#why the fuck are you even getting an allowance if you cant even wash dishes my god. are you being paid fucking reparations for being born??

[yusukenui]

.

[forestryfae]

man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen

i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.

i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.

i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.

so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.

the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.

plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.

and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.

like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - Twenty Seven

I Mean It, 100%

No warnings

“My dads a wolf, isn’t he?” she asked, leaning up against the counter where she had just finished washing dishes from the lunch they had cooked together. All the pieces were falling into place in her mind. The reason why her parents split up, how both her mom and dad know more than most about the tribe secrets, why her dad never came to see them in Seattle. It still didn’t excuse his absence from her life, or the way he was behaving now, but she understood a little bit better considering if she were to leave, Paul wouldn’t be able to follow.

Paul gave her a sympathetic look before nodding.

“And you weren’t allowed to tell me.” she continued.

“I wanted to, trust me. He didn’t even want me to tell you about the imprint, let alone that I was a wolf.” he admitted to her. He looked relieved, and she knew that because she had figured it out on her own Sam’s gag order didn’t exactly matter anymore.

“Why?”

“He never wanted you to get involved with this life.” he pointed out, clearly knowing something she didn’t

“He had to know there was a possibility that someone in the pack would've been imprinted.” she stated, now knowing only a few other members had imprinted.

“I’m sure he did.” he said, pausing slightly before adding, “He just didn’t think it would be me.”

“What do you mean?” Now she was confused.

“I have this anger thing,” he admitted quietly, his head not looking up from the table

“You’re never angry.” she said, confused. While they had, had their moments, the only time he had gotten really angry at her was the day at the beach when he found out she was having sex with Chase. She remembered his entire body shaking but not once did she think he was going to hurt her.

“Not with you. Never with you. But when you’re not around, or when we argue, I sometimes lose it. Phase accidentally, that sort of thing.” he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, “It's gotten a lot better since I imprinted on you, but I don’t think he sees that. He may not show it well, but he's protective of you.”

“That’s kinda hot.”She stated, imagining him angry enough to phase accidentally.

“It's serious, Lu.” he chastised her.

“I know, can I offer a suggestion?” she asked him, using a rag to dry off a pan.

“Mhmm.” he said looking back at his work on the table.

“Maybe next time you get the angry when im not around, just think about how you cant fuck me silly if you phase, but you can if you just call me.” she said lightheartedly, though deep down she wouldn’t mind. 

“Fuck, I love you.”

Tallulah paused, putting the plate she was drying back onto the counter. Tension quickly filled up the room as the both came to terms with what Paul had said. No boy had ever told her they loved her before. Especially a boy who technically was not her boyfriend. They were still feeling eachother out, and though they haven't known each other that long, the imprint was definitely fast tracking their feelings for eachother, or at least it felt like it was for her. It was scary and wonderful at the same time. 

“Tallulah..” he started before she held up her hand to stop him,

“Don’t,” she said looking over her shoulder at him, though he had already shifted his entire body in her direction, “I’m not going to say it back. I want to mean it 100% when I do, not a heat of the moment type of thing. And not because you said it.”

He nodded his head in understanding, “Just so you know. I meant it 100%.”

“I know.” she gave him a genuine smile before turning back to continue drying the dishes in front of her. “I need Embry's number by the way.”

“No.” Paul scoffed.

“What? Why?” she asked, picking up a plate and wiping it dry.

“Whatever you need Embry for, I can help with.” he said adamantly.

Tallulah rolled her eyes, “Not this thing. It's for your birthday.”

“How do you know when my birthday is?” he questioned with suspicion in his tone.

“A little birdie told me.” she teased. Emily had mentioned it to her after class one day and she made sure to write it down. Tallulah loved celebrating other peoples birthdays. It was the few times a year she could paint for the sole reason of making someone else happy, instead of a painting that would be graded. She couldn’t remember a time she physically bought someone a present, homemade gifts just seemed more personal.

“I don’t know when your birthday is.” he stated, the realisation of not knowing everything about her dawning on him.

“January 23rd.” she said nonchalantly. It had passed already and she was grateful she got to spend it in Seattle, but she was excited to see how her 19th birthday would play out with the new relationships she had created in La Push.

“Noted.” Paul said she could tell he was smiling even with her back to him.

“Can I have his number now?” Tallulah asked.

“No. You can have Jareds.” He denied yet again, causing her to groan in frustration.

“But I don’t know Jared as well as Embry.” she argued back, which was true. Embry was the first pack member she had met and felt more comfortable with him than any other wolf. They were similar in a way. Both quiet in nature, yet willing to confront people when needed.

“And how well do you know Embry?” He asked. The question caused her to turn towards him. She knew he couldn’t help, his inner wolf was the issue here but it still annoyed her.

Tallulah groaned, “you’re so annoying when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.” he grumbled and she placed the towel on the counter and walked the few steps it took to get to his seat at the table.

“So give me his number then.” She challenged him.

“Fine” he said, scribbling out the ten digits on a sticky note from the pad he had laying on the table.

“Thank you, duckie.”  she grinned, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

---

Tallulah had messaged Embry the next day, asking him to meet her at the trailhead by her fathers house. He agreed without any hesitation, probably knowing she was going to do this with or without him, and that Paul would rip him a new one if he found out he let her go alone.

“I just need a couple reference photos.” she said, answering his question of why they were hiking up this specific trail. Embry had brought up when he arrived that Paul knew this trail just as well as he did, and she had to explain that he doesn’t know where she is at the moment. Leading into her explaining the birthday gift she was planning on giving him.

“And then you're going to paint them from that?” he asked for clarification.

“Yeah, it's just easier than lugging everything up here.” she explained.

“Makes sense. He doesn’t know at all?” the slight hint of concern in his voice made Tallulah laugh

“No, that's why you're here. And don't tell him,” she said sternly. The last thing she wanted was for his wolf to ruin the surprise.

He laughed, “I won't.”

“I gotta say, Tallulah, I don’t think Rachel would’ve in a million years done anything like this for him.” Embry said as he walked behind her, passing the half work mark of the trail up to the clearing.

“What do you mean?”

“She was all about the material things, you know, like flashy.” she looked back at him as he emphasised the word flashy, with a raised eyebrow. Paul was not flashy. He was bonfires and cookouts with friends and family, or laying in bed with his head on her chest listening to her heart beat until the morning sun forced them out of bed. Not once had he given her the impression he valued material things.

“Well, I don't have any money, this is the best that I’ve got.” she said, before adding, “Besides, he doesn’t have anything on his walls. It’s so boring.”

“Again, Rachels doing.” He said, helping the younger girl over a fallen tree, “That's why we all like you with him better.”

“You do?” she asked, and although she would never say it out loud, she appreciated what he was saying to her. Their age difference and lack of life experience on her end was an insecurity she would never vocalise. She felt like they were such different people who just happened to mesh well together, but when alone, no one would ever suspect they would be together long. Not that they really had a choice.

“Yeah, I mean, when he was with Rachel. He did what she wanted because it was just easier for him to do what she said, even if it made him miserable. You’ve never asked him to do something you knew wouldn’t make him happy, right?”

Tallulah shrugged, “I asked for your phone number. He wasn’t impressed by that.”

“Your intentions were good though.” he countered.

“I guess so..” she said, though she knew she would be upset if he had asked one of her friends for their numbers ominously and refused to explain why.

Entering into the clearing, she walked straight to the picnic table that was in the same spot they had left it in. she knew exactly the picture she wanted to paint, she just had to get the right angle and lighting

They sat in silence as Tallulah took the pictures she needed,some in different angles or with different exposure until she had what she was looking for. Even standing on top of the picnic table her and Paul had shared their first kiss, to capture the right landscape.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Embry?” she asked, changing the topic from the previous one. Looking at the photos she had taken absentmindedly. From what she knew, he didn’t have an imprint of his own. 

“No. It’s too complicated.” he said, resting his elbow on the picnic table to lean his head on his hand.

“What do you mean?” she questioned, the wolf thing could be complicated but not if it was someone within the tribe who knew the stories. 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, you know? Like one minute you're in love with someone, knowing they're not your imprint, and next you see her and your entire view changes to just see that one person. I don’t think I could do that to someone.” Embry explained.

“That seems quite lonely.” Talllah muttered quietly, she wondered if Paul felt any remorse the day he had imprinted on her. Having been with Rachel for so long, even if they were on and off, they probably had made many future plans that would never pan out due to her arrival in La Push.

“Sometimes, but at least I'm not hurting anyone.” he said, the slightest bit of optimism in his voice.

Taglist: @cperry0516 , @bhasbhabiessss, @fuzzyfingersandcavier @haventdecidedyet @alwayshave-faith @emmettcullenswife @kingniazx @sorrow-and-bliss@swidkid

[whumpingcrow]

Pt.21 "The 'Welcome Home' Committee"

CW: nightmares/PTSD/flashbacks, dehumanizing language/themes, collar mention, aftermath of emotional abuse/gaslighting, tourettes/ticcing, self deprecating whumpee, drugs/alcohol (explicit), discussion of past noncon/dubcon, whumpee expecting noncon/dubcon, injury/blood mention, brief sensory deprivation mention, food mention (let me know if I missed anything!)

Tyson was holding Elias close against him in their shared bed, mind almost entirely occupied with the thought of how happy he was that Elias was home safe. He couldn't be sure, but it looked like he was enjoying the way Tyson was stroking down his back gently, his body arching into the touch. Tyson watched with interest, trying to tell if he was aware of his reaction, if he was asleep. It didn't matter, he decided, he had his Elias in his arms, twitching and stirring and alive, so it didn't matter if he was awake and aware or not. Tyson was observing him closely for any signs of a nightmare just in case he was asleep, but the last time he saw him have one it wasn't evident until he woke up, gasping and searching the dark for a threat, so he was sure he wouldn't be able to tell until it was too late. When he wasn't keeping a watchful eye on Elias, he shifted his focus between the bedroom door and the window, paying extra close attention to any car or person that passed by.

Tyson was ready this time, the doors were locked and the hall light was on, he had a baseball bat hung up on the door. Elias had to feel safe, he would show him that it was ok to be home, that Tyson really wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him, not again.

Still, even with all of the new safety precautions, it wasn't too long after the sun started to rise that Elias bolted out of Tyson's arms and out of bed, his shoulders hitting the wall hard as he stumbled into the corner.

"No! No, no, no! Please God, please!" He cried, arms wrapped around his shaking body as he slowly slid down to the floor, anguished sobs retching him forward. "I'll be g-good! I'll be good!"

"Elias!" Tyson rushed, hopping out of bed and approaching him carefully. "It's ok, you're ok!"

"I told them no! P-please, don't h-hurt me please!!" He had his eyes squeezed shut, arms pulling his legs to his chest to protect his body. Tyson watched him flinch away from injuring hands that were only there in his imagination. Tyson hadn't even tried to touch him yet. "I swear I'll be better!"

"Baby, listen to me," he tried, dropping his voice low to try and counteract Elias's hysteria, "it's me, it's Tyson. No one's gonna hurt you."

Elias shook his head furiously, ducking away further into the corner. He was sobbing and begging incoherently now, his panic manifesting into cries of "please, please d-dont, I'm so sorry, please!" and the like.

Tyson had an idea of what to say to try and calm Elias, but even thinking the words made him bitter. When Allen had first gotten back from August, Tyson and Leo had to adopt some of his heinous language in order to keep Allen calm. Tyson remembered how quickly it worked, how it could make Allen drop his hysteria in only moments. They used it only when they had exhausted all other options, because both Leo and Tyson were upset at how much it felt like speaking to a dog. But it was different with Elias, Tyson couldn't encourage him to stay in the same mindset he'd been forced into, so he wouldn't use the same language August used, he refused to. He tried again, in his own way. "Eli, everything's ok. Look at me, please."

"I c-c-cant!" He sobbed again, thrown back into hysterics. "I won't, August! I'll be good!"

Tyson wanted to put a hole through the wall. Fucking August. He broke Elias, he made him unable to sleep through the night, made him too scared to remember Tyson. It was repulsive, to see the aftermath of such a monster on the person he loved. He thought back to Allen, how fast he was able to calm down at those two, dangerously sweet words. But would Elias even react the same? What if it just made it worse? All of those fears and more ran rampant through his head, but he was running out of options, and Elias wasn't calming down, so he really didn't have another choice.

"Angel," he murmured, extending his hand slowly, trying to coax him to open up a bit, "you're alright. You're...you're a good boy, Eli."

It worked like a charm, and Tyson cringed at the effectiveness. Elias relaxed, uncrossing his arms and leaning forward. He looked so scared still, head turned to the side so he wasn't looking at Tyson, inching out of the corner slowly. His ragged breathing was evening out a little at a time. "I...I...?"

"Yeah, there you go. Good." He smiled softly at Elias in the pale blue morning sun, moving to lean against the wall with him. He was relieved when Elias rested his head against his shoulder, sighing deeply as he did. Tyson looped his fingers around his thigh, squeezing gently. "I've got you, darling."

Elias whimpered, ticcing in small twitches against Tyson. "I'm s-sorry." He breathed, muted by his guilt, barely audible.

"No, don't be, Elias. Are you ok now? Are you back with me?"

"I think so." As he spoke, he turned to look up at Tyson, blinking hard to clear the tears from his eyes. "Hm...Ty." He breathed. "My Tyson."

"Yeah. Yeah, love, that's right." He searched Elias's face for a moment, taking in the remnants of fear leftover from his nightmare. "Do you...you wanna talk about it?"

Elias didn't say anything for a long time, looking away from Tyson and instead out the window as he pondered the question. It was windy, the palm trees just outside were swaying against the breeze. He realized that it must've been early morning, and a twinge of guilt for waking Tyson up like that hit him. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about it, about August or the strangers or the pain. But Tyson deserved to know, and he was asking like maybe he wanted to hear what happened. So Elias turned his attention back to Tyson and started talking.

"I don't understand what I did wrong. I don't know why he stopped… pretending to care about me." The weight of the sentence made him feel tired all over again, and he was frightened to be admitting to his confusion. He was an idiot, to not even know what he did to be punished. He knew that it was well deserved, but that's about where the understanding stopped. "I mean...I know I messed up somehow, but I can't remember what I did. He just stopped c-caring."

"You didn't do anything, Eli. It was all him."

"No...Ty, he cared about me, at least a little. He went through all that trouble to...how could I not be good enough for him? What does that say about me?"

"It says that you're too good for a scumbag like that. Maybe he just finally realized that."

Elias froze. He didn't believe it, of course, but the words made something glimmer behind his tears. "Too...too good?"

"Yes, love," Tyson cooed softly, taking his hand, "he knew that people like him don't deserve good people like you. He must've just dropped the facade."

"So who am I...Am I good enough for you? Not too good?" His voice was desperate, borderline hopeful, if Tyson dared to believe that.

"Mhm. You're perfect." He chuckled softly, squeezing his hand ever so gently. "And I want you so badly. Good or not."

Elias finally broke a smile, a genuine, almost carefree, grin as he looked up at Tyson in adoration. He was still shaking, but his breathing was back to normal and he felt more grounded. Usually August would force him to ride out the fear from the nightmares on his own, then punish him later for keeping him awake with his whimpering. "Sorry I woke you up like that." He added it, just for good measure, because Tyson didn't hurt him, he wouldn't, but he was still nervous. He wondered when that would stop.

"You didn't, baby. Besides, it's morning anyway." He stood up, pulling Elias up with him. "Also uh...Allen's been asking about you. If you're ok with it he wanted to come check on you later."

"T...today?" He mumbled, sinking back onto the mattress and watching Tyson pick a shirt out from the closet.

"You can get settled in first, I don't want to overwhelm you-"

Elias could laugh. Settle in, what a joke. Ten months in France made this place he used to call home feel distant and strange, how could he possibly settle in? "Today's fine. I just wanna...wanna wake up and stuff first."

"You sure? You've only been home a day."

"I'm sure," he smiled at him to really sell it, and Tyson nodded approvingly.

Elias washed the dishes as they waited for Allen to show up, Tyson was tidying up in the other room. Supposedly Leo was coming too, and Elias was heavy with fear. He'd be sent away before they got there, surely, given substances to shut him up. Or maybe Tyson would allow Elias to be used, maybe he'd watch.

Elias was afraid at the dreadful excitement he felt at the idea. He was sick to his stomach with anxiety at the possibility of something like that happening, but he couldn't see past the obsessive need to be touched, to be used. He finished the dishes, ducking off to the bathroom to make sure he looked ok. His pale hair curled into small waves in front of his face, it felt unnatural to not find any dried blood in it. His wide eyes and flushed face were still tainted with injuries, but there was nothing he could do about it besides wait for them to heal. Besides, the people who used him usually liked him bruised up anyways, they usually kissed his injuries with patronizing softness or pressed on his bruises to watch him squirm. He fixed his shirt, then realized all at once that he was too sober for this, that he couldn't be used this aware. Couldn't be good. He began to frantically search through the cabinets for anything that might make him feel better, pills or even mouthwash. His eyes fell onto a pill bottle on the top shelf of the mirror, his hands fumbled over it quickly. Tiny, colorful pills spilled into his hands, it was recognizably molly. He didn't know why Tyson had it, but it was August's favorite to give Elias, and so he knew it well. He threw two pills back, chasing them with water from the sink, and then returned the bottle back to its spot. After he started to feel it just a little, he looked back into the mirror and fixed himself up a little more, forcing a smile at his reflection, just to see how it looked. Something was off, he didn't look right, he was worried that if he looked anything less than what he was used to, he would fall apart. The ground dropped from under him just a little when he realized what it was: his bare neck. He needed his collar, people were coming, he had to have it. Fucking stupid, he thought, spent months wishing you could take that thing off and now you suddenly want it again? Stupid fucking idiot.

In one of the drawers he found a silver chain, he inspected the little pendant dangling on the end, at the way the blue jewel in the middle caught the light when he turned it. He almost wanted to put it back, it was too nice for him, but he decided that it was better than nothing. He slipped it over his head, it was loose, but it would work fine. He looked so much better already.

"Elias, you ok in there?" Tyson was asking from the hallway. His voice was tight with anxiety and Elias instantly reached for the door handle and stepped out.

"I'm ok," he smiled at him, his grin lopsided so that his chipped tooth was showing just a little. "I was just getting ready."

Tyson tilted his head at him, smiling softly. "You look nice. How do you feel?"

Elias offered a lighthearted shrug, shuffling forward and standing up on his toes to kiss Tyson's nose softly. "M'ok. I cleaned the kitchen."

"I saw!" He took Elias's hand in his own and pulled him closer. "Thank you, for that. Very helpful."

Elias beamed at the praise, and Tyson was reminded again of Allen, how he lit up like a damn Christmas tree when someone said anything close to a compliment or approval, and it was quickly becoming evident that Elias was going to be the same. It was disgustingly cute how reactive they both were, how their lips twitched into a sick smile, their eyes fluttered helplessly. So beautiful, so tragic. He got this way through horrible mistreatment and brainwashing violence, but he looked so genuinely ecstatic that Tyson wasn't sure if he ever wanted to stop.

"Uh...they're waiting outside. We can let them in when you feel ready."

Elias took a breath, forcing himself to nod. He reminded himself to keep his composure, allow himself to be movable and soft and pretty. He was trembling all over, in excitement or fear he wasn't sure. Tyson rubbed his shoulder gently, still giving him a moment. When Elias finally seemed to come to terms with being around other people, he looked nervous all over again, but this time with a hint of eagerness behind his eyes. Tyson wondered how often he was allowed to see other people when he was with August. He said that August had kept him hidden away, but what exactly did that entail? When Allen was with him, he came back not used to light or sound because August had been keeping him depraved of those luxuries. Elias didn't seem like that though, he just seemed...skittish, too vigilant and too self hating to be around others. He spoke and carried himself like he knew he was less than them, and it bothered him just to be near them. And yet, at the same time, he looked exhilarated at the idea of putting himself into that position at any second. Finally, he looked up at Tyson with a wavering smile and nodded at him to tell him he was ready.

Allen looked way too good, Elias was completely baffled at how healed he seemed, like nothing had ever been wrong with him. How had he been with August and healed, how was he not broken forever? Elias didn't think he would ever be able to get there himself, all of this damage was irreversible, he couldn't imagine himself with a flushed, healthy face and a carefree grin. Or an ability to walk into a room with seemingly no issues or qualms, just existing. How could he do that?

He was also the first person to talk to Elias, which made him a little breathless at how unexpected it was. He stayed far enough away when he waved at him, politely saying "hey, Elias, how are you doing?"

Elias flinched, looking to Tyson for permission to speak, but he was given only a glance, and he was left confused and too scared to answer. Instead he just nodded his head once as a response. He looked down to see his knees were visibly wobbling, he didn't realize he was also squeezing his hands into tight fists at his sides. He couldn't force himself to relax, even though he wanted to, the molly in his system felt like metal in his veins, forcing him rigid and stiff.

Tyson quickly realized that Elias was more overwhelmed than he had hoped for, that all of his promises that he would be ok and he was sure they could come were quickly falling apart. He was standing so straight, like he'd collapse in on himself if he let his muscles relax at all. His legs were shaking with the effort of standing, Tyson wanted to scoop him up and hold him close to his chest, take away the strain of being upright, relieve him in any way he could.

"How are you settling in, pal?" Leo asked him, watching his head drop down instantly as he was addressed. He inched toward Tyson just a little, glancing up at him yet again. This time, Tyson caught his eye and realized what the look was about.

"It's ok," he whispered, rubbing his shoulder gently to reassure him, "it's alright, Eli, you can talk to them."

Elias was thankful for the permission to speak, he wanted to interact with them so bad he was buzzing, he wanted to speak to them and be heard and acknowledged. It had been so long since he'd been around people who understood him, who he could have conversation with. He worried for a split second that he might've forgotten how. "It's different. France is very different."

Leo chuckled at that, nodding his head. "Yeah, I would imagine. It's beautiful though, I hear."

Elias nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, the beach is my favorite."

Tyson was smiling at him, at how eager he was to speak, how even though he had been through hell there, he still found something beautiful in it. Elias had been trapped with August and made to do awful things that Tyson wasn't even sure the extent of yet, and still he had picked out a favorite place.

"Well I hope you didn't get too used to the food there, cause you'll have to deal with my cooking tonight." He smiled teasingly, and once Elias heard Tyson laughing, he realized it was a joke. Someone was joking with him, like an actual person. He smiled brightly at him, shaking his head.

He didn't have a response though, smiling at him seemed to be enough. Leo followed Tyson into the kitchen, leaving Allen and Elias to be alone in the living room. Allen had sat down on the couch, and Elias occasionally looked up from his spot in the center of the room, wondering if he was supposed to follow Ty. It seemed too late now, and besides, he knew in the back of his mind that he belonged here, to be observed as a centerpiece, touched if anyone felt the need for it. He wondered if, he hoped that, Allen felt the need for it. Or anyone at all, really.

"Wanna come sit with me, Elias?" Allen checked suddenly, watching as Elias straightened up to look at him, eyes wide. He quickly nodded before stumbling over to the couch, hesitating a moment before sinking down to the floor on his knees. Allen looked rather bewildered at the motion, his face flushed and mouth parted in surprise. The movement was familiar to Allen (August was consistent, he'd give him that), but it was shocking to see it from this perspective, made him want to push Elias out of the way and take his place. It took him a good thirty seconds to gather his thoughts, and when he did he felt sick to his stomach as he looked into Elias's fearful puppy dog eyes. "Oh...you don't have to..." He started to choke out.

Tyson froze when he came into the living room to see Elias like that, down on his knees with his head bowed pathetically, right in front of a flustered, uneasy looking Allen. They'd only been gone for five minutes, what had caused this? He may have grabbed Elias's shoulders a little too hard when he hoisted him back upright, causing a confused mewl to escape his throat.

"Don't sit down there like that, Eli," he scolded, "you sit on the couch, like everyone else."

"B...but I..." Elias shook his head in weak protest before shutting himself up, cringing at the stern look on Tyson's face. He was frustrated, if they wanted him on the couch why didn't they say so? Why did they want to confuse him so much? Was it to make him fail, make him easier to punish?

Tyson nodded at him once, turning and making his way reluctantly back to the kitchen. Elias huffed to himself, his shoulders drooping sadly.

"Hey," Allen said softly, grabbing his thigh gently, "it's ok. I remember when I got back I didn't use furniture for weeks. Tyson knows better now, he won't let you do that."

Elias looked at the hand on his leg. Thank God, he thought. He smiled softly at Allen, nodding along to his voice. So that was it, then, Tyson wanted him on the couch. He could look pretty on the couch, August sometimes enjoyed that.

"I know Tyson can get a little...upset, sometimes, but he means well. He just gets discouraged when he can't help."

Elias nodded eagerly again, eyes still on Allen's hand on him. Was his hand tight, or was he just imagining it? It was warm, it fit comfortably around him, and Elias found himself leaning against his arm in response to it. "Thank you," he whispered, "you've always been so kind to me."

"Well of course. What you're going through it's...well, kindness is definitely something you could use right now." Allen was smiling at him, in a way that no one had smiled at him in a long time. It was pure and friendly, not malicious or dangerous or full of lust. It was foreign, it made his chest feel hollow and sad. He didn't deserve to be looked at with such fondness. He would have ran and hid, if the smile didn't also make him feel so nice and warm all over. That made him even more upset, he didn't want to like it, not when he wasn't supposed to be receiving it in the first place. That was like enjoying a gift that had someone else's name on it, and he felt guilty for it.

Allen must've noticed his anxiety, and he pulled his hand away slowly, fingers slipping off his leg one at a time. Elias looked away from him entirely. He wanted to be back on the floor, he wanted his collar, he wanted to be hurt or touched, he wanted to be higher than he was. Most of all, he wanted to know what the hell everyone around here was expecting of him. August had rules, and even outside of those rules, Elias had gotten pretty good at reading his body language so he could guess what August wanted from him. Here was so different, he didn't know what was and wasn't allowed, he didn't know what Allen wanted from him when he grabbed his leg, or what Tyson wanted when he randomly left the room without a word to him. It was all so jumbled, made Elias feel so lost. The molly made it easier for Elias to speak, to listen, but he was still miserable and confused.

"What's wrong, Elias?" Allen asked in a hushed voice, like their conversation was ultra secret, like Leo and Tyson weren't allowed to know that it was taking place.

"It's just hard." He whispered back, folding his hands neatly in his lap. "I don't know what anyone wants anymore. When I try to guess I just look fu-fucking stupid. It's confusing."

"Have you tried asking?"

Elias gawked up at him, like the idea was bizarre. "Asking...?"

"Yeah. If you're not sure, just ask." He said this like it was simple, it couldn't go wrong. "Try it, ask me what I want."

Elias blinked at him, clearly bewildered. "Uh...wh-what do you...want?"

Allen smiled at him, nodding approvingly. "Right now, I want to sit on the couch and talk to you, and I also want dinner, but I'm waiting for it to be finished."

"O...oh." Elias breathed, looking back down at his hands. He guessed that was easy enough, the world didn't crumble around him. He couldn't hide his amazement, he couldn't believe Allen could easily say he wanted things, he must've not been taught that it was against the rules. Or maybe it was just something he outgrew, once he was away from August. Elias didn't think he'd ever outgrow it.

"What about you? What do you want?"

The confused, almost mangled, whimper Elias let out was telling enough, Allen wasn't supposed to ask him that. He was only just now realizing that it was ok to ask others that question, he obviously wasn't ready to answer it.

"Oh I don't... I c-cant..." He stammered, shaking his head vigorously. This was a test, one he could pass. He knew better than to say he wanted anything, he'd been proving that since he came back. He remembered when he accidentally begged Tyson to touch him, using the word 'need'. He must've told Allen, and now Allen was trying to get him to slip up again. He wouldn't, he would be good. He could be a mindless pet with no wants or needs.

"It's ok," Allen reassured him, his hand was on his thigh again, this time a little higher, "you don't have to answer. I get it."

Elias was breathless, he couldn't tell if it was from the question or Allen touching him, but he couldn't seem to breathe deep enough. He couldn't have wants, but still, the warm palm on his leg was enough to make him tremble. If he were allowed to want, he would want someone to lay him down and touch him everywhere, make him feel good because he hadn't felt good in so long, stroke his hair, call him 'good pet', call him 'bunny', tell him he was beautiful and perfect. If he were allowed to want, he would want that so bad it would make him cry.

"Shit, Elias, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Allen was rushing. Elias's cheeks were wet with his tears, his face was blank and sheet white. Tyson must've heard the commotion, and it wasn't long before he was in front of him, kneeling down to be at his level.

"Hey, Eli, what's going on, love?" He asked him gently, his hands on his shoulders. They weren't grabbing him as tightly now as when he put him on the couch. "Why are you crying?"

Elias wiped his face, shaking his head quickly. "I'm s-sorry!" He whined. "I don't know I j...just..."

Tyson shook his head dismissively, pulling Elias against his chest and rubbing his back. "It's ok. Everything's ok." Tyson held him close as his shoulders shook, allowing him to tire himself out a little. Once he seemed calm, Tyson pulled away from him, stroking his cheek gently as he did. At some point Allen had gotten up and left them alone in the room together, and Elias couldn't help but feel a little relaxed that he wasn't around to watch him fuck up any more. "You alright?"

Elias nodded, sniffling miserably. "I'm sorry."

"No worries, love. Go ahead and get cleaned up, dinner's done."

Elias obeyed instantly, standing up and heading to the bathroom wordlessly. He looked so rough around the edges, washed out from crying and in desperate need of an actual good nights sleep. He debated skipping dinner and going to lie down instead, but then he remembered how much he ached to talk to everyone, be around them, so he changed his mind. He never again wanted to be alone in a separate room when there were people around, it wasn't ever an enjoyable experience. Once he was decidedly more put together, he joined everyone back in the kitchen, setting himself in a chair between Tyson and Leo, mouth glued shut and eyes focused on the plate of food in front of him.

[davidsons89]

Toxic Turner - part 6

WARNINGS: this story contains signs of a toxic and manipulative relationship. also contains smut, mentions of drugs and alcohol. some scenes contain forms of abuse. read at ur own risk :)

more days passed, you two were going strong without any arguments occurring. that was until alex made a comment about something completely irrelevant, causing a heated argument between one another.  "i was fucking kidding, y/n" alex yells at you, trying to calm you down as you're stood angrily in the kitchen lashing out at him. "shut the fuck up alex" you yell back at him. he said something to deeply offend you, one of your insecurities. "calm the fuck down i was joking" he says, sliding his hands around your waist to pull you close to him but you raise your eyebrows and frown in disgust as you harshly shove him away, causing him to tremble back.  he gives you a look of warning before he started yelling again.

"don't fucking touch me, asshole" you yell at him and shove him again, this only made him angry. "watch your dirty little mouth" he yells, tightly grabbing your upper arms to pin you against the nearest wall. "or what?" you say, trying to not come off as weak. you've had enough of his shit. "or what?" he laughed to mock you. "i'll fucking hurt you. now shut up and calm your ass down. it was a joke" he stops laughing immediately, talking in a serious tone as his hand gripped the back of your hair tightly. you winced at the feeling of him tugging at your roots.  he harshly lets go of you, pulling you away from the wall to shove you into the living room. he tells you to sit on the sofa and forget any of it even happened. you try to calm yourself down as you remain watching tv together, until he winds you up again.

he notices you scrolling on instagram on your phone, and sees you come across a photo of your sister and her boyfriend. "slut" he mutters, taking a sip of his beer bottle. "what did you just say?" you turn to him, shutting off your phone. he laughs and takes another sip. you yank the bottle from his mouth and force it down onto the coffee table, causing a little spillage on his clothes. he frowns his eyebrows and looks as the mess you've just made. "fuck you." you sigh, storming out of the living room, then exiting the entire house. you can't bare another minute with him, so you begin walking to your mom's house. it wasn't too far, maybe a 15 minute walk. it felt nice to get some fresh air without alex glued to your hip.

surprisingly, he didn't follow you. he doesn't usually let you go anywhere alone, but maybe he just felt generous. or hoped you'd come back. you didn't. you successfully made it to your mom's house without a single text from alex. you open the front door to the house and step in, making your way to the living room.

"hey" your sister says. she appears to be alone. "where is everyone?" you ask, nosing around the room to see nobody else. "shopping" your sister says as she's eating a family sized bag of popcorn to herself. you chuckle and sit down next to her. "what's wrong? you seem upset" she frowns at you as she notices a sad glare in your eyes. she's your sister, of course she can tell when something's up.  "nothing just.. alex" you sigh, fumbling with your fingers in your lap. you're prepared to talk about him, as long as it stays confidential.

"wanna talk about it?" she asks, placing another piece of popcorn in her mouth. you shrug and pull a confused face. you promised alex you'd never say anything to your family, but you had to let it out somehow. "he's just.. mean.. sometimes" you tremble. you don't know how to word it. "meaning?" she frowns in wonder.  "he's just angry like... all the time. he's kinda controlling but-" you begin. "woah what? he doesn't hit you, right?" she cuts you off with wide eyes. she was prepared to kill him if he touched you.

"no" you chuckle nervously. "i like the dominance i guess.. he just takes it too far." you shrug. you talk a bit more to your sister on how alex treats you. you don't share every detail, you didn't want her to think he was batshit crazy after all. you talk and talk until the front door opens a bit later.  you thought it would just be your mom arriving home, but it was too soon for her to be back. before you know it, alex walks into the living room. you sigh.

"get up" he says. you ignore him. "what do you want?" your sister asks as she's comforting you. "don't start. you, come on" alex scoffed, then pointing at you to go with him. your sister forces you to stay seated. "she doesn't want to see you, al." your sister stood up to him, facing him directly. he sighs and rolls his eyes at her. "i don't care" he says, lightly shoving your sister out the way to grab your hand and pull you up.

"don't push her" you say to alex who'd just shoved your sister aside. "i hardly touched her.. come on" alex says, yanking you away harshly and pulling you towards the door, not even giving you a choice to leave.  "alex, stop" you say, tugging back to try to stop him from pulling you out of your mom's house. luckily she wasn't there, otherwise she probably would've beaten his ass.

"get the fuck in the car" he angrily demands, forcing you into the passenger seat after exiting the house. he closes your door as your sister comes to the car, yelling at alex. the passenger door is closed, so you can't fully understand what they're saying. their yells are mumbled, you just frown as you watch the two fight back and forth.

alex walks to the drivers seat, opens his car door and yells "whatever" to your sister before closing the car door and he began driving away. "what did you say to her?" you quietly ask. he ignores you, so you turn to look at him. his expressions were angry. you sighed to yourself and looked away. you were both silent for a few more minutes until alex decided to speak.  "what did you say to her?" alex sternly asks your question, trying to remain calm before lashing out at you. "what makes you think i said anything?" you speak nervously. "by the way your sister greeted me?" alex scoffs with sarcasm, making you feel stupid by his tone of voice.

"i didn't say anything" you sadly frown, looking down at your lap, playing with your fingers to distract yourself. "you're lying" he shook his head as he lit up a cigarette whilst at a stop light. he began smoking it, and as he exhaled, the smoke blew into your face. you roll your eyes brush the smoke away with your hand.  "don't be such a pussy" he laughed at you. you ignore him and continue brushing the smoke away.

"if you told her anything about me i'll hurt you" alex said, looking at the road as he drove. you furrow your eyebrows and turn to look at the side of his face. "you'll hurt me?" you ask. he slowly nods his head without looking at you. he brings the cigarette up to his lips and inhaled, soon exhaling and blowing the smoke into your face again. you sighed and relaxed in your seat until you got home.

you both bickered back and forth for the rest of the journey, until you parked right outside your house.  you storm out of the car and head into the house. he finishes smoking his cigarette before throwing it on the floor, entering the house to close and lock the door behind him. alex calmed down for at least 20 minutes before deciding to speak to you. you were in the kitchen washing the dirty dishes from the day before. alex approached the fridge to grab a can of beer.

"of course" you mumble to yourself. "what did you just say?" he asks, standing next to you and sternly looking at the side of your face as you're stood in front of the sink. you ignore him. "i said what did you just fucking say?" he asks, forcefully grabbing a fistful of your hair, tugging it backwards to make you look at him. you gasped. "i.. said of course" you frowned at him. he scoffs with a laugh as he lets go of your hair aggressively.  "i'm not allowed to drink now?" he asks, letting go of your hair, cracking open his can of beer and taking a sip. "yes but.. drinking makes you an even bigger asshole than you are when you're sober" you roll your eyes, continuing to wash the dishes.

his behavior was nothing new to you, so you just let it fly past your head. it was a sign that you chose to ignore. “you're funny" he chuckled, shaking his head at you. you sarcastically mock his laugh. "i'm not joking" you roll your eyes, immediately being serious again. "oh you're so full of jokes today aren't you." he says sternly. he stopped laughing and turned serious too. you giggle to yourself as he places his can on the kitchen counter and grabs your arms, twisting you around to get a good look at you.

"what did you say to your sister?" he asks in a deeply angry and serious tone of voice. "i didn't say anything, jesus" you say, trying to get out of his grip but you were defenseless at this point. "i'll ask you one more time" he raises his eyebrows to give you an evil glare. you sigh and roll your eyes, briefly turning your head away, making him grab your chin with his hand to pull you back. "i cant stand her anyway. your entire family are cunts. they don't love you like i do" he said manipulatively, staring into your eyes as he spoke. his words made you gulp, making you anxious.

"i just said that.. you're mean sometimes. and.. you're controlling" you innocently stammer, trying to avoid eye contact but each time you looked away he'd pull your chin back. "good" he fakes a grin. you frown in confusion. "i am in control of you. you can't change that" he powerfully whispers in your ear as he moved closer to you, leaving your cheek with a kiss before shoving you out of his grip.

he picks up his beer can and takes a sip whilst walking away. you sigh and shake your head at yourself. you liked it but you didn't know why. you shouldn't. after finishing up with the dirty, now clean dishes, you walk into the living room and sit next to alex, hoping to put this all aside, but he doesn't let things go easily.

you see him take a sip out of his beer, he still looks angry. "are you still mad?" you ask innocently. "you always make me mad" he sighs, continuing to take another sip. you ignore him and sigh, playing with your petite fingers in your lap.  "stop it" he says, putting his drink down to grab your hand. he pulls you closer to him so that you're practically snuggling on the sofa. "i know you do that when you're nervous. why're you nervous?" he asks, changing his mood entirely. he was angry, now he's comforting you.

"you make me nervous sometimes" you roll your eyes in embarrassment. you shouldn't feel intimidated by your significant other. "why?" he asks, wanting to know truly. "you're a bit too dominant sometimes" you shrug. he chuckles a bit, shifting forward on the sofa. he grabs both of your cheeks with his hands and looks into your eyes. you put your hands on his wrists as he holds your face. "and i know you like it" he whispers, winking at you as he moves one of his hands to lightly slap your cheek twice. it's a reassurance thing.

he giggles and stands up, walking upstairs while taking his beer can with him. you watch him walk away with mild butterflies floating around in your belly. you were tempted to join him, only that would either result in heated sex or another petty argument. do you really want to risk it?

[brelione]

Just Wanna Be Happy (Pope HeywardxReader)

Warnings:Mentions of self harm,depression,medication,suicide.Please do not read if youre triggered by these topics.This wasnt written to glamorize mental illness this is kind of just my coping mechanism because I just got out of a depressing period.Depression effects people differently but this fanfic has ways that its effected me so yeah.

You had never been a very social person.Or a friendly person or even a happy person.You kind of just existed without purpose or reason.Its not like you didnt want to be happy because of course you did.It just wasnt something that could come naturally to you in your everyday life.It was summer and you had hardly left your house at all.Most time was spent in your room.It had been days since you had showered or brushed your hair or even changed your clothes.You hadnt done you laundry in weeks or eaten a proper meal in days.You were an absolute mess since you had stopped taking your medication.You didnt know why but you just couldnt bring yourself to take them anymore.You felt guilty for not replying to any of your friends messages.

“Hey :) do you wanna hang out with us tomorrow?”Read Tuesday 9:48 PM. “Hey have you been taking your meds?Your mom wanted me to check up on you :)”Read at 1:48 PM today.

Your mom was staying with family in California this summer to work on a book.She would transfer ten dollars to your bank account everyday.You hadnt spent any of it.She had sent you countless texts to ask how you were doing or if you had gotten your refill.Your skin was dull from not seeing the sun,the hair on your legs had grown long and prickly and you smelt like absolute shit.You heard a knock at your door,the sound echoing through your empty house.You worked up the strength to get up,dragging your feet as you walked.You felt dizzy and nauseous as you walked,couldnt even feel your feet touching the ground.Your kitchen was an absolute mess,frying pan with maple syrup stuck to it and the sink full of dirty smelling dishes.You opened the door,blocking your eyes from the sun to see Pope.

He let out a sigh of relief,pulling you into a hug. “God (Y/N)!You cant do that!Jesus,I thought you died.”He sighed,squeezing you tightly.You didnt bother hugging back,letting your head rest against him. “I was getting worried about you-its been like two weeks since you’ve talked to me.”He grumbled,pulling away from the hug and observing your face.You had a couple of pimples across your forehead from not washing your face,your skin was splotchy and your eyes puffy. “Have you been taking your meds?”He asked.You didnt answer,watching as he walked over to the cabinet to pull out the orange pill bottle.It was still half full.He looked at the date that it was supposed to be refilled.Two days ago. “You have to take these every day!”He exclaimed.You sighed,not really caring.THis wasnt what you needed to hear right now.You didnt exactly know what you needed to hear but that was definitely not it.

 “When was the last time you showered?”He asked.You shrugged,not remembering.All the days had merged together.You slept a lot even when you didnt need it.The only time you really got up was to use the bathroom or vomit into your trash bin. “And the last time you ate?”He asked.You mumbled that you werent sure,embarrassed that someone had seen you in this state.He turned on your shower,letting the room get steamy from the hot water.He went into your messy room,making his way through the piles of crumpled paper and dirty clothing to your dresser.He grabbed you a new pair of underwear,a sportsbra,a loose t shirt and some comfy looking shorts.He assisted you in getting your hair out of the bun it was in,letting the snagglt knots loose. “I’m going to make you some food,okay?”You nodded.He closed the bathroom door.

You pulled off your dirty clothes,nearly gagging at the smell of yourself.You stepped into the shower,letting the burning hot water touch your back and head.You poured a fistfull of conditioner in your hair to try and help with the knots.You sat down,closing your eyes and letting the conditioner rinse out.You poured at least a fourth of the bottle of shampoo into your hair,scrubbing your scalp aggressively.You used the suds from the shampoo to wash under your arms and your back.You used the same suds in replacement of shaving cream to shave your legs only up to your knee.The water was going cold but you didnt care,laying down and letting the water smack your stomach.Pope knocked at the door before opening it. “(Y/N)?You okay?”He asked.You sat up,eyes still shut as you turned off the water. “I made you some frozen waffles.”He informed you before closing the door again.

You waited until all of the water went down the drain until you stood up,slowly stepping onto the bath mat.At least you didnt smell so disgusting now.What really worried you was brushing your hair out mostly because you knew it would hurt and half your hair would most likely fall out.You grabbed a towel,rubbing down your body.You had some faded scars on your thighs and calves but none on your wrist.Mainly because you knew no one would check your legs.It had been five months since you harmed yourself and you were proud.You probably would’ve relapsed eventually if you were even able to work up the energy to do it.You groaned as you saw the pimples on your face,grabbing your face wash that you hadnt used in so long.You scrubbed your face,rinsing the soap off and patting your skin dry.

You looked back up at the mirror.You could barely recognize yourself.You looked like a deformed radiation exposed raccoon.You saw the clothes Pope had picked for you,pulling them on over your damp skin.You slowly brushed your teeth,blood leaking from your gums as you did so.You dragged yourself out of the bathroom,the cold air of the kitchen hitting you.Pope wa sitting at your kitchen table.A plate of eggos sat on a paper plate,a cup of water sitting in front of it. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you later.”He offered as you sat down.You shook your head. “No...its fine.”You answered as you stared down at the plate. “You dont have anything to eat here.Let me go grocery shopping and cook for you.”He spoke softly,taking a pill from your prescription bottle and holding it in his palm.

 “Can you please eat so you can take this?”He asked.You took a bite of the eggo,wanting nothing more than to spit it out into the garbage.You chewed it to mush and swallowed,looking back at him. “Good.”He handed you the pill. “I dont want to take this.”You told him.He sighed,nodding. “I know,I know you dont but it’ll make you feel better.”He told you.You dipped your head back,dropping the pill in your mouth and sipping the water. “All I want is to be happy….why is that so much to ask for?”You grumbled,looking down at your cup.He reached out for your hand,rubbing his thumb along your palm. “You’ll be happy one day.If you take your medicine and make your environment better you’ll feel better.”He had probably read that bullshit in some book.You rolled your eyes. “What does that even mean?”You asked.You placed his hand over yours,tapping his nails against your fingertips. “Just let me take care of you until your mom gets back,alright?”He asked.You hummed,too tired to argue.

He grabbed your hairbrush and a bottle of detangler from your bathroom and got to work on your hair.It didnt hurt too bad and he was careful with your hair almost like it was precious gold. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”He asked.You shrugged but followed him to your living room.It was the one room besides your mothers that you hadnt completely fucked up.He went on Disney Plus and allowed you to flick through the titles until you found something you liked.You chose Inside Out.He grinned at you,kissing your forehead before disappearing into your room.He picked up the clothes off your floor and assumed they were dirty,tossing them into your washing machine.

He stuffed your trash bin full of all the paper and random trash on your floor.He grabbed the stacks of plates,forks and molding mugs from you floor and on top of your dresser.He did a load of dishes,switching your clothes from your washer to your dryer.You had fallen asleep on the couch with the movie still on.He made your bed for you,killing a few bugs that had been hiding under all of the trash.He called his dad. “Pope?You okay?” “mhm..yeah.Um...im gonna be away from home for a while.” “What-no the hell you’re not.” “Dad-” “No-what am I gonna do with all these grocery deliveries?” “Dad-Its (Y/N).” Silence. “Is she….uhh..” “No-no.She’s been off her meds and i think someones gotta be here to take care of her while her moms out of town.” “Alright...just be careful with her.”The call ended.Pope sighed as he looked at your room.It was much much cleaner now that he was done with it.

He sat down on the couch next to your sleeping figure,paying attention to the movie in front of him.You sat up tiredly,wrapping your arms around his torso and moving him so you could rest your head on his tummy. “I think thats whats happening to me.”You spoke,gesturing to the TV.Joy and Sadness had just left the headquarters which left only fear,anger and disgust.He nodded,understanding what you were trying to tell him. “Maybe.”He replied.You sighed,tracing circles onto his skin through his shirt. “I wanna learn how to be happy...it might take a while but I just wanna be happy,you know?”You asked.He hummed,moving his arms so he was holding you. “I’ll help anyway I can.”He promised,stroking your hair lightly.

[morgannwilsonnn]

Chapters

I would be lying if i said i wasn't scared to start college in 12 day's. Even typing it makes me anxious, i don't think i have ever seen my own true potential in anything i have ever done. my doubt's and my fear's of what if have always held me back in some way and what is embarrassing is the fact that i have allowed it to become so normal that it has taken so much from me, it has degraded me made me feel like i wasn't worthy or smart enough or even capable.

See i didn't even finish highschool i got my GED after having my daughter at 16, i was the athlete everyone thought would make it but it was a shocker to them after that no one believed in me and i had a fire under my ass to prove them wrong even with a GED but then i dropped out of college and life happened i needed a job and a roof and from there i just got comfortable in what i did but even then it didn't feel like i was where i was meant to be. sitting behind a desk forever living life just enough to get by but never enough to do the things i wanted with my daughter. I looked for new job's with no luck and it made me feel even worse not good enough i felt stuck but i kept trying and even praying that this life wasn't what was meant for the rest of my life i somehow had to get out of the cycle and beat the statics of a single mom working 9-5 living on state for the rest of her life... then i got fired and lost my car almost lost my home i started busing tables even tho it wasn't nearly enough to pay all my bills i took turn running late on one or the other just to make it. Then i found i new job making 19 a hour but my first two days over whelmed me i didn't understand shit and how could i set myself up for failure i didn't believe in myself so i quit and went back to busing tables got pregnant had health issues and became a stay at home mom for going on two years now.

my life summed up over the last four years of my life.

being a stay at home mom has taught me alot about myself tho mainly that it is not easy and you fall into dark cracks sometimes so dark you're scared that you'll never resurface the cries become tuned out you forget that outside is even a place you cant help but cry as you wash dishes with no thoughts other then just feeling sad. you wonder if your kids would be better off without you because you feel guilty for being so comfortable with the feeling of frustration. but then you resurface and come back and say you wont go back but its like someone with a drug or alcoholic addiction you are bound to relapse back and it only gets worse but you hide it better each time you cry in the shower or when the kids are napping you sit up restless because your mind races. you start to feel like you have nothing to offer you completely forget your worth and what you can do your potential.

BUT everytime i tried to find a solution maybe i needed to set a goal to go out once a month or sit alone for a hour every day go to the gym go on a walk go shopping go to counseling and some how i still kept falling in between the cracks deeper and deeper.. i lost hope i wallowed that this was my life that i would never have my own life again but i had to love it because i loved my kids..

till one day i woke up and realized this person i have became over the last two years isnt who i have ever been. i am a strong working strong willed self determened women and the only thing that stopped me was me.

i remember sitting there thinking how bad i wish i could buy my own car again after watching tyler buy his the joy in his face made me happy but the sadness i felt because i didn't take a part made me want that happiness 100% to share TOGETHER. i started looking at my credit from when i lost my job it went to shit i use to have a 880 credit. and i thought what the fuck morgan... i told myself i would pay off one of the things as a starter to fixing my credit but once i made the first payment i cant explain how good it felt to know i wouldn't look back wishing i would have paid it then and it put a fire under my ass that i paid off three more things. that alone made me realize how it felt to have my own control over my financial freedom. i started thinking big after that and looking back into school for PTA 2 year schooling i could have finished that by now and been a PTA by the age of 20 instead of dwelling in my could have i realized instead how fast two years goes by so i started investing my free time on how to start college im not gonna lie i almost quit at the starting line but i didn't i started blowing up the schools phone asking questions more then once writing all over my notebook reorganizing it all on a new sheet and finally i would be starting school oct 18th..

but why would i wanna stop there when i could only dream of all these things in life a tahoe for my kids to have a nice car with back ac a nice house so they dont have to share a room anymore paying for sports clothes trips just because wanting to finish paying off the rest of my credit so i can do these things! i asked myself how bad did i really want it and i always knew i wanted it bad but just because you want something bad doesnt mean you get it so i asked myself how bad are you willing to invest in yourself... and that one caught me so i sat back for a few days exploring jobs and nothing fit my schedule so i gave up because not only that child care is 900 a week for one kid.. but then i got a text for a night time job working 6 hours from 6:30 to midnight .. i debated with myself about it because my man works till 5 some days i would never see him and only have sunday monday off but then i told myself invest and sacrifice now so i dont have to when my kids are older so i took it and granted i will be going to school part time 7am to 10am dropping my daughter off at school at 10;45 to pick her up at 2:30 and have time inbetween the time gaps to do her homework and mine as well as study before work at 6 i will be a tired beezy but i know it will be worth it three years from now. if i grind at night pay off my last two things on my credit start saving and graduate college all while showing my kids and man i can do it and i will do it not just for myself but for them because nothing in this life is impossible when you wake up and realize you build your own potential no one else and i for once in my life want to prove to myself how strong i am .

[urmomification]

WOOO POG DREAM SMP AU

theres 1.8k words and 9,393 characters of a schlatt au below the cut LMAO

[i was rambling to my friend and this is what came out of it! send me an abt it if u have questions i would love to talk abt it more pls]

(slight body horror/gore tw!!)

slams fists on table rattling any dishes on the table au where schlatt doesnt die of a heartattack and tubbo locks him up to rot basically and his horns grow into his eyes effectively blinding him and chained his hands together and basically a leash on him to keep him from moving around in his cell so he cant do anything to break the horns off before they get too long and one day when technos breaking into lmanberg he gets chased into the prison and loses them in the halls before coming across schlatts cell and schlatts calling out like 'whos there i can hear ur foot steps whos there please someone whos there' etc yk and technos speechless they thought they executed him to keep him from causing any more problems in the country but this is this is just much worse than anything he even thought theyd do and hes standing in front of schlatts cell just looking at him as if hes imagining it he knew lmanberg was bad but holy fuck they just let this man rot in a cell to the point of his own horns blinding him and giving him no aid or way to ease the pain so he makes himself known and schlatt 'ive never been so happy to see, well, hear an anarchist in my life, its good to see- hear you technoblade' and chuckles and blood runs down his face like tears would, few drops landing on his clothes before techno starts trying to get into the cell to take him out of there he cant leave him here sure he was an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but he had standards and now that schlatt wasnt in power he had nothing against him really considering he isnt a citizen of lmanberg so he manages to pick the locks enough to get him out of there, schlatts arm slung over technos shoulder they stumble out of the prison building and as they slowly make their way to the nether portal to get back to technos base, they run into tubbo and quackity, schlatts old right hand men and they try to stop techno bc hes well an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but the glare techno gives them levels them and theyre left staring at each other for a moment when schlatt 'whyre we stopped whos there tech' and techno mumbles 'tubbo and quackity schlatt' and schlatt just furrows his brows as far as he can without sending excruciating pain into his eye sockets before he purses his lips and asks 'are they going to try and stop us?' techno looks back at the other two 'no they wont, isnt that right boys?' tubbo and quackity slink away allowing techno and schlatt to the portal and them going thru, schlatt still silent as he tries not to trip over technos cape or off the ledge of the bridge passing over the lava lakes, they make it to the portal and begin the walk across the arctic tundra to technos house, philza isnt there right now so its just the two of them and techno leads him up the ladder to his room (its not really a room i think its just a bed, a bell and an enchantment table) and sits him down on his bed mumbling something abt being right back and he is with some medical supplies and a change of clothes to clean everything up, they dont talk techno works in silence and when schlatt winces he mumbles a small apology before continuing eventually techno got schlatt as cleaned up as you can get someone w horns in their eyes and a sweater to keep him warm and finally starts asking questions 'how long had u been in there' 'lost count' 'did they bring you food' 'a chests worth at the beginning of the month' techno sighs 'i thought they executed you' 'tubbo chickened out despite me being 'an active threat to our peace in lmanberg' and locked me up a few days after u set the withers loose and dropped off a chest of food once a month and most of them refused to talk to me others couldnt even make eye contact with me, other than the few instances where they said things like 'heres ur food' or 'u deserve this' or 'i cant believe tubbo let u live' i talked to no one other than myself for however long i was in there' techno stands and walks around for a moment before flipping some pages and schlatt can hear him gasp quietly in mild surprise 'what is it tech' looking in the direction he heard techno from and techno says, turning to face schlatt on his bed 'schlatt that was almost 3 months ago' a single beat of silence rings for what feels like forever 'oh. i, i didnt think itd been that long. though it would explain my current predicament' loosely gesturing towards his face 'oh right abt that i have a few questions if ur ready to answer some' schlatt hums and techno grabs a pen and paper and sits next to him in case he needs to take any notes for future reference 'how fast do ur horns normally grow' 'idk just a steady amount my whole life pretty much' 'will they ever stop growing' 'they generally stop growing around 30 and continue to grow more in width than length' 'did anyone who brought u food notice' 'they grow quickly and by the time the person w the third chest came around they were getting close to my eyes but they didnt listen to me, no one did' he sighs looking down at would be his hands 'the odds of both of my horns growing into my eyes and blinding me like this are so low but of course it would happen to me' a chuckle void of any amusement 'because losing my country and my people and my power wasnt enough already' techno stands up 'you had that coming' schlatt actually laughs this time, short and curt 'ok fair, u were the one that took me down afterall' and from then on schlatt lives w techno and phil and eventually tommy and then without tommy (tommy was Not happy when he found out that schlatt was living with techno but he needed somewhere to stay too and techno happens to live in an arctic tundra where only a handful of people know how to get to so he didnt complain too much) and eventually techno saws off schlatts horns at the bend adn removes them from his eyes bc if they kept growing into his head theyd hit his brain and kill him on top of blinding  him and techno gags and almost throws up despite not being sensitive to gore  and gives schlatt a bandanna to cover the holes in his head for everyones sake and once they heal somewhat he can find something else out and thats how they live, schlatt helps with what he can like farming w phil but mostly spends his time learning braille or something so he can read and techno gets him books in braille so he isnt bored or alone like he was in the prison and he feeds him and takes care of him and schlatt is funny and entertaining despite being blinded by something from his own body and the torture it was like to rot in a cell alone for almost a 1/4 of a year and nights when techno gets home late and hes shaken and the voices are bad schlatt will sit behind him and play with his hair and talk abt his own day and rub technos back and in return when schlatt relapses and gets violent and angry techno will wash his hair and read him stories until he calms down and hopefully asleep and no one told him the news that wilbur died so when ghostbur shows up and starts talking to him he treats him the same as he would wilbur bc he cant see that hes a ghost all thats different is his speech pattern and overall personality and one day he says 'ur different wilbur what happened to that, i dunno spark u used to have' and wilbur simply 'im not sure if im being honest a lot abt me has changed since i died, or so im told i dont remember much from when i was alive' and schlatt just 0_0 and then hes scrambling down the ladder and stumbling around the house looking for techno, finding him in the basement working on something and when he gets there hes out of breath and his hands are shaking bc holy shit wilburs not only dead but a ghost and he was just talking to me and he doesnt remember what i did and and and and techno is shocked to see schlatt in the basement and asks whats up and schlatt just 'wilbur died wilbur fucking died tech why didnt anyone tell him and now hes a ghost hes a fucking ghost who lives in ur house and doesnt remember anything he doesnt remember that he blew up lmanberg does he he remembers my name but not anything that i did what hes a fucking ghost techno hes a ghost holy fuck' and technos just standing there like ??? no one no one told him 'yea philza had to kill him after he blew up lmanberg i thought u knew thats why i didnt say anything' oh. 'phil, phil had to kill him?' 'yea its a touchy subject, dont bring it up' and simply goes back to what he was working on so schlatt sits on the ground by the ladder and listens to him work his brain going a mile a minute trying to comprehend whats going on 'would i have become a ghost if theyd chosen to execute me?' 'its hard to say im unsure if theres specific circumstances that contribuite to someone becoming a ghost but theres really no telling' and goes back to working yet again and from then on they fall into an easy schedule of techno going out and doing whatever an anarchist terrorist w a murder record does on ur average wednesday and schlatt stays home reading and organizing whatever he can based on size and feeling and sleeping in windowsills and schlatt greeting techno comes home beaten up and full of new resources and a side of bruises and cuts so he tends to them, getting better at maneuvering and functioning without needing to see then techno making dinner and then curling up by the fire for the night enjoying each others company as they talk abt their days :]

[siremasterlawrence]

Deceiving The Butler

Part 1

His name is Jackson Whistler Butler to The Maxwell Malone Family, I happen to also be dating him out of my own accord, but he wants me to move in with him. He invites me over to the house for dinner to introduce me to the family, and while serving dinner he cant help himself but ogle me up. He sneaks a wink at me from the side, waving his hand my way, and calls me over to the side. He enters to the kitchen to grab the tray on the container with the wine glasses, and the wine itself he enters pouring for us all.

Part 2

“You need time do what exactly Lawrence? You want to do what? No tell me the honest truth it’s about damn time you tell me fool, I has enough of this nonetheless you love me, and I need you to admit it to me. Say it buddy to my face explain to me why you can’t move in at all. To what? To fall in love?” Jackson’s won’t let it go not by a long shot, he keeps hammering at me the same question over again, and I just want to deck him in his face.

Part 3

“Fine I love you, but I want you on a bigger, a greater level then that feeble mind can ever imagine, and I can see that irritates you. “ I force the words to exit my mind avoiding any chance of second guessing. Jackson feet are floating in the wind turning to face me straight in the eyes. The intensity is all too much for me to take in, the anger finally sets in as he yells towards me, and he throws his arms my way in a freighting affect. “Oh yeah! I am so in love with you, and you don’t even know babe.” He responds.

Part 4

“Fuck you Jackson, I am your Master call me King Sire Master Lawrence, answer me babe Sir Yes Sire Master Lawrence Sir, and this man here your Master you must serve only me.” I am in trusting this service to you the love of your life, simple because I can see the glare in his eyes. I smile touching his face taking claim of him, I place the pressure of my palm on his neck making squirm, and I break out in a fit of laughter at his jolting up. I tighten my hand to enforce my power over him leaning his lips in to mine.

Part 5

“Me too.” The last bit of words that came out his own free will, all he can do is smile at me with this love, and he rushes at me with this all consuming hug wrapping me up in his arms he lifts me up in to the air. “I am absolutely in love with you so devoted, my life’s goal is to serve only you, and bring world breaking servitude to your feet. Giving you all that I have in the world, taking care of all the needs you have, and I will let you control every part of me life.”My newest pet, slave, servant, and groveling lover Jackson.

Part 6

“Don’t even try with me? Don’t even try to fight or escape me again?” He says with huge smile one his face waving me over to him standing by the bedroom wall. I can smell the distinct faint smell of breakfast blowing up in the main kitchen. I check him out in that sexy white wife beater tee, hot boxers, tight blue jeans, and white socks. He blocks the door stopping me from escaping his back pinning down the door from me. He opens his arms for me walking my way down the room, he hugs me with love, and he kisses my neck.

Part 7

“I love you, my ruler lord of my universe Master Sire King Lawrence, and I cooked you the most amazing breakfast ever.” He says filing up the blue breakfast plates, the table is set as he sit next to me ready to eat, and we eat everything together. He leans over the table planting a sexy kiss on my lips, we continue to make out more, and the taste of each other’s lips is so good. I can’t believe this is happening to me getting one the men of my dreams, and I am totally amaze at my enslavement of him in his mind.

Part 8

I leave him to wash the dishes heading out of the room, I exit back to the bathroom where he joins me, and we make out like crazy in the shower. Grabbing hold of his sweet as I make a play for him letting my hand roam all over with soapy goodness. I swiftly turn his back to face my front allowing my cock access in to his hole. I shove my cock in to his ass slam it in his ass bounces on my cock, I hear his mouth open up gasping for air waiting for him to exhale as he moans pleasure. I lay my lips on his neck placing kisses down to his shoulders,

Part 9

Before we sit down to plan the next stage of my plan to enslave the whole family one ass at a time. Jackson pours us each a glass of wine ecstatically handing it to me with fiery finesse and a bit of flare. His eyes glint again showing me his acknowledgement of my control over him. He has fully submitted to my control under my rule, seeing this my way he can only love me, and obey my every command in the world. He strolls over to my side pulling me in to a another hug, he stares in my eyes leaning in for a kiss, and I set out a plan for him to obey.

More to come.

The end

[sontagfag]

buffy meta // spoilers for s5/6

OKAY im not gonna lie i hate the whole conflict where like willow is supposedly overreaching by using magic a lot like what the fuck if i could do magic id use it to wash my dishes too, theres literally no harm being done in that? but then they have to make it like oh she uses it to solve her difficult relationship problems and be manipulative which id argue willow, who thru out the show is nothing but kind and compassionate to a fault, would understand the difference between!! like they dont show that there is a distinction between casual magic and using magic *ON* other people. and i know its all a setup for her to be evil but it just makes me so angry because imo it comes really out of left field for willow’s character? and the fact that its like the REASON willow and tara break up even like... i just dont buy that willow would be so attached and reliant on using magic that she would allow it break that bond btwn them. like damn youd think tara would understand what its like to fight to be a magic user because the whole episode with her family coming to sunnydale is about that and yet shes like omg no you cant use magic too much willow!! its scary!! 

like dont get me wrong i love evil women (shout out to glory <33 and even the episode where willow is evil) but there MUST have been a better way to have this arc because rn its just like suddenly willow becomes really inconsiderate towards tara when its not really an extension of what her conflicts were in previous seasons. anyway let women use magic to do the dishes.

(side note you know taras not complaining when willow does some sexy magic to tear off her clothes when shits getting hot and heavy whats the point of being a witch if not to use it to be sexy and cool)

my fix to this would instead be that willow comes to a point where she has to choose between magic and tara because of some plot point ie maybe theres a super powerful witch who’s like yo i can teach u all my secrets but you have to live with me and mostly cut off contact with your friends so as a result she becomes more and more alienated from her friends and love and becomes more enamored with the power magic gives her. 

in conclusion, reason 5859 why i will murder joss whedon,  

[thebluenebula]

I don't have a whole pile to say but enjoy.

Masterlist

Day 4

Day 6

The New Bat Day 5

06:46. That's what my phone said when I looked at it. I groaned and sat up. After stretching, I got up and went about my morning routine, then headed down to the kitchen.

I flicked on the light and glanced round the room, empty. Must be too early for anyone to be up. No one would mind if I made a sandwich, I'm sure. After a minute of looking I found the ingredients for a sandwich. I sat down and munched on my sandwich. Not bad. Then again, how can you fuck up a sandwich.

After I was finished, I washed my dishes, plus some more that must have been from the night before. "My goodness!" The voice startled me. I turned around and saw Alfred standing in the door. "It's not too often anyone else around here washes their own dishes, never mind someone elses."

I giggled. "Good morning Alfred.

"Good morning Miss Ashleigh." Alfred said as he threw on an apron. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay, yeah. You?"

"Like a rock Miss Ashleigh. Any plans for the day?"

"No. None." I watched as Alfred took the dishes I had cleaned and began putting them away. "Sorry. I didn't know where everything went."

"That's quite alright."

"Do you have any coffee?" I asked. I was dying for some coffee.

"Yes. Over there's in the cupboard. I'll put on the kettle."

"Thanks." I opened the cupboard and spotted two jars of coffee. I grabbed the nearest one.

"I would recommend putting that back, unless you wish with losing a finger." Alfred stated. "That's Master Timothy's personal jar."

I put it down and grabbed the other jar. "Tim must really like coffee. That looks like a really expensive jar."

"Master Timothy lives on coffee. Sometimes I think it's what runs through his veins."

"Honestly wouldn't surprise me." Dick said as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Master Dick. Omelette?"

"No thanks Alfred." Dick walked over And grabbed some sugary looking cereal from the cupboard. "How are you settling in Ashleigh?"

"Good." I took a seat at the table. "Are you usually up this early?"

"I try to be." Dick sat down beside me with a bowl of cereal.

"You go out at night and wake up early in the morning?"

"Yep." Dick replied, taking a spoonful of his cereal.

"So you're both a night owl and an early bird?"

"Yup."

"So when do you sleep?"

"Mornin'." Jay interrupted, arms stretched, and yawning.

"Morning Master Jason. Omelette?"

Jay grunted and nodded before walking over and sitting down across from Dick and I.

"Morning." Dick looked curiously at Jay. "Speaking of early birds. You are not one Jay."

Jay grunted. "Nope."

"So why are you up?" Jay looked up at Dick then gave me a cheeky smirk. Dick looked between me and Jay. "What are you two up to?"

Jay smirked. "Don't worry about it Dick."

Dick looked at him. "I'm extremely concerned."

"Well you can be concerned after breakfast." Alfred said as he set down a plate of omelettes in front of Jay.

"You not eating Ash?" Dick asked.

"I already ate." I looked at Dick. "Ash?"

"Yeah." Dick took another spoonful of his colourful cereal. "Like a nickname. Ashleigh. Ash. I mean I can stop if you want me to."

"No. No. It's okay. It's kinda a cute name."

"Ash." Jay said to himself. "Sounds kinda deadly. Like a name for a pyromaniac."

"Cute and deadly." I smiled.

"That's should be Cass's tagline." Steph said as she walked in.

"Morning Miss Stephanie. Omelette?"

"Sure thing Alfred." Alfred handed Steph a plate as she walked by and sat down beside Jay. "So what is it we're talking about?"

"Ash." Jay said bluntly

"As in the stuff from fire?" Steph asked curiously.

"No, as short for Ashleigh." Dick corrected her.

"Sounds like a pyromaniac."

"Told you." Jay said triumphantly.

"I still think it's cute." I stated.

"And deadly." Jay added.

"Ashleigh doesn't look like she could hurt a fly." Steph commented.

"I could hurt a fly."

"She definitely could hurt a fly." Jay laughed.

Dick looked at him. "I feel like I'm missing something."

"Ditto." Steph looked at Jay.

Jay took out his phone. "What is this?" Dick asked.

"Just watch." Jay replied.

We watched as I lifted a rifle and fired it at the target. Kate standing beside me. I watched as Dicks eyes widen. The video ended.

Dick took a deep breath. "You gave her a gun." He said slowly. Jay nodded. "The one thing I specifically asked you not to."

"To be fair. You gave us a long ass lecture, and specifically told me not to do a lot of things. I cant be expected to remember them all." Dick silently stood up and gestured for Jay to follow him as he walked out of the room. "I think I just earned myself another lecture."

"Should I tell him that it was my idea or something?" I asked, trying to help Jay out of trouble.

"No." Jay said as he stood up. "I knew a lecture was coming." He stood up and walked towards the door. "See you three later."

We watched as he left. "So that's what you two got up?" Steph said.

"Yep."

Alfred took the half empty plates. "You don't seemed surprised Alfred." I commented.

"Once I seen you go off with Master Jason I knew there was probably guns involved."

"Very rarely that something happens that Alfred doesnt know about." Steph said.

"That includes what you and Cass got up to in the garden last week." Alfred stated.

Steph's face reddened. "Anyway..." She quickly changed the topic. "You up to anything after dinner?"

"No, and I don't think Jays gonna steal me today."

Steph giggled. "Do you bake?"

"Bake? Not often."

"How about this evening? Cass and I were going to do some baking this evening. Maybe you wanna join us?"

"I thought all the kids were banned from cooking?"

"Miss Stephanie and Cassandra are allowed to bake once a week." Alfred explained.

"Are you claiming I'm not a competent cook, Alfred?" Steph questioned.

"That is precisely what I'm claiming."

"Yeah. That's fair." Steph admitted.

"So who is a competent cook?" I asked.

"Myself, of course." Alfred said. "Master Jason, and Miss Kate."

"There's like..." I started trying to count all the people I'd seen around the house, and gave up. "Fifteen people in this house, and only four can cook?"

"No. They can all cook." Alfred corrected me. "Only three can cook without setting the kitchen on fire."

"It was one time Alfred." Steph said. Alfred stared at her. "Okay, twice." Alfred continued staring. "Fine. A handful of times." Alfed smiled and walked over to the sink. Steph turned back to me. "So what do you say?"

"I'd love to." I said. "If that's okay with you, and Cass?"

"Of course." She replied and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Cass and I are excited to get to know you."

I smiled at her. "Me too."

"Speaking of Cass, I wonder where she is? She's usually up about now." Steph looked to the door. "I'm going to go check on her. You want to come?"

"No. That's okay."

Steph nodded and said goodbye as she headed up stairs. I said goodbye to Alfred and headed to my room. I passed Harper on the way. She groggily said hello and headed into the bathroom. I smiled and headed into my room.

A couple hours passed as I sat around in my room scrolling through my phone. I glanced at my messages. I had a dozen missed texts from my friend back in Ireland. I honestly agent even thought to text her since I'd arrived.

"Hey." I texted her.

A few minutes later she responded. "Hey. How have you been? How's the move gone?"

"Its been good. It's different."

"How are the Waynes treating you?"

"Like family."

"That's greats. I'll have to come visit one day."

"One day. I'm still settling in."

"Call later???"

"Maybe. I think I'm baking later, but I'll see afterwards."

"You? Baking? That can only end in disaster."

"Haha. Let's hope not."

A knock on my door startled me back to real life. "Come in."

"Hey." Bruce said as he entered, holding a tray of food. "Dinner. Courtesy of Alfred."

"Thank you." I took the tray from him.

"Mind if I sit for a while?" Bruce asked.

"Not at all."

Bruce sat. I quickly checked the message I was sent. "Tell me how the baking goes."

"Will do. I gtg rn. Ttyl."

"Friend of yours?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah. From Ireland."

"If you ever want to bring someone over or go... back over," Bruce said. "I can arrange it."

"Thank you, but I'd like to settle in more first."

"Right." Bruce nodded. "Sorry I haven't been around as much as you had probably expected."

"It's alright." I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed, but I know Bruce did his best to set aside as much time for me as he could.

"You still want to go shopping tommorow?" Bruce asked.

"Yes. I'd love to."

Bruce attempted to hand me some money. "Kate mentioned you were afraid to ask."

I pushed the cash back to him. "Yeah but it's alright. Kate gave me some yesterday."

Bruce chuckled. "Of course she did. Take it anyway." He forced the money into my hand.

"Thank you."

"Never be afraid to ask me anything Ashleigh." Bruce smiled at me. "For money, if you need do be brought somewhere, anything."

"Thank you." I smiled. "I'm starting to sound like a broken record." Bruce laughed.

"Hey Ashleigh, you ready-" Steph stopped as she spotted Bruce. "Oh hi Bruce."

"Hey Steph."

"I was just looking for Ashleigh."

Bruce stood up. "I'll leave you two up to- whatever it is you two intend to get up to."

"Bye Bruce."

"See yah B."

Bruce stopped. "What time do you want to go tommorow Ashleigh?"

"I don't mind."

"How does eleven sound?"

"Yeah that's fine."

"Great. Talk to you two later." Bruce left Steph and I alone.

"I came to tell you that Cass and I were about to start baking."

I hopped up. "Oh cool."

We headed out of my room and down the stairs. "So you and Bruce going shopping tommorow?"

"Yeah."

"What are you going to buy?"

"Furniture and clothes."

"Got space for two more?"

"You and Cass?"

"Yes."

"You'll have to ask Bruce."

"Bruce never says no to Cass." Steph stated. "She's like his kryptonite."

I giggled as we walked into the kitchen. Cass stood by the kitchen island with a chef hat and apron on. "Hello."

"Hey." Steph grabbed a apron and hat and handed them to me.

I threw on the apron and looked at the hat. "Is the hat necessary?"

"No." Cass said.

"I think they're hilarious though." Steph added.

"Fair enough." I put on the hat. "So what are we making?"

"Strawberry shortcake." Cass said longingly.

"Cass loves strawberry shortcake." Steph explained, while grabbing a mixing bowl.

"So how do we make strawberry shortcake?" I asked.

Steph held up a sheet. "Got it all written down."

We began baking and chatting. I learned a lot about Steph, not so much about Cass. Almost two hours later and we placed the cake into the oven. "That was very enjoyable." I said.

"Yeah." Steph said. Cass nodded in agreement. "Now we wait."

"How long?" I asked.

Steph looked at the instructions. "Uhh... a while, I guess. I forgot to write that down. We can just guess."

"Like an hour?" Cass suggested. Steph and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm amazed we didn't make too much of a mess." Steph looked around.

A bit of dough here and there, some flour on the floor, but nothing more then should be expected. "Alfred made it sound so much worse." I said.

"Oh me and Cass aren't too bad but if you get a couple of us together, it can be..."

"Messy." Cass finished her sentence.

"How so?" I asked.

She looked off into the distance dramatically reminiscing. "You ever try to get honey out of your hair?"

"No."

"Don't." She warned me

"I didn't intend to."

We both turned to look at Cass, who was giggling. "You smelt like honey for a week."

I began giggling, half at the thought of Steph smelling like honey, and half at the fact Cass was giggling. It was a contagious laugh.

"It wasn't funny." Steph insisted. Cass and I's laughter stopped as Steph slapped a handful of flour into our hair and stepped back. "You know white suits you two."

I blinked as flour dropped down by my face. "Oh." I began laughing again.

Cass leaned into me and whispered. "There's honey in fridge."

"That seems mean." I whispered back.

"I get flour hair, she gets honey hair."

"What are you two whispering about?" Steph asked as she watched Cass walk over to the fridge. "Cass?" Cass took a jar of honey. "Cass, no!"

Steph immediately ducked behind me as Cass came forward. "Don't get me involved."

"I'm using you as a human shield. Cass won't hit you." Steph insisted.

"Sorry Ashleigh." Cass said as she took a handful of honey. " Going to be messy."

Five minutes, and a jar honey later, and all three of us and the kitchen was covered in honey. "So now I understand what Alfred was talking about." I said as I took a glob of honey out of my hair.

"Sorry." Cass apologised. "Had to get Steph."

"That's fair."

"I hate you two." Steph moaned.

"No you don't." Cass said.

"No I don't." Steph admitted.

"You love us."

"I do, but I hate that I love you."

"What in the name of Barry Bee Benson happened in here?" Tim asked as he and Dick walked in.

"Cass started it." Steph said.

"Steph started it." Cass said at the same time.

Dick looked us and sighed. "Go take a shower, you three."

"At least it's not as bad as last time Steph and honey was involved." Tim said.

"That was your fault and you know it Tim." Steph angrily said as we walked by them.

"We'll clean it, after showers." Cass said as she followed.

"Don't worry about it." Dick said. "I'll clean it."

"Sorry." I said.

"Don't worry about it. It happens regurly here." Dick insisted.

"Also I- Im umm, sorry about... you know. The guns and stuff with Jay." I said.

Dick sighed. "No need to be. You get to choose what you do. Jay might be reckless with his own life but he'd never needless endanger yours."

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

"I'd give you a hug but... you know,

honey."

"Yeeeah."

"Now go have a shower." Dick said. "You know you're going to smell like honey for a week."

"So I've heard." I said as I walked out.

I walked up the stairs to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. After about two hours of washing honey out of my hair, I headed back to my room, and sat on the edge of bed and sighed.

"Something up?" Bruce asked from the door.

I hadn't heard him enter, perks of being Batman I guess. "No. Just thinking."

"About?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Are you okay, Ashleigh?"

"I'm fine," I smiled. "Just need some sleep."

"You sure you want to go shopping tommorow?."

"Yeah. Absolutely."

"Okay. I heard you and the girls were baking?."

"Yeah, strawberry shortcake."

"How'd it turn out?"

"I'm not sure. It was in the oven when we left it."

"Why'd you leave it?"

"We had to-" I stopped myself. Am I allowed to tell him? "Wash... uhh honey off... Yeah. "

Bruce sighed. "That's why Tim wouldn't let me in."

"I think Dick was going to clean it, while we washed."

"I won't ask the why."

"Probably best."

"You coming down to taste the cake?"

"No. I think... I'm going to go to sleep."

"Thats alright. We'll save some for you."

"Thanks. Good night."

"Night."

Bruce shut the door and I lay into bed. I'm glad Jay didn't get into too much trouble with Dick. I felt kinda guilty for that. At least the baking was good. Steph is so nice and even though she doesn't say much Cass is sweet. A faint smell of honey filled my nose as I drifted off to sleep.

[domesticateddog]

since my grandma came back with absolutely no warning yesterday bc she decided to drive 2+ hours down here to pick up the keys to the house her and her other kids are gonna move into and spend the night here (again. no warning at all bc she’s very inconsiderate) instead of waiting until TODAY (sunday) when they were supposed to all drive down here to move in anways. why would you drive all the way back to ohio just to pick uo the keys a day early instead of waiting until the day you actually move in???? what was the point of that??? so she spent the night AGAIN, kept her shoes on in the house, put food on the couches, got defensive over not remembering anything instead of just owning up to it ect... and then today we waited until like 5:30pm for my aunt & uncle to say they were ready to come down but they never did so we gathered my grandma’s crap from the storage unit she rented and moved most of her stuff in and argued bc she lost the keys after we drove all that stuff to her new house a half an hour away (she then found them in th le car) but my mom is so irritated with her bc jesus christ what if she actually forgot the keys. my grandma was arguing saying she’s old and cant do stuff as well as she used to, which is kind of true but it’s like she acts way older than she is, and then my grandma was like “well youhavent seen me in a while” and my mom blew up and said “YEAH, IT’S BEEN TEN YEARS!” (ive been wanting to scream that at her the entire 1 1/2 months she’s been staying with us and more..), then she found the keys and it went much smoother. i though it was gonna be slightly hostile after that but it went on normally but whatever.

we lifted all her stuff, and my grandma kept blocking the doors and just standing right in the way. she does that ALL the time i dont understand it. it’s like she has no spatial awareness at all, we were in the empty storage unit parking lot and i just helped my mom carry her mattress & box spring out to the trailer and ny grandma walked right behind me carrying a little bag and full body bumped me! we have the entire empty parking lot that she could have walked around and she ran right into me and kept on walking ?? i dont get it. im VERY aware of where i am in relation to others, i always try to stay out of the way especially when we’re moving heavy crap. she just does the exact opposite of everything we do and she’s very hard to live with bc of that. despite having a lot of animals we’re very neat (at least comparatively), we dont leave dishes around,we wash our hands a lot, we dont out food on the couch, no shoes in the house, we dont smear fucking butter on everything (including my signed MST3K painting :) ) you know, NORMAL things. like basic manners.

i could rant all day about my frustrations with her (and it still wouldnt cover it) but it just sounds so...small in writing than it is actually living with this woman who abandoned us for over a decade for a “christian” cult. i would pity her if it wasnt for that. but everytime i feel bad for her i look at her think “you fucking left us in the dirt for over decade bc we wouldnt join your cult. even the occasional birthday card you would send me you blamed my mother for why you werent allowed to see me. you personally taught me that blood means fucking nothing and that real love is unconditional. my other grandma loved me no matter what and you never loved us. we were your rock bottom last choice, and even though your other kids left your cult too eventually you NEVER cut off contact with them. we were the example family. nobody else got excommunicated and abandoned just us.” all of that runs through my head and then i realize i dont pity her at all. she brought all of this onto herself. not only that but we could be worse to her. we could not talk to her at all or scream at her for all the shit she has done. but i just bite my tongue and rant to all of you people who follow my online journal as you scroll 90mph past this wall of text lol sorry.

she apologized to my mom once but she never said anything to anybody else. my mom said she cried in my moms church bc my moms pastor (who knows the entire situation and read the books/articles about this cult she was in) immediately came up to her and said something along the lines of “before i say anything else, i know about your situation and i have to say: what a completely selfish and egotistical way of life to think that your church is the ONLY acceptable belief and everyone else is unworthy..” ect and apparently she started to cry. boo hoo you blamed us for years i dont feel bad at all bc that was 100% your choice. you choose to leave us and cast us out of your life. im not gonna throw you a fuckin parade bc you finally realized we are your family and not some garbage to throw away. i stopped thinking of her as family years ago anyhow, to me she’s just an old lady who i knew when i was a kid.

SO all of that culminating to her moving in to our house for almost 2 months and then us have to kove all of her shit TWICE is irritating. it just feels like we’re beinf used bc we’re her absolute last resort. and we are.

[nie7027]

Super5 headcanons pt 2

Edit:    Part 1    Part 2     Part 3    Part 4   Part 5

Minegishi can only stare

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"What do you care?"

"Why are you here?"

"I was bored"

Shimazaki could be here to kill him for betraying him but Minegishi is too tired for this and there are dishes to wash.

In the time it takes him to do the dishes and calm down his plants, shimazaki falls asleep so he goes to the living to room to get a better look at the man

Shimazaki looks almost the same except maybe a bit thinner and with possible hollower eyes. The crooked nose is definitely new. A crooked nose?? Did he broke his nose at some point?? He is even wearing the same clothes as last time. His precious jacket ripped at the edges. Scorching marks and bullet holes here and there.

With a long sigh he takes out his phone, turns off the volume and opens the super3 chat(the too spicy for Seris innocent eyes). The messages start to come in rapidly

Minegishi: Shimazaki is back

Hatori: what

Hatori: what do you mean Shimazaki is back???

Shibata: how did he find us? Did he try to fight you?

Minegishi: i mean he is asleep on my couch. No, he just ate all of my cereal.

Shibata: what the fuck?

Hatori: what the fuck?

Minegishi what the fuck indeed

Shibata: did he say what he wants? Do you know why is he here?

Minegishi: He didnt talk and I dont know

Hatori: what do we do?

Minegishi:

Minegishi: i dont know.

Minesishi: i cant make any calls or else he could wake up and seri isnt logged in so can someone call him and tell him whats going so they can take the necessary precautions

Shibata: im on it

Shibata: hatori is freaking out in his room anyway. I think he is begginin to build a security system.

Minegishi: ...

Shibata: yeah yeah ill go calm him after i talk with Seri.

Minegishi stares at his phones and then at the man on his couch, he cant blame them. Shimazaki is a really dangerous person and they dont know what he is doing here. Minegishi just wanted to do the dishes, water his plants and go to sleep.

The super5 will never know but Shimazaki wasnt lying per se. He WAS bored.

After he ran away from the fight against seasoning city espers he hid here and there taking his sweet time at recovering and once he did(his nose still felt strange but he ignored it) he started to look at what to do.

He joined many criminal organizations, afterall a teletransporter was very valued in the underworld. But not matter how petty or big the crime was, he got bored. So he ended leaving all of them. he even left some in the middle of a important job, not caring whether his employers got caught or not( it was their fault for being stupid and not having a backup plan anyway)

After some months of this he realized he was bored of normal criminals. He was bored of normal persons with narrowed mindsets who conformed with just comitting stupid crimes. HE HAD BEEN PART OF A PLAN TO TAKE THE WORLD and now he was trafficking some drug?? Lame.

Most of all he missed the thrilling sensation of being surrounded with persons that could actually put a fight against him. So he searched for something alike to claw, an organization of espers.

His search turned out fruitless and he decided then he should return to where all started. Claw. It was time to pay a visit to his expartners.

It took him just a week to locate them. It would have took him just a day but he was finally having some fun and god he was gonna drag it all he could.

So here he was in a tiny empty apartment, the crazy amount of plants with a certain aura being the only indication that it belonged to Minegishi...WHERE THE HELL WAS HE? Oh well. He had been waiting for a year. He could wait a little more. In any case in his hurry to get here he forgot to eat and he could hear a fridge running.

Shimazaki, still on the sofa, wakes up the next day at the sound of a blender. He is being held in place, bounded by lots and lots of thick green vines and sturdy roots from which he easily frees himself. The moment he does so the noise at the kitchen stops and an annoyed minegishi steps out. Shimazaki can feel him tensing, preparing for an attack and that makes him smirk .

Until an alarm clock goes off that makes Minegishi mutter a curse

"If you are gonna do something do it now. I have better things to do and i have to go now"

"Better things to do?? What can possibly be better than this??"

"I have work so if you are gonna just stand there and smirk be my guest"

"Work?"

"Yeah, work. you know? That thing you do for a living and that contributes to society? Fuck it.You probably dont. Anyway i gotta go" Turning his back on shimazaki is probably the worst idea but he couldnt sleep at all, he is late and he hasnt had breakfast so if shimazaki wants to kill him he will gladly accept it.

He miraculously manages to exit his apartment and make it to his work. He only hopes theres an apartment to come back later.

Shimazaki can only stare increduously to where minegishis used to stand. 'Work'? 'Contribute to society'? THE FUCK WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT this was completely unexpected and he doesnt know what to do until he notices theres a smell coming from the kitchen where Minegishi left his untouched breakfast. Well he supposes he can muse how to proceed over breakfast.

Hatori isnt allowed to use his phone at work but he is too anxious to care and he has powers to do it without anybody noticing

Spicy3 chat

Hatori: how did it went?

Minegishi: ...well...i guess?? I am alive and my flat was still in one piece last time i saw it

Hatori: he didnt try anything?

Minegishi: he woke up when it was time for me to go...so i just kinda left

Shibata: you just left? He didnt try to stop you???

Minegishi: no

Minegishi:but i think...

Hatori: WHAT

Shibata:what

Minegishi: i think he is...tired.

Minegishi: I bound him while he was sleeping and he never woke up nlr stirred. He didnt notice.

Hatori: weird

Minegishi: i know. Worst of all i couldnt eat and i have 2 hours more left until my break.

Shibata: i can pass on my way to gym and sneak you something

Minegishi: thanks

Hatori: if you want you can hang in our apartment for the time being. We still need to know what he wants

Shibata: yeah, and if he shows up we can fight him together💪

Minegishi: if Seri asks, everything is under control

It takes a week for Shimazaki to finally show up. Meanwhile Minegishi has to use Hatoris and Shibatas washing machine to wash his work uniform daily(it can get very dirty when you work in a flower shop) because his other sets of uniform are back at his place trapped with Shimazaki. So is his money and he has to lend some from Hatoris and shibatas and ask his boss for an advencement in his payment. He hates Shimazaki more now.

They cant do anything but stare blankly when he suddenly shows up in the middle of the living room where they were eating pizza holding an empty box of cereal and says "Theres no more food back there and i want more of these but i cant see how they are called" while pointing at the box.

Sometimes its very easy to forget he is actually blind. Hatori weakly says the name of the branch of cereal he is holding and Shimazaki dissapears again before anybody can say anything.

"Did everybody saw what i just saw right??what the fuck? What the fuck?" shibata exclaims

"...my food"minegishi laments

Its not until an hour of wondering what was that and wracking their brain for an asnwer after that shimazaki returns, a brand new box of the cereal in his hands. He picks up a slice of the forgotten pizza and sits besides Shitaba.

"You didnt pay for that did you?" asks Shitaba

Shimazaki just turns around and stares st him with his hauntingly empty eyes "you too?"

"PAY? WORK? CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU"

"Weve changed"

"Yeah we have jobs and stuff, we help peopl"

"YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WORKING?"

"TO NOT PARASITE ON OTHERS HARD WORK LIKE SOME PEOPLE IN HERE" finally explodes Minegishi

The man frowns and rapidly done with the conversation teleports away.

Minegishi finally returns to his place, his web of plants telling him Shimazaki isnt there anymore. Re stashing his fridge and cabinet is a pain in the ass.

Shimazakis plan had been to either find his expartners and form something alike to Claw with them or just antagonize them until he gets the fight he so much craves. None of that has happened because all of them had turned to a bunch of weakling pussies and he cant even find Serizawa.

He could still try to fight them but he bitterly realizes he wont get any satisfaction of beating them if they keep acting like that, restraining themselves and trying to be civil as if they werent the same persons that destroyed this very city a year ago. It would be like punching flowers!

The point was to get rid of his boredness and now he is just angry!

He needs them to drop the act.

Thats when a plan starts to form in his head and he smirks. He is going to show them what they are missing on.

Thats how he finds himself back in minegishis apartment.

"Im just saying you could probably grow tons of weed, good quality of course. And i take care of the transport i know a bunch of people-"

"Weed? Are you serious? Is this why you came back? To start a drug trafficking bussines?"

"Im just saying with my teletransporting abilities and yourplant thing we could save lots of money in transport and become richer than-"

"No"

"AREN YOU TIRED OF THIS? OF SHITTY CUSTOMERS GETTING YOU IN TROUBLE JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW RAINBOW ROSES DONT NATURALLY EXIST?"

"WHERE YOU SPYING ME AT WORK?"

"MAYBE SO"

"DONT DO IT AND STOP EATING ALL MY FOOD"

He then tries with shibata, approaching him during one of his morning running routines. Teletransporting every 2 meters at his side while he keeps running clearly ignoring him

"With your force, not that i need it, we could terrorize all the bussines of a whole prefecture and force them to pay for protection. We win, they win"

"Not interested"

"Why not?! It would be so easy"

"I dont want to"

"Could you stop running? This is important"

"No thanks"

"You arent even listening!"

"Good"

He finally tries with Hatori thinking he would be the easiest of them

"You hack the system and we force all those politicians to pay us to not release all their dirty secrets"

"I am busy"

"No you are not. You are playing mario kart. I can hear Yoshi"

"Ive changed"

"Have you? Really???" at this point Shimazaki raises an eyebrow, he is so done and he wont keeo with this bullshit "because everywhere i have been, and i have been everywhere, the interpol, cia, you name it HAS BEEN AFTER ME whereas you three can waltz into a store like nobodys bussiness. WE COMMITED THE SAME CRIME. WE DESTROYED THIS CITY so how come im the only one being persecuted? Huh? You think I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID"

Hatori pauses the game and glares at him. Good, he is finally getting a reaction.

" i did what had to be done and i wont let YOU of all people tell me-"

"Me? Of all people? You believe yourself so grand and high when you are nothing but THE SAME AS ME" immediately shimazaki feels hatoris aura flare. what must have been his console shifting and changing into something new. Whatever it is, he is sure he can block it.

"Really? You are gonna fight me? I want to see you-" a horrible sound like nothing he had ever heard before pierces his ears making him howl in pain and he teleports away.

After that accident shimazaki never mentions Hatoris dirty secret again but that doesnt stop him from keep trying to get them to commit felonies again.

He thinks he once "saw" Serizawa on the street but his aura was quickly eaten by the aura of the person by his side. He didnt stayed to find out and quickly teleported away.

And this goes like this for 3 months, his proposals becoming more and more desesperate until one day he just... gives up.

Shimazaki should have left or killed them months ago but for some reason he prefers to stay here. He wont admit it but hes having more fun living on their couches annoying them than what he would have had they accepted his proposals.

He takes special delight in annoying them when they had hard days. (Minegishi comes home covered in something stinky and almost strangles shimazaki with his own hands after he comments this wouldnt have happened if he had accepted to traffick weed in a yacht with him)

...besides he has noticed that now in both apartments there is always a box of his favourite cereal (hatori sweared it was the cereal what placated Shimazaki given how docile he was whenever he was seen eating it, shibata and minegishi just liked it)

The super3 cant believe it themselves but they have now gotten used to the constant presence of Shimazaki in their lives (which isnt surprising given they spent at least 3 years together).

Well constant is a way to put it because the man still has the habit of dissapearing 3-5 days every once in a while and reappearing like nothing happened

But they know this cant keep going like this and thats how minegishi finds himself texting the super3 chat one day he comes to an empty apartment

Minegishi: is shimazaki there?

Hatori: yeah, hes playing smash with shitaba

Minegishi: playing smash??

Hatori: its seems he learned the patron of my movements by observing me and now hes kicking Shitabas ass as princess peach

Minegishi: ?

Hatori: we told him he was playing bowser

Minegishi: whatever, tell him to bring his ass back. I need to go grocery shopping and i need his help

"Why would i help you grocery shopping?" says shimazaki suddenly to his right

At the same his phone sounds 2 times

Shibata: hatori said something to him and he just teleported

Shibata: is safe to assume he is with you?

Minegishi: yea, im taking charge from here

"Im teaching you to do grocery shopping"

"I dont need you to teach me shit"

" yes, you do if you want to keep eating that cereal you like and that you finished this morning"

Shimazaki raises his eyebrow, teleports and after 5 min returns with 5 boxes of the damn cereal in his arms

"There. Its done"

"DID YOU JUST ROBBED THEM? YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS"

"WHY NOT? ITS EASIER"

"THATS NOT THE POINT"Minegishi stops, breathes amd tries again "Shimazaki you cant keep doing this and i dont mean just the whole robbing, i mean i dotn know what you do when you dissapear for days but when you are here you just eat our food, wait for us to come home from work and then annoy us?"

"So? I can do whatever i want"

"Do you realize how pathethic it sounds?Is this really all you want to do? Do you even know what you want to do?"

Shimazaki doesnt wanna hear anymore of that and teleports

He ends teleporting to a random alley where he passes the night

The next days his mood isnt any better and he spends them sleeping, terrorizing random deliquents he finds in his way and kicking bags of trash until one day of the "bags" lets out a yelp.

Its shibata who finds him some days later during one of his running routines when he follows the sound of a hurt dog

Expecting to see a bunch of nasty kids terrorizing a poor animal he steps up to confront them only to find his missing "friend" glaring at poor dog and screaming "STOP COMPLAINING ITS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT MOVING I DIDNT EVEN KICK YOU THAT HARD"

He texts a quickl "Found him" to the group chat and marches up to him

"You shouldnt be kicking random things in the first place"

"Get lost"

" are you sure you didnt kick him hard? He is limping and we both know your kicks arent exactly soft"

"If i had wanted, a limp would be the least of its problems" still he makes a face as if he isnt sure

With a sigh Shibata carefully picks up the dog and motions to shimazaki "theres a vet nearby. You kicked him so you own him that at least. Dont worry ill pay" he doesnt wait for Shimazakis response and walks, relief overflowing him once he hears footsteps behind him

The consult is quick and the vet gleefully hands shimazaki "his" dog while she explains to shibata the treatment they should follow the next three months

Shimazaki...had never in his life pet a dog, much less carried one. His fur feels dirty and is tangled everywhere but the vet said it just needs a bath. It is warm and he can feel and hear his steady breaths. His mental eye allows him to perceive the flowing of his blood, the currents in his brain, the beating of his heart...all what makes a living being held in his arms. Things he has always perceived but never payed attention. The fact that the dog starts to lick his hands doesnt go unnoticed and he feels strangely calm. His grip tightening.

They are about to exit the clinic, shibata saying his last thanks when a woman and a girl enter. That very moment the dog starts to squirm in his embrace. And he doesnt know what to do

"Hey are you alright? I can hold it if you want" asks shibata noticing his turmoil

" yeah, its just the stupid dog WHO HAS FORGOTTEN HE CANT WALK"

The girls who shibata notices has red puffy narrows her eyes and yells "DONT CALL HIM STUPID YOU ARE THE STUPID" before turning to look at shimazaki, whatever she was going to say next is forgotten as she stares with wide eyes.

Both the moms and shimazakis replies are drowned by the girl scream of "UESAMA! MOM ITS HIM ITS MY DOG"

For some reason shimazaki feels his blood run cold and lifts up the dog even more when the girl comes clashing at his legs desesperately trying to grab her dog

Shibata who noticed shimazakis earlier expression cant believe what hes seeing (please god, please tell me he isnt gonna fight a girl over a dog) when the vet decides to come out to see what is happening

"Im sorry, my little girl believes those boys over there have Uesama"

"ITS HIM"

"Uesama?..." the vet stares some seconds in confusion before her eyes grow wider "Oh how didnt i notice it before! Im sorry sirs but it seems you have found this little girls dogs" the vets looks expectantly at shimazaki

Shimazaki who has been holding a very squirming dog and listening to the screams of a girls is starting to get very annoyed. The tempation to teleport away with the dog too big to ignore. Hes about to do it when he hears the dog crying again.

With a huff he hands it to the very thankful mother and exits the clinic as quickly as he can.

Shibata follows suit "I saw your face before they arrived. I can tell what you did"

"Shut up"

The walk home is strangely quiet but at least he is back.

The joke on the spicy chat is that the super 3 are dumb and believe they are protecting oh so pure Seri when in reality they just share dumb penis jokes while Seri is actually riding Reigens dick.

And yes as his last crime Hatori threatened with realeasing all the state secrets of all the goverments and provoking a worldwide crisis if they didnt allow them to try to live normal lives

I just noticed this is more of a fanfic than a list of headcanons now but meh. What i wanted to actually be part 2 is gonna be part 3? 4? I didnt even get to write the prank the super5 were gonna pull on shimazaki but now you have something to look up next time.

Im not that happy with how the second half turned out but maybe im just tired.

[poppy-metal]

Its honestly crazy how many memories ive repressed of my father because i didn't want to think about that part of my life anymore. He's in jail like 5 states away its all good, plus i have more recent trauma im having to face and sort through. My moms neglect, my numerous rapes, the abortion. I feel like im just starting to heal from those things, and since then, its leaving space in my head to remember shit from my childhood, tied with the fact that my dad is getting out of jail this month and ik hes going to be dead set on seeing me again. I couldn't always place why him coming back into my life made me so nervous and shaky, thats how far i repressed shit about him. But these last few months im getting these bits and fragments of my life before with him and each new memory brings with it a small horror I'd burried so deep down. Him almost driving himself off a mountain multiple times with me in the car because he was doped up on drugs. Him coming into my room at night and spooning me and his body heat being so uncomfortable that i couldn't sleep. Him screaming at me over small mishaps like forgetting to make a fresh batch of tea for him. Him beating my mother. Him storming at me and taking up so much space with his anger that it would make me cower in fear and cry uncontrollably. Him forcing me to do things i didn't want to like go outside and play ball with him for hours and hours even though he knew i was an introvert. Me being terrified to bring my report cards home because if i ever got a bad grade he'd throw me in my room and spank me, well into my preteen years when spanking shouldn't have been a punishment i had to go through. Me being afraid of his anger bc i never knew if one day he'd snap and hit me. Him making me do everything around the house for him while he sat and watched football with his beer, clean the dishes, feed my brother, clean both his and my rooms, vacuum, dust, clean the windows, make two large pitches of tea, scrub the counters, feed and care for the all the pets, stay outside, do this do that, if you don't eat this thing you dont like you're going into your room and you're staying there and ur starving, dont lock your door or ill beat it down, always have it open privacy isn't a thing, also clean your bathroom, wash the clothes, put them up. Living everyday with my breath held waiting for the pin to drop, always afraid, always having to deal with it on my own because my mother was never there, she refused to see, she refused to help for the longest time. All of it is coming back and im honestly fucking wrecked. It feels like i cant breathe like im back to being that scared little girl just trying to make it through the day with him in the same house as me. I feel broken all over again. I've really spent more then half of my life, being meek and small and afraid and cowering from the people in my life. I've really spent most of my life pushed into a corner and broken down and not allowed to be free, trapped, not thinking anything of it until i moved away from it all. I dont know what to do. Oof. Im so sorry im dumping all this here im just so scared and im afraid to speak up because that will all solidify everything that happened (':

[blueeyedbesson]

Taking You: Chapter 4

4: Free

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

"He hates me guys." I sighed as I walked around with Angel and Aubrielle.

"He can't hate you. He's your brother." Angel said as we walked into the mall.

"Yeah. He's just simply not allowed to hate you." Aubrielle smiled. "He's just upset that you're dating one of his best friends and didn't tell him."

"Right. You should've seen how mad Jonah got when I told him about Daniel." Angel giggled. "He didn't talk to me for a week."

"Jack is my favorite person in the world. I cant stand that he's upset about this."

"Give him some time. I'm sure he'll get used to it."

"I hope so. Because if not, I'll have to break up with Corbyn & I don't think I'd be able to do it."

"I don't blame you." Aubrielle sighed. "Like Angel said, give him time."

"I will." I smiled and looked at the dresses in a store window we walked by.

●~~~~~~~~●

"Has anyone seen Jack or Corbyn?" I asked the boys as I searched the house.

"Um...I think Corbyn went to get some groceries." Daniel replied without taking his eyes away from the screen. He was playing a video game with Zach and Jonah but he was clearly losing. "Oh. And Jack is in his room."

"Okay. Thanks." I sighed and went up to Jack's room. He was laying on his bed and looking at his ceiling. "Hey. Can I come in?"

"Thought you'd wanna spend time with your boyfriend."

"Okay dude. What is your problem with my relationship with Corbyn?"

"I have no problem."

"That's bull, Jack. What's bothering you so much? You should be happy that your sister is happy."

"Fine. You wanna know what's bothering me?"

"Yeah I do."

"I've warned Corbyn multiple times that you were off limits. I even told you that my friends were off limits but neither of you listened to me. And to make matters worse, you thought keeping it a secret wouldn't piss me off but it did. Do you not even care how anybody else feels about it?"

"Everyone else is perfectly fine with it. Even the fans are happy. They like Arbyn." I sighed.

"You guys have a ship name? Oh my god." He rolled his eyes.

"Jack, you're my favorite person in the entire world but if you can't accept the fact that I'm in a happy relationship, then I guess I'm gonna have to replace you."

"Fine by me. Go ahead. Do what you want. Clearly, my feelings don't matter to you anyway."

"Of course I care about your feelings Jack. You're my brother."

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't." He muttered.

"Screw you Jack." I sighed and ran to my room, slamming the door in the process. I threw my phone on the bed and watched as it bounced and hit the wall then fell to the floor. "Fuck."

"Hey Abby. It's Aubrielle and Angel. Can we come in?"

"Yeah sure. I don't care." I sighed and sat on my floor. I picked up my phone to see if there was any damage & thankfully there wasn't.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked.

"I'm fine."

"We heard your door slam so we figured your talk didn't go well." Aubrielle said as she sat next to me.

"It sucked. He said that I don't care about anyone else's feelings and that sometimes, he wishes he wasn't my brother. I dont know what to do now." I sighed and put my head in my hands. "I'm a terrible sister. He definitely hates me."

"Maybe he feels like you don't trust him. That's usually how siblings are if you keep a secret from them. I went through this with Jonah, Esther, Zeb & Svea. But they got over it. And so will Jack."

"It's just not fair that he can be happy and in a relationship but i can't."

"Maybe he's just looking out for you. Maybe he feels that Corbyn could break your heart, like your last boyfriend did."

"Aubrielle is right. Corbyn could possibly do that."

"He wouldn't. Corbyn is the sweetest guy in the world. I got really lucky." I smiled a little when I thought of him.

"You did. I honestly don't know Jack's real problem but he's being stupid right now."

"Thanks you guys. For trying to make me feel better." I sighed and looked at my phone. "I think I'm gonna have a nap. See you guys later."

"Alright. See ya." They waved before walking out, leaving my alone. I dont know what I'm going to do about Jack.

●~~~~~~~~●

"Pizza's here!" I called to the boys upstairs. Angel grabbed some plates while Aubrielle got some drinks for everyone. The boys came down one by one, except for Jack. I'm guessing he's still mad.

"Where's Jack?"

"He went to Gabbie's an hour ago. Said he'd be back later." Jonah replied before grabbing some pizza and leaving the room. Zach, Daniel, Angel and Aubrielle followed him into the living room. Corbyn smiled at me.

"Come on. Let's go eat." He said before grabbing some drinks for us and leading me into the living room. He sat on the chair and I sat next to him with my legs across his lap.

"You guys want to play a video game or something?" Jonah asked. I looked up and his 3 slices of pizza were already gone.

"Dude, you just got your food. Where did it go?" I asked.

"I ate it." He hiccuped.

"And now you have hiccups." I laughed. "Karma."

"Shut up. It's not funny."

"Kind of is babe." Aubrielle smiled up at him from her spot on the floor.

"Damn you girls are mean." He chuckled and hiccuped.

"But you love us." We both smiled.

"Meh. Still debating that."

"Who's mean now?" Aubrielle tried acting offended but it wasn't working so well.

"Okay. Let's play a game." Zach cheered while he finished chewing the last bite.

"You guys eat incredibly fast." I shook my head and grabbed all the plates. Corbyn stood up and helped me. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He smiled and kissed my head as I set the plates in the sink and started to wash them.

"Did Aubrielle mention anything to you about what happened with Jack?"

"No. Why? What happened?"

"We got in a huge argument and he said that I don't care about anyone else's feelings and that sometimes, he wishes he wasn't my brother."

"Awe Abby. I'm so sorry." He put his arm around me and sighed. "I feel like this is kind of my fault."

"He's blaming both of us Corbyn. Not just you. Don't blame yourself too."

"But it feels like he's mostly mad st me since you're his sister. He can't really be mad at you for long."

"I know he can't. But he'll be mad for a while." I sighed and put the last dish in the rack to dry. "It'll be okay Corbyn."

"No Abby. This sucks for you. He's mad and it's hurting you. Maybe...Maybe if we weren't dating, he'd still love you."

"What? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"If you think I'm saying we should break up, then yeah."

"Corbyn."

"I'm sorry Abby. But family is more important than a relationship and I can't get between you and Jack. I still love you and it hurts so much to do this." He sighed and gave me one last kiss before walking out of the kitchen. I went up to my room and plopped down on my bed, trying to process what just happened.

"Abby, can I come in?" I heard someone say. I looked up and saw Jack standing at my door.

"Go ahead."

"So I was at Gabbie's-"

"Oh great. Just what I needed to hear."

"Let me finish." He sighed and sat on my bed. "She made me realize that family is important and that I needed to apologise for what i said. I love you Abby and I cant live with that fact that I hurt you so much. I'm sorry."

"So you're choosing now to not be mad at me? Your timing couldn't be most perfect." I replied sarcastically.

"What are you talking about?"

"Corbyn and I broke up because he said that family was more important than a relationship. He said he couldn't stand in the way of the bond we have. He stepped aside because he didn't want you to be mad at me anymore. And now, all of a sudden, you're sorry for being mad? Why couldn't you have come home 45 minutes ago?"

"I'm sorry. I had no idea." He sighed and stood up. "I'll just...leave you alone now. Goodnight."

Liked by jonahmarais, BbyAngMarais, jackaverymusic and 4,539 others

abbyavery: she's got her war paint on; she's alone again @jonahmarais

imzachherron: great song jackaverymusic: 🙁😢 jonahmarais: thanks 🤞🏼❤️ corbynbesson: 😊❤️ AubrieBesson04: okay what is going on? 🤔🤔 imzachherron: @AubrieBesson04 that’s what i’m wondering. i swear if #Arbyn broke up, i’m gonna freak out

Tags:  @ijustreallylovethem​ @samithepixie​ @averysgarl​ @jackaverybabe​ @trustfundshawn​ @lovableherron​ @beautybesson​ @jackaverx​ @scenteddanielseavey​ @beccagraceseavey​ @dolantwinmagconwhydontwestan-de​ @lilah-or-lily​ @dailydoseofherron​ @hales-a-bells @obsessedlittleangel-deactivated​ @zaddydaniel​ @brizzebesson​ @ramenavery @splendidseavey @smilingseavey@ilovejackavery @polaroidseavey @poutyavery

[poemsandpeaches]

The Black Swan Rebellion Au

Warning: mentions of death and sex. this is just a warm up since I haven't written in like 3 days.

"You're an idiot" Alex glared. "What the fuck could've possessed your brain to make you do that?"

"Commander-" Maria said, taking a step forward. "If you would just listen-"

"There's nothing to listen to, Maria. I trusted you to lead them into battle, not lead them straight to their deaths. I specifically told you not to go into the trench and what did you do?"

The brown-haired girl sighed and looked down at the stone cold floor. "I led them into the trenches."

"You're lucky I don't remove your rank as co-commander right now" The dark-haired man said, walking down the line as his tiny army of soldiers stood in line. He could tell Jefferson was holding his tongue not to put his two cents in. He loved arguing, especially with Alex. If they didn't need him so bad, Alex would've kicked him out of the group long ago.

But someone had to fight against King George and his men. Someone had to rebel and they needed all the help they could get. So he stayed.

"Madison" Alex said, taking a step towards James. You could almost see the shorter man trembling as he tried to keep his calm, collected pose that mirrored everyone else's.

"Yessir?" He asked, voice not wavering once. But Alex could read tones and faces surprisingly well as head commander. It was taking this man anything and everything not to cower down on his knees and hide his face.

"You almost got fucking killed out there. Why was that?"

"Leave him alone, Hamilton" Thomas finally cut in. Everyone knew him and James had a thing since the first recruit. They started out as partners for...sexual tension but soon the two caught feelings and were in a relationship. They acted like it was some big secret and tried to hide it, but everyone knew and played along to humor them.

Alex just sent a glare over to Jefferson. "Why did you almost get killed?" He asked again, looking back at James.

"Cause I wouldn't shoot my enemies" he whispered, looking down in embarrassment.

"That's right. That's a move that gets you killed. Being a Black Swan means no fear. If Eliza hadn't jumped in and saved your ass, you'd be-"

"Enough!" John roared, stepping out of line and running in front of James defensively, which wasn't much help since they were about the same size. "He knows what he did wrong, he cried for half an hour afterwards. Just stop!"

Everyone stared in shock, mouths agape. John never spoke out of turn, especially not this harsh. Everyone also knew that he and Alex were lovers, but they'd never let that get between their duties and stations. The Black Swan Rebellion was too important to ignore. Through John's tone, it was clear that something else was upsetting him, but Alex wouldn't press.

"I'm sorry, but who's in charge here?" Alexander asked, stepping towards John. Some of John's hair looked like it was singed off with fire. It wasn't much, only the tips. But that stressed Alex out a lot more than it should've.

"Doesn't matter" John growled. "Leave my friend alone."

Alexander grabbed his arm, not roughly, but not gently either. "Some things are more important than friendships, Laurens. You know that. If someone doesn't teach James what he did wrong, he's gonna end up just like Washington. Dead. He left in in charge for a reason. All you are is a private and you're lucky you're even that."

"Last time I checked, we're the ones winning!" John screamed. "Do you hear me? We kicked ass in that trench today! Sure, it was dangerous, but so is this whole little organization. I killed 5 men, Hamilton. Five men. I took five souls off of this planet while you sat here on your ass and watched us through a camera and planned your next little attack. Fuck off."

"You think 5 is a lot?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. "Try over 300. Take that tone with me again and I'll throw you out on the streets to fend for yourself. And I don't 'sit on my ass', thank you. I was actually at Seabury headquarters."

With that, he rolled up his sleeve to show a bandaged arm with a bloodstain covering it. "SIG Sauer P226" He said, staring down at the wound. "Saw it coming a mile away but it was too late. So don't discredit me for my work. I'll kick any of you smartasses out."

"You won't" John whispered bravely. "You need us. You need every single one of us. That's why you won't de-rank Maria. You need us right where we are."

There was a silence. There was a pause. The room seemed to freeze over in time as the two locked eyes and stared each other down. Everyone, including John, thought he was done for. That Hamilton was gonna kick him out for sure.

Instead, Alex just sighed, took a step forward and kissed Lauren's forehead. "You're washing dishes for the next month."

"You're tense" John said, walking into Alex's bedroom as he sat on the stolen red couch. "You're stressed."

"How could you tell?" Alex sighed, resting his wounded arm on one of the arm chairs. "It's bad enough we already lost 20 of our men in Georgia. We cant afford to lose anyone else."

John set the cups of tea on the small coffee table, actually bought a long time ago from an old traveling saleswoman who sold almost everything she owned for gas money to visit her son. "Drink" He whispered. "It relieves stress and makes you think more clearly."

"Thinking clearly is the last thing I need right now" Alex whispered, closing his eyes.

John just sat in silence until Alex reached out to touch his hair. "Why are you fighting this war?"

"W-what?" The freckled man asked in surprise. "What do you mean? I told you why."

Alex nodded. "You're avenging your dead parents. But why are you fighting instead of painting or singing? Why are you expressing your pain through war?"

"Because painting someone on a canvas doesn't hurt them." John said darkly. "I'm not stopping until I catch the killer and hold their heart in my gloved hand."

"Fair enough" Alex said, stroking his hair. "What happened here?"

John raised an eyebrow.

"Your hair. It's burned at the edges. What happened?"

"Oh yeah. It's kinda funny. I knew I smelled smoke but it wasn't until Maria woke me up when I realize our tent was on fire. My hair suffered in the process. I've been meaning to cut it but-"

"Let me" Alex whispered softly.

"Huh?"

"Let me cut your hair?"

"With one arm? No way. Do you even know how?"

"You only need one arm to cut with" Alexander smiled, grabbing a rusty pair of scissors from his drawer. "My Mama used to cut my hair all the time. She was a beautician after all. I've got this."

And so John succumbed and allowed Alex to cut his hair.

(It cuts off here, go to my oneshot book for the rest)