#unable to speak vs unable to express

[unboundprompts]

Hello!!! I hope you don't mind doing this one,

Can you help me write a traumatized person who's having trouble talking because of past trauma? (They can still interact with people, but only with signs and movements, not voice) and also a little anxious

Tell me if you need more details =)

How to Write a Mute / Non-Speaking Character

-> healthline.com

-> verywellhealth.com

-> descriptionary.wordpress.com

Types of Mutism:

selective mutism: having the ability to speak but feeling unable to.

organic mutism: mutism caused by brain injury, such as with drug use or after a stroke.

cerebellar mutism: mutism caused by the removal of a brain tumor from a part of the skull surrounding the cerebellum, which controls coordination and balance.

aphasia: when people find it difficult to speak because of stroke, brain tumor, or head injury.

What Causes Selective Mutism in Adults?

having another anxiety condition, like separation anxiety or social anxiety

experiencing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

having a family history of selective mutism or social anxiety

having fewer opportunities for social contact

having an extremely shy personality

having a speech or language disorder, learning disability, or sensory processing disorder

parent-child enmeshment, or lack of clear boundaries in the relationship

traumatic experiences

Traumatic Mutism vs Trauma-Induced Selective Mutism

if you have traumatic mutism, you may be unable to talk in all situations following a trauma.

with trauma-induced selective mutism, you may find it impossible to talk only in certain situations-- for example, in front of the person who hurt you or in a setting that resembles the circumstances of your trauma.

Different Ways Individuals with Mutism May Choose to Communicate:

Nonverbal Communication: they may rely on facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and body language to convey their thoughts, emotions, and intentions.

Writing or Typing: they may use a pen and paper, digital devices, or communication apps to write messages, notes, or responses.

Sign Language: they can convey meaning, emotions, and engage in complex conversations through hand signs, facial expressions, and body movements.

Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) Devices: these devices provide individuals with a range of tools and technologies to support their communication needs. They can include speech-generating devices, picture boards, apps, or software that allows users to select words, phrases, or symbols to generate spoken or written output.

Communication Boards and Visual Aids: Communication boards or charts with pictures, symbols, or words can assist individuals in conveying their messages.

Assistive Technology: various assistive technologies, such as speech-to-text apps, text-to-speech programs, or eye-tracking devices that aid individuals with communication.

Tips on Writing a Mute / Non-Speaking Character:

Explore the vast array of nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, body language, gestures, and eye contact. Use descriptions to convey their intentions and reactions.

Utilize internal dialogue. Offer readers a window into their internal thought process, and turn their internal dialogue into a narrative that reveals their inner struggles, triumphs, and complexities so that reader can connect with the character.

Establish a communication system that is unique to your character (Sign language, written notes, telepathy in a fantasy setting, etc.). Having a communication system allows your character to interact with other characters and contribute to the narrative.

Surround them with Understanding Characters that can aid in communcation and fostering meaningful relationships.

Establish the Barriers/Conflicts They'll Experience. Don't forget to be realistic.

Your character is not defined by their inability to speak. Make sure you do not write stereotypes and cliches. Being mute is only one aspect of their identity rather than their defining trait.

Do your research! Seek out firsthand accounts, experiences, and perspectives. Check out online forums and resources to gain insights into their unique challenges, adaptations, and strengths.

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.

[utilitycaster]

I can't find the tags where someone said this so apologies for not crediting but they were to the effect of "EXU Divergence is very good and we don't need to compare it to Campaign 3 to point that out" and the thing is, I agree. Speaking only for myself I think my intent is, admittedly, to some extent less about pointing out how good EXU Divergence is and rather using the contrast to back up the point that Bells Hells were often self-absorbed, utterly uninterested and even scornful of any meaningful collective action until maybe the epilogues, and indecisive in a way that felt as though it should have been lethal but somehow wasn't; and that a story where every choice has a terrible clarity and potentially dire consequences is instantly compelling whereas no amount of screen time can save a story where this isn't true.

But also: I think, as many have, and EXU Divergence underscores this, that the attitude the PCs had towards the gods in Campaign 3 not only fails to be backed up by C3 itself but also fails to be backed up literally anywhere else. It's not a subversion; it's an aberration. The ending of Campaign 3 and the beginning of Divergence serve as fairly obvious parallels; the gods becoming mortal and unable to speak to followers (who, in the case of clerics, do still have all their powers, as we see with Lieve'tel and Deanna) vs. the gods departing the material plane. We see how this does not end the fight between Prime and Betrayer nor does it stop their followers from trying to take over (and indeed, we know that the lower Rifenmist peninsula does still ultimately fall, in the long term, to the Strife Emperor loyalist Iron Authority). We also see very directly what faith means to people who cannot under any circumstances be defined as the privileged few; for all I have no taste for trauma Olympics, it is difficult to look at Garen, under tyranny and forced labor for a century, powerless but for a hammer and sheer force of will, express a sense of hope and faith and argue that Bells Hells are simply following the logical path of someone who has suffered. We see the gods expressly state that mortals must care for each other, something which Deanna echoes in one of the strongest scenes in the Campaign 3 finale. We see a gift given without expectation of devotion nor worship nor even understanding, just in gratitude of someone fulfilling a tenet to its utmost. Which is refreshing after a campaign where multiple characters resented gods simply for not favoring them, without ever putting in effort towards this relationship.

I've seen the phrase "in a vacuum" pop up a few times in terms of defense of Campaign 3 in terms of "in a vacuum, I am happy with it", and while I happen to think it fails on many levels even within that airless confine, the fact is, this all is unavoidably part of one canonical overarching narrative. To look at how the gods are portrayed in every single other work - yes, even Downfall, and frankly, even Campaign 3 itself - and to come to the conclusion that Bells Hells acted with the desire for a better and more just world, and not simply a world that favored them more, is, frankly, to ignore every word that did not come from the lips of three or four ignorant people over the course of a decades-long story.

EXU Divergence is very good. I think it would be very good even if it were not coming out during our current political situation, or if it had come out following a radically different and better-executed Campaign 3; that is to say, it would succeed in a vacuum. But I don't think that's a valuable way to assess fictional works, and I think it's a disservice not to consider the canonical Exandria-set Critical Role works in conversation with each other. You can praise Divergence on its own terms, and indeed, you should, but it helps to show specifically how it succeeds (in terms of consequence, in terms of characterization, in terms of worldbuilding consistency) by pointing to how something else has failed.

[chiyuuchu]

Those eyes deceived me <3 (1st August 2024)

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Prompt! Who would have expected a frail looking girl to have an intimidating quirk?

It was the second day of school, and Class 1-A was full of anticipation and excitement. Today was their first battle training session, and everyone was eager to show off their quirks. The class gathered in the observation room, where they would watch the matches through cameras.

Y/N stood quietly to the side, her soft, sweet demeanor making her seem like an angelic presence among her classmates. With her gentle smile and kind eyes, she had quickly earned a reputation as a saint. Many of the students speculated about her quirk, imagining something delicate and innocent—perhaps she had a fairy-like quirk or something related to flowers.

When it was announced that Bakugou Katsuki and Y/N would be paired up for the 2v2 villain vs. hero training, whispers filled the room. Everyone was curious about how Y/N would fare against Bakugou’s explosive power.

As they prepared to enter the training building, Bakugou scoffed, eyeing Y/N skeptically. “Don’t get in my way,” he grumbled.

Y/N nodded, her expression calm and composed. “I’ll do my best.”

The match began, and the class watched intently as Bakugou and Y/N faced off against their opponents. The cameras followed their every move, and the students began to voice their guesses about Y/N’s quirk.

“Maybe she can make flowers grow?” suggested Kaminari.

“Or she has a healing ability,” added Sero.

“I bet it’s something really cute,” Mina said, her eyes sparkling.

As the battle progressed, Bakugou charged ahead with his usual ferocity, blasting through obstacles and taking down the current opponent, Midoriya, with ease. Y/N, however, remained behind, her movements calculated and deliberate. Midoriya managed to land a shocking blow to the blond, hotheaded boy.

“Why isn’t she doing anything?” Kirishima wondered aloud. “Does she even have a quirk?”

Their questions were soon answered. Midoriya managed to get past Bakugou and rushed towards Y/N. She turned to face them, her eyes meeting theirs for a split second.

“I’ll take it from here Bakugou.” Her sweet honey-like voice insisted.

In that moment, a startling transformation occurred. Y/N’s gentle demeanor vanished, replaced by an intimidating and dark presence. Her posture straightened, her movements becoming sharp and precise.

Her eyes turned completely blood red, radiating a terrifying aura. The once innocent expression was taken over by an eerie smile with her aura twisting into void of vileness.

Midoriya opponent froze, his expression turning to one of shock and fear. They were completely petrified, unable to move or speak. Y/N’s quirk, Gorgon Stare, had activated.

“Whoa, what just happened?” Kaminari exclaimed.

Momo’s eyes widened in realization. “Her quirk... She can temporarily petrify anyone who makes direct eye contact with her.”

The class watched in awe as Y/N moved gracefully through the scene. In a swift step, she had taken down Midoriya. Her eyes luring Midoriya to give up and with pure strength, she had lifted him in the air with ease and slammed him down.

The sight of their frozen comrade left Uraraka, who had just rushed in the scene, hesitant and fearful, giving Bakugou, who had just got up, the advantage he needed to secure victory.

“Team D wins!”

When the training session ended, the class was buzzing with amazement. They had completely underestimated Y/N and her quirk.

“She’s incredible,” Jirou said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe we thought she’d have a cute quirk,” Sero added. “That’s terrifying.”

“And who would expect an innocent looking girl to lift and slam Midoriya with ease..” Kaminari shivered.

As Y/N and Bakugou emerged from the building, the class gathered around them, eager to express their admiration. Bakugou, who had been initially skeptical of Y/N, now looked at her with newfound respect.

“Not bad.” he admitted, a rare smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’re tougher than you look.”

Y/N blushed, her sweet smile returning. “Thank you, Bakugou. You were amazing too.”

From that day on, Y/N’s classmates saw her in a new light. She was no longer just the sweet, innocent girl they had first imagined. She was a formidable opponent, and her quirk was one to be reckoned with. And Bakugou, who prided himself on strength and power, found himself growing more respectful of Y/N, seeing her as an equal in their journey to becoming heroes.

And then came the class trip to USJ.

The atmosphere in the USJ was tense as Class 1-A faced their first real threat. Villains had infiltrated the facility, and chaos erupted. Bakugou and Y/N found themselves standing back-to-back, ready to fend off the attackers.

A group of villains emerged from the shadows, their leader sneering as he assessed the pair. “Take out the girl first,” he ordered. “She looks weak. Should be easy.”

Bakugou scoffed, a dangerous grin spreading across his face. “You idiots have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

The villains ignored him and charged toward Y/N. As they approached, her demeanor shifted. Her sweet and innocent expression transformed into one of cold intensity, her body language exuding a dark, intimidating aura. Her eyes turned blood red.

Before the villains could react, Y/N’s Gorgon Stare activated. The first villain met her gaze and immediately froze in place, paralyzed with fear. One by one, the others fell victim to her quirk, their movements halting as they locked eyes with her.

Bakugou took advantage of their stunned state, launching explosive attacks that incapacitated the remaining enemies. “I told you she wasn’t weak,” he growled, smirking as the last villain fell.

The villains lay defeated, their eyes wide with terror and shock. Y/N’s quirk deactivated, and she turned back to Bakugou, her usual sweet smile returning. “Thanks for having my back, Bakugou.”

He nodded, his respect for her growing even more. “You did all the work. They never stood a chance.”

And that one time class 1-A went to rescue Bakugou from the kidnapping.

The night was filled with tension as they launched their daring rescue mission to save Bakugou from the League of Villains. Among the rescuers was Y/N, her usual gentle demeanor masked by a determined expression.

Bakugou was held captive, bound and surrounded by the sinister members of the League. Y/N managed to slip through the chaos, her eyes scanning for Bakugou.

Finally, she spotted him. He was struggling against his restraints, his fierce spirit unbroken despite the situation. The villains guarding him noticed Y/N approaching and sneered.

“Look who’s here to save the day,” one of them taunted. “You think you can take us on, little girl?”

Y/N’s expression hardened, her body language shifting into something dark and intimidating. Her eyes turned blood red as she activated her quirk. “I’m not here to think. I’m here to save him.”

The villains scoffed, underestimating her as usual. But as they moved to attack, Y/N’s Gorgon Stare took effect. One by one, they froze in place, their bodies locked in paralysis. Fear spread among them as they realized they couldn’t move.

Bakugou watched in awe and satisfaction as Y/N systematically took down his captors. Once they were incapacitated, she rushed to his side, quickly working to free him from his restraints.

“Hang on, Bakugou. I’ve got you,” she said, her voice filled with determination.

Bakugou grunted, his pride slightly bruised but his gratitude clear. “Took you long enough. Nice work.”

As soon as Bakugou was free, he wasted no time joining the fray, his explosive power turning the tide of the battle. Y/N stayed close, using her quirk to protect him and take down any villains who dared to approach.

When the dust finally settled, the League of Villains was defeated, and the heroes had won. Bakugou and Y/N stood side by side, breathing heavily but victorious.

“Thanks, Y/N,” Bakugou said, his tone gruff but sincere. “You really came through.”

Y/N’s eyes returned to their normal color, and she gave him a gentle smile. “I couldn’t leave you behind. We’re a team, remember?”

Bakugou nodded, his respect for her solidified even further. “Yeah, we are. And you’re one hell of a teammate.”

And the time when everyone thought there was an intruder at the dorms.

It was late at night in the Class 1-A dorms, and the Bakugou Squad—comprising Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, Mina, and Y/N—was gathered in the common area. They had just finished a late-night study session when a strange noise echoed through the hallways.

Kaminari’s eyes widened in alarm. “Did you guys hear that?”

Sero nodded, his face pale. “Yeah, it sounded like it came from downstairs.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes but stood up, ready to investigate. “Probably just Deku being an idiot again. But let’s check it out.”

Kirishima, ever the supportive friend, clapped Bakugou on the back. “Yeah, but we should be careful. What if it’s an intruder?”

The group exchanged nervous glances. Mina, who had been quietly listening, turned to Y/N with a mischievous grin. “Y/N, you should go first. Your quirk can paralyze anyone, so you’re our best bet.”

Y/N blinked, then sighed with a smile. “Alright, I’ll go first.”

With Y/N leading the way, the squad cautiously made their way down the dark hallway, their footsteps echoing in the silence. Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina clung close behind her, while Bakugou brought up the rear, grumbling about the situation.

“Why am I even dealing with this?” Bakugou muttered. “We all have quirks. Why should we be afraid?”

“Never underestimate your opponent,” Kirishima reminded him.

They reached the common room downstairs, where the noise had seemed to originate. Y/N pushed open the door, her eyes turning a blood red as she activated her quirk, ready for anything.

The room was dark, the only light coming from the moon filtering through the windows. They heard a rustling noise coming from the kitchen. Y/N stepped forward, her intimidating presence causing the others to take a step back.

“Who’s there?” Y/N called out, her voice steady.

There was a moment of silence, and then a familiar, tired voice replied. “It’s just me.”

The lights flickered on, revealing Aizawa standing in front of the refrigerator, a mug of coffee in his hand.

The squad collectively sighed in relief. Bakugou threw his hands up in exasperation. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

Kaminari laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “Well, at least it wasn’t an intruder.”

Y/N’s eyes returned to their normal color as she smiled apologetically at Aizawa. “Sorry about that, Mr. Aizawa. We thought you were an intruder.”

Aizawa took a sip of his coffee, unfazed. “Im just here to drop somethings off. But you should always be prepared anyways, never underestimate your opponent.”

Mina giggled, nudging Y/N. “Guess we did alright, then.”

Bakugou shook his head, a reluctant grin tugging at his lips. “You owe us! And you,” he said, turning to Y/N, “nice work leading the charge. Even if it was just our tired teacher.”

The group laughed, the tension dissipating as they made their way back to their rooms. Y/N, walking beside Bakugou, couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, at least we know I’m useful for midnight raids.”

Bakugou smirked. “You’re useful for more than that. But next time, we let Kirishima go first.”

The Bakusquad—Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero—was hanging out in their usual spot after a grueling training session. The girls - Mina and y/n went on a matcha latte run to the shop. They were lounging around, catching their breaths and discussing the day’s events.

“Man, that training was rough,” Kirishima said, wiping sweat from his brow. “But Bakugou, you were on fire today!”

Bakugou grunted, trying to downplay it. “Yeah, yeah. Just doing what I do.”

Kaminari, ever the observant one, noticed something unusual. “Hey, Bakugou, you’ve been pretty mellow around Y/N lately. You don’t usually let anyone get under your skin like that.”

Bakugou’s face turned red with irritation. “What are you talking about? I’m not—”

Sero, grinning mischievously, chimed in. “Oh, come on. We’ve seen you. You get all weird when she’s around. You’ve got a soft spot for her, don’t you?”

Bakugou scowled, crossing his arms. “I do not! It’s just—she’s always getting in my way.”

Kirishima raised an eyebrow. “Sure, Bakugou. And I suppose that’s why you always stick up for her during training, right?”

Bakugou’s scowl deepened, but he remained silent.

Kaminari leaned in, grinning. “Maybe Bakugou’s scared of her. You know, because she has that scary quirk. I mean, it’s like she’s got this aura of intimidation that’s even got you rattled.”

Sero laughed, nudging Kaminari. “Or maybe he’s just secretly into her. I’ve seen the way he looks at her. It’s like he’s trying to play it cool, but he’s got it bad.”

Kirishima looked thoughtful. “You know, now that you mention it, he does seem a little more… concerned when she’s around. Like when she was injured during that last fight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so worked up.”

Bakugou turned redder by the second, his frustration evident. “You guys are ridiculous. I don’t have any soft spot for Y/N. I just… respect her, okay?”

Kaminari and Sero exchanged knowing glances, clearly unconvinced. Kirishima chuckled. “Sure, Bakugou. Whatever you say.”

As the conversation continued, Bakugou’s grumbling only confirmed their suspicions. It was clear to the Bakusquad that their friend’s feelings for Y/N went beyond mere admiration. Whether he was scared of her quirk or genuinely had a soft spot for her, they were convinced that Bakugou’s tough exterior was hiding something much softer beneath.

And that one time Todoroki had a ‘misconception’.

Todoroki was lounging outside, enjoying a rare break from his rigorous training schedule. As he idly watched Y/N practice her quirk, he noticed something peculiar. Her ability to paralyze people with a mere stare had always seemed impressive, but today, something clicked in his mind.

He glanced over at Aizawa, who was giving Y/N pointers with his usual unenthusiastic demeanor. Todoroki’s eyes widened as a theory formed in his mind, one that he couldn't shake.

“Huh,” Todoroki muttered to himself. “Y/N’s quirk... it’s kind of like Aizawa’s, isn’t it?”

He pondered further, his eyes darting between Y/N and Aizawa. “Could it be...?”

Suddenly, a lightbulb seemed to go off in Todoroki’s head. He furrowed his brow in serious contemplation. “What if… Y/N is Aizawa’s secret love child?”

He imagined the scenario in his head: Aizawa, in a rare moment of weakness, falling for someone who had an equally intense quirk. In his mind, he pictured a dramatic scene where Aizawa had a hidden romance that resulted in Y/N—a perfect mix of her mother’s grace and Aizawa’s formidable powers.

Todoroki’s thoughts were interrupted by Kirishima, who had joined him on the bench. Kirishima looked puzzled at Todoroki’s intense expression. “Hey, Todoroki, you alright? You look like you’re deep in thought.”

Todoroki, still lost in his theory, responded without looking away from Y/N and Aizawa. “Kirishima, do you think Aizawa could have a secret love child?”

Kirishima blinked, confused. “Uh, what? Like, with Y/N?”

Todoroki nodded vigorously. “Think about it. Her quirk is so similar to his. It’s practically a match!”

Kirishima chuckled, shaking his head. “Dude, I think you’ve been training too hard. Y/N’s quirk is unique to her, and Aizawa’s got his own thing going on.”

Just then, Y/N turned and caught Todoroki’s eye, smiling warmly. Todoroki’s face turned bright red, and he suddenly felt very self-conscious.

“Never mind,” Todoroki mumbled, deciding that some theories were better left unspoken. “I’m just... overthinking things.”

Kirishima laughed, clapping Todoroki on the back. “Welcome to the world of U.A. rumors, man. They’ll drive you nuts if you let them!”

As Todoroki tried to push his overactive imagination aside, he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, he’d been a little too caught up in his own head. But the thought of Aizawa’s secret love child made him chuckle, even if it was all just in his head.

A week later..

In the common room, Y/N and some of her classmates were lounging and chatting after a long day of training. The conversation had drifted to Aizawa and how he seemed to be unusually lenient with Y/N compared to the other students.

Mina, who had been particularly curious, leaned forward with a mischievous grin. “Hey, Y/N, we’ve been wondering. Why does Aizawa seem to go a little easier on you than the rest of us? Is there a special reason?”

Y/N looked up from her book, a casual smile on her face. “Oh, that? Well, Aizawa’s actually my uncle.”

The room fell silent for a moment as the realization sank in. The other girls stared at Y/N in wide-eyed shock.

“You’re kidding!” Uraraka exclaimed.

Y/N shook her head, still smiling. “Nope. He’s my mom’s brother. I guess it just means he’s a little softer on me.”

The girls burst into excited chatter, their surprise evident. Kirishima, who had been listening in on the conversation from the doorway, walked in with Todoroki by his side. Todoroki’s expression was unusually serious as he glanced at Kirishima.

Todoroki’s voice was blunt but calm. “Kirishima, pay up.”

Kirishima looked at Todoroki, puzzled. “What? Why?”

Todoroki didn’t break his serious gaze. “I made a bet that Y/N was related to Aizawa. You owe me.”

Kirishima’s face fell as he groaned, reaching into his pocket. “Aw, man. I really thought I had it wrong.”

Y/N, overhearing the exchange, chuckled. “Looks like Todoroki had the right idea. I guess you owe him a coffee or something.”

Kirishima handed Todoroki the agreed-upon amount with a resigned sigh. “Fine, fine. You win this round.”

As the girls continued to chatter about the newfound family connection, Todoroki smirked slightly, feeling satisfied with his victory. Kirishima shook his head, amused by the turn of events.

“Well, this is one way to find out about family secrets,” Kirishima said with a laugh, taking a seat with the rest of the group. “Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bet on the next revelation.”

Y/N smiled at the lively discussion, glad to have her family connection out in the open.

And there was just one more mystery.

The girls' were all gathered in Y/n’s room for a girls night. The room was bustling with chatter as they all sat around, some with snacks and others with textbooks. Jirou, Tsu, Uraraka, Hagakure, Mina and Momo were chatting animatedly while Y/n had excused herself from the room. Then Mina noticed something odd.

Mina pointed towards Y/N’s shelf. “Hey, has anyone else noticed all those bouquets in Y/N’s room lately?”

Momo nodded, her curiosity piqued. “Yes! It seems like there’s a new one every other day. I wonder who’s sending them.”

The other girls looked at each other, speculating. “Maybe it’s a secret admirer?” Hagakure suggested.

“Or perhaps a fan of hers,” Uraraka chimed in.

At that moment, Y/N walked into the room, carrying a fresh bouquet and placing it carefully on her desk. She noticed the curious stares from her friends and chuckled.

Mina couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer. “Y/N, we’ve been dying to know. Who keeps sending you these beautiful bouquets?”

Y/N looked at them with a nonchalant smile. “Oh, that’s just Bakugou.”

The girls stared at her in shock. “Bakugou? Really?”

Y/N nodded, still smiling. “Yeah. He’s been sending them pretty regularly. I guess he’s just… thoughtful in his own way.”

The room erupted into excited whispers and giggles as the girls tried to process the revelation.

“No way!” Mina exclaimed. “I never would have guessed.”

Momo looked impressed. “He must really have a soft spot for you.”

Y/N shrugged, her smile widening. “He’s surprisingly sweet sometimes.”

The girls continued to buzz with excitement, their imaginations running wild with the idea of Bakugou’s softer side. Y/N, meanwhile, enjoyed the light-hearted teasing and the newfound appreciation for Bakugou’s thoughtful gestures.

[toto-the-cactus]

Thoughts about Guilimans daughter (who I have named Olyssia Guiliman) being the little baby sister to the ultramarine. Adorable. Now picture adult Olyssia, the Lady of Macragge being the elder sister. Olyssia seeing Ultramarines, so long lives to the baselines, but still so quickly gone to she who has lived millenia.

I'll be frank here, I pulled this short thing out of my ass at 3am so hope this actually gives you some fun when comparing old astartes regarding Roboute's daughter vs 40k astartes regarding Roboute's daughter. Not a lot, but I had fun writing it.

-°-

Titus had heard about the Lady of Macragge during his years as a Neophyte.

Most astartes do after undergoing the gene-seed implantation, but it was usually mentioned in reverence the same way one did with a Primarch’s name during the preachings. Before any of that, the primaris had never even seen a sculpture or portrait of the Lady.

To see her in person alongside her father, their Father, was quite an experience he had yet to express properly; mind still unable to believe that he is in their presence while inside the one place in the Macragge’s Honour that just a handful of firstborn astartes were allowed into: The Resting Home of the Legion Mother.

The fact that he had been brought here by Calgar himself was the one thing that kept Titus in check to not kneel rushedly in front of his Primarch and trueborn like just some initiated marine; this was a place of peace and quiet that needed to be respected and more specially when both husband and daughter mourned the prone body of the woman inside the stasis field that kept her life in a limbo.

“My Lord” saluted Calgar but once his eye strayed to the Lady, his expression softened in a way that caught Demetrius by surprise. “Hello, little one” he said this time with a tender influx. Nothing like the hardened Chapter Master that the primaris had come to know.

“Hi, Calgar” answered the young woman with obvious strain in her tone and a few traces of tears on her face.

It had been said in the past that when the Lady of Macragge always visited her mother’s sleeping form, crying could be heard from the outside. One thing was hearing the serfs mentioning such a fact but another abysmal thing to see it become true. He had heard the fates this woman, the granddaughter of the Emperor, had achieved during her years leading the Ultramarines after the Heresy.

To see her reduced like this by the grief was… humbling and strange.

“To what I own this interruption, Calgar?” asked the Primarch impatiently. Eyes never leaving the face of his wife as if he hoped to see a change in her peaceful expression.

With that question, both Guilliman and Marneus went a bit far to speak privately from them. Leaving Titus and the Lady alone.

This couldn’t be more awkward.

Demetrian still had to wrap his head around how the Chapter Master simply greeted the young woman with a familiarity that floored him. As if her status as trueborn was merely a decoration extending from her.

“You’re Demetrian Titus, right?”

At her soft voice, the primaris finally dared to look at the Lady to her eyes. She was practically a carbon copy of the Primarch, but her baseline genetics did a good job to smooth the rough edges.

“That is correct, my Lady” he answered the same he would when regarded by a superior. “It’s an honor to even be let inside this sacred room, my Lady. I feel humbled that you know my name too”

“It’s the minimum I can do as my father’s daughter… I always try to remember the names of the astartes that Big Brother Calgar always mentions more than once”

Titus, again, has to do a double take at the familiarity the Lady refers to someone like the Chapter Master.

Where he looks up at her in both reverence and curiosity, those that have lived before the Heresy had known the Lady of Macragge when still a child of bright eyes.

-°-

Titus when Olyssia knew his name the very first time they met:

[fujii-draws]

Okay. Dusknoir and Celebi knowing eachother way before even Grovyle and Ribbons. Let me yap for a second. (Prev talk here)

-Celebi found him as a Duskull— who was very cold and paranoid, insistent on going it alone despite his rugged interior (and exterior). But seeing as Celebi is also the Champion of Lying to herself when she Clearly needs help, she insists on going with him regardless. Framing it initially as wanting to mess with the decently sized ghost-type, but actually instead just getting to know the guy bc hey. She sees a bit of herself in him.

-She learns very quickly that he’s a newly formed ghost-type and admittedly has no idea what to do. Especially in a world as cold and harsh as the future. Celebi tries her best to explain everything, including Duskull’s somewhat immortal state— which earns her a very speechless stare from him.

-He… begrudgingly agrees to go along with her. And for the first time, she and Duskull actually have a companion in the future. (The fact he doesn’t gawk at her in awe and speaks to Celebi like any other regular Pokémon does help a lot with this. She hates being treated differently.) She teaches him how to float (although not doing the old man trapped inside a pre-evolution’s body any favors by teasing his amateur skills.) And the two have very differing opinions on their long life spans. How it was a blessing in disguise to Duskull. How it was a curse to Celebi.

-Later on Duskull evolves, potentially from saving Celebi in a rough situation after seeing his only friend ally nearly getting clobbered. (Maybe a parallel to how Grovyle evolves protecting Ribbons?)

-Their friendship goes from Silly vs Overly Serious— to Dusclops actually humoring Celebi with some clapback of his own and enjoying her company/Celebi willing to be just a slightest bit Vulnerable with Dusclops. (This won’t bite her in the future. Just being open and honest with the one Pokémon who’s actually understood her to an extent/doesn’t marvel at her over her different coloring or status as a mythical.)

-He gave her the teal jabot around her neck. She gave him his reaper cloak.

-Speaking of Grovyle and Ribbons, the two make plans to meet up with Celebi alone. (Which Dusclops insists he goes with her, merely to spectate as he technically didn’t need to protect Celebi from harm if this was a potential ambush. She’s capable. He’s only there to watch. Nothing more.)

-Once they do, Dusclops and Celebi are very surprised to see this Grovyle had a human with him. And very young one at that. The Woodland gecko explains his plan to potentially save the future, leaving out a very important detail purposely for the sake of getting them on board. Desperate for the Time traveling fairy’s help.

-…Celebi catches onto Grovyle’s plan and what would happen in that exact moment. Staring at him with a blank expression. She looks back at Dusclops, recalling her previous conversations regarding their extended lifespans. And how fearful he was of the end. Hesitant to answer, but agrees. Shaking the claws of the grass-type (even as Dusclops suspiciously stared at him from behind).

-And, of course, her decision to not omit the detail of their disappearances to Dusclops causes a rift to form between the two. Starting off slow as their conversations fell apart more easier. Or when she’d been unable to maintain eye contact with the ghost for too long. (Which made it Even More painful when she could see the hurt in his eye everytime she did— before he’d replaced it with a look of understanding)(and frustration the longer it went on.)

-…Until their inevitable fallout. Realizing what saving the future actually meant for them in an argument with Grovyle back at their base. (Which Ribbons thankfully didn’t hear.) Looking at Celebi, waiting for her to side with him and cast Grovyle out. Or better yet, get rid of him before he went on with his insane plan.

…Only to see her look away. Letting out a hushed “You knew?” in disbelief, anger, and betrayal all mixed into those two words he uttered.

-He rushes off. And the next time he comes back, he’s a fully evolved Dusknoir. With a flurry of Sableye and Primal Dialga behind him. Glaring daggers at Celebi.

-While Grovyle and Ribbons are having their whole adventure in the present, Dusknoir and Celebi’s dynamic heavily changes. They still banter and clapback with one another. But the only difference this time being that it was a front for both Pokémon to mask how truly betrayed they felt by the other. And this time, he’s genuinely trying to kill her. (Not that he can catch her. She taught him how to float in the first place.)

-When Ribbons, Grovyle, and this strange new riolu come to her in the future, she’s still very fakely happy and peppy. Until Grovyle brings up any mentions of Dusknoir, where her entire demeanor drops on a dime. (Ribbons and Aimilios look even more unnerved seeing the pink bubblegum fairy look like she’s about to rip Grovyle’s head off mentioning that traitor than they did nearly getting killed by him.)

-EP5 that one interaction with her going from calling him a coward one moment, to shouting at Dialga to get the hell away from him? Yeah.

-I think while Grovyle and Dusknoir might have a few scuffles and glares post EP5, they make up much faster than him and Celebi. She looks ready to smash his head over with a rock while simultaneously checking and nagging over his injuries.

-Communication is extremely hard because these two are the least honest Pokémon in the future and Grass-continent. (Grovyle being overly-honest helped with their mended relationship and navigate feelings easier.) But Celebi? Dusknoir would have a much easier time trying to decipher an old, undiscovered language than this woman’s insistence that she was alright with his presence.

-call me cheesy af but potentially. Celebi cupping Dusknoir’s large face and big spooning for this hopeless ghost who yearns for their mended relationship. His oldest friendship.

-I’ve already gotten into the whole immortality thing w/ those two outliving Grovyle/Ribbons/Aimilios But. They would be there for eachother.

-also also Celebi being able to see this new Dusk who isn’t paranoid and cranky all the time but actually developed social skills and a suave, debonair persona that she actually enjoys. (She can still turn him back into a blubbering mess easily though.)(He is smitten with that old woman.)

That’s all I’ve got for now. I might add on if more stuff comes to me but I think their banter/dynamic would be so much fun.

[room-surprise]

IS LAIOS A FURRY? AN ANALYSIS.

(Laios imagining himself transforming into a wolf in Marcille's mindscape.)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ENTIRE MANGA! This is an excerpt and elaboration from The Essay about cultural and linguistic references in Dungeon Meshi)

WHAT IS A FURRY?

The furry fandom is a subculture interested in anthropomorphic animal characters. Some examples of anthropomorphic attributes can include human intelligence and facial expressions, speaking, walking on two legs, and wearing clothes, but not all of these traits must be present at the same time. Warrior Cats, The Lion King, Zootopia and Sonic the Hedgehog all have huge furry fandoms, to give a few examples.

Many furry fans feel a deep connection to these characters and desire to “become” one through designing their fantasy alter-egos (a furry persona, or fursona), making artwork, role-playing, and if they can afford it, building and wearing costumes called fursuits that allow them to dress up as their fursona in real life.

(Laios' ultimate monster design, you could argue this is his fursona that he's been dreaming about, and refining since childhood.)

Ryoko Kui self-identified as a furry on her blog a long time ago, saying that she “was a furry in high school.” I’ve been unable to track down the original artwork or blog post that states this in order to cite it properly, but I think by looking at Kui’s extensive history, interest, and skill in drawing animals, monsters, and anthropomorphic characters, one can clearly see the “furry” influence.

She has a very clear interest in the intersection between humans and animals, several of her characters are furry characters, and a lot of her work appeals strongly to furry fans in ways that work made by non-furries often does not. She even makes an extremely specific joke about the Japanese furry subculture in a comic about Lycion and Laios arguing about authenticity, which I will get to in a moment.

But whether or not Kui has ever considered herself a furry, I think it’s safe to say that she’s on the internet enough that she must be aware of the subculture, and so it’s possible that she wrote Laios with that in mind.

Laios’ intense desire to become a monster, the way he repeatedly fantasizes about being a dog or wolf, his fascination with all animals (but especially monsters), his skill at drawing animals (and lack of skill in drawing people, or anything else), his interest in becoming a beast-man, and his desire to visit a kobold country because they look like dog-people, all paint a very vivid picture of his interests, and his experiences match up astonishingly well with the experiences of many people who identify as furries.

Western fans often call Laios as a “furry,” or a “monster fucker” mostly as a joke, however I think this should be taken as seriously as interpreting him as asexual or autistic, which are other labels fandom commonly applies to him in a more serious manner… And, incidentally, there is a great deal of overlap between the autistic, asexual and furry communities, so if Laios is one of these things, it’s also very possible that he’s some of the others, too… Even if Kui didn’t intend it, and simply modeled Laios after “some people she’s known” without realizing they were furries, autistic, or asexual, or any combination of the three. This happens frequently in fiction.

I think the most accurate broad labels for Laios would be “therian” and “monster fetishist,” because I believe these two terms encompass the canonical behavior we see from him in the manga and extra materials in a way that I think “furry” and “monster fucker” do not.

JAPANESE FURRY FANDOM: KEMONO VS. KEMONOMIMI

Japanese furries use the terms kemonā (ケモナー) to describe themselves, or kemono (ケモノ) to describe the characters they create and love. Both words mean “furry,” as in, covered in fur.

In the What-If comic where Lycion and Laios meet, Laios awkwardly says that Lycion isn’t a real furry because turning into a beast-man didn’t change him into a wolf on the inside.

“Isn’t that just like wearing a pair of animal ears on a headband and saying you’re a beast-man?” Laios asks, to which Lycion derisively tells Laios that he is just a “beast-man wannabe” or “poseur.”

This is a direct reference to one of the major conflicts in the Japanese Kemono fandom: are characters who are mostly human, but have animal ears and tails really kemono, or do they not count? The general consensus in the fandom is that ears and tail alone are insufficient; these characters are called kemonomimi, literally “beast ears”, like the headband Laios references. Most “cat-girl” characters fall into this category.

A real kemono character includes a muzzle instead of a normal human face and/or an animal-like appearance on the body surface, such as fur, scales, or feathers. According to researcher Inokuchi Tomohiro, this is due to the recognition that "disconnection from humans" is a crucial factor that distinguishes between kemono and non-kemono. He then defines kemono as "an animal that is depicted as a non-human being, but with the potential for mutual understanding/communication with humans.”

By this definition, Izutsumi in Dungeon Meshi is a kemono (furry) and not a kemonomimi (cat-girl), since her body is covered in fur, and she doesn’t have human breasts, but a more beast-like torso. The Winged Lion, the Goat, Kuro the kobold, and possibly the orcs are all kemono (anthropomorphic animal) characters as well.

IS LAIOS A THERIAN?

Though the terminology is very modern, and wouldn’t exist in the Dungeon Meshi setting, it’s possible that if Laios existed in the modern world he might identify as a type of Otherkin known as a Therian. Otherkin and Therians are sometimes part of the Furry fandom, but the two subcultures do not overlap completely.

Otherkin are a subculture of people who identify as nonhuman. Some Otherkin believe their identity derives from spiritual phenomena (such as possessing a nonhuman soul, reincarnation, or the will of God), ancestry, symbolism, or metaphor. Others attribute it to unusual psychology or neurodivergence and do not hold spiritual beliefs on the subject.

Therian refers to people who identify specifically as a real animal of the natural world. The species of animal a therian identifies as is called a theriotype. Therians mainly attribute their experiences of therianthropy to either spirituality or psychology, and often use the term "species dysphoria" to describe their feelings of disconnect from their human bodies and their underlying desire to live as their theriotype. The identity "trans species" is used by some.

Therians may seek out opportunities to perform species-affirming acts like wearing costumes, adopting animal-like behaviors such as making species-specific noises, eating species-specific foods, or moving/performing actions that their theriotype would do.

For example, someone with a horse theriotype may experience joy from snorting and neighing, pulling a cart, stomping their feet, or having a vegetarian diet. Someone with a shark theriotype may want to swim every chance they get, or enjoy eating a lot of raw fish. They may have special accessories they like to wear that make them feel connected to their theriotype, like animal ears on a headband, an actual animal’s tail or a symbolic tail hanging from their belt, an animal tooth necklace, or even just a t-shirt that has an image of their theriotype on it.

In Laios’ case, we know that he likes to imagine himself as a wolf, and in the real world he enjoys/is proud of his ability to bark and move like a dog. He’s practiced and performed this dog impression so often and so well that Falin thinks it’s his most noteworthy and amazing skill. He clearly holds hunting dogs in high esteem and admires them, and says that he learned many important life lessons from spending time with them. He enjoys playing with leftovers from monsters they kill (bones, skin, seeds, fur, etc.) and sometimes tries to collect them for either practical or sentimental reasons… And at the end of the manga he takes the pelt of his ultimate monster form and chooses to wear it as a cape, something that he continues to do for the rest of his life, possibly just because he likes to wear it, or because wearing it eases the pain of no longer being the ultimate monster.

It’s also possible that he’s only wearing it because he thinks it is a pragmatic, politically expedient move, but I think Kui very clearly communicates to us that Laios likes his monster cape, and it is the one thing he immediately thinks of when he wants to try and be king “on his own terms.” He’s willing to accept being king… if he can wear his monster cape. Whether or not it’s a good idea to wear it is secondary to the fact that he wants to do it.

Otherkin and Therian are of course both modern names for this phenomenon, but the concept of people strongly identifying with and being fascinated by animals is as old as humankind itself, so it isn’t impossible that Laios may feel this way, since so much of his behavior overlaps with things a Therian might do or feel.

MONSTER FETISHISM

In English, the word fetish originally described an object believed to have supernatural powers. Fetishes are often used in a spiritual or religious context. However, over time the word fetish has been used so frequently as a euphemism to describe a type of unconventional sexual interest that “sexual fetish” has become the primary meaning of “fetish” in English.

Fetishism is a sexual fixation on an activity, inanimate object, living thing, or human body part that is not normally involved in sex. The object of this interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object is a fetishist. The current medical consensus is that sexual fetishes are very common, and as long as they do not negatively impact a person’s life, they are harmless.

Like the English word fetish, the Japanese word 趣味 (shumi), has multiple meanings, such as “hobby”, “interests/tastes”, but it is also used euphemistically to refer to “sexual taste, vice, or fetish.” What meaning is intended must be intuited by the context surrounding the word. I believe the other words used to discuss fetishes are the loan words フェティッシュ (fetisshu) or フェチ (fechi), but these are extremely blunt and direct, and shumi is preferred in situations where polite euphemism, ambiguity or plausible deniability is desired, or is perhaps even necessary in order to make a joke.

Shumi is used throughout Dungeon Meshi to describe various people’s interests, including Laios’ interest in monsters.

Meanwhile Namari’s interest in race-specific weapons and gear is never explicitly identified as shumi as far as I’m aware, but she is called 武器マニア (weapon maniac) in the World Guide, and in the Bicorn chapter, Chilchuck labels her as 武具フェチ (armor/weapon fetishist), and uses the English loan word フェチ (fechi) which is very unambiguously “fetish.”

(The official English translation from Yen Press changed this to “armor fiend.”)

It seems odd to me that Namari’s interest in weapons and gear is identified by most readers (though not Yen Press) as a fetish, but Laios’ interest in monsters isn’t always, when their behavior around their special interest is shown to be the same in the manga:

Both Namari and Laios blush while talking about their respective interests, and get embarrassed and/or excited about the subject. In the post-canon comics, Laios blushes, hides his face, and has to be prodded to confess to Yaad, Kabru and Marcille that he wants to have his body eaten by monsters when he dies. He obviously finds the idea embarrassing and titillating somehow, and is too shy to admit it out loud until they force him to do it. He also blushes on several other occasions in the manga while thinking or talking about monsters.

I think this is because having a “weapons fetish” is normalized: many people have a fetish for weapons or armor and find it sexy. However the idea of a monster fetish makes people uncomfortable because in a story were monsters exist and are a type of animal, they assume Laios having a monster fetish must mean he wants to participate in bestiality.

This is not necessarily true. A fetish of this nature can (and most often does, for reasons of morality and safety) exist entirely in the realm of imagination, and the sexual fixation may not even involve the act of having sex with the fetish object.

WHAT IS A MONSTER FETISH?

In a world where monsters exist, a monster fetish could involve a sexual interest in the sight, smell, sound and feeling of a monster (looking at or creating artwork of monsters, observing monsters in the wild, wearing a monster costume, or owning monster pelts or body parts that can be safely touched, smelled, etc.), the experience of hunting monsters, eating monsters, the fantasy of being a monster, or the fantasy of performing sexual acts with or as a monster.

The fantasy element could be Laios simply wanting to be a monster, and that giving him sexual gratification without any further scenario being necessary, or it could be imagining himself as a human having sex with a monster, imagining himself as a monster having sex with another monster, or imagining himself as a monster having sex with a human.

All of these possible scenarios would fit under the “monster fetish” umbrella. We know Laios canonically does at least six out of these eight things, but we don’t know whether or not he derives sexual pleasure from them… However, we do know that talking or thinking about monsters makes Laios blush in a way that interacting with other human beings does not, and blushing is often a sign of intense emotion or sexual arousal. Kui’s meaning is intentionally ambiguous, but both meanings should be acknowledged: Laios might be emotionally excited, or he might be sexually excited and Kui is leaving it up to us to decide which it is.

This is, specifically, why I think “monster fucker” isn’t an accurate label. We don’t have enough evidence to assume Laios wants to have sex with monsters, or for monsters to have sex with him. All we can tell is that he becomes excited by the subject of monsters, and often times it is specifically the idea of eating them or being eaten by them that gets him the most excited.

VORAREPHILIA

Because so much of Laios' interest in monsters revolves around eating them and being eaten by them, and Dungeon Meshi's plot revolves around the very concept of eating and being eaten, let me make a brief side-bar to discuss the extremely popular, but niche furry sub-culture of vorarephilia.

Vorarephilia is often used as the butt of jokes on the internet, and very poorly understood by most people, so I felt taking a moment to explain it would be beneficial. Most people are probably not even aware that a fetish like this exists, and therefore aren't able to identify that the things Laios is interested in are something he shares with an entire subculture of real people.

Vorarephilia is a fetish that revolves around the fantasy of devouring or being devoured by another person or creature. The prey can either be swallowed whole and alive, or killed and then eaten... But the former is vastly more popular, and most fetishists imagine themselves as the prey, not the predator.

The fantasy of being eaten or eating someone else is just an extreme form of power exchange. Since vore is an impossible fetish in the real world, it exists entirely as artwork, writing, or verbal role play.

Like in most sex practices, the majority of people want to be the submissive partner, and have someone else do the work of pleasing them. You could compare the "predator" in a vorarephilia roleplay session to a "dom" and the "prey" to a "sub" in BDSM. Incidentally, most predators identify as women, and the vast majority of prey identify as men.

Kui's personal work seems to involve some themes that are similar to vorarephillic art.

And Dungeon Meshi features a lot of content which appeals to vorarephiles.

Meanwhile, the many tiny Laioses being eaten by the Ultimate Monster is a classic example of Macro/Micro, another niche furry sub-culture that sometimes overlaps with vore... A giant monster eating mouthful after mouthful of tiny humans is a classic theme.

The vore fandom is extremely diverse, some of them are furries, others are not, and the exact element of devouring and being devoured that appeals to every one of them can be totally different.

What the demon does to Mithrun and Thistle, and Laios does to the demon, is specifically a fetish called "soul vore", where someone's personhood/soul/awareness is eaten and (usually) destroyed by the predator via some kind of "digestion"... Often while the prey is conscious and aware of the process.

For many, the fear and pain the prey experiences while dying is essential to their enjoyment... And remember, most people want to imagine themselves as the prey!

The art on these pages is indistinguishable from things you would pay thousands of dollars for if you hired a furry artist to draw them.

It's also very important to note that on the other end of the spectrum, some vore fantasies revolve around the prey wanting to be loved by someone so much that they would devour them completely, so that they can absorb the prey and keep them with them forever.

Sometimes it's about wanting to become part of something greater that the prey admires or idealizes… the way Laios admires monsters. He explicitly states that when he dies, he wants to become a part of the food chain… While blushing furiously.

And although it isn't about Laios, I think it's important to note that Mithrun's desire was for the demon to finish eating him. A key part of his depression is the fact that he felt he wasn't good enough to consume, that the demon didn't love him enough to want to eat all of him.

I won't go further into vore or macro/micro, because I want to keep this post as simple as possible, and it's already quite long... But if one wanted to dig even deeper into what specifically Laios' interests are, beyond the very broad umbrella of "monster fetishism", I think vorarephelia would be worth considering.

DO OTHER CHARACTERS THINK LAIOS HAS A FETISH?

Characters frequently notice that Laios gets very excited when he’s talking about monsters: he talks louder and faster, his pupils dilate, he blushes, and he forgets what he’s doing, where he is, and what the appropriate behavior for his situation is. This behavior almost universally causes other characters to react with intense scorn, disgust and disapproval.

I don’t think it makes sense for everyone in the manga to react as negatively as they do to Laios’ behavior unless they think there is something off-putting, unsavory, or creepy about it. Their reactions mean they must think Laios’ interest isn’t innocent. It isn’t just a hobby, but of course none of them will say this explicitly, it would be much too direct and rude, and also it wouldn’t be funny if they started accusing Laios of wanting to participate in something as horrible as bestiality.

Part of the joke Kui is frequently making is that nobody says what they’re thinking out loud. For example, at the end of the manga, Kabru gives Laios a disgusted look and warns him to “not talk about your hobby (shumi)” while addressing the participants of the feast. I think we can intuit that hobby/shumi in this instance is probably meant as a euphemism for fetish, otherwise why would Kabru have such a disgusted look on his face? If he just meant hobby, his expression would probably be much more relaxed. Shumi being a euphemism is the joke.

Another example is the fact that Chilchuck frequently calls Laios a psychopath, sick in the head, etc. Those are extremely harsh things to say if he thinks Laios has a completely innocent interest in monsters. He doesn’t call Senshi a psychopath, even though Senshi is equally interested in eating monsters… Because Senshi doesn’t engage in any of the other, suspect behavior that Laios does. Senshi’s interest in monsters is perceived as innocent, while Laios’ is not.

For clarity’s sake: I am not arguing that Laios’ interest in monsters is canonically a sexual fetish, I am only arguing that there is evidence that it is, and that other characters in the story perceive it to be a sexual fetish, whether it actually is or not.

DOES LAIOS THINK HE HAS A FETISH?

People who have fetishes, especially extreme fetishes that are not normalized, often try to hide them. They do this out of fear of social disapproval, and feelings of shame, because they feel guilty for having abnormal desires. This is true even though the majority of fetishes are completely harmless, and morally neutral.

Most people also know that things which provoke sexual excitement are supposed to be kept private, and it’s not acceptable to express those feelings in public spaces, so even if they see something related to their fetish while in public, they will repress their sexual feelings about it.

Laios, who has difficulty understanding social rules and nuance, is aware that his interest in monsters is socially unacceptable, even though there are many other social things he is not aware of.

Laios has spent most of his life hiding his interest in monsters as much as he can, and it is only during the events of the manga that he starts to express himself openly, because his monster knowledge has become useful for their survival, because Senshi encourages him, and because Falin isn’t there to act as a social buffer for him.

But Laios knows people won’t approve, he knows something about his interest in monsters and the way he expresses it will cause people to react negatively, like in the post-canon comic where he doesn’t want to tell his friends about his desire for his corpse to be eaten by monsters, and the part of the finale where he is hiding in the woods, too ashamed to let people see him because they now know that his greatest desire was to become a monster, and not reviving Falin, which he thinks is the "correct" desire that he should have had.

(This of course ignores the fact that the desires the demon preys on are unconscious, and cannot be controlled by the victim.)

This likely means that Laios has encountered negative reactions to his interest in monsters so frequently, and they have been so intensely negative, that it has trained him to conceal his feelings. It is one of the social rules that he has learned.

Laios thinks there is something shameful, wrong, and inappropriate about his desires related to monsters so he thinks it is something he needs to hide.

IS ANIMAL/MONSTER FETISHISM ANACHRONISTIC?

Some may feel that being a furry, a monster fucker or a monster fetishist is something only modern people do, and therefore anachronistic for Dungeon Meshi’s setting. However humans have been admiring, dressing up as and pretending to be animals for rituals (including fertility rituals) since the dawn of civilization, and continue to do so in the modern era every time someone dresses up in a “sexy cat” costume for Halloween, or wears a multi-thousand dollar fursuit to a furry convention.

There are many instances throughout history of people wearing pelts, masks and tails in order to “become” animals, poetry and art of people fantasizing about either becoming a beast/monster (modern werewolf erotica), or having a beast/monster ravish them (the many, many times artists choose to depict Zeus turning into an animal to have sex with women), or coming of age rites that involve animal sacrifice and the adoption of an animal-like persona as part of the process of becoming an adult.

The stigmatization of this behavior, where “sexy cat costume” is normal and “fursuit” is weird, most likely originates from the disappearance of religious and social context for it. In the past, the admiration, imitation and idealization of animals by humans was part of many cultures, but the modern dominance of religions that forbid the worship of anything other than one, immaterial god has left no room for such things, and so society can only view it as the deranged behavior of abnormal people, who have something “wrong” with them, rather than a harmless, common human impulse to admire, fantasize about, and imagine themselves as animals.

[animehouse-moe]

Questions Of Love In Bucchigiri!?

Hiroko Utsumi is no stranger to distilling homoeroticism into their works, but Bucchigiri!? is able to take it a step further as it intertwines with the hypermasculine idea of fighting and gangs. Because of that, Bucchigiri!? poses two questions to the definition of love and how people experience it.

"What is love versus lust?"

Truthfully, it's a rather simple question to answer (at least to someone outside of high school). The point being the depth of feeling. Lust is strong but shallow, while love moves much deeper.

And the second episode in particular expresses this very strongly through the two gang leaders, Marito and Ken.

They don't feel any way in particular about Arajin until they feel their punch. After that, like Marito says, they just can't forget about it. That's all they know about this kid, "his" punch. And that's all they want from him as well.

The point is to express superficial lust towards Arajin because of something they only experience one single time. They believe that they want the strength behind the person no matter what because of a single moment.

And it's a great comparison to make against Matakara's feelings for Arajin.

Matakara doesn't need to feel "Arajin's" strength to know how he feels about him. On the contrary, he only ever needed to fight (really train) beside him to come to understand that emotion. Even more than that is Matakara's understanding of Arajin outside of fights, and he focuses in specifically on Arajin's passivity and carefulness.

Because of that, you can begin to draw the conclusion that "Lust" is represented by actions involving violence and action, while "Love" stems more from passivity and aversion in this context. Which I think is really really great. It's sort a sort of symbolic explanation of the whole point of violence being boorish and shallow while other communication is deeper and more valuable.

"How much is love worth if they don't love you for who you are?"

Super easy example here with this one. Just look at the Love Forever stone Arajin gives Mahoro vs the friendship one that he gave Matakara.

The whole point is that Arajin's love in the hands of someone who doesn't love him isn't valuable at all, nor is it valuable in the hands of someone that doesn't love him for who he is.

Marito and Ken can only feel something for Arajin because of the strength channeled through him by Senya. It's something entirely foreign to Arajin as a person, and represents both how shallow the gang leaders are, but also how shallow Arajin is.

Loving yourself is something that's tricky to do, and obviously especially so for high school kids. I think it's well understood at this point that Arajin struggles to love himself in a meaningful way, and that's expressed by his willingness to take on Senya.

Case and point being that he intentionally used Senya's strength to try and make himself look good in front of Mahoro, and in the same way used it against Ken to the same effect.

He's afraid of being and accepting himself, so he's allowed something else to speak for him. And while that catches the eye of many, including Matakara, Arajin himself already knows that it's nothing more than a farce to save face.

It's just... really great work in terms of narrative as it bundles so many different aspects of love together to create this complicated web that all stems from Arajin's inability to love himself. Matakara loves the current Arajin, but that Arajin is unable to face himself so he runs from the reflection that Matakara offers and buries himself in lust and unrequited romance.

And that all just comes from high school kids duking it out for fun alongside mystical fighting people that can merge with humans.

It's definitely a step up the symbolic ladder in comparison to Sk8 The Infinity, but I think it's allowed Utsumi to express much more in terms of romance through implicit narratives.

These first two episodes have been incredible, and I'm loving every moment and want to share every bit, but the overall production effort Mappa's been putting in leaves me in an awkward spot for sharing stuff like this.

I really love to, and I want to celebrate the efforts of the staff behind the series, but Mappa rains on that parade with its terrible scheduling and work ethic. The credits are a veritable mess that make episodes like this an incredible feat. And I'll celebrate that and share what I want to, but I do also want to call out Mappa for their terrible work as a studio.

[theeternalwomb]

wounded feminine energy vs wounded masculine energy:

Wounded feminine will struggle primarily with feelings of unworthiness that will present itself in a lot of different ways but wounded feminine energy may include things like:

issues with control and manipulation : stepping outside of her feminine energy and her home energy of recieving and trying to push and pull things into fruition or to go in the direction she sees fit and often for personal gain. This may present in her relationships with others, manipulating her friends, manipulating her partners, manipulating strangers. May be dishonest, deceitful, or deceptive.

low self worth & self esteem: she’s unable to make good decisions on who she chooses to be around and what she allows, may fall into a habit of people pleasing, may struggle with internalized misogyny, may be boy crazy or blow her entire life up for male validation or male presence, may constantly speak negatively upon herself and upon others. May victimize herself often or be prone to feeling “sorry” for herself, may also be heavily emotionally unstable or consumed by her emotions to the point where she’s constantly at high points of emotional distress. She has no boundaries, she’s desperate for love, she’s obsessive in a way where it comes from a place of lack or a void.

Vindictive,bitter, and jealous: falls right in hand with low self worth and self esteem, projecting all her fears and jealousy onto others especially other women. Always out to get someone, always picking on someone, always attempting to humiliate or tear someone apart.

over-giving: falls right into people pleasing but a feminine who may be over giving may not know how to or be unable to protect her energy, her power, her divinity and her “soft feminine”, she may become over-giving, over nurturing, overly empathetic to the point where she pours too much of herself (from a raw and authentic pool of her energy) into others. this comes hand in hand with my post about a feminine needing a divine counterpart who is conducive to her energy and is safe and giving so that when she’s in her most vulnerable state her energy won’t go to waste.

Shame and guilt: ashamed of her body, ashamed of her sensuality, ashamed of her femininity, ashamed of what it takes to protect herself from others, guilty for putting herself first, guilty for being in her power, guilty for recieving what she rightfully deserves, etc. etc. falls hand in hand with what I spoke about briefly about how purity culture and certain aspects of culture and life may supress one’s feminine nature and identity and ability to connect with self.

Consumed by emotions: she’s angry, she’s aggressive, she’s emotionally consumed or disturbed, she’s violent, always fighting people, doesn’t have effective problem solving or communication skills outside of violence or conflict. Is always involved in conflict, is always involved in drama, befriends people with the intention of constantly being in the center of an issue or being aware of an issue, nosy and cunning. If she’s jealous and bitter she expresses it heavily.

***

Wounded masculine will struggle primarily with how he sees himself, honoring his heart space, and what it means to be masculine or a man. This is not a new issue, it’s as old as time, wounded masculine may exude behaviors like:

overly competitive and combative: masculine may have a tendency to try to out compete others, regardless of sex or gender. He competes with women, he competes with men. He used envy and insecurity to fuel these urges to compete with others. He wants to be the biggest all the time, he wants to be the most successful, the most important, the most looked at, etc. etc. there’s nothing wrong with these desires when they come from a place of self love and growth, there is an issue when they come from the ego and his desire is to push others out of their rightful place or consume the energy of others to make himself larger. Or he needs to be right and he’s argumentative. He may be prone to having narcissistic traits or a narcissistic personality type, he may have an inflated ego or sense of importance. Constant inner and outer conflict, he’s displeased with himself, he’s displeased with what there’s, he’s always fighting, always arguing, always involved in some sort of altercation.

Abusive and angry: he has a tendency to communicate with physical violence or is unable to solve problems effectively. He has a desire to hurt others to make himself feel stronger or more powerful or feel validated and respected. Constant inner and outer conflict, he’s displeased with himself, he’s displeased with what there’s, he’s always fighting, always arguing, always involved in some sort of altercation.

controlling and/or possessive: controlling in plenty of areas, in his relationships, in career, in life. Reflects a masculine whose not confident in his ability to be loved and admired, not confident in his ability to make a difference or take action that will push things forward or into fruition in a genuine and meaningful manner. A possessive masculine is a masculine who has a strong desire to consume things rather than enjoy them and allow them to flourish. Especially in his relationships, he may attempt to “squash” his partner, keep them from stepping into their power, keep them from doing well, he may have a tendency to view his partners and counterparts as objects to be had or to be owned rather than to be appreciated or as an energy that is complimentary and adds to his value or divinity. This goes hand and hand with what I spoke about briefly about men in relationships with successful women who try to trap them with pregnancy at the height of their careers or try to minimize their success. He’s overly critical of others and overly critical of himself on an internal level. May be prone to picking up misogynistic tendencies and views, he picks on women, he degrades them, he feels the need to tell them what to do and what’s acceptable.

Manipulative: again. A masculine who doesn’t think he’s truly capable of making an impact, a masculine who doesn’t believe he’s capable of truly being loved or doesn’t believe he has enough value to be stayed with in his relationships. A masculine who may have a tendency to see others as below him or as pawns.

over-preforming or overcompensating: am i man enough? Am I doing enough? Will they look at me or admire me enough? He tries too hard to be “masculine”, is afraid to stray away from masculine stereotypes, bullies and takes out aggression towards men who don’t fit the mold that he’s been conditioned to believe is what masculinity or being a real man looks like. Leads him to being controlling, resentful, aggressive and violent in a lot of cases. Resents others who live in their truth and live authentically despite judgment and rejection, tries to squash or push down others who go against what he’s been conditioned to believe is right or wrong, ends up pushing people away or ruining a lot of his relationships and his connections because he’s unable to find the courage to be who he is from an authentic stand point and he’s angry because he always feels like he has to preform and conform. And bro is definitely the lgbtq police and the “that’s gay asf” guy in the back who nobody asked an opinion from. He’s overly critical of others and overly critical of himself on an internal level. May be prone to picking up misogynistic tendencies and views, he picks on women, he degrades them, he feels the need to tell them what to do and what’s acceptable.

Unable to feel emotions/disconnected from self: unable to communicate and communicate effectively, he doesn’t understand himself and therefore can’t understand others, has a tendency to resort to anger or shutting down or running from things when he’s feeling triggered or being coaxed out of his shelf or is required to open up and be vulnerable. He’s guarded and closed off, he’s defensive, he struggles with an avoidant attatchment style, he’s afraid of being seen, he’s afraid of true intimacy, he’s afraid of being perceived in general and perceived as being soft or emotional. He doesn’t want to talk about his feelings because he’s conditioned not to and it’s difficult. He’s stagnant, he’s unable to grow, he’s unable to learn hard emotional lessons. Repressed his feminine energy or actively represses it and this goes hand and hand with overcompensating and over preforming.

Unstable: unstable, unsupportive, unsafe physically and emotionally. He can’t create a safe space for you, for others, or himself emotionally or physically and he will not.

[system-of-a-feather]

I think there is a lot of an issue with gatekeeping and term policing around terms expressing an individual's ability to use certain words around verbality and a lot of implied hierarchy of speaking-issues needs within the CDD community particularly. I fully understand the issues with verbal and semi-verbal people taking up the space and making it hard to find resources for non-verbal people; but I do think rhetoric, method of discussion, discourse, and advocacy has more or less created this pressure of "are you speaking-impaired enough" and "my struggle is real and yours is 'just' a trauma side effect" sort of underlying subtext in how a lot of these discussions are handled.

I think the discussion on the usage of words like non-verbal and semi-verbal is incredibly important, especially for a community that is so frequently Literally Talked Over; but I also think we need to be mindful of not making this into something invalidating of systems and parts that have significant speaking issues.

Yes it is different to be a part that can not speak with parts that can speak than it is to be a person who can never speak no matter what.

Yes those experiences are absolutely different, but parts who can not speak in a system / whole that can still have significant struggles and experiences in life that can be shared with individuals with speaking issues / non-verbal and semi-verbal individuals.

Those parts are not immune from experiencing discrimination in a verbal and speaking world and treating parts that are not able to speak in a system that is like "verbal people choosing to be unable to speak" or "verbal people with no idea what it is like to have significant issues speaking" is both very invalidating and not productive to the discussion of challenges individual who are unreliably-speaking and have speaking issues face in a largely verbal society.

I personally don't care too much about the verbage itself nor do I really know my place in the discussion, particularly in the imposed hierarchy as a system with parts that can speak, but with a large majority of our parts that are unable to speak and/or have signficiant speaking issues + Language Processing Disorder + Autism.

I was just expressing the challenges I as a part have with being motivated to allow people to perceive me and for me, as a part, to attend therapy is the expectation to be verbal and the immediate judgement that people make and assume when I can't speak. Me and our side system's experience of navigating a world that expects us to speak is not the experiences of a fully verbal individual.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think we should stop talking about verbality in relation to CDD systems as a "verbal vs not verbal" and more as a spectrum of individuals with speaking issues and I also think we should stop minimizing the struggles of individuals with selective mutism and/or treating those individuals like they are "basically verbal."

[deadpoetsandlivinglegends]

Only exactly one homie expressed anything bout my tags(screenshots cause I feel bad overrunning ops original post a second time) and although it didn’t even specify any actual feelings or say it wanted me to expand, I wanna talk about this more so I’m gonna take that as enough of a reason to blab more about this

Cause like bro Neil took so much shit from his father, and although we saw a pattern of him starting to be disobedient (quitting the newspaper at the beginnning vs going behind his fathers back to be in the play), but throughout the movie I would say throughout all of it, he still had some sense of hope, albeit his father not listening despite his hope. I would say that the reason Neil could get through all those rejections is because he would turn to others. The first time, with newspaper, he was with the boys and they in some sense urged him to talk about it and met him in a conversation when his father didn’t. The second time, we see when his father is upset, the first thing he does is go to Keating and talk to him. That’s two times Neil disobeys his father before immediately turning around and talking to someone about it, though he fails to connect with his father because his father, although occasionally trying to smooth it over and connect with Neil so Neil will empathize with him (comment about his mother, and comment about how Neil has opportunities he didn’t have), his father doesn’t realize that for true connection to be made, both parties must willingly listen to the other. But still, his father’s rejection works as a means for Neil to connect with others. The last time, when his father catches him at the play, Neil is dragged out without being able to talk to anyone, without his connections. He tries to talk with his father, but the first thing his father does is say he is going to pull him out of Welton. His father in one fell swoop breaks off every connection Neil has while also refusing to connect with Neil despite Neil reaching out and pleading time and time again. Before the scene ends, after his father walks out, just like before we see Neil reach out to form a connection, this time with his mother. He is unable to form that connection though because when he tries to talk about it, his mother changes the subject, thus his final failed connection (“I was good. I was really good” “go on, get some sleep”). He feels truly alone now, which is why he is hopeless enough that his very next act, the only option he feels he has left, is to end his own life.

There are two others who lose their connections I want to discuss: Cameron and Charlie. Foils who succumb, in some sense, to the same fate despite being the opposite of one another. Both their connections with the group fail but for different reasons. Throughout the movie Charlie fails in his connections because he refuses to listen to others. Throughout the movie, Cameron fails in his connections because others refuse to listen to him. But also despite the repeated fails at connection by both boys throughout, by the end it is through their own hand (literally) they both once and for all destroy their connections and end up alone, ironically within the same scene (Cameron through signing the document and Charlie through getting expelled for punching Cameron). And I would say they both play a hand in the other’s destruction because they are so intricately interwoven that it’s hard to discuss one without the other. Charlie goes behind the poets backs, bringing girls to the cave without asking first and printing the article without their permission under the club’s name, which is the start of his downfall as well as the start of the downfall of the entire club. He was ‘choking on the bone’ because he didn’t understand Carpe Diem isn’t about action, but about connection. His not communicating with the poets and speaking on behalf of the whole group without listening not only brings unwanted attention to the club, causing intergroup conflict and threatening the whole group’s existence, but also it allows the administration to have a scapegoat when Neil dies. Where Charlie is the one to bring light to the group, but refuses to out the members of the group in the end, Cameron does the opposite. Cameron kept the sacredness of the group, trying to connect with the poets and listen to them, only for them to make fun of him when he opens up and try to push him away. Cameron wasn’t the one who exposed the group itself, but he is the first one to give in after Neil’s death, telling the administration about who is in the club and signing the paper, cutting off his connections. It is fitting that Charlie and Cameron’s stories end at the same time, at the hands of one another. Both of their interconnected stories end with them becoming isolated, which we see illustrated within the end of the movie. We see every poet except these two and Neil stand at the end, because every other poet was able to form connections through Keating’s lessons (Knox takes Chris to the play where they have a good time together thus connecting, Meeks and Pitts got a radio to work which is a physical symbol of them forming connections together without having to be as involved in an already story heavy movie, and Todd we all know from the tags above). The three poets who lose their connections are the ones who cannot participate in the final scene, the final message-driving act of the movie that states we do not stand alone.

Like the whole point of the movie is that the only way we get through life is by connecting with other, why do you think the key poem they bring up is a Walt Whitman poem about Abraham Lincoln? The poem is about the grief over the loss of the leader of the country, who guided America through tough times. Walt Whitman used the poem to connect the country over the loss of their president and allow the grief to become a shared means of connection. As much as dead poets society is about learning to deal with grief and keep on living life despite grief, it is also about searching for connections as a key means to survive and overcome grief. That is why Oh Captain, My Captain was chosen. It is a poem about grief meant to connect people and make them feel less alone through their shared sorrow over the loss of a beloved figure who guided his people through tough times and led the good fight. And we see that same principle, the people who didn’t form connections could not make it through to the end, but those who did did so because they stood together. We don’t even need to just connect with people around us now, the focus on poetry and art is to connect us to the past as well as the present. In fact, it states the past is a means to connect people in the present. They sit in the theater together, the audience connecting with one another over a play written hundreds of years ago. They read poetry in the cave, poetry written by people from the last 5 centuries, so they can open up with one another and form connections, even writing and sharing their own poetry with one another. This whole movie revolves around these few principles and I can’t man it’s like so nicely put together and I think that is why this movie has stood the test of time so well, it knows what it wants to say about our relationships with one another and it makes sure every action taken is to say it.

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 4

WHEN I TELL YA’LL I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE WITH THIS SHOW!

It’s giving me so many things I wanna talk about and scream about and I WILL but I wanna talk about the expressions first because they were once again excellent. Peat officially sits at Poom Phuripan’s “I love everything you do with your face” table.

The two most dejected, disappointed men on the whole island. They’re about to be parted and they both hate it so much they can’t even speak for a few moments. (There’s something else I started to notice happening here too but that’s for another time)

Being sad isn’t going to stop Mut from teasing and Tongrak from getting annoyed, but just look at these two faces. We went from annoyance to looking like the saddest kitten ever in seconds as soon as Mut mentioned saying goodbye. Forget not wanting to say goodbye upset, Tongrak doesn’t want to say it at all.

If I saw Mut make this face after saying “I’m used to it” after I was unable to keep a promise I made to him, I would do everything I could to stay with him.

And so would Tongrak, which is why he tried again to make it work as soon as he saw it because he took that promise seriously. It was at this moment that he resolved to never disappoint this man ever.

Curiously amused with a sprinkle of hope, to sad, to putting on a brave resigned face. All within microseconds of each other to personally devastating effect.

I’m really starting to lament my lack of gif making talent. I would gif every frame of this scene if I could. I would also hit my image limit immediately if I included every face I loved in this scene so I’m moving on but! I had to include this face because it’s the face of a someone who won’t say he’s in love but who ALSO won’t let go of his menace of a man come hell or high water. Pero he’s not in love.

Sure, Jan.

Actual literal angel vs. “tell me I can’t, I dare you” vs. just-got-smacked-in-the-head levels of shock. Poetic cinema.

I loved watching Tongrak watch Mut to see what he’ll do now that they’re in a different environment. He really is so patient in such an interesting way. He’ll watch, but only for a little bit. When a boundary is so much as approached, he steps in and says something. He doesn’t baby Mut but there is very much a line in the sand for him where Mut is concerned and he doesn’t allow it to be crossed.

I see you seriously thinking about stairway s*x, Tongrak, you can’t get things by me.

We’ve arrived at the line in the sand event horizon. Although Tongrak is very patient, he does lose his patience a couple of times with Mook but he doesn’t ever raise his voice at her. He just makes a face in his vein and firmly but gently reestablishes boundaries.

Mut has been a sugar baby for less than 24 hours but already he has the expression of a man who knows he has pride of place.

Also Mook, my dear frazzled girly, if you clutch those pearls any harder your fingers are going to cramp.

We had already passed the patience event horizon when this face happened so I actually did think for a second that Tongrak was going to snap at her. He didn’t quite, he just stopped her with her full name, but to me this is the closest he got all episode.

“What are you going to do next?” Mook asked. “Eat a canary,” this expression replied.

I look at Mut like this, too.

A menace. An entire fucking menace, I want him carnally.

So does Tongrak. B*reback on the stairs.

He pictured it and had to dial back into the conversation lmao

Another moment of waiting and watching. Tongrak was about to go shower, heard what he thought could turn into Mook saying something that crossed the line to Mut, and stopped to wait and see where the conversation went before he actually went upstairs. He will not allow anyone to be nasty to his sugar baby.

*sings ‘I Won’t Say I’m in Love’ under my breath*

Throughout this whole contract scene, you can see Mut get hit with…I don’t think it’s a full bucket of cold water, but certainly a splash. I’m sure part of him thought that getting swept off to Bangkok would be more romantic and less business-like but I don’t personally read this as disappointment, although it easily could be read that way.

To me he has the expression of someone who’s had all the cards laid out in front of him, has read them, and is currently reworking his perception but who still absolutely knows what he’s about. This man has not been deterred by this contract.

A face that very clearly says, “oh I like you”. Sorry, Mook, Vivi cannot help you because she plans to help Mut win her best friend over instead.

And Mut likes Vivi too! I hope they become menace besties. Pour one out for Mook now because they aren't gonna let her rest.

Again, it would be very easy to read this as resigned disappointment and I think Tongrak does at first. I think he even wonders if he was too harsh about not believing in love but really, all Mut is doing is doubling down in his mind before he does so out loud.

One of these two men does not yet understand what they just signed up for, and it sure as hell ain’t Mahasamut.

I finally hit the picture limit but the rest of the episode is just Vivi and Mook shopping so it’s fine. This show is a feast and I am not done talking about it by a MILE.

[elliethefroggy]

Roy Kent: Minder Extraordinaire

Chapter 10: Roy Kent VS The Voices of Reason

Roy's kidnappers leave Roy no choice but to listen to them.

Ch9, (on ao3)

He doesn’t make it easy for his kidnappers. He kicks and punches as best he can, managing to land a hit on some of the fuckers if the whimpered curses are anything to go by. He shouts all manner of threats of bodily violence to them and their families, both immediate and extended. But still they carry him further and further into the building.

He is dropped on a chair as he informs them in detail exactly what he’ll do to their first cousins once removed if they don’t let him go. Before he can punch anyone else or start on what he’ll do to their second cousins, a dozen hands grab onto his arms and legs and tie them to the chair.

The bag is ripped from his head.

Bright light invades his pupils. He squeezes his eyes shut, the light dancing behind his eyelids, before opening them to squint at his surroundings.

The room is dark other than one bright light bulb pointed directly at his face. He unable to see any semblance of human shapes in the shadows. But he knows they’re there, standing just outside of the light, the exertion of having dragged Roy here making their breaths heavy, giving them away.

It doesn’t take a genius to realise where he is. Roy can recognize the putrid smell of the boot room, even if he can’t fucking see it. No matter how many scented candles or Febreze canisters Nate uses, the smell remains.

He pulls at the ropes binding him to the chair, straining his muscles as best he can, but whoever did the knots must have been some fucking boy scout because there is no wiggle room to speak of.

“If you fuckers don’t untie me right now,” Roy shouts, “I’m going to eviscerate each and everyone one of you, then strangle you with your own intestines, before acquiring some pigs just so I can feed you to them!”

A booming voice from the shadows speaks up, “You have been summoned to answer for your behavior and to insure the keeping of the peace.”

Fucking Isaac.

“What the fuck are you idiots playing at?” He asks the shadow also known as Isaac.

The shadow/Isaac steps into the light, “Answer our questions to our satisfaction and you shall be unshackled,” Isaac says.

When Roy sees what Isaac’s wearing, he wishes he still had that bag over his head.

An acid green trench coat paired with a bright orange deer stalker hat. Sunglasses inside, like a dick. To tie off the outfit, a bedazzled smoking pipe in one hand and a fucking magnifying glass of all things in the other.

“My compatriots and I will get to the bottom of this mystery whether you like it or not,” Isaac continues, “but your full cooperation would be appreciated to resolve this situa—”

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Roy interrupts him, because some things—such as that colour combination—take precedent over being tied to a chair.

“Do you like it?” Isaac asks, breaking into a grin, grabbing the lapels of his acid green trench coat and doing a half-twirl.

“No.”

“Oh,” Isaac frowns, his brow deepening, grin gone. Isaac takes a deep breath before smoothing out his expression, putting himself back together. “As I was saying, we are gathered here today—”

“Did you get dressed in the dark?” Roy asks, because that is the only possible explanation for that colour combination. This is why Roy always sticks with black; can’t go wrong with black.

“Too far, mate.” Isaac looks down at him, unimpressed and a little hurt.

Roy chooses not to care about Isaac’s feelings because he’s currently tied to a chair.

“As I was saying,” Isaac repeats.

“And what the fuck is up with the pipe?”

“Come on, man!” Isaac stomps his foot on the ground like a child instead of the fully grown tank of a footballer that he is.

“It’s about Jamie,” Sam, sweet sensible Sam, says, stepping out of the darkness. Sweet, sensible Sam who’s meant to be better than this nonsense.

“Sam! You’re meant to stay in the shadows,” Isaac whines.

Sam sends Isaac an apologetic smile. Sam does not send one to Roy even though Roy is the one tied to a chair against his will.

Fucking traitor.

“What the fuck does Jamie have to do with this?” Roy asks, even though he doesn’t want to think about Jamie right now. Doesn’t want to think about Jamie driving away, leaving Roy standing there in the car park, alone.

“We’re just concerned,” Sam starts.

“Wait, is this some sort of fucking interrogation?” Roy interrupts him.

“No,” Isaac says, “it’s an intervention.”

“It’s for your own good,” someone who sounds suspiciously like Colin whispers from the shadows.

Isaac turns towards the darkness and shushes the whisperer/Colin.

“Sorry,” the whisperer whispers.

Roy looks into the darkness, tries to spot Colin so that he can glare at him too, but that is made impossible by the one singular light.

“Would you lot just switch the rest of the fucking lights on?” Roy asks, “My eyesight doesn’t do so well with darkness anymore.”

Sam switches the lights on.

Isaac switches them off.

“You’re ruining the vibe,” Isaac whines.

“But the Captain asked.” Sam switches the lights back on.

Isaac switches them off.

“Isaac,” Roy says, “I swear to fuck if you don’t switch those lights back on…” Roy leaves the threat hanging.

“Yes, Captain,” Isaac says, chastised.

The lights turn back on indefinitely.

Seated in the centre of the boot room, he looks around to all the muppets surrounding him. Some look concerned, others are wearing frowns, a good handful are looking at him with eyes narrowed in suspicion. But excluding Jamie, every single member of the team is squashed into the small boot room, both fist and second team, all starring at him intently.

“Now, Roy,” Sam says soothingly like he’s trying to calm down some rabid animal, “All we want to do is help.”

“What did you do to Jamie?” Colin shouts, pointing accusingly at him

“We want answers and we want them now!” Moe raises his own finger to point at him.

“Did you break him?” Jeff asks, though with enough decorum to not point his own finger at Roy.

Next things Roy know, he’s got over two dozen footballers pointing fingers and yelling at him.

“Quiet!” Isaac shouts.

Everyone silences. All accusing fingers are lowered.

“Now, Roy,” Isaac says, “We have noticed some tension between you and Jamie today. Care to explain?”

“There’s no tension. We’re fine,” Roy lies.

No one looks like they believe him.

“Why am I the one being tied to a chair and not Jamie?” Roy asks, desperately trying to deflect.

“We tried that already. Jamie doesn't want to talk about it either, just said it was a small misunderstanding,” Jeff says.

“See? Nothing’s wrong. We’re fine,” Roy repeats, wondering how many times he’s going to have to say that today.

“Listen, mate, this is a safe space,” Isaac says, “We want to help. All we know is that the both of you are behaving fucking weirdly. You’re both acting all sad and quiet and shit.”

“Bullshit,” Roy says.

“You didn’t growl or grunt nearly as much as usual,” Zoreaux says.

Roy growls just to be contrary.

“Your frowning has been more pronounced today,” Richard says.

Roy feels his frown deepen even more.

“Even Jamie was frowning today,” O’Brien says.

“Which is very odd because Jamie has stated multiple times that he wants to put off old people wrinkles for as long as possible,” Dani adds.

“And he was so polite today; it was weird.” Colin says, “He didn’t once insult my locker room rendition of Mamma Mia.”

Which even Roy could admit was bad because Colin’s rendition had been pretty terrible. Both ABBA and Donna Sheridan would have been ashamed.

“Yeah, he didn’t insult anyone today.”

“Not even when I tripped over the ball twice in a row and face-planted onto the ground,” Cockburn says.

“And he kept saying please and thank-you,” Richard says.

“Even, let me have the last of Nate’s energy mix,” Winchester says.

“I personally believe we should consider my ‘Abducted by aliens’ hypothesis,” Moe says.

Everyone politely ignores Moe’s comment except for Winchester who looks like he’s really considering it.

“So, what’s up?” Isaac asks Roy before Moe can get the ball rolling and go into detail about flying saucers and little green people.

Roy doesn’t say anything, just sinks as far into his chair as the ropes will allow.

“As well as being a safe space, this is also a no-judgment zone,” Isaac says when no answer is forthcoming.

“This is fucking stupid,” Roy says, not sitting up even as the rope digs into his skin.

“No-judgment zone,” Isaac repeats, pointing the magnifying glass threateningly at Roy.

Roy continues to not say anything, everyone continues to stare him down, and Isaac continues to point the magnifying glass at him.

“I don’t fucking know,” Roy finally speaks, giving in because peer pressure is real, “He’s being an over-dramatic little shit. Throwing a tantrum because the world doesn’t revolve around him. Just because I didn't want to go to his stupid snobby restaurant,” he says knowing full well that isn’t all of it. Or most of it for that matter.

“Oh! Is this the restaurant Jamie wouldn’t stop going on about?” Colin asks.

“The one with the fancy gold steak?” Goodman says.

“And the foie gras and expensive caviar,” Richard adds, “I hear they also have an excellent wine list.”

“Yes, Jamie has been talking about that restaurant for some time,” Sam says.

“He seemed very excited by it,” Dani says.

Somehow, Roy manages to sink even further into his chair, deciding that blood circulation is optional.

“Did he finally get a reservation?” Goodman asks.

“Apparently the waiting list is well long,” Colin says, “It’s way exclusive. Even Anna Hathaway, the fucking princess of Genovia hasn’t managed to get a reservation yet.”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me but Her Majesty Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi is the fucking queen of Genovia, you ignorant twat,” Roy says.

“Nah, she’s not,” Colin says, “Is she?”

“In ‘The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement’, Mia Thermopolis is told she has to marry some fucking random dipshit because of the fucking patriarchy otherwise she can’t be coronated,” Roy starts, “Only she convinces everyone that the patriarchal society we live in is bullshit, making them change the laws, allowing her to become the rightful ruler of Genovia because no fucking Queen needs a man,” Roy finishes his rant, saying far more words than he’s used to.

Everyone stares at him, wide-eyed.

Roy, not physically able to slump down any further, says, “Stop looking at me; my fucking niece loves those movies.”

“Ahhh,” everyone says, nodding in understanding.

Roy does not add that he also loves those movies.

“Yes, he’s right,” Isaac says, “Mia’s grandmother steps down as queen, and Mia is crowned the rightful ruler of Genovia. In the end, she decides to follow her heart instead of some archaic sexist laws, and her heart leads her right to Chris Pine.”

“Understandable; who wouldn’t fall in love with Chris Pine,” Colin says.

“Yes. Definitely the better Chris,” Goodman says.

“He has such lovely eyes,” Dani says.

Finally, they’re making some fucking sense, Roy thinks.

“I actually prefer Chris Evans,” Zoreaux says, “I really enjoyed his portrayal of Steve Rogers. Especially the finale of End Game. I thought the character development was really interesting.”

Everyone looks at Zoreaux, horrified.

Roy can see an inner battle playing out across Isaac’s face: to keep on track with this farce of an intervention or to pause long enough to tell Zoreaux exactly how wrong he is.

The battle wages on for a moment longer before Isaac decides that there are some atrocities that have to be addressed right away, intervention be damned.

“You’re so fucking wrong mate, I’m embarrassed for you,” Isaac says, turning fully to face Zoreaux.

And the flood gates open.

Everyone pivots to Zoreaux to all loudly tell him why what he said was fucking stupid.

“The time-travel plot doesn’t make any sense,” Moe says.

“Steve Rogers should have stayed with Bucky Barnes. And then made out with him,” Cockburn says.

“Yes!” Colin shouts in agreement.

“They took some perfectly good character development, and then shredded it into pieces,” Roy himself argues.

“There was very little respect for the character’s ideals,” Sam adds.

“Going into the past and not doing anything to save past-Bucky from being forced into the role of the Winter Soldier was a dick move,” Goodman says.

Zoreaux tries to defend himself, to argue his case, but every time he opens his mouth, someone else starts shouting at him. He’s one very wrong man against a room full of highly opinionated footballers.

They are all so focused on giving Zoreaux the education he sorely lacks that nobody notices the door opening. But somehow the quiet “Oh my,” from Nate manages to pierce through the noise.

Everyone immediately shuts up, the onslaught of abuse hurled at Zoreaux stops, and they all look to the door where Nate stands, a pile of towels in one hand, the other hand on the doorknob, frozen still as all eyes focus on him.

Nate takes in the room with wide eyes. There’s Zoreaux cowering in a corner. The team packed like sardines in the small room, all turned towards Zoreaux, mid-shout. Isaac dressed flashier than a neon eyesore, his bedazzled smoking pipe refracting the light onto the wall. And Roy, tied to a chair.

“I—I’ll come back. Later,” Nate stutters, ignoring the SOS messages both Zoreaux and Roy are blinking at him, much like Roy did to him. Fucking karma.

Nate steps back into the hallway and shuts the door behind him, leaving Roy and Zoreaux to their fate. Roy can hear Nate’s hurried footsteps as he flees.

The short lull is, much to Roy’s grief, enough for Isaac to remember that the point of this meeting isn’t to go into great detail about the many downfalls of the MCU. Unfortunately, Isaac is reminded of the presence of their true victim.

There is nothing but relief on Zoreaux’s face as Isaac turns back to Roy.

“Now, Roy, we just want to help,” Isaac says, once again.

“We also don’t want Jamie to go back to being a prick,” Colin adds.

“Yes, that too,” Isaac agrees.

Everyone hums their own agreement.

“Jamie has become so much more tolerable since you two have become friends,” Sam says.

“We’re not friends,” Roy says, repeating the same words he’d said the night before.

“Yes, you are,” Isaac says dismissively, waving away Roy’s words with the hand holding the bedazzled pipe. It has orange and green rhinestones on it, matching the rest of the outfit.

“No. We’re not,” Roy grits out, this conversation giving him an annoying sense of déjà vu.

“Wait.” Sam says, “Did you tell Jamie that you two weren’t friends?”

“Yes!” Fucking honesty, right?

“Roy!” They all shout at him.

“So this must be why Jamie asked me if we were friends this morning,” Sam says, putting two and two together.

“Really?” Colin says, “He asked me that exact same thing.”

“And me,” Goodman chips in.

“Me too,” Dani adds.

Everyone in the boot room pips in, all saying that Jamie had asked them if they were friends.

“And what did you all answer?” Roy asks.

“Yes!” They say in unison, as though Roy wasn’t already feeling shitty enough about himself.

“Look what you’ve done, Roy!” Moe says, “You’ve made Jamie question his personal and professional relationships.”

“You’ve given him anxiety!” Kukoč says.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself,” Goodman says.

“What!” Ron shouts, straining at the ropes; escape would be quite good round about now, “I was being honest!”

Honesty was the best fucking policy.

“Like, listen, respectfully, Cap,” Isaac says, “but that was fucking stupid. Also, you’re wrong.”

“No, I’m not,” Roy says.

“Of course you two are friends,” Dani says, “You are inseparable. You spend all your time together.”

“No, we don’t.”

“You two hang out before work every single day,” Goodman says.

“That’s personal training,” Roy defends himself, “Because no way in fuck would Jamie be able to reach his full potential with fucking Lasso holding the reins.” Realising this doesn’t help his case much, Roy adds, “It’s also a bribe to make sure he fucking behaves. Which he has been. You’re all fucking welcome.”

“Is cooking for him also part of his ‘personal training’,” Colin says, finger quoting those last two words.

“Yes,” Roy growls, “He needs to follow an exact diet so that his body is up to task.”

“You two also carpool,” Kukoč says.

“That’s for the fucking environment. Global warming is a serious issue,” Roy says.

“True,” Isaac says, everyone nodding in agreement, “But saving the planet doesn’t explain why you have regular movie nights together.”

“That’s not because we’re friends; those movie nights are fucking educational moments because Jamie is wrongly convinced that The Muppets Take Manhattan is the best Muppet movie.” Roy and Jamie had been watching the best to the worst muppet movies. He’d been planning on putting Jamie’s favourite last to be a dick. Even though the worst one is definitely the Wizard of Oz one.

“Yeah the best movie is The Great Muppet Caper,” Thierry says, finally finding the courage to speak, even though he is still in his corner, once again stating the wrong opinion.

“No, it’s the 2011 The Muppets,” Colin says.

“Nah, nah, The Muppets Movie, 1979. The OG, bruv,” Isaac says.

“That one is a classic for a reason,” Moe agrees with Isaac.

“I love Muppets From Space,” Dani chimes in, all smiles, just happy to be part of the conversation. Fucking chipper prick.

“I personally prefer the Treasure Island one,” Sam says, “I really enjoy the retelling of a cherished childhood story. And I think Tim Curry played most excellently.”

“You’re all fucking wrong,” Roy interrupts, “The best one is the Muppet Christmas Carol.”

Colin opens his mouth to contest, but Roy’s glare leaves no room for argument.

“Right, yeah,” Colin mutters, “The Muppet Christmas Carol is the best one. Definitely.”

“Caring about him reaching his full potential, making sure he eats a balanced meal, movie nights,” Jeff lists off, “This sounds like friendship to me.”

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous,” Roy says.

“Yes, you are. And the sooner you accept that the sooner you can apologize for being an idiot,” Colin says, then after seeing the glare Roy directs at him, he adds, “I meant that respectfully, of course, Captain.” He scurries out of sight behind Winchester.

“Yeah, Cap. It is better to learn wisdom late than never to learn it at all,” Isaac says before putting his fake smoking pipe in his mouth.

“The fuck are you on about?” Roy asks, wondering if Isaac hit his head during training. It would explain the outfit.

“Sherlock Holmes, mate.” Isaac says.

“Colin and Isaac are right, Captain,” Sam says, because he remains a traitor, “We just want you and Jamie to be happy, and I believe for that to happen, you must both reconcile.”

“I do not want my friend Jamie or you, Captain, to be sad,” Dani says, all earnest and shit.

“I’m not sad,” Roy says immediately.

They look at him, everyone raising at least one eyebrow at him. Except Kukoč who raises both because he can’t lift just one eyebrow to save his life.

“I’m not,” Roy insists.

“Is that why you’ve been looking at Jamie longingly throughout the whole day,” Colin says from behind Winchester.

“Come say that to my fucking face, you coward,” Roy growls.

The coward remains exactly where he is.

“Every relationship goes through tricky periods. Every relationship has its arguments. That’s normal. Natural,” Moe says, “What you need to do is take some time for self-reflection to weed out the root of this conflict. Be honest with yourself in identifying the role you played leading up to the conflict. Recognize how your words have hurt Jamie, and then open up to Jamie about it. The only way to get through these rocky moments is by communicating and listening,” Moe concludes.

“What? As well as apologizing, you want me to talk about my fucking feelings?” Roy asks.

“Yes!” Everyone says.

“That’s stupid,” Roy says.

“You’re stupid,” is whispered from behind Winchester.

“I thought this was a non-fucking-judgment zone!” Roy says.

“No, you’re right,” Colin says, finally stepping out from behind Winchester, arms raised in what Roy assumes is meant to be a calming manner, “ I hear you, I understand you. You’re not stupid, and I’m sorry for saying so.”

“See, Roy?” Isaac says, “Apologizing is that easy.”

“Okay, you’ve made your fucking point,” Roy says.

“So you’ll talk to Jamie?” Sam asks.

“Fucking fine!” Roy says, mostly in the hopes that someone will untie him from the chair.

Everyone cheers, leaning over Roy to high five each other.

“Excellent,” Isaac says, pocketing the pipe and the magnifying glass, “Well, we’re done here. See you all at training tomorrow.”

Isaac opens the door, starts ushering everyone out, clapping them on the shoulders, congratulating them on an intervention well done.

Roy watches them go, bewildered as the boot room empties out. Roy continues to watch as Isaac guides the last few players out before following them himself. Roy is still watching, bewildered as Isaac closes the door behind him, leaving Roy alone in the boot room.

Roy waits a moment, breathes in, breathes out, opens his mouth, “Will someone get me out of this fucking chair!” He shouts.

Muffled by the door, he hears Isaac say, “Oh shit. Right.”

The door opens, and they all come back in, one after the other, looking appropriately contrite.

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Semi-Finals

[image ID: the first image is of the cover for the Hello from the Hallowoods podcast. it depicts the silhouettes of trees, and a large creature emerging from behind them. it's furry, with many red eyes, horns, large antlers, and a clawed hand raised up, as if waving at the viewer. above the creature, in the middle of a red gun sight, reads: "Hello." in red text. the second image is of No Significant Harassment, a shadowy figure standing behind a sleeping pink-red, fox-like creature. their green hands seem to be holding up the floating creature. end ID]

Diggory Graves

Convinced they only lost the deadguydeathmatch because not enough people knew about them. A bit of a Frankenstein's monster scenario. Uses they/them pronouns, is dating a ghost trans man. Despite their intimidating appearance they are lovely and would go to the ends of the Earth for their friends. Their arms are for hugs and their claws are for fighting

No Significant Harassment

They're just a silly little guy. A jokester. Significant harassment if you will. Anyway, a more in depth run down: They're a city sized supercomputer built by a Buddhist adjacent society to figure out how to transcend the 'Great Cycle' (semi-metaphorical cycle of death and rebirth) in a safer way than the previous method (submerging oneself in the 'void sea' which is a mysterious golden liquid that dissolves whatever it touches). Despite being built for this express purpose NSH never really shows a pressing interest in ascension, even cracking jokes about those who are still looking for a solution. Whether this is due to indifference, dislike of, or humor to cope with being unable to ascend is not clear and really up to interpretation. Example: NSH: I wish them super good luck in that endeavor. How is it going to happen? Have the overseers gnaw through bedrock until their entire can crashes down in the void sea? BSM: Please be respectful when speaking of the Void Sea. Grey Wind, where did you hear this? CW: I really shouldn't say. He's going to attempt some sort of breeding program. Thought you might want to know. NSH: Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along! He's very flippant, but does care very intensely for those close to him. NSH: Moon? It's me again. NSH: I do not know if you are receiving these. Please signal in any way you can. NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay. NSH: … NSH: Its difficult for us to assist you over this distance. NSH: Even more difficult for us to do anything in the midst of these tantrums. NSH: Were going to try everything that we can. NSH: Just hold on a little longer. (Context for previous convo: They genetically engineered a super organism of a slugcat (the species you play as in Rain World) to help reset his coworker/sibling after her collapse and restart her systems. He was so desperate to fix her that he accidentally messed up the slugcat's (Hunter) genetic code and as a result it became riddle with the Rot (relatively similar to aggressive cancer) :( which parallels his other coworker/siblings condition who also has the rot. ) He canonically uses he/they pronouns too! Nonbinary swag! NSH has major internet troll vibes. He has sent a data pearl of "something distasteful" to his neighbors on several(?) occasions and causes chaos. If he had access to the wider internet he'd probably be an influencer So…yeah! Vote NSH this website likes the allure of heavy machinery and stuff like that so… there you go. Kind of a blorbo. End post.

[n-fblog]

Reo, Nagi, and Differences from the Main Manga

Thoughts from Episode: Nagi, chapter 17

Reo:

This chapter was kind of needed for him to "abandon" his ego of becoming the best with Nagi (and we can see it sort of fading in the textbox) -- and simultaneously get rid of that growing attachment he has to Nagi. Really sad to see him say, "thank you" as if he doesn't even have the strength to break them apart himself (and he didn't)

The chameleon makes its first chronological appearance so we can clearly see him start to 'adapt' his thinking and playing even though it's not fully fleshed out yet, which is exciting! I wasn't sure if that was something he made up with Shidou before, but it's hilarious to know it all started with Nagi, AGAIN. Or maybe this is the manga trying to convey that he's changing himself to help Nagi walk away lol

His inferiority complex with Nagi makes itself kind of known here, with the monologue- "Those are the words *I* wanted to say,," but was unable to...

Somehow, Nagi being able to encourage Reo makes him the stronger one mentally -- which is tough for someone who subconsciously already thinks he can't go very far without Nagi skill-wise.

Poor guy... and he still has so far to go before he starts to think he can fight on his own.

Nagi:

Man, this chapter pretty much confirms that their mischaracterization and miscommunication goes both ways lol. Nagi spitefully admonishes that he isn't Reo's 'toy' when Reo flips from "wanting to be the best" to "wanting to stay together"-- These guys have such a hard time acknowledging their friendship outside of football, it's actually painful.

I can't tell if he made any sort of connection betweey 'toy' and being Reo's 'treasure'. But that's almost definitely a metaphor on Reo's part. What a lot of people misuse is that Reo calls Nagi his 'treasured possession' when I really, truly don't think he meant viewing Nagi as a literal object. But how else do you expect a rich boy who's only been shown love through material things to describe something he values? *(see tags for a rant on this lol)

I do wish we'd gotten more insight into how he felt when he heard what Reo said in the moment, but this chapter was already long as it is. I do think Nagi's expressions sort of speak for themselves.

I mean, he straight up looks like he's about to cry here. 

I would argue that part of Nagi's promise to 'stay together' during the entrance actually includes 'believing in each other' like he says here:

 And if that's the case, then what did Reo's claim of abandonment mean to him? Was it that Reo didn't believe in Nagi's newfound drive to win? Or was he mad that Reo didn't believe in himself? I think it's a bit of both, but I really want to see more thoughts in the manga or from the fandom

Blue Lock vs. Episode: Nagi

So... Nagi definitely seems more angry in this chapter, right? When you revisit Ch. 76, you can see that Nagi is a lot more apologetic towards Reo

( Here you see him lament not growing alongside Reo, but fired up and excited to work with Isagi)

vs. what we saw this chapter

(Nagi saying sorry and acknowledging he's changed, but looking less toward the future and more resisting the past)

Maybe this is just a difference in translations, but "I can't [am not able to] go back" feels a little different from "I won't go back" -- the former just feels like an admission (to Reo), while the latter feels a lot more confrontational, a downright refusal to go along with what Reo wants.

And that's fine, but it does reshape how I thought about Nagi, and I think it really emphasizes just how pissed he was at Reo by the end of 2nd Selection.

This reframes their interaction during U-20 tryouts for me. I originally thought it was mostly setting up Reo's chameleon style defense and Reo's internal conflict (which it is) but EpiNagi really just shows that Nagi also has a ways to go before they reunite in Manshine

I think this could be the panel (from Ch. 107, 3rd Selection) where Nagi forgives Reo -- it's the point where Reo sort of shows he understands Nagi's drive to win, and that he doesn't value staying together over improving anymore. After that, they have no issues (in Nagi's eyes) so it was probably easy to imagine walking up to Reo during MC v BM and asking for his help ... but man, we still have a long way til then, and I can't wait for EpiNagi to probably prove me wrong :p

[selectivechaos]

Selective mutism awareness month

Here's a masterpost on what is sm: link

🌹 SM is an anxiety disorder characterised by the persistent inability to speak in certain social situations. This could be around certain people, or in certain settings like school, or work, or home.

A major thing with SM is also the marked ability to communicate in situations where the person feels comfortable and less anxious.

SM is closely tied to social anxiety disorder, with high comorbidity rates. But there is no consensus on the causes of SM.

People with SM are likely to have a family member with SM or with another anxiety disorder.

🌹Here is a list of many attributes and symptoms/effects of SM.

🌹 Selective mutism is the official term for the disorder. It was thought to be an improvement on the previous name: 'elective mutism', (check out history of the name) in clarifying that the person is Not choosing not to speak. But many people with sm reject the name 'selective' because it makes it seem like we select to be mute (the name is intended to refer to the selective nature and effects of our anxiety, and how we are mute in select situations). Many prefer the name 'situational mutism' to emphasise that we are not choosing to be mute. But many also don't mind, or even prefer the term 'selective'. I use both!

🌹 SM is not just mutism! It affects all forms of communication. In my opinion, he official dsm definitions of sm merely focus on what is a problem for Other people, rather than focusing on how it affects the selectively mute person.

People with SM may have a blank face and appear frozen, due to the freeze response to anxiety. But some people with SM alternatively display a wide variety of facial expressions, gestures and body language, in order to communicate. We don't always look like your idea of a 'shy person'; despite being anxious and unable to speak, some of us look aggressive, standoffish, bored, blank, tired, happy, etc etc. This leads to underdiagnosis of SM.

Many times parents hide diagnoses or refuse to recognise them, because they think this gives the child an 'excuse' not to speak. or that it will 'get in the child's head'; really this is wrong and people with SM deserve support and access to treatment.

🌹 Traumatic vs selective mutism. SM varies and can be low profile.

[treviso-nights]

he loves me not - shall we date? obey me! (mc vs. belphie)

rating: T-M words: 4k summary: a one-shot addressing the MC's emotions after That Scene from the first season. idk why they never bring it up again, but if you're gonna fight, you might as well keep it in the family & go all out, bb! (ewww.) (spoilers for the first season, obvi.) (characters include all of the brothers and a FMC.)

read on ao3

The sharp sound of her hand across his face is a gunshot, a cannon explosion which detonates all around them.

The amethyst-eyed demon balks, mouth wide open, the unending indigo of his gaze flaring to life at the assault. He staggers where he stands, dazed, not by the pain itself but because of the shock. 

Everyone else is frozen as well, varying expressions of horror and fear etched onto their faces. No one steps forward to stop or restrain her, and Freya sways from the force of her own attack, though she orients herself at once. And then, without an ounce of hesitation, she tenses again, all of the muscles in her body rigid with fury.

The opposite hand slams into the demon’s face, palm and fingers hard against him. Her knuckles collide with a delicious impact, and a fodder of gasps dissolve into the air. The demon stumbles, just once, his back foot catching on the ground to steady himself.

But she is already vaulting, clinging to the demon’s body as they both crashed to the ground with a painful thud! Straddling his waist, Freya cocks her fist back and prepares to strike and strike and strike. She doesn’t realize she is screaming until the grass beneath her is shivering from the force.

XXX

She is fading. She is dying. She can feel the sides of her trachea being crushed underneath his fingertips, folding into itself and mawed by his supernatural strength. She cannot even gasp for air as he lifts her a few inches off the ground, her toes intermittently dragging across its surface. Freya is beating and slapping and hitting at the arm and hand which kills her so easily, but she knows. She knows she doesn’t stand a chance.

“I can’t stop laughing,” he giggles, the staccato array of chuckles darkening into madness. “The look on your face! Ahahaha!!”

Her eyes wander, desperate to claim one last look at the person she loved most in the three fucking realms. He isn’t there yet. No one is. Will she really die before smiling at him one last time?

“BELPHEGOR!”

All at once, a horde of demons appear. They’re seemingly conjured from the void, racing into the foyer from the kitchen, the dormitory hallways—Satan nearly trips down the stairs from the force of his own shock and terror.

A swell of hot, stinging tears gathers behind her eyes, and suddenly, she is crying. She is sobbing, in fact, unable to choke out noise or phlegm or snot, and twitches because of it. As she gazes upon the faces of her most cherished loved ones, she finds that her chest not only constricts but convulses as well. The six, demon brothers stare at her, horror and agony blended together upon each feature, twisting their eyes and mouths in harsh ways.

Satan is the first to speak, hands trembling by his sides. “Let her GO, Belphegor!”

But Belphegor only grins, the smile exposing too many of his teeth to be natural. “Why should I? Look at how the human squirms. Isn’t she lovely like this?” For a moment, Belphegor’s gaze rakes over her face and body, slightly suspended as it still is. “Her face… tightened in pain… she’s exquisite.”

A hiss pulses through the air. She finds Lucifer, black aura gathering around him in waves. Wings suddenly explode out of him, and he shifts into demon form.

“Do not force me to take action, Belphegor.” Lucifer’s voice is sharper and more severe than she’s ever heard it before. He takes two steps forward, surpassing the crowd his brothers have formed in front of them.

“Let. Her. Go.”

Belphegor only sneers. “It’s too late.”

And indeed, it is. Freya gazes into the churning, broiling eyes of a man plunged into insanity, and she finds nothing there but the desire to cause pain. Although a fire erupts inside her chest, a deep, unending cold seeps into her skin, her bones… Freya’s eyes flutter closed of their own accord, until another voice, cracking with desperation, snaps her back to the present.

“Belphie…” Beezelbub pleads.

“Please.”

It’s almost imperceptible—the flash of doubt, so minute, illuminating Belphegor’s eyes. The flash is replaced by rage however, and Freya feels her arms drop to her sides. She’s so close to death, she can’t even lift her limbs. The fire swirls hotter, calcinating her heart and lungs into dust.

She wants to speak… but death will not let her.

Goodbye, she thinks, trying her very best to somehow project this thought into the minds of the brothers. She thinks of deep, red, carnelian eyes before the endl, too weak now to even find them.

 I love you all.

The bonfire suddenly stutters, and the world goes black.

XXX

She is airborne… and then something hard and rock-solid collides with her back. If she was breathing, the wind would’ve been knocked out of her. Instead, she simply lays there, every sound around a garbled concoction of noise.

Tendrils of warmth snake around her, pressing her close to something which is also warm. Her neck is suddenly supported, though her head still tilts over it, limp.

“Freya… Freya!”

She can barely make the words out. She knows that voice, though. A painful, weak lick of fire stabs through her. Mammon…

“Freya, don’t you die! FREYA!”

“Ahahaha! Mammon, you look like such a fool!”

“Belphie, what have you done!?” Beel…

Something fluid then drips onto her cold, frigid face. Warm and wet, she can feel the liquid trailing over her own cheeks and neck.

Tears?

Is Mammon… crying?

“Freya,” he chokes, his voice a mere whisper. She can feel him start to shake against her. “Come back. Please come back to me.”

Freya never wanted this… never wanted to leave the brothers, Simeon and Luke, the Devildom… hell, even Solomon, who contains more secrets than she could ever fathom. Barely cognizant and even in the clutches of imminent death, she realizes that she hates Belphegor for taking her away from them all.

She hates him. He did this. He killed her. And now the brothers will suffer. They will cry and scream and wail, and Belphegor will swallow it all whole, such is his taste for destruction.

If she could, Freya would kill him. She would end his life.

Freya is fading. Her last thoughts are saturated with rage and despair… not quite a fitting death, she thinks. Still. She will die in the arms of someone she loves deeply, someone who, despite the ice-cold shell of her broken body, keeps her tepidly warm against him.

The vibrations of loud, combustible clamor suddenly sounds off in the foyer. Yelling. People are yelling, though she is nothing but a pinprick of sentience left. Freya knows she will go in the next several seconds, and the warmth from before descends onto her forehead. Skin… Mammon’s skin. Mammon’s forehead. He is rocking them back and forth, his eyes spilling droplets of tears onto her own.

“Freya, I love you,” he breathes onto her cheek. “Don’t go. Don’t die. I love you.”

Reality dissolves, unravels itself like an infinite, cosmic ball of yarn. The void sings a haunting melody which resounds throughout the entirety of her body. Freya, exhausted, lets go. The blackness overtakes her and she is unwillingly, but peacefully, shrouded inside a dimension of nothingness.

Mammon… be happy.

XXX

They’re on their way to class. The twinkling constellations glimmer back at them from the sky, their once unfamiliar skeletons now relatively memorized. Each demon is a mass of towering splendor, and Freya, with her long, raven hair and heterochromic eyes, is a slender body weaving between brothers, exchanging banter and small-talk.

Asmodeus leaps forward, seizing Freya’s right arm to his chest. “I want to walk with Freya! You want to walk with me too, right, gorgeous?”

Similar sentiments—as well as louder opposition—sound off behind them.

“Oi! Asmo! Get your filthy hands off of my human!”

“T-That’s not fair! What if I want to walk with her?”

“Are you all really incapable of ever shutting your mouth?”

And then, a slighter demon with indigo-grey hair is at her side, zipping to her at incredible speed. His hands, delicate and pale, proceed to encircle Freya’s left arm. She is subsequently yanked to him, hot breath washing over one cheek as he speaks with a laugh.

“What Freya isn’t saying is that she really wants to walk with me, rig—“

The sharp sound of her hand across his face is a gunshot, a cannon explosion which detonates all around them.

The amethyst-eyed demon balks, mouth wide open, the unending indigo of his gaze flaring to life at the assault. He staggers where he stands, dazed, not by the pain itself but because of the shock. 

Everyone else is frozen as well, varying expressions of horror and fear etched onto their faces. No one steps forward to stop or restrain her, and Freya sways from the force of her own attack, though she orients herself at once. And then, without an ounce of hesitation, she tenses again, all of the muscles in her body rigid with fury.

The opposite hand slams into the demon’s face, palm and fingers hard against him. Her knuckles collide with a delicious impact, and a fodder of gasps dissolve into the air. The demon stumbles, just once, his back foot catching on the ground to steady himself.

But she is already vaulting, clinging to the demon’s body as they both crashed to the ground with a painful thud! Straddling his waist, Freya cocks her fist back and prepares to strike and strike and strike. She doesn’t realize she is screaming until the grass beneath her is shivering from the force.

“Don’t,” she hisses, green-and-black eyes flaring with rage. “Do not ever touch me!”

Belphegor doesn’t move. He lays there, soft, cultivated clumps of vegetation cradling his back and legs as they remain unnaturally still. Like before, the others are frozen as well, though Freya sees Lucifer shift from the corner of one eye.

Her head whips to the side. “Stay,” she snarls. Lucifer’s face goes blank with surprise.

The command itself is profane… she does not invoke the pact between them, however, the afternoon air vibrates heavily with magical warning.

Freya turns back to Belphegor, who eyes her warily. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, so quiet is his voice. She can feel every modicum of attention seeping into her skin, but it is an afterthought.

Nothing but fire and red and blood and tears and fury broils inside her. She needs an outlet… has needed an outlet, but was too burdened by the weight of Diavolo’s request. 

He’d wanted her to help reintegrate the youngest brother back into the fold, to mend the bridge shattered long ago by hate and pain–to help prepare Belphegor for RAD’s exchange program and the future humans it would bring into the Devildom, whether that last condition was implied or not. It hadn’t mattered. When Diavolo asked you to do something, no questions were to be asked.

In all of this time, Freya knows that there’s been zero regard for her in the process. Nobody has batted an eye or worried about her acclimating back into the fold. After all, she was the one who’d been killed. She was the one who had DIED.

Freya can’t see the Devildom’s constellations above her anymore, can’t see how each alien star shivers with anticipation. Her head is too bowed, too hunched, too coiled over in fury. She never once takes her eyes off Belphegor, who remains still beneath her legs and waist.

“How does it feel?” she near-mumbles, placing a shaking hand on top of his throat. “How does it feel to be incapacitated by someone you thought you knew?” She lightly squeezes his throat with her fingers, though not enough to cut off his supply of air.

Mammon’s voice immediately sounds off behind her. “Freya, c’mon, kid… knock it off.”

A reactive growl builds in her throat at the sound. “Funny how protective you lot are when you want to be,” she nearly spits. Belphegor holds her gaze regardless, the amethyst in them swirling limply. He does not attempt to fight back.

“I asked you how it felt,” she prompts him.

Beel. “Freya—“

“It hurts,” Belphegor finally answers. “But I can’t say that I blame you. After all, I did much worse than this in the end.”

Freya’s eyes narrow dangerously at him. “Yes, you did.” She considers him thoughtfully for a moment, her head slightly cocked.

“I’m not strong enough to crush your throat the way you crushed mine.”

At this, Belphegor pales.

“But, you are.”

Her heterochromic eyes flash with a ripple of magic, glinting in the lowlight of the always-full moon and its rays. The hand upon his neck is suddenly replaced with one of his, snapping up and gripping his own trachea under the authority of her wordless, magical command.

“All right,” Lucifer snaps. “That’s enough!”

“No!” Belphegor croaks, expression blown wide open. “Leave her alone.” His eyes nervously dart back to Freya’s. “This is what I deserve.”

She sneers at him. Tangles of raven-black hair obscures much of her face, blocking most of the hateful glare she throws at him. Then a pause so quiet, Freya thinks she can hear the creaking of everyone’s jaws tightening up. “You crushed my throat with your bare hands. Did you know that before dying, I was choking on my own blood? That you squeezed so hard, I couldn’t even cough it back up again?”

The trembling spread to the rest of her, until her whole body shuddered with rage.

“You deserve much worse than this, Belphie. You deserve to die, like I did.”

A thick, gray silence smogs over them and for a moment, Freya’s expression falls, eyes and mouth slackening with the beginning of grief.

“B-But…” Leviathan stammers, “It was the other you who… died… right?” The atmosphere seemed to flicker with an unseen shock which wrapped all around them. “You existed separately from the Freya who… right?”

Freya could practically feel the brothers’ horror, sharp as a whip, crack through the air. She peered into each of their faces, wordless, speechless at the obvious fear clutching ahold of them.

“Did you truly not know?” A whisper. Her eyes close, not wanting to remember, but feeling a blade in her chest regardless. 

Another oversight. Another betrayal. Her teeth bare themselves of her own accord, and she was sure that if she were truly a demon, black wings would punch themselves through the back of her school uniform.

“I am the one who died. I remember the pain,” she murmurs, eyes drifting closed once more. “I remember the cold, the white-hot bonfire in my chest as I struggled to breathe… I remember the taste of my own blood, my throat crushed beneath two, steady hands… his laughter…”

The wordless confusion in the air screamed out, silently breaking against each of them.

“And then I passed on,” she said simply, shoulders shrugging up. “And my consciousness merged with your version of Freya. Past-me.”

The wind yells too, tossing her raven-black hair around her cheeks. “So… yes, I remember.” Freya’s voice grows dark, angry again. “I remember it all.”

“Fuck, Freya,” Satan breathes. His expression twists, a sliver of desperation flashing in his emerald eyes. “We had no idea.”

It may have been new information, but the reveal is entirely unsurprising. Freya knows how much the brothers love her. She can feel it, the magic of each pack humming through her veins. The brothers have become a literal part of her entity, and so she knows that they’d never abandon her if they’d known.

But they didn’t. And she’d been alone in life, just as she was in her death.

Hot, wet tears prick at the back of her eyes, but Freya denies them, forcefully shoving them back from where they came. This was not the time to leave herself vulnerable, no matter how much she wants to cry and heave and mourn in their arms.

She is far too angry for that.

Her jaw flexes underneath the river-waves of her hair, then loosens as her brows lower.

“You could have asked,” she says. Her voice is a hollow-boned knife. “I needed you guys to be there, but instead I was told to help him.” Her green and black eyes snap back to the demon she still straddled.

“The demon who killed me.”

The brothers are frozen again, seemingly locked into place as she speaks. 

“I hate you,” she says to the youngest brother. “I wish you were dead. And God fucking knows that I am tempted to make that real.”

Belphegor remains silent, hands by his sides, visage ghostly white and stoney throughout her monologue. Freya has never seen him this way before. Not even when she came back to life. Not even when she found out that they were practically family. This was the face of a man afraid, and there is a raging, lava river inside of her that roars with gratification.

Maybe she really is becoming a demon. However… she grits her teeth, peering down at her murderer with magic swirling in her eyes.

“But I’m not like you,” she sneers, eyes and voice hard as knives pinned to rock. “I don’t kill people because of a mood swing or because it’s funny.”

The burning prick of tears surfaces again.

“I don’t kill people and call them exquisite while they die in my hands.”

Everyone flinches.

And then she is on her feet quickly, ripping herself from Belphegor’s body as if it is poisonous to her very flesh. They hold eye contact, the surrounding brother’s attention thick and viscous, sticking onto them both and waiting. One corner of Freya’s mouth twists, like it can’t decide whether to smile or scowl at the injustice of it all.

“You are a literal Prince of Hell, Belphegor. Fucking act like it, hm?” 

But she leans down, slowly shuttering the space between her face and his. He, who still lays fearfully on the ground beneath her. 

“The next time you think about coming for me,” she breathes, “you just remember the woman you chose to bind yourself to.” 

Then her eyes unexpectedly flare, the wild magic in them releasing with all of the rage quivering along her body. Belphegor flinches, his mouth opening in horror as her irises glow brightly, unnaturally, and twist into a vivid amethyst.

The same color as his own. 

Glaring. 

Unmaking. 

A predator yearning to eat.