#very cute and wholesome

[daegudrama]

Title: You Belong With Me

Pairing: Tyunning

Summary: Sweet high school Kai and Taehyun navigating a change in their relationship.

Word Count: 4,413 words

Taehyun

It's a typical Tuesday night and I'm listening to the kind of music most of my peers wouldn't like. Lately I've been really into music from other countries. I don't know why people think it's weird. Music transcends language in my opinion. 

I look towards my window wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of the boy next door. Huening Kai and I have been friends since I moved here in second grade. We know each other better than anyone else and we are always there for each other. Well...we used to be. 

Ever since he started dating Cynthia he's acted different. She doesn't want to hang out with me because I'm in pep band and she thinks I'm gay. She hasn't said that to Kai but I've heard her say it to her friends. Cynthia doesn't understand Kai like I do and that has led to numerous fights between them. Someone needs to put that girl in her place.

Kai comes into view of his window and I can see him waving his hand around while holding the other to his ear. Fighting with Cynthia again it looks like. I wonder what it's about this time. I'm always the one to comfort him when she takes a joke too seriously or is overly jealous. She fits every stereotype of a rich privileged cheerleader and I can't understand why Kai even likes her. 

His dark brown hair is falling in waves across his forehead and he desperately needs a haircut. He's about a week away from not being able to see anything. Maybe that's what he wants I wouldn't want to see his girlfriend's face every day either. He's wearing a big tshirt and basketball shorts I got him last Christmas. 

The sound of something falling in my room breaks my attention. My Junior Jewels shirt from band camp had fallen off my wall for what must be the twelfth time since I put it up. I set it aside not wanting to deal with it right now. 

Kai spent the summer at home while I was away at camp learning how to repel any romantic attention that might come towards me. Band camp really is the best birth control money can buy.

My room is filled with pictures of my friends and music that has had deep impact on my life. Each square inch covered with another piece of who I am. A picture from freshman year catches my eye and I can't help but smile. Kai and I after his first junior varsity football game. He was so sweaty and muddy but that didn't stop me from hugging my best friend. 

Across the room my phone dings from where I left it on my bed. There is only a few people who regularly text me and a quick glance to Kai's window tells me it's probably him.

Hyuka: do you want to watch a movie in the clubhouse? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

His emoji choice has me questioning things I shouldn't be thinking about. I can't let my mind go there and cause more of my poor heart strings to break. 

It's been awhile since we hung out in the clubhouse because like I said his girlfriend is a jerk. When Kai was eight his dad built him a shed in the backyard where he could play with his friends. As we got older we've redecorated and turned it into a hangout place.

Me: i can be there with popcorn in ten. See you soon 

After putting on a sweatshirt and socks I go downstairs to make popcorn. Mom is standing next to the sink but doesn't ask what I'm doing. When the popcorn is done I tell her where I'm going.

"Be back before ten." She says and I nod on my way out the door.

I unlock the gate of the Huening backyard and walk towards the clubhouse. Kai is sitting on the couch with the projector already warmed up and ready to go when I walk in.

"Hey," I say taking off my shoes in the doorway before walking to the couch. "Are you okay? I saw you through the window and you looked heated."

"Cynthia is being overdramatic again." He says as I sit beside him handing the popcorn over. "I was texting one of her cheerleader friends about an idea for a pep rally and she thinks I shouldn't do that. She said that's how it starts."

"How what starts?" I ask genuinely confused as to what she might mean. 

"I'm not even sure. Maybe she thinks I'm going to cheat on her? I really have no idea. I like her but sometimes she's too much." He sighs leaning back in his seat eating a piece of popcorn. "I wish I could just date someone that gets me like you do."

Date me. My brain screams and my eyes widen trying to figure out if I said that out loud. Kai's facial expression remains the same meaning I didn't say it.

"I think the same thing sometimes." I say without thinking and quickly change the subject. "Let's watch the movie."

He's chosen Camp Rock like he always does when something is upsetting him. This is his comfort movie and at this point I can quote it without the sound on.

When the popcorn is finished Kai leans against my shoulder sending my heart into a frenzy. I need to get my emotions in check before I ruin the best friendship I've ever had.  Lately it's been more uncontrollable. Seeing him running around in his football gear all the time only makes it worse. 

"You should find a girlfriend so we can hang out as a group." Kai says leaning against the other side of the couch. 

I don't know how to respond to that. I haven't told him I'm gay and I'm scared that he might not want to hang out with me afterwards. Kai is not homophobic but I think he'd be a little uneasy because we're so close. 

"I need to tell you something." I say before I can chicken out. This is important and I'm ready for my best friend to know even if I'm scared.

His eyes widen under his shaggy hair cut and his eyebrows come together like he's thinking hard about what I might tell him. Whatever he's thinking can't be close to this.

"Okay, you can tell me anything, Tae." He reaches out to touch my shoulder as he speaks.

"I'm gay." I close my eyes taking a deep breath. 

It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders but my heart also feels constricted not knowing how he'll react.

"Taehyun..." he trails off and my eyes open in worry. "I'm so proud of you for telling me. I'm sorry I just said something about you getting a girlfriend, I didn't know. I love you."

He pulls me into a hug and his words are ringing through my ears. I hug him back burying my head into his shoulder. 

"I love you too." I reply when he's let go.

"Do you like anyone?" He asks a little while later after I've told him he's the first person I've told.

Yes, only the most beautiful man in the world. I can't say that out loud. He's in a relationship and as far as I know he's not even a little gay. I try not to fantasize too much because all it does is hurt me. There is a very slim chance that I'll ever get what I want and that's something I need to live with.

"At our school? No one has really caught my eye." I lie and wonder if my eyes are shinning as much as I feel like they are. 

Every day it gets harder to not lean forward and just kiss him. I just want to know how it feels. Though, if I get a taste I'm sure I'd just want more for the rest of time. Life would be easier if everyone was gayer. 

"Sureee," Kai teases wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "What about that Beomgyu guy in your music class?"

Beomgyu is an attractive man but he can't captivate me in the same way Kai does. The way Kai pointlessly lies and is rarely seen without a plushie within a ten foot radius. It's how he can be a football star one moment and a soft boy that will cuddle his stuffed rabbit watching Camp Rock the next. He's been my best friend for so long. I can't imagine having to tell anyone all my childhood memories. Kai experienced them with me and knows me better than anyone. 

"He's cute but not really my type." I say hoping for a reason to escape before he asks me my type. Lying to Kai isn't my strong suit. He sees right through me and usually doesn't let it go. 

My phone rings and I see a photo of my mother and I breathe a sigh of relief. I quickly answer and my mother asks if I've finished all my homework because she found an English worksheet. I decide to use that as my escape even though that assignment isn't due for another few days.

"My mom wants me to do homework." I say getting up from my seat. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I run out before he can say another word and I feel so awkward. How did I tell him that? I wasn't prepared at all but I'm tired of people assuming I want a girlfriend. Heteronormativity is so strange to my flaming homosexual ass. 

My mom watches me finish my worksheet before letting me go to bed. I stay up longer than I should writing a song about what I'm feeling. No one will ever hear it but getting the words out makes me feel better. 

Around 11 Kai holds up a sign to the window like we used to do when we were little. Before we got cellphones on our thirteenth birthdays this is how we communicated. I find a notebook so I can respond to his 'Are you okay?'

He's not wearing a shirt and though it's nothing I haven't already seen there are butterflies in my stomach. I grab a sharpie and write 'Yes. Just going to go to sleep.'

I hold it up for a moment before stepping back to close my white curtain. A memory floods my mind and I can't shake it so it becomes part of the song.

Two years ago Kai and I were having a sleepover in the clubhouse and things took a turn. This was obviously before I came out and at that point I wasn't entirely sure of my sexuality. I knew I like boys and I thought I like girls but after deep consideration and trying to be with girls I realized that's not for me. 

It was well past two a.m. when Kai scooted closer to me on the bed that is lofted above the main hangout area. Without a word he tilted my chin up and pressed his lips against mine. For several minutes we kissed holding each other closely and then he turned around. He fell asleep and neither of us mentioned it. I can't help but think about that when my feelings for him grow each day. 

He's been my best friend for so long it's like we belong together. Kai has a smile that could light up this whole town but I haven't seen as much since he's been with her. She fights him on everything from what he wears to who he spends time with. 

Tomorrow is Friday meaning one more week until homecoming. Of course, I'll have to play at the game but without a date I'm not going to show up. Kai talks about wanting me at more school events with him but I just don't feel right about it. Especially not with Cynthia giving me weird looks every ten seconds. It's like she wants me to be jealous and I am but that's a weird thing to do to someone's best friend. Especially when they have no solid evidence that I'm actually not straight. 

I decide sleeping is my best option. Maybe if I'm well rested I'll be able to deal with school. 

The next week is a mess of perfecting songs for pep rallies and barely talking to Kai because he's so busy with football and trying to deal with his relationship.

On Thursday night he taps a note to his window. 'Movie sleepover @ 8?' I think about ghosting him but we live right next door to each other. If I don't answer he'll come over here.

It's odd that he wants a sleepover since we haven't had one in months. The fact that it's the day before game day makes it even weirder. Maybe he just had a really bad day. Beomgyu told me he heard from his friend on the football team that Cynthia wouldn't answer his calls last nights. Her snapchat location said she was at the co-captains house. I'm not going to mention it unless he says something. 

'I'll bring the ice cream' I write taping it to my window because I can't see if he's in his room right now. He's probably eating dinner. 

I sit down at my desk to do some homework. I push a few papers aside that I'd rip from my notebook and see 'I love you as more' written in large letters. Before summer I wanted to tell him but ended up chickening out because he left the window before I could show him. I fold the paper and hide it in my desk drawer. 

After finishing my homework and eating dinner I contemplate what ice cream to bring. My usually stash hidden in the outside freezer is running low. Maybe I'll go to the store and get some of our favorites. 

I tell my mom I'm going to spend the night in the clubhouse and she offers to buy snacks and ice cream for us. I gladly accept promising to do the dishes tomorrow in return. 

Kai's is the only place she would let me stay over on a school night. It's right next door so I can just come home in the morning to get ready. If she needs me I'm just across the yard really it's a win that we became best friends. 

It's nearly 8 when my mom returns. I'm wearing the matching pajama set she got me and Kai for Christmas last year. She looks happy that I'm wearing it and hands me the bags.

"Don't be late to school!" She yells as I walk out of the door. 

I roll my eyes knowing I won't be late tomorrow. Knowing Kai we will be asleep before twelve especially since he has a game. He takes his sports very seriously. 

"I brought snacks!" I say as I walk into the clubhouse without knocking.

Kai is lying across the couch staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression. He's wearing the same pajamas as me but his are a little too small. Kai has bulked up a lot this year from practicing so much. 

He sits up reaching for the bags before he says anything to me. The ice cream is in his hands when he finally greets me and I can tell he hasn't had a good day.

"I'm sorry we haven't been hanging out. Life's been stressful lately." Kai says stabbing his spoon into the ice cream with a sincere look.

"I understand. Girls and sports..." I trail off trying not to sound sarcastic but knowing I've failed.

"Cynthia has been really bugging me lately. It's like she doesn't trust me at all." 

I contemplated whether I want to give him good advice or just tell him it'll be okay. I decide to be a good friend as I shove my hand into the Dorito bag sitting between us.

"If my partner didn't trust me to do simple things I would take that as a red flag." I shuffle in my seat thinking of what to say next. I rest my chin on my hand. "This is high school and this relationship isn't made to last and we both know it. I've been reluctant to tell you this because it seemed like she made you happy but..."

"What is it Tae? You can tell me anything." Kai says when he sees my hesitation.

"Your girlfriend," the word tastes like sour milk in my mouth. "has repeatedly told me to stay away from you because she thinks I'm gay. I've also heard she doesn't want me around because she thinks I'll ruin your popularity."

"Are you serious?" He asks putting the ice cream aside and staring into my eyes. 

"I wouldn't lie about this." I say softly my tummy turning with anxiety.

"Taehyun, I'm so sorry she treated you that way. I would've had a conversation with her a long time ago if I knew. Is that why you declined hanging out with us?"

I nod my head and he sets the bags on the floor so he can reach over and hug me. He smells like the floral shampoo his older sister uses and his arms are right around me.

A moment later he sits back putting the ice cream in the mini fridge/freezer combo by the couch. Something catches his eye and suddenly there is two bottles of soju in his hand. He raises an eyebrow daring me.

"Kai, you have a game tomorrow." I say and he juts his lower lip out creating the cutest pout.

"A little soju never hurt. We'll watch Tangled and use our drinking game. Or we could just sit here. I feel like I need to catch up with you."

We decide to talk and drink rather than watch a movie. The snacks sit between us as I update him on what I've been doing this week. I've the next few hours we each finish a bottle than another half before we call it quits.

"Do you remember that time we kissed?" Kai asks when we've made it to the bed lofted above the main area. 

It's dark and I can't see his expression. Even my intoxicated brain starts screaming because we don't talk about that. This is really the first time he's ever mentioned it.

"Of course I do. I was under the impression you didn't want to remember it." I say wondering where this is going. 

I should turn around and go to sleep before we do something stupid. We are both intoxicated and I don't want to do anything he might regret tomorrow. I'm too intrigued to turn around. I need to know where this is going even it breaks my heart.

"Honestly it was one of the best kisses I've ever had. I tried kissing more boys after you but it was never quite the same."

My heart flutters and my brain is screaming not knowing what to do with this information. He's kissed more boys than just me? Kai thinks he likes boys. This is news to me and I can't understand why he's saying this now. We've drank together before and nothing like this conversation has ever left our lips.

"Why are bringing this up now?" I decide to ask after a few moments of silence.

The tension in the air is thick enough to cut and my chest is starting to hurt. I've imagined this moment so many ways and hoped that some day he'd confess feelings for me. I never thought I actually hear him say I'm the best kiss he's ever had.

"I've been thinking about you in a different light lately. Hearing what Cynthia said about you made me realize I shouldn't hide anymore."

Hide what? Does he have feelings for me? Does he want to kiss me again? I'm about to ask him when I hear a faint snore. He's fallen asleep and I wonder if he'll remember this tomorrow. It seems unlikely and I make a mental note to get up before he wakes up. 

In the morning my head is aching and my stomach feels like I might throw up at any moment. Kai is still asleep next to me with his cheek pressed against the pillow. His mouth is open and a little trail of drool is pooling on his pillow. 

Quietly I make my way out of the clubhouse and back home. Kai's words from last night are running through my mind and I wonder if he was being honest. I drink three bottles of water before taking a shower to wash off that drunk smell. The last thing I need is to get suspended or called to the office today.

It's homecoming night and I'm not planning on going to the dance because the one person I want to go with is still with someone else. I almost hope he doesn't remember his words so we don't have to have an awkward conversation.

"Did you have fun with Kai last night?" My older brother teases as I walk through the hallway.

I roll my eyes ignoring his attempt to get a rise from me. Instead I make toast knowing I don't have enough time for anything else. My phone dings as I'm leaving my house.

It's a message from Kai.

Hyuka: Why'd you leave before I woke up? 🥺Did I say something last night? It's kind of a blur 😣

He doesn't remember. A part of my heart sinks knowing that if I want a confession I'll have to tell him what he said. Time to swear off alcohol so something like this doesn't happen again. 

Me: its nothing...I'll see you later maybe 

I can't force myself to sound normal and I hate it. How am I supposed to react to this? My best friend said he really liked kissing me. I've had a crush on him for ages and think we would be perfect together. Of course I'm a little freaked out.

For most of the day I successfully avoid him until he corners me in the empty band room after pregame rehearsal. Everyone has left to get dinner leaving us alone.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Kai asks his eyes wide tinted with sadness. "I've had a horrible day and I wanted to talk to my best friend earlier but you just ran away."

He stands in front of me arms crossed over his chest. What else happened today? All I've been thinking of is his lips and how I wish I could kiss them whenever I wanted.

"We always promise not to lie or withhold information from each other..." I trail off debating whether I should continue. "but last night you dropped a pretty big bomb on me."

"What did I tell you?" His eyes are wide and he won't meet my eye contact. Kai's cheeks are flushed and I can tell he's hoping I don't say what he told me last night. 

"You told me our kiss was one of the best you've ever had and that you've tried kissing more boys but it wasn't the same. You also said you've been seeing me in a different light but you fell asleep before I could ask about that." 

I try to remain calm but his face is getting redder by the second. He hides his face in his hands and runs way before I can say another word. I let him go knowing that when he's ready he'll let me know. If he doesn't I'll come to him. I don't like being in this limbo. 

After dinner I'm back at school waiting for the game to start. I'm in the bleachers warming up my instrument. Kai hasn't come on the field yet but there is still a few minutes until the tip-off. 

At the last moment he appears looking confused. He quickly seems to get his head in the game, but during the second half he isn't his usual self. We still win the game but Kai has to be taken out because he can't focus. 

Once the game ends I rush home so no one can drag me to the dance. The last thing I need is to be around a bunch of hormonal teens twerking and trying to end the night fucking in the back of a limo. 

I'm trying to focus on my homework but I can't. All I want is to have answers. So I do the most cliched and ridiculous thing I can think of. I grab my love declaration from my desk. I get dressed in my nicest clothes and shove the note inside the pocket. 

I run to homecoming only stopping when I get inside and see Kai standing with his friends. His face is sad and I just want to make him smile. Kai's eyes sweep the room and land on me. A smile breaks across his face and he pushes his friends aside to walk towards me.

In the middle of the dance floor we each reach into our pockets and pull out a folded piece of paper. He unfolds his first and I see 'i love you (in a gay way)' written on his paper. The paper looks like it'd been folded and unfolded many times and I wonder how long he's had this.

He gasps when I unfold my paper taking the step forward to wrap his arms around me. He's pulled away from me by a well manicured hand. I look up to see Cynthia in a fire truck red dress that comes to her mid thigh.

"Babe, what are you doing?" She says trying to look sweet and innocent.

I don't think she's doing a very good job. One could compare her to the wickedness of Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Making myself happy. You were kissing my teammate a few days ago and bullying my best friend. I'm not your boyfriend. I'm his."

My heart is threatening to dance out of my chest hearing the words I've been waiting years to hear. She looks disgusted and storms off towards her group of friends.

"So you want to be my boyfriend?" I ask as he cups my face in his hands.

"Of course I do silly." He says leaning down to press his lips against mine in the middle of the dance like no one is watching.

[talaok]

Sunbathing

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: you’ve decided to sunbathe topless, or as your husband Joel would put it, you’ve decided to torture him.

Warnings: needy Joel, kind of sub!joel, unprotected p in v, premature ejaculation, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), come play.

a/n: i sunbathed topless for the first time and well this wrote itself

"You've seen my boobs before babe" A soft laugh bubbled up your throat as you turned your head left.

He wasn't even pretending not to be staring.

"Not like this"

You smiled, "what does that even mean?"

"not out... here"

You lowered your sunglasses to see him better, tilting your head to ask for further explanation

Yes you were outside, by the pool of the beautiful summer house you'd rented, but you didn't get how that made any difference, they were the same boobs he'd seen hours prior in your bed.

"I'm not used to not doing anything about them"

"ah" you hummed "is it that hard?"

You didn't even need to look at the smirk painting his face to regret your choice of words.

"yeah babydoll, it's real hard"

You only needed to lower your gaze a little to asses his statement.

"You're incorrigible"

"And you're torturin' me darlin'"

"How am I torturing you?" you laughed "I'm just taking advantage of the privacy we have to get a good tan"  

"and besides, I seem to remember how hard it is for you to see me with the whole bikini on too"

He sat up, the sunbed squeaking as he faced you.

"It ain't my fault if my wife's so pretty it hurts"

"you get so dramatic when you're horny" you chuckled, rolling your eyes.

He smiled, letting his gaze wander all over your body for a good minute, before getting back at your face

"nothin's gonna happen is it?" his tone was full of hope nonetheless

"no baby" you shook your head

He sighed, dramatically letting his head fall to his chest

"I'll have a swim then"

"have fun honey"

__ __ __

"darlin'?"

Not even ten minutes had passed, and that scene from the Barbie movie with the "Ken! Go for a walk or something" line couldn't not pop into your head.

"yes?"

He was standing right next to your sunbed, dripping wet and blocking out the sun.

"don't ya need sunscreen?"

A soft smile pulled at your lips.

Ten minutes, that's how long it took for him to come up with that.

"I put it on already"

He wasn't gonna give up, not on the first try.

"how long ago?"

"an hour, I think"

"the sun's real strong now doll," he said, drying his hair with a towel before throwing it on his bed "I think it's best if you put some more on… I can do it for you if you don't feel like it"

You chuckled, looking up at him, but he stayed in character, continuing to look oh-so worried about your safety.

"Somehow I knew that offer was coming"

"'m just worried about my wife, 's all"

he'd crouched down, taking your hand in his

"mh-mh" you hummed, sarcasm tracing your tone

"can't have you get sunburt now, can we?"

"no, we can't" you played along, smiling at him

"'f course" he murmured, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on your lips as he grabbed the sunscreen.

"I'm so lucky to have such a caring husband"

"I'm the only lucky one babydoll"

He gave you one more kiss, before he leaned away and got to work.

He squeezed some cream into his hand, but to your surprise, his hands didn't land where you'd expected them to-

Only his eyes were betraying him. They were only on one, or actually two things even when it was your legs he was massaging.

The coldness of the cream and his hands felt good against your warm body, so much you couldn't help but hum appreciatively.

"feels good?"

"yeah baby" you breathed as his hands made their way to your thighs.

It always amazed you how hands so big, rough, and strong were able to be so gentle and soft on you.

You couldn't deny the shivers running up your body when his fingers reached your inner thighs, getting close to your core.

"what's that?" your husband was smirking like a cat, as he dedicated himself much too long on that spot.

"I didn't say anything"

If he thought this was gonna work, he was wrong. It was too hot, and you were too relaxed to do what he so obviously wanted to do... although you both knew how much you liked seeing him desperate...

He still didn't touch your boobs, no, next were your shoulders, then your arms, and then... when he felt on the brink of exploding, when he couldn't stop himself anymore, he squeezed a generous amount of sunscreen in his hands, and oh so gently started massaging your tits.

He couldn't stop a soft groan from fleeing his lips.

It felt amazing- of course it felt amazing, but you didn't wanna give him the satisfaction, and this was mostly for him, not for you, so your eyes remained closed as you pretended like it was nothing.

But that only lasted so long, because Joel could endure just about 30 seconds of that before he was bending down, and his mouth was sucking your nipple.

"Joel!" you gasped, your eyes snapping open just in time to see him climb onto you to straddle your waist, and then go right back to groping and licking and sucking your nipples like it was his life long duty.

"baby you're all wet" you tried complaining, but the smile on your lips was everlasting.

He looked so damingly cute like this, looking up at you with those big doe eyes as he worshipped your tits.

"so are you"

And yeah so what if you were- there's only so much a woman can do in front of this.

A soft laugh spilled from your lips as your hand went to find a place in his hair, your back arching to offer more of yourself to him.

"I don't even know how good it is for you to be licking sunscreen"

The look he gave you made it very clear he didn't give one single fuck.

And just when you were about to protest again, his teeth had gently bit your nipple, and a moan had spilled from your lips.

he took that as an incentive to go further, his hand slowly sliding down your belly, between your bodies, until it was seeping underneath your bikini bottoms.

"babe-" you stopped him, your voice breathless

His hand stopped on your mound as he groaned in frustration.

You could feel his rock-hard cock on you since the moment he straddled you- the man was desperate.

"please doll" he murmured against the soft skin of your chest in between kisses "Gimmie something-anything” he pleaded “Have mercy on your poor husband"

Your response was mixed between a laugh and a moan

"I can take care of you if you want"

He shook his head, his teeth grazing your nipple "Need to feel you darlin’"

Again, a soft giggle rumbled from your chest

"’S too hot to have sex here baby"

His hand had gotten out of your bikini to reach the other on your waist.

"the pool- the ground? fuck- anywhere you want sugar, just tell me where"

His clothed hard-on was rubbing against your core now, and fuck but once again you’d succumbed to Joel and his goddamn irresistible neediness.

"bring me back into the house"

It was like he’d been waiting his whole life to hear those words.

In a haze of kisses and lust, he’d picked you up, letting you hold onto him by wrapping your arms and legs around his body as he hurriedly walked into the house.

He didn’t make it far enough to encounter a single surface- and perhaps that was because he’d stopped looking and placed you against the wall the moment he’d passed the threshold.

His mouth was on your tits again, his cock was out, and his fingers had pulled your bikini to the side.

He said nothing as he slowly began entering you, the only sounds in the room being your moan as you threw your head back, and the groan he emitted, muffled by your skin.

“Oh fuck” you cried once he bottomed out.

Your husband was a very gifted man.

"'m not gonna last"

He sounded like the mere act of talking was taking all of his energy, and yet he was thrusting up into you like it was a matter of life or death.

"'s ok"

"I've been hard since you took your top off" he murmured, his breath fanning over your chest “you-you-jesus”

Your left hand passed through his hair, softly soothing him.

“‘S alright baby, don’t wait for me”

“You’re too fuckin’-” he tried to speak, but he was interrupted by yet another groan

“What?” you taunted him, a smirk pulling at your lips “what is it baby?”

His eyes were wide with desperation as he looked up at you, as his mouth stole languid kisses from your tits.

“Too hot- too goddamn perfect”

You bit down a grin at that, still stroking his hair

“I love you baby” you breathed, his cock reaching the deepest, most fucking amazing spot inside you in the meantime.

The moment those words left your lips your husband was fucked- the only words he was able to mutter were a series of -fuckshitgoddamn- before he inevitably reached his peak, filling you up with rope after rope of come that never seemed to end.

He remained like that for a little while, buried inside you, eyes closed, mouth still connected with your boob, until you left a gentle kiss on the crown of his head, and he woke up from his heavenly trance.

He let out a soft groan as he slipped out of you, and took his time letting you down.

You were smiling at him with that soft smile that melted his insides right up, and he couldn’t help but lean in and kiss it, kiss you like you were a soft delicate thing that he was scared of breaking.

“I love you more” he promised, kissing you again, even if you were smiling.

“Feel better now?”

You said it like he was a kid with a stomach bug, and he couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Yeah darlin’” he murmured against your mouth “thank you”

“You don’t have to thank me” you laughed, but he was already shaking his head

“Yes I do”

And without further explanation, he’d dropped to his knees.

He slid your bikini to the side once again, looking up at you with only adoration in his eyes.

“Baby you don’t have to” you tried to reason with him, but his mouth was already latched to your clit, and your hand had already flown to his hair.

He remained on your bud long enough to make you desperate, and then he started focusing on your whole core, his tongue lapping between your folds with what could only be described as feral hunger.

His come was everywhere, and yet he didn’t care, he was happy tasting the mix of your fluids, because that’s how Joel was- a nasty nasty man- only for you.

So much so that you felt his tongue enter your hole, simulating what he was doing just minutes before with his cock.

“Fuck-babe-”

Your moans were breathless, more like whines, like prayers.

You were looking at him as he was looking at you and Jesus... He looked fucking heavenly.

His hair all tussled from your fingers, his blown-out pupils, his never-stopping tongue-

“Joel” you cried, but he didn’t dare speak a word as he went back to your clit.

“Shit-baby- god!”

You had to tighten your hold on his hair as your orgasm crept up your body- and it was as you heard him groan with pleasure, as he sucked your clit into his mouth like a man starved, that it all came crumbling down, and you felt your body light on fire as your climax took over.

You were moaning and crying into the air for a good minute before you were sane again.

Only Joel hadn’t stopped eating you out for a single second, and even then, he looked like he had no intention of doing so

“Baby-baby” you whimpered, having to literally pull him away from your core.

He was smiling like a kid, and you couldn’t help but follow suit.

He put your bikini back in place, and then stood up, his hands lingering on your waist

“You’re crazy”

He couldn’t help but kiss you before answering,

“You make me”

[vor-leser]

"AM provided punk and we burned it, sitting huddled around the wan and pathetic fire, telling stories to keep Benny from crying in his permanent night."

[fanaticalthings]

Jason being the easiest kid is super funny. Bruce looking at Jason and remembering Dick at 18: “we can work through this. He’ll come around if I don’t give up on.”

Bruce, watching over a freshly street-snatched Jason: Why is he so calm

Having Dick as the rambunctious, feral, and unhinged first child must've given him SO much whiplash once Jason entered the picture. Lil guy just vibed in his own world. Just reading books and doing schoolwork. Baby Jason hurt nobody.

Bruce will just be going over the ground rules of the manor, remembering all the chaos Dick brought upon the household.

Bruce: No swinging from the chandelier.

Jason: ?? I wasn't planning to?

Bruce: No murder.

Jason: What? That never even crossed my mind-

Bruce: And please, for the love of God, don't sneak out and try to beat up the nearest criminal on our block

Jason:

Jason: WHO is responsible for these rules being created??

Bruce will just come home from a long day of work. He's tired and just wants a nice, quiet evening, but he's subconsciously psyching himself up to prepare himself for the chaos he'll witness once he enters the manor

but then Jason's just quietly doing his own thing, maybe even helping Alfred with some chores, reading, or just lounging about in the manor. In general, just causing no trouble and Bruce just turns to Alfred, all worried like, "Is he sick? I don't think children are supposed to behave this way."

[nedeii]

[hipsternumbertwo]

The Breakfast Story 🥞

[hiddenmoonbeam]

Sirius as Red Riding Hood making his voice more and more seductive with each new "and what big x you have" until the Wolf isn't sure what's going on anymore.

or,

Sirius, who has heard rumours about a wolf eating people and wants to investigate, wanders through the woods. He finds Remus, a werewolf cursed to stay in his wolf form, who lives a hermit life in a little hut away from society. He has a cute vegetable garden and everything, trying hard to live a good life and do no harm. Sirius knocks on his door, and as he sees this beautiful wolf-man dressed in normal human clothes, obviously trying to look less intimidating, he's enamoured. But he hasn't forgotten what he came there for so he starts investigating. However, his flirty questions and comments don't really lead to any answers, besides making Remus more and more flustered. The poor wolf-man isn't sure what to do or make of this bold and handsome stranger insisting on returning every day until the mystery has been solved...

Happy birthday week to @polaroidcats who keeps trying to curse my fairytale aus, so here's one made specially with and for her <3

[ellitx]

Entrapment | Alastor x Reader

Okay, hear me out. Alastor being a darling husband he is with his darling wifey is cute and all, but what about a darling wanting to escape from Alastor himself?

word count: 2.3k

warnings: alastor is enough to be a warning already, depictions of blood and gore, toxic and unhealthy dynamic

When you were still alive, he always had his eyes on you and controlled you like his little puppet. You hated it, you hated being commanded and controlled for every little thing you did and if you even dared run away from him, he’d always manage to find you. You hate every atomic part of his existence so much that you’d be willing to kill yourself just so you could escape and get that taste of freedom.

But you can’t and he won’t let you.

Alastor would never allow the tip of the knife nor even a simple piece of office equipment reach your hands. And if someone has the audacity to touch his play toy, it’s time to say goodbye.

You know he’s a malicious murderer, and he knows that you know about it. If you’re feeling brave enough to tell it to the police then go ahead, because by the time you report this to them and leave the station, the next day you find yourself throwing up yesterday’s dinner upon hearing the cops were all dead.

No one will ever believe you that the infamous radio host of your city is a murderer. For a puny citizen like you, what power do you hold to convince everyone? They’ll laugh it off and say you’re crazy.

But it’s crazier how they are all deceived by the facade he puts on. His knife plunged into the chest of your coworker, their blood spluttering on his cheek.

Alastor’s wide smile was strained and wicked, the image of the blood dripping from your head and lips when he entered the broadcasting booth was as clear as his collection of polished knives.

The audacity to lay a hand on you and push you down the stairs. Do they have the right to push you off? Of course not! He’s the only one who could torment you until you break!

He’s the only one who could tarnish your being and leave a wounded mark on your soul and heart, a reminder for you there’s no one but himself who could make you so powerless and helpless.

Do they have the right to make you so confused? To put all the blame on you, as if you were the worst person in the world? To try their best to tear you apart piece by piece? Because, after all, it’s always the fault of someone else, right? The audacity to hurt you more than any human has ever hurt another human being before… The nerve to be sure you will never find true happiness again because you're now scarred for life.

He thrust the blade again, the rains of scarlet droplets continued to pour until his face and glasses were doused.

But he didn’t let it hinder him from making sure they were as good as dead. He lifted his head and took a glimpse at the sky above. It was gloomy, gray, and dark. Not much sunshine.

Alastor smiled, stabbing the knife at the corpse's chest before wiping off his glasses with his clean napkin. Then an idea clicked onto him.

It's the perfect time to give you a little visit.

He laughed under his breath and stood up straight.

He knew his outfit was not in good condition, but oh well... Perhaps, he’d instead leave a gift for you on your porch. Oh, how he wished he could make an unexpected appearance, just to witness the shock and horror on your face as Alastor comes to the hospital drenched in a coat of glistening crimson.

The anticipation of your reaction fueled his excitement, the more he thought about it, the bigger his grin became. If this would truly happen, it will surely be a sight to behold.

Still fragile from your time in the hospital, you stepped through the threshold of your home.

You missed the sight of its familiar structure, the only space you feel safe and protected, away from Alastor and your colleagues.

A sense of relief washed over you. The familiar sights and comforting aura of your own space enveloped you like a warm embrace. But something was different, something unexpected awaited you.

There on the polished surface of your entryway sat an elegantly wrapped box, its rich paper adorned with intricate patterns and tied with a luxurious ribbon. Your fingers traced the smooth edges of the packaging and you checked for any signs who sent it. Alas, no name was found.

Who could have left this for you? And why now, upon your return from the hospital?

You had a bad feeling about it.

As you carefully untied the ribbon and peeled back the layers of paper, you stared wide-eyed at the contents hidden within.

Severed limbs, skin deathly pale and stiff.

Your stomach turned violently and you threw the box away from you, the gift spilling across the floor.

"Oh god, oh my god, what the fuck?!"

You were shaking. What was this? Was this a threat? A sick joke? Your heart thudded heavily in your chest, each beat pounding like thunder. You took a step back and stumbled, falling hard to the floor.

It didn't stop there.

Wounds inflicted on every part of your body, the scars on you began to open, rendering the healing done by doctors and nurses useless.

Wounds made by knives, claws, scissors, guns. Every imaginable instrument of torture. You cried out loud. Your voice pierced the quiet of the night, disturbing the tranquility of the neighborhood.

It was a perpetual and horrid nightmare. Just closing your eyes for even a millisecond, the image of his wide creepy smile flashed before you. You could hear his dark cackles, enjoying the sight of your vulnerable form as he tormented you in and out of your work.

“Run as far as you want, dear. In the end, I’ll always be ahead of you.”

The worst part was not knowing when he would strike next. He could appear anywhere at any time.

And it was all because of his sick game.

You didn't know what to do anymore. How long did you have to keep running from him? How many more days did you have to hide from the world? You were so tired of this, tired of having to live in fear of the monster that hunted you.

But God had finally heard your pleas and granted the wish you’ve been wanting for so long. So when the news came to you that the notorious radio host was dead, relief and happiness flooded every vein in your body.

You rejoiced, celebrating the death of the one who had terrorized you for a long time.

The nightmare was finally over.

The radio station was sullen by the news of their popular host, but you didn’t care. Your work became more efficient. You didn’t feel the need to be so wary and anxious by every move you made in the station. You have finally gained your freedom and the chain that was tied to him has shattered.

This was the best thing you could ever ask for.

Even on your deathbed, it was the best dream. Years without Alastor torturing and tormenting you was bliss. A man’s greatest wealth of freedom.

But then, the dream quickly turned into a nightmare, for it was never over. The demon who you thought was dead rose once again. It was only then you realized that he was never human in the first place. He was a monster.

And now, it was you who were caught in his web.

"My, what a wonderful reunion. Did you miss me, darling?”

The demon before you was mysterious.

Unfamiliar.

But his aura and voice screamed for you, the alarms in your body ringing, to run away from him as far as you possibly can.

The wide smile plastered on his face was all too familiar. Too familiar to be hated in the living and the dead. You’d be a fool if you didn’t recognize it.

You knew who he was. You just kept on denying what was the truth, brushing all the facts laid before you beneath the rag, and keeping your pretty little head away from the politics of Hell.

A demon who is powerful, dangerous, and cruel.

A demon who was feared by the other demons in Hell. A demon who is not to be messed with.

Alastor. The Radio Demon.

It was a miracle, or rather a curse, that you were brought back to life. But now you are a prisoner to this Hell. Trapped inside an inescapable cage with a dangerous beast, you could only hope that your second death would come quickly and peacefully.

But it seemed that fate was not on your side, and Alastor was the ever cruel demon. He did not scar you easily and instead prolonged your suffering, making your life a living torture.

Beads of sweat rolled from your temple. Your hands began to tremble and you felt yourself slowly succumbing to your fear. You had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.

You were cornered, trapped.

Alastor had you where he wanted.

You watched him closely, eyes locked on him and every single movement. If he did something, you would see it.

"Are you frightened, dear?" he asked. His eyes met yours and he smiled. "There is no need to be afraid."

"Stay back! Don't touch me!" you shouted at him. The corners of his lips curled up, his smile turning sinister.

"Now, now, let's not act too hastily."

His gloved hand reached out and caressed your cheek, sending shivers down your spine. His red eyes bore into your soul, burning with hunger.

You couldn't bear to look at him. You didn't want him touching you.

"Don't," you whimpered.

"Don't be afraid. You have no reason to be afraid."

Rivers of tears streamed down your cheeks as the fear overwhelmed you. You didn't want him touching you. This man... He was the same one who hurt you, who ruined you.

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you here?"

The smile on his face grew wider.

"Do I need a reason? It’s obvious why we’re here," he replied, cocking his head to the side, eyes piercing through your eyes and consuming every little bit of your reactions in his head.

You gulped and stepped back, trying to create some distance between you and him.

"What are you going to do with me?"

He chuckled. "What a silly question! Would a little reacquaintance hurt?"

Reacquaintance? He was talking like this was a casual meeting. Like you were old friends reuniting. But this was the man who hurt you.

"What's the meaning of this?” You sobbed, shaking your head.

Alastor laughed loudly, his grin never faltering, and it makes you sick he finds everything amusing. An entertainment for his delight.

"You never fail to amuse me, dear. Aren’t you the one who killed me?” His antlers grew, his pupils changed to radio dials and his shadow stretched out of him, becoming more demonic in appearance.

You trembled. Your heart beat faster, your legs felt weak, and your mouth was dry.

"I... I…."

He stepped closer, and you stepped back.

Nothing came out of your lips. The words you wanted to say were stuck in your throat. You didn't want to look him in the eyes but his gaze held your chin up high, forcing you to face him. He smiled, and his eyes turned back to normal.

The knees that kept you upright gave in, unable to stabilize you any longer as your body slumped onto the rough pavement.

"Oh, darling," he sighed, the radio static in his voice disappeared as he crouched down. 

Your gaze remained fixed on the ground, avoiding any chance encounter with Alastor's piercing stare. Instead, your eyes trailed to his cane, a silent witness to the tense atmosphere between you.

You dared not meet those fiery red optics that seemed to delve into the depths of your very being, dissecting every nuance of your expression. Fingers clenched tightly, you seek some form of solace in the texture of the barren earth beneath you, as though it could take you amidst the storm brewing within.

Alastor took your chin between his fingers and delighted your vulnerable form. Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy and cheeks stained with tears.

"Fate has intertwined us together, dear. Run from me, I’ll always find you."

You didn't know what was more cruel—being brought to hell when you only wished for peace or being toyed around with him after death.

The nightmare you once thought had finally ceased returned to resume its cycle in the afterlife.

"I'll never get away from you..." You said, voice low and wavering. All hope was lost and so was your faith to continue living in this fiery pit of Hell.

"That's right. Good girl," He patted your head, taking a few strands of your hair and twirling it between his fingers. You fought the impulse to recoil, suppressing the urge to swat his hand away. 

The consequence of such defiance weighed heavily on your mind; after all, provoking one of hell's overlords was a gamble you weren't willing to take. So you held your ground, masking your inner turmoil beneath a facade of obedience, unsure of what consequences awaited should you dare to challenge the infernal authority before you.

In the dim light, his hand tenderly brushed away the tear tracing its path down your cheek. But as your eyes met his, a glint of something primal flickered in the darkness, casting an eerie glow upon his sharp, yellowed teeth.

Upon the moonlight, his crimson irises blazed like embers, drawing you into their hypnotic depths with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine.

"But fear not, darling. I can promise you a good time. And now that I found you again, we can pick up from where we left off. It will be just like old times."

[happyheidi]

. amazing art by Sarah Nilsson. IG: justfrogetaboutit

[pavpavlova]

Pig(eon) in a blanket ❤️

[spirk-trek]

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending my very first Trekfest in 📍 Riverside, Iowa [future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk]

[bleue-flora]

Ok, so can we talk about Punz for a second? Because like when I rewatched that stream the other day, not only did I notice that it was Punz who avenged Dream by killing Tommy and returning all of his stuff, after Sapnap and Tommy had ambushed Dream and refused to return it [details] (making him truly the mvp, who really doesn’t get enough credit). But I also noticed some other fun things.

Specially this.

And this.

Tommy punches Dream -> immediately killed by Punz [clip].

Like okay maybe we could make the point that Dream pays him to kill Tommy and reclaim all of his stuff [clip], but pretty sure Dream isn’t paying him to be so protective.

[fr0ggyyyyyyy]

family photo

[bklily]

Harveston was a very fun event (that I really wanted to post about before lmao life got in the way)

I never expected this wacky group of individuals to have such a fun dynamic but then again, such is the nature of TWST innit

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

you think kankri and cronus

like all the dancestors, kankri and cronus mirror their counterparts (and as we all know, karkat and eridan are soul mates), but the brief interaction we do see of them makes them seem pretty toxic for each other. i think it's funny for that reason though!

Karkat and Kankri both love going on long, endless rants and walls of text, but where Karkat fills his spiels with self-loathing, Kankri fills his with incredible smugness and self-satisfaction (often calling his spiels "sermons" or "lectures" before catching himself and correcting them to "discussions" or "conversations," which have a less one-sided "i'm right and you're wrong" connotation). Moreover, where Karkat loves all his friends, and masks that under disdainful insults and screaming obscenities, Kankri tends to hold his friends in contempt, masking that under kind language and politeness.

KANKRI: And really, it's every9ne's 6usiness t9 examine their privilege, even 6urgundies, wh9 may 6e su6ject t9 the pitfall 9f 6elieving inc9rrectly there are n9ne 9n the scale 6eneath them wh9m they enj9y certain privileges 9ver, which 9ff-spectrum tr9lls will never kn9w, such as th9se identifying as 9ther6l99ds 9r caste-multiples, "p9ly6l99ded", any wh9 hem9gl96ically ID as having a caste which manifests n9where (as yet kn9wn) in any9ne physically, 9r f9r that matter 9ffspecs wh9 physically d9 p9ssess such a 6l99d type, 9r "mutants" (VERY pr96lematic term, highly triggering t9 s9me, 6e warned), such as y9u and I, Karkat.

Translation: lowbloods think they have it SO HARD, try being a mutant 🙄

KANKRI: I just think there is inherent danger in muddying the waters 9f disc9urse 6y intr9ducing s9cial issues which are suspect at 6est, thus c9nsuming crucial res9urces fr9m the limited cache 9f rhet9ric which pr9pels these narratives. And furtherm9re, 9ne c9uld argue it's m9re than a little pr96lematic, 9ffensive even, f9r y9u t9 6e appr9priating the lexic9n 9f sensitivity used t9 advance awareness 9f maj9r issues, thus reducing it t9 the level 6uzzspeak and pseud9science. It makes it m9re difficult f9r th9se 9f us wh9 are genuinely f9cused 9n p9sitive change t9 6e taken seri9usly, that's all. PORRIM: Appro+priating?? #That's no+t #what that even #means? PORRIM: PSEUDOSCIENCE??? #Yo+u did no+t just… KANKRI: I'm s9rry, I just d9n't think there's much there. We aren't like humans, wh9se species 6izarrely en9ugh includes highly specialized r9les f9r 69th sexes in the pr9cess 9f repr9ducti9n, and s9 this naturally had s9cial ramificati9ns f9r the way their civilizati9n ev9lved. 6ut that's n9t h9w it w9rks f9r us, s9 I fail t9 see h9w gender fact9rs int9 the discussi9n in a way that can 6e effectively and rati9nally pr96lematized. Where is the r99m f9r unexamined privilege in the dich9t9my? I d9n't see it. And appr9priating the talking p9ints and awareness-raising tactics f9r du6i9us issues like this is, frankly, fr9wned up9n, t9 put it p9litely. Such appr9priative gestures 9nly serve t9 marginalize and invalidate th9se su6ject t9 seri9us, real life struggles and 9ppressi9n, and I guess I'm a little disapp9inted t9 see y9u 6eing s9 6lithely and inappr9priately appr9priat9ry. #Fr9wned up9n #Fr9wns all ar9und #Welc9me t9 fr9wn t9wn PORRIM: Kanny, I'm starting to+ feel just a little bit triggered by all this "appro+priatio+n" bullshit. #Trigger warning: #Abo+ut to+ kick yo+ur tall pantsed ass KANKRI: 9h! My sincere ap9l9gies. I sh9uld have d9ne a 6etter j96 tagging my statements, 6ut f9r future reference, it's helpful t9 alert y9ur c9nversati9nal partners t9 y9ur triggers well in advance. Sh9uld I g9 fetch y9ur m9irail t9 help settle y9u d9wn? And if s9, wh9 exactly w9uld 6e filling that quadrant t9day? #It's the may9r, right? #G9tta 6e the may9r

Translation: Stop trying to steal my spotlight by bringing up your own social justice pursuits. Shut the fuck up. Oh, are you offended? Maybe you should go cry to your moirail. Slut. God I hate women.

KANKRI: 9n the 9ther hand, if I'm 6eing h9nest, I've f9und Mituna's entire existence t9 6e a pretty pr96lematic impediment t9 the advancement and 9verall awareness 9f a6leism and its painful manif9ld c9nsequences f9r una6ilitied pers9ns. The speech impediment, frankly, I c9uld d9 with9ut, and I'm 6y n9 means ecstatic 9ver his t9rrential 6ig9try and h9stility. 9n the 9ne hand, I want t9 6e sensitive t9 him as a pers9n and as a friend, 6ut 9n the 9ther, what kind 9f message d9es his 6ehavi9r send? And frankly, I'm n9t crazy a69ut the helmet, either. MITUNA: W4LT5 WR00NG W17H MY H4ML37 8( KANKRI: N9thing, friend, it's a really c99l helmet and it's a g99d l99k f9r y9u. 6ut are we n9w t9 assume that all th9se wh9 are stricken with y9ur particular disadvantage9n will 6e similarly pr9ne t9 require such headgear, due t9 falling d9wn and hitting their heads frequently? MITUNA: 8U7H 1 D0 F4LL D0WN 4ND H157 MY H34D FR3QUN3UN74NY KANKRI: 9h, I kn9w y9u d9, and I think y9u sh9uld c9ntinue wearing it f9r y9ur safety, particularly if y9u c9ntinue t9 insist 9n fl9undering a69ut 9n y9ur danger9us t9y. It's m9re a69ut the unf9rtunate message y9u are sending 9verall, with certain aspects 9f y9ur pers9nality and existence, that's all. MITUNA: 1M 50RRY KANKRI: As a friend, I w9uldn't want t9 change anything a69ut y9u, well, n9t m9st things. I just think y9u may n9t 6e d9ing y9urself 9r th9se wh9 are similarly disadvantaged any fav9rs with, what I'm h9ping, is a perfectly inn9cent array 9f traits and mannerisms. 8ut again, I say this with all due sensitivity. MEENAH: vantas youre being a shit dont talk about him like that

Translation: Mituna, you're such a goddamn embarrassment, I wish everything about you was completely different.

The big difference between Beforus and Alternia is also the definition of "culling," which on one meant killing and the other meant coddling. Naturally, this is its own form of oppression, as the longer-lived highbloods still hold great power over the lives and fates of those deemed cull-worthy, which includes a lot of lowbloods, and definitely mutants like Kankri who didn't have a lusus. However, it creates a different kind of mindset from that of more standard abuse, like what Karkat suffered for his off-spectrum nature - where Karkat spent every day fearing for his life and cursing himself:

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. As was previously mentioned, it is your WRIGGLING DAY, which is barely even worth mentioning. It is an anniversary, if anything, to lament the faults of your existence, of which there are assuredly plenty.

Kankri was experiencing the opposite: being told that his mutation made him exceptional, made him special, made him MORE worthy of attention and praise than other people. At the same time, his agency was taken away from him, but the thing is, being 13 when he started the game, I don't necessarily think he'd have missed that - around the age of 13 is when kids START to crave agency, and he got it by playing the game. Kankri's dialogue suggests to me that he genuinely believes in his superiority to the people around him, more in line with being spoilt.

This is why, although he talks a big game about how bad casteism is, and how you shouldn't say slurs because they're offensive, he still unironically uses the term "Royal-V" to refer to violet bloods and chastises Mituna for calling Meenah a wader, which is an anti-seadweller (and anti-seadweller apologist) insult. Sure, he acknowledges within that chastisement that because Meenah and Royal-V's DO have privilege, the weight of the insult is not exactly the same, but then he follows up by saying that he wishes everything about Mituna was different, to the point MEENAH feels the need to defend him.

This is because Kankri is a fucking wader.

If you'll notice, he's actually quite agreeable and sympathetic to Meenah (despite Meenah being a confirmed bully, especially to the team rustblood):

KANKRI: Wh9a, Meenah. I didn't see y9u c9me in. Y9u sh9uld have c9me say hell9. ... KANKRI: I've als9 heard y9u're recruiting mem6ers f9r a militia? An9ther 69ld endeav9r. N9t surprising, th9ugh. 6ef9re y9u em6ark, I d9 h9pe y9u'll set aside at least several sweeps t9 listen t9 s9me 9f my…

KANKRI: And Meenah, while I can understand y9ur frustrati9n 9ver 6eing ver6ally assaulted under any circumstance, it is incum6ent 9n me t9 remind y9u that Mituna requires a certain am9unt 9f special c9nsiderati9n and m9re than a little patience. Please try t9 resist taking his 6ait, which I'm guessing is m9stly well intended(?), 6ef9re its c9ntenti9us undert9w pulls y9u further int9 an exchange laden with deeply pr96lematic expressi9ns 9f a6leism, a6leist slurs, and 9ther such manifestati9ns 9f unc9nsci9na6ly unchecked a6ility privilege.  #a6leism #a6ility privilege #6ait #undert9w #are the aquatic terms helping?

... And he's nice to Cronus. I just don't think it's a coincidence that Kankri is super mean and shitty to land dwellers, while being super kind to the two sea dwellers on the team, the caste he was presumably culled (raised) by - to the point of emulating their aquatic terms to try and ingratiate himself to them (something Karkat thinks is stupid and cringe.).

KARKAT: (not really.) #SHELLF IMPORTANT ABALONEY? #GODDAMN SEADWELLERS

And that brings us to Cronus. Now, I've written extensively about how Eridan is not actually casteist, but the TL;DR is that Eridan genuinely doesn't treat people differently based on their caste, but it's societally expected of him and he has an overwhelming amount of anxiety about living up to those expectations, so he will say a lot of slurs. He and Feferi are actually the only two highbloods that never say anything disparaging about Karkat's blood color.

In contrast, Cronus is a casteist; where Eridan tries to play up how casteist he is while secretly not being so, Cronus does the opposite and tries to play down how casteist he is while secretly being so.

CRONUS: nowv, please don't tell anyone i said so, but you and i both knowv pretty much all these people should feel honored to go out vwith a guy like me. CRONUS: vwhat being royalty and all, and not evwen slightly put off by dating dowvn on the spectrum. i mean, really, howv much more evwident can i make it to evweryone that im really a cool, progressivwe, easy going dude, vwho doesnt take the social order seriously or buy into any of the stereotypes? first of all, as if the hemospectrum scene isnt 8EYOND played out. #you should be sticking your fork in THAT CRONUS: i barely EVWER evwen bring up my high social status. it couldnt be LESS of a big deal to me, but i think people maybe are still intimidated by it? theyre probably putting me on a pedestal, in spite of all my easy going assurances that my royal lineage is something i nevwer evwen think about. like, no friend, i am just like you. vwe laugh at the same jokes, listen to, vwell, to some extent, the same music… #i at least USED to listen to music you like #does that count? CRONUS: all these cats and kittens, im telling you. theyre alvways drawvn to the freaks and rejects. you havwe to be 8ROKEN in some vway to get a little concupiscent attention. #cats #kittens #freaks #rejects #broken

You got a whole bunch of SEA DWELLER BLING! It's pretty obvious this all belongs to Cronus over there. He's just not wearing it right now so he can convince everyone he doesn't feel like his royalty status is a big deal, even though he does.

Moreover, we get a direct parallel to Eridan's final conversation between him, Feferi, and Sollux, with the interaction Cronus has with Meenah and Mituna - in both cases, the violet-blood has a crush on their fuchsia, while probably having some sort of blackrom thing with the mustard (ashen for Eridan, pitch for Cronus). The differences really highlight how different the two are.

First, Eridan doesn't actually mean all the casteist things he says to Sollux - we know this because he's actually mentioned Sollux twice before, and both times, felt no need to comment on Sollux's lowblood status at all. Eridan is so transparently full of shit that even his own teammates don't think he's actually being casteist, and instead take it as ashenflirting:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)( you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspiticize between you two, and pull us out of your quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

But while Eridan leads with casteism he doesn't mean, after being rejected by his fuchsia blood, Cronus rounds on Mituna to vent his frustration, revealing HIS real feelings:

CRONUS: i said shut up. do you havwe any idea vwhat a man of my class vwould do if a mustard blood like you spoke to me this vway on alternia? honestly, sometimes i think i vwas hatched in the vwrong univwerse, let ALONE the vwrong body. CRONUS: i am so sick of havwing to pretend to treat you vwith the dignity you vwouldnt deservwe evwen if you COULD count the scars on my forehead. you couldnt tell me the ansvwer if i asked vwhat your favworite number vwas. ... CRONUS: you are a brain damaged reject on a team full of rejects. a rejects reject. i vwould havwe culled you myself if that vword meant vwhat it should havwe on our planet.

Moreover, Eridan is genuinely wracked with emotional anguish basically 24/7, but he refuses to allow anyone else to provide him with emotional support, lashing out at Feferi when she insinuates that she's been taking care of him up to that point.

CC: I can’t look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

On the other hand, Cronus outright admits that his constant talk of being a "sensitivwe soul" is bullshit he uses to attract the ladies:

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY CRONUS: no youre not. youre lying. CRONUS: your vwhole bifurcated demeanor is such an act. half the time you are noxious and incomprehensible, and the other half you are mild and contrite? sure, "PAL." CRONUS: as if im not SO on to you. you only pretend to say youre sorry to get girls to like you more. sure seems like pyropes a sucker for the ruse. like im not familiar vwith THOSE tactics. vwho do you think vwrote the book on that??

CRONUS: guess ill attempt ghost suicide YET AGAIN. CRONUS: of course by vwhich i mean, tell people i did, to vwin sympathy points. MITUNA: D0357H H47 W0RK CRONUS: not really.

This isn't to say that Cronus doesn't have legitimate emotional issues - just that they aren't the ones he says that they are. When Aranea is expositing on Cronus to Meenah, she winds up explaining that Cronus used to believe in a prophecy where he was Harry Potter and LE was Voldemort, and that it was his destiny to destroy this evil wizard, but that his team basically bullied that belief out of him:

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. [...] I'm unsure why he suffered this crisis of faith, aside from the o8vious reasons having to do with an overall lack of character, or any other redeeming qualities. Perhaps someone talked him out of his 8eliefs. May8e a friend close to him. Or, if one is to 8elieve his fantasy held any water, perhaps someone who was in league with the evil magician. Whatever the case, it was pro8a8ly for the 8est, since pretty much everyone who had half a think pan thought it was all a 8unch of ridiculous nonsense.

Which, you know, given that he was their HOPE player, was probably a not-good thing that they did. Put a pin in this conversation, we'll return to it in a bit.

His humankin stuff is mostly treated as a joke, but it's also a symptom of this - we know that it's actually a portal to something Cronus genuinely feels bad about, because despite complaining about how you need to have something wrong with you to get concupiscent action, he's uncomfortable bringing it up to Meenah.

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now MEENAH: that true CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn.

He's a Hope player who lost what he believes in - so his actual emotional problems stem from directionlessness, exacerbated by the fact that he's generally untalented, feels entitled due to his high caste and resentful that it's not being respected, and doesn't seem to have any real goals aside from sleeping with other people (and now he's dead). As a result, he's clung onto this idea that maybe the reason he feels so empty inside is because he's not actually a troll - not wanting to be himself, he tries to be something else.

So let's go back to the pin we put into Aranea talking about how he was talked out of his beliefs. Cronus very nearly reaches self-awareness about how being humankin is just a cover for his actual emotional problems... and then "a friend close to him" - maybe the only friend close to him that he has - talked him out of that epiphany.

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with. CRONUS: yeah, youre probably right. she doesnt appreciate me. so fevw of you cats do, really. #evwen the ones vwho literally identify as cats CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up. KANKRI: I'd 6e extremely disapp9inted t9 hear that, if it were true. That w9uld 6e such a slap in the face t9 all th9se wh9 kn9w themselves t9 6e an alien while trapped in the pedestrian 69dy 9f their 9wn race. It w9uld 6e unspeaka6ly invalidating 9f their struggles and massively triggering t9 their em9ti9ns. #TW #invalidated struggles #triggered em9ti9ns KANKRI: 6ut f9rtunately, I kn9w y9u w9uld never st99p as l9w as that. Y9u understanda6ly have d9u6ts a69ut y9ur feelings and pr96a6ly d9wnplay them as a defense mechanism, since s9 few are prepared t9 rec9gnize the legitimacy 9f y9ur plight. 6ut I am, and I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem. CRONUS: vwowv. thanks, pal. CRONUS: youre right. my feelings really are real. not fake, like the huge disappointing fraud that magic turned out to be. CRONUS: i guess the truth is, deep dowvn i alvways knewv i vwas a 1950s-style human greaser. CRONUS: i just needed to finally be introduced to human culture to make sense of those feelings. KANKRI: W9nderful. I'm s9 happy y9u have f9und the light 9f truth within y9urself. N9w j9in me in tagging 9ur discussi9n with righte9us warnings, as we c9nsecrate y9ur disadvantage in the h9ly annals 9f Pr96lematics.

She also mentions it might have been someone "in league with the evil wizard," which would indicate Damara or Kurloz, but he never mentions Damara even once, and he actually seems to be on neutral terms with Kurloz:

and i vwouldnt dare to intrude on your longstanding moirallegiance vwith kurloz, and not because he scares the shit out of me either. that just really seems to vwork, you and him, doesnt it? i dont get a peep out of him of course, not evwen if im super nice and compliment his hideous hair[.]

So since we literally see Kankri exacerbating Cronus's problem by not only insisting that he not introspect, but expresses that he would be extremely disappointed in Cronus if Cronus did, I'm inclined to believe that the one who talked the Hope player into giving up his Hope beliefs was Kankri.

So what I'm saying is, if Karkat and Eridan are beautiful soul mates who make each other better in basically every way, Kankri and Cronus are incredibly toxic for each other and are in desperate need of a fucking auspice. Somebody please middle leaf these two, they cannot be left alone. Kankri's wader tendencies validate Cronus's entitlement and stagnation, and Kankri loves manipulating Cronus into believing whatever BS Kankri is espousing, because that's how Kankri gets his validation.

Kankri and Cronus means love loses.

Thank you for reading.

[ssaseaprince]

Can we talk about how Derek obviously has a type because Spencer and Penelope are so similar.