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jakeyt · 2 years

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Covet: Chapter 1

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Word Count: 12k+

Genre: and they were ROOMMATES; slowburn; enemies to lovers; enemies to lovers to friends to who knows what the hell they are

Warnings: (most of these are to come and not explicitly taking place in this chapter) 18+ (minors stay away); struggles with anxiety; absent parents; use of drugs and alcohol; sexual situations; etc. *each chapter will include the warnings that you should be aware of as the reader. i promise.* <3

Covet Masterlist

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a/n: woo! hi all! this is the very first fic that i am publishing for the gvf fandom, so i will admit, that when i say i am a little (very) nervous. . .I MEAN IT. it’s taking a lot for me to share this. . .but, i am so very passionate about this work. i am truly dying to share it with you all.

this will be a longer, angsty, alternate universe (!!), slooowburn story (you'll have to wait for the ~stuff~, sorry).

and this chapter is a very long intro chapter. lol. sorry in advance.

i have pictures of the boys that can accompany the chapters, if you're interested in checking those out. . .pictures that aide in showing you what the boys look like as the story goes on. (for anyone interested, the doc will be attached in the notes at the end of the chapter.)

i hope anyone who reads this enjoys this little brain child of mine. it is very special to me and i hope it is received well.

please enjoy! <3

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is “illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

_ _ _

Covet: to greatly desire, yearn for, or want a person.

And, on the same hand: to begrudge a person.

_ _ _

Chapter 1

May, 2022

Brooklyn, NY

The sun was shining brightly through the window of the Black and Gold, the cozy and charming record store you worked at in east Brooklyn.

It was quite the picturesque morning. You had woken with enough time to make a protein smoothie and take a light jog. And after your jog, you were decently sweaty and you’d still had enough time on the clock to take a relatively long shower afterwards.

Now, you were at the B&G, and you had about ten minutes before the shop opened. Today would be a busy one, so you took advantage of the calm before the storm.

You were using this time to sit behind the work computer and browse Amazon. You were on the hunt for a cute little cat tree. Today, you would be adopting a sweet feline that you’d recently inquired about from a nearby shelter. As soon as you got off work, you were set to pick her up.

You could hear the birds chirping so beautifully outside to welcome the spring day. You were glad you were opening the shop this morning. Anytime you opened, it felt so overwhelmingly relaxing and safe.

And, it felt even better to be working the opening shift on the very first day of your summer vacation. You sighed in relief of your summer officially beginning.

Your junior year of college had finally finished. It had absolutely been the most draining of your undergraduate years so far. So, you welcomed today gladly and openly. It was refreshing. You could actually breathe again.

It was very nearly the same refreshing feeling you always had when you finished with classes. That feeling of relief and finality that could compare to little else.

But, as much as you loved summer, you really did love school. You loved being a college girl and taking the proper steps to eventually live out your dream. There really was no question about how much you loved college. Everyday was spent pursuing your passion for writing to eventually become an author – it had been everything you’d ever wanted. Truly.

But, you were human. A human with anxiety at that. So, you loved times of peace and low stress.

Now, all you’d have to worry about was: reading and writing in your spare time; seeing your wonderful grandparents more often; and getting to hang out with Josh.

You grinned when you thought of the goofy, curly-headed man.

Josh Kiszka was your best friend in the city. You had been close for a few years. You had met each other at the Black and Gold about three years ago when you first walked into the record shop, asking if they were hiring. He had been the manager on duty that day. He’d taken little time that day to find the proper application for you to fill out, and had basically hired you on the spot. Now that you were so closely friends with him, that instance was so characteristically Josh, it brought another small smile to your face.

You began your job here almost as soon as you graduated high school. Your grandparents hadn’t allowed you to have a job in the city while you were still an ‘impressionable’ high schooler. Though, as soon as you turned eighteen and you walked the stage, diploma in hand, you bet your ass you started seeking out record stores to work for in the city. You loved music as much as you loved to write, so a record store was the only viable job option, in your opinion.

You had been determined to have a job nailed down before you ever stepped onto the campus of the Pratt Institute. Pratt had been the object of your desire ever since your sophomore year of high school when your sister, Elsie, who was then still a junior, had decided to attend there to maintain a degree in journalism.

Then, last year, you had watched Elsie so gracefully cross the stage and switch her tassel from one side to the other at that very Institute. She had given you a double thumbs-up and one of the dumb little faces you two would often exchange. And in that moment, you’d been so proud to have followed in her footsteps. She was your closest confidant, Josh coming in second.

While you both attended school, she had been your roommate. The summer before freshman year, you’d moved all of your necessary belongings into the apartment your grandparents had chosen for her the year prior. Living with her had been what all dreams were made of. It had been the two of you against the world – just like always.

But, last May, when she graduated, she’d officially left you. She had started traveling the world to be the best journalist the world would ever see. (You were, admittedly, a bit biased, but almost everyone who knew her knew what a fantastic writer she was.)

She was a hard worker, and as genetics would have it, so were you. You always had been the hardest worker in your class. You’d been a straight-A student as far back as you could remember. Your senior year of high school, all of your teachers had been beyond thrilled to write recommendation letters for you to submit with your application to Pratt.

Your teachers had waited with you, on baited breath, to receive the acceptance letter.

You had waited a few (long) months to receive the letter that answered every prayer imaginable. Pratt’d accepted you, and it was history from there.

You had then gotten your job here, at the Black and Gold, moved in with your sister to her apartment, and started school that August. You had decided several years prior that anywhere you went, you’d major in writing and minor in music (the latter falling under ‘media studies’ at Pratt).

And, even though you missed your sister, living alone had been an almost exhilarating experience for the past year. You were able to live life for you and you alone. It was wonderful. And, now, you were almost done with school, on your way to becoming an author.

And you had a cat on the way.

Life simply couldn’t get any better.

🌼 🌼 🌼

Like you knew it would be, this Friday in the shop had been a busy one. Everyone on this side of Brooklyn knew you got shipment in on Thursdays, and Josh always featured the best records to lure customers in further.

You weren’t unhappy to see all of the customers, though. You loved people. You loved getting to see regulars and meet new people. As did Josh.

At this moment, there was a lady in front of you both, asking if the record she was holding was ‘worth a shot’. It had been one that Josh had deemed appropriate for the ‘Featured Wall’ (a pegged wall with display hooks for the vinyl). Naturally, he was ready to talk it up. It was a film score. Of course.

“Now, this one is quite exquisite,” Josh said, in his mature voice, he held the vinyl with one hand. His other hand was flourishing as he spoke. “You see, this film was filled with such sorrow and heartache, but redemption all the same – the music from the feature reflects just that. It’s stupendous, really.”

Of course, the woman instantly became convinced. He had such a way of talking to people. Charisma was the word for it. You admired that about him. Though, there were many qualities you admired about the man. You could hardly begin to list them all.

You could easily say that being a good friend topped the list of wonderful things about him.

He had been the main person (besides your sister) that you turned to when you needed to talk for the past three years. But now that she was gone? He’d essentially been all you’d had for the past year. And you had already kind of known this about him, but the past year had taught you that he was easily the most empathetic person you’d ever met.

You loved Josh and you were always trying your hardest to be the kind of friend to him that he consistently was to you.

He checked the woman’s vinyl out for her, talking her ear off the whole time. He laughed at the right times, showing he was listening intently to every word she said. He had a way of drawing people in to him, and this older woman was no different.

As she left, he started talking to you, still facing the register, making sure to balance it after that transaction.

“I haven’t even had time to ask you,” he turned to you after closing the drawer. “How has your first official day of summer vacation been?”

You put a finger to your chin, pretending to think deeply at the question. You scrunched your lips to one side to add to the effect.

He chuckled at you, his eyes becoming soft. “You are so endearing, Y/N,” he gave you a look and a raise of his brow, a smolder on his face. “But not quite as endearing as that sister of yours.”

You laughed at that. Josh was a mess for Elsie. Since the first time she’d dropped lunch off for you at the shop, and he’d seen her that very first time – he’d been hooked. You were pretty sure he had actually drooled a little.

He’d been quite vocal about her to you, but you knew he thought he didn’t stand a chance. He believed she was completely out of his league. He was truly besotted by her.

“Well, let’s see, I’m –.”

“I’m ready!” The excited person at the register, who donned three original presses, was a regular. She was a young, mousy, high-school aged girl named Stacy. She had an appreciation for all things vintage. You and Josh both liked her a lot for her individuality.

You made a quick conversation with her, asking if she was out for summer yet. She sadly replied that she wasn’t, but she was ‘so ready to be.’ You grinned, telling her you totally understood.

She flitted out the door as soon as she’d appeared, and you turned to Josh, ready to continue. Though, the thing you were most excited for was what you decided to mention first.

“I’m getting my cat today!”

He opened his mouth wide, all of his teeth showing. He raised his hands above his head in excitement, lifting to his toes a little as well. He felt every ounce of joy that you did, you could tell.

“Your landlord gave the okay?” he asked, surprised, lowering back to earth with you.

Your landlord could be a pain in the ass at times, but at the end of the day, you had a way with people, like Josh. And, you had gotten your way when you had asked so very sweetly. You might have pulled the “I feel so alone since my sister left” card . . . but you really wanted a cat. And it wasn’t a complete lie. You did occasionally long for someone to keep you company. And a cat could do just that.

“Of course,” you scoffed, as if the question was absurd. Then you gave a little grin. “Who could say no to the sweet little thing that is me?” You have a hair flip, adding to the bit.

“I never tell you this, but your humility is your best trait,” he remarked.

You both laughed at that.

“And your quiet demeanor is yours,” you gave a cheeky grin that he returned.

It was that grin of his where his dimple showed, and more of his gums showed than his teeth.

“What are you naming it?”

“Her,” you corrected. “And I’m naming her Stevie.”

“Nicks or Wonder?”

“Wonder,” you stated, as if it was even a question.

“Why did I even ask?” You both shook your heads, grinning at each other. “I love it, Y/N. It fits you.”

You decided to change the subject to him and his life. “How has your filmmaking been going?”

Josh loved film, and his ultimate dream was to be a director. He loved music, but not quite to the same degree as film.

“It’s alright,” he shrugged. Then, you could practically see the lightbulb gleam above his head, his eyes brightened with the imaginary bulb. “That reminds me! Could you, pretty please, with the reddest cherry on top, ask Elsie if she’d be in one of my upcoming projects?”

“Josh, she’s hardly in town,” you feign offense with an exaggerated hand to your heart and a gasp. “And what about me? Am I chopped liver? We do share the same genetics, my friend.”

“Y/N. She is my muse,” he gave you the funniest look of desperation. “Please.”

You conceded. You knew as soon as he asked you that you would talk to her about it. Of course you would. It was Josh and you’d do anything for him.

“Of course, Joshua,” you pinched his cheek and ruffled the curls that sat atop his head. The beads of his headband that laid against his neck shook as you did so. “Anything for you.”

He literally leapt with joy at that. And you knew the smile that was on his face wouldn’t leave for hours. You wished you could enamour someone in the way Josh was so enamored by your sister. That was a trait of hers you had been jealous of for years – she drew people in. Just like Josh drew people in.

You loved people, yes, but you weren’t this grand lamp that drew in all of the people around you like moths to a flame.

You longed for the day a guy would think of you the way Josh thought of her.

He continued, “Anyway, I am just so exci–.”

His eyebrows scrunched as his phone started blaring I Will Survive in his pocket, he got it out and his eyes squinted even harder as he looked at the wide screen.

He never got calls during work. Josh’s entire family knew his schedule. His brother Sam and their friend Danny were his roommates, so they knew. And, Josh talked to his mom so much. Like, they talked so often you simply knew that she knew what he had for lunch every single day. She obviously knew he was busy, which translated to his father knowing. And his sister was overseas, pursuing a degree.

“Everything okay?” you questioned, curiosity lacing your tone as his brows stayed knitted.

He shook his head, as if shaking himself from his daze. “Yeah, I just never–,” he shook his head again, his eyes widening as he slid his pointer finger across the screen. Josh held his phone like your grandpa held his, almost unsure of the smart device. He held the phone to his ear suddenly. His lips set in a pursed line, and his jaw clenched as the other person started talking. Then, as if he forgot you were standing there, already engaged in the cellular conversation, he looked at you suddenly. Then, he mouthed an “I’ve gotta take this,” and headed outside. He placed himself outside the shop in a way you couldn’t see him and your interest grew tenfold.

Who could it possibly be?

🌼 🌼 🌼

Minutes ticked by. The sun had sunk just a tad bit lower in the sky. And, you had checked out countless customers who all seemed to finish making their selections at the same. time.

You knew Josh had seen them all leave in a steady flow, bags in hand. On a normal day, he would have taken that as his cue to come back in and help you. But, he hadn’t come back in. Instead, he’d stayed out of sight, outside the store. You checked the clock that hung behind the cash register.

He’d been outside for thirty minutes. Damn.

You needed to leave in about an hour to get your cat.

He’d better be back in by then, you thought slightly grumpily. You knew your irritation wasn’t necessarily warranted. You knew if he was still outside, it was serious. At this point, you were more fuelled by your spirit of inquiry than anything else. You just wanted to know what was going on on the other side of Josh’s iPhone.

Finally, about five minutes later, he stomped back in. Josh never stomped. He usually glided.

Well. Now you wondered even more what the matter was. His face read dread and a healthy tinge of anger.

Before you could turn to him to ask your burning questions, a customer came up. You hurriedly checked him out, barely making conversation. At this point, you were more worried for your frazzled friend than making polite conversation with a stranger. And, again, that’s why people were drawn to Josh and not you. He wouldn’t have let his personal issues change his interactions with those around him.

Except now, he faced away from the store, back slightly hunched as he stared out the massive window behind the register. His arms were crossed, indicating even more that he was in deep thought.

As soon as you’d placed the customer’s record in one of the gold bags that were associated with your store, you turned to Josh. He was now teetering back and forth on his ropey sandals, his hand continuously raking through his once-perfectly-tousled curls. Now, the curls on his head matched the nervous energy he was exuding.

He was angled away from you, in his own world.

“Josh?” You were quiet, both for the benefit of the few customers in the store and your friend’s obvious distress. You stepped the couple of steps it took to be closer to him. You placed a hand on his arm, hoping your calm tone and the delicate gesture would communicate your concern.

He seemed to boost just the slightest bit at your touch. He turned his head in your direction, yet his eyes stayed planted to the happenings occurring outside the window. He was watching people. You knew he was surely doing so to latch on to one of their happy feelings, and feel that instead of the obvious anguish that was overtaking him.

His eyes met yours finally. You knew your eyes widened a bit when you saw his. Had he been crying? His eyes were a bit puffy, a tinge red and so sullen. You were definitely taken aback. Josh radiated joy almost always. . .this was a new emotion of his for you to experience. He hardly let bad things affect him, as he was always determined to find the bright side of things. And the joy he’d had when you two had last talked only forty minutes ago, was gone. His mouth was a flat frown.

“It’s–,” he cleared his throat, his voice having been laced with emotion he didn’t seem ready to show. “It’s my brother.”

Your heart started racing, all things that could possibly be wrong were suddenly wrong in your mind. What had happened?

“Oh no, Josh,” your hand squeezed his arm, you moved closer, hoping your proximity may help him. “Sam? What-what happened?”

Josh shook his head, the strings that tied his beaded headband together in the back shaking slightly. “No. Not Sam,” he scratched at his eyebrow with a finger, his eyes still looking concerned underneath them. “Jake.”

You internally slapped yourself for not thinking of Jake before. To be fair, he never called Josh. He lived in Illinois, living a completely separate life from his twin. But, how could you have forgotten about Josh’s literal twin? Josh brought him up in conversation from time to time, but he was just so far away. You never thought of him.

Now you understood why he was so downtrodden. You knew twin telepathy was real. If you hadn’t known before you’d become friends with Josh, you surely did now. Josh had explained his beliefs about it many times before. You had absolutely no doubts he was feeling every emotion Jake was feeling in this moment. An empathetic twin? You couldn’t begin to imagine the weight.

You suddenly had to know what was going on – even more than you’d needed to before. You shook your head, letting your hand fall from Josh’s arm and giving him some space to feel what he was feeling. “He never calls you,” you stated the first thing that you’d thought. “What did he need–,” you checked your slightly accusatory tone. Not the time, Y/N. “I mean, what happened to him?”

You were honestly kind of scared for his response.

“His, um, his girlfriend–,” Josh’s eyebrows drew together in anger. “No–his ex-girlfriend. She–,” he held a clenched fist to his mouth, and you saw tears gather in his eyes. “She cheated on him.”

You stepped back once, slightly shocked. Josh was this distressed over a breakup?

You tried to keep your tone understanding. “Oh no,” you tried, really.

“Yeah,” he rubbed his forehead, just below the headband. He sniffed the tears away. His eyes lightened a bit. Just a bit. It seemed to have lifted off of his shoulders a bit. Maybe it was because he’d finally stated it out loud, and the emotions were finally able to come out of his body. He wasn’t holding onto the entirety of it anymore. He looked down again. “I can’t, no– actually, I can,” he nodded to himself, a heinous smirk on his face. “I can believe she’d–,” he scoffed haughtily.

You were doing your best to follow along. But if he continued with broken-up sentences, you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep up. “Yeah?”

He finally snapped out of his daze even more and locked his eyes with yours. He seemed to remember where he was, his eyes tracing the establishment quickly, to make sure customers were alright and no one was nearby. Then, he looked back at you.

“I know it seems a little ridiculous,” he stated. “To be so upset over a break-up. But, this girl. Jake, he–,” Josh swallowed an obvious knot that had blossomed in his throat at saying his twin’s name. “Jake followed her to that stupid ass college of hers when we graduated and– he was so selfless. So selfless, Y/N. I can’t believe she’d be so selfish. She basically spit in my brother’s face.”

Your eyebrows knit together. You didn’t know much about Jake, so hearing all of this was incredibly interesting to you, to say the least. You were sipping on some piping hot tea while also learning of a mystery person who shared the same DNA as your best friend.

He continued. “Actually, I think it’s worse than spitting in one’s face,” he scoffed, his tongue curling in his mouth, his dimple showing for an emotion completely opposite of joy. “She kicked him so hard. . .he is bleeding. And I can’t–,” more tears gathered in his eyes. Oh no. Josh tears were surely going to make your tears spring soon, and you didn’t like showing those.

“You can’t what, Josh?” you urged, trying to push the conversation forward, past the pauses that could cause the waterworks.

He looked you in the eyes, his eyes so sad. “He is leaving there asap, and I can’t take him in,” a tear left his right eye. “And I refuse to let him go back to our hometown. He is better than that. I want him–no, I need him here with me.”

Josh’s tone was more serious than you’d ever heard it. You didn’t want to peep a word, you wanted him to continue what he was saying. But, you had to ask. Though, you knew the answer. You were denying what you already knew you had to do.

“Why can’t you take him in?” you pondered.

“Landlord was already iffy about me moving Sammy and Danny in when they came to town,” he placed both hands over his face, smoothing them down to his cheeks. “My apartment was a strictly two-person apartment and somehow my landlord let me squeeze a third one in there. He wouldn’t ever let me have more than that. I could ask, I guess, but getting shot down right now would seriously kill me,” a tear fell from his eye. “But Jake can’t afford his own place right now. He’s been working the worst jobs down there. Terrible income.”

Your heart beat erratically in your chest. You knew what you had to do. You knew it the moment you asked him why he couldn’t take in another person. You’d been to Josh’s apartment. The three boys really were kind of squeezed into that apartment, but they made it work better than most people could. How they did it, you didn’t know. But, you did know what you had to offer.

“He can stay with me.”

“What?” his eyes widened to the point of you wondering if they’d bulge out of his head. He looked like that one emoji who was on the verge of tears, due to gratefulness. “Y/N, you couldn’t possibly be serious.”

Before you said anything else, you quickly contemplated it once more. You didn’t know the guy. You literally forgot that he existed for a moment today. And you were about to take him in. What in the hell did you just offer? You internally berated yourself for questioning your decision when you looked at Josh again, though. His eyes were so wide, so gracious, so kind. You had wanted to be the friend that Josh deserved for a long time. You knew your decision.

“Yes, Josh,” you gave him a small, hesitant smile. “He can stay with me for a while.”

Josh looked more than appreciative, but he had a question in his eye. You immediately knew it as foreboding guilt. “Y/N, I did not mean to make you think that you had to–.”

“I know,” you smiled a wider, more genuine smile now. “That’s why I offered,” you reached out to grab his arm again. “You would do it for me.”

He would. You could feel your eyes well with emotion and his did the same. Before you knew it, he was grasping you so tightly, like you were his lifeline. He said thank you’s and you have no idea what this means to me’s more times than you could count.

You hugged him tighter to you. You really would do anything for him.

Even if it meant taking in a stranger.

But– Jake wasn’t really a stranger. Well, he was. He was a person you had never even looked at in your life, so he was a stranger. You wouldn’t know him if you saw him across the street.

(You hadn’t frequently been to Josh’s apartment and the photos you had seen on his phone were terribly shaky at best.)

The more you thought, maybe you would recognize him from a distance. He was Josh’s twin, after all. But for the life of you, you couldn’t remember ever seeing a picture of him. Maybe he looked just like Josh.

Maybe he would be just like Josh. He’d called him selfless, after all. And Josh was the most selfless person you knew, besides your grandparents.

You had to convince yourself that you hadn’t just made one of (if not the) most impulsive decisions in your life.

Instead, you just hugged Josh even tighter to you, remembering that his happiness and calmness was what mattered right now, most of all.

🌼 🌼 🌼

It had been a week since you’d made the most drastic (and mindless) decision of your life.

Josh had decided it would take about a week for Jake to get his stuff together and get here.

So, the day was here for him to move in.

You had wanted to quiz Josh as much as you possibly could during the week that was leading up to this chaotic decision, but you hadn’t had the chance. Josh had only been at the record store the day after you had offered your apartment up. Then, he had left in his little beat-up car. Followed along by Sammy and Danny in a small U-Haul to pick up his (their) other brother.

You weren’t sure how Josh’s little humpty dumpty car was going to make the nearly-fifteen-hour trip. You were sure, however, that that thing was set to burst into flames at any given moment. The brown rust that had overtaken the majority of the metal on the car, the paint that was chipped so badly you could hardly tell what the original color of the car had been. And then there were the terrible fumes that came from the exhaust. . . Blech. Even just thinking about it, you had to physically shake your head to rid yourself of the smell as you thought of it.

It was that one car that, if you had your windows rolled down at a stoplight next to it, you rolled your windows back up as quickly as you possibly could.

You politely refused to ride in that thing, seeing as you didn’t want to ride passenger in a ticking time bomb. But, you loved how much Josh loved the car.

It had come all the way from Frankenmuth, Michigan with him when he moved to the city years ago, and he seemed bound and determined to drive it until the old, rusty wheels fell off.

You brought yourself out of your thoughts and went to get the vacuum out of the coat closet. You rolled it out by its squeaky wheels and tended to the hallway and bedrooms first. You gave them all at least three sweeps, giving the guest room an extra. Living room was next.

You were so nervous to show a complete stranger your apartment. You wanted to make a good impression, and you needed Jake to know that you were a person who liked things kept clean. You’d known ever since you offered your place up last week, that you would wind up deep-cleaning the entire apartment at some point during the week.

And, due to the busyness that could only be described as summertime at the Black and Gold, you were just now getting to it. It seemed that everyone on this side of New York was always suddenly inspired to grow their record collections during the summer time. You thought it was maybe due to the sunshine and the generally carefree nature of summer that brought a sense of melancholy and nostalgia to everyone, including yourself. Summer could simply be viewed as an opportunity to live life rather than go about your days in constant routine and mindless motions.

You had been scheduled to work the morning of this cloud-ridden Friday, but you had personally requested to only work the morning so you could prepare your apartment for your burgeoning guest the second part of the day.

You looked around your cozy apartment, a hand on your hip to ground your exhausted body. You were proud of your work. You then looked at the gold clock that hung next to the front door. It was just now 5:14 p.m. on the dot, and your apartment was basically sparkling. The only thing you really had left to do was vacuum the living room.

So, you ran your vacuum over the carpet of your living room. And, after giving it at least four complete sweeps, you gave it one last once over. You decided it was as good as it was going to get. As you put away the vacuum, you wondered how close Josh and the guys were.

He had called you earlier that day to inform you that they had been more than halfway back. That was around 10 a.m. At that point, he’d thought they would be arriving around 6:30 or 7 that evening. You checked the clock on the wall again, and realized the minute hand hadn’t moved at all for the past fifteen-ish minutes. You crinkled your brows. Then, your stomach fell to your feet.

You raced over to your phone on the counter, almost tripping over Stevie. You apologized to her, as if your walking had caused a real inconvenience to her. She had barely budged in your rushed stumble.

When you’d picked her up, the humane society had sworn she had some of the Ragdoll breed in her. With her bright blue eyes and fluffy combined white and light gray fur. So, being you, you’d researched the breed. She held true to many positive traits of the breed. Though, one you’d learned that she inhabited, was how she did the ‘cat flop’ so frequently. A very Ragdoll-esque thing to do. And, it was more cute than anything, honestly.

You got to your iPhone and pressed your finger to the screen of your phone, lighting it up.

5 missed calls from Josh. 3 text messages from Josh.

And it was 6:05 p.m.

“Well, shit,” you mumbled frustratedly to yourself. You rubbed your forehead, a light sheen of sweat coming off on your hand. You opened your phone to read his texts.

Josh, 5:02 p.m.: We are about 1 hr and some change away

Josh, 5:30 p.m.: Stuck in traffic :/

Josh, 5:55 p.m.: You ok???

And then you noticed the missed calls had come in a string. You had actually just missed the last one, it having come in at six o’clock on the dot.

You suddenly took notice of the fact that you could feel the sticky sweat in your armpits and decided you had to take a shower. You gave him a quick response.

You, 6:06 p.m.: Where are you now? I’ve gotta hop in the shower. Lost track of time. Ugh

He responded instantaneously.

Josh, 6:06 p.m.: Lol it’s ok. We are still about 30 minutes away

Josh, 6:06 p.m.: IM GLAD YOURE OK!!!!!

You smiled to yourself, and quickly sent a smiley emoji back in response. You were about to take the fastest shower of your life. Taking your phone with you to keep better track of time, you hurriedly went to the closet that held the washer and dryer at the end of the hallway. You set the dryer to run an air dry cycle on the guest room sheets. You simultaneously stripped your clothes and threw them in the hamper that sat in the laundry room.

Then, you headed to the bathroom to (very) quickly scrub down.

🌼 🌼 🌼

As you got out of the shower, you crossed to the white, laminate countertop that held the sink, and tapped the screen of your phone to view the time.

It was only 6:15 p.m. You had managed to take a shower and shave your legs in a span of less than ten minutes.

Hell yeah.

You didn’t even wrap the towel around your body as you normally would have. You didn’t want to dirty a new one, and you decided you’d take a quick moment to commemorate the time you’d had living alone. You let yourself air dry as you ran as fast as possible, stark naked, to your bedroom. You were hoping the faster the speed, the quicker your body would dry.

Once you made the not-so-long trek to your bedroom, you opened the drawers you’d need to use from the beautiful, vintage, white chest of drawers your sister had left behind for you to keep. You two had gone thrifting one day your freshman year, and she’d found it first, so she’d gotten dibs. It had only been fair for you to inherit the piece of furniture, considering her new profession would have her in no one place for too long.

You quickly got a pair of underwear and a sports bra out, sliding them on slightly slowly due to the adhesive your body had created from the still-drying water.

You chose a pair of black jean shorts for your bottoms, opting against any long pants as you knew the material would only stick to your legs uncomfortably. Then, you chose the dark, mossy green tank top you saw lying atop all of the others in your drawer of tanks and tees.

You gave yourself a quick look in the mirror that was attached to the chest. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed by the cute outfit that was made in record time. It was simple, but it was cute.

You grabbed the gold necklace that held your first initial from the dresser in front of you, clasping it around your neck.

Good job thinking on the spot, Y/N. And, being the (admittedly) weird person you were, you gave yourself a quick little pat on the back for all the work you’d done so far today, including the outfit decision. A few water droplets landed on your hand from your hair that was steadily leaking onto your tank-top, already creating an ugly wet spot on the back of the shirt.

You poked the screen of your iPhone, seeing the newest text from Josh as you slid the screen to unlock it.

Josh, 6:17 p.m.: We just dropped Daniel and Samuel off at our place.

Josh, 6:17 p.m.: They had plans with a couple of girls tonight.

Josh, 6:18 p.m.: Soooooo it will just be Jacob and myself

Josh, 6:18 p.m.: We are like 5 min away btw

You didn’t always understand Josh sending multiple texts in a row rather than just combining them all into one. It was a silly thing he did that you found slightly chaotic, but that made it very Josh. He would send the thoughts as they came to him. Just as he said whatever thought may pop into his mind if you were to be talking to him in person.

You spared no time as you brushed through your sopping wet hair with the ever-present brush that sat atop the chest of drawers. Water flung from the ends, onto your back, and onto the rest of your bedroom as you quickly brushed. You grabbed the claw clip nearest to you and made a quick twist of your hair. Then, at the back of your head, you secured it with the claw clip. Good enough.

You pinched your cheeks, adding some life to them. You had, so far, opted for a foundation-free summer. You were trying to give your skin a break. Though, you did slap a couple layers of mascara on. You did have the decency to want to look presentable for your about-to-be roommate.

Your phone screen read that it was 6:22. They would be here any–.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Josh’s signature series of knocks. You could swear he added a little flair every time he knocked on your apartment’s door. If it made any sense, the knocks seemed to get a little more zesty every time he visited your home.

You walked quickly to the front door, scanning the apartment again as you walked through it. You were very proud of how it looked. You grabbed the candle striker that sat behind a picture on an end table and lit the maple pancakes scented candle that sat on the same table. You wanted to add to the cozy feeling you wanted for your apartment.

You wanted Jake to feel welcomed.

As you went to open the door, you heard the same knocks start up again. You rolled your eyes at your friend’s blatant impatience.

As you opened the door, a piece of hair fell from your up-do, onto your face. It made you momentarily close your eyes as it tickled your eyelashes. You puffed it out and away from your face with a breath. You tucked it behind your ear, and your eyes opened to see Josh’s smile.

It seemed to be a smile that said, ‘I’m sorry in advance.’

You gave him a smile of encouragement. Surely Josh was just on edge, probably from feeling so much stress and emotion for the past week.

Then, you saw movement behind Josh, your breath caught in your throat.

Oh.

You weren’t expecting Josh’s identical twin to look so different from him right off the bat. Did they look similar? Yes. You could definitely tell that they were twins, but Jake was just different from Josh.

His tanned skin was like Josh. But, you initially noticed their differences more than similarities.

His hair was longer than Josh’s. It was wavy rather than exhibiting the springy curls as Josh’s did. Where Josh’s hair indicated buoyancy, Jake’s hair showed an alluring appeal. You suddenly wanted to run your fingers through it.

Okay, stop it, Y/N.

But, then, the amber-brown eyes that looked past his brother and into the apartment caught your attention before you were able to stop it. They stopped you. They were like Josh’s, but you hadn’t ever cared to notice the perfect mixture of color in Josh’s eyes before. But when it came to Jake’s? Apparently his eyes held a special kind of drug that you couldn’t help but be lured in by. They held a strange sense of something you’d never known you’d needed.

You just couldn’t quite place your finger on what void it was these eyes filled.

It was Josh’s voice that snapped you out of your daze. “Y/N?”

When you came to, you realized he was waving a hand in front of your face.

Well.

That was embarrassing as hell. Your first interaction with your brand new roommate had you in a trance that you literally had to be brought out of with a calling of your name and a gesture. You would have slapped your forehead if you wanted to humiliate yourself any more, but you really didn’t want to add more fuel to the flame in your now-rosy cheeks. You could feel them burning hot.

You caught Josh’s eyes first as you snapped out of your trance. Afraid to lose yourself in his twin’s eyes again, you held Josh’s as you introduced yourself to this new person. Josh’s eyes were safe. Admittedly, it was weird for you to stare at Josh as you introduced yourself to his brother, but.

“I’m–.”

“This is Y/N, Jake,” Josh introduced you. You shared a small smile with your best friend, silently thanking him for saving you from any more awkwardness. The dimple in his cheek showed as he gave you his close-mouthed smile. “Y/N, this is Jake.”

You forced yourself to look at him, out of politeness.

Although, when you looked at him this time, you realized he wasn’t holding any sort of smile on his face. His eyes weren’t showing warmth, as Josh’s almost always did. He was looking at you with a stone-cold face. No emotion seemed to show.

“Hi,” his jaw was clenched in his greeting.

“Hey! Welcome to New Yor–.”

“Can we unload the U-Haul now?” He was looking at Josh when he said it, as if he hadn’t even been trying to listen to you.

Suddenly you weren’t anywhere near a trance-like state anymore. Instead, you wanted to roll your eyes at his childish greeting and his inability to show you respect. It was almost like he was a child being forced to apologize for something, when in all actuality, he was being allowed the opportunity to stay with you. Could he act like an adult? You were being one by allowing him this opportunity. It felt as though you were pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone for him.

Well, to be fair, it was mostly for Josh’s sake.

You decided to ignore it. Perhaps he was just awkward when meeting new people. God knows you had already been awkward in your own way.

“Uh– um, yeah,” you clumsily responded. “Let’s go ahead and get started.”

🌼 🌼 🌼

The three of you had almost finished unloading the U-Haul. He hadn’t brought much, really. It had not taken long at all to get this moving truck nearly empty. There were only a few boxes and a couple of guitar cases left, near the front of the truck.

Josh and Jake had unloaded heavier things, allowing you the opportunity to take in some of the smaller things.

One of the things you’d enjoyed carrying in the most had been the majority of his record collection. You had thoroughly appreciated the mass amount of boxes that included vinyl. You had nosily picked through them as you had dropped off each box to his room.

You had instantly been a fan of the Cream and Eric Clapton you’d come across. You loved good ‘ol Rock ‘n’ Roll.

He didn’t seem to share quite the same amount of love for soul as Josh did, though you still noticed enough of the blues to make you smile. Even if he was awkward with new people, his music taste was something of worth. You even saw a few duplicates of records you already owned. Although, there were enough albums that you didn’t own that you also admired his taste in that capacity. You did have quite the expansive collection.

As you passed through the living room, ready to continue to help, you passed the guys. Each of them were carrying a couple of boxes, chattering away about something. You wanted to know what they were talking about, you wanted to include yourself in an easy conversation with your new roommate. But you knew you shouldn’t interrupt, so you went about your business helping.

When you made it back to the U-Haul, you saw the twins had pushed what was left to the front of the truck. You only noticed two beat-up guitar cases were left. You went ahead and decided you’d be the hero of the day by carrying in the last of the things he’d brought. Maybe it would show him how helpful you were. How you liked to help people.

All things considered, offering up a room in your apartment to a perfect stranger should show that, but you were an overachiever, okay?

And maybe this one thing would be the key to him opening up to you.

As you reached both hands out for the cases, another hand slapped one of your hands away.

What the hell?

You turned to see Jake. His eyebrows were scrunched, his eyes annoyed.

Again, what even?

“I can get these, okay?” he sighed, seemingly put-out.

You didn’t pass up that opportunity to roll your eyes at him. You hadn’t meant to, truly. But you just couldn’t help the natural response to his ungrateful attitude that marred the two interactions you had had with him so far.

“Well–,” you stopped yourself from saying anything. You forced yourself to put things in perspective. “Okay.”

You stepped back, watching as he grasped the handles of each worn, leather case. You followed him up the stairs as he carried them. You were not going to offer to help. You just decided to keep to yourself as you thought it all through.

The longing for normal decency was grating on you. It pissed you off when people couldn’t be generally kind. You knew the irony considering how you had just rolled your eyes at him. Though, you were different from him. You had tried to be nice and fair and decent. You were giving him a place to live, for God’s sake.

The little spark of empathy that lit up in you saw its way through to your heart and you remembered. You remembered how distraught Josh had been at this upheaval in Jake’s life. Surely that meant something. Jake really was going through a lot.

This–this was all so new for him. It was a whole lot of new. New city. Completely new life. He was saying hello to so much, but saying goodbye to even more.

As soon as you made it back into the apartment, you found your way to Josh.

Thankfully, you hadn’t had to walk behind Jake for long. His fast walking up the stairs was helpful. He had seemed absolutely desperate to get away from you.

Josh was leaning against the back of the couch, writing something in his notebook that stayed almost permanently in his back pocket. It was for his musings, the little thoughts he got that inspired more. You never really questioned it, just admired his love to write.

You situated yourself next to him. As you did so, he closed the notebook, putting it back in his pocket. He put the pen he’d been using back in the cup on your kitchen countertop. You had deemed it Josh’s pen awhile back. It was his favorite. He claimed it wrote smoother than the others.

“Josh,” you knew your tone communicated some of your worry.

He wrapped an arm around you, and you leaned into it. You loved how he just always seemed to know.

“He’s going through a lot, Y/N,” he said quietly, then kissed the side of your head. He said the next words even more quietly than the previous ones. “And I should have warned you. . .he acts like an ass when his emotions are all over the place. He doesn’t know how to handle them like I do.”

You chuckled. And you didn’t even have to see him to see his smug, joking smirk. Josh snickered along with you, laughing at his own words. You laid your head on his shoulder, so glad he was there to alleviate the growing tension in your shoulders.

And all too soon, the grim reaper was coming out of his bedroom. He pushed a hand through the wavy hair that touched just below his shoulders. You wished you didn’t notice how it fell so perfectly as he pushed it back.

Jake seemed restless as he cleared his throat. “Do you have shee–?”

“Sheets!” You left Josh’s grasp to go get the sheets out of the dryer.

They were still warm from being in the closed dryer when you piled them up in your arms. You cursed yourself for forgetting to get them out of the dryer. Ugh. You didn’t need him judging you for your lack of thinking to do so.

You passed by the boys, who were once again in deep conversation, as you speed-walked to the guest – no, Jake’s– bedroom. You plopped the sheets on the bed, a ruffled mess of linens. You made quick work of adjusting the fitted sheet to your liking, the loose sheet falling swiftly on top. You tucked all of the corners just right. Then, you got into the bedroom’s little closet and grabbed the white quilt that had stayed up there since you’d last used and washed it. It had been waiting to be used again for a whole year.

Once you’d situated the bed with its pillows and all of its pieces, you took a moment to consider something. What you’d signed yourself up for. How different this was going to be from living with Elsie. Things were going to be so different.

For one, he was a guy. You had never been roommates with a man before. Even more, you hadn’t ever been roommates with anyone but Elsie. And she was your sister. And with her being your sister (and first best friend), there had been nothing but ease and comfort. And, so far, all you had with Jake was tight perplexity and irritation. And just plain tension.

You closed your eyes to the suddenly overwhelming brightness of the room. You rolled your shoulders around, your neck moving along with the action. You wanted to alleviate some of the tightness that was already taking up residence in your upper back and neck.

You felt Stevie rub herself up against your bare leg. Her soft fur and loud purring calmed you in its own special way. You smiled to yourself. The sweet little feline had used her week of knowing you to make one big place for herself in your heart. She seemed to automatically know you on first meeting and had already shown you so much love. She had shown a few times that week that she was a cuddly girl who simply lived for being in your presence.

Although, you felt her leave your legs sooner than you’d anticipated. You opened your eyes in curiosity, watching her cross the room from your legs to Jake’s belongings. She rubbed herself against the boxes and then against the guitar cases – no, no, no.

“Stevie,” you hushed at her. “Let’s not mess with his things.”

You scooped her up quickly, her body going slack in your arms, her purring reverberating through your chest. You assumed it wasn’t the best option for the cat to rub against the blessed cases. What was on the inside of those cases had to be special. The cases themselves really did look like they’d seen better days. Silver duct tape was the only thing that held certain parts of them together.

You left his bedroom, finding the twins, still conversing.

You didn’t want to stop their talking, but. You didn’t want to feel like an outlier in your own home. You were already afraid enough of what was to come with Jake being a constant presence. You just wanted to feel like you were in some type of control.

“The bed is made,” you interrupted them. Both of their heads turned to you. Josh’s more so. Your best friend looked at you with kind eyes and Jake’s face barely changed. His head was barely turned to you, really. It was almost as if he had tuned you out.

“Thanks,” he said more to Josh than to you. He then fully placed his attention back on his twin, seeming to try to shut you out again.

Josh continued to look at you, so it was a weird lull. The air around you three was pulled taut with tension. You didn’t know what to say. You and Josh held eye contact while Jake burnt a hole into the shaved side of his brother’s head with his eyes.

What. the. actual. fuck?!

It was obvious Jake didn’t want you included in anything. All you could conclude was that he was simply being an idiot. It was going to be a very rude awakening when he suddenly remembered you two were going to be roommates. He’d have to live with you. You were going to be there, whether he liked it or not. . .until he eventually was secure enough to (hopefully sooner rather than later) move out.

You could not wrap your mind around how elementary he was acting, considering how you were uplifting your entire life, unnecessarily, on his behalf. Again, more for Josh’s sake than his. . . But still.

Not the point.

This was your home and he was not respecting you enough within the walls of it. Your eyes pleaded with Josh to do something.

Jake pulled his phone out of his back pocket, suddenly interested in the smart device. He leaned against the back of the couch, leisurely playing a game on his phone. He was now ignoring you and Josh both.

Finally, Josh spoke, “Let’s order some Hibachi to-go, shall we?”

Jake responded before you could with a dense “sure.”

“That sounds wonderful,” you put on a bigger, genuine smile of thanks to Josh for thinking of food.

You really were hungry. Perhaps Jake was hungry too. That could have been part of the reason he had been acting like a complete crab. Your stomach suddenly felt emptier than it had before and you were anxious for Josh to order.

“You know what I want,” you pointed an airgun his way, shooting it dorkily. He laughed along with you. You were glad that even though his twin was an ass, Josh was still the same as he always was.

“Same,” Jake again, dull as ever. Could he not speak more than five words in a row? Were compound sentences simply too much for his brain?

Josh nodded, sending a smile your way. His eyes read an apology. It really wasn’t his place to apologize. Still, you were positive it was as close as you’d ever get to Jake apologizing. So, you accepted it, winking in response.

He held up his phone. “I’ve just gotta go call it in,” he crossed to the small fire escape right outside of the French doors in your living room.

You watched with desperate eyes as he left you with his wretched brother.

You knew better than to try conversation, but still – you did.

“So,” you began, walking slightly closer to Jake, who was still leaning against the back of your sofa, playing the game that had him so suddenly entranced. “How is New York so far?”

He didn’t respond, only continuing to play his game. You waited for him to look up at you with a sort of “oh, yeah, sorry! It’s been alright”, but he never did. His fingers ticked across his screen. You were admittedly curious what game it was that had him so engaged.

Maybe he hadn’t heard you.

The benefit of the doubt was certainly trying hard to save your sanity.

“How’s New York?”

You had to strain to hear his response, it was only a simple, aggravated “mhm” hummed in response. It was an obvious tactic that you remembered using as a teenager. It was that response that every teenager frustratedly used to get their parents (or, in your case, grandparents) off their back.

But how in the hell were you being a bother to him? You stepped closer to him once more, but this time when you did, he glanced up at you and then swerved around the couch, eyes staying on the phone as much as they could. Then, before you could step any closer to him, you turned around the couch, following him.

You were tired of his attitude. You weren’t going to put up with his shit any more today. You understood this was hard for him – all of the change, his broken heart, yada yada yada. But you had made up your mind that you deserved more of a response from this man. You were getting ready to rip him a new one when –

“It’ll be here in 30 minutes!” Josh’s joyful tone died a bit at the end of the statement.

As soon as he was fully back in the living room, you could tell that he was absolutely sensing the energy reverberating in the room. He was still slipping his phone into the back pocket of his brown corduroy pants as his eyes sprung back and forth between his brother and you.

Josh’s jaw clenched. He was nervous, that much was obvious. You knew the man very well.

So, he did his ‘make it better’ empath thing and clapped his hands together, which brought both sets of eyes to him.

“Whaddya say the three of us watch a movie?”

🌼 🌼 🌼

The food was delivered and completely scarfed down by the three of you.

You had all been very hungry.

But, the best part of eating? It was the fact that the not-talking thing was more natural than it had been before. There were no conversations to cut off or be left out of. . .because, your faces were being stuffed.

Before the food had gotten there, you had gladly taken up Josh’s offer to start a movie. He had chosen The Shining (one of his go-tos). This had also aided in making the social atmosphere (or lack there-of) less awkward.

Things had actually felt peaceful enough for you to lull off right after little Danny saw the two creepy twin girls in the hallway of the haunted hotel.

🌼 🌼 🌼

You felt yourself slowly come to, but as you did, you heard the twins talking in quiet conversation. Their voices were hushed, seemingly to avoid waking you.

And, as wrong as it may have been, you absolutely took that moment as your opportunity to eavesdrop like you’d wanted to earlier.

You kept your eyes closed, working to keep your breathing steady as if you were still in a slumber. You were a sort of pro at the ‘faking being asleep’ thing. For reference, you had been a bookworm for as long as you could remember. So, as a child, you had mastered the skill of feigning sleep when your grandparents would come to check on you at night. Every time, you had actually been reading—never one to put a book down. (To your knowledge, your grandparents had never seemed privy to you being up late reading when you were supposed to be asleep.)

Your head was on Josh’s shoulder, so you had to work especially hard to control your breathing. You knew that if you had even one breath slightly off, he would notice. He was so much like you in being oversensitive to his surroundings.

You let your ears fade into the conversation.

It was Josh’s voice you heard first.

“You need to give this a chance, Jake,” he sighed, and you could feel his body move slightly. It felt like the arm on the other side of his body was moving, probably to scrub a hand over his face. “She was so kind to offer her apartment to you.”

Thank you for pointing that out, Joshua, you thought. I love you.

“I’m not oblivious to that, Josh. Jesus,” Jake sighed, similarly to his twin. But his involved a bit of a grunt, as if he were pouting. “We are just too different.”

“How do you know the two of you are so different?”

It took a minute for Jake to come up with his answer.

“Well, for one: she has fucking twinkle lights,” you could hear a couple of bracelets clang against each other, as if a hand of his was waving above you all. It was true, you had twinkle lights hanging in the living room. You enjoyed the cozy feel they brought with them.

“I have twinkle lights,” Josh’s response sounded slightly offended. Because, yes, he had twinkle lights adorning his apartment as well. To be fair, he, Sam, and Danny had them hanging around their apartment.

“Not the same, Josh.”

The fuck? How is that not the same? This man was insane.

“You two are more alike than you think, Jake. Seriously.”

Alike, Josh?! You’re going to say I’m like him?! Your thoughts were going haywire.

You couldn’t believe he would compare you to his asinine brother.

“I’m uncomfortable here,” Jake sounded slightly hesitant, kind of sad. “I’m already uncomfortable.”

Uncomfortable? That word hit you deep in the chest.

What had you possibly done to make him uncomfortable? You always tried so hard to do the opposite, in every situation life handed you.

Your heart sank. You were a natural helper. You prided yourself on it. You had been complimented on it many times, by several people in your life. You were honestly known for how great you were at helping those around you. This whole ‘allowing Jake to move in with you’ was on brand for you, if you were being honest.

You tried so hard to help people feel secure and ‘okay’ that his discomfort made your stomach churn. The last thing you needed was a roommate who didn’t find you helpful or warm. You were surely already in the midst of an identity crisis.

And, you hadn’t even spent one whole night with this man in your home.

Nothing you could do would make him like you, you were sure of it.

At this point, you had tuned them both out. You didn’t feel like getting hurt anymore by Jake and his short, spiteful sentences.

You listened to the metal pull switch ding lightly against the ceiling fan’s light fixture. The fan was old and rickety and you needed a new one.

These mindless thoughts saved you from the windy road your mind was creating, thanks to the one and only Jake Kiszka.

And his simple sentences.

🌼 🌼 🌼

The arm you were lying against moved just right and it nudged you awake.

“Oh,” Josh immediately noticed you were awake. He sounded apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to– I wanted you to get some sleep.”

You blinked your eyes open slowly, only looking up to Josh from where you were still leaning. You didn’t want to chance locking eyes with his evil twin.

But you decided to be the mature one and sit up, even if it meant seeing Jake.

Unfortunately, you were going to have to get used to seeing him. You honestly dreaded it. Greatly.

As you sat up, you looked around the room. Jake was nowhere to be found.

Thank God.

“He went to bed,” Josh commented. “He needed sleep.”

You shook your head.

He needs more than sleep, you haughtily thought.

“I think I want to go to bed, too.”

Josh helped you shut off the lights in the apartment. You blew out the candle you’d lit earlier. You watched as the black smoke rose from the candle.

It was one of the candle scents that you and your sister had always lit to make the apartment feel like a home to all.

Your stomach flipped in circles. You wanted to be sick. All you had worked to do was make your apartment welcoming, friendly, cozy, safe. And apparently all you’d achieved so far was making your new housemate feel uncomfortable.

You couldn’t watch the smoke anymore, feeling tears well in your eyes. You swallowed down any other tears that you felt approaching in your throat. It was stupid to cry over an asshole like Jake.

His words didn’t matter.

You scooped up Stevie, who had been sweeping her soft little body against your shins. She knew you needed her.

You felt the tears well again.

You faced away from Josh, not wanting him to see your watery eyes. You walked to your bedroom, not even looking in the direction of the apartment’s other bedroom.

You knew he was following you to your bedroom because you knew Josh. He would do his best to see to it that you were doing better before he left you.

You knew he could sense something was wrong with you. He knew you so well that you knew it had been obvious to him all night. And now, you knew you were being uncharacteristically quiet.

As soon as the door shut behind him, you tucked yourself under the soft duvet on your bed. You lifted the covers up to your chin and laid your head down on your pillow. You knew you probably looked absolutely pathetic.

You didn’t care.

He sat on top of the covers next to where you laid. He smoothed a hand over your head and you felt Stevie situate her warm body next to your feet. You had become convinced that it was her favorite spot to lay at night.

He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, and hummed slightly. He scrunched up the left side of his face, his lips squishing together and an eye crinkling as he did so. He seemed to be pondering a thought.

You knew he wouldn’t speak until you were ready to talk, though. Until you made a move to discuss something. Josh was good about that. He gave you your time to feel things. Even when Elsie moved out, as much as it broke his heart to see her leave, he didn’t say anything about it. He had let you have your time to feel without bringing it up.

He had done it many times when big things had happened in your life.

You needed his advice though.

“This may sound naive, Josh, but I expected him to be more like you,” you paused for a second, and chose to look away from him with your next words. “He acted like an arrogant prick all night as I tried to welcome him into my apartment. The apartment I offered for him to stay in during his time of need – don’t forget.”

You knew you were taking some of your snippiness out on Josh when it was absolutely not his fault. But, you couldn’t very well say these things to Jake.

Well, you could. You just hadn’t had the chance yet.

And for some reason, you had suddenly decided that you wanted Jake to see that you were the bigger person in all of this. It should mean nothing for him to see you in a positive light. He was the last person who deserved it. But, killing with kindness could be good revenge.

Josh knew you and knew that your snappy attitude was due to being so hurt already. He knew you felt your feelings to an incredible degree. He got it because he did, too. You knew all of this.

Josh still had a pensive look on his smooth features. His brows were knitted, lips still squished as he thought through what he wanted to say.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he eventually said.

You waited a few beats for him to say more. And when he decided to look straight ahead instead of at you, you got impatient.

“That’s it?” You sat up on your elbows, eyeing your curly-headed friend.

“I–,” he stopped, contemplating. “I just can’t get into it. All I can say is that you’ve gotta give him time.”

You scoffed at him. “Give him time?” You shook your head, looking around your room. The lights were still on, neither of you thinking to turn them off. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Y/N.”

“Joshua.”

He sighed, rubbing his finger and thumb over his forehead. It was obvious he was rubbing to alleviate the stress you were causing him and you instantly felt bad – for another reason entirely. Jake was not his fault. He might have been his twin, but it had become glaringly obvious that they were quite different. And Jake’s assholery was not Josh’s burden to bear.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” you relented some of your anger. You knew Josh was feeling a lot at that moment and you didn’t want to put one more thing on his already-full emotional tray. He was an empath, after all, and today had surely tested his limits.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not upset with you for feeling the way you’re feeling,” he looked at you again. He put a hand on your comforter-covered thigh, squeezing it slightly. “I just–it’s hard for me when I love you both so much and know the potential of a friendship that could blossom between the two of you if he wasn’t–,” he placed a palm to his forehead. “He’s being rude, yes, but he is going through so much. I know I’ve said it already, but that's all I know to say. I can’t be the one to explain the whole reason why. It’s not my story. It’s his.”

You worded your previous thoughts aloud, “He isn’t your burden to bear and neither am I.”

He grinned slightly, lifting his cheek enough to actually show his dimple. But his eyes were still forlorn. “I appreciate that, love.”

You knew your words hadn’t been the most comforting, but you were emotionally exhausted from the day and you just couldn’t put complete thoughts together anymore. The sleep was finally weighing you down, and you struggled to keep your eyes open in Josh’s direction. There was no talking, just stillness. It was nice. It was much needed for both of you after the night.

Comfortable silence.

He went in and kissed your cheek.

Your relationship with Josh was completely platonic, but you were both people who communicated through touch. And considering how it was Josh’s main love language, it was natural for the two of you to be affectionate with little touches.

“It will all work out,” he said, breaking the silence. “You can trust that he is a good person underneath the hardened exterior.”

You huffed a laugh under your breath, your eyes drooping. Your lids were entirely too heavy. “I trust you, Josh. But, I’ll have to give him time to prove himself,” you felt yourself nod off a bit –just for a second. You blinked your eyes open as wide as you could to look at him, feeling bad that you were losing to sleep. “I’m just not too hopeful he will.”

He hummed, surely in thought. “I’ll let you go to sleep,” he gave your thigh a final squeeze. “Goodnight, lovely friend.”

You were almost completely in slumberland, but could tell when he lifted off the bed. You squinted your eyes, refusing to let sleep evade you. You just wanted to rest. You could see through your half-lidded eyes when he turned off the lights.

You listened as he left through the front door. And you heard him lock the regular lock and deadbolt with his key.

Your last thoughts as you fell asleep were of the last wonderful days alone you’d had in your apartment.

So long, peaceful home.

So long, normality.

_ _ _

notes:

here is the doc that will have pics added to it as the story progresses!

i really hope you enjoyed this first chapter of Covet! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters.

taglist: @joshym @gretavanfleetposts

#jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #gvf #greta van fleet fic #josh kiszka fic #sam kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #jake kiszka smut #jake fic #covet #my fics

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feverinfeveroutfic · 3 months

Text

i use my sex as a weapon and the drinks are for free, i’m as cold as ice on the floor of the desert, i burn with the blood of water to find the sea, i use my wounded sex as a weapon and the drinks are for free

Victorialand __ a region in eastern Antarctica which fronts the western side of the Ross Sea and the Ross Ice Shelf, extending southward from 70°30’S to 78°00’S, and westward from the Ross Sea to the edge of the Antarctic Plateau. It was discovered by Captain James Clark Ross in January 1841 and named after Queen Victoria.

In 1981, lichens found at Victoria Land attracted the attention of NASA because lichens may give clues about where to look for the existence of extraterrestrial life on Mars or elsewhere. Dr. George Denton, a glaciologist at the University of New Hampshire, looked for microorganisms on Mount Lister, one of the highest in Antarctica; it has the same kind of sandstone in which lichens grow.

2. Victorialand is the fourth studio album by Scottish alternative rock band Cocteau Twins, released by 4AD in 1986. Working without bassist Simon Raymonde, vocalist Elizabeth Fraser and guitarist/producer Robin Guthrie opted for a subtler sound on the album. […]

The album title refers to the part of Antarctica known as Victoria Land, after Queen Victoria (and forming the British claim to the continent, currently dormant under international treaty). Some of the track titles were borrowed from passages on the Arctic and Antarctic in David Attenborough's The Living Planet, A Portrait of the Earth, the accompanying book to his 1984 BBC nature documentary series The Living Planet; an example is "Throughout the dark months of April and May, the birds display to one another and finally mate" on page 54.

the fics i’ve penned so far with the actual victorialand collection are anonymous so i’ll leave the links out until further notice 😉

the title refers to tequila sunrise and Tijuana sunset as well as “Tijuana bible” because at this point in time, you need to have brains and balls to do erotic fic.

you must donate exactly one (1) fuck to me for every 500 words i write. two fucks = 1000 words, three fucks = 1500 words, so on so forth. i have a tendency to get wordy with my erotic writing so a 10k beastie is a whopping 20 fucks given. no need to give up your anonymity if you like! there’s no dodgy behavior here so i’ll not only respect your privacy but i promise you, my hand on my grandparents’ ashes, there won’t be any potentially dirty money going around making the fbi give you the side eye as time goes on. money’s tight, anyways, go spend it on flour or tissues.

anything goes with me, but since this is kinktober we’re talking, i should tell you that i’m not comfortable with anything pregnancy/breeding kink related, anything daddy kink-related, or anything having to do with virginity. i am also completely bored with standard penetration. i like it weird, much to everyone’s chagrin.

i’m currently on hiatus/summer vacation on main and i’m working on my other wips right now, but i’ll be off from vacay the day after labor day, september 3rd, 2024. kinktober 2024 fics won’t be dropping until 9pm pacific time on september 30th, so mark your calendars! i have my own prompts and i’m going to leave them as a little surprise for spooky season.

also: september 29th is alex’s birthday. Rosh Hashanah this year is on october 2nd at sunset. the 16th is the start date of Sukkoth. the 11th is Yom Kippur. who knows, i might pour out a little extra shot of whiskey instead of tequila for him. make a really gorgeous, really sexy jewish libra boy a nice manhattan 🍹

fic titles:

”Treacle”

”And You Will Know Me”

”Cactus Jack’s”

”Cardamom Kisses”

”Bluebonnets”

”Wandering, Wandering”

”Hai-Bar”

”Espresso”

”Songkran Drought”

”Tierra Del Fuego”

”Jack of Hearts”

”Areias do Tempo”

”Red”

“Lily Munster Has Got Nothin’ On You”

”Ugly Truth”

”’Til Tel Aviv”

“Sandstone”

”Playa La Ropa”

”Bastards and Boozehounds”

“Pulmonaria”

”Prayer Hands”

”Spiderwebs on the Heart”

“Olives”

”Don the Beachcomber”

”Lady Godiva’s House”

“Devil’s Tea Time”

”Ten Miles High”

”Amorsolo”

“Lilac Treehouse”

”Painted Roses”

”Lunatic Kibbitz”

shabbat shalom, by the way ✡️

#fanfic #fanfiction #kinktober #kinktober list #kinktober prompts #kinktober 2024 #tijuana sunrise #tequila sunrise #testament #testament fanfic #also on ao3 #writing #text #am yisrael chai #jumblr #in response to ~fics for gaza~

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jisungsbff01 · 1 year

Text

Meet Me In Amsterdam | h.hj

...pairing...hyunjin x reader

...w.c...1.9k

...genre...fluff, romance

...warnings...none

...characters...Y/N, Hyunjin, mention of Felix, OC(roommate)

...synopsis...studying abroad has pulled so many people in and out of your life, but there’s one that you want to never leave.

...a/n...Okay, so I think this is going to become a series...might name it The Playlist(?) but idk, we shall see. BUT, this song is very Hyunjin vibes with the hopeless romantic/last love he's spoken about before (me too, bro). But I really hope I can get this one to mirror what's in my brain lol.

As someone with a personality that suited everything from traveling, art, fashion, the simple things in life-you were determined to do all of the above. And boy did you.

You met Hyunjin two and a half years ago while you were studying abroad in Amsterdam. The chance meeting was definitely an awkward one, that's for sure. Your flatmate had a project for one of her classes due the next day and she hadn't even started it. She needed to paint "simple beauty" and chose you as her subject. Your body was stiff and aching from sitting on the bench you were propped on and you were getting a headache from the sun that was finally making a proper appearance. There weren't too many people around, but the ones who passed certainly were staring, and at this point you were uncomfortable. You weren't sure how many times your expensive ass camera nearly slipped off your shoulder.

Threats were occasionally making their way out of your mouth, making it known that if anything happened to the camera you spent years saving up for, your roommate was going to replace it. And she vowed to do so. The sun soon cast golden rays across the scenery in from of you, the river below you glistening almost like a wheat field during the lunch hour.

I think this has been the only enjoyable part of this whole ordeal. You thought to yourself. Your thoughts were interrupted by a man close to your age pointing to the seat next to you, "I'm sorry, is this seat taken?"

He was certainly beautiful, there was no way you were denying that. But, instead of replying you smiled and shook your head. A little too shy around the stranger. He sat and braced his slender arms on the front edge of the bench, "Sorry, but the other benches seemed occupied."

You glanced to the nearest ones and he was not wrong...to a certain extent. The two benches to your right had an elderly couple on one and what seemed to be someone either too drunk to function or someone sleeping on the other. Every bench to the left of you two was overcrowded with birds and frankly, a bunch of bird poop. There was no way you were going to condemn him to any of the options above. The two of you made conversation and you learned he was here on vacation with his best friend, who was still asleep and he was kind enough to try to find the nearest cafe for their breakfast. You had agreed that once your roommate was finished, you would take him to your favorite place. Which, should be soon.

_Present Date_

"Jinnie, if you don't hurry we will be late for the flight." You voiced to your boyfriend. He made all the plans for your birthday weekend and you were only allowed to know two things: what to pack, and the date and time your flight took off.

Everything else was all him.

He all but stumbles out of the bedroom, his ballcap disheveled and he was hopping around trying to put his socks on while he made his way to the living room. You warmly smiled at his flustered state, "You know, for a guy you take longer than me to get ready..."

He settles on the small bench the two of you put by the front door to slip his shoes on and he scrunched his nose and put on a boxy smile, trying to hide his stress of nearly being late.

*cough, cough* (he is always early to events)

"Lovely, you didn't even put makeup on and you woke up earlier than I did, so I have an excuse or two." he chuckles at his 'mastermind' explanation and grabs both suitcases you both had packed and ready by the front door.

In the hallway now surrounding the two of you, you quietly said, "Yes, but I didn't get out of bed until after you did, Baby."

You checked to make sure your apartment door was closed and locked securely before the pair of you made your way to the elevator. Only, you were stopped by bright yellow caution tape and an 'out of order' sign. Sharing a look of sass and slight irritation from the inconvenience, you followed him to the edge of the staircase. You took your suitcase from his hands and you made your way down the steps....eight floors to go...

---------

Luckily enough, Hyunjin told you the wrong time and you arrived fifteen minutes earlier. Boarding the plane was no issue, still not having any idea where you were headed-thanks to Hyunjin putting earbuds in your ears and you swore to him that you were not going to look at the destination. The amount of trust you two put into one another was on another level. You trusted him to take you on a romantic getaway and not murder you. And the trust he put in you to...not look at the signs. Yeah, those levels of trust were right up there next to one another.

You fell asleep not long after take-off and didn't wake until you felt Hyunjin shaking you, letting you know that people were getting ready to get off.

Your eyes followed the slow, but sure, line that was making its way off the plane, you and Hyunjin following once it was your turn. Going through the usual process of finding your luggage- you soon realized where you were. Why the airport looked a tad bit familiar.

Amsterdam.

He took you back to Amsterdam...the city where you two first met. You looked up at his slender figure, slightly tearing up. He knew how much you longed to go back. Your roommate decided it was a city she just couldn't get enough of the area and moved in with a permanent residence. The two of you kept in frequent touch, but with the time difference between Seoul and Amsterdam...it could prove to be difficult.

He didn't stop walking until you grasped his wrist to turn and embrace him. His large hands found their places on the back of your head and your waist, pulling you as close as possible, "Happy Birthday Weekend, Y/N, I hope I can give you what you deserve."

"Jinnie, you've already done enough, any more and it might be a little too much." You laugh lightly, causing a small side smile to appear on his gorgeous face.

--------

He had the idea of stopping by the hotel and washing up before doing any other activities he planned. Obviously, you needed to freshen up and apply just a little bit of makeup. After about an hour, you were back in the streets you spent almost three years in.

He brought you up the an extremely familiar corner cafe and the two of you sat and just talked. You spoke about the many memories you had in the year you two dated long-distance before moving back to Seoul once you graduated. You came to the conclusion that if the two of you could conquer a year with the time difference you two had, you could conquer practically anything as long as you had one another.

'You're my first and last' he once said and you simply echoed that phrase back to him. And you meant it. You never wanted anyone other than him, you lived and breathed him. You were never one to be sappy or much of a romantic, but he unlocked that entire side of you. Yes, you wanted to experience the art, love, romance, and all the little things in the world...but you didn't need it, you didn't crave it the way you do now. You wanted him in the most innocent way possible, and he was more than willing to give you that part of him, and more of course. He was going to be your last and you truly hoped he knew and comprehended that.

Once the two of you left the cafe, you followed the path to the river and right to the bench where you met. Your lips lifted in a nostalgic smile, missing the day you two met- but so proud and happy where you were now. He pulled you down to sit, but his hips never met the bench. Instead, his knee touched the ground as he still held your hand. Soon, he began speaking before you knew what exactly was happening.

Your heart began accelerating in understanding as to what was happening right now and you clasped your hand over your mouth," Y/N, I have never met someone so perfect for me until I met you right here. Although the circumstances at the time were anything but traditional or romantic, I think the last two years have proven to be everything that one day should've been. There is no other person I could ever spend the rest of my life with. No one I could ever ask to be my last unless it was you. You are everything I could ever hope or pray for and I hope you will have me. Y/N will you do me the very special honor of having your hand in marriage?"

Of course, you had to let him finish his speech before replying with a watery, "Yes. You are my last."

He let a small sigh of relief slip before embracing you in a kiss so tender and so sweet it took the breath out of your lungs. Pulling away only once you heard cheering not too far to the right of you and you see your ex-roommate holding a camera and a large gift bag. You gasped and ran to her, pulling her into a hug. "It's been so long! How did you know we were here? I didn't even know!"

She pulled away with a sure smirk and looked just over your shoulder and to your now fiance," He found me on Instagram and set it all up, he's been planning this for a few months now."

You blush slightly at the statement as she lightly shoves the gift bag to you, "As an early engagement gift, the first of many because this ship is gonna forever sail."

You open it slowly and pull out a large canvas to see what she had once worked so hard on. On the canvas was painted the scenery around you and you and Hyunjin sitting close enough to where your shoulders touch. She added him into the painting...the painting she was assigned well over a year ago and she still had it. Tears gloss over your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall as you whisper her name, "I can't accept this. You worked so hard on it, hell I don't even know what grade you got on it. Did you ever turn it in?!"

She stops you before you have a chance to take a breath and continue, "Y/N I knew the moment this dork sat down that you two were going to get married eventually just asked for the piece once she was done with the grading. She actually told me my piece was one of the only ones to follow the instructions properly and the only one to get an 'A'. It's a gift for you two, it would be more insulting for you to give it back."

She hugs you once more and kisses your temple before letting the two of you go with a 'congrats, newly engaged couple.'

Maybe meeting him in Amsterdam was one of the best things to ever happen to you. But one thing's for sure...

He would always be by your side and you would always be by his.

Like, Comment, Reblog

#Spotify #skz hyunjin #hyunjin #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz #stray kids #changbin #seungmin #bang chan #skz felix #hwang hyunjin #romance #fluff #hyunjin fluff

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lichfucker · 6 months

Note

For the WIP folder game: Brain Damage in D Minor, and In Vera? 👀

ooh this is fun because these are both me taking the plot of a movie I like and then applying it to The Blorbos, but in completely opposite directions

brain damage in d minor is a black sails fic based on music and lyrics (2007) which is my favorite rom-com of all time. flint is a washed-up jaded has-been who was in a boy band in the '00s until he got outed and his boyfriend died and now he's 45 and he has no friends and no career and he can't write a new song to save his g-ddamn life. silver is the guy flint hires to water his plants and he just so happens to be an uncannily good lyricist.

it's silly, it's dumb, it's fun. "brain damage in d minor" is a placeholder title and I'm very afraid it will stick. I keep putting off working on this fic because I'm an insane person and I know that I'm going to want to actually write and record all the music.

I've only written two scenes—the opening and the morning after flint and silver hook up for the first time. last time this meme went around I posted like 3/4 of the opening scene lmao so here's a few lines from the other one:

"Here,” Flint says, offering Silver the mug. “I made you some coffee. Whole milk and four sugars, just how you like it.” The mug nearly scalds Silver’s skin when he takes it. Why is Flint kneeling so close? “I actually prefer it with three sugars,” Silver says, “but thank you. That’s—You didn’t have to.” “You order it with three sugars,” Flint says. “Then, when you think no one’s looking, you add a fourth. And I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.” For all the talk of sugar, it’s Flint who’s sickly sweet right now: the sweet crinkle of his eyes, the sweet curl of his lip. Silver hides a nervous swallow beneath a mouthful of coffee—fucking hell, it tastes perfect. Flint shouldn’t know how to make Silver’s perfect cup of coffee. Gun to his head, Silver couldn’t make Flint’s perfect cup of tea; why the fuck does Flint know how to make Silver’s perfect cup of coffee?

in vera is the piece I am most actively working on right now! it's a fic for the fetch phillips archives series and it's based on in bruges (2008). there's a flashback in the first book in the series, wherein fetch has an uncomfortable incident with his mentor, then gets sent on a forced vacation to a city called vera so they can get away from each other for a little while. fetch then goes on a bender in vera, meets a general from an opposing army, and defects. shortly after fetch joins the army a big world-changing event happens and his former mentor dies.

this is a canon divergence au wherein fetch gets recaptured by his original organization after defecting to the army but before the world-changing event happens. he's sent on yet another forced vacation to vera, this time with his mentor, and. well. let's just say it's going very badly and will certainly get worse!

I'm working on chapter four right now but here's a little snippet from chapter one for you:

The streets spread out from the city center like a spiderweb, and Fetch is a helpless insect scuttling across the strands, trapped and unsafe. And Hendricks, for all his comfort and bravado, owning every cobblestone he steps on, may very well be the spider. As they meander toward the inn Hendricks booked, Fetch looks for any familiar landmarks from his first trip here. This is the corner where I puked up three glasses of burnt milkwood and half a turkey leg. This is the street where I nearly got run over by a newsboy on a bicycle. This is the bench where I fell asleep and got shat on by a bird. This is the shop where I spent twenty minutes trying to remember the Elvish word for “toilet” before I found out that it’s pronounced completely differently in the Veran dialect. Or was it over there? No, wait, it was a few blocks south. I don’t know. These buildings all look the fucking same. Most of the memories are obscured beneath a thick haze of stress and booze and grief. Primarily booze. They come back to Fetch in little flashes; they aren’t worth remembering once they do. Every façade of rough white rock broken by silvered doors like shards of mirror set into the stone: he keeps catching his reflection as he passes, and it always comes back warped. Stretched and bowed and grotesque. He doesn’t look Human anymore. Or maybe this hunched and hulking creature is the most Human he’s ever been. It’s not as though he can leave his humanity behind. It’s tattooed onto his fucking arm.

ty iz my beloved 💛💛💛💛💛💛

#quaxorascal #thanks iz #long post #bluh bluh #in vera tag #I do not have a tag for brain damage in d minor and I refuse to make one sdlfkjsdf

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cutest-big-dragon · 1 year

Text

Anhedonia & Apathy playlist:

Title - Artist format

Give me ideas for songs to add/remove!

I just don't care that much - Matt Maeson

Me and my friends are lonely - Matt Maeson

Hallucinogenics - Matt Maeson

Under my skin - Jukebox the ghost

This is love - Air traffic controller

Choke - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Lent - Autoheart

Agoraphobia - Autoheart

Sweet Hibiscus Tea - Penelope Scott

Is this what you wanted - Grandson

Great vacation - Dirt poor robins

Do I wanna know? - Arctic monkeys

Why'd you only call me when you're high? - Arctic monkeys

Achilles come down - GANGOFYOUTHSBAND

Sweater weather - The neighborhood

Pigeon - Cavetown

Home - Cavetown

Devil town - Cavetown

Poison - Stick and poke

21 guns - Green day

Breezeblocks - Alt-J

Stolen dance - Milky chance

Black hole sun - Soundgarden

Blackboard.edu - Arlie

Didya think - Arlie

Big Fat Mouth - Arlie

Tossing and turning - Arlie

Too long - Arlie

Water damage - Arlie

Freaks - Surf Curse

Why do you feel so down? - Declan McKenna

Chasing cars - Snow patrol

Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

Line without a hook - Ricky Montgomery

This December - Ricky Montgomery

Can't the future just wait - Kaden MacKay

Blow my brains out - Tikkle Me

Washing machine heart - Mitski

Nobody - Mitski

Lost kitten - Metric

Birds (feat. Terrence Williams Jr) - Thomas Sanders

Misanthropic drunken loner - Days N' Daze

Oh Ana - Mother mother

Hayloft - Mother mother

It's alright - Mother mother

The stand - Mother mother

Verbatim - Mother mother

Temple grandin - AJJ

Candy jail - AJJ

Sick boi - Ren

Money game - Ren

HMU - Tobias Dray

Still feel. - Half•alive

Arrow - Half•alive

Creature - Half•alive

What's Wrong - Half•alive

The fall - Half•alive

Tip toes - Half•alive

Aawake at night - Half•alive

Young - Vacations

Chasin' Honey - Wild Party

Icarus - Jason Webly

Map - Jason Webly

Dance while the sky crashes down - Jason Webly

Last song - Jason Webly

Love me, normally - Will Wood

Kombucha - Winnetka Bowling Leauge

Curses - The crane wives

Tongues & Teeth - The crane wives

Wolf - First aid Kit

Interpol - Evil

I think I like when it rains - WILLIS

Space song - Beachhouse

I'd rather sleep - Kero Kero Bonito

Flamingo - Kero Kero Bonito

Safe and sound - Capital cities

THE BOTTOM - MICHELLE

As the world caves in - Matt Matlese

Everything's Fine (Nuke Song) - Roe Kapera

Hello my old heart - The oh hellos

Constellations - The oh hellos

Trying my best - Anson Sebra

"Two" - Sleeping at last

Two Birds on a wire - Regina Spektor

Wittgenstein's Arm - Niel Halstead

I see fire - Ed Sheeran

Float on - Modest mouse

No children - The mountain goats

This year - The mountain goats

Up the wolves - The mountain goats

Steal smoked fish - The mountain goats

Going to Georgia - The mountain goats

Damn these vampires - The mountain goats

Woke up new - The mountain goats

Love love love - The mountain goats

Old college try - The mountain goats

Twin size mattress - The front bottoms

THE EDGE - Panicland

Let me down slowly - Alec Benjamin

Water fountain - Alec Benjamin

If I killed someone for you - Alec Benjamin

Gabriel - Alec Benjamin

Paper crown - Alec Benjamin

I'm not a cynic - Alec Benjamin

Must've been the wind - Alec Benjamin

If we have each other - Alec Benjamin

Gotta be a reason - Alec Benjamin

Outrunning Karma - Alec Benjamin

Boy in the bubble - Alec Benjamin

Sleepwalk - Forrest Day

Handlebars - Flobots

Stuff is way - They might be giants

Ship in a bottle - Fin

Far from home (The Raven) - Sam Tinnesz

Trouble's coming - Royal blood

Can't stop - Red hot chili peppers

Californification - Red hot chili peppers

Under the bridge - Red hot chili peppers

Snow (hey oh) - Red hot chili peppers

Otherside - Red hot chili peppers

Scar Tissue - Red hot chili peppers

Wonderwall - Oasis

Might be right - White reaper

Cyr - Smashing pumpkins

The middle - Jimmy eat world

Say it ain't so - Weezer

Dissolve - Absofacto, NITESHIFT

Kids - MGMT

Little dark age - MGMT

Overwhelmed - Royal & the serpent.

Cradles - Sub urban

Out of style - The wrecks

This life I have - The wrecks

Freaking out - The wrecks

Typical story - Hobo Johnson

Peach scone - Hobo Johnson

Subaru Crosstreck XV - Hobo Johnson

Uglykid (ft. Elohim) - Hobo Johnson

I want a dog - Hobo Johnson

Moverawayer - Hobo Johnson

My therapist - Hobo Johnson

All in my head - Hobo Johnson

Trashbag baby - SWMRS

Cash machine - Oliver Tree

Miracle Man - Oliver Tree

Alien boy - Oliver Tree

Upside down - Oliver Tree

Introspective - Oliver Tree

Life goes on - Oliver Tree

All that - Oliver Tree

Enemy - Oliver Tree

Let me down - Oliver Tree

Hurt - Oliver Tree

Slingshot - Goodkid

Die happy - DREAMERS

Dead inside - Younger Hunger

Dying in a hot tub - Palaye royale

Lonley - Palaye royale

Terrible things - Brick + Mortar

War - GRMLN

Pretty little head - Eliza Rickman

Better. - Super Whatevr

Runs in the family - Amanda Palmer

Oh, death - SUGR

Better than me - Brobecks

Are you bored yet? (ft. Clario) - Wallows, Clario

Messy - Twin XL

Elevate - Public Theatre

1000 - Your neighbors

Fools - ufo ufo

Dirty imbecile - The happy fits

Dirty night clowns - Chris Garneau

Bridges & Balloons - The Decemberists

Constantinople - The Decemberists

Downhill - Lincoln

Here we go again - Tea

Ally - We the kings

It rains in nyc - Dalynn

The fox - North bloom

Mississippi Swells - Nana Grizol

Cemetery - COIN

Felt like I had died - Left at London

Angel eyes and basketball - Foot Ox

I've been dead all day - Bayside

Wait a minute - WILLOW

High dive - WHY?

Echo in the corner of the room - The frights

I'm gonna win - Rob Cantor

Holy fuck I'm finally done thank god

Fun music tho <3

#music #playlist #mental health #vent

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starlightswitch · 1 year

Text

To Always Remember

(for Writer's Month day 30 prompt children AU. AU for my WIP Not As An Us where Cammie, Joey, Seth, and Hailey meet as kids. They meet in the same order, though, because apparently my brain wants AUs to be parallel to the original.)

Cammie was pretty sure things didn’t usually work out this way. Usually when you met somebody from a different state while you were both on vacation, you only got to hang out with them for the rest of the vacation, and then you never saw them again. At least, if you weren’t old enough to go visit the person on your own, or have them come visit you, or plan to go on vacation together.

But Cammie was lucky, and her parents had gotten along so well with Joey’s parents they’d decided to plan their vacation for the same time next year. It helped that both families had already been getting cabins at this same campground sometime in the fall for years, but Cammie was pretty sure they hadn’t picked the same week before. She had never met Joey before last year.

Once they’d found each other, they’d hung out every day, and before they had left Joey had had the idea of picking out matching souvenirs. Their parents had let them go to the shop by themselves, and they had found these bracelets, plain twisted cord running through a big fancy bead shaped like a bird. Cammie had picked the one that looked like a standing bird– her dad had told her it was probably supposed to be a hawk– and Joey had picked the one that looked more like a duck. She’d chipped in for Joey’s since he didn’t have a lot of money and she got a good allowance. She’d had the idea for them to put them on each other. Joey did hers first, and as he slipped it onto her wrist he said, “Now no matter what happens you’ll always remember this vacation.”

She hadn’t really realized until then that one of the reasons she liked hanging out with Joey was she liked how he talked. He put words together in a way that sounded good.

So she said the same thing when she put his on, or as close as she could remember. “Now you’ll always remember this vacation, no matter what happens.” And for the next year whenever she wore the bracelet to school she’d twist it around her wrist and wonder whether Joey was wearing his too, like putting them on each other and saying the same thing had given them some special connection.

Their second day on vacation this year, when Cammie ran out in the morning to meet Joey, a blonde boy was with him. “This is Seth,” said Joey. “He’s staying on the other side of me.” By ‘me’ he meant his family’s cabin; he nodded toward it.

Cammie didn’t have to think much– if Joey thought Seth was cool, he must be cool. “I’m Cammie,” she said. “Joey and I met last summer.”

“I know,” Seth said with a smile. “He told me.”

So for that second day of vacation, there were three of them.

When they were down at the playground that night, Cammie looked up to see a girl standing a few steps from the edge of the grass. “Hi!” she called over.

The girl glanced behind her as if Cammie might be talking to someone else. No one else was there, but instead of saying ‘hi’ back she glanced over her shoulder again and walked away.

Joey was looking at her when she looked back at him. Cammie gave him an annoyed shrug, her hands open.

“Maybe she’s just shy,” said Joey. “You’re very enthusiastic. Not everybody’s into that.”

Enthusiastic. She really liked how he talked. “As long as you’re into it,” she said, and she liked the way he smiled in response.

The girl joined them the next day, their last day. She must have started talking to Seth somehow– she came over with him. She stuck close to him and talked to him most, sometimes looking at him before he talked, as if he was the only thing keeping her in the group. As if Cammie and Joey and Seth were a group that she needed approval to join instead of a few random kids who’d met about the same way she’d met them.

“You guys should have bracelets too,” Cammie said to Seth and the girl, whose name was Hailey. She held up the wrist she wore hers on. “Me and Joey got them last year and wore them a bunch, right?”

“Right,” said Joey, holding up his wrist too.

“It’s a good memory,” said Cammie, and almost added that they might want that since their parents hadn’t been talking to her and Joey’s parents so they probably wouldn’t be here at the same time for vacation next year, and they might never all be together again. She decided just in time not to say that out loud.

Hailey didn’t want to ask her parents if she could go to the store, so Seth said Cammie and Joey could go get the bracelets for them. He went back to his family’s cabin to get the money he’d bought for souvenirs and said he was paying for Hailey’s too.

On the walk to the store, Joey said, “So weird to think we might never see them again.”

“It’ll be good to have the bracelets,” said Cammie, looking at hers. “Imagine if someday we run into them somewhere else and still have our bracelets. One of them could move to the same town as one of us and go to the same school.”

“We could end up at college together someday,” said Joey. “You never know.” He started telling a story he’d heard somewhere about people who got married, and it turned out they’d been in the same grade school class and were in the same school picture.

It made Cammie think, just as a flash of a thought, about marrying Joey someday and wearing their bracelets for the wedding.

At the store, they couldn’t find the bracelets.

“We should ask,” Joey said eventually, and Cammie said, “Oh, right!” She went over to the counter and said, “Excuse me, do you have any more of these?”, holding up her wrist to show hers.

The young woman looked at it, looked confused, and said, “I’ve never seen those before. All the bracelets were have are over there.”

Cammie and Joey looked at each other. “They must have different bracelets this year,” Cammie said hopelessly.

“Okay,” said Joey. “We’ll get different ones. For us, too, so they all go together.”

“And stop wearing these?” Cammie fiddled with her bird.

“No? You can wear more than one bracelet. We can wear both. The new ones for the four of us, and the old ones for the two of us.” He touched his bird. “I like having this one to remember you.”

Cammie had that flash of a thought again. And another flash of a thought that if she was older, she might have kissed him.

She bumped wrists with him so the bracelets touched. Even though it was just cord tapping cord, she thought she almost felt a click.

2020 day 30: Earned It (joy)

2021 day 30: The One Who Was There (tree + band AU)

2022 day 31: On His Own (loud + prison)

#writersmonth2023 #my writing #self au

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rawrmeansilyindinosawr · 2 years

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THE L GOT YASSIFIED N GHANDI IS AT 14TH ST UNION SQUARE!!!!!!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the L stawped being a cunt on the weekendz w it’s fuckin delays n got individual seats that don’t clap back when u sit down ! Altho i am a “clap back “ advocate (Let ur cheekz Speak if they must ) i do wonder why

why is it always so awkward to hit on someone on public transit ?

we sit across each other staring each other down n i wish u were clumsy enough.

to leave a bag or your phone or wallet on the seat so i could say something to you but nothing is scripted here on this island of a city. there are only real moments. and this includes the pain in the people watching cuz sometimes we just end up watching them live their lives so much so in admiration we watch them leave.

I wrote dat ab some rly long white person with a maroon jumpsuit. N i don’t hav the energy to post a misc connection on Queer craigslist /LEX soooooo. Whut eve.

Dis week i hav been severely depressed n isolative besides for the day that the pilgrims decided to say it wuz the day that wuz gonna b ab slaying n giving . i ate sum dead bird n made sure even their bone marrow life mattered n cartilage cuz post veganism n peta rites advocate type beat a life is a mf life . Hoe .

Mi boss at union square Market s@id she saw her nekked neighbur whilst walkin around the duck truck. whut wuld u do if ur nekkid neighbor came to ur place of werk n every1 sais he is a rly nice person but he had a big SSHLONG. Now i kno whut ima wish 4 on my wishlist. No this isn’t 4 other bitchez . Nor is it for sshlong reveal. I wish some1 wuld notice meh as the nekkid neighbur at the union Square holidey market.

I whuhz almost in luv w a gurl who luved big patty wattyz n raised awareness for autism via tiK tok last yr n also i hate lex now!!!!!!!!!!! 2 many ppl wanting to give out their used sheets n Service tops who dont wanna Host . But i do thoroughly enjoy when Ppl wanna give their free concert tickets out . So lex gonna b the new ticketmaster to me but anarchist - community fridge version Without the food . Smfh . Y it gotta take watching perks of being a wallflower to realize we regret picking the boy w the eyebrow piercing when we culdve picked the 1 who got hit by a car butt still ended up pullin up to bossa limpin .

Im in luv with club E n gave them my tiara cuz they r a tucking princess and cuz their music reminds meh of myspace era sheit. Also they name is ren like me TWOOOOOO. twinnem:-] <3

As car seat headrest sayz in its only seggs i think bc of his demisexual cusp of asexual self .

“

OK, so I've been reading all the sex blogs

And they all talk about how OK it is to be gay

And straight and bisexual and asexual

And have sex however you like

But I don't care about hundreds of hypothetical people

And their hypothetical sex deals

I care about me, and my sex deal!

What about my problems?

Baby, my body

Constantly betrays me

I try to betray it

I only hurt myself

Yeah, yeah

I can't tell you if I like it, I like it

What happens if I don't like it? I like it

I can't tell you if I like it, I like it

What happens if I don't like it? It's only-

It's only sex

It's only

It's only sex

C'mon, sexual desire, speak! “

My brain is too fried from vyvanze dependence to decipher n explain it all right meow . I jus kno i luv those lyrics n i luv when post club - post party we all come back to mi lil floor mattress in mi tiny room n we kuddle puddle!!!!!!

Saw a Zyn nicotine ad omw to my lobotomy apt at callen lourde this mornin n i miss the dude who gav tht to meh while me werkin this japanese restaurant once n holy sheit i wuz shaking n shitting n crying my entire shift . I miss werking there cuz i made $400 a shift n lowkey I could get any vacation hours i wanted. Now im like a finance bro who goes to reggae bars in the city N gets pussy on hinge . v_v RIP!!!!!

i havnt been to saint vitus penus yet but thts Ok cuz i heard someone saw pee pee juice n eyeball juice on the bathroom mirror once n ill just stick to duffz if i wanna find a punk goth giorl to destroy my Third hole . Im crying a lot these days super fragile as well as today being a significant date for me N i missh ketamine so damn much butt i refuse to sniff anymore cuz i nvr kno how to dose w the diff german strainz n i always get sickie or khole n see myself on a train n being someone’s mutha . Weird!!!!!!!!!!’

Idek if i givin up on life or life givin up on meh but im just mf done . N i kno dis cuz im in my candle era yall . Where i lie n say i’m “running errands “ but sniffin diff candles at target n burglington ALONE . all dis for some mf seratonin biotch ????!!!????? Alsoo last randomo thot but i luv one of my good friendz from nyu n they were ganged up on bc of some DUMB RUMORS n i gots to say i kant stand a fucking bully or ppl who kant extend grace to others cuz it just feels v cliquey n stupid . Lik if we rly gonna believ rumors n gossip n not see someone’s character or try to understand i don’t see how ppl can b ok wit the ppl they hav to be with when they r alone with themselvez at nite . We r constantly evolving and it’s wrong to hold things against people esp in this age and this goes for me as well. I hope to receive the grace and love and empathy that I extend .

Soooooo many more fuckin thots n ramblingz like how i wish there was a poll i could start somewhere outside of instagram ab who wuld fuck G Eazy post halsey (Cmon , “tumblr girls”was an AMAZING song!!!!!!) N how much i luv egg by the garden but. Til nxt wk Babez.

Xx , ketaminechic NOT CHICK who doesn’t do ketamine anymore but kant put the energy into changing it then changing it on all platforms cuz omfGGGGGGGggg who cares that deeply ab this social media Bullsheit anywayzzz , Renny baby <3 :-] visit me at union square market Booth c20til Xmas eve !!!

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dreamofjoys · 2 years

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Hi! If the requests are still avable, can I ask for Malleus x f!MC who remain forgotten by the dorm leaders on a road trip, at a gas station on the way to idk amusement park or Disney land or a beach, In which it turns out into a makeout. Idk Something like this: Azul:.... I feel like we forgot something

Kalim: Can I speak now?

Leona: If you gonna ask are we there yet for the HUNDRED TIM-

Kalim: You guys forgot Malleus and MC at the last gas station

All dorm leaders :.....

Meanwhile:~~

Malleus and MC makeout at the back of the gas station

If you want to do it, or you can just ignore it if you don't like it. I thought it would be funny. Btw its my first time I ask you a request, and I really like your posts, all of them! 😍🥰🥺👏🙏

anon-☕

a/n: anon we need more people like you 😍 this is so FUNNY I CANT OWBOWBWOWW I chose disneyland park for the trip. and this is au, malleus and mc has a crush on each other, but has yet to confess until they got dumped alone in the gas station. this got extremely long, smut is at the bottom.

I changed dormleader to housewarden

how the trip to disneyland came about

it was definitely NOT crowley’s idea, there’s no way that bird man will allow a group of students to go on a vacation (he needs y’all to stay nice and quiet in nrc to handle the problems while hes the one sneaking out for vacation)

it was kalim who proposed to hold a vacation trip to disneyland park with just the housewardens, including you; i mean think about it, you are technically a house warden too. except your members is just grim and a few dead people aka ghost

and how could that bird man decline kalim? hes literally the son of THE ASIM family, who has donated tons of money to school

crowley could only seal his lips shut, give a stamp of approval to the vacation trip, that is fully funded by kalim’s family

someone needs to smack crowley on the face lol how could you not sponsor your own students-

anyways, all housewardens (including you and yes malleus) were invited to this trip

how the housewardens prepare themself for the trip

riddle: he reads every single rule that is stated by disneyland park. had them memorised in his brain. definitely ready to collar anyone who breaks any rule (thought im not sure if he is strong enough to collar another housewarden. hes probably the most junior in this trip, even azul has.. some more patience than him i guess). he packs a few essentials like water bottle and wallet.

leona: ok look, he doesn’t want to go at first. disneyland park? he thinks that it’s a children thing. he ain’t gonna be a little cub running around, trying out different type of rides. that’s more like a cheka thing. he ain’t cheka, hes a big and strong man- ends up agreeing to go after being persuaded by kalim many many times. his plan is just to sleep through the car ride, go there and eat some meat, and sleep in the car again until he reaches back to nrc. probably doesn’t really pack anything. would just bring himself there lol

azul: like riddle, he reads every rule there, except he is a little more…. business like. he search up on what’s the trend there in disneyland. how are they fairing in their business? at which season do they earn the most money? definitely research all of that. also for the ticket entrance, is kalim really sponsoring it? will double and triple confirm to make sure that he isn’t getting scammed lol. he definitely packs a camera and a notebook so that he can take pictures of the park, and note down any important information that can help mostro lounge.

kalim: this boy is excited. he was the one planning the trip after all, thinking that it would be a nice vacation after dealing with numerous overblots. will eagerly tell his family about it, which means= his dad hiring a private car for all 8 people, ensuring good security in the park, making sure all rides and food are available. i think he will pack some cameras too, just to take pictures for memories. won’t bring any money, cause all he needa say is “just bill it to the asim family!”

vil: a vacation? he thinks is nice to finally relax from his workload. like riddle and azul, he will do some research beforehand to understand more about disneyland park. what are the things that he should look out for? a must go to place? how are the people like there? if vil lives in modern au, i can promise you that he is the type to get vaccination 2 weeks before his trip just so that he wouldn’t catch any viral infection. he packs everything nicely. sunblock, moisturiser, body mist, wet tissue paper, perfume, you name it. he has everything in that small little bag of his.

idia: instantly rejected the idea. he doesn’t want to hang out with normies. doesn’t want to socialise with anyone. he just wants to stay in his room and play with his game. ortho tried to convince him to go, but idia was too stubborn, viewing the whole trip pointless. it wasn’t until ortho pulled out his trump card, pulling his teary eyes out as he sobbed, saying that he just wants the best for his big brother. idia panics, but his decision is still the same. ortho starts crying and wailing, and that’s when idia gave in, finally saying yes to the trip. he brings his phone only, and a big ass jacket to cover and disguise himself; not like anyone will recognise him anyway.

malleus: when he received the invitation, he was happy, elated, delighted, and whatever words that could describe his mood. he consults lilia on what he should do during the vacation. should he tell them some old stories? play some pranks like how lilia did? lilia laughs and tell malleus to act normal and just enjoy the trip. but most importantly, malleus was looking forward since you were going too! he sees it as a chance to get closer to you, with 6 extra people. also doesn’t pack anything, he can get anything with a snap of his fingers.

during the road trip

a typical problem that happens during the road trip, gas running low in the car

the driver decided to stop at a gas station to refill up the gas

the 8 of you decided to step out of the car, stretch some muscles and breathe in some fresh air

leona was actually grumbling about how they could have used the dark mirror to teleport to disneyland instantly

please tell him that is no fun teleporting when you can just sit back and admire the view

you and malleus decided to go to the convenience store at the gas station to grab some ice cream (a/n: all gas stations in my country has a convenience store; like a 7-11 lmao and then you can pay your bills there too but idk about other countries)

but thennnnn the both of you forgot to inform the rest that you and malleus were queueing up to pay for the ice cream, the driver only paid for the bills for gas, failing to notice you and malleus in the queue

and soooo the rest of the housewardens + driver left the gas station without you and malleus 💀

literally no one noticed until the ride was already 30mins in, halfway reaching disneyland park

kalim during the ride: are we reaching soon?

driver: not yet

leona: *groans, trying to sleep*

azul: *frowning cause he feels like something is missing*

idia: *couldnt care less*

vil: *admiring the scenery, but also feels that something is off*

riddle: *trying to get leona and idia to sit up straight and not slouch*

the first one to break the silence was azul

azul: i feel like we are missing something

kalim: are-

leona: stfu and stop asking if we are reaching soon!

kalim: aren’t we missing out malleus and mc at the gas station?

riddle gasps, leona sighs really loud, azul nervously pushing up his spectacles, vil drops his mirror while idia simply ascended to heaven.

they just left the crown prince of briar valley in the middle of nowhere, with a magic less human. sebek is about to scream at them.

poor driver was sweating profusely, literally drives back to the gas station in full speed as the housewardens beg him to hurry the fuck up. they don’t want to face the consequence of dumping a prince alone. technically not since mc is there.

back at the gas station

“they left without us.” malleus said as you whipped your head towards the area where the rest of the housewardens was supposed to be, except is empty.

“im going to call them!” you took out your phone, scrolling through your contacts and looking for idia’s number. how could they forgot about you and malleus?! you found idia’s number and was about to call him until malleus stopped you from doing so.

“before that, mc, can i tell you something?”

“su-sure?”

“i like you.”

du-DUN DUN the malleus fucking draconia, also known as your crush, has finally confessed! your face heats up at the sudden confession, because damn, it caught you off guard, and you didn’t expect him to reciprocate your feelings.

“i like you too,malleus.” malleus grins, happy that you feel the same way.

“so what do we do now?”

“we can make out.” it was just a joke from malleus, or so you thought.

because moments later, he brought you to the back of the gas station, starts lifting up your skirt and rubs on your cloth cunt. you stifled back a moan, feeling embarrassed and unsure if the both of you should be doing this in public. but malleus assures you that is okay, he wouldn’t let anyone see you like this, is a sight reserve for him only. so when he ask if he could take things further, you nodded your head and said yes.

he pulls your panties aside, pushing a finger in as you moaned, feeling that foreign finger inside you. malleus gets you nice and wet first, making sure that he has stretch you enough with just his finger before unzipping his pants, freeing his cock to insert it into you.

he lifts you up and pressed you against the wall in a mating press position. when he finally bottoms out, he groans at the feeling of your gummy walls spasming around him. everytime you clench on him, he could feel his head getting dizzy, feeling how unbelievably tight and comfy you are.

you covered your mouth, suppressing your moans as malleus thrust into you slowly. the vein that decorates his cock brush onto your walls, stimulating and turning you on more, letting you feel just exactly how big malleus is. with how slow and sensual the thrust is, you were sure that malleus was just trying to mould your pussy into the shape of his cock, making sure that it only accommodates him, making sure that your pussy won’t forget how his cock makes you feel.

“fa-faster..” you begged malleus, and he complies to it, increasing his pace, making sure that his balls slams onto you before pulling out and abruptly pushing himself into you to feel your walls again.

it wasn’t long before you orgasmed, your fluids drenching his cock and pants wet again. malleus only hums, amused that he was able to get such a reaction out from your body. he wonders if he could do it again? sadly, malleus knows that the other housewardens are coming back to get the both of you, so he snap his fingers, drying up the mess that the both of you had made while he dresses you up, making sure that you are comfortable.

“does it hurt?” malleus asked you as you leaned your head against his chest. “a little.” you did felt… pain from the stretch at first but you couldn’t deny that it was amazing.

“im sorry, i will be more gentle next time.” malleus apologised, pressing a kiss on your cheek as you giggled. “does this mean that we are official?” “yeah.” you cheered, peppering kisses over malleus’s face while telling him how much you like him. oh dear, i guess someone is really excited to date THE malleus draconia.

malleus felt really happy. today was a good day, he can feel it. he gets to fuck the love of his life and is invited to a vacation. seriously, nothing can get better than this.

anyway a few minutes later, the housewardens arrived, looking for both you and malleus. the both of you were waiting at the entrance of the gas station patiently, so when you spotted the familiar car, you waved at them.

the car stops in front of you and malleus as the automatic door opens. when you and malleus step inside of the car, leona growls and glares at the both of you.

“seriously? that’s what you have been doing while the rest of us were panicking?”

the rest of the housewardens were confused at leona’s statement. you blushed while malleus only smirks. looks like that’s something that only the 3 of you would know.

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #imagines #y/n #diasomnia #vil schoenheit #pomofiere #dreamofjoystwst #dreamofjoysdrabbles #leona kingscholar #twisted wonderland riddle #twst azul #twst kalim #scarabia #twst smut #malleus smut #smut #twst malleus draconia #anon ☕️

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dear-ao3 · 3 years

Note

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon

#if i had to see this all you fuckers do to #not a tag #from saph #im not having a good morning and this made me cry thanks for that #the bee movie #long post

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historieofbeafts · 4 years

Note

What about some of the weirder and underappreciated sea monsters?

I’m going to level with you, this took forever because whenever I see the words “underappreciated sea monsters” a part of my brain statics out & starts chanting ALL👏 OF👏 THEM

but since I can’t figure out how to turn a beam of concentrated enthusiasm for every sea monster ever to exist into a tumblr post, here’s an attempt to cover some greatest hits:

Serra/Sawfish

Underappreciated really only applies in modern times, since the sawfish had a wildly successful career as a medieval ocean menace & is one of the few marine creatures to regularly appear in bestiaries

Isidore of Seville describes it as having a serrated back that it uses to cut through the bottom of boats (clearly based on Pliny the Elder’s account of swordfish stabbing passing vessels)

But in its most popular iteration the sawfish is more irritating than lethal. Standard operating procedure is to force any ship it sees into a race, only to get bored and tired partway through and plunge back into the depths out of frustration

This is supposed to teach a moral lesson about persistence, but it mostly seems like a fun random encounter

The real delight is that, because no description other than “serration” and occasionally “wings” is really offered, artists were free to draw whatever they thought a commitment-phobic sea nuisance should look like

Is it a bird? A dog? A fish? Unimportant! It’s here to cause problems

[Bibliothèque nationale de France , Latin 10448, fol. 119v]

[The Morgan Library & Museum, MS M.81, fol. 69r]

[British Library, Sloane MS 278, fol. 51r]

[British Library, Sloane MS 3544, fol. 42v]

[Det Kongelige Bibliotek, GKS 3466 8º, fol. 44]

Flying Turtle

This implausible little guy’s first recorded appearance is on a 1558 edition of a map of Northern Europe by Dutch mapmaker Cornelis Anthonisz

It was quickly copied by many of the biggest names in 16th c. cartography, including Abraham Ortelius & Gerard Mercator (of Mercator projection fame/infamy)

In Sea Monsters on Medieval and Renaissance Maps Chet Van Duzer suggests that, since Anthonisz’ publisher printed under the sign of the turtle, it’s possible this was a piece of branded content that got mistaken for a real creature

That’s both great marketing and a great origin for a cryptid. Modern publishing houses take note

“According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a turtle should be able to fly...”

[Michele Tramezzino, Septentrionalium regionum, Suetiae, Gothiae, Norwegiae, Daniae et terrarum adjacentium recens exactaq. descriptio.]

[Urbano Monte’s 60 sheet manuscript map of 1587, fully digitized and assembled into a planisphere @ the David Rumsey Map Collection]

[Mercator, Tabulae geographicae Cl. Ptolemaei ad mentem auctoris restitutis ac emendatis.]

The Sea Pig of 1537

Blatant favouritism because this is both my icon and the only thing on this list I’ve written about semi-seriously, but it’s forbidden pet time!

In 1537 a pamphlet was printed in Rome briefly describing a monster found in the North Sea and much less briefly explaining how it was a sign of moral decline

Sample interpretations: extra eyes to signify lust & gluttony, a moon on the back of the head to signify turning away from truth, four dragon feet to signify malice from all four corners of the earth

*slaps the roof of sea pig* this bad boy can fit so many allegories for sin in it

Was this propaganda related to growing tensions between Catholics and Protestants? Probably! Was it also cutting edge marine biology? Yup, and it was a breakout hit, making its way into the works of Olaus Magnus, who calls it “ominous in every feature,” and Conrad Gesner, who reclassifies it as a kind of hyena

[The 1537 pamphlet, Monstrum in oceano Germanico a piscatoribus nuper captum & eius partium omnium subtilis ac theologica interpretatio, available in a bad scan from google books here]

[Conrad Gesner, Historia animalium liber IV, digitally available @ the Biodiversity Heritage Library]

Honourable Mention: Whatever This Is

I genuinely don’t know

It shows up off the coast of Sardinia in the 1584 Mercator edition of Ptolemy's Geographia & the monsters in that are mostly derivative, but I can’t think of any source with this much hair, so here are some other possibilities:

Timetravelling wookie

Bigfoot’s No Good, Very Bad Beach Vacation

Lost dog

[ Mercator, Tabulae geographicae Cl. Ptolemaei ad mentem auctoris restitutis ac emendatis ]

Dishonourable Mention: This Guy

Only appears in two sources that I know of, for which I’m eternally grateful

Those sources are 16th c. world maps by Giacomo Gastaldi and Urbano Monte, men who owe everyone an apology for what they’ve unleashed upon the world

Here’s Chet Van Duzer’s translation of Monte’s description: “ …in the ocean here there often appear some fish in human form of such strangeness, that raising themselves above the water they surpass the highest masts of ships, so that, screaming horribly and making some valleys in the water, they move themselves with their arms which they have in the shape of great tree trunks twenty-five palms long, and there is no boatswain’s mate so brave that he would not be terrified by their monstrosity.”

Don’t care for that at all

Joking dislike aside, this resembles a water spirit of the kind more commonly found in bogs, fens, marshes, ponds or streams, and it upsets my sense of order to see it out of its natural habitat & in the open ocean

[Again, you can find Monte’s fully-assembled 60 sheet map at the David Rumsey Map Collection, and it truly is a work of art despite containing this man]

#asks #sea monsters #the return of medieval europe's best supporting act #worried men in boats #this one got away from me a bit #maybe the real monster is my inability to be brief about this interest

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minzart · 3 years

Note

Jafar helping Jamil is kinda cool...did Jamil meet lago too

Did I just watched some of Iago's best clips to do this? Yes,Yes I did. And I forgot how good he's at imitating voices wich wouldn't surprise me if I remembere that he was aparrot

And for what I saw twst don't count the sequels so let's say iago was stuck with jafar until now for the sake of my sanity

THE SASSY BIRD

Literally was stuck with jafar for one thousand years or so, a bird needs to fly men

Now I imagine the metting was something like this:

Jafar: and this is Iago, he will help you on your duties

Iago: I won't help shit! FREEDOM AND YOU WANNA SPEND TIME WITH THIS KID? HAVE YOU FINALY LOST IT JAFAR???

Jafar: don't mind the tongue just shove a Cracker on his mouth and everything's ok

Iago: don't you dare punky

Jamil: I... (explosions sounds from the kitchen) I got more important matters now, just, just don't destroy my room

Jamil just straight up asks him what he wants to eat and now he's on Iago's golden boy list FINALLY SOMETHING OTHER THAN CRACKERS

Shares stories about Jafar and had war flashbacks when meeting kalim who tried to feed him

Iago: I swear to you kid he went NUTS when he discovered the little rascals Identity, didn't stop laughing for hourrrsss

Becomes Jamil's unofficial pet, and accompanied him on classes sometimes, Grim is suspicions of him... Lucius tried to eat him at least once, mostly just exploring the area, saw Crowley once and:"why does the chicken brain has a human body and I don't???"

When he discovers Jamil's crush? Oh boy...

Yuu: hey Jamil! Is that a parrot?

Jamil: my... sister... send him for a vacation, he was so lonely without me

Yuu: ow isn't he handsome~ can I pet you?

Iago just... stares and let them why not, it's not like he has a choic- ohhhh the scratches~

Yuu: handsome like the owner hm?

Jamil is realy considering living in his hoodie after that.

One night Jamil was just going to bed and

Yuu's voice: I love you jamil~

He jumps and turns to Iago who's cracking his butt off his blush

Jamil throws pillows at him

Iago likes the kid, specially if he's gonna give him food

Jamil's ok with him, finds Iago funny and isn't gonna pass the opportunity to vent his frustrations to a bird that can and will talk back but knows when to shut up about those things

Iago: and then you just push him off a cliff and BAM everything's resolved!

Jamil: it's not that simple

Iago: It's better than waching them being swoon away kid!

Jamil: you realy think I don't have a plan? And you are going to help me through it

Iago: oh boy I see the resemblance now

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney iago #sgs au #twst sgs au #spirits of the great seven au #nonny!#you just gave me an idea that the henchmen/pets of the villain can be more corporeal tha them and so can cause MORE TROUBLE #let me just nkte that the Jafar scar ursula and hades interactions were my favorites to write #i don't know. I just never expected to turn out the way they did and I'm really happy with them!#jafar comming with a mugg wittren best dad on it with dad being scribbled over. to the villains metting on the other world or something wit #the smugness emanating from him. guess who just robed a spot on the boys life #jamil viper #i need to rewatch this movie #such nostalgia #heheheh now he did nonny. And I'm really glad you liked that one!

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dragon-kazansky · 3 years

Text

Lay beside me | Helmut Zemo

Requested by @cherry-season

Collage made for me @real---remy Thank you so much!!!

Another lengthy one. Steamy situation ahead 😏

Sometimes you wanted to curse the way the universe worked. It's as if the universe took joy in your misery and you could nothing but deal with cards you were dealt.

The four of you: Sam, Bucky, Zemo and yourself, were stopping off at a hotel for the night. The place was pretty luxurious, but with Zemo in the group, you didn't expect anything less.

After finding out he's a Baron, nothing he does surprises you any more.

You were actually kind of impressed. You had never stayed anywhere so nice before. There was nice, and then there was nice. This place certainly fell under nice.

"Why do we have to be working? Why can't this be a vacation?" You sigh, looking around the beautiful lobby.

"Perhaps this is a reason to come back in the future," Zemo suggest, looking at you.

"As if I could afford to stay here on my own."

You all stroll up to the reception desk, letting Zemo take the lead. He requests four rooms, really not caring about the cost. He assumes everyone would be happier on their own, thought he wouldn't admit he wouldn't mind sharing a room with a certain someone.

He glanced at you. You were standing beside him, looking over at the seating area in the corner. He smiled at how interested you seemed in main entrance area alone. When the receptionist addressed him, he turned his attention there.

You wouldn't say this place was posh, but it was just so... classy. You really felt like you stood out in your gear.

"There's only two room available, with the festival in town, we are otherwise full."

All of you looked at the receptionist as if she had grown another head. That meant you would have to share with someone, unless....

"The three of you can share right?" You ask, looking at the three men.

"You mean I have to share a room with Bucky and Zemo? No, why don't we share?" Sam gestured between him and you.

"And leave Bucky alone with Zemo? Is that a good idea?"

"Well, I'm not sharing a room with Zemo."

"Then you have to share with Bucky."

"Which leaves you with Zemo." Sam couldn't see any good combination out of this. "I would rather Bucky than Zemo though."

You glance at Zemo who was looking at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Fine. I'll share with Zemo, but I won't hesitate to stab him if he does something," you warn, looking right at the Baron.

"Hey, I'm not complaining." Sam puts his hands up.

Zemo grabs the key cards off the desk, hands one to Sam and keeps hold of the other. Bucky glares at Zemo as you all enter the elevator.

Oh, it's awkward.

Bucky is standing behind Zemo, glaring at the back of his head. Sam is trying not to say anything. Zemo is looking at you from the corner of his eye, and then there's you standing there trying to avoid looking at any of them.

The ride up feels like forever. When the doors open, you're quick to get out. Unfortunately, you can just rush off. Firstly, Zemo has the key. Secondly, you're not sure which way the room is.

For a short bit you all go in the same direction, but Sam and Bucky have to break off down another hall to their room. Sam gives Zemo another warning, before reassuring you they will come quickly if you need them. You nod and let them go.

Helmut leads the way, unlocking the door when you arrive. He holds the door open for you.

"You first, little bird," he smiles as he gestures into the room with his free hand.

You duck past him and go inside.

The room isn't massive, but there's enough room to move around. There's a bed plenty big enough for two, a chair in the corner, a small desk and a stool. A tiny TV was situated on the wall.

It would do.

To be fair, you shouldn't complain. This is the nicest room you've had to stay in for a while. You walk over and sit in the chair.

Zemo places the key on the desk and removes his coat, hanging it in the small open wardrobe by the door. He turns around to face you.

"I apologise for the turn out."

You look at him stoically.

"It's fine."

Zemo was honestly over the moon he was sharing a room with you. He had hoped this would happen, it was an opportunity to talk to you without your "bodyguards" hovering around. Helmut hadn't had much of chance to sit and talk with you since your paths crossed.

"So, sleeping arrangements." Zemo runs his hand together as he looks at the bed.

"You take it. I can sleep in the chair." You were used to it, as much as you would love to relax in the comfortable looking bed. It looked so warm and welcoming.

"I won't allow that. It looks like we'll have to share the bed, little bird." He has a sly grin on his lips as he looks at you.

"You wish."

"There is no point in discomfort if the bed can fit two. I will not allow you to sleep on the floor or the chair. I already know your boys will come running if I step so much out of line. Are you really willing to sacrifice a warm bed for your own pride?"

You glare at him, but it's hardly threatening.

"No."

You stand up and walk over to the bed. You sit down on the other side, the mattress squashing down under you.

"Fine, but I meant it when I said I would stab you."

"I know," he chuckles.

The pair of you met up sigh the boys to have some dinner down in the food hall downstairs. Both boys checked in with you to make sure you were alright with the arrangements. You assured them it was fine, much to Zemo's delight.

Helmut assured you that you could order whatever you wanted, but you kept it pretty casual, not feeling good about leaching off him off him like this.

After the meal, you returned to your room.

You took off most of your gear and grabbed the remote for the TV. You decided to get comfortable in the bed and watch something.

Zemo disappeared into the bathroom to use the shower.

You really tried not to dwell on that too much. Yet, the idea of him in a steamy shower... no! No, you couldn't.

What is wrong with me?

You tried to focus on the TV, but you can't. You glance to the bathroom door. You can hear the shower running. He's in there, hot and wet... and naked.

Damn it brain!

You covered your face with your hands. You wanted to scream, but that would just bring him out to check on you.

You didn't hear the water turn off, or the door unlock moments later. You were far too occupied scolding yourself in your head, trying not to think about him.

"Is something the matter?"

You look up in shock, startled by his voice.

Now you're staring.

He was dressed in only a bathrobe, most of the top was open, his chest on display. There was a chain necklace hanging against the damp skin exposed to you.

You didn't realise the way your eyes soaked him in, or the way you licked your lips as you stared at him.

Zemo noticed.

"See something you like?"

You blink, shake your head, and turn away. He chuckles deeply as comes over to the bed. You feel the otherwise of the mattress dip down as he climbs in.

He smells so good.

Damn it!

You do everything in your power to avoid looking at him, but his presence is so prominent. You can feel him beside you.

Zemo is staring at you. He had been since he came back in. Your cheeks were flushed, you were very early trying to avoid him, and you were gripping the bed sheets like it was a life line.

He couldn't help grinning. He had no idea he could have this effect on you.

"Little bird~"

"Don't call me that."

"Liebling, then."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing bad." He grins.

"I don't trust that."

Zemo shifts so he is resting on his side, one hand supporting his head and the other resting on the bed in front of him. He keeps his eyes on your face.

You take a glance.

His smile grows when you catch his gaze.

You sink down into the bed, still trying not to look at him. Your eyes on the TV, but you still have no idea what's going on. You can't get him out of your head.

"You must be tired."

"A bit."

"Sleep, I promise I won't do anything," he speaks softly.

"I know."

He chuckles softly. He watches as you try and get more comfortable. You let out a relieved sigh when you find the right spot. He just watches you.

"This must be nice for you," you say, looking up at the ceiling.

"What do you mean?"

"Staying in a lavish hotel, sleeping in a big bed... and the company."

"I suppose. Though you get used to being alone in a cell," he states.

You give in and roll over, racing him. You have to look up since he is propped up over you. He smiles softly down at you.

The scent of the hotel soap wafts past your nose. God, it makes you want to do things.

Brain, stop it.

Your eyes are drifting to his chest again.

"What's going through that head of yours?"

"Nothing!"

"I don't believe you."

"Well it's the truth."

"I don't think so," he whispers.

"What do you think then?"

"Judging by the way you keep looking at me, and not at my eyes I might add, I think you have plenty on your mind."

"Well," you try not to blush too much as you meet his beautiful brown eyes, "if you knew how to tie a robe properly, I wouldn't be staring."

"I don't mind you staring."

"I mind." You sit up and glare at him.

"Show me how to tie a robe then." Zemo sits up in the bed and untied the belt, allowing the robe to fall open. He sits there looking smugly at you.

You have no idea where to look.

"Oh my God!"

He laughs. The sound send shivers down your spine. It was the most genuine sound you had ever heard. He may laughing at you, but you would give anything to hear that sound again.

"Show me."

You shake out of your thoughts and look at the belt he has left laying on either side of him. You have to move closer to him to get a good angle. You sit up and face him, trying to avoid straddling him. You grab the robe and close it over him, trying so hard not to stare. Though, your eyes did wonder, you stopped yourself when you realised he is literally only wearing the robe.

One of his hands reach up and tuck under your chin, bringing your eyes to meet his. The smile on his face is subtle. His eyes take in your beauty.

"Don't be shy. You can look."

You shake your head softly and continue to close his robe, ignoring the obvious below his waist. Was he really turned on by this?

His hand had drifted from your chin to your cheek. His thumb brushed gently across your cheekbone as you tied the belt around him. This time there was far less on view.

"Done," you whisper.

His thumb moves to brush against your bottom lip. His touch is so gentle and ghost like. Your hands are resting over his covered chest. You can feel his heart beating under your hand.

Before you can think too much about it, his arms are looping around you and pulling you down into his chest. Your face falls inches away from his face. His eyes flicker over your face, taking in every little detail. Your leg drapes over his as he captures your lips with his. He's careful to roll you over so you're against the bed and he's over you. His kiss becomes more fierce when he realises you're not pushing him away. Your hands loop around his neck to hold him against you. He moves from your lips to your jaw, down your neck, pulling at the collar of your top to kiss as much skin as can access.

That's when you stop him. You place your hands on his shoulders and push him back.

"This is wrong..."

"You weren't giving that impression," he moves his face back to yours, an inch of space rests between you.

"Zemo-"

"Helmut, please."

"Helmut... I can't. It feels like I'm betraying their trust."

"They'll never have to know."

"But I'll carry that guilt with me."

Those stunning eyes of his turn almost sad. His tongue runs across his bottom lip as he moves from above you. Zemo settles on side next to you, laying as close as he can to you.

"Then allow me tonight to hold you. I may not get this chance again." He holds his arm open to you.

You admire his messy hair and soft gaze. He offers you a tiny smile. You roll over and settle into his chest, his arm drapes around you and he gathers you into his embrace. He plants a kiss to your head as you rest against his chest.

"Sleep. I want to hold you for a while."

You tilt your head up to kiss his jaw and settle into his arms, closing your eyes and listening to the way his heart races.

You wanted to tell yourself Zemo was just lonely, but as you lay there with him, you wondered of he held you in high regard. Perhaps there was more to this than you were thinking.

In the morning when you wake, you're still tangling in his arms. Your head was on his chest, his arms were still wrapped around you, though loosely. Your legs were tangled with his and his head nestled against yours.

You lay there in silence.

You're not sure how much time passed before he woke, but you had enjoyed every single second of it.

When he realised you were still resting against him, he tightened his hold on your and planted a kiss to your head, much like he had done before you fell asleep.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Liebling."

"I still don't know what that means," you mutter, not wanting to disturb the peace that had settled over you.

"I'll tell you later," he grins.

"I haven't slept that well in ages."

"I can say the same," he opens his eyes and looks at you, giving you a dashing smile.

"I almost don't want to get up."

"Then don't."

"We'll have to at some point," you tell him.

He chuckles softly as he closes his eyes again, nestling his face next to yours.

"We'll worry about that later. For now, let me enjoy this moment."

You smile and get comfortable against him.

"Alright."

Sam and Bucky and would throw a fit if they could see you now, but even that wouldn't be enough to stop how happy this man had made you in one night.

You hoped that, perhaps, you would get a second chance to do this. Maybe then you'll give him what he wanted last night.

Maybe, just maybe, something irreversible had begun.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn

#tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo #zemo #zemo x reader #marvel

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