#writing is frustrating

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[t-lane-writes]

Shortening 40k words story into 14k is not an easy feat. The first 3400 fit very nicely. The next 3400 became... um... 4500.

I decided to rearrange plot points and for a moment it seemed to work. Only now, a conversation that was supposed to be around 200 words, is already at 750 and I didn't yet get to Teh Point.

Sheeesh... Whatamidoing?

[inkskinned]

i have chronic pain. i am neurodivergent. i understand - deeply - the allure of a "quick fix" like AI. i also just grew up in a different time. we have been warned about this.

15 entire years ago i heard about this. in my forensics class in high school, we watched a documentary about how AI-based "crime solving" software was inevitably biased against people of color.

my teacher stressed that AI is like a book: when someone writes it, some part of the author will remain within the result. the internet existed but not as loudly at that point - we didn't know that AI would be able to teach itself off already-biased Reddit threads. i googled it: yes, this bias is still happening. yes, it's just as bad if not worse.

i can't actually stop you. if you wanna use ChatGPT to slide through your classes, that's on you. it's your money and it's your time. you will spend none of it thinking, you will learn nothing, and, in college, you will piss away hundreds of thousands of dollars. you will stand at the podium having done nothing, accomplished nothing. a cold and bitter pyrrhic victory.

i'm not even sure students actually read the essays or summaries or emails they have ChatGPT pump out. i think it just flows over them and they use the first answer they get. my brother teaches engineering - he recently got fifty-three copies of almost-the-exact-same lab reports. no one had even changed the wording.

and yes: AI itself (as a concept and practice) isn't always evil. there's AI that can help detect cancer, for example. and yet: when i ask my students if they'd be okay with a doctor that learned from AI, many of them balk. it is one thing if they don't read their engineering textbook or if they don't write the critical-thinking essay. it's another when it starts to affect them. they know it's wrong for AI to broad-spectrum deny insurance claims, but they swear their use of AI is different.

there's a strange desire to sort of divorce real-world AI malpractice over "personal use". for example, is it moral to use AI to write your cover letters? cover letters are essentially only templates, and besides: AI is going to be reading your job app, so isn't it kind of fair?

i recently found out that people use AI as a romantic or sexual partner. it seems like teenagers particularly enjoy this connection, and this is one of those "sticky" moments as a teacher. honestly - you can roast me for this - but if it was an actually-safe AI, i think teenagers exploring their sexuality with a fake partner is amazing. it prevents them from making permanent mistakes, it can teach them about their bodies and their desires, and it can help their confidence. but the problem is that it's not safe. there isn't a well-educated, sensitive AI specifically to help teens explore their hormones. it's just internet-fed cycle. who knows what they're learning. who knows what misinformation they're getting.

the most common pushback i get involves therapy. none of us have access to the therapist of our dreams - it's expensive, elusive, and involves an annoying amount of insurance claims. someone once asked me: are you going to be mad when AI saves someone's life?

therapists are not just trained on the book, they're trained on patient management and helping you see things you don't see yourself. part of it will involve discomfort. i don't know that AI is ever going to be able to analyze the words you feed it and answer with a mind towards the "whole person" writing those words. but also - if it keeps/kept you alive, i'm not a purist. i've done terrible things to myself when i was at rock bottom. in an emergency, we kind of forgive the seatbelt for leaving bruises. it's just that chat shouldn't be your only form of self-care and recovery.

and i worry that the influence chat has is expanding. more and more i see people use chat for the smallest, most easily-navigated situations. and i can't like, make you worry about that in your own life. i often think about how easy it was for social media to take over all my time - how i can't have a tiktok because i spend hours on it. i don't want that to happen with chat. i want to enjoy thinking. i want to enjoy writing. i want to be here. i've already really been struggling to put the phone down. this feels like another way to get you to pick the phone up.

the other day, i was frustrated by a book i was reading. it's far in the series and is about a character i resent. i googled if i had to read it, or if it was one of those "in between" books that don't actually affect the plot (you know, one of those ".5" books). someone said something that really stuck with me - theoretically you're reading this series for enjoyment, so while you don't actually have to read it, one would assume you want to read it.

i am watching a generation of people learn they don't have to read the thing in their hand. and it is kind of a strange sort of doom that comes over me: i read because it's genuinely fun. i learn because even though it's hard, it feels good. i try because it makes me happy to try. and i'm watching a generation of people all lay down and say: but i don't want to try.

[leveragehunters]

CoPilot in MS Word

I opened Word yesterday to discover that it now contains CoPilot. It follows you as you type and if you have a personal Microsoft 365 account, you can't turn it off. You will be given 60 AI credits per month and you can't opt out of it.

The only way to banish it is to revert to an earlier version of Office. There is lot of conflicting information and overly complex guides out there, so I thought I'd share the simplest way I found.

How to revert back to an old version of Office that does not have CoPilot

This is fairly simple, thankfully, presuming everything is in the default locations. If not you'll need to adjust the below for where you have things saved.

Click the Windows Button and S to bring up the search box, then type cmd. It will bring up the command prompt as an option. Run it as an administrator.

Paste this into the box at the cursor: cd "\Program Files\Common Files\microsoft shared\ClickToRun"

Hit Enter

Then paste this into the box at the cursor: officec2rclient.exe /update user updatetoversion=16.0.17726.20160

Hit enter and wait while it downloads and installs.

VERY IMPORTANT. Once it's done, open Word, go to File, Account (bottom left), and you'll see a box on the right that says Microsoft 365 updates. Click the box and change the drop down to Disable Updates.

This will roll you back to build 17726.20160, from July 2024, which does not have CoPilot, and prevent it from being installed.

If you want a different build, you can see them all listed here. You will need to change the 17726.20160 at step 4 to whatever build number you want.

This is not a perfect fix, because while it removes CoPilot, it also stops you receiving security updates and bug fixes.

Switching from Office to LibreOffice

At this point, I'm giving up on Microsoft Office/Word. After trying a few different options, I've switched to LibreOffice.

You can download it here for free: https://www.libreoffice.org/

If you like the look of Word, these tutorials show you how to get that look:

www.howtogeek.com/788591/how-to-make-libreoffice-look-like-microsoft-office/

www.debugpoint.com/libreoffice-like-microsoft-office/

If you've been using Word for awhile, chances are you have a significant custom dictionary. You can add it to LibreOffice following these steps.

First, get your dictionary from Microsoft

Go to Manage your Microsoft 365 account: account.microsoft.com.

One you're logged in, scroll down to Privacy, click it and go to the Privacy dashboard.

Scroll down to Spelling and Text. Click into it and scroll past all the words to download your custom dictionary. It will save it as a CSV file.

Open the file you just downloaded and copy the words.

Open Notepad and paste in the words. Save it as a text file and give it a meaningful name (I went with FromWord).

Next, add it to LibreOffice

Open LibreOffice.

Go to Tools in the menu bar, then Options. It will open a new window.

Find Languages and Locales in the left menu, click it, then click on Writing aids.

You'll see User-defined dictionaries. Click New to the right of the box and give it a meaningful name (mine is FromWord).

Hit Apply, then Okay, then exit LibreOffice.

Open Windows Explorer and go to C:\Users\[YourUserName]\AppData\Roaming\LibreOffice\4\user\wordbook and you will see the new dictionary you created. (If you can't see the AppData folder, you will need to show hidden files by ticking the box in the View menu.)

Open it in Notepad by right clicking and choosing 'open with', then pick Notepad from the options.

Open the text file you created at step 5 in 'get your dictionary from Microsoft', copy the words and paste them into your new custom dictionary UNDER the dotted line.

Save and close.

Reopen LibreOffice. Go to Tools, Options, Languages and Locales, Writing aids and make sure the box next to the new dictionary is ticked.

If you use LIbreOffice on multiple machines, you'll need to do this for each machine.

Please note: this worked for me. If it doesn't work for you, check you've followed each step correctly, and try restarting your computer. If it still doesn't work, I can't provide tech support (sorry).

[bizarrelittlemew]

i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us

[fangedlovebites]

*taps mic* ahem. tboy who has a hard time cumming so you can just fuck into and cum in him over and over.

[tourettesdog]

I am begging people to be normal about completed fics, and in particular one shots.

I am begging people to stop demanding more from authors, and insisting that one shots need to be longer or have sequels.

I don't think yall understand how many fanfic authors are one more "where's the rest of it?" comment away from throwing out any plans they might have had to continue an idea.

Unless an author like specifically says they might write more for an idea, just-- assume something marked as completed is complete, and respect it as it stands, please.

[yuuchama]

The easiest way to find Sebek is to walk around the Night Raven campus, going "where's my Sebek?"

It elicits odd stares and plenty of snickers from the other students, but it gets the job done. You'll know when he's nearby. After repeating this phrase enough times and in multiple places around campus, you'll hear a familiar thundering cry.

"I am not your Sebek!"

The shout is eventually followed by the man himself. You can tell what direction he's in by the heavy stomps, thudding against the ground almost as loud as his voice. His frown is as sharp as his furrowed brows. The slight tinge of embarrassment colors his face.

"Human! How dare you..."

The familiar face makes you smile with joy. "There you are! There's my Sebek."

He falters. It's clear he has so much to say, but can't find the right words to get out first. They pile up in his mouth while he stammers. You fear you may have traumatized him until the verbal barrage bursts out like a dam.

"How dare you! You know I serve none other than the great heir to Briar Valley. To even imply that I am yours? A mere human's? Inconceivable! Your absurdity knows no bounds!"

He sounds as energetic as ever. You decide to interrupt the angry monologue before he really gets going.

"Sebek, I wanted to know if we're still having lunch together."

"To insult the very essence of my being! As if you..."

It takes a hot second for your inquiry to reach his ears, but when he catches it, the rambling drifts off. He grows oddly quiet. He balls his hands into fists and unclenches them several times in quick succession, testing the limits of his uniform gloves. This would already have delved into a physical fight if you were any other student.

Despite your inane actions, you're practically harmless. Any great guard should easily be able to ignore petty taunts. It's best to consider this a test. Sebek clears his throat.

"Of course we are. You didn't have to come find me just for that. I always keep my word." The redness of his ear tips peeking out from under his hair remind you of a Christmas tree.

"Great! Can't wait."

You stick out your hand for a parting high five. Sebek subverts expectations by grabbing your palm. His gloves are warm and a little sweaty after rushing to find you, and his grip is anything but soft in a boyish display of dominance.

"Do not do this again," he says. He's stern, but after that warning his voice drops to a normal level and he sounds almost gentle. "Just... text me, like a normal person. You have my number."

[paradox-n-bedrock]

me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-

*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*

me: okay, folks, it's you and me now

[simowis]

Ashes reignite

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Javik (Mass Effect), Shepard (Mass Effect), Victory (Mass Effect) Additional Tags: a What-if World, Promise a good ending for Javik, Update at random Summary:

In this story, Victory is still ’alive‘ And a not-so-average shepard, she's not a paragon or a rebel, she thinks too much! Right, Javik, you think so too, don't you?

___________

OKAY IT’S CHINESE, SUPRISED? I know not everyone know chinese so I use DEEPL to translate below. So don't expect good grammar and writing, sorry. I’m trying my best to , tune~ the translator's writing style but there are limits.

This what-if story will probably be my solution for a good ending for Javik. But now only one chapter has been written ↓

____________________

It all started here, Shepard murmured. The prothean beacons of Eden never made much of an impression on Shepard, fragmented images, noisy and blurred, pressing into her mind with a deadly dose of hellish fear. Then came Saren, then Sovereign, the beacons screaming in her head that the nightmare was really here, that it was all real. Then came Ilos, and Sherpard felt that her - and the galaxy's - fate was always in the hands of these protheans. Why was it that at every knot they were saved by the legacies and messages they left behind? Shepard shook her head as the snowflake screen on her monitor contained another image of Prothean memories that only she could see. A large mess of noisy and confusing fragments, interspersed with a complete memory. There had been a sanctuary in this land, there had been a prothean commander called Javik, the whole of his confrontation with the invaders... and the sequence of buttons he had used to open that stasis pod. Shepard immediately tore her gaze from the display, she didn't want to plunge back into it, these memories always brought her back to prothean's people, the dead civilizations, not those living ones that now desperately needed saving. Shepard immediately turned back, ignoring her companions who were still staring at the snowflake screen in confusion, and in three or two steps took out the enemy that appeared near the pod, opened the pod panel and entered the opening code.

The pod didn't open as memorized, instead, a faint ball of light emerged from the top of the pod. It looked like a VI, it looked like the VI on that fucking Ilos! Although it was even fainter than the ball of light over there, only vaguely visible in shape. The ball of light floated up and stood still, "Human, close your eyes." It seemed to speak in prothean, and Shepard merely understood it, her eyes widening defiantly.

A beam of green light was directed at her eyes and Shepard closed them in a rush as both eyes went black. "Don't resist." The prothean's warning, accompanied by this increasingly loud buzzing sound surrounded her ears, and something felt like it was tugging on a phantom angle at the back of her head, lifting it upwards, and she felt her soul separate from her body.

But then again no, she was still in her own body, which remained in its position at the side of the pod. shepard opened her eyes, surrounded by darkness and only a faint purple glow in the distance. A transparent Prothean was taking shape where the ball of light had been, it was the prothean VI, maybe the one from the memories.

"Human, primary scans indicate that unlike previous intruders, you are unindoctrinated. Further detection initiated, maintain current position and do not move."

The VI spoke prothean, it had its hands behind its back, and its four eyes were fixed on Shepard. In contrast, shepard prepares to shoot immediately. She tried to raise her hand that was gripping the gun, but the movement became very slow, too slow, like a snail crawling. It also took constant willpower to force herself to move, and she even found herself unable to turn her head. Instead, the scan had begun,, only to see a thin green line that seemed like the end of endless space touch her skin and slowly travel down her body from left to right. shepard hated this state of being unable to resist, and what made it even harder for her was the reality that these Cerberus were really being indoctrinated.

Has Cerberus really become a den of traitors? They were clearly a human primacy group to become traitors to humanity? If this VI's indoctrination detection technology can't be trusted  ......

But the one on Ilos did detect Saren being indoctrinated, so the prothean would use such technology to screen their people...it was a technology developed by a previous generation of civilisations to fight the Reaping, and by common sense was more credible. So Cerberus really ...... Shepard plucked herself out of her sinking consciousness as something occurred to her.

The detection of indoctrination did not necessitate the VI's presence in order to be carried out, so this VI should not have been in the presence of those in Cerberus.

"Correct." VI replied, "And you used the correct action and code to attempt to open the stasis bin, human. I rule that you have a low probability of being indoctrinated." !!! FUCK!!!This damn prothean VI can READ MINDS!

"A deep mental link is not normally possible for races that are not orthodox prothean, but I assume you can see the memory image to get the code to open it." VI glared at her, "The scan shows that part of your consciousness belongs to a prothean."

Okay, okay, Cipher again, looks like she'll have to deal with any antiquities related to prothean from now on. Shepard stared back at the VI, gripping the gun in her hand. "So tell me how many of the people in the stasis bins in this sanctuary are still alive?" VI immediately responded, "You do not have access to that information, human."

Well then, surely this wasn't a stupid Godburger VI with a question to answer, maybe the prothean's VI was all scanned by personality fragments, which wouldn't be able to trick it into divulging information by using logical paradoxes. Shepard had a bit of regret, but at least one question VI was explainable, she asked sternly, "Then why did you show yourself in front of me?

A clear voice came from all directions, "No sign of blood mutation due to indoctrination." A greenish-blue light lit up around them, perhaps a sign of safety. vi looked more alive as he looked solemnly at Shepard. " Answer, the correct way to open it, means not wanting to harm my comrades inside. That's why I showed up."

"So Cerberus tried to hurt someone inside?!" Shepard couldn't believe it, even if Cerberus did turn out to be a traitor, it didn't make sense from their usual research point of view, there was no way they wouldn't have known that there was a prothean hiding in there... she'd already seen the scanners in the base.

"130K standard milliseconds ago they attempted to force open this stasis bin using blasting, causing damage to the energy sustainment module, this chamber is losing life support and forcing it open will immediately kill the comrade in its frozen state," the VI paused, "so I locked the the stasis bin, changed the unlock code, and set this chamber to self-destruct in the standard 58.2K milliseconds left from now." Huh? Blow up? Crazy? Why?

VI closed his eyes, "The pod's comrade do not want his body to fall into the hands of the indoctrinated. But if the chamber is successfully opened, the self-destruct command will also be removed."

VI closed his eyes, "The pod's comrade do not want his body to fall into the hands of the indoctrinated. However, if the pod is successfully opened with the correct code, the self-destruct command will also be removed."

Shepard tried to lift her eyebrows, but the movement remained incredibly slow, "Can't you give the order to remove it yourself?" The buzzing in her ears never stopped."The control circuits were damaged by the blast after that, the most logical solution would be to remove them manually." The VI replied.

"So, now that I'm here," she imagined herself rolling her eyes,giving up on the idea of raising her gun and firing. "I'm not indoctrinated, and I'm willing to open this stasis chamber to release your compatriots. So how about telling me the code and freeing me from this damned whatever mental link? Deal?" VI nodded. "Prepare for memory transmission , close your eyes." Again?! Can't you prothean just show me in a different way, like, simply say the words?

VI didn't answer and the environment began to darken. It didn't seem to work, and Shepard closed his eyes in reluctance. This time there was no light to blind her eyes, only the weightlessness of being picked up and thrown out. It was as if she were crossing the galaxy naked, and for a moment she realised that it was the same feeling she had felt the first time she had touched the beacon here. Her head was aching, light and strange visions were flying around her, planets were flying past, the buttons in the panel made sense,She read every prothean word on it - but something began to burn her temples and she winced as the meaning of the words all but disappeared, yet the input sequence seemed etched into the depths of her consciousness, The buzzing is getting louder and louder, fragmented images flashing wildly before her eyes, the voice of the VI in the distance "Signal reception unstable, retransmission in progress ......" That's enough! I can unlock it! Shepard shouted silently, but her opponent didn't seem to understand, and the images grew more and more complex as she fell into the centre of the black hole, something's screaming all the time,the planetary point of light stretched into a straight line, the illusionary black edge caressing her as if it were a gasp in eternity ...... Suddenly, the white, translucent blackness disappeared.

—————— She fell heavily to her knees on top of the stasis bin, knocking her face into the bulkhead. It hurt! She shook her fingers and reacted flexibly, the gun in her hand.Shepard rolled her eyelids upwards, neither the ball of light nor the VI visible.

In the distance Liara and Vega came running over. "Shepard! Is everything alright!" Liara rushed to help her up and Vega came to heel. "You were running too fast, all I saw from a distance was a ball of light shining a powerful light into your eyes and then you suddenly fell down." Shepard shook her head to look at Vega, "How long did that ball of light shine on me?" "......emmmm, at most ...... five seconds?" "...... Well thanks, I think I'm okay." Shepard straightened up and exhaled deeply. "Just another traditional prothean imbuing. You know, Liara, every time... never a pleasant experience, but I just got the unlock code from it." She worked the dashboard again nimbly.

There was a deflating sound, the pod door opened and a white mist emerged from within. Soon the frozen stiff fossil from 50,000 years ago returned to aerobic breathing and with a jerk he leapt to his feet and, after dispersing the crowd with his biotic powers, he looked out over the ground to the mountains and forests staring dumbfounded.Everyone's attention was focused on his interaction with Shepard, who eventually found a living prothean and invited him aboard the shuttle. sherpard observed the new guest and tapped into a personal call channel with EDI, asking her to assign someone to retrieve the stasis bin as soon as possible. In this way, a small change, an unexpired VI, a what-if world, opened up.

[frownyalfred]

remember when Bruce broke Dick’s escrima stick with just his hand? anyway

[inkskinned]

i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.

it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.

i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".

embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.

especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.

[specialagentartemis]

A good article from Tor that articulates a lot of my impatience and frustration with current SFF marketing trends. Beige indeed.

[walloway]

Perhaps if I had written my brilliant idea down when I first had it, instead of waiting to do it later, I wouldn’t be currently struggling to remember that idea

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

[feral-ballad]

You call me the wrong name / I would rather be beast than yearning.

Alison Kronstadt, Bred In Captivity