#they are toxic and sad desperate and full of angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kuyurasu · 2 years

Text

Dearest Lost Lovers,

Sincerely Your Children

Genre ; Romance, Fantasy, Angst, Angst-with-a-happy-ending, Fluff, Smut

Note ; Y/n is a male. His personality may not align with yours but it's easier writing a lore story with Y/n having a full personality. He is also to have a pyro ability + be a descendant of a Phoenix. Y/n is referred to as Rhys in his past life but is the same person and has all his memories. The children are more mature than in reality due to the circumstances of wartime.

I will say this again; Y/n's personality may not align with yours. It is a rude, mean, and blunt personality.

Trope : 'I hate everyone but you.'

Timeline : Before Archon War, During Archon War, WAY After Archon War, but before Morax's 'Death.'

Warnings ; Fluff, Angst, Smut, Smut with Plot, Safe + Healthy (Non-Toxic) Yandere, Y/n Death + Reincarnation, Descriptions of gore + tons mentions of death.

Soft/Playful degradation, praise, body worship, slight religious themes but not too bad, foreplay, soft sex turned rough, desperate, teasing, playful, Y/n is a major simp basically, oral, breeding kink(?), and more prob. Use of Y/n.

Switch/Dom Reader, Top Male Reader.

WC : 13163

Characters : 73406

Read time : Approx. 88 min.

Pairings ; Zhongli/Morax x Seme-Hybrid!Y/n

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A story was told hundreds of years ago during wartime to soothe the cries of children.

Centuries later, those children remember the story and are more determined than ever to reunite the lost lovers.

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"Gather around children, I will tell you a tale lost long to time." The cloaked individual spoke. His deep and silky voice caused the many children to shush each other excitedly and sit on the ground.

The hiccups of tears of some still sounded, but by the promise of a way to escape, it quieted.

The dark, unknown man smiled gently at the endearing display of the youth. His sigh carried in the winds as he made sure the fire was still fighting, and the large blanket dropped perfectly on the children. "Now then… This will be a story you children will long to hear the next part and pray you never forget, for this is a tragic love story, to remind those who are lost, that it is not the end." He chuckled when he saw the apprehension of waiting.

A girl, no older than 6, called out, "Sir! What is this story about?" Her plump little red cheeks from the cold squished together, making her look more adorable.

The hidden man got comfortable once more, "This story is about two lovers. One forever too long-lasting, and one that can not stay. Are you ready, little ones?" He waited until he saw their adorable heads eagerly nodding before beginning his story.

"Long ago, there was a boy.

He was born in the grasses of Sumeru and was very cute, much like all of you," the children and him started laughing at his comment, "and was very happy.

His name was Rhys.

He drank from the clean streams, hunted his own food, and-"

"What happened to his mommy?" A lisping boy at around 5 years asked with a sad look in his eyes.

The cloaked man coughed a bit before smiling. "Well, little one, Rhys was much like you, burdened by having no one. But, much like you, he didn't let that hold him back." The children gave a look of pain at the memories of their loved ones leaving them. They were suddenly reminded of the sounds of war in the distance.

"But he had his forest anyways. He tended to it and grew to consider even the trees part of his family! He could even talk to them."

There was a collective spark in each of the little one's eyes, happy the boy wasn't too much like them. Cries of pain from an unknown God in the background were muffled by the cloaked man continuing.

"His mother made him from the softest feathers and a dying eternal flame…" He whispered, now hugging the boy, comforting both of them, and gesturing to the fire in front of them, for it too, was dying.

The 5-year-old gladly attached to the man's waist.

"The fire gave him a life that branched off to eternity, now that it had a reason to burn. The little boy learned how to string a bow, make his own arrows, use his gift of fire, and even become one with the forest he resides in. And you know what?" The children repeated the last word with starry eyes. "Rhys had beautiful wings. They were bigger than me!"

"Bigger than you?!" Said a different child, one of the youngest.

He chuckled.

"Yes, bigger than me, child. Rhys grew over time and lived longer than many mortals. Even the trees that grew were as old as he. He loved living in his forest and enjoyed each day to the fullest…"

The boy reached down, filling his hands with water from the creek and bringing it to his mouth. The sounds of crickets, buzzing, and chirping filled his ears. All he was accustomed to in the twelve years of living in the thick forest.

He quickly straightened at the sound of a twig snapping, though. His trained, bright eyes scanned his surroundings. He wasn't used to being the prey.

His wings spread out, forcing his body to be powerful and ready to fly. The boy felt no fear, knowing that this was the way of the wild.

Soon enough, a baby ocelot sprung from the bushes and began to nibble on the arm of the boy.

The stress and intimidation seeped from his bones and muscles. "You have much to learn," he laughed and began to pet and play with the animal. "What have you found now?" He mused, watching as the ocelot began to lead the boy away.

His wings fluttered around him, pulling into a careful coil behind his back to not stand in the way of many trees and other obstacles.

The ocelot skipped ahead, showing a scene that Rhys had never thought he'd see in his life. The grass was sunken and darkened colored, withered beyond recognition. The trees were making noises he'd never heard before, begging for help in a distorted way. Even the boy felt his body begin to wear down, a feeling deep in his chest that urged him to leave. It felt difficult to breathe and made him dizzy while inhaling anyway.

Rhys covered his mouth as he staggered towards the glowing red in his vision, something warning him to get rid of it. This thing was the one causing all of this and to protect… his for… forest…. He had…

To…

…

Ge…t, rid o…

…of it…

"And then, just like that… Rhys fainted under the pressure of the Withering." The cloaked man clapped his hands. "Now, little ones, let's get you to bed." There was a chorus of protests as the man led them back into the tent the children shared. "Now, now, don't worry. I'll be back."

"Please, Mr. M, can you pleaseee continue? We really aren't tired!" On cue, humorously, the girl yawned. The other children agreed, but the man was persistent in their rest, so he came up with an idea to keep their tears at bay and the pain in their hearts to disappear.

He smiled as he tucked them in the blankets, "Hm. I'll tell you what, little one, if you can stay awake… I guess, I can continue." He shrugged, making it seem like they had worn him down and won.

All the children agreed instantly, happy they convinced their temporary guardian.

The man adjusted his hood, keeping it hiding most of his face. "All right… We are in agreement. You children must stay awake to hear the story." He smiled, the only thing the children could see from the darkness of the fabric.

"Rhys had woken many months later, but nothing was the same ever again. He turned cold and bitter as if the withering had corrupted his mind instead of his body. Turns out, that guess wasn't far off."

The cloaked man kept the fire but shielded the eyes of the young from its brightness.

"Those who had saved him came weeks after he discovered the withering zone. Lying there, absorbing the darkness day and night. Once they cured the surrounding land, Rhys remained unconscious. The Mortals didn't know they had forgotten to kill one branch of the withering, forcing it to go into the boy's body. Nor did they know how to treat an immortal who had been sullied." A collective gasp surrounded the children in their slow-blinking eyes, making the man chuckle.

His body came in contact with the ground as he sat, beginning to pamper the closest kid near him, it turns out it was one of the quieter children, so he took extra care in making her comfortable and willing to not suppress the emotions that she took great care in hiding.

"The withering simply made a darkness form in him… Incurable. What was a bright, caring boy turned sour. He didn't care for the forest no longer and was incredibly lonely-"

The man stopped, seeing the now slumbering children in the tent. There were some, still fighting it off, but with a final last-ditch effort, they too felt their eyes become too heavy to handle. It was surprising both how long they lasted and how little he resumed to lull them to sleep. He stood before leaving. He had much to do in the war.

Many years after the corruption of darkness in Rhys, he became fully grown. He didn't talk to the animals or the trees, uncaring of what they had to say now. He needn't worry about the withering of his home because of the humans.

He felt as if he was so desperately longing for a friend, but a storm was inside him. Cursing and angry that talking to anything and anyone wasn't right, aggression coursing through his veins of self-isolation that he half bothered to tend to.

Even still, he couldn't be bothered with the longing in his chest as he gazed upon the man that held a spear to his throat.

Rhys eyes were fixated on the hidden man with a faux interest to try and mock and pretend to be normal. The God in front of him, though, wasn't convinced.

"Hybrid mortal, one has trespassed into the lands of Adeptus," his voice was stern and heavy, not to mention how guarded and professional it was. As if he was preparing for any reaction from the mysterious stranger.

Regardless of the beginnings of the war, Rex Lapis knew this… Being in front of him was no threat. The smell of anger and resentment was radiating off him, but none towards the God himself. The smell had soaked the winged man's very being. It was confusing and made Red Lapis ponder why this man was hiding such emotions as the smell had been resonating in this one's body for years.

Rhys sighed, eyes devoid of interest and positivity of any kind as he boredly looked around. "Is that where I am?" He mused lazily. "Caring for a thought, god?" The hybrid chuckled and shook his head. "I am Rhys of Sumeru. No mortal blood runs in my veins, worm. Don't insult me with pathetic lowness of mortality." The man glared with ice in his eyes, the spear doing nothing to push back the attitude.

If he had met the God under the pretense of before the withering, perhaps fear and respect would be present. Or perhaps pride in being considered a resilient creature such as a mortal.

The little girl, whose mother had died not even 3 weeks ago, gasped out. "Rhys would totally get defeated by Rex Lapis!"

Another child, a boy this time, turned to look at the other. A mixture of surprise, mock confusion, and disagreement on his face stared at her as if she grew 3 heads. "Are you kidding me? Nuh uh, Rhys would smash any God, right? He has wings!!!" He turned to his new friend with a smile, happy he agreed as well.

Thus began an entertaining debate of which of the higher beings would win, making the cloaked man laugh. "Now, children, what do you think the god said next?" He questioned, curious about what they thought.

"I think he's gonna get mad!" Other children agreed with the speaker.

"Oh? Why do you think that?" He smiled.

A hum of coyness was played by the kid, "wellll, I wouldn't like it if someone was that rude to me! My mama told me not to!" Cue puffed-out cheeks.

"Well, that's very true. One should not be disrespectful, but what this God did may surprise you, dear children. Now listen up…"

The God raised an eyebrow and withdrew his blade. He held it within Rhys' vicinity to not play games as he observed the man with a newfound purpose. "You are a cursed being, are you not?"

Rex Lapis could tell. Of course, he could. The cause may have been long gone from the man's body, but the effects were staining the reality of being. It was a curious infection to cause such death of personality to the point of no return, even turning what was to the complete opposite. It wasn't something to take lightly.

For once, since the two began this interaction, the winged man showed surprise and anguish. "You would be correct." He sighed.

Rex Lapis tilted his head, the hood still hiding the mass proportion of his face. "And what caused that, might I inquire?" The true intentions being hidden from the other, an inquiry though, wasn't what Rhys wanted. A mysterious being, in his business, wasn't on his agenda.

The familiar anger burned like a bright reborn flame as the question settled in his ears. Rhys didn't know this man. He didn't know what he wanted, nor what he would even do with that information. He was a trespasser, and someone who could pose a threat to both mortals and gods alike, this couldn't be amicable.

The darkness curled and snarled, perhaps hissing in the ear of the man. Reminding him of the reality that owns him.

"Why so friendly, God?" Rhys' eyes turned threateningly as he backed up a few paces and crossed his arms. "One has no business to discuss this with you. I will begone." The man forced his body to leave the area through the power of his wings. The feathers dripped onto the ground as they carried Rhys towards the way of the unknown.

Rhys couldn't help the wariness he felt towards anyone. The feeling of distance was both soothing and burdensome. An inescapable death of eternity. Perhaps that was what his creator had wanted for him, to be lost and cursed as he could only long for what he couldn't have. Even now, he wished his mind would allow him to care enough to make a friend, to turn around, and beg the God to allow friendship to form from the roots of rock. Even worship him just to get a fraction of love.

Perhaps that was what his creator meant to happen when casting him aside once the withering took hold of his bones and skin.

"Noooo… why did he leave? They were supposed to be friends!" Whined a girl, unfazed by the quite literally death encounter between the two in the story.

Between their harsh exchange, it was confusing as to why she formed the thought that they would become friends.

Her brother sighed dramatically, "Honestly, Rhys is a meanie. Why can't he just… I don't know! Ask for help? Can't the God get rid of the um… uhhh…."

"Curse?"

"Yes, the curse!" The children looked over for answers as the elder softly chuckled, a bit awkward but still liking the interest the kids displayed. Happy they weren't paying attention to the gruesome circumstances they were in.

He sighed with a smile, "Well, the Withering was hungry. It was so hungry to live that it decided to eat what was precious to Rhys. His happiness, love, and passion. His personality. It made it so deep that even with help, nothing would bring what he used to be back." The kids gave a sound of acknowledgment. "So, when there wasn't much happiness left, what was left?" He asked, raising his palms upwards to inquire about an answer.

"Sadness!"

He snapped his fingers, accidentally causing a mountain to crack in the distance, and pointed to the answer. "Yes! But also all the other negative emotions. Yet, unknowingly to Rhys, there was enough left. Just barely enough for only one other person. One friend. That one friend would be like a cure. An addiction. Someone that with a mere touch could bring forth good, and happy feelings back.

Now, my little travelers, when you get stressed and you just want to rest or eat, who would you go to?"

A boy raised his hand, and when urged to answer, he did, his voice soft and carrying to all the little one's hearts. "My dad..!" Many of the orphans nodded, still feeling the pang of pain from the memories of the screams of terror and tender moments of what they used to have. When life was simple.

"Yes, your parents. Or guardians. They tend to you and make sure you're comfortable. Safe. Well, Rhys didn't have that anymore-"

A timid girl copied the boy, raising her hand to interrupt the man.

"Yes?"

"W-Would… Wo…. Would that m-make you ou-our gua-guard-... guardi-.." The little girl had been birthed with the incapability to speak well like the other children, yet the man in front of her waited patiently, knowing to wait for her. As if he didn't have anything to do but wait for her to know the words, how to form them. So safe, it brought many of the children to tears. The thought of having someone for them even after the deaths of their family caused such depression.

The man stood and walked to the orphans, holding them and rocking as many as he could in his arms. His heart softly broke at the display of such broken and damaged youths. He wished he could do more. The hiccups of such despair, and he could only hush and pray this war ends with his victory. That he could protect his people, bringing much-needed peace and closure.

"Take your time, my children. For no matter how long you take, I will be waiting patiently for you to walk, for your words to find you. If you ever need help, I can promise to find you and tell you the stories of old." He promised. "I will be there guiding you, even if you have no one else."

The girl found her voice, "Are you our g-guardian?"

"Yes, child. And I promise to find you a home and be there for you." He soothed and whispered sweetly.

Hiccups came from the children from how heavily they despaired and the true reality of how cruel this war was, no matter how much he remembered the very story he was telling and the ending that taught him a thousand lessons.

Rex Lapis wouldn't allow anyone else to be taken from these children, like how someone else had been taken from him.

"Let us continue, shall we?" He choked back the tears forming in his heart, as it was breaking by the day.

There were some nods, but to continue calming them all down and keep them quiet from the gods wishing them harm, he would have to continue anyway.

Rhys felt something was off. It wasn't the same feeling when he felt like prey or being hunted. The feeling was more abstract and felt like he was going insane from how he didn't understand where or why it felt like someone was watching him.

He made it back to Sumeru days prior, and all was well until he woke up this morning. It wasn't like many mortals were coming by and observing him, and even if they did, Rhys knew how to make quick work of disappearing or noticing them. Outsiders that hadn't lived in his forest for as long as he had wouldn't stand a chance from his observations.

A single twig snap, even if it was several feet away, he could hear it. The rustling of bushes, trees, leaves, any abnormality, he would be notified.

He hated being observed like some lab rat, yet why couldn't he find the cause of this feeling this time? No matter how many tricks he pulled, he couldn't catch the stalker in the act.

It frustrated him to no end until he finally had enough at the end of the day.

The sun was setting, and Rhys had just finished, quite angrily, making a campfire and roasting some food, all while mentally preparing himself. Of course, he didn't want to admit it, but he would assume that this feeling was from the very same god he encountered before. He just had a gut feeling that couldn't be shaken that whatever burning sensation of stares in the back of his head was from the very same he met just a few days ago.

The God probably intended to wait until he had lowered his guard, maybe thinking that whatever feeling this was all in his head, then pounced. Well, he can't say that's not what he would do either.

"If you're just going to watch, you better get used to never having an opening until the end of days." Rhys glowed with anger, his eyes slightly shaking from the number of emotions he was feeling that couldn't be described as anything pretty. "So either show yourself or I'm going to hunt you." He impatiently took a big bite out of his food and glared at whichever direction of the forest. Any being in the forest knew that being hunted by Rhys, meant no return.

A single branch snapping was all it took for Rhys to puff out his wings, surrounding himself in a protective flaunt. Not only to make himself appear bigger but to warn the person, he was aware of their every movement.

The same god as before, Rex Lapis, stepped from the shadows of the forest. His face was now illuminated entirely by the fire, giving a gold-like filter over him. It was hypnotizing for Rhys as a dumbfounded look spread across his face.

Rex Lapis had no weapon, no hostility, and above all else, a hunger in his eyes that screamed an unknown emotion. "One assumed you knew where I was all along." He smiled, watching as the man across the fire was just as on guard, if not more.

"I could feel your gaze," Rhys responded simply. "Now, what do you want?"

"I wish to inquire about your curse and heritage. And also, to offer a contract."

"And did Rhys answer?"

"Oh, yes. He did. Quite truthfully, actually. It was a wonderful encounter for both as the darkness in Rhys accepted the divinity of Rex Lapis and slowly lessened its hold. Their contract was beneficial to each other. Rex Lapis needed a one-man army, and Rhys needed a friend." The cloaked man answered, gazing at the children as they walked and walked.

Their feet were burdened by sores and blisters from the number of terrains they had wandered so far. Any time the children took a break, the man soothed their pain as best as he could. Any means he tried, though, would ultimately result in more wounds on their feet from the long and tremulous walk.

"And then what- ow! Happened next? I'm okay!" The boy responded instantly once the man had become attentive to the sudden ounce of pain.

Through the skillful work of bandages on the heel, the man continued, "Hm. It was most curious indeed. Rhys felt his burden become lighter when around the God, and eventually sought him out when the anger or loneliness became too much… And Rex Lapis began to be the same. Longing more and more, even without the contract."

A girl helped her cousin up and stabilize the swaying child before the elder stepped in and took the sick one in his arms. "S-So, Rhys was good? All better?" She questioned, trailing after him while clutching onto the loose part of his clothing near his leg.

"Well, sadly no, children. But, luckily, Rhys had Rex Lapis, and Rex Lapis had Rhys." For a little while, at least, the man held his tongue to that information. "Rhys was truly just for the God to see and experience. He was very much the same, but with his god friend, it was as if only then could he feel happiness."

"And what of Rex Lapis? Did he begin to like Rhys more?" They gasped, "Do they like each other? Like, like-like?" The child started to skip in their walk while imagining the possibility. This tale was intoxicating to listen to.

The children didn't notice the stuttering step in their guide's walk, nor the brightening cheeks on his face as he cleared his throat. "W-Well, Rex Lapis… was also attached to Rhys, but listen, dear children… This war we currently are in. It was just starting then. Rex Lapis did like Rhys and enjoyed his lovely quiet company, but…" He sighed as the memories of the one he swore not to lose passed through his eyes. "Rex Lapis did Like-Like Rhys. But not at first, I bet you could tell." He smiled sadly when he heard the children laugh. "They drank tea together, hunted with one another, and in wartime, Rhys became the warrior the god wished for. More, than that, Rhys became the object of Rex Lapis' affections." He continued to describe their day-to-day antics, connection, and even the tiniest things that most would have forgotten to mention.

One of the older kids spoke up, "So wait… If Rhys was a hybrid… Bird… Did he, uh, make nests?" He gave an incredulous look.

The man laughed loudly, "Actually, yes. Quite an interesting question." The man shook his head, thinking. "Rhys was said to be a descendant of a mighty being. One is not quite reaching divine Godhood, but close. So Rhys being a child of such a being would make sense he wasn't quite mortal nor God. Wouldn't you say?" He mused both to himself and the children.

"So, the two become the best of friends?"

"Duh! The two liked each other!"

Rex Lapis smiled before being reminded of quite the definition of friendship between him and Rhys.

Pants and groans filled the air as the two got fed up with the intense amount of pressure between the two. Fighting for dominance all the more, until one of them finally got the upper hand. Rhys leaned down in his ear as he shifted to finally make his god feel so full, "Care for a thought?... I'm going to ruin you. Worship you until you feel dizzy and know I'm your favorite devoted follower. I'll ruin our friendship."

"Y-Yes… Before they began their… Partnership, that is." He coughed a bit, awkward at the memory at such an inappropriate timing. Luckily, his body didn't react too strongly to the reminiscence.

A child quickly skipped ahead, being beside the guide now. She glanced up and had a nervous face, "S-So, what happened?"

The man could tell what the underlying question was, and it honestly soothed him slightly that as happy as everyone was to listen to their new favorite story, there was something that went wrong. There had to be. The emotions of sadness radiated off of the man every time he subtly mentioned that such moments between the friends did not last. Children were so perceptive. Their high-strung emotions aided in detecting the smallest changes even the cloaked man couldn't hide.

"Rhys' curse brought upon many who sought him harm, and thus, he met his demise at the hands of mortals. It was said that he would return one day, but… a curse befell the winged man. The two shall never seek each other purposefully. For if they did not, finding one another by themselves would bring the demise upon Rhys once more." He sighed, depressed at such a fate. "Many were jealous of the power Rex Lapis and Rhys had combined, so they cursed them to never intentionally seek one out."

"W-Well, what about us?!" A boy yelled out.

"Yeah! If we find both of them and bring them together, everything will be okay, right? They-... They can have each other again!"

A chorus of confirmation from each child, they were all feeding each other off of hope and determination to have the two once again meet.

"Listen, children. It is noble of you to hope to rejoin these two lost lovers, but… Rhys is no longer living. He shall be reborn, but I am unsure it will be… in… in your lifetime." He attempted.

Yet he was already too late to try to falter their plans.

This tale was woven into their minds now, weaving and spinning like an addictive hopeful drug that they desired to make come reality.

In their time of need, they found comfort in their God and a being lost to time and blood, just like all of their loved ones. It would be cruel and unjust for the God, as mighty as he is, to live on without his happiness forever as well. Perhaps that, too, is the karma they deserve once the war is concluded.

The children promised each other in a contract under Rex Lapis' name that night. The winds were untouching as the tent secured them tight, and the man outside unhearing as they swore this future would happen. May it be one life or a thousand, the children promised to pay back their unforeseen and unknowing parents by bringing them back. After all, the curse never said that an outside party couldn't bring them together.

The dinner plates clicked as the orphans glanced at nothing in particular. The spaces between each other in their seats, the cutlery that was rusting, anything but talking. What did they have to talk about anyways?

All their ages ranged, and they didn't know how to relate to one another. Some newcomers were new orphans, so that meant no talking about their pasts, who wanted to console a sobbing kid when they were all crying on the inside? Some were siblings or cousins, they stuck alongside, simply finding comfort by being next to each other. Others were tortured by nightmares long after being an orphan. So, they were left to idly glance at each other, never meet another's eyes, and be awkward.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Some used to have parents, some here since birth, how can they have anything relating to one another other than being alone?

The Rite of Descension was upon them in two days, so they could easily avoid each other then, but until that time, everyone was for themselves.

"Alright, children, off to bed." There were no protests, not even a sigh, as they stood from their chairs and began to walk up the stairs. Girls to one half, boys to another. To sleep for hopefully, dreams and not nightmares.

But that night wasn't going to show dreams, but memories.

"Gather around children, I will tell you a tale lost long to time."

Screams in the background.

"Rhys had beautiful wings. They were bigger than me!"

"Please, Mr. M,"

"Mr. M!"

"Yes, your parents. Or guardians."

'They-... They can have each other again!"

"We promise to bring the two lovers back."

Gasps came from the waking children as they scurried out and looked into each other's eyes.

All of them knew what this meant. Every single one of them met at just the right time, right before Rex Lapis came down their only chance. Their memories came back in this lifetime meant,

Rhys was back.

They nodded at each other with smiles and tears going down their cheeks. The eldest kid among them, a girl, smiled and gave a determined nod. "Let's make a plan. We only have so long!" She said excitedly.

The kids nodded and ran off to get anything they would need. Any scrape of Mora they had, coming together as they set out for the materials.

They came together, "This plan, I call GTCR! Get-The-Couple-Reunited!" The kids laughed and ruffled the boys' hair as they sat on the creaky wooden floor and got to work.

The dull talks of Liyue made Y/n sigh boredly. None were of interest to him, not like they were ever, but at least sometimes they provided drama and entertainment. Today? Nothing.

There was Madam Ping, who often talked of the flowers, that was talking to some poor bystander, and wasn't paying much attention to him as he desired some entertainment. Any, really. Some teenagers were kissing in the alley close to him, his heightened hearing granting (cursing) him to hear the disgusting sounds of their beginner lip-smacking. Lastly, of course, a few adults were talking about Rex Lapis on the bench.

Playing mortal was quite fun at times. The audacity they display unknowingly in Y/n presence, and even their hilariously pitiful hopes and dreams.

It makes him laugh.

How insipid they could be at times.

"You have a nasty scowl on your face Y/n." The old lady scolded as she walked back over to him, hands behind her back.

He glared up at her with such malice it would cause anyone to think he wanted her dead. Not that Y/n could help it. Hatred and anger came easily, happiness and relief, less so.

Madam Ping reached forward and pinched the flesh on his cheeks and began to play with it with laughter as his face turned even sourer. "Such a handsome young man shouldn't be seen with such a foul face." She smiled and let him go finally.

"Can I go now?" He dismissed her words, focusing on the pavement as if it owed him money.

The madam laughed and shook her head playfully as she went to the stall and began to search for something. Y/n felt dread build in his stomach as a headache began to form at her meaningless words.

"...-this to Granny Shan, near-"

"I know who she is, hag. Shut it. I have a headache." Y/n scowled, standing up and taking the toy materials from Madam Ping before rubbing his face exhaustedly.

Madam Ping gave a worried face to the man. "Rhys-"

The fire that had been dormant sparked for a moment, almost showing the immortal blood coursing through his body. "What have I told you?-"

"Slip of the tongue, now shush child.

Y/n," she corrected, "Perhaps you should rest. Hibernate, perhaps? You haven't found anyone to break the curse, and… And Rex Lapis hasn't been seen since last year. Maybe you sho-"

"I do not care for how long it takes me. I shall be reunited with my Archon."

"You've given enough. You helped us win the war. Even in death, your very soul influenced the tides. You may rest, even if it hurts, as the help you've given us is unfounded." She whispered, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Sheltering, attempting to at least, for whatever bad thoughts he was undoubtedly forming.

Y/n brushed her off and gave a fiery look directed at her. On cue, she felt the sheer fire behind that look, the burning of power he held at his fingertips. He wasn't even attempting to use his ability. The fake vision swung on his person with little care.

It made her wonder how he hasn't reached godhood, and how strong he would be as a god if even with a mere look, and his very presence while deaf could make mortals scream. She continued to ponder as she watched his retreating form.

Granny Shan was always nice to Y/n. When he had been reborn again in this life, she had technically raised the devil. Assuming the child, which was a grown ancient being in a toddler, was an orphan and took him in.

He wasn't… Terrible to the old lady. Never great or even that good, but compared to many, he wasn't.. bad. Y/n was secretly, deep down, relieved that Granny Shan knew that too. That his cruel behavior was never intensively directed toward her. It doesn't excuse his hostility, but she didn't mind. The old hag told him so multiple times, somehow knowing he was worried deep down.

"Hey, woman, I got you some shit from the Madam." He gruffly said, going behind her stall and placing the supplies on the table. The old woman smiled and waddled over to the man and began to look at everything he brought over.

"Ah! This is perfect…" She grinned, "I'll be able to make much more kites. Y/n, won't you be a dear and help me make some?" By the words of the old lady, the man scowled and had pure malicious words at the back of his throat, the swirling darkness causing him to cough and try not to say anything. He wanted to curse her out, to walk away and tell her to do it herself, anything to keep her from getting close.

If only he had-

"... Whatever." He mumbled roughly, walking near the stand, swallowing the urge.

He's done it for decades, he can handle it surely for a while more.

"Now then, in a little, the Rite of Descension will be finished, and the festival will begin." The old woman rambled to both him and herself, beginning to make the kites and other toys. "There will be a few kids coming here to get some toys." He hummed absent-mindedly as he matched the woman's movements.

"The Rite of Descension? That's today?" He asked, sadness creeping into his bones. "I didn't… Realize." No wonder those adults were talking about Rex Lapis. He was so absorbed in his head lately, that he didn't realize the most important and crucial day was almost already done.

Granny Shan had pieced together that her adopted son wasn't like any of the other children, and eventually, when he never aged past a certain time, she figured he was something inhuman. She, too, could feel the unbridled power lying beneath the mortal skin, a pathetic layer to hide the ruthless power, so perhaps it was only a matter of time before she figured it completely out.

She smiled and handed him a part he needed, "Indeed. Time flies." She sighed happily, choosing to ignore the expression Y/n gave. Knowing he wouldn't answer anyways.

The man paused and looked up at the sky, knowing somewhere he missed him again.

"Pst!"

Y/n furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down and around the area confusedly, before coming up empty and going back to his work.

"Pst!" The voice whispered a little time after.

He sighed and once again looked around, this time more frustrated and honestly wanting whoever was making that noise to stop.

"Pst! Over here!"

He glanced at Granny and when he realized she hadn't been paying attention, even worse, that she was zeroed in on her project, he knew that he would have to solve this himself.

With a final, annoyed sigh, he began to walk over to where he heard the whisper.

Maybe he was getting rusty. Back in his younger years, he could smell a creature's intention just by them being slightly near. The tiniest emotions were detected in an instant. Now, he had to hunt them down first?

What a drag.

"Pst! Yeah! Over here!" Y/n now figured it was a child, and as he walked past a building, looking behind it, he figured out that it wasn't just one child, it was more than 10. All ranging in age up to what seemed to be nine years old. The one who was whispering to him had a missing front tooth, about eight years old, he would guess, rough-cut ginger hair, and dirty clothes.

"The hell you want kid?" Y/n crossed his arms. His eyes squint slightly to show annoyance even though he didn't necessarily feel any at this moment.

Surprisingly.

There wasn't any fear, nervousness, or even intimidation from any of the children as they whispered to one another.

"Is that him?" "Could it be..?" "Are you sure?" "I didn't expect him to be so tall!" "What are you talking about? He said Rhys was taller than him!" "Yeah, but where are his wings?" "Maybe we got it wrong?" "No way! Look at his eyes!" "He looks just like the legends."

"All right, shut the hell up brats. Now, what do you want?"

"He has the attitude too…"

He sputtered, confusion swirling and making him almost dizzy. "The hell you talking about?!" His annoyance came back as shock officially registered when the brat felt the gall to tell him he had an attitude.

One of the little girls went to another and grabbed a scroll, which, definitely looked stolen. She unfurled it and waddled over and showed it to Y/n. His eyes cautiously slid to the paper which showed a winged man, him, hovering above mountains as Rex Lapis raised a hand for his spears. "I-I-Is-Is thi-this y-y…" He waited, his face saying he was bored but not minding the wait, this seemed to cause a stir around the children that 'it is him.' "Y-You?" She points to the winged man.

"So what if it is?" Y/n gruffly said.

"Rhys!" "It is him!" "I told you!" "We've dreamed of meeting you!" "Quick, we have to hurry!" "Just wait for a second, jeez!" "Why didn't you come to see us?" "Maybe he was busy?" "Wait! Sir!" One boy that had originally opposed the idea of Y/n being the ancient being raised a hand.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Wait a second kid. I don't care for your yapping, but I am not Rhys anymore." Y/n glared at no one in particular but he managed their attention with ease. As if they wanted to listen to him with those puppy eyes.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Some kids also whispered and even seemed so disheartened.

Y/n sighed and straightened his back. It wasn't like anyone would believe these snotty, gross, possibly orphaned kids. "It's just as you said, brat. I don't have wings anymore." He turned his back to show the hollow carving of where his wings were supposed to be, the shirt he was wearing barely doing anything to hide it.

"B-But, how?!"

"I don't know how you heard about me," some of the kids' eyes sparkled like they were dying to tell him, "but you should've learned of my curse and first death." They nodded. "Humans captured me, took my wings forcibly, and I eventually died from blood loss. When I was reborn, and all the lives after, including this one, they didn't grow back." He shrugged.

The kids took a moment to glance around at one another and even whisper to the closest one near them. They sighed before getting that determined look back into their eyes. "Well, whatever! You are Rhys aren't you?"

"Yes..?"

Instantly they grabbed ahold of any limb, or loose clothing, and began pushing and pulling him in a direction. "Mission; GTCR, Part 3, Get New Rhys-"

"Y/n."

"-Y/n, complete! Now on to Part 4! Is Group B doing their part good?" A little girl running from the distance with an older girl in tow quickly joined the tuggers and nodded with a thumbs up.

Y/n felt extremely uncomfortable and borderline sickly as he didn't want to go anywhere with these kids. He had to get back and help Granny Shan, not play with these kids and help with whatever they were scheming. They knew his real identity, and even though he told himself that no adult or older person would believe them, there were too many to deny they could be telling the truth. Fuck.

He grunted after the two girls joined in the pulling as he limblessly followed them. "Is no one going to tell me what is going on?!" Y/n called out, looking around for any of them to tell him.

"Nope! I'm good. Do you wanna Hiroko?" A boy said.

"Uh," she glanced at Y/n with a cautious face, "I didn't think he'd be so scary! How did he even be able to look at him?!"

"Hey!" Y/n almost sounded wounded.

"How about you Asashi.?"

"Um, nope, not me either..? Yuki?"

"Just one of you tell me what the hell is going on or else I will actually try to walk away." The children squeaked, knowing that trying meant using any amount of strength.

Yuki, the stuttering kid, shook her head and looked pleadingly at one of the older ones, a boy, and gave a weak smile to him.

The boy sighed and nodded as he tugged Y/n's finger once more. "We are finishing a contract we made… a while ago." He mumbled at the end, obviously not wanting to tell the full story.

Y/n faked gasping, mock happiness and glee on his face as he dramatically spoke, "And that answers all my questions! Thank you soooo much."

"Add, 'Didn't know he was so sarcastic' to that list."

"Oh, you little sh-"

Y/n was cut off by the tallest kids covering his mouth and eyes as they quickly began to make him sit down at a certain point, hidden by the shadows.

"Keep your eyes closed!" "Don't move!" "No, this is how you do this." "Ohh…" "M-M-Mak-M-Make sur-sure h-he is-is-is good f-f-f-for h-him." "We are, thank you, Yuki!" "I think the other team is dressing him as well." "R-Real-l-ly?" "Aw, lucky!" "I wish I got to do that.." "What colors did they decide?" "You'll see!"

The muffled protests of Y/n were quite ignored as they began to put on a certain type of clothing on him, wrapping him up like a present in those clothes, and even tidying up his hair.

He can't believe he was allowing this. No, change that, Y/n can't believe what was happening. Wait, what even was happening? Just… a grown-ass man, that has abilities beyond the mortal mind, is getting bullied and forced to do this? Is he even being forced?

Eh, not really. More boredom and laziness spurring this on.

"Alright done!" They pulled away from him and he looked down to see what they did, he was quietly impressed. They had put on a layer of festival clothes over his thin normal wear. The colors were deep and bold, celebrating the colors of Rex Lapis in his Adeptus form. Oranges and reds, highlights of bright golden yellow, and of course, a dark and rich chocolate brown as the base. He looked like was one of Rex Lapis' worshippers.

Y/n smiled, showing his pride in being a loyal devotee to the god who made his heartache.

He sighed and stood up, turning and looking over every spot while all the kids stayed quiet and watched him. They looked eager and hopeful. Perhaps they wanted praise. "It looks…" some leaned in a bit closer, overjoyed they noticed a strained smile on his face. "Fine." He finished with possibly the most effort he could afford.

They cheered and sighed with relief as they began to congratulate each other. "Wait, I merely said that it was fine. You don't… want something more?" More appropriate praise? Actual praise deserving of what they had done to him?

"No it's okay Mr. Y/n, we already knew about your curse! I'm sorry the bad thing ate your happy emotions."

"W-What.?" He asked, not understanding what she meant by that, but was quickly caught off guard when the children promptly grabbed hold of him yet again and began pushing and pulling. Y/n let out an exhausted sigh but followed along with their antics begrudgingly.

They talked to him happily and even though their little waddles to get him somewhere were taking a while, he permitted conversation. They seemed delighted regardless of how dry and dismissive he was.

They asked about what his past lives were like, what he was doing now, and even what he was doing for work. For such tiny and young kids, they sure were nosy. He told them of his time in Inazuma in one life, two more in his homeland Sumeru, a few in Snezhnaya (he found out there, tropical beings should not go to a winter-fucking-wonderland), some in Liyue, and his previous one in Fontaine. Oh, and one in the middle of nowhere. Probably Natlan.

He didn't tell them how he had died horribly in each, too impatient to wait until the curse was broken to see Morax, which, ultimately, led to his demise in each life.

Y/n noticed they dragged him almost everywhere in Liyue before another girl came up, paused, and looked at him before nodding. This sent all the little one's into a frenzy as they began to practically haul his ass away, once again. This time, Y/n had a tiny smile on his face directed at the children.

"Operation GTCR in motion!" The kids laughed and shook their heads.

Y/n noticed they began to shake with excitement as they began reaching their destination. A grand tree stands in the center of the plane of land, a lake coursing through with a bridge crossing it.

Asashi gestured for Y/n to lean down and purely out of curiosity he did. "Now!" The children tackled him and began ruthlessly covering his sight with a blindfold, tying his wrists with rope, and making sure no one would hear the bewildered noises the ancient being made.

Soon, he was standing where he presumes was under the tree, alone. Ever since his sight and wrists were bound, he had to rely on the noises surrounding him. No children, no footsteps, no breathing other than his own, and no animals scurrying about. That was what was odd. After living in the forest for a good portion of growing up, noises were always a good sign. Lack of it meant there was a predator near.

If he had to sit here and pretend to be an innocent person that just got jumped, he would. Purely to not have to work with Granny Shan and be uncomfortable selling toys to people.

"... this way!" "Please keep your eyes closed!" "Careful, watch this step."

Wow, and they were so rude to him but whoever they were making him play fucking tea party with, they treat them like they were fragile and royal? They shoved him multiple times! He probably had a bite mark somewhere!

"Where are-" "Shhh!" The kids chided, all of them desperately trying to hush the man's voice. Y/n knew that voice, somewhere. His ears shifted to attempt to detect the tiniest details about the newcomer, his hands squirming with nerves and restlessness. The children seemed to notice the hybrid's sudden attention shift, quietly praying once they did. Knowing he was trying to hear where he knew that voice from.

The children quickly moved and set up something in front of Y/n and quickly backed away. Confusion crossed his face once more as his eyebrows furrowed and started to reach out to the quickly leaving kids. "W-Wait where-" "Shhhh!!" They covered his mouth and he felt the man in front of him shift as if he recognized, or thought he sounded familiar, him as well. This energy as well, something was screaming at Y/n to remember.

"Alright!" A girl called, really far away, "you can take off your blindfold Mr. M!" Y/n felt even dizzier at who was in front of him, this all was baffling and confounds even him. Mr. M? He doesn't know any fucker by that. And here he was thinking he knew who this M guy was.

There was slight shuffling from the man before a tiny gasp before what Y/n can assume was a hand covering his mouth.

"Alright, what is going on?" Y/n growled out, starting to get seriously frustrated. He picked up on a tearful, almost mournful chuckle, before feeling his cheek get cupped by a hand. Y/n instinctively flinched away but before he could spit colorful words that would surely cause some looks, the agony that haunted every waking moment washed away at the graze of touch from the person in front of him. Y/n had never felt anything like it other than when his skin touched Rex Lapis. That tiny touch was euphoric and made him want to cry and cry with relief.

His heart started to race and pound in his chest as he desperately grabbed the hand that started to pull away and place it back on his face. His breath came out heavy as the overwhelming feeling of love, happiness, hope surged through him like a wave. That one touch made him nearly faint, this consistent hold made the hybrid forget everything. His name was forgotten, all of them, all the moments he wished he could erase, was erased, only this. This was everything. Living was purely for this. "Fuck… Don't move." He mumbled, a whimper at the end of his tone. The whines of loneliness in his heart went away the slowest, but as if being called like a moth to a flame, it not so slowly disappeared.

The man in front of him chuckled and placed his other hand on the side of his face and began to softly stroke the skin beneath his fingers with his thumbs. Even without sight, he knew.

"... My Archon," Y/n whispered affectionately, voice breaking at the end. Confirming it out loud was something else entirely. Shattering.

The Geo Archon chuckled, "Haven't I told you not to call me that?" He whispered back, noticing the sudden change of demeanor of Y/n.

Mr. M meant Morax. Fucking hell. His god. His Archon. His entire heart and those tiny little fucks knew it. Planned this entire thing. He is the god's most loyal follower, his muse to late-night activities, and yet he was ashamed, ashamed he couldn't realize it instantly it was him simply by the sounds of his breathing. His footsteps. Even if it had been years since his most recent past life, he should've known.

A sigh escaped Y/n as he lifted his wrists to show he wanted out of his confinement. He could criticize himself later, all that mattered now was showing his god his devotion. "Please?"

Morax sighed, albeit a bit shaky, "I can't remember the last time you said please, even in my presence."

"..." Getting no usual snide response out of Y/n, Rex Lapis gazed down and looked at the bound wrists and smiled. The limbs were shaking to be free, yet even at the terrible tie, and is completely capable of snapping the rope, Y/n restrained from doing so. He needed his god to slowly touch and maneuver the material, all to let him be free. It was subtly one of the more endearing things he's done for Morax.

Rex Lapis finished untying the restraints and just as he did so, the rope barely even beginning to fall, Y/n enraptured the Archon in a bone-crushing, desperate hug that shattered both of their hearts. Reunited at last. Forever this time. "Rhys?" Still, though, the Archon was shocked by his loving display.

"Damn those sneaky kids." He would have to invite all of them to dinner and let their little bellies be filled with the finest food before finding them the nicest, best homes. Even then, they would always have a home wherever Morax and he would go.

"They did complete their contract." The God whispered back, slowly undoing the piece of cloth hindering the hybrid's eyes, knowing what would happen when they got home, once he let the man take in the view. Moraxs' hair was prettily made up by the girls and boys, clothing matched the color of fire that was always dancing in Y/n's eyes, a sign of his true form, that beautiful intense red. Even the red and orange flowers in Morax's hair. All for his future husband.

Y/n opened his eyes as soon as the cloth got an inch away, blessing both of them with each other. "You should know, my love, I got by Y/n now…" He murmured, brushing away with his thumb a stray tear on Morax's face.

A hum came from Rex Lapis, "When on leave, I tend to go by Zhongli Xiansheng." On leave? How cute.

"That'd mean I'd be Y/n Xiansheng." He bumped their foreheads together and began to rub them together lovingly. Like a cat.

Zhongli gave a surprised look as he looked up at the serene and lovestruck hybrid, "You wish… to marry me? So soon after seeing each other once again?" He whispered so quietly, even the children eavesdropping in the not-so-far distance couldn't hear.

Y/n gazed at every little detail on his boyfriend's face, "Certainly. Think of it as a contract. One that shall never be broken. I have been far too absent in our lives, and if it is alright with you, I'd rather not spend another minute separated for a long, long time." He closed his eyes. "I'd wake up screaming for years, decades after I left you all those times. Remembering constantly that I love you. My heart and my soul have been yours since the first contract, and being away even for a fraction of a second is too long and my body knows that. I think of you in every waking moment, wanting you to talk to me, to advise me, to command me, whatever the circumstances. I remember your delicious tea, and no matter how much I tried to imitate it, yours is the only thing I want. You'd lay with me under the stars and play with my wings, make me feel whole and me again. You complete me." He sighed, opening his eyes once again to see the crying Archon, "and if being hasty to marry you means we are one again, I would recommend being married right now. Only those little children are to be the witnesses to our… contract."

Zhongli tried and failed to speak, his heart thundering in his chest as he screamed yes, but the tears and emotions consumed him as he crumbled. Rhys, or Y/n, comforted him until the very last hiccup. Kissing away each tear and whispering 'I love you's' until he was ready to respond once more.

"Of course, my Y/n. You are not alone in your declaration. I've been yours ever since the beginning." He smiled and chuckled at the overwhelmingly relieved sigh from Y/n. "Were you honestly thinking I'd reje- Mmf!"

His words were shut down by the sudden kiss Y/n enforced, closing his eyes instantly yet smiling when he heard the 'ew's' and cheers from the children before hearing them all run off as they separated.

"So eager for me, and yet we haven't done anything." Morax teased.

"I think, even if you stood in the corner of a room, alone, I'd be just as eager."

"Is that so?"

A familiar smirk graced Y/n's face as he reached up, touching the colors of his old self on Zhongli. "Care for a thought, My Archon?"

He already knew what that dirty thought was, after all, it has been years.

He had barely been touched in the centuries following his lover's death. Morax, the feared and gruesome God in the war that had led hundreds of groups of grieving children, didn't necessarily like being touched. Specifically, he didn't like being touched after Rhys' passing. He had gathered the highest death toll compared to any other being and had that one crucial detail.

Centuries passed in a flash, and no matter how many times he attempted to resist touching himself, in fear of forgetting how much better Rhys did it, he somehow ended up biting one of his many pillows, sweat dripping down his back, pleasuring himself by vividly imagining it was his dead lover and lord, the effect that had on his body. Sometimes, rarely, when Morax was utterly desperate he would get rougher with himself. Those times felt so much like Rhys, he would be pleasuring himself for days, overstimulating himself to the max.

He would tug on his hair, his cock, even plow ruthlessly in his lonely hole, attempting to feel anything like how the hybrid made him feel. Sometimes, he could feel the ghost of a grip on his throat as his fingers imitated what should've been Rhys' dick.

What he wouldn't give to be ruined by his lover again. To have him yank at the gods body, manhandling him however he wants, to utter filth of worship and degradation directed to both of the desperate men.

Those were such delicious and sinful fantasies that left the archon crying on the pillow both in loyal love and desperation. Eager to be reunited.

Y/n, or Rhys, the one he had so desperately wished would pleasure his divine body, was now here. Taking a painfully long shower. Making 'Zhongli' writhe in the sheets, the very sheets he had coldly cuddled to Y/n's pillow and hump.

He never had the heart to get rid of it. Not when the tiniest bit of his smell still lingers.

The door of the bathroom opened and revealed the usual shameless attitude of his lover, Y/n had barely tried to hide his midsection with the tiniest towel. Zhongli never used said towel, too tiny, and had forgotten it existed, figures Y/n would find it.

He left this out with his story to the children, but considering Y/n had been raised by none other than the whispers of trees and animals, he never considered clothing a necessity. Or rather, he never considered it necessary when Morax was around.

With nimble fingers, Y/n quickly lost the towel and in silence began to analyze the growing size underneath the boxers of Zhongli. They both lost their clothes, tangled limbs scampering through the house before falling onto the bed, gasps of need escaping both but suddenly Zhongli was cold and missing his body on top of him.

Their separation does nothing to soothe the ache.

Y/n simply smiled and sent him to shower while he got the bed 'ready.' Ready meant, making the bed into a nest. Pillows and blankets, covered and dripping his scent after being deprived of it for years.

Then he went to shower, leaving his beloved lover squirming in the nest. Mere boxers that had soon been soiled.

Y/n tilted his head before his eyes began to blaze with fire at the view of the boner in between Morax's legs. "My dear, you look absolutely pitiful. Might I worship you?"

Zhongli wasn't unfazed by his words, the bottom of his lip wobbling with the anguish at filling this need. His head bobbed down in need, affirming he did want this. Not just wanted but needed. A requirement.

"Please." He whispered, eyelids lowering.

Y/n gave a soft smile instead of his usual smirk, before walking over. He climbed into their nest, careful not to disrupt his hard work of making it perfect for his fiance.

He would marry this man. He would be there for him forever and ever, even after the fall of Teyvat, even when they both ascended to Celestia. Anything. Anything for his beloved Archon. This nest was just the beginning of his devotion.

Now that the Y/n was relieved of the blasted curse, no more death and coming back just to wait until he could one day see his beloved one. He'd be staying right here, in his arms. If Morax told him to fuck off and never come back, he would bury himself and do just that. If he told Y/n to choke on his cock for hours, or days, he would warm his dick with his ready, wet mouth.

Y/n's warm body came in contact with Zhongli, heating the both of them instantly. So much so, that it felt like an inferno had lit their hearts on fire.

"First," the hybrid whispered, "I'll kiss every inch of your body, then my favorite, I'll kiss every part of your dick, to the point you're weeping for me." Each kiss would be a searing show of love and devotion. He began at the ankles, Zhongli's pretty little pale skin there, slowly working his warm lips up, and up. Calf to thigh, to the sensitive flesh that transferred his lips to his waist. The weeping dick between Morax's legs begging to be played with, but regardless of the tiny whimpers leaving his mouth, Y/n pretended not to hear. Moving to the other leg and beginning his sweet sugary torture there instead.

He needed to reinstate the memories of the touch he scarred on Morax's body anew. Have his scent on every corner of him, a proof of ownership, Y/n was his, and the same goes the other way around.

"P-Please," Zhongli whispered again, needier than before if that was possible. Watching Y/n slowly pleasure him in the tiniest way possible was making him dizzy.

His back slightly arched in anticipation all the more when a kiss was placed on his v-line. The tingling sensation going straight to the drip that slid agonizingly slowed down his rock-hard length. A whine escaped, loud and impatient to get onto the real pleasure from Morax, causing those pretty red eyes to slowly meet the God's eyes.

A shiver ran down both their spines.

"Archons, you're so pretty my love." His kisses continued, and the searing licks up his abdomen weren't too playful anymore. The eye contact persists the entire time while infecting his body. "Don't beg, my dearest love…

My heart, you won't ever have to beg for something from me…" The licks and kisses, sometimes a nip, continued as he finally got to his neck and handsome face. Their noses brushed as Zhongli pulled him up. Their lips grazed one another, bitten and red. Waiting for each other to devour.

"My Archon," Y/n whispered as his hand began to wrap securely around Zhongli's neck. Not for the breath play they love oh so much, which surely hasn't changed, but for acknowledgment he is here. And staying. "For it is I who would get on my knees and beg. Even if I ruin you."

"Y-You better get to work as I still hold my wits. I don't want you to beg, I wish for you to love me." His smooth voice rattled at the start but leveled soon after. Morax made a quick movement, grasping Y/n's chin and forcing him to watch helplessly as he spread his legs, moving them up to be perfect for the hybrid to place his hands under his ankles and destroy his insides. "It's been a while, love, I need your scent inside of me."

Y/n eyes began to glow a bright brilliant red in pure unparallel lust and want. His hand started to squeeze Morax's throat gently, reminding him not to act too bratty or hasty considering the hybrid was already trying to be tame as to fully enjoy this leisurely pace they were at. They may even be here for days before either one's desires are even remotely satisfied. Good thing none of the Adeptus or outsiders can enter this Adeptus realm without permission, for if they did after noticing Rex Lapis' and Rhys' sudden disappearance, they would surely have a sight. Their strongest Adeptus, Archon, and oldest being, on top of a cock he had been thirsting for. Such a sight Y/n wouldn't allow anyone the pleasure of besides himself.

Morax's hiccups of choked-up moans as he cries, his whines, his bounces, his thin little waist, all of it was for him only. Predatory instincts demanded their bodies to only be for each other.

"God, I want you so bad," Y/n mumbled, more to himself as he resumed his kisses of torture on the Archon. On his neck, collarbone, sternum, and stomach, before finally the tip of Zhongli's dick. "Imagining it isn't enough. Won't ever be enough.."

"Tell me," Morax whispered, wanting to know exactly what the man who was dying to suck his dick wanted, what he was daydreaming of.

A sigh escaped both of them as a lick up the underside came, before sucking at the drips of pre coming from the top. "I want to enjoy you. Again, and again… Enter you, and bring you bliss until you're satisfied. Imagined such a fantasy for years."

The God hummed pleasantly as he watched Y/n go back down as start pleasuring. He sighed, licking his lips as well. "I won't- hmm~ be sat- fuck! Be satisfied for quite a long time."

"I'll have to work hard then."

"It appears so.." he grunted, "then again, I imagine you won't be sated for a while either." The only noise confirming that suspicion was a deep throaty chuckle as Y/n parted his lips, opening his mouth for Morax's appendage, before plunging it down his throat. A gasp stuttered from Zhongli's lips before his back began to arch up and down as moans slipped from his tongue. It was so delightful that Y/n felt his hips automatically thrust in response.

Zhongli's eyes wandered down and noticed the issue that he so brazenly didn't hide. A weak smirk graced his face, which wasn't missed by the hybrid that was giving unworldly pleasure to him. Y/n's eyes sparkled with fire as he watched Morax get high off the power that Y/n relented to him. Such a powerful being at his face willing to do anything, as his hand clasped into his hair and began to guide. Y/n liked it, seeing the resolve of his god get heightened before getting destroyed when he realized his pleasure needed to be controlled.

He popped his mouth off Zhongli's cock and licked his lips greedily. Groaning at the pleasure. Morax shivered, furrowed his brows, and stared at the erotic scene. "How filthy. You shouldn't…"

"Shouldn't what, my dearest?" He purred, maneuvering Zhongli's body to lay on his stomach, ass in the air just right. "Hm~ Were you pleasuring yourself in that lonely shower?" Y/n glowed in satisfaction seeing the loose hole not even resist the slipping of his fingers. His tongue lulled out and dripped saliva all around the fluttering mess and ass.

Zhongli couldn't even talk as a wild blush came across his features and embarrassment corrupted his tongue, no longer capable of responding to the teasing words so Y/n continued.

"Did I excite you so? The kisses, the pulling at your waist." Two fingers were swallowed whole as he inserted them quickly. Hardly going slow. "You were oh-so eager for me, only to be disappointed when I pulled away. You knew we would be here for hours yet my Archon couldn't wait? Sticking your fingers up your little hole, trying so hard to stretch it…" he sighed happily when he noticed Morax squeeze his eyes closed, and start trembling at the beginning harsh thrusts of Y/n's fingers.

After pressing against his sweet spot with a powerful thrust, the squirming male squealed. He started to babble and lose his mind. "Aw, already? We haven't even started my beloved." The pyro vision user chuckled evilly.

"P-Please, Y/n-..." His handsome voice trailed off as once again, he was left trembling once he felt the utter tenderness, and love on the tiny pecks and kisses as his lover worked him open. His attention crumbled from what he was going to say and became absorbed in the smoothing touches of his precious fiancé.

Y/n slowed the temporarily quick pace of his fingers in exchange for an intimate pace. One that still made Zhongli shake.

"Need-Need to open you up-" He tried to rid the thoughts of rushing, which could cause Zhongli discomfort.

"N-No! Please! J-Just pleasure me, you said you were going to- Ah, fuck.. Said you were going to worship m-me..!" He eyed Y/n's pretty cock that had been dormant in any of his actions, yet still had an angry, desperate cherry-colored tip, and a sheen of pre at the top, no doubt from rubbing against the bed during their… antics.

Y/n nearly growled animalistically as he straightened up, moving Morax's limble body to be in a handsome mating press. The hybrid's instincts to breed screamed in his head as his mate lay in his nest, laying in a perfect mating press. Perhaps he could indulge that image in his head, Zhongli stuffed to the brim with his cum.

A huff from his god caused Y/n's attention to come back to reality, his cock twitching still at the image in his head, which didn't go unnoticed. A longing whine came from Morax as his hips lifted impatiently to get the hybrid tempted to just enter him already.

"I'm doing it my love, Archons, you look so pretty." He mumbled the last sentence as he moved swiftly to where the head of his dick was only slightly pressing against the entrance.

Zhongli's eyes glowed a brilliant gold as his hips thrust down, forcing Y/n to enter with a whine. Both gasped at the feeling of becoming one again. Their souls intertwined and twisted as a steady and smooth thrust came from Y/n, not stopping once until his pelvis met the flesh of his lover's ass.

Their collective groans echoed in each other's ears as Y/n leaned down and rested his elbows on either side of Zhongli's head. His face was buried in the God's neck as they both had to steady themselves at the buzzing feeling of reconnecting their bodies after centuries.

Y/n felt everything melt from his head and anything that had weighed and stressed him over the years washed away as he felt the delicious stretch, squeeze, and warmth of his god. He mumbled words of worship and prayer in Morax's ear, said man flinching before moaning and shaking at the tender words of endearment. Zhongli grabbed the messy hair buried in his neck and began to tug on it. A signal to start moving.

Y/n kissed all over his lover's face as he withdrew his hips. A whine of pleasure and pain rumbled in the back of the full man.

A sigh escaped both their lips as a tender and sweet pace began. It wasn't rushed or urgent yet, as they both had plenty of time to spare, but lingering bits of need still lasted as their eyes met. Quiet and peaceful moans escaped both their lips at the drag and warmth they gave each other.

The heat of being squeezed made Y/n dizzy with lust and appreciation.

And the agonizingly slow but delicious drag of the dominant man's cock sent the god into near delirium.

A whisper of adoration escaped the thrusting male before a mumble of an apology.

He withdrew everything in a mere fraction of a second before slamming into Zhongli. The sudden thrust caused everything sweet and kind from their thrusts before was shattered as skin harshly slapping on skin echoed, groans, gasps, and yelps coming from both of the men.

"O-Oh Rhys! Fuck..!" Morax called out the old name of his lover, forgetting everything as his heart thundered in his chest from the force of the thrusts. Pounding into him without restraint.

The pleasure was boiling hot as he writhed and squirmed, trying to hold onto anything as his insides were being rearranged. Soon, the god was left into a trembling and babbling mess for Y/n to enjoy and listen to.

His thrusts sent spikes of pleasure up his spine as he leaned down, his ear near Morax's gasping, bitten, red lips. "Y-Y/n!" A scream of his name got his attention. After a few more harsh ruts that had their eyes rolling in the backs of their heads, a coy smile that screamed male arrogance came from the hybrid.

While wildly thrusting, never stopping their pleasure, he chuckled slowly, groaning with pleasure at the back of his throat as his eyelids lowered, "Yes, my love?" His rasping voice enticed a response.

"Archons-!" His head was swimming too much, what he was going to babble about long disappearing as he greedily moved his hips to match the ruthless thrusts Y/n was eagerly giving.

A tiny chuckle sounded, "I've made your head empty so quickly. How cute and pitiful love. I should ruin your body more, until you're begging me to stop because it became too much, hm?"

"Fuck! Dammit, m' gonna cum! Gonna c-cum for you, plea-" A particular thrust completely directed at his g-spot caused pearly white strands to pour out of the man, not noticing the predatory gaze Y/n was failing to hide.

He wanted more of that sweet smell, for Rex Lapis to come undone again, and again.

"How cute." He whispered, continuing his thrusts of pure torture as the high he's been looking forward to approaching rapidly. "Gonna want my seed? I can fill you up, gonna do it… promise my love." Zhongli merely nodded dumbly as overstimulation clouded his mind, spit and tears mixing down his face.

He hiccuped, feeling a second orgasm approaching. "Need it-!" The shocks or pleasure cause him to moan and gasp.

A firm hand gripped his cock before suddenly jacking Zhongli off with such urgency he knew the hybrid was close and wanted them to climax together. "M' gonna fill you up, my scent is… fuck! Ahh…" He smirked and lazily began thrusting once he knew they were on the very last edge to cumming. "S' a pretty face y'r makin'. Scent you until we die." that last comment Y/n made caused Morax to gasp at that imagery, fucking like rabbits.

His warm cum filled the Archon, while a shudder came over him, cradling him in his arms while the aftershocks still consumed them. Y/n would be damned if he pulled out right now, his little gift would spill out and he wanted to be in the comforts of Zhongli's hole right now, before he got hard again, cockwarming him.

"Y/n…" Rex Lapis whispered, placing his hands on each side of his face while making the delirious man look him in the eyes. "Welcome home." And gave him a tender kiss.

At the words, a tear of pure happiness slipped from his cheek, the depression they'd both been subjected to washing away as they cuddled in the nest. "I'm home."

After many, many, many rounds that left them only more hungry for each other, they lay in the ruined nest, clothes, and coverings nonexistent as they gazed at one another. Sleep was evident in each other's eyes as they whispered sweet nothings to each other.

"I think…" Zhongli licked his lips lazily, his eyes fluttering closed before opening to try and continue, "when you died, the first time, I wanted to cleave out my… Heart." He whispered, causing Y/n's own heart to clench painfully. "But, I knew you'd be back. And even after saying that each time, it still hurt…" By now, the god had given up trying to keep his eyes open. "I missed your blatant disregard to divine beasts… how you'd look at me when you'd hunt me food as if you were hoping I'd love it…"

Y/n smiled loosely, his own eyes slowly going closed but fighting it better than his beloved one, wanting to gaze upon his features just a little bit longer. "It's a mating ritual…" He whispered, twisting their legs together more, torsos pressed more up against each other.

Zhongli hummed, chuckling quietly, "So sweet…"

"What else did you miss about me.?" His eyes closed while making sure his low voice reached the man.

"I… missed your nests… how you'd groom me in the evenings, fix up my hair." He sighed. "How you…… Would warm me up when I was cold. N' set trinkets put where I'd find them, like keys, rocks, and others… especially when I fed you. So many things…" He sighed, burying his face finally in Y/n neck and settled. Soon enough, his breathing went slow as sleep greeted him, along with being lulled by the scent of Rhys.

Y/n kissed the top of Rex Lapis' head as his breathing steadied. His final thought being, 'Thank you, my children.'

AN : fucking finally done. Been working on this for like… 2 months. Draft after draft of not being good enough. ANYwaysss. Thxs for reading, don't lmk of any spelling mistakes bc I ain't going to correct them anyways lmfao, I'm too done with this one shot to even care at this point ;-;

If you'd like me to do a pt 2, possibly about Rhys finding his wings or getting married or smth, maybe even make Zhongli horny for Y/n and riding him(yummy), but do lmk of that. Who knows. Thinking about doing a Dottore, or Diluc one-shot.

Requests are open, idc the length, jus know I work at my own rate. Just look at my do's and no's but I'm generally a laid-back person.

#zhongli #zhongli smut #zhonglixreader #genshin #genshin impact #smut #smut with plot #smut with feelings #character x male reader #male reader #seme reader #bottom character #angst with a happy ending #requests open #x reader #fluff #male x male

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earlgreygirlfriend · 2 years

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sunnflower content BIG POST 🌻

first of all, ao3 !! i really just wanted some good, nontoxic sunflower fanfiction because both sunny & basil deserve to be happy after the shit they've gone through! also, i wanted to feel better because BASIL IS CLEARLY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR SUNNY AND HE DOESNT KNOW IT (video by nerdy arty) hdjvhdjvhdn he JUST LIKE ME FR!!

ive categorized them by AU / canoncompliant with additional tags! completed fics are marked with 🌻, long fics (5k+ words) are marked with 💡

canon compliant:

Culinary Conversations by ShardOfHope💡

A Mug of Sundrops in a Wave of Sadness by karma_kalanchoe💡

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life by smiles2m

Suddenly, Sunny by diagnosed_shitposter

Bloom Later by witheredahlia💡

Catch a Glimmer of Your Star by UdonPuddle 🌻💡

au / mari lives:

Secondhand Sequitir by Soppypup💡🌻

He's Impossible by HowardR💡

to bask in your warmth by im_clo💡🌻

Flower Language by mirror_to_the_past💡

hmestwbf by ME (yes yours truly)

next up is yt animatics because uhhh idk i really like watching homo idiots!! i have 🕹️ that indicates the video depicts some omori plot involving spoilers for the game (the accident, angst, etc) or covers the entire game happening.

OMORI MV - Eine Kleine by Bear🕹️

Try Again by eggsoupery🕹️

OMORI MV - Love Me by white_tulips_

Nonsense Speaker by Nerdy Arty🕹️

in defense of sunflower: (major omori spoilers here cw!!)

why are people antagonizing them this badly? seriously i don't get it. they were children when the accident happened and gameplay shows that both of them got shittons of trauma

"what the hell were you guys thinking when you decided to ship two mentally unstable teenagers that participated in the same manslaughter??"

it was an accident. looking at the incident, i firmly believe it was very seriously fucked up, and they weren't in the right state of mind when it happened. consider the situation, the person you love most in the world is gone forever. in this situation, sunny completely closes in on himself and creates headspace. basil on the other hand sees sunny (his childhood best friend and the one he describes as 'perfect' and puts on a pedestal) completely having a mental breakdown. basil panics, not knowing what to do, because both of the people he idolize are gone - mari is dead, a part of sunny died with her. obviously he has a mental breakdown figuring out what to do, too?

obviously we should also consider basil's mental state at this point - pure speculation here, but basil, due to his feminine gender expression, would have been a victim of bullying, and the gang would have been his first friends. and basil photographs things he cherishes. that would mean he sees himself losing his friends when mari dies because sunny is most likely gonna be legally convicted of manslaughter right? in his disoriented, panicked mind, he wanted to protect sunny, the friend he most likely did have feelings for but was unable to admit them due to already being bullied, (that's just my hc dw) and did something that is super fucked up — he did more harm than good, but i believe he was just trying to fix everything back the way it was. we're absolutely going to talk about why Basil knows how to tie a noose, which adds to my point — basil might already have been mentally unwell (no doubt taking more shit from life than one is supposed to) BEFORE he met his friends, and he was desperately trying to salvage what little happiness he had left.

i cannot deny that sunnflower has full potential of being a very unhealthy and toxic relationship, but i might add that the true + secret ending has both Somethings disappear, implying that both of them are capable of healing. thats why i ship them manyyearsafter-canon or AU, bc therapy can fix shit ive seen it myself

ill end this little rant by a comment from j0kerclash on reddit:

Pairing them together is the implication that they are able to completely heal from their trauma, the actual dynamics of their relationship isn't toxic, it was the circumstances of their interactions combined with the context of the event itself. Sunny and Basil aren't permanently fucked up, I'd say it's quite harmful to imply that people are forever broken and can never truly recover. Considering the choices in the game are about confronting, accepting, and moving on from guilt and trauma, the best scenario for both Sunny and Basil, is if they were truly able to let go and not become triggers for each other, which is illustrated by them being unaffected by the potential toxicity of their past.

sorry for the rant! here are some links also defending the ship

if you enjoyed, i also have another sunflower headcannon post

from diagnosed_shitposter

idfk how to link the original text im sorry

this

#omori sunflower #omori sunnflower #sunny x basil #basil x sunny #i love these idiots #let them be gay #omori #omori basil #omori sunny #omori sunny x basil #sunnflower #theyre so silly #they are in love #omori fluff #fanfiction #god i am gay

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angriel · 1 year

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Disillusionment [IV]

Part 1 »» Part 2 »» Part 3 »» Part 4 »» Coming soon

Warning!: Aged up! Neteyam x Reader, Mentions of cheating!, Toxic Relationship, Some super duper Angst everywhere, Absolutely Ass writing, Mentions of Ab^se, Mentions of Blood, Curse Words, Mentions of 💀 thyselves

"Is it (Y/n)?" Neytiri Asked her son.

Neteyam sighed and nodded, he looked down not wanting to see the disappointment in her eyes. There was a painful silence between the two as the his mother scanned his figure.

Neytiri raised her hand to touch Neteyam's shoulder, but he thought that she was going to hit him. He flinched when her Hand came in contact with his shoulders.

"Neteyam" His mother spoke.

"It hurts me when you think that I was going to hit you" She said in a sad voice, as she continues to rub his shoulders. Neteyam processed what she said in his head.

"Neteyam I would never hurt you" Neytiri reassures him, She saw her son's shocked face and that caused her to chuckle.

"My son, Follow what your heart says now go and get her" She encouraged her son, Neteyam thanked her and then ran out of their hut.

"Thanks For giving him the talk Neytiri" Jake said as he emerged from the dark, Neytiri chuckled and gave him a peck on his lips before engulfing him to a hug.

"I couldn't help but see your younger self in him Ma Jake." They both laughed as they went back inside their hut to continue their duties.

Neteyam ran at his full speed towards your hut where he sees you packing your stuff up, he blocked your way panting as he catched his breath.

"Where *gasp* do you think *gasp* you're going?" He said out of breath, Neteyam's sudden appearance shocked you as you motioned for him to come inside your hut.

"I'm leaving Nete, I'll be looking for a new home" you said not daring to look at his eyes, you knew that when you looked at him you'll not be able to leave.

But he holds your hand and that made you look at him, you instantly regretted it as your will of leaving vanished in an instant when you saw how desperate and broken Neteyam looked.

"Please don't (Y/n) don't leave me please, I love you my Syulang I can't imagine you without here by my side! Why Can't you see that I loved you for a long time (Y/n)?!. Oel Ngati Kameie"

His declaration of love for you has put you in a state of utter disbelief, you didn't notice the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. It made your heart melt when Neteyam said the words you have longed to hear many years ago.

"I see you too Nete, But what will your mother think of our relationship? She will greatly disagree with us along with the Olo'eyktan himself"

You expressed your concern to him but he only looked down smiling while shooking his head, he chuckled and reached for your face to gently touch it and rub it.

"My Little Syulang you have nothing to fear my mother greatly favors you as well as my father, They knew that we were always meant to be together by Eywa"

You can't help but smile at him and he did too, you engulfed him in a hug in which he hugged you back tightly. You two stayed like that for hours and hours, frequently changing the positions but still cuddling each other.

No one speaks or sang and the both of you can only hear the soft whistles of the wind and the chirping of the birds, you both let your mind loose and let yourselves get comfortable in each others warmth. The both of you gradually fell asleep until the next morning.

»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●»●«●

The both of you stood at the home of Neteyam hand in hand contemplating on who will be the first to open the door, Neteyam took a deep breath and sighed before entering only to be met by Kiri.

"Hi Neteyam! Jake has been looking for you, seems like someone's in trouble~" She teased Neteyam, she looked at your joint hands and she gasped. And she met your eyes for confirmation.

You nod your head but before she could scream you stopped her by telling her that you have not yet mated before Eywa and she was disappointed.

Neytiri Came out to see who screamed only to see you and Neteyam, she looked at you scanning your figure from head to toe causing you to be anxious but Neteyam tightened his hold on your hand assuring yiu that it was okay.

"Come, Jake has been expecting you too" She said seriously before she went inside again, the both of you quickly followed her and as soon as the both of you got inside you saw Jake the Olo'eyktan himself sitting a few inches from where the both of you stood.

Neytiri joined Jake by his side sitting beside him as she motions for the both of you to sit across from them. Jake cleared his voice causing the both of you to flinch because of the nerve-wracking atmosphere.

Jake laughed at the both of you and that caused for you to loosen up and deeply sighed, he patted Neteyam's shoulder and looked at him in the eye.

"Answer me truthfully boy, do you accept her for who she is? Do you really love her? And are you willing to do ANYTHING for her and to be with her?" The Olo'eyktan asked his young son.

"Yes Sir! I love her with all of my heart and I will love her eternally until my last breath, I would do anything for her whatever it takes to make her mine and to be with me forever." Neteyam firmly said in confidence and that made you smile a little.

Neytiri smirked and looked at you causing you to get a little shy, Jake smiled at Neteyam as he let's go of his shoulder.

"Good! I'm proud of you son!" he firmly said.

"But do not celebrate yet as another challenge has made it's way to your own fates." Jake said in a serious manner causing the atmosphere to be heavy again.

"May I respectfully ask what do the Olo'eyktan mean by that?" You asked Jake and he looked at you, he motions for Neytiri to speak and she does.

"Your father was not happy on what happened to you ma (Y/n), he was enraged learning about the incident he spoke badly of you saying how you were a bad luck and a disgrace of your family."

She reached for your hand and squeezed it as a way of comfort and encouraging you to be strong, but before you say something Neytiri continued with her explanation.

"Therefore your father request has proposed for a fight with Neteyam if Teyam loses your consequences will be your banishment from the tribe and if your father loses it's their banishment."

"But isn't her dad have no longer have the right to do this as she is a bonded Na'vi?" Neteyam retorts but Neytiri shook her head.

"No Teyam, Their bond has been broken therefore the proposal of her father was made possible" She said whil looking Neteyam at his eyes.

"So what type of fight was my father's proposal?" you asked the Tsahik and her eyebrow contorted into a frown.

"A duel" She said grimacedly.

You gasped and looked at Neteyam, he looked back and he knew what you were thinking you shook your head for him to say no but he disagrees with your decision.

"Fine Where and When?" Neteyam asked, Jake smirked feeling proud of his son.

"At the training ground at the morning of (Y/n)'s Birthday"

"My birthday? that's in 2 days!" You exclaimed causing tension at the room.

"It's okay I'll be training him extra hard and give him a few tips to counter his techniques" Jake said while his arms crossed.

The 3 of us looked at him in shock as we were dumbfounded by his statement, the Olo'eyktan was expected of fairness of judgement and Jake was willing to help his son defeat your father.

"What? Even if I'm the Olo'eyktan doesn't mean I'll let my son get kick in the ass by your pops" He said.

The Father-Son duo decided to start their training now as they left you with Neytiri, you are a shy Na'vi but Neytiri Decided to train you as a Tsahik.

All of the Task of a Tsahik are already familiar with you as many of them are already a part of your daily life, Neytiri decided to train your shooting skills as well as teaching you her fighting style.

The day went on from that as all of you were busy doing your things, the day if the duel eventually comes as you put war paint all over Neteyam's body all of the tribe has came to witness a legendary moment of duel between 2 of the greatest warriors of the tribe.

You constantly asked him if he was okay and all but he replies with a consistent positive replies, as you finishes painting the last pattern you gave a deep kiss to Neteyam as a goodluck and it drove his fighting spirits up and got him all fired up.

They walked out of their respective tents as they faced at the middle of the training grounds, you saw your father there and he gave you a smirk that make you cower in fear and he laughed out loud.

"Prepare to die my useless daughter!" your father exclaimed in public causing for the tribe to give you a sympathetic look.

Jake and Neytiri announced the duel to start when he blows in a trumpet, causing the both of the duelist to start taunting each other to boost their own morale.

"Ready to lose young boy?" Your dad taunts him.

"Is your face ready to get pounded by my fists?" He taunted back causing your dad to growl and Jake to chuckle quietly, Jake drew a deep breath before sounding the trumpet.

Both of them charged at each other at full speed signalling that their duel has officially Started.

TAGS:

@cleverzonkwombatsludge @thatsenoughformelol @immortalbloodhuntress @erenjaegerwifee @soxfix @dorck26 @vampsclassiffied @1950schick @lovekeeho @fanboyluvr @buttercake2234 @slutforsmut4ever @witchywannabe3263 @sharni07 @avatarfreaky @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @adaiasafira @fluloa

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apus-neverstoplooking · 1 year

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807 words, prompt: Hallway, @jegulus-microfic

cw: codependency, the relationship can be read as toxic but it’s not meant to be, angst w/ a happy ending, fighting (not physical), unhealthy coping mechanisms, implied past nsfw. It sounds worse than it is, I’m just covering my bases here, I promise it’s happy at the end.

Regulus doesn’t even remember what they were fighting about. Probably something small, it always is; James is too hot-headed and Regulus is too stubborn. Neither can admit that they’re wrong until they’re yelling in the kitchen saying words they don’t mean.

Until James walks out the door and Regulus sits in the front hallway pathetically awaiting his return, if he returns at all. Everytime James slams the door behind him, Regulus wonders if it’s for the last time; if he was too cruel, too anxious, too sad, too Regulus for James to keep loving him.

But still he waits because he can’t sleep, he can’t eat, he needs James like stars need hydrogen. And he knows logically that it isn’t healthy, that James shouldn’t be able to have this much of an effect on him, but it’s James. His Jamie.

Normally Regulus sits in a chair and reads. When James walks in the door they drag one another upstairs pulling clothes off and kissing marks into skin, apologizing but not really fixing anything.

This time Regulus trails after him and when the door slams shut he can only slide down the wall. Sobs wracking his body, convinced the sun has left for good.

That’s how James finds him an hour later when he walks through the front door, eyes flicking to the arm chair in the corner before finding Regulus curled up on the floor. Still gasping for air and tears down his face, but no longer crying.

One look at him and James immediately walks back out the front door. Regulus is sure James is leaving him now, and those little sniffles turn back into full body sobs.

Too much.

To cruel.

Too anxious.

Too sad.

Too Regulus.

He can’t communicate. He can’t be good. He can’t love James right. He can’t… he can’t… he…

Too much and never enough.

When James walks in the door for a second time an hour later, Regulus’s head hurts ten times worse than it did an hour ago, his lungs ache and his throat is sore.

James automatically sits down and pulls Regulus into his lap, gently rubbing circles on his back, scratching the back of his head with other hand.

“Reggie, I need to talk to you about something.” He whispers gently. “We can’t keep doing this, it isn’t healthy.”

Regulus immediately stiffens and grips onto the front of James’s shirt. Desperate to keep him close, to keep him here.

“We argue about the dumbest things, then we fight about it. I run off and you sit waiting for me, and when I do get back we just go fuck and don’t even talk about our problems or why we were fighting in the first place.”

“I know bu-“

“I signed up for a therapist, who I’ll be seeing weekly. I don’t ever want to be reason you’re crying on the floor of our entry hall. I want to be good enough for you and love you the way you deserved to be loved. And you don’t deserve being yelled at and abandoned. I love you so fucking much and I’m going to work to be better for you so we can work out because you are by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t lose you.”

It’s silent in the hallway. After what has to have been ages, it was only a few minutes, James thinks Regulus has fallen asleep so he gets ready to bring Regulus up to bed.

Regulus murmurs against James’s chest.

“What was that, mis Estrella?”

Regulus pulls back a bit.

“I’ll go too, to therapy I mean. This isn’t just your fault. I know I’m fucked up. I know that. And I’m so sorry. For everything. For every time I didn’t just let shit go. For every time i was so so cruel to you. For every time I made it hard to love me. So I’ll go to therapy too, I think I’m finally ready to accept that I need it.”

If James had the smallest morsel of doubt about his decision before it’s completely gone now. He knows that Regulus wants this relationship to work just as much as he does; that some of his friends were wrong when they said it would be better to breakup, that he was fighting for a dead relationship.

“You’re not hard to love Reg. Loving you has to be the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” And it is, James isn’t lying.

“I love you, Jamie, more than anything.” Regulus has never meant something more.

“I know, my love,” James kisses the top of his head, “go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And Regulus does, he falls asleep and wakes up in James’s arms and he continues to do so for the rest of eternity.

#regulus black #james potter #jegulus #jegulus microfic #sunseeker #hallway #angst with a happy ending #they need to get they’re shit together #i promise it a happy ending #they work it out #james x regulus #regulus black needs a hug #regulus x james #they love each other #mauraders era

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rule0fwolves · 2 years

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Angsty Writing and Starter prompts from PTV’s Collide With The Sky album

feel free to change the words as you need to! Hope you enjoy! I thought of these as mainly angst based, but you’re free to use them in a different genre/tone as you need! Writing prompts will be under the cut! Also I encourage pairing some of them up! I would love to see what people make with this!

STARTER QUOTES:

“I met a girl who never looked so alone”

“I know it’s hard, but who are you to fall apart on me?”

“You said what about us, well what about me?”

“I still think you’re beautiful, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Bring them back or take me with them!”

“I know that you’re in pain”

“I’m sick of begging for the things that I want.”

“Loving you will surely bring me pain.”

“Dying is a gift.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t see that you truly loved me.”

“Don’t take this out on me”

“You’re the only thing keeping me alive” (toxic or sad)

“I’m sorry but I’ve made up my mind.”

“Please come home”

“I see you choke and it takes my breath away” (sadistic)

“Promise you won’t leave me”

“Am I the only one who thinks you should stay alive?” (pleading)

“I never meant to be your pain.”

“I only meant to do this to myself”

“Well, fuck, what, am I supposed to be impressed?”

“I don’t want to miss when you cry” (sadistic)

“Why can’t we just be friends?”

“It’s such a shame you had to go and run your mouth”

“Fuck you and your new love for yourself!” (jealous)

“There’s a beast in my heart and it won’t let you leave alive”

“Do you still love me? I’m dying to know.”

“This is the price you’ll pay”

“Don’t ever forget what we had.”

“I’ll make you feel beautiful again.” (sad)

“If you were me, you’d do the same”

“Everything’s not alright and I’d rather die!”

WRITING PROMPTS:

Feeling unsafe in a house full of people who don’t seem to like/love you, and taking the risk of being alone instead of staying in an unwelcoming home

Begging for love when you know it’s not worth it

Finding home in a “wasteland”

Kissing their best friend’s scars

Dying by poison but of your own doing

The person you love poisons your drink, planning to make it look like a suicide

The person you used to/still love haunting you like a ghost

Crawling under a staircase to escape what feels dangerous

Acting out of revenge but on a one-night time limit

The act of dying a bittersweet death together with someone you loathe/love

Crying in the bathroom with the shower/faucet running so they can’t hear you

Worrying about a friend with an addiction to something destructive and pleading with them to make a better choice

Seeing the hunger in their eyes for their destructive desire, the hunger for their addiction

Telling them you won’t leave them, but them disregarding your feelings and spiraling further into poor choices

The taste of blood that, for some reason, remains in your mouth no matter how much you try to wash it out.

Things you used to enjoy looking at so much becoming bland and boring

Wanting to keep your partner happy even though it hurts you

Your partner remaining happy and blind to your pain, and you can’t bring yourself to end the relationship

Causing trouble for the attention of your partner/friend just for them to brush it off, acting like they don’t care when it’s distressing you

Becoming so distant you forget the colour of your once-favourite eyes

Feeling invisible in the limelight of someone you used to love or admire

Feeling inferior to someone you loved, but have found to be an awful person

Killing something/someone quickly and never turning back to watch it die

Reconciling with an old flame just to be betrayed

Hoping for a better life for the one you love as you let them go

Standing by someone you love even at their most desperate and low moments

Desperate attempts to repay someone who has done so much for you, but to no avail

Covering up crimes committed by someone you love just because you love them so much that you don’t want to let them go and you don’t want to see them as the criminal they are

Being neglected by your loved ones for so long that you start to feel like you’re going crazy

Running away to somewhere close by just to see if they would find you or even notice you were gone

#writing prompts #prompts #starters #sentence starters #starter quotes #roleplay starters #rp prompts #fic prompts #pierce the veil #writing inspiration #writing inspo #rp inspo #writing ideas #angst #angst prompts #dialogue prompts #dialogue ideas

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mikkmeek · 1 year

Text

AO3 link

Title: I'll Come With You

Fandom: Good Omens

Warnings: N/A

Rating: General Audience

Words: 1k

Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley, Metatron

Relevant Tags: Angst, Hurt/No Comfort (kinda??), Good Omens Spoilers, First Kiss, Second Kiss, Canon Divergent

Desc:

!!Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers!!

“I’ll come.”

Aziraphale stilled, eyes widening and mouth stuck open.

“What?” It was barely a whisper, but Crowley heard it loud and clear. He heard the mixture of confusion and relief mixed into Aziraphale’s tone as if he was unsure of what Crowley was agreeing to.

“I’ll come with you.” A lump formed in Crowley’s throat as he forced the words out of himself. “To heaven.”

Or: Crowley goes to heaven with Aziraphale.

(Full fic under the cut)

It was far from Crowley’s proudest moment, but he hadn’t had time to think his actions through. The way the angel looked away, frustration and sadness wafting off of him in waves. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t let it… them end like this. He needed one more chance. One last ditch effort to make Aziraphale see that he was wrong . That going back to heaven would only make things worse, no matter what the blasted Metatron said.

Crowley’s body seemed to have taken control and replicated every romcom he had sat through. In an act of desperation, he marched towards the angel, pulled him in by his lapels, and smashed their faces together. As he twisted his eyes shut he could finally understand why humans liked this so much, even with the bitterness of their situation looming over them.

A surprised squeak had escaped from Aziraphale, but he hadn’t pulled away. His hands ghosted Crowley’s side and back, unsure yet desperate. There were points where his hand would settle and pull them closer to one another, before falling. Crowley screwed his eyes shut tighter, trying to well down the pool of warmth swirling in his chest.

Eventually, Crowley was the one who stepped back, the kiss feeling both too short and blissfully long.

The sob that escaped Aziraphale turned the warm pool in his chest to ice. He looked devastated, eyes welling up with tears and lips trembling as he struggled to get a word out. Behind his watery gaze was a longing Crowley had never seen from his angel before.

Longing for him.

But the longing faded into something else. Confusion? Anger? Crowley couldn’t tell, but it broke his heart seeing him like this. Seeing him torn.

And right as Aziraphale brought himself out of his stupor and as soon as he could finally muster up the words stuck in his throat–

“I’ll come.”

Aziraphale stilled, eyes widening and mouth stuck open.

“I’ll come with you.” A lump formed in Crowley’s throat as he forced the words out of himself. “To heaven.”

He despised heaven, maybe even more than he despised hell. They were toxic and manipulative, the higher ups only caring for themselves. But… But if Aziraphale was going to be up top maybe he could make a difference. He could change heaven… But he wasn’t going to be able to do that alone. No, he was too naive for that. The other archangels could easily take advantage of him, and if the Metatron even laid a finger on him–

“Oh, Crowley.” He was jolted out of his thoughts by a soft hand being placed upon his cheek. He locked eyes with Aziraphale from behind his sunglasses, a watery smile spread across his face. “You won’t regret a single second of this.”

He doubted that... Not that he’d admit it out loud. Not when Aziraphale looked so happy.

Their second kiss was just as sudden as the first as Aziraphale pulled him in, smiling into it. Crowley could feel the love radiating from his angel, causing tears to well up in his eyes.

A singular tear escapes Crowley and pools at the bottom of his sunglasses frame as he leans into the kiss, relishing in what little freedom he and Aziraphale have left.

The ringing of the bookshop’s bell indicated the Metatron’s return, but Crowley didn’t care. Just a few more moments. A few more moments of just the two of them, please .

Aziraphale pulls away, a whine escaping Crowley as he chases after him. “Dear,” whispers Aziraphale, placing a hand up to Crowley’s lips with an amused smile, “you’ve stopped time again.”

Oh. Crowley looks around them and catches sight of the humans outside the bookshop, all frozen in place.

“‘Suppose I have,” he grumbles, letting his shoulder slacken as Aziraphale shifts away from him, keeping a hand on his forearm.

“Should you…” Aziraphale motions around the two of them and Crowley finally notices the Metatron at the bookshop doorway, a surprised look etched onto his face.

A part of him wanted to take this opportunity to run off with Aziraphale to Alpha Centauri or even somewhere like the South Downs, just as he had originally pitched. His gaze moved to Aziraphale’s, and the angel’s eyebrows narrowed in concern.

“Crowley?” he asked.

No. Aziraphale had already turned him down. No point in dealing with a fourth rejection of his idea of running away.

Taking in a breath, Crowley let the world around them set into motion once more. He watched as the citizens of Soho returned to the hurried walks down the sidewalk and conversations at Nina’s coffee shop. He watched the birds fly through the air and cars race down the street.

“Well, it seems you two are ready.”

Crowley couldn’t help but bristle at the sound of the Metatron’s voice. Aziraphale smiles and lets his hand squeeze Crowley’s arm before sliding down and touching his hand tentatively. Crowley eagerly snatches his hand into his own, entwining their fingers together.

Aziraphale’s smile widens. “We’re ready to make a difference,” he proclaims proudly. Crowley does his best not to scowl.

Crowley was ready.

The Metatron smiles, gesturing outside the bookshop. “Then we best be on our way. I promise that Muriel will take excellent care of the place.” The Metatron’s gaze shifts over to Crowley. “We’re ecstatic to have you back.”

He was ready to do whatever it takes to protect his angel.

Crowley gives a weak nod and the three leave the bookshop, entering the bustling street before them. Crowley eyes the elevator to heaven and scowls. He was moments away from sealing his fate. Moments away from being an angel again.

Moments away from a job he once hated.

But he’d go back and protect Aziraphale, even if it meant falling all over again.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #the metatron #first kiss #second kiss #angst #hurt/no comfort #ao3 #mikks writing #fanfiction #writing #ao3 link #canon divergent

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luvth0t · 2 years

Text

OLD HABITS ━ C.L

in which you and charles fall back into old habits, but is it for better or worse?

warnings; angst, smut and fluff !! toxicity central but we love em for it, frustrating charles and reader, mentions of french gp, insecure and sad charles, arguments, alcohol, mentions of alcohol as a coping mechanism, drunk confessions, thigh riding, unprotected sex, choking, degradation, praise, oral sex, love making oOo

part two to sex and regret, read part one here

the last time, charles had sworn. this was the last time he’d ever find himself climbing up these damn stairs.

a box in hand, full of all your stuff he could find ━ all your stuff that he hadn’t had the courage to pack away over the years, never getting to that point even in your time apart, never trusting himself to return your things with the intention of never seeing you again.

but that had changed now. he couldn’t forgive himself for ruining everything you had built for yourself, then leaving you high and dry. so this was the end.

you hadn’t come calling or reached out, not even to yell or scold him for being such an asshole. he was kind of hoping to face your anger, wanting so desperately to know how you had coped.

how you were when he was beating himself up and drowning in self hatred for the way he had ruined things with you again. he had hurt you again.

he couldn’t do it anymore.

he knocked at your door, the usual sense of anxiety and dread one he was used to as he rocked on the balls of his feet, awaiting for you to open up. if you did. he was expecting some resistance, to be ignored at first; not that it mattered.

he knew you’d let him in eventually.

what he didn’t expect was for the door to fly right open, revealing a less than impressed you; blank facial expression, staring back at him.

you looked tired. fed up. nothing like you did just a week ago when he had left you in the bathroom of the club, but what could he expect when you were definitely going through a break up that was his fault.

he waited for you to speak, to scream at him; curse him out, tell him to leave, question why he was here. but nothing.

“i uh, wanted to bring your stuff over.” charles realised you weren’t going to say anything, his own lips pursing as he glanced between the box and you ━ your own eyes adverting to it as well.

you had taken a sharp breath, having not assumed it would be your belongings because you didn’t want them. you didn’t want anything from him. anything from him if you didn’t get him for yourself, not even if it was yours to begin with.

you stayed silent, stepping aside and motioning to the ground next to the front door of your apartment, a gesture telling him to put the box down as you looked at him expectantly.

just when charles thought he had predicted any possible encounter, he didn’t at all expect you to give him the silent treatment. his shoulders dropping, quick realisation that he wasn’t happy with you giving him absolutely nothing ━ even if he knew he deserved it.

“can we at least talk?” charles grumbled, attempting to not sound as bothered as he was, your jaw tensing at the question, shaking your head quickly as you resisted the urge to laugh at him.

always wanting to fucking talk.

“no.” your voice was quiet, shaking your head again in persistence as you glanced to the box of your things again, arm still pointing towards the spot on the ground where you wanted.

he had huffed, taking a moment to figure out how to go about this. he wasn’t here to argue. he never intends to argue with you. but you just got to him so easily.

“come on y/n,” the monegasque sighed out ━ trying so hard to sound convincing, to sound as if you were being unreasonable. as if you had no reason to not want to speak to him.

he knew you shouldn’t talk. knew it wouldn’t get him anywhere. heck he even tried to tell himself while he drove here that he’d keep conversation minimal.

but that all went out the window when he realised you didn’t want to talk. you should. you should want to talk to him, he wanted you to want answers. he wanted what he can’t have.

“i have nothing to say to you.” you snapped this time, and while the words were not one bit comforting, charles found comfort in knowing you weren’t giving him a fake act anymore. “anything that leaves your mouth is bullshit.”

charles rolled his eyes, the anger and annoyance bubbling within him that only you seemed to bring out; anger and annoyance that should be directed towards himself but you were an easier target.

“it doesn’t have to always be like this.” charles huffed, moving to grip the box with one arm as the other ran through his hair, a nervous habit he just had to do. he couldn’t help but despise how willing you were to get hostile, how your defence mechanism was one that only got himself riled up as well.

you laughed this time, eyes leaving him so you wouldn’t give in to his want to speak too much, so you wouldn’t give too much away.

“don’t give me that.” you were quick to shut down any attempts of his to guilt you into feeling bad for having your walls up. “i know what this means. i don’t need to hear your shitty excuses or reasoning behind it.” you ranted, eyebrows raising to challenge him. daring him to tell you that you were wrong.

the moment he leaves you were sure you’d be sobbing over the fact he was making a move so definite as giving you your belongings, removing any excuse to see him again; cutting final ties, taking that last step neither of you had been able to before.

“right, you’re just gonna assume the worst and run with it?” charles got on the defensive, challenging you right back even though you were right, it was nothing he wouldn’t have told you before. but still, he meant it this time. he wanted to at least.

“fine.” your arms raised then hit your side, the driver slightly taken back as he watched you step aside to make room for him to come inside. “come in. tell me why you can’t do this anymore, apologise for hurting me again. lie to my face, anything to make you feel better about yourself charles.”

it was dig after dig, sarcasm dripping from every word as your offer had charles suddenly wanting to be the one to not talk, his jaw ticking as he shook his head ━ regardless, he wasn’t going to back down, a forced smile on his features as he walked inside your apartment.

“you can’t handle the truth. can’t blame that on me.” he deflected, unfairly shifting the blame onto the failed attempts to stay true to his words on your, well aware he was as much at fault for doing the opposite of what he says.

“what truth?” your question wasn’t one from genuine curiosity, purely not wanting to be on the back foot in the conversation, quick with your tongue as your eyes burned holes into the back of his head, watching as he dropped the box against a random wall outlining your flat.

“that this will never work.” charles spoke the obvious, sounding exasperated as he turned to face you; eyes wide as if he was begging for you to hear him, as if he was the only one able to recognise that conclusion.

despite your guard fully up, his words still stung; they always would ━ nothing hurt more than the fact that things just didn’t work between the pair of you.

“i know that!” you almost yelled back, face matching his with your desperate eyes because you too wanted him to hear you, not at all under a false impression that things between the pair of you could go back to the way they used to be. that it could be anything more than pleasure and heartache.

“then don’t fucking give me shit for doing the hard thing,” charles voice had raised in volume, but it didn’t phase you in the slightest ━ a scoff being heard as you rolled your eyes again.

you didn’t even regret inviting him, arguing with him didn’t stress you anymore. didn’t stress anymore either. the only thing that felt easy these days, a poor and unfortunate security of communication between the pair of you.

“the hard thing?” you hummed in fake interest, head tilting to the slide which had his face turning stoic. “the hard thing is actually staying away charles. and you couldn’t fucking do it.” you hissed, watching as your toxic lover shook his head in immediate denial despite there only being truth to your words.

he hated how you acted as if you weren’t guilty of the same. as if you had never rocked up on his doorstep needy and sad, or rang his phone drunk alone.

“yeah? well i’m going to this time,” charles spoke simply now, deciding against trying to defend himself and instead just have his words hit home, not missing the way your face faltered for a mere second. you recovered as quick as ever, unbothered expression returning as quick as it left.

but charles knew you too well, knew that what sounded like a promise definitely terrified you as much as it did him. could tell by the way your lips twitched and eyes averted.

“yeah okay.” you spoke in fake belief, nodding way too convincingly and once more charles was growing annoyed. he was doubting himself but he wanted to mean it this time. wanted you to believe him, needed you to be under the impression he was done for good; for your own sake.

“i mean it.” charles huffed, arms crossing over his chest as his eyes stayed glued to your figure, desperately wanting to make you crack; except all he got was an amused smile, watching as you stopped yourself from laughing and looked away from him.

“heard it all before charles,” you sighed out, truly at a stage where you just accepted that things weren’t changing. almost at a point where you were willing to continue the torturous cycle of nights together and days sneaking off from one another, maybe because you knew being with anyone else wouldn’t work.

that maybe whatever you had with charles was the best you’re going to get.

“this is different.” charles grumbled, eyes darting to your things on the floor, which after your doubt was starting to seem like a false sense of security for him to believe himself, a gesture to convince himself he meant the words he was speaking.

“right. until when? until i find someone else? until you fuck up on track again?” you wondered aloud, all sense of a filter lost and it was clear to charles you were taking the anger approach rather than upset one, clearly not dwelling over the way he had treated you last week.

charles had so many things he wanted to say; maybe get even, point out all your unhealthy habits as well. remind you that you weren’t innocent yourself, that you’d be dialling his number whenever the next friend of yours gets engaged. or how you’d be at his doorstep the next time you have an extra hard day at work.

he wanted to assure you that you were wrong, that he’d find other ways to numb any pain he feels in the mere future, that he could manage alone; much unlike you who resorted into a cringey relationship.

but he couldn’t, not having enough confidence in proving you wrong because he wasn’t entirely sure you were, hating how he couldn’t be so certain with his thoughts.

“why’d you want to come in hm? wanna fuck again? say it’s the last time, give us closure?” you jumped at the opportunity to talk instead of him, a few steps forwards him had him well aware of the dangerous territory you were entering. “even though we both know damn well it wouldn’t be the last time,”

suddenly you were right in front of him, cocky smirk plastered on your features and charles was struggling to clear his mind that had been sent into a haze with you in such close proximity, the smell of your perfume almost enough to have him folding.

he was better than that though, for the most part at least; he had no intentions to end up in your bed this time.

“last week was the last time.” charles told you, looking down at you now, speaking with so much conviction that you would’ve believed him if you didn’t know any better.

but of course you saw right through him, your smile only growing as your hands moved to rest on his shirt ━ charles immediate thought was to push you away, but he couldn’t; his hands had no want to rid yours off him.

“yeah okay,” you spoke out, eyes staring up at him as your hands sprawled over his clothed torso lightly, tongue poking your cheek for a moment. “you can leave then right?”

charles didn’t even realise when his hands had moved to grip your waist but they had, body subconsciously wanting to make sure you didn’t pull away from him anytime soon, his eyes staring right back at yours.

he can leave. he should leave. he really should, heck you were even giving him the opportunity to do so.

“was hoping to get a box of my things back too.” charles told you, hoping that maybe if he got back to where this visit started he may be brought to his senses. maybe you’d be brought to yours, the sexual tension that never fails to occur could hopefully be put to bed ━ and not literally.

“threw all your shit out last week.” you shrugged right back, mason having visited to grab his things having enlighten a different fury inside of you.

his comments hitting a bit too close to home about you and charles, about how it was ‘all for nothing,’ that you didn’t ‘know your worth. it’s pathetic.’

‘you aren’t sorry. only person you’re sorry for is yourself,’

‘the pair of you were made for each other.’

many digs at yourself and your situation with charles, and you couldn’t even blame him considering he had literally heard you cheat on him over the phone.

so after mason grabbed his things you found every item that once belonged or reminded you of the monegasque and dumped it in the trash.

“right.” charles breathed out with a nod, almost wanting to laugh at how typical that was from you, not able to get mad. nothing out of character from you; throwing his shit down the stairs, off the balcony once.

all deserved not that he’d admit it. and he also wouldn’t admit it was reassuring to know you cared enough to still get so frustrated.

“anything else?” you were acting way too civil right now, confirming to charles you had other plans than to argue; in no way, shape or form would you happily let him leave without another word.

and in no way, shape or form would charles walk out that door without another word. not when you were in his grasp, when you were staring up at him with big eyes that he just couldn’t resist.

he was still confused, confused as to why you did this to yourself. how you could look so shattered last week when he walked out on you; but now look so willing to give him the opportunity to do it again. it made him feel guilty, shitty for letting you reduce your standards so low.

“leave charles go on.” you taunted, actions and words not aligning as your finger tips slipped under his shirt. “this is different yeah?” you were mocking him now, causing him to tense once more; from your words or touch he wasn’t sure.

charles stood no chance, you too much of a temptation to deny, too much of a reward to care about any sense of pride. he wants to blame lust but it’s more than that, it always has been; the reasoning behind both you and him breaking promises and backtracking on your words not able to be explained but mutually understood.

“if you want me to fuck you chérie, just ask.” charles practically snapped ━ one of his hands cupping your cheek roughly as he raised his eyebrows, stare intense and you knew you had him, the smirk that formed on your lips only infuriating him further.

“you’re going to fuck me.” you corrected, the innocent smile you gave him could kill him if he dwelled on it too long, no wonder he was so stuck on you. “that’s why you’re still here.”

you watched as his eyes darted from your own eyes to your lips, his mind ticking away as his jaw clenched; a huff leaving his mouth the last thing you heard befofe he had pulled you in roughly for a kiss.

the eventual moment of content reaching the pair of you, the past minutes spent arguing suddenly worth it as you resorted to back to what felt best. what you both knew best.

you had come to the conclusion that you weren’t willing to have none of charles, so you’d have to settle for some. plus; you were sick pretending as if this was not how it would always end between the pair of you.

you let him push you back until you hit the nearest wall, something to lean against most certainly coming in handy as your hands cupped his cheeks, attempting to keep up with the rough and heated kiss that was as messy as the pair of you.

your hands left his face, wanting to return to his shirt although he was quick to stop you, hands finding yours before you could even tug on the material, gathering your wrists within one hand and pressing them above your head with ease, the sudden movement pulling a gasp from you.

“always gotta prove something hm?” charles quizzed, towering over you as his whole body practically pressed against yours into the wall, your lips parting to speak but the closeness of him was making it difficult to form words.

he noticed this, a sense of relief almost that he’d managed to flip this ━ one kiss and you were the one flustered, when moments ago he was struggling beyond his life.

“just telling the truth.” you huffed out, stare not faltering despite not holding eye contact as easily as you would’ve liked to be, struggling against his grip ━ not because you wanted to break free, just for the sake of it. in no rush to submit.

“you’re fucking infuriating,” charles breathed with a slight shake of his head; although what really infuriated him was himself, his inability to resist you. his inability to treat you right. nothing was easy with you.

except the sex. the sex was second nature.

the small smirk that grew on your features from his words went straight to his cock, his free hand moving to wrap around your throat lightly, his head ducking to press kisses to your jaw.

“should leave,” the driver mumbled out as he worked his way down your jaw, to the skin of your neck that wasn’t covered by his hand; tilting your head to his liking. “you should want me to leave,” he added in a grumble, nipping at your skin lightly which had you whimpered as your head attempted to tilt back, no use against his grip.

there was weight to his words, much bigger meaning than him simply leaving your apartment in this moment, although the latter still applied.

you knew he was right. you should want him to leave, you shouldn’t have even let him in. but you were done lying to yourself about what you wanted, willing to accept such little for the time being, until you got too attached again, where you’d be forced to distance yourself.

“you should hate me.” charles huffed out, hot breath on your skin as he pushed his leg between your thighs; you could already feel where he had left a trail of marks and bites on your neck, unable to complain as small breaths and whines escaped your throat.

“i do.” you lied through gritted teeth, hands attempting to free from his grip once more as he chuckled, head lifting once more to look at you; doubt filled eyes purely because he knew you weren’t telling the truth.

he’d much rather you hated him. maybe if you hated him, he wouldn’t be able to come back, be forced to move on. to get over you. but he had a non false sense of security that one way or another you’d let him back in. you’d forgive him. make an excuse.

he knew this cause he does the same for you. he couldn’t bring himself to hate you despite his friends encouraging him to, couldn’t speak a bad word about you to his manager and trainer who have one too many times tried to convince him in getting over you.

charles didn’t even need to reply, lips pressed against yours again and you were needly kissing back this time, attempting to lean forward to feel as much as him as you could with your body due to your hands still he restrained, but his hold around your neck simply tightened ━ pushing you back against the wall.

maybe charles wasn’t letting you touch him because he still had a bit of faith in himself, maybe he could end this here. walk out, don’t look back. do the hard thing. that was entirely out of the equation the moment you got your hands on him again.

“charles please,” you practically whined into his mouth, hands attempting to break free for what felt like the 100th time, and the monegasque knew he stood on chance. he didn’t have the power, nor want, to deny you no longer.

“merde,” he muttered; hands letting you go completely just to grab at your thighs; hoisting you up quickly ━ your legs and arms quick to wrap around him, a penny dropping of both relief and excitement in both of you.

your fingers tangled through his hair, legs wrapped tight around his torso as the kiss became one of passion; unspoken agreement that this was happening again, and neither of you were going to complain about it no more. not right now at least.

you had barely noticed you were moving, charles navigating your apartment with ease like he had so many times before despite your lips still connected to yours as his full attention on your body, swift move to the couch, only realising you had moved when he sat down and brought you with him.

making the most of a make out session didn’t last, never does; only taking a couple minutes before your hips were attempting to grind over his, ghosted by a bruising grip of his hands and the small grunts of appreciation he continued to make, his hard on now impossible to ignore.

he beat you to it however, when you wanted things to progress, his hands moving your body so that you were straddling only one of his legs; and you had been with him plenty of times to know where this was going.

“really?” you breathed out, hesitantly pulling away from the kiss to try catch your breath, eyes pouring down into his as he nodded in certainty; and you wanted to roll your eyes, expecting the lack of sex between the pair of you would decrease his patience.

“you’re so adamant that i’m going to fuck you, wanna see you work for it,” charles shrugged ━ hands travelling to your ass where he laid a small tap of encouragement, your cheeks heating and eyes actually rolling this time at his words.

although then his grip on your ass tightened, pressing your hips down so your clothed clit brushed against the material of his jeans, your oversized t-shirt having ridden up your legs, the moan that left your lips slightly strained.

he was practically glowing, oozing cockiness now, eyebrows raising in expectance; giving you an opportunity to argue, but of course you didn’t take it considering you could feel his hands on you.

plus with your lace thong being the only thing separating your cunt from his jean cladded thigh, the feeling was too good to ignore, even with the idea of his fingers, tongue or cock in mind.

your hands moved to the hem of his shirt as you began to rock your hips, tugging the material up his body before he took over and shrugged it over his head, discarding in beside the pair of you before his hands were folded behind his head.

he didn’t miss the small frown on your lips from the lack of physical contact on his behalf, your hips dragging along his thigh repetitively, the small whispers and sighs you were making his hard on become more prominent, aching to be freed from his jeans.

“don’t pout.” charles huffed, a flex of his thigh causing a sudden louder moan to escape you quickly. “can’t help but want to see you so desperate for me amour,” he breathed out; your cheeks heating as your hips started to speed up, certainly making a mess over his jeans.

you kept quiet, pout remaining on your lips as you decided to just admire the view ahead of you, knowing complaining wouldn’t get you anywhere as your hands pawed at his skin ━ running over his toned abdomen and chest, although you approached the point where your own movement and grinding wasn’t enough.

charles recognised this quickly however, his hands now finally touching you ━ finding your hips and guiding your movements now with his free hand, pressing you further down, clit repeatedly dragging against his material, your moans becoming more frequent now.

“please charles,” second plea of the night and charles was already ready to give you everything you asked for, breath hitching as he watched you get off on nothing but his thigh; nails digging into your skin, resting under your shirt.

but you just looked so pretty like this, face contorted in pleasure; body rolling so perfectly on top of him. he couldn’t take his eyes off you, suddenly the memory of intending to just talk to you sounded ridiculous. how could he ever pass this up? ever promise to not come back to it.

“see, you can be good mon ange,” charles sighed out in slight awe, before he was fiddling with the hem of your shirt before tugging it off your body; leaving you in your bra and underwear and a perfect sight for himself. “just gotta rough you up a bit first yeah?” he was smirking now, hands coming back down your body; brushing over the marks he had left around your neck before returning to guide your hips.

you were moaning at his words now, nodding ever so slightly as if it would woo him over and he could touch you properly. while you knew from experience you could get off on his thigh alone, you knew you’d cum harder from the likes of his fingers.

“want you,” you huffed out, impatience growing due to the growing arousal, sure to have formed a wet patch on his jeans as you tried to chase your high which seemed so far away, inching ever so closer when he’d flex his thigh or put pressure on your hips.

“can tell. making a mess all over my pants like a fucking whore,” charles replied, watching as the heat raised up your neck and your cheeks, your eyes fluttering shut to avoid his gaze, although you were well aware of one of his hands leaving your body to cup your cheek. “look at me.”

that was short lived, eyes quickly opening to look at him, a small whimper being heard from you as you did so ━ hips still rutting away, charles mouth practically watering at the sight.

“my pretty girl,” his praise was a contrast to the words he had just spoken, barely above a whisper but you heard him loud and clear as he stared at you intently, ignoring the familiar butterflies from his simple words, jaw hanging open as your breathing was heavy. “wanna ride me yeah? that’s what you’re whining for?”

you nodded quickly, small huff from the continuous taunts ━ you had noticed his hard on, which you could easily brag about considering you had barely touched him. but you knew he’d edge you to next thursday if you at all tried to be bratty. and he wasn’t wrong, so badly you wanted more of him.

“please,” you almost cried out, your cunt clenching around nothing ━ his thumb caressing your cheek doing little to ease the ache you had for him, although the sight of him retracting his hands completely to unbuckle his jeans and free himself had your heart jumping.

your hand was quick to replace his, sitting still on his thigh now as you jacked him off a couple times, charles hissing as your thumb spread the pre-cum over his tip; you couldn’t help but smile lazily, knowing damn well you still had such an effect on him.

you were quick to cooperate when charles rid you of your soaked and ruined panties, then helping you reposition yourself on his lap before you were sinking down onto his cock, sliding down with ease due to your time spent riding his thigh.

“oh fuck,” you moaned, biting down harshly on your bottom lip as your arms wrapped around his neck; fingers scratching over the hair on the nape of his neck, charles groan mixing in with yours as he let you set the pace to begin with.

you took a moment to get used to the stretch while charles hands traveled to your back, unclasping your bra ━ adding it to the pile of clothes that had formed around you.

“there you go doll,” charles rasped when you started to move up and down, riding his dick as you had done his thigh moments earlier, hand moving to the back of your hair to bring your lips to his in another kiss.

you were moaning into his mouth as the kiss was heated, lazier than the first you two shared as your hips moved up and down; bouncing on his cock quickly.

you struggled to kiss back when his free hand snaked between your bodies, finding your sensitive clit had you whimpering, eyes fluttering shut once more.

“say you hate me but you sure love this dick hm,” charles grunted, hand leaving your hair to hold your hip down ━ his own hips now lifting to thrust up into you, which had your eyes rolling back; nodding at his words blindly. “such a slut for me, can’t help yourself can you?”

you shook your head now, body bouncing with every thrust and movement he made ━ your jaw agape permanently as the moans continued to fall, growing in volume; sure to be letting all your neighbours know your toxic lover had returned.

“can’t━ can’t hate you,” you whimpered out; well aware he knew that but in the heat of the moment you wanted to clarify, and hearing you say it out loud had charles breathing a little easier, his harsh grip of your hair turning into a delicate hold, fingers running through the strands, a contrast to the way he was pounding into you.

“i know,” he breathed out, hand now sprawling down your back, feeling every inch of skin he could; fingers rubbing circles on your clit enough to have you seeing stars, shamefully approaching your high incredibly quickly. but that was always the way with ‘makeup’ sex.

“can tell your close baby, come on, always cumming so quick for me yeah” charles encouraged ━ basically cooing in your ear as your head fell onto his shoulder, his own orgasm at the back of mind despite feeling you squeeze around him; he wanted nothing more than to feel and see you fall apart above him.

and that you did, cumming on his dick a feeling you’d never get sick of, head falling back and charles groaned from the sight alone ━ the way his name fell from your lips sounding better each time, not slowing down his thrusts to ensure you felt and enjoyed every moment of your high.

“get on your knees.” his words didn’t register at first, mind in a haze despite only one orgasm deep ━ your body definitely still not used to the mind blowing sex despite that one time in the club together, having forgotten how to cope with charles stamina.

you then realised he had stopped moving, meeting his expectant eyes your cheeks heated again, already flushed from your body being on fire ━ the small grunt he let out going straight to your core.

“fucked stupid already love?” charles taunted, hand moving to tangle and tug on your hair, the small whimper you let out doing little to phase him considering your cunt squeezed around him from the movement, causing him to his. “on your knees.”

you were quick now, scrambling off him and settling between his legs, charles breathing irregular now at the sight below him; and when you took him in your mouth fully his head fell back, a loud groan heard from the driver.

“missed this fucking mouth,” he sighed out, eyes squeezing shut as you got to work, eager to please and draw his praise ━ considering you didn’t get the chance to last time. it had been way too long.

his moans were addictive, your own thighs squeezing together as you cleaned yourself off his dick in the process, tongue working expertly as you deepthroated him.

you began to gag and choke every few moments, the noises you were making only causing charles hips to push up ever so slightly, hitting the back of your throat and making your eyes water.

“good girl, there you go,” charles groaned, unexpectedly twitching in your mouth before cumming with little warning, but you were quick to swallow and lap up anything you could, both your own saliva and him gathered on the corners of your mouth and chin.

it didn’t end there, it never did. after he caught his breath which was not too long after you had moved to your room, and you lost count the amount of times he made you cum with his fingers and tongue.

regardless it was enough to tire the pair of you out, and while charles intended to leave the same day he came; it was the following morning and he was still wrapped up in your sheets, sleeping alongside you; you practically on top of him more so.

what neither of you knew that it may be the start of change, that unknowingly the pair of you might finally, just maybe, work things out.

it didn’t necessarily start that morning, because like usual you woke up first; a tug on the heartstrings when you realised you were laying on his chest, the sound of him breathing quite satisfying then utterly heartbreaking.

an old trick of yours, sneaking out of bed and heading straight to the bathroom, running the shower which without fail would always wake him up. then by the time you get out, he’d be gone; awkward conversation or arguing avoided and you wouldn’t see him till next time.

the first change, charles didn’t leave. he’s not sure what possessed him to do so; but instead of taking the opportunity to leave undetected, he found himself opening the bathroom door instead.

you had jumped, body under the hot water as you caught sight of his frame in the mirror, and while talking to him terrified you; being naked in front of him certainly didn’t.

“fucking hell,” you breathed out; hand placing over your chest as you turned to face him, water running down your back and soothing your tired body.

“sorry,” he had almost chuckled, attempting to keep his eyes at your eye level and not admire you, or his work from last night which was scattered over your skin.

“thought you’d be gone,” you couldn’t help but be honest, pursed lips as your hand brushed over your slicked back hair, charles shrugging, taking steps towards the shower as he shut the door behind him.

“well i did come here to talk,” charles pointed out ━ as if he was in here to talk, that was the last thing on his mind now. regardless, with a clear head and steam on your skin, the prospect of talking about the pair of you terrified you.

you knew he had came here with the intent to cut ties.

“right,” you hummed out, turning to face away from him; facing the water now as you let it hit your face, distracting yourself from the possible lurking conversation and argument clear to come. as if not looking at him would just make it all go away.

you heard movement but didn’t pay any mind, until you felt his lips on your shoulder blade; and hand on your hip; quite quickly realising he was behind you, having joined you under the water.

“don’t think we need to talk anymore though,” charles voice was quieter now that he was closer, kisses continuing as you’d leaned back into his chest ever so slightly, a content sigh leaving your lips.

“mhm?” you questioned out, moving to face him again ━ although this time you had to look up through your lashes to make eye contact, watching as he nodded with a small shrug.

“you said it yourself right, last night wasn’t the last time right?” he quirked a brow, a small smirk even tugging on his lips as relief flushed through your body; the pair of you seeming to be back on the same page. for the first time in a long time.

and while it wasn’t the preferred page it would work.

“i don’t know, you didn’t seem to be in agreement,” you had teased, smirk mirroring his as your arms moved up to wrap around his neck; stepping slightly closer, your tits pressing against his chest which had his breath caught in his throat, the hot water flicking onto his skin every few moments doing little to help.

“well i changed my mind.” he spoke quietly, and you didn’t need to reply; lips meeting his again for a passionate kiss.

back into old habits, like when the pair of you first split up. sex. just sex. no arguing. no loving. well, no typical loving. you’d still end up in his arms for the night, and maybe there’d be round two in the morning. or maybe one of you would leave before the other wakes up.

regardless, it was just sex. whenever convenient.

back into old traditions too, first place he’d come to after touching down in monaco after a race would be your apartment, no self hatred about it now because he knew you’d be waiting for him.

the pair of you knew it wouldn’t last forever, being hopelessly in love with him meant that this would only satisfy you for so long. soon you’d be craving more again, willing to take the risk again which would only backfire.

or maybe he’d pull the trigger first, and you’d be too scared again to trust him. then he could change his mind.

it’s all happened before, and while you thought that cycle had ended, this was just the beginning of it all over again.

but you were loving it, because after the whole mason stint and trying to find yourself without him attempts became a miserable fail, nights with him were all you needed.

because you were still his. and he was still yours. and you both knew it too.

so how could this be for the better? how could this be the start of change if it’s just history repeating itself?

gradually leaving before the other realised had become forbidden, an unspoken thing that now only occurred if you had places to be, messages or notes left to explain.

suddenly nights together lead to breakfast in the mornings. or you’d have dinner before getting on your knees for him.

or maybe you’d watch a movie first, then he’d have you screaming his name as you shook on his tongue. somehow, someway and for some reason, casual and activities were being done together again.

but regardless it would always lead and end at sex. the security blanket for the pair of you.

then you showed up at his apartment drunk. not necessarily something new for you, but in recent times you had no reason to drink ━ charles only being on the receiving end of your drunken words when things were sour between the pair of you.

so it was odd, you here practically incoherent when things had been somewhat smooth.

“hi!” you were grinning widely, almost stumbling inside, tripping over your own feet and thanks to his quick reactions times he had ahold of you quickly, a breathy laugh escaping his throat as an arm wrapped around your waist to steady yourself.

“amour how much have you drank?” he couldn’t help but ask as the stench of alcohol hit him, shutting the door as you frowned and leaned into his side ━ unimpressed with the lacklustre welcome.

“a little.” you huffed, head tilting back as you puckered your lips ━ charles unable to hold in his laughter as you desperately looked up at him, the driver pressing a short peck to your lips which had you frowning again. “kiss me properly.”

you sounded like a child, charles laughing and shaking his head. while drunk hook ups were common for the pair of you, they would occur if the both of you were drunk, tipsy more so; alcohol encouraging bad decisions really.

only a few times had he seen you this drunk, although the other times you’d been crying, not giggling or sulking.

“i did.” charles replied innocently, pressing another peck to your lips before attempting to move you to the lounge, a whine being heard from you as you stumbled over your own feet again ━ charles grip the only thing keeping you standing.

“no i want a kiss, a proper kiss,” you huffed, hands pawing at his shirt; his laughter ringing in your eyes as he managed to get you seated on the couch easily, the pout only growing on your lips at the lack of touch from him.

“what the fuck,” you whined, words slurred as you slumped back into the couch, watching as he disappeared into the kitchen. and while you wanted to follow you simply stayed put, head slightly spinning as your eyes focused ahead of you.

“you’re drunk ma chérie,” charles reappeared, glass of water in his hands not that it would do little to help you as he passed it to you, crouching slightly in front of you. “i’ll kiss you properly in the morning.”

the compromise still didn’t impress you, glaring at him as you took the drink, a small sip doing little to take any from the glass before you were attempting to put it on the table, almost falling in the process as charles quickly grabbed it from you and put it down instead.

“big night?” charles hummed innocently, attempting to hide his slight suspicion and curiosity. you didn’t get drunk off your face for no reason, he knew that - well most of the time at least. usually you’d be on the receiving end of his drunk words. or you’d be tipsy and he’d be too, and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other even if you’d be at each other’s throats the last time you spoke.

“i saw mason.” you huffed out, plans on not telling charles completely out the window considering the amount of shots you had done, and you were too far gone to notice the way his face went slack, jaw tending at the mention.

“mason?” charles confirmed, another attempt to not sound as interested as he was; some guilt for probing while you were under the influence. but he knew he didn’t need to question for you to be an open book.

“yeah,” you sighed, eyes shutting now as you leaned back into the couch, sudden tiredness hitting you which had charles snapped out of his selfish thoughts; standing up straight.

he hated that his first worry was still the worst. seeing him again impacted you that much? were you more into him than you let on? he thought you only drunk the pain away when it came to him.

“come on,” charles spoke up again, hands finding your arms and tugging you to your feet, another whine heard as now you were a dead weight in his arms, which had charles huffing ━ how could he forget how difficult you were when drunk.

“was comfy,” you complained, falling right into his chest as he shook his head ━ unable to stop himself from admiring you in the moment, glad you were unaware of the dumbfounded smile on his face as he quickly forgot about the few doubts you had just planted.

“my beds comfier,” charles told you certainly, hands scooping under your thighs and picking you up, your arms and legs, thankfully, wrapping around him happily so he could carry you to his room ━ your small giggle ringing in his ears.

“i know.” your tone was suggestive now, and for your own sake he luckily missed the miserable wiggle of your eyesbrows, regardless he was laughing again, face permanently smiling as he navigated his apartment.

if you were a fly on the wall you’d assume the pair of you were a happy couple, charles playing the role of your boyfriend so naturally, so willing to take care of you in the moment while some could argue it wasn’t his responsibly. but god it felt so right.

“mason thinks i’m stupid,” back to reality, words striking that worry in him that he couldn’t even be effected by your breath on his neck, stilling for a moment in the hallway ━ although he was quick to plaster on his unbothered approach.

“what’d he say?” charles didn’t try to be subtle, reaching his room now as he set you down on the bed; and he was left to hurry in grabbing you a shirt considering you were already headed straight for the sheets, suddenly keen to sleep.

“stupid for going back to you,” you recited his words in a long sigh, charles rolling his eyes with a small scoff that you didn’t pick up as he grabbed a t shirt for you, returning to your side as you looked up at him with big eyes. “no self respect he said.”

charles couldn’t muster any fake smiles on responses, only nodding with gritted teeth and a clenched jaw as he distracted himself with getting you changed, having to do all the work as he rid you of your shoes and tried to get your dress off you.

“told him he doesn’t know what it’s like to be in love,” word vomit, drunken confession that you weren’t phased by in your current state. drunk confessions were more charles things, so he visibly froze mid tug of your dress.

another change, the words didn’t terrify him. didn’t fill him dread, instead just some cheesy warm feeling inside, lips slightly turning upwards as he shook himself out of it. no he could not hold on to your drunk words.

“exactly,” the driver composed himself as he agreed with you, ridding your dress before managing to get the shirt over your head, you lazily raising your arms which was no real help as you gazed at him longingly.

“i do love you.” you sighed, eyes flicking over feature of his face ━ yet your intoxicated mind couldn’t distinguish the twitch of his lips and flicker of excitement in his eyes, or the way his cheeks tinted ever so slightly.

it had been so long since he had heard those words from you, too long. and god it sounded perfect. better than he remembered. for the first time in a long time his first thought wasn’t to tell you that you shouldn’t love him.

“you told me once you love me too much,” you were speaking before he could find the right response; quoting the call he had left you while you were still with mason. “but i don’t think there’s such thing.”

charles raised a brow, wanting to both shut you up and keep you talking, internal conflict as he placed your clothes aside and tugged the shirt down your body.

“what? i just love you the right amount?” charles decided to be playful, grinning which had you grinning as you sunk further into the bed, rolling onto your side to get comfy as you shook your head.

“you just love me.” you yawned, and once more charles found himself smiling like an idiot, attaching himself too much for your words which could not reflect at all where you were currently at but he didn’t care, crawling into bed alongside you after turning the light out. “i hope.” you quickly added.

“i do.” charles barely whispered, although you heard it, not that you’d remember it ━ practically climbing on top of him, getting situated for the night and charles thought he was dreaming. having you in his arms without having been inside of you, cute confessions and admirations being made.

fuck he missed it.

he wanted to do the cheesy thing, test out that popular theory where he spills his love for you when you wouldn’t remember it, but he decided against it.

that didn’t stop the many of thoughts however, he loved you. he wanted this all the time. he wanted you, all of you. again. he needed it actually.

and that didn’t scare him. what scared him was the fact he was thinking like this, scared that this was the beginning of the end once more ━ the start of the arguing once more, hiding feelings and confusion, terrified of being on a different wavelength than you.

so he kept quiet, you seemed to have forgotten of your drunk words, or you were just not mentioning them like he was, charles attempting to run away from his mind which was now almost overthinking every damn interaction.

he’d hold on just that little bit tighter when you were cuddling, stayed in your bed the morning after a few moments longer ━ stall as long as he could when he was in your company.

you didn’t seem to mind either, quite happily falling into both new and old habits with the driver; and once more things were smooth sailing, still uncharted territory being avoided.

then the french grand prix happened. you’d been watching, not that charles was aware you kept up to date with every race, and the sight of him in the barrier was hard enough.

the radio message killed you.

that extent of your frustration and heartache for him made you well aware that your attempts of ignoring your love for him had been to no prevail, wishing for nothing more than to be there for him with open arms.

the selfish part of you worried this could cause him to push you away; it had before, when things get tough he’d either come crawling to your bed or avoid you like the plague to dwell in self pity.

regardless no thoughts stopped you from texting him, something along the lines of ‘don’t be too hard on yourself.’

you were relieved to see him reply later in the evening, a pretty emotionless toned message telling you he’d changed his plans and was flying back to monaco tonight; your heart jumping at the fact he doesn’t seem to have the want to avoid you.

you wanted to be there for him in any way possible.

you asked what time he landed, and when he told you 3am you were suddenly wide awake. you were secretive about your decision in picking him up from the airport, not even considering the fact he may not even want to see you.

so that’s how you ended up at arrivals, one of three people standing there waiting ━ tired eyes and awaiting charles, not at all feeling out of place or as if you were overstepping despite the clear ‘it’s just sex right now’ boundaries.

your small yawns and the lingering want for sleep was the last thing on your mind, eyes glued to the entrance where he should be emerging any time soon.

then he did, your heart aching at the sight of a defeated charles who looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else; sunglasses sitting on his face, mask covering him as well, which he removed both upon realising it was practically empty.

then he saw you, and for the first time since he put it in the wall he found himself smiling, only slightly ━ but it was as if the weight he’d been carrying on his shoulders was just temporarily lifted, a quick numb to the pain he was feeling from your small and sheepish smile.

he fastened his pace ever so slightly, no longer moping as he approached you in the quiet airport, and never had he been so relieved to have his arms around you, a much needed and simple hug as his head fell into the crook of your neck, the pair of you acting on impulse.

“what are you doing here?” he mumbled out, hands tight on your waist ━ revelling in the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp, almost too ashamed to look at you now that he thought about it. being vulnerable with you was usually terrifying as of recent, but right now it felt so right.

“wanted to see you,” you dismissed, pulling back which had charles tensing ━ having felt most content hiding away in your grasp, eyes avoiding yours now that you were only a mere few centimetres apart.

“it’s late amour,” charles huffed; you shouldn’t have been here, he could tell you had sympathy for him. he didn’t deserve it. didn’t deserve any of it, the championship, you; fuck his head was a mess.

you could practically read him perfectly as the thoughts unfolded in his head, watching as he quickly started to feel the urge to push you away as he always did. he didn’t want to burden you with his own issues.

“stop,” your voice was a mere whisper, hands cupping his cheeks lightly to make him look at you. “i’m here. you’re coming home with me. so suck it up,” you told him ━ eyebrows raised as he parted his lips to disagree, clamping them shut as he realised he had no way to.

not when you’d already gone the distance of coming here.

he mustered up an excuse of a smile, and you didn’t mind considering he had agreed. this time last year he probably would’ve ignored you, denied your help and fought back against it even.

silent progress that was somehow being made, which neither of you wanted to address because it seemed too good to be true.

the silence was comfortable on the drive home, despite a couple questions consisting of if he’s hungry, or if he’d rather go back to his.

he settled on your place, deciding he wanted distractions from all things racing. and nothing was a better distraction than you, he’d come to that conclusion many, many years ago.

“i’m not gonna go to bed yet,” charles mumbled quietly as the pair of you entered your apartment, and you only nodded while kicking your shoes off, flicking on the lamp as you didn’t deem the main light necessary.

“we can watch some tv?” you suggested, voice so soft as if anything louder was gonna break him, he knew that wasn’t the case but he couldn’t help but want to seek out reasons to run out on you; but a glance at your eyes and he knew he couldn’t.

“you can go to bed,” charles sighed, not wanting to keep you up as he made his way to the couch; flopping down quite dramatically before his hands were running over his face, events of the day playing over in his head once more. over and over.

“i’m not tired.” a white lie, the sound of the tv filling the room before you were climbing onto the couch next to him, forcing him to lift his hand and open his eyes, met with your small frame next to him, already looking up at him… with tired eyes.

fuck. you were too good for him. life would be a whole lot easier with this sort of support all the time, he had forgotten how natural you were at comfort. comfort beyond sex that was.

you knew he didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t need typical words which had been fed to him all afternoon. head up. quick turn around. you’ll bounce back. don’t let it get to you son.

you knew him. you knew what he needed.

“you’re lying,” charles sighed, yet his arm stretched up and over you ━ conceding and deciding to accept everything you were offering, tugging you into chest and he was almost proud to see the way your lips curved into a small smile at the action.

this was different to the cuddles that come after orgasms. your smile was different too, only small but he found himself smiling too for a split moment.

“maybe.” you yawned with a small shrug, head tilted up and chin pressed onto his chest so you could look up at him, and he felt vulnerable once more under your gaze, his eyes quickly leaving yours as his head fell back.

more thoughts entering his mind. thoughts he didn’t want to be having but fuck his head was stubborn.

“i don’t deserve this.” charles muttered out, bringing a frown to your face as you shook your head ━ which he couldn’t see but he felt it. “don’t deserve to be in the fight for wins, don’t deserve the championship. don’t deserve you.”

you were shaking your head again, a huff leaving your own lips as your hand reached for his face ━ attempting to sway him into looking back down at you.

“yes you do.” your voice was delicate yet stern, sounding so certain he just had to cast his gaze back onto your dimly lit features. “everyone makes mistakes charles.” you sighed, hating that the cliche sentence was leaving your mouth but he needed to hear it.

“i shouldn’t be though.” he muttered out, chewing on the inside of his cheek, your thumb caressing his skin ever so lightly and it was almost enough to have him out of his little self-pity party.

“you learn from it. you’ve proved you can handle the pressure before. can’t base your entire career on one race.” you told him, eyes pouring up into his as you were quick to defend him from himself.

you had the realisation along time ago that only you could criticise charles. everyone else, himself included, wasn’t allowed to do so.

he stared right back at you, your words hitting harder than he wished they did, just another reminder that you really were the one for him. fuck he can’t be thinking like this right now.

he wanted to tell you that i wasn’t just one race, it had been many. he also wanted to point out that it didn’t change the fact that he also didn’t deserve you. which you seemed to have let out. or say he in fact does not learn from mistakes, your relationship clear evidence of that.

“still don’t deserve this… or you,” charles sighed - quieter this time, shrugging ever so slightly as you now rolled your eyes. he expected maybe a nudge, or another stern lecture; but instead he was left to watch as you looked away, cuddled up into his side and got comfortable with your head resting on his chest.

“well you have me.” you mumbled out, as if saying it any louder would make the admission difficult. “whether you deserve it or not, i’m not going anywhere.” you sounded so certain, for the first time in a long time charles hearing you so open while comfortable.

charles not tensing at the admission either, not planning an escape plan or a way to make you hate him so you’d take back your words. instead he was smiling, again, arm tightening around you as his hand went to run through your hair, practically in awe of you on top of him.

you didn’t mind the lack of response, attempting to stay focused on the tv ahead of you that really couldn’t have less of your interest, instead hypnotised by the feeling of charles fingers playing and running through strands of your hair, wrapping them around his fingers before he’d move his hand down your back.

you could’ve felt guilty for falling asleep, but it was all charles needed. you were better than therapy or any mind coach, the first time in hours he felt as if he could relax was with you simply asleep in his arms. he could think straight, focused on you; focused on how this was what he wanted. a few moments of peace from the consistent dwelling and stressing over that one moment in the race.

he felt as if he was stuck in a flashback, the beginning of your relationship ━ where you were the answer to his problems, not the cause. and once more like that night you showed up drunk he felt hopeful, that maybe things have and could change for the better between the pair of you.

you didn’t even stir when he had moved the pair of you to bed, sleeping like a log until you awoke a few hours later, not so bright and early at around 11am.

gathering your surroundings a familiar sense of dread and emptiness filled you upon waking up in bed, vividly remembering falling asleep on the couch. on charles.

he’d left.

your first thought and worry, your eyes quickly squinting before you came to realise the body next to you, peering up to see charles staring up at the ceiling, hands folded behind his head.

“did i wake you?” his voice almost scared you, unaware that he had seen you, a sheepish smile planting on your features as you shook your head ━ almost on cue yawning as you took all of him in.

he looked tired, beautiful; like always, but very tired.

“did you sleep?” you sounded like a concerned mother, and if you weren’t so concerned you’d be stressing over the way you had fussed over him the past 12 or so hours, completely overstepping self-made boundaries but in the moment you had to room to actually give a shit.

“a little.” he had smiled, the smile reassuring you that his mood had somewhat and at least minimally lifted, and the fact he was still here was a good sign; your own head nodding as you adjusted on top of him, giggling at your typical move to get as close as possible, charles showing no complaints as he rested his hands on your back.

“how long are you here for?” you kept the questions light, knowing better than to probe over anything too race related, anything that could have him left with no choice but to dwindle over upcoming races and media duties.

his face still dropped ever so slight at the mention of leaving, he’d happily just hide away in here for all eternity at this stage.

“fly out wednesday,” he nodded pursed lip, eyes drifting back upon the ceiling, deep in thought so you only hummed in acknowledgement, allowing him to think as you got comfortable on his chest once more.

the tapping of his fingers on your back told you he was in contemplation, but you just enjoyed it rather than let your curiosity get the best of you, enjoying the intimate moment that you had so dearly missed, even telling yourself to make the most of it while it lasts.

“would you come with me?” his question had you confused, eyes looking up at him again to be met with his curious green ones, and it took you a few moments to realise what me meant.

go with him to hungary? to the race?

your lack of response had him tensing, your eyes slightly wide in shock and realisation, charles immediately going into damage control mode as he assumed he’d overstepped, read your kindness wrong. a familiar sense of deja vu in him getting too ahead of himself and you fearing him for it.

it wasn’t until his hands left your back and his eyes drifted to his shoes on the other side of the room that you became aware of his worry, quickly shaking your head as you attempted to lean up.

“yeah,” you rushed out, his eyes snapping back to you in skepticism, your lips pursed ━ you hadn’t even thought your answer through and he could tell, the small sigh he let out doing little to ease the nerves that had just appeared.

“i shouldn’t have━” charles tried to back track, and you almost let him. you would’ve let him a few months ago.

your attendance of races wasn’t necessarily smooth sailing, well they were ━ until they weren’t.

when the arguments in your relationship began to become more frequent, they would occasionally occur on a race weekend, to the point charles didn’t want you there anymore.

which didn’t go down well either; the beginning of the end looking back on it, where the real doubts and questions of your future together first settled in.

you couldn’t really argue with him telling you he didn’t want you at races because you stressed him out. it stung however, because while annoying him had become a defence mechanism for you ━ never would you want to effect his racing.

“you want me there?” you sounded wary - cutting him off, almost as if you didn’t believe him and he was unsure how he should answer.

because he wanted you there. he did. but your reaction had him freaked and this was the perfect opportunity to back out on his offer.

“yeah.” charles bit the bullet, studying your face and every movement, attempting to pick up on any give aways into what was going on in your head.

“i don’t want to━ like if, things got rough or if i━” you stumbled over your words, voice timid and charles finally caught up onto why you were hesitant.

you sounded worried, not stand offish. and hearing you doubt yourself almost shocked him, quickly shaking his head.

“all i wanted yesterday was to see you.” charles admitted through a small breath. “moment i got back to the garage, just thought this would be much more bearable with you here.”

fuck you could never resist him when he was vulnerable, and you didn’t want to; quite easily falling into the trap of charles and his sentiment, blind to the risk you’d be taking in trusting him again.

“if you want me there i’ll be there.” you told him quietly, lips curved upwards as you nodded to add confidence in your promise, practically feeling charles tense body go limp beneath you. although doubt still lingered on his features.

“you can say no.” he wanted to reassure, another realisation of just how good you were too him. another reminder as to why he put up with all the challenges and downsides of whatever the pair of you are.

truth was he didn’t want you there. he needed you.

“i’m not saying no.” you replied quickly, a small grin cracking on your features, and the drivers own features were lighting up too ━ a breathless chuckle leaving his lips, one of both amusement and relief as he shook his head ever so slightly.

it was incredible how charles could feel as if he was on such a high in the moment, a subtle one but unexpected none the less, and it only grew as you leaned up to kiss him ━ a soft and slow kiss unlike the most you two have shared as of recent.

the few moments you pulled away felt incredibly cheesy, and you fucking hated cheesy; so did he, but in the moment it felt so right. a few moments to admire him, enjoy the closeness, the intimacy.

charles didn’t want sex to numb any pain. he just wanted to feel you.

“let me thank you,” charles spoke in a hushed tone as he rolled the pair of you over, hovering over you and you were staring at him dumbfounded, as if you’d let him do anything because you would.

“don’t need to thank me,” you almost scoffed ━ but he had cut you off with his lips back on yours, kiss just as passionate as the first, no sense of urgency as your lips moved in sync, your fingers tangling in his hair as he settled his body between your legs, your right one hooking over his hip.

“want to thank you for putting up with me,” charles pointed out as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck, lowering himself down your body ━ hands finding the hem of your shirt. “for being so good to me,” he added, a kiss placed on your collarbone as your breath got caught in your throat. “you’re so beautiful,”

kiss was pressed to your bare stomach now, and you quickly sat up so he could lift your shirt off your body, eyes watching him intently, struggling to think of any appropriate response to his words.

“charles,” was all you managed in a small sigh, unable to look away from his eyes which were peering up at you as he tugged your sweats down your legs, a kiss then placed to your hip and the delicate and soft actions had never felt so good.

“fucking perfect mon ange,” charles couldn’t help but let the praise and admirations continue, and you didn’t want him to stop. his hand pressed up against your clothed cunt, causing your hips to wiggle as a small whine left your lips. “my pretty girl, so fucking beautiful. i’m obsessed with you.”

your body was melting into his touch, one hand gripping your hip while the other flicked over your lace thong that was covering your clit and folds, wetness forming incredibly quickly.

“please,” the plea was weak, and charles soft smile was just as appealing as his usual smirk when between your legs, fingers swiping your panties down your legs slowly before he was kissing up your thighs.

“not gonna make you beg baby,” charles told you reassuringly, watching as you swallowed intently and nodded before he pressed a light kiss to your clit, then proceeding to lick at your folds and entrance.

your head fell back from what felt like heaven as charles got to work, lazily yet lovingly eating you out and god did it feel good, body responding to every touch and movement he made, his eyes never leaving you as you reacted to the pleasure.

his mumbles of compliments and praise didn’t end, constant reminders of how pretty you were, how good you were; how perfect you were.

you could’ve cum on his tongue, but you wanted nothing more than to feel him too with such heavy words and gazes being shared, forcing your head up to look at him once more.

“wanna feel you,” you breathed out ━ mouth hanging agape as charles let out a breathless chuckle against your cunt.

he stayed true to his word, not wanting to make you beg or wait as he detached his mouth from your heat, shuffling up the bed and hovering over you once more ━ sliding his boxers off before hand.

you had reached to the back of his neck and brought him in for a kiss when he was back at your level, a desperate kiss that spoke for itself, cupping his cheeks so lightly as he slid into you, small gasps escaping your mouth and into his.

he was slow with it, making you feel every inch of him as he bottomed out, charles head dropping of the feeling of you around him as a moan left your lips.

“oh fuck,” you whimpered, fingers moving to scratch down his back, charles using one hand to steady himself as the other rested on your waist ━ beginning to move in and out of you with no rush once more.

slow sex was practically unheard for the pair of you, but it felt so good ━ his thrusts still deep as he stretched you out, your eyes fluttered shut as you adjusted to the sensation you’d never get fully used to.

“so good for me,” charles repeated, eyes lifting to look at you ━ your own eyes opening at his words as you offered a lazy smile, one he mirrored as he fucked you, heavy breaths syncing and filling the room.

“feels so good,” you whined out, unable to look away from the man above you as your hand ran over his arm and bicep. “you’re so good.” you reiterated, eyelids heavy before your hand was resting on his forearm.

his hand left your wrist, taking your hand in his and moving it above your head, pinning it to the pillow which gave him leverage, cock somehow going deeper inside of you which had your back arching and eyes rolling back.

“charles,” you moaned his name, charles unable to keep his eyes off you ━ fingers intertwining with yours and the way you squeezed his hand captured his attention more than your walls squeezing around him.

“never letting you go again,” charles was just speaking his thoughts, pressing kisses to your jaw and you were quick to nod. “all i think about amour, just want you,” charles rasped ━ moaning mid sentence and you were whimpering again.

elated from your building orgasm and the confessions of your lover.

“want you too.” you managed to form words, arm stretching above your head where he was holding your hand. “all of you. want it all,” you whispered, eyes rolling back once more as he laid a slightly harsher thrust.

“you’ve got me baby,” he was quick to assure you ━ head pulling up from the crook of your neck, hand leaving yours only to rub his thumb over your cheek. “all of me. not going anywhere this time. promise.”

your eyes opened once more from the contact, the way he was staring down at you telling you all you needed to know, not one bit of doubt in trusting him despite his and your own track record, and you couldn’t find the words to compare.

so you kissed him again, attempting to feel and touch any bit of him you could, the feeling mutual as your bodies moved in sync and in closeness that was almost impossible.

you were lost in one another, losing track of time before you were cumming around him and he released inside of you, moans and praises bouncing off the walls for your neighbours to hear.

never had you felt so content. never had he felt so content either, and where usually this was the stage where past thoughts and beliefs sneaked in, the silence in the room despite your heavy breathing was mirrored in both your heads.

no regrets this time.

━

a/n: sorry this took me 9 years i actually hate my writing it seems :D this is unedited rn bare with me like usual

fourth times the chime though, don’t wanna know how many words i wrote before coming to this ━ and i’m not even fully satisfied with it lols

anyways luvth0t and fluff who would’ve thought 😀

i know i promise more parts then lose interest lol but i do have plans and ideas for a part three, but who knows when i’ll get around to it, bUT if u want more pls let me know cause i just want y’all happy :’) (and i do love this couple as toxic as it is ! )

anyways i hope this somehow lives up to expectation and can follow up sex and regret nicely, the love y’all gave that fic still blows my mind i really love y’all.

as always feedback and interactions are appreciated u all mean the world to me ty ty love u <333

#f1 smut #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc angst #f1 imagine #x reader #f1 #smut #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fic #f1 fic #f1 angst #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #f1 fluff

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tatorthots · 2 years

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Im sad so I take it out on all of you<3

So, I was thinking the pillars (preferably giyu, obanai or Sanemi) discover their S/O is cheating on them, they admit it then break up. Then we basically get to know what they do/feel after said break up. Like, would they deem it harder to kill demons with their mind preoccupied or?-

— to the one who…

Pairings: Giyuu Tomioka, Obanai Iguro, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Tengen Uzui + wives x afab!reader

=͟͟͞͞♡ Warnings: ANGST/no comfort, cheating, suggestive content, dark content, slightly violent underlines (Sanemi), unhealthy behavior, toxic behavior, toxic relationship, unhealthy coping mechanisms, cursing, polygamous relationship (Tengen)

=͟͟͞͞♡ Synopsis: how they handle you cheating on them

=͟͟͞͞♡ a/n: how dare you make me a victim in my own inbox 🤺 literally crying, throwing up and sliding down the wall as I wrote this . btw I tried making each story unique so thoughts anyone?

- ps sorry if Tengens is longer than the rest!! his is basically a 4 in 1! I swear I love them all the same xx

Love is beautiful, isn’t it? How it slowly develops. The way it’s seeds find homes under your skin and bloom into something beautiful. It’s funny, really, how a feeling can so closely resemble a taste. He’d describe it as the taste of fine black tea gently brewed in warm milk and honey. Oh, how his pretty eyes now soften when he hears of love. A feeling he never quite noticed. That was until he met you, and it was then, and only then, that he felt like the balances of his world gained its symmetry, for the world he lived in was now lively and full.

Giyuu

to the one who stayed

Giyuu spent his life observing as the world shifted around him. Idly standing by in the sidelines as the world moved around him. Yet most of all, he spent a lot of time observing you — his most beloved.

So it didn’t take him long to connect the dots. The lingering stares, the way you’d pull away from his touch, the time you exchanged for the company of another, and the sudden to drastic change of detached behavior. It was all silently noted in Giyuu's mind the second he noticed something off. The Water Pillar considers himself a man of logic, he’s not really the type to get caught up in emotion or allow it to cloud his judgment, but god did he try to live in ignorance. Maybe it wasn’t the best or healthiest thing to do but he figured he’d rather live hurt by you than be abandoned. So he made up excuses for you when you’d show up late at night with disheveled clothes and hidden ‘bruises’ on your neck. He’d rationalize when you’d leave him, muttering some quick lie to hurriedly rush into the embrace of another and away from his; even on your anniversary. He’d desperately reason you still loved him— even if you gave him every reason to know you didn’t. For a while, the Pillar started to believe his own lies until he caught glimpse of the way your eyes lit up when he came into range. The same way they used to look at him. No matter what way he’d try to look at it or how he tried to spin it he couldn’t come up with an excuse; deep down in his soul he knew you weren’t his anymore. And deep down in yours, you knew he knew you did too.

But his devotion to you remained stubbornly resilient. So when you’d be off and away from him, he’d spend his time under the Wisteria tree where he first promised himself to you. Reminiscing that day while he twirls a dainty flower between his fingers he glanced down at the empty spot beside him. You used to love visiting the Wisteria tree, smiling and giggling as you rest your back against Giyuus's chest while he held you securely in his arms. Sometimes you spent the time chatting and talking about your goals and ambitions, and others you spent silently listening to the sound of croaking frogs and chirping birds as you gazed up at the petals of the tree dancing in the wind. His heart squeezed in pain at the memory. ‘When was it, y/n?’ Leaning his head back on the tree he shakily sighed, ‘When did you stop loving me?’ Blinking back the tears collecting in the corner of his eyes, he could only stare blankly as the petals swayed in the breeze.

‘Is this what love is? Am I doing this right?’

Some might question or criticize Giyuu for his decision to stay within a relationship that was so obviously toxic. But those people didn’t understand how much kindness and patience you showed the Pillar when you first met. You were sincerely interested in getting to know him and never dismissed or demeaned him when others forgot him on the sidelines all too easily. They weren’t there to see how gently you handled him as you taught him what it was like to love and be loved. And most of all, Giyuu had already surrendered himself to you during a summer festival as the fireworks reached their peak performance. “My life and heart are yours to do what you see fit with.” he’d whispered against your ear before brushing your hair back and meeting your lips with his. He made this promise long before any of this happened, and there was no going back now. The way he sees it, if you trusted someone enough to submit your life to them then it doesn’t matter if one day they burn those bridges with you still on them. It’s easy to see a situation from the outside and direct it from afar but the love you two shared had so much more depth than that. In short, the man adored you, and he genuinely saw the best in you. Until the day you discard him he will continue to love you — devotedly.

It wasn’t until a few days later when you and Giyuu stopped to rest on a bridge in the countryside that he had broken his silence. “Why are you cheating on me?” his tone was flat but held an unfamiliar waver in it. Startled and caught off guard you snapped your eyes from the streaming river underneath to Giyuus's burning gaze beside you. Immediately your face twisted to one of mortification at the realization that you’d finally been caught in your web of lies. “I-I don’t… Tomioka what are you saying?” He winced, hurt by your response, “I know you’ve been having an affair. Y/n please.. be honest with me. Why?” Panic set in as your mind scrambled to come up with an answer but upon peering into your lovers tired eyes clouding with sorrow you eventually sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry.” Looking down in shame you bit your lip to hold back the tremble in your voice. Now wasn’t the time to be the victim. It’s not like your conscious hadn’t been eating you alive each time you’d lay next to your sleeping boyfriend after coming back late from another man’s bed. Or how you’d stare at yourself in the mirror with disgust when your fingertips would trace the hickies and marks left on your skin, you hated how they tauntingly glared at you. But most of all you hated yourself for the way you mistreated Giyuu because of it — projecting your anger onto him and treating him as the traitor.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt cold fingertips caress your cheek and gently move to lift your chin up. Widening your eyes in surprise you felt like absolute shit when you locked eyes with Giyuus sapphire irises peering down at you so lovingly, all the while tears threatened to cascade down his perfect skin. But what he said made you wish the earth could just swallow you whole. “Please don’t be upset, my love.” his voice cooed gently. Moving his right hand he gingerly tucked loose strands of hair back in place while his left delicately held onto the small of your waist to pull you closer to him. Resting his chin on the crown of your head he exhaled quietly in satisfaction. It’d been so long since he last held you like this, he missed it so much. You heard him shift slightly before feeling him place a lingering kiss on the top of your head, “it’s okay. I’d never leave you…” the pain in his voice made your skin burn and your eyes sting as you clutched onto his chest and wailed in frustration; feeling both relieved and furious at how easily he’d forgiven you. The pure love this man held for you was unparalleled to any you’d ever or could ever experience and you simply abused it — you abused him.

Despite ending your affair and spending your time attentively trying to fix the pieces that had been broken, your relationship was never the same. After all, love after betrayal doesn’t necessarily mean the person betrayed remains unchanged.

Giyuu used to be distant from others but now he was almost completely secluded. His rigid attitude turned into one void and emotionless, almost as if he was completely hallowed from within. His work hardly seemed to be affected by this incident, but other Hashiras had commented that even the demons he kills show more emotion than he does. You desperately tried to reassure him of your love for him and whisper tender affirmations each night as you held him in your arms, but it never seemed to help. His touches were cold. They no longer radiated the same warmth they used to when he grazed your skin. He’d still smile at you but they always seemed a little sad. The man who once loved you was now a mere shadow of his former self and it made your stomach twist in regret. Though despite his distant love he’s become clingier than before. Clearly much more insecure than he used to be. When he wasn’t out on a mission he’d often find himself wrapped around your embrace whenever he got the chance, and on other occasions, you’d find him sitting under the Wisteria tree.

The Water Pillar was a broken man before you met him but now his pieces weren’t just broken, they were missing.

Obanai

to the one who blamed himself

You’ve been gone more often than usual — it’s not out of the ordinary to leave home for week long expeditions but you were always fairly quick and efficient with them. Meaning coming home early or on time was pretty normal for you. One might assume that being partnered for a mission might even cut that time in half, but it seemed it only extended it.

He found it rather coincidental that you just so happen to be assigned a partner for this specific mission. The partner in question being a relatively new recruit into the Demon Slayer Corps, not to mention one who caught the attention of one of the other Hashiras. Apparently the Slayer was quick witted and talented which is why he was paired with you — another fellow Hashira. Initially the mission was said to be pretty straight forward: find the demon causing panic and kill it. It wasn’t even ranked as any formidable demon. The mission was set to be a sort of trial run for the new recruit to demonstrate his skills as well as display his adaptability to working with teammates. You were there to analyze his performance and give a verdict to hq on whether or not the recruit was fit to train under the Hashiras. The assignment was pretty simple. So then why were you still gone?

Obanai could be defined as a jealous man at times, he’ll admit that, but after the both of you took your time to slowly build a concrete foundation and form a strong bond his insecurities, inferiority, and feelings of being undeserving all eased in intensity when he finally allowed himself to feel safe in your love. And yes, after hearing you’d be going on an expedition with some stupid prodigy all the other brainless Hashiras were raving about he felt a little uncomfortable but when he saw how giddy and excited you were to be somebody’s first mentor — especially since it was Master Kagaya who assigned you the position himself — he couldn’t find it in himself to voice his concern over some petty feelings of a hurt ego. Which by the way, was really hard to suppress when he caught sight of the guy. He hated to admit but the man had a build similar to Rengoku with a face as ‘traditionally’ handsome as Tengen. It irked him to no end but Obanai trusted you.

Though his trust soon turned into anxiety and then doubt.

Not once did he imagine he’d be suspicious of his lover, or doubt your loyalty, but the unsettling feeling in his gut only got worse by the day and by the following week it felt like his instincts were practically setting off alarm bells that something was wrong. He tried his damndest to rationalize with himself. Maybe he was just overreacting? You’ve never given him reason to question you. Even when Kaburamaru hissed at your touch before departing, he decided to look past it — I mean, you’ve been together for so long, what could change now? So instead he clicked his tongue and busied himself with killing any filthy demons infecting the nearby villages. Maybe your trail had gone cold, or maybe there was another demon unexpectedly lurking in the shadows? You would always tell him everything that crossed your mind no matter how stupid or ridiculous it was, and you’d still diligently reassure him you loved him when you’d catch him staring at his reflection too long. You would never hurt him like that. You were just caught up, that’s all.

But your arrival only made him wish you never came back at all.

Since returning you seemed more fidgety than usual, rigid even. When he asked you how your mission went you laughed nervously, and the moment you went on an apprehensive ramble about the mission, his mind had finally come to confirm what his heart already knew to be true.

“What about h/n.” His eyes narrowed sharply on yours, “You went on a three week long expedition with him yet you haven’t mentioned him once.” His voice trembled at the end, and he felt disgusted by his vulnerability.

“We didn’t talk much.” Your gaze glued to the ground. Obanai studied your shifty form before suddenly turning on his heels and ending the conversation short. He didn’t bother to utter a single word or even glance back at you as you called out to him. Instead his fists clenched and his focus remained straight ahead. He’d like to say it was due to his dignity that he didn’t dare turn back at the sound of your voice calling his name, but in truth it was in fear that you’d hear his voice shake when he tried to speak or catch glimpse of the way his watery eyes betrayed his enraged look.

Upon returning home later that night he immediately sought refuge in the safety of his bedroom. Self deprecating thoughts had been fervently enveloping his mind since he left. Memories of long ago whispering poison in his ears until he picked up the faint scent of your perfume lingering in the air, dispelling the intrusion. From the corner of his bloodshot eyes he caught sight of the promise ring he gifted you — the one he’d kiss on your finger each time he’d hold your hand. Now it sat returned and desolate on the bed. That jade ring used to be a promise of a love that was meant to be forever eternal, but now symbolizes another promise. A final goodbye. With a sharp inhale he stalked over to the bed, wide mismatched eyes glaring down at the thin green band. Snatching it from the bed he crushed it in his palm until it was nothing but dust and grains. “If I am bound for hell then let it be hell. No more false heavens.”

Weeks have passed by since then, but Obanai hasn’t moved on. He decided to leave your life quietly and sever every last thread connecting you to him. When the other Hashiras asked him about what happened he’d immediately lose his temper. His tongue far more venomous than any serpent slithering in this realm of reality. In turn this made being around him all the more difficult. Obanai already held a reputation of being demeaning and demanding, he was cold to anyone who interacted with him but now all those traits just seem to be amplified.

But most notable of all was the image he now held of himself.

Deeply rooted in his soul, the Serpent Pillar never believed he was truly worth loving. He wasn’t born with that right. As much as he hated his family for what they said to him, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t agree. He was doomed to living a life of suffrage and because he allowed himself to feed into the pathetic idea of being loved, he was now facing the consequences of forgetting his place.

So he simply lost himself in going off on mission after mission, not necessarily to take his anger and hurt out on the demons, but to get as far away from you and the corpses of memories haunting the halls back home.

Sanemi

to the one who broke

Sanemi caught you red-handed cheating on him.

Huge mistake for you, fatal mistake for the poor trash currently groping your half-naked body in a secluded area of the woods in broad fucking daylight. Of course upon seeing this, Sanemi’s vision turned red. It was almost instinctual how his body reacted. His mind was blank, he didn’t think of the consequences or the fact he was a Hashira with an image to represent for the Corps., he just… well, reacted. It took no time at all for Sanemi to beat that slimy bastard one punch shy from death. Your cries begging him to stop might as well have fallen on deaf ears because his movements wouldn’t cease until the guys face was bloody and his fists ached from the brute force of him pounding whoever the fuck side piece he found you with. Slowly blinking as he hovered above the guys body he eventually came to his senses. The sound of your voice increasingly grounding him back to the situation he had just caught you in, and that’s when his lilac stare snapped up to lock with yours. Picking himself up he slowly strided towards you — anger and confusion clearly evident on his pretty features until he finally reached you. Extending a freshly bruised hand he roughly cupped your jaw.

“Did ya like it?” He seethed through gritted teeth. His predatory irises narrowed on your puffy eyes as they wet your cheeks with tears. “Was it worth it?”

If you focused closely you’d probably be able to notice the small crystal droplets collecting in the corner of his eyes and the uneven pattern of his breathing. In fact, if you pay attention you might be able to note the underlying hint of pain hidden in his voice. But you didn’t have time to register his demeanor before he pushed you up against a tree with his hand still firmly grasping your jaw and his face inches from yours.

“Fucking answer me.” He growled, almost too pathetically close to pleading, but you simply squeezed your eyes shut while tears continued to stream down.

Your mind ran fervently with embarrassment as you tried desperately to cover your exposed skin — humiliated and ashamed at the compromised position you’d put yourself in. Before this Sanemi had never once laid a hand on you like this, in fact, despite his aloof and aggressive nature, he’s never done anything to purposefully hurt you. The Wind Pillars love has always been loud in its silence — domineering, possessive and rough around the edges sure — but never one someone could question. Many of the other Hashiras even joked about the way Sanemi treated you compared to the way he interacts with other people, how love can truly make the heart grow fonder no matter how stubborn and hot-blooded it’s owner is. It was clear he didn’t simply view you as his but rather viewed himself as yours. Which is why he couldn’t bear to remain in your godforsaken presence any longer. Because that’s all it was, wasn’t it? You were never actually his.

So he released his hold on you and furiously turned to disappear into the creeping veil of sunset.

To say that Sanemi allowed his rage and raw emotions to consume him is an understatement. He went on a complete rampage challenging any demon misfortunate enough to cross his path. He slaughtered and ripped demons apart the same way you did his heart — no, no Sanemi wasn’t cruel enough to match you. For the rest of the night up until dawn, Sanemi remained located in the deepest and darkest parts of the forest until sunlight finally caressed his skin and illuminated the litter of wounds and injuries now decorating his body. That’s when he finally snapped out of his violent dissociation. But he didn’t bother covering his wounds or stopping the bleeding, instead he just picked up his sword from the ground where it laid surrounded by fallen branches and the crimson color wetting it’s blade.

“Shit.” Coughing out a bit of blood he tiredly limped his way back home. Completely void of any emotion at all.

For a moment since the incident, Sanemi felt tranquility, too tired and mentally drained from the night of nonstop fighting but upon reaching his bedroom door it felt as if every raw emotion slumbering under his skin had violently awoken to fuel his veins. But instead of anger he felt despair. Falling to his knees he grit his teeth to keep himself from crying out loud and instead threw his sword to the side only to be startled by the sound of glass shattering. Glaring up in the direction of the noise he scoffed to see he had shattered the mirror you’d placed across the room, now parallel from him. His lips turned into a sneer until he caught glimpse of himself between the cracks of the glass. His whole demeanor seemed primitive and dirty, some of his scars reopened along to what he imagined to be a few new ones and his eyes seemed to stare back but they seemed unfamiliar. Though the most noticeable difference hid within. The numbness of his body reverberated into his heart and the blood of his emotions stained onto his soul, mockingly covering the bit of purity he had left. With nothing left, Sanemi curled into himself with his calloused digits intertwining and harshly gripping his hair. Tears streamed down his dirty face as he felt the last of his compassion slip away from his fingers. The life he felt undeserving of having was so close in reach, he could swear his fingertips felt the radiating warmth of it, but it’s like once his fingertip grazed it, it sealed away further from him than before — forever remaining out of reach.

All he wanted was you.

Sanemi’s prowess in battle is genuinely something predatory — especially given that he has quite the blood-lust for killing demons — but now it seems like a new motive has been added to the mix. His fighting style has always been brutish but never reckless, though now it just seemed like he’d linger a little too long on deaths door before completing his missions. It was a subtle but distinct difference Shinobu had noted since she started to see him frequenting the Butterfly Estate more often.

The Wind Pillars hatred really manifested after your betrayal. He trusted you with his pain and you only hurt him even more. You knew why he was the way he was, you knew why he was so abrasive, violent and dismissive, you knew how he was only terrified of losing any more of the people he loved — yet you still dragged him in the mud and mocked the vulnerability he so fully entrusted to you. You knew. But I guess this should serve as a lesson to the Pillar. Demons and humans cannot coexist, but what then are demons if not former people? How much malice is already burrowed under the surface before turning into the wretched creatures he kills every night? You were a lesson.

The wolf in sheeps clothing.

Tengen

to the ones who reminisce

It’s such a sad misconception to believe infidelity doesn’t exist within polygamous relationships. Though it’s not like you weren’t aware of it. So then what prompts somebody to cheat? Dissatisfaction, neglect, jealousy, lack of intimacy or connection, lack of flair? What was it, what was it that prompted you to cheat on them? What went soo horribly wrong you had to go and do something so selfish.

But it’s also not like the signs weren’t already there in all their deceitful might. They all just couldn’t — or wouldn’t — believe it. You had a happy, loving home with four people who’d give up the world for you. There wasn’t some weird hierarchy in the relationship, everyone was loved entirely and equally. The wives were so kind and welcoming when Uzui first introduced you and it was them who begged their husband to propose to you. Sure the dynamic was a bit strange for you given that polygamy wasn’t something you’ve ever experienced but they all did their best to be as gentle and understanding as possible. Meaning jealousy or miscommunication couldn’t have been the reason for your betrayal. Not to mention that you were also happy — or at least were at some point. You loved Uzui with such a burning passion! Loud and flamboyant, as if the man himself hung the stars in the sky. You loved Hina the way flowers loved the beams of the sun, and just like a tiger lily, you’d always gravitate towards her warmth. You loved Makio as fiercely as a warrior in battle, relentlessly and earnestly — someone worth fighting for. And Suma? The bond you had with her was innocent and childlike, you handled her with care and never once scolded her for her emotions, instead comforting her with open arms.

That’s what made it hurt so much. When did you lose your love for your family? What changed?

It was Suma who first noticed something off about you. It was another day of Makio and Suma arguing over something petty, and as per usual Suma ended up running off to find you. When she found you tending to the garden she immediately tackled you from behind crying about how Makio had been bullying her all morning just because she accidentally dropped the egg basket on the way back from the chicken coop. Her tears and snot was already covering the entirety of your back but instead of cooing words of comfort she heard a small sigh leave your lips. Turning, you held her as she cried on your shoulder but she didn’t feel the same radiating warmth coming from you. In fact, you were hardly listening as she hiccuped through her whines — you were completely zoned out! Lifting her head up to peak at you she caught glimpse of the irritated glint in your eye. A look she’d never seen directed at her before.

Then Makio started to raise some questions. Everyone in the household had a job to do to keep the house running, her and yours was picking up medical supplies from the Butterfly Estate. The errand run was biweekly. You’d go, gather the supplies — maybe chat a bit with the girls while you wait — and then go home. Simple. But lately you’ve been going a little more often than usual. It started when you began making weird excuses, from ‘Oh they forgot to add bandages’ to ‘Uzui went on a mission this week so I’m just going back in case we need more supplies!’. At first she shrugged off the situation, thinking maybe you’ve been more on edge since rumors began circulating about a Upper Moon lurking in the Red Light District, but then she noticed that sometimes you’d come back empty handed, muttering a quick ‘They didn’t have anything…’ before shuffling back inside. Curiously she visited the Butterfly Estate to ask about it and when they said you hadn’t come to pick up any supplies recently it was like an alarm had just been set off.

Next was Hina who noticed something was wrong. It started with nervous chuckles and forced smiles here and there when you’d all be enjoying time together. She caught on at the retracted touches and shifty behaviors — and for some reason you were always tugging and fixing your clothes. She tried asking if something was wrong or if something had been bothering you but you’d always quickly dismiss her questions or get upset with her for ‘always assuming the worst’ and snapping at her for pestering you with ‘stupid questions’. Hurt and confused she’d let the topic go but your reaction just prompted more questions. Her final straw though was when an argument occurred within the group involving Makio and Uzui, and a messy Suma sobbing as she begged them to stop fighting. Moments like these would usually be times when you and Hina would work together as the voice of reason. It was such a relief for her to have someone she can rely on at times like these, especially because you were always so present and patient in the relationship, but this time instead of trying to settle everyone down and find a solution you burst in anger. Callling them childish for their stupid fights and storming off and out of their sight — leaving your husband and wives staring wide eyed as the sliding door slammed shut.

Now Uzui has had his eyes set on you since your behavior shifted. You were smart, cunning, and surprisingly conniving — he’ll give you that. It took him a while to see through your deceit. I mean you were going up against the Sound Hashira himself, despite what he says, he got his position as a Hashira for a reason; you kept your cards close to your chest with him which made this reality all the more heartbreaking because you did it with intent. Uzui loved you so much and when thoughts of infidelity began plaguing his mind he couldn’t help but blame himself a little. Had he not been paying enough attention to you? Were you unsatisfied with his flamboyant boasts of love? Did you realize polygamy wasn’t for you? Were you looking for something more? Something entirely to call your own? But if you were why couldn’t you talk to him about it, why did you have to go and rip apart the home you built with him? After surmising what the truth might be, he took a few days to process the pain and heartache that came at the probability, and as much as he hated it, he indulged his need for you as much as he could until it became unbearable. It's not that he lived in denial, he just truly couldn't wrap his head around his sweet wife doing something so wicked. Even the idea alone sounded so wildly ridiculous to him, that under different circumstances, he would throw his head back and laugh. That was until the cold caress of your touch stung his skin and the absent look in your eyes broke his heart.

Uzui knew then that he had a choice to make.

Tengen isn’t someone who beats around the bush or tip toes over issues. No matter how hard the confrontation is, he’s never backed down from getting answers. It’s just such a shame that he had to take such drastic measures with you. Not only did he need to settle what exactly was going on between the two of you but he needed to answer to his wives. After all, he wasn’t the only one reeling back from this, his wives — your wives — were too. So he waited outside the entrance of the estate for your return and hurriedly ushered you to the seclusion of the garden where he figured his wives wouldn’t be able to hear. You stood nervously in front of him as his eyes narrowed on you and his usual flair of showmanship completely 180’d. Clicking his tongue he tilted his head, “Got something on your mind?” his voice was low. “N-no… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your voice wavered at the end, he noticed. “I’m talking about your cheating, what else?” Immediately your eyes widened at his bluntness; your voice stuttered as you tried to speak but no words came out. You were completely caught off guard and unprepared. Silence filled the room for a minute before he spoke, a dry chuckle croaking out of his chest. “So it’s true, huh?” He bit the inside of his cheek in a desperate attempt to keep his composure but the feelings he’s been trying to keep at bay began bubbling up to the surface. Anger, sorrow, and confusion jabbed at his heart and he couldn’t find it in himself to keep his act. Hearing him take a shaky inhale you hesitantly turned your gaze to him, chest clenching when you caught glimpse of the single tear running down his cheek as he struggled to hold himself together. The sight alone made your own eyes water and your skin burn with shame. ‘What was I thinking?’ blubbering out apologies, your walls began crumbling as hot tears poured down your eyes. Upon hearing your wails and Uzuis voice raising in volume, the three wives came rushing to the source to see what was going on; when they arrived they all paused in their tracks at the scene in front of them. Collectively they understood the situation.

Suma was the first to speak. Her wide blue eyes turned to look at you as her voice barely spoke above a whisper, “Is it… true?” unconsciously her body had began moving towards you, her heart automatically gravitating to comfort her crying wife but as her arm reached out to touch you Makio quickly swatted it away. Looking to her left Suma saw Makio angrily wiping her tears away as she stepped in front of her and furiously glared at you, “Answer her, y/n!!” she roared. Solemnly you looked up at your three wives with puffy eyes pooling in regret, and instantly it felt like their world had stopped. Buckling to her knees, Suma began wailing. Her mind ran in a frenzy, hiccuping cries asking if it was her fault, if she had been too clingy. She caved into herself as she hugged her stomach to calm the nauseating feeling accumulating in her system and in her heart. Makio erupted into a blind rage, enveloping her in an armor of fury to keep herself from breaking. She screamed and yelled at you, calling you ‘heartless’ and ‘a traitor’ in her wake of emotions, even if her voice cracked in between. Hina wept silently in the sidelines, averting her gaze from you and squeezing her eyes shut to try and pretend none of this was happening; desperately she tried blocking out the commotion of raw emotions ringing in her ears. And in the midst of all the chaos it was Uzui who gave the final verdict. Coldly and detached, his maroon irises deadpanned on you before snarling out a single word. A single word that would cut the thread of fate connecting the five of you.

“Leave.”

Seasons have passed since that day and the four have finally returned to their normal routines. Ironically enough, the trauma had brought them all closer together, comforting and checking in on each other attentively as they all tried their hardest to move on. For a while Tengens flamboyance and charisma dimmed. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was because he began struggling with his appetite, or maybe it was because nothing was appealing to him anymore. Hina thinks maybe it’s all three. The Sound Hashira tried to keep his mourning as lowkey as possible, he didn’t want to weigh his wives down or make them worry more than they already do, he knows how hard this is for everyone and he’d rather they focus on their own healing than fret over his. But not everything can be bottled up before it spills and that leak spread all over his work. During his time of grieving, Uzui found it harder to go on missions, he didn’t have the same motivation or flair and he quickly found himself feeling irritated each time he’d take off on another assignment. He hated coming back home after missions most of all, mostly because his thoughts were so consumed by grief that his efficiency in killing demons took a hit and he’d come back home littered in wounds, only prompting his wives to worry about him instead of taking care of themselves.

Over time the group had started to heal little by little and their usual spark had returned. Smiles and laughter echoed through their home and regular arguments between Makio and Suma returned back to schedule. Their little family survived thanks to their endless love and support for one another, but sometimes… sometimes things were still hard. It happens when Hina would be busy in the kitchen, stressed and overwhelmed with balancing both her cooking and Suma making a mess with the flour, she’d instinctively call out your name — pausing before realizing you weren’t.. here anymore. It’d occur when Makio would be out running errands. She’d stop by a snack booth to buy something to eat only to find that instead of buying one steak skewer she accidentally bought two. Staring at the second skewer she’d grit her teeth before angrily throwing it in the woods, muttering it’s only use was for the wildlife to eat. It’d happen for Suma when she’d find herself overwhelmed with emotion. She’d run off from whatever situation she found herself in, sobbing and hiccuping to go find you, running through the halls only to slowly come to an abrupt stop when she’d remember what happened. At times like that she’d hide herself in a closet and silently weep into her hands. Then there was Uzui, the one who seemed most pieced together. It wasn’t really situations or events that still kept him visiting your memories. It was a small picture he kept hidden under the floorboards of his bedroom. A single picture of you smiling on your wedding day, god how you looked so gorgeous, so…. happy.

A sad smile sat on his lips at the memory of the one who wasn’t meant to be.

———

Love is cruel, isn’t it? How quickly it could deteriorate. The way it’s roots latch themselves onto your nerves and bleed when weeds begin to fester like a plague. It’s funny, really, how a taste can so closely resemble a feeling. He’d describe it as the bitter taste of burnt kuding tea carelessly brewed in loss and betrayal. Oh, how his pretty eyes now void themselves when he hears of love. A feeling he’ll never quite forget. That is because he met you, and it was after your betrayal, and only after your betrayal, that he felt the balances of his world no longer held any symmetry, for the world he lived in was now desolate and barren.

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sweetbunnykook · 4 years

Text

Devotion (M)

Word Count: 5,885 // angst (toxic relationship, friends to lovers, yandere behavior, possessiveness, jealousy, mention of physical harm, mention of neglect), smut (rough sex/slight dub-con, fingering, omorashi, asphyxiation, forced creampie), no fluff

Childhood friend!Taehyung X Childhood friend!Reader

Summary: You and Taehyung were inseparable once. When you come back to your hometown after three years, fate pulls you back to him. And this time, Taehyung won’t ever keep his eyes off of you.

Music: X

Winter darkness came early this season. It’s only a few minutes past five and the sky had darkened and streetlights casted a deep orange hue over semi-empty cobblestone paths. The streets are almost silent except for the faint piano music wafting out into the cool air from restaurants and cafes lining the streets. You keep your fists deep in your coat pockets but the numbness persists. You never thought your hometown would look the same after running away at age twenty with nothing but clothes and a roll of cash – his cash – in your bag. Now, at twenty-three, you wondered if you made the right choice, if the yearning that slept deep in your marrows was the reason why you’re glued to the ground in front of the café you had your first kiss in.

You never thought you’d see Taehyung again – assuming he left not long after you did – but here he is, sitting near the bar with his long fingers grazing over the rim of his whiskey glass. He chuckles at something the bartender says, takes a drag from his cigarette, but his eyes are sad and his smile fleeting. His hair grew longer – past the tip of his ears – and he looks overall larger than life. He’s wearing the coat you bought him for his birthday and you’re wearing the knitted plaid scarf you stole from his closet before leaving. It doesn’t smell like him anymore. It doesn’t smell like his warm cigarettes and aftershave and it takes all your might to not walk in and put your arms around from behind like you used to do when he comes back from work.

Your heart wants him. It craves him. It has spent many nights in your chest begging you to call him and apologize to your tormentor who kisses you while keeping a noose wrapped around your throat. Your Taehyung, your lover, your captor who gave you everything including his own fears.

He doesn’t know why he is the way he is and you can’t find it in yourself to ask. You just know he was easily scared of losing you. The day you found your intimidating and loving boyfriend in your classmate’s house, hovering over the poor boy with his blood-stained knuckles in the air, was the day you knew your love for him isn’t enough to keep himself from hurting himself or others.

Just a moment longer. One moment. You want to stay in the cold for just a moment longer and admire how beautiful he looks without you even if the bags under his eyes are deep and his downturned lips are set in a permanent frown.

Just one moment. Just until he swings the shot of whiskey down his throat and asks for another.

You exhale into the scarf wrapped around your lips.

“Taehyung…” you whisper his name into the cashmere wool.

As if he’d heard you, Taehyung briefly glances up at the bartender and you hold your breath, thinking he would turn his head towards the window. He doesn’t and instead stares straight ahead, the cigarette hanging loosely between his lithe fingers falling into an empty dinner plate. Your heart leaps in your throat when he doesn’t move, the finger over the glass paused, his lips falling just slightly. It’s not until you look over at where he is staring that you stumble back a step, meeting his eyes through the angled mirror that gives him a direct view of your figure through the window. His gaze pins you to the floor; you’ve seen it many times in your dreams but in real life it feels like needles down your throat.

When he moves from his seat you tighten your hand around your handbag and run, your lungs burning in the cold as you stumble through the blanket of snow in your heavy boots. You don’t turn to look, not when you can hear the faint bell of the café door opening and your name hollered in that deep, baritone voice that makes your insides clench. He sounds just as guttural as the day he was covered in blood, shaking his head and whimpering your name when you kneel next to your wounded classmate, annotated papers strewn across the broken furniture.

You turn into an alleyway, looking around to see if there is a place you can hide or crawl under.

You’re stupid.

So fucking stupid.

The footsteps grow louder in the darkness the faster you run into the alleyways. The smell of smoke and dirt making you hold your breath as you turn another corner only to face a brick wall and a line of abandoned bicycles. Screaming for help is no use in this part of town.

Your toes curl in your boots as the footsteps grow louder and louder before stopping just a few feet from where you’re standing. Taehyung can see you tremble softly under the small lightbulb from the back of a dormant restaurant building and he is in disbelief.

You, who had torn his heart out of his chest, had the nerve to run away at the first sight of him.

Again.

“Turn around.” He breathes into the air. His voice is shaking, from anger or from desperation, you can’t tell. “Right now.”

You can’t move. You can’t breathe. You certainly can’t run past him. Taehyung has always been stronger and faster, even when you had pulled him away from bullies when you were both children. Even when he had let you ravish him, let him drown in ecstasy underneath as you rolled your heat into his pistoning hips, you can feel his strength. You can feel his capacity to easily turn pleasure into pain.

“Turn the fuck around!”

You wince at his voice, your tear-streaked face disappearing further into the scarf.

When you fail to obey, Taehyung walks forward and grips the top of your arm, his large hand easily wrapping around your limb. He brings you to him, wrapping his arms around your shoulder and neck this time as his whiskey breath hits your face. He breathes in the scent of your perfume when he presses his forehead to the top of your head.

You changed so many things about yourself when you left him. The color of your hair. The shade of lipstick you wore. The dresses you adorned. The thick rimmed glasses you exchanged for contacts. The one thing you didn’t have the heart to change was the perfume he loved to smell in your hair. The faint smell of roses and musk that kept his sanity intact when your eyes lingered too long on another man or when you scream and shout at his reasons for locking you in the bedroom after working so hard to earn your first job.

“Do you have any idea how much I missed you?” He whispers, tightening his hold around your body as if you were an illusion that could disappear any moment. “I looked for you everywhere. Everywhere, baby, everywhere…everywhere…”

You remember. The cries your neighbors in Denmark had to endure when Taehyung’s brother informed you that he crawled on his hands and knees in front of your injured classmate’s porch, hoping that if you saw how apologetic he is you might come back. The police had to drag him away on the third night.

“I’m sorry…” you breathe into the scarf, your shaking fingers coming up to grip his caging arms.

Maybe you wanted this to happen. You stayed another second longer, just another second longer, in front of that café window hoping that he would turn his head. You held your hand over the candle when you know it’d hurt you in the end.

“Don’t run away from me again, baby. Don’t you fucking dare or else I’ll go crazy,” he sobs into your hair. His hold is tighter and your heart is bleeding just like it had when you left. “You’re the only one...”

He pulls back and tugs the scarf down to see your face. You, his moon, his love. Your wet cheeks are still full and soft, your eyes as dark as the night sky, and your lips still swollen and wounded from your habit of digging your teeth into your skin when you’re nervous. You sniffle slightly in the cold and in such close proximity you can’t bear to look at him in the eyes until he takes your face in his big, cold hands and angles you to meet his lips.

You taste the cigarettes and the whiskey. Beyond his tongue, you taste his yearning and pain. You taste the nights he spent lying in bed with the dresses you left behind. You taste his appetite to hurt something – someone – when he comes back to a barren living room from work. You taste his seething, heartbreaking anger that enslaved you as the lover who needed to look at him and him only.

Despite the harshness of his tongue, above all cries, you taste home.

…

The apartment would have looked nearly identical as before had he expected your arrival. Stepping in, you’re hit with the smell of alcohol and leftover pizza on the kitchen counter before you witness the broken television and shards of glass from empty picture frames and bottles. There’s new workout equipment in the corner where an old, broken player used to be. Whatever cleaning he had done in the past three years was minimal. The only object that looked cleaner – polished even – than before was the snow globe with two angels in the center. You had gifted the little globe during fifth grade, gathering coins from underneath couches and stealing a few dollars from your father’s wallet.

Taehyung reaches from behind and underneath your armpits to undo the buttons of your coat and pull it down your shoulders. You turn your head away from the living room and let him without complaint, knowing from his trembling fingers that he’s holding back his unease.

He doesn’t have to say anything. Just from the sight of the place you once called home, the broken shards told you everything you needed to know.

Taehyung’s fingers pauses on the scarf around your neck. Moving your back to lean against the wall, you peek at his face through your lashes and look back down again when his piercing eyes meet yours once more.

“If you still loved me, why didn’t you come back earlier? Why leave in the first place?”

He tugs the material free from your neck and wraps the scarf around his hands before hooking it onto the coat rack next to the entrance. The light switch lays just underneath the rack but he shows no desire to reveal the extent of his anger just yet.

“I was scared.”

“Of me?”

You nod. “Of you and of myself. Of us. Together.”

Taehyung doesn’t comment, merely watching your wet lashes glimmer in the darkness as it catches the hue from the streetlights outside the window.

“D-Did you…see anyone else a-after I left?” You ask him in that soft, airy voice that you used to soften his heart when he’d get upset. Old habits die hard.

He squints just slightly before tracing the back of his teeth with the tip of his tongue, his arms coming to cage you further against the wall.

He contemplates lying.

He wanted to hurt you as much as you’ve hurt him. He wanted to watch your brows come together and fat globs of tears roll down your cheeks as he tells you he would bring women who looked like you in this space and made love to them. He wanted the satisfaction in feeling your fists pound his chest when he tells you he came inside them with a satisfied groan against their ear. He wanted to tell you he’d fall asleep with them in his arms and he’d lick every inch of their skin like he had done to you. It would be all a lie, but he wanted to. He really wanted to fucking tear your heart apart even if it’d feel like he’s tearing his own.

No matter how much he desired it, he couldn’t do that to you. Even when he knows without you telling him that you made love to other men in whatever place you ran off to, he couldn’t do that to you. Because he’s always known he loved you far more than you loved him.

“No, I didn’t.” He says and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

Taehyung takes your hand and puts it on his chest. His wristwatch ticks against your skin like a beating heart.

“Take off my coat.” He commands.

You undo the knot around his waist with a small tug and let the black coat fall open. Taehyung hisses underneath his breath when he feels your hands flatten over his pecs and up his shoulders, peeling the heavy coat off of him until he draws his arms down and let the fabric fall onto the ground. He’s broader than you remembered him and so, so much larger in presence like he’s engulfing your entire being whole. He’s wearing a plain white button down with a pressed pair of black dress pants and a matching belt just like the time you left him on such an ordinary day.

His skin is warm underneath the shirt and you can faintly trace his strong arms and shoulders before wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your cheek on his chest. You close your eyes and breathe – in and out – gradual and rhythmic and soft. He can hear you whispering his name underneath your breath over and over again like a prayer, like he’s your religion and you found your way back to him to repent for your sins.

You don’t get the chance to tell him you want to stay with him forever when he suddenly takes your wrist from his waist in a vice grip and pulls you into the apartment, not looking back when you stumble and fall on your knees. He half-drags you into the open bedroom and throws you onto the bed before looming over your curled figure as you rub your sore shoulder. The bed smells like you and it takes a moment for you to see your dresses laying across the pillows and blankets until you’re forced to tear your gaze away as Taehyung wraps his hands around your ankles and pull you towards him.

“Tae!” You squeal when he leaves hot, wet kisses down your cheeks, jaw and throat and nips at your skin with his front teeth. Your skin prickles with sweat and your shoulder still aches from his relentless pulling.

The room is stuffy and you struggle to catch your breath with the windows shut and sheer curtains drawn. It’s stuffy most of all with the memories it held of Taehyung bringing you a heating pad during your periods, tending to your hands when you burned yourself making dinner, watching movies with a secondhand projector on the opposite wall, and stealing each other’s popcorn because you always finish your share before the movie starts. The little things that leave such heaviness in your lungs.

Taehyung’s hands are shaky but firm as he reaches underneath your knitted dress and tugs your panties down your hips along with your stockings. Because you’re still wearing your boots, Taehyung doesn’t wait until he buries his face into the crotch of your panties pulled down to your ankles and licks your essence off the fabric onto his tongue, sucking the satin clean before finally unlacing your boots blind with sharp, uneven tugs and peeling them off your ankles. The shoes fall to his feet with a thump and your panties, along with your pantyhose, falls onto the leather not long after.

He doesn’t recognize this attire and it makes him grip the softness of your thighs harder when he imagines yourself or any other man buying you these dresses. It has always been his pleasure to see you dressed in his money. He’d made a promise to be your provider when your parents threw you out of the house as a teen and out of their lives with nothing but a backpack on your shoulders.

As soon as he brings back your luggage from the worn-down hotel you’ve been staying, he’s throwing every dress he doesn’t recognize into the raging fireplace.

Taehyung pops the top button of his shirt and reaches behind him to drag the cotton over his shoulder and head. His skin glows like molten gold and the silver chain hanging from his neck, curving just slightly over his collarbones, sways with his calculated movements. At the end of the chain is the ring from a cracker jack box you’d engraved with a pocketknife.

So many fragments of your relationship with him surrounds you yet you gathered the courage to leave all those years ago. Three long years it took for you to realize you preferred to be in his arms than be free anywhere else. In his shackles you feel safe. In his shackles you feel loved. Your freedom had its own shackles too – putting on pretenses in front of strangers, trying to meet the expectations of men who could never love you like Taehyung does, molding yourself to fit into who you could be rather than who you really are. Taehyung’s shackles feel like jewelry, like luxury, like comfort.

“Did you think about me?” He runs his warm palms up and down your calves, kneeling between your legs as you squirm on the edge of the mattress.

“Every single day. I missed you…I w-wanted to call but…” I was scared you were going to hurt me like you hurt the people around me.

He doesn’t comment and for a moment you wonder if the years of anger he had built inside him will rush forward like water bursting from a dam. It was strange how you are the same, vulnerable person after all these years despite changing nearly every part of your identity.

When he looks up your heart leaps to your throat. If it were physically possible, Taehyung’s eyes would turn into steel with how hard, how piercing, his gaze is as if he intends to burn holes into your skull. Despite the glare that steals air from your lungs, he’s still beautiful with his uneven eyelids, thick straight eyebrows, chiseled cheekbones, and a prominent cupid’s bow.

“You’re not leaving me again. You hear me? You’re not taking one single step out of this room until I say so. I,” he grits his teeth, tightening his grip around your calves enough to bruise. “don’t fucking trust you anymore. You destroyed us.” His voice is harsh, labored, full of agony. “You destroyed every fucking thing we built together just because I allowed myself to love you.”

“I know, Tae, I know,” you bring a hand over your lips and stifle a sob. Taehyung’s hard gaze falters slightly upon seeing your sadness otherwise his face remains promptly emotionless. “I’m sorry. I’m s-sorry I left, I d-didn’t know what to do. I just…I’m sorry, Taehyung-ah.”

He takes his hands off of you and places them on the edge of the mattress next to your knees, gripping the plushness with all his might.

“You’re not leaving me.” He repeats as if he needed to convince himself more than he needs to convince you.

You shake your head. “I won’t. I swear.”

“If you do this again…something bad will happen. You know that, right? I won’t let you walk away. I can’t let you do this to me anymore, baby. I…haven’t I suffered enough?” He asks and it makes you wrap your arms around his neck and pull his lips towards you. He devours you like he needed you to breathe. It was obvious he was suffocated in this little apartment just as much as you suffocated in the little den back in Denmark, struggling to make it to the next month.

“I love you so much,” you whimper against his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue. “I’m here, Tae. I’m home.”

Your boyfriend groans as he pushes you back onto the mattress and hovers over your body with his knees on both sides of your hips. You bring your legs back, curling them towards your body before hooking it around his toned waist. The warmth that solely belonged to him, you didn’t know how you survived without it. His tongue roams your entire mouth from the back of your tongue to your teeth. You wince just slightly when his fingers trace your slit underneath your red dress, gathering the wetness over your swollen clit in slow circles then moving down to your throbbing core.

“Is this all for me, baby?” He whispers into your mouth as you snake your fingers into his deep chocolate brown tresses and brush his long hair back.

“All for you. I belong to you, Tae, I always have.”

He tsks, watching your hooded eyes suddenly widen and your mouth fall open into an ‘O’ when he impales his index and middle finger into your soaking pussy to the hilt. You had forgotten how long his fingers are until he’s deep inside, until he pushes so hard against your walls that you can feel him from beneath your skin. Your cervix probes his fingertips back and it makes you squirm and wince as he curls his fingers inside and lightly digs digits into your walls. You’ll take the pain with grace.

Your trembling hands reach down to wrap around his wristwatch, slightly wet with your juices trailing down the length of his palm.

“Please, Tae,” you plead, squeezing his wrist. “I want you.”

His fingers move slowly against your walls, leaving you panting and soaking your dress with sweat. He makes no move to be merciless and instead pushes his fingers incredibly deep until your opening burns. He keeps his fingers inside while he undoes his belt, the clinking of the silver buckle raising goosebumps on your skin. All those times he bent you over the kitchen table and lash you across the ass with the belt for blushing when you enjoyed the attention of another comes rushing back, your insides gripping the contours of his fingers as he moves his fingers up and down. Lewd squelches from between your legs make you turn your head away in embarrassment but Taehyung won’t take your disrespect. Not anymore.

You’re left unfilled when he slips his wet fingers out and places them in his mouth to suck, eyes rolling back and his smooth naked chest heaving at your scent. He’s brought back to reality when you work to remove his belt, your palm kneading his throbbing hardness as you unzip and peel his pants open as far as they can go to reveal his boxer briefs. His cock bulges through the dark fabric and you can lightly feel the trail of dark pubic hair above the base. In the silence of the room you relish in his labored breaths and the rustle of clothing. It’s a sound you longed to hear when you’d spend numerous night with your fingers in your panties in your lonely, cramped apartment, fingertips rubbing circles around your clit until you leak all over the vibrating dildo shoved inside.

Taehyung pulls the belt free from his hips and makes you sit up to wrap the belt around your neck like a scarf before lacing the leather back into the buckle and then tightening the loop. He places two fingers underneath where the belt meets your neck to make sure you’re safe. Even with anger radiating off every pore, he cares about you, loves you, wants to please you.

“Okay?”

You nod, palming him and wrapping your fingers around his thick, pulsing length leaking pre-ejaculate through the fabric. He admires the need in your tear-filled eyes and twists the length of his belt around his fingers before pulling you up, earning a whimper as your hands immediately move to your makeshift collar.

The fact that other men had seen you in this position kills him.

Taehyung pulls the thin straps down your arms and peel your dress down to your ankles. You’re not wearing a brassiere and he suppresses a smile. You’d often lounge wearing his shirts in the living room, your perky little nipples peeking through the cotton, all ready for his greedy mouth to latch onto.

When you kick the dress away from your ankles and bring your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around yourself, Taehyung takes the chance to kick off his shoes. He’s too impatient to remove his slightly tight slacks and black socks, choosing to give all his attention to you instead.

“You’re really here,” he breathes, eyes glazed over in remembrance of you over the years.

It started with kisses in cafes while studying together; at the time, he hardly knew how to kiss and knew less about the feeling deep in his belly. Kisses turned into roaming hands, his fingers disappearing under your panties and yours under his jeans. You lost your virginity to him – and his to you – in the backseat of his car after graduating in which half the time was him struggling to put on a condom while your laughs made him giggle along. He had always been yours, and you his.

You couldn’t accept that Taehyung is no longer the boy you used to know. While he accepted your changes and made peace with your mercurial ways, you couldn’t do the same for him.

“I want to show you how much I missed you,” you bring his hands to your face and rub your cheeks into his palms like a kitten.

Taehyung melts, his tired smile plastered on his face as he pushes the dresses on the mattress away and lays next to you. You know what this meant. He wants to watch you come undone, watch you mold into his body as your spine arches and he can tighten the belt around your neck as you spill onto the sheets. You reach down and slide your hands under his pants, gasping slightly when your hands wrap around the girth of his cock. His hips jolt when you run your thumb over his weeping tip and smear precum down his thickness. Taehyung turns you away from him, his perspired chest sticking to your back, and brings your hips towards his lap until he can slip his cock between your folds.

Heat blossoms on your cheeks when he pants lightly in your ear, breath hitching as he slips the tip of his cock into your entrance before ramming his entire length without warning.

“Ah!” You grip his iron arms secured around your waist. He pushes his cock further until he’s fully nestled in your warmth.

“Ung, baby,” he hisses, sliding his left arm underneath your head to reach the end of his leather belt. He wraps the leather around his fingers twice and brings the belt back to him as he pushes your spine away from him in an arch.

He begins moving, his hand around your waist slipping down to your clit as he rubs coaxing circles while pulling the collar back to compress your jugular. In the dark, cold bedroom Taehyung makes you feel every inch of himself inside your starved pussy. Your vision is filled with spots and every nerve in your body curls and bows to his carnal hunger.

“Please…please, Tae, please…” You beg as he pounds without giving you the luxury to adjust to his thickness, tight balls clenching further as he grinds his hips into your little hole.

You cum immediately, legs twitching as you sob his name and curse under a single breath, the wetness from your folds coating the base of Taehyung’s twitching, loaded cock. When you gurgle and cough, he loosens his grip on the belt and listens to you heave, watching your arms pull you up and away from him as you get on your hands and knees to take bigger breaths. You palm your lower abdomen with the heel of your hand, the ache making your head turn towards the pitch-black bathroom connected to the bedroom. Not only did his penetration burned your entire lower body, but you can also feel the pressure inside screaming at you to run to the bathroom.

You underestimated how cruel Taehyung can be. With teeth gritted, he suppresses the need to cum, and bring your hips back towards him to slip his cock back into your battered pussy. You’re tighter after cumming and it takes every ounce of his energy to not spill his load inside then and there.

“T-Taehyung I need to go to the b-bathroom,” you pant as you sweat from the pressure building even more in your lower region.

He doesn’t reply, only spreading your legs further with his knees and grip your waist before impaling you onto his cock over and over again until you slump back down to the mattress.

“It aches,” you breathe as Taehyung throws his head back and closes his eyes, plunging with the ferocity of a man possessed. He finds the end of his belt curled on your back and pulls, yanking your neck back and curving your entire body to take his length. He hardly prepped you enough and he did so with purpose, with the intent to make you release in more ways than one. “T-Tae, I can’t…Taehyung!”

His hips move quicker and the sound of skin slapping skin echoes along with his deep, guttural groans.

“Give it all to me, baby,” he snaps, falling forward to pin your body beneath his as he pistons his hips like a demented animal. You can breathe now but your vision is still hazy and your breathing labored. You can’t move your arms with Taehyung’s hands wrapped around your wrists in a vice grip above your head. “Do it for me.”

When your legs convulse underneath and a scream rips from your throat, Taehyung leans his damp forehead on your shoulder and spills his seed inside. You swear you can feel every lash of his load against your walls. Your ears ring just as you reach your high once more, neck arching back, nose in his hair as you spill your wetness over the sheets along with warm urine that stung as it leaks down to the dresses below. This was his intent all along – to claim you and to humiliate you into accepting that he will take your body as he wishes.

Still, the embarrassment makes you bury your face into your arms and sob.

“You did so well for me, baby,” Taehyung exhales against your jaw and takes your earlobe in his mouth, suckling gently before running his wet tongue over the shell of your ear. You squirm in his grasp, feeling as if your bones had turned into jelly.

Taehyung reaches down and runs his fingers gently over your pussy, rubbing the wetness over your pubic curls before leaning back on his heels to look down at the soiled dresses beneath your thighs. The warmth of your urine no longer lingers and instead you’re left shivering with the collar still tight around your neck.

He takes a clean dress from behind and wipes your fluids from his semi-hard cock and thighs before wiping between your inner thighs and folds. You’re quiet, toes curled as he works his way down to your knees where your urine trailed. He rolls you to the side, gently, and gathers the wet dresses in his arms before stepping away from the bed and dumping the mound of fabric into a half-empty laundry basket.

He then takes a towel from the shelf and disappears into the bathroom. You can hear the faint sound of water running as you reach up to undo the belt from around your neck and let the leather fall onto the floor with a clatter. Taehyung would prefer to remove it himself, but he doesn’t complain when he comes back with a warm, damp towel and wipes your cheeks and neck before roughly wiping down your body.

The smell of sweat is heavy in the air but it feels rather comforting to know you can be disgusting with him and still wake up loved in the morning.

You keep your eyes trained on the ceiling until Taehyung pulls you up to the pillows once the top half of the bed is clean, molding his body to yours as he buries his face in your hair. He inhales slowly, arms locking around your body and keeping you caged inside his embrace. Only when you lean into his chest does he bring a blanket over your body and his and tuck you in.

“Are you hurt?”

You shake your head, eyelids heavy.

The room is even quieter than before. It feels serene under the blanket since nothing strange has ever happened when you’re safe in his arms.

“I missed you,” you murmur, your fingers twirling his necklace on his chest. “So…so much.”

Taehyung’s voice is hoarse when he speaks. “I never left. I’ve always been here.”

You blink, training your eyes on the broken chess pieces scattered on the floor, and close your eyes. No more lonely nights. No more haunting dreams.

…

‘What’s that?’ Taehyung pouts when you stand in front of him with a small box behind. Every time he attempts to look around your figure, you turn to hide it behind your puffy white skirt. He was really starting to get pissed off and the playground is growing louder with more lousy children interrupting his time on the slides with you. The fifth grade class is the largest in the school after all and there’s only so many slides to go around.

‘You have to guess!’ You insist, keeping the box behind you still.

Taehyung’s frown deepens and then he tucks his bottom lip under his teeth, turning away in a haughty manner with his nose turned to the sky.

‘Whatever it is, I don’t care.’ He says, stepping closer to the slides, but regrets it immediately when your eyes fill with tears and your hands fall to the side. You know he hates being teased, but he knows you love to keep him waiting.

He looks down at your hand to see a box with a picture of a snow globe plastered on the cardboard.

His mouth opens and close like a fish as he contemplates apologizing but he ends up walking up to you and putting his sticky hands on your face instead, tilting your face up to him. You don’t say anything before dropping the present on his shoes and dashing away, maneuvering through the monkey bars and sandboxes with your skirt floating around your knees.

Taehyung kneels and takes the box in his hand, shaking the package until the globe falls into his palm. There it is, the two angels and the glitter particles swirling around them, the very object that he admired in the book fair yesterday. He turns the globe around in his hands, careful, until he reaches the writing written sloppily with a sharpie pen on the glass.

‘I like you’

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