#we are almost 15 years in and counting
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i hope it’s okay i reblog this gina @twopoppies, but it’s such a fat mood
with peace and love, newer larries, please educate yourselves - and here on tumblr!
it’s where everything “Larry Stylinson” started in 2010, where most info was preserved through wonderful people who poured their hearts & energy into compiling, analysing, fact-checking, and archiving everything. because of that, there’s an abundance of compiled, as-complete-as-possible information, which is fucking amazing! use it, read it, please.
if i have learned anything since 2013 here, it’s that people who truly support Harry & Louis, above all else, strive for honesty and love.
we were there for them in all the years they desperately needed us to see and hear them. we’re still here, supporting and loving, even if they don’t ‘need’ us anymore. and that’s okay, because it’s not about us, it’s about them.
if you care about that, you stay open-minded about Harry & Louis’ history and care about learning what happened to get them to the point where they are now, preferably without your own biases or (lack of) personal experiences shadowing your opinions.
let us never forget that this isn’t about a fictional ship - these are real people in a real life long-time commitment.
(and yeah, we also have fun, sure! but there’s always an underlying premise, a mutual understanding of the basic facts - and that’s important with that)
a good point to start your read is here and here.
okay peace, lovelies 💖 let's let kindness prevail x

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#for new larries#with peace and love#please educate yourself and read up on all the lore#i know it’s a Lot#we are almost 15 years in and counting#but if you REALLY care about supporting them you take the time or at least stay as open minded as possible#and don’t just dismiss something entirely because 2 of 5 things are suddenly debunked#if it means anything - you’re really cool in my book if you show kindness and care#Paz rambles#fandom dynamics#larry#they’re still together#still going strong#mine#(half of it)#2024
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9K MAKE ME CHOOSE:・゚✧:・゚ @sharpesjoy & @yelena-bellova ASKED: Mark/Lexie or Jackson/April?
I know who she is, and if she's going through her worst right now, I wanna go through it with her. She makes me happier than anything I've ever known. And if I can have a part in making her happy again, that's all I want to do. That's all I want to do for the rest of my life.
#greysedit#slexieedit#grey's anatomy#tuserhan#userluce#useradi#tusermichi#slexie#useranne#gaedit#useryusi#tusercarolina#mmc#tuserandrea#9kceleb*#myedit#userelmo#userbean#usercas#userreia#usercallie#userneve#tv#mark sloan#lexie grey#it's been almost 15 years since we lost them both in a plane crash#they win. they win because i'll never be over them. and they had no happy ending.#in the afterlife doesn't count ksjhgjsg#but this was REALLY hard if that helps
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So not only am I reading fandom blind, I'm about to read a soulmate AU where the soulmate's injuries show up on the other's skin, and obviously this means that one of them is going to be significantly more injured than the other, and there's also now characters who I've genuinely never heard of in the tags :)
#i swear to god im in complete control of my life right now#i genuinely cannot tell you how i got here but by the Force am i glad to be#shoutout to covid for getting me into this ship#actually can i still say im reading fandom blind if ive read almost 200k for the ship already?#i mean im counting it as such exclusively because i do not know who any of these side characters are#ive seen the justice le@gue once as a kid (like 15 years ago) and thats the extent of my knowledge here#so#yolo and fuck it we ball >:)
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Ok though its actually kinda nice to see some of my earliest rps... 15 year old me just having fun 🥺🥺🥺
Might go digging more later. Don't rly feel like getting That into it tonight lol
#speculation nation#the funny thing is that back in 2013 u could still edit people's posts#which with rp i used that to delete old responses so that the posts wouldnt get too long#for the purposes of rp this worked WONDERFULLY so the threads wouldnt get too long on dashboards#but it's also kinda insane to remember that we could just... do that. change posts. fuckin wild Genuinely.#but ahhhh baby me's early writing... so nostalgic#i had 3 characters in this roleplay group. had a lot of fun for the time that i was there#since then tho i havent done any roleplay blogs on tumblr. only ever done one on one roleplays with a select few people#and dnd lol. which counts for the roleplaying aspect.#but for the Writing experience. rp was very definitely a huge thing for the development of my writing.#feeling a little bit emotional almost thinking about the many many words ive written in my life to get to my current skill#ten years ago i was 15 and just messing around with some characters i enjoyed#and now here i am with 663k words uploaded to ao3 and thousands of kudos across all my works#kinda makes me emotional. ive come a good ways since then.#and i have MORE PROGRESS TO GO 💪💪💪💪 i will keep at it. bc at the end of the day i just really love writing.
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HEADCANON
Bruce and the kids saving a coin for every time Dick changes lovers is my new headcanon. They all agreed that the money saved will be given to the one lover that stays more than one year with Dick.
Kori was an almost winner. Bruce liked her, and the kids also warmed up to her, altho damian took longer bc of his suspicion agaisnt aliens. She helped Dick in many ways and kept him out of too much trouble and she was caring. But that one lastes 11 months and 15 days (tim keeps count).
Then the jar kept filling and Wally arrived, but no one had hope for it, although they were best friends for a long while and still going strong after Wally came back from Speedforce.
It was tim (the one regulating everything) that announced at dinner that Dick and Wally had been dating for one year and 3 months.
Dick: why?!?!?!
Jason: *walks back with a jar full of money and gives it to wally* congrats wally!!
Dick: WHATS HAPPENING?!??
Bruce: well, dick, some years ago we decided to save money for every lover u had.
Tim: and we agreed that the money would go to the one that lasted more than one year.
Duke: we saved a lot of money for that, u kept changing lovers, jesus.
Cass: I had hope in kori.
*batfam nodding along with Cass statement*
Wally: may I ask how much money is in here?
Tim: 1000 dollars.
Wally: *looks at dick* idk if I should be jealous or worried.
Dick: please don't, okay.
Somehow Wally also saw that as a reward and a challenge that they would not break for a long time.
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My personal headcanon is specifically 8 (TurboTime twins, the player avatar of Roadblasters and the 5 RB NPCs (enemy cars/motorcycles and the jet craft that delivers the player's rocket launcher at the start of the level)) - while TurboTime had stands, I really like the headcanon that the spectators weren't actually entities. TT was a really old game, and it wouldn't have had the resources for that many characters, even if the spectators had only the most rudimentary coding (the two NPCs it had were visually identical! Like there wasn't enough room to squeeze in even one more additional palette to differentiate the two. They aren't even named in canon!).
Sugar Rush is a much, much bigger and more technologically advanced console with better graphics and more space for idle animations and pre-programmed responses from the candy fans. I don't think TT could possibly have had anywhere near as lively of a world behind the screens. The spectators don't even exist anywhere outside of the victory cutscene (which in and of itself probably ate up a fair bit of TT's available resources), so I think they're more akin to cardboard cut-outs (they do move in the podium part of the cutscene, but as one big unit rather than with individual animations) than living beings. Stage-dressing to act as eye candy for the victorious Player and nothing more.
#Turbo Time#Turbo wir#I think it'd be fair to say that in a game where the player doesn't have a driver avatar it's the vehicles themselves that are alive#Turbotime has drivers for each kart but the only driver we see in RB is on the motorcycle enemy type and even that is just a sprite#The PADDLES from PONG are alive! We see them in GCS! I have no idea how you'd hold a conversation with a pair of PONG paddles#but they can apparently exit their game and exist in three-dimensional space like any other living 2-d sprite!#And if the PONG paddles are only alive because both are capable of being operated by a Player#Then I think if nothing else the player car from Roadblasters must have been a casualty#Absolute minimum of three kills and no more than 10#(Turbo would have 1000% killed Vanellope if he could've coded her out completely making his kill count either 4 or 9)#(but assassinating another game & running away to avoid the consequences-#AND establishing a fraudulent government & lying to thousands of Sugar Rush characters for 15 YEARS. is kind of bad as is.)#His killcount might not be as crazy in my head but he was fake-king for almost two decades so IMO it's still a villainy W
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trust [ceo!h x shy!reader]


synopsis: bambi wants to try something new
word count: 7.9k
contains: ceo!harry x assitant!y/n, deer!reader vibes, fluff, age gap (9 years), shy reader, boyfriend!h, smut (soft smut like very gentle and loving), inexperienced y/n
this is part 4 of Bambi, read part 3 here
. . .
How do I shave down there without getting red, itchy bumps?
Follow these six simple steps to prepare for your first time!
How to suck dick 101
Y/N scrolled through a Reddit page at her desktop computer at work, the screen glowing softly in the dim office lighting. It was a page she had found after typing into Google, ‘how to prepare for your first time.’ Hundreds of subreddits appeared, each packed with questions and experiences Y/N hadn’t even considered until reading about them. She had fallen down the rabbit hole, finding a question and then getting lost in the responses.
Lostrabbit23: I lost my virginity at 15 and it was the worst experience of my life!!!! Lasted five minutes and the guy came before he even put his dick inside me, I swear.
Redberry5: Lost my virginity at 25 and it was a good experience. I’m glad I waited for the right person.
Whitedude32: Can’t understand how people can still be virgins past 18 tbh - just get it over with and live a little.
Y/N gnawed on her bottom lip, her eyes absorbing every word on the page. It seemed unnecessary, and she knew she was overthinking as she normally did, but… Y/N had a boyfriend now. A real boyfriend. And with every boyfriend, she knew what was expected.
The more she read, the more she realized how little she knew. A seed of doubt planted itself within her, growing with every scroll. What if Harry found out just how inexperienced she was? What if he didn’t think she looked pretty naked and ended up having second thoughts about being with her? The thought made her stomach twist in knots.
"Are you watching porn?" Lindsey sauntered over to Y/N's desk, balancing a stack of binders on her hip. Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she frantically clicked off the incognito tab and opened a random Microsoft Word document.
"W-What?" Y/N stammered, her cheeks flushing a deep crimson. "No! Of course not."
"Hmm," Lindsey placed the binders down with a soft thud and crossed her arms, her gaze narrowing. "Then why do you look like I just caught you red-handed? That’s not like you."
"I wasn’t doing anything," Y/N blurted, trying to keep her voice steady. "Just looking at today’s meeting notes."
Lindsey leaned in, peering over Y/N’s shoulder. "These notes are from three weeks ago."
Y/N’s eyes darted to the date at the top of the page. "I was catching up?" she added, her voice faltering.
Lindsey raised an eyebrow, skepticism clear on her face. "So, is this Reddit obsession new, or have you always had it?"
Y/N’s face burned hotter. "I-I don’t know what you’re talking about."
Lindsey gave her a pointed look, "You left your tabs open during lunch. Rookie mistake."
Y/N felt like dying, “I did?” She almost felt like crying, embarrassment washing over her entire body she could feel it burning, “I-I was just researching stuff,”
Lindsey’s expression softened slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. " What kind of 'stuff' are we talking about here?"
Y/N hesitated, her fingers nervously tapping the edge of her keyboard. "Just… things. You know, advice. Relationship stuff."
Lindsey’s eyes lit up with curiosity. "Oh, relationship stuff? Now we're getting somewhere. Who’s the lucky man?”
Y/N and Harry were both sure that Lindsey already knew they were an item but they weren’t going to risk slipping their facade by bringing it up, “Just somebody.”
Lindsey looked knowingly, “Okay well are you planning on taking the next step with this just somebody?”
Y/N hesitated, unsure how to respond. Whenever things got too intense with Harry, she had a habit of pulling away or steering the conversation elsewhere. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to share those moments with him—she did. But she needed to feel ready, to prepare herself for something so intimate.
“I... I think I want to,” she said softly, avoiding his eyes. Her voice trembled as she added, “I just... I just want to be good.”
Lindsey’s expression softened immediately. “Oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, stepping forward to wrap Y/N in a warm hug. The gesture brought a lump to Y/N’s throat. In the weeks since she’d started her new job, Lindsey had become like the older sister she’d never had—someone she could trust completely.
Pulling back, Lindsey held Y/N’s shoulders firmly, her voice gentle but steady. “First of all, you never have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Sex isn’t a performance, it’s personal. It’s about intimacy, connection, and trust. Whatever happens is between you and whoever you’re with, and that’s all that matters.
“Second,” she added with a small smile, “it’s not as complicated as people make it seem. Even if it’s awkward or messy at first, that’s okay. You’ll learn together. That’s one of the best parts of being with someone—discovering their little quirks, preferences, kinks and everything inbetween. Trust me, you’ll be fine. And if anyone ever makes you feel less than beautiful in the process? They’re not worth your time.”
Y/N exhaled, feeling a weight lift from her chest. “Oh no, he’s perfect,” she confessed, her voice tinged with a dreamy sigh. “Better than that. He’s... everything.”
Lindsey chuckled, glancing at her watch. “Well, speaking of perfect, it’s time for us to take a well-deserved lunch break.”
“What?” Y/N blinked in surprise as Lindsey grabbed her hand, tugging her toward the door.
Before she could protest further, Lindsey swung open the door to Harry’s office, revealing him seated at his desk in a perfectly pressed suit. Y/N hadn’t seen much of him that morning, and the sight of him made her heart flutter. She wanted nothing more than to cross the room and curl up in his lap.
Harry glanced up, his lips curving into a warm smile as soon as he spotted her.
“We’re taking an early lunch,” Lindsey declared.
Harry raised an eyebrow, checking the clock on his wall. “It’s 11:30. Lunch doesn’t start for another hour.”
Lindsey waved a dismissive hand. “We’ve been working so hard we deserve an extra break.”
Y/N snapped out of her daze just in time to nod in agreement, though the gesture only made Harry’s gaze soften further.
“Is that right, Miss Y/L/N?” he asked, his tone teasing.
Y/N felt her cheeks heat up. “Mhm,” she mumbled. “We’ve been working very hard.”
Harry chuckled, his gaze flicking back to Lindsey. “Fine. An hour extra, but that’s it. If anyone asks, you’re running errands.”
Lindsey grinned. “Yes, boss. Oh, and we’ll need your credit card.”
Harry scoffed. “Not happening.”
“Worth a shot.” Lindsey shrugged, then headed for the door. Before leaving, she shot them a pointed look. “I’ll grab my coat. No funny business, you two. I’ll be waiting outside.”
As soon as the door clicked shut, Harry stood, straightening his jacket before walking over to Y/N. He reached for her hand, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “Hi, baby.”
“Hi, Harry,” she whispered, her breath catching as he leaned down to kiss her gently.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his eyes searching hers. “You don’t have to go with Lindsey, you know. You could stay here and spend your lunch break with me.”
The suggestion was far too tempting, and Harry’s smile only made it harder to resist.
“She hasn’t even told me where we’re going,” Y/N shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the rapid beat of her heart.
Harry reached down, tangling his fingers with hers. His touch was warm, grounding. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Wherever she’s taking you, make sure you don’t overdo it, okay? We still have plans tonight, remember?”
Y/N’s stomach fluttered. Harry had been teasing her about the surprise date all week. She was excited, but also nervous—especially after his cryptic text telling her to wear something she didn’t mind getting dirty.
Harry kissed her again, but their moment was cut short by a loud knock on the door.
“Hurry it up in there! Time’s ticking!” Lindsey’s muffled voice called through the door.
Y/N couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out of her, and Harry’s lips curved into a soft smile at the sound.
“Here,” he said, pulling his wallet from the inside pocket of his blazer. He slid out a gleaming gold AMEX card and pressed it into her hand.
Y/N’s eyes widened. “O-Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly—”
“Bambi,” Harry interrupted, his tone firm but affectionate. The nickname made her heart skip. “Take it.”
His commanding presence was enough to make her stop arguing. She looked up at him, cheeks tinged pink, and nodded.
Y/N stared at the card in her hand like it might bite her. “But Harry,” she whispered, glancing up at him with wide eyes, “I don’t even know what to do with this. What if I lose it? What if I spend too much? What if—”
Harry chuckled softly, the sound warm and reassuring. He cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her flushed skin. “Bambi, all you need to do is enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”
Her lips parted, and she blinked up at him, unsure what to say. “I’ll take good care of it,” she promised in a tiny voice, clutching the card. “And I’ll bring it right back. I promise I won’t spend too much!”
“I know you won’t,” he murmured, a hint of amusement dancing in his voice. “I trust you.”
Before she could overthink it any further, Harry leaned down and kissed her forehead again, lingering just long enough for her to feel the warmth of him. “Go have fun.”
Her heart did a nervous little flip at the reminder. “O-Okay,” she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lindsey’s voice interrupted again, sharp but teasing. “Alright, lovebirds, seriously! I’m giving you ten seconds before I come in there and drag her out myself!”
Y/N squeaked and turned to the door. “Coming!” she called, her voice high-pitched and rushed.
Harry smirked, clearly enjoying her flustered state. He stepped back and adjusted his tie, looking every bit the polished professional, but his eyes were still soft as they followed her.
“Be good,” he teased, his voice low enough that only she could hear.
Her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink. “I’ll try,” she mumbled, giving him a quick, shy smile before hurrying out of the office.
Outside, Lindsey was waiting with her hands on her hips, an exaggeratedly impatient expression on her face.
“About time,” she said, grabbing Y/N’s hand and tugging her down the hallway. “Now, let’s see what kind of trouble we can get into with that fancy credit card of his.”
Y/N let out a soft giggle, her fingers curling around the card in her hand. She glanced back toward Harry’s office door one last time, her heart still racing. Even though she was nervous about tonight, she couldn’t help but feel a little giddy, too.
Lindsey noticed the dreamy look on Y/N’s face and rolled her eyes with a grin. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”
Y/N looked away, pressing her lips together as a shy smile spread across her face. “Maybe,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“Oh, you’re adorable,” Lindsey laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, let’s make this lunch break worth it.”
. . .
Y/N stood in the small changing room, staring at the pile of delicate lingerie Lindsey had hung on the door hook. Each set was softer and more intricate than the last, made from lace, satin, and ribbons in pastel tones of blue, lavender, mint, and blush. She felt like a clumsy giant in a room of dainty, breakable things.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Y/N called softly through the door.
“You’ve got this,” Lindsey replied encouragingly. “Try the pink one first. It’s so you.”
With trembling hands, Y/N picked up the light blush pink set, the soft lace slipping between her fingers like a whisper. She changed quickly, careful not to look too long in the mirror, and hesitated before stepping out.
“Alright, let me see,” Lindsey said, her voice full of excitement.
Y/N cracked open the door and peeked out timidly. “Promise you won’t laugh?”
“Promise. Now, come on!”
Taking a deep breath, Y/N stepped out, crossing her arms over her chest shyly. The pastel pink lace hugged her figure, delicate straps tracing over her shoulders and down her back. Lindsey’s eyes lit up as she took in the sight.
“Oh, you look so cute!” Lindsey grinned. “It’s perfect! Very soft, very sweet. What do you think?”
Y/N glanced at her reflection in the mirror outside the stall, biting her lip. “I don’t know... It feels like... too much? Or maybe not enough?”
Lindsey shook her head, placing a reassuring hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “It’s not too much, and it’s definitely not too little. It’s elegant and adorable, just like you.”
Y/N flushed and retreated back into the stall to try the next set. The routine continued for several minutes, with Y/N emerging in pastel greens, blues, and creams. Finally, she reached for the last set—a soft taupe-pink shade, almost like the color of cocoa mixed with milk.
When she stepped out in this set, Lindsey gasped softly. “Oh my god.”
Y/N immediately crossed her arms again. “Is it bad? I knew it was too much—”
“No!” Lindsey interrupted, shaking her head vehemently. She stepped closer and took Y/N by the shoulders, turning her toward the mirror. “Look at yourself. You look like a little deer.”
Y/N blinked at her reflection, her brow furrowed. The taupe-pink color complimented her skin tone, and the simple but elegant design made her feel... grown-up, yet still herself.
“I... I don’t know,” she murmured, her voice shaky.
“Hey.” Lindsey crouched slightly to catch Y/N’s gaze in the mirror. “You’re beautiful, Y/N. Stunning. And Harry is going to lose his shit when he sees you in this.”
Y/N’s cheeks flamed. “Lindsey!” she squeaked, burying her face in her hands.
Lindsey laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “What? It’s true! Now, I think we’ve found the winner. Let’s go pay before I start crying over how cute you look.”
Y/N nodded shyly, stealing one last glance at herself in the mirror. For the first time, she felt a spark of confidence in her chest. Maybe Harry would love it.
Or, at the very least, she loved it—and that felt just as important.
. . .
Y/N sat comfortably in the passenger seat of Harry’s Porsche, her old t-shirt soft against her skin and her blue jeans slightly worn at the knees. Her baby pink ballet flats rested lightly on the floor, toes tapping absentmindedly as she gazed out the window, trying to decipher where he was taking her.
Harry, effortlessly cozy in his sweater and loose-fitting jeans, kept one hand on the wheel while the other held hers over the console. His black Vans were slightly scuffed, white socks peeking above the edges. At every red light, he lifted her fingers to his lips, pressing a tender kiss against them as if it were second nature.
“Did y’have fun with Lindsey today?” he asked, sparing a glance in her direction.
Y/N hesitated for a moment, then cleared her throat. “Y-Yeah, it was… fun.” She tried not to think about the underwear she had bought earlier particularly because she was currently wearing it beneath her very casual clothing.
Harry’s lips quirked up in amusement. “You don’t sound too sure about that.”
“No, it was!” she insisted, sitting up a little straighter. “It was really nice. I don’t spend a lot of time with other girls, so it felt… different. In a good way.”
His smile softened as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before returning his focus to the road. “Y’know you’re welcome to spend time with Sarah and Alessia too.”
“But they’re your friends,” Y/N frowned. “Wouldn’t you feel like I was taking them away?”
Harry scoffed, shaking his head. “Of course not. What’s mine is yours, love. You’re my girlfriend, remember?”
Y/N’s lips twitched, a giddy warmth settling in her chest. She let her head fall back against the headrest, a slow smile curling on her lips.
“What?” Harry grinned, flicking his eyes toward her for a second.
“I just like it when you say that,” she admitted.
“What? Girlfriend?” he teased, his dimples appearing as he chuckled.
“Mhm,” she hummed, cheeks heating up. “I can’t believe I’m a girlfriend.”
Harry laughed, bringing her hand up to kiss her knuckles. “You’re not just a girlfriend, you’re my girlfriend. All mine.”
She liked that label even more.
Later on, the soft crunch of gravel beneath the tires signaled their arrival. Harry pulled into a small stone parking lot in front of what looked like a quaint, cottage-style home. The windows glowed warmly against the dusky sky, lace curtains fluttering slightly from the inside. There was no sign or indication of where they were, just an inviting little house with flower boxes lining the window sills.
Y/N glanced around, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Where are we?”
Harry smirked, already opening his door. “You’ll see.”
Curiosity buzzed in her stomach as she climbed out of the car, the crisp evening air wrapping around her. Harry met her at the front, slipping his hand into hers and leading her toward the wooden door.
Before she could ask any more questions, the door creaked open to reveal an elderly woman with wispy white hair pinned up in a loose bun. She wore a pastel apron dusted with flour and had a kind twinkle in her eye.
“Harry, darling!” she greeted, pulling him into a soft hug before turning to Y/N with an equally warm smile. “And you must be Y/N! Oh, you’re just as lovely as he said.”
Y/N’s brows shot up as she looked between Harry and the woman. “He’s mentioned me?”
“Oh, love, he wouldn’t stop talking about you,” she chuckled, stepping aside to usher them in. The scent of vanilla and butter filled the air, making Y/N’s mouth water. “Come in, come in, we’ve got cakes to decorate!”
Y/N’s jaw dropped slightly as she turned to Harry. “Really?”
Harry grinned, squeezing her hand. “Thought you’d like it.” Y/N let out a delighted squeal as she followed him inside.
The cozy kitchen looked straight out of a storybook—wooden shelves lined with jars of sugar and sprinkles, floral-printed tea towels hanging neatly by the stove, and a large wooden table in the center covered with piping bags, frosting tubs, and trays of undecorated cupcakes.
Y/N hesitated at the doorway, her fingers curling around Harry’s sleeve as she peeked inside. “I’ve always wanted to do a baking class,” she admitted, eyes wide with curiosity.
Harry turned to her with a grin. “I know,”
She furrowed her brows, “How did you find out?”
“You’re brothers told me,” He shrugged.
The elderly woman, who had introduced herself as Margaret, beamed at her. “Don’t worry if you’ve never done this before—I’ll show you everything!”
Y/N’s fingers fiddled with the edge of her sleeve as she stepped further into the cozy kitchen, taking in the warm scent of vanilla and sugar. She glanced at Harry, still feeling a little surprised that he had gone out of his way to plan something so thoughtful.
Margaret handed them each an apron, and Y/N hesitated before slipping hers over her head. As she struggled to tie the strings behind her back, she felt a familiar presence behind her.
“Here, Bambi,” Harry murmured, gently tugging the ends and tying them into a neat bow.
Y/N swallowed, her fingers curling slightly against the fabric of her apron. “Thank you…” she said softly, peeking up at him.
Harry just hummed, the corner of his mouth twitching as he reached for his own apron.
Margaret clapped her hands together. “Now, let’s get started! We’ve got a few cakes ready for decorating, and you two can pick whichever frosting colors you like.”
Y/N followed her to the counter, where bowls of pastel-colored buttercream sat beside trays of undecorated cakes. She hovered near the edge, unsure where to start.
Harry, on the other hand, grabbed a piping bag without hesitation. “I used to work at a bakery so don’t be surprised if my cake turns into a masterpiece,” he declared, scooping up a generous amount of frosting.
Y/N watched him for a moment, then turned back to her own cake. She carefully picked up a piping bag but hesitated before squeezing it. “What if I mess it up?” she murmured, more to herself than anyone else.
Margaret overheard and smiled warmly. “There’s no such thing, dear. It’s just cake. If it doesn’t turn out how you want, we’ll eat the evidence.”
Y/N let out a small giggle, feeling a little more at ease. She took a deep breath and pressed down on the piping bag, carefully swirling the frosting onto the cake. Her hands were a little shaky, but as she stepped back, she couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit proud.
Harry glanced over and tilted his head. “That’s cute,” he said, nodding toward her cake.
Y/N tucked her chin down, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. “You think so?”
“Yeah,” he said simply, before turning back to his own. “Almost as good as mine,”
Y/N peeked at his cake and bit her lip to hold back a giggle. His frosting was uneven, the swirls lopsided. She glanced up at him, unsure if she should say anything.
He must have noticed because he smirked. “Go on, laugh.”
She shook her head quickly. “N-No! I—I think it’s lovely.”
Harry chuckled, nudging her lightly. “lovely, huh?”
Y/N felt her face heat up and quickly focused back on her cake, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
Before she could react, Harry swiped a bit of icing onto his finger and gently smeared it across her cheek. She gasped, eyes widening in surprise as he leaned in slightly, a playful smirk on his lips.
“I think you’re lovely,” he murmured.
Margaret smiled knowingly. “You two make a lovely pair,” she said as she reached for some sprinkles. “Now, who wants to add the finishing touches?”
Y/N reached for a jar of soft pink sugar pearls, her fingers barely brushing Harry’s as he reached for the same one.
He didn’t move his hand right away, just glanced at her with a small smile. “You take it,” he said softly, his pinkie finger poking her hand. Y/N ducked her head, feeling a flutter in her chest as she carefully took the jar.
With the finishing touches added—Harry’s cake looking as delightfully messy as ever, and Y/N’s decorated with delicate swirls and tiny pearls—they both stepped back, admiring their work.
Margaret beamed at them. “Wonderful, both of you! Now, how about some tea? You’ve earned it.”
Y/N nodded quickly, grateful for something to do other than stand there under Harry’s watchful gaze. She followed Margaret to a cozy table near the window, where a teapot and delicate china cups were already set up. The scent of chamomile and honey filled the air as Margaret poured them each a cup.
Harry stretched out beside Y/N, his long legs brushing hers beneath the table. He didn’t seem to notice—or if he did, he wasn’t letting on.
As Y/N stirred a spoonful of sugar into her tea, curiosity finally got the better of her. She glanced between Harry and Margaret before speaking up softly. “How do you two know each other?”
Margaret smiled as she set down the teapot. “Oh, I’m an old friend of Harry’s mum. We go way back.” She turned to Harry with a teasing glint in her eye. “She’s actually coming to visit next week for his birthday.”
Y/N froze, her fingers tightening around her teacup.
Birthday?
Her mind spun. Harry hadn’t mentioned his birthday. Not once. And now she had to meet his mum?
Oh. Oh no.
She must’ve gone silent for too long because Harry’s gaze flickered toward her, his brows furrowing slightly.
Then, under the table, she felt it—his hand, warm and steady, pressing gently against her thigh.
Y/N’s breath hitched as she looked up at him, wide-eyed.
He didn’t say anything, just gave her a knowing look—one that was both amused and reassuring. His thumb brushed lightly over the fabric of her jeans, a silent gesture that somehow grounded her and made her even more flustered all at once.
“You alright, Bambi?” he asked, his voice low enough that only she could hear.
Y/N swallowed hard and nodded quickly, even though her heart was racing.
Harry’s lips twitched, clearly not believing her. But, mercifully, he didn’t push. He just kept his hand where it was, a steady presence beneath the table.
Y/N took a sip of her tea, hoping it would hide the blush creeping up her neck.
She had two problems now: figuring out what to do for his birthday and somehow surviving meeting his mum without making a complete fool of herself.
And, judging by the knowing smirk on Harry’s lips, he was well aware of both.
. . .
“Thank you for having us,” Y/N said softly, offering Margaret a small smile as they stood by the door.
Margaret waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, nonsense, dear. It was lovely having you both.” Then, with a knowing smile, she added, “You’re welcome to come back and do some baking with me anytime, Y/N.”
Y/N’s eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by the offer. She glanced at Harry, who was watching the exchange with amusement, then back at Margaret. “Oh—I’d love to,” she said shyly.
Margaret patted her arm warmly before turning to Harry. “Take care, love. And don’t forget to call your mum.”
Harry groaned playfully. “You’ve been talking to her too much.”
Margaret only laughed, waving them off as they made their way to the car.
Once inside, Y/N fastened her seatbelt and turned to look at Harry, who was adjusting the mirrors. She hesitated for a moment before finally voicing the thoughts swirling in her head.
“You didn’t tell me your mom was coming to see you,” she said, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. “Or that it was your birthday.”
Harry shot her a side glance, lips twitching slightly. “I didn’t want to panic you.”
She frowned. “About your birthday?”
“I don’t like the attention,” he admitted simply.
That made her pause. She looked at him, watching the way his fingers tapped idly against the steering wheel.
Silence settled between them for a beat before he spoke again, his voice quieter this time. “Are you mad?”
The question shocked her. Her brows knitted together. “No, of course not,” she said quickly. Then, softer, “Just… worried.”
Harry turned to her fully now, one arm draped over the steering wheel as he studied her. “Worried?”
“What if your mom doesn’t like me?” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
His expression softened. “I think she already does.”
Y/N blinked. “Huh?”
“You’re all I talk about when I speak to her these days, Bambi,” he said, his voice warm, sure. “Believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”
A small huff left her lips as she sank deeper into her seat, still unsure if that made her feel better or worse.
“Bambiiiiii,” Harry drawled, his tone teasing. “Give me a kiss.”
She almost smiled, shaking her head as she turned toward him to say something—maybe to protest, maybe just to stall—but she never got the chance.
Before she could speak, Harry cupped her entire face in his hands, tilting her chin up as he kissed her.
Y/N melted instantly, her hands hesitating before resting lightly against his chest. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks, his lips moving against hers with a kind of lazy confidence that made her stomach flip.
He pulled back just enough for their noses to brush, a smirk tugging at his lips. “You taste like frosting,” he murmured against her mouth.
Y/N let out a breathless laugh, her fingers curling slightly against his shirt.
Maybe she was still nervous about meeting his mom. Maybe she was still reeling from the fact that his birthday was next week. But right now, in this moment, all she could focus on was him.
“Come on,” Harry’s hand rested on her knee, “Let’s get you home.”
The drive back was quiet, comfortable. The occasional hum of a song on the radio filled the space between them, but neither of them felt the need to talk much. Harry’s hand rested casually on the gear shift, fingers drumming lightly, while Y/N watched the familiar streets pass by through the window.
Before she knew it, they were outside her house. Harry shifted into park and turned toward her with a small smile. “Home safe, Bambi.”
Y/N reached for the door handle but hesitated.
She didn’t want the night to end just yet.
Biting her lip, she turned to face him properly. “Do you… want to come inside?”
Harry blinked, a flicker of surprise crossing his face, “Yeah?”
Y/N nodded, suddenly feeling a little nervous under his gaze. “Yeah.”
His face softened into something warmer, more curious. He tilted his head slightly, studying her. “You sure?”
Y/N swallowed, then nodded again. “I just—” She exhaled, giving a small shrug. “I’m not ready for you to leave yet.”
Harry’s expression changed, something fond flickering in his green eyes before he reached over, fingers brushing her chin briefly.
“Then I won’t,” he murmured.
With that, he shut off the car and stepped out, rounding to meet her at the front steps.
Y/N’s stomach fluttered as she unlocked the door, fully aware of Harry standing just behind her. And as she pushed it open and stepped inside, she couldn’t help but smile when she heard him close the door behind them.
“Everyone’s asleep. We can go upstairs to my room,” she whispered, locking the front door behind them. Slipping off her shoes, she glanced back as Harry did the same, his movements quiet and easy.
Without thinking, she reached for his hand, her fingers curling around his as she led him up the stairs. They tiptoed carefully past her brother’s rooms, the only sound the faint creak of the wooden steps beneath them.
Once inside, she gently shut the door and turned to find Harry standing in the middle of her room, his gaze slowly sweeping over the space.
It was strange seeing him there—so tall, so effortlessly cool—against the soft pink and white of her bedroom. He looked almost out of place, yet somehow, he didn’t.
His eyes landed on the mannequin in the corner, where a partially finished dress hung, delicate ruffles cascading down the fabric.
“Did you make this?” he asked, his voice laced with curiosity as he stepped closer, taking in the details.
Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly shy. “Yeah… it’s taking a lot longer than I thought it would.”
Harry turned to her, something like awe flickering across his face. “Bambi,” he murmured, shaking his head slightly. “You should be working with the design team at Pleasing, not stuck behind a desk.”
Her eyes widened, heat creeping up her neck. “Oh, no, no,” she protested quickly, waving a hand. “The desk job is more than enough.”
Harry just hummed, still admiring the dress. “At least give it a think.”
Y/N blinked, a confused smile tugging at her lips. “Wait, are you offering?”
Harry turned to face her, already standing just a step away, the small space of her room almost too close. His lips curled into a teasing grin. “I don’t know… do you want me to?”
Her heart skipped a beat, and before she could answer, Harry intertwined their fingers, his touch sending a jolt of warmth through her. He lowered his head, his lips ghosting over hers, just a breath away.
“I think you’re going to do such great things, Bambi,” he murmured, his voice soft but certain. “You don’t need me for that.”
Y/N’s breath hitched, the sincerity in his voice melting the walls she had built up around herself. Her chest tightened, and before she could stop herself, she kissed him, her lips pressing against his with a soft urgency.
His hands cupped her cheeks gently, his touch grounding her as she stepped back, the backs of her knees hitting the edge of her bed. They both tumbled onto it in a tangle of limbs, Y/N’s heart thudding loudly against her chest.
His hands moved to her hips, fingers digging into her skin beneath her shirt, pulling her closer. The warmth of his touch made her pulse quicken, and her mind raced, completely overwhelmed by the closeness.
Her thoughts scattered, and she found herself whispering, almost breathless. “Y—you can take it off.”
Harry’s hands stilled, his brows furrowing in confusion. “My shirt, I mean.”
His lips parted slightly, eyes widening as he processed what she’d said. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, her heart in her throat, “I-I’m sure,” She replied.
Harry didn’t respond at first, his eyes scanning her face to make sure she truly meant what she said. His fingers tugged on the ends of her shirt and she nodded once more to let him know it was okay and what she wanted.
Harry lifted her shirt, his fingers grazing her skin as he pulled it over her head. The cool air prickled against her newly exposed skin, but the way his gaze darkened sent a different kind of heat through her.
"God," he murmured, voice thick with something unspoken, his eyes scanned the underwear she was wearing. He said nothing at first, Y/N’s nerves growing at his silence. Her first instinct was to put her shirt back on to cover herself up but his fingers wrapped around her wrist, “Are you real?”
Y/N giggled, “I think so,” she poked her tummy and Harry laughed.
“I must have been good at some point in time, I don’t think you’d be here if I weren’t.”
“You are good Harry,” Y/N murmurs.
“For you,” Harry whispers, “I’ll be anything. Anything y’ want, Bambi. I’ll bend and break myself to be whatever you want me to be. I’ve never been one for religion, but I’ve only ever prayed long and hard for someone like you, and now here you are. You’re like holding a piece of Heaven.”
Y/N's breath catches, the weight of his words settling deep within her chest. She reaches up, her fingers brushing against his cheek, tracing the lines of his jaw with a softness that matches her racing heart. "Harry..."
His eyes soften as they meet hers, the intensity never wavering, but there's something tender in his gaze now, something that says he's not just talking about desire, but something deeper, more profound.
Y/N swallowed hard, her fingers twitching at her sides before she reached for the hem of his shirt. He smirked, eyes locked onto hers as he helped her tug it over his head, his movements fluid, confident. Her eyes rounded at the tattoos that littered his muscular torso. Her hands hesitated over the hard lines of his chest, the warmth of his skin under her fingertips making her pulse stutter.
"Go on," Harry urged, his voice low, teasing. "Touch me."
Her breath hitched, but she obeyed, palms trailing cautiously over his chest, feeling the steady, unshaken beat of his heart. Unlike her own, which was hammering in her ribs. She traced her fingers over a particular tattoo on his left pectoral.
Her gaze lifted to meet his, and she noticed the way his chest rose and fell with every breath, the warmth of his body against hers making her pulse quicken. Harry’s eyes softened as he watched her, his lips curling into a smile.
"Relax, love," he murmured, cupping her chin and tilting her face up to his. "S’just me."
And then he kissed her again—deep, sure, in control. His hands slid down to her waist, pulling her flush against him, and she melted into him, letting him take the lead, letting him guide her through the intensity of it all.
They kissed for a while, Harry’s hands roaming over her skin, slowly learning the contours of her body as though he were memorizing each moment. Y/N melted into him, feeling the heat between them grow, her heart racing, pulse quickening under his touch.
Y/N pulled away for a brief second to catch his breath, his eyes were hazy, his lips were pinker than usual and lazy grin lingered on his lips. “What are y’ thinking about Bambi?”
She wondered how he could already read her so well. Her mind had been drifting the entire evening to this very moment, and now she was in it, her mouth dry and she couldn’t seem to conjure up the words. “H-Harry I-” The words were on the tip of her tongue, her mind drifting to a reddit article she read three days prior with tips on this exact situation.
Harry waited patiently for her to continue, letting her have her space to gain the confidence to ask whatever she needed to. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the hesitation in her voice, and he respected it, not rushing her, not pushing for anything.
She sighed, her words barely above a whisper, "I bought this bra today."
Harry nodded, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "It’s very pretty, Bambi. So pretty on you." His lips brushed the side of her neck, a gentle, tender gesture meant to reassure her.
But Y/N could feel the weight of her own thoughts pressing on her chest. "B-but there’s a reason I bought it," she continued, her voice shaky.
Harry paused, his lips stilling against her skin as he pulled back slightly to look at her, his gaze full of warmth and curiosity. “What do you mean?”
She took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest as she gathered the courage to speak. "I... I want to try things with you."
Harry’s expression softened, the shock in his eyes mixing with a deeper understanding. He gave her a moment to continue, sensing that she wasn’t finished.
"I want you to do stuff with me." She felt her cheeks flush, but she held his gaze, refusing to look away.
He stayed silent for a beat, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair from her face, his voice calm but filled with concern. "Are you sure?"
She nodded, her hands trembling slightly as she reached for his, needing his touch to ground her. “I want to touch you.” She whispered in his ear, her cheeks scorching.
Harry choked, “Bambi,” He could feel himself hardening in his trousers.
She quickly continued, her voice a little shaky. “But y—you have to help me because… reading things online make it hard to understand, and those articles about… it’s confusing.”
Harry took her hands in his, his thumbs brushing over her knuckles as he looked into her eyes, his expression filled with warmth. “Hey, it’s okay,” he reassured her gently. “We’ll go slow. No pressure. I’ll help you, I promise. What is it you had in mind, Bambi?”
“I’m too embarrassed to say it out loud,” She admitted, breezing past the whole ‘pretending to be confident’ moment she had pictured in her head. “I feel embarrassed not knowing anything.”
Harry’s gaze softened, and Y/N wasn’t sure why it comforted her. He wasn’t showing sympathy, frustration, or excitement—his expression was unreadable, almost effortless. It was as if her uncertainty didn’t matter to him, as if knowing nothing made no difference at all. Being with her was enough, and whatever came with it was just a bonus.
“How about I’ll help you first,” He gently guided her onto his lap, his hands steady on her waist as he settled her against him. “Just follow my lead, yeah?” His voice was soft, reassuring, but there was an edge of something deeper in his tone—something patient yet undeniably wanting.
Y/N’s breath hitched as she adjusted herself, feeling the warmth of his body beneath her. His hands, warm and firm, traced slow circles on her hips, grounding her. “You don’t have to rush,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. “This is just us. You and me.”
She exhaled shakily, her fingers gripping his shoulders as she let herself relax against him. The feeling was new, overwhelming but not in a bad way. Safe. Warm. Intimate in a way she hadn’t expected.
Harry’s fingers trailed up her spine, his touch featherlight but deliberate. “Tell me what feels good, Bambi,” he whispered, his lips ghosting over the shell of her ear. “We’ll figure this out together.”
Y/N swallowed, her body tingling at his words. “O-okay,” she breathed, trusting him completely.
Y/N shuddered as Harry’s hands splayed on her thighs, his fingers playfully playing with the hook of her underwear that rested on her hips. His thumb made circles on her skin, goosebumps rising where he traced, ‘Is this okay?” He whispered, eyes looking into hers.
She nodded. His fingers sliding down further until they cupped her between her legs, “What about this?”
She gaped, “Yes Harry,”
“M’kay,” Warm breath fanned down her neck.
Beneath her, Y/N could feel Harry’s hardening length. Her eyes widened, her breath hitching as she shifted slightly, the sensation unfamiliar yet thrilling. Harry’s grip on her hips tightened just a fraction, his jaw clenching as he exhaled through his nose.
“You feel that, Bambi?” he murmured, his voice thick with restraint.
She nodded, her hands clutching his shoulders, her heart hammering against her ribs. “It’s… um, it’s big,” she admitted shyly, her cheeks burning.
“Do you trust me?” Harry asked.
“Completely,” Y/N whispered with a nod. Harry didn’t hesitate, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before his hand drifted lower.
With careful precision, he hooked his fingers around the fabric of her underwear, tugging it aside. She wondered if he could feel the razor bumps from where she had tried to shave. If he did he didn’t say anything, just whispered, “Y’ the most perfect girl. How are you real?” She wasn’t sure if he was speaking to her or himself.
The moment his fingers brushed past her folds, searching for her clit, she stiffened, a sharp inhale catching in her throat. Letting out a shaky breath, her fingers gripping his shoulders as a wave of unfamiliar yet intoxicating pleasure coursed through her. Harry watched her closely, his eyes dark with focus, making sure she was comfortable.
“Relax, Bambi,” he whispered, his lips brushing against her temple as his fingers moved with deliberate care.
Y/N’s breath hitched as he found the sensitive bundle of nerves, his touch gentle yet firm. A soft whimper escaped her lips, and she instinctively pressed closer to him, seeking more.
“That’s it,” Harry murmured, his free hand stroking her thigh reassuringly. “You’re doing so good for me.”
She felt heat pool in her stomach, her body responding in ways she never imagined. “Harry,” she whimpered, barely recognizing her own voice.
His lips curled into a smirk as he pressed a kiss just below her ear. “I’ve got you, love,” he promised, his fingers working her with steady, patient movements. “You’re truly quite perfect.”
Y/N couldn’t help but smile at his words, but then her brows furrowed as a thought crept into her mind—she wanted to do something for Harry, too. This wasn’t meant to be just about her.
But as his fingers continued their slow, torturous movements, her thoughts blurred into nothingness. Her body responded instinctively, her hips rutting against his hand when he brushed a particularly sensitive spot.
Harry groaned, the sound deep and raw, sending a fresh wave of heat through her. The effect it had on her was instant—she wanted to hear it again. So she did it once more, rolling her hips into his touch.
“Y’ gonna kill me, Bambi,” he rasped, his grip on her tightening as he fought to keep control.
Harry let out a strained chuckle, his fingers tightening around her hips as he steadied her movements. His gaze was heavy-lidded, filled with something dark and reverent as he watched her.
“So damn sweet,” he murmured, his thumb tracing gentle circles on her skin. “All wide-eyed and trembling… just like a little deer.”
Y/N swallowed hard, her breath catching at his words. His comparison made her feel small, delicate—like something precious in his hands.
Harry’s breath grew heavier, his grip on her hips firm as he guided her movements, letting her find what felt good. Y/N was completely lost in the sensation—his fingers working her with precise, devastating strokes, his voice low and coaxing as he whispered sweet praises in her ear.
“That’s it, Bambi,” he murmured, his forehead resting against hers. “Let yourself feel it.”
Her body trembled, overwhelmed by the pleasure building inside her. She clung to him, fingers pulling on the curls at the nape of his neck, his head falling back as she rocked against his hand, chasing the high she had never quite reached before.
Harry was struggling himself, his jaw clenched, his breathing ragged as her movements sent jolts of pleasure straight through him. He was achingly hard beneath her, the friction almost too much, especially when she rolled her hips just right.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his fingers faltering for a moment before he doubled down, determined to push her over the edge first. “You feel so good, love—so perfect.”
His words sent her spiraling. A broken moan slipped past her lips as the tension inside her snapped, pleasure crashing over her in waves. Her body tensed, then melted, a shuddering mess in his arms as she came undone.
The sight of her—the way she trembled, the breathy whimpers falling from her lips—was Harry’s undoing. With a deep, guttural groan, he buried his face in her neck, his body shuddering as he followed right after her, lost in his own release.
For a moment, neither of them moved, both caught in the aftershocks of pleasure, their breaths mingling as they clung to each other. Y/N felt boneless, her head resting against his shoulder, her heart still hammering in her chest.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Harry,” Y/N confessed, her voice soft in the quiet light of her room. It was the most honest thing she had ever said, the most vulnerable she had ever allowed herself to be.
Harry’s eyes shone with an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher. Maybe it was love, maybe it was more but she couldn’t quite figure out what meant more than love. Unless what she was feeling was exactly that- something more- because when she thought about loving Harry, the word seemed much too small. She wanted to be the same person, wanted to melt into his skin and never find where she ended and he began.
His fingers traced slow, soothing patterns on her back as he held her, grounding her in the moment. “Maybe it’s your first orgasm talking.” He chuckled and she playfully nudged him before laughing with him.
As her eyes fluttered shut, inhaling the scent of him—warm, familiar, safe, she heard him whisper, “I think I’m two steps ahead of you Bambi.” and her heart pounded against her chest.
Maybe love wasn’t a big enough word for what she felt, but whatever it was, it belonged to him. And she had a feeling it always would.
#harry styles fic rec#harry styles#fic rec#asks#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles blurb#harry styles imagines#harry styles imagine#harry edward styles#harry styles rec#harry styles fluff#harry x y/n#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry x reader#bambi#shy!reader#harry styles one shot#ceoharry#ceo!harrystyles#harry styles smut#writing#fanfiction
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i think a lot about exactly 1 thing from the roman empire: the concept of bread and circus. the idea was that if your population was fed and entertained, they wouldn't revolt. you are asking us to give up our one small life, is the thing - for under 15 dollars an hour.
what would that buy, even. i am trading weekends and late nights and my back health. i am trading slow mornings and long walks and cortisol levels. i am trading sleep and silence and peace. for ... this. for what barely-covers-rent.
life really is more expensive right now. you aren't making that up. i make almost 3 times what i did 5 years ago, and despite an incredibly equal series of bills - i am still struggling. the most expensive line item i added was to own a dog. the money is just evaporating.
we were okay with it because it's a cost-benefit analysis. i could handle the customer harassment and standing all day and the manager's constantly changing temperament - i was coming home to hope, and my life planned in a blue envelope. three hours would buy me my dog's food for a month. i can give up three hours for him, for his shiny coat and wide, happy mouth. three days could be a new mattress, if i was thrifty. if i really scrimped and saved, we could maybe afford a trip into the city.
recently i cried in the car about the price of groceries.
business majors will be mad at me, but my most inflammatory opinion is that people should never be valued at the same place as products. your staff should not be a series of numbers in an excel sheet that you can just "replace" whenever you need something at that moment. your staff should be people, end of sentence.
it feels like someone somewhere is playing a very bad video game. like my life is a toy. like someone opened an app on their phone and hired me in diner dash ultra. they don't need to pay me well or treat me alright - they can always just show me the door. there is always someone more desperate, always someone more willing.
but i go to work and know i could save for years and not afford housing. i am never going to own my own home, most likely. i have no idea how to afford her ring, much less the wedding. my dog doesn't have his own yard. everything i love is on subscription. if i lose my job, i have no "nest egg" to catch my falling.
this thin life - they want me to give up summer for it. to open my mouth and throat and swallow the horrible hours and counted keystrokes. they want me to give up mountains and any non-federal holiday. to give up snow days. to give up talking to my mom whenever i want. to give up visiting the ocean and hearing the waves.
bread and circus worked for a while, actually. it was the kind of plan that would probably now be denounced by republicans as socialist commie liberal pronoun bullshit.
but sometimes i wonder if we should point them to the part of the history book that says: it worked until it didn't.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#i have a good job please shut the fuck up before telling me to get a better job#girl i have vision and dental.#if u blame the victim that's wild. do u know about economic systems
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#it’s 3 am I need to ramble#so I’ve been working both of my new jobs for about a month now#one being a traveling dental assistant and one teaching dental assisting#but with teaching since I’m an adjunct I’m only getting 12 hours a week with that#and working as a dental assistant 1-2 days a week#but I’m making almost double teaching as I do as a dental assistant#so it kind of evens out as it would if I was working full time as an assistant#and I really do enjoy the teaching part so much#but I don’t think I could move out and not struggle right now#like it would be tight#but I was talking to my supervisor yesterday and she was asking me how I’m liking teaching and if I would still be wanting to come back#next semester and I said yeah because I really enjoy it and she was like good so we can count on you? and I said yeah of course and she#said well it’ll probably be a lot more hours if you’re okay with that#and I was like shskakjd well duh yeah I would#if I can get more hours at the pay I get as an adjunct I could move out sooner than I thought I would#because I thought I’d be at home for a couple more years at least and I definitely couldn’t handle that#but I’m really hoping I can get at least 20 hours as an adjunct next semester I think we can only work up to 25 anyways#heck I’d be okay with 15 hours#so I’m really excited and i really enjoy teaching#I’m still learning and I hate that this class is my Guinea pig class but I’m giving them lots of extra credit opportunities to make up for#it and I gave my first anatomy and physiology class test yesterday and only one person got an F and I was so happy about that#because anyone that has ever taken a&p can tell you it’s brutal#so I’ll take that as a win and I guess it kind of means I’m doing something right#I even had one 100 and I was over the moon about that#and my other boss for my traveling temp assisting job texted me and told me that two offices were requesting me on Mondays since that#really the only day I’m available not teaching so that made me feel good too because I really don’t like being a temp it’s so stressful but#if two offices are requesting me that makes me feel good because I felt like I was doing horribly because it makes me so nervous doing it#since I just graduated#but yeah I just had to share because it’s 3 am and I slept late today and I can’t sleep now
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and they were roommates pt. 2
pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!student!roommate!reader summary : the BAU team works the case, you get to help word count : 2.3k warning : canon-typical violence, mention of violence and sexual violence A/N : thank you all so much for all the love on part 1 of this !!! I love getting feedback, it's incredibly motivating ! I will probably do a part 3 :)) Also, my cat is sitting next to me as I write this, which I find quite funny
part 1, part 3, part 4
Back at the police station, Spencer had trouble focusing on the case. His mind kept wandering over to you, wondering what you were doing, how you were doing. He was on edge and the entire team could feel it. Hotch pulled him to the side to ask him if he wanted to give you a phone call. Reid refused, but settled on sending you a text, something he never usually did while working. Something he never usually did because he wasn't the biggest fan of technology and also because he couldn't decipher how you were actually feeling without hearing your voice and all the quirks in the way you spoke which gave away your real feelings.
Sent by Dr. Ironed Socks : < Hey. How are you doing? > Sent by You : < Ok, I'm having a tea on the couch. Geoff is in REM sleep on my lap. Thx for checking <3 >
Your text was followed by a pixelly picture of your slightly overweight (Spencer couldn't use that term to describe Geoffrey around you or you'd get upset) orange cat sprawled out on your lap, legs and arms askew, fast asleep. Spencer felt a small wave of relief spread through him. You were okay for now. Geoffrey was looking after you. Later, he'd help you process and give you all the tools necessary to get over such a traumatic event and move on. It was almost as if that was in his job description.
Returning to the room where the BAU team had settled in, Spencer sent Hotch a grateful nod. Hotch moved his lips in what resembled a small smile, Reid couldn't be sure. "Okay," Garcia's voice resounded from the speaker sitting in the middle of the round table, "I've contacted all of Mary Goldman's professors and it turns out she didn't go to class today. Her first class was at 11:30 but she never showed up." "None of the students we interrogated on campus had seen her after 10:15," Emily spoke up. "Spencer's roommate saw her between 10:30 and 11:00," Rossi intervened. "Okay, we'll get her to come in," Hotch affirmed. Spencer's whole body tensed. You had been the last person to see the victim. His mind was so busy reeling, thinking about everything you'd have to go through as the most promising witness, that he missed Morgan's question.
"Reid?" Derek raised an eyebrow. "Uh, sorry, what did you say?" "What was the time of death according to the coroner?" "14:30," Rossi answered. "It was 14:26, actually," corrected Reid. Rossi rolled his eyes. "Okay, so the unsub has his victim between around, let's say 11:15, and 14:26," Rossi shot a pointed look at Spencer, "that's about three hours and 11 minutes. In those three hours, he had time to take the victim someplace where neither of them would be seen or heard, beat and sexually assault her, and finally dump her in smack-dab in front of the university." "He's definitely organised and wants to send a message," Emily thought aloud. "But what is he trying to say? Look at what I can do? You can't stop me?" "Friends," interrupted Garcia, "I'm going to need at least some information before I even try to get anything out of a search. He's taking and leaving them on campus, so I'm guessing he doesn't necessarily need a vehicle. Does he live in the area?" "Yes, he's local or knows the area, he knows these women and he most likely knows the campus. Search for white males, early twenties with a record of violence and sexual misconduct. Cross-reference that with victims of reported abuse and sexual abuse in the last twenty five years. Run background checks for all university staff. Also have a look at similar victims and MOs in this area in the last five years. This may not be his first time," spoke Hotch. "On it, I'll get back to you when I've found something." "Thanks, Garcia."
You'd taken a shower as soon as you'd arrived home. The water was too hot and you'd scrubbed your skin too hard but getting out, you felt a slight bit better. Heavily disliking the way you still felt, you opted for a cup of Earl Grey tea with milk and sugar. Settling on the couch with a steaming cup in your hands, you tucked your legs beneath you and sighed.
Images of Mary's dead body were printed onto the inside of your eyelids. You still couldn't believe it. Your mind reeled as you tried to think of an explanation for it all. Whichever path you followed, you came up empty. You could not comprehend or imagine any reason of taking the life of an innocent person, especially in such a violent way. Luckily for you, you still didn't know the extent of the violence.
A familiar noise pulled you from your dark thoughts. Geoffrey had just jumped down from his cat tree. You watched him stretch and languidly walk over to you. He meowed once before jumping onto the couch, right next to you. You moved your legs so that you were sitting cross-legged and scratched his head. He purred in delight and pressed himself against you. He sniffed at your tea with an unimpressed look before climbing into your lap before letting himself flop down on his side, stretching out his appendages. You cooed as his pink toe-beans stretched too and laid a hand on his belly, scratching gently. The vibrations of his purrs had a calming effect on you. "Are you trying to make me forgive you for biting my ankle the other day when I wouldn't give you any more treats? You know Spencer says you're a bit overweight, I was just trying to get him to stop body-shaming you, my love..."
A few minutes later, you get a text from Spencer. About thirty minutes after that, you get a phone call from him. "Hey, would you mind coming to the station? It turns out you're the last person to have seen the victim."
"I'll do the cognitive interview." "Reid, I don't think that's a good idea." "Look, yes I'm invested, I know that. But I also know her and-" "Reid, no. This is the reason we such have procedures." "But I-" "Reid." Hotchner's tone translated finality. Spencer's shoulders sank in defeat. He had figured that if he had been the one conducting the interview, maybe it would have been less traumatic for you. He hated the idea of not being there for you, with you, during such a trying moment. He bit his bottom lip.
"I'll do it," volunteered Morgan. Reid felt slight comfort at that, Morgan was one of the few people he would entrust his life to. He could entrust you to him for the interview, even if he didn't like it. Hotchner nodded. "Reid, you work with Garcia, focus on finding other victims with the same MO to help build the profile." Reid nodded and went to find his colleagues.
When you entered the police station, it was almost like he could feel your presence. He came to find you straight away, not wanting to leave alone even for a second. "Hey." "Hey." Reid immediately pulled you in for a meaningful embrace, burying his face in your hair. The smell of your shampoo, conditionner and body wash were bliss to his nostrils. They were a promise that you were here, you were safe, you were okay. Morgan watched from afar, a small smile playing at his lips. He knew Reid, and the hug you exchanged was both too hasty and too tight to be anything casual. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry to have to make you come in, but they're going to do- well I wanted to do it but they wouldn't let me, so it's-"
A slightly older, very muscular and gentle man stepped forward, holding out his hand to you. You shook it. "I'm Agent Derek Morgan. I'm one of Spencer's colleagues. I'll be the one conducting the interview, seeing as there's a conflict of interest with you and Spencer. I hope you can understand that." You introduced yourself and looked at Spencer before answering Derek. "Yes, I understand, it's- it's not a problem." "Great, if you could just follow me, please?" You licked your lips and sent Spencer a look, which he answers with a nod of reassurance and a small smile, before following Derek.
"You can close your eyes if it makes you more comfortable." You were sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair. The light above you was ticking at uneven intervals and the room smelt of worry. You didn't know how you could get any more comfortable, but listening to Morgan's even, alto voice helped a bit. "Okay." You closed your eyes. "You told Agent Rossi that you crossed the victim somewhere around quarter to eleven. Is that correct?" "Uh, yes." "Where did you cross her?" "In the main hall." "Where were you going?" "Um, I had just been to the bathroom and I was heading to my Anglo-American Literary Survey class." "Okay, can you describe to me everything about the moment when you crossed the victim? What you saw, what you felt, smelled, heard? Was anything out of the ordinary?" You opened your eyes.
"Um, I'm sorry, but could you stop referring to Mary as the victim, please? She has a name, which is Mary Goldman, and a victim wasn't the only thing she was." Derek was slightly surprised at your comment but understood where you came from. Separating from the name was a way for profilers to gain some distance from the horrendous violence. Personally knowing the victim, you didn't have such luxury. "Of course, I apologise. What did you feel when you crossed Mary? Was anything out of place?"
You nodded in thanks and tried to bring yourself back to that moment. It seemed unreal, how such a small interaction suddenly held such importance. "O-Okay, uh, my hands are still a bit wet. There weren't any towels in the bathroom. I saw her after she saw me and we exchanged a smile. I thought she looked really pretty today, but I didn't tell her. We really don't know each other that well." "Okay, that's good. Was she wearing anything out of habit for her?" "Uhh, no, she was wearing a pleated skirt and a sweater vest. She often dresses like that, I don't know exactly why I thought she looked pretty. I guess she just looked happy. Nothing was out of the ordinary." "Good. Could you hear or smell anything?" "Yeah, well, there were the voices of other people in the hall. I can hear girls laughing. I smell Mary's perfume when she walks past me. She always wears the same one, it's Chanel, Mademoiselle Coco specifically, she told me once at a party."
"Okay, do you know where she's going?" "I- yeah, she's heading for her Behavioural Neuroscience class." "Is she walking in the right direction?" "Uh... Yes, yes, she is. She's not in too much of a hurry, though, she doesn't like the teacher." "So why is she heading there already, then? The class only starts at 11:30." "She likes to reread the material from the previous week before the class starts." "Why doesn't she like the teacher?" "No one does, all he does is read off his slides and he's a jerk when it comes to grading."
Morgan suppressed a smile at your comment. "Okay, thank you so much, Y/N, this was very helpful." "Was it? I didn't feel like-" "Yes, I promise you've just shared some crucial pieces of information." "O-Okay, if you say so."
All eyes were on Morgan as he entered the briefing room. He put his paper coffee cup down on the table and looked at Hotch. "Nothing was out of the ordinary. Mary was wearing habitual clothes and the same perfume she always wore. She was heading to the same class, as she did weekly, at the same time. My guess is this guy knew her routine and did a blitz attack. Y/N gave me the number of Mary's best friend, and according to her, Mary didn't have any guys in her life except for her dad and brother."
Hotchner nodded. Spencer couldn't help but feeling proud of you for being able to go through with the interview and to provide such useful information, too. He'd have to congratulate you when he got home. "Pretty boy and I found three similar victims in the last three years. They weren't connected to this case because they were in another university, just on the other side of the state line. Last year, three girls, university students, were killed, same MO, all disappeared for about three hours before being found dead in front of the university, they attended," Garcia spoke from the speaker. Spencer nodded in agreement to her words. "What did the police find back then?" asked Emily. "Nothing, they- uh, did all they could during the month that the three murders happened but after the third victim, the unsub stopped," Spencer answered. "Stopped?" Emily repeated, brows drawn together in confusion. "Yeah, he just- stopped killing and disappeared. Our best guess is that something triggered him then and that the same thing triggered him now."
"Oh, another thing," Garcia sounded reluctant to share the information she had, "I looked at all the victims' pictures and... well, I'll just send them to you, that'll be easier."
Spencer's blood ran ice cold as he stared at the four girls on the screen. They all looked exactly like you.
Taglist : (all those of you who wanted a part two <3) @princess-ofthe-pages @usuck @theylovemelody @empressgraytea @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillianacristina
#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic#Spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds
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die - jegulus - @stag-microfic - word count: 189 - 15 September
“Hmmmmmm,” James dragged it out, dramatically rubbing his fingers against his temple. “I’ve got one. First kiss?”
Regulus turned onto his side to face him. Black curls spilling over the pillow. “You sure you can handle that one, Potter?” Their noses were almost brushing.
“I’m capable of not being jealous, you know”
Regulus stifled a laugh. “Sure, baby”
“So do I know them?” James pouted.
“It was Barty.”
“Barty?” James chuckled.
“What’s funny about that? We were in fourth year and hadn’t kissed anyone yet. He said he would rather die than turn fifteen without having kissed someone. Perfectly reasonable.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just Pads owes Moony a galleon now”
“You placed bets on who my first kiss was?” Regulus asked, unamused.
“Oh it was years ago. Moony guessed it was Barty and Sirius said that his baby brother has and would never kiss anyone,” James sighed fondly thinking about his best friend. “Don’t pout,” he said, planting a kiss on Regulus’ lips.
“And yours? Your first kiss?”
“Ahhh,” James avoided eye contact.
“James”
James groaned, “It was Sirius.”
Regulus recoiled. “Grosssss,” he laughed, shoving James away.
#dead gay wizards#marauders#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#the marauders#starchaser#sunseeker#stag microfic
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FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT ☆ YJW



SYNOPSIS: falling for your best friend's cousin was never the plan, but as you and jungwon grow closer, keeping secrets gets harder. Especially when minju starts to notice!
PAIRING: best friend’s cousin!jungwon x f!reader
GENRE: fluff, angst(most of it), flirty jungwon, high school au, love at first sight kinda, mention of panic attacks , A LOT of angst, pov switching, intended lowercase, possible mistakes
FEATURING: enhypen sunoo, illit minju, zb1 gyuvin, kiof belle , bnd taesan
WORD COUNT: 12.8k (ik it’s crazy)
A/N:lol 😝 this is a revamp (?) of my old ass smau which has like 2 chapters LMAO. i was thinking about writing it as a long fic for like a year and finally did it! first long fic too bruh. pls lmk if u like it 🥹 also english is not my first NOR my second language 😭 so sorry if there are any mistakes ; tagging @miumura
check out the masterlist —> here !
“minju, where are we going now?” — you whine, not wanting to walk again, you were pretty sure that you already had over 15 thousand steps today, and yet, minju has another place she suddenly wants to go. “i am tired”
“you’re always tired” she claims, staring into your eyes. “you’ll like it, I promise”
you groan, tilting your head back. “every time you said this, I end up regretting it later”
“excuse me?” minju says baffled, “did you regret the arcade? the rooftop picnic? the train to nowhere?”
“…okay, those were fun,” you admit, narrowing your eyes. “but i’m still tired”
she grins, already tugging your wrist. “it will be quick, just a few pictures. i’ll even let you pick the filters!”you sigh, following her. “fine fine, but if I look half-asleep in them, thats your fault”
“deal!”
you knew that you would give in, you love minju. she is your best friend after all.
the photobooth minju suggested to go to was located in the popular arcade, the one you went to that one time. as you walk in, the neon glow of the arcade flickers above you, minju is already almost at the booth area, you quickly catch up with her, escaping the air filled with buttered popcorn and soda scents. you’re mid laugh, looking at the ridiculous stickers displayed at the entrance when—
thud.
you barely register the warmth of another person before you stumble back, almost falling off your feet.
and then you look up.
wow.
you almost forgot how to breathe.
he is gorgeous. the guy standing in front of you is tall, hands stuffed in pockets.
for a second, his gaze locks onto yours—in this mere moment you notice his boba eyes, lightly curled hair and his catlike features.
you realized you probably looked like a creep, so you break off the eye contact.
“y/n, are you alright? you almost fell down” minju took a hold of your hand, worry visible on her face, before it disappeared as she looks in the way of the person you bumped into.
your best friend scoffs. “ugh, seriously? again?”
again? your brows knit together as you glance between them.
that guy chuckled, his gaze locked on you again. “I’m happy to see you too. didn’t know you had such a pretty friend.” he says with utmost confidence. you can feel the warmth appearing on your cheeks at his compliment, trying to avert your eyes somewhere else.
“oh my god, can you not?” minju sighs dramatically, you never knew she could be so annoyed at sight of someone. huh, guess there is a side of her you don’t know of.
“what? you won’t even introduce us?” he smirks, not looking away from you.
“fine, jungwon this is y/n, y/n this is jungwon, my cousin.” a nth dramatic sigh escaped from her.
so he is minjus cousin…
“nice to meet you, y/n” he says, extending his hand for you to shake, your name rolling off his tongue the way you never thought you would hear.
“uh, yea, nice to meet you too” you stutter, mentally slapping yourself for it. that’s what you say? seriously ?
“you’re really cute, you know?” jungwon suddenly said, you still didn’t calm down from the previous compliment and he throws another one at you?
the blush on your face only deepens, making you look like a tomato. gosh, so embarrassing…
“sorry, but she’s off limits to you, don’t try.” minju remarks before you could even respond.
“off limits, huh. that’s a shame” her cousin replies. “oh well, we can still be friends, right y/n?”
mention of your name makes you jolt, and before you could even think, you agree. “Of course! Yea, we can be friends, no problem”
“y/n?! whatever, just don’t cross any boundaries” ou, maybe you shouldnt have said that.
minju grabs your wrist, pulling you towards the booth. “you can ignore him if you want to”
you let yourself be dragged away, but as you step in the photo booth you make a mistake of looking back.
jungwon is watching you, a smug grin on his face, like his cousins words don’t mean a thing to him.
If only you knew that it was just a beginning.
since it was a little holiday break before the school starts, you decided to visit your favorite record shop to finally buy a vinyl from your favorite group, arctic monkeys.
walking in, you feel the warmth of the cozy atmosphere. the record shop is filled with a quiet melody, which you recognize but can’t put a name on. the air is thick with the scent of old vinyls, worn leather, and a faint trace of coffee coming from the counter. your fingers skim over the albums on display, the rough texture of cardboard meeting your skin. the lighting is dim and golden. it was a place where time slows down. you loved it.
when you find the needed section, you scan the variety, thinking which vinyl you should get. your eyes stop at the familiar black cover with a white sound wave—AM, one of your favorite albums of all time. weird how you never got it, since your first choice song, fluorescent adolescent, is on it.
your hand extends towards the album, and as you almost take it, it disappears from your sight. you firmly turn, hand still in mid-air, eyes locked onto the thief who dared to snatch your treasured almost-purchase. and then—you freeze.
yang jungwon.
the same guy who shamelessly flirted with you back at the arcade, minju’s cousin. but now, the smirk he had the first time you met is nowhere to be found, replaced by an expression that you can’t quite read.
“jungwon?” your own voice comes out before you can even think. maybe you should get that checked out.
he blinks, then lets out a small laugh that gives away his disbelief. “huh, didn’t think that i’d run into you again.”
your gaze flickers to the album he still holds in his hands. “didn’t think you’d steal my vinyl either, but here we are.”
“steal? didn’t see your name on it.” the smugness you remember makes its way back onto his face.
“i literally was about to grab it,” you huff, crossing your arms.
jungwon tilts his head, examining the record while considering something, at least from the looks of it. “you have good taste, but i’m not sure if i should be impressed or offended that your first arctic monkeys vinyl wasn’t this one.”
“i didn’t really ask for your judgment,” you say, rolling your eyes.
he grins, offering the album back to you, but as you were about to take it, he pulls it back. “how about this?” he muses, eyes shining. “i’ll let you have this if you… beat me in a game at the arcade. let’s keep it fair and simple.”
your brows shoot up. “you can’t be serious.”
he shrugs his shoulders. “oh, but i am. you win—you get your precious AM album. and if i win?” he slightly leans in, just enough to make your heart do something stupid. “you take me out for coffee.”
you can sense heat creeping up your neck as he goes back to his original position. “that sounds more like a win-win for you, though.”
“exactly.”
you narrow your eyes at him, pretending to think about your options. jungwon watches you with amusement, twirling the vinyl between his fingers. finally, you sigh. “alright, lead the way.”
his smirk widens as he gestures towards the door with an exaggerated bow. “after you, my lady.”
you roll your eyes but can’t hide the flutter the silly nickname gave you. feeling his presence behind you, you go through the aisles of the store. the dim light fades into the neon gleam of the arcade across the street. the distant sound of buttons and clicking fills the air, instantly reminding you of the last time you were here.
but before you can dwell on it any longer, jungwon steps beside you. “hope you’re ready, because i won’t go easy.”
you glance up at him. “never expected you to.”
maybe you should have been a little bit less of a nerd and agreed to gyuvin’s and taesan’s offer to go to the arcade.
you’re losing horribly. you did not expect jungwon to be this good at the games.
it all started with the air hockey—you were in the lead for the first few minutes before jungwon suddenly interrupted your scoring streak and literally humbled you. was it karma for being too confident?
then came the basketball shootout. jungwon scored three points out of five effortlessly. “i’m not going easy this time,” he teased.
“you said that six times already,” you muttered, focusing on the game before you, remembering the basketball lessons you attended in middle school.
your first shot bounced off the rim, making jungwon’s smile wider. “what’s wrong? scared?”
you ignored him, concentrated again, and—swish. the next shot was clean. then the next one. and the next one. and also the last one.
jungwon’s confidence wavered as you scored four points. you won.
he huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “you got lucky.”
you grinned. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” it was finally your turn to tease him.
now, the dance dance revolution is happening. the glow of the DDR machine flickered as the game loaded. the platform beneath you slightly vibrated, metal panels cool under your shoes.
as soon as the game started, the arrows flooded the screen. the music played through the speakers, matching your moves. jungwon was beside you, moving effortlessly, barely missing a step.
you, on the other hand, weren’t so careful. your movements were a little frantic, messy, but fun. laughter bubbled up between breaths as you nearly tripped on a tricky move.
“is that all you got?” jungwon teased.
“just wait,” you huffed, eyes locking onto the screen.
the song sped up, so did both of you.
your movements became more precise, matching the beat. the combo is unbelievably high right now, and everything seemed good.
until it didn’t.
you can feel yourself slipping because of the slick material of your shoes. already prepared for the impact, you’re expecting the pain, squeezing your eyes shut—
but instead, you feel warmth engulfing your hand and bringing you back up.
“careful now, it’s still not the end,” jungwon says while holding your hand and continuing to dance.
you, having no choice, but to carry on with your movements, but now, with intertwined fingers with the guy beside you.
laughter filled the air as the music started to fade away before it completely stopped and the game started to count your scores.
you, still breathless, still holding hands with jungwon, look at the screen.
87.
you feel proud, but you quickly glance at the screen next to yours, and it says the exact same thing.
you look at each other’s eyes before bursting into chuckles again.
“so it’s a tie?” he asks, turning to you.
“i guess so,” you reply, chuckling a little bit.
“alright then,” jungwon says while tilting his head towards the exit. “we both get what we want.”
you nod, still catching your breath. “right. first things first—my album.”
“lead the way.”
as you both made your way back to the record shop, the warm scent of vinyls and coffee filled the air again. scanning the shelves, you grab the desired AM album before jungwon could.
he just laughed. “happy now?”
“very.” you grinned, already going to check out.
when you paid for the vinyl, you find a phone right before you.
“put your number in. you promised me a coffee, remember?” he reminded you.
for a second, you hesitated, remembering minju’s words.
“come on, we had a deal.” a little pout appeared on his face, making you chuckle.
“alright, alright.” you take the phone from him and enter your number before giving it back. you feel your own phone vibrate in your back pocket.
“just making sure it’s real.”
“do i look like someone who gives fake numbers?” you scoffed.
“not really. more like someone who’d block me instead.” jungwon hummed.
you opened your mouth to protest, but before you could, he was already heading toward the exit. “i’ll text you. be ready.”
and with that, you were left alone near the checkout station of your favorite record shop, with the number of a really handsome guy who was off-limits.
the break ended, and you were back at school. the bell rang, signaling the start of lunch. you packed your bag and headed toward the cafeteria to meet up with your friends. when you arrived, you could see your friend group sitting at your usual table.
“hey, everyone.” you greet them, sitting near belle. you unpack your lunch, listening to the conversation flowing around you. belle was excitedly talking about some new drama she started, while minju scrolled through her phone, occasionally nodding. across from you, gyuvin and taesan were locked in some silly debate about whether mint chocolate was a real ice cream flavor or not. the usual chaos filled the cafeteria—laughter, the clatter of trays, and distant complaints about break ending too soon.
just as you were about to take a bite of your food, minju nudged your arm. “so,” she started, “did you end up getting your album?”
you put your chopsticks down. “yeah, why?”
belle perked up. “wait, didn’t you say jungwon was there too?”
at the mention of the guy’s name, minju sighed dramatically. “ugh, don’t remind me. of course he was. he is everywhere. seeing him at school and family gatherings is enough for me, but no, of course not.” she complained further, making belle laugh.
taesan, who was half-listening, raised an eyebrow. “jungwon, as in your cousin yang jungwon?”
minju sighed again. “yes.”
gyuvin smirked, leaning toward your side with curiosity. “this kinda sounds like a wattpad story. you and jungwon at the record shop? what happened?”
you shrugged, not wanting to give details. “nothing much, we just ran into each other,” you say, leaving out the arcade and the bet. technically, you didn’t lie—you did run into each other.
minju scoffed. “yeah, and he used his annoying charm, didn’t he?”
belle grinned. “that explains why y/n looked a little flustered.”
you decided to ignore her comment, but the way minju stared at you made you shift uncomfortably.
before she could interrogate you further, a new presence approached the table.
jungwon.
your breath hitched as he casually walked past, chatting with some of his friends, some of whom you recognized. jungwon didn’t stop, but as he passed, his gaze found a way to you—just for a second. a glance and a knowing smirk.
your stomach did a weird flip.
taesan must have noticed because he nudged you with his elbow. “uh-oh. what was that?”
you quickly shake your head. “nothing.”
minju, however, caught on immediately. “y/n.”
you ignore her, suddenly finding your lunch very interesting.
but your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you had a guess who that was.
jungwon: hope you’re not backing out of our deal, pretty girl :)
you locked your phone, hoping no one saw that message.
yeah… this was going to be a problem.
if before you never noticed jungwon at school, now it’s a different story.
minju was right—he is everywhere. you go to the vending machine? he is there. go to your locker to grab a textbook? jungwon is across from you, near his own locker. even in the cafeteria, he always seems to find a way to sneak a glance at you. what’s worse? he makes it obvious. always smirking at you, showing off his dimples. at times, texting you compliments, reminding you of your promise to get coffee with him.
now, as you come out of the teachers’ lounge after discussing your projects with the physics teacher, you really hope not to bump into jungwon.
but luck is not on your side.
as you step out of the teachers’ lounge, you barely take a few steps before a familiar figure casually leans against the wall beside you.
“took you long enough.”
you blink at jungwon, who’s watching you with his signature smirk. “were you waiting for me?”
he shrugs. “let’s say i had a feeling you’d pass by here.”
you cross your arms, raising a brow. “and why exactly would you wait for me?”
“well, i think someone still owes me coffee.” he tilts his head, pretending to be in deep thought.
you can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “i didn’t forget.”
“good, because i was starting to think you were trying to escape from our little deal.”
you scoff. “please, if i wanted to, you wouldn’t even see me.”
jungwon chuckled, clearly amused. “is that right? guess i’ll have to keep an eye on you.”
he steps back, shuffling his hands into his pockets as he starts to walk down the hall. “meet me at the front gate after school, yeah?”
“yeah, yeah. don’t be late.”
he grins. “i should be the one saying that, pretty.”
and with that, he disappears into the crowd, leaving you standing there, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up your neck.
but someone noticed the blush on your ears, and they weren’t overjoyed with it.
minju and you had been friends since middle school. she truly cared about you, thought of you as her best friend. but as she watched your interaction with her cousin, she couldn’t help but feel the disappointment creeping in.
she wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much—maybe it was the way jungwon looked at you, like he already had you all figured out. or maybe it was the way you looked back at him, the kind of gaze she had never seen you give anyone.
minju had always been protective of you—it was a responsibility she felt. she had been by your side for years. through every bad grade, every family argument, every late-night conversation about life. you were her person, and she assumed she was yours too.
but now, watching her cousin tease you with his shameless smirk, watching you try to stop the smile from appearing on your face, she felt like someone had stabbed her with the sharpest knife.
it wasn’t jealousy, as she thought. she didn’t really care about jungwon chatting with her friends, but the thought of him stepping into the space she always thought was only hers, the thought of you abandoning her for her cousin—made her stomach twist in pain.
she knew how jungwon could effortlessly pull people in with his natural confidence, and she knew you too, how easily you could be swayed with kindness.
was she overreacting? maybe, but as she caught the faintest blush on the tips of your ears, she couldn’t shake the feeling that made her feel horrible.
and she wasn’t sure she was ready for it.
the afternoon sun hung low as you stepped out of the school grounds, only to be met with a familiar smirk. jungwon was already waiting, leaning against the fence, looking too pleased with himself.
“thought you’d run off and break our promise,” he teased.
you rolled your eyes, but the corner of your lips twitched. “you wish. i take my debts very seriously.”
“so buying me a coffee is a debt now?” he raised an eyebrow, pretending to be offended.
“you practically scammed me into doing this.”
jungwon let out a laugh, his dimples showing. “and yet here you are, willingly taking me to the café. interesting, isn’t it?”
you didn’t have a comeback for that, so you stayed silent, making him chuckle as he opened the café door for you.
you both walked to the counter to make your orders.
“i’ll have a peach iced tea, please,” you ordered your usual.
jungwon hummed, looking at you with an amused expression. “peach iced tea, huh? didn’t think you’d be the sweet type.”
you almost looked offended. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
he grinned, turning to the barista. “i’ll have an iced americano. card, please.”
you blinked. “wait, what?”
jungwon shrugged, handing over his card before you could protest. “consider it a treat. since, you know, you’re already so sweet.” his tone was playful, but the smile told you he knew exactly what he was doing.
you groaned, hiding the warmth creeping up your face. “you’re impossible.”
he simply laughed, nudging your arm lightly as you both stepped aside to wait for your drinks.
you didn’t think jungwon would be an interesting person to talk to.
yeah, he made you feel something, but you just brushed it off as pointless flirting.
but as the conversation between the two of you kept going, you realized there was more to him than just smooth lines and smug grins. he was funny—witty in a way that kept you on your toes. he listened, asked questions, and actually seemed interested in your rants about movies, books, music—whatever else slipped past your lips.
at some point, you caught yourself not hiding the smiles anymore, leaning in a little closer. it was easy—too easy—to get comfortable around him.
still, you reminded yourself: it was just playful banter. nothing more, nothing less.
at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
as the evening settled in, you and jungwon stepped out of the café. the cool air was a stark contrast to the warmth of your conversation. the streets were quieter, bathed in the golden light of street lamps.
“you didn’t have to walk me back, you know,” you said, glancing at him.
“i wanted to.”
you didn’t protest, secretly enjoying the way his presence made the walk feel shorter, lighter—better. the conversation continued, usual teasing remarks mixed with moments of quiet comfort. by the time you reached your doorstep, an unfamiliar hesitation lingered between you two.
“well,” you started, gripping the strap of your bag. “thanks. i had fun today.”
jungwon grinned, but this time, there was no smugness behind it. his smile felt softer. “me too. see you tomorrow?”
you nodded, stepping inside, giving him a little wave he reciprocated. when the door clicked shut, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
as jungwon walked away from your house, the usual confidence in his steps faltered. the night air felt heavier, and for the first time in a while, he found himself deep in thought.
at first, it was fun—teasing you, watching you get flustered, sneaking in compliments just to see your reaction. it was easy, something he never took seriously.
but now?
now there was this unknown feeling in his chest, one he didn’t understand. the way you laughed, the way your eyes lit up as you ranted about your favorite songs, the way you looked at him when you thought he didn’t notice—it all replayed in his mind, like an arctic monkeys album on repeat.
he liked you.
the realization hit him. it was both exciting and terrifying because it wasn’t harmless flirting anymore. it wasn’t a game anymore.
and suddenly, fear crept in—the fear of messing up, of ruining the dynamic you already had, of what minju would think, of what you would think if you found out how he was starting to care.
with a sigh, he pulled out his phone, hesitating before typing a message. but in the end, he deleted it, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he continued walking.
for now, he’d play it safe.
but he knew these feelings weren’t going to disappear anytime soon.
minju has been acting weird. not in a way that it’s obvious to everyone—she still laughed at gyuvin’s dumb jokes and rolled her eyes when taesan ranted about some rock band he had a hyper fixation on. but with you, something shifted.
she didn’t text as often, and when she did, her replies seemed distant and dry. at lunch, she still sat beside you, but the stiffness in her posture gave out how she was forcing herself to act normal.
you had a guess it was about jungwon, but there was no direct proof. she hadn’t said anything, nor confronted you. she hadn’t even mentioned his name. when you caught her looking at you, you could see an unreadable emotion—something about it pained you so much, no words would be able to explain it.
the worst part about it all—she pretended everything was normal, when it was clear as hell it was not.
did she think you wouldn’t notice?
you had enough.
after a week of minju’s distant behavior—short replies, the forced smiles, all the excuses—you could not take it anymore.
so when the last class of the day ended, before she could storm off as she did the past week, you gathered up all the courage you had and reached for her wrist.
“minju, wait.”
she froze for a second, carefully turning to you, her expression blank. “what?”
you exhaled, steadying yourself. “can we talk?”
you could recognize slight hesitation in her eyes. but then she sighed, pulling her wrist from your hold. “okay.”
you didn’t miss the way her shoulders tensed, she already knew what you were about to say.
as the teacher stepped out of the classroom, leaving you two completely alone, you opened your mouth to say something—but nothing comes out. the guarded look on minju’s face made you hesitate.
still, you pressed further. “minju… have i done something wrong?”
her brows furrowed, like she did not expect that. “what do you mean?”
“you have been avoiding me—barely talking, no daily update texts, you don’t even look at me!” you said it all in one breath. “please, tell me if i have done something wrong.”
she scoffed, shaking her head. “you didn’t do anything.”
“that doesn’t sound really convincing.”
she exhaled heavily, gripping the strap of her backpack. “i just—” she stopped herself, biting her bottom lip, before muttering, “nevermind, it’s nothing.”
you frowned. “it is if it’s making you act like this.”
she looked conflicted, her fingers twitched, like she wanted to grab something, maybe steady herself. then, she let out a humorless chuckle.
“you really don’t get it, do you?”
you raised your eyebrow, signaling her to elaborate.
minju sighed. it wasn’t her usual frustrated huff, it was heavier, emotionally deeper.
“it’s jungwon.”
you blinked. “jungwon?”
she nodded, letting out a breath she was holding. “you and him. i see the way you two are.”
you looked at her confused, not exactly understanding what she meant.
she looked at you, her eyes did not hold any frustration behind them, they were hurt.
“i hate it.” her hands clenched at her sides. “i hate seeing you with him. i hate that your smile is brighter with him rather than me.”
your breath hitched at her sudden confession. “minju…”
“i know i shouldn’t feel this way, i know it’s selfish,” she continued, her voice wavering. “but i can’t help it. you were my best friend. and now—” she swallowed hard.
“now, i feel like i’m losing you.”
you could feel your heart ache. minju had always been at your side, and you’re making her feel like this.
you took a step closer, taking her hand. “ju…”
she shook her head, wiping a few stray tears with her free hand. “i just don’t want you to leave me behind.”
you hesitated, guilt twisting inside you. fidgeting with your fingers, you remembered all the times minju had been distant lately, the way she avoided you, the way warmth in her was replaced by something unfamiliar, colder. it wasn’t about jungwon. it was about you. about her. about the space growing between you.
you couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her more than you already did.
your arms flung around her, hugging her tightly. you whispered, “i won’t see him anymore.”
minju’s eyes widened. “what?”
“if it brings you that much pain… i’ll stop.”
for a moment, she stared at you, as if she didn’t believe you. then her lips parted slightly, letting out a shaky breath.
“…thank you,” she whispered, hugging you back.
you gave her a small smile, as you continued to hold her. but deep down, you felt something twist painfully.
you ignored the feeling, because if staying away from jungwon would fix things, then that’s what you will do.
you will keep your distance. you will ignore the way your heart pulled you in the opposite direction.
making things right with minju was what mattered the most.
but as you held her, a storm of emotions burst inside you, and you couldn’t ignore the feeling that this decision would leave a crack in your heart that might never heal.
that night, as you lied in bed, the weight of your promise crashed on you like a big pile of stones. every time you closed your eyes, you saw jungwon’s smile — the way his dimples would appear when he teased you, the way his eyes softened when you reacted to it. you tried to push these thoughts away, telling yourself it was for minju, but to no avail. the harder you tried to fight it, the more his face lingered in your brain. was this really the right thing to do?
you decided to scroll through your chat with him — for the last time, before everything comes to an end. going back to older texts, you stared at your phone, that one message glowing on the screen: “hope you’re not backing out of our deal, pretty girl”. a smile tugged at your lips, before quickly wiping it away, remembering minju’s tear-strained face. she was—is your best friend—your person. you had to fulfill what you promised. but then why did it hurt so much, even from a mere thought of letting jungwon go?
you decided to go wash up, maybe a cold shower will freshen you up.
that’s what you thought.
the cold water hit your skin, sharp and biting, but it did little to wash away the mess in your mind. you stood there, letting the water hit you, hoping that it would drown out the thoughts about jungwon. but instead, it only made them louder. overwhelming thoughts clouded your mind. what if this was all a mistake? your—whatever it is—with jungwon. maybe he really didn’t care about you, maybe he was just bored and decided to play with you. but then you remembered the way he looked at you — like you were the only one in the whole world. undoubtedly, jungwon made you feel like it. you remember the way his hand held yours back in the arcade — warm and steady, like the tickling of a clock. even now, you swore you could still feel it, under the icy stream, the ghost of his touch hugged your fingers.
was it possible to miss someone that much?
after what you thought would be a refreshing shower, your mind never cleared up. changing into pjs and trying to sleep—uncountable attempts at emptying your head and tossing and turning in your bed.
concluding that trying to fall asleep was pointless, you went to your small balcony, the cramped comfortable place with a small couch. you always liked it, the way the city noise faded into distant hums, the way the sofa would cradle you when everything was too heavy.
you hugged you knees to your chest, looking up at the star-filled night sky, the cool air brushing against your skin. the familiar comfort of the balcony couldn’t help with the ache in your heart. why did it have to be like this? why did you have to choose between the person who was always there for you and the person who made your heart race in a way that you’d never felt before?
life is so unfair.
you knew that the next day would be challenging. you woke up earlier than usual, just so you wouldn’t bump into jungwon at your locker, just so you didn’t have to regret the decision.
one thing you were grateful for—jungwon wasn’t in your class. belle and gyuvin were—they helped you to empty your mind, they made things so much easier for you. at that moment you silently thanked them for being there.
during lunch, you sat at your usual table, forcing a smile as belle and gyuvin had a heated debate over something silly again. minju was next to you, her laugh ringing out as she teased gyuvin for his unluckiness. she was looking better, happier.
she gave you hope that everything might be okay. when she noticed you looking down, which she always did, she took a hold of your hand, squeezing it lightly. you looked at her, smiling and squeezing her hand back, signaling that everything was okay.
it was a lie.
you noticed jungwon coming closer to your location with your peripheral vision and you couldn’t stop yourself from looking, but you had to. you could since the way his gaze lingered on you for a second too long. you couldn’t reciprocate it, you shouldn’t. so you didn’t, you simply ignored him, rather engaging in a chat with your friends about who knows what.
this choices pained you, but you didn’t pay attention to it. thinking everything will be alright as long as you don’t acknowledge it. just to make sure, you squeezed the hand in your again, hoping the gesture would help to relax, but all it did was remind you of the promise that could be broken with a single glance.
it will be fine.
that’s the phrase you kept telling yourself, over and over, like a mantra. but as you sat there, surrounded by your friends, their laughter and chatting filling the air, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were lying to yourself and everyone else. you didn’t wanna believe it, refusing to accept your own thoughts. everything will become easier.
right?
the rest of the day passed in a blur. everything was as usual—you answered some questions in class, nodding along your conversations, even laughing at the right moments. you tried to delude yourself into thinking that everything was fine, and you almost succeeded. in the back of your mind, thoughts about jungwon still lingered.
when the last bell rang, you let out the sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding. you hurried back to your locker, you had to go home as quicker as possible, you didn’t want to encounter with anyone. but to your luck, fate had other plans for you.
“hey”
the familiar tone of his voice made you freeze. slowly closing the door to your locker, you stepped back, to make the distance a little bit longer between you two, as it didn’t feel as an enormous canyon already.
as your gaze met his, for the first time today, you were stunned. there he was in all his glory — jungwon. he was casually leaning against the lockers, hands holding his backpack.
“you’ve been avoiding me” the way he said this was light, but it carried something heavy, his eyes tell everything.
you open your mouth to deny, but you can’t. because its true. you have been avoiding him. you did everything just to not interact with him. suddenly, you can’t look him at the eyes, unable to focus on anything, your eyes run across the hall, just to find something. anything.
“is everything alright?” his soft, somewhat scared tone made your eyes flicker to him again. this time, he wasn’t looking at you, instead, he stared at the floor beneath him.
if the smirk that had a place on his face at the start of the conversation, now it disappeared. his face carried so many emotions, but one stood out the most.
fear.
this is the first time you see him like this, the confident, cocky jungwon, was now too scared to look at your eyes, asking such a simple, but at the same time difficult question. you didn’t know what to do.
one part of your mind whispered—to apologize for ignoring him, to hug and to comfort him. you want to say that you didn’t want to make him feel like this. but on the other hand, someone screams at you to go away, to stop seeing him, to tell him to block your number. and the one thing that pulls you to do so, is the promise between you and minju.
you never have broken your promises, never. even in the third grade when you got one C, you promised your parents to get 100 in all the classes next semester. that you did, even when you were sure that they wouldn’t mind if you got less. even in the 7th grade, when you promised to bake cookies for all your friends, with zero knowledge of baking. you still did it, even if the taste wasn’t that amazing. you still did it.
you can’t break the promise you made yesterday, the promise to your beloved best friend.
what you were about to do will hurt you, and you will definitely regret it, but it just had to be done.
“lets stop this” you say sternly, trying to hide away all the pain that your own decision brought you, hoping that it will ease the impact on jungwon, fully knowing that it wont.
“what?” his head shot up, a surprised look evident on his face. for a moment, he just stared at you, as if waiting for you to laugh and say it was a joke. but that moment didn’t come, his expression shifted, confusion and hurt played on his face, along with something you couldn’t quite pinpoint.his eyebrows furrowed, “are you serious?”, his voice cracking slightly.
you just nod your head, despite the storm and explosions inside your brain. fixing the bag strap on your shoulder, you just walk away, like it didn’t bother you, like you didn’t care about the record shop, arcade, cafe, like every his message didn’t bring you joy, like you didn’t care about him.
each step was heavier than the last one, you could feel the way he stared at you from behind, even when you wanted to, you wouldn’t dare to meet his eyes. if you did, you were sure you’d break.
tears welled up in your eyes. you want to apologize, want to say that it was just a stupid prank. but you couldn’t. not even for him.
as you walked away from the school grounds, you let tears spill, not able hold them back anymore. you wiped them away, but they kept coming, they were serving a reminder of what you just did, what you just lost.
as you walked home, the weight of your decision settled with unexplainable pain in your chest, a constant sickness that didn’t fade.
when jungwon arrived home after that night, he started thinking immediately.
should he confess or should he wait? if the first, then how? where? with flowers? with a plushie? with a vinyl?
as he thought about these, the moments of your talk flickered in his memory. not wanting to forget a single detail, jungwon grabs his notepad and writes down everything he remembers.
even after scribbling down his thoughts, his heart didn’t calm down—it still raced, he couldn’t understand, it was the first time he felt this way, he didn’t think that someone would be able to make his stomach flip with every emotion known to the world. he leaned back in his chair, spinning mindlessly around his room as different outcomes played in his mind. he was fed up with all this overthinking.
he should rest.
that’s the conclusion he came to. jungwon rushed to the shower, turned up the coldest temperature and screamed in terror.
that’s not what you do, idiot
after adjusting the temperature, he basked in the comfortable rain, calming down his mind and heart. that night he slept almost worry-free.
the week went smoothly, usual eye contact with you at lunches became something more, little waves joining the routine. jungwon tried to talk with you during breaks more too, finding you at your locker or vending machine in the backyard of the school campus.
sometimes you would share short jokes with each other, laughing quietly. the other, you would get to know each other more, playing 21 questions, this way jungwon was able to show you the picture of maeumi and find out that you adore dogs, especially the small ones. that small fact brought a smile on his face, he started to imagine the walks that you two would go on, he’d bring maeumi along, and you would have a nice picnic date, maybe.
he was quickly snapped back into reality with your next question, pretending that he didn’t just imagine how you would intertwine hands.
one time, you were quiet with each other. it could’ve been awkward, but it wasn’t, it was comforting actually. the wind gently blowing on you, carrying faint noise from other classes along. you two would just laugh at that while making eye contact.
everything seemed to go smoothly, jungwon was already brainstorming ideas for his confession—already sure with his choice. there was just one question left to ask: what is your favorite arctic monkeys song.
and he was sure that today he would ask it.
the morning went as usual, he got up, brushed his teeth, got dressed and went to school. his first period was math, but even that couldn’t ruin his mindset, which wasn’t unnoticed by his friend, sunoo.
“what’s up with you today? you’re never this hyped for mr. lee’s class”, he asked, looking at jungwon like he grew 2 heads.
“it’s nothing, just have big plans” and that he did, jungwon planned to take you to the vinyl shop where you met during the break. listen to some albums and ask you the question he badly needed an answer to.
“something related to y/n?” sunoo asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
instead of a response, jungwon just smiled, the red cheeks answered for him. and when he heard the giggle his classmate made, the blush only deepened.
up until lunch, jungwon couldn’t contain the happiness he had, smiling through all his classes, even through chemistry. his classmates looked at him like a maniac, i mean, who smiles during organic chemistry explanation?
he didn’t care about all that tho, all he wanted is to see you at lunch, look at your eyes and smile.
when he met up with jay near the cafeteria, he knew that they would pass your usual table, he mentally prepared himself for that moment.
he walked in your direction, that way, you would face each other perfectly, and when he almost waved, you refused to meet his gaze, preferring to engage in a conversation with your friends.
the smile on jungwons face immediately faltered. he felt an instant drop in his chest, confusion overtook his expression, if the cafeteria wasn’t so crowded, he would definitely stand like a deer.
jays arm was placed on his back so he would continue walking, and jungwon couldn’t help but submit. a wave of emotions struck him. what was that just now?
he could only keep walking, but the only thing replaying on his mind was how you turned away from him. over and over.
did i imagine that? maybe y/n just didn’t see me, yea that has to be it.
he tried to reason with his own brain, but the more he thinks about the interaction, the more doubt he has. you looked at everyone else, hell, jungwon swore, you looked at his direction for a millisecond. you saw him, you just—chose not to.
the weird feeling appeared in his stomach, not the one from before, no. it didn’t make him giggly and happy, instead, it made him sorrowful, doubtful.
jays words don’t even make sense now, jungwon can’t hear them, all he can think about is: what did i do wrong?
when he met up with his other friends, his mind was somewhere else, he didn’t answer their questions, he couldn’t even hear them, he was deeply immersed in his own thoughts. every single possibility crossing his mind. he had to ask you what was that.
after lunch, he could not focus. if in the morning it was because of the happiness that distracted him, now it was the misery casting upon him. he had to get out of this class immediately. jungwon counted seconds until the bell. and when finally it rang—he ran to the backyard with all his strength. he doesn’t mind his friends who look at him confused, he has to go to your spot. and when he arrives—
nothing.
jungwon is met with emptiness of the backyard, if you wanted to come here, then you would, your classroom was literally a minute away, unlike his. but you didn’t.
you’re not near the vending machine, not sitting on the bench, and you’re not even crouched down in the corner where you two would usually sit.
then it hits him. it’s not a coincidence.
you’re avoiding him.
jungwon just stands there, not knowing what to do. he takes in the silence—the emptiness. the place that was associated with warmth was colder than any winter.
now he must talk to you. he checks his watch, it was 2 minutes before the bell on the last lesson. he had no choice but to come back. when his friends tried to question him, jungwon just shrugged, signaling that he didn’t want to answer anything.
he just has to wait for another hour. damn it.
when that painfully long 60 minutes passed, jungwon stuffed all his things into his backpack, not caring if it was messy, which was unlike him, he always made sure that his notebooks are all organized. the mess in his head made his actions look chaotic.
when he arrived at the lockers, he saw you. rushing to put all your textbooks in a tiny blue locker. why were you in such a hurry? is it because you didn’t want to see him?
jungwon shakes his head, there was no time to overthink, he just had to ask, you were right here, in front of him.
as he tried to calm his mind down, you were almost done. he leaned against the lockers, almost whispering:
“hey”
jungwon could see you stop in your movements, this little detail made his heart sink, his hands gripping the backpack strap so tightly, his knuckles turned white.
as you carefully close your locker and take a step back, which breaks his heart, you finally look at him, at that moment, jungwon felt mute, he couldn’t get any words out of his mouth, and he had plenty. he wanted to curse at you, question you, adore you, but all that he is able to muster out is — “you’ve been avoiding me”
you look stunned, like you didn’t expect that question, but quickly that expression transformed into one of regret? that only made jungwon more curious at what you had to say. he felt despair, he was dying to know what prompted such behavior from you.
after noticing how your orbs scanned through the school hall, he couldn’t continue looking at you, instead, shifting his gaze to the floor, wishing that it would swallow him as a whole. “is everything alright?”, he manages to whisper.
few seconds later, which felt like an eternity, you look at him, with a stare so harsh, that it felt like a hit by a metal bat.
“let’s stop this” you say, and jungwon can’t believe his ears. his breath got caught in his throat. you didn’t have to specify what you meant by ‘this’. it was obvious, you both acknowledged the growing tension between the two of you.
he felt like a deer in headlights. “are you serious?” he asks, because he feels like you’re joking. he is waiting for you to laugh at him, to point his expression, just say something, anything.
but you don’t, you just nod, rubbing salt into the wound. and when it couldn’t get worse, it did. you turned away and walked away. just walked away. the ache in his chest spread all over.
jungwon felt devastated. after everything — you just turn away from him? he wants to cry, to break down, but doesn’t find any strength in himself to do so.
he just watches your figure slowly disappear when you walk towards the direction of your home.
you cried the whole evening.
when you just got home, you broke down, disturbing everyone present. your mom looked so heartbroken at the sight of her daughter in such misery. and she couldn’t do anything but give you a comforting hug and offer your favorite tea, which was enough.
your dad decided to give you space, which you were grateful for. you didn’t know what to do and what to think. you just…had no idea.
even your older brother gave you some space by not teasing you for your tears, feeling that it was something serious.
when you went up to your room, you dropped your bag, which resulted in a loud noise, but you paid no mind to it, you just wanted to cry.
not bothering to change out of your school uniform, you collapsed onto your bed. the dampness of your pillowcase only reminded you the reason why you were crying.
jungwon.
the way he looked so hopeful, but so doubtful at the same time. visions of him only strengthened the flow of your emotions.
you want to apologize, to call him, to confess in everything you felt, how he made your heart race, or how you couldn’t think straight way back when you two met at the photobooth.
and then you remember minju. how happy she looked, like she was released from the heaviest load. or how she looked when she admitted her feelings, how much stress she buried within herself.
all these overwhelming feelings made you tremble. your fingers curled into the fabric of your jacket, gripping it so it could somehow steady you, like it could calm down the storm in your mind. you tried to take a deep breath, but it only made everything worse—you could smell the scent of cinnamon of your shampoo, the one that jungwon teased you for all the time.
you exhaled. shaky and unsteady.
why did it feel like this?
every time you though of him—his eyes searching yours in the sea of others, his smile with unforgettable dimples, that made you giggle too—it felt like a weight pressuring down on you. you squeezed your eyes shut in attempt to forget those memories, but they clung to you, like lyrics of the song you loved.
you had done the right thing.
then why was the pain so sharp?
monday was a dread. the start of the work week, the sudden change in the sleeping schedule and an overwhelming amount of tasks and responsibilities weighing over you.
but this week, it’s even worse. because this week, you had to face him again.
you still weren’t over the emotions that consumed you over the weekends, still feeling regret, melancholy and sorrow. and that showed in your academics. you had no energy to even talk, there’s no need to mention solving an equation at the board.
thanks to your good reputation, teachers decided to let you rest, that you needed. honestly, you wouldn’t have come to school, if not for the physics quiz, but there is one.
your friends—belle and gyuvin—seemed really worried, asking you numerous questions about your well being. you didn’t wanna explain, so you just said that you didn’t sleep well. an excuse that works all the time.
you felt bad for lying, but you felt that the moment his name will leave your lips, you would break down in tears, not wanting to embarrass yourself further, you saved yourself the trouble.
your look hasn’t changed at all when it was lunchtime. barely making your way to the cafeteria, dragging your legs across the floor. when you did arrive there, you felt overwhelmed, your mind clouded with scrabbled thoughts, and suddenly, it was getting harder to breathe.
trying to compose yourself, you get to your usual lunch table where everyone else were waiting. plumping yourself on the seat and greeting others, you pick on your food, having no appetite, even though you haven’t had breakfast in the morning.
all the words don’t make sense, whatever minju is telling you, it goes into one ear and leaves through the other, you can’t focus on anything.
the struggle to breathe came back. dropping your utensils, you grab your head, not being able to deal with all these noises. you could feel tears forming in your eyes, daring to roll down. the heartbeat went far away from normal.
this is not you, focus y/n
you try to tell yourself, but to no avail. you could feel like the control of your body slipped away from your grasp.
suddenly, there was a sharp sensation, someone is trying to wake you up, shaking you. its minju.
“y/n? y/n! Y/N?”
it is definitely her. her voice stands out from the crowd. you could finally see what’s happening around you, blurry, but good enough.
“follow me. inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale” minju repeated worryingly, imitating what she meant.
you did as she asked, inhale and exhale, and repeat.
feeling the warmth of the real world, you gasp, your hands quickly taking ahold of whatever first came into contact, which happened to be your best friend’s arms.
“y/n! are you alright? what happened?” all the eyes were on you, staring into your soul.
“i…don’t know, i juts lost myself for a second, i guess…”
“come with me, ill walk you to the nurses office” minju says and immediately brings you up, giving you no room to refuse.
having no choice, you follow her, hoping to get a little bit of silent time.
jungwon watched this unfold from few meters away.
the moment he saw you, tirelessly dragging yourself to your friends, he couldn’t tear away his gaze from you, not even the pain you brought stopped him. he just knew that something was wrong.
when the faint sound of chopsticks falling onto the table could be heart, he became tense, stopped eating himself.
the tears that formed at your eyes made his eyes widen, and his posture weird, like he wanted to stand up and come to you.
jungwon’s fingers twitched against the table, he couldn’t, he shouldn’t, but he wanted to.
while he was in the internal conflict, his body moved up on its own, but not making more moves, like testing his limits, if he can hold himself back.
but his mind was too slow. his own cousin was already helping you, trying to snap you back into reality. he could feel his chest tighten at the sight.
was it jealousy? was it sorrow? maybe both? jungwon didn’t know, only you were on his mind.
how he hates to see you in pain and how you pained him. the contrast was overwhelming, but before he could even decide what to do, you were walking away, in the arms of minju.
what was he supposed to do? was he supposed to do anything? questions filled his mind.
he didn’t even notice how he sat back, his mind being too clouded.
jungwon hopes he will have a chance to know if you’re well.
the moment you lied down on the bed in the nurses office —you fell into a deep slumber, having no worry in the world, it might have seemed like that, but it was actually the opposite. the overwhelming amount of things that clouded your mind made you pass out.
to be frank, the sleep was nice. but the sound of someone calling your name disturbed it.
and just like that, you were woken up and met with the face of your own mom.
she sweetly said: “sweetie, i’m here to pick you up. your homeroom teacher told me what happened. are you okay?”
“im fine now. what time is it?” you answer her, scratching your head, ignoring the mess that formed there.
she looked at her watch and looked back at you. “2:30, you won’t miss much, don’t worry”
“alright, should we go now?” you stand up on your feet, holding her hand.
your mother just nodded at you, saying goodbye to the nurse.
when she finished filling out the form, she took ahold of your shoulders, as to steady you.
“im alright mom, i wont fall”
“better be safe than sorry” she said softly, but worry was evident in her voice.
“if that makes you feel better”
as you both sat down in the car, the feeling of drowsiness appeared again. the drive to your house was not short, so you decided to sleep for a bit. your mind was clear as day, like it was washed, which is so unusual for you, especially in the past few days.
when you arrive at the house, you decided to check your phone, several messages appeared, some from social media, some from other stuff, and a lot from the specific group chat.
it was your friend group chat — and multiple messages made it clear that you made them worry a lot.
minju: y/n pls text when you’re feeling better :(
belle: yes! and don’t forget to drink lots of water and rest a bunch TT
taesan: belle is right, you should rest. don’t come to school tmrw
gyuvin: you made us worried bro 😭 don’t scare us like that the next time
smiling at their care, you quickly type a response.
you: sorry everyone! thank you for all the support, and i don’t think ill come tmrw either TT
you: im alright now tho, just gonna rest a lot lol
a few bubbles appear immediately, wishing you a good rest, and saying that you should take better care of yourself.
you reacted to their messages, silently promising that you will do as they said.
putting your phone on the charger, you change into more comfortable clothes and go back to your bed, ready to make up for missing sleep the past week.
tuesday, you, as promised, didn't show up. minju was glad that you let yourself rest, even if it’s just for a day. she was worried about you after all, it wasn't like you to have a panic attack in the middle of lunch.
it was boring though. usually, you’re the one who agrees with minju, the one who would listen to her. it’s not like the others won’t, but it just wasn’t the same.
“whatever,” minju thought. “at least i leave early today”
today was some kind of a family event at her house, her mom loved inviting guests over. jungwon will be there too. minju didn't feel anger as she usually does, talking with you helped a lot more than she thought.
after the fourth period, right before lunch, minju was already packing her bag. as she walked to the gates, she noticed a familiar figure waiting there.
“jungwon?” minju asked, when she was close enough.
the said boy turned around to face her, he didn't seem surprised though, like he was waiting for her.
“oh, hey. my mom will be here soon”
“huh? auntie is picking me up?” minju was surprised to hear that, as she wasn’t notified of this.
jungwon looked at her weirdly, raising one of his brows. “yea? pretty sure, your mom texted you about this.”
minju immediately checked her phone—taking it from her pocket—and jungwon was right. there was a message from her mother that minju will be picked up from school.
“oh.”
awkwardness filled the air; it was weird, the two of them got along just well, playfully bantering, but supporting each other when needed.
“are you alright? you seem pretty out of it” minju broke the silence, genuinely worried for his well-being.
“huh? oh yeah, just fine” he replied, his words trailing off into something barely audible.. “um,” jungwon hesitated.
“is y/n good…?” the question was asked impulsively, jungwon was surprised himself.
minju looked at him weirdly. “yes, she is. why do you care?” the previous awkwardness shifted into something more sharp and stern. friendliness slowly disappearing.
“i guess, i was worried. looked like she was having a hard time yesterday.” he didn't mind minju’s tone, like it was normal for her, which it kinda was.
their one-sided tension was interrupted by the sound of a car honk. it was jungwon’s mom.
“hey, you two! get in! we’re already late!”
the two teenagers looked in her direction and sprinted off to the vehicle. both of them got into the backseat, on the opposite sides. while minju was talking with her auntie, jungwon decided to wear his headphones and tune into his world of music.
when they arrived to park household, minju and miss yang went to the kitchen to help minju’s mom, while jungwon went upstairs to minju’s room.
“you can go to my room” he recalls her saying.
as he walks in, jungwon is met with a splash of sky blue. her bed is made, with different jellycats on top of it, near it, minju’s desk stands, different makeup tools and school stuff lay on it. but jungwon’s attention goes to the board above her desk. different polaroids and photobooth photos are there, but his gaze is fixed on only one.
three photos with you and minju. you look exactly the same as the day when he first met you. the same sweater, hairstyle and lipgloss.
jungwon’s eyes widened. he doesn't know why. he is aware that you’re best friends with his cousin, so why did his chest tighten?
he still likes you.
that’s right. he still does. even after you said that you gave to stop seeing each other, his feelings still lingered.
“hey jungwon, you should go downst-”
minju stopped in her tracks when she sees her cousin staring at her board with pictures. her eyes immediately landed on what he's staring at—those pictures.
“oh, yeah, lets g-” he didn’t have time to finish his sentence as the sudden door slam scared him.
“what’s up with you? first you ask about y/n, and now you’re staring at her photos? didn't i tell you to stop whatever you're planning?” annoyance was evident in minju’s voice. she hated the fact that jungwon looked like he cared about you, minju knew he didn’t, she hoped he didn’t.
jungwon's chest tightened, his hands formed fists as a habit whenever anyone raised their voice at him.
"what are you talking about?" his voice was quite, but sharp.
minju scoffed at his ignorance. “don't play dumb, jungwon. you know exactly what im talking about. its y/n”
his jaw clenched. the sound of her name felt like a hit in the ribs. “what? i can't ask if she’s okay now?” he tried to play it cool, he didn't want to show his vulnerability.
minju let out a dry laugh. “you don’t get to pretend like you care.”
jungwon couldn’t believe what was he hearing now, he can’t back down now, that’s for sure. “you think i was, am pretending this whole time?”
minju was stubborn, her knuckles turned white. “then explain, why did she stop talking to you, huh? if you truly cared for her, then she wouldn’t walk away, right?”
jungwon flinched. his heart rate picked up and his fingers curled tighter into his palms.
he has been asking himself the exact same thing.
he sharply exhaled, forcing his voice to stay steady. “how about you tell me?”
minju froze, her eyes widened, her hands relaxed.
her reaction wasn’t unnoticed by jungwon. that’s when the realization hit him.
“so it was you? you told her to do it” his gaze locked on hers—piercing, demanding to confess.
“yea, so? it was the best choice for her” minju snapped, but quickly quieted down, as she started to pick ner nails. nervousness took a hold of her.
jungwon let out another exhale. “you cannot be serious now” he took a step closer. “who are you to decide what’s best for her?”
minju was triggered, she was everything he wasn’t to you. “i am her best friend, who are you to decide that you’re the one who she needs?”
“are you calling yourself her best friend when you can’t even see and value her feelings?”
“I-” minju had no words. he was right, she made you stop talking with him out of her selfishness. she wanted to keep you for herself. she didn’t want jungwon to take you from her. she didn’t want that to happen again.
“yeah, exactly.” he looked at her for one last time before rushing to the front door. he needed some fresh air.
“jungwon? where are you going?” “to the shop, i'll be quick!”
minju could hear voices downstairs, she was completely frozen. she was slapped with realization that she had no right to decide what’s best for you. even if she just wanted you to be happy.
tears formed in her eyes, silently running down her cheeks. minju leaned against her door and plumped on the ground, sobbing inaudibly.
she can’t just do nothing now. she was proven wrong. she hurt two of her closest people. the guilt was eating her alive.
minju stood up and sprinted to the front door, shouting “i’ll be right back!” ignoring the yell from her mom, she had no time, she had to apologize to you.
it’s a 15 minute walk from her house to yours, but she made it in 7. she started ringing your doorbell, even when she was still catching her breath.
“minju? what’s up- what happened?” you opened the door just to be met with your best friend breathing profusely, her face slightly puffy. from the looks of it, she looks like she cried. “did you cry? are you alright?”
when minju calmed down and was able to breath properly, she looked at you straight into the eyes.
“y/n, i-i am sorry. i’m so sorry.” she started apologizing, for what? you had no idea.
your brows furrowed. “huh? minju, why are you apologizing?”
her hands clenched at her sides. she looked like she wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out.
you had never seen her like this before—so frustrated with herself, so shaken.
she swallowed hard, forcing herself to speak. “i’m so sorry y/n, it was me”
you were still dumbfounded. “what?”
minju’s voice cracked, but she kept going. “i was the one who made you stop talking with jungwon” she exhaled sharply. “i thought it would be for the best, but it wasn’t. i acted on impulse and because i was selfish. i thought if you and jungwon got close, you wouldn’t need me anymore. i didn’t want you to talk to him because of that, but i never asked you how you felt, and i guess you really like him, maybe i knew it the whole time, but didn’t want to indulge into the thought that i was in the wrong, but it doesn’t matter” she rambled before making a quick pause.
minju’s eyes were glistening again, her voice barely above whisper. “i hurt you both with my actions, and i want to apologize.” she wiped her eyes harshly.
minju took a deep breath and stepped closer, bowing almost 90 degrees. “i know i don’t deserve it-” her voice was raw with emotions. “can you forgive me?”
you listened to all her ramblings, trying to catch everything. and when you did, your mind went blank.
you had tried to justify what you did—tried to convince yourself it was for the best. but now, hearing minju say it out loud, admitting her mistakes, the truth weighed heavier than you had imagined. a moment of silence has passed before you broke it off.
“minju, i forgive you” you replied to her apology. “i understand how you felt, and i guess it was wrong to just randomly start talking with your relative.”
minju stood straight and grabbed your shoulders. “no! it was entirely my fault! i have no right of controlling who you decide to talk to.”
you placed your hands on her own. “i never knew you felt that way. i’m sorry for not noticing.” you bitterly smiled, feeling guilty.
minju hugged you, shuffling her head into your neck. you instinctively hugger her back, her tears dampening your shirt.
“come on, i’ll make you some tea”
you had spent an hour or two calming minju down.
she kept apologizing even after you told her you forgive her.
you listened to her worried and reasons behind her actions, and you never knew that she felt like this.
“you should confess to him, you know?” minju suddenly said, making you almost spit out your tea.
“huh? who said i liked him?” you looked around, like searching for the guilty one.
“it is pretty obvious. you never get flustered around anyone. the only time i remember was back in 8th grade.” she put her head into her head. “was his name jongseob, or something? you liked him a lot” minju reminded you of an old crush, which made you more embarrassed.
“ugh, stop, it’s embarrassing.” you lightly hit her. “i don’t think jungwon even wants to see me now. not after i said all that stuff to him.” tearing your gaze away from her, you looked around.
“you’re kidding. he literally asked me only about you today. ‘is y/n okay?’ ‘is she doing alright’ blah blah blah” she exaggerated even more by showing talking signs with her hands.
you quietly laughed at her antics. “i don’t know. i think he doesn’t want to see me”
“if there’s anyone he doesn’t want to see, it’s me, i promise you” she breathed out. “we got into a fight which resulted in me coming here.”
you looked at her with pity. “sorry, i guess, i am the reason behind it”
“stop. don’t blame yourself. it was all me.” minju looked at you sternly.
“sorry-“ you couldn’t hold yourself.
“stop apologizing! you should fix that habit of yours, it starts to get annoying”
you laughed lightly at her, almost apologizing again.
when minju came back home, everyone was gone. her place was filled with silence.
“oh, minju, where were you? you missed everything” her mothers voice filled the air.
“sorry, i had to do something urgent. has everyone left already?” she quickly made her way to the living room, where her dad was napping and her mom was watching the TV.
“yes, about half an hour ago. did you and jungwon had a fight? he looked pretty sad.”
“uh, yeah, it was my fault. i’ll apologize to him soon, don’t worry” minju felt guilty at the mention of her cousins name.
“i hope so, he looked miserable. you two always got along well too” her mom sighed, “go to sleep, you have school tomorrow”
“alright, good night” minju said as she went upstairs.
“good night!”
the next day, you didn’t have any trouble with breathing nor steadying yourself. you were just nervous. in the morning, minju pulled you aside, telling you that you need to confess to jungwon today.
after that, your focus was shifted to something else. how will he react after seeing you? to you confessing? will he reciprocate? will he reject you? all kinds of thoughts filled your mind up until lunch.
you wanted to look for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. when you felt his presence near, you quietly turned your head to look at him, just to find him already looking at you.
kathump.
the feeling in your chest was back. your heart rate sped up again.
a light hit made you snap back, it was minju, she wore a teasing smile that literally said “i told you so”
your mind went back to that interaction the rest of the day. you couldn’t stop thinking about it. but when it was the time to talk to him, you were ready to go straight home.
you were scared. when minju noticed your hesitance, she slightly pushed you.
“your prince charming is waiting, look” she pointed at the direction where jungwon stood.
when you turned to look at your best friend, she was already leaving, mouthing you a good luck.
oh you needed it.
as minju disappeared from your view, you looked back at jungwon.
there he was. hands in pockets, standing tall.
you decided to take one step. and you already felt dizzy.
it’s okay. you can do it.
you quietly said to yourself. you swallowed hard. every step towards him felt heavier, like your legs didn’t want to move.
but you that you had to, that you wanted to.
as you were almost there, he looked at you. jungwon just stood there and watched your approach him. even though his hands were barely visible, you swear his fingers twitched—like he was holding himself back from walking to you.
you stoped in front of him.
silence.
the weight of everything crashed down at once .
“I-“ you started, but didn’t know how to finish. you just stared at him.
and he stared at you back. he blinked at you—his expression unreadable, but his eyes, they were curious, like they were searching for the reason you came up to him.
you turned your gaze to the ground below you, unable to stand under the pressure of his eyes. fingers finding the straps of your jacket.
“jungwon, i-“ you took a shaky breath, forcing yourself to look at him again. “i’m sorry.”
his face flickered with surprise. “for what?”
“for-“ your throat tightened like your grip on your jacket. “for pushing you away. for saying things i didn’t mean. for not asking how you feel. for-“
you exhaled.
“i miss you”
the words made their way out before you could stop them. your feelings summarized in three words. you just missed him.
jungwon froze.
he fixed his posture, continued to look at you, waited for you to continue.
your hands let go of your jacket and balled into fists. “i like you, jungwon” you made a slight pause. “i truly do, i don’t know how and when it started, but-“ you let out a shaky laugh, shaking your head.
“i just know because when i’m not around you, everything feels wrong”
jungwon was still staring, like a deer in headlights, but then, in a second—
his hands weren’t in his pockets anymore, they were on your face.
your breath hitched. you could feel the warmth, both from his hands and your fluster.
his fingertips, warm and gentle, carefully traced over your cheeks-like you weren’t real, like you could disappear in a millisecond.
his voice was barely audible. “are you serious?”
you nodded. “i am”
a small, breathless laugh escapes him.
and then-
he kissed you.
the warmth of his lips connected with yours.
your eyes widened, but you quickly adjusted, closing them, your hands made their way to his shoulders.
when his lips started moving, you couldn’t help but reciprocate. it just felt right.
you kissed each other just right. it felt wonderful.
the lack of air made you pull away first, but jungwon quickly kissed you again.
and when he did pull away, he smiled.
you saw the smile that you adored, the cutest dimples made their way back on his face.
jungwon hugged you, pulling you close by your waist. “i like you too,” he whispered into your ear. “i always wanted to say that.”
you hugged him back and lightly laughed. “so, can i be your girlfriend?” you asked him.
“i’d love that” jungwon replied, stuffing his head deeper into your hair.
you and your boyfriend lied in your room, enjoying each other’s company.
arctic monkeys’ ‘AM’ album playing in the background. and it’s all you could ever ask for.
“still can’t believe minju was the one who promoted you confess” jungwon suddenly said as he played with your hair.
“if it wasn’t for her, i’d never look at your direction again, honestly. you should thank her” looking back at him, you enlightened him.
“nah, we’re even.” he joked. “i’m glad she apologized tho, unexpected from her.”
“stop making her sound like a villain!” you hit him, but you couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “she’s the one who made me go to that photobooth.”
jungwon held you tighter, kissing your cheek. “whatever, i have you now. the others don’t matter.”
at that you could only hum, closing your eyes.
as fluorescent adolescent—your favorite song—started playing, you drifted into slumber in your boyfriends arms.
#read it so many times i started to hate it lol#a month and a half#that’s crazy#super cool works#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen jungwon#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#yang jungwon#enha jungwon#yang jungwon smau#yang jungwon fluff#yang jungwon angst#jungwon angst#jungwon x reader#yang jungwon x reader#fluff#angst
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Sweet Thing [prequal blurb]



Summery: You and Harry are best friends, despite your 15 year age gap. He asks you to be his date at a work party, but doesn’t realize how possessive he just may be.
Word Count: 1.3k
Warnings: older!harry, angst then fluff, age gap (15 years), possessiveness, fem!reader

"Pretty dress for a pretty girl," Harry's voice came from the doorway.
You stood in front of the mirror, carefully adjusting the fabric of your dress. The material clung to you in all the right ways. A swirl of nerves knotted in your stomach, making you second-guess your choice.
You glanced at him in the reflection, feeling a little unsure. "It’s not too much, is it?"
He moved closer, his footsteps light, his eyes never leaving you. "Not at all. You look perfect." His lips kissed your head as his hand gently rested on your shoulder.
Harry had invited you as his date to a work party he was hosting. You’d met a few of his colleagues in passing, but never like this, never as Harry’s date. The thought alone made your palms a little sweaty.
You adjusted your hair and gave yourself one last look in the mirror, making sure your makeup was just right. With a final spritz of perfume, you took a steadying breath and linked your arm with Harry’s. He gave a warm and reassuring smile and led you downstairs.
"Such a gentleman," you teased as he opened the front door for you and guided you into the passenger seat of his car.
He chuckled. "Someone has to be."
The drive was quiet but comforting. Harry was always at ease, making small talk about work, the city, anything to fill the space. When you arrived at the venue, he did the same, opening the car door with an easy grace before helping you step out onto the red carpeted walkway.
"Shall we?" he asked, offering his arm with a charming grin.
You giggled and nodded, slipping your hand through his and walked into the party.
Once inside, the atmosphere was very shiny, polished, full of people wearing smiles that were just a little too perfect. The men shook hands, the women glided in their gowns, and everyone seemed to be in conversation for the sole purpose of making connections.
It wasn’t long before you were swept away by some of the wives, pulling you into their circle.
They didn’t waste any time with small talk, quickly asking you about Harry. "So, how long have you and Harry been dating?" one of them asked.
"Oh, we’re just friends."
The woman blinked at you in surprise. "Really? But you’ve…well, you’ve slept together, right?" She bluntly asked.
The question hit you like a splash of ice cold water. You shifted uncomfortably but kept your composure. "No, we haven’t."
Her eyebrows arched, and she let out a knowing laugh, that was almost condescending. "Well, you could have fooled me."
You had no idea how to respond. Before you could get any words out, another one of the wives chimed in, dragging the conversation in another direction.
Meanwhile, Harry was engaged in a conversation with Eric, a colleague of his.
"She's beautiful, Harry," Eric commented as he raised his glass, a smirk on his face. "How long have you two been together?"
Harry stiffened just the slightest bit before answering, without thinking, he lied, embellishing the truth. "A couple of months. But we’ve been friends for a while."
Eric raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by the distinction. Harry wasn’t an idiot. He knew Eric had eyes on you, despite him being 50 and you being 23. He knew he had no right to interfere, he should have let you reject Eric yourself, but he couldn’t help it.
Later in the night, you found yourself conversing alone with Eric. He was charming and handsome, a silver fox, but something about him made you uneasy.
"You and Harry seem like a great couple," Eric remarked, a glint of something almost predatory in his eyes.
You laughed, trying to keep the conversation light. "Oh, we’re not a couple."
He blinked in surprise. "Really? Harry told me you two were dating.”
“Uh, no, we’re close friends, he asked me to be his date tonight.”
Well, if you’re single, can I get your number? I’d love to take you out." He pulled out his phone, the screen glowing in the dim lighting.
It wasn’t that you were actively avoiding relationships, but you certainly weren’t looking for one at the moment. Still, you didn’t want to make things uncomfortable, especially since you didn’t have the ‘I have a boyfriend’ excuse anymore.
"Sure," you said with a smile, though your body tensed up. You grabbed his phone, typing in your number.
From across the room, Harry’s eyes locked onto the scene. His face darkened, though he kept his distance, the line of his jaw tight.

The rest of the night felt like an endless loop of small talk, but something in Harry’s demeanor had shifted. He was quieter, more reserved around you, though he wasn’t outright rude. You noticed it, the way he was almost avoiding you, his answers shorter, less engaging. But you didn’t have time to dwell on it as the night was already winding down.
"Not really in the mood to stay, bunny." he muttered in your ear, his voice tired.
You nodded. The drive back was silent, but the tension between you both was thick enough to feel like it was pressing against your chest.
"Harry," you began, hesitating, "Why did you tell Eric we’re dating?"
He didn’t immediately respond, his fingers tight on the steering wheel. "Are you really thinking about going with him?" he asked, his voice quiet, but his words sharp.
You raised an eyebrow, playing along. "I don’t know. He’s kind of cute. Do you have a problem with that?"
Harry’s gaze flickered to you for a moment, his lips curling into a tight, frustrated smile. "He’s too old for you," he muttered under his breath.
You didn’t bite back immediately, instead choosing to remind him, "We have a pretty big age gap, you know."
Harry’s eyes flashed, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the wheel. "He’s 50, I’m 38. And he’s just trying to bone a 23-year-old before never talking to you again."
The words stung a bit, you felt a sharp pang in your chest. It wasn’t just the age comment, but the way he spoke about it…like you were some sort of object for Eric to claim and discard.
You were already pulling at the door handle by the time the car came to a stop in front of the house, your silence louder than any words. Without saying anything, you stepped out and headed inside, your heart thumping as you retreated to the bathroom to shower.
Harry immediately regretted his words, he had let his emotions get to him. He decided to wait outside the bathroom door, which was connected to his room, and wait for you so he could apologize. He sat on his bed quietly, replaying the words in his mind, guilt flowing through him.
After a few minutes, you emerged in your pajamas, your wet hair dripping slightly. Without a word, Harry pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you as he buried his face in your neck.
"I’m sorry," he murmured, his voice filled with regret. "I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I just…I just feel protective of you. And I never meant to imply that Eric only sees you for your age and not how perfect you are, sweet thing."
You relaxed into his embrace, a soft smile tugging at your lips as his lips started to travel around your body. His kisses were gentle as they went down your face, across your cheeks, your forehead, then back to your neck, making you giggle and squirm.
"I forgive you," you whispered, your voice light, the tension finally slipping away. “And for the record, I wasn’t actually considering going on a date with him, you’re the only old man I want in my life.”
He laughed out, more guilt rushing through his body, thinking about how much he overreacted when you weren’t even being serious.
“I love you, sweet thing, I promise not to cock block you the next time you’re about to get some…even if the dick is old enough to be your father.”
[read more of Sweet Thing here!] [and here!]

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@mema10
@lizsogolden
#older!harry x younger!reader#harry styles x younger!y/n#older!harrystyles#older!harry#harry styles x younger!reader#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x reader#harry styles#harry styles fandom#harry styles fanfic rec#harry styles fluff#harry styles smut#harry styles x you#harry styles angst#harry styles fic#harry styles story#harry styles reader insert#harry styles blurb#harry styles x y/n#older man younger woman#harry styles drabble#harry styles writing#harry styles imagine#harry smut#harry styles one shot#harry styles au#harry styles wattpad#harry styles aesthetic#harry styles friends to lovers#harry styles roleplay
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i'll take the time, treat you like a lady



pairings: the8 x afab!reader
genre: fluff
word count: 616
cw: periods, mention of medication (ibuprofen), excessive use of “băobèi”
a/n: a request for anon! posting this late bc i legit spent the whole day writing a svt reaction just to get a writer's block halfway through but i still tried to finish it and it didn't end well........

"i'm bleeding, in pure pain, and hormonal."
that's the text you send to minghao on a tuesday afternoon. to be fair, it's the truth. your period came in full swing with no warning while minghao was out, so now you're stuck with bloody bed sheets (that are currently being washed) and the worst cramps you've gotten in your life.
normally, you wouldn't text him over this stuff, but right now, you're definitely not in the mood to be alone.
at first, he responds with, "??" but then follows up with, "i'm On my way!"
groaning at the throbbing pain in your lower abdomen, you curl into yourself and wait impatiently for your boyfriend on the couch.
it’s about 15 minutes before minghao enters the apartment, calling out your name as he takes off his shoes.
he softens when he finds you on the couch, still curled into yourself, arms wrapped around your waist area as you sleep.
reaching out, he almost thinks about letting you rest more, but then you make a discomforted noise in your sleep and he pokes you a little.
“bǎobèi, i’m here~” he sing songs softly, attempting to wake you up. you wink one eye open, and go right back to sleep.
now he’s the one groaning, “aren’t you on your period? you need to wake up so you can take ibuprofen.” unfortunately, you’re too stubborn for your own good, refusing to get up.
he sighs, deciding not to test you, he gives you a kiss on the forehead, “fine, if you don’t want to get up, i’ll just take care of you from here. give me a minute.” you cry out in protest at the absence of his warmth, but that reason is quickly replaced by another strike of pain going through your lower abdomen.
after what seems like years (for you), minghao returns with ibuprofen and a hot water bottle. “here, let me take care of you, love.” he says, stroking your hair and watching you intently as you take the painkiller.
he lays the hot water bottle on you, giving you another kiss before he gets up to go make you a meal when you reach for his arm.
“can you just stay here for a little?”
“but you need to eat something,” he insists hesitantly, though he does consider your suggestion.
“please, hao,” you plead, looking up at him with the best puppy eyes you can muster.
you watch as he goes through an internal argument with himself before finally accepting defeat because he doesn’t want to accidentally make you cry.
“don’t complain when your stomach starts hurting because you haven’t eaten.” he warns lightly (knowing damn well he’d go make you food in record time) as he slides in next to you. you laugh, thinking of something to shoot back, but you feel the throbbing pain come back before you can say anything.
you bite back a curse and fall onto minghao’s chest, whining, “when does it (the ibuprofen) kick in~”
“soon, băobèi, soon.” he murmurs, pulling a blanket over you two and wrapping his arms around you. “it’s gonna go away, i promise.” he whispers along with other reassuring words, holding you tightly.
but once the pain subsides comes the emotional sensitivity…
“what’s wrong, love?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you start crying out of nowhere.
“i was just reminded of this video that had a cat in it and i realized that i’ll never have a cat because i’m allergic. but they’re so cute~” you cry into minghao’s shoulder.
“ah, we can get a stuffed animal cat, it’s okay băobèi.”
“but it’s not the same!”
and this repeats every single month.

#the8#minghao#seventeen#svt#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#the8 fluff#minghao fluff#the8 x reader#the8 x you#the8 x y/n#minghao x reader#minghao x you#minghao x y/n#the8 imagines#minghao imagines#the8 fanfic#minghao fanfic#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#seventeen drabbles#svt drabbles#dokyumms
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Homelander x SupeTeen!Reader
Idk ya'll Homie has really been getting on my nerves recently. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with this one at first, but I LOVE the way it turned out. It was a doozy but it was SO FUN to write! This isn’t proof read just yet so please don’t yell at me💀
Summary: You meet your biological father for the first time at Vought Tower after your adoptive mother's unexpected passing...he's not exactly what you expected.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Homelander (Obviously), death of a parental figure, mentions of death, manipulation tactics, awkward parental conversations???
Being a Supe had never been easy for you, though, luckily you had never been forced to live in a lab. Soon after you were born, one of the Vought scientists had taken you in as her own, -due to the fact that your biological mother had died during childbirth- directly going against Vought's policies. She was found out eventually, to no one's surprise...but this breach in policy gave headway to a new experiment. So, she was allowed to keep you and raise you as her own. You were raised as any other child would be, but you were treated with extra caution...and being the only Supe in school wasn't exactly a cake walk. But the worst thing you had experienced was a little bullying, but your doting, caring, adoptive mother put an end to that rather quickly by talking with the school board. The first 15 years of your life were...tolerable, if not ideal. It was supposed to stay that way...until your mother was found dead at her place of work.
It had only been two weeks since your mother died. In those two weeks, you had been relocated and told, verbatim, that your father was one of the most iconic Supes in the world...Homelander. Now? You were sitting in The Seven's meeting room at Vought Tower, anxiously toying with the handle of the swivel chair you were sitting in. Part of you was still just...numb. Everything you had ever known had been ripped away from you seemingly overnight. Any other child would be over the moon...but you? You were just...detached. You were pulled out of the endless depths of your own thoughts when a voice echoed off the walls of the room.
"Hey there, kiddo!"
You looked up from your anxious fiddling, and were met with the blindingly white smile of your biological father. You did your best to give a convincing smile back, sitting up a bit straighter in your seat. His presence wasn't exactly the most comforting. He tilted his head to the side a bit when you didn't respond.
"You're Y/N...Right? Hopefully we didn't get the wrong kid...that would be awkward, wouldn't it?" Homelander asked with a laugh. He sort of stopped in the center of the room, looking you up and down, like he was trying to evaluate you...to decide your worth. You nod sheepishly.
"Yeah...yeah. That's me." It honestly didn't help that you were the age that you were...it made it more awkward somehow. Homelander didn't say anything for a moment, almost like he was waiting for you to say something else. When you didn't, he sort of chuckled.
"You're not very talkative, are you?" He asked. You had opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off. "I guess that's understandable. Meeting your old man for the first time is no small feat..." He paused for a moment as he evaluated your expression. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom...tough stuff there, kiddo." You took a breath when he mentioned your mother. It was all so fresh...and there were so many things you had recently learned that she had never told you. You didn't even know she wasn't your biological mother until after she died.
"Mmm...Don't be sorry...not your fault."
Oh, the unknown irony of that statement.
Homelander let out a small scoff and frowned. Admittedly, the frown looked incredibly fake...almost like he was mocking you.
"Still...I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I mean, to find out that she was keeping so much from you...after she died...? That must pack an even worse punch." You sort of stiffened in your seat. You weren't exactly stupid...you could read his tone. He was hiding his insults towards your mother with a cruel, mock sympathy.
"She only did it to protect me...I know she did. She wasn't a bad mom, she was amazing, actually." You respond, almost matter-of-factly, your eyes glowing red ever so slightly. "I know raising a Supe couldn't have been easy for her...she had her reasons." It was incredibly hard to talk about your mother in any way, considering she had only died two weeks ago. Homelander sensed your tone, and put his hands up as he noticed the flicker of light in your eyes. It suddenly became clear to him that you couldn't control your powers, which almost made him smirk.
"Hey now, of course she was...Absolutely no hard feelings towards your mom...But I know I would have never kept things from you like that. And registering you at a public school, knowing you're a Supe? That's just...cruel." You were going to continue defending your mother...until he mentioned school. That was something you couldn't exactly convince yourself was a great move on your mom's part.
"School was...a different story. It was rough." You said, pulling your legs up onto the swivel chair so you could hold your knees to your chest. Homelander nodded as he took a few steps closer to you, his hands now at rest behind his back.
"So I've heard...I spoke to your therapist." That comment turned your stomach a bit. Wasn't everything you spoke about with your therapist supposed to be confidential? Homelander noticed the slight change in your expression. "Don't worry, Y/N...I didn't dig into any of the gritty teenager things..." He chuckled, "I was just curious to learn about your school situation. You're a sophomore now, right?"
"Yeah...I will be. In the fall." You said quietly. Homelander smiled, where he now stood beside your chair at the point of the uniquely shaped table.
"Well that's fun, isn't it?" He asked as he pulled out one of the other swivel chairs and pulled it towards him. "One more year and then you're one of the big dogs." You nodded, watching his movements as he sat down, facing you. Everything about him just seemed so...strange. Even the way he moved. It looked almost calculated...and was mildly unsettling.
"I guess..." You said quietly. You sighed as you rested your chin on your knees, grabbing onto the table to reluctantly turn your chair to face his...it was only polite.
"You don't seem too thrilled..." He started, his blue eyes meeting the identical set that you possessed, "Was school really that bad?" That was more of a rhetorical question on his part, he knew everything about you.
"The teasing sucks...They call me 'Laser Eyes'..." Homelander stifled a laugh when you said that, to which you narrowed your eyes.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" He said with a chuckle, "That is the stupidest insult I've ever heard!" Homelander took a moment to stop laughing before he looked back to you. "Look. I'm not laughing at you, kiddo. I would never. But Laser Eyes...? Really? They couldn't come up with anything more original? I mean...Even I'd be hesitant to insult you considering you could just laser them in half." He said. His smile was almost manic looking.
"What?" You asked, almost dumbfounded. "I would never...I could never." You said. You pulled your chin off your knees, your eyes still narrowed.
"Why couldn't you? You're a Supe...aren't you? I mean...mommy swooping in and bribing administration to take disciplinary action against those little shit stains isn't exactly making you out to be the strongest person..." You almost immediately sat up correctly in your chair.
"She bribed the administration...?" You ask softly. Homelander gave a mock frown as he noticed your eyes become glossy.
"You didn't know? Gosh...How much was she keeping from you?" You swallowed as he spoke and tried your best not to cry. The last person you wanted to look pathetic in front of was Homelander...Especially considering his earlier comment about it not being a good look that your mom always had to swoop in and save you. "Awe..." He started, scooting his chair closer to yours. "Don't cry kiddo...It's not your fault that you're so lost...It's hers." Your eyes met his once again, a tear slipping down your cheek, which you quickly reached up to wipe away.
"Lost?" You ask. Homelander nodded.
"Well, most Supes your age, with your abilities usually already have a professional presence...Or at least know how to use their powers correctly." He said, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. "I mean, had I raised you? Had you not been wrongfully stolen from me after you were born? You'd already have a place in the Supe community, followers...maybe even a contract with Vought. You wouldn't just be floating in your own little bubble...You'd have a group. A family." Something in you broke when he spoke. Your mother had stolen you from your biological father? And had he raised you, you wouldn't be so...you? So lonely and misplaced? You couldn't help the tears that slid down your cheeks. It was as if your entire life had been flipped upsidedown.
"She...S-she really kept all that from me?" You asked. Homelander tutted softly, almost pitying you. He stood up and held out his arms.
"Come here, kiddo..." He said softly, with a tone of empty sympathy. You almost immediately stood up and buried your head in his chest. At this point....What else did you have? Who else did you have? He chuckled softly as he wrapped his arms around you, his hug firm, considering he was so much larger than you...yet comforting, despite the strange material of his suit.
'It's alright, Y/N...You're right where you need to be. We'll get you up and running with those powers of yours in no time..." He said softly, resting his chin on top of your blonde hair. He caught the reflection of the two of you in the large window that lit the room and his grip tightened, almost possessively. "You're not alone anymore...got it? You've got your dad to keep you company..." You nodded against his chest, sniffling.
"Got it." You responded softly, hugging him a bit tighter. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe Homelander, no, your father was what was best for you. How could you have been living in the dark for so long without realizing it...? You were truly lost. But everything was okay now. You were finally safe, in your fathers embrace.
Homelander smiled wickedly at his own reflection in the window before he rested his cheek on your head. Finally...he had you. His own child that he had been trying to get his bloody hands on for years...Losing another Vought scientist was a necessary sacrifice in the bigger picture of his perfect narrative...and it all started right here. With you. His child. He smiled as he pulled away from the hug, his hands gently squeezing your shoulders.
"How does a milkshake sound, huh? I know Planet Vought has a double chocolate one that's yummers." You smiled and nodded as he moved his thumb to wipe the tears from your cheeks.
"I love chocolate." You said with a small laugh. Homelander chuckled as he turned you towards the door of the meeting room and started walking, his firm hand on your shoulder urging you forward.
"I know."
————————————————————————
I hope ya’ll enjoyed! I left it open for more parts so totally let me know if you’d be interested in reading more. Writing for Homes is always a questionable adventure 💀 Until next time, Adieu!
#homelander x reader#homelander#the boys#the boys fanfic#the boys fanfiction#billy butcher#vought#the boys season 4#the boys fandom#homelander x male reader#homelander x fem!reader#writer
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Our Little Secret ~ K.HJ
✰ idol!hongjoong x fan!reader where the guys catch hongjoong not so secretly slip a paper into your hand at a fanmeet
✰ word count: 3.6k
✰ warnings: some cussing (nothing crazy), pet names (love), female!reader, glasses!hongjoong cuz that’s enough to drive me insane tbh, she/they pronouns used for reader
✰ a/n: hey so i randomly got this idea one day and decided to execute it lol. tbh im not sure if i’ll keep updating this or not just because it was only supposed to be a little drabble but im 87% sure i’ll continue it just so my friends don’t hold me at gunpoint to finish it😭😭
✰ italics are used for inner thoughts, bold italic is just to emphasize words, also don’t pay attention to the timestamps for the texts later on k that’s it
dividers are created by @cafekitsune tysm !
you were late, you were so late, and you couldn’t blame anyone but yourself.
today has been marked in your calendar for almost 2 months, the day that ateez finally had a fanmeet in your city. you had saved up for the event for so long that when they announced it you didn’t hesitate to snatch your card out of your wallet to buy tickets for you and your best friend, kaylani.
but today you completely fucked your schedule up. oversleeping was not in your plans and neither was having to iron your outfit and rush to catch the train, just for it to delay for 15 minutes. in addition to the 5 minute bus ride from the station turning into a 30 minute walk because the bus you and your friend needed to catch didn’t run that day. who knew?
by the time you finally got to the venue, security were already trying to lock up the doors. i mean, it made sense considering they started meeting fans almost two hours ago.
“hey!!” kaylani shouted to try and get the guards attention. one of them looked up, utter confusion on his face as he watched two young girls jogging at them from across the parking lot.
“please we- we have tickets. the train made us late, but we cannot miss this event” you breathed out as fast as possible, trying to catch your breath at the same time. lani shuffled around for her phone to pull up the virtual tickets before the guards shrugged and scanned both tickets to let you in. “you girls either have really incredible or really horrible timing” one of the guys commented and told you to have fun.
you both squealed the second you got inside.
following the arrows and signs, you reached the auditorium that ateez was having their fanmeet in. now usually, fanmeets had a show in the first half and the actual meet in the second. but thankfully this time around it was swapped, meaning you guys didn’t miss any of the actual show. would it possibly be delayed because you were late? ehhh you’d cross that bridge when you got to it.
“we’re really here holy shit that’s ateez 20 feet away from us-“ you started rambling before lani cut through your thoughts with another squeal. she saw her bias, that had to be the only reason
“ITS JONGHOOO AHHHH”
“wow kaylani, it’s almost like he’s in the grou- AHHH LOOK ITS HONGJOONG”
kaylani rolled her eyes and mocked you. “wow y/n it’s almost like he’s in the group.” touché.
it wasn’t long before you realized they had changed quite a bit for this fanmeet. for example, the boys weren’t sitting in age order, or what you and lani called “fanchant order”. jongho was first and hongjoong was last, which didn’t really matter, but you knew your heart would race more and more as you got closer to your bias.
joong was your ult bias and had been for 4 years. you loved all of the members (duh) but the thought of possibly holding that man’s hand sent you over the moon. sure he held other girls hands, but this was gonna be your moment.
“bro. bro we’re next” kaylani whisper shouted while gripping your shoulder.
“unhand me you fein- oh god that’s jongho like he’s real.”
“RIGHT THATS THE CHOI JONGHO. 4TH GEN VOCALIST AHHHH” if you couldn’t tell she was a jongho ult before, it was super evident now. and because of that, you let lani go first.
******
if she could’ve, kaylani would’ve talked jongho’s ear off for 40 minutes. luckily he seemed intrigued by what was being said, laughing and giggling along with your friend. and now you wish you went first instead.
eventually she moved to wooyoung and was out-yapped, while you talked to jongho, really just telling him all of your favorite runs and verses he had. then you moved down again, and again, got to san and almost forgot your morals. he had you giggling for your life and the blush on your face was impossible to hide. he was THE ateez flirt.
but you and kaylani kept moving. to be real, since you were the last people in the room, there was no real rush but you decided to be mindful of the boys time.
yunho and yeosang were adorably nerdy and a hint of shy in real life, seonghwa really knew how to catch you off guard. one second you were talking about his lego collection and the next he was spewing out compliments and grabbing your hand. you tried to turn your face to hide your blush again, but you turned right into hongjoong’s direction and almost screamed. he was staring at you, and hard. what you hadn’t realized was kaylani whispering how much you “loved him” and how he was your “ultimate bias and first choice for a husband.”
yea you were either gonna go back to jongho and tell him how she brought his photocard to prom, or you were going to murder her.
you finished with seonghwa and slowly moved to hongjoong while lani stood off to the side and snuck a few pictures. “so. i’m your ult huh?” hongjoong questioned, arms folded across his chest.
you gulped, “y-yea you’ve always stuck out to me,” your voice came out in a whisper. hongjoong chuckled and leaned forward a bit.
“i’m your ult but you have no problem flirting with san and seonghwa in front of me, yea?”
“i don’t see the difference between that and you holding a bunch of fans hands, flirting with them.”
your mouth worked faster than your brain could, and you regretted it the second you finished the sentence, slapping your hand over your mouth.
hongjoong tilted his head and raised an eyebrow over the rim of his glasses. god he looked good in glasses. “quite the mouth on you…”
“y/n” you finished his sentence.
“y/n..” he trailed off like he was letting your name marinate on his tongue. “really pretty name for a really pretty person”
now you were really blushing. you didn’t care if it was fan service, he was servicing the hell out of you and you were eating it up. “thank you joong..” and he smirked in return.
******
you talked for a while (ok like 5 minutes) praising joong just like you did all the other members. he asked you what your favorite songs were, and san jumped in when he heard you mention desire. “honestly such a hater, desire is a masterpiece!!” you exclaimed as the top desire defender in tinyville. joong and san laughed before san walked off backstage and hongjoong picked up his sharpie, doodling while you talked.
you just kept going, your level of yapping surpassing kaylani while she was talking to jongho. hongjoong was eating it up though, especially when you started listing your favorite rap verse from him, even saying you could tell an ateez song by his signature giggle.
“it’s a bit embarrassing but i’ve listened to the songs so much that i just know? your music saved me, genuinely.” you trailed off before joong grabbed your hand.
“i honestly think it’s adorable.” he replied with a genuine smile. his smile was warm and bright, like lights on a christmas tree in december. you were soon brought back to reality when a guard told joong he had to wrap up with you so they could move on to the show. he nodded while messily writing something on a small piece of paper with his non dominant hand, still holding your hand with his other.
“well i guess this is goodbye, y/n. it was really nice talking to you and your friend” joong said, subtly crumbling a paper up in his hand before going to slip it into your own.
you weren’t dumb, you played like you didn’t even realize, following along with his skit. “it was really nice to meet you joongie,” you replied with a soft smile before you both got up and walked in your respective directions.
******
“you aren’t slick joong, i saw that.” san whispered while the group got dressed for the next part of the show. he was putting on a school boy uniform, adjusting the blue tie that went with it. hongjoong sat next to him, tying the shoes that he swapped into.
“doesn’t matter if you saw it, managers didn’t see it.” he responded with a shrug. joong knew him getting caught would mean having to change his number and most likely block you if you ever reached out to him, but in his head it was worth the risk.
“if i saw it, how do you know they didn’t see it captain?”
“because i waited till they turned around. and to be honest, i don’t care if they saw. i liked her.”
“liked who?” wooyoung asked as he walked over to steal san’s cologne. “because if you mean the last two people that came in, i don’t blame you! the last one was extremely pretty..”
joong just shot wooyoung a side eye before grabbing his phone, letting out a small sigh at the sight of no notification from you. he thought you guys had a little connection, right? then again-
“she probably just thought you were servicing her. ya know, your job.” san said stiffly, fixing a few stray strands of hair. joong clicked his phone off and threw it to his side with a slight head shake. maybe san was right, you probably didn’t look much into it considering it was his job to service his fans. maybe the managers did see him and they took the paper after you were out of joong’s sight. he was getting stressed over a girl he just met and even though his friends were talking to him in logic, hongjoong refused to learn that language.
he let out another small sigh before ruffling his hair and clapping his hands together to gather the group to get on stage. he had to clear his mind so he could perform. “alright guys let’s do this. hana dul set,”
“fightingggg!!” the boys yelled in unison and cheered, hyping each other up for what was to come. one by one, the boys started leaving the dressing room to take their places in the wings of the stage curtains.
seonghwa made sure everyone made it out, before looking back to see hongjoong lagging behind. “you coming bub?” joong looked at hwa, then his phone on the couch, and back to hwa before sending him a quick nod and walking out the door.
he’d be able to make it through the show.. right?
******
“soooo we’re just gonna ignore what happened back there? you know i saw that right love?” kaylani pressed you while fixing her lip gloss, making you jump out of your thoughts.
“what happened?? we just had a normal conversation!”
“normal my ass. you talked for like five minutes and then KIM HONGJOONG SLID YOU HIS-“
you slapped your hand over her mouth. you were in the empty bathroom but there was no reason to take any chances of a manager, or even worse, a fan overhearing and reporting back to one. “kay, i love you. dearly. but please lower your voice love…”
she sighed behind your hand and obliged before complaining about you smudging her lip combo. you rolled your eyes and pulled the crumbled sheet of paper from out of your jacket pocket to show your friend. the numbers were a bit wayward, but joong was writing with his left hand so it was understandable. he somehow still managed to make it legible enough for you to understand though.
“it’s his kakao talk im assuming. i still have the app from when you and i had to use it when i was in seoul.”
“do you know for sure it’s his number ?”
“of course i don’t know for sure kay, im trying not to lose my mind right n-“
“text it.”
that may have seemed like the obvious answer but you were still extremely nervous about getting caught. and the idea of getting caught by a manager was still circling around in your brain. “there’s a chance that he’s waiting for your text ya know. just text it and see.” kaylani finished with a shrug, her lips popping as she finished up her lip combo. you took a deep breath before shakily grabbing your phone and opening your kakao talk.
what were you even going to say ? hi ? that sounded basic but there really wasn’t much else to do. there was no reason to say your full name because, well, what if it wasn’t truly him ? lani must’ve gotten bored of watching you stare at your phone without typing anything because after a few seconds your phone was in her hands as she drafted up and sent a message for you.
“KAYLANI !???”
“it’s fine, i just said hey and that it was the girl from the fanmeet. unless he’s going around giving his number out to every pretty girl like a whore, he’ll know it’s you.”
she handed your phone back to you before throwing her hands on your shoulders and flashing you a slight smile. “it’ll be fine ok? now let’s go watch our boys do the utmost embarrassing shit!”
you nodded in response and stepped out of the bathroom to make your way to your seats.
now what your best friend didn’t know when you bought your tickets was that you saved enough for front row. and the surprise was pretty evident by the screech she let out once you dragged her to the seats in front of the stage.
“no way no way we’re this close HOLY- y/n forget hongjoong will you please marry me???”
you just laughed and playfully pushed lani towards her seat, “get off of me and sit down goofball.”
******
“2 minutes to showtime!!”
the lights were dimming as the members stood in the wings of the stage, mic packs being adjusted and pinned onto the boys. wooyoung was humming some vocal warmups to himself before he walked over to hongjoong. “jeez captain, lighten up. you look like yeosang told you that hwa was his favorite hyung and not you…”
hongjoong jumped, unnoticeable to wooyoung, and scoffed in response to his statement. “please, as if that would ever happen.”
“ah you’re right. you look like your mom told you that bumjoong is the favorite child.”
“is there a point to your escapades or do you just enjoy annoying me?”
a look of fake hurt flashed across wooyo’s face in response, “ouch. you must really be missing your pretty girlfriend to talk to your best friend like that joongie.”
hongjoong spun towards wooyoung and gave him, yet another, death glare. “keep your voice down are you insane ? listen, we have a job to do, get focused on that.” and with that he stormed back to his place on stage. just take a few breaths and it’ll be fine… no reason for you to snap on your members.
“places guys; 10 seconds!”
he didn’t think it was possible, but that 10 seconds was both the longest and shortest time of hongjoong’s career. he knew you were in the crowd, he knew he had to do his best just for you. but what he wasn’t expecting when he scanned the crowd was to make direct eye contact with you and your friend in the front row.
oh he was soooo fucked.
so fucked that hwa had to elongate his intro and improvise an extra end part to get joong to snap out of his daze.
“ah i’m sorry, i got caught up looking at all of our beautiful atiny! hi guys, my name is kim hongjoong, captain of ateez!!”
the crowd seemed to take it well, i mean his job was fan service. but in truth, he was lying, he was only looking at you. and to his surprise, you were looking back; in fact he could feel your eyes on him frequently, and anytime he didn’t it was just because you and your friend were laughing together.
hongjoong kept finding himself on your side of the stage, often sending you flirty glances and winks during his verses; and god you were eating it up. not to mention how obsessed he was with getting you to smile. unfortunately for him though, he had to give that same energy to everyone for his actions to not be so obvious. even more unfortunately for him, san and wooyoung were on his ass the entire time, which caused seonghwa to send suspicious glances joong’s way. fuck.
hwa approached joong halfway through the show, once they were offstage during yunho and mingi’s unit performance. “fess up, why are you clinging to one side of the stage and why do you keep zoning out?? it’s not a good look and it’s making us look unorganized on stage.“
hongjoong just toyed with the hem of his sleeve in silence. to be honest he was trying to focus but he was drunk on the thought of being able to make you smile. there wasn’t anything he could say to get hwa off of his back, so he opted for a shrug.
“are you not feeling ok? you should’ve said something beforehand joong-“
“i’m fine.” please just drop it…
“fine.” hwa started, preparing his mic to get back on stage. the irritation was evident in his actions, but his voice was still soft. “but you’re the leader, just know this shit is on your shoulders if management says something.”
hongjoong just nodded in response, following seonghwa’s actions in fixing his mic. “that’s 50,000 won for calling me leader and not captain by the way.” he retorted with a smirk before running back on stage to meet the audience’s cheers.
******
“okay atiny, you guys enjoying the show?” yeosang asked, receiving a loud roar of approval from the crowd.
“i take that as a yes! but unfortunately…” jongho started his sentence, and atiny realized that the show was coming to an end. “hey hey we don’t want to leave either, but we have one more performance for you guys! are you ready??”
the rest of the guys were set up on a prop couch for the last song, each of them holding a red or white rose, as they waited for jongho to join them. once he did, the speakers started playing the instrumental of seventeen’s “ready to love” and seonghwa started off the cover, the crowd going insane.
eventually the boys got to the ending and handed out (or really threw) their roses to people in the crowd. and to no one’s surprise, hongjoong sat on the edge of the stage and handed his white rose to you, his fingers gliding over yours during the hand off, causing a goofy smile to take over your face with a light pink blush. kaylani teased you after making sure to get the entire interaction on video, you simply rolling your eyes and covering the camera in response. joong winked before getting up to join the members for their final bow and go back to their green room.
“thank you atiny!! we’ll be back soon” san yelled as the curtains closed and yunho and mingi peaked out to wave one last time.
******
hongjoong was the first one back in the room, his mind filled with your smile and whether or not you texted him. he loosened his tie and jogged over to the couch where he left his phone, anxious but also eager. but when he heard the members following close behind, joong grabbed his phone and rushed to the bathroom; mostly to avoid being teased by wooyoung, reprimanded by seonghwa, and shamed by san.
“you ok captain?” mingi asked from the other side of the door. “you left kinda in a hurry..”
“y-yea i’m fine, drank a lot of water earlier.”
mingi just shrugged it off with a low “okay” and went back to the other members, hongjoong letting out a small breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. he clicked his phone on and surprisingly saw a kakao notification from an unsaved contact. hongjoong’s face lit up brighter than his phone screen as he opened the app to reply.
but wait. was it you or a stalker?
did someone else possibly see the paper he gave you?
was he overthinking? yes. but most of it seemed logical.
joong sighed before he reread your message.
?: hey
?: it’s the girl from the fanmeet
still he had to confirm it was you.. and he had a pretty decent idea of how to do it.
joongie: really? then say something i said to you earlier
joong figured you would take a while to write back but you actually replied right away.
?: “really pretty name for a really pretty person”
joongie: i’m glad you texted me y/n :)
he just smiled at his phone, thinking of what to text you next. should he ask to facetime you maybe? should he flirt or was it too early for that? joong’s mind had a million tabs open at once but he really wanted to live in the current moment-
until wooyoung decided to be obnoxious and bang on the bathroom door like the police.
“hey some of us actually have to pee ya know!”
open tab number one million and one, strangle jung wooyoung…
#kim hongjoong#ateez fanfic#ateez#ateez x reader#hongjoong#ateez fic#ateez hongjoong#wooyoung#san#seonghwa#yunho#mingi#yeosang#jongho#ateez texts
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