#the camera work really was very freaking good on this show

[reiderwriter]

Flirting with the FBI

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word count: 7.1k

Request: Hiiii!! This is my first time requesting anything on this app, but Spencer reid has me in a chokehold. So, I was thinking that the reader is the unsub, and she's like this very good hacker who keeps teasing the fbi cause she's bored or something so she keeps sending hints about who she is or where she is but they keep getting nothing on her. And all of this just keeps getting on Spencer's nerves. And so when Spencer finds her, she keeps teasing him and acting like a brat so he "disciplines" her and takes her roughly and maybe a bit of spanking???

Warnings: a lot tbh - mentions of case details, mentions of domestic violence and police brutality, reader is a possible target of a serial killer, bad tech skills from the writer who really couldn't be bothered to do anymore research than the actual CM writing team, rough Dom Spencer, brat reader, sexual innuendo, semi-public sexual play, spanking, dirty talk (good girl, brat etc.) fingering, raw sex/creampie, aftercare, slight dacryphilia (crying kink) and bimbofication.

A/N: My last fic was a heartwarming family fic, and now I'm back to being depraved. Apologies to anyone here for cute fluff 😭

Masterlist

You always thought hacking the FBI mainframe would be hard, but it's one of the easiest things you've done all week.

If they were going to sit around doing nothing while a serial killer ran around in their own backyard, then obviously, they needed a helping hand. Or a helping poem or two.

Getting into their security camera feed was just an added bonus.

You grabbed your bowl of popcorn and settled into your desk chair, clicking open the window to find which room exactly they would gather in to freak out together.

You made sure to get their attention, blacking out all the computers in the office as they ran to a backroom where a very distraught looking blonde woman was sat. She was evidently the go-to tech support of about six agents who quickly ran to her room to figure out what the issue was. It was show time.

“There once was a serial killer,

Who ate boys and girl both for his dinner,

He cut, diced and slashed,

Left the feds quite abashed,

So I leave this message to be clearer”

The poem scrolled onto their screen on a loop, flashing in and out quickly before you let the computer systems relax again.

You thought they'd panic, scramble for a pen or paper or something, but none of the agents moved until the flashing was over.

You watched curiously as an older man took charge of the scene, likely directing the woman at the desk to figure out who you were, where you lived, and what your social security number was. She got to work quickly, and he moved on to the other agents.

None of them had written the poem down. None had even taken a picture, but one man started talking, and for a while, all eyes and attention in the room were focused solely on him. His hands moved as his mouth did, as if he were casting a spell over the room as he spoke. Even more intriguing was the fact that he rarely seemed to make eye contact with any of them as he spoke. He wasn't conversing or giving directions. He was simply talking.

And you really wanted to listen in.

The younger man began to walk and you watched him quickly pace over to a whiteboard, switching from one feed to another as he made his way there, and pick up a pen before notating the poem perfectly.

Whoever this man was, he was making you feel more and more excited about the game of cat and mouse you had begun with the FBI. You weren't entirely sure if he was to be the cat or the mouse, though.

A few days later, they'd seemingly lost the motivation to work, so you again did their job for them.

With another accompanying limerick to help them along, of course.

“There once was a bullpen full of agents,

Who thought they were very surveillant,

But a simply code crack,

And there system did hack,

A young girl who lived quite adjacent.”

This time, you let the words linger on the screen longer, as you slipped your information into their files, leaving more bread crumbs they could follow to the real villain.

The Agent - Doctor, you had since learned - took up his pen once again and scribbled your first poem next to your most recent.

Doctor Spencer Reid. An IQ of 187, three PhDs and however many Bachelor's Degrees, a member of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, and, as you could somehow tell from the grainy security footage, incredibly attractive man.

He was calm, again talking with his hands as he notated, again drawing the rooms attention like he was the sun and everything needed to orbit him to sustain life. You wondered what it would be like to fluster him.

Typing something out quickly, you broke back into the FBI system. It was risky doing it again so soon again, knowing that their tech analyst was already actively hunting you down, cyber-wise. But you couldn't resist.

“The tall, dark and handsome employee,

How I do wish that he could enjoy me,

I would gladly submit,

we match wit for wit,

But he's trying his best to arrest me.”

The BAU team stood silent on the camera before the two women on the team burst into rambunctious laughter. The camera feed was archaic, black and white, and grainy to boot, but even you couldn't miss the red stain against Doctor Spencer Reid's cheeks. A bonus was the other gentlemen subtly posturing, trying to figure out exactly which of them was “tall, dark, and handsome.”

The payoff for that poem was so great that over the course of the next few days, you kept serenading him with love poems among your quick hints about the actual crime being committed.

You'd first suspected the man of being dangerous when you'd seen the state of his wife. 19 domestic disturbance calls in two months, 0 arrests, and 1 very cushy job as a police detective. You'd done some simple computer programming for your local precinct, inputting data from cases into an algorithm that helped track everything easier, so you'd been intimate with cases that he'd handled.

A pattern had emerged, a series of murders of “undesirables,” people the city didn't care about when alive and certainly didn't have the resources to allocate to after their deaths. Prostitutes, the homeless, and runaway foster kids. All missing or dead, all cases handled by the same officer. The officer that lived next door to you and was one beer away from beating his wife into submission 5 days a week.

After your third 911 call, you'd been notified of your contract termination with the precinct. After the tenth, you noticed parole cars driving by every hour.

By call number 19, you were sure it was a miracle he hadn't tried to have you arrested.

So you turned back to the FBI to see what they could do about a man who treated his wife, and basically everyone else, like scum of the earth.

“Please don't get sidetracked by my hacking,

I'm a good girl, your team I am backing,

the killer, you see,

Is right now hunting me,

You're the ones who can do better tracking.”

You watched the tension snap back into place in the office as, for the first time, Spencer Reid was silent at your message. They all got back to work quickly, going over the files you'd dropped in their servers.

That night, Spencer Reid stayed in the office late, reading through piles and piles of files and looking for the connection he needed. You watched in pity, feeling almost guilty that you'd placed this burden on him instead of just approaching them honestly. But you'd called the police before, and it hadn't worked, so getting attention anyway you could was the only way to go.

You watched for so long that you began noticing his small habits. Each time you sensed frustration, he would run a hand through his hair and tug it slightly. When he found something, he leaned in closer to the page, as if his proximity to the words would make them clearer. Finally, he stood and began clearing his files. But you weren't quite ready to sign off yet, the shouting already beginning in the apartment next to yours, so you quickly typed out the first thing that came to mind to get him to stay.

“There once was a doctor called Reid,

Who I simply and truly just need,

I would lie on my back,

And then let him attack,

Any inch of my body with his seed.”

He fumbled the files in his haste to remove your words from his screen, from every screen now in the building, face awash with embarrassment as he looked around for some sign that no one witnessed your words.

Luck was not to be had as the tech analyst - Penelope Garcia - came shooting out of her office to join him in the near empty bullpen, and the older team leader - Aaron Hotchner - also looked out over the bannister from his office as they bore witness to your seduction.

You were driving Spencer Reid crazy.

He'd spent the last two weeks tracking down a serial killer who may or may not exist based on the word of a set of limericks delivered to the BAU through illegal means that had begun unabashedly flirting with him.

This latest limerick was his last straw.

“The cameras are how I can see you,

I do find myself enjoying the view,

His hair is so fine,

I wish he was mine,

The agent with more PhDs than two.”

“Another score, pretty boy, it was about time someone noticed your good looks instead of your brain for once.” Morgan patted him on the shoulder, barely containing his glee and laughter.

“She's watching us through security feed, and that's all you have to say?” he grumbled, writing out this limerick again, the words to the others burned into his brain. “She's playing with me.”

“It sure sounds like she'd enjoy doing just that,” Emily laughed from her desk, “but I think she might be right, Spencer. Every case file she's given us has suspicious activity on it. They're all unsolved, but the victims aren't linked.”

“He's crossing race and gender boundaries, but he's hitting undesirables.”

They had a case because of you. It didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy handcuffing you and putting you in a cell once this was all finished.

“WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE,” Penelope shouted from her office, to no avail. If it was at one computer, it was on all of them.

“The agents grew closer by day,

As the killer wanted to escape,

He paced across the floor,

As I watched by his door,

Getting closer than the agents could say.”

He paused then for a second, thinking through each of the limericks in turn and the panic began.

“Closer than… Emily, the officer that took in all of the cases, what was his name?”

“Officer Falstaff, why?”

“I think he might be our killer. And I think he knows she's on to him, or if he doesn't, he will soon.” He stood suddenly, grabbing a file and sprinting to Penelope’s office, Emily and Morgan trailing close behind.

“Spencer, wait-”

“No time. If we want them both alive, we have to move now.”

Throwing the door to Penelope’s room open, he didn't even bother with niceties.

“Can you get her a message?” He demanded, panting from the short run.

“A wha-? Spencer, what are you talking about?”

“Can you send the hacker a message? Or leave her one so she can find it when she comes?”

Penelope swivelled around in her chair once again, doing who-knows-what to answer his question.

“There's no telling what she actually sees in our servers, Spencer, we didn't see any breach in classified files, the only thing she's done is read your personal file and drop us hints.”

His hands closed into fists as he nodded along. “So no?”

“No, Spencer, I'm sorry. Why? Are you starting to grow fond of our little helper.”

“She's not our little helper. She's a criminal. And she'll be dead soon if I don't confirm with her that we have the right guy - excuse me.”

The anger was washing over him now, as he left the room to get some air, getting only as far as the corridor before slamming an open palm into the wall and resting his forehead against it for a moment, just thinking.

The stress of the case was almost too much for him as he turned around and rested his back against the wall, sliding down it until he was sat on the floor. He may have despised you at that moment, but he didn't want you to get yourself killed.

Something nagged him, still, some stress or anger that hadn't yet surfaced, or some case fact he was missing. A glint at the corner of his eye had him looking up to the camera currently trained directly on him.

Computers are useless, he thought to himself, when you can send a letter.

The next time you sat down at your desk, you weren't exactly shocked to see an up close and personal shot of Aaron Hotchner - they'd turned your security stream into a one way facetime and you were sat directly opposite the big boss himself in an interrogation room.

“Checkmate, I guess,” you said, waiting for the man to move.

A signal from behind the camera let him know you were online and watching. He picked up a pen and paper and scribbled down something before holding the note out to you once more.

The name and location of the bastard next door. They'd done it, and now you simply had to drop your evidence, shut down your computer, and wait for the sirens to sound.

You felt slightly sad typing out your last message, knowing that you had no more reason to stay in touch with the team now. Still, you were only human and couldn't resist the chance to say something more.

“Aaron Hotchner and his clever team,

Working with you has been like a dream,

When Reid comes it is wet,

And my mind is all set,

Oh, I do wish that he'd make me cream.”

The camera turned seconds after your message was sent, and there he was, reading intently, frow creased in annoyance as he tried to remain calm. He, too, picked up a pen and paper.

“I have questions,” the paper said when he turned it around. Holding it up for a few seconds before returning his pen to paper. You typed out a message before he could finish dictating his, though.

“When you find me there's lots for me to say,

I can't help simply feeling this way,

Your profile I read,

Can't believe you're a Fed,

I yearn for you all night and day.”

Somehow, the lines between his brow deepened as he quickly scribbled out another message. This one wasn't a question, though. It was simply two words.

He'd written your name on that paper. He'd found you.

You weren't sure if the tingle that ran up your spine was fear or anticipation. One one hand, you'd likely committed multiple felonies in the pursuit of justice, and the SWAT team about to pick up the killer was going to knock for you, too. On the other hand, it was pretty much a given that you would be seeing Spencer Reid in person in the next few hours.

“The Doctor had finally cracked it,

The only identity that could fit,

The pretty young thing,

Who'd been flirting with him,

And was thinking of sitting on his…”

You sent a second message along with the first.

“I couldn't make this one rhyme, Doc. Come and get me.”

The sound of the FBI outside your neighbour's door had you stepping away from the computer finally. It was time to get ready to see him. You stepped out of your robe and into the shower as you waited to be collected and hauled into a police vehicle.

xxx

So far, you were a bit disappointed by the look of the BAU offices. It was smaller than it appeared on the CCTV, and you hadn't exactly given the tour. Unless the whole tour was the wall from the elevators, through the bullpen and straight to interrogation room one. You were also slightly embarrassed that you had yet to be greeted by any of your favourite characters yet. The lead swat officer had led you in some desk agents dropping by to have you fill out some simple documents - waiving your rights and all that. You'd seen not even a single member of the BAU since dropping in two hours ago, but you felt his eyes on you.

You faced the mirror, trying your best to stare straight through it and into the man beyond.

Spencer Reid was there. He had to be. He was too curious to be anywhere else. You smiled at him through the mirror and waited.

You were right, of course. Spencer stood on the opposite side of the one-way window and watched you look for him in every inch of the glass. He watched you squirm when you couldn't find anything, watched you pick at your nails as he made you wait.

He watched you cross and uncross your legs, the short skirt you'd slipped into just before you left providing just enough mystery to catch his eye and his breath.

He was annoyed, frustrated, a little bit impressed, anxious, and - to his peril - turned on.

“Spencer,” Hotch said, breaking the man's concentration. “We can't keep her that much longer. Go in and say something, or I'll cut her loose.”

Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes away and stepped out of the waiting room before letting himself into yours.

“Miss Y/N, my name is Doctor Spencer Reid, I'm a profiler working with the Behavioural An-”

“You're joking, right?” You asked, eyes lighting up, spine straightening as you looked up at the man. “I know who you are, Doc.”

“Please call me Doctor Reid,” he asked, setting down a file on the table and looking over the desk at you.

“Oh, I don't even get your first name.” You lifted your leg and ran it along the side of his until he moved his chair back, just out of reach. You pouted as he began reading through documents, asking you to confirm exactly which technical breaches you were responsible for.

“And the breach at 1:27pm on Thursday 5th-”

“Yes, that was me, too. They were all me, Doc, is that all? Are we finished now?”

“I don't know, are we finished? Can I leave?”

“No,” you shouted, just as he stood up to gather his things. “No, don't go. I want to talk to you.”

He sat back down, finally looking at you instead of words on a page.

“Do you enjoy attention, Miss Y/N?” He asked, voice cold but gaze burning like fire into your skin.

“As much as anyone does.”

“Do you enjoy my attention?” The words hung between you for a few minutes as you watched him carefully, searching for the right answer.

“What do you think, Doc?”

“Doctor Spencer Reid,” he repeated reflexively.

“I know your name,” you smiled, and he finally looked away, breaking contact to regroup for a second.

“We have reason to believe you used your backdoor into our system to access my personal file, is that correct?” It may have been asked as a question, but Spencer Reid already knew the answer.

“Yes, I did.”

“Why?”

You laughed at the simple question, sure that your behaviour until this point was evidence enough to answer it.

“Why? Because you're attractive and your smart and-”

“Why haven't you used the content of the files as leverage? I've been digging at you for the last half hour, and you have plenty of ammunition to throw back at me, yet you haven't. Why?”

For the first time in a while, you were speechless.

“Oh. Wow. Should I have said something? Would you have felt more comfortable if I were a horrible person using your background to make you feel vulnerable?”

“Why, Y/N?”

You sighed and looked back up at him.

“I'm interested in you. That's it. Honestly, there is nothing in your file more interesting than how you look running your hands through your hair.”

His jaw clenched and unclenched before he let out a sigh.

“So you're a compulsive liar.” He said it so finitely it was like a kick in the teeth.

“Or maybe you're just insecure. I can help with that.”

He shot you another warning look as a grin spread over your lips. Yes, it was very fun to mess with Spencer Reid.

“FBI Agents aren't allowed to sleep with suspects.”

“You want to sleep with me?”

His eyes went wide as he realized his mistake, mouth opening and closing as he tossed another annoyed look in your direction.

The door to the interrogation room opened, and Reid quickly bolted out of his seat as Aaron Hotchner entered. The two men shared a nod before the younger man left the room entirely.

“Such a shame, I thought we were really getting somewhere.”

To your surprise, Hotchner’s lips curled up in a laugh as he sat down, straightening his suit.

“Miss Y/N, we've reviewed the information you've given us and taken into account your motives, and the FBI has decided not to prosecute you for your actions.”

You sat for a minute, Hotch doing the same, the both of you caught waiting for each other to say something or continue.

“But?” You prodded, knowing there was more left to say.

“But, we'd ask for your cooperation on cases in the future that require technological man-power. In a consultancy role, of course. You wouldn't be given a badge or a gun or any clearance, and you'd need to be with an agent at all times.”

You tapped your fingers against the desk, trying to figure out if this deal was beneficial or not.

“I'll do it if I can pick the Agent.”

Now, the man was fully smiling at you or giving you what you assumed passed for a smile in his books.

“We had recommended Doctor Reid for the role. Of course, if you're more comfortable with another agent, you can-”

“Doctor Reid is perfect, thank you.”

The man nodded and stood, and you stood with him as he led you quietly out of the room.

A flustered Spencer Reid exited the adjoining room, hurrying to catch Hotch before he really signed his life away to you.

“Hotch, what is this?” He demanded, stopping the man in his tracks. They both paused, turning around and moved a few feet awaywfrom.you whispering out their argument.

You couldn't catch most of it, but you did happen to catch the phrases “man-eater,” “I'm not good with people,” and “Spencer, this will be good for you.” Victory in the end went to Hotch, who promptly turned on his heel and kept walking down the hall.

“I work here now,” you said, grinning up at Spencer.

“No, you don't.”

“According to your boss, I do. And you're my babysitter.”

“You're a criminal. You hacked into the FBI database to leave ominous clues to multiple murders.”

“If you call those ominous clues, I'm curious how people usually flirt with you.”

“They don't. Why…why are we having this conversation?”

He stormed off ahead of you, and you quickened your pace to catch up to him, following him down a familiar hallway to what was obviously tech central at the BAU.

“Spencer, seriously? You're walking around looking like that, and no one hits on you?”

He stopped abruptly, and you ran into his back before he turned around to scowl at you again.

“Can we keep this serious, please?”

“I'm very serious about flirting with you, and I'm stumped why more people aren't.”

“Okay, let's go somewhere and talk,” his hand landed on your waist, readying his grip to forcibly move you if need be.

“I thought that's what we were doing.” Instead of allowing him to move you, you leaned into his touch, stepping closer and raising a hand to his chest, as his head dipped to maintain eye contact.

“No, this isn't talking, this is some weird foreplay I've never heard of, and I'd like you to leave my office if you're going to continue,” the woman sat at the desk exclaimed, horror and amusement fighting a battle for her facial expressions. “I like to keep my office a no trauma zone, so please take a walk to the nearest bed or storage closet or car and you can shove your tongues down each other's throats in peace and out of my sight, please and thank you.”

Spencer tried to step away, but a hand on his tie kept him close and kept his eyes on you. You poked your head out around him and smiled at the other woman.

“Sorry to disturb you. I'm Y/N. Based on the tech, I assume we will be working with each other soon.”

“Oh my gosh, you were, like, my number one most hated person last week. Penelope Garcia, tech analyst.”

“I'm sorry about that. If it makes it any better, it was really hard to get past some of your firewalls. And I couldn't even touch the classified files.”

“Apology accepted, on the condition that you lead young Reid out of my office right now before he explodes.”

You grinned and grabbed the man's hand, sending Penelope a quick goodbye as you pulled him out of the room.

He stumbled behind you for a few moments before catching up and pulling you in a different direction, keeping your hands intertwined as he bee-lined for the elevators and pushed the button to go down.

It arrived, and he pulled you in, not releasing your grip until the doors were fully closed and you were alone.

“Getting me all alone, Doc? What do you have in mind?”

“I'm driving you home.”

“My apartment is a crime scene, and I have no family in the city.”

“What about friends?”

“I've been stalked by a homicidal police officer for the last month and barricaded myself into an apartment. Do you think I have friends?”

His gaze was somewhat softer as he looked at you again. You saw the math happening in his head as he tried to figure out what to do with you. You also saw his brain short circuiting when you wrapped yourself around his arm.

“We're friends now, Doc. Isn't that right?”

“What?”

“We're friends,” you repeated again, tone becoming a little defensive in a pout.

“We are not friends, Y/N. We've known each other for less than 6 hours, and we haven't engaged in any friendly conversation.”

“We've known each other for two weeks, and I've been more than friendly enough for the both of us.”

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Gesturing for you to go first, Spencer hurried you out of the elevator and into the parking garage.

“Trust me, Spencer, deep down, part of you really wants to be friends with me,” you said poking his chest with a finger. You couldn't resist flattening your hand against his surprisingly hard chest and letting the hand drop slightly.

“And an ever deeper down part of you doesn't want to be friends at all,” you smiled at him.

He caught your wrist before it could reach his belt buckle, your unconscious finish line, spinning you around and dragging you to his car.

The biting cold of metal cutting into your wrists was the first indication that maybe Spencer Reid wasn't as easy to mess with as you'd hoped. He closed the handcuffs around your wrists and handed you into the car as you gaped at him.

“Spencer!”

“Doctor Spencer Reid.”

“I’m not a criminal, Spencer, let me go.”

“I'll let you go when you prove to me you can behave.”

You pouted as he strapped you into the car and closed the door, walking around to the passenger side before letting himself in.

“What's next? Are you going to gag me?” You scoffed as he turned over the engine and began backing out of the parking lot.

“No. I think you'd enjoy that too much.”

The drive to Spencer's apartment was long and quiet as you sat pouting in the passenger seat. Every few seconds, you twisted and moved your arms, fidgeting left and right so he could see how much the restraints bothered you. Luckily, he'd handcuffed your hands in front of your body, so you still sat somewhat comfortably, but you didn't want him to know that.

He pulled up to the building and turned off the engine, pulling out his keys.

“Let's go,” he said, not even sparing you a look as he climbed out.

“Spencer, I'm handcuffed. How do I even get out?”

“You'll figure it out. You're a smart girl, right?”

He closed his door and began walking, and you quickly fumbled your way out.

“Spencer… Spencer, your neighbours are going to ask questions about you bringing a handcuffed girl into your apartment!” You whispered at him as you paced behind him, somehow running to catch up with his mere walk.

“I don't have neighbours like you, Y/N. They won't notice a thing.”

“Right, okay. And when you murder a dozen people over a six month period, they won't hack the federal government.” You rolled your eyes as he unlocked the door, taking your arm and finally handing you into the apartment.

It was dark and cold, and you shivered, feeling his body pushed in right behind yours, closing the door before he felt around for the light switch.

When the lights turned on, you blinked, adjusting to the light again as he walked you further into the apartment, hands on your hips as you slowly stumbled forward.

“Can you take the handcuffs off now?” You asked, looking over your shoulder at him.

“And let you touch my things? No.”

You shook off his hands and walked further into the room.

“You know I can still mess with your stuff with my hands tied up like this,” you said, walking to the nearest bookshelf.

“Whoops, look at that,” you said, pulling a book off the shelf and letting it fall to the floor between you with a thud.

“Y/N!” He exclaimed, voice pitched up in exasperation.

“Oh, this stack of books on the ground looks well organized. Oopsie!” You acted out tripping over the books, sending them flying in different directions.

“One more time, Y/N, mess with my stuff one more time-”

You didn't hear the words as you pulled yet another book off his shelf and let it tumble to the ground.

He was on you in seconds, lifting your wrists and pinning them to the top shelf, pressing his body against yours as he stretched you out.

You gasped at both the sudden contact and the tight grip he now had on your hands.

“Tell me, do you actually want to be in control, or do you just think you should want to be in control?”

“What's the difference?”

“The difference is how much you enjoy it. I think you're only being a brat to get a rise out of me. You're doing this because there's no one else in your life that will give you exactly what you crave."

"And what would that be?"

"Attention," he whispered into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Great, thanks for the therapy. Are you going to show me how much I can enjoy relinquishing control now?”

“Brat,” he spat at you.

“Fed,” you spat back.

“You have a problem with law enforcement?” He asked, his breath hitting your ear as you tried not to shiver again at his touch.

“My neighbour was a serial killer whose day job was police brutality," you said, as if the answer was obvious, but Spencer still stared, waiting for true confirmation.

“Yes I have a problem with law enforcement. What, are you going to spank me?”

His eyes lit up, and you suddenly wondered if you'd made a mistake.

“You'd like that, wouldn't you?”

“N-No.” You stuttered, but he'd already begun moving you over to his couch.

“It was a joke. Spencer, it was a joke, don't-”

You underestimated his strength as he flipped you around and guided you down over his lap. Keeping your hips raised, he used one hand to hold you down while the other pushed up your tight skirt.

“S-Spencer, I really don't think-”

“Then don't think,” he said, bringing his hand down hard on your ass as you cried out in shock and pain.

“Stop thinking. You think too much, let me do it for you.”

With each hit, your shock grew fuzzy, melting into pleasure as you felt wetness pooling between your thighs.

The doctor you thought would be an easy target was not sadistically returning every teasing word back to you with his hands, letting bruises blossom all over your ass as he delivered painfully arousing strikes.

His hand stopped and he rubbed your ass as you twitched at the gentleness, panties sticking to the folds of your cunt as you absent mindedly pushed up into his touch.

“See, now you're listening,” he said, fingers trailing down to touch you over the sopping undergarments.

With two quick fingers, the crotch of your panties peeled away from your skin and he was plunged deep inside you, fingers pressing in as his thumb found its way to your clit.

“Fuck, Spencer-”

“Doctor Reid. You can use my full title now or you don't get to cum.”

“D-Doctor Reid, please!” His thumb rubbed slowly over your clit bit his fingers didn't move as you shuddered and contracted around them.

“Please what?” He asked, voice light as if he wasn't two knuckles deep in you already.

“Please make me cum, Doctor Reid!”

“Good manners,” he said as he finally began pumping his digits in and out of you, spreading your legs wider as you clawed your hands into his couch cushions to ground yourself in the moment. His spare hands left your wrists, and you felt them again, delivering small, almost cute hits to your ass as you twitched around his fingers, shying away from the painful contact.

“That's it, Y/N, let yourself relax,” he whispered, shifting his weight underneath you as you became aware of the tent in his pants.

Your brain was jello as you tried to bounce back on his fingers, chasing your oncoming orgasm.

“Look at you, trying to cum on my hands. You're just an attention-seeking slut, right?”

His fingers continued ppimg as your tongue hung loosely in your mouth.

“Answer me, or I'll leave you here high and dry, Y/N. Tell me you're an attention seeking slut that's been fingering yourself to the thought of this for weeks.”

“I-I'm an a-atten…tion seeking s-slut,” you stifled a moan and bit back tears as he pressed another finger inside of you. “Spencer I can't I need to cum,” you cried, tears spilling down your cheeks pathetically.

“Say it.”

“I'm an attention seeking s-slut that's been th-thinking about this-”

“Fingering yourself,” he corrected.

“Fingering myself to the thought of this for w-weeks,” you cried, sniffing now as your thighs shook in anticipation.

“What a nasty little slut,” he said as you finally came, your cum running down his fingers as he kept his hands moving.

Your tears were falling freely now as you bit back little sobs and chokes of emotions, the pleasure from the orgasm almost too much to handle.

Underneath you, Spencer shifted, freeing himself from his position and laying you fully down on the sofa as your legs still shook.

“There once was a doctor called Reid,” he said, unzipping his pants as he took up his place behind you.

They were your words, and your body signalled warnings everywhere as his hands pulled your hips up once more, pulling your knees up too to bend under you, laying you face down ass up.

“Who I simply and truly just need.”

He pulled the panties down to the crook of your knees before leaning down over you so he could deliver the next few lines as whispers into your ear.

“I would lie on my back, And then let him attack, Any inch of my body with his seed.”

A weak moan escaped your lips as he sank his cock inside of you, lips still pressed against your ears.

“I don't want you on your back, though. I much prefer you like this.”

His cock slid out of you and returned with a speed and strength that had your eyes rolling back in your head.

He was thick, maybe a little longer than average, and he filled you perfectly using your cum as lubricant.

“Such a good listener, now, Y/N. I like you like this,” he said with a moan, thrusting hard and deep inside of you.

You didn't talk. You could only drool and moan into his couch as he emptied your brain one thrust at a time.

You didn't think about how he wasn't wearing a condom. You didn't think about how he'd spat your words back at you, ready to fill you with his seed. You just sat in a pool of your own pleasure and let Spencer Reid use your body as you'd been begging him to for weeks.

He raised your hips and gave one last thrust, stilling there for a second as he filled your empty body and mind with his cum and his entire being.

If you weren't obsessed with Doctor Spencer Reid before this, you certainly were now.

He pulled out of you quickly, wiping his cock on your skirt before hurrying off to the bathroom to clean up.

Your brain was still absent when he returned, cleaning you off and finally removing the handcuffs. He removed your clothes, replacing them with his spares as he threw the soiled ones into the wash.

When you regained your wits or what was left of them, you were laid out in his bed, wrapped in a blanket and stuffed into a sweater and sweats, fully covered from head to toe. Spencer was picking up his keys and trying his shoelaces.

“Where are you going?’ You asked sleepily, stumbling to the doorway. Your legs were still shaky, and your movement was already limited. You knew that tomorrow, the use of your limbs would be nonexistent.

“Back to the office. Now that you're not around, maybe I'll be able to get some actual work done.”

“Spencer,” you said, forcing him to turn around to look back at you.

Before he could say anything else, you pressed your lips to his, hot and needy, wrapping your arms around his neck as he kissed back, slipping his tongue into your mouth and pressed you into the wall next to the door.

When you both pulled away for breath, you detangled your limbs, smoothing out his shirt and readjusting his tie.

He looked down at you, waiting for you to say something else as you met his gaze, grinning at him.

“I look forward to working with you, Doctor Reid.”

[bigfatbimbo]

i cannot get over pervy vox OMG

could you maybe write a fic/drabble where vox goes into readers room after they’ve masturbated and sucks on their vibrator just to get a taste of them?

maaaaybe he gets caught…?

sorry if this is too filthy lmaooo but i love love love your work!! also, if you do emoji anons I’d love to be 💕anon :)

Pervy!Vox x Reader Oneshot —

a/n — I love how in the bigfatbimbo universe, there are some things we just accept. Like boycunt Luci, girldick Lute, and now pervy Vox. Makes sense.

summary — In a desperate act, Vox goes into the readers room after they’ve masturbated and sucks on their vibrator. His punishment? Getting that vibrator used on him.

warnings — Smut, Vox being a fucking creep, small use of y/n, use of ‘mommy,’ Sub!Vox, Dom!reader

He couldn’t help himself, he saw you playing with yourself on his cameras and you just looked so pretty. It’s true, he just couldn’t resist ‘coincidentally’ knocking on your door after.

Just like how he couldn’t stop himself from sneaking off to ‘use the bathroom’ and take a short detour to your room. It wasn’t hard to find the vibrator, after all, you didn’t expect company and you didn’t expect anyone to be looking, either.

Vox didn’t really know what the plan was, so for a moment he just stared at it. However, despite the voices in his head telling him to hurry up, he very slowly leaned down to pick up the vibrator. God, it’s still slick with your beautiful fluids. And then all of a sudden he’s picturing you using this again, hearing your amazing noises, and before he realizes it, the vibrator is pressed to his lips.

He didn’t hesitate, after that, to wrap his tongue around it and suck longingly. If he let out small whimpers, they went unnoticed to him. Vox was far more concerned with the taste of you on his tongue and the growing pressure in his crotch.

“What are you doing?” Your voice is sharp and accusatory, cutting through the otherwise quiet room like a dagger.

He fumbles, dropping the vibrator in his surprise. Realizing what he has done, he glances down in awe of his uncharacteristic clumsiness. He doesn’t turn to face you.

“Uh, my dear, I was just going to the bathroom when…” His eyes dart around the room as he tries to think of his feet, “When I saw something on your floor, you should really be more careful with your things.”

Happy with his answer, he finally turns halfway to face you, careful to keep the bulge in his pants the other direction.

“Yeah, you’re right. I should be careful with my things,” your voice was not only skeptical, but you spoke with a tone that said, ‘oh, now you’re totally caught.’

You started walking towards him. Shit, he turns away from you further, screen brightening noticeably.

“Uhm, wait,” A laugh cuts through his voice, originally meant to be reassuring but falling flat and just coming off awkward, “My dear, we should go back to the living room—“

“Wow, Vox,” you lean down to pick up the vibrator, examining it, “You cleaned it off for me, too right? How sweet.”

You begin to sulk towards him, he sinks back.

“Only, wait a second—“ you make a show of putting your finger to your chin and thinking, “—you never mentioned going to bathroom after your detour.”

He frowns, blush on his screen deepening. His temper begins the rise, “Uhm, why am I being interrogated right now?”

You don’t listen too him, “That’s means the only thing you could have done was—“ letting out a fake gasp, you give him an almost sympathetic look before walking towards him further, “Oh Voxxy. Tell me you weren’t that desperate.”

“What? No I— Oh, fuck you,” His body tensed when he feels your hand on his shoulder.

“Good, because only a pathetic freak would do something like that,” his screen flushes when your eyes shift down his body. “Oh, but it looks like you got all worked up, huh?”

He doesn’t bother saying anything, just looking away in distain, “Look if you’re going to be all— hah!”

Vox yelps when he feelings your fingers graze his bulge.

“You’re disgusting,” you breathe into his neck, “Get on the bed.”

All thoughts in his mind about brainwashing you to forget this ever happened disappear, “What?”

“Get on the fucking bed, Vox,” You hiss with authority. Whatever fake sympathy you just displayed was gone, being replaced only by sharp commands.

You tug him backwards slightly and he falls onto the mattress.

“Hey— Hey, wait!” He complains, a whine creeping into his voice when the thought of your hand grazing his harden dick crossing his mind once more.

Vox was needy, the actions taken with your vibrator started it, and your condescending attitude only increased it. He felt undeniably embarrassed. How could he be caught? How humiliating… but god, if that didn’t make him all the needier.

You straddle him, softly grinding yourself against him, he bites his lip and softly whimpers. You push him down completely.

“Let’s see,” you undo his bowtie and start to pick up the bottom of his vest.

“So many punishments I could choose,” you begin to unbutton his shirt at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Punishment? You were the one who just left it out and—“ He’s cut off when you roll your hips making him whine desperately, “Nngh, fuck.”

“Maybe i’ll make you watch as I touch myself,” you toy at a button, two buttons, “Hm, but I bet you already did that today, huh, freak?”

He tries to protest but slam onto his crotch, forcing a yelp out of him.

“I could tie you up, but of course that’s not enough,” only one button left, “Say, I think maybe you should have a turn with that vibrator.”

“Y/n, let’s think about this,” his voice is whiny, but desperately clawing at any attempt to lighten the sentence you’re giving him.

“No, Vox. I think I deserve a turn to sit back and watch you get off, right?” You get off of him momentarily, a noise of complaint leaving his mouth.

You begin to dig through your drawers, looking for ropes, “God, Vox. I bet you’re look so good with one of mommy’s vibrators stuck up your pretty ass.

”Oh god. Oh god, fuck,” He moans at the thought, crawling up and resting against the headrest of the bed, watching you slink forwards him.

“Aw, shit. Of course,” you begin, wrapping the ropes around his wrists and securing them together, “Of course that would mean no attention at all to your dick. You know, because i’m just watching after all.”

“Dear god—“ He frowns deeply, bringing his tied wrists down to his screen to look at them. “Is— Is this really necessary? I mean a punishment—hah. You don’t think…” He trails off into awkward dismissive laughter, trying to ignore the pounding in his cock.

You don’t answer this time, instead focusing on getting the vibrator into Vox. You flip him over, doing what you need too in order to prepare for the toy, all while eliciting small moans and complaints from Vox.

Finally, you slide one of the vibrators from your drawer into him, causing him to suck in breath.

You position yourself behind him, resting your head on the crook of his neck and positioning his tied hands begging you neck as you turn the vibrator on.

Immediately, he lets out a terrible moan, “Fuck, fucking god,” leans further into you.

For the next few aggravating minutes, you don’t say anything to Vox. Almost as if you weren’t there at all. It made him wonder about his punishment.

Had you known for sure he was watching? Surely that was the only way he would get this kind of punishment, bedroom mess aside. The silent treatment, You just watching him.

It had to be that. He wasn’t sure how you’d known for certain, but anytime he began to wonder you seemed to turn up the vibrator.

It was impossibly hot, the humiliation of it all. But incredibly irritating, the pounding in his under-stimulated dick, and the vow of silence you’ve apparently taken to make this a punishment.

“Oh fuck, y/n, speak for gods—szz—sake,” He whined, leaning his screen back into you and gazing up longingly.

He probably looked pathetic and needy, but he didn’t seem to mind. Fuck, maybe if would even get you to say something.

“Oh my god,” He tugged at the binds on his wrists, which rested behind your neck, “Say something, anything! I wanna hear you.”

He kicked his feet as he struggles, pressure building in his dick, tears pricking the corner of his eyes, and the pleasure coming from the vibrator in his ass. It was all so much but not enough at the same time.

“Jesus christ, please—ssz,” He pleaded up at you, voice catching with the sobs that built up in his chest, “I need to hear you, I need you to t—ttch—talk to me. Tell me how bad I am, I don’t care, just anything!”

He squirmed and thrashed, only for you to suddenly slam his hips down, holding him in place. Still, you didn’t say anything, gazing at him, somewhat bored looking,

Bored looking. That messed with him. How could he be the center of your attention and yet keep you completely not captivated at the same time. It wasn’t fair.

It was even more unfair when your bored expression turned momentarily into a disapproving sneer. Vox didn’t understand for a second, before realizing tears were streaming down his screen.

“Fuck, mommy—fff— please! Mommy—“ He whined and he gave into crying and sobbed half heartedly.

The lights around you flickered and Vox began buffering more regularly.

“Touch me, talk to me—zzz—Please, anything,” he cried up at your unfazed face.

He could feel his climax building, the sensations washing over his untouched dick. He wanted that feeling of brief euphoria.

To entertain himself, he focused on the gasp you had on his hips. The strong, sturdy grasp, keeping him from bucking his dick up into nothing. You were touching him, just barely, but you were. Only a few inches away from the part of him that mattered…

God, is that really where he’s at now? Getting off to a meaningless touch to his hips? That’s pathetic, at least you’d tell him so. You’d tell him that if you were talking to him.

What was the last thing you said to him? He couldn’t remeber, fuzziness clouding his brain. But his attempt to make his orgasm draw closer was working, and it was helped when you turned the vibrator up one more notch.

He cried out desperately, “Oh god. Oh fuck, mommy—“ he gazed up at you with half open, tear ridden eyes, “Can I cum? Please, I’ve taken it— ssz—so good.”

You took this into consideration, remaining cold with your facial expressions. Vox takes a moment to appreciate your closeness, the feel of your breath, the warmth of your hands on his mid section. You were there, even if it didn’t feel like it.

Finally, you nod. Vox moans in celebration, squeezing his eyes shut and—thinking about your scent, your hands, your warmth— let’s go in a moment of pure pleasure.

He falls back against you, breathing heavily. His cock doesn’t wait to harden again, and his desperation for your touch grows stronger.

This time, he doesn’t have to start pleading.

“Good boy,” you coo, hands inching toward his crotch. Depraved and needy, he whines loudly at your words, mumbling soft ‘thank you’s.

Although you keep the vibrator on, your hands play with the bass of his cock, just grazing it. Vox cries loudly.

“Doesn’t feel nice being watched like that, huh?” He shakes his head no, “You want mommy to touch you now? Only if you learned your lesson baby—“

Although desperately needing to speak, he struggles to get the words out, “Zzch— Yes, mommy, please. I’ll be better. I won’t be bad anymore. Just please,” he babbles.

You shush him, taking his cock in your hand and drawing out a needy, watery moan, “Shush, baby, you’re okay now.”

At last, you begin stroking his aching, under stimulated dick.

“Mommy’s here.”

a/n — I so did not have to write a full fic for this what the fuck… bro I blacked out and the voices took over what the fuck.

[rallamajoop]

That time Heisenberg stabbed Ethan with a rusty fencepost

Thanks to this one fic project that needed a pornographically detailed list of Ethan’s most memorable injuries, I've spent some time trying to figure out exactly what Heisenberg stabs him with when they first met. Working mostly from a free-camera version from youtube, I settled on calling a metal pipe with a square profile.

Tumblr: I was wrong. The reality is so much worse.

Having cracked the game files and installed my own free-camera mod, I tracked down the original asset for this thing, and, well...

No, really, this is it! Check out those matching cross-bars if you doubt me.

FWIW, it isn’t actually a spear. Those semi-mangled crossbars flag it instead as a spear-headed fence-post. (This may not be a distinction that Ethan would find very comforting after being stabbed with the thing, but there it is, regardless.)

In fact, if you poke around the cemetery area just outside the castle gate, you can even find the fence it presumably came from.

Look in on the cemetery near the church from the lane leading up to the Duke's shop beside it, and this is what you'll see.

It's not a perfect match (in fact, it's even worse viewed from the opposite side, because someone has clearly stuffed up the textures on different sides of the same asset). I'll also note that if you go back to this fence again after meeting Heisenberg, you won’t find any suspicious gaps in it where a post was recently ripped out. So I’m going to just go ahead and assume this particular piece was lying in a pile of surplus scrap in the cellar somewhere, and Heisenberg did not, in fact, drag the thing all the way there from well outside the whole damn building. I mean, at that point, you’re just showing off.

The fence post is, admittedly, pretty hard to get a good look at in the actual game. Unlike all the other crap Heisenberg already has levitating around him in this scene, the fencepost doesn’t appear at all until Heisenberg stabs Ethan with it. It actually seems to emerge at speed from between a couple of barrels at the back. But if you’re enough of a lunatic to play around with the various slow motion/rewind settings that came with the free camera mod, you can get a decent shot of it in flight, cleaning up any remaining doubt that this is the same asset that was used in game.

It even freaking spins in the air as it moves. FTR, yes, it does go in pointy-end first. And the whole fucking spearhead ends up buried in poor Ethan. (Please feel free to insert your own dick-joke here.) Those paying really close attention might even note that the blood on Ethan's shirt is present even before the spear hits him, but that's just going to be virtual-stunt-coordination having a normal one.

I can offer you no similarly definitive insight into why Heisenberg would think stabbing Ethan with this thing was a good idea. I can’t even tell you if he knew for sure that it was Ethan Winters he was talking to at this point (maybe he's just playing dumb, pretending not to recognise him. Or maybe he legit didn't know that Ethan himself had made an appearance until Miranda told him. Sure, he's already got that whole conspiracy board, but finding real pictures of this Ethan-guy is surprisingly hard.) But whether Heis was already testing out Ethan’s ‘interesting body’, or whether he’d just generally assumed that anyone who could survive a full lycan assault on the village wouldn’t be too seriously inconvenienced by a little stabbing, hoo boy was this one way to make a first impression.

I’m not even sure which of these losers is the bigger idiot here: the one who imagined Ethan might still agree to work with him even after inserting a very convincing imitation-spearhead into his intestines, or the one who never thought to seriously question how he keeps shrugging off injuries just as exciting as this one.

They probably deserve each other.

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ slashers scenarios | first meeting

info;

♡ fandoms; The Boy, House of Wax, Halloween, Hannibal, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, slashers (general), DBD

♡ characters; Brahms Heelshire, Vincent Sinclair, Micheal Myers, Hannibal Lecter, Thomas Hewitt

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; mentions of blood/violence

The most random array of characters. All 5 are my bfs tho. Also this is written very very informally because it was originally just for myself lol.

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Brahms Heelshire//

> approximateplotofthe movie. jpeg

> honestly you mind your own business once you realize it’s a doll but assume there’s cameras so mostly behave

> you find yourself naturally coddling his doll like a real child when you’re bored, speaking to him constantly

> even though you’re not doing much to upset him, weird things do start happening around the house

> he mostly wants attention

> you leave a note one day

> “dear brahm’s ghost; i’m sorry if i’m not doing a good job as a nanny. i’m really trying my best. I hope we can be friends”

> he scribbles a smiley face on it and you’re a little freaked out / excited

> when he finally shows himself you’re really stunned. but it makes more sense than a genuine ghost

> you’re in such shock that you just. keep going with the evening and make dinner.

> but even once you come to your senses, you end up more sad than scared

> “…they left you all alone. I’m so sorry.”

> he gives you puppy eyes

> “…I won’t do that to you. I promise. I’m staying.”

> he’s even more in love with you than he first thought. even if you’re going to make him shower six times before bed.

> to his chagrin you don’t help him bathe

> but you do kiss him goodnight

Vincent Sinclair//

> bo brings you to him

> at first he’s making some big deal, “special delivery” and all that

> you’re cute

> really cute

> and bo clearly knew you’re the kind of person vincent would like

> but he’s still got a job to do

> damn it

> “h-hey- wait- i can help you—?”

> that makes him hesitate

> “i’m an artist too. i can help with the sculptures. “

> …

>“i’ll be good. promise.”

> he didn’t need much more convincing than that

> bo is surprised he kept you but makes damn sure you’re not escaping

> but you don’t even try because you just feel so deeply for vincent, and he’s so gentle

> you weren’t lying about being an artist so you’re genuinely helpful

> he falls madly in love when you help him resculpt his mask

Micheal Myers //

> Meet because you wrote letters to him

> Not to interview him or as an obsessive fan

> At first out of curiosity, then as a sort of way to vent, because he never responds

> But as it turns out your letters are the only ones he keeps or even opens at this point

> So his psychologist wants you to meet him to see if you can get him to open up- of course there’s a cash incentive

> He doesn’t say a word from the other side of the glass.

> Obviously.

> But you treat it like a normal visit to a friend and just chat mindlessly a while

> And you’re so much tinier and cuter in person

> He wants to stab you so much

> But realizes that if he killed you, he might miss you

> Ew that’s a scary thought

> Still wants to make you scream tho uwu

> He escapes

> Because he’s Micheal Myers that’s what he does

> After his spree he finds himself in your house, bloodsoaked and honestly not all that sure what he’ll do when he sees you

> You don’t even scream, just give a tiny ‘eep’

> “…Micheal?”

> He regrips his knife so he can get it over with. You’ll just tattle

> “Oh gosh- you’re soaked from the rain. And all that blood-let’s get you a shower? I can get you some fresh clothes too,”

> He’s staring down at you in disbelief

> “…what? You thought I’d try and call the cops? I like talking to you.”

> There’s something very wrong with you

> It’s kind of hot

> He puts him knife away and follows you

Hannibal Lecter//

> you’re his patient lol

> at first he doesn’t have much interest in you outside of work

> but god, you’d be such a perfect subject to manipulate with that little authority figure problem you have

> and even though you’re young

> you do recognize some of the finer things in life

> mostly his artwork and cooking. you’re really good at inadvertently stroking his ego

> he starts diving into darker subjects in therapy

> you’re a bit of a morbid person under the sunshine-y exterior

> perfect

> he’s still chipping away at something big you’re keeping from him

> he could do some digging online and through your files but where’s the fun in that

> he gets you tipsy and then starts with the psycho babble

> you finally crack

> you killed some guy that was stalking you years ago

> god that’s hot

> you liked it, at least a little bit

> even hotter

> you licked the blood off your hands and it tasted good

> he’s in love ; good luck leaving

Thomas Hewitt //

> car trouble! it’s always car trouble

> honestly when you rock up to the gas station alone Luda Mae is thinking that it’s a shame the fridge at home is already full

> but you’re the sweetest little customer

> “your name is really pretty ma’am. ever since i was little i decided if i had a daughter, her name would be Audrey Mae”

> new plan, she’s playing matchmaker

> there’s just something about you that’s so gentle

> and mildly off-putting, like the rest of the family

> she brings you out to the farm to see if they have the car parts you need

> and to stay the night, if you really need to

> you run smack dab into Thomas in his old half mask walking in- even Luda expects you to recoil at the least

> instead you turn a bit pink

> “oh gosh- I’m so so sorry sir-“

> Thomas stares at you

> You just shyly introduce yourself, talking enough for both of you

> Luda Mae is already planning the wedding

> “That’s my youngest Tommy- why don’t you show em around? Alright baby?”

> Thomas is a bit hesitant but you’re so little and cute and smell so good—

> He’s already obsessed oops

[pray4byron]

Hi 👋,

If you're still taking requests, I absolutely loved the most recent one you did with Lucifer, Adam and Vox proposing and marrying their s/o.

If possible could you do one similar to that but for Husk and Alastor?

If not, it's totally cool and I'm loving your work 😊

hellooo, dw i’m still taking requests haha, yeah i can do that for you!! the first part was undeniably fun to write so obviously i’ll do it again for ya haha

Warnings: None(?)

Alastor Proposal + Wedding Headcanons

Alastor never really knew what love truly felt like, until he met you, from that alone — he knew you were the one

His proposal was simple, but still very gentlemanly, his shadows were his band, playing some of your shared favorite songs, and Alastor stood in a different suit than the one he normally wears, a black version with a red streak instead of the white line that goes down the collar

He stood in the center of your room in the hotel, awaiting for you to get back from work, with a bouquet of spider lilies in his hands and a ring box in his pocket.

When you arrive, he has a soft and gentle smile on his face, in contrast to the big grin he usually shows, he didn’t feel vulnerable or at risk with you, so he could wind down with you

He hands you the bouquet and gets down on one knee, taking your ring out of the box, holding it to you, as his other hand takes yours in his and kisses the back of it

“My dearest and truest love, you have made me feel more alive than I ever have, even in my years on Earth.” He started, his radio affect softer than you’ve ever heard it, it’s unlike him, given he usually has a more cheery tone.

“You have showed me what love truly feels like, what in feels like in here —” He said, putting a hand to his heart, “That being said, would you make me the happiest man in Hell and be my lawfully wedded spouse?”

You and Alastor have a wedding almost immediately, thanks to his magic staff.

The ceremony is like any other, other than the fact your soon-to-be husband has a massive fucking grin on his face that did not falter the whole time, other than when you came down the isle, and it seemed to inch up his face more.

When it came to the kiss, he does turn you both around as he does not enjoy displaying affection infront of others, but he also won’t break tradition, so…

The reception is nowhere near boring, he knows how to have a good time, there’s excitable jazz music that has a good chunk of guests swaying and moving their feet

He also may or may not freak out some family members of yours…but that’s okay!

He also does not wish to be in wedding photos, due to his opinions on modern cameras and tech, but will for you, and either way, he knows his grin fucks up the photos in contrast to your beauty so he doesn’t really see the point tbh — but he’ll most likely make you guys use an old camera for effect

Husk Proposal + Wedding

Headcanons

Husk genuinely did not care to get married, well, he would be fine if you did, but he was content the way you both were, but he knew how much of a romantic you were so…

Quite frankly, he probably had the laziest proposal out of everyone I’ve written for for this, while you guys were laying in bed, bitch asked you if you would ever wanna get married and proceeded to basically chuck the ring box at you.

You and Husk were in your shared bed. It was late, you were just about to doze off for the night, until you heard Husk’s gruff voice pipe up.

“I have a question for ya.” He said, staring at the ceiling with you on his furry chest. “And that is?” you ask, popping your head up in curiosity,

“Would you ever wanna get married?” He asked, looking down at you, a soft and subtle smirked played on his lips. “Oh!- Uh, probably!” You answered, a bit thrown off by the question.

“‘Kay, great.” Husk muttered, plopping the ring box in between you two. “Husk, what the fu-”

Yeah before you could finish he was already asleep 😛

Husk mainly leaves wedding planning to you, not cause he’s a dick, but it’s just not his thing, he will help out when need be though

At the ceremony, Husk is holding back a couple tears, only a few though!

He never saw himself as the sentimental type, and he knows he didn’t really have the desire to do this in the first place, but now? He knows he made the right choice, even if it was at 2 in the morning.

The reception is chill, it’s kinda just sitting around and chatting, and yes there’s a bar, and Husk is pissed he can’t work it.

There’s chill jazz music in the back, but it’s not like Alastor’s where it had people swaying, it was more soothing, and it wasn’t like Adam’s where people were absolutely bopping to music either

You guys still don’t know if you’re having a honeymoon, Husk is still way too tired and way too hungover to make that decision.

[laundrybiscuits]

Eddie’s doing some dumb trick with a couple of wooden spoons, clever hands making them move through the air in improbable ways, and Steve’s about to bite his whisk in half. 

He’d thought for sure that Eddie would be going home the first week; Edward Munson, 29, bartender/musician from Brighton with mismatched tattoos and wild hair, seemed like exactly the kind of pretentious asshole who would flame out early with some ill-advised hipster experimentation. If Steve (28, social worker from Indiana, USA) had been a complete asshole, he’d have said that Eddie didn’t have the fundamentals. That he was all sizzle, no steak. 

It’s a good thing Steve’s not a complete asshole, because Eddie’s been blowing the technicals out of the water so consistently it’s actually pretty fucking embarrassing. His signatures and showstoppers are making a very respectable showing too, except for the time he tried to incorporate some fresh pandan extract and fucked up the liquid ratio, leaving him with a dripping mess that Mary’d declined to even try. 

Afterwards, Steve had seen him leaning against a tree and struggling to light a cigarette. Steve went over for no particular reason, flicking on his lighter and holding it out like a peace offering. Eddie looked at him warily, but bent over the offered flame. 

“Can’t believe I made it through this one,” Eddie said after a moment, white smoke curling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I feel like that every week.” Steve leaned against the tree next to Eddie. It was a big tree, the kind that’s probably been growing in this field since before England was even England. 

“Nah, but—c’mon, you know what I mean.”

“You had some bad luck with your showstopper. Happens to the best of us, man. Your signature hand pies looked sick as hell.” Steve’s own hand pies had turned out pretty well, so he was feeling generous. It had only been the third week; plenty of time for Steve to snag Star Baker, though even by that point, Steve had been getting the creeping feeling that he was being a little too American about the whole thing. Everyone else seemed to think competitiveness was some kind of deadly sin. It was—actually kind of nice, to get the same kind of nerves he’d always gotten before high school basketball games, but know that he wasn’t really fighting against anyone except himself in the tent.

Anyway, the very next week, Eddie had done some kind of kickass gothic castle with a shiny chocolate dragon and gotten Star Baker for the second time. Steve had clapped him on the back, appropriately manly. Eddie had pulled Steve into a real hug, arms tight around Steve’s shoulders and his whole lean body pressed up close and warm. It had only lasted a moment, and then Eddie had bounded over to Mel and Sue, both of whom he’s been thoroughly charming since the get-go. 

Steve thinks that when this season—or, uh, series—airs, no matter where Eddie places, the entire country is going to be just as charmed. Eddie’s going to get whatever kind of cookbook deal or streaming show he wants. Sponsors will take one look at that handsome face and charismatic grin, and a whole world of possibilities is going to open up for Eddie. 

Steve’s not in it for any of that, of course. He’s here kind of by accident, because Robin pushed him to apply, and it’s a goddamn miracle he’s been holding his own. Hell, it’s a miracle he’s in this country at all. When Robin had started looking at the Cambridge MPhil program in linguistics, she’d said wouldn’t it be great if and he’d snorted, yeah right, like I could ever get whatever job I’d need to move to another freaking country, but then—well. Things had happened the way they’d happened, and now Robin’s almost finished with her degree and Steve is taking time off from the London charity he works at in order to be on Bake Off. 

He’s told all this to the cameras, plus the stuff about how baking started as a way for him to connect with the kids he used to babysit in Indiana, blah blah blah. He thinks it’s probably too boring for them to air, but he gets that they have to try to get a story anyway. 

Eddie Munson, on the other hand, is probably going to be featured in all the series promos. Steve is rabidly curious about what Eddie’s story is, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to just ask. It should be the easiest thing in the world. They’ve got kind of a camaraderie going, the two of them; a bit of a bromance, as Mel’s put it more than once. 

It’s true they get along pretty well, and the cameras have been picking up on it: on the way Eddie’ll wander over to Steve’s bench like a stray cat whenever they get some downtime, how they wind up horsing around sometimes, working off leftover adrenaline from the frantic rush of caramelization or whatever. There’s the time Eddie had hopped up on a stool to deliver some kind of speech from Macbeth, of all things, and overbalanced right onto Steve, who had barely managed to keep them both from careening into a stand mixer. Sue had patted Eddie on the shoulder and said, “Well, boys, that’ll be going in the episode for sure.”

They both get along with the other contestants just fine, of course, but they’re two guys of about the same age with no wife and kids waiting at home. It’s only natural that they’re gravitating together, becoming something like friends, Steve figures. It’s pretty great that he’s getting at least one real friend out of this whole thing.

It would be even greater if Steve could stop thinking about Eddie’s hands in decidedly non-friendly ways. With all the paperwork he’s signed, he can’t even complain to Robin about how Eddie looks with his sleeves pushed up to show off the tattoos on his forearms, kneading dough and grunting a little under his breath with effort. Steve had almost forgotten to pre-heat his oven that day. 

Two benches away, Eddie fumbles the spoons he’s been juggling with a clatter, and he bursts out laughing, glancing over at Steve like Steve’s in on the joke. Steve grins back, heart twanging painfully in his chest, and thinks: well, fuck. Guess this is happening.

[strangerthingssteddiebrainrot]

A little ficlet I was just inspired to write at 1am lol

Listen

Despite dating a rockstar, Steve was a pretty private person. Whenever he went with Eddie and the boys on tour, he'd wear sunglasses regardless of the actual weather conditions. Sometimes even a hat if he was really done with nosy reporters trying to figure out what his connection to Corroded Coffins lead singer was.

But it's been a long time since '89 when the band first took off and in the glorious year of 1999 they were finally outed by a reporter disguised as a waiter at the restaurant they were eating at and got a picture of them kissing if the corner of the private booth they were hiding in. Sales and the band's popularity took a hit sure, but so many new fans, freaks and outcasts and people just like them filled the void that they actually bounced back with more popularity than ever before. So Eddie and Steve agreed to do an interview on a daytime talk show, set the record straight and talk about themselves and their relationship openly for the first time. They talked about how high school cliques nearly kept them apart, but the spring break of '86, for all its tragedy and death and near death, brought them together and they worked hard to stay together. A true love story if there ever was one. It was freeing actually, finally being able to be open and Out, and if their love helped people, that was just a bonus.

Which is how no one, not even Eddie or the band knew about Steve's voice. He'd never been a singer, too insecure and beaten down to trust that he was actually good at something besides swinging a bat (and an ax, and Molotov cocktails). It was something he was working on, but change doesn't happen overnight and even now, in his early thirties, he still had never revealed his hidden talent to anyone other than Robin. And like, it's not like she ever said anything either! They sang sometimes back when they lived in each other's back pocket and she never said he was good, so he just assumed he was not terrible! Maybe the fact that she had a crush on Tammy Thompson and her 'muppet giving birth' singing should have been a clue. Steve just thought love made you blind.

So when, during the encore performance of Corroded Coffins latest show, Eddie gestures to him to come on stage, Steve tried to refuse at first. He waved him off laughing, but Eddie was persistent and the crowd caught on, chanting his name to come onstage. So he gave in, and god did he stick out like a sore thumb, light washed Levi's with a navy Henley, glasses on cause he had a migraine the day before from squinting at everything, it the crowd still cheered when he appeared, Eddie smiled at him all dimples and the guys gave an exaggerated slow clap at finally getting him onstage.

Eddie took his hand, the other one still holding his mike, and the band started up a cover of Tainted Love, one of the few songs that both Eddie and Steve agreed kicked ass. Maybe the lyrics didn't really reflect how they feel for each other, but watching Eddie sing to Steve, there was no doubt the man was very much in love. And when he held up the mike to Steve on the second chorus, Steve couldn't help but sing.

And oh, how Eddie's face dropped into open mouth shock, Steve had to catch his hand to keep the mike level. A quick glance showed the rest of the boys looked just as shocked, the music only continuing by pure muscle memory. Steve almost stopped singing, panicked that he was ruining the show with his voice, but the crowd was going wild and he could see the cameras flashing, and Eddie, Eddie was coming in close, the chorus over and he leaned in to Steve's ear and shouted, "don't stop!" So he didn't. And they finished the song together and thank god it was the last song in their set. So when Eddie pulled away and gave his goodbye with the rest of the band, Steve quickly walked offstage and headed to the green room, heart pounding a mile a minute.

It wasn't too long before the rest of the band piled in, and Eddie ran right to him, grabbing his face and kissing him hard.

Finally pulling away after too short a time, Eddie beamed at him. "How the fuck did I not know that you can sing?!"

Mind still a little scrambled from the kiss, Steve took a moment to answer. "Huh?"

Not the most eloquent, but he was still reeling from the loss of those lips against his own.

"Yeah man, when Ed said he was gonna pull you on stage, not gonna lie, I thought you were gonna sound awful." Garath said, earning a smack on the head from Jeff and Martin (unnamed freak).

"Not how I would've put it, but, I thought there was a reason you never sang with us before. So yeah, that was an unexpected surprise." Jeff smoothed over, knowing that so sometimes Steve's insecurities got the better if him, having mediated several fights between him and Eddie in the past.

"Holy shit baby, you were so good! I almost didn't remember to sing cause I was too busy falling even more in love with the most perfect man on earth!" Eddie gushed, gently shaking Steve by his shoulders.

"Cute, but also, get a room guys." Martin laughed. "But seriously Steve, you have a good voice. I don't know why we've been hiring background singers for some of our songs when we could've just had you do it instead."

"Oh, well, I-I don't know. I never thought I was a good singer yeah? Not for like, performing? I just wanted to kinda, ride the high of tonight, if that makes sense." Steve said, blushing and a little overwhelmed at the attention, but trying to embrace it and take the genuine compliments he was getting (something he struggled to do on a daily basis, neglectful parents having left their mark).

"First of all, bite me Martin," throwing his band mate the finger, Eddie was still beaming which softened the blow, the others laughing at him. "and second, Stevie, baby, you sound amazing! Light, but still raspy and sexy as hell." Giving him a peck on the cheek, Eddie whispered in his ear. "Gonna sing for me later big boy? In bed maybe?"

And what could Steve say to that? So he just pulled Eddie in for more kisses, deepening them regardless of the guys complaining.

The next day, the picture that was making waves in the music community was of Steve singing into the mike, Eddie looking at him with starts in his eyes and his face completely lovestruck.

@steddieassheg0es @oakenorcrist

[holder-of-saturn]

the Vee's with an acrobatic person

summary: What the Vee's do, think, see with an acrobatic person on the V team

GN!Reader, this was thought out to be platonic

Word count: 1,162

warnings: Val, a bit suggestive (?), Val grabbing/touching you, mentions of Vals work, mostly just Val

Vox

it's definitely new. he's not used to walking into a person on the floor in a handstand and the splits, or hanging from the ceiling. you can do some interesting stuff, he's kind freaked out but finds it quite intriguing. Can get how some people are practically hypnotized by it, and that also plays in how you got in the team.

He saw one of your shows or something of you and got interested, and when he asked Velvette who you were, he found out you were quite popular, and powerful. He looked through his cameras and while he was stalking you, he found out more about you, and decided that if he could get the other Vee's on it, you could be a part of their team

when you first got used to working with the vee's it was weird, y'all are all different. Vox got used to you relatively quickly, and he would come visit you sometimes, mostly because of work and making sure you aren't doing things he doesn't want you too of course, but mostly using his cameras for that.

he probably thinks it hurts you most of the time, when you're stretching your body out and stuff, and thinks you're going to fall from the fabric you hang on. When he does think that he doesn't do anything about it, he just kind of looks away when your stretching, but if you're on the fabric he watches just to see if you fall. when and if you do fall, he will definitely laugh at you and probably won't ask if you're okay, most likely just going back to whatever he was saying after a bit.

if you walk around like on your hands and do tricks and stuff he finds it entertaining just to watch and go by, but tells you not to do it when important things are happening because of the image. mostly ignores you other than when he needs to.

Valentino

He's pretty used to it, he sees flexible people all day. Not all of them are like you though, that's why he likes you, and finds you interesting and a bit of a new thing to play with. So when he finds you doing your acrobatic stuff, he likes it and always watches it. You basically hypnotize him with it. Once he knew you a bit, he really wanted you on the team.

He was listening to Vox and Vel talking about you, and Vel showing photos of you. He wanted to be a part of this too, and see what got them so interested in someone like you. Once he saw the clips and photos he was interested too, very interested. He even asked one of his assistants to look you up to see if you have ever done something like he does, even if you haven't, he's still going to show you too it and offer you a job. he would be a fool not to try to get you in this business.

At first he was being chill about it, still talking to you and getting in your space but, not doing anything too weird, at least not for a bit. He got used to you quickly and showed you around his studio, and some of his sets. He also told you to come watch as he directed, he would keep asking you to come with him. He also wanted to show you off a bit, show how flexible and nice, and cute you are. After a while of that he asked you to go onto one of the sets, and then to work for him, and tried to persuade you that it would be good for you and the Vee's.

He finds it attractive when you stretch or hang and spin and stuff like that, and thinks you would be good on a pole... He likes watching you do your thing, sometimes filming you, but mostly just thinks that you would be a wonderful asset to his business, and to him. He really wants to get his hands on you to be honest, and he will sometimes grab you and touch your hips and stuff. If/when you get hurt or fall or something he immediately goes over to you and acts all sweet. if he's mad at you though he will just ignore you not even looking when you do something.

Likes when you walk around and do tricks, gives his day a bit of funniness in a way, and obviously he likes to show you off. He doesn't like it when you are doing something like that while he's trying to be serious. He does think you're good for his image though.

Velvette

She enjoys something new every once in a while, she likes the new thing that you bring to the group, and likes walking in on you doing your stuff, and the show you always put on. Whether you know it or not she loves that you joined the group. and is kind of hypnotized herself with it, at least she gives you more attention than the other Vee's.

When Vox asked who you were, she looked you up and was surprised at how popular you were and how good you were. And even looked you up after he told her too, also might've made a post or more about you. She also was pretty much stalking your account. When her and Vox were talking about it, she was pretty happy thinking about you joining the team.

She was used to you quicky, mostly because she's like that with really everyone. First thing she did was take you to her studio and pick you out an outfit. After that she showed you around and told you how she wanted things. She would visit you often, mostly to gossip and talk about drama and things.

She thinks what you do is actually quite impressive. She watches you from her phone, so shell look every few minutes. Most likely also taking photos of you too. She likes just seeing you do it, and it gets her views. She does think it hurts sometimes but doesn't question it. when you're hanging on the fabric she waits to hear if you fall, and when/if you do, she just looks up and if she sees that you might be hurt see might ask if she's feeling nice. If she's mad at you she won't acknowledge you at all, or will laugh at you.

If you do go walking around doing your tricks, she just films you and look at you for a second. She does like that she basically just has a way to get more likes in the moment, she doesn't mind usually, but when she wants you to not do it is mostly when she's mad and trying to be serious. Also finds it a bit funny how you just go around like that.

Extra: Velvette was designing outfits for you, but she didn't take into account that you need them to be flexible. that might be a change, but nothing she can't handle of course.

Hopefully I didn't miss anything I needed to add but tell me if I did (like tags) Also, Vel's part came to me easier than Vox or Val for some reason...

[talaok]

Love your writing!!!! I’m obsessed! Can you do one where a mutual friend sets Pedro and (y/n) on a blind date? Xoxo

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

a/n: thank you love, and thank you for the really cute request💗💗

Why did I agree to this?

This is not like me. Not even close to how I am.

I don't go on blind dates, I don't even have Tinder for fucks sake, that's how much I don't like hanging out with strangers.

It had taken Julie a whole night and more drinks than you'd like (or could) remember to make you agree to this, and as soon as you woke up the next morning, regret had settled into your chest like a fucking life sentence, but as much as you would have loved to call your friend up and tell her how much of a mistake you had made, a part of you couldn't help but wonder how bad could it really be.

It had been a while since you'd been on a date, and from what Julie had said, this Pedro looked like a nice enough guy, so you had taken the downright mental decision to not tell her you'd changed your mind, decision that, as you walked into the restaurant, you were starting to really regret.

he waved at you as you entered, and as you walked closer and he stood up from the table, a part of that regret couldn't help but shimmer out of your mind.

He was... handsome.

The photos Julie had shown you didn't do him any justice.

"hi" you smiled nervously "I'm y/n" you said, shaking his hand

"I'm Pedro, it's nice to meet you"

He had a nice smile, very comforting and very much matching yours in terms of nervousness.

It had been a while for him too.

And the photos Julie had shown him definitely didn't do you justice either.

He had never been good at talking to such beautiful women.

"nice to meet you too," you said, sitting down opposite to him.

"so" he cleared his throat after a few moments of embarrassing silence "umh- How are you?"

A smile pulled at your lips "I'm good, thank you" you nodded "what about you?"

"oh I'm- I'm nervous" he let out a small chukle, making you laugh softly.

"yeah, me too" you said "It's been a while"

"yeah, for me too" he confessed "and you are... well you're very beautiful, so you're not making things easier for me"

A soft blush crept up your cheeks but you managed to chukle nonetheless.

"Well I'm sorry, I'll go into the bathroom and take off some of my makeup if that'll help"

He laughed at that "No, no I don't think that will be necessary, but thank you for offering"

"anytime" you joked

"So umh, Julie told me you're a writer"

"Yup, that's me" you smiled

"That's incredible"

"Oh c'mon you're an actor, now that's incredible" You raised an eyebrow

"Oh no no, I just repeat stuff that's been written for me in front of a camera, you create whole stories from your imagination" he debated "That's far more impressive"

You rolled your eyes playfully, as your smile got only wider.

"You're a real flatterer you know that Pedro?"

"Who, me?" he grinned, putting a hand on his chest at the accusation "I'm just speaking the facts" he spoke, making you huff a laugh "so what do you write about?"

"all sorts of things, I don't really have a genre" you explained "I've written sad stuff, romantic stuff, creepy stuff..." you shrugged "It mostly depends on my mood"

"that's nice" he nodded,

"and what about you, are you working on something right now?" you asked

"I've just been cast in a tv-show"

"really? What show, if I may ask"

"Oh it's umh- It's the Mandalorian, it's in the Star Wars universe"

"oh my god" your eyes widened in surprise "You're joking right?"

"nope" he smiled "yeah trust me, I was pretty freaked out myself"

"Oh my god" you breathed, "I think I need a moment to take this in"

"I take it you like Star Wars?"

"like?" you laughed "I've grown up watching Star Wars, My brother and I know every single line to The Return of the Jedi, I-" you stopped yourself "I think I just fell in love with you Pedro, I think we ought to get married as soon as possible"

"Well that was easy" he chuckled

"How are you not freaking out?" you asked, watching him as if he were an alien doing cartwheels

"I think you're doing enough of that for the both of us" he joked

"Yeah I really am, aren't I?" you smiled, coming back down to earth a little bit "it's just- that's crazy. I'm- I'm really happy for you"

"Thank you" he flashed you a smile, and that's when you noticed that it wasn't only his smile that was comforting, but his eyes too, they were so incredibly... expressive.

The rest of the dinner went by so smoothly you completely forgot you hadn't known this man your whole life, but in fact, just met him two hours ago.

"Well, I... I had a really great time y/n" he smiled, looking nervous again all of a sudden as you stopped in front of your car. 

"Me too" you grinned 

"So, since I have your number..." he cleared his throat "I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind me calling you sometime soon, to umh- to maybe do this again?"

Your heart started beating a little bit faster

"I'd love that Pedro"

"Oh thank God" he let out a sigh of relief

"You were nervous I'd say no?" you asked, doing a poor job of hiding your shock

"well... yeah"

"I proposed to you during the first five minutes of this date, of course I want to see you again" you laughed

"well I suppose that's true" he chuckled, letting his eyes take you in one last time "So umh, have a good night" he said " I can't wait to see you again"

"me either" you beamed "have a good night Pedro"

And as you watched him walk away, you couldn't help but smile up at the sky.

Thank god I didn't call Julie back

[scented-morker]

Enha when 8th member s/o has a stage accident

8th member au, gn reader (mentions a dress in hee’s part), mentions of electrocution in jw + rk’s, requested!!, 1345 words not proofread

Heeseung

He was internally screaming as soon as he saw you getting ready

You guys always like to give each other fashion shows of your outfits before performing

Like "babe look!" And then strut strut strut pose "slay me!!" 😆😆

But he knew immediately that you did not feel very slayful in your outfit

You were literally yanking it down after every step you took because it was already short and just kept riding up

You give him a "What do you think? 😕"

And he's like "I think you would look really good in a pair of pants 😁"

But the stylists don't have anything else so you have to go out in it

He keeps giving you nervous looks from across the stage

Anytime he crosses in front of you or anything he tries to cover you up or block the camera so you can readjust

Literally texts THE FREAKING CEO like "I'm concerned about the outfits given to yn, she can't perform her best while being so clearly uncomfortable"

"I'm concerned about the entire world realizing you're in love with her, but I guess I can talk to the styling staff 🤷🏻‍♀️"

OKAY BANG PD CALL HIM OUT ON THE SIMPERY LIKE THAT

But you never get an uncomfortably short outfit again... Heelift indeed 😌

Jay

Someone did not think this through 😭

You're doing your killing part in one of the songs on music bank

So obviously the camera guy gets closer to zoom in on you (werk👏👏)

BUT THEN he immediately moves to camera above your head to find Sunghoon and just WALKS INTO YOUR FACE

Ik y'all have seen that wonyo fancam... that's what I'm talking about

You literally make the most horrified face bc THIS MANS CROCH IS IN YOUR FACE

Screw professionalism, you're traumatized 😀

But man jays face is WORSE 😭😭

He's SO MAD like angry eyebrows and everything bc YOU JUST GOT VIOLATED ON LIVE TELEVISION

Walks up to you in the middle of the performance and checks on you

"Are you okay? 🥺"

You're like "yeah, talk after" and go back to performing

At the end when you drop down to a similar pose he goes in front of you 😭😭

It's fine because it wasn't your ending fairy but everyone is on Twitter like "he protects them so well 😭"

He rly does 🫶🫶 and starts a petition to at least get female camera operators next time

Jake

You guys were performing at a festival in the rain (wow so safe)

And everyone has talked before hand about being extra careful so you didn't slip

But it was such a big crowd!!! And it was your favorite song!!!

So you maybe went a little bit harder than you should have 🫣

... and fell on your face mid performance

I'm sorry but he laughs 😭😭

Like he sees you down out of the corner of his eye

Just 💃🕳 and then nothing

You give him such a dirty look when he laughs bc "YOURE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME STOP LAUGHING!!"

So ofc he runs over after and helps you up + gives you a big hug ❤️❤️

"I'm sorry, you just looked so funny!!"

So you smack him again of course because "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK FUNNY" 😠

But he kisses your boo boo scraped knees (which of course everyone LOSES IT watching) and looks up at you with a smirk 😫😫

I CANT 😵‍💫

Sunghoon

You pretty much always had to wear heels to perform because you were so much shorter than the boys

But today man you had some BIG STOMPERS ON

Like platforms and big heels, the whole thing

And at first Hoon just laughs at you 😭😭

"You really need all that extra height?" Then he stands next to you and realizes you're still not as tall as him "and it doesn't even work!!" 😆😆

He's having the time of his life until you smack him (except he makes you kiss him after so still a win for him honestly)

But then once you guys are performing he notices that you're not moving your legs as freely as usual 🤔 (we love an observant partner <33)

He gives you a 🤷🏻‍♀️ from across the stage and you mouth back "heavy... and too big"

It's a concert and not a like show performance so he just walks over and TAKES YOUR SHOES OFF 😭😭

Like, bends down, unlaces them, takes them off and sets them by the side of the stage

You're like wow he's so sweet omg 😆 but then he goes "now you're short again" with the biggest smile and then runs away

So much for that... enjoy your sock performance 😻

Sunoo

Honestly it was really bad for you but kinda good for him 😭

You guys were performing at a fan meeting and they were gonna shoot like fireworks out at the end !!

And everyone knew it, but you were in the bathroom when they told everyone the specifics 🫣

So you were out just like casually performing, not really doing all of the choreo

More so just singing and running back and forth on the stage to say hi to everyone 🫶

But then the fireworks shootout 😭 and you were literally RIGHT NEXT TO THEM

And you’re so freaked out and they were so close and loud and you fall on your butt 😁

And the boys don’t realize it at first because they’re interacting with fans

But when you fall the whole crowd gasps 😭😭 and they’re like ????

And then Sunoo sees you on the floor half crawling away from the fireworks THAT ARE STILL SHOOTING OUT

He feels bad but he also thinks it’s really cute (😒)

But of course he helps you up 😁

And then he drags you around with him for the rest of the time

Like no you aren’t allowed to go anywhere by yourself anymore, he is holding your hand and you are going TOGETHER

Jungwon

Listen he is MAD

Like Leader Won was on high alert all day because it's been storming on and off

He was worried someone was gonna slip

But it was 10x worse 😭

You had turned your head to do a part of the choreo and some of the rain water got into your in ear

LITERALLY ELECTROCUTED YOU

It's giving Benjamin Franklin sunbaenim 😻😻

You were center for that part so all of the boys just saw you jump from the shock and then fall into a crouch covering your ears

He is IMMEDIATELY on it, running up to you and taking them out of your ears and escorting you off stage

He lowkey yells at the staff (🫣) bc "the performance should have been cancelled and now Yn's hurt!"

He doesn't want to leave you, but he has to go finish the rest of the performance

But once you're back home, he's not leaving your side

Chilling in a dark room with soft music playing so your ears don't hurt 🫶🫶

He's trending for like a week because of how scary he was 😭

Riki

Riki is the opposite of Jungwon 😭

Like he was having the time of his life performing and then he sees you drop and goes through all five stages of grief at the same time

Runs over "are you okay?!"

Except he yelled and you just got YOUR EARS ELECTROCUTED so you clutch your ears tighter bc it hurt

Once he sees you crying ITS OVER

Literally picks you up and takes you backstage, yelling to any staff in a thirty foot radius that he needs help ☹️

They lay you down in a stretcher and take you out to make sure you don't have like permanent ear drum damage or anything and he's just standing there like 😨

He has no idea what to do with himself

"Can I go with them? Please please please?"

So they let him of course bc he's cute and he WILL NOT let go of your hand for the entire time you're being treated until you're back in the dorms laid on his bed 🥹

He’s so clingy for like a week after because he was just so scared and he never wants to be away from you ☹️

[carionto]

This has probably been transcribed before but I don't know what tags to find it under, so imma just do it again cuz this kind of stuff feels very relevant to know, more evidence that Humans are weird as fuck and our brains just make shit up. [Twitter thread by user named foone as a long image I stumbled upon on Pinterest]: _______________________________

You want to know something about how bullshit our brains are? OK, so there's a physical problem with out eyes: We move them in short fast bursts called "saccades", right? very quick, synchronized movements. The only problem is: they go all blurry and useless during this

Having your vision turn into a blurry mess every time you move your eyes is obviously not a good idea, so our brains hide it from us. Now imagine you're an engineer and you have this problem

You've got some obvious solutions you could do.

make the vision go black during movement. (Some VR games do this!)

just keep showing the last thing we saw prior to movement

Both are good options with different downsides, but OH NO. this is assuming everything makes sense and is chronological and (regular) logical.

Your brain does neither of these options, really.

First, it basically puts your visual system on "pause".

You're not seeing blackness or even nothing, you're just not seeing period.

then when you finish your saccade, it shows you what you now see at the new position. and then it pretends it can time travel.

It seriously shows you the image at the new point, but time-shifts it backwards so that it seems like you were seeing it the whole time your eyes were moving.

And because your brain is not a computer with a consistent clock, this shit works.

You can see this effect happen if you watch an analog clock with a second hand.

Look away (with just your eyes, not your head), then look back to the second hand.

It'll seem like it takes longer than a second to move, then resumes moving as normal.

That's because your freaking visual system just lied to you about HOW LONG TIME IS in order to cover up the physical limitations of those chemical camera orbs you have on the front of your face.

We've known about this effect for over 100 years, it's called "Saccadic masking" and more specifically Chronostasis. Your visual system lies to you about WHEN things happen by up to half a second (!) just to avoid saccades blurring everything.

So while I firmly believe we're basically just overgrown biological computers, we're apparently computers programmed by batshit insane drunkards in Visual Basic 5.

And you might think "hey wait, wouldn't my vision 'pausing' for half a second have all kinds of weird effects on moving objects? why don't they appear to stutter when moving?"

and the answer is simple! your brain has EVEN MORE UGLY HACKS on top of this to avoid you seeing that

If you've got a clock where the second hand doesn't "tick" but instead smoothly rotates, you won't see this. Because your brain recognizes it's moving and adjusts what you see to make sure it sees the "right" thing.

It's only really obvious with periodically moving things like a clock hand, because it's not moving (so not triggering the movement-during-chronostasis hack) but it moves at a set rate, so you can notive that rate appearing to change.

It's tempting to think of your eyes and visual system as a camera just dumping a video feed into your conscious brain but taht's so very, very not the case. What you think you see and what your eyes can actually see are two exceptionally different things.

The big obvious one being the blind spot. Vertebrate eyes are wired backwards so we've got a blind spot in each eye where the enrves enter into the eye. About 6 degrees of your vision in each eye is just not there, as there's no light sensitive cells there.

Do you see a blind spot, right now? No, you probably don't. Close one eye! There's now no way for the other eye to fill in the gaps. Still, no blind spot… Your visual system is lying, and making up content it thinks is there. You literally cannot see what you think you see.

Here's another one: You can see in color, right? (well, some of you can't. Sorry) You can see in color all throughout your vision, it's color everywhere?

Well, most of the cone cells (Which are sensitive to color) are in the fovea, a little spot in the center of your vision.

So outside of that center-of-vision spot, you have very little color perception. There's some but it's very limited compared to your main color vision. But I bet if you shift your attention to your peripheral vision right now, it's in color.

Your vision system is lying. It's remembering what colors things are and guessing and filling in the gaps. It's basically doing a Ted Turner colorization process on your non-central vision.

There's even weird effects like what's called "Action-specific perception". If you get a bunch of white balls of various sizes and toss them at people then ask them to estimate the size of the balls thrown at them, they'll have a certain size estimate, right?

Now repeat the experiment but ask them to try to hit the balls back with a bat, and suddenly all the estimates shift larger. They actually see the ball as bigger because they need to hit it. Their vision is exaggerating it to make it easier to see!

Which just goes to show, like I said, your vision is not a camera. Perfect accuracy is not one of its goals. It does not give any shits about "objective reality", that's not important.

What's important to the evolution of the visual system is any trick that helps you survive, no matter how "dumb" or "weird" it is.

So if you want an accurate visual representation of what things look like? Use a camera. Not your eyes.

In any case the original point was that while you might know this about your eyes being poor cameras that lie to you, you might still think that at least they're consistent, time-wise. They don't screw with your sense of time passing, just to make up for visual defects. NOPE!

If you can't get it don in time, turn back the clock and pretend you did. That's a perfectly good solution when you're the visual system.

BTW @/hierarchon reminded me of a neat trick with saccadic masking: go look in a hand mirror. No matter how close you bring it to your eyes, and how much you look around, you will never see your eyes move. You're blind during those movements. But you still think you are seeing.

She additionally pointed out that your phone's selfie-mode is NOT a mirror, and it has a slight delaye, so you can see your eyes moving in it.

And for fun, here's wikipedia's example of the blindspot. Stare at L with only your left eye, adjust the distance, and the R will disappear. You don't see "nothing" or "black", you see the background, because you expect to.

This is why laser damage your retina can be so insidious. Your visual system already can hide "holes" in your vision, what's one more to hid? So you damage a small spot of your retina and your visual system covers it up.

But since you didn't go "WELL THAT WAS TERRIBLE I BETTER TAKE BETTER CARE OF MY EYES" and stop fucking with lasers, you keep doing it. Eventually you accumulate so much damage that your visual system simply cannot manage hiding it all and your vision rapidly degrades.

The other reason lasers are so dangerous is that they don't necessarily trigger the same responses as regular incoherent light. Your pupil reflex is only triggered by some special cells in the center of your eye, so an off-center laser might not cause your iris to contract.

And infrared laser light is just as dangerous as visible laser light, but can't trigger your blink reflex. Your eyes automatically close when exposed to bright light, but they can't detect infrared light. Despite not seeing it, it still causes damage.

Anyway, back on how amazing and crazy your vision is: There was an experiment back in 1890 where someone wore glasses made with mirrors in them to flip their vision. After about 8 days, they could see just fine with them on. Their vision system had started "flipping" the image.

(I say flipping in quotes because it's not as simple as it started showing the pixels at the top row on the bottom row, cause our vision doesn't work like that) It only took them a few hours to get back to normal after taking these glasses off, though.

The last really fun part about this flipping experiment: your eyes already do it. Based on how our vision is wired, we should be seeing everything upside down.

We don't, but only because our visual system has had a whole life to adapt to this.

BTW, since a few people have brought it up: There's a great sci-fi novel by Peter Watts called Blindsight. In it humans encounter an an alien race they call Scramblers, who can move very fast and precisely, and they exploit saccades.

Because if they only move during saccades, we never see them moving. And since so much of our vision is based on just filling in what we think is there, if they stay out of the direct center of our vision, we'll just visually fill them in, like they were never there.

Check it out if you're into hard SF stories of first contact. It's got some really neat ideas about human vision, very unique aliens, the future of humanity in the face of perfect VR, and vampires. (Really, it has "vampires", while still being hard-SF)

BTW, remember how I said "vertebrate eyes" up there? Guess who has eyes which are wired forwards instead of backwards (have no blindspot), have an internal lens, and can even see polarization of light? Our good friends the Cephalopods!

[najenvhs]

how do you think jaemin would treat their partner?

WHERE DO I BEGIN (also perfect timing because these photos dropped and its all i can think about ㅠㅠ)

☆ na jaemin would be THE BEST partner ever i know it, i can count on it! [AHHHH] he’s just so thoughtful and caring and really thinks before he does.

i feel like if he saw you asleep on the couch he would most definitely make sure a blanket is over you and have a water on the table waiting for when you wake up.

he would have so many pet names for you princess/prince being his favorite one to call you of course.

i think while out shopping he would pay for all of your purchases and would not allow you to hold any of the bags. i feel like too that after each time he swipes his card he would look at you and kiss you on the cheeks because its what you deserve.

when you two are in bed together he pulls you into him, close to his warm chest (your favorite place for your head to rest) he runs his fingers through your hair as the two of you talk about whatever is on the both of your minds drifting off to sleep.

would be very cautious of your health, and making sure you take your probiotics and vitamins— making sure you are staying warm during the winter and hydrated during the summer

always letting you rest your head on his shoulder

always taking your side when you’ve had a bad day

picking you up from the train station after you get out of work because hates the idea of you walking anywhere alone. and if he cant make it he will make sure you face-time/call him during the walk.

you sit in his lap all the time even in-front of all the other members. instead of kissing or hugging this is how you guys show off to them.

would take you on trips, and on them you guys would go to coffee shops, museums, historic places. but he will have his camera out pointed at you (l feel like he would want to be one of those aesthetic couple influencers on instagram)

mdi

i feel like while having sex with him (and not to popular belief), he would take in every moment and be gentle to make sure you feel good too.

i kinda feel like if you tell him you are going out with your friends and he sees you dressed sexy he would fuck you right then and there before you are aloud to leave, not out of jealousy but just because of how good you look.

would love morning sex because it means he gets to see you with the sun rays hitting all the right places.

i also feel like he is so open to trying new things in bed that are either proposed by jaemin or you. (i know this is contradicting what i just said but i know he’s a freak in the sheets sometimes to spice things up)

AFTERCARE !!!!! is HIS THING! i feel like he would be so caring ask you if what he did just moments ago was good and if there is anything he need to change. getting you water but making sure you go to the restroom and take a shower (sometimes he will join, sometimes for a second round and sometimes just to make sure you don’t fall over) then tucking you in as you fall fast asleep.

— over all i think he would be such a WONDERFUL partner like i feel it in my bones every time i look at this man he would treat you so well. he just makes it easy to think this with all the bubble messages (almost every day) that nctzens receive saying “you did a good job today, sleep well and stay warm” YEAH also him putting money aside for a 401k and pension plan is so fucking hot 🤕 its the little things he does that makes it so easy for me to invision all of this.

sorry for this long post hopefully this answers the question

please feel free to leave something in my ask

[wintfleur]

👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ STELLA HUGHES PROFILE

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

°. — BASICS!

NAME Estella Hughes

BIRTHDAY may 5th 2004 ‘19’

BIRTHPLACE Manchester, New Hampshire

HEIGHT 5’7

PIERCINGS 2 lobe piercings, bellybutton piercing, nipples 🤫

HEALTH anemic

 MAJOR an art major, does figure skating.

FACECLAIM mostly Gracie Abrams, random girls I find on Pinterest

LOVE INTEREST Rutger McGroarty

°. — FUN FACTS!

She is the youngest of the Hughes clan, and as the only girl and youngest that means her older brothers are very protective. Mostly Jack and Luke, Quinn isn’t as intense as the other two.

Quinn is her favorite person in the whole world, she tells him everything. He likes to say that she’s his favorite, and it’s true.

She had the biggest crush on Trevor growing up, he likes to tease her about it. So does Luke.

Never has been in a serious relationship, Jack and Luke scared all the boys off.

She loves art, skating, reading, ABBA, winter, her Nintendo Switch, pretty little liars, cherries.

She’s not the biggest fan of swimming.

Her love language is physical touch, she’s a big cuddler and she loves holding hands.

Her two best friends are lily (lils) and Carmen (minnie) they have been friends since they were little, lily is on the woman’s volleyball team and Carmen does figure skating with her.

Secretly made out with Luca fantilli in a closet at her first college party, obviously before her and rut started dating. Only Quinn, lily, Carmen and Rutger know.

she loves spending summers at the lake house.

She went viral at jacks draft, she goes viral a lot.

The nhl fans love her, the delulu fans hate her.

Is very close with her parents, she’s a family girl!

She got lucky and has her own dorm room. This! Is what I picture her dorm to look like, except it has more of her art work on her walls and some pictures, and across from the bed on the wall is where her projector shows. She also has her own bathroom. (Not realistic but for the sake of the story 🙏)

She’s a homebody, she likes going out but prefers to hang out at home/dorm or at her friends homes/dorms.

She is a very talented artist and got a scholarship to umich for her art, she loves all types of art. She likes drawing and painting but has started loving ceramics.

Stella loves the library and I mean lovesss it! If you can’t find Stella, she’s either in her bed or at the library

She loves photography, ever since Quinn bought her a Polaroid camera when she was 13, she has quite the vault of embarrassing pictures of her brothers

Mommas girl? Daddy’s girl? No she’s a Quinn girl

She used to figure skate with a partner but after he turned out to be a major dick she went back to skating solo.

She’s actually really good at hockey, and could join a woman’s team if she wanted to. But she could never, she hates getting hit.

Stella absolutely loves winter so much.

She hates seeing her brothers and friends getting hit, makes her cringe and flinch.

Went viral after her reaction of Jack getting into a fight goes on the big screen.

The camera people are always putting her on the big screen whenever she goes to her brothers and friends game.

She did get exposed on the big screen taking a sip of Trevor’s beer…Trevor couldn’t stop laughing while her dad gave her a disapproving shake of his head.

Trevor and Jack accidentally got Stella really high for the first time, forgetting to tell her that gummies on jacks desk are edibles. A freaking out Trevor and Jack trying there best to calm down a panicked Stella, let’s just say the two boys were anxious for Quinn to come back. (I really want to write a thing for this, it would be so funny)

Her and lily secretly went and got there nipples pierced, Carmen being there to hold there hands.

Stella loves baking

Her favorite foods are fries, blueberries and cherries

She loves water, coke and hot chocolate

Not really a coffee or tea person

She loves playing board games and video games with her brothers

She’s a sweet person, but isn’t afraid to speak her mind. She’s the youngest of three brothers, she knows how to stick up for herself!

She’s a passenger princess…with Like everyone!

She knows she’s in trouble if someone calls her Estella

She has 3 instagram accounts. @/stellahughes is her main account that everyone follows, @/entersteller is her private account where only her friends and family follow, @/nicohischierluvergurl is her secret private account where only a few of her close friends and Quinn follow.

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( so this is the introduction/profile of Stella! I really hope you guys like her, I’m really excited to write more of her! I didn’t mention Rutger a lot in this because I will be making them there own profile, super excited to do that! Please don’t be a silent reader, I would love to hear your opinions )

°. - ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the taglist! )

[sleepysnk]

now i want nsfw hcs for koko 😈✨

a/n: you asked and now you shall receive! thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy these!! <3

characters: kokonoi hajime

warnings: nsfw, smut, oral sex f!receiving, fingering, consensual recording, slight breeding kink, some light bdsm, edging, dacryphilia, use of pet names (baby, princess), some degradation, praising, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, mentions of after care.

NSFW HEADCANONS.

kokonoi hajime:

- i’m here to say it right now, this man is a freak and i’m not lying about that.

- koko is very much a mixed platter when it comes to sex. on one hand, he can be soft and very vanilla, while on the other hand he can be quite an experimentalist. he loves to try new things with you to give you the best pleasure you’ll ever receive. it’s always going to be your needs over his at the end of the day, so expect the best treatment in bed. he will show you the fucking world while he’s buried inside you.

- koko is very much into bondage. it’s nothing too intense, but he likes to use his tie or his belt to restrain you during sex. he’ll often do it whenever he wants to test your limits, and he’ll take his time with you. he’ll kiss down your neck, then towards your chest, then all the way down to your navel where he’d reach your pussy that’s been aching for him. he loves giving you those seductive eyes while he goes down on you, because he loves to see how you react to his gestures. he gets so hard whenever you look needy and desperate for his touch. it gets him off so so much.

- “like that, baby? aw, you’re so fucking cute.”

- he eats pussy like it’s his last meal. he sticks out his tongue so much in the show that there’s no way he’s not skilled with that tongue. he would make you see stars from the way his tongue dives deep into your cunt, licking and swiping over your sensitive bead with such burning desire that it almost makes him cum from how turned on it gets him.

- koko always fingers you whenever he eats you out. he knows exactly where to curl and twist to make you twitch underneath him. he also loves to see the mess on his digits whenever he’s done with you. sometimes he’ll lick it off and praise you for how wonderful you taste.

- the first thing i thought of when i got this request was recording.

- koko loves to film whenever you two fuck. he’d obviously ask for permission prior to doing it. however, he just loves watching those videos whenever he’s at work or by himself. koko has definitely jerked off in his office to you crying and moaning his name on camera. he has so many too, and not just videos but photos as well. your pretty body for his eyes only is such a turn on for him. his favorites are whenever he cums inside you and records it flowing out of your pretty cunt. he goes wild.

- speaking of cumming inside you, i think koko has a small breeding kink. it wouldn’t be as big as someone as draken or hanma would, but he definitely has one. he loves to fill you up and the idea of you being pregnant with his child does turn him on.

- koko has a way with words. he is very vocal during sex and loves to dirty talk you, especially when he’s really horny. he also loves sending dirty texts whenever the two of you are out. sometimes your cheeks burn at how filthy the messages are. he doesn’t hold back.

- “fucck, you like that? you like being my little slut? oh, i’m sure you do, princess. ‘gonna fuck you so good..”

- koko can bring you to an orgasm fairly quickly. he loves to wind you up all the time, but his favorite thing is to edge you. he loves watching you whine and thrash underneath him whenever he denies your orgasm. he’s another guy that really likes to bring you to tears whenever he’s being mean. your glossy eyes turn him on so much and he can’t help but fuck you roughly whenever you’re in that state. he only wants to see you crumble.

- he likes putting you in all kinds of positions. he’s a real big fan of that.

- koko is always striving to be the best for you in bed, so he’s definitely into giving you many orgasms. he doesn’t stop until you’re an overstimulated mess, but he also gets even more turned on at your whining and whimpering from his cock bullying your walls.

- he likes the mess, believe it or not. he loves seeing the way your cunt sucks his dick in and all your slick covering the base. the sounds of your cunt squelching from the many orgasms turns him on too. he just loves watching what he does to you and getting you soaking wet makes him go crazy.

- he’s definitely into doing after care with you. he’d leave little kisses on your body and even take a bath with you after you’ve both finished up. it’s super cute <3.

- total freak, idc.

[gavisuntiedboot]

Hey, I love your gavi fics. Could you do one where reader is very confident and flirty, always making him nervous with how straight forward she is. Loves to compliment him and kiss his hand. Maybe even him getting teased my his teammates about it.

sry this is extremely specific 😅

Forward (Gavi x reader)

This was such a cute request omg.

*************************************************

"Good morning Vogue Espana! I'm y/n, and this is Valeria, and today we'll be playing Vogue's 'Bestie Quiz'!"

You looked over at Valeria and gave her a wink, causing her to roll her eyes and laugh. The two of you made up 1/2 of Rumores, a Spanish pop group that rose to popularity through TikTok because of your relatable lyrics and how easily people could connect to the group members. You all had fun and bubbly personalities, still fimlimg vlog-style TikToks despite blowing up. Since you dropped your first album as a group, everyone was eager to get a piece of the next hot thing.

You had been contacted by an agency in Spain to get signed, and all moved into Barcelona within about a month. Since then, it had been borderline mayhem. Award shows, fashion shows, exclusive parties - the works. You were now at Vogue Espana headquarters, preparing for a group cover shoot. The editors had asked you and Valeria to pair up and make some video content, as you both had addictive personalities and bounced off each other really well. Long story short - any time you two filmed together, it got millions of views.

"Alright y/n lets start off with an easy one: what is my Starbucks order?"

You tried to cross your legs, almost falling over in the chair, causing the whole production crew to laugh.

"Ignore me almost dying. She's only asking me this question because she knows it really embarrasses me to my core to order this, especially here in Barcelona! It's a venti iced caramel macchiato, 9 pumps of caramel, extra caramel sauce on the top and bottom. Can you imagine having to say this out loud?"

The set was filled with laughter. They cut the take to get your makeup touched up, which was now melting off under the bright studio lights. You both continued to quiz each other, laughing and bantering playfully. You looked down at the cue cards with the questions, letting out a loud groan at the next question.

"Val this is rigged in your favor. How come I get all the hard questions and you get this? It's literally the easiest possible question?"

"Stop complaining because the producers think I'm cute and want life to be easy for me. Just ask the question."

"Okay okay: Who is my celebrity crush?"

"Oh wow you're right. That's so easy it's borderline cheating. Have you not seen her social media? Of course it's Pablo Gavi."

You leaned over the back of your chair dramatically, fanning your face.

"Ughhhhh Gavi! Have you ever seen a man so fine and so talented and so freaking delicious?"

Everyone in the studio had to hold back their laughter as so not have it be heard in the recording.

“She’s obsessed you guys I don’t even know how to explain.”

“I think obsessed is the wrong word.”

Valeria turned to you and gasped, getting up from her seat and running over to you, wrestling your phone from your hands. She pulled it free, walking up to the camera with it.

“Let me just make sure she has no inappropriate notifications. Not obsessed? Please look at her Lock Screen. It’s literally taking over her life.”

You hid your face in your hands as your screen lit up, revealing a picture of Gavi from the World Cup as your Lock Screen. The camera zoomed in on you, capturing your embarrassed reaction.

“Listen listen listen. I’ve been a Barça fan since forever. He’s fine and talented. How am I supposed to not fall in love with him?? I feel like that’s too much to ask for.”

Your crush on Gavi was not a secret by a long shot. It has been obvious to your audience since the World Cup qualifiers, when you posted a picture of him in the white uniform, captioning the photo “who is this and where can I find him 😍😍”. Your followers had come through, sending his handle in your DMs several thousand times. You followed him on Instagram and started fangirling in the comments of all his posts.

@uruser

“ Great job today Pablo 🥰”

“My favorite color is now pablo- I mean purple 🥵”

“The only heat in Qatar is gonna be you on the field 😘”

One day, as you did your makeup on a livestream, idly talking to your phone, you noticed the chat moving at a much faster pace than you were used to. You looked at the messages, trying to read something, but it moved so fast the letters blurred together.

"Wait wait how do I stop the chat I can't read you're all typing too quickly."

You figured out how to stop the comments flying by your face, reading the words "GAVI FOLLOWED YOU BACK".

You screamed at the top of your lungs. You started jumping in excitement, shaking the floor so much that your phone fell to the floor. Comments continued to fly in about how this was the beginning of your love story.

This was officially your in. Now that he followed you, you were able to swipe up on his Instagram stories. Every couple of days when Gavi would post, you would leave him flirty messages, never thinking he was going to respond.

"Amazing goal Gavi! You know you could score with me any day tho ;)"

This unfortunate cheesy message got a like. When you saw the small scarlet heart, you almost went into cardiac arrest. It was working. Slowly but surely you were getting him to recognize you.

Gavi hated pulling out his phone in the locker room. He would instantly hear wolf whistles and cheers from his teammates.

"Ay, Gavi, who are the messages from? The pop princess or the real princess?"

He would turn bright red, hiding his face in his shirt. He had seen your comments, and he didn't know who you were at first. He approached Pedri one day, asking him if he knew who you were.

"Gavi please be serious. You haven't heard of Rumores? They're opening for Rosalia this summer. They're super talented. And each member is hotter than the next."

"Wait," Balde chimed in, "who from Rumores is sending Gavi messages?"

"y/n"

Balde's eyes widened to the size of satellites. He grabbed the phone and started recording a voice message on the messages between you and Gavi.

"y/n my darling, this is Alejandro. Forget about this idiot Gavi and DM me your number. Let me appreciate you in a way that he cannot."

Gavi grabbed the phone back. The voice note had already sent, and you had opened the message. Shit. He was practically shaking, not knowing what to do.

"Ale! Why would you do that?" He asked, trying to look away from the three dots that indicated you were typing.

"Pablo you idiot. Do you know that she was number 5 in the "World's Hottest Women" ranking? She won best face AND best ass in Spain last year. If she wants a Barca player and you're fumbling, I am willing to step up." Gavi shoved him on the shoulder, eliciting a laugh from Pedri.

"Hermano, talk to her. She has made it more than clear that she likes you."

Gavi looked at his phone again, still confused as to what to say, when a new message popped up on the screen.

"Thanks for the offer Ale, but I'm still holding out hope that Gavi will message me back one of these days ;)"

He smiled and bit his lip, locking eyes with Pedri, who wiggled his eyebrows at Gavi suggestively. He hit the older boy on the shoulder, and they went out to his car. When they arrived at Pedri's, dragged Gavi onto the couch to show him clips of you talking about Gavi.

*y/n being in love with a spicy midfielder for 17 minutes*

"Pedri why do you have this video in your favorites?"

"Be quiet and watch."

The video started playing, and Gavi was stunned when you popped up on the screen. It was a clip of you at an award show, dresses in a gorgeous maroon two-piece that showed your midriff and lower stomach, as well as ornate stomach jewelry.

"y/n you look absolutely gorgeous this evening. We heard you were a Barcelona fan? Is this true? And if so, who is your favorite player?"

You smiled widely, causing Gavi's intestines to twist into pretzels.

"Of course I'm a Barca fan. All hot girls are Barca fans. My favorite player of all time is Messi, but on the current squad? Pablo Gavi. He's so talented and not to mention gorgeous."

Gavi brought a cushion to his chest and hugged it tightly. He was used to people calling him attractive in comments, but it was different seeing it live, hearing it from someone who the whole world thought was gorgeous. The next clip was a TikTok, in which you and Valeria danced in matching Gavi and Pedri jerseys.

"See Pablito, she already has your shirt for when she comes to the games to support you."

That comment earned Pedri a swift smack, which he was unable to dodge. Gavi continued to watch the rest of the video, borderline kicking his feet at how fuzzy he felt hearing that you thought he was hot and talented.

"Thanks for watching the Bestie Quiz! Make sure to like the video and subscribe to Vogue Espana. Bye!"

The camera switched off, and you and Valeria stepped off the chairs you were sat in. You immediately got onto Instagram live to pub the video.

"Hey everyone! We just got done filming for Vogue Espana's YouTube channel! Make sure to tune in when the video comes out. And... tomorrow we'll be touring a certain football stadium. Make sure you're following us here and on TikTok to stay up to date with all the latest from us!"

Gavi's jaw dropped. Of course he tuned into the live. He was eager to hear the sound of your voice, see your face lit up with joy. He had been thinking about you for weeks now, unable to say anything to you from embarrassment. He didn't know how to be charismatic and suave and the man that the internet portrayed him to be. He was a dork. He didn't know how talk to you. So when he heard that you were visiting a football camp, he texted the groupchat.

[Gavi]: Is that girl group coming to Camp Nou tomorrow?

[Pedri]: ah ah ah no one respond. Gavi, go ask your admirer. A good way to start a conversation.

[Ansu]: ^^^

[Alejandro]: retweet

He rolled his eyes. They were right. It was the perfect opportunity to reach out to you. But he was still nervous - what if he didn't live up to your expectations?

He typed out a simple message and hit send with his eyes closed.

@pablogavi - are you coming to el campo tomorrow?

"Valeria, remember how you told me that he would never talk to me because I was 'creepy' and a 'weirdo'? Well, eAT YOUR WORDS HE JUST MESSAGED ME!"

You flopped onto the couch, kicking your feet like a lovesick teenager.

@uruser - if I am, will you give me a special tour? xx

@pablogavi - i'll try

The next day you were positively giddy with joy. You were going to get a private tour of Camp Nou with your three closest friends. And you were going to be breathing the same air as Pablo Gavi. This was your chance to shoot your shot. You put on a black tank top and some light wash jeans that enhanced your award-winning ass. You turned on a livestream so people could watch you and Valeria do your makeup, playing Meg Thee Stallion as you got ready. You started dancing, twerking a little bit in the mirror.

"She's practicing for later when she sees Gavi."

You slap Valeria on the arm, the chat exploding at the idea. You ended the live shortly after, getting in your car to be driven over.

Gavi was a nervous wreck. He had changed his shoes three times, wondering which pair of Dunks would impress you the most. Gel or natural hair? Should he wear his classic long sleeve or just the jersey? Pedri's honking was disturbing the whole neighborhood. He ran downstairs (he picked the gray dunks), getting in Pedri's car as fast as possible.

"If Alejandro get to her first, you only have yourself to blame."

Gavi laughed lightly, but he felt like he was going to be sick.

You and the girls arrived to Camp Nou at 10am, eager to take a tour. You were greeted by several members of staff, including Sara, who worked the team's social media. She would be following you all throughout the day to get clips for the official Instagram and Twitter accounts. You walked into the office, greeted first by Xavi. You were all super excited to be in the presence of the coach and World Cup winner. He spoke with you about the history of the club, then lead you through the facilities to the locker room, where you would be meeting the players. Your group members walked in ahead of you as you grabbed a selfie with Xavi.

Gavi would never admit it, but he stood on his tiptoes to try and catch a glimpse of you. He was in jeans and a jersey, ditching the long sleeve since he wouldn't be hurting his arms (not because he saw a video of you saying that you were in love with his arms. That could never be the reason). You walk in and it was like someone had lit his veins on fire. He was so overwhelmed by your gentle laugh and your bright smile. Your eyes scanned the players and landed on Gavi, biting your lip and winking at him. He looked to the floor, hiding the satisfied look on his face from the cameras recording. You greeted all the players, and after getting past Ferran and Alejandro, you got to Gavi. He put one sweaty hand out for you to shake.

"Nice to finally meet you, Gavi. You're even better looking in person."

You shook his hand and pulled him in, giving him a kiss on each cheek. Typical for Spain, but not something you had done for the other players.

"I as well also think meeting you is good." Gavi stammered out, making absolutely no sense. You smiled at him, causing his heart to race faster. Your hand lingered on his for a moment before you moved on to Pedri.

"You're going to make a really bad impression on Xavi if you break our young talent in the middle of the season." He said to you, causing you to pull away and laugh, pretending you didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about. At the end of the greetings, the team members pulled out the shirts that had been prepared for all of you. Sara pulled out yours and handed it to Gavi, knowing keeping you together would produce the best trending content. Fan service pays the bills. He unfolded the shirt and saw your name at the top, and under...

"Number 6?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow at you. You looked at him from your seat, patting the spot next to you. He reluctantly sat down, and held up the shirt for the photo. You placed your hand over his for the photo, and he felt like he was 12 again experiencing his first crush. When the photographers looked down to make sure the shot was clear, you leaned into Gavi's ear.

"I wanted to wear your new number. I hope it can bring you some good luck."

"You... you want me to have g-good luck?"

"Of course Pablo. When you do well you're happier, and then I'm happier."

Gavi was going to explode. What kind of woman were you? Who was this forward about their feelings? He took a deep breath and composed himself. The girls were all taking sneaky pictures, wanting to capture the moment that you and Gavi first fell in love (because they knew that you would never let him out of your sights now). His teammates were snickering, in awe of how the firecracker that they had come to love was now a pile of mush, blushing like a schoolgirl and stuttering over his words.

"Alright, we're going to film some challenges in pairs now. The rest of the team will get their pairs. Gavi and y/n, you're going to come film with me." Sara said, walking quickly outside the locker room, expecting you both to follow. Gavi got up quickly and gestured towards the door.

"Um, after you."

"Wow, you're such a gentleman." You said, giving him a gentle squeeze on the bicep before you followed Sara. What was he supposed to do now?

You walked outside into the stands and both took your seats, handed personal mics to attach to your shirts. You clipped yours on in about a minute, having done this numerous times for different shoots. Gavi, on the other hand, was struggling slightly.

"Do you want some help, Gavi? Of course that would require me to touch your chest."

He looked up at you, wire still tangled. "You're going to touch my chest?"

"Only if you want me to gorgeous." You replied with a wink. He didn't trust himself to make words, so he nodded instead. You gently grabbed the wire, threading it through his shirt, fingers lightly brushing against the toned muscle of his chest. You clipped it at the top, smoothing his shirt when you were finished.

"All done. Now we need to test them out with a sentence to make sure the staff can hear. I'll go first. Test sentence: Gavi is adorable and I'm going to ask him out before I leave today."

"You're going to do what?!" He said, eyes widened, sweat glands activated.

"It's just a gibberish test sentence. Your turn."

"Um, hello?"

"It needs to be longer than that." You said, getting comfortable in your seat.

"I don't know what to say." He said, smiling shyly and looking down.

"Try whatever comes to your mind Gavi. Literally anything."

"Okay. Ehem test sentence: I'm really nervous around y/n so I hope I don't make a fool of myself in this video."

Your cheeks heated up but you looked away, trying to play it cool. You loved that you were making him a little bit flustered, but he was gaining some confidence to respond. The camera crew stated that you were rolling, and you looked at the camera.

"Hello everyone! I'm y/n and I'm here today with Gavi, and we're going to be playing Barca's 7-second challenge!"

"Ah, my brain is too slow for this game." Gavi said, tossing is head back. The staff handed you the envelopes, and you began.

"Alright I'm going to be asking first. Name three Barca players that contributed to a goal against Real Madrid."

"Ah easy. Leo Messi, Luis Suarez, and me." He said, winking at the camera.

"Good job. You would have been my first answer." You responded. Your rizz game was insane today. You wanted to make an impression- who knows if you would ever have a chance again?

It was Gavi's turn. He opened the envelope and read the question.

"Ah this is too easy. Who are 3 Barca players that have worn the number 6?"

You smirked at the camera. "Super easy. Denis Suarez, Xavi, and the best looking in number 6, Gavi." You said, winking at him. He smiled widely, turning away from you.

"Ah lalala don't let Mister Xavi hear you say that."

After you finished filming the game, the sun had moved from the middle of the sky, making the field more pleasant. The staff informed you that the final piece of content you would be filming would be Gavi showing you how to play football. Gavi was excited. Finally something he could excel at (and maybe embarrass you for once). You both got onto the field, and you laced up the football boots you had been given by the staff. From your position on the ground you looked up.

"Should I keep one untied so I can play as well as you?"

"I- I think you should keep them tied. I'm used to falling, but I don't want you to get injured."

"Awe how cute Pablo you don't want me to break my face." You said, getting up from your spot on the ground and pinching his cheek. It was quite warm to the touch.

Once the cameras were rolling, he taught you some basics, and then he decided to show off. He started playing keep-up with the ball, moving from hit feet to his thighs to his head and shoulders. He passes the ball to you, and you tried to receive with your chest, forgetting about the extra tissue there. You bent over in pain and he came up to you, checking on you.

"Don't worry I'm fine. But if you ask nicely I'll let you kiss it better." He stood frozen with his hands on your shoulders.

"I, I, I- do you want to do something else?"

"No no, it's hot watching you play."

Gavi was at his end. He was embarrassed beyond belief. He could not believe how forward you were, and he could not believe how much he liked it. He felt special - wanted. He brought you to the front of the box, deciding to end the day by teaching you to shoot a penalty. He helped position you, and you two spent the next ten minutes making shots at the goal and joking with one another. At the end, the crew came and collected your mics, and you waiting for the other girls and players to join you.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Here, can you sign my jersey?"

You handed him the pen, turning around and lifting your hair out of the way. He bent over slightly, uncapping the pen with his teeth.

"Who should I make it out to?" He asked.

"Make it out to your future wife. Or future long-term girlfriend if you don't believe in the institution of marriage." You felt the pen meet your back, smiling to yourself.

"I have never met a girl that was as forward as you. It's a little intimidating."

You turn to him, taking your pen and sticking it into your back pocket.

"I know I've said this a million times on every platform, but I think you're cute and interesting. I'm not going to be shy about that. If I make you uncomfortable though I'll stop."

"No no. That wasn't a complaint, but I was wondering...."

"Yes, dear husband?"

"Were you serious about asking me out?"

"My God Gavi. I have made it so painfully obvious that I'm had over heels for you. I have to ask you out as well?"

"You make me shy! I can't even begin to think of where I could take you on a date. I'm just going to let you stay in the driver's seat and I'll keep being a little stupid."

"What're you going to do when I come to one of your matches? Blush and giggle in midfield?"

"You're going to come to a match? The we have to go out before then. Let me get the awkwardness out over dinner so when I'm on the field, you'll be the one blushing and swooning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: this is so long omg :') thank you so much to whoever requested this. It was really fun to write a super confident character. I hope this is what anon was looking for, and I'm so sorry if not. I hope y'all enjoy this one, and please leave any feedback in the comments/ send them in my asks!

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE