#so thats when I came up with this idea of him thinking about said candidates

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 9: Love

I think that he forgot his love identity too… 💓💦

[nitrowyverine]

Finally played the TOUCHSTARVED Demo! Still thinking about it over a week later.

(Above: Steam banner image for TOUCHSTARVED from Red Spring Studios)

I love it SO MUCH. and i have QUESTIONS. my extended thoughts below the cut [Demo spoilers included]

General thoughts:

this game is SO up my alley that it's insane. local goth gaming nerd is kicking their feet and giggling

the music? and sound design? It's honestly incredible, even beyond the infamous Every Time We Touch cover (Which is how I found this game). We all have to be giving more props to the music/sound work, it absolutely punches the experience up so many notches. When a soundtrack is released I'm immediately keeping it on hand for all my tabletop needs

absolutely enamored with the backstory mechanic. It adds so much individual depth to the character. you can feel attached to your MC without them being a complete blank slate. I absolutely love that different MC backstories have you pick up different details about the characters. (My favorite is The Hound immediately picking out who the leaders are amongst the group, in contrast to the other MC backgrounds)

I wanna eat the backgrounds. I wanna eat them whole. They're so detailed and colorful and have a great sense of depth. 100000/10

Specific character thoughts/theories:

(Images courtesy of the Touchstarved character Lore posts from the Red Spring Studio socials. I'll be linking them in each of the character's names)

Ais:

Thank you, Red Spring studios, for blessing the players with the ability to bite him if you're an ass to him the entire demo. You truly know what we want

Lore seems to indicate that Ais came over from the demon realm for some unknown reason, and was possibly some kind of demon king or leader? Fascinated to learn what happens there

Ngl the Seaspring looks like it would taste good. My favorite raspberry/rhubarb tea looks just like the Seaspring water. Gimme the group juice.

Question: If Ais gets infected with MC's madness....does that mean. the WHOLE groupmind gets infected? Humans and soulless alike? That's a city-destroying disaster waiting to happen

CONCLUSION: Most likely to adopt 6 dogs instead of picking up the groceries. Least likely to let you have the car aux cable.

Kuras:

I do believe Kuras is the actual best shot at a cure/treatment of all candidates. Assuming the curse is some level of demonic, an angel's touch is probably the best bet.

Let me be clear here though, I do think he might just go "Well you can just like. not have arms" and take them. That is a possibility

Most of the other characters I can get a rough idea of what they want and why. Kuras? I have NO idea what his goal is, which is very frightening.

Twitter bio image does say "Repentant Angel", and that his fatal flaw is "his sins can only be repaid through suffering". Possible linkage to Lovent's fall? Or another major disaster?

its okay sweaty we all get The Guilt (tm)

If Kuras somehow gets MC's maddness (I have a feeling it may not effect him? but if it did) that would just. end the world right there.

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be the one guy you might be able to bring home to your parents. Least likely to put on oven mitts to take a frozen pizza out of the oven.

Vere:

I love Vere for being the character I thought I could trust the least, turning into a character I actually trust allot. I trust him to be extremely dangerous. He probably wasn't lying when he said his heart is on his sleeve.

Also, big props for having him just kill you in one of the demo endings. What a guy, I love him, no notes

Wait what he's over 100 according to his birthday post. thats, allot? older? than I thought?. okay yeah the lore posts mention he's a possible deity figure. not comforting

Vere is very fae-logic coded. Like, the words he says can be true and false at the same time. Don't tell him your name, he will cannibalize you for fun, etc etc ya know fae stuff.

i will protect him always

CONCLUSION: Most likely to fuck your dad. Least likely to be your new stepdad.

Mihn:

Mihn is much dodgier than the rest, but I think that makes them more trustworthy. They're not as interested as playing games.

I nominate Mihn as a secondary protagonist, since Leander, Ais, and Kuras seem to be interested in them quite a bit. Even Vere has a rivalmance kinda thing going for Mihn. If MC didn't show up, that would be the dating sim right there

I'm excited by the lore post and the implications that Mihn is from Lovent (or has traveled there? and survived?) and potentially getting greater lore expansion about the world surrounding Eridia

I think it's interesting that their strength stat is relatively low compared to the others, yet they're one of the characters that actually uses their strength in the demo.

Also, I think we see the least of their "monstrous form" of everyone in the demo (minus their ability to dodge in and out of shadows). I'm thrilled to see what their monstrous form actually entails.

Mihn would survive bloodborne. That's it thats the entire thought

CONCLUSION: Most likely to do all the work in a group project. Least likely to be chill during Mario Party.

Leander:

OKAY ALL OF MY QUESTIONS ARE HERE. I AM DEEPLY AFRAID. Something is absolutely wrong but we have no current ability to pinpoint what it is.

I've seen theories Leander is dead. However, in Vere's route, he mentions that Leander smells like aftershave. While this could be part of an extra-elaborate ruse, hair doesn't grow after death (Minus the appearance of it happening due to natural decay processes) so he wouldn't need to shave. However, I am betting on him being involved in some sort of un-death cycle.

actually I can guarantee his story is all about cycles. Has anyone else mentioned how his belt is the triple goddess symbol.

you know. the symbol of maiden/mother/crone. birth/life/death. beginning/middle/end. like

Moving on, the vast majority of his smiles are forced (Mouth is smiling, but there's no eye movement/crinkle that would indicate it's genuine). That is enough of a red flag but honey I am so much more worried about my next point:

WHERE DOES HE GET HIS MONEY. He's constantly buying rounds of drinks for a packed bar. It's briefly mentioned his clothes are nice. He pays for anything MC needs. However, says Bloodhound rates are "Free". Where does he GET HIS MONEY for all of this. Twitter posts from Red Spring point out he doesn't accept bribes (at least overtly).

WAIT I'M REREADING THIS POST WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE SILENT CRYPTS.

Looking again at Leander's stat post. The Ouroboros in the background is. Not comforting. Also, "Forbidden Magic"? yeah I have a feeling we know why he's not in the Senobium

Theory, potentially Leander is currently being paid by the Senobium to maintain lowtown/Silent Crypts order? I think there's still a connection between them. Like the Senobuim can remain detached while having ties to whatever horrible things Leander is doing.

Okay, in the twitter relationship charts it says that Kuras has looked out for Leander "Since he was young". Kuras probably knows. SO much we don't.

When Mihn scolds Leander for not telling MC to be off the streets past dark. I think Leander intentionally "Forgot" to mention that. I think he wanted the MC to see how dangerous Eridia was so MC would stay closer to Leander for safety. I think it was a very intentional manipulation tactic.

(Furthermore, did he actually cast a spell of luck on MC when he gave them the lilies from his introduction magic trick? Then bet on the MC living through the day?)

I do think Leander's surprise at MC going out to the Seaspring was genuine, since his spit-take clashes so starkly with his cool-guy demeanor.

I also have a feeling that Leander has been past the veil/shroud. he's doing something fucky and the veil is prime fuckery territory.

(Are we...going to get a timeloop story????)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to dramatically use himself as a human bridge over a small puddle (as an excuse to get walked on). Least likely to remember to go to bed after playing Stardew Valley for 13 hours straight.

Touchstarved game things I'm concerned about:

(I feel like I wouldn't be doing my game designer duties if I didn't point out my concerns as well. To be fair, there aren't many.)

I hope the bad endings get fucked up, story-wise. Since it's a horror game, I know it might turn some people off to have things go super wrong, but I really hope they do. I want to see some endless pain vortexes, some real Juniji Ito-style suffering. But I would also understand if the devs want to softball some of the worst outcomes for the sake of widespread appeal.

We all have countless examples of kickstarter games looking strong out the gate, but then falling flat upon release. While I have high hopes for Touchstarved, I do know the reality and intense difficulty of kickstarter games. I'm really hoping the demo isn't the best the studio will have to offer.

OVERALL: I am rooting for the Touchstarved team/Red Spring Studio all the way! I'm thrilled to see where this game goes. I am poised on this purchase button and ready to buy when it releases.

[tuancore]

Lost You (Part 11) :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

Standing outside your apartment's door, you examined the door briefly, every single line and curve, remembering the time when you both first moved to this apartment after coming to Seoul, everything flashing before your eyes, rethinking your each and every decision in life. When you first came to Seoul, you felt like an outcast but with Jinyoung by your side, you had that hope of everything going to be alright, can't believe that same Jinyoung became so unfamiliar to you. Twisting the doorknob, you stepped in, just like the first time you entered with him.

Your eyes were covered with a velvety blindfold, you felt like stumbling every now and then in your heels, not knowing where he was actually taking you. He took you by surprise by picking you up in his arms, your hand naturally flying behind his shoulders. He chuckled seeing that terrified expression on your face, "Easy, angel I'm not going to drop you".

"Jinyoung, I swear if you're taking me to some horror house, you know how horrible they are" But he didn't reply you but kept on chuckling, making your stomach churn with anticipation. A ding sound, perked your ears, it was an elevator. He stepped out of it walking for awhile and then stopping again, "Angel,I found the best place for us, exactly what we were looking for", stepping in he gently placed you on your feet, slipping your blindfold.

"Welcome to our home" He grinned, seeing your shocked reaction. You gasped seeing all the showpieces and furnitures, all were exactly the same what you used to always discuss with him. You faced him with tears of joy in your eyes, smiling adoringly at him, "Everything....is exactly the same...". He nodded, hugging you gently while you melted in his arms,"You're such a crybaby..." Wiping your tears he cupped your face with both of his hands,staring into your eyes, he said,"I promise you angel, as long as I am with you I won't let you shed a single drop of tear. And that I'll keep you forever happy and safe in my arms".

The truth is promises are meant to be broken. You always heard that but never believed it until today. All of his words were nothing but sugar coated sweet talks, none of his promise were meant to keep. Dragging your feet to the middle of the living room, you stared at the large couch, it was Jinyoung's decision to keep it there so that you both could cuddle and watch movies on Sundays in each other's arms.

What was that for if he couldn't trust you enough?

Your gaze shifted towards the wall in the front, which at this point looked like some stalker's wall. Jinyoung out of many of his hobbies he was very much passionate for photography as well, and his all time favourite muse was you. You remember, how he used to budge you night and day to pose for him, most of the time you obliged which made him always run after you with a camera. After some time you got irritated, of his constant clicking, so you strictly ordered him to not to click your pics.

"Okay Okay! I won't ask you anymore to pose for me" He rose his hands in surrender, seeing a huge pout on your face.

He loved clicking your pics but it got irritating for you, since you wanted to enjoy moments with him without phones and cameras while he wanted to capture all the moments to reminisce about. So he found another way to keep on clicking your pics rather asking you to pose for him, he took your candid shots, whenever you fell asleep, or when you watered the plants, or when you cooked, when you jammed to your favorite songs, when you read books, or whenever you did some work on your laptop. He just loved you and only you. The wall was wall less and your face in frames more.

What was that for if he couldn't love you enough?

Out of so many pictures one was your favourite, subconsciously you walked closer to the frame taking out from the wall, caressing the image ever so lightly. It was a photo which was a candid shot clicked by JB, when you all went to the Disneyland in LA while visiting Mark's parents there.

"Why are you grinning like that?" Mark asked seeing your stupid grin, but failed to noticed two cones of ice cream in your hands. So you extended your hands showing him the cones, "My favourite ice cream!".

"Two cones? Each with five scoops?" Jackson commented not believing your childishness, "Ten scoops, are you even a girl?". Glaring at him you muttered 'idiot',"Of course I'm a girl that's why I love ice cream".

"More than Jinyoung?" Youngjae asked, teasing you on purpose. "Obviously!", You tilted the heads of both the cones forming a triangle as they the topmost scoops touched eachother, others mouthing an 'Ugh'. Your sparkly eyes became crescent happily biting on the scoops at once, when all of a sudden Jinyoung appeared out of nowhere back hugging you, his mouth on top of your head making it look as if he was about to bite you. Thats when JB clicked it. It was such an adorable picture and your favourite as well.

Someone really has said the truth, that only pictures last forever. Gripping the huge photogframe harshly in your hands, you threw it with a sudden force making it land at the corner of the room with a loud shattering noise. Everything was already over, so what was the need to keep reminiscing over such petty things.

___________

"Youngjae-ah.....Why?....." Jinyoung whispered in disbelief holding onto Youngjae's shoulder, he couldn't believe that Youngjae whom he thought of his smaller brother would hurt him in the most cruel way possible.

"It's not only Youngjae hyung but your so called friend Jisoo too" BamBam hissed, at the thought of Jisoo. Jinyoung snapped at BamBam with shock, another hard punch in his gut, "What are you saying?....".

"Yes, Youngjae and Jisoo were the ones playing you, noona and Jackson hyung like a puppet without any of your knowledge and if you think I'm lying then why don't you ask Youngjae hyung yourself" BamBam concluded with a stern face. Jinyoung turned around facing Youngjae with a furious eyes.

"Why the fuck would you do this to us?! Why Youngjae!?! Why!!" Jinyoung snarled gritting his teeth, his hands wrapped around Youngjae's throat almost cutting his oxygen, Mark and Jackson pulled him from Youngjae while he coughed his lungs out, his own tears spilling out.

"Because I love her....I always have....It hurt everytime I saw her in your arms smiling and giggling, I—.....I felt that it could've been me instead of you whom she loved more than her life.....and to protect my heart from bleeding anymore. I seperated you both" Youngjae's explanation made everyone beyond shocked. They all never thought the reason behind it was another complication.

"The fuck did you say Youngjae!!" Jinyoung growled breaking from Jackson's and Mark's grasp, landing a harsh punch on Youngjae's face which made him fall on the couch behind him, Jinyoung hovered over him punching him a few more times.

"Stop It Jinyoung! Stop it!!" Jaebeom and Mark shouted trying to get him to stop but he was too mad to pay attention to those words, when Youngjae pushed Jinyoung from him throwing a punch at his face, with blood gushing out of his own nose.

"STOP IT! JINYOUNG, STOP IT! CHOI YOUNGJAE!".

Youngjae got up on his feet, wiping the blood spurting out of his nose from his hoodie's sleeves, his cheeks also scraped from Jinyoung's hard punches.

"Since when?" Jackson asked sternly, glaring at him. Youngjae smiled at the mere thought of you, continuing, "Since University, she was my senior. I fell in love with her over time, she was not only gorgeous but kind as well. She saved me from getting bullied almost for an year and after that everyone stopped bullying me, how could I just not fall for her? I planned to confess her but Jinyoung hyung beat me to it! And my heart shattered when she accepted his love, I was broken......".

"Bullshit! You never told me that you were getting bullied back then!Plus she never told me" Jinyoung asserted. "I was! But whenever I was with you all I saw was you drowning in stress to get your master's degree and your father's constant ranting, so I kept quiet!".

"She never told you because I asked her to promise me to not to let you know about me getting bullied otherwise you'll get another reason to stress over and I didn't want you to!"Youngjae informed with his fists clenched in rage, "When she finally became your girlfriend, I thought of moving on so I tried dating but hell not a single girl I've been with could compare to her, I tried hard to convince myself that she belonged to you, she loves you but no my heart wouldn't listen.....it continued to ache for her, how could I just throw away the love which I had for her for past five years!".

With that Youngjae began to untangle all the strings, how he saw Jisoo working for Jinyoung, and from the way she looked at his with those heart eyes was enough to tell that she was in love with him, so he proposed the idea to Jisoo while as accepted it without any second thoughts. All they were waiting was for a right time and a perfect plan, and they got that exact opportunity when he saw you and Jackson meeting frequently without Jinyoung in range.

Coming to those photographs, he didn't had to do much at all, he simply clicked the pictures of Jackson's bedroom with every minor details, and technology gave him the exact environment Jackson's room had, but the real problem was in finding a boy who had same physique as that of Jackson and vice versa for the girl, so that your faces could be photoshoped accordingly, but that stupid girl forgot to hide her streaked hair.

"If you loved noona so much then why did you slut shame her like this?" Yugyeom snapped. "Jinyoung hyung was always insecure of the boys around her, so I kicked him on his weak spot. I couldn't believe when he believed in those fake photographs more than his own girl, I guess he really didn't deserve her".

"Youngjae......it's not love, it's obsession. Love is when you let the person you love just be happy, you completely shattered her! Jisoo and you both hurt the persons you loved! If you really loved her your heart would've ripped out everytime she suffered! It's not love Youngjae-ah, it's your obsession,it can't be love, it's not love........it's not......." JB croaked out choking on his own tears.

"After what you've done to her, Do you think she'll ever come to you? Do you?" Mark belted angrily. "She won't come to me but atleast she won't go to him either" Youngjae hollered with a sick grin, "And that's enough for me. If she can't be mine then she won't be his either".

"Youngjae fucking get out before we really do something to you which we'll regret for eternity!" JB yelled, motioning towards the door, shooting a last smirking gaze towards Jinyoung, he left without a protest.

Jinyoung dropped to his knees, feeling all the pain you felt through these days, all the tears you've shed for the pain he has given you. Small painful whimpers escaping his lips, everyone watched him crying.

"As much as I want to sympathise with you.....I can't, it's you who have brought this upon yourself" JB commented with a poker face eventhough his heart ached for Jinyoung. JB's remark send him further into the pit of guilt and remorse.

"Please..... forgive me......please....." Jinyoung stammered out sobbing hard, "I'm sorry.....I'm so so sorry", he just kept on pleading to the others, even when they were hurting seeing him before their eyes they were well aware that sooner or later this day will come, and Jinyoung will regret his each and every deed.

"You are sorry? You should be sorry. After whatever you've done to her, Do you think you deserve forgiveness?" Jackson crouched down beside him, his words hitting Jinyoung's heart like a dagger.

"Jackson.....I'm sorry......please forgive me. I was so wrong" He cried hugging Jackson, even if he wanted to hate Jinyoung, he couldn't Jinyoung was not only his friend but more of a brother. Unable to control his tears, Jackson sobbed hugging Jinyoung tightly letting him cry on his shoulder.

"Jinyoung hyung.....at some point we all can forgive you but the question is, Will Noona forgive you?" Yugyeom countered in a mere whisper. Jinyoung clutched onto Jackson's shirt, mumbling a quiet "No....".

"How am I supposed to apologise to her?" Jinyoung stared at Jackson for some assurance but found none, "I....I called my angel.....a slut.....how can I? I am such a monster, I even slapped her......when all she did was telling me the truth.....I hurt her, My angel begged me on her knees still I accused her of something so horrible. How can I be so heartless?....... Jackson, I—I made her feel so inferior......" Jinyoung gulped the knot forming in his throat as realisation hit him, facing BamBam he stammered, "BamBam....you said she is pregnant..... I—I despised my own child....our child.....How monstrous was I to hurt her this bad!!......".

By now everyone's eyes gleamed with tears, it was surely painful for him, but it wasn't anything compared to yours. Jinyoung has completely robbed you of your happiness, your everything, he tossed you away like you never meant anything to him while you continued to prove your innocence stepping on your self respect, self esteem. To be honest, he didn't deserve any forgiveness at all.

"Even if everything was set up by Youngjae and Jisoo, the way the things have degraded to, wouldn't have if you.....you" BamBam pointed out his finger at Jinyoung, "If you had faith on Noona, even a tiny bit, none of this would be happening right now. Instead of you crying here and she there, you both would be laughing and smiling in each other's arms........Loving eachother, accept it or not but you never trusted her enough. The way she was hurt, when you chose Jisoo over her......Gosh I can never forget the look in her eyes, She looked dead......so dead!".

Yugyeom patted BamBam's back with an attempt to calm him down, Yugyeom continued, "You can only pray for noona to forgive you. Everything is in her hands now".

The intense air subsided around everyone as BamBam's phone rang, answering the call immediately, he whispered, "Hello...".

The words from the other end broke BamBam to his soul, the phone slipped through his hands as he stared at Jinyoung completely emotionless.

"Noona had.....she had.....a miscarriage".

Part 10 // Part 11 // Part 12

Note: I'm not editing the drafts before posting them, so if you guys spot any errors, please let it slide, thank you so much ~~~

_______________________________________

[pagingevilspawn]

Photographs

okay, so thanks to @doc-pickles and @iamtrebleclefstories i’ve been obsessed with with soulmate fanfics in this fandom and the stranger things fandom, so all idea credit goes to those two! 

its also been posted on my wattpad as part of my one shots book- to build a home. i’m not very good with links haha. 

A soulmate AU where on your 16th birthday, you receive three photos of your soulmate

____

His sixteenth birthday was honestly not something he was looking forward to. He knew his mom wouldn't be stable enough to cook him a cake like she had when he was younger, before her condition worsened to the point where nearly all her days were bad ones, unlike how it had been the previous year. He knew she wouldn't cup his face in her hands and softly speak, "Alex, my sweetest boy. My truest love." as she stroked his cheeks ever so tenderly. His dad wasn't around anymore, which he knew was a positive thing, well, he supposed it was.

But it was still the first birthday without his dad in it, and that thought made him sad. Not a lot, but a little. Just because all of his birthdays for the past nine years had been his dad telling him that he was a waste of space and a 'fucking idiot' didn't mean he didn't miss him in the smallest way shape or form. He was still his dad after all. The guy who brought him to the fair when he was younger. The guy who briefly taught him how to play guitar. And on the rare occasion when he was sober for about a week or so, would bring Alex out to fix up a pick up truck his dad planned to give him on his sixteenth birthday, but ultimately started using not long before his fifteenth.

He knew Aaron and Amber would maybe do something, but he knew there wasn't much they could do. They were only four and ten. They shouldn't do anything for their brother because he was feeling crappy about a day that didn't even mean that much to him.

Ugh. Birthdays. He thought they were really stupid. Why make a big deal out of the day you were born? Especially if nobody really seemed to care much about your existence.

That's why when he awoke on his sixteenth birthday he was surprised. He'd completely forgotten about what happened on the day everyone had told him about since, well... since he could remember. Some of the things people said to him when he was still was a small boy were nice and comforting, something that made him look forward to this special day, like "Oh, what a lucky women that boy's soulmate will be," was something he got often when he was younger, before his mom's schizophrenia and before his dad's substance abuse. He used to be a really sweet kid. He gave his lollipops to others who looked like they wanted it more, he shared his toys with people in the park. He talked and interacted with everyone from a young age. He was a cute kid too, he remembered. That's what people always said. They would pinch his chubby cheeks and ruffle his dark brown hair, which would lead to Alex giving them his signature crooked smile, which warmed the hearts of many. "What a sweet soulmate he will be.", "The special girl won't know what hit her!" , "He will treat her like a queen i'm sure." thats what daycare teachers and random moms at the park used to say to his parents, complimenting him on how well little Alex treated their daughters. While most boys his age we certain that girls had cooties, Alex just simply talked to him and played with them like they were just a normal person. Not to mention, what a little charmer he was. He was a flirt from the moment he was born. He told some girls he thought they were 'weally pwetty' and said he liked the bows in their hair or the outfit they were wearing. He had mad game. Even from the young age of four he had somehow even managed to completely charm his preschool teacher Ms. Ryan, who he thought was the most beautiful women to ever walk the face of the earth at the time (other than his mom). Ms. Ryan definitely favored Alex, always giving him extra treats at snack, or letting him out first to go to recess. Turns out, being thirty three and a four year old boy telling you on an almost daily basis that 'your dwess is supa pwetty Ms. Ryan' or 'i wike your hair vwery much' was a major confidence booster.

It all changed when he was five though, when his mom's condition was getting worse and his dad started using more and more and more. The situation just decreased as the years went on. Out were the compliments and looks of adoration and in rolled the dirty glares and not-so secret whispers. "What a poor girl to have him as her soulmate.", "I would hate for my daughter to be tied to him forever.", "Let's just hope his soulmate can put up with him." were the ones he heard instead. It used to hurt, but now he didn't mind. He didn't have any friends, any girlfriends, just some mere acquaintances. All he could really say he had were about half of the school's females tucked under his belt. Something he didn't actually care about. Sex was a defense mechanism. Sex made him feel wanted. If some girl was throwing herself at him, he took the opportunity. He felt like he was wanted, even if it was just for twenty minutes in some random parking lot.

He didn't really care for birthdays.

So, imagine his surprise when he woke up that morning to find an orange envelope on his dresser table. It was then he remembered. He remembered that the day of your sixteenth birthday you found out who your soulmate was.

He grabbed the folder so quickly it was like a flash of light. This envelope gave him hope. Hope that one day, someone would care about him. Because, that was the point of soulmates, right? A soulmate was someone who was made for you. Someone who would be okay with all the crap life had thrown at him. Some who would love you. Because, his soulmate would right? Right. She had to. He needed somebody. He really, really needed somebody. And his soulmate was his somebody. Hopefully.

With that thought he takes a deep breath and nearly rips the envelope open. He pulls out the three photos in it delicately, not wanting to even risk a crease or fold forming on the photos. He flips them over one by one.

The three photos.

Wow.

The three photos he'd been hearing about since he was a little boy.

The first one, as he had learned, is what your soulmate looked like on the day of their sixteen birthday, whether it be in the future or the past.

He feels stupid, really stupid. He was smiling like a god damn idiot.

She was hot, his soulmate. Really hot.

Her long brown hair was in gentle curls, natural he could tell. He knew what real curls were versus curling iron ones. She had bright golden eyes. He swore, they were like actual gold. They had specks of green, yellow, and honey. A little beauty mark sat by her right lip. And those lips? They were plump, full, and a bright pink. In the photo she was smiling. He really liked her smile. It was joyous, it made him feel happy, in a way he'd never felt before. He assumed she was laughing, based on the fact that her head was slightly tilted back. From what he could tell, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a flannel. He liked that about her, the fact that she wasn't wearing whatever uncomfortable shit he'd seen some girls at his school wear. She looked like she was dressed how she wanted to and wasn't gonna let society or school cliques tell her otherwise.

He let out a small sigh as he placed down the photo delicately, as if he dropped it any harsher it would break like glass. He picks up the second photo, another smile gracing his lips as he studies it.

The second photo was always of your soulmate the day you met. Well, more specifically, the first time you meet. In his, the girl looked even more beautiful. Except now, she wasn't a girl, she was a woman, and that was obvious. Her face was a bit fuller, and instead of having her hair down this time, two strands of her dark locks were framing her face. He could tell she was in the middle of saying something, but her face wasn't frozen in some awkward position. It looked natural, like a well shot candid.

Alex placed down the second photo just as delicately as the first, setting them side by side. The third and final photo he wasn't quite ready for.

The last photo was a picture of them at their worst. When they had hit absolute rock bottom, before thirty though. Again with the age. Alex didn't get it. Why should they put an age limit on knowing your soulmate? Wasn't there a saying in wedding vows, "for better or worse"? and that was for married people for god's sake. So, why shouldn't he be able to see his soulmate at her worst? It made sense right?

Alex flipped over the photograph hesitantly, his breath getting caught in his throat.

He slams the photo down on the bed as quickly as he could, not being able to look at it any longer.

He understood now.

His soulmate was beaten and bruised, almost all her marks, scars, and bruises visible due to the nightgown she wore. In the photo she was crying, silent tears, he could tell.

He understood now, why they only let you see towards a certain age. Because what if it was worse? What if something worse had happened while his soulmate was older?

A horrible thought came to his mind, shaking it off immediately.

No, he did not do that.

He knew he didn't. He wouldn't. He'd seen his dad beat his mom again and again. He would never be like his dad. He swore on it.

But still, that lingering thought in his mind.

No.

Instead of thinking further, he picked up the first photo of her, the one wheres she is sixteen too. He studies it, knowing that by tomorrow the photo would be gone. Just like the others. That was how it worked anyways. The photos only lasted a day. The next morning, the pictures would be gone. All he knew about her would be her face, which he was going to imprint into his memory as best as he could. The universe seemed to enjoy playing games with people, so again after the one day, your memory of the photo was foggy. Very foggy. It wasn't until you actually met your soulmate when you would remember the photos you saw when you were sixteen. So, her studied her. Even laugh line, every beauty mark, every freckle (she had them sprinkled in every so lightly on her nose). He would remember it all, he told himself that. So that way when he saw her, he would know. But of course, forgetting was inevitable.

He smiles at the photo, biting his lip in a failed attempt to stop his smile from growing. It all seemed surreal to him. A soulmate. He had one? He, Alexander Michael Karev, a boy who had to grow up much younger than most, had a soulmate? Someone who would be okay with his crap?

The man was far from a romantic. He gagged at chick flicks and still felt uncomfortable when he saw any form of PDA, whether it be him or anyone else, but he swore, he thinks this girl would make him okay with everything. For this girl, he could see himself do anything. He would jump in front of a bear for her. No doubt. It didn't matter that he had never even met her. He just knew.

He shrugs the sappy thoughts away, scoffing at himself, in an attempt to not lose his 'tough guy behavior'.

Get a hold of yourself Karev. She's just a girl.

But even those thoughts couldn't erase the smile from his face.

____

On the night before her sixteenth birthday, she was anxious. Really anxious. And scared. She could barely sleep that night, tossing and turning without being able to stop in the backseat of her car. But she knew the envelope wouldn't come unless she slept, since it only showed up after you fell asleep. So, she squeezed her eyes as tight as she could like a little girl wishing to see fairies and let the exhaustion of the days events take over her.

As she awoke the next morning, she temporarily forgot everything. For her, it was jut another day, trying to pry her exhausted eyes open, her mind having a battle with her body. She makes tiny noises as she drifts towards consciousness, her brain foggy with jumbled words and half made thoughts.

When she does manage to open her eyes, she sees an orange envelope tucked into the car's window from the inside. She doesn't think much of it at first, her brain still not on the cognitive thinking side of things, until she wakes up a bit more, remembering the day it was.

She sits up with a start, grabbing the envelope and opening it carefully, but still so quickly that the photos were tumbling out.

She picks up the first from the deck. A photo of her soulmate on his sixteenth birthday. And damn, she was a lucky woman.

He had a sharp jawline, no scratch that, a really freakin sharp jawline. Like you could run your finger across and you would end up with a cut. His messy-yet-styled hair was a dark brown. He had a broad build, biceps pulsing out form the white t-shirt he wore, and a really freakin sexy half smirk. His eyes were a dark brown like his hair, but his eyes, they held something familiar. They held, loneliness. Longing. Exhaustion. That was a big one. At first glance, you couldn't tell, but she could see, behind the eyes of dark brown and bits of green, he was exhausted. Exhausted of what? She didn't know. But she could tell, since she was sure she had the same in her orbs too.  Loneliness. She felt that one too. But him? Lonely? He didn't look like the lonely type. He looked like the guys she saw at her school, the ones were girls falling at their feet and at least five different men to meet him every morning by the lockers to do a 'bro hug'. But she knew to not make assumptions. Longing. What was he longing for? A better life? Better parents? Better friends, better grades? She had no idea, but the look was clear in his eyes. But there was one more thing that shone in his seas of brown. Hope. The day of the photo was of the day of his sixteenth birthday. Could the glimmer of hope be for her? Could she be the cause of someone to believe. Probably not, but still, it never hurt to dream.

The second photo was of him the day they meet. And once again, she was a lucky lady. She couldn't quite see what he was wearing, but it looked to be some type of flimsy dark blue materiel. He had a half snarl on his face, but it didn't really look awkward, like she assumed it would on others. It looked natural, like he'd done it so many times before, it just came with ease.

He had the slightest bit of a stubble on his face, looking like he'd just shaved that morning or the night before, a bit more hair visible in the mustache area. His hair was a bit shorter than the previous photo, but not by much. It was better styled, but still looked like he had run his hands through it too many times to count. She sets the photo down next the the other one, taking a deep breath before flipping over the third and final photograph.

She intakes a sharp breath upon seeing the picture, tears pooling in her eyes at the sight in her hand. It was her soumate, lyig in a pool of his own blood, the red liquid coming from his chest.

He was shot.

In the chest, she assumed. That's where the most of the blood was at. She bites her bottom lip, trying to keep it from trembling. He was what seemed to be a metal box. An elevator? That seemed most likely. His blood stained clothes were previously a light blue, his hair shorter than the previous two photos.

The clothing, it liked familiar. Where had she seen them before? She racks her brain, trying to identify what her soulmate was wearing, purposefully ignoring the large sum of red surrounding the man.

A small smile graces her lips. Scrubs. She'd seen them on a few people when she went into town. So that meant he was doctor. Right? Or a nurse, but he didn't really look like he would be a nurse. And his scrubs were a different color than the ones in the precios picture. She assumed the clothing were scrubs in the second photo as well.

She swallowed thickly. It hurt. She felt the pain. The pain of her soulmate getting shot. It hurt like hell, and she wasn't even experiencing it first hand. But it still hurt. It felt like someone was grabbing her heart and squeezing it. It wasn't the same type of pain, but it was still pain nonetheless.

With that she sets the photo down. The fear starts to kick in then.

How would he soulmate feel about her past? He looked normal. Despite the loneliness and longing in his eyes, her looked normal.

What if she screwed it up? What if he couldn't deal with her crazy? She was Brooke. Hobo, car living, foster home, no parents Brooke.

She shoved the thoughts aside. He was her soulmate. The handsome stranger with the dark eyes that were somehow calming was her soulmate. Who knows, maybe he was just as screwed up as her.

____

Alex Karev had always been impatient. Ever since he was a little boy really.

So imagine how impatient he was when he was twenty nine years old and had still yet to meet his soulmate.

Her loved Izzie, and she had lost Denny, her soulmate. They made each other happy. They loved each other, she was probably going to die. He loved her, so they got married. He got married to someone who wasn't his soulmate. He had given up at that point. I mean, come on. Twenty nine years he'd been on this planet and he still had yet to meet his soulmate. God, he really wished he could just remember her face. He couldn't remember a single thing. Everything else from the day was clear, but the photos that held his soulmates face were a complete blur, nearly nonexistent. All he could remember were his feelings. He remembers thinking she was really hot. And he remembers feeling really happy. Too happy. He pushed the feelings aside. He loved Izzie.

And it hurt like hell when she left. They had their arguments, sure. But he loved her. He waited to kiss her because he wanted it to be special. He gave her a cupcake on her birthday because he wanted her to know she was loved. He wanted to let her know that she wasn't just another notch under his belt. He was a jerk, he knew that. He could be grumpy and he pushed people away. He guessed he pushed Izzie away.

He didn't know if he was ever going to meet his soulmate. He tried dating by and only had a list of failed relationships. And then the plane crash happened. He should've been on that plane, but Robbins boarded it instead. Maybe he would've been the one to lose a leg. Then Robbins would still be happy and making Alex gag at how in love her and Callie were. They were soulmates. It seemed like everyone had already gout their soulmate. Meredith had Derek. Callie had Arizona. Owen had Cristina, even though they had more than many disagreements. Bailey had Ben. Everybody had somebody.

Except him.

And that freakin sucked. So, he slept with the interns. Lots of them. Stacy, Tina, Irene, Brooks, Murphy. He'd pretty much given up on meeting his soulmate. At thirty-two he had still yet to meet the girl from the photographs.

So, sleeping with the interns and having non serious , inappropriate relationships with them it is.

____

She had always been impatient. When she was six she once punched a boy because one; he was being a complete ass, and two; he was taking too long to give her the crayon. he deserves it. he was making fun of her and purposefully trying to flatten the green crayon just to annoy her. he deserved the punch.

So when she met a man who treated her like a queen, who didn't beat her down for not having parents and living in her car she felt amazing. He called her beautiful and showered her with gifts and expensive foods. she didn't really care about that though, she enjoyed when he would delicately hold her like she was a porcelain doll. When he would greet her with a deep kiss after he came home from work.

She loved him so much that she agreed to marry him after only being together for eleven months. She knew Paul wasn't her soulmate, but a man who treated her so nicely, a man who was ever do handsome, wanted her? Who treated her with such love and tenderness, so what if he wasn't her soulmate. She was twenty three years old and hadn't met him yet. And if this amazing guy wanted her and loved her as much as she loved him, than it was okay, not being with her soulmate.

She held onto that love. She held onto that love for three years. Three years of beatings, begging that the man who showed her so much love and kindness would come back and stay.

Because Paul wasn't always bad. Some days he would come home and give her that breathtaking kiss as he walked through the door. Some days he still held her like she was a little porcelain doll.

Some days he did still show her that love like he used to that first year. But those days were few and far between.

She wished she had just waited. Gotten over her impatience for something real and waited. Maybe then everything would be okay.

Maybe one day she'll meet him.

....

She was no longer Brooke. No more with Brooke Stadler or the various names she took from all the different foster homes.

Now she was Jo. Josephine. Josephine Alice Wilson. It's who she felt like.

Jo. It was a bit old-timey, sure. But she liked it, the fact that she could probably confuse people who had only seen her name and think she was a boy. She didn't want to be a man, but maybe people would be surprised to see that all this well done work was actually done by a woman.

Jo was strong. Jo was powerful. Jo was the person she had always wanted to be.

She left behind Brooke. Brooke was... she was someone else. Brooke was a survivor. But Brooke was scared. Scared of everything. But Jo?

Jo knew Paul could find her. It would be hard, very hard. And he probably wouldn't, but now she wasn't scared. Brooke would've been scared. Brooke wouldn't been scared shitless. But Jo? No, Jo was far from scared. She was excited. She was eager. Because she had a new start. She got to be whoever the hell she wanted. She could go out and drink with her friends. She could go out and drink until she probably couldn't walk. She could do whatever the hell she wanted. She could wear whatever the hell she wanted. She could talk however the hell she wanted.

Because she was Jo.

But Jo did still want the one thing Brooke wanted. To find her soulmate. Sure, by now she knew that he probably didn't exist and the whole ordeal was just plain poppycock, but she wanted to find him. She really, truly, desperately wanted to find him.

She was twenty-seven years old and had a nonexistent love life. a few random hook ups from a bar were not included.

Maybe here. Maybe in Seattle she would meet her soulmate.

____

She was on Peds today, with Alex Karev. She hadn't  ever met the man before, but she had heard more about him than she cared to. Mainly from Leah Murphy with the occasional input from Heather Brooks. From what she gathered, the easiest way to label him was a man whore. So she wasn't really the most excited to be on his service for the week.

She'd been in Seattle for a month now, starting her internship as Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. She was in love. Sure, doing scut all day and running labs wasn't much, but when she gets to observe from inside the OR? She felt like she won the freakin lottery.

The girl grabbed a trauma gown form behind her attending. "Do you mind" he snarls not even meeting her gaze as he turns around and heads to the ambulance bay.

She says she was sorry, but she doesn't think he hears her.

"Why are you following me?" she doesn't know why, but for some reason his voice gives her butterflies. She hadn't gotten a look at his face yet, but she assumed it was turned into a grimace.

"I'm your intern for the day." her voice sends tingles through him, shooting down his spine. He hadn't seen her yet, but her voice was strangely comforting.

"Hello intern you got a-" he starts, stopping as soon as he looks at her.

He feels breath get caught in his throat. no, surely he was imagining things. Right?

She feels like she can't breathe. That face. It was the same one as the one she saw on her sixteenth birthday. She remembers him. His sharp jawline and tiny bit of stubble.

And those eyes. she remember those eyes.

They held the same things as before. Loneliness, longing, exhaustion. But now, the tiny glimmer of hope she once saw was bright, not like the barely there she saw once before.

He felt everything in that moment. She was just like he remembered. Her long brown hair was swept up into a low updo, two dark strands framing her face. She had that little beauty mark by lip. And her eyes, they were truly everything. They showed him what she was feeling, surprise, disbelief, a bit of fear, hope. he knew his eyes were telling her the same thing.

They're not sure how long they're standing there in the middle of the ambulance bay, oblivious to the two other people next to them.

She wasn't sure how long it was until he broke the silence, a large crooked smile making its way onto his lips.

"Hi."

he whispers so delicately, like if he were to speak any louder the world around then would shatter.

She feels he smile widen, but now grinning from ear to ear.

"Hi."

[xchoco-mixturex]

Holy moly, choco thorws an arrival (duh) analisys?!

As always, spoilers from tenkuu shinpan arrive, up until chapter 71. Always, the japanese version, since I read it in japanese. Read with caution below. ALSO ITS VERY LONG. I apologize before hand! (and for my poor english)

Like seriously, i mean, it ,this is HUGE SPOILERS! if not spoilers from much of the plot until now.

(And before you ask, we are translating be god damn patient or we drop the project, k thanks nwn)

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Okay? okay!

I dont now how many chapters we have left but i hope im actually wrong in this one because it feels like too few has passed :c. But a climax happened ofc: Daisei is there, you know, the huge ass eye. Also, ORibe mentioned that Yuri in on her way on fusion the dimensions, i dont know if she means the OG high rise dimension with the ruined high rise dimension? OR back to the real world? I doubt it’s back to the real world, since they still need a God, and left the game on pause tecnically. As Yuri said, it was ‘their fault’. Of course, Yuri being the actual administrator knew Daisei could do ruckus since he is also trying to archieve god. 

Now, i think Daisei is doing that in that ruined world since the OG High Rise world its paused. There hasnt been more killings, and i am not sure if the god candidate needs to read the other 2 god codes. For the ones that have read at least one code are:

Yuri

Juo

Okihara

Yoshida

And the Judges duo aka Kuon and Sniper.

Of course, Yuri cannot be god since it breaks the administrator rule, Juo is dead (is he? DUUUN DUN!) Okihara was comatose the last time we saw him and the med staff was healing him, Yoshida its mentioned to be alive but MIA. (or at least mentioned, since Yuri told Rika if he sees yoshida to thank him)

That would leave our beloved Sniper being the one with that duty. And for the role he is taking in arrive, who he is a bit more predominant there, it could make sense. BUUUUT! The issue is the god damn God system. I do not quite remember if reading the other codes was necessary,since he and Kuon finished the trial and faceless-kun said “yeh go on!” Of course, the issue with that, is that turning into God needs energy, and in the OG high rise world there is none or not the enough level to turn him into that, EVEN WORST, it seems that, according for what we have been seeing here, is that the ‘Will’ and the fluctuations of that is the one that feeds the system (despair, hope, etc). And will usually manifests, in a soul. Who the heck is a soul of the main five? Kuon.

You think the god damn Sniper would literally say “oh yeh, lets get rid of her and we get all out of here”. Lets be freaking honest, that option was there long ago but he was the one, literally, HIMSELF, that told her that no matter what she wont disappear. So yes, sacrificing Kuon is out of the question. Actually, sacrificing any of his team members its our of the qustion, since he asked Rika that with Yuri’s condition as Admin, she was forced to stay there somehow, and Rika said he is staying, and so did Sniper. So yes, leaving someone behind its ALSO out of the question Now, with the appearance of Daisei, who....Wanted to be like Kuon in that ethereal form since, according to him, it gives him a sort of inmortality, also wants to be god. And apparently, after he killed himself but had the will to ‘keep on living’, he realized he could be god. Now, I dont quite know HOW Ruined High rise world came to happen, but somehow Daisei arrived there. According with that he started a new killing game, a killing game the OG gang wanted to end FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL. Of course Daisei did not wanted them to interfere, so he created a sort of barrier that doesn't let the old members of the game enter. Therefore, neither Yuri and co could chase him down with the manipulating the barrier powers. That’s UNTIL...Kuon came with an idea. Apparently for what Sniper told Juorika and co, Kuon, Yuri, And Hayami Shintaro created the cloud mechanism (the ones with Clouds with a WILL aka, clouds with souls). Since Yuri seems to be human and in a frontier, and I am guessing its to keep the plan going, she sent the other main 4 to blend to that place: Rika, Nise, Sniper, And Kuon. Each of them linked to an object with their souls within, and not necessarily a weapon.  How each person got linked to their cloud its ANOTHER THEME, specially with the new character seen: Senya’s alien. The alien seems to be related to the creation of the system, not giving exactly who he is, but he having some authority over the strings of destiny, since he saw senya being a ‘main protaginist’ and, therefore, thats the reason he linked Senya with Sniper’s rifle, and therefore, Sniper! Who is the alien and what exactly is his role, i do not know quite yet. I just know the systems apparently were created with humanity’s will, the issue is how? and why? was a group of persons will? Since it seemed to be related to the archival of god status,  keeping people away of feelings, actually turning them emotionless, and being the strongest. Was it high class ppl? governments?  we dont know yet. Now back to the actual pot, Daisei has showed up, and his abilities with his second stage masks he seems to create using old memories. Some data recollected from the old world, not necessarily being ppl of that world that are alive right now, but also dead people since he brought Maid mask back.   Also it seems people are and at the same time are not related to their original power. If they have an original power beforehand, its good, but Daisei can also provide them more power of needed, specially if they are second stage soldiers. For example, Rika and Kuon are one of the strongest characters of the manga, Rika being an Apostle and not having  a god code in his system, yet still paired with the strength of a god, and Kuon, right now, its awfully OP, being able to bring ppl back to like and/or healing him. But their clones, Juo(rika) and Zeon, are just first stage level, who are just created to bring up despair, and analyse about intruders, but not personally KILLING the intruders or the foreign objects. (they call object from the OG gang like that). Then again, them compared to their og versions, aren’t that strong. Are they the strongest of their category? Yes. Are they paired to their original versions? Hell no. But then we have second stage soldiers that are naturally strong (Mayuko and Archeangel aka Nise and great angels clones...Oh and X, who is Miiko’s clone). And Second stage ones that aren’t naturally strong, like Maid mask, who was just paired up in strength to a strong angel, but nothing else, and now its paired up to people like Oribe who has Rika as her cloud (then again, a strong cloud,b ut his power is reduced due noodle form),and Asuka, who has Great Angel’s rod. What will happen now? Well, many stuff. First of all I don’t want it to end yet, but here are my takes: Well, we know Senya is coming back after talking with his alien friend (?, so he may get Oribe out of that issue when she is being strangled. The world merging may happen sooner as expected. That could mean, maybe, just maybe, the physical interference of the OG gang, no longer as noodles, since their presence its related to how the barrier (that its in a constant purge between Yuri and Daisei) its weakened or not.  I wonder if Daisei might flee with that, give a fight, or send a stronger clone. Hmmm... On the other hand, if the gang presence its stronger now, either be cloud is stronger or them just yeeting themselves there, that means MORE INTERACTIONS! (andsniperdad--). I hope we see other ones besides the main five, while i love the main five, i also like the other characters a lot, also lets have in mind Shika needs to see Hayami. Another thing, yes, during this whole ordeal, the Judges were investigating about Daisei, and while they aren’t sure if they can replicate bodies like he does (Iiiishhhh...) well they know, or at least Kuon knows, how to regenerate/resurrect people, but that takes a lot of energy and the hurt/dying person to have a will to keep on living, and honestly, I am surprised she hasn’t fainted yet--! Would the dimension merging somehow return her body back? Eh, its free to dream. What i know its that if the dimensions are united, that means Yuri could travel from A to B and, therefore, meet Nise again! And the crew of course! (well, after she rests because that whole things takes a lot of energy.) I rather not have my hopes up because Tenkuu shinpan Arrive aint as merciful as the prequel. Because honestly, it made me cry like at least 8 times. And Miura is not afraid to hit us in the feels, either be good or bad. What shall Daisei do? Oribe will be okay? What about the Mayu-Mayu gang with Juo(rika) and Zeon vs Archangel?! Rika will do something as a cloud? Shika will shoot? How long will Kuon endure in Nanami’s body?! WHERE IS THE SNIPER NOODLE?! And most importantly, if we have seen clones about almost all the main gang, and even some extras...Does that mean we shall face a Sniper clone soon?! (I fanon-wise call him Deva)  And how will his personality be? Because we have seen all clones are lacking on most of emotions (unlesstheyaredefective) Because if he is like how me and my tumblr bestie have been theorizing...This will be bad. Thank you for reading my huge analysis! Take care!

[inkybunny]

MIDORIYA AND A S/O WHO WAS AN ASSASSIN

Midorya was almost finished with school when he met you. He was growing so fast in popularity, the biggest candidate to be the next number 1, of course, that worried villains and paying villains are always welcome to the people who own you. You were the deadliest assassin they had, fast, precise and silent with no fear of death, you were giving all his information. It was a simple plan, luring him with a robbery, attracting him to a specific location without letting he see you and finishing the job, but, of course, killing him proved to be way harder than that.

    It was a surprise when you attacked and he was fast enough to dodge it, you knew he was fast but not enough to dodge an attack he didn't know where or if was coming at all, now, in combat, if he called for anyone it would be mission failed automatically so you needed to finish that quick. Thing is, you weren't made for long battles, you were made for single deadly strikes so the strength difference between you two became obvious quickly.

Deku didn't like the vibe you gave him, not only because you didn't use your quirk at all in the battle so he was always worried about what type of quirk it was, not only because he’s 100% sure he broke one of your ribs while releasing too much power onto you and you didn't even flinch before attacking again, not only because he didn't notice you at all at first and while he was going easy on you to try analyze the situation you almost cut his throat, not only because you didnt talk or react to any of his words. Above all, he hated your eyes, by your appearance you were almost the same age as him, maybe even younger, but your eyes had no life in them, they were… empty. 

    In a blow he managed to destroy your mask and apprehend you, bending some pipes to serve as handcuffs for your arms and legs, a bit overkill, yes, but it was what he had at that moment. He knew he should just call the police and be done with it but, looking at you, since he destroyed your mask he was able to see how innocent and pretty you looked, even with the obvious signs of bad fights, you looked so normal and cute and yet, it felt like you never felt anything, anything at all, not even anger or sadness, you looked so empty and that bothered him so so much.  

    He sitted on your side and tried his best to sound as gentle and kind as possible while talking to you, “What's your name?”, “How old are you?”, “Why do you do this?” he asked as he looked into your eyes with this sad worried look, something you never dealt before, something that filled you with rage. How DARE him treat you with PITY? WHO HE THINKS HE IS? WHO HE THINKS YOU ARE?

    He watched as he notice you were not happy, thinking it would be a nice topic he tries.

“What's your quirk?” 

    You look at him. “Great, at least that got her attention” 

“I figure, since you didn't do nothing special during the fight it was either something to boost your physical abilities or something more mental, like strategic wise, but it could be something other than that and you simply did not got the chance to use it or needed something specific to use, tho I find that quite unlikable since you seemed pretty well prepared to kill me so it would be very out of character to not bring an specific thing you needed to use your quirk” 

You kept looking at him, confused. “He didn't notice?”

  “So… What is it?“ He asked you, with some excitement in his eyes. “She doesn't seem unpleased, just confused, maybe that I was capable of noticing that much?” 

    You scoffed.

“I dont have one.”

“What?��� Midorya got a little bit frustrated. “She's lying to me? Probably, but....”

“I don't have a quirk” You looked deep into his eyes, not a single trait of lying on your voice. “I’m quirkless” You said, getting your eyes off him again, looking at the ground.

    A little bit of silence filled your space as Deku was thinking about what you just told him.

“You’re amazing” You looked at him again. “You were able to fight me that well while being quirkless? That's impressive”

It's not like you never heard that before, your owners would often call your victories impressive, but never sounded that… sincere. You looked at the green haired boy as he felt more and more puzzling. “I’m Midorya Izuku, but you can call me Deku if you like” He smiled at you. “What's your name?” 

“I don't have a name, my owners call me 7B”

“Your...Owners?” You nod.

    You could not help but feel extremely comfortable next to that boy, like you could trust him, that he would not take advantage of you, which was super weird, since you just tried to kill him. Midoriya on the other hand, felt his heart grew tight as he felt you had dealt with way too many horrible things.

“Don't move?” You nod as the boy bended the pipes restraining your arms and legs, making you free again.

You got up, killing him was a no chance now, even if you tried to catch him while he was distracted you knew it wouldn't work, you are way too tired and your pain and difficulty to walk straight was an indicative your ribs were definitely broken. You were considering your particular killer alternatives while going away when you felt your arm being grabbed.

“Where are you going?” Silence. “You’re going back?”

“No, they would never take me back with a failed mission, I’m the quirkless assassin, they consider me disposable and less capable than the others, my perfect score was able to keep me alive until now but that's out the window.” - “Others?” Midorya thought with himself.

“Come with me!” You looked at him, confused. “Look, I can help you, Aizawa-sensei can help keep you safe and you can help us find those who did this to you, we can hunt them down and-”

“No”

    No? What? Why? Weren't you unhappy with that life? Didn’t you want to stop murdering people?  Midorya asked himself as he looked at your serious expression, crying for answers.

“You wouldnt understand it” You release yourself from his grip.

“I… I can't understand it if you don't tell me! They are your parents? That's who you call owners? I know it's hard to betray them but…” He stared at your back as you walked away unfazed.

    Parents. Tho is quite unlikely you came into this world with no mom or dad, even tho sometimes you think god created you from nothing to pay for the sins of your past life, your owners weren't your parents, you never had the luxury of meeting them, you don't really know if they are alive or not, not that you have any energy to desire the answer for that. No, all your memories are from inside your owners training, all your memories are being trained within those grey walls and only being out to kill.

“Do you want to live like that forever?” Deku’s voice echoed in your mind, making you angry again.

“Do you think I want to live at all?” You went back to staring at his eyes. “You can't understand it, this is all I am, I’m an useless, quirkless person but being able to force myself at maximum, training harder than anyone else, that made me be here today. How many people do you think I killed? There’s no going back ‘cause there is no back to go to, this, a murderer, is all you’ll have from me.” You felt warm tears coming from your eyes, huh, you can't remember the last time you cried. “Actually, not even that, I couldn't kill my target so, even at the only thing I ever was, I failed. You think you can fix everything with your hero bullshit? I got news for you, some things were made to be awful and there’s no fixing.”

“Do you want to bet?” 

You looked at him, his face was completely serious, bet? Bet what?

“Stay with me for a month, I can make it so you are not suspicious at all, no one will make questions.” He slowly got close to you. “ If, for this entire month, you can't find a single thing you appreciate, if living a normal life, helping people with me, can't make you feel even a little bit of happiness…” 

    Midoriya looked into your eyes with nothing other than honesty in his words. He wiped your tears with his fingers as he looked even more determined.

“I’ll let you kill me!”

“What?” You were so confused, he was saying he would give his life up? For nothing?

“You can't go back to your owners with a failed mission, right? Stay with me for a month, if I can't make you appreciate life then you can go back with the mission completed, say that I captured you to take information but you were able to escape and finish the job.”

    This boy is insane, he has to be, giving his life up for someone he just met? Or he was just so confident in his plan? Maybe he was planning on betraying you and giving you up for the cops, all those questions pop off in your head, in all the ways you could look at this it was weird and completely crazy, insane! And yet, when he standed his hand to you, to firm the agreement, there was a small part of you who wanted to accept it, a small part indeed but so so loud, you felt like the will to accept it echoed through your body as your heart skipped a bit when you looked into Midoriya's eyes and shook his hand. “Deal” you thought.

    Midorya’s smile was the prettiest thing you ever saw.

“Well, since we’re doing this, you're gonna need a name, right? It would be weird for me to call you ‘7B’” You silently looked at him, you never thought of a name for yourself before. “No ideas huh? I could have imagine” He laughed.

“What about...Shizu? You know, as in silent? Since, well your very quiet and all” The boy kept feeling a little embarrassed, he never named a person  before. “No? Thats stupid?”

    The first time in a long long time, you felt yourself smile.

“Shizu is good.”

    Midorya kept every single promise he made you, he took you to so many places, to do so many different things, you read stories for children and went with him seeing the flowers blooming, not even a week in and he won the bet. Your heart was so heavy when you told everyone the truth, way more with the friends Izuku presented to you than to Aizawa-sensei or the cops, when you helped with crashing the Assassins organization. Being completely sincere with yourself you felt happier when everyone from class 1-A accepted you even as an assassin and continued to be your friends like nothing changed than when the judge decided you were not responsible for the things you did while in the organization. 

You still remember the rush of multiple feelings you felt when the widow of one of your victims went to talk to you, as she petted your head kindly and looked at you with those very very sad eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything you had to go through” She smiled. “It's okay, it wasn't your fault, I forgive you.”

    The agonizing feeling on your throat as you fell on your knees and screamed and cried “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry” those words felt like they were trapped for so long.

    You were the one to suggest yourself as a “hero” to the police, not exactly it but that's what they call you. Your skills were very appreciated in the police force and mainly used to serve as a scout or in missions who required fast and silent work, you were technically a hero but, without a quirk, you kept doing those kinda jobs and maintaining yourself low on the hero chart. Not like you didnt like it, in fact, you were quite satisfied with things exactly like that.

       After a year or so, as Midorya were already competing into the top 3, he confessed to you, he never went away and always supported you, even when you were in your “I’m a murderer, a garbage human who dont deserve any of this” moments, he never left your side and always made sure you felt welcomed and cared for, his feelings for you developed steadily for that year and you were completely in love with him as well.

       He was the hand that helped you out of that hell, that showed you kindness and care, nothing more than natural, you fell for him considerably quickly. He was so happy when you said you loved him back and he show you off constantly, to him, getting you off that life was the best thing he ever done, as a hero or not, he can only wish for you the happiest times and he will try his dam best to make you the happiest person on earth, cause, to him, that's what you deserve. 

__________________________

BONUS: “Ah! Shizu, there you are.” Your boyfriend waved at you with the picnic caddy on his hand.

“I thought this was going to be a good spot for the flower blooming.” 

Izuku smiled and seated next to you, starting to open the caddy and put the food on the towel.

“You say that but this is the spot you choose every year!” You laughed, it was indeed, it was the spot Izuku brought you to see the flowers blooming the first time you met.

“You know” Izuku said as he finished with the food and gave you a little kiss on the cheek, he was trying his best but casual mouth kisses were a bit far for him yet. “I was thinking, we gave you a name but isn't it a little bit annoying having to deal with paperwork without having a last name? We should get you one.” 

You looked at him lovely and gave back that cheek kiss making him go a little bit red and smiled.

“I have one in mind, just, not the time yet.”

The green haired man looked at you saying “Hmmm” curious about what type of name you picked. He got two sandwiches and handed you one, your favorite, as usual, you giggle a bit and looked at the trees while taking a bite of the sandwich.

While you looked at the petals falling from not finding a space on the overcrowded trees, you felt happiness and peace. You beg the universe to let you be greedy this one more time, to be able to desire one little thing, you beg the universe as you mouthed the words taking care to not let your boyfriend read your lips, you beg the universe to grant you this one last thing and let you be named

“Shizu Midoriya” __________________________ HEY! Soooo this was fun :3 This is part of a small request I received but I had so many ideas to it I cound not help myself to write and oneshot about it Hope you guys liked it! Gonna post the request soon, dont worry

[drkcnry67]

we’re related and I Don’t Care

title: We’re Related and I Don’t Care

pairing: Jared x reader

fluff: roommates (bro/sis)

kink: virginity

tags:  INCEST, VAGINAL PENETRATION, LIVING TOGETHER AND REALIZING YOU HAVE FEELINGS BUILT UP FOR EACHOTHER, HARD COCK IN TIGHT PUSSY, brother boner for his sister, shower sex... DO NOT READ THIS WILL GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES!!!

rating: 18+

mentioning @spnfluffbingo​   @spnkinkbingo​   @sweetness47​

fluff    kink 

before i get ahead of myself here, let me just put this here, i was 100% in control of my actions when the following events took place. 

twas the week after highschool graduation, i was all set to move into an apartment of my own. it was a wonderful idea, i was so excited. but then the day before my big move was supposed to take place my parents and my brother got into a huge argument. 

he approached me about moving into the apartment with me, okay that wasnt a issue, my brother was successful like me and we were both now packed and prepared for our early day start the next day. 

me and my brother always had the best relationship. it was a bond like no other, he was my guardian while i would go on shopping sprees and i was his while he was with his friends in a club setting. 

our chemistry was about to take a very very wide turn... but we at that time didnt know that. the day of the big move, well i helped my brother for the most part load our shit on the truck, but he insisted on him and his friends doing this themselves.

who was i to complain, anyway it was complete in 5 hours, it was all in the apartment and then we realized that we would need to purchase some more furniture, not a problem. it would be a easy fix, so we sat down on the floor and set up the laptop to TV hdmi.

Jared: alright sis, what kind of furniture are we getting?

You then gesture down to the table before you where the list of furniture sits before you and your brother.

Yn: well dear brother as you can see before you, I made a list, but because this is our place we both have equal say in the furniture design.

Jared: may I pick the first piece of furniture?

Yn: of course... Let me just go and take another measurement real quick...

You got up and left the room, your brother picked out the sofa and love seat, in a pattern that he figured you would approve of.

He was browsing the blanket sets when you re-entered the room.

Yn: alright so what do we have so far in the cart...

Jared: the sofa and love seat. I was just browsing through the blanket sets... We should have a few extras for when we do laundry...

you were scouring the blanket sets and decided your brother was right. you were now putting one of each set in the cart, you then passed the reigns to your brother so he can pick out the bed frames, one for you, one for him.

then some pots, pans, kitchen stuff, and bathroom stuff. then you both agreed that would be sufficient to get you both started so you went through the checkout and waited.

YN: so we should also order another tv so we can both play games together. its gonna be easier that way.

Jared sighed he knew you were right he just hated to admit it... deep down inside he was holding in his feelings, he had a huge boner for you, he always had, but now living with you now he might actually have his shot at having the life he always wanted with you.

Jared: your right, which is why i had placed that order last night... they will be delivered around the same time as the furniture. its a good thing we think alot alike.

YN: guess thats the bond we share, now what do we want for dinner.

Jared: well we clearly dont have any groceries yet... so what do we want...

You had to go with your gut... You had to use your keen sense of sibling skills and happily tell your brother what you wanted.

Yn: remember when we were growing up and after school you and I would stop for dinner on Fridays at a little restaurant down near the school and celebrate the victories and losses through the week.

Jared: do they do delivery?

Yn: how bout you call and find out while I go and find the bed sheets so we can finish setting up the beds as in put the pillows and comforters on as the rest of the stuff won't be here till tomorrow.

Jared nods his head and smiles watching as you get up and leave the room.. his mind thinking the most evil thoughts, as he mentally undresses you and pictures you beneath him screaming his name with bountiful pleasure.

Jared (to self): i need to make my move soon, cause its perfect opportunity to now that i live with her. its the perfect time. just need the right moment.

so for the next few hours Jared watched, waited, and sat with you in the living room, dinner arrived you guys ate and smiled.

Yn: hey bro, what time is it?

Jared looked at his watch, and smiled when his brain dinged and remembered your evening routine. for as long as he could remember you would shower every second evening. since the last time you showered was the night before last...

Jared: dont worry about anything ill clean up and finish setting up the sleeping arrangements. it will all be done by the time you get out...

YN: thank you... now ill see you when im done.

you left the room, you went into the bathroom with your speaker and phone setting up your music and leaving the door open a tad for no foggy mirrors when you got out.

jared however was waiting till about half way through your shower time before he would make his mark.

you set up the dark shower curtain and turned on the water, stripped off your clothes and it started. Jared counted the minutes by the song lengths.

Jared (to self): okay this is it time to man up and confess my feelings. i should lock the door first though.

as jared was locking the door, he could hear you talking to yourself in the shower.

YN (to self): okay girl get a grip, your extremely caliente hot brother is now living with you, as your roommate, you have only been saving yourself for like ever... i mean he probably would think it super weird and such if i like told him that i love him.

Jared came closer to the door and smiled as he took all his clothes off and snuck into the washroom, your voice melding with the music you didnt hear anything, you had no idea what was about to happen.

you were in the middle of rinsing your hair when your brother walked into the shower.

Jared: did you mean it?

this startled you, you didnt turn off the water, but instead hid behind the cover or as much of it as could be done with your hands/arms.

YN: what the hell jared...

Jared: did you mean what you said...

YN: what are you talking about...

Jared: a few moments ago, i was locking the apartment and i heard you tell yourself that you love me... was that true.

you had now dropped your hands from covering you...

YN: yes, i have been hiding that from you since 9th grade, when you gained all your hot muscles, when you and i were crowned as the 2 most likely candidates for the spring fling royalty that year. when we won i was amazed by how good your biceps felt beneath my hand... want me to say it, i love you more than a brother, i love you Jared...

Jared: i love you too. now i am gonna fuck you into the middle of next week. Yes I know you saved yourself, as did I.. I never gave up hope that you would one day say you love me more than a brother.

Yn: then take me and don't worry about being gentle I think we are way passed that now.

You and Jared were alot closer, before another word was spoken Jared pressed his lips to your own, you stood on your tippie toes to reach up as your brother's arms pulled your form closer to his own.

his hands now cupping your butt cheeks lifting you so your legs wrap round his hips/waist. you feel his hard cock under your pussy, you were not bothered by this, you felt like you should be but your brain, heart, and body told you that you were happy, that you were in the right hands.

Jared: im sliding in, scream for me baby!

you went to kiss him but the kiss was broken by your scream as his hard cock slid right into your pussy. stretching you out, waiting a bit for you to fit to him.

Jared: well i think this is gonna be a short movement cause im almost too hard to keep pounding into you here and now but i will go as hard as i can and unload into you fully.

You screamed moaned and felt the hard cock of your own brother inaide you. It was another 15 minutes before Jared unloaded into you.

Jared pulled out for 2 seconds, he then helped you wash your body and you washed his hair and body before both of you got out and dried off.

Jared: let me just go turn off all the lights then I'll join you in bed.

You walked into the bedroom and took a look at the mirror on the wall, your reflection looked different, yet somehow the same, similar to how you looked that morning.

but your brother walked in and came up behind you, wrapping his arms round your waist he smiled and so did you.

Jared: you looked very deep in thought when i walked in

YN: i was just thinking about how this might be viewed in the public eye...

Jared: and i dont give a flying shit hole fuck of a damn as to what the public eye thinks. ill be out in public and have dinner with you, and ill beat anyone who dares make a pass at my new girlfriend.

YN: promoted from sister to girlfriend in the span of 24 hours, im very lucky girl.

thats when your brother backed both you and him up to the bed and both of you fell backward and on bed.

Jared: your a lucky girl whose not leaving this bed till the doorbell rings for our furniture delivery tomorrow... now lean into me and lets enjoy our new life together.

Jared placed a kiss to your forehead as he felt your head nestle into the crook of his neck and your breathing became relaxed. he slid himself back into you and soo you both felt only peace.

~see you soon~

[thebluenebula]

Getting Ready for the Gala

Ashleigh AU Fic Masterlist

Ashleigh didn't like the thought of Galas. Big social events with lots of people she didn't know, and didn't want to, but all it takes is a simple question from Cassie to change Ash's mind on going.

First Xmas Gala

. . . . .

Babs, and Dick had to pick up there outfits for the Gala today, so Bruce, Kate, and I tagged along. After they got that sorted, we hung around the mall for a few hours before heading home. By time we got back, it was already past six.

Alfred was waiting to greet us. "Welcome back. Miss Sandsmark came by, she was asking for you, Miss Ashleigh."

"Did she say what she wanted?"

"No, but I did allow her to wait in your room. Unless she left unbeknownst to me, she should still be there."

I turned to the others. "I'm going to go see what's up."

"Come down in a couple minutes, we'll have some ice cream." Bruce shouted after me as I ran up the stairs.

I got to my room, and Cassie was sitting on the bed, looking through one of my sketch book. "Hey."

She looked up. "Hey. Alfred said I could wait up here. Hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

She set down the sketch pad as she got up. "They're good. You should try posting them online, or something."

"I have a Pixtagram for that."

"You do? You never mentioned it."

"Never came up."

She looked at the two bags I was holding. "Whatcha got?"

"Stuffs. I was shopping."

"Anything nice?"

"Plenty. Bab's, and Dick had to go pick up their clothes for the Gala. You should see them. They're beautiful."

"I bet. Speaking of the Gala, I was wondering if you were planning to go?"

"No, I'm not."

"Would you consider it?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come as my date?"

"Like a date, date?"

She gave me a confused look. "Yes?"

"Like a, I like you and want to go on a romantic date with you, date?"

She grabbed my shoulder, and shook me. "Yes, for the love of god, Ash."

"I just want to be sure."

"And now that you are?"

So many thoughts raced through my head in that moment. "I'd love to."

She awkwardly rubbed her neck. "I was kind of expecting you to be here earlier, so we could've talked more about this, but I've got to run right now, I have a thing with Donna."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"My bad, I should have called before I came over, but maybe we can talk later, over call?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

Cassie rushed out of the room. "Thank you. Talk to you later."

I took a moment to get my thoughts together, before heading down to the kitchen. I hadn't planned to go to the Gala, but I guess now I had to.

Bruce, Kate, Dick, and Babs sat at the table eating ice cream. Bruce looked up from his treat. "Does Cassie not want any?"

"No, she left. Had something with Donna."

"Oh, what'd she come around for?"

Kate smacked the back of his head. "Stop being nosey."

"Ow!"

Bruce went to smack Kate, but she grabbed his hand. "Dont even fucking think about it."

I smiled at the two. Sometimes it was hard to believe they weren't siblings.

"Do not make me come in there!" Alfred shouted from the adjacent room.

Their hands quickly shot to their sides. Dick handed me a bowl of ice cream. "If you wait any longer, you'll need a straw."

"Thanks." I leaned against the counter. My mind was racing. I'd never been on a date. I definitely could use some advice, but who to ask? Dicks got the most experience, Babs has common sense, Kate is easy to talk to, and Bruce, well I don't think he's been on a proper date with anyone that's not a villian in quite a while, but it'd be nice to ask him.

"Ashleigh? Ashleigh!"

Something bounced off my forehead, snapping me back to reality. "Huh?"

Kate was staring at me. "You alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Cause I had to bounce a napkin off your head to get your attention."

I looked at the crumpled up napkin on the floor. "I was just thinking."

"About?"

When in doubt, pick every option. "Cassie just asked me on a date, to the Gala."

Dick jumped up excitedly. "Really?"

Babs grabbed his hand. "Calm down, Romeo."

Bruce got up, and leaned against the counter beside me. "What did you say?"

"Oh, I said yes."

He lay a hand on my shoulder. "I guess you're going to the Gala after all."

"Guess so."

"You okay?"

"I've never actually been on a date."

"Don't worry, between everyone in this house, we have plenty of experience."

Cassie and I talked later that day, as we said we would. We confirmed our plans for the Gala, then we talked about feelings. More her then me. I'd never really talked feelings to Cassie much. I never felt the need to.

She told me how she'd thought I was cute the first day we met, how over the next six months she'd formed a crush on me. With some encouragement from Donna, and Artemis, she decided to ask me to the Gala.

Of course I thought she was cute as well, and sure, I'd thought about asking her out, but I never intended to act on those thoughts. I figured a couple of weeks, and they'd pass, but she asked me, and I said yes.

The next week was full of preparing. Babs had agreed to show me how to dance, and Dick wanted to help me with an outfit.

So the next day, I found myself standing in the middle of the ballroom. It was still crazy to me, to be living in a house with it's own ball room.

Babs entered, followed by Cass, Steph, and Dick. "So you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Cass will be your dance partner."

"Why Cass?" Not that I had a problem with Cass, but I had expected one of the others.

"Because no matter how badly you mess up, you won't knock her off her feet."

"This is why your the smart one."

Steph scoffed. "Tim's the smart one."

"But Bab's has brains, and common sense."

"Yeah, that's fair."

I gestured to Steph, and Dick. "And why they here?"

"They wanted to watch, plus they're want to sort out your outfit after we're done."

"Alright."

"Okay. Cass will lead first. Just do as she does."

Cass took my left hand and draped it over her shoulder, then placed her right hand on my side. She took my free hand in hers. "Ready?"

"Don't blame me if I trip over your feet."

"Scuff my shoes, and you will live in constant fear of my vengeance."

I nervously giggled. "That's a joke, right?"

She smirked, and took a step to the left and I followed. Then another. "Now right." Two steps to the right.

We repeated these steps over, and over again. I watched our feet as we moved from left to right. It was simple, but I did have a serious case of two left feet.

Babs coughed. "Eyes up, Ash."

I quickly looked over to her. "I was watching our feet, I swear."

"I know that, your hand would already be broken if you hadn't been, but keep eye contact. Focus on her."

I nodded, and looked to Cass. "How am I doing?'

She had a reassuring smile on my face. "Great."

We kept at it for a while, slowly adding more, and more on. After a while, Babs decided we were finished for the day.

Dick, and Steph quickly took this opportunity to drag me away to my room to sort out an outfit. Dick, and Steph sat down on the bed. The two already had their outfits sorted, so they insisted on helping me.

Dick clapped. "Let's get started. If we want something made in time for the Gala you're gonna have to decide on it soon. So whatcha thinking?"

"Made? Can't I just buy something?"

"You could, but getting one made just adds a bit more you to it."

"But thats so ex-"

"Don't say it."

"That's so impractical."

Steph smiled. "Practicals boring anyway."

Dick nodded in agreement. "So come on Ash, if you could have any dress in the world made for you, what would it look like."

I thought for a moment. "It'd be blue, maybe."

Steph leaned forward. "Is that it? You don't have anything... more specific in mind."

"Well I have loads of ideas, but most them don't really work together."

"Just start shooting 'em out."

"Hold on." I opened a folder on my phone, and handed it to Dick. It was full of my ideas for outfits. It had pictures of dresses, and sketches I'd done. "These are some of the ideas I've had."

Dick quickly scrolled through the pictures before handing it to Steph. "Ash, how long have you been thinking about getting a dress?"

"A while."

"I can tell."

Steph set down the phone. "Lots of  potential candidates here, but you'll have to pick a favourite."

I sat beside her. "So what do I choose?"

"That's your decision."

"Steph, you know I hate functioning as an independent human."

"If I'm making all the decisions, I'm the one going on the date."

"I can't tell if you're serious or not."

Her eyes narrowed. "Try me."

Dick grabbed her shoulder. "You agreed you weren't going to steal anyone elses date."

"Wait!" I was flabbergasted. "You actually stole someone's date?"

"They said I was bluffing."

"Who?"

"Harper."

"She must have been so pissed."

"I think she was actually more impressed then pissed. You should ask her to tell you about it sometime."

"Yeah, I will."

We began weeding through the ideas. A little while later, and we were left with three outfits.

I looked at the remaining ideas. "My brain can't decide between them."

Dick stood. "Well you don't necessarily need to pick right now. Sit on it overnight, and we can talk about it in the morning, but for now, we've got to get supper."

We got supper, and headed to bed. I didn't sleep, instead I spent hours reading articles about first dates, advice, things to avoid, etc. Morning came before sleep, so I got up. Alfred was the only one in the kitchen. I skipped the breakfast, just got a cup of coffee, and sat down.

Alfred came over. "Are you alright, Miss Ashleigh?"

I looked up from my phone. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Because if you tighten your grip on that mug anymore it may shatter."

I hadn't even realized how tight I was gripping it. "Sorry."

"Don't worry, it certainly wouldn't have been a first." He sat down beside me. "Now, do you wish to tell me what is bothering you?"

I set my phone down. "Well I was reading online about flowers for my date with Cassie, and I don't know, a lot of these articles say they're out dated."

"Believe it or not Miss Ashleigh, but its had been quite a while since I've been on a first date, but in my experience you can't go wrong with flowers."

"They're just really cliche, I don't want her to think I put no effort into this."

"Miss Sandsmark has been coming around this house for years now, and I know for certain, that no matter what you do, she'll know you put your heart, and soul into whatever you choose."

"Thank you, Alfred. Since you're clearly a Silver Fox, any advice on flowers?"

"As a matter of fact, I've been growing these rather delightful flowers in the garden that I feel Miss Sandsmark would love."

"I can't just take them Alfred, you work so hard on that garden."

He stood up. "Nonsense, it's only a few, plus it will be nice to see them serve a purpose."

I followed Alfred out into the garden. The flowers he showed me were perfect. The colours popped, and they looked amazing.

The rest of the week came, and went in what felt like an instant. I sorted out the dress with Dick, and Steph the next morning. It arrived later in the week, looking exactly like something out of my dreams. I tried it on, and it fit perfectly. It wasn't until I stepped out to show it to Dick, and Steph that I realized the problem. I was terrified. Terrified of the thought of being in public with this, of Cassie seeing me in this, but it was too late to back out now.

Every evening was spent with Babs, and Cass practicing dancing. By the end of it, I was actually okay, and, more importantly, I was enjoying it.

The night before the Gala, Carrie had insisted on stealing a handful of us away to see her new dress. Duke, Harper, and I sat on her bed facing the wall.

"Alright, turn around."

We all turned back to Carrie. She stood in front of us in a green sun dress. The colour perfectly matched the lenses of her glasses.

Duke smiled. "It's beautiful Carrie."

Harper stared at her for a moment. Tilting her head from one side to another. "It's lovely Carrie."

"But?"

Harper looked at her curiously. "But?"

"You usually have some kind of smart ass comment."

"Carrie, for once can't I just appreciate how amazing you look in a dress without making a smart comment?"

"You can't think of anything, can you?"

Harper sighed. "I've got nothing."

Carrie turned to me. "What about you, Ash, nothing to say?"

"You look gorgeous, Carrie."

"Thank you."

Duke looked over to me. "So, Ash, when are we seeing your dress?"

"When I wear it tommorow."

Harper bumped me. "Come on, Ash. Give us a sneak peek."

"You'll see it, when I wear it."

We giggled, and chatted for hours before I headed back to my room. I sat on my bed. I was knackered, but I didn't feel like sleeping. I was too... excited, or maybe it was the nerves.

A knock at the door drew my attention. Jay walked in holding a garment bag. "Hey."

I looked at her curiously. "Hi. What's that?"

He lay the bag down on the bed. "It's one of Harper's old suit. It should fit you."

"Thanks, but why?"

"You don't exactly seem... comfortable in the dress, I figured, if you need it, this can be an alternative."

"Thanks, Jay."

"Just remeber, Ash, we'll be there tomorrow. If someone so much as looks at you wrong, just tell me."

I looked at him curiously. "What would you do?"

He smile, and cracked his knuckles. "I'd make sure they'd never do it again."

I giggled. I'm sure that was just a joke, right? "Thank you, Jay."

He got up, and ruffled my hair. "Enjoy tommorow, kid."

He left me alone. I lay down, and let my thoughts run away.

. . . . .

So writing took like forever, but it was really fun, and is kinda important for some of my future ideas so I hope you enoyed.

[septiembrre]

GG Headcannons

Tagged by @sothischickshe. Thanks, boo ;-) 

Ship: Beth x Rio -- in honor of our lovebirds day for GGWEEK2020

38. What is/are their love language(s)?

Haha, this has already made its way into one of my ficlets. I am also writing love languages into my next chapter of Better Be Mine. I can’t let it go!! I don’t actually care about them as tool for my irl relationship but it’s so easily identifiable for Brio. So my headcanons here... 

Rio’s love languages: 

Rio prefers to receive love through Quality Time. 

Rio shows love through Physical Touch. 

Beth’s love languages:

Beth prefers to receive love through Words of Affirmation.

Beth shows love through Acts of Service

49. Do they have differing political opinions?

Lol, @sothischickshe I can’t believe you tagged me in this!!!! Stop reading into the underlying vibes of Beth/Rio conversations in my fics! 

So the short version of my response is: yes. 

Now the absurdly long response:

I think about Rio & Beth a lot. I think about them talking about politicized issues quite a bit and imagine them in conversation with each other, teasing their beliefs apart. I like picturing these conversations instigated by hard parenting moments, things in the news, and things that come up as they finally start saying more words to each other. I think Rio could also just directly ask Beth about her political beliefs (I can’t necessarily picture the reverse yet).  

I think Beth is definitely more conservative than Rio -- and that’s an assumption I make because Rio’s a Latinx guy who probably came up with lack of access to wealth, and Beth as a white woman in the suburbs who formerly perceived herself/her family as wealthy. 

Beth’s characterization is complicated -- sometimes it really leans into Karen stereotypes/white woman privilege (lol, I cannot believe they literally had her show up at Gil’s workplace. I CRINGE!) and other times her beliefs and actions positively surprise me. Personally, in my fic writing, I love leaning into an idea that Beth grew up more working class/experienced neglect from her parents. I don’t want to romanticize these experiences but trauma around financial insecurity & complicated family relationships personally resonates with me. Ugh, I love writing about it, and it’s something that I read in her childhood that I like to lean into. That flashback in Season 2 really humanized Beth for me and it really made me love her. 

Okay, that was a major digression about class, but her life experience must lend itself to her political beliefs. She married into a wealthier family -- a family that owned it’s own business, was financially stable and just... a family perpetuating all the harmful effects of white heterosexuality and problematic gendered labor. And she conformed to it! Beth diminished herself to make herself fit there, to find safety and stability, to feel worth. So, I think her politics as an adult are also “safe” and probably echo the popular moderate trends in normative, toxic parent groups. Honestly, irl as a queer WOC who is anti-capitalist and been forced to be political for my own self-preservation and preservation of folks I love, I would not seek out PTA Beth’s friendship for multiple reasons, but I still have such a soft spot for Beth as a character?

That being said, Beth in the context of Annie & Ruby is obviously a different Beth. She loosens up in these spaces, she speaks her mind much more freely and in these scenes she comes as a normal, relatable human and she’s funny and prim and awkward. I think she comes across as somewhat liberal but not particularly educated on the issues/progressive (as is the way most characters are characterized on network TV). In this vein, she throws around a lot of white privilege and because some of it has gone un-interrogated in the context of the show... I’m not sure how intentional these vibes are or if it’s just par the course of it being white-owned network TV. Obviously characters are allowed to make mistakes and do shitty things, but I wish there was more on-screen acknowledgement of race in the show, and more intentional naming of things. In regards to Ruby + Beth in particular, I feel like an American white woman can’t have a life-long/multi-decade friendship with a Black woman and not be intentional about acknowledging racism/the specific misogynoir that Black women face. But the show hasn’t really acknowledged this aspect of Ruby + Beth’s friendship... 

*stares at the camera like I’m on The Office* 

It would be such a rich opportunity to discuss the challenges of interracial friendship if done well. Also, what an opportunity to delve into what it’s like to maintain friendships across the years (um, it’s hard!!! Even with people you love so much! Tell us more about Beth & Ruby’s ups and downs!). Beth and Ruby care about each other so much. When they and Annie get friendship beats -- I cry! Just make it make more sense! If the show filled in these blanks, it would be so great. Beth is obviously awakening~ definitely so in regards to her gender and her power and it could shift her political opinions? The show definitely poked a little fun at her crime “wokeness” by having her push back on cultural appropriation with those other PTA parents. Just by the exposure of her own relationships, Beth has experience with the lack of American safety net, our terrible, impoverishing health-care system, and inaccessibility of higher education. 

So, on one hand the show tries to do a thing where they equalize and don’t name race in the context of the three leads, “they’re three women”, but then they play on racial tropes with Beth and Rio’s relationship... I would like for their interracial relationship to be more overtly discussed/acknowledged outside of Rio’s somewhat performative call outs of Beth’s white lady fragility. 

So anyway -- Rio’s politics. We don’t know a ton about Rio so we don’t have too much textual evidence to go off of. But, we do know that Rio picks at Beth’s facade of white women fragility all the time -- sometimes with more hostility and other times simply teasing. When I write him, I give him my own experiences of having to become well-versed discussing politicized issues by the default of growing up experiencing racism and xenophobia. Rio, like any Mexican-reading man, has probably been told to “go back to his country” throughout his life -- and I can’t imagine it not politicizing him... Though, conservative Latinx exist and constantly shock me with their assimilationist audacity. *stares at the camera like I’m on the office again* But, idk, it’s something about their characterization of him of being so worldly~~ I imagine him being informed and up-to-date on the American news. I want him throwing around his power and $$$ by donating to local, progressive candidates of color. But, this is all projection~ :-) 

Ha, I feel like this was too critical of my forever otp (and on ship day to boot)!! And of Beth. The show has a habit of putting Beth through the physical and psychological wringer, and what I want instead is for our baby to be out of harm’s way, financially stable, divorced and independent, and also forced to interrogate the more harmful ways she deploys her whiteness. Lol, no one would watch my show. I know. 

I love Beth & Rio. They thrill me. And like many others in the fandom,  I often want to remove them from the GG canon and make them have harder/real/necessary conversations -- and generally converse about anything/everything because they barely do that on screen. I love the drama of their scenes, but my happy place is skipping a year ahead and building headcanons about what they could look like in actual relationship with each other... and one of these daydreams is Rio pushing Beth on her politics. I’m in an interracial relationship with a white woman myself -- and one of the things I love is endlessly discussing political issues and processing and growing together, and I like transplanting that to Brio in my fic perhaps too much, and it makes them OOC in my writing at times. 

Okay!!! This got long again. Thanks for tangling with this if you’ve gotten this far. There were a lot of assertions up there and I’m happy to unpack something further (but, thats at your own risk y’know. Clearly I don’t know when to stop when it comes to writing these ridiculously long posts).

[kuratoki]

Distance 03

~If you wanted to be added to the taglist for future parts, kindly send me an ask :D~

I would like to note that future parts will have Instagram/Text messages posted as a separate post but it’s still considered in the same time frame (and will be posted in order)

Shoutout to my mutual @jenoleeaesthetic​ for giving me the idea for the first part of this chapter :) She’s so precious guys and she’s been a big help with the path of Distance :) (Also tysm for putting up with my fan girling while I look for inspo pics T=T)

There wasn’t a day Jeno didn’t regret not making things official with you sooner. What he also didn’t expect was his soon to be ex best friend to act on his feelings towards you either. Now a whole continent away with a ten hour time difference, will the two of you survive the distance and all the obstacles that come with?

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Ballerina OC x Dancer Jeno

Words: 1929

Warnings: Swearing

~Updates Ever/other day at 8AM PST~

Tag List: @mikachu-28​ @peachykrystal​ @jenoleeaesthetic​

 “What do you think you’re doing?” Yeeun whispered, grabbing Tzuyus arm and pulled her away from the door, “You know it’s rude to eavesdrop.” 

“It’s not my fault the door was open.” Tzuyu argued, she didn’t get why Yeeun was so annoyed with her lately, “I just wanted to get to know him better.” 

“Maybe if you stopped trying to flirt with him everytime he came to hang out he’d open up more.” Yeeun said and sighed, “We told you that he was off limits.”

“But you also said that they weren’t official.” Tzuyu said with a smile, “I still think I can change his mind.” 

Yeeun felt bad for Tzuyu because up until recently, she was in her position. She had entered SMAA around the same time the others had. The moment she saw Jeno dance at his first NCT showcase, she was interested. She would observe him during their shared classes and noticed how cold he was to everyone but his inner circle which only consisted of Jaemin at the time. 

Eventually, she tried talking to him and the way he treated her was the exact same way he was treating Tzuyu. She had overheard him telling Jaemin one day that if he won Nationals he would let go and finally be at peace. She didn’t know what he was talking about at the time but only knew now that he was referring to his feelings for you. After he won, she was set to make her move but then you showed up and it was as if Jeno was a different person. 

She tried so hard to hate you but she couldn’t. You were so nice to her all the time even though Jeno still acted cold and eventually she found solace in her first love Wong Yukhei and after everything thats happened, she was glad they worked things out. 

Now, she was determined to set it straight with Tzuyu to avoid any unnecessary drama within the group. Things were tense right now as is and it wasn’t worth it.

“Listen, I was in your position only months ago. It’s not worth it Tzuyu.” Yeeun started, “I thought I could change his mind too but he only ever had eyes for one person. It never changed, even after four years.” 

“Maybe you just weren’t his type.” Tzuyu said dismissively, “He seems like he needs someone who can support him.” 

“Believe me, he gets a lot of support from Y/N. That girls probably chewing him out right now for overworking himself.” Yeeun said knowing it was a topic in your last phone call, “I’m trying to tell you so you won’t get hurt. He’s not and will never see you the way he sees her. They grew up together, travelled together, they have so many memories with each other that their hearts naturally belong together. For fuck sakes, she’s all he ever talks about. He’s waiting Tzuyu, he’s waiting for the right time and when they become official, nothing and I mean NOTHING will be able to break them up.” Yeeun let out a breath, “Think carefully. Whatever your actions, there will be repercussions and it’s not a threat nor from me.” 

Looking down at her phone, she saw a text from Yukhei asking where she was. Quickly replying, she decided to make her way back to the practice room where Jeno was to see if he was done with his video call. That left Tzuyu frozen from Yeeuns rant, fist clenched as she felt anger rush inside her. Who was she to tell her that she had no chance. She would show Yeeun, she would show that she would be able to change Jeno’s mind and by the end of it, it would be Y/N who? 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, you were in your bedroom getting ready for bed. You and Renjun had accomplished a lot during the day and it was time for you to rest. You were doing your nighttime stretches, dressed in a simple tank top and shorts combo, listening to your favorite classical playlist. You took a deep breath in and slowly released as you lifted leg slightly, jumping when you felt two arms wrap around your waist.

“Gosh Jisung, make some noise next time.” you said pulling away from said person but was quickly pulled back into his arms so you were resting under his chin. You had forgotten how big the height difference was between the two of you and you heard his deep voice that he usually had when he came home from practice exhausted.

“Dance with me.” he said, resting his chin on your head, eyes closed as he lead you through the waltz, “I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you and I don’t remember the last time we had any alone time together.” 

“Well you are here for training camp.” you said, swaying with him to the music, holding his hand as he twirled you out before bringing you back in, “Is it better now that Chan’s there? I heard you’re one of the top candidates.” 

“That’s the hard part. It’s like public knowledge on how I got into training camp so I feel like I have to beat the standard. It’s so stressful sometimes because I know a lot of the kids there are judging me since my dance style is different.” he said with a small pout.

“Your dance style is what got you into training camp in the first place.” you said pulling away to look your best friend in the eyes, you could see the look of exhaustion on his face and his eye bags were so deep. You wondered when the last time he got a good night sleep was knowing he would stay late in the practice rooms to go through the routines with Chan. “Everyone here and back home believe in you.”: you ruffled his hair giggling, “I believe in you.” 

Jisung didn’t know what possessed him to do it, he could’ve blamed his exhaustion since his confidence levels went up during that time but he would later realize it wasn’t an excuse when he leaned down and claimed your lips in his, only to be pushed away a second later.

You both stood there, eyes wide.

“I-I’m so sorry Y/N.” he whispered, “I shouldn’t have…”

You didn’t know what to say, your best friend of four years, someone you considered a brother just kissed you. It was the one thing you promised wouldn’t happen and your heart suddenly filled with guilt. 

“Y/N…” Jisung whispered, he was afraid. Afraid that he just ruined your friendship. The way you pushed him away was an obvious sign.

Hearing the vulnerability in his voice made you look up at him and he could see ushed tears brimming his eyes. You weren’t mad, you knew you should have validated his feelings eons ago but you didn’t want to ruin the friendship between you or make anything awkward. But here he was worried he’d messed everything.

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you gave him a brief hug. You had to get out of there, you needed to clear your mind, you needed to rid the guilt in your heart. “I’m sorry.” you whispered and grabbed the hoodie you had stolen from Jeno before you left along with your phone and keys and ran out of your room, passed a shocked Renjun and Mia who were just coming back from a night out. 

“What the fuck just happened?” Renjun asked, seeing a frozen Jisung in your bedroom. He looked at Mia and she was quick to call Chan who was on his way over. You had just run out and it was the middle of the night, it wasn’t safe for you especially in a foreign place like this. He quickly ran out after you, chasing you down the streets as you continued to run. To run to a place you knew all too well.

Just like back home, you had your own spot in London too. It was situated not far from your apartment and you were able to see some of the best sights just from sitting on the hill alone. Looking over the lights, a part of you wished you were home. For the first time in a long time you were actually feeling home sick.

Looking down at your phone, you realized that classes were about to start back home but the guilt eating at your heart was so strong that you needed to let it out. Pressing a familiar name in your favorites, you could only hope he wasn’t in class yet.

Jeno was literally seconds from walking into class when he heard the ringtone he had reserved for you. Taking a step back, he quickly answered it.

“Hey, I’m just about to head to class right now. Can I call you back later?” he asked but froze when he heard a sob.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered over the line and he began to worry. Making eye contact with Jaemin from the door, he motioned that he wouldn’t be in class today, pointing to his phone and Jaemin raised his eyebrows but nodded his head.

“Hey are you okay?” he asked gently leaning against the lockers, class had already started so the hallways were practically empty. 

“I feel so bad..” you whispered and Jeno frowned, what were you going on about.

“What are you going on about? Where are you? Are you alone?” he asked, he was the middle of the night where you were and from the background noises, it sounded like you were outside. 

“Jisung kissed me.” you whispered and Jeno completely froze and swore he stopped breathing. 

“Jeno..?” your small voice went through the line but all he could hear was his blood pounding in his ears. He could not believe Jisung had the audacity. 

“I’m here.” he let out a breath, there was no use in overreacting right now, you had called him meaning that you wanted to tell him. It was a step. “H-how? When?” 

“About fifteen minutes ago…” you muttered, “I was getting ready for bed and he came home exhausted. He were talking, dancing and the next thing you know…” you sucked in a breath, “I am so sorry…”

“Did you push him away?” Jeno asked, clenching and unclenching his fist, but his voice remained calm. 

“Of course!” you gasped, “I feel guilty enough as is...I promised you that something like this wouldn’t happen and yet…”

“It’s not your fault…” Jeno said letting out a big breath, “I just...I need to process things for a while okay? I’m not mad at you but...I’m just frustrated with everything and then this…But it’s not you. I’m gonna go and I’ll call you again later tonight okay? Please, wherever you are get home safe. Even if you have to call Renjun or Jongin or someone...I don’t want anything happening to you.” 

“I think Renjuns right behind me..” you whispered, you had felt his presence and you could hear him yelling your name from blocks away, “Promise we’ll talk tonight?” 

“I promise, Princess.” he whispered, “Take care.” 

After ending the call, Jeno clenched his fists, instinctively punching a locker out of anger. There was no way he was going to class today. He had way too much pent up energy to even think about it. Picking up his bag, he made his way out the school doors. He had a long overdue appointment with his punching bag.

[valdotpng]

Can the Gay art bugs also help Myla?

while she definitely Could join hallownests coolest new art club/therapy group, i dont really think that her problems being solved by becoming some kind of an artist would fit her character… arc? i guess??

see, i picked the ‘quirrel gets dragged to sheo’s and becomes a landscape painter’ route for several reasons (tw for suicide mention/discussion btw!!): 

the first one being, obviously, the nailsmith - a character that has a lot of similarities with quirrel when you think about it. he also helps you on your quest throughout your big adventure– he upgrades your weapon til he forges the pure nail and so, after doing the thing that he was meant to do, wants to end his life. if we take the ‘quirrel kills himself after the blue lake scene’ theory into consideration here, you can definitely see the similarities in their… approach to fullfilling their ‘life purposes’. and imo thats exactly the kinda thing that both of these guys could bond over if quirrel is given the same opportunity to recover from this kinda mentality. if the nailsmith lived through this, then so can quirrel

the second one is related to the thing that people like to point out a lot - quirrels nail, how he always iterates the vital importance of having one, and how he symbolically abandons it by the end of his journey. this is where sheo comes in! sheo is basically a bug whose whole life used to revolve around the nail… until it didnt; he was able to find a new calling in life by abandoning his old one. ‘abandoning’ is a strong word though, cause he definitely held on to most of his knowledge and mastery of the nail, repurposed it. after all, “the wielding of a nail, the wielding of a brush… these things are not so different”. maybe quirrel could learn this lesson, too

the last one is that i just think that becoming a traveling landscape artist just… fits him?? quirrel LOVES exploring and sightseeing, so why couldnt he become passionate about trying to capture the many wonders of hallownest (and possibly other lands)? preserving those awe-inspiring places, recording those moments of discovery on a canvas. to archive them, if you will.

i hope they dont mind the tag (i’ll delete it if u do), but @wingmould added some really nice tags on my original post about the idea, and, Yeah. i wholeheartedly agree

now to myla. first and foremost, i gotta say that im one of the people desperately clinging to the hope that if you dont touch her and then get rid of the infection, she gets cured and lives happily ever after. that being said, i know that some of yall accidentally (or purposefully, out of mercy) kill her. so! heres what i got for our sweet miner girl in vals ‘theyre FINE shut up’ au:

in my understanding, the main cause of myla succumbing to the plague are two things feeding into eachother: her obsession and her loneliness. 

(presumably) like many explorers before her, myla came to hallownest with a specific goal in mind -  to get wealthy. and them mysterious, powerful crystals near the mines sure do look like a jackpot, dont they? especially when they start singing about ‘something even more valuable hidden deeper in’. that’s the reason she comes down there, the reason why she stays AND the reason why the radiance is able to invade her mind so easily. but i think that if she just had someone that could stop that obsession from consuming her, she could get saved??

like, sure, little ghost might pop in now and then to listen to her singing, but i dont think theyre really able to tell her ‘myla for the love of god stop overworking yourself and go outside’. and, from what we know, she doesnt have any friends/acquances besides the knight who could do that, either. “This is hard work, but I don’t mind. Down here, I can k-keep working without even sleeping. It’s fun!” see what i mean????? shes been down there for god knows how long, sleep deprived, probably starved, and alone, and NOBODY tells her that, hey, maybe she should, like, take care of herself? please??

so my idea is that someone actually does that and saves her. im thinking maybe sly? or cornifer?? cornifer deffo would be a better candidate since, in-canon, he could find myla while doing some exploring. and then he could take her to dirtmouth at some point, to, yknow, get some fresh air and maybe a cup of bug tea or whatever. and, after speaking with iselda, she Possibly could get hired as the new map shop keeper? since iselda is interested in going on an adventure with corny. it would be a way for myla to earn some geo and not risk her life while doing that. plus she could make some friends in dirtmouth! that way she’d be surrounded by people that wouldnt let her reach that rock bottom again, yknow?

woof, thats!! a lot of text. sorry about that! im just really passionate abt HK discussions!! anyways, it’s 5 am and im still not sleeping so i should. probably go do that sdhfuashdffus. good night

[madamsixx]

Chapter 15: New Friend Plus Silent Treatment Equals Great Company

January 10th, 1986

I had been back in LA for a week now and I settled in probably. I have been catching up with my school work, calling my mom for most of the days, and shopping like crazy. Tamara had been making plans for our trip to the UK, Milan, and Paris. Not to mention I had several interviews, magazine shoots, a premiere coming up, my TV show coming up, and a new audition for a movie. She looked like she was going crazy and I was lacking sleep. I suggested she should get another assistant instead of doing all of this back and forth stuff her self. She wanted someone she trusted but she didn't know who. I had a suggestion but I don't think she would like it.

"Well Lisa hasn't been modeling for sometime now and she's in need of a job. Can she be your assistant?" I asked with curiosity. Tamara looked at me and thought about it.

"I don't know, being an assistant means that she would have to follow my rules. This isn't a friend friend job its I'm your boss your my assistant job."

I thought about the type of person Lisa was and then I realized it wouldn't be a good idea. Lisa was free spirited and liked to do things her way. She didn't like to be bossed around and loved to party and go crazy. And she definitely was not an early riser. So never mind bad idea.

"Yeah never mind she won't be a good candidate." I frowned. "Well I do need someone it will make my life easier." She put the phone down and walked and sat down on the couch by me.

"Alright you have a photo shoot today. It's a beach shoot for Teen Vouge Magazine." She pulled her schedule out.

"I need another one of those." I pointed to the schedule.

"Serioulsy Iman start keeping your things in a safe place." She handed it to me and rolled her eyes.

I took it from her and headed to the room to get changed. "So I'm not going to be there for the shoot with you cause I have a meeting. But your going to be shooting with another model named Rachel she's really nice and she's your age as well." Tammra said.

"Ok sounds good." I came back out carrying my hand bag and putting on my sandals.

"Alright the car should be downstairs. Make me proud hun." She gave me a kiss on my forehead and I headed out the door.

I arrived at our spot for the magazine shoot. It was on a beach, and it was really beautiful. The glam team came to me right away and pulled me in to get me ready for the shoot. I looked like a million dollars. I started walking around looking for Rachel. I spotted her standing on the board walk. She was an absolute beauty, I couldn't even beleive that there could be someone that gorgeous. She waved for me to come over and so I did.

"Hi I'm Rachel....Rachel Glover." She stuck her hands out for me to shake then pulled me in for the two side cheek kiss.

"Iman Darlington." I shook her hand and returned the kisses. "It's nice to meet you."

"Like wise I love the TV series your in it's absoultley funny. And I'm a big fan. When I heard I was going to be shooting with you I was ecstatic." Wow she is pretty and sweet.

"Well I was nervous to be shooting with you. Normally I heard models don't really get along with each other." I smiled.

"Well I think we'll be alright."

"Alright ladies come and get into your positions so we can start the shoot." The photographer yelled.

We did about 10 shots with each other. It was very organic, it was like we knew each other from time. I could definitely add her to my friends list. We did one pose where we were walking beside each other, and then another were we turned and looked at the camera, and lastly the golden shot that I knew would be on the cover of Teen Vouge Magazine. Rachel sat behind me and I leaned against her and we both smiled at the camera. We were giggling like high school girls being taken to prom.

"Well thats a wrap girls, you were wonderful." The photographer yelled.

We walked back to the dressing room. We chatted about everything and anything. I could really relate to Rachel cause she was my age. She told me that she started off modeling young too and was being home schooled. She said she hated it, as I did too. But she said when she got her high school diploma that she wasn't going to go further than that. I on the other hand after high school had to go to University. My mom wanted me to at least have a Degree in something.

"So what are you doing later on today?" Rachel asked as we walked out of the change room and on to the board walk.

"Well I was going to head back to my condo and then probably go shopping. I'm a shopaholic can't help it." I giggled.

"Well when your making the money why not. Maybe later on today if your not busy we can hang out." She turned and looked at me.

"That sounds great here's my number." I pulled out a pen from my purse and wrote my number down on a peice of paper and gave it to her.

"Alright my ride is here I'll see ya." She kissed my cheek and got into her car. I waved her bye and smiled. Wow that's great I made a new friend.

"Wow I didn't know you liked girls." I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and saw Nikki. My eyes went wide, why the hell am I always running into this guy? I mean for real how on earth did he know I would be here.

"How did you get in here?" I shouted furrowing my brows.

"Money talks sweetheart." He smirked and leaned against the wall.

God can he be any more annoying. I'll have to fire that security guard who let him in cause this is absolutely ridiculous. I turned away from him shaking my head in disbelief. I stood waiting for my car ride to come. I had no interest in talking to him. After everything he has done to me he thinks I would just allow him to speak to me and act like everything is ok, well it's not. He's getting the silent treatment.

"Got any plans right now princess?" He asked.

No response.

"Mani I'm talking to you?" Nikki tilted his head to look at my face. "Why are you so pissed all the time?"

I folded my arms over my chest and stayed looking forward.

Nikki sighed. "I know I over did it when I came over to your place and made a fool of myself. And also when I called you a groupie, and when I had the girl sucking me off. I'm sorry Iman please." He pleaded.

I swallowed hard and felt like something was stuck in my throat. I needed my car ride to just come right now. I was starting to feel a certain way. And it wasn't an angry feeling.

"Iman I made mistakes and I'm sor-"

He was cut when I heard my car ride pull up. And started walking towards the car as fast as I could to get away from Nikki. He was a smooth talker and if this car didn't show up I would have given in.

"Doll please just look at me." He followed me to the car.

I walked faster without turning around to look at him. He walked faster and cut me off before I could open the door.

"Iman please talk to me." He whispered and took his index finger put it under my chin and turned my face for me to look at him. Our faces were inches away, I could feel his breath on my face. He moved my face close to his and his close to mine. I snapped out of how he was making me feel.

"I'm going home Nikki leave me alone." I Whispered and pushed him away from the car and got in. I shut the door and my driver took off leaving Nikki in the dust.

I arrived back at the condo feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Tamara wasn't home I guess she was still at her buissness meeting. I started walking towards my bedroom when I heard the phone Ring.

"Hello!"

"Hi Miss Darlington theres a Vince Neil downstairs here for you, should I let him come up?"

"Yes please thanks." I put the phone down and waited for Vince to come up.

There was a knock on the door and I ran to open it. "Hey Vince long time no see." I hugged him.

"Same here doll." He hugged back.

"Wow this place is nice a lot of antiques. I can tell your manager loves original things." Vince said walking around the condo.

"She does, she doesn't like things that everyone else has. Which I think is cool." I smiled.

This was great Vince is good people and he will be great company for me while Tamara is out.

Later on in the evening...

Tamara still wasn't back and I was alright with that because me and Vince sat on the couch eating ice cream with blankets wrapped around us and watching movies non stop. We joked with each other and laughed about the dumbest things you could possibly think of.

"So what country are you guys heading to next for the Theater of Pain tour?" I asked.

"Well were going to Europe but it's really weird. Last year Nikki all of a sudden started changing up the countries and schedules. I dunno it came out of the blue like he was trying to have us be in certain countries on certain days. He even went as far as to change up the hotel we were staying at. He's a weird dude." Vince licked his spoon.

"Yeah he is. Like today he showed up at my Teen Vouge shoot. I was shocked because I didn't tell him I was there. And to make matters worse he payed off the security guard to let him in." I said scooping another spoon of ice cream.

Vince stayed quiet for a second then furrowed his brows and looked at me. "Did you tell anyone about the shoot?" He asked.

"Nope."

"Well then I have no idea." He laughed.

"But you told Nikki about watching me walk my first runway and my birthday dinner Vince." I raised a brow.

Vince started laughing nervously. "You know what we got into an argument and it....kind of slipped out." He smiled.

"Hmm I wouldn't be surprised if other things started slipping out from your mouth." I laughed.

"So is T-bone still mad at me?" I asked.

Vince sighed and turned me to look at him. "Look Tommy gets mad but then gets over things, he's not one to hold on to grudges. If next when you see him just talk to him. Nkkki on the other hand I told you before stay as far away from him as possible." He warned.

"It's funny everyone says that to me. Tamara, my friends, my family, and even you. He must be that bad huh?" I scoffed.

"He is Mani trust me. You don't want Nikki Sixx as your problem. Cause believe me when I tell you, he's like a spider web that tangles people into it. He starts to corrupt any body who gets tangled in the spider web."

I guess what he's saying makes sense. I saw first hand how Theresa started acting when she started partying with Nikki and Robbin. Hm I wonder where she is now?

"Is it bad that I do like him? I mean he is cute and everything." I said with a low voice fidgeting with my spoon.

"Its not bad that you like him but it's bad if you act on those feelings. He's not a good guy. And you should listen to all of us who are telling you to stay far away from that shit bag Nikki Sixx." He scooped more ice and ate it.

"Well there is someone else I like." I looked up at Vince with both brows raised up.

"Oh yeah who?" He asked.

Was it to early to say anything. I felt like it was maybe I'll just keep it to myself... for now. When the time is right I will reveal.

"I can't tell you yet, in time Vince in time." I giggled and tapped the top of his head.

"Alright darling if you say so." He put his arm around me and pulled me towards him. I laid on his shoulder and it felt just right.

[ambitionsource]

I’m very curious about the interactions between riley and lucas in the back of his car in the parking lot, like what would they talk about and how would lucas behave?

ah yes. so for clarification, i assume this is in reference to me saying that rl spend a majority of their time together in the summer in the car. this is again because they don’t really have a place that they can Settle and hang out -- lucas’s place is obviously off-limits, and the matthews apartment is only viable when both maya and cory aren’t around given that neither of them are... Fond of lucas, per se. like sure, they could hang out while maya is there, but then it would just be a lot of them trying to have a conversation and maya constantly interjecting her two cents via a snort, or a gag, or a comment under her breath. and when they glare at her, she’s just like oh, i’m sorry, did y’all say something? don’t mind me, i’m just chilling (:

so yeah. best to just avoid it entirely.

the car they travel around in is riley’s, because lucas himself doesn’t actually have one. he occasionally uses grace’s when absolutely necessary (re: him going after de la minkus in 211), but he usually likes to leave her in possession of it just in case she needs to use it suddenly for any... reason. so riley’s sedan is the vehicle of choice, and this is fine because lucas is an expert at driving around other people’s cars (why do we think he was so good at joy riding? ha ha ha... ha.)

also, lucas’s license is still suspended from said joy ride. he technically shouldn’t be driving at all, so for the most part it’s riley behind the wheel for the summer. lucas still drives sometimes but thats only after they both acknowledge like okay... well, if we get pulled over for whatever reason, we might get in trouble. they acknowledge it, and then they Move On lmao.

so riley’s car is the place to be during the summer of love. they’ll go on drives, usually out into the wilderness (as taylor swift once said, let’s drive out of the city, away from the crowd...). this includes the hideout spot that dylucasher tended to frequent in S1, which i’ve always visualized as this kind of... forest-y hiking kind of area near a cliff side or waterfall or something, i dont know where this visual came from, but the point is its nature and probably via a little bit of rule-breaking, its like this hidden oasis away from the rest of the world that only the three of them (and now riley) know about. and dasher usually only go there with lucas, so its basically lucas’s spot.

that’s usually where riley and lucas end up when they just want to hang out and not be bothered, and they’ll just sit around and talk to each other about whatever -- esp early in the summer as theyre in the process of really getting to Know each other as better friends and now partners. sometimes riley will bring lunch or snacks, so they’ll munch on those too. riley plays her playlist she made for him and continues to expose him to new music, although when they drive around they will also listen / sing along to fall out boy since thats the only thing riley can get lucas to “sing.”

further into the summer as they’ve gotten more comfortable around each other, they’ll kind of switch up how they hang out. usually back in the day theyd just hang out in the front seats (especially if it was really hot out), but the more lax they get the more they spread out. sometimes they’ll ditch the car entirely and just hang out in the nature (lucas likes this, because when riley laughs in the hideaway since its so serene its like her laughter echoes all throughout the trees and the water and the nature and he’s obsessed with that). sometimes they’ll stretch out on the hood or the back of her car so they can absorb the fresh air and sunlight, when it’s not too humid and gross out.

about a month into summer, somewhere along those lines, thats when riley gets the bright idea to climb into the backseat (and yes, she climbs over the median and fumbles her way there rather than just getting out of the car and getting back in the car, because she’s a goob -- which lucas comments on). she convinces lucas to join her, and yes he has to also climb into the backseat rather than just use the door because if she’s gonna be a dork but accomplished at it, then he also be a dork! but she’s a lot smaller and nimble (albeit klutzier) than him so him trying to get back there is a big laughter-filled mess, and riley basically has to like yank him back to join her until he’s like falling all over her and they can get themselves resituated

which perhaps was her plan all along. i see you riles, i see your games. clever... scrappy and clever...

what they discover with this new setting is like, yes, its still cramped bc its a car, it wasn’t built for comfortable hanging out lmao, but it has its own charm to it. and they can actually kind of like... chill together this way and be closer together and share the space without this median between them, yet still maintain the privacy of being in the car rather than just like. out in the wild with the nature and the echoes and all that. so fumbling back into the backseat and cramping together becomes a common habit for them, although it does take some time to ease into and get comfortable with (considering how lucas is about closeness and physical touch -- everything is just a gradual process or building trust and establishing safety in that closeness which we know riles is all about). so sometimes they’ll like stretch out opposite each other and bump knees and stuff, other times they’ll cuddle up together as if they’re hanging out in riley’s room on her bed even tho they’re not and this is a car (this is usually how they are if they fall asleep).

and yes, look, i’ll be candid, it’s not like they’re not doing some Kissing in this hideout car. come on now. let’s just be realistic

so yes, that’s the magic of the summer of love and rl hanging out in riley’s car for 65% of the summer break bc they’re oppressed, but that’s okay bc they have each other and right now when they’re in such a formative phase of their relationship and are just excited to actually Be together, that’s all that matters. god bless us everyone

-- Maggie

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #186

UPDATE 186: Political Assassination

Last time John finally got that tooth off his chest, and Jake agreed to give his endorsement to Karkaroni. Now what will happen? Let’s see.

Has it been days since Jade has been sitting on that couch, levitating and with her eyes completely black? Given everything that has happened in the meantime it sure feels like it has. Roxy’s getting worried, she tried to call Rose but she didn’t respond, so instead he goes for the next option she has: Dave. Who immediately brags about working to stop Jane from screwing up everything. The words ‘neoliberal austerity measures’ are unsaid but they’re like an echo when Dave talks about the presidential campaign, I bet. He’s busy handling Jake’s endorsement speech.

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

‘one hell of a nap, davey, shes been blacked out for, like, a week’

It seems the troll candidate is more popular with the trolls and the carapacians than with the humans and consorts. How don’t they have more consort supporters? Hopefully Jake’s endorsement will change that.

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

Well that makes clear what the best course of action is: don’t open the windows nor place her anywhere in the daylight. If Dirk’s advice will help with the exorcism she needs – to get Dead Calliope out – then it’s a bad idea. I’m enjoying this epilogue much more with Dead Calliope controlling the narrative, thanks.

It’s alarming Kanaya isn’t picking up either. Could Dirk have gotten rid of her? I sure hope not! Kanaya has done nothing wrong and deserves to stay alive, what with being the professional when it’s about troll reproduction. She better still be fine and kicking!

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

They don’t do that, much to Jade’s disappointment, I bet. Either way, it’s speech time!

The struggle to take control of the narrative is a petty squabble, says Dirk, taking the high ground by offering Dead Calliope a way out. Buddy, pal, friend, you can’t take the high ground and then insinuate Calliope is ugly as sin. That is petty.

Apparently everybody thinks Dave loves Karkaroni, and although I believe that too, it’s fine if Dave never comes to terms to that. The guy marches at the beat of his own drum, he’ll be fine. This kind of thing can’t be forced on him. Speaking of things that can’t be forced, Roxy wants to know how Dave came out to everyone else as not straight. Oh dear, Roxy, I don’t think Dave ever did that. You’re asking the wrong person – unless you want the answer to be ‘deny it for like eight years now’.

He’s not really denying it right now, though. Maybe he did come out to the others and I didn’t find out until now. He’s not comfortable enough with rapping about ‘boning dudes’ in middle of a stadium where so many people can see him, but he’s not running away from the question. Way to go, Dave! I approve character growth!

Somehow Dave has this entire spiel about all the steps of admitting not being straight. On what phase are you, Dave? Inquiring minds want to know. I’d paste the entire thing here, because it’s pretty good stuff, but it’d feel like I’m applying filler for the sake of applying filler, so I won’t.

Dirk really doesn’t want a conversation about gender. Personally I have to agree because, even though this is great for development and I appreciate all of Dave’s steps, this is kind of a random place to shove this in. Pretty bad place, really. It’d have been great at a different moment.

Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts.

...uh, Dirk, you know what else is horrendously invasive? Taking over the narration and manipulating people around. Also the assimilation plan, that’s more than horrendously invasive.

Okay, this is going for long enough.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to?

the prince is laboring under the delusion that he has been the least bit subtle in his intentions. he currently stands beneath the carapacian bell tower, poised to climb to the top. he holds the long, red sniper rifle that once belonged to roxy, brandishing it openly and boldly. he seems mysteriously oblivious to the fact that holding a long rifle in broad daylight somewhat tips one to the fact that he soon intends to shoot someone from a great distance. he also seems unaware of the fact that i know perfectly well that the top of this tower has a clear, long-range view of the stadium, allowing any competent sniper a clear shot of whoever happens to be standing at the podium as they give a speech. as jake english is about to do.

he also doesn’t seem to realize i have anticipated his attempt to assassinate his own friend in order to advance his political goals, and that i am prepared to take measures which make this impossible.

It really sounds like Dirk’s getting ready to shoot, he’s up at the right place and has a view of the stadium where Jake will be, but...I don’t know, ever since Roxy said Dirk messaged her about keeping Jade in the sunlight for ‘an exorcism’ I have been feeling uneasy, and now that this all was said just now, well, I kind of suspect Dirk may try to shoot and kill Jade. It sure would free her of Dead Calliope’s control and possibly give him back the control of the narrative. It’s a possibility, no?

Somehow the next few paragraphs resembles a schoolyard roleplaying fight. ‘You can’t reach the top of the stairs because...your feet feel really heavy’ ‘really? Then I can fly’ ‘and then the bell came crashing down on you!’ ‘I cut that stupid bell with my sword!’ ‘not fair!’ ‘yes fair!’.  It’s endearing in its own way.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

no i don’t.

DIRK: Sure you do.

I’m having fun with this part, guys, I really am! This is great.

This is over when Dead Calliope, trying to stop the focus on Dirk and his increasingly petty narration, turns the attention back to Dave who must still be explaining to Roxy the intricacies of coming out to their friends. I see keeping a show in a standstill is a Strider family trait.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

That has got to be the most contrived simile Dave has said in recent history.

Dirk continues saying very clearly he’s about to shoot Jake, and the more he states that so bluntly the more I suspect there’s something else going on.

‘Xenophobe’ and related words are starting to stop looking like a real word. It just has been said so many times.

Everything is making Dave feel like something’s wrong – undoubtedly Dead Calliope’s influence – so he gets in the path of any potential bullets, protecting Jake with his own body.

and despite dave’s quick and well-justified action, what is also unbeknownst to him is that the sniper no longer poses a threat of pulling that trigger. because everyone knows that for all of the prince’s shortcomings, he would never expose his beloved brother and son to the risk of a heroic death.

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

I’m pretty willing to bet taking over Dave’s self doesn’t count as killing or hurting him, therefore it’s fair game. Dave would be pretty unhappy to know what Dirk’s doing, anyway. The narrative reveals what’s in the sniper rifle are not bullets, they’re tranquilizers. It’d be a non-fatal way of keeping someone out of the way for a while. The second thing Dead Calliope got wrong, though...

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

Well then! Turns out I may have been right about that he intends to shoot Jade. He must feel really confident about it if he can announce it aloud after aaaall the charades he did to fool Dead Calliope. Is it Jade, Dirk? Will you tranquilize Jade and pretty much put her to sleep – non-fatally?

Dirk spins in what must be the tiniest bell tower ever, given he only has to spin to change direction and be able to aim somewhere else, and gets ready to shoot. All Dead Calliope can do is freeze Dirk’s finger on the trigger, but he thought ahead and made the rifle to be voice-operated. All he has to do is say ‘fire’. Which he does! Game over for Dead Calliope?

Pretty good aim, hitting a vein from all this distance. Jade indeed has gotten tranquilized, and I’m pretty sure given this isn’t the first time Dirk uses tranquilizers – he uses them in TV – it shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to realize this is Dirk’s orangey shady hand making the moves.

The insult against Jade is uncalled for, Dirk. But yeah, the result of all this is that Dirk is once again back in control of the narrative, which makes me sigh with exasperation. I really liked Dead Calliope’s narration more than Dirk’s, so I’m not looking forward to this change.

Roxy drops to her knees by the couch, pulls the dart out of Jade’s neck, and tries to shake her awake. But it’s no use. That’s a heavy dose I gave her. Could be out for weeks. Maybe months? Can’t have any cherubs messing with my business on this planet. At least not until I’ve taken my leave. But Jade’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about that.

So...she’s pretty much in a coma. Could be worse, could be worse. She could be dead. This is barely better.

Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.

Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.

Now who’s hungry for meat?

Does that mean the candy epilogue is all Dead Calliope’s influence seeping through instead of Dirk’s? It could be interesting to see what kind of thing she does to the world. Although...given the effects of the trickster lollipop and how ‘sweetness beyond comprehension’ is perfection to them, it’s bound to be nightmarish. I’m actually looking forward to that!

Speaking of meat, holy shit. You just look more fucked up every time we come back to you, don’t you, John?

You’re a disgraceful mess right now. Covered in blood, mysteriously sticky, bruised all over your arms, legs, and neck. Terezi practically raked rows into your back. You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You’re kind of embarrassed by what a postcoital train wreck you look like when all she’s got is mussed hair. And you should be embarrassed. Seriously, it’s like you were mauled by a wild animal. Jesus, don’t either of you have any shame?

Ah. Okay then, good for them, although I’m pretty concerned. Such a physically intensive activity can’t be good for the guy with a gaping hole in the chest and the troll who still must be half-starved. I won’t be surprised if these two just pass out and die anytime soon. I’m not entirely sure, but it seems things are awkward now between these two. Maybe it was all a spur-of-the-moment move.

You sit together on the hatch, like when you first met up days ago. Terezi crawls into your arms, and nuzzles right up against your chest so you have no choice but to hold on to her. You would have done it anyway if she asked, because you’re a total sap. The kind of guy who no doubt thinks banging a girl in a car is some deep, soul-shattering experience that bonds you for life. Yeah, John, you do think that. You think that you and Terezi are basically married now.

I can’t tell if he really thinks that or if Dirk’s funneling those thoughts into him. The line between what the character feels and what Dirk wants them to feel is pretty blurry by now.

After all this, Terezi gives up on looking for Vriska, so this is a prime moment for her to fly by and find them. She doesn’t, though, and John proposes Terezi to go home with him. Can they even go home? John is so tired it’s possible they can’t – which he really should have thought about before doing said physically intensive activity. Nobody to blame but yourself, John. Seriously, you have an open wound and bled like four liters of blood. You’re as good as dead.

He feels the urge to lie down and sleep, which is a pretty bad idea given the situation. Terezi rouses him up, so instead he decides to give this a try and zap back home. Hmmmm...if he’s so tired right now, it’s possible the act of zapping home will drain whatever energy he has left, so I’m not...very optimistic about John’s chances of survival. Would this count as a heroic death? Can you die from a heroic death if you die like two weeks after the offending injury is made? If he dies from exertion after having sex with Terezi that doesn’t count as a death because having sex with Terezi is neither heroic nor just, no? Oh well.

Back in the stadium, the inexistent assassination attempt may have given Karkaroni a push in the polls, and Dirk spends quite a while brandishing Jake like a piece of meat. Really, can he be treated as more than a flat character whose only non-flat trait is his posterior? Jake’s nervous and fidgets around, so much Dave and Karkaroni show concern and offer to cancel the speech and/or the campaign. It seems our favorite presidential troll still doesn’t like the idea of having leadership, he’s ready to throw the towel anytime. Jake insists he can do it, so he starts!

I don’t remember Dirk being so outright antagonistic in Homestuck. It’s making me pretty uncomfortable, I have to admit. It feels kind of out of nowhere, just like Jane’s sudden xenophobic inclinations are. What was Hussie thinking when he wrote all this? What was his intention?

Jake’s getting pretty nervous and I can’t tell if he’s getting stage fright or if Dirk’s influencing him to be nervous. The latter is a possibility, no? Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what’s going on.

Why don’t you have a good, long think about that, Jake.

Is this really the time for a good, long think? Jake muses to himself, actually putting a finger to his chin like some public domain clip art picture of a befuddled guy. If the crowd is confused by his rapid-cycle mood changes, they don’t show it. Jake’s got a bit of a day-drinking problem, which has been slavishly documented in the global tabloids. That’s how you avoid responsibility, isn’t it, Jake? You can fool your fans, but not yourself. The truth is that there’s a canniness to the act. It’s partially cultivated. You’re stupid, but you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be.

JAKE: What in the devil was i thinking coming here?

JAKE: Why did I...?

JAKE: I came here to...

... slide the biggest knife any motherfucker ever wielded directly into your friend Jane Crocker’s back?

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. And you would have guiltlessly toyed with her “kettle drums” too had it not been for a bit of divine intervention, let’s decide to call it.

Sigh. That’s...that’s all I can do with all this. Sigh and keep reading. Third time I’m scrolling through the epilogue a tad faster than I should. It’s pretty much an entire page of gaslighting. Nothing really worth delving into, mainly because it’s pretty uncomfortable to read such a thing. Dirk’s being the abusive ex, pretty much. Nothing really worthwhile.

JAKE: I love dirk!

JAKE: IM IN *LOVE* WITH DIRK!!!

 And to love Dirk is to obey him.

You know, there are a few reasons why I’m thinking of liveblogging these epilogues. I’ll explain them later, but right now I may as well say a word of two: the epilogue is competently written. The events in it are interesting, and the interactions are raw and full of emotion. It’s all pretty unpleasant to read, which makes it a bit novel, like swallowing bitter medicine. It’s pretty good, in a technical way.

But it simply doesn’t work with Homestuck characters. It just doesn’t.

Anyway, let’s continue scrolling down to the end of the page and go to the next.

I was right in that zapping back to Earth C would take what was left of John’s energy. He barely can give three steps before he falls down, so it’s all up to Terezi now. She wants to bring John to Jane, so she can revive him. I don’t think she has revived him before, so it should be a good idea. It’d be better to bring Jane to John, though.

It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a wound you can recover from. It’s Game Over this time: no healing, no afterlife, no cosmic clock proclaiming your sacrifice as Heroic. The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Oh, nevermind, it’s something not even Jane with her life powers can fix. I wonder if, once John is erased, nobody will remember him. That’s what happens when there’s no place for you in a narrative, no? Hmmm...

John already know he’s irreversibly going to die, and tells Terezi not to waste her time, that he was dead the moment Lord English bit him. Which is true, given this poison. Then he says he was dead the moment he woke up that morning, which...I suppose is the depression talking.

You died the moment you made the decision to go meet your destiny. You would have lived if you made the other decision, under a certain definition of the word “living.” You might have even lived until the end of your immortal life span, as shitty as that sounds.

So he’d have lived for the rest of his life if he had decided to do nothing. Makes sense. This may have been for the better, given Lord English needed to be defeated, so it’s time well-spent. It’s rather unfortunate it involves John’s death, but...in a way I saw this coming. Pretty tragic outcome, and given this epilogue has been chock-filled with a lot of tragedy and pessimistic scenarios, it only made sense this would happen.

It’s dying words time! Terezi is really affected because she really cares for John, and also they had a ‘emotionally significant sexual encounter’, so she’s even willing to listen to all the sappy stuff John will say in his deathbed. This is bound to be rather emotional! And the fact he can’t even think of something appropriate to say in his final moments is what makes it emotional because this isn’t how he imagined this would go. He can’t even think of quotes from his movies. Terezi offers to tell everyone John Egbert said some cool stuff in his final moments and make everybody believe it somehow, so instead John goes straight towards the sappy and tragic. There he goes!

JOHN: i think... i really lo—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3

JOHN: i... r-really lov—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!

TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!

JOHN: but... i...

JOHN: i...

Then John dies in the middle of a love confession.

Love confession on the deathbed! It’s like this truly came from a movie, haha. Terezi is devastated, so much she can’t even bring herself to cry properly. Once she confirms he’s dead, she ponders what she should do now, alone in the world John wanted to bring her to. She doesn’t have anything else to do, so after a moment – and at Dirk’s behest – she takes John’s corpse in Dad Egbert’s wallet and starts walking.

It has been a month already. Jane won the election after what I figure was Jake’s endorsement speech for her, so that’s that. Terezi has been rather lost this whole month, and nobody has seen John Egbert – instead of saying he’s dead -- so I suppose she hasn’t told anyone he’s dead. Rose has been missing the entire time and Kanaya has been pushed around by Dirk’s machinations to keep him distracted while he keeps Rose locked away somewhere, both mentally and physically, I figure. All in all, it’s a pretty grim outlook for everybody in Homestuck. Also, Jade is still in coma. Terezi goes to visit her, perhaps to tell her what happened to John?

Dirk continues being so salty Roxy’s experimenting with her gender, apparently. Aren’t there a million other things to deal with, pal?

Roxy is very glad to see Terezi, and she takes Terezi thinking she’s Dave as a compliment. She also compliments Terezi, giving her some heartache because it makes her remember the time she spent with John. It may have been a few hours, apparently. Time works in mysterious ways up there in paradox space!

The reason Terezi is here is because she feels John would come here, and she’s right, I bet. John would want to check on Jade as much as he can, so now that she’s carrying John’s cadaver around, she feels she should handle this all herself. It’s also confirmed she hasn’t told anyone John is dead.

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out

ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home

ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

ROXY: so it was hard as hell to convince them to let me come see jade at all

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized

ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

So the end result for Calliope is that she’s traumatized. Seeing a dead version of herself possessing Jade must have really rattled her. As I said, this is all pretty grim for everyone in Homestuck, goodness. Although...part of me wonders if her current state is partly because of Dirk’s influence. He’s petty enough to mess with the living Calliope’s head as a ‘take that’ for Dead Calliope.

Someone tries to contact Terezi through her phone, she’s not sure who it’d be. Perhaps Dirk? He did show a preference to sending messages to his former friends and acquaintances. As if things weren’t awkward enough for Terezi, she’s asked if she knows what happened to John. Terezi, you can’t keep this under wraps forever. Sooner or later you have to tell everyone John died because of injuries in Lord English’s fight.

It seems Terezi can hear Dirk perfectly even when he’s talking in the narration, I suppose it’s because of her aspect. Oh, be careful with the stuff you say, Dirk! She’s also willing to whisper stuff to address Dirk, even if it gets odd looks from other people. On the other hand, this kind of leaves her more vulnerable to Dirk’s machinations, no? Part of manipulating people is responding to what they say, so with some luck this won’t go belly-up.

Once the conversation is over Roxy leaves and Dirk exposits Terezi still feels guilty about hiding John’s death from everyone, and she can’t even confide in Dave because of mistakes she did as a teenager in another timeline. It’s the curse of having the Mind aspect, isn’t it? Knowing what the choices cause. All of Dirk’s exposition bothers Terezi enough for her to tell him to scram, and he refuses to do so.

Come on, Terezi. You don’t belong here. You know you don’t belong here.

Do you feel threatened by Terezi, Dirk? Is that why you’re trying to push her away? I don’t think Terezi has anything that could be particularly useful against Dirk’s plans, so I’m not sure why he’s bothering to mess with her like this. She even points out they barely have crossed words.

Okay, I believe he feels threatened by her in some manner because he tries to convince her to join him in...some place. More like he wants her out of Earth C. He even offers to let her take John with her, which is why I’m sure he made her pick up the corpse, so he could manipulate her by using John. He finally leaves her alone with her thoughts, sure he managed to convince her enough. We’ll see.

Stopping for now!

Next time: next update

[exordiumed]

syzygy [ II ]

↳  soulmate au | inspired by this johnten au

pairing: oh sehun & you

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 3.018 words

summary: syzygy (n.): 2. a pair of connected or corresponding things

syzygy masterlist

“i’m so glad you came into my life.”

“you mean that? like really?”

“of course i do, you’re the best thing the universe had written for me.”

You weren’t really dealing with your feelings in the best way possible if you’re being honest. He has a girlfriend for Christ’s sake and here you were, pining after him like an idiot. Jongin, bless his soul, quickly became your best friend and also your emotional support throughout this entire predicament. Though sometimes it felt more like he was teasing you instead of actually helping.

Maybe the universe was punishing you for some reason? Whatever that was happening, you wanted it to end immediately. But of course, you don’t always get what you want, as you so quickly learn.

So, imagine your surprise when you walked into one of your classes to see him. Of course, your first plan of action was to find the furthest seat away from him, but, unfortunately for you, he had noticed you and beckoned you over to take a seat next to him. Reluctantly, you walked over and plastered on a smile for him when you sat down.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

He chuckled before replying, “Yeah, almost like the universe wants us to be together or something.”

If you were drinking anything while he said that, you were sure you would’ve spat it out. Does he know that he was being like this? Sending you weird mixed signals and being aware that his words held a double meaning for you? Honestly, it was getting a bit tiring trying to be normal around him when everything that he did made you want to jump him.

Thankfully, he wasn’t a distraction in class as you had feared him to be. The two of you hung out after class, walking around town and you managed to take some good shots of the skyscrapers in the city centre. And maybe you sneaked in a few candid shots of him walking around, unaware of you pointing your lens at him.

“You’re a photography major right?”

“No, I just like lugging this camera around and struggling to find inspiration for my assignments and constantly ramble on about angles and composition and symmetry all the time,” you replied sarcastically. For some reason, your reply made him laugh, a bit too hard until people were giving the both of you dirty looks, but you didn’t care. You made him laugh. You felt a bit too proud at that.

After his fit of laughter died down, he stared at you. He did that a lot, you noticed. You shifted uncomfortably underneath his gaze, it almost felt like he could see into your soul, read all of your thoughts and you didn’t like that one bit. Being so vulnerable at the hands of someone else.

“Your stare is kinda intense, you know that?” You told him.

He laughed again.

“So I’ve been told. Maybe it’s a drama major thing, you know, just dramatic like that.”

“Whatever you say.”

You came back home after hanging out with Sehun and you were happy. Exhausted, but happy. You checked your phone for notifications to find 5 text messages from Jongin:

hi ok sure ignore me thats fine actually its not pls respond u better be getting dicked down or something for u to not reply wait no u cant be he has a gf oop Read 20:22

You rolled your eyes. Leave it to him to give you an unneeded reminder of the sad reality you lived in.

» wow i completely forgot that he has a girlfriend thank u for the reminder Read 20:24

omg she’s alive!!! how did it go sis Read 20:24

» ok i guess just 2 friends hanging out Read 20:25

lAME Read 20:25

Chuckling at his response, you tossed your phone onto your sofa so you could shower, and hopefully wash away all the thoughts of Sehun left in your mind.

The next few days passed uneventfully. It was a much appreciated break from the hectic whirlwind that was your life for the past month.  Jongin’s been an absolute sweetheart of course, hearing your incessant ranting and complaining about love and Sehun and how much you wanted to simultaneously smooch him but also run him over with a tractor.

“I have an idea,” Jongin started over lunch one day.

“Oh no.”

“Shut up,” he smiled. “You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“That wasn’t a question, it was a statement. You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

You were confused, and your facial expression definitely showed it because Jongin groaned.

“You’re going to find some nice hook-up and forget about him obviously!”

You snorted. “Oh yeah, brilliant.”

“Shut up.”

You were honestly doubting his plan, but you didn’t tell him that. And, maybe he was right. Maybe a distraction could help you forget about Sehun.

Except, it didn’t work. 

One moment you were sucking some guy’s face and for some damn reason you opened your eyes to see him staring right at you. You panicked, pushed the guy off of you and ran outside, looking for Jongin so you could rant to him and hopefully calm down.   

You didn’t find him, but you did manage to calm down, nonetheless. It was beautiful outside. You relished the night breeze and admired the moon hanging in the night sky with a few stars dotted around. You lifted your phone camera to take a picture of the sky, something about those astronomical bodies calms you, strangely. Like a wave of sereneness washes over you when you admire them. You decided there was nothing left for you to do at the party, and Jongin’s plan for you to hook up with someone and forget about Sehun had failed, so you texted Jongin you were leaving early and left for home.

“Hey,” Sehun said as soon as you slipped into your seat next to him. “You left early yesterday?”

You swallowed. “Yeah, I just wasn’t feeling it y’know?”

“I see.”

He was quiet after that, and it unnerved you. Sure, he was usually quiet but something about his silence this time scared you. Still, the rest of the lecture flew by with no incident and when he got up to leave, your hand shot up to tug at his wrist. He looked at you and you immediately pulled away, as if touching him had burned you.

“Did I.. do something wrong?”

He shook his head and offered you a small smile. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it too much, okay?”

He left, and again, you were stunned. You groaned inwardly, why were boys like this? Your mental complaining was cut short when you received a text from Jongin.

lets have dinner!! Read 17:55

» sure when and where and who Read 17:55

my place!! as soon as u get here i have takeout just u n me babey Read 17:56

» hot i’ll be there in 20 Read 17:57

Jongin always knew how to cheer you up, even when he didn’t even know you needed it. Takeout and watching Netflix on his sofa together was the perfect remedy. And his dog too, you daresay you liked his dog more than him.

The moment you crossed the threshold from the front door of his apartment, Jongin engulfed you in a bear hug. You laughed and hugged him back. He was practically a ball of sunshine and you had no idea what you did to deserve this man.

Halfway through your Netflix marathon, you sneaked a photo of Jongin cutely pouting at his TV over some scene happening in whatever show you two were watching. You added it to your story and looked up from your phone to see Jongin stealing some of your noodles. You swatted his hand away and he shrieked.

“Rude!”

“Um, I think rude is you trying to steal my food mister.” Jongin stuck his tongue out at you while you resumed eating the rest of your food so there was none for him to steal.

A little while later, you were helping him throw the trash since it was the least you could do to help him out when he invited you over, Jongin called out to you.

“Did you tell Sehun you were with me or something?”

“What? No!”

“Huh. He’s asking me about you,” he replied. You furrowed your brows trying to think of how he could’ve known you were hanging out with Jongin.

“Oh! He must’ve seen my Instagram story.”

“I’m on your story and you didn’t tell me?!”

You shook your head as you dumped your trash into the rubbish bin. You wondered why Sehun would be asking him about you. He should just leave you alone, he has a girlfriend as Jongin loves to constantly remind you about. Again, you were confused. Everything about him was confusing. You wished he would just stop it, you wished he didn’t have a girlfriend so you were free to do whatever you wanted with him, you wished you would stop feeling this way.

Sehun sure had a thing for asking you weird questions out of the blue the moment you sit down next to him in class because this time he asked you:

“Do you like Jongin?”

If you could pronounce question marks in real life that would be your response to his question, but since you couldn’t you settled for giving him the most confused look you could muster.

“I mean, you were hanging out with him at his place last night so I thought..”

“You’re an idiot, he’s my best friend, we were just hanging out and watching Netflix. Nothing special.” Your reply came out curt and probably sounded a little cold. You hadn’t intended it to come out that harsh but, you supposed you were just tired of this boy and his antics, no matter how much you liked him.

“Oh.” He said and he was silent after that for a long while, until he asked, “Do you wanna have dinner? After class? With me? And we could walk around the city again and you can take nice photos of me, or the buildings whichever you prefer.”

What was with him and stunning you into silence? Because, you didn’t give him a reply for a few minutes before muttering out a “sure” and going back to paying attention to the lecture.

The dinner was nice, and the impromptu photoshoot you had with him was nicer. He was a nice model, and you certainly weren’t complaining about having this many photos of him stored in your camera now. Being around him inspired you, strangely, and you were stopping him every five minutes to take a picture of some random things from different angles and different perspectives. You didn’t notice him observing you, and you sure as hell didn’t notice the small smile that was on his face when he watched you do what you enjoyed the most. He wanted to see you like this, always. And so, he captured this moment on his phone: you, awkwardly standing on an overhead bridge trying to get a shot of the cars underneath you. You wouldn’t see it until much later when you got home and viewed his Instagram story.

» sehun wtf!!! when did u take that i look clapped Seen 22:00

no u don’t wtf u look perfect Seen 22:04

You decided that was enough social media for that night and went to sleep. Your dreams contained images of you and him in a world where you were together, where everything was perfect, and the two of you were perfectly in love.

And somehow, you had managed to fool yourself into thinking the two of you were in love. The two of you hung out on almost a daily basis even when you didn’t have class together and you fell into this routine with him. You were so used to being with him and only him.

And you realised this, so you did the one thing you knew how to do. Rant to Jongin.

» nini i think im fucked Read 14:25

what did u do this time Read 14:25

» KSDLJFSLDKFJSD i think im catching serious feelings for this very taken man! Read 14:26

yeah you’re fucked Read 14:27

» FUCK U Read 14:28

After a very long phone call with Jongin, you decided to just see where this crush goes. Risky, but it was practically the only thing you suppose you could do. And, it was fine for a while. You still hung out whenever he asked, and you took photos of him, and he would take sneaky Instagram stories of you that you would cry over and tell him that you looked ugly, but as always, he would insist you look fine.

Of course, you were still constantly reminded that he was very much, taken, because in addition to his posts of you, his girlfriend would be scattered in there too. The two of them out on dates, her posing cutely for the camera and you were sad. Maybe even bitter. She was so effortlessly cute, and you could tell she made Sehun happy and she loved him, and he loved her. Who were you to get in the way of their relationship? So, you didn’t do anything.

Everything continued to be normal, or about as normal as your life could be with this stupid romantic drama you had found yourself in. Truthfully speaking, the only person you could blame was yourself. You hated yourself for catching feelings for him. Literally you could fall for any guy out there, and your brain decided on Sehun, the guy with a goddamn girlfriend. Brilliant. Maybe the universe was punishing you.

And you were entirely convinced it was, after Sehun heard you complain to Jongin about him.

It was at some random person’s party and you and the usual crew were there. Surprisingly, Sehun didn’t bring his girlfriend but you decided not to think too much about it. What did occupy your mind, however, was that Sehun was being quite touchy. He’s a naturally affectionate guy and you didn’t really pay attention to it, since he’s like that with everyone. But, maybe it was because you let your feelings for him stay bottled up too long because that night, you just exploded to Jongin in some stranger’s kitchen with loud music being played over the speakers and with the amount of people in there, you thought nobody could hear you rant.

But, like many times before, you had been wrong, because Sehun was silently standing at the entrance of the kitchen, watching you talk your mouth off to Jongin.

“Jongin, I can’t stand it. He’s so.. Ugh! I know he’s just a naturally touchy person and I don’t mind that one bit! In fact, I should be the last person to complain about this but, I just can’t fucking stand it. It bothers me so much that he’s like this and it really doesn’t help that I like him, so this is even more of a mess for me but goddamn. I don’t blame him though, it’s not like he knows I like him like that.”

You huffed and stayed silent for a while.

“I just hate how he looks at me you know? He looks at me like he’s in love with me. Does he look at everyone like that? It really throws me off. Sometimes I wish he was actually in love with me.”

Jongin poured you a drink while you vented to him. “Sweetheart, maybe you should tell him.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Are you crazy? No fucking way, I’ll just wait for my feelings to fade or something. It’s been like two months; they’re bound to go away. He has a fucking girlfriend what’s not clicking in my stupid brain?”

You accepted the drink Jongin offered you and you let your eye sweep around the kitchen, when your eyes fell onto him. Staring at you. And you were definitely, one hundred percent positive, that he had heard every single word you said. You nearly dropped the cup you were holding, and you slammed it on the kitchen counter. Jongin jumped at your action, and he opened his mouth to say something, until he looked in the direction you were staring at.

The both of you, in perfect unison, muttered: “Oh fuck.”

You grabbed Jongin’s wrist and pushed past the other partygoers in the kitchen to book it out the backdoor, in the opposite direction Sehun was standing in. He watched the two of you disappear out of the house. He certainly had a lot to think about.

You were fucked. There’s no other way around it. The moment you reached your apartment with Jongin in tow, you fell onto your couch and groaned into the pillows. Jongin perched on the back of the sofa and stroked your hair, telling you everything will work out eventually.

“I think it’s about time you told him, sweetheart.”

You let out a long sigh, and begrudgingly, accepted the fact that you did have to face the music. You were scared, but the truth was out and he knew it in the worst way possible and there was no escaping this.

“You’re right. But I’ll do it tomorrow. I don’t have the right state of mind to do it right now,” you told him. He agreed, and he led you into your bedroom and tucked you into bed, but not before you forced him to stay over because it was late and you didn’t really want him to leave. So, he took the couch while you attempted to fall asleep with thoughts of finally telling Sehun you liked him swirling around in your mind. Somehow, you managed to fall asleep and you would say it was the best sleep you had in a long time.

Until you checked your phone.

The unintentional scream you let out had Jongin dashing into your room to see your holding your phone with your face painted in horror. Your lockscreen was on display with a notification telling you that you had two unread text messages from Sehun.

[2 unread messages from Sehun]:

hey can we talk? Sent 01:24

[theatreakasuna-store]

⊰  “ I literally read all your discourse stuff in the tags and OMG... I couldn't agree with you more. The making Sasori into an emotionless person is one that particularly gets on my nerves. And when they make him seem worse than he really is. I don't know if there is a term for that. Like doing the opposite of woob. But it's just really nice to see someone else on the same wavelength.”  ⊱

I’m  gonna  put  this  under  a  read  more  bc  boy  I  never  shut  up ! 

Thanks  anon  I’m  glad  you  agree  its  always  nice  to  open  the  IB  to  an  anon  whos  not  tying  to  have  beef  KGKDKGJdG.  I  mean  yeah  Sasori’s  totally  a  stoic  but  the  thing  is  thats  all  he  is.  Its  a  facade.  A  very  good  one  which  was  ingrained  into  him  by  the  teachings  of  his  village  &  his  own  pain  but  its  just  an  ‘act’  so  to  speak. 

 Sasori  is  VERY  capable  of  emotion  &  very  much  experiences  emotion. He  may  not  express  it  openly  or  even  deny  it  but  its  absolutely  a  thing.   He  is  not  emotionless.  He  is  not  unable  to  truly  feel. ( Hes  not  even  unable  to  form  connections  with  others.  Sasori’s  loneliness  up  to  a  point  was  NOT  his  own  doing.  Its  made  clear  Sasori  wasn’t  a  ‘loner’  because  of  being  an  edgy  little  prick  or  anything  like  that.  He  was  a  loner  because  of  his  Prodigy  status  &  his  reputation.  He  was  not  even  ten  years  old  &  he  was  already  renowned &  infamous  throughout  the  war,  they  were  calling  him  Sasori  of  the  red  sand.  Suna’s  enemies  out  of  fear  &  suna  itself  out  of  lionising  his  proficiency  as  their  solider &  weapon.  It  was  claimed  he  soaked  the  desert  sands  red  in  blood  hence  the  moniker.  Its  not  that  he  wanted  that.  He  just  did  what  he  was  trained  to  do.  Its  not  that  he  wanted  to  be  alone.  His  loneliness  &  desire  for  human  affection  is....  a  big  part  of  him.  )   Its  really  sad  actually  because  Sasori  himself  doesn’t  seem  to  fully  understand  his  own  trauma (  I  dont  expect  him  to  of  course,  like. . .  theres  a  lot  )  &  not  only  that  but  it  was... Idealised  to  him.  

He  ‘feels  numb”.  Its  a  heavy  result  of  his  obvious  depression  which  started  when  he  was  only  5  &  lost  his  parents.  But  he  explains  it  as  being  like  a  puppet  &  embraces  it  as  such  because  not  only  is  Sasoris  literal  coping  method  puppets &  this  is  his  way  of  comforting  himself   but  this  “numbness”  was  taught  to  him  as  ideal  by  his  village.  So  instead  of  understanding  an  issue  he  can  work  on  &  improve  just  thinks  its  how  shinobi  are  suppose  to  be. 

THOUGH  AT  THE  SAME  TIME....  Sasori’s  incredibly  intelligent  ( Scarily  so,  hes  literally  a  high-level  genius )   &  I’m  pretty  sure  one  of  the  many   key  elements  of  his  story  was  his  own  realisation  that  his  villages  teachings  were  flawed  &  they  were  using  him  &  other  shihobi  as  mere  instruments  of  this  flawed  idea  which  was  wildly  inhumane &  unfair,  particularly  when  they  came  to  try  &  blame  him  for  the  death  of  his  only  friend  (  noted   as  the  only  person  who  treated  him  as  a  person )  when  he  was  actually  trying  to  help  said  friend.  Sasori  fashioned  himself  entirely  as  a  big  old  fuck  you  to  his  village  surrounded  by &  using   the  only  happy  place  he  knew.  The  only  things  he  found  reliable  &  safe.  Relating  humans &  puppets  became  so  easy  for  him,  idealising  puppets  in  place  of  people  was  second  nature  especially  due  to  his  village  treating  people  as  puppets.

That  said  Sasori  knows  what  hes  doing.  While  theres  a  break  in  reality  there  for  sure  Sasori  knows  the  whole  human  puppet  thing  is  morbid  per se.  He  knows  its  going  against  ‘morality’ &  ‘humanity’ &  all  that  kinda  thing  but  thats  one  of  the  appeals  of  it.  Hes  making  a  statement  in  that  way.  shinobi  dont  like  to  admit  it  but  Sasori  emphasises  that  theyre  all  just  puppets.  Toy  soldiers.  However  by  making  them  human  puppets  Sasori  in  a  way  thinks  hes  improved  them  as  well,  helped  them,  preserved  them,  because  now  they’re  eternal.  Like  this  is  definitely  not  a  one  dimensional  thing.  Its  extremely  compound.  

SO  YEAH!!  Big  time  agree  with  you  I  know  people  seem  to  take  pointing  out  the  tragic  nature  of  any  villain  is  woobifying  but...  Its  not.  Its  not  when  A)  its  canon  facts,  its  what  the  character  is  SUPPOSE  to  be  &  B)  pointing  out  these  facts  are  not  being  used  as  absolute  excuses  for  the  ‘bad  things’  the  character  has  done  /  is  doing  or  being  used  to  demonise  any  other  character  to  make  that  character  look  better. ( Huge  example  being  the  Loki  vs  Thor  situation  in  the  marvel  fandom  back  in  the  day )

The  reverse-woobifying  thing  is  definitely  something  I’ve  encountered  multiple  times  &  it  annoys  me  too,  just  as  much  as  woobifing  itself  does. It  seems  in  general  tumblr  has  an  issue  with  moderation  because  I  guess  people  hate  dimension &  also  like.  Your  villain  doesn’t  need  the  Most  Tragic  of  backstories  to  be  a  good  one.  I  personally  believe  ALL  villains  have  a  reason  to  be  what  they  are  but  they  don’t  have  to  be  particularly  traumatic  like  some  people  seem  to  think.  Nuance  is  nice.  Its  good  to  have  some  villains  that  are  relatable  but  not  because  their  stories  are  overwhelmingly  sad.  Because  the  thing  is...  Pain &  suffering  doesnt  come  in  one  shade &  what  someone  else  might  overcome  another  person  might  not  &  so  on . ..   Plus  its  also  good  to  have  villains  who  just  arent  really  sympathetic  at  all.   But  like  like...  as  a  whole  tumblrs  not  as  big  into  diversity  as  it  always  claims  in  ANY  way.   I  DIGRESS  tho.   In  particular  I’ve  found  characters  who  are  either  explicitly  LGBT  confirmed  or  HUGELY  LGBT  coded  are  a  huuuge  target  for  the  reverse-woobie  & thats  a....  massive  problem  which  was  largely  why  I  was  being  feral  in  my  tags  gjkdkgkkdg.

The  fact  that  still  the  only  characters  who  are  LGBT  &  particularly  dimensional  that  we  get  are  typically  villains  is  a  problem  to  start  with  but  thats  another  topic.  Its  fine  to  love  &  support  lgbt  villains  but... Definitely  something  wrong  with  the  reverse-woobie  being  so  predominate  when  it  comes  to  them.   The  reverse-woobie  in  this  instance  is  so  replusive  for  me  bc  it  enforces  the  idea  that  LGBT  people  are  not  sympathetic  or  relatable  &  when  they  ARE  then  its  ok  to  pretend  theyre  not  LGBT  &  effectively  erase  that  part  of  them.  Like  I  have  had  people  in  another  fandom  explain  to  me  that  their  reason  for  erasing  a characters  sexuality  as  gay  was  because  they  found  him  to  be  relatable  &  sympathetic  to  them  &  they  were  not  gay  so  they  preferred  to  see  him  as  bi  or  het  more  like  themselves  all  the  while  trying  to  claim  hetero  or  biphobia  if  you  attempted  to  explain  how  wrong  &  inherently  homophobic  that  is.   ( lol @ “”Heterophobia”” in general tho )  This  character  was  also  a  HUGE  target  for  reverse  woobifying  from  the  fandom  despite  the  fact  he  was  the  FURTHEST  thing  from  a  candidate  for  that  imaginable.  He  was  in  fact  canonly  more  an  anti-hero  than  an  outright  villain.  The  fandom  also  liked  to  ‘harass’  people  who  they  deemed  were  ‘woobifying’  him  which  essentially  related  to  like... Liking  the  character  &  defending  him  from  droves  of  homophobes  in  any  way.  Which  was  major  awkward  because  theyd  throw  explicit  tantrums  about  people  calling  him  a  “gay  icon”  in  any  way  but  weirdly  enough  this  “anti-woobie”  thing  with  him  ONLY  came  into  existence  when  he  was  confirmed  gay.  Prior  all  the  straight  fangirls  making  him  their  extra  deluxe  perfect  lover  boy  husbando  for  their  reader  x  him  fanfics  were  never  bothered  about  ‘woobifying’  in  any  way.

Dont  get  me  wrong  I  think  some  people  have  genuine  good  intentions  in  mind  for  the  reverse -woobie  in  fandom  in  regard  to  this,  an  idea  of  pointing  out  that  lgbt  ppl  are  capable  of  being  horrendously  evil  too  ect,  which  is  fine  &  all  but  it’ll  always  leave  a  bad  taste  in  my  mouth  if  the  villain  in  question  is  literally  a  canonically  tragic  one.   Especially  when  the  justification is  playing  on  tropes  particularly  used  to  demonise  lgbt  people.  Like  I  mentioned  as  an  example  for  Sasori  treating  him  as  an  entirely  emotionless  monster  while  simultaneously  empathises  hes  a-spec  or  whatever  given  emotionless /  unfeeling   /  inhuman   ect  are  huge  tropes  used  against  a-spec  people  to  dehumanise  &  demonise  us. 

Its  every  bit  as  awkward, & in  fact  I  would  argue  far  more  awkward  than  people  trying  to  woobify  villains  who  lack  “proper”  motive.  I  wish  people  would  be  more  careful  about  what  characters  they’re  reverse-woobing   n  why.