#source: me bitch

[incorrect-wandanat]

Wanda: Aw man, someone took the last soda.

Nat: What flavor?

Wanda: Oran—

Nat: *pulls out a 12-pack of orange soda*

Wanda: What the hell

Nat: I have a secret stash because they’re your favorite.

Wanda: Okay but you literally just pulled that out of nowhere.

Nat: …because I love you.

Wanda: but wHERE DID THEY COME FROM?

[yeats-nana]

Dick: Damian is gonna be born next month.

Wally: Oh shit, that soon?

Dick: Yeah, he's 8 months old already. Yesterday Talia showed me the overalls she's been knitting for him and I was like

Dick: THIS IS SO TINY THAT MY WHOLE HAND CAN'T EVEN FIT IN IT

Wally: [voice cracking] Dude.

Dick: HIS HEAD IS SO BIG. It seriously scares Talia. [cracking up] She's like, 'his huge potato head is gonna get stuck-'

Wally: [falls of the couch] Homaygod- [keeps laughing]

Dick: He's gonna be so ugly and loud and pretty and gross and everything beautiful ever existed in the whole universe and time and space

Wally: [now laying on the floor] Oh yeah, that is so true.

Dick: He's not even born yet but I would commit mass murder for him no questions asked

Wally: [looks up at Dick with awe-struck eyes] Babies are the best

[martyrofacrimescene]

Carlos has a fat ass and I feel that in my bones

[tristansarchive]

"It's so unfair, ya know?" - the words slip from his loosened lips, and he doesn't resent them because they're true.

It'd be fine to let it float around them then, as he keeps looking at the profile he makes and inching with his fingertips, the motion of tiny legs and feet strutting their way from Jeremiah's sharp collarbone towards his jawline provoking a side-eyeing of sorts and humming in a less than eloquent question— but the train of thought amuses him enough to give in, add some cord. - "You look almost fragile, like a little painted porcelain doll."

He states it giddily and rejoices on the immediate huffing that comes as a reply, pulling at the corners of his mouth for the smirk he throws at his twin, already turning his green head to counter his sweet nothings with something much too serious for what Jerome wants right now; so he interrupts him, pressing those same two fingers against Jeremiah's lips and bumping their noses, whispering to the unnatural blue of that gaze.

"It makes me want to break you that much more."

[sepulchritude]

Deadass gonna cite my own asexual history notes compilation in this project

[sugar-salt-n-spice]

eddie: you look cute today

robin: don’t make it sound like you’re flirting with me

eddie: god okay fine. you look like shit and i hate you

[gooeyscallywagg]

thai bls and male kpop idols are really like catnip to transmascs

[gojurt]

its always weird to me whenever people will have “ not safe for epilepsy “ or smth like that on their blog when really they mean there might be flashing lights + bright colors because A) photosensitive epilepsy isnt the only type of epilepsy and its fairly uncommon even among epileptic people and B) epilepsy isnt the only thing that makes people averse to flashing lights or eyestrain. many other people, including autistic people with hypersensitive senses, are uncomfortable with these kinds of sensory experiences. i feel like it isn’t that difficult to put a flashing lights/eyestrain/etc. content warning at the beginning of your blog rather than putting that label on it.

[j-nightingalesb1tch]

incorrect glee quotes

sam: *spits out his toothpaste*

sam: "hehe, llama impression."

[teeto-peteto]

[hoarder-of-dragons]

Aziraphale: I'm getting an impression that you are upset with me. Crowley, snarling: What do you think, supreme archangel Aziraphale: Well, if you were mad, I would beg for your forgiveness and do the apology dance which I'm currently unable to since you haven't let me go Crowley, embracing Aziraphale more tighter: Thisss provesss nothing

[incorrect-wandanat]

Peter: Hey, mom, can you-

Nat: Did you just call me mom?

Yelena: He just called you mom.

Wanda, walking in: What’s going on?

Yelena: Peter called Natasha mom.

Wanda: Oh my god, Peter, you called her mom?!?

Peter: *nervous sweats* Yes?

Nat: DO IT AGAIN, I’VE NEVER FELT SO HAPPY!

Kate, walking in: Hey, moms, when are we gonna-

Kate:

Nat: MY BABIES!

[yeats-nana]

Bruce: [exasperated] I am so sick of your outbursts! Why can't you be more like your brother, Dick??

Jason:

[The morning after]

Bruce: [only in his slippers and peach colored satine nightgown] Jason, get down from the chandelier!!

[chiangyorange]

[gets really close to the mic]

hey i think about the fact that not a lot of caseys in peepaw fics dont meet cassandra. i think about it a lot actually

hey. hey. hey are you listening to me, hey-

(first part)

Trial and Error - @apatheticrobots​

Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis - @mutantninjamidlifecrisis​

Let’s Make A Deal - @beeceit​

we’ll meet again, soon - mine

odd man out - @threestripeslider​

Last Grain Of Sand In The Hourglass - @last-hourglass​

[thelikesoffinn]

I legitimately forgot for how long both Cale and Alberu try to convince themselves that they don't like the other.

[martyrbat]

a female character isn't allowed to be a character that is also female. she isn't allowed her own agency and complex motives nor any deeper emotions without it being centered around the male cast around her or a child. even if she's not a mother, she remains one because she could always potentially become a mother or she is the ‘mom character’ to the men/children around her and her actions MUST reflect that. if they don't, she's labeled a selfish bitch. if she is an (actual) mother than that's all she is—she isnt allowed deeper characterization or discussion because thats all she'll ever be, that's all she was made to be. male characters are allowed to be fathers (lireral or in the sense of providing for the people around them) with deeper feelings but a mother? never a mother.