#the commentator choking lmaooo

[hauntingblue]

Cavendish alter ego??? Hello???

[honeyedmiller]

Ride, Cowgirl | Joel Miller

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

warnings: smut, dom!reader, (semi) sub!Joel, shy! reader, reader is unsure of themselves for .2 seconds, Joel is sweet and encouraging, some fluff and aftercare, takes place in Jackson, implied unprotected piv, choking, riding, spitting, edging, pussy job, face sitting, no use of y/n. I’m sorry this is literally just pure filth lmaooo hope u enjoy :-) 18+. minors, do not interact.

word count: 2.4k

synopsis: you tell joel one of your fantasies that’d been on the back burner, but he encourages you to bring it to life.

not revised (per usual) so sorry if there’s any mistakes!

It was a cozy fall morning in Jackson. You and Joel lazed in bed on your day off, enjoying each other’s company.

So far, it’d been nothing but stolen kisses and soft whispers of endearment, so, naturally, you had no fucking clue how the conversation got to where it was now.

“No, now y’have to tell me, sweetheart. Swear I won’t laugh.” Joel coaxed, brushing your hair out of your face. You groaned and shrunk into the pillows of the bed, trying to hide your face from your beloved boyfriend.

“No, Joel. It’s stupid anyway.” You argue, shaking your head.

“Oh, c’mon. It can’t be that bad, can it darlin’?”

“Yes. It’s unrealistic.”

“Just tell me.” He’s smiling down at you softly, patiently, waiting for you to tell him what you’ve always fantasized about doing in bed.

“Fine. I’ve always wondered,” You swallow thickly, taking a deep breath. “What it would like to be a dom. Just for a little.”

Joel raised an eyebrow at you, looking at you in shock. Out of all the things he was thinking you’d tell him, it definitely wasn’t that. You were generally a shy person, and quite frankly didn’t seem to have one dom bone in your body. But, you’ve surprised Joel time and time again, so he wouldn’t put it completely past you that you’d had a hankering to try something like this.

“Fuck, it’s stupid, I know.” You start, reprimanding yourself for saying anything in the first place.

“No, it’s not stupid darlin’. Jus’ didn’t expect something like this from you.” Joel cooed, kissing your forehead.

“I know I can be, I guess, more reserved… but I save my true self for you and Ellie.” You reasoned, giving him a shy, lopsided smile.

“I know you do, baby. Is this something you really want to try?” He’s serious now, eyes scanning your face.

Of course you were apprehensive, but if big, bad, mean Joel was going to let you live out this fantasy of yours, you couldn’t dare pass it up.

“Yes,” You squeak. “But I obviously wouldn’t go to the full extent. Just… wanting to be in charge only once.” You shrug. You didn’t mind Joel being the dom all the time. Quite frankly, it was hot, and despite his age (which you couldn’t give two fucks about, because the world fucking ended twenty years ago for fuck’s sake), he kept things real interesting in the bedroom.

If you were to ever say your sex life with Joel Miller was boring, you’d be lying straight through your fucking teeth.

That man was insatiable for his age, and his libido was incredible. He never ceases to amaze you, even ‘til this day.

“Okay,” Joel said softly. “Let’s do it.”

Your eyebrows shot up to the top of your forehead. Was he seriously going to go through with this? I’ve-killed-half-of-Salt-Lake-City Joel, ready to be a submissive to little ‘ol you?

“Are you serious?” The shock in your tone was transparent, sitting up in bed a little to look at him in all seriousness.

“Absolutely. If that’s one of your fantasies, I’ll help you live it. But,” He paused, giving you a stern look. It was half playful, half dead serious. “You tell no one that we’re doing this, okay? I have a reputation to uphold here.”

You snorted at his last comment, rolling your eyes. “Please, Miller, I don’t talk to anyone about our sex life anyways. I like to keep the dirty things we do to ourselves, thank you very much.” The smug smile that curled onto your lips made Joel’s twitch.

“Alright, so, how do you want to do this?” He asks, folding his arms behind his head.

“Wait, you mean we’re doing it now?”

“Why not? Ellie’s at Dina’s for the weekend, so we have allll day baby.” Joel smirked up at you, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“Fuck, um, okay. I don’t know where to start.” Nerves took over you as you were painfully regretting this decision to go through with it.

“Start with telling me some simple ground rules. That usually gets you in the mood.” Joel unravels one arm from behind his head, reaching out to rub your arm gently.

“Right, okay,” You trembled nervously, but you took a deep breath to get your mind into a dominatrix headspace. “First things first,” You stare down at him, lust clouding your vision. “Only speak when spoken to. Don’t touch me unless I give you permission, and you’ll only address me as ma’am. Got it?” You look down at him, trying to hide your nervousness as best as possible.

Joel’s cock stirred at your words, acquiescing with your rules.

“Say it.” Your voice is stern as you get on top of him, straddling his thighs. It took everything in him not to reach up and grab you. You wore nothing but an oversized shirt of his, and the sight of you in it with a daring glint in your eyes drove him absolutely wild.

“Yes ma’am.” He agreed.

“Good. Now take off your boxers.” You instructed, lifting your weight off of him so he could slide them off of his body.

His cock was already leaking pre cum, the tip swollen and begging for attention. The sight nearly made your mouth water, but you had to keep your façade up. He looked up at you, waiting for your next set of instructions.

You moved up on him again so your bare, aching heat was hovering over his erection. You lowered yourself onto him, teasing his length with your slick folds. Your arousal made it easy for you to grind yourself onto him.

He clamped his eyes shut, hissing at the feeling of you teasing him so.

“Mm, feel so fucking good honey. This cock is all mine, you got that?” You peered down at him, and he nodded frantically.

“What did I say about speaking when spoken to?” You snap, even surprising yourself with how promiscuous your tone was coming off as.

“Y-yes ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“Good boy.” You smirk, and he groaned at that.

“Quiet.” You warn, moving your hips again to your leisure. Joel’s cock throbbed underneath your aching cunt, and not being able to touch you or speak was driving him fucking wild.

You continued your movements, and you could tell Joel was close when he started to pant really hard. He wasn’t going to cum that easy. Just as he was about to tip over the edge, you lifted your hips, causing him to throatily whine.

“Fuck, darlin–”

“What did I just say about you being quiet?” You snap, leaning forward to wrap one of your hands around his neck. You were careful not to crush his windpipe, but gave the sides of his thick throat some pressure with your small hands.

Never in his life did Joel think being choked would be hot. It really wasn’t something he was fond of, but right now, with you, it was the hottest thing ever. Seeing you go from shy and quiet to choking him and being in complete and utter control made him nearly lose his mind.

“Open your mouth.” You commanded, and he obeyed immediately. You spit into his mouth, moving your hips back down to where your throbbing cunt met his pleading cock. His eyebrows furrowed as he swallowed what you gave him, biting his lip in agony as you started to grind on him again. And, once more, you denied him access to cum.

You knew once Joel went back to being his dominant self, he’d punish you back ten fold, so you had to tread lightly. Desperate whimpers and moans elicited from his throat, and you let go of his neck to look down at him.

“You’re just not getting it, are you?” You scoff, and you move off of him again. This time, you shift your body so your dripping heat is hovering right above his mouth. “Maybe this’ll help shut you up.”

You waste no time in making yourself comfortable on his face, and he immediately reacts. His tongue is ravishing you like a starved man, sucking on your clit with care before licking up and down your slick folds. You start to rock your hips on his face, your clit catching on his nose just right.

Joel had the right mind to tease you this way and deny you of an orgasm too, but he knew you wouldn’t be so forgiving to him since he was the one who encouraged you to carry out this fantasy.

“Touch yourself, honey. But do not cum.” You told him, and he moaned into you. He began to tug at his silky flesh, and he thumbed at the slit on his swollen and neglected head. His tongue was buried deep into you, and the suckling and slurping sounds he made were nothing short of obscene and extremely erotic.

You felt Joel tense again, nearing his release once more. He just prayed to whatever was out there that you’d let him cum this time.

“Wanna cum, honey?” You coo, tangling your fingers in his hair. He nods below you eagerly, continuing to devour you. You were so close to the edge yourself, so you moaned in praise. “Beg for it.”

You lifted your hips to let him speak, and you’d never heard his voice in such disarray, ever.

“P-please ma’am. Please let me cum. Ple-ase.” He was nearly whimpering, voice strained and teetering on the edge of a full whine.

You move your hips back down, and you’re once again on his mouth. He wastes no time in trying to get you over the edge, and when you’re just about there, you give him permission.

“You can cum, my love.” And just like that, both of you unraveled at the same time. Loud moans were to be heard from your bedroom at the agonizing release of both of you.

You shuffled back down Joel’s body so you were straddling his thighs once more. You looked at his slick-covered face, smirking at the sight.

“You did so good, honey.” You kiss him, tasting your arousal on his lips.

“Thank you, ma’am.” He responds, hands twitching to touch you.

“You can touch me, Joel,” You murmur, kissing him again. His hands immediately go to your waist to hold you steady against him before exploring your body slowly. You moaned softly when his hands reached your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “But I’m not done with you yet, cowboy.”

He looks up at you with a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He was honestly so proud in a sense that you gained so much confidence being in a dominatrix headspace.

“Permission to speak, ma’am?” He asks politely, smiling smugly up at you. You raise your eyebrow at him and nod, listening intently.

“Ride, cowgirl.”

You laughed, your dom façade already breaking. You lined Joel’s surprisingly hard cock up with your entrance, rubbing the tip against your folds a few times before you sunk down on him completely.

You moan at the sensation, him stretching you to fullness something you’ll always find so fucking hot.

“Feel so good, baby.” You encourage, starting to rut your hips back and forth. It wasn’t long before you found a steady rhythm and tossed Joel’s oversized shirt that engulfed your body to the side so he had a clear view of your beautiful body.

Forgetting the no touching rule, he reached out to massage both of your breasts. You almost moaned at the contact, but quickly took both of his wrists into your hands, holding them above his head. You were careful not to move fast, though, because you knew his shoulders were nearly shot.

“No touching.” You smirk as you bounce on him now, groaning when his cock hit that spongey spot in your cunt that made you see stars.

“Mm, fuck, baby, who’s cock is this?” Your words were sickly sweet, dripping like honey as you gazed down at Joel with a ferocious look in your eye.

“Fuck, yours, ma’am. It’s all yours.” He moaned, loving the way your sweet, delicate pussy took him so well every single fucking time. It’s like you were just made for him, and the sensation was truly like no other.

“That’s right. Mine. Don’t you forget it.” You lean down and kiss his neck with fervor, kitten licking the spot you know drives him crazy just once. You felt his cock twitch inside of you, and you knew he was close again. You clamped down on him, riding him with such determination. You wanted to see his face when he unraveled for you; because of you.

“You’re so fucking handsome, you know that?” You start praising him, returning the sweet words he always tosses your way when you two have sex. “So strong. So sweet and loving. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, honey.” You kiss him lovingly, every dom thought and bone in your body dissipating.

You knew it was only a matter of time before you’d say enough was enough. You liked when Joel was in charge. He fucked you so well, and the aftercare was always so tender and loving. He was so gentle, patient and kind with you. You truly loved him with your whole being.

You felt Joel’s hips stutter, breaking you from your thoughts. “It’s okay, my honey. Let go.” You finally said, and it only took him a few more thrusts of hitting that sweet spot inside you that had you coming undone as well.

You kissed him as you both unraveled, swallowing each other’s moans as your movements came to a halt. You slowly get off of him, pulling him into you as you cradled his head against your chest. You kissed his forehead a few times as you ran your fingers through his graying hair.

“I hope I didn’t push it too far.” You whisper, tracing the outline of his jaw with the tip of your index finger. He looked up at you, completely fucked out and more than satisfied.

“You did amazing, baby. That was hot.” He praised, and suddenly, your shyness returned to you full-force. A crimson blush colored your cheeks, and you hid your face into the top of his curls.

“Yeah, well, I prefer it if you’re just the dom from now on.” Your voice is diffident. Joel laughs, leaning up to kiss you lovingly.

“I think that can be arranged, baby.”

-

I think I’m gonna start doing a tag list. Lmk if you wanna be tagged for future works of mine! But until then @cool-iguana as promised I’d tag you <;3 ily

[sweetlywriting]

(if you're comfortable with this) Can you do All Dorm Leaders + Jamil reacting to their crush (MC doesn't know theyre the object of their affection) calling them babygirl

Calling them babygirl + Dorm wardens

A/N-I definitely am comfortable with this, I laughed for a solid ten minutes and it’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun writing a req lmaooo ily

Malleus Draconia-

Doesn’t understand. He’s not a female infant, so he’s not sure why you’re referring to him as so

Eventually he accepts it as some human term of endearment and now calls you babygirl in return. Oh how this backfired.

Gives Sebek a heart attack when he casually refers to you as babygirl

Gives everyone a heart attack seeing the most feared student in Nightraven call you babygirl tbh

Lilia thinks it’s cute and approves of your ‘ young love ‘. Everyone else is too terrified to ask

Azul Ashengrotto-

Would love to be mad about the fact that you called him babygirl but honestly he’s too busy trying to find out why he liked it so much

He flusters immediately whenever you say that, he knows it’s a joke but being called an pet name by you? He could faint. Matter of fact he will so don’t overuse your power

He’s liked you for a long time, and while he’s a firm and uncompromising businessman most of the time, he’s slimey goo in yours, always ready to keep up with your silly whims

Vil Shoenheit-

Vil has gotten a lot of compliments and comments on his magicgram so while you aren’t the first person to call Vil babygirl you certainly his favorite

He can’t help but be bemused with your odd choice of endearment. And no you may not call him babygirl in front of anyone else.

Kalim Al Asim-

Think’s it’s some sort of cute nickname. Jamil is horrified, and immediately informs Kalim of the true nature of the name.

Kalim laughs it off and promptly adds it to his vocabulary

He gets detention for calling a teacher babygirl

You go with him because you feel bad

Jamil Viper-

He is astonished

What did you just call him? Scolds you immediately, but you don’t miss the tinge of light red on the edge of his ears and nose

So now that you know he hates the name you just have to tease him with constantly

It’s his contact name, what you call him in the halls, you even schemed with Ace and Deuce to try and change his magicgram username

If it was anyone else he’d hate it. But it’s you so it’s ok. Another very much bbg man.

Riddle Rosehearts-

w h a t

He has that cherry red face he has whenever he gets mad but his expression is absolutely stricken

Riddle is baffled

He just kinda stands there a while with his mouth opening and closing like a fish, unsure what to think

On one hand what did you just call him? On the other hand he’s liked you for a while and . . . Uh maybe this is your weird way of saying you like him?

Idia Shroud-

Like riddle, but ten times worse

You may as well given him an asthma attack cause this guy is choking on the floor

No seriously the first time you call him this he cannot process it. You and Ortho have to walk carry him to class

And he’s all blushy and flushy, professor Trein has to ask him to face the board multiple times

Kinda likes it?? He is very bbg.

[bau-drabbles]

a/n: heavily inspired by those all posts but i can't find who they're from, i'm sorry 😭

your instagram but you're dating aaron hotchner :)

except i have no idea how to write for hotch/the team so it's definitely ooc 😹

part 2, 3, 4

liked by its.emilyp, d.morgan and 501 others

y/n_xo: bearded aaron hottie >> 😮‍💨😮‍💨

view all 100 comments

a.hotch: you tell me this after i shaved it all off

y/n_xo: you're still a hottie! just a beardless one 🤍

a.hotch: i'll grow it back for you

y/n_xo: my whole husband 🫶🥹

penny.garcia: you both make my heart so warm 💗 the ice king has finally melted his heart, this'll be such a good story for your kids! 🥹

d.morgan: yall make me so sick

its.emilyp: i feel like this man popped outta the womb with a glare looool

a.hotch: 🤨

its.emilyp: 🙂***

itsjj: suddenly i fear you have a whole stack of paperwork to complete

its.emilyp: and you'd be correct 😪

penny.garcia: SIR 🗣 AYO SIR 🗣🗣 SIR YOU LOOKIN FINE SIR 🗣🗣🗣🗣

reid.gram: not you thirsting over our BOSS 😦

d.morgan: i don't like this, babygirl

itsjj: sometimes sharing is not caring

its.emilyp: i hate it here ☹

penny.garcia: that wasn't me!! 😩 @/y/n_xo grabbed my phone!

y/n_xo: my bad, can't be thirsting on the main 🧍‍♀️

d.morgan: you can barely even see me, why we so blurry?

reid.gram: did you really expect high quality pictures from @/y/n_xo, be honest

the.davidrossi: always the blind ones out here taking 240p pictures

y/n_xo: always the old ones with the most audacity

d.morgan: FOULL 🤣

reid.gram: see, me personally i wouldn't take that type of disrespect

y/n_xo: all that iq and you still can't find a date 😔🤞

its.emilyp: that's my girl 😏

a.hotch: you stop influencing her right now

liked by blake_alex, the.davidrossi and 430 more

y/n_xo: new boyfriend applications, this one is mean 😒

view all 200 comments

a.hotch: wait does that sign not mean something good?

its.emilyp: no it does! nowadays it means peace and happiness

d.morgan: yeah it's also a way to say you love someone a lot

a.hotch: really? @/y/n_xo 🙂🖕❤

itsjj: LMAOOO

reid.gram: I CANT BREATHE

penny.garcia: IVE ALREADY SS THIS AND SENT IT ON THE GC 😂

y/n_xo: my poor man 😭

a.hotch: all of you are getting into trouble

its.emilyp: so worth it 😹

yourexname: i miss you ❤

a.hotch: you're going to miss when you didn't write this

penny.garcia: currently documenting every second of this

reid.gram: we're watching a historical event unfold, you guys

itsjj: i'm a little concerned for this man's safety

its.emilyp: hey, alls fair in love and war 😍

liked by a.hotch, itsjj and 532 more

y/n_xo: never leave your phone unattended pls

view all 300 comments

reid.gram: of course you choose the one picture of my double chin

y/n_xo: it's always out wdym

reid.gram: .... oh

d.morgan: you walked straight into that one, pretty boy

penny.garcia: you guys are so mean 😭 my poor boy wonder

reid.gram: all these haters and for what? 😒

its.emilyp: i smell the cheetos from here

itsjj: i did not eat any 😡

y/n_xo: liar. they were on the side

its.emilyp: called it. my cheeto girl ❤

penny.garcia: time to play cupid, methinks 😌

y/n_xo: budge over will, emily's taking your place ‼️‼️

its.emilyp: 😏

itsjj: 😳

liked by itslukealvez, reid.gram and 609 more

y/n_xo: two best friends in a room.... they might kiss 😳

view all 400 comments

the.davidrossi: how can i delete someone else's picture?

d.morgan: don't be embarrassed rossi, embrace your truth ✊

itsjj: we support you ✊

its.emilyp: sassy king ✊

reid.gram: hey, at least you and @/its.emilyp have something in common ✊

its.emilyp: literally choke

penny.garcia: you owe me 5 bucks @/y/n_xo 🥳

the.davidrossi: i hate all of you

itsjj: aww they look a little like henry and jack, forced to take a picture

a.hotch: that's because we were. this was the 10th picture

y/n_xo: that's cause you're so pretty ❤

the.davidrossi: i genuinely got heatstroke after this. never ever take pictures if @/y/n_xo is near

y/n_xo: :(

a.hotch: ignore him, he's on his sixth wife for a reason. i love all your pictures sweetheart ❤

y/n_xo: :")

penny.garcia: the absolute CUTENESS i CANNOT 😩🥹💗💗

its.emilyp: i can be a better boyfriend than him

y/n_xo: i love you

a.hotch: i am sorry??

reid.gram: damn the silence is loud

itsjj: reid don't be an instigator..... but do i sense a relationship forming? 👀

d.morgan: nah, i could treat you way better princess

a.hotch: @/d.morgan and @/its.emilyp both of you in my office now

[nessieartss]

saw the latest pickup line in student sukuna au and got punched by delighted cringe so hard i made a dying horse noise and had to put my phone down to cover my face with my hands. A++ EXECUTION 1000/10 NO COMMENTS, his Cool Suave Ladies Man™ face was flawless and entirely undeserved for his level of rizz

Lmaooo i love how sukuna is giving not only to yuuji, but also everyone here a second hand embarrassment 😭 its funny that you guys just hop on board with rizzless sukuna, reading all the funny comments and tags almost made me choked on my breakfast

Sukuna is unbeliveably confident with his pickup lines, and thinks he's doing it right (yuuji really needs to teach him a thing or two). Poor megumi has to endure his days with terrible pickup lines from sukuna.

Thank you anon glad you enjoyed them! 🤣

[analogwriting]

WOOOOOO CHEERING I CHEERED

this morning my stomach was fucking me over along w my period cramps so i couldnt bring myself to read the newest chapters 💔💔 ITS BETTER NOW THO AND I JUST READ THEM OHH MY GOODNESS AMBROSE ILL ...HSHNNNM...

starting off myraget the FUCK away from me. I rlly dont want her here anymore, glad we're not all buddy buddy w her after she basically admitted to using us 😒😒ughh

and hiyori hshshshhs she knew something we didnt.. confession scene soon??(not rlly)

and toko omg 🥺🥺🥺 im glad she was the first one to get cured and WE ACTUALLY DID IT!! i am so happy heheh we get to help killer (once we find him.)(if we ever do)

also hiyori calling him our hunkidy do caught me SO OFF GUARD.😭 i almost choked

amd when I tell you at the very end my heart DROPPED. Im telling you i was RIPPING MY HEART OUT WHY ARE NOOOOOOO

but logically the card should be fine right??? cuz hes not dead righttttt??????????

(please dont do this ik you would never lmaooo hahaha.,.,)(though it would be interesting to have to look for everyone without the vivre card if it just all burned up)(i dont rlly know how they work tbh)

ANYWAYSSSS IM RLLY HYPED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS!!!! GREAT WORK AS ALWAYS 🫶🫶🫶🫶(i will cry)

-long rant anon

IM GLAD UR FEEELING BETTERR!!!! (i was actually wondering where you were I was like???? hmmmmmm🤨🤨 thought maybe you were one of the commenters and went off anon lmfaooo)

KID THE PRESIDENT OF THE FANCLUB AND HIYORI VP FRFR our biggest supporters ongg 🤝

EHEHEH DON'T WORRY HUNKIDY DO TERM WILL COME AGAIN 💀💀

(you read right through me long rant anon ✋)

THANKS FOR THE KIND WORDS AND HOPEFULLY I WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE UP TO THE HYPE ✋✋ ❤️❤️ y'all's comments keep me going frfr

[aceofshitposts]

I have been tagged in a bunch of tag games that I keep being like i'll do that when I have time

and then i forget.

anyway so here's some of those!

Catch up tag game, tagged in by @generatorcat:

Last Song: My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion Last Film: No One Will Save You Currently Reading (or last read): [loud crickets] I'm not even currently reading a long fic I just have been playing video games Currently Watching: Critical Role Campaign 3! I am 8 episodes behind right now I'm almost there 💀 Current Obsession: been daydreaming about making my own farming/life sim game? does that count

Fic Stats tagged by @generatorcat and @ladytauria

Most Hits: Lost In The Details - Jaytim, 2,873 2nd Most Kudos: May The Tide Welcome Us Home - jaytim, 250 kudos 3rd Most Comments: Lost In The Details - Jaytim, 20 comments 4th Most Bookmarks: Of Explosions and Ice Cream - Jaytim, 25 bookmarks 5th Most Words: Hindsight - Soroku (Kingdom Hearts lmaooo), 2,587 words Least Words: May The Tide Welcome Us Home - jaytim, 729 words

7 Comfort films! Tagged by @generatorcat and @krizariel

Spirited Away

The Lion King

Jurassic Park

Crazy Rich Asians

IT Chapter One

The Titanic

Alien Covenant

First ten tracks of my on repeat playlist shuffled, tagged by @ladytauria

Can't Sleep But... - Muramasa Star

If I Had $1,000,000 - Barenaked Ladies

Choke - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

again - YUI

NIGHT RUNNING - Shin Sakiura, AAAMYYY

Shelter - Porter Robinson

I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow

The Next Blue Sky - Joel Plaskett

Red Flags (feat. Montaigne) - Tom Cardy, Montaigne

If I Go, I'm Goin' - Gregory Alan Isakov

And I think that's all the easy ones lmao the other one's I'd have to...write things lmaooo

[torntruth]

i  forgot  what  i  was  looking  for  lmao  because  this  guide  i  found  pointed  out  that  evie  was  much  older  but  didn’t  say  anything  about  jacob  lmaooo.   i’ve  also  seen  a  couple  youtube  videos  of  people  commenting  on  her  appearance  while  jacob  looks  ‘good.’   and  idk  dude,   maybe  it’s  just  because  i  have  a  thing  for  older  women  as  is,   but  the  way  they  actually  aged  her  in  this  dlc  is  beautiful.   extremely  beautiful.   the  perfect  little  wrinkles.   i’d  also  like  to  point  out  that  evie  is  really,   really  angry  compared  to  what  she  was  in  the  main  game.   that  just  makes  her  look  darker,  compared  to  the  evie  that  smiled  frequently.   

i  think,   honestly,   that’s  more  of  the  shock.   she  was  legitimately  at  one  point  ready  to  just kill  an  officer  and  then  choke  out  abberline.   i’m  just  really  happy  they  didn’t  make  her  the  damsel  in  distress  and  aged  her  for  the  dlc. 

[montygatorsdiscordkitten909]

I just realized I’ve never made one of these little introduction thingies so here’s that LMAOOO

I’m Vulture, you’re welcome to call me Jack as well. I go by the name “Jack Casket” online usually. 

I’m NBLM and genderfluid, but like the fluid that makes chainsaws go “VVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” and makes Flamethrowers go “FFFFWWWWOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFF.” 

I am yes years old. 

I use all pronouns, including most neopronouns! (Maybe check with me before calling me some of these, rot/rot’s/rottenself is always a safe bet.)

I’m an amateur puppeteer, writer, filmmaker, and I make music as well. Haven’t released anything yet but someday I will!

I LOVE anything to do with animatronics, automatons, or mechanical toys!

I’m also super into history, especially historical technology and weaponry!

Some of my favorite bands/artists are: Cupcakke, Mayhem, STARSET, Cry Club, Slayer, Sabaton, Heads For The Dead, Cannibal Corpse, Heilung, Wardruna, Eldvrak, Danheim, Lord Huron, Hozier, AURORA, Nirvana, Death Grips, and Choking Victim!

Here’s a list of some fandoms I’m in: FNAF, Creepypasta, The Dark Crystal, Detroit: Become Human, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., classic horror like Scream, Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Nightmare on Elm Street, etc, and Star Wars!

I’m not gonna bother making a DNI list, nobody reads them anyways. I will say that I do not welcome Christians preaching in my comments or on my posts. Be a decent person with some brain cells and if I don’t like you I’ll either block you,  personally come to your house and beat you to death with a cinderblock, or kiss you on the lips and have an epic enemies to lovers arc. :3

Welcome to my page! I hope you enjoy your stay in NERDTOWN, NERD. 

[andvys]

ANDY YOU DID IT AGAIN!! another great chapter 🫶🫶

Somehow you ended up sitting on Steve’s lap for the rest of the night and usually you

SOMEHOW?? GIRL get off of there

“No you don’t,” you scoff “if you did then you wouldn’t do this. You wouldn’t want to see and fuck other girls, you would be happy with just me!” you say in an angry hushed whisper, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention “but you keep leading me on while you go and do things with god knows who! I’m done with this, Steve. I don’t wanna be the person you’ll settle for once you’re sick of the shit you are doing.”

YES GOOD!! TELL HIM!!!! you deserve better girly 🫶

He wipes the fallen tears that just escaped your eyes and leans in to press a kiss to your cheek “you mean everything to me, y/n. I can’t lose you.”

bullshit 🙄 if she did you would be an asswipe stevie

He stops you once again, placing his hand on your arm, he turns you back to him. He grabs your jaw and looks at you with an unreadable look in his eyes, his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and before you know it, he leans down and kisses you.

WHATATAHSHHSHSUDJXIDJD GET OUTTT what does he think he's doing 🤨 get your babygirl lips off of my girl and stop hurting her !! 😫

You take the little box out and open it, your mouth waters at the sight of the chocolate cake “and it’s my favorite! How did you know?”

CHOCOLATE CAEKEJKEJK I WOULD CRY. I WOULD FAINT. I WOULD DO SO MUCH FOR A CHOCOLATE CAKE RN. all the mind blowing sex they're having doesnt even matter right now this is what would make me fold 😭

Warmth rushes through you and your eyes soften as he pulls out a guitar pick necklace, one that is similar to his.

THIS IS SO SO SO VERY ADORABLE WHAT!!! guitar pick necklaces are so cute i'd love it as a gift :) i have my fav pick and i want to wear it all the time bc it's so pretty but i also don't want to pierce it so it's a struggle

‘Because I want to be the one to take you on dates. Because I want to keep seeing you. Because I want to bring you chocolate cake after work. Because I want to kiss you first things in the morning and at night before I close my eyes. Because I want to fuck you, hear your moans and the way you say my name when I bring you close to the edge,’ he thinks to himself.

GET YOURSELF A MAN WHO THINKS THAT ABOUT YOU!! and settle for nothing less 😌

“I can be gentle with you.”

AAAAA MY HEART he's so sweet with her 🫶🫶 i love it when he's gentle, my girl deserves some soft and quiet love too ❤️‍🩹

You can feel the shift of his energy. He feels insecure.

noo:( poor boy

“Well, I always thought you are hot, Eddie,” you smirk as you tug at his pants. He lifts his hips up a little, letting you take his pants and boxers off. His erection springs free, slapping against his stomach. Pre cum is leaking out of his tip. You take his cock in your hand and jerk him off teasingly as you keep eye contact. His eyes roll back and he moans at your touch “and you have the prettiest dick I have ever seen,” you whisper as you lean in to kiss the tip of his dick.

AAAAAAAAAAA no but fr so many people say dick are ugly but i genuinely think they can look pretty

Your breath hitches in your throat as he smirks at you when he leans down again, his curls fall on your skin, tickling you. Eddie kisses your pussy teasingly as his fingers move through your already soaked folds “did sucking me off make you this wet?” he asks as he kisses your clit “or did your pretty pussy just miss me?”

THE DIRTY TALK???¡&^(×,×(@;-(-,'cnek2i1iqmql1ozmxn

“Choke me, daddy.”

WHATAJSNSISBWIQ I eoamaow xl2vziV1isnzva8wb17hw9691b17ey1oq X. GIRL YOURE CRAZY FOR THAT. AAAAA

oh my god. every new chaoter is a RIDE. i am UNWELL in the best way possible i LOVED IT !! ♡♡ honey anon <3

AHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 🥹🥹

THE FIRST COMMENT LMAOOO💀 ugh she belongs on Eddie’s lap only 😩

Steve is a villain in this one, just wait till he finds out about her and Eddie!!!

You love when he’s gentle huh? Want some soft smut in the next one? 🤭 & OMG GUITAR PICKS ARE THE BEST! I got Eddie’s 🥺

I also think dicks can be pretty….. sometimes

IM GLAD YOU LIKED THIS SO MUCH! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FEEDBACK YOU ARE AMAZING 🥹🫶🏻💗

[thenighttrain]

I can’t stand Harry Styles! He seems very egotistical, self-centered, money-driven, and pretentious. He’s ugly in every way. His music ranges from boring and uninspired to high key unlistenable. His fans are the most annoying people to talk to because they praise the ground he walks on and act like you’re praying for a worldwide genocide if you so much as say Watermelon Sugar isn’t good. He could sell a fart in a jar for $500 and they would praise him like he’s revolutionizing celebrity merchandise. Not to mention the queer baiting. Unlabeled, my ass. He is straight and cis but he knows LGBT audiences are reliable audiences to profit off of. He treats his fans as walking cash machines to inflate his ego and bank account even more every week. His fashion is ugly and he is constantly praised for it when he could go on stage wearing a leaking trash bag he found backstage and his fans and news outlets would say it’s a metaphor for, like, poverty as if he cares about people in poverty instead of looking down his nose at them from his Rolls Royce driven by Jeff Azoff. He fetishizes and objectifies women in his music, while also low key slutshaming them and whining when they won’t sleep with them, writes songs without their consent about sleeping with them, and proceeds to do nothing about fans harassing those women. I say women as if she wasn’t, like, 19 and he was 23 at the time. He thinks he has this incredible sex appeal to him when the words he writes and puts out into the world are some of the least sexy lyrics ever written. “Cocaine, side boob, choke her with a sea view.” Who approved that? Who told him that was sexy? The list goes on and on. I can see the world turning against him in the near future, realizing he is just like every other man he claims to hate.

Chris Evans also gives me the ick. I don’t know why. His vibes are off.

oh wow this is a lot im crying "He could sell a fart in a jar for $500 and they would praise him like he’s revolutionizing celebrity merchandise" LMAOOO. its not my place to comment on whether he's baiting and honestly, idk enough about his music to comment about what you said about how he writes about women, but i do agree that his lyrics are so... meh, and that people hype him up for doing.. not much at all. that's interesting about chris evans, i've seen a few people say that about him but i don't personally get a bad vibe from him

[atlas-of-the-universe]

My god my drunk ramblings get me into trouble.

My friends and I typically host game night and so we were talking about our friend M’s theory that if you’re ticklish, you don’t like to be choked during sex, but if you aren’t, you do (which obviously holds no scientific backing but it’s funny).

I asked the question “would you rather experience tickling during sex or pain during sex?” Most said tickling which I thought was interesting. Someone returned the same question to me which I answered “absolutely tickling”.

My close friend B at that point asked how I would be able to handle that if I’m so ticklish. I answered honestly and told her that it would be actually a turn on. She was like “…oh wow. Huh.” The rest of the night was filled with us teasing each other about how ticklish we were and all of our supposed “tickle-kinks” which is super ironic considering that I literally have one LMAOOO.

Later in the night, B was sitting on my bed, her boyfriend in front of her and me next to her. My dorm bed is pretty high off the ground and V, her date, had placed the chair between her dangling legs and sat down. We eventually got onto the topic of tickling again and she just lightly rubbed her feet against his sides and he FLIPPED. Honestly it was adorable. She kept doing it and we both made the comment like “B’s gonna have a lot of fun with this” (they’re super new so they’re still getting each others vibes as dates). V at some point, after being tickled, looked back at her and in a menacing tone said “You are SO lucky you’re not ticklish”.

My god I love college LMAO.

[gay-flyboys]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Uhhh it’s been a while, I’ve been busy doing drawings for the PJO au that @read-and-write- @inexplicablymine and @happiness-of-the-pursuit have written. Thrilled to be a part, and y’all should go check it out if you haven’t.

Anyway, since it’s been so long, I’m giving two snippets, because hopefully I’ll be able to divest some of my time into writing more now that I’m out of school for a month, and putting stuff out encourages me lol

First: The "Not Threesome Fic”, a 5+1 that was meant for threesgiving but obviously didn’t happen

Dio turns to him, face suddenly a lot more open and sincere than Alex ever sees on the man. “Question.” Alex quirks a brow, but matches his position so they’re face-to-face. He finishes doing the button on his jeans, thankful his apartment is close because denim on plain skin is not pleasant. “Shoot.” “Would you be open for a threesome?” Alex isn’t quite sure what he was expecting, he never really knows what to expect with Dio, but that was certainly not it. He stumbles over his words, mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air as he chokes out a couple of “uhs,” and “ums.” He’s not not into the idea. They’ve made the occasional comment about being shown off in the midst of the moment, mostly due to Alex having a voyeur/exhibition streak. But it had never left the comfort of the bed, or couch, or kitchen–any of the surfaces they may reside around, really.

Second: Is the sequel to my fic Oxidation (pls read I put so much energy into that one lmaooo)

 “Sit on the bed, sweetheart,” Henry says. His voice leaves little room for argument. Alex shivers, biting his cheek, but does as Henry instructs.  The bed is obscenely comfortable, but that’s to be expected by a guy who seems intent on surprising Alex in every financial way he can. It’s plush with not too much give, and Alex is pretty sure he’s got one of those fancy cooling mattress toppers that Alex is desperate for.  Unsure of what to do with himself, Alex crosses his ankles and places his hands on his thighs. He glances up at Henry, who’s watching him with unflinching attention. Alex flushes under the scrutiny, but doesn’t drop eye contact. Henry smirks, quirking his head. Henry’s arms are crossed, leaning against the wall directly opposing the foot of the bed. Alex is also greeted by a mirror, to Henry’s right, wider than it is tall, hanging on the wall above a dresser made of fine, warm, dark brown wood. He glances at his reflection, then at Henry, whose smile widens into a proper grin.  He takes a few steps forward, tapping Alex’s legs with his knee. Alex gets the message, opening the limbs so that Henry can situate himself between them. He’s holding his breath. It catches in his throat, his eyes glancing between Henry’s gaze, and the hands he’s bringing to Alex’s jaw.

This’ll be an open tag because I’m posting it late-ish my time, so I KNOW it’s late for other people. Also because it’s been forever lol

[detectivesus]

Wait wait wait guys I have a thought. You mentioned the bikini pic and I can just picture rose with the other youngins (lord forgive me for this but) Mal, horan, and Sonnett heading back to the states or wherever and like Horan making a comment about Huertas veiny hands (🥵) and sonnett being like “ you should reply respectfully choke me” and them fighting to get roses phone to respond that way lmaooo it seems like something those idiots would do

😭😭😭😭 and rose complaining to kristie about how stupid they are HAHAHAH

[bebecitokook]

tae baby,,, i love u

[koris-crumbs]

I’m Here For The Entertainment

Prev-Chapter six-Next

A My Hero Academia group chat story

Warnings: Cursing, and Shoto does make one slightly sexual comment but that’s pretty much it

Pairings: Pining dekubaku, established and cute momojirou, and some flirty Seroroki

A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter again, it’s mainly a shitpost chapter if anything, but I still find it funny either way. Hope you guys do too!

~~~

TheNewBestie is online.

BigBakuSimp is online.

NonbinaryBastard is online.

NonbinaryBastard: LMAOOO

BigBakuSimp: betrayed by my best friend

TheNewBestie: midoriya please

BigBakuSimp: I’m leaving our monthlong friendship

TheNewBestie: midoriya

MochiCheeks is online.

Yaomomo is online.

Yaomomo: Oh no what happened?

MochiCheeks: shoto didn’t tell me he had a crush on hanta either deku it’s okay

MochiCheeks: me and the bestie getting through grief together

BigBakuSimp: girl I

BigBakuSimp: ocha

MochiCheeks: what

NonbinaryBastard: he loves me 🥴😩

TheNewBestie: oh so I see we just spilling secrets now

TheNewBestie: hey jirou ochako was the one who ate the mochi you were saving

MochiCheeks: YOURE DEAD TO ME

MochiCheeks: I FORGOT HANTA WAS IN HERE NOW IM SORRY

NonbinaryBastard: I’ve been in here for the past weeks babes

NonbinaryBastard: in your defense most of us haven’t been online tho

NonbinaryBastard: imagine being me and having to take extra classes tonight bc Midnight conked me out

MochiCheeks: imagine being Mineta and the only reason you’re being a hero is bc that’s the only way you think you’ll get pussy 🤢

TheNewBestie: he’s not coming for just pussy

BigBakuSimp: HELP

BigBakuSimp: I NOW KNOW TRUE FEAR

MochiCheeks: NO HES AFTER DEKU

BigBakuSimp: he’s been lurking ),:

BigBakuSimp: me and Todoroki after making a narrow escape from Mineta

MochiCheeks: me and the boys after floating Mineta into the sun

Yaomomo: I don’t condone unnecessary violence but I agree

BigBakuSimp: oh honey this is v necessary

NonbinaryBastard: so shoto about that little comment saying you had a crush on me

TheNewBestie: oh look at that I gotta get back to training

NonbinaryBastard: you can’t run forever

TheNewBestie: no seriously Aizawa looks like he’s about to punt me

NonbinaryBastard: oh nvm then bby go be a good student

BigBakuSimp: I’m so glad Tiger gave me a break but he keeps coming by giving me the side eye

BigBakuSimp: I think he wants me to get up 😖

BigBakuSimp: SHO I THOUGHT YOU SAID MR AIZAWA WAS BY YOU

TheNewBestie: he was???

BigBakuSimp: YOURE LIKE AT LEAST A MILE AWAY FROM ME HOW DID HE GET HERE SO FAST

MochiCheeks: MR WORLDWIDE

BigBakuSimp: don’t you dare bring pitbull into this

MochiCheeks: on another note I’m about to vomit

MochiCheeks: aoyama bout to have irritable bowel syndrome

BigBakuSimp: DHAODNWODNEOR HELP

MochiCheeks: IM SERIOUS

MochiCheeks: sero stopping by for a visit gimme a sec

Yaomomo: I feel a bit queasy too now that Ochako mentioned it

BigBakuSimp: aren’t they making you eat and create non-stop??

Yaomomo: yes ):

Yaomomo: me and Sato

Yaomomo: midoriya do you know if Kyokas taking her break yet?

BigBakuSimp: I cant see her from here, I’m sorry ):

Yaomomo: it’s okay

Yaomomo: I have you after all

BigBakuSimp: yeah!

BigBakuSimp: I’ll be moral support for as long as Tiger lets me

Yaomomo: are you alright from yesterday’s little incident with Kota?

BigBakuSimp: physically yes emotionally never again

Yaomomo: 😭😭😭

TheNewBestie: not bakugo laughing as if he doesn’t wanna be the one touching your dick

BigBakuSimp: TODOROKI

Yaomomo: DONT MAKE ME LAUGH IM GONNA CHOKE

TheNewBestie: WHY ARE YOU TEXTING WHILE TRAINING

BigBakuSimp: WHY ARE YOU??

MochiCheeks: on the toilet yall

BigBakuSimp: GIRL DID AOYAMA GIVE YOU HIS IRRITABLE BOWELS?

TheNewBestie: are we all gonna ignore how Ochako announced her presence

MochiCheeks: yeah

Yaomomo: I CHOKED AND SATO GAVE ME A CONCERNED LOOK

Yaomomo: HE SAW THE CHAT YALL

BigBakuSimp: ITS OKAY SATO WONT TELL

MochiCheeks: sato number one

Yaomomo: I ASKED HIM NOT TO TELL AND HE SAID HE WOULDNT BUT HE WANTED TO BE ADDED LATER ON

BigBakuSimp: FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WONT MAKE FUN OF MY CRUSH ON KACCHAN

NonbinaryBastard: GUYS I DID AN OOPSIES

NonbinaryBastard: I RAN INTO BAKUGO AND HE SAW MY PHONE SCREEN SOMEHOW AND STARTED YELLING ABOUT WHY I WAS TEXTING MIDORIYA

MochiCheeks: it’s giving jealousy

NonbinaryBastard: RUNNING FOR MY LIFE RN

NonbinaryBastard: MIDORIYA HELP

BigBakuSimp: suddenly I cannot see

BigBakuSimp: HOW DID HE KNOW IT WAS ME

NonbinaryBastard: I WAS LOOKING AT OUR PRIVATE DMS AND HE SAW THAT NOT THE GC DW

BigBakuSimp: IM STILL WORRYING

BigBakuSimp: LITERALLY THE LAST THING WE TALKED ABOUT WAS PITBULL IM SHITTING

NonbinaryBastard: HE KNOWS ABOUT MR WORLDWIDE OH NO

MochiCheeks: well while you two are having a crisis, I’m off the toilet

Yaomomo: I have stopped choking (:

TheNewBestie: and we’ve all gotta get back to training before Iida or Aizawa rips us a new one

Yaomomo: right, I’ll text you guys soon for updates!

MochiCheeks: talk to you guys later!

TheNewBestie: bye bitches

BigBakuSimp: SERO DONT BRING HIM OVER HERE

NonbinaryBastard: IF I GO DOWN IM TAKING YOU DOWN WITH ME