearest Traveler and his flying companion? Then who are we to stand against it?

I, Narky, submit to you, the reader, that Paimon is, without a shadow of a doubt, the First Descender.

Do I think that I'm reaching a little bit? Maybe. But does the evidence lie? No, I don't think it does.

To clarify further, no I do not think that the Unknown God and the First Descender are the same people nor do I think that they are on the best of terms. So with that in mind, the theory will make a bit more sense.

Final Notes + Commentary

I've been scouring the internet and the wiki for over eight hours now, so I think I'll end this here.

So . . . what do you think? Will this entire theory be retconned in a future update? Will people much more observant than I pick it to pieces? Am I simply off my rocker and not medicated enough? Pick your poison! As I've said before, we go ham or we go home and I'm sitting in my house.

I would like to thank the Genshin Impact Wiki for having all of this stuff available to scrutinize and read to enable me to do this. All images and quotes I use are from there. I would also like to thank @scalpel-mom-mori for sending me an ask about Khaenri'ahn lore, as this is what got me started on this.

Leave your thoughts, questions, and commentary if you'd like. I'll get to them when I get to them.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this and maybehaps you took something from it that you can utilize somehow.

Until next time, I see you when I see you.

[finniusastraeus]

Meanspo/ana tricks

Dont eat for pleasure. Eating because you like food is how you got so fucking fat. You want to call yourself 4nor3xic when you still want to eat that whole cake? that brownie? that pizza? how can you WANT that?

You're hungry? No you're bored drink water if you want a snack. mindless eating is the #1 habit that leads to weight gain. when you feel that impulse, replace it with drinking water or another 0kcal drink.

Appetite is disgusting imagine wanting to gain. You're not allowed to want food. Replace that urge with something unrelated. You want food? pick a specific coloring book and fill in a page everytime you want to. Or use the rubber band method.

Never eat alone, you're not allowed to WANT FOOD. If you eat alone you're literally giving up. you can only eat when you have to. if you're out say you got food when you you were out. but if you actually eat when no one's making you, you're trying to gain.

You only eat to make it look like you do. just because you have to eat doesnt mean it has to be a lot. lettuce only has 6kcals per cup. There are 2-3 kcals per grape. 8 kcals in a full cup of cucumbers. you can make it look like you're eating a giant mean and stay under 20 kcal EASILY.

It's not that hard. If you think it's hard to lose, you're not doing enough.

if you have to eat an unhealthy meal with your family take no more than 5 bites. chew them each 20 times and cut EVERYTHING on your plate into tiny peices. Push it around, hide it under other bits of food or if its dry put it in your pockets (i use that one religeously). put it in your pockets then in the garbage.

For the love of ana, dont eat nuts, juice, or cheese. Even if they're marketed as healthy they're SO HIGH KCAL

in one cup of cashews there are 800kcals. 830 for almonds. 111 in a cup of orange juice. 113 in a cup of apple juice. I'll make another post after this with a chart for kcals per serving of really low kcal foods and really high kcal foods.

[piinktearxs]

bunny food

prompts by @raccoonbabey

prompt: Character A is hungry, so Character C spoils them with candy and baked goods. (Bonus: Character B scolds Character C because “That’s not real food!”)

for anon (im sorry it wasn't exactly what you wanted! but you did motivate me to write lol)

pairings: cg!sam winchester, cg!dean winchester x little!OC (munchkin)

warnings: talks of ghosts and graves!

send me more fic asks! :) i love doing these!

tags, as promised: @bunnybeeblog @simpforstefan

It was a long drive back to Kansas, with a case located in Wyoming, 6 hours of route back to the bunker ensued.

Nobody in the crew really minded, by this point it was almost routine, plus this was an easy case, a run of the mill salt and burn - the only particularity being that munchkin had to distract the ghost while the boys digged the grave. So, she was pretty beat after the hunt, the boys knew from experience that, after most hunts, munchkin regressed - it was her way of processing all the emotions that she felt during the hunt, or anything really, plus, the boys loved caring for her whether she was small or big, they all really cared for each other a lot, but when she was small, she was just "so damn cute" as Dean put it.

They were 2 hours in, 4 left to go, they had had breakfast at the motel, only thing was, they had forgotten to get snacks before the drive.

Munchkin was in the back of the car, taking a little nap, when suddenly the car came to a stop, she then slowly woke up.

"Hey sweetheart, Daddy went to the bathroom, you wanna get somethin' to eat at the convenience store?" said Dean, turning to face munchkin from the driver's seat, she was starting to feel hungry, so, she nodded and rubbed her eyes, still sleepy from her nap. Dean went to open her door for her and unbuckle her, she could do this on her own, but he knew that it made her feel extra small when he did little things like that for her.

As she climbed out of the car, Dean offered his hand "What do we do when we cross the street?" He asked "Hold dada, daddy or dae's hand!" She responded chipperly, fully awake by now, as she took his hand "Attagirl" Dean said as they walked to the convenience store, they ran into Sam, who was just exiting the men's room.

"Hey there kiddo, had a good nap?" Sam asked as he bent down to munchkin's level - "Mhm!" She responded "Dada and I was jus gettin' some snackies 'cause we hungry!" She said, looking at the younger Winchester with a big smile on her face. Sam was happy to hear his little princess verbalizing her hunger cues "I think I'll join y'all then, I'm getting the munchies, too" he said as he took munchkin's free hand and started to chat with Dean when they entered the convenience store.

Sam, being the health nut that he is, immediately went for the veg aisle, whereas Dean took munchkin to his favorite aisle, the baked goods aisle- specifically where the pies were.

As Sam joined them, with a basket containing a big bag of baby carrots and ranch, Dean put in some pie and cookies, he then picked some worm gummies and red skittles, munchkin's favorite candy "I think we're all good to go, ain't we, Sammy?" Dean asked his brother, heading for the checkout counter "Uh, Dean I think we need to get some real food in there" Sam said, seeing that the basket was 70% sweets "Seems pretty real to me" Dean responded.

As the two brothers bickered on what was real food and what wasn't ("Rabbit don't equal real!" "OH, and processed does?" "You're such an almond guy" "There's a difference between almond and healthy!" "Yeah but you're an almond" "That's a meme! And I'm so not" "You so are") munchkin went around the store, picking what she was craving, she saw some carrots with hummus, and grabbed those, she then saw an individual bag of salt and vinegar chips and added that one, too, when she returned to the sweets aisle, she tugged on Sam's sleeve "Daddy in how much time are we gettin' lunch?" she asked, "In about two hours, why do you ask, bunny?" he asked, as munchkin put her picks in the basket "ta see if ima be veery hungry or not so much" she said as she took out her gummies and put them back "gotta leave some room for lunch" she said with a shrug "okie now we ready to go!" she said with a smile.

The boys looked at each other, perplexed, what did their little one just do? She never denied candy of any kind, Dean crouched to her height "Baby, is everything alright? You love gummies" he said, concerned "I know dada, but they's not goin' nowhere, plus, I'm craving skittles more today and we're havin' lunch soon, an' i don't wanna be full by lunch, an' i also wanted carrots an' chips" she said, very sure of herself, it did make sense, what she was saying, still, both boys were confused at her sudden vegetable frenzy, when she was small, she usually dreaded those "you can have bunny food AND sweet food, is all 'bout balance, plus I got some hummus because it tastes better than ranch"

The boys shared an "oh well" look, and the argument was settled, they paid for their items and got back on the road, where they shared what each had gotten, and sang along to their shared road trip playlist all the way back to the bunker.

[yellowbunnydreams]

The Blood Runs Thicker (part 9) ~vampire!William Afton x F! Reader~

~Surprise double upload! Because I can and I am a cruel, cruel writer~

Tag-List; @ruh--roh-raggy @randymeeksisafinalgirl @sleepy---head @robin-the-enby @hungrhay @likoplays @slxsher-whxre @nicolezghostz @spiderlilytengu

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Want more or something different? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

CW:Minors DNI, (18+ ONLY), Female Reader, legal age gap (Reader- 20's, William - 50's), graphic acts of violence, biting, knife-play, blood, blood-drinking/licking, mention of dead children, anaemia. A lot of sexual tension...like a lot. Possessive behaviour. The suit stays ON

The water pounded against William's chest as he laid his head back against the tiles. His chest heaved slightly with each breath as he tried to let himself even out after preparing lunch for you. It'd been adorable almost, how you'd curled up under the covers again so quickly and needed to be shaken awake. The way your eyes lit up as you saw some of the snacks and drinks you'd brought on the tray along with a more healthy lunch than whatever Michael had fed you for breakfast.

Thinking of Michael had William's fists clenching, pounding them against his thigh lightly as his jaw twitched and his lip curled up in a snarl. But he'd dealt with Michael, for now at least. And he tried to make himself relax and turn off his senses, eyes closed and feeling the coldness of the tile seeping into his skin, focusing on the hot water and trying not to let his aching body take over his mind again as he thought of you curled up in his bed.

You on the other hand, had just finished cleaning up after lunch. Wiping your hands on your jeans and listening to the house for a moment, you wondered where William had disappeared to, having looked inside the fridge and noticing that the shoe-box of his demented capri-suns was restocked, one sat on the shelf in plain view, like he'd thought about taking it but then had become distracted.

Picking it up, you tucked it under your arm. Unsure what you planned on doing with it, but wondering if perhaps you could take another shower despite taking on earlier in the day. You felt dirty, used. Somewhat glad that William had avoided answering any curiosities you may have had as to where his son had gone to, even though there was still some tiny quiet part of your mind that wondered whether he was alive or more dead than he previously was.

Heading back upstairs, you sighed as the cold packet under your arm made you feel cold again. Still not entirely sure what you planned on doing with it if you didn't find William, but carrying it with you anyway.

Your thoughts wandered back to them being curled in bed, his warmth against your front and the feeling of his large hands against your back. How peaceful he had looked when you were sure he was asleep, the way his glasses dug into his nose when he'd fallen asleep. Your cheeks heated up as you recalled the way his legs had looked, the way he so gracefully moved around the bed and even his briefly flustered face when you'd thrown the pillow at him in embarrassment. Smiling to yourself as you were lost in thought, not hearing anything as you pushed open the bathroom door.

You blinked as you opened the door and were faced with a wall of hot air, confused as you stood there blinking. Suddenly aware that you could hear the water running and turning your head towards the tub, cheeks heating up and almost tripping over your feet as you spotted William with his head pressed back against the tile. Seemingly not having spotted you yet as you turned to leave quickly. Glad you couldn't see more than his head and a bit of his shoulder from behind the curtain.

"You could have asked nicely if you wanted to join me, rather than barge in." He murmured, making you squeak and freeze as you silently cursed yourself for forgetting how sensitive his hearing seemed to be.

"I-I um.. sorry, I'll just go. I didn't mean to intrude." Voice wavering as you headed for the door, William's arm shooting out in the small space and holding the door closed as he lazily opened his eyes and glanced at you. Smirk spreading across his face as he saw how flustered you were.

"You'll only waste the hot water, get in, bunny. I'll even close my eyes for you." Your head snapped towards him as he made a show of moving his thick, muscular arm and placing his hand over his closed eyes. Moving so that he was fully behind the curtain once again. Torn between disobeying him and potentially making the predator angry, or obeying and praying that you didn't see anything nor that he would see anything either.

Stripping down quickly, you placed your clothes in a pile with his and opened the curtain at the opposite end of the tub, eyes squeezed so tightly closed it made your head hurt, hand reaching in blindly as you tried to step in. Foot giving out on the slick tub for a moment before a large hand whipped out and caught your upper arm, making you yelp as he righted you and made sure you were upright. Loosening his grip once he was sure you were securely in the tub, keeping yourself facing the wall and all too aware of the looming presence behind you. Too short for where he'd set the shower to actually get wet, but you daren't step back in case you ran into all too bare flesh.

William opened his eyes, having to as he heard you slipping as you entered the tub. His eyes instinctually raked down the curve of your spine, feeling his lip curl into a snarl as he saw the marks on your shoulder from where Mike had bitten you. Feeding you his blood had certainly made it almost guaranteed that there would be no scar from it, although it also appeared you wouldn't scar from anything he'd done to you either. A small flare of disappointment running through him as he found himself wishing one of his marks had remained against your pretty skin.

He could always make more, when you were stronger again.

Ignoring you for a moment, he grabbed his shampoo and began to wash his hair. Brushing against your back slightly and feeling how you tensed as he had to lean forwards slightly to wash it out. Glad that the water around you helped to dampen your smell, taking a deep breath anyway in case he could catch some of the intoxicating scent, frowning as he couldn't. Frown turning into a scowl as he noticed you keeping a distance, staring at a singular spot on the wall like your life depended on it.

"Are you all shy now bunny?" He teased, reaching forwards and grabbing your arms, making you gasp as he pulled you back into his body. Feeling his broad chest against your back, the way the hair felt against your back and the curve of your spine seemed to fit perfectly against his stomach. Cheeking burning and body shaking as you held your hands up, gripping onto your shoulders and thighs pressing together as you tried to protect your modesty.

But the water was warm, and it washed off some of the grossness that Mike had left behind. Feeling William shift against your back and lean in, breathing over your ear as he chuckled.

"Now this, this is naked, bunny." Referring to your accusation earlier, only making your cheeks burn harder and the blush spread down your neck and onto your chest. Swallowing hard as you tried to not create a mental image of what William Afton looked like against your back, how muscular his body was, how it felt like muscle designed for function over form, or let your mind wander to the trail of hair you had caught a glimpse of before.

Shaking your head, you curled in on yourself more, making Afton laugh before he straightened up. Hearing a bottle click above your head before you gasped, cold being poured onto your head as you recognised the smell of your shampoo, his thick fingers tangling into your hair and massaging it into your scalp. Your tense shoulders relaxing after a moment as a soft groan of appreciation fell from your lips.

"You're still a bastard."

"We went over my legitimacy earlier, bunny. I didn't realise you'd quite gotten that stupid." He chuckled, especially as you started to move your hand backwards as if to slap him before realising that he was very naked too, and watching as your cheeks flushed at the realisation your hand could land somewhere very different than its target.

"How anybody put up with you long enough to produce a child, I'll never know." you scoffed, feeling him pause before that low chuckle reached your ears again, dark and sending shivers down your spine as he spoke lowly and slowly.

"Oh I had three." Leaning in closely and whispering into your ear to see how you reacted, watching your expressions carefully as he almost growled out the words. "Maybe if you turned around, you'd have one of the reasons why about level with your stomach."

Your cheeks flushed something horrid, a tiny squeak escaping your lips as even your chest started burning up. Heart pounding as you turned your head slightly and found him incredibly close to yours. Watching him grin wickedly as he was able to drink in your flustered apperance.

"You're disgusting."

"I'm actually quite clean thank you, as proven by me being in the shower." That sarcastic grin still on his face as he refused to move from how close he was to you. Glad there was little space between your hips as he was sure he would have perhaps been a little bolder had you been pressed up against him so wholely.

"You said you're already dead. So as far as I know, dead guys don't get hard." You fake pouted, trying to recover some of your sarcasm as he had thrown you so completely by forcing such a close situation. Watching William's expression open up and his eyes widen, mouth opening in slight shock before he snapped back to his usual frown, lip curling up in a snarl before he spoke in that growling tone again.

"There are more ways than using my cock to fuck you, bunny. I was an engineer, I'm quite good with my fingers...or I could always taste you in a different way." Pushing out his long tongue and licking your cheek for emphasis and making you flinch away slightly, chuckling at how your face flushed, though something about you smelt slightly different as he did it. Making him raise any eyebrow curiously as to what had changed, eyes flickering to your lips as he remained close, watching how they trembled with your breath. "How does that sound, little bunny?"

"Like....m-my worst nightmare." You managed to swallow through your words, earning another chuckle as he could so clearly see the lies in your words, standing back to his full height before his large, rough hand moved up to your shoulders, touching and feeling the skin there and how it was feeling as it healed up. Feeling your body trembling and shaking as he almost massaged you, enjoying teasing you and playing the game of cat and mouse you had unofficially established together.

The prize was your body...although William wanted it in a much different way this time.

He quickly finished up and allowed you to wash yourself, stepping out confidently and unashamed. Your eyes naturally following the movement initially, flustering yourself all the more as you caught a glimpse of his back, broad and scarred. The way the muscles moved under his pale skin making your chest tighten before you managed to snap your attention back to the task in hand. Hoping he would leave the bathroom quickly so you could dry off in peace at least.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Afton stood infront of the mirror, a soft sigh coming from his lips as seemingly the empty bathroom stared back at him. It was still such a naturally movement after all these years to look there, as if he could see his face staring back at him. Running his hand over his growing beard, he wondered if he should attempt to shave, wincing as he thought back to the last time he'd done so and how he'd sliced open a good chunk of his face because he couldn't see. It wasn't like he could go to a barber's either.

Stepping out of the shower, you turned off the water and grabbed the nearest towel, wrapping it tightly around your body as you gazed at Afton. Chest tightening as you realised he was only in a towel, staring into the mirror with disdain and a little defeat. You looked into the glassy surface and your eyes widened slightly as you saw that there really was no reflection for him, his eyes searching it like he might find himself if he looked hard enough. The way his hand scrubbed at his face telling you that something was bothering him.

Despite the fact you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, you padded softly over to him. Carefully manoeuvring so that you could jump up on the counter and keep your modesty, his grey eyes flickering to you, eyebrow raised as he realised you were voluntarily seating yourself near him.

"What do you want, brat?"

"Do you...Would you like me to help?" You asked, taking a pause between words as you tried to figure out how best to approach it without sounding condescending. William paused at your question, frowning before you remembered that you'd brought in a blood bag, picking it up off of the counter and wiggling it like you might do so to bait on a hook. "I brought snacks if that helps?"

His lips twitched and threatened to curl into a smile before he regained control again, shrugging his broad shoulders and opening a drawer on the counter, pulling out a straight-razor and some shaving cream, handing both to you.

"Don't try and slit my throat." Growling as he positioned himself so that you had him between your knees, watching as you put some shaving cream on your hands and gently spread it on one side of his face. Wanting to divide and conquer the task at hand. You carefully picked up the razor and placed your hands on his face, running the blade against his skin loosely, trying not to shave too close to the skin in case you cut him.

Silence settled between you, your hands trembling softly and lips parted slightly in concentration as the blade moved over his face. Washing it regularly to check on the cut and how it was progressing. It was a lot slower than when he'd been able to do it for himself, but he felt himself relaxing slightly under the careful touches. Eyes closing and allowing you to turn his head back and forth to get the best shave. There was something theraputic about it for the both of you, and incredibly trusting to allow knives near either, but it didn't cross either mind on how easily you could attack him and escape in that moment.

After a while, you grabbed a hand cloth and wiped down his face, frowning as you realised you had been a little too careful and left stubble across his face rather than a clean shave. Afton opening his eyes again and rubbing his hand over his face, smiling as he realised you'd left a bit of stubble.

"I'd almost say you prefered me like this." He teased, and you smacked him lightly, rolling your eyes and gasping as he caught your wrist in his hand, holding it close as he allowed himself a genuine smile in front of you. "Thank you, bunny."

"I can't imagine how..frustrating...it must be, to not see yourself." You murmured, earning a hum in reply as he shuffled, placing his free hand down by your hip as he leaned in, studying your face as he continued to smile, almost warmly.

"Oh it is incredibly... That's why I like watching your expressions so much, I get to see it. It's the thing that unless you look in a mirror, you can't see.. like me." his voice was soft, almost purring as he seemed to think for a moment, his lips ghosting yours and making your chest tighten, breathing becoming difficult as his lips softly hovered just above yours. Your breath becoming his and his becoming yours for a brief moment before he pulled away. Grinning widely as he watched your expression, the conflicted desperation for closeness, the nervousness as he moved back from you, allowing your wrist to fall back into your lap.

"I'll leave you pyjamas on the bed, and grab you some snacks. It's been a very long day for you, for both of us." Walking out of the room and closing the door behind him, padding towards his bedroom as he left you on the counter, shaking and breathless from a kiss that never came.

And you weren't sure why you had wanted it so much, but you swore to yourself as you tried to gather your thoughts regarding the predator you seemed to have developed some form of crush on.

[pyromegalomaniac]

OI YOU

I HAVE AN IDEA

Puppet (or maybe actual) cryptid reader x Wally

I have so many ideas how to turn scary to spoopy

MOTHMAN - Fluffy little fellow that is extremely socially awkward

SIREN HEAD - little rockstar with another mouth on their neck. Horrible eyesight, and probably has a spare speaker everywhere hidden

SKINWALKER - just a silly shapeshifter who steals food and plays silly pranks

LOCHNESS MONSTER - professional mer-person, carry’s around spray bottle to sprits people who curse scales and SMOOOOTH. Skin

BIG FOOT - hiker, and buff as heck, socially anxious but always whispers out a ‘Language’ adnormally tall

EL CHUPACABRA - actually has a pet goat named baby. Fluffy!!

them is just off the top of my head. Their just silly little guys with silly inhuman features

Hey again, 112!! Glad to see you like my stuff enough to come back!! This sure is a lot of ideas!! I don't think I'll be able to quite capture your vision... but I can try!! I'll do my best!! I don't know a bunch about all these cryptids, but I know a crap ton about mothman, funny enough, since I listened to a podcast episode about him. Enjoy!!

(♡˙︶˙♡)

Wally x puppet cryptid!reader Headcanons🍎👻

Mothman-

Burying your face in your neck fluff

Your fluffy little antennas perk up or droop depending on your mood

Seeing Wally always makes them perk up

Wally loves petting your fur

You have really bad luck, accidents always seem to happen around you

That's okay Wally loves you

You give people nightmares when you're in a bad mood, so you try to stay near Wally since he makes you happy

Siren Head-

Generally loud as balls

Bumping into crap since you can barely see

Sometimes you pick up frequencies from radios

Wally loves to sing and dance with you

You're used a lot in Sally's plays for music and sounds

Lochness Monster-

Scottish Accent maybe

Lifeguard at the local pool

"Don't forget to bring a towel!"

(I'm sorry I couldn't help myself-)

Moves really smoothly

Wally likes watching you swim

He will NOT get in though

He doesn't know why you'd wanna get wet

Bigfoot-

Doesn't like pictures

Getting your portrait painted is fine though

Picnicking in the woods w/Wally

Healthy snacks like granola bars and stuff

So tall you can pick the tallest apples off trees

Strong and tall enough you can pick him up so he can pick the high apples too

Chupacabra-

You eat so much

Everyone likes your pet goat Baby

Wally has basically adopted it as his child

You are a very happy family

You will literally steal pies off windowsills

That one friend who always has food in their bag

Not to share necessarily

But you will sit down with Wally and eat a bunch of food

Wowsers, that's a lot!! Hope you liked these, 112!! Thanks for requesting them!! I had fun writing them, and I look forward to doing more in the future!! Much love!!

ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

[invisibleraven]

doing their makeup for them / rose & julie

Rose went over her checklist-food, flowers, music-all checked off. The decorations were all being put up, the staff working tirelessly to capture her vision for Julie's quinceanera.

Look, Rose's body might be being ravaged by cancer and chemo both, and she was more exhausted than anything, but she had vowed that she was giving her daughter a quinces to remember.

"Hey, time for a break?" Ray asked, easing the checklist from her grip.

"I just want it to be perfect," she whispered. "I don't know if this is the last birthday I'll get to see..."

"Don't talk like that," Ray admonished. "The chemo is working, You've got decades ahead of you."

"I wish I had your faith," Rose admitted, leaning into his arms. "I want Julie to have this one perfect night that every girl deserves."

"Well how about you help her get ready?" Ray suggested. "Instead of micromanaging here? You'll be too tired to enjoy it at this rate."

"I thought she and Flynn were getting ready together?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind some help from her mami."

Rose smiled, kissing him before heading home, finding the girls finishing up their hair and giggling together. She knocked gently on the door. "Hey, do you need any help?"

"Hi Mami," Julie waved her in. "We were about to do our make up and nails if you want to help-or I could do yours?"

Rose knew her skin had grown pale and sickly since she got diagnosed, hardly the healthy glow she used to sport. She didn't hide her illness, proudly sporting her bald head and pallid skin. Tonight she had planned for a wig and a touch of blush, just so the focus was off her, but that was all.

"Sure mija, just nothing too wild okay?"

Julie beamed, gathering her supplies, while Flynn motioned she was going to give them a moment and top up their snacks. Rose was grateful to her, wanting this moment with her daughter.

"You know, in the eyes of the community, today you become an adult. A heavy burden for fifteen."

Julie hummed as she gently applied concealer to her skin. "Is this the part where you tell me I'll always be your little girl?"

Rose snorted at that, giving Julie a gentle shove. "Meanie."

"Learned from the best," Julie replied, dusting powder next, then adding blush. "I feel like I've already become an adult. These past few months have sucked."

"They have," Rose surmised, then taking Julie's hands in hers, letting the tube of mascara fall to the bed. "And I'm sorry that you've felt you've had to step up or grow up too quickly. Even if I am so proud of the woman I can see you becoming."

Julie sniffled at that, swiping at her watery eyes. "I... thank you."

Rose squeezed her hands, then gave her the mascara back. "No eyelashes, so maybe we could do lips instead?"

Julie gave a wet little laugh and pulled out a few tubes, letting Rose pick a dusky mauve shade with a little shimmer. "So how many times do you think papi will step on my feet during our dance?"

Rose cackled at that. "Know how bad of a dancer your father is-a lot. I hope you have good shoes."

"Think Tia would faint if I wore my combat boots?"

They giggled over that, Flynn coming back and insisting they needed to get Julie's makeup done now so they could do the dress. Rose offered to do that if Flynn would tackle the nails.

They worked together, giving Julie''s face a soft golden glow with a dramatic lined eye and nude lip to compliment her sparkly black and gold dress while Flynn tackled the nails making them match the gold in the dress with black tips.

Flynn did her own face while Rose grabbed the dress, helping Julie into it-it wasn't nearly as voluminous as a traditional quinces dress, but it was gorgeous and made Julie light up like never before.

"Mija..."

"I know," Julie said, hugging her mother. "Thank you so much for planning this night. I'll make sure that your next birthday is just as grand."

Rose wanted to say she wasn't sure she had another birthday in her, give Julie advice for the years she wasn't sure she would be here for. But she didn't, she couldn't bring this evening down. Instead she offered her daughter a soft smile and tugged an errant curl back behind her ear.

"You two go on, I'm sure papi is waiting for some photos. I'm going to go get ready and meet you down there."

The girls took off, and Rose smiled, watching them go before shrugging on her own dress, adjusting the wig on her head. Looking so much like her old self that she had to let out a sob for all she had lost, and all she had left to lose.

She quickly gathered herself, fixing the smudged makeup and plastering a smile on her face. It was Julie's night, she wasn't going to bring it down.

And went off to make sure she got a few pictures with her family, so no matter what, the memory of tonight would stay with them as a happy one even if she wasn't there to remember it with them.

Though in the end? Rose got to show those pictures of her grandchildren, and none of them saw her illness-only commenting how pretty both she and Julie were. And asking if she would plan her granddaughter's quinces as well.

"Of course I will," Rose promised, and couldn't wait to recreate the photo with her family, all these years later.

[gingerjolover]

prompt: any of the boys take care of reader after noticing she has disordered eating habits

Trigger warning: disordered eating habits and eating disorder talk, nothing too graphic (your girl is emetophobic lol)

As someone who has had and recovered from an ED, if you need any support or resources please feel free to reach out and if this will trigger you, please skip!!

since I have a lack of Phoebe content I will be writing her first, BUT i do plan to do this prompt with all the boys.

Phoebe:

I'm imagining a scenario where Phoebe keeps pretty good tabs on you, like always checking in and making sure you're okay and taking care of yourself, especially when she's touring and just not around as much. And this isn't because she thinks you're incapable, but she strikes me as the type of partner/lover who wants to be very involved, especially when she's not physically around.

The why isn't so much important as the what. Because she's not around and the boy's busy touring schedule, you've been able to dodge situations where she might've picked up on the fact that you were skipping meals and meticulously tracking what goes into your body, if anything substantial at all. It isn't until she comes home, and she doesn't really notice the first day because you spend most of the day in bed and you narrowly avoid your first mealtime together by blaming eating a big lunch before you picked her up from the airport.

But she knows something is up the next morning when she wakes up early (on purpose) to surprise you with your favorite baked good and presents it to you in bed. You offer to walk Maxine first, saying you missed the pup and walking with your girlfriend, which Phoebe believes, but there's something gnawing at her gut because you left the pastry on your nightstand, not even sparing it a second glance.

You'd both be walking Maxine, hand in hand, when Phoebe tells you one of the few times Julien fell hard on stage, and you laugh a little too hard that you get lightheaded. Phoebe is immediately on high alert and may be coming off a little aggressive in her questioning, "No seriously babe, don't say you're fine, you chuckled and almost fucking passed out," and you immediately close in on yourself, wanting to hide but she keeps pushing and pushing until the dam bursts. You're literally in the front yard when you just spill how you haven't been eating, and she's instantly riddled with guilt, scooping you up and rubbing your back. "Baby, hey... I need you to talk to me... you know I love you, I want the best for you, what's going on?" just so supportive and soft and sweet with you, the side of her you don't see super often since she's so nonchalant and chill normally. She doesn't immediately force you into a program or into a big meal; she does convince you to get checked out at urgent care, where they give you resources and fluids before she finds a safe snack for you to slowly reintroduce.

When you get home she lets you talk it out, letting you rest your head on her chest, her fingers massaging your scalp and back. She feels guilty for being so aggressive, knowing you're a bit ashamed of your recent habits. She does her best to console you without reinforcing any of your behavior, "I know you're struggling baby, I do. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, but I'm here now, and I'll always be here, even when I'm not physically home," and "You're stuck with me forever, I need you healthy babe," trying to make light of the situation. She's googling the best way to support you when you eventually fall asleep on her chest; Maxine snuggled with the two of you on the couch.

She tries not to be overbearing as you slowly work out of your habits. she'll be on the road again, you'll be at work getting a random series of texts along the lines of "good morning my dude," "make sure you eat today," "love you so much," and then when you don't answer her texts she'll call, sheepishly asking you what you had for breakfast.

She tries not to watch you like a hawk, but there's always a part of her that's a bit overprotective, especially when you start eating intuitively and listening to your hunger cues; she gets a little flighty when you tell her you're not hungry, but she knows to trust you, and if you needed help, you would ask. At the end of the day, she just loves you so much, and even if she is chill about it, she's obsessed with you and only wants the best for you.

[insipid-drivel]

Tack And Upkeep: The Equine Influencer's Daily Routine

This is a continuation of my post, "Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap". The first post I'm pretty satisfied addressed general horsie behavior and what's genuinely realistic in portraying horses, riding, and the relationships between horses and their riders that most people just plain don't know because you only learn it by working with them. The overall reception to the first post has been sincerely touching and inspiring from those of you who have shared and tagged or commented, so let's expand your knowledge some more! In this post, I'll be addressing the specific routines horses go through on a daily basis to be happy and healthy, and covering the different names and uses of tack.

Warning: This Is Going To Be A Very Long Post And So I've Placed A Readmore Below

Phase One: The Asscrack of Dawn

Horses are extremely high-maintenance and demanding animals when it comes to their routine upkeep. They're highly routine-focused, and will literally scream at the tops of their lungs if you're late in getting to the barn. If you think your cat is strict with their daily routines? It's because they learned it from horses, I'm 99% sure. My mom was once late as a teenager to getting to her horse and feeding him breakfast. He responded by picking the latch on his stall door, escaping from his paddock, and nosing his way past her bedroom window to whinny at her asleep in bed so she would get up and feed him. Like "I know where your stall is, too!"

Horses usually want to start the day in the pre-dawn hours. This is why stable hands and squires are essential throughout history. We adorn our eye crusties from rolling out of bed around 4am with oat dust as we head to the barn and first start with breakfast while you're able to stay in bed and sleep in time to get to work without being so sleep-deprived you walk into your car door instead of getting inside it.

So, what do horses like to eat anyway?

-Hay: The generic Wheaties of the horse world. Hay is a mix of dried grasses and healthy herbs meant for general munching and snacking on when the horse is in their stall or otherwise has no access to a pasture for grazing. They tend to be pretty "meh, okay" on being presented with hay, which we stable hands deliver in wheelbarrows and go from stall to stall filling each horse's individual feed bucket/trough. Hay and straw are not the same. Straw isn't very edible for livestock, and is almost exclusively used for insulation and bedding instead of food.

-Alfalfa, aka Clover flakes:

(source)

Alfalfa flakes, or clover flakes as I'm used to saying, are a sweet-smelling, green bale of lightly dried and compressed alfalfa and clover. The bale itself can be broken up into flat, square "flakes" that we often present to horses like treats. The flakes can either be placed on the ground in the stall (not recommended; they poo and pee there), or in a loose net, open-topped grid, or some other form of mounted feeder they can comfortably snack on. The flakes themselves smell very sweet, herbal smell that was always my favorite when I was a stable hand.

-Oats: Oats are kind of the treat of treats for horses, and are carefully measured and controlled when it comes to portioning. Horses tend to love oats so much that, if allowed to, they will literally eat until their stomachs rupture and die. Every barn and every horse has different dietary needs, such as ratios for oats vs. alfalfa vs. hay in order to keep them healthy.

-Molasses: Horses absolutely love sugar, but molasses in particular is something they go crazy for. When I was learning to barrel race and was establishing my working relationship with my Quarterhorse, Chip, my mom would help me out by making homemade horse treats consisting of rolled oats, molasses, and chopped up bits of apple that I'd slip to him when it was time for me to bring him his breakfast.

-Apples: The stereotype is true that horses adore apples, carrots, and other safe-to-eat fruits and veggies. But again, we treat these like actual treats, since they wouldn't be something a horse could safely eat in large quantities without developing stomach and intestinal problems.

-Thistles:

(source)

Horses go absolutely hogwild for thistles like the ones that grow in Scotland, Ireland, England, and Wales. They're a common sight along a lot of roads in the US nowadays, too, and while they're spiky as hell to us, horses are kinda like giraffes in that they have very tough mouth and tongue tissues designed to be tough against thorny and rigid vegetation. If you happen to be a fan of artichokes (also thistles), you may understand why horses get so excited to eat the little purple flowering ones! They're just yummy to 'em.

A very good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to writing up a rough feeding routine for your OC's horse, think of the natural ratios of food a wild horse would find. They would mostly eat grasses, with limited access to grains and fruits, and alfalfa/clover only tends to grow in large patches compared to the way grass likes to spread everywhere, so even the alfalfa would be lower on the list of most-eaten foods for a horse. As for stuff like thistles; those are treats even among horses. Stable hands will put up with a lot of literal horseshit, but the horses can forage for thistles themselves.

Phase Two: Bathtime

Now, routines can vary, but in my experience, the horses tend to be more relaxed and cooperative for cleanup time after they've been given breakfast, but every owner runs their barn differently.

The first thing we do is put a halter on. This is a halter:

(source)

The difference between a halter and a bridle is a bit like the difference between a sports bra and a steel-boned corset: One you can stand to sleep in if you have to, while the other is there for good looks and tight control. Most horses don't mind wearing a halter 24/7, while others are crafty enough to figure out how to rub their heads against a tree/fence/stable door to slip their halter off.

It is possible to ride with a halter instead of a bridle, but you basically have to be willing to trust the horse with your life/are learning to ride bareback (although even bareback riders will often still use a halter or bridle for their own safety, and to control the horse when they're not riding it). 99% of the time, the halter is just there to help us stable hands guide and direct the horse to where we need them to be, with the rings on the halter used for clipping things like ropes to them to control the horse's head:

(source)

The above image is a good idea of how we "control" the horse's head. In the barns I worked at, we usually took the horses to a hitching spot just outside of the tack room to keep them warm inside while we prepped them for the day.

Once the horse is comfortable and properly controlled in place, it's first time to "swamp out" the stall behind them! A horse's stall only stays clean when the horse isn't in it, and so every time you're preparing to take the horse out or put them in their stall, it's essential to clean the stall first. This means shoveling poo and soiled straw and hosing down the stall floor (most modern barns these days keep heavy rubber mats on the stall floors to keep the horses warmer and more comfortable in general), distributing fresh straw for them to sleep in, refilling water buckets, and topping off hay feeders. Once all that's done, we turn our attention to the horse.

Bathtime Stage 1: The Gear

(source)

The diagram above is a bit fussy and more meant for show horses, but it gives the gist of what all we use to make sure the horses have their best glam day, every day. We'll often keep our grooming tools in designated bags or buckets that just make keeping track of our tools a lot easier than getting them one at a time.

ADVISORY: NEVER WALK BEHIND A HORSE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRUST AND LOVE THEM! The biggest etiquette no-no you can commit when practicing horse safety and working with horses is to walk behind them. Horses have nearly 360 degree vision, with their only blind spots being directly in front of and directly behind them. When you're in a horse's blind spot, if it's spooked in any way with its head restrained, its first response will be to kick. A kick from a horse can absolutely be lethal depending on how big the horse is, where they hit you, and how hard they kick. A horse will easily kill you by breaking your skull if their back hoof impacts your head. To avoid being kicked by a horse if you have no other way to get around them, you literally hug their butt with your body while scooching around to the side you need to get to. Only once you're clear of the horse's back hooves can you un-hug that booty and step away. That way, if the horse does decide to kick, they're more likely to scoop you up on their legs and knock you aside than pummel you with an iron-soled fist made of thumbnails compressed to be hard enough to crush a wolf's skull.

Bathtime Stage 2: Brushies!

Now, brush time is usually happy time for the horse! It feels good and is very much like stimming for them. On more than one occasion, I've actually had horses doze off and start snoring while standing up as I was brushing them because they were having such a nice time. It's a myth that horses always sleep standing up like cows do; they usually hunker down in their piles of straw and curl up like even bonier borzois, but they can nap standing up. And yes, horses can and do snore! They can fart hilariously loud, too. I've never heard such thunderous cheek-clapping as when I've heard horses farting.

Generally speaking, the body-brush we use is called the "dandy brush" in the above diagram, but I was always used to calling it the "bristle" brush, because they're usually made with the bristles taken from wild boar hides to make them. We generally brush their bodies with the dandy brush for as long as our arms can hold out, because you never can get all the dirt and shed hair out when you're brushing a horse, and we're going to bathe them anyway.

Some horses don't like having their faces brushed, and don't usually need it unless they actually have gotten dirty. That's when we use the face brush, which is much narrower with denser, yet slightly softer bristles for working out mud spots and dirt without irritating the horse's skin. I, personally, would only spot-clean visible dirt, and then use a small washcloth during bathtime to give horses a face wash.

A "curry comb" is just a brush with very thick, firm pegs or wire bristles that's meant for breaking apart thick cakes of mud matting in the horse's hair. Horses instinctively like to roll in mud and dirt as a natural way of keeping pets like flies away and to keep cool in the heat - especially after they've just been bathed and prepped for a show goddammit - and so they can come in from the pasture pretty heavily caked in mud, and proud of it. Curry or wire combs just help break up dried mud and loosen it from the horse's skin so it's easier to wash out.

Combing a horse's mane and tail are also essential to their care, just like it's important to care for your hair on a regular basis to keep it from matting and getting yucky. Their manes and tails tend to be very, very wiry and stiff, and it can be surprisingly tricky to work out tangles and knots. Along with a very sturdy steel comb, sometimes we'll use something like coconut oil - which is safe for their skin and if they ingest it - like a natural leave-in conditioner to help us work out bad tangles without hurting the horse. Braiding a horse's mane and tail is highly traditional, especially in folklore from the British Isles. To this day, legend says that if you find your horse's mane and tail braided overnight one day, the faeries snuck into the barn and did it as a show of favor!

There's actually a huge link between horses and Celtic folklore that's really fun to explore, but that's another post.

Stage 3: Hoof Picking

While stable hands and riders aren't necessarily trained to trim a horse's hooves, we do keep their feet and legs healthy through regular "picking". Maintaining a horse's hooves is how you can directly protect them from injury and illness, and is probably the most important part of a stable hand's job in prepping a horse for the day.

(source)

Horseshoes are always crafted to sit on the very outermost edges of the bottom of a horse's hoof, as that's where their feet spend the most time impacting the ground as they walk. As you look inward, their hooves actually have hollow spaces in the bottom like the arches to the sole of a person's foot. The person in the above photo is using a hoof pick to gently scrape out dirt, mud, rocks, and any other bad stuff that can get gunked up in those hollow spots.

In my experience, horses are often trained to lift each leg on command for picking-time by either a verbal command, or a gentle squeeze to the tendon on the leg you want them to lift. For most of my working time, the signal was two light squeezes on the back of the leg.

Once a horse lifts their leg up for picking, it's easier for people who have limited physical strength to straddle either side of the horse's bent leg, facing away from the horse's face, and help keep the hoof held up with one hand while picking and cleaning it out with the other. While we're picking, we're looking closely for anything that could hurt the horse later. The #1 worst thing to find in a horse's hoof is a rusty nail, which are very, very common around a farm setting, and can cause a serious and life-threatening infection if it's able to pierce the horse's foot. We also check for any smells or visual signs that the horse is injured or hurting.

Regarding horseshoes and nail trims: It's pretty uncommon for your everyday stablehand to trim your horse's hooves. A significant, yet essential, cost for any horse owner is maintaining a ferrier, or horse foot specialist, whose main job is to maintain a horse's feet. Many nowadays are also equipped to make and fit their own horseshoes on-site for if your horse "casts a shoe" (has a horseshoe come loose and fall off), so they can fit them with a new one at the same time as they're trimming up their nails. I met one ferrier that actually had a miniature forge in the back of his work truck. It was awesome watching him work.

Stage 3: The Bath Begins

For the sake of their long-term health, most working ranches will see to it that their horses are bathed daily - sometimes multiple times - just like giant dogs. Horses that aren't ridden every day or are otherwise kept more like pets don't typically need as much bathing, but you should never put tack on a dirty horse. Horses don't have fur; they have hair like humans do, and so we use special horse-formulated shampoos and conditioners for bathtime, even in winter when it's so cold your hands go numb carrying in the water buckets.

I've never encountered a horse that was bothered by cold water, but that's because I live in a region that gets very cold winters, and I always bathed horses inside the barn where it was warm on days where it was very cold out. Some horses will refuse to cooperate unless they have tepid or warm water to bathe with (or will only allow a cold water bath if it's already very hot outside), and you have to be careful when around their legs and feet, since they'll sometimes stomp their legs from the sensation of water dripping off them.

For the most part, you only need to wash a horse from neck to backside, and down their legs, and you want to get them wet with their bathwater first before you apply any shampoo. Then, gently rub/massage with a soft sponge or grooming gloves until caked-on mud gives way and the shampoo starts to really lift away dirt and grime. We always wash manes and tails, but we never use shampoo or soap on their faces! Like I said before, a soft, damp cloth and regular water is usually all that's needed to bathe a horse's face.

Blow-drying horses isn't usually something I'm used to seeing, as they don't tend to appreciate the noise. Microfiber towels, or even just regular paper towels, combined with a sweat scraper are usually enough to get the horse comfortable and able to air-dry the rest of the way. After the excess water is gone is when coat conditioners or skin moisturizers are applied, and if a horse needs to stay pretty before a show or event, it's not unusual to line their stalls with wood shavings instead of straw beforehand. Wood shavings wick away the moisture they want to roll off, and are also pretty easy to brush off before it's showtime.

Phase Three: Tacking Up

I'm going to break this up into two examples: English, and Western style tack. There is an absolutely massive array of different kinds of tack all over the world, but the most common forms of riding and tacking in the Western world are English and Western, and I'll be comparing the tack used in both.

Blankets:

English Saddle Blanket:

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Western Saddle Blanket:

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Blankets or saddle pads are essential to riding! Saddle blankets/pads help protect the saddle - which are universally Not Cheap - from the horse's sweat, dirt, and shed hair, the blanket itself also protects the horse from developing sores on their backs from the friction of the rider moving in the saddle. Generally speaking, the very first thing we grab when it's time to tack up the horse is the blanket or pad that goes under the saddle.

The essential aesthetic difference between Western and English blankets is mainly that: aesthetics. Western blankets tend to be a lot bigger and almost always rectangular, made of a heavy material like wool or alpaca fleece, and bearing some kind of flashy pattern woven into the blanket itself - the most common styles being either made by or reminiscent of local Native American art styles. An English blanket or pad is either much smaller (again, a key to the aesthetic of the English riding style is subtlety), can be made of smoother and lighter fabrics, and can even even cut specifically to fit beneath the saddle with as little excess material showing as possible.

Speaking of, a lot of indigenous groups in America sell things like hand-woven saddle blankets at shows, farmer's markets, and online as a way of supporting their community! There's nothing wrong with you, as a non-Native American, buying from a community that's willingly selling to you, and it's a great way to help both show them monetary support as well as show off their work to other potential customers. Horse-people talk a lot about where they get their gear!

Western vs English Saddles:

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As you may be able to see, Western saddles are a lot more complicated than English saddles, mostly because they're designed for different types of riding.

English saddles, and English riding, is usually considered the typical "fancy rich people horse show" riding style, and the most common things done with that riding style is something commonly called "showing". Western riders tend to practice more competition-based, sports-centered riding, while English riding is more about showing off you and your horse's grace, etiquette, and bearing, and it's usually the horse that gets the most scrutiny out of the judges; being assessed for the quality of their gait and their precision and speed in completing tasks like a jumping obstacle course.

As a result, English saddles don't have that many bells and whistles to them, and generally tend to be designed to be as light and unassuming as possible. As I've said before, I've never liked English riding, because I feel fragile in the saddle and like I can't really get stable to go fast, as I am a speed freak in the saddle.

Western saddles were designed to be tough, heavy, stand up to a lot of abuse, and give the rider plenty of room on the horse's back to move around and work. Western saddles are built to be less likely to slide off the center of the horse's back if the rider has to lean hard on one stirrup (such as to shoot a gun sideways or lasso a sprinting cow before it can barrel off the side of a gully and get itself killed). The iconic horn is largely used for holding things like coils of rope, and it's considered a Western riding etiquette no-no to cling to the horn for stability. The horn is not there to stabilize you. It's there to keep your hands free.

The stirrups are also very different. A Western style stirrup needs to be much thicker underneath the rider's foot in order to give the rider a better platform to stand on, as well as more static friction (yeah, physics is involved in this stuff) to keep them stable in the saddle when the horse is moving very fast or very aggressively while they're also doing their own thing on the horse's back. The extra long fenders compared to the English knee pad are also there to help keep the saddle itself, which can weigh up to 60lbs/27kgs, centered so it doesn't slide and dump the rider off!

English stirrups are more there to slot into the heel of a riding boot, which always have a tiny bit of a heel regardless of whether it's designed for a male foot or a female one, as the heel serves an active purpose for the riding process rather than being there for fashion. Riding boots are designed with a channel in the heel to more securely and comfortably align with the stirrups, and don't need to be very thick or tremendously sturdy to heavy use, as English riding is more about showing off the skill and communication between the rider and the horse with as few flaws as possible vs. something more sports-oriented like target shooting, where the judges are factoring in your accuracy:speed ratio.

The Dreaded Cinch:

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Depending on the rider and the style, a saddle can have either one or two cinches (leather belly straps). The frontmost strap usually fits behind the horse's front legs, out of the way where it could cause the horse any harm while running, and often comes with a pad to keep the strap from chafing the skin, and to help keep the front portion of the saddle centered. Most horses don't mind that strap, as it just needs to be tight enough to fit.

What every horse I've ever met hated is the center belly cinch, which is the primary cinch for a lot of riders. It's critical to keeping you, the rider, alive on horseback, but it's one of the least fun sensory experiences for the horse due to how tightly it needs to be drawn to keep the saddle steady regardless of speed. Some horses will inflate their bellies to look fatter while you're tightening the cinch up to try and trick you into leaving it a notch or two too loose. It doesn't actually hurt them to have the cinch properly tightened; they just find the sensation annoying and can get mischievous if they're having a lazy day.

After the belly cinch is tightened, if you share your saddle (such as if you're taking classes and rent the tack that goes on your horse), you also want to adjust the length of the stirrups to properly suit the length of your legs. If you own your saddle and aren't getting any taller or shorter, this is usually a skippable part because you've already done it a while ago.

Bridles:

Once again, there are different kinds of bridles for different uses! There are bitless bridles, like this:

Reasons for using bitless bridles can vary. A bridle with a bit usually doesn't do any harm to the horse while providing more control to the rider over where the horse is going with its head. Horses that spook easily, are prone to misbehaving, or just aren't very thoroughly trained yet are usually trained on bridles with bits in order so the rider can take control of the horse's head and better guide them in the direction they need to go.

Bitless bridles are naturally more comfortable for the horse, since nothing has to go in their mouths, and allows for them to do things like graze freely if you're riding them out in pastures and spaces where you're likely to take breaks from riding in places where food is growing. Horses with sensory issues, that were late in being trained to ride, or that have dental problems a bit would irritate tend to do better with bitless bridles, but the rider themselves have to be willing to sacrifice that extra control and trust the horse more.

What are bits for and what types are there?

The main bit types I've seen most in my experience are Snaffle Bits.

Snaffle Bits:

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As you can see, there are quite a few varieties of snaffle bits. In horse terminology, snaffle bits are considered "severe" bits, although they don't actually do any harm to the horse. "Severe" is more meant to describe the level of control and rigidity the bit provides to the rider compared to the level of freedom the horse has when they're riding together. Most horses are trained on and completely fine with snaffle bits, and if they do have any issues, the owner can switch types to see if the horse is more comfortable with a different type.

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With bits, their primary uses are to communicate with and direct the course of the horse's head when the rider pulls on or relaxes the reins in their grip. Some horses can be very flighty and need the help of a sturdy bit that has the potential of pinching the corners of their lips if the rider has to pull too hard to get them under control in the event of a scare. For other horses that don't need as much correction or situational control, they respond best to the sensation of the metal's pressure even on their tongue and lower jaw and move in the direction they feel the metal press the most firmly in their mouth.

Bits do not automatically destroy a horse's teeth. What a lot of people who haven't worked with horses aren't totally conscious of is that horse's jaw looks like:

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Between their frontmost teeth and molars, there's a huge gap where there's nothing but free space, and a bridle's bit is usually so small compared to the space the horse naturally has in its mouth that they can often comfortably graze and drink water with the bit still in, although some will try their hardest to spit the bit out when they want to eat, but that's more of a preference than a pain issue. Their front teeth are used for plucking food out of the ground (or biting the shit out of your unsuspecting stable hand's love handle when they're distracted), and they use their tongues to guide the food back toward their molars to chew. Experienced horses can often figure out how to eat around the bit still in their mouths, but they don't like it, and nice riders will take the bit out (you can do this without removing the bridle) when they're not needed so the horse can have its mouth back.

My character is in from riding. What's the routine like after you're done?

Firstly, if the horse is very hot and still huffing and puffing from all the work/running it's been doing, we'll swap their bridles out for halters, put them on a leading rope:

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Which, yes, can be tied into a bridle if you aren't a raging lazy ass like I was if you have the right type of rope, and then we'll take the horse on a cool-down walk in the paddock or a covered arena.

Like joggers and other heavy-exercisers, it's essential for the health of the horse's heart to help them slowly wind back down from working themselves into a literal sweat for so their heart rate gently returns to a lower pace. Stopping an overheated and overworked horse cold can actually be more stressful on them than if you take them for a slow, steady walk (sometimes just in circles until they slow down to a stop on their own), until they're steady and relaxed enough to be ready to tack down, brush out, and either let them back out to the paddock to roam, or put them to bed in their stall for the night with some fresh food and water. Their hooves are re-picked and checked again for any signs of damage or wear, and if they're especially sweaty, may need some towel-off time with a sweat-scraper and actual towels or fistfuls of straw.

The final, most important part of the day:

Spending quality one-on-one time with the horse with no tack, no riding, and no fussing around with work. Horses love to play, they crave affection and attention, and are extremely intelligent and curious. They get zoomies. They can be complete dorks. They can be love-bugs. They can even be protectors. They love following their favorite people around and watching what they're doing, and even try to involve themselves somehow (usually by flagrant acts of hat/jacket theft). They can get bored and destructive like puppies and kittens. If they're lonely for you and you haven't visited in a while, they'll chew on the edge of their fence to comfort themselves - it's called "cribbing".

You know those videos showing quirky families that live with a horse in their house part-time or full-time? That's not that unrealistic for horses at all. They're highly social, and prefer to sleep and live in close groups. They love to be pet and scratched, and often will try to reciprocate shows of cuddling and affection the best they can.

When a horse loves their rider, riding becomes fun for them both! When there's a real bond between them, the tacking and riding process can all be part of what the horse perceives as play and bonding time. Horses that are trained to do handle other sports, such as horseback sharpshooting, barrel racing, racing in general, polo, and the like can also genuinely enjoy the sports they play like human athletes!