#too bad but it's the life you lead you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need ??????

[cinnamon-notes]

billy joel why did you have to attack me that piercingly when you released vienna ???

[mingkiyoo]

about time (j.yh)

summary ⇢ your longtime boyfriend breaks up with you on your anniversary night. you go over to yunho’s apartment to seek comfort from him while you drown your sorrow away with alcohol. one thing leads to another, and you find yourself in an awkward situation with your best friend.

pairings ⇢ yunho x reader

genre ⇢ best friends to lovers; slow burn; non idol au; suggestive, heartache, smut, fluff, comedy

note ⇢ 18+ content, minors DNI. // this is my first ever fic so i hope it’s not too bad. i just can’t get over sweet bestfriend yunho secretly harboring feelings for y/n >////< please like and reblog if you love it <3

warnings ⇢ best friend!yunho, fem!reader, drinking, y/n’s ex-boyfriend fell out of love, yunho is kind of a player (no focus on this), sexual frustration, big dick!yunho, hand kick, oral (f receiving), fingering, semi rough sex (protected). other side characters’ names will be familiar—it’s purely coincidence and in no way intended to represent the idol. i feel like i’m missing something so please let me know!

word count ⇢ 9.8K

—

“That jerk!” You scowl as you reach for the bottle of merlot that was sitting on the coffee table to get a big sip. “How dare he break up with me on our anniversary?”

Yes. Today is your anniversary with your long-time boyfriend, Jin. You've been dating since freshman year in college. Jin is the man of your dreams, the love of your life. It's a little disappointing that you're not married to him at this point in your relationship.

He was promoted recently to a regional manager position at his company, and he's gotten busier since then that it's so hard to spend time with him. There had been months when you never saw him in person, and you were limited to only video calls and texts because he went on too many business trips.

When you got a call from him yesterday morning and he invited you to go out to dinner with him tonight, you were elated. It's been so long since the last time you went on a date. You can't help but smile at the thought that despite his busy schedule, he remembered your anniversary.

The possibility of Jin proposing tonight entered your mind, but you quickly pushed it aside. You didn't want to get ahead of yourself.

But what if he does?

“I'm thankful for all the years that we were together,” You recall him saying earlier tonight.

After a nice dinner at your favorite fine-dining restaurant, he offered to drive you home. You were sitting in his car in your driveway. Jin was looking everywhere except at you as if he was searching for the right words to say next. “... but I think it's better for the both of us to grow separately from here.”

You felt a knot form from within your stomach. You’re tempted to ask a question you’ve been meaning to ask all this time but can’t bring yourself to.

But if you don’t ask now, you might never get another chance.

“Was it your assistant?” Jin didn’t reply. And you knew that was his answer.

Yunho caught your wrist and took the bottle of wine from your hand. “That’s enough. You’ve had way too much to drink.” He was sitting right next to you on his couch, but he got up to take the alcohol as far away from you as he can.

You whine as you hug your knees to your chest and bury your face on them. As soon as Jin left after he dumped you, you whipped your phone out and dialed Yunho’s number in a hurry. The last thing you wanted was to be alone tonight so when he answered after the second ring, you immediately asked him where he was and if you could go over to his apartment, cry your heart out as you drown your pain away with alcohol.

“I’m outside but I can meet you at my apartment in 20.” You heard Yunho say amidst the noise from the bar you assumed he was hanging out at. It’s Friday night. Of course, your hot best friend would be out in a bar. He was probably flirting with a cute girl when you called. You felt bad at the thought. You didn’t want to spoil anybody else’s night just because yours was terrible.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your Friday night,” You were fighting back tears and trying so hard not to sniff on the phone and give away the fact that you’ve been crying. But Yunho noticed. He always noticed.

“Everything okay?” Yunho asked. And right there, you let it out. “No.”

You feel a spot on the couch next to you dip as Yunho comes back to join you. His presence always has a calming effect on you. Aside from the fact that you didn’t want to be alone tonight all heartbroken, you needed emotional support. Being your best friend for as long as you have been with Jin, Yunho is the only person in this entire universe who can give you that comfort right now. With gentleness, Yunho places one large hand on your back and starts to soothe you.

“Am I ugly?” you slur at your words. It’s not a real question. Yunho’s right. You had way too much to drink and now it’s catching up to you.

“Are you what?” he sounds surprised. There’s a hint of humor in his tone.

“I don’t think I’m ugly?” you can feel your world spiraling. You place both hands on Yunho’s shoulders hoping that it will help steady you. “I mean—I’m not the prettiest girl in the world, hell, not even in this room and there’s only you and me here. But I think I’m decent?”

“No! Hell no!” he exclaims, shifting in his seat to get comfortable in front of you. “Of course, you’re pretty.” His other hand moving towards your face to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “Not as pretty as me but so is everyone else.”

You chuckle and hit him on one shoulder. He’s not wrong. He’s absolutely beautiful. His kind eyes, round and dark brown in color—no one will ever guess that he sleeps around. He’s tall and even though he doesn’t have an overly muscular body, he looks strong. He towers over most of his guy friends. He’s an attractive man. You always found him attractive. You would’ve dated him if he wasn’t such a player.

Yes. Yunho is a player—a pleasure-seeker—as he likes to put it.

Aside from the fact that he’s hot—yes, as much as you hate to admit it—Yunho has his way with words. You’ve seen him talk to other girls before on multiple occasions and there’s no way anyone could resist his charms. It’s so easy for him to get a girl anywhere he goes.

In all the years you’ve known him, he’s never been in a steady relationship. The longest relationship he’s had—if you can consider it one—that you can recall was probably a week. When you asked him once before why you’ve never seen him with a girl longer than a week, he just shrugged and said, “I refuse to waste my youth in a monogamous relationship and vow to use this precious time to explore and have fun.”

You respect his choice, but you couldn’t be more opposite. You’d rather be in a steady relationship with someone you can completely trust and give your whole heart to than waste your time sleeping around. It’s important for you to belong to someone who makes you feel secure… like Jin. Well, not anymore. He fell for his assistant and although he claims nothing has happened between them, he still broke up with you so something can actually happen between them, and the thought is making your blood boil again.

“I hate him! I even put my pretty underwear tonight because I thought after 5 months, I’ll finally get laid!” you pull your shirt up to prove it, revealing a black lace lingerie underneath. “The panties match too,” you say as you reach down for the button of your jeans.

You hear Yunho choke as if something is stuck in his throat. He averts his gaze, grabs your hands before you can strip in front of him, and quickly pulls your shirt down to cover your almost bare chest. “I did not need to know that, and I definitely did not need to see that.” He says, emphasizing on ‘that’. His ears turning a pinkish color.

It’s the first time you’ve ever splurged on a lingerie. Hell, it’s the first time you’ve ever bought lingerie—period. You spent over a hundred dollars for this set, and it was all for nothing.

“I have needs too, you know?” you snap. “It’s been way too long and I’m desperate. I thought maybe this will bring the spark back in our relationship.” Unsure why you made air quotes in your mind at the word ‘spark’, you look down on your fingers. Yunho is still holding your hands in his.

You turn towards the back of the couch and bury your face into the cushion wailing in defeat. Much more than your heart, it hurt your pride that your boyfriend—now ex- boyfriend decided today, out of all days, to break up with you. With all the last-minute cancels on your date plans and the fact that you saw him only eight times in the past 5 months and none of those times was he intimate, you were tempted too. You almost ended it yourself. But for the sake of all the years you’ve been together, you decided to give your relationship another chance.

Whether you’re hurt because he threw away all the years you were together for someone he met only a few months ago or because he broke up with you first, you’re unsure.

“Hey,” Yunho says in a low tone. “I’m sorry. That sounded mean.” He reaches for your chin and gently turns your head to face him. “Please stop crying… or I might end up punching someone out.”

“You’re lying,”

“You’re right. I hate getting punched in the face. I like my face too much,” he says as he brings one hand to rub his own cheek.

You laugh. You always enjoy these playful banters with Yunho. No matter how serious the situation is, he never fails to crack you up with his playfulness and funny antics. You try to recall the last time Jin has ever made your stomach hurt out of laughing so much but you don’t have such a memory while you always end up throwing your head back in laughter whenever you’re around Yunho.

You straighten up. His hand is now cupping your jaw, his thumb gently swiping away the tear that has fallen down your cheek. “Please stop crying. I hate seeing you cry.” He’s serious now. “It’s his loss. He’s a complete idiot for letting you go. He doesn’t know what a gem he’s missing out on. It sounds cliché but it’s true, there’s plenty of other guys out there who will treat you better.”

“Yeah?” a small smile curving on your lips. “Except you, apparently,” you tease him.

“Yeah,” you see him smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

You turn towards his hand that is still cupping your jaw, his thumb still resting against your cheek. You feel your lips brush against his skin and the friction makes you close your eyes. His hand feels warm, it’s making you sleepy. Somehow, this moment with Yunho just feels right. He has one arm over the back of the couch. The warmth radiating from his body is enough to let you know he’s moved closer to you without having to open your eyes. He’s right there. He’s close and you feel safe. You turn your head towards his hand once more and this time, you plant a soft kiss on his thumb.

When you open your eyes, you see Yunho looking intently at you. His eyes dark and his lips slightly parted. His breathing shallow and fast. Whether it’s the alcohol making you adventurous or the look on his face as you plant more kisses on his thumb and palm, you’re unsure. You hear him gasp. He likes this. The idea of you having this much effect on your best friend is boosting the confidence you thought has been completely shattered a few moments ago.

Still feeling dizzy and your head cloudy, your brain fails to stop the words from coming out of your mouth. “Can I?” you ask him. Yunho opens his lips, but words fail him. Looking over you, he swallows hard. And you take that as a yes.

Once more, you plant a soft kiss on his thumb before you finally take it in your mouth.

“Mmm,” he moans softly as you swirl your tongue around it occasionally ghosting your teeth against his skin. How can his thumb feel soft and rigid at the same time against your tongue?

“Fuck,” he groans, and you grab his wrist to steady it, pushing his thumb deeper.

In haste, he takes his thumb out of your mouth. You lean forward hoping to catch it.

“Come here,” he grabs the back of your neck as he firmly presses his lips against yours. The suddenness of his action startles you and you start to wonder if you’re just dreaming it.

Is this real? Am I this desperate for intimacy that I’m dreaming of kissing my best friend?

Yunho’s lips start to move against yours, and it pulls you back to reality. It’s real. Your best friend is kissing you and he’s awfully good at it.

An inexplicable feeling of relief and appreciation washes over you. Yunho holding you in his arms feels right. He feels like home. It feels right to be with him.

“Yunho—,” you breathe into his mouth, and he takes this chance to slowly deepen the kiss. You grab onto his arm for support, his opposite hand wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. The feel of his body against yours is making your head spin out of control.

“Oh fuck,” he moans into your mouth, and it sends shivers down your spine. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his forehead pressed against yours. You close in on his mouth in desperate need as if you can’t get enough of him. You never want his lips to leave yours even for one second. Yunho kisses you again, his tongue finds your upper lip flicking it twice. You gasp at the sensation, and he slides his tongue into your mouth, tangling it with yours. He’s so good at this.

You groan, frustrated that you can’t seem to get close enough, so you gently place one hand on his chest and push him against the back of the couch as you swing one leg over his hips so you’re straddling him.

His gaze still fixed on you, his expression full of shock and lust. One hand reaches for the back of your neck bringing your lips back to press against his, the other winding around your waist. He shifts his pelvis forward, the stiffness underneath his jeans brushes against your core, and you whimper. You’ve never been kissed like this. Your mouth has never been devoured like a delicious dessert while strong arms were wrapped around you, holding you in place.

“Y/n,” the sound of your name on his lips is enough to send your mind into overdrive. You start grinding your body against his almost unconsciously, matching his rhythm. You feel his erection rub against your clothed core once again and this time you throw your head back at the contact.

“Oh,” you moan, the room suddenly feels so hot. If it gets any hotter than this, you might combust. You feel Yunho’s lips move to your cheek, down to your jaw and now he’s planting hot, wet kisses on your neck.

Both arms are wrapped around you now and you feel him bury his face on your neck while he tries to catch his breath. You grab onto his shoulders, your lips pressed against his hair. He stopped kissing you so suddenly but he’s still holding you close, leaving you confused.

“What’s wrong?” you ask him. He doesn’t answer, instead he squeezes you into the hug a little harder.

He finally breaks away from you. He gathers your legs on one arm and suddenly, you’re no longer straddling him.

Barely sober and still confused, you try to look into his eyes but his wouldn’t meet yours. Yunho has a somber expression on his face, one you’ve never seen before in all the years you’ve known him. He’s always been energetic and playful. You’ve never seen this side of him before. You want to ask him again to check that he’s okay, but you can’t bring yourself to open your mouth.

“You must be tired. You should go to sleep,” he gives you a small smile though he doesn’t look at you. He stands up, still holding you in his arms, and starts walking down the hall to his bedroom. The door is slightly open. He kicks it with one foot to let both of you in his room.

He’s so quiet. It’s so unlike him. You think to yourself as he lowers you down on his bed. He pulls the duvet out from underneath you and tucks you in. You stare at him intently, looking for his eyes amid the barely lit room. He finally meets your gaze, the expression in his eyes, unreadable. You feel his fingers brush against your cheek.

“Good night, y/n,” you feel the mattress shift as he stands and make his way towards the door. You try to reach for his arm hoping you can convince him to stay right next to you, but he already left.

He left.

Yunho left you in his room. By yourself.

You feel your throat close. Tears are rolling down your face and onto the pillow. The reality hit you. You just kissed your best friend, and he’s clearly regretting it.

Does he hate me?

Did I just ruin our friendship?

You turn and bury your face onto the pillow, silently praying that he doesn’t hear you cry from outside his bedroom. You thought you were heartbroken when you came here but now you feel as if your heart has been ripped out. Are you grieving the end of your relationship with Jin or the pain of rejection from your best friend? You’re pretty sure it’s the latter.

—

It’s been a week since that faithful night. You still can’t believe that you and Yunho shared a steamy kiss after you were dumped.

You haven’t seen him since, and you miss him terribly. But thinking about the way things went down that night and the lingering heartache, you resolve that it’s best that you don’t run into him for a while. At least until you’ve accepted that he just doesn’t see you as a woman.

To Yunho, you’ll always just be his best friend. Nothing more. And that’s enough. It should be.

You’re surprisingly thriving for someone who was dumped just a week ago. With all the years you’ve spent with Jin, you thought you would at least cry in bed for a week. But after only three days, you’re back to your usual routine. Things at work are going smoothly, your family is healthy, and you started working out again. Life is good—aside from the fact that you can’t bring yourself to reply to Yunho’s text from the following morning.

You feel your phone vibrate over your head and it woke you up. When you open your eyes, you noticed the sheets immediately. You’re not in your bed. This is not your room. And then you remembered. You’re in Yunho’s apartment. You came over as soon as your ex-boyfriend, Jin, dropped you off.

You quickly check the time on your phone. It’s flashing 7:15AM on the screen. The sun is already up, the warm sunlight is barely penetrating through the thick drapes.

You slowly sit up, pain splitting through your skull. You recall bringing your own poison last night, hoping it will drown out your sorrow, but your heart is still aching and now you have a hangover too.

You gasp as you recall another memory from last night. Yunho’s lips were against yours. One moment you were sharing the hottest kiss you’ve ever had in your entire life, then the next thing you know—it was over. You clutch your chest, the pain of rejection still lingering.

You carefully turn the doorknob to Yunho’s bedroom, praying you don’t wake him up if he’s sleeping in his small living room because you might die of humiliation, considering how things unfolded last night. You peek your head out the door and find him sleeping on his couch.

You tiptoe towards him, carefully grabbing your stuff that are spread all over the floor.

Yunho is sleeping soundly on his back, one arm covering his eyes. Your legs bend almost to their own accord as you bring yourself closer to watch over him.

He looks so peaceful. Your gaze trailed down towards his lips and you recall the feeling of them against yours. You notice how his lips perfectly curve into a heart shape. Were they always plump like this?

Yunho shifts slightly in his sleep. You place one hand over your mouth trying your best not to make a sound as you jump up, moving as far away from him as possible, hoping you didn’t wake him.

It seems like he’s still fast asleep. You quickly yet carefully put your shoes on and grabbed your things. You glance back at him one more time before you head out the door, gently shutting it behind you.

As soon as you got home, you plopped down on your own bed, you heard your phone vibrate from inside your purse. You reached for it, took your phone out to look at what the notification was for.

It was a text message.

From Yunho.

[Yuyu] “I noticed you already left. Did you have coffee at least?”

You wanted to text him back, but you couldn’t think of a good reply. You tried: “Yeah. I didn’t want to wake you” Delete. Delete. Delete.

You tried again: “I didn’t have enough time” Delete. Delete. Delete. You took a long sigh and put your phone back into your purse.

It’s 6:58PM on a Friday night. You’re mindlessly looking through Netflix’s library of shows and movies you can watch while you eat your dinner. It’s been 30 minutes, you’re done eating, but you still can’t find anything good to watch. As soon as you let out a sigh, you hear your phone vibrate on the couch.

[Minmin] “We’re going to the Rec Room tonight. Do you wanna come?”

It’s Mingi. You wonder by ‘we’ does he mean all the boys are coming? Including Yunho?

You don’t really have anything interesting to do tonight and it’s been a while since you hung out with them but are you ready to see Yunho? You’ve held out so well. Are you ready to face him after you’ve been rejected and heartbroken? What if you act awkwardly around him? What if the others notice? Wait—do they know?

It’s not that Yunho didn’t try to reach out after your multiple failed attempts at replying to his text. He did. He called you a couple times, but you never answered. You froze every time you saw his name on your phone screen and even if you were so desperate to hear his voice, you couldn’t bring yourself to answer, and he was sent to voicemail each time.

One time, he left a voicemail:

[Yuyu] “Hey… I haven’t seen you in a while. Just wanted to check in… Hope you’re okay.”

He’s sweet as ever, you nearly tear up. How can you hate this man for the let down when he’s being thoughtful like this?

You met Yunho just a little after you started dating Jin in college. Even then, he’s always been so popular with the girls.

One semester, you had the same class. You were both late, so you settled at the back of the room. You instantly clicked and ever since then, you’ve been great friends.

It’s probably because you were already dating Jin at the time but looking back, you never really wondered what Yunho thinks of you. You’ve met every single one of his rendezvous and you never once wondered if he would be interested in you in a similar way.

Besides, casual hookups were never your thing. You’re such an idealist when it comes to relationships. And that’s why even if Jin didn’t give you butterflies in your stomach or the dizzying feeling of being in love, you stayed with him, and at one point in your relationship, you believed you were in love with him.

Fiery passionate relationships scare you. You’ve heard and witnessed too many horror stories of intense, burning, hot relationships only for it to die down faster than it started. Jin felt safe, and that was exactly what you wanted.

But after the moment you had with Yunho in his apartment last week, you’re not so sure anymore. You at least know that if it’s with him, you’d be willing to give it a chance.

That’s enough reminiscing for one night. You stop yourself before you can even start going down the rabbit hole filled with what ifs. You bite the inside of your cheek as you type a reply to Mingi’s text, letting him know you’re down.

—

It only took you 18 minutes to get to the Rec Room by Uber. You worry that you might get trashed tonight so you decided to leave your car behind.

Loud noises from pin ball and video games, as well as the thrilled clamor of players welcome you into the large space.

You pass by a series of game machines and find your friends huddled around the laser hocky table. Mingi and San are playing against each other, and it looks intense from where you’re standing. Even though you can practically feel your heart in your throat, your eyes search for a familiar face, and you found him. But an instant wave of regret starts to weigh on your chest, your stomach in knots. You rethink your decision to hang out but it’s too late now.

You see Yunho standing against an arcade basketball machine, a bottle of beer in hand, a petite girl whispering into his ear. Whatever she said, it must have been funny because you see them giggling together. She’s wearing a light blue cropped tank and a mini jean skirt to match, an oversized cardigan over her shoulders. She has a full face of makeup on. She’s cute.

You unconsciously look down and start examining your own outfit. It’s a casual night so you decided to wear your favorite pair of lululemon leggings, a blue flannel over your cropped tank and stepped into your go-to Nike Airforce 1s. You put a light wash of makeup on but loaded up on the mascara before you head out.

You initially thought that it’s just the boys, they’ve seen your potato state multiple times before, they wouldn’t care. But now, you wish you’d put a little bit more effort into how you look.

Not that you want to impress Yunho or anything. Right?

“y/n!” Mingi shouting across from you, interrupting your thoughts. You notice Yunho turn his head in your direction from your periphery. He straightens up as soon as he sees you.

Mingi starts jogging towards you. He opens his arms wide and pulls you into a bear hug. “I’m glad you could make it!” he says, a smile curving on his lips, making his eyes disappear. You rest your chin on his shoulder, but the height difference is straining your neck.

“Thanks for inviting me!” you say amid the struggle.

As soon as Mingi breaks away, you see San come around the corner. “Hey!” he starts messing up your hair, earning him a groan from you. “I haven’t seen you in a while, I almost forgot how you look like!” he pouts.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, biting the inside of your cheek. “I’ve been busy lately and there’s been… some changes in my life.” Your eyes find Yunho’s, looking intently at you as he slowly approaches you. You can’t tell if he’s happy to see you or what.

You exchange greetings with the other members then finally you hear Yunho speak.

“Hey,”

“Hey,” you respond awkwardly, barely able to hold his gaze.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he says.

“Yeah,” you look at your feet, shifting your weight from side to side. “Mingi invited me. I didn’t’ have any plans so…” you continue, wondering why you feel so awkward. It’s just Yunho and his friends… and a cute girl.

You consider running back home and hiding from the world forever when someone else finally starts talking and you breathe a sigh of relief. You look up to see the same petite girl that was standing next to Yunho just a few moments ago.

She holds out a hand. “Hi,” she greets you, a sweet smile plastered across her face. “I’m Mina. You’re y/n?”

You try to hide your surprise at the fact that she knows your name. You wonder if you’ve met her somewhere before but you’re pretty sure tonight is the first time you’re seeing her.

“Hi! Yes—,” you reach out for her hand and gently shakes it.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she adds, beaming. Panic starts to bubble up in your gut. You wonder who told her about you. Is it Yunho? Are they together? Did you miss the memo and kissed your best friend, not realizing he’s already seeing someone else?

The thought makes your stomach roll. “I hope they were all wonderful things,” you say, trying your hardest to put on a smile.

You feel stuffy suddenly and you look around, praying for someone to come and rescue you from this awkward situation.

Like an answered prayer, Mingi comes back and interlocks one arm around yours. “What do you want to drink?” He gently pulls you towards the direction of the bar and you’re so thankful for his aid, you can almost kiss him.

—

It’s only 10PM but you can barely keep your eyes open. Mingi notices you yawning into your forearm.

“Tired?” he asks, bringing his long fingers to softly pinch your cheek.

“Yeah. I think I’m done for the night,” you say as you take one last sip of your cocktail.

Mingi has no idea how thankful you are that he pretty much never left your side the entire night. He’s so attentive, occasionally asking to make sure you’re still good. He takes you with him whatever game he takes interest in playing next or whenever he goes to the bar to get another round of drinks for everyone. He’s kept you busy. Busy enough to barely notice Yunho being all chummy with Mina. You feel a sharp pang of jealousy in your chest. He’s your best friend and you want to be territorial, but you can’t. He’s not yours. You remind yourself.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa are playing pool. You’re not sure where San and Yeosang are. Jongho is sitting right next to Mingi, scrolling through his phone. To your relief, Wooyoung has kept Mina entertained the entire night, although Yunho doesn’t go too far away without the two. You occasionally feel eyes on you and when you look up, you meet Yunho’s gaze. He has a blank expression on his face. You’re the first to break eye contact each time.

You press up to your heels and start gathering your stuff. “Did you bring your car?” you hear Jongho ask.

“No. I Uber-ed here just in case I get trashed. I don’t want to leave my car in the parking lot,” you say.

Mingi stands up and pulls you into a hug. He’s such a sweetheart. He’s been touchy and clingy all night. You don’t really mind since out of all of Yunho’s friends, Mingi is your baby.

“I’m so happy you came. I’ve been missing your face,” he says, gently pressing one hand at the back of your head, pulling you closer.

“Thank you for inviting me! I would’ve stayed in my sweats and spend the whole evening looking for something to watch on Netflix until I fall asleep,” you say, wrapping both arms around his waist.

He rubs your back with one hand before he lets you go.

“Did you book your ride yet?” you hear Yunho ask. You turn around, surprised to see him standing behind you. He was just talking to Wooyoung and Mina across the room.

“I have,” you answer him. “It should be here in 10 minutes. The driver is dropping off their last passenger somewhere close—”

“Can you still cancel it?” he asks again. Why does he look so serious?

You give him a confused look. “I brought my car. I can drive you home. Cancel it,” he explains.

“But you’ve been drinking too?” you argue.

“I only had one bottle,” he counters. “I didn’t want to drink too much in case you need me to drive you home.” His words tug at your heart. This is classic Yunho. It’s like he has a ‘y/n’-needs-help’ radar. He always seems to know when you’re in need of something or looking for help and he always manages to be there for you. And when he’s not available, he sends one of these guys so even if they’re technically his friends, you feel like you’re a part of the group too.

“Oh no! It’s fine. They’ll be here in 10 minutes—” you check the app on your phone. “9 minutes now.”

“y/n,” Yunho says in a firm tone. “I’m driving you home.” It’s not a question or a request.

You sigh. “Okay,” you concede, canceling the booking after you’ve checked that it’s not too late.

Yunho quickly runs up to Wooyoung and Mina across the room. You figure he’s letting them know that he’s leaving to drive you home. You can’t help but catch Yunho’s hand squeeze Mina’s arm and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You don’t like that he’s being intimate with another girl, and you realize that you’re being absurd for thinking that way, but you can’t help it. It didn’t bother you before but now it does and the thought that you can’t have Yunho all to yourself makes your heart sink.

“Let’s go,” Yunho says, and you head towards the parking lot. Although Yunho gets around, you’ve never seen him friendly with another girl before. He always drew the line at flirting. Maybe you just didn’t pay much attention? You never pry into his business, but you recall one time when you asked him out of sheer curiosity if he ever talks to the girls after he sleeps with them.

“No,” he says casually. “I don’t talk to them or see them ever again after that one night. I’m not looking to get in a relationship, so I hate to give anyone the wrong impression.”

—

The entire ride home was uncomfortable to say the least. Both of you barely spoke, tiptoeing around each other. His radio was on but all you could hear was the sound of your heart pounding. The awkwardness in the air was too much for you to bear so you resorted to fake napping.

Yunho pulls into your driveway. You open your eyes, straightens yourself up and quickly unbuckles your seatbelt.

“Thanks for driving me home,” you say, giving him a small smile. Not waiting for his reply, you reach for the car door and hurriedly step out. “Good night, Yunho.”

You head towards your front door, a lump in your throat starts forming. You sigh.

Why am I having such a hard time trying to talk to him? We’ve been good friends for so long. It was never hard like this.

Even while you pretended you were sound asleep the entire ride home, all you could really think about was how much you missed Yunho. It was hard not to see him for a whole week when you almost lived together considering how often you came over to each other’s apartments. When you don’t see each other longer than what’s considered normal for the both of you, you at least exchange text messages or call each other. When you think about it, you’ve seen Yunho more often that you’ve seen your ex-boyfriend Jin in the past 5 months.

Since that night, you’ve been aching to touch him again and the fact that he’s sitting right next to you, so close yet so impossible to reach is driving you mad, the fear of another rejection hanging over your head.

You get inside your apartment but before you can shut the door, you see Yunho trying to squeeze his form into the door frame. “Do you have beer?” he asks, breathing hard as if he’s been running.

It takes you a second to realize you’re staring at him but not letting him in, so you open the door a little wider.

Yunho gets in and closes the door behind him. He follows you straight to the kitchen then to the refrigerator. You grab two cans of beer and hands him one. Yunho quickly cracks it open, taking a big sip. You both lean against the kitchen counter, standing side by side.

You try to focus on your beer and not on the fact that Yunho is standing so close you can feel his warmth against your skin. His elbow gently bumps into your side, and you jump. You look up to meet his eyes.

“Sorry,” he says softly, finally breaking the silence.

“It’s okay—” you assure him, turning your gaze forwards.

“Are we okay?” he asks, you can tell he’s staring at you from your periphery.

“Yeah,” you say, looking at the beer can in your hand. “Why wouldn’t we be okay?” It’s not a total lie. You tried to feel okay, to bring back the same dynamic you had with Yunho before that night, but you failed miserably after each attempt. In truth, you haven’t been feeling okay since that night, all week, all night but you can’t tell him that. You can’t risk another heartache.

“I feel like you’re avoiding me…” he says in a small voice.

Yunho places his beer can down on the countertop. He turns to face you, placing one hand on the counter on either side of you. “Are you?” he asks. He’s searching for your eyes, but you keep your head down. “Talk to me… please,” he continues when you don’t answer. He sounds like he’s in pain.

He notices you fidgeting with your beer can. He gently takes it away from your hand and places it down on the countertop next to his.

You feel your cheeks heat up and you bit your lower lip, trying to fight back the tears that spring to your eyes. You look down at your fingers, trying to muster up the courage to tell him what’s been weighing on your mind this past week. He cups your jaw with one hand, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. He nudges your head up, forcing you to look at him.

You feel a lump in your throat forming, your stomach in knots at the thought that you may be passing the point of no return, but you’ve had enough of hiding your feelings. “You do it all the time with other girls,” you blurt out, meeting his gaze steadily, “why not with me?”

It took Yunho a moment to realize you’re talking about that night.

“Y/n,” he sighs, and it hurts. The heartache you endured last week has nothing on the pain you’re feeling right now. You already know what he’s about to do or say. Still, it doesn’t make it easier to hear the rejection straight from him.

“Because it’s you—” he says, dropping his hands by his side. You interject quickly before he can finish hoping it will soften the blow. “I- I’m sorry. I was stupid and I needed- I needed you…” your voice breaking. You swallow and turn in your spot away from him, so you don’t have to face him when he finally turns you down.

“I know you don’t have feelings for me… I know you don’t see me like that,” your heart breaks all over again and you can’t help the tears that are now spilling over. “It’s okay… really. I love you just the same.”

You feel his fingers reach for your elbow and you squeeze your eyes shut. You’ve been aching for his touch. So desperate to feel his body against yours. But he doesn’t want you—at least not in the same way—and it hurts. It hurts that you realized too late that you love him. It hurts that he can’t return your feelings. It hurts that you potentially just ruined your friendship, and it hurts because you don’t know how to go back to the way things were.

You step back away from the counter, Yunho mirroring behind you. This is too much, too painful for you to handle. Much more painful than when Jin ended your relationship of so many years. You hurriedly go around the corner of the counter, heading towards the living room when Yunho grabs your wrist, stopping your tracks.

“What do you mean?” he asks. You glance at the floor before looking back at him. His eyes roam over your features as if he’s looking for something. You hesitate slightly before opening your mouth to say something you know you’ll immediately regret.

“I- I’m in love with you.”

Yunho’s eyes widen at your confession. He opens his mouth then shuts it close again. Your eyes are overflowing with tears now and you look down at your fingers before you wipe your face with the back of one hand. “I- I don’t know when I started feeling this way…” you stutter, “but I know it wasn’t just because of that one kiss,” you’re talking faster now. “I’m sorry… I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I can’t keep ignoring these feelings anymore—”

Yunho takes a step towards you. He places both hands on your face, cupping your jaw and he dips in to kiss you. One of his hands travel down your back, he holds you tight and pulls you closer. The kiss is rough and desperate, leaving you breathless when he finally breaks away. He bends down low and presses his forehead against yours.

“Oh,” he sighs. “What am I going to do with you?” an amused laugh on his lips.

You push him back, brows furrow in confusion. “Wait, what—”

He straightens up. “I love you,” he says simply, eyes sparkling, the corners of his lips pull up to a smile. “I’ve been in love with you since the moment I first met you.”

You shake your head, more confused than ever from the sudden confession. “But… you didn’t want me? You pulled away?”

He sighs again and look at his feet. “I knew you needed that release and I know I could give it to you. I want to,” he pauses. “But because it’s you, I didn’t.”

He reaches for your wrists and hold them in his hands, his thumbs drawing little circles on your skin. “I can’t make love with the woman of my dreams and expect for it not to crush me.” He looks back up at you, his gaze soft. “You were drunk, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you. What if you wake up the next morning and regret all of it? It would’ve broken my heart.”

Woman of his dreams.

“Y-you never said anything. You never—”

“Made a move on you?” he finished your sentence for you. “Jin was good to you, and I didn’t want to be that guy. You always seemed happy and content, so I buried all these feelings deep down inside of me hoping to forget they even exist.” He says quietly. “I know this sounds cliché so don’t laugh at me,” he pauses, his gaze steady on yours as if he’s waiting for you to swear it. “I wanted to stay in your life no matter what, even if it meant being your friend—your best friend—I was willing to do it.”

“Oh,” your breath hitches.

“But you came to me, and I let my guard down,” he says, bringing both hands to cup your face, his thumbs wiping away any remnants of tears from your cheeks. “All it took was one kiss to bring those feelings back up to the surface. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I thought maybe you need space—some time away from me—considering how you never responded to my texts and didn’t take my calls.”

“I’m sorry,” you mutter, “I thought I’ve been rejected, and I was hurt. I didn’t know how to face you…”

He chuckles. “Basically, we’re just a bunch of idiots… waiting on each other.” He says, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Promise me, we won’t do this again.” He holds your hands and squeezes them. “If you want to tell me something, don’t hesitate… tell me. I promise to do the same—like we’ve always done.”

You nod and Yunho kisses you again, gentler this time as if he’s afraid to hurt you then he deepens the kiss, pouring all the feelings he’s been trying to hide all these years into it. You’re both panting, desperate for oxygen when you pull away. “I love you, y/n. I’ve loved you for so long.”

“I love you too, Yunho.”

Wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, this time you kiss him. He lets out a moan and you can’t help but feel the heat pooling in your core. He wraps his arms around you, his large hands reaching down to cup your ass, pressing his hard length against your belly, your knees turning Jell-O. “You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to take care of you since that night,” he says between kisses. “I barely stopped myself. I wanted you so bad.”

“Yunho—" you whimpered, desperate for more, eager to get closer, you grind your body against his. A low growl escapes his lips and the sound of it makes your skin tingle. He grabs your waist and turns your body, so your back is against the counter. Without breaking the kiss, he grasps your sides, lifts you up and sits you on the countertop before squeezing his form in between your legs. “I don’t think I can stop myself this time.”

“Then don’t,” you breathe into his ear.

“Oh,” he grins. “I’m not planning to.”

His lips trail down the side of your jaw and up towards your ear, nipping at your lobe. He starts moving south, planting hot, wet kisses on your neck. You feel his hands everywhere, palming every dip and mound and you stifle a moan.

His fingers start moving up from your thigh towards your core. When he runs his thumb along your aching heat, you nearly lost it.

“Fuck,” you grab onto his shoulder for support. “Hmm… you’re already so wet, I barely touched you,” he says, tilting his head back, looking at you through hooded eyes, a playful grin plastered across his face.

You’re not sure when he did it, but you notice he’s already taken your shoes and socks off. His fingers trail against the waistband of your leggings, nudging them down. You lift your hips slightly so he can take them off you. You’re thankful you decided to wear your best-looking underwear tonight.

“I’ll try to be gentle…” he murmurs into your ear, his voice deep, his hot breath against your skin, making your skin flush. “…but I can’t promise it.” His eyes are dark and intense. “You need to tell me if it’s too much for you, okay?”

You nod and his thumb swipes across your bottom lip. “Open for me,” he slides one finger into your mouth, finding your tongue and you start swirling it around the tip. This feels familiar and your brain tingles at the memory of you sucking on his thumb that night. You didn’t realize how much Yunho’s long and beautiful fingers turn you on.

Yunho takes his finger out of your mouth. He yanks your panties to the side and runs his finger that was in your mouth along your wet slit causing you to whimper, your free hand grabbing the edge of the counter.

“Please,” you whisper. He finally takes your panties off you and tosses it to the side so you’re fully naked from the waist down.

He bends down low in between your legs, large hands on each of your thighs pushing your legs apart a little bit wider. You bite your nail, suddenly feeling embarrassed.  This is not your first sexual encounter, but it is your first time with Yunho, who you’ve been friends with for a long time. He’s never seen you like this and to be honest, you look so soft and vulnerable, so exposed in this position, Yunho nearly loses his mind, his cock throbbing underneath his pants.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he says before his lips finally dive into your sensitive heat and you can’t help but throw your head back at the contact. His warm tongue teasing your sensitive spot causing you to arch your back on the countertop. Yunho takes it as a cue and starts devouring you as if his life depended on it.

“Fuck,” you grab a fistful of his soft locks, your hips start moving almost to their own accord, trying to find a rhythm, desperate for more. When he stiffens his tongue and presses it inside you, the pleasure nearly takes you out.

“Oh my—” you can feel your release getting closer and closer. Yunho grabs one of your wrists pulling forward so you can curl up and watch him eat you out. “Look at me,” he says, his mouth momentarily taking a break. “You feel good, baby?” he asks.

“So good.” He chuckles against your skin. His tongue finds your entrance again, relentlessly pressing in and out and it tips you over the edge. You shudder out a moan, legs shaking as you come apart against his mouth.

“Let’s move to somewhere more comfortable.” He wraps your legs around his waist, interlocking your ankles behind the small of his back. He lifts you up and starts walking towards your bedroom. He knows the layout of your apartment as if it’s his own.

He places you at the foot of your bed and with one swift move, he takes your tank top off you, followed by your bra so you’re fully naked in front of him. He’s dreamt of your naked body before, as much as he tried not to, but the sight of you right now beats whatever he had in mind.

He scrambles to take his shirt off and quickly tosses it to the side. You’ve seen him without a shirt before when you went to the beach along with his group of friends, so you already know that he has a fit body. Your eyes feast on his perfect proportions—broad shoulders, strong chest, toned abs and arms. He’s beautiful.

He yanks his pants and boxers down just enough to let his stiff length spring free from its confinements. Your eyes widen in surprise, and you worry for a moment if it will fit. He’s big.

Yunho kisses you again, more desperately this time. He pushes one finger inside you while his other hand moves up to fondle your breast, capturing it in his mouth and you let out a whimper in response. You hear him tear open the foil wrapper and you instinctively spread your legs wider for him. Yunho lines himself up against your entrance and he gasps when he finally starts sliding forward.

You’re both panting now. He places both hands on either side of you so he can slide further. “Fuck, baby. You’re so tight,” he cries. “I may not last long.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, pressing him down on your body. He’s all the way inside you now and you feel impossibly full.

“Please,” you whisper into his ear, pressing your forehead against his, your hand gently pulling on his soft locks. “I need it.”

Yunho pulls all the way out but sinks right back in—all the way—causing both of you to whimper, your nails digging into the skin of his back. He starts moving his hips, keeping his pace slow and steady at first, slowly stretching you out until your body is used to his size. You can’t believe how close you are already. You buck your hips up to meet each thrust and as if Yunho can sense your urgency, he picks up his pace causing you to whine and moan underneath him, your release just around the corner.

“Let go,” he says, and his words are enough to tip you over the edge. “Yunho!” you cry out, arching your back as you clench around him, legs shaking at the intensity of your release. He’s not far behind. He drives into you a couple more times before you hear him cry out your name as he shudders inside you.

He collapses on top of you, staying there for a moment before laying on his side right next to you. He pulls you in and you rest your head on his chest. His heart beating as loud as yours as you both try to catch your breath. “You’re amazing,” he breathes, kissing the top of your head.

“Umm, Yunho…” you lift your head up to look at his face, his eyes are closed.

“Hmm?”

“Is this okay? What about Mina?” It’s probably too late now but you’re dying to ask.

“What about her?” he asks calmly.

“Didn’t you bring her to the Rec Room tonight?” you ease up on your elbow, your face hovering over his and he opens his eyes to meet yours.

“I did,” he says casually. “But she’s there for Wooyoung,” he continues, his fingers playing with your hair. “We work together. I told her we’re hanging out tonight and she asked me if I can take her so they can officially meet.”

“So… you’re not together?” you ask.

“Nope,” he immediately responds. “Y/n, I haven’t been with anyone in the past 5 months. We’ve been spending so much time together. I thought you would notice.” He chuckles, softly pinching your cheeks.

You tilt your head to one side and start pouting. “How does she know me?” you ask. Yunho smiles. “She may have heard the boys tease me about you once or twice before.”

Your brows furrow in confusion. You’re still not sure where he’s going with this.

“They think I’m stupid for not shooting my shot with you,” he scoffs. “They think we should be together.” His face lights up, eyes sparkling, and he looks flushed. He’s so adorable and you can’t help but swoon.

“How did I not realize sooner that I’m actually in love with you?” you ask. It’s not a real question and he seems to know it.

Yunho smiles, holds your hand and squeezes it before planting a soft kiss on your palm. “I would’ve waited forever for you.”

—

A few months later…

You enter the neighborhood coffeeshop with your boyfriend Yunho. Fingers intertwined as you walk hand in hand towards the counter.

“Do you want the usual?” he asks.

You nod and just as you were about to open your mouth to add something, the guy with an awfully familiar figure standing in front of you turns around.

It’s Jin.

“Hey,” he smiles, his gaze turns toward Yunho then back to you. You’re pretty sure he noticed you holding hands.

It takes you a moment to realize your mouth is open and you greet him back. You exchange glances with Yunho, hoping he understands what you’re trying to communicate with him. It seems like he did because he mouths “You good?” and after you give him a nod, he starts stepping away to find a table for the two of you.

You hear Jin chuckle in front of you as he places his card back in his wallet. “I see that you two finally started dating each other…”

Finally?

“What do you mean?” you ask, an awkward smile on your lips.

“Y/n,” he says. “We were together for a long time,” he continues. “I know things about you… maybe better than you know yourself,” he pauses, his eyes look like they’re searching for something. “You’re in love with him,” you follow where he fixed his gaze, and you find Yunho sitting by the glass wall. He’s already found a table for the two of you. “You have been… for a long time.”

Jin’s words urge you to recall all the fond memories you’ve had with Yunho all these years. It’s hard to miss the affection you have for each other. Everyone seems to know except the two of you.

“At first, I thought maybe I was keeping the two of you from getting together,” he pauses again and look at his feet then looks up to meet your eyes. “But I think we both know that’s not the whole truth.”

You bite your lip. He’s not wrong. You were so scared of getting your heart broken. You’ve heard and witnessed enough of fiery, passionate relationships and the end always look the same, someone’s heart in a million pieces. You led yourself to believe that what you wanted was something safe and familiar. You liked that your relationship with Jin was predictable because you thought you can avoid getting hurt this way, not realizing that you were growing apart and both of you were no longer happy. But now, you realize it’s not about how the relationship started. The right person will always feel like home.

“I know you loved me too and I’m thankful for it—” he sighs. “I’m sorry that I hurt you… but we both deserved better.” He places a hand on your shoulder and gently squeezes.

You smile at him.

—

You place the drinks on the table before you settle on the seat opposite Yunho.

“What did he say and how dare he touch you?” Yunho blurts out before taking a sip of his coffee and it makes you giggle.

“Are you… jealous?” you ask, narrowing your eyes as you tease him.

“Me? Jealous?” He scoffs. “So what did he say?” he asks, his lips in a straight line.

You laugh a little louder this time. Yunho is in no way a jealous boyfriend, but he can get a bit territorial, which is understandable considering you just talked to someone you’ve had a long history with.

He pouts when you didn’t answer right away and he’s so cute, you want to squish his face.

“He said it’s about time we started dating each other,” you say casually.

Yunho loosens up, he stretches out a hand on top of the table and you place your hand in it. “He’s right,” he admits. “It took us way too long to get here,” he pauses, squeezing your hand.

“You should know…” he leans forward, holding your gaze steady, a playful grin on his lips, “you’re not escaping me… ever.”

[hughesurdaddy43]

hello lovely🫶🏼 if ur requests are open and whenever you have time could you write something absolutely gut wrenchingly heartbreaking that ends with some fluff w Q and somehow add in the brothers being involved too? Like they are on your side or whatever! Just in an angst mood😮‍💨

This sucksssssss, I had this whole thing planned out and then forgot about it butttttttt ngl i kind of love it, it's just not as heart breaking as I wanted it. also i was gonna make quinn and jacl fight over her bc we love that but we also love soft boy jack whos just worried.

AND IDK HOW TO WRITE FLUFF? I MEAN I DO BUT I FOCUSED MORE ON THE HEARTBREAKING PART?? IS THIS EVEN SAD? IDK BUT I LISTENED TO TAYLOR WHILE WRITING IT

tw?// attempt to d&d??

also trevor zegras scares me

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you watched Quinn on the other side of the fire, slow dancing with another girl.

You knew coming to this bonfire would be a bad idea, your friends were his friends first. Of course he'd be here.

Jack, in the chair right beside you leans over. "Don't even pay attention to him, Ash. He's a dick for bringing another girl, he knew you were coming." Your heart crumbles, he knew you were coming and still brought another girl.

"It's barely been two months, how could he have moved on that fast?" Luke, from the other side of you chuckles, causing both you and Jack to look over at him. "You think he's moved on? She's definitely a rebound, Ash. I mean, look at her."

You bring the drink in your hand up to your lips, taking another sip as you look back at Quinn. You've been watching him all night, hoping he'd come up to you. "Why is it so easy for him?" You mumble to yourself. Since your breakup, you've been a wreck. Life without Quinn wasn’t something you were used to, something you hated.

"I think I should go." Your legs feel like jello when you stand up and it takes you a moment to balance yourself.

Jack stands up beside you, grabbing your arm. "You can't drive Ash, you’re drunk." He tries to grab your keys from your hand but you pull away.

"I'm fine, Jack. I can't be here."

You start to walk to your car that's parked amongst all the other vehicles that have piled in over the last couple of hours. Your head is spinning and your thoughts are all over the place. Luke and Jack are calling your name from behind you, and a lot of heads are turning your way, but there's one thing only that's on your mind. Get away from Quinn, as far as possible.

When you reach your car and get the door open, Jack slams it shut. "I'm not letting you drive, Ash. You're drunk, and I can't drive you because I'm drunk. Just give it a few hours, will you?"

The tears that we're threatening to spill from your eyes finally fall.

"Listen, I know he's being a piece of shit right now, but it's not worth risking your life over."

"I already risked my life for him, Jack! I moved countries for him, and I quit my job, I left my friends. I left everything I knew and loved! And for what? For him to break my heart?"

Your back slides against the side of your car as you let your body fall to the ground. Sober you would be completely embarrassed with how you're acting, but with all the alcohol in your system you don't really care. Your face is buried into your hands as you cry your heart out, until you hear a voice. His voice.

"Ash? What's going on"

Quinn walks towards you with worry filled eyes, and he kneels down until the two of you are face to face. "Baby, what's wrong?" And with the use of the pet name that you had been so used to hearing, your heart aches.

"I want to go home." You cry out.

Quinn doesn’t hesitate, standing up and pulling you with him. He starts leading you to the passenger side of the car.

-

The car ride is quiet. The road ahead of you is long and dark, and you can't remember the last time you've seen another car.

Quinn starts messing with the radio, but club mixes and jazz aren't his vibe for tonight, so he settles with nothing.

"We weren’t supposed to end up like this." You mumble, mostly to yourself but it's loud enough for him to hear.

Quinn laughs, running his hand through his hair. "I didn’t have much of a choice, Ash."

You look at him, trying to decipher whether or not he's kidding. It's clear he isn’t.

"I'm not drunk enough for you to gaslight me into thinking I'm the reason we broke up."

"You’re kidding me, right? Ash, you're the one who left!"

Now it's your turn to laugh. "I didn’t just leave, Quinn. You pushed me away."

The car comes to a stop, the smell of burnt rubber fills your nose.

"I pushed you away? You left! I watched you leave! You took your fucking house key off the chain and dropped it on the table, and then you left!"

You feel like a small child with how Quinn is yelling in your face. You can't remember a time where he's ever been so angry with you.

In one swift move, you open the car door and get out. "I'm walking home!"

Quinn rolls the window down and begins shouting for you, but you’re already quite a distance away. He follows right beside you, begging for you to get back into the car.

"Baby, please get in the car."

You slow down, whipping your head to face him "Don’t you dare! Don't call me that."

At this point, Quinn puts the car in park and walks over to grab you.

You pull your arm out of his grasp and try to walk away, but he doesn’t let you.

"Stop being so stubborn, Ash! Just get in the damn car!."

With your back towards him, you let your shoulders drop. You can't fight back with out the fear of crying again, and you’re so tired of crying over him.

"Why didn’t you tell me that you love me?"

You finally ask the million dollar question and it takes both of you by surprise.

Quinn sighs, and even though you aren’t looking at him, you know that he's running his hand through his hair. His signature move that you know all too well.

"You didn’t give me time to think." He says, and you scoff. " You shouldn’t have needed time, Quinn. When you know, you know."

You can hear his footsteps approaching you until he's pressed up against your back.

"No, I didn’t need to know if I loved you or not. Fuck.

I just, I couldn’t just say 'I love you' back. You deserved more than that, and I just, God. I'm speechless here, Ash. Of course I loved you, I still love you. You think you're worth only three words? I think you’re worth everything and more. You wanted me to tell you that I love you yet you didn’t even give me a chance!"

Once again, you’re crying. Quinn takes this as his chance to come around you and pull you into a hug.

"I love you, okay? And I don't want to fight anymore so will you please get in the car?"

You look up at Quinn, nodding your head, ready to forget about tonight.

Quinn gently raises his hand up to your face, wiping away your stray tears.

"I love you Quinn, so much. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, baby. Lets get you home."

Quinn walks you back to your car, haphazardly parked on the side of the road. Once the two of you are in the car, Quinn in the driver seat, you in the passenger, he reaches his right hand across the center console and grabs your hand that's resting on your thigh.

You look over at him. His left hand is on the steering wheel and his eyes are focused on the road.

"Will you stay over? I don't think I can go another night without you."

Quinns eyes dart to you before settling back on the road, he brings your hand up to his lips and leaves a kiss.

"I'm all yours, baby."

IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS.

[blingblong55]

Vienna- 141

This is based on a request.

Angst, death of a character, (spoiler it's you, lol), suicide, MDNI

Slow down you crazy child You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart tell me Why are you still so afraid?

Backstory:

It was you, the one who always had everyone's backs. But who had yours? It was you, the same one who would get cleaning duties because you took the blame for everyone. The team couldn't sleep? oh, there you go at 4 am, 4 hours of sleep and making coffee and tea for your team. One time, a mission went wrong. Evac would happen with or without you five. So, you gave yourself up so the team could make it to evacuation. They held you for 15 hours before you ran off and back to base. Now, the question is, did your precious boys mind it? no, they swore you were already on base, no need for a search. To this day you have nightmares about that day. You cry, and make it known you are going through some form of PTSD. Not once have they mentioned getting you help.

Soap was sick one time, real sick. So as you naturally did, you made soup for him and prepared him for a nice time. And stayed up all night, despite having other duties in the morning. This was your life. And yes, maybe they didn't reciprocate their love or affection, but who could blame them. You were so young. In their eyes, you were just trying to fit in, trying too hard and for them, it just wasn't going to happen. But that was who you were. A natural giver and lover. That was until this past mission.

Too bad, but it's the life you lead You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need Though you can see when you're wrong You know you can't always see when you're right 

--------

Things to a turn for the worse. Your own mind messing with you. And you finally did it. Like any coward, you killed yourself. It was fast and sudden. But soon you had met your Vienna.

It was a rookie that found you. Lying on the floor with the gun in your hand. They called Price. He naturally thought it was a prank from Soap. So he stayed in his office until his men were on the other side of the door. "Sir, they...they really did it" Ghost spoke up. Some regret and shame on his voice.

Turns out, you didn't have any family but them. That's why you showed them all of your unconditional love. At the bar, the four men told stories about you. "R/n once told me about some place, and said they wanted to visit it. It was their dream." Gaz said a sad smile on him as a drink warmed up in his hands.

"Vienna." Soap and Ghost were mentioned at the same time. It was true. You always wanted to go there. It brought comfort and you always gushed about it.

---------

You got your passion, you got your pride But don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true (Oooh) When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

There you were, hiding from the enemy with Ghost and Soap, Gaz on comms. "I want to go somewhere after this place.." you mentioned. "Where?" Ghost asked, somewhat annoyed you disturb the silence. "Vienna, I think it's beautiful. It seems kind and clean. I love it!" you smiled, just thinking of what the place must be like. The men stared at each other and discarded the small talk.

There was something, you know? It was peace, heaven, it was home for you. You ran from Austria as a kid because of your dad. And never returned once, it was the story you never told anyone. Because no one stopped and listened.

--------

It was just 2 days before your funeral. The men woke up, no coffee or tea set for them. Price didn't have the newspaper and a cigar by his keyboard that morning. Gaz woke up to no hash browns. Ghost was surprised there wasn't any chamomile, or earl grey on his mug. It was a strange feeling when Soap realised it was you who finished his papers, the same ones Price would make him turn in at the end of the day for rookie reports. Everything was silent. The telly is off, no morning show or new magazines by the coffee table.

It was so...empty. It wasn't comfortable or warm. You did all those things for them. You made sure that at least 10 minutes before they woke up, you would heat the common room so they wouldn't get too cold. One time you wiped all the tables and floors and made sure the telly was on the morning show so Ghost and Gaz could stay updated on their local news back at home. You walked in and they watched, telling stories about local bars the spokesperson would mention. So you kept doing it, every morning.

What was so strange was that they had depended on you for little things. Price opened the fridge, and to his surprise, the little lunch bags someone had made were not there. All the men swore it was a fan of them who did all these things, that maybe because they made all the rookies train yesterday, their biggest fan couldn't do their tea, or little lunch. But no, that was all you. You just never mentioned it to anyone.

All those little things were your love letters to them. The warm food, the warm mornings. The feeling of home and safety. That was all you. They had become unspoken words of adoration, devotion and love.

They all sat there. Soap regretted laughing at you. He hated how every time they all made fun of how you were, you'd shut down for a while. Your eyes were teary and your lip quivering. He cried thinking of all the stupid times they all belittled you.

Slow down you crazy child Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two (oooh) When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

-----------

You were having a bad day, it was usual, especially on the job. The team noticed how you were singing a song, it was so childish to them so they made fun of you for it. For you, it held such a deeper meaning. It brought you to the old you. The 6-year-old you, your parents holding your hands as you splashed around puddles. Your dad singing you that song over and over. How he had reached down and kissed your nose. Held you near his chest as he and your mum sang the song for you.

"Oh poor baby, go cry to mummy and daddy yeah?"

the men laughed. "Toughen up soldier."

"Probably has a whole bed filled with teddies," Soap said.

----------------

Soap would regret all his words. Hated how his last talk with you he pushed you away. "Not fucking now, Jesus, stop being so annoying!" You just nod and walk away. He didn't know but he was the last one who saw you alive that evening. Ghost hated how he always pushed you around like his personal punching bag at times. Price hated the times he yelled at you, how you looked at him with such teary eyes. He was the first man to yell horrible things at you. Gaz hated how every time you ate alone, he would pass by you and eat with other people. How you still were so kind to him despite his actions. The ghost of a smile on you as you two stared at each other before he told the soldiers a joke about you.

Oh, how they wished they showed you how much you meant to them. If only they had just 5 more minutes with you. How much they wished to have you for your birthday. Fuck, they didn't even mind remembering it. One look at your file and there it was. Your birthday and death date are all the same, just decades apart. They hated it. How much they had treated you like shit on your day. How soap never told you how much he appreciated you. Ghost and his stories, Gaz and his wild adventures. And price, oh price, how he wished you could've stayed longer.

They knew you reached it. You made your dreams come true. Vienna couldn't wait any longer. By this time tomorrow, you were back in Vienna, buried with your mum and dad. How the sky was probably blue, as their hero returned to their forever home. You would never grow up. No more dreams, no more a lover to hold. Just you in a coffin, away from the last people you loved like a family.

And you know that when the truth is told That you can get what you want or you can just get old You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through (oooh) Why don't you realize, Vienna waits for you?

A/n: so...I hope it was angsty enough for ya! Also, I know this is probably not the song that had ya all inspired, so for that sorry

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[kurogxrix]

Heyyy, i haven't (till now) read any miles quaritch fluff, like anywhere 😭😭 and i mean miles can have sweet moments too not just smutt, like if you're okay with it 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Missin’ something

Miles Quaritch x Na’vi!reader

IN WHICH Quaritch was once a war machine made to destroy, and now he’s a clan member and a husband.

Warning: he’s so sappy it’s so cute, OOC quaritch obv, rushed.

If someone had told the human Quaritch that in a distant future, he would be living like and amongst the people that he once considered savages, he would’ve probably laughed in their faces. His na’vi body had been constructed for the sole purpose of acquiring his past memories and executing his sworn enemy, Jake Sully.   

Though he had foreseen many things of his future, he had not once expected to have himself basking in the heavy rainforest. Even less with a woman sprawled up on his lap. His broad back was resting against the bark of an old tree, his long legs spread apart as you laid between them. Your whole back was pressed against his torso as the side of your face rested comfortably on his chest, your eyes closed as you enjoyed the silence. 

You purred softly as his five fingers caressed the back of your head, fingers intertwined deeply in your hair. Your cheek was squished against his upper chest and you could feel the vibration of his chuckle resonating through his body. If the recoms were here to witness the scene, they would’ve surely told their colonel how down bad he was, but he wouldn’t have cared anyways. 

You had somehow managed to alter his whole existence, banning him from his heavy guns and those ugly clothes that hid most of his built body. Miles was still a little shocked at how you had succeeded at making him wear those low-coverage twengs, or even how you had managed to even convince him that a simple bow would now be his permanent weapon. 

Though he didn’t care, because it was part of his life now. He thought back at the first time that he had met you, when he had immediately known that his heart picking up the pace could only mean bad news. Maybe this was what Jake had felt when he had first met Neytiri, leading him to betray his own people for a foreign woman. Miles felt pathetic for relating to the story of the man that he was quite literally programmed to hate, but he just couldn’t help it. 

Falling in love with you had been almost too easy, and before he could even process everything, he was now your husband and a part of your people. 

Not everything had been all that simple at first, but you both were attracted to each other like magnets, returning to the other despite the odds. 

His train of thoughts had gotten interrupted once he felt you shift along his chest. He lowered his head to look at whatever you were doing, only to catch you staring straight ahead at both of your legs. 

Your legs were comfortably resting between the both of his longer ones. Miles watched as you observed his toes like some kind of freak, watching them besides your own from the corners of your eyes. His anatomy was just so different to yours, despite you both possessing similar blue bodies. He had a recognizable amount of uneven fingers on both his hands and feet, deeming that he was not a real na’vi. 

“You’re a weirdo, stop staring at my toes.” Miles furrowed his eyebrows, his words coming out in his mother tongue as your ears caught on to them. You grinned as you pushed yourself deeper into your husband’s chest, having him huff as you pushed yourself impossibly further back into him. 

“This is what weird, not equal number!” you exclaimed loudly in your broken english. Even after the amount of time that you and Miles have been affiliated, you had never really bothered to learn his language because you didn’t necessarily need it here on Pandora. You said it with so much confidence that it made Miles stutter with laughter, not having it in him to correct your mistakes. 

“If anything i’d say that you’re the one missin’ something,” he muttered in that deep accent of his.

You looked up to him, the fine lines of your jawline flexing as you crane your neck. You pursed your lips as you planted a little kiss to Mile’s own jawline, watching coyly as his ears flutter at your affection. His movements automatically stopped at your sweet peck, his heart beating faster than it had previously done. It was silent between the both of you, but your love was loud nevertheless. 

He observed as you pulled his left hand with your own, your whole hand wrapping around his thumb only. It was no secret that Quaritch was built larger than any other forest na’vi, being a recom. His size itself was enough to frighten a lone warrior, and you never failed to feel utterly protected within the huge arms of your mate. 

Your palm was warm against his own as you pulled his hand above your waist. Without releasing his hand of your grip, you brought your right hand to mirror his hand’s finger-wide-open position. The sight of your smaller palm against his own was enough to stir many feelings inside of Quaritch’s stomach, and he swallowed down his shyness as you kept your hands together. 

Even after so much time of being together, you still could never get over his different features. They all intrigued you to no end, his extra fingers and toes, his hairy eyebrows and his odd size. You loved it all, no matter how much of a package he truly was. Emotionally, he was a whole bundle to uncover. At first he was rude and brash, unaccepting of the ways that your clan had proposed to him for a life. He was cocky and had a loud mouth that would only retaliate in his mother tongue, perhaps the only reason why you had learnt a tiny bit of english. 

Though after many months of hardcore training being put back in his place, he could only start to see your people in a new light. Especially a certain woman that would never hesitate to bite back at him, you. Funny how as much as Miles wishes he would never be alike with Jake Sully, he was also an ex enemy that had conquered the stern heart of a clan leader’s daughter. Your parents had been more adamant about him at first, and you were more closed off but hey, you can strip a man of his life and stuff his memories into a new body but his charm will always remain

He had swooped you off your feet before any other man could, and you were glad in some way. He knew what he was doing considering that he did live past 50 in his previous life, so he was unlike the immature men in your clan. He knew the ways to your heart, and how to inevitably steal it, and rob it is what he had done.

You felt Miles nuzzle his nose against the soft flesh of your cheek, both of your eyes closed as you basked in each other’s presence. The purrs that erupted from your throat once more were like a musical perfection to his ear. He reached down to press a kiss against your cheek before resuming his nuzzling. God, the old Quaritch would have probably puked at how cheesy he had become, but the current Miles would love to argue about how it’s better like this. 

How it’s better to return back home to a warm tent instead of the cold lab cubicles. How it’s better to return home with the feeling of elation because he knows that you are waiting for him back there. How the sweet aroma of your cooking is better than whatever junk is served back at the lab. 

He loved it here, and he loved you. He would rather spend the rest of his life eating larvae with the people that he once hated if it meant getting a second chance at life with you. 

-

Hey, i know this is not rlly what you wanted, but i’ll write you another fluffy quaritch story once i’m done with my requests🫶🏽

[girlbloggen]

school tips from a top student

hello angels ! i've always been a top student and this school year i'm going to be a senior so i think i've gained enough school experience to give y'all some tips in case you need them 𔘓ㅤ

★ procrastinating is your biggest enemy

this is pretty much self explanatory but I wanted to include it because it's the reason most people don't do well at school. every minute that you waste procrastinating ruins everything because you won't be able to study/do the assignments at all or they won't end up being good because of your stress. don't do this to yourself.

★ get enough sleep

a good student always gets at least 8+ hours of sleep every night & especially during the exam season. i disagree with some people that think that its ok to not study at all for the rest of the school year and to just pull all nighters during the exam season to study the things they missed. sleep is very important because if you don't sleep you simply can't concentrate so you should never skip sleeping.

★ don't be late

don't be late in the morning and don't skip classes randomly & without a reason. even if you don't get a detention the teachers won't respect you because you are the one not respecting them in the first place.

★ lying to your teacher = lying to yourself

now if you lie about the reason that you're late or the reason that you didn't do the assignments you're disrespecting your own self. also sometimes teachers don't react when a student lies to them but that doesn't mean that they don't understand it. stop thinking that you're an evil genius and that you're capable of manipulating the teachers into thinking that you're innocent. you're not, stop being delusional.

★ be two steps ahead, when it's possible

that's hard and of course it's not always possible but it's a good idea because that way you will be informed about the topic that you're going to learn so you'll be able to participate more actively in class & it will be easier for you to memorize the info.

★ look good to feel good

it's a fact that if you look neat & pretty you will be more motivated to do well in school because you'll be more confident, so take some time to pick a nice outfit, take a shower & even try a cute hairstyle.

★ but beauty shouldn't be your #1 priority rn

yes it's important to look & feel pretty but that's not the reason you're in school so it shouldn't distract you. I know girls that put too much effort in the way they look that they completely forget about their assignments.

★ discover how your brain works

if you already haven't, I suggest you to discover the way your brain memorizes faster info. some people have to write down things to learn them while others memorize easier things they hear. whatever it is it can help you to find a studying method that works for you.

★ find yourself a few productive distractions

distractions should be avoided in general but a boring schedule is bad for you too. to avoid a boring repetitive schedule find some productive things you can do other than studying for school. like practice some kind of sport or an art or learn foreign languages. keep in mind that ivy league schools appreciate people that are good students at school but at the same time they have more interests like sports or art. so bonus points if you want to get into an ivy league.

★ avoid drama at all costs

please, whatever you do, avoid drama. this is already a very stressful period of your life because you're a teenager & a student so stay away from things that can ruin your mental health and sabotage you. don't get into fights.

★ wrong (!!) time to party

I know that partying is fun but rn it's a wrong time of your life to party. partying can lead to procrastination & it can also ruin both your mental and your physical health. also most parties are full of drama and that can distract you. I know so many top students whose school performance went downhill when they magically transformed into party animals.

★ you simply don't care about other people

you shouldn't care about what your parents, your friends, your teachers, your school's mean girls etc think. you have goals to chase and that's what should concern you rn. other people don't exist to you. it's only you & your goals. be self-centered & goal-oriented. it sounds mean but it can save you.

★ treat yourself

you don't need others to congratulate you for your achievements. be the first one who does. every time you achieve something treat yourself by doing something you love. like buy a lipgloss, do your selfcare routine, eat your fav snack. you deserve it.

★ keep your standards high

don't let the society gaslight you into thinking that your standards are too high. I'm pretty sure that every person can achieve great things in their lifetime. even if you can't get something don't feel bad about it & be proud of yourself because at least you tried. don't be negative. there's a greater possibility to reach your goals if you give them a try. you can do it !

I really hope this was helpful ! If you need to ask me something my ask box & my dms are open <3

xoxo, a

[likeahorribledream]

new guy

» CHAPTER TEN: A LITTLE GUIDANCE

CHAPTER NINE

SUMMARY: WHAT LIES AHEAD FOR YOU AND RANSOM?

PAIRING: Ransom x Reader

WORD COUNT: 5.0K

WARNINGS: Fluff, angst. New Girl AU.

REQUEST: Librarian!Reader, she’s shy and insecure about her appearance.

18+. Minors DNI.

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

As soon as the door slams shut Theo and Chase come out of his room, looking around to see if the coast is clear.

"How bad do you think it is?" Theo asks.

"Pretty bad." Chase sighs. "I'm gonna go check up on her." He stops in front of your door and knocks softly. "It's me, princess. Can I come in?" 

You poke your head out from under the covers long enough to tell him to come in and disappear under them again right after. 

"Are you ok?" Your best friend asks as he closes the door behind him and walks over to your bed. 

"No. I'm not." Your voice breaks as more tears rush out of you. 

"What happened?" He sits on the edge of your bed and pushes back the covers to let you breathe. 

"I don't want to talk about it." You keep your back to him, curling up on yourself. 

He reaches over to you and rubs your back. "Where's Ransom?" 

You shrug. "I don't know, I think he- he left." You reach for a pillow and hug it tightly to your chest to try to calm yourself down.

"Want me to stay with you?" He pushes back your hair, away from your face.

"Can I be alone, please?" You whisper, scared that if you speak any louder you're going to break. 

"Of course. If you need me or Theo, just send us a text." Chase leans down and kisses your temple before standing up. "We love you." He adds before leaving. 

Ransom waits for his Über to show up to take him to his destination. 

"If you want a good tip and review I'd recommend not talking unless it's to ask for directions.."

The driver nods as he looks at him through the mirror. "Got it." 

With now time to think about what he wants to say, Ransom writes a few things down on his phone to make sure not to forget anything. He has a lot of questions to ask. 

The driver, as promised, keeps his mouth shut and Ransom gives him 5 stars and a $50 tip just for leaving him alone. 

He gets out of the car and up the few steps that lead to the front door, going in right after knocking. 

It's only been a few months since he has stepped into this house but it feels like it has been years. Things change quickly, he has changed too. Probably more so in the past few months than he has over the past 10 years. 

"I thought we were finally rid of you." Fran sighs as she sees Ransom walking toward her. 

"Fuck off." He says as he walks past her to his grandfather's office. He knocks but this time he waits for permission before walking in. 

"I like the beard and longer hair. It suits you." Harlan says to him as he takes a seat. 

"Mh. Thanks." He runs his fingers through his hair. 

"Not a fan of the bloodshot eyes though." 

Ransom sighs and glances down at the desk before looking back up. "Why did you have kids?" 

Harlan sits back in his chair and looks at his grandson, really looks at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Have you always wanted kids? Is it because Nana and Great Nana wanted them for you? Why did you choose to have kids?" 

Harlan takes a moment to really think about his answer, he's not sure why Ransom is asking him this but he has a feeling that his answer could potentially change Ransom's opinion. Whatever it is. "I don't know how it happened." He says sincerely. "I don't remember ever thinking about wanting to have kids until I met your Nana. I was a lot like you when I was younger. Reckless and handsome." He teases to lighten up the mood. "You often hear people say "I met the love of my life and my world got turned upside down" but when I met the love of my life my world finally made sense. All the puzzle pieces fell into place and everything felt right. I loved her with all of my being, still do. There's not a day that I don't miss her but she's not really truly gone because I see little pieces of her in every single one of you." He smiles fondly. "I can't say when exactly I decided to have kids, all I remember is thinking that the world would be a better place with more of her in it. Now that she's gone, I'm glad I have all of you to remind me of her."  

"Would you still choose to have kids if you knew how bad we were going to turn out?" 

"Not everyone turned out bad and it's not entirely their fault if they did." 

"Meg is fine but the rest of us, not so much." 

"You turned out fine." Harlan looks at Ransom with a smile and pride in his eyes.

Ransom can't help but laugh. "In what world did I turn out fine?" 

"Look at how much you've changed since I cut you off, how much you've grown. For the first time in… years, you look happy. Genuinely happy."

Ransom shrugs and looks down. "I was." 

"It's that girl, right? Your friend that Marta helped? You fell in love."

It's not a question, it doesn't need to be.

"What happened?" 

Rubbing his hands over his face and sighing, Ransom feels close to breaking down again. "She wants to have kids." 

"And you don't?" Harlan asks curiously.

"Why would I? With how fucked up our family is, I don't need to put that kind of burden on a child or on her. She deserves better. My dad cheats on my mom constantly, they both hate me and each other." He shakes his head. "I'll be a shitty dad and a shitty husband." 

"Tell me, do you think your dad stops to think "am I being a shitty husband?" before cheating on your mother?" 

"Fuck no." Ransom laughs but there's no joy to it.

"Exactly."

Ransom frowns and raises a brow, confused. "Exactly, what?"

Harlan chuckles and sits up on his chair, leaning forward on his desk. "You are not your father. You are nothing like your father. You love her, you care about her. Let's forget about your parents, about this family. It's just you and her in the world, would you have kids with her?" 

"Of course I would. She's my whole fucking world, I'd do anything for her. I'd give her anything she asked for but this is the real world and Drysdale men don't make good fathers." 

"Then break the cycle." Harlan says, like it's the most obvious solution. 

"Oh, right. Sure. Just like that." Ransom answers, clearly being sarcastic as he rolls his eyes. 

"Why not? Are you a good boyfriend to her?" 

"I don't know. I guess."

"Do you love her? Show her affection? Treat her right? Take care of her? Respect her?" 

"I do."

"Then you've already broken the cycle of Drysdale men being shitty boyfriends or husbands. If you can do that then you can break the bad father cycle." 

"What if I can't and I end up ruining her life and the kid's life?"

"What if you can and you end up being happy with a great family?" 

"I hate it when you answer my question with a question." He shakes his head.

"I know you do." Harlan chuckles. 

"I'm scared I might have lost her." Ransom admits, so quietly that Harlan almost missed it.

"If you love her then fight for her. If you just give up then you're sure to lose her. Go home, fix it." 

Ransom runs a hand through his hair. "We have two roommates, they are protective of her, they probably won't let me talk to her alone and if they do they'll just hide and listen to everything." 

"Here." Harlan opens his desk drawer and pulls out a set of keys. "Send them there."

"Are those the keys to my old house?"

"Those are the keys to the house that I paid for. Now go, fight for your girl. Make me proud." 

Ransom stands up and takes the keys. He walks over to the door and opens it, turning around to add one more thing. "Please don't tell anyone about me and her. I don't want them anywhere near my relationship." 

Harlan nods. "You got it. Your secret is safe with me." 

"Thank you. For everything." 

His grandfather smiles at him. "I'm proud of you Ransom." 

He walks out of the house while taking his phone out of his pocket and tries to call you. He's not surprised when you don't pick up, it was to be expected. He hangs up to get an Über and he's surprised to see how late it is already. He hadn't realized that so much time had passed. It's almost dinner time but it feels later than that because of how dark it already is outside. 

On his ride home, Ransom thinks about how or what he'll need to do to get you alone without the guys. 

Once he gets dropped off near the building, he calls Theo to say he needs to see both he and Chase to clear the air before seeing you. After the call, he runs up the stairs and waits until he's sure they are gone. 

After the night they had locked you up in the loft together you had confiscated the keys from that specific lock and put them all in a drawer in the kitchen so while the guys are moving down to the first floor, Ransom quietly sneaks into the loft and locks the door. He leaves the key just in case one of you wants to get out, he doesn't want to hold you hostage he just wants to keep the guys out until he has had a chance to have a real talk with you. 

He sends them a quick text to tell them where he hid the key of his old house with the address. The guys would be pissed if they weren't so impressed by how quickly Ransom has learned to play by their rules. Plus, there are worse ways to spend your Saturday night than in a giant, beautiful house. 

Once he's sure the guys won't be interrupting anything Ransom takes off his shoes and his jacket, leaving them close to the front door. He takes a few deep breaths to settle his nerves before heading to your room. 

He usually loves moments when the loft is calm and in complete silence, like right now, but tonight he wishes there would be a noise, a sound, anything to cover his nervous heartbeat and the blood rushing through his veins at an incredible speed.

Ransom turns the knob and walks in without a sound before closing the door again. He moves closer to your bed, his heart clenching painfully at the sight of you looking so small and fragile, almost broken. He hates that he did this to you.

Lifting up the covers, Ransom carefully gets into your bed and lies behind you. A sigh of relief almost escapes his lips when you don't flinch or tense up at his presence, counting it as a small win. 

You have no idea what time it is, all you know is that you've spent the entire day in bed crying, sleeping or staring at the wall in front of you. You're tired and your body aches from lying in the same position for hours on end, yet you can't find the energy to move. Not even to turn around. Chase and Theo check up on you often to make sure you don't need anything, maybe that's why you're able to tell right away when it's Ransom who comes in and not one of your other roommates. 

You let him get in and settle down right behind you without saying anything. What is there to say that hasn't already been said earlier? 

What you don't expect is for him to reach over and wrap his arm around you, like he always does, and you feel terrible for jumping the way you do. Ransom tries to move his arm away when he sees and feels you get scared but you stop him, putting your hand on top of his. 

Ransom's eyes are burning with unshed tears as he wraps his front around your back, getting as close to you as physically possible. 

"I'm sorry for leaving the way I did." He says quietly, not surprised to hear the pain in his own voice. "Can you turn around, please?" 

You hesitate but slowly turn around to be facing him. As soon as he sees your face he moves his hand away from your waist and uses it to wipe off the fresh tears on your cheeks, not realizing that his own are now running free.

"I'm so sorry, kitten. I'm so fucking sorry." He whispers, knowing that his voice can't get any louder without breaking or wavering. 

You're fast to cover his cheeks with your hands, using your thumbs to make his tears disappear as soon as they come out. "You don't have to apologize. Sometimes things just don't work out." You give him the tiniest of smiles to show him you're not mad. You could never be mad at him for knowing what he wants or doesn't want. 

Ransom's eyes widen as he realizes why you think he's apologizing. "No, no, no, no." He says quickly and puts his index finger under your chin to make you look in his eyes. "I went to see Harlan today and we talked, for hours. You were right. I'm not my dad and I'll never be my dad. I love you, I'm fucking crazy about you and I never want to hurt you. I promise I'll never cheat on you or do anything else to hurt you, to hurt us." 

"Oh, Ran. I know you won't. The thought never even crossed my mind and I love you, I really do that's why it hurts so much but we want different things. As much as I love and adore you, I haven't changed my mind about wanting to have kids. I'm sorry." 

"I know, kitten. That's what I'm trying to say." He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and rests his forehead against yours. "I changed my mind."

Your eyes widen and you quickly sit up. "Are you for real?"

"Yes." He sits up too, facing you. 

"A few hours ago you didn't even want to think about having kids, Ran this isn't like changing your mind about getting a cat." 

"Like I said, I talked to Harlan and he opened my eyes on a few things." He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger across your cheek. "If it were someone else, I wouldn't have changed my mind but it's you. I know you won't be scared to call me out if I do something bad and I know I'll love our kids because they will be yours. I really thought about it, I'm sure."

You stare at him speechless. "Maybe you should take some more time to think about it." You suggest, a little taken aback.

"I don't need to." 

You're shocked that he has changed his mind so rapidly but also shocked that you believe him even if you think an afternoon isn’t enough to make such a big decision. He seems so sure of himself, there's not even an ounce of doubt in his voice, in his words or in his eyes. 

Before you try to argue again, Ransom closes the distance between the two of you and kisses you. It starts off chaste and soft but it quickly turns sloppy and full of need, full of desire. One of his hands travels down your body to the small of your back where his hand then moves under your shirt. He sighs at the contact of your warm, soft skin and moves closer to you. 

You put your hands to the back of his head where you tangle your fingers in his hair to keep him close, as if he'd ever dare to leave you like this. 

Ransom kisses the corner of your lips and trails down from your cheek to the side of your neck to give you a chance to breathe. He sucks and nips at the skin, smiling against your neck when he feels you shiver. 

You bite your lower lip and close your eyes to let yourself get lost in his touch. 

He lifts up his head and he grins at the sight in front of him. "You look so beautiful." He presses his lips to yours, stealing your breath once more. He helps you lie down on your back, holding himself up with one hand flat on the mattress while the other is still on your back. He lowers himself with you and settles his body on top of yours, between your legs so as to not crush you under his weight. His hand that's on your back moves from under you and comes to take yours instead, intertwining his fingers with yours as he raises them above your head to rest on the pillow. 

Once again Ransom breaks off the kiss to let you breathe and instead presses soft kisses all over your cheeks, forehead and nose. He stops to look down into your eyes when he feels you cupping his cheek in the palm of your free hand to get his attention. 

"I love you." You say softly after feeling the urge to say it first this time. 

Ransom's breath hitches in his throat and he gently squeezes your hand that he's holding. He gets lost in his own mind for a few moments, trying to think back to the last time that someone told him they loved him and meant it. For years girls have told him they loved him, not because that was how they felt but because they thought it could get them expensive gifts or money. It didn't. Those three little words have always turned Ransom off, until tonight. He used to hate hearing them but now they might be his favorite words. "Fuck." He curses quietly under his breath, his heart is pounding in his chest in the most wonderful way. "I love you." He adds quickly right before kissing the tip of your nose. "Wanna get started on those babies?" He asks you, cheekily as he wiggles his eyebrows and grins down at you. 

You can't help but laugh at his playful attitude. You tilt your head a little to the side, matching his playfulness. "Are you sure you want the babies and not just the baby making?" 

"I'm a big, big fan of the baby making." He smirks. "But I'm gonna be an even bigger fan of the babies that come from it." 

You shake your head as you smile, amused. "How about for right now we practice and we can talk about babies tomorrow morning?" 

"Anything you want, my love." He smiles as he leans down to kiss you. The moment your lips touch, his playfulness is gone and all of his focus is on making you feel good, beautiful and loved beyond words. Over and over again until you're both too exhausted to move.

Ransom rolls off of you and lies on his back next to you, letting you both catch your breath. You wiggle closer until you’re flushed against his side and rest the back of your head on his bicep. He moves his head to look at you and smiles at how relaxed and at peace you look. He wraps his index finger and thumb on both sides of your jaw to angle your head in the right direction to give him easy access to your lips as he leans in to kiss you. He nips at your bottom lip before pulling away.

‘’We totally just made a baby, I can feel it.’’ He rests his head back on the pillow and looks up at the ceiling. 

You laugh and take the hand that was on your face, holding it between yours as you close your eyes. ‘’I think it’s going to take a little while before we do. At least I hope so.’’

Ransom frowns and turns his head to look at you. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’

You blindly trace his pinky ring with the tip of your finger, slowly opening your eyes to look back at him. ‘’I love how excited you are about this but we don’t need to have a kid now. We need money, lots of it and our own place because I’m not taking care of a newborn baby on top of taking care of Theo and Chase.’’

‘’Right.’’ He sighs. ‘’I keep forgetting that money is an issue for me now.’’

You raise a hand to his beard and gently scratch with your fingers along his jawline. ‘’We just need to come up with a plan, to make sure we’re ready when it does happen. If we did make a baby tonight, we’ll make it work but I’d like to be prepared.’’

‘’It’s a good thing that one of us is smart.’’ 

‘’Don’t say that, you’re smart too.’’ 

‘’Oh, I know. I was talking about myself.’’ He laughs at your shocked gasp and kisses your temple. ‘’I’m just teasing.’’

You sit up to put your shirt and leggings back on. ‘’I hope you enjoyed getting laid earlier because that was the last time in a very long while.’’ You stick out your tongue at him before hurrying out of your bed and heading to the bathroom to take a shower. 

‘’No, come back.’’ He tries to stop you from getting out of bed but you’re too quick. ‘’Kitten.’’ He whines and smiles when he hears you laugh. He gets out of bed and follows you to the bathroom, not bothering with putting on any clothes since it’s just the two of you and he has locked out your other two roommates. ‘’What are we doing?’’ He asks, innocently.

‘’I’m taking a shower.’’ You turn on the water to let it warm up before getting in.

‘’What a great idea for us to take a shower.’’ 

You bite down on your lip, trying not to laugh and encourage him. You shake your head instead. 

He leans down to kiss the side of your neck, covering every inch of skin with his lips as he puts his hands under the front of your shirt to cover your stomach. ‘’Need some help with your clothes, kitten?’’ He nips at the skin right under your ear, making you shiver.

You slightly lean back into him, making him think he has won but you quickly snap out of it and pull away. ‘’I got it, thanks. I’ll be done soon if you want to take a shower after.’’ You take off your clothes and walk inside the shower, closing the door behind you as you step under the water. 

A few seconds later you feel a big gush of cold air coming in, making you aware that Ransom has opened the door. He steps in and stands behind you as he closes the door right after. 

‘’Ran, what are you doing?’’ You don’t turn around, your poker face sucks and you want to pretend to be mad for as long as you can. 

‘’Just making sure my beautiful baby mama is safe.’’ He wraps his arms around your shoulders and kisses the back of your head. 

You laugh quietly and lean back into him. ‘’I’m not a baby mama yet.’’

‘’Yet. But I’m working on it..’’ He moves his hands to rest on top of your stomach and you almost melt at how adorable he is being since coming back from Harlan’s. 

A small part of you wants to tease him and tell him that he’s being super cheesy but the sincerity in his voice stops you. Instead you put your hands on top of his and relax under the hot water. 

‘’Ran?’’ You say his name quietly after a few minutes of just holding one another. 

‘’Yes, my love?’’ 

‘’I’m starving.’’ 

He chuckles. ‘’Yeah, me too. Let’s wash up and then we can go out.’’

‘’Out? Ransom Drysdale are you taking me out on a date?’’ You turn your head to look up at him.

He smiles and kisses your forehead. ‘’I don’t know if you can call it a date because I definitely can’t afford fancy restaurants but we’re going out to eat.’’ 

‘’Well, lucky for you I’m more of a small restaurant kinda girl. Small prices, big portions and I have my own money.’’ 

‘’I’m paying and I sure am lucky.’’ He smiles before letting go of you to grab the soap. 

By the time you get out there is no more hot water but neither of you care. You head back to your rooms to get dressed and meet back at the front door.

You’ve decided to walk to the small italian restaurant a few blocks away, you’ve gone often but Ransom hasn’t had a chance to eat there yet and you have a feeling he’s going to love it. You, Theo and Chase have been going there for years and the owners know you well, they often give you discounts that you pay back in their tip. 

You sit at your usual table and Ransom surprises you by sitting next to you instead of sitting across from you. You are so used to your boyfriends being either ashamed of being seen with you or trying to hide that they have a girlfriend in case they run into their other girlfriends that you’re always pleasantly surprised to see Ransom doing the exact opposite. He puts his arm on the back of your chair once he's settled and runs his fingers up the back of your neck as he takes one of the menus to decide on what to eat. 

You on the other hand don't even look at the menu because you know exactly what you're going to eat, the same thing as usual. 

"Everything looks so good." He says as he flips through the few pages with his free hand. 

"It tastes even better, I promise." 

"I bet. It smells amazing in here." He quickly glances around to see what is on other people's plates to potentially help him make a decision. There are so many choices and it's hard to choose just one.

A waiter comes over to pour you water and take your orders, leaving swiftly after. 

Ransom gets closer and kisses your cheek as he reaches for his glass of water at the same time with his free hand, taking a few quick sips before putting it down. He watches as you lean into his side, smiling as he watches you yawn and rest your head on his shoulder. Bringing his hand up to your head, he gently strokes your hair while kissing the top of your head. "Tired, my love?" 

You nod. "Yes. Today was exhausting." 

His heart clenches at the painful thought of everything he put you through today. "I'm so sorry." 

"You don't have to apologize, Ran." 

"Yes, I do. I hurt you and I made you cry. I'm sorry." 

You tilt your head to be able to look at him without having to move away from his shoulder. "You didn't hurt me or make me cry. I was scared that we were done and I didn't want us to be."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily." He teases, smiling lovingly down at you. 

"Good, I don't want you to go anywhere." You smile back at him, a look of pure adoration in your eyes.

Anyone that would look at the two of you right now could see, without even knowing you, that you're in love with each other. The looks, the smiles and the touches are filled with respect and need for each other that makes it beautiful to watch the interaction between you two. 

You barely let go of each other long enough to eat and as soon as you're done you find yourself back into Ransom's side. 

The same waiter from earlier comes back over to clear your plates and ask if you need anything else.

"I'm full, thank you." You smile before finishing your water and putting your empty glass back on the table.

"Just the check." 

You try to pay for your half of the bill but Ransom insists on paying, you know better than to try and fight him. Instead you might "find" $20 in his jeans pockets while doing the laundry, that you'll make sure to give back. 

You walk back to the loft with your arm around his waist and his arm around your shoulders. Walking is a great way to help the food go down but the air is getting cold and gets through your clothes. 

Once in the elevator Ransom pushes on the button for your floor and wraps his arms around you, hiding you under his coat to help warm you up. Back in the apartment, he locks the door again to keep the other two out for the night and meets you in the bathroom to brush his teeth as you do the same. You both head back to his room, closing the door behind you, then taking off your clothes to get into his bed. He stays in only his briefs while you steal one of his t-shirts to cover yourself with for the night.

"I love you, thank you for tonight." You press a kiss to his chest before laying your head on top of his heart, just in time to hear it flutter at the first three words of your sentence. 

"I love you." He rubs your back, closing his eyes as he breathes you in. 

Thankfully the day ends in the exact same way it started: You in the arms of the man that you love feeling good and protected, right where you belong.

[misc-obeyme]

Be Careful of Bedheads

For once in my life, I'm actually ahead on a series lol. I wrote this days ago, Simeon's is already done, and Satan's is partway finished. And these are the last three of this series. Though I have a couple extras I wanted to do so maybe I'll have some bonus ones? Maybe I'll do another secret scene smut sequel? I'm thinking about it.

Anyway, I'm actually really fond of Belphie. He gives me such petulant emo boy vibes and that is so fun to write.

I'd also like to mention that I took some artistic liberties in the description of Lucifer's office. When I looked at the picture of it again, there is indeed a sort of balcony area for the bookshelves. I just expanded on that a little bit. I also tried to keep the description of MC's hair vague so it could look like anything. Not sure how successful that was, but I did try!

GN!MC x Belphegor

Warnings: just a little bit of kissing at the end

BELPHEGOR Hey. I forgot to say when I passed you by in the hallway earlier. Your hair's sticking up in the back.

MC Yours too, Belphie.

BELPHEGOR Huh? Argh, you're right. You should have told me earlier. Though I suppose I don't mind as much if we're matching.

You laughed and shook your head at Belphie's texts. Still, you thought you should probably fix your hair before the two of you went out for the day. You turned around and started back down the hallway.

Just as you were about to pass the twins' room, Belphie came out, his hair just as messed up as it was when you saw it earlier.

He looked at you with a petulant expression, as if daring you to say something about it.

You tried to hold in a laugh while you grabbed his hand. "C'mon, let me fix it for you."

Belphie looked like he was about to protest, but he didn't get the chance as you started back down the hall, dragging him along behind you. After a minute, his hand closed around yours and he let you lead the way.

You pulled him into the bathroom and stopped in front of the mirror. You looked at yourself standing side by side with Belphie, hands still clasped, both of you with your hair sticking out oddly in the back. You tried very hard not to laugh again, the smile fighting with the edges of your mouth.

Belphie was frowning. He closed his eyes and sighed. "It's fine, you can laugh."

You finally gave in, laughing into the hand that wasn't holding Belphie's. "Come on, it's pretty funny."

Belphie gave you one of his soft laughs and your stomach fluttered as he finally smiled. "Okay, it is kinda funny."

You let go of his hand, picked up a brush from the counter, and moved behind him. You ran your fingers through his hair for a moment. Then you used the brush, carefully ensuring that the strands were no longer askew. You took your time, savoring the closeness and the excuse to touch Belphie's soft hair.

But you couldn't brush his hair too long without it getting weird, so when you were satisfied with how it was laying, you put the brush down.

You looked at him in the mirror again and folded your arms. "There," you said. "That's better, right?"

Belphie ran a hand down his hair. "Yeah," he said. Then he picked up the brush. "Now let me fix yours."

You snatched the brush out of his hands. "No way," you said. "I can do it myself! It's not as bad as yours anyway."

"Come on, MC," Belphie said, taking the brush back from you. "I let you do mine. It's only fair."

You huffed. "Fine," you said.

You told Belphie exactly what he needed to do to fix the issue with your hair and he complied easily, using whatever tools or products you instructed him to use. The feeling of his fingers on your scalp was relaxing and you found yourself feeling a little sleepy by the time he was done.

"There," he said. "Now you're done, too. Do you still want to go shopping today?"

"If you still want to go, then sure," you said.

Belphie shrugged. "I don't mind, but you seem kind of sleepy. Are you sure you don't want to take a nap instead?"

You looked at him askance. "Are you sure you don't want to take a nap instead?"

"I always want to take a nap," Belphie said. "But if we do, it might mess up our hair again."

"And we can always fix it again," you said.

Belphie didn't seem to need much more encouragement than that. This time he grabbed you by the hand, pulling you out of the bathroom and back down the hallway.

"Where are we going?" you asked as he took you right past his own bedroom door.

"We can't nap in my room or your room or even the attic," he said. "Everybody will think to look for us in those places. But Lucifer's out of the house today, so…"

"So?" you asked, confused.

Belphie didn't elaborate, only pulled you along. Eventually you found yourself in Lucifer's office.

"Um," you said as Belphie continued to lead you through the room.

He took you to one of the sets of stairs that went up to a small balcony above the room. From below, it looked like this was only a thin balcony with a set of bookshelves, but as you followed Belphie to the end of it, you found it opened up just a little and created a kind of small alcove by the window.

Already in this alcove was a pile of pillows and blankets, creating a little nest.

"I sneak up here sometimes when Lucifer's gone," Belphie said. "Because nobody ever thinks to look for me here."

You laughed softly and shook your head. "I should have known you would have a little hideaway for napping like this. Does Lucifer know about it?"

Belphie sighed. "He didn't at first, but he figured it out. He didn't make me move all my blankets, but he usually doesn't let me stay when he's working."

Belphie pulled you down onto the soft collection of pillows, tugging a blanket over both of you as he settled by your side. The two of you faced each other and you snuggled down into Belphie's chest as he wrapped an arm around your back.

You felt Belphie's fingers on your head again, caressing you gently like he was fixing your hair again. It was such a nice, soft feeling that you felt your eyelids getting heavy already.

Just before you felt like you might drift off, you propped yourself up on an elbow. Belphie looked up at you, startled, not moving.

You watched his eyes for a moment before leaning forward and kissing him.

Belphie was so surprised, he gasped against your lips, but a second later you felt his arms around you again, pulling you down on top of him. He responded easily to the feeling of you, keeping his mouth open, allowing you to deepen things if you wanted to.

Maybe you did. But Belphie was right. Nobody found you there in Lucifer's office until much later, when Lucifer finally came home from wherever he had been. He climbed the stairs to find you and Belphie asleep in each other's arms, but instead of waking you up, he simply took a book off the shelf and went back down to his desk.

others in this series:

Mammon | Barbatos | Solomon | Lucifer | Simeon

Leviathan | Asmodeus | Diavolo | Beelzebub | Satan

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[tinytinyblogs]

Skz Soft Hours: Han

He has learned to love everything you love, and he allows himself to be drawn to you.

Ceo!Han

Stray kids masterlist

Jisung treats you like you're the top of his priority, far better than he would treat a friend. He walks the path you've built in life, trying to understand you, learn about you, and get used to you and everything about you. "It's alright," he says, placing his hand on yours. His touch and his look tell you that he's not even mad that you spilled your drink on his perfect suit "I have a backup set of clothes". You've always been confused by Jisung's behavior, both when you were in school together and now that he's the CEO of the company you work for. He treats you better than anyone else, but he never explains why, maybe Jisung himself doesn't fully understand his feelings or why he does the things he does.

"I'm sorry, sir," you say. "Jisung," he says. "It's Han Jisung. Don't call me that." He's always shining brightly, so far above you, who lives a mundane life. People adore him like a gem, and for good reason. He's smart, talented, and kind. But this gem has eyes only for you, even though you can't think of anything about yourself that anyone would adore. "But we're in the workplace, and you're the CEO, Han Jisung. I can't call you that." Jisung loves the peace and quiet of being alone. He doesn't like to be bothered by anyone, except you. You, above all others, make his heart beat faster for no apparent reason. Seeing you smiling and laughing from afar makes him feel so peaceful, without him even realizing it. He can't help but feel his eyes drawn to you everywhere, as if he's admiring God's greatest creation.

You're the only one who makes his darkness shine. Just like you, he sees you as one of a kind. He's always there for you, silently by your side in every situation. He understands you in a way that no one else does. He doesn't understand why he's drawn to you like this. It's confusing for both of you. "I don't like you to be so formal with me," he says. "Just call me Jisung, like it should be." When you look at Jisung with those beautiful eyes of yours, the flowers on his heart bloom. Out of all the people in the world, the only attention he craves is yours.

He seems to be changing his preferences, like drinking your favorite drink even though he said he doesn't like it. He shrugs it off, saying, "It's not that bad." His heart is more open than ever. He used to be so negative about so many things, but now he sees the world in a different way, thanks to you. "Anyway," he says, "I got tickets to the art gallery. Want to come?" You're glad that the other workers are busy with their own things, so you and Jisung can have your own little world. You're not stupid, you know. You can see that he treats you differently from everyone else, even if he doesn't say it. There's something more to it than that. You don't want to get ahead of yourself, but the way he's leading you makes it clear where this is going: love.

"Since when do you go to art galleries, Jisung?" you ask, your heart pounding in your chest. "This is the first time," he says. "Since you love it so much." You melt for art, but he doesn't. Yet he's learning to see what you love. He's down to try anything you like, as long as he can see the sparkle in your eyes your smile lights up your face when you see and do things you love for Jisung. It's like a drug to him, and he needs to make sure it never fades. He wants to know everything about you. Even the most terrible things seem bearable when they come from you. His feelings for you are too deep to deny.

He has long since made sure that he is good enough to be with you, and he has experienced the joy of letting those feelings grow and bloom. "You don't need to go somewhere you don't want to just because I love it," The sun shines brightly through the huge windows of his room, but he's forgotten the stack of papers and the other things he needs to do. For Jisung, nothing is more important than this moment with you. If Jisung's feelings for you are already too serious, it's not just because he's curious about you. He wants to be with you, and he wants to hold your hand forever.

"I want to go there," he says, finally uttering the words he's been wanting to say for so long. Over time, you've grown closer and closer, always there for each other through thick and thin. Without even realizing it, you've become an essential part of his life. "With you together." Now, he doesn't want to miss out on a single moment longer. He wants to take you on a journey, like he should have done long ago. "I'd love to take you out on a date."

You don't even need to knock on his heart. He's opened it wide for you, waiting desperately for you to come in. He wants you in his life that much. "A date sound good but you have a meeting after this, remember?" You says to him gently remind him that he has a lot on his plate, but he still made time to ask you out, he fixing your clothes and hugging you close. His eyes never leave yours. "So, is it a yes?" You walk in to him, just like he wanted you to. You wouldn't say no to someone who cares for you so deeply and loves you so purely.

You glance at the clock on the wall, making sure you're not missing anything, as you listen to Jisung's sweet words. "Only if you told me too, everything you love," You says. "Show me your world like you learn about me, Han Jisung." Happiness spreads across his face as he speaks, and he doesn't realize how exciting the boring office can be when you're there with him. "Prepare yourself," he warns. "I talk a lot when I'm with someone I feel comfortable with."

💬well just two members away from completing this series. If you have any requests, questions, or just want to chat, please feel free to do so. I'm also open to suggestions for second parts of the Soft Hours series. Just let me know which member you'd like me to write about.

[rebekadjarin]

Watch me

Chapter 16 of Golden Dawn

A/N: For the life of me, I will finish this fic! If you're new here, Golden Dawn is my reader insert comfort bad batch fanfic with a slow burn Crosshair love story (with smut). It's about going on missions, hanging out with the batch and overall just them being happy and having fun. Other clones are included too! If you are interested, here is chapter one.

Summary: You spend an eventful day on Kamino with the bad batch and you get to spend some time with everyone, especially Crosshair. He seems unable to take his hands off you but you both have your duties. It doesn't mean that you can't squeeze in some quality time for the two of you... One of your favourite 501st boy also appears, and you get to find out what the hell Hardcase got into this time.

Rating: super explicit, explicit on the square

Word count: 11k

Warnings: S M U T, cum

My old taglist: @fangirl-goes-nova @murdertoothpick @tacticalsparkles @coffeeandtodd @moonstrider9904 @luosymekawa @littlemisscare-all (if you want to be added/removed, just message me!)

You read the chapter here or click on the chapter title in the beginning and it will lead you to my ao3

“We have training to do,” Crosshair told you in the morning when you asked what their program for the day was. 

“Do I have to go?” you asked and stretched, sitting on his bed. You already got ready but you lay back just for another five minutes while the others went ahead. 

“No, I don’t want them anywhere near you,” he answered and you sent him a questioning look. “When we didn’t train with Jango, they had other bounty hunters do the job. And I also prefer to train you myself,” he added with a small smirk. 

“I think we have been doing a little different kind of physical exercise lately,” you suppressed a smile and he came closer. He bent forward to lean on the bed with his hands and you stopped breathing for a second. 

“Which proved to be more effective than I ever imagined.” His voice was raspy from the morning and also because of lust. 

Your lower muscles clenched in anticipation but you were rudely interrupted when Tech’s head popped into the room to hurry Crosshair. 

“In a minute,” he quickly got rid of Tech. 

“Maybe I do want to come along with you after all,” you stood up and looked up at Crosshair’s face. 

He moved his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other and raised an eyebrow. 

“I want to watch,” you added with an innocent smile. 

“Really?” he stepped so close that you could feel his hot breath on your skin but he didn’t touch you. “You want to watch, sunshine?” 

You nodded with that same playful look on your face. 

“Because I can make you watch, if you’d like to,” he continued and you gulped loudly, making him smirk. “Or maybe change it up and make me the one looking at you while you’re pleasuring yourself, hm? How soon would you come under my gaze?” 

You felt like the floor disappeared from under your feet and you moaned loudly at the picture his words painted into your mind. That would be so excruciatingly arousing. You couldn’t take it anymore and rested your forehead against his chest and interlaced your hands around his waist. 

Your hands traveled up his back and scratched it. You got so turned on by this little conversation of yours that you couldn’t stop yourself and started leaving wet kisses on his neck. He was still standing motionless. 

“Crosshair,” you said his name while continuing to suck on his neck. “I think I could come only listening to your voice,” you confessed and he couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed your waist roughly. 

“Fuck,” he said and pulled your hips closer to his. “I have to go,” he said but his grip on your body didn’t loosen. 

You reached down with your hands and started to take off his codpiece. “You can make it quick,” you placed another kiss on his neck. “You already got me hot and wet enough.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he groaned and ripped his codpiece off to take his hard cock out and shoved you back on the bed. You grinned as his self-control shattered and he flipped you to your stomach and yanked your trousers down. 

“Fuck it,” he continued cursing and quickly bent down and bit your ass before putting his cock in front of your entrance. “Just from my voice you say?” he grabbed your hips and shoved himself inside you with one rough motion. 

You didn’t lie when you said you were ready for him, he slid in easily but you still moaned at his roughness. 

“Just from me watching you?” he started thrusting into you and you had to stop yourself from yelling loudly from pleasure as he roughly fucked you. “You think you could come only from those?” he asked, out of his mind while fucking you. 

“I do, Crosshair, I could,” you nodded frantically while he continued to destroy you. 

He let his hands travel up your back, under your shirt and find their way to your breasts. He started to draw circles with his thumbs around your nipples. 

“I believe you,” he moaned into your ears. “But let’s just remember how well you come around my cock,” he buried himself deeply inside you while still stimulating your nipples and a quick but strong orgasm exploded in you and all you could do was whimper while he fucked you through it. 

You heard a knock on the door and Tech’s voice came from outside to hurry up Crosshair because they were really going to be late. 

“Just a second,” Crosshair shouted back in a completely normal and collected voice while not slowing his pace. “See, I’m going to be late because of you,” he whispered into your ears. 

You couldn’t collect yourself enough to form a coherent answer but he just fucked you faster before he pulled his cock out of you and rutted it against your ass, coming in hot pulses on your lower back. You felt his thick cum cover you and drip from your hips. 

You moaned loudly when you felt his cum all over your body and he patted your ass before standing up and putting himself away. He quickly picked his codpiece up and reattached it while you were trying to catch your breath, laying on the bed, covered in his cum. 

“Crosshair,” you groaned and looked back at him. He was standing next to the bed, armor back to the usual, his eyes mischievously shining. 

“Yes, sunshine?” he cocked his head on one side.

“I don’t think I can get up,” you confessed. You barely felt your limbs, you were still so numb from having just been fucked like this. 

“That’s alright, you look perfect, covered in my cum, lying there, numb from my cock,” he smirked smugly and you groaned. 

“I really have to go,” he added and walked toward the door. 

“You can’t leave me here like this,” you shouted after him. 

“Watch me,” he winked at you and walked out. 

“You want to explain what took you so long?” you faintly heard Tech’s annoyed voice in front of the door. 

“No,” Crosshair answered simply as their steps slowly faded away. 

You let out an exasperated breath and trembled when you felt another drip of his cum flow down your ass. He really made sure you couldn’t follow him for the training. 

You wondered for a second about what kind of bounty hunters trained them that he didn’t want to let you close to them but you were too distracted to dwell too long on it. 

It took you several more minutes to collect yourself enough to get up and you were thinking about getting back at him the whole time. He was usually the collected one who reduced you into a blubbering mess but you wanted to see him be the one begging one time. You weren’t even sure it was possible but you would definitely try. 

A shower helped you recover from the rough morning sex with Crosshair but your heart was still racing and your cheeks felt hot whenever you remembered it. 

After calming dawn a little you decided to make yourself useful. You started with visiting the medical area to help out the medics there. 

You saw a few kaminoans and couldn’t stop following their slender figures flow on the corridors. Hearing their smooth voice sent shivers down your spine and you had trouble finding them sympathetic. 

You were relieved to see that there were clone medics working in the hospital wing and not kaminoans. They creeped you out and you couldn’t really put your fingers around the feeling. 

“Hardcase?” you stopped immediately when you caught a glimpse of his tattoo in the corner of your eyes. 

“Hey Medy!” he greeted you eagerly and sat up, just to press his palm on his side and groan from the sudden movement. He tried to ignore the pain and continued talking. “Fives and Echo told me that you’re around, I’m so happy to run into you!”

You instantly changed into medic mode and stepped closer to examine his injury. 

“I’d rather not see you here, Hardcase,” you shook your head a little. “What happened to you this time?”

“Ehhh,” he looked away, feeling a little embarrassed. “I fell down.”

“From where?” you raised a brow because it was never this easy with him. 

“Well out of the window. But I really had no choice!” he protested vehemently. “Rex clearly told me not to even think about walking out the door. He didn’t say anything about the window,” he smiled mischievously. 

“Why am I not surprised,” you shook your head and scanned him. You quickly checked the results and saw that the injury wasn’t too bad. “I’ll apply a bacta patch and you need to take some medication for the next few days,” you searched for the right ones and handed them to him. 

“Thanks Medy,” he smiled at you and took them. ”Now you can apply the patch,” he grinned and pulled up his shirt. You rolled your eyes but did as he said.  

“Why did you have to stay in that room anyway? Did you do something?” you sent him a questioning look.

“I might have successfully made a small explosion after tampering with some gadgets," he confessed. “But you should have seen it! It was mind-blowing! I might have just come up with a new weapon,”  he was clearly proud of himself and you couldn’t suppress a smile. 

“I’m glad that it wasn’t literally mind-blowing,” you laughed and he just waved it off. 

“So yeah, after that Rex sent me back to my room to think about what I did or something like that, I didn’t really pay attention to be honest.”

“And why did you decide to leave the room?” you were still trying to put the story together. 

“I was hungry,” he shrugged. 

“And why did you fall? I have seen you pull off far worse stuff. Not that I advise you to do those,” you sent him a playfully scolding look. 

“Oh yeah, I totally had it under control,” he waved. “But then I saw Rex behind a window and he was just about to turn. I swear to you he felt that I was there. So I had to disappear and I might not have paid enough attention and slipped. You know how rainy it is out there.”

“You’re lucky you landed on the roof and didn’t fall sixty meters into the water.”

“Yeah,” he grinned and you shook your head. He was always playing with fire. And he did it in his slightly unhinged but undeniably cool style. 

“You should take care of yourself a little bit better,” you patted his shoulder when you were ready with everything and he sent you a grateful smile. 

“Why would I when you’re always here to heal me?”

“I wish that was the case, but I won’t always be there. So just don’t suffer stupid injuries, alright?”

“I’ll try my best,” he winked at you and you knew your little speech had no effect on him and sighed. 

“I guess that’s a start.”

You spent the next hours helping out and stitched up a few shinies who got injured during simulations. 

“I knew I would find you here.”

“Tech!” you turned around and smiled at him. “Did you finish with your training?” 

“Crosshair and Wrecker stayed behind to practice some more. I thought that this was the perfect opportunity for me to show you around in the laboratory, if you’re interested.”

“I am, that sounds great,” you put the equipment you were cleaning down and stood up. “Let’s go.”

“So you said Crosshair is still practicing?” you asked him on your way to the lab. 

“Correct. He’s a perfectionist and always has to practice the most.”

“Well, it really works for him. I actually wanted to ask you something about him.”

“Yes?” Tech glanced at you . 

“Where do you think his jealousy originates from? I mean I think I know a little about it but I wanted to ask you about it as well. You’ve known him longer.”

“As far as I’m concerned, he has never shown this type of behavior before. It’s only when he’s around you,” Tech sent you a curious look. “But jealousy has a simple scientific explanation. It discouraged desertion by a mate, bolstering the family unit and enabling the survival of the young. At the same time, it has pushed us to abandon philanderers in favor of more stable and rewarding partnerships.”

“Maker Tech, that's pretty dry. I was thinking about something closer to Crosshair.”

“Oh. In that case,” he tilted his head to think for a few seconds. “I believe it’s because of his own insecurities and him thinking that if he let you get closer to another male you’d leave him for them.”

“Oh.”

“Was that sufficient?”

“It was a lot, Tech. And what could I do about it? I really want to be there for him.”

“I’d like to offer a solution for you but my knowledge in the matter isn’t extensive enough.”

You sighed. All you wanted was to understand Crosshair more to be able to support him better. Tech must have seen that you weren’t comforted yet and tried again. 

“What are you worrying about?” 

“Just that I’m not able to support him in a way he needs it.”

“That’s nonsense. He’s clearly happy.”

You felt a little relieved. “Thanks Tech, that means a lot.”

“You are welcome. But I don’t understand, can’t you see it on him?” 

“I can but sometimes I’m not sure I can trust my eyes. I'm afraid they would show what I want to see and not what’s actually there.”

He seemed to think this through. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s lucky to have you, you seem to pay special attention to his well-being.”

“Of course I do,” you said like it was obvious. “Sometimes that’s all I think about.”

“Well, it’s clearly working. He’s better than he’s ever been.”

You closed your eyes for a second. It felt so comforting to hear these words from someone else’s mouth, especially Tech because he and Crosshair had a special bond. 

“Thank you, Tech, this was really comforting.”

His face lit up after your praise and he unconsciously started walking faster from happiness, you had to jog to catch up with him. 

“And how are you feeling Tech?” 

He looked a little taken aback and slowed down to match your pace. “My work on the ship is endless, I still want to boost the engines and I have to reorganize the food cabinet after Wrecker made a mess a few days ago. Last night I read an interesting article about molecular underpinnings of a disease affecting corals.”

“Is marine life something you’re interested in?”

“Very much so,” he smiled a little. “I would love to explore it in different water planets.”

“Maybe we’ll get an underwater mission once.”

“Highly unlikely, I don’t see why they would send us. It’s not the area where our enhancements are the most useful.”

“I was just hoping for it, Tech.”

“Oh. In that case I also hope that it will happen.”

You smiled at him and he held the laboratory door open for you. He showed you around and talked about all the equipment you were interested in. You also spent some time working on one of your medicines you started earlier but couldn’t finish. Working with Tech was always easy for you because he was so clearly passionate about what he was doing that it kept you going endlessly. 

“Hungry?” came the question from behind you and you jumped and turned around immediately just to see Hunter standing in front of you with a smirk on his face. You put your hand on your racing heart and took a few deep breaths to calm down. 

“First of all, don’t do that,” you motioned at him, “but yeah, now that you ask I’m hungry.”

“Great, come on!” he smiled at you warmly and turned around. 

“Tech?” you looked at him but he shook his head. 

“I’ll stay, I want to finish this. But you should go.”

You nodded and walked toward the door to catch up with Hunter. 

“You two get on well since day one,” he noted when you arrived next to him. 

“He’s always been very kind to me,” you smiled remembering how in your first days you spent all your time next to Tech. “And he says very interesting stuff all the time, you should listen to him more.”

“Thank you for the suggestion,” he smirked and led you toward the cantina. 

“How was the training?”

“The usual,” he dodged the question easily and sat down next to you. “I also just wanted to check up on you,” he tilted his head and looked at you deeply. 

Your hand that was halfway to your mouth with a mouthful of the plain kaminoan food stopped and you looked back at him. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just that many things happened in a short amount of time and I wanted to make sure that you’re alright. And that Crosshair was treating you well when we’re not around. Not that I don’t trust him,” he added quickly, “but we know how he can get and I don’t want him to treat you like that.”

“Oh,” you smiled and put the bite in your mouth and swallowed it before answering. “That’s so considerate of my kind sergeant,” you teased him, making him smile but then you continued in a more serious voice. “No, I really meant that. Thank you. And I’m really good. You can’t even imagine how nice he is when you’re not around,” you lowered your voice and leaned closer to him as if you were going to share a secret. He tensed a little and paid attention to your every move. “Hunter, I think he is…,” you whispered, “a softie,” you finished and he laughed out so loud that many clones sitting at tables near you looked over to see what it was about. 

“That sounds pretty serious, are you sure you can handle that? Because I’m not afraid of moody or angry Crosshair but soft Crosshair scares me,” he grinned and you laughed with him. 

“I know right,” you couldn’t stop smiling. “It’s pretty serious, I don’t think there’s any coming back from this.”

“Wow,” Hunter calmed down and shook his head with the last hints of laughter still playing on his lips. “You know I really think that you were all he needed,” he looked up at you. “He’s different since you’re together. Before, he’s been often with us but stayed distant. Lately he just seems more alive. He’s just like who he was back when we were cadets.,” Hunter smiled at the memory. “You know before the war and missions. You really bring that out of him.”

“Hunter,” you smiled, really touched by his words. You quickly patted his hand that was resting on the table. “Thank you.”

He smiled back at you. “Anytime. Also if you have any sexual questions you can always come to me,” his smile turned into an evil smirk and you rolled your eyes. 

“Shut up and eat,” you told him with a full mouth. 

“You know I won the bet and can talk as much about it as I want?” he snickered but did as you said and scooped some food on his spoon and quickly swallowed it. 

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

“If I can, then I will,” he grinned and you shook your head with a tired smile on your face. 

“That does sound like a motto of the bad batch.”

“It really does,” he nodded with an eager face. “Let’s patent it so after the war we can use it for a small business,” he joked. 

“Do you think a lot about the end of the war?” you took a sip of your drink and watched a group of shinies walk away in front of you. Why did they have to wear their full armor inside when there were no battle simulations? It must not have been comfortable. Maybe it was to prepare them. 

“Yeah, sometimes,” Hunter answered. “I imagine us all staying together and maybe continuing working for the Republic, you know, because we want to, not because we’re their property. That would be nice.”

“That does sound good,” you smiled at him. “I hope it’s going to be here soon.”

“Let’s just win that war before, shall we?” he winked at you and you both stood up after finishing your food and walked out of the cantina after you packed up some food for Tech. 

While you were walking on the white corridors you ran into Wrecker who was coming from the training rooms, freshly showered and whistling to himself. He was hard to miss with his size and also the off tune whistling. 

“Hey guys,” his face lit up when he saw you.

“Hi Wreck,” you smiled back at him. “I’m taking this for Tech, wanna come?”

“Sure,” he agreed and you turned left where Hunter went right, he headed back to the barrack. 

“You don’t look tired,” you glanced at him and he laughed. 

“They don’t have enough weights to tire me out,” he flexed one of his massive arms. “You know these are pretty cool,” he lifted his fingers up and looked at his nails. 

“Hunter did a pretty nice job, I’ll tell him that after the war he can go work as a nail artist,” you added seriously and Wrecker snorted. 

“You know we could do more stuff like yesterday.”

“I think so too, Wreck. I missed these nights so much,” you smiled softly. 

“Well, I’m always here if you want to.”

“Thanks. Maybe we could also… No forget it, I’m sure it’s not your thing…,” changed your mind while talking. 

“What? You started saying it, now you know I won’t let you rest until you tell me,” he nudged you softly. 

“I was just thinking about how much I wanted to go shopping for clothes and stuff,” you confessed and waited for him to laugh at you but he didn’t.

“Then let’s go. Next time we can, we’ll go.”

“Really?” you face lit up. “You’d come with me?”

“Sure,” he grinned. “We can also get a couple beers and you can spill all the tea on Crosshair.”

You laughed. “Sounds like a pretty cool plan to me.”

“Can’t wait,” he added with a grin just when you’ve arrived back to the labs where you dropped off Tech his lunch and made him promise that he would eat it and not forget about it. 

“Forget about eating?” Wrecker shook his head. “I could never.”

“Yeah, same.” 

“Wanna get a snack?” he looked at you mischievously

“Here?” you raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“I know a way,” he sent you a crooked smile and showed you the way toward another building. He was leading you through dark and narrow corridors which not even the cameras kept an eye on until you arrived in front of a simple door which Wrecker quickly tampered with and opened so you could sneak in. 

The room you arrived in was full of neatly organized boxes and Wrecker immediately led you to one of them and opened it. You saw that it was full of different flavors of chocolate covered energy bars. He grabbed a handful of them and you did the same and he carefully closed the box back and you made your way out. 

“How did you know about that?” you laughed when you were back to the well-lit white corridors. 

“You think I wouldn’t find where they kept the snacks we occasionally got?” he grinned and shoved two into his mouth. “Hunter led me there, he could smell it but then after that it’s all my work.”

“And they never noticed?”

“The secret is to not do it often,” he passed on his knowledge. 

By the time you arrived back at their barrack Crosshair was already there, freshly showered and looking more handsome than ever with his new haircut. You smiled when you saw that he was back and ran to him. 

He quickly pulled you into a hug and placed a kiss on the top of your head. 

“How did the training go?” you asked, your voice muffled because you were still pressed against his chest. 

“Fine,” he answered and sat down on his bed and pulled you into his lap. You stared into his eyes and drank him in. 

Then you noticed something changed behind him on the wall and you looked over his shoulder to take a better look at it. The usual three target posters were still hanging on the wall but something changed. 

“Did you…?” you asked him and a smile spread across your face. Previously, the middle poster was shot carefully to make the letter C. Now it’s been changed to the letter your name started with. You couldn’t find the words and it was just so sweet of him. 

“Crosshair,” you pulled him closer and he hugged you back. “This is so sweet.”

“What happened?” Wrecker came over to take a look too and he smiled when he saw what Crosshair did. 

“Who would have thought that you were such a romantic, lil bro?”

“Don’t call me that,” Crosshair answered, pretending to be irritated but the smile playing on his lips gave him away. Wrecker quickly ruffled his hair then went back to his bed. 

Some time later Hunter arrived back with Tech by his side. His face was more serious than usual and you grew a little wary. 

“New mission?” Wrecker asked with a grin and sat up on his bed. 

“A bigger one,” Hunter nodded. “The jedi discovered a new separatist base but they had to fall back to help the battalions on Ryloth. Our mission is to find out all we can about this new base, what technology they use, why they moved there and any useful information before destroying it.”

“Nice, an explosion then,” Wrecker cheered but Hunter’s face remained serious. 

“What else is there?” Crosshair asked, he also saw that Hunter was yet to share everything with the group. Hunter came closer and looked into your eyes. 

“I’m afraid you can’t come with us this time. We have to drop you off at the Republic base on the planet, you were ordered to stay there because they are in dire need of medics. We lost a battle there a few hours earlier,” he sighed. “You can imagine the situation.”

You gave him a firm nod. You knew your duty. 

Crosshair’s face didn’t show much about his thoughts. 

“Cross?” you nudged him, wanting to hear what he was thinking about. 

“I don’t fucking like the way they just order you around,” he said sourly. 

“Technically they can,” Tech stepped in front of Hunter. “Officially she’s still listed as our medic, not a fifth member and medics can always be ordered around when a shortage appears somewhere. Also I have to add that it would be much safer for her to remain at a Republic base than to accompany us to this mission.”

You heard Wrecker chuckle and turned your head his way.

“I know that,” Crosshair answered Tech with a grimace, “that’s why I didn’t protest.”

“What’s up with you Wreck?” you asked him because he was still chuckling to himself. 

“Let me guess,” Crosshair raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth twitched despite his gloomy mood. “Tech said technically and you find that extremely amusing.” 

Wrecker burst out laughing again and just nodded. You shook your head with a smile on your face and turned back to Crosshair. The furrow between his brows was still there. 

“I’m gonna be fine,” you stroked his face. “I’m more worried about you guys.”

“Nah, don’t be,” Wrecker, who collected himself a little, sent you a grin. “We wouldn’t risk getting injured when the only one to stitch us up is Tech.”

“I did the work fairly efficiently!” he objected. 

“The emphasis is on fairly,” Hunter added with a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“It’s not my area of expertise,” he nodded reluctantly. 

“It’s okay Tech, it wasn’t so bad,” Wrecker tried comforting him, which he thanked with a half-smile. 

“You hear that guys? You’re not allowed to get injured because I’m not gonna be there,” you looked at all of them. “That’s an order.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Hunter jokingly saluted you. “But I thought it was usually Crosshair giving you the orders, right?” Hunter asked with a mischievous grin and you froze. 

Crosshair just rolled his eyes and ignored Hunter’s comment. 

“He just wishes to get promoted,” Wrecker patted Crosshair’s back not so lightly. “But we wouldn’t let ya go,” he also pushed him a bit and Crosshair shook his head with a faint smile on his lips. 

“So when do we leave?” you asked them. 

“Right after they finished preparing our ship,” Hunter answered and took a seat on his bed and put his legs up. 

“They are doing what?” Tech jerked his head up. “No one can touch my ship when I’m not there.”

“As I said, our ship,” Hunter repeated but Tech ignored him and was already on his feet and halfway out of the door. He was pretty sensitive when it came to the maintenance of the Havoc Marauder, he had already put so much work into the ship that it rightfully felt his a little more than anyone else’s. 

“If we have a little more time…,” Crosshair started and placed a soft kiss on your shoulder, making goosebumps appear on your whole body. His lips lingered on your skin just one second longer before he leaned closer to your ears. “I could show you the armory.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t actually mean the armory,” Hunter commented without even looking up from his datapad. 

“Do you always have to ruin the mood?” you looked at him and he shrugged with a crooked smile on his face. 

“I just wanted to make sure that you two are on the same page,” he added and you rolled your eyes. 

Wrecker raised his head when he heard the word armory. “It’s a pretty nice armory. I shed a few tears when I first saw it after they renovated it.”

“You cried?” you laughed. 

“Your man right there did too,” he grinned evilly and Crosshair sent him a death glare. 

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah you did, lil bro,” Wrecker continued grinning. “There was one teardrop running dramatically down your face when you saw the rifle collection. I saw it.”

Crosshair pursed his lips and you needed every ounce of self control you ever had in your life to not laugh in his face. 

“Medy’s is quite close to dying there,” Hunter noted and you closed your eyes and tried to concentrate on your breathing to control your uncontrollable urge to laugh. 

“I just need a minute,” you managed to say somehow. 

You couldn’t see but were sure that Crosshair and Wrecker were silently communicating while you were dying, as Hunter worded. 

“Alright, I’m sorry, I know the armory is our secret bonding place, I won’t share anything I learnt there again,” Wrecker apologized and Crosshair facepalmed. 

“Secret bonding place?” you asked, your curiosity overriding your urge to laugh in their faces. 

“It’s not a secret when you know about it,” Hunter said casually. 

“You knew?” Wrecker asked with his mouth hanging open. 

“How would I not have known, Wrecker?” Hunter looked up at him. “You thought that you could sneak past me without me waking up? Also, stealth was never your strongest quality. Crosshair though,” he tilted his face. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Wrecker asked him. 

“It seemed like a you two kinda thing,” Hunter shrugged. 

“That’s so sweet,” you smiled and felt discomfort radiating from Crosshair. “What, Cross? Is me learning that you have a special bond with one of your brothers uncomfortable for you?” 

“He’s just not used to showing emotions at all,” Hunter answered instead of him. 

“I want to leave,” Crosshair said and Hunter nodded. 

“You should before he tells her about your weird obsession with porgs.”

“Your what?!” you laughed. 

“They are so freaking cute!” Wrecker immediately protested. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know that your secret armory meetings were officially called porg fan club meetings,” Hunter mocked them. 

“So porgs?” you smiled at Crosshair who was not just radiating discomfort, he was burning with it. 

“I want to leave,” he repeated and picked you up and carried you to the door. 

“He says that they are neat,” Wrecker shouted after you and you sent him a grin. You were so grateful to have his brothers next to you because learning this kind of information would have been almost impossible from Crosshair himself. 

“Cross,” you cupped his flushed face and looked deeply into his eyes. “Don’t do this, you know I love learning everything about you. You shouldn’t feel bad about this, this is so normal,” you laughed. “Why do you have a guard up most of the time?” 

He shrugged and put you down on your feet when you were out of the room. He held your hand and started walking down the white corridor. 

“You shouldn’t, you know,” you continued, “you can always be yourself with me. I want that. I want everything about you.”

A small smirk appeared on his lips and he stopped to kiss you. He gently brushed his lips against yours to let you know he got what you were talking about. 

“Right now what I want is you,” he whispered against your lips and deepened the kiss. You opened your mouth to welcome him as he slid his tongue inside your mouth to explore it. 

His hands traveled down your waist and pulled you closer until you were pressed up against his hips. His fingers dug into your flesh and you already forgot what you were talking about. 

He didn’t even check the door you were standing in front of, just opened it and pushed you inside while kissing you. Only one of his hands left your body to lock the door. Then he lay you down on one of the bunk beds and deepened the kiss.

“You looked absolutely amazing when I left you in the morning,” he said in a raspy voice and pushed his hips against yours. You moaned when you felt his hardness. 

“I can never get enough of you,” he continued and lifted your shirt, placing a kiss on your stomach. “I could be with you all day and all night and it would never be enough,” he unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down. 

His words made your head spin but all that came out of you was a soft whimper. He laid you down on the bed, his head between your legs. He grinned at you, a full smile that you loved so much.

“And I have more plans for you for today,” he slightly bit his lower lip then buried his tongue inside you. You inhaled sharply and your fingers found their way into his silver hair. His pace fastened and soon all you could think about was how much you wanted him inside you.

“Crosshair,” you asked him and he looked up at you, licking his lips in a mischievous way. 

“Will you do me a favor and fuck me right now?” you lifted your hips with desire. 

“There’s something I want you to do for me before, sunshine,” he smirked at you and you lifted a brow.  

“Now that I’m not going to be here for a few days,” he started talking and you almost moaned at how sexy his voice sounded, “there’s something I want to ask you not to do,” he continued with a darkened look on his face. 

“What?” you asked and licked your suddenly dry lips. 

He answered with a knowing smirk. “But I want to watch now. I want to see what you’re not going to be allowed to do while I’m away.”

You drew in a sharp breath when you understood what he was talking about. Did he want to see you pleasure yourself? While he was standing next to you?

“Come on sunshine,” he told you, his voice the smoothest you’ve ever heard it and it made you want to do anything he told you. Without question. You would have followed his voice alone to hell and back. 

“Do you want me to talk you through it?” he continued and you closed your eyes and nodded. “I want to see how you come from your fingers, sunshine. I want to see how your body trembles under the pleasure you caused.”

“Why am I not allowed to do it while you’re gone?” you asked in a weak voice, already turned on just by listening to his words. 

“Because I’m a selfish bastard who wants all of your orgasms to himself,” he answered and you couldn’t suppress a moan hearing that. “Don’t get shy now, sunshine. Do you remember how dirty your mouth gets when you’re begging me to fuck you? This isn’t different. But this time you’re the one doing it to yourself.”

You were already burning with desire and you wanted to please him too so you shyly lifted your fingers and placed them on just the right spot. 

You could hear him drawing in a sharp breath when you started circling your clit and rubbing the wetness all over yourself. 

“You’re so turned on,” he said, his voice airy and eyes wide. 

“It’s only for you,” you answered and threw your head back as you applied pressure on your clit while circling around it. 

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he breathed as you winced from pleasure hearing his praise. “Always coming around my cock when I fuck you. Always saying the perfect words to make me lose my mind. You do that to me, you make me lose my fucking mind,” he kept talking and you closed your eyes and focused on the pleasure your fingers on your clit were causing you while listening to his smooth voice. 

“Look at me,” he ordered and you reluctantly opened your eyes and glanced at him. All air left your lungs when you saw his expression, it was wild with lust and passion as he was looking down at you, a few drops of sweat balancing on his body as he was trying to fight the urge to fuck you right there and then and just enjoy the sight of you pleasuring yourself just a little longer. Just until you came. 

“What you said earlier,” he kept talking, “I know I can be myself with you. I don’t always show it but I know it. And I will. With time, I will show you all, sunshine. But we have time. We have all the fucking time in the galaxy.”

Your mouth fell open as you were listening to his words and you couldn't stop staring at his face while he was talking, he was so genuine. And he said all the time in the galaxy. Fuck, that sent a shiver down your body and you trembled as you felt the first signs of your orgasms building in your body. 

“You should see how beautiful you look right now, lost in my words and pleasure. You’re absolutely out of this world.”

The orgasm that was building in your body exploded and ripped through your body and your whole body trembled. He was there behind you immediately, sliding next to you and kissing your forehead. 

“Such a good girl,” he whispered and lifted the hand you were pleasuring yourself with and licked your fingers off. You groaned at the sensation and pressed your body harder against his. 

He rolled you over to your side and slid behind you. He gently sank his teeth in the sensitive skin on your neck and his hand traveled to your hips and pulled you closer, until his cock was touching your entrance and you winced in pleasure, still high from your orgasm. 

He pushed his hips forward and buried his cock inside you while his lips never left your neck and you whimpered, feeling overstimulated but drunk on pleasure. 

“Such a good girl,” his lips were moving against your skin as he was whispering. He started moving, every thrust audible because you were so wet for him. “So perfect for me,” he sighed and dug his fingers deeper into your hips as he started fucking you faster. “Talk to me.”

“I can’t,” you managed to say between two intense thrusts. “You make me lose my mind too, Crosshair.”

He exhaled deeply and shoved himself deeper than before inside you. He ran his delicate fingers down your body until they grabbed your butt and squeezed it, making you moan. He turned you around, standing on all fours and entered you. Both of you were completely lost in each other when you heard someone standing in front of the door, trying to enter. Thank the Maker Crosshair had enough in him to close the door earlier, otherwise you would have found yourself in a rather mortifying situation. Not that this was not making you flush with embarrassment.

‘I think,” you started saying but Crosshair didn’t seem to startle as much.

“We’re busy,” he called out and focused his attention back to you. “So where were we?,” he asked in a husky voice and rubbed his short stubble to your neck.  You shivered at the sensation and were reminded again what you two were in the middle of before being interrupted. 

He started moving again, slowly, making you moan out of pleasure. You tried muffling the sound with your hands but he stopped you. 

“I want to hear you,” he said in a raspy voice and picked up his pace. “I’d want everyone to hear you and know that you are mine,” he emphasized every word with thrust. You completely forgot about the interruption, all you could sense was him everywhere around you. 

 “I am yours, Crosshair,” you confessed between two moans and he inhaled sharply.

“What a good girl,” he softly stroked your hair before grabbing your butt and dictating an even faster rhythm. 

You moaned his name as he came inside you and filled you up with his thick, warm cum. He held you in place while he came, drunk on the voices you were making. 

After a minute of both of you just breathing hard, you turned around to face him and rested your forehead against his. “You’re mine too, Cross,” you whispered and kissed him. He kissed you back fondly, eagerly and embraced you. You stayed like that until both of your breathing calmed down. 

“You mesmerize me,” he whispered into your ears in a voice so low you could barely hear. 

“Crosshair,” you murmured his name. 

“I loved watching you,” he continued, stroking your naked body with his smooth, long fingers. You smiled sheepishly. “You are so beautiful,” he kissed your temple and you melted into his arms. 

“I can’t wait for you to come back from the mission,” you were reminded of the fact that he was going to leave you soon. He tensed a bit next to you. 

“I will come back. I will always come back to you, sunshine.” 

You took a breath to say something more when an abrupt knocking startled you. 

“Oh, fu-,” you started saying and abruptly sat up and started looking for your clothes. “Shit, I forgot about him,” you were so mad at yourself and flushed with embarrassment again. 

Crosshair stayed laying down on the bed with an evil grin playing on his lips. watching you hurry and get ready again. He reached for a toothpick and placed it between his lips.

“Crosshair!” you warned him. 

“What?” he stretched without any signs that he wanted to leave. 

“I think we should go right now and let poor shiny get his room back,” you said.

“Let him wait,” Crosshair answered smugly. “This might be the first and last action he could have heard.”

“You’re such a jerk,” you suppressed a smile and rolled your eyes. “Let’s just go!” you offered your hand to him which he couldn’t reject and got up. “Now, dress yourself,” you jerked your hand away and pointed at his clothes. He stared at you, naked and an amused look on his face. Well, he wasn’t completely naked, his toothpick was between his lips. It was a sight you wanted to see for the rest of your life. You couldn’t hide your smile. 

“Come on,” you managed to tear your eyes away from his body and nudged him to put his clothes on. He scowled and reluctantly started putting his clothes back on.

Then he held your hand and you walked out of the room to find a trooper awkwardly standing in front of the door. You felt a flush of embarrassment run through your body but Crosshair must not have felt anything remotely close to that because he just flicked his toothpick on the floor and casually told the trooper that the room is all his again. You mumbled an apology while Crosshair reached for another toothpick but luckily the clone seemed to be just as eager to get out of the situation as you so he just made an awkward face and disappeared in his barrack. 

“Well that was awkward,” you noted when you were walking on the corridors, in a safe distance from the room. 

“Only if you think it was,” Crosshair sent you an amused look and you thought about it. 

“I guess you’re right. I still think it was.”

He chuckled lightly and before he could have opened the door for you, it opened and Hunter walked out with Wrecker following him. 

“Why is there always someone in front of the doors today?” you wondered out loudly and received a confused look from your sergeant. 

“We are leaving, Tech signaled that his, I mean our ship is ready,” he decided to ignore your comment and just started walking toward the exit. 

“How was the armory?” Wrecker asked you genuinely and you suppressed a smile. 

"I was pleasantly surprised,” you sent a smirk to Crosshair. “It was even more than what I was expecting,”  you continued and looked back at him again. He had a triumphant and smug expression on his face. 

“I know right?” Wrecker continued. “It’s so fucking cool, next time I’m gonna show you the explosives and maybe give you a little representation,” he got all excited and you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you didn’t actually visit the armory. Hunter smirked knowingly but for once didn’t say anything. He exchanged a look with Crosshair that only the two of them could understand and sent him a crooked smile accompanied with a wink, making Crosshair roll his eyes with a smirk tugging at his lips. 

“That would be so nice of you Wrecker! But maybe let’s not blow the place up where you grew up, alright?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t blow it up, he knows what he’s doing,” Crosshair told you and Wrecker pushed out his chest at the compliment, “but I would be wary, he can talk endlessly about explosives that are basically the same,” he added with a smirk and Wrecker protested loudly. 

“Hey, you know they ARE all different! And it’s not like you don’t gush over your precious rifles every opportunity you can.”

“They really are all unique with their own enhancements,” Crosshair argued. 

“So are explosives!”

“He’s just playing with you, Wrecker,” Hunter weighed in. “He’s always doing this just to annoy you. Or us,” he made a face. 

“Oh,” Wrecker reacted and Crosshair sent him a playful smirk. “You’re a jerk.”

“Funny thing, I just told him this not long ago!” you said with a smile playing on your lips. 

“Really? He got it two times a day?” Hunter continued. “You aren’t yourself, Cross, it is usually way above ten by this time of the day,” he glanced at the time and shook his head, pretending to be disappointed. 

“I'll do better tomorrow," he answered with an amused face and you couldn't stop yourself from rolling your eyes. 

"That's the Cross we know," Hunter patted his back. 

You arrived back to Tech muttering to himself about how no one else can touch his ship. 

"Did they screw anything up Tech?" you asked him as you were all getting on the ship. 

"No, but you know the odds of that happening?" he asked vehemently. "I should always be notified when repairs are being done to the ship." 

"Don't worry, your baby's okay," Wrecker gently shoved him. 

"How long is this mission gonna be?" you asked, not wanting to let Crosshair go for even a day. Or just spend days without all of them, you got so used to them always being around that you felt some unease creep up on your spine when you thought about being apart while they were risking their lives. 

"Probably a few days," Hunter answered. "But if he will be this motivated to get back it might take less," he smirked at Crosshair who kept you close to his side. 

"All I know is that we are going to blow something up and that's enough for me," Wrecker grinned. 

"You deserve it, Wreck," you grinned back, knowing that it was already too long since he could blow something up. You thought about your meeting with Hardcase in the medical area and couldn't help but notice how well the two troopers would get on. "You know I treated a clone on Kamino, long story short he caused an explosion and fell down from the roof, I will have to bring the two of you together someday." 

"I wish I could have seen it," Wrecker laughed. "Who's the guy?" 

"It's Hardcase from the 501st," you answered. "He said that his growth chamber leaked and it made him hyperactive."

"That sounds like fun," Wrecker looked around the ship, probably for something to blow up. 

"Don't even think about it," Tech looked up from piloting and sent Wrecker a harsh look. "I have just got the ship back to its original state" 

"Man," Wrecker shook his head in disappointment. "I have to blow something up right now!" he was radiating energy and you thought how much he meant what he said. 

"You might need a cause for that, Wreck." 

"I have a cause, it's because I want to do it," he argued and you burst out laughing. Hard to argue with that. 

"Technically…," Tech started talking but Wrecker cut him off. 

"I don't wanna hear that, nothing good ever comes after that word. It do be funny when you say it though ." 

"Yeah, it was like the first word he ever said," Hunter said. "99 told us everything." 

"Actually it was a full sentence, don't undermine my so early developed skills." 

"Yeah Tech, we all know that you are a smart-ass." 

"I would once again ask you to refrain yourself from using that word to describe me." 

"Alright, then nerd." 

"Is that better?" Tech quickly glanced at you. "I'm unfamiliar with the latest changes in so-called slangs." 

"It's fine Tech," you restrained a smile. 

"Alright then."

"So Wreck, I see you're in dire need to do something, tell me a little about those explosives, what will you use at the end of the preferably short mission?" you asked Wrecker. Crosshair pulled you closer and interlaced his fingers around your waist. You needed a lot of self control not to lose your mind but Wrecker's happy face was worth paying attention to. 

"Sure thing, but first how much do you know about explosives?" 

"Not exactly much," you managed to answer but Crosshair's hands were very distracting. 

"Then I'll start from the beginning," Wrecker dived into the topic and showed that his knowledge was way more extensive than you would have ever imagined. You thought that he just blew stuff up for the sake of it but it turned out that he knew his way about them better than anyone. 

He told you everything about the difference in sizes and ingredients. 

"He actually came up with the idea of one of my custom bullets," Crosshair told you. Your conversation with Wrecker caught his attention too and he was listening to it carefully.

"It's a completely new approach and works very well," Tech added and you smiled proudly at Wrecker. 

"Maybe I shouldn't have, if I didn't give you those bullets I would have won a few more of our competition," Wrecker made a face and Crosshair sent him a smirk. 

"And I will continue using them against you," he said with a smug face. 

"You wish, this mission I will crush you," Wrecker answered with playful determination. 

"I don't think so," Crosshair raised an eyebrow. 

"I hope the both of you know that the beginning of our mission will consist of less shooting and more sneaking around for information, correct?" Tech asked and they both looked at him with a slightly disappointed face. 

"You'll get your chance to destroy clankers after we're done with the boring part," Hunter quickly calmed them. 

"Exiting hyperspace in ten seconds…," Tech warned you before you flew out of hyperspace and you saw the planet you were going to land on to drop you off. 

Crosshair held you a little tighter now that the time to say goodbye came closer. 

"If you don't all come back in the same condition, I will kill you," you said only half joking. 

"I'll take care of them," Hunter smiled at you reassuringly. "Just as I always do." 

Wrecker snorted loudly. "And what about the time you were hanging from that really tall tree and couldn't do anything because you dropped your knife? Who came to take care of you?" 

"You did," Hunter answered unwillingly. 

"And what was Tech doing while that?" 

"Being surrounded by clankers while trying to get the door open," Hunter continued in the same voice. "But they had it under control with Crosshair."

"Well…," Tech started to say but was cut off by Hunter. 

"Did you make it out alive or did you not?" 

"Barely."

"See," Hunter pointed at you. "Told you I always take good care of them."

"I mean if staying alive is considered that then you're doing just great," you gave him a thumbs up. 

"I know right," he grinned at you and you shook your head with a smile on your face. 

"I took care of that situation," Crosshair whispered into your ears and you believed him. 

"With me," Wrecker protested. 

"You might have helped."

"It was teamwork, right lil bro?" Wrecker patted Crosshair's back, making him roll his eyes but not saying a word against it. 

"As always," Wrecker finished and you sent him a smile. You were less stressed about the mission now and knew that they would take care of each other no matter what. 

“You better send me messages whenever you can,” you looked at each of them sternly. “Especially you,” you tightened your grip around Crosshair’s arms. 

“I will call you any chance I get,” he whispered into your eyes in a low and husky voice that weakened your knees, “I already miss your voice moaning my name,” he added in an ever quieter tone.

You gulped and he chuckled softly in your ear. The others turned back to each other and started discussing the mission. 

Crosshair’s hand wandered around your body and squeezed your waist, making all air escape from your lungs. Would you ever get enough of this man? You knew the answer was no.

“Why are you torturing me?” you asked and leaned a little closer to him. He put his large hand over your stomach and pulled your hips closer to his. Your breathing accelerated so noticeably that it made him smile against your shoulders, where he buried his face. 

“If this is how you react to torture, I’m unsure of your abilities,” he teased you lightly. 

“Why, you’d be able to hold up better?” you asked, your mind foggy with him being all around you and his smell surrounding you. Everything felt stronger now that you knew you would have to be apart for a few days. 

“I did,” he kept his tone light but the seriousness of the answer surprised you and you opened your eyes abruptly. 

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it, sunshine,” he buried his face back to your shoulder and you let his silver locks against your cheeks divert your attention. 

“You better come back to me,” you whispered, suddenly afraid of their upcoming mission again. 

“Haven’t I told you before? I always come back,” he answered and kissed your skin softly. Then again and again, leaving a trail of tender kisses across your neck and shoulder, making you melt into his arms. 

“Someone’s awfully clingy today,” Hunter turned away from the discussion he was having with Tech and Wrecker and looked at the two of you. He was wearing one of his crooked smiles but it was tinted with a hint of mockery. 

“Just making sure she doesn’t even think about anyone else why I’m away,” Crosshair answered and you frowned. 

“Like there is any doubt.”

“As I said I’m just playing safe,” he turned his attention back to you and kissed your neck again. You tried to keep your expression together now that Hunter was looking at you and you knew you didn’t succeed when his grin grew even bigger. 

“You won’t have to worry about anything like that,” Hunter reassured Crosshair with a wink. 

“If any of the regs give you a hard time…,” he started saying but you cut him off. 

“They won’t!”

“If they give you a hard time,” he continued like you hadn’t spoken, “call me and I’ll be back. Fuck the mission and anything else.”

“That won’t be necessary. If anything, they’ll give me a hard time with being too amusing and not letting me rest,” you brushed it off but realized what you said might not have been the best thing to say to him. 

“I changed my mind, you are coming with us,” he said with a dark expression and you shook your head. 

“Crosshair!” you warned him. “Stop this. I will be fine.”

“With regs surrounding you everywhere. And I won’t be there,” he was starting to get a little too worked up.

“Crosshair!” you warned him again and turned over to cup his face and stop him. “Stop!” you looked deeply in his eyes. “Stop it, you are being unreasonable.”

He scowled but didn’t look away from your eyes. 

“They are my friends. You are my man. And this is going to stay like this. Always.”

He seemed to think this through. “I still don’t like it,” he said eventually but with way less vehemence. 

“You don’t have to. Just accept it. Try it. For me?” you smiled sweetly and looked up at him from under your lashes. He lightly shook his head and raised his hand to hold your chin and lift your head to kiss you. 

At first he was gentle, his soft lips brushing against yours but then he deepened the kiss and got lost in you. His hands traveled down your back and one of them rested on your waist while the other stayed on your back to pull you even closer. You were still cupping his face and stroking his stubble as he kissed you desperately. 

You forgot about everything and everyone else, it was just Crosshair and you and you never wanted it to end. 

But then Tech cleared his throat to let you know that you landed and you broke away from each other, Crosshair a little too unwillingly. You didn’t even notice when you landed. 

“I’m afraid this is goodbye for now,” Tech said and glanced at you. You somehow managed to get out of Crosshair’s hands and walked over to Tech to pat his shoulder. 

“Take care Tech,” you smiled at him and he sent you a half-smile. 

“You too Medy,” he said and pulled a small but elegant silver blaster out from one of his packets and handed it to you without saying a word.. You reached for it, speechless. It fit perfectly into your hands and you knew it wasn't on purpose but you couldn’t not notice how its color was unmistakably close to Crosshair’s hair color. 

“I know you have a blaster but this one fits you better, it’s personalized for your hands,” Tech started talking. “It has yellow blaster bolts, which is the color mandalorians mostly use. It’s more powerful than both red or blue blasts,” he kept going on about it and you lifted the blaster to inspect it from closer, still stunned by its beauty and Tech’s gesture. It was a beautiful piece of weaponry, elegant but deadly. Exactly what you thrived to be. 

“Last time we were apart you got injured and we came back to find you severely exhausted,” Tech said. “I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Tech,” you placed the blaster down carefully and gave him a quick hug which surprised him and he didn’t know what to do. “Thank you so much,” you let the astonished trooper go. “It’s beautiful. I don’t know how to thank you for it.”

“You could start with not getting shot again,” he answered and you laughed 

“I’ll do just that.”

He nodded and glanced at Crosshair who came closer to inspect the blaster. He took it in his hands and looked at it carefully. He balanced it on one hand to check its weight and then handed it back to you without a word. 

He and Tech shared a look and Crosshair sent him a nod and a soft smile. Tech tilted his head and nodded back. Crosshair reached forward to pat his shoulder before taking a step back and looking at you again. 

“That’s a pretty blaster for the pretty lady,” Wrecker joked when he took a look at your new blaster too. “And Tech’s right, we better not find you as tired and done than the last time!” he grabbed your shoulders and shook you a little just to make sure his words got to you. 

“You are the ones going on the serious mission, why are you worried about me, who’s staying at the base?”

“‘Cause last time you managed to get into trouble,” Hunter told you with one brow raised. 

“Yeah, we handled that just well.”

“You got shot,” Crosshair said with a sour face. 

“Barely,” you waved and pointed at him. “You were the one who got seriously injured not long ago so you don’t really have a say in this.”

“That has nothing to do with this,” he stepped closer. “I’m used to getting injured but you are used to healing them.

“Well, I don’t seem to get used to healing your injuries  so you if you just stopped receiving them,” you glared back at him. 

“Alrighty,” Hunter decided to step between the two of you. “Let’s just not get carried away. We are dropping Medy off, she’ll be safe there. And if not, then she’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself. And we’ll be fine too,” he looked at you reassuringly. “We took care of each other even before you so don’t worry, it’s barely more than a standard mission for us. Piece of cake,” he said and you saw Tech wanting to say something and open his mouth but he seemed to think it through so he remained silent instead. 

“I’d want that piece of cake,” Wrecker wondered and you couldn’t help but smile at that. 

“We’ll get you one after the mission,” you told him and he nodded excitedly. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Tech stood up from his seat, “but I believe it’s time for us to leave if we want to arrive at a time when security is lower around the base.”

It was time to say your goodbyes. They all accompanied you while you got off the ship. 

Hunter nodded at you encouragingly and patted your shoulder before getting on the ship again. Tech sent you a smile and then followed Hunter. Wrecker picked you up and gave you a bear-hug, making you laugh. He ruffled your hair after putting you down and then went after his brothers. It was just Crosshair left. 

He looked at you for several seconds without saying anything and then pulled you into his arms and kissed you again. His kiss was passionate and rough and he held you almost painfully tight but it was all you needed. After the kiss he rested his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll be back soon.”

“You better,” you smiled at him. “But until then…,” you smiled at him mischievously and gave him something that you had hidden in your pocket earlier.

His eyes widened and a mischievous smile appeared on his lips. Then he lifted his hand to his face and inhaled the smell of the little fabric that you gave him. Then he put your panties in one of his pockets and smiled back at you playfully then his expression darkened and he bit his lower lips.

“I will have fun with this while I’m away.”

Now your eyes widened. “On the mission? You wouldn’t dare,” you waved. 

“Yeah?” He smiled cockily. “Watch me,” he stole another quick kiss and started walking toward the ship. You stood there, frozen and just stared after your beautiful man. 

He glanced back at you over his shoulder. “Oh, you’ll be able to watch. I’ll call you,” he smirked and got on the ship, leaving you there, astonished and aching for him.

[miamochi-writes]

Hi I hope you're doing well! I love your writings! Also would you ever write a part 2 for "The Only Time I Feel Safe?" That ending you left us with had my screaming, crying, and gushing over it. Please tell me it gets better!

Thank you! I'm trying to balance out work stuff and finding time to rest. And I've gotten so many requests to make a part 2! So here it is! Also tagging @usuallynana since they also asked for this. I hope this isn't too cheesy at the end! I hope you enjoy it! :)

The Only Time I Feel Safe Part 2

After the bandit incident, you've been more careful during your travels with the group. Just like Vash, you had to keep a low profile wherever you went. Thankfully, learning to be a spy all your life had its perks. You were able to snag some clothes and items to obscure yourself in public. Hell, you even adjusted your voice to different pitches thanks to your training. On your visit to the next city, you insisted to the group that you would make it up to them by getting a hotel for them to stay the night.

"Listen Y/n, you don't have to," Meryl looked at you at through her rear view mirror.

"I know, but I want to. Just give me until sunrise to get you money for a hotel," you pleaded.

"Look, newbie just let 'em. I doubt you can change their mind," Roberto butted in.

Meryl sighed as she looked at the endless sand again.

"Fine, but just be careful. At least have Vash or Wolfwood accompany you," she gave in. You looked at Wolfwood who raised his eyebrow at you. Then you looked at Vash who gave you small smile.

"I can keep a look out for you, while keeping some distance," Vash offered as you felt relieved that he was willing to join you.

"Then it's settled. We'll split up again. Roberto and I will be at a local diner waiting for you. But you need to be back before sunrise," Meryl reminded you as you agreed to her terms.

Once you arrived at the next town, you handed Vash a cloak to keep himself hidden. He was already too well known with the wanted posters you kept seeing in every town. Plus his face and red jacket were a dead giveaway to anyone. Once he got changed, you told him your plan of going around the city for awhile to see if you can find some good info. Before you could walk, you felt nervous looking at the crowd. Your mind kept drifting back to what happened before. Your heart was starting to quicken as you thought about those people who were after your bounty. You couldn't afford to mess up now.

"Hey, everything okay?"

You looked at Vash as he snapped you out of your thoughts. He was looking at you with those blue worried eyes of his.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" you tried to convince him.

"Then why are you so tense?" he pointed to your hands. You didn't realize they were turning white from balling them up into fists. This was one of your bad habits you developed. You unclenched your hands and took a deep breathe.

"Okay, I'm a little nervous," you admitted.

"Hey, don't forget that I'm going to be right with you. I'll protect you no matter what. That's a promise," he reassured you.

"You're right, how could I forget?" you said showing him a small smile. He then offered his hand to you. You looked at him wondering what he was doing.

"I can lead the way, if you want. Just in case we need to avoid certain people or areas," he explained. You looked at his hand and figured he had a point. You hesitantly reached your hand to his. Once your finger tips made contact with his, you gently grabbed his hand. You felt your nerves wash away from the warmth of his hand. Despite the traumatic experiences you had with physical contact before, you felt surprised with how comfortable you were with him being this close.

"Lead the way," you told him.

~*~

Once you started walking, you kept your ears peeled within a crowd of people or by any buildings you passed. For the most part, you would hear local baseless gossip or mindless small talk. At some point, Vash noticed some of the military police up ahead and would either lead you another way or hide in a corner until they left. But after a good hour, you finally heard what you were looking for. Some people finally brought up topics about the Windmill Village, Jeneora, or some areas that you recently encountered. You pulled Vash back from walking as he turned around to look at you.

"I found what I'm looking for. I'll be around the corner. I'll whistle for you if I need anything," you told him.

"Okay, I'll hang around here waiting for you. Be careful," he replied as he put his hand on your shoulder. You nodded before walking back to where you came from. You approached the people you heard earlier and talked in a lower pitch.

"I have answers to those questions. Meet me at the corner," you whispered to these people as you passed them by.

~*~

The sun was about to set and Meryl was getting impatient. Roberto was having another drink while Wolfwood was smoking his next cigarette. Before Meryl could get up from her seat, the doors of the diner opened. She turned around to see you and Vash. You walked to her table and put down a good amount of double dollars in front of her.

"This should be enough to cover our stay right?" you asked with a small smirk. Meryl looked at you in shock as she went to go book the hotel rooms. You sat down at one of the tables while Vash joined you.

"I can't believe you were able to make that much money off of sharing information," Vash pointed out as you sighed from how tired you were walking in your disguise.

"I know it's not the best way to make a living, but sometimes information is vital. People will pay for valuable information. I know I would," you commented.

"It's true, people will pay what they can to find the whereabouts of people or events. Take the wanted posters for example," Roberto pointed out.

Meryl then came back with the hotel keys in her hands.

"Good news, I got us rooms. Two rooms with double beds and one single room," she explained.

"Finally, I can take off this disguise," you commented.

"I'm staying with Roberto, no buts," Wolfwood said as he didn't look at Vash. Roberto sighed as he followed behind him.

"Guess it's you and me Y/n. Vash, here's your key. Our rooms are pretty close together and on the same floor in case we need anything. The guys are right across from us," Meryl said as she led you to your rooms.

~*~

After removing your disguise and taking a nice shower, you felt much better to be in your normal attire. You got comfortable on your bed as Meryl was giddy with joy knowing that she wasn't going to sleep in a dune for once.

"Finally we don't have to sleep in the cold!" she cheered.

"I told you I'd make up for it," you laughed at her.

"You know, you've changed a bit," Meryl pointed out.

"In what way?" you asked while turning to her.

"Well you were very reserved, especially with the no touch rule. But after traveling some time, you've been more open. Especially with you know who," she explained as your eyes widened.

"Come on Y/n, I'm a reporter. You think I don't know who you're more comfortable with?" she added while raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Also I'm comfortable with you," you argued.

"Yeah but you never gave me a hug," she reasoned as you felt your face turning red.

"You saw me hug Vash?!" you asked.

"I never said who," she smirked as you buried your face on the pillow. Before you could say anything else, your stomach growled. You didn't realize you haven't eaten since you arrived in town.

"I'm going to eat dinner down at the lobby. Do you want anything?" you asked as you started putting on part of your disguise.

"Nah, I already ate earlier. I'm going to sleep after driving for so long," she replied as she turned around.

Once you reached the lobby you grabbed a plate of food and enjoyed some peace and quiet. You thought about what Meryl said earlier on how you treated Vash over the past. After taking your last bite, you headed back to your room. You were about to enter your room until you realized something. You then walked over to the room across and knocked. Vash opened the door and was surprised to see you.

"Hey Y/n, what's wrong?" he asked

"Hey Vash...can I spend the night with you? I forgot my room key and Meryl is already asleep. And I feel bad for waking her up after she drove us for so long," you asked feeling embarrassed on forgetting a crucial item.

"Oh sure come on in," he replied opening the door for you. You walked in and changed out of your disguise in the bathroom. Thankfully the bed was big enough to fit two of you or else you would have been arguing who gets the bed and who sleeps on the chair.

"Hey, thanks for letting me stay here," you told him as you sat on your side of the bed.

"No problem, thanks for getting us a place to stay in the hotel rooms," he thanked.

"It's the least I can do. But I should be thanking you, my nerves would have gotten the best of me if you weren't there," you admitted shyly.

"I'm always happy to help if you need it," he smiled at you. His smile was so contagious that you couldn't help but smile back at him.

"You know, it's funny how when we first met, you were very closed off. Now here you are being this close without sending me death glares. What changed?" Vash asked.

"Well, to be honest...when I first met you I treated you like how I treated everyone. Growing up, I've been hurt many times physically by my mentor and other people. I kinda saw everyone as a threat, but after seeing how much you did for the people at Jeneora that changed. I've never met someone who is always willing to help others no matter the circumstances. Even when they were hunting you down, you still helped. I think that's when I started slowly trusting you," you started. You noticed Vash was staring at you and felt that you might as well tell him everything. You took a deep breathe before continuing.

"But I think I started getting comfortable with the sand worm incident. That's what separates you from the people who've constantly hurt me. You cared so much that you come back for us. You constantly put your life on the line for us when you could have just ran off any time. Plus, you were always kind towards me. You always asked for permission before making contact with me. Whenever we touch, it always felt nice. You never once hurt me. You’ve kept me protected even when I was aloof towards you, especially with those bandits. What I'm trying to say is, I like being with you. The only time I feel safe is when I'm with you," you admitted as you looked at him. You could feel yourself blushing from what you just told him.

"You feel that way about me?" he asked as you nodded.

"Even though I'm one of the most wanted outlaw in Noman's Land? You've heard what people call me. 'The Humanoid Typhoon,' No matter where I go, danger follows. You can never have a peaceful life," he continued.

"I know what they say, and I still feel safer with you than other people. Also have you forgotten what I grew up with? Your lifestyle is nothing compared to the amount of torture and danger I used to face every day with my mentor," you pointed out. You then grabbed both of his hands and gave them a small squeeze before looking him in the eyes.

"I would gladly travel with you, get cops off your back, and live this lifestyle if it means being by your side. I'm with you until the end Vash," you pointed out and didn’t break eye contact. He needed to know even if it put you in a vulnerable spot. Vash’s lip started quivering as he looked at you fondly with his beautiful eyes.

“Y/n, can I hold you for a bit?” He asked. You smiled and nodded as you felt his prosthetic hand rest on the small of your back, while his human arm held your head. He brought you close to him as your chin landed on his shoulder. That’s when you felt him tightly embrace you. He was so warm that you didn’t want to let go. You hugged him back as he began to talk.

“Thank you Y/n, that’s the sweetest thing someone’s ever told me. Thank you for always being there for me. I promise to keep you safe no matter where we go. I want to be there for you the same way you've been there for me after the Jeneora incident," he told you.

"Of course, I'll always be there for you if you let me. I'm glad we met," you told him as you felt him nuzzle your neck.

"Hey Y/n? Can I do something else with you?" he asked.

"You don't have to ask for permission anymore to touch me Vash. You're the only exception," you reassured. You knew he wouldn't hurt you and you felt more than comfortable with him at this point. You then felt him look at your face as he smiled at you. He then leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You immediately turned red as that caught you off guard.

"You kissed me?" you asked.

"Sorry was that too much?" he asked looking concerned. You then grabbed his face gently and placed a small kiss on his lips. You heard a sharp inhale, but soon he relaxed as you smiled into it.

"No, that just means I can kiss you as much as I want now," you smiled more as your cheeks were pink. Vash's eyes widened as he pulled you to his side of the bed for another hug as he started giving you butterfly kisses all over your face.

"I'm happy you forgot your room key so we could spend the night together," he told you as you laughed.

"Yeah, next time we stay at a hotel I'll gladly room with you over Meryl," you replied as you gave him another peck on the lips as he nuzzled your neck.

[aspd-culture]

I apologize, i know this is a “culture is” blog but i was wondering if you had any tips on unmasking? Its a huge struggle for me and its effecting my treatment and mental health severely.

This culture is blog definitely is in massive part a place to ask and answer questions too, no worries at all!/gen

The biggest thing for me that helped was first working on the masked piece that told me I was supposed to give a fuck about what people thought of me. I learned that manually over a long period of time, having next to no sense of embarrassment as a child and early teen. I found that once I got back to "I really don't give a fuck if you like me or think I'm a shit person or what, and if you think I should be constantly putting on some act for you, then you're an exhausting person and I'm glad to see you leave my life so bye", the rest of unmasking has come easier.

The second biggest thing builds on this; making sure you're not filling your life, especially your personal relationships which are supposed to be caring, supportive, and filling your battery vs draining it, with people you can't unmask around. Massive red flag if they can't get past the easy symptoms like flat affect and need for emotions being clearly communicated after a conversation or two and maybe some reassurance if they are more sensitive or have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. If the people you value push you to hide your disorder, you will no matter how hard you try not to. ASPD makes us cling tighter to bad people sometimes, because we know that we hate the social dance of trying to find someone else even remotely trustworthy, let alone that we can tolerate spending time around. This goes 10x for any Exceptions.

The third is letting yourself get a little angry. You shouldn't be spending your energy trying to hide symptoms you never asked for and that hurt you more than anyone else. This disorder doesn't show up without the failure of *at minimum* a few adults in your life for many years without resolving it. If they don't like you being like this, then maybe they should have done their job. It isn't your job to hide their mistakes. It isn't your job to hide their *failure* to do a simple job of keeping a kid safe and secure. If you look up the percentage of needs being met that leads to a secure attachment style (which ASPD is not compatible with), you probably will find the getting mad portion of unmasking pretty easy. The bar was in hell and the majority of the adults supposed to take care of you in your childhood played limbo. That's worth being upset about.

To be clear, this isn't the go ahead or encouragement to get violent, abusive, or destructive, but if your symptoms are inconveniencing someone vs hurting them, then fuck it. You deserve to breathe and just *be* sometimes instead of starring in Normal Person, Director's Cut all day every day.

Once I got those things under my belt, most of the rest of unmasking for me has just been reminding myself that I will burn out if I keep making myself fit in a box that does not fit me. It was not my choice to end up a square while everyone else is a circle, and no matter how much it might bug anyone, that won't make a square fit through the circle hole.

Just in case no one else in your life says this to you, I will. You deserve at least some amount of time - and while sleeping does *not* count - without the mask at least some of every day (with maybe exceptions for like the occasional holiday with family or work trip or anniversary or something) without masking. There are plenty of symptoms of this disorder that do not cause harm to anyone, they just don't like it because they aren't used to it (for example flat affect) or because it causes them to have to put some effort in (for example, needing to communicate their emotions vs playing a bs game of Guess Who? with the clues read in a language you don't understand). Those symptoms can and should be unmasked sometimes.

Plain text below the cut:

This culture is blog definitely is in massive part a place to ask and answer questions too, no worries at all!/gen

The biggest thing for me that helped was first working on the masked piece that told me I was supposed to give a fuck about what people thought of me. I learned that manually over a long period of time, having next to no sense of embarrassment as a child and early teen. I found that once I got back to "I really don't give a fuck if you like me or think I'm a shit person or what, and if you think I should be constantly putting on some act for you, then you're an exhausting person and I'm glad to see you leave my life so bye", the rest of unmasking has come easier.

The second biggest thing builds on this; making sure you're not filling your life, especially your personal relationships which are supposed to be caring, supportive, and filling your battery vs draining it, with people you can't unmask around. Massive red flag if they can't get past the easy symptoms like flat affect and need for emotions being clearly communicated after a conversation or two and maybe some reassurance if they are more sensitive or have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. If the people you value push you to hide your disorder, you will no matter how hard you try not to. ASPD makes us cling tighter to bad people sometimes, because we know that we hate the social dance of trying to find someone else even remotely trustworthy, let alone that we can tolerate spending time around. This goes 10x for any Exceptions.

The third is letting yourself get a little angry. You shouldn't be spending your energy trying to hide symptoms you never asked for and that hurt you more than anyone else. This disorder doesn't show up without the failure of *at minimum* a few adults in your life for many years without resolving it. If they don't like you being like this, then maybe they should have done their job. It isn't your job to hide their mistakes. It isn't your job to hide their *failure* to do a simple job of keeping a kid safe and secure. If you look up the percentage of needs being met that leads to a secure attachment style (which ASPD is not compatible with), you probably will find the getting mad portion of unmasking pretty easy. The bar was in hell and the majority of the adults supposed to take care of you in your childhood played limbo. That's worth being upset about.

To be clear, this isn't the go ahead or encouragement to get violent, abusive, or destructive, but if your symptoms are inconveniencing someone vs hurting them, then fuck it. You deserve to breathe and just *be* sometimes instead of starring in Normal Person, Director's Cut all day every day.

Once I got those things under my belt, most of the rest of unmasking for me has just been reminding myself that I will burn out if I keep making myself fit in a box that does not fit me. It was not my choice to end up a square while everyone else is a circle, and no matter how much it might bug anyone, that won't make a square fit through the circle hole.

Just in case no one else in your life says this to you, I will. You deserve at least some amount of time - and while sleeping does *not* count - without the mask at least some of every day (with maybe exceptions for like the occasional holiday with family or work trip or anniversary or something) without masking. There are plenty of symptoms of this disorder that do not cause harm to anyone, they just don't like it because they aren't used to it (for example flat affect) or because it causes them to have to put some effort in (for example, needing to communicate their emotions vs playing a bs game of Guess Who? with the clues read in a language you don't understand). Those symptoms can and should be unmasked sometimes.

[nishloves]

𝐒𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄!

f!reader x kyojuro rengoku // fluff, angst // spoilers ahead! // masterlist

w a r n i n g s (part2) : blood, drinking, mentions of insomnia

w o r d s : 4.5k

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | (ch3-10 coming soon!)

you're sure that all your perfect stars were aligned when you met him.

"A party?" You mumbled, straightening out your now fixed haori as you looked at your kasugai.

"Master Ubuyashiki has prepared a feast for the hashira for their outstanding work!" The crow chirped, opting to sit on your shoulder as you folded your haori, stretching your legs and leaning back on the tatami floor.

"Sorry for yesterday, Karase," you said to your crow as she chirped, which you thought of as an apology accepted.

"I could see this party going down for so many reasons, plus hashiras out of work?" You grumbled to yourself.

"Oyakata sama must have something in his mind."

"Alcohol!"

"There's alcohol present too? Wow, I'm pretty sure we all are going to pass out."

Being demon slayers most of you didn't indulge in any type of alcoholic beverages for most of the year, there were some exceptions but most of you highly refrained from drinking, the party could be fun but you couldn't help feel trepidation, no hashira at work? Not a single one?

"When is the party anyway?"

"In an hour."

"IN AN HOUR!"

Your crow flew off again.

"You aren't very fast! Are you?" You scoffed, you could swear that your kasugai was giggling, even if crows can't really giggle.

You sighed as you fervently rummaged through your closet, should you just wear your uniform? Or would that be too weird? It wasn't as if you didn't have a life outside of the corps! It just... seemed like that.

You rummaged through your seven pairs of uniform and ten pairs of casual clothes, of which several were worn out because you wore them at home... did you really not have a life?

Maybe you should invest your hard earned money on clothes instead of cinnamon.

You looked at the time,

"I'm gonna be late, aren't i?"

You fervently threw on a decent white kimono covered with yellow and red flowers while managing your very very wild hair.

Somehow you got ready in fifteen minutes and stepped out of the house.

"Where is the party, Karase?" You asked your prankster crow as she peered at you.

"The sound hashira's house!"

"You're sure Oyakata sama planned our vacation and not Uzui san?" You asked, your brows furrowed.

"Oyakata sama was the one who planned it, for sure!"

Ren...Rengoku again?

You whipped your head towards the sound of his voice as you saw him laughing, "Hello l/n kun! Are you well now?"

You eyes widened as you noticed his apparel, draped in red kimono, his cloth was full of swirls of golden and yellow leaves with black cuffed sleeves, his hair tamed and collected into a low ponytail as you shamelessly gaped at him.

"Is there something on my face?" he asked, his brows scrunching slightly as he tried to register your expression.

"No- NOT AT ALL," you cried out, mentally slapping yourself for staring at him for too long, "I- I just never saw your hair tied back."

"Oh? Does it look bad?"

You eyes flickered along his golden ones, a smile twitching on your lips as you grinned, "Not at all, you look very cool!"

The tip of his ears and cheeks reddened as he blinked rapidly, did he get you to smile like that?

He should say something, compliment you on how your kimono complimented the undertone of your skin, how your eyes twinkled under the sun rays or rather how neatly your hair was done— but you had turned around, the moment had passed.

"Did Uzui san tell you about the party? You both are rather close," you asked, calming down your nervous and shy jitters as you managed to look ahead at the road, you knew you won't be able to converse with him if you look at him.

"Surprisingly no, I hadn't had a chance to talk to him for weeks," he replied honestly as he looked at your figure leading the way to the said hashira's house.

Rengoku had walked this path many times before, he didn't need any guide or whatsoever, but whatever you were doing was making him happy, so he didn't ask you to slow down.

Walking with you was better, he quite liked your company.

"Were you running late for the party too?"

His face flushed again as he looked away from you for a second; for someone who was known to be very punctual, this tardiness didn't suit him at all.

"I was," he said in a rather soft voice, "Though I was sure I would make it in time if I make a run for it."

You realised he hated calling the cabs.

"Why not call the cab?"

"And waste an opportunity to exercise?"

Or he was just very passionate.

You looked back at him, "Am i slowing you down?" You asked with guilt laced in your voice as you looked forward, "If you want we can still make a run for it, I am a hashira too—"

"No! You already overwork yourself, I am not letting you not rest on a rest day," Rengoku retorted, his strides widening as he easily caught up to you.

"You aren't slowing me down, l/n kun, I feel honoured to walk with you."

Did this guy ever blink?

You smiled slightly, "What's so honorable in walking with me?" You asked, playing with the sleeves of your kimono as Rengoku held your hand to help you cross the road. Your heartbeat fastened, he knew you could easily cross the road, hell you're a hashira! You could easily do any normal thing. But, you being a hashira wasn't an excuse for him to not be gentle with you.

"Shinobu would have chomped your ears off if you had tried to help her," you giggled, causing Rengoku to shiver at his imagination. "she would have," he agreed letting go of your hand,

Hold it again please.

"I'm glad I'm walking with you."

You could only hum and smile at the male bashfully as he grinned at you.

You both were the ones flirting, right?

"You're late."

"Not by much!" You retorted as Uzui grinned at you and Rengoku, not opting to remark on why you both were together.

"Well whatever, alcohol is there," he pointed to the distant corner of his very huge garden, "and food is there."

"Why are food and alcohol so far away?"

"I don't want to handle your drunk asses," he said; you could see his admittedly very pretty wives trying to serve hashiras with refreshments.

"Fair enough," Rengoku said as he walked further, his eyes very very set on the food.

"That was a rare sight," Uzui said, his lips widening into a smirk as you flinched.

"What do you mean?" You asked, being well aware of what he meant.

"You and Rengoku; I thought it was only Mitsuri and Obanai."

"It's not like that!" You retorted as you put your hands in the air, "We just met each other on the way!"

"So you aren't dating?"

"Not a chance," you replied, feeling a little disheartened.

"What a shame," the elder man said, turning to the direction of the party, "You don't look as flamboyant as me but still," he grinned back at you, "You look pretty today."

"Am I ugly otherwise?"

"I did NOT mean that, you just look depraved of food and sleep usually, you've rested well, that's good," he smiled at you as you followed him towards the party, not before noticing Rengoku devouring some type of meat and complimenting one of Uzui's wives (her name was Suma?) for the food.

"Glad that you could make it Y/N-san!"

"Thank you for hosting us, Hinatsuru-san," you smiled at the pretty lady who pushed a glass of sake in front of you, "Have fun!"

You looked around at the scene of the party; Uzui was trying to get Rengoku to slow down; Sanemi and Shinobu were into a deep conversation you had no idea about. Himejima san was snatching alcohol away from Muichiro and passing him an orange juice as Obanai looked at everyone annoyed, while Mitsuri tried to make him smile.

This is the closest to peace you all can have, isn't it?

Your gaze flickered towards the corner of the garden, where the water pillar sat alone with a drink in his hands.

Your heart throbbed, even you weren't that introverted.

You sauntered towards him, trying to keep him a company.

"Giyuu san," you called out, sitting in front of him.

"l/n," he nodded at you, his eyes softer than before.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Drinking."

You smiled at him, you knew that he was severely misunderstood, but who wouldn't misunderstand him if he gives them this sort of answer.

"Do you like it here?"

"Sanemi asked me to not be a buzz-kill so I'm sitting here."

You internally cringed as you looked at the wind hashira who was still engrossed in his conversation with Shinobu. He didn't have to be so mean.

"Don't think too much about it, you're fine, Giyuu san."

"I suppose... I should say thankyou."

"Well done!" You grinned at him, suddenly aware of the numerous stares on you both as you paid them no heed; Giyuu was known to be arrogant afterall, but not many of his rumours were true.

"How are you doing? I heard you got wounded," he asked, his eyes on you as you shuffled nervously.

"I wasn't particularly wounded! I was just... Burnt out, too exhausted to move, I didn't have any injury," you said, scratching your nape out of embarrassment.

"Why didn't you visit the butterfly mansion?"

"Well, i didn't see any need for it— it wasn't as if I was wounded and many others had to be treated with more priority," you replied, embarrassed out of your wit's end.

He gave you a disapproving glance, "Urokodaki san wouldn't like that."

"Hey! I sincerely didn't think that I required it!" You retorted as you sneezed, your body accepting the allegations you were trying to deny.

Giyuu passed you his handkerchief.

"Get a check up at the mansion soon, alright?" He said, his gaze averted to the empty glass sitting in front of you both.

You gave him a small smile; you had first met Giyuu three months before his final selection at Urokodaki's hut. He was your senior at the previous Water hashira's house. But, all your ties were cut after you had cultivated your own breathing style. It hurt you to see him being so painfully misunderstood, because you knew that he cared. He cared in his own way.

Yet when you see the Giyuu in front of you and the Giyuu you remember, there's a vast difference.

How could there not be?

You won't pry for his well being though, you don't need to. You suddenly remembered to write to the old man Urokodaki, you would soon.

"I will, Giyuu san," you replied, leaning back on your chair.

"l/n?"

"Yes?"

"What if... you come across a demon that doesn't kill humans?" Giyuu asked, his gaze still fixated on the empty glass.

"What? That's impossible, isn't it? A demon not wanting to eat human flesh?" You laughed, but something in Giyuu's demeanor made you think that it wasn't a joke.

"Only Muzan can do that right?" You asked, more alert than before as you tried to keep down all the foreign voices at the party.

". . ."

"Giyuu san," you said, your eyes squinting, "Did you see someone like that?"

"l/n, i-" the water hashira looked at you, he seemed uncomfortable, "there's a new demon slayer—"

"y/n kun! What are you doing sitting with Tomioka san all alone? Hasn't he bored you to death by now?"

You whipped around to see Shinobu grinning at you as Sanemi scoffed at the water pillar.

"Well— he hasn't. He's alright."

"Tomioka san, you shouldn't try to seem likable!"

"...people don't dislike me."

"Oh wow! Do you seriously believe that?" Shinobu gasped as you looked at Tomioka, you couldn't ask him for an explanation now— he looked too uncomfortable even in front of you to open up right away, it wouldn't be nice if you make him unload his baggage in front of everyone.

"Don't bully him, Shinobu," you nudged your friend as she grinned at you, "What do you need?" You asked with a smile.

"Has Tomioka's language skills rubbed off on you," she retorted as Sanemi rolled his eyes, "Well whatever, let's us all drink; This party exists so that we can strengthen our bonds and take a break, we should honor Oyakata sama's wishes."

"You should join us too, Tomioka san, even though it's not really required—"

"He will join us," You answered on Giyuu's behalf as you pulled him at front.

"She said it isn't required—"

"It is." You shut him up.

"Alright."

You all gathered at the huge table at the centre of the garden, Uzui sat at the head's seat while Rengoku sat just in front of you, he passed you a smile which you happily returned.

"Oh y/n kun! You look pretty," Mitsuri gasped as she looked at you. You blushed.

"Thankyou so much."

You felt Obanai's glare. Was it too hot today?

"Let us all drink and get to know each other well!" Shinobu announced as she beamed at others— she looked so passive aggressive at times—

You weren't against the idea, but was it safe for all of you to become drunkards? Plus, there was Muichiro.

"That excluded you, Muichiro kun, you shall eat rice," Himejima pushed a bowl in front of the boy's place. At least one problem was solved.

You were still astounded at the fact that everyone actually attended the party, although it was master's order.

"Are we sure we should all drink?" You voiced out. "We have to return back to our homes and prepare for our next mission— should we drink at all?"

"You worry too much, y/n-kun!" Shinobu smiled at you, "Uzui san, Rengoku san and Shinazugawa san all can hold their liquor— Kanroji kun isn't even affected by it. We will be fine! Plus we all have exceptional tolerance."

You reluctantly nodded at the insect pillar.

"Though, I am not sure about Tomioka san, did he ever drink with his friends before?"

"I haven't."

YOU SHOULDN'T ADMIT THAT!

"Ah... Poor Tomioka san..."

"I am not poor..."

Yeah, you couldn't help him anymore.

Your eyes flickered towards Rengoku from Giyuu who was already eyeing you intently as an unknown blush crept up to your cheeks, yet you couldn't help but notice that, Rengoku was also staring at the handkerchief in your hands, very intently too.

Turns out you can't actually hold onto your liquor and it's pretty easy to get you drunk— along with Mitsuri.

Somehow you're sitting next to Rengoku now, as Obanai sits in your previous place between Mitsuri and Giyuu. Uzui shamelessly made out with his wives while Muichiro and Shinazugawa talked to Himejima, you could barely make out Giyuu and Shinobu quarreling on something.

But despite this admittedly exciting background, you could only focus at Rengoku.

"Did i tell you that you look very handsome today, Rengoku san?" You giggled as you laid your head on the table, looking up at Rengoku as he beamed at you.

"Hmm yes! Today! Before the party!"

"Did i now?" You pouted, covering your face with your hands, "Can I tell you again?"

"Haha! You may," he smiled at you, his heart racing because of your cuteness, how could someone as strong as you come off as such a little fluffball?

"But, i don't think you like me!" You pouted, smashing your face into the table as Rengoku tried to steady you.

His heart clenched, did he do something to make you feel that way?

"Why do you think that?" He asked, his voice quieter than before as you gazed up at him, "You didn't talk to me at the party even once!"

"Did i not? I'm sorry for that."

"You should be," you huffed as you leaned your head on his shoulder, making him blush slightly. "Don't be mean to me!"

"I promise I will not be," he smiled at your antics as you rested yourself on his shoulder, feeling more safe than ever. "l/n kun?"

"yes?"

"You look beautiful."

"Thankyou," you giggled as you closed your eyes, falling into a deep slumber.

Being with Rengoku always made you feel safe and secure, yes, you did fall asleep in front of him too much when you shouldn't— but did it matter? You were drunk and your crush was finding you adorable. You were on top of the world.

Shinobu's eyes fell upon you both as Rengoku's chest swelled with warmth, he loved it whenever you would get so vulnerable and light-hearted with him, it made him feel like you trusted him. Trusted him enough to show your inner child to him.

"It's cute how she fell asleep so easily after drinking," Shinobu said, her eyes on you.

Rengoku furrowed his brows, fell asleep easily? More often than not he had seen you dozing off earnestly.

"What do you mean?" He asked Shinobu as the insect pillar patted your head.

"She has acute insomnia because of her paranoia, it's hard for her to fall asleep usually— that's why I always urge her to visit for a checkup, but she rarely does," Shinobu said as she looked at Rengoku, "though the situation feels better now."

Rengoku's golden eyes flickered towards your figure which was half sprawled on him, his hands clutching your arm so that you don't fall as he tried to hide his smile, did you feel safe with him? He wondered as he got up from his seat, steadying your half limp body.

"I will get going," he announced to Tengen as the latter just nodded at him.

"Will you drop her off?" The sound pillar asked as he motioned towards your figure.

"Hmm. I will," Rengoku smiled at him as he picked you up gingerly, afraid of waking you up.

He called a cab as he placed you down on the seat, requesting the driver to drive slowly.

He chuckled as he saw you snuggling deeper into the seat, a small smile on your face as you lazily gazed up at Rengoku.

"Hehe, I like you very much, Rengoku san."

The second time you had met Rengoku was two months after the final selection, at the foothills of a huge mountain where you laid severely injured as the yellow haired man scrambled towards you.

"Shit— it really is you, l/n," you could hear his loud voice as you tried to breathe softly, energy draining from your body as you saw the flame haired man patch you up.

He smiled at you when he saw that you were conscious, "Hey there! I never assumed we would meet this way."

"i hope we don't ever meet this way again," you could hear him say.

"Reinforcements..." You muttered out, your voice strained as the man tried to help you lay down.

"Don't sit up, you would lose blood that way!" He scolded as he laid you down, "and for reinforcements— the stone pillar was sent here when it was determined that the demon was a lower moon."

You looked around yourself, corpses of demon slayers laid out in the open ground as tears welled up in your eyes, you were so useless— so helpless against the strong foe.

"The stone hashira took care of the demon," Rengoku said as he helped you sit up after patching your wound at your stomach. You saw a wound on his shoulder, blood seeping from it.

"You're hurt," you whispered, you hand on his arm as he smiled at you, "Himejima sama was fast, I didn't get hurt badly."

You nodded as you leaned your head back, trying to relax.

You remembered that a number of demon slayers were sent behind the demon, numerous of lower classes trying to make up for a lack of hashira as you winced in pain.

"You're strong," you said, your eyes on Rengoku as you saw his eyes widening slightly, "Not really, I was useless against the demon," he said, his smile unfaltering.

"I have to train a lot more," he said, crouching in front of you.

"At least you were able to give him a fight," you muttered, looking down at your hands as Rengoku's hands went up to your face, he levelled your chin up to look at him as he said, "I knew you would make it out alive. You know why?"

"... Why?"

"Because you're strong too," he smiled at you as he turned out, his back facing you, "come now, get on."

"What?"

"Let me take you to the butterfly mansion," he grinned at you as you smiled at him. Grateful for having a friend.

It had only been a few months and Rengoku had gone up from Mizunoto to Kanoe; while you were still a Mizunoe. It was embarrassing but you were alright, you would train harder to get on to the same level as him. He was the motivation you needed in this cruel world, even if you didn't register it yourself.

While you dreamt happily, Rengoku was stuck in a dilemma as he held you in his arms in front of your house. You weren't waking up at all, should he break into your house? Or should he take you as a guest to his family mansion?

He heard you mumbled some incoherent sentences against his chest as his heart swelled, along with a little guilt. He couldn't help it, could he?

He moved towards his house with you in his hands.

He would keep you away from his father's gaze and take care of you in his own house, until you wake up.

He cursed at himself as he admired your soft figure, how was he to stay strong when you were so cute in his arms?

When you woke up in a different room than yours you groaned at yourself, were you a nuisance to sound hashira last night?

Bracing yourself for incessant snarks from Uzui, you readied yourself before stepping out of the admittedly pretty and traditional room.

But, you were met with a different entity entirely, a little boy with very similar looks to Rengoku as your eyes widened.

"Senjuro kun?" You asked, your mind racing as you tried to figure out just what you did last night— but, it was all a blur, any memory after the sound hashira's house was a total blur.

Also, this permeating headache was nearly killing you.

"l/n san! Good morning," the boy smiled at you as he passed a tray towards you, you felt queasy looking at the food as you swore you wouldn't drink anymore.

"Good morning," you muttered out, your throat dry as you realised just how horrible you must be looking, should you really step in Rengoku's mansion like this? The thought of your physical condition made you more sick, you didn't care about the way you looked in front of Uzui— he was honestly like a big brother. But, Kyojuro Rengoku was another deal—

"This is for your hangover, you will feel better after this," the boy said as he passed you the fluid and you drank it in a gulp.

"That wasn't very tasty."

"It isn't supposed to be," Senjuro laughed at you as he took the dish from your hands, "you must have drunk a lot for nii-san to carry you here."

"You're telling me Rengoku carried me here?"

"Precisely."

"Wow, i must be such a burden."

"I don't think he felt the weight."

"Did you- did you just affirm that I am a burden?" You asked incredulously as Senjuro laughed at you.

You came to know Senjuro and Mitsuri because of Rengoku, yet— yet, you were closer to them than Rengoku. In the past, you had a habit of running away whenever Rengoku approached you, so that wasn't a surprise.

"I should go and say sorry, shouldn't i?" You said as Senjuro shrugged, "Someone made you hangover drink."

"Thankyou, dammit!"

"Mention not."

"Where is he?" You asked the boy as he smiled, "I think he just went towards the market to prepare for his mission."

"He has a mission today?"

"That's why he didn't drink yesterday," Senjuro said as he pulled a broom out of nowhere and went towards the garden.

"I would advise you to hurry to meet him before he actually steps into the market, you won't get to talk to him after that."

You rushed out of Rengoku's mansion but, really... You were late, or the hashira was too fast as you panted outside your house.

Your home was closer to the market than Rengoku's, so if he was returning anytime soon, you would meet him in front of your house.

"Oh? l/n!"

His loud voice boomed around your house as you smiled at him, waving at him sluggishly as he trotted towards you.

"Are you alright?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"I am, thanks for carrying me yesterday."

"It's no problem!"

"And sorry for being such an inconvenience—"

"You weren't," he cut you off as you noticed a change in his glances towards you, were you still dreaming?

"I- did I do anything weird yesterday?" You asked, playing with your cuffs as you looked at him bashfully.

"Haha! Not really, you were just singing some sappy songs on the way, do you not remember?" He asked, his glare more demanding than before.

"I was?" You squeaked as you looked at him, embarrassment flooding your cheeks, "I-I am sorry, I don't remember anything of yesterday," you admitted.

"oh... I see."

Did something happen yesterday? Did you say anything?

"It's alright, l/n, you were nice to me even when you were drunk," Rengoku smiled, he didn't lie— he hated lying, but half-truths weren't lies right?

"Yet again sorry—"

"It's alright, you didn't mean it... you didn't mean anything."

Something in his words made you snap into reality more than before as you looked at the food in his hands.

"Oh right, today's your mission right? When are you leaving?" You asked as Rengoku looked at the food in his hands momentarily.

"I will be leaving tonight," he said, "Something about frequent disappearances at the mountain, I hope it's not a demon."

You hummed at affirmation as you looked at his golden eyes, which ignited certain spark in your heart.

"Rengoku san?"

"yes?"

"When you return, can I treat you to a meal?" as a date, you wanted to add but you couldn't.

But, the flame haired smiled widely at you, as if just the offer was enough to fill warmth into his heart.

"Sure l/n kun, I will look forward to it!"

"Take care... Rengoku san," you said as a slight blush graced your features.

He looked at you in sheer silence for a while as he raised his hand to pat your head, full adoration in his voice as his eyes crinckled, "I will, l/n kun. Promise me you will take care of yourself too?"

You smiled, "I will."

more at chapter 3! (coming soon)

not kidding, I wanted to publish this chapter within ten days of ch1 but it stretched to 11 days T-T

though, I do hope you all had fun reading it!

tags : @atmosphinx @sanjunlvr (you seemed interested in the fic so I thought to tag you, if you don't want to be disturbed, kindly let me know! thankyou &lt;;3)

kny tmi! - canon

rengoku possibly burst his eardrums when he was fighting the lower moon 2 for his position as a hashira— that's why his voice is too loud lol.

as far as I remember, when shinjuro stepped down as his position as a hashira rengoku went into a hashira meeting unannounced on behalf of his father when he wasn't even a tsuguko! thus, he had to kill a lower moon asap to become a flame hashira and step in his father's position!

[princesssmars]

free love all around

a makidrey x reader

its valentines day at constance billard, and your best friend knows just the way to make it even more special.

wc: 4.337 (wtf)

contains: fluff. polyamory. steamy makeout(s?) at the end. reader described having hair and being shorter than max. max is a little shit and audrey is confused about her sexuality but intrigued. aki bein cute and schemey. this is just a bisexual disaster.

a/n: them. just them. i started this in early 2021 (embarrassing) when aki pissed me off but i warmed up to him more in the beginning episodes of season two so triad x reader! too bad they all pissed me off in this season but On This Page Canon Means Nothing. i just finished 75% of this in a day so so if it seems wonky im sorry.

.

.

.

knock knock knock knock knock.

a loud sigh makes its way from the heap of covers in the middle of the bed in the grand bedroom. this little routine max loved happened nearly every damn week and god if it didnt annoy you every time-

knock knock knock knock knock.

you let out a long groan this time, muffling the sound of the door opening and the footsteps quickly making their way toward your bed, and just as you're about to reluctantly leave the comfort of where you sleep a giant weight plops on top of you.

"y'know i was about to berate you for sleeping in later but im actually feeling pretty comfy now."

"get off of me." you grumble, pushing your knees and arms forward to try to push your best friend off of you, making him laugh in the process.

"only if you get up." he moves his body to face you, his piercing blue eyes looking into yours.

your heart beats irregularly.

"ok fine, just move" you sigh.

he smiles victoriously, letting out a small giggle and rolling over on your bed, giving you the reluctant freedom to get up and start your day.

you move to your closet, look through your picked outfits and choose the one you feel would work for today before you move to your bathroom to wash up. until you see max get up from the bed.

"don't even think about it." you warn.

his eyes widen and the corner of his mouth quirks up slightly, showing how he thinks hes so hilarious.

“hurry up then, i need your help with something.”

you take a quick shower and put on your outfit and makeup, max’s foreboding words stuck in your mind and nearly making you poke your eye. it wasn't often that max let you in on one of his schemes, but when he did you knew your life was going to get very interesting for a few weeks.

“alright, what are you planning this time?” you ask, exiting the bathroom and grabbing your jacket and bag for school. max is already at the door, taking your hand in his as he leads you down the steps and out of your house. but not before you both say goodbye to your grandmother, who’s all sweet smiles in the mornings and has packed you some valentines themed goodies.

“don’t alright me, l/n. i swear this is finally the plan that you're going to agree with me on,” max holds your bags for you as you browse through something on your phone. once you're finished you make grabby hands for the snacks, looking through it after he quickly hands it to you to see some filled donuts and croissants. popping one in your mouth, you muffle a go-ahead for him to tell you his plan.

“first things first, I cant take all of the credit for this. our sweet little akeno helped, don't give me that look! he can be sneaky when he wants to be. anyway, both of us noticed something about audrey and need your help with it.”

“what have you noticed about her? is she acting like a diva because I'm afraid to admit that's how she’s always gonna be.” you joke, giggling when max rolls his eyes.

“obviously not that. its not about her personality but her..attraction to someone we know,” he states, sending you a pointed look that has you nearly stumbling over yourself. “don’t look so surprised, you definitely knew something was up.”

you stutter, still trying to process this load of information that's been dumped on you. “i-i knew she was being nicer to me, but I just thought she wanted some emotional support other than julien! are you seriously trying to say she has a crush on me?”

”that, my dearest, is what we’re going to find out.” his hand patting your shoulder alerts you to your surroundings, seeing you've already arrived to the crowded entrance of constance billards - st. jude’s.

he still doesn't let your hand go as you walk up to your table, the rest of your friends already sitting down and talking to each other.

“dont act so happy to see us, everybody,” you announce your presence, a collection of small greetings being directed to you.

“that’s five days in a row you’ve been late, y/n. if you need a lesson on punctuality you could always just ask.” money chides, looking at you with her iconic sarcastic smile.

“good morning to you too, money bags.” you joke, laughing along with luna as monet rolls her eyes at your silly nickname for her.

“you two look cozy.” the distinct voice of audrey hope pops up, her eyes pointed towards you and max’s conjoined hands. you hear max laugh under his breath.

deciding to tease her a bit you rush over to her and tightly wrap your arms around her, ignoring her protests so as to not ruin her outfit. “aww, don't get jealous auds. you know you’re my favorite hugging buddy.”

“you’re an idiot.”

“cmon, you know you love me.” you let her go a bit to look at her face, the blonde looking everywhere but at your eyes.

holy shit.

you look to max and aki who are sitting next to each other on one of the benches, the two of them looking at you with knowing expressions.

“did your grandma give you breakfast again? please tell me she made those stuffed donuts that I love.” aki reaches over to grab the bag from your hands, figuring you’ve caught on and will tease audrey some more. his face lights up when he sees the treats, taking a donut and biting out a large chunk.

when it came to audrey, aki was able to tell what she was thinking easily. she couldn't hide the clear distaste on her face when talking to someone she disliked, or the way she always seemed at peace when watching old hollywood movies. his girlfriend was a visually open book, which he regularly used to his advantage. but the one thing he didn't expect audrey to take a clear attraction to was you.

the way her eyes trailed after you when you headed to class, how she would frequently bring you up in conversation. he even noticed how she also did the same with their dear friend max. at first he thought it was jealousy, but now he knows there’s something more behind those eyes. it wasn't until he brought it up with max that they came up with the plan to see just how far they could push audrey until she admitted her not-so-secret feelings.

“dont be do greedy, menzies,” you snatch the bag back from his hands, “yes she made enough for everybody. including some croissants which i know you love, auds.” you say, picking out a croissant and raising it to the blonde girls mouth. she glares at you for a few seconds before leaning in and taking a bite while maintaining eye contact.

“alright I'm out of here. you four are always so weird.” monet gags before rushing from the table to class, the rest of your friends laughing and agreeing before trailing after her.

“and then there were four,” max muttered, wearing his usual smirk and putting his arms around aki and audrey’s shoulders before looking at you. “what ever shall we do now?”

“not whatever you’re planning. ill see you three at lunch,” you say goodbye to the three before heading to class. you would need some alone time to process what just happened and what it meant for your relationship with your best friends.

.

.

.

right after your english literature class with audrey ended, the girl tells you not to wait up for her as the teacher wants to over her last essay with her. walking the short distance into the middle courtyard, you see max and aki already at your table and engaged in normal conversation. walking over, max roughly pulls you into a side embrace, dragging you halfway onto the table.

“if it isn't our little star of the evening,” max gushed, smiling brightly at you.

“its eleven in the morning.”

“just enjoy my compliments, y/n.” ”anyway,” aki butts it, leaning forward to get a better part in the conversation. “thanks for going along with the plan so effortlessly this morning. we were going to take it a bit further tonight.”

they smile at you, aki’s hesitant and max’s borderline devilish.

“oh god what is it now?” you ask, slapping max’s thigh and laughing at his squeal.

“stop doing that! and what dear akeno was going to say was that he wants us to make it look like we're close so audrey gets a little jealous.”

your brows squint in confusion. “but we are close. we’re nearly attached at the hip most of the time?”

“he means make it look like we’re screwing.”

you move to smack max again, but he seems to expect it as he laughs and moves out of your hand's trajectory. you'd gotten used to max’s potty mouth but that didn't mean he could just say things like that in public. especially with this stupid gossip girl thing going around.

“have some class, wolfe.”

“if i did id be a different person, l/n. and we all know you'd miss my charming personality.” he purrs, throwing an arm around your shoulder. he’s really committed to this act, you think, as he looks like he wants to eat you alive. ”i can't believe im saying this but max is right,” aki says, smiling at max’s faux-insulted face, “if there's one thing i know about audrey its that when she feels like she’s missing out on something she will do everything she can to get it. she spent three hours last tuesday looking for a vintage chanel purse that got discontinued almost thirty years ago.”

“she definitely is persistent when she wants to be. which is precisely why this will work if me and y/n shag it up.” max leers. you consider criticizing his choice of words but decide to leave it.

“ok, so we make her jealous, and then what? she figures out her sexuality? what else?” you question.

they both open their mouths to speak but stop, not having thought that far. you can feel yourself slowly losing hope in them before max finally speaks.

“we’ll figure it out when is happens.”

.

.

.

its a few hours later that you’re back at home, getting dressed as you wait for max to come back from his house so you can go to dumbo hall together as the next part of the plan. throughout the whole school day, max had taken his part of the plan very seriously, treating you how he would one of his new flames.

he moved his desk right next to yours in your language class, unsuccessfully trying to persuade the teacher to let him stay and let the two of you work together, he held your hand as he walked you to your final class before pointing out how audrey was staring at your conjoined hands like they were her mortal enemy.

before you got in your lift home, he bid you goodbye with a long kiss right on your cheek, smirking at your shocked expression. you could've sworn you heard an all too familiar scoff and a mass of blonde hair storming in your opposite direction.

knock knock knock.

fixing up the last of your makeup and touching up your hair, you glide over to your bedroom door before opening it. in front of you stands max, wearing a not all the way buttoned up striped silk shirt with white pants and dress shoes. a classic max wolfe get-up but entrancing as always.

you try to ignore his eyes dragging up and down your body, his eyes lingering on your hips and chest before resting on your eyes.

“i don't know it could use a few touch-ups,” max purrs as steps closer to you, your neck having to crane to look up at him, “y’know i wouldn't mind helping you out of that and being a little late.”

“oh shut up, you flirt.” you groan, pushing his smiling face out of your way to head downstairs to your shared lift. max trails after you, hot on your heels as he takes your hand to help you step into the car without flashing someone because of your dress.

the ride there is mostly silent and it surprises you. in a good way. you'd been best friends with max for years now and it seemed like every time you two shared a space you were always talking about something, whether it be his recent sexual adventures or one of your new achievements.

but this silence was…comfortable. he didnt say any other innuendos about your looks, deciding to just sit beside you and look out the window, his left hand slightly brushing your right. you dont say anything when he conjoins your hands together, no cameras around to see you.

you enjoy the prospect of having him in privacy more than you'd like to admit. it takes more of you to admit that it feels like someones something’s missing.

when the car stops outside the building of dumbo, max helps you outside of the car and stays beside you up the elevator to the bar, keeping a pale hand on the bottom of your back as he gently guides you. its quiet again in the elevator unil you get a shared message from aki.

aki : we'll be there soon. gossip girl wont shut up about you two. audrey is 😾. almost done!

you both laugh at his message, all too familiar with audreys signature pout when she's pissed off. you told her once in eighth grade that she looked like a kitten when she did it and she told you to shut up. she's been using the cat emojis since.

“just one more push and audrey will finally join the alphabet alliance.” max laughs.

“did you ever think this would happen?” you ask. “i mean it in the nicest way but auds always seemed like the straightest girl ever.”

“so did i until what happened last summer.” max laughs but cuts himself off, looking like he really didnt want that to slip out.

your brows raise. “what happened last summer?”

“iiii don't know what you're talking about. it was a completely normal day with friends being normal. about each other. yup.”

max wolfe was caught off guard. if it weren't so shocking you would have taken a picture for memory's sake.

“cmon, you can tell me maxie,” you tease, bringing out the pet name you used to call him when you were little.

“nope. mhm. not falling for it.”

before you can question him further the elevator stops on the top floor, the familiar dark yellowish lighting and mingling twenty-somethings welcoming you into the space.

max rushes out of the elevator, trying his best to avoid telling you what happened last summer. in the short walk over to the seating area, you keep your eye on him as he maneuvers over to the bar, hopefully ordering your favorite cocktail. you would need it for the night ahead.

you feel a hand wrap around your wrist before pulling you down onto the couch, your brain stalling as it rushes to comprehend what just happened. thankfully, it's just luna. horribly, it's just luna.

“tell me everything. when did you two hook up? or are you only dating? i really doubt it because your sexual chemistry is through the roof-”

“lune!” you groan, stopping her inquiries as she giggles at you. while you loved luna and went to her for advice often, she really knew how to pry to get you to open up to her.

“we aren't actually together,” you whisper, “its just to help someone figure something out.”

luna’s brow raises. “sounds like a weird favor, but i’ll play along. but be honest with me, when this person figures out whatever it is they need to figure out, are you sure you’l be able to just…go back to normal?”

“yeah, of course, we will.” it takes you a few seconds to answer, and you can tell by the look on the brunette's face that she doesn't believe you.

you're not that sure you believe in yourself either.

a glass of f/c enters your vision and you take it happily, thanking max as he settles on the couch next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder. you try your best to ignore luna’ stare.

it’s a while later that the golden couple makes their appearance. aki looks good as usual, managing to effortlessly loo both adorable and enticing. he looks at you and gives a little smile and wave. it’s so sweet you don't know if those are butterflies in your stomach or plain sickness.

audrey is standing hand in hand with him and god does she take your breath away each time she dolls up. her watching old hollywood movies as a kid and falling in love with the styles that suited her perfectly, the blonde wearing a simple black halter neck gown with a diamond chain necklace. her hair is flowing over her back and shoulders, perfectly framing her face.

she ignores the both of you, flopping down on the couch in front of you and starting up a pointless conversation with julien, whose eyes dart between the four of you.

aki laughs under his breath and sits beside her, all of you struggling not to laugh at her little hmpf as she scoots away from him.

you get in the group chat when he waves his phone in your direction.

max : well she looks cheery

aki : she thinks i knew about the two of you dating and didn't tell her.

y/n : so she's upset with all of us. how do we make her realize she’s got a big fat crush on me if she’s going to avoid me like last season's manolos?

max : i’ve got an idea

as soon as you read the message max grabs your arm with that devious look on his face and announces that you two are going to talk in private. you look to aki who shrugs and audrey who is barely concealing her annoyance.

max takes you across the room and inside a set of doors, pulling them almost all the way shut before he turns to you.

“i’ve got an idea,” he says.

“so I've heard,” you laugh. “did you have to drag me across the whole room to tell me?”

“it was that week at the hamptons.”

your laugh stops. “what are you talking about?”

he sighs. “last summer, that week at the hamptons. we were hanging at the beach and when you came out of the water audrey was staring at you. and then that girl came up and started flirting with you and she was the angriest I've ever seen her.”

your brain takes in what he’s telling you and it helps explain… so much. how in the span of a few hours audrey went from asking you to help her get changed to getting shy when you noticed a birthmark on her ribcage. from asking you constantly when you were going to finally find a cute person to take you out to gagging at every person in your dm’s.

you just wished she would have voiced this to you. you noticed her slight jealousy and just took it as her being protective. you had told her numerous times that she was the only girl in your life, knowing the problems she had with abandonment, always telling her there would be room for her. it breaks your heart to think how she felt knowing you didn't feel the same.

but then there's akeno, your dear friend and audreys boyfriend. it was safe to say everyone - minus monet and maybe obie - had a crush on the pink-haired boy at some point. he was kind and maybe a bit too indecisive, but if you had a problem he was the most level-headed person you knew and he put things into perspective when you needed it. you remember when you came back from a trip thinking everyone had forgotten your birthday only to be surprised by a birthday party thrown by no one other than aki.

“i just wish she would have told me.” you sigh. you look at max’s face to see his mouth in a thin line as he stares at any place in the room but you. “maxie? what’s wrong?”

“god, stop with that nick - you know what, im just gonna say it. i only notice audrey was staring at you because i was. i mean, you do realize you’re fucking gorgeous, right? we really should have expected this. the friends to lovers thing is pretty played out but i thought i would wait it out long enough to-”

max’s rambling is abruptly cut off when you grab the back of his head and bring his lips to yours. it takes him a few seconds to realize what's happening before he kisses back, but when he does… you’d heard talk from boys and girls around school about the skill of max wolfe’s mouth but you had no idea it could feel as good as this.

it was both desperate but sweet, the kiss of two people who were long overdue to indulge in each other this way. its not long into it that his mouth prods yours open, his tongue meeting yours when you do so willingly. the suddenness and intensity of the kiss makes you dizzy, your hands blindly coming up to pull harshly at the brunette's hair. he moans into the kiss, slightly pulling away and smiling when you chase after his mouth.

“i guess it's safe to say we’re on the same page,” he breathes, the breathiness of his voice making you want to kiss him until he can't speak, “i always had a feeling you'd be a good kisser but jesus,”

“shut up, wolfe.”

“make me, l/n.”

he doesn't have to tell you twice before you’re bringing him back to you. this time he takes more charge, his large hands wrapping up from your back and pulling you in. he moves the attack of his mouth to your neck, sucking so hard at one spot that you know there’ll be a hickey but that excites you even further-

you slightly open your eyes in ecstasy and widen them when they lock with audrey’s in the doorway. aki is standing behind her, looking both scared but…supportive?

you (reluctantly) push max off of you, and the small noise of confusion he makes almost makes the situation better. almost.

audrey steels herself and drags aki further into the room before commanding he close and lock the door, turning back to the two of you stuck standing like kids who were caught stealing from the cookie jar.

“so it’s true. you two are sleeping around and you didnt even bother telling me.” she seethes. but you know her. she puts up an angry front because she’s hurt.

“yup, sorry auds but we wanted to keep it a secret for a bit longer. it was fun to sneak around behind everyone’s backs, anyway,” max boasts, sliding up behind you and wrapping his arms around you. “we would have told you eventually. we didnt think you would get so upset.”

“obviously im upset! my two best friends are sneaking around behind my back!”

“but…are you sure that’s why your upset?” you ask her.

she halts, keeping eye contact with you as she studies your face. you can see the moment she understands but squash it down, in fear that you don’t really mean what you say.

“of course. i should know these things. im…happy for you.”

“babe, c’mon,” aki begs, moving to join you by your side. “it’s ok, trust me. we know. that’s why we did this.”

she squints, eyes flickering between the three of you before she scoffs out a laugh and folds her hands over her chest. “you’re all assholes, you know that? if you had an inkling about how i do or don’t feel you could talk to me like normal people.”

glad she’s not that upset, you rush in and hug her body close to yours, lifting her a bit up off the ground as she yelps and slaps you on the shoulder. it doesn't help, she's barely concealing a smile when you look at her. you turn back to look at aki, who rolls his eye and mouths a “duh” at you before you move in and kiss audrey hope like you’ve been waiting a lifetime for it.

it’s both different but the same as max’s kiss, the desperation still there but less hurried. its slow and soft, comforting knowing you’ll get to do this again as much as you want now. that fat shocks you into pulling away from her, her eyes blinking up at you as she smiles prettily, the non-smudge lipstick that you got her working like a charm.

you feel a tap on your shoulder and look to your boys, the two having shared flushed cheeks and grins. deciding to finish your perfect little square, you giggle as you move over to give aki a sweet kiss as max drags in audrey for the same.

when all of you stop, you stand in silence for a minute just sharing looks before you all start laughing. normally after something like this you'd be nervous, wondering if you just ruined a relationship, but with the three of them you felt safe. you didnt have to worry about what you were, what you would do in the morning, or even the next few minutes. you just got to laugh in happiness with your favorite people knowing they felt the same about you.

.

.

.

[aphrodisiaxcunt]

🧼Soap🧼 and 💀Ghost💀 headcanons I have!♡

Yall babies need to be fed while i work on my longer fics~ dw i gotchu!

Content: little nsfw, fluff, little tiny bit of angst maybe

Soap! (Shout out my friend for this one) He would cook for you every morning when he's home, apron and all.

Soap! KING of back hugs, loves just wrapping his arms around you and then warming his cold hands against your belly.

Soap! Grew up with sisters, two or three in my opinion. He'd be a middle child.

Soap! Didn't have a good relationship to his father, his father was a stern military veteran and wanted a soldier. He died before Soap could succeed making his father proud.

Soap! I think he was a class clown in middle school, and then upgraded to a jock in high school.

Soap! He really wants kids. He loves his job, but if you told him you were pregnant he would immediately start the process of retiring.

Soap! He probably has a weird fear of clowns. They don't get any big reaction out of him but he'd shiver and curse in Gaelic under his breath.

Soap! Wore a kilt once outside of Scotland, and never again after someone called it a skirt

Soap! He'd be experimentive, loving every new position he can fuck you in. It's gonna be silly and would lead to a lot of giggling and joking when trying to learn new tougher positions.

Soap! His pace would stutter a lot, sometimes going fast when he's chasing that high and then dropping to sloppily and slowly thrusting his hips back and forth

Soap! Loves when you use your full weight on him. It makes him feel strong, because he is. Your weight is never a problem for him. Sitting on his face? Go right ahead, full weight baby.

Ghost! Definitely a reserved man, but he'd not be ashamed of you. He loves small pda like holding hands and tiny kisses.

Ghost! I think he would definitely listen to numetal

Ghost! 100% found one pair of comfortable pants and bought like 5 other pairs of the same. (You of course always stealing them for your own use)

Ghost! Does. Not. Know how to cook. He knows how to make basics, but when ever he tries something more grand, it always ends up burning. But he really loves your cooking

Ghost! Sometimes his night terrors are so bad, he can't help but cry. He doesen't feel the need to cry otherwise, but at times it's just too much. He isn't ashamed of it and sometimes let's you hold him through it.

Ghost! I have a feeling he would really love the spring, everything that happened to him on winters would just kind of melt away when spring came.

Ghost! Really appreciates feeling clean. After being on duty for so long, a nice hot shower to wash all the sweat and grime off is just what he needs. Maybe even a shower with you. ♡

Ghost! Never wants kids. I don't believe it has anything to do with his own father, I just think his life would be so focused in work, he'd feel bad if he had a kid at home, you're enough to feel guilty about

Ghost! Loves lazy sex, I don't think he'd be that kinky. Just some messing around in the morning after waking up.

Ghost! I think he's more recieving than giving, but when he is giving, his fingers are talented and they know where to find your soft spot

Ghost! If he did have a kink, it'd be mirrors. Fucking you infront of a mirror and pulling your hair back, forcing you to see yourself.

°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°

Go follow my ig @aphrodisiax_tumblr for fic release updates!!

[romvargrv]

Slow down you crazy child You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart tell me Why are you still so afraid? (mmmmm)

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out You got so much to do and only So many hours in a day (Ay)

But you know that when the truth is told That you can get what you want Or you can just get old You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through (Oooh) When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down you're doing fine You can't be everything you want to be before your time Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)

Too bad, but it's the life you lead You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need Though you can see when you're wrong You know you can't always see when you're right (you're right)

You got your passion, you got your pride But don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true (Oooh) When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down you crazy child Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two (oooh) When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

And you know that when the truth is told That you can get what you want or you can just get old You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through (oooh) Why don't you realize, Vienna waits for you?

When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?