#what if i said this happened to me ö

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Hiii!

I got a bit of a silly request. Maybe poly tf 141 + los vaqueros (+ König if you want to) X male Swedish reader?

They’re going to ikea to help out furnishing the reader’s new apartment. Except they all keep butchering the names of the different furniture.

I imagine König would be the closest since German and Swedish have their similarities.

But I swear Soap would absolutely destroy the pronunciation. Poor gaz, rudy, price and Alejandro would try but fuck it up too and Ghost would get frustrated and in the end just not try. He’d sulk and make up some dumb argument that he doesn’t need to pronounce it “correctly” cus ikea is dumb for keeping it Swedish even in other countries or smth like that.

(Ik it’s a bit random but I’m Swedish and I think it’s so cute when I hear (mostly) English speaking people try to pronounce the words. Especially if the words include Å, Ä and/or Ö.)

[A/n:I would probably be able to pronounce Swedish words, with alittle help, also I'm not sure what you mean by poly, like if their all in a relationship or just all them together without the relationship part so I just went without. Thank you for requesting]

Summary: They help you out with your new home, but all the Swedish words have them struggling

Type:Scenario: 141 + Los Vaqueros + König + Swedish!M!Reader, a tad bit of Soap X Ghost and Gaz X M!Reader

Version:Mw2

~

Usually they wouldn't do this, especially all together. 141, Los Vaqueros, and an additional König where all there, in ikea, that was in Sweden. It was a surprise, to all of them. Sure they hang out sometimes, and do stuff together, but help furnish someone's house? That's on a whole nother level, but you're like family to them so of course they'd help. Price thought it'd be a disaster, it was. Soap was flirting with ghost abit, but that was normal, the others don't know how Ghost has so much patience with him. Price was looking at things to decorate his office with. Alejandro and Rodolfo were talking about random things. You, Gaz, and König where in your own little world, looking at everything possible before being dragged away by Price. Price knows what it's like to move into a new place and since this is your first apartment he doesn't want you to get unnecessary things yet, maybe next time.

"Hey y/n, need this lampa"

Gaz said, he was close but over pronounced the A. The lamp was a small toaster lamp with piece of bread popping out. It was adorable, small but adorable.

"Gaz, it's lampa, not so much A there, but YES GIVE ME THAT LAMPA"

You tried to grab the lamp from Gaz but price grabbed it first.

"No, that's the next trip y/n"

Looking at Price with sad eyes you watched him put it back.

"But-"

Price stopped you

"If you keep trying to buy every unnecessary item your gonna end up not having the things you need, I know this from experience, y/n"

You gave him a pouty look before speaking, keeping the pout

"What of I can't see? Mm? What do I do then?"

Price signed and pulled you and Gaz along, könig had been too focused on something else to have noticed what happened, looking over he jumped abit realizing you two were being dragged away by Price. Alejandro laughed at you two, Rodolfo slapped him upside the head to shut him up.

"What? It's funny"

Rodolfo just shook his head like a disappointed mother. While looking around farther more conversations where started, Ghost got mad since he couldn't pronounce the words well, same with Gaz. But Soap? Oh he rocked those words, the barely messed them up, and if he did it was a small mistake. When you guys eventually left you had most of the things you actually needed, chairs, a bed, and bed frame, a table, etc. And Price let you buy a TV and stand for it since you where able to. Unknowing to you, you'd be thanking Price later, since he didn't let you buy unnecessary stuff you had enough money to stock your pantry, something you forgot to do, you had planned to spend most of the money you had on you for stuff for your apartment, since you thought you stocked to fridge and pantry. Laughing all the way back to your apartment, with Alejandro driving, you guys all had a blast and tons of fun. Your glad you took them with you.

~

[A/n:Fun fact, I've never been to ikea, crazy right? I hope you enjoyed]

[schwazombie]

wanna preface any sort of talk about anything even tangentially related to healthcare with the disclaimer that of course doing research and talking to professionals is important, but also like. a lot. a LOT. of the "T is so dangerous!!!! it will destroy you from the inside out and you will never be the same!!!!! it will ravage you like the plague and you'll lose your hair and teeth and become a monster!!!!!!!" is like. based on nothing. it's straight up TERF propaganda. There are always changes that will occur in your body when you do hormone therapy, but far and away they're the intended changes. There are lots of things that constitute hormone therapy, too, like you said birth control is one, people who are dealing with thyroid issues go through hormone therapy, there are LOTS of different iterations, it just so happens that the ones that trans your gender are the ones everyone's so fuckin mad about.

like I said, do your research of course, but you're not bad for wanting to go on T, and the gross majority of the scary stuff that gets put out about it is TERFs trying to scare you into staying inside the box they built for everyone.

Hey. Hey. Hey? I appreciate you.

For SURE for sure. Even knowing it's TERF propaganda I still catch myself sometimes fearmongering to myself repeating that shit oh no my body will change and will never be the same Ö but that's... that's true anyway no matter what I do. And I know some things I will have to possibly deal with (e.g., hair loss is a thing on both sides of my family so it wouldn't surprise me in the least), but it's not this huge scary thing that a lot of people (incl. doctors sometimes) make it out to be. Especially because yeah. Fn. Birth control??? And I have friends who have thyroid issues? And there's so much but you are so right people get big mad about the potions of trans your gender (and like... apparently here you have to have a whole fn test done to see which chromosomes you have before you can do hormone therapy but that wasn't needed for getting on the pill like yo????). And they can't even say it's because oh it's an elective thing uwu because so was fucking birth control for me it wasn't like I was taking it to deal with other health issues. It's just. Gah.

But re: research -- I do have a friend (whom I love so much because they are awesom af) who throws me whatever he can think of about their experiences, and I'm lucky enough that my city has a... Transberatungsstelle. I have no clue how to translate that. Kind of like a resource center? All the dictionary entries for Beratungsstelle are wrong (: At any rate they do free anon councilling about trans* issues so I went and talked to them and got a huge stack of information. We've also got a local Queeres Zentrum that has a trans group that meets twice a month which I knew about; what I didn't know about (that I found out about at the TraBS) was that there's also a queer choir in my city and the fn. The fn choir director is a trans man. One of my big fears was that nonsense I keep seeing about oH NO iT'll rUin yOUr vOiCE because I love singing so just knowing that a trans man leads a whole damn choir was like... oh. Oh. Information is my armour and my sword sort of situation

Anyway you are so sweet for sending this and as I said, I appreciate you <3 you are officially added to the list of people who can stay on my sleeper sofa

[random-rabid-creature]

More incorrect qoutes!

-----

*X person talking about kirby, bandee and elfilin*

X: and they where roommates!

DDD: omg they where roommates Ö

-----

Kirby: my bff once said that my eyes where weezer blue!

Kirby: he aslo says that he thinks that i might be autistic

-----

DMK: i would wipe out all popstar for you

SDDD: excuse me-

-----

DDD: it doesn't happen to you that when u r trying to read smt the words and letters just start swiming around the paper or change positions making it really annoying to read?

DDD: i just searched it up and it turns out that i have a learning disability

-----

Escargoon then

Goonie: oh demetri? No no he's not my son! I just take care of him most of the time (since his father really doesn't seem to be interested to actually take care of him)

Escargoon now

Goonie: oh Dedede? Yea thats 100% my son, took care of him his whole life, love that guy, isn't he amazing?, my wonderful son hell yeah

-----

Kirby: hi dad! ⬅grew very emotionally atachtted to MK

MK: dad...?⬅ very happy

-----

SDDD: i'm not just a pretty face to look at!

SDDD: i'm slightly blind, i have anger issues, i'm the pinnacle of mental illness-

-----

Bandee: hey don't yell at his majesty! He's just a little slow

DDD: *to himself* -stm was said, what was it... DON'T YELL AT HIS MAJESTY wait no thats ok, what was it... slow... THEY CALLED YOU SLOW D:< -

-----

Kirby: i know what metal is!

Kirby: i have eat it once-

-----

Waddle dee: wa wa ya wan way wanya ya

DDD: so true bestie

[lovingdilfs]

First post… kinda nervous ö

I have an beautiful idea, making smut stories out Elvis songs!

So here is the first one.

The story is taking place in 1960

19 years and still the biggest virgin on the planet. Maria, your friend got invited to a party where Elvis Presley. When you finally decide to go with her everything changes in one night

(Based on the song let yourself go)

TW: smut, angst and alcohol

Word count 1.8k

The grammar is not it honey, English isn’t my first language so bare with me 🫶🏼

Let yourself go. Pt 1

"Well there is no discussion, you're coming to the party! Girl Elvis motherfucking Presley will be there, how could you ever think about not going."  Maria said on the phone

"Omg Elvis!" You said with excitement in voice.

"Yeah girl, that's what I said Elvis is coming to the par-" you interrupted Maria

"Maria, I don't care if Elvis will be there. I hate parties, is always some guys just trying to find pussy.

I'm not going"

"Yeah that's true... but what if Elvis is there to find some pussy and accidentally slips into yours" Maria laughed out well knowing you were the cleanest girl when it came to sex "And besides that point, then we will celebrate your 20th birthday a little earlier"

But the thought made you a bit warm inside.

Imagine if I lost my virginity to Elvis Presley. I wouldn't say I was a fan, but goddamn he was a beautiful man.

"Maria! Stop, I'm not going end of discussion"

"You're coming, end of discussion... I'll be at your house at 17'o'clock, then I'll fix you up and get you ready for the party.

Do you got a dress?" Maria were almost out of breath talking so fast.

"Yeah, no I don't" you said while looking at your closet.

"No worries I'll bring ya some" Maria hanged up.

"Mari" you were interrupted by the beeping sound.

You laid the phone back down and rolled on your back letting a breath leave your lips.

A knock hit the front door

"Shit" you said while your mouth was filled with food, you swallowed quickly and opened the door.

"Hello miss girl, are you ready- what! Haven't you showered yet" Maria lifted her arms, her hands were filled with hangers

"No... I-I fell asleep"

"Girl go upstairs and take a shower and shave every inch of your body" she said while closing the front door. You looked confused at her

"What are you looking at, hurry!" She smacked your ass.

You turned the warm water on, getting in. The warmth were spreading around your body. You wiped the water away from your eyes, looking down at the razor

doing all this work for nothing

You shaved everywhere knowing damn well nothing was going to happened tonight

But what if... 19 years old and still being the biggest virgin walking on the planet

You squeezed the rest of the water out of your hair, grabbed a towel. Dried your body off, putting on some your expensive moisturizer you only saved for special occasions. You opened the door to your bedroom, a steam cloud followed along with you.

"Clean?" Maria said while searching in your vanity

"Yes clean"

"Great, now sit down and let me do all the hard work" she followed your over to the free chair.

You looked confused around,

"Maria have you been looking in my closet?"

"Certainly, I needed to find some sexy panties, honey you need to throw out your grandma panties" she laughed, You rolled eyes at her.

2 hours went by quickly and you finally were done in Maria's beauty salon.

"And just like that! Your done" she swirled your chair around to face your mirror

"Oh gosh Maria, where did you learn all this stuff" you couldn't even recognize yourself, you looked so beautiful.

Your hair waved perfectly, your eyes were popping out underneath the makeup.

And the dress curves all the right places.

"You know, just here and there... If Elvis don't fuck the shit out of you tonight I will do it" she laughed "Now, get up and make a spin for me"

You did as she said

"Wow, I'm such a good friend" she clamped her hands together as she was a proud mother.

"You ready honey to get ya cherry popped" she said as she gathered her things.

__________________________________________

Maria and you pulled up the house, It was beautiful nothing like your own little house.

"Come on girl, let's get drunk and make dumb decisions" Maria pulled your arm.

A bunch of guys were standing out in the porch smoking and drinking.

"Sorry boys, but make room for the girls" Maria said while trying to push them away

How does she do it, the confidence.

You felt the guys eyes all over your body and you even heard one of them say "Goddamn, a ass she got" It left a red flush to your cheeks

Maria pushed the front door open, and the sight left you speechless. It was so beautiful, but so many people

No way, Elvis is going to lay a eye on me. There is so many beautiful girls here.

You grabbed Maria's arm tightly and followed her along out to the kitchen.

"Here take this and down it" she handed you a drink and you didn't even hesitate. The alcohol were burning all the way down.

"And this one to"

You looked at her like she had lost her mind

"Trust me, you will need it"

You poured the drink down your throat, coughed a bit of the burning sensation.

"And the last one for now, happy birthday girl" she handed you a glass and cheered with you

Oh gosh, whiskey

"Now let's dance!" She took your hand, and pushed against the crowd.

"Maria, have you seen him" you whispered into her ear trying to mute out the loud music

"Who..." she said

"You know Elvis" you eyes were searching for him.

"Uh la la, somebody is getting ready for tonight" she smirked and sent a wink. You hit her arm playful "Stop Maria, I just want to know if he even is here"

"Don't worry baby, I have a plan. Just follow along when you are bit more drunk"

1 hour passed by quickly, you felt more intoxicated by the second. Many people had gathered outside to smoke and talk.

"Last drink, and then we'll hunt for some boys" Maria said

"I'll be back in a second, I just gotta touch up, wait for me here okay" You downed the drink like it was water and headed for the bathroom.

The house were like a maze

How can a house have so many doors...

You wriggle the last door handle.

"One second" a thick southern voice came from the locked toilet.

"Oh I'm sorry sir-" the door opened and you were speechless and embarrassed.

Oh god why!

You starred at the beautiful man, coming out from the toilet.

His eyes were a dark blue that burned into your eyes. His hair were messy but still intact. His skin were light tanned

It's true, it really is true Elvis is so much handsome in real life

"Are ya going to use it?" He frowned his brows.

You just starred in silence before snapping back to reality "Oh yes, certainly. Thank you" you said while squeezing under his arm and past the door.

You closed the door slowly, still having your eyes all over Elvis. His hand slipped in between the door and doorframe

"Honey, what's ya name?" Elvis said while looking you up and down.

"Uhm... Y/N, why do wanna know my name" you said in flirtatious way

Nooo, so embarrassing. Never drinking again.

"Y/N, pretty name you got there honey. Well nice to meet ya" he reached out for your hand

"Well nice too meet you too mr. Presley " you handed your hand to him, his soft lips glanced your skin.

"I hope I see ya again Y/N, thanks for the little toilet meeting" he winked at you and laughed in boy-ish way. He let go of your hand

"Certainly, mr. Presley"

You closed the door, and let out a breath

OMFG! DID I JUST TALK TO ELVIS PRESLEY! HE KISSED MY HAND! AHHHH

You calmed down, and fixed your hair and makeup before making your way out to Maria again. "Maria!" You yelled, She hushed you as she were flirting with some guy.

You poured another light drink, and as you were turning around to kitchen counter, you bumped into a chest spilling all over the guy.

"Ah, uh I'm so so sorry-" you lifted your eyes to glanced the guy

Really god again! Could it be any other guy than Elvis.

"Well...well isn't that ma little toilet girl"

"I'm sorry... let me find some paper"

"No it's fine honey, I was just about to head home." He said while holding your hand

"Home...? But the party" you said while frowning your brows

"Party isn't really thing"

The words hit you hard, because party wasn't really your thing either

"I just need to tell Jerry I'm going home" his eyes headed towards Maria

Maria with one of Elvis friends! God give me some goddamn confidence come on! "He looks a little bit busy" you said glancing over at Jerry

"Goddamnit always!" He said, looking a bit annoyed

"I can tell him, if it's. You see the girl, that my best friend" you looked up at him. How perfect can you be!

"Will you honey, that would make me the happiest man"  he clenched his hand around your shoulder "On one behalf " you said

"Anything for you toilet girl"

"First of all you stop calling me toilet girl, second of all you take a birthday shot with me" you said while fidgeting with his buttons

"That's exactly two..." he smirked.

You poured 2 shots up and lined them up. "Here you go" you handed him the shot

"Thank you ma'am"

The two glass clanged together

"For you" he said and downed the shot and you poured the shot down while holding eye contact with Elvis.

"How old" Elvis said while wiping his mouth

"20 years old" you said

"Wow 20 years old, that the second round birthday, congratulations"

"Thanks" you felt a bit red in the head

I hope it don't show

"We got a deal?"

"Huh" you looked confused at him "You know with Jerry"

"Oh yeah right, you can count on me"

"Thanks honey" he left a small peck on your cheek before going out the door.

Your eyes followed him when he left out of the door. Ugh... one chance I get and I messed it up You looked over at Maria, her face were smashed together with Jerry.

You poured a small amount of whiskey into your glass and headed for the couch. All the people that had been smashed together at the start were down to 13.

You sat in misery on the couch, pouring the whisky slowly down your throat. Your eyes were getting heavier and heavier until they shut fully.

[followtheravens]

I'm writing a fic and can I just share some of the bits from my first draft. I'm writing it on my phone's notes and I write so quickly that half of it is gibberish but it's still mostly readable to me. I guess this post goes to all the perfectionists out there who are too afraid to write (I used to be one). Look, it's okay to write absolute garbage. You can always fix it later! Look at these examples and feel better about your own first draft:

(This is also a little puzzle to see if you can understand what these sentences mean)

"Im going tp go tp town and get thr needed sipplies from the healer therecsnd i wiöl cole straght back yo you." (So many mistakes but it's pretty readable right?)

"Aint nobody goinf to do that fir a syranger."

"The fucker even peitteli him before he said something and lefy. Awfuö lot of show of emphaty from a guy who was going to leave him to hid deatvhm. Wharwver, if hecwaa going tp die, betrer to die as comfortable as possible." (this is my fave because it's so bad in every way. Also if I don't remember a word in english I just replace it with the word from my language and keep on writing as I did here with "peitteli." It means: to cover someone with a blanket.

"the bitter swest on the mages violstibg hik." (I... Iam not sure what this means :Dd I know the beginning means: "bitter sweat on the mages" and then I don't know what the rest is. Maybe violent skin?? Sometimes this happens but I'm not that worried about this. If I can't make out the meaning of some gibberish I wrote, it probably wasn't that important.)

"Thqnk you, aiden aais abd lambert wondered who he was tgankin then ge sleot agsin." (I feel like I have accidentally invented a new language)

"Tp öambert öeaping off the battlements." (can you tell that the "ö" is next to "l" on my phone)

"Lambery was about to tell whoever the hell the guy was to fuck off bit then he toon a second gönave. The "guy" was anotjer wotcjer. (wotcjer :D)

"A litrle beqr trqo wound too much for you?" (you get a gold star if you can guess what this means)

Bonus:  Look at all the ways I've written the protagonists name so far (his real name is Lambert): lambery, lsmbert, kambwry, lmaberts, Lambett, öambert, lamjert, lamnert, Lamvert and Lmbert. (dearest blorbo has many names as they say in my country)

I think that's enough. I hope these made you feel better about your writing. If your inner critic keeps you from writing and says you things like "What's the point of writing it if it's not perfect" tell it to shut the fuck up and remember that you have every right to write garbage. Go write your story, I believe in you!

[madame-fear]

let me tell you what is happening because IM SCAREDDDD (this reminds me of the ''okay fine im doing it im doing it SHUTT UPPP IM SCAREDDDD sound from tiktok IDMASSDHDA)

okay so- i'm not a particular believer in all things regarding spirituality but i am very kin in tarot and manifesting and shit, like pretty basic things right. so i am watching this girl who does readings all the time and is the only one who actually manages to say things that happen later on in my life / are pretty accurate

and i was watching her video like normal, not thinking much of it till she mentions my big three on the zodiac and i was like Ö for a moment because- she never pulls pisces on the first try yk? like it's always an earth sign or something before she gets to any water sign

well, she said that this might be my year for a relationship, I'M FUCKING SCAREDDDD SDADKADAJA (i want a bf so bad you dont even know but i am so scared of getting played like a damn fiddle that my heart can't handle it)

KAY MY LOVE I JUST READ THIS AND I ALREADY GUSHESD SO BADLY FOR YOU !! IAJSJDJDKDKKFJDJKS

I also believe in tarot cards, manifesting, and all things related to it — and if you say this one girl on TT always hits the jackpot on all the readings and actually happens in your life,, then I DOUBLE BELIEVE IN THIS. Trust me it’s hard to find a proper tarot thrower that is actually accurate!!

I’m literally SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUU ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WANT A BF!! I know how you feel though because while the idea of having a relationship makes you feel over the moon, they can be pretty much scary at the same time because we don’t want our hearts broken, do we? 🫠 But, since you’re a Pisces just like me, they often say we have a good intuition, so I know (and deeply hope because you deserve all the love & care in the world! 🥰) you and your bf will be the absolute best pairing ever! 🫶

idk how you feel about this idea that us Pisces are pretty intuitive,, but my intuition works 99% time! So if you ever meet someone that you sense he could be your partner,, just tell me about them, I volunteer on giving my opinion if you’d like 🤭 Orrr, if you have a bf that plays with your heart, I will straight up be like this ❤

either way — baby TRUST ME IT WILL ALL GO WELL. DON’T BE AFRAID OF LOVING AND BEING LOVE. MANIFESTING THAT YOU GET ALL THE BIGGEST AND MOST PURE TYPE OF LOVE YOU DESERVE. 🕯🕯🕯🥰🥰

[quackiseok]

— strawberry kisses

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanon

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : their reaction to you giving them a kiss on the cheek for the first time!

a/n : hi hi! this is my first fic, i hope you like it 🥺 and i'm so sorry if there's any mistake, i'll try fixing them asap!

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

this man right here is VERY careful with you

always asking for consent before any physical contact with you (consent is always the key!)

he was so happy when you said that you were fine with cuddles and hugs with him! be ready for tight back hugs from him 'cause he loves putting his head on the crook of your neck >:)

but kisses... you were a bit shy about it since you were new to this type of relationship and you wanted to learn a bit first,

you told him about wanting to take things slowly and get used to it first, and of course he understands! dream will 100% respect your boundaries

he will wait patiently until you're comfortable enough with him because he loves you so much and he wants you to see him as a safe, comfort place :)

then one day when the two of you were baking cookies for valentines day, dream jokingly asked you to kiss him on the cheek as a thank you for helping you with the cookies

i mean, it's almost valentines anyways. a small, innocent kiss wouldn't hurt right? ö

you just giggled and gently leaned your face closer to his cheek, your fingers softly bringing his chin closer to you

you gently placed a kiss on his cheek, then quickly turning away from him with a wide smile

congratulations, you have successfully broke dream

man would be frozen on the place for a full minute, trying to process what just happened and is this real or not (because if it's not real he'd cry on the floor)

expect him to cling on you and not letting you go for the next few hours, calling you with sweet names like baby, hun, etc. for no reason and just be all lovey dovey with you ♡

he would secretly mark the date on his phone's calendar just for this special day where you kissed him for the first time HHAHSJDKSKD

if you were comfortable, he would offer you a kiss on your cheek to return the favor 🥺

and if you said yes, AAAAAAAA he would be so fucking happy, his serotonin level would just go through the roof like 📈📈

and ofc, he would happily give you a sweet kiss on your cheek! ( ˙ᵕ˙ )♡

; GEORGE

george is definitely very shy with you at first

he's VERY careful around you and treat you with so much care 🥺

( but once the two of you have gotten pretty used to each other, you guys bully each other 24/7 💀💀 (jokingly ofc!) )

at first, you thought george didn't like physical affections like kisses, hugs, etc.

boy you were wrong

this cat boy secretly LOVES physical affections from you, but he just hides it from you! and of couse, you love giving them to him too :)

but you were a little bit shy about kisses, and same goes to him. two shy cuties !!

if he was being honest : he wants to squish your cheeks and shower you with kisses, but he respects your boundaries and will wait until you're ready to take a step further! (( and he's really shy, he would also need time to get the courage to do it :D ))

then one day george has just finished recording for minecraft manhunt and boy, that block game can actually make you tired

the moment he's done with the recording, he immediately rushed to the bed and plop himself next to you

you would ask him things like how did the recording went, etc. and he'll answer you while letting you play with his soft hair 🥺

george was feeling a little playful, so he joked and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to recharge his energy

you looked at him with your cheeks slightly reddened. george has been working hard lately anyways, he deserves a gift, right?

you slowly bought your face closer to his cheek and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before looking away then melt into a puddle

georgenotfound who? i only know georgenotworking

his eyes would be widened, face red, and he would just sit there with his palm on the cheek where you planted the kiss on

it's been 3 minutes and his face is still red, huge grin on his face while hugging you tightly

he won't even try to hide the fact that he loves being affectionate with you anymore

it's the first time george has ever been clingy with you and you're living for it tbh 🥺

he'd ask you if you want a kiss too, in such a shy manner like "i can... give you... a kiss too... if you want... 👉👈"

if you say yes ? MMMMMMMMMM the two of you melt into a puddle together <33

he'll give you a quick but sweet kiss on your cheek with his face redder than before (,,．．„ )

; SAPNAP

man seems like he would fight you no matter what size you are

but in reality? sapnap's the sweetest and the clingiest (in a positive way, ofc!) man you've ever been with and you're so into this

he LOVES being affectionate and clingy with you, in fact he does it all the time. it's just how he is with you :)

he also LOVES giving you affection. he doesn't care about who's giving and who's receiving tbh, he just loves being around you in general 👉👈

you love his affection and giving him affection too, of course!! but you were a bit shy since this was your first romantic relationship with someone and kissing was a new thing to you

sapnap would tease you for being so shy around him, endlessly flirting with you just to see you all flustered, because in his eyes? you're so fucking adorable and that's a fact. ♡

despite him being all playful and flirty with you, he respects your boundaries and will 100% wait until you're ready!

of course he wants kiss you right on the spot but he can wait patiently, just for you <3

then one day, he was playfully flirting with you as usual

and he jokingly said "hey y/n, i think i deserve a kiss on the cheek for being cute!" well, you couldn't disagree with what he just said 👀

so you put on a large grin and placed a kiss on his cheek, immediately turning red afterwards

sapnap's the new pogchamp emote now

he would be so surprised and just turn into a ball of absolute joy

he'd immediately scoop you closer to him, hugging you tightly while giggling and just— shower you with lots of love 🥺

and trust me, he won't let go of you unless it's emergency or if you were uncomfortable

but if you were fine with it? this man will hold you like his life depends on it

he would also give you kisses on your cheek / the top of your head if you were comfortable enough :)

and if you did allowed him to kiss you? he'll immediately shower you with kisses and calling you his in between the kisses, like "you're mine, mine, mine" 👉👈

; QUACKITY

alex, he's such a flirty mf 😳

endlessly teasing you and flirting with you just to see you being flustered, just like sapnap

he'd call you with sweet spanish nicknames like mi amor, hermosa, etc. and you find them cute, honestly 🥺

he's really clingy with you (in a good way!) and always hugs you whenever he sees you. it's almost like an instinct to him when he sees you :) but you don't mind since you're living for his warm hugs and cuddles ♡

he LOVES the way you melt under his hugs, and honestly? he wants to cover your whole face with kisses but he knew you were new into dating and want to take things slowly, so he respects your boundaries! :))

one day, he was in a discord call with his friends and they were endlessly teasing him; which leads him to fake crying as a joke and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to make him stop crying

man, alex is so fucking adorable and you thought that he deserves a reward for being such a cutie

so you giggled and moved closer to him, slightly bending down to get to his level and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning away with a large grin on your face.

you know that one time karl jokingly leaned in to kiss alex? yeah, he has the exact same expression now

this man would stare blankly at you, his cheeks slightly red but then a few seconds later he's screaming in absolute joy

his friends would be so confused, asking him if he was alright but instead of answering them, he mutes the call and immediately clings his arms around your neck

"mi amor, you should do that more often if you're okay with it ;)"

100% endlessly flirting with you while hugging you tightly, melting you into a puddle ( bonus point if you knew spanish, cause he'd say cheesy pick up lines in spanish for you ;) )

and just like sapnap, he'd shower you with sweet kisses on your face if you were fine with it!

and if you were okay with him kissing you? man... you know that one vine where a kid is crying because of how cute her puppy is? yeah that's alex quackity @ your existence

he'd just be so happy and shower you with kisses, praising you, telling you how adorable you are, and telling you that you're his and he loves you so fucking much 🥺

; KARLJACOBS

karl jacobs is the definition of wholesome itself

he's literally the sweetest human being you've ever met, you can almost taste cotton candies when you're with him

he's really affectionate and loving towards you, always praising you whenever he's hugging you and holding you close to him! and of course, we can't forget the sweet nicknames he have for you. he just loves giving you so much affection, and you're in for it! 🥺

don't forget his playful side too! he would always joke around with you and maybe be flirty when he's feeling extra playful :) he can go from sending you wholesome memes to weird cursed images, no in between

but you were a little bit shy since you were new in this type of relationship. you told karl that you wanted to learn more first before jumping into more romantic gestures, including kisses.

of course this boy would go "okay! :)" and shower you with gestures you're comfortable with instead (hugs, cuddles, etc.) he wants you to feel comfortable around him, so he respects your boundaries! ♡

then one day when the two of you were cuddling on the couch while watching adventure time, karl jokingly asked what if you gave him a kiss on the cheek like marceline did to bubblegum

and you thought karl has been so sweet with you this whole time. you gotta return the favor to him, right?

so you just displayed a shy smile, leaning closer to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before you slowly melt in his arms

his eyes widened and he just wants to scream the way puppycat did

he'd immediately bring you closer to his body and mutter out uncountable i love you's, calling you perfect, sweet, etc. just praising you and being all giggly with you. of course he would be so giggly, you just gave him a kiss!!! 🥺👉👈

he would LOVE to return the favor to you, if you're fine with it!

and if you said yes? places such a sweet kiss on your face and just admire you with his starry eyes 🥺

JNNGGHHH SO MUCH SEROTONIN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS JUST 50% WHOLESOME AND 50% WHOLESOME BUT IN RED

[dailytatsu]

Heya! Can I request an Aether/Lumine & reader?

So reader is basically an immortal half-elf who've lived for centuries and a well refined fighter. Well at the beginning even tho they volunteered to tag along on traveler's journey to find their sibling, reader is rather obnoxious and a lazy-dork who only help when actually needed. But as the journey continues, they began to act like traveler's bodyguard after witnessing (archon quest spoiler!) traveler almost getting killed by the Shogun? And maybe random shenanigans happen between them (ft.Paimon). I don't mind if you do either Aether or Lumine if you feel pressured 🙏

Hi! This kind are my favorites! Tysm for requesting! (๑>◡<๑)

I did this with Aether since he is my favorite is who I chose, and I feel more comfortable writing with guys than with girls.

I know they have some different personalities but I can help but see Lumine as the all mighty abyss princess.

Hope you enjoy!

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Aether & Half-elf! Reader

GN! Reader

Inazuma Archon Quest Spoilers!

Request are open; sorry for any mistakes!

Genshin Impact Masterlist

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Aether always thought that immortality brought with it wisdom, beings who live for much longer than an ordinary human tend to gain an understanding of life and changes in the world after years of appreciating the passing of the ages.

But when he met you he couldn't help but feel that all his beliefs were based on fiction and old rumors from other worlds. You were anything but wise, not even his first choice to be the voice of reason.

Even Paimon takes her role as his guide seriously.

But what was so wrong about you that get him on his nerves all the time? And most important, why does is he still dealing with you?

To be fair, maybe he was waiting a little too much from you. After all, he always forget that you still have half of a human’s nature.

“Mmh? What are you doing?” You asked Aether the first time he removed your hair from your ears to see if they were pointy. They were, and Paimon yelled kind of a objection when she realize she had to pay for losing their bet.

Not a human, not a elf, but a hybrid between them.

The first encounter was really something he would never forget. Rumors about treasures and requests from the guild made them follow some clues to find a cave that was marked as lost, impossible to enter and explore.

But “impossible” is a word that doesn’t exist their vocabulary. Yet is common that regretting comes along when you’re that bold and risky.

At the very end of that strange cave there wasn’t a treasure waiting, not even a new clue to keep going with the mystery. Instead, was a humanoid silhouette, they seemed to be meditating, not showing a single interest in their voices neither getting nervous because of Aether and Paimon taking some steps forward to have a better look.

But they were breathing, and both could see the pupils moving slightly under their eyelids. Eyebrows twitching now and then, like they were having a nightmare, one of which they couldn’t wake up.

Paimon encouraged him to get even closer to shake that person's shoulder, while she was hiding behind some rocks, obviously.

Aether summoned his sword and then he approached slowly until touching them with his fingertips, waiting for some kind of jumpscare.

The stranger raised their arm, carefully but also in a robotic way. Their fingers were tense, as much that it was painful just looking at them. Like a quiet call, like a order that couldn’t be heard, from the pile of rocks where Paimon was hiding something emerge, breaking through the stone and letting a rusty polearm to be seen.

Their fingers closed around the weapon, bringing them back to reality.

“Master and weapon, reunited again, rise so the world can meet their end!”

Or at least that's what he would have preferred to find. A servant guarding a lost relic, a soulless body moving by a curse, perhaps even a fate that death could not prevent.

But instead it was something really underwhelming, something that broke the mystical and strange atmosphere. That person opened their eyes, annoyed by the light of the torches and disoriented by the situation.

With their body in pain and numb at the same time, how long have they slept in that position?

The first thing they did after waking up was sneezing.

‘So much dust…’

Never accepting missions for exploring legendary caves ever again. Nope. Negative. He refuse to.

What if they find another (Y/N)? Thanks, but no. One is more than enough.

“So what you mean is that your parents' families exiled you and locked you up in the cave for being an ‘abomination’ to both species?” Paimon confirmed once the three of you were back in the surface again. Her hands moving side to side to explain -in a very expressive way- everything you told them.

“It seems that we found the remains of an ancient race that used to exist in Teyvat.” Aether said, still surprised by the way you roamed to feel the wood of the trees and the grass under your bare feet. Kind of heartbreaking.

“Like the boar we found with Xiangling!”

He wasn’t sure if it was okay to compare both encounters but he could see her point.

“… ‘Wait for us’, they told me, ‘think about your existence and find the answer to why your conception is not the atrocity that everyone says you are. May their words not reach you, because we have long ears to hear the words of the gods and not the ones of those who defile earth’… ” You pronounced after decades of not needing to use the language you were taught, with one hand on your chin and eyes closed to concentrate. All you had left was the few memories you preserved inside your mind and heart.

“With ‘they’ you mean your parents?”

You nodded.

“And what happened next?… ” Asked back the tiny companion of the blond guy that rescued you.

“I got bored and I fell asleep.” You admitted, carefree about it, shrugging your shoulders and sighing.

A total waste of your youth.

“Eh!? Then you didn’t thought about those things? That sounded important!” Paimon seemed disappointed for your answer, while Aether held his forehead, without having a clue of how he was supposed to react.

That was the day you joined their party! New team member, (Y/N) strikes in!

Or something like that,,

“H-Hey! We could use a hand over here!… woah!” The little white girl scold you but from your high sit on the top of a big rock only a exaggerated yawning can be heard. Paimon crossed her arms to almost immediately duck down to dodge a fire bullet from the Fatui. Aether didn’t say anything, he was concentrated fighting.

“Oh, yeah… You’re doing great. Go, Aether, go…”

“Was that supposed to be a cheering?!”

“Hey, calm down” You said “He doesn’t need my help. Just take a look, he’s an adventurer. If I meddle it will be really boring for him.”

“Hmp! Now Paimon believes that you were lying when you said that you were a well refined fighter!” She was floating around you, ignoring the battle of his blond friend. Like a pesky bee, the only thing you did was avoiding her furious gaze. “Don’t ignore Paimon! How can you not hear with those ears!? That’s it! Paimon will give you a ugly nickname!”

“What about ‘extinct deaf elf-der’?”

“Yeah, that’s a good one!” She agreed immediately, then she shook her head, pointing at you like a guilty criminal. “Wait, Paimon doesn’t need your suggestions!”

When the last Fatui was defeated Aether turned back to face both of you, sighing because of the new arguing between you two. His sword disappeared and some steps were took to get closer.

Your eyes met each other, a slight smile in your face after looking him safe and sound. So confident but so unaware of the remain danger hiding. Your expression became a surprised one, then your gaze sharped like a killer sight.

You left Paimon on top of the rock when you jumped down, summoning your own weapon you ran straight to where Aether was. The traveler panicked just a fraction of second before loosing sight of you.

Next thing they know was that a you were behind him, facing at the nothing with a defensive pose, just a second of silence before a impact could be heard. Some dirt and dust was lift as the pair of Fatui Pyro Agents became visible again. They stayed there, defeated in one hit.

“Like I said. It would be pretty boring if I meddle...” Aether and Paimon were shocked, none of them felt their presence, not even the heat of the pyro delusion. Your weapon disappeared in the air, and your hands rested on your waist. “Dear Seven, that was intense.” Looking at your friends you sighed, with the laziness on your body language. “It was my turn to cook dinner, right? What a pain having to eat again… ”

Acting that relaxed after that really made them went Ô_Ô and Ö

A silent speech, where devotion and gratitude are the best topics of conversation. The message that is heard even if there’s no words in between. Just a exchange of gazes. Little signs of affection that are shown when it’s necessary.

Your family was gone. No clues about their whereabouts could’ve found in that cave of where you came. Not even the skeletons of a couple holding their hands and petrified in a sobbing position. Not even ashes.

When you have been thinking about the most unimportant things in the universe for so long you can deal with the lost faster than anyone else. Getting the idea of no remain evidence of your parents and feeling that it wasn’t that heartbreaking.

Maybe because you gained a new family almost immediately.

Still you could empathize with Aether, he still had his precious memories with his sister, still remember her face and her voice. And most important was that he knew that she was still roaming Teyvat, waiting for him.

Even if they leave behind Paimon and you at the end of the trip.

Or even if they just leave you behind.

‘I’m okay with that.’

You thought, stroking Paimon’s hair when her head found a comfortable place to rest in your lap. You thought, moving your shoulder so Aether wouldn’t have neck pain. Both sleeping peacefully and you staying awake night by night.

You’ve slept enough, for so long besides.

Somehow the flames of the campfire are warmer now that you have someone to look how the fire dance in the night.

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“I see, so you were serious when you told me that your companion was a mystical extinct creature, weren’t you?” Albedo’s hand went up to hold his chin, analyzing you from distance.

“They are half of it, actually.” Aether answered back, notice how Sucrose was asking you permission to check your features. The sparkle in her eyes made you accept her petition after feeling with the back against the wall.

“Your ears are like mine! Look, look!” Klee pulled your shirt, then she pointed at the side of her head.

“… Still the shape of both are quite different, the length too.”

Years of isolation really are hitting hard right now. You felt overwhelmed and somehow shy when Sucrose hold your face to have a better look.

You follow the traveler to everywhere, no matter the place, you were there. Like a shadow, sometimes just a spectator, other times like an actual active team member.

“Who would’ve tell that our Honorary Knight also has his own knight watching his back.” Kaeya’s voice has that joke but charming tone, as always.

Day after day, it’s the same, everyone talking you through Aether. Like some kind of translator.

“More like a human shield.” Your hand landed on top of Aether’s head, not agreeing with his explanation.

Bonk.

“I guess everything’s better than being Emergency Food.”

“Hey!”

“Haha! You three are quite a team, aren’t you?”

Of course you were. Mondstadt, Liyue, you name it. You could assure that every place in this two nations have at least one story about the team.

You knew that the most brave and magnificent outlander in Teyvat didn’t need a guardian, he can defend himself (somehow even if he’s still using that dull blade).

Bodyguarding also sounds like such a hassle…

You only provide a last resource help when was needed, sometimes also helping with some puzzles and mysteries.

The long eared people was known to be wise and smart people that searched for the full comprehension of the world. Also such a nerds and fans of knowledge. So, even if you considered yourself dumb, in your blood was the instinct of looking for the truth, and sometimes that impulse could be really annoying.

You were always near enough to reach him. Pulling his scarf from behind to move him away from danger. Countering after he gets hit.

Always in a place where you could reach him.

You just needed to extend your arm and you would catch Aether. It was always like this. Always with you jumping in the middle of the crossfire to shield them if it was necessary.

It’s always like this.

Until the day you three set a foot in Inazuma’s land. And a bad feeling of a imminent catastrophe made your shiver.

A new nation, a new problem to solve. But a war? Boldness and stupidity sometimes looks like the same thing, but no matter how many times you repeat this to Aether, he would still ran into problems.

And you would follow him, until your debt is paid, until his travel is done.

It used to be like this.

But then you failed him after being unable to move because of the fear that paralyzed your body. The day Aether faced Shogun Raiden in the ceremony. The day you heard the broken voice of a god inside the Shogun you also fell apart. It was painful, cruel, a void of anger and sadness.

Jumping into danger, without you behind.

You tried to ran between the goddess and your savior, you tried to get closer to at least be useful one last time as the shield you promised to be.

You tried.

But, for the first time, your hand didn’t reach him.

The void of despair and darkness that could be heard inside the Shogun devoured him.

The tears of panic and fear in Paimon’s eyes. The way the Shogun lifted her sword to end his life. The way you were paralyzed because of her presence, forced to be part of the crowd and presence his execution.

That day your facade of laziness faded away, the real feeling of being a knight burnt along your proud. It was so annoying, it was so unnecessary, but still you couldn’t ignore it.

“Are you… are you sure that you’re okay? We don’t have to find the Sangonomiya resistance today. If you need to rest then-” Your hands were shaking when you placed them in Aether’s shoulders, holding yourself for tearing up.

“We have to keep going. I’ll be fine.”

“Besides, if we stay near Inazuma this night they could find us! Paimon won’t be able to sleep like that!” Your mouth opened to counter their arguments, but not a single word dared to go against Aether’s plans.

They could see it in your face. The worry, the remains of shock and fear, the guilty.

“Don’t try to look strong then. If you get tired, tell us. I can carry you in my back.” Even if you were offering help your voice was serious, so cold but so hurt at the same time that nor Aether or Paimon knew what to said to bring the old you back.

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“… Aren’t you coming?” You could hear how the door was slid to let him saw you. The lighted spots on Aether’s clothes were purple, just as the lighting that almost end him. Your lips made a concerned and stressed grimace.

The young traveler took a seat next to you, outside the structure, sitting on the wooden steps and looking at the starry sky. The wind was cold but still the soldiers of the resistance were talking normally and the slight feeling of discommodity because of the excessive presence of other people was climbing up your back.

“(Y/N), there’s no need of guard us every night. You also need to sleep.”

“I'm not tired, I think I've gotten enough sleep, at least not to need it until the next century.”

Aether’s expressions went into a sarcastic one, asking if you were serious with just his gaze.

“That’s not how it works.” He said, trying to change the mood. “And if it does, then why are you always snoozing during the day in every chance you get?”

You had the answer to that, but you weren’t sure about telling him.

“Because everything supposed to be boring. Nothing really changed a lot and… looking at the familiar places was depressing.” So easy, so simple, but still enjoying the company, still enjoying the sound of theirs laughs and their own shenanigans. “… Lately, I’ve been thinking that I should not had left the cave. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that you two helped me to be back at the surface, and I really want to help you on your journey, but if you still run into the chaos by own decision I think I could not follow you any longer before being a burden in your adventures.”

Overprotection, an unbreakable shield, frequently avoiding fights, always being pulled back to not be part of the battle. Enemies of the braveness of the traveler.

Worry, panic, an overreaction due to fear of loosing everything again.

‘let me do it’, ‘I got it’, ‘wait here’, ‘don’t get close’.

These day could be described like that.

“So, before I do something worse as an excuse of defend you, please let me find a cave to await. You do what’s is needed and… call me back, or leave me there, anything you think it’s better… ”

You could be pronouncing the words from the very bottom of your heart, but still your face was the same seriousness as the accident almost happened.

And even with that you felt his gloved hand removing the hair that was covering your right ear, revealing how it slightly leaned down, showing sadness unwittingly.

“Hey, cut it out… I’m serious about this… ”

“It doesn’t matter if you think that it’s the best option, you’re still sad about leaving.”

“… That’s cheating.” Removing his hand away from your hair you tried to act indifferent.

“You know the reason why we invited you to came along?”

‘You felt sorry for me.’

“I can’t totally tell the exact reason, but it wasn’t for you to pay us some kind of debt because of saving you.” He crossed his arms, looking at the stars, wondering if his sisters was doing the same. “We don’t need a guardian, we need our friend back. And I know you care about Paimon and me, but still you must enjoy the journey. It’s not fair that you are always aware of every potential danger while we mess around lately.”

An eternal silence, your response is late to appear but somehow Aether can tell that you already have something on your mind.

“Then apologize.”

“… Why?”

“For believing that playing as the hero and jumping to face the Shogun was something you had to do.”

“… but-”

Neither Aether nor you slept that night, the blonde had to listen for hours to all the things that you ever wanted to complain about since you arrived in Inazuma.

You made your position on joining the army of the rebellion very clear, you had no intention of fighting to seek "justice" or "peace". Because after all, that fight did not correspond to you, but if he asked you to, you would protect some soldiers or help to guard the barracks, if he asked you to, you wouldn’t complain about it (at least not that much).

Both had enough of each other’s attitude, but it was okay. Because that was what all of you chose in first place.

[spiderling-space]

I and Brew @twisted-n-thirsty talked about this months ago and this post just made me resurface this. Enjoy the crack!

Setting: Malleus finally decides to pay more attention how his classmates interact and he asks help from Lilia. Lilia starts teaching Malleus slangs that are used among his classmates but he can't stop his mischievous side. Lilia tells Malleus that "Send nudes!" means "How are you? What are you doing now?" Malleus takes this as a note. He just wants to share his newfound slang phrase so he decides to use it. Malleus sends "sends nudes everyone!" to prefect's group chat that has MC in it too.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle doesn't know slang nor does he care about learning them.

He isn't the first person to see Malleus' message as he is busy with his prefect duties.

When Riddle sees his message, he asks what he had meant in the group chat since Vil's response seemed like a casual message from him. He regrets saying that in the group after the responses he gets.

Riddle is beyond angry and he just wants to wash his eyes after seeing the responses. He swears he will never ask what a slang phrase means. He doesn't check out his phone for the rest of the day.

🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁

Leona Kingscholar

Leona was sleeping when Malleus sent that message. When he wakes up, he thinks of ignoring it since it is from the lizard but then he sees the content of the message from his notifications as a smirk forms on his face.

Leona gets back to his room as quickly as possible and strips of his clothes and takes his nude photos. Normally he could have chosen one from his photo gallery but he wanted to get the best picture.

He sees Riddle's message "What does send nudes mean?" and he thinks it is the perfect opportunity to send his pictures.

Leona doesn't respond to Riddle instead he @ mentions Malleus and says "Pass this" as he sends his nudes.

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul is aware of the slang humans use. He is caught off guard when Malleus of all people writes "send nudes" in their prefect group chat. 

Of course, Azul isn't going to send his naked pictures in his human form. He learned about human culture to know that those types of pictures are reserved for certain people.

He has been there from the beginning but he stays silent and he just observes what is happening in the chat. After Leona sends his nude images, he wonders if Malleus will send back. He wouldn't use it against Malleus if he decides to send nudes because he isn't stupid enough to get in a legal battle with a crown prince and blackmail one of the most powerful mages in Twisted Wonderland.

Azul is going to use this incident to his advantage. He will offer Malleus to teach him modern slang and where to use them so he would befriend Malleus.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim loves putting a smile on people's faces so when Malleus sent that message, he thought if he sends his nudes, Malleus will be happy. So he decides to take his nude pictures.

"Sorry Malleus :/:'( I wasn't sure how to take my nudes so I asked Jamil to take my nude photos but he almost choked on air before refusing me" "Now he is giving me angry look" "Now he said I am not allowed to send you guys such pictures and he will confiscate my phone if I ever ask him that" "Don't worry Malleus. I'll learn how to take my nudes on my own and send you them as soon as Jamil leaves me alone"

Kalim knows these types of photos getting leaked would lead to issues as a future business owner but since it is just between friends, it is fine.

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

Vil Schönheit

As an actor and model, Vil needs to be accessible to his manager all the time and vice versa. He is the first one to see and read Malleus' message and he is irked by it.

As a celebrity, he knows how having nude pictures on his phone might turn out so he doesn't have nor will he ever have his nudes on his phone. He also thinks it is quite improper to do so.

Vil thinks of scolding Malleus but first, he will send him the only nude that matters - his nude makeup collection. "This is the only valid nude"

When Vil sees Leona sending his nudes to the group, he just snaps. Vil takes Rook with him to scold Leona after he says "No one else will send their naked pictures here!" in the group chat. He thinks will get grey hair and wrinkles because of how Leona and the others behave. He should also talk with Kalim about proper behaviour.

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Idia Shroud

Idia was in the middle of an online game so he wouldn't possibly stop and check out Malleus' message. Even if it weren't an online game, he wouldn't stop.

When the round ends, he checks out what other prefects are talking about in their group chat since he got lots of notifications from it. 

Idia doesn't know how to react at first. The Malleus Draconia asked his fellow prefects and (Y/N) to send their nudes. He replies to that message with "LMFAO" then he proceeds to read the rest. He is crackling as he reads Riddle asking what Malleus meant, Vil sending his nude makeup collection, Kalim apologizing for not being able to take his nudes and finally Leona sending his actual nudes. "LOL" he writes before Vil gets angry at Leona for sending those pictures and Idia for laughing at what is happening. At least Idia didn't send any!

Idia would normally give a savage response but he doesn't want to be at the receiving end of Vil's lectures so he just enjoys reading the chaos unfold.

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

Malleus Draconia

Malleus just wanted to ask how they are doing using the slang phrase his classmates do. He doesn't understand what is happening in the prefect group chat.

He thinks Rosehearts is as clueless as him and him knowing that slang despite Rosehearts not knowing makes me feel better at first. Then for some reason, Schönheit sends a picture of his makeup, followed by Asim apologizing. He thinks they were supposed to say how they are doing and ask him "send nudes" back.

Then Kingscholar sends his own picture wearing nothing and saying "pass this". He certainly didn't need to see Kingscholar's private parts. He then realizes something else is going on and tells Lilia what happened. Lilia says he made a joke and he didn't think Malleus would write it.

Malleus wasn't impressed with his joke until he receives a private message from (Y/N), saying "you should have asked it privately, I'd have sent them anyway" with their naked pictures. After seeing them, Malleus no longer sulks and thinks he should prepare marriage certificate since he has seen (Y/N)'s intimate parts and enjoyed it.

[4fl0tsam]

BANNING ABORTIONS ONLY BANS SAFE ABORTIONS

BANNING ABORTIONS ONLY BANS SAFE ABORTIONS

BANNING ABORTIONS ONLY BANS SAFE ABORTIONS

BANNING ABORTIONS ONLY BANS SAFE ABORTIONS

I cannot stress this enough, and felt like I had to write about it, the absolutely horrific ways people would once again have to turn to so to not be forced to give birth.

(TW: talk about unsafe abortion and its complications)

The overturning of Roe v. Wade has had me disgusted in a number of ways, and to say our SCOTUS is an abomination is an understatement.

But I’ve said this to others in my life OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, and will continue to say it.

Banning abortions will never stop abortions, only safe ones. It will no-doubt raise the amount of deaths while giving birth, deaths from unsafe abortions, and likely, suicides.

So let’s talk about a world without legal, safe abortions shall we? Let’s talk about this terrifying, yet possible future that’s more like taking steps into the past.

I’m sure we all know at least a bit about unsafe abortions. Your mind likely goes to the use of metal clothes hangars, or maybe your mind goes straight to a scene of some Edwardian drama, people making money giving back-alley abortions using an array of horrifying tools in unimaginably painful procedures. And it isn’t some made up story, these are pages in our history books written in blood.

And, while access to safe abortions has risen greatly in the U.S. since Roe v. Wade was put into place in 1973 (along with strides in many other countries), we can still see the affects of outlawed abortion in numerous places around the world today, current examples of what will happen if people continue to lose access to safe abortions in this country.

Some facts:

It is estimated that nearly 25 million unsafe abortions take place annually.

Source: Ganatra B, Gerdts C, Rossier C, Johnson Jr B R, Tuncalp Ö, Assifi A, Sedgh G, Singh S, Bankole A, Popinchalk A, Bearak J, Kang Z, Alkema L. Global, regional, and subregional classification of abortions by safety, 2010–14: estimates from a Bayesian hierarchical model. The Lancet. 2017 Sep

97% of these unsafe abortions take place in developing countries, where safe abortions are not legal.

Unsafe abortion is believed to result in at least 22,800 deaths and millions of injuries annually.

Source: Grimes DA, Benson J, Singh S, Romero M, Ganatra B, Okonofua FE, Shah IH (November 2006). "Unsafe abortion: the preventable pandemic" (PDF). Lancet. 368 (9550): 1908–19. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(06)69481-6. PMID 17126724. S2CID 6188636.

Unsafe abortions are one of the top 5 main causes of maternal death.

Source: Say L, Chou D, Gemmill A, Tunçalp Ö, Moller AB, Daniels JD, et al. Global Causes of Maternal Death: A WHO Systematic Analysis. Lancet Global Health. 2014;2(6): e323-e333.

Around the world, there’s numerous examples of what happens when AFAB people have no right to choose. Abortions aren’t stopped, only the safe ones. THIS is one of the biggest parts pro choice people are so afraid of with the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Because, if the states continue to outlaw abortion, continue to force the closure of clinics, this result is inevitable. There will be a rise of unsafe abortions in this country, PEOPLE WILL DIE.

The possible, and very common, complications of unsafe abortions are horrific.

Some medical complications of unsafe abortion:

infection —Unsafe abortions most often involve instruments that aren’t meant for the human body and are absolutely not sterile, such as a medical instrument would need to be. Bacteria entering the body in such a way could easily cause an infection and lead to sepsis, inflammation throughout the body triggered by chemicals released in the bloodstream to fight infection. This is a deadly complication, and even if you survive, it can leave you with complications like kidney failure, gangrene, brain damage, future immune system issues, and much more.

damage to the vaginal canal, uterus, bowels, bladder and urinary tract, and other organs (resulting in hemorrhage) —The use of a sharp instrument inserted into the vaginal canal has numerous risks and in every circumstance INCREDIBLY dangerous. This practice often leads to damage of the vaginal canal and organs in the area, such as the uterus (uterine perforation), bladder and urinary tract, and bowels. Along with complications that come with the general damage of important organs, such as urinary incontinence, this leads to hemorrhage (blood loss).

infertility. — The damage to the reproductive organs from the process of the procedure itself, along with damage to the body caused by infection and sepsis, can lead to infertility. —While there are many people that undergo an abortion who may never want biological children, an unsafe abortion may very likely take away any choice to have a biological child in the future where a person is prepared to financially, mentally, etc… Losing the choice to have a safe abortion will also lead to the loss of the choice to have a biological child in the future for many, leaving a further psychological impact, that the procedure and its complications would already have on a person.

When you look at these facts, and read stories from the past, it really hits you how disgusting our leaders and judiciaries trying to rid us of this choice are, and how they LIE. They create a narrative that “it’s for the children,” they march around harassing those who’ve received an abortion or are planning to calling themselves pro-life, thinking they’re some kind of vigilantes, some kind of heroes. And yet, once a child is born to someone who isn’t prepared to care for that child, they’re gone. They don’t give a shit about children once they end up in foster care or live in poor circumstances. And they aren’t pro-life, not one bit, they are pro birth. They are pro control.

They SCOTUS and our leaders that support their decision know exactly what this will lead to, they aren’t fucking stupid or naïve. They’re fucking fascists to want to be able to control our bodies. They know that the ban of safe abortions would kill numbers of living, breathing people, they know this, and don’t fucking care, and blood will be on their hands.

One of the things that’s so heartbreaking about the attack on safe abortions is that we were finally at a point where we’d come so far with abortion rights. The generations that came before Roe fought for these changes, those who’d lived to see the affects of forced pregnancies and unsafe abortions in this country. A generation fighting for the generations before even them, with their only choice being procedures of unfathomable pain and risk. They fought because they knew what it was like, they lost loved ones, maybe experienced it themselves.

And the stories from before, of those with no other choice but an unsafe abortion, and the knowledge that this would be the reality once again if safe abortions are banned, is what drives younger generations, post Roe generations to fight for choice.

And unsafe abortions, the horrid risks that so many had to take in the past, despite seeming like some horrible plot of a drama, right out of Handmaid’s Tale, it’s all real, and it wasn’t rare. Too many stories, too many lost. And it’s terrifying, knowing that this can happen again, we can’t let it.

[cappymightwrite]

ASOIAF & Norse Mythology

PART 2: The ‘Long Night’ and the Fimbulvetr

In PART 1 of this meta, from looking at just a few fan question answers, it seems rather clear to me that GRRM has more than just a passing interest in Norse mythology. One of the most fascinating and haunting myths in the Norse canon is the lead up to and resulting fallout of Ragnarök. In the show, the ‘Long Night’ appears to be just that, one night, and not even an awfully long one. In the books, however, it seems likely this will play out very differently. As a Norse nerd, the similarities to Ragnarök are just too obvious not to sit up and take notice, in particular, the similarities between the ‘Long Night’ and what is called the Fimbelvetr — which in my Old Icelandic dictionary translates to ‘the great and awful winter.’

Before I really get things rolling, lets take a moment to go over which Old Norse-Icelandic sources are traditionally used by medievalists to reconstruct the pagan conception of Ragnarök:

The Eddic poems Völuspá ‘The prophecy of the seeress’ (st. 40–51) and Vafþrúðnismál ‘The lay of Vafþrúðnir’ (st. 44–53) — these two poems provide us with quite a lot of information, with some sections being more comprehensive than others. Additionally, other Eddic poems, such as Lokasenna, Hyndluljóð, Grímnismál, and a few others hint at motifs, stemming from the ideas of Ragnarök.

In the Gylfaginning section of the Prose Edda (ch. 51–53), Snorri quotes many of the relevant stanzas from Völuspá in support of his own writing, though he also adds information that is unknown to us from other sources.

There are also a few skaldic* poems which give us minor hints regarding the incidents that will take places during Ragnarök.

NB: Eddic poetry is the term given to the poems primarily contained within the Icelandic Codex Regius manuscript, known as the Poetic Edda (written c. 1270, but arguably containing remnants of an older oral tradition). These poems are of unknown authorship. As for Skaldic poetry, these poems were written by known Icelandic skalds (ONI: skáld, ‘poet’), often in the courts of foreign kings, typically Norwegian, praising their patrons in exchange for royal favour; they span approx. c. 800–1300, so in some cases predate the recording (though not necessarily the composition or oral origins) of the Eddic poems.

According to Jens Peter Schødt, the Gylfaginning and Völuspá ‘are certainly the most extensive’ written sources we have on the Norse myths, as they ‘have played the most crucial role in the history of research.’ It is quite possible that GRRM has read much of the available textual sources on Ragnarök to help inspire his own work. That being said, if I had to bet on one being the touchstone source for him, it would be the Gylfaginning, since not only does it include detailed prose accounts of the events leading up to, during, and following Ragnarök, it also includes relevant Eddic poetry (notably Völuspá) in order to authenticate those descriptions. It really is a one of kind, unique source.

So, how about we begin with chapter 51 of Gylfaginning, where it is asked outright by Gangleri (aka King Gylfi) ‘what is to be said about Ragnarök?’ to which High answers:

There are many important things to be said about it. First will come the winter called Fimbulvetr [Extreme Winter]. Snow will drive in from all directions; the cold will be severe and the winds will be fierce. The sun will be of no use. Three of these winters will come, one after the other, with no summer in between. But before that there will have been another three winters with great battles taking place throughout the world. Brothers will kill brothers for the sake of greed, and neither father nor son will be spared in the killings and the collapse of kinship.* So it is said in The Sibyl’s Prophecy:

Brothers will fight,

bringing death to each other.

Sons of sisters

will split their kin bonds.

Hard times for men,

rampant depravity

age of axes, age of swords

shields split,

wind age, wolf age,

until the world falls into ruin.

The above translation is by Jesse Byock from the Penguin Classics Prose Edda — the translations in square brackets are his and included in the text, and he also uses a translated title for the Eddic poems, in this case, ‘The Sibyl’s Prophecy’ in place of Old Norse-Icelandic: Völuspá.

Several things are striking about this passage, chief among them, the fact that the precursor to Ragnarök is the Fimbulvetr, ‘the great and awful winter’ or ‘Extreme Winter.’ But before that, ‘another three winters’ in which much social upheaval will take place, circumstances that feel quite at home in ASOIAF. I would be hesitant to argue that GRRM is using the above description as an exact blueprint, but that being said, some of the circumstances described do feel very familiar to readers of his series:

‘Brothers will kill brothers for the sake of greed’ / ‘Brothers will fight’

This is perhaps suggestive of the Baratheon brothers, Stannis and Renly. Although, I’d say that the motivations/cause of the latter’s death is a little more nuanced than just ‘greed.’ But this is worth noting: the Norse source might offer us the seed of an idea, but it is GRRM who then “waters” it, effectively imbuing these dynamics with a deeper meaning and complexity.

Also, if we think of ‘brothers’ in a less literal sense, this could also apply to the ‘killing’ of Jon Snow by the black brothers of the Night’s Watch.

‘Neither father nor son will be spared in the killings’

Ned and Robb Stark fit into this category quite well, as both their deaths are gut-wrenching moments in the series. But also, more generally, this highlights that anyone, even beloved family, even heroes, can fall.

‘The collapse of kinship’ / ‘Rampant depravity’

In his footnotes, Byock observes the word sifjaslit to mean ‘the breaking of kinship bonds, but there is also the connotation of incest.’ In my ONI dictionary, sifja-slit translates to ‘adultery,’ since it is a compound of the nouns sifjar ‘affinity, connection by marriage’ and slit ‘rupture, breach’ — the latter most likely derives from the verb slitna, meaning ‘to break’ or ‘snap.’

The breaking of marriage bonds is present in ASOIAF, as in the case of Robert and Cersei’s respective adulteries. But we could also view Robb Stark’s marriage to Jeyne Westerling as a breaking of a betrothal bond as well.

Overall, I would say that there is room for both interpretations, and as we know, GRRM is pretty found of incest, prime cases currently present in canon being Jaime and Cersei Lannister, as well as the Targaryens.

‘Wolf-age’

Wolves feature a lot in Norse mythology, so it is interesting that the Starks, who are really the heart of ASOIAF, are so heavily associated with them.

Furthermore, the provisional title for the last book in the series, A Dream of Spring, was A Time for Wolves. The phrasing of this is just another way of saying ‘Wolf-age’, as found in Völuspá. But to potentially understand GRRM’s change in titles, it should be remembered that wolves in Norse mythology are often associated with war and violence — see, for instance, the kennings ‘wolf-wine’, ‘the river of Fenrir’, ‘the warm ale of the wolf’, which all mean blood. As someone familiar with Old Norse poetry, A Time for Wolves suggests to me a period of violence, whereas A Dream of Spring offers more hope and the potential for rejuvenation, perhaps paralleling the events that follow Ragnarök, as described in the Prose Edda and Völuspá (which I might get into further down the line).

‘Until the world falls into ruin’

It is strongly predicted, and alluded in the text itself, that the Wall will at some point fall, an event that will act as a precursor to the second ‘Long Night.’ The Wall is also considered by some people to be the end of the known world, so its destruction is strongly linked with the collapse of the social structure of Westeros as a whole.

As we can see, certain parallels can be made, though it is also worth noting that there are instances where they can’t be. For example, ‘sons of sisters will split their kin bonds’— I can’t really think of a relationship to compare this to in ASOIAF, unless it hasn’t happened in the text yet, and then who would it be? Robert ‘Sweetrobin’ Arryn and…Bran Stark? There are obvious similarities and ways in which we can link these descriptions to GRRM’s text, but we should be cautious to avoid shoehorning.

Indeed, it is fun to make these comparisons, but I think the main take away from this chapter of the Gylfaginning is that during the time closely preceding the Fimbulvetr, there will be ‘hard times for men’ with much social upheaval, including bloodshed, betrayals, and incest. In my opinion, the ‘Long Night’ has been heavily inspired by the Norse Fimbulvetr, and this is reflected in the way ASOIAF characters describe the ‘Long Night’, closely paralleling its Norse source.

To summarise from the above quotation, during the Fimbulvetr:

‘Snow will drive in from all directions; the cold will be severe and the winds will be fierce.’ (Gylf)

‘The sun will be of no use.’ (Gylf)

‘Three of these winters will come, one after the other, with no summer in between.’ (Gylf)

In ASOIAF, the earliest mention of the ‘Long Night’ is in AGOT, Bran I, in which Bran recalls the ‘the hearth tales of Old Nan’ detailing the apparent savagery and cultural difference between the northerners and the wildings, noting that ‘their women lay with the Others in the Long Night to sire terrible half-human children’. This evokes the above quotation from Völuspá, the reference to ‘rampant depravity’ in particular. But it is later, in Tyrion III, that we get the first real parallel between the Long Night and the Fimbulvetr:

Lord Mormont moved to the window and stared out into the night. “These are old bones, Lannister, but they have never felt a chill like this. Tell the king what I say, I pray you. Winter is coming, and when the Long Night falls, only the Night’s Watch will stand between the realm and the darkness that sweeps from the north. The gods help us all if we are not ready.

From the description in Gylfaginning, we know that the Fimbulvetr is preceded by three winters, ‘one after the other, with no summer in between’. Without taking it too literally, this description at the very least suggests that a move towards cold weather will herald the coming of the ‘Extreme Winter’, as this is foreshadowed as early as AGOT in this Tyrion chapter when Jeor Mormont states that he has ‘never felt a chill like this […] Winter is coming’. Directly following this statement is the foreknowledge that the Long Night is indeed on its way.

The reference to a ‘darkness that sweeps from the north’ is noteworthy too, as although most often associated with freezing weather, the Fimbulvetr is also crucially connected with the disappearing of the sun (‘the sun will be of no use’, Gylf). Indeed, the very name the Long Night suggests much the same phenomenon, as explained to Bran by Old Nan later in AGOT, in Bran IV:

Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides its face for years at a time, and little children are born and live and die all in darkness while the direwolves grow gaunt and hungry, and the white walkers move through the woods.

[…]

Thousands and thousands of years ago, a winter fell that was cold and hard and endless beyond all memory of man. There came a night that lasted a generation, and kings shivered and died in their castles even as the swineherds in their hovels. Women smothered their children rather than see them starve, and cried, and felt their tears freeze on their cheeks.

I mean…this might as well be a description for the Fimbulvetr, it is THAT similar! Indeed, as we know, in the world of ASOIAF the seasons work a bit differently, as alluded to by Old Nan when she refers to ‘a night [i.e. a winter] that lasted a generation’. Similarly, the Fimbulvetr is unusual in that it is preceded by ‘three winters’, which suggests an extended winter lasting up four years, culminating in the ‘Extreme Winter’, aka the Fimbulvetr. It seems likely that the timespan of ‘a generation’ has been exaggerated for the sake of myth making. That being said, we would expect the Long Night to still be noteworthy in its duration. So, perhaps it is possible that, were GRRM to emulate the Norse source, his Long Night could potentially last for a similar amount of time (four years). Either way, I think we all expect it to last longer than it did in the show!

In conclusion, the way in which the Fimbulvetr is described in the Norse sources bears a striking resemblance to the descriptions of the Long Night in ASOIAF. Futhermore, and most interestingly to me, it seems entirely possible that, like the Fimbulvetr, and like the first Long Night that went before it, the next Long Night will include the disappearing of the sun...an important feature that I will discuss further next time! So stay tuned!

References/Bibliography (excluding ASOIAF):

Snorri Sturluson, The Prose Edda, trans. and intr. by Jesse Byock, (London: Penguin Classics, 2005)

Jens Peter Schødt, ‘The Ragnarök Myth in Scandinavia’, in Finding, Inheriting and Borrowing?: The Construction and Transfer of Knowledge in Antiquity and the Middle Ages, 2019, Vol.39, p.365-384

END OF PART 2…

I haven’t quite decided if I will include my stuff about the sun disappearing in Ragnarök and the ‘Red Comet’, or if I’ll give it its own separate part...we’ll see! I would also like to talk a bit about the significance of storytelling as a way of recording history in ASOIAF... Basically, I have a lot of thoughts on things!

[lumpiya]

shaw pack as friends scenes B)

when you realize when joey and chandler were living together it was literally ash and david-

also: A LOT OF AU CONCEPTS IF YOU ARENT INTO THAT THIS AINT FOR YOU-

—————

(au where the shaw pack and mates were all just friends before they started dating)

*angel and david secretly dating*

david: alright i gotta go to work *kisses angel*

angel: *kisses back*

*both stop mid kiss*

sweetheart:

babe:

*both pull away*

david: babe! great to have you back! *kisses babe*

babe:

david: SWEETHEART! *skips over to them and kisses them*

sweetheart:

david: always a pleasure!! *skips out the door awkwardly*

—————

milo: you ate my sandwich?

asher: it was a simple mistake it could happen to anyone

milo: ohhHhhH- re-really?? did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich for the moist maker…?

asher: no- i-

milo: do you perhaps remember seeing a note on top of it…?

asher: there may have been a-a joke… or limerick of some kind…

milo: that said it was my sandwich…

asher: now- now- calm down… come look in my room, some of it may still be in the trash-

milo gets up, appalled: what…?

asher who gets up too, sweating vigorously: w-well it was quite large, i-i-i-i-i had to throw most of it away…

milo covering his eyes: you- you- you threw my sandwich away…

milo: my sandwich…

milo: my sandwich…

milo: MY SANDWICH…

—————

(same au as first one :D)

babe: asher has got a secret peephole.

*in asher’s hand a naked pic of angel*

david: OH NO NO NO NO-

babe snatches picture out of ash’s hand: YES. HE HAS A NAKED PICTURE OF ANGEL, HE TAKES NAKED PICTURES OF US, AND THEN HE EATS CHICKEN, AND THEN LOOKS AT THEM. *shows everyone the picture*

*ash puts down bucket of chicken and walks away with hand on face*

angel: GIVE ME THAT- *snatches picture out of babe’s hand embarrassed*

sweetheart: wait, everyone just calm down, let’s give our friend asher a chance to explain why he’s SUCH A BIG PERVERT-

ash: NO I AM NOT A PERVERT OKAY. it’s just… i just… kinda-

david: alright look… look. i think i can explain this. *walks behind ash*

ash: thank you.

david: … asher’s a sex addict- *pushes him forward*

ash: *turns around at david* WHAT. NO IM NOT.

angel who runs up to ash: ITS OKAY. ITS GOOD. ITS A DISEASE.

ash: NO NO I AM NOT A SEX ADDICT

angel: YES YOU AREEEE. THATS THE ONLY WAY TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS STUFF

ash: no it isn’t. no it’s not. *waves finger at angel and david* because you also can explain it with the truth

babe: well what is the truth??

milo: yeah what’s up?

sweetheart: yeah what’s going on??

*ash looks at both david and angel but they’re both begging to not say anything with their eyes*

ash who’s given up: i… slept with angel :/

angel: Ö

babe: ö

sweetheart: ö

milo: o_o

david: LETS- LETS SEE WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS OF THAT-

angel: oh… oh no… *walks away*

(also milo and angel are cousins?) milo: *slowly walks up to ash* … you slept with my cousin?

ash: uhhhh… yes, but it was- we just did it once- uhhh in london-

milo: this is not good for my rage. *opens a bottle of pills and takes one and walks away*

babe: …. angel… is this true…?

ash: of course it’s true! how else would you explain the weird stuff goin on??

angel: yes it’s true…

babe:

sweetheart:

milo:

babe: okay but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in out apartment the other day??

ash: aaaaaaaaaa oi! that was the underwear i was wearing that night in london! right angel? *slaps their butt*

angel who’s angry at the whole situation: i guess i wanted to keep it as a souvenir…

ash who’s loving how the tables turned:

—————

(babe is the pizza dood :D cool au i thought of right as i saw this scene-)

*babe came a couple times that night and ash complimented their hair and they said it makes them look like an 8 year old boy*

babe: hey!

ash: hi!

babe: one vegetarian pizza, it’s 12.50.

ash takes wallet out of pocket: uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better i happen to like 8 year old boys ;) *realizes immediately how that came out wrong*

babe who can’t process wtf came out of this dood’s mouth: …. what-

ash: no- i mean- it was just- nunu- your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought that your hair looked like an 8 year old boy’s, and i- i’m just saying i like it…. th- the hair-

babe who’s still processing: …. thanks-

ash: …. you understand i don’t actually like 8 year old boys…

babe: you know, all i’m looking for is the money *awkward laugh*

milo who swoops in: here you go *hands them the money* now stop bringing us those pizza’s you :)

babe who’s thankful that this awkward conversation is over: i’m gonna try :)

*babe walks away*

*ash closes the door angrily*

milo: you’re welcome :D

ash: YOU COULDNT LET ME HAVE THEM COULD YOU.

—————

milo: hey sweetheart watchu reading?

*sweetheart hides behind magazine*

milo sits down beside them: hello?

*sweetheart scoots away and hides behind magazine more*

milo: sweetheart- *tries to grab magazine out of their face*

*sweetheart leans away from his hand trying to stay hidden behind the magazine*

milo getting frustrated: come on! *snatches magazine out of their hands*

sweetheart: oh i’m sorry i didn’t see you there!

milo: sweetheart, are you mad at me or something? cause if you are, please tell me what it is i did.

sweetheart: well if you don’t know i can’t help you

milo: well i don’t know

sweetheart: well i can’t help you

milo: okay well whatever it is, i am very very sorry. okay?

sweetheart fiddles with their fingers: ….apology accepted

milo: okay. so… so we’re good?

sweetheart smiles: uh huh!

milo: alright. *gives back magazine*

*milo gets up from couch*

milo: i’ll uh… i’ll see you later okay?

sweetheart: bye… fatass-

milo: ALRIGHT-

—————

(babe and ash drunk off their asses in a vegas hotel room)

*ash drawing out cards one by one*

babe: hit me

ash flips card:

babe: hit me:

ash flips card:

babe: hit me

ash: flips card

babe: hit me

ash: flips card

babe: hit me

ash flips last card:

babe: hit me….

ash: *sigh* we need more cards…

babe: yeah and uh we need more drinks, hold on a second *babe gets up from floor all wobbly* wope- okay- *picks up phone on bed* hello? vegas! yeah- we would like some more alcohol and you know what else? we would like some more beers.

*ash nods*

babe: oh- TCHA- i forgot to dial!!!

*both start wheezing*

*someone knocks on their door*

ash: that must be our alcohol and beers!

—————

[v-hope]

1) they make IUDs small enough to fit people who haven't given birth, there are a couple of models! Mine is called mirena you can look it up if you want to check. IUDs are the first recommendation for contraceptives in sweden because they have less hormones than the pill and you don't have to remember to take a pill each day. Having it put in though, that is quite unpleasant. But for me it was worth it!

2) I found learning spanish quite easy pronunciation-wise, the vowels are open and you roll your r's in spanish as well. "Ö" and "ä" (but it's like a in apple so not that difficult) might be a bit tricky and maybe "y" as it is quite different in spanish. Finnish is almost entirely a phonetic language so nearly everything is said as it is written. "Ng" is the only thing that is not.

3) yeh i'll adopt you if you bring the cats with you 🐱🐱🐱

-🇫🇮

i actually wanted an IUD bc i’m always forgetting to take pills on time and i wouldn’t be able to risk it when it comes to birth control 😬 plus what happened here last year made me very wary of them all. i just looked up the one you have and they actually do have it here 👀 it’s like $220 dollars but it would be a good inversion considering i would just not have to care for five years lol. so i’ll try to get more info about it and see if i can get it! thank you so much for telling me about it 💕

honestly i don’t know a thing about finish but you made it sound pretty interesting so i will try to find out more about it as well 👀 and did i get it wrong or did you just say that you learned spanish??

i will bring my cats with me don’t worry, we have a deal then 🤧 lsñsksñs

[rouiyan]

hiiiiiii. i was wondering if u could assign your moots as fanfics or tropes? love your works !

omg yes! i think my inbox has been acting up lately but i’m so glad this one came through! also to my moots: if i didn’t get you, it probably means i don’t know you all that well, feel free to hit up my dms and let’s talkkk <33

long asf so under the cut it goes!

@seeing-dreams: lori babe, something about you talking about marrying your hubby 💍 chenle all the time, so much so that the only thing i can think of is: a three-day school trip to some ski resort, and you are forced to sit on the bus with him because your best friend ditched you for her own manz which led to a slight e2l at first, but then you guys bond on the lifty things (tf are they called, like the things that take you up the mountains 🚠) and then boom, magic happens, y’all are engaged.

@orange-nimon-cross: straight up got confused for a sec bc i kept tryna type @/yunha, but here goes: you probably think imma say angst, but nahh, we going ✈️ soft hours. i’m thinking a bsf2l w sicheng, like a high school au where you guys have liked each other for forever but neither of you are willing to admit it until hmm, let’s say he’s asked to prom by someone else and (duN, dUN, DUN) he says yes because he thinks you’ll never like him back...so thus ensues a long, agonizing, period where you stop talking and (this is turning into an angst), and then finally at prom, in like the most dramatic and prolonged way, you lay your feelings straight to him and everyone’s like ö and then you’re crying bc you think it’s a mistake, oh no i’ve ruined everything, omg wtf is wrong w me, and then he kisses you :)

@moonbeamsung: hannah, so here’s the thing. i’m writing it right now. UGH. i was gonna keep this a secret until i decided to release it for sure but ‘chocolate milk’ (the renjun x reader that was supposed to be released over the past break but lol no) is for you! inspired by a bio of yours that i saw on some network where you said you wanted to live in a childhood friends to lovers au, and i manifested it, i really did, but i have no release date as of now HAHA ily.

@lebrookestore: BROOKE, YOU ALREADY KNOW, taeyong angst. i’m also writing it right now so i’m unable to give too much detail but you literally already know (since you requested it LMAO). uhh, let’s see what i can say for now: college au (someone stop me from writing college aus from here on forward), uhh ex!taeyong, uhh vodka in milk 🥛. teaser comes out this week, it’s angsty to the max (but fluff ending!)

@moonlightjeno: luna! my hands are itching to type ‘streetracer jeno au’ but i’m trying to not say something so gosh darn obvious. OMG I GOT IT. we were discussing this the other day hehe -- fantasy au (wink wonk) OMG (ok this doesn’t necessarily count as fantasy bc i’m not bouta world build in this one ask but) werewolf!jeno -- consider me dead 💀consider me deceased ⚰️, consider me to have never been birthed in the first place ❌🤰. this reminds me of this exo bbh fanfic, i read like fifteen times a long while ago, called ‘psych’ (i think the acc has deactivated since) but similarly...you’re broke and you’ll take any rental listing within a twenty minute walk to your college (college au again, when can i stop with these) and you move into the one listing that fit your budget -- but you have to room with (a very hot) roommate!jeno and all the neighbors are already telling you about his “anger issues” and how he likes to smash things around all the damn time. you find out soon enough, one horrifying night, when you walk into his room (door accidentally unlocked) to give him his idk...mail...and right before your eyes he’s shifting (full moon’s out 🌕 and all that) and in the midst, he’s like yelling at you to leave and you do, but then the next time you force him to let you stay with him and over time, he learns to control and you guys fall in love yada, yada, yada. (i really went off didn’t i? oh dear, ignore me).

@danishmiilk: xingyi, hello 👋 , it is i, ree, who you never talk to. but hear me out, babe...coffee shop au...manager!doyoung x customer!reader...in which you complain *once* about how rude the cashier (haechan) was for commenting that your order (a perfectly normal hot chocolate with extra whip cream and sprinkles) was for kiDs oNLy. mans was dragged from his office in the back and, surprisingly unsurprisingly, y’all hit it off right away -- it took only *once* for him to ask you out on a date, rendering cashier!haechan speechless and your world upturned....HAHA. negl, this plot slaps.

@jaeminzie: cel babe, this one literally radiates your energy, i am 👏 not 👏 even 👏 joking. first off, childhood au (i sense another recurring theme...oh no), you and bestfriend!jaemin (ahh, the bsf2l trope that i can never escape) have been going to the same summer camp since the two of you were little kids. as soon as you’re old enough to be camp counselors well, that’s exactly what happens. except, that’s also exactly what causes your first fight, a silly, stupid fight over who could win best camp counselor of the summer by vote of the kids. think baking competition, skipping stones at the lake, fort making, folding paper planes, anything. (yes, i have succumbed to my other overused trope: e2l). and then...an angry, filled with pent up frustrations, pillow fight that has you toppling all over him and *accidentally* brushing your lips to his nose---the rest is self-explanatory.

__________

phew, that’s all i can do. i have exhausted all my brainpower and perhaps an hour of my time. i bolded the important stuff because i know it’s a lot, i’m a lot, i’m very extra. i also might be using some of these because sometimes...idk man...sometimes i’m an absolute genius. thank you to the terribly endearing anon that asked for this, you are loved (by me! hehe)

[lonelypond]

Parent Trap, Ch. 9

NicoMaki, NozoEli, Love Live, 2.6K 9/?

Summary: Maki is on a mission; Nico is on the job.

Car Culture

Dia was crying. Maki groaned. Why wasn’t Raye...oh, no Raye. With a curse, Maki kicked off her blanket, catapulted out of bed, grabbing a robe to throw on, feet awkwardly groping for slippers. A message blinking on her muted phone. Nico. At 5 a.m.

N: Hope you and Dia have a good day. Nico’s going to be so busy ε= ٩(●❛ö❛)۶

N: But Maki will be so impressed when Nico’s video’s done.

No kiss emoji, no hearts, no...Nico-ness...a wail from Dia. Maki had no time to mope. Or make up. She had a growing, growling, grumpy daughter demanding all her attention.

###

“Maki, calm down.” Rin leaned back against the arm of her couch, sending her calmest mood at Maki.

“It’s been two and a half days, Rin. Dia doesn’t want to eat anything, keeps asking for Nico, who’s too busy to answer her damn phone, and I CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE LILO AND STITCH.”

Rin could see Maki pacing, kicking the rug that was at the center of the cabin’s main room. Dia was probably napping, like Tora. Maki needed to nap more. “Calm down, Maki. I’ll drive up there. Why are you in Wisconsin anyway? Where’s Raye?”

“Can you watch Dia?” Maki had no volume control. Rin grimaced, rubbing her ear.

“Is that Maki?” Hanayo stuck her head in, “Can you ask her what Nico’s new…”

Rin made a slashing gesture to head off Hanayo’s question. Hanayo pouted. Rin walked to the door, gently pushed Hanayo one step away, and closed the door.

“Maki, are you all right to drive?”

“Of course, I’m all right to drive.”

“But you sound so angry.”

“You’ve known me for more than a decade, Rin. When has anger interfered with anything?”

Rin could check off a huge list of times. But that would not calm Maki down. “So you’re going to see Nico?”

“Yeah, there’s this huge party we got invited to. ” Maki was now moderating her volume.

But Maki’s declaration had kicked Rin into red zone worried mode. “You’re going to a huge party. Because of Nico. Do you know anyone else who’ll be there?”

“Honoka will be there.”

Rin blinked. Maki and Honoka parties were a legendary recipe for disaster. Honoka’s impulsiveness brought out Maki’s idgaf core principle. Mix in alcohol and...

“I just want to talk to someone taller than my knee, Rin.” Maki sounded desperate.

“We’re talking. I’m taller than your knee.” Rin fell back on the couch. This was bad.

Maki’s voice softened. “Please, just watch Dia for me for a couple of days. She really misses Tora.”

“So you’re meeting Nico there?” That wouldn’t be so bad.

“Probably, sure, I don’t know the exact details yet.”

“I’m worried about you, Maki, you sound really upset. And you and Honoka and parties...”

Maki didn’t let Rin go drag out her history. “Rin, just please…”

“What?”

“Take care of my daughter.” Maki was tapping on something, probably unconsciously, Rin could hear the vibrations. “Nico’s upset because my parents sent me to Wisconsin, Nico likes parties, I REALLY miss Nico and…” Maki sounded nervous, Rin knew how reluctant her friend was to discuss anything related to dating and sex, “that disconnect is starting to happen.”

“So meet Nico somewhere and…”

“Rin, I am driving to Chicago, I am changing into a sexy dress, I am going to a party, I am going to down a couple of shots of something, and I am going home with my girlfriend.”

Rin sighed, “We’ll talk when you get here. Just please drive carefully. For me. And Dia.”

“Of course, I will.” Maki exhaled, “Thanks, Rin.”

“I’m your bestie, Maki.”

Maki laughed, “See you soon.”

Rin hoped five hours driving would wear Maki out enough to be reasoned with.

###

Nico couldn’t slump yet. Fourteen hours on the set, the crew were getting ready for the big stunt, Cocoro was confirming the details of something with the director, and Umi was handing Nico a bottle of electrolyte solution, a bright enough green to wake Nico up.

“Start with that.” Umi frowned, “You don’t want to get sick.”

“Thanks, Umi.”

“When does your tour start?”

“Too soon,” Nico swallowed a cough.

“It is essential to allow yourself a chance to recover physically from the kind of exertion you are experiencing.”

“You’re not my doctor.”

“I’m sure Maki would say the same.”

“She’s not my doctor either. She doesn’t know anything about this kind of day.” Nico chugged the entire bottle.

Umi seemed genuinely puzzled. “If you don’t talk about your work, what do you talk about?”

“Nico doesn’t remember, it’s just kind of a tired sexy blur. Maki’s surprisingly....”

Umi didn’t have to frown. Her entire posture screamed displeasure at Nico’s cavalier comment.

“Sorry. Nico just misses Maki.” Nico tossed the bottle into the recycling barrel, “We’ve been talking about our pasts. Talking about the present gets us to Dia and…”

Nico’s phone pinged. Maki’s ringtone. “Hang on a sec.” Nico switched to full charm mode, Umi didn’t know where she found the energy. “Hey, sexy.”

“Nico, you have to come here, now.” A shrill, panicky voice.

“Who is this? Where’s Maki?”

“In the shower.”

“Who is this?”

Umi was surprised by the anger in Nico’s voice.

“It’s Rin, you know, Maki’s bestie.”

Nico could feel her forehead clench. “Is Maki okay? Is something wrong with Dia? Why are you on her phone.”

“Cause I don’t have your number on mine, duh. You have to come here. Now.”

NIco sagged, leaning against a wall, “Okay, Rin, where do you want Nico to go? Wisconsin?”

“Nah, Maki’s at me and Kayo-chin’s house.”

That was news to Nico. When and why had that happened? Nico sighed. She needed more than electrolytes and sugar to deal with this.

Rin continued. “Maki wants to go to this big party, to meet you, but it’s a Honoka party and whenever Maki goes to a Honoka party in this mood, there’s tequila and…”

“How can Maki meet Nico if Nico isn’t going to the party? Nico is working.” Nico flung out a hand as if to show Rin everything and everyone on the set.

“Oh, she won’t like that.” Rin sounded sad.

“Hang on a sec.” Nico put her hand over the mic, “Was Honoka Maki’s college roommate?”

Umi nodded, “Briefly, why?”

“Just learning some more Maki facts…”

Rin’s loud chirp called Nico’s attention back to her phone. “So you’ll take Maki to the party. I’ll tell Maki I ordered her a ride. It’ll be a good surprise.”

Nico wanted to punch the wall. “Nico can’t pick up Maki. Nico has to finish filming a dance, crash a car, rescue a dangerous damsel, and save the world.”

“But what am I gonna do, Nico?” A whine.

“Tell Maki to skip the party and call me later. For pizza or something, Nico knows a place.” And that was as much help as Rin was getting from Nico. Maki was an adult, she could make her own choices. Nico chose to follow through on her responsibilities.

Call ended, Nico slid the mute button over and tossed her phone into her bag. “And now Nico blows everybody away.”

Umi nodded, already going down her mental checklist for Nico’s upcoming stunt. “Make sure the safety harness is tight. I’ll go over all the fastenings.”

“You’re just fas-cinated by Nico Ni.” Nico bounced into her pose.

Umi stared at Nico, then quirked an eyebrow, “That tired, huh?”

Lowering her hands, Nico giggled, which lightened the weight, “Yeah, I guess so.”

###

“Is my ride here yet, Rin? Did Dia get to sleep? I still have to dry my hair.” Maki, a towel slung over her head, dressed in a clinging lilac to near black ombre swing dress. Rin grabbed Maki, forcing her into a seat.

“What the hell, Rin?” Pulling off the towel, Maki glared.

Rin had her hands on her hips, her expression serious, finger wagging at Maki’s nose. “You’re grounded, Maki. No parties.”

Maki stood, looming over Rin, staring down at her oldest friend. “I’ll say it again, Rin, what the hell?”

“Nico’s not going to that party. You’re in a foul mood and you’ll just get in trouble. You know how you get.”

“You got really boring.” Maki pushed Rin back.

Rin shook her head, “No. I’m a mom. In a relationship. And so are you. And Nico’s a real person with feelings and a stunt car crash to do…”

Maki pulled Rin back, lifting the shorter woman off her feet, nose to nose, “What do you mean, stunt car crash?”

“Nico said she had to” Rin concentrated, “Crash a car, rescue a girl, save the world.”

Maki dropped Rin and glanced at the nearest clock, it was after 9 p.m. “She’s still working? She stared at 5 a.m.”

“You work crazy shifts.”

“I’m used to it…” Maki tapped Rin on the shoulder, “How do you know so much about Nico?”

“I called her to tell her to take you to the party. And she said she had to crash a car.’ Rin inhaled, her chartreuse eyes determined.“You need to communicate better with Nico if you want a successful relationship like me and Kayo-chin, Maki.”

Maki sagged into the couch, head in her hands. Rin was practicing her parent of a teenager moves and Maki did not appreciate it. “Where is she?”

RIn shrugged.

Maki grabbed her phone, hitting Nico’s number. No reply. Then she tried Cocoro.

“Cocoro Yazawa. Can I help you?”

“This is Maki. Let me talk to Nico.”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Nishikino, my sister left no instructions about being interrupted.”

“Where are you?” Maki felt her jaw clench.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Nishikino, but the set location is secret.”

“Tell me…”

Cocoro’s curt, professional tones cut off Maki’s snapped demand, “I will let Nico Ni know you called, Dr. Nishikino.”

And a ringtone. Maki wanted to throttle Cocoro. But that wouldn’t be any way to make inroads with Nico. Umi, Nico had hired Umi, Umi would...no, Kotori would, Kotori could be persuaded to share information. Umi’s integrity was unbreachable by anyone not Kotori.

###

“Hey, is Nico coming home tonight?” Nozomi slid next to Eli on the couch, wearing Eli's robe, her hair loose and luxurious.

Eli put down her Atlantic magazine, “I don’t know. Why?”

“I want you to stop pretending you’re mad at me and sleep in my bed.” Nozomi bit at Eli's shoulder.

Eli snorted, “How romantic.”

“I’m not offering romantic.” Nozomi took the magazine out of Eli’s hand, then grabbed Eli’s wrists to pull her closer, green eyes alit with dangerous urges. “You have needs. I have wants. And really really graphic fantasies.” Nozomi’s tongue licked from Eli’s ear to her...

“NOZOMI!”

“Text Nico, tell her to sleep in her own bed. Unless you want her to know that you…”

Eli put both her hands on Nozomi’s face, pulled her beloved, impossible wife in close, and drifted into a slow promise of the deepest of kisses, the only way to stop the avalanche of provocation. Then she grabbed her phone.

###

Nico winced, her ears still ringing. The boom had blasted through her hearing protection and her head had maybe, maybe contacted the crash foam. She couldn’t exactly remember the sequence of events. The helmet had helped, but pulling it off dramatically had been immediately followed by a wobbly tilt into the car. Nico was now taking a minute, eyes closed, to rest before checking if the world really was spinning.

“NICO!”

The crash must have messed her up, she thought she heard Maki’s voice. Bad enough she’d nearly messed up the timing because she kept wondering if Maki had gone to Tsubasa’s party and how many shots of tequila had she downed. Maybe Nico had been thinking about tequila so much Nico was sympathetic tipsy.

“Nico?”

A hand on Nico’s arm, with a grip that was going to add to Nico’s bruises. Arnica gel, entire tube, maybe Nico could find a sympathetic dancer who had massage skills. Nico opened her eyes. Maki, face flushed, gorgeous eyes weary and worried, a killer ombre shaded dress clinging to curves that made Nico instantly more alert. Maki smiled at Nico, then opened her sling bag and handed Nico a menu.

“Read the prices to me, Nico.”

After a couple of minutes, Nico realized what was odd. “You carry pizza menus around with you?”

“Just read the numbers, Nico.” Maki’s beautiful long fingers traced a pattern on the paper.

Maki had knelt, staring up into Nico’s face. It was all weird. “What kind of a date is this? Quizzes first?”

“It’s a concussion test, Nico. Eye movement is one of the biggest disruptions.”

“You like….” Nico wondered why she’d started that sentence. “Eyes, Nico’s eyes.”

Maki bit her lip, nervous, it was sexy adorable, and Nico would have given up a platinum record to not be feeling nauseous.

Umi appeared next to Maki. “I checked the footage. There was definite head contact. Cocoro’s sending everyone home. I’m glad you’re here, Maki.”

“Nico, can you read me the prices of a couple of appetizers, three pizzas, and a dessert.” Maki’s voice was very calm, but Umi noticed her hands trembling.

“Clever.” Umi whispered.

“Just order whatever you want, Maki.” Nico let the menu drop, “Nico will pay.” Nico leaned back onto the car, Maki and Umi with a quick glance agreed to split and support Nico from either side.

“C’mon Nico, I’m taking you home.” Maki said quietly.

Nico frowned, “Nah, Eli’s right?”

“Are you sure she shouldn’t go to an ER?” Umi pulled her phone out, ready to hit 911.

“I’ll take her if her symptoms worsen.” Maki tapped the car hood, considering. “I want to avoid noise and people.”

“Hey, Sis!” Cocoro raced up, “The director wants to talk to you about tomorrow.”

“Nico won’t be here tomorrow.” Maki snapped.

Cocoro shoved between Maki and Nico, “You have no authority here, Ms. Nishikino. Nico handles everything.”

Maki spoke deliberately. “There is a high likelihood that Nico has a concussion. She will need to recover before she does anything else.”

Nico smiled and hugged her sister, “Hey, Cocoro! Where’s the car?”

“We can still shoot some of the background scenes tomorrow, Cocoro, if I remember the storyboard correctly. I’ll help you figure out who we need.” Umi pulled Cocoro to the side, trusting Maki to support Nico.

“But Tsubasa’s scheduled…”

“Tsubasa…” Nico raspberried, “can go away.”

“Is there a problem with her cameo? Cocoro sounded concerned.

“The problem is your sister has a concussion.” Maki put her arm around Nico’s waist, Nico leaned in to her, “I’m taking her home.”

“To your place?” Cocoro relaxed, “Good. Eli called me, Nico. She said she needed some wife time.”

Nico didn’t appear to be listening.

Maki did not want to deal with her parents. “We’ll just go to her house. I know the address.”

Cocoro frowned, “But there’ll be…”

Umi decided the matter, “That’s a good idea, Maki. Nico gets dropped off sometimes on the block behind and sneaks through her neighbor’s backyard. I suggest that.”

“Okay.” Maki kept careful watch of Nico, “Text me the address.”

“I’ll drive you. They’ll be watching for your car.”

“This one’s got Wisconsin plates. No one’s seen it.” Maki pulled a beanie out of her bag and pulled it over her red hair. She handed another one to Nico, “Let’s be spies.”

Nico stared at the hat, as if unsure what to do with it. Cocoro, after a glance at Maki, stepped forward and pulled it over Nico’s carefully coiffed apocalypse hair. “Dr. Nishikino’s gonna take good care of you, sis.”

“Nico doesn’t need a doctor.” Grumpy, hunched Nico detached from Maki to lean against the car.

“All right, Nico, I won’t be just a doctor.” Maki blinked, feeling tears in the corner of her eyes, “But buy me that pizza. For our date.”

Nico nodded, “Okay.”

“Let’s go pick it up.”

Nico stood, Maki offered her hand, Nico reached for it, missing the first time, “I’ll drive.”

Maki hummed.

A/N: Good and sad things the past week, hope you are well.

[aura-elustri-malrei]

Speculation about vowels

I’ve been thinking a lot today about potential vowel pronunciation in Aurënfaie. 

As far as I can tell, Aurënfaie is first and foremost a conlang that is intended to be read by native English speakers. If you read an Aurënfaie word aloud as you would an English one, chances are you won’t be that far off the mark. This in and of itself is not a bad thing - were it a conlang for conlanging’s sake, it might be considered a negative, but this is a fantasy novel with an English-speaking readership, and Aurënfaie absolutely fulfils its purpose of fleshing out the world and making it seem more alive, and especially of making Aurënen feel alive and more different to the more familiar Skala.

With that out the way, let’s get down to what canon gives us. More under the cut!

In terms of its writing in English, we have 17 ways of writing vowels in Aurënfaie: a, á, ä, â, e, é, ë, i, í, o, ó, ö, ô, u, ú, ü and y. This is a lot. For a comparison, English has (IIRC) around 12~14 (or maybe more?) depending on dialect, and German has about the same, and these are both considered pretty big vowel inventories. Japanese only has five, and some languages have as little as three. So my first thought was something like, “no way, are you telling me all these vowels are pronounced differently? Are the diacritics just meant to look cool?!” But I think I may have found the answer.

Big big disclaimer: I don’t know Ancient Greek well, but I do know that Lynn Flewelling has studied it, and that Aurënfaie is partially based on it.

Acute and circumflex

In some languages, like German, diacritics, or accents, indicate a sound change. Today I happened upon information about diacritics in Greek which used to be used to indicate pitch accent. This is a system where some syllables in words are emphasised by saying them in a different pitch, much like Japanese today. This would already be pretty useful, but what’s super extra useful is that two of the accents used - the acute and circumflex - are also used in Aurënfaie!

The acute accent is used in Ebrahä Rabás (Traitor’s Moon), and in Ancient Greek this is used to indicate a higher-pitch if the syllable is short or a rising pitch if the syllable is long.

The circumflex accent is used in Bôkthersa, and indicates a high and then falling pitch in the same syllable, but only appeared in long vowels and diphthongs.

Ancient Greek also uses a grave accent to indicate a low or neutral tone, but Aurënfaie doesn’t have this accent.

Originally I was toying with the idea of acute accent being another way of writing long vowels, but I really think it might be the case that Aurënfaie is a pitch accented language. This puts our vowel count to a slightly more friendly nine!

Diaeresis

The final diacritic is the diaeresis ö ä ü, or the umlaut in some languages. My experience with this accent is with German, where it indicates a sound change (such as u /u/ to ü /y/), but there is also another use. In some languages, (including Greek!) the use of the diaeresis on a vowel tells you that the vowel is not part of a diphthong, but should be pronounced as its own syllable. This is present in some words of English, such as “naïve”, or the names “Chloë” or “Zoë”.

Sorted! ...Right? Ah, well, this accent appears in Aurënfaie words which only have one vowel, like dös (”Agrai methiri dös prakra”), so it’s pretty obviously not part of a diphthong. So, what does it do? No idea. But I’ll look into other options! I don’t think it’s sound change, because then we might find vowels with the grave stacked on top of a diaeresis. For now, I’m going to assume that the accent indicates some other realisation of our main five vowels.

What about the double letters?

Ah, those. Words with consecutive iterations of the same letter in Aurënfaie include soori, the clan name Lhaar, and the place name Rhíminee. According to the Flewelling Pronunciation Guide, these are “SOOR-ee”, “lahr”, and “RIM-in-nee” respectively.

The first two are pretty easy: they’re probably long vowels. From this, we can assume that doubling a vowel makes it longer, and that this distinction might be phonemic (or, speakers of the language perceive a different in meaning depending on whether it’s long or short). However, the given pronunciation of “RIM-in-nee” (maybe /ˈɹɪm.ɪn.iː/) doesn’t work with this - “ee” would be a longer version of “e”, with this system.

This probably comes about as a result of English spelling. English underwent something called the Great Vowel Shift, where many vowels changed over a period of time, and spelling often hasn’t changed with it. The change relevant here is the one that occured in the word “meet” - as the spelling might suggest, it was originally pronounced with the vowel /eː/, but is now /iː/, which is the exact kind of pronunciation and spelling combination we see in Rhíminee.

To reconcile this, it could be the case that a similar sound change happened in Aurënfaie. My personal headcanon is that maybe the Skalan pronunciation of the city diverged, and /eː/ became /iː/, but mainland Aurënfaie kept the original pronunciation, but that’s all speculation.

And all that’s left is... y

In English, the letter “y” can be realised as both the consonant /y/, like in “yellow” and as a vowel, which can be pronounced several ways. It’s the monophthong /i/ in “happy” and the diphthong /aɪ/ in “try”. Aurënfaie might do something similar. According to the Flewelling Pronunciation Guide, chyptaulos is pronounced as “chip-TAU-los”, which would be either /t͡ʃɪpˈtau̯.lɔs/ or /t͡ʃɪpˈtoː.lɔs/ in my accent, depending on what you think “TAU” is. (This is where you start to see the benefit of providing IPA...). Either way, that makes “y” the /ɪ/ sound in “trip” or “did”. And okay, this checks out for ysanti bëk kir or yri nala molkrat vy pri nala estin. But hold up... Nyal’s name is pronounced like “nye-AL”, not “nee-AL”! I’ve only seen this used in names, though, so you could play around with the idea of it being an archaic spelling that’s only used in names, or something like that.

The results?

With the accents performing pitch duties (in the case of the acute and grave), the diaeresis maybe doing something similar, and “y” acting as more or less an alternate spelling of /i/, that brings us down to a nice phonemic five vowels (a, i, u, e, o), with maybe some more as allphones. How exactly you pronounce these vowels likely depends on your accent and where they are in the word.

Further plans

I apologise for my updates being incredibly sporadic. As much as this is a passion project of mine, my own conlang gives me a lot more power over what I can do with the language :D I’m also pretty busy lately.

The next post I do will probably be about consonants, which, thank fuck, are much less variable. However, I do have to deal with the question of “does the “h” after the “k” in “kh” change the pronunciation? And why would it?” I would also need to do one about diphthongs, as this post only covers monophthongs.

I’d also like to do a post about the different sources I use for the actual Aurënfaie corpus and pronunciation.

If anyone out there has read this far and has any comments, corrections or other opinons, please let me know! I only have one perspective, after all. This also applies if anything I have said isn’t clear - I want this to be understandble, even if you don’t know lots about linguistics.