#the scene doesn't even need to be included its just there to help you

[cepheusgalaxy]

Something I used to do and have No Idea of why I stopped and should totally go back to doing: If I'm stuck on a scene, I pick another PoV, maybe even starting before, and write it from the perspective of another character. Helps diving into the mind of the other characters in the story and gives you more ✨perspective✨. Also, don't be afraid of startign the extra PoV sooner or later than the actual scene. If it helps, it helps!

[monabee-draws]

Dorian confessing his intention to return to Tevinter for good is so heartbreaking in the Tresspasser DLC. Because of course he does! It doesn't come out of nowhere, he tells the inquisitor as much before they even defeat Corypheus - he loves his home country and knows that he personally needs to be the one to fix it. Not any foreign power (including you and the Inquisition) but through internal change. And he's so blasé about it when he tells you, keeping his tone light, excited for his future work with Maevaris and the Lucerni! Of course, he didn't want you to find out like that but this is a good thing. He's happy! He's practically jovial!

And then you think about how familiar that tone of voice is. And remember his romance scene, and the nonchalant way he asks you if this whole relationship is just a one-time thing. And how he jokes and jibes with you in the bad-end future during In Hushed Whispers, to the point where Leliana calls him out on the obvious attempt at levity. Barring your brushes with his family, who elicit a kind of knee-jerk anger that cracks his usual mask, Dorian is very good at maintaining that emotional wall. So you listen as your heart breaks, as you consider how to respond to the lightness of him in this devastating moment, and you realise-

Dorian is terrified. The kind of scared where you can't really voice it, not in public, not even in private spaces when you aren't 100% in control. It's scary losing a parent, even one you're not quite reconciled with. To have to take his place and fill a role you've never fit, and somehow finally actually push forward with all the ideals you've been imagining to be so far away for many years. And to do all that on the opposite side of the world from the people who all made you finally believe it could be possible in the first place?

Dorian is so very used to being the brave one, the optimistically realistic one, that he can't possibly burden you - whose heart is breaking, whose Inquisition is failing, whose body is slowly killing them - with all of his own ugly fear. That wouldn't be very charming and dependable and Dorian of him, would it? More to the point, leaning on you would be both more burdensome to you and chafe against his own stubborn pride - not accepting favours is well-established during his romance-specific quest to retrieve his birthright. So instead of taking you aside somewhere quiet, consulting you about his final decision on the matter, and giving both of you the space to grieve, he...

Well he tells Varric. And Sera, and Bull, and Cole. Part of it is practice - how might they react? Part of it is in hope for advice on how to break the news. Varric and Bull are adept speakers. Cole's whole job is compassion. Even Sera's bluntness might help when you're chronically incapable of not sugarcoating things. But all it really does it make things worse, because its a distancing tactic. Nothing can truly prepare him for the crack in your voice, the sharp sting of your flinch and the perceived betrayal.

It's almost ironic, that his romantic lock-in asks you to decide if you're in for the long haul, when Dorian's entire arc is one that will inevitably draw him back to Tevinter. And specifically in such a way as to leave you. Because he does not want you tagging along (at least not now, not as the Inquisitor.) Dorian's fear in this moment is not fully centered on you, the man he loves, but there is certainly a part of him that is back in the Inquisitor's chambers on the opposite side of that question of 'do you want me to stay.'

Dorian Pavus' greatest fear is temptation, emblazoned on his tombstone in the Fade for all to see. And there you are, with your political power, ready to jump in and save the day once again on his behalf. And he's tempted. There you are with your familiarity and a space for him in the South that accepts him for who he is. And he's tempted.

There you are. Loving him. And well...

So he doesn't lower his voice to whisper to you, or hold you too close. He confesses in public where the crowds prohibit hysterics, he sips on precious wine, and he gifts you his sending stone. It is both distance and closeness all tied with a bow. A temptation that he can just about handle. Fear under wraps. Because if he lets you, you will - without even knowing - stop his entire life in its tracks. You represent everything he can never afford to lose to. And it is wretched how desperately he doesn't want to lose you.

[supersoakerfullofblood]

Point of View: the Biggest Thing You're Missing!

Point of view is one of the most important elements of narrative fiction, especially in our modern writing climate, but you rarely hear it seriously discussed unless you go to school for writing; rarely do help blogs or channels hit on it, and when they do, it's never as in-depth as it should be. This is my intro to POV: what you're probably missing out on right now and why it matters. There are three essential parts of POV that we'll discuss.

Person: This is the easiest part to understand and the part you probably know already. You can write in first person (I/me), second (You), and third person (He/she/they). You might hear people talk about how first person brings the reader closer to the central character, and third person keeps them further away, but this isn't true (and will be talked about in the third part of this post!) You can keep the reader at an intimate or alien distance to a character regardless of which person you write in. The only difference--and this is arguable--is that first person necessitates this intimacy where third person doesn't, but you still can create this intimacy in third person just as easily. In general, third person was the dominant (and really the only) tense until the late 19th century, and first person grew in popularity with the advent of modernism, and nowadays, many children's/YA/NA books are written in first person (though this of course doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't write those genres in the third person). Second person is the bastard child. Don't touch it, even if you think you're clever, for anything the length of a novel. Shorter experimental pieces can use it well, but for anything long, its sounds more like a gimmick than a genuine stylistic choice.

Viewpoint Character: This is a simple idea that's difficult in practice. Ask yourself who is telling your story. This is typically the main character, but it needn't be. Books like The Book Thief, The Great Gatsby, Rebecca, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Sherlock series are told from the perspective of a side character who isn't of chief importance to the narrative. Your viewpoint character is this side character, the character the reader is seeing the world through, so the main character has to be described through them. This isn't a super popular narrative choice because authors usually like to write from the perspective of their most interesting character, but if you think this choice could fit your story, go for it! You can also swap viewpoint characters throughout a story! A word of warning on that: only change your viewpoint character during a scene/chapter break. Switching mid-scene without alerting the reader (and even when you do alert the reader) will cause confusion. I guarantee it.

Means of Perception; or, the Camera: This part ties the first two together. If you've ever heard people talk about an omniscient, limited, etc. narrator, this is what they mean. This part also includes the level of intimacy the reader has with the viewpoint character: are we in their heads, reading their thoughts, or are we so far away that we can only see their actions? If your story is in a limited means of perception, you only have access to your character's head, eyes, and interpretations, where an omniscient narrator sees through all characters' heads at once. (This doesn't eliminate the viewpoint character--most of your writing will still be in that character's head, but you're allowed to reach into other characters' thoughts when needed. You could also be Virginia Woolf, who does fluidly move through everyone's perspectives without a solid viewpoint character, but I would advise against this unless you really are a master of the craft.) Older novels skew towards third person omniscient narration, where contemporary novels skew towards first person limited. You also have a spectrum of "distant" and "close." If omniscient and limited are a spectrum of where the camera can swivel to, distant and close is a spectrum of how much the camera can zoom in and out. Distant only has access to the physical realities of the world and can come off as cold, and close accesses your character's (or characters', if omniscient) thoughts. Notice how I said narration. Your means of perception dramatically effects how your story can be told! Here's a scene from one of my stories rewritten in third-person distant omniscient. The scene is a high school football game:

“Sometimes,” he said. “Not much anymore.” “It’s not better, then?” She shivered; the wind blew in. “A little.” His tone lifted. “I don’t know if it’ll ever be better, though.” She placed a hand on his arm, stuttered there, and slipped her arm around his waist. “Did it help to be on your own?” He raised an eyebrow. “You were there.” “Yes and no.” “And the guys, the leaders.” “Come on,” she heckled. “Okay, okay.” Carmen sighed. “Yeah, it helped. I don’t think—I don’t know—I’d be me if they’d fixed it all.” She grinned. “And who might you be?” “Oh, you know. Scared, lonely.” He fired them haphazardly, and a bout of laughter possessed him which Piper mirrored. “Impatient.” “And that’s a good thing?” “No.” He sat straight. “Gosh, no. But I don’t want to be like him, either.” He pointed to the field; Devon recovered a fumbled ball. “He’s never been hurt in his life.” She met his eyes, which he pulled away. “You don’t mean that," Piper said. “Maybe not. He’s too confident, though.” The cloth of Carmen's uniform caved and expanded under Piper's fingers.

With distant-omniscient, we only get the bare actions of the scene: the wind blows in, Piper shivers, the cloth rises and falls, Carmen points, etc. But you can tell there's some emotional and romantic tension in the scene, so let's highlight that with a first person limited close POV:

“Sometimes,” he said. “Not much anymore.” “It’s not better, then?” Frost spread up from her legs and filled her as if she were perforated rock, froze and expanded against herself so that any motion would disturb a world far greater than her, would drop needles through the mind’s fabric. A misplaced word would shatter her, shatter him. “A little.” His tone lifted. “I don’t know if it’ll ever be better, though.” She placed a hand on his arm, thought better, and slipped her arm around his waist. “Did it help to be on your own?” He raised an eyebrow. “You were there.” “Yes and no.” “And the guys, the leaders.” “Come on,” she heckled. “Okay, okay.” Carmen sighed. “Yeah, it helped. I don’t think—I don’t know—I’d be me if they’d fixed it all.” She grinned. “And who might you be?” “Oh, you know. Scared, lonely.” He fired them haphazardly, and a bout of laughter possessed him which Piper mirrored. “Impatient.” “And that’s a good thing?” “No.” He sat straight. “Gosh, no. But I don’t want to be like him, either.” He pointed to the field; Devon recovered a fumbled ball. “He’s never been hurt in his life.” “You don’t mean that.” She spoke like a jaded mother, spoke with some level of implied authority, and reminded herself again to stop. “Maybe not. He’s too confident, though.” Piper felt the cloth of his waist cave and expand under her fingers and thought: is this not confidence?

Here, we get into Piper's thoughts and physical sensations: how the frost rises up her, and how this sensation of cold is really her body expressing her nervous fears; how she "thought better" and put her arm around his waist; her thought "is this not confidence?"; and how she reminds herself not to talk like a mother. Since I was writing from the close, limited perspective of a nervous high schooler, I wrote like one. If I was writing from the same perspective but with a child or an older person, I would write like them. If you're writing from those perspectives in distant narration, however, you don't need to write with those tones but with the authorial tone of "the narrator."

This is a lot of info, so let's synthesize this into easy bullet points to remember.

Limited vs. Omniscient. Are you stuck to one character's perspective per scene or many?

Close vs. Distant. Can you read your characters' thoughts or only their external worlds? Remember: if you can read your character's thoughts, you also need to write like you are that character experiencing the story. If child, write like child; if teen, write like teen; etc.

Here's another way to look at it!

This is a confusing and complex topics, so if you have any questions, hit up my ask box, and I'll answer as best I can. The long and short of it is to understand which POV you're writing from and to ruthlessly stick to it. If you're writing in limited close, under no circumstances should you describe how a character other than your viewpoint character is feeling. Maintaining a solid POV is necessary to keeping the dream in the reader's head. Don't make them stumble by tripping up on POV!

[sofiahchan]

How would Deepspace boys act when their wife (MC) is in labour? ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

— 𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋

Rafayel was letting you hold his hand tight as he was sweating, he simply doesn't know what to do. He is nervous, offering you anything you want, even if it's a small piece of napkin or water. He would always give you a lot of praise while you gave birth. How come your journey together ends here, yet you have a new start? He feels so happy and so nervous right now in this moment that he will be a dad.

Rafayel doesn't know much about childbirth, just the basics. It's hard for him to see you in so much pain, and he wishes he could help and take all your pain away. He wants to give you strong support and he whisper compliments to you.

Looking at you, he could notice how you’re panicking inside. He tried his best to comfort you, making sure you were comfortable and knowing how much he’s proud of you. He’s grateful to have you as his wife and now the mother of his child. When the sound of a baby crying can be heard, Rafayel can feel his eyes getting teary as he stares at his newborn baby. He can't stop praising how strong you are, he is fully overjoyed. He lets you hold the baby in your arms. Performing the skin-to-skin contact as he looks down on such a memorable sight. I was thinking how adorable it is that now he has a baby that is a mixture of you and him together in your arms. evidence of how you both love each other and are willing to raise a child together. Finally, he gives you a comforting kiss on your forehead while keeping an eye out for you and his new little sunshine.

— 𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄 

Zayne knows what you need most during pregnancy. Heating pads, pillows, even your favorite food? You named it. He got everything prepared for you, ensuring that your pregnancy would go smoothly as he tried his best to help you out. Even if he’s busy, he always answers your texts and calls quickly, making permission letters to the higher-ups so he can take care of you without neglecting his work too. In your final moments, he would still ensure that you have all the stuff that’s needed. He offers you a glass of water with a straw and even a handkerchief to wipe your sweat. Giving you a gentle squeeze as he holds onto your hand.

In his free time, he tries to learn more about your pregnancy, including which month you will be able to identify its gender, in which month you will need more supplies, and about the last trimester of your pregnancy. He convinced himself that everything would go well, so he had to be ready to deal with whatever challenges might appear. This way, he would always reassure you that everything would go well for the baby and yourself.

Once he sees the baby inside the hospital bassinet, a warm smile appears on his face. He was pleased to see the blessings that are now given to both of you. A warm hand suddenly lingers on your head, and you can feel how he is caressing your hair. He gave you a soft kiss on your forehead as he looked down at you. Looking down at you and the baby inside the hospital bassinet next to her hospital bed, “How lucky I am to be blessed with such a strong wife,” he whispers as he holds onto one of your hands.

— 𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑

Xavier’s gentle nature shines through as he conceals his inner nervousness with a tender smile reflecting in his eyes. Not wanting his emotions to overshadow the moment, he soothingly murmurs words of encouragement not only to you but to the little life growing within your womb. With a caring touch, he delicately sweeps strands of your hair behind your ears, a gesture filled with affection and tenderness. Embracing you in a warm hug, he holds you close, his embrace a source of comfort and security as he endeavors to create an atmosphere of relaxation and ease for you.

He is struggling to avert his gaze from the unfolding scene, fully aware that the sight of blood could easily cause him to lose consciousness. Imagining a different scenario where you were not experiencing labor pains, this whole situation might have a hint of humor to it.

Seeing the tiny baby on his arms, Xavier held his tears as his fingers closed up to the baby's face, watching him pick it up. "He's so cute and lovely; you did a great job." You see Xavier smiling while hearing his praises for you and hoping the baby looks more like you. After going through all that, Xavier tries his best to cook for both you and the baby for the first time. He managed to make something edible and started to spoil you with his home-made food.

[n0n-sen-se]

💌 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐊𝐍𝐘 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐫. . .

includes ;; genya, muichiro content ;; pure fluff. a/n ;; stresstember eh? the perfect time to indulge in some adorable escapism! (´｡• ◡ •｡`) ♡

☆☆☆ # genya shinazugawa !

genya regularly receives check-ups at the Butterfly Mansion, thus you tend to bump into him a ton!

this is where things start to take a turn. . . he stops getting so angry and quick to shut you down. . . and instead, he starts watching you train a little more, keeping idle tabs on your schedule, daydreaming of you when he should be focusing on training. . .

then it hits him:

he's got a crush ?!

to this boy love literally feels lethal.

he can't function. at all. he's unable to stand or talk to you for more than a few seconds without becoming flustered and wracked with nerves.

so loving you from afar is the simplest-easiest option.

he stares a ton, and tries hard not to get caught.

daydreams when he shouldn't- and at the worst times- you can only get punched in the face while training so many times before you start to wonder if having a crush is really worth it.

i'm pretty sure anyone could see the reason this quick-tempered boy suddenly turns shy when he's around you.

and he hates admitting it. (what is he supposed to do? he's never been in love before?)

there are times when he's 100% undoubtably sure that you're busy- or far, far away from the scene of the crime. . . he'll sneak into your room (after double checking that the coast is clear, again) he'll leave a few wildflowers next to your nightstand.

just the thought that he's showing romantic affection towards you has his heart palpitating. . . even if it is, technically indirect.

has him paranoid as hell, like somehow even after all his precautions, you'll just know it was him. if you suspect him, or bring it up, he'll vehemently deny everything.

(whenever he leaves flower btw, it'll be up to a week before he works up the courage to bring another bunch, and in between he tries to garner the courage to talk to you. . . without success)

he'd actually get pretty comfortable with this scenario, and eventually saves up enough to produce a small vase to hold all the flowers.

and it feels like the biggest step yet!

its a painfully simple pot, and he feels he could do better, but he's tied a woven red string around the neck to help. . . at least a little.

you know. . . in the future he could tie notes to it. the thought has his ears burning red hot, and he flees the scene just as quickly.

☆☆☆ # muichiro tokito !

honestly, it doesn't fully occur to him that he is a secret admirer at first.

he just one day happens to notice you because you caught his eye. nothing in particular, there was just something. . . bright about your presence.

your eyes? your smile? who could really say. all he knows is that your very interesting to look at when you're around.

even your voice catches his attention, like the sound of bells to his ears. its calming and also so alluring? how are you able to charm him like this?

the couple times you caught him staring he looked away quickly, then he starts wondering why he's afraid of being caught?

that's when the idea of an idea starts to form in his head.

a crush!

honestly, i think he'd smile to himself at the thought. its all very confusing and all very new and exciting!

he'd stare a ton and try to be subtle. . . but then fail at that too. (at this point he's just standing beside a tree rather than behind it?)

muichiro gifts you things that remind him of you: things that are eye-catching and interesting to him.

. . . something that holds his attention as much as you do. . .

mostly things he's found, like the shiniest shells or rocks, broken ornaments or porcelain he's found. the best would probably be a tiny pearl he. . . acquired.

instructs his crow to deliver them to you, which in turn means you get hit in the head with said object- you don't need a more obvious clue to know that his crow hates. your. guts. (don't worry she's just a little jealous)

at first, he completely forgets that he's sent anything to you at all.

until he see's you holding them and it all connects.

silently hopes you to make the connection too. and i don't think he'd mind being caught at all. (its kind of like a fun game he's playing, that subsequently causes the faintest blush to appear across the bridge of his nose)

thinks about you maybe a bit too much, and starts to get excited at the prospect of being in love or a relationship! what would it be like to hold your hand, or even have all of your attention for once? (now he's just smiling up at the clouds like an adorable idiot)

if he writes anything (a note?) its just doodles and drawings he's done that he then hands over to his crow to deliver.

actually very fond of leaving you snacks too. . . or straight up offering to share while (innocently) asking you what ❛all those things in your hands❜ are.

[yandereunsolved]

Yandere self-aware Cristons—duty before love or love before duty? tw: mentions of sa

Yandere Show Ser Criston who gently adjusts the script so he is able to be shown more. He just captured your attention. He cannot lose it quite yet. He makes his training scenes even more of a spectacle. He feels unworthy to know of a being so great that it casts its gaze down upon him, so he has to impress you. You get hours and hours of footage of tournaments that were never part of the original script. You mused that this must have been a marathon of unreleased footage. It all centered around Ser Criston and his fighting abilities, which made so many others envious.

Yandere Book Ser Criston first noticed you after he earned his position as a kingsguard. He noticed your eyes drifting from the words on the oddly modern parchment to the box that flashed a person supposedly imitating him. He could not bear it in that moment. It is as if the gods had looked down upon him, and you looked down upon him with such a loving gaze. He had to guard the nobles and king, and eventually that duty was extended to include you.

Yandere Show Ser Criston takes it a step further and includes you in his daily routine. He feels almost like a youngling again, feeling himself flush when he removes his shirt and purposefully angles himself for your viewing pleasure. He has been stripped of his autonomy all his life and was simply a plaything for younger Rhaenyra. It felt so satisfying to finally have control over when he showed his body, how he went about displaying it, and the privilege of giving it to you instead of it being taken from him—forcefully.

Yandere Book Ser Criston is curious as a newborn babe. He wishes to impress unforgettable memories on your mind. His eyes always soak in the world beyond the book that he is caged within. He manages to knock open the cover more than once just so he can observe more. He is respectful, but he can't help but want more.

Yandere Book Ser Criston becomes consumed by his duty in an effort to keep himself away from you. He can't stop thinking about you. He forces his body to the brink and then survives off of exhaustion. If he doesn't, then he may scare you off. He may not fulfill his purpose as a kingsguard. He became the knight he is today for a chance at something greater than the life he has been given. He so selfishly wants more and wishes for you to give. He forces his true emotions inward and hides himself from the pages you consume. If he disappears, perhaps you will forget about him. He can forget about you. He will be able to return to who he was before. He can't, no matter how hard he tries. 

Yandere Show Ser Criston who uses Queen Alicent as a replacement for you. He may be unable to go to your world, but at least he is able to show you what he wishes to do to you. He can give all his devotion to a woman who is merely second to you. For if you know his skill in the ways of love, won't you lust after him the same way he lusts after you?

Both are not willing to share you with the other. Book Ser Criston knows that he is the superior kingsguard. Show Ser Criston retorts back that his devotion to you trumps any of Book Ser Criston's 'feelings' about you. One of the only things they can agree on is that you are in danger as long as you are not physically protected by them. They need to get you into their world, but how?

[jellojelli]

Welt, Blade, Luocha, & Svarog: You’re Pregnant

*a/n: for all intents and purposes Svarog has the necessary accessories lmao*

Tags: fem!reader, pregnancy, slight angst, fluff

Welt

If you were to tell Welt that you were pregnant he would love for you to tell him in a silly or a way that makes him think about it for a minute. Something like putting buns in the oven or sitting next to two piles of ice while giving him a goofy look

When you told Welt you were pregnant expect to be literally lifted into the air as he looks at you with so much love it’s almost unbearable

He’s never been happier than to hear you say you were pregnant

It doesn’t matter if you two are only dating at this point or married or if this baby was planned or not, Welt is so happy. He loves you, he’s pretty sure you are going to be his last love no matter what so he’s happy to start a family with you

If you’re scared or unsure about going through with the pregnancy don’t feel conflicted on his account. He is going to love you through it all. No matter your decision he’s okay with it. And if you’re worried about being a parent Welt will gladly hold your hand and help you learn and become more confident in raising kids. He's also more than happy to essentially show you how he deals with March, Dan Heng, and the trailblazer

Welt is pretty rational, but I feel like this man has already bought and/or built everything a kid ages 0-4 could ever need and assembled a nursery on the express before you’re even done with your first trimester. Not to mention everyone is so ecstatic for you both that they’re also buying and decorating the entire express

Please don't expect to lift a finger during your entire pregnancy because if it's not Welt doing it for you its literally every other person, minus Dan Heng if it's something that you can clearly do on your own (he still offers his help because lets be honest he is a gentleman and if you’re with Welt he has mad respect for you)

Blade

Blade is a somewhat reasonable man, he's strong, and while sometimes he doesn't necessarily think everything out when he goes out to fight he can always find a way out. However, this news has left him literally shell shocked. It's gonna take you or another Stellaron hunter to snap him out of his thoughts

He is not going to sugarcoat the fact that he isn't exactly thrilled by this news, and if you tried to be cute with it he's not to happy you weren't just upfront and straightforward about something like this with him. But, Blade will not leave you or hate you for whatever you decided to do regarding the baby

He makes sure you know that he is less than ideal for a father, he's losing his mind, sometimes it's hard to control his violent tendencies, and he's not the most tactful person in the universe. He understands that these things make others view him as toxic, and he would never deny that, so he wants you to know that this child is likely going to go through hardships because of him

Blade didn't make the connection when you first told him about your pregnancy, but eventually he'll realize that his regeneration ability has a chance to pass onto the child and the scene of destruction you discovered after that was horrendous and also the most emotion you've seen on Blade's face. he looks haunted by the idea that his child will live like him and have to suffer an eternity without any out. It takes a lot of comfort and logistic talk with Blade, you, and the other Stellaron Hunter including Elio for him to feel even a shred of peace about this possibility

Surprisingly, Blade will set up an amazing nursery for you and the baby. You have no idea where he got the items, and its probably best not to ask, but the nursery is beautiful if not a bit bland

Blade will leave all color, toy, clothes, and baby care items to you. Not that he isn't trying to be involved with you and the kid, but he doesn't really know or care about those things, so he will leave them in your ever capable hands since you are bound to know leagues more than him. He will of course accompany you in shopping and offer whatever opinions he may have with some of your choices

Please expect Kafka and Silver Wolf to throw a baby shower for you. Not only that, Kafka is incredibly happy for you and Blade and helps you out anytime Blade isn't there. Silver Wolf also joins in with helping you, but it's less so since she's still young and to be honest doesn't know how to properly help you other than just handing you stuff and being there for you when your hormones are getting the better of you

Elio also gives you some cryptic, but somewhat kind words for you, Blade, and the baby's future together

Luocha

Luocha probably knows before you do. He's not a licensed doctor or trained in pregnancy symptoms and care, but like? He's traveled for who knows how long and he's seen a thing or two out there, and he's 99% sure that you are pregnant before you ever sit him down to tell him about it. I mean the weeks of morning sickness were a huge sign, especially when his treatments failed to do anything for you

Don't take offense, but Luocha isn't either ecstatic about the baby or displeased about them. He is happy to start a family with you, but he also brings up that this is going to be tough for you, him, and the newest little member if you plan on coming with him around the universe. He can't exactly stop being a traveling merchant as how would either of you make ends meet if he quit his job and eventually you can't work for an extended amount of time, but he would never force you to travel around with him where you may be in some less than comfortable areas during your pregnancy

No matter how you plan to do this, Luocha is 100% on board with your plans. He loves you, you are his everything, and even if he has to travel back and forth or carry you, the baby, and his coffin he will do what he must to be with you

Luocha will likely set up a house for you regardless on if you plan to come with him or not. He wants a stable location for his family once the little guy is out

You can bet that he has the house furnished and everything built and in place in no time. I feel like he's got connections and knows people that know people to get the job done asap

He leaves some fun aspects for you to do though, picking out nursery designs, clothes, toys, decorations for the home, he will leave it all for you and do what he can to get you everything you need or desire for the baby and y’all's new home

And don’t worry, if you go into labor on the road you are with the most capable healer and will make sure you and the baby are safe and happy

Svarog

Okay so, telling him you're pregnant is pretty much going to make Svarog do the equivalent of a blue screen. You’ve legit made this robot man crash and reboot

Svarog 100% knew that he could get you pregnant, you know this man has run 1000 and 1 different simulations and calculations to see if pregnancy was even possible for you two. And obviously the chance was a 0.0001% probability and he ignored that the possibility wasn't zero because those odds were supposed to be impossible, but here you were telling him you both beat the impossible and and beat the 99.9999% chance of this not happening

You would have to call in Clara to help Svarog and also tell her the amazing news. Clara is so excited by becoming a big sister that it kind of helps Svarog regain his composure and reboot his systems

He will want to discuss a lot about what is being created inside of you. This is a situation that he is not equipped to deal with and there is no simulation or calculation he can run that will tell him anything about what is going to happen now

However, Svarog is ever responsible and dependable and will never leave you uncared for during this time. Please rest assured that he will have you and Clara on baby proofing and baby planning duties until the baby comes, all while granting your every desire to assure your 100% happiness

Would never admit it, but he’s happy to have a second child, and he’s even happier that Clara is so hyper about the newest addition, if not a bit sad that she’s already maturing more and more in preparation for becoming a big sister

Expect some very confused and joyful congratulations from some of the prominent figures in Belobog. Bronya and Seele are the most confused, but offer their congratulations and Bronya even offers to accommodate you in the best hospital when you go into labor. Natasha is also happy for you and offers to be the one help with the delivery. Sampo…Sampo gives a lot of teasing comments that probably get a rocket fist sent his way and a pouting and scolding Clara on his heels

Taglist: @stygianoir

[st4rbe0m]

PAIRING ▸ Choi Yeonjun x reader

SUMMARY ▸ On a hazy summer evening, where the air hung low above everyone like a buzzing, heated static, you met Choi Yeonjun in a new light. And he met you, not for the first time maybe, but definitely in a more impacting way. A second, first meeting. And with that second, first meeting came the idea to strike a deal - a mutual agreement to help both parties out favorably, till the end of summer. Luckily, or unluckily, it just so happens that the summer doesn't last forever.

GENRE ▸ strangers to lovers, highschool au, fake dating au, suggestive scenes, includes kissing, jock Yeonjun, kinda nerdy (?) reader (they're friends with Soobin and Beomgyu if that helps), fluff with angst, includes underage drinking and swearing.

PLAYLIST ▸ High School in Jakarta by NIKI, I Like Me Better by Lauv, Bubble Gum by NewJeans, Ghosting by TXT, Ditto by NewJeans, small town by Clara Benin.

WC ▸ 12.9K words

A/N ▸ She's finally here 😭🥹 I'm quite proud of this one guys. It's loosely based off my own high school relationship (which unfortunately, didn't end as great as this fic did). It's also my first time writing such a long story, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it, and please do let me know how you guys felt about it. Love you!!

PART OF THE ANTHOLOGY SERIES

The world as you know it is ending. There’s meteors and asteroids crashing down, balls of fire and smoke rapidly descending on your world. The world you’d built since middle school. 

Not the world as we know it, of course. No, the world with its 8 billion population and sprawling cities and countries wasn’t coming to an end - but it was your world, with its own islands and own niches coming down to debris rapidly. 

Your world meant the things you did - it meant how you stayed up all night on school nights to play Minecraft with Soobin and Beomgyu, your two closest friends since childhood. It means the music you listened to. Usually that included whatever preppy tune that used to overtake the charts. The One Direction boys’ perfect harmonies were all the rage of 2014. Justin Bieber had the hearts of young girls by the fist. But that was middle school. That was 2014, which ended a few months ago. 2015 was the incoming year of the new batch of freshmen in their town’s high school. 2015, and there’s new artists and new bands and new games. It’s 2015 and the world you crafted with wide-eyed dreams and glitter pens is over, and the swooping lurch of reality hits you square in the chest just as the summer heat settles over everyone. 

The First Summer - summer before freshman year 

“Soobin, can you pay attention maybe? Fucking hell.” Beomgyu’s loud usually. Beomgyu’s louder when irritated however. And today he decided to be loud, irritated and angry, and the unnecessary screaming match between Soobin and Beomgyu was just the strike of the match of patience you had needed. “Enough!” Seriously, if you’re gonna fight this much, just beat each other up! I’d rather have you both in battle than this silly screaming match.” Your voice is shrill and the annoyance is heavy. Yet, it does nothing to affect the pair. Instead, all they did was give short laughs. “You can’t shout at us like that you '', the pouty eyes and whining tone of Beomgyu softened you up immediately, and you grinned back with a retaliation ready. “Beomgyu, let Soobin text his sweetheart next door, or else he’ll wilt like a plant deprived of sunlight.” The statement leaves the both of you in a fit of giggles the moment the entire sentence left your lips, and left Soobin to be the pouting one this time. “What do you both even know? To be in love with someone?”, the dramatics were oozing off Soobin, the sore subject of his very strong feeling for his next door neighbor making him more susceptible to teasing from you and Beomgyu. “And what do you know? You haven’t confessed either!”, accusatory, as you told him. It would be wonderful, absolutely delightful for Soobin to pull up his big boy pants and finally ask the other girl out. Not only because they’d make a delightful couple, but also because maybe he’d shut up about the qualms of unrequited (which honestly was quite requited if he just stopped being so blind) love. 

“How’s the existential crisis popping along, you? Are we still the lamest duo you could hang out with that will kill your nonexistent street cred?”. Chucking a throw pillow at the boy, you sighed, the dramatics being your concern now. “You guys don’t get it, do you? This is highschool. The real deal. The next four years of people’s cherished memories.” “You want to peak in highschool badly, don’t you?” “Shut up Soobin!”

They wouldn’t get it. They wouldn’t get how highschool mattered to you. How being 15, then 17, then 18 happens only once in life. You’re young in love as a teenager once, and you’re living life on the cusp only one. Romanticizing highschool was a silly cliche, and you were by no means a daydreaming romantic (Eh, maybe sometimes). But living, to experience, to feel, to love, meant something to you. It meant something to the little girl who watched those romcoms in the darkness of her room on a blue light screen. Watching how wonderful guys fell in love with wonderful girls. Watching how the boy loved the girl regardless of status quo. High School was a lake and you were a small pebble ready to skim its surface with accuracy and precision. 

“Are you Machiavelli or something? Stop making that scheming face, seriously. It’s giving me the creeps I’ll be honest. This just resulted in another pillow to the face.

The summer heat, a slow wave of buzzing energy that rolled over the entire town, made most of its residents lethargic. But lethargy wasn’t an option for 15 year olds, especially 15 year olds in the Y/L/N household. Several nags and a good scolding from your mother had you working at the convenience store two blocks down. A job that you were certain of, might just be the first of its kind in the way it could kill the employee of boredom. “At least you get the AC. And us!”. Huening Kai was an absolutely wonderful person. Honestly, there was no way to say anything negative according to you, which made Taehyun roll his eyes often. The two boys would frequent the store often. The first day because Kai was craving an ice pop to battle the heat. But once the pair had seen you prettily working the register all by your lonesome, and the boys not having anything interesting to while away their time with, began to visit you on your shifts, eating the almost expired stock and chitchatting. 

Even from the corny sentence Kai had just said, you could only bring herself to frown, but not get annoyed at the sunshine boy. The summer reinvention was in full swing. Calling it a reinvention made you uncomfortable sometimes. It was just a few tweaks right? It’s not like you were going to lose yourself completely.  A harmless fine-tuning of the machinery, shinier gears and fancier covering.

Convenient store afternoons were idyll - no customers, and usually no Kai and Taehyun, who’d take the most deep afternoon naps they could take. Today, however, they’d decided to forego the naps, and they hung around the back, to analyze which candy was the best for the summer. 

You're sitting at the till, bright light shining right through the spotless plexiglass, hair gently swooping over your face, illuminating the strands. There’s a slight breeze from the droning AC that cools whatever sweat was beading your forehead. A lazy afternoon, light and airy, with the low hanging summer making the world around simmer like a boiling pot. It was this afternoon, that the bell tinkled as the convenience store’s door opened, the sound jingling faintly over the sound of buzzing cicadas and grasshoppers. It was this afternoon, uneventful like the rest, until it wasn’t - that you looked up to meet the eyes of Choi Yeonjun. 

“Any ice cream?”, the older boy asked, eyes shining like two pebbles under a clear lake on a summer’s day. Breaking out of your stupor, you just nodded, a bit frantic considering how you were caught in such an awkward way. Brushing whatever hair that had surrounded your face, you got up with a slight metallic screech of the chair you sat at, stumbling to where the freezer was. Opening up the box, you gestured to an assortment of cold treats that were laid out for the customers. Humming to himself, Yeonjun just scanned the ice creams, then shifted his eyes to you. You, who was already staring at his sharp side profile, the way the sunlight seemed to poke out from the sharp bridge of his nose to the way his lips seemed more plump than they were with the way he was chewing at them. Making eye contact with him, he simply asked with a slight smirk, “What do you suggest?”. “Huh?”, you asked dumbly, not catching his question with the way you were busy ogling the older boy. “Which flavor do you like?”, “Oh! Personally, I’d say you can never go wrong with chocolate. The chocolate chip choco cones are wonderful for this season. But if you need something to beat the heat, a lime popsicle would be the best.” “You seem to have a PhD in ice cream.”, the boy teased, as he eyed the way your cheeks grew warmer and your pupils widening slightly at his jest. “Oh sorry if that was too much! Um yeah, I guess th-that’s my suggestion.”, hurriedly avoiding his eyes and going back to gesturing at ice creams. A pale veiny hand reached into the ice box to pick out two ice creams - a choco chip cone and a lime-berry popsicle. Slightly waving the two at you with a smile, he proceeded to strut up to the counter, head turned back at you as he said with a voice that made your heart constrict and release butterflies, “ Why not both then? Can’t go wrong with recommendations from the master, can I?”. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was quite obvious now. You were absolutely enamored by Choi Yeonjun. Hurrying up to the counter and reciting his bill, he paid the money and a bit extra with a wink, for the “pretty cashier at the register who has a thesis on sweet treats.”. And just as easily he’d appeared, with a flirtatious smile and charm to knock any girl off her feet, Yeonjun was gone from the store, with ice cream and quite possibly your senses and bearings. “TweedleDee and TweedleDum, you can come out now. I can see the tops of your head. I can also feel your annoying presence”, you groaned as a sheepish Hueningkai and Taehyun appeared, both clamoring about how they didn't “mean to eavesdrop” and how “they were leaving the back store room when they say the interaction between you and Yeonjun take place.” But honestly, that wasn’t your biggest concern right now. The two kids were harmless, anyways. What concerned you was how the image of those dazzling eyes wouldn’t leave your head. How smooth his voice was when he spoke to you. For someone ready to break out of the daydream land you found yourself in, Choi Yeonjun was insistent to keep you under. And for him, maybe going breathless was worth it. 

The Second Summer - summer before junior year

It’s 2018 and it’s the end of your life. Well, to be fair, your life has been “ending” since freshman year, and your two friends have been watching you become the one who cried wolf every single time. “You don’t get it Soob,” with the cellphone perched on your shoulder, “I don’t know how you and Beomgyu aren’t freaking the hell out right now.” Soobin lets out a disinterested hum, deciding to conference Beomgyu in, because why would he be the sole victim to this torture? Sitting down on the bed with a force and a breath of indignation leaving your lips, you just continue your rant. “Soobin and Beomgyu. This is the year it gets real. College prep. Entrance exams. Volunteering and extracurriculars. Don’t you get it? At least Rin gets it. Rin’s with me-” “And that must suck for you, Soobin” a teasing Beomgyu interrupted, while Soobin stayed wordless, probably sulking behind the phone, too pouty to retaliate. This sudden remembrance made you laugh, and joining in on the fun, you said, “Yeah Soobs, how have you still not gotten the balls to ask her out?”, but you regretted the words that came out of your mouth, immediately anticipating what was coming and what's next. And just as you predicted, Soobin launched off on his monologue, “Crushing on Yeonjun isn’t a problem then huh? What about that? You’ve spent a year and half pining for the most wanted guy in the school, Y/N? Isn’t that funny?”, all the words spilling out in a single breath of a sentence. “Alright Soobin, I’ll lay off your case if you lay off mine. Besides, it’s easier to target Beomgyu, no?”. And with that the bickering went off again, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

A lot has changed since that summer in freshman year, with the chance encounter with Yeonjun. For one, you stopped working there the moment summer ended, which disheartened you slightly considering you would see less of Huening Kai and Kang Taehyun, the two boys you’d grown quite fond of in this short span of time. But the missing soon expired the moment the duo entered highschool themselves in your sophomore year, growing slightly closer to your friend group despite the year’s gap in age. They were the new addition along with Rin, Soobin’s neighbor and longtime crush, to your lunch table. A moment in time where SAT scores and classes, crushes and heartbreaks ceased to exist, and it was just your friends and you, suspended in an emulsion of feelings of friendship, and youth. 

Another thing that had changed since that summer was you yourself. Though your reinvention didn’t go the way you had planned - you still had matured. The crybaby 14 year old had grown into someone who knew how to stand up for themselves. The same person who’d spend nights crying because of mismatched schedules was moving up the academic ladder. 

And reappearing on that same lunch table on the first day of sophomore year, and then sticking it out till the end of the academic swing, with a whole new set of expectations crammed into binders and assignments, and the promise of new memories to make, was your friend group and you - a couple of kids ready to take on the world. Hand in hand, laughter shared and fondness obvious, it was going to be a good summer. You could feel it, in the jokes Beomgyu shared and the shrieking laugh Kai let out without fail. Grinning along to their antics, your eyes scanned the lunchroom.

One thing hadn’t changed with the seasons, and that was your fascination with the school’s IT boy, Choi Yeonjun. A wonderful enigma - athletic, kind and good looks all combining to create the most perfect gentleman you in your years of living had had the chance of meeting. He sat at the table diagonal to yours, and with a piercing heart did you remember that with all the changes, Yeonjun changed too - in the sense that he’d gotten a girlfriend. A girlfriend whom he adored, which was obvious to anyone with two eyes. 16 nearing 17years old and a heartthrob with a heart of gold himself, it was written clear as day in the leaflets of destiny, that Choi Yeonjun would be someone who would make a mile-wide crater of an impact on people’s lives. And as your eyes moved away from where Yeonjun sat with an arm slung around his girlfriend, the disappointment was quite evident in them, that you found yourself locking eyes with Rin, who held a look of pity. Shaking your head and offering a smile that said, “No worries”, you shifted your attention back to your friends. 

Choi Yeonjun may be at a school lunch table less than a foot away from you. But anyone who had lived through the apocalyptic land of highschool could tell that in reality, he was miles away. 

And this summer, he would be light years away - no longer a friendly customer at a convenience store where you no longer worked, but rather a fading memory of a golden summer’s afternoon, where you could for the first time, feel sparks lighting up inside your eyeballs when they looked into his. The first time your heart would do somersaults to be in his presence. The first crush. Your first crush, the golden boy. 

Being in the middle of the food chain of status quo meant having its own advantages and disadvantages. And a certain disadvantage was that sure, you were moderately more liked then the people above you, and you weren’t picked on nor where you shunned into isolation. But it meant that a very mediocre position came with a mediocre life. Your friend group wasn’t the type to be firstly favored to be invited to parties and blowouts with the older kids like some of your peers were. And frankly, your friends weren’t the type to be dying for those coveted invitations either. They were the ones who’d rather watch the Scream movies in order despite the fact that the entire group, minus Taehyun, were deathly afraid of horror movies. And honestly, you were all content with that - to make bad predictions to the endings and have Taehyun poke fun at the way you all fell for the jumpscares every single time.

But to reach to maybe even the periphery of Yeonjun’s area meant having to put yourself out there, just a little bit. And the time was no better than now, when Miyawaki Sakura, the foreign exchange junior you had the opportunity to help out when she first arrived in the beginning of the year, invited you to a blowout on the last day of the school party being held at her place. The lovely Japanese girl, who’d been meek and as quiet as a mouse had blossomed just like the flower her name signified, and grown out of her shell to be one of the rather popular girls in not only her year, but the entire school. Not only was she drop dead gorgeous, but also possessed the kindest of hearts - evident in the way that even after her rise to popularity, she hadn't forgotten the helpful sophomore who had shown her the ropes around school. 

Scoring the invite wasn’t an issue but rather convincing your homebody, introverted friends to tag along was - Taeyhyun and Kai were already on their ways to their respective family homes, so it was between Rin, Soobin and Beomgyu and if luck would have it, all three. 

“Guys please. We always have some other time to do these things - Rin I promise you, I’ll sit and finish the lego set with you myself. Soobin, Gyu - be so serious right now. You’re missing the hottest party of the year to watch freaking anime? Guys please!”. The whining and pleading and pouting along with shining up big puppy-dog eyes at all of them was all you had in your arsenal. “Y/N.” A single, serious utter of your name has you shooting another helpless look Soobin, putting quite possibly all your charm into this one. “We’ll go. Shut the hell up now.”

Jumping up from where you were sat on the floor of his bedroom, you shot off to where he and Beomgyu were on the couch, browsing through streaming services for new animes, to engulf him a bone-crushing hug that had him releasing his own expletives and swears, begging to be released, but chuckling along, nonetheless. Pulling Rin along with you, with a complaint from Soobin and Beomgyu about where the two of you were going off without them, giving a loud laugh, you just called out - “It’s a party, we have to dress up!”

Rin was humming along to whatever pop music had begun auto-playing as the playlist you both had put together for the process had exhausted itself, and it was something neither of you paid mind to, too busy concentrating on fixing eyeliner wings and choosing the right accessories to match your outfits. It wasn’t that you and Rin weren’t friends - no it was great having a girl in the group to help you handle Beomgyu and Soobin’s antics. But it was rather that Rin was the closest to Soobin, which had made conversation stall a bit. Yet the silence was friendly and not awkward at all. A few more beats and a song later, Rin off-handedly mentioned something that had you freezing in your spot. “Now that Yeonjun’s single, it won’t hurt to make your move Y/N.” “Yeonjun single, since when?” you asked perplexed. “But they were sitting together at that table just last week?”. “That’s the thing, Y/N. Right on that very day, Yunha and Yeonjun unexpectedly broke up. There’s no news on why, or how. But many speculate from what they saw that Yeonjun was the one who cut it right off, the one who initiated it.”

Your mind was spinning. A perfect guy and a not-so-perfect girl. What could’ve gone wrong with them? What made them fall apart like that? And so much so - it wasn’t that you were one of those people who would see him as an object on the market again. No, he was fresh off a relationship he recently broke off - and it surely would leave a stain on any person’s life. So many questions and so many feelings, and the nagging reminder of your own crush on Yeonjun felt like an anchor inside you, pulling at your heartstrings in a way that made them creak the most bittersweet tune. A boy you’d loved from afar, was now slightly closer in the binoculars you viewed him with. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t still distances away. 

“I don’t think so Rin”, came your thought-out reply. “Freshly broken up with? I don’t stand a chance. Not to mention that it’s not only me, but half the school that likes him”. Looking up to where Rin sat snickering, you pointedly asked her, “What?”. Halting her laughter, she just said with a warm twinkle in her eye, half turned towards you, pulling a hair brush through her locks. “The school may have a crush on Yeonjun, but you, Y/N, are head over heels.”

And this was something that weighed heavily on your mind all the way to the party, crammed in Soobin’s mini SUV which he borrowed from his parents for the night after incessant begging and pleading. Rin had a point, you thought, when you glanced at her from where she sat up front next to Soobin, the two lost in their own lovesick bubble. You really were head over heels of Yeonjun, and it had you tripping on your feet and falling more often than not. Pulling up the street crammed with several other cars, the bass reverberating through a specific house on the cul-de-sac lined curb made it obvious what the destination was. Finally managing to tightly squeeze the car into a spot far down, the four of you made your way down to the house, now emitting different sorts of LED lights and boosting party hits, with a hand wrapped around Beomgyu’s, both of you stuck in your own conversation that was continuing from the car. 

Standing at the door were two heavy-set boys, part of the school football team - Seo Changbin and Lee Chan, both coincidentally being Yeonjun’s closest friends. The fourth of their little musketeer squad was Jung Wooyoung, the wild spirit of a boy, filled with spunk and charisma, was probably inside the house, tearing up whatever makeshift dance floor the party provided. Nodding slightly in recognition at you, no doubt already informed about your invite by Sakura, Changbin just shot you a charming grin, accented with the obvious amounts of copious liquor he’d already downed before your arrival, and said, “You know Y/N, I’m not going to lie, I always thought you were too pipsqueak to come to one of these”. He’d given a look to Chan to man the doors himself for a while, and an unspoken second agreement between the both you couldn’t quite decipher. “Well, I couldn’t turn down Sakura at all”, you laughed sheepishly, flanked by Soobin’s lanky frame who was clutching on to Rin, and Beomgyu next to Changbin, all of you crossing the threshold to the zone of booze, loud music and people ready to share some skin. Changbin seemed insistent to talk to you, for some reason, as he continued, “Whatever magic Kkura played on you, I’m glad it worked, because you’re here.”, he beamed with a confident sort of happiness. “O-oh, me too.”, blinking at the sudden confession. “I’m glad I’m here too. This is Yeonjun’s house, is it?”, you cringed slightly at yourself. Of course it was, everyone knew this was his party. Barking a short laugh, he said, “Yeah, of course. Resident party boy couldn’t help himself on the first day of summer.” You had no idea where Changbin was leading you to, but judging from the way you guys were walking towards an ajar patio door, you figured he wanted you in the backyard to hear you better over the music, where the number of partygoers were much less. Why he wanted to hear you at all, was still a mystery. 

With all the questions and slightly flirty lines being thrown at you from Changbin, you’d managed to completely ignore how you’d lost your friends in the crowd, how Soobin’s comforting presence was not near you, or how you couldn’t hear Beomgyu’s raucous laughter anymore. Finally breathing in the fresh gale of air as you guys stepped on to the wooden flooring of his back porch, it seemed Changbin’s agenda was made clearer - the way he cupped the curve of your cheek, staring deeply into your eyes. And it made you brake in your steps, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “Y/N. You’re cute. I’m cute. Cuter, maybe”, he giggled with a wink, as the thought that he might be quite tipsy had already washed over you. “Let’s get out of here?”, he said, beckoning towards the back gate of the house. And you, were absolutely fucking frozen. Here was an attractive boy asking you out, and all your stupid mind could think of was how badly you wished this was Yeonjun, and not his friend. And maybe you wished too hard, because from right behind the waiting figure of Changbin seemed to materialize Choi Yeonjun, black hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, smiling lightly as he met your eyes. The sharpness of his nose and the way his eyes seemed to crinkle around its corners. God damnit. Even in the worst of your moments, you seemed to be absolutely haunted by this six feet tall soccer player. 

“Hey, convenience store. Is this guy bothering you?”. Your mouth was open, but it seemed that no words would be coming out anytime soon. Glaring at his friend for icing his game, which just hardened when Yeonjun put an arm around his friend’s plentiful bicep, he just ushered Changbin away from you, still smiling at you as he explained, “He’s quite drunk right now. I’m glad you didn’t answer him anything, I’m surprised this dumbass can even stand on his own two feet, with the way he was pre-gaming before. Again, my bad, uh- what’s your name again? Can’t keep calling you convenience store now, can I?”

Here was Choi Yeonjun, talking to you about more than just ice cream flavors and homework. Here was Choi Yeonjun, helping you from making a dumb move with a drunk guy. Here was Choi Yeonjun, awaiting your response while you continued standing there mum. 

“U-uh yeah! It’s Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. I worked at the convenience store, yes. But I stopped working there now!”

There was some odd spirit cursing you, for sure. If there was a god of embarrassment, he seemed to have taken a liking to you. 

It seemed that Changbin, who was now reeling from the alcohol in his system, hunched over, ready to hurl, which seemed to distract Yeonjun from your nervous rambling. Hauling his friend over to the side of the patio, he entered with a Changbin hanging limply on his side. Looking back to where you still stood, he just smiled and asked, “You planning to help me out here?”

The floor of the bathroom where Changbin was sitting, curved into the toilet bowl, spilling his guts out was cold. Cold enough to make you and Yeonjun move to the baby blue ceramic tile bathtub, knees pulled into your chest while Yeonjun’s long ones were draped over the rim of the tub. Honestly, your jitters are much less now. The nerves had already made you almost forget what a disaster the first meeting with Yeonjun was, and it seemed he paid no mind to it either. “So Y/N, how do you know Kkura?”. And thus began a short and simple conversation with Choi Yeonjun in a baby blue bathtub, while his friend hurled in the toilet next to you both. 

“I don’t know how to do it.” The conversation was streaming steadily like a river, and the topic started digging deeper. Yeonjun asked about highschool, and how it was going for you - your plans for the summer and then junior year, the same way you asked him and how he felt about his last year in school. “What do you mean?”. “I wish I had a guidebook, you know? To tell me what sorts of things I should do, how to be someone in highschool who makes memories. Who lives. I’ve been trying ever since that last summer of middle school, and I’m still coming up short.” This just made Yeonjun let out a few giggles in amusement, which had you snapping your neck, shocked how he found your problems so funny. Shoving him lightly with your shoulder, you laughed too. “It’s not funny! I’m serious. Everyone except me knows what to do!” “Including me?” asked Yeonjun, head tilted towards you slightly in curiosity now. “Well..” and the look he gave you spurred you on. “You’re the Choi Yeonjun. You’re popular, smart, funny and talented.” “I know”, a lazy grin that had you clenching your fist in response to the butterflies. “So you get it right? You know the ropes.” This had Yeonjun’s smile faltering a bit, as his gaze dropped down to the floor. “If I knew Y/N, I’d know why I’m never enough for my girlfriend.” But as sudden as that confession was, he seemed to return to his original state. And you didn’t like that one bit. Sliding up a bit closer to him, you offered a token of friendship. “Wanna tell me about it? Sounds like you need a listener, and that’s something I’m good at.”

“Well, for starters, the rumor going around that I dumped her is false. It was the other way around. I would say it’s not that the relationship was running smoothly, but I guess I was holding on to that bit of whatever we had, floating a piece of driftwood. Splintering me, but I was holding on. She let go, I guess.”

You’re not sure what it is about you that has him baring open his soul so vulnerable only to you, but you’re glad. Because you saw the boy as more than just a shimmering silhouette in the distance now. He was much more up close, and much more beautiful.

On a hazy summer evening, where the air hung low above everyone like a buzzing, heated static, you met Choi Yeonjun in a new light. And he met you, not for the first time maybe, but definitely in a more impacting way. A second, first meeting.

The Second Summer - June

The days after the party at Yeonjun’s - where after you both had let each other read each other’s stories like open books on display, he’d walked you home due to “his extremely generous and chivalrous nature” (his words, not yours.), you’d been caught yourself far too many times revisiting that night in your head, replaying the smiles and the laughs, the banters and the jokes. You had something else too. Something that your friends were unaware of. Sure, you’d told them about your escapade with Yeonjun and why you were so absent at the party, which had led to hours of teasing from both Soobin and Beomgyu, with Soobin, roping Rin on to the antics kept making smooching noises at you, and Beomgyu, in the most Beomgyu-esque fashion ever would loudly and immaturely sing “Y/N and Yeonjun sitting on a tree” on the top of his lungs. But something you had yet to reveal to them, mainly because your patience would give out if you had to hear more taunts from them. But in your phone, locked away in your contacts, Yeonjun’s number.

“Lemme get your number, tubs”, he’d said with cheek as he called you that nickname he’d decided on the spot and a tongue poking out cutely from his lip, as he thrust his phone into your hands, still strolling along with one hand in the pocket of his black baggy jeans and the other brushing your own, sending sparks shooting right down your knuckles. Typing the digits in, he smoothly pulled your own phone out of your purse that he was carrying upon his insistence, and entered his own number, no doubt saving it under some sort of stupid name. “Why am I Tubs?”, you asked curiously. “Because I just had the best conversation of my life in a tub with you, tubs. Can’t let someone like you fade away now, can I?”. The street was lined with harsh white lamps, and little moths fluttering around the buzzing lamp made shadows dance around on the pavement. “So would you actually use a highschool guide if you got one?”, “Yeah, why not? A Popularity 101 or Escape High School for Dummies might be nice.” Humming, he seemed to be contemplating something, that you had to nudge him out of with an inquisitive look. “Nothing, nothing”, he said, shaking his head reassuringly. “Just something I thought of. Something that might help the both of us out.” “What do you mean?”, you asked him. “I’ll tell you about it. I’ll text you.” And just as elusively he’d entered your life, he left you on the front of your doorstep, with a promising smile and an electricity that wouldn’t leave your palms. 

The nickname had left a blush warming your cheeks that you hoped he hadn’t noticed. And when his contact lit up your phone screen, it was the same blush making its appearance on your face again. 

[Yawnzzn] 11:32 AM: meet me at the convenience store, tubs. kinda wanna talk to you ab smth

While the text’s ominous nature did leave you a bit nervous, the excitement of seeing him again, as a friend, as someone he wanted to hang out with by his own volition, overshadowed it. You knew it had to do something to do with what he’d referenced that fateful night. And skipping down the avenue, past the winding streets of the suburbs lined with trees and their apple green leaves, you made it to the convenience store on the corner, where Yeonjun stood staring into the ground, head bent, wearing a new pair of washed up baggy denims, a white form fitting shirt and a red-and-black cap turned backwards on his shaggy mop of black head, that seemed to highlight the brown undertone in the sun. Spotting your appearance from the sound of footsteps, he smiled and beckoned you into the store where you followed him, settling down on the outdoor seating arrangement shaded by the roof of the store. The sweat was starting to bead on the back of your neck which you tried your best to ignore. Focusing on the boy in front of you, meeting his twinkling gaze just set off an eruption of butterflies in your stomach. 

“Alright, before I say what I have to say, promise me you won’t be weirded out, okay? And I swear it only sounds as complicated.” He seemed nervous, and slightly uncomfortable about what exactly he was asking, which just made your fingers twitch slightly in anticipation. Anxiously biting your lip, you just nodded for him to continue, mustering up the best reassuring slight smile you could manage. “What if I taught you how to master highschool? And in return, could you pretend to be my fake girlfriend?”.

You blinked at him once. Then again. Honestly, you were awaiting that burst of ebullient laughter from him, where he’d then say how he was joking. Why would I date you Tubs? I’m not mad, he’d say. But none of that came. Instead there was still a patient Yeonjun eagerly awaiting your response. Sputtering in confusion and disbelief, you just asked him, “What? Why? Why do you need a fake girlfriend? Why do you want me to be the fake girlfriend?”. Giggling at your discombobulated state, he just waved his hand in the air in a gesture to relax. “Look. I’ve thought long and hard about this. You need a High School for Dummies, and I want to, well, show Yunha that I can be the boyfriend she needs me to be, you know? When she sees what a good boyfriend I can be with you, she might want me back!”. His radiant smile of excitement was throwing shadows over the cracks in your heart. Of course, he wanted her. Perfect, wonderful, Yunha. This would be severely, severely bad for your heart.

“I’ll do it.”

Recounting this debacle was shaping up to be exactly the kind of drama you were expecting from Soobin,Beomgyu and Rin. “You’re not serious. She’s not serious guys.” Rin was still in the denial stage of the process your friends were going through - with Soobin on anger and Beomgyu on grief, clutching your plushie on your bed and looking at you with sorrowful eyes as if you’d kidnapped his dog in front of him or something. Soobin’s mouth seemed to fly at miles a minute, berating you for how badly this would obviously end.

“Maybe this will help me, Soobin! To finally get over him! Clearly staying away just made me yearn more.” This just had Soobin turning more red. 

The both of you had drawn up unspoken rules about this of course - that the agreement would continue until the goal was met. Hopefully, it will happen by the end of this summer itself, Yeonjun had added. There was, of course, an agreement of mutual platonic feelings from both parties. Strike one in the deal.

You didn’t like doing things that your friends disapproved of, who despite their silliness and playfulness, were still your best friends. But God, did holding hands with Yeonjun as he led you through the colorful lights, bustling stalls and zooming rides of the carnival feel good. His hand was encasing yours and tugging your fingers, which had your own heartstrings cinching with each pulling movement. There was a wide smile on your face as he sped towards the stall selling animal headbands, insisting that you both needed matching ones. 

“You know, Yeonjun. If you’re secretly a furry or something, you can tell me. It’s okay, I won’t judge. I mean I will, but you know”, you said in faux sympathy while patting his shoulder jokingly, which had him adorably pouting at you. “Shut up, don’t you want to know what makes me so cool? These headbands do. Chicks and dudes alike dig my childlike whimsy.” He said proudly, which just had you raising an eyebrow at you. Stubbornly placing the matching fox ears on you, he pulled his cellphone out while explaining - “Okay, so step one. Kiss my cheek in this photo so that I can upload it to my story.” Kissing Yeonjun (albeit on the cheek) was like tasting heaven to you. Surely your heart would give out, if you even got closer to him. Kiss on the cheek?

“Come on, quickly! I wanna get a corndog after this”, he said signaling at the dimple on his cheek. Breaking out of your stupor, you hesitantly pushed your lips on to the soft flesh of his cheek, as he titled his more towards you, making your lips plant firmly against his dimple. Your mind was raging as the brightness around you, and his body warmth made your head spin. The sound of the shutter of a camera from his phone seemed to push you off your rollercoaster thoughts,moving quickly away. “Nicely done, Tubs.” he praised, examining the picture and wasting no time to post it. The sudden ding on your phone made you check the device, seeing the same picture being sent to you. “Set it as your wallpaper. Gotta make the gimmick more believable.”, he added nonchalantly. Nodding, you did as he told, until he said in an afterthought, “Plus, I look sexy as hell in that picture.” Scoffing at his confidence, you jokingly said, “And what makes you think I wanna stare at your face every time I open my phone?” “No rebuttals on the sexy part I see”, he winked at you. 

If your chances at surviving this date with an intact heart weren’t already horribly low, Choi Yeonjun was hell-bent on leaving you an absolute goner by the end of the date. 

The second date commenced equally as smoothly, with you taking the initiative this time by taking him to a pottery studio which doubled as a cafe - painting each other small trinkets to keep to remember the good friendship you were both fostering. And as you both opened up more to each other, you found yourself regretting what you’d said to Soobin. Because if anything, being close to Yeonjun just had you spiraling more into this lovestruck rabbit-hole. And you had to dig yourself out, fast.

One of those moments where clarity hit you about digging out, you’d decided to meet up with a fellow classmate of yours - Hwang Hyunjin. Hyunjin was a family friend of yours and you both had been quite close in your childhood years. Your mothers were best friends, who honestly wanted their kids to end up together. But they also didn’t want to force any unwanted romance on you both as children, which is why they’d left the matter alone all together. If it happened, it happened. If it didn’t, it didn’t. 

Your mothers shared such a deep friendship that they even had their own anniversary - the day they first became friends. And along the years, it turned into quite a wholesome celebration for them, celebrating their friendship together. And this anniversary was coming up soon, which is why when Hyunjin had texted you, asking if you wanted to help in throwing a little surprise party for the both of them, you’d eagerly jumped at the opportunity, ready to do anything to distract you from the boy you were so hopeless for. 

Pushing the grocery cart around as Hyunjin mindlessly added to things that might be required for the party, you both idly chatted, catching up with each other’s lives. Hyunjin was a quite good looking guy, and had all the girls in your class breaking their necks to get a good look at his prince-like beauty. Maybe you would’ve been one of those girls currently, if a different guy didn’t have your head up in the clouds. 

“And what’s up with you and Yeonjun? Don’t play with me and tell me, ‘cuz I saw that story of his? Does the shy Y/L/N finally have a man? The most fine, coveted man in school, even?”, he said, his cute dumpling smile and nudging making you blush slightly. “Well, we’ve been hanging out and stuff, I guess? He’s a good guy.”, you said bashfully. Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something but froze midair. Looking forward to seeing what had halted Hyunjin, you made eye contact with Yeonjun’s warm caramel brown ones. 

“Hi Y/N”, he said with a slight edge to his voice, eyeing you and Hyunjin suspiciously as he did. With a clipped voice, he also threw in a “Hey Hwang”, out of whatever courtesy he could find within the unexplainable pit in his stomach and the slight anger clouding his vision as he kept staring at how Hyunjin had an arm loosely wrapped around your shoulder while he was teasing you. He didn’t like that hand. At all. And he needed it off of you, immediately. 

“Hyune, take the items up to the cashier, please? I’ll be with you in a moment”, you requested, gulping as he left your side understandingly, leaving only you and Yeonjun standing in the fresh produce aisle. “Tubs, looks like you don’t need my help getting cool at all, if Hwang is the kind of guy you hang out with.”, he said light-heartedly, even though he felt nothing of the sort currently. Seeing you with another guy had put him off so much, so suddenly that it had him reeling. But, of course anyone wouldn’t be mad if their fake girlfriend was with someone else, right? Even if the word ‘fake’ gave him a bitter taste in his throat?

“Hyunjin is my family friend! His mom and my mom are best friends, you see. And we’re throwing them a little party, you see.”, you explained, suddenly feeling shy in his gaze, intense and burning right into you. His eyes seemed to soften at this, and he nodded. Feeling this odd urge to add more, you hastily spit out, “Do you want to come?”. The invitation was out of the blue and frankly had you feeling stupid. Who the hell would want to come to this? “You bet. I’ll be there in my finest suit and everything”, he added jokingly. “What time?” “Huh?” “What time is it starting?” “You actually want to come?”. “‘Course I do. Gotta impress my in-laws, right?”, he said cheekily. 

“You’re burning up, Y/N-ie!” Hyunjin later said, as he felt your skin as he had gone to poke your cheek. “Was it something in the store?”. Seeing how frozen you were, he slyly put two and two together and asked, “Or was it someone?” 

There were some streamers put up in the living room, and some balloons blown up by both your dads, who’d also become great pals because of their wives. You and Hyunjin were setting up the table, when the doorbell rang. “That can’t be them already?” you asked perplexed. “No, their spa appointment only ends at 6PM, I checked thoroughly”, said Hyunjin’s dad. Moving towards the door, confused about who it could be, you opened the door to find Yeonjun, casually dressed and clutching two small bouquets. “I’m not early, am I?”

When your moms arrived, your mother was pleasantly surprised to find you chatting happily with a boy who was not Hyunjin or any of your friends. Noticing the knowing twinkle in her eyes as you introduced her to Yeonjun, you silently promised her an explanation as you both moved around the room to where Hyunjin was, as your dad beckoned the parents over to the living room while letting the youngsters socialize on their own. With the three of you moving towards the backyard while cracking jokes, you could feel the one-sided tension between the both melting away, which made you glad. Settling down on the lawn chairs on the yard, the three of you streamed through various topics to talk about, with Yeonjun and Hyunjin bonding over their mutual interest in dancing. “I didn’t know you danced.” you’d voiced a bit quietly to him as Hyunjin went to his house just next door to get some beers for the three of you. You hadn’t drank before, so you were planning to sit this one out and let Yeonjun and Hyunjin get tipsy. “Yeah, it’s just been something I’ve always wanted to do. And my teacher before sophomore year reckoned I’d be good too.” “Why’d you stop?”, you asked him. “It was interfering with soccer practice. And soccer gets me into college - dance doesn’t.”. He seemed a bit shut off about the topic, and sensing how this was a sore spot for him, you didn’t press for much. “Well, there’s a life outside college. A life where you could do both - and maybe more dancing like you want.” you offered him in reassurance, which seemed to spark an interest in his eyes. Looking gratefully at you, this look on his face seemed different this time, like there was something deeper simmering beneath the cool guy smack he’d always give you. Your hand which was quite close to his own, hanging limply across the handles of the chair, suddenly was encased in warmth, with his own palm giving yours a grateful squeeze. “Thank you, Y/N. I’d like to show you one day, perhaps.”

And indeed, there was something cooking underneath that aloofness of his, because for the first time, he wished that he could show you his dance skills as his girlfriend, and not just a platonic agreement of the season. 

“Beer wench has arrived!” exclaimed Hyunjin, as he set down three bottles of Beer Lite on the wooden table in front of you. “Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds, but I’m ready to get cracking. Now Yeonjunnie, did you know that when Y/N was 11 she-""Shut up Hyunjin! You swore you wouldn’t talk about that!”. 

Hyunjin and his parents had departed as the evening neared its close, and the sky was black with dark maroon clouds spread out shielding the glimmering stars. Yeonjun had insisted on helping clean up for the party, claiming it was the least he could do as a guest. He was helping your dad clean up stray paper plates and napkins, until you showed him the way up to your room to get a garbage bag to dispose of the waste. His lanky body was right before you as you both bounded up the stairs, and opening up the door, a sudden realization hit you - Yeonjun was going to see your room. Your kind of messy, lame, postered up room. He was already two strides in when you were frozen up, terrified for the teasing onslaught that was bound to begin anytime soon. “No way, you listen to HONEY too? I freaking love that band.”

This was odd. No teasing. No making fun of your weird posters or your figurines and stuffed toys. Only a very heavy compliment on your music taste. Whistling long as he eyed the rest of your room, he seemed to giggle at the obscene number of plushies on your bed, which you took offense to. “It’s our year of the lord 2018 and you’re gonna make fun of plushies on the bed? Really, Yeonjun?”, you told him off with feigned disappointment as he laughed at this, chuckling while shaking his head. “Not making fun, just admiring.” His speech was only slightly slurred, indicating that he was only barely on the cusp of tipsy and sober. Moving towards your closet to bring out a garbage bag, he ambled up to stand right behind you, his arm resting against the wooden frame of the wardrobe as you ruffled around till you found what you were looking for. “Alright! Let’s go then”, spinning around only to bump your nose slightly against his hard chest. This caught you off guard, breath catching in your throat as you stabilized yourself by lightly holding on to his forearm. “Yeonjun?” you asked unsurely as your eyes hesitantly looked up to his pupils blown wide as he stared at you in an entirely different way. Like you were the only person he wanted to look at for the rest of his life. His lips were tantalizingly plump and pink, like easy to grab, low hanging fruit, the smell of cranberries and beer wafting on to your face gently in the most tempting way possible. Inhaling sharply, you saw how his vision flitted between features of your face, as if he was memorizing every curve, every mole and every lash. Eyes blown wide as saucers, you could only stand in bated breath, expecting nothing and everything at the same time. His lips were scanning your lips, and you swore your legs would give out right then and there, from the way he licked his own lips while eyeing yours. 

A call from downstairs seemed to separate you two like similar poles of a magnet, coughing slightly and silently going downstairs, garbage bag in your hand. There was a soft smile on both of your faces as you handed him the bag, going to join your mom in washing the dishes. Your currently flustered state was all the explanation your mom needed about who Yeonjun was to you in your life.

You and Yeonjun ambled by the door just killing time, neither of you wanting to say goodbye. But he knew it was time to go. Standing on your front porch, he offered the last sucker-punch of feelings to your gut as he said, “You know what, Tubs? I still don’t think you need my help. I think you’re the coolest person I know.”

The night when you laid in your bed, an hour after bidding him goodbye, you found yourself staring at the HONEY poster and smiling like a lovesick fool. This summer, you swore, was going to be beautiful.

The Second Summer - July

If you smile at your phone any longer, you’re afraid the shape would be etched on to your face forever, and everyone would know you as the lovestruck idiot who can’t stop smiling. At Least that’s what Soobin says, and obviously he’s never wrong. But even you had to admit, the rate at which you and Yeonjun had spent every waking moment together, including digitally over text messages, was just abysmal. Something seemed to have shifted in him ever since that encounter in your room, and it seemed like he’s exploded with affection. Almost everyone in your school knew that the both of you were in a relationship. A fake one, a snide voice in your head reminded you. That’s what this was for, anyways. A way for him to show Yunha how perfect he was. He wanted to be perfect for Yunha, and you were just practice. But the dark thoughts seemed to evaporate from your mind as another text message from Yeonjun lit up your phone, the wallpaper - the photo of the carnival - just making you more giddy. He’d invited you to your new date/hangout (you weren’t sure which word to settle on during this convoluted situation), a movie night at his place, after you’d relentlessly teased him for not knowing some of the most famous rom-coms. He’d apparently already watched Princess Diaries, which was a shock to you at first, until you found out it was only because his friend Chan had insisted that it was pure cinema, which it was. So tonight, you’d decided to make him watch the second installment of the series, a superior romance with just the right amounts of tension and tropes. He was picking up snacks from the supermarket while he was messaging you, asking you your preferences, the thoughtfulness melting your heart. Your leg was bouncing up and down in excitement as you laid on your bed, ready as ever for the night. 

At 7PM sharp, you had made your way to his house, rapping sharply at the door. He’d confirmed previously that the house was going to be empty save for his younger sister, since his parents had already jetted off for an anniversary couples vacation, leaving their two children in charge of the house. Fully expecting Yeonjun to open the door, you were surprised to find a smaller girl standing at the door with unblinking owlish eyes. From the similar fox-like features to the jet black hair, it wasn’t difficult to figure out that this was Yeonjun’s younger sister, Yena. She seemed to smile, metal braces glinting under the yellow porch light as she welcomed you in. His sister, who was due to start freshman year herself this fall in the same school as you both, seemed to spend no time in starting to talk to you, treating you like a friend she’d known for a long time. “You’re her, right?”, she seemed to ask mid-ramble, “You're Y/N. God that idiot can’t ever shut up about you! Of course, I see why considering how gorgeous you are, but please, some of us are sick of hearing about how much you like spending time with her!”, her voice growing louder and angled towards the staircase you both stood at the bottom of, clearly as a dig towards Yeonjun. His loud footsteps ran down the flight of the stairs, hair damp as if he’s just hopped out of the shower and bangs flopping against his forehead, clad in gray sweatpants and a loose black t-shirt. “Yena, don’t you have idols to ogle at on your iPad like a middle schooler?”, he asked with a huff of annoyance towards his sister, who just promptly stuck her tongue out at him, and walked away, not without giving you a teasing wink before she did. Clearly, this targeted teasing seemed to run in the Choi family genes. 

“We’ll watch the movie in my room, so that the little parasite doesn’t bother us”, he explained as he grabbed your hand to pull you up, almost like it was natural to him. A faint “I heard that!”from Yena in the living room made you chuckle wholeheartedly, loving their sibling dynamic. The sound of your laugh seemed to liven up Yeonjun even more, who could feel the warmth in your hand in his igniting a spark in his heart. So much for pre-made plans of how things go. It is the first time, he thought to himself, that someone’s made me feel this way. And I like it.

Settling down on his queen sized bed, the navy blue duvet and bed covers complimented with gray pillows surprised you, because to be honest, you were expecting some sort of Pokemon bed covers. Which earned you a frustrated and angry sound from Yeonjun, who in his annoyance often behaved exactly like a toddler. Endearing. 

Pressing on the button on the remote, he settled down comfortably right beside you, elbows touching yours as a bowl of popcorn mix was precariously balanced on both of your thighs, his body heat making you feel like a furnace. 

It got worse as the movie continued. Every minuscule move he made, every tiny shift or brush of him against you had you writhing in your head, having to restrain yourself from just imagining. Imagining what it would be like if you were both a regular couple having a regular date night, with your head on his chest, just above his beating heart. He would run his fingers through your hair that would probably soothe the next ten years worth of worries in your life. He could cup your chin and just dip down, giving you a taste of what it was like to be kissed by the magnificent boy. But that beating heart you fantasized of listening to, was currently beating for Kim Yunha. 

You’d never had your first kiss. You frankly saw no big deal of it, and you didn’t want to share a meaningless kiss with some boy who’s name you’d probably forget in twenty years during those eighth grade spin the bottle games at birthday parties. You didn’t know what your first kiss would feel like. If it would be the sparks and fireworks, the bubbles of champagne kind, or the comfortable one, like the breeze that enters through your window at night. Like home. The kiss you currently craved, you guessed, would taste as sweet as candy.

“Hey, hey she did the foot pop when she kissed him! That’s what she wanted in her first movie right!” Yeonjun exclaimed, deeply interested in the movie while you dealt with the dilemma in your mind. He added on, “Oh man, a foot pop kiss would be fun. Different to the kisses I’ve had. Have you had any of those, Tubs?”. His questions seemed to fly over your head, until he asked again, inquisitive eyes looking at you, the dialogue a dimmed background in how close he was. Gulping, you didn’t really feel shame or embarrassment as you told Yeonjun about your lack of experience (read:none) in that department. It was Yeonjun, of course. You couldn’t find anyone else to admit this kind of information to. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know why he’s said it; it flew out of his mouth faster than he could register. But all he did know is that he did want to kiss you. To give you your first kiss. A foot-popping, rom-com, magical kiss. You deserved it. He wanted it. 

“Wanna kiss me?”

His voice has a low timbre to it when he asks this.

There’s an ocean ringing in your ears in the midst of your raging emotions - confusion, shock, and above all, glee. To be kissed by Choi Yeonjun, was like plucking a star from the sky and handing it to you. 

Your neck moves almost mechanically in a single nod. And then his lips are on yours. 

There’s colors yet darkness behind your eyelids that flutter close. Your lips are moving softly and shyly against his, which are gentle yet firm. Like he wants this as bad as you. Like tasting you wasn’t a chore, but a reward. 

You think Yeonjun tastes like popcorn and excitement. He thinks you taste exactly like summer.

The Second Summer - August

The windows in the car are slightly fogging up, and beating heat outside isn’t quite helping. The heavy and quick breaths, the faintest moans of pleasure, from the bitten lips to the few scattered hickeys on your neck, as his lips, as unrelenting as ever, kept devouring your mouth would make anyone feel shy enough to look away. His eyes are slightly dimmed and he looks up through his eyelashes at you from where he’s nibbling on your collarbone, which sends a searing flame down your spine and making you whine a sound barely audible to anyone who wasn’t in the kind of proximity to you that Yeonjun was in. The whine just got more loud as you complained when he pulled away from his ministrations as the sound of his phone dinging from messages from the rest of the Three Stooges which was his friend group - all of them asking how long exactly would he take to go on a simple beer run for the party they’re holding tonight at Wooyoung’s place. Shushing your complaints with a sweet peck on your swollen lips, he said, “Sorry Tubs, but these guys won’t leave me alone unless I get their alcohol. ‘Swear they’re like impatient babies about this stuff.” Starting the car as you got out, he held your wrist just as you were about to close the door, tugging as he asked, “I’ll see you at the party, right?”, eyes gleaming with hope. Smiling, you reassured him with a simple yes, and walked over to the short distance to your house, where the rest of your friends had already gathered, waiting in your bedroom. Already bracing yourself, you opened the door to find Beomgyu funnily gasping and shouting about the marks and your messed up hair, with Rin high fiving you and Soobin, while pretending to be a mad dad at you, just hugged you with a smile that had broken through. “You know Y/N-ie, not even Olympic athletes are this dedicated to reaching the goal like you did. I’m proud of you kid.” “What’s up with all this ‘kid’ stuff, old man?” you asked him laughing as you plopped down on the beanbag next to Rin who was sorting through your wardrobe trying to find the perfect outfit for you to wear to the party, which would be your first public, public appearance with Yeonjun.

If you weren’t going to lie, you were quite nervous. Yunha was supposed to be at this party too. And Yeonjun and you hadn’t talked about the ‘deal’ you both had made, the one which would end with him being with Yunha again, at all since that kiss in his room. The rest of the days since then had since been blurred into kiss-filled memories highlighted with more dates and more memories with him. With not a single mention of what happened before, or what would happen later. If this was the only way you could have Yeonjun, in an unspoken way, the self-destructive, addicted part of you was okay with that. But all good things did come to an end. You had spoken to Beomgyu about your predicament, who had been nothing but a patient and attentive listener to you, despite the boy’s regular nature. He offered you some advice - the kind that you knew was so realistic that only Beomgyu could offer it. 

“Confront him about it at the party tonight. Perhaps being this publicly out with you might make him remember your contract too. Then you guys could come to a conclusion, hopefully a good one.”

You’re fidgeting with your fingers on the way to the party, non-verbal and staring out the window in Soobin’s car as the three of them sensed you needed your space, left you alone. Tonight was an important night. 

Jung Wooyoung’s house was no joke. A sprawling mansion with five private jacuzzis, countless bedrooms and more space than required, the party teeming across the entire property seemed to be in full swing when you all arrived. A text alert on your phone from Yeonjun made you look away from the sheer grandness of the house,

[Yawnzzn] 10:26 PM: come meet me at the jacuzzi marked number 3. it’s the one behind the fountain 🙂

Fountain? Jacuzzi? God, was Wooyoung rich. The number of amenities had your head spinning, and it was almost like deja vu, the way you found yourself separated from your friends again at a party. Fortunately enough, this time you’d told them about the message and about meeting Yeonjun. Beomgyu had given an extra reassuring look when you left, silently cheering you on for what you were planning to do tonight. Pushing past sweaty bodies and handsy couples, drunk teenagers and passed out bodies on the floor, you tried to find your way to the location that Yeonjun had messaged. The enormity of the house didn’t make it easy, and honestly you were getting quite dizzy from all the overstimulation around you. But you had to find him first. 

Finally spotting a cluster of palm leaves and an artificial water fountain, made of polished rocks and lighting from below making the water look ethereal, you ambled your way there, pushing past the leaves to get behind the fountain to where Yeonjun said the jacuzzi was. Making it past the rocks, you saw the jacuzzi, where your boy sat with his feet in the glowing blue water, the shadows of the water rippling across his face. There was your beautiful boy, sitting right next to Kim Yunha. 

You didn’t know what to say. Or do. He was looking at her the way you swore he looked at you, with all that hope and all that endearment in his face. Then his face fell, with a tinge of visible anger clustering in his furrowed eyebrows, when you heard the words in her voice, “So what, you gonna extend your contract with your pathetic little fake-girl? Or are you just man up and come back to me?” There seemed to be some sort of satisfaction in the smirk Kim Yunha wore, amplifying when she looked right at you, gleaming with some sort of vengeance. As soon as she did, Yeonjun did too, with a look of utter bewilderment and helplessness. Sort of like how you felt. 

It was like piercing a knife right through you, hot and searing which led to the same kind of tears running right down your face. The look you wore had something inexplicably sharp poking Yeonjun deeply in the chest. He was trying to get around the wet floor, trying to reach you, screaming something. 

But you didn’t hear anything. It was like there was that ocean in your ears again, raging violently this time. Your breath was quickening like falling sand. You didn’t know what to think right now. The summer was supposed to end, and this was the end of your summer, and fuck, he got what he wanted, didn’t he? And left you with nothing. You didn’t know what to do, so you did the only thing you could do, and you ran. 

The Second Summer - Yeonjun’s Summer

If you had asked Yeonjun how his summer was going, he would just say one thing. “This summer, I fell in love.”

74 missed calls have accumulated in your phone over the past three days, where you’ve laid just rotting in your bed. Your eyes are probably still puffy from the way that when you think the tears have ended, they begin again. Rin spent the night over the first night, after hearing your broken recount of the events that had happened to the best of your abilities, amongst the gut-wrenching sobs that wouldn’t stop and the horrible ache in your heart that just wouldn’t stop. The second night, it was Beomgyu, accompanied by Taehyun and Kai, who had come back from visiting their family and been filled in by the rest of the gang on the current happenings. Beomgyu seemed quite angry at himself, after all he was the one who had suggested that you seek out Yeonjun at the party. But when you limply just grabbed his hand while tears streamed down your face noiselessly, the three boys just gathered around you in a circle, encasing you and trying their best to shield you from pain; even though the pain was deep inside you, like a hurtful wrench determined to dig right into you. 

Soobin was here on the third night, declining all the calls from the boy who broke your heart, who seemed to be relentless in his attempts. He had gotten what he had wanted, didn’t he? He got his precious girlfriend back, and was he stupid enough to expect the both of you would continue to be friends? “I don’t get why he called me there if she was going to be there as well”. Your voice is as frail as a dying leaf in winter, thin like paper and watery that had Soobin himself tearing up for his friend. 

You did have quite a lot of unanswered questions that would remain a mystery to you, you guessed. Did everything really mean nothing to you? Was I the only one calling it everything? Do you miss me? I miss you. I miss you a lot even though I shouldn’t. I miss you all the time. I hate you. I miss you. 

Another buzzing call on your phone had you break out of your headspace. “Soob”, you began in a watery voice, “I’m gonna go shower. Maybe get rid of this stench and sadness on me. You go home and get some rest, okay?””But-” “Trust me.” He understood that this was something you needed, and giving you one last hug, he walked out, leaving you alone in the room where you first felt Yeonjun. 

He’s been driving around aimlessly for the past three days. Ever since that night, he’s been sleeping in his car, which had gathered protests from the rest of his friends. But he couldn’t stomach going into his room, where he’d kissed you for the first time. He was haunted now, by the most beautiful ghost. A ghost whom he’d hurt. 

He has been cursing out Kim Yunha in his mind continuously, but not as much as he’d been cursing himself. When she’d overheard the conversation he was having with Changbin, Wooyoung and Chan about how he was ready to cut the contract-deal bullshit between you both, to finally put an end to the Yunha business, and finally ask you to be his as much as he already was yours, he should’ve taken some action. He shouldn’t have fallen for her innocent act, where she pretended to be actually interested in hearing about you. He should’ve cut her off immediately, and then run to you and kissed you long and hard.

But he didn’t. He didn’t and now you were hurt because of him and he couldn’t find you at all. There seemed to be no activity about you. You hadn’t blocked him, but you didn’t pick up his calls. His texts were still going through, but left on delivered. He was lost, and you were the only one who could compass him back to shore. 

He doesn’t know when to pin-point to the moment being the moment when he realized that he’d fallen hard and fast for you. Every date with you made him crave your presence more. Funny jokes seem funnier when he hears your laugh. Movies were more entertaining only when you were sitting next to him, pressed up to him so that he could smell your shampoo and hold your hand, the pads of his fingers tracing every crease on your palm. Or maybe it was when you became the first person to take an interest in the real him - the Yeonjun who liked dancing and animal ears and popcorn and ice creams from the convenience store. Maybe he was a goner the moment he sat in that bathtub at the party with you. Losing an anchor like you meant he was back to being adrift at sea.

It’s the 4th day of being on no-contact with Yeonjun. Since that fateful day where your heart had been shattered to pieces. You’re back at the convenience store you’d worked that summer, on some sort of heritage tour of the moments you had before you were crushed. You walked on over to the ice cream box, chuckling sadly when you noticed the exact ice cream you’d recommended him still being there. You weren’t sure how or when you’d stop remembering him in the small things. But in some deep, deep part of you, you wanted to remember him. You wanted to remember how high you felt around him. 

“Y/N.”

It's like the temperature in the store drops significantly when he says your name. You’re refusing to turn around, shoulder seized up and taut. He’s here, he’s here, why the fuck is he here?

“Y/N, please.” He doesn’t want to get too close to you just yet. He wants to give you the space you need. But fuck, if he just didn’t feel the largest wave of relief in his chest when he spotted you entering the convenience store. 

“Y/N, Tubs. Please. Just hear me out. Please? I promise you it’s not what it looked like.”

He sounds so utterly desperate and broken that it makes your heart ache enough to make you turn around, making you gasp at his disheveled appearance.

There’s dark eye bags under his eyes which have lost any spark they held before. Despite the brightness of the sun outside, he seemed to look almost gray in color. Like life was sucked right out of him. His concerning appearance had you shuffling hesitantly towards him, which he was ever-so welcoming to. Opening his mouth, his voice was hoarse, as began explaining everything. 

You’re both seated outside that store again, where that godforsaken deal began. He seems much lighter now, and much better. His hand is inches from yours, and hesitating to close the gap. The moment is so tender, so precious, that even one wrong move has him fearing that you’d leave, and he’d be broken again. “Is the deal over then?”, you ask him, which has his eyes widening. “Fuck the deal, baby. I’m so sorry that it even was a thing. I like you, Y/N Y/L/N. I might even just be in love with you, and I’m mad enough about you to admit it. You’re like breathing to me, Y/N.”

He’s here again, and he’s so, so beautiful again. This time, it’s you closing the gap between your hands, his palm bringing back fond memories to your mind. “Well, Yeonjun, I hope the deal is over. I’d like to declare it over, because I would prefer it a lot more if you became my real boyfriend, instead of my fake one.”

It’s the summer before junior year and you’re only sixteen, but you swear that this is love. You may not know much, but you’re sure. Reaching here might’ve been hell, like fighting modern Sparta. But you wouldn’t have ended it any differently, with you and him and a summer in a convenience store, eating ice pops and sharing frozen kisses. 

Bonus: The first fall

You’re standing in front of your locker. The first day of school jitters were significantly lesser compared to your previous years. Picking up the singular post-it that had seemed to have found itself in your locker, you turned it around to find Yeonjun’s scrawling handwriting saying only one thing. I love you. And just as you grinned from the message, the boy in question wrapped his arms around your torso, planting a sweet kiss on the right side of your neck, and then deeply inhaling your scent, which made you laugh happily. “Cool people write post-its by the way. That should also be a tip you should consider for your highschool journey.” “Of course, my cool boyfriend. I’ll definitely keep in mind that post-its are for cool people.” If Yeonjun was a star, you were his star charter. You’d still have to get through the battleground of high school. But doing it with Yeonjun just made the whole journey much sweeter, didn’t it?

“Just for the record, I still don’t like him.” ”Shut up Soobin!”.

[lovendermist]

i dont know if u do aus but if u do🥹 i have a tini tiny request of an actor au where reader and hange are both famous actors, they get casted in a movie where its their first time working together and fans begin editing their chemistry and after some time they get together because maybe one of them already likes the other and finally asked the other one out hmmmhmhmhm🤨🤨 if u ever decide to write this THANK YOU

a scenario and headcannon PLEASE

Actor!Hange x Actor!Reader

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you... even I do

Type: Headcanons, Scenarios, fluff

WC: HC: 332, Scenario: 4k

Pairing: Actor!Hange x Actor!Reader

A/N: Firstly, I had written too much than I expected and I feel very guilty. Secondly, this was fun to write. Thirdly, I hope you like this one anon, cause oh my, did I have a lot of giggling done while I was writing this. I honestly have low hopes for this one to go well, but I wanted to do it justice, hence the late upload. I hope you like it regardless! ;v; I also forgot if there was anything else I should've italicized. I did this on the notepad on my laptop, so. Please ignore any typos or else I will die.

(Also, a text with [this] means it's your text. I just didn't feel like doing that y/n business for this one.)

hange masterlist

HANGE ACTOR AU: PROJECT 1

ACT 1: HANGE

I wholeheartedly believe Hange is naturally flirty, even to their past co-stars and actresses

It's kind of what they're known for, actually. If it's not their big projects in the past, it's their flirtatious and witty behavior

Hange stars a lot in action, thriller, and crime films

Very rarely in some sci-fi movies

Hange doesn't always wear glasses, they're wealthy enough to afford contacts

But when they do, the public screams how perfect they'd look in sci-fi films, especially with the type of glasses they have

The public also screams how insanely hot they look with it

There's been some times where Hange does wear their glasses during movie premiere red carpets

And what makes the public lose it when they wear their glasses is that during these interviews, they occasionally look at their co-star with such adoration

A straight up half-lidded gaze, tilted head, and occasional lip twitches as their co-star talks

It's all inadvertent, they'd say in another interview

But the next victim of Hange's glassy-eyed stare? You.

ACT 2: YOU

Your career consists of mostly side characters in arthouse films

The sharp-witted, helpful, sometimes annoying side character

You occasionally get a center role, though

Sometimes you star in drama, horror, or even action

But soon, you get paired up with Hange in one of their main career genres

A crime film, with you as Hange's sidekick, an assistant of sorts

The film has a certain twist to it, where your character is actually the one pulling some of the strings behind the case Hange's character and you yourself were working on

And it includes a scene where— if seen under a different assumption, a different light— you'd think it wasn't a heated interrogation but a build up to something more

A different kind of heated, let's just say.

But after all that time on set, and now during that red carpet interview,

You're not sure if Hange's scrutinizing gaze is all part of the act anymore

ACT 3: ACTION

The cameras flash and the people scream out both of your names to get your attention. You two are the stars of the night as the movie premiere's red carpet event takes place. You answer some of the interviewers as best as you can, trying your hardest not to give out any spoilers, but other than the paparazzi's gazes, you can feel someone else's eyes on you.

From your peripheral vision, you can see the way Hange towers just beside you, ready to jump in to give an answer of their own if needed. You think you're seeing things, but after a while you notice that Hange's eyes are not on the interviewers where they should be— but on you instead. Their grey glasses glimmer under the light of all the flashes sometimes. When you turn to look at them, they only smile back ever so softly.

You've known them to be a flirt. You do a bit of your own research before jumping into a project after all. It's been said by their past co-stars time and time again that they have a charming and playful personality, and flirty is not exactly far from the top 5 words the world has been using to describe them.

Was it your turn to be under Hange's watchful, half-lidded gaze this time? Instead of mulling on it over and over, you decide that it's best to focus on the event for the meantime. You don't want the cameras to catch you zoning out now, do you?

"So you and Hange have amazing chemistry on-screen. Was it hard to maintain that bond off-screen, considering it's your first time working together?" The interviewer asks.

"No, not at all! They have an easygoing personality, so you can imagine what that's like." You both smile as you answer the question, "Hange knows this is a bigger project than what I usually do, and they helped a lot in making me feel settled and welcomed. So that already helped a lot with our dynamic even off-screen."

"Aw, isn't that sweet?" Hange's soft voice speaks up as they pull you a little bit closer by your waist. You laugh in surprise at their sudden action, and even the interviewer can't help but be entertained by Hange's antics. You can't tell if they're just playing around or being true to themselves at this moment.

Throughout the event, all eyes are on you two. Hange is much more of an expert than you in dealing with the public and reporters, so for the most part, you let them deal with it. But you work together really well, the answers and banter flowing easily without a single problem.

"Well don't you two seem awfully close. Did the on-screen chemistry match the off-screen one?" Another interviewer asks.

"Oh, well you know. On-screen chemistry often translates off-camera too." Hange leans in closer to the mic, their voice low and teasing, confidence in full display as they answer the question. They even add a wink after answering.

"Oh, you flirt," You tap Hange's arm playfully, "Ignore them."

Hange laughs at your interjection, "See what I mean?" Hange pulls you closer to them, "This one keeps me in line."

As they pull you closer to them, you realize you're not exactly sure anymore if Hange's flirtatious character is just a front or if they're being serious for real. Sure, there's truth to their words: You do have great chemistry on and off-screen, but how much of Hange's flirty answers are true? Are you their next victim? Were you willing to be, anyway?

In the midst of this excruciatingly tiring event, you don't miss the way Hange's concerned eyes land on you as if to ask if you're okay. It's one of your first big events as an actor who mostly does small, indie projects after all. You smile at them throughout the night as a silent response.

During the movie premiere itself, you and Hange talk occasionally. You two make fun of your own characters, pointing out which scenes were hard for you two to film, which moments in the movie you loved best, and the likes. Sometimes, and yet again you think you're seeing things, but it looks like Hange's eyes are not on the screen but on you instead. You try to catch them, but the frame of their glasses and the darkness make it hard to see exactly where they have their eyes on. And even then, by that time, Hange's eyes are already back on the screen.

Before long, the moment of your character's betrayal was shown. Hange watches, their eyes almost sparkling in excitement.

"You were absolutely brilliant in this scene." Hange whispers, eyes glued to the screen. You mutter a thanks to their praise.

It was rather intense, the confrontation scene. Your usually apprehensive character's demeanor changed into a defiant, cheeky troublemaker the moment Hange's character figured out your plan. Much to the dismay of their character, your character wasn't exactly eager to spill out their secrets, leading to a bit of heated argument and some physicality.

Things resolved in a way that you were already sure would lead to split opinions in the community. This much you've discussed with Hange, but fan theories and scene dissections aside, you two were happy with how your characters resolved their own arcs in the end.

During the afterparty, Hange doesn't leave your side either. You were glad for this, as there's still a lot of people you didn't know aside from the filming crew.

"Thanks for sticking by me," you mutter, "I don't exactly know what to do during these events. It's all such a headache."

"Oh it's no problem, darling," Hange's hand settles back down on your waist as they speak in a low voice. "I'm more than happy to accompany you."

But it's not long before someone else calls for Hange's attention. Of course, it's to be expected. Hange's the more popular one in this industry, in this event. They excuse themselves from you with a wink, slipping their arm away from your waist and reluctantly leaving you alone for the meantime to talk to another actor.

As you wait for Hange, someone else comes up to talk to you. You try your best to engage in conversation, but you're more than eager for this to end so you can go back to Hange's company again. You spot Hange in the corner of your vision, and they're just as aware of your new chatmate.

Hange watches with a slight tension in their shoulders, their eyes occasionally darting to where you and the other actor are talking. Hange tries their best to maintain a cheerful conversation of their own, but their eyes remain watchful and annoyed at the fact that someone already talked to you the second they left you alone. It's not unexpected, it's a social event after all and you're the main star as well. But it does irk Hange to no end.

After what seems like hours, Hange's conversation ends first. They keep their eyes locked on you as they make their way over to where you are, excusing themselves along the way as they bump into other people.

"Hey! Hi, sorry, I just need to borrow this one for a second," Hange exclaims sweetly as they interrupt your conversation, "Mind if I steal them away for a bit?"

"Oh, of course, no problem."

And with that, Hange happily snakes their arm back around your waist and leads you away somewhere with less people.

"Was that a bit of jealousy I heard in your tone?" You tease Hange as you two settle somewhere quiet.

"Me? Jealous? Hardly." Hange teases.

You two walk around for a bit, greeting some guests and some crews. After some time together, you finally bring up what's on your mind. All that staring during the red carpet, their flirty behavior, even the way they whipped you away just now, it all comes flooding back to you.

"So, all that staring you've been doing." You turn to face their tall figure. It didn't really register to you how good Hange looked tonight— they had a dashing coat on, colors fitting to the aesthetic of your film.

"What about my staring?" Hange crosses their arms, a smirk appearing on their already smug looking face.

"You know what it does." You look at them, stern yet playful.

"And?" Hange urges you to continue, that smug look never leaving their face.

"Well, I would just appreciate it if you dropped the act."

"What act, darling?" Hange tilts their head, which you grow a little annoyed at. But you can't deny that it's an endearing sight too.

"The flirty comments, the…" You wave your hand around in an attempt to express yourself better, "the lovesick gaze…?" You cringe at your own words.

"Oh, darling." Hange drawls out, their tone playful yet serious, "I wasn't acting at all. I'm not playing pretend here."

Hange leans closer, close enough to the point where you can smell their perfume on them. It smells expensive, and it takes every single fiber in your being not to squirm where you stand.

You're seeing it again, up close and personal— Hange's pretty face so close to you, a sly smile tugging at the corners of their lips. The last time they were this close was during the shooting of that damned confrontation scene. After what seems like an eternity, they finally speak up, their voice dangerously low and sultry.

"Unless… you want it to be part of the act?"

It takes you a second to reply, but even then you stammer in your own words.

"Wha-"

Someone calls out to both of you, distracting you momentarily. Apparently, the afterparty is done and the cabs are here to take everyone home. Hange looks at you, that smile still etched on their gorgeous face before taking you away, back to where the people are. Your little conversation will have to be postponed for now. You're not worried for the lack of time at all, for there will be plenty of promotional interviews this week with Hange. But the suspense will be enough to leave both of you with a bit of tension until you two see each other again, with the perfect amount of privacy for you to talk your feelings out.

"I'll see you soon." Hange murmurs before kissing your hand. Their lips linger a second too long, and so do their eyes as they look at your stylish outfit.

"See you, Hange." And with that, the waiting game begins.

—

It takes a few days and a bunch of interviews before a long string of messaging happens between you two. It was Hange who reached out first, with a rather interesting message.

Hange: Have you see the edits?

You smile to yourself before replying to their message. For sure, they’re talking about how your movie is all the rage at the moment, including online.

[yeah. they're definitely something, aren't they?]

Hange: It's like they can't get enough of our chemistry. Hange: I guess the fans just see us and can't help but ship us. But it is kind of flattering, isn't it?

[its entertaining, yeah]

Hange: Though I guess that means we make a good pair, huh? 😉

[we do :)]

From your message alone, Hange already has a hunch that you two had totally different ideas in mind. After a few minutes, you receive another notification from them, confusion obvious from their message.

Hange: Wait, which edits have you been seeing exactly?

[the interview ones. what else?]

Hange responds rather quickly. From their end, they’re grinning mischievously from the newfound knowledge that you haven’t seen everything yet. They keep their message short and cryptic.

Hange: Oh.

You grow confused. What other edits could Hange be talking about? You wait a few seconds before receiving another message from them.

Hange: So you haven't seen the ones of us during the confrontation scene?

[the confrontation scene?]

Hange: So I take it that you haven't.

[,,, no? why would they be making edits about that ?]

Truth be told, you haven't exactly been online too much since your movie had shown in theaters everywhere. But from your social media's algorithm, that's really all you've been seeing: edits of you and Hange during past interviews this week, the videos cutting to when you two locked eyes and what the fans say is you acting shy from Hange's actions. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hange sent a link.

Hange: So you haven't seen these kinds of edits??

[no.??? wait i'll watch them now]

And watch them, you did. It takes you a second to get it, but you know what it is. You've seen these kinds of edits float around before; clips of movie scenes together to make a narrative, sometimes even to fit a certain song. And these fans certainly outdid themselves when it came to your movie, specifically catering to that scene where Hange’s character finds out and confronts you about your betrayal on them.

You scroll past a few of them, but another very particular edit grabs your attention. You make a mental note to never mention it to Hange and bury it in your mind. After a few minutes of replaying that edit, you decide to reply to Hange.

[ohhhh. those kinds of edits]

Hange: Ha! See? Aren't those cool?

[they’re certainly creative, thats for sure]

You hide the fact that that one particular edit makes your heart swoon a bit.

Hange: Come on, give them more credit than that. Hange: Or maybe you’re saying very little because you’re flustered from watching them?

[no, no, they’re good, really. im just surprised, i didnt know abt these.?]

Hange: They’re amazing, is what. I definitely see it now, how that confrontation scene can ultimately look a rather different kind of… intense 😉

[u are a joke. but i dont disagree]

You leave the conversation at that, and Hange lets you be. Unbeknownst to you, Hange has been uncontrollably smiling all the way from start to finish of your conversation. They already miss your presence and the time you had on set. In fact, their mind has already wandered back to how you looked in the red carpet. They just couldn't let you go, and you didn't let them.

After a few busy days, you decide to revisit some of the edits on social media. But before you could fully succumb to sleep, you decide to view that one particular edit that caught your attention. Yes, you did replay it a bit. Was it so wrong? It’s not like anybody will know. It’s not long before sleep takes ahold of you after the last replay of that video.

Soon you wake up well and refreshed, that is until you read Hange’s message. It's not like there was anything wrong with it, but it was odd enough that your gut tells you otherwise.

Hange: You sure are amusing

[good morning to you too. and what does that mean]

Hange: Well good morning! Looks like someone forgot to log in to a dummy account last night

[???]

Now you’re not only confused, but nervous as well. Nervous enough to double-text Hange.

[Hange??]

Hange sent a link.

It's a tweet of your activity online, a screenshot that you've liked that one particular edit of Hange from a different movie of theirs, a scene where they were alone and the scene itself being rather impure. The edit itself is a 2 month old upload, and netizens are going crazy for your unexpected interaction on such a late upload, additionally the fact that it's an edit of your co-star, and most especially the fact that its in the middle of your promotion for your movie with Hange.

When Hange saw that tweet, they were more than ecstatic to talk about it with you. It took everything in their bones to not post anything exclaiming their happiness of your sudden activity, especially that it's content of them.

You distinctly remember clicking like on it after multiple replays before dozing off to sleep. It happened quickly. So much for keeping your attraction to it under wraps.

[fuck]

Hange: Hehe Hange: I'm coming over

[???]

Hange doesn't reply anymore, making you nervous. The fact that you know they live pretty close to where you are puts you in such unease.

In the meantime, you look at how people are reacting to your activity, and in some ways it soothes you. Most are shocked, obviously. Who wouldn't be, when edits of your movie are going all around and here you are, barging in with an interaction on an old, and rather spicy edit of Hange.

It worried you, what this might do to Hange's reputation. Are they coming over because they're pissed? Probably not, they put a 'hehe' there. But still, you're worried how this would unfold for both of you, but especially for Hange, being the more popular actor they are.

Some reactions are… excited? Looks like some already shipped you two the moment some behind the scenes photos were posted. You're just thankful there's not a lot of negative feelings and thoughts being shared.

After some time, your doorbell rings. Hange's here. From your peephole, you can see that they're wearing a mask and a cap, most likely to hide from any paparazzi. You let them in with a guilty look, averting their gaze.

As soon as Hange walks in, they take off their disguises and the hoodie that they were wearing. They're wearing a white blouse that looks good on them. In addition to that, they're also wearing that stupid smug smirk on their face that also, unfortunately, looks good on them. After closing the door, they turn to you with their arms crossed, grinning as they speak.

"So looks like someone liked a pretty steamy edit of me in one of my older films." Hange says, their tone a matter-of-fact.

"Hange, I-I'm sorry if that weirded you out or anythi—“

"No, no. It didn't, don't worry about that. But I do want to know, though…" Hange cuts you off, leaning a bit closer again with their folded arms, the same way they stood when you accused their lovestruck gaze as mere acting. The same way they stood when you smelled their perfume the night of the premiere, only this time they smell a bit like a part of home.

Hange's lips curl up a bit slightly before they speak again.

"Tell me darling, was I a good actor there?" They ask, their voice low and raunchy, and you find you can't give an answer the way they just explicitly asked you such a bold question with such a tone, right after entering your apartment.

Your mouth remains hanging open as Hange chuckles softly, leaning a bit back to give you more space.

"Sorry, too much? But you do look cute all flustered like that. But really, you must've found it good if you liked such an old post of me like that."

It takes you a while to compose yourself. You sigh and let your shoulders down a bit.

"Fine, you were a good actor there. Happy?"

Hange nods, "Very. Although pestering you to the point of blushing about that post wasn't the only reason why I wanted to come here," Hange fixes their glasses before mumbling under their breath, "But it made for a very good reason, too."

"Okay… so why are you here exactly?"

"I wanted us to continue our conversation from that night. You know, the red carpet? movie premiere?" Hange looks at you warily, gauging your reaction to their words.

"Oh, when you were looking at me so dearly?" You say, your tone fully dipped in sarcasm.

"Exactly." Hange smiles at your remembrance of that night despite the sarcasm.

"Okay. What about it? Didn't I tell you to quit it?"

"You did, yes." Hange adjusts their stance, "It's just that I also told you that I wasn't acting."

"Right. So where are we going with this?"

"Darling." Hange sighs before looking into your eyes, "Is it not obvious how much I'm pining for you?"

You look at them warily but don't stop them from continuing.

"You know, ever since filming wrapped up, I just couldn't keep myself from being curious about you," Hange admits. From the way they look right now, so unsure and cautious of their own words, you wouldn't even be able to tell they're an actor with such a confident reputation.

"Well, honestly, even towards the end of filming, I think there were some obvious signs that I had some feelings for you," Hange adds, their hand scratching their nape bashfully, "But I think everyone was too busy on the project to notice. Including you, of course."

"Don't fuck with me," You tilt your head at them, still confused about their sudden admissions, your mind rejecting the fact that this confession will make you fall bit by bit for them, "You're acting."

"Do you think I'm acting?" Hange bows their head, a smile dancing on their lips.

They walk closer to you, taking in your hands as they speak in a soft voice.

"Maybe you think I'm acting, maybe you think I'm playing around," their thumb draws circles on the back of your hand, their touch light and soothing.

"Maybe you think I don't mean any of these words or these touches. But I'm not acting. I'm not playing around. I know I started liking you in the middle of production, but…" Hange locks their eyes with you, their gaze unwaveringly soft and stern.

"I tried my best not to let it show even during our time on set. I only acted a bit on my feelings after, and that was way after filming too."

"So you really are serious then…" You take a deep breath, looking down at your hands then were being held by Hange's before looking back up to meet their gaze. They nod their head with a smile.

"Yes, of course. I'm not messing with you. I'm not playing some kind of game with you. Why do you think I've been looking at edits of us? I'm not that egotistical, darling. I'm watching them because I… guess I wanted to see more of you. You don't even know how happy I was to see that news about your activity last night, with that edit of me," Hange chuckles.

"It's good to know you're serious… but shit, why tell me all of this now? We're in the middle of our promotion." You squeeze their hand a bit, furrowing your brows, "I was here worrying about how me liking that post would do to you or… ruin your reputation or something. And here you are confessing to me right after I did that."

"You didn't ruin anything," Hange chuckles lightly, "And, well, even if there's going to be some.. dating allegations after that…"

Hange chucks their head side to side, a smile playing on their lips.

"Well, they're just fan theories. Mere speculation. Just harmless gossip, don't mind them too much. Unless…" Hange ducks their head to meet your gaze once again, their eyes visible just below the frame of their glasses.

"Unless you want to disprove them, darling?" Hange chuckles again, "Because after all that confession I've been doing, I didn't exactly hear any rejections."

"Well…" You ponder for a second. You have had your eyes on them for a while now. And who knows, maybe it'll be fun, hiding this relationship for a bit, having Hange to yourself before the world's speculation proves themselves right. "I'm not rejecting you, no."

Hange smiles, a glint in their eyes appearing.

"Good, good." Hange kisses your hand softly. "So…" Hange straightens their posture and looks at you with a rather mischievous, playful look in their eyes.

"What do you say we recreate our confrontation scene and make our own spin on it?"

[hollowed-theory-hall]

You know what fucks with me? Is it ever like actually fully explained how in the Deathly Hallows, Ron and Hermione get into the Chamber of Secrets by themselves. Is Parseltongue just a language people can learn now? Did they make Ron retroactively a Parselmouth too? Or is the chamber dumb enough that you can do the snake equivalent of meowing back at a cat at it and it'll go 'seems legit'

Another one for the 'what the heck happened to the writing in this book' pile maybe

Honestly, yes, that was so contrived, and for, like, no reason.

I mean, the explanation in the book is this:

“But how did you get in there?” he asked, staring from the fangs to Ron. “You need to speak Parseltongue!” Ron made a horrible strangled hissing noise. “It’s what you did to open the locket,” he told Harry apologetically. “I had to have a few goes to get it right, but,” he shrugged modestly, “we got there in the end.”

(DH, 623)

So, it's exactly a person meowing back at a cat, you're spot on with that description. It's so bad Harry doesn't actually recognize it as words in Parsletongue the way he always does, because Ron isn't speaking it! He isn't actually saying anything, just hissing randomly!

Which makes it bizarre the chamber actually opened to him like this. Seems like either loose security, some contrived magic helping Ron out or he was very lucky. Honestly, I prefer to believe he got the hissing lucky that one time, it seems more probable than the other options.

JKR did state in an interview Dumbledore learned Parsletongue, or at least, knew to understand it when spoken to him, but I don't treat it as canon. It doesn't make sense with everything we know about Parseltongue as a magical language, the way speakers of it just hear it as English, Harry has to strain for a moment to realize it's a different language (he can tell in the memories in book 6 if he listens carefully). Also, Dumbledore seems to me in these memories he's showing Harry like he doesn't understand the Parsletongue. And as I take the books' texts over the interviews when it comes to evidence, I don't believe he can and I chose to believe you can't learn Parsletongue and Ron got really lucky with one of his attempts to mimic Harry.

All in all, it seems she just decided you could learn Parsletongue in book 7 and ran with it. I don't even know why, since, like, it wasn't necessary? There were plenty of pages she could've replaced with Harry going down to the chamber considering how much time is spent on very little, well, anything. And if she really didn't want to add that scene it could've been an invisible scene like: "Harry opened the Chamber for Ron and Hermione to retrieve basilisk fangs,"

Like, I get wanting to give Ron a win, but he gets wins, he destroyed the locket and there are other ways to give him wins that don't include changing the very rules of magic.

Book 7 annoys me from an analysis standpoint, it makes theorizing harder instead of easier sometimes and it frustrates me so much more than the frankly bizarre writing choices. Although they bother me too, especially the pacing and structure of the book, but that's a whole rant on its own.

[mmmichyyy]

🌸 gallavich fic rec list 🌸

welcome to my 2023 fic rec list! i went through my ao3 bookmarks and my tumblr tags from this year so here's some (not all, or else this post would go on forever) of my fave (new & older) one-shots, completed multi-chaps, wips & ficlets <3

make sure to check out my 2021 list & my 2022 list ! since i'm not going to include fics i've mentioned before in this year's list :)

& don't forget to check out @gallavichfanficlibrary @gallavich-fic-club @gallavichthings @thegallavault for more recs plus @galladrabbles & @gallavichmeta too ✨ let's go!

one-shots:

doesn't matter where we go by @heymacy (The boys take a road trip.)

to think that we could stay the same by teatrolley (post-breakup au, but Mickey gets out of prison, Caleb doesn't exist, and we get really into their past and Ian’s (struggling) head)

of going home by @lalazeewrites (Valiant has taken the greatest fall from grace the superhero world has witnessed in years. The Shrike is an unregistered vigilante who doesn't even ping the radar of Chicago's crime fighting scene. Ian is forcibly put on leave from his job and returns to the Gallagher house, a failure all over again. Not only does he not know what Mickey does when the world goes dark, he doesn't know that Mickey is still living southside at all. Not since the events of eight years ago.)

quiet by @babygirlmickey (In the quiet of a perceived absence of scrutiny, Mickey can be incontrovertibly tender. Or: 5 times Mickey lets his guard down, as observed by various third parties.)

all i need in this life of sin (is me and my husband) by literatii (As embarrassing as it might be, Ian is not only his husband but also his best friend, and Mickey is pretty damn okay with that. Why the fuck would he find other people to do the exact same shit with that he already does with Ian, minus the fucking, when he can just do that shit with Ian plus the fucking? It makes no sense. Or: Ian wants the two of them to have more friends. Mickey doesn’t.)

thirteen hours by @crossmydna (Ian has known for thirteen hours that he’s not crossing the border with Mickey, so he makes the most of the time he has left with him.)

queen of decatur by jaxington (“How’d you know that?” Ian asks, smelling chum in the water, the observant little fuck. “Not like your brothers are getting sent to lady prison all that often.” Mickey thumbs at his lip, trying to find a way out of this conversation. It probably wouldn’t be too hard to distract Ian just by taking of his pants, but he is trying this new thing where he actually tells Ian what’s going on in his head. “No.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “It’s my mom.”)

like strings of fire by @gardenerian (mickey finds a safe and colorful way for ian to indulge himself when hypersexuality rears its ugly head.)

the needle and the burning body by squash (jesuisgourde) (Mickey had two burning torches for hands but he knew what to do with them. Ian's head was on fire and all he knew was how to run and keep running. How to find a cliff and jump off. How to make Mickey chase after him, again and again. And in a cold cell in prison, Mickey catches him.)

some fucked up romcom by godisthedice (Two years after they locked him up, Mickey told himself that he was done with Ian fucking Gallagher for good. Two years as a free man and he's marrying him for all the wrong reasons.)

when the sun goes down by @sam-loves-seb (super cute and fluffy lifeguard au!)

lava java by @stocious (He's being really unprofessional. Mickey might not even be gay. He might be hitting on a straight man through takeout cups.)

here's to hoping i'm not what kills you by @crestfallercanyon (After a confrontation gone bad, Mickey and the Gallaghers get Ian to the hospital. And look, Mickey always knew that if the Gallaghers had a will they'd find a way, but being roped into their schemes himself wasn't something he'd planned on signing on for. All the Gallaghers need to know is Mickey's helping out because he's not pure fucking evil. They don't need to know Mickey was scared shitless when Ian got knocked unconscious, Jesus, he can barely admit that to himself. Once Mickey knows Ian's not dead and not dying, he's out of there. Except he can't bring himself to leave.)

to the thawing wind by @gardenerian (Living and working in the icy chill of an endless winter, Ian and his family are assigned to work the farms to bolster food supply. They live quietly enough, following the rules, until Mickey and Mandy Milkovich (with all their secrets) are moved in across the road.)

i'll come meet you where you are by @crestfallercanyon (Mickey comes back from prison with a ring of vicious bruises around his neck and an edge to him Ian doesn't recognize. But he came back. He came back, and now it's time for Ian to meet him halfway.

closing in walls and ticking clocks by c_cups_bitch_u_wish (So, this is happening. Mickey is sitting in the corner of the bedroom on the comfiest fucking chair he’s ever sat in, and his adult self and adult Ian are about to fuck. And he’s going to watch. What's most odd is that this doesn't even feel like the weirdest thing to happen to him today.)

a spark of fire by @lingy910y (“You wanted us to finally have some time alone. You wanted to keep me safe, but you didn’t really care as long as we were together. You didn’t want it to end.” Mickey swallows a lump in his throat. “I…I don’t fuckin’ know.” “But can I, uh, ask you something else?” Ian rubs his thumbs together. “You like me, Mick. You fucking like me.”)

flip fuck? by @gallawitchxx (Mickey’s always thought that Valentine’s Day was fucking gay. But then some dramatic, ginger fuckhead had to move into the room next to his, and steal his hole, his heart, and the attention of his tumblr mutuals. Mickey decides to keep it lowkey when he asks Ian to spend the evening together: You wanna hang out on Tuesday? Ian’s response is quick and gives absolutely nothing away: Sure thing! That big-dicked idiot better remember it’s fucking Valentine’s Day.)

completed:

prelude motel by @whatthebodygraspsnot (When Mickey’s secret spot is infiltrated by an intriguing stranger, all the warning signs are there. Despite the voice in the back of his head telling him to disengage, he can’t help but bite off more than he can chew, running straight back to the spot and the stranger when a job leaves him injured. Enter: the Prelude Motel - where, for the next three days, Mickey finds himself hiding from more than just his pursuers.)

garden song (series) by @gardenerian (two gorgeous fics about ian's bipolar, about hope, healing, and tomatoes)

better by anomalously (It's been ten years since Ian's seen Mickey.)

in your love by @sgtmickeyslaughter (Mickey had been out of prison for 2 years and Ian never would have known until they ran into one another on a random night in May. Ian fights for the love they shared while Mickey fights for the life he built, as they both struggle with shame and guilt from their shared past it becomes clear that they cannot help but be drawn to what is bright and beautiful between them.)

whumptober 2023 (series) by @sam-loves-seb (21 beautiful fics of angst & hurt/comfort)

out of nowhere by @suzy-queued (Ian should have never offered to hide his father's stash of gold. Now he's stuck living on a deserted piece of land in the woods, alone, losing his sanity. Mickey wants nothing more than to disappear — from prison, from his family, from the entire world. If only he knew where to get his hands on a cool million. The Gallagher gold. Mickey wants it. Ian will do anything to protect it. Who will cave first?)

all these things i have left to say to you by @crestfallercanyon (After all this time that Ian's been missing, he leaves a tape recorder on Mickey's pillow. And on it? An hour of pure, unfiltered, Ian audio that is all, apparently, dedicated to him.)

wips:

keys to my heart by @milkovichrules (Ian finds his stable college life getting difficult when a new neighbour moves into the dorms.)

intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar (another college au) (one of my fave fics of all time!!)

the ink is a witness to this by @palepinkgoat (six chapters about the stories tattoos can hold and hide.)

order up by @heymacy (Ian and Mickey work together at a Chicago diner. They like to push each other's buttons - all their buttons. How long until the dam finally breaks?)

second chapters by @squidyyy23 (When Mickey’s PO assigns him a job at the local library, he’s pleasantly surprised—not that he’d ever admit it. Practically lived in the prison library, and what better way to start his new life than with a career he might actually enjoy. And when he meets the charming, clever, utterly fuckable, redheaded children’s librarian, well, shit just keeps getting better and better. Mickey’s definitely not interested in anything serious right now, but what’s the harm in a little fun?)

electric blue by @goodkwuestion (Paramedic Ian Gallagher knows true love exists. He's not going to settle until he finds it either, no matter how much his friends and family roll their eyes at him. Mickey Milkovich, on the other hand, isn't sure about all that stuff. He's an engineer with a long to-do list, and chasing rainbows isn't on it. He'll never say no to a good time and a pretty face though. When they meet, it will feel like kismet, something inevitable that neither of them can shake. Honestly though, who would want to? Falling in love can be the easiest thing in the world, especially when the whole universe is rooting for you... That's if the whole universe is rooting for you.)

ficlets:

all of @heymrspatel's drabbles, especially this one of ian being self-conscious about his body

docks scene & birthday suit gardening ficlets by @metalheadmickey

all of @lupeloto's sweet & domestic ficlets

@sam-loves-seb's meta about ian being the moon and mickey being the sun

ian's birthday ficlet & 31 ways we never meet (a.u.gust 2023 ficlets) by @callivich

airport confessions by @dynamic-power

gallavich drabbles by @whatthebodygraspsnot

all of @howlinchickhowl's a.u.gust 2023 ficlets!

(if you made it this far, i also write fics occasionally too so here's a self-promo lol)

[specialagentartemis]

regarding your utopian book idea, i've had this idea for a story (in my head it's a tv show but lets be real it's staying in my brain forever) about criminals in a super powered setting going through a restorative justice system, and all the ways that it can be messy as hell.

Like their core belief of "if the worst mass murderer in human history (immortal OC) can take just one step back from the edge, anyone can, over and over again, and we have a duty to help them do it" is *true*, but it is not easy, or even logistically possible in some cases. And human cognition and psychology is so messy and it is human nature to fuck up and there is just. a lot.

anyways just wanted to share i got excited when i saw your post i too. like to think about things.

So many utopian stories I read (and granted, I haven't read a lot, but I've read several) are clearly aiming to imagine a nice and peaceful world, a perfect society one where we believe in restorative justice and all that... but utterly fail to imagine how it would work if it was populated with real human beings, so everyone in the story is incredibly homogeneous and Just Nice. There's no conflict because everybody does the right thing the first time - and if there is any conflict, it's quickly resolved through talking about it and everyone apologizes and makes up within 24 hours. No real differences of opinion exist, and nobody ever does anything actually bad.

It's frequently boring even at the best of times, and at its worst, it does the opposite of the "inspiring hope!" that it intends to do - it makes me cynical. It makes me think, gotcha, you think peace is only possible if everybody has the exact same attitudes and beliefs and personalities and holds no strong opinions because that's the only way to eliminate conflict. That doesn't inspire hope - if anything it inspires despair, because that is not going to happen.

So I would be so interested in a story like this, that takes on the ideals of restorative justice and rehabilitation head-on, that goes, okay, how will this actually work? When people do bad things - and they will - even in a society that raises and educates children to have respect for each other well, that has eliminated structural bigotry, that has eliminated capitalism and poverty, that has a flourishing artistic scene where anyone can express themselves, that has guaranteed food and housing and medical care for everyone with no strings attached, that has the enshrined right and structural support for people (including children) to leave situations they don't want to be in, that has most hard-labor and exploitative jobs replaced by automation - what is the actual response? Even in such a society, some people will still hurt other people. It will happen. There has never been a society on Earth where people didn't hurt other people sometimes. There will be people who want incompatible things. There will be resources that more people want than can have. There will be conflicts that need to be addressed and managed. And obviously writers aren't obligated to solve every world problem perfectly (if it were easy, we'd have done it by now), but attempts at writing utopia that simply go "no there won't!" are both boring and dishonest.

All of that is to say: I would love to watch this hypothetical show, to see a genuine attempt at grappling with such a theme!

[yannaryartside]

Sydney has never antagonized Carmy

I keep coming back to that scene between Cicero and Sydney where he tells her basically how insufferable Carmy is, but she just says “I don't know what you want me to say to that. There is a layer to this about Carmy being her superior, but it is definitely more than that, the bear operates like a family joint and Syd is part of it, she is expected to take part in the drama.

There has always been a tendency between the people that surround Carmy to criticize him, both when he is doing good or doing bad.

Now, this season Carmy really continued the circle of violence he was once trapped in. He did it because he thought it was the only way he could be the best, because evil chef taught him so. The show made a point to show us Carmys kind nature until s2 so we could understand that the abuse he inflicts on others doesn't come from a place of actual malice.

But his family doesn't know about evil chef. Knowing it will not make Carmy’s behavior okay either. The way most violent people were abused as well.

Sydney has never acted like Carmys behavior is okay, even when his family ignored the other shitty things he has done because it didnt affect them directly until now.

All that being said, it was amazing to see Sydney never talking bad about Carmy behind him. The scene with her and Cicero was a stellar example of it.

Now, why doesn't she takes sides? Why not talk about Carmy behind his back?

Because that won't resolve anything, it would not be helpful to anybody. She doesn't take sides (this is not a you vs us thing) she doesn't judge. She even comforts Cicero about his regrets in his lack of involvement with the bear kids, when she grew up with a very present father herself, she could have judge, she didn't.

Edit: idk if I was sucesfull on making a point here:

Sydney doesn't like to condemn or limit the potential of people to what she knows is the worst of them. Her whole relationship with Richie is a good example of it. Once he started to show up for her and she saw that he cares for the restaurant she started trusting him. She has endured Carmys antics in part because she knows how much he can encourage and support the ones surrounding him, her included. Even faith has its limits of course.

I just wanted to highlight that judging/condemning others is easy, especially behind their backs. She never assumed she knew the whole story. She never took any high ground. She just called it shitty behavior as she saw it, and even did it with patience and love for everyone involved.

There is a sad undertone to all this, wich is as a black woman she may feel she needs to put her own needs aside for the things she wants to achieve. I think she took a role of a protector this season. She may have felt she was responsible for helping the crew under her survive this, even when she constantly called on Carmys bullshit.

She was a good friend, she has been a good person all around even how much she has been push. I don't want to advocate for women to be limited to the moral compass for the tragic hero. Still, I am sure that if she were a male or white, you would see all corners of the Bear fandom treat this character like the equivalent of Captain America or Superman. She will be the hero and Carmen will be the villain. Because she is indeed the moral compass, she is an example to the viewer on how to react with maturity, holistic view, and compassion to all the messed up situations the story throws her in.

[konigsluvr]

Hey hey! I'd like to request König headcanons please. I was thinking more of his childhood but it can be anything really :D thanks x

Also I'm an Avatar fan too! Don't seem to know a lot of people who are into both #teamneteyam

Hey!! I looooove Avatar so much, I haven't been reading it much lately but 2 months ago I was on tumblr all day, everyday just reading various Avatar fics (best days of my life). I miss neteyam so much :(( I really hope this is to your liking<3 i have included some NSFW headcannons, but there will be a warning, if you are uncomfortable, just skip. Reposts are highly appreciated. I will literally marry you. And of course, here I present...

★ navigation ★ masterlist ★

König Headcanons

Includes: Childhood König. König x fem!reader. Fluff. Spice. Smut.

☆ As said in his biography, he has suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life. This probably started developing in maybe late childhood/early teens.

☆ I can picture him as the quiet kid in school. Had a couple chill friends that he was comfortable around and hung out with after school.

☆ I think König was average grade student (like me lmao), not bad grades but not super good either, he just did what he had to do at school.

☆ He liked helping around the house so he could contribute and help his parents save time.

☆ He applied to the military at 17, having a job that allows him to blow off steam would help with his anxiety sometimes but if it's a more dangerous mission than usual, his anxiety might peak but he could have coping mechanisms.

☆ Even though he is 6'10" and literally all muscle, he can't stay still. Due to his anxiety again, he is fidgety at times depending on the social situation he is in. Now this leads onto the relationship stuff.

☆ With him being fidgety, I feel his love language is physical touch. He can sometimes struggle with his words but you always know that he loves you when he cuddles you or does little things like playing with your hair or holding your hand whenever you are in public.

☆ König isn't the best at working with technology but you'll show him how he can text you and phone you, so whenever he has free time at base or whenever he isn't with you, expect him spamming you with texts because he misses you so much :((

☆ He has a gym at home for when he wants to work out but with him having such a physical job he doesn't feel the need to workout everyday, maybe 3 or 4 times a week when he's home with you but at base he'll do it more as its like the only thing to do there.

☆ He enjoys going on walks. When he's home with you he'll love going on a walk in the woods or just wondering around town with you, go shopping to get food for supper or something, he'll sneakily buy flowers to surprise you. At base, he sometimes can't sleep well so he'll just walk around for some fresh air to clear his mind.

☆ His down time with you would be watching your favourite show or a random movie. He would do it just to cuddle up or be with you but he will get invested. Like I watched the notebook last night and I was thinking about König crying as you watch the notebook together.

☆ Like you'll be watching the movie and a sad scene comes up, you are already crying and you hear a sniffle but it isn't from you. You turn to your left and see a tear rolling down Königs cheek. This will make you cry harder as you wipe away his tears and cuddle into his neck.

☆ With König having a high payed job, he has a lot of money that he doesn't know how to spend. Lucky him, he has you. You would tell him its no bother, that you have enough clothes and pretty jewellery to last you a lifetime but he drags you to the car to your favourite store and you can't help but give in.

☆ He would get a former guard dog and train it to only command you and him, this dog would stay at home with you all the time. You would take it out walks and just spend your whole day with it. He wants to make sure you are safe all of the time.

NSFW AHEAD!!

☆ He likes to take it slow, make ethereal love to you and treat you like your made of glass. You would let a few tears roll down your cheek from his sweetness.

☆ Pussy eater!!! He is like a god with his tongue. Worships your clit like its his favourite thing while his fingers work in and out of you. It doesn't matter if you are crying from overstimulation, you have a safe word. His only mission is making you cum.

☆ Loves face sitting, literally just loves your pussy on his face and your thighs pushing against the side of his head. You would tell him that you are too heavy, he huffs frustrated and pulls you down on him and instantly gets to work. Let's just say, you forgot about what you said 3 seconds ago.

☆ Breeding kink. Sorry, not sorry. In all his fantasies about you, it's you all pretty n pregnant with his baby. You will have that pregnant woman glow and he just can't keep his hands off of you. He doesn't really wear condoms but you'll usually be on the pill, he still struggles to pull out but it's nearly impossible for him. But when he does cum in you, he finds it the sexiest thing ever. He'll use his fingers to plunge his load back into you to feed his growing hunger.

☆ He loves when you top him and take your time with him, but he also enjoys being in charge and having his sole focus on you, even if you just came for the fourth time from his tongue and his cock is rock hard.

☆ The ratio between him giving you head and you giving him head is very diverse. He loves a good blowie but only does it when you want to, he will never ask you.

☆ Isn't one for quickies, he wants to take his time with you. He wouldn't like the risk of someone else seeing you being intimate with him, that is a sight only for him to see.

☆ Isn't afraid to make noise in the bedroom. Whimpering. Moaning. Whining. Groaning. He does it all.

I hoped you liked this!! If you have any more requests don't be shy. Stay safe and take care of yourself my lovies xx

[stariikis]

𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 | 𝐤𝐬𝐧

synopsis ; you're definitely sunoo's number one photographer, said so even by himself. usually you're the first to be pointed out by him, but today he doesn't even spare you a glance before walking in his concert venue.

pairing ; guitarist!sunoo x femphotographer!reader genre ; hurt/comfort, fluff, established rs, oneshot disclaimer ; this is NOT an smau, i just included these two texts for context ^^ enjoy reading!

(click to expand pictures)

Hurriedly fishing your digital camera out of its pouch, you alight the bus and rush towards where hundreds, nearly thousands of people are congregating. There's a good mix of male and female fans, but they all have one thing in common - they're here to see your boyfriend perform.

Two teenage girls whisper behind hands to each other, barely concealing their excitement. You can feel their gazes burning your back alive as they try to subtly point at you, but it's no use for them. Before they can scurry off, you turn and wave at them.

As much as you would like to have your own meet and greet with Sunoo's fans, you slip past the blinding camera flashes, huge tripod set-ups and the bustling groups of fans to reach the front of the crowd. Hoping to catch a glimpse of your boyfriend before he makes it into the venue.

After apologising to several mildly annoyed fans, you finally stumble out of the crowd. And there, a little ways away, Sunoo turns to face you. Everyone around you starts to scream, when the artist begins to tug his guitar case from the back of the van.

While everyone marvels at the sight of Kim Sunoo right before their eyes, all you are looking at is the sticker you pasted on the back of his case. The signature he asked you to put, hidden next to the zipper. You wonder if everybody else sees it, too, or if it's a secret for you to keep.

Girlfriend privileges, you joke to yourself.

When Sunoo successfully heaves the case over his shoulder, a surprisingly loose grip on the sling, he turns back around to greet his fans.

Usually, his gaze scans the crowd to search for you. His eyes will visibly sparkle with an eagerness that can't be explained when they land on you. He'll grin to himself, do a tiny little wave of glee and continue walking to his destination.

However, this time, he seems either oddly sure that you're not around, or is plain ignoring your presence. Dramatically, like a scene in a movie or tv show, time seems to slow. Sunoo's eyes skip past you, moving with the crowd. And as the crowd moves with Sunoo and his bodyguards, the only barrier a few mere cones, you stand still.

You're fortunate that the strap connected to your camera is looped around your wrist when you drop the whole thing abruptly.

No. This can't be. You're not only Sunoo's girlfriend. You're his tip-top personal photographer. The highest HD qualities of him come from your digital Canon camera, and your camera only. You're not going to go home with an empty camera roll.

Relying on the hope that the security guards recognise you, you enter the area marked by the cones and dart after Sunoo.

"Yah!" You yell out, to nobody in particular as you enter the restricted zone in the stadium. It's a huge recreational area, off boundaries just for today's concert. Breaking through the crowd for the second time definitely stalled you for too long, because Sunoo is nowhere to be found in the empty room.

Across the dark, foot-ball field sized room, there's a staircase, leading to the backstage. You assume that's where Sunoo is, since he needs to rehearse with the two others in the band in about... you check your watch. About ten minutes.

You can hear Jungwon's voice trailing from the floor above, and that's what helps you make the decision to take the stairs up.

Why you decided to run, slip and fall at the first three steps of the staircase, however, you're not very sure. An agonising pain shoots up your ankle while your camera skids across the ground.

Letting out a hiss, you bring your hands to grab the base of your leg, willing the sharp pain away. Your head's a little dazed, but you can recognise Riki as he rushes down the stairs upon hearing the loud crash.

"Y/n!" He exclaims, doing a 360 to see if Sunoo's nearby. "What did you do? Are you okay?"

"No, not really," you wince a little sarcastically, trying not to break face in front of Sunoo's bandmate, who has assigned you as his punching bag of teasing remarks. Riki rolls his eyes and straightens up to call your boyfriend over.

"Sunoo! Your girlfriend's injured!"

Your eyes squeezed shut to block out the pain, you don't notice when Sunoo flies down the stairs and materialises right next to you after a few minutes pass.

"Hey, y/n, what did you do to yourself?" He presses an ice pack against your right ankle in lieu of your hands gripping it desperately.

"It's okay, I think it's just sprained," Riki sighs and continues unhelpfully, "you're such a bad boyfriend. I was the first one down here."

"Yah!" Sunoo glares his way. "You took one look at her and didn't know what to do and called me!"

"I'm joking, hyung," Riki raises his hands in a surrendering motion, the laid-back grin on his face never dissipating. With that, he spins on his heel and walks back up the stairs, leaving you and Sunoo in silence.

When you can't take the chilling quietness anymore, you blurt, "what did I do?"

You're prone to overthinking, yes, but there must be a reason warranting why Sunoo refused to acknowledge you there outside the venue.

"What did you do?" Sunoo echoes in confusion, tilting his head and adjusting the ice pack on your ankle. "What do you mean?"

"Did you not see me earlier?" you hiccup, and it hasn't even occurred to you that you're crying. The ice is doing little to numb the pain, and with Sunoo acting so off, you're not sure how to feel okay. "You didn't greet me, didn't wave. You just walked away."

"Y/n," Sunoo laughs, "I really, truly, didn't know you were there." He whips his phone out of his pocket and opens your chat, continuing to chuckle quietly to himself. "I'm so sorry I didn't see your texts. I had already reached the venue and had no idea you were there too. I assumed you were going to be late."

Your voice cracks embarrassingly when you say, "you could have at least tried," before shoving his shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry, baby," he murmurs, half-amused. He does not sound sorry at all. But then he leans back, pouts, and then kisses the top of your head. "I'll let you get even better resolution pictures, okay?"

Although Sunoo's interpretation of what an apology is... may be a little warped, he's still your boyfriend, and the show must go on. As promised, when you take your front row seats next to both Jungwon's and Riki's respective plus ones, you take the best, most satisfactory pictures you've ever taken.

you're just the best at photography aren't you 🥰

thank you for reading!! feedback is always appreciated.

more of my works >

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Heyy, love what you do. You're amazing.

I was looking for sterek fics where Derek has a dirty mouth, even porn couldn't compare to the things that come out of his mouth when he is with stiles. ♥️♥️♥️

Cover your ears ya'll.

A quickie in the janitors closet by pizzz_10

(1/1 842)

Stiles wanted to go lunch after class, but Derek has other ideas

Something to Remember Me By by 1lostone

(1/1 I 5,038)

At a graduation party, Derek makes some assumptions.

Stiles sets him straight.... so to speak.

Gordian Knot (Of Sex) by tourdefierce

(1/1 I 5,859)

Losing his virginity was hard enough when Lydia Martin was his sole focus. Now there are werewolves involved and this is way crazier. For one, there are a lot more dicks involved. (To be fair, in some of his fantasies, Lydia Martin had an impressive rubber cock.) Either way, Stiles doesn't know why he thought getting rid of his pesky virginity was going to be easier with Derek involved—the guy is practically allergic to doing anything the easy way and that includes Stiles. Being done. Because he's easy. What.

Things We Know, Unsaid by uraneia 

(1/1 I 6,036)

Stiles accidentally finds a trunk full of Derek's professional dom gear from when he lived in New York. They don't talk about it. Then Stiles turns eighteen, and they do.

*

If he thought Derek would be angry or embarrassed at Stiles finding a trunk full of quality BDSM gear in his closet, he’d have been wrong. “I used to do it professionally, in New York,” Derek says easily, and Stiles—Stiles doesn’t know how to process that. Because he’s seventeen and has eyes and an unfortunately vivid imagination, and if he lets it go there he’s not going to get any use out of any body part except his dick for several hours.

Feel You Breathing by sugareey

(3/3 I 8,400)

Derek: So, you need a distraction.

Stiles: Maybe Stiles: It’d be better if you were here to help me with that. Stiles: ;D

[Or: Sexy things start late one night when Derek gets a text from Stiles and escalate from there. A few secrets are revealed along the way.]

Melt Me Slowly Down by maichan808 (maichan)

(1/1 I 20,307)

The last thing Stiles expects when he walks into Lydia’s exclusive S&M club is to rescue a sub who’s obviously been mistreated for a long time. His name is Derek, and when he awkwardly reaches out, asking Stiles to be his Dom, the urge to shield Derek from more pain is too strong for Stiles to resist. But Derek is still recovering from his past and learning how to set boundaries, so they have to take things slow.

Incredibly Gifted Fakers by Fortem

(21/? I 76,596)

Stiles desperately needs a new scene partner and Derek desperately needs a job. They may just be able to help each other out, if they remember that this is all supposed to be acting.

Yoda Said It Best by OKDeanna

(21/21 I 99,128)

Derek Hale knows he as a problem. Contrary to what some might believe, he isn’t stupid. He knows the Jeep has meaning to him, real meaning. The kind of meaning that he doesn’t want to think about, let alone stop and have to analyze. Except… his son keeps pushing him about it, prodding at him, and then before Derek knows it, Stiles is back in Beacon Hills, driving the one thing in the world Derek wishes he never had to set eyes on again. If Derek isn’t careful, he could open himself up to a fall, and that would affect more than just his son but also his own traitorous heart. Because with Stiles back, Derek finally has hope again, and its making him want the things he knows better than to ever crave: a home, a future, a life—love.

Domestication by Arver7, Moit

(37/37 I 280,892)

Derek and Stiles are heat partners, but neither realises how invested the other one is. When Stiles winds up pregnant, their relationship gets more serious, even if neither of them knows how to handle it.