#tw lack of hygiene

[mrfilippa]

How about some aran headcanons since you're the aran guy?

~ fan-mans

Ehehehehehe!

I am a bit late, but here you are! ( trigger warnings ⚠️ insomnia, lack of hygiene and hints of negligence) I worked on this headcanons for days!!

Behaviour

Aran sleeps very bad and he usually do exercise when he cannot sleep or when he wakes up too early. That's why at the WVBA gym he doesn't do anything except messing around and pranking.

He is very loud even in a normal situation. He likes being at the centre of attention. He isn't loquacious when sick.

Also he is an energetic young man, when he sits he always moves his feet or his hands.

if he has to describe himself, Aran would say he is both cool and lucky.

People would say about him instead that is a jerk who acts cocky, BUT they admit that he doesn't step back when things get hard.

Aran has a pov of the world where only the strongest can survive and rule over the others

Aran is a "open book", it's too easy to understand what Aran thinks about you

He is one of the quickest person the WVBA staff has never met. Also his reflexes are something outside this world: when he is concentrated he can avoid stuff throwing at him.

Aran has some... Problems... With hygiene. He usually forgets to take a shower or just brush his teeth. During his childhood and adolescence, no one told him how to wash himself correctly, so when he has to do it, he does it very quickly but he misses some parts.

Since this introduction in SPO, Aran stopped to cut his hair and, in general, to go to the barber. He prefers to take care of his hair himself (that's why his hairstyle is so odd). About his "beard", he thinks that a designer stubble is more masculine than a beard.

About hair, he is the most hairy around the WVBA. Very. His hair is the source of jokes against Don Flamenco's "hair". One time Don imagined to cut Aran's hair away and made a toupee with that hair.

Of course everyone remembers his iconic line about cheeseburger: Aran literally use that line with everyone, adapting it with their traditional food. Talking about stereotypes, Aran doesn't use them to do harm.

Aran has a soft side, but only his mam knows

He doesn't care what other people think about him and his behaviour

Joking and pranking is his way to interact with people

His driver's license was suspended and he decided to ride his bike. That's why he skips leg day XD

Passions

When he does exercise, Aran is very concentrated and he usually listens to Phonk (it boosts him with confidence and adrenaline)

When he has time (always lol), Aran draws on stuff or does doodles. Everywhere. On the metro, inside a cab, on a table of a pub... No place is safe.

About that, Aran made an Instagram page dedicated to his doodles in NY and Dublin (when he goes back), in which he signs himself as Ryan. Too bad everyone understands that it's him (tagging his main profile in the comments).

Relationships

Romantically he can give the vibes of someone uninterested in love and stuff

BUT truly Aran is a sorta of loser, he doesn't know how to approach to his s/o, so he imitates what Don and Macho Man do. In a bad way, exaggerating everything, from giving numerous presents/gifts to hugging/touching his s/o. He also would brag how muscular and manly is he, and he would start to talk no stop

The only one who has the bravery to comment his behaviour is Bald Bull. Instead, Soda always supports Aran, no matter what.

his attitude changes completely when his mam is involved, from a tough fella you should never mess about to a good and softy big boy.

He becomes kinder and softer when he gets closer to his s/o too.

Usually he isn't very liked inside the WVBA, but he has some friends (mostly Major circuit/world circuit)! Normally, they hang out to the pub or walk around, maybe searching a new disco/pub or a skate park.

[bunni-v1]

the latest post was real funny lmaoo, do u think u could also write abt the 2nd and 3rd years finding out the prefect is a girl? doesn't have to be immediate, take ur time <3

Second Years Find out You’re a Girl?!?!? (NOT CLICKBAIT) 

TW: Swearing; You have a smell (Ruggie); Floyd and Jade; Bunni can’t write Silver lol

Info: Ruggie, Jade, Floyd, Jamil, and Silver x Reader (Separate; Platonic/Romantic)

🍓Hiiii. Skip the intro if this isn’t ur first rodeo and buckle up cowboys (and cowgirls, and cowtheys, and cows). There is a notable lack of third years and dorm leaders because!!! They get their own part rip. I will (eventually) add links to the other parts, but I have a lot of homework to catch up on from being sick all week so it has to wait :). BTW it's long, but each part is pretty even. Love you all enjoyyyyy <3

First Years

Ortho & Sebek

Third Years

Dorm Leaders

-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?

-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.

-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.

-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)

-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)

-So how do you two do it?

-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.

-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.

-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)

-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.

-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part. 

-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.

-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.

-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.

-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!

-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good… trial run.

-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…

-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.

-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course).

-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.

-So… how do they find out?

Ruggie

-Ruggie is… unique when compared to Jack. 

-The three beastmen in the cast are all oddballs in this case, but I feel Ruggie is the oddest.

-See, Ruggie finds out nearly immediately. I’m talking like… first day when you and Grim set the school on fire immediately.

-It’s my personal belief that he has the strongest nose between Leona, himself, and Jack so he doesn’t have to be close to smell that something is different about you.

-Now he wasn’t sure for sure. The smell of a person, especially humans, has a lot of factors playing in them. Plus the fact that you’re… not exactly a normal member of Twisted Wonderland’s Society.

-But he had a hunch. That hunch was only confirmed when he decided to steal your sandwich for Leona. 

-He got a nice big ol’ whiff of your smell, and he won’t lie and say it didn’t throw him off, for a second. He almost lost control of his spell on you.

-Luckily he didn’t, he got his sandwich and got away, but it left him with a lot to think about.

-(Bunni interjecting opinion here, my bad) See, Ruggie isn’t exactly afraid of the women in his cackle. They’re civilized people, after all, they’re not out there beating on every guy they see, but they are kind of intimidating.

-He was raised to respect and fear women by his granny, and he’s never really had anything that directly opposed that moral code impeded in him.

-That was until you started to get a little too involved in sniffing Leona and him out for injuring other students.

-Why couldn’t you keep that stupid little nose of yours where it belongs, huh? You’re making more trouble than it’s worth.

-Tries a ton of different ways to scare you off for your own good, but you are damn stubborn and Ruggie both hates and admires you for it.

-You figure he and Leona both know you’re a girl. Hell, Leona outright implies it every time he sees you (thank god your friends of choice are morons). 

-Ruggie though? He looks at you weirdly. You can’t be sure, but he’s a bit more cautious around you. Careful he doesn’t hurt you, but also sure to give you a spook or two when he needs.

-It’s all so odd.

-It’s not till Leona overblots that both of you get your closure. 

-Both you and Ruggie are left alone to recover after your friends leave and Leona’s family drags him away for forced bonding time.

-He can’t help but test the waters.

-“Yer weird y’know.”

“Gee, thanks. That’s how you talk to the guy who saved your life earlier.”

“Hey, that’s how I talk to everyone. Don’t matter if you saved my life or not.”

“Whatever. What's so weird about me then.”

“Why’re ya hidin’ who ya really are.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Yeah, ya do, yer the one who was insistent on that gym shirt that’s clearly three times yer size.”

“…

…..

…Fiiiiine. You got me.”

-He’s smug about it for the longest time too. Constantly cracking jokes and poking fun at you.

-Honestly, it's the start of a really cute friendship! 

-You two are far more chill and friendly after Leona’s overblot. So much so that Grim, Ace, and Deuce call it into question, but he won’t tell if you don’t.

-Besides, you need a good friend to hang around where you don’t have to constantly hide who you are all the time.

-He’s the chill presence that you need on campus, and he’ll keep his mouth shut with no problem. (So long as you keep providing him that sweet, free lunch).

Jade

-He doesn’t think you’re too good at keeping secrets.

-Unlike the beast men, he doesn’t have an amazing nose. In fact, Jade would say his smelling ability is rather lackluster compared to Floyd or Azul. 

-However, he has a crazy scary intuition.

-He doesn’t know right away, of course. He doesn’t have x-ray vision to see through your baggy uniform.

-What gives it away for Jade is your mannerisms. The way you react to different things your more… masculine peers do or say. The discomfort on your face with the more touchy-feely students on campus.

-To our lovely (bastard) Jade, it's all a dead giveaway. He knows by the start of book three when you first make your deal with Azul.

-It’s like he’s looking through you in that crowded little office. His gaze and placid smile pierced through your skin.

-He won’t say anything to anyone though. What fun would that be? 

-To him, it's quite funny seeing how unaware both he and your friends are of the truth.

-He gives you the chills every time he’s around you, but he’s not giving you any reason to believe he knows anything more than what you’ve told him.

-He uses the correct pronouns and treats you as he would anyone else. The only thing is that he’s got this knowing glimmer in his eyes.

-It scares you. Not in the ‘oh god he’s gonna do something to me,’ way, but in the ‘Oh god he’s looking at me again, why is he looking at me again’ kinda way.

-He really does not give you an inkling of an idea that he knows. Just stares at you, smiling like a creepy doll.

-Eventually though, at some point after Azul’s overblot, he corners you (quite literally).

-You honestly think he’s about to kill you, he’s very tall and his face doesn’t change as he leans down to whisper in your ear.

-“Your secret is safe with me.”

-And he walks away.

-What. The. Fuck. Honestly, the scariest thing he could’ve done. Scarier than anything Floyd could ever do honestly.

-To his credit though, your secret is safe with him! Floyd and Azul find out completely on their own, and in fact act surprised when you ask if Jade was the one who told them.

-And honestly, if you can ignore how scary his smile is, he’s always lovely to talk to when you’re in his serving section at the lounge.

-He’s actually the one who convinced Azul to give you a part-time gig when you tell him about your… difficulties affording Sam’s prices.

-Makes sure that your uniform fits the way that makes you most comfortable, and keeps the more rowdy customers AND servers (including Floyd) away from you.

-Very kind! Very weird! 

-When you ask him why, he just tells you, “What’s the fun in letting our little secret get out.”

-Creepy! But at least you’re sort of safe around him.

Floyd

-Now, I am aware that Floyd is a very smart person. As smart as both Jade and Azul, in fact.

-However, homie has ADHD like crazy, and if something doesn’t have his attention he is not learning anything about it.

-Therefore, when it comes to you being female, it takes him a little longer than Jade and Azul to figure it out.

-You don’t really pique his interest for a while. Sure, you’re from a different dimension and all, and you’re a magicless student at one of the most prestigious magic schools ever, and you defeated two of the strongest students at NRC’s overblots.

-So what! Who cares! Certainly not Floyd!.

-You don’t interest him, plain and simple. He finds you kinda boring beyond all that “superficial” stuff out of your control.

-That is honestly for the best, you think, You sort of have Jade’s attention already, and that’s scary enough for you.

-You’ve heard the terrifying tales of what Floyd does to Riddle, you’d rather not be an object of his “affections.”

-It’s not until he’s forced to pay attention to you that he gets… interested. (Yayy for you!)

-It’s not immediate, of course. 

-He thinks you signing the contract with Azul so confidently is really funny. 

-Your determination to pretend you’re not scared of him and Jade is kinda cute, sure.

-When he realizes you’ve caught Jade’s eye he really starts to wonder about you.

-What is so interesting about you that Jade, his brother who only ever really liked peculiar people, has been keeping an eye on you like you’re his prey or something?

It really makes him think, but he doesn’t get it. Seriously. What's so different about you.

-Realizes what’s up when your baggy uniform manages to hug just the right place just long enough that he notices in the heat of battle.

-He gets it now, Jade. How silly you are, little shrimpy, hiding something like that from everyone.

-Suddenly, after Azul recovers from his overblot, Floyd is really friendly with you. 

-Not even in the creepy, stalker-ish way that a lot of people like to portray him as. (Though he does, in fact, do a lot of creepy stalker-ish things. It’s in his blood, he’s an underwater predator after all.)

-It’s more like a really, overly excited, not well-trained puppy who just wants attention from its (new) favorite person.

-And, you have to admit, he can be pretty pleasant to be around when he’s in a good mood! He’s funny, easy to talk to, and always has something fun he wants to do.

-It’s annoying to him that everyone gets in the way of him talking to you, though. He’s not gonna hurt you or anything, just wants to give you a squeeze is all.

Jamil

-Jamil has literally no reason to interact with you, ever.

-He, quite honestly, tries to avoid you at all costs.

-Trouble seems to follow you everywhere you go, and with Kalim always trailing him like a puppy, it’s not a mixture he wants to deal with.

-So, Jamil doesn’t know. Nor does he care to know at all. He doesn’t want to know anything about you.

-Alas, you both attend NRC. Nothing goes well at NRC.

-So, you bump into him in the kitchen during winter break. 

-If he’s completely honest, you are incredibly nice and easy to be around. Smarter than he’d thought too, seems that your bad luck only comes from your goodness of heart.

-It couldn’t hurt to let you eat with the rest of the dorm just this once… could it.

-It could. It very much could.

-It’s in his nature to be observant. He easily picks up on people's mannerisms and tells them so he can adjust to them as quickly as possible.

-Your mannerisms, however, are particularly different from every other guy on campus. 

-You act more like you belong in Pomefiore in a lot of ways, and you tend to flinch at the slightest bit of contact.

-You keep your distance, wear baggy clothes, and your voice sometimes sounds really strained.

-All of these things are odd, but… everyone at NRC is a little weird. He’s a little weird.

-So what. He writes it off and moves on.

-That is until he has to give you the Scarabia uniform after pointedly deciding to kidnap you for a while.

-Your very visible discomfort at the idea of having to wear the new clothes, which he picked specifically to be closer to your actual size, was quite a big giveaway for him.

-He simply smiles and hums and goes to fetch you something a little bigger, for your comfort. He’s not a monster after all! He wouldn’t want a young lady to be uncomfortable around him.

-Keeps it to himself, like a little prize. He was the only one who knew, and he wanted to keep it that way for a while without letting you know.

-It was for no reason other than to fuel that ever-growing ego in his chest.

-However, he gets a little annoyed when Kalim asks him if he thinks you’re a girl or not. He also gets very annoyed when you outwit him and fly to Octanivelle for help.

-Then he finds out that not only did Kalim manage to figure it out on his own, but Jade, Floyd, and Azul have known for ages now.

-It’s just a fun little bonus stressor that adds to his ultimate overblot.

-The overblot in which he exposes your secret to the whole of Scarabia. The overblot where he is just a little too creepy for you to be okay with him for a while.

-Needless to say, you do not have a good relationship with Jamil after all of that.

-He does, however, apologize properly for what he did during his overblot during the music training camp arc.

-You two never really fix things, but you become amicable enough. 

Jamil doesn’t really care enough to try and out you to the rest of NRC, but he does owe you a semblance of kindness thanks to what he put you through.

-So he makes sure Scarabia students and Kalim don’t go yapping to everyone after school starts up again.

🍓I have to be fully honest before I write this, I don’t… know how to write silver. I’m not up to date with chapter seven, and he hardly has any in-game content, so I’m sorry if I got him wrong. I’m trying my best to learn the Diasomania characters, but I don’t have the time to sit down and read ALL of chapter seven. (I do, however, have the time to get about 30 hrs a week on Mercy overwatch so maybe I should get my priorities straight…)🍓

Silver

-Silver is one of the last people to find out on campus.

-Not only do you never hang out with the Diasomnia students (other than Malleus), but you and Silver have absolutely nothing to talk about.

-He’s always in a weird sleep-fueled daze, and he’s super quiet and stern. He’s not exactly an easy guy to talk to, but he is nice when you do talk to him.

-The greatest extent to which you’ve interacted with him is through Lilia, and you hardly interact with Lilia outside of Malleus.

-So yeah… Silver doesn’t really have a chance to find out on his own.

-Besides, even if he did suspect something, he’s too upstanding and nice to bother asking you about it.

-Like Jack, he would just assume you were trans, or you’d tell him if you wanted to tell him. 

-Besides, gender isn’t all that big of a concern at NRC, let alone for someone who was raised by a pretty open-minded guy like Lilia.

-So, really, Silver has no reason to suspect or ask anything at all.

-However… he does… overhear Lilia talking about something like that with Malleus.

-More specifically, Lilia scolded Malleus and made him promise not to say anything to anyone else. (Silver wonders who he might’ve spilled to…)

-It’s not like it’s his business. You two aren’t super duper close or anything. He’s a royal guard anyway, he can keep his mouth shut. Besides, he could’ve just misheard the conversation.

-.

-..

-…

-….He’s kinda curious though. Damn his human nature, he just wants to know that’s all.

-So, he asks you outright one day.

-“Are you a girl?”

“…No hello?”

-He doesn’t get why you’d hide something like that. Women are strong, what’s the point in hiding that you’re a woman.

-You explain it to him, and suddenly he’s much more sympathetic.

-Offers to protect you if you ever need it out of the goodness of his heart. (What a sweetie)

-Otherwise, he doesn’t change all that much, maybe waves at you in the halls now, but he’s not going out of his way to talk to you unless you want him to.

-He’s another good guy <3

[lyndztanica]

Aid for Palestine

It's been a hot minute since I put one of these together but since uh

checks notes

Israel seems hellbent on committing a genocide live on social media and propogandaing the hell out of it this felt important. I have cobbled some of these orgs and charity functions from bluesky and the site formerly known as tw*tter, you've probably seen some of them around! But some of the bsky things I wanted to be sure made it over. Anyway.

Cease Fire Today :: if you are an American and you're short on cash for donations, this site has other options (emailing, calling, where protests are happening, etc.). It's all pretty simple to use. Figure out what you have the means to do and get to it.

Jewish Voice for Peace :: Jewish anti-Zionist organization advocating for a free Palestine. They have a good FAQ to hit back on some of the regular questions/concerns that are rooted in propoganda about this war.

Al Jazeera :: I cannot say there's a better source for the truth of what's going on than Al Jazeera compared to a lot of American outlets. They're the state media of Qatar but also, look at what we're working with here.

United Palestinian Appeal :: UPA does a lot of work in Palestinian refugee camps in Jordan and Lebanon, and in Gaza. Healthcare, infrastructure, education, and outreach. 98% of their funds go to programs.

Anera :: Anera's a relief organization who's been helping people in Palestine, Lebanon, and Jordan get emergency relief since 1968. At present they're trying to get food and hygiene kits into Gaza.

Palestine Children's Relief Fund :: Free medical care to ill and injured children lacking access locally. I do not think I need to say more.

Islamic Relief USA :: Organization that provides aid to help rebuild communities after a disaster, war, and also funds to help lift communities out of poverty. Currently fundraising for medical kits and food and water.

Baitulmaal :: Organization that specializes in emergency aid, poverty relief, and community development.

Medical Aid for Palestine :: Organization to provide medical aid for Palestinians, providing locally-led healthcare.

Prints for Palestine :: Art Auction going on until November 3rd to raise money for Medical Aid for Palestine. Take a look! Make a bid! Or buy something.

Games for Gaza :: 256 DRM-Free games itch.io bundle to raise money for Medical Aid for Palestine. Also has a few soundtracks, a couple of books, and some assets!

E-Sims for Gaza :: I think I also saw a tumblr post about this, but I'm linking to the live tweet thread because the op is keeping up to date on when cards run out/are restocked so folks can watch it if they have a twitter account.

[mamayan]

Ahem. Hotaru Haganezuka ask here. He is a virgin but he's good w his fingers.

Anything for you!♥️ I need to write more for him, he’s such a cutie. I totally screwed up and forgot the virgin aspect, but he’s 100% a virgin before marriage so… this is just some relationship fluff.

☆彡Break Time★彡

Hotaru Haganezuka x Wife! Reader

TW: Spanking (¿) • Couples Argument • Fingering (F) • Very light edging/overstimulation

It’s been days, and for the first time in his life, Hotaru felt guilty.

He knew his own passion and obsession for work worried his fellow colleagues, especially Kozo, who often would monitor and intervene if he was taking it too far and jeopardizing his health. He’d never expressed his gratitude properly, as he is forced to swallow the bitter medicine of experiencing this stress himself.

There you were, his adorable and sweet new bride, working still. Even now. Hardly eating, not sleeping, and while you’ve bathed that’s the longest you’ve pulled yourself from your work. He wanted to be understanding, because truly he too enjoyed the craft he’s dedicated his life too… but it’s different when it’s you throwing your health away. His hypocrisy lost on him though, as he only focuses on the rising anger at your carelessness for your health. Never mind how he treats himself, that’s not the issue here.

You hadn’t moved in eight hours, not even when he spoke or tried to touch you. Instead, you became enraged when he attempted to intervene or redirect.

Hotaru is not a patient man. If he hadn’t been busy with his own work, you wouldn’t have gotten away with this so long.

Your sass and attitude maxing out his boiling point, though not a difficult thing to do, when you’d snapped at him.

“Hotaru! You’re being a nuisance, please let me focus!” You huffed, your tired eyes and furrowed brows not cute enough to stop his explosion.

“Woman! You’re done! Time for a damn break,” you’re hauled into his arms, before being thrown over his shoulder as he furiously rambles at you.

“What’re you even thinking?! Do you want to die?! When was the last time you ate, huh?! Or slept?!” His mood coupled with being torn from your concentration and lack of sleep, ignites your own fiery rage.

You begin pounding uselessly at his wide back, kicking your feet and making his eye twitch as you shout back.

“Idiot! I’m not tired, put me down! Who’re you to judge?! Ah!” You jolt, crying out and cutting your tirade short when a large palm smacks your ass. He lands another on the other cheek even as he storms towards your home.

“I’m stupid?! If you’re not tired, that’s fine. I’ll help make you tired.” He’s fuming, but it’s not anything new with the hot blooded man.

You go to speak again, but a firm squeeze to your ass has you hushing, your gut instinct telling you not to rile him up further. He enters your home and goes straight for your shared bedroom, gently swinging you back to your feet and pushing you down onto your bed.

He tosses the mask and hair cover, revealing his irritated expression and dark gaze.

“You gonna fix that attitude and sleep or am I gonna have to make you?” His arms crossed over his chest expose his forearms as his haori slides up. The thick veins and muscles have you somewhat simmering down, your work becoming slightly less important as you peak up at your husband.

It feels like you’re losing though, as you pout and contemplate the best route to returning to work.

You could give in, but when has he ever made it easy to tear him from his work? You had to tickle him to disable him long enough for Kozo to drag him home. Even then, you had to threaten him within an inch of his life to make him settle and do basic hygiene and eat. You’d become familiar with his knives and throwing them.

Thinking about what a pain he is when it comes to overworking, you can’t help pushing back.

“This is unfair Taru, I’m nearly done anyway so just let me—,”

“Fucking stubborn.” He mutters under his breath, truly not seeing the irony. He drops to his knees, gripping your shoulders and manhandling you onto his lap, sitting your back to his chest while he snickers at your protests.

“You really don’t want to be good for me?” His gruff tone has you pausing in your fight, swallowing thickly at the implication.

You do want to be good for him, but he’s clearly rubbed off on you because you also don’t feel like listening. Being so sleep deprived, you worried if you did rest you’d lose all sense of creativity and your work would be ruined if you stopped now.

“I-I do, but Taru…oh,” you still as you feel his rough hands smooth over your clothes, before slipping beneath to feel your bare thighs.

“Not oh,” He mocks teasingly, leaning over you to lick the shell of your ear as you softly squeal and try to turn away. “You need to say ‘yes my darling Hotaru, my wonderful husband, always know best’.” He can’t see you rolling your eyes, but he knows you aren’t amused in your cranky state. “Don’t want to listen?” His question is foreboding but you just huff in annoyance, trying to wiggle your hips to make his hands either move where you want them or release you.

He lets his fingers dance over your skin for a moment, enjoying the feeling of you in his arms after so many days apart.

Hotaru lets one finger drag up your bare slit, groaning as he realizes you wore nothing beneath your yukata.

“Did you not miss me?” He whispers in your ear, and the moan you release as he lightly uses your slick to coat your clit is lovely. “Your work truly can’t wait? Even for this?” He presses into you, sinking one thick finger deep inside while you pant and grind down onto his hand. “Taru~ feels good,” you melt into his firm chest, letting him slowly pump his digit in and out of your pussy.

He chuckles, letting you get nice and comfortable before he removes his finger, your whine met with a harsh slap over your clit.

He laughs at your cry, back to rubbing soothing circles again. “Didn’t want you falling asleep, you said you weren’t tired right?” Your arousal spiked but annoyance ignited again, you wrap your arms behind you, around his own neck. He complies to your nonverbal demand by leaning further and kissing you, swallowing your moans as you open for him to invade.

Your mouth is nearly as hot as your pussy, his finger returning with another to sink inside you again.

You’re putty in no time. One arm around your waist to keep you still as you moan and cry for him, begging for him to go faster or harder because he’s just shy of doing enough make you cum.

“What’s wrong doll? Wasn’t I a nuisance earlier, but now you’re making so many demands. At least this mouth is cute and honest.” He’s doing it on purpose, keeping your peak just out of reach as you slowly unfold in his arms. The squelching of your pussy is noisy, especially when he picks up speed and intensity, only to drop back to an agonizingly slow and exploratory pace. He has nail marks in his arms, but he’s uncaring as he dedicates his full attention to making you as wet as possible without letting you have an orgasm.

His eyes track your face, tears finally bubbling over and spilling as you sniff and babble at him, begging for forgiveness and mercy.

“Look at you pretty thing, am I just so deep inside your pussy?” He’s not letting you answer, slotting his lips against your own again as he begins to increase his pace, slipping yet another finger inside you. You’ve been held on the edge so long you can’t hold back anymore, crying into his mouth as you finally cum.

Hotaru breaks the kiss in amazement as you jerk and try to claw out of his hold, whining almost as if in pain until he sees the fluids from your pussy squirting out.

“Taru, please, no, I can’t—” you nearly choke on the words, unable to hardly breathe because he just keeps going. Those rough calloused fingers filling you up and spreading you wide as they fuck you.

Unfortunately for you, he’s not paying attention. Too focused and enamored with how much you came, how hard and intense, and without even meaning to, you’re sent over the edge again. You nearly wail, the force of your muscles contracting as the pleasure explodes behind your eyes is enough to almost render you unconscious.

The way you shake and writhe in his arms finally breaks his focus as he looks down at you, so fucked out from his fingers alone you can’t keep your eyes open.

A part of him wants to make you do that again, but another acknowledges his wife needs rest like he originally intended to force.

Orgasms were good for sleep though, right? He always found his mood improving after he’s came, and clearly it worked well for you. Your soft nearly boneless figure in his arms proof.

“Sleepy?” He’s soft, kissing your forehead and cheeks, rubbing his nose against yours as you yawn and nod. “Mhm…” he doesn’t tease you further, laying you down properly on the bed, and getting up for a damp wash rag to clean up, and even making sure you drink some water. He was a bit worried of dehydration since you’d cum so hard.

He could go back to work, there’s another project he needs to start soon…

Your warm and sleepy figure in bed stops him though. He can’t resist stripping and climbing in with you, pulling you close and breathing you in.

While he’s not going to stop work for something measly like sleep or food, he’d never say no to this. Holding you. Sleeping beside you. Waking up with you.

[mara-ma]

Thank to the friend I remember that I didn't post my

HEADCANONS FOR JACOB'S BODY

❗TW: mention of SH and DEPRESSION, and also nudity ❗

- i already have headcanons for hands ;) (https://www.tumblr.com/mara-ma/739768012372099072/my-headcanons-for-jacobs-hands?source=share)

- small (sh) scars on hands and legs

- coarse hair and always unkept. Also grey hair starting to appear

- always circles under the eyes bc of lack of sleep or sitting infront of screen all day

- eye vision are -3

- scars on the chest bc he had breakdown bc his object of adoration got a partner

- pubic louse (bc of lack of hygiene)

- cut him off to 5 inches HE GET ENOUGH❗

- a lot of hair on all of the body. Bc of depression doesn't care about hygiene much

Ps: again sorry for f-up translation

❗TW: UNCENSORED VERSION ❗

[noose-lion]

Long-lasting effects growing up on the streets (in Suribachi) had on Chuuya

tw: mentions of eating disorder, child neglect, underage drinking

Requested by @evermorethecrow

He had very prominent food aggression when he was younger.

Only after realizing he could get Dazai to eat more if he let him "steal" off his plate did he start to deconstruct the mindset.

Spending time with the Flags helped him more with the food aggression.

Probably would have grown taller, but a childhood of malnourishment stunted him (as did an unhealthy degree of touch starvation).

Chuuya has stretch marks from rapid muscle growth and weight gain after joining the mafia.

Taught himself to read, along with that he picked up several bad habits when it came to writing. Had to do a lot of catch up and relearning after joining the mafia.

Chuuya still struggles with overeating or hoarding food, he's gotten better with it, but stress can cause him to regress.

When he first started making alot of money he was a penny pincher, but as he realized that his income was stable and would only increase, he slowly became more frugal with his spending.

22 year old Chuuya spends money much more freely, nothing being to high a price.

He wasn't able to sleep very well in a bed until he was closer to 16. Often sleeping on the couch; because the bed was too soft. He used a futon sometimes, but he preferred sleeping higher off the ground.

Aggression is Chuuya's knee-jerk reaction to most forms of confrontation.

22 year old Chuuya has better anger management, but it's taken years of meditation and self regulation.

As a teenager Chuuya wasn't great at personal hygiene (typical teenage boy, mixed with lack of access to hygiene products). He grows out of it and becomes quite fastidious in his adult life.

He had an alcohol dependence at a fairly young age, he's never fallen into true addiction but he's always been right there on the edge.

He had a few broken bones in between the 8 and 13, none of them quite healed right. They sometimes ache when it rains.

Chuuya prefers savory and bitter foods, in his youth such goods tasted better even after they had passed the expiration date.

He has an extreme control over his ability, after several accidents in his youth regarding collapsing shelters and severely injured Sheep members

might make a part 2

[depravitycentral]

is the…cum jar…the reason why nobunaga is worse than shalnark…………

Tw: non-consensual recording, restriction of rights, smells (? natural body odor I guess?), implied non-con, if Shalnark could live with the smell of your pussy in his nose at all times then that smile of his would be genuine

The cum jar is the reason Nobunaga is worse than any of them.

(Including Feitan, so to the anon that asked why Nobunaga's darling is pitied more than Feitan's, that's the answer in simple, short terms.)

(But of course, aside from the jar, the excessive touching, referring to himself as Daddy, and the lack of consistent hygiene/showering certainly don't earn him any points, either.)

That's not to say that Shalnark doesn't have any issues or weird idiosyncrasies of his own, though. He's a little more subtle than Nobunaga, but not by too big of a margin.

Shalnark's penchant for recording you is really quite invasive. If the cameras he secretly placed in your apartment while he was still stalking you aren't enough proof of this, consider the fact that he's still recording you once he's kidnapped you, only he's less secretive about it now.

Now, instead of having small, discrete cameras placed into things like a stuffed animal, a book cover, or an unused outlet, they're just out in the open. The small, black cameras are clearly visible against the off-white walls of the apartment he keeps you in, standing out like a beacon. Plus, when the lights are off, the red flashing light on each is still on - taunting you from the corner of your vision, declaring that even while you're sleeping and he's not in the room, he's seeing everything.

They're everywhere, too - you've counted at least four in your bedroom space, one for each corner of the room. There's two in the bathroom; one covers the room at large, so he can see you brushing your teeth or drying yourself off or even using the toilet, and the other's angled to catch your every movement in the shower. (He's got an additional two waterproof ones in the shower that you don't know about yet - one sits in the center of the shower head (installed for the sole purpose of seeing and capturing everything should you decide to use the shower head for some stress relieving, personal activities), and one sits on the top of the plastic drain cover, so that he can get a nice view from below (when you drop your loofah or soap up your legs, the camera gets a nice, full view of your ass and cunt, a sight that Shalnark will always pause on and screenshot, the image being saved to the some dozens of photo folders he has dedicated to your nude body).

And he'll make you watch the footage with him, too - with a smile on his face and his fingers nearly trembling from his excitement and joy at seeing your horrified expression. He likes to narrate everything, too, prefacing with what you're about to do to show that he's already watched the footage multiple times - enough to be able to recite every action and move you make. He likes the way it makes you squirm, and he also just enjoys watching you, too.

Outside of that voyeuristic habit, Shalnark is certainly no saint when it comes to more risqué reasons why he might be placed lower on the desirability chart of Phantom Troupe yanderes. That is, he has this weird habit of limiting how often you can shower and bathe. At first, he uses this as a tactic to punish you or deter you from certain behaviors he deems undesirable. (Like avoiding his touch or ignoring him.) He figures that by letting you grow dirty and greasy and desperate to clean yourself, you'll be more likely to bend to his wishes, and frankly, it works - you feel disgusting with all the sweat caked into your skin, the sudden whiff of body order making you cringe when you move your arms (he won't provide you with deodorant, of course).

It'll drive you crazy, but no matter how complacent you are, or how receptive you are to his attempts at molding you into what he wants, Shalnark will become hesitant to give into your pleas to let you shower.

Because while he agrees that your skin feels better when it's freshly washed (softer, cleaner, more pure), there's something about the way you smell that gets him a little hot under the collar. It's your natural scent, something that's so you. It may be your body odor, sure, or just your pheromones (he likes to think that's what makes him want to rip off his pants and fuck you until you're crying nearly every time he sees you), but regardless, you'll find that he's much handsier and touchier when you haven't showered in a few days.

And frankly, that's saying a lot for Shalnark - he's already all over you, but now he's burying his face into your neck and inhaling, moaning at the way your skin smells. He's coming up behind you and pressing every inch of his body against yours, pinning your hips against the kitchen counter and letting his hands slip under your shirt to cup the undersides of your breasts, only to remove them and smell his hands because fuck your sweat smells good.

He's just weird, and it'll freak you out, making you both uncomfortable and self-conscious because there's absolutely no way he could enjoy the scents and odors that your body is producing. Why does he like the smell of your hair when it hasn't been washed in way too long? Why does he likes the smell of your cunt after it hasn't been washed in four days?

It's simple, really - because it's you, and Shalnark likes anything and everything that has to do with you. So he'll let you shower eventually, but he might only let you wash your hair (if you desire) or your armpits, perhaps. Areas he knows drive you crazy to have dirty. But other areas?

Well, if you know what's good for you, you won't touch your pretty little pussy without his explicit permission that you can wash it.

(Often, he'll throw you down onto the bed after you've exited the shower, forcing your legs apart and burying his face against your cunt, inhaling deeply and letting a smile sit comfortably on his lips, oddly genuine while a red flush sits high on his cheeks. You just smell too damn good, so don't be surprised when the smell of sex and musk and him get added to the mix, the cum dripping from your pretty little hole certainly not helping the smell.)

And really, that's what makes Shalnark so horrible - he's so omnipresent, worming his way into every aspect of your life, until you're asking him permission for anything and everything. And if you choose to disobey, all those cameras and recording devices will showcase the truth. (And even if they don't, he's got enough photoshopping and editing experience to make it look like you did whatever he wants.)

So while Nobunaga is ultimately the worst because you have to ingest his disgusting, rancid cum, Shalnark isn't too much of an upgrade. His humiliation and dehumanization is a different brand, yes, but it'll leave you feeling just as weak and incapable.

So really, pick your poison - I just happen to prefer greasy hair and constant surveillance over being forced to eat something made specially for me.

[rfxiii]

Oooo, I know Christmas is coming up soon and I was wondering. Can u do one where fem reader and Trevor r under a mistletoe and they do more than just kiss?

I luv ur work!

(tysm for the request and kind words. I love your idea and had a lot of fun writing it! I hope it’s what you wanted, and if not feel free to send me a request to fix anything! <3)

TW: smut

Word Count: 3645

Trevor Philips And Fem!S/O Under A Mistletoe🎄:

It’s a rarity for Amanda to let you all over to the house- or to let Trevor over at all. But Christmas will be here in only a few short days and it seems the festive spirit has become contagious enough to have her growing more generous. You’d been surprised when Michael had called you out of the blue, inviting you and Trevor over for a party on the condition that you kept him from getting too….rowdy. You were excited, honestly. It had been a while since you’d all gotten together, and what better place to do it than the beautiful De Santa home?

You’d spent days after Michael’s call coaching Trevor on how to behave without getting himself thrown out and ruining the party. He was smart, he knew how to act. But something about Amanda awakened this awful little gremlin in his brain that insisted he did everything he could to antagonize her. He promises, over and over, that he’ll behave. And really, you love him, but you have your doubts.

He spends the night with you the day before the party. You tell him it’d be easier than picking him up or having him meet you here later in the afternoon. But frankly, you want to make sure he shows up at least wearing clean clothes and having showered. His outlandish outfits and lack of personal hygiene really don’t faze you anymore. But you don’t want to give Amanda any excuse to make a comment that’ll set him off and spur on an argument. You love Trevor, and you really do enjoy hanging out with Amanda when she and Trevor aren’t bickering. But god is it hard to keep the two of them in the same room without there being bloodshed.

You’ve just finished with your makeup and hair, exiting the bathroom in just your underwear as you mindlessly stride into the bedroom to locate the dress you’d bought for the occasion. It’s there that you find him, sprawled out across the bed, lounging in a way that’s so comically staged you almost laugh. Almost. But he’s dressed in that perfectly tailored, black suit and that dark grey, dress shirt that hugs his lean torso in all the right places, and suddenly all of your teasing and laughter dies on your tongue.

Fuck, is he hot!

He’s clearly thinking the same as you are. A sharp, lewd smirk twists his chapped lips while his eyes rake down your barely clothed body. And when his slimy tongue juts out from behind his teeth and licks his lips like he’s looking at the most delicious meal he’s ever had presented to him, you nearly melt. He sees the way you flush, how you not so discreetly let your gaze travel his body and appreciate him in the suit you’d picked out. He sits up slowly, pushing to his feet and strutting across the room the way a predator stalks its prey. It’s only when he’s right in front of you, with his calloused, cracked hands gripping your bare hips, that he finally speaks to you, “Ya like what ya see, sugar? Cuz I know I fuckin’ do. Wha’da’ya say we ditch Mikey’s party and I show you twice as much fun here at home?”

You’re tempted, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t. But you’d been looking forward to this for over a week, and you’re not about to let temptation ruin all your plans. You slide your hands from his chest up to loop your arms around his neck, pressing your nearly nude body against his fully clothed one and pulling him down until your lips nearly blush, “And have everyone miss out on how sexy you look? I don’t think so, Trev. But if you’re good at the party tonight you can come home and…unwrap one of your presents early.” you coos teasingly, peppering featherlight kisses to the corner of his lips.

Trevor’s grin grows almost Cheshire Cat wide, his cracked fingernails biting into the soft skin of your hips while he pulls you impossibly closer, “You always know just what to say to get your way, sugertits.” he growls softly against your ear, “Alright! Hurry up and get dressed. Faster we go, the faster we can get home!”

You bite back a giggle at his words, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and stepping back to finally get dressed. You’re still excited to go to the party and see all your friends, but the idea of getting home tonight was even more exhilarating.

It takes you just a little longer to get ready, then almost twenty minutes in the liquor store trying to talk Trevor out of buying cheap, high volume whiskey and to stick to the list of things you’d already pre-decided on. And by the time you finally arrive at Michael’s, you’re nearly thirty minutes late.

You ring the doorbell once, waiting patiently to be let inside. But after less than thirty seconds of silence, Trevor is rhythmically, impatiently ringing the doorbell and aggressively pounding on the door until Michael snatches it open with an unimpressed glare, “Shoulda known it was you, T.” he scoffs, stepping aside to let the two of you in before he addresses you politely with a genuine smile, “You look really nice tonight.”

“Thanks, Mikey! Who knew you could give an honest compliment?” Trevor butts in, wrapping an arm around Michael’s shoulder and shaking him almost violently.

Michael scoffs in annoyance, shaking off Trevor’s arm with an annoyed scowl, “Yeah, I didn’t mean you, T. I meant (y/n). But at least it seems like she got you to shower.” he taunts with as much good nature as the relationship between the duo will allow.

You giggle softly, trying to defuse any argument as you take Trevor’s hand and lean into his side, “Call it a Christmas miracle, I guess.” The teasing seems to work as Michael laughs heartily and Trevor lets out an amused scoff at his own expense. He’s always taken better to your jokes than teasing from anyone else.

Michael ushers you both fully inside, closing the door behind you and generously offering to take the light jacket you’d opted to wear over your dress. From the corner of your eye you spot Trevor staring, his gaze trailing down to your exposed cleavage that’s tastefully revealed by the low cut neckline. He doesn’t even bother to break away his staring when Michael begins talking to him and trying to lead him off to the living room. He’s practically drooling.

“Trev!” you whisper sharply, nudging his shoulder and giving him a disbelieving smirk, “Real subtle.. Hold it together until we’re home, huh?”

“Don’t blame me, sugar. You look good enough to eat.” Trevor practically growls. Thankfully, he’s being quiet about his lustful teasing, but any unheard whispers are immediately given away by the face he’s giving you. He looks practically ready to jump you right here in the entryway.

“Hey, T! You hear me? Come on.” Michael calls, waving the both of you into the living room and breaking up the heavy tension between the two of you. You trail behind Trevor with your fingers laced together, him pulling you along at a quick pace- but even in your heels you’re more than used to keeping up with his long stride.

The De Santa house has always been beautiful, but with the amount of decorations set up tonight it looks absolutely breathtaking. You’d have Amanda, and maybe Tracey, to thank for that. You know for sure the only effort Michael put in was potentially going to the liquor store to buy the booze, and all Jimmy had contributed was staying out of the way, in his room playing video games. You’re still honestly surprised Amanda had agreed to have you all in her nice house, and you’re sure she’s probably still on edge praying that Trevor doesn’t get too rowdy and destroy anything. You’ll have to keep him in check tonight- especially after she’s put in this much effort to make the party so nice.

Everyone was here, and honestly you’re shocked to see almost all of your friends under the same roof like this.

Amanda is in the kitchen with Tracey making them both drinks while Amanda fights back Lester to stop him sticking his bare hands into the chips and dip. Lamar has himself seated on the huge living room couch with his feet on the coffee table like he owns the place. Franklin sits at Lamar’s side, much more respectful with his feet on the ground and a glass of whiskey in his hand. Jimmy is lingering by Franklin and Lamar, trying his best to get their attention with his awkward jokes and embarrassingly offensive slang. You even catch sight of Wade wandering hesitantly into the kitchen to ask Tracey where the beer is. Trevor had told you, before you’d even left, that Ron refused to come- still harboring some paranoid, bad blood about Michael. But, despite the lack of Sandy Shores resident conspiracy theorist, all of you and Trevor’s closest people were here tonight. It was honestly nice seeing everyone again.

“Ay, Trevor, (y/n)!” Franklin greets from across the room- a giddy, slightly drunk grin on his lips as waves to the both of you.

“Heeey! Crazy dude! What’s good, loco?!” Lamar shouts in time with Franklin- shooting you a playful wink before being pulled back into whatever Jimmy was trying to say to him.

You giggle softly, pressing a kiss to Trevor’s cheek and ushering him off to hang out with Michael and Franklin, “I’m gonna go see Mandy. Be good, ok?” you tease, letting your hands gently brush down the lapels of his blazer and feel the lean muscle under your palms, “And play nice~”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! I got it, sugertits! Go have your girl time.” Trevor smirks, delivering a firm slap to your ass as you turn away toward the kitchen. You bit back a yelp, scowling at him over your shoulder when you hear Lamar whoop out a teasing catcall at the display. You try to act annoyed. But after the way he’d been eyeing you up since before you’d even left home, you can’t say you didn’t feel your desire for him growing with every lingering look, every trace of his tongue against his chapped lips, and ever hushed, raspy purr of how good you look.

It’s going to be a long night- and so you inhale softly, straightening yourself up and striding off to find Amanda. Hopefully she can help take your mind off everything Trevor is so involuntarily doing to you.

The party gets on fast, and for a while you easily find yourself getting distracted talking to Amanda, and then getting wrapped up in some over dramatic, politically driven rant Lester gets on. But it’s when you’re in the middle of listening to Wade ramble about he and Chef’s latest bout of troublemaking that you look up and spot Trevor practically eye fucking you from across the room. He’s “talking” to Michael, or more ignoring him while Michael talks at him.

He’s sitting on the couch, legs spread wide with a beer in his hand as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at you as you talk to Wade in the dining room. Trevor’s gaze rakes up your body, his dark eyes seeming more like he’s imagining what’s under your dress than actually looking at you. You let out a soft scoff, giving Trevor a subtle smirk and little roll of your eyes.

Your need for him is getting harder to ignore.

“Hey, Wade? Sorry to cut you off, but I’m gonna head to the bathroom. Alright?” you speak up, giving Wade’s shoulder a little squeeze as you shoot him an apologetic smile and skirt off to the bathroom upstairs. You just need a moment to breathe, to collect yourself, to focus on anything other than that smarmy grin and those dark, piercing eyes scanning your every move from across the room. You’re at the top of the stairs, about to head down the hall to the bathroom when strong arms wrap around your waist and warm, whiskey scented breath tickles against your ear.

“And where do ya think you're goin’, sugar?”

You choke back a gasp, grasping onto Trevor’s forearm and forcing your pounding heart to settle. Teeth nip at your exposed shoulder and large, calloused hands slide down your body and rest on your hips. You feel a little unsteady from the sudden movement, but you steady yourself against Trevor. His touch is like fire through your veins, making you crave more.

"Where do you think I'm going, T?" you ask breathlessly, arching into him. "Where do you want me to go?" you utter with a teasing grin.

Trevor pulls you closer, his erection pressing against your leg, and leans down, his lips brushing against your ear. "I want you right here, sugar." he purrs darkly, his gaze darting up to the mistletoe strung up throughout the hallway. You bite back a giggle, pressing back against him as you realize what it is he’s wanting, “Go on then.. Kiss me, Trev.”

He spins you around, pinning you against the wall, and kisses you roughly, his tongue sliding into your mouth and tangling with yours. His free hand reaches up, tugs at your hair to pull you closer. The heat of his body presses against yours, and you can feel the hardness of his erection through your dress. As the kiss deepens, he slides a hand down between your legs, cupping you through your panties. You gasp into his mouth, arching your back as he expertly finds your clit. You feel the pressure building inside you, your body tightening with need.

"Trevor..." you whisper, your voice hoarse from desire.

He breaks the kiss, his gaze netting yours with a predatory glint in his eyes, and a wicked smile curves his lips. "You're so fucking beautiful," he murmurs, then leans in to kiss you again.

His hand between your legs moves faster, and you can feel the wetness soaking the fabric of your underwear. You arch your back, pressing yourself against his hand, needing more. You can feel his cock, hot and hard against your thigh, and you want him inside you. Now.

Trevor steps back, breaking the contact, and you whimper in frustration. "Come with me," he says, his voice rough with desire. He takes your hand and leads you down the hall, toward Michael’s room.

Once inside the room, he locks the door, then turns to you. His gaze travels over your body, taking in your form fitting dress, the way your breasts are pushed up and barely contained by the lace bra, the smooth expanse of your exposed skin, the lust in your eyes. He reaches out, dragging his rough fingers through your hair. "You're so fucking gorgeous," he breathes. He steps closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "And I want you. Right here, right now. But first..." He slides a hand up your back, and with practiced ease, unzips your dress, sliding it off your shoulders and down your body. Your breasts are finally free, the lace of your bra the only thing keeping them hidden. His hands cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra, kneading and squeezing, and you moan softly.

"Fuck, Trevor," you breathe, arching your back, wanting more.

His eyes are dark and intense, and you can feel the heat of his desire. With one swift movement, he yanks down your bra, releasing your breasts from their confines. "There," he says, leaning down to take one nipple into his mouth. "Good girl."

His tongue swirls around your sensitive bud, teasing and tormenting. His other hand slides down your body, hooking into the band of your underwear. With a firm tug, he pulls them down your hips and off, leaving you completely bare. "God, you're so wet," he murmurs, his fingers slipping against you and finding the slick heat that awaits him. His touch is gentle, teasing, as he circles your clit with the pad of his index finger.

You arch your back, trying to muffle your moans. The sensation is so intense, you feel like you could explode. "Please, Trevor," you whimper, your voice shaky with need. "I need you." And with a stern order, Trevor nods to the bed with a devilish smirk on his lips, “Lay down.”

He straightens up, reaching for his belt. In a fluid movement, he unbuckles it, unbuttons his pants, and pushes them and his underwear down his hips. His cock springs free, hard and throbbing. He crawls onto the bed, lowering himself on top of you. His hot skin presses against yours, and he guides his cock to your entrance.

"Are you ready for me, sugar?" he whispers, his breath hot against your neck. You nod frantically, your fingers digging into his shoulders. "Then take me," he growls, and with one powerful thrust, he's inside you.

He groans, burying his face in your neck as his cock stretches you, filling you completely. You gasp at the feeling of being so full, so claimed. Your nails scrape down his back, urging him to move.

He begins to move, his hips sliding against yours in a steady rhythm. His cock feels incredible inside you, and with each thrust, you feel him getting deeper, closer. His scarred hand cups your breast, massaging and pinching your nipple, and you arch your back, meeting his movements with your own.

The sounds of your bodies moving together fills the room, thankfully mingling your moans with the sounds of the party downstairs. Trevor's breath is hot against your ear, his words whispered in a rough growl. "You feel so good, sugar!” he whines. "You're so fuckin’ perfect."

His hips move faster, driving deeper inside you until you can feel the bed creaking from his force, and you arch your back in response, meeting his thrusts with equal desperation. The sensation is overwhelming, the heat between your legs building rapidly, threatening to consume you.

"Trevor," you whine, your voice shaking with desire. "I'm close!"

He groans, his fingers digging into your hips. "So am I!" He picks up the pace, his cock driving in and out of you in a frenzy. You feel the familiar tension building deep in your core, and with one final, powerful thrust, you're overcome with pleasure. Your body tightens around him, gripping his cock as your orgasm washes over you in waves.

"Ahh fuck!" you cry out, your nails digging into his shoulders. "Trevor! Oh my god!"

He growls, thrusting hard one final time as he follows you over the edge, his body tense and shuddering as he releases himself into you. Your combined moans fill the room, mingling with the sounds of the party downstairs as if they're the only two people in the world.

He collapses on top of you, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. His weight feels impossibly smothering, but you welcome it, craving the feel of his skin against yours. His hot breath fans across your neck, and his hands roam possessively over your body, tracing patterns on your skin that make your heart race and your blood tingle.

"Fuck," he whispers, finally finding the air to speak. "That was-... I needed that after you were fuckin’ teasin’ me and shit all damn night.."

You smile up at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "Me? Tease you? No way, Trev." you giggle softly.

He rolls off you, his softening cock slipping free from your body with a wet squelch. You feel a pang of loss as he slips out of you, but you're too overwhelmed by the afterglow to dwell on it for long. He lies beside you, propped up on one elbow, watching you with a mix of lust and affection.

"You're incredible, angel.." he says, running a hand through your hair. "I can't get enough of you."

You feel a blush creep up your neck and into your cheeks, but you don't look away. "I love you, T." you sigh, tracing a finger along his jawline, “I dunno about you but-“

He cuts you off with a kiss, deep and possessive. "Me too, sugar. Wanna get outta here?” he snickers, dragging his fingers through your hair.

“Let’s go! Just gimme a minute to clean up, and-“

The doorknob jiggles suddenly, clanking and rattling as the door shakes. “What the fuck?..” you hear muttering through the door, and your heart nearly stops. “Oh fuck no… T, you had better not be in my fuckin’ room!” Michael shouts, knocking loudly as you and Trevor scramble to pull on your clothes.

“Calm your tits, porkchop! It’s not like this bed has seen any action from you and Mandy lately anyways!” Trevor teasingly jeers as he pulls his pants back up his hips- graciously waiting for you to pull on your dress before pulling open the door and smirking at Michael.

“I should kick your ass! You’re lucky Amanda didn’t fucking find you! Gross…” Michael hisses, shoving Trevor out the door and refusing to make eye contact with you as a bright blush dusts his cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! Don’t worry! We were goin’ anyways!” Trevor snickers, giving Michael a flippant wave as he struts off toward the stairs.

“Thanks for inviting us, Michael..” you mutter awkwardly, still unable and unwilling to look him in the eyes as you stagger slightly to catch up with Trevor.

“Yeah, Mikey! We had a great time!” Trevor cackles, shooting Michael a wink and leading you down the stairs- leaving a flustered, disgusted Michael in his wake.

He’d have to change those sheets before Amanda noticed.

[dirtytransmasc]

TW - child neglect, lack of hygiene as result of neglect

I think a lot of spider haters are either A. people who have never experienced neglect, especially physical neglect B. people who have internalized and denied themselves the space to heal/acknowledge their neglect and/or its effects C. neglecters themselves.

I say this because spider shows one of the clearest signs of physical and emotional neglect; lack of hygiene and cleanliness, and its one of the things he is mocked for the most.

now, I'm coming from the perspective of a kid who was neglected in that way, as a person who didn't know you needed to use a wash clothe, how to properly wash their hair, and other 'basic' hygiene knowledge until they were 15 or 16 years old.

spider was clearly not family to the sully's so I find it hard to believe they bathed him or even taught him to bathe. the scientists would most likely expect his 'family' to teach him that, and decided to leave those 'intimate' and 'personal' conversations to them.

children, humans in general, do not have the modern-day standards of hygiene ingrained in them; it is not an instinct, it is learned, it is taught.

so if he has no one who is willing to not only teach him, but show him, he will not have those skills. you can't expect him to have those skills. that's truly and honestly unfair, and so disheartening as someone who has suffered that effect of neglect, to see an entire fandom so keen on making that the butt of their jokes.

then you throw on the fact that he never chose, or at the very least, never made an educated decision (considering we first see his hair locked as a toddler/small child) to have his hair locked. locs need to be cared for in a very specific manner to be kept clean and healthy (and that's on the proper hair type, spider's hair in all honesty, is just matted, and can never properly be cleaned).

so this kid who doesn't even know the basics of hygiene, is now saddled with the responsibility of taking care of locs/glorified mats. of course the kid looks like a wreck, he literally doesn't know how to take care of himself, and mimicking what little you see of proper hygiene doesn't do much for very long.

the poor thing is suffering; I don't know if some of y'all know this, but feeling perpetually dirty, even when trying your best to keep clean, is exhausting and soul-crushing.

that boy has suffered on every level and far too many poke at it like its some joke.

[animeyanderelover]

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, paranoia, abduction

Darling thrives under his care

▫️An abduction is undoubtly going to happen within a few days after Ash has gone fully obsessed with his darling. As a fallen angel who views the city as a brimming cluster of corruption and impurity, he feels threatened and fears for your very existence. Who knows what might happen to you, someone so beautifully innocent and untainted? The urge to protect you, to cherish you and guarantee your well-being almost overwhelms the angel at times, his chest tightening with fear when he leaves you alone and his mind runs wild with the worst things that could happen. You need someone to guard you and with no one besides him fit to do this duty, he becomes your guardian angel. Yet Ash seems terrified with his task as he has never met someone as radiant as you, gets easily paranoid that he might not be good enough for you and finds himself suffering from anxious insecurities. His own worth depends on how well he can serve you so with your initial shock and strong rejection, he hits rock bottom.

▫️You aren't allowed to leave the cottage he has prepared specifically for you but otherwise you find that the angel will give you everything you ask him for. His paranoid overprotectiveness complicates things sometimes but you discover quickly that he's terribly putty in your hands so you figure out what to do so he bows to your every whim. You are able to get food you've never been able to afford before, he gets you all the books you could never read due to the price and the lack of time and are even able to get into artistic things like sewing and drawing now that you have time. Admittedly, the sewing took you a while since the aspect of needles seemed to scare Ash a bit, you could hurt yourself after all. Some discussions was all it took for you to convince him though as he crumbled in front of your pleading eyes. The connections Ash has and the influence and money that come with it allow you to get your hands on possessions you could have never dreamed of before in your old life.

▫️With no work to do anymore, you have plenty of free time to do the things you've always wanted to try and for the first time in years you can truly relax. You don't have to wake up early in the morning, instead you can spend the entire morning cuddled up in a fluffy and warm bed with the white butler preparing you a fancy breakfast as soon as you decide to leave the comfort of your blankets. You spend hours reading books with a steaming cup of tea next to you or try your talents in painting and sewing, something you're determined to get better in now that you have the time to do it properly. You're able to take a long bath, the scent of soap filling the air as you relax within the hot water. You were never able to take care of your hygiene before, a short and cold shower with a minimum of soap you could use was the norm before the abduction. Ash on the other hand is very finicky when it comes to health as he guarantees that the entire house is always clean and you have enough items to ensure your hygiene.

▫️The treatment and the access to all the things you never had before thanks to Ash change with time your perception of the abduction. You start getting used to the daily life with the angel, you even enjoy it. No tiresome work for 10 hours a day anymore. No insolent jabs from society because you're a woman who isn't married and actually tried to earn her own money instead of marrying, bearing children and relying solely on her husband. No more worries for fatal illnesses or infections that tend to make the round in the city, especially in winter when it's cold. Your life, no matter how one might look at it, your life has improved and you find yourself surrounded by a handsome man who spoils you and worships you. You can't help but find yourself fancying the angel who keeps you as you stop caring that he literally kidnapped you. You've met a few scumbags before in the past and can say with confidence that Ash has treated you from day one better than any of the men you've met in your entire life. Probably even more than any person you've met before in your life.

▫️Ash takes notice of the change in attitude but initially hesitates. Not because he doesn't believe you but because he doesn't believe in his own ability to make you truly happy just yet. The rather traumatizing memories from your first few days into abduction haunt him still and cling to his heart. Yet you appear so much more happier than before. You've regained your smile, have truly become passionate when it comes to sewing and drawing and always greet him with a small smile, one that has his heart soaring inside his chest. Suddenly you seek Ash out instead of showing him the cold shoulder, insists that he stays with you and talks with you more instead of scrambling away because of his belief that you don't want to see him. He never expected the attention and the interest you show him nor did he think he deserved it so he's shocked and still doubts if he can truly make you happy like this forever. He'd die to keep that smile on your face though.

▫️One day you gift him a handkerchief you made yourself, the embroidery on it spelling his name. You're immensely proud as you spend hours practicing just to make this for him as a way to thank him for everything he does for you but the tears that start flowing out seconds later from his purple eyes catch you off-guard. You panic a bit when he starts crying over the present you made for him. Him! He never thought that you owed him anything for the things he does for you, initially he even thinks about rejecting it as he doesn't think that he deserves it nor does he want you to spend your time just making stuff for him. He doesn't have the heart to do so when he sees the exciting glimmer in your eyes when you show him your work, he sees how proud you are of what you've done and how happy you are to finally be able to give your work to him. He's deeply touched by it, cherishes the gift you made for him. He feels the need to do even more for you afterwards but you tell him that you're already really happy with the life you have now thanks to him.

▫️You know that he has romantic feelings for you, you've known from the very beginning that he's quite obsessed with you. An aspect that used to scare you now flatters you, you just wish that he would stop thinking that he shouldn't have you nor believe that he deserves you. You catch his glances when he looks at you with such reverent and adoring eyes before he quickly looks else where, flustered and shocked with his thoughts and feelings going out of control. You're aware that you most likely have to do be the one to tell him that you want him to love you, you know he does already with every fiber of his being. You want him to be open about it though, want him to show you his love. Under his care you've grown a lot more confident though so you feel courageous enough to actually do it. The way his eyes gloss over with tears when he hears your honest wish and the way he kneels down right in front of you, staring up at you with pure reverence and adoration only confirm for you that giving up on your old life and embracing your new one was the right call. Because you know that you'll get your happy ending with Ash.

[faetaiity]

Can I leave a request? If your not doing requests that fine, you can do this later. Or not at all.

~

Rottmnt, Reader, (specifically, male pls) who has problems with being happy, or being content with himself. Where sometimes reader doesn't leave his house because of it, and the turtles check on him once in a while.

Donatello, checks on him and reader is crying on the floor, donnie isn't good with emotions and he stands there shocked and scared. Reader notice and apologies for acting like a child.

Donnie stays a little longer then usually and talks with reader about it.

Do your own twist with it if you'd like.

Have a good day !

I relate to this a lot as someone with Major Depressive Disorder (aka Clinical Depression) Holy fUCK- This is gonna be very much a self-indulgent post. This might not follow the ask 100% and I'm sorry /gen Can be taken as Romantic or Platonic.

Rise! Donatello x Male! Depressed! Reader

Post Format: 90% Story and 10% HCs

CW/TW: Crying, Mentions of a lack of self-care/hygiene, Depression-related issues, Implications(?) of Self-hatred/Low Self-esteem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Turtles in general are very caring friends, often checking up on you, Casey, April and Cassandra.

However, you are checked up on more, due to your sudden and out of the blue behavior at times.

Usually, all four check up on you, but sometimes it's just one or two

You can't really tell who you see the most, if someone comes alone to visit you, chances are you'll see the others separate or together in a few hours.

~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~

It's been a day or two since you've last met with the turtles, you miss them a lot but can't handle the idea of talking to them, at some point Mikey or Raph will ask you what was wrong, and you stress over the idea of being honest with them about it.

You've managed to skate by on telling them not to worry about it, but you have a feeling it won't work this time, so you (stupidly) prolong the inevitable and dreadful conversation about your emotions and issues.

Sighing, you make your way to your bathroom with a bundle of clothes in your hands, hoping the hygienic care would uplift your mood, it's worked a few times before, why not try it again now? and even if it doesn't, at least you've showered once since this depressive episode hit.

(Time-skip bc I actually kinda spaced out while writing and forgot that I would have to talk/have details abt reader showering, which is rlly weird, sorry abt that lmao)

You make your way to your bed, hair dripping wet, but you couldn't care less. You just want to cry, the shower didn't help as much as you hoped and now, you're just cold, tired, and sad.

Flopping onto your bed, you feel tears roll down your face, a rare moment as it's difficult for you to actually cry, but you try to let it happen, to not internalize your emotional turmoil like your therapist said, the feeling of tears rolling down your face was unfamiliar and odd, but not unwelcome.

Hearing the knock on your bedroom window about a minute or two after you began crying was deeply unsettling, you'd rather die than have Raph or gods forbid Dr. Feelings, enter and see you sobbing.

The knocking ceased after a few minutes, you've continued crying but not at the loud and fast pace you were at before the knocks began. You wait a couple seconds, sniffling and panting quietly as you try to hear if they've walked away or not, flinching when you hear the lock fiddle and unlatch, giving you the hint that the Turtle entering is Donnie, as you've only seen him lockpick doors and windows.

You hear the window open and see him slowly enter your bedroom, he looks around before spotting you on the bed, he stares at you for a while, seemingly unnerved by the tears streaming down your face, after several seconds or so of staring, he slowly and cautiously makes his way over to you, he stops by your legs and sits on the floor, his battle shell up against your bed.

You stare at him tiredly; you've stopped crying by this point, as you have always felt self-conscious about crying around other people, seeing yourself as an ugly crier.

He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, he looks at the floor, his facial expression giving away his confusion, he's raking through his mind trying to figure out a way to comfort someone he deeply cares about before-

"I'm sorry" you croak out, throat sore from crying, he stares at you incredulously.

"For what?"

"Crying, I know that makes you uncomfortable, I won't blame you if you leave, just don't tell Mikey or Raph, okay? If you feel like you have to send someone, send Leo... please." you mumble, feeling awkward and ashamed about this whole situation.

He looks at you sadly, getting up from his seated position on the floor, you assume he's about to leave, but he slowly gets on the bed, his knees near your stomach as he awkwardly attempts to hug you, you freeze for a moment, knowing how touch adverse he can be at times, before timidly hugging him back, making sure not to touch certain areas that make him uncomfortable.

"You don't have to hug me, I know it makes you-" "It's fine, I wouldn't hug you if I didn't want to." he interrupted, you don't protest after he said that, you two stay like this for a bit before he lets go, he sits up and sighs, hoping that his words comfort you.

"I really care about you, Y/N, I'm sorry I don't visit as much as my brothers, and I'm sorry I came off as cold when I first came over, I just.... Don't know how to approach these things, I'm not the best at words but if you want to talk about it, I'll gladly listen."

You look at him for a few seconds, unsure of if you could even talk about it, but ultimately, you nod.

~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~

After that incident, he's visited you more often, even when you're doing just fine.

He never spoke about your issues to his brothers, and so far, he plans to never speak about it with them until you're comfortable.

It's difficult for both of you, especially if you're also autistic and/or have alexithymia, but with effort from both of you, you made it work.

He's trying his best and you appreciate/love him for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Augh, sorry that the end is more open to interpretation, I wanted people to be able to put their own issues and problems there

Sorry I've been gone for a hot minute; shit's been happening and I'm just.... tired, emotionally and physically

Hopefully I can finish another ask within the next week or so, I already have the idea lined out for one.

[aspd-culture]

But aspd-culture, what "causes" ASPD?

Well, that's hard to say as it is commonly a mix of nature and nurture, and we can't say for sure "this set of things will cause ASPD". I can, however, explain some serious risk factors that, if you relate to them and have this disorder, may have been a part of why you developed it.

TW for heavy topics, as you might have guessed.

Just a heads up that, if you have the disorder, this one is gonna be a rough read. A lot of things that you were told throughout your childhood should be "normal" and maybe that you even thought were helping you are gonna pop up here as things that heavily increase the chances of ASPD, and we're not just talking about abuse and neglect, though of course that is the first one I'm gonna get into because it's the most obvious and well-known risk factor. Do expect some other information you might not have been ready to hear, though.

So the first one, as I said, is maltreatment as a child. This can include many kinds of abuse, including verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, etc. There are some reasons to believe that sexual abuse in particular, especially long-term sexual abuse, significantly increases the chance of developing ASPD.

The next is neglect, which also comes with a significant risk of developing ASPD, especially if the neglect is related to both the emotional and physical needs of a child. If the child experiences neglect in regards to needs such as food, hygiene, shelter, medical care, etc, but does not experience emotional neglect, the risk of developing ASPD appears to be somewhat less than if the child experiences both.

Maltreatment and neglect before the age of 18 months is especially significant when it comes to risk of developing ASPD. Not greeting an infant, not properly showing emotion and "appropriate affect" to an infant, and in particular a lack of attachment from their mother (either due to her literally being absent or just emotionally absent and disconnected) during the first 18 months of life are less commonly thought of forms of neglect that seriously affect secure attachment and increase the risk of ASPD.

The third and last of the "expected" answers to this question is witnessing intimate partner violence during childhood, especially regularly or across multiple partners. This shows the child two things: one is a fear of the aggressor as well a need to tiptoe around someone who should be a secure caregiver to avoid danger, and the second is a disbelief that the victim of the violence is able to protect them from danger, either because they appear weak (children are supposed to believe until a surprising age that their parents are superhero levels of strong and unable to be intimidated or weakened) in the eyes of the child, or because the child does not want to bother them with their issues when they already have their own abuse to deal with. This is especially true in cases where the child successfully controls the violence where the adult cannot (think those kids who use themselves as human shields because the abuser doesn't dare touch the child for various reasons), as it makes them feel they are responsible for protecting both themself and their caregiver, which disrupts normal attachment.

Here's where we get to the less obvious, more specific stuff that can lead to ASPD. There are multiple studies showing that an excess of television (I know, but hear me out bc this isn't about violence on tv), specifically when it is being used as a stand-in parent, significantly increases risk of developing ASPD even when other factors are controlled. As someone with ASPD, I can 100% see how this is valid. I used television to try and understand what normal people were like, and in turn, I experience a weird type of affective "empathy" when shown emotions in the over-acted way that they do on sitcoms, even though I do not experience that empathy when shown normally expressed emotions either on tv or in real life.

It also makes sense to me because generally when TV becomes a stand-in parent, the child is watching other children be cared for in ways that they are not in real life. The child may then be led to believe (as I was) that caring about other people is something made up for TV, since that's the only time they see it. Once the brain develops the understanding of fantasy vs reality, if TV is the only time that a child sees secure attachment styles, loving and attentive caregivers, etc, the brain may falsely place that in the fantasy category. That can lead to the thought processes and attachment issues that are typical of pwASPD, including feeling as though only they can be trusted to look out for themselves, that irl relationships are supposed to be transactional vs emotional, etc. So if you, like I did, attempted to watch sitcoms and such like Full House, Boy Meets World, etc. as a way of understanding what a normal family is supposed to be like or to understand how people are supposed to interact with each other, it is very possible that that was a contributing factor to the development of your ASPD.

Another somewhat surprising one: show of hands on how many pwASPD grew up hearing "it's just a joke", "you have no sense of humor", and "lighten up, we're just teasing you" - either from other kids, caregivers, or both?

Teasing is believed to be another major factor in developing ASPD. Teasing can cause a child to feel insecure, unsafe, and attacked when coming from people the child does not have a secure attachment to, and can decrease chances of the child developing that secure attachment later. This is especially true if the teasing came from caregivers, and of course has a higher chance of affecting the child if they attempt to set boundaries around it and aren't respected in that. This leads to the child feeling attacked by the people they are supposed to go to for comfort, and the more people who tease the child, the more likely the child is to feel unsafe around people as a whole - leading to the mindset that all people are dangerous and that the only person the child can trust is themselves. This teasing also causes self-imposed isolation as a way of feeling secure, which reinforces again that people are inherently unsafe and the only person the child can trust is themself. So if you tried to communicate your distress, discomfort, etc. about being teased and were dismissed, especially by your caregivers, then that significantly increased the chance that you would go on to develop ASPD.

One that is currently debated as to if it is a factor or not is the presence of an overprotective mother, specifically if that over-protectiveness became a point of contention between you two as you became more independent. It's surprising because a major characteristic of children who develop ASPD is independence, and most hold the belief that only they will protect them, but the reasoning is sound imo. The reason for this one, from those who believe it is associated with ASPD, is that when a child goes through the normal process of asserting independence, if they are met with either fear tactics as a form of control or heavy anxiety from their maternal figure, the child learns to be insecure, anxious, and obsessive about protecting themselves because they are being taught that the world is not safe/that they are not capable enough to explore that world. This can lead to an overblown expectation of the danger in the real world and leads to anxiety and distress around outside people. This anxiety and nervousness about the world can lead to the child seeing everyone and everything else as a threat, a mindset that is commonly associated with ASPD. If that anxiety is later disproven (as it inevitably will be unless the child experiences significant trauma - itself a risk factor for ASPD), this causes a rift in the attachment to the caregivers in question, and can make the child distrust their judgement and ability to assess risk, which again affects how safe the child feels with them. This is especially true if the connection to their caregivers is weakened by inconsistency, abuse, neglect, or other factors.

Any inconsistent behavior from caregivers, in fact, is another risk factor for developing ASPD. Children need to be able rely on consistency and routine to feel secure and develop normally. If they are constantly uncertain of how safe they may be with one or both caregivers, they are more likely to learn the idea that the only person they can rely on is themself.

Note that all of this is based on the current scientific understanding of ASPD's development, which deals significantly in both stigmatized and entirely false beliefs about the disorder. However, I focused here on points that made sense to me as someone with it, and did my best to explain how these contribute to ASPD through that lens in addition to the potentially biased medical lens. Our understanding of psychology in general is always changing, but these are some risk factors that are commonly believed at the time of writing to increase the chances of developing ASPD.

Also worth noting is that all of these factors do not need to be present to have ASPD develop. These factors significantly increase the risk of developing ASPD, especially when combined with a genetic component, but I am in no way claiming that you have to have all or even any of these to have ASPD.

I hope this helped you understand this disorder and the people with it a bit better. If you know someone with ASPD, maybe this can help you process why they hold the beliefs they do, and if you have ASPD and feel comfortable, feel free to show or explain some of this to your friends if you think it may help them understand where you're coming from a bit more.

A lot of the stigma, I think, comes from the fact that people don't get what we went through that led our brain to believe our antisocial traits were the best way to protect ourselves. For some, a little more light shed on that subject may be all they need to be more compassionate about it. And if you went into this with a negative outlook on pwASPD, I understand. It's easy in the world we're in to end up with that thought process. I appreciate you reading this far and ask you to read just a bit further to the end.

Try if you can to imagine what it's like to be a kid who has been through more than most adults have in their entire life and gotten so little help that that little child believes no one in the world protects anybody else. Imagine what kind of a world we were picturing growing up in because at the time, that was all we had ever seen. It would be horrifying, right? Even worse than the already pretty sucky world we currently live in. Imagine being a child and thinking that every other kid is going through the same stuff you are at home and handling it so much better. And for some, imagine knowing that some don't or that they get help, but not knowing why your life is different. Would you want to live in that world? Would you be able to keep the innocent, childlike wonder? Would you not be angry and hurt and confused as to why you didn't deserve the help and the life other kids get? Many of us lived thinking that from painfully early ages.

Is it so far-fetched for us to think we needed to protect ourselves if everyone was like the sample size of people we had met? Is it so shocking, then, that our subconscious thought that the traits we have now would be the only way to keep us safe? Is it really that surprising that a child so rarely, if ever shown kindness and empathy, might grow up not knowing how to replicate that for other people?

Most of us looked down the barrel of a proverbial (for some of us, literal) g*n as a toddler to young child, so we put on a vest. How were we supposed to know that other children had never felt that unsafe? How were we supposed to know that someone was supposed to help us when they never did?

Just food for thought. Thanks for reading.

[hail-ey-m]

ѕαιкι кυѕυσ—ανσℓιтιση

Relationship: platonic

!!TW: None!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Y/n,

Hello. I've heard you are lacking some motivation? Well I may not be the most enthusiastic person alive (pun intended), but I'm sure I can help with that.

I, myself, lack motivation at times. Everyone does. You are completely valid and you aren't lazy.

Maybe there is something deeper that's the problem? Regardless, if your experiencing a hard time getting simple things done, such as hygiene, laundry, or just schoolwork, you aren't lazy, you may have depression. I'm no doctor but I do suggest getting it checked out.

In any case, you are loved and appreciated. You do not need to burn yourself out. You should talk to someone you trust, I'm sure they'll understand. If not, you can always come to me.

I am aware I'm not the most comforting person, but I promise to do my best because you are worth it. I hate to see you go through this, and I will do my best to help you.

You aren't alone, and I will always be here for you. I hope this letter finds you well, and helps at least a little.

-Saiki ♡

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

© 2023 Shiggy | All Rights Reserved | No portion of this work may be used or adapted in any way without the author's explicit consent.

[elliotsghost]

Tw:

"i love my mental illness" except for the fact that I irreversibly fucked up my whole life, my future, destroyed myself trying to 'fit in' and now having no control over my life.

I cannot hold a conversation without feelings anxious, thus I have to prepare in my head all the possible response the other person might give me and think in less than a second to what answer I should give them. Over and over for every single conversation I have, no matter with who.

I have no friends; I can count on one hand how many times I've left my house during the whole summer.

I tricked my brain into thinking that I deserve all the pain and suffering I go through and it's not even enough, because people have it worse so I'm not allowed to complain about how I feel. Also, no one cares.

I even make myself worse on purpose, falling again into the addiction of sh, sleepless nights and the need to check how much I eat in a day.

I've been made insecure and now I'm trapped in my own thoughts, I can't wear anything without pointing out things about my body that people might judge. Because there are people who look better than me, who don't have the defects that I have and cannot hide.

This is also why I had to come to the conclusion that I am unlovable, I don't feel any kind of love and can't picture anyone ever experiencing such feelings for me.

To not talk about intrusive thoughts, how I would end up in jail or an asylum where no one would even care to give me the medical assistance that I need, if I ever do as my thoughts say.

Losing hair because of anxiety, I won't pass a hand through my hair because of the fear of seeing more and more hair on my palm each time.

The hate and disgust I feel whenever I remember that I'm being perceived, that I simply exist and the loss I feel inside of me, the hatred I experienced when I'm not acknowledged.

When I just got accepted into university and I could do my dream course but I decided to drop out because the fear of failure was stronger than my will to study. The self-sabotaging all my life, because I don't deserve anything nice to happen to me.

Blaming myself for anything.

The desire to smash my head against any surface so that my brain could just shut up.

Looking at my hands and feeling like a stranger in my own body, trapped underneath the skin. I end up scratching myself or worse to feel like I'm releasing myself into the world.

Costant shit talking about myself any time I do anything, cus I'm not doing it good enough.

Forgetting everything.

Being so unreasonably angry out of nowhere to everything and anyone for no reason at all.

Not recognizing your own body when you look into the mirror.

Feeling like a stranger every day, all the time.

Dissociating anytime I don't fill my brain with hatred thoughts.

Not being able to even get out of the bed some mornings.

The lack of self-care and hygiene, I sometimes go months without brushing my teeth, even showering is so fucking hard that the max I can do is just wash my hair.

Not being able to talk and needing to go non verbal because I'm afraid of anything that could come out of my mouth.

Being jealous of anything that receives more attention than me.

Hiding in plain sight.

Judging each one of my moves.

[bella-goths-wife]

I have your back

Faith x reader x father lost boys

Tw- gore, murder, mentions of religion, sexism

You waited patiently outside the church for faith. You had promised her an opportunity to get out of the house for a while and grab some ice cream. All she had to do was sneak away from her father long enough to have fun, which was becoming increasingly hard these days as he started to get suspicious of her constant nausea and sick bugs.

You sat on the steps and waited for her while your head filled with thoughts of James. You rarely thought about him these days since the incident four month’s ago.

When it first happened, you were broken. You didn’t remember a life before James and his protection. It was the first time you were vulnerable around faith, she made you feel safe emotionally while you protected her physically.

She dragged you out of your depressive episode kicking and screaming. She was there through the lack of hygiene and the constant crying that caused your eyes to look puffy and red. She would make you meals when you refused to eat and would stay with you until you finished every bite. She was your saving grace throughout it all.

Your head rushed with a warm feeling at the thought of the help she had given you. This was the feeling you were used to. It would always come about whenever faith was near. She filled your head and comforted you through your unimaginable pain.

You decided to wait longer than expected, thinking she must be caught up.

You had no idea what scene you would walk into next.

———————————————————————

“I’m feeling quite ill father” faith lies while her fathers back was turned “I think I should walk home”

Her father simply huffed out a laugh which caused faith to freeze in her tracks and turn slowly, keeping her eyes trained on her fathers back in fear. That laugh was never a sound of joy.

“Tell me faith” he says calmly with his back still turned “when did you become such an insolent child?”

“W-what do you mean father” faith squeaks out in fear as he mind goes to you waiting at the entrance, would you save her?

“Well child” faiths father turns around slowly while clutching his cross in his hand tightly “you have been lying to me”

“W-what” faith decides that lying is the only way out of this “I would never”

“But you have” her father yells “repeatedly you have lied to me, your sudden sicknesses were all sinful lies”

Faith just looks down and prepares herself mentally for a beating. Her finger subconsciously rubbing the burn scar on her leg from the hot spoon he had pushed on her a few weeks ago.

“No matter” he signs out calmly before walking towards her “you will overcome this teenage rebellion, I have found you a suitable husband from the congregation”

“What” faith says shocked “who?”

“Johnathan baker is to be your husband come summer” her father says as he looks her up and down and gives her a raised brow as to see what she would do “you will bear him strong boys and you will make up for the abominations you have caused, starting with being born as the weaker sex”

“But father” faith protests “Johnathan is forty five and I’m eighteen”

“Your point girl?” Her father said condescendingly with a raised brow

Faith lowered her head and channeled the courage you had brought into her the last six months of her life. She raised her head with a determined look and brought her eyes to her fathers.

“I won’t do it” faith spits out “I will not marry that man”

“You will shut up and do as your told girl” her father grasped her shoulders and shouted in her face “you ripped your mother open and killed her the day you were born, you will give me a healthy grandson to make up for this atrocity”

“I will not!” Faith yelled back, hurt by her mothers death being spat into her face “you can’t make me, I’m eighteen now you can’t control me anymore”

Her father brings his hand back and hits faith across her face. She falls to the ground and holds her face in pain as her father looked at her with disgust

“I knew this would happen eventually” he sighs out “you make friends with a heathen and you start acting like her, don’t think I don’t know about that little she devil you spend your time with”

Faiths breath hitched at the mention of you, how much did he know?

“You will not see her again” her father continued “you will marry Johnathan and have his children, if you really feel unable to go on without her we’ll get you another pet, perhaps a cat”

Faith felt anger ignite in her blood as he insulted you. You were an angel not a heathen, you were more than a mere animal you were her everything.

Faiths father had his back turned to her while she slowly got up and slowly approached. He continued his rant while she felt her sharp cross digging into the skin of her neck. It was once her mothers and the end was always sharpened, she had guessed it was for her mother to protect herself from what her father had called “dark spirits”. Her brothers had carried similar weapons but she never knew why, he always said it was for his job.

She grasped her cross in her hands and felt her fear slowly leave as she approached.

“If you go near that devils child, I’ll have her stabbed through the heart before you can even blink” her father threatened and faiths blood boiled.

She slowly raised the cross into her hands and brought it down into her fathers turned back. He falls down and scrambled to fight but faith was too quick. She got on top of her father and brought the sharp cross down again and again until his angelic white clothes turned into a devilish red.

Her father gasped out as faith continued to stab, only stopping when he heard his dying mutters.

“Vampires” he muttered out with his dying breath “she’s a vampire”

“I don’t care” faith whispers out as she gives the final blow to the heart before looking down at her work and bloodied hands.

She felt a scream rip away out of her throat at her actions as she covered her eyes with her hands which caused blood to cover her face.

———————————————————————

You ran in at the sound of faiths scream and took in the sight in front of you. Everything was covered in blood as faiths cherished cross laid in the chest of her father. Faith was sat in the floor hysterically switching between crying and laughing.

You got to her and grasped her shoulders in your hands and shook her gently and she only laughed harder.

“Faith” you called out “faith, honey what happened?”

“Your a vampire” she laughed out in your face and your blood ran cold

“No I’m not” you decided honesty would be the only way to get her to calm down “the men who look after me are, what happened faith?”

“He wanted me to marry Johnathan” she switched back to crying in your arms “I’m gonna go to jail, oh god what have I done”

“Faith I’m gonna sort this” you reassured “but you have to snap out of this”

You tried to reason with her but she was out of it so you walked her to the confessional booth and blocked the view of the body while you thought of a solution. Only four people could handle this.

“I’m gonna call my dad faith” you explained to her “they’re gonna help me cover this up, but I have to leave to go to the phone booth”

“No no” faith cried out as she held you close “don’t leave me, please”

“I’ll be right back honey” you reassured calmly “I can’t get the body out by myself, they’re gonna help me”

“They’ll eat me!” Faith cries out with fear

“I won’t let them touch you” you brought your forehead to hers in comfort “I promise”

Faith nodded her head and you headed out to the phone booth to call maxs shop, you knew him and David were having a meeting tonight. You locked the church doors to make sure no one came across faith and the murder.

———————————————————————

As the boys finished cleaning up the mess and burning the body, you sat with faith, who was now in clean clothes, and held her to comfort her. The boys looked at the scene with pity, all except David who saw this as an annoyance.

The boys approached you and Faith quivered in your arms in fear but you gave her a reassuring squeeze as you looked at them with determination

“What now?” Marko asks while looking at your traumatised friend “she got family?”

“Only a brother who lives in another state” you answered “and I wouldn’t let her go with him anyway, the guys an asshole who would beat her like their dad”

“So where’s she gonna go?” Paul asks as he stares at you in oblivion while you turn a pleading look to David

“Please David” you begged “please let her stay with us, she can stay in my room and you won’t even notice her”

“Absolutely not” David says strictly, he doesn’t want an outsider in his home who could take you away from him “she’s not welcome”

“Please David” you pleaded “she has no where else to go”

“Not my problem” David stated “she’s an outsider, your our kid and I won’t have an outsider living with you under our roof”

“She could help us” you cried out in an attempt to reason with him

“How so?” He said sarcastically “unless she’s gonna let us feed from her, she has no worth to us”

Faith went further into your arms at the mention of feeding and you tightened your grip as an idea popped into your head.

“We’ll bring you food” you reason as David pulls a confused look “we’re eighteen year old girls. We can lure parties to the cave with the promise of fun and you can eat them”

David pulls a disgusted look at your suggestion and all the boys follow with protective glances as their sharp nails protruded outwards at the thought of older perverts touching their little girl.

“I will not have my daughter prostituting herself” David yells out in disgust

“I would never sleep with them!” You defended your offer “think of it as takeout, we bring the food to you”

The boys calmed themselves down and considered your offer. After several minutes passed as they communicated through their minds, they shared a look.

“We accept this on the condition that you don’t put yourselves in danger and that the girl doesn’t disturb us” Dwayne agreed calmly while David huffed.

You nodded as the boys went back to cleaning up. Faith turned to look at you.

“Thank you” she whispers gratefully as you bring a hand to her cheek and give her temple a kiss as your fathers had done to comfort you, faith blushed as the action meant more to her.

“I have you back, you have mine right?” You chuckled out as you held her in a meaningful embrace.

The two of you made your way back to the cave and that night the two of you slipped under the covers of your bed and she held you tighter than she had ever held anyone in her life.

She didn’t regret the murder. She would do it all again as long as she could stay in your arms forever.

Hope you enjoyed

Love ya ❤️

[pwincess-charchar]

Ummm TW for just general talk of lack of motivation and talk of hygiene!! Be safe pls

I don’t FEEL very princess like right now.

I’ve been to stuck in my own head to take care of myself. My mouth taste gross and my hair FEELS gross and I’m in pajamas still. It’s so hard to want to take care of myself a lot of the time and idk what to do. I’m stuck between being genuinely convinced I dont deserve to take care of myself vs needing to because the thought of anyone SEEING me like this is to much to bare. I’ve literally been hiding away in my room so no one does. I can’t stay in here forever, but gods do I want too.

Sorry I’m putting this here. But this is very much affecting me the MOST when I’m in Charlie headspace, if that makes sense. Because like I said; I don’t FEEL very princess like right now.