#w this man

[ashy-lyn]

today i bless you with kaveh screenshots, tomorrow, who knows?

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[captainsaltypear]

IS ANYONE ELSE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS OR

[redsray]

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

[kamwashere]

“Every Deadpool has a Peter!”

[tojisun]

unwilling cat dad simon oh i need it so bad.

he’s a dog guy through and through but your cat keeps nuzzling her head on his feet, weaving her little body between his legs while he’s walking, and chirping at him when he plops on his spot on the sofa in your place, and who is simon to not fall in love?

he picks her up and drapes her on his chest, and he just melts when she begins to purr so loud or when she makes biscuits on his sternum. he swipes his thumb softly at the top of her head and she mews, tongue poking out, and simon’s face crumples because god she is a sweetheart.

he’d even start calling her his daughter. his child.

“my baby’s baby,” he’ll say and then show a polaroid picture he took of you holding your cat up.

“our kid,” and it’s a cat with a binky.

“little princess,” and it’s a cat asleep on the side of his face, her whole body curled like a croissant while she nuzzles at his cheek.

(simon brings his dog with him and your cat is besotted.

“aww, are you poutin’ cuz you’re no longer her favourite boy?” you tease and simon just sniffs, looking away.

you laugh, loud and booming, and simon picks you up and throws you over his shoulder in retaliation.

you hear a chirp and a bark, and god you wouldn’t trade this for anything else.)

[thelilylav]

Aziraphale is the most character ever. He ran out of ideas so he declared war on hell. He canonically says fuck. His favourite colour is yellow. He’s literally an angel and can speak every language on earth but still isn’t fluent in french. He told his boyfriend to shoot him for his magic act and made him go through with it when their miracles weren’t working. He gave away his flaming sword and then lied about it for the next 6000 years. He has a bookshop that never sells books. No one’s doing it like him.

[goldensunset]

i love comparing pokédex entries for the same mon between different games bc almost all of them will be very brief, matter-of-fact, purely scientific without any first person pronouns or personal information about the author. and then you get to the legends arceus entries and laventon’s writing stuff like ‘ngl i still don’t understand this species’ ‘i tried petting this pokémon once and it bit me’ ‘i live in fear of this thing’ ‘man i miss galar. who said that’

[egophiliac]

last chance to guess what the new round of birthday outfits will be!

[princessbutler1316]

Woke: Oh, but Deadpool never gave any signs that he was LGBTQ+

Deadpool:

Woke: But Wolverine doesn't either

Wolverine:

[alectothinker]

curious. how did u guys start dating

[andstuffsketches]

finally watched Reign of the Supermen

[dottie-n-stripes]

ode to a game that changed my life and introduced me to a world that has been very near and dear to me since... good night wiiu 😴

[beartitled]

I speedrun those while the hype for the game is there

Warning, man covered in blood under the read more ‼️

The joke is cringe probably 💥 but I just find the idea of doubleganges completely not understanding human nature and concepts hilarious 💥💥

(P.S. also apparently “bloody” milkman is not a doubleganger canonically??? I always assumed he was, because only watched lets plays of the game and ppl always called D.D.D. on him. But on the wiki of the game it vaguely states that it is just the milk man💥 Which is omg??? Obviously ignoring it for the sake of funny, but damn if I understood correctly, this is such a cool sneaky detail that makes everyone automatically assume things)

[nkogneatho]

did some force take you because I didn't pray?

[nettleparade]

his one-sided love for life